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#wizard of the pines
horsesarecreatures · 1 year
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The Pine Barrens
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plantsonplutoart · 2 months
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here’s Wolfstar being a couple of menaces and driving James up the wall while he’s trying to study (he’s only “studying” in the library in attempt to impress lily, so no harm done)
I’ve been hoarding a bunch of Marauders scribbles I’ll probably never clean up so expect more incoherent chaos
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solemnpancake · 1 year
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While the idea of Xenk in Honour Among Thieves being a DMPC or an NPC is funny, I’m much more a fan of the idea that he’s actually a PC controlled by somebody else who played a full campaign with the same DM. Because meta textually, I can clearly imagine the conversation between the DM and Xenk’s player:
DM: “…So yeah I kinda fucked up the CR’s of the Underdark encounters but my current group is super excited and determined to head down there and since Xenk was already down there before…dude please help me, one session.”
Xenk’s Player: “I dunno, Xenk’s character arc felt pretty complete to me…”
DM: “Wait…The Red Wizards are the bad guys of this campaign too! You can finally settle the score with that asshole Dralas!”
Xenk’s Player: “…You sonnuvabitch, I’m in.”
DM: “YES! Oh also, Edgin’s-the Bard’s-backstory has him being a former Harper, so I have some ideas on how you could drive him nuts…”
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loveeari · 9 months
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remus not looking up from his book: what did he do now james: HE SMILED remus: at you? james: no at his dumb friends but HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL remus: go away james james: shut up i watched you pine over sirius for years let me have this remus: go on
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chaikachi · 10 months
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Quick outfit swap for two wizard boys. I think they'd make good friends. 🥰
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whoopseydaisy · 4 months
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An addition to the cocktail chapter of the @worldsbeyondpod Unofficial Cookbook:
Honey With A Note Of Song
an absinthe wash (the green fairy, for your roots)
2 oz. rye (your liquor of choice, strong and spicy)
1/4 oz. pine and rosemary honey syrup (you cannot go home again)
1 barspoon of saline solution (for your first divine smite, where you found your breath once more)
1-2 dashes of peychauds bitters (because this is a play on a sazerac)
a grapefruit twist (a touch of the bitterness age has brought you)
serve in a glass reminiscent of a chalice
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blueironywrites · 2 days
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Title: Longing
Rating: M
Summary: Remus and Sirius really are two sides of the same coin when it comes to their feelings.
Word count: 272
May prompts from @wolfstarmicrofic. Chosen prompt: mutual pining
**********
"You want me to what?" Remus turned to Lily in horror.
She could not be serious. She could not have honestly suggested that Remus go over and confess his feelings for Sirius.
Shy, awkward, chocolate-obssessed Remus who always has a nose in his book and too many scars to count, should go and confess his feelings for Sirius. Sirius, whose eyes shone when he threw his head back in laughter, whose smile could make Remus's heart skip a beat, whose shirt had fallen open to reveal the smooth skin of his collarbone that made Remus want to walk over and...
Remus flushed.
"Just forget it," he said, sadly. "He'll never think of me that way."
He continued staring across the room at Sirius, who was deep in conversation with James, and ignored the long sigh next to him.
+++
"I could never do it, Prongs," Sirius said as he contemplated what James had asked him to do.
How could he confess his feelings to Remus? How could he, reckless, dangerous, broken, most-detentions-in-a-month Sirius speak his heart to Remus?
Remus. Kind, beautiful Remus, whose raspy voice made Sirius's heart race, whose eyes shone when he smiled, whose mussy hair had a stray curl hanging loose that made Sirius want to walk over and...
Sirius flushed.
"He only sees me as his best mate," he said, miserably.
Sirius continued to stare longingly across the common room at Remus, absently hearing James let out a long, slow breath.
+++
"How can they be so stupid?" Lily asked James in wonder, later that evening.
James laughed. "They've been this way for years. You eventually get used to it."
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starchaserdreams · 6 months
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My fics on AO3
Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.
Jegulus/Starchaser
Temptation Eyes (Now Complete!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.
Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.
How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?
But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus
Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.
I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.
Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.
Prongsfoot/Bambibelle
What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.
The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.
A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.
The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)
The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)
Wolfstar
Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love
6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.
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lulublack90 · 2 days
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Prompt 12 - Mutual Pining
@wolfstarmicrofic May 12, word count 618
Remus sighed deeply as he watched Sirius jumping across the Gryffindor table during lunch, scattering tureens of peas everywhere as he tried to escape Lily and her wand. 
