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rosalieplots · 1 month

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Rosalie plot page

TRIGGERS ON PAGE: Mental Health

Name: Rosalie Lauren Cooper

Age: 29

DOB:08/09/1994

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Straight

Hometown: Cleveland, OHIO

current home: Los Angeles

occupation: Photographer/Model

3 pos traits: Super Loyal, Loving, Reliable

3 neg traits: Insecure, self deprecating, Defensive

Bio: Rosalie grew up as an only child and was raised by her dad and grandmother due to her mother being ill and in and out of the hospital alot of her childhood, causing her to have quite a bit of issues with a hard relationship with her mother. She moved to LA when she was 21 and has made her way up in photography and modeling. she is unfortunetly very defensive due to being more sensitive than she will ever admit, and she can be very closed off with other people when it comes to letting them in. She has a huge heart and would do anything for those she loves but doesnt like letting anyone help her she is stubborn, heard headed exterior with a soft interior.

BASIC PLOTS

FWB (0/3)

BEST FRIENDS/PARTNER IN CRIME(0/3)

POSSIBLE HALF SIBLING (0/1)

PLOTS BASED ON SONGS:

(0/1)MORE THAN FRIENDS BY LUKE NELSON AND LAINEY WILSON-Let’s “pretend we’re more than friends tonight,Let’s pretend and let each other Forget tomorrow ”- someone that Rosie is good friends with that maybe both have feelings for one another but dont want to ruin their friendship along the way but then one night happens and well we can go from there.

(0/1)THICC AS THEIVES BY LAUREN ALAINA-’Thelma and Louise and some faded blue denim’- this is basically Rosalies Ride or Die and she is theirs, someone that she would do anything for and is her entire best friend/life and knows everything about her.

(0/1)SHE NEVER CRIED IN FRONT OF ME BY TOBY KEITH: ’How was I supposed to know,She was slowly letting go,If I was putting her through hell,Hell, I couldn’t tell,She could’ve given me a sign,And opened up my eyes,How was I supposed to see,She never cried in front of me’- maybe this is where your muse was closed off in a relationship with rosalie and they were on and off for awhile before she finally has enough of it and let them go.

(0/1)HELL OF A MAN BY ELLA LANGLEY:That somethin’ about me can’t stick around,He’s all the way in, and I’m on the way out,Am I just a runner runnin’ from another?“- being closed off makes it harder for Rosalie to trust someone else, so this could be someone who is actually a really good person and tries hard to show her that trusting can be an okay thing.

(0/1)INSIDE YOUR HEAD BY WARREN ZEIDERS-I wanna know what’s goin’ on inside your head,Are you thinkin’ about him when your clothes are on my floor?”- rosalie had a bit of a rough past and made some decisions she isnt proud of, but this could be someone that rosalie cheated on a partner with in the past or they cheated on theirs or both, this could be someone who is her kryptonite and she falls into the same pattern whenever they are around.

OTHER PLOTS BASED ON PLOTS:

(0/1)**MARRY ME under the stars- Rosie moved to LA when she was 21 and was sort of just surviving trying to find her identity and escape her past, this could be a muse who she met and things moved quickly, to one night they just decided to get married at a small chapel somewhere and then things ended and either they signed divorce papers or have just been seperated for years we can brainstorm things for this~

(0/3)Best friends to enemies- This could be someone whom rosie trusted with all of her heart, but they lost her trust and she turned cold and maybe both did things that they didnt find themselves proud of.

(0/2)ENEMIES TO LOVERS-this could be someone that Rosalie literally despises and they also despise her but the chemistry is insane and the sex is better, but maybe they can work out their differences .

(0/1)**BABY DADDY PLOT: This could potentially be a one night stand type of plot, or added to any of the above plots, even the husband plot they could have a night of reconciliation, again open to brain storming this!

(0/?)Colleagues- this could be someone that she coordinates her photography with and can be anyone!!

ESCAPE THE PAST: Rosie grew up with a dad who worked to much and a mom who was in and out of Mental Health hospitals (TW mental health) and a grandma who raised her alot of the time, but they didnt have alot of money so when she was18 she started as an escort going on dates with men for money, to help her dad with the bills. she doesnt tell people this and maybe this is someone who actually knows the truth about her life before she got it together.

Exes

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polarius · 2 years

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𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐗 𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 (𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔)

You took a picture of your new hairstyle and wanted to show it your friend, Itadori. But things took a turn when you accidently send the picture to your boyfriend instead of this twin.

[story is in 1st person view btw]

Sukuna was sitting in his office with all the papers piled up on his desk. He was the CEO of that company and still too many paperwork. During one of his meeting I accidently sent a picture of me , shirtless and I didn't know things would turn out serious. After a few minutes I noticed that I sent that to him and he saw it but didn't gave me a reply, I instantly deleted it. It was 8:30pm and almost time for him to reach home..

I was sitting on the couch watching my favorite anime ,[anime name]. "ring!" oh that must be the bell..wait its only 8:30 he would usually reach at 8:50 but its early now. I opened the door wide and he entered , after locking the door I followed him to the bedroom. "did anything happen today? you look..rather odd"I said. He loosened his tie and starred at me and pulled me towards him. I was startled "w-wait what are ya doing?!" He pushed me towards the black tinted bed... He was now over me and his red-eyes scanning every part of me "do you really think you can get away with what you've done?" He questioned me "the picture , Y/n..." .

"oh I highly apologize for that! I wanted to send it to someone else haha" I replied

"To whom were you going to send it?" he glared, I felt dominated ..I couldn't escape him "a-ah can you please loosen the grip on my hand? its hurts you know" I said..It looked like he didn't care about it and started to undress himself "Aren't you going to do it? or should I do it myself?" He said..

I got up and started to undress, this was not I wanted to happen! all I ever wanted was to send the picture of my new hairstyle I got to Itadori-kun! How did stuff turned out to be like this??..."why are you even embarrassed?" He asked.

I removed my pants and I was partially naked I tried to cover myself with a blanket I found and starred at Sukuna's chest . He caught me starring "like what you see?" he asked . I couldn't reply I was red a tomato . He trailed his finger over my sternum and made his way over to my shorts "rock hard eh?" I covered my red face with my hands. He removed my shorts to see my cock stand up "gah!" I shouted , I felt so embarrassed right now that I wanted to bury myself. He started to stroke my cock roughly.

I felt weird..this was the first time someone stroking it for me and it felt different than what I did.. Precum started to appear and I saw him grinning..He started to stroke it faster "ah uhn! s-slower ah" He didnt listen "wait ah im gonna!" He stopped. I whined at the lose of touch ..."Don't cum until I say so" He replied and pulled his packing 9inch member out. I was shocked on seeing that "w-what its huge" I awed. He went over to his cupboard and pulled a lube out "WAIT! are we really going to that ?" I asked "what does it look like then?" he instantly replied.

He was now over me..again.. and he opened the lube and poured some of them over me , its cold and slimy I felt weird again. He also smeared some on his finger and slowly entered it inside me (he cut his nails so dont worry) I huffed and covered my mouth to prevent the incoming sounds. He moved my hands from my mouth "dont cover it..". He kept inserting another finger and then another. "I think thats enough" he said and aligned his 10inch member infront of my hole. I was scared its my first time and I didnt know what to say..

He thrusted it into me slowly "So..tight.." he groaned. Beads of tears started to form on my face as my hole was slowly being opened wide "ughh ahh" I groaned as I gripped onto the bedsheet. "its in..." he said.

He didnt gave me time to adjust and started to move slowly , I kept moaning along with his groans..His groans...They sound hot.

He increased his speed "slow down ahh" I said..Soon my pain turned into pleasure as he started to abuse my prostate. "Ah look your cock is twitching" he teased. I couldnt handle it anymore "if you want to cum..then beg for it" He said. Beg? what does he mean by beg??? I wanted to ejaculate so badly so I did what he said "S-sukuna..please..please let me..cum please hah..". He grinned at me "sure whatever you say" and started increasing his speed than before. Soon after I've reached my climax and moaned one last time and fell onto the bed. "Tired already? we still have five more rounds to go"

(fuck my grammar then :/)

#sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #anime x male reader #anime x y/n #sukuna oneshot #jujutsu kaisen smut #dom sukuna #bottom reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #anime one shot #sukuna smut

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flamingo-writes · 3 years

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Mixtape Track 03

Humility by Gorillaz (feat. George Benson)

Summary: Even though he's a big city boy himself, Josuke Higashikata still agreed to go camping with you and your dad. Learning in the process that camping isn't as easy as you usually make it sound. However, its during the trip that he discovers something. A new set of feelings for you start clouding his mind.

A/N: this was also inspired by the recent camping trip I had with a fre friends a few weeks back.

Warnings: none.

People were usually surprised by how close Josuke and you were. Considering the both of you were so different. Sure, for two people who basically grew up together, you were very different.

Growing up, you constantly went camping with your father, since he was a botanist. Even though now a days he worked as a teacher in City S's University, he missed his researcher days when he'd go on field trips to research plants. And so, during school breaks, he'd go camping for a few days and take you along into the most recondite places in the middle of nowhere.

While you grew up spending a lot of time in the wild, you grew to be a bit feral and adventurous. Curious of the tiny details nature had to offer, with a lot of knowledge about plants, how to light a fire, how to climb, you were very much like a wild animal yourself. You kept your appereance always simple and practical and despite liking being clean, you didn't really mind if you got dirty.

Josuke on the contrary, was a city boy, despite living in the small town of Morioh. Always looked after his appereance, always clean, always smelling nice. Josuke was a smart kid, no doubt, but when it came to survival skills, he had none, since he usually took many things for granted because he was raised always withing the limits of Morioh.

In the summer before starting highschool, as per usual, your dad planned out a camping trip with a couple of his friends from college. They usually brought their kids along, with whom you got along with, but neither of them lived in Morioh. However, this time, your father told you you could bring a friend with you.

But boy, poor Josuke Higashikata didn't know what he had gotten himself into. He though it was gonna be different, considering how you always spoke so excitedly about your camping trips with your dad.

Its not that he didn't have fun. But it was all too complicated. Sleeping on the floor, not having a mirror and having to style his hair from muscle memory. The cold at night was something he never had lived through, his hands freezing as he tried to eat his very simple dinner, as the small group of people gathered around a small fire.

"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?" You asked your father, sitting next to you as he took a big sip of his beer.

"We're gonna go to Sendai, we want to visit the Tama River, probably take a swim there" Your dad said.

"Oh nice!" Kenta, a boy around your age sighed. "I love the Tama river!"

"Sendai? Oh gee, where are we?" Josuke whispered low enough so only you could listen.

"Not sure. But it doesn't matter. When we go to Sendai, we stay a night in some cabins with hot water and beds"

"Oh thank god. I really need a shower. And a roof above my head" Josuke sighed relieved.

"Youre such a city boy" you giggled as Josuke felt a blush creep on his cheeks.

"Yeah, camping its not my thing. I am having fun though" Josuke admitted.

"Thank you for coming here. And I'm sorry I dragged you out of the city" You muttered back, looking at your friend underneath your lashes.

"Hey, don't apologise. I am having fun. You dont get to see landscapes this beautiful in Morioh. Besides, I get to spend time with you, thats ways fun" Josike added apologetically, windering if you felt offended in some way.

It wasnt all that bad, he thought. The cold weather had him sharing a blanket with you. The two of you snuggled together, sharing a blanket. And for the first time, Josuke noticed a different glow in your face.

"Thank you, Josuke" You spoke after a few seconds of silence, resting your cheek on his shoulder and snuggling closer to him as he swore he felt you shiver and tightening the blanket around your shoulder.

Josuke mirrored your movements, getting closer together so the warmth between your bodies helped you stop shivering.

The way you seemed so comfortable in nature, how you breathed in so deeply l every now and then, and how you were quick to day dream while staring at the landscape. He always thought you were objectively a pretty girl, but seeing you like this, he wondered if you had always being this pretty.

Josuke's favorite part of the camping trip was indeed spending the night at a cabin your dad and his friends rented. The first thing he did was take a hot shower while everyone else gathered around a fire outside the cabin exchanging stories of all natures while a friend of your dad cooked dinner.

However, the hot shower was nowhere near close his new favorite experience of the trip compared to when you swam in the river.

The city boy felt slightly intimidated by the idea of swiming in a river. What if something happened to him? Was it really safe to swim in river? It took a little convincing for Josuke to get in there. But nothing you couldn't do.

"C'mon, you know how to swim!" You cheered.

"Its cold!" Josuke whined as he got a si gle foot inside and thought ofnhow the temperature was going to feel in his whole body.

"I know, but as long as you keep moving, you wont feel cold" You added.

"Its easy for you to say it, you're already in there"

"Come on! I'll buy you lunch when were back if you get in here and swim towards me!"

Josuke looked at you as you slowly swam on your back towards the centre of the river.

"You're gonna be fine! I promise!"

Josuke took a deep breath before jumping into the river and swiming towards you. The cold water stinging his skin at first. However, he soon felt the warmth of your skin underwater, as his arm brushed yours.

"Hey you made it!" You said wrapping your arms around his bare shoulders covered in goosebumps due to the cold. You hugged his as he kept moving his legs, brishing his knees with yours every now and then

"I cant feel the bottom, how deep is this river?" Josuke asked.

"Dunno. But it doesnt matter. Just keep swimming!" You cheered.

"I'm going to be honest, Im a bit scared right now" Josuke admitted, a blush painting his cheeks lightly.

"Hey, nothing's going to happen to you. Here" you said holding his hand "Some otters hold hands to keep themselves from drifting away, so, as long as we're holding hands, you're gonna be fine" You squeezed his hand softly as he looked at your uands, oretty visible through the crystal clear water.

"Are we otters now?" Josuke asked.

"You're my otter half" You giggled mischievously as Josuke glared at you at your bad joke.

"Wow" Josuke laughed as he noticed he no longer felt cold anymore "that is the cheesiest joke you ever made"

"Okay fine, you can stop holding my hand now" You joked.

