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#toxic relationships in fiction
griseldagimpel · 6 months
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For me, when it comes to toxic relationships in fiction - and I mean toxic, not "they're freaks, but it works for them" - I'm very particular.
If it's Going to End Badly, then ooo, time to settle in for a good tragedy.
But if the writers don't want it to End Badly - and End Badly here is about the characters being happy and satisfied in the relationship, not about Bad Acts Must Be Punished in the Narrative - then I need the writers to do the work of having the characters work through the toxicity and stop being toxic.
What does not work for me as an audience member is if the writers establish a toxic relationship, fail to address that, but then try to pretend like the characters are going to live happily ever after. It just doesn't read as believable and so leaves me dissatisfied.
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primoresplendens · 2 years
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Related to my last rb, unhealthy ship dynamics tend to be attractive in fictions because it provides a constant source of conflict and hardship in some way related to the relationship. And you know conflict is everything in a fiction.
Of course, it is not to be desired for real life relationships. Of course some people forget to make that distinction. Just remember: real relationships are for the partakers, while fictional relationships are for the viewers.
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kai-strophics · 11 months
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Canon gay rep is good, really it's good but oh...it is OH SO boring....Pass the Queerbait cocaine....
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luckycloverforducks · 1 month
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(SWAP AU) Velvetwings first meet
The difference between how I colored them is on purpose btw, Velvette's cleancut and assured, Vaggie is messy and rushed, it reflects their mental states in this moment
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music-viber · 1 month
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Summary: You and your ex best friend reconnect at a secret Demi-god party literally.
Summer ended months ago and so did you friendship with your best friend Clarisse.
Warning: sexting,bullying,underage drinking,kissing,jealousy,toxic.
Friends to enemies
“Now we’re up against
The wall and she’s
calling me baby”
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You were at school and you could’ve sworn it was the hottest day of the season
Odessa got a notification on her phone ( you’ve been invited to camp half blood celebration)
You had one thought “Those people will call anything a celebration” You raised your eyebrow as you read more into it. You did wanna catch up with your friends to gossip and talk shit after not seeing them for so long. But you didn’t wanna see…her
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Last summer
Clarisse had been acting fidgety the whole morning
She only spoke to you once but it seemed like she was being distant the whole week. She’s been on her phone constantly sending selfies to whoever being all secretive. I walked in on her sending someone a picture of her in a bra that I gifted her because it suits her better. She brushed off the topic just saying she was sexting a guy from her school and that I should drop the whole thing.
Weirdo.
You guys were at breakfast when she suddenly checked her watch looking straight at you looking guilty. “I’m gonna be right back, the food is passing right through me.” She said looking at our friend group.
“Do you want me to come wait with you?” I offered
“No, I’m fine go back to eating or something fatty.”
She always made jokes with the girl but this one seemed more personal because she didn’t laugh as she usually did after. I put my breadstick down and stared at her in disbelief as she walked away and out of the dining hall. “I wonder Who’s up her ass today,” I say but it’s inaudible to others. I moved my food away from me and sat there looking at my other friends. I’m fucking hungry and she ruined it.
Then I decided I’d had enough of her odd behavior and I was gonna tell her to fuck off. I looked over at my distracted friends who were watching some new boy named Percy, “Guys I’m gonna go catch up with Clarisse.” One of them spoke “Yeah sounds good” They were just distracted by him so I left.
Odessa walked out of I dining hall and looked around for Clarisse as she saw Clarisse about to enter the wooded area looking to see if anyone saw her Odessa hit behind a cabin. “Where is she going?”
Clarisse entered the woods looking sketchy as hell
I followed behind her closely as she looked paranoid she walked for 5 minutes and then suddenly stopped in an empty area I hid behind a bolder as she just stood there looking at her watch. I quickly got tired of being hidden so I wanted to just get up and talk to her but that’s when a familiar boy walks towards her. “That’s my fucking ex,” I whispered under my breath. Clarisse smiled at the boy “Took you long enough.” She walked towards him. Odessa wanted to scoff at this interaction but remained quiet. There was no way in hell her best friend would’ve snuck off to see her ex behind her back
They had been best friends since they were kids there’s no way in hell that Clarisse would do anything to disobey her friend's trust like that.
Then she watched as their lips connected.
“Oh” she whispered under her breath.
My Clarisse with Luke castellan . I hated them both.
Things escalated quickly when their camp shirts were thrown across the ground. If felt wrong to stay even if it was an act she felt was against her. Clarisse had her legs wrapped around Luke’s torso as they made out
“Tell me I’m better than her” Clarisse had told the boy to say. Luke smiles “You better than Odessa,” he says breathlessly
Odessa had had enough and snuck out of her spot and carefully walked towards their shirts taking them and crawling away from the area heading back towards the camp. The girl had thrown their shirts in the ocean, watching as they floated away.
She couldn’t believe what she just saw. She wasn’t shocked just disappointed in her best friend. Out of all the guys at camp, why did it have to be her ex-boyfriend and her Clarisse? “Fuck this feeling.”
She wiped her tears and fixed her face to go into act two Playing dumb. She walked back into the dining hall and towards their friend group. She put on a fake worried look. “Guys I think something happened with Clarisse she isn’t back yet, I went to go look for her but I can’t find her. I said fake panicked. My performance got the attention of the group. The friend group told everyone to go around camp and look for Clarisse. They listened. It was a lost camper after all just sat outside near the campfire while people comforted me as I put on my pretended to be in distress. They said things like like. “Don’t worry we will find her” “I bet she’s gonna turn up” or “We know how much she means to you” She doesn’t mean jack shit anymore, all those years of friendship are over.
I turned to look over at a stressed topless Clarisse coming out of the woods others stopped their search. others ran over as she covered her chest with her arms “Clarisse what happened are you okay?” I hear them say. “I just stood there in front of her quietly. I have nothing to say to her.
She finally spoke after 10 questions “I’m fine does anyone have an extra shirt?” Our friends run into a cabin and get her one. “Did you enjoy it?” I whispered to her while people were distracted. “What?” She said a bit worried as if I knew something. Our friends came back to hand her a shirt. She put it on Luke came out of the woods. That’s when people whispered and stepped back.
Luke then spoke “she got lost I was helping her?” He states “bullshit.” I say at pointing at him people then put two and two together “oh did you guys just…” another councilor asks. “That’s like kinda evil.” Another person states. I looked the girl dead in her face “You are dead to me.” I stormed away into the Aphrodite cabin. I didn’t talk to her for the remainder of camp.
Our friend group forgave her after a while because they felt bad, but then again it wasn't their exes she hooked up with so I didn't blame them
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Months later and a new summer is about to start I texted my friends that I was going to the party
I needed to get out more anyway I don’t care if Clarisse la rue had been there she wouldn’t be the reason I chose to stay inside for the rest of my life because she was a backstabbing two-faced-
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Odessa walked through the doors for the party the first thing that was seen was two guys sword-fighting for a bag of Sour Patch Kids. The girl rolled her eyes and went to find her friends. She saw people looking at her from the corner of her eyes she was stunning and she knew it too. Her too was a cropped black top that almost looked like a bra with some dark blue low-rise jeans showing off her hips perfectly with some fuzzy black boots matching her top. Her hair was done into a bun with a side swoop with curly pieces falling in front of her face
She don’t bring a bag because 1. Things get stolen
2. She only needed her phone with was in her pocket.
Her lip combo was pink with red lip liner and some cute lashes/mascara she smelled amazing from using her strawberry body oil from TikTok shop.😏
She looked hot like always all she was missing was her friend group *she found them doing shots in the kitchen one by one in a contest she looked down the line of people laughing at how silly they looked
Then her eyes met hers for the first time in months
The curly-haired girl was also watching their friends from across the counter but now her eyes were on you. Looking into your soul as if she knew what was behind it. You returned the favor staring straight at her. She started to look at what you were wearing her eyebrows knitted at your shirt as she walked towards you “What the hell are you wearing” she laughed. You gave her a bitchy look “I took inspiration from you” Odessa said smiling in her face. Clarisse was confused but then remembered the day they stopped being friends. Clarisse scoffed “I think I wore that bra a bit better than you huh?” Clarisse said referring to the time you gifted her a bra set that she wore for your ex. That’s when Luke came up behind her handing her a drink. You weren’t jealous you could never be jealous… as if could ever be… Jealous. Odessa scrunched her nose. “How cute, I’m gonna go barf now” she indicated as she pretended to put her finger down her throat walking off as she made eye contact with The other woman who was just in front of her face
Hours into the party everyone was either buzzed or drunk people ate like there was no tomorrow. Odessa’s friends handed her a vape but she declined knowing it would lead to her being hungry. She didn’t want to eat too much knowing her stomach was out in the open. She started to worry about her weight after Clarisse had made comments when they were friends. She then took out her phone and opened a notification from a random Snapchat user she added earlier. Spiteful_goddess. She opened the snap from them which read “Meet me in the bathroom” showing a picture of a bathroom from the second floor. Her friend Annabeth looked over at her phone “That could either be a serial killer or a hot hookup waiting to happen.” You looked at her confused “Is there no in-between?” You ask “No.” She said leaning back as she ate a slice of pizza. “Well, I trust you to tell my story? Of how I lived a good life and all that” you tell her walking away to find whoever sent you the text
You heard a group of guys whistle when you walked up the stairs and ignored them all guys are pigs
You asked the person to send another snap of the bathroom because there were about 3 upstairs you spot one of your friends making out with her boyfriend and going into one of the bathrooms.
