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#what’s ironic is that while i was laying there feeling all sad and pathetic i suddenly thought of the Reader x Moon oneshot i wrote
seventh-district · 1 year
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CW: mention of gun violence (in a nightmare. not IRL)
i know for a fact that my period makes me more apt to cry over things because i can have a vivid nightmare about getting randomly gunned down while waiting in line to pick up a pizza then wake up and not shed a tear but when i’m on my period i can have one (1) bad dream about my father yelling at me and i wake up and promptly begin full-on sobbing into my pillow
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ethanrs · 1 year
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Michael Demiurgos x Gn! reader
Soft yet slightly sad Michael hours omfg I love him sm, same as last time, its meant to be soft but might be a bit sad-ish but not really, reader is reffered to as y/n with they them pronouns, also posted on my wattpad under PoodlesinmyNoodles, and i hope you enjoy!
(y/n) was returning home from a long day of work, excited to finally get to properly relax with their boyfriend there beside them. (y/n) opened the door to their home, stepped inside, and while closing the door, found it oddly quiet. Michael was never really loud, unlike his brother, but it was never this quiet. (y/n) assumed that Michael might've been asleep, removed their shoes, and headed for their shared bedroom to check, when they opened the door they found Michael, wings out and curled into a ball on their bed, pitifully trying to hide from view. (y/n) could barely see his busted-up wing or the side of his face with the scar. (y/n) slowly started to walk toward Michael and softly talk to him, "Mikey, love, are you alright?" all that they got in response was a small whimper, (y/n) got closer to the bed, and sat down at the edge of the bed, "Michael, is everything okay?" (y/n) asked again, Michael revealed a little more of his face, "poor baby, you look so stressed," (y/n) said, slowly moving their hand and reaching out to touch Michael's face, when (y/n) made contact he flinched slightly, this made (y/n) worry more, "would you like to talk about it love?" (y/n) waited for a response, and what they got was Michael reaching for the hand on his face and softly grabbing it and gently pushing his face deeper into (y/n)'s hand. (y/n) averted their eyes from Michael's face and looked at the rest of him, he still looked very tense and distraught, (y/n) felt their heart clench at the pathetic state of their lover and asked, "is it alright if I help you relax?" Michael opened his eyes and looked at (y/n), his eyes made (y/n)'s heart shatter a little bit. Michael's eyes were watery with tears, Michael finally spoke, a soft and simple question, "how?" god, even his voice sounded pathetic and raw like he had been crying for hours. "Well it really depends on what you feel most comfortable with right now, would you like me to lay here and run my hands through your hair? Take a warm bath? Or maybe even let me stroke your wings? Or anything else you think of." (y/n) spoke softly, it was ironic how heavenly their voice sounded to Michael.(y/n) noticed how Michael's wings fluttered a little at the mention of being gently touched, "I think I would like you to touch my wings." Michael said, "alright, how about you lay on your stomach or whatever feels most comfortable for you?" (y/n) suggested, Michael moved from the position he was currently in and laid down on his stomach, wings folded against him, his right busted wing not so much as the left one. (y/n) moved closer to Michael and gently began to run their fingers over Michael's soft feathers.
As (y/n) ran their fingers over Michael's wings they would give praise for how soft and beautiful his wings were, making Michael feel like putty under his love's gentle touch. (y/n)'s actions continued for a while, Michael was so close to falling asleep, he felt better than he was earlier, now craving to hold his love before he fell asleep, Michael spoke up, "(y/n), can you go change into your pajamas?" (y/n) stopped their movements and said "alright, you're ready to go to sleep?" as (y/n) moved to get up Michael let out a hum of acknowledgment. While (y/n) was changing out of their daily clothes and into their favorite sleepwear, Michael retracted his wings and crawled under the cover, and waited for (y/n) to join him. As (y/n) crawled into bed and joined Michael, he immediately grabbed (y/n) and pulled them tightly to his chest, and nuzzled into him, (y/n) responded by curling into their lovers' arms and they soon fell into a peaceful sleep.
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morbidmeatbun · 2 years
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Escapism
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Fandom: Project Sekai - Colorful Stage!
Character(s): Mafuyu Asahina
Additional Tags: Slight angst, hurt and comfort, pls help this girl
Warnings: Mentions of depression
Language: English
Story - Oneshot
When Mafuyu thought everything was hopeless, a little spark reached out to her in the dark.
Who would've known her feelings would manifest into something more?
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Asahina Mafuyu is everyone's favorite.
People often picture her as the “good girl”. She is sweet, kind, and would help anybody in need without hesitation. Not to mention she's also the top in her school.
Her friends adore her.
Her teachers like her.
Her parents love her.
But ....
Why can't she be happy with all of that?
Mafuyu doesn't understand.
The girl's classmates will often say something like “Wouldn't it be great to be you, Asahina? It seems all perfect with you ...”, “I wish I could be like you” or “You're good with anything”.
Listening to those rambles only made Mafuyu smile a little (albeit bitterly, but she tries not to show it) and only respond with a gentle, “Ah, really? I take that as a compliment, thank you.”
But of course, that's one of Mafuyu's defense. She always does that since a long time ago. For as long as she remembered, this way of 'talking' is the best she can do.
Mafuyu can't say anything contradictory.
Or else everyone's gonna think oddly of herself.
Now, the good girl won't want that, right?
Despite that, Mafuyu can feel apart of her gone—little by little. Even so, she tries not to think too much; unfortunately it slowly eats her from the inside, and until now she realized almost all of her had 'died'.
“... I want to disappear,” she whispers. Laying down on the cold floor of her blank and plain room, without anything and nobody to comfort the poor girl.
What's wrong ... with me?
She watch her hands hazily, those soft palms of hers tremble in a way she thought almost pathetic. Mafuyu's mind swirls in an abstract way. Like in any second she could faint.
The 'good girl' feel somewhat ... sad.
No, it's not that kind of sad. Sad in a way that she can't express it.
Is it depression?
Everything seems pointless.
Just as she was slowly drifting to sleep, her phone lights up. Rays of white punctured through the darkness of her room.
Maybe it's one of her classmates asking about homework. Like always.
Mafuyu's cold hand steadily hovers to the phone and looks to her lockscreen.
Oh?
It's not what she expected, that said there wasn't even any messages from her classmates. Instead she is greeted with a single notification read:
Untitled has been downloaded.
“... Untitled? What's this?” Mafuyu rise to a sitting position, both hands supporting her phone. This 'Untitled' seems to catch her interest.
Scrolling through the files manager, Mafuyu found the file in question.
It's an MP3.
“Music?”
The dark purple haired girl didn't remember downloading such song. She doesn't even have a genre she likes, mostly her songs are recommended by her classmates. And none of their songs have ever give her some interest.
Out of curiousity, Mafuyu pressed play.
No melody. No lyrics.
“Huh ...?” Mafuyu furrowed. Is her phone's speaker broken?
Just as she gets up, the phone instantly shines, drowning her whole room white in seconds.
Mafuyu can only shut her eyes tight due to the amount of light, wondering what will happen next.
Then here she is. In a place of vast landscape, pure white with a hint of gray, though there isn't anything to see except long pillars of iron scattered around in nonsensical ways.
Mafuyu looks around, completely amused by this sight ... as if she's one with it—
“Hello.”
A rigid voice greets her from behind, Mafuyu turns around and is met with a barefeeted girl with twintails uneven. Her eye color also differs from each other. The clothes she's wearing seems to go in the style that people called gothic.
Mafuyu stared blankly at her for a while, then asks, “Who are you?”
The unknown girl holds a flat expression, just like her voice. “I'm Hatsune Miku. I was born through your SEKAI, Mafuyu.”
Hatsune Miku? SEKAI?
“Miku ...? Wait, how do you know my name? And what is this place?”
This was all too surreal. Mafuyu can't get her head around this. Just what did she fallen into? Maybe I'm dreaming.
The gray haired girl walks forward, inches closer to Mafuyu while maintaning the mysterious aura.
“This place that I called SEKAI is a manifestation of your true feelings. A world that is created by you. Even if you don't know what your true feelings are ... this world will help you find it,” Miku smiles a little, “and I've waited for you to come.”
My true feelings? Mafuyu scans her surroundings, her SEKAI is ... empty. No people besides them, no stuff to see other than the iron poles, no anything. An endless sight behold. How will she find it in this state?
Despite that, Mafuyu likes this place.
Empty as it is, the world is quiet and soothes her—much to her dismay. Mafuyu feel as if she can be herself here, no need to always wear that aching smile she used to others.
She's gone from that world, for now.
“Is this all real?” Mafuyu asked rhetorically. Miku nods slightly.
Just after that, Mafuyu drops to the floor. She didn't realize how exhausted her body and mind is from keeping up to everything. More so, Mafuyu doesn't care. All she care about is how will this world—SEKAI—help her—save her—through this newfound feelings that makes her dread every morning.
Mafuyu for once, have hope. It's not big or optimistic, but enough for her to hold on.
“Mafuyu? Are you feeling well?”
Miku questioned, but left unanswered.
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Moca's Corner:
First ever attempting a Proseka fanfic. Mafuyu being my first muse—the amount of times I see myself in her is ridiculous 💀
At first I was indifferent to her, but now? Look what I've became 🛐
Overall, I rather like how the story turned out. Good thing it didn't branch more than it supposed to.
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teasty · 3 years
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irresistible || h.hj (m)
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a/n: yess fuck boy hyunjin ftw ngl,,,,i’m so in love with that idea,, especially with his long hair (i actually got into skz cuz of hyunjin’s hair lol i love longish hair on men)
● pairing: hwang hyunjin x (fem) reader
● genre: angsty n smutty (mdi!) | crack lol | enemies to lovers!au | college!au | nonidol!au
● warnings: hyunjin and reader hate each other at first :( | fighting | profanity | name calling | suggestive dialogue | fuckboy!hyunjin | snarky/goodgirl!reader | unprotected sex | hair pulling | cunnilingus | degradation + hints of praise | hyunjin is just an insecure baby underneath a tough guy exterior ;-; | virgin!reader | hyunjin keeps switching between fuck boy and sad boy |
● requested? yes!
● words: 9k
● summary: You despise Hwang Hyunjin with a passion. And he just hates you right back. You’re a good, moral student while he fucks around with everybody. He likes to pull at heartstrings while you like to pull at his palm tree hairdo. There’s nothing that makes you like the other, but when you wind up at the old art room with him and things get heated up, you see a softer, truer and more broken side to him.
Is falling in love with someone you've hated for years in the span of one night even possible? Apparently so...
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i miss him so much don't @ me
“You’re too irresistible not to fuck until you're screaming my name and begging for more.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Hyunjin, or I’ll tear your stupid hair out of your head,” you threaten darkly. The ever so proud Hyunjin only scoffs, laughing mockingly at you as he shoves his hands into his pockets. He crouched down to be at eye level with you. Despite you being much smaller than him, you still stood your group, even tripped over on the floor, your once organized papers sprawled out on the floor.
“I’d like to see you try, princess,” Hyunjin’s brow raises, and your lips downturn into even more of a frown. You would never, ever dare to start a physical fight with Hyunjin, but boy you can talk. Sometimes, your mouth might even be a little bit too big for your own liking. The words just flow out so naturally, and you don’t even realize it to actually stop it from flowing off of your tongue.
It was your dumb mouth that started this whole mess, anyways. Back in the last few years of high school, your best friend (who, in the end, turned out to be the fakest bitch you’ve ever met) had gotten with a boy. A boy you had no clue even went to the school. And, that’s when you met Hwang Hyunjin at lunch that day. In all his short - haired glory. At first, he seemed pretty decent, but you knew something was off about him from the start. Sure, he had a bright smile that could make any girl with a brain filled with boys faint, but he just didn’t sit too right with you. The way he acted around your friend (at the time) and the way he’d talk to her and other girls.
At first, you didn’t think he was a fuckboy, but it was when he tried to get in your pants after you called him a fuckboy after school one day when it hit you. That was the first and only day you really punched him in the face. Giving him a black and blue bruise on his cheekbone from the impact when he tried to take your clothes off, not caring whether or not you said it was alright or not. Of course, he got mad at you, but didn’t lay a hand on you, like you thought he would. You remember bracing your body for some sort of punch, kick or push, but nothing came other than Hyunjin’s loud voice screaming curses at you and calling you all - too vulgar and hurtful names.
You would have apologized if you weren’t so upset with the fact that he tried to be your first fuck. Your virginity isn’t the most precious thing to you, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t allow yourself to lose it to Hwang Hyunjin. Especially not after that day he actually tried to fuck you behind the school. You went running to your friend afterwards. Who, to your surprise, got mad at you for trying to make her boyfriend cheat on her with you. You couldn’t believe her, and you dropped her right there.
It was actually Hyunjin who broke up with her, having her come running to you with tears in her eyes about how upset she is that Hyunjin broke up with her. Of course, you didn’t react and only ignored her for… the rest of her life so far. She eventually gave up on trying to be friends with you, and went her own direction. However, Hyunjin didn’t leave you alone.
You can swear that he’s vowed to make your life living hell after you rejected him with your fist. At first, it was just teasing. Calling you names. Making fun of stupid mistakes. Sometimes even flirting with you just to make you mad. And no matter how many times you seemed to reject, verbally or physically, he never gave. Maybe he doesn’t try to get in your pants anymore, but he won’t stop calling you stupid nicknames when he’s being a dick to you… like “princess, baby, babygirl, darling, honey, sweetheart.” Stupid, meaningless nicknames to call you just to pull at both your heartstrings and your thin line of patience.
You weren’t so friendly to call him bittersweet names like that. You decided to go with a more aggressive route of, “dickhead, motherfucker, bitch, asshole, asshat, shithead” and other conjugations of any curse word you could think of. Of course, none of it fazed him one bit. In fact, it all seemed to amuse him. Like your anger was his entertainment, and that idea pissed you off.
You’ve had friends tell you to “Just not give him the attention since that’s what he wants!” But, that was the most difficult thing to do when Hyunjin was always following behind you, yet always a step ahead. Everywhere you end up, he’s somehow ironically there, too. Everywhere you plan to go, he’s somehow, ironically, planning to go there, too. Sometimes you debate if he’s stalking, but you don’t have much social media (nor do you post anything if you did) and you made sure to always keep away from the name Hyunjin just in case it’s the Hyunjin.
But, now, you’re sitting on your ass like an idiot, papers flown around you as Hyunjin crouches down in front of you. Almost as if peering down at his prey. His judgemental eyes scan your trembling figure, shaking from the pent up anger, up and down as he smirks like the little devil he is.
You’d been running back to your classroom, having to collect papers for your professor from the teacher’s lounge. She specifically asked for them to be organized by date, and you spent a few well - focused and frustrating minutes organizing the papers. Of course, as you were running through the supposedly empty hall, looking down at your phone to check the time to make sure you’ll have enough time before the end of the class period, you slammed face first into Hyunjin’s chest. Knocking him off of his balance, but catching himself on the wall, and sending you flying back and the papers to fly out of your arms, all your hard work scattered around you as you glare up at him with a deadly look in your eyes.
“Oh…” Hyunjin smiles down at you, leaning against the wall. His brows creasing up in a fake worry, his bottom lip jutting out in a mocking pout, staining his handsome face with the pathetic expression, “Poor baby… Do you need help picking up your papers?” He asks in a high pitched voice, and you try to hold back the urge to kick him right in the balls.
“Don’t fuck with me, Hyunjin,” you growl out darkly, and Hyunjin’s eyes widen and his fake, bitter smile widens in a pathetic imitation of shock and hurt, “Or I’ll tear your stupid hair out of your head.” You shamelessly threaten, both of you knowing you’re probably not going to even try to rip Hyunjin’s gorgeous hair for his scalp.
Hyunjin gets up off of the wall and walks over to you, you sitting on your ass with a glare that could spew daggers, and he crouches in front of you. His elbows on his knees, and he peers down at you like a predator stalking over its prey, ready to pounce at any second. He scans you, his half lidded, judgemental eyes peering over your body, heavily hidden by your black leggings and dark blue hoodie that was two sizes too big.
“I’d like to see you try, princess,” Hyunjin cocks a brow at you, his eyes finally landing on your dark ones.
“Don’t call me that, dickhead,” you spit right back, but he only chuckles darkly, his head falling briefly before he lifts his head up again. Shaking it slightly as he critically smiles at you, his mocking laugh making you feel small and weak.
