#when people really want something they lie
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no time for losers
everyone saw alexia's goal celebration. only you got to see [and participate in] the match celebrations later that night. smut. 18+.
ps. this fic was made possible by @sunnyaelia who made very specific requests ☺️🤭🙃
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You held out as long as you could, truly. But you’d been ready to pounce on your girlfriend all day, the endorphins and emotions of the day only increasing this urge. The first people began to peel away from the after party and head up to bed, and you saw your opportunity. Alexia had kept you close to her all night, and now you stood pressed up against her, one of her arms slung along your neck. You’d been fiddling with the rings on your fingers when you saw Ingrid and Mapi slip away. You knew what they were up to. Lucy pulled Ona out of the room after that, but you were quite sure the Englishwoman just wanted to get some ice on the poor girl’s face. Once a few more of your teammates had left the room, you turned to tuck your face into Alexia’s chest, knowingly exactly how to get her to take you upstairs.
If you were horny, she’d make you wait, just a bit. Even if she was too. If you pretended to be tired, though, she’d take you upstairs faster, so you let your eyes fall shut as you listened to the steady thump of Alexia’s heartbeat in your ear, just barely audible over the loud music pumping into the room from Patri’s speaker.
“Tired?” Alexia asked gently, her hand gently placed on the back of your head, fingers scratching lightly.
You nodded against her. It wasn’t a lie, you were tired. You’d played 60 minutes in an incredibly physical match. You were just much more interested in activities other than sleeping at the moment.
“Vale, let’s go up.” She paired the words with a soft kiss to your head, keeping you held close to her as you both bid your teammates a goodnight and exited the room. She was being incredibly gentle with you as she led you upstairs, but you really hoped that would change soon.
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“I thought you were tired?” Alexia huffed, breaking away from the deep kiss you’d pulled her into the minute the hotel room door had shut behind you.
“I am.” You shrugged, letting your lips drift down to her jaw and work their way down her neck.
“Just not too tired for this?” She wondered teasingly, while still holding a note of concern in her voice.
“Nope.”
“Promise?” Alexia asked gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you looked up at her.
“Promise.” You confirmed. That was all she needed to hear before she was backing you up against the wall, one hand on the small of your back, the other threading through your hair. Her hands were everywhere, really, fluttering over your skin before settling at the hem of your shirt, trying to tug it up. You let her pull it off you, blushing slightly at the smirk that adorned Alexia’s features as she gazed down at you, before she was moving back in.She wasn’t being gentle anymore as she kissed you, and you were glad for it, though you still had a few things to do before this could go any further.
“Ale,” you hummed.
“Hmm?” She didn’t pull back, nails scratching bluntly at your lower back.
“Ale.” You repeated.
Alexia groaned, but pulled away, giving you a cheeky smile to tell you that she wasn’t really annoyed. “What do you need mi amor?”
“I need to wash the sunscreen off my face.” You whispered against her lips. “And I’m thirsty,” you added as an afterthought. She chuckled, gently pushing you away from her.
“Go wash your face. And take your clothes off.”
“They’re already half off.” You said, rolling your eyes.
“Go.” She instructed, turning you in the direction of the bathroom. She headed for her suitcase and you were rather excited to see what she was searching for.
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When you exited the bathroom completely bare, you found Alexia in the same state, except for the harness and dildo fixed over her hips. She was neatly folding her clothes, putting them in a pile on the dresser, but she placed something on top of the pile that grabbed your attention.
She turned to look at you, a cocky grin on her face brought a matching grin onto your face. You walked closer, grabbing the captain's armband off her pile of clothes and motioning for her to hold her arm out. Now it was Alexia’s turn to blush, just a bit.
“Amor,” she complained, though she held her arm out all the same.
“Mi capitana.” You hummed, slipping the armband on and wrapping it around her bicep.
You made eye contact with your girlfriend, noticing a spark in her eye that wasn’t there before.
“Su capitana,” she whispered, tugging you closer to her. “Then you better listen to what I tell you to do, no?”
“I should.” You agreed, fighting a smile.
“Bueno. On your knees.” She instructed, guiding you down as you complied easily, knowing exactly what she had in mind.
Alexia always let you set the pace with this, but you were in no mood to go slow. The intense makeout session before, combined with the dominant way Alexia was staring down at you combined to make you wet and aching.
You took Alexia’s strap into your mouth, gagging slightly as you did so. You worked it down your throat much faster than you normally did, desperate to please your girlfriend, and desperate to get her to touch you. You could feel your inner thighs covered in slick, and you pressed them together for a hint of anything at all, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by Alexia, who’s eyes were glued to you.
“Fuck yourself while I fuck your throat.” She instructed, removing one of your hands from where it held her hip and gesturing for you to put it between your legs. You wanted her inside of you, now, her fingers, her cock, anything, but for now, her cock in your mouth and your fingers in your pussy would do.
You were wetter than you’d ever felt yourself, and your finger slipped easily through your folds and into your cunt. You were more focused on Alexia’s strap than you were on your own pleasure at that moment, though you still made sure to slip another finger in and stretch yourself out for her like you knew she wanted. You quickly found a rhythm that matched her hips thrusting her cock into your mouth, and you shifted, trying to get more comfortable. One of Alexia’s hands moved from the back of your head to trail up her abdomen and grab at her breast, giving it a rough squeeze. Your eyes followed the movement and before you knew it, you were caught up in drinking in the sight above you, your jaw going almost slack around Alexia’s cock.
Her abs flexed with every movement, short breaths getting caught in her throat as she looked down at you. You were gazing up at her, captivated by the sight of her completely bare except for the captain’s armband wrapped around her bicep. Your eyes were wide, slightly watery, and your face was a mess, but you looked at your girlfriend with complete devotion, complete submission.
“Joder,” Alexia groaned, the feeling of fucking your throat no longer doing it for her. She grabbed a fistfull of your hair and dragged you off her cock, hastily turning you around and bending you over the bed. You gasped slightly in shock at the change in position, but Alexia just leaned down, kissing messily across the skin of your back. “I need you now,” she whispered, her teeth nipping slightly at you. “I cannot wait.”
You hung your head and took in a few shaky breaths, nodding quickly as she dragged herself through you, not yet pressing in. “Can you take it or do you need my fingers?” Alexia asked quickly, barely keeping herself from immediately fucking into you when your hips bucked back against her.
“No, I can take it,” you told her breathlessly. The next second, she was burying herself inside of you, her cock hitting all the right places.
“Jesus,” you cried, forgetting, or potentially not caring, that some of your teammates were just next door. You fisted the comforter in your hands, holding on for dear life as Ale railed into you. She fucked you frantically, desperate to get herself off and to get you off, like she’d been thinking about it all day. You certainly had. Ever since she tore her shirt off after scoring, you had barely been holding yourself back from her, and she knew it. Her wandering hands at the celebrations told you it, as did her insistence on having you now, as soon as she could.
You barely heard the click of a button over the wet sounds your pussy was making, but then the strap was vibrating to life inside of you and your pleasure increased tenfold. Alexia’s forethought to bring the vibrating strap didn’t go unnoticed by you, and the slight cockiness that fueled that decision only turned you on more. As if she knew you’d win, as if she knew what she’d be doing as a celebration.
Alexia wasn’t normally loud during sex, but you could hear her now with every grind and every thrust, grunting deep in her throat, her nails digging into your ass as she wrenched you back against her. Evidently, Alexia decided that was much too loud, because the sounds suddenly became muffled, and when you looked back at her, she’d stuffed her shirt in her mouth, holding onto it with her teeth, eyes shut, head thrown back.
The 11 jersey dangled from her teeth, though she was still making noise deep in the back of her throat. You hadn’t realized how turned on you’d been since her goal celebration until that very moment, when you were reminded of it.
And with the reminder of her goal, you were reminded of the pride you had for your girlfriend. You were proud of yourself, and of the team of course, but that didn’t compare to what you felt for Alexia. It was pride and it was pure joy. It was love, an all encapsulating and overwhelming love. It was emotion that didn’t quite match the rough sex you were having, and you were only more sure of Alexia’s perfection when she slowed down and very carefully flipped you onto your back. You let out a sharp breath at the feeling of her cock twisting inside of you, before you were lost in Alexia’s hazel eyes, her forehead pressing down into yours. You pulled the shirt from her mouth, tossing it onto the bed and leaning up for a kiss. Alexia moved closer, too, but she didn’t yet make contact.
“Te amo mucho de menos, mi niña perfecta,” she whispered. She pressed her lips to yours, her hips beginning to pick up speed again, even as she leaned her weight down onto you. You kissed her back, hard, and slipped your tongue into her mouth. You couldn’t get her close enough to you, couldn’t feel her enough, but you weren’t giving up. Alexia tucked her face into the crook of your neck, exhaling sharply as you slid your hands down her back to grab at her ass, encouraging her to speed up the slow thrusting pace she was keeping.
“I love you.” You whispered back. “And I need you to fuck me.”
You felt your girlfriend grin into your skin, felt her shift slightly to hover above you. Her pace returned to the unforgiving one from before, and your head fell back against the mattress, a long whine coming from your mouth.
Alexia grunted, a sound much quieter than the ones you were making. Her eyes were still so close to you, and it was all you could do to stare into them and watch the pleasure Alexia was feeling flash across her normally very composed face.
“You feel so good amor,” she whispered breathily, dusting a few kisses onto the tip of your nose, her words an intense contradiction to the soft gesture.
You couldn’t handle how soft she was being, while also fucking you so well.
“Ale,” you whimpered, your voice louder than it should have been. Your girlfriend’s large hand slipped onto your face, covering your mouth as she hushed you. Her pace didn’t slow, though, if anything it picked up. The steady stimulation was getting you closer and closer, and all you wanted was more from her, to feel more from her.
Alexia’s hand wasn’t doing much to lower the volume of the moans falling from your mouth. “Shh, mi niña, you have to be quiet,” she rasped, her lips nibbling at your ear. Before you could tell her that you couldn’t be quiet, she was sitting up onto her knees, spreading your legs wide, and yanking your body closer into her. It was an entirely different angle, and when she began to pound into you again, you could barely contain yourself, squirming against the mattress underneath her, almost overwhelmed from the pleasure.
You let out a keening whine, one that was sure to be heard from anywhere nearby, and Alexia shushed you again. “Do I need to gag you?” She asked rhetorically, gently nudging your lips apart and slipping two fingers inside of your mouth. You groaned again, this time much quieter as you began to lick and suck at Alexia’s fingers.
“Buena niña,” she cooed, picking up the pace of her hips. With your mouth preoccupied and Alexia’s jaw clenched tightly shut, the only audible sound in the room was the filthy smack of Alexia’s body meeting yours, and the wet slip of her cock moving in and out of you.
And then her hand slid down your body, two fingers pressing into your clit, and you swore you saw stars.
“I want you to come on my cock, vale?” Alexia said raspily, a small smirk tugging at her lips even as her eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. “I want you to come when I fill you up.”
A choked moan escaped from you around Alexia’s fingers and they pushed in further, pressing down against your tongue. Your girlfriend began to circle her fingers around your clit, starting slow but increasing the speed as your hips grinded down against her hand and her cock. Waves and waves of pleasure were washing over you and you weren’t sure where you stopped and where Alexia began. All you knew was that you just needed her to keep fucking going.
You grabbed her wrist, pulled her fingers from your mouth and guided it to your throat. She gripped it in her hand and squeezed it slightly. Two of her fingers were wet against your skin, her fingers calloused and rough.
Alexia was always soft where you needed her to be soft. And rough where you need her to be rough. When she released your neck and gripped at your hips to get better leverage it was paired with a soft whisper.
“Are you close?”
“Sí, so close Ale. I want to come with you.” You whined, body writhing against the mattress now.
“Where, hmm? Where do you want me to come?” She asked teasingly.
“In my pussy Ale, please, I need it,” you begged, your voice barely more than a whimper.
Your girlfriend could only exhale sharply at your words and rub harder at your clit.
“Come on, bebe, with me,” Alexia encouraged, the soft praise tugging you closer and closer to the edge. You could just lay there, try to jerk your hips down against Alexia as the pleasure began to overtake you. You heard Alexia swear above you, and you cried out her name as you came, feeling yourself clench violently around her strap. Alexia could barely move, but she didn’t need to. All she needed was to grind her hips where they were, get herself off on the stimulation of the strap vibrating against her clit.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she groaned, collapsing down onto you to shove her face into the crook of your neck. You clung tightly to her, Alexia’s body shuddering and shaking on you. You reached down in between you, clicking the button on the dildo to turn it off. It stilled inside of you, save for the occasional twitch of Alexia’s hips, and you tried to catch your breath.
You were just recovering when Ale began to kiss at your neck again, sloppy wet kisses with just enough teeth involved that you knew she was going to be leaving marks. You didn’t really care.
“Eres tan hermosa, tan bonita.” She mumbled against your skin. Your cheeks heated with a blush and you smiled at the ceiling threading your fingers through the baby hairs at the base of Alexia’s neck. She always got mushy after sex.
Or, if the way her hand was beginning to trail lightly down your abdomen was any indication, she always got mushy during sex.
Alexia trailed kisses up your neck and down your jawline, nudging your head to press kiss the sweet spot right under your ear.
“I want to taste you. I want to feel you on my fingers.” She murmured, before leaving a final kiss on your cheek and looking down at you adoringly. “Can I?”
Who would say no?
You were both sticky with sweat, still buzzing with adrenaline, and you had never felt such a deep yearning for another person in your life. It was almost comical how quickly after you nodded your head that Alexia was undoing the straps that had the dildo fastened to her waist, slipping out of it, and tossing it off the side of the bed.
Alexia loved to have her tongue on you. She liked to savor every second, feel your thighs tighten against her head, feel your pussy pulse in her mouth. And she really loved to taste you. She took it slow, pressing loving kisses to your skin as she moved down your body, lacing her hands with yours just before she put her mouth on you.
Alexia hummed at the taste of you, flicking her tongue carefully through your folds, knowing very well that you’d be sensitive. You were, and you twitched under her, squeezing her hands when she stiffened her tongue and began to work it against your clit.
“You taste so good.” She groaned, pulling away to speak for just a second. Long enough for you to feel her hot breath on your core. You shivered, moaning softly and arching your back off the bed. “You are dripping, bebe, aye dios mío.”
