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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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i'm both desperately curious about bird mom and desperately sad about jin rusong. perhaps you can finagle a way for jrs to end up on bssr's mountain?

ao3

When all was said and done, taking the child was a mistake.

She didn’t mean to take him, of course. If she had a choice in the matter, she’d probably leave him, child of a bad fate that he was: her mountain was no good for humans, not really. It was too high and too lonesome and in the end they all left, even though she warned everyone who left that re-entering the mortal world would put them back into the grasp of the destiny she sought to prevent.

It was not, as she knew some humans say, that all her disciples were cursed, or else that she was so arrogant and vain that she imposed a terrible doom on all those who chose to leave her – it’s really much simpler than that.

The children she took away with her were already doomed.

Her immortal mountain was not subject to the whims of fate, or indeed of chronological time; her children, as she thought of them, could out-pace the imposition of heaven as long as they remained with her. Her first child was the son of a warlord, a cultivator turned tyrant, and he would have died a cruel death when his father’s camp was overturned, pierced through and through with dozens of arrows – she’d still had a foot in the mortal world all that time ago, and had come across him barely breathing, life seeping away before it ever started. She had felt pity, for he had been a charming child, a happy one, unaware of the wickedness of his father or the hatred of his enemies. It was for him that she first set up the child-snatching array, the one that took away children with cruel fates; she had been young and arrogant then.

When, in time, he decided to return to the mortal world, she had let him go freely, preening to herself that she had done a good thing. The child she had raised was kind and gentle, entirely unlike his vicious father; surely, she thought, he would be able to make a good name for himself, and live happily.

In the end, the arrows still found him – and cruelty, too.

That was when she realized that she could not prevent fate, only delay it: it had been her first child’s fate to die pierced through by arrows unnumbered, and that fate had patiently followed him, step by step, for all those years that he had lived with her, growing and cultivating and being happy. And for each year that she had kept him safe, fate had calculated interest, too: the arrows this time belonged to all the cultivation world’s, not merely a few enemies, and there were so many more of them; there were enough to rip his body to pieces, forcing him to die in unspeakable agony, alone and hated and betrayed by everyone he loved, his final death even crueler than the one she’d saved him from, so long before and also no time at all ago.

After that, she tried to stop taking children.

But she’d been young, and arrogant, and in her arrogance had not anticipated the possibility that she would regret her actions later: the child-snatching array did not require her contribution to function, and so it continued to steal away those about to die through the unfairness of the heavens, the ones with the most thoroughly unfair fates, which to her relief only occurred once every few generation or so. She tried through every possible machination to avert their fates, sending them out almost as soon as she got them or refusing to let them cultivate, but nothing she did changed it.

By the time her second disciple left the mountain – not her second child, perhaps her seventeenth, but the second one she’d trained up properly as a cultivator, and more because the child wanted it than because she thought it was a good idea – she’d already resigned herself to the reality of it, and warned her child about her doom. Little Cangse Sanren, a wandering rogue cultivator doomed to die in obscurity and leave her family behind: she had been a nameless toddler, still at the point of crawling around enthusiastically without a care, when she’d snatched her away from the teeth of some beast, and if that was her doom prescribed by the fates, it would be the same in the end.

No one will see your death, she’d warned her bright and happy second disciple, the lively one who loved to laugh, the one she’d kept on the mountain for decades and yet no time at all. No one will care, no one will know. There will be no glory in it, no heroics. It will be meaningless, and cause those you love much pain.

She’d warned her of that much.

In the end, it was just as she’d said. If the little toddler that had so enthusiastically crawled away into the brush had died on time, her mother would have grieved and her father would have hurt himself weeping, but they would have gone on; when that inescapable fate came to the grown woman, her husband died trying to preserve her and her beloved son was left alone and starving and miserable for two years until he could be found, and the traces of her doom dogged him his whole life long.

No – if she’d had any choice in the matter, she wouldn’t have taken this boy, whose fate was so very unkind.

His father had given him the name Rusong, and had loved him, genuinely and sincerely – and in the end he had caused his death, ancient sins coming due to be paid in full through reckless selfish ruthlessness. The child lived five or six years in the mortal world before the order went out to kill him, and perhaps his father thought he was being kind when he ordered his obedient son to drink up the bitter ‘medicine’ that would blind him and then kill him; it was a gentler death, she supposed, than the gruesome dismemberment of his corpse that would follow once the gentle poison had robbed him first of sight and then of breath.

Such a terrible fate.

She didn’t even want to think about what his fate would be like after she’d raised him.

And yet – the child was here, and she was here, too; she had that old arrogance to pay for, and he could at least have some joy before he suffered the worst sort of bitterness, before he died blinded and betrayed by those that loved him sincerely and still struck against him, reckless and ruthlessness and selfish. She would raise the child for a decade or more, alone but thriving; she would teach him kindness and gentleness and all the cultivation that she knew. She would give him that time, years and years, and she would let him have the joy of that time.

And then, in the end, he would leave her and return to the mortal world, where time flowed backwards waiting for him to come back, and in the mortal world he would meet the fate that waited for him.

She didn’t know why time did that, creating inescapable overlaps, the past self always just missing the chance to meet the current self – perhaps it was simply that cruel fate once again, forcing the adult to die at the hands or teeth of the same creature that they had once escaped.

Her first disciple died pierced full of arrows, and his father’s enemy had been the one to incite the cultivation world against him.

Her second disciple died at the hands of a fierce beast, and it had grown even larger and more terrifying when it finally came to claim her.

Her third disciple – for he would be her disciple as well, this young child who already knew the basics of cultivation – would die in the future just as he should have died this day, though whether the cause of his death would be because of his father’s Jin sect or the mad dog of an executioner named Xue Yang that had carried out the original order to execute little Jin Rusong or both, she did not yet know.

She hoped, for his sake, that he would find some joy in the five or six years of mortal life he would have left to him when he returned. That there would be some happiness in it…that it would not be only suffering, suffering and pain.

“You will need a new name,” she told the child, who was already forgetting all his mortal life before upon drinking the waters of her immortal mountain. “It would be quite awkward if you came across yourself or some hint of yourself and knew it.”

The child didn’t understand, of course. He only smiled up at her, gentle as a moonbeam.

She thought about it for a while, and then nodded, deciding.

“Your name,” she said, “will be Xiao Xingchen.”

#mdzs #baoshan sanren #jin rusong #my fic #my fics #I'm sorry I made it worse

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malereader-inserts · 3 years

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Bigger Picture

Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Sirius Black & Son!Reader Summary: Remus knows that Sirius always fails to see the bigger picture, so he tells him once to do it - but, at this point, it might be a bit late Word Count: 1,334 Request: Can you write about Sirius black having a son but always being second best or Harry. Thank you!

You looked at Harry, holding back the tears as you come down the stairs. You swallowed back down the lump in your throat as you pass Harry and Molly in the doorway of the kitchen, you were only trying to get to the dining room for tea. But, you really didn’t want to see Harry hug your dad like that.

You let out a shaky breath, biting your lip as you turn away - engaging yourself in a conversation with the twins, not noticing how your Uncle Remus had noticed that you weren’t looking good.

You’ve been living with your dad for this year summer and summer after the third year. You, your dad and Remus had a blast of just you three, for the first time, you felt like you had a family. But, in the back of your mind, you knew you could never compare to Harry.

It’s almost as if your dad had wished Harry was his own son.

You understand that Harry was his best friend’s son. James was pretty influential in your dad’s life, treating him as if he was part of the Potter family. You understand that Sirius and Remus is Harry’s last shot of having a family, understanding what love is from family, but you like to be remembered as well.

You know that you’re going to feel worst that Harry is back, and you know it’s not Harry’s fault. But, the days that Harry wasn’t here in the house, Sirius at least acknowledge that you were his son.

It hurts to watch, to see Sirius pat Harry on the shoulder, give him a tight hug as a greeting. You hold back the tears when you witness Sirius ruffling his hair, joking around with him as if Harry was his son.

It was so much easier before Harry came along, you did your best not to look or act bitter, in fact, no one really picked up on your off-standish behaviour other than Remus, but then again, Remus is a very observant person. You knew you couldn’t compare yourself to Harry. Harry is the chosen one, he never asked for a life like this - you couldn’t possibly act so selfishly now.

But, you hadn’t had a father for twelve years, you had no family to turn you. Your mother wasn’t the greatest, she even told you that she wished you were never born, after eight years of pathetically taking care of you, she walked out of your life - Remus was the one that took you in, even if he was struggling to provide of himself, he would do anything for you. His best friend’s son.

He knew you hadn’t had the best childhood, he could pick up signs of trauma - the feeling of not being cared for, not being loved, not wanted at all. When you got to Hogwarts, Remus was happy that you made it to Gryffindor, he’d like to think that Sirius would be overjoyed to know that his son is in his house too. But, Remus couldn’t shield you from your cousin, Draco, and his relentless mocking.

That you would never redeem yourself to the family, how that the Blacks and families associated with your family name will never give you time of day for being Gryffindor. You were simply never good enough in anyone’s eyes.

Remus tried telling Sirius one night.

“He’s fine, (Y/n) is a strong lad,” Sirius laughs it off but stops when Remus gives him a look that Sirius remembers, Sirius sighs, “I think I know my son better than you, Moony.”

“I don’t think you do, Sirius,” Remus hums, sighing and keeping his hands in his pockets. He pursed his lips before shaking his head, “If only for once in your life you would open your eyes for the bigger picture, but if I remember correctly, I don’t think you’re capable of doing so.”

“I am!” Sirius argued back, “I’ll see what is going on with him.”

“Now, you’re sounding like it’s a task for you and not the bare necessity as a father,” Remus tsk at him, shaking his head in disappointment, “And you really think he’s going to open up to you if you walked up to him? Did you ever open up to us about your family when you were younger?”

“No.”

“Exactly, no.”

“So, what should I do? To fix what you claim is slowly cracking.”

Remus glared at his best friend, “Figure it out and stop being such a twat.”

Sirius watched Remus bids him and everyone in the room, who were in their own conversation, goodnight before heading to bed. The children were most likely to be asleep so it left Sirius with his own though.

He hadn’t seen anything different from his own son.

You were interacting with your best friends as usual, and the other children. You were still joking about with Harry, nothing out of the sorts there. You were always close to Remus that he hadn’t actually noticed that his son was getting further close to his best friend. It was only a week later, in which, he had caught a hushed conversation that he knew he shouldn’t be apart of.

“I don’t get why he doesn’t want me,” You say, followed with soft sniffling.

Sirius peered over the door to see you looking out the window with Remus, admiring the stars. Remus had a gentle hand on your back, rubbing it affectionately - Sirius’ first thought was that should be him. Comforting his own son.

“I’ve tried, you know? When it was just us three during the summer - I don’t get why I’m not good enough for him?”

“You are, (Y/n).”

“Clearly not,” You scoffed, shrugging off your uncle’s hand, “He wants Harry as a son, I will never be good enough for him - it’s Harry this, Harry that. Is it so selfish of me to wish that Harry was never born?”

Remus looks at you before watching you break into tears, Remus pulls you into a hug. You grip him tightly as he rubs your back, he hums to calm you down. Sirius watched in jealousness, he should be the one hugging you and comforting you, but he knows that he would scowl at you because Harry is an important piece in defeating the Dark Lord.

“Hey, hey,” Remus says, “It’s okay to feel like that, (Y/n), and you’re good enough - okay?”

You wipe away your tears with the back of your hands, looking up at your uncle. Giving him a tight-lipped smile.

“For once, I thought I could get a father’s love but I can’t even get that from my own father and have to get it from his best friend,” You pull yourself from the hug, letting out a shaky breath, “Mum doesn’t want me, dad doesn’t want me, what’s the point of living then?”

“I care about you, and I want you to be here. You have a lot to experience, you have big exams this year coming - don’t you? You still need to travel the world, right?”

“I guess.”

“Then, therefore, there is a point of living. Okay?”

“Mhm,” You nodded, still not convinced at all.

“I love you kid,” Remus says fondly, and Sirius wanted to storm in and punch him because he should be saying that to you, not Remus.

But, he sees you turn to him, there’s a fond smile on your face which breaks Sirius’ heart - when was the last time a smile like that was direct to him?

“I love you too, Uncle.”

And, Sirius wonders when the last time you told him you loved him. So, the next day, Sirius had tried to come up with things to become closer, have an actual father and son bond. But, he noticed at breakfast, you sat next to Remus. You, Hermione and Remus, were gushing out what books are really good and suggesting what to read.

Sirius, finally seeing the bigger picture, realised he was losing his son.

#Sirius Black #sirius black x male reader #x male reader #platonic #angst

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

I'm honestly surprised more people didn't want me to talk about Gabriel, especially with how often I rag on how horrible of a person he is. But, three character analysis posts later, and we're going to talk about why the main villain of Miraculous Ladybug is a real letdown.

Gabriel Needs to give the Whining a Rest

The interesting thing is one of the few things I actually liked in Season 3 was Hawkmoth. His plans actually made sense (for the most part), and by playing the long game, he managed to turn Chloe against Ladybug and deprived her of several key allies. Granted, Season 4 immediately undid the latter, but I was still impressed by his strategy.

Generally, one of the better aspects of Gabriel as a character was just how over the top he was as Hawkmoth. Keith Silverstein is clearly giving it his all with his performance, and he is just so enjoyable to watch as a cartoonish supervillain.

And therein lies the first major problem with Gabriel as a character. While he is fun to watch as a simple supervillain, the show tries to give him more depth and unintentionally makes him worse.

In Season 2, when it was revealed that Gabriel was Hawkmoth, many fans speculated on what he needed the Miraculous for, until the Queen Bee Trilogy showed it was to save his possibly dead wife, Emilie. The idea of that is so the show can give more depth to its main villain, and I think it's an interesting idea in concept. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The problem is just how radically different Gabriel is normally compared to how he is as Hawkmoth. He always goes on about how he's “doing this for Emilie”, but it's hard to really sympathize with him when you consider he constantly gives evil monologues and evil laughs, really getting into the supervillain role. And let's not forget all of the “I'm going to wear Ladybug's skin as a suit” faces he loves to make.

Clearly this man is the picture of mental stability.

Gabriel's motivation for being Hawkmoth when compared to what he actually does as Hawkmoth is shady enough, but the thing is that the writers clearly want the audience to at least feel a little bad for him. They want to make the audience sympathize with him despite the way he acts with or without the mask. Without Miraculous Ladybug, he is routinely putting innocent lives in danger and never once shows regret for his actions. All he talks about is how “he's doing this for Emilie”, or that “he'll get their Miraculous soon”. There's no real reason to feel bad for him other than “because the script says so”.

Let's compare Gabriel to Malcolm Merlyn from Arrow. His big plan in the first season of the show is to create a machine that will cause an earthquake to destroy a crime-infested portion of Starling City, claiming to be trying to help everyone, but it's clear he is only doing it out of revenge for his wife getting killed by a criminal from that part of the city. In addition, throughout that season and future seasons, he always makes sure his plans lead to him benefiting in some way, showing he isn't just some noble man trying to achieve his goals with a less than noble method.

If we got some moments that showed that what Gabriel was doing was selfish, it would make him a more complex villain. But we don't get anything like that. What do we get instead? Well...

I Could Really Care Less About Emilie Agreste

We have known Gabriel's motivation has been to save his wife for a little over two years at this point, but at the same time, it's hard to believe that motivation because of how underdeveloped Emilie is as a character.

There have been a total of two lines in the entirety of the show that explain what happened to Emilie, and they're both vague as hell. One of them was from “Feast” that implied Emilie used the broken Peacock Miraculous.

Adrien: My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie.

And the other that outright tells the audience what's happening to her in a clip show that most people will skip.

Nathalie: As I've watched Emilie falling deeper into an endless sleep, my sadness for her has deepened, too

That is literally all we get for an explanation, and nothing else. We have no idea of what she's like as a person or what her relationship with her family was like other than Gabriel and Adrien saying they miss her. Other than the way the narrative says she's important to Gabriel and Adrien, we don't really have a reason to care about her as a character. There have also been some lines that imply she went along with Gabriel's questionable parenting techniques, like how he was apparently only homeschooled as a kid (Origins) and never had a birthday party growing up (The Bubbler), so how do we even know if she's a good person? In fact, why not set up this question as a mystery to make the audience wonder if Gabriel has another reason to bring Emilie back?

It ultimately turns Emilie into a plot device and not a character that Gabriel and Adrien only bring up to make the audience feel bad for them, and meant to justify Gabriel's actions by saying that he's “doing this for his family”.

But hey, if he's doing this all for his family, surely Gabriel's redeeming traits come from his relationship with Adrien, right? Right?

As a Parent, Gabriel is Far From the Best

I've talked about this briefly before, but parenting in Miraculous Ladybug is written in such a black and white way, even by the standards of this show. Parents are portrayed in one of two ways. They're either amazing people who love and support their children unconditionally, or they're awful people who treat their own children like trash. And much like a lot of things in this show, there are times where the latter is treated like the former.

There are so many times where the narrative insists on making you see Gabriel as a troubled, but wellmeaning person who tries his best to be a good parent to Adrien, but it is far from the truth.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Gabriel is a terrible parent. Like, he is awful at being a parent in so many ways, even before you find out he's Hawkmoth. In his first appearance, “The Bubbler”, he delegates getting Adrien a birthday present to Nathalie, his assistant. He literally can't be bothered to take time out of his schedule to get his own son a present for his birthday. And as the show goes on, he becomes more controlling and forbids Adrien from going out with his friends in other episodes (Captain Hardrock, Silencer). While this could be used to show Gabriel getting worse, it's never acknowledged in-universe, with Adrien continually defending his father essentially keeping him on house arrest.

“But IOTA!” You might say. “Gabriel has made efforts to bond with his son in some episodes.” While that might be true, most of those come right after his Akumas have almost gotten Adrien killed. He only hugged Adrien and made an attempt to learn more about him after Simon Says invaded their home, he only decided to watch that movie Emilie was in with Adrien after Gorizilla nearly dropped him off a building, and he only hugged Adrien again in public after he was turned into a gold statue by Style Queen.

In fact, let's talk about how Gabriel acts in the Queen Bee Trilogy. He actually decides to quit being Hawkmoth, but it's not because he realizes all the damage he's caused. Instead, he gave up because his “magnum opus”, a stronger than usual Akuma that only got the advantage on Ladybug ironically because of dumb luck, failed. Sure, he says he can't keep putting his son in danger, but he rarely ever acknowledges that he does so in the first place. When Riposte wanted to fight Adrien, Hawkmoth did nothing to stop her other than giving her a stern warning earlier on and nothing else. Where was this attitude earlier?