“Not fast enough, Black!” She called and then Sirius was hiccuping bubbles. Remus sighed again. How could anyone still look as good as Sirius did with bubbles escaping from their lips? It made his heart ache to think how much he wanted to be with Sirius. To stroke his fingers along those sharp cheekbones. To taste his lips. To feel the muscles he knew lurked beneath Sirius’s robes. But Sirius was his best friend, and he knew he should stop thinking about him in that way. But he couldn’t. 
Sirius sulked for the remainder of the afternoon, and after a quick trip to see Madam Pomfrey, the flow of bubbles from his mouth stopped. 
“I told you not to keep going, mate.” James snorted as he patted his head. “You don’t mess with Evans.” 
James had been entirely unhelpful in his argument with Lily Evans. He hadn’t even cared that it was about his things being all over the common room. He would have gladly picked them up and apologised. It was that she’d ordered him to pick them up. Her tone had been exactly the same as his mother's, so he’d responded as such. However, his mother had never made bubbles spew from his mouth, so they differed there. He wasn’t going to pick up his quills and parchment though, on principle. 
Remus was sitting in front of him in charms, so Sirius stared longingly at him, trying to take his mind off everything else.
Remus was rubbing the back of his neck, trying to loosen a knot. The full moon was only a few days away and Sirius knew how sore he got. 
Sirius wanted nothing more than to get his hands on Remus’s neck and massage the pain away. But Remus would never allow that. 
He’d kept a distance between them since the beginning of the year, and it was breaking Sirius’s heart. He’d secretly been in love with Remus for a while now and not being allowed near him made him want to pull his hair out. Maybe he’d just try his luck later and massage Remus’s neck like he wanted to. 
Remus was uncomfortable. He couldn’t quite get the right angle or pressure to relieve the knot in his neck. He’d gone upstairs hoping a bath would help. But it hadn’t. He sat on his bed leaning as far forward as he could, his fingers uselessly pressing the wrong spot. 
The dorm room door opened and Sirius walked in. Remus watched as Sirius came closer and hopped up behind him on his bed and propped himself up on Remus's pillows. Remus tried to turn, but Sirius wrapped his arms around his chest and hauled him against his own. 
“Sirius!” Remus protested. But then Sirius got his hands on Remus’s neck and all the protest left him. He groaned loudly at the perfect pressure Sirius’s fingers exerted. The knot soon came loose, and he collapsed back onto Sirius’s chest, ignoring his own rules about not revealing how much he wanted to be like this with Sirius all the time and just enjoying the moment. He held in a sigh as Sirius's fingers accidentally stroked down his arm. 
Too soon, James came bounding in, closely followed by Peter.  Sirius carefully extracted himself from Remus and went to brush his teeth. Remus could have sworn he saw a happy smile creeping across Sirius’s face, but he didn’t think any more about it as he relaxed into his bed. For the first time in two days he was comfortable. 
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wolfstargazer · 3 days
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12th May - Mutual Pining - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 421
It was hot. It was airless. The scent of parchment, and dusty tapestries, and sunbaked flagstones clung to everything.
Sirius lay, one hand resting on his stomach, shirt unbutton past his collar bone, listening to the sound of the water of the Great Lake lapping langourously at the shore. His eyes were closed, orange pin-pricked with stars beneath his eyelids, listening as Lily tried, and failed to patiently explain it to James one last time.
"I'm never going to get this."
"You will," Lily insisted.
James hmphed and in his mind's eyes Sirius pictured him push his glasses up his nose before he said, "I'm worried that all this cramming is just pushing all the stuff I do know out of my head."
"But maybe if I just explain it one more time..."
"Give it up, Evans. Please do us all a favour and just enjoy the sun."
There was what Sirius interpreted as a furious silence. Sure enough, Sirius opened one eye and saw Lily scowling in his direction.
That was before James reached out, pulled Lily into his arms, and planted an impromptu kiss on her cheek.
Lily's scowl melted despite herself before she laughed and pushed him away.
"Where's Remus anyway?" Lily asked, smoothing down her hair and casting her eyes back up the path towards the castle. "We could do with someone to restore some sense to this so-called study session."
"That's him coming now," James said, nodding.
Sirius felt the tell-tale flutter in his stomach which he suppressed, shielding his eyes from the sun and looking over to where Remus was walking towards them.
