don't read tags if you don't want to see me rant about my health for a sec

I saw the fnaf movie.

I absolutely LOVED ITTT

There will be NO HATE for it on my account.

I loved the pillow fort part, they're KIDS in the suits makes sense, and if you say it isn't realistic with them being murderers, just assume it was to lure Abby to them for later. Literally EVERYTHING they did was understandable and funny/scary when it needed to be.

Foxy's dumdum doom song was suuper spooky to hear and seeing him attacking was also terrifying. Seeing Bonnie in the closet with that one guy was GREAT and absolutely terrifying. (Carl) Cupcake was terrifying and entertaining as a tiny chihuahua villain (you cannot convince me he isn't Susie's dog). The bite scene with Freddy shook me and was cool (even if it was only in silhouette, but meh pg 13 rating and all). It was cool seeing golden freddy too, seeing the kid and everything. Seeing vids of people hugging chica and her reaction to getting her cupcake messed with me for the movie kinda, like she was so sweet, even in the movie, until she was bringing Abby into the scooper type thing, like she legit scared me by that point. XD

Mike was cool, his story was interesting enough, I felt bad for him. Abby was a interesting with her dynamic with Mike and how she generally was as a proper character, the actress was very good. Honestly all of the kid actors did well I'm happy and proud of them for taking their roles as seriously as they needed to. Mathew Lillard did amazing as "Steve" my sis didn't go into the movie knowing anything about it past it being a fnaf movie and the twist with him got her. XD I knew the twist, but whatever, it was still a fun time seeing him. Vanessa was...well honestly I'm mixed on her.

Vanessa looked like she just had trauma with the place, I thought she was gonna be a sister to one of the kids, hence her hanging around and watching out for the guards. It was definitely a twist having her be Will's daughter, but given the theories people made about game Vanessa I kinda see where it would come in to play... The ONLY criticism with the movie I have is that her actions made no sense, even with knowing she's the daughter. One minute she's telling Mike as much as she can to attempt to get him to research for himself, then she's getting all huffy about him doing anything. I'm not gonna be having any other posts about how much she seemed to think ass backwards so here are ALL of my complaints on Vanessa:

Her choice to get mad at him for "not locking the place up" makes less and less sense when you consider WHAT door the thugs came through. Mike only had access to the MAIN door, the thugs came in through a garage door or something with a CROWBAR/other weapon, which she would've seen, not like the animatronics could've dealt with their vehicle. Her choice to demand an explanation for why Mike had sleeping pills at his work? Not a good look, she's not his employer so he has no legal reason to tell her shit. "Oh I have to write you up on letting some people come in and wreck the place" the place has SECURITY CAMS, and he was OFF DUTY last I checked if the security isn't there it isn't THEIR fault. IF ANYTHING it would be hers, she's the cop that patrols the place daily. Also THROWING MIKE'S PILLS INTO THE LAKE??? I'm sorry but as a chronically ill person myself, NO, anyone even touches my pills without asking I'm gonna rip em a new one. I don't know what med he had or the price for those kinda meds, but the guy is OBVIOUSLY BROKE, and just cause he said he used them for his dream theory stuff doesn't mean he didn't still need them for normal sleep at home. No instead she threw them in the lake and he had to spend anywhere from $120 USD to like $800 USD (I'm guessing but I'm still probably off since we don't know if he had insurance or not) later on in the movie. Also her getting upset with him having Abby, I get it she got hurt, but until that point (and hey if she had SAID don't touch the guitar NOTHING WOULD'VE HAPPENED) the animatronics were fine with her, they were having fun and enjoying themselves. Also telling Mike "I'll shoot you if you bring here again" did she really think he brought there for no reason? She's a kid, the animatronics are OBVIOUSLY dangerous, and even before that he knew the place had been WRECKED meaning he had to make the conscious choice to bring her into an old ass building that was destroyed to some degree, and she thought he took that choice LIGHTLY????? LIKE NO his usual babysitter got killed THANKS (not that he knew that). He was out his ONLY babysitter who the kid didn't despise with her whole being.

Alright Vanessa rant over, still a good movie I absolutely loved it, just slight irritations with Vanessa. ALSO bb scares were funny and I got spooked with the first one, had an internal spook reaction to the second, and the third I knew was going to happen kinda (knew a scare was coming, didn't expect it to be bb). My partner pretty much jumped at all three bb scares. XD

And finally, the spring lock scene, I wasn't sure it would actually be in the movie. I thought it being pg 13 (yes technically pg 15 in non-american theaters) we'd get a silhouette like the bite scene, but I was pleasantly surprised with it being a longer drawn out death. I say drawn out, but I just mean it was allowed to happen as slowly as it needed to be, it didn't take roughly two seconds for him to die. It took as long as it should've given what he did and how the characters felt about it. The kids got their revenge and it was long and painful for Willy, just as it should've been.

Also at the very end of the credits we get the voice that says letters and it spelled "COME FIND ME" which was cool to hear. Apparently there was a shadow freddy easter egg thing, so it was probably him saying it, but I don't know for sure.

ADHD, Adderall, & Disordered Eating

TW for: All the things listed in the title

Crossposting from Twitter.

I was reading a great thread of Pros and Cons of Adderall from @WhattheADHD on Twitter. One of the items on the "CON" listed included this item about eating disorders, and how Adderall's appetite suppressive effect can be dangerous for people struggling with body dysmorphia or eating disorders. This is true and important, and nothing I say below is meant to deny or contradict that. But it doesn't match my own experience, and so I think there's more to explore, especially as I don't often see disordered eating discussed among the common presentations of ADHD. (Which it is.)

The one true shock to come out of my ADHD diagnosis was the realization that I'd had a binge eating issue my whole life, stemming from my ADHD. There were so many times where I was eating, and in my head telling myself "you're not hungry, you should stop," but I just...couldn't. I routinely ate to the point that I was in pain, and understood that as "satisfaction." I genuinely never realized what I was actually doing.

In my first screening for ADHD, the practitioner asked if I experienced binge eating, and I said "no." She then asked things like "Do you eat when you're not hungry? Do you eat so much it hurts?"

"Well, yeah, sure."

"Often?"

"Yes?"

"Okay, so...that's binge eating."

"Oh."

And then I sat there a moment, reevaluating an entire lifetime of eating.

It's important to stress: my disordered eating did not involve body dysmorphia, and I think that's a key difference in the impact this medication can have. For me it's about impulse control, involuntary action, and misfiring body signals. You know that moment when you're like, "I'm so full, I couldn't eat another bite!" Well...I didn't. I understood that statement as hyperbole, not as something that people, like...actually experienced. I had never felt that. I could *always* eat another bite.

Until I started on meds for my ADHD. Wellbutrin helped in that it reined in my impulsivity a bit. I had a bit more agency in deciding whether I *wanted* to eat something before just eating it. But Adderall changed my whole experience of eating, for the better. It gave me a mental prompt that said "Hey, you're full! Time to stop eating!" I'd never had that before.

The first time I was eating, and reached the point where a barrier suddenly went up that said "Hey, man, you're done!" I was genuinely confused (and a little annoyed). But I realized that this was what people meant. "I'm so full, I can't eat another bite!" It was literal! The thought of continuing to eat made me queasy, because I was full, and I actually knew it. So I just...stopped eating. And being able to do that felt like a superpower.

It still feels absolutely surreal to me that I can be eating something, and partway through just decided to not finish it. Or save half for later instead of having the whole thing now. "I can bring half my meal home from the restaurant? Holy shit!"

So this was very much in the "PRO" column of Adderall for me. Not as "appetite suppression," but as "appetite awareness." I'm much better able to judge whether I'm hungry or not, and have agency over how I respond to those signals. And I feel physically better for it.

Decisions to protect myself

More and more, I am giving myself permission (it was always within my power) to protect myself.

I couldn't when I was growing up with my mom - not even to the police who showed up when she physically abused me so badly when I was six - I didn't want them to take me away - I lied - I kept lying my whole life - I knew she loved me but I also knew what she was doing was wrong - and I thought I was wrong and that I deserved it. I thought I deserved it all. I deeply thought I was stupid and if I tried harder, I wouldn't be such a stupid child. Nothing I did in my life made them think I wasn't ruining my life. They'd mock me telling me how I wouldn't get into community college... and I fucking made it into an Ivy League (I made it broken and shattered but regardless). And now, now that I'm out as trans and completely redefining my life... they think I've lost it.

--

That's it, right?

The moment I show who I am... when it goes against what you wanted me to be, that's when you think I've lost it.

After all the excuses and the effort I put into ALL of you - the moment that I need support... real support, you leave.

I was completely discarded by my spouse and their entire family - FAMILY who I considered my own. They did nothing to help me. My MIL, who I loved, .... she didn't get it. I had to cut off ties with her because she didn't understand why I was calling it domestic violence. I knew she would side with her child so I let her go.

--

What did it look like from the outside??

It's so easy to look at me like I'm crazy, I guess. I'm unreliable when I'm being gaslit and controlled. When I'm pleading with myself that they're not really doing anything wrong. When I only showcase the good and not the bad. See me crying - trying to reason with my abuser who I loved - listen to them explain how crazy and unreasonable I am....

I went to therapy for years. I maintained my friendships. I have documented how physically ill I was - in my medical chart. I was having severe flares. I was having symptoms I couldn't explain. I'd go nonverbal. Sometimes my body would just give up.

I fought for our relationship to the best of my ability until I realized I was in serious danger.

They did not fight for us - they just thought they were right.

They had a six-figure job, kept me trapped within our home due to fear of covid, berated me, denied how serious the emotional abuse was, didn't work on repairing our relationship, did NOT seek therapy or any external help, refused to come up with solutions with me, imposed ultimatums, convinced their ex (babe, you're not a great mental health advocate if you're going around telling people I'm having a psychotic breakdown - bc even if I were, that's ableist! You literally could have done the noble thing and refused to interact with me - but you didn't - you cruelly defended your ex because you sided with them) that I'm making shit up, tried to get me to block my lovers (and they knew about each and every one of them - I did not keep shit from them) despite not blocking their exes, convinced me systematically to let go of friendships and isolate myself, undermined my sense of worth, REFUSED TO GET HELP FOR OUR MOUSE INFESTATION THAT WAS WORSE THAN OUR RISK FOR COVID OMFG WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU, tried to take my meds away, judged me for being so ill I couldn't do things, threw tantrums when I needed my own space, probably called me abusive when I left food in the sink which I tried so hard not to do (it only happened bc I needed to stage how I did dishes (Oh yeah, I did dishes most of the time because they couldn't - did y'all know that? Did y'all know how much household coordination I did while being chronically ill and in pain? They hated asking for help so I had to either beg them to help me when I was physically weak, pay for people to help, plead/beg for them to allow people to help us, or do it myself) because of my fatigue and illness you ableist dumb motherfucker... and more. And the last time we had sex, it was rape. It undoubtedly was. You had such little empathy for me that you can't even tell. You made my life miserable because I went to MN and left you alone because I had to go help my brother - something you knew I would do in a heartbeat. You denied how badly you were hurting so you hurt me instead. You hurt your best friend and spouse who LOVED YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. Look at me now - does it look like I'm having a breakdown? Is my rage all a joke to you? You think I'm insane because you don't think I'm allowed to have my valid feelings? Does it make you happy to know that you destroyed your relationship with your autistic, trans, brown, traumatized spouse who loved you so much? Do you acknowledge that I'm finally able to live my life? I can move more - look at how different I look - my inflammation is down - and I do not care if I am putting myself at covid-risk (I'm vaccinated and more knowledgeable about my risk because I'm a fucking epidemiologist who knows that my social needs are just as important than preventing infection). Do I need to spell it out for you? I tried so hard to diagnose what was going wrong with my life... it was you (and my mom and all my trauma), but acutely, it was you.

And if you had worked on yourself and us - I would have stayed with you forever.

I really hope the divorce gets finalized this year.

Next time, I'm having a prenup, a huge wedding, couple's therapy wayyyy before we get married, an insistence on inner work for the both of us (this is a requirement for all relationships from here on out), and more.

I deserve the fucking world, and I hate that you all almost had me believing that I did not.

Hello YSJ! I was at PTD Day 2 and while the concert was great, I left feeling doubtful about Jikook. All of the Jikook moments during the performance that everyone is cooing over felt like regular friendly interactions rather than “loud” moments (except the butt squeeze which I didn’t see due to being so short). I was hoping to see for myself their love since there’s no better “original content” than what you see with your own eyes, and I saw nothing but professional behavior. Thoughts?

Hi anon, WELL THIS IS LONGER THAN INTENDED OKAY I wasn't there live, but I did catch it via some very kind Friends of the People - well, mostly. I was super tired and also on some rather heavy meds. Also the streams weren't nearly as stable on Day Two. (If it helps I PAID FOR MY DAY FOUR 4K MULTIVIEW HYBE DON'T COME FOR ME) but I saw a number of things that made me coo and sigh and smile. So it might come down to what we saw and personal opinion, but...

Two things: One, moments in real time are FAST. We don't get those sweet slowed-down edits set to Doja Cat grooves that I LOVE LOVE LOVE do not get me wrong, I watch them for fun and ... fun. They are also not reactor vids that go back and catch the same moment twice. Hell, they're not even Weverse translations. A lot gets lost in context onstage. and B., moments in real time are often overshadowed by LIGHTS and LOUD MUSIC and your eyes are literally EVERYWHERE. Rose Bowl, for example, was MUCH LOUDER on video and because it was caught on the big screens and it was long enough that the hyungs had all moved away before it was over - and it still was less than ten seconds long in total. Also, you're looking at stuff from a distance instead of the video and photo closeups we get later:

So if you're at the concert and you are enjoying yourself, as you should, you are probably missing as much as your eyes can catch and interpret just by the nature of the event. And as a hobbit I can empathize also with the short thing, I even lie to my own doctors about my height, they have stopped arguing with me and just adjust my BMI accordingly but WE ALL KNOW I CAN'T SEE SHIT WITHOUT PLATFORMS AND A BUDDY.

This is actually how I started watching edits - because I was missing so much in original content, even in performance video that focused on the guys. But after a few weeks and finding the youtubers I like and don't, (see me for recommendations), I made myself watch original content mainly for context. Korean is an incredibly contextual language - verbal and written translation alone is not nearly adequate to get it into English as it is meant to be. Even good translators have a hard time making it sound as it is intended. Physical moments are QUICK - a brush of a hand on an ass or a chest, or a missed bro bump because Koo was tryna BRIDAL CATCH HIS MAN is so rapid in real time that it is very blink-and-miss-it. But the guys are, in fact, AT WORK when they are onstage and this is something we like to forget. THEY WORKING BB. They damn well better look and act professional or they are gonna hear about it.