"No! Dont let go! I'll behave, I promise!" Your friend whined.

You laughed, Josuke tightening his grip on your warm hand as the both of you were floating without going anywhere.

You swam together as everyone was enjoying themselves as well swiming in the river. A few hours went by before your dad and his other two friends got off the water and started a fire ready to warm up the food before the sunset.

It a few instances, you had held hands with josuke, without much of a thoight. However, this time ot felt a bit different. It felt a bit more intimate. The time you spent in the river, you were hding hands the entire time. Outside the river, you remained with your fingers entwine despite it not being necessary anymore.

Something in your chest felt different than usual. And you thought you were just being silly, suddenly feeling romantic about holdong hands with your best friend.

However, what you didnt know is that Josuke was having the exact same thoughts. And the same fast heartbeat you were having, as neither of you let gonofneach other's hands as you approached the fire upon being called for dinner.

[Mixtape]

Dont forget to leave feedback! If you want to be tagged in the future, let me know!

Also, have an actual pic from my camping trip. I did swim in a river and even though the water was very cold, I still had a lot of fun

#jojo's bizarre adventure diamond is unbreakable #jojo x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #jjba part 4 #jjba pt 4 #jjba p4 #jjba diamond is unbreakable #Diamond is Unbreakable #diu #jjba diu #josuke higashikata x reader #josuke higashikata #josuke x reader #josuke

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kendrixtermina · 3 years

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On the great selfishness of forced “reconcilliation”or, what’s in it for me? (A Thinkpiece)

It’s very clear and easy to see what he would get out of it: A great relief to his ego, self-image and pride. A feeling of attaining his goal. He’d no longer have to explain to himself or anyone why his daughter isn’t speaking to him. He would be more comform with the image and values he wants to attain. He would have piece of mind.

I’m even gonna be generous and grant that he would feel happy about the connection and being able to show his love, though I personally don’t buy it.

But what do I get?

A common retort here tends to be that I’d get “peace of mind”, and I grant that this can be true for a person who hates conflict and feels distres from disharmony, but I am really quite comfortable with some conflict. I don’t care to be friends with everyone. I get that not everyone will like me, and I’m fine with that.

It’s actually rather arrogant for someone to inflate their own importance to the point that they think your mentsal wholeness, hapiness and peace of mind depends wholly on themselves - like all your other relationships, your job, your hobbies and any self-improvement efforts you might be doing don’t matter at all. It’s jarring that anyone would think claiming that would make you forgive them, especially if your initial complaint was that they are arrogant and treated you as an extension of themselves rather than a whole person. They’re claiming that they changed and in the same breath showing that they still think your life revolves around them, that they get to have the relationship by default without ever having to build it.

And even such a person for whom forgiveness would bring piece of mind could just forgive the person in the quiet of their own heat for their own betterment without reestablishing relations. They wouldn’t be keeping to themselves because of a grudge, but simply because there is no good reason to connect.

Do you need a reason?

Well, if you didn’t, then you would have to connect to every single person who has not given you reason to loathe them. That’s impossible.

Consider that there are seven billion human beings on this planet. Most of them I will never meet. I couldn’t be friends with all of them even if I wanted. We all have limited time and energy. So, I have to pick some.

And to pick all the ones who just happen to be nearby seems like leaving a very important part of your life up to randomness. Your social contacts, after all, influence what values ideas you’re exposed to and what kind of support is available to you, and what experiences and energies you invite into your life.

It makes sense to first consider your family: They’re already nearby, you get to know them very well by virtue of living together, they’re biologically programmed to get attached to you, and they are likely to have things in common with you.

So if you know nothing else, it makes good sense to assume that a family member is a good candidate for a social contact.

But there are also family members who are NOT good choices for company. I think most of us can agree to this as a principle at least for extreme cases like rape.

So, it’s rather like this: A family member is a good candidate for social contact unless proven otherwise.

If we were like god who can be everywhere at once and needs nothing and never gets tired, then maybe we could be friends with everyone who is not an irreedemable sinner, but I am not god.

Any relationship costs time and energy. Yet, this can be very worthwhile, because human relationships also have great benefits.

For a relationship to be worth keeping up, the benefits have to equal or outweigh the work.

In our christianity-influenced culture it is still considered shameful to admit that you “want” something out of a relationship, but really, all of us do - that’s why we start and maintain relationships. Not being aware of that makes us blind.

By ‘benefits’ I don’t just mean shallow things like sex, attention or status. If you are longing for deep, meaningful experiences, that’s your benefit. If you love to give and see others thrive, that’s your benefit.

And I don’t mean that as a clever gotcha or as some cynical assertion that all relationships are inherently transactional, but as an useful mental framework to make oneself aware of the desired end result and check if one’s actions are in accordance with that.

If you want your children to trust you, you can’t judge and humiliate them when it’s convenient because that destroys the trust that keeps them listening to you & sustains the relationship. In the book “7 habits of extraordinaryly efficient people” this is called Production vs. Production Capacity or “The Goose and the Golden Egg”.

And don’t get me wrong, nortmally, there are great benefits to keeping in touch with your parent as an adult:

They typically have more ressources and are more advanced in their careers, so they can help you if you’re in trouble

They might be wiser, more experienced and more mature than you, so they can give you valuable advice

And lastly, you have all the benefits you’d get from any close social bond: Companionship and emotional support. They can listen to your woes, share you joy, you can tell them your thoughts, liven up your everyday life, and they can also introduce you to new ideas and viewpoints, and motivate you to go beyond your comfort zone. What’s more, being with a loved one can give you a feeling of meaning and community all on its own. Just seeing them on its own can make you feel happy, satisfied and meaningful. They don’t even need to do anything. They might be interesting and loveable and just all around enjoyable to be around and fill your heart with warm fondness.

People who have even 1 decent parent should be aware how lucky they are compared to ppl with no parents or two unforgiveable asshat parents. Every time you spend a good time with your parent, think of all the orphans, thrown-out gay kids etc. who don’t have that. Having a nice parent who supports you well into adulthood is a cause for great gratitude.

But now let’s look at an abusive jerk parent.

Could I get material support? No, because it comes with a proce tag of emotional distress. You will be guilt tripped even for the baby wipes that wiped your newborn butt! Super not worth it. If I wanted to pretend to like someone for money, I would just open an onlyFans, it’d be much less stressful

Could I get valuable advice? Is he wise? No. He is a fool. All his opinions are copypasted from rightwing websites. H e was telling us to heard hydroxy last year. Is he mature? He has the maturity of a toddler My 20 year old sister is a hundred times more mature.

Could I get emotional support? No, you have to walk on eggshells around him

Could i share my thoughts? No. he flies into a range if anyone voices any opinion that isn’t to his liking

Could we have fun together? No. He hates my lifestyle and values, and I loathe his. I think his politics are deeply immoral and he probably thinks the same about mine. We have zero interests in common. He only ever mocked my music and interests and tried to force me into sharing his so that I now associate them with bad memories. I would never be friends with such a person normally. I would count to ten so that O don’t waste time having pointless arguments with them on youtube comments. He says people like me are destroying Europe and that we are lazy degenerates. And this is assuming I believe that he didnt mean all the other outrageous things hes since made flimsy pretend apologies for.

Could I relax around him? No. I’m rather efficiently pavlov trained to associate him with pain and humiliation. Speaking to him tires me alot. It would cost me much, much more effort than any other relationship, and much time I could be spending doing useful things or interacting with people that I don’t have bad blood with & that don’t trigger emotional flashbacks with their mere presence

Would I enjoy being near him? No. He has zero traits that I like, value or enjoy. I absolutely do not enjoy being near him. I might have suffered him to touch me as I child because I was told to by my mother whom I trusted, but it was always with fear. He’s also never shown much signs of being interested in me. He would always yell at me if I entered a room and cried and whined about what a burden and a punishment I was. That is, except for making me take courses so he could then brag about having a child that does this & that, ignoring my wishes completely. In effect he brushed my real instincts and personality aside to mold me into his fantasy of having a child prodigy, exerting extreme pressure, and then humiliated and abused me when I remained a perfectly ordinary, non-genius child.

None of the normal reasons for having a social bond is present. There are only downsides for me: I have to shut up, bottle up my feelings, play nice, censure my thoughts etc.

I could see the point of doing that for a boss who pays me money, or to get into a social group that gets me prestige and energy, or maybe to get along with the friends and family of spouse I love and enjoy.

But what do I get here?

I mean, I’m not a child. I get that you sometimes have to play nice to get paid or archieve a cause. But my private relationships in my private life should be pleasurable. It’s where I go to recover from the work where fakery maybe can’t be avoided.

So why, why in the name of god would I ever chose THIS person to spend time with out of all the seven billion humans on earth? Aside from murderesrs, rapists and evil politicians, he’s probably among the worst choices.

Obviously this “reconcilliation” could only benefit him. There is no joy for me, no benefit. It’s purely letting myself be used for his ego like he has always done for the first 20 years of my life. If he was capable of providing the benefits normally associated with having a father, he would have done so already.

Considering that the whole problem was that he used me to fill his needs instead of thinking about my needs like a parent is supposed to, it’s insuit to injury and salt in the wounds.

And if I wanted such benefits, I would have much better odds of getting them by trying to find a mentor, tutor, life coach, therapist, friend etc. who is an older male.

So why would I believe that he is changed if in the next breath he makes such a profoundly, deeply selfish request?

If anything it shows me that he still doesn’t have the capacity to consider things from my PoV and see me as an adult independent human with logic, feelings and will.

This is not about not wanting to make the effort. No one makes an effort for effort’s sake; They do it because something worthwhile is at the other end.

There is nothing for me to gain here, nothing at all.

I see the point of making an effort to salvage a once good relationship that has gotten sour because of mistakes: The hope is that you can have that good relationship once again, or even a better, more evolved version of it.

But here there was never any good to begin with, and any hypothetical good that come in the future is questionable and dubious from past experience.

If he come then and ask, “Then what is he supposed to do then?” that would just be proof of that same objectifying mindset, that he just need to throw some coins in and out pops a relationship.

You’re just going to have to live with the consequences of your actions, just as I do every day.

Once upon a time when I was younger, I might have said “show real interest in me”, there’s people that know me that you can ask. Heck, I’ve got an internet presence. Nowadays, I do NOT want that. I’ve learned not to let him have any information or acess about me because I’ve seen time and time again that it will just be used as ammunition to clubber me. The benefit of the doubt is fucking gone.

But I have always believed in free will & not putting people into fixed unchangeable categories like, say, “narcissist” that give themselves easily to easy juddgement and fundamental attribution & stigmatize mentally ill people. It’s much more sensible to label behavior.

So in the name ofintellectual integrity, I’m going to try & name something that might lead me to reconsider. Not immediately agree, because that would presuppose that he’s entitled to it somehow. Just think about it.

It’s really pretty simple: Actually change.

When I visit my mother and don’t have to witnesses her getting yelled at, pressured and emotionally blackmailed over the phone, when my younger sisters tell me of all the great quality time theyare spending and how much he listens and cares about their feelings, when he behaves like he understands what he did, maybe then I’ll believe.

But as of now it seems about as unlikely to me as a giant sucker on the backside of Pluto. I can’t prove 100% it isn’t there, but it seems unreasonable to live my life assuming it exists.

99% sure isn’t the same as 100% sure, but both those things are very different from 0%. then again its a pretty common trope of far right rhetorics to act like every degree of uncertainty is the same

#emotional abuse #abuse #forgiveness discourse #child abuse #abusive father #abusive parents #physical abuse

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

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Life After Snowpiercer: Still Alive

Summery- Curtis (hints of You) makes his way through the cars, and reaches the end to find a surprise waiting for him. Violence.

If you want to read the story Curtis told Nam, read it here- Past Horrors

Word Count- 2967

Chapter 3 / Masterlist

“OPEN IT, OPEN THE FUCKING GATE!”

Curtis stood at the final gate, the final mother fucking gate, his palms slapping at it, his boots ramming into it, and his rage, all that rage from the past 17 years, and more recently the two days it took him to fight his way here, so many lives, gone. His revolution had become a blood bath, Gilliam executed, Grey stabbed, Tonya shot, You… well he couldnt even let himself go there, not yet. Edgar, well fuck Edgar he betrayed, having left him laying among the rest, setting out right after the battle of the tunnel, leaving the majority of people behind to care for the dead and wounded. There was no time to stall.

Hours before in horror he watched the front enders slaughter his people in the television screen,among a car full of children singing praises to the almighty Wilford, the saviour. The armed men entered the gate and were lost from sight. Curtis just felt that all of you were gunned down without a care. No…. He almost broke right then and there, he could see them entering the last car, the one where he supposedly had you kept safe. His breathing picked up, his chest tightened and black stars swarmed in his vision. Then the tv crackled the noises of gunshots and flares of white could be seen coming out of the darkest gateway, all of it so grainy on the screen, but it was picture clear for him. No bodies could be seen, but the way his whole being just shattered into a million biting glass edges, slicing unseen wounds through his mind, he lost you, he couldnt keep you safe after all. Tonya smacked his face. “Curtis snap out of it, you have to lead us”

How can I? Shes gone, they shot her. His mind pieced together an image of your body crumbled in the middle of the aisle, bright red blossoming around you like a opening flower across your back, your hand outreaching for the darkness that might have hid you. Your eyes, the ones hes seen laughing, crying and loving, glassed over sightless, that part that was a persons soul, the spark that brought them life in there eyes, gone. Gone, could it really be? Curtis, she was doomed the day she chose you, and you kept her anyways. Monster. You killed her.

Suddenly Tonya came into his vision again, and beyond her, Minister Mason crumbled on her knees, her rat like face, with those beady eyes and oversized false teeth saying his name “Curtis, I can help you!” The heavy weight of the gun in his palm had a purpose, and it felt FUCKING GOOD just then. Without even a moment in between her words and him registering what the fuck she was pleading for, he marched over and right to her forehead the muzzle settled, her eyes rolling up to look at it in fear, the yellowish whites of her eyes brimming with tears, pupils focused on the muzzle indenting against her forehead. “Curtis pleeease, I beg you!”