Hell, even then, he immediately goes back to being Hawkmoth as soon as he sees an opportunity, not even a day after his “mAgNuM oPuS” blew up in his face (because I guess Scarletmoth was just Plan B). If he made such a big deal about caring for his son, why didn't he try harder to spend time with him? Has he ever had doubts about what he's doing before? If Chloe didn't show up as Queen Bee, was he going to follow through on his promise and try to be a better father to Adrien instead of trying to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous?

And yeah, the whole irony is that Gabriel is doing this for his family when he is unknowingly fighting his own son, which could lead to some interesting drama if done right. The idea of how Gabriel would react to his son being Cat Noir could really lead to some internal struggles for him to go through. But then we got “Cat Blanc”, which shows just how terrible of a character Gabriel is.

In an alternate timeline where he found out his son was Cat Noir, what does Gabriel do? Does he try to steal Adrien's Miraculous while he's sleeping? Does he reconsider his actions or realize he was endangering Adrien's life?

NOPE! He just decides to akumatize him all while emotionally tormenting him, before causing the end of the world.

This is honestly one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in any TV show, because it's basically an abusive father ordering his son to listen to him all while referencing his (kind of) dead mother to back up his point. And rather than use this to show how despicable Gabriel is, the episode decides to blame Marinette for this happening. Yes, according to the show, her present to Adrien caused several events to happen which caused Cat Blanc, but this logic makes no sense. It's like blaming the JFK assassination on the man who sold a gun to Lee Harvey Oswald, instead of, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only was this episode yet another excuse to blame Marinette for something that wasn't her fault, it leads into the biggest problem I have with Gabriel as a character.

Sympathize with Gabriel? Surely, You Jest

After everything I've gone over regarding Gabriel as a character, after all the awful things I've talked about, are you really surprised that I don't feel bad for him at all?

Gabriel is just an awful character and a despicable human being, but the show just keeps wanting me to feel bad for him. It's just so hard to when you consider everything he's done has made him anything but sympathetic. I'm just saying, it's kind of hard to feel bad for someone who tries to start World War III with the only justification being “i'M dOiNg It FoR mY fAmIlY”, especially when he treats his family like crap.

The writers go out of their way to show how horrible Gabriel is as Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, but they think because they throw in a few moments where he looks conflicted, we'll immediately feel bad for him. What makes so many people interested in seeing Chloe become a better person is that they can tell she's the victim of a troubled upbringing, and know that because she's only a teenager, she still has room to grow as a person, represented by having more honest moments of vulnerability. Gabriel is a grown man who once caused the apocalypse because of how terrible of a parent he is, and has even fewer sympathetic moments than Chloe does. Which one of these two is supposedly irredeemable? The answer may surprise you.

But the frustrating thing is that this kind of villain could have worked. Instead of making him this mustache-twirling psychopath, show how much Gabriel regrets what he has to do, but keeps pushing onward despite all the lives he's risking if it means that he can save his wife. Instead of making Gabriel like Lex Luthor, make him like Mr. Freeze, who is basic a better written version of him.

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But as it stands, there's a good reason why Gabriel gets little to no respect as a character in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, as a villain, or as a father.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #hawk moth #shadowmoth #shadow moth #emilie agreste #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #cat blanc #chat blanc #nathalie sancoeur #mayura #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug

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shoutaaizawas · 4 years

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↳ keigo takami x reader → ❝our house❞

summary: you and hakws get your happily ever after word count: 2,852 tags/warnings: slight manga spoilers!!, family themes, kids, fluff a/n: i started this like over a month ago and finally was in the mood to finish it. enjoy~ (inspired by the song our house by crosby stills nash and young)

Sunlight streamed through the sheer curtains of your bedroom window. You stretch out, stiff muscles relaxing as you let out a yawn. You can’t move very much considering your husband has his cheek resting on your stomach, his weight pressed across your body. A soft smile warms your face. This is his favorite position to lay in, he claims your better than any pillow but you’re sure that it’s because he prefers to not lay on his wings.

His wings are pulled close against you, enveloping you in their warmth. You reach up and gently run your hand along with them, they flutter under your touch and you can feel him nuzzle into you. You always admired his wings so much, stunning and strong, adding to his roguish charm. He teases you that you would have never fallen for him without them, you assure him that it was the windswept hair that got you and he always laughs.

There was a time you thought he lost his wings, after his fight with Dabi. They were gone, burnt down to the skin, what was left of the skin on his back. You didn’t think he would stay alive much less retain his quirk. By some miracle, they grew back. It wasn’t easy recovering from his injuries, it took months for them to even start growing back. Even then they looked different, scarred, torn, and patchy in some places but just as beautiful to you. If anything more beautiful because he was still alive.

You try not to think about it, there’s no use in remembering such dark times. As traumatic as it was for the both of you it was a blessing in disguise. With his quirk seemingly gone the hero commission decided he was useless and dropped him from their tight grasp. At the time you were still scared, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would Dabi return? Would the commission send someone to kill him even if they said he was free? It couldn’t be that easy.

You could remember that day like it was yesterday, he had finally been released from the Hospital. You were going to take him to his apartment but he said he needed to do something alone first, as terrified as you were at what that could be he insisted you wait for him at his apartment. You didn’t want to leave him alone, not after his injuries and his quirk being gone but he wouldn’t let you go with him.

It was the longest hour of your life, sitting on his couch paying no attention to what the TV had on, foot bouncing restlessly. Finally, the door opened and he stood there looking exhausted. You ran over to his side before you could get a word in he spoke.

“Run away with me.” He said almost breathless.

“What?” You said confused. He stepped forward grabbing your arms pulling you close to him.

“I said run away with me.” He repeated. “Let’s get out of here, away from these ‘heroes’, away from these villains, away from anything that could stop us from being together.”

It was a lot to process but after a moment you were surprised that you felt the same way. Being a hero felt like bile in your throat after learning how dark it was behind the scenes. You weren’t completely jaded, you knew there were still good people who were heroes but you couldn’t stomach the thought of being one anymore after seeing everything the commission did to Hawks.

“Yes,” You said with a nod. “Let’s do it, let’s run away together.”

The smile that beamed from him made your heart melt, even with the bandages that still covered his face. You hugged him as tight as you could without hurting him or his injuries, one hand wrapped behind him the other resting on his chest as you closed your eyes taking at the moment. You didn’t even notice his fidgeting until you felt something slide onto your finger.

“If we’re going to run away together it only seems right.” He said, close to your ear, you could feel a shiver down your spine. You opened your eyes looking at your hand and the newly placed ring on it. It was stunning, simple but beautiful, and somehow everything you could ask for in a ring. You knew Keigo was observant but didn’t realize just how good he was at paying attention to you. “Marry me.” He whispered into your ear.

You teared up, overwhelmed by all the emotions of the day.

“Yes, Keigo. There’s nothing that would make me happier.”

After that you didn’t look back, you missed the people you left behind but it felt good to get away from the danger and stress of it all. Maybe it was selfish but after all, you and Keigo had been through didn’t you deserve to do something for yourselves for once in your life. Keigo had everything taken away from him as a child the least he deserved was some happiness and solitude as an adult.

You reached forward, careful not to wake him, gently running your fingertips across the scar on the side of his face. It was a reminder that you almost lost everything before you had it, and to never take for granted the life you had. Your hand tangled in his hair, running your hand down it soothingly. He was so handsome, so perfect, you were so happy that you had him in your life. It was easy to drown in your feelings for him in these moments. They were overwhelming, even after all the time you had been together. You couldn’t imagine not being head over heels in love with him.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer.” His sleep ridden voice drove you crazy in the best way. His eyes opened, revealing his golden eyes, their beauty only intensified by the golden light through the windows.

“Why would I when I always have the real thing right here?” You returned. He smirked, pushing himself up and hovering over you. His face was right over yours and you couldn’t stop the blush on your face. His wings stretching out and shaking before pulling in and caging you in along with his arms. It didn’t matter how long you had been together it didn’t take much from him to get you blushing.

“Hmm, you have a point.” He said leaning closer and closer to you, lips brushing together barely. He loved to tease you, lean in, and see how long it took before you got annoyed. You were about to lean up and close the distance when you were interrupted.

“Mommy! Daddy! Mochi had an accident!!” A shrill voice yelped as your bedroom door flew open. Your youngest son, five years old, stood there, his tiny wings fluttering, holding up the puppy on display. He had your hair color and the feathers of his wings were black. He had Keigo’s striking golden eyes that you loved so much.

You and your husband let out a sigh as he climbed off you and got out of bed. He stepped towards your son, scooping up him and the puppy up to one smooth movement.

“Well let’s get that fixed then, little man.” He said kissing him on the forehead and patting the puppy on the head. He gave you a warm smile before walking out of the room.

It wasn’t unusual for your calm mornings to be cut short, unfortunately, all of your children had the habit of getting up early and getting right to starting chaos. You were sure the others were up to something. You put on your robe and got up heading to the kitchen to find your eleven-year-old son using his wings to reach the highest shelf in the cabinet.

“No flying in the house!” You scolded, your son startled by your presence dropped the bag of flour he was holding. It hit the ground, flour going everywhere. You placed a hand on your face taking a deep breath. It was too early for this.

“Mom, I’m sorry I was trying to make you and dad breakfast.” He said looking guilty. You held your arms out and he was quick to fly into your arms. You let out a grunt, he was getting so big you didn’t think you would be able to hold him much longer.

“That’s very sweet baby but I don’t want you getting hurt. If you dropped some glass you could cut yourself, or if you fell.” You told him, stroking his soft golden locks. He was the spitting image of his father, something that brought a smile on your face. “Can I help you make breakfast, what did you have in mind?”

“Yeah!” He said excitedly. “I wanted to make waffles.”

“Ambitious boy, just like your mother,” Keigo said as he entered the kitchen followed by your youngest son and his puppy. You smiled at them both.

“Dad! Mom!” Another voice called, your daughter, eight years old entered with a drawing in hand. “Look, look! I drew you guys.” She said presenting the picture proudly. Your heart warmed, she had drawn you and Keigo holding hands in a big heart.

“That’s amazing, princess,” Keigo said, kneeling to give her a kiss on the head. “I don’t know about you, babe but I think this deserves to go on the fridge.” He said looking at you.

“We might have to get a frame for it.” You said with a big smile. You put down your eldest son before giving your daughter a big hug. “It’s perfect.”

“What happened with the flour?” Keigo asked looking at the mess questioningly.

“Our darling son was trying to make us breakfast but there was a flying incident.” You explained.

“Hey, you know you not supposed to fly in the house.” He said.

“I know.” Your son said looking down.

“I already told him.” You assured your husband. “C’mon, love. Let’s make breakfast but first clean up that mess. I’ll get everything we need out.”

He nodded and got to work cleaning it up, Keigo helped him with the dustpan as he swept it up. You grabbed out eggs, bacon, milk, and some fruit. By the time you had it all set on the counter, they had finished cleaning up the mess.

You helped your eldest son start making the batter before you started cutting up the fruit. You felt arms wrap around your waist as Keigo settled his head against your shoulder.

“I think my morning kiss was interrupting.” He said before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Well, that happens when you bring strays home.” You said keeping your focus on the task at hand. Keigo had found the dog on a rainy day while he had gone to the store. He insisted they take care of it for the day at least, you couldn’t leave a puppy out in the cold. One day turned into weeks and your family demanded the puppy stay. You could hardly deny them it. Besides, it was a pretty cute puppy.

“C’mon you know you love the thing.” He said in a teasing voice as he nuzzled his nose against your neck.

“I do but I like giving you a hard time.” You tell him, turning your head to meet his pressing a kiss to his cheek. He let out a hum of contentment before lifting his head to meet your lips with his.

“Gross!” Your daughter shouts.

“I’m sorry we weren’t asking for any commentary.” Your husband teases giving your daughter a smug grin.

“Why don’t you help your brother set the table.” You offer her a task.

Life was peaceful and domestic, far from what you face years ago. No more lies or danger. No more heroes or villains. Just the love of your life, safe and happy, and the family you built with him.

You were able to create what you both didn’t have growing up. A house full of love and happiness, with loving parents who took care of their children and loved them as much as any human being could love another.

The house you lived in was perfect. An English cottage style house secluded away from the busy city. Between what you and Keigo made while working as heroes you had more than enough to buy the house and the property with it. The greenery around the house was beautiful and there were plains of green grass for miles around you. It was cozy and warm especially with all the life your family brought to it.

You spend your days in the garden you adore, tending to the plants there. Sometimes Keigo watches you and helps you with whatever you want him to. When the kids aren't at school they help out or they play in the yard, chasing each other around pretending to be whatever they want to that day.

Between Keigo bringing home strays and the kids loving animals you ended up with a farm. Keigo helped you build a chicken coop, he looked after them. It wasn’t unusual to find him in the coop talking to the birds. They always flocked to him and followed him around happily.

Then there were the stray cats that had shown up at your house, you caught your oldest son feeding them leftovers from dinner. You told him if he wanted to feed them that he should feed them cat food. You always made sure to keep some at home. They eventually all warmed up to the family and would stay by you while you garden. Sometimes they would even sit on your lap if you were relaxing outside.

Then there was the goat. Keigo and your daughter had been out for the day. When they returned they did so with a goat. Keigo claimed that it was out in the road alone and was in danger. Later he admitted that it was being sold for meat and your daughter started crying at the thought of the little goat being eaten. He could never stand to see his children cry, he would do whatever he could to stop it. Even if it meant bringing home a goat. The goat was friendly but loved to eat anything and everything it got its mouth on. Especially when it came to your beloved garden. It was worth it when you saw how happy your daughter was with the animal.

Evenings were spent watching movies or playing games together. Your youngest always somehow beat everyone at Mario Party without fail and it never ceased to impress you. Dinner was usually a group project, the kids liked helping out but some nights Keigo or you would make dinner while the other spent time with the kids.

You don't tell your children about your past as heroes, simply that you used to help people for a living. You figure that explaining why you stopped being a hero is too much for kids their age. They don't need to know about that kind of corruption so young.

They never question their father's scar, you know that they understand it's not something normal once they get older but in their eyes he's perfect. The boys ask why his wings look different than their own. Keigo doesn't want to tell them at first, worried that any form of the truth would scare them but you assure him that they'll understand if he explains it right.

Keigo explains that he lost his wings once, a villain took them away. The boys nod and accept it without question. Your husband assures them that no one could ever hurt them, he would never allow it.

"Of course you would keep us safe, daddy." The youngest says with full confidence. You smile, comforted that your children understand just how far you would both go to keep them safe.

At night after the kids are all tucked into bed you sit down with Keigo in the living room, sometimes you watch whatever show you’re catching up on, other nights you let music fill the room as you talk about the day or anything that you want to express.

You find sanctuary in his arms, pressed into his chest, with a glass of your favorite wine in hand. He watches intently as you tell him about how the squash is growing good this year. You look up at him, enamored by the loving look in his eyes. You reach up to pull him down to kiss you, the taste of wine on his lips.

Keigo is perfect and the life you’ve built together is perfect. You cherish the time to spend with him on these quiet nights. You melt in his embrace, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He smiles down at you and whispers against your ear how much he loves you and how thankful he is for you.

You both know there will never be enough words to fully express the love and happiness you feel with each other but it never stops you from trying.

taglist: @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bakugousidehoe @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh @x0doodlebug0x @katsushimaa @mooncademia

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #hawks #keigo takami #mha #my writing

863 notes · View notes

alitaimagines · 4 years

Text

“I’m human, can’t you see? I made, I made a mistake. please just look me in my face, tell me everything’s okay. cause I got it, I’ll never be like you.”

ENJI TODOROKI, TOSHINORI YAGI ☆ MY HERO ACADEMIA

☆ previous imagine: ♡ ☆ masterlist: ♡

“Enji, the baby is yours,” you whispered grabbing your now small bump, “and you’re walking away from it?” Enji scoffed, wiping his wet fingers that he was previously biting on.

“you’re not a worthy wife. you’re nothing.”

your mouth dropped at the bluntness. the two of you weren’t official, not by far, but when you found out that you were holding his child, you thought that he was going to stick around.

“so you’re leaving me with the child?” he nodded, “and you want nothing to do with me? what if he has your quirk? or your hair? it’s going to be very noticable that it’s your child.”

Enji shrugged, not bothering to reply to your warnings. your eyes pricked with tears, not knowing what you were going to do. you were going to keep the baby but the thought that Enji wanted no part in his life broke your heart.

your sighed wavered as you walked away from the red haired boy. you were only eighteen. you didn’t know if you could deal with a child on your own. of course your family had already offered to help take care of the baby but the thought that you were going to be a single mother because of Enji’s selfish mindset made you want to turn around and kick him

you looked down to your baby bump and rubbed it.

“don’t ever think that you’re not loved. one day, we’ll find someone who is worth our time. someone who loves you as much as I do.”

U.A. had been nice enough to allow you to do homeschool to finish off your third year and have the credentials of graduating from such a luxury school.

your baby had been born at the tail end of your third year so he was able to witness your graduation. your mother had made him a small graduation cap and gown as a surprise the day you were going to walk the stage.

at first, you didn’t want to even bare to even step back onto U.A. grounds and the thought of it made you want to gag but when your sibling had told that Enji being there shouldn’t stop you from grabbing that diploma from the principal and calling yourself a U.A. graduate.

you made sure that you didn’t focus on Enji when his name was called. you drowned it out and payed attention to the sleeping baby in your arms. you were planning on walking across the stage with your son and made sure to show Enji that he was missing out on the best thing to ever happen to you.

you lined up with the rest of the business department with your one month old child finally waking up from his nap. you knew he had to be fed soon but as soon as you heard your name be called, you positioned him so the camera could catch a glimpse of him.

( your name ), graduating second in her class, and has three internships lined up at agencies in Tokyo, Osaka, and Hokkaido.”

you waved the baby’s hand at the camera, gaining aww’s from the crowd as you grabbed the diploma from the principal and took the picture with the entire U.A. faculty.

once the graduation ceremony was over and your family was finished taking photos with you, a few of your friends were generous enough to invite you out for a night in the town. your family more than willingly took the baby of your hands so you could enjoy at least tonight.

as you were getting ready to leave the campus, you saw Enji staring at you with eyes that you were sure if they could kill, you would be dead where you stood.

