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murdereddaydreams · 3 years

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My Mate

Warnings: Omegaverse, breeding kink, slight blood, marking, smut, insecurities, knotting, pregnancy, if miss any let me know!

Content: Alpha!Kita Shinsuke x Omega!Fem!Reader

A/N: This is my addition to the In Heat by @daichidaichidaichi! Thank you to @miyarinrin and @vanille--kiss for betaing this for me, they know how long it really took me to finally come up with a plot for this and I'm personally very happy with this. Also... this totally became my longest fic ever.

Word Count: 2,785

Fortunate. That's what you would call yourself. You consider yourself lucky to have found your mate, something not everyone is lucky enough to experience but you did. Kita Shinsuke was your Alpha, ever loving and loyal. Down to the way he worked hard to provide for you and your future family to the way he would lose his calm demeanor the moment he felt another Alpha even dared to take you away. Yet, as you stood on the porch and looked out at his figure that grew closer, you couldn't help but reach up and place your hand on your scent gland. He hadn't claimed you, hadn't marked you as his. Did he not feel as happy to be with you as you did with him? Surely your face and the way that your scent began to take on more citrusy notes were giving him an indication of how you were feeling due to the concerned look on his face once he got near.

"Y/N… what's wrong? What's with that expression?" When you didn't answer and instead shifted your gaze from him, he took a few steps towards you. His body inches from yours, his scent suddenly stronger and enveloping you more than usual. He was doing what he always did when he wanted you to speak, shifting his scent to a much more woodsy aroma. It made you feel small, weak almost but not enough to be afraid of him. It was simply enough to make you want to listen to what he had to say and when he spoke, his voice held the same authority. "Omega… What's wrong? Tell me."

"Just… Why haven't you claimed me? We've been together for over a year now and talk about having a litter of our own so… why not?"

At your words, he felt himself sigh before finally reaching you. A hand came and cupped your cheek, tilting your head up so you could look up at him. Once your eyes locked with his amber ones, he gave you a soft smile.

"I want to claim you, Omega. I just never knew how to ask. Now…" He suddenly hoisted you up, your legs instinctively coming to wrap around his waist and your arms around his neck. He began to walk inside, shoes discarded at the door before he proceeded further. "Let me do what we both want… let me show the world you're my mate."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, his tone still nothing shy of loving but taking on that authority you loved. That tone that let you know that you were now at his mercy and even as you kept a calm expression to try and match his, you began to grow antsy in his arms. Each step he took towards the bedroom only served to make you more and more hyper aware of the determination that had dripped from his words. Your Alpha was going to claim you, mark you as his and only his while he made sure to pump you full of his cum in hopes to produce a litter.

Your thoughts were cut off when you felt your body be gently placed back onto the mattress. Had you been that distracted that you didn't even notice when you passed the threshold to the bedroom? You didn't even care, you wanted to be able to enjoy the man that now hovered above you as he looked at you with so much love and adoration but there was something else in his eyes. Something that made you silently whimper as you gave him a small nod. He always told you to give your approval, refusing to move further without it. He had to protect you and wanted to respect you the best way he could, wanting to not let himself be like the other Alphas that left you scared. The moment his eyes caught that small movement, his lips instantly came down to crash onto yours. It was the perfect kiss, his lips moving in such a way that proved how much he needed you and how much he loved you. The black tips of his bangs gently caressing your skin as he kissed you and the soft groan that left him when your hands tangled in his hair were already doing wonders to you.

Kita had one hand holding him up while the other now traveled down the side of your body, gently feeling the dips and curves until he reached your hip. Once there, his large palm took hold of the soft flesh and began to gently knead it. The way that spread your legs for him out of response caused him to smirk against your lips. Always a good Omega, so obedient to your Alpha without him having to ever say a word. Reluctantly, he pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours.

"Such a good Omega for me…"

He situated himself between your legs, his lips moving to pepper your face in butterfly kisses. The very same kisses that were so light against your skin that they raised goosebumps instantly. Kita traveled to your jawline, small nips at your skin coming right before a gentle kiss. You almost cursed at the fact you wore nothing but a linen sundress and lace panties but knew he was more than pleased by that fact as his hand moved to the hem of the dress. You clung to his shoulders, already anticipating the feel of fingers dancing along your slick covered folds. Your scents mixed perfectly in the air, both fighting to overpower the other before finally coming together in harmony. A soft chuckle pulled you out of your trance, his rough fingers finally coming to the delicate skin of your inner thigh before moving to run along your slit.

"A-Alpha… please…"

You were sure your words fell on deaf ears, his touch still teasingly slow and careful when all you wanted was more. You wanted to feel his fingers deep inside your heat, jutting in and out as he prepared you to take his length until his knot plugged you full. But if you were being honest with yourself… you didn't want it, at this point you needed it. His presence, his scent, everything about him made you crave him to no end. He was your mate, he was your one and only. By the soft growl he emitted, you were sure he was feeling the same way. He needed you just as badly as you needed him. His neediness was plainly obvious the moment he easily tore the fabric of your panties right along the seam, his hand eagerly coming to appreciate your wetness. The same slick that he knew was for him, for him to enjoy, for him to savor as it coated his cock when he finally allowed himself the pleasure of being buried deep within you.

"Wait, Omega. You know I need to prepare you. I can't risk hurting you."

He kissed you as you whined at his response, wanting to protest but soon stopped when you felt his thumb press against your clit. A gasp escaped you, causing you to pull away from his lips and just in time as a long digit began to prod at your entrance. He pulled back enough to be able to view your face, watching as your lips parted slightly as he slowly slid his finger into you. Was that little bit enough to please you? Maybe not but it was enough to have your back arching up and trying to move closer to him than you already were. He leaned down and nuzzled his face against the crook of your neck, his lips placing soft kisses to the skin as he pumped the long digit.

“Alpha… more… please…”

Who was he to deny his Omega when she asked so nicely? Without no hesitation, he added another finger and groaned softly to himself as it began to get harder to control himself. He needed you, he needed to fill you and claim you as his once and for all. You were his and only his, he wanted a future with you and this was merely the first step. He couldn't wait to see you swollen with his seed, bearing life to the pups that would be a mixture of you both. The mere thought of you being such a good Omega for him and giving him a family of his own made his cock twitch. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to wait, that was until he heard your voice break him out of his trance.

"Please Shinsuke, please just put your cock in me already. Can't wait, I need your knot." Your words were full of desperation, your hips having a mind of their own and bucking up to try and meet his fingers in an attempt to get even more friction. You needed him inside of you, needed to feel his thick cock stretching you oh so nicely before he would stuff his knot and lock you both together. Your eyes finally met his after so long, the action causing you to suck in a breath from the sheer intensity in his eyes. He was determined right now and you were sure you would be the one he took it out on.

He didn't say a word, simply pulled himself away from you completely. The sudden loss of his fingers in your tight hole caused you to clench around nothing as your hands reached out for him to bring his warmth back. The low growl he gave you as he began to undress himself let you know what he was planning. Feeling a mixture of giddy and nervous, you quickly follow his lead and begin to strip. Your dress was pulled over your head, the torn panties coming off soon after. Before being able to turn to him, you felt yourself be pushed face down into the mattress. Your hips were lifted high in the air, legs spread enough so Kita could nestle his body in between them.

"Are you ready, Omega?" You were far too excited to trust your own voice, only able to utter a simple whine to let him know you were more than ready. A quiet hum left his lips before his hands would come down to caress your hips. His hot hands only added to the burning you felt on your skin from your sheer need that you swore he left a blazing trail as one hand traveled across the plump flesh of your ass. Once he finally reached your lower lips, he spread your folds as you felt him gently begin to run his length across your heat. Desperately, you bucked back against him to try and encourage him to hurry up. This led to him giving you a quick swat to the ass in warning, you knew he hated when you would try to rush him. Kita was a fan of being able to enjoy the feel of you, savor just how much slick you produced for him and only him.

You couldn't help but whimper when you felt him finally begin to push the head of his cock into you, taking his time to let you feel every inch of him enter you. It was almost as if he just kept giving more and more until you finally felt him bottom out. He stilled for a bit before allowing himself to pull back just enough to have the tip be the only part still within you. Before you knew it, his hips began to move forward. You could feel every little drag within you, moans spilling at the pace he finally set. It may not have been fast but Kita made sure to include plenty of power with his stroke forward. Slow and steady wins the race and this was no different. This was you two being able to enjoy each other, being able to become one, to show your love and devotion. This wasn't something he nor you wanted to rush through if your heat or his rut weren't clouding your judgments.

Truly, you didn't know just how long he had been keeping up his pace, just knew that while his hips never stopped, his hands roamed your entire body. They had come to your breasts, keeping them still in his hands as his thumb and index finger rolled your perky nipples between them. His lips did whatever they could to any skin they were able to reach, leaving love bites in their wake before moving on to a new area. All you knew was that the knot in your lower belly was beginning to tighten and tighten as his hips also began picking up speed. You knew your Alpha, you knew this was his silent way of telling you he was getting close like you. The way he could feel his approaching high led to his hand traveling between your legs to find your little bundle of nerves. Expertly, his fingers began to rub tight circles on the little bud.

"Ah Alpha! So close, so close!" You're unsure how you managed to get your words out but you did. You could feel his knot as it began to press against your entrance, trying to be gentle as always before he would grow the slightest bit impatient and insert the thick muscle into your velvet walls. The sweet burn of the stretch was all you needed to finally be pushed over the edge, your body threatening to fall against the mattress were it not for him holding you against his body. When did he even lean down and press his firm chest against your back? You didn't care, you were just focused on the warmth that began to wash over you from the inside. The feeling of you clenching around his length as well as his knot in an attempt to milk him dry is what did it for him and made him finally release his seed within you.

You had almost forgotten his promise of claiming you until he finally grazed his teeth against your scent gland. Before you knew it, his sharp canines dug into your flesh with a force strong enough to break the skin. The surprise and power of the action caused you to yelp out, hands gripping onto the sheets with a deadly grip. For every pump of cum into your womb, Kita would bite down a bit harder. He had to make sure his claim on you was evident, not wanting anyone to even consider taking you away from him. You weren't sure how long it had been before he finally released his teeth from your skin but you were secretly thankful. You were thankful for the little kisses and licks he gave to your skin to try and heal the new wound before gently flopping to the side with you in his arms.

"My Omega, my mate, my love…" Kita's words were soft, his lips against your ear as his breath lightly fanned over it. His arms pulled you in closer, one hand coming down to rest against your stomach as he nuzzled against your upper back. "The future mother of our pups…"

"Shinsuke, come on! I don't want dinner to get cold!" You used one hand to cup your mouth as the other rested on the swell of your lower back as you stood outside of your little home. Kita was coming in from another long day in the fields, his soft smile turning into a grin once he heard your voice and saw your figure clearly. As he finally reached you, his first reaction was to place a soft kiss on your lips. The second? It was to kneel down to place a soft kiss to your swollen belly.

"I'm sorry I'm a little late today, there was a lot to get done. I want to try to do as much as I can before our pup arrives." Giving your belly one last kiss, he stands up and wraps his arms around you in a loving hug. "I can't leave my Omega to do all the work when they're born, I have to help you."

"Oh shush, we still have some time before they come. Now come Alpha, I want to make sure you're well taken care of. You do so much for us already, our pup is lucky to have you." And with that, you both finally made your way inside the home to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet you still had before you would hear the pitter patter of your pups running around.

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

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How You Get The Girl

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 10

"Then one day he came back"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 3,586

Warnings: violence, a badly written mission, blood.

A/N: I really hope you like this one! Thank you so much @peterbenjiparker for helping me organize this mess and make sense of the outline! Christy aka @chrissquares made these dividers! and thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

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Loki listened to the sound of the heavy rain that surrounded the quinjet as they flew towards where you were.

It was too slow for his liking, he didn't want to imagine what they could be doing to you. It was his fault that they took you in the first place, he didn't know why he didn't recognize your Asgardian powers before.

The powers were so protective of you just as he was. Now he hoped it will be enough to protect you from your captives.

He absentmindedly twirled a dagger in his hand, his mind lost with thoughts of you. He could think of a million spells that could have protected you without giving you these powers, but in a state of panic he didn't think and used the oldest most powerful one. With the raging emotions he had he was certain he messed it up somehow and caused you harm.

All he ever tried to do was protect you. You were supposed to be protected after he left you, but instead you got dragged into this dangerous life and it led you here.

He didn't turn around when he felt the heavy hand on his shoulder, Thor's presence beside him was known.

"It's not your fault, you know."

"How can it not be? It was my mistake."

"You were trying to protect her, you couldn't have known."

"I should have known better, I could have done so much better." Loki's voice was as sharp as his blade, but he didn't push Thor away. He must have lost his mind, well in all fairness he is losing his mind thinking about you. "I thought it was the best way to keep her safe when I was gone. Then I left and I didn't take care of the spell well enough."

"Forgive me for asking brother, but if you loved her so much why leave her?" Loki was beyond denying Thor's specific choice of words.

"I left just before your coronation, when it all started. I couldn't drag her into this- and then I fell and years went by and I couldn't come back to her."

Silence took over and the seconds seemed to last an eternity.

"I think she would've accepted you, no matter what you did." Thor replied after a thought, he remembered the way you looked at his brother, he remembered the way you stood up to him and defended Loki against his father in the briefing room. There was no doubt in his mind that you would've stayed for Loki.

Steve leaned his head back against the wall as he sat on the bench of the quinjet; his supersoldier hearing gave his mind things to think about while the Asgardians' conversation died down.

•

Blue.

The tears on your face were cold as they stained your cheeks. Your mind was still foggy.

Five.

You now heard the voice say, it was clearer as your mind woke up.

Airplane.

You felt the pain as they inserted yet another shot of liquid into your body, your mind started to buzz.

"Rusted."

Another shot of electricity went through your body, you felt metallic taste on your tongue and yet you felt your mind relax with each word he uttered.

"Ice."

With every jolt of pain your mind drifted more and more even when you screamed.

"Nineteen."

"No, I don't want this. Stop." You whimpered. It was a method you learned from Tony- in your head you started naming all of your loved ones, thinking about each of them.

There was Tony, and also Natasha, and Wanda, Pietro and Bruce, Bucky, Steve, and now Loki- you let out a scream and opened your eyes again at the pain.

Folklore.

Your voice did no longer make a sound. You were distanced from your own body.

Longing.

You tried shaking your head but you only watched as your body stood still.

Furnace.

Your mind grew foggy as you saw your surroundings. You wanted to break out of it, you had to.

Red.

"Ready to-" you grunted and leaned forward from the chair you were strapped to as much as you could. "No!"

Your eyes flashed purple and you looked straight at the doctor, you saw the moment the pain hit him but before you could really harm him with your powers you felt the spasms of electricity pulling you back.

They stopped after a minute or so, the metallic taste came back.

"You want to play games? We will teach you to listen," he took your chin in his hand and made you look at him. "We will make you a perfect little soldier. Take her to her room."

He commanded and your eyes widened.

"No, please don't put me there, don't do it again." You started crying without noticing the tears.

"You should get a taste of your own medicine, understand what your powers are really for." He chuckled darkly as you got taken into the room.

The minute the door shut behind you the sensations began, you fell to the ground as the energies were sent to you until your eyes were foggy and you fell down into your own brain.

You saw the worst in there, and you couldn't get out of it.

You were tormented by your own powers.

•

Iyllir waited with her parents at the table until Odin arrived without his two sons and sat at the head of the table, she furrowed her brows, "Where are Thor and Loki? Will they not be joining us?"

"No, my dear, they had to go." Odin simply replied before the maids and servants began to serve their food.