His expression, was that of a man who no longer gave a shit what happened to him, his finger squeezed and that bullet, with a little satisfaction for him, drilled through her brain, a splatter of red grazing the entire area. A wipe of his hand across his face, he turned back towards the gate, Nam already working on it. Switching to a new cartridge, he told those still remaining. “We go forward” And just as he came to the gate, Nam got it to swing open, and now this man became the darkest part of himself he could possibly be, the compassion he would show his fellow kind was simply gone. There was no hestitation in his actions. If anyone crossed his path, they were met with cold killing rage.

Now at the final gate, that god damn signature W holding him back from Wilford. Nam tried to stall Curtis, refusing to open that final one for reasons Curtis couldnt understand. His daughter Yona, moaned on a pile of coats, drugged and drunk beyond rational thought, the child was a pitiful sight indeed. “Open the gate Nam, now. Is this what you want?” Curtis emptied his pockets of the kronoles, flinging them at the ex security intel “Take it! Open the fucking gate now!”

In a moment of weariness, Curtis stumbled to the floor, leaning back against the frame work staring at the door. Nam took some pity on the man and tossed him a smoke “Fucker better enjoy it, its the last one.” What the hell, Curtis thought, and he lit it, taking a stale drag of nicotine he hadnt experienced since he was 16 at a party. Finally he started talking, telling Nam all about how the beginning of his life on the train went. Inside his mind though, was a totally different conversation, his way of saying goodbye he supposed although numb at this point to everything, he could still sense the pain it was causing, vibrating in waves from him.

“Hey handsome” Your hands would slide up his chest and circle around his neck. “Almost at the end of the line”

“Appears so Baby” Another drag of smoke escaping from him.

“I guess were lucky we got this far right? I knew you would Curtis” Plucking his smoke from his lips and taking an inhale, washing the two of you in a billowing nicotine haze.

“Leave it to you babygirl to find the bright side here.” He chuckled, seeing you now rise to the balls of your feet to kiss him, hell even imaginary your kisses could score a fire to settle in him. How he wished it was real. That you were here, fuck he missed you it was an ache in his chest.”I dont think Im going to be returning… “ His voice drifted off softly.

“Oh handsome, you know I will find you again, another lifetime. You dont think this is truly the end of us?”

“No? it seems like it”

“Handsome, this is just one of many. I love you and we will see each other again. Now go do what you came to do.” you winked and returned the camel between his lips. Stepping away and leaving him alone once more.

Curtis lifted his gaze, asking one last final time. “Open the gate, please” Nam again shook his head, going off in how they MIGHT survive outside of the train, that the snow was melting, there was no need to stay.

“What are you fucking nuts? go out there and freeze. Leave all these people here, no. Open the GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING DOOR”

Then like the gate just knew, it clicked open and a flash of yellow stepped out, Nam shot backwards and in Claudes hand was a pistol. Composed as ever, she looked at Curtis. “Wilford will see you now.”

He simply spared a glance at Nam, whom Yona was wailing and shaking to bring back to her, and he pushed up, and into the room, all cold steel metal and blue glows, along one wall was a kitchen gallery, all dark masculine looking wood work and at the table in the car, sat an older man with intense blue eyes, staring at Curtis while frying his steak, smirking. “Curtis! Lets take a look at you.” Wilford almost sounded joyful, impressed? “You did a mans work coming all the way up here, did you know its been years since anyones walked the entire length of this train. How about you sit down, lets chat.” Claude nudged him towards the seat. With contempt he obliged, sitting down. “Would you believe Ive never been to the tail section?”

Curtis spat out “why the hell not, we to dirty for you in the tail section?”

“You think the engine isnt without its own complications Curtis?” Wilford turned from frying his steak for half a second, fixing Curtis with a look of disappointment. “It gets awful noisy up here, and not many to talk to.”

Who the fuck does he think he is? Noisy? Trying living with a thousand people in a iron box. “Right, you got steaks, room, and that whore will bring you whatever you want.”

“Curtis, everyone has there preordained position. And everyone is in there place…” Pointing at him with the greasy spatula, the steak starting to smoke and sizzle on the stove top. “Except you.” Turning back he flipped the steaks on a plate.

“Yea, thats what people with the best place say to those in the worst place. There is not one soul who wouldnt willingly trade places with you.” Damn straight Baby, your voice encouraged him.

“Would you?” Wilford questioned, seasoning his steak, how in the hell do seasons still exist? Perhaps you werent always the best voice of reasoning.

“Fuck you” Curtis spat at him with hatred and disgust.

Wilford sighed, as if exasperated with him. “Curtis, were all stuck on this train, and its a enclosed ecosystem with a fragile balance. Med rare?” Breaking his line of thought, Curtis ignored the question entirely, which Wilford paid no heed to. “population must be kept in balance, everything rigidly maintained. Now there are times… we have to take more drastic measures.” Wilford brought the steaks over, setting one perfectly cooked one in front of Curtis. “we simply dont have time to let natural selection take over, we all would be overcrowded on this train, starving. Remember starving Curtis? It took us a while to get the protein blocks going. I am truly sorry about that.” Wilford cut a bite of his steak and chewed between the rest of his words. “So we occasionally stir the pot to speak. Get things moving… The cast out of the seven, The McGregor Riots, and this one… My new favorite. The Great Curtis Revolution. Nice ring to it, right? The kids will love it” He winked one icy blue eye at Curtis as if it was a big joke between them. “I mean who was to expect you to come through with torches through the Yekaterina tunnel? Pure genius, nothing like Gilliam or I expected”

Curtis snapped his head a bit and confusion clouded his face He didnt just say that. “What?”

“Now come on, dont tell me you didnt know, Gilliam and I?” Giving an amused chuckle at Curtis confusion. “Front end and Tail end, we work together Curtis, he was more then a partner, he was my friend.”

“Bullshit, I dont believe you” Curtis stated, there was no way Gilliam was friends with Wilford, the hours the two of them had spent together discussing how to get here.

A grin crossed Wilfords face “well our plan was that the rebellion was to end at the tunnel. Kill off most of you, send the rest back. Curtis, why do you think Gilliam conditioned you to be the leader after McGregor? Sadly, it was supposed to be your hurrah. Your going out like in that old movie…. Braveheart? Going out in a fight. Your name was to give the remaining tail enders hope. So Gilliam gave you everything you could want back there. No one messed with you, got to keep the pretty girl, no one shamed you for keeping both your hands. Wasnt it nice, be able to hold her with both.” Dont you dare listen to him baby, we chose each other, Your voice echoed and stressed. A sickness washed over Curtis as these words, Wilford seemed none the wiser over what his words were doing, or he simply didnt care. “Gilliam said you were smart, but he could control you. Sadly he didnt.” Wilford wiped his mouth and tossed the napkin down, not even eating half the steak. “And why he had to pay the price. Im going to miss my friend, our long nightly chats.”

Still in disbelief over the news, Gilliam had been a mentor to him, a father when he needed advice. All those years, and he just fueled Curtis rage for this moment. No one knew that the traitorous snake was the man they all pledged there allegiance to.

“But your little stunt, well it took out more of the front end then I had hoped, but what fun, right? Its okay, you tail enders throw off brats pretty quickly, we will recover. Theres really just one last thing to do.” Picking up a phone, he pressed a button and waited for an answer. “How many you got left back there?” He listened and looked at Claude “We still at 75 percent?” she gave a nod and he returned to whomever was on the phone “Kill off 75 percent…. actually you know what? In celebration of our 18th year, keep 18 extra alive. Thank you”

Before he hung up, the barely there sound of gunfire blasted from the phone, and Curtis sprang to his feet. “YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Claude gave off one warning shot, which ricochet the bullet around the room, causing them all to duck momentarily. “God damn it Claude! Mind the engine.” Turning to Curtis who was straightening himself out and at this point ready to get this fucken over with. “God damn high strung woman, cant do nothing with them when they get to that point.” Wilford muttered to himself, going up the steps to check on the cylinders circling. Curtis followed him up, preparing to end this now. Wilford pulling out his own pistol from his robes, he cocked it at Curtis.”Mind your next move son. I got a proposition for ya, you might want to consider.”

Curtis merely paused cause of the gun pointing at his chest, basic human instinct still riding out his anger. Clenching his jaw, the twitch ticking in tandem, Wilford motioned him forward. “Listen, I like you, you got spunk, You get the job done. I already have a predecessor, but I need someone who can take over Minister Masons place since you disposed of her. About time someone did, I couldnt stand that woman. At the time, she was my finest choice though. You carry out what I need done, I know you have it in you.” Sliding the gun back into his robe when it seemed Curtis was no longer about to attack him. “Once in a while you dispose of some unnecessary lives we no longer have use for, do some intimidation to out of control groups. I will let you stay up front, even bring your girl up here.”

“Shes still alive?” Curtis croaked, the haze of your name clouding his senses, could it be true, was there actually hope?

“What? Of course shes still alive Curtis. First shes a woman, I wouldnt have my men kill off any women her age unless she was unfit to bear children. Even if you werent in the picture I would have her brought up here, resupply the front end. Shes a pretty thing, make someone a good wife. We need to continue the supply after all. Second, shes yours and Gilliam made it clear she was necessary to keep you compliant. Why do you think we allowed you two to play house with those orphans? Her little pet project. Why we never collected those kids, yes I knew all about them all along.” Wilford spoke as if he was doing You and Curtis a major favor. The fucken ass. Curtis could just see you now, the roll of your eyes and arms folding over your chest, Child Bearing Wife? Go Fuck Yourself Wilford.

All this information sunk in, Still alive, You were still alive. He could have you back, it was as simple as saying yes at this point. Sinking to his knees, his hands came to his face, relief watering his eyes and a soft sob broke. Wilford circled the man, whispering to him “Imagine it Curtis, life of luxury up here, have your girl back. You wouldnt ever have to live in a cage per say again. Just follow my orders like a good little soldier. Its really that easy. Minister Everett, sounds fitting right? The tail ender who actually made something of himself. Gilliam would want that for you.” Then he walked away, leaving Curtis all alone, choking on another sob, his hand came to his head and brushed his signature beanie off, rubbing his head. No Curtis, you are here for a reason, echoes of your voice shouted at him. “And if I say no?” Wilford snorted with disdain at Curtis, rolling his eyes with exasperation.

“Im giving you the deal of a life time and you dont want to take it? Fine, I guess I will have her killed Curtis, marched right up here and you can watch her die, or bring her up here and give her away to someone else? You can watch another man have her. Is that a better option. Its either you do this or you die and shes mine.” He gave a shrug. “The choice of your fates is in your hands.” Wilford was no fool, he knew how to work Curtis, already he could see the mans shoulders sink in a sign of defeat. Claude was perched near the gate entrance when it opened, a glance over her shoulder widened her smile, and she stepped aside. “Ahhh, I was wondering where my predecessor had gone off to, its about time you arrived. I was just telling Curtis all about what we set up for him.”

Curtis looked over his shoulder and the familiarity of the man struck him hard, it was like looking at you, your features in this young man was so prominent, he croaked out in disbelief.

“Matt?!”

Yes, your brother was still alive, healthy and alive. Dressed in a fine suit, well groomed, the young man smirked at Curtis. “Long time Curtis, good to see you again.”

@what-is-your-plan-today @jtargaryen18 @curtisbbq @p8tn0lish

#curtis everett x reader #snowpiercer #chris evans #curtis everett #fan fic

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minjoonalist · 5 years

Text

Better Than Before. | KSJ 18+

pairing: Ex!Seokjin x Reader

genre: smut, BDE!Jin, a pinch of Angst., what is Humor?

words: 3.1K

warnings: none :)

summary: why is that everytime you attmept to be a social butterfly your ex-kim seokjin appears and you’re suddenly a raging alcoholic. AKA- seokjin is on a persistent mission to get you alone again.

song inspiration: “Always” by Arin Ray

*** ***

You’ve never been the type of person to attend big celebration or even stay afterwards for further socializing. But you either had to choose between another Saturday spent watching re-runs of old sitcoms or actually going out to do something with your life and seeing as you were a full fledged nurse with barely enough time to take a piss… yeah it was probably time to interact with others.

The soft spot for your closest coworker had took it place once she asked for your assistance as a bridesmaid. An unfortunate event of one her friends getting extremely sick due to a spreading Flu had only ended with the poor thing being short just one person. Little did you know the sweet natured girl had actually considered you to be another close pal of her own and couldn't think of any other to put above asking you next. Originally you had planned to miss the event all in itself , even when you were just a guest. Practicing in your mirror to give the sweet girl a stern ‘hell no’, but it's Fairly obvious to see by now that, that didn't go as planned.

The air felt hot, you were sure your dress had a huge sweat stain on the back and you couldn't control the throbbing need that was slowly making you delirious by the second.

“You may now kiss the bride” the words spoken by the elderly priest that stood only a feet away from you. You looked to him. a firm smile placed on his slightly chapped lips that had everyone cheering, including the beautiful couple who were currently leaning into each other to seal their vows of commitment. It was perfect to say nonetheless, all white spreading throughout the pure rustic styled garden and the sun was shining throughout the clear blue skies showcasing the Event in all it’s beauty . You wanted to bask in it and soak up the rare moment you were apart of , but there was no use .

No, Not when there's a pair of dark occupied eyes staring your body down throughout the entire celebration.

“ I dont know whats more messed up. You- attending the same wedding as me or the fact that the next time I ever see you it's when you're in the same wedding as me” the undeniably gorgeous man that you’ve known as your Ex- Kim Seokjin- or well Jin pressed you into his side tighter just as you were following the groom and bride down flower filled path.

Wild light brown hair, pouty plump lips, and mischievous black eyes- If there was anything that made you regret going along with this decision, it was certainly him.

“Seokjin. Let. me. Go.” the venomous words slid through your teeth just as you waved towards the ederly woman in one of the rows and whom you could only assume was the groom’s grandmother.