And right now there is the military question to contend with. If you are expecting kisses and declarations of love that is not going to happen, not in Vegas, not any time until and unless that is resolved in a manner favorable to a coming-out party. The Korean military does not look kindly upon faggotry of any stripe, not in the guise of fanservice, not in any way at all thank you. Not under the incoming administration - President Yoon is virulently homophobic and so are his cronies and that is not something the Taekookers are taking into account. But for me, I saw SO MANY LITTLE MOMENTS. But I'm not the Jeon-Parks' evangelist - I'm more of a... Jeon Park Roomba? IDK in my house the Roomba is named Dobby and we don't give it socks and sometimes Yoongi tries to ride it so I identify as a Roomba in this story. (Whatever that's my brain sorry) But I am sorry you didn't get to see this:

I guess basically we all see different things, and we can miss a lot in live shows. And if the offstage lives and content they give us combined with the professional, working moments we get from a staged concert (okay the ass grab was... not professional) wasn't enough to keep you thinking they're a couple, then I don't really have any advice for you. Maybe you just see a friendship. And that's okay.

The real question is, do you still love them? Still love BTS? Have a great concert experience? If the answer is "yes", that's all good. :)

To bargain for immortality pt.1

It's here fellas, the mutation sequel that I've mercilessly teased you with!

Content warnings: gore, torture, blood (like... lots), just a bunch of puking up blood, Miranda being her usual mad scientist self, torture in the name of science, Nicole be sick af (both literally and of crow mommy's bullshit), a little bit of blood drinking as a treat, medical procedures.

////

Tic toc tic toc

God that clock is so annoying.

Nicole wasn’t nervous. No. She chose this, at least for the most part. She had a long conversation with all her family, Alcina and Esteria both assuring her that it would work. It’s been years since the beginning of the experiments and by this point the process was almost perfected.

Miranda knew what she was doing.

That mattered little to her nerves though.

She instinctively pushed herself further into Cassandra’s side, who’s grip around her waist tightened ever so slightly.

The waiting was downright tortuous.

She, along with Cassandra and her two sisters were in her infirmary. The room mixed the ancient decor of the castle with modern medical equipment in a beautiful way. Not that anything less would be acceptable. Not that the familiarity of her workspace brought her any comfort either.

All their eyes snapped in the direction of the door when a heavy set of footsteps, with two lighter ones, were heard down the hallway outside. Soon the door opened with a barely audible creak and the two matriarchs entered, followed suit by Mother Miranda. Her presence alone was enough to make Nicole’s breath get lost somewhere in her throat, on its way to an exhale. The black wings, even partially folded as they were, did their job of making her look so much more intimidating than she was. Not that she needed them to begin with, a look from those icy gray eyes more than enough to send anyone to their knees.

Mother Miranda was, in all ways that mattered, a goddess.

A goddess that was about to infect her with the same thing that failed countless times in the past. The same thing that made the crawling mindless beasts used as guard dogs in the undergrounds. Or that made all the lycans.

Nicole gulped, a gesture gone thankfully unnoticed to anyone other than her painfully dry mouth.

But Miranda didn’t spare her a glance. She simply busied herself with some tools she had brought on one of the metal tables. With each clink the room seemed to close in on her slightly more, until Nicole felt as if she somehow ended up in one of Heisenberg's death traps. Spikes moving closer and closer until they would pierce her body and leave her in a messy pool of blood and entrails.

She shook her head and took a long inhale. No. This was going to work. She was not about to lose her family over a pesky thing such as mortality. She was not about to lose Cassandra. If getting infected by the Cadou was what it took to spend eternity with her lover then so be it. Possible side effects be damned.

Mother Miranda finally seemed to have finished, a now empty flask labeled Cadou sitting on the desk behind her while the parasite was writhing in her hand, thin whip-like tentacles extending frantically around itself. She called her over with a nod, and with a deep breath and a parting hand squeeze from Cassandra, Nicole forced her legs to take her across the room. Her steps didn't waver, she'd be damned if she'd show any hesitancy in front of this.

"Shall we begin."

It wasn't a question really, merely veiled impatience. Miranda did not like her, plain and simple. The fact that she was there to begin with was already a miracle. Miracle that wouldn't have happened were it not for the Ladies themselves asking for it.

"Yes of c-"

Before her words even had time to completely slip out of her mouth, golden talons plunged into the base of her sternum.

"Hopefully this can teach you that I don't like people going behind my back."

Nicole let out a choked gasp, hands instinctively wrapping around Miranda's arm, weakly grabbing at black robes. Ironically enough, those very talons were keeping her upright and, when they were removed from her flesh with a disgusting squelch of blood, Nicole curled in on herself, falling to her knees.

"Wha-... cking ki-... -er!"

Cassandra's voice reached her ears broken up, barely passing through the deafening ringing. Miranda also gave a reply and then seemed to address someone else but her much calmer tone meant that it only sounded like a vague mumble.

Not that Nicole particularly cared at the moment.

She curled into a ball, her hands almost clawing at her chest trying to find some sort of relief. It seemed as if vicious tendrils were making their way into every vein and muscle, tearing their way through any tissue they found. Her chest felt as if it had a hot iron pressed directly onto the skin, searing pain radiating in a cruel pulse matching her frantic heartbeat. By that point she was either sobbing or heaving, something that involved shallow breaths for sure. Her lungs were protesting fiercely, emptying of oxygen and then refusing to refill if not with great strain.

To make everything worse, the pain seemed to shift, now engulfing her spine and sending jolts that made her head spin and want to throw up despite her jaws being clenched shut so tightly that she was sure she'd start to taste copper soon.

She was only vaguely aware of hands shifting her body and soothing words that fell on deaf ears. She was now on a softer surface, but that did nothing to alleviate the assault on each of her senses. Probably she had thrown up at a certain point as her sinuses felt like being scraped by sandpaper with each shuddering breath. Her mouth too had a lingering taste of both bile and blood that made her stomach turn all over again. She would give anything for her body to finally shut down.

Why was she still awake and conscious god damn it. There was only so much her body was supposed to take before the brain shut down and she was reaching her limit of how much agony she could endure at a moment.

Please please please just pass out please.

She didn't though. Her body seemingly deciding to feel every single bit of the infection process, complete with the unending waves of pain and nausea that hit her more than she wanted to count. Any bit of sanity left in her would've probably disappeared had she tried.

---

It took two days for the agonizing pain to subside. Another two for Nicole to be able to form any kind of coherent sentence. Cassandra's soothing voice was of immense comfort, always there to tell her how well she was doing and how it would all be better soon.

God she hoped.

On the fifth day, her stomach still lurched at any movement too sudden. Her lungs seemed to fill with blood, courtesy of the still gaping wound at the bottom of her sternum, with any inhale too deep. The fact that she got used to the coppery taste rising up in her throat was disgusting in and of itself. At least there weren't jolts of pain shooting through every nerve and muscle in waves anymore though. That was something.

The fog in her brain was still clearing. It was hard to focus on anything, and each time Cassandra, or anyone else, asked her a question they would have to repeat it at least three times. It was beyond frustrating, the mind that got her through med school drunk half the time was failing the insurmountable task of saying whether or not she'd like some water. Glorious.

A faint knock on the door reached her ears. A redundant gesture really, as she didn't exactly have the clarity of mind to answer. Besides it was hard to catch her in a more compromising state than curled up in the fetal position, covered in sweat and most likely blood clots stuck to her lips.

Esteria came in, her one blue eye that wasn't covered looking at her with all the gentleness neither of her parents had ever offered her. Or it was just the cruel trick of a delirious brain. Either way, light barefoot steps took the Mistress to her bed. She sat in the chair adjacent to it and, with taloned fingers brushing strands of auburn hair out of Nicole's face, she spoke softly.

"How are you feeling today?"

Her voice was just as melodious as ever. It was the voice one imagines they would hear from an ancient being found deep in the forest. It made Nicole just a tad guilty when the only answer she could give was a pathetic whine.

Esteria simply hummed, talons running through the long messy locks of hair sprawled on the sheets.

"Would you like me to braid this for you dear?"

Nicole frowned. The Mistress was an expert at braiding, quick fingers able to make beautiful designs, both simple and complex. Comes with having floor length hair, her hazy mind guessed. On any normal day, Nicole would've accepted without a second thought. But now? Now she was painfully aware of the state she was currently in.

"It's filthy," she croaked, her voice raw and like stones in her mouth.

And it was. Her hair was waist length and right now it was slowly becoming a curse. It was greasy and sweaty thanks to barely being able to move a limb for nearly a week, which meant no showers. Not to mention how she lost count of the times she bent down to empty the contents of her stomach into a bucket, only to have some rebel locks fall in her face and get subsequently dirty. God she felt awful.

Esteria didn't seem to care too much though, as she simply helped Nicole shift slightly and talons started to work at some pesky mats. In no time, her hair was in a comfortable braid that started relatively high, keeping the locks away from her nape which meant just a tad less overheating. Not to mention it kept it in place and away from her mouth that she didn't trust in the slightest right now.

"Thanks," she actually managed to not let her voice crack this time.

"Oh it's no problem. Also," there seemed to be an odd strain in her voice, "Mother Miranda is coming this evening. She said something about an examination."

Nicole couldn't help but openly wince and curl in on herself a little more at the mere mention of the woman. Her chest seemed to pulsate painfully at the memory of the golden talons embedded deep in her flesh. Right now she wanted those hands anywhere away from her.

"What time is it?"

Esteria looked at the clock placed somewhere on the wall behind them. "About twelve. Still got time."

How hard would it be to drag herself to the adjacent bathroom for a quick shower? The only way her situation could get worse was if none other than Mother Miranda came in to see her in that state. She took a deep breath that her lungs protested against and pushed herself onto her elbows. At Esteria's skeptical expression she tried to sound less horrible than she felt.

"I need a shower."

Esteria pursed her lips. "Sorry dear but I don't believe for one second that you can stand for more than a minute. I'll ask a maid to draw you a bath."

Nicole only nodded weakly and let herself fall back into the cushion.

---

It took far longer than Nicole would ever admit to get herself fully clean. Her muscles were sore and protesting at every pass of the soapy sponge. Her hair was a whole other battle and she had to bite down on her pride and ask the maid positioned outside her door for help. It was a tortuous fifteen minutes until the poor girl managed to detangle the long locks enough to be shampooed and washed.

After she was content with the level of cleanliness of her body and the maid was dismissed, she stood there preparing herself to get out of the basin. In the meantime she looked down at the wound at the bottom of her sternum. Maybe wound wasn't the right word. It looked more like a gray and black scar with vein-like tendrils spreading across pale skin. It looked downright gruesome. Miranda really did not try to do a clean job in the slightest. Didn't even think to use anesthesia, like she had with most other experiments, according to Alcina.

She sighed and finally pushed herself out of the water with shaky arms.

By the time Mother Miranda arrived she was feeling slightly better. Why she came personally was still a mystery to Nicole. Maybe some sick sense of satisfaction in seeing her in pain.

Either way, by the time their so-called goddess came into the infirmary and told Nicole to lay down on one of the tables, she managed to shuffle her way over without her body protesting too much. Cassandra also quietly made her way on the opposite side of Miranda, gaining herself a glare.

"Must you hover over her like that?" Miranda's tone was as even as ever, but her eyes betrayed annoyance.

"Does it hinder you?"

Cassandra was not an idiot, the growl she wanted to add into her question was instead replaced by a tone not too dissimilar to Miranda's own, who simply tugged her lips into a grimace.

"Very well."

At first they went through a normal examination. Pupil dilation, reflexes, all things a normal doctor would do. Then Miranda told her to unbutton her blouse so she could take a look at the infection scar.

Nicole couldn't help flinching when thankfully gloved fingers would poke and prod at the sensitive flesh there. Her cold digits felt like hot coals were spread on her chest and nails dragged uselessly on the metal underneath her body for some sort of distraction.

Mother Miranda decided to get a tissue sample and that's when Nicole decided that maybe she would rather spend eternity as a ghost. She squeezed her eyes shut when a scalpel was brought to the overly sensitive skin. It took her back to when she would do autopsies, years ago. Tissue samples were always an integral part of her work. How ironic that she found herself on the other side of things.

It's fine.

She winced when the blade cut into flesh and sent a jolt of pain through her chest. Nicole couldn't help but think of the long days she spent agonizing while her chest felt like it was burning her alive and hoping that it wouldn't repeat. A sigh of pure relief slipped past her lips when whatever fake deity there was besides this woman, listened to her and the sensation died out quickly. She dared to open her eyes, only to see Mother Miranda frowning down at the small vial in hand.

It was quickly given to an assistant and she unceremoniously grabbed Nicole's wrist, dragging the blade across the length of her forearm.

Nicole gasped at the sudden sharp pain, and even Cassandra dropped a few choice words in romanian due to the surprise. No. No no no. What the hell-

Any questions, or less dignified reaction, died in everyone's throats as they watched the skin stitch itself back together. The repairing muscles gave a tingling sensation but soon the only proof that a cut had been there were thin trails of blood.

Mother Miranda chuckled and wrote down something in the notebook she brought with her. "Accelerated healing. That can be of use."

Nicole couldn't help but throw a glance at Alcina, who was sitting in one of the many chairs with Esteria by her side. Her expression was unreadable, a mix of conflicting emotions flashing in her eyes like rapid lightning. She would've tried to decipher their matriarch's probable thoughts were it not for the smell that was starting to assault her senses.

"Ugh what's that…blood… "

Coherent sentences were still not something her brain wanted to do apparently, but judging by how her nose scrunched up in a grimace, Cassandra got the gist of what she meant.

"Um… your arm," she pointed to the still fresh blood slowly dripping from her skin.

Right. Dumbass.

"Or damaged sinuses. Should go away soon," Miranda added from where she was noting something down and giving instructions to her assistant.

Also fair.

She sighed and tried to ignore it. Her sinuses still felt like sandpaper all the way to the back of her throat. Every time she swallowed, it felt like needles scraping the inside of her neck down to her stomach.

Ugh.

Thankfully, Mother Miranda did not linger for much longer. She wrapped up any samples and was out of the room soon after with her assistant in tow. Then, Nicole could finally go back to laying down in bed and feeling miserable.

And miserable she felt. Her body seemed to have decided to rewire itself into its new mutation. It didn't have any effect on her physical appearance, but the insides seemed to want to liquefy only to be mended back together. It was another week of basically living with a bucket in her lap and throwing up blood clots that seemed to invade her lungs and organs. How she didn't straight up asphyxiate was a mystery that she didn't think she wanted solved.