“That’s a no - can - do. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, alright? Princess?” Hyunjin’s face dips down, nearing yours. You do the first thing you think of, grabbing a handful of papers, wrinkling them and throwing them with full force at Hyunjin’s face. He flinches back and stands up, swatting away the papers quickly. “Fucking hell! You scared me for a second there.”
“Good, now piss off. I have places to be. And shouldn’t you be in class?” You grumble as you collect the papers, trying your best to get them as organized as possible in your arms, making sure to keep a tight grip on them in case Hyunjin tried to do anything.
“Aw, do you suddenly care for me?” He places a hand over his chest, sighing dramatically, “I’m touched.”
“In your dreams, dipshit. Leave me alone,” you snap out, already getting a headache from this as you walk around on your knees to try and collect the papers, cursing to yourself when you find a wrinkled one, trying to smooth it out. Hyunjin watches you with a stoic expression, leaning against the wall. You don’t even bother saying another thing to him before you gather up the last of the papers and dash away, trying to organize the papers best you could before you reach your class.
Thankfully, Hyunjin didn’t follow you like he usually did. You let out a breath of air you didn’t know you were holding as you neared the classroom, your hands moving quickly to organise the papers. You open the door, somewhat out of breath as you hand them to the professor. Letting her know that you dropped them on your way here and they got a bit disorganized, but you tried your best to organize them again. She dismissed you and thanked you, sending you back to your seat to pack up (since it’s the end of the class, which is why you were hurrying).
Thankfully, your last class period is a study hall, so you take this time to run down to the library to work on assignments that are due soon. You prefer the library since it’s a calm and quiet place, and you know the librarian quite well, since you’re usually there during study hall. If you’re not there, you’re somewhere with a friend, and that’s usually not in the comfort of the library since you get pretty loud and unfiltered when you’re with friends. So, in the end, you’ll get booted out by the librarian.
When you get there, there’s already quite a few students sitting around, listening to music and typing vigorously on their laptops. You bow briefly to the librarian, who gives you a warm smile before you take a seat at a table in the corner of the library, far from the others. You take out your laptop and phone, plugging your earbuds into the earphone jack in your phone to play music into your ears.
You spend a good fifteen minutes writing an essay for your English Literature class. Focused in on the task at hand while soft lofi flows into your ears, letting your mind relax, but focus on what you’re doing.
So, it’s totally normal that you let out a short scream when your earbuds are painfully ripped out of your ears, your hands flying up to cup your ears. People glare at you, but turn back when they see who’s looming over your desk. Your earbuds and phone in his hand, and you could faintly hear the sound of the lofi that once calmed your mind. He stood there with a proud smile, and he raised a finger to his lips.
“Shh… quiet in the library,” Hyunjin says just above a whisper, and your lip twitches from holding back from strangling him in front of everyone. Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? He’s always made a note to let you know how annoying you can be or how much he hates you, so why doesn’t he just leave you alone? He knows how much he upsets you, but it seems to make him happy. He already wears a stupid smile all the time. You’ve seen him upset before, plenty of times. But when he’s teasing you or doing things to make you miserable, he wears that same devilish smirk.
“I… Fuck you, Hwang Hyunjin. Give me my phone back.” You stand up, reaching for the phone, but his hand yanks back away from you. Giving you a sarcastic smile as he looks down at you.
“Beg for it,” Hyunjin giggles darkly. Looking at something on your phone and even pressing a few buttons. Your eyes widen.
“Fuck no, just give it back!” You whisper - yell, reaching for it again, leaning over the table to grab for it.
Hyunjin shakes his head, “I said to beg for it…~” he sings - songs in a hushed tone, and your hands tense, his neck lookingly plenty good to just strangle. You don’t say anything, and you fold your arms over your chest. Raising a brow at you. “You think that’s gonna change my mind, hon? I still want you to beg for it.”
“You’re so fucking stubborn, it’s annoying,” you grumble, and shut your laptop close and push it into your backpack. You start walking out, shoving past Hyunjin and fighting against frustrated tears. You don’t even bother to bow to the librarian as you walk out, on fist gripping the sleeve of your backpack and the other clenched tightly at your side.
You walk out of the library, into the court of the university. There’s not many people there, since it’s the last class period of the day and everyone was getting ready to go home for the weekend. You stood underneath a tree, and turned, cocking a brow at Hyunjin who followed behind you slowly. You frown at him, and his brow raises.
“So? You’re gonna get ‘em or no? You know I’m not giving them if you just frown at me, (Y/N),” Hyunjin smiles snarkily, and you visibly roll your eyes at him. You sigh softly.
“Hyunjin. Give them to me. I’m being serious, now, no fuckin’ around,” You hold your hand out, finally speaking in a normal, harsh tone now that you’re out of the library.
“Hm… Nah. You still have to beg for it like a bitch. Or else they’re mine,” Hyunjin gives you a pitifully fake smile, and your eyes close, trying to ease the rising rage inside you.
“Hyunjin. I’m not begging for it,” You take a step closer to him, but he doesn’t back down. Your headphones still clutch in his hand as he holds them away from you. When Hyunjin doesn’t respond, you finally act. Dropping your backpack and letting it slip off your shoulder and onto the grass, propping itself against the tree. Hyunjin’s smile finally drops when you grip his wrist, pulling it towards you harshly. But, on instinct, Hyunjin pulls himself away, pulling you towards him.
So, you push him down onto the grass, not caring for onlookers as you straddle Hyunjin’s waist before he could even try getting up. One of your hands reaches up to press against his chest, but Hyunjin doesn’t struggle. Not one bit. In fact, he doesn’t even smirk anymore. He’s just staring at you as you reach for his hand.
“(Y/N),” Hyunjin’s dark voice pipes up, and you shoot him a glare.
“Shut up,” you snap, and you pry open his fingers, which was much easier than you though. His hands are hot and sweaty, and you almost laugh at it. Is he nervous that you’re straddling him let alone touching him in the first place? You will admit, it’s an intimate position, but you only got on top of him like that to prevent him from moving so you could grab your earbuds and phone out of his hands and stuff them into your pocket.
You smirk down at him, your hair falling past your face. It feels good to be the one in control, and now that Hyunjin’s vulnerable, you utter out, “And you almost got me to beg. Boohoo. Better luck next time, dipshit.” You finally get off of him, and the moment you’re off of him, he gets up and dusts himself off.
“(Y/N),” He calls out your name as he watches you grab your backpack.
“Shut up and don’t talk to me,” You snap, and Hyunjin’s lip clamp shut. He looks conflicted, and you would feel bad if it weren’t Hyunjin. The same Hwang Hyunjin who’s decided to make your every day a living headache.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me like that again,” Hyunjin’s hand snatches your wrist, but you pull yourself away swiftly, “If you do that ever, and I mean ever again, I will not hesitate to stuff your face in the dirt.” Hyunjin gets dangerously close to you, and you back away. You’re brows creasing. Sure, Hyunjin is a huge dick to you, but he’s not this much of a dick. So, it took you by surprise, but you felt proud. It’s obvious that forcing Hyunjin into such a vulnerable position both mentally and physically set him off, and you were proud of yourself for that. He’s always been the one trapping you, making you feel small and tugging at your strings of patience, and sometimes your heartstrings, too.
“Oh, fuck off, Hyunjin.” You groan out, your hands falling to your side as you sling your backpack over your shoulder, “You do that shit to me all the time. What’s it if I do it to you?”
“Just don’t do it a - fuckin’ - gain, (Y/N). Don’t, unless you don’t wanna walk straight the next day.” Hyunjin threatens, and your brows furrow.
“And what the fuck does that mean?” You scoff as Hyunjin shakes his head, turning to walk away. “Hyunjin!” You yell after him, but he thrusts up his hand, his slim middle finger in your direction. You scoff, surprised by such behavior from a guy like him, who’s usually the one doing the teasing instead of the flipping off.
You try your best to ignore him and head back to the dorm to your shared one with your friend. You were able to settle down for a bit, especially since your roommate wasn’t there yet. You finished up your work. Working on assignments that you couldn’t get to finish because of a certain someone who decided to snag your phone.
Speaking of your phone, about two hours after you get back to the dorm, your friend comes walking in.
“Hey Yeona,” You pipe up, acknowledging her presence as she peels off her flats from her feet. Yeona waves briefly before plopping on her bed.
“Hey (Y/N). How was it going today?”
“Terrible.” You admit, Hyunjin being the only thing coursing through your head.
“Terrible? Lemme guess,” Yeona sits up, glaring at you, “it’s that one Hwang guy you keep ranting about?” You nod slowly, “Ah. Well, sorry about that. Actually, that reminds me. Someone was asking for you. A boy… A really, really cute boy.”
“Oh? Who?” Your brow raises.
Yeona shrugs, “No clue. Couldn’t catch his name; he seemed like he was in a rush. He wants you to meet him in the old art room. The one they use for storage, you know? He said to take your time, but he seemed desperate as hell.”
“The old art room? Don’t people go there to fuck because the camera’s are busted at the school’s too lazy to replace ‘em?” your brow raises, a bitter smile etching your lip.
“That’s the one. Hey, you might get some dick tonight. At least he’s cute,” she wiggles her brows, and you laugh. “Go one. Call me if anything happens.”
“Yes, ma’am,” You jokingly salute, and Yeona does it right back. You stuff your phone in your back pocket, and give her a playful smile before you leave.
The old art room is at the very core of the school, and you know exactly where it is. Everybody does. It’s not exactly something that just goes unnoticed by the students. Since it’s old, the camera’s are very much out of date and therefore can’t hook up to the ‘new and improved’ security system. Usually people snuck there to fuck during passing hall, since no teacher went in there. Only special people on special occasions use it for storage.
You were somewhat excited. You still have your v - card, whether you like it or not. You originally planned to save it for someone special. But, at this point, you’re too stressed to care about who’s taking your virginity and who’s not. At this point, you’d get on your knees for anyone willing.
Except for Hwang Hyunjin. Of fucking course. You know so many people who would literally beg to be fucked by none other than Hwang Hyunjin. You were not one of those people. You weren’t one of Hyunjin’s toys, even though he treated you like one. You would never let him get to your head, though. You know that you shouldn’t listen to Hyunjin even if your life depended on it. He might mean those things, those vulgar things he says to you, but you choose not to believe them.
You were trembling by the time we were standing in front of the old art room. The rusty door is slightly ajar, signifying that someone’s inside. Of course there is, but it’s still weird that they didn’t shut the door in case any teacher got concerned and checked in. Whoever’s inside must be stupid, but you’re not one to ghost someone like that, especially if Yeona said that they seemed desperate. Someone desperate for you? You had no clue who. No one ever stared at you in class. No one ever teased you. Tried to constantly get your attention.
Actually, that’s a lie. That’s a bitter lie.
Hwang Hyunjin fit into every aspect of someone who’d be desperate for your attention. That’s when it hit you that Hyunjin’s only trying to gain your attention in the worst way.
And, he did. Because he’s standing right in front of you.
You turned to leave, but Hyunjin’s hand slammed against the closed door, making you flinch at the close proximity between the two of you, and you turned to look at Hyunjin. He’s not smiling like he usually is when he first sees you. In fact, you can’t tell what expression laces his godly face.
“Hyunjin? Was it you that told my friend to bring me here?” You ask, not so much a harsh tone, but trying to make things clear despite the answer being (literally) right in front of your face. There’s no one else in the old art room but empty boxes, old art tables and storage boxes littered here and there. “This isn’t funny, Hyunjin. I’m leaving.” You turn back around to grip the doorknob, but Hyunjin’s warm, shaking hand grips your wrist firmly, yet oddly gently.
“Don’t,” he utters out. His voice was strangely small. Nimble, even. Weak. “Don’t go. I need to talk to you.”
“Since when do you wanna talk to me?” You snap, and Hyunjin dodges your intense glare. His confidence seeps to be depleting by the minute.
“I just need to. I need to get things figured out,” Hyunjin grumbles out, letting go of your wrist. He steps away from you and sits on one of the old art tables, manspreading, stretching the tight fabric of his jeans.
“Get what figured out? Tell me,” you demand, now stepping away from the door and sitting across from Hyunjin on another table. Before Hyunjin could speak, though, you raise a hand, a thought coming to mind, “Wait, no. Why did you not just come to my dorm like a normal person? Why the art room? Do you know how many people have fucked in here, Hyunjin?”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes, sighing softly, “Yes, I do. It’s just the only place we could truly be alone.”
“Wait… you’re not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, right?” You back up, reaching for your phone.
Hyunjin shakes his head, “No, I’m not. I’m not a stupid sixteen year old anymore, (Y/N). And neither are you.” You sigh, relaxing, “I’m just going to get straight to the point. I can’t take this anymore, (Y/N). I’m so lost without you.”
Your eyes snap up to meet his, looking for any sign of mischief or joke in his eyes. But, no. Instead, they’re genuine. Your brows furrow, confusion crashing over you.
“I don’t want to live with the thought that I make every day for you living hell,” Hyunjin looks away, ashamed.
“Then why do you taunt me in the first place?” You nearly yell, and Hyunjin’s eyes flicker closed. You get off of the table, standing in front of him, “Why do you work so hard to just get me pissed off for the rest of the day, huh? Why do you want my attention so bad? Why can’t you just leave me alone, then, if you don’t want to make my college life a living hell, huh?”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
So blunt. So stoic. So true.
You’re silenced by his words, shock overcoming you. Overwhelmingly dominating your anger as your eyes widen slowly. He doesn’t break eye contact, this time. He doesn’t bother looking away. He’s standing his ground. He’s telling the truth.
You shake your head, “No your not.”
“You don’t decide that,” Hyunjin says almost directly after your voice drifts off.
“You can’t be in love with me, Hyunjin. You can’t,” You shake your head, backing away.
“It’s not my fault!” Hyunjin finally raises his voice, getting off of the table and taking an intimidating step towards you. Making you falter and scramble back, your lower back hitting the old art table. “I can’t help it. I can’t help, (Y/N). I’ve tried everything. I’ve been with so many girls, even guys. Trying to get out of my mind but nothing, nothing works. It’s always been you. Ever since high school.”
“Even when you were dating her…?”
“Even when I was dating her. The only reason I dated your fucking friend was to try and get close to you,” Hyunjin admits, and your mouth falls open. You lost a friend just because he wanted to get close to you? Your anger was slowly gaining back it’s superiority over your shock, “I tried to talk to you, but every time I did it just came out as mean. You viewed me as a fuckboy, and I fulfilled that role. Only to try and get you out of my fucking head.” He spits out through gritted teeth. “I’ve tried to make myself hate you, despise you. And, don’t get me wrong, hon, a small part of me hates you’re short, annoying ass. But everything else is incomplete without you.”
“Why didn’t you just confront me? If you didn’t decide to date my friend then we wouldn’t be here right now!” You yell, pressing a finger to his chest.
“I was sixteen, (Y/N)! Sixteen. Everything that I did ended in my misfortune,” Hyunjin yells right back.
“And was that my fault? Huh?”
“Yes! It is! Yes, it fuckin’ is!”
“How in the fuck is it ever my fault with you?!” You shove him away.
“Because it was. All. For. You. Get that through your thick fucking skull!” Hyunjin yells so loudly, so aggressively that it brought you to tears. But, you didn’t show any sign of fear. You weren’t backing down from this.
After his yelling, things quieted. You’re too nervous to talk, afraid your voice would pathetically crack from the painful lump growing in your throat. Hyunjin stared at you, as if waiting for you to say something, anything. But, you couldn’t utter a word. Only a few pathetic tears slipping from your eyes. His brows crease up when he watches the quick, warm tears fall over your cheek and down your neck. His bottom lip becomes trapped between his teeth, and he looks down for a bit.
You’re tired of the silence. You simply can’t take it anymore. It’s driving you mad how tense and uncomfortable the silence between you and Hyunjin is.
“Hyunjin, I-“
You’re not able to finish before a pair of soft lips press themselves to yours. Your mind goes blank, and your body stiffens as you stare into Hyunjin’s closed eyes. Your hands gripping the table behind you for balance as Hyunjin’s trembling hands creep up to grip your face. He’s kissing you.
Hwang fucking Hyunjin is kissing you.
That’s a first.
You want to push him away, but no matter how much you tell yourself to, you only relax more and more. The feeling of his lips against yours was supposed to repulse you, give you the push you need to slam a fist into Hyunjin’s face. But, with how delicately he kisses you and how his gentle, trembling fingers caress your warm cheeks, you can’t bear even clenching your fist in the need to hurt him or to get him away from you.