"Did something happen?" Iyllir's mother asked.

"I'm afraid that Midgard is causing some problems." Odin sighed and leaned to talk to her parents more while she nibbled on the food that was served, keeping her ears open to the information the Allfather was giving her. "A wicked organization there got their hands on Asgardian technology, and now they got their hands on a girl with Asgardian powers. Of course then, you understand that I couldn't let them use the girl as their weapon- it would be dangerous, so I hope you forgive my sons for being absent as they are trying to find her."

Odin then looked at Iyllir.

"Lady Iyllir, I am certain Prince Loki will be back soon and all will be well." He sent her a smile and she returned it.

Focusing back on her food she felt her blood boiling, she had ordered for them to take it and kill the girl- and they betrayed her. That kind of humiliation will not go unpunished.

Excusing herself, she went back to her room. Some things she will have to do herself.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she said an incantation and a box appeared next to her. Opening it, she took out the old weapon and held onto the hilt of it, feeling the power of the Dainsleif she strutted forward.

She would kill the girl herself if she had to; nothing would be able to stop her now.

•

Steve walked through the quinjet, Thor promised that he isn't causing the weather but it didn't make him less annoyed at the delay the weather provided in landing as they got closer and closer.

He caught the eye of the younger Asgardian who stood at the edge or the vehicle, he remembered putting him seated there when he first fought him in Germany.

He lowered his head and with a breath he started to walk over. Loki studied him as he did, and Steve let him. They stood there in silence until Loki looked back outwards.

"Thank you, for helping me find her. I don't know what I would've done if I couldn't find her."

"I didn't help you find her, I found her- you were no part of it, you actually didn't help at all." Loki replied, before adding, "I did it for me. I cannot bear the idea of her being hurt." He remembered how it used to be.

"Darling?" Loki opened the door with the key you gave him. He was dripping on your carpet but when he saw you he quickly dried himself, magic is always so helpful.

"Are you insane, Loki?" He shrugged. "There is a huge storm outside!"

"It would be ironic if I got struck by lightning, now wouldn't it?" he joked before coming to you, giving you a peck on the lips and then to your forehead to calm down the worried crease that formed there.

"I guess so… from what you told me I wouldn’t be surprised if it was on purpose." You cracked a smile at him.

"Now, what are you doing?" you blushed when he looked behind you to the desk and to the marker you now had in your hands.

"I just… brought a permanent marker from my room." You nodded to him and cringed to yourself when he laughed and moved around you and walked to the table.

"You can't lie to the god of mischief, my love."

"It wasn't a lie!"

"No, but it wasn't the whole truth either." He pointed to the frames on the table.

Your cheeks got warmer by the minute, and so did his amusement.

He picked up a photo and a small smile lit up his face.

It was a picture you took of the two of you, he kissed your cheek as the fairy lights of the fair, which was right by the beach, lit up your surroundings and the water. It was a treasured memory, the view of you glowing in the lights.

You walked to him and took the picture.

"Why did you get it out of your phone?" he asked.

"I want it framed, so I can always see it- you, all around the house when you're not here."

He saw you write down the date it was taken behind the photo before you picked up a gold frame and put it in there.

"That is beautiful, my love." He went and picked up other photos that were scattered on the table. "Can you make one for me too?"

His eyes were soft as he looked at the pictures.

"You have illusions, why would you need a photo?" You questioned.

"I want you, the real you, with me wherever I go. I want more than just an illusion of you."

You walked to him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You know exactly what to say to get the girl, don't you?" You leaned up to kiss him.

"I only want to get you."

"You have me." You whispered before he captured your lips in a soft kiss again.

He will get you back.

"We will find her." Loki was somewhat comforted by the conviction in Steve's voice. "Together."

And so they stuck together, the god of mischief and the righteous captain America. The team separated when they went through the vast grey warehouse.

No one cared about the body count, this wasn't just another mission and all of them knew that.

So with the gunshot sounds and yells- the god, the captain, and the sergeant made their way forward in search of you.

•

She paid no attention to the wild sounds coming from just outside the door. All Iyllir cared about was her one mission in the room she entered from the shadows.

The agents in the room were focused on transferring the girl who sat on the chair into the room she last saw her in.

"Gather all the stuff up, put her under fast! That will make sure they won't get to her." Doctor Zazu stood next to Commander Iago who was shouting orders.

The doctor organized his work, uncaring of your shaking body that moved as they lifted the seat of the chair to get you out of it.

The commander leaned in and the Lady could hear his whisper.

"I told you your little friends won't get you."

"Fuck you, parrot." You replied and got a harsh slap to your cheek even though you could barely move your head in the metallic chair.

Iyllir stepped forward in the room, her eyes like daggers as she focused on you and the commander.

The agents in the room turned around when they noticed her, guns raised and eyes afraid when they understood who they were pointing at.

"Lady Iyllir-" the commander started to stutter and moved forward, wearing a shaky smile. "We were just-"

"I heard you were building a weapon. We did not agree on that, commander." She awaited his lie.

"She could be very useful- and don't worry, he will not be able to get her. It's a good compromise, we can work it out!"

"Oh mortals are so amusing, betraying me was not a smart move-" she grabbed the hilt and pulled it out. She felt the weight of the power, of the need that was growing inside her. "I'm afraid that we can't back out now."

It was as if the sword acted on its own, seeking blood, and she let it find it.

The sharp edge first pierced the commander's stomach; she pulled out the bloody blade and turned around when she felt other agents try to fight her.

Looking up from the body- she saw you, you were wide awake and aware now, it might have been the power of the sword or her own hatred but she won't let anything stop her from getting what she wanted. You will not be the one to ruin her future, and she was on a time limit when she heard the fighting outside getting closer and closer.

•

Loki threw his daggers at the guy who tried to sneak up on the captain. After he did, he admired the knife throwing skill the sergeant had too before continuing on to find wherever it was that they held you in.

Before long the three located the room they thought you'd be in, Loki used his magic and threw open the two heavy metallic doors and then he saw you, being put inside a see through room. Then he took in the scene in front of him.

Bodies bloody on the floor, almost making a path to where his eyes rested at now.

The Asgardian redhead who he had spent so much time with the past few months stood there stalking towards a man in a lab coat, her royal dress had blood all over it as some still dripped from the sword he now recognized.

"Iyllir?" he called out, confused at the scene. Steve and Bucky came beside him, feeling the tension they stopped and assessed the way to you- down the stairs and through the guards in the big room and into the cell you were trapped in which was in the middle of the room.

"Loki," he saw her eyes widen and for the first time, she didn't look as innocent anymore. "I am so glad you're here-"

He couldn't even hear her when he heard your voice coming through the glass, the tears in your eyes and the half relieved half scared look in your eyes as you shook your head at him, yelling at him to not listen to her.

"The two of you go get her. I will deal with the girl."

He went towards the left then and the two supersoldiers went to the right, agents came their way but Steve knew nothing will stop him from getting to you.

The doctor took his chance to complete his work once Iyllir was occupied with Loki. He spoke in a loud voice at Y/N.

"Blue."

"No!" You screamed but her voice was hoarse.

"Five."

Bucky heard the chant and his eyes focused on the girl behind the glass and the doctor who held a notebook.

"No, this isn't happening again." He decided, knowing the effect of the words. In a silent conversation with Steve, he went in a different way

"Airplane."

Loki stepped up to Iyllir, trying to assess her.

"What are you doing here?" he watched her smile at him. "Do not lie."

His voice was dark now. He didn't know why she was here, but he trusted you, and more so the fear in your voice.

Iyllir studied the man in front of her for a moment before replying.

"Tell me Loki, did you ever feel that the throne of Asgard should be yours? I know that you did." She advanced towards him, still with a smile. "We can do so much you and I, we are very much alike. Why abandon that dream of yours? We can still make it happen.

Why abandon that dream when you know you'll make a great king, and I a queen?"

"Rusted." You shut your eyes and shook your head.

"That's not my dream anymore. This is wrong, Iyllir did you do this?" he saw his wand lying on the table just a few feet behind her.

"This is right Loki!" she swung her hand up in the air alongside the sword. "We had fun you and I, you can't deny it. So forget about her, think about your future- don't you want everyone to see how great you could be? I am your way forward, I'm your future, and I can get you that."

"Ice." You didn't pound on the glass anymore, your mind was hazy.

"I do not need that, I don't want that-" he raised his own daggers. "And I do not want you."

Her eyes shifted then when he started attacking forward.

•

"Nineteen."

Bucky shot another agent, moving forward and he saw Steve trying to get to the room.

"Folklore."

Steve looked at you, heaving your breath, still standing. You refused to meet his stare, you were so strong before, never bowing down to any outside influences, and now here you were.

"Longing."

The doctor's voice was shaking as Loki let his magic loose, Bucky rattled on the stairs he descended to get a good shot at the doctor. Your mind heard the word clearly though.

Loki held a dagger in one hand, and in the other he conjured spells. A green energy blast was shot towards Iyllir, she dodged it and sizzles and sparks flew when it hit a machine instead. Getting closer, she aimed the sword at him again.

"We could've been so powerful."

"You're not powerful, the weapon in your hand is. Do not be mistaken." He tilted his head and summoned a longer spear out of thin air.

"Furnace."

Bucky aimed his shot once he was in the clear. The room shook again, thunder booming outside, as he fired a shot, and then the doctor fell down to the ground.

Steve knocked the guy that came from his left with his shield, effectively clearing his path to the door of the strange room you were held in. He saw your hazed form falling to the floor. You tried to get up to Steve, but you almost fell. You pointed backwards but he paid no attention where you were pointing to.

With his shield he broke the handle and took down the entire door.

Once he was inside, he felt ringing in his ears and a light pressure fell upon him. He couldn't imagine what they were doing to you inside it.

You kept pointing backwards but he just pulled you up and carried you out of there.

"Steve, it's the-" you fought to stay up and aware.

"It's okay, you're safe now." He assured you but you shook your head.

"They are using the-" You couldn't finish your sentence as Steve took you up the stairs.

"Red." You heard the voice loudly and then as you felt waves of hurt crash into you, your mind sunk deeper and deeper and you fell to the ground with a scream, Steve catching you just in time.

The doctor held the wand in his hand, still bleeding out.

"Hail Hydra!" he sneered at Bucky, who turned to him and raised a new gun.

"Hail this," Bucky shot a magazine of bullets at him, his anger leaving no room for remorse. Bucky ran back to where you were with Steve.

Loki watched as you fell to the ground, his heart thudded in fright at the scream you let out. In a momentary of shock, he heard Iyllir laugh and he let out a small huff as the sword pierced through his side.

"See Loki, she wasn't worth it, now she's gone for good." Her smile was sickly. Loki noticed his wand on the floor next to the dead doctor.

His rage resumed as he fell to the ground reaching for it. Once the staff was once again in his grasp after all this time, the room shone with green light as he aimed the wand at Iyllir. The shot of magic he let out in the air hit her and left her breathless. She could feel pain in every cell in her body, she shook a bit before her skin turned as grey as ash and she fell to the ground.

Loki used the staff to get up and he rushed over to you, forgetting the wound in his stomach, you lay down against Steve, who was the only thing holding you up.

His hand was shaky as he cupped your cheek.

"Y/N?" he called to you but all he saw were your glazed eyes, a single tear escaped from them, running down your cheek.

And he knew- you were not with them anymore.

•

Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @percabethismyotp14

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zyrusdj · 3 years

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AMAZING THAILAND

People enjoy going on vacations. Traveling is something that everyone wishes to do from a young age, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do it at such a young age. I've been traveling since I was eight years old, and I've already visited six countries, all of them are in Southeast Asia. I aspire to travel to the western side of the world one day. I'm also grateful to my parents for allowing me to live my life to the fullest and for providing me the opportunities to do so. As I previously stated, my family and I have already visited six countries: Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Thailand, Korea, and Taiwan. And for all of those stated, my finest travel experience thus far has been in Thailand. Well, all of the nations we've visited have been pleasant, but for me, Thailand stands out as the best. We traveled to Thailand way back in the year 2017.

Many people's favorite tourist destination is Thailand. Beautiful beaches, seas, glamorous retail complexes, vibrant markets, and a rich culture may all be found there. Thailand is a vibrant and colorful country that is a fantastic place to visit. There are many beautiful towns, shorelines, and islands, as well as hospitality that people extend that is above their wildest dreams, making this city a popular destination for tourists like us. Bangkok, Koh Samui, Chiang Mai, Hua Hin, Phuket, and Pattaya are just a few of the well-known Thailand destinations.

We normally go for a week, so we get to enjoy our time in those countries to the fullest. However, even with that lengthy day, we didn't get to see the other well-known cities in Thailand; we just went to Bangkok, Phuket, and Pattaya

So, once we arrived in Thailand, we hired a cab to take us straight to Bangkok, which is located on the banks of the Chao Phraya River and serves as Thailand's capital. That is where our hotel location is located. We arrived around 7 p.m. and had no idea that the place we were staying or the street where our hotel was located would be so lively in the evening, and thank you for that; a lively street at night helps us to remove our jetlag, and as a result, our first day or first hours in Thailand were filled with the joy and fun that Thailand has to offer.

My mother and older sister were in charge of the sites we had to see during our 7-day trip in Thailand; they had this itinerary thingy with the most interesting and enjoyable things to see and do in Thailand written on it. We had no time to waste after waking up, so we got up and got ready as quickly as possible so that we could see all of the places we needed to visit on our days in Thailand.

Since we were in Thailand's capital, we were able to get around simply and quickly to some of the sites we needed to see by riding this unusual vehicle known as a Tuk-tuk. Tuk-tuks are three-wheeled open vehicles popular in Thai cities. Tuk-tuks are frequently the same price as or more expensive than metered taxis, but they provide a fun and authentic travel experience and are a terrific method to travel small distances and experience their culture because tuk-tuks are only available in Thailand.

On the banks of the majestic Chao Phraya River are some of Bangkok's most notable attractions. Wat Pho (Temple of the Reclining Buddha), the Grand Palace, Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha), and Wat Arun are the four must-see monuments that are easily accessible from the river. To get to all of these temples, you must take a boat ride that costs 150 baht and is known as the Chao Phraya boat trip. This journey will take you to all of the temples, and all of the temples have an admission price, which is very cheap. Our visit there was so much fun; we got to see several large gold-colored Buddhas, and I was so amazed by the way the buildings were constructed that I felt like I was transported back in time. It was an absolute must-see.

What I really like about Thailand is how cheap it is, but even though it is cheap, they will serve you a quality product or dish. For example, we frequently eat outside in Thailand, and we prefer to eat in the streets of Thailand when the night falls (they call it night market), and even though it is street food, the food is immaculate. like see For example their street fried rice, for 40bhat they will serve you fried rice with large shrimp toppings and mix with meat and veggies and I think its good for 2 persons already. Thailand is a paradise for someone like me who enjoys eating.

We also go to a different amusement park in Thailand and this is why I love Thailand the most over the other 5 countries we’ve been to, their amusement parks have a joint water park. what I loved the most is The Bangkok Siam Park, where we went. According to my mother's itinerary, Siam Amazing Park, Thailand, formerly known as Suansiam, was formerly a water park featuring Bangkok's first man-made beach. Other amusement attractions were then added, transforming it into a water and amusement park that delights and entertains everyone. With almost 30 rides, this is Southeast Asia's best theme park. And throughout our time there, I can't express how pleased I am, from the excitement of the ride to the fun of playing and sliding down the water slide, Bangkok is truly the country to which I would like to return someday.