“sheesh , still bitter I see” He glances down at you, a firm smirk still in its place when he does not-so-exactly as you wished. His long arm that was pressing you rather possessively into his waist loosened its hold and only came to grab your soft empty hand. It gave everyone the simple illusion that you two were a perfect couple when really you were anything but.

It was a couple of years ago in a situation similar to this one, you’d ended up attending a special occasion for an old colleague. It was a birthday party that your classmates happened to be throwing for seokjin and you’d reluctantly allowed your roommates to drag you there. There wasn't really much else to it since you could barely remember, you caved into downing 5 shots as you tried to drown out your boredom and completely blacked out. The only thing you could recall after that mysterious night , was waking up naked and sore next to the birthday boy himself. You’ve both only dated for a couple of months, when rumors of the popular boy’s conquests arose and you were in no mood to deal with them.

In other words- you dumped him.

“Shot of whiskey and make it dark please” you smiled innocently towards the cute dimpled bartender who busied himself cleaning cups. He nods back at you, his blonde hair falling forward as he momentarily slid his eyes over you and you vice versa. He then rolls up his crisp white button up to lean towards you, your eyes running quickly over his name tag that read ‘namjoon’ on it. “Sure thing miss” he sends you a wink , just before turning to prepare the requested drink.

“I wonder. are you going to keep batting your lashes at Virgin- juice boy over here or are you going to keep downing shots until I convince you to let me fuck you somewhere private? Preferably the latter but without the convincing part.” Seokjin’s velvety voice mumbles shamelessly into your ear making you shudder.

“As if that’ll ever happen” you scoff , just as the bartender namjoon hands you the small glass making sure to flash you his dimpled smile one last time. You raise the liquid towards your mouth, downing it in one go. Already the calming sensation spreading up from your legs and throughout your body, making the annoying Ass next you a bit more bearable . Only when you finally notice the long and intimidating gaze he has set on you. You decide to go in for more “ Another please.”

Seokjin’s nearly evil smirk never falters “ If I do recall and I truly do. Pretty little y/n downed 5 of my birthday shots and let me lay between her legs” he says way too loud for your liking. Your cheeks blushed and not from the fact that he just aired your sexual history in front of namjoon (who was handing you your next shot), but that the man had just called you pretty. Even more so that the simple compliment actually had you pressing your thighs together.

“I think we both can agree that years ago pretty little y/n made a huge mistake”

“You’re right about that” he chuckles with a nod. In return you roll your eyes, reaching for the next shot in front of you and downing that one as well. You make eye contact with namjoon once again, his soft eyes connecting with the empty glass in your possession “just one more please” you sheepishly smile and he bites his lip, silently laughing at your cuteness.

Once again a shot glass is slid your way. It was then that you noticed seokjin had moved significantly closer towards, the smell of his intoxicating cologne running up your nostrils and a large flat palm resting on the small of your back. When the hell did he put it there?

“ g-good so we agree. Maybe now you’ll finally leave me the hell alone” you attempt to ease away from him. The familiarity of the situation , bringing lost memories of how you once tried to resist the highly convincing man before.

“I never said that I agreed with what you said y/n…” he says , voice becoming husky and soft. You hated to admit it, but it was pulling you in just like the sensual gaze he never failed to keep on you. You didnt know whether to blame it on the alcohol or that you just havnt had sex about 2 seasons of big bang theory ago.

“Bu-but you just did-”

You were reaching for what was going to be your last shot , when seokjin comes in and snatches it from your grasp. You pout in return , not wanting to have to ask the dimpled boy for another. “I said you were right, only because you did make a mistake. You broke up with me when all I ever did was make you happy. Even worse, you did it right before we graduated and then you blocked me ” the slight sadness in his voice would have had you wanting to console the man had it not been for the fact that he was the one who messed up.

“Seokjin, you cheated on me. Did you really think I was going to stay with you after finding that out?” you sputtered out.

He was midway through downing your shot, when your words had caused him to gasp and choke on the harsh drink. Immediately his cool is lost, the poor man doubling over to hack his lungs out before he oddly finishes it anyway. “I did not cheat on you. Where the hell did you get that stupid Idea?” he frowns rather disappointedly at you.

“Oh please you're just saying that so I’ll let you slip your excited little hands up my dress” you shake your head but a small part of you just can't get over the sincerity that was in his stare. A silent second passes by and seokjin’s trance is broken before he asks you “how did you find out?”.

Your heart skips a beat. His soft voice riddled with no such guilt but he wanted to know how you discovered his unfaithfulness. In his eyes , he now seemed a bit curious more than concerned and it made an unsettling feeling appear in your stomach “I was told.” you swallowed “by some sorority girl - actually she was at your party” you then confessed.

“Blonde hair? Pouty lips.. And a permanent bitch face right?” he lists easily and the description matches the exact culprit who informed you of all his hidden lies. You guessed he must’ve gone off the way your eyes had wavered with uncertainty because seokjin had then let out an incredulous huff of disbelief. He hangs his head , his shoulders shaking from the small laugh that escapes his mouth “y/n. That was my ex” he says finally.

You gasped.

“You let my ex-girlfriend get into your head. If there's one thing I remember about her, its that she’s very manipulative, but also bitter and anyone with common sense knows thats not a good combination” he looks to you, only to see the disheartened look on your face. Your eyes full of guilty sadness now that you easily pieced two and two together.

“I-I dont know what to say-....I’m sorry seokjin” you managed out.

Sure you felt bad but your relationship was years ago. In-fact you’ve barely thought about him since honestly. He smiles tenderly towards you, the warmth from his brown eyes seeping slowly through your guarded shield but only now , you almost don't mind to let it down a bit.

“ Its fine, to be honest I should've known she would try something like that. You were probably too innocent for me anyways- I could’ve ruined you” he jokes though you don't laugh, your mind staying stuck on the innocent part.

“Remember I'm the girl who stole your shots and took you back to her dorm” you say catching both him and yourself completely off guard. Your eyes then widen from the risky remark, heart hammering in your chest when seokjin quirks a teasing brow at you.

You then turn back towards the bar, the dimpled blonde smiling your way when you tap the empty space in front of you “ a double would be great” you say but then for the first time seokjin acknowledges him as well. “Trust me. No it wouldn't.” he smiles a bit too sweet at the poor boy and you notice namjoon’s own smile falter from the slight animosity. Seokjin then grabs at your hand, his thumb slightly stroking the inside of you palm as the other finds its place again on your back. The intimate actions bringing your attention fully back to him when he speaks again.

“Now that the convincing part is done. Lets go somewhere a bit more private”

Honestly if you were shocked by the fact that you’ve once again allowed seokjin slip under your skin...well…that would be perfectly okay. It didn't take a second thought for you to let seokjin lead you to what looked like tiny shed, the both of you slipping in easily unnoticed as everyone else focused on the beautiful couple dancing away into their new marriage.

You're bent over slightly, Seokjin’s hands coming towards your hips to pick them up and raise your ass towards him. Immediately he groans in his spot. the delicious sight of your pussy lips glistening with your arousal reminds him just why he was so fucking whipped for you back then. You were gorgeous...everywhere and his mouth was watering just to get a taste of you again.

A finger swipes gently at your exposed slit, sending a cold shiver down your back from the subtle friction.

“You were always so sensitive for me weren't you baby?” He whispers, but by the way he confidently pushes the Long calloused finger into your unsuspecting hole, his own question is already answered.

“-J-jin…” you grunt out the broken moan in appreciation. His finger is pulling away and pushing right back in , causing you squirm and whimper from the much needed pleasure. “I can't wait to fill you up” a tiny squelch is heard as another finger is added to his torturing movements. His body coming forward onto your bare back and you could honestly melt just from the way it arched perfectly into him.

The tight knot in your stomach begins to loosen as you try your hardest hide your loud whimpers from any outsiders. Your legs trembling and you so badly want him to just fuck you already.

“P-please…” was all you could manage.

Seokjin’s fingers that were once pumping into you at a moderate pace turns to a more vicious route and you can't help but to squeal when the two lengthy digits forces your quivering pussy into its first orgasm in months. It leaves you breathless, weak and you were just about ready to collapse onto the neat shed’s floor.

“ Tsk, You haven't gone soft on me have you?” Seokjin chuckles down at you, a wicked glint prominent in his midnight eyes and when you shake your head in return. you could only shiver as the smile drops and the tiny space goes cold with his next words

“I’m not done with you yet Pretty girl…”

Next thing you knew you were being flipped onto your back and seokjin’s. strong hands had reached greedily for your underwear only to slide them completely off.

He then meets you on the ground, his body leaning back just a bit to unbuckle his black slacks. A noticeable swallow from your end driving the man a bit more mad with lust and he would swear he could cum right then and there just from that cute innocent gaze you were giving just when he pulls himself free.

“O-h…” you could barely say, your mouth completely dry. Your watched anxiously, a bead of precum already oozing out through the thick red Mushroom head of what you could definitely remember was his above average cock. The hard veiny muscle not having any shame to rub said cum swiftly down your exposed slit.

“You’re so fucking pretty baby, did you know long I’ve held this for you?” He growls out, deep carnal lust stuck in his voice as he inches closer above you. You weren't given the chance to answer him because as soon as you could , his fingers had wrapped within your once neat bun to pull your head back even further.

You could only then let out what sounded like a breathy moan. Your lungs almost giving up on you when you feel the head of his cock prying it’s way into you. His mouth laying open mouth kisses onto your exposed neck ,making his way up to towards your chin and finally landing on your mouth.

As much as you wanted to resist his kiss, the way Seokjin’s tongue had begun to dip swirl onto yours had your toes curling just from the passion of it and your entire body melting in pure bliss.

Your legs are spread out a bit wider for him, his hands latching onto the back of your knees to do so. “So cute. So good for me” he whispers out his praises into your ear, his hips jerking forward to shove his member deep into you and you nearly scream from the intrusion. Instantly you feel full, your body humming with pleasure as seokjin finds his paced rhythm. His hips slamming down onto yours with such a force that it has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“ so good! Yes just like that!” You exclaim out to him when the change of his angle only ends with your g-spot getting rammed into over and over.

“Look at pretty y/n. taking Daddy’s big cock like a good girl” he says, each sweet thrust matching his words. It was at this point where seokjin’s hand had ended up slipping from under one of your knees only to drop one of your legs. During the slight mishap seokjin was mid-thrust into you when you yelped and jerked your hips from the even more intense pleasure.

“Oh? Did that feel good baby? Maybe I should make you feel like that some more hmm?” He chuckles when you shake your head. Ignoring your response to switch you on your right side and sit himself on top of your right thigh, your left thigh being pushed against you as he proceeds with his wreckening.

What once was a difficult task had become impossible to withhold your loud moans. The new position allowing him to fuck further into your walls, burying himself to the hilt and maybe even deeper than he probably should be. It has your body jumping, your hands instantly bracing themselves on his highly active hips as tears started to leak from your eyes.

“So fucking cute. Pretty y/n don't ever run from me again - let daddy take care of you.” He pleads and praises you in your ear as he leans forward. “O-Ok-kay!” You unthinkingly gasped trying to catch your lost breath, his surged strokes turning your mind to mush and you could feel your orgasm climbing terrifyingly fast.

“Angh! Jin! Im go-ing to c-cum!”

You didn't have to tell him for him to know. Seokjin could feel his balls tightening with every brutal squeeze of your core- it was like you were trying to milk the man’s dick. He chuckled from the thought, his harsh grunts being masked by an unbelievably deep sexy laugh “thats right baby, milk me. Make me cum S-so I can fill that pretty pussy of yours.”

As if on cue your body gives out. Sweet burning pleasure pushing up throughout your entire body while you thrashed uncontrollably under Seokjin’s relentless thrusts.

“Mmmm!” You screamed, but your mouth is immediately muffled under one of his hands. The grip of it suddenly becoming unbearably tight once seokjin finds his own release in you.

You hold your breath, his body collapsing next to you once he slips out with a satisfied sigh.

“That was....even better than before”

#bangtanarmynet #ksmutclub #thekimlinenet #kim seokjin #bts #bts one shot #bts smut #bts jin #bts imagines #bts memes #bts ot7 #bangtan #bts au #bts scenerio #bts smut dirty #bts fic #bts fanfic #my fic

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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You have done Much Meta for the Mandalorian that I greatly respect and enjoy! Please explain to me the sudden lack of Rifle after episode 4?? He still wears the cartridges for it, Cara didnt have it so he didnt leave it with her, why has his rifle not made an appearance? Seems like it could have been useful a time or two. Or three. Even if he isnt disintegrating people, its still an industrial grade tazer.

Honestly? Probably because the story sort of called for it not to be there haha, it’s a bit like how hyperspace in star wars is just… magic, it takes exactly as long as the plot needs it to every time. The pulse rifle would make a lot of Our Main Boy In The Helmet’s challenges too easy (or too complicated/requiring extra explanation as to why it’s not useful in a given situation), so it’s just not there. It’s still in the concept art for the latter episodes I think, so I’m guessing he’s not carrying it around in the show itself so we won’t go ‘…wait why isn’t he using the rifle here tho’ as easily. That’s the Doylist view! If we were to go more Watsonian and try to make it actually make sense…

a) maybe it was damaged or waterlogged or something during the fight in episode 4 and fixing the issue is tricky/takes resources and equipment that haven’t been available to him? a replacement part that’s rare and incredibly hard to hunt down, something along those lines. this would be super easy to slip in as a quick thing during episode 5, but I guess they do have limited time to work with. it’s shown during the mudhorn fight that the mechanism is if not quite fragile then definitely capable of malfunctioning under difficult conditions.

b) he might be conserving this ammo because it’s really expensive and specialized/hard to find and he’s saving it for when he needs it the most. (…this one is very very thin but um work with me a bit here haha)

c) in some situations I see why he might not have thought it would be suitable; it is a little clunky to carry around and has some serious limitations in where it’s safe/sensible to use. in episode 6 where it’s very close quarters inside the prison ship and he’s told it’s only manned by droids – the taser should still work on them surely but maybe not? and the disintegrating thing might not work well on non-organic things, as seen when he tries to use it on the jawa fortress. on top of that we don’t quite know what happens to stray shots, they might bounce between walls like the blaster bolt is shown to and that wouldn’t be g r e a t for him or the team he’s working with.

episode 5… well I guess fennec shand would be no use to him disintegrated or tasered to death so he decided not to lug it around. he knew her reputation and thus presumably that she’s a sniper and also knew the pulse rifle’s range and scope would likely be no match for whatever she’d be carrying. (what exactly his plan was there initially or indeed if he had one to begin with is anyone’s guess lol)

episode 7 (and thus 8) is uh harder to justify except that it might be seen as a sign of aggression to openly show up with it now that greef karga knows how it works, idk? he knows he’s walking into a trap but he also needs karga’s help or at least temporary cooperation. this is where the ammo conservation theory falls apart completely; if there was ever a time to come prepared with everything he had… I suppose he might be worried that someone else could get their hands on it during the tricky diplomatic process of who’s going to stab who in the back and disarm whom and so on, it’s not so fun when you’re the one being vaporized in one shot.

clearly none of these reasons are terribly convincing, but it’s what I’ve got so far!