And to top it off, she was starting to think that humidity from some leaky pipe somewhere in the castle was causing a slight mold problem. Almost everywhere she went, there was this faint moldy scent lingering in the air and it was mixing horribly with the coppery feeling inside her still offended throat and sinuses. Nobody seemed bothered by it though, so maybe it was simply a side effect of the infection that was yet to go away. It wasn’t nicknamed the Mold for nothing, after all.

When The OP Boys Are Sick

A/N : idk enjoy. And honestly all of them would be very needy for attention :p

Includes : Kid, Law, Luffy, CAVENDISH 🤍 and Bartolomeo.

Summary : how these five boys react when they’re sick in bed.

-

Luffy

Luffy is a child so he wants attention, but he’ll be the wailing, sobbing type. If he isn’t, then he’s the drunk type.

“[NAAAAMEEEE]! I WANT MEAT!..”

The poor rubber boy suddenly became weak and falls back into bed with a thud, his face exploding in the burning fever he was having.

“Luffy..” you sigh in exasperation, rushing over and checking his temperature before tucking him back in. “Sanji’s making you some soup, with small bites of chicken, you can’t have big cooked meat yet.”

Luffy cries out in agony dramatically, wailing at the thought of no meat and groans. “I WANT MEATTTT! Get me meat nowww!”

Your head began to ring with Luffy’s cries, his tears staining his cheeks and pillow, while his snot began to fill up and drip down his nose. His sniffles were heard and you can tell Nami was slowly fuming outside the room from Luffy’s childish cries.

You just smile softly and go over to your Captain, placing your hand in his and leaned close, pressing your forehead to his.

The action made Luffy stop as he quieted down and stares at you with teary eyes and small sniffles.

“Luffy, your fever is slowly but surely going down. If you relax, rest and eat Sanji’s delicious soup then you’ll be better by tomorrow afternoon. I’ll spend some beli’s to get you meat, okay?”

Luffy’s teary eyes slowly went away and a hopefully and starry glint shined in them. “..really?”

“Yes, now relax and get some rest, alright? When Sanji’s done with your soup, I’ll bring it to you.”

Luffy then plasters a wide grin and and chuckles eagerly. “Shishishi~ okay!~” he sang out, gripping the blanket and shutting his eyes.

You shake your head playfully at how easily he listened and just smiled at him, letting him rest.

“Good night, Luffy.”

-

Law

Law is the strong silent type, so he won’t say anything, he’s just all shy and embarrassed easily when he’s sick~

“It’s amazing that even you can get sick.”

Your lips curve up in amusement as you sat in the chair beside Law’s bed, said male currently resting upon it with shallow breathing and shut eyes.

Your legs were crossed and in your hand was a good book you were reading. The appearance was similar to Law’s whenever you were sick and honestly, it made you feel prideful and great to have the roles reversed.

“Shut up..” Law turns away onto his side to hide his face which was surely pink, but not due to the fever.

You giggle at him and set your book to the side and lean closer to him. “Don’t be embarrassed, Law, everyone gets sick once in a while. Even doctors.” You tease, making the poor boy flush further as he clicks his tongue.

“Stop talking. Leave, I’m sleeping now.”

You just giggle further and stand up. “Fine, I’ll be back with some soup for you. You want bread with it?”

Law pales and he gives a sharp look to you with the tilt of his head. “I swear if you try that, I’ll-“

“Yeah, yeah. See you in a bit.” You roll your eyes playfully and went to walk away when Law grabs your hand.

“What is it-“

With force, Law pulls you back to the bed and into it beside him, and he turns to wrap his arms around your torso.

Your back is facing him so you can’t see his face but his tight grip on your waist and legs around yours let’s you know you aren’t going anywhere.

“Stay.”

“You literally just said to-“

“I know what I said! Now I want you to stay!”

He buries his face into the neck and hair and inhaled your scent a bit, relaxing his grip and just held your closer.

“Just stay with me..”

-

Kid

Kid is literally a giant ass toddler who wants nothing but attention, but his stubborn ass will act all strong and tough.

“Fuck off! Leave me alone! Come in here and I’ll rip you to shreds and blow you to guts!”

Kid’s loud yells and scowl made the poor lackey outside the door jump in fear and scurry off with his life flashing.

You gave a sympathetic expression to him and exhale, mentally cursing Killer for insisting the Captain to let him take care of those Pirates yesterday, only for Kid to be stubborn and take care of it himself.

It lasted longer than intended since various sea kings appeared and the snow appearing just made it much worse, and now, Kid was sick.

Knocking on the door twice, you wait for a response before letting yourself in.

“OI! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?! I SAID!-“

“Alright, stop yelling already.” Your voice interrupts, slamming the door shut behind you and tossing a cool towel in Kid’s face.

The red head scowls when the towel drops onto his lap when he sat up and scoffs when he sees you. “Get out. Your face irritates me.”

“Thanks.” You lazily smile at him and walk closer towards the bed, setting down a fresh glass of water and some meds for him. “Here, take these.”

Kid eyes the items you set down and turns away. “No way. That shit is disgusting.” The visible sweat forming on his face makes you sigh as you grab a cloth and wipe it gently, much to Kid’s dismay.

“This shit is what will let you get out of bed, Captain dumbass, now take it.” You say, pulling away and Kid narrows his eyes. “What’d you say?!”

“I said-!”

Kid’s rough pull when he grasps your wrist is enough to yank you into his lap and he’s quick to pin you down to the bed.

He smirks down at you before dropping his weight onto yours, successfully crushing you and eliciting a painful grunt from you.

“Agh, get off me, Kid, I have to go help Killer-!”

“Too bad, I have to rest in order to get better, so that’s what I’m doing. You’re stuck here until then.” Kid says, adjusting a bit so both him and you were comfortable as he continues to lay sprawled on top of you.

You hiss and curse into his ear but Kid pays no mind and quite easily falls asleep, making you groan in annoyance and just lay there, exhaling heavily until Killer came in.

“...you’re so fucking heavy..”

-

Cavendish

Oi.. clingy baby omg- Cavendish is precious and so adorable because he’ll want nothing more than to just sleep but with you in his arms. Just pray Hakuba doesn’t show up.

“Come, [Name]! Lay down with yours truly and provide me your body warmth!”

“No.”

Cavendish is visibly shocked when you refuse him and he springs up rather quickly, causing dizziness to form in his aching head. “Ack-“

You heave a sigh and push the tall blonde down on his back and switch the wet rag on his forehead for a fresh one.

“If I lay down with you, I’ll get sick. Who will watch after you then?”

Cavendish merely puffs his cheeks out in defeat and exhales heavily, feeling his forehead burning up despite the chills his body was receiving.

“I’m tired and cold and hot and hungry at the same time!” Cavendish cries out in pure frustration, making you smile at his pain, you patting his chest gently.

“I know, Caven.” You hush out in a soft voice, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand while the others played with his hair.

You pulled the covers up to his shoulders and let him rant on exhaustedly before slowly drowsing off with your delicate touches.

Just as he was about to completely pass and sleep, he mumbles out a few words at the end of his rant.

“...thank you.. [Name]..”

-

Bartolomeo

Bartolomeo is constantly passing out because someone like you is seriously taking care of him. He won’t ever recover, just staying sick for days.

“The one and only [Name] in the flesh!! Taking care of me!?” Tears began welling up in his eyes as Bartolomeo bit his upper lip to prevent making noise.

“What have I done to deserve such a blessing?”

He continued to sob tears of joy, his tears successfully soaking and wetting his cheeks and pillowcase, a bit of his blanket as well.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door.

Startled, Barto quickly pulled up the covers to hide his teary, flushed face and felt his heart beating a million miles a minute.

“Barto, are you awake? I made you some soup.” Your angelic voice calls out and Barto’s heart nearly stops. He was too tongue-tied to speak, only stammering out incoherent noises under the covers.

Assuming he was in pain, you set the bowl down and rip off the covers in a panic, just to see Bartolomeo teary with wide eyes staring up at you.

His face was flushed more than usual and you frown, placing a hand on his forehead. The action alone nearly made him pass out.

“You still have such a high fever... should I take you to Luffy’s doctor?” You ask softly, worry evident in your eyes.

At the mention of seeing the Straw hats, Bartolomeo’s eyes widens and he literally lets out a loud gasp before nearly fainting.

“S-S-S-Straw Hat Luffy?—!”

-

A/N : I wanna write something. I really do. I wanna WRITE, but my hands and head doesn’t want to. Ugh, I feel so unmotivated! >:))) but I’ll push through. I have something I want to do.

Also, I love Cavendish sm but I can’t write for him 😭 whyyyy?

Peculiar and Beautiful // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1333

warnings // angsty but also fluffy

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know besties, don't forget the 'sleepover' on sunday (yes i'll be saying it on every fucking post lol) and yeah, that. also, a little complaining moment from me, im currently in sooooo much pain, my tooth hurts, i got neuralgia on a tooth and ljajakjfa so if this seems high to you it means im on meds for that lol unlucky few days anywaaaays enjoy to revive yourselves from the teasers of iwbys video

request // yes, here

summary // Reader finds themself in a emotional rut. A few comments online, the constant youtube recommendations on how to be “perfect” have been making them feel some type of way, hiding away from the one person that can help them; Victoria

It was a consistent thing and that was the issue. The comments about what Victoria did and did not deserve, who she should be with, the constant shipping with Damiano… And then there were the absolutely random videos on youtube, indirectly telling them what and who they should become, at least according to all those people online. It took less than expected to cave into the vicious lies surrounding their daily life. Although they tried to take control over the situation the absence of Victoria did nothing to improve the rut they were in at the moment.

Her presence tends to be a reassuring thing to her lover. Words need not be spoken, all problems can be hidden, but the moment they look each other in the eye everything is resolved. Understandably, Victoria missing from the equation in the moment made matters far worse than Y/N could imagine.

The self depreciation came in waves. At first it was that they looked “off” next to Victoria, as if for some reason they didn’t please the eye aesthetically when together. It was a comment that was shared around a lot. They did not believe it at first until their brain led them into looking through all the couple’s photos… Maybe they are right, they would mumble before closing the phone and continuing their work.

After that stage came the personal attack. Why don’t I look good next to her? Must be my looks. Agh, if I didn’t look like that… Whenever they passed through a mirror or reflective surface they’d stare at themselves to see how they looked, whether they looked bad or decent. Never gave enough credit to themselves, sometimes not even believing Victoria when mentioning the beauty she was lucky enough to hold in her arms. Always something about being independent and not needing anyone to make them feel valuable due to their looks. Simple and plain stubbornness.

Victoria took not too long to notice how something was off with her lover. At first, she gave not too much attention to it, knowing how both missed each other and knowing how tired they were from work. But, as days passed by she could simply not ignore the situation anymore. She first saw something was off when talking to Y/N on the phone, seeing how they did not exactly respond to her jokes and comments as they usually would. Again, she wrote it off as tiredness, missing her, just as she missed them but it was far more than that. After a while they started cancelling some of their facetime call time, saying different things about having bad days at work and, although, she believed them does not mean she was not worried out of her mind. The more that kept happening the more Victoria kept stressing. Not few were the times she’d end up falling onto Damiano’s bed and almost crying with worry.

“Why don’t you tell them to take some time off? Reckon they said their boss owes them some time off work.” And he was right. The answer to the pair’s misery was there all along and she simply had not seen it.

Victoria wasted no time, rushing to get to her phone and arrange everything. Surprisingly enough, dealing with Y/N’s boss turned out to be the easier part of the whole ordeal. The real struggle coming to persuading them about it.

“Oh come one, cucciolo, I know you want to see me-”

“I do want to Victoria, but I can not. I have work.” Lies, lies, lies. They knew they were lying, work wasn’t their trouble in the moment.

“Dealt with! You have a few days of work. Your boss was surprisingly real nice about it.” They could practically hear the smile the beautiful woman wore on her face but they could not keep their response at bay.

“What?! What did you do?!”

“You sound unhappy…”

“I am not, but Victoria why did you do this before talking to me?”

“Because…” she sighed.

“You are tired, I miss you and you are stubborn. Plus, I wanted to surprise you. I thought it’s be a good surprise... Am I wrong?”

“No, no! It’s great. When is the ticket for?” Everyone knows Y/N can never say no to Victoria, even the girl knows of her partner’s weakness, targeting it with her adorableness at times in order to get them to do something like buy her fries or in this case take a break. But Y/N was not worried about Victoria’s influence on them, or rather not that influence. They were out of this world worried about how little time it was going to take Vic to see their insecurities, maybe she’d even agree with them, they thought.

The first night of being by Vic was pretty normal, just as it was back at home, full of cuddles and kisses and all the children shows and movies playing in the background while the bassist recited all her adventures to her lover.

“And Thomas just felt face first onto the pavement! Can you believe it?!” Y/N laughed lightly, eyes fluttering in an attempt to focus on the woman in front of them and head lazily hang on the pillow by the headboard.

“Are you feeling alright, amore?” She asked, voice soft as she caressed the other person’s cheek.

“Yes, love, just a bit tired.”

“It’s alright, let’s sleep. You had a tiring flight, I get it.” Y/N simply mumbled a thank you, kissing the blonde’s forehead before pulling her close in order to sleep.

Unfortunately, the momentary bliss did not last long. After being seen together people started talking and Y/N returned to the previous thought pattern, this time getting deeper into their insecurities. They felt like they were not enough for Victoria so, while trying to not be suspicious they started distancing themselves from her. They would avoid kisses, get away way to soon for both their liking, sleep early, sleep-in… No matter what they stayed away from too much interaction with Victoria, and she was getting sick of it.

Finding them walking down the hallway from the stairs to their hotel room, Victoria rushed to her partner, making sure to get in the room with them quickly, before they had the chance to hide away - again.

“You are ignoring me,” she simply stated, voice stern but never elevated.

“O-of course not, what are you on about?!” Voice was trembling and eyes were looking everywhere but the exasperated blonde.

“Yes -agh- yes you are! You were all over me when you came here, which I’m not complaining about, and then the next day you all but slept in the tab to avoid me! What is going on, Y/N?” The use of their name might have stung just a little bit, enough to make them talk. They always got worried when Victoria went all first name basis rather than cute pet names.

“I-” they hesitated for a second but the strict look on the woman’s face made them continue.

“People talk, Victoria.”

“About what? What does-”

“About us and you and me… It’s always how I am not a good fit and other things like that and maybe they are right.”

“You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

“Of course I believe that! Look at you, Vic, you are perfect and me? Well, I am me.”

“And that’s exactly why we are together. Because you are you! Y/N, you being who you are is why I fell for you. Your little quirks, those strong characteristics you get insecure about are literally what make you who you are, that individualize you.”

“Really?” They asked with hesitation, fearing the chance of her lying.

“Of course, cucciolo. I love those things that make you different. Reminds me that there is no other one like you and it simply makes me longing for you more,” she praised while leaving kisses all over their neck.