“you had the audacity to bring that child to graduation? are you stupid?” he asked a bit flustered, “why? you scared everyone would find out that Enji Todoroki has a baby that he doesn’t want to claim? cry me a river, Todoroki. I’m done trying to have you care for our child. to you, he’s a mistake but to me, he’s everything. next time you want to put your dick in someone, make sure to warn that poor son of a bitch.”

Enji stared at you in surprise. he would have never though you would ever raise your voice at him but the way you held onto his baby and walked away made him think that maybe he should’ve put more thought into his decision.

he knew the baby was his. the small red hair poking out of his head just assured him that your son was a Todoroki.

the night came when your friends beeped at you from the street. you kissed your baby goodnight as your mom reassured you that it was okay to enjoy your night out. the mom guilt was crawling up and your mom was able to see that a part of you didn’t want to leave your son but nevertheless, you kissed your son once more before grabbing your bag and leaving.

all of your friends decided on a 18+ club for the night. you knew since none of you were old enough to drink, you would be getting home safe and all together.

“do any of you want a soda? I’ll purchase the first person who raises their hand,” your friend Rei’s hand instantly shot up as she asked for a Bubly instead.

you walked to the bar and ordered the sparkling water and soda as you went to the other side to wait for it. as you sat on the stool, you felt a weight next to you and looked at who sat down.

it was a boy, maybe only one or two years older than you. he had the blondest hair you had ever seen and blue eyes you could get lost in. he gave you a wide smile earning your shy one in return.

“hey, I’m Toshinori,” he screamed through the music. you shook his hand in response, “I’m ( your name ), nice to meet you!” you yelled back.

you woke up next to Toshi and smiled at his. ever since he became the symbol of peace and offered to move back to Japan to focus on his hero work here, the time you spent with him was more prevalent.

your son was now five. he had fiery red hair and developed a combination of your quirk and Enji’s.

it took a while for you to trust another man after your situation with Enji but Toshi understood you completely. he was more than happy to take Enji’s place and become your sons new father. not only that but you were now carrying his brother.

although you and Toshi weren’t married, he had gotten you pregnant and you didn’t necessarily hate the idea of making your son a brother. Toshi promised he would take at least two months off to make sure you and the baby were well taken care off while making sure your son didn’t feel too left out.

when he found out his rival was your sons father, there’s a point a few times in the relationship that had you holding Toshi back from wanting to basically obliterate Enji into the ground.

the fact that Enji thought of you as scum made him gag and once you told him the comments he made about your son, he knew that if he ever came face to face with the fire hero, he would probably get arrested for assault

you struggled to get out of bed but knew you had to make a run to the store to get some food you had been craving since last night.

as you made the trudge to your sons room, you noticed Toshi already in there, silently trying to wake him up. you knew that if neither of you did, he would be asleep till at least noon.

your son stirred awake and hugged Toshi for the morning comfort as you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. your son had known of his situation with his dad and Toshi. he never really pressed you for more information but all he knew is that Toshi was his dad and his biological dad was no longer in the picture.

“are you ready to go to the store?” Toshi asked as he placed a few small kisses on your bare shoulder after your shower. you hummed in response, “ ( your sons name ) is eating breakfast so we can stop for your coffee on the way to the store.”

you gave Toshi a kiss before quickly finishing getting ready and waddling your way downstairs. your son and Toshi were talking amongst each other while Toshi swung the keys around his finger.

“ready!” you exclaimed as your son hugged your shoulder, “lets make the trip quick. I don’t want people seeing you in public for a long time,” Toshi murmured in your ear as you rolled your eyes jokingly.

since Toshi found out that you were pregnant, he trapped you inside of the house. he hated the media talking about him so when they spoke about you in a negative way, he was ready to fight anyone and everyone. Toshi even punched a slimy reporter who was saying comments about you and your son.

the drive to the grocery store was filled with your son talking gibberish with you and Toshi. he had your personality because Enji was hardly talkative when you knew him.

you three arrived to the store as Toshi and your son went in the opposite direction of you. you grabbed the shopping cart from the stack and made your way to the frozen food section.

you had to get a weeks worth of dinner plans and a few snacks for yourself. you struggled to grab the green peas from the top of the shelf when you saw a hand reach for them and bring them down for you.

you looked up to see the last person you expect. Enji was towering over you as shock was written all across of his face. the two of you stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do.

“mommy! mommy! look! dad bought me a new hero coloring book,” you heard your son exclaim. you eyes widen as he stood next to you as Toshi immediately recognized what was happening, “mommy? is everything okay?” your son asked.

“yeah, everything is okay,” you whispered as Enji and Toshi unknowingly sized up with each other, “hey, c’mon, we need to hit the vitamin aisle. ( your sons name ) needs his vitamins and I’m running out of pre-natals,” you mentioned.

Enji stared at you again, “you’re pregnant to him?” he asked as you nodded slowly, “of course she is. it’s a family trip,” Toshi emphasized the word family as he looked down to his son.

Enji eye’s widened as he stared at his first born. he had the Todoroki red hair and couldn’t help but wonder if he had his quirk or yours. Enji was able to tell that his son was terrified of the situation.

“come on, let’s go,” you whispered to both your son. you were nothing short of a petty bitch. you gave Toshi a kiss on the lips, making sure it was as dramatic as possible before retracting. your son started to gag dramatically as you made sure your lipstick stain stayed on Toshi’s face making him chuckle, knowing exactly what you were doing.

Toshi and Enji stared at each other, not saying a word for what felt like a century.

“are you taking care of her? does he have my quirk?” Enji muttered making Toshi laugh, “of course I am. I’m not you. I take care of what is mine,” Toshi retorted with a chuckle at the end, “but he does but he also has her quirk so it’s not like you’re anything too special. he uses ( your name )’s quirk more anyway.”

Enji growled at the fact that Toshi was getting amusement at Enji’s misfortune. Tosh gave one final laugh before leaning into Enji’s ear.

“looks like I won again.”

ALITA

419 notes · View notes

miraculousluvbug · 3 years

Text

WINGLESS | Ch. 7

***New to Wingless? Start at Chapter 1!

CH. SUMMARY: After Chat learns Ladybug told Rena her identity, Plagg's solution is simple: tell someone he's Chat Noir so they're even! Duh.

Unbeknownst to the three wicked stooges, Paris’s favorite cat boy sat perched upon a rooftop adjacent to the mansion, ogling the interaction between his father, his trusted assistant, and his absolute least favorite person in the entire world.

Next to Hawk Moth, of course.

As they tittered and conspired in the darkness, Chat Noir narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t help but find the whole thing . . .

Shady.

“Claws in.”

Plagg whizzed out of the ring and looked up at his holder with sad kitten eyes. Adrien avoided making eye contact, practically drilling a hole into the ground with the intensity of his glare. He hugged his knees to his chest and picked at his shoelaces.

“That was pretty rough, kid.”

Adrien sniffled and roughly smeared away his tears with the back of his hand.

“I was hoping her explanation would make me feel better, Plagg.”

Adrien hugged his knees tighter.

“But it made me feel so much worse.”

“Oh, Adrien,” Plagg crooned, shoulders drooping. He hesitated for only a second before flying to Adrien’s shoulder and nuzzling his holder’s neck.

“She doesn’t want to know me, Plagg. Am I really that bad?”

“Not at all. I already told you that no other Chat Noir could be you. I meant it. You’re the best Chat Noir I’ve ever had.”

Adrien’s sniffles quieted, but the tears persisted. He had no idea how to stop them now that they had started. With gut-wrenching envy, Adrien watched the person he hated most engage in chit-chat with his father as if it was the most casual occurrence. The man even went as far as sharing whatever was on his tablet, a feat Adrien had been trying to accomplish since before he could remember. His father always claimed to be private, unwilling to share any kind of imperfect designs with his own son.

But there Lila was. Conversing with his father more than he himself had in the past week.

And Ladybug had given her most sacred secret to Rena Rouge.

Was he invisible?

He felt so small.

Lost at sea.

A blip in the turbulent waters that no one knew was missing.

He was a boy overboard with no life raft. And no one knew to look for him.

His soul was cold and his heart felt numb.

“You know what?” chirped Plagg suddenly, snapping Adrien out of his spiral. “Ladybug is the new Guardian, right?”

Adrien nodded hesitantly. Where was he going with this?

“What’s her only rule?”

“We can’t know each other’s identities.”

Plagg hovered in front of Adrien’s eyes and flipped onto his back, making a show of nonchalance. If this was gonna work, Plagg had to make the kid think it was kind of his own idea. “Who can’t know each other’s identities?”

Adrien was unamused. To him, Plagg was beating a dead horse.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

Plagg popped open one eye. He didn’t need to open both for Adrien to see the blatant impishness in them.

“So Ladybug and Chat Noir can’t know each other’s identities. What about . . . other people?”

The blonde ball of despair perked up, hair bouncing into his eyes, though they immediately narrowed at his Kwami’s scheming.

“But Master Fu--”

Plagg interjected, “--who isn’t the guardian anymore.”

Adrien blinked.

Kwamis, Plagg was so close to convincing his kid to be selfish for once. He just needed a push! A hefty, premeditated shove off the Fu-forsaken cliff!

“It’s like I’ve always said. Beg for forgiveness, not for permission.” Plagg folded his little paws across his chest, floating right up to Adrien’s nose. Adrien went cross-eyed trying to maintain eye contact. “Ladybug told Rena. So the question is: who’s Chat Noir going to tell?”

“It’s--” Adrien spluttered. “It’s risky, Plagg!”

“And so is being depressed,” Plagg snarled back, surprising Adrien. “Any other person gets minorly inconvenienced and akumatized, who saves them? You--” the Kwami jabbed a paw into Adrien’s nose “--and the bug. But you or Ladybug get akumatized, who saves you?”

Plagg saw the cogs turning in Adrien’s head. He briefly speculated who his kid might choose. Nino would be the obvious choice. He wasn’t as close to Kagami any more, but telling her the secret that had broken them apart would certainly be one hell of an apology. It could even, say, potentially repair what the secret had fractured.

There was also the off chance Adrien might choose Pigtails, who coincidentally doubled as Ladybug. Plagg would have to raid the Agreste kitchen for popcorn if that happened.

“If . . .” Adrien began.

Yes? Plagg internally coaxed.

“If I were to choose someone . . .”

Come on, Adrien.

“I think it would be . . . Nino.”

Yahtzee.

Plagg clapped his paws together over and over, rousing Adrien from his feet like a drill sergeant. “All right, then! Let’s go, let’s go! Hustle, bell boy. We’ve got places to be!”

Adrien reached into his pocket and pulled out a squishy triangle, letting loose the most intoxicating aroma Plagg ever did smell. It circled the pair and made Plagg salivate. “Don’t you want this first?”

Did I really forget about camembert? Plagg wondered incredulously.

“I--” Plagg scrambled for an excuse to atone for the touchy-feelies interfering with his one true love, but he came up short. “Of course I want that!”

Adrien smiled fondly at his Kwami and threw the camembert into the air. Not one to miss a beat, Plagg zipped and caught the cheese in his mouth, devouring the thing in one fell swoop.

“Now we can go!” said Plagg, belching remorselessly. Naturally.

Adrien chuckled. When he opened his mouth to say the transformation phrase, however, he faltered. Was he really going to do this? It . . . It felt disobedient, like he was betraying Ladybug. But could she really hold it against him, if she had needed to do the same?

Would his partner reveal herself to be a hypocrite?

The budding consequences of revealing himself to Nino weighed so heavily on his shoulders that he wasn’t sure how he would manage batoning into the air once transformed. The aptitude for disappointment just felt so tangible to him, as if it were physically chaining him to the rooftop, a meaty claw so solidly wound ’round his ankles it threatened to pierce his skin.

The thought that Nino might hate him for keeping the secret in the first place made home in Adrien’s cerebral cortex, further immobilizing him. It pulled up a chair and opened the morning newspaper like it was meant to be there, meant to remind him that not everything was just simple. Straightforward. Without fallout.

A tender paw touched his cheek, wiping away a runaway tear.

“Kid,” whispered Plagg. His eyes were misty.

Is that . . . because of me? Because he cares about me?

Holding his gaze a moment longer, Adrien uttered the words that once changed his life forever and seemed to be forever following him with new and improved ways to spice up his routine.

“Claws out.”

The energy washed over him like a cold shower, springing him into action. The need to move, to run, to fly nipped at his heels and before he knew it, he was vaulting to his best buddy’s.

If Adrien was honest, telling Marinette, his dearest friend, was his first instinct. He gripped that realization like it would fly away at a moment’s notice, at the slightest spook (he was on the precipice of truly understanding what his good friend Marinette really meant to him). But he had heard from Nino that Alya and Marinette were holed in for a “girls’ night,” so . . . Nino was the next best thing.

Nino was far from second place, however. Sharing the burden of his greatest secret with the guy who got mad at Gabriel Agreste on Adrien’s behalf was like a breath of fresh air. More than that, it was like Adrien would finally be able to steady his head above the tide.

(Telling Marinette would have been like sprouting gills and uncovering the mystery of the sea up close and personal, but Adrien didn’t want to unpack that particular conclusion yet.)

Wasting no time, Chat Noir landed nimbly on Nino’s apartment balcony and tucked his baton back into place. Giving himself just one more moment before life as he knew it was spun upside down--for better or for worse was yet to be determined--he raised a gloved claw to the sliding glass door and timidly knocked.

Nino’s balcony wasn’t decorated like Marinette’s. A few bikes of various sizes loitered against the railing, collecting dust. A few helmets hung limply from their handlebars, occasionally shifting to and fro in the passive wind. Chat could discern by the light-up training wheels which bike belonged to Nino’s little brother, Chris. The bike--which Chat realized must be new since his last visit--sported black spots against its red frame.

Chat shook his head fondly.

Someone obviously developed an appreciation for the bug after their last akumatization. But as the evening breeze softly twisted the helmet, the vision before him melted him into a puddle of endearment. Nino’s kid brother apparently also had a thing for Chat Noir.

The evidence?

A black helmet topped with an acid green paw print and two plastic cat ears to boot.

Un-fur-tunately, as much as the sight was incredibly thera-paw-tic, it also made his heart throb. His body ached for a larger family, from head to toe and down to his bones.

Adrien didn’t dream often in his sleep, but when he did . . . Oh, when he did, he was blessed with visions of him entering a cozy one-story home (his) and immediately being greeted by giggling and the blinding smiles of three faceless children (also his).

While his hopelessly romantic heart yearned for Ladybug to be his other half in that tender fantasy, lately his subconscious had a habit of inserting a particular blue-haired classmate. It baffled him at first, but he figured seeing her family photo that one time during Animan in addition to experiencing the Dupain-Chengs’ bolstering hospitality personally as both Adrien and Chat Noir made Marinette a safe space for his lonely imagination.

Whoever she married would be one lucky bastard, that was for sure.

The curtains behind the glass door swept dramatically to the side, revealing a bewildered Nino in Rena Rouge-themed pajamas.

“Chat Noir?!” he exclaimed. The glass between them muffled his voice.

A quick scan beyond Nino told Chat that his friend was home alone, but he knew he needed to be certain. “Are you home alone?”

Nino paled before realizing that a superhero asking that question wasn’t as bad as some random adult looking for an easy target. He exhaled, chuckling nervously. “My family went to the ice rink, but skating’s so not my jam.”

So he stayed behind. Good. This was gonna be a piece of cake! Adrien pointed at the door handle and raised his eyebrows in question.

“Oh, right. Sorry, dude!”

Nino clambered to unlock the door and wrenched it open. The smell of broth and herbs hit Adrien square in the nose. His stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten since lunch. “What brings you here? An akuma?”

Stepping over the threshold, Chat tried to make sense of Nino’s question. Why would he come to a civilian if there was an akuma? “No, no akuma, Nino.”

“Oh, good, ’cause I-- Dude, how did you know where my room is?”

If Chat weren’t there to reveal his identity, he might have had a heart attack over accidentally bee-lining to Nino’s room like he’d been there before. He probably would have said something fishy like “In a house like this, it’s a given!” But he didn’t have to make up some ridiculous excuse. He wouldn’t ever have to lie to his best friend.

Never again.

“Because . . .”

Nino eyed Chat expectantly. His room was a mess. He really wasn’t expecting any visitors and his laptop was still open, his music and film ideas scrawled onto random pieces of notebook paper and scattered across his desk like a madman. Or an artist. Was there really a difference?

“Because . . .” Chat began once more.

Oh, gosh. This was it. He was going to do it. He was going to do the thing! He was alone at sea and no one from the boat had noticed him falling overboard. But maybe, just maybe Nino was the Coast Guard. Maybe Nino would throw him a buoy.

“Because claws in.”

Nino’s entire body went rigid. Crap, crap, crap!

“No, wait--!” Nino shouted, closing his eyes instinctually and reaching for Chat Noir. He had to pull him away from his laptop’s camera field! Had to get him out of sight! Why did he choose now to share Paris’s most coveted secret?!

But . . . he was too late.

The light had already dimmed behind his eyelids by the time his hands were closed around--

“Adrien?” Nino whispered, peering up at his best friend. The duckling he had sworn to protect and teach the ways of life was standing where Chat Noir should be.

Adrien smiled and opened his mouth to respond, but a high-pitched laughter rang out and the joy he felt was quickly replaced with sheer terror.

Nino grinned sheepishly.

“Uh haha, you remember my girlfriend Alya who I sometimes Skype with while working on scripts?” Clumsily, Nino rubbed comforting circles into Adrien’s arms as if he could rub away the embarrassment.

“You said you were home alone.”

“Actually, I said my family went to the ice rink.”

Adrien’s eye twitched.

Plagg, who couldn’t have foreseen this turn of events, hovered off to the side and figured if he didn’t move, he could pretend he was invisible.

Sure enough, Adrien craned his head to find an unhinged Alya screeching like a fox (he had seen a video of them laughing once on YouTube; they were so adorable!) from Nino’s computer screen. Behind Alya was a familiar cork board of friends and, well, lots of himself. The walls were pink. She was at Marinette’s like Nino said she would be.

Adrien had expected gasps. Finger pointing. A million questions. What he hadn’t expected was Alya laughing like he was the butt of a joke.

After a good minute of cackling and awkward waiting from the boys, Alya sighed and wiped a tear from her eye. Then she spoke, a dazed smile on her lips.