“All for you.” You gasped, pulling your hands from hers and threading them through her hair, trying to press her closer into you. She took the opportunity, spreading your legs with her hands before stroking a careful finger over your entrance.
“All for me? How lucky am I, to have the most beautiful girl in the world on my tongue, dripping all over my fingers? Screaming my name.” Alexia whispered filthily. “My good girl, opening up for me so well.”
You whined at the praise, tugging lightly at the roots of her hair in an effort to tell her that you wanted more of it. Even if it took Alexia’s tongue off you, she kept it close enough that you could feel the vibrations of her words on you, her finger beginning to slide in and out of your pussy.
“You like that? You like to hear how good you are for me?”
“Sí Ale, your good girl.” You cried, squirming slightly when Alexia slipped another finger into you. It wasn’t a stretch by any means but she was curling them perfectly inside of you, sliding over and over the spot inside of you that made you grab helplessly at the sheets.
“My good girl.” She confirmed. “Are you going to make a mess on my fingers?”
“Mmhmm,” you sighed, trying to stop your legs from completely shutting around Alexia’s head.
At the confirmation, Alexia returned her attention to your clit with a renewed eagerness. The combination of her fingers and her tongue were mind numbing, and you felt yourself hurtling over the edge once again. The blonde’s fingers fucked into your cunt rapidly through it, and just when you thought you felt that absolute best that you could, Alexia began to whisper against you as she pulled her tongue away from your clit, and slowed your fingers.
“So good when your pretty pussy comes for me. My perfect girl.” Alexia cooed, enjoying the completely fucked out expression on your face.
“Your perfect girl,” you whimpered back, wanting nothing more than to just be Alexia’s forever. Your girlfriend fixed her attention on your core, still leaking, still overwhelmingly wet, and knew what she wanted next.
You’d barely come down at all before Alexia was lifting up her head from between your legs, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand, a slightly mischievous smile on her face.
“I want to feel your pussy on mine,” Alexia rasped, swinging a leg over yours and pressing herself down onto you. She was soaking wet and she moved fast, clearly on edge from getting you off. Her body grinded perfectly down onto yours and your jaw practically dropped at the sight of her above you. Her abdomen tensing and untensing, her arms flexing as she held your legs apart. Her breasts bounced lightly as she moved, her hair half out of her ponytail. She was so enticing, so perfect, and she was yours. You could barely think straight.
“Fuck, you are so wet,” the blonde sighed, and if you hadn’t been confident that any words that you tried to speak would come out as a garbled, whiny mess, you would have told her the same.
Alexia knew just how to position herself to perfectly stimulate you both, her strong legs helping her grind back and forth, back and forth. You could hear how wet you both were, every inch Alexia moved making a filthy sound that only heightened everything. It was perfect, and even though you’d just come, Alexia had just gotten you off, you could feel your abdomen tightening, your legs really beginning to shake against the mattress. You moved against her as best you could, though it was hard to focus on grinding up into her when she was being so entirely distracting.
You were close, bordering on overstimulation, but in the sweet spot where there wasn’t a single thought in your head other than the pleasure Alexia was bringing you. Alexia was close, too, her hips beginning to buck somewhat frantically, sharp breaths leaving her mouth at an increasing speed.
“Bebe,” she cried, “I am- close,”
Alexia wasn’t asking permission, she was setting an almost unspoken expectation, and you knew it.
“Gonna come,” you told her, still out of breath even as your girlfriend did all the work above you. The sight of her alone took your breath away.
“Dios mio, amor,” Alexia whined, her voice hitting a higher pitch as her hips stuttered.
“Shit, Ale, don’t stop,” you moaned, gripping her hips in your hand to encourage her to speed up. That did it for both of you, the added contact and the added speed combining to push you both over the edge.
Alexia cried out, much louder than she normally was. It lasted longer for you, until Alexia could feel your pussy pulsing against hers. You pushed at her hips, needing even the slight stimulation of her wet cunt on you to stop.
“Too much,” you whimpered, tugging on Alexia’s hand in an attempt to get her to come closer. She did, climbing off you and collapsing onto her back, immediately tugging you into her arms so that your head was resting comfortably on her chest.
You lazily kissed at the skin of her chest before looking up at her. She was already looking down at you, a small smile on her dazed face.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” She whispered, thumb brushing over the flush of your cheeks.
You shook your head gently. “You are perfect.”
“Hmm.” Alexia hummed, dragging you up closer to her, until she could plant a kiss on your cheek. “No, you.”
There was really no use arguing, though you had 4 reasons from today alone why Alexia was the perfect one in the relationship. 1 insane goal, and 3 other… convincing things.
Your eyes shut and Alexia watched as you grew sleepier and sleepier. She didn’t forget the look on your face just a few minutes ago, one of awe and love. You looked at her the same way when she scored, when she ran for the first time after her second surgery. When she bought you flowers and coffee on a sunday morning, and when you rolled over in the morning to find her already awake, just looking at you. Alexia was so much more than just a footballer to you, and she really, really loved that. And you.
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i didn't proof read so. as always. tell me if you find typos.
hope you enjoy 🫶🏻🫶🏻🙃🙃🙂🙂🙂
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OK PREFACING WITH IM SORRY IF I ALREADY SENT THIS EXACT ASK BUT MY WIFI KILLED ITSSLF AS I SENT IT SO IDK IF IT ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH. but in case it didn’t . i know youve gotten this countless times in the past because i blog stalked just in case youve mentioned something similar before but i need to know if you have any specific inspirations when you draw exaggerated expressions specifically like these two images of marcille. ive actually cried laughing over this comic and being able to communicate this type of visceral emotion is such an insane skill and ive followed your art for probably close to a decade through various fandoms so watching you develop this style has been fucking awesome and epic. like i cannot articulate how funny these are to me i just need you to understand i look at this comic to inspire me to draw now. the closest comparison i can draw to the feelings they evoke are like those mspaint reaction images and also mspaint tails i included for reference even though you probably know exactly what im talking about anyways but its actually so much harder to do that intentionally when you study art. also i lied you literally don’t even need to answer this i just had to let you know how obsessed i am over your silly comics and now ive written out a whole ass discussion post about it. im sorry if this is weird at all i think my daily prescribed amphetamines r wearing off and i know this is such a dumb specific thing to fixate on and im so sorry if its not something you want to hear about your art. ive just always seen that as an artist this type of expressive stupid silly style is something that comes after a significant amount of time and practice and study and style development despite being “simple” in theory. its just so cool to have worked with your own style so much that youre able to go “off model” from it and still maintain consistency with the rest of the piece. i said it already and im sorry this is actually rendundant now but the ability to communicate such raw emotion somehow decreases from at its height when someone is a beginner artist learning how to proportion and keep a steady line and what looks “normal” but somehow it all comes full circle because taking all that experience and using it to almost return to where you started but in a fully informed and intentional way so you can make choices to draw characters like this when the situation calls for it is just dhcidogakgoshfhw. i think i need to cut myself off or im going to talk in circles im sorry tumblr user sabertoothwalrus i just am fascinated by your style and progress and the years you’ve dedicated to art can be seen in so many places but this is just one that stands out to me specifically.
MMMMM what a fun question!!!
I'm not gonna lie, I think it's just Letting A Drawing Be Bad. I definitely think the people that struggle with this the most are people who have genuinely very pretty art styles, to the point of being kind of perfectionist about it. and to Draw Funny often means Drawing Fast and Weird. Pretty is kind of the antithesis of funny (unless being pretty is the punchline). do drawings that make yourself laugh. tracing/lining funny sketches almost always makes them less funny.
one of my favorite types of humor is when it skews more deadpan, actually. This is one of the reasons I love Adventure Time. minimal expressions and flat line delivery + absurd context is a really good combo. the key to comedy has more to do with contrast! if your drawings are allllll crazy ren & stimpy all the time, they're not funny anymore cause it's just "normal". if it's all subdued UNTIL it's extreme, and vice versa, then it's funny. The reason this comic is so funny is because of the complete lack of any expression. I feel like the one you sent of Marcille shouting "WHAT" is funnier when you know how much she tries to be dainty and feminine and delicate, how much she values her appearance, and how averse she is to "gross" or "weird" things.
something I find really annoying (and this is with comics/animation in general, not the expressions themselves) is when the joke goes on for too long. Like you'll have the joke, then the punchline, and THEN the characters reacting to the punchline??? Like the author didn't trust that their audience would find the joke funny, so they basically drew in a laugh track. But, this is distinct from a character's reaction being the punchline (like how the examples you gave from my Marcille comic are). MY POINT IS sometimes expressions aren't as funny on their own as you think, and context can affect how you feel about it!
as far as inspirations go!
my own face! even if I don't have a mirror, I like making the expressions myself so I can "feel" where the points of tension on my face are, and it gives me a sense of what to exaggerate.
my brother's art, believe it or not! we've been trying to make each other laugh with our drawings since we were kids, and he's really good at it.
ATLA has some great expressions
OK KO has been a reallyyyy good source for me lately. That show is so tailored to my sense of humor and the expressions and line deliveries feel exactly like the kinds of things I'd come up with. The tone, timing, and art style are all really close to the tv show pitch I'm working on, so when I feel like I've "strayed" too much from it (like after drawing a bunch of dungeon meshi, and my art feels tighter and... idk "manga-ier"?) I like to go and watch a couple episodes of OK KO to loosen back up
A lot of things like OG Spongebob, Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons, Chowder, etc etc
memes in general. if it makes you laugh, keep it in mind
and lastly, I wouldn't say I ever try to mimic funny expressions I see. Like if I watch a show for inspo, I'm not pausing it to copy specific drawings, I'm just trying to notice patterns and pay attention to what about it I find funny.
talking about being funny is really bizarre and I dunno if it makes it lose some of the magic. Ultimately it's something you can't think about too much, and just gotta go with your gut.
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Imagine being in a relationship with Dottore but with a twist. He has a fake amnesia.
Imagine months after reuniting with your lover. You started to notice that he was a little different from before. He was your Dottore, at the same time, just like what you have felt before. He was different, there were times where it felt like he was the man you love, but there were also times where you wonder if this man was really the man you love.
"Dar- no, Dottore. Can we talk?" He was busy, you knew that. He was always busy. But at the same time, he always make time for you. He always does, that was something that never changed. "Dottore? Little one, what did I do wrong this time?" Setting down his paper, his masked face came into view. "You always call me Darling but often call me by my name whenever you're upset." He spoke gently, standing up from his seat and started walking towards you who was now looking down at your lap, unable to face him for the words that you are about to say.
Imagine, you love Dottore. Even when he went missing for months. Even when it has to be you to go and went to look for him not the other way around. You did that because you love him. But you do not know what to feel anymore. He feels different. Or maybe you never get to know his true self, maybe what he have shown to you was a mare fragment of himself. You love him still, you do. But sometimes he scares you. It was not just you, you could see the way others look at him, some were admiration, respect and there there was the look of terrified people. There was also that fact that he never once, after meeting you, took of his mask. Did he not trust you anymore?
"Little one." There he was right in front of you. "Couldn't bare to look at me anymore hmm?" There he was sweet talking you, it reminds you of the past where he would often do the same when soothing you. "Look at me little one." You felt him gently place a hand on your chin before gently lifting it up. "Tell me what's wrong, hmm?" You were contemplating, once in a while looking back and front at him and into our side only to let out a sigh. "Dottore, I think we need a break..."
Imagine, Dottore thought you were really interesting. That fact that you, manage to capture the heart of one of his clones, telling you about his real name let alone where to find him. Tells how important you have become to that clone of him. And to be honest for the past months that he has been with you, he did see why. Why his clone had gone through such measure. You were kind and innocent. Very innocent. He could tell you a lie and you would believe it with no questions asked, makes him wonder how could such human being give their trust so easily. It makes him thrilled and it cames him greedy. He wanted to keep you at all cost within his arms, make sure yor world would only revolve around him.
so Imagine the way his eye twitches as soon as you said those words. He have always been patience with you. But at those very moments, he almost grabbed you by the neck, almost asked you why, why would you say such scary thing? Take a break? Why was that needed? He was giving you everything that you want. His time, affection, expensive gift and jewellery, the books that you want. So why was that needed? What was wrong? Why the fuck would you think the two of you needed a break? But then he needs to calm down, he needed to calm down. So with silent rage, he asked. "Why?" Then you answered. "Because sometimes, you felt like a different person, Dottore. You're scaring me sometimes." You answered, eyes tearing up. "I'm sorry." You sniff, looking down once again as he halted.
Imagine the way Dottore halted. A different person? Of course that make sense. He and his clone may be the same but at the same time, they were not. And it was his clone you fell in love with. There might be a resemblance when it comes to him and his clone but the fact that you thought, you felt like they were different, he was different was making sense. But so what? So what if they were different? In the end, he was the one who remained, the was the original. His clone may have found you, but you found him. And that was his win.
Imagine, to your surprise. Dottore suddenly kneel down in front of you. "What are you doi-?!" When you urged when to look at you, his mask was gone, forgotten on the floor. This- this was the face of the man you love. "Little one." You felt your heart ache at his pained smile as you felt him take a hold of your hands that was resting on your lap. "I'm sorry you felt that way." The way his face sadden, his lips curling down, you felt bad to yourself. "Maybe it has something to do with my amnesia." He looked away as you looked at him wide eyes. "What?!" "No- that was a slip of tongue Little one. Do forget what I have just said." Then he stood up and was about to leave. "Perhaps you are right, Little one. Maybe we should take a break.." He sound so heart broken that it immediately snap you out of your flabbergasted state.
Imagine the way you chase after him, grabbing him by the hem of his coat just like the first time the two of you met. "Wa-wait. Dotto- Darling. What do you mean amnesia?" You sound like you were about to cry that it almost made his lips curl up. "Di-did you get hurt while you were away?" This time you thug his coat harder. "Is that why you were not able to come home to me?" You felt so bad. "Is-is that why you were acting to different? Because you lost your memories?" Then you felt his shoulder tremble causing you to panic and hug him from behind. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Darling, I was wrong. We don't need a break, I was a fool. I'm sorry, please don't mind what I said. I did not know you have gone through such thing. If I have known I would never do such thing. I should have never doubted you, Darling."