“I simply love you.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina

New Beginnings Ch.2

Female Reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao (Not sure which yet)

Note: Chapter 2. Friend said last one was good. So have another. >w<

Raiden had introduced himself properly and explained Mortal Kombat to you. You were at a complete loss. You hadn’t believed any of it at first, but Raiden had made it clear that this was not a dream or trick. The man shot lightning out of his hand! You were convinced. This was real. It had to be. You weren’t creative enough to dream this up. He was a god.

You were still in shock as Liu led you through the hallways again, this time avoiding any views of the outside. You were lost in your own mind until he stopped at a door. Again, a very simple door.

“This is your room,” He told you, eyes searching you again as he opened the door and gestured for you to take a look.

The room was small and very modest. A simple bed was pushed against a wall. A small wooden table and chair was pushed against the other side. Another doorway led to a small bathroom that, thankfully, had a modern-enough sink and toilet. It would do for one night at least.

“Will you stay and fight Shang Tsung?” Liu asked gently, feeling you out. Raiden had admitted that you didn’t need to help them. Raiden would not force you. But Raiden did say it was your duty. The dragon mark on your left shoulder blade was proof.

Funny. People always did say your birthmark looked like a dragon.

But would you stay? You weren’t sure. This was so much to take in. Why you? You had no experience fighting. You once punched a bully in grade school, but that was it!

You sighed and combed your fingers through your hair. “I don’t know,” You answered. Obviously it wasn’t the answer Liu had hoped for. “I just… This is crazy.”

He nodded. “I understand,” He said, sincerity in his voice. “It’s your decision.”

You turned and looked at him standing in the doorway. “You do understand, don’t you?”

He lifted a brow curiously. “Yes. I felt similar when I was told of Mortal Kombat as well.”

“When was that?”

He thought for a moment. “A little over ten years now.”

“Ten years? You’ve been training here for ten years?”

“Here? Yes. But I grew up in a shaolin monastery. I’ve been training most of my life.”

So he was a monk. Now his behavior made sense. “Did you get taken here out of the blue too?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I defeated a child trafficker and gained his mark. I unlocked my arcana soon after. Lord Raiden found me then. I’ve been here ever since.”

“You never left? At all? Not even to visit family?”

“Oh, yes. I am free to come and go as I please. I often leave to run errands for Lord Raiden.”

“Errands?”

“Yes.”

“Like eggs and milk errands?”

He laughed and shook his head. “To find people and information mostly.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to say to that.

“Does this help you decide if you will stay?”

“I think I just need some time to digest this,” You admitted.

He nodded again. “Speaking of digesting,” He spoke, “Would you like some dinner?”

Oh, god, yes, you thought. You still had no idea when the last time you ate was. A day? Two? Raiden said you were passed out for quite some time. “Yes.” You nodded. “Please.”

Liu smiled again. You liked his smile. It was genuine. Kind. Sincere. He stepped back out of the doorway, allowing you to step out of the room.

You were led into a large room filled with fur rugs and handmade cushions. A low table was placed in the center and another man was already seated and eating. He looked up as Liu led you over.

“Brother, this is Y/N,” Liu introduced you. “She has the mark,” Liu told him as he sat across from him at the table.

“Hello.” You hesitated. This guy had a different energy about him. Or maybe it was just your anxiety. He, you, and Liu were all about the same age. And he, like Liu, was attractive. He probably had a nice ass too.

You weren’t sure if you imagined it or not, but Raiden’s laugh echoed in your mind. Averting your eyes, you lowered yourself next to Liu.

“You don’t look like a fighter,” the man said with a mouth full. His eyes were looking you up and down critically.

“Don’t be rude,” Liu chided as he watched.

The man glanced to Liu as he swallowed his food, then looked back to you. “My name is Kung Lao,” He introduced. “Descendant of the Great Kung Lao.” He was proud of himself.

“Oh…” Was he a prince or something?

“You have no idea who that is, do you?” Kung Lao accused, pointing his chopsticks at you.

A small shrug tugged up your shoulders as you shook your head slowly.

Lao grinned and shook his own head as he looked to Liu. He stopped once he noticed his brother’s disapproval. “So what do you do, Y/N?” he asked as he looked back to you. The way he said your name didn’t bring you much comfort in his presence.

As you stared at him, trying to think of how to answer him, he’d bitten into an egg roll while keeping eye contact with you. “Um… Not really anything, I guess,” you said, nerves starting to get the best of you. This guy was more intimidating than Raiden was.

“Nothing?” Lao asked. “You must do something. You’re breathing right now. That’s something.”

“Lao…” Liu warned and passed you a bowl of rice.

You took the bowl with a small, awkward smile to Liu and began to make your plate. Maybe if you just didn’t look at Kung Lao, you wouldn’t feel so judged. “Well, I’ve been a nurse for the past seven years… But it’s hardly anything to talk about. I just work at a small office. Nothing ever really happens there.”

“That’s an honorable career,” Liu said as he began to eat.

“If nothing happens there, why do you stay? Seems boring,” Lao commented.

“I kinda like boring,” You admitted. “I uh… I used to have real bad anxiety as a kid. Boring is comfortable. Routine.”

“Anxiety?” Lao asked.

“Yeah. It uh… It got so bad that eventually I was scared to leave the house.”

“That’s awful,” Liu said with a frown.

You nodded. It was always hard to talk about your anxiety. But Liu seemed mindful enough to not tease you or make you feel like an idiot. “Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and went to see a doctor. They put me on medication for it. I was a new person after I got used to the meds. Felt like I could breathe again.”

“What made you so anxious that you would be afraid of leaving your house?” Lao asked, harsher in his words. What did you have to worry about compared to him.

“I don’t really know,” you admitted. “I was always teased as a kid. I was the weird kid. Didn’t have a lot of friends.”

“Childhood trauma?” Liu asked.

“Maybe?” You shrugged, not sure. You never really tried to get to the bottom of it.

“Is that where your fear of heights comes from?” Liu asked.

That one you did know. You gave a small laugh as you straightened up a bit. “No. That was me falling out of a tree as a kid.”

“Did you hurt yourself?” Liu asked.

You shook your head. “No. Just some scrapes and bumps. It just kinda stuck with me after that though. Never climbed another tree.”

“Well, at least you weren’t harmed,” Liu said as he ate.

“If you didn’t get hurt, then why were you so scared to climb another tree?” Lao asked.

“I don’t know. Guess it’s one of those weird things that happens when you’re a kid,” You told him.

“You have bigger things to worry about now, than falling from trees,” Lao pressed.

You stared at your plate of food. Lao was right. Scared of climbing trees sure did sound stupid now that you knew about Mortal Kombat. Weird, the idea of Mortal Kombat didn’t freak you out as much as climbing a tree. “Anxiety doesn’t ever really make sense,” You told Lao. “I used to be perfectly fine one minute, then crying and convinced I was about to die the next.”

“Were you being attacked?” Lao asked.

“Not by a person,” You answered.

“Animal?” Liu chimed in, curious.

You shook your head. “Anxiety.”

Lao just stared at you. It didn’t make any sense to him.

Liu was more curious than confused. “So your own mind was attacking you,” he concluded after a moment of thought.

You nodded. “Yeah.” You moved some food around your plate idly. “I know. It makes me sound crazy. But it hasn’t happened in years.”

“Because of the medicine the doctor gave you,” Liu concluded again.

“Right,” you answered.

“So, let me get this straight,” Lao began. “A nervous wreck of a person, who is scared of climbing trees, and has no formal training to fight, has the dragon mark?”

“Yeah, I’m kinda lost on that too,” you admitted.

Lao looked to Liu in disbelief. “Is Lord Raiden out of his mind?”

“I’m sure he knows something we don’t,” Lui told him.

“Mortal Kombat is only a few years away. She won’t be ready!” Lao exclaimed in annoyance.

“We’ll just have to do our best,” Liu answered and lifted some rice to his mouth.

“She’ll have to train every hour, every day, to be even remotely decent,” Lao said.

“Lord Raiden knows what’s best,” Liu said.

“Lord Raiden’s out of his damn mind!” Lao shouted.

You’d gotten used to people talking about you as if you weren’t there when you were a kid. But it hadn’t happened much since then. You set your chopsticks down. “Look, I don’t know if I ever could be ready for Mortal Kombat. I don’t know if I’ll even try. But do you really think it’s a good idea to talk that way about guy who literally shoots lightning out of his hands? And another thing, I am not a nervous wreck of a person!” You looked right at Kung Lao, clearly unamused.

Lao just looked at you, at a loss for words, for what seemed like forever. It was really only a few seconds before he looked to Liu and grinned.

Liu was already grinning, looking at his food.

With a huff, you pushed away from the table. “Sorry, Liu. I think I lost my appetite,” you said, annoyed… Doubting yourself… Still hungry, but you’d had enough of Lao.

Liu looked over with concern as you stood. He set his bowl down and stood with you. He was going to try and convince you to stay, but decided against it. “Would you like me to walk you back to your room?” He asked kindly.

You’d get lost if you didn’t have help. You nodded and turned for the door.

Lao was still grinning as he continued his meal.

Liu quickly joined you in the hallway. “Y/N,” He spoke carefully. “I apologize for Lao’s behavior. He’s not usually like that.”

You sucked in a stiff breath. You shook your head. “No. It’s okay. He’s right. I have no business being here.”

“Don’t let him scare you away. Lord Raiden believes you’re worthy. That’s enough for me. Lao will come around,” Liu said as he began to lead you down the hall.

Maybe. Maybe Raiden did know something you didn’t yet. “The monk I met when I woke up… Feng, I think. He said something about my arcana saving me.”

Liu looked at you, then nodded. “I heard about that. I don’t know the details though…”

“I don’t even remember doing anything,” You said.

After leaving you at your room, Liu returned to Lao. He sat back at the table. Looking to a still grinning Lao. He returned it.

“She has a fire in her,” Lao said.

“She does.” Liu agreed.

“I heard she passed your test,” Lao inquired.

Liu, glancing to him, sipped from his tea, then nodded. “Five times.”

Lao was surprised to hear that. He figured you’d only make it once if at all.

“It took some coaching the first couple times, but by the fourth one she was doing it on her own,” Liu explained.

“Impressive. If her anxiety is as bad as she said, she manages it well,” Lao said.

Liu nodded again. “How much of it was the medicine, I wonder.”

Lao had almost forgot. “Ah. That may be an issue.”

“Withdrawal from it may prove difficult.”

“Meditation training is first on your list,” Lao suspected. He knew how Liu thought.

Liu nodded. “How about yours. Did she pass your test?”

“I would have liked to see more, but it's a start,” Lao answered with a nod.

“You may get your wish if you keep up that act of yours,” Liu said.

“Oh, I intend to.” Lao smirked.

"Don't scare her away," Liu warned.

"She'll stay," Lao said with his mouth full. "She faced her fear five times. She's determined. And a nurse?" He nodded as he took another bite. "She commits herself to helping."

Gimme Shelter - 3

Chapter 3 anyone? Well...here it comes. I hope you enjoy it. If so, please leave me a comment, like or replog. 💜

Previous part -> Nashi’s Masterlist

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.1k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 3: Henry tries to get closer to Kat but there are various obstacles.

Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues and panic attacks, language

No beta! All mistakes are mine. English is not my mother tongue so expect bad grammar and wrong spelling.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly, Eli = Stephen James