“I cannot wait to strangle that Hawaiian-shirt-loving Master of Unnecessary Manipulation.” Her words were completely contrasted by the amusement in her voice.

Adrien tried not to faint.

-----

We're now caught up with AO3 here on Tumblr (AO3 is where I first started posting this). Yay! :D Also, was anyone expecting Rena to be there? 😌I wasn't. 😳 Follow me for updates and check out my Instagram where I post art!

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deithe · 3 years

Text

the bones (2,847 words) (1/1)

(an introspective on jason grace. kind of?)

read here on ao3 or read below the cut!

jason falls in love with the human equivalent of a forest fire

(his mother fell in love with the sky itself)

jason grace grew up being told that his destiny was very, very simple.

his first and most important mission, handed down to him from lady juno and mother lupa, was that jason was destined to save rome. that his destiny lay with new rome and camp jupiter, a new romulus to lead the pack to greatness. he would spill so much blood in new rome’s name that the little tiber would overflow and the gods would crown him with a golden laurel made from monster ichor.

he would be everything everyone else needed.

a spear for the senate, a shield for new rome, a standard to replace the one that had been lost, a sword for the gods to wield, and another pack member for lupa. he would be the perfect soldier, a demigod fashioned by two god-mothers for the simple act of being a weapon.

his second duty was that jason was to be nothing like his father.

his father, evil, unpredictable, selfish and cruel, was to be jason’s antithesis. lady juno stressed this, as did the senate, as did his praetors (though praetor saville jason eventually killed in battle, so jason doesn’t take her words to heart anymore). jason was never, ever to be like his father. all sons of jupiter before him were either driven insane or were killed, and jason’s great destiny could not afford for him to do either of those things.

‘hubris’ lady juno once told him, while going through his latin lessons in the damp cold of the den (or wolf house, as she called it), ‘is the thing that kills sons of jupiter’.

so jason was to never be prideful, but at the same time, never to believe he was inferior. he was to be subservient but never meek, he was to be a capable fighter but never violent. he was to be kind but not a pushover. open but not flirtatious.

he was to be perfect. he could not afford anything else.

then he, in the span of a few months, murdered his prateor after finding out she was a traitor, watched his friend be assaulted by a family legacy of prophetic visions which turned him into a paranoid asshole, watched his other friend assume a leadership role, one which he tried to refuse, and fought an army, killed a titan and toppled kronos’ black throne.

he also became praetor and then was promptly kidnapped by lady juno, leaving said other friend with all the responsibility.

then any and all plans the gods had for him were ruined by a daughter of aphrodite with eyes like the earth and a son of hephaestus with a smile like war.

how could jason be the perfect soldier when his loyalties no longer lay with new rome? he loved his home, he loved his siblings-in-arms, he loved the legion-

he loved leo and piper more than the breath in his lungs, than the sky and earth and more than his destiny. he loved them enough to try and find whatever scraps of himself he had. to create something they could love too.

(heracles killed himself after accidentally killing his family. love killed him in the end)

and so, jason failed in his first mission. he could no longer put new rome above them, above camp half-blood.

jason doesn’t think becoming his father is an option for him, however. his father is prideful and arrogant and his father's likeness, he will eventually learn, belongs only to his prodigal sister.

and so, jason grace finds his last name, a family he never knew, friends he could die for and an empty cabin that seemed less lonely with leo or piper in it.

then they went on a quest, leo built a ship and they all set sail to stop gaia from rising.

then jason lost leo, then jason lost everything, then jason lost himself and then lost piper-

and, in the middle of winter, leo valdez came crashing down on a metal dragon with eyes like a nuclear explosion and teeth made for tearing meat from bone, or tearing jason’s heart from his chest.

and then jason found himself again in the space between the junction between leo valdez's fourth and fifth ribs.

leo valdez is a lot of things. he’s a son of hephaestus and a complete asshole. he’s the first child of hephaestus to be born with the ability to create and control fire in over 400 years. he’s a 5’4ft guy who wears platformed boots to make himself seem taller. he’s so powerful that he obliterated gaia. he’s a genius. he thinks spraying axe bodyspray on himself is the same as a shower. he overworks himself even when he doesn’t have to. he can fight gods and go toe-to-toe with any big three kid and hold his own. he likes to survive on a diet of mango monster energy and takis. he's obnoxious. he's thoughtful. he makes mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense. he's the best person jason's ever met

he’s-

currently late for their date.

It’s not that jason minds, per se, but leo has a nasty habit of getting so completely lost in his work that he can plan a date for the next day, and jason won’t see him for at least three days. it’s one of the downsides of being the trophy boyfriend of a genius.

jason sighs and rocks back on his heels, eyes darting up to the grey, overcast sky. he can almost hear leo in his head, asking if he could pretty please make it less goddamn cold? and his pout when jason refuses to change the weather for him.

it's not that jason won't. it's just that he can't. it makes aeolus snappy.

sometimes he still does it. manipulates the air currents just enough to warm the air around them and leo smiles, a real one, small and soft. like it wasn't meant to be seen. a secret thing, just for jason.

jason doesn't see leo smile like that often.

it's mid-february in new york and jason is kicking around central park in the grey mid-day light. it's quiet, this part of the park, with barely anyone passing jason as he leans against a tree, wet dew dripping into his unstyled hair. it's cold, but not cold enough for a freeze or snow. just the right amount of cold to turn your hands numb and purple from cold

which. if you've never seen leo 'was raised in texas and has fire powers' valdez in new york snow, jason fully believes you've never lived.

he spends another 30 minutes splitting his time from staring into space and wandering around the meeting spot they've arranged. it's peaceful here. jason can even hear some birds twittering and chirping in the trees above. the cold even stops bothering him. jason likes being alone sometimes.

it reminds him of the lupercal and lupa. long days and nights in the loneliness of the redwood forest. just him and the wolves and the stars.

though now jason has sturdy boots and a wool jacket, so not exactly the same.

he's in the middle of trying to coax a timid sparrow onto the hand, crouched on the balls of his feet when he feels a presence beside him. he goes stiff when he realises and then, like all the tension has been zapped out of him, goes relaxed again.

"that," leo whispers, also crouched beside jason, "is one fat fucking bird"

jason represses a grin, "don't say that. he's probably barely eaten all winter," and leo snorts, moving closer to jason so their shoulders brush. the bird regards leo with some caution but his black, beady eyes seem to acknowledge that jason would keep him safe.

"he looks better fed than me, jace. do you care more about this bird than your own poor boyfriend?" leo says, faux-sadness in his voice, "how cruel, jason grace. how cruel".

jason turns in time to see leo shake his head, black curls wild around his face as they shudder like leaves in the wind. his eyes are dark brown, watching the bird watch leo. a staring contest.

leo says his name like no one else does. like it's a name. like it's good. like it's something familiar and warm. he does not say 'jason' and imagine a great hero or a wolf-boy with no past. he does not say 'grace' like a joke, like grasp for power, like it carries too much weight for his tongue to bare.

he says it like it belongs to jason. he says it like it's important. not too fast, but not too slow.

leo turns his head to find jason staring at him.

"jason" he calls, lips quirking up at the edge, pulling out the 'o' like toffee, "i know i'm pretty irresistible but please, keep your longing stares for the bedroom"

jason shoves up against leo's shoulder, blush bursting across his already red-cold face.

he pushes just slightly too hard and leo goes spilling across the wet grass, yelping in surprise.

"jason!" he yells, looking up at jason half shocked and half in amusement. "what the fuck, dude!"

jason can't help himself.

leo is wearing jason's hoodie, the black one mrs.blofis picked out for jason which leo claimed as his own even before they started dating. his new denim, fur-lined jacket (from the hide of the nemean lion they killed last year) is just slightly too big and he's wearing black jeans. he looks like the college freshman he is. he looks mortal.

he looks human. he has leaves in his hair and his cheeks are flushed from the cold, teeth showing through the toothy smile he's giving and-

it's uncanny, sometimes, how well they can pass for normal. you almost can't tell leo's died and come back to life. you almost can't tell he's more powerful than any living mortal.

almost.

jason falls on top of leo in the wet grass, which causes leo to yelp, again, and knee jason in the stomach.

jason groans "dude, what the hades was that for?" and he rolls of leo, onto the wet grass beside him, arms protectively covering his bruised stomach.

"you fell directly on top of me, you big lug," and leo sits up, picking a leaf out of his curls absentmindedly, "if you haven't noticed, you're like a bean-pole with muscle mass. that shit hurts!"

jason pouts up at leo, who manages to look both unimpressed and fond. he rolls his eyes and offers his hand to jason, who accepts and leo hauls him into a sitting position in front of him

"hi, leo" jason says finally, "you're late"

"i'm not late, loser, you're just a nerd and get places earlier than normal people. its super weird," leo tells him, matter-of-factly, scooting closer to him as they sit on the ground. "you should really get it checked. might be terminal nerdiness. the glasses are just the first sign"

jason raises an eyebrow, curviving over said glasses. "i didn't know it could be terminal. oh well, guess i'll just wither away and die from being punctual. what an injust life i lead. how the sorrows never end"

leo pouts, eyes sparking with enough warmth to keep out the cold for decades to come, "don't be so down about it, I hear being a nerd has perks,"

jason moves closer, so his knees are half-pulled up to his chest and he's balancing his weight on his hand. leo fits perfectly in the bracket of his arms.

"oh? do tell?" he asks, and leo is close enough that jason can see the faint freckles on his cheeks. they're fading from how far away leo has been from the sun, but jason loves them anyways.

"yup," leo says, popping the p and smiling like the cat who got the cream. "do you know that all nerds get super hot and funny and sexy boyfriends? as compensation for being such nerds, of course"

jason pulls back his head a bit, just as leo laces his arms around his shoulders, "really?" and his voice is soft, but the smile won't disappear from his lips, "wow, didn't know that. guess I'm lucky that you're such a huge nerd or-"

leo kisses him like coming home. and in a way it is.

jason has known many homes. he's known the small apartment with his mother that smelt like spilt wine and smoke and mold. he's known the lupercal and the redwood forests around it. he's known the barracks at camp jupiter and the feeling of purpose in his chest. he's known cabin 1 and cabin 9 and bunker 9 and on the back of festus and on the argo. he's known the feeling of reyna laughing as he tells her wild stories and of the fifth cohort raising him on their shields. he's known lying in leo's private room with piper and leo, listening to low music and feeling safe with just them.

but the one person who jason has felt like home since they met was leo. his high ground through the tsunami. his parachute during a plane crash. the one point of home. like the north-star.

jason smiles into the kiss, his free hand tangling itself in the rough fabric of leo's dark blue denim jacket. it's soft and chaste, more a press of warm lips than anything. it's comforting. it's familiar. it's everything he wants.

leo pulls back a bit, just far enough to speak but still close enough that his breath brushes up against jason's cold face. "hi," he says, brushing his nose against his, "missed you, bro".

jason snorts, "i missed you too, leo, how's MIT treating you?"

"like i'm it's bitch is how it's treating me," leo tells him, slumping slightly into jason, forehead against jason's. "can we not talk about college? i think if we talk about college I might start crying and then our date will be ruined"

jason pulls back a bit to look at leo. he does look more tired than usual, eye-bags darker and lips bitten from nervousness. he frowns, using his free hand to cup his face. "are you okay? we can just go back to your dorm if you're too tired-"

"ugh, no way" leo groans, "fuck that. i just wanna spend time with you, okay? i wanna be mushy and all that gay shit. i want bad food and to kiss you again and again and do more than kissing-"

jason rolls his eyes.

"-and then go back to mrs.blofis apartment and watch really bad movies you like for some reason and then i'll go to sleep beside you and it'll be gay and shit"

"gay and shit?"

"gay and shit, you better believe it grace. but first-"

and leo untangles himself from jason and stands up, brushing the dirt from his knees leaving jason frowning on the floor.

he offers out his hand, brown skin calloused from work, long, thin fingers curled slightly as the palm faced upwards.

"c'mon, super, treat your louis lane to some greasy new york food before he decides batman has better pay"

jason is so, so lucky he got leo valdez. that the fates decides to make sure that his destiny crosses leo's. that he convinced leo valdez to let down his walls, to stay, that jason wouldn't leave him like the others, or hurt him or betray him.

that jason was in it for as long as leo wanted him to be. that jason only wanted leo to say his name, wanted to give it to leo because leo's the only one who's mouth jason trusts with it. that jason wanted to give leo his past. wanted to show him and tell him where he got each scar.

he trusts leo with this. he trusts leo's hands to not burn it all to ash. because he knows that if leo wanted to, he could. he could burn jason alive with a thought. turn him to ash and glass with a flick of his hand.

jason has fallen in love with a nuclear bomb, with a supernova of a boy and jason doesn't care if it kills him, because he has spent so long pretending to be what everyone else needed, that now he was going to be who he wanted to be. even if it got him killed. even if it burned him alive.

jason grace has fallen in love with the human version of a forest fire. he should be afraid of it, of leo. he is not. he never will be.

beryl grace fell in love with the sky itself. wanted all the stars in heaven and didn't care what happened to her. as long as she knew she had the stars attention. as long as she knew the sky loved her back.

as long as he knew the fire loved him back.

he takes his hand.

#my writing #jason grace #fanfic #hoo #toa has no power over me i do as i please #leo valdez #valgrace

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falling-pages · 3 years

Text

Losing Game: Hikaru x Reader

Inspired by Arcade by Duncan Laurence (please listen to it it’s so sad and really good)

“All I know, loving you is a losing game.”

College/Young Professional Hikaru x female reader

Angst

Warnings: I’m not exactly sure what to write. It’s not NSFW, it’s not smut, but there are mentions of sleeping around. No details, nothing explicit, only some mentions of it for context. No description or anything like that. Basically Hikaru being a deadbeat. Lots of angst. One or two instances of language.

Hikaru Hitachiin was an asshole.

You knew this before you started dating. His reputation had preceded him on your college campus, his bedroom the holy grail of frat houses. Seems like every time you walked through the academic lawn you could hear another story from another drooling student about another escapade he had put them through, another quest he had conquered. Rumor had it he collected rings from his lovers and wore them like notches in his belt, walking around in his sunglasses and leather jacket, hands out and swinging like an advertisement of his deeds.

It was disgusting, how he considered it all a game. A game he would always win, and they would always lose.

You couldn’t judge those wide-eyed students. Despite your anger, you understood the fascination with him: a man set to inherit millions, a confident attitude, enough bad boy swagger to dominate every frat you knew. And he was gorgeous--that red hair flaming in the wind, cocky smile reaching up to hazel eyes even made you feel weak in the knees.

But you ignored it, storming past him in the halls and never responding to his advances. Despite being born into wealth and power, he was the kind of man who always wanted what he couldn’t have--you, especially. You knew that to him you were just another notch on his belt, a ring on his finger. You’d die before you gave him that satisfaction.

Eventually, though, human nature had its way. You don’t remember how it happened, but one day he smiled at you, a real, genuine, lovely smile, and your stomach dropped. All you knew was that you were in big, big trouble.

You were in love.

Suddenly, the hatred had turned into a desire for him to be better, the disgust into wanting. You weren’t proud of it, but you couldn’t stop it. The curling of your toes became involuntary, the fleeting glances more stable. You couldn’t deny that the way he smiled at you made you dream of more. As you two became friends, even finding somethings in common, enjoying time spent together, you thought that maybe this wasn’t a game to him.

And then, one night, the barrier was broken.

It wasn’t a mistake, per se, but it did upend your life--out of that night your child was conceived, and you felt your heart dissolve into a thousand pieces. Suddenly you were yanked from your small town into the spotlight of Tokyo, the woman bearing Hikaru Hitachiin’s love child.

His first instinct was to run. Fresh out of college with a steady career path was in line for both of you, but now there was something else to account for, a little heartbeat intertwining both of yours. When he saw the positive stick, he experienced true fear for the first time. Fear that he would now have to give up his selfish ways, give up those games, give up his own reckless plans.

Neither of you wanted that.

And you--you were angry. Angry at him for doing this to you, despite being so careful. Angry for letting yourself fall for him into his chess board. Angry that you, and now your child, would be forever attached to him. You had done everything right so far, gotten into college, nabbed a great job, finally made something of yourself. And to have a child with him, of all people.

No matter how hard you tried, you would always lose his game.

The two of you broke up four months in, after tense weeks of disagreements and expectations. You wanted to keep the baby, but you had just gotten hired, and you couldn’t afford to waste all your college-earned credits in your first year of professional adulthood. So he pulled some strings and made your boss keep you, with generous maternity leave. For that you were the least bit thankful, but still hurting.

Something you hadn’t expected was him publicly claiming the child as his. Rumors spread, and he still loved you enough to keep you away and hidden from the paparazzi. But when asked if he did have a baby on the way, he couldn’t lie--that earned him a shred of respect from you.

Claiming the baby as his guaranteed comfort and financial support for the rest of its life, and yours, as well. You hated touching his money, but what else could you do? It was part of the rules.

When it came time to give birth, you didn’t know if Hikaru would show. You didn’t know if you wanted him to. He had accompanied you on all prenatal visits and regularly checked in on you during the pregnancy, but actually seeing the baby was a barrier you didn’t know he would be willing to break.

And yet, he did. You crushed his hand throughout labor, until the nurse handed you your wailing son. Your first impression of him was that he was beautiful, a mirror image of his father. That was a fact you didn’t even hate--and when you placed him in Hikaru’s arms, seeing this intriguing man become selfless for the first time in his life, you felt some shred of love return.

He stayed in your apartment for the first six weeks. It was lavished with everything a celebrity baby would need, but having him sleep beside you again was the real treat. You didn’t want to admit it, but feeling his arms and hearing him breathe in his sleep made you feel that heady, heart swelling way again.

Maybe you could all be a little family after all. Maybe he did, in fact, love you in return.

You two were able to laugh again, mosey about doing chores and enjoy spending time together. You had forgotten how easy it was to talk to him. He had forgotten how quickly you could roast him. Somehow, you both were able to patch up the brokenness and feel love again. Perhaps having a baby had matured him, made him lose focus of his games.

Another barrier broken: he kissed you.

You had just finished nursing your son and were pumping when Hikaru came into the bedroom. He sat on the armchair in the corner, resting after deep cleaning the bathroom, but when he looked at you, he smiled. Too exhausted to say a word, you smiled back.

He approached you, bent down to brush away your hair, and kissed you.