He recognised the gait, wide and slightly lilting. He saw Remus' eyes narrow into a smile, wrinkled at the edges, as he spotted his friends at the lakeside and gave a wave. His sleeves were rolled over his elbows. It was so warm that even Remus, who keenly felt the cold, made this concession to the heat. Sirius saw as he drew closure the muscles of his forearms, his skin slightly tanned from the weeks of good weather.
Remus greeted them and sat down beside them. Siririus watched the slight bead of sweat roll from Remus' brow to his cheek and disappear round the curve of his neck. 
Remus turned, sensing Sirius watching, and Sirius passed his hand over his forehead, rubbing his eyes wearily before saying with an affected yawn, "Good of you to join us, Mr Moony. Now test Lily on her Arithmancy before she makes poor Prongs' brain capsize."
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grigori77 · 1 year
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Reasons to LOVE Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves
It's brand new in cinemas, so there are still plenty who ain't seen it, so if you're among 'em best skip this and just GO SEE IT, it's SO well worth it, genuinely it's one of the best new movies I've seen so far this year. Hope you love it as much as I did!
So, yeah, there you go - SPOILER WARNING, FOLKS!!! If you don't wanna get spoiled, RUN!!!
Still here? Okay, here we go then ...
This really is, UNAPOLOGETICALLY, a comedy. I mean yeah, this is a classic fantasy action adventure in the Willow, Krull or Ladyhawke mold, but it is also very enthusiastically POKING FUN at the classic conventions of the genre ... albeit CLEARLY done with great affection and love for the material, as only the best lampoons can be. So this is more The Princess Bride or Galaxy Quest than Your Highness or Spaceballs ...
Chris Pine is ALWAYS at his best when he's being FUNNY, so he is PERFECT here. Edgin is most definitely a bit of a douchebag, but he's the sweetest, most lovable douchebag you'll ever encounter.
Holga. Literally just EVERYTHING about Holga. She's my favourite character in this, this REALLY IS the best role that Michelle Rodriguez has EVER HAD, if you ask me. She's a total badass, a truly AMAZING FIGHTER, but I love that despite her dour demeanour she's actually quite sweet, gentle and really a great innocent in many ways. She's an absolute cinammon roll and must be protected at all costs.
OH MY GODS!!! All the easter eggs, SO MANY easter eggs ... FAR too many to count throughout, all the references and nods and winks to the game itself, all the spells and races and creatures and stuff ... but I love how the movie NEVER beats you over the head pointing any of it out, it just lets you enjoy it. So the proper fans will get a huge kick out of spotting it all, but casual viewers will just enjoy it as rich worldbuilding colour and flavour.
Seriously though, it's a D&D fan's DREAM!!! Not just the mimic, or the owlbear, or the gelatinous cube! SO MUCH to spot ...
Justice Smith's Simon gets THE CLEVEREST and best introduction in the film, I love the theatre scene, he's SO BAD at this while also simulataneously being really great. Totally sums up this gloriously clunky hot mess of a sorcerer ...
the opening is GENIUS, totally sets the movie up as it means to go on - the parole hearing is a brilliant comedic take on the scene-setting infodump which is brilliantly carried through in the way the movie delivers exposition in a fun way or just lets you absorb it through what's happening in each scene. This is the perfect, TEXTBOOK way to do it.
"That is one pudgy dragon!" LOL
Doric. Just EVERYTHING about Doric. Sophia Lillis' tiefling druid is a wonderful diminutive little action hero, so fiesty and capable. I love her. It's just a shame she's not primary coloured, I'd have loved it even more if she'd been blue, or red ...
The Wildshape Escape! XD Yeah, I love that, that's THE BEST set-piece in the whole movie, definitely, when Doric gets cught out spying and has to shapeshift on the fly to get away, and it all plays out in one immersive single shot that just leaves your heart in your mouth ...
Oh, the Speak With The Dead montage, that is comedy GOLD. Funniest scene in the whole movie. And with added payoff at the end! XD
Rege-Jean Page's Xenk Yendar. Oh boy, that paladin is something else. I love how LITERAL he is, he's like Drax in GOTG but much more intelligent. Y'know when Holga says: "You're not a lot of fun, are you?" to him? She's so wrong. I just wish there was more of him in this ...
The heist! Oh, the heist! So good ... the portal trick, it's great, love the way they did that, and then that HILARIOUS bard illusion distraction - Pine skipping the song like a broken record was just chef's kiss!