Imagine the way he turn around and how his heart broken face. Making you feel even bad, his time hugging him, hiding your face on his chest as you cry silently, telling him sorry for saying such hurtful and stupid things. But when you felt him hug you back, you felt a little relief one to feel bad once again when you could clearly feel his shoulder trembling. Once again you murmur stings of apologies, promising you'll be by his side until the end. But in contrast to your imagination. He was not crying like you has imagined him to me. In fact he was laughing, he was laughing silently that it causes his shoulder to go up and down. A devilish smile on his lips as he pull you even closer to him. "It's alright." In contrast to his grin, his voice sounds hurt no one would ever assume it was coming from him if they were to look at his face right now. "You're forgiven, Little one. Stay by my side like you promised, hmm."
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°
#dark night hero#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact fanfic#genshin drabbles#genshin impact imagines#dottore genshin#dottore x reader#genshin impact dottore#il dottore#dottore#x reader#genshin x y/n#genshin x you#genshin x reader
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this sounds kinda fucked but like how would vox be toxic in a relationship?? who do you think would be like the worst character to be with in hazbin?
this sounds like a bummer of a request but i ask because you talk about how much you like character analysis posts, and you have a clear love for terrible people (same!)
AHHHHHH I GET TO TALK ABOUT EVIL PEOPLE!!
So let me just say that I feel like, of late, I haven’t given that much attention to how terrible of a person Vox is… But the thing is, no one wants to hear about how they would be mistreated in a relationship. I mean, I fear a lot of my posts seem delusion-ally out of character for this, but also it’s tumblr and as long as I continue have a firm grasp on what that character is actually like, mischaracterization can be excused for the sake of joy and whimsy. (However I can justify ANYTHING that I was written and tell you why they would **to an extent** do that. Actually that sounds really fun someone test me on that—)
Vox definitely gets the worst of ‘mischaracterization for the sake of joy and whimsy’ so here’s a small reality check! Don’t enjoy <3 **NOT PROOFREAD**
Constant surveillance of your every move. This meaning every question you google, all the television you watch, every stranger you smile at, he would keep track of it all.
Anything you do wrong, under his creepy surveillance, would be used against you during arguments.
No, even if you two are official, he does not stop fucking Val, and no, if asked, he will not stop.
He will lie to you if he feels he needs to, and will absolutely never feel bad about it no matter how big of a lie it is.
The worst of this definitely comes when you two are fighting and you call him out for something he 100% did.
He’s great at painting himself out in a good light, and when you’re fighting he does this by lying, and if that doesn’t work, hypnosis.
Yeah, he does that a lot too. If you’re not in the mood to fuck, now you are. If you’re hanging out with your friends tonight instead of him, no you’re not. I hope you all have blue light glasses!
Also, if all of his manipulation tactics fail to work on you, he just gets mad and really personal in all of his insults. It’s easy for him to do so when he’s studied you on his screen for so long.
Hope you’re not overly insecure too, he’ll take advantage of that to get what he wants from you.
Speaking of taking advantage of, if you’re famous or special or interesting in any particular way, he will 100% use you for press.
Also, he’s from the 1950s, no matter how modern he tries to be, a part of this mindset will always stay with him.
Meaning that he will obnoxiously try to be the manly one in the relationship, no matter your gender.
You will be feminized in his mind, at least for a good start of the relationship.
This also stems from his fragile ego, and seeing as he is the personification of toxic masculinity!
This is a dom reader blog, obviously, but even after fucking this kind of mindset out of him, these tendencies would stop, BUT be replaced by equally as terrible ones.
For example, especially if he’s the sub, he would just expect you to do things for him, to stick your neck out, to take care and dote on him.
If you’re not giving him enough attention as well, your internet will go out, your lights will flicker, and no electronics in your house will work.
This will stay the case until you are forced to ask him for help.
But you wanted to be in charge anyways, so why should this behavior be reciprocated?
I’ve talked about this in past posts, I can’t find it at this very moment but I go into detail more, but what does love look like for Vox?
He would probably either be shockingly indifferent towards you, until he falls in ‘love.’
Then, he will be terribly obsessed with you. Because the closest thing he can feel to actually love is devoted obsession.
Yes, it can last as long as love, but it isn’t.
Because, and let me say this loudly, a healthy relationship with Vox, or any of the Vees, is not possible. You can be close, but it is not and never will be possible!
Okay, so your second question, “who do you think would be like the worst character to be with in hazbin?”
Top three and in this order:
Any of the Vees
2. Alastor
3. Adam or Lute
I’m probably forgetting someone, but it’s alright. Top three remains the same.
And you know, you will never catch me defending any of those people. Because I feel like in this fandom there is some crazy internalized theme of being ‘morally correct’ when liking a character.
You can find a character entertaining or interesting, no matter how awful they are. It’s television, characters are supposed to be interesting. Liking their screen time, or finding them attractive, has virtually NOTHING to do with your moral compass.
SORRY FOR THE RANT AT THE END— This is going to flop so hard. ☝️😁
Lucifer content and Adam content coming out soon, BY THE WAY!! Just trying to answer the more question-y asks before putting out actual content. Also i’m bored with no real motivation so
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I feel like it's so obvious in this that English isn't my first language cause why tf is it called a clock dial instead of a Ziffernblatt. It's lowkey making me mad. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆｡ﾟ. ───
Pairing: James potter x reader
Warnings: throwing up, not taking care of yourself, cursing, some angst
Word count: 1.7k
Disclaimer 1: Everything on this Blog is fiction!!!
Disclaimer 2: Third part is coming cause I'm really dragging this out at this point (It makes sense don't worry)
Sypnosis: The aftermath of losing your boyfriend and best friend leaves you in shambles
"Distance 2". :☆｡ﾟ. ────
part one
This morning you woke up with a feeling of dread you haven’t felt before and a throbbing pain in your head. You dreaded going down to the great hall, filled with people and food. You dreaded the thought of classes and having to see James and his Friends. You dreaded having to get into the shower and get ready with a pounding headache accompanying you.
For a second you debated just not doing said dreaded things, but you couldn’t allow yourself to wallow. No, you refuse to be affected by some boy's opinion of you. Who cares what he thinks? You were going to get shit done.
Now, you’re sitting on the bathroom floor near Potions throwing up the Breakfast you forced yourself to swallow. Your scalp is itchy because you decided to put off showering for just another day and you think some of the puke is hanging in your front pieces. It’s disgusting and you feel just as disgusting as the spit running down your chin. At least the worst part is over, the feeling of knowing you're about to throw up and racing to the toilets while gagging is something you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. That’s a lie. Still, it’s awful.
Your grip on the toilet bowl tightens before you sigh and stand up to flush away your breakfast. You watch as the pieces of dry bed disappear before leaving the stall to wash your bare face. You don’t look in the mirror to not see the mess you must look. The dry-shampooed hair in a loose bun instead of the slick back you would’ve gone for if you had had more energy.
You barely slept and must look like it. You blink back tears and straighten your back, about to turn around and leave when the door flies open to reveal a panting and panicked James. He stumbles inside and searches the bathroom for a second before his eyes meet yours. His whole body relaxes as he steps inside and lets the door fall closed behind him. “Are you okay? I heard you were sick!”
He beelines towards you and grabs your face to check for a fever. “You’re fine right? Do you need anything? Let me help you, please?” His Hands are colder than usual but feel amazing against your hot, tacky skin. He smells like grass and his shitty hair gel that doesn’t do anything to control the frizz of his curls. You step back, bumping into the sink that’s still behind you. “I don’t need help.”
He frowns and scans your face causing you to lower your eyes in embarrassment. He must be disgusted. You hear him sigh disgustingly soft and you feel hot tears stab at your eyes. “Let’s get you to the Hospital wing. Come on, love.” His voice is soft and pitiful. It makes you want to run away and hide forever.
Go somewhere you’ll never be tricked into loving, trusting someone. Somewhere you don’t have to hear his soft voice or look at his pained eyes. Somewhere you can forget.
You avoid his gaze as you attempt to push past him, you know such a place doesn’t exist but getting out of this bathroom filled with him would do it for now, “I’m fine.” He holds your waist to stop you from walking away and you can’t help but melt into the touch. Letting yourself indulge in the feeling of his strong hands steadying your body.
“Let me help you, my love. You don’t need to push yourself and go to class or be productive. I know you want to but there is no need. I know-” “You don’t know!” You interrupt, pushing him away. The realization that he knows you even if he doesn’t actually care about you makes something sharp sting in your chest.
You trusted him and opened up to someone that only feels pity for you. As if you’re a dead animal on the side of the road.
The look in his eyes has you remembering the events of the day before and you almost feel bad. Then, you remember his embarrassed face at your mention and how he just let his friends talk bad about you while pretending to care. He deserves this. “You do not know me, Potter”
He flinches at the way you spit out his last name, full of hatred, but instead of feeling guilty, you feel content. This is what he’s supposed to experience after stringing you along for almost three months.
You push past him and leave out of the door. The loud chatter of students around you makes your head hurt and you hurry to reach your dorm before you begin throwing up again, leaving a perplexed James standing in the bathroom.
The next morning is easier. You wake up early and tiptoe to the shower to not wake your roommates. You double shampoo your hair and put in your favorite sea-salt scented mask after entangeling your hair. While it does what it’s supposed to, you exfoliate and shave which leaves you exhausted but feeling much better.
You brush your teeth, dry and comb your hair before doing skincare and finally makeup while your roommates start to get up.
At breakfast you eat waffles and eggs with some bacon while ignoring the ever prominent head-ache and stares you get after not sitting next to James. Your mouth still tastes and feels weird but the hunger pushes the disgust away.
The smells of hot coffee and chamomile tea fill your nose as you relax in the sun coming from the giant, currently painted, windows. Amongst the gossip of your house you hear an annoyed mcgonagall lecturing a few students on their messy and wasteful eating habits. You feel a smile grow on your face and close your eyes for a few seconds to concentrate on the warmth of the sun before deciding to get some sleep.
You’re about to stand up and leave to get in about another hour of sleep when a boy, Anton you think, speaks up. “Have you and Golden boy broken up, then?” He bites into his apple and your stomach turns. “What,” you question, confused by the casual misinformation. Were you two so obvious about your fight? Anton (?) continues chewing while talking and you force your food to stay down, “I mean, I heard some talking and stuff. I’m pretty sure Sirius- ”
You frown while standing up, “You can’t believe that guy, he never liked me.”
It’s true. Sirius seems to be very territorial of his friendship with James which causes him to make mean comments whenever you pull James away from him. Pulled.
“Is that a no then, or…” The follow up questions of why Sirius doesn’t like you and whether James still loves you by the students around Anton cause you to roll your eyes in annoyance. Everyone is always so curious to know everything, can’t even give you a fucking day of peace.
You pass James, whose plate stays untouched in front of him, on your way out.
It’s 10:13 am and you’re sitting in Charms. Professor Flitwick is talking about some banishing spells for nasty wood spirits while balancing on a floating book he charmed to reach the top of the blackboard. You keep stealing glimpses at the loudly ticking clock. The ticking makes time passing feel much slower than you’d like as it makes you aware of every second as it passes. You can’t help but focus on the slow drawl of the clock hands as they creep over the clock dial.
James keeps bouncing his knee next to you and nervously tapping on the desk. His Fingers hit the wood in a repeating, but long, rhythm. Index, middle, pinky, ring, index, middle, index, ring, pinky and repeat. His eyes keep scanning your face for exactly 2 and a half seconds before he squints at Flitwick for 5 and at his Paper for 8. Repeat.
It’s a seemingly endless cycle and the worst part is the fact that you’re actively contributing to it. Every 18 seconds you look at James, then you tell yourself you want to break out of it so you don’t look at him for 25, then you’re back to eighteen. You inspect the ticking clock, it’s 10:15, and notice the crack in the number 10. The clock is old but surprisingly good intact, except for number 10.
You turn to James to tell- Nevermind.
The clock is ticking, while professor Flitwick turns back to the class. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
“Does anyone know the answer?” Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
No hands are raised, a few bad students sink further into their chairs to hide, some look at the ceiling. James looks at you. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Professor Flitwick raises his brow and studies the classroom. Waiting for an answer to whatever he asked. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
James is looking at you. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
“Perhaps Mr. Potter would know the answer if he wasn’t staring at Ms. Y/L/N’s ear. Right, Mr- Potter” Tick. Tick. Tick.
James startles and nervously looks around the classroom and meets a laughing Sirius’ eye before quietly answering, “Yes, Professor Flitwick” Tick. Tick.
The bell rings and James slides you a small piece of paper. Tick.