TL;DR: They gave Din a cool but ludicrously OP weapon and now they hope like hell no one notices that he doesn’t use it for half the season to maintain narrative tension or that if we do notice we won’t care (like me I’m very *easygoing shrug* about it haha, I’m all about emotional story line first plausible tactical decisions a distant second) or there’s an in-universe explanation that was cut for reasons of time or pacing or something! (and thank you very much, that’s a very kind thing to say about my ramblings!

#Anonymous #if anyone has better ideas please share them! it's not the sort of plot hole that bothers me so I hadn't given it that much thought haha #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian meta

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

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Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

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neuropathicgypsy · 4 years

Text

So there's this guy who isn't so great...

So i saw a photo of him and I'd seen it before but this time i was thinking about some dark shit...

And I realized who he is...

It doesn't always happen that way... Actually... Like it was dark but not bad... Then what i remember was bad...

And so may be this girl was lying and it was the way it was initially with the memories about this guy... And maybe she did deserve her ass beat...

But their relationship wasn't as he wanted me to believe... Like it was more like how she said it was...

And may be 100% like she said... Like maybe it really does only take 20 minutes for an abortion. How would i know? I never had one... Or may be her mom was confused... About what time i dropped her off... Idk im trying to remember 10 years later and frankly i don't even care.

I washed my hands of both of them fully in 2008....

So now randomly he's popped back in my life... And completely random...

I didn't have a problem with him until he kept lying to me... Like for real lies like "I'm coming over" and he doesn't. Like that. Not like i think he's lying... Like its really obvious hes lying... Like its a fact.

Then i was all fuck this shit. And Matt happened to be with him and I waited like 8 hours and he did this huge song and dance and so i told Matt, punch him 5 times, at least 2x in the face.

So Matt did... Cause dam dude it was ridiculous. I already seen him and i already identified his alter ego but i was okay to over look it. Like it wasn't my relationship and it wasn't like it been 10 years since she had him arrested for beating her and i went with her to the court...

Yeah he definitely can't handle alcohol...

Like he would be cool at my house at first but as the night wore on... I would be like 2 hours later... Time for bed and make an excuse of life i had the next day instead of drinking and hanging out all night

He would be all "its nine o'clock!!" And i would be all "yeah Tom, sometimes we all have to grow up and admit responsibility"

Yeah sometimes he was a bitch... Like when i said anything with sense he would be all "i need to duct tape her mouth"

Or that one time he wanted to put me in my kitchen trash bin... I told him i didn't give a Fuck so he put it over my head and i told him to pick up the trash off my kitchen floor and he did then swept it and left a big pile in the floor...

But overall he was just his unique self that i kinda got used to...

Because his drama with my friend was between them -- unless my friend bitched about him later, like when we took the kids to the park, and i tried to help her figure him out.

Anyways so now i know my friend wasn't lying about him...

And i know other shit he did... Like to me...

Cause i actually knew him in Alabama, NYC, Texas, Oklahoma and now here... Like a stalker...

And so i am wondering... Should I tell him what i know? What i remember? The bad things?

Or should i just not?

I wonder if it will do any good... Like Why for put myself through his bull shit when i really just want to be left alone?

Do i want to remember?

No... I don't want to feel my ribs feeling like they're about to break or sharp pains on the side of my head -- the side closest to the wall in the bed so he could say i fell instead of it being on the side where he slept...

Like being drugged... So he can lie as to why he and my ex husband thought it was great to spike drinks.... Like ...

I don't care. I really don't.

He knows what he did and I just want him to go away. Obviously he isn't going to stop... Obviously he shouldn't be around the female human...

But what I'm just gonna pull evidence out his ass? My ass? Prove it?

I really don't think i can...

He already was sentenced 9 months for what he did to my friend.

May be he learned... Idk.

Obviously hes not going to come over and despite his recent meddling, people have come to their senses about him... Like he totally doesn't give a shit about me. Or them.

So obviously i left him when i was younger, between his father and mine, i got out of the house with him and he quickly moved on to "someone better" and he brought her over and the next one an the next cause he thought when i told the girls he beat me, i was jealous and trying to break them up...

When i was saying, I am so glad i left and I'm left alone 90% of the time and he isn't all up my ass bugging me and being weird and hitting me cause he had nothing else to do and no brain activity. And that it could happen to them, too. For no fucking reason.

It took a while, too for his dad to help me understand it wasn't me... Like he was just crazy... Stupid. Jealous. And dumb. Not too long but i did have to be taught that there's no difference between an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend or husband and an abusive parent or sibling. I always thought i really did something wrong

Now I know... I let him live and i was afraid of him and to let the "monster inside of me" out. And i was afraid I wouldn't win and i would die at his hands.

Now I'm not. Now I don't even care although I know for a fact he could probably break my neck in less than 10 seconds... Not because I'm suicidal or don't care about myself.

But because I do care about myself and I know that i can kick his ass. I know i don't have to and i know i can kick his ass soft enough that he behaves better and also that i can kick it so he never breathes again.

Because I'm angry. At what he did to me. Im angry that i believe without a doubt he would do it again if i didn't know all HIS male friends that would kick his ass, without a doubt until he quit bleeding.

Because I'm angryi have to feel the physical pain he did to me and i have to remember the bruises and the tears and the frustration and annoyance and knowledge that i wasn't loved.

Because I'm angry my fucking ribs hurt.

Idk that night he put on his act. I wanted him dead. Like i didn't care. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to care about his life and his safety but I didn't. I hated him. With every cell of my being.

Matt said "i only punched him 2x in the face" i was all go back and hit him 10x in the face!!! Like it wasn't enough and i KNOW Matt did to to what he deserved not tappy tap tap.

I heard that over a week later, on Halloween, his face was still mangled... Like 6 broken noses and 5 black eyes... Like... Obviously he only has one nose and 2 eyes but there was enough damaged tissue for more.

I dont even feel bad... Like i still feel,it isn't enough. Because now i feel pain. And have since Halloween when the people he went to the carnival with left because i left. And haven't seen him since. Because they figured out thwt he was purposely keeping them from me, in line for the Haunted House for nearly 2 hours... I was not gonna stay..,

They could got out of line and sat with me at the fire they gave more logs for and rejoined him when he was near the front... It was cold where they were. They could even had taken turns in line.

It wasn't something i could do... I didn't even know they were there until after I left. All i was told was they would be about an hour... Which made no sense cause i thought they said they were already there... So what for an hour?

For the first time in forever it was just me and my kid for Halloween. We could done anything. My kid actually wanted to do the Haunted House... But didnt want to wait in the 36°F line for over an hour.

Its a good thing they left too, i got beat up in the Halloween Haunted House before, too.... Perfect place... Dark.. Scary... All perfect for "accidents" with no real person to take fault... Just accidents...

So really... I'm like part of me wants to tell him i know what he did...

But more i just want him to not exist.

And then another part of me still likes him and wishes he has grown up and realized he could be better than he allows himself to be. Part of me feels sorry for him.

I know he just wants to be loved and safe Just like we all do...

And I could love him as a friend as I had in the past... Knowing hes not been trustworthy in the past makes it easier to protect myself.

I handled him quite pperfectly 11 years ago... Until my ex husband I was married to then, started encou stupid and dangerous and evil entertainment.

I still don't understand the point to drug someone to have sex with them. Like dude. You're saying you're not good enough to be liked with a person sober and woke and living normal.

So that says a lot about a person... That they have no confidence or true love for themselves.

I been for real single in my house for 10 years...having only long distance relationships. I dont feel the need to drug someone to allow them to like me. They either do or they don't.

Im curious as to why they dont but i dont care. Some people just do not get along with others. Its that simple. I don't like plenty of people and to have to explain myself or be pushed around because of it totally pisses me off. I don't like you, simple as that and I'll hate you before I love you.

I see the most problem with criminals is they dont love themselves but usually demand others to while not believing others do... So they beat them.

Its really really sad. Its horrible. How they can't break that barrier to love just themselves. And then turn themselves into unlovable trash that they shouldn't be.

So at the end of the day, if you don't want to be loved. Then i won't love you.

Its the most difficult lesson a person can learn and its the most saddest and heartbreaking. But also the strongest making, most wisdom learning lesson.

And so I can turn off my feelings, my warmth, my caring for someone whom asks me to. Most especially someone whom has or would try to beat it into me.

Life is: Survival of the Fittest, is it not?

If you cannot love yourself, cherish yourself enough to take risks then you cannot survive.

If you cannot believe you are loveable then your actions will cause you to not be loveable.

But yet people like Jesse James and "Tom" don't have a problem with being greedy and asking for more and more and more. Like vampires with empty souls sucking down unicorn blood in the forest like they want to live on a page of a Harry Potter novel.

And so my question is, do i tell him what i know he did to Me? Or does he just want to relish in the delight of what he got away with so that He can devise ways to lie to make me some sort of pawn in his life, someone to use?

Why waste my time?

Friday in about 15 seconds i lost my child support check... While looking for it lost another check for $2.40...Then at the bank moments later literally $5 disappeared from ny hands.

Then the next day i had taken off my shoes in the Wal-Mart wheel chair shopping cart... While wheeling around... Lost my dam shoe.

I didn't even bother to look for it.

And my cat was kidnapped... Then i sent someone to fetch him... "Tom" let him get kidnapped again... Then he got fetched again.... And i have yet to see him... So im like what the fuck? Its been over a week... I tried Thursday night to go ask the neighbors but all the gates were locked...

Then i got this like flue feeling thing where i want to puke all day and all these body aches and I just want to sleep.

And Every thing is pissing me off...

And know why? Cause this curse if u dont acknowledge the dead on Halloween with a fuckking Hello then i get all this bad luck. Happens every time.like excuse me ass holes i deal with you 300 days a year and i can't have one with my kid?!

Its absolutely ridiculous

So id much rather sleep then to decide to care about someone whom has shown they do not care about me.

But is it wrong?

Should I tell him all those hits and attempts at giving me amnesia were temporary and i know exactly who he is and that he's still lying and that I know he was all trying to marry my friend then still get with me?

His dad says that he knew hitting me made me leave so that's why he hit my friend. And his dad says that she wasn't pregnant and that same as at my house it was more all over him than him on her... Unlike when he was with me

And i know i still have a lot of memories that don't fit right that are messed up.

But I know exactly what happened between Sara and Tom according to Sara's words to me. Because that part of my memories have never been affected. Even if i was drinking... Because i didn't drink a lot because i get migraines if i do. Mostly wine coolers or rum and juice...

Plus there was two adult sized male idiots, a seemingly whore type person and then 3 children 2 under the age of 5. So obviously someone who wasn't stumbling and posing a threat to the kids by falling over on themselves had to be present.

I just got drunk enough... So that i really didnt give a shit about all the stupidity I saw in the adults around me. And could say shit like "you know Sara, sometimes you're really dumb. Hes told you like 40 times to get off him and you're still on him So when tomorrow you're all black and blue and he says you tripped going down the stairs and i saw you walk down them just fine, I'm not really gonna care. I mean its not like he told you or anything. 46 times"

But while sober... I would worry why he was so mean to his girlfriend. Why she would always be rejected by him. And why she would allow herself to be treated so horrible. If my friend told me always to get off them, i would feel sad. Sometimes I have had to tell my kid not to touch or lean on me because i have pain... But i try to adjust so that they can... As i have a lot of numb spots next to highly painful areas.

But between Tom and Sara... I felt it was weird,volatile and and dangerous. And they shouldn't be together.

I even asked him once cause Sara would go inside with my ex a lot... Hmmm.. Idc.

"Why don't you like Sara to touch you?" And his face would be red.

And i would say " okay so then when do you like Sara to touch you?" Cause then i would tell her So she could get her affection...

And it was always difficult to get him to talk about himself.. Until for two nights I didn't talk to him and when we we're alone after he kicked me under the table most of the night, all angry in my face why i wouldn't talk to him...

"Oh why because you called me duct tape for 6 months telling me not to talk to you. And then when I did or have tried to "get close to you" as i would a friend, you just sit there all dopey and smile and don't even answer a question i ask you"

You know then sara comes out and says i said he was on dope.

And she denies it...and I'm tired of her being oblivious to every dam thing on the fucking planet. And i straight out accuse them both of being on meth...

And so while trying to faceplant herself on his Dick shes all "we should leave"

So then i throw them out and they both refuse to move. What. The. Fuck.

He claims hes afraid to leave cause she is all dopey on his Dick.... And hes all shes gonna rape m3 and all tries to,hide behind me,touching my body to use me as a shield and tries to jump over the railing of my porch!!! But acts like hes afraid to and asks my permission like 14 times. Dude you're a grown ass man why the fuck are you asking that's dumb. We were on the lower level anyway. Literally 4 steps, including the top.

It always seemed that stupid and annoying.

So i really didn't care when he went to jail, sentenced for 14 months and got out in 9..