You couldn’t bear to admit it, but you were slowly melting into the kiss. It was as though Hyunjin was casting some sort of spell on you. Your eyes relax. Going from a dim half - lidded until they flutter shut. Your hands let go of the table. You’re shaking, ever so slightly. Your hands guide themselves as they bring themselves up to press against Hyunjin’s collarbone. At first, you believe you’re trying to push him away. But, your own hands deceive you when they slowly trail up to run your hands through his long grown hair.
You finally let your lips move, and you finally kiss him back.
Hyunjin’s reaction to it is one to die for. His back stiffens when he feels your lips part and move with his. One of his hands moves to caress your jaw, his thumb running across the bone, his hands a bit more firm as the kiss gets passionate.
You want to hate yourself for kissing him back. For succumbing to him and letting yourself fall weak underneath him. But, you just couldn’t help yourself. Hyunjin’s lips pulled you in and didn’t seem to plan on letting you go anytime soon.
It seems like a flash when your tongue presses flush against Hyunjin’s. The feelings send your back stiff and you tightly grip his hair, as if you were going to break apart from the feeling. Hyunjin’s experienced lips guided your inexperienced ones, despite him obviously being nervous.
You try to breath through your nose like Hyunjin does when things start getting more and more intense, and Hyunjin’s hands slowly start to creep away from your face. Tongues clash, and instead of fighting for dominance over one another, you both move in sync. Your torso pressed against his as Hyunjin traps you in between him and the table.
One of Hyunjin’s hands falls down your arm, gently caressing your side before picking up your thigh to push you to sit on the table. He pushes you back.
“Hyunjin - ah… We can’t…” You mumble out breathily as he kisses the sides of your lips. His lips instantly connect back with yours.
“And here… I thought… you were standing so strong and proud,” Hyunjin chuckles darkly, whispering out the words in between wet kisses. His usual self coming back, and your brows furrow. “But… no. You’re letting me… do this… without fight.”
Your head cranes back as Hyunjin’s lips drag down to your neck. Licking wet strips up and down your neck, suckling on the sensitive skin and pressing wet, sloppy kisses to your skin. You bite back a moan.
“You said you wouldn’t do anything…” You whimper out, and Hyunjin chuckles against your neck.
“Maybe, but you’ve passed the point of no return when you kissed back. And here I thought you’d punch me in the face,” Hyunjin laughs against your skin, moving you so your legs are spread for him to press more and more against you.
“Maybe I should’ve,” you whisper out in one breath.
“Mmh, but you know you like it, baby,” Hyunjin smirks.
“What happened to you wanting to talk?” You breath out, your breath moans getting louder, and you bite your lip to hold your voice back.
“You ruined it,” Hyunjin grumbles, nibbling on your skin briefly.
“Fuck you…” you grumble, your arms wrapping around his neck unconsciously.
“Already, hmm? Impatient, are we?”
“Fuck off…!” You groan at his dumb joke, and Hyunjin laughs against you. “But… seriously, Hyunjin… Wait… I’m still a virgin.”
Hyunjin’s head snaps up, his brows furrowed. “You’re a what, again?”
“A virgin, dumbass.”
“Are you saying you want to have sex-..”
“Hyunjin! Don’t take this so lightly. I’ve never done it with anyone before, and I definitely wasn’t planning on someone like you being my first,” you admit, and Hyunjin cocks a brow at you.
“You’ll regret those words. I’ll make sure this is a night for you to remember,” Hyunjin snaps, his words dark, and you swallow. “But, I need you to let me know that you want me, too.”
“Goddamn it, Hyunjin,” you groan, and your hand grips a lock of his hair, pulling his back so he can look clearly at you, “I want you to fuck me, Hyun - ah…”
A smirk creeps up on his lips, and you watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows his spit, and you let go of his hair, and his head dives back into your neck. Not exactly going back to kissing you, but resting his lips there. He mumbles out, “I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your pretty mouth.” And neither did you. You tried to deny it, telling yourself that it’s a spur of the moment idea. But, right now, again, you can’t push Hyunjin away. Your body won't let you.
Fuck it, your mind screams, and you let your legs wrap around Hyunjin’s waist. His hands find themselves caressing your thighs, your waist and back as his lips start moving again over your neck. The sensation sending constant chills up and down your spine, causing your back to stiffen and arch at the new feeling erupting in your core. You’ve masturbated before, that’s not the issue. But, being in the control of somebody gave you a whole new stimulation with even having to be touched too much. A new spark of intensity.
Hyunjin’s hands are rough, yet cautious. Trying not to go too far, but obviously trying not to pull away himself.
He eventually pushed your shoulders lightly, but with enough force to push your back flat against the old art table. He’s still standing, but he’s leaning over you, his hands on either side of your head and his pelvis nearly pressed against yours, standing in between your legs.
His warm hands move slowly underneath your shirt. Your back lifts at the feeling of his hands meeting your untouched skin, and you let out a hoarse breath as Hyunjin sucks on the skin below your jaw. Your head tilting to the side to give him the access he needed. Your neck craning, and your eyes flutter shut from the bliss. Your lips parting in a silent moan. Too embarrassed to actually make too much noise. Hyunjin’s hands move up the sides of your bare waist, carrying your shirt and hoodie with it. He parts from your neck to look up at you, his hands coming to a sudden halt.
You only glare over to him before you take your shirt and hoodie yourself, peeling it quickly off and over your head and tossing them to the side, trying to make it onto another table, but it landed on the floor. You could care less. Hyunjin’s eyes immediately dart down to stare at your semi - exposed torso. You bite your bottom as Hyunjin’s hand eases up, poking at the wire of your cherry pink bra. “Pink? Cute.”
“Shut up,” you mumble out, and Hyunjin’s eyes flicker up to meet yours.
“Hmm, that’s not gonna happen and you know that.” Hyunjin winks at you, and you roll your eyes before your head falls back again. Hyunjin’s wet lips come back to your neck, but this time, he starts pressing slow, wet kisses down your neck. Over your collarbone and chest before over the bump of your breasts. You watch him with nervous eyes as Hyunjin presses wet kisses over the skin of your breasts. The feeling of the sensitive, untouched skin being no longer untouched is euphoric. However, he doesn’t take off your bra, most likely since you’re in the old art room and being completely nude would be a bit too overbearing and overwhelming for both of your likings.
You thought Hyunjin was going to stop there, but no. He kept on kissing down, now going over your stomach. Your heartbeat got louder and louder as he kept going down. His warm mouth pressing warm kisses to you before moving down, the area before being shadowed by the cold air.
Your breath got caught in your throat when Hyunjin’s fingers loop around the loose hem of your jeans. His eyes darting up to look at you briefly. But, this time, he doesn’t wait for you to take them off. One finger undoes the first button before he swiftly moves out of the way to pull them down. Your legs try to clamp shut, but Hyunjin’s knee jerks up, stopping them from closing. Your panties don’t match your bra, since they’re black and not as fancy. However, Hyunjin doesn’t seem to care at all.
Your pink face watches as Hyunjin tosses your jeans to the side, with the rest of your clothes.
“Hyunjin - ah…” You utter out, and Hyunjin’s eyes flicker up to meet yours, one brow raising in question.
“I’m going to eat you out,” Hyunjin gives you a sarcastic smile, and you don’t have the willpower to roll your eyes. Your pussy is already sopping wet, and you hold back the urge to throw yourself on top of him. You’re not surprised by how blunt he is, but it’s still nerve wracking for you. “Don’t be scared. You’ll be perfectly fine.” He reassures, and you know you’re fine. That you’re safe, but, as said before, you were so nervous.
You watch as Hyunjin dips between your legs, getting on his knees on the floor, perfectly level with you. He looks from your wet panties to you for a moment before he presses a firm kiss to your clothed cunt. Your hips jut up from the sensitivity of it, your legs trying to clamp shut, but Hyunjin’s hand is quicker. His hand flush against your thigh. He smirks against you, pressing another feather light kiss to your clothes pussy once more before he licks up it, firmly pressing his tongue against you, sending your hand to your mouth to hide your choked moans.
However, Hyunjin’s hand flies up to pull your arm down, grumbling out, “Don’t be fucking quiet this time, (Y/N).”
“We’re in a fucking classroom, Hyunjin, I have to be!” You let out a throaty groan as Hyunjin licks another long, slow strip over your panties.
“All the teachers are gone. God, relax,” Hyunjin laughs bitterly, and you shoot him a confused look.
“You planned this didn’t you?” You snarl, propping yourself, and Hyunjin cocks a brow, his long fingers hooking around the hem of your pantines. You tried to close your legs, but they’re blocked by Hyunjin’s hands. Hyunjin only shoots you glare before pulling down your panties, and you gasp when your sopping pussy meets the cold air of the old art room.
“Ha,” Hyunjin scoffs, one of his fingers moving up to grace itself over the smooth, all too stimulative and sensitive skin around you, making your hips jutter, “No matter how mad you try to make yourself, you’re still dripping wet like a bitch in heat. Didn’t know I turned you on so much, sweetheart.”
“I’ll kill you,” you snap, but your hand goes to grip the edge of the table.
“You’ll love me after this,” Hyunjin winks at you again.
“I doubt it,” you backfire, and Hyunjin’s brow raises. A challenging smile on his face as his lips near your throbbing womanhood. So close, you could feel his breath fanning you. Hyunjin holds eye contact with you as his lips make contact with your warm, wet cunt. Your head falls back when you feel Hyunjin’s tongue against your clit. You let out a breathy moan and your hand flies down to tug at Hyunjin’s hair.
Hyunjin doesn’t go slow. He’s already teasing your hole with his middle finger as he licks and suckes around your pussy. His lips and tongue working wonders no toy you’ve ever owned ever could. The explicit sounds he makes turn you on even more, his eyes fluttering shut to focus on his mouth’s movement more than your face, which is tilted back. Your back arches from the pleasure, and you let out delicate moans as Hyunjin’s lips satisfy your throbbing pussy, giving it the attention it’s been craving.
Hyunjin slowly eases one finger into you, and your hips buck onto it. Hyunjin chuckles against you at your movement and raises a hand to press against your gut, pushing you down and holding you there as he lapped up your flowing juices while his finger inserts inside you. His knuckles soon flush against you, slowly twisting his hand inside you as you push yourself against him. Chills running through your body as Hyunjin’s tongue presses against your sensitive clit.
“Oh, god, Hyunjin…!” You moan out when he presses another finger into you. Your eyes squeezing shut as your trembling hands grip Hyunjin’s hair, your legs resting over his shoulders as he begins to thrust his fingers into you at a decently fast pace. His long fingers penetrate your tight, virgin hole. Pumping them in and out quickly, and you clench around him.
Your hands that grip Hyunjin’s hair pulls him further towards you, trying to get more and more of his tongue on you. Your hips grinding down on his fingers as your mind fogs from the pleasure. Now, you don’t care that it’s Hwang Hyunjin, you’re just loving the pleasure he’s providing you. You neck cranes, almost as if trying to pull away from how sensitive you were and how Hyunjin was abusing that.
However, when he enters a third finger, stretching you out, you feel your orgasm nearing. You clench around his fingers, your moans getting louder. Now, the thought of a teacher overhearing your explicit moans clearing from your head, your mind relaxing on the thought. All you can think of is how high you’re getting from the pleasure.
“Hyunjin… Hyunjin, I’m gonna cum soon… Hyunjin - ah, mmh,” one hand reaching up, the back of your hand pressing against your lips. Hyunjin doesn’t slow down. His hands move faster, and his mouth sucks at your clit. Your back begins to arch, your climax dangerously close.
But, it doesn’t come.
Hyunjin’s hands pull out of your pussy and he stands up when your back twitches, about to throw itself up when your climax hits. You look at Hyunjin with wide, glossy eyes. Sweat dripping down your forehead. Your legs twitch from the lost orgasm.
“What the fuck, Hyunjin?” You snap, and Hyunjin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, giving you a raised brow and a smirk.
“You don’t get to cum, yet,” Hyunjin climbs over you again, trapping you down underneath his arms as he pushes himself in between your legs, and you could feel how hard he was just by a small brush of his bulge against your thigh. “Now, be good for me and take my cock like a good slut.” Your back stiffens from the vulgar slur, but it only makes your oversensitive pussy even wetter.
Hyunjin is quick when he lets his pants drop down with his boxers, and his dick springs free. His achingly red cock pressing against his stomach. As you look from his cock to his eyes, you feel waves of fear spring over you. However, Hyunjin’s soft touch on your face calms your nerves. His other hand pumps his member a few times before the tip it teases against your folds.
“Fuck, you’re so goddamn wet,” Hyunjin groans, and you don’t answer, watching as Hyunjin slowly pushes himself into you, raw. Your head falls from the feeling, and Hyunjin’s mouth falls open, letting out a breathy groan as he eased himself into you. Your throbbing womanhood getting used to such a feeling. Once his pelvis bone is pressed against your ass, he stays there like that for a moment, and you get used to his size.
After a few moments of the sounds of both of your loud breaths, Hyunjin’s face nears yours, and your eyes flicker open to stare into his dark eyes. “I’m gonna start movin’, (Y/N),” he warns, and you nod.
“Please…” You grumble, and Hyunjin’s lip rises in a smirk.
“Please?”
“Move… Fuck me hard, Hyunjinnie. I can’t take it anymore. It’s about time you stopped fucking teasing me, huh?” You growl out, irritated.
Hyunjin’s smirk drops to a frown, and his hand grips your cheeks harshly, “Watch your tone with me, (Y/N). You can be so fucking proud, and that’s one of the reasons I wanna hate you. But, you’re too irresistable not to fuck until you’re screaming my name and begging for more.” And, after that, he ever so slowly pulls out of you before ramming himself back into you. So harshly and aggressively, it moves the whole table enough to where it creaks on it’s old legs. You let out a loud, inevitable moan that forces its way out of your lips.
Hyunjin does that a few times, and he throws his head back because of the pleasure. His face drowned in lust, and you clung to the table. A new burning sensation in your core as Hyunjin’s dick rams into your pure walls, deriving them from their innocence. You’re heat clenches around him as he pulls himself in and out of you. Slowly driving himself out before ramming into you.
But, he doesn’t do that for long when he starts to find a fast rhythm. One hand gripping your thigh while the other holds himself up on the table. He’ll sometimes let out breathy grunts or groans, but you’re on the verge of screaming out from how fast he was going. His cock burning your walls, sending a new sensation through you. It’s painful, but you’re loving it so much. You’re loving the burn, the penetration, everything.
Your eyes are closed, pure ecstasy running through you as your hands move up to wrap your arms around Hyunjin’s neck, pulling him close to you and into a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back. Both of your mouths open to crash your tongues together in bliss as your legs wrap around Hyunjin loosely. His hips stay consistent, but your hips twitch and stutter. Your back stiffening and twitching, pressing tight against Hyunjin’s clothed torso as he kisses you. One of his hands guiding up to harshly caress your cheek, jaw and neck. His long fingers tugging lightly at your hair as your hands screwed with Hyunjin’s hair. Running through it, gripping it, even tugging it sometimes.
“Oh my fucking god, (Y/N),” He moans against your lips, moving away to rest his lips against your neck as he groans, his hips stuttering slightly, throwing him off his rhythm, “You’re pussy’s so fuckin’ good. Feels so fuckin’ good.” You moan out in response, too lost in desire, lust and euphoric, blissful pleasure to form something as simple as a response. Your mind so blank, nothing running through your mind other than how Hyunjin’s cock makes your pussy feel so fucking good. How he makes you feel so fucking good. The way it’s overstimulated and edged on, it’s almost overwhelming to the point you want to cry from the stimulation.
You begin to moan, nearly screaming out Hyunjin’s name as you feel your climax nearing, clenching helplessly around his cock. “Hyunjin… Hyunjin! Oh, fuck, Hyunjin - ah, I’m gonna cum! Please, oh god, please, I wanna cum so… ah! - so fuckin’ bad…” Your words are slurred, but enough for Hyunjin to make out.
“Mmh… Cum for me, baby. Cum on my cock, baby girl,” your back arches, flush against Hyunjin’s body as your gut erupts with a new feeling. Your neck cranes as your eyes open, rolling into the back of your head as your mouth opens in a silent scream. Cumming all over Hyunjin’s cock as he stops his thrusts, deep inside you to let you cum. Your mind hazing as you let out a string of high - pitched moans. Your body twitches and your knuckles turn white from gripping Hyunjin’s tee shirt.