Finally, as our tour came to a close, we visited the Thappraya Safari Elephant Trekking Ride. We had the opportunity to get up close and personal with Thailand's national animal, the elephant. We learn new things about elephants, such as how they live, what they eat, and how they interact with Thai people. We also enjoyed trekking with the elephants in a beautiful natural setting with a beautiful sea view, and as we rode them, I got to touch the elephant skin. At first, I was disgusted because I thought they might smell bad and their skin was wrinkly, but after touching them, I was completely amazed by the elephants, because I had no idea they smelled so good. The elephant aroma features a hint of oatmeal with a blend of bananas, possibly because bananas are the elephant’s favorite food, according to Thais.

And that brings me to the end of my AMAZING INSTA TRAVEL BLOG IN THAILAND. I have a lot more to say, but it would take me days to do so hahaha. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope that while reading it, I was able to connect with you and allow you to share in my most memorable travel experience because you know when we read, we tend to imagine things, how things would work, how things would feel and look, so I hope I was able to provide you with those experiences. Thank you for reading my AMAZING INSTA TRAVEL BLOG IN THAILAND!!!!!!!!

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thejustmaiden · 4 years

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Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you!

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal?

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives.

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though!

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below.

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be.

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not. And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly!

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them.

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point.

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones?

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh.

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough.

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends?

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation.

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please.

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will.

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru #rin

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struwwelzeter · 3 years

Note

So I read your reply to Nyarisu's comment on Lionheart and I'm really intrigued by your comments about how people understand punk compared to what it was initially. Could I possibly ask you to expand on this? Pretty please?

Yes you could! This is a very (very?) personal point of view and I know a lot of people will disagree, but here goes nothing, I guess. If you disagree with me (and somebody will), that’s fine, but I will not engage with anything that’s not a constructively put argument. I’ve spend too much time thinking about this for a “I don’t like what you’re saying and that’s why you’re wrong” anon to change my mind. Just putting that out there - with love 💜.

The thing is, especially on tumblr but I think just in generally aswell, the idea of punk is presented as this ... Robin Hood kind of thing. Beat the system, stand up to bullies, live your own truth, all of that, but it always is presented as something that is supposed to come from a ... dare I say, nice place? Like those pictures of people in studded and sprayed leather jackets rescuing puppies. All of that, you know? And I don’t want to say that is wrong, because it isn’t, and I love the idea of that, it’s just not the entire truth.

Especially in the early to mid 70s, when arguably punk started, there was a lot of fatigue between an old and stuffy establishment and the lovey, dovey peace and love “let’s all be happy” movement of the hippie scene. I was at Force Attack in 2006, which is a punk festival (and possibly dirtiest place in the world) that got established in the early 90s and went on til 2008 (?), and even then some of the “death to hippies” sentiments ran pretty deep. And I know the counter argument to that will be a well meaning “well, that’s not real punk,” the problem is that I think it actually partly is. (Please keep the partly in mind for the rest of this argument.)

The problem with having the exact choice between “get a good job, built a nice house, think of what the neighbours will say, and don’t ask me about what I did in the war” and “we’re all a big part of one human family, and isn’t nature beautiful, lets all make peace, and btw we would have never done what our parents did” is that both models aren’t a sustainable life style for everyone. That’s why you get alot of people saying this is all fake bullshit, and they start being purposely offensive. This is why you get alot of Swastikas around the sex pistols, you get all these artists singing about suicide and incest and rape. It’s not that uncommon for some of those early acts to play with Nazi imagery, or claim that homosexuality is disgusting (despite the scene always being full of LGBTQ+ people), or idk, thinking it’s fun to piss on someone while they’re asleep. It’s alot of outcry, of saying life actually is this shitty and disgusting and I am gonna be that because in a way you will hate me either way. And it’s not always nice. Disdain and hate and petty selfishness are common human emotions and many of them are low and unhealthy, and honestly not nice or helpful or inclusive, but they are there, and I think alot of that early spirit was just about stopping to pretend that they don’t exist.

I think a reason for why we don’t think of the scene that way anymore is that many people very quickly outgrew that, and said “actually, we’re better than that, that’s not who we actually are. I sadly can’t find that interview right now, but Die Ärzte are actually a good exemple of that and they even admit it themselves, that there was a sense of “enough with the happy hippie bullshit, let’s disgust them” and then later going “uhmm - maybe that went a bit far.” I mean offensive or not, but ultimately a scene that is centered around artistic expression always ends with that question of creation, maybe like “if the world isn’t like what we want it to be, how do we make one we like?” - and then you end up with having to come up with answers that are more than just destruction. And then it turns into something else - something that I think is alot more like what tumblr seems to think punk is. And that’s a wonderful thing. Still - a side of punk, whatever that is, has always been what people like GG Allin (please read the wiki for context) have taken and pushed to the limits, and it just - isn’t nice. And here is where things get a bit tricky.

Because against that backdrop, things like John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) suddenly being a dirty old Trump supporter aren’t that surprising anymore. And then you get these 20 year olds “cancelling” the Sex Pistols, and I think there is just a bit of ... missing the point going on. I’ve read a comment on here recently, that basically said something like Richard should stop supporting the Sex Pistols (because he has that album in the back of the studio), and it’s just ... asking for a history to be erased that has rightfully been made obsolete but has still happened and was necessary at the time. You can take any of these early bands and pick their lyrics apart and find something that from our perspective now is disgusting, mean, exclusive, or outright racist. Songs about Fucking? Part of that record is a mysogynisy shitshow, something they were very aware of even at the time, and they still did it anyway because being disgusting was part of the point. The thing is though, the Sex Pistols were hugely influential, and alot of the positive things that grew out of that wouldn’t have been possible if kids like young Richard, or any of the bands you love that were influenced by them, wouldn’t have gotten that moment of “finally a place where I can put all of my petty hate”. It matters, and just because that moment is overcome, it doesn’t mean it should be forgotten, or stops existing in the people that lived through it.

I understand that the question of how much we should justify things with “it was the time” and how we deal with the result is an ever ongoing debate and their are many good arguments for why maybe we shouldn’t try to defend the wrongs of the past that way, and I want to point out that while I rarely agree on that in the first place (because I understand history as a natural learning curve where people aren’t perfect at the first try and it’s doing a disservice to humans just doing their best, but I digress and that’s a bit of another duscussion), I want to point out that I don’t want to defend anyone, rather I want to say “actually, being that horrible was often calculated, part of the point, and if you don’t like it, just leave it, fight it or debate it, but don’t pretend like it was a “missstep” or just a few black sheep of a scene that was never as nice or perfect as you want it to be.” You don’t get to erase half of a movement simply because you wish it wouldn’t exist the way it does - or well. I guess in this case mostly did - past tense.

The ugliness is part of the story to me, and it’s actually the bigger part of why I love this scene. I don’t need “punk” to define my politics, I need it to soothe my soul, and so did many, I think. The Sex Pistols breaking happened 20 years before my time, but I still feel connected to that world, and in particular the ugly parts of it. I often feel like I look at the world, and there are people that seem honestly shocked by the idea that maybe sometimes I find doing the right thing really hard, that I want petty, self serving revenge, that I don’t find it easy to not be selfish and unkind or sometimes want to hurt people because I am hurting myself and see an opportunity to do that. Obviously those aren’t nice things and I don’t want to be that way, but are you honestly telling me you don’t feel that? I find that hard to believe, and it leaves me with an ongoing question of if I am just worse than most people or if most people are just more fake. Both scenarios are equally shit. The ugly side of punk provides - not an answer to that - but maybe a partial solution, at least for me.

Another discussion we have all the time is about how what we consume or allow in artistic expression is influencing how we act as people in real life and how we want the world to be. Where do we draw the line? What is still ok? If I put me entertaining ideas about murder on a canvas, is that still good? what if it’s racism? What if it’s rape? We argue alot about how providing a safe space in art for those feelings is actually preventing us from acting on it in real life, how it’s an outlet of something we would never actually want or do, but then where is the limit to that? I am putting this intentionally controversial, but if we admit that most of us grow up with internalized racism and mysogyny, by that logic, why can’t I paint something that is blatantly hateful if I have those feelings? Maybe that is my way of fighting it, you don’t have to look at it? Not saying that’s what I am doing or would want to do, but what if? For some people Rammstein singing about not wanting to be Angels is crossing that line, for some of us that line is drawn alot later. Who is right? Isn’t that just personal sensitivity? Can you honestly rationalise that? Isn’t it just processing our different levels of petty hate in different ways? I don’t have the answers to any of that, it’s just questions I often have and that I think have to do with this, because alot of the nasty bits in punk will justify it exactly that way, as artistic expression. Alot of it isn’t as political as this scene is made out to be, it’s simply asking those things. I personally relate to that alot, as someone who arguably would draw the line of “we should stop doing this” in art very, very, very late - and certainly later than my own personal comfort zone.

I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense at all. I hope it does - and if it doesn’t it’s probably because I don’t know either, or because I don’t want to fully blow this up into an essay (sorry, too late?) or because I suck at making a point, or maybe because we simply disagree. All I know is that I sometimes see these posts of “what is punk and what isn’t” and it leaves me with this taste of “you’re describing a utopia and it’s cute and I want that too, but it’s not everything punk as I know it is, and it feels like you don’t want to see something that mattered too - even if it was brutal and disgusting.” And everytime I see it I feel alien, like something that mattered to me so much as a teenager and young adult gets taken away from me and made into something so sleek and pretty it becomes something unattainable to be that I simply don’t manage to live up to in the way I would like. I guess that is a petty, selfish way of looking at it too.

«It's a repressive society where you can't be horrible, I'm not horrible, they made me horrible, I'm just honest.»

- John Lydon

#sorry for this getting out of hand

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chillyravenart · 4 years

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Hi, I'm curious about your opinion on a seldom discussed asoiaf matter: Rhaegar Targaryen's relationship with his mother, Rhaella. It's bugging me since there's little to no mention of it in any of the books. Safe to assume that Viserys was close to her, her crown was his last joy according to Dany. Dany herself sadly doesn't count, she only has stories about their mom. But Rhaegar has plenty of years. He must have seen her misery as well. Surely he didn't just stand aside and did nothing right?

It's a seldom discussed matter for a reason, we simply don't have enough material on their relationship and only mere snippets on them entirely. I have opinions and views of my own, but none of them are fully backed up by canon- because the info just doesn’t exist :(

Rhaegar was born to thirteen-year old Rhaella during the Tragedy at Summerhall- an event that was said to overshadow him throughout his life. As per royal etiquette, I can only assume that baby Rhaegar was brought up by wetnurses and tutored by maesters as a child, with limited access to his mother. This would have been exacerbated by the fact that within the first eleven years of Rhaegar’s life, Rhaella lost FIVE babies. Her role was to provide Aerys with heirs and spares, and for a very long time, it ended in grief. I’m sure Rhaegar would have known of his mother’s misery, but there’s literally nothing to illustrate that point. Royal children did not share the same maternal relationship as children today, and whilst I’m certain Rhaella loved her firstborn, I just don’t know if they were super close on account of her losses, as well as Aerys’ increasing madness.

I’ve done some rambling below the cut just to try and explore this further. Hope it makes sense lol!

To start off with, Rhaella and Aerys’ marriage was never a happy one. Aerys was unfaithful, and Rhaella clearly disapproved.

Sadly, the marriage between Aerys II Targaryen and his sister, Rhaella, was not as happy; though she turned a blind eye to most of the king’s infidelities, the queen did not approve of his “turning my ladies into his whores.”

This led Rhaella to eventually dismiss her friend and lady-in-waiting Joanna Lannister, who as everyone knows, married Aerys’ Hand, Tywin Lannister. Her marriage suffered as did her health when she lost 5 babies in a ten year period.

Relations between the king and queen grew even more strained when Rhaella proved unable to give Aerys any further children. Miscarriages in 263 and 264 were followed by a stillborn daughter born in 267. Prince Daeron, born in 269, survived for only half a year. Then came another stillbirth in 270, another miscarriage in 271, and Prince Aegon, born two turns premature in 272, dead in 273.

This tidbit had escaped me entirely but when Tytos Lannister died in 267AC, Tywin returned west and Aerys accompanied him with Rhaegar.

Though His Grace left the queen behind in King’s Landing (Her Grace was pregnant with the child who proved to be the stillborn Princess Shaena), he took their eight-year-old son Rhaegar, Prince of Dragonstone, and more than half the court. For the better part of the next year, the Seven Kingdoms were ruled from Lannisport and Casterly Rock, where both the king and his Hand were in residence…

This highlights a period of almost a year where Rhaella and Rhaegar were separated. Again, I can only assume they missed each other- as any mother and child would- but nothing is written of it. It was also during this time that Aerys’ relationship with Rhaella began to show cracks.

At first His Grace comforted Rhaella in her grief, but over time his compassion turned to suspicion. By 270 AC, he had decided that the queen was being unfaithful to him…

Aerys began imposing restrictions on Rhaella at this stage, forbidding her to leave Maegor’s Holdfast and having two septas share her bed. This probably extended to her relationship with Rhaegar too, sadly.

The march of the king’s madness seemed to abate for a time in 274 AC, when Queen Rhaella gave birth to a son. So profound was His Grace’s joy that it seemed to restore him to his old self once again … but Prince Jaehaerys died later that same year, plunging Aerys into despair….

Nothing is mentioned of Rhaegar during these troubling times, but again, I can only assume he was kept separate from the inner workings of the queen’s court and wasn’t fully exposed to his mother’s troubles. We also know he was a solitary child during his early years and preferred books until the age of ten when he decided to take up arms too. He was seventeen when Viserys was born, and was “everything that could be wanted in an heir apparent” and yet it was still overcast by Aerys’ deteriorating mental health. It’s also worthy of note that once Rhaegar came of age, his role in the workings of the court would have increased; he may have sat at council meetings and been prepared for the role of heir. This paired with the fact that he continued to read, train vigorously, and travel to Summerhall on his own indicates that he didn’t really have much of a “family environment” to speak of. I always wonder where he got his love of music from, and I’d like to think Rhaella enjoyed his sad songs and harp skills- but again, WE DON’T KNOW :’(

The birth of Prince Viserys only seemed to make Aerys II more fearful and obsessive, however. Though the new young princeling seemed healthy enough, the king was terrified lest he suffer the same fate as his brothers… Even the queen herself was forbidden to be alone with the infant…

I don’t think Rhaella and Viserys were as close as could be hoped during Viserys’ early childhood. Aerys was extremely paranoid, particularly after the defiance of Duskendale which broke him irrevocably and turned him against his wife and heir.

Convinced that the smallfolk and lords were plotting against his life and fearing that even Queen Rhaella and Prince Rhaegar might be part of these plots, he reached across the narrow sea to Pentos and imported a eunuch named Varys to serve as his spymaster…

Similarly, when Rhaegar wed Elia in 280AC, Aerys did not attend, nor did he allow Viserys to attend. Since there’s no mention of Rhaella being prohibited, we can safely assume that she was in attendance.

They were wed the following year, in a lavish ceremony at the Great Sept of Baelor in King’s Landing, but Aerys II did not attend. He told the small council that he feared an attempt upon his life if he left the confines of the Red Keep, even with his Kingsguard to protect him. Nor would he allow his younger son, Viserys, to attend his brother’s wedding…

Rhaegar and Elia took up residence on Dragonstone after the wedding, presumably because Rhaegar and Aerys were definitely at odds at this stage and rumours and paranoia were rampant. There were talks of Aerys possibly disinheriting Rhaegar, Rhaegar deposing Aerys etc. Again, no clue on how Rhaella would have felt about this- but you can probably guess! The only slight snippet we have is when Rhaegar presented Rhaenys in court.