Or when on New Year's Eve, i took her and her kids Christmas presents and she hadnt got any of us anything... And I had bought and took her cigarettes and she didn't want to share when i ran out... Or when I said we needed to leave because my kid wanted to go home and she told me that I was being a bad friend because I'm a good mom... Because I was going to leave... Then we went to the bonfire which my kid liked and so Sara said if i wanted to smoke her Winstons... Then i had to go get them and she threw them .... Because she was jealous all her neighbors were talking and laughing with me because i actually do know how to socialize.

And i quit being friends with her that night.

Left .... And every time she text me after i just told her to shut up and fuck my husband....but she didn't know because shes so sef absorbed that 2 months prior I told him i wanted a divorce.

On Thanksgiving.

In front of my uncle....

And so... Still... Should I tell him I think he's a complete ass hole with something to hide or a chicken shit that is making it look like he does.... And allow him to explain himself or not...

Because I a fucking tired of him trying to get into my brain. Hes all hiding. I'm not.

I heard in 4 months he hit me 15 occasions... I used the calculator and it was once every 8 days. I was 16. He was 23.

That enough makes me want to not talk to him. But i also don't want him to be all well that's your fault Sabrina. And blame me all kinds because I gave him a chance. I gave him a 100% chance.

Then when he blew me off more than once,including in DM.. I was all forget you then.... But then when I said i didn't want to fuck him, he lost his Goddam mind. Like dude... So yeah... When were we ever going to anyways when you can't even drive to someone's house? Or set up a date and actually go to it? It was So irrational the way he reacted. What? I'm a cum bucket? Like what he's gonna random run into me at Wal-Mart an pound me from behind in the family bathroom while i hold onto the toilet seat??

Seriously. Hes not rational

So I'm like to tell him what I've been told by th3 dead and what i remember... Its just a waste of effort, isn't it?

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jising-jisang-jisung · 5 years