Once you’re halfway through your climax, nearing the part where your whole body relaxes, Hyunjin quickly pulls out. Getting up from you, and your arms drop to your side as you breath heavily, coming down from your high. Hyunjin pumps his cock fast in his hands. Not slowing down whatsoever as his eyes squeeze shut. You watch his face as his mouth opens, moaning loudly as he cums over your stomach.
Once he is down from his climax, he breathes heavily. Sweat dripping down the side of his forehead. Your head falls back, your eyes closing as exhaustion then waves over your body. Catching your breath.
You didn’t even notice Hyunjin leaving shortly to grab an old cup from the counter and fill it with water before coming back. Dipping his fingers in the water to wipe his cum off of you. You jump at the sensation, but relax when you see Hyunjin’s distant, wistful smile. You watch as he wipes it off, making sure it’s clean before dumping the cup in the sink. Your heart quickens as Hyunjin puts on his clothes before he walks over to grab your clothes and silently help you put them on. He doesn’t really make eye contact with you, but it’s a comfortable silence. The first ever comfortable silence you’ve had with him.
It’s then, as he helped wipe you clean, dress you and make sure you were already by wiping the sweat off of your face with the back of his hand that Hyunjin wasn’t who you thought he was. Everything’s not as it seems. The way he smiles so adoringly at you as he brushes the back of his hand against your cheekbone ever so lovingly makes you feel conflicted with feelings.
At some point, Hyunjin lays down next to you on the art table. It’s quiet for a few minutes, both of your just staring at the ceiling, shoulders and legs touching.
“I’m in love with you, (Y/N).” He whispers, and you finally look over to him. He wears a delicate smile, and a tear trickles down the side of his face, “I really shouldn’t. I really don’t know why, but I do.” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence, and you swear your heart shattered right there. “I… I shouldn’t have had sex with you. It’s only making everything worse for me. It’s making everything hurt so much more.”
He sits up, wiping his face, turning his back from you. He sniffs softly, letting out sharp breaths as his back trembled from his hoarse breathing.
You sit up, too. Reaching over to put your hand on his shoulder, but you hesitate.
No. If Hyunjin isn’t really who you thought he was, you want, you need to get to know the real him.
So, you make up your mind.
You get off of the table to move in front of him, and he tries to move away, his hands covering his red face. You gently grip his hands, pulling them away from his face. And it’s a sight you thought you’d never have to see. His eyes are red, his face wet and pink from the tears staining his face. It’s such a pitiful look on him, and you thought you’d never, ever see him so vulnerable. He keeps him looking down, trying to pull his hands away, but you have a tight grip on them.
“Look at me, Hyunjin.” You demand in a soft, yet firm voice. Hyunjin doesn’t for a moment, and you were about to repeat yourself, but Hyunjin’s eyes lock with yours. You give him a soft sigh and smile, “Hyunjin. You’ve proved to me that you’re not the person I thought you were. And… if you’re really not the douchebag, fuckboy and absolute asshate that I know, then… then I’ll stay by your side. Alright?”
Your heart hammers against your chest as Hyunjin’s eyes widen slightly, another tear slowly dripping down his face. You let go of one of his hands to gently rub it away with your thumb. Just below his eye. Hyunjin stares at you with wide, doubtful eyes. His lips slightly ajar as his hand trembles in yours.
So, to ease the silence, you press a gentle kiss to his lips. With no tongue, it’s an innocent kiss. He doesn’t kiss back at first, but he does after a moment.
And, the rest of that night was spent in that old art room. Either talking to each other, kissing each other or holding each other that night. You learned a lot about Hyunjin. About why he likes to fuck around, why he thinks he’s in love with you and other things about his life. You also told him a lot about you, about why you didn’t feel right about him at first.
And, by the end of that night, you could easily conclude that you’re in love with Hwang Hyunjin, and that it’s possible to fall in love with someone in the span of one night after years and years of hating each other.
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elysianslove · 3 years
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it’s ironic, he thinks, just how true the saying is. you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. it makes him want to laugh, despite how sick to his stomach he feels just thinking about it. it keeps him up at night, an unamused, sickly smile tugging at his lips as he hogs the blankets all to himself, the mocking ghost of a tug at the corner of the heavy duvet.
he pleads to the stark sky, bother me, and whimpers to the unforgiving stars, be the pain ringing in the back of my mind, because at least then, you were there. constant, steady, grounding. you were there, and now, you aren’t.
he hears of you through your shared, mutual friends. he learns of your dramatic changes in your physical appearances and wonders if he’d done you a favor, because he sees a glimpse of you on a phone from the corner of his eye and can’t help but think of how good you look. he learns of everything you’ve achieved, everything you’ve become, and wonders when he’ll be receiving a thank you.
and then he immediately thinks of how much of a piece of shit he is.
it’s two months after the last reminder of you is gone that his mind travels back to the first two months with you, where you’d sat on the roof of his home and confessed to him, “my biggest fear is having everything i’m being loved for be everything i’m hated for,” only for him to later prove you right. it’s a build up, he supposes. had been. like the tension of a ticking time bomb. it builds and builds and builds, and the pressure rises, and rises, and rises, until whatever strand or thread holding everything together snaps, and everything falls apart, ugly and wretched. everything it shouldn’t be.
your morning kisses are unwelcome now, they’re too clingy and irritating.
your blanket hogging is a nuisance, and the reason for the bags under his eyes.
your stubbornness is provoking, threatening.
i don’t like the way you‘re dressed— people will look.
don’t wear my clothes. you have your own.
we don’t need to plan everything. live a little!
come on, it’s just one party. we deserve to have fun.
suna remembers being greeted in the morning by you, every day. he remembers loving the way your lips tickled his skin, the way the sun kissed yours through the small cracks in the blinds, and the way your eyes sparkled alive the moment they met his. he remembers the little arguments you’d have nightly about your harsh tug of the blanket, his halfhearted grumbling as he searches deep in the closet for an extra one, as you end up laying half on top of him by the end of the night anyways. he remembers how attracted he was to your strong personality, your ability to hold your own, against others, against him, even against yourself. he remembers loving your style, loving the way you dressed yourself, the way you accessorized, the way you made the simplest clothes look glamorous. he remembers coming home to see you drowning in another one of his shirts and a pair of ugly patterned boxers, laughing so hard his stomach ached as your skin warmed and as you pinched at his arm in feigned frustration. he remembers his infatuation with your concentrated eyes flickering through travel plans, through different websites and endless hotel reviews. he remembers the nights in, the nights where the world outside didn’t matter.
only the two of you did.
he’s not sure if he saw it coming, if he could have ever. he should have, of course, what with your distance from him. although it hadn’t been physical distance, it was much more painful: seeing you just on the other side of the bed, but somehow being so out of reach.
he’s whisked back to reality, back to the present, as train tracks rumble and crack loudly, as the train rushes past him, forcing wind to breeze through his hair and settle a shiver at the base of his spin. yet, he doesn’t flinch. only buries his hands deeper in his pockets and waits for the doors to snap and hiss open. when they do, he’s pushing himself inside without a second thought, eyes unfocused on the ground beneath him.
and he nearly misses it.
nearly misses you. slipping past him like he’s yet another stranger among a million others in the crowd, hopping off the train and onto the platform. his mouth parts, but his choked up words serve a pathetic attempt at calling out to you, and the doors hiss close before he’s given a second chance.
ironic, he thinks again.
he makes out a blurred shape of you as the train begins to move, before you’re gone, dissolving into yet another wisp of the breeze.
ironic, he repeats, because he’d always assumed that falling out of love is natural. falling out of love happens. it hurts, but it happens. it pains, but it happens, and healing is inevitable, promised. but as the dull ache in his chest deepens, as it spreads across his limbs, numbing the tips of his fingers, closing up his throat, twisting at his gut, clouding over his mind, his heart halts with a deafening realization.
he’d never fallen out of love with you. he had only craved a reminder for why he had ever, and when you’d given it to him, provided it on a silver platter for him, every morning with your ticklish kisses, and every night with your blanket hogging, he’d taken it, and burned it to ash.
and now he watches as you emerge reborn, while he withers away.
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it’s that kinda night, yes it is 😁👍🏼 do i know why i chose suna? not really, but it is what it is. this is kinda one of my biggest fears and it’s why commitment is so scary to me but let’s not get into that. i hope you guys enjoyed, even if that was a little sad :(
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indianamoonshine · 3 years
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Strawberry | Chapter 13 | Common Tongue
Summary: This chapter is titled after a Hozier song. Take that as you will.
Rating: M. If I see anyone minor interacting with this or hear of anyone reading it, I will block your ass.
TAG LIST: @t3a-bag @lumimon47 @dodgerandevans @hallway5 @dancingwiththeplanets @steeevienicks @orneryscandallousandevil @ficthots @gaiusfrakkinbaltar @reginagina-blog1 @loveme-tenderly @lastphoenixrising @rattlemyb0nes @rebellou @alljusthumans @gaiuswrites @lovecatsnotpeople @literallydontlook
“I’m a virgin,” you had said to him one night.
It meant nothing.
It meant nothing because, to him, you were the same with or without having slept with someone. Din knew that - had you chose him - it would be an honor. He would think no differently of you either way, and that even if the two of you never had sex, he was glad to have met you.
Now he thinks he may be addicted.
Part of him really wishes that you hadn’t gone this far; that the innocence would have lasted until whenever it was that he forced to leave. Because now he was in over his fucking head.
Behind the shed, you’d grabbed his hand and palmed yourself against the cotton of your underwear. The song of cicadas did a humbling job of masking your little pants or the way you whimpered beneath him. And, sure, Din did everything in his power to break traditional norms, but he wasn’t going to fuck you behind a shed for the first time. His heart broke when he separated himself from you and you whined underneath your breath in protest.
“Come on,” he huffed, lungs attempting to keep up. “Let’s go.”
|
Three minutes.
That’s how long it took to run from the main house to the cabin. Three goddamned minutes was a record. You don’t recall running that fast since becoming an adult. If your high school gym teacher has witnessed the velocity in which you just sprinted, she’d be amazed.
It was good old fashioned motivation.
Fortunately, Din’s barely taken his hands off of you so he managed to catch your clumsy ass when you tripped over the lip of the front door. The two of you had chuckled against the other before he asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” you giggle. You place a hand upon your cheek in feign distress. “But I think I may need to lay down…”
Your tone, which is laced with suggestive demure, has Din raising a brow. “Oh yeah?” he growls.
You nod sweetly, lips still pressed against his. “Mm hm.”
|
You’re so goddamn beautiful.
When he presses you against the plushness of the sheets, he admires the way your hair fans about you and frames your face. Your cheeks are flushed and your lips plump from his kiss, the natural pout of them more pronounced now that he’s bitten and sucked at the flesh. The brilliance of your skin glows beneath the yellow light, neck joining the expanse of your bust which heaves with endurance. He kisses down your pulse point until he reaches the neck of his t-shirt.
His t-shirt.
“Can I?” he whispers against the hollow of your neck, fingering the edge of the fabric.
“Yes.”
|
You’ve never been this exposed to anyone other than the occasional friend (when changing) or your sisters (also when changing). It’s been so long since you’ve gone outside of yourself - into the very thick of reality - so when he asked if he could reveal you to it, the urgent “yes” surprised yourself.
Still - it’s another kind of anxiety; not violent, but in the way. When he’s stripped the shirt from your body - carefully, as though he were unwrapping a priceless antique - it’s a natural instinct to cover yourself, confident of the way you weren’t.
“Take all the time you need,” he whispers against the flesh of your neck. “I’m a patient man.”
It should’ve been enough and maybe in an alternate universe it was. Maybe that version of you threw all misogynistic beauty standards out the window into the night, but in this present day-in-age, you took a minute to go over the mental checklist. What if you weren’t to his standards? What was the situation like down there? What would you do if he wasn’t all that you decided him to be?
How long would it take to heal from that?
Before your mother died she took your hand and made you promise: I will do everything I can to feel joy, as fleeting as it may be. There are lessons to be learned. She’d made you chant it in a monkish way, as though preforming a ceremony in the sterility of a hospital room strung with cheap tinsel and a sad, plastic tree at her bedside. You’d understood what she meant then like the way a student might understand the components of Ancient Greek; not until it is utilized can its full potential make any sense at all.
The philosophers - and your mother - be onto something.
|
Something like a muffled version of his name slips lazily through your lips. And while it’s dissected, pulled apart with a lazy and tense breath, it’s the first time his name has sounded poetic. Din never thought of himself this way; that his person could ever inspire such an organic response as the way you unwound beneath him. He’s laid with women before - three, he thinks - but he’s not positive he’s ever experienced a woman before.
Xian was good at what she did and she knew it; Din wasn’t oblivious to that but it lacked a certain something. The other times his body has been weaved together with another’s was faceless; just hookups he’s tried so desperately to forget. Hazy nights in which he woke up to in the morning, their backs to him, and identity indistinguishable. Eventually he just stopped trying.
It wasn’t until now with your fingers clutching at his hair that he realized how the act - the very dance itself - could be purifying. How it could wash away the very worst of similar experiences and how it made something that always felt cheap now priceless. The body is a temple, his elders would always say, and it never made any sense to him. The body is a fortress made to withstand hurricanes and torpedos. It was no place to kneel, to worship, to inspire anything other than sheer refuge.
How ironic, as kneeling was the very thing he was doing now.
Irony wasn’t the word. Fateful, he supposes, as he tastes the fruit that’s always been so forbidden to him. Your thighs clench around his head and the fingers that have been stroking his hair grip the sheets, white knuckling the starched weave, until a gasp is caught in your throat. And then there is nothing but the pressure of ignition until it crumbles around you, fizzing the air with something akin to champagne bubbles.
There is no nasally whine that follows afterwards like there always had been before you. No wild “yes!” that pollutes the air. Just the instability of a weakened chest, the grasping at air, and the delicious feel of your hand enveloping his after having pulled it from your sex.
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You weren’t a stranger to penetration though this was was with exceptions; no one had ever done anything to you with foreign or, well, domestic objects. At the age of eighteen, your friends at the time had dragged you to the building on the east end of town that never officially existed until legality said that it did. La Boudoir Rouge was the place ‘vodka aunts’ went to cure the blues, bought mysterious items, and then hid the pink bags in the back of their closets.
So, yes; sex was a foreign exchange policy you’ve never found yourself involved in, but you knew the dynamics. You’d bought equipment and even enjoyed it more than you’d initially expected. Penetration wasn’t at all strange to you.
This made it easier, you think, as Din finally slides in. There was a stretch of course, and it took you a moment to get comfortable enough to brave any movement. Din drops his forehead upon yours, letting out a strangled breath through his nose, as you struggle to come to terms with the size. He’d given off an energy but…
“It’s so big,” you gasp once he reaches the spongey part of you. It feels stupid, it falls short on a botched intake of breath, but it’s the truth.
Din’s composing himself, silent in his endeavor to mold himself within you. His arms are pressed on either side of you, body flush against yours with his pelvis meeting your pubic bone. There’s another moment of silence before he kisses at your temple.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
A smile graces your lips, though your eyes are clenched. “That’s an understatement.”
|
The pace is fast, sweat inspiring. It drips down your neck until it falls in the valley of your breasts and Din wants so badly to lick it from your skin, but he’s too distracted by the way you clench around him. It’s ironclad - it’s the best goddamn pussy he’s ever had.
He wants to tell you that but he’s unsure of how you’d react. You’ve been letting out delicious gasps and moans reaching an octave you’d never reach sober, but not you’re coherently vocal enough for him to say it outright.
And then you breathe it in a pathetic whine: “It’s yours, Din. It’s yours.”
He almost stops, but his body is hellbent on seeing this through. Whatever the fuck this was; a spiritual experience maybe. Perhaps he’d died after the last mission - broken and buried underneath mounds of dirt - and now rests in paradise where he fucks his way through eternity.
A raw, animalistic response possesses him, the fistful of flesh from your hips is replaced by the swell of you cheeks. He embraces you softly, but sternly enough to incite a whimper.
“What was that, chica bonita, huh?”
You throw your head back as he slams his hips against yours with more force, the excitement conjuring a great wave of adrenaline coursing through his veins. You try to speak but it fails to materialize.
He was balls deep and you were still shy by your interjection.
“What’s mine, sweet girl?” he whispers, mouth tickling along your collarbones. The contrast of gentle words and barbaric thrusts is something he’s never experienced during sex. Ever.