Taglist: @csifandom @queenanababy @yourfavoritereader @autumn2534 @eissaaaa @mp-littlebit @bunnyweasley23 @mamamakaylamorgan23 @aasmalfoy @maddieg1025 @moonywastakenn @bouearis @albanianslut
#writing#headcanon#fluff#angst#fanfic#harry potter#marauders#marauders era#james potter x reader#james potter x you#james potter#marauders fanfiction#harry potter marauders#the marauders era#the marauders#james potter au#james potter headcanon#james potter fanfiction
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how taesan loves ( zodiac series ) ˚ · .
how i think taesan would navigate relationships/love/communication based on his natal chart/birth chart!
wc: 1k+
more under the cut!
taesan is "communicative, free, and understanding" when he truly loves.
taesan is a tough shell to crack. because of his gemini moon, he is always looking for excitement and variety, which means that he doesn't "settle down" often. despite this, both his sun and mars are in leo, so he can be very loyal when he genuinely likes someone. he either will have a crush on one person for a very long time, or wait until he finds the perfect person for a long-term relationship.
if he is going to confess, he'll be very detailed and communicative about it. he doesn't take his feelings lightly!!! he's attracted to people who he can have engaging conversations with, learn from, and have witty charm. he's pretty sarcastic himself, so i think he'd also like to have someone who can meet him on that level. other air sign moon placements are a good match for him as they can share their values of freedom and understanding with eachother.
taesan has a high need for variety and change and he can get bored quickly if things stay the same for too long; especially if he feels mentally understimulated. this is why he likes people who are a little unexpected, wild at heart, and have a passion for trying out new things!!! >< introduce him to new music artists, fashion brands, movies, etc.
he'd like dates that involve experiencing the cultures of other cities, road trips, museums, and other things that involve learning ^___^ he'd also like getaway trips to other countries, sightseeing, and stuff like that!
his love language is words of affirmation. he likes to be complimented, whether it be for his taste in fashion, his appearance, his mindset on something, etc. he wants you to think he's cool!!!! and because of his leo placements, he's especially sensitive on his spine, so hugs where you run your fingers up and down his back are ideal <3 also placing your hand on his chest right over his heart when you kiss will have him folding!!!
he is incredibly talkative once he feels comfortable around you. he will talk your ear off for hours if you let him, and please do! communication and sharing ideas and knowledge is one of the best ways to get closer to him. let him info dump about all of his favorite things, and he would like it if you do the same with him!!!
once taesan feels fully safe and commited in a relationship, he can provide you with some of the best security, comfort, and care. with his moon squaring jupiter, he requires the same treatment. he might not be the most emotional person ever, but his loyalty and admiration go a very long way. he can be passionate and driven by desire, so i think people who can match that are a good fit for him. it doesn't seem like he'd be into the "opposites attract" type of thing.
he loves being the center of attention, even though he'll never admit it. taesan is a cancer venus, so he is very sensitive at heart, but he hides behind the dismissive and cold demeanor of his gemini moon. he is very emotionally intelligent and self-aware, preferring to analyze and process his feelings thoughtfully in solitude before confiding in someone.
back to his cancer venus, taesan pays attention to your actions more than your words. don't try to lie about being "okay" if you're going through a hard time because he will see right through you. he'll encourage you to confide in him and if you ask him to, he'll help you figure out how to go about difficult situations.
the biggest area for potential conflict would be his struggle with empathy and concern. don't get me wrong, he does have a genuine interest for his partner's feelings, but sometimes he can be too rational. while he prefers to resolve conflict through communication, he gets really uncomfortable in highly vulnerable or irrational situations. this is where he struggles to incorporate empathy into his communication style, rather than stating facts over feelings.
if taesan is feeling insecure or rejected, he has a tendency to retreat into himself. expect pouting fits and silent treatments if you ever make him upset. :< he can get fired up pretty easily if he feels disrespected, humiliated, or mischaracterized. he might even resort to petty tactics to see how much you really care about him. he's a leo-gemini sun/moon so he has no shame in playing games with you. he'll probably do and say things to get a reaction out of you, like trying to make you jealous or pity him. he can also hold grudges for a bit too (cancer venus lol)
once he has enough alone time to sort out his emotions, with his mercury in virgo, he'll probably organize all of his thoughts in his notes app before sitting down with you to talk because he hates when his words are skewed or taken out of context. he likes serious communication to be neat and thorough. screaming fights and intense arguments make him shut down and go ghost, so communication should be respectful and calm. when he's clear-headed, he can see from multiple points of view very well; "i see where you're coming from", "i understand why you feel that way and i'm sorry".
how can you make taesan feel loved? firstly, be understanding. he may have bouts of criticism and pessimism, so understand that this is just who he is and it's never directed at you or your character! he thinks that being understood and communicating needs and wants clearly are the most important things. he wants you to truly know him and you can show that in whatever way feels best. secondly, be free and full of whimsy! take him out to dance in the rain, roll down a grassy hill...just enjoy those unexpected moments with him.
taesan is truly a big kid at heart, but has built up these walls around him which leads him to being extremely independent. he wants his partner to value independence as much as he does, and understand that they can still be each other's safe spaces. he wants to be able to let his guard down around you, so be open-minded and love him through it all. he'll do the same for you <3
reblogs are greatly appreciated! lmk what u think or if you have any other takes!!! i'm always open to learning more :o thank u...<3
series masterlist
masterlist
#000 pawz ⋆˚🐾˖°#taesan black cat proven once again#he's so complex i love him#boynextdoor#bnd#boynextdoor imagines#astrology#zodiacs#taesan#taesan x reader#taesan imagines#<333333
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The blue VI (JJ Maybank x Reader)
Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for
Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)
A/N: the moment we’ve all been waiting for
Series masterlist + OBX masterlist
You felt bad for Kiara, knowing you probably hadn’t been the most pleasant company for the past few days.
Usually when the two of you had sleepovers it was all night gossip and games and sneaking out, but you weren’t up for any of that. Best you could offer was laying in her bed with her and watching videos on her laptop with some minor conversation.
You didn’t really have the capacity to think about anything else but your royal screw up with JJ.
She tried to get you to talk about what happened, but how could you? It didn’t take a genius to figure that something went down, but you’d rather have her think it was just an argument.
You still couldn’t believe what you’d done. You kissed JJ. You actually kissed him.
At the time it was you wanted, but then you let doubt get the best of you.
And now JJ probably hated you. Ironic how he thought it would be the other way around.
It wasn’t like you wanted to hurt him, but you had a hard time grappling with the very confusing feelings you now held for him.
It all started with that first kiss. You never would’ve known what you were missing if he hadn’t gone and done that.
“I love you, but it’s a perfectly good Saturday night and I am not spending it in my bedroom,” Kiara complained, forcing you out of your own head.
She pulled the fluffy blanket you had claimed as yours off of your body.
“What? Hey!”
You didn’t even remember her getting out of the bed. The two of you had practically been rotting beneath the covers all day.
“Up!” she demanded. You looked up and found the stubborn face of your friend looking back. “Come on.”
“Ugh, fine.” You forced yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. Kiara stood with her arms crossed while you frowned up at her. “Happy?”
“I’d be happier if you told me what happened with JJ that was bad enough to make you act like this,” she countered, raising her brows expectantly.
“I told you it was just a disagreement.”
“And I told you not to lie to me.”
You averted your gaze from hers. It wasn’t like you wanted to be dishonest with her, but it was better than the truth.
“You said you don’t wanna spend the night in your room,” you said, rising to your feet. “So… what do you want to do? You get to pick.”
“There’s a party tonight at the Boneyard,” Kiara declared. Evidently she’d already had a plan prepared. “And we’re going.”
Getting dressed with Kie actually helped to uplift your mood. You were both determined to pick out nice outfits for the other, and thankfully you’d left enough clothes at her house to have options.
You ended up in a cute crop top and some jean shorts. Dressing in the summer was always easy.
“Pope just texted me and said he, JJ, and John B are all going,” Kiara informed, reading off her phone as you made your way to her jeep. “You good with that?”
You wanted to see JJ. Even if he was pissed at you, you still missed him. You wanted a chance to talk to him, to explain what happened and admit a few things you had yet to fully accept.
“Yeah,” you replied, climbing into the passenger side. “Good with me.”
You and Kiara arrived with a wave of newcomers spilling onto the beach. The party was really getting started now.
Wandering around the beach, you kept an eye out for JJ. The sound of his voice traveling, blonde hair—something. Him being out of your sight was something of a new occurrence. After about ten minutes of trailing behind Kie as she talked to people and got a drink, you began to doubt he was even coming.
He was definitely avoiding you, and you decided you weren’t very much in a party mood after that.
You were about to ask Kie to leave until a familiar face approached.
“Long time no see,” John B teased, a smile on his face at the sight of you and Kie. “I missed you guys.”
Kie put a hand on her hip. “And here I thought you went to the dark side.”
She was referring to his boss—Kiara didn’t talk about it much, but you knew she wasn’t a fan of Ward Cameron’s daughter, Sarah. John B working for the family wasn’t her favorite thing.
“Very funny,” John B dismissed sarcastically. Thankfully Kie didn’t seem to mean it as much as she had in the beginning. John B fixed his gaze on you, and he took on a more thoughtful expression. “You got a second?”
You glanced to Kie, and she gave you a nod to say it was fine to leave her alone. You offered John B a smile. This conversation was coming too, it was just a matter of when.
“Yeah, sure.”
John B tried to find somewhere less crowded, but that wasn’t really an option unless you wanted to totally ditch and go into the woodsy area of the beach, but that seemed inconvenient. You ended up sitting next to one another on a big tree trunk that had fallen horizontally. People were milling around, but they were more distracted by the keg a few yards away. No one would be paying attention to either of you, much less eavesdropping.
“So, what’s up?” you asked when you sat down.
“We haven’t really had a chance to talk since a few nights ago,” John B started, a shyness to him that you usually didn’t hear directed at you.
You watched as he ran his hands over his knees, searching for what to add.
“I wasn’t avoiding you or anything,” you told him, trying to ease his nerves. “I’ve just been busy with Kie.”
“I know, I didn’t think you were.” John B gave you a small smile before he continued. “I don’t know how to say it right but I’m gonna try anyway,” he decided, meeting your eyes. “Your friendship means a lot to me… and so does JJ’s. And as big of a crush as I have on you, I don’t wanna risk losing either of you over it.”
“That’s mature of you,” you said, trying to not react at the mention of JJ.
“Recently I’ve been forced to think about what’s important to me, y’know?”
At the vague reference to his father, you tried to not retreat into your own mind about all the “what-if’s” in life. With everything going on you hadn’t thought about your mom’s situation in a while. In a strange way it was somewhat a relief, but you’d prefer to not have anything going wrong the way it had been.
“I think it’s for the best,” you agreed, honestly more relieved than you imagined yourself feeling. “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you.”
John B chuckled at the flattery before saying, “You just make sure to tell her that, alright?”
It was your turn to laugh at his teasing tone.
“You got it.” You meant what you said about him. “I’m glad we talked.” You found yourself in a better mood than you had been all day.
“We should find Kie before she thinks we’re getting into trouble,” John B commented. “And, for the record, I am too. Happy we talked.”
You gave him a smile at that. “She’ll survive,” you replied to the former statement, but looked out in front of you nonetheless, trying to spot the other girl.
You caught a glimpse of blonde hair instead.
JJ.
It was definitely him. You’d recognize him anywhere from his walk to his clothes, and you just had a feeling in your gut. It was him, but he disappeared into the crowd as soon as you saw him.
Your heart skipped in your chest. You got to your feet, everything else forgotten in that brief moment.
“You good?” John B questioned, clearly sensing your urgency.
You turned and plastered on a smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied. “We can split up and look for Kie—divide and conquer and all that.”
“It shouldn’t be too hard… okay, then,” John B trailed off, half chuckling behind you as you took off in the direction you swore JJ went.
If it wasn’t him, you must’ve been delusional.
Your heart continued to race as you found JJ at a keg, filling up a cup. So it had been him. Nice to know you weren’t losing your mind with longing that you imagined it. You never quite pictured this for yourself when it came to JJ, but as badly as you wanted to run to him, your feet were heavy.
Now or never, right?
You managed to walk up to him before he could lift the cup to his lips (and before you could freeze back in place) and he spotted you. You couldn’t quite place the look on his face, but it was more hurt than angry.
He stayed in place when you stopped across from him, but the way he glanced away from you told you that you had to talk fast.
“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been looking for you.”
JJ scoffed, shaking his head, drink forgotten.
“You must have me mixed up with John B,” he mocked. “Although good job, ‘cause you found him.”
“We were just talking,” you defended.
“Right, sure.”
“I’m serious, okay?” you implored while he gulped down his drink. “We’re just friends.”
“Well, good for you.” JJ dropped his cup to the ground as he began to walk away, not even giving you a chance to answer his question that followed. “Is that all?”
You watched him for a second, a frown working its way onto your lips. You saw his shoulders slouch as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.
You snapped into action and followed after him.
“No, it’s not,” you rushed out, trying to fall in line with his steps through the sand but remaining a few behind him. Finally, you reached out and grabbed his arm when you realized he wasn’t going to stop. “Can you just hear me out?”
JJ turned, looking at your hand on his arm before meeting your eyes. You missed that shade of blue. You let out a sigh when your pleading worked. You saw it on his face before he said anything.
“Fine,” he agreed, keeping his guard up. “Talk.”
You glanced around, noticing the people in the surrounding area. You swallowed.
“Can we go somewhere alone?” you asked, knowing you couldn’t say everything you wanted to with all these ears nearby.
JJ led the way into the woodsy area of the beach. Calling it the woods wasn’t really fitting because it wasn’t thick like a forest. It was clusters of palm trees and shrubbery that lined where the beach met dirt, with grass sticking out of the sand. But none of that really mattered, what was important was that it was away from all your peers crowding the shore. It took a minute of walking until you felt like you could talk freely, the only sense of the party nearby being the music faintly filling the air.
JJ stopped and you did too, standing across from him. It felt like there was so much distance between the two of you, even if it was really only a yard or two. You never realized how rarely he left your close proximity until now.
You weren’t sure where to start, so you just… started speaking and prayed the words would come.
“I don’t know what you think you saw, but John B and I really were talking about being just friends. He said my friendship—and yours—mattered too much to mess up, and I don’t even see him like that. I promise, JJ.���
JJ stayed quiet for a moment, but he looked like he believed you.
“Okay,” he said, eyes low as he nodded. “Cool.”
Irritation crept in quickly. “You can give me more than one word answers, you know. I’m trying to be serious with you.”
His eyes flicked up at the sass in your tone.
“What do you want me to say? Thank you for not dating him?” he snarked. “Because thank you, I really do appreciate it, y’know?” His voice was raising and you understood why he’d been so careful with his answers before. “You can’t be with me but hey, at least you won’t be with him!”
You clicked your tongue at his words. You really wanted to have a genuine conversation with him but JJ didn’t seem too keen on that.
“I forgot, you can’t take anything seriously,” you muttered out of annoyance, but he heard you loud and clear.
“Right, yeah, everything is a joke to me. Like when you kissed me the other night—that was so funny,” he shot back, taking a step closer. “What’s also funny is I came here ready to pour my fucking heart out like an idiot to you, and you’re already over it all.”
“What makes you think I’m over any of it?” you accused, throwing his tone right back at him. “You can’t just assume shit and then act like it’s the truth! I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, if it makes you feel any better. But hey—probably not! Because apparently you don’t believe anything I say now, even though I’m telling you that there’s nothing going on with John B and there won’t be! I kissed you, not him, remember?”
You saw JJ’s throat bob as he swallowed, and it made you realize that you had moved forward to close the gap.
“Yeah, I remember,” he finally said, voice much lower than before. “I also remember you changing your mind.”