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Sugar Lips | Huang Renjun

Genre: floof

Word count: 1.7k

A/n: this is one of the longest fics I've ever written and not at all based off of a boy from my school whom I dislike sorry about the rushed ending I didnt know where I was going with that :/

~~~~~

You and Renjun had never gotten along. He sat behind you in math and was constantly picking on you. Yeah, you could have destroyed him with some sick burns, but you held your tongue out of consideration for his gigantic ego. Half the school thought you two liked each other and the other knew that yall were mortal enemies. The thought of you liking Renjun made you want to stab your eyes out with sporks. However, you couldnt deny that Renjun was hot. Like, this boi had been hand sculpted by God himself. Seriously damn. You had to give credit where credit is due. But, as I said, you do NOT like Renjun.

After the rumors started that you and Renjun like each other, you tried to react less to him. You no longer argued and paid little attention to him. Much to your dismay, your teachers seemed to find your ability to ignore Renjun as a good quality that most of the others students lacked. This resulted in you sitting by him in most of your classes. But obviously you didnt let this affect you. You just had to sit there and pay him no attention. Easier said than done. You were always trying to not notice him, despite always looking at him because hes hot.

One night your friend, let's call her Ryn for fun, forced you out to a party and then ditched you. Skew you, Ryn! You weren't the biggest fan of parties so you sat on one of the counters in the kitchen, by yourself, patiently waiting for Ryn to be ready to leave. That's when something caught your eye. Renjun was also alone in the kitchen and he was looking right at you. Or at least, you thought he was, but he could easily be looking at something else. Why would he be looking at you anyways? You looked back down at your drink, avoiding any eye contact with the boy you have to ignore.

By this point in the year, you had gotten very good at ignoring him. You didnt even notice when he started walking towards you. And you didnt even react when he grabbed your hand. You paid him no attention as he led you into an empty room. All you had to do was not pay attention to Renjun. That's seriously all you had to do. So you didnt pay attention to him as he leaned towards you. But he grabbed your chin, causing you to look him in the eye. Shoot. Just dont react, you thought to yourself. You tried not reacting as he leaned closer and closer. Until..

He stopped? "Do you want me to stop" he asks innocently, a blush leaking onto his cheeks. Okay stay calm, just dont do anything rash- You tried to tell yourself but instead you grabbed his shirt in a fist and pulled him until the little space between you was now nonexistent. His lips were sweet, like sugar. They were as forbidden as they were sweet. And you were completely aware that you should not be doing what you were doing. Yet, you did not pull away. Thankfully, neither did Renjun. He just wrapped his arms around your waist and held you as close as he physically could.

The next thing you knew, your phone was going off. The musical tone signaling a call from Ryn who, to your dismay, was ready to leave and looking for you. Renjun took a small step back, wiped his mouth, and walked out of the room you to had shared. He didnt even say anything. Confused, you left as well, in search of Ryn. You found her by the door and explained everything that happened on your way home. Leaving out no details, it was a bit hard to believe considering Renjun was known to be you mortal enemy. What will happen when you sit by him in class tomorrow? Will he say something about it to embarrass you? Or will he stay quiet and pretend it never happened? Oh gosh, what if he says it was only because he was drunk? Thinking back to your memory, his mouth didnt taste like alcohol at all, so even if he tried to blame it on drinking, it wasnt feasible. But now you were thinking about kissing him,,, and that thought didnt go away easily.

You walk into your first class to see him already there surrounded by the other boys. You had planned to avoid eye contact and avoid him in general because you were worried about what he would do. But you locked eyes and to your dismay, he just smirked. Dare you say, is was a really handsome smirk too. Luckily nobody was paying attention so this interaction went unnoticed as you sat at your seat beside him.

Half the class went by without mishap and you hoped you would never have to deal with Renjun again. However, you are not that fortunate. He slid you a note discreetly.

Y/N, for acting like you have a pole stuck up your ass 80% of the time, you're a surprisingly good kisser ;)

You tried so hard to hold yourself back. To not react. To go back to how things were with Renjun as your enemy of mutual disgust. But you could help but write back.

Only 80% of the time?

You busy later?

I am completely free tonight

Good, my family is out for the night

And then the bell rang and you were off to your next class which you didnt have with Renjun. Before you knew it the school day had ended and you were rushing to leave. Maybe you were going too fast because you didnt see the person in front of you until after you ran right into them.

"Y/N! Can you fucking watch where you're going?!" Renjun said. You were taken aback by his antics because he was acting so weird in your classes today. I guess this makes it seem like nothing has changed between you two to the rest of the school.

"Watch where you're going, Renjun, you stepped out right in front of me." You spit back before you walked away without another word.

You arrived at Renjuns house around 5. When he opened the door, you could tell he was nervous but tried to play it off. You wanted to kiss him again, but he hadnt made another move. Yolo! You grabbed his shirt in a fist and aggressively pulled him towards you. His eyes were big, surprised by your actions. He kissed you back more delicately than before. It was as if he was no longer fueled by the lust he had at the party.

Renjun was the first to pull away. His face was bright red as he invited you further into his home. "Are you hungry?" He asked. "Yeah, maybe a little" He then went to his kitchen and got some snacks. "Listen, Y/N" his voice was shakey, "I know that we made out at that party and we havent really gotten along before but what I'm trying to say is" his eyes fell to the snacks in his hands, "I actually like you." Your jaw actually hit the floor when he admitted this. Obviously your reaction didnt do much help for Renjuns nerves. He scratched the back of his head when you didnt respond and spoke again, " I know I act like I hate you and that's because you hate me, dont you? So I'm not expecting you to like me, but I just thought I'd let you know the truth."

You couldnt believe what the boy was saying. Right now he looked so shy and small compared to his usual cocky, confident self. "I dont hate you, Renjun." You tried to say but it only came out in a whisper. His face lit up. "You dont, well then I have a slight chance- shit I meant to say that in my head" Yeah, this boy is supposed to be your enemy, but you have always found him attractive. You spent years pretending to hate each other because you both thought that the other did. Maybe Renjun isnt as bad as you thought. You decided to see where this would take you. "Do you wanna watch a movie?"

Again, his face lit up as he smiled at you handing you a bag of gummy worms, "Thatd be great."

You two wound up picking out a movie that you barely remember because you're sitting very close to Renjun. You cant help but stare, and your heart flutters a little. He turns to look at you, catching you off guard, meeting eyes. This time he took the initiative and grabbed either side of your face and kissed you softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck with your hands playing with his hair. Before you knew it the movie had ended and the credits were playing. You pulled away from Renjun a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen while you had been kissing. You didnt want to leave but it was a school night and you had to get home. You smiled shyly as you stood from his couch. "I'll see you tomorrow." Renjun nodded and followed you out, watching as you drove away.

The next day when you entered your class, Renjun was already there, again. But this time he got up from the group of boys and came over to you. He smirked before grabbing your hand and kissing your cheek. Queue everyone's reactions ( .O.) You knew he was just playing it cool but you were still blushing like you have too much blood in your body and it happens to all be in your face. Some people claimed they called it or knew or whatever. None of that was important to you two.

Yall would go on cute dates pretty much anywhere. The park, a picnic, the arcade, literally anywhere was fun with Renjun. Sometimes you'll even go to his house just to nap and cling onto him. Due to this, Renjun bought you a big plushie to hug for whenever he cant be there for you. What I'm trying to say here is that you two are goals and cute af and so on.

#nct dream #nct #nct renjun #renjun #renjun imagines #renjun fluff #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers renjun #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #huang renjun

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voracious-pumpkira-starr · 4 years

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VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

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mare-sanguis · 5 years

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Winston x Monty, Part VII

Clay and his friend met up at Monets. He wanted to inform them about what happened- unaware that Charlie and Tyler were involved in it too.

The tension was undeniable heavy between them all. All this was finally over but they still had this weird feeling that maybe one day the truth would come out. So they all were extremely careful.

"So why are we here? And whats up with this dark bad mood?" Zach said, side-eying Alex.

"Justin and I have to tell you guys something." Clay answered.

"What?"

"Well... Justin and I got a visit from somebody yesterday."

"Who?" Everyone in the round asked.

Justin sighed.

"Montys ex-lover. Winston."

All went silent. Alex whispered something along the line that this doesnt mean anything good.

Charlie nervously looked around, as well as Tyler.

"Guess you two arent the only one. He visited us too yesterday."

"What the heck?" Alex looked around.

"Why would he visit you guys?" Jessica asked, out of curiosity.

Clay shrugged. "I dont know- Justin doesnt know and I bet these two dont know either."

"But what did he tell you Charlie?"

"I dont know exactly. It was all a little cryptic. He said something along the line that its wrong to frame a dead person... he not literally said I should feel bad for it but it sounded like it. He implied it."

"Oh sounds like hes seeking for revenge? What about you Tyler?"

"Winston told me that he wanted to turn himself in. Because he realised that what he did was wrong."

Justin was silent this whole conversation. His mind drifted away. Away to what Winston had told him about Monty. So he didnt pay any attention to his friends.

"Justin- hey are you listening ?" Clays voice brought him out of his daydreams.

"Yeah- no- what?"

"You didnt told me what he told you. You just said he talked to you."

Justin shook his head.

"Nothingwe dont know already. That he had a pretty bad childhood."

Clay wasnt buying it, Justin knew.

Charlie took a deep breath.

"Hey uhm... theres something I wantedto show you. Winston gave it to me. This..." he placed an envelope on the table. "Its... its just weird."

Behind them, they could hear the door open up.

"Might if I join the loser club ? Clay invited me too and I thought I shouldnt miss the opportunity to see my old friends."

Scott said, pointing out the word "friends" as if it was something toxic. He than sat down on the empty chair at the end of the table.

Alex already looked pissed.

"What up with the mood over here? Somebody died again? As far as I can count all losers are together." He smiled, obviously joking around.

"No. Cut it with your bad jokes. We were in the middle of something." Alex said annoyed.

"Well. Continue. I wont interrupt." He shrugged and leaned back.

"Its not funny." Alex said again.

"Do I look like I want to joke around?"

They stared at each other for some seconds.

"Yeah well I know what youre thinking."

"Guys come on... stop this bullshit. We're here for something else." Clay raised his voice like the good mom he was.

Charlie opened up the envelope and pulled out one single uno reverse card.

"Oh? What'cha got there Charlie? This game doesnt work with just one card."

Scott scoffed- he just thought that this whole situation was kinda funny.

"Scott damn- shut the fuck up."

"Sorry." He shut up and started to analyze everyones reaction. Wow how he enjoyed seeing them confused like this.

"This was the only thing he gave me."

Scott just shook his head. Funny how they didnt know the one who gave Winston this card was sitting in front of them. No other than himself. Funny that this whole table was full of hypocrites. Luckily he never saw himself as one of their friends so he wasnt snitching on their back. He chuckled, a bit to loud. It didnt get unnoticed.

"Whats so funny huh?" Zach sounded like he was about to pick up a fight. Just because Alex was annoyed by Scotts presence.

"Maybe all of you are overreacting. Maybe hes just making fun of you."

"Scott... why the fuck are you even involved in this?" This was the first time Tony said something.

"Because Clay told me."

"Oh wow. Great." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Dont treat me like one of your enemies- I did stupid things too but I'm sorry. I told you already. I tried to help to find the polaroid. I dont tell anyone."

"What ever."

"I wonder..." Justin started. "Did he visited you too?"

"Winston? No. Why would he?"

"Because it seems like hes hunting everyone down who was involed in the drama surrounding Bryce or friends with Monty. And you two were pretty close."

"No. As I said. I doubt that he even knows about me."

Alex smiled for some brief seconds.

"How does it feel knowing hes dead?"

Scott looked straight at him.

"Wow Alex- chill." Zach laid a hand on his shoulder.

"No. I want to know- how does it feel to know he did something like that? Still being in contact with him after all. How does it feel knowing hes dead?"

Scott, still wearing a poker face leaned forward.

"I dont know why the fuck your so salty at me but... how does it feel to have blood on your hands? Knowing that you killed someone? Pinning it on someone else just because you dont want to pay the price?"

Now it was Clays turn to put a hand on Scotts shoulder.

"Ssshhh calm down. Both. For gods sake please."

"You know I thought you guys were decent human beings. What a waste of time- get your shit together." He stood up.

"Monty was a friend. And what he did was wrong. But that doesnt mean I cant be mad."

He then left the cafe.

"Will he shut up?" Alex sounded concerned.

"Yeah. He will" Clay just simply said.

___

It was late afternoon as they left Monets and went separate ways.

"Theres something you didnt tell me. You're hiding something."

"About what?"

"About what Winston told you."

"I already said everything."

"Didnt we swore not to have any secrets?"

Justin sighed.

"Look. We dragged someone who was already dead into something he never did and probably never could have done. Yes- I... together with Ani- planned this whole thing but know... I think it was wrong. But I wont turn anyone in."

"You didnt answer my question. What was it he told you?"

"Why are you so desperate to find out?"

"Because I'm trying to understand."

Justin sighed again.

"Winston is fucking mad at us for pinning the murdern on Monty. Thats why he does it. He loved him."

"Yeah but why would he love him? After all he did?"

"Clay how the hell should I know? I cant look into Winstons head but I guess he saw something in Monty we never did."

"Cant imagine that."

"Yeah and just because you cant means that no one else can? Winston told me about Montys childhood. That his father had a pretty creepy friend- this friend knew about Montys little secret. And took advantage of it. Winston told me that Monty was sexually abused too. After the assembly you damn well know that this is a touchy subject for me."

Clay just looked at him- he knew that Justin wasnt finished.

"I mean... it was wrong doing this to Tyler.... but wasnt it also wrong for a father to treat his son like this just because hes different and not living up his expectations? Is it ok for a kid to endure this all? That his father never cared? Monty was his own greatest enemy. Like Winston said he was much more weaker than me. I turned to drugs, eating up my pain. He let his anger free. So that everyone around him suffered to. It doesnt excuse his shitty behavior towards us all and the attack on Tyler... I just wonder if he would have beem able to change? With a better surrounding, better friends. A supporting family. You cant compare him to Bryce... or me. It doesnt work like that."

"Justin... you regret covering up what Jess and Alex did?"

"I dont know - I'm torn in two... I feel bad. Kinda. You understand?"

"I do..."

They went home together.

While Scott and Winston met at the police station.

Scott greeted Winston.

"You made it."

"Well sure- its imporant to tell the truth." Winston said.

"You know Clay invited me over to a meet up. I went. And I sae whom you gave the card to. Why Charlie?"

"... He deserved it. He snitched behind his back. And he was the last on my list anyway. He needed to see that everything comes back with a little bit more backfire."

Scott chuckled.

"What is this list even about?"

"I visited everyone who stood near him- more or less. Clay knew about Montys and my thing. Justin was friends with him. Charlie was the only person je trusted, Tyler his victim. And I visited Deputy Standall too. Just to clarify some things. Thought about visiting Alex and Jessica too but then I realised that they're going to be in trouble soon enough."

They walked towards the door.

"When we're finished there... Theres another thing I have to tell you..." Winston whispered.

#winston williams #monty de la cruz #scott reed #13 reasons why #13rw #13 reasons why season 3 #13rw s3 #13rw season 3 #13rw season 3 spoiler #13rw s3 spoiler #13 reasons why season 3 spoiler #one shot #fanfiction

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everbayou · 5 years

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Why I Started This Blog and the Unexpected Outcome

Journeys can be very interesting. You just never know where you could end up.

Part of my journey started with falling in love. A love that will probably prove eternal. I have a rather mixed up family: my mother was adopted and I don't really know her too well. Being born in Tucson, Arizona, I grew up wondering where her side of the family came from but she had no interest in knowing; my parents divorced when I was three. My single father and I moved to San Diego, California when I was five years old. My fathers side is Italian and Lithuanian, with the first family settlers taking root in Chicago, Illinois. I lived with a feeling of missing half of yourself and it is a strange and empty feeling.

An even stranger feeling is being contacted through social media by someone who says they are a sister you never heard of. That happened to me a little over 6 years ago. My mother was a bit of a rolling stone and she accumulated 5 children that I knew of. Turns out there was a 6th that she gave up for adoption when she was 17-18.

My eldest sister and I met when I was still living out in California. I met her, her son and her husband. We clicked right away and were amazed by how much we had in common. She lived out in Louisiana and a year later I went out to visit.

My first trip to Baton Rouge and New Orleans ended with me being enamored by the beauty and culture of the area. I'll be damned if it wasnt love at first sight. That's what started this blog and constant love letter to the great state of Louisiana. Sure it has its issues, but when you strip it down to its bare bones and get to the essence of it, it's just beautiful.

My sister is considered a Yankee from Chicago, though she has lived in Louisiana for about 15 years. When she was still in High School she made her first trip to the state and made it back as often as she could. It's almost like a vodoun spell that affects anyone who enters. I myself have tried to go back at least once a year since my first visit.

To get back to what started it all, I wanted to know where my mother came from and where half of me originated. I purchased a DNA kit through 23andme and became linked to people who didnt share DNA with my father or his side. I sent out a few messages to my cousins but no one knew how we were linked. Last year I gifted my sister with a kit as well since we don't share the same father and 13 years separate us.

My sister also sent out messages and after a few months one of the cousins finally responded and gave her some info to get started. She ran with it and dug and dug for months until she finally got in touch with the right people to find out who our grandparents are.

They came from Kentucky, bloody Breathitt County to be exact. A land where many children were given up or sent to live with cousins when times got tough. My grandfather was a womanizer and alcoholic, and my grandmother had an unknown amount of children whom she gave up almost all of them for adoption. We know of at least seven but suspect more.

Ultimately what this really did is open a whole treasure trove of family history. We had a great grandmother who was killed by moonshiners while they raided a jail in Kentucky to free their brethren. We found out that one branch of the family owned plantations in the deep south before the War of Southern Independence. Ancestors served in the Revolutionary war and the Civil war, on both sides. They came from England way back when.

Probably the most interesting member of our family was a man named Charles Rochon, my seventh great grandfather, who helped to found the current location of Mobile, Alabama back when it was still part of the Louisiana territory. He accompanied Henri de Tonti, the Italian explorer in service of France on many of his expeditions exploring the Louisiana Territory. The Rochon's owned town homes in the French Quarter of New Orleans after the great fire of 1788, and stayed there often.

We discovered that all along we had a connection to Louisiana founded in our family blood and were drawn back to the state in our own ways and along our own journey's. Life has a funny way of connecting people and you just never know where you'll end up.

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

Nightmare

Warnings- Non Con situation, involved around Y/N dealing with aftermath of Survival. Sensitive subject. Personally I just felt like Y/N trauma needed to be told.

Im hesitant to add tags, but I will, can choose to read or not.

Word Count- 2413

Would it ever end?

You laid there limp as the beast of a man rutted into you, his breath hot and sour washing over your face and you could imagine it tangling in your hair, never to escape the feel of it huffing from him. His hands pawing at you, rough bruising grasps and sharp stings to constantly bring you back to attention on him, not even giving you the freedom to loose yourself in your mind. “Your such a good fuck” He grunted out, the face looming above you greedily taking it all in. Dirty, you felt ruined at this point and no longer tried to fight it. Oh you did at first, but there sheer size and overall health made them stronger, and knowing that they had nothing to fear, there viciousness in what they could do was unbound. In hours they broke you all over, you knew your nose and possibly cheek bone was busted, marks covering your body, and mentally, well that shattered last. After they told you how Curtis was basically alone and they been toying with him.

"You really think hes coming back Doll, dontcha?" He leaned in close to your face, trying to catch your lips as you turn your head away.

"Awww Sid, this little cunt here dont know no better. We be keeping tabs on you tail enders. Easy to pay for information back here." Your gut sank, cause people were desperate enough, it would be easy.

"He ain't getting there darling." His fingers grabbed your chin to make you look at him, drive his point home. "He will be dragged back here and bullet between his eyes. Way it always been. Now, you gonna be my sweet lil hunny, or we gotta keep breaking you in?"

Someone end it please.