You let out one more mouthwatering whine before saying: “My pussy is yours, Din. Take it. Please, please…”
|
Suffice to say, that’s what does it. The two of you cum at the same time, like a synchronized dance, clutching one another so tightly it leaves red ribbons. Your fingernails had dug into his forearms and his at your waist in which his hands wrapped around. He lets out a deep, broken growl as you whimper, shaking like a leaf, and he pulls out just in time to paint your belly with pearlescent threads.
He collapses on top of you, knocking the wind from your fragile body. You’re absolute jelly beneath him, crumbled into bits, and would never be the same. Let’s stay here forever, you want to tell him.
Din presses his face into the hollow of your neck, listening to the rapid pulse beneath flushed and thin skin. Then he kisses the blood flow beneath once, twice. “My gorgeous girl…”
Stay with me. Stay with me.
You wrap your arms - which have settled from the convulsions - around his neck and hug him tightly against you.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
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realcube · 3 years
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 CRYBABY (1 / 2) | tsukishima k
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♡ alt fluff ending (1 / 2) of jealous — alt angst ending ( 2 / 2 )
♡ tw crying, unspecified injury, reverse hurt/comfort, mentions of violence, swearing, rude nicknames & set in a hospital 
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“Kei, hello? I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but Yamaguchi told me that you were here and..I just wanted you to know that I, uh, am really sorry and I hope you get well soon.”
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tsukishima felt like shit. he woke up with a splitting headache, which was only worsened by the bright beam of the LEDs which hung right above his hospital bed. it took him a few moments to become fully conscious but when he heard the irritating beeping of the ECG, his first coherent thought was, ‘wow, i can’t believe a fist fight with the king still has me hospitalised. how embarrassing.’
little did he know, kageyama was in the infirmary room right next to his own, being treated for his broken ankle and nose. 
tsukishima wasn’t spared another second to pity himself as his sore head snapped around to meet the gaze of whoever was lingering at the door, “hello?” he called out, squinting to try make out the looming figure before feeling around the side table for his glasses, “come in.” 
“Kei, hello? I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now but Yamaguchi told me that you were here and..I just wanted you to know that I, uh, am really sorry and I hope you get well soon.”
That voice was unmistakable.
his blood ran cold, suddenly feeling extremely dizzy and sick. “(y/n).” he muttered under his breath in disbelief, as he was finally able to get a clutch on his glasses and push them up the bridge of his nose, easing his headache slightly. 
“oh, thanks.” he croaked, his throat dry from both waking up and your presence. if he being completely honest, he hardly processed a word you said; as soon as he realised it was you talking, his mind was just flooded with emotions, feelings and memories alike. hardly any of them were bad — except for the more recent ones — yet he still felt an overwhelming wave of sadness which he had no choice but to hide. 
“so are you just going to stand there or are you going to come in?” he inquired, concealing his regret with sass, which was all to convincing since it was a usual practise for tsukishima by now. in fact, that’s exactly what had gotten him into this situation.
you inhaled sharply, shocked by the fact that he actually wanted you to stay as you’ve been under the impression that he hates you, which is understandable considering his recent actions. hesitantly, you emerged from behind the curtain that separated the bed he lay in from the door, your heart sinking upon seeing the state he lay in; out of the many years you had been friend with him, this is the worst you’ve ever seen him. pasty, chapped lips, bloodshot eyes, messy hair and extremely scrawny, yet you couldn’t help but admire him for pushing through none the less. in your eyes, he’s still beautiful — but he’d never believe you if you told him — and he thought the exact same about you. 
“how, um, how are you?” you stuttered, shuffling awkwardly as you took a seat in the chair that was already placed beside the bed. the same chair that his brother had sat in yesterday and him mother the day before that. 
“what do you think?” he scoffed, gesturing to his current state and injury that was highlighted by the thick, white cast. 
your eyes widened, being hit once again by the harsh reality that he was no longer your friend. “i- i don’t even know why i asked.” you murmured, voice meek and shaky enough to catch the attention of tsukishima, who also forgot that he was supposed to dislike you.
his comment wasn’t intended to be rude but in context, he could completely understand why you thought that — however, that’s just the type of guy he is. looking at your disheartened expression, he felt his own fall to resemble it. maybe kageyama did knock some sense into the blonde as he was now able to thinking clearly, recollect on how poorly he treated you and wonder why he did those things.
truly, he wanted nothing more to apologise. to tell you how awful he was and that he doesn’t hate you, quite the opposite actually! he needed to let you know that you did nothing wrong and everything bad that happened was his fault and he was willing to take full responsibility. but of course, his pride didn’t let him. all he was able to utter was, “did you check up on kageyama?”
it was a harmless question, or so he thought. just innocently inquiring about the wellbeing of his teammate and your ex, so why were tears rolling down your cheeks? and why did he feel the urge to cry too?
“yeah, but it was really awkward.”
tsukishima cheek heated up with both annoyance and at the fact your hand was now resting upon his, “why are you crying then?!” he snapped, angrily intertwining his fingers with yours, not thinking much of it, “you made it seem like he died or something!”
“why are you crying?!” 
“i’m not fucking crying!” he was crying. crystalline tears running down his cheek tickling his pale skin.
outstretching your arm, you brushed your finger against his face to wipe away his tear then proceed to show him how the pad of your index finger glistened under the intense room light. “yes, you are, crybabyshima!” you half-cried, half-laughed, resulting in tsukishima hunching over to cackle at the nickname. 
“i’m crying at how stupid you are!” he tired to hiss but he really couldn’t take himself seriously, involuntarily punctuating each word with a chuckle or wheeze. 
“watch it, kei. the stupid one of us is in a hospital bed.”  
he quirked a brow, breathing frantically from having just laughed his lungs out, “uh, yeah. because of stupidest one’s boyfriend.” he didn’t even know if what he was saying made sense or not, as his main priority was trying to catch his breath. 
“ex boyfriend.” you corrected, both of you becoming uncomfortably aware that you were still holding hands at the same time, yet neither of you dared to move an inch. you sniffled while wiping your cheek with the sleeve of your jacket, “kageyama told me what happened. it was vague but he said that you attacked him because he cheated on me, is that what really happened?”
his memory of the event was as hazy as that description. although, that sounded about right but now that he heard it aloud, he realised how pathetic it sounded so obviously he didn’t want to admit to that sort of behaviour. “i don’t remember.”
“it doesn’t sound like you.” your voice was hushed, as if he was going to scold you if you spoke up. “so what do you remember?”
the headache that was previously preventing him from doing any deep thinking had now somewhat dissipated, allowing his to avert his gaze onto the hospital floor as he hummed in thought, “the last thing i remember clearly was walking to school the night after you-” he gulped, the horrible memories suddenly flooding into his mind, making his lips twitch into a frown as he recalled all the nasty things he said to you, “the night after you called me.”
you nodded, the memories not treating you kindly either as all you were able to do was mouth an ‘oh’.
“listen, (y/n).” tsukishima started, the sight of your dejected aura prompting him to finally, partially, speak his mind. “i’m sorry about what i said. i don’t even know why i said it so i don’t have an explanation..i’m just sorry.” he didn’t expect forgiveness, in all honesty. if the roles were reverse, he was unsure as to whether he’d forgive you or not. well, he probably would but still, that’s just because he’s fallen so he doesn’t expect the same leeway from you. 
but to his surprise, your expression softened as you cooed, “it’s fine, kei.” with a shrug, absentmindedly stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. “i somewhat forgive you.” 
his eyes basically popped out of their sockets, “what?” he almost instantly blurted out, looking at you as if you had gone mad. “why?” there was slight disgust laced in his voice, but that was as expected of him so you didn’t read to much into it.
“because you’re hot.” you joked with an eyeroll, taken back by the audacity he had to question your decision, “why do you care? just be thankful that we can be friends again!” you chirped but his grimace wiped the smile clean off you face.
he genuinely would’ve been more content if you had just stopped after your first statement. i mean, you looked at him like he was your world, even when he was laying beaten on a hospital bed, and the way your thumb gently stoked the back of his frail, calloused hand like it was treasure resulted in butterflies erupting in his stomach. was that just you being friendly?
“you really are stupid.” he tutted, averting his gaze from your watery eyes as it would do nothing more than evoke unneeded and unappreciated emotions within him. “i think i’ve made it exceeding clear that i don’t want to be your friend.” despite his efforts, his words still sounded unsure and a light blush kept creeping onto his features. 
a gasp escaped your lips, your eyebrows furrowing as you immediately felt a surge of impenetrable rage shoot through your body, “why not?! i thought we were getting on like old times.” after the initial rush of adrenaline subsided, you found yourself sulking, slumping back in your chair and crossing your arms over your chest like a child. you just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, was that too much to ask? or did he truthfully detest you? and if that’s the case, why was he holding your hand so tightly, refusing to let go?
“idiot, i mean i want to be your boyfriend.” the last word was spoken meekly, as if it was a curse. “i didn’t think i’d have to spell it out for you but i guess i shouldn’t have overestimated your intelligence.” ironic, considering that you didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that he was joking. you had known him for long enough to be aware that he was physically incapable of giving a compliment without following it up with sarcasm or an insult. 
it was as if someone had lit a blast furnace underneath your chair as you felt your whole body heat up to an uncomfortable extend, instantly aware of your hand in his you felt your palm become clammy — or perhaps that was his —   either way, you were quick to yank away, leaving tsukishima extremely confused and oddly offended.
“kei..” you breathed, mind completely blank, “why?” 
“what do you mean? i don’t know why.” this whole week has been a roller-coaster of emotions for him and now he was trying to finally bail himself out but you weren’t making it any easier, but at the end of the day, he only had himself to blame as you’d probably be a lot more forthcoming if it wasn’t for his past attitude. 
there was a part of him that was ready to gush on to you about how warm you make him, how your touch sends butterflies through his body, how your general demeanour makes him feel as though he could entrust his whole life to you but his pride wouldn’t allow him to express said thoughts. 
but fortunately, he didn’t need to elaborate as your finger found his jaw, tilting it upwards so he’d meet your reassuring gaze, “i’d love to. we could go to that dessert place near your house and get that couple’s discount! well, when you recover, of course.”
poor, simp tsukki didn’t even try to resist the smile his lips curled into as your minty breath tickled his skin. “i ask you out and the first thing you think about is dessert? typical.”
smirking, you leaned in to pinch his cheek but immediately jerked backwards when he winced, “ah, i’m sorry! old habits die hard.” you chuckled awkwardly, feeling a resurgence of the previous heat when he kissed the back of your hand to show no hard feelings. 
“it’s fine. but as an apology, stay with me for a while.” he said, his eyes fixated on the window by his bed. his hand subconsciously finding it’s way into yours once again. 
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evolutionsvoid · 3 years
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Before I had even started this trip, I already had the worry of getting lost. Driving for hours on end through places I had never even heard of, it seemed inevitable. Despite that, I had no other choice but to go. What life I had here was gone, and staying would only have me stewing in the rotten memories and people that plagued me. Though this opportunity was a weak one, it was my only shot out of here. So I packed up my meager things and drove off into the unknown. Best to take my chances out there, then remain in this prison a minute longer. My anxiety born from this journey drove me to prepare for every possible scenario. The biggest worry was getting lost on the way there, but with a mountain of maps, a GPS and a folder of addresses, numbers and contacts, I figured I would be safe. After all, once you get into the barren countryside of flat fields and endless dirt, all you had to do was pick a road in the right direction and drive. I needed to go west, so that was what I did. I drove on for hours, but it felt like I had hardly moved. What a strange feeling it was, to travel hundreds of miles and see absolutely nothing. This trip was supposed to be a transformation, a needed change for me to finally regain control of my life. Yet, I felt no joy or wonder. I guess I was expecting to encounter breathtaking landmarks and travel through strange new places, evidence that the world was bigger than my ignorant little hometown. Instead, I drove through a flattened world of grass, corn, dirt and the occasional pathetic tree. Not exactly the scenery that inspires awe. This repetitive land was probably the reason why things turned out this way, as it was impossible to get a bearing when everything looked the same. Hours had passed since I turned onto that empty road, and yet I failed to notice that things were not right. I ignored the fact that I hadn't seen a single street sign the entire time, or that there were no forks or splits to be found. To be fair, it was long into the night, so most of the blank landscape was smothered by the darkness. I just held onto the idea that I was almost to the next town, if you could all any of these places that. What little civilization I had seen was a sad collection of wore down store fronts, crumbling bars and ancient gas stations. They sat in clumps along these forgotten roads, sharing much with the greasy roadkill that was spattered on the asphalt. Pathetic as these places were, I still yearned for them as I drove down that endless road. Surely one had to be nearby, I just needed to go a few more miles. I followed this delusion for quite some time, pretending that the lack of signs or markers wasn't something to be concerned about. Eventually, I just had to give up. With the clock on my dash showing some obscenely late time, I knew I needed to pull over to collect my thoughts. Looking over my supplies, I found my GPS worthless and the maps just as useless. With no service or any indicators that could help me pinpoint my position, these intricate foldouts might has well have been blank. It was then that I realized that I wasn't lost, as it felt like it was something far worse. When one is stranded in a place they don't know, one of the biggest issues is the overwhelming amount of options. Be it the woods or some unknown city, you are faced with many directions and choices, but you have no clue where any of them lead. Do I go north or south? Do I take the parkway or the back roads? Which exit on the roundabout gets me going the right way? With all this, it is obvious why clueless people wind up going in circles. That was what I considered being "lost" was. This, was something quite different. I didn't have a ludicrous amount of options, rather, I only had two. Go forward or back. The problem was that both choices felt wrong. The path forward had no hope or potential, no signs that suggested anything was to be found up ahead. That choice led to an unknown future, but it seemed more enticing than turning back. Though I didn't know what lay ahead, I did know what was behind me: absolutely nothing. Turning around would mean driving a countless amount of hours until found out where civilization had stopped, but I had no clue where or when that was. I would just be retracing my steps through a known wasteland, losing both time and gas. In the end, the unknown path ahead seemed more comforting. Surely I was bound to run into something eventually, even if it was a rusty road sign or some hermit's shack. Though my mind was made up, I chose not to continue just yet. I was drained of all energy, and I knew it was a poor choice to drive in such condition. It was the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, so what harm was there to grabbing a quick nap? Perhaps sleeping until the sun returned was a good choice. Daylight could reveal clues about my whereabouts, ones that were currently blotted out by the dark. A rested mind would also work way better, and it would probably solve this problem in a second. So I made sure my car was properly off the road before I turned it off. I locked the doors and leaned my seat back as far as I could. It wasn't long after I closed my eyes that my exhausted body finally received some reprieve.   I awoke awkwardly, as if some unremembered dream or nightmare had snapped me from my slumber. It was still night, though I didn't know how much time had passed. I looked at my phone, but my groggy mind couldn't interpret the numbers it showed. I tried to stretch my limbs in the cramped space, but it gave very little relief. My drowsy state made me think that I had only dozed off for a few minutes, as I sure didn't feel any better. Perhaps this cluttered, stuffy car wasn't the best place to get some beauty rest. I figured I would try to go back to sleep, as my options at the moment seemed just as bad as before. As I wriggled around in an attempt to get comfortable, my eyes looked out into the night and saw it. It was funny how strange it seemed at that moment, though I knew fully well what it was. The slow flash of a yellow light, a sight I was quite familiar with, but my tired brain struggled to understand it. I leaned forward for a better look, but it didn't help in the slightest. With my car turned off, the world was pitch black, save for the errant star and that pulsing light. It sat way off in the distance, but there was no mistaking what it was. It took me a second to understand that this was a good sign. A human construct like this suggested civilization, and also a cross road. Perhaps up ahead was where I could find some identifying signs or directions to a nearby town. With sluggish joy, I went to turn on my car and pursue this miracle, but then the thought struck me from out of the blue. How come I didn't see this before? Sure, I was tired and disoriented at the time, but a bright yellow light blinking in a dark void seemed impossible to ignore. I had sat in this spot for a good while before I had decided to get some rest, so how come I didn't see it then? As I struggled to properly answer this question, I looked to the light and noticed something odd. Looking at it now, after a few minutes of gathering myself, it seemed to be bigger. It flashed brighter and larger than before, but perhaps it was just my imagination. I sat there for a moment and soon confirmed that this was no illusion. The light seemed to be getting closer to me. I looked to my dashboard, thinking I had accidentally put the car in neutral and I was slowly rolling forward. The little arrow pointed firmly on the P, so that couldn't be the answer. When I looked back up, the light was nearly blinding. It also seemed to bob and sway about, as if blown about by a weak breeze. The realization that it was the one moving froze me in my seat. I had no clue what it was or what was happening, so panic took over and short-circuited my body. A turned into a statue in the front seat and only stared with wide, terrified eyes. I did nothing but watch as the light bobbed closer, until it was at last upon me. At first I believed it to be heading right towards me, but in those few horrified moments, I saw it walking upon the very road I had traveled. It strolled down the middle, treading upon the cracked asphalt and faded lines. When the light came perpendicular to the front of me car, I at last could see what it was. I recognized the three colored traffic light that hung over every nearly every road, but the rest of it refused to be understood. I saw a metallic skeleton, built of rebar and steel. It bent and twisted into a bizarre lattice, creating limbs and body from an iron spider's web.  It walked upon four legs, and the blinding light hung from a long, arching neck. Something black and wet hung in clumps from its body, creating a sticky cloak over its wiry bones. As I sat frozen in terror, the metallic beast strolled down the road. It walked with slow tired steps, its blinking head hung low. Though it was clearly no creature of flesh, it made me thinking of an exhausted horse, weary from a long day's work. It didn't approach my car, it just kept walking by. It was only when it was passing my driver window that it paused. It stopped in its march and slowly turned its pulsing head towards my vehicle. I could not tell if it was looking at the car or me, but I clearly caught its attention. It gazed at me with a single yellow eye. Above and below sat the green and red, but they remained dark and cracked, like eyes that had long gone blind. It made no move, it just sat there for a moment to watch. After a few seconds, it sadly lifted its legs and continued on its march. The bobbing light continued down that endless road, the blinking growing weaker as it went deeper into the night. I sat there until that yellow light grew small in my mirror, becoming just another star in the darkened sky. I didn't know what to do, or even think about it. Though it showed no aggression, I dared not turn around and pursue it. Instead, I simply turned the car on and pulled back onto the road. I gave up on any thought or reasoning, my mind refused to accept what I had seen. I just got into that dusty old lane and began to drive onwards... -------------------------------------------- “Caution” A design I came up with a way back, which fittingly enough was around the time I went on my roadtrip. I think it came to be through a mashup of traffic signs and weird art sculptures.