When Prince Rhaegar returned to the Red Keep to present his daughter to his own mother and father, Queen Rhaella embraced the babe warmly…

This certainly gives us an insight to how pleased Rhaella would have been to be a grandma, so I can imagine this reunion would have been very dear to her too. Fast forward to the Tourney at Harrenhal, neither Rhaella or Viserys were present, and had been left behind at the Red Keep. During the Rebellion, we know Rhaegar meant to win the war and bring about change- for his own family too, “... changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but... well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken…”

But when Rhaegar was slain at the Trident,

When the word reached court, Aerys packed the queen off to Dragonstone with Prince Viserys…

Nothing is mentioned of her reaction to her firstborn’s death (but we can imagine) nor the nine months Rhaella and Viserys spent together, but it must have been a time fraught with worry and fear as King’s Landing fell and House Targaryen was unmade. I feel most deeply for Rhaella’s life, and I wish we had more detail on her direct relationship with her children- particularly Rhaegar- but alas, there is not much to work with. All I can say is, despite her woes and losses and the abuse she suffered, Rhaella was a strong woman, she held her own and was dignified until the end. I’m certain she adored all her children, and the pain she suffered throughout her life affected her acutely, but she remained with her faculties intact and was able to possess the fortitude to carry Daenerys to full-term and deliver her safely, before sadly perishing herself.

RIP Rhaella, your daughter is amazing and you would be so proud of her, and Rhaegar’s legacy also lives on. VIVA LA HOUSE TARGARYEN!!!! I really hope this answered your question, if not, it certainly made me sad AF to research all this.

#anon asks #chillyravenart answers #rhaella targaryen #rhaegar targaryen #its depression hour #gosh this breaks my heart man

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bubblyani · 4 years

Text

More Than Enough

(Rick x Reader)

A Rick (Knight of Cups) Songfic One Shot

Song Used: “More Than Enough” - Alina Baraz

Author’s Note: The more I listened to this song the more I was thinking of this character. So really wanted to write something for him. It was interesting trying to get that same artistic feeling Terence Malik made us feel in the movie with this. Enjoy!

Your fingers slowly grazed over the phone screen as if they were in contact with the skin of a newborn. Swiping, tapping, you did it all silently. Finally giving the screen one last tap, you waited for the Bluetooth speakers to come alive. Except it did not.

A wave of concern washed over you. Perhaps the connection was still pending, you thought. But you remained patient, with your eyes glued to the small screen that lay on the table. You gasped in the form of a soft inhalation the moment you felt Rick appear behind you, his head popping over your shoulder to glance.

“What is it?” He asked, with his gentle voice. Wearing a soft smile, you slowly turned to face him.

“You’ll see…” you said, with confidence. Yet, the music did not play. The only sounds your ears could grasp onto were the soothing sounds of the ocean nearby while the warm LA breeze caressed your body.

“It’s this song…” You began, looking down, “that I really like…” you continued, watching your right draw circles in the space between your feet and his. Though you did not show it, you wondered whether there was an error on your device. But that embarrassment quickly washed away, like a crashing wave over the sand the moment the melodic bass began to fill the atmosphere. It was slow but rhythmic, played to the time of a waltz.

“Truthfully it makes more sense now than it ever did before” you added, feeling his eyes watch you with the greatest fascination. There he goes, you thought. Doing that again. Playing the observer. But truthfully, you did not want him to be just that.

You noticed it even on the very first meeting. His eyes were what you could not get over. Never did you imagine to find a pair of eyes like his, in a place so superficial like an After party of your Dance Company’s seasonal recital. In the midst of eyes that had little to none souls left, you were refreshed to see a pair that brimmed in it.

A wealthy sponsor of your Dance Company surprisingly was your mutual acquaintance, introducing Rick as a “fellow brethren in the arts” to you and others that gathered around over chilled glasses of champagne.

“And Y/N? Our star dancer? Oh.. she’s simply the…” Compliments. You heard compliments pouring all over, you felt like you were in need of a raincoat. Even after all these years, You did not have the skin to take it all. Indeed, they were all good. A figurative pat on the back, but an overdose of anything could make anyone uncomfortable. And when your eyes met Rick’s through all the chatter. He truly did see you. So much so you swore you heard his eyes say, “I know…”

Nodding, smiling you were accustomed in sailing through the shallow waters of socialite conversation that was unavoidable. That was how it always went. But the need to escape it always lingered within you. Thankfully, with him around, it did not seem insufferable. His eyes, they kept company throughout. To the point your eyes had a silent conversation with his. You both laughed, you both cringed, inconspicuously with just your eyes. And by the end of the party you knew in your bones you wanted to see him again. And when he came over to ask you for your number, you were relieved to know he wanted the same.

Only alone were the two of you finally felt liberated to let the conversations flow. Finally, you were not the star of a dance production, or someone’s poster girl. You were just yourself. Rick spoke less than you hoped he would. Or maybe you felt this way because of the secret admiration you possessed for his voice. It moved you. It affected you. It sent tingles down your spine that energized you to talk more than usual. You filled in those silent gaps. With Rick you were at the height of your freedom. Why? You did not know. It could be due to a mutual respect stemming between the two, along with an undeniable attraction. With that attraction also came patience. He had it in abundance, so did you. Yet, that did not hold you back when he politely invited you to stop by his place after your morning date.

Bringing you to where you were, leaning against the table in his living room. The melodic chill wave music brimmed in your ears, as it ushered the vocals to finally begin:

**You got a way with words** **It takes away the hurt** **And it's a blessing and a curse to feel it all**

Looking out to the distance, you took in every word. Every line was a clear reflection of your feelings for him. So coincidental, but true. You merely hoped he would listen intently and comprehend. Slowly, your eyes began to focus on him.

**You got a way with me** **You put me in my place when I'm petty** **Give me what I want when I'm ready** **Always hold it down…**

Sensing his eyes still remained warm, a rush of boldness came over you. With just a few inches between the two, your hand rose up, slithering its way over to his neck, making a turn to end in the back of his head, hoping your fingers would hold on to his hair. Those beautiful brunette locks begged to be played with. And your fingers complied with ease. Pushing your fingers in between, you lightly attempted to scratch his head. Confidence became you when he lowered his head, his eyes closed as if to indulge in the pleasure you provided him. Just the sight of him so peaceful, you suddenly lost track of the song altogether. The words seemed unclear about of the blue, fading into the background while your heart melted by the sight of Rick. You were pleased with your influence over him. With other hand joining in, ten fingers were in a trance of their own as they traveled from his head, running softly over his collarbone down to his chest through the thin, blue cotton shirt. The music may have faded into the background, but that did not stop the both of you from swaying from side to side. You heard him chuckle deeply, reacting to your feathery touch. Bowing your head in apology, you felt embarrassed, decided to rectify the situation by moving your hands away.

Except he stopped you from doing so, by taking your hands in his, only to place them back over his chest whilst finally gazing back at you with earnest. Only then the words of the came ringing back in your delicate ears once more:

**I get lost inside all the stars in your eyes** **It's a galaxy** It was true, you really could. His eyes told a thousand stories that you wanted to be part of. Whilst pondering on that, your own eyes widened slightly as face grew closer, surprising you as he lowered his head once again, brushing his lips against your extended neck.

**You control the tide like the moon in the sky** **Or the gravity**

His lips, they teased you, placing soft kisses on the crook of your neck, that deemed most sensitive. You were tickled by his facial hair, you were even aroused, especially when you sensed a throbbing in between your thighs. He was surely a magician, or at least he was for you. Tilting your head to his side, you brushed your nose against his right temple in sheer desperation, balancing yourself by the effect of his lips, finally listening to the pre-chorus with much clarity:

**Anybody else would be gone by now** **Does it really matter?** **All that really matters**

Desperation came up another level, when you lowered your hands, tempting his to follow. Guiding them over to your waist, you made sure they stayed there. But it seemed there was no need for convincing.

**Second I'm with you, all my love pour out** **Serve it on a platter, all that really matters**

For he pulled you close, standing straight so his eyes could capture yours again. He was like a magnet, you finally allowed yourself to admit. He always was, from the moment you laid eyes on him. Feeling intoxicated without a single drop of alcohol, you felt yourself give in. Your lips cried out in silent desperation, only growing silent the moment his mouth welcomed yours, in a long awaited kiss.

**All that really matters is you keep showing up** **Promise that I'll remind you** **that you are more than enough**

Your bodies kept swaying as the kiss continued, and the music progressed into a melodic vocalise. With his grip on you growing tighter, you felt body press against yours to the most satisfying degree.

“…this was definitely not a ruse to kiss you…i swear” You muttered softly against his lips, with genuine concern. Hands leaving your waist, Rick cupped your face with an expression that was akin to the ray of the morning sun.

“I don’t care” He breathed, assuring you with another kiss, that was longer and hungrier. Patience, had clearly worn thin between the two of you.

**More than enough, More than enough, More than enough**

As the last few repeated lines appeared and faded into the soft music, you paid no attention to what song played next, nor the sky accidentally falling. For being loved by him, at that very moment, was simply more than enough.

______________________________________

@erika92pu @tealaquinn

Check my MASTERLIST for More :)

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sendnotes · 3 years

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books i read in april.

this is going to be my thing from now on. i'll compile a list of all the books i read in a month and share my thoughts on each one every end of the month.

just so you know, i'm a little forgetful, and i have a tendency to forget names, plots, and other details. i'm hoping that writing these will aid my memory in recalling how i felt about each novel.

you can also find me on goodreads

so, let’s begin, shall we?

101 essays that will change the way you think (wiest, brianna)

self-help book

this book got off to a good start! some of the essays written (or should i say a collection of articles originally published on the thoughtcatalog website) made me think and consider my outlook on life, love, and so on.

the title overstates the case though. when i think of an essay, i picture something more argumentative and philosophical. not to mention that the majority of the ideas in this book are redundant. it made it difficult to get through. nonetheless, i was able to get past it because there were so many fantastic concepts and topics discussed.

overall, it's an interesting & worthwhile read for those who enjoy thinking outside the box.i lost count of how many times this book gave me aha moments. i swear, most of the entries soothed my mind and provided a great pick-me-up when life seemed to be frustrating.

the midnight library (haig, matt)

science fiction, fantasy fiction, psychological fiction

regrets, self-remorse, what ifs, family approval, drugs, dreams, love, passion, hatred, death, afterlife, multiverses, quantum physics, and a plethora of possibilities packed into a 304-page book.

i'll be honest: this book is already on my list of favorites. i'm simply blown away by how well-crafted and diverse the entire story unfolded.

a sci-fi novel with a dash of fantasy and a smidgeon of philosophy. if that's your thing, you should give this book a shot.

the first few pages of the book gave me an impression and led me to surmise it was going to be a cheesy ass chick lit novel that i'd only read and find enjoyable in high school. i was completely off base. it proved to be very mature, full of lessons, but delivered in a fun and entertaining manner— exactly my cup of tea.

it reminded me of a disney pixar film called soul, in which the afterlife is depicted in vivid detail. they differ on so many levels, but they both imagine life after death for people who are unsure of their path, purpose, and passion.

every chapter served a significant concept, so this book is well-deserved of a 5-star rating!

norwegian wood (murakami, haruki)

fiction, romance novel, bildungsroman

as i read the book and neared the end, all i could think about was how this book became one of murakami's most popular and influential works.

murakami offers a sprawling glimpse into the lives of a group of severely damaged youths grappling with the realities of what emptiness entails. take what you will from it.

i know a lot of people like it, which is fine. but please keep in mind that this book hit me square in the gut. it alternated between making me angry, sad, annoyed, and disgusted almost constantly. there isn't much else.

this book should come with a warning: "this is not a good place to start if you're new to murakami's works. this is not a representative of murakami's brilliance."

fist and foremost, the characters in this book are all repulsive.

toru watanabe was a fuckboy and a softboy rolled into one. what could possibly be worse than that? he'd have as many casual sexual partners as he could while also buttering a girl up by appealing to her emotions and displaying a "sensitive" and "vulnerable" side.

this book was made even more depressing by the fact that each female character was needy, weak, dysfunctional, and dependent. since they're all the same, i'm not going to go over each of these female characters one by one. you already get the idea.

reiko ishida, imo, was one of the best rendered sections of the novel. most likely because she had a better grasp on her emotions and goals than the still seeking youths... until, *spoiler alert* she wanted to do it with toru as well. a big disappointment.

to summarize, this book is primarily concerned with two topics: sex and death.

hidden meanings are everywhere, but when you get to the core, that's all that remains.

the four agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (ruiz, miguel)

self-help book

first agreement ⏤ be impeccable with your word

this essentially means that you should not spew gossip or use words to harm others. because words have tremendous power and can cause significant harm. you are not only negatively affecting others with your hateful and thoughtless words, but you are also hurting yourself. this is something with which i generally agree. how i see it, when people are unhappy with themselves, they turn to others to make themselves feel better. as a result, they gossip about others in order to divert attention away from themselves.

second agreement ⏤don't take anything personally

alright. sure. don't let what others say about you bother you. it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. well, i don't entirely agree, but i think it's a fantastic idea in general. however, achieving this goal will be extremely difficult. i believe it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen. plus, i honestly believe that other people's opinions still matter because they keep you in check. the best advice is to not be swayed by these opinions, but to consider why they were expressed in the first place. see what you can do to improve yourself from there. sure, it can be difficult to deal with; after all, no one likes being told they're wrong or whatnot. but it's not all bad news because you can sometimes use criticism and judgment to give you a competitive edge. i mean- don't you think hearing someone else's point of view is also an opportunity to learn and progress? ruiz should have stressed that it's not just about "not taking it personally because you know you're not that person," but also about not retaliating with an extreme knee-jerk reaction even if you believe you're being unfairly criticized.

third agreement ⏤ don't make assumptions

this is a real eye-opener for me. i've noticed that whenever i become enraged by someone's words, it's usually due to my tendency to assume. personally, i can't help but make assumptions. i don't know what other people's motivations are, and i can't help but draw conclusions based on the information i have. even if the other person had no intention of causing me harm, it's too late. the thought has become ingrained in my mind, and i never ask for clarification out of pride or fear of appearing overly sensitive.

fourth agreement ⏤ always do your best

this section did not seem particularly useful to me. i mean, aren't we all reminded of this all the time? this section is filled with sloppy writing, in my opinion. as if he badly wanted to finish the book and impulsively thought: "okay, fourth agreement: always do your best. that should suffice. lmao"

overall opinion: the third agreement was my favorite, but the rest were a no-go. don't get me wrong, i appreciated his ideas, but i've heard them all a hundred times before. basically, the book's sole takeaway is that we are all suffering in some way in our daily lives, and we are all dealing with different issues. regardless, we all need to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others.

the song of achilles (miller, madeline)

romance novel, historical Fiction, war story

i'll keep it short and sweet:

i really wouldn't have had this book any other way. miller's writing is breathtaking, so rich and full of lovely detail. it's incredibly a unique concept to me that authors are rewriting such ancient history and stories to make them lgbt+!

some suggest it's tedious, but i disagree. it isn't slow; rather, it is just right.