“I didn’t change my mind,” you confessed, hugging yourself. Now was your chance to try and put words to everything. You had JJ’s attention and even if he looked like he was going to storm off any second, you knew he wouldn’t. You took a breath. “When you kissed me I—I had no idea what to do or think. I didn’t know you felt that way about me and it kinda… I don’t know. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it made me realize that everything we are to each other has never been what it was supposed to be. I didn’t know how to accept that, I guess, and so I did push you away, and I’m sorry. But then at the movie when it was just us I let myself slip up for a minute and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that too.” You took a shaky breath. “And now here we are and I don’t really know where to go from here—I know that’s not fair but I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know what to do.”
JJ’s eyes had stayed on your face through the entire admission, even when you couldn’t meet his gaze. When you finished, you swallowed back tears. You couldn’t quite read the look on his face. You weren’t sure what he was going to say, or what you wanted him to say.
“If I kiss you again are you going to push me away?” he finally asked, a sense of desperation in his voice.
Words almost failed you, but you managed to get out a small, “No.”
That was all it took, and then JJ’s lips were crashing against yours.
Your head spun as you kissed back, not denying yourself what you knew you wanted. Ever since the first kiss, you’d wanted more. You could admit that now.
Your hands fisted in the fabric of JJ’s shirt and pulled him impossibly close. He fell into you eagerly, hands gripping your waist.
His kiss was feverish, hungry to taste you after being denied for so long. You tried not to let your mind drift and instead focused on the now. Everything else could wait, but right now you and JJ had the world to yourselves.
That thought really won when your fingers drifted to the hem of his shirt.
“Is this okay?” you asked softly.
If the heat between the two of you wasn’t so intense, you might’ve laughed at the look on JJ’s face. You might as well have told him he won a million dollars.
“Yeah,” he rushed out. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “Definitely okay.”
With that he leaned back in, lips on yours once more. You let him control the kiss while you focused on removing his shirt. As you pulled it from his body, JJ had to part again. In that instant, you admired him in a way you hadn’t before. Heat rushed through you as he returned to devouring your lips.
JJ’s hands wandered to your shirt, and with a hum against his lips and a nod, you let him pull it from you. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. Neither could you.
In a mess of hands and fabric, you ended up on the ground, naked in JJ’s lap, his knees digging into the sand as he stared up at you. Your body was a temple and he was here to worship.
Curious hands ran across your exposed form and ocean eyes drank you in. You’d never seen such a look of awe on JJ’s face before and you were thrilled by the idea.
“You’re perfect, you know that?” he said, sounding about a second away from losing it. “I mean it.”
Your heart fluttered. Words failed you. You managed a light nod, which caused a smile to spread across his face.
“I love that you think that,” you managed, taking a deep breath. You found his smile, his eyes, his hands on your body—all of it felt right. “I love you, JJ.”
A look crossed JJ’s face. You’d never seen it before. It was more than awe, it was more than disbelief. Adoration. He adored you.
“I love you too,” he said. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with relief. “You—you’re everything to me.” He swallowed. “I never thought I’d get to say that.”
“You can,” you said, voice softer than you’d planned. You lifted your hips. “As much as you want…”
One of JJ’s hands held your hips tight while the other lined himself up. Hungry eyes couldn’t decide between watching your face or watching where your bodies were about to meet as you lowered yourself down into his lap.
The head of his cock pushed through your entrance, drawing a small gasp from you and a groan from JJ. Impatience almost won, but you had to move yourself slowly to be able to take him. Finally, your ass met his thighs and you dropped your head to his shoulder. Your breaths were shaky as you adjusted to the stretch of him fully inside you.
JJ’s hard cock twitched, his hands grabbing at your waist, your hips, your thighs—anything he could get his hands on to try and hold on and pull you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold yourself in place. You took a moment to adjust, but the moment you did, you let him know.
“You can move,” you said softly into his ear.
You felt JJ’s entire body shiver at your words. You nearly smirked. His fingers pressed into your skin and he tried to control himself.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to want me,” JJ said, a thickness to his voice that you found incredibly hot.
You leaned back to meet his lustful gaze. You couldn’t resist teasing him given your position.
“I have a feeling I do.”
You raised yourself up a little and dropped back down, drawing a desperate sound from the blonde as you taunted him.
His tongue ran across his bottom lip, it was damn near mesmerizing. You ran out of time to look because his lips were surging toward yours, but you weren’t complaining.
JJ chuckled at the gasp you let out against his mouth when he forced you onto your back. You welcomed his weight on top of you, your hands running down his muscular chest, taking in every inch of skin you somehow resisted the urge to touch—truly touch—before.
He drew back his hips, leaving only the head inside, then slammed back forward. A moan escaped your lips, and that only spurred JJ on. He repeated the movements again and again. Slow at first, really letting you feel the drag of his thick cock inside of you. The pleasure was so agonizing, but you let him get his fill of teasing you back.
Sooner than later did his desire get the best of him, and you weren’t complaining when JJ picked up the pace. Your hands found his back, nails digging in just enough to make him stifle a moan. His lips found your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to your damp skin. You felt his teeth begin to press in more than once, but he resisted the urge to leave behind evidence.
A curious hand wandered up to JJ’s hair, your finger carding through the soft locks. At a sharp thrust, you gripped, and his hips stuttered.
JJ’s hips snapped repeatedly against yours, flooding your entire being with a pleasure you’d never experienced before. The feel of his cock moving inside of you stirred a need inside of you that you didn’t even know you had.
You were meant for each other, it was clear to you now.
JJ kept thrusting his hips, his lips returning back to yours, devouring you in a hungry kiss. He swallowed down your moans, never letting his lips part from yours for longer than a second as his hips curved into yours.
You were being pushed towards your edge fast. It was as if JJ already knew your body.
“I’m close,” you managed between kisses.
JJ groaned out something you didn’t understand, but you knew he heard you. A skilled hand snaked its way between your bodies to find your clit. Your thighs clenched around his waist as a gasp leapt from you.
Your whole body felt overheated, like you’d melt from the inside out. JJ’s cock moving inside of you paired with the weight of his body on top of yours and the needy way his lips sought after yours between breathless sounds worked together to draw you closer and closer to release. All of your senses were flooded by him and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
JJ wasn’t any better off than you, you could tell with the way his hips slammed into yours and his ragged breathing that he was close.
“JJ…” you moaned out his name as the knot in your belly finally snapped. “Fuck!” you cursed in a whimper as your body tightened around him, not wanting to let him go as you rode out your orgasm.
His lips parted from yours so he could watch your face. Your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw dropped as you shook. You could feel his eyes never leaving your expression even as you were blinded to it.
Thrusts became rougher, more desperate as he chased his edge. The sound of skin against skin synced up with your heart pounding in your own ears. JJ was saying something but you couldn’t hear. Your nails dug into his back as he finally shoved his hips against yours and let go.
A shiver of pleasure ran down your spine as warmth flooded your insides. You held onto him tight as he jerked inside you, giving you everything he had.
You opened your eyes and the sight of pure ecstasy on his face made your body quiver. A moan tore from deep in his throat as he reacted. You licked your lips before pulling him down into a kiss. It was sloppy and tired and the best kiss you’d ever had.
After a long moment, JJ forced himself to part from you. He smiled to himself as he made some joke about not wanting to smother you, but you wouldn’t have minded. He grinned even wider when you said that.
In the aftermath, you forgot where you were. As you sat up, evidence of what had just transpired dripping between your thighs, you looked to JJ. Beside you he mirrored your position, sitting up, facing you. He looked just as wrecked as you were sure you looked, but it was beautiful.
All you could do was smile. So this is what being in love with JJ felt like. You could get used to it.
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I'm gonna start by saying that your fics are amazing! I love the way you write and I always get immersed in them. I would like to request an Osamu x reader fic, i was thinking about a childhood friends pining for a decade!au happening while working in his Onigiri shop, you might add Suna if you want,perhaps as a love triangle and misunderstandings as in Osamu thinking that the reader like Suna. As for the smut, I'll leave that to you 👀
thank you so much for supporting!! i love getting these requests and hearing from you! it really helps. not gonna lie, this one challenged me, but i think it turned out well! hope i got this right :) thanks again for the request love
warnings. lite!nsfw. minors DNI
info. hq lite!nsfw / safe consent practices / mutual pining / some angst, some hurt, but pay-off / husband material!osamu / timeskip!osamu / childhood friends to lovers / miscommunication / r.i.p suna's unrequited feelings / misunderstandings / osamu gives great hugs / osamu is a wine snob / osamu is a little shy / 2.5k words
🤍haikyuu collection. more of my hq here
more links. my ao3 / masterlist / request box is open so give me some ideas pls!
Your heart gave an all-too familiar squeeze at the sight of an old friend.
There he was, clad in a black cap, apron, and a well-fitting shirt. His face was one of slight concentration, his mouth in a straight line, jaw flexed. A strong arm lifted the black bag he carried high into the trash in the alley with ease.
"'Samu!" His nickname was like a sigh of reassurance on your tongue.
He turned, a stern face letting up as soon as he recognized you coming towards him. He quickly discarded his gloves in the trash and made forward to meet you. It ended in a hug in the middle of the sidewalk.
Business was so slow today, he really wasn't expecting any surprises- especially not any pleasant ones.
"(Y/n)." Was a mumble against your hair, charged relief on his breath. He was lifting you off of your feet and melting into you at the same time.
Your eyes stung a little when you tucked your face into his comforting shoulder. It'd been so long since graduation, but everything was coming back to you, all at once, against your will.
Maybe it was because you could still taste the onigiri you just finished, but those lunches he used to prepare for you kept cropping up. You weren't sure why it kept making you want to cry, though.
"I missed you!" You whispered, swallowing a sob.
He gave you a crushing squeeze in return. He certainly hadn't stopped working out since your high school days. There was a hesitation in letting each other go.
"God," His quick blinking made you feel better for getting emotional, "What are you doin' all the way out here?"
You sniffled and turned to Suna, briefly forgotten at the table, "I told you those fillings tasted familiar!"
There was an unmistakable shock in Osamu's eyes when you turned back to him, "We were just grabbing lunch. I had no idea 'Onigiri Miya' would actually mean you!"
He missed the natural beat to respond- instead of letting your declaration die, you kept up the attempt to rekindle things.
"Did you get a new number?" You asked, quieter, trying to catch his eye, so you leaned your head further between him and Suna.
He looked down at you with a much softer expression, "Hm?"
"I- texted you a couple months ago, I just assumed you got a- new number," You trailed.
It felt a bit forced and loser-esque to ask the reason why he hadn't texted you back. Two months was a while to get 'caught up' in something, after all.
If he didn't want to talk to you, he technically didn't owe you an explanation.
He blinked. It didn't cross his mind that you would've texted him-- his fingers fumbled for his phone in his pocket to show you a new iPhone.
"Yeah," He sighed, "Shit, I didn't think to tell anyone but 'Sumu..."
This time, he felt like the loser. He didn't have many people to text, nowadays. But he certainly didn't want you and Suna to know that.
Relief flashed across your face as you admitted in a light laugh, "Oh, thank god. I really thought you were ignoring me!"
"Let's all exchange numbers," You suggested.
You looked back to Suna and thought you saw some hostility in his eyes, "So we can all meet up sometime, when you're not working."
The process of getting each other's contacts was quiet and stilted. You thought better of making plans here and now, because there was an indescribable feeling that something was wrong.
Maybe the timing.
Osamu frowned at his phone after getting it back from Suna.
Maybe the place.
Suna gave a subtle sigh when Osamu put his number in.
Your text to Osamu that night garnered a response so quick that it made up for the months of uncertainty and pseudo-grieving. Your oldest friendship was not buried as deep in the ground as you had previously thought.
It ended in a suggestion you weren't expecting.
There was nowhere you both wanted to eat at, and no activities you could think of that would allow for the long conversations you both favored.
I could cook for us.
You knew better than to deny him the chance to cook, but it was clear to both of you that it felt a little too forward. A little too intimate for just two good friends.
That wasn't enough to keep you from agreeing immediately.
Certain that he didn't feel the same, you rationalized that you had nothing to worry about.
Dark red swirled slow, unending circles in your glass. You weren't one for red, but he brought out a vintage just for you tonight.
The perfectly plated dinner in front of you didn't last long. Osamu made it so easy to like foods you swore up and down you hated; you didn't question his choices despite your usual pickiness.
There were a number of times you had to pretend not to notice him watching you eat. He was pretty obvious, because he'd raise his spoon full of food, then let it hover mid-air, and turn his whole head to watch you chew. It was as if he was waiting for you to declare it was the worst thing you'd ever tasted.
He was still working on his -most likely cold- plate minutes after you cleaned yours off. It left you to catch up to him in glasses of wine. The bottle was nearing empty and you were still on your first.
"Do you have any roommates?" You asked, glancing around a spacious apartment.
It was so still. You'd surely die of loneliness, if you were him.
He shook his head. It made sense with his preference for solitude, but it still made you sit back and sip on your wine to keep from voicing your concern.
"It's quiet," Osamu wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his plate forward, "I know."
Was your discomfort that obvious?
His chuckling won out over your insistence that it wasn't that bad, and you eventually were resolved back to slouching in your chair again.
"You just need some- flowers," You motioned to the center of the table, not believing in your advice in the slightest, "Or... something like that."
"To be fair, I never sit at the table."
He poured the last of the wine into his glass. You stared down at yours. He still spoke and acted stone-cold sober. You had to wonder how much he drank, with this bleak living space.
"Not a fan of Merlot?"
This was getting a little embarrassing.
This time, you gave in, "Not feeling this one as much."
His brow raised. He had a layered expression, like he was torn between two sides of himself for a split-second.
He eased up and slid his elbows on the table, wine glass looking absurdly tiny in his hand.
You admired the gentle way he held the delicate glass, how he knew just how the weight was supposed to be distributed in the webs of his fingers.
"You drink wine much?" He had that completely immersed look on his face that was always so difficult to return.
He mistook your trouble to return his gaze as discomfort, and laughed, retracting his body from the table, "I-'m sorry--,"
"No-no it's okay-!" You put your hand on his arm and scooted your chair closer to affirm that you didn't mind his proximity -that you in fact welcomed it- and rambled, "I- don't, drink wine like that. So I- wouldn't really know what's good."