Surprised was a mild way to put it. Here you were, in the least attractive position possible, receiving a kiss from the man you weren’t sure you loved or hated. But the feeling of his lips was comforting, it was home, it was everything you needed to get through the night, no strings attached. It reawakened feelings you thought you killed. And the way he kissed--gently, with no sultry motivation, just to express his love--made you realize exactly what you were feeling.

I love you, you gasped when he pulled away.

The declaration shocked you, but he only smiled. I love you, too, came the hushed whisper as he leaned back in.

And for the rest of the night, there was only your son, your noisy pump machine, and him.

But, as with everything with him, it was too good to be true.

Just when everything had been going well, just when you felt your heart mend, he ripped it to shreds.

I think it’s best I leave, he had told you. You were nearly healed, and the baby wasn’t quite as fussy. He missed his family, he said. His real family.

Blindsided as you were, you felt it coming. The last two weeks had been too sweet to really be from his heart. You miss your family, you said, when your family was right in front of him?

He stood there and stared at the ground, coat already on and the collar already popped. You don’t miss your family, you spat. Tears burned behind your eyes, and your son felt heavy in your arms. You miss the old you.

I do love you, he said. I do. But we’re not a good match. I can’t be a good father--he deserves so much better than me.

You don’t want him to have a father who drinks and parties and doesn’t take responsibility for his actions? You said. You don’t want him to be like you when he grows up?

The venom was tattooed on your tongue as you felt the love wash away. It was wrong. He was wronging you and your child. That precious baby with his eyes, his hair, and his last name.

He just walked away, like he always did.

You took the ring off your finger and threw it at him, watching as it bounced off the wall near his head and down to the floor. Here, you said. Another ring for your stupid collection. You win your little game yet again.

You should have known. Loving him was a losing game.

If you enjoy what I write, please consider buying me a coffee :)

#ouran high school host club #ohshc #hikaru hitachiin #hikaru x reader #hikaru x female reader #angst #hikaru angst #ohshc angst #hikaru hitachiin x reader #ohshc hikaru

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hawkinsschoolcounselor · 3 years

Note

Hi hi! I'm glad you're well, except for the commute (oof). If you haven't done this already, I'd love to hear thoughts from you about Brenner. First of all, how does someone like him live with doing the sort of things he's done? Also, with him being "papa" to El in her early life, how well would you say stories of why abusive parents abuse, and how they understand what they're doing, fit to understanding Brenner's behavior and mind? (I hope that all makes sense?) Thanks! and have a good one! ^_^

Ok, you’ve been waiting for this one for quite some time. I apologize. It’s been hard to stay motivated between all the stress of the past year and the lack of fresh Stranger Things content. You’ve put forth a very thought-provoking question, as it really demands that I get into the question of human behavior and why anyone does anything, let alone something that many would see as horrible.

Too often, people like to write certain people off as “just plain evil.” This is a problematic argument, however, as it avoids any exploration as to why something might have happened. If we don’t understand the root of a given behavior, we leave ourselves open to it happening again. Brenner isn’t evil, but only because “evil” is a social construct that isn’t naturally occurring. Brenner himself would certainly give all sorts of justifications for his actions, and that is the real issue here. A stereotypically “evil” person would know he is doing wrong, and either not care or enjoy it.

Brenner doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done. He may know it’s illegal, even unethical, but he sees himself as doing something great. Those who are hurt along the way are simply the cost of doing business, for lack of a better term. He has little, if any, remorse for his actions. Everything is justifiable to him if it works towards his goals. What are his goals? First, to achieve greatness. Second, to have his greatness known. The closest he gets to caring for something other than himself is his desire to defeat the Russians, but that may well be driven by his desire for greatness rather than a desire to help his country. He’s not out to hurt anyone, but he cares little if that’s what it takes.

What this shows is a disregard for the rights of others, along with the previously mentioned lack of remorse. This is where an evil argument can be made, since it creates a situation where he quite simply seeing others as lesser than himself. This is what leads to people treating others as subhuman and expendable. Most people, even when put into a situation that requires decisions that can result in others being seriously hurt or killed, will struggle with it. It’s the sort of thing that would haunt the average person, even if they tried to rationalize it away, at least until they became desensitized to it.

We get no sense that Brenner himself was simply broken down until this emotionally detached person was all that was left. There’s no indication that he came into his research as someone with ethical standards, but got disillusioned over time. Everything we see in Stranger Things, as well as the supplemental materials, tells us that this is basically Brenner’s modus operandi. Any display of emotion from him is simply part of a greater strategy of manipulation. He tricks his subjects into thinking he cares for them, and, especially with the children, grooms them to see him as a father figure whom they will wish to please.

Using Brenner as an exploration of abusive parents is a bit dicey, as his parental status is essentially fake. God willing, he has no actual children. Still, it can work as a sort of metaphor, I suppose. An abusive parent would behave similarly, unrealistic elements of the series aside, in that I’d wager that abusive parents rarely see themselves as abusive. I don’t have any research handy for this, but, anecdotally, people take on traits of their parents (and other significant people in their lives growing up). The cycle of abuse is not a conscious choice that people make, and this is what makes it difficult to break. Billy was abusive because Neil was abusive. Billy started to see Neil’s methods as the only way to 1) be safe and 2) get what you want. Neil’s abuse of Billy likely decreased in frequency and severity as Billy took on traits that Neil appreciated. This reinforced the behavior in Billy, turning him into a carbon copy of the man he hated. Billy also likely harbored a great hatred of himself, assuming he had moments where he was able to clearly see the person had become. Abusive parents, particularly those who had been abused, would likely have a similar sense of shame once the defense mechanisms stop protecting them from their own behavior.

I’m not sure Brenner would feel ashamed of himself, though. Even if someone, somehow stripped away his delusions of grandeur, arrogance, and claims of the ends justifying the means, there’s no reason to believe that Brenner would have a Heel Realization. He’s not a Well-Intentioned Extremist or He Who Fights Monsters who simply needs to be put down. The man is a sociopath. He doesn’t value others enough to have any genuine emotional attachment with them. If you watch his scenes with El, you can actually see that any reactions he has are due to the results of his experiments with her. His emotional attachments are centered on his work. These people are subjects to him, merely nameless numbers. Their names only exist to allow him to put up a paternal front, so they feel compelled to obey and desire to please him.

I think a better look at abusive parents in Stranger Things would be with Neil or Lonnie. They’re both horrible people, but at least tried to be parents in their own twisted way. If we use the story of Lonnie taking Jonathan hunting to illustrate parenting, we can sort of see the differences. A good dad would see his son is upset and end the hunting trip. An abusive dad, like Lonnie, would make his kid do it anyway because he thought it’d toughen his son up and because he cared more about what other people thought than how his son felt. Brenner tried to make El kill a rabbit just to see if she could, so she can be a weapon.

Lonnie was a selfish abusive asshole, but Brenner was only ever in it for himself. El would have been killed or locked away in an asylum if her powers never developed. It takes a lot to come across as worse than Lonnie, but, hey, there’s always a bigger fish.

#stranger things #martin brenner

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outoftimewriting · 4 years

Text

Imagine (based on the incomplete fanfic Son of the Underworld) (Son of Hades! Percy AU) (5/5) or (5/10)

Hey so, this is the last part of PJO - I follow into HOO, so before you read this, check on the masterpost - and read the warnings before proceeding :)) Good reading!

Annabeth comes to him, at the end of his fifteenth birthday party, and shows her Daedalus laptop. There's a document open in it, and it's labeled Achilles' Curse.

Percy doesn't read it - he hates reading, in any way or form or language - but she does, out loud.

"I'll think about it"

They have a year. Most of them, even those who aren't year-rounders, are going back to camp, to draw battle plans and stock on the armory.

He feels kinda selfish - for a whole five seconds before he remembers he'll probably die next summer, so he just shrugs it off - Percy deserves this year.

They all leave to go back to camp. Nico seems conflicted over something - but Perseus doesn't question it, there's enough bad blood between them.

Paola is really cool - and Sally really loves her. It's kind of bizarre at first, to see his Mom dating his teacher - and of a subject he hates - but Paola is calm and well-tempered and she laughs at his stupid ass jokes.

He visits Persephone afterward - and it really feels like he has three moms to fulfill his lack of a father - well, he is absolutely grateful for the women in his life.

Percy isn't truly in good terms with his father. The man doesn't really seem to care much for him as a person - he is much more of a trophy son.

Perseus loathes being a trophy son, but at least he has someone to help with his powers - not something a lot of half-bloods can claim.

So he goes back to school with Rachel, and they pretend everything is normal. He tells her about his quests - all three of them. He thinks she understands him better now.

He opens up to her. Tells her about Annabeth - the adrenaline-fueled kiss - and Rachel stops talking with him for a week.

She apologizes when she comes back. She needed to figure some things up - firstly, the redhead tells him she is probably asexual - and maybe aromantic too, but she is not certain because the internet wasn't really clear about that.

Then Rachel confesses that she is not jealous of him in a romantic way - she is envious of his friendship with Annabeth. Percy is her first genuine friend that really appreciates her.

This is the first grudge Perseus lets go for real before it even takes place - Rachel didn't leave him because of teenage drama, she ignored him out of confusion. Everyone is allowed space - he knows this better than anyone.

They don't kiss anymore. Not because Rachel doesn't like it - no, she is all for it - but because Percy is starting to think kisses should mean something - he is saving them.

They kiss once - when Rachel father calls for the first time this year - not to ask about her, but to tell Rachel he found this amazing all-girls school. To Percy, kisses mean comfort.

They cuddle a lot, though. These past few years of fear have made Percy very touch-starved.

It's sophomore year - and Percy is in five AP classes: Macroeconomics&Microeconomics, Statistics, Calculus AB, Physics 1, and Comparative Government and Politics.

He is planning on taking both AP Computer Science classes, Psychology, Physics 2, and Calculus BC next year; leaving only Electricity&Magnetism, Mechanics, Chemistry, and World History for his senior year.

If he lives, he is working on a tight schedule here. He doesn't know what he wants yet - and if he is in constant danger, it's already pretty lucky he can do high school - but probably something with Math.

Rachel says fourteen AP courses are ambitious - that he'll burn out. But math comes to him easily enough - it's in his blood.

She is also overworking: She is taking AP Environmental Studies, Art History, Drawing, 2-D Art and Design, and English Literature and Composition.

They complete each other. Rachel is planning on taking as many Art, History, and English courses as she can - he is taking as many Physics, Math, and Science as he can handle.

(She is also going to take on Japanese studies for some reason - probably for her GPA, but Perseus just teases her that she is getting too invested in anime)

Perseus doesn't care about languages anymore - the only languages that matter to him are C++ and JavaScript now.

They study together, they take naps together, they climb to the roof together, they flee school to visit Sally together - he is the Pinky to her Brain, the Scooby to her Shaggy, the Lois Lane to her Superman, the Robin to her Batman.

They look like troublemakers - They are honor roll students, but she is always with ripped pants dirty with paint, and he is always full of flowers everywhere, even in his muddy converses - a cliche to kill all cliches.

They're both nerds - he is the classic one, all polo shirts now, the first chair for every number-related class - and she is the artsy one - there's a brush behind her ear and her hair is so messy that half the time it covers her face.

Paola gifts him a pair of cheap frames without lenses once - saying it adds to the aesthetic - he totally uses them.

Persephone just makes him flower-crowns, and giggles when he matches them with his polo shirts.

When winter comes, he goes back to his hoodies and sweaters and gloves - to find out he doesn't miss them a lot.

Rachel introduces him to polaroids - and they look eerily pretty in the winter, her hair looking like blood spilling over the snow - and he loves it.

If he survives - he can feel Rachel slapping him - when he survives, his college credits will be remarkable. The idea of doing SATs makes him want to cry - reading always does - but he'll get somewhere good - he knows it. Perhaps Stanford. Or NYU. Or the dream of his life, MIT.

He is living his life to the fullest - he starts reading comic books, he gets really (really) into Tony Stark once Iron Man 1 comes out (even if he has to kill at least three monsters just to go to the movies), he plants trees and Rachel starts teaching him how to play her ukulele - but half his mind is still on the upcoming war.

Christmas vacation comes - and he goes to visit Camp Half-Blood, before heading back to his mom. It's quite memorable, if only by the fact that Nico Di Angelo freaking betrays him.

He tells Percy to come to the Winter Solstice with him. Most of the campers are not going - the war effort is in an all-time high - but Percy has never gone before. Hades will be there - it'll be great!

Perseus should absolutely be less surprised with the outcome - seeing that Nico is inviting him in Cabin 1, post-dinner, and they don't even stop to talk to Chiron about it.

But Percy goes. Because Percy wants to make amends.

There's no time to really talk to anyone. They travel in Blackjack for the Empire State Building - and it's fine.

They go up to Olympus, Nico shows him everything in the god's land, the temples are a work of art, if not kind of old, and the meeting is kind of okay, even if the gods are squabbling children.

Then the gods leave, and Perseus thinks they're leaving too.

"My father needs a word with you"

Perseus feels the betrayal claw on him. There are no shadows in the white hall, there's no way for him to escape. Nico looks apologetic - Percy wants to clock him in the face.

"He promised to tell me more about my mother" Nico pleads "He will tell me more about where I've come from. Please, Percy."

Nico is cute. He is, for a soon-to-be fourteen-year-old. But his pretty face and exquisite white eyes don't make him any less of a freaking liar. All his handsome male straight friends betray him - it's a worrying pattern now.

He muses for a second that they also all have a crush on Annabeth - gods, the blonde attract the worst types.

It's double-crossing - Percy ends up in an all-white cell that burns his retinas without any weapons because Zeus wants praise in the middle of this freaking war - doesn't matter if a hundred demigods die, if he only has the glory.

Nico ends up with barely any information - Zeus didn't promise anything. The god of the skies is a lying-ass motherfucker - literally.

And Zeus justifies it - He says Perseus is a criminal because he awakened Typhon. So Hephaestus issues a quest so he can save a hundred demigods, he destroys a powerful titan weapon of doom, and he is the villain? Sure, Jan.

Perseus writes this grudge in his heart - that's where trust will take you. To a cell. Betrayed by a "friend". Again.

He flinches when Nico comes into his cell, pins him to the wall and promptly begins to try and strangle him. He wants to melt in the boy's shadow - to go and never give him a chance to explain - but he looks so guilty Percy waits for his repentance.

The son of Zeus saves him, but Perseus is still pissed off. The god of thunder has threatened to kill him off at least two times now, what is to say he wouldn't have killed off Percy for the sake of glory?

He half hopes Zeus had killed him off. The war is close, too close - Nico wouldn't be the Prophecy's child. There would be no child. Olympus would fall - and Percy would have seen it all from his very comfortable couch in Elysium.

He wants Kronos gone - but he kind of wants Olympus to fall with the Titan.

Nico flies him down to the Earth - the elevator is monitored. Zeus has left, like many others - not to bother with the war effort against his main enemy, but to go to the human world mess with people.

Some gods are doing something - He has heard from Annabeth that Artemis is leading the widest hunt ever, with her brother by her side; Hermes (with Hephaestus help) is delivering Celestial Bronze, other metals, old schematics and a whole lot of fuel to Camp Half-Blood every few weeks; Poseidon is fighting his own war, in the ocean; Dionysus is at Camp - and this time, he is really helpful with the battle formations; Demeter is on the Underworld - Chiron seems to think his father is preparing for war, but Percy sorely doubts it.

Percy is taking some people with him to Sally's Christmas dinner. Just Annabeth, Clarisse, Rachel, Connor, Travis, and Charles - people who don't have a present family to celebrate it with.

Grover is coordinating the dryads up in San Francisco with his second cousin, Gleeson Hedge - they are the first to fall if anything goes wrong in Mt. Othrys.

"I think you should stay." He tells Nico.

"You don't trust me anymore." It's not actually a question.

Percy doesn't trust the boy. Not at all - it's the third time he does something shady to achieve his ends based on emotional turmoil. But he is a good person - it's just his father's cursed temper and his grief.

"It's not that. You're needed for the war effort."

Both of them know it's a lie. Percy doesn't care - he deserves to be bitter a little longer.

Percy goes back home. Christmas is amazing - even if Rachel asks him where Nico is because he is talking about making amends with the boy for a while now.

He goes visit Persephone - but she is occupied, so he wanders through the Underworld after Bianca di Angelo - someone he, for some reason, never been able to reach. It's a pointless endeavor by now.

He finds her. Or else, he finds a shadow of her - she is blocked from his view. Bianca doesn't talk to him - they weren't close - but she guides him to a girl.

Her name is Hazel Levesque.

She seems lost - like most ghosts - but something in Percy calls for her. It's the color of her skin and the sparkle in her golden eyes - Hazel remembers him of himself.

He promises to visit more - even though he doesn't think she'll remember it - and leaves to go back to the surface - he will finish the sophomore year.

And Percy does. After a very distressing break, he is doing his best. His grades drop a little in English because he can barely focus - half his mind is on the war and Nico's betrayal and Hazel Levesque's golden eyes.

Miraculously, his GPA doesn't fall - he still is taking a ridiculous amount of AP classes, and barely has time to breathe - dark circles grow under his eyes, and he looks like a mess - but now he is a Junior.

That's why, as soon as the year ends, Rachel takes him on a road trip with Connor. They go all the way to Boston, then Portland, Quebec, Montreal, Ottawa, Syracuse, Baltimore, and Filadelfia, before going back to NY.

They are stopped five times by the police - because Percy is black, and it's Rachel driving the Camaro, because she has a learner's permit and Connor is, somehow, an approved license holder.

They are on a pier, enjoying the view of the beach. They did the last week alone because Connor wanted to go check on one of his cousins - at least, that's what he said, with an over-exaggerated wink that both Percy and Rachel ignored for the sake of their sanity.

She tells him about Clarion Ladies Academy - but that her father is at least mildly happy with her GPA this year, even if he disapproves of her Art focused AP classes. Percy thinks Mr. Dare would love him, with his APs on Economics and Politics, if only he was rich. And white.

This time, when Charles Beckendorf arrives in a Pegasus to tell him it's time, Rachel doesn't kiss him - she justs hugs him and makes him promise to call her.

Perseus doesn't go to the Andromeda Ship - he is needed in Camp. He is useless on the water - but they do need him to improve battle strategy.

Charles Beckendorf is dead. Thalia is the one to tell them - she was in her father's palace helping with a monster under her Lady's orders - he went on the mission alone.