'cause at the end of the day, it's not about war, tragedy, or heroes - it's a slow-burning, organic love tale between two young men and their inevitable connection.

it's sad, tender, and painful, but in the best way possible.

circe (miller, madeline)

novel, historical fiction, fantasy fiction

"greek mythology, but with a feminist twist"?! sign me the hell up! this piqued my interest... only to leave me feeling completely let down. seriously now. circe was described as a "badass empowered woman," which was the single most compelling selling point for me, and thus the most wrenching disappointment, i must say.

sure, it demonstrated the value of feminine power, but it also did represent how this power can be a force of good or evil.

not to mention the fact that circe fucked a married man or two in this book- i mean- how is that an ~empowered woman~?

let's be clear right off the bat: madeline miller's follow-up to the song of achilles is epic in scope but not necessarily in execution. to me, this read more like a tedious island tale. regardless of how many five-star reviews this book has received... i just don't think it's well-deserved. don't get me wrong here. miller is a fantastic author with a lush writing! istg- i'm blown away by how beautifully she wrote and carefully chose her words. even the most mundane phrases were written poetically. after-all, it’s greek mythology. but how did she manage to make circe seem so... bland?

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shardweavers · 3 years

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Chapter Sixteen - Memories on the Tides

The trip from Lakeland had started out quiet. The fishing boat was a medium-sized ship, with a few cabins for a small crew. The trip would likely take the evening to navigate from the Source to Venmont Yards. Emet-Selch's money had gotten them closer to Eulmore, but that still meant going to the docks at the shipyard. The only way straight to the city was via an airship. While there had been talks of an airship route between the Crystarium and Eulmore, and visits from Chai-Nuzz to the Crystal Exarch, the implementation of the actual trip was still a ways off.

Emet-Selch had been first to board Dadfort's vessel. Shoto was next, then Yuki, and finally Sumire. The four split into two groups, each taking a crew cabin. Emet-Selch was assigned to share a cabin with Sumire, while Yuki would share a cabin with Shoto. The Viera stood firm on this arrangement, and took Shoto's bag from Sumire.

"We'll meet you in the kitchen where we can talk about what to do once we're in Kholusia. For now, go put your things away." Yuki directed, taking up a leadership role for the moment. Shoto let herself be led off to their cabin, not wanting to fight right now.

Sumire turned to look at the Ascian, only to wince and rub at his right eye. He looked away immediately, then headed toward the other cabin. "Come on, it's best to listen to Yuki when she's this insistent."

"I haven't anything I care to put away," the Ascian replied, not following after the Dragoon.

Sumire stopped, then looked back, making sure only his left eye could see him. "Then at least come choose your bed. I'll put my things on the other one and we can go meet them in the kitchen."

Hades looked to the Miqo'te, then gave a dramatic sigh as he moved to follow him. "Very well. I suppose you make a point."

* * * The kitchen, for what it was worth, was mostly just that; a table and chairs for crewmembers to eat while at sea. It served as a good meeting place, though, and Dadfort was currently making a bit of food and coffee for everyone. He had one crewmember with him for the trip, and had entrusted them with navigation above deck until everyone was settled. They had overheard Dadfort telling his First Mate that he'd take over once they'd left the Source and were into the Divide proper.

The four passengers sat silently around the table as the ship headed across the lake; Dadfort sat plates in front of Shoto and Yuki with a smile, then went back to get two more plates for Sumire and Emet-Selch. Shoto sniffed at the food before her, and her expression seemed to brighten instantly. It looked really fancy to her for a quick meal; crab cakes, with some quickly grilled mixed vegetables beside them. Yuki poked at her crab cakes with a fork as Dadfort gave the boys their food. Hades wrinkled his nose a bit at the simplistic meal, but Sumire looked impressed. His ears flicked and he moved to eat immediately. Shoto also dug in once the others had their food. Yuki sighed quietly and began to eat the vegetables; she watched the Ascian poke at the food as if uncertain.

"Venmont Yards isn't far from Eulmore," Dadfort broke the awkward silence. "It's the closest dock to the city, and the least distance you'd need to walk without an airship up." He brought a tray to the table with 4 cups of coffee, some cream and sugar. "We're heading straight there, but it will still take some time to cross the Divide to Kholusia. Whenever you get tired, feel free to sleep. Likely won't get there 'til morning."

"We're grateful for your hospitality, my good man," Emet-Selch smiled at the Galdjent fisherman.

"Least I could do is provide some food after making you wait longer for the ship than I meant to." He smiled and gestured to the coffee tray. "Please take your time eating. I'm gonna head above deck and trade off with my First Mate so's he can eat too." The captain headed off with another tray. It held two more plates and cups of coffee. He seemed a bit better now that they were on the water, though he had repeated that he wouldn't stay longer than simply dropping them off.

As soon as they were alone, Yuki used her fork to point at Emet-Selch. "What's wrong with your dinner? Not fancy enough for your exacting tastes?"

"You haven't touched the meat either, Viera."

"I'm still eating," she made a face. Sumire and Shoto silently looked to one another, then both reached for a cup of coffee; they'd eaten half of their crab cakes already. Yuki continued to watch the Ascian; he once again made an uncertain face, and used his fork to poke at what was on his plate... without eating any of it. Yuki ate the rest of her vegetables, leaving only the crab cake. She looked to Shoto, then to Sumire; both of them finished the crab cakes already, though Shoto was taking her time on the veggies. Sumire's plate was empty, and he held his coffee cup against him with both hands.

Yuki realized she'd never seen him turn down any sort of food, even if she felt unsure about it. She was also used to being last to finish... perhaps that was why she futzed about? There wasn't anything particularly odd about the crab cakes; she'd had them before in Limsa Lominsa. These did smell different, but they didn't smell bad.

'You're overthinking it, Yuki, just eat your crab! ' She silently yelled at herself. She started to eat her cakes with a frustrated pout.

Sumire blinked at her, then silently chuckled into his cup. His reaction drew Emet-Selch's attention; the Ascian raised an eyebrow as he looked between the male Miqo'te and the female Viera.

Shoto looked up from her remaining veggies, to Emet-Selch, then to Sumire, then to Yuki. She tilted her head; she didn't quite understand the look the Ascian was giving them.

"Did I miss something...?" Shoto bit her fork. Sumire looked over to her, then to Emet-Selch. He blushed a little as he looked back to Shoto.

"I just found Yuki's pouty eating funny, it wasn't really anything... vital."

"It isn't pouty, Sumire, I was just unfocused!"

"It also looked like a pout to me, Emet-Selch added, in a flat voice. Yuki glared at him, as she managed to keep herself from blushing too much.

The Ascian shrugged, then looked back to the food in front of him. It wasn't fancy, that was true, but neither was the sandwich he ate last night. He'd certainly eaten worse meals.

"You should eat too," Shoto pouted.

Emet-Selch looked up, then back to the food. No one else seemed to react to her words, and it had felt directed... maybe he'd just been distracted. He gave her a dramatic little sigh, then replied playfully, "Well, if you insist."

It had been an exchange out loud, but her feelings had pushed the point home. Yuki seemed focused on Sumire, who had finished his coffee and seemed to be staring at the cup. Emet-Selch made a show of forcing himself to eat, but it wasn't much of one; he found he liked the taste, and decided to simply finish the food.

The rest of dinner went on in mostly silence. When the Ascian finished, he stood up to leave. Sumire looked up, a bit of hesitance in his voice, “You heading back to the room then?”

Emet-Selch rolled his eyes at the question, “Fret not, the room is all yours.” The Ascian did not elaborate any further on his decision, he simply waved a hand as he wandered off.

Yuki frowned as she shook her head. The distrust of the Ascian was still clear on her face, but a tired look from Sumire caused her to frown. “Perhaps, it's best if we all retire to our rooms... we've got a long night ahead of us.”

Shoto nodded in agreement and scooted her chair back. "We should be sure to thank Dadfort for the meal and the ride in the morning." She smiled a bit, then turned to head off. Yuki and Sumire both made a sound in agreement.

The group moved back towards the crew cabins they were staying in. Sumire stopped at the one he was now staying in alone, as the two girls continued on to the further cabin. Yuki paused for a moment at their cabin door, then looked back to Sumire with concern. “If you need anything, you know where our room is…” A blush spread across her cheeks, “N-Not that you would... need anything from us. Whatever.” With a pout, Yuki stormed past Shoto, into their room. The female Miqo'te blinked, then giggled and waved good night to the male Miqo'te.

Sumire gave a tired smile in response, and pushed into the dark cabin. He barely got his door shut, then fumbled with his shirt as he stumbled over to the bed he'd picked earlier. He didn't so much crawl into bed as collapse onto it. Sleep encroached upon him quickly. His eyelids felt heavy as he almost instantly drifted off to sleep.

He could hear the ocean; at least, it certainly sounded like it; it was certainly a lot of water nearby. The smell was more enclosed, almost like a cave, but... drier. Sumire swore he had been in bed only a moment ago... he remembered crawling into it, barely managing to take most of his clothes off first. It felt like he was on something much more solid than that; a rock?

He could hear someone approaching wherever he was; hurried footsteps on solid rock, it sounded like. The person beside him moved closer to his ear, as their hand rested on his shoulder and arm.

"Theia, wake up."

I've heard that name before...

He felt hands on his arm gently shaking him, as the same voice repeated their call.

"Theia, you've been dreaming for a while now. It's time to wake up."

...dreaming...?

"Mmm, Khione, surely I couldn't have been away that long," Sumire heard a female voice answer. It had felt like he had spoken the words, but... he knew he hadn't. The male Miqo'te paused, as he felt someone help him sit up on the rock that he could feel beneath him.

This was so very strange... it was almost like the Echo, yet... it didn't feel right to him.

"Khione... did you happen to see my blindfold on the way here?" The female voice asked, as Sumire felt himself stand. "I lost it somewhere along the path here..."

"No, I hadn't. I'll help you find it on the way back, Theia." Khione replied, apologetically. "And if we can't find it, I'll just get you a new one."

"Thank you," Theia responded, as she took hold of Khione's arm.

This is... not... a dream... is it...?

Sumire realized he wasn't in control of the things he felt, heard, and said... yet... he felt conscious. It was very confusing. He quickly realized the sensations he felt were familiar to him; whoever 'Theia' was, she was blind.

He'd had to learn to sense the world the same way after he'd barely survived the dragon's attack. His right eye was completely blind for years, until he began training as a Dragoon. During that training, he had learned to sense aether and had regained a partial sight that vastly improved his reaction time. He then found he could also use the dragon's blood to see with his right eye more clearly, and that took moons to balance and adjust to.

...He hadn't thought about any of this in a long time.

His focus was pulled back as he felt hands running through his hair; makeshift combing. Yuki had done it to him before, when he'd made them late.

"Your hair is a mess , Theia." Khione's voice playfully scolded.

Sumire let out a breath, as Theia fidgeted, and he decided to relax, and see where this would go.

"That tends to happen," Theia reached up to fluff her own hair; short in the back, with two longer pieces in the front. She wore a slightly oversized robe, which she fixed, then pulled the hood of it up onto her head.

"We were to meet Persephone for tea, if you recall." Khione took Theia's hand to lead her forward. "She said she has someone for us to meet."

"Oh?" Theia perked up, and smiled, "Another star?"

"That's the impression she and Krystallos gave." Khione lifted her hands, and Theia cautiously tapped her foot to find a few rock steps down.

"I wonder what they're like."

"I'm sure they're as unique as we are," Khione said, her grin evident in her voice.

Theia chuckled as they headed along a stone path. She let go of Khione's arm, hurried ahead a few paces, then turned and slowly walked backwards. "I'm glad we were delayed in leaving again. I've almost memorized the whole city... it's such a big, wonderful place."

"You've seemed happier lately," Khione hurried her pace to match Theia's. "Perhaps tonight we could take a walk somewhere you've yet to memorize?"

"I'd like that," Theia smiled, then paused. She turned her head towards a sound and scent that were familiar.

"Persephone, we were just coming to tea. Whatever is the matter?" Khione sounded concerned.

"I'm so sorry. The person I wanted you to meet ran off."

"Are they okay? We don't bite," Theia joked.

Persephone chuckled quietly, then took a moment to catch her breath before she continued. "I don't know. There was a terrible sound, and he panicked. Krystallos went after him... I came to find you both. Have you heard or seen anything?"

"I didn't see anything on the way here," Khione trailed off a bit, thoughtfully.

Theia frowned, "I smell brimstone... and there was a deep growl in the wind." She turned her head into the wind, "The wind is coming from the... park, if I recall my directions."

"We should go," Persephone moved even as she decided. "Carefully."

Khione took Theia's hand, and moved to follow her, "If we find whatever made the noise and scent you caught, I'll find you a safe place for you to stay before I go to help Persephone. Okay?"

"Okay." Theia shifted her hold to Khione's arm, and they sped up a bit.

They hadn't run long before Theia slowed, and coughed. Khione turned to check on her immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"The brimstone smell," she coughed, then reached a hand up to her mouth and nose, "it's mixed with a smoky smell... and it's really strong." Another cough into her hand was followed by a deep growl.

"That sound came from that way," Persephone said, worriedly. "I can't tell if it's coming from the city or heading towards it, though."

"Theia, stay here." Khione hurriedly led her to a large, sturdy tree, then placed her hands on the trunk. "We'll go see what it is making that sound and smell."

Theia nodded, as she coughed again, then frowned. She felt a silk cloth placed into her hand, then lifted her head a bit.

"Take this, it should help with the smell that's bothering you."

"B-But... Persephone... isn't this... your scarf?"

"If it helps you, then I don't mind." Persephone absolutely beamed, as she gently pushed Theia's hand with the scarf. "Stay here, we'll be right back, okay?"

"Th-Thank you." Theia nodded gratefully, then hurriedly tied the scarf around her face to cover her nose and mouth. The smell instantly muted, and she no longer felt the strong urge to cough. She shifted to hold onto the tree, and listened carefully for any signs of trouble or anything she needed to run from.

Her thoughts turned to dreams, and she frowned; her fingers gripped the trunk a little. She scrunched her nose a little, then shook her head. "That dream still haunts me. A city of fire. Alone in the flames. Why do I keep seeing it...?" Theia frowned, then quietly rested her head against the tree. She spoke quietly to herself after a thoughtful moment, "Khione, I worry... is it... because of what happened... then...?" Her thoughts trailed off as she caught the sudden sound of splashing in the distance, followed by faint crying, and a whimper. "I wonder... if that's who we were supposed to meet...?" She turned her head a bit, then sniffed. "Hm...?" She sniffed again, through the scarf...

"Wait... This is near the gazebo we've met at before! I can smell that odd tree from here... even over the brimstone scent." Theia smiled a bit at her recognition, then left the tree. She hurried forward; one hand reaching out for a railing she knew should be around.

It turned out to be further away than she had expected, but she reached the familiar gazebo, and hurried up the few stairs to sit on a bench. The sounds of snarling and items breaking made her flinch, but she took a deep breath and closed her eyes to focus. Her left hand came up to hold her right shoulder as her head lowered.

Sumire felt a sudden shift, and flinched as he suddenly saw the strange vision. He adjusted quickly, and felt Theia relax here.

Before them lay a vast field of colors and shapes. He realized these places and images were distorted to him, but to her, they were perfectly normal... He felt they were things that brought her comfort. She knew precisely where she was in the space, and precisely where to go.

I recognize... some of these colors. They're the unchanging shades of aether for flora.

He touched the scar over his right eye.

...She can see... aether...?

He felt confused. It was how he balanced his sight, and therefore used all the time since he learned it. The dragon's blood helped balance the cost of that method, but came with occasional unbidden visions from the dragon. He knew Y'shtola was permanently blind from her time in the lifestream, and she used that method now all the time. So he wondered, if Theia could do it as well, why wasn't she always using her aether sight to navigate...?

He was solely interested in what lay before him. He no longer wondered what this was nor why he was seeing it, but instead, what would happen. Once more his wandering thoughts were interrupted, as he felt Theia stand, then walk over to a large, dark shape. She calmly reached out to place her hands on its head, as she quietly hummed what he recognized as a sort of lullaby. He didn't remember hearing it before... but it still felt familiar.