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights @sweetlybigdragonn @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @rn7rocks

~~~~~~~~

3

I should've known better than to cheat a friend

And waste the chance that I'd been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you, ohh

Never without your love

From Careless Whisper written by Andrew J. Ridgeley / George Michael

Henry was wrong thinking their conversation was the end of Kat's distant behaviour. Sure, it got better but she was still acting aloof and it was clear as day that she still couldn't see him as a friend. She treated him like a guest. Always polite and friendly but keeping her distance and neutrality. And that was the reason why he was really looking forward to tonight. It was Saturday and they were going to visit the city festival that took place every summer and that was a big event in the little town of St. Ives. Henry, Kat and Sam with his girlfriend Lydia, who was a delicate and very pretty black woman with an astonishing amount of energy, always in a good mood and wearing her heart on her sleeve. Henry immediately got why Kat liked her so much, when he met her for the first time a day after he moved in. She was funny and very smart, a real tough cookie but caring and warm-hearted, too. So it was going to be just the four of them and of course he was hoping for a chance to come a little closer to Kat in the relaxed atmosphere of the public party with some music and drinks. Maybe she was able to loosen up around him there. 

When they arrived the festival was in full swing. The city was crowded with tourists and locals, smiling faces everywhere and the friends were in a good mood, too. Sam and Lydia were standing arm in arm and Kat was sure her brother had finally found his perfect match. She'd never seen him so in love before and she was genuinely happy for him. Henry went to a stall and came back with four glasses of beer, after he had taken a few selfies with some fangirls. Kat was wondering how he felt about this. About the fact that he got recognized although he was in St. Ives to escape all the media hype and all the pressure that it had put on him in the last years but he didn't seem to care. Maybe he's so used to it that it doesn't bother him, Kat thought, or he's just not showing it. "Cheers." Henry said, smiling at them, holding Kat's gaze a little longer than usual which made her nervous. "Cheers." They answered in unison and Kat started to look around. There were various stalls selling all kinds of stuff, from kitsch to unique art and she even spotted some carousels. The band that had been playing was just leaving the stage right in front of the harbour.

"Isn't that Elijah?" Sam nudged her and nodded at a stall a few meters away. 

"Who?" Lydia craned her neck to take a look. "The inked guy?"

"Shit. Yes, that's him." Kat made a face and Henry turned around. There was only one inked guy. He was tall and buff, tattooed from head to toe - literally. He was young, 24 or 25  maybe, and very handsome, Henry had to admit that. Piercing blue eyes, a sharp jawline and high cheekbones, his black hair worn in a stylish undercut, dressed in ripped jeans and a simple white T-shirt.

"This is your fuck boy?" Lydia blurted out. Kat shushed her with an awkward grin. "He was my fuck boy. Past tense."

Henry felt his stomach twist in a strange mix of jealousy, anger and protectiveness.

"Damn, girl. You never mentioned he is that hot. I see why you didn't say no to him."

"Excuse me?" Sam looked at his girlfriend with a frown. "You don't even like tattoos?" Lydia laughed out loud and kissed him. "You're right, baby, he's gross." 

"There he comes." Henry said looking at Kat who rolled her eyes.

"Heaven help." She muttered under her breath.

"Kat, good to see you." Ink guy hugged her before he eyed her up and down. "You look great." 

"Hi. Thanks. You look good too." She smiled at him and there was an awkward pause until she cleared her throat to introduce him.

"Um, yeah, you know my brother Sam and this is his girlfriend Lydia." She pointed at them. "And here we have our new housemate Henry." She nodded at him and Henry flinched. Housemate. Not friend, just housemate.

"Guys, this is Elijah. We used to do Yoga together."

Elijah glanced at her before he put on a lewd smirk. "Yeah, let's call it Yoga." He raised his eyebrows and gave Kat a sexy wink.

"Speaking of which. I really miss our long and intense...Yoga exercises." He grinned. "I think about you a lot to get into the right mood, whenever I do Yoga...all alone. On my own. Almost every night."

Kat raised an eyebrow and returned his flirtatious smile. "I'm sure you don't have problems finding a new Yoga partner."

"No, I don't. I've tried it with a few. But it's hard to find someone as good as you. As flexible and experienced and passionate...about Yoga."

Kat was speechless for a moment and Elijah stepped closer and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Maybe we can do a session tonight."

Kat looked him in the eyes, biting her bottom lip. "Yeah. Maybe. If I'm in the mood for Yoga later."

He grinned. "See you on the dance floor? The DJ's gonna start his show in a few."

"Sure." Kat nodded.

"Great. See ya, guys." He waved at them and strolled away with a swagger that annoyed Henry.

When he was out of earshot Sam laughed out loud.

"Fuck, sis. Did the guy just tell you, you're his wank-rag?"

Kat knitted her brows with an embarrassed grin. "Shut up, okay? I don't wanna hear anything about this. This conversation never happened." She blushed furiously and Henry would have loved to ask her about the story behind all this but he kept his mouth shut. It was none of his business. He was just the housemate.

*****

It took Henry another four glasses of beer to  find the courage to ask her about Mr. Ink anyway.

"So what's going on with you and...Elijah?" Henry faked nonchalance by giving her just a quick glance and a tiny smile.

"Nothing." Kat didn't even look at him. Instead she watched the dancing crowd in front of the stage.

"I see." Henry tried to shrug it off and took another sip of his beer. He knew he shouldn't drink so much but it helped him to loosen up. 

"Do you really think it's good for you to drink so much when you're still on your meds?"

Henry wasn't surprised by her question. She had always taken care of him. She had always been his voice of reason.

"No. Actually I know it's a very bad idea."

"But you do it anyway. Some things never change." Kat turned to him, took his glass out of his hands and replaced it with her glass of coke. He accepted it with a lopsided grin and the look they shared when their hands touched for a second made his heart flutter.

"I had a fling with him last year." Kat finally explained. "We went to the same Yoga class and we started to...well...have sex. It only lasted a two months."

"Why did it end?"

"It got a little out of hand. Eli wanted more than booty calls but I didn't. I just wanted casual fucks…"

Henry looked at her with a frown. Of course she misinterpreted his expression.

"Don't you dare judge me, Cavill…" Her voice was tense.

"I don't judge you, Kat. Casual sex can be great, I know that. I'm just surprised. I mean, you used to be the romantic type…"

"Romance is dead, Henry." She tried to temper her words with a smile but he knew that look that crossed her eyes. A mixture of defiance and sadness, that indicated a topic that worried her though she wouldn't want to talk about it. "Kat…." He touched her arm and she flinched as if his hand was burning her. Kat gave Henry an apologetic smile. Shaking her head she took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I'm fine." The way he looked at her -his head cocked, his gaze intense- made her skin tingle and so she quickly averted her eyes.

She constantly had to remind herself of their conversation a few days ago. She was willing to give it a try, to be friends with him again but she just wasn't able to shake off the past. And the mixed emotions she had just thinking about him weren't helpful as well. She was attracted to him more than she wanted to be and at the same time she couldn't stand being too close to him. Henry opened his mouth to say something but before he was able to do so Lydia took Kat by the hand and dragged her away. "Come on, Kat. Let's dance. I love this song."

Elijah found Kat on the dance floor after just five minutes. She seemed to be hesitant at first about dancing with him but after another five minutes she had given in and now Henry was watching them getting closer with every song, moving to the rhythm, Elijah was holding her very close, rubbing his body against hers and it looked pretty hot.

"The guy's got moves, huh?" Sam nudged Henry with a grin.

"Yeah." He couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"If you're so annoyed by him, why don't you do something about it?"

Henry looked at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you can go on watching them dry humping on the dancefloor with hungry eyes or you can go dance with Kat yourself."

Henry let out a snort.

"I don't think your sister wants to dance with me."

"You'll never know if you don't try."

Henry just grunted and tried to shrug it off but Sam didn't want to let him off the hook.

"Just go and dance with her."

"I don't know."

"Oh come on, Cavill. Don't be such a sissy."

"Where's the point, Sam. She hates me."

Sam shook his head. "She doesn't hate you."

"But she doesn't like me either." Henry wasn't convinced. 

"She likes you more than she dislikes you." Sam replied cryptically. "Now, come on. Go and put this prick in his place." Sam took Henry's glass and gave him a little shove. "Go." Henry stumbled forward. "Go." Sam repeated. Henry rolled his eyes. "Fine. She thinks I'm an idiot anyway. Not a problem if I make a fool of myself."

Henry made his way through the dancing crowd and when he finally stood right beside them Kat noticed him with a surprised smile. She stopped moving and Elijah gave him an angry glance. "Sorry, but I have to cut in." 

"You do?" Kat asked sarcastically. "I do. Sorry, mate." He took Kat's hand and pulled her away from Elijah.

"Fancy a dance?" He indicated a bow and gave her a wink.

Kat grinned and gave Eli an apologetic shrug before turning to Henry again.

"Why not. Show me your moves."

And so they danced. Not as sexy and close as she had danced with Mr. Ink but still. She seemed to be happy and enjoying his company and that was all Henry was asking for. He wasn't the best dancer but it felt okay after the first awkward moments and Kat even touched him from time to time. After the third uptempo song the DJ played a slow track and he pulled Kat closer. She hesitated for a brief moment but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her by her waist. They swayed to the slow music, their bodies not touching but their eyes met and Henry was wondering if Kat's heart was racing as fast as his. 

Kat's heart was indeed racing. So many years ago this had been all she'd ever wished for. To dance with him to a romantic song. To feel his hands on her body. To be close to him. But those teenage dreams belonged to the past. She didn't believe in the idea of everlasting love anymore. She had given up on waiting for 'the one' a long time ago. And even if she had this tiny spark of hope for finding true love remaining in the darkest corners of her mind, it couldn't be Henry, could it? Her heart and mind screamed no. No, woman, he broke your heart. Don't get too close to him. You're going to burn your fingers. Again. He's not the one for you. But her body said yes. Go for it, woman. You're attracted to him. You've yearned for him 22 years, now get what you're craving.

Kat started to panic when Henry's gaze got more and more intense. She felt like drowning in his ocean blue eyes and burning up in his body heat at the same time. She knew that warm, fluttery feeling in her belly that was caused by his smile and his touch too well and she wouldn't let this happen again. He might have tricked her once but she wouldn't let him trick her twice. No fucking way.

Kat let go of his neck and took a step back and he knew their dance was over. Elijah gladly took over again and all Henry could do was to quit the field. 

****

When Kat came home the next morning she found Sam in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Morning. That smells heavenly."

"Morning. Will be done in a minute if you want some."

"I'd love to. I'm starving."

Sam turned around with a smirk.

"Really? No morning-after-breakfast at Elijah's?"

Kat rolled her eyes. "I didn't want to stay any longer, it just makes things awkward."

"I see. Is this going to be a regular thing again? You and your toyboy?"

"No." Kat shook her head. "Definitely not. Where are Lydia and Henry?"

"Lydia has a bad hangover and Henry….well, I guess he's still asleep. He didn't feel well last night." Sam turned around and gave his sister a plate filled with eggs, bacon and a bagel. Kat looked at him with a frown. "How's that? He was fine when I left. Did he drink too much?"

"No, no, he just had water after you scolded him for drinking." Sam winked at her with a grin. Getting serious he sat down and looked at her. "He had some kind of panic attack. Just freaked out…"

"God, Sam. That's awful. What happened?" Kat looked at her brother with a stunned expression on her face.

"I don't really know. It began with some people that recognized him. He took photos with them, it didn't seem to be a problem but then more and more fans came and surrounded him and he did his best to be nice and fulfill all their requests, he signed shirts and took selfies, one girl wanted his signature on her bra, it was crazy and soon got out of hand. I could see the panic in his eyes although he did his best to hide it. He was so polite and kind although a drunk guy, I guess the boyfriend of one of his fans, started to insult him. But at some point his face turned so pale and his hands started to shake, I was afraid he was about to pass out."

"Oh my god." Kat was really worried, Sam could easily tell by the deep frown and the knitted brows. "What did you do?"

"I got him out of there. Lydia calmed down the remaining fans and told them he had the flu or something and we went home."

"What did Henry say? Was it his first panic attack?"

"He didn't say much, didn't really want to talk about it. He went straight to bed. It was horrible, Kat."

"Shit."

"Yeah. I thought I'd bring him breakfast later. Or maybe you want to do it?"

Sam looked at Kat while he was eating a piece of bacon.

"I don't know, Sam."

"He trusts you, Kat."

"You are his friend."

"I'm his mate, that's a difference."

"No, it's quibble. You and him are closer than me and him. Whatever you call it." Kat arched an eyebrow and gave her brother an annoyed glance.

"Oh, come on,you know how it is, Kat. Guys don't talk about emotional stuff like this…"

"Maybe I don't want to talk about emotional stuff with him either."

Sam gave her a knowing look. "Are you afraid you're gonna fall for him again?"

Kat blinked repeatedly, speechless for a moment.

"What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Sam leaned back in his chair. "Look, Kat, I know I was busy with my own love life at school but I wasn't completely blind. I know you were in love with Henry. You always denied it but it was obvious to me. I knew you were lying when you said he's just a friend to you and I know that your friendship ended out of the blue when Hen and Poppy became a thing. So it's not so hard to draw the conclusion that he broke your heart and that you're afraid that history is going to repeat itself."

Kat chewed on her bottom lip but she didn't say a word. She just shrugged and pulled off pieces of her bagel absent minded.

"I think he needs you, Kat. He needs what the two of you had at school. That deep, unconditional kind of friendship. I can't give him that, we're not close enough, but you can."

She looked at Sam with a frown.

"I'm not so sure. It's not that easy. What we had back then is gone."

"I'm sure it's not. It's just buried under your past. You can dig it out."

Kat closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with a deep sigh. "I'm not a therapist."

"Good, because he has a therapist. What he doesn't have is someone who knows him like you do. Someone he can trust."

"Alright. I'll do it. I'm gonna bring him his breakfast and see if he wants to talk but I'm going to blame you if this ends in disaster."

~~~~~~

tbc

Focus Isn’t My Strong Suit

Prompt by @cpaeralricey: Can you do a Kelley x youngersister!reader quarantining together and the reader has to to do School online but struggles cause of their ADHD and just lots of fluff and Kelley helping the crazy kid out. Does that make any sense? If not don’t worry about it.

Note before we start. Sorry if this is terrible, I don’t have ADHD so I don’t really know what it’s like, I tried to make this is fun as possible. Also just for future reference I will no longer be writing Kelley, Alex, or JJ fics. (There will be my final Alex post today, but that’s it).

This royally sucked... like to a whole other level of sucking... does that sound weird? It sounds weird, oh well... whatever. That’s not the point, the point is, I’m stuck doing online school, which normally isn’t that bad, but it all kind of happened all at once.

You see, I’d been flown out to visit Kelley, my older sister, in my spring break which happened to be at the beginning of March. I hadn’t seen her in a long time between her traveling for different teams, and I missed her. I miss all of my siblings honestly. Jerry was off doing business man things, and Erin was off hanging with her besties on some beach somewhere. Kelley was the youngest of my older siblings, but shes 32, I’m 16, big age difference there. I’d been adopted by my family at a young age and so, of course there would be an age difference, but they were family and Kelley and I were close.

Anyway, back to my main point of how much this sucked. The nation went on lockdown literally a week into my stay, I couldn’t leave for the airport or anything and Kelley’s games and trainings were suspended after the SheBelieves cup, even the Olympics were cancelled. So I was stuck, but that wasn’t what sucked, I was with Kelley, that was great, but then came online school.

Online school, for someone like me, is the worst possible option. I struggled with ADHD and paying attention in a normal class, but sitting on my own in a room of distractions would be even worse, I mean... how was I NOT suppose to say dream or cheat on a test?!

Not only that, but I was awaiting my prescription, we had to start ordering it so it shipped to Kelley’s apartment in Utah. So with that going on, we were now in late March and we realized it would be another day before my pills arrives... and I was out.

“Kelley!” I yelled from my bathroom, looking at the empty bottle.

Kelley came rushing in, “What, what is it?!”

“I’m out of meds,” I said hyper focused on the writing on the bottle.

“Oh.... OH WHAT?!” She grabbed the bottle out my hands, shaking the orange container around as if she was trying to summon more pills to her.

“It’s just a day, it won’t be that bad right?” I said and Kelley looked at me with a glare.

“When was the last time you weren’t on your meds?” She asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Uhh, probably before I was diagnosed.”

“So when you were bouncing off the walls?” She asked and I shrugged, walking out the bathroom.

“Look, I have school in like... oh actually I’m late,” I said looking at my phone, it was only 8, but class started at 7:45.

Kelley groaned as I rushed to my laptop, she had moved to the dining table after finding me staring at my ceiling for an entire class, she was fun as a sister, but her feeling of responsibly over me was unbearable.

I logged into the class with my camera off, apologizing for being late and I made up some random excuse. I looked to Kelley who had just walked out of my room, and she rolled her eyes at me and tossed me t-shirt. I muted myself and looked at her confused.

“You forgot to put one on,” she said before I could ask and I looked down at myself realizing she was right, so I begrudgingly pulled in on with a huff.

After my first class, I had my second period, which was a study hall, and I hated it, all I ever did was stare at off into space, which ended up happening this time too. I went through the whole school day, completely unable to focus on anything as I felt my ADHD consume my movements and thoughts.

“Y/N!” Kelley snapped me out of my trance, I realized she sat in front of me, working on something of her own, “Your teacher asked you a question,” she said.

I unmuted myself to apologize before asking her to repeat the question. The one good thing about ADHD was that I often retained large chunks of info if it was interesting enough, so I had the knowledge to answer the question this time.

When I muted myself again I sighed, it was times liked these I hated my condition, it was unbearable and made me miss so much shit.

“You okay Speedster?” A nickname Kelley had gifted me at the age of 4 when I literally couldn’t stop running around, it’s fitting now as I’ve followed in her footsteps and started playing soccer.

“I hate not being able to focus,” I complained and finally, as I said that, the class was over.