His gaze sent a shiver surging through your whole body. What an intense pair of eyes. He leaned forward on his elbows, thumb rubbing his freshly shaved cheek.
"It's an expensive hobby."
You were wracking up inappropriate questions by the second. First, the lack of love in his sad apartment, then his potential alcohol issues, now his salary.
The quiet clink of his glass on the table. A heavy, warm hand stilled yours on his arm, and he caught your troubled gaze.
"But it's just a hobby," He smiled.
The apartment filled with shared laughter. You were getting read like an open book, you couldn't help but cool your face down with the back of your hand.
"I-I promise, I'm not trying to judge," You sighed and grinned at what you noticed as his slightly tipsy giggling, "I just... care about you."
Osamu took a breath to say something, but something else flickered across across his face.
His hand was starting to slip from yours.
"So, you and Suna again?"
You laughed at what you thought was a joke. He didn't return it; instead, he let go and took another big sip from his almost empty glass.
"Oh-," You realized he was mistaken, "We're not together."
"Mm!" He swallowed and laughed, "Oh- that's good."
His focus faltered with a small cough, "I mean, not good, but-,"
"That's not something I want to go back to," You saved his embarrassing admission gracefully and looked away, only thinking about that short-lived relationship in high school.
Suna was just a distraction. A temporary filler for your unbearable emptiness. You never stopped loving Osamu, even when you had everyone else fooled. In the end, Suna just made you miss your friend more, since it sparked an unspoken drift in the process. It wasn't one of your brightest moments.
The look on his face was asking for more information. A 'So... why?' was on the tip of his tongue. You saved him the breath.
"He reached out. I was free, and I wanted to make sure we were alright after things ended like that."
Osamu nodded slowly, swirling half a sip of wine in his glass with careful consideration.
"You talk about it like you never liked him," He sighed against the rim, then shot it back in a way that made you realize why he was drinking so much.
He didn't have the courage to talk to you like this without it.
Your thumb, still resting on his forearm, rubbed thoughtfully. If he was being this candid through his actions, you didn't mind coming clean about a few things.
"I didn't," You admitted in a breathy half-laugh, "It wasn't real to me."
You shut your eyes tight and seethed, "I know that sounds so cruel--,"
"Yeah," He chuckled.
"Okay- I meant it like..." Your thumb was tapping on his raised skin, "I needed a distraction. You know I was struggling. He really was sweet. I know I should've treated him better."
It was clear that there was no hero to the story. You were all flawed, to some degree. Osamu's hand returned to yours. This time, he squeezed.
"You know I don't judge you for that."
All things considered, that break-up was still fresh. It was only briefly before your graduation date.
"Hey-," He reached up to turn your head towards him. It was a bit much and left you both warm and fidgety, "You know that I know that you're a good person."
His hand fell to your forearm.
It was fleeting, but you felt an energy between you. It was different. It filled that space in your heart you'd long since carved out for him.
Fleeting must be reiterated, because it was gone in an instant as he cleared his throat and stood, collecting the dishes in one trip with skill you could only attribute to the nature of his work.
You chugged the rest of your wine with a shudder so it wouldn't go to waste and skittered after his swift movement towards the kitchen.
If there was any place in the house that didn't feel lifeless, it was the kitchen. Spacious and clean, sure, but every tool and appliance here was cared for and used often.
It distracted you to slow down.
There was a level of respect you felt was necessary for a space so important to Osamu.
He began washing the dishes.
"Please let me do something," You begged from behind him.
All you got was a stoic head shake.
You leaned on the countertop behind him, staring at his back in that clean, black shirt. Would you ever get over him?
His words and actions from tonight turned over in your head. That hug you shared yesterday afternoon made your hands slip from the counter.
It may have been the wine that inspired your resolve to actually follow through, but your motivation did have years of pent-up desire behind it.
His body stiffened at the feeling of your arms around his waist, the side of your face pressed against his warm back. He smelled like a woody, musky cologne.
"Thank you," You muttered, mostly for his kind words, but its roots extended much farther than just recent events.
The sound of the water shutting off encouraged you to loosen your grip. The doubt started settling in as he dried his hands with a hanging towel, wordless.
His hands just barely grazed yours as you retracted, heart racing at the fact that you couldn't take that back.
He turned around to face you. Your eyes were busy avoiding his, so you were taken by surprise when he leaned down to pick you up from the waist.
It was just as easy and comfortable as the first time-- his shoulders spacious enough to bury yourself in, his hold so secure you didn't have to spare any strength holding on. He could support you all day.
A breathy groan, like he was a settling house, brushed your ear and sent tingles down your spine.
He set you down, but guided your arms to stay around his neck. You looked back and forth between his eyes, no longer unsure about his feelings.
"I missed you so much."
He was a clumsy kisser, but you didn't mind.
His hands were skilled and sure. It was more than enough to make up for his hungrier, rather than soft kisses.
One kept you steady by the back of your head, the other taking up your entire shoulder to guide you backwards against the kitchen island.
He rendered you breathless quickly- you pulled away for just a moment and he took it as a good sign to lift you up onto the countertop.
No part of you questioned this intense show of affection-- it felt like a fitting release of years-long tension and unspoken feelings.
They still remained unspoken, for the most part, but it could wait.
His hips pushed hard against your own, eliciting a soft, fluttery sound against his mouth.
He ate it up, wanting another so bad that one hand grabbed at the bend in your hip and thigh to keep you against him.
Your tummy twisted in a mixture of delightful pleasure and desire, everything below your waist all giddy and jittery as his fingers squeezed your hips with a need you never knew he was harboring.
Thighs trembling with nerves, his steady grasp pushing down helped to calm and stall you. You caught your breath with your forehead pressed against his. You unhooked your legs.
"W-hat?" You swallowed, praying to God this wasn't some mistake.
His wine-flushed face answered your question with no response.
"We shouldn't...I'm not--," He bit his cheek at his own restraint, brow tight with regret at his own actions from earlier.
You nodded, a little buzzed yourself, and laughed at his concern, "I'm okay with just kissing."
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Ray of Sunshine
Spencer Agnew x Reader
Request: Hi, can we have one like the Damien Haas imagine Stressful Days but with Spencer?
A/N i apologize that it has taken me forever to get this one up. I also apologize for it being super duper short. I have been struggling writing some things and honestly this was one of them because i have been having a bit of a tough time and didn’t really know how to help myself. This made me really step back and made me realize, I need to take care of myself more. I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t like this one. I have written better things. I might just be too tough on myself but I hope you enjoy this though:) also, please remember. I fucking hate editing things. I edited this as best as I could lmao
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Spencer felt like something was off today with his partner and he couldn’t tell what. You would usually send him goofy stuff throughout the day but today, you had only sent him a good morning text. A few hours passed by and Spencer sent you a text, asking if everything was okay. You had responded with a, “yeah:)” but he felt like that was a lie. It was driving him insane because he was stuck at work and wanted to be able to help you.
Little did Spencer know, you were stuck at home on the couch. You had called off from work for the day and was just laying there staring at the ceiling. You had attempted to clean up and even cook for yourself but you just simply couldn’t do anything for yourself. You got frustrated at one point, yelled, threw the rag on the counter, and went and jumped on the couch. You knew that Spencer was worried about you but you didn’t know how to vocalize that you just weren’t all there mentally.
Work was just draining you so much. You worked at a place you were not happy at. Spencer had offered to help you get a position at Smosh plenty of times but you turned him down each time. You didn’t want to crash together, work and a relationship; it just didn’t feel right to you. Everyone at your workplace was so unbelievably negative. They were so rude to you and just took out so much on you.
“Goooooooooooooooooood.” You groaned throwing a pillow over your face.
You had thought about maybe taking a shower, maybe that would help you? While getting up, your phone had buzzed, so you sat there and looked at your phone.
spence<3 : would you want to go for food when i get off work?
You smiled and responded.
you: could we maybe get takeout and just sit in the car and eat?
He didn’t respond right away, so you decided on taking a long shower.
You had turned on music and got in to just metaphorically drown your worries away.
Around twenty minutes had passed and your phone goes off. You reached out of the shower and dried your hand off, so you could grab your phone.
spence<3 : hey, i got off early. I just went ahead and got take out and brought it over. I’m here right now but don’t feel like you have to rush in the shower. Take your time<3
Right after you finished reading the text, you heard a light knock at the door.
“Hey babe, is it okay that I just came on over? I didn’t know if you wanted alone time today or something.” Spencer shouted through the door.
“Spencer, honey. I always want you around. I’ve been done for a while, so just let me dry off. I’ll be out in a second.” You responded after turning the water off. “The door is unlocked, if you want to open it.” You said after wrapping a towel around you.
You were in the process of fixing your hair out of your face whenever Spencer opened the door.
“Hey pretty thing. What’s been going on with you today?” Spencer asked walked up behind you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders.
“I’m just so mentally drained.” You said trying to laugh but it fell flat. “Work has been killing me. I’ve been looking for a new place but can’t find anywhere’s.”
“I heard some of the people over at Mythical are looking for assistants. It’s not the same company, so we wouldn’t be working together. You could apply and I could talk to someone? Maybe put a good word in?” Spencer suggested then placed a quick kiss on the side of your head.
“Maybe, I dunno. Can we just talk about it in a little bit?” You asked, looking at him in the mirror while feeling tears welling in your eyes.
“Of course. I got some little treeeeats for a little guy in the living room.” Spencer said stepping
You turned around and just stared at Spencer for a second then pulled at his arms, so he would open them. He opened them and just yanked you into a tight hug. You stood there for a minute with your face in his chest.
“As much as I love you and love holding you, I am so hungry.” Spencer whispered while you just giggled into his chest.
“Let’s go eat then you goober.”
The two of you walked into the living room and you could’ve cried. Your apartment wasn’t that much of a mess but it had gotten a little messy since you haven’t had the energy to be a human. While you were in the shower, he had picked up all of your trash, thrown your clothes and stuff into the washer, and put your dishes into the dishwasher. He also had your favorite flowers sitting in a vase on the table in front of your couch.
You just froze and didn’t know what to say. “I thought maybe I would help you clean up a little. I know you usually use cleaning as a way to de-stress. So, I knew something was up whenever I came in and saw you had random things laying around. I just thought maybe it would boost your mood a little if I helped you out then got some food in you.” Spencer said from beside you with an awkward smile on his face and shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” You asked while sitting down and opening the pizza box that was sat in front of you.
“I have a little bit of an idea.” Spencer responded and chuckled a little. “Whenever we get done eating, would you want to go riding around? We could go to that area that overlooks some of the city and get ice cream or something?”
You just nodded your head while stuffing your mouth with pizza.
The two of you sat on the couch for a little while, eating loads of pizza and watched your favorite movie.
It’s so funny because any time someone tells you that they are mentally drained, they want alone time. They don’t want to be around others and just want to rot in bed all day. You used to be that person.
After you met Spencer, you only ever wanted him around whenever you felt down.
He felt like rays of sunshine after a rainy, horrible day.
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I really hate how Garroth's betrayal is treated, but more specifically what caused it. An illusion of Laurance and Aphmau kissing? Really? That was enough to make you betray both of them?
Y'know what would have been more thematically interesting, less shitty-trope-focused, and have the potential for interesting parallels with other characters?
If he saw something indicating that Aphmau was going to hand him and/or Laurance over to Garte for the siege to be called off.
And Garroth being Garroth, he immediately starts catastrophising. There's no way his father would stop at getting just him and Laurance. It would be them, then Kaitlyn, then Lucinda, then Dante and Nicole, until the town was left defenseless, and then they'd attack. And Aphmau would have to marry Zane and it's only a matter of time before that gets her killed or worse. He knows how his father thinks, and it's not a stretch to say that Garte was behind the invasion, and Zane was only to put an intimidating face on it without technically being directly involved.
It's especially easy to believe that if you're an older brother who's desperately trying to grasp at straws for reasons your only remaining little brother is still a good person.
And then there's also that gut-wrenching terror of going back to his marriage with Scaleswind. Of giving up his friends, his calling, and -let's face it- his own bodily autonomy. If he goes back, he is nothing. He exists to keep quiet, produce an heir, and smile for portraits. With the things he did to get away, there's no chance he could be lord now. It's that or execution.
And Laurance doesn't even have that option. And he's a Shadowknight. Even if he DIDN'T have the extensive record of openly opposing O'kasis he would be on death row.
But then Zane gives him a counter-offer.
Garroth comes quietly, hands over an amulate that hadn't done Phoenixdrop any good anyway -Zane insists he only wants it for an unrelated project, and even so isn't that a nessecery risk?- and the rest of the town -including Aphmau, Laurance, and Kaitlyn- go free.
And he doesn't even have to go back to the marriage. In fact, he can even still be a guard, just for O'kasis.
If he only agrees to follow Zane.
Look me in the eye and tell me Garroth wouldn't accept that offer.
And of course, Zane betrays this deal immediately when all the people he wants to get rid of convieniently land in front of him. And Garroth trys to say this wasn't the deal, and Zane does not care.
"Aww, Big brother. The only lie I told you was that you were an important enough piece to change the rules. You were never even a player."
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Comfort (Isaac x reader)
Summary: When you’re feeling down, Isaac easily picks up and tries to help you.
Words: 1125
Tags: descriptions of anxiety, sadness, and the feeling of inadequacy; hurt with comfort; established relationship.
Notes: had an existential crisis reading Fi’s fic and wanted Isaac to hug me. I’m good, and the fic is very good too. Go read it, go go!
Isaac isn’t the best at reading people’s expressions, understanding how they feel, or dealing with their emotions — or his own. However, when you’re on the line, he gets a little better.
Ever since you got close, he has learned a little about how to read your reactions — what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Tonight, he doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but when you’re clearing the dishes after dinner, he swears he sees a shadow pass over your face. It lasts for a second, and he thinks he’s probably seeing something that doesn’t exist, but it still bugs him.
When he invites you to go to the garden and stargaze together, you politely refuse with a smile and say you’re tired. He tries really hard to believe it, to brush it off as him being paranoid, but he’s grown too good at reading you, and he can clearly see your smile isn’t reaching your eyes like usual.