“Not that one.” You got a notification on your phone looking as you saw the bathroom was connected to a bedroom you walked into the only one open and looked for the bathroom. She then opened to door slowly half expecting to get stabbed. She looked around the dark bathroom confused
She turned on the light to find a gorgeous girl sitting on the countertop of the sink. A voice spoke to her “Hey bestie”
You weren’t surprised only someone obsessed with you would make a whole new Snapchat account and make you chase them around a house of drunk horny teenagers. She hopped off the counter and shut the door behind you to keep you from running off. You stare at her blankly. “Clarisse did you wanna check up on me and see if I had another ex you can steal or?”
I asked her sassily. She rolled her eyes “Listen I get it what I did was shitty but you don’t get it Odessa.” She said as if she had the right. Now she was making me mad “ I don’t get what? you backstabbing me? Because you’re fucking right I don’t get it!” I yelled in her face “People use to compare us 24/7 I got tired of it it was always, Odessa is better than Clarisse at this or even Odessa has a better this and all that bullshit” she yelled back “So yeah maybe I hooked up with your ex just to see if I was better than you in some ways than others, so forgive me for trying something new” she continued.
I gave her the most unapologetically pleasing face “ You can try new anywhere with anyone and chose fucking Luke? Why? What did I ever do to make you hate me?” Tears threatened to leave the girls eyes as she yelled at Clarisse again. “He always praised you like you were his most prized possession. “I wanted something like that.” Clarisse said softly. “Something like what?” You asked her she looked you straight in your face “Something like you… a prized possession” At this point she backed you into the wall her hand on your hip and the other reaching towards your phone. “What are you doing?” Odessa asked the girl. Clarisse grabbed your phone and set it on the counter looking back at you. She wiped your tears and kept her hands on your face “I know you saw us in the woods the day.” She stared into her eyes “I’m not mad about the shirt thing either. And I’m sorry for what I did to you… to us and our friendship.”
“I just don’t know how to handle my feelings towards you and I come up with dumb shitty ideas that are not right in any way whatsoever,” she says
You look at her in shock “Did Clarisse la rue just apologize to someone?” You ask. She looked at you seriously “She did.” She looked at her eyes “Are you drunk?” You ask in a hushed tone. Clarisse looked at your lips then your eyes “No.” Her hands brush your hair out of your face as she leans in to kiss you. It was a passionate kiss she held you like she never wanted to let go and this would be the last time ever she would have to touch you again. She wanted to make it last. She moves her leg towards the girl's heat, not breaking the kiss. Odessa gasped allowing access for Clarisse to slip her tongue in •
She felt intoxicated by the kiss moving her hands to rummage through the other girl's hair and pulling it Clarisse let out a breathy moan Clarisse pressed her leg harder against the girl's heat as she did this Odessa let out a quiet moan As they kissed and fought for dominance. Odessa opened the bathroom door leading them into the bedroom the fell onto the bed breaking the kiss Odessa was straddling Clarisse looking down at her
As they reconnect lips the door bursts open a random guy enters “PARTYS BEING RAIDED” he yelled as he ran out of the room. Both girls looked at each other confused as they looked in the hallway of people running wild trying to either hide or get out of the house. I grabbed Clarisse's hand “We should leave.” They Ran out of the room and through the back door pushing through drunk teens yelling that the police were outside they laughed as they made it out and a block down, Still holding hands.
“That was a shit show” Clarisse says
“You’re my shit show” Odessa replies
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zzoupz · 4 months
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saw a take on twitter that's like "toxic yaoi means an imperfect relationship, not abuse" and I
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misstycloud · 11 months
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Unfortunate Love
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Yandere childhood friend x taken GNreader
—————
Finn took a deep breath, a poor attempt to loosen his nerves. He had all reasons to be nervous, he was finally getting to see his long-time best friend after so many years. While they did speak on the phone and spent hours sending texts back and forth between their devices, it was nothing compared to the real thing. The blonde's felt his heart thump loudly against his chest, reminding him of all those moments in their youth when he was painfully in love with his friend and they had no clue.
Hah, they still don't! (Y/n), his bestie who doesn't know how they make him feel every time they speak. (Y/n) who had no idea of the lovesick gazes he would send them whenever they weren't looking. (Y/n) who was oblivious to his feelings for years, somehow never realising despite it staring them straight in the eyes. (Y/n) who remained clueless to his despair the day they announced their relationship. (Y/n) who never saw him on the floor in his room, covered with snot and ears, desperately crying for them.
Finn dubble checked his phone to make sure he was at the right address, it would be embarrassing to hype himself up only to be met with an old lady in the doorway. Geez, he knew (Y/n) would laugh their ass of if that happened and he'd rather not be ridiculed during their first reunion in so long. He smiled at the thought, god how he loved that laugh.
His friend always complained they hated it, but he found it cute and always reassured there was nothing to be ashamed of, even if they sounded like a 'dying-elephant-choking-on-its-own-trunk-while-having-a-cold-and-birthing-a-new-elephant.'
After just a few seconds after knocking on the wooden frame, the door swung open and he laid eyes on the most important person in his life.
"Oh my god, Finn!" You exclaimed in joy at the sight. "I haven't seen you like this in ages. It's great that you could come, I can't wait to show you everything I've told you about."
He giggled at your enthusiasm, it was always like this, you lifting him up and making him see the beauty in things he would otherwise pay no mind to.
You pulled Finn inside your apartment, excited to exhibit your home to him. "We've gotten a bunch of plants- to make the air in here fresh you know- and even started our own little plantation on the balcony. There are lots up on the roof, too. It's accessible to everyone in the building so we're not the only ones doing this. Oh, and there's a pool you can use! It's awesome for parties."
As the blonde man was getting sucked into your babble, one word in your speech painfully stuck out to him: We. Oh, right. He almost forgot. Your not alone living in this home.
"(Y/n), have you seen the wine? I wanted to bring it out for when- oh!" Finn looked passed you and saw a tall, handsome brunette make his way around the corner and meet eyes with him. "Why didn't you say he arrived already?" He chuckled and wrapped his arm around your waist. "Trying to make me look bad, are we?" Your boyfriend teased you.
You slapped his arm, "Of course not, just got a bit caught up in the conversation, Eric. And I put the wine in the second box in the fridge, it's behind a bunch of other stuff so it's hard to see."
"Haha, okay, was getting panicky there." Eric stepped forward to properly greet his guest. "Hey, I'm Eric as you probably already know."
"Finn." He responded dryly, but if the other man noticed, he didn't express it. Or perhaps he simply didn't care.
"It's fun to meet one of (Y/n)'s old friends, I know you two go way back." Ushering his partner's childhood friend further inside, he spoke, "I hope the trip wasn't too much of a hassle, wouldn't want this to be of any trouble for you."
Of course it wasn't any trouble, Finn wanted to snap. But he wasn't dumb enough to do that. He understood what would happen if he acted upon his feelings.
“No, there were no issues.”
The three of you sat down in the living room, pouring the liquid evenly and getting the conversation started. Finn found himself multiple times wanting to throw your partner against the wall. It was so unfair. Everything was. Why did Eric get to live with you and he didn't? He knew you way better than your own boyfriend. You two have been together since you were crawling around in diapers. What could possibly beat that?
He was there when you lost your first tooth. He was there when you first learned to ride a bike, when you got that job at the ice cream shop in the plaza, and moved out of your parents house. All the important moments in your life, he had been present. And what the hell has Eric done except watering some plants with you? It was laughable. Anyone could see he was not worthy of being your boyfriend. Finn would do anything for you and he doubted the same could be said for Mr. Gardner.
A part of him was ashamed at the unethical length he was willing to go, but on the other hand those feeling were washed away when he saw you beaming at him. It was all worth it if it was for you.
You and Eric were retelling funny stories of your time in the city while Finn was writhing in envy, glaring slightly in the other man's direction, not that you noticed of course. Dinner rolled around and you served your friend with great eagerness, you have been working on your culinary skills for a while now and it was time to see if the work had payed off. The brunette had endured as your Guinea pig and said it tasted good, but you insisted the true test was giving the food to someone else.
"How is it?"
Finn gasped for added affect, "It's amazing (Y/n)! You're a fantastic chef, this is definitely the best meal I've ever had." He praised, and your ego nearly boosted through the roof.
Your cheeks dusted a light pink. "Haha, well thanks. It's not that good, but I appreciate it."