The big shape growled, then slowly curled up on the ground, as it fell asleep. Once it had stopped moving, Theia turned to hurry back to her seat, just in time for Khione's worried voice beside her.

"Theia?"

"Hmm?" Theia shifted towards the voice. Her arm lowered onto her lap, and pulled the scarf off her face on the way. Khione put an arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her in.

After some hurried scuffling, Theia heard Persephone greet Hades, followed by a soft sigh and a snap. She heard crackling of a crystal substance she associated with a cage, or a prison the guards would use on stray creations.

"Where have you been, Hythlodaeus?" Hades asked, exasperated.

"I went to get people to help transport the escapee back!" His grin was evident in his barely held-back chuckle. "C'mon, I knew you had it, Hades." He moved towards the sleeping, crystal-prisoned creature with a flourish of his robe. "And you did!"

Hades sighed, then also moved towards the sleeping creature. "It's quite strange that a wild creature like this managed to escape from Lahabrea's lab... I'll have to have another talk with him about letting experiments get away."

"Th-That... That one... w-was mine," a new voice spoke meekly. "But... I-I don't know why... it would be... here."

"Is that why you ran from the sound, Asopus?" Persephone asked, as she turned toward the two boys.

"I-I'm sorry. It... It was instinct. Th-The sound... scared me," he whimpered, "I thought I'd screwed up again... I-It should have been sealed in Anamnesis!"

Krystallos frowned, concerned, then hugged the younger man comfortingly. "It's okay, Asopus."

"Why was it sealed there ...?" Hades mumbled. The guards shrank the large crystal prison to a more manageable size, then marked it with a caution symbol before transporting it away. It had happened before, Theia knew exactly what they did. She wondered why something that large and potentially dangerous had been loose in the city in the first place, but the danger was over for now; she could always ponder things later.

Hythlodaeus moved to follow the guards, "I'll handle your paperwork, dear friend~! You spend the afternoon with your beloved!" He then chuckled as he hurried off. Persephone ran over to hug Hades in greeting, as Asopus reassured Krystallos he was better now.

Theia blinked her eyes open, then leaned against Khione tiredly. The older woman ran her hand over the younger one's short, blond hair.

Khione spoke quietly, a slightly scolding tone to her voice, "You know how much that takes out of you, Theia. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I was worried!" Theia leaned her head towards Khione's hand. "It's okay, I knew where I was. I could smell the strange tree that's always in the park."

Khione paused, then looked around, "The strange tree...? There's no odd trees in the park, Theia."

"Yes there is, I can smell it. It's always here when we're here. It's very distinct." Theia took in a deep breath. She then pointed over towards Hades and Persephone, "It's that way. That strange tree is always here, so I know I'm in the park."

There was a moment of silence as Khione looked between Theia and where she was pointing. After a few moments, Theia hadn't changed her position nor said she was joking... and Khione laughed. She drew attention to the two in the gazebo.

Theia pouted, "What's so funny?"

"Theia, you're pointing at Hades," Khione barely managed between chuckles. She hugged the younger woman, who blinked, then took another sniff of the air.

"Hades smells like a tree?"

"Apparently to you. Oh, Theia," Khione continued to laugh, as Theia blushed, then began to laugh with her. She laced her fingers with Khione as she did so, then leaned into her shoulder.

Hades, Persephone, Krystallos, and Asopus weren't able to hear anything but the girls' laughter from where they were, but Hades had seen her point at him. He sighed again, then hugged Persephone as he mumbled about her odd friends. She just snickered in response.

"Are you sure you're okay, Yuki?" Shoto asked, worriedly; her eyes drawn to the unconscious Dragoon on the Summoner's back. Yuki simply nodded and gave an affirmative sound. "Any ideas what's wrong?"

Yuki shook her head, "No... there's only been one other time I had to carry him like this, but he was very sick then." She just continued forward as she replied. Shoto frowned, then hurried on ahead to keep pace with Emet-Selch. Yuki looked to Sumire's violet hair, and mumbled to herself. "...I'm just... worried about you, Sumi."

He whimpered quietly, and shifted. Yuki looked surprised, then cleared her throat as Sumire reached up to his head.

"Oh good, you're finally awake," Yuki spoke, which alerted Shoto and Emet-Selch to the Dragoon's movements.

"Sumire! Are you alright?" Shoto asked as she hurried back. The Dragoon flicked his ears, then lifted his head to look at her.

"Wh... Where am I...?" He looked up a bit, then sounded confused, "Kho...lusia...? H-How long... have I been... out...?"

"Since whenever you fell asleep last night," Yuki replied for her.

Shoto nodded, "We couldn't wake you up when we arrived this morning. You had us worried!" Her tone was scared, yet he could tell she was relieved to be talking to him. Sumire blinked, then frowned as he lowered his head.

"I... I'm sorry," he flinched, then reached to cover his right eye; his chin dug into Yuki's shoulder a little. Shoto gently patted Sumire's head, then hurried forward to keep pace with Emet-Selch once more. She relayed the info to the Ascian as Yuki shook her head.

The Viera slowed a little, to put more distance between them and the Ascian. "Are you really alright, Sumire...?" Her voice shook a little as she asked, despite her best efforts not to.

Sumire frowned, "I'm... not sure. I don't... remember much about last night. I know... we were on the boat. I remember feeling tired after I ate. I had," he trailed off, then lowered his arm to half hug Yuki's shoulders. "...I had a strange dream."

Yuki frowned, then looked forward again, "Was it one of those dreams?"

"N-No," Sumire stuttered, as he shook his head. He had always told her his 'bad feelings' came from 'the dragon's dreams'. They were what made him wary of situations... and helped them avoid trouble sometimes. This hadn't been anything like that, though... He looked up, then flinched as he looked to Shoto and Emet-Selch, "No, it... I-I'm sorry... for making you... take care of me."

"It's fine," she shifted him a little on her back, "We couldn't very well leave you behind."

"Y-You can... let me off... a-at the aetheryte shard near the entrance. I don't... I don't think I can... make the trek up to it yet." He let go of Yuki's shoulders with one arm, and once again held his head, favoring covering his right eye.

She frowned in response, then lowered her head a little. "Don't be ridiculous. I'll take the stairs up. We'll find you a place in the parlor to sit and rest."

"But--"

"No buts. I won't have you passing out again because you used the aethernet while low on aether."

Sumire blinked, low on aether...? He hadn't thought that might be the problem... was that... what someone had noticed?

Yuki noticed his silence. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad...?" He lowered his arm, then looked down to the path. "I... I hadn't thought of that... being my issue. I should have listened to you when you noticed something was wrong... I'm sorry."

Yuki shook her head as they passed some familiar faces in Gatetown. Most people left them alone, though, even though they could see one of the group being carried. Things were still slow to change, but it didn't seem to bother the Viera. Shoto turned to look back at the two worriedly. Yuki simply nodded and gave her a small, reassuring smile to let her keep going. "Do you remember Ala Mhigo, Sumire?"

"Which... part?"

Yuki gave a nostalgic smile, then glanced at his face for a moment. She took a breath and looked up to the gates ahead of them, "I carried you for a long distance to keep us ahead of the Imperials. You were sick with that terrible fever, but we couldn't stay still. We were the last two left from our group, and they chased us all the way to Kugane."

"I... remember some of that... I was... very out of it then," Sumire mumbled, with a blush.

Yuki chuckled, then nodded, "I took care of you for a week, and didn't stop until we'd found a way to get to Doma..." She frowned, "I didn't want either of us caught... I was so grateful for the Doman Resistance. They didn't have to help us, but... they helped take care of your fever."

"I remember waking up to that Doman girl poking my arm," he mumbled into Yuki's shoulder.

"She was worried! You had been asleep for two days straight," Yuki chuckled, then trailed off. She looked down as they approached the steps up to the entrance of Eulmore. "I was... scared that would happen again. The way you've been acting lately... when we couldn't wake you after we arrived at Venmont Yards... all I could think of was that I had to get you to Eulmore. That Alphinaud might be able to help. Shoto couldn't find anything wrong with you." She briefly glanced up to the guards. They greeted the group as they passed through the door. Shoto and Emet-Selch headed off to head up the stairs, and they seemed to be caught up in a conversation. Yuki wasn't paying much attention to them nor where she was walking. She was distracted enough that she just kept going forward without stopping. Sumire didn't seem to notice either.

"Thank you... Khione," The Dragoon jerked as the name left his mouth. He reached up to cover his mouth, then sounded confused. "Wh... Why did I say that...?"

Yuki wanted to ask who Khione was, but she felt like she should already know that somehow, and never spoke the question. She stopped as she looked up to see they were by the elevator, and blinked. "Ah, I went too far. I wasn't paying attention." Sumire looked ready to be sick, with his hand over his mouth. Yuki looked a bit worn from their conversation.

"Good morning, ma'am! You seem to need the elevator," a Mystel guard spoke up, even as a Hume turned his head away. The Mystel turned to open the doors for Yuki, and gave her an apologetic smile. "This will take you the whole way up. Please relax."

Yuki heard the Hume grumble something, but it was incoherent.

The Mystel seemed to understand him though, then hissed, "Quiet. "

"Thank you," Yuki replied, quietly, and accepted the elevator trip. Sumire stayed silent until they were alone, on the way up.

"You can let me down."

"Sumire."

"I'll take my time walking, and I will sit in the parlor while you go find Alphinaud. If Y'shtola has arrived, I'm sure they're talking." Sumire shifted, and Yuki carefully let go of his legs. He caught himself on the elevator handrail, then leaned against the wall. "Thank you... Yuki. I didn't mean to cause trouble."

"Nonsense," she crossed her arms, as she stared at the doors before them. "I don't mind making sure you're okay... Sumi."

The Miqo'te Dragoon fidgeted, his tail flick back and forth thoughtfully. Sumire then looked up to Yuki, but couldn't find any words to say. He felt guilty for the trouble he'd caused, and that he hadn't told Yuki how he truly felt. His eye was making him dizzy, he was having trouble focusing, and he had felt more exhausted than ever after they left. His ears pinned back, "I didn't want anyone to worry about me... and... instead, I made you all worry about me more. I hadn't thought that my problems could be aether-related, I just... I thought I was doing something wrong. I tried to push through it and take care of it myself, but... that hasn't worked. I don't know what to do now."

"We'll figure out what's going on. Perhaps Y'shtola might have an insight to your aether problem. I'll ask her after we've caught up on everything."

"Yuki... I passed out on you when I was asleep." Sumire stood up, his tail flicked in annoyance with himself. "That's... That's not just a simple problem. I can't just try to sleep more and eat better."

"Maybe it has something to do with your eye," Yuki frowned, but she stayed staring at the door ahead of her. Questions formed in her mind; what she could ask of Y'shtola.

"I feel like I want to sleep for days..." Yuki stiffened her shoulders at his admission. Her ear twitched as he continued, "There's a part of me that's not surprised you couldn't wake me... but... that dream I had while unconscious confuses me. I saw..." He trailed off. Yuki finally turned to look down to him.

"...You saw what, Sumire...?"

"I saw... nothing. Except... near the end. I saw what looked like a hallucination. It was just... colors and shapes then. Everything else was... sounds. Smells. Sensations."

"That's... an odd dream."

"Yuki..."

"Hm...?"

Sumire flicked his ears, then looked up to her, concerned. His right eye was closed, as if it bothered him. "It felt like when I was younger. Right after I was hurt."

"When you... lost... your sight...?" She looked to his right eye, and he nodded once.

"They weren't sure if I'd be able to see again, so they covered both of my eyes until the wound healed. I lived like that for a few years. They figured that I'd been completely blinded and never bothered to check... I just... accepted that."

Yuki nearly forgot where they were, and turned to look at Sumire fully. She only knew pieces of his past. He'd never hidden the fact that his eye was technically blind, but she didn't know that much detail. "They eventually learned you could still see then?"

"S-Sort of. The Matron wanted to see if I could get rid of the blindfold. My left eye was very sensitive to light for nearly a moon until it adjusted to being used again. I felt very lucky I had retained any sight, but... it took a long time to adjust..."

"This dream of yours felt like that, then...?"

"It was the dream of someone who had no sight. Everything else was amplified to make up for that. The pieces I could see anything in, were so fanciful and colorful, as if the person had never seen what anything was really like, but... I," he trailed off, his tail curled the other way, and he touched his chest. "I felt like I knew what everything was supposed to be... even if I don't quite remember every little detail now."

"Maybe it was just your mind remembering something from then. You were unconscious." Yuki explained. Sumire shook his head before he had a chance to think about her reply, but he took a moment to think.

"I... I heard..."

Yuki tilted her head as he hesitated. Even she could hear the bustle from the Canopy as the elevator slowed, and glanced to the doors. "You heard what, Sumire?"

"...Emet-Selch."

The doors opened with a ding, as the elevator stopped. Yuki couldn't respond, as Shoto called for them, worriedly. Yuki took Sumire's arm to help him walk out of the elevator. He accepted her help and let her choose what seat he would sit in.

"I was so worried when I looked back and realized you two weren't behind us. I was going to take the elevator back down. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Shoto. One of the guards down below let us use the elevator to come up. We took the offer. I'm sorry we worried you." Yuki smiled. Shoto shook her head and sat across from Sumire at the table.

"Sumire, are you feeling better?"

"I-I'll be okay. However, I promised Yuki I'd wait here for you to find Alphinaud. I won't go anywhere, I promise," he smiled at her, reassuringly.

Shoto pouted a little, then nodded and pointed a finger at him. "Okay, but I'll hold you to that!"

He blinked, then smiled a little and nodded, "If I don't behave, I expect both you and Yuki to let me have it." He gave Shoto a small chuckle, then looked out to the ocean. He seemed immediately distracted, and the female Miqo'te stood up to look at Yuki.

"Any idea where," Yuki paused, then glanced around, "...where our other... associate... is?"

"He... said he didn't want to cause trouble up here... in case someone recognized him." Shoto frowned, then crossed her arms, "So he went back down for a walk. That's how I realized you two weren't behind us on the stairs."

Yuki frowned, disapprovingly. "I feel like we shouldn't let him out of our sight."

"He won't leave." Shoto immediately argued, then blushed slightly. "That is. He promised me he'd stay around the area before he headed off..."

Yuki frowned more, then looked to Shoto for a moment before she gave up for now. She looked past Shoto, "Alright, alright... but do we have any ideas where Alphinaud might be?"

"He may be in a morning meeting with Chai-Nuzz upstairs. We could ask?"

"Hey. Come to think of it... that guard said the elevator would take us all the way to the top, but it stopped here..."

"That's probably just a habit. It's been a long time since anyone could freely go upstairs, remember?" Shoto turned to head off. She spied Alphinaud heading over to the parlor with Chai-Nuzz and cheered up immediately. "There he is! I was right!" She wiggled her ears proudly, then turned to look at Yuki. The Viera had looked back to Sumire in the moment of silence. Shoto pouted, then tugged her arm. "Yuki, c'mon. Let's go check in with Alphinaud."

"Eh?" She blinked, then looked away from the Dragoon, and spied Alphinaud; who had caught sight of them across the way, and waved. Shoto happily waved back and headed off. Yuki hesitated, but followed her a moment later.

None of us meant for this update to take over a month. @_@; It feels like the time literally just blew past. But! Here's Chapter 16 for all of you lovely starlings. Angel's computer is having issues, so the art of Theia that she'd been working on for the Amarout portion of this chapter got lost. :( As always, thank you all for your support and patience!