That wonderful wibbly-wobbly illusory reality thing whenever Simon tries to atune to the Helm ... wow, that is some spectacularly trippy shit. Granted, twice is fine for terms of pacing, but I could've done with a few more scenes of that, it's fascinating.
Hugh Grant really has just become a MASTER at playing smarmy, slimy duplicitous gits now, hasn't he? Forge is a reprehensible prick and I love it.
I love how they made Bradley Cooper a halfling for his cameo. They're never gonna let him live down the fact that he's now probably best known for playing a two-foot-tall talking racoon so forever after he will be a Short King.
Wow, Daisy Head's Sofina is a CRACKING villain, she's just SO CREEPY!!! I love how coolly menacing she is, a brilliant dark necromantic wizard that just makes your skin crawl. Especially at the end ... IS SHE a lich? Is that what they were doing there?
That whole big action climax, the showdown in the city centre is FIRE!!! It's so amazing, so brilliantly dynamic, with EVEN MORE great easter eggs! Simon and Sofina having an insanely awesome "arm wrestling" bout with Mage Hand versus Earthen Grasp (I think that's the spell, couldn't be sure), oh my gods! So cool ... and then the way they neutralised the threat! Brilliant.
Chloe Coleman's Kira is an absolutely adorable delight, and I think she's ENTIRELY JUSTIFIED in how pissed she is at Edgin for abandoning her. It makes the payoff when they finally make up so much better.
And that resurrection scene at the end? Yeah, sure, I saw that coming a mile off, but it was so well done, and they played it so well, that it was still SUCH a powerful scene even so. Just perfect.
Seriously, they just did this whole thing SO PERFECTLY. It's visually STUNNING, really it just looks AMAZING, and the action sequences are BRILLIANT but always feel entirely necessary for the story, which is how you want to do it. Best of all, though, is THE PACING!!! This is such a quick, breezy film, it just barrels along at a spectacular clip, so it never drags. Mark Kermode is right, even though this is two and a quarter hours long it doesn't FEEL LIKE IT, it feels like a super-trim 90-minute movie.
And it ties everything off nice and neat, too. Sure, there are definitely possibilities for the future, going forward if they make more, but if the movie DOES tank then it's fine, because this really does do a great job about feeling self-contained and telling its own complete story, so if we DON'T get more it won't be too big a disappointment ...
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jamespotterbbg · 2 days
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may 11 - mutual pining - @wolfstarmicrofic - 163 words
“Oh my god, Prongs, he will never like me back,” Sirius moaned and groaned, falling dramatically onto the bed, next to James.
“Mhm,” James hummed, only partially listening.
Sirius fell into his lap dramatically and James sighed. He stroked Sirius’s hair and looked down at the other boy, “I’m sure he will, Padfoot.”
Sirius made a face and buried his face in James’s lap. James rolled his eyes and thought back to the conversation he’d had with Remus earlier that day.
“James, if Sirius doesn’t stop looking so… ugh… pretty in his uniform, I’m going to kill someone,” Remus had slammed his head down on the table while he tried to study.
“Why don’t you like him that you like him?” James had suggested.
Remus had looked at him incredulously, “You know he will never like me back,” he declared, turning back to his essay, muttering under his breath.
“I’m sure he will,” James had mumbled, only to repeat it three hours later.
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Tomarry AU with fake dating but not because of a rebound, no. It's because of the money. Yes, an au with Tom and Harry having a YouTube channel together. A couple YouTube channel. Yep. It's not like they like each other — oh no. It's strictly business. After all, it is a lucrative business deal — and that is true because they do take the dating world of YouTube by storm. (That was the plan anyway; pesky feelings are below me anyways. — Tom Riddle, in the mirror, at 3 am.)
An AU where both of them are roommates and due to shortage of funds decide to open a YouTube channel together. Especially after seeing how Abraxas' beauty blog was so successful, and so was Ron's gaming channel. An AU where they start a prank channel that end up becoming a dating channel because everyone thinks they are dating. And because Tom and Harry don't do anything in half's; they decide to milk it as much as they can. To them it was their best idea to date. Or a decision they would both come to regret. (Like Tom? No way, he is my business partner and Tom would kill him before he ever dated him. — Harry Potter, to himself, monologuing the same thing, for the hundredth time that day.)
Basically an AU where they both end up falling for each other and being in denial while doing YouTube videos as a COUPLE, and freaking out everytime they have to do couple-y stuff.