He doesn’t say a thing, just nods and smiles back, saying you can meet another time. But your face stays engraved in his mind. Your eyes don’t shine like usual, your smile is weak, barely there, and your voice is lower. So when you turn around to go to your room, Isaac turns to go to the kitchen. He isn’t sure if you’d want to eat, but a hot tea would probably be welcomed — or so he hopes.
The moment the door closes behind you, your face falls. With a tired sigh, you drag your feet until you reach your bed, flopping down onto it without even taking off your shoes. You feel this sensation growing inside you, making you numb while simultaneously hurting. It grips your heart, enveloping it in a dark shadow, like clouds turning the sky gray before it rains.
Another tired sigh, and you turn around, staring at the ceiling while feeling your soul turn into nothing again. You’re accustomed to life in the 19th century, happily smiling beside the residents, basking in the love they all give you… in the love Isaac gives you. You almost forgot about the void inside you; it’s been a while since you last felt like this. But you knew it was only a matter of time. You could feel it slowly growing…
After you burned breakfast. After you forgot to close the door, and the wind slammed it shut, startling everyone. After you dropped Isaac’s telescope while trying to help him. After you tripped and almost fell on your face, making everyone worried and run to help you. After you tried to take the umbrella to Isaac at the university when you realized he had forgotten it at home, but the storm caught you halfway, leaving you with a broken umbrella, soaking wet, and your boyfriend taking care of you while you were sick.
After…
After…
After every mistake, every stupid decision, every little accident… Were all these things really accidents? Or was it just you being helpless as usual?
You made up excuses after helping Sebastian with the dishes and went back to your own bedroom, but you were sure some of them picked up on what happened. You tried to muster up a smile to calm them down, but you could feel their gazes, especially Isaac’s.
Three knocks on your door and a soft, well-known voice calls your name from the other side, as if summoned by your thoughts. Your eyes widen slightly, and you wonder if you can stay quiet, pretending to already be asleep. You hear a low mumble; Isaac is probably thinking exactly that, and your heart clenches. You could never lie to him, and you’re up on your feet in a matter of seconds.
The door opens suddenly and frantically, startling the vampire in the hallway. His eyes widen for a second, then soften when he sees you.
“I brought tea,” he says softly, lifting the mugs as if to emphasize his point. You only stare at him, and then at the mugs. “I thought you’d like it… But it’s okay if you don’t want it. I-I… can also just leave the tea and leave you alone, if that’s what you want.” He starts to panic when you don’t show any reaction.
But your eyes turn to his, those cherry-blossom colored eyes that you love, and you take a step to the side and gesture for him to enter the room, which he readily complies with.
You sit side by side on your bed, drinking the tea in comfortable silence, your fingers laced from when you reached for him moments ago. When you finish the tea, he places both mugs on your nightstand and turns to look at you. His free hand brushes your hair away from your face and gently caresses your cheekbones. You can tell he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what or how, so he remains silent.
“Thank you,” you whisper, reaching for his hand on your face and holding it tight, drawing it closer.
“You don’t need to thank me for that,” he says, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, and leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you. I’ll do anything for you.”
“I love you too,” you reply, closing your eyes, a sigh escaping your lips.
Isaac smiles softly and gives you a light kiss on your forehead. He kicks his shoes off and reaches for your feet, removing yours. Slowly and gently, he leans backward, pulling you with him so you both lie down on the mattress. He swiftly pulls the blanket from underneath you and covers both of you, his arms embracing you as soon as he makes sure you’re cozy.
You nuzzle your face into his collarbone, a sigh leaving your lips. His fingers start to caress your back, tracing random shapes that seem to relax you even more in his embrace. His scent, his warmth, the steady beating of his heart, his breathing, his tender touch… Everything about Isaac makes you feel good, relaxed, and calm. Even his cherry-blossom colored eyes, which you can’t see now, have a way of making you feel comfortable, loved, and cared for.
You feel a faint light in your heart, a silver lining in the darkness. Your eyes slowly close, and your body melts into his.
Isaac kisses the top of your head and smiles softly, relieved that you seem to be slowly feeling better. He hopes you can talk to him about whatever is troubling you, but he is patient; he can wait until you’re ready. For now, he can offer his warmth and his love, praying that it can be helpful — unaware of the effect he has on you.
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73 Yards
I have slightly mixed feelings on this one, but what it did well it did brilliantly. The episode was beautifully shot with a fantastically creepy atmosphere throughout. The Welsh landscape, the close shots, the out of focus semper distans, the mystery of what was being said. Millie Gibson's performance throughout was stellar and this is the most invested I've felt in her character so far. I did miss Ncuti's presence somewhat, but it says a lot that she was able to carry the episode on her own and I do love when the format gets shaken up occasionally and we get a Doctor-lite episode.
I loved Kate's brief appearance and the way it sold the fact that this was a very serious situation. You think UNIT might be able to help here, but Ruby is once again left alone. The themes of abandonment in this one were incredibly potent and really tie into the themes of the series. Unsurprisingly, one of the most effective and upsetting parts of the episode was Ruby's mum also being affected by the mysterious woman. Her anguished screams for her mum were really quite harrowing, as was that awful comment about her birth mother not wanting her.
It also got far darker than I would expect in a Doctor Who episode. The far-right politician and the threat of nuclear war was plenty, but what was done to Marti was absolutely chilling, as was Ruby's apology for not doing anything. It gets away with it because it's all through implication, but that almost makes it more hard hitting. You don't always need to see the monster in action to know what it's doing. It also reminds me of my much younger self not picking up on the Master beating Lucy Saxon until I was a teenager.
The way time began to speed along was actually quite shocking to begin with - I actually gasped when we saw the 25th birthday cards - and it kept bringing to mind various other episodes where companions have been abandoned either in the real world or another timeline/reality, especially things like The Girl Who Waited, Turn Left, Forest of the Dead, The Lie of the Land, World Enough and Time etc. That things get undone at the end was again a little reminiscent of a few of them, but this is also where we come to my criticisms of the episode, because - while I loved the experience of watching it - the ending feels tacked on in a way that is very unsatisfying.
There were a number of things that just never get explained. For a minor example, why did the Doctor disappear? Disturbing the fairy circle released Mad Jack (I'll come onto him) and also made the Doctor disappear? And also made the TARDIS lock in a way that couldn't be opened with Ruby's key? I'm not as bothered by this as the below, but it feels messy and like an attempt to do a Turn Left without an actual reason for the Doctor to be gone.
A bigger gripe is Ruby being the following lady. That on its own would have been fine, but that combined with other elements just frustrates me. Mainly, if the following lady was Ruby, what is it she says to get people to run away? I don't mind things being left to the imagination - for instance, I quite like that we don't get an explanation for why she has to be 73 yards away; I can infer that that's got something to do with the fairy circle - but it appears that whatever she says specifically makes people think there's something horrifying about Ruby.
What could Old Ruby possibly say to that end and why would she? And why would the same thing make a Prime Minister resign? If we had never found out who she was, I would have been perfectly happy to infer that she was a force of some kind that drives people mad, but it's Ruby! Knowing who she is but not what she does or how or why she does it is the worst way round. I want to know neither or both, or possibly the latter but not the former, but this way round just frustrates me.
On that note, the friend I was watching with pointed out that, as she was dying, elderly Ruby had very short hair and suddenly has long hair when she becomes the semper distans lady. A small detail, perhaps, but one that further muddles the conclusion. Why did her hair change? Where did the coat come from? It's a different actress as well and, even at that distance, you can kind of tell. Did Old Ruby just end up embodying an existing spirit to do with the fairy circle? If so, I would have liked that to be a lot clearer. If not, why does she look so different?
Okay, so, Mad Jack. Who or what is Mad Jack? Is he a spirit of some kind that possesses Roger ap Gwilliam? Was he always Roger ap Gwilliam? Does Roger ap Gwilliam exist without him? If Roger ap Gwilliam does not exist without Mad Jack, how come the Doctor still mentions him? If Roger ap Gwilliam does exist without Mad Jack, what is changed by the Doctor stepping on the fairy circle?
In the version of the timeline we end up on (where the Doctor doesn't step in the fairy circle but Roger ap Gwilliam is still mentioned by him as a dangerous Prime Minister), here are a few possibilities and why they don't work for me:
Does he still become Prime Minister and get taken down another way? Perhaps, but it's not like Turn Left where we know the problems would have been stopped by the Doctor (who's not here). Without Ruby's infiltration and semper distans lady, what stops him? And why was that not able to stop him in the timeline we witnessed?
Is he less dangerous? The second time around of the opening conversation we don't get the line about the brink of nuclear war, though only because Ruby interrupts him to point out the woman, but maybe we can infer that this time he's a dangerous Prime Minister but not that dangerous? That seems quite weak and unclear, though, and seems to disregard the horror of the Marti stuff.
Does the timeline only change after the Doctor's comments about him being a dangerous Prime Minister? He does say that before stepping (or not stepping) in the fairy circle both times. I might be happy to assume that Roger ap Gwilliam never comes to power after that diverging moment has passed, except that things have already changed before the Doctor mentions him because Ruby says she's been to Wales three times. Maybe they've changed a bit but not enough until the moment she stops him from stepping on it, but that is not at all clear.
If it's any of these (or none of them), that's really confusing! It's just so messy and unclear. It would have been a simple fix, too! Keep everything the same and just add in a line as they're walking away at the end along the lines of "thank goodness he never got into power; people never found him that convincing". That would have clarified a) things have changed since a few seconds ago b) that Mad Jack is what allowed him to get to power and c) in this timeline, that won't happen and Ruby won't need to stop him.
Despite all my complaints, I did really love watching this episode. It's just so carelessly wrapped up, as if they didn't think about the implications of the otherwise very well told story. I'll be interested to rewatch it and see if my complaints bother me more or less on second viewing. I really want to love this episode because there were so many fantastic elements, but it just makes all the inconsistencies and loose threads and muddled logic particularly frustrating because they were only another draft or two away from being solved.
Misc small things
No theme tune! I feel robbed! Maybe it was meant to be part of the vibe that we're not in the usual timeline, but come on. It could easily have been slotted in when she left the TARDIS the first time or before she got to the pub!
Other episodes I thought of: Extremis with warning other versions of yourself; The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood with waving at future versions of yourself that disappear when things change; Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS with weird timelines and future selves and things being undone; Last Christmas with the companion becoming elderly; Turn Left for the vibes of "there's something on your back"; Under the Lake/Before the Flood with a silent message, since it looked like the woman was trying to sign things to Ruby; and The Sound of Drums/Last of the Timelords with the triple whammy of the companion having to 1) set off on their own to 2) take down a prime minister and 3) have time reverse.
It's also got a good old bootsrap paradox in it, which doesn't bother me in the way of the above complaints, but for the sake of completionism: How was Ruby warned about the future when that future hasn't happened? Would have loved Twelve to briefly pop his head in and explain it for us.
It's interesting that the snow stopped throughout this version of her life. It also seemed to snow while she was on her way to the pub.
Kate's comment about how "this timeline might be suspended along your event" was interesting and I wonder if it connects with the snow stopping.
For the first time I actually recognised Susan Twist when she appeared, but I'm not sure I would have done without Ruby realising she recognised her. I liked that! It felt very Boom Town and recognising Bad Wolf coming up again.
There was a little cameo from Mrs Flood.
#doctor who#73 yards#doctor who spoilers#ruby sunday#right I've spent an hour and a half writing this goddamn review because my complaints were very thorny#and I wanted to phrase them in a way that clearly laid out the problem#it's probably time to go to bed#mine#dw#dwmine#reactions#dwe15#all the way through this one I was so excited to be loving it#just really wish it had stuck the landing#I'll be interested to see other people's reactions to it#is the general opinion aligned with mine or totally different?
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Writing a little rant to my friends helped me realize what types of villains really speak to me, and I guess it’s the type I have jokingly called the “INFP” villain.
Basically this meme:
Lmao, basically the character will be SO mentally ill and fucked up because of things they’ve endured + a very specific collapse of identity, but they refuse to even see it. They think they’re cured and on the right path, they have a brilliant purpose, a well-thought out philosophy behind their motives, but their evil actions are obviously just their overblown reaction to what preceded their mental break. EVERYTHING IS FINE AND I AM DOING THIS FOR A GOOD REASON, TRUST!
*is murdering people*
I think I first started to like it when I watched this Azula scene as a kid. It was too perfect jddhdh. She was my fav for a reason.
Even when I was small, I heard this and thought, “Girl shut the hell up, your entire life is a sob story 💀” but it’s obvious she is so blind that this doesn’t even register in her mind. It’s very human and real.
It’s not even one of those multi-layered complexes you observe in that type of toxic person with a very comfortable and positive life who will say, “I’m one of those people that smiles through the pain” but they say it so much that you start to realize they are pulling some manipulative strings with their audience.
Half the time, the characters like Azula actually believe their own lies about them not being upset about shit and preach these lies so well that other people believe them. People still think Azula was this child who was born evil and sadistic, that she doesn’t give a shit about her family issues, and that she was not shaped into a monstrous fighter that she felt she had to embrace as her image. They forget that she lies constantly, even to herself, and her saying “I really don’t care about my background” is just another falsehood she crafted in her head.
It’s this type of villain that is so high off of their own copium to the point where they can’t see how badly they need help that is most intriguing to me. They commit war crimes out of obvious rage, but noooo, there is a good reason! Look they’re even having fun and laughing about it! They’re having the time of their life!
Them: I’m not wrong! This isn’t personal! It’s for the greater good!
Narrator: It was, in fact, very personal.
That’s also why the traumatic events that shape them are important, but not key! Because in the end, it needs to be clear that this character is capable of choosing the right thing despite their background, but they are so emotionally disturbed that they end up choosing evil with a “moral justification” so that they have an excuse to lash out. They know they shouldn’t lash out, but a mix of lies, manipulation, and ultimately conscious choice lead them to feel comfortable doing it. They WANT to take out their anger on the world, but they can never admit to the obvious reason why.
This is also where the madness comes in, because crafting a new identity or purpose that allows you to feel okay to lash out practically requires a certain level of madness, instability, and delusion. If the character was ever a morally conscious person, they have to completely break off from that rationality to allow themselves to fully embrace cruelty and evil. They have to lose their minds.