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thecardsimagine · 4 years

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Hi... uh. I have a fever, it comes and goes constantly, and I'm feeling really bad... Could I request an HC of Julian and Lucio taking care of a sick but really stubborn and reluctant MC that finally gives in, but not with the plague? Just a strong cold, with fever and coughing that makes them throw up because it's so strong and body pains. It's a trans male / nonbinary MC, fluffy fluff, Post-Arcana Julian, and Pre-plague Lucio, please. And it's ok if you don't want to. ^_^

(We clarified pronouns beforehand and decided for him/his / Also sorry I am late I had a bad case of exhaustion for the last three days and was unable to write at all)

Thank you for the request I hope you feel better soon! Get well!

≿————-————- ❈ ————-————-≾

Lucio

Lucio will want the best for his darling MC. The best bed, the best doctors, the best medicine, and ideally recovery by dinner. He gets it better than anyone that his s/o wouldn’t want to be stuck in bed, but it’s only for his best after all. There is quite a bit of come and go of new doctors and nurses, only straining his s/o more than necessary, but if the doctors have nothing to provide a quick recovery with, Lucio is just too impatient to endure them. So his next idea is healers and magicians. While his s/o will feel better initially with homemade brews and house-wife remedies, he still won’t be fit enough for dancing and partying that evening, which is when Lucio has to handle his disappointment about it. He makes sure that his s/o knows that this is not him giving up as he plops down on the bed and pries off his shoes, kicking them somewhere further into the room

Announcing they can party the next day when he feels better, Lucio will instruct the servants to have warm drinks ready and served all throughout the night, and also bring some sweets and delicacies for late-night snacks and cravings. Finally, he will settle in with his s/o, some distance between the two but Lucio keeps facing him, alone so he can humor his beloved with some wild stories - making him jump all over the bed and gesture wildly, but luckily only to the amusement of his s/o - and feeding him whenever Lucio feels like he could need a small lift-me-up. Eventually, MC will confess he feels bad for Lucio having to take a step back and stay with him, even though both of them know how much the Count loves partying and staying up all night long, but Lucio will just wave it off, saying it’s no fun if he doesn’t have his lover by his side anyway

Julian

He has seen Julian fussing, overthinking and overreacting before, but probably never as serious as when the Doctor calmly put his hand on his s/o’s shoulder, put on a perfectly reassuring smile and said, “Stay in bed.” There isn’t really anything other to do than to nod and lay down, hands folded awkwardly as Julian starts some simple tests. He will prepare some tools like a bowl nearby, tea for the throat and stomach to set down on the nightstand, and a lot of water, all eerily calm and whistling while he does it. Julian isn’t ever gone for very long, getting him some medicine ready that he serves to his beloved with some water and, if necessary, some warm beer for the fever if his s/o can stomach it. Whenever his s/o wants to say something about the fact Julian is late and wanted to go to work for almost half an hour already, Julian simply hushes him, asking him to let it be his worry if anything

Julian is never far from the bed, always checking in if the medicine is helping and handing over more if he deems it necessary. He takes his s/o’s health as a top priority until he notices that his lover is slowly going back to sleep - which he needs urgently. He won’t even notice sneaky Julian leaving the home for the duration of his dreams, coming back with some soup, and while having delivered medicine to the people who needed him that day, checking on his s/o first thing when he comes home. Julian will be very pleased if he notices the medicine helping and the fever going down, which was his biggest concern. Heating up some soup, he’ll eventually wake him up, chuckling about cute and confused questions his s/o may have about where he got the soup from and when he changed clothes, answering them with a smirk and holding out a spoon to eat. Julian will tell him what happened while his s/o was fast asleep, overdramatically tell him about how hard Mazelinka worked to make this perfect soup for Julian’s s/o so that he’ll recover quickly, before noting that he too hopes, his s/o gets back on tracks soon so Julian can show him the cute new neighbor’s dog and the cat that meowed at him while he was on his mission

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nad-zeta · 4 years

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Hi can I please have a ikevamp matchup? I'm goth/emo and pansexaul. I dislike rude people, too much social interactions, people harming animals and loud children. Often can be found listening to music, playing games or with animals ao reading. I'm mostly a loner, have major trust issues, can be cold and vindictive, sarcastic to the fullest, insecure when people point out the scar over my right eye and notice my selfharm scars, tend to observe more than speak. Number 1, will send in nr 2-anon🐺

Number 2, people say I'm polite and wise and tend to notice smaller details and conversations more than others and also say I'm kind as long as people don't get on my bad side upon first meeting. I can hold a grudge but can also easily forgive and have an unhealthy obbsesion with drinking black bitter coffee. Hobbies are drawing, reading, writing, listening to music, chatting with my bestie, playing with animals, gardening and daydreaming.-Anon🐺

Hi hi, love! 😊I hope you are doing well. 🙌Thank you so much for the request and sorry for taking sooooo long with this!😱🙈❤ I hope you have a super good day and enjoy this!❤❤

So I match you with.................. Arthur

The first time you meet Arthur, he was hella intrigued.

You couldn't sleep that first night you came to the mansion due to some crazy scary nightmares. You made your way down to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. As you entered into the dark kitchen you noticed a figure by the fridge, it was the mystery writer himself. At the sound your your footsteps entering into the kitchen he promptly shut the fridged and closed the distance between the two of you. He stared down at you with his ocean blue eyes gleaming in the darkness. That is when Sabastian joined the two of you in the kitchen carrying a clear crystal bottle with what appeared to be a thick red liquid inside. You eyed the bottle curiously, and that's when Arthur had revealed the Mansions secret to you as he downed it. You were honestly pretty shocked, but when Arthur got up close to you, you instantly believed him as staining the collar of his shirt was undeniably the crimson red colour of blood.

You rushed back to your room freaking out, coffee long forgotten and somehow throughout the evening, you managed to pass out. You woke up to Comte sitting beside your bed with some breakfast. He spent the morning telling you all about the residence and the exact situation that you had managed to find yourself in. As Comte continued to explain the situation to you, you drifted off into a world of your own, replaying the previous night's events. You thought about Arthur and decided to low key forgive him for scaring you that previous night, as he was simply being honest, even though he could have done it in a less dramatic way.

You spent the day in your room, reading and writing. You didn't exactly feel like interacting with the residents, not cause of them being vampire but simply because you just didn't like social interaction in general, plus it had been a while since you last had time to completely relax.

The next morning you woke up and made your way down to the kitchen. You started a fresh pot of bitter black coffee, just the way you like it and who should walk into the kitchen and steal the very cup of coffee you had been excited to drink…. Non-other than Arthur himself. "Hey, that's mine, if you want coffee, then I suggest you make your own," you scolded the author with a frown and grumbled sarcastic remarks at him under your breath as you move to make yourself a fresh cup. Arthurs's eyes gleamed in excitement you certainly were a feisty little creature. The two of you took your sarcastic banter to the dining room as breakfast was being served. You weren't really one for social interaction, but you did enjoy the back, and forth you had with Arthur. Usually, no one could keep up with your quickfire of witty remarks and sarcastic comeback, but here Arthur was, holding his own against you.

When the next morning rolled by the exact same thing happened, Arthur yet again stole your freshly brewed cup of coffee, you let the first time slide but this time you narrowed your eyes at him plotting your revenge. Little did this mystery writer know, you were a rather vindictive kind of person. The next morning just as you predicted, Arthur showed up to steal your morning cup of coffee, except this time it wasn't coffee that he found himself drinking but a concoction of warm sludgy, muddy water. He spat it out and started rinsing his mouth under the kitchen tap, "serves you right," you legit couldn't hold back your laughter and hosed yourself laughing, watching the expression of disgust form on Arthur's face, "oh revenge certainly is sweet." This, my dear, is how the revenge war started between you and Arthur. Since that day, he would pull small pranks on you to get revenge, and you would plot a prank twice as good to get him back. You honestly enjoyed this little game the two of you played and even though you never like social interaction if it was with Arthur, you honestly didn't mind.

Speaking of games, one day, you walked into the game room to find Arthur and Isaac battling it out over a game of chess. You stood in the doorway next to Theo to watch the intense match between the two. Theo had warned you never to play a game against Arthur unless you wanted to lose, as he had never lost a single game in his life. You low key scoffed and laughed as it seemed he was losing at your little game of revenge, as his pranks were becoming more and more predictable. Issac hung his head in defeat, having lost yet another match against Arthur and now earning himself the nickname A-chan. You patted Isaac on the back and challenged Arthur to a game, winner takes all loser takes non. He simply shook your hand and smilingly accepted the bet

You challenged him to a game of rummy, and for the first time in Arthur’s life, he was sweating. You were definitely a tough opponent, and your observational skills were like his, second to none. The game had ended in a draw, so the two of you played another round one which you had managed to win by the skin of your teeth. You stood up, smiling triumphantly, and that's when he challenged you to a rematch. The two of you spent the afternoon playing various board games and trash-talking each other. You honestly loved playing games and playing against someone who could provide you with a good challenge definitely made it more enjoyable. You and Arthur actually added this to your list of fun activities to occasionally do together. It was always something which both of you looked forward to as it was always filled with laughter and witty banter.

Arthur quickly realized that you were incredibly smart and had a keen sense for picking up on finer details. So he invited you to tag along and play detective with him, helping him to solve some cases around town. TBH he pretty much pestered you into helping him, until you finally cracked one day. However, after having so much fun using your combined skills to solve a case you and Arthur teamed up and became the towns mystery solvers. Two of you work many a case together. Arthur legit loves working on various cases with you as this means he can spend more time with you and get to know you even better.

You guys stumble on a case where the owner of a beautiful Germain Sheppard had kept the poor dog chained up in the backyard. As Arthur chatted with the owner, you went over to pat the dog, and that's when the blood drained from your face in horror. The poor dog was incredibly thin, and you could see scars all over his body from being abused. To top it all off there had even been fresh wound on his leg. You looked over to see that the poor had no access to fresh clean water, and looked incredibly thirsty. You opened your bag to retrieved your bottle of water, you poured some water in a small dish for the dog. The poor thing must have been incredibly thirsty as he drank up every last drop of water. Your heart broke in two, and you didn't want to leave the poor animal in this cruel man's care. Just then, the man came out with Arthur and was incredibly rude with you telling you to get away from his dog. That afternoon as you and Arthur walked back home, the poor dog had been on your mind. Arthur stop abruptly and stared down at you curiously, "you know luv, I would do anything you ask, all you have to do is say the word. I do hate to see you looking so down. So tell me what is it I can do to bring that beautiful smile back to your face." You had never seen Arthur look at you with so much love and worry before, he had always been a bit of a pain in the ass, but during the past few weeks, you couldn't help but fall in love with him. And at the moment with him staring at you so earnestly, you had realized you really had fallen for this man standing before you.

Once the two of you got back home, you made your way to Arthurs room where you poured your heart out and told him that you hated rude people and you couldn't stand it when animals were being abused. Arthur simply nodded and smiled, "well then, what do you say we go and rescue that sweet dog from the clutches of the evil villain." You nodded and rolled your eyes slightly, trust the writer to create a story out of every situation. The two of you now sat side by side at the dining room table, each with a cup of bitter coffee in hand, planning the poor dog's daring rescue.

That night the two of you had successfully managed to save the poor dog. It took no effort at all for you to convince Comte to let you keep the cutie. After speaking with Comte about keeping the pet as your own, you walked back to your room, smiling at the memories you had created that night. Not only had you managed to rescue an animal in need, but after your daring rescue, you and Arthur were so excited at a job well done that he kissed you. On the walk home, you and Arthur had confessed your feeling for one another, and thus a new chapter in your life had officially started.

Often you could be found in the garden playing with your new pet. The second Arthur would hear the excited barks of the two dogs, he would put his pen down and rush downstairs to join the fun. He couldn't help but smile like a fool at the scene before him before joining in. The two of you would spend most afternoons playing with the animals while laughing and just having the best time together.

You had actually been the one to introduce Arthur to gardening, as a therapeutic way for both of you to relax and unwind. Plus this pale British boy had never seen a drop of sunshine in his life, thanks to always being cramped up in his room writing, so it did him a world of good to get out of his room once a while to soak up that sweet vitamin D

Arthur, like you, has had to deal with a lot of pain from the past, so he never ever did mention anything about your scars to you. He knew that if you wanted to talk about them, you would. And you did, one day after he had told you all the traumas of his past and why it had taken him so long to confess his feelings for you, you told him about your past. That day the two of you completely let your guards down and let each other in. Arthur did everything in his power to be by your side whenever you were feeling insecure about your scars. You best be sure this boi will hold you tight and tell you how perfect and beautiful you are. If that doesn't work to quieten down your insecurities he will show you with action how much he loves and adores every inch of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found just chilling together in Arthur's room. He would be slouched over his desk, writing the newest chapter, and you would be cuddled up on his couch reading about the latest topic of interest. When Arthur discovers that you also dabble in writing, he was legit over the moon. He would always insist you read your latest piece of writing to him as he rests his head on your lap, while you lazily pull your finger through his ocean locks. The two of you cuties would also sit and talk and talk for hours in deep conversation about anything and everything.

If the two of you aren't engaged in some kind of battle of wits, you are nestled in Arthur's arms as the two of you just enjoy a peaceful moment together wrapped in each other's warmth, each in a daydream of their own. Don't be surprised if this playboy drops a few sneaky kisses on your face as you comfortably rest in his arms, daydreaming away.

Other potential matches................. Vlad

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have a super good day!❤❤😊🌻

#ikesen matchup #match ups #matches #matchups #ikevamp #ikevamp match up #ikevamp matchup #ikemen arthur conan doyle #ikemen arthur #ikevam arthur #ikevamp arthur #ikemen vampire arthur

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millennialincantations · 4 years

Text

Hexing the Moon is Not a Thing

I have been hesitant to weigh in on the on the controversy surrounding the rumors that witches are out there hexing the Fae and the moon, but as this story is making its way into national news media, I feel that silence is no longer appropriate. I am aware that people reading this are likely to disagree with me, or perhaps even become offended by my take on the situation, but I am willing to take that risk in an attempt to be a voice of reason.

The gist of this story is that allegedly groups of neophyte witches are organizing on the social media platform TikTok and attempting to cast harmful spells on the Fae and the moon, the actual moon orbiting the Earth, and allegedly the sun is next. I was very deliberate in calling this a rumor in my opening statement. After a lot of research, I have been unable to find a lot of evidence that this is really going on. I've managed to find two TikTok users claiming to be hexing the moon, both with only around 1000 followers, and both of them have posted videos that are very clearly jokes and/or trolling. And I'll be honest, they were kind of funny.

I'm open to any contradicting evidence anyone is willing to provide me, but at this point I believe that this alleged group of witches hexing the Fae and the moon is nothing more than a rumor, a prank, or an internet troll scheme that has been blown completely out of proportion. I have seen so many angry reactions to the idea that this may be happening and simply not enough proof to believe it is actually happening. Did the rumor originate from an actual event? Probably. Is there a kernel of truth here? Maybe. Is there a widespread conspiracy of witches hexing mythological creatures and celestial bodies? Doubt it.

The story seemed to explode when a Twitter user claimed that these hexes were occurring and their tweet went viral. I've read the entire tweet, and while it was heavily laden with definitions and dire consequences, what it lacked was a shred of evidence, a single source, or any clue as to where someone might look to see proof of these hexes and this community of young maleficars. However in spite of this, it created a wave of anger and panic that has spread across all social media platforms and inspired many witches to create some very emotional responses.

Here is why I have a problem with all of this. Reactionary emotional responses, especially ones of anger, based on baseless rumors, have a tendency to make us all look foolish. And I sincerely feel that the global witch community is being made to look foolish right now. I will now thoroughly explain why.