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gelatosushix · 17 days
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Wizard!Toge trying to entice his dumb childhood friend, innkeeper!Yuta into *finally* making a move on him
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keldae · 1 month
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Musings
Gale couldn't remember the last time he had slept with someone – spending his time asleep wrapped in a lover's arms had been before Mystra. He hadn't ever needed to sleep when he was with his goddess in her realm, and she would never have come to the mortal planes to spend an entire night with him. So sharing his bedroll now was… unusual.
Not a bad type of unusual, he admitted to himself. But still unusual. And it was even more unusual that he hadn't had relations with his bed partner yet – that hadn't ever been a situation he'd found himself in, during the years before Mystra.
But then, with the orb in his chest… having sex was out of the question.
Unable to shut his mind off, he propped his head up on his pillow, looking down at the half-Elf who had stolen his blankets, and was trying to steal his heart. Devi was dead to the world, squished tightly against Gale's side, coppery hair loose around her head. Gale smiled fondly down at the little half-Elf, watching as a few strands of her hair moved with every slow breath past her parted lips. 
What are you seeing in your dreams tonight, Devi? he thought, gazing down at the thief. Hopefully her dreams were pleasant tonight. He didn't think she'd had a bad nightmare since they'd started sleeping together in the Underdark – he definitely had had pleasant dreams while sharing his tent and bedroll with her. Are you in Baldur's Gate, thriving as a little thief? Or are you thinking of the halfling and the dwarves from the book we read tonight? She had seemed to enjoy the story he had read to her.
Devi shifted slightly, rolling onto her side, facing Gale. Before he was quite aware of it, he was reaching to gently brush the loose strands of hair out of her face, tucking the locks behind one delicately pointed ear. His thumb touched her lips, slowly tracing the outline of her mouth. For a moment, he felt an unspeakable yearning for the woman sleeping beside him. If her thoughts during their lesson in the Weave were any indication, she wanted to kiss Gale, despite his affliction – and gods knew he desperately wanted to give her that kiss. He wanted to know what it would feel like to press his lips against hers, to let his tongue meet her own, to taste her mouth and breathe in her exhales as he fulfilled the vision she had shared with him of a kiss…
He closed his eyes, trying to force his mind away from the dangerous thoughts of kissing the woman with him. He'd spent the last year struggling to stabilise the orb – he couldn't risk his mental discipline failing him now. If he killed them all because of letting himself think too much, too enthusiastically, of kissing a beautiful girl… He wanted to groan in frustration.
Except that would have woken Devi up. He settled for silently scolding himself instead. Get a grip, Dekarios!
Besides, Devi wouldn't – couldn't – truly love a broken man like Gale was. He was older than she was, by quite a few years – and in trying to keep up with her youthful half-Elven exuberance, he definitely felt every tenday of his age in comparison to her. And he was irreparably broken, only a shadow of the man and wizard he had been a year and a half ago. He was the reject of a goddess, damned by his own foolishness, and doomed to meet an explosive end alone. 
In comparison, Devi was young, and full of life and fire and optimism. She had had a poor start in life – any child born poor in the Lower City of Baldur's Gate had a disadvantage. But she was smart, and stubborn, and if she was given the correct support, she could exceed any expectations for a girl born as a poor urchin. Maybe, Gale thought, he could leave a note leaving his wealth to her after he met his unavoidable end? Or he could just give her the key to his tower in Waterdeep before he inevitably had to leave the party to die somewhere safer. If she could cure her tadpole, maybe she could live on, somewhere safer than Baldur's Gate. And it would be a good use for the money and wealth he had, rather than leaving it all to rot. It wasn’t like Tara would really be able to use it, after all.
But he digressed. Devi was too young for him to pursue romantically, too vibrant, too lively to tie herself to a damned man. In another life, if they had ever even crossed paths, they would never have given each other a second thought (unless Devi had identified him as a pickpocketing target… which, Gale knew she would have targeted him in a heartbeat.). Even if he hadn't been damned, they were in entirely different social circles. Imagine the scandal, if he were to return to Waterdeep with an uneducated, uncouth, younger Baldurian thief, and one who could swear like a well-educated mercenary at that, as his lover! 