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greenygreenland · 3 years
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Dream A Little Dream of Me: Norman x Reader (part four)
-part four because I couldn’t fit everything in part three-i went overboard, I’m sorry
-please enjoy I worked a month on getting this out, haha. it is a labour of tears and love.
---->PREVIOUS PART <-----
Summary: You need your memories back. But how will you get them?
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Gracefield House
Not a single soul moved for what felt like centuries. The moment Ray, Gilda and Don arrived at the scene, it was clear that nothing else could be done. Mama smiled at her children viciously. She wasn’t here to play nice any longer. Today, she was the hunter and her children the prey.
“It was a clean break. She will recover smoothly,” Mama curtly announced. “And Norman?” You didn’t like the way she looked at him, or the way her grip seemed to tighten on your limp arms. Her gaze dangerously narrowed and she said, “Your shipment date has been set.”
Your heart stopped. Norman’s shipment date had been set? No, that couldn’t be. Your plan required at least another week until everything fell into place. Norman was the core of it all. Without him, what would you do?
And speaking of which, he was going to die. Die. Die. Die. He was going to die.
You squirmed in Mama’s grasp, hoping--praying that you could maneuver around this. Norman wasn’t going to die. You wouldn’t let him.
“Let me--let me go!”
It was reckless and it was stupid to think he’d be able to evade Mama’s sight just like that, but you had to try.  Didn’t Emma say you’d all leave here together?
“Norman--!”
He blinked as if he’d woken up from a long dream. He forced himself to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Don’t struggle.
Don’t struggle? How did he expect you to sit around and do nothing? If anyone should be shipped out first, it should be you. Why? Because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let any of your family go.
Mama glared down at you with a cold smile. “You can’t fight me more than you can stop the sun from setting,” she said, heaving you higher off the ground. Your leg hit Mama’s arm and a cry escaped your lips. Norman flinched and Emma stood frozen in place.
You were always the strong one, not Emma, not Ray, and not Norman. Because you were one of the eldest, it was your responsibility to be the shoulder to cry on and to stand when no one else could. To see you holding back tears and gritting your teeth tight enough to make your gums bleed made Norman’s little heart break.
He didn’t care about his shipment date. All he wanted was to see you safe.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of faces, voices and regrets. The sharp pain in your leg long faded, leaving only a dull throb that stayed as a reminder of your failure. Yes, that was what you were, right? You couldn’t complete the plan even with Don, Gilda and Ray distracting Mama. You were pathetic. A waste of space.
The door creaked open and you sat up a little straighter. You smiled at the trio as they entered the room. “Hey guys.”
“How are you feeling?” inquired Norman. He took a seat by your bedside and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Ray pulled up another chair. He hid his face behind his fringe to conceal his grim frown. It didn’t work though, and you merely smiled at him. He huffed irritably, as if he didn’t want you to know he worried so much.
“I didn’t think she’d go that far.” Ray quietly muttered. You knitted your brows together with a absentminded shrug. “And to think I was that close to getting her watch.”
Emma’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I had--”
“It’s fine Emma.” you said with a warm smile. “Broken bones heal, it’s not permanent.” She wrapped you in a tight embrace and you rubbed her back comfortingly. It was hard to look her in the eye anyway. The sadness she tried so hard to force down only added to your guilt, and you weren’t sure if you could think straight with all the regret.
“I’m sorry this happened.” you began. “Now that I’m hurt, you’re worrying for me.”
Emma pulled away as Norman gave a firm shake of his head. “None of this is anyone’s fault.” he stated. "None of us saw that coming, and even if we did, I’m not sure we’d be any good outwitting Mama on the spot like that.” He offered a gentle smile that made you feel just a little bit better.
-----
(University name), DAY TWO
Class went by rather quickly today, and maybe that was because you were sure you’d seen similar material before. Each answer came easily along with each mark on your paper like a memory from long ago. You’ve answered harder questions, much more difficult tests that held more weight than a simple grade.
“I was impressed by your extensive knowledge on world history,” said Mr. Baker. He was the world history teacher. Unlike the others, he was young, perhaps in his mid twenties. In the hour you’ve gotten to know him and the class, you’ve come to realise he’s a class favourite. For good reason, too. His jokes were phenomenal, the material entertaining, and the atmosphere, friendly.
It was like having a conversation between friends rather than teacher to student.
“Do you know what school you went to before you came here?” he inquired. You shook your head. “No. I don’t think I went to any school before this actually...but I’m not sure. I wish I knew, sorry Mr. Baker.” He offered a warm smile. “Maybe my jokes will remind you of something. In the mean time, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll remember eventually.”
Eventually. You didn’t want to remember ‘eventually’. Living a life of ignorance was difficult as it was, why should you continue it? You adjusted your grip on a notebook and said, “See you tomorrow Mr. Baker.”
“Same to you, Letha.”
The cafeteria wasn’t hard to find. Students crowded in the hallways, pushing and shoving as they stuck close to hurry towards for their meals. You didn’t care much for the food. There wasn’t any way it could measure up to your, or Gramps’s, cooking anyway.
“Letha!”
You spun around as much as you could in the congested hall. Flanna raised a hand above her head and waved. She didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was looking for you. “Letha, you comin’?” There was no way out of avoiding the red-head. She had too much energy, and an eerily observant eye hidden under her smile.
“Hello to you too, Flanna.” you said, matching her step. Flanna grinned brightly. “Are you excited for lunch? My first day here, I thought it’d taste terrible. You’d be surprised how good it is, but maybe that’s because the school’s expensive.” She let out a snort that was lost to the chatter of the crowd.
The cafe wasn’t all too big. Despite the long tables stretching out across the floor, and the high ceilings and tall windows, it felt small. Crowded. The sheer amount of teens gathered in one area was daunting, scary even. It made your head spin, and your stomach lurch in disgust.
Was this what everyone dealt with every single day? How could they do it? This was madness.
Flanna patted your shoulder and led you towards the lunch line. “You get used to it after a while. Can’t say I have, but it’s not so bad.” She handed you a cup of fruit from a large cooler. You watched as she did the same and instructed the lunch lady on exactly what she wanted.
You copied her. It was all you could do to prevent embarrassing yourself.
Once you found a table, a long sigh left your lips. “That was actually...a bit stressful.” Flanna chuckled good-naturedly. “Oh, I get it, you’re shy, aren’t you? I had a friend like that back in ninth grade when I still lived in the countryside. Couldn’t even go in line without help from me.”
“What happened to that friend?”
“Moved away. Lots of people do. They like the city because it’s “full of opportunity”.” Flanna rolled her eyes. “I think it depends on what you want. I’d prefer a quiet life where all I have to do is take care of a farm. You know, sheep, chicken, cows. It’s easy because the only person who’s your boss is you.”
Flanna clearly didn’t favour modern life as much as her peers. She went on about the difficulties of technology and how they were “nothin’ but trouble” for simple folk. You couldn’t say much about that, but you wish you understood.
The rest of the day went by in a flash. It turned out, your last three classes were with Flanna. She didn’t talk as much in class, but she asked you a lot of questions about why you knew so much. Of course, you couldn't remember, but she didn’t know that. She didn’t know who you truly were.
FIVE MONTHS LATER
The setting sun illuminated the sides of your face as you glared at the frosty grass below your winter boots. You stood outside, wrapped tightly in your thick, fur coat. It was Gramps’s daughter’s before yours, so it smelled like him. The forest. A cosy fireplace. Hot chocolate. It did little to comfort your aching heart, and maybe that was because a part of it was still missing.
Standing in the last rays of sun reminded you of that boy with light hair and kind eyes. It reminded you of his touch that refused to leave your mind. He was scorched there like an emblem on wood.
“So why can’t I remember you?” Your words were lost to the harsh, frosty breezes. “Who are you to me?” He wasn’t family, that much you knew, nor a friend either. He was much more. Much closer to your heart than either of those.
-----
This wasn't a massacre. It was the shambles of a bloody war.
The remnants of limbs and broken bones lay strewn across the throne room, where pools of crimson stained the tile flooring with its iron stench. Part of you wished you hadn’t opened the door, and another said it was your fault for letting everything get this far.
Would you have been able to stop Norman if you ran faster? If you had stopped him earlier?
Your stomach flopped and turned. The smirk painted on Norman’s lips wasn’t right. It wasn’t him. He was satisfied, not with the massacre, but with how perfectly his plan had been executed. It played out like a game of chess. Each pawn he sent out had been eliminated, leaving only the most powerful pieces on the checkered board.
“I’m sorry,” Norman said. “It’s too late (Y/n).”
He wasn’t sorry and he sure didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for lying to you. Or at least, that was what you wanted to believe. Every fibre in your body screamed at you to run at him, slap him to the moon and back, or beat him to a pulp for lying and cheating you all. Yet you couldn’t do it. Not with the way he kept his eyes to the floor.
“I’m so glad you made it back safely,” he added. “It’s a shame you were a little too late.” Your gaze lingered on his for a moment longer before you cast it to Ray and Emma. They stood strong with you, yet you had a feeling they wanted to waver just as much as you.
Emma stared at the sticky crimson under her boot, eyes wide in disbelief. “They’ve...they’ve all been...?”
“Killed.” Norman plainly finished. “They killed each other and they’re all dead now. The Queen, the nobles, the Giran clan. All of them.” Despite the pleasant way he spoke, you had a feeling he didn’t mean it. The Norman you grew up with--no--the Norman you knew wasn’t like this. He was kind. Gentle. Sweet. He cared for everyone and everything, which was why he chose to be shipped out in the first place.
And why he always chose to be the sacrifice.
You heaved in a deep breath. If this were the reality of your situation, you had to accept it. Ignoring Norman for who he was and what he did wouldn’t do a thing.
“I reforged the Promise.” You made your way across the room, eyes straight and head held high. The smug glint in Norman’s eyes vanished.
“Everybody can escape to the human world and no one needs to fight. You don’t have to kill anymore, it’s over.” That was what you wanted to believe with every fibre of your being. But was it really all over? Could you escape to the human world and leave this place after what’s happened?
Norman shook his head, as if he knew exactly what you were thinking.
“It’s too late for that.” he plainly said. “No, it’s impossible. A monarchy that has lasted thousands of years has collapsed. Governance for the demons is impossible now. So is peace.” He glanced at the lifeless body behind him. “Iverk was the last one, and I killed him myself.”
You stiffened.
“We’ve put a lethal fissure in the demon society. A fissure that can’t be mended. All that’s left to do is,” he threw out a careless hand, “shatter it. All of the demons will die out. There’s just one more factor left. We can’t go back now. We have no choice but to wipe them out.” He straightened and it was like you were staring at a different person. There was no kindness in his eyes, or that light that you’ve relied on to keep you waking up every morning. “Don’t get in the way.”
You clenched a fist. “No.” Your voice came out strong, reassuring. “What is the point in wiping out a whole race just because we can’t see eye-to-eye? There’s hope and I’ve finally grasped it! For thousands of years, there’s been a cycle of slaughter and war that we have to break. I don’t plan on standing back, and I don’t plan on letting you become more of a murderer!”
Norman’s eyes were dark from under his cloak. “(Y/n)...”
You stood your ground. Defying him was the only way you could stay strong, the only way you could convince him. “We’ll find a way together! It’s not going to be easy, but I know we can do it!”
“(Y/n)...!”
“I’m not letting you sacrifice yourself again and I’m not letting you do this alone!”
Norman’s tight expression relaxed into an uncomfortably serene smile. “What are you talking about?” he lightly inquired. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m not going anywhere.”
You heaved in a sharp breath because he stopped telling you the whole truth ages ago. He stopped relying on you because he thought he had to do everything alone. “I can’t trust you. You’re a liar! You think you can fool me? I know something’s wrong with you, you’re just trying to hide it! Don’t underestimate the family you grew up with, stupid Norman. We can see through all your lies and tricks!”
You thought back to the day you walked into his office alone.
I know you Norman, don’t forget that.
It had been too long since you’d seen him and thought him dead. Too long since you were able to hold his hands in yours.
And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself.  
It was nice to see him again, yet there was something off about him. He hadn’t changed much besides growing as tall as a tree.
I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again...
The only difference was the hesitance in his stance. As if he were trying to hide something very painful in his chest.
...but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.  
Then he left your words open-ended, as if he knew he couldn’t possibly lie to your face like that. He knew you saw through him from the start. It was only a matter of time before he acknowledged it.
“Doesn’t it hurt?” you slowly inquired. “Because you’re so smart, you chose the reliable path. Because you’re so kind, you shoulder all the burden. I know you Norman, didn’t I tell you? You don’t want to slaughter the demons! And you don’t want to wipe them out either!”
That was the truth that shone in your heart. You wanted to believe in Norman because he always believed in you. If he didn’t then he wouldn’t have allowed you to go the Seven Walls. If he didn’t, then he wouldn’t have allowed you to walk without him.
“You shouldn’t lie to yourself,” you added. “What are you hiding? What are you so afraid of?” He raised a brow challengingly. “Afraid?” Norman wanted to laugh. “I’m not...”
“The Norman in front of me looks like a scared child.” You said it like it was fact, and judging by the way Norman’s gaze unfocused, you were right. He wasn’t just scared, he was terrified. Of the consequences, of how you would look at him again, of how the blood would never, ever wash off.
But it was okay, right? He was strong. Just a little longer and it would all be over.
You took a step forward. Norman firmly held out a hand. “Don’t come any closer.” His voice was void of any emotion, cold even. “I’ve come this far. I have no intention of turning back now.”
“Well that’s too bad!” you exclaimed. “Because neither do I! I’m not letting you go this time!” You grasped his hands in yours, giving it a firm squeeze.
“Yes, you’re strong, yes you’re smart and you’re amazing and all those great things, but you’re stupid too! And arrogant! Can’t you see that you aren’t alone? Don’t be afraid to believe in us! We’re here to share everything. The tough, the burden, the painful things and the scary!”
Emma nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’ve done that since day one. It’s what we’re here for!” Ray locked gazes with Norman. He wasn’t about to be left out of this, not after Norman’s little stunt back in Grace Field. “Don’t be so reserved either,” he added. “Just spill it!”