Percy talks briefly with Beckendorf's ghost - is his worst developed power, and he can barely hold the "seance" for more than a few minutes. He does it with only Nico di Angelo for witness - the others are the way to close to the situation.

There's a spy passing information to Luke.

They look at him. Doesn't matter how much he does, he is always the first suspect - he is a son of Hades. He was friends with a lot of people on the other side. He was gone for a year and a half, who knows where.

Perseus wants to say that he has helped to save their asses four times now - that without him in the Labyrinth, they would all be dead right now - and that Charles was basically his older brother.

Then he points out he wasn't even here - he had no idea of any plans of anything - and he told him about the spy, so he is not the freaking spy, go point fingers at each other instead of him.

When they start yelling, he stops them - this is not the time, he was just angry at their accusations. They have to burn Charles shroud. Silena is inconsolable - Percy is not very far from it, but he is not a public crier. The last time he cried in public, Luke was dead on a cliff.

Percy speeds up the line for Elysium to Beckendorf - his brother deserves it.

They read the prophecy together - Perseus already read it last summer, he doesn't even care anymore. They look at him anxiously - no one has forgotten that he abhors most of the gods.

Clarisse and Michael Yew fight, but Lee Fletcher - with a mechanical arm built by Beckendorf himself, still re-learning how to shoot arrows and forever incapable of playing the guitar again (but the keyboard is not ruled out yet) - stops them: They can share the chariot. The war is more important - is not the time for petty fights.

Chiron shows them Typhon - and Perseus has a sliver of hope that they can destroy Kronos and be free of the gods at the same time - It's a horrible hope, because he loves Persephone and some of them are even okay sometimes, but he really wants Zeus to go to Tartarus for at least a century, so Perseus doesn't meet him again in this life.

But he also wants the gods to win, because there's a lot of dead people - innocents, people who have nothing to do with this war.

He dreams of Rachel. Rachel is painting Luke - and Percy wakes up crying, for the boy the gods took away.

Annabeth takes him aside and reminds him of Achilles' Curse. He is off to May Castellan's house - the last place Luke has been - for it's his best and only chance, its what Annie thinks. And she is scarcely wrong.

Perseus hates the gods. They wrecked a family - and for what? May Castellan - forever waiting for a son that will never come back, haunted by visions of his future, plates of burned cookies everywhere.

Perseus doesn't pity her - he rages against the gods, who brought madness upon this woman and then left her to it. Where was Apollo, the god of health? Dionysus, who is supposed to control mental health? Artemis, whose job is to protect women?

Hestia is kind - but she is still a goddess. She could've prevented this - but she hides in her hearth and abstains - and that's enabling. Hestia enables the other gods to do as they please, even when she is the oldest. She says they ignore her - oh well, she ignores them right back! He has no time for the laments of another all-powerful being.

So he goes to his mother and asks for her blessing. Then, just to be sure, he asks Persephone's too.

He thinks about his anchor - where does he want it to be in his body. He doesn't want somewhere in his back - where he can't see it - or in his gut - where anyone can stick a sword. He settles for the bottom of his back - where he can at least touch it and it's well protected by armor - and dives.

Perseus hates water - and he has an uncanny fear of drowning. He feels pain - everywhere, horrible pain.

His vision now doesn't have Annabeth's face - the blonde is his link to the demigod world, Persephone is his link to the Underworld and his mom is his link to childhood - but the person who grounds him is Rachel.

He is stronger. He feel his powers at his fingertips - Perseus feels the Underworld as a whole, and it's overwhelming.

Green flames explode from his hands. Flowers made of shadows curve around his ankles - he has been training since he was 12, but now his body can sustain all of his power. This is all his.

He goes meet with his father - Perseus manipulates him. He tells Hades he'll be the hero, but the god himself can be praised for more than being his father. That he should join the battle against Typhon - That's his chance of proving himself. Also, there's less paperwork for him if there are fewer dead people.

His father is amused with his blatant bribing, but he thinks about it, Percy can tell. In a way or another, he excuses himself and goes back to the surface where he is needed.

Persephone stalls him. She asks him to stay, just for this night. He can go back in the morning - he sleeps, and dreams of Rachel again, drawing in the sand. In greek.

He is scared for her - she is having demigod dreams, but she is mortal. Something is wrong.

Typhon is getting worse - and Kronos draws closer to NYC. It's time - he calls for Blackjack and leaves - Mrs. O'Leary, who has become more or less of a mother to his own hellhound, follows. Persephone promises to convince Hades.

They have about sixty campers able to fight heading for the Empire State Building, and five healers. The ones too young to lift a sword or string a bow stayed back at Camp with Argus - fifteen children between 5 and 9 years old.

Percy knows he looks different - he looks just like his father. He has gained a godly aura - he has no scars anymore, no imperfections. Perseus looms over all of them - he went from 5'7'' to 6'2'' - it's a weird view, from up there. It's still strange when they look at him with a mix of fear and admiration.

Perseus Jackson is officially their leader. He hates Olympus - but he will give his life to defend every single one of his demigods.

The vision Hestia shows him just makes him want to tear this throne room with his bare hands - Luke was a kid. He was a kid - and the gods corrupted him. Thalia was a kid - and the gods took her life, twice. Annabeth is still a kid - they all are - and she is here planning battle strategies.

Annabeth missed an extra year of formal education - while Percy is a Junior, Annabeth barely qualifies for a Freshman - because the gods took this from her too.

Percy rages. The ground of Olympus trembles beneath him - he wants to kill something.

Then Hermes appears - like this whole war is not his fault in the first place, the literal bastard - just to relay a message from Athena that gives them a plan that Annabeth was already putting into works and tells Percy to stay away from Annabeth.

Like she cares. Like Athena has ever, ever, done anything for Annabeth.

Perseus can't punch Athena, so he punches the messager (also, because he freaking guilt trips both of them about Luke). He has nothing to lose - he is going to die by the end of the day anyway, and they need him too much.

He has punched a god before - Ares, in a desert in the middle of Los Angeles - but this time, it's satisfactory. He feels good after it.

Hermes seems strangely resigned - He feels guilty about Luke too, but Perseus doesn't think it's enough. It'll never be enough, not while the gods leave their children to rot in a cabin of rejects and May Castellan bakes cookies for a son that will never come back.

Hermes leaves, ashamed. It's only fair, Perseus thinks. They all should be ashamed.

They see the city asleep - the prophecy is in the works.

Perseus executes their strategy - every cabin is covering a tunnel, with the exception of Dionysus, because Pollux is with the Demeter kids, and the Hecate kids stay behind to use spells to overlook the city. Lincoln Tunnel is getting covered by Ares - who, this time around, is actively participating.

The undetermined who didn't desert are with Hermes - and the minor god's children are divided by specialty - most Hypnos and Morpheus children follow him directly, but the two sons of Iris go with the Apollo Cabin.

Annabeth executes Plan 23, automatons, mounting on Mrs. O'Leary (who has strict orders to take Annabeth anywhere she wants without stopping to play around) - she doesn't need his help with this, and Percy has a tunnel to defend.

That left the rivers uncovered - until Thalia appears, with magical sand money, and made the rivers cooperate.

The hunters join the Aphrodite kids - who are half a dozen children between 11 and 19 - the oldest being Silena Beauregard, who uses a crossbow that looks exactly like her immortal half-brother's one.

His bridge is completely covered on skeletons - but no monster comes, even if he hears explosions. He leaves an English Lieutenant from the Battle of Yorktown in command of the bridge - with Tyene, the oldest daughter of Morpheus, to be in alert and don't let Clovis sleep through the battle. Because he did it before - and while it is funny, it can't happen right now.

Perseus mounts Blackjack - and go see where the noise is coming from. It's the Williamsburg Bridge - where are most of Apollo's Cabin.

They fight - and Percy almost cries when he sees Luke, who is not Luke anymore. Luke, who is a puppet controlled by Kronos.

Perseus kills the Minotaur and the weight of his stone spikes collapse the bridge - and Michael Yew dies. This time around, the bridge falls silently into shadows, and he doesn't bother about searching for the corpse - he saw the boy falling, and his screams will haunt all of them, forever.

This time around, Annabeth is not there to protect him - Ethan also doesn't try to kill him. The Son of Nemesis doesn't leave Kronos side for a second - but there's regret in his eyes.

After the bloodlust is gone, Perseus collapses - Will has to bride carry him back. Overuse of his powers - he summoned skeletons and produced shadows, melted enemy swords (with the bonus of incapacitating them without killing), and sprouted stone spikes everywhere - there's even a vine or ten that he used to hold his friends from falling.

Perseus doesn't sleep quickly enough to not hear the yell of anguish that comes from Lee Fletcher - the pain of losing a brother and not being able to fight beside him.

But he does sleep - and he dreams. He dreams of Hades killing Maria Di Angelo, not Hera, like Zeus told Nico. He dreams of Zeus cursing the Oracle - and he seethes, because he also sees what happened to May Castellan.

He keeps getting angrier and angrier at the gods - it's building inside of him. But his friends are still here, still fragile. He can't let them suffer more.

Perseus wakes up, checks on everyone - most everyone is either injured and/or exhausted, but he checks on every camper. He knows all of their names, their ages, their cabins. - and promises to sit up to talk with Thalia and Nico - war makes him prone to peace - and promptly goes back to sleep.

He dreams of Rachel. He wants to scream for her not to come: but she'll anyway.

Perseus dreams of a boy. He is his age - maybe a little younger. His hair is blonde and his skin is whiter - but Percy glances at his eyes, and there are waves in them.

There's a girl by his side - she is familiar to Percy, somehow. They're climbing a mountain.

The dream ends and Percy can't make heads or tails of it. He asks Thalia if she has a brother, but she says that she doesn't, looking wistful.

Prometheus is tempting - but he knows there's no Luke anymore, there's only Kronos. And the gods are horrible, vile and immature - but they never killed any of Percy's friends. Some of them died for the gods - but never by their hands, so for now, Perseus would toe the line.

He does want to punch Hermes again. He takes the Pythos - if everything goes wrong, he will not hesitate in going down for the sake of his friends - but there have been six deaths, and it's enough.

"Was it worth it?" He asks Ethan.

"Alabaster is alive" And it's all the answer Percy needs.

He dreams of Ethan and Alabaster. Alabaster is alive, yes, but he is missing half a leg - courtesy of Clarisse herself. Luke - Kronos - is indifferent, and Ethan curses the daughter of Ares - "The sword that took from us will take from you"

He contains Hyperion with his shadows. Then he helps Grover (who was half asleep, because of Morpheus) to make the Titan into a tree. It's a pomegranate tree - then he sets hellish fire to it and sacrifices it to Hades and Persephone.

A pig is in the sky - this time around, Annabeth and her frightening army of automatons kill it with Nico's help.

Perseus laughs - because Annabeth has about two hundred automatons under her command, Martin Luther King and Alexander Hamilton leading the charge with a giant bull being ridden by the Mad Hatter behind them.

It's weird to see historic figures Percy admires - like Jane Bolin, Sylvia Mendez, or Abraham Lincoln - fighting alongside people he downright despises - Thomas Jefferson and the goatfucker, herpes-ridden, Colombus. His Comparative Government teacher would have a field day.

Annabeth and Nico's pair up is amazing - They fight alongside like they have been doing it all life.

Nico is a force of nature, flying and commanding the winds to do his bidding - His eyes shine in the midst of the stormy clouds. His specialty is weather manipulation - he hasn't had much success with direct energy or electric discharges.

Annabeth has her mother's tenacity for war - and her clever mind for strategies. It's clear in her eyes - she is racking the weaker points of the Clazmonian Sow in her mind and destroying it. The automatons hold the pig in place - and she makes bacon of it.

Hercules couldn't do it. Nico and Annabeth can, because they have the power and the mind.

Perseus is still fighting off monsters - but they're too widespread, so they retreat to the doors of the Empire State Building.

Percy does a mental tally: of sixty-two campers, six are confirmed dead, twenty are injured and nine are out of commission on exhaustion. There should be 27 orange shirts here - but there's only twenty.

Percy wonders if the seven missing are injured, or dead, or under a pile of rubble somewhere with no one to help them. Is there someone being slowly eaten by monsters? Is there someone alone and injured and abandoned? He doesn't know.

He prays that those seven deserted them - at least that means they probably are alive and well.

Perseus looks at Phoebe's grief-stricken face, and he knows it's not probable - she had almost three dozen hunters with her, and now there's barely fifteen still fighting, Thalia nowhere to be seen.

They prepare for their last standing - Percy keeps conjuring skeletons, but they're no match for the sheer strength of the hyperborean giants. Nico is shoulder to shoulder with the Stoll brothers against a group of telkhines - Clarisse is bringing down a whole giant by herself.

After the Party Ponies save them - Chiron leads the charge against his own father, and Perseus is so proud of his mentor he can't even put in words how much - he goes to sleep. Fighting gets him tired quickly, and they'll come back.

He dreams of Dionysus. Perseus is not fond of any god who is not Persephone, but Dionysus is mostly okay sometimes. He seems to care about his children.

Perseus couldn't care less about the Western Civilization - but he'll care for Pollux. It's one of his demigods, after all, and Underworld people are possessive of theirs (i.e. Hades and Persephone).

He dreams of Thalia, in her father's palace, begging Poseidon to leave the underwater war and help with the invasion - His wife is none too happy with the presence of his immortal bastard daughter.

He wakes up to Rachel's helicopter falling - how is Rachel even awake, is a mistery.

The improbable pair Nico and Annabeth strike again: The girl knows how to fly helicopters, and the boy can fly himself. They save the redhead and the pilot - everything is fine.

"You're not the hero"

"Why did you risk yourself to tell me something I already know?"

Rachel doesn't explain - she can't. But she has a vision that says that he is not the hero. The hero of what? Perseus has no idea. But there's no way any of his cousins is dying for this stupid prophecy.

Suddenly, there's a drakon there. Rachel has another prophecy - Perseus fears she will walk the path that led May Castellan to destruction - that only a child of Ares will be able to kill it.

Bad news: All children of Ares are otherwise out of battle.

Clarisse is resting after a nasty concussion - and her brothers and Apollo's children are fighting yet again because Lee Fletcher is in no condition to stop them and Michael Yew is dead. Ares' side refuses to fight without the chariot - which Cabin 7 has hidden somewhere.

The best they can do is fend the drakon off until a miracle occurs. And it does: Clarisse, in full armor, manages to lead her brothers into battle.

Clarisse is dead. Something shatters inside of Perseus - and he leaves the drakon for the Ares' children to solve - he can't kill it anyway - and starts to vaporize the army behind it.

He is so caught up in bloodlust, that he almost misses Clarisse slaying a dragon. Clarisse, who has no armor. Clarisse, who is alive.

Ethan's curse rang true - Clarisse's weapon took something from her.

Silena is a traitor. She is also dead - which makes her a martyr, and probably going to reunite with her boyfriend in Elysium.

He remembers how easy is to fall for Luke's charm - he was - is - still in love with the guy. Percy thought the son of Hermes could do no wrong - and he wonders how much of his rage against the gods sprout from his influence.

Something evil inside of Perseus's mind tells him she deserved it. It tells Perseus that better her than Clarisse - but he shuts it down, and concentrates on his shining red friends.

He hates Ares. But he might just have an okay side if he can produce such a magnificent daughter.

Silena is the Patroclus to Clarisse's Achilles, and the Drakon is Hector - and the daughter of Ares is sure to parade its dead body.

It's the first time they feel like they are winning. It doesn't last - but as he hugs Clarisse tightly, he thinks he might cry of relief.

Clarisse looks tough - but she is a wonderful human being. She loves Silena with her whole heart - even more than she loves Chris, her best friend. Silena might've been in love with Charles - but she and Clarisse? They are soulmates.

The damned Pythos is following Perseus - and he is done with it. He knows where hope will survive best. Rachel wants him to give it to Hestia - but he owns the fire goddess nothing.

She has never interfered, not once, to help the dozens of demigods with no family that is abandoned in Cabin 11, and he won't forgive her for it.

He sacrifices hope to Persephone because that's what spring is. Spring is the hope of a new life. Maybe, Perseus thinks, it'll convince his father to come.

They go down to make their final stand against the forces of Kronos. There's not a lot of them - but they're not getting through those doors.

Well, his father doesn't come. But Poseidon does, with his whole army, Tyson and Thalia behind him, and the scales seem to turn.

And then Kronos cuts the barrier. Perseus can see his Mom (why is his Mom here with a handgun?!) and Poseidon fighting against the monsters under the eyes of extremely confused mortals.

Some are trying to break the barrier - but it's futile. Kronos has corraled them like sheep for the slaughter.

It's just him, Grover, Annabeth and Nico, fighting against Kronos vanguard - which is big, but not as strong as they are.

Kronos passes him without resistance - Ethan follows, but there's anger in his eyes - not for Percy, but for the monster he is leashed to. Alabaster is not there.

As soon as Kronos powers stop working on them, the four follow the titan - and some things never change, no matter the universe.

This time, it's Nico who falls because of Hera - it's her curse over all of her husband's bastards.

Ethan takes one look at Perseus, and they don't even need to fight. They have been friends for longer than they have been enemies - and they both loathe the gods, but Kronos is as much of an all-powerful controller being as any of the Olympians.

They battle against Kronos - Perseus has only his ax against his scyther - a true Underworld fight.

Ethan dies. And Perseus bloodlust consumes him - it clouds his eyes and he can only keep fighting.

"If... if we've had cabins... and they had thrones"

It's true, and more than ever, Perseus wishes Kronos wasn't such a bastard. He wouldn't bother killing the gods - but the titan is a way worse option.

"LUKE, PLEASE" It's Annabeth. He doesn't have her faith - she didn't saw his transformation. But he tries anyway because he loves Luke just as much as he hates Kronos.

"Luke, remember our summer" But his words are caught up in his throat when the titan throws him against the wall.

But the amalgamation of his friend and an all-powerful being looks confused, so props for his genius best friend.

Kronos shows them a rainbow message of Typhon - and that's where Perseus it's pretty sure he starts liking his father.

Because the Lord of the Dead opens up the earth and gets out in a black chariot guided by skeletal horses like a king. By his right side, is Persephone, in armor battle as a queen should be. By his left, is Demeter, who looks every single bit like the matron she is supposed to be.

Behind him, a hundred thousand dead roars. Charon is mounting Cerberus - and literal hell is unleashed upon the Father of Monsters.