Gale grinned for a moment, imagining the reactions of some of his more class-conscious peers. His amusement faded with a sigh as he looked back down at Devi. You don't deserve as grim a fate as tying yourself to me would give you, he thought. You're too alive and hopeful to bind yourself to a broken, damned man. In another life, one where he wasn't a walking explosive, he might have still taken her to bed, trying to perhaps prove that being this much older than her just meant he was more experienced with pleasing a lover. And he was pretty certain he had pleased Mystra when he was the goddess’s lover – he could have wowed Devi with his command of the Weave in bed. He had already impressed her with their magic lesson after the tiefling party, and that had been tame! What he could have done behind a sound dampening ward to blow her away and make her cry out his name in bliss, over and over again…
Speaking of blowing away, he firmly turned his thoughts away from the idea of bedding Devi, thinking about spell incantations instead. The orb rumbled in his chest, but remained calm for the moment as his heart settled back down.
With another sigh, he stroked Devi's hair back from her face again. Where will your mind take you tonight? Will you dream of me? You really shouldn't – I'm a dead man walking. You deserve better than a broken heart. Although, wasn't he bold, to think that Devi might care for him the way he did her? What could he possibly offer her besides his knowledge of the arcane? He was doomed twice over – once from the illithid tadpole, and once from his own idiocy. She at least still had a chance at a normal life once she was cured of the tadpole. 
Tomorrow, he decided, he would start trying to distance himself from her. It would hurt her in the short term, and it would be agony for him, but it was for the best. She deserved better than to develop affections for a man who had nothing before him but an explosive death. Maybe he could subtly point her in the direction of Wyll – the warlock, despite his devilish appearance, was a good man. He was certainly a better man than the wizard who had tried to advance himself beyond mortal limitations to impress a goddess – and even with Wyll’s pact to a devil, he had a hope for a future beyond a destructive death alone. And he was younger, and handsome, and full of life and vigour, and could crack a joke to make even Devi groan while she was laughing…
Gods, this was already breaking Gale's heart.
But Devi would be happy with Wyll. Or maybe Shadowheart, if Wyll didn’t strike her fancy – the two half-Elves seemed to have a close connection already. Even if Shadowheart was a Sharran, Devi didn't seem to think less of her for it. Or Karlach, as boisterous and friendly as she was, would be a good match for the feisty little thief.
None of them were a depressed middle-aged wizard who had already exceeded his potential and his usefulness to Faerûn. 
Gale sighed yet again and started to roll away from Devi onto his side, trying to get some sleep. In the morning he would talk to Devi, and see if the thief would be receptive to the idea of spending her nights apart from him. Certainly, she would be upset at first – Gale fully expected to get slapped. But she had to see the logic eventually, right? She was more than smart enough, even if she was uneducated –
At his side, Devi softly moaned in protest of his movements. Her hand reached up, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down on his back again. Before Gale could do anything, the little half-Elf wrapped her arm around his stomach and settled her head on his chest, squirming until she was comfortable. Once she was satisfied with her human pillow, she sighed and draped her leg over his before she fell fully back to sleep, peacefully lost in her dreams.
Shit. This was not doing a damn thing to help Gale reconcile himself to letting go of her. She felt so damn good beside him, warm and snuggly, tucked under his arm where she belonged. How in the Nine Hells was he supposed to separate himself from her when she did things like this to him? His heart twisted in his chest at how serenely innocent she looked. She trusted him enough to sleep with him, even with the orb in his chest that could kill them all in an instant. Hells, she was sleeping on him now, only inches from the ugly markings he bore!
And she didn't seem to be bothered by that in the slightest.
“Why do you do this to me?” Gale whispered to the woman at his side. Giving up, he wrapped his arm around her, holding her closer to him. Was it his imagination, or did a little smile flicker over her lips as she felt him embrace her? He inwardly groaned – there was no way he could force himself to let go of her, or make her let go of him, when she so effortlessly held his heart in her hands. He was dooming her, every night that he slept with her, every time he read a book for her, every time he gave her a kind word or a smile or a gentle touch.
She would never let go of him in the way she needed to, in order to save herself from him and his grim fate. And Gale knew she would only call him a “self-destructive hopeless idiot”, or something similar, and cling tighter to him if he tried to talk to her about this and make her see sense.
Was she wrong, though?
Frustrated, Gale closed his eyes again and tried to will himself to sleep. Perhaps in the morning, he could think of a way to gently turn Devi from him and to a partner who actually had a future. It would break his heart, but it was better than dragging her down with him.
But maybe he could allow himself one more night of holding Devi against his heart and wishing he could safely confess his love for her. He sighed, forcing himself to resist the urge to kiss her hair, or her forehead, or those perfect lips. If he started kissing her even innocently right now, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop, not until the orb ended him. But gods, he wished he could… He could have died happy while kissing her, but it wasn't worth the risk he posed to everyone else in a ten-mile radius. Nobody else deserved to die while he indulged himself in kissing the woman he wanted – especially not the woman in question.