“Well,” Kelley started, closing my laptop for me, “Maybe you should walk around or something, get some focus back?” She asked, I sighed again, it was the best idea so far, “I’ll be here if you if you need me.”

I stood up, taking my computer to my room and threw it on the bed. There was no way I could focus on doing yoga or lifting weights, not at all. All I wanted to do was run around, do anything but what I was doing. It was probably about 5 minutes in my room before I rushed out my room, heading to the kitchen to search Kelley’s cabinets.

“What are you doing in there?” Kelley turned after I rummaged for a few minutes.

“Food,” I replied.

“If your hungry I can make you sandwich or something,” she said, looking away from her computer.

“Ughhhhh,” I complained, “A sandwich sounds so boring,” I groaned and she rolled her eyes at me, going back to the meeting she was in.

I left the kitchen, heading back to my room, sitting on my bed feeling restless. I tried writing and reading, I even did some homework, but eventually I got bored again, and I felt antsy. That is, until I found something I could compare to gold.

“No way,” I whispered to myself, pulling two things out from under the guest bed, “This is gonna be so much fun.”

Kelley’s POV

I was worried about Y/N, I knew she would feel bad about her ADHD, usually I’d go distract her, but I was caught in this stupid meeting for another few minutes. I was listening to what my manager was saying amongst the other people there, until something stung me.

I flinched, looking at my arm, then around me and at the floor, finding a... nerf bullet?

There was a click and another one hit my temple this time.

“Ow,” I complained, looking to where I heard giggling.

It was Y/N of course, hiding behind a cardboard cut out of me with a nerf gun reaching around it.

“Y/N, don’t you—“ She shot me again, laughing hysterically, I turned to my computer, “Listen guys, I’m gonna have to go, got something to sort out,” I said and they nodded as I logged off.

Y/N looked at me with a challenge, if this is what she needed to calm down, then I guess a little match wouldn’t be bad.

“It is so on,” I said, reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets.

“WHAT?! You have a nerf gun just sitting in your kitchen?!”

“Never know when it might come in handy,” I shot at her, the bullet sticking itself right in her forehead and she huffed and smiled.

“I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“You wish,” I replied.

Turns out the one round turned into three hours of an intense and heated nerf battle, ending with Y/N surrendering to the couch where sweat fell from her head.

“Alright, alright, you win,” she said exhausted for once and I plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Told you I’d kick your butt,” I said.

“Surrendering doesn’t mean you kicked my butt,” she complained and I laughed.

“How you feeling?” I asked, looking to her now.

“Exhausted for the first time today,” she said with a smile, “Never thought I’d be happy to be tired.”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to a hug, “You know there’s nothing wrong with your ADHD right?” I asked and she shrugged, “If you ever feel bad about it, remember that you can totally start a nerf war and it’s completely justified,” I said and she laughed.

“Thanks Kell.”

“Anytime kiddo.”

There was a pause.

“Do you have food?”

“I knew you wanted something.”

She laughed again and we spent the rest of the night eating and watching movies until we fell into a deep sleep.

Rated T Helen/Sophos, High School AU, based on this post which is literally Sophos Word Count: 2182 * Sophos wasn’t sure how he felt playing a full-contact scrimmage against the girls’ team. It didn’t seem fair. He and a bunch of the other guys were six feet tall, and by the looks of their opponents, some of the girls were a full head shorter than him. He was going to have to be careful. The whistle blew, and the scrimmage started. The next thing Sophos knew he was flat on his back, head pounding as he stared up at his assailant. She was all of five foot nothing and she was smiling down at him with the most stunning smile he had ever seen. “You okay?” she asked after a beat. Sophos realized he had just been staring at her. Fuck. “I’m fine,” he lied. The pain in his head was excruciating. He should have worn his helmet. She extended a hand to help him up. He took it, but was halfway to a seated position when he quickly let go as everything spun around him. He caught himself backwards on his forearms. “So you’re not actually fine,” she said, and turned her head to call over to someone on the side of the field. “Hey, he’s hurt!” “No it’s okay—“ “Too late,” she said sweetly as one of the coaches jogged into view and crouched down over him. By the time Sophos was able to look for the mystery girl again, she was gone.

* Gen drove him to the hospital. Sophos was still thinking about the girl that decked him. “Gen, I think I’m in love.” He was joking. Mostly. Probably. “I think you’re concussed.” That smile was burned in his retinas. “Who was that?” “Who?” Sophos tipped his head back against his headrest to look at Gen. “That girl who tackled me.” Gen wrinkled his nose. “My cousin.” Sophos blinked in surprise. Or maybe confusion. Gen might be right about the concussion. “That’s Helen?” “I thought you weren’t even into girls.” “I’m not usually. Maybe I am?” He shook his head, but that made the headache worse. He groaned. Gen’s head snapped toward him. “Are you okay?” Sophos nearly nodded but caught himself. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just hurts,” he mumbled as Gen pulled into the hospital parking lot. * Sophos was most certainly concussed. His dad was out of town, so Gen had offered to stay with him so his mom didn’t have to drag Ina and Eurydice to the hospital. (This was hardly Sophos’s first minor sports injury). Gen was out getting them snacks when there was a knock at the door. Sophos paused his music and turned his aching head slowly, expecting a nurse, but instead it was the girl who had knocked him down. She was still in her red and black workout clothes. She looked a little embarrassed as she smiled at him. “You’re really pretty,” he said, and she laughed in surprise. He cringed. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. “Sorry.” His cheeks were burning. “Not as sorry as I am. How’s your head?” “It’s fine,” he said, lying again. “Mhm.” She looked amused. “How’d you learn to bodycheck like that? I thought the girls played low contact.” “I have a lot of cousins who make you look tiny. I learned to defend myself. You people tip over too easily.” She tilted her head. “It’s the upside to a low center of gravity. I rarely fall.” “Ah.” He couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Gen should be back from the vending machines in a minute.” “I can wait outside if you—“ “No! No, no. You can stay.” He was blushing again. Just once he would appreciate it if his stupid face wouldn’t work against him. “I’m Sophos, by the way.” “Helen,” she said. She smiled again. She smiled a lot. Which was good, Sophos thought, because her smile was maybe the best thing he’d ever seen in his life, and it was infectious. He smiled back at her, and then realized he was smiling for too long again. He was frantically looking for something to say when— “Hey, Helen,” Gen said, briefly wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he passed by her. He dropped into the chair beside the bed and threw a pack of chips at Sophos. “Eat.” While Gen ripped open a bag of gummy worms with his teeth, Sophos slowly opened his bag of chips, glad for the distraction. Sophos dropped a chip into his mouth and let it melt on his tongue, swallowing just as slowly. His eyes were closed when he heard the rustle of a bag and then Gen hissing, “Get your own!” Sophos opened his eyes to see Helen leaning over Gen, wrestling the bag of candy away from him while Gen curled up like a cat around his clutching hand. “Hah!” Helen, bag gripped in her first, winced as she turned to Sophos. “Sorry.” But Sophos was too busy laughing at Gen to be bothered by the noise. “It’s no problem,” he said to Helen. “Do you want some chips with your worms?” She grinned. “Thanks.” She held out the bag of gummy worms. “Trade you for some of these.” “I hate you both,” Gen said. Helen, who was sitting on the arm of Gen’s chair now, looked down at him. He had his head tipped back against the wall. “Irene asked about you, by the way.” Gen’s head swung down so fast so fast Sophos was surprised he didn’t tweak his neck. “When?” “After practice.” Sophos watched Gen’s face contort as he tried not to look excited. “Cool,” he said. Helen snorted. “You should text her.” “Yeah, maybe, we’ll see,” Gen said, but Sophos saw him slip his phone out of his pocket when Helen looked back at Sophos. “What’re you listening to?” “The Mountain Goats. Do you like them?” “I haven’t heard of them.” “It’s because she has bad taste,” Gen said from his chair. Ignoring him, Sophos wiped his hands down on the blanket and pulled out his earbuds. “Here, listen.” She moved to stand next to him and took the headphones. Sophos hit play on “Up The Wolves” for her and watched her face as she listened. At some point, she sat down on the edge of his bed, and he felt his face go warm. He couldn’t tell if she was enjoying it, and the 42 seconds left on the song were nerve wracking. He paused it before it went to the next track. “They’re good!” “I like them,” he said. Gods, he was so stupid. Why could he not think of a single coherent thing to say? “Helen’s music taste is trash. All she listens to is ABBA.” Helen rolled her eyes and turned to look at Gen, but she didn’t move off of the bed. “Sorry, Gen, we can’t all exclusively listen to sad bastard music like the Arctic Monkeys.” “Hey, what’s wrong with the Arctic Monkeys?” She turned back to Sophos and laughed. “Nothing, they’re just a little mopey. I’m sure the two of you are kindred spirits,” she said, looking between Gen and Sophos. Sophos blushed. “Play me an ABBA song?” “Sure.” She pulled out her phone and scrolled. Sophos waited, doing his best not to read her screen, for the sake of her privacy but mostly because his head throbbed if he tried to strain his eyes. Helen hit play and the music poured out from her tiny phone speaker. Sophos closed his eyes, listening to “Mamma Mia.” They had hit the chorus when Gen’s voice made him open his eyes. “Hello? Hi. No, no, I can talk,” Gen said into his phone, jumping up and walking out of the room without so much as a wave at the other occupants. Sophos looked at Helen in confusion. “Irene hates texting,” she explained. Sophos smiled. Gen had only been at the scrimmage under the weak pretense of hanging out with Sophos afterward—Sophos had known it had been to watch Irene play. Helen slipped off the bed into Gen’s recently occupied seat. Sophos was sad to lose her proximity and her warmth. “Can we listen to ‘Take A Chance On Me’ next?” She looked pleasantly surprised. “Yeah sure.” Helen hit play and Sophos shut his eyes again. They got through three songs in silence before Sophos realized that she might be staying with him out of obligation. “Hey uh, you can go. I mean. You don’t have to stay here with me. I’ll be fine till Gen gets back.” If Gen came back. “Oh.” She narrowed her eyes. “Do you want me to go?” He shook his head hard, realizing too late his mistake. “ Fuck,” he said, grabbing his forehead, and Helen hissed. “Are you—“ “I’m fine,” he said, waving his free hand. “Okay, I’m gonna—“ “You can stay,” Sophos blurted out. He really didn’t want her to go. She opened and closed her mouth and then smiled. “I was just going to get some more snacks from the vending machine. Do you want anything? My treat.” “There’s no ice cream machine is there? That’s what I really want.” “I’ll go check. What do you want if I find one?” “Chocolate anything.” She was gone ten minutes, long enough that Sophos started to worry she wouldn’t come back. When she reappeared in the doorway clutching a bunch of colorful bags, it made his heart clench for the third time that day. “No luck on the ice cream,” she said walking toward him, “but I did get three types of chocolate.” She held up a bag of peanut M&Ms, peanut butter cups, and a candy bar. “What do you want?” Sophos considered. “A little of everything?” “Sure. Scoot,” she said, nodding with her head for him to move over. She sat down next to him again and a thrill shot through him. Ripping open the bags of candy, she asked, “How long have you been playing lacrosse?” He held out his hand for her to pour the M&Ms into his palm. “Just a couple of years. You?” “Since I was three and my cousins tried to use me as a ball.” Sophos laughed so hard he cried. They ate the rest of the candy, talking about music and movies and trading embarrassing stories about Gen. It wasn’t until the doctors came by to discharge him that Sophos realized his head was feeling better. He’d been so distracted talking to Helen he hadn’t noticed that the meds had kicked in. The doctor handed him his discharge paperwork. “Is your girlfriend driving you home?” “Oh, she’s not—” “Yeah, we’ve got him covered,” Helen said. “Great. Please wear your helmet next time,” the doctor pleaded. Sophos, still blushing, said, “I will.” Gen still hadn’t come back. Helen texted him as they made their way to the parking lot, but when they exited the building they found him sitting cross legged on top of his car, still on the phone with Irene. He waved at them and started to climb down from the roof, but he didn’t hang up. “Do you mind if I drove you home?” Helen whispered. “Oh…that’s really nice of you,“ Sophos said. Mind wasn’t exactly the word he’d use. “Honestly I just can’t deal with any more of Gen or Irene’s weird, subtle hints about the other. If it gets them to shut up and get together I’ll drive you across the country.” Sophos laughed, feeling light as air, and followed her to her car. * “How’s your head?” she asked. They’d been parked in his driveway for an hour, talking and listening to ABBA. “Better.” It wasn’t a lie this time. “Do you have a bump?” she asked, leaning into his space to feel the back of his head. His chest fluttered. “Oh you sure do.” She scratched his hair and he leaned his head back into it. When she pulled back her arm, it was to grimace at the time. “Ah, I really need to get home.” “Oh, of course. Um, thanks for keeping me company today.” “I put you in the hospital, it was the least I could do.” She grinned. He smiled back. Reaching for an excuse to talk to her again, he pointed at the stereo panel lit up with “Souper Trouper.” “Will you send me this playlist?” “Definitely. Give me your number.” * Sophos woke up feeling marginally less like shit and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He remembered his night and felt the bump on his head, thinking of Helen. He was pretty sure he’d never been this into someone before and he’d only known her for like twelve hours. That might be a record for him. He had 12 text messages, which turned out to mostly be from teammates, but there was one that made his heart leap. It was a link to a playlist, and below it, a message that said: Playlist as promised. Sorry again about the concussion. I owe you ice cream. Cow Eyed Creamery tomorrow at 8? Looking like the �� emoji even as he answered, he shot back, Sounds great.

A Cat's Falling From the Sky?!

Day 15 & 27

@daminette-december2019-2020

Masterlist

Warning, contains bad parents Tom and Sabine

Loss, Failure, and falling were all that was in Marinette's thoughts. Loss, she had to count her losses all because no one believed her. Because she wasn't good enough. Failure, she had failed to show people the truth because she was blind. Because she was naive. And falling, she was falling, both literally and figuratively. Figuratively because she was losing a battle inside her. A battle whether she was worthy of the miraculous or not. Literally, because she was falling. Using the cat miraculous, she had asked Kaalki to take her away. Away from the pain, the hurt the constant abuse. She didn't expect to fall from the sky as she walked into the portal. She was really tired, she had just finished the final battle, switching between both creation and destruction miraculous.

She felt her consciousness slip from her and her life flashes before her eyes. 'At least I did good with my life', she thought bitterly. She tried to reach for the baton on her back but she was simply worn out. She figured it was best to at least try to brace herself for impact before she passed out. But instead of hitting the ground, she felt herself getting caught by a strong pair of arms and heard a small whisper, but she couldn't make out just what. She drifted off unconscious soon after.