The gods strike down Typhon, sending him back to be locked away - this time, in the depths of Tartarus instead of Mount Etna.

Kronos gets mad. Utterly, undoubtedly mad. He talks about burning Luke's body. Then he hurts Annabeth and breaks two promises in one fell swoop.

"Luke.... remember family" It's what Annabeth utters, but Perseus, already certain of their own demise, is crying now.

"That summer Luke, you promised to never hurt her again. You remember it? YOU PROMISED LUKE!!"

Annabeth's promise was already broken - he had hurt her, all those years ago, in Mt. Othrys. But the promise he made to Percy - that he would never hurt her again - is new and broken, in the river Styx no less.

Luke regains his own body, for a minute, and Perseus runs to him like a man in a desert with no water.

"Please, please tell me there's a way to undo this, Luke, please, please"

"There isn't one, Percy" And it's the first time he hears Luke call him Percy, Percy and not Perseus, in his own voice, in two years. Percy cries.

"We... we don't have much time, hellebore. Give me Annabeth's dagger. Before he... before he takes back"

Luke calls him hellebore and it makes him start crying all over again. He gives him the dagger - and Luke kills himself, taking Kronos out with him.

Luke doesn't need to ask if Percy has ever loved him - Percy kept loving Luke, one-sided as it was, even when Kronos was there.

He still crying over Luke's body when the gods arrive. Luke is dead. Ethan is dead. Silena is dead. Michael Yew is dead. Charles is dead.

He lost three of his best friends in two days. Ethan is dead. Luke is dead. Luke is dead.

Perseus can't stop crying. They take Luke's body away - but he can't stop. Annabeth explains what happened to the gods - most of it, anyway. Apollo says he is in shock - his father says he is a hero.

Perseus doesn't feel like a hero. Was this all worth it? Was it worth it the pain and the death and the suffering?

Persephone touches him - and he has no tears to cry anymore. She can't hug him here, but she'll do so later.

He stares at the walls, listening to his friends being awarded - compensated by their siblings and friends' deaths - with a blank stare. Perseus wants his mom.

They call for him. He raised his head but doesn't bother getting up. He just saved their asses - for the fifth time in a roll. He deserves to grieve.

They offer him immortality. A place between the gods.

He laughs. Zeus looks murderous, but he can't stop laughing.

"My apologies, but I have to refuse," he says. But in his mind, he is thinking about how could they even think he might want to sit between them and be an all-powerful being, be another god ignoring his children and messing with mortal lives while thousands die for him.

"Promise me, on the river Styx, that you'll give me the wish that I want."

They promise him, that if it's within their capabilities, they shall grant him his wish.

"I wish for every child at the age of twelve to be claimed. I wish for cabins in Camp Half-Blood, for every single minor god, and my own father. I wish for Calypso to be free, and to the demigods from the opposite side of this war to be given amnesty. It's not their fault. It's not any of our faults."

"You dare to-" Zeus begins, but Percy is really tired of Zeus.

"We fought your war, we won your battles. We, the unclaimed and rejected stowaways of Cabin 11. We, the children of minor and Underworld gods. We deserve respect. Just like my father deserves a throne, just like the minor gods deserve justice."

"Don't you fear us?" Athena asks, something weird shining in her eyes.

"I thought I would be dead today. At least if I die now, I'm dying for something I believe in."

It stays unsaid that he doesn't believe in them. The other demigods look at him worried - but he is not afraid of the gods.

They grant his wish. Some of them aren't happy with it, but they have to do it. He meets Calypso at the front gates of Olympus - and her smile can brighten the pits of Tartarus. He sees Alabaster talking with Lou Ellen - they are both crying.

He thinks it's the end - it's not. Thalia tells him Rachel left for Camp in her Pegasus - and his father has lift the curse, the Prophecy is gone, but he fears for his best friend.

Perseus is too tired for shadow travel - he does it anyway. He flickers, but anyway, he is too late.

It works. Rachel - his best friend - is the new Oracle. Someone jokes they can't be together anymore and Rachel lifts an eyebrow.

"We never were. Didn't you see the last few hours?" Well, he did out himself. Mostly - they might say it's just friendship, and he will hate the way they twist it. Luke wasn't a villain, and Perseus isn't a pure hero with a heart of gold.

Perseus is healing from lost love - and Annabeth is too. His crush on her was only a crush, he thinks - She is his best friend first and foremost. They cry together at the bonfire that burns away the shrouds of 43 demigods - from both sides - and 16 hunters of Artemis. Their souls all rest in Elysium now.

Alabaster comes back to Camp and helps his siblings to build the new Cabin for Hecate, full of spelled blocks and magic chimneys. Clovis and Tyene have their hands full with their own cabins - it doesn't help they keep getting sidetracked with naps.

Somehow, Nico, Thalia, and his bond over helping construct Cabin 13 - They are both way too invested in the goth vibe, mostly because Cabin 1 looks like a temple, and Cabin 3 looks like a beach cabin. And both of them are so over it.

Perseus doesn't want a goth cabin - he is fighting against the aesthetic for years - but sometimes, there are no arguments. His Cabin is made of black marble, and there are skulls everywhere, with torches shining with green fire. Outside, at least. Inside, it looks like Persephone's garden, with input from the queen herself. It's ready just shy of the end of summer vacation.

Rachel tells the next Great Prophecy. Perseus isn't such a positive person to think it won't affect him - he hopes at least it'll wait until he is done with High School.

That night, he dreams of the blonde boy again - it's his first night without nightmares since the battle. He has a scar in his lip, and his green eyes pierce Percy's soul. Perseus wonders if they'll ever meet, wonders if this boy is one of the Seven of the Prophecy.

But alas, Perseus lets it go. The summer is over - he is sixteen, somehow. He is alive and going to go back to his mortal life and his junior year, and grief. Not everything is fine - but eventually, it will be.

It's not the end. Not yet.

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atinydise · 4 years

Text

Love yourself, please

❦ Genre: Fluff/Angst.

❦ Pairing: Yunho.

❦ Word count: 4k7.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

❦ Masterlist.

❦ Warning : ⚠️A light mention of ‘psychologic abuse’ (idk if that makes sense). Don’t read it if you don’t feel comfortable enough.

“I can’t with her anymore,” you growled of frustration, throwing your phone harshly on the couch. “What’s going on kitten?” Yunho looked at you. He seemed a bit worried. Plus, the vein on your forehead never predict a good thing. “My mom called me.” You replied. Only with this simple information he would understand the situation. Your relationship with your mom wasn’t good. Even disastrous. Since your childhood, she was always made you feel miserable. It’s her fault, yes, now you can claim it: it’s her fault if you grew up with so many insecurities and complexes. She made you hate your weight, your height, your personality and your self-esteem. You’ve worked hard through these years just to feel loved or happy. The day you’ve moved out of the house where you grew up, it felt like a deliverance. You wouldn’t need to hear your mom saying horrible things to you the entire day. Or that’s what you thought. You didn’t even put a foot in your new apartment that your mom called you. Just to say how disappointed she was. You’ve felt your family because of “your arrogant and selfish” personality. That’s her words. Even 2 hours away from her, she made you feel so bad and pathetic.

The heaven probably heard all your prayers and late-night sobs, because one week later, you met Yunho. At first, you thought that someone was playing with you and your feelings, a.k.a, your mom. That’s to say how mean and evil she is. Fortunately, you took sometimes to learn and hang out with Yunho and you didn’t regret it at all. It been 1 year and a half that you were dating, and every day felt like being on a cloud 9. Yunho had everything you’ve looked for, or even more. He was nice, funny, always in a good mood or so careful with you. Also he was always trying to help you about your mother’s issue. The first time you mentioned the living hell your mother made you feel until now, he was so shocked. For him, family is something which needs to be cherished. So, as a good son, invited you a weekend at his countryside home. You’ve never felt this kind of warmness before. The same night you couldn’t help but to cry and say how lucky he was.

“What did she say?” He asked you, mentally being ready to hear atrocities. You sat down on the couch; your knees close to your chest. “At first, she was nice. That was surprising and pretty cool.” You started, rubbing your palms nervously on your knees. “Really? That’s good babe!” “Yes… Until I told her that maybe I couldn’t come for my aunt’s birthday.” You sighed, resting your chin on your hands. Your boyfriend was staring at you, ignoring what he could say right now. “She started to yell at me, telling me how selfish I am again...” you paused, suppressing the sob forming in your throat. “She told me that I’m forgetting my family. That I just needed my dad’s money so I could leave them heartlessly.” “Babe...” whispered Yunho, patting your back. “I’m used to her saying these kinds of thing.” You declared. “But before hanging up, she said t-” you stopped to take a deep breath. You were staring intensely at the floor, biting your lip. Hot tears were forming in your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry. Not again. “She said that she should have thrown me to the side of the road earlier.” Saying this out loud made you realize how hurt you were. You glanced at your boyfriend at your right. He was speechless. “Crazy? Isn’t it?” Your voice cracked and the fake smile you tried to show, faded away. “She said that to her own daughter, that she should’ve throw-” These words were to strong and terrible for you to say one more time. You buried your face on your arms. Yunho guessed that you were crying. Your body was shaking because of the sobs. “Y/N.” He brought you closer to him. “Don’t cry okay?” You sneaked your arms around his waist, face buried in the crock of his neck. “What she said is truly terrible... even horrific.” He started. “I don’t know how you feel right now. I don’t know how I can help you neither.” His heart ached when he felt your hands shaking behind his back. “But I can help you. I’ll make this less painful for you.” He kissed the top of your head. “How can she say something like that?” You whispered. Your whole body was shaking because of the sobs. “I don’t know... I think she’s regretting what she said. But you clearly need to break contact with her.” He suggested. You lifted your head up, wiping your tears with your hoodie. “Even if I want to, I can’t do that. This is my mom.” “But you can’t keep crying and feel so bad all the time.” “Yunho...” “I know it’s crazy. But at least try for a week. To make her understand that you are more than done.” Yunho cupped your cheeks in his large hands, rubbing it softly. “I’m sure you will get happier.” “It’s crazy...” “I want my baby to be the happiest. And of course, I want you to know how amazing you are.” “I doubt that.” “You. Are. Amazing.” He repeated slowly. It’s like you couldn’t keep off his eyes from his. He had this ability to be hypnotic without even trying. “Just say it.” “I can’t do that.” “Say it. Please.” He was almost begging you. “You’ve been insecure for too long. I want you to love yourself.” Yunho gave you the soft smile that only him could do. It always felt like a stress reliever. “Almost as more than I do.” You chuckled a bit as his comment, “okay. But just because it’s you…” “I guess it’s a good start.” He smiled so widely that it instantly erased most of your sadness. “Let’s go babe!” You took a deep breath. It could be weird for other people. Who would take so long just to pronounce 3 basic words? But when you hated yourself for almost your entire life, it asks a big effort. “I-” your boyfriend held your hands, to give you enough strength and made you feel loved. “I am amazing.” You finally said.

Thanks to Yunho, your healing process has started. It was a whole new life departure.

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regolithheart · 4 years

Note

what do you think about the Nesta/Cassian/Mor conflict? also looking forward to your fics!!

Hi beautiful, sweet, innocent, Nonnie!!

Thank you for writing to me. Like I said, I could talk about Nessian all day and I am full. of. #thoughts. I could give you a short sweet answer, but it’s week six of quarantine, I had a brownie for dinner, and I don’t know what day it is. In the end, you’ll probably regret asking me, but lets just jump into it, shall we?

Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Rhys, Mor, or Feyre. So if you don’t want to hear what I have to say in regards to them, thanks for stopping by. No need to read further.

I’ve never loved Feyre, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I just don’t like main characters in a series. Would I have preferred to read Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban? You bet your ass. I also don’t like Rhys for the same reason, but also I dislike Rhys more than Feyre and for additional reasons which we will get to later.

I hate that I dislike Mor, because I loved her so much in ACoMaF and for a hot minute I shipped Mor and Azriel because I am a sucker for the unrequited love trope. A real sucker. And maybe, maybe I could have overlooked the retconning of her being a lesbian (yes, it was a retcon. Fight me.), if it weren’t for the fact that it makes her look really really bad and makes her treatment of Azriel even worse. I get it. I do. Her working through being okay with telling the others any of her business is part of her personal journey, but being honest to someone you claim to love about not being able to love them the way they hope to be is different than telling them you can’t be in a relationship because you prefer the opposite sex. Listen, I obviously have thoughts about this, but that’s not what the question was about so I’ll move on.

Mor and Cassian’s relationship is a dangerous one. They both use each other as a crutch. From day one, Mor was using Cassian. Now, I don’t think she was doing it maliciously, but he appealed to her because he was already one of the most powerful Illyrians and a bastard to boot. Why do you think Mor chose Cassian and not Azriel? Sure, she wanted to own her own body. She wanted to decide who she gets to sleep with, but she decided she wanted to sleep with someone before going to the Autumn Court to stick it to Keir and the establishment. And what better way to stick it to them than to choose an Illyrian bastard. Because being the illegitimate son of an Illyrian lord is still ranked higher than being someone with no father and a dead mother. Mor knew exactly what she was doing when she chose Cassian. She is Rhys’ third-in-command for a reason. She aint no dumdum.

And for 500 years it was all good, right? Mor didn’t care who Cassian hooked up with because she knew they were no threat. But as soon as someone comes along that Cassian has feelings for, like true, legit, feelings, she cannot handle it. Because if she loses Cassian as a buffer then she really will have to be honest with Azriel (the horror). And so what does she do? She gets possessive. She outright hates Nesta and does not hold her feelings or tongue back. Now, some people are going to say that Nesta is the worst. She was horrible to Feyre growing up, she’s rude, she’s belligerent, and she can be a straight up bitch. Yeah. No argument there. We’ve all read the books. We have see the evidence throughout the whole entire series. But so is Rhys, so is Mor, so is Feyre, and Cassian and Amren. The only difference, is that a) they all have each other’s backs while no one has Nesta’s and b) we get to see everyone’s reasons and everyone’s POV except for Nesta’s. Feyre is an unreliable narrator, which is why I’m looking forward to seeing Cassian and Nesta away from Feyre in book 4 because I don’t trust her to tell me what’s going on for realsies.

Honestly, the scene that made me straight up get so pissed at Mor was in ACoFaS when Nesta shows up to the Solstice party and Elain gives Nesta her present. All of Cassian’s attention is pointed to Nesta and what does Mor do? She forces Cassian to pay attention to her by choosing that exact moment to give him his Solstice present. Not any other time before or after when Cassian barely even glances Nesta’s way, but during the what, five seconds, he’s looking at her? PLEASE! It’s so passive aggressive and I hate it. I hate it!

I think the thing that bothers me the most abut Cassian and Mor’s relationship is that it really is just a miniature version of Cassian’s relationship with the Inner Circle in regards to Nesta. But really, when I say Inner Circle, I mean Rhys. I hate how Rhys treats Nesta, thinks of Nesta, and dismisses Nesta. Does he have his reasons? Sure. Are they valid reasons? He sure thinks they are, but like I said before, he’s no angel and we got to hear his full story so until we get Nesta’s full story then I don’t need my inbox blowing up. And honestly, if it turns out that Nesta really is as bad as everyone thinks she is, that’s still not going to change my opinion of her. I mean, why have you even read this far if you don’t like Nesta? Has anyone read this far, period?

What I mean to say is that Cassian loves his family. He loves Nesta. The problem is that his family and Nesta don’t love each other and he will always feel torn apart over it. Cassian knows that Rhys hates Nesta. He can barely acknowledge her existence in front of Rhys and Azriel because they barely do. Yeah, his feelings are complicated right now. He’s hurt, and angry, and confused, and still loves her and can’t work out his feelings because he doesn’t have a safe place to do so. If there’s anyone he should feel comfortable going to to work out these feelings with, it’s Rhys, Az, and Mor but he can’t because he knows exactly how they feel about her, which is that they tolerate her at best. And even then, do they?

I don’t want Cassian to feel like he has to choose between Nesta or his family, but as the situation stands, he probably does feel like that. I mean, who knows. Maybe he’s already chosen his family over Nesta. It’s not like she’s making an argument on her own behalf. But we know Cassian loves Nesta. Even if he’s annoyed with her, or mad, or frustrated with her, we know that he honest-to-the-Mother loves her. But until everyone can heal, and understand one another, and accept each other, it’s a lose-lose situation all around. Notice how I didn’t say love, or even like.

Do I feel sorry for Cassian? Yes. Do I think he’s entirely faultless? Nope. Yes, he’s in a shitty situation, but honestly if he had a real conversation with Mor (and the Inner Circle) about his feelings about/for Nesta and confront her about her treatment of Nesta, he’d get different results. Do I think he’s terrified of having an actual, honest conversation? You betcha.

And yeah, we all know that Nesta isn’t making the situation any easier. But she’s hurt and suffering more than any of us really know. Do I think she's entirely blameless? Absolutely not. But I do feel that Rhys and Mor are extra judgmental of her because they already have their preconceived notions of her and anything she’s done contrary to that is ignored while everything she does that reiterates it is magnified. But here I am getting derailed again.

Nesta feels unloved. We can argue whether or not it is deserved another time, but the fact is that she feels unloved. Probably has always felt unloved. So every time Cassian choses to look at Mor instead of Nesta, it’s confirmation to her that she will never be anyone’s first choice. Look, the only man who said he loved her turned out to be abusive and assaulted her. And then when her father declares that he loves her, he gets murdered right in front of her eyes. Elain is the only other person Nesta knows loves her, and now she’s chosen Feyre and the Inner Circle over her (at least she has in Nesta’s eyes). You see where I’m going with this, right?

Except for the few dire times during the war--like when they’re legit in battle for their lives and emotions are running high--does Cassian let himself show Nesta that he cares for her. The only other times is when they’re by themselves. We know it’s because Cassian hides behind his bravado. But to Nesta, who probably has the worst opinion of herself, it probably means he’s ashamed to show it. Or he’s uncertain. I know we don’t have proof of this in the text, but I like to think I understand Nesta on a deep level, I can just imagine that’s how she’s feeling. Nesta pushes people away so that she doesn’t get disappointed when they decide to leave on their own accord. Nesta fought for Feyre, she fought for Elain, and she fought for Cassian. And in ACoFaS they all essentially turned their backs on her. And you wonder why she has so much rage in her frozen heart.