He sighed, shifting as much as he dared until he was comfortable under Devi. His other hand came up to slowly card his fingers through her loose hair, a soothing motion that made her contentedly hum in her sleep. Dammit, Devi, he thought, you make it too easy for me to love you.
That thought made him blink his eyes open again. Was this…? He thought for a moment, then sighed. Yes – this was love he felt for the woman in his arms. This was adoration, and devotion, and more than a bit of strongly-denied lust. He wanted her in every way possible – emotionally, and in spirit, and yes, physically too. 
But he wanted her safe and happy, even more than he wanted her with him. If you really love her, then you have to let her go, he tried to tell himself. Doesn't she deserve better than to be with you? Wyll would make her happy.
But what if she doesn't want Wyll? What if–
He firmly shut down the little voice in his mind before it could make the suggestion that maybe the woman in his arms wanted him. Nobody with any sense would want the older, broken, damned man that he was.
Then again, just that day, Astarion had been very enthusiastic in telling Devi that she had no sense, or self-preservation instincts, whatsoever…
Shut up. He scowled, then tugged the blankets up a little higher over himself and Devi. Just go to sleep. With any luck, Devi will see the truth herself without any prodding. And if she doesn't… it will hurt, but it will save her in the long term to break from her.
He sighed, then settled in to sleep, savouring what he was determined would be his last night holding the woman he loved.
Only a couple of hours later, Gale awoke to the sound of a whimper. He opened his eyes, frowning into the darkness of his tent until he heard a stifled sob from the half-Elf in his arms. He mumbled the incantation for a light cantrip, looking at Devi with anxiety spiking in his chest.
She didn't appear to be hurt. But her brow was furrowed as if she was in pain, and she was shaking. “Stop…” she whispered, flinching from something only she could see. “Please…”
Worried, Gale gently shook her shoulder. “Devi,” he lowly said, softly calling her name. “You're dreaming. You need to wake up.”
Devi didn't seem to hear him. She flinched again as though she'd been struck. “No,” she begged whoever was tormenting her. “You're hurting me!”
Gale shook her again, fear making the motion a little harder. “Devi,” he spoke her name again, a little louder. “Wake up, darling. I have you – you're safe. Wake up.”
His words didn't seem to be getting through. Devi whimpered again, her fingers tightening in Gale's shirt. “Please… help me… stop!” Her next words made Gale's heart twist in his chest. “No! Not Gale! Please!”
“Shhhh.” Gale shook her again and pressed his lips to her hair. “It's all right, darling. You're safe. Wake up now.” He lowered his lips to her ear as she whimpered again. “Wake up, Devi. You're safe… you're safe. I promise. Wake up. Wake up!”
Devi's twitching and flinching finally slowed, then stopped as Gale kept kissing her hair and whispering soothing reassurances to her. He finally felt her clutch his shirt a little tighter as she turned her head up to him. “Gale?” she whispered, her voice tiny and broken.
“I'm here,” Gale murmured, relief washing through his veins. “I have you. You're safe – it was just a dream, dear one. You're perfectly safe.”
“Oh, gods.” Still shaking, Devi buried her face in the crook of Gale's neck, clinging to him. “You were… you were…”
“Shhh,” Gale whispered. “I'm here.” He took her hand, guiding it to rest over his beating heart so she could feel his pulse. “I’m here. You’re all right – and so am I. Just breathe.” He heard a little sob from the woman he was holding, and felt his heart break for her. “Shhh. Breathe with me, Devi. Can you feel me breathing?” He waited until she nodded into his neck. “That’s my girl. Breathe with me, darling.” He focused on taking slow, calming breaths to make his chest move enough for her to easily feel him. For the first few breaths, Devi couldn’t quite match his slow breathing – stifled sobs made her body jerk unevenly under his arm. But as the minutes passed, she seemed to find his rhythm with breathing, her inhales slowly coming to match his as she calmed down from her nightmare. 
“Thank you,” she finally mumbled, slowly pulling her face out of his neck. There was a suspicious wetness on her cheeks that told Gale she’d been crying into his skin; indeed, he could feel her tears on him. “I’m sorry–”
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” Gale murmured, stroking his thumb over her cheekbone. He offered her a small, reassuring smile. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Devi started to shake her head, then hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of the blanket. “I… told you how my father’s a gods-damned bastard that not even the hells want?” she asked, her voice low and quiet. 