The patrol was easy tonight. A few muggings here and there but it was handled quickly. Damian thought the night would end like this, peaceful. That is until Red Hood said something through the comms. "Yo, B?" the anti-hero said, "There's a cat falling from the sky, a person. It's a person. Looks like she's already only half conscious." "Catch her, then we can question her in the cave.

Red Hood rushed over to and caught the girl, "You alright Ms?" She was already unconscious. Red Hood carried her to the cave but he was quite surprised by how light she is. When he reached the cave the others were already waiting and her earrings started beeping apparently. He walked to the med bay and laid the girl down. The beeping quickened and soon green light envelopes the girl leaving just a normal girl lying on the bed. Alfred however, thought otherwise. When the light had taken over her body, Alfred had came to the conclusion that the girl wore the black cat miraculi which means the girl wields great power. Nothing however could prepare him to see who exactly was this girl.

Alfred couldn't mask his shock, it was his beloved goddaughter. Marinette now 17 years old was laying on the on the med bay bed. "Alfred?" Bruce's voice snapped him out of his shocked state, "Anything a problem?" "None Master Bruce," he answered, "I just wasn't expecting my goddaughter to be someone chosen to wield a miraculi nor that she would fall from the sky." Alfred started to check her pulse and breathing as Bruce along with the boys, excluding Dick who was fangirling and Damian who was still changing, stood frozen at his answer.

"You never told us you had a goddaughter," Bruce finally said. "I didn't see the need to, Master Bruce," Alfred stated simply and watched as Marinette's eyes started to flutter. He put his hand over hers as her eyes opened. "Parrain?" she slurred a bit. "Oui mon cher," he replied before giving the girl a hug. "What happened?" she asked switching to English.

"You fell from the sky apparently," Tim answered. "Oh," she said, "Kaalki? How did the portal end up in the sky?" A horselike creature came out and said, "It looks like I got the coordinates wrong guardian, I'm sorry," the kwami said. "It's alright Kaalki," she put her hands out for her, "We were all tired yesterday." "To the brink of exhaustion actually," Alfred said, "Your muscles are really weak." "I'm fine," she said but the yawn that escaped betrayed her. At that moment Damian had entered and saw her. The girl's hair was disheveled but that had somehow made Damian blush. "You can stay here for the time being," Bruce said. "Don't you go adopting her, Bruce," Dick said, "We all know your little adoption problem." The group laughed and Damian frowned at the thought of having her as a sister.

"I wouldn't want to impose, Monsieur..." she paused, "I'm sorry but it seems I have forgotten to ask for your name, I'm Marinette, Marinette Dupain-Cheng." She stuck her hand out to shake his. "Bruce Wayne, but please call me Bruce." The girl nodded but before she could continue her previous sentence Alfred cut her off, "Marinette, I know you came here via miraculi and as much as I'd love to have you here, I must ask won't your parents notice?"

"They won't," she replied sadly, "They kicked me out, Parrain." Tears were forming in her eyes as she remembered how her parents had believed Lila instead of her. "Ok then, Master Bruce?" Alfred turned to face him, "Would you mind keeping her company?" Bruce nodded and Alfred walked out the door with the boys behind. Damian could only hope his father doesn't adopt the girl. 'I want her to join the family another way.'

875 words

Ckfkwpqlqndlwmskandie, I'm so so sorry, my parents surprised me that we were going out for the day and couldn't get connected to the Internet. And I know I haven't posted' The School's Anti-Hero' because I apparently forgot to write down the draft and my stupid brain forgot what it was. I may do a part 2 of this.

XOXO

~𝓔𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓷

@miraculouslydumb @mialuvscats @bumblebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee @guessmyname17

Skate Into My Heart

Chapter Three; Uh oh

BESTIES

I'M ALIVE AND I DID THE WRITING THING

@ciaraloves (or @perseusjackson-jasongrace ig) LOOK AT ME DOING THE THING

As soon as Nico left the locker room, Piper pounced on him. Literally.

He was forced to take a step back and caught her by the shoulders, “What’s up?”

She was practically vibrating with excitement, “Annabeth’s back!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Come on!” She grabbed his hand and yanked him through the hallways and into the main rink where a crowd of people had formed next to the bleachers.

It was the rest of the team and in the center was Annabeth, a duffle bag slung over one shoulder, looking exhausted as all hell but she was grinning as the team peppered her with questions and play-by-plays of the practices she’d missed.

Piper shouldered them into the center so Nico was directly in front of Annabeth, Piper on one side and Calypso on the other.

“Hey, Nico,” Annabeth said, still grinning. She stepped forward for a hug and he let her, burying his face into her neck and breathing, already feeling the responsibility leaking from his tight shoulders. Annabeth was like a big sister to him, not that he’d ever admit that, but still.

“You want to get out?” Nico whispered into her neck.

“Yes,” She whispered back emphatically. Nico could barely stop himself from laughing but as they pulled apart he saw the genuine relief in her eyes and felt himself worrying. He needed to talk to her, about the team and skating, about Will and of course, if she needed to talk about why she’d been gone for so long, he’d do that too.

Apparently, Calypso recognized that too and, bless her heart, muttered something to Leo, and together they captured the team’s attention, allowing Nico to tug Annabeth away from the crowd and out of the rink. She sighed as soon as they were ejected onto the city streets. Nico stuck an arm out and she smiled and linked their arms.

“Where are you headed?” Nico asked as they walked the short distance to the car garage.

“Oh, probably just my apartment.”

Nico nodded, “I wasn’t sure if you’d be staying with your dad or not.”

She shook her head, “He doesn’t even know I landed yet. I’ll head over in the morning.”

Her voice was stiff and Nico took that as his cue to change the subject. “So I have something to confide in you.”

She perked up almost immediately and he swallowed hard. But she just looked at him with those gray eyes and he reminded himself that this was Annabeth. That she wasn’t going to get angry with him.

At least, he hoped not.

“I’m talking to one of the hockey players,” He said casually.

Her grip on his arm stiffened and he braced himself but she was still just looking at him.

Finally, she grinned, “So when you say ‘talking to’...”

He groaned and felt himself flush, “Oh, shut up! Just friends.”

She hummed and released his arm to dig for her keys in her jacket pocket. “Is he nice?”

“No, he’s a dick,” Nico said sarcastically.

Annabeth rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “I don’t know why I even bother.”

“He’s blonde,” Nico offered.

“Oooh,” Annabeth drawled.

He rolled his eyes and she burst out laughing, her voice echoing off the stone walls of the parking garage.

“Is he gay?” Annabeth asked.

Nico nearly flinched and passed it off with another eye roll, “I don’t know, Annie, that’s not something that’s come up in casual conversation.”

She glared at him and Nico, being the mature adult he is, stuck his tongue out at her. She did it back then shook her head. “Too much time with Percy,” She muttered and Nico snorted. She grinned at him.

“So he’s okay?”

That sobered her immediately. “Yeah. Well, as okay as he can be. I’m only here for like two weeks because he insisted I come back, but I’m leaving as soon as possible,” She glanced sideways at him, “Not to leave you alone again, though.”

He shrugged off the flash of selfish hurt he’d felt, “I’m good, Beth.” But he wasn’t good. He’d just told her about Will, and not even the start of the way his stomach would twist when he saw a new text from the hockey player and not the same twist when he panicked. And that also meant his chances of performing solo again were climbing. He didn’t know how to feel about that part.

“Stop that!” She exclaimed, halting once they’d reached her car.

“Get some sleep, Annabeth,” He said genuinely then smirked a little, “It looks like you need it.”

She threw a balled-up receipt she’d found in her bag at him, “Dick!”

~~~~

“Hey, Nico.”

Nico nearly leaped out of his skin, spinning to see Persephone in the living room.

She snorted, “Didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. Did practice go well?”

His phone buzzed in his pocket, “Yeah. Annabeth’s back.”

Persephone hummed, reaching up to untwist her hair, sending it cascading down her shoulders, “That’s good. I know you’ve missed her,” She said with a knowing look in her eyes that made him shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah, definitely, um, I’m tired we learned some new moves for Regionals today, so,”

“Yeah of course.” She was still smiling.

“‘Night Persephone,”

~~~

Nico flopped face-down onto his bed with a groan. He knew Persephone though he had a crush on Annabeth; he didn’t blame her, he’d never really made it a point that he didn’t. He wished he could come out to her and his dad, he didn’t really have a reason why he hadn’t besides the weight of anxiety on his lungs.

His phone buzzed again, and he wriggled upright to yank it out of his pocket.

Will: Distract me

Will: My mom is driving me insane

Nico grinned to himself, both of them were dealing with mommy issues at the moment.

Nico: idk how you expect me to distract you

Will: Just tell me about snakes or smth

Nico: you think i just have fun facts about snakes on hand?

Will: Yeah?

Nico: good

Nico: cause i do

Will: :)

Nico: snakes can slither 12.5 mph

Will: Good lord

Nico: snakes have internal ears but not external ones

Will: ??

Nico: they can’t create their own body heat which is why theyre in the sun all the time

Will: Hmmmm

Nico: they smell w/their tongues

Will: I thought they had nostrils??

Nico: they do

Will: what

Nico: it’s their Jacobson’s organ my dude it works in mysterious ways

Nico: not really but yk

Nico: sCieNcE

Will: ok….

Nico: if you get bored of snakes i’ve also got a bunch of random cheetah facts

Nico: i love cheetahs

Nico: very cool

Nico: fast cats

Will: Lmao go ahead

Nico: but first

Nico: why’s your mom driving you insane

Nico: if you want to tell me ofc

Nico: not trying to be weird

Will: Nah you’re fine

Will: She wants me to focus entirely on med school and not hockey

Will: She’s trying to get me out of it, actually

Will: Do something ‘respectable’

Will: Not turn out like my dad

Will: Even though dad has literally NOTHING to do with hockey

Will: And in my opinion he’s not bad. Not great. Not awful yk

Will: But hockey’s what’s putting me through med school so

Will: Gods, I really just burdened you with that I’m so sorry

Nico: med school huh

Nico: now i can say i know a doctor

Will: In training

Nico: close enough

Nico: you’re a great hockey player and you're going to be a great doctor

Nico: and you can always talk to me, will

Nico: you’re not burdening me with shit

Will: thanks <3

Nico didn’t understand why he blushed. It was a goddamn emoji. Calm down, Di Angelo.

Will: So we’ve been talking for a few weeks now. Can I call you my friend yet?

Nico snorted, feeling like he was fifteen again, sprawled on his bed, in the dark (because for some reason he didn’t turn his lights on) late at night, texting his- well, anyway.

Nico: yea dumbass

Nico: we’re friends

Will: Nice

Will: Now give me cheetah facts you adorable nerd

~~~

WILL

“Will? You good?”

Will blinked, Jason coming in to focus in front of him. “Uh, yeah.”

“That was believable,” Clarisse said sarcastically from behind Jason.

Will attempted to shake the fog from his head, “Yes,” He repeated.

Jason just blinked at him and Will was formulating an excuse for why he was so tired besides the fact that he’d spent all night talking to a cute figure skater with a ridiculous amount of animal facts stored in his small body when Coach Hedge’s voice boomed from his seat on the bleachers, “Solace! You alive?”

“Yes, coach!” Will shot back.

“Then why are you just standing there? Get back to the game! You too, La Rue and Grace!”

“Yes, sir!” They all barked back.

Clarisse gave him a once over before skating back to her goal and Jason went over to Will’s spot with him, “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

Jason opened his mouth, probably to question why the mom friend of their group was tired enough he nearly tripped over his stick but Will just said, “It��s fine, Jase. It’s not a big deal.”

“Grace!” Coach Hedge screeched.

Jason gave up on trying to interrogate Will and skated back over to his spot.

~~~~

“Mama, please,” Will tried, but his mother cut him off.

“Willaim. Hush. How’s that girl you said you were dating?”

What?

He was silent for a beat too long.

“Oh, baby,” His mother’s thick southern accent drenched her words. “You broke up? I’m so sorry.”

Oh gods, Lou Ellen Blackstone.

Will and Lou Ellen had dated for two months a long time ago, and when they were still dating he’d told his mother about her to get her to back off of his personal life a little. Their break up hadn’t had a huge fallout, Lou Ellen had told him through tears in his living room that she was aromantic. They were still friends, had been even before they dated, actually, and talked to each other pretty regularly.

But the problem was, that had been three months ago, and he hadn’t told his mother about their breakup. He knew she’d ask why, and he didn’t want to out Lou Ellen or make her a devil in his mother’s eyes. So he’d procrastinated coming up with a reason until he’d forgotten about it entirely.

And now it had come back to bite him in the ass.

“Yeah we broke up a little while ago,” He forced himself to sound choked up, which wasn’t hard, giving the way his panicked brain was now sprinting in circles on his lungs. “I just didn’t disappoint you.” Probably the most honest thing he’d said in weeks, but that’ll be unpacked later.

“Honey,” She sighed sadly and Will didn’t know whether or not that was on his behalf or hers.

“Well, it’s okay, because I’m dating someone new.”

“Oh?” He could hear her spine straighten. “Is it someone I know?”

No, mom, it’s not one of the country girls I grew up with.

“No,” He winced at how southern he sounded. He’d been talking to his mother for five minutes. “You don’t know him.”

HIM. Good Gods, Will. Yeah, you came out as bi to your mom, but still, you haven’t actually mentioned a guy to her yet.

She was silent for so long his heart joined his brain in the track meet happening on top of his lungs. “What’s his name?”

He was so she’d spoken that he blurted, “Nico.”

What. The. Fuck. Willaim.

Apparently, his heart had won that damn track race.

“Well, what I was leading up to before you told me about what happened,”

Will hummed non-committally, trying not to sound like he was taking relieved breaths as she spoke.

“The family’s come for a reunion and you should bring that boy!” Will choked on his spit.

“Mom, I don’t know about-”

“No, William. There isn’t a set date yet so we can work around your schedule,” Fuck. “I insist, Will. I need to meet this boy you clearly like very much, even though all you’ve said is his name, a mother knows.”

Umm, what.

“Sure,” Will said, sounding a little strangled. “But we have a game this weekend.”

“Alright, William.” She sounded the way she always did when he brought up hockey. “But as I said, we can work around your schedule and his. Talk to him about it, and let me know.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Will repeated. “I’ll do that.”

She hung up and he was left staring at the wilting daisies at his kitchen table.

What had he just done?

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, angst, physical injury.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: Reader continues to struggle with her abilities, but with some help, she finally begins to understand them better. Though, no good news without bad ones too...

(Is this GIF yours? Let me know, and I’ll credit you!)