You squeezed his hands tighter and stood a little closer. “You don’t need to protect us anymore! We want to walk with you, not behind you!” Answers were simple, but the journey was everlasting and dangerous. You understood what it took to get here even if you weren’t walking in Norman’s shoes. It was difficult. Terrifying. But with all the accomplishments under your belt?
It was time to reunite with him.
“Your family and siblings are your friends.” added Ray. “We don’t want a future where you end up suffering no matter what the result is. And you? What do you want? What do you want to do, Norman?”
He pulled away and the warmth left your hands. “No, it’s no good.” he stated. “You’re already too late. I’m...I’m in a place where I just can’t go back. You can’t walk alongside me--”
“We know.” you interjected. Emma nodded. “About the poison, Mujika and Sonju...”
“And the experiment in the basement.” added Ray. A hopeful smile inched itself onto your lips. “See? We’re not too late. It’s okay to be vulnerable. If you’re the real Norman, then let’s lose our way together. Let’s struggle too, and laugh.” You held out a hand and Emma and Ray joined you.
“Let’s live together.”
Norman didn’t struggle to keep his cool. You re-called the look in his eyes, the same one you saw that night he was told his shipment date. He cried, not just because he chose to get shipped out, but because he was scared. For you. For himself. For his family.
That stifling look of serenity washed off his face. His lips trembled, his shoulders shook, and his eyes watered. You all wrapped each other in a tight embrace. No one deserved to face all the ages of time on their own, no matter what it was, and more than anything, you’d do that for him.
“But...” Norman’s voice trembled. “It’s too late. It's pointless because of the drugs we were forced to take. We don’t have much longer left to live--we can’t live on.” He collapsed to his knees in a heap. “Help me... (Y/n), Emma, Ray... Please...”
That was when all the puzzles finally fit. After laying in wonder for so long with thoughts that kept you awake until the sun rose, you understood. The hesitance in his walk. The way he tried to hide his sluggish step. The way he acted like he was running out of time.
“You’re dying.” The words left your lips before you could even stop them. “It’s...the drugs from Lambda, right?” Norman tried to suppress a sob, but it came out in a way that sounded like he was chocking on his own lies and tears. You took a knee, gently placing a hand on his cheek. “Oh, Norman.”
He couldn’t stand the soft look in your eyes, or the tone in your voice that was like a warm summer breeze. You should have yelled at him. Should have stamped your foot against the ground and growled and slapped him. Yet you knelt in front of him, caressing his dampened cheeks with a touch that said it would all be okay.
Norman wouldn’t look at you--no--he refused to because he was just as you said: a liar. Why were you so kind to him when all he did was lie? He said he’d let you go to the Seven Walls. He said he’d wait for you. He said he wasn’t going anywhere and that he’d live, laugh and do everything to be there with you, for you.
Norman wondered what a murderer like him ever did to deserve you.
-----
The grass crunched under your feet. Towards the brick walls you walked, following the sun as it lowered deeper and deeper towards the ground. You had to keep reaching for it. You had to see it.
In times of trouble, it was your beacon of hope, the last bit of your old life you were sure you could recall. No matter where you were, it was always the first thing you followed. Towards the light. Towards that ray of hope.
You came to a stop at the edge of the school grounds, right where the gates separated you from the outside world bustling with life. The occasional car zoomed through the streets, interrupting the quiet air with its incessant honking and screeching.
The sun disappeared over the horizon, bathing the skies in navy blue and purple.
“Excuse me.”
The voice was light, warm, polite.
“You should really hurry home. It’s not safe out here at this time, especially since we’re students.”
You stuffed your cold hands in your pockets. “I really appreciate your concern,” --you turned to face him-- “but I’m fine. Thank you.”
A boy with light hair and kind eyes met your gaze. Something about him reminded you of something--no--someone. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but the boy did. He’d never forget you, no matter how many lifetimes he lived.
“(Y/n)?” He was breathless, frozen in time as you awkwardly knitted your brows together. (Y/n) wasn’t your name. It was Letha, the name Gramps gave to you because you couldn’t remember your own.
Your confused frown made the boy’s eyes well with tears. You stared, watching as he slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a pained sob. He was a student here just like you, sporting the traditional sweater vest, white button-up with a tie, and black slacks to match. You’ve never seen him before, yet he looked so...familiar.
Gosh, why couldn’t you remember?
“It’s been over a year and,” he chocked, “I’ve looked everywhere. How could you--how could you do all that for us? You promised we’d live together, but you reforged the Promise and--and...”
The boy's knees wobbled, and out of instinct, you threw out your arms. He fell into you, right at the crook of your neck. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew his tears must have been frozen by now. It was cold out here.
“Are you okay?” Your voice was small, fearful almost. It made the boy cry harder. “I don’t know you, but why don’t we go inside? There should be a cafe down there, and they’re open late, so...”
“I’m sorry.”
You paused.
“I’m so sorry.” he echoed. “I wish I was there. I wish--I wish it were me--but instead...”
You patted his back as if you’d known him for a lifetime. Maybe you felt bad and that was why you hadn’t shoved him off, or maybe, it was because having him in your arms felt so right. Familiar in a way you couldn’t put into words.
Your gentle touch made the boy’s sobs relapse. He curled into you, wrapping his arms around your middle like you’d run away. Like you’d disappear. There was something so nostalgic about this hug and the way you both had your arms around each other.
It had happened before.
“The Promise,” the boy muttered, “you made it in exchange for--”
------
Bright, blue sky stretched out as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful, and oddly calm. Perhaps a little too calm. After running through a maze of illusions and riddles you struggled to solve, you arrived in this place. Alone. The ground was like water, and with each step you took, it rippled and fanned out.
Someone sat in the middle of this endless sky and water, hovering over it serenely.
“What is it you seek?” the demon inquired. You stepped forward. “I want to reforge the Promise.” The demon’s single eye gazed straight through you, as if you were nothing more than a sheet of paper held to the light. “Sure, (Y/n).”
You pursed your lips together. He was unnervingly calm, child-like even, and you had a feeling it had to do with his ‘reward’ after the promise.
“So what is it you seek?” questioned the demon. “You must give me a reward as well.”
Yes, that was the catch. But what could it be? This demon was a being higher than anyone in the land, a god that once split the world in two. He transcended time, yet remained relatively simple-minded and difficult to read.
“The reward,” the demon fiddled with an orb in his hands, “hmmm... It would have to be something important. Ambition. Desire. What someone longs for. What I would want is something important to the other party. Will you make a wish despite that?”
This was for more than your family and Norman. You had people relying on this one choice, this one Promise.
“Yes, I will make a wish despite that.”
It all meant more than the world to you. You had to liberate your family, the children who were raised like livestock and mass-produced like wild animals. And the mamas who fought to survive--you had to think about them too.
“I wish for all the cattle children to cross over...”
They didn’t choose that life of suffering. None of you did.  
“And after that, for it to be completely impossible to pass between the two worlds.”
The demon continued to stare. You stood strong and proud with the weight of all humans in this Neverland on your shoulders. If he granted your wish, then the tide would turn and you’d be able to save everyone and everything.
“I will grant that wish,” he said. “And the reward I want are your---”
----
“Memories?” The words fell from your lips in a hasty breath. More than anything, you valued finding them. It was the only missing piece in your heart. The last portion of the unsolved mystery.
This boy--whoever he was--talked about you like he knew you. Held you like you meant something. Said that name, (Y/n), like it were his life line. He pulled away with a sniffle, settling his hands on your shoulders with a loving touch.
“You don’t remember me.” He lifted a hand and raised it to place on your cheek. But he couldn’t touch you like he used to. Not when you looked at him like he was far away and out of your reach.
“You don’t remember me.” the boy quietly repeated. He began to pull away, but you grasped his hand in yours. It was warm, soft. “No, I...I’ve seen you before.” There was a pained look on the boy’s face, as if he thought you were lying to him.
“Haven’t we been through this before (Y/n)?”
No, said your mind. Yes, said your heart.
“You shouldn’t lie to yourself.”
Your grip tightened around his hand, but not enough to hurt him. “I...I do know you. You’re...” You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. You shouldn’t lie to yourself. But you did know this boy, and all this time, you yearned to see him.
Remember.
Remember.
Who was he to you?
Who were you to him?
Remember.
Remember!
“I can’t remember your name,” your eyes welled up with cold tears, “but I know I’ve missed you all this time.” You pulled his hand to your cheek as he brought you close. The scent of parchment, aged books, and the woods. Yes, that was nostalgic, so much that it felt right. The final piece, fragmented and broken, began connecting again. It brought the dots and the gaps you tried so hard to fill together.
But something else was still missing.
The boy pulled your head to the crook of his neck and rocked you from side to side in the moonlight. Even the hazy streetlights were drowned out by the stars. You liked to think it was because this part of the city was quiet, isolated, from the rest of the world. And the rest of your worries.
“Norman.” he said.
You looked up at him.
“My name is Norman.”
“And mine is...(Y/n)?”
“Yes,” he said with a bittersweet smile. “I think the day I fell in love with you was when you got excited about something Ray told you. Ray is our family if you’re wondering, and so is Emma, and Gilda, Don...” He told you about people you once knew, and the life you once lived. Some parts he left out, and others he kept.
But you wouldn’t have known. Not when your memory laid in fragments.
“...And so we looked for you. I didn’t think you’d be here, but I’m glad you were.” He laid his chin on the top of your head. “You used to joke that I’d never be taller than you, but now I am.” A sad chuckle left his lips. “I wish things could be different and that you--”
Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a flash of red hair. Your head began to pound and you nuzzled closer into Norman.
“What’s wrong?”
“My head hurts.”
He ran a hand through your locks, arms folded close around you as he hummed a sweet tune. It was sad, melancholy, and the only one you’d ever known your whole life. “I know that song.” you mumbled. Norman smiled softly. “Mama used to sing it to us all the time. When Ray had nightmares, she put him to sleep with this song.”
The pounding in your head increased and you squeezed your eyes shut. “I did too. I sang...to you.” Norman’s lips parted, but he settled on a nod and smiled instead. “You remember?”
“I think so.” The memory was hazy, as if someone were trying to make you forget for good. But you fought that urge, held on to the image of a room with white sheets and bed lined up side by side. “You were...talking to me...about a...I don’t know...”
“Go on.”
“You were crying late at night...so I...I sang to you.”
Norman kissed the top of your head. When he was in Lambda, locking in that room all alone running through test after test, he held fast to that memory. It kept him from giving up on what he fought for, and kicking the bucket for good.
“I missed you so much.” he wistfully whispered. “You can’t leave me again, or else you’ll break my heart for good.” You looked up to meet his watery eyes. “Why would I leave?” Norman shook his head. “It was in the Promise, wasn’t it? You can’t break it.”
The pounding began to fade. You tiredly smiled, but it was warm and thankful and happy. “That won’t stop me, Norman. I don’t think I could live without you.” He warmly chuckled, intertwining his hands with yours. “Me too.”
And it was then that you began to feel a little more complete, a little more you from then. You were sure you wouldn’t have to dream another little dream of your wodeerful Norman any longer, for he would be right by your side, where you both belonged.
You released his hands and cupped his cheek. It was a natural act you didn’t even have to think twice about. When you were you, you had done this more than a thousand times. Your lips connected in a sweet kiss. He tasted like coffee and tea rolled into one, and you had a feeling it was because he couldn’t choose which was better.
“I love you.” you said. He warmly smiled, but underneath, it was almost sly. “I love you too. Why don’t we do some catching up?”
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ssson-of-sparda · 3 years
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A TRIP TO THE BEACH - PART 2 (DANTE X FEM!READER)
Summary: When Dante shows up, Patty finally learns how things ended between Y/N and him but that's not the kind of ending she likes. (Part 5 of A Tab To Erase) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)
Tags: Dante is Tony Redgrave / Love / Angst / Blood and Gore / Minor Character Death / Violence
Author’s note: This is the end! I hope you enjoyed this fan fiction as much as I enjoyed writing it. I can't wait to read your thoughts about it. Is it the end you expected? How did you imagine it? Tell me everything. I'm all ears
Patty dared peeping from above the headrest of the couch when the woman opened the door, definitely curious to see the two adults’ reactions when they would finally see each other – though she still feared Dante’s wrath a little.                 But when she finally saw them face-to-face, this couple she had been imagining – and rooting for - for weeks, she didn’t care about her friend’s anger or disappointment - He would definitely thank her later - . They looked so perfect, like coming from an episode of one of those telenovelas she loved so much. Dante was towering Y/N perfectly and she was so pretty. And the lighting.  Gosh “Like a scene from a movie.” She sighed. If only she could read their minds right now.      “There you are, young lady!” Dante declared with a menacing finger as he entered the house            “Hi Dante! What are you doing here?” Patty tried to play innocent but there was something in her voice that couldn’t fool Dante. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I never thought this annoying little brat would dare come here … or steal my stuff.”  “That’s alright, Dante. We were having fun actually. And at least, that girl dared visit me … unlike someone else.” Dante definitely felt that sting and he knew he deserved it. “How long has it been?” “A while.” He said, pretending to be casual even though he had the right amount of years and months in mind. “And this day never happened. Come on, Patty. Let’s go.”             No, no, no. This couldn’t end like that. Patty thought. Not after all this time. “Can I at least finish my tea please?”                  “ I’ll buy you a tea on the way back to Red Grave. Let’s go!” Dante insisted as he came closer to the girl to grab her by the arm and drag her away from Y/N’s place as fast as possible. “Right. Like I’m going to believe you. You never buy me anything, even when you owe me.” Y/N smiled while Dante sighed deeply. “Damn it.”                  “ Plus, you still owe me a trip to the beach.”   “ Alright. I’ll take you to the beach. You happy? Now let’s go.” He tried to pull her from the sofa but the girl resisted.             “ Or … you can let Y/N finish her story.” Patty suggested. Dante glanced at Y/N whom he hadn’t seen go to the kitchen to prepare him a strawberry sundae. “Actually I’d prefer that. Y/N can you continue your story, please?”   “ Well, maybe Dante can tell you so that you can finally erase his tab while I’m making this devil a strawberry sundae. Topped with a cherry and two pink wafers, is that it?”           “I don’t know. You’re the pro.” He had a faint smile at her that Patty noticed and beamed at. About time. “Where did you stop you damn story?”
A TRIP TO THE BEACH - Part 2
Dante was sitting at his desk, eyes closed, a magazine covering his face while he was listening to some good old school metal on the jukebox he had just acquired when the damn machine starting to sizzle and shake. “You gotta be kidding me.” Dante complained and, with a deep sigh, got up from his chair to kick the jukebox like Y/N had once taught him. “Funny how those machines always need a good kick to work.”          When he thought of his beloved girlfriend and realised how late it was, he wondered how the hell she had not arrived yet. It was very dark outside and the clock was striking one. The restaurant should be closed by now and Y/N should have been in his arms at least an hour ago, naked preferably.
Not sure Patty needs to know that.
Worry tied Dante’s stomach in a knot in spite of his sleepy brain screaming at him not to be paranoid. “Relax, Dante. She’s probably helping clean the kitchen or something”, he told himself     And yet, tired of repeating this sentence over and over again in his head, he decided to grab his coat and head to the diner. Better be paranoid and look like fool rather than wait here and worry one more second. Plus, he had waited long enough already and he had made a fool of himself in front of Y/N more than once. So what was one more time, huh?
But when Dante arrived at the restaurant and found it empty and dark, he wished he looked like a paranoid fool. But he was not paranoid and he was not a fool. He was terrified and alert in ways he hadn’t been for years. “Please be okay.” He whispered as he entered the place, feeling once again like a little boy hidden in a cupboard, crying for mommy and his brother. A ghastly feeling for someone who had spent years burying his past deep in his armoured heart as a promise … a dying wish.
Dante climbed the stairs quickly, very quickly and yet not quickly enough to his taste, only to stop and freeze at the sight and smell of warm blood on the wooden floor. But there was not just iron and salt flowing to his nostrils, there was this stench, rotting and disgusting, a stench only his demon sense could pick but that would soon be unbearable for humans too, he was sure of it. The stench of decaying corpses.
The son of Sparda never really liked Y/N’s parents. He actually lost almost all sort of respect for them the second they insulted him and made him understand they would never approve of him or of his relationship with their precious daughter. But when he saw them both, drenched in blood and completely ripped apart, their broken bodies lying on the floor of in their bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel sadness and compassion especially for the woman who was standing in the corner of the room, petrified and in tears, her small feminine frame strongly hold in a demonic grip. A nightmarish vision that had been scaring Dante for too long.               “Took you long enough… Son of Sparda.” The demon said with a calm and yet menacing cavernous voice that would make anyone tremble in fear. But that wasn’t the sound of his voice that made Dante afraid – because yes he was afraid –
You? Afraid? Rrr, shut up!