I am going to begin with the obvious ageist and anti-novice dialogue this has inspired. I have purposefully avoided using the term “baby witch” until now, because I find it pretty offensive. I probably don't need to tell you that every story about this starts with a headline similar to “baby witches hex the moon.” “Baby witches” are the ones to blame, and “baby witches” are being vilified right now. In general, putting the word “baby” in front of another title serves to be diminutive, to express that while you and this person may share an identity, you are clearly superior to them. Using titles this way is infantilizing and demeaning. It suggests that while this person may be an adult, they are helpless, irrational, naive, stupid, and so on. There is nothing wrong with being a younger witch or a person who is new to the spiritual path of witchcraft. There is absolutely something wrong with taking a rumor as an excuse to release prejudicial venom against young and/or inexperienced people all across the internet.

Few of us were lucky enough to be born into witchcraft families. Many of us found witchcraft as a spiritual solace after escaping religious systems that oppressed us. Engaging in any kind of dialogue that makes witchcraft seem hostile to the young or new people who need it is simply not good form, and in my opinion, unethical. And let me remind any witches reading this that you most likely did or thought some pretty stupid things when you were new to witchcraft. I know I did.

Calling the subjects of this rumor “TikTok witches” serves nearly the same purpose as calling them “baby witches.” It's well known that as a newer and more complicated platform, TikTok is most popular with younger and more tech savvy users. Referring to someone as a “TikTok witch” not only makes an assumption about their age and level of experience, but also serves to denigrate their practice into an aesthetic rather than an identity. I am very active in the Facebook witch community, but I would never describe myself as a “Facebook witch,” because the sum of my spiritual path is much more than what I post and comment. My life as a witch is so much more than anything I do on the internet, and the same is true for most people, period.

Now I'd like to move on the statements I keep seeing regarding the supposed victims of the alleged hex. The Fae are not a large part of my practice, so I will not speak on them as much. My sister used to claim as a teenager that faeries would hide her things and that's why she could never find them. I thought this was just a dumb excuse until one day she dropped her camera memory card on the floor right in front of me, and it just disappeared. We tore her room apart looking for that thing, and I found it days later hidden between the pages of my journal. Let's just say, I've been socially distancing from the Fae ever since.

Hexing the entire Fae is kind of a ridiculous notion because that word has so many different connotations and denotations to so many different people that depending on who you ask you couldn't even really nail down a concrete definition of who and what they are, and some witches don't believe they're real at all. And if I were a Fae, I imagine I'd like it that way. It's a more common belief among witches that casting a spell requires knowledge and focus, and that doesn't really compute with attempting to target an ambiguous crowd of whatever the hell they are who might be, well, somewhere. As Willow Rosenberg (Buffy) would have said, “It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.” Anyway, I think the Fae are probably fine.

Now let's talk about the moon. So the moon is real, definitely. I've seen it. And the moon is gonna be fine. I'm less concerned with explaining why the moon will be fine and more concerned with unpacking some of the things I've heard about the moon being in peril. In the case of both the Fae and the moon, I've seen many impassioned pleas for witches to join together and combat this hex by using the magick to bless the Fae and the moon instead. Now, like I've said, I'm not super worried about the Fae, but I'm really really really not worried about the moon. Witches often leave water and objects under moonlight to bless and purify them, but now we're expected to believe that a hex can travel 238,900 miles through that same moonlight and still have the juice to do some damage. Really, its gonna be fine.

What this amounts to is a cry for an online holy war, witches versus witches, duking it out on their altars and cell phones for the fate of the moon. And while that might make for a pretty bitchin D&D campaign, it is an absolutely ludicrous waste of energy given the real world problems we are facing right now. Witches please, if you are feeling compelled to do a spell to help the world right now, hex the secret police in Portland, hex the fascist elements in government, hex the damn coronavirus, bless the protesters, bless election security, BLESS RUTH BADER GINSBURG! But please reconsider spending your effort playing tug of war with a celestial body that is most definitely totally going to be fine.

The three most concerning claims I have seen about how this hex against the moon will affect us are as follows:

1.) “The moon rules emotions, so hexing the moon will have a negative effect on all our emotions.” Yeah, um, that's probably got more to do with the horror survival game that is 2020, which I think we can all agree has not been anyone's year. Placing the state of our emotions under the control of strangers on the internet is a classic case of blame avoidance, in which we feel justified in our reckless actions and emotional outbursts by claiming it is not our fault or out of our control. Contrarily, a common tenet of much of witchcraft is control of the self. Such behavior is very unbecoming of anyone bearing the mantle of the witch.

2.) “Hexing the moon has angered the moon goddess Artemis, and this has angered her brother Apollo—who rules over medicine—and now we will never recover from the coronavirus.” Wow, that's a lot to unpack. First of all, are Artemis and Apollo really that close? Because he totally tricked her into killing her BF Orion that one time. Second, not everyone believes in the same deities, and not everyone believes in gods at all. Telling someone we're all gonna die of COVID-19 because of a god they don't believe in does not make anyone look smart. Third, this argument places the outcome of the pandemic in the hands of religion instead of where it belongs, which is in the hands of science. Witches, please, you can believe in science and faith and magick all at the same time, and it's something we all really need to start doing. Fourth, and most definitely worst, blaming sickness and plague on the spells of witches is something witch hunters did back when it was commonplace to murder people for witchcraft, and now we are actually seeing this claim come from other witches! Gah! I can't even. Please stop.

3.) “This or that moon goddess is mad and is going to retaliate by taking magick away from all witches.” I really just want to drop that GIF of Krysten Ritter rolling her eyes right here. Let's revisit the part where not all witches believe in the same deities and some don't believe in them at all. Now let's remind ourselves that magick comes from within, and while we may draw strength from outside sources, we don't need anything other than ourselves to perform witchcraft. I could never possibly believe that an action taken by another person I've never met could make me less of a witch. That smacks of fundamental insecurity in one's beliefs.

At this point, this story has been picked up by several major media companies, including Buzzfeed, NPR, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, and several others. While I do think it's important for stories about real life witches to be covered in the media, I am not proud of this moment of exposure. Every story I read seems to go back to the original Twitter thread as their primary source, which as I've explained, is not sufficient evidence. This story has become more about the global visceral reactions witches are having online, and while those feelings and interactions are certainly real, it disturbs me that the witch community is making huge news by essentially throwing tantrums based on what is probably a lie.

Witches are not featured in major media very often, and when we are it is typically characterized by gross misinformation. I fear that we are currently fueling a fire that will only serve to make witches look ridiculous to a large number of people outside our community. And while I think we all have a healthy touch of “I don't care what you think about me,” it would be irresponsible to say that this will not have actual consequences for real people. As witchcraft is a practice and not necessarily a religion, it has little in the way anti-discrimination protections for anyone anywhere, and witches are still very much minorities. People who are brave enough to live openly as witches may face discrimination in employment, housing, service, and various other things if this story sways public opinion in a negative way, which would be a real shame considering the story is basically a sham.

This story has unique potential to damage the way witches are perceived in society because, while the story is fueled by backlash from witches are most certainly not hexing the moon, the witches doing the hexing are the headline. In this era, it is more common for people to assume a story from a headline rather than read an entire article, and so I fear the general impression people are getting is that witches are unfathomable children who really want the moon to fall out of the sky. And for those who actually read the articles, their first impression of witches very well may be the frustrated rantings of those of us who are not at our best right now.

In addition, this story subverts the historical meaning of the practice of hexing into a petty malicious act done out of boredom. The actual history of hexing stems from one common theme: the powerless trying to find a way to fight back against the powerful. This is why so many hexes have to do with women seeking revenge on abusive men. This is why witches have recently been discussed in the media for doing mass binding spells on President Trump and a mass hex on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh—which, controversial as they may be, these are stories I am actually proud of. So witches reading this, if you really wanna put a hex on something, let's target someone who really deserves it.

And if you think I'm referring to Betsy DeVos, well, I can't stop you from coming to that conclusion.

I do have one final remark, which is somewhat unrelated, but still important. If you are a witch who has found yourself deeply offended by the notion of hexing the moon (which you have every right to feel), I would invite you to please consider the feelings of indigenous people who have long been offended by the misappropriations of their culture, by their sacred acts being used and portrayed in ways they do not like or approve of. I think many of them have often felt the same way that you do now, except in their case, there's a lot more evidence the transgression actually occurred.

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thetriggeredhappy · 5 years

Note

85 for EngieSpy please, also I'm a sucker for same faction

as a brief insight into the way stuff is rn i wrote and am posting this before i head to work in the morning and thats probably a commentary on my writing effort idk. (warnings for sappiness)

85.) “Take my jacket. It’s cold outside.”

One of the things Engie simply needed to get used to with Spy was how particular he was about keeping clean.

He didn’t shower with everyone else, Engie was aware. He knew that because he knew the layout of the pipework on the base, and knew that there was another bathroom branching from Spy’s smoking room. He wasn’t sure how one would access it—maybe from the room directly via hidden entrances, maybe from somewhere else nearby. But Spy showered often, and he made trips often into town to get his clothes dry-cleaned and pressed. And when they were stationed away from civilization for a while, he knew Spy kept up the habit, washing and ironing his clothes himself.

That was one thing that did make Engie curious, though. The fact that Spy was so particular about staying pristine, and yet still he so often went to be with Engie in his workshop. Home to grease and oil and sawdust and rust and metal, always smelling faintly of spray paint.

He’d decided that there were a few options to explain what might be going on.

Firstly, that Spy was indeed a cleanly person, and just liked Engie enough to put up with his workspace, aware that he really did enjoy his work and therefore couldn’t be pulled away from it very easily.

Secondly, that perhaps Spy’s cleanliness was a charade, and he didn’t particularly care in any real way, and it was just something used to exude an air of superiority much in the same way his scalding speech and calculated body language did.

Thirdly, Spy’s cleanliness was something enforced in much the same way that a good portion of his secrecy was, that it was part of his job description in a similar way that Soldier’s involved him marching the halls and Sniper spending time in the watchtower and Scout running errands for everyone and Heavy being a peacemaker.

Well, that last one probably wasn’t in Heavy’s job description. He was just like that naturally. Regardless.

He tended to favor the first one, even if he was aware that believing it was the first one just made him a downright sap of a romantic. But in terms of being sappy and romantic, he’d never really beat the Frenchman, he knew. He settled for little gestures instead, leaving all the roses and candles and grand declarations to the other man to do.

Admittedly, as much as his grimy workshop was surely a hassle for Spy to deal with, there were things that Spy was about that he himself didn’t so much work well with. In the same way Spy balked at leaning on a sawdust-covered workbench, Engie fidgeted at headed out to nice dinners and the like for dates.

He’d grown up in a small town in the middle of nowhere—there was a price to privacy for a family of born-and-bred geniuses—and due to his grandfather’s and father’s paranoia and overall seclusion he never even really knew about having guests over. Dressing to the nines and headed to a restaurant so expensive they didn’t list prices, sampling wines and sitting with elbows always off the table and never pouring his own water and staring down at far too many forks before him, it was downright stressful. And worst of all that stress meant he often slipped, forgot the purpose of him being there, forgot to focus on his date.

So he made Spy do yet another compromise. At least half of their dates were decided by Engie rather than him. So he settled for small diners, family-owned types of places, full of the smell of the same coffee and the same pancakes and the same bacon and the same hash browns that had been served the past twenty years of the establishment being open. Places where instead of a suit plucked straight off a walkway in Europe, he wore a pair of pants stained with paint around the knees, and a long-out-of-style jacket that had been far too big for him when he’d nabbed it from some hapless frat boy in college and only now in his later years when he’d put on equal parts muscle and fat was starting to fit correctly.

Spy’s habits died hard. Engie was half sure he didn’t own a single shirt without buttons (besides his undershirt, but Engie was fairly sure walking out in that may as well have been the equivalent to walking outside in boxers), and his pants were spotless and pressed, and his shoes were shiny. But he did roll his sleeves up to his elbows, and didn’t tuck the shirt quite to neatly, and didn’t even bring a vest, which was a considerable leap down from the suits that he wore whose prices rivalled that of his old, beaten-down stick-shift truck.

Most often, Engie asked him out to breakfast. He didn’t necessarily have an opinion on most restaurants, but he knew when a diner had good breakfast food, and the one in town (at least, the one without wanted posters) most certainly did.

Sometimes he did ask Spy to dinner, though, on busier weekends, if only for the very different feeling of it.

Leaving one of the nice restaurants Spy was so kind as to take him to, Engie was still stiff, still just a bit embarrassed by the looks he’d garnered with his thick accent and his version of politeness, and wide awake as a result.

But walking out of one of those little diners, stomach full of food that was mostly grease, usually late at night (the places often being open until halfway between dusk and dawn), Engie was always relaxed, feeling well at ease, well calmed, satisfied.

He did watch as Spy surreptitiously tried to pull his sleeves down to cover more of his arms, a half-step behind as Engie went to the counter to pay. Night in the desert was a bitter kind of cold, the kind of cold that animals had to have evolved to tolerate, and suddenly Engie was a bit sympathetic towards the fact that the other man hadn’t brought his layers with him for once.

Waiting for his change, Engie finally just sighed, looking over Spy. Twig like him would practically freeze to death walking to the truck, let alone waiting for it to kick on what meager heat it could provide.

All at once he was shrugging off his jacket, pulling himself free of his sleeves, ignoring the goosebumps jumping up on his now-bare arms in protest. “Take my jacket. It’s cold outside,” Engie said simply.

Spy looked almost startled, holding up a hand and shaking his head on almost instinct. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly—“ he started to deny.

Engie rolled his eyes, draping the thing around Spy’s shoulders before he could further protest. He noted the slight bend Spy put to his back in order to allow such a thing. “Just take it,” he said, allowing himself a little smile.

He was somewhat surprised by the way Spy didn’t immediately start inspecting the coat over his shoulders, instead crossing his arms across himself to grip at it, pulling it on more securely, and looking over Engie’s face. He looked at his expression carefully, then glanced over his now-bare arms, then back to his face again.

Engie shrugged under the scrutiny, smile widening a touch. Spy fought back a smile of his own and pulled the jacket tighter over his shoulders. It didn’t fit in the slightest. It made Engie chuckle.

They left the tip and left the establishment, headed for Engie’s truck, parked on the far side of the parking lot out of a paranoia that never quite left when they got off the battlefield.

It was something Engie didn’t really think about until the moment it happened.

He stood to the left of Spy, his keys held loosely in his left hand, and all at once felt something bump the back of his hand near his wrist. He glanced down, and saw Spy’s hand there, and when he looked up, the other man was looking at him with a kind of interest. Spy’s hand bumped against his own again.

Engie grinned as he finally understood the hint, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation as he laced his fingers through Spy’s. And it was then, all at once, that he realized he didn’t really hold hands with Spy. Not while going places, and certainly not in a public area. He wondered why for a moment, if maybe it was paranoia, if maybe it was pride, but the thought fell away as Spy’s thumb brushed over top of his own idly and he realized Spy had taken off his glove.

“Thank you for the jacket,” Spy said quietly.

Engie squeezed his hand. “This isn’t my giving it to you forever,” he chided jokingly. “I’ll want it back eventually.”

Spy hummed. “Maybe someday,” he said airily, and damn him, it made the poor Engineer laugh.

Little gestures. Little ones. Maybe they were all the more important.

#engiespy #tf2 #team fortress 2 #shut up me #my fanfiction #my writing #i have like eleven more requests in my inbox rn so if youre waiting on one then sorry itll probably be a minute #im just doing them in the same order that i got them #i love me these sappy dads right here tho #napoleon complex

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