Chapter 21

  The next morning you woke up in a secure room. They didn’t trust you with med-chambers anymore. That was probably about time.   Tuesday. Today was Tuesday. You sighed as you wondered just how long it would take before you’d inevitably mess up the days again.   You already missed waking up to Amaire’s brisk and energetic ‘Good morning, champ’. They were so good at using just the right level of enthusiasm to give you a boost, without stepping over into overly energetic, or annoyingly chipper.   Here, there were no lovable nurses, no doctors checking on you every hour, just sensors in the walls that continuously scanned you for changes in energy-levels.   Unfortunately, though, the science division had been kept up to date on your move, and within five minutes of you waking up, the door opened and another fucking piece of cardboard was shoved in your face.

  “Seriously? Do you people even sleep? It’s not even 6am yet…”

  “We sleep in shifts, miss. This is important, we want to get you that assessment as soon as possible.”

  Oh, great, now you felt bad for being snarky, on top of your usual less than stellar morning mood.

  “How thoughtful of you. And what about making this shit actually edible? Any idea how soon that might become a priority?”

  “Uh… sorry, miss. It’s a process.”

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed. Does the recipe actually change at all? Because it still tastes like something between paper and dirt, no matter how many times I eat it.”

  “It does, but they actually remove as much flavour as they can, since it’s so full of synthetic materials.”

  You raised your eyebrows at him before swallowing the synthetic piece of crap.

  “Sorry I fucking asked.”

  He squirmed a little where he stood, clearly uncomfortable with your language. But you were pretty sure he’d actually been waiting outside the door for you to wake up, and then not even had the decency to wait until you’d been to the bathroom before barging in. So, you didn’t really give a fuck about his feelings right then.

  “What?”

  “Sorry, I just have to ask if you feel any sense of fullness?”

  “I’ve barely swallowed it…”

  “I know, it’s just that the effect should be pretty instantaneous.”

  “Well, then – it isn’t. Can I go and do my morning bathroom now, or do you have another annoying and useless point?”

  He all but ran from the room and you felt a tiny little bit bad for him. But they really should know better than to bother you first thing in the morning, by now. Especially with nervous tweens.

  You missed the relative warmth of the med-chambers. These rooms were literally just empty squares of powers-proof materials, or, as close to it as you could get. There wasn’t actually any material that was 100% proof against powers, but some metals combined with force-fields could withstand incredible amounts of supernatural forces.   There was a simple bed, and two chairs and a table, all of it made with the same power-resistant metal. That was it.   And while you did see the wisdom of keeping you in there, it also felt more like a prison than anything else, and it made you anxious. Especially since Marcus was still on single supervised visits.   He’d been verbally reprimanded for taking you to the in-house restaurant, and sitting you down among dozens of other guests yesterday, but in these circumstances that was like getting a slap on the wrist. You hadn’t really been in any state to be able to harm anyone, since he practically had to carry you there. And he’d made the judgement call that getting nutrition into you was more important than keeping you isolated, at that particular moment.   He’d sat with you while you’d gone through the equivalent of about six dinners, continually refilling your plate as you emptied it, until you’d finally had enough, and damned near fallen asleep over your plate.   You didn’t expect him to visit until school was out for the day, so you prepared yourself for a long and dull morning, probably accompanied by nothing but the fucking science division.   Oh, joy.

  It was just before lunch that the door opened for the fourth time that morning. You were just completing your eight set of push-ups, burpees and hand-stands, and you were in no mood for more synthetic foods. Today was the kind of day where your morning mood just lingered, and became your overall mood.   You were pushing yourself physically in an effort to keep yourself calm and balanced, despite the boredom and interjecting annoyances, but it wasn’t quite working.

  “Did some idiot give you coffee?”

  You actually warmed at the sound of Anita’s sharp voice behind you, and you let your legs fall down from your last hand-stand and stood up to see her magnificent scowl.

  “I wouldn’t put it past them.”

  “Well, sit down before you pass out.”

  “I’d rather stand. I have a little too much energy at the moment.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  “I generally do. So, what brings you to my dungeon on this unremarkable Tuesday?”

  “Just checking on you for Marcus. He’s a bit worried after yesterday.”

  “Yeah… that wasn’t a very good day, either. I don’t seem to have a lot of those lately.”

  “Mm. It’ll get better. All supers struggle after discovering their powers, it’s just that, usually, they’re kids or teenagers which means they don’t have the grown-up problems to worry about too. You’re juggling a lot, loco. Give yourself a break.”

  “Wow. Marcus must be really worried if you’re actually being nice to me.”

  “I’m always nice to you.”

  You looked at her with a mockingly shocked expression.

  “Incredible. You’re lucky I kinda love you.”

  She squirmed and got up to leave, and you couldn’t help but grin widely behind her back.

  “You’re welcome, by the way.”

  “For what? The privilege of your visit?”

  “No, niña. For the smile on your face right now.”

  She didn’t even look back as she said it, somehow still knowing the smile was there. It lingered on your face for a good few minutes after she left.

  You gave up on trying to exercise your stress away, after your arms gave out and you fell on your face, during your fifteenth set of hand-stands.   You did have an actual bathroom, with a shower. But it was an adjoining room that could be detached from the actual cell, if anyone feared you might try to use the toilet as a battering-ram for some reason.   You took a long and soothing shower, letting the soap wash away the sweat and grime, but also some of the nervousness that seemed to live in your skin. You took some time to take care of your nails and put on creams and blow-dry your hair.   You hadn’t taken the time to really groom yourself in weeks, and it somehow made you feel better. Less chaotic and messy.   When you stepped out of the bathroom, the errand-boy from science was back, and whatever good mood you’d managed to accumulate, evaporated in an instant.

  “Oh, for the love of fucking Hades, will you just leave me alone, already!”

  A puff of energy escaped you, and it was enough to fling the scrawny little boy across the room and into the wall, head-first.   All the anger inside you morphed into a lump of ice in your heart, as you watched him collapse into a pile on the floor.   You ran over to him and picked him up into your arms, holding him tightly as you pushed your energy around him, and felt that thing leave you. That thing that wanted to make it right, to make him whole again, and in the next moment; he was.   You felt him twitch back to life, and your own energy drain, but you kept holding him.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, I swear, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.”

  “Uh… it’s okay, miss. I’m fine.”

  You let him go just enough that you could grab his face and look into his eyes to make sure.

  “Nothing hurts? Nothing feels bad, or weird?”

  “I feel… great. My shoulder’s been killing me after a baseball accident last week, but it’s all better now. How’d you do that?”

  Suddenly terrified of how easily and effortlessly, you’d hurt this boy, for no reason, you crawled away from him.

  “Go. Get out of here. Don’t come back, don’t let anyone come back in. Stay away from me.”

  You crawled all the way to the opposite wall, before the fatigue overpowered you, and you passed out.

  When you came to, you’d been moved.   You were on a hard bed of some sort, in what looked like a lab, and there was an elliptic-shaped, transparent dome covering most of your torso, as well as two thin tubes leading into each one of your arms, and another two into each leg. IV-tubes. And the banana-bags they were attached to where in the gallons- not ounces -category.

  “What… what are you doing? It’s not safe… you have to put me back, it’s not safe…”

  “Calm down, miss. Everything’s fine, these instruments have been calibrated to absorb your energy, you can’t hurt us here.”

  Her voice was soothing, comfortable without feeling forced.

  “My name is Doctor Emily Kane, and you’re in the Research division right now. We’ve decided to go ahead and do your assessment. For the moment, it seems more urgent to understand your abilities, than keeping your energy up. That said, we’re not going to push you until you’re completely drained, don’t worry. We’ve taken as much precaution as we can.”

  “I… I think I killed that boy…”

  “And then you saved him. It was an accident, and I understand that it frightens you, but the key to controlling your powers in the future, is precisely by not being afraid of them. And the best way to reach that point, is to understand as much about them as you can.”

  She met your eyes and held your gaze until you nodded.

  “Okay. Then let’s get started. This machine on top of you is going to absorb and measure and categorise your energy, so I want you to try and activate your power right now.”

  You took a few deep breaths, and tried to push your energy out, but it wouldn’t come. Your fear had locked it down, and you wanted it to stay down. Forever.   After twenty minutes of failed attempts, no matter how much the good doctor tried to either soothe your worries, or antagonise you, she finally had to admit defeat and was forced to change tactics.

  “Okay, this isn’t gonna work. Bring him in.”

  The door opened and Marcus stepped in, and came towards you, and every piece of equipment in there that was attached to you, started beeping and moving.

  “Marcus… you shouldn’t be here.”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. You won’t hurt me.”

  “I don’t know that.”

  “But I do.”

  He kissed you, really kissed you, and the machines went crazy as you heated up for him. You wanted to touch him so badly, but your arms were trapped by the elliptic dome on top of you. Your ghost hands found him, curling into his hair and holding him to you, and all the while the room got louder and louder.   The frustration of not being able to feel his skin against your body, eventually made you angry. Angry enough that your energy flared, and the dome really did absorb it.   Somehow, that was a big enough surprise to you to break through your lust, and make you pull away from Marcus to stare at the dome while you shot another burst of energy through it.   It just disappeared from you as the machine sucked it up, and for reasons you couldn’t understand; it all seemed like a challenge to you. Like it was baiting you to try harder.

  Challenge accepted, Data.

  In your periphery, you saw Marcus back away, as you held back and gathered your energy under your skin. You had broken an entire med-chamber by filling the room with an invisible density, you’d certainly be able to break one little machine.   When the energy was so thick under your skin that you feared you might burst from the pressure, you released it. The whole room shook, but only for a moment, and then the dome had swallowed it all up.

  “Amazing…”

  Dr. Kane’s voice broke into your concentration, and you forgot your challenge.

  “I’ve never seen this type of energy before. It seems to exist in several dimensions simultaneously. Fascinating.”

  “Dimensions? Wait, it really is ghost energy?”

  She chuckled slightly at that.

  “I guess you could call it that.”

  “So, what does that mean?”

  “Well, we’ll have to perform more tests, obviously. But, basically, it means that you have the ability to tap into one or more alternate dimensions, and draw energy from them, into this one, using your own body as a conduit. It also means that there’s theoretically no limit to how much power you could wield, with the exception that acting as a conduit is seriously draining on your own body. So, let me be clear: your power absolutely can kill you.”

  You took a minute to absorb that, not that you actually could yet, and you felt, more than saw, Marcus shift nervously at your side.

  “And the healing?”

  “That one I can’t answer with any definity until we’ve had a chance to observe it through these instruments.”

  “But… your best guess?”

  “My best guess would be that that power actually comes from you, not some other dimension. It seems to be a clean transference, your energy and life-force is transferred to the injured person, instantly weakening yourself, much more than acting as a conduit does – but also instantly healing the recipient. It’s interesting that you’d develop these two powers specifically, though. It seems to indicate that you have a naturally self-sacrificial tendency.”

  Marcus flinched.

  “Self-sacrificial?”

  “Yes. A willingness and capability to take on difficult or even impossible tasks and burdens in order to protect others, regardless of personal pain or even the possibility of death.”

  That was a little too true for comfort.

  “And… while we’re on the subject of things that are less than fun to talk about, I feel obligated to inform you about something we’ve discovered about healing abilities in general.”

  “Okay.”

  There was something in her tone that made you feel like running out of the room.

  “We don’t know why, exactly, but it seems that women with healing abilities of any kind have an increased difficulty in conceiving children. We think that it might have to do with the fact that women bleed during their cycles and that their abilities instinctively try to prevent it, thereby messing with the natural order of the female body.”

  “But… I can’t heal myself.”

  “It doesn’t seem to matter. Have your cycles been regular?”

  “…No… not since the experiment. I figured it was because of the coma, since nothing at all worked during the time I was under, and for a while afterwards.”

  “Irregularity is one of the tell-tale signs, I’m afraid. But, listen, this is not an exact science. Couples that have been medically declared infertile or sterile have managed to get pregnant anyway. Nature’s amazing, and there’s so much we still don’t know about supers. So, if this is something you want, don’t let the science get in your way.”

  You had no idea what you wanted, only that you were suddenly glad that you’d at least started this conversation with Marcus a while back. It felt like it would’ve been a more difficult subject to broach now, if you hadn’t.   But this wasn’t the time to have it. There were more tests that needed to be done, and for the first time, you really wanted to know what more the science actually could tell you.

  You glanced at Marcus, hoping not see him crushed by the news, and were relieved to find him looking calmly determined.   You’d talk about it later.

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight​ @farfromjustordinary​ @allmyspideys​ @hrk-fic-recs​ @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts​ @computeringturtle

Grace, I keep self-sabotaging and ruining opportunities for myself and don’t know how to stop. I got multiple emails from my dream companies with interview offers but didn’t respond. I procrastinate past deadlines. it’s probably due to my anxiety and ADHD, but whatever it is, it’s wrecking me.

I know you’re not on here regularly anymore, but you gave me great advice years ago, and I never forgot it. hope you’re doing well

babe! I'm so sorry that I didn't see this until right this very minute! tumblr was silly and didn't notify me. I hope it's not too late to help.

first I want to ask you why you haven't been able to respond. by finding the true answer to this question you will get to a place where you can begin to help yourself heal. now, I know that there have been times in my life, especially in my undergrad, where I could barely bring myself to open my email inbox because I was crushed by the very thought of the expectations that would await me once I had opened any new emails. this was partly due to exhaustion, but it was first and foremost because I was terrified of being any less than what others desired of me. I wanted to be perfect at everything and so I did nothing. is this ringing any bells?

it took me time and a lot of practice to realize that other people didn't care as much as I thought they did about how well I performed. my bosses, colleagues, classmates, and mentors were merely out here surviving, just like me, and at the end of the work day, they wouldn't remember whether I did or didn't achieve some particular goal or if I made this or that mistake. not to be cringe, but there's a scene in Schitt's Creek that communicates this lesson really well. David is anxious about renewing his driver's license because he is worried about what the examiner will think of him if he makes a mistake, and so he puts off the test until Alexis says "ugh *David,* literally nobody cares." I had a revelation when I heard this hard truth, which is somehow so simple yet had escaped me for so many years (and still escapes me sometimes).

for me, finding a way to START the work has always been about realizing that the work I do or don't do won't matter to anyone else at the end of the day except for ME, and maybe the communities I'm helping to serve. the higher-ups will go home and have a glass of wine and continue to live their lives and time will keep moving. realizing that you're only out here to impress YOU can be really liberating.

and then my love there's a much simpler answer to all this as well. ADHD can be really hard, I know--but there are medications out there for it. a friend of mine recently started on ADHD meds and texted me being like "WAIT THE WORLD IS THIS GOOD?" it's not always easy to get access to a diagnosis, but if you have the resources, use them. it could change your life.

if this was entirely unhelpful, pls do clarify for me what you're currently feeling and I'll try again. <3