It was the sight of the woman he loved so close to that monster’s sharp claws.           The half-demon squinted at the devil before him, at his cloaked silhouette hidden in the darkness, trying to hide his fear, turning it into a nonchalant and over-confident mask he knew how to wear better than anything else (except his red leather jacket) but that somehow didn’t look as convincing as usual. “I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong guy, pal. Sparda may have a son. But that's not me.”          “Tony, what’s going on?” Y/N’s voice was shaking just like the rest of her body.            “It’s alright, baby. I’ll get you out of here. I promise.” He had too.        “You can try and pretend to be someone else. But I know who you are. Dante, Son of Sparda. And soon, your blood will flow for what your father did to my master.” Usually, that same old routine would have made Dante scoff and slice that creature in two for he was used to demons coming at him with pathetic threats and silly villain monologues. But today, what was at stake was simply way too important for impulsiveness.           “And who would that master be?”         “The one true king of the underworld. Mundus.”
Dante had heard that name before, long ago, in something that was now a long-time memory. Mundus was the villain of his favourite bedtime story, the one his father would always tell him and Vergil before going to sleep, when they were nothing but kids tucked in their beds.            Mundus. He remembered how that name would make him fidget and jump in anticipation and how his big brother in the bed under his would always kick him through the mattress to make him stop wriggling like a hyperactive goldfish out of water.            Mundus, the so-called Prince of Darkness Sparda had cast away and locked in the underworld a long long time ago to free the human world from his diabolical tyranny. Never thought he would have ever heard about him in another context though.
“Oh. That dude. Thought he would be dead by now… like you soon will be”    “Cocky, just like that filthy betrayer Sparda.” The demon smiled, showing short pointy black fangs that yet shone in the dim moonlight. “And in love with a human, just like he was. It would be a shame …” He grabbed a strand of Y/N’s (colour) hair to toy with it with a vicious smirk, making the young woman shiver even more. “… if something were to happen to her the same way something happened to your slut mother” Dante felt his jaw clench tight and his nails pierce the flesh of his palms. The rage, it was slowly yet surely eating at him.               “Don’t you dare talk about my mother! And don’t you dare lay even just a finger on Y/N!” Dante growled, not realising he had just given his identity up. But the black demon did and with a satisfied smile, he cupped Y/N’s face in between his vile sharp claws to burry his long nose in Dante lover’s soft hair and smell her human perfume that was oh so exquisite to him. An intended provocation and an effective one.      “How chivalrous! How noble! I’m sure your father would have said the same thing…” Dante frowned and clenched his fists even tighter, trying to stay put and in control, trying desperately to resist the powerful will to pounce on that demon and impale him on his sword and spill his guts on the floor. He knew he had too because he knew that the reaction he thought so much about was exactly what that monster wanted.           He was trying to infuriate him, to make him reckless and stop thinking rationally so that he would have him at a possible advantage when he let his rage have the best of him. Provocation at its finest. A strategy Dante knew all about. “… had he been here when I and my fellow demons tore her apart.” Yes, he knew all about it and yet... “Mundus says farewell, hybrid filth.” He suddenly stopped caring about what he knew.
Dante jumped and with a scream, unsheathed his sword to slash the arm that was holding Y/N. An impulsive move, a mistake he realised only too late, when the demon pierced the soft neck of the one he loved the most with his sharp claws in an attempt to protect himself from the demonic blade.       Everything went so quick to Y/N and yet so slow to Dante. She didn’t scream. She didn’t even have time to realise what was going on or to process the sudden pain. She only understood something was wrong when her body hit the floor and she saw Dante’s icy blue eyes widen and stare at her in horror. Then she felt the blood, her blood she was quite certain of it, running along her pale skin covering it in shades of dark red.                   Dante screamed like never before, like no human could, so loud the walls trembled and the demon slightly bowed down in fear. He screamed with an anger, a rage he didn’t know he was capable of, something so deep and passionate he never thought was in him. Something fiery … something … demonic. It felt like his skin was burning, like there was a ravaging fire spreading, growing in his body, menacing to burst, to combust him. And it almost did. It almost did but it stopped just when Rebellion sliced the head of the demon open, spilling his brains and his blood on the walls behind him.   Then, there was a relief that all this was over. The fight. The fire. The fear…  No not the fear!
“Y/N” Dante ran to her and quickly pressed her body against his. His hand found her neck to apply pressure on her bloody wound. She was barely conscious but she was still with him. “I’m so sorry, baby. Hold on, I got you.” He kissed her forehead. It was so cold against his lips. “You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”
Dante stayed by her side for what seemed hours to him, holding her tight against him, trying to keep the weakening life in her safe, when finally blue and red lights began to flicker in the bedroom. What happened next was so blurry. All he could make out were a group of men dragging Y/N from his embrace, saying they would take care of her and that he had to let her go. He didn’t know how he did it but he eventually obeyed those men, in spite of his arms trying to reach for her.         He followed them- followed Y/N- to the crowded street where the nearby residents were crammed into, whispering and trying to take a peep at what was going on in this usual very quiet neighbourhood. But he didn’t care about them or their judgmental looks. All he cared about was Y/N being taken away in an ambulance.   The paramedics didn’t let him in. And in spite of how much he wanted to fight their decision, Dante chose not to. He couldn’t delay them. Y/N’s life depended on time and too much had been wasted already.
But he found her again, like he would always find her, and he spent days waiting for her to wake up, waiting for her beautiful (colour) eyes to open again, for her sweet voice to say she was alright, his hand holding hers in an eternal grip that only her awakening could break, days in which he had to think about what happened, about what could have happened and what will happen. So many hypothesis, each one worse than the last.       And when Y/N finally awoke and, with a soft smile that bear no grudges or hatred, said. “Hey handsome.” He did what he thought he should have done days ago. “We need to end this.”
***
Patty’s eyes were glowing with tears as she was staring at Dante without blinking. This was certainly the saddest love story she had ever heard in her entire life. Even Bolero in Spring had never made her feel so much. “You can’t do that!” She declared as if in denial, as if she could change the past. “The story can’t end like this!”    “But it is not a story, Patty. This is not some television show made to satisfy a bunch of hopeless romantic little girls. It’s real life. And real life is tough and …” Dante looked at Y/N, at her sad eyes and at the scar she was trying to conceal under a red silk scarf. “What’s done cannot be undone.” “But you loved each other!” The girl was almost furious, shaking her head nervously.              “Patty.” Dante said calmly.       “And you still love each other, I’m sure of it. I can tell by the way you both tell your story.”   “Patty.” Dante repeated with insistence this time.     “I won’t have this ending! No way!” She shouted with a deep frown.                  “It has already ended!” Dante screamed and Patty froze. He had never screamed at her, never in his entire life, even in times when she was incredibly annoying. He had never screamed at her. “It has ended. And neither you nor anyone can change it, okay? If it doesn’t please you, you can leave, wait in the car and go back to your mushy love series.”
There was a pregnant silence in which Patty stared at Dante with a disappointment he had never witnessed. “Y/N was right. You know how to fight demons. But you don’t know how to fight YOUR demons.” And she got up and left the house to do exactly what her beloved friend had told her, meaning wait in the car to go back to mushy love stories, leaving Dante and Y/N alone in the living room with nothing else but a heavy discomfort.
“I’m sorry for making a scene.”                “ Well, you always had a flair for the dramatic.” They both had a conspiratorial smile similar to the ones they used to share when they were younger except it was fainter, sadder. “ She read the letter, the one you wrote me” Dante said staring at his hands in discomfort. He couldn’t look at Y/N, not with all the memories rushing in his head.                  “ I figured.” But she looked at him, excepting deep down he would say something, anything about what happened.”Never thought you would have kept it though.”               “ Why not?”       “ You never replied.” And there it was, that disappointment Dante well deserved.   “I did reply. I just never sent the letter.” Y/N's eyes slightly widened at this unexpected confession. What did he mean by that?              “Huh, words of advice. After writing a letter to someone, you need to mail it.” She declared sarcastically, not really knowing how she managed to crack such a joke. Was it a joke? Maybe, because Dante laughed a bit.       “ I had no money to buy a stamp.” The girl scoffed. She knew the man before her all to well to know that this was “Bullshit.” But she had missed it, missed him.  “What did it say?”          “ Same crap I told you at the hospital. How much I was sorry and … You know what? … There.” He opened his red coat to take a crumpled letter from his inside pocket. It was unsealed, stamped –obviously- and her name and address were written on it.                “ I hope Devil May Cry will never provide delivery service cause this has clearly arrived way too late.” However she took it in her hands, gathering all her inner strength not to tremble as she could feel all those emotions shaking inside of her.  “ Years too late. You can say it.” Dante smiled as he watched the letter he had kept to himself for so many years finally reaching its long-awaited recipient.  “I don’t expect you to read it … or open it. You can actually turn it into a paper plane or shove it down my throat if you want. I won’t fight you.” Of course he had to joke, to play it cool but she didn’t mind. She knew it was just one of his defence mechanism and she couldn’t blame him for it.      “ So why giving it to me?” Dante shrugged, refusing to admit he did want her to read what his young 19 years old self had to say, what he still had to say. “You can’t stop with the devil-may-care for a second and admit what you truly want, what you truly feel, can you?”     “ Fight my demons, huh?” He quoted her and she nodded. “Yes. Would that be so complicated for a ‘menacing devil hunter’ like yourself?” It was her turn to quote him but that quote made him melancholically happy.                   “ I guess that’s a challenge I still can not face.”              “ Or don’t want to” There was a new pause and as they finally looked at each other’s eyes, they knew they would not fix what had been broken years ago today. He was not ready. Not yet anyway. And that was okay. Y/N was patient. She could wait. She could keep waiting.     “Goodbye Y/N” Especially when this time a kiss on her forehead and a hand on her cheek felt more hopeful than ever. “Goodbye, Dante.”
And she watched him leave, again, but certain that someday, one day he would come back to her as he always would. After all, he promised.
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kpopscenario · 5 years
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You can’t even reach my neck
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Pairing: Reader x Park Seonghwa
Genre: Fluff, a little bit of angst(??)
Word count: 12.2K
Summary: They’re best friends and have feelings for each other but they both don’t know about the others crush, Seonghwa comforts her after another bad date. (Basically friends to lovers college!au) 
Warnings: Some strong language (but not too much) and Hongjoong is portrayed a little bit off 
“Do I look like a whore?”, she asked for what seemed like the millionth time today. She looked at herself in the mirror, still with a frown on her face and still not happy with the outfit she had on her body. “No matter how many times you ask, the answer won’t change, yes you do.”, and there it was again, also for the millionth time. She didn’t take her glance away from the mirror, this time she wasn’t looking at her reflection though, but at the guy behind her laying on her big bed, still with the same somewhat annoyed but also amused expression on his face. “You’re not helping Seonghwa, you’re here to give me advice and not to say the same thing about every outfit I try on!”, she exclaimed as she turned around, now directly looking at him with a stern expression, Seonghwa just stared back at her with amusement in his eyes. “I told you that I liked the first outfit the most.”, “You mean the big sweater which basically covers my whole body?”, she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Seonghwa just nodded which made her frown even more.
“I’m going on a date, the big sweater would look like I didn’t even try!”
“Well, the thing is, you shouldn’t try.”, he simply replied with a sigh which also made her sigh.
“I know you don’t like him but-“
“I hate him.”
“Fine, I know that you hate him, but this date is really important to me Seonghwa.”, she said a little softer this time, a pout already forming on her lips. She had known Seonghwa for years, they were in the same class all throughout middle school and high school and now that they were in college they still didn’t even think about going parted ways, after all they were best friends and they couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be without the other one. She knew him like the back of her hand. She always knew what would cheer him up or make him sad, she knew how to make him laugh and how to get what she wanted, Seonghwa is like a book she had read thousands of times without it getting boring because whenever she’d read it again she’d find out a new detail which would only make her like him more. She was definitely whipped but would never admit that, she even has a whole list of things Seonghwa likes and doesn’t like on her phone and if that wouldn’t be embarrassing enough, she also updates it every few weeks, yeah, she knew Seonghwa so it was no surprise that she also knew how to act to finally get what she wanted.
“If you give me some good advice, I’ll come to your next dance class.”, she said with a small smile which made him raise his eyebrows a little hesitatingly. “Deadass?”, “Deadass.”, she smiled happily as he sighed once again and sat up properly on her bed to look at the pile of clothes next to him.
He really didn’t want to do it, he didn’t want to help her pick an outfit for her date, he just wanted her to change her mind and say something like ‘you know what? Fuck the date I’ll just stay here and watch some Netflix with you’, but she didn’t say that and it made him feel like a little child that doesn’t get to stay at his friends’ anymore because it was already too late. The thing was that he knew who her date was, he didn’t know him personally but he had seen him around hundreds of times, his name was Hongjoong and he never really cared about this dude, he only knew that he had the reputation of a pretty heartbreaker and he wasn’t surprised. He had seen him getting drinks poured over his head, girls screaming at him in the middle of the hallway and girls writing down mean things about him in the girls bathroom (yes he had been in the girls bathroom exactly once because the men’s bathroom was way too much of a mess so he decided to go to the women’s one since he knew no one was there, he really enjoyed reading the things written on the walls and even had a little ego boost after reading his name with a heart around it), but that dude still managed to get his best friend to go out with him on a date and that didn’t sit right with Seonghwa.
The other reason why he really didn’t like the fact that he’d take her on a date was the fact that Seonghwa had a big crush on her since 6th grade, he thought that he maybe was a little selfish when he tried to talk her out of the date but he had strong arguments. The thing is that in the beginning he wasn’t aware of his feelings for her, he only thought that she was breathtakingly beautiful and a very funny person to be around since she laughed at his dumb jokes back then, but once she had her first kiss in front of him at summer camp with that damned guy named Yeosang he knew that there was more, he had been staring at Yeosang with such an intensity and anger that the poor guy didn’t even dare to talk to him for the rest of their time there, he felt a little bit bad but also satisfied with the outcome. Ever since then he had been very protective of her, he’d cringe whenever their friends would tell her that he seemed like her big brother and he’d give all the guys she ever dated the same look he gave Yeosang back then at the camp (the guys weren’t as scared as Yeosang was back then but they definitely tried to avoid eye contact with him which somehow made him feel like he achieved at least something.).
So it’s fair to say that he was pissed, how dare this guy who obviously wasn’t good enough for her come around and take her on a date while he had to sit at home and eventually comfort her because he treated her wrongly? His best friend never had too much luck when it came to dating and it on one side made him feel good because that meant that there still might be some hope for him to finally grow balls to ask her out or confess his feelings, but on the other side it made him feel horrible, he just couldn’t see her hurt.
Whenever she’d call him in the middle of the night while crying his heart would just burst into millions of pieces, whenever he’d see her being treated badly his blood would be boiling and whenever he’d see the disappointment in her face when the guys suddenly wouldn’t text her back just made him feel like shit, in his eyes she was the most perfect creature that had ever existed, he never in a million years would even think about hurting her or giving her anything less than the world, but others didn’t see her the way he did.
He looked around for a little before picking out some high-waisted black skinny jeans and a dark red blouse that stopped where the jeans started. He made sure it wasn’t too revealing but still pretty (even though he knew she could wear straight garbage and still look drop dead gorgeous) and handed it to her with a sigh. “There you go.”, he said with a small smile since their fingers lightly brushed. They often touched, it wasn’t anything special, they cuddled, playfully hit each other and comfort each other with touches but they still had the same effect on him like they did a few years ago. His heart would slightly speed up and he couldn’t hide a smile, he’d feel warm inside and craved a little more, he wanted to have her hand inside of his but he knew that that wasn’t an option for now so he just plays it cool and acts like there isn’t a small firework going up inside of him whenever they’d share the tiniest bit of affection.
“I swear to god if I look like a clown I’ll kill you.”, she suddenly said with a frown which only made him chuckle and lean back again. “You’re like 5 feet tall you can’t even reach my neck.”, “I can reach your ankles tho.”, she just replied, this time also with a giggle after he just rolled his eyes at her. “You would never dare to hurt me.”, he said with an offended undertone which only made her giggle a little louder and his heart swell a little more. “Touché.”, she replied with a smile as she walked towards the bathroom which was connected to her room to try on