TL;DR (not that I blame you): It’s complicated and it’s messy and everyone involved has contributed to it’s tangled mess of jealousy, insecurity, selfishness... but I also place more responsibility on the two 500-year-olds than I do on the 23-year-old.

I’m really interested to see how it plays out in the next book(s), but I will tell you right now, I am on team Nesta Archeron and will be until my dying breath.

Also, if you made it to the end...

#anon ask #acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian archeron #nessian #morrigan #listen don't blow up my inbox #because I have opinions #thoughts #long ass post #seriously come talk to me

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ladypeck · 3 years

Text

SOME ROYAL ROMANCE THINKY THOUGHTS

One way to tell if I love a story, is by how righteous I complain about the shit people in the story get up to. For me, this meta is high praise because the story made me feel. So my complaints are, without a doubt, my compliments. My butthurt is my mark of approval LOL Why else would I even bother to write this up if I don’t absolutely fucking LOVE it? And you should know I despise Kiara, so forewarning. I love to hate her.

Adelaide and others spoke of Constantine being a tyrant. And he was. But can you blame him?

Godfrey and Barthelemy teamed up to murder the queen in order to more easily manipulate Constantine, hoping to rule through him. Their plan backfired, however, because her death only hardened him, and made him the exact opposite of what they wanted. Rather than someone easy to manipulate he became hardened and cruel.

The Nevrakis’s were part of a coup to seize the throne, with Barthelemy. Everybody wants to take power, which made everybody around him a potential threat.

Barthelemy wasted his life, and the Beaumont fortune trying to seize power. This is proof he’d make a shit leader. He couldn’t even manage his own family’s money, abandoned his sons, all in the single-minded focus of getting what he wanted for himself. That kind of a selfish person can’t make for a good leader for a people. He couldn’t manage to be a good “leader” for his own family. How’s he supposed to rule Cordonia?

Godfrey’s wife, Adelaide, was perfectly willing to sell her vote to the highest bidder, knowing that her vote could lead to taking a child away from her parents. She was willing to destroy a family if it meant staying rich and kept in exclusive social circles. This is coming from a woman who has a daughter she supposedly loves. How she could be willing to do that to another woman is sickening and proves she doesn’t understand loyalty in any sense of the word and therefore can’t be trusted. Today it’s Barthelemy. Tomorrow, it’s whoever offers her what she wants.

Kiara...I have a LOT to say about this bitch. She willingly decided to vote to have MC’s family ripped apart, and King Liam’s throne taken from him, despite them having been friends with her. Her excuse? She saw the king, and MC (regardless of who she married) as reactionary to the power grabs, rather than preventing them. Reactionary is all you can be, so the stupidity in this astounds me. What is she, 12 that she can’t understand that?

Kiara’s betrayal is honestly the worst, but not surprising. She always acted superior to MC. Remember she ushered Penelope away in Book 2, talking about how MC was beneath them, like that kind of talk is supposed to be forgiven/Forgotten? She’s always seen MC (you) as less than her, yet she claims friendship? Ok.

She was supposed to be MC’s friend, but she was willing to tear a child away from her mother because she thinks good leaders stop their enemies beforehand. Since when, Kiara? That’s literally impossible, you fucking simpleton. Liam would have to be omnipotent to prevent every power grab. She’s too stupid to see that no matter who came up against Liam/MC, they always failed, because MC and friends are intelligent people who know how to deal with threats. Also, they’re kind, generous people who want the best for their country. She immediately sided with a man she didn’t even fucking know to rip MC’s family apart. She was only willing to reverse her vote, talking her “I still see you as a friend” bullshit, after she got something from MC. MC had to, like with Adelaide, buy Kiara’s vote with a favor by salvaging the flower festival and the car show. Kiara’s been there to personally witness all of MC and Liam’s triumphs, so why the fuck MC still gotta prove herself to Kiara for her to do the right thing?

I know PB ain’t gonna go this deep, but Kiara reeks of treachery. She can’t be trusted. It makes more sense that she turned on MC/Liam if Barthelemy promised her power, but she chickened out, and Barthelemy kept his mouth shut for leverage over her later. But, seriously, they ain’t gonna go there. And this is why I know TRR series has sooooo much potential to keep going, but fans don’t appreciate how good this story is. Why? Because they’re too butthurt they can’t date Olivia, or Madeline *hard eyeroll*.

Going forward, Liam should banish Kiara from court. She’s not loyal. She’s not their friend. Friends don’t vote to tear children from their parents’ arms. Do you have a friend with a child, and that friend is a good parent (not someone who is a danger to their child)? Could you imagine a circumstance in which you’d do anything that would endanger their rights as parents, to possibly lose custody of their child? No? Then what’s Kiara’s excuse for this betrayal? “But Barthelemy promised the baby would stay with MC!” So👏🏼Fucking👏🏼What? One, why would she trust someone making a blatant power grab against people who are allegedly your friends? Someone she doesn’t even know? And how would she feel if she was labeled a temporary guardian to her own child before they were taken from her? The depth of my hatred for this character can’t be measured and I really wish I could decide to never forgive her, and banish her from court for life, but PB will force forgiveness on us. That’s why this game isn’t really choices. If Kiara had concerns about their ability to rule, why didn’t she take those concerns to them rather than aligning herself with Barthelemy to bring ruin to MC’s family and take the throne from Liam, a man she’d once competed to marry, to be his queen?

Considering that the court is packed with greedy traitors, it’s no wonder Constantine became so bitter, jaded, and cruel. He had to be to survive people like this. I’d love to see Liam go on a dark descent like his father but not succumb.

In conclusion, Adelaide and Kiara were as much a traitor as that sad sack Cedric. They should’ve been dragged off and jailed. Everyone who voted against MC would at least be permanently shunned from court and Cordonian society if the choice was mine. Because if they’d side with Barthelemy, they’ll stab you in the back with the next world-be usurper.

#The Royal Heir Book 3 #The Royal Heir #anti Kiara Theron

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theladyofdeath · 4 years

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The Cadre {19}

A Throne of Glass, 1920s Period AU.

Summary: Orynth became Aelin Galathynius’s kingdom the moment the Prohibition began. She sang every night, the voice of the city’s underground world, her cousin selling the liquor that was banned by the authorities. She was living the dream, young and free, until the Cadre, until Rowan Whitethorn, came into her life.

Since Rowan Whitethorn returned from war, everything had changed. His aunt wants to take his crown, old enemies have returned as business partners, and he can’t sleep without feeling as if he’ll be suffocated by the memories of war. Little did he know that when he came back home he would be leaving one battlefield and entering another.

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

A/N: The one before the finale....and the finale is a long one.

After chapter 20, I’ll be starting In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2} If I’ve tagged you in this, I’ll tag you in that, too! x

Links:

The Cadre Masterlist

Full Fanfic Masterlist

My Askbox

Days had passed before Gavriel found the nerve to approach Aedion’s office. The next day, they would have to come together to face Arobynn’s men, so it was now or never. After a hesitant knock, Gavriel pushed opened the door.

It was humorous, really, how nervous he was to meet with his own child. Gavriel had met with Aedion on a handful of occasions, and yet, this was the most nervous he’d ever been encountering another human being.

Aedion was surprised when he entered, setting down the report he’d been reading.

“Gavriel,” he said, in way of greeting.

“Aedion,” Gavriel nodded.

“Sit, please,” he said, quietly.

Gavriel nodded, sitting in the seat across from Aedion’s desk.

“I assume you got my letter,” Aedion said.

Clearing his throat, Gavriel nodded. “Yes, Lysandra got it to me. I, um, I’m sorry it’s taken me a few days to come here…”

“I’ve waited nineteen years,” Aedion said, leaning back in his chair. “A few more days didn’t kill me.”

It was guilt that settled in the pit of Gavriel’s stomach, but he deserved it. “Right. Well...Look, Aedion….”

“Did you know?” Aedion asked, when it was clear Gavriel was at a loss for words. “Did you know that you were my father?”

Gavriel hesitated, but then he answered, honestly, “Yes.”

Aedion nodded, jaw locking, disappointed.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to be a part of your life, Aedion,” Gavriel went on, desperately. “But, I was a part of the Cadre already then, and your mother was an Ashryver. There was bad blood between our groups, and after your mother passed, and you were placed in Rhoe and Evalin’s care...well, they didn’t know, you see, who I was. Your mother had lied to protect me, claiming that your father was some random, low-life man who wanted nothing to do with you. It was easier that way, she claimed, and your mother was a stubborn woman. Especially when it came to you.”

Aedion nodded, thoughtfully. “I see.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to approach you,” Gavriel breathed. “I have wanted so desperately to know you, but I eventually reached the conclusion that it was nothing more than a dream. We were so young when Saoirse got pregnant, we weren’t sure at all what to do. Especially me. By the time your mom told me to stay away….It was selfish, Aedion, but it was easier. Then, after she died, I knew you were in good hands, and I didn’t want to disrupt the peace.”

Aedion’s eyes fell. “I see,” he repeated, then he asked, “Did you love her, though? She certainly seemed to love you.”

“Very much,” Gavriel breathed. “Your mother...was an incredible woman. Kind, smart, sarcastic…” Gavriel chuckled as his words faded away. “She loved me, and I had no idea why, but she did. When I found out she was pregnant, I was ecstatic. Then, when I found out she passed…” He shook his head, slowly. “I had a lot of regret. Words left unsaid, time spent apart. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to be a part of your childhood.”

Aedion was silent for a long moment.

His turquoise, gold-rimmed eyes, that reminded Gavriel so painfully of his late love, were full of distress, confusion. But then he asked, “Could you tell me more about her? My mom?”

Gavriel let loose a long, slow breath. “Of course, anything you want to know.”

Aedion nodded, but said nothing more.

Gavriel supposed there wasn’t a lot to say. He’d never been in a situation where he wanted to say so much but also so little at the exact same time. It was complicated, to say the least.

“Perhaps we can meet at the pub one night, then,” Aedion went on. “And you can tell me stories about her. About your time together.”

Gavriel was nodding before he was even done, “Of course. I’d like that.”

“Good,” he said. “Tomorrow night? After the shit with Arobynn, of course.”

“Of course,” Gavriel said. “I’ll be there.”

“Okay,” Aedion said.

“Okay,” Gavriel said, unable to stop his smile. Then he was standing, and saying goodbye. When he walked out, and the door shut behind him, he fell back against the wall, covering his face with his hands.

Aedion.

His son.

His son that looked just like Saoirse.

He was ready to know, to learn, to hear, to listen.

And Gavriel wanted so badly to prove himself.

Tomorrow, after their fucked up shit with Arobynn was done, Gavriel would tell him everything. They’d sit together, and Gavriel would reminisce, and Aedion would learn about his parents, about how he came to be.

And it was the thought that unraveled him.

But Gavriel quickly dried his eyes, adjusted his hat, and swept out on the streets of Orynth, hands shoved into his pockets.

~~~~~

Elide looked in the mirror, nude, running her hands over her abdomen, even though nothing had happened to it yet. Even so, she felt the change. She knew there was a life growing inside of her, but the moment it was confirmed by her doctor in the city, her entire outlook changed.

It was half her, half Lorcan, a little, innocent infant, growing inside of her. In eight months or so, she would be giving birth to a little girl or boy, one that hopefully looked like their father but had their mother’s temper.

Their father’s temper was a little much.

A baby.

Elide couldn’t get over it.

She was going to have a baby.

Lorcan’s baby.

“You look like a hell of a conversation is going on inside of your mind,” Lorcan muttered from where he laid in her bed.

Elide rolled her eyes. “Just thinking about how I’m going to be looking like a whale in no time.”

Lorcan had been supportive the past few days. Even after their fight days before, things were going better than ever.

“A beautiful whale,” Lorcan muttered, eyes falling shut. It was growing late, and the time was ticking by. Before they knew it, it would be tomorrow, and tomorrow was a big day.

“Are you ready?” Elide asked, as the thought ran through her mind. “For tomorrow.”

“It’s not the first gang war I’ve ever been in,” Lorcan mumbled, eyes still shut. And Elide heard his unanswered comment, It probably won’t be the last.

“I’ll be here, waiting,” she said, calmly, still looking in the mirror, if only to avoid him. Not because she wanted to, because the anxiety of what the next day would bring was too much. “When it’s finished.”

Lorcan said nothing, and when she turned around, he was still laying on her bed, his arms behind his head, his eyes closed.

“Is this what it will be like?” Elide asked. “Being with you? Having you as a husband? A father to my child? Constantly in fear that you’ll be shot and killed?”

“I’ve been shot multiple times,” Lorcan muttered, eyes still shut. “Never killed.”

“You’re not invincible,” Elide mumbled.

“No,” Lorcan agreed. “I’m not.”

There was no point in arguing, no point in fighting, no point in bringing up the pain that tomorrow might bring, because it wouldn’t do any good. This was who Lorcan was, this was his life, this was the way it would be. This is how he would support Elide and their child, by living this life, by doing business with Rowan Whitethorn.

Being against it wouldn’t do her, or their baby, any good.

“You worry too much,” he continued, at last. “I’ll be fine. I’ve always been fine.”

“You better be fine,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I still have to give you my answer.”

He’d asked her to marry him, and she claimed she would let him know once he returned from the standoff with Arobynn. She thought that was fair enough. If he returned, she would tell him yes, and if he didn’t, no harm done.

The thought left Elide’s heart aching.

“You don’t ever get scared, do you?” Elide asked.

Lorcan shrugged. “I would if I didn’t know what I was doing, but we have a plan. We know what we’re doing. Rowan is a good leader. We’ll prevail.”

Elide nodded, slipping her hand into his. “Well, I’m scared.”

The light in Lorcan’s eyes softened as he squeezed her hand, meeting her gaze. “I’m not going to get hurt,” he whispered. “I promise. I’m coming to find you, the moment it’s done, and you’re going to tell me that you’re going to marry me, and it all will be okay, alright?”

Elide huffed a laugh as she nodded, although there was still a knot in her stomach. She laid her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes, although there would be no sleeping for her tonight.

~~~~~

“Are you ready?”

“For what? To take down Arobynn?”

“Obviously.”

“I have no choice but to be ready.”

Rowan and Aelin laid awake in her bed, in her little studio apartment, as the night dragged on. There would be no sleeping tonight, as the next day would only bring anxiety and pain. So, despite Rowan’s sore shoulder, they’d made love and were now lying together, their skin against one another’s, in the dim moonlight, atop Aelin’s bed.

“I still can’t believe everything went so well with my dad,” Aelin muttered, against his chest.

Rowan chuckled. “You’re very convincing.”

With a roll of her eyes, Aelin grinned. “You’re so full of shit.”

“You keep telling me that,” Rowan muttered.

Aelin chuckled. “Because it’s true.”

“I don’t wanna talk about any of that,” Rowan said, brushing the golden strands out of her face. “I don’t wanna talk about your father, or Arobynn, or tomorrow….”

“Then what do you want to talk about?” she asked, quietly.

Rowan was quiet for a moment. Then, he said, softly, “Nothing. Just be here with me.”

“Okay,” she agreed, snuggling up as close to him as she could get.

They laid like that for hours, Rowan rubbing slow, gentle circles on her back with his fingertips. He ran through the plan in his mind over and over and over again. He’d sent Arobynn a letter the day before, saying that he couldn’t find Maeve, but that he wouldn’t back down. They’d meet at the docks at noon to faceoff. Even with his and Rhoe’s men, they would be outnumbered, but Rowan was confident.

Confident enough, anyway, but apparently still worried enough not to get any sleep. He had been sleeping better in the last week, with Aelin beside him, his calming anchor, but tonight was different.

Tonight, he watched Aelin, with her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling with steady breaths. She clung to his chest, as if she, too, was afraid to let go.

Because yes, Rowan was confident in his men, but if someone died tomorrow, it was going to be him.

~~~~~

Just after dawn, Arobynn stood at the docks, helping Maeve onto the ship to Eyllwe.

“Take care of business and come straight back,” he ordered.

“I will,” she promised, kissing his lips before letting go of his hand and stepping on board the ship with her travelling case.

Arobynn watched as she disappeared with his child in her womb. He didn’t like the thought of her being away from him while she carried his child, but as life went on, business had to, also.

She wouldn’t be gone long, though, and he would be distracted, building his empire.

Starting with today.

He turned on his heels, heading back to his warehouse where his men would soon be gathering, preparing.

They had to get ready.

Come noon, they would have a man to kill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@mariamuses @garnet-29 @writer-reader-traveller @rowaelin-cressworth @space-buns-arsinoe @negativenesta @empress-ofbloodshed @the-regal-warrior @starseternalnighttriumphant @westofmoon @sammyjojaaaa @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @carbconnoisseur @acer6437 @lorcansalvatearupmyheart @cool-ish-nerd @mynewdreamwasyou @mourning-razorlust @thespiritualrider @rowaelinforeverworld @didsomeonesayviolin @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks @queen-of-glass @the-dark-swan @http-itsrebecca @holdingon-21@babycardan @tswaney17 @mollycateoc @chemicha @bat-wing-rhys @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thespiritualrider @luna-the-little @morebooks-pls @shyvioletcat @hermajestyanna @a97girl @stardustsroses @queenofthemoon22 @alifletcher2012 @awkward-avocado-s @faerie-queen-fireheart @cwheart @lovemollywho @emilyrose111294 @nerdperson524 @sleeping-and-books @cursebreaker29 @flora-and-fae @feyrethedarklady @the-dark-swan @rowaelinforeverworld @sjmsstuff @januarystears @mis-lil-red @acourtofmoonlight @rowaelinforeverworld @courtofmaasdestruction @jjellybean @thewayshedreamed @wind-drinker @aelin-rowan-whitehorn @starseternalnighttriumphant @hurema @http-itsrebecca @lorcansalvatearupmyheart @cityofchelsea16 @januarystears @iliketoasterstrudels @lightitup-bryce @yikesitsmaddie @feyrethedarklady @i-love-all-books @keshavomit @sleeping-and-books @scarznstars @http-itsrebecca @cat5313 @moondancer-204 @booklover242 @belamoonbeam @they-call-me-cuatro @b00kworm @mu-si-ca-l @thegayerpotato @abraxos-is-toothless @keshavomit @musicdreamer003 @superspiritfestival @sailorsassley @mymultiversee @alxanxah @viviaannvu123 @mysweetvillain @theghostlyharrypooperfan

#throne of glass #tacmc the cadre #tog #the cadre #rowaelin #lysaedion #elorcan #fanfic #fanfiction #sjm #period au #1920s au

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