The blonde man simply smiled in content. The truth was, the dish was in fact not that good. It wasn't bad by any means, however it wouldn't win any award. The past was cooked too long and the sauce had a burnt taste to it. Despite all these factors, it was without a doubt the best meal he ever had. Because it was something you had made for him with your own hands. Even the ingredients were ones you'd grown by yourself. (Partly with your sweetheart's help, but Finn pretended not to know.)
You really were his true love. Which is why it is so sad. He wasn't sure if he could love anyone other than you. After he found out about your relationship status the young man tried to make himself like someone else; not everything works out the way we wish them to and he was therefore forced to live with his unrequited love.
"Actually, there's another reason we wanted you to visit." You joyfully mentioned. "It's pretty important."
Your friend chewed his food and gave you a nod, signaling you to continue your speech. He wondered what is was. It appeared to be a big deal, but he assumed it wasn't anything bad judging from your happy expression, one that was mirroring the brunette's. A dreadful feeling formed in his gut. He didn't like this.
"Well," you started, coyly. "Me and Eric have been dating for a long time now, and we want to take the next step in our lives together."
No, he really didn't like where this was going.
"So, we made the decision to-" you could barely contain your smile, " get married!"
Something in him shattered. Married? You? To someone else. Fuck, he wanted to cry. But that would definitely set you off into a worrying mess, something he'd rather avoid. No, no , no, he thought. It can't be! Although he tried to contain his emotions as best he could, it appeared som e of it slipped passed the mask.
"Hey, you good man?" Eric asked.
This comment attracted your attention, "Huh, are you not feeling well, Finn?" Fretting over his condition only served to worsen the situation, reminding him of what he couldn't have.
In the end he had to excuse himself and lie that he did feel a bit sick, and that he had been for a while but thought he would be fine after a while. You were sad that he had to leave so soon and wished him well. Escorting him to the door, you said to him, "Sad you're not 100% top today."
"Ehehe, yeah...." he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Technically it wasn't a lie, he did want to go and bury himself in a corner, though it was for other reasons entirely.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night here, it's no problem?" Oh how good willed you were, offering up space in your home to stop your friend from having to spend money on a hotel. Normally he'd love to spend the night, this time however, he didn't believe it to be a wise idea for any of you.
"Yeah I'm sure. I'll just get a hotel room not far away and then I'll drive back home tomorrow."
"Okay, maybe we can hangout before you go if you're better tomorrow?" You asked hopefully. "Just you and me like old days."
This made him smile. Just you and him. That sounded good. He agreed to your request and hugged you goodbye for the night. You waved to him from the window when he'd made his way outside and into his car. Watching Finn drive away, you felt a hand sneak itself around your waist.
"Think he'll be alright?" A deep voice sounded from behind you.
"Yes, it'll be all fine. Nothing a goodnight's rest can't fix." You assured. Though, something about your friend's reaction didn't sit right with you. He should be over the moon of your engagement, he seemed nothing like that. If anything, he looked...pained?
//////
Back in the car, the volume from the speakers were loud enough to burst one's eardrums. But that didn't matter the the driver. No he had a lot more to think about. The blaring music did nothing to ease the pain or distract him, which left him misrable.
Why the hell did you have to get engaged. Couldn't you have been fine as it was. Now, it was more serious than ever. In the beginning, he had actually hoped that you would eventually break up. That wouldn't happen now. Now it was legit. Legal papers and documents and everything. What was next on the list, kids?
Finn heaved a heavy breath, releasing a mix between a gurgle and sob. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he slowed the vehicle to a stop by the deserted road. The darkness kept people from seeing his sorry state; not that there were any out to begin with. Slamming his fist on the dashboard, he yelled his pain.
Why do love hurt so much?
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justmeinadaze · 13 days
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Finally/Beautiful Stranger (Steddie X You)
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A/N: Part of this AU, you don't have to have read the others to understand but it helps!
Also, please feel free to donate or buy me a coffee. Anything helps but of course you don't have to. I will still love you :)
Warnings: Former Addicts Steddie X Fem Y/N, SMUT, slight spanking, dirty talk, very light DOM dynamics touched on, mentions of lose of virginity (as well as the pain that comes along with the first time), FLUFF, These three people love each other very much and all three are happier compared to previous chapters. The talk about their new lives and careers with pride <3.
ANGST, dark themes!! of addiction and recovering addicts explored. Not new for this series but again this one is much lighter than the others. They both discussing cravings and Eddie having a slip a few months prior. Steve works at a center with children of addicts and one boy has a similar situation to Y/N's accident so she helps him through that.
The boys mention regrets including being aggressive with the reader verbally and sometimes physically when they weren't sober so DOMESTIC ABUSE TRIGGER.
There are flashbacks of them as kids so mentions of Eddie and Steve dealing with their toxic dads.
I think that's it! As always go carefully in this AU and if you choose not to read that is ok. I will still love you!
Word Count: 8358
1974
You winced as you landed back first on to the gravel underneath where you had fallen from the jungle gym. 
“Oh wow! Are you okay?!” A set of hands gripped your biceps as they helped you get to your feet. “You have some stuff on your dress. Let me…” The boy’s voice trailed off as you felt him dust off the nature that stuck to your outfit. 
“Thank you.”, you mumbled as you turned to meet your hero, coming face to face with honey brown eyes and a comforting smile. 
“You’re welcome. Are you alright? Do you need to go to the nurse or…?”
“No. I think I’m okay. My, uh, back broke my fall.” You grin when he laughs. “I’m Y/N.”
“Steve.”
“Harrington?”
“Um, yeah?”
“No! Don’t mean to sound mean. The girls in my class think you’re cute. They never shut up about you.”
The boy laughs harder and your grin grows at the sight of his scrunched nose. 
“I have no idea why. I’m not that great.”
“I don’t know. I mean…I think you are.” Steve blushes at your answer and you reach out to grab his hand leading him towards the swing set. 
The two of you talk casually about things normal children your age talk about like tv shows and music. Shouting suddenly grabs your attention causing you to slow to a stop as a boy runs around the corner and heads towards you both.
“FREAK! THIS ISN’T OVER!”
“Thomas Hagan!”, a teacher yells, blocking him with her body so he can’t follow. 
The boy pauses as he leans against pole of the swings trying to catch his breath. 
“Are you alright?” He jumped as your hand reached out to touch his arm as he held them up defensively. “Hey. Hey, it’s ok. We won’t hurt you. I’m Y/N and this is Steve.” His chocolate eyes scanned you both over before finally sighing in relief when he realized you weren’t a threat.
“What’s your name?”
“E-Eddie. Eddie Munson.”
“Oh! You’re the kid that just started here. I’m sorry, man. Welcome to hell.”, Steve joked causing an exasperated laugh to leave Eddie’s lips. 
“Did Tommy do that to you?”, you ask as you gesture towards his black eye.
Shaking his head, he came over to sit on the swings beside you both. 
You couldn’t explain it at the time, not even now, but as you sat there talking to them you felt comfortable. You felt like you had known them your entire life. Nothing in this moment could have prepared you for the future that was headed towards you all. 
##########
1993
“Where up north are you, Stevie?”, Eddie asks as he takes a big bite of the burger in front of him. 
“I’ve been up in Detroit for a few months now working at a youth clinic. There’s a lot of good kids there who just need some help.”
“I’m proud of you, dude. We’re supposed to head over there to record with this big time producer. What about you, princess? Where do you call home?”
“I don’t actually have a home right now. I’m a writer for a music magazine so I’ve been on the road mostly for the past 2 years listening to bands and staying in hotels.”, you giggle as a huge smile adorns your face. “Maybe soon I’ll get to write about you, Eddie.”
“Here’s hoping. We just got signed but the manager at the label says we ‘really have something’.”
“Of course you do. You guys were always amazing.”
“Pfft, yeah sure. Drugged out me could barely focus on the strings let alone create a melody.” 
The table went silent as a heavy energy fell around the table. 
“How have things been? Any cravings?”, Steve asks as he folds his arms to lean forward on his elbows. 
“Oh, Harrington. I’m an addict. I always have cravings but choose to resist them.”
“Has it gotten any easier. To resist them, I mean.”, you inquire.
“Yes and no. I mean I used to snort blow 24/7 and now I don’t. I can go about my day and live my life but when something hard hits me or I’m having a bad day I have to physically talk myself out of not looking for a fix.”
“I can understand that. There were a few days where I sat outside of bar staring at the front door for hours before driving away.” His eyes flick towards you as he continues. “I still struggle with regret… regret that we…ruined your life.”
“You didn’t ruin my life. You definitely didn’t make it easy but… I should have left or cut ties beforehand. I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know how…to live without you two in my life.”
“Yeah. We get that to.”, Eddie sighed as a silence fell around the table. 
It had been a long time since the three of you had been together without the vices getting in the way or taking control. You had no idea how to be around them when they were sober. 
“Hey, uh, I have an idea if you two would be up for it.”, Steve grins as he tries to elevate the mood again. “Since the two of us will be in Detroit, why don’t you come with us, honey? Maybe the three of can hang out and spend some time together again. You’re even welcome to stay at my place. I don’t have a spare room but, Y/N, you can take my bed and the two of us can sleep in the living room or something.”
“Oh, Steve, I don’t want to impose—”
“No. No imposition whatsoever!”
“I can do that.”, Eddie confirms. 
“Ok. I’m ok with that.”
They both heavily exhale as if they had been holding their breath waiting for your answer. 
#########
1976
After getting into a fight with his father, Steve ran to your house knowing you’d make everything better. As soon as he showed up, you called Eddie who biked over as quickly as he could and after he arrived, you both listened intensely as the boy vented. 
“Everything’s going to be ok, Steve. You know you’re welcome to stay here.”, you try and soothe the boy as you wrap your arms around his shoulder. 
“Why am I never enough for that asshole?!”
“Because he’s just that; an asshole.”, Eddie quips making the other boy softly smile in his direction. 
“I should just do whatever I want to since I can never make him happy.”
“That’s a good idea. Oh! I’ll be right back.”, the boy grins at you both before running up your stairs. 
“Steve, you ARE amazing. I’m sorry he can’t see that but no matter you have us.” Grabbing his face, you kiss his cheek causing him to blush. 
Music starts to play and you both look up to see Eddie coming down the stairs with your bulky radio in his hand. Placing it on the bottom step, he stagers around in place as he begins to lip sync the lyrics. 
“I'll state my case, of which I'm certain I've lived a life that´s full I've traveled each and every highway And more, much more than this I did it my way.”
The guitar starts to play and Eddie pretends to strum as he jumps to the ground, continuing to sing as he dances around you both. 
“Regrets, I’ve had a few But then again, too few to mention I did, what I had to do And saw it through without exemption.”
Grabbing Steve’s hand, you do the same, dancing to the music as you three sing along.
“I planned each chartered course Each careful step along the highway And more, much more than this I did it my way.”
Eddie spins you and you laugh as you watch wide smiles paint their faces. You loved them both so much and knew after everything they go through they deserved happy, peaceful moments like this. To you, they deserved the world. 
***
The flight up to Detroit was uneventful but Steve did fill the time by telling you about some of the kids at the clinic he worked at while Eddie crashed beside him. His eyes lit up as he spoke, telling you about the turnaround a lot of them had made and how talented they all were. 
“Amanda is such a smart girl. She’s 15 and she can draw these beautiful pictures. I’m working on seeing if I can book a gallery or something for her to show her work. Right now, she draws for her mother works two jobs to help take care of them because the dad is a junkie.”
“What kind of things does she draw?”
“She can do portraits and people. She drew me once as this like superhero. I have the picture on my fridge.”
“That’s amazing.”, you beam up at him as he smiles to himself. “Steve, I really am proud of you…of both of you.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”, he softly grins as his gaze shifts towards his lap. “I’m very proud of you as well. I’m glad you found something that makes you happy. When we were growing up you had mentioned writing before.”
“Yeah. I never knew what I wanted to write about but one day a guy I was dating overheard me talking about grunge metal and offered me a job.”
“Hm. Are you two still together?”
“Uh, no. We only dated for a couple of months. I’m not with anyone right now. No time.”, you chuckle trying to lighten the mood again. “What about you? Any future Mrs. Harringtons?”
“No. No future Mrs. Harringtons. I kind of spent time focusing on me and now the kids.”
“You have to be careful with that. You don’t want to fill one addiction with a new one and miss life entirely. I’m guilty of that those first three years after I left.”
***
You and Eddie enter Steve’s apartment slowly as you take a look around. It was a bit smaller than what you were used to when it came to him but he made it his own. There were posters of bands he enjoyed along the walls with some shelves lined with books he had read. In the corner of his living room was a desk with a few papers and pictures clients had drawn him over the years. A frame caught your eye and you bent down to get a good look as you took in his sobriety coins.
“Yeah, I, uh, bought one of these little frame things because it felt disrespectful to just throw them somewhere.”
“That’s amazing, dude.”, Eddie praised as he threw down his bag. “I, uh, I had an incident a few months back. I’m on the blue 6 month one but…”
“What happened, Ed?”
“Oh, um, nothing we need to get into, sweetheart. I did the proper protocol with my sponsor and she helped get me back on track.”
Steve patted his back comfortingly, knowing how hard it was and is to remain sober. Gesturing you down his hallway, he led you towards his bedroom and you grinned at the simplicity. 
“The bathroom is right in there and please both of you feel free to take anything from the kitchen. Me casa es su casa.”, he chuckles as he nervously runs his hands through his hair. “Sorry, that was cheesy.”
“Steve, you guys don’t have to try so hard. Just be yourselves.”
“That’s the thing isn’t it?”, Eddie sighs from his spot against the wall. “The three of us don’t exactly know who we are together anymore.”
You gently smile in his direction as you reach for his hand.
“We’re best friends. Always have been.”
######################
1980
“Eddie, why does that sound familiar?”, you grin from your spot on his bed where you had been listening to him strum his new guitar his uncle bought him at the pawn shop in town. 
After his run in with the lady in town today, Rick offered him something from his secret stash. He was amazed at how fast it began working, numbing the anger he was feeling and pushing him to a blissful state he didn’t want to experience alone.  
Grinning, he continues to move his fingers as his gentle voice fills your ears. 
“Baby, if I think about you I think about love Darlin', if I live without you I live without love.”
“They’ve been playing it on the radio nonstop.”, he chuckles, rolling his eyes.
“You sound amazing. I can’t wait to see you on that stage one day.”
“Pfft. Me? Al Munson’s trailer trash kid rocking it out on stage making millions of dollars and being successful?”
 Fueled with frustration, you grip his chin and force him to look at you. 
“Don’t ever let me hear you say anything like that again, Edward Munson. You are NOT trash and you’re nothing like your dad. You can be anything you want to be.”
“Yeah…tell that to people in this backwards town.”
“Fuck what these people think! I think you’re fantastic and so does Steve. You hung out with Rick today. I’m sure he thinks you’re an awesome friend.” Your eyes scan him over when all he does is nod. “Eddie, did something happen in town today? Did someone say something to you?”
His own beautiful, chocolate color hues stare past you for a moment before he blinks back into the moment and flashes you a big, tooth filled grin. 
“No, sweetheart. I guess I’m just feeling a little low today. I’m sorry.”
Running his fingers over the strings, he plays the song with much more vigor than before. 
“I would give you both night and day Love satisfyin'
Feel like makin' Feel like makin' love.”
“Mhmm. What do you know about makin’ love, Munson?”, you giggle allowing him to lighten the mood. 
“Oh, baby. I’m going to be a rockstar, remember? I know everything.”, he winks.
***
You smile as you sit in the booth watching Corroded Coffin play their music. Eddie was in a completely different zone as his fingers ran across the strings of his guitar. This was his dream; this is what he always wanted but always felt was out of reach. 
When he was in his drugged out haze you would watch him lazily try to play but stumble as his fingers trembled against the instrument. It killed you because you could always picture him on stage with a crowd full of people screaming his name. He just never believed it himself. 
“That was good, baby.”
“That was fucking garbage, Y/N. I barely played anything that would count as a note.”
“That was fantastic guys. Eddie, your band undersold your talent!”, the producer compliments making the metalhead blush. “Ok, let’s take lunch and we’ll come back in about an hour. There’s a cafeteria on the first floor if you guys are interested. It’s on me.”
“You sounded amazing.”, you grin as you meet him in the hallway. “I told you that you were going to be a rockstar one day.”
“Ha! I’m not quite there yet but thank you, sweetheart.”
After getting your food, you both sit and talk about the last couple of years. Eddie told you about some jobs he worked at in Indiana not wanting to be too far from the guys so they could practice and work on things together for the band. He mentioned Wayne and how well he was doing especially after being promoted to a higher position at his work. 
“He deserves it. Wayne always worked way too hard for almost no money and appreciation.”
“Tell me about it.”, he chuckles. “And of course, the first day he starts his new position, he gets a crush on one of the female employees underneath him!” 
That makes you laugh hard and he relishes the sound as his eyes watch you light up. That feeling of regret washes over him and he averts his gaze to his plate as he shuffles some food around.
“So, um, any rockstar boyfriends out there touring the world?”
“No, no boyfriend. I focused on myself more than anything and honestly haven’t had time for a full-blown relationship.”, you reply. “What about you? Any new girlfriends?”
“Naw, sweetheart. I’ve kind of been doing the same thing more or less.”, he answers sullenly. “Quite frankly, I haven’t met anyone who would be willing to sneak backstage of a Metallica show and pretend to be the building manager to get her boyfriend an autograph.”
This time when you laugh, he cackles with you and embraces the warm feeling that follows. 
“I told him it was for my kid.”, you blush. “God, hopefully I never have to write for them. I’ve been lucky so far but that will be an awkward exchange if they remember me!”
“Are you kidding, princess? You definitely leave an impression! Who could forget about you?” Eddie froze as he heavily exhaled and shook his head. 
“Y/N, I’m sorry…”
“No, Ed, it’s ok…”
“You would think I’d have this down by now but…”
You nod before you rise to your feet and get on his side of the table to sit beside him. 
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lean your head on his shoulder as he reaches up to caress your arm.
#################
1980
Steve tenderly grins your way as he watches your eyes light up at the movie Kungfu you two had been watching. Well, you had been watching. He had been stuck in his own head after that ridiculous conversation with his dad. 
“Son, you’re about to start high school which means it’s time to really buckle down and focus. No more fucking around. If you want to run my company one day you can’t keep being lazy.”
While he had been talking there was a woman in his office waiting for him to give her attention. Her dress seemed way too tight and it inched up her thighs as she sat on top of his desk. Steve would never understand why his father cheated on his mother. To him, these women weren’t nearly half as pretty as her nor anywhere close to being as loyal as she was. 
His dad said he needed to ‘buckle down and focus’ but what he heard was ‘it’s time for you to start being like me’. 
Steve hadn’t planned on coming over but he felt weird after drinking the bottle he found. He thought booze were supposed to make you happy but he found himself feeling incredibly lonely. When he showed up unannounced, you opened your front door and eagerly ushered him with no hesitation. 
You always made them feel like they mattered. 
“Steve? Are you alright?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m ok. Just thinking.”
“Did you want to watch something else? I put this on because I know the cheesy effects make you laugh.”, you giggle as his smile grows. 
“Naw, honey. This is fine. My dad was being…himself you know?”
“I know. You know you can always talk to me. I love you and I’m always here for you.”
Opening his arms wide, you fall into his embrace and he prays you don’t smell the liquor that lingers.
***
“Oh, wow. Look at you and you have your own shelf.”, you tease as Steve leads you into his office. 
After leaving Eddie so Corroded Coffin could continue recording, you headed to the center the other boy worked at so he could give you the “grand tour” as he called it. You grinned at the drawings and pictures he had posted everywhere around him. Multiple books and files were strewn out all over the place on his desk but a particular photo caught your eye. 
“Oh, um, yeah. I still keep that there as a reminder.”
Picking up the image of you three at the amusement park, you smile as you fall into the memory. They both seemed extremely content that day as if all their worries had disappeared. You thought about that day often to especially when you passed one on the tour bus you were riding in at the time. 
“The kids ask me about you two constantly.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Do you want to meet them?”
When you nod, his grin stretches across his face as he giddily grabs your hand and guides you to a much larger room where some kids were already sitting around waiting. 
“Mr. Harrington brought a date to group!”
“Look at Hugh Hefner over here!”
“’Bout time you settle down, old man!”
“Alright, alright. All of you settle down.”, Steve jokes as you laugh. “This is my friend from Hawkins I tell you guys about. This is Y/N.”
“You’re the girl he doesn’t shut up about.”, a young lady smiles. 
“That would be Amanda.”
“I know you. He told me all about you on the ride up here. Your work is amazing.”
“Thank you!”, she beams.
Taking a seat beside Steve, you watch as he conducts the group session, introducing each kid and responding where appropriate. You couldn’t help but marvel at his change as he took control and seemed way more confident than he ever did back home. 
There was no one he needed to impress or a “legacy” he needed to live up to. He could just be himself.
“Please, Katie. Trust me, your mom doesn’t fucking care. That’s why she drinks.”
“Derek.”, Steve warned. “That’s not how we talk to each other in here.”
Your eyes scanned over the boy across from you. He couldn’t be older than 17 but he seemed to carry years of anger and burden on his shoulders. His arms were folded tight around his chest; a barrier to protect him from anyone trying to get in. Emphasized by the oversized hoodie that he kept up over his head. 
You knew this boy; you had been him.
“What? Am I wrong? If she cared she’d stop fucking binge drinking every night and actually spend time with her daughter.”
“Who in your family drinks? Mom or dad?”
All eyes turn to you after you pose your question.
“My dad. Why? Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does. I know how hard it is…to have someone you love choose substances over you. It fucking hurts.”
“Look, I don’t need another adult to patronize to me, okay?”
“She’s not. If anyone understands what you guys are going through it’s Y/N. Especially you, Derek. Remember how I told you guys about my accident and DUI? Y/N was…was in the car with me.” Steve stumbles over his words before quickly trying to regain control again. 
“Hm. Did you rat him out? Is that why he’s clean now? Are you going to tell me I should be open and honest or some shit?”, the boy spat.
“No, I didn’t. I actually told the police I didn’t remember who was driving. Took a couple of weeks though because I needed surgery after metal from the car sliced through me. He never even came to the hospital.”
“Wow, Mr. Harrington. You were an asshole.”, a girl sighed. 
“I was wasted and terrified. I couldn’t face what I did to someone I loved.”
Derek’s eyes were suddenly glassy as he adjusted his body in his seat.
“He does love you, honey.”, you coo towards the boy as his bottom lip quivers. “If it were as easy as putting the bottle or drug down they would. Some people can but for others it’s so much harder. Whether they heal or not is ultimately up to them but no matter what happens, Derek, none of it is your fault.”
The young man sighs as he breaks down and the girl beside him wraps her arms around him as he cries. A palm touches yours and you turn your head to see Steve’s soft eyes taking you in. 
You see the never-ending apology within them as flashes of the old boy you knew before the booze pushed through before receding as he flashes you a gentle grin and lifts his hand. 
################
1983
“Guys, really? Do we have to eat all this before going on the rollercoaster?”, you giggle as you watch Eddie pour more cheese over the nachos in front of you three.
“Yes, sweetheart, we do.”, he answers in a serious tone as his tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. 
“And the cherry on top.” 
Steve produces a cupcake from his side and places it in front of you as the metalhead pushes a candle through the top of the frosting. You smile as Steve cups his hands around it while Eddie pulls out his lighter and ignites the wick. 
“Now make a wish and blow out your candle.”
Your gaze shifts between their happy faces as they wait for you to complete the task. 
“I wish everyday could be like today.”
As you blow it out, both boys clap and cheer making you blush as Steve kisses your cheek. 
“Happy birthday, beautiful.”
Eddie leans over to take hold of your jaw and peck your lips before sitting back down. 
“Happy Birthday, princess. Now, you eat this while sire and I devour this here.”
“Why do I have to and she doesn’t?”
“Because it’s her birthday, Steven! No stop whining and say Ah!”
As the boy scowls he unhooks his jaw and Eddie shoves a chip into his mouth making you laugh as you lean against him. 
“Oh my god, you two are ridiculous! I love you so much.”
***
You laugh hard at the joke Eddie had made as Steve struggles to keep soda inside his mouth while he cackles with you. 
“I really missed you guys.”, the metalhead announces, his gaze shifting between you both. “I mean I’ve made a lot of new friends you know but I talk about the things we used to do like me doing Karaoke to make Steven laugh or you and I, Y/N, going to the horror movie marathon just outside of town.”
“I remember that. That was so much fun.”, you smile. 
“One of the things I enjoy about my job is interacting with those kids. Most of them are sarcastic as fuck like you, Ed, or extremely kind like, Y/N. Thank you for what you did with Derek today by the way. He struggles to talk about his relationships with anyone let alone about his dad.”
“May I ask what happened? You mentioned our accident…”
“Um, yeah. It was kind of the same thing. His dad hit a car with him in it while drunk, ran from the scene, and Derek took the blame. His dad begged him to before he bolted…kid was only 15.”
“Jesus.”, Eddie sighed. “Sounds like my dad.”
“He seems like a good boy. He’ll be okay.” You flash him a comforting grin and he can’t help but smile back. “I, um, I feel like we keep ignoring the elephant in the room. I want you to know I am genuinely so proud of you both. Steve I never imagined you’d be as confident as you seem now. You always told me you thought you were worthless and I know that’s because of your asshole dad. I watched for years as you lived in his shadow but were still so terrified of becoming him… Those kids don’t have to experience that because they have you now.”
“Eddie, you were always afraid of people abandoning you and numbed yourself constantly. When you were numb you were so angry and heartbroken. When I saw you playing your guitar again with your band… you finally seemed at peace.” 
Your voice cracked as a tear escaped your eye and you awkwardly laughed as you wiped it away. 
“That’s all I ever wanted for you two.”
“6 months ago… when I relapsed… I was in such a low place. My apartment I was staying in got robbed, I had just been let go from a job I was at, and this girl I was dating said she didn’t want to see me anymore. She said I was loser and it fucking hurt like hell. I felt so alone and it was almost like a dream. I barely even remember where I bought the drugs or how I got back home but as soon as it hit my nose I regretted it.”
“Y/N, I saw your face and everything I wished I could take back. The fights, the names, the pain… The way we talked to you.” He cringed as memories flashed through his mind.
“I get that. Of course, my biggest regret is the accident but the one I think about the most is the first time we were intimate when we…I…” You looked at Steve with sincere confusion not thinking anything of that night. Then again compared to all the others you had after it was just a blip in a chaotic timeline. “Y/N, honey, you lost your virginity on my couch after threatening to leave us because of the jugs of liquor you found in my trash.”
“We should have done it right. I picture us taking you to dinner and you’d be wearing that red dress we loved.”
“Yeah, that one floofed out above your knees kind of like a tutu.”, Eddie chuckled. “With your hair up in a ponytail so we could so your face. You always wore make up but you never needed to. You were…are… so beautiful.”
“How are you two dressed?”, you murmur their way.
“Let’s see. I’d probably have my jeans and black shirt but I would have made sure it was clean with little to no cigarette smell.”, the metalhead jests causing you two to let out a little laugh.
“I’d have worn jeans to but a nice polo shirt I think to go with it and that expensive cologne my dad kept buying me.”, he smirked. “We’d take you to Enzos because you deserve a nice meal but of course you would complain about the prices even though we insist it’s no problem.”
“Some soft music would be playing and we’d ask you to dance.”
Steve rises to his feet and messes with his stereo till a slow 70s song flows through his speakers. Extending his hand to you, you take it as he pulls you to your feet and places one of his palms on your lower back as he holds the other in the air. 
“Is this ok?”, he whispers under his breath, exhaling heavily in relief when you nod. “I would tell you about how I fell in love with you the first time I met you. You said all the girls in your class had a crush on me but I didn’t get it. I think I said something along of the lines ‘I’m not that great.’ And you said—”
“I don’t know. You seem pretty great to me.”
He tenderly smiles at your response before grabbing your hand to spin you and pass you to Eddie who was waiting with open arms. 
“I would have probably made a joke about the music saying that dancing to Dio is way better.” He smiles when you giggle. “I’d tell you that the first time I saw you I thought you were way too good for me. I remember you asked about my black eye my dad had given me and it surprised me. Every other adult already assumed or were afraid to ask, staring at me constantly. But you actually fucking cared.”
“Then what would happen?”
Eddie passed you back to Steve and this time you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your head against his chest. You didn’t see it but he and the metalhead exchanged a glance filled with slight worry as he held you and leaned his cheek on top of your head. 
“Y/N, honey—”
“You don’t have to answer. I can let you go, we can get ready for bed, and go back to being friends. We’ll always be at least that because I agree with Eddie. I miss you two so much but unlike the first time I left…I don’t feel bad about it.” 
Pulling away from him, you back up a bit to address them both. 
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been and you were right in the letter you left me. I had some more healing to do to. I needed to find out who I was without you and now that I figured that out…I want to see if…maybe…we can start over. I mean we’ve all grown so much and I’d like to get to know the two men in front of me.”
Their eyes continually scan over you, trying to understand and get a true read to make sure you’re alright.
“But like I said, you don’t have to. We can go back to laughing or go to sleep. If it makes you feel better, you taking my virginity that morning…I don’t remember it being a bad experience. Yeah it hurt but it was going to for me anyway and not just because I was virgin.”, you tease, smirking their way.
You were surprised when Eddie was the first to move, taking agonizingly slow steps till he was directly in front of you with his nose hovering just above your own. After blinking a couple of times, he pulled you into his embrace and you closed your eyes as you inhaled his signature smell while clinging your arms around him. 
“I love you.”, you whisper. As if your words were a match, they ignited the metalhead’s passion as his hands tilted your head back and he kissed your lips. As if muscle memory was taking over, you clung to his neck as you jumped up into his arms and his hands promptly took hold of your thighs as your legs wrapped around him. 
As he starts to carry you, his feet give out underneath him as he trips over something and you both tumble to the floor. He manages to keep himself from crushing you as his palms shoot out to catch himself on the hard wood. 
“Fuck! Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot for a moment this wasn’t my place.”, he chuckles shakily. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”, you laugh.
“I feel like a fucking teenager. I’m actually…I don’t know…nervous.”
“Would it…make you feel better if I admitted I’m nervous to? It’s been a while for me and if I’m being honest I think I’ve only been with you guys sober that one time but that was after that intense session. We’ve never been together…like this.”
Wind moves your hair and you both turn to see Steve laying out one of his blankets with a couple of pillows on the floor. 
“I wish I had lost my virginity to you.”, he admitted. “I was wasted and I’m ashamed to say I don’t even remember the girl’s name. I think you’re the only girl…woman… I’ve been with sober.”
“I was half awake.”, Eddie sighed. “Karla something in the back of my van. I barely remember it either.”
“Were you rough with the other girls like you were me?”, you asked.
“Sometimes but you were the only one that seemed to enjoy it.”
“Did you?”, the metalhead asked. “We never even asked what you liked in bed. Just kind of did our own thing…”
“I did and I didn’t. I hated when we did it after a fight. Kind of like that night we went to Steve’s house after spending time at The Hideout. Eddie said I wanted to fuck Andrew and Steve, you got mad at me because I defended you in front of your dad. You said I butted in and made things worse. You both said you were going to use me one last time before I abandoned you.”
“And I choked you too hard…”
“Sometimes if you both were angry enough the line would blur.”
Steve’s head hung knowing he was the culprit of most of your verbal sparring matches with him. He cringed every time he thought about the awful things he had said to you while drunk. 
Scooting closer to him, your hand reached out to grab his chin lifting his face so you could see his eyes. 
“I love you to.” The man sighed as your thumb caressed his bottom lip. “Show me the men you are now.”
When his lips connected with yours, you wanted to cry because for the first time in a long time you felt safe. Your tongues mingled together as his hips grinded down against yours eliciting a soft moan as you turned your head to find Eddie. Steve’s mouth continued to travel to your neck as he clung to you, your fingers threading through his hair as the metalhead leaned down to kiss the other side. 
Kisses and stolen touches were exchanged as clothes were removed, you not wanting them to be too far for very long as their lips refamiliarized them with your body. Lifting your legs open wide over both their hips, you mewled as their fingers ran delicately up your thighs. 
“This is what we should have done.”, Steve whispered in your ear. “We should have taken our time with you; made you feel more comfortable.”
“Made you feel good and help prepare you.”, Eddie added as he tenderly kissed your cheek and the side of your face. 
When his thick fingers slide into your core, your eyes rolled as your head dipped back. Both your palms ran along cocks and the sound of their groans in your ears had you clenching tightly around his digits. When Steve joined his friend and massaged fast circles into your clit, you knew you wouldn’t last long.
“Fuck, please. Just like that.”
They each grinded against you, desperate for relief as the sound of your slick filled the room as they picked up their pace. 
“That’s it, honey. Cum for us.”
“We got you, pretty girl.”
Your body trembled as you came, your lips searching for theirs as their fingers guided you through. 
“Fuck, that was sexy.”, Steve panted against your lips as he maneuvered himself on top of you. “Wait, fuck, do I need…I may have some condoms somewhere…”
“No. It’s ok. I’m still on the pill.”
Softly grinning down at you, he places a peck on your lips before trailing kisses along your cheek and to your ear. 
“We should have asked that first time. We didn’t even bother. We were so afraid you really were going to leave…”, he whispered. Reaching between your bodies, he gripped the base of his cock and gradually guided it into your core. “Oh my God, Y/N.”
Steve groans as your pussy stretches to accommodate his size and the memory of that evening smacks into you like a ton of bricks. 
“Steve, you’re so big. It won’t fit—”
“It will, honey, I promise…”
“Just go slow and keep talking to me.”
“No, no, baby. You’re ok. Eddie, fuck, can you—”
“Are you ok, sweetheart?”
“Hurts.”
“Hey, are you alright? I’m not hurting you, am I?”
Tears start to fall from your eyes but as the man lifts himself up to pull out and comfort you, you wrap your arms around him to hold him to you. 
“I’m ok. Don’t stop, please, and don’t stop talking to me. You feel so good… I just…I love you.”
His heart flutters at your admission every time he hears you say it. They both thought they had lost you forever and rightfully so but to know they have a chance… they weren’t going to waste it this time. 
Steve slowly began pumping his hips, relishing the feeling of you clinging to him again. 
“I love you to, baby. This is how I should have taken you that first time, nice, slow, and—fuck—so deep. Your pussy so fucking tight as it pulls me in. I can feel you everywhere, Y/N, you’re so warm and wet. You take my cock so well…such a good girl.”
Your eyes rolled as you clenched at the name. With anyone else you had been with you never allowed them to play rough or tell you things like how good of a girl you were or anything like that. It reminded you of them and truth be told you only really believed it when they said it. You didn’t want to push them but you wanted them to know it was ok to be a bit more passionate when it came to you. 
“I’m your good girl?”, you whimper making him moan. 
“Fuck, yeah, honey. You’re our good girl.”
“Then fuck me like a good girl deserves, Steve.” As his head falls between your neck and shoulder, your fingers cling to his hair as he thrusts his cock into you a bit harder than before. “That’s it. Just like that.”
Your eyes swiveled to look for Eddie, finding him beside you both stroking his length as he waited. The sight drove you wild as the other man moved at a faster rhythm, pounding into that sensitive spot inside you that had your jaw going slack. 
“Please…please, Steve. I’m gonna cum.”
Reaching for your hands, he pinned them above your head as he held them in his own, intertwining his fingers with yours as he sucked little marks on to your neck. 
The coil in your belly snapped as you repeatedly moaned his name, his lips hastily meeting yours to swallow your moans as he chased his high. 
“Can I swallow your cum, baby? Please?”
He doesn’t respond as his eyes stare into your own but as his hips sputter he quickly pulls out of you and crawls up your body to push his dick into your awaiting mouth. His fingers tangle in your hair as you bob your head and he mewls as he spills his release down your throat. 
As he backs away from you, you sit up and kiss his lips, his palms cupping your face as he holds you close to him. After caressing his cheek and silently assuring him you were alright, you shimmed your way to the metalhead and wrapped your arms around his neck as he adjusted himself till you were sitting on top of him straddling his waist. 
“It was my first time with the woman I loved and I didn’t even get to see your face.”, Eddie murmured as his hands traveled down your sides to rest on your thighs. “I barely even checked in to make sure you were ok.”
As he spoke, you continued to look down at him as you dragged your pussy lips along his cock.
“I should have had you on top of me just like this so I could see you and you could see me. See that beautiful face scrunch right here when you slide me in.” He smiles when you giggle as he pokes your forehead. “Fuck, Y/N, I missed a lot of things but nothing more than your laugh, sweetheart.”
Your heart skipped a beat as you tilted down to kiss his lips and his palms clung to the base of your neck as you guided your hips down onto his length. 
“I love you, Eddie.”
“Mmm—I love you to, pretty girl.” Subtly bouncing on top of him, you both mewled as his tip hit that soft spot repeatedly. “There you go, princess. Still so fucking tight.”
Your eyes searched his face as he licked his lips and arched his neck, the veins along his throat making you moan. 
“Spank me.”, you plead as your nose grazes his. “I promise it’s ok.”
His eyes fully open, meeting your own as you place his hands on your behind. Gauging your reaction, he kneads your meaty flesh as he guides your movements.
“Fuck, baby. You look so sexy riding my dick. Make yourself cum. I want to feel your pussy squeezing me.”
Bouncing as hard as you can, your head falls on his shoulder as his palm spanks your ass and he feels your warm breath heat his skin. 
“A-Again, Eddie. Just like that.”
Ring laced fingers take hold of the back of your neck as his other arm circles around your waist to hold you still as he plants his feet and thrusts up into you meeting your motions with a hard one of his own. 
“Like that, Y/N? That the spot? I know, sweetheart, I got you.”
That wasn’t the first time he had ever said those words to you but this was the first time you ever believed him. 
“Say it again.”
His head turned slightly to kiss your temple as he softly murmured his last sentence till you tumbled over the ledge and he spanked you again as he helped you ride your high. Leaning back on your knees, he followed you and you hugged his head to your chest as you rolled your hips till you felt him warm your insides. 
His lips roamed your skin as he guided your sweaty bodies on your sides. A second set of welcomed kisses glided along your shoulder blade as you felt yourself slowly drift off into bliss. 
###############
1982
“Fuck, why am I nervous? We’ve known her since like 4th grade.”, Steve hyped himself up as they sat outside your door in his car. 
“Yeah, but this is different. We’ve never looked at her that way before and vice versa.”, Eddie sighed.
“I mean…I always thought she was beautiful. I just…what would a perfect girl like that want with an asshole like me?”
“Steve, you’re not a…well you’re a little bit of an asshole.”, the metalhead teases making his friend laugh. “I get it though. She’s perfect to me to and deserves more than some trailer trash felon’s kid.”
As his hands begin to shake, he reaches into his leather jacket for his pack of cigarettes.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m ok. I just haven’t had a hit all day and I’m jumpy. I wanted to be sober for our first date with her.”
Steve smiled at his friend as he flashes him his jacket pocket. 
“Same. No flask or any alcohol.” Eddie nodded as he patted the man’s shoulder. “You’re not trailer trash, Munson. I hope you know that. You’ve been my best friend to and I’ve never once seen you that way. I love ya, man.”
“Aw. I love you to, Harrington.”, he replies in a high pitch sing song voice before glancing out the window. “Thank you. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys.”
Grinning, they both hop out of the car and knock on your door, their jaws dropping when you greet them in a beautiful blue dress they had never seen on you before. 
“Wow, you two look handsome.”
“We don’t look half as good as you. Oh my god.”, Steve compliments making you blush. 
Eddie extends his arm like he had seen so many times in movies, his smile widening when you loop your own through it and lean over to kiss his cheek. 
#############
You woke up to the sound of beeping as your eyes opened in search of the noise. Steve groaned as he rolled over, blindly searching before holding up his watch, and pushing the button to silence it. 
“Do you have to go to work?”, you whisper, smiling when he shakes his head and turns back onto his side reminding you of the little boy who used to do sleep overs with you in elementary school. 
As you try to face him as well, you realize a tattooed arm is laying across your chest and glance over to see Eddie on his tummy with his messy hair blocking his face. Tenderly, you reach over to move it to the side, rousing him from sleep as he scrunches his nose and blinks before pulling you closer to him till his nose was pressed against your cheek. 
The first time you met him his hair was extremely short and he had bruises everywhere. When he came to your house, you could tell he felt out of place but you extended your hand and allowed him to hold it if he felt uncomfortable. Those first couple of times he stayed over, you would wake up with the back of his palm near yours. 
Fingers tracing your skin bring you back to the present as your eyes meet Steve’s and he smiles as he runs them up your arm and down your stomach. Your breathing hitches when you feel the tips along the scar on your stomach. 
“Does it still hurt?”
“Sometimes…when it rains or snows… or when I dream about it…” His amber eyes scan your face as you continue. “Those are the two experiences I think about a lot still. You two screaming at each other before leaving me and finding Eddie ODed…”
The man’s thumb caressed your skin as he kissed your skin.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“I meant what I said before that night two years ago. I forgive you both. This past week just hearing and seeing how far you two have come… I loved you both so much but I never felt safe. Last night and right now… I feel like it’s finally safe for me to let go and trust you again. If you want that…if you want me…”
Eddie’s lips abruptly crash to your own before kissing your nose and up to your forehead. 
“I love you so much, Y/N. I will always want you, baby. I promise you ARE safe with me. I got you.”
Steve lightly grips your chin, turning you to face him as he kisses your lips as well. 
“I love you, honey, and you are all I’ve ever wanted. You’re safe with me to and you both are more than welcome to stay here or we can look for a bigger place. Whatever we have to do, I’m in.”
You held them both to you as the tears began to flow, thankful that your lives would no longer be trapped in memories but new beginnings with the two people you loved the most and loved you. 
################
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evelynn-writes-nsft · 4 months
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It's weird, I was never into feminisation kink before I transitioned, but I'm into it now that I'm transitioned and femme and it's like ?????? When did this happen? I'm already femme and a woman, why is there part of my brain that wants to get toxically/manipulatively forcefemmed now...?
Suddenly I want a femme roommate who grips my chin and tells me to "Hold still" while she corrects my make-up and talks down to me about how I could be even prettier if I tried, and she'll show me how. I do my best to hold still for her, she asked nicely, and she's so helpful.
Then she scoffs at my dress and digs through her wardrobe and picks things out for me that are even more feminine than what I already wear. At first she dresses me to match her and isn't it so cute that we match now... but week by week my skirts get shorter, my necklines get lower while hers don't change; she starts to shake her head at how I'm dressing like a slut now, but it's her who's controlling how I dress, she's the one doing it.
And she starts showing me off in public, telling people I'm her girlfriend even though she's just my roommate, right? We're just friends sharing make-up and wardrobe tips, of course it's not like that! Yeah, she likes having her arm around my waist when we go out and she keeps me close if anyone looks at me, but that's not her being jealous or possessive. She's just being protective and a good friend. It's skinship, she tells me how pretty and confident I am now, I'm sure she's like this with all her friends. Why are people staring?
She takes me to the club and digs her fingers into my hips on the dancefloor and whispers in my ear how pretty I'd look with a collar, how perfectly it'd go with the minidress she's chosen for me tonight. She's got just the thing for me, what a lucky coincidence. She clasps it around my neck when we get back to our flat, then she hooks her fingers through the ring and guides me to her room. Just to help me take off my make-up, surely... but she doesn't guide me towards the dresser. How strange.
When she pushes me onto her bed and slides the dress up my hips, I finally put two and two together. I'm already so used to doing what she tells me that I barely even consider saying no; I've liked everything else she's done, and I'm already her doll. Of course my body belongs to her like this too. What she wants has always been good for me.
When her teeth dig too hard into my inner thigh, I squirm and beg and fist my hands in her sheets.
She reminds me to "Hold still".
And I do my best to hold still for her — she always asks nicely.
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ironunderstands · 2 months
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Don’t attack me but I really like radioapple, I think it’s so funny, but I could never see it genuinely becoming a relationship. However I must say that stupid rivalry, to stupid rivalry with begrudging respect is a top 10 character dynamic, and Alastor/Lucifer execute it perfectly.
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gyuaesp · 3 months
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in every universe mingyu x reader
genres: angst, heartbreak, right person wrong time, not proofread (sorry… huhu)
wc: 307
just something small i wanted to write at 5 am :)) my mind was awake and i couldn’t think of anything else but to shed it onto some words. short one, but hope you like it hehe :D
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would mingyu be the man who’d die for you? yes. he would do anything to be loved by your whole heart.
it’s been years since you two broke up, but oh how he loved.
how he missed the days where you laid next to him. how he wished you had just understood how he felt in the time you met the version of mingyu that he regrets you ever did.
mingyu has constant reminders in his life.
the polaroids he still has hanging on his wall. the flowers he planned to give you on your anniversary slowly withering away in the antique vase with evaporating water.
it was you who he waits for. it was you who helped remind himself what he wants in his life. a marriage, a family, a soul full with joy from seeing his lover happy right next to him.
mingyu hated his job.
he hated how he couldn’t flaunt off his own girlfriend in public.
he hated how he had to always tell you to wear black and cover your face during so-called date nights.
he hated, hated, hated it.
the one thing he only regrets in his life is letting you go.
not taking the risk to be in love.
unable to make the leap and ruin his career to feel alive. not bearing to lighten up his world by being with the girl of his dreams.
in the little time you two had, mingyu wished that he spent it more with you.
he wished he didn’t shun you off and go to the studio.
he wished, and wished, and wished—but nothing worked.
that was when mingyu learned he’d never see you again. not in this lifetime, nor the others.
in every universe, you end up falling for kim mingyu.
and in every universe, it never ends well.
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writterings · 2 years
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the thing about wwdits is that you don't want guillermo and nandor to get together. but yes you do <3 it's like. they will be so toxic for each other. they have tried to kill each other. nandor has joked about letting guillermo get killed multiple times. he constantly puts him down. he locked him in a cage in a basement for a full month and only fed him raw chicken. he literally broke every bone in his body once (by accident).
but then guillermo like. has so many chances to leave. he's a pro vampire hunter. he literally escaped the basement cage the first day he was there but kept going back to it so he could clean the vampires' house when they were asleep and so they were thinking they did a good job. he calls nandor and all the vampires family but then at the same time lets the camera crew and audience know that he could kill them at any chance. he has several vampire-killing weapons all over the house and on his person. he kidnapped nandor once and also regularly emotionally manipulates him and nadja. he has openly admitted his attachment to the vampires and nandor isn't healthy but he literally doesn't care.
but then they do obviously care about each other. like nandor got guillermo a sparkly painting of them together. he thought guillermo was having diarrhea one time and just barged into the bathroom to help him??? he stands up for guillermo sometimes and constantly insists that he's a bodyguard, not a familiar. he calls him his friend and gets sad when guillermo leaves. he doesn't let him get killed by the vampiric council. he refuses to turn him into a vampire because he sees it as a curse and he cares too much about guillermo to do that to him. he calls him a little rascal. and guillermo is just obsessed with nandor and has appointed himself as his "heart guard". he sleeps with a stuffed toy of nandor that he made.
like. their relationship is genuinely like nothing i've ever seen before in mainstream media. it's not even about the gay aspect. its just, they're both so unhinged and so cruel to each other sometimes but they literally just put up with it because they're gay and insane and obsessed with each other but also hate each other at the same time. love wins <3
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inconclusionray · 6 months
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If I see one more "poor Izzy was in an abusive relationship for twenty years :'(" take I'm going to set this pirate ship on fire.
#you don't get to erase the gorgeous fucked up mutual toxicity of their consent-free sadomasochist trauma survival relationship on MY watch#they SAVED EACH OTHER and MADE EACH OTHER and FUCKED EACH OTHER UP and it was so so bad it was sooooo gooooooooood#like i know disk horse has trained us to think there can only be The Abuser and The Abused and one is always bad and one is always blameless#but babies sometimes relationships are fucked up and when it's fictional it can be so gorgeous like come on#izzy got so hard when fed his toe I'm surprised he didn't have an aneurysm and die right then#if you're gonna claim him as queer then let him be QUEER not an uwu sanitized self insert okay?#he was fine with losing his toe he wasn't fine with losing his playmate#and blackbeard came back WRONG#this thing the two of them created this fucked up dangerous pirate game called blackbeard wasn't about belonging anymore#it wasn't about the two of them surviving the cruelty of their former captain or the worse cruelty of civilized society#it was a caricature and it had to die#and it did in the end#and Izzy realized he didn't need it anymore#and Ed didn't need it#and he was so so happy about it#that was worth dying for#ugh I'm so in love with this story#anyway Izzy wasn't abused & he was abused & he was an abuser & he saved Edward & they were so bad for each other & they loved each other#learn to love complicated fucked up harmful problematic things babies#because you are one#and you deserve love too
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katherineholmes · 8 months
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The reason I love Klaus being possessive is that he’s never saying things like “why are you attempting to attract someone else’s attention” but rather is all “how dare he look at someone who’s mine?”
It’s still toxic as fuck, cause he is objectifying his partner (as is seen with Cami in s1) but it’s the reason his possessiveness is tolerable (personally hot if also a bit disturbing). He’s also capable of changing, as we see again with Cami in s3, to an extent. Still possessive but less paranoid/murderous.
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misstycloud · 1 year
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Yandere prisoner HC
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Imagine a yandere prisoner who had been locked inside one of the most notorious prisons in the world. His crimes succeeds any other and he was heavily punished by being left to rot away inside his cold cell.
There he sits shackled to the dirty ground for years on end. The long metal chain was still long enough to walk around, but they were restraints no less to make sure he stayed out. Without any sort of entertainment exceeding his own thoughts, which weren’t so bad if they were filled of you.
You were his only solace, his light, his love; the one person to bring him a share of harmony. When he was scorned by people, you stood at his side. When he was mistreated, you tended to him and healed the wounds. When they called him a liar, you believed him.
Oh how he wished to be out there together with you, never to be separated.
The reality was harsh, and he had no choice but to face it head on; he was confined in a dusty cell, while you were outside living in the sun that he hadn’t gotten a glimpse of for years now.
The criminal has made numerous attempts of escaping his penitentiary but none were successful and remained stuck, without a way to see you. It took a great toll on him, not getting to be in your presence for so long.
He wondered how you were doing. Did you buy a nice house? Do you have a pet that you love dearly? Perhaps you’ve finally managed to get your hands on that rare limited edition tea-set you always wanted but never succeeded in purchasing.
He thought he wouldn’t see you again in this life, but hope came to him in time. The guard mainly tasked in keeping a watchful eye on him had aged beyond capability of continuing his duties. He retired with in turn meant they’d have to replace him with someone new and much younger.
The new guard was all too pompous for the prisoner’s liking. He didn’t take his superior’s warnings seriously and strutted about the place as if he owned it, along with mocking him every chance he got. The older prison guard did nothing akin to that. The most he did was to stare silently at him in suspicion, which was honestly more preferred.
One day during the lunch hour, the guard had come to deliver his food. Because he was a special case he wasn’t allowed to access the cafeteria like you would normally be able to in a prison. As the guard went with insulting him, he kicked the food bowl through the small hatch on the side, making it spill out on the filthy floor.
Laughing he said, ‘You gonna eat up like the animal you are? It’s more than you deserve.’ then he continued cackling.
The prisoner noticed his distracted state and used it to his advantage. Quickly he lunged forward, too fast for the slow guard and reached his arms through the bars and grabbed a hold of the other individual, choking him in the process.
He begged for his life; he didn’t want it to end in that rusty place. Funny, the prisoner thought because that was exactly what would have become of him had the other man not been to stupid. He squeezed his arm around his neck and choked him to death, enjoying how he clawed at him to let go while tears streamed down his face.
When he was dead, he fished out the keys from the pocket in his pants and unlocked the door and freed himself of his shackles. It was lucky this section only had him and not anyone else. They thought that limiting his contact with people would give a less likelihood of him escaping, or at least thinking about it.
It didn’t work.
Taking his first steps outside imprisonment he relished in the liberty, stretching his limbs thoroughly. Now he must get passed every other obstacles and out into the real world. That wouldn’t be all to hard, he speculated.
After that, the only thing left was you. Just you wait calmly for him, no need to stress. He’ll be there soon.
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justmeinadaze · 5 months
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Halsey Masterlist (Toxic Steddie X You)
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A story of addiction and recovery through Halsey songs.
PLEASE READ EACH CONTENT WARNING WITH EACH STORY!
-In order of events-
Him & I
Without Me
You Should Be Sad
Finally/ Beautiful Stranger
Colors (Coming soon)
Ghost (Coming Soon)
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