Finally he got off you, his hand planting against your chest to leverage, his weight made all the air rush out and make you gasp "awww I knew you liked that baby by all those little noises" he laughed and twisted your hip enough to spank your ass "best youve ever had, I can tell." Tucking himself away, he left you alone and for a moment your just quiet, but the shock wears off and a sob breaks, making you roll to your side and pull up your legs, your body racked with pain. Fuck you needed it to end.

Laying in the middle of the aisle, you prayed one of the survivors of the most recent massacre got the children away, they unfortunately had to witness the execution style killings, you didnt want this atop of it. Moments later you felt a pair of hands grasp your coat and you flinch.

"Y/N, ssh its just Sara." The woman crooned and you tipped your head to look at her.

"Hide, get out of sight or else... " it was a dangerous time to be a survivor.

"I will, I cant leave you here for when they come back, your bunk isn't far. Out of sight, out of mind right?" She pushed on you to get you to move, and unsteadily you pull yourself up. It wasnt that far. And if this was gonna be it, you might as well be where you were happiest. Together you shuffled down the aisle. Looking up, the climb seemed so much longer then usual and Sara glanced up to what you were looking at. "What about Edgars bunk?"

"No, I can make it.... I want to be home." Your voice had a hint of a plea, and she nodded.

"Okay, brace your foot there and I will help push you up."

After a few moments, you rolled into yours, and hearing someone clamping up the aisle, Sara disappeared from sight. Please keep going, please keep going.... You got lucky, they didn't stop.

Laying in the bunk, you roll to your back to look up, it was familiar. You could feel yourself slightly loosening, letting the pain creep in slowly. First it was the physical, your fingers lightly probing your face and wincing at even the slightest touch. Your fingers came back sticky, blood. You thought it had dried but the cut must have reopened.

Touches flowed down your body and you sobbed, trying to muffle with your sleeve over your face. What were you going to do? You didnt want to tell Curtis. Fuck, Curtis, was he even still alive? If he wasn't, it would end you. Your brother was taken, your parents executed... Curtis was whom you had left.

In this moment you couldnt help but be mad he wasn't here, scared that he might not come back, and shock settling in due to the past 6 hours? 12 hours? You had no idea how long its been anymore.You lost track when they lined up the car with the people to be executed, one by one they crumbled. You had seen it before once, but all that followed. Tears started blurring your vision and you twisted to your side, tucking your legs in against your stomach, small, fetal, can you disappear if you try hard enough?

Lifting your gaze, one of Curtis coats was nearby and you reached to grasp it. Dragging it over yourself, you tuck yourself tighter, able to hide yourself under it entirely.

It was familiar, the scent enclosed you, the slight scratchy wool rough against your cheek, you didn't care about the pain. Rubbing your face in it, feeling it dry your tears. The weight of it, almost like Curtis was right there.

Hand splaying against your stomach "I got you baby, it was just a nightmare." Warmth against your back and the feeling of his beard scratching lightly against your neck, whispering to you. "Can you tell me Babygirl?"

The silence stretched out the seconds. You wanted to, but your words were lost. He didnt push yet, kissing your shoulder. His fingers sought out your skin underneath, rubbing gently along your hip, then along your ribs. It was gentle and calming, you finally loosened enough to speak.

"Same as always, going through the cars to find Matt. But can never find him. I cant ever find him." Twisting to face him, he tugs you in against him, hiding your face against his chest, his arms tightened instinctively around you. "The worst is I just don't know. If hes dead, then hes gone." Your voice cracks, guilt seeping in your tone, muffled in his shirt. "But what if Matt's alive Curtis? And he is waiting for me. All this time waiting..." Drifting off, he leans back slightly and looks down at you, right now you look so small in his arms.

"Y/N, babygirl you did all you could that day. Wilford plays god for now and takes what he wants. But it won't always be that way. Matt won't hold it against you that your trapped here"

Silent you listen and nod against his chest, he turned and laid on his back, letting you get comfortable again, you knew he was right. There really wasnt anything more to be done that day.

You smiled slightly at the memory, albiet sad it still was one you fell back on. It blossomed an ache of familiarity in your chest, always taking care of someone he was.

You were currently trying to wash dirty rags for the sick bay your parents managed, a few bunks set aside for when people shouldnt be in the general population. Wringing the rags out, you couldnt help but hear a little girl somewhere in the shadows sniffling. Before you could go find her to see if she was okay, Curtis had heard her as well. You simply watched, this was the first time you have seen him interact with the children since what had happened in the beginning, normally he tried to avoid them, as well as there parents urging there children to stay away from well everyone.

“Hey, why you crying?” He moved to slide down onto the floor, sitting next to the little girl, holding something in her lap.

“My dolly broke, and I cant fix her.” She held up a barbie doll that had seen better days. Its hair was matted, scuffed and the normal tan looking doll was almost black. She was a well loved toy though, so few and far between, it was probably one of the few still existing on the last car. Curtis reached for the doll and the arm that had popped off.

“Well now lets see what we can do.” He studied it a moment, his brows coming together in concentration, and the little girl shuffled in closer, watching his hands work on the arm just as closely as he was, her tears catching just enough light to sparkle as the remainder got caught in her lashes, all but forgotten now. Suddenly there was a triumphant grin, and a squeal of happiness from the girl as she sprang up, holding out her hands to retrieve her doll joyfully.

“You did it! You fixed her!” She lunged to hug him and ran off, calling a name you didnt catch. Curtis just watched her dissapear. You step out from where you had been watching, hands to hips, grinning.

“Well arnt you a hero.”

Catching him by surprise, a bit of pink rising to his face and he pushed up off the floor, scowling a bit. “It was nothing”

“Uh huh, tell that to her.”

He gave a shrug and tried to change the subject. You let him, but you certainly werent going to forget it.

Sighing to yourself, you stretch your legs out a bit, wincing at the stiffness and aches settling in your thighs. It had grown quiet in the car, sometimes a broken sob broke from somewhere, and you covered your ears for now to block it out.

It was one of those rare times they held a meeting outside of Gilliams section, McGregor laying out his idea of getting out of the last car. You were hiding in one of the bunks, just watching the men and women hash out there ideas, your father planning on going to help with the wounded along the way “We will bring up the back, my wife and I so just leave them there. We can have survivors patched up and brought back.”

“We will set you up a team for that, now we need people who can follow me in the charge, just know...” The man looked around the group. “This will be the worst casualties. They out weapon us on every level. All we have is surprise.”

There were mummers of concerns and volunteers, and much to your worry and not so much surprise, you heard Curtis voice ring out. “Let me in the front, Im one of the strongest you got”

Leave it to him to be ready to sacrifice himself.

Later you caught up with him, tugging on his coat. “Curtis, you dont have to do that, go with McGregor. You can help us with the injured.” Maybe your fear was making you ask the impossible, cause his glance at you told you what you already knew. There was no way he would be staying behind.

“I have to Y/N, theres already not many who can and if we have a shot at getting out of this car, we have to take it. Regardless of the casualties.” He simply stated. His next words still hurt thinking about them. “Besides, I have alot to make up for, this is the least I can do.”

And there it was, that guilt he carried with him. It ate at all the good he ever did, and not even if you screamed it at him, would he ever forgive himself. Youve caught him, when he didnt think anyone was paying him any mind look at any of you like he didnt deserve you all, You, Tonya, Edgar, Gilliam.... That he was a man who it would all be taken away at any moment, cause of his past. “Curtis it was so long ago, no one blames you for it, hell we all would be guilty.”

“It wasnt that long ago Y/N” And that was it, he was done talking.

Dropping your hands from your hands, you listen and there it is, thump thump thump, echoing footsteps seeking the bunks. It would only be a matter of time before they came to yours. You scootch over by the wall, keeping the jacket over yourself and fisting it in your hands, unwilling to loosen your grip on it.

It was so dark, you couldnt see him over you, but you could feel him. Every brush of his hand gentle as they brought you back down, his lips covering your neck with a groan before he sank over you, smothering you for the moment, and made you feel protected, safe, cherished. You loved the feeling of his weight pinning you in place, and if he wanted to stay like that, You would have happily done so. But all to soon he shifted to the side, not wanting to hurt you being pinned underneath and you roll in against him, not wanting to loose that contact.

When you moved back against him, his hand moved into your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands, he always loved the softness, the feeling of it. Claimed it was the softest thing he had felt in years and would run his fingers through it till long after youve fallen asleep.

“I love you Y/N”

“I love you to Curtis” Kissing his neck as you press in close and a smile is pressed to his jawline, you two had just started really saying it and it still gave you the flutters hearing it.

The footsteps stop and you can hear your curtain being ripped from where it was hanging. Seconds, it was all you had left before Curtis coat was ripped off from your shaking body, no matter how tight your grip was. “Ahhh, there you are! was wondering where you done crawled off to.” There was no where else to go, and a hand twisted in your hair, dragging you to fall out of your bunk, landing on your back with a wink knocking thump, leaving you gasping to try and breath again. No! your mind screams, but again your left without a way to escape.

All you can do is fall back into your memories as much as possible.

@jtargaryen18 @curtisbbq

@what-is-your-plan-today

#curtis everett x reader #curtis everett #snowpiercer #trauma

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lenalvthor · 5 years

Note

Ayyyyy, so idk of this is the right blig, but if you wanted ideas for little mini fics relating to the hsau, I'd love to see how Sara and Ava's relationship was before the whole thing with Ava's coming out. Anyway, I love the fic and I hope you have a wonderful day!

hi!! 💛apologies for leaving this in my inbox for so long, this last week has been a ROLLERCOASTER but i promise you, i did see this and get very excited abt it and send it to rachel and we were both freaked out a bit abt getting prompts for the fic

so we have many, many ideas about pre-fic avalance in this au. like Many. many to the point that we don’t have the time to write an actual mini fic about it because the fic would be the furtherest thing from mini. also, bc it would be rlly weird to have to try and go back and write them before all of this, like we go back and read ‘don’t you like you’ and everything feels so strange bc we wrote it before we had this big detailed plan for everything that was gonna happen between them and it just feels crazy that they were in this place where they weren’t even friends let alone in love

but what i am gonna do. is give you a fuckload of bullet headcanons instead. so i hope that suffices bc buckle up, there’s gonna be a few 🌈🌈

so ava and sara don’t go to the same elementary school. they’re both star city natives though so they kind of know of each other. sara did dance when she was little and was in layla’s dance class and ava was sometimes there when barbara came to pick her up etc etc.

(ava’s school was a little nicer, was the fancier star city school that barbara teaches at. damien insisted nora went there bc of it’s good reputation and gary’s mom wanted the best possible start for her son, hence how the three of them ended up there and became friends)

so by the time middle school comes around and they actually become a part of each other’s spheres, they know the other vaguely by name and the like

in middle school, ava and sara meet and they don’t quite get along but they don’t rlly know each other so it’s not an issue - sara’s this reckless trouble maker that ava wants nothing to do with bc she wants to just do well and be liked and successful and normal while sara’s off getting into fights and sneaking out of school and never doing anything by the rules, so not interacting pretty much suits them both just fine

until in 8th grade, after spencer leaves to join the army and ava’s still trying to piece herself back together and he left around the time that she decides she was going to quit basketball after this season and she was scared she might be gay and starts vehemently ignoring any and all possibilities of that fact - that’s when sara lance comes out as bi

and sara doesn’t know why ava suddenly makes a point to argue with her more than usual, or call her out in her bullshit, or just be a general pain in the ass but she is, and what sara doesn’t realise is that ava’s angry that sara came out bc it put ava in a position where we had to actually confront herself abt her sexuality

sara has a quiet suspicion of why ava’s acting like this, and it would sort of make sense that ava would be gay (or bi, but sara thinks gay) but also she doesn’t wanna assume so she leaves it and just pushes ava’s buttons just as hard

but it’s not all bad, bc the day nyssa and sara start dating, everyone at school is talking about it and ava knows her friends will be too and she’s terrified bc she doesn’t want to know if they think it’s weird, but kuasa just goes “whoa, no way” and lily whistles and says “damn, they’re probably the hottest couple at school” and gary doesn’t say anything but he’s got this look of curiosity and relief on his face and nora is looking at him carefully before she just glances over at sara and says “good for them” and ava doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry with relief

(and it’s still 2 and half years before she even tells nora - the first person she comes out to - but it’s a start at least)

ava and sara get better for a bit in 8th grade, but then high school happens and suddenly they’re in the same homeroom and heaps of classes together and being partnered / grouped up for projects all the time and they both just get on each other’s nerves to no end

both of them are vying to be rip’s favourite in class and it makes ava furious and sara so smug because ava wanted to be the teachers pet bc she worked hard and did a load of extra curriculars and was always polite and on time and we’ll behaved, whereas rip just liked sara because she was entertaining and good at soccer and a little too cocky for her own good

and around this time, sara is slowly becoming friends with amaya and ray and jax and nate, is being less reckless and dangerous and unbearable as she was in middle school, starting to mellow a bit

but anyway; they’re at each other’s throats all of freshman year but their rivalry ends up being kind of fun bc arguing in class when it’s actually about school isn’t as frustrating for all the teachers and sara notices that ava actually makes her think, makes her feel smart, bc she can actually kind of keep up with the smartest girl in their entire grade, and ava meanwhile realises that sara is actually pretty smart, she’s actually kind of a genius and if she actually tried, she could probably give ava a run for her money and that both infuriates and pleasantly surprises ava

but then early sophomore year, nyssa leaves. sara’s not at school for a few days and by the time she comes back, everyone Knows because it’s high school and nothing can stay secret for long, and everyone’s trying not to gossip bc sara’s slowly become quite popular around school but they can’t help it, they all wanna know what’s going on

and ava detests sara but she’s always admired her for coming out, for being so proud abt it and dating nyssa when there was like a grand total of 3 other lgbt people at school all of whom fit every single stereotype that ava wanted nothing to do with (and she’ll never admit it, but she had always felt kind of safe and comforted knowing nyssa and sara were dating bc it made her feel like she would be ok one day), so she can’t even imagine how sara feels especially if the rumours about why nyssa left are true

sara’s heartbroken and angry and confused and she keeps pushing ava with jabs and mocking retorts and remarks that are lot harsher and more biting than usual but ava just smothers the urge to respond and rolls her eyes pointedly and ignores her bc she knows sara’s just lashing out

and at one point in gym, sara just drops her back and turns to face ava and demands “what the fuck is your problem sharpe?” and ava crosses her arms and goes “pretty sure you’re the once with the problem here, lance.” to that, sara glares and spits out “i’m not the one walking around with this fucking holier than thou attitude as if you’re better than me. can you at least argue back instead of rolling over like a doormat?” and ava literally wants to throw a dodgeball at her but she just holds her ground, doesn’t say anything, keeps sara’s gaze before biting her lip and looking away for the briefest of seconds. sara makes this smug huff of triumph, as though ava’s abt to fight back but ava just looks back at sara with an expression that’s too gentle, and says “i’m sorry about nyssa, sara.” and goes to join her dodgeball team

(amaya comes over to ask sara what it was about and sara can’t bring herself to answer, just shakes her head because she doesn’t quite know what just happened)

things get better quickly, like. sara would never say it at the time but zari is this refreshing burst of fresh air who didn’t know nyssa the way all her other friends did and it’s so nice to have her around, even tho she’s still quite new. and then wally comes to star city and everything is fun and exciting w the legends and things aren’t perfect, definitely not bc oliver and laurel break up and sara and laurel have been fighting just usually like sisters do and dinahs been calling, on saras ass abt her slipping grades at school and sara just wants to piss them both off so she hooks up w oliver (and they’ve known each other for so long that they both feel guilty abt it and they try to make it a Thing bc they don’t want to admit that they both just used each other for different reasons)

it it’s sometime after that, after she and oliver collapsed under the very weak foundation their relationship was already built on, after laurel starts dating tommy, after amaya promises sara she’s not a bad person for what happened with oliver, it’s sometime then that ava makes that challenging retort abt sara even trying to get a better grade than her in french

and all sara can think of is laurel, the way laurel hadn’t been mad when she hooked up with oliver, the way laurel had just snuck into her room late at night and slipped under the covers and hugged sara close as sara broke down abt why their mom just didnt care abt all the good things sara was doing, the way laurel had softly murmured “you’re brilliant sara. you are, you’re so smart and so capable and if mom can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve to.”

so sara does try. and she gets an a+. and the beam on laurel’s face when she sees it on sara’s desk, the pride on quentin’s when sara tells him - sara never looks back (and she also starts to look a bit more at ava, because maybe she’s not all horrible)

gary comes out at the very end of sophomore year, sara goes over to give him a hug and she sees the expression on ava’s face - proud and protective and kind but also sort of hurt and definitely, definitely jealous, and sara suddenly remembers the way ava had acted towards her after sara had first come out and she remembers her vague, kind of unfounded assumption that maybe ava was gay, realises that ava’s never had a boyfriend, never said yes to any of the numerous attractive guys who have asked her out

but also, sara’s known ava for like, 4 years by now and she knows what kind of family ava has and she feels this sudden ache in her chest bc ava must be in the most difficult position - sara doesn’t even know if ava is aware of it, so she doesn’t wanna say anything or offer support (also bc ava still grinds her gears to no end)

but she just keeps an eye out, checks ava’s facebook / instagram every once in a while to see if she’s posted anything abt it or added smth like a pride flag to her bio

and then on a sunday evening in october junior year, ava comes out on facebook. sara doesn’t see it first, in fact, she’s lying on the living room couch trying to not fall asleep reading her social studies text book when from the armchair, laurel lets out a quiet “huh” and both quentin and sara say “what?” at the same time and laurel goes “ava sharpe’s in your grade, right sara?” and sara nods and quentin’s like “is that the girl you did that chem assignment with earlier in the year?” and sara wrinkles her nose and goes “unfortunately. she’s a pain in my ass.” and laurel just hums and says “well, she just came out.”

sara almost falls off the couch, scrambling into a sitting position and snatching laurel’s phone and ignoring laurel’s protesting “hey!”

she reads the post through several times before she goes to comment and realises she’s on laurel’s phone, grabbing her own but then she hesitates, wanting to write something genuine but it feels too vulnerable so instead goes “ffs sharpe, on top of everything else, i now have to compete with you for hot girls too?”, but she opens messenger and goes “hey, just wanted to say congrats on coming out. i know it’s nowhere near easy to tell your family so like, hope that went okay. and i’m here if you wanna talk abt it at all.”

and the day after, as they’re clearing up microscopes and stuff in bio, ava quietly thanks her for her message and sara shrugs, goes “i get it.” and ava pauses before quietly admitting “you know i always admired you for being out. especially when we were so young back in middle school. i’d only just started thinking about it then and … i was a mess. seeing you being out and happy and just - the same person you’d always been … that helped more than you know.”

and it’s probably the most meaningful conversation they’ve ever had (or at least had in a Long time)

and 4 days later, ava shows up on sara’s doorstep after a fight with her mom at dinner and this entire fic began.

also, for your own reading pleasure, some other random moments we thought of;

sara only ever called ava ‘sharpe’ or ‘sharpie’ or any other variation of her name until they were both 15/16

ava used to roll her eyes every time sara got a a bad grade because she could be so much better if she tried, but she doesnt

sara nearly started a fight the first time she and ava had to work together on a project, and once they started it and it became clear they worked well together she was the Most Annoyed™️

back in middle school ava always scoffed and made some patronising comment every time she watched someone break up a fight sara had gotten into (except for the one time in the first few weeks of class when she had to stop sara throwing her second, or maybe third punch at a homophobic jerk in their class who’d cornered her on the way back from school - that time she shoved him away and watched him go before turning and cautiously asking if sara was okay, and sara glared at her and told her she’d had everything under control before storming off in the opposite direction)

there are probably many many headcanons for this part of the universe that we will think of but i hope this suffices for now, feel free to come yell about anything legends / fic related bc this was so much fun 💖💞

#lot #legends of tomorrow #avalance #you make me smile #anonymous #cileme writes #lot hs au

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