This is, to me, also what Jinx does in Arcane when she accepts her “cursed name” as her new identity. She embraces the monster as a shield, which is acknowledged to be a “reborn” version of herself that is stronger than her true self….the broken inner child. She is perhaps the most honest about this choice, but she still fully believes the lie that it’s the right choice, or the superior choice. It also seems to mark the turning point for her madness. You can’t embrace a monstrous persona and not break your mind doing it. Circumstances may help, but overall it’s still something you choose.
In short, a character standing in front of their intentional arson like, “I am no longer mentally ill” is my favorite type of fucked up character lol. Ever. That will win me over every time because it’s too believable and horrible and sad and funny and entertaining all at once.
#i remember….ANY time i would see the mentally unstable character that seemed gleefully evil have a brief moment of real anger or emotion…#…i’d just latch onto them immediately#like “wait what are you hiding there…”#and later it’d be obvious what happened but the character would be dead before they would admit they were ever human enough to be influence#by emotions and pain or anything like that#it was the exact opposite of “you SEE perry the platypus it all began” (i’m kidding skdjdjd)#villains#villain meta#azula#jinx#lowkey carmilla counts for this#carmilla#seph definitely#sephiroth#and a handful of soulsborne villains…i THINK#but those are more up to interpretation#i really get this vibe off of friede tho lolol#sister friede#villain archetypes#writing stuff#CrowNotes
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Hey hope you're doing ok with the recent bnha discourse?
Still holding out hope for shigaraki/tenko and good writing 👍👍
Can I ask you, if you ever find it kind of off-putting (like I do) when some bnha fans commit to the idea that Deku and the other younger heroes will be the ones to change their society for the better, after the villains are killed?
As if purely heroic methods were really capable of changing hero society, when the very best that the innocent people in bnha have done from their constant protectors, the heroes, is toss the hero kids a shirt and some dollar store med. Items??
(To say nothing of the government corruption that came to be under All-might's nose, that Deku and the other heroes haven't thought about once.)
And they honestly believe that's the best outcome...
It feels either very optimistic or unknowing at best, and completely ignorant at worst.
Do you think so or differently?
Oh yeah, no I totally get what you mean; it kinda looks like we’re on course for a lot to get worse actually. And it all comes back to how poorly they handled the villains; both their talking points, and their failure to save them.
We just have not been given any indication that the next gen are going to do anything better than their predecessors; they're ending their arcs side by side with them as equals and partners after all.
Rather than improving things, they're basically a carbon copy of the last generation; which I feel is exemplified in how the final battle of this war ending in a retread of Kamino.
Except like I said, in some areas it feels like it'll just get worse. This retread of Kamino ending not in an arrest, but in a murder; something I find very worrying given Deku's status as the next symbol (which, despite all criticism of All Might in the same roll, Deku has become anyway) because of the impact that'd have on treatment of villains by the heroes Deku inspires. Add in their treatment of Machia & their support of Hawks' handling of Twice and it just doesn't look good.
Oh and if that same crowd gets wind of his status as 'The Greatest Hero Who Saves By Putting You Out Of Your Misery' that'll be even more catastrophic. (Especially once the Singularity doomsday starts up for real.)
Meanwhile, what little progress has been made on a societal level is either purely for the heroes benefits, like the civilians acting more grateful to the heroes (and as you say, the results of that are pretty middling, amounting to first aid & a shirt); or else maybe baby steps in the right direction like Shoji's answer to the heteromorph plot. Baby steps they do not have time for, mind you. And even then, that's still a 'maybe' because Shoji's not actually planning anything different from normal hero activity: just be inspiring and hope people follow your example.
Meanwhile everything else societal that brought us here, corruption in the system, poor treatment or handing of quirks, general prejudice; it's all just gone unaddressed.
Probably because the points with which they used to be addressed, the League, instead got their plot points changed to revolve around motives more personal, less serious, less justifiable, and more easily addressable by the kids. Y'know; Toga's plot used to be about society's treatment of the other but then was about her wanting love, Dabi's was about people in power abusing their power but then was about him wanting attention, and Shigaraki's was about the lie of hero society and the complacency of the people it inspired, but Deku couldn't do anything about that so instead it because about Tenko's hatred towards his house. But then Deku still couldn't do anything about that so instead it became about Tenko's self-hated. And then Deku still couldn't address that either all too well, really, so we instead got 'It was AFO All Along'; and that Deku could handle with trivial ease. What self-respecting All Might clone couldn't punch AFO?
To use a metaphor I think Tomura would appreciate; it's like they all turned on easy mode, and Deku especially turned on baby mode, and it feels like we're all going to get the bad ending as a result of them skipping so many side-quests, dialogue trees, or special objectives. Personally speaking, any hope I had in things turning around was based in how the villains would be handled, both a) because I expected how they were handled would reflect how their societal motives would be handled(i.e. how Deku saved Tenko would inform us of how he'd save other Tenkos), and b) because I expected they'd need the help and perspective.
Needless to say, I've not been left with much hope that things will turn around.
So yeah, right there with you hoping Tomura could somehow come back, partially because that's the only part of this ending that feels salvageable even by his long-shot odds. But boy is the rest a mess of unfortunate implications beneath the veneer of how "The Day is Saved"...Man, Deku really is an All Might clone.
#ask & reply#bnha#bnha 423#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko#dabi#spinner#toga himiko#gigantomachia#twice#jin bubaigawara#paranormal liberation front#PLF#league of villains#lov#midoriya izuku#mezo shoji#all for one#all might#hero society#Boy I really let loose my thoughts with this one. Suppose I had some stuff to get off my chest still
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Honestly, you are like the most based person ever. A Martian Manhunter fan and a MAWS critic? F YEAH!
I'm so disappointed with MAWS' Lois :( Her romance with Clark could've been so good. SO GOOD. But they decided to go for fan service instead. She just gives off Lena (from cwsg) vibes and that's never a good thing.
Speaking of Supergirl, what's your opinion on the show? And on the show's portrait of J'onn. It baffles me how much hate the show got for the same things fans are willing to overlook now on MAWS. Aren't those some double standards, geez...
Aw shucks thank you! 2 incredibly niche but based things to be...
Sob! Call it the ace in me but whenever people think MAWS!Clois have chemistry because they're easily amused by seeing hot characters undress I lose life force. I didn't witness a couple that grew mutual respect and affection, I saw an insta-crush that led to Lois becoming so entitled to a guy she'd known for less than a week to the point of demanding full transparency of his private life before they even started dating. And then the narrative says it's Clark's fault for having reasonable boundaries, and then they're a couple. What is this.
I've briefly talked about CW Supergirl before, but my takeaway is: if people think MAWS is genuinely good writing then they should absolutely watch CW Supergirl because it must look like high art in comparison to MAWS. Maybe people are less judgy when something's animated and that's not fair. If we want to take animation as a serious medium we should hold it to the same standard and not coddle it. As someone who watched a few eps when CW Supergirl aired and then revisited and watched the whole thing years after the show concluded, I feel that the misogyny surrounding people's discourse around the show has led to people judging the show based on a fanon idea of it rather than its own merits.
more under the cut!
CW Supergirl is a show with great highs and lows. This results in things being hit or miss. But when something hits- CW Supergirl is not given nearly enough credit as it deserves. As a Martian Manhunter fan, I believe that their take on J'onn is the most competent and well adapted in not just adapted media, but all of comics canon. That doesn't mean I like everything they did with his lore and character, but I can acknowledge that they actually bothered developing him outside of the comics/cartoon's fixation with making him mope about his Origin Story all the time. He gets to find love, have adopted daughters through Kara and Alex, reckon with what it's like to preserve aspects of a culture he doesn't fully identify with, deal with his dad going through Martian Alzheimer's disease, and most importantly MAKE PEACE WITH HIS BROTHER. CW Supergirl has hands down, the best take on Ma'alefa'ak in all of canon.
I think Lena is a great character on the show. She's dealing with the trauma of being constantly manipulated by her own family, the legacy her name carries and who she is in all that. But because the supercorp ship permeates the way people perceive the show, she's reduced to that by discourse. When Lena has drama over Kara's secret Superhero identity, it's something that's built up to and informed by trauma, trust-issues, and TIME. We are shown that she has these problems. It gets melodramatic at times, but it's still something that was built up to. Meanwhile in MAWS Lois just tells us she has daddy issues and that it's why she really needs the cute guy at work to spill all his personal info to her even though she gets to lie to him for her own personal gain multiple times. I appreciate what CW Supergirl did to bring more attention to what was an obscure character. Whenever I bump into Lena in the comics, it hasn't stacked up to the character I met on the show.
I've called this out before but while CW Supergirl isn't perfect by any means especially with their treatment of Jimmy Olsen as a love interest to Kara and a generally sidelined Black supporting character, they still discussed and acknowledged Jimmy's identity as a Black American man! Sure it was heavy handed many times, but that's way better than MAWS straight up ignoring Jimmy's Blackness and even making an unintentional jab at it!! Like cw Supergirl Jimmy knows bigotry and has experienced it. MAWS Jimmy thinks bigotry is being ghosted for a camping trip. I have seen the exact same critics call out cw Supergirl for Jimmy's treatment while gleefully thinking Jimmy's treatment in MAWS is so uwu perfect. It makes me sick! Am I going insane?? It's the double standards for me.
#askjesncin#jesncin dc meta#jesncin talks maws#both shows have terrible Asian rep tho- early Supergirl especially. Asian men dropped like flies in that show it's not even funny#I see you other asks about Supergirl- I will get to you! And I will introduce Kara into my AU eventually
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Not How It's Supposed To Be
Goo Gunil
Summary: Gunil was the enemy, so were you falling for him. (non-idol au)
WC:925
Warning:none
photo not mine credits to owner.
Go undercover and get the evidence needed to take Gunil and his corrupted organization down. That was the plan, it was simple. However now that the plan is in action it doesn’t feel that simple. You knew Gunil was a bad guy. You knew about all the illegal business he was doing under the guise of his product distribution company. You knew that Gunil was distributing psychotropic drugs. Then how did you end up here? Why were you lying for Gunil instead of to him?
“You know the kind of people I hate most y/n?” Gunil asked you one day while you were having lunch together in his office.
“What kind?” you questioned.
“Liars,” he answered. Your heart dropped. Did he find out about you being undercover? Was he about to do something to you? Were you going to be able to walk out of this room?
“Who would like a liar?” You chuckled nervously.
“My mom was a liar and so was the person I considered my best friend.” He went on to say.
“I’m sorry,” you say.
“You know it really does damage when the people closest to you lie to you.” He stabbed his fork harshly into the piece of meat in front of him, making you flinch.
“I can only imagine.” Gunil stands up and comes over the couch opposite of him you were sitting on.
“That’s right. You’ve never been hurt by someone close to you have you?” He very gently strokes your cheek with the back of his hand.
“Fortunately not,” you responded. Gunil smiled.
“And you wouldn’t hurt someone close to you either right?” he asked.
You shook your head. “I don’t want to hurt those close to me.”
“Can I be close to you?” He leaned closer to you.
So maybe that’s how you found yourself in this situation. Because the more time you spend with Gunil. The more you learned his story. The more you felt for him. It doesn’t make what he does right, but you get why he does it. With the way life treated him, it only makes sense he turned into the villain that he is.
“I don’t know. I’ve only been working here a month. Why would he tell all his dirty secrets to a new hire?” You told the people who you were supposed to be working with to take Gunil down. “There is a shipment going out soon, but I don’t know all the details,” you lied. A part of your job was literally managing shipping schedules. “I’ll look into it ok. I gotta go now.” You hung up the phone and let out a sigh. What were you doing? This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. Yet the thought of something happening to Gunil tugged on your heartstrings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Y/n?” Gunil’s secretary called you.
“Yes?” you asked.
“Mr. Goo requests you in his office,” he tells you.
“Ok I’ll head there in a sec.” You saved the work you were working on before heading over to Gunil’s office.
“If you don’t find who broke into the warehouse I’ll get rid of you for being useless, do you understand!” You hear Gunil shout from the other side of the door. His icy tone sends a shiver down your spine. You knocked twice on the door.
“It’s me,” you say gently.
“Come in y/n.” His voice is much softer now. You took a small breath before opening the door.
“You wanted to see me,” you said. Gunil approaches you.
“Yeah I did.” Next thing you know he’s melting into you. Wrapping his arms around your frame in a hug. You freeze in your spot.
“...Is everything ok?” you asked. Very slowly you lift your hands and rest them against his back.
“Someone broke into the warehouse,” he tells you. You know exactly who it was. You feel something knot in your stomach.
“Was anything stolen?” Gunil pulls away from you and straightens his tie, fixing his composure.
“Fortunately not, but it was still a close call.”
“Guni,” you say.
“Yeah,” I know who it was. Those words sit right on the tip of your tongue.
“Did you check the security cameras to see who it was?” You say instead.
“They were wearing a cap and mask, so we couldn’t see. It was a man though,” he told you. You nodded. “Come sit.” Gunil motioned for you to sit down. Slowly you walked over to the couch and took a seat. Gunil then takes a seat beside you. “Did me asking to be close to you make you uncomfortable?” he questioned.
“Huh? Oh, no it didn’t. Why are you asking?” you replied.
“You just seem a bit distant with me since then,” he tells you. Cause that’s when you started feeling conflicted. You didn’t want to lie to Gunil anymore, but if stopped you’d be betraying your partners.
“It’s not that. It’s just…remember when I said I don’t want to hurt those close to me?” you brought up.
“Of course,” he said.
“Well, I found myself in a situation where I have to make a decision and no matter what choice I make somebody's gonna get hurt,” you informed.
“Which decision would make you the happiest?” he asked you.
“How can I be happy when I’m hurting someone?”
“Then can you tell me what the situation is? Maybe I can handle it,” he suggested. Your heart sinks.
“That’s the thing…there’s something you don’t know about me,” you say.
“Which is?” He looked at you expectantly.
“I’m a liar.”
Taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143
#xdinary heroes#xdh#xdh imagines#xdh x reader#xdinary heroes imagines#xdinary heroes x reader#xh gunil#xdh gunil#gunil x reader#goo gunil x reader#koo gunil x reader#goo gunil#koo gunil#gunil
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