Gale nodded. “You’ve told me he’s a terrible person and you plan on dancing on his grave when he dies,” he softly answered. “Or using his grave for a latrine. Perhaps both.”
Devi made a little sound that Gale thought was trying to be a laugh, a laugh mingled with a sob. “He deserves it. He and his friends, they…” She took a shaky breath, not looking at Gale’s face. “They were hurting me, and then they… they decided to hurt you when you appeared in the dream — I think you were trying to save me? But they… gods, the things they did…” 
“Shhh.” Gale pulled Devi’s face back into the crook of his neck; she went to him willingly, clinging to him. “We’re both all right – there’s nothing to be afraid of in this tent.” Except the orb, and the tadpoles, and the threat of the Absolute, and the small-but-still-present risk that Mystra would simply spontaneously detonate the orb in Gale’s chest to kill him and everyone around him – Gale shook his head. “We’re safe here. Nobody can hurt you when I’m here to protect you.” 
“They hurt you,” Devi mumbled. “They were hurting you, and they were going to kill you, and–”
“Shhh. It was just a bad dream, darling. I’m entirely unhurt, and so are you.” Gale hesitated for a moment, then chuckled. “And you can tell your subconscious that I don’t fear a thief and his henchmen. I might be outnumbered, but I would make them regret facing me before falling.”
Devi trembled again in his arms. “You couldn’t fight,” she whispered, quiet enough that Gale almost couldn’t hear her. “You… you were trying to save me. If you had fought them… they would have hurt me more.”
Apparently Devi’s subconscious knew Gale well enough to know that this was a truth about him. If that nightmare had been reality… Gale knew he would have stopped fighting the instant it became clear that his resistance would have endangered the woman he loved. “Shhh,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “It was just a dream. Your father can’t hurt either of us here.” 
He felt Devi slowly nod, but she still clung to him, shaking like a leaf. He suspected that she was probably too scared to easily go back to sleep. With a grunt, he reached out for the book they had been reading earlier that evening – or rather, that he had been reading to her. Nudging the lights to where he could more easily see the pages, he opened the book back where they had left off. “Shall I try to get your mind back onto a more soothing subject?” he asked. At her hesitant nod, he kissed her hair again, then started quietly reading the next chapter. The halfling and dwarves had been caught by ogres, and were being argued over by said ogres who couldn’t decide how to cook them properly. It was one of Gale’s favourite scenes in the book, and Devi seemed to be entranced by the story normally. Indeed, she seemed to calm down as he read to her, shifting from having her face buried in his neck, to resting her cheek on his shoulder. 
As Gale came to the end of the chapter, he looked down to see Devi’s eyes closed and her lips slightly parted again, her breathing soft and slow. He wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep again, but he was grateful that she had found rest. Careful to not disturb her, he replaced the bookmark in the pages, then set the book back down and extinguished the lights over their heads. Devi grunted as he slowly rested on the pillow again, then snuggled up as closely as she could to him.
Gale sighed softly, running his hand over her hair soothingly. Apparently this was the gods’ way of foiling his plan to break apart from Devi before anything could begin with them. Who else was going to cuddle the little half-Elf after her nightmares? Who else would read to her to get her mind off her fear again? Try as Gale might, he couldn’t imagine Devi snuggling up so closely to Wyll, or Shadowheart, or Karlach, or any of their other friends in the party. For some reason, she had chosen Gale, doomed and damned as he was.
Guilt and hope surged in equal amounts in his heart – guilt because he was dragging Devi down with him, and hope because maybe he wasn’t quite as broken and useless as he believed himself to be. Maybe Devi saw something in him that he couldn’t see or acknowledge himself.
It would have been easier if she didn’t see anything in him, he thought. 
He yawned and let himself cuddle Devi closely, doing his best to make sure she felt protected and safe in his arms. “No harm will come to you if I can help it,” he promised her in a whisper. “You are safe with me.” Closing his eyes, he rested his cheek on her hair and let himself fall back asleep, praying that Devi’s dreams for the rest of the night (and his, he supposed) would be peaceful.
If you dream of me again, dear one… dream of the happiness that I can’t give you in reality. Please don’t dream of either of us suffering for the other, he thought before sleep reclaimed him.
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iamafule · 4 months
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Sometimes you just need a character that has the words 'white guy' as a part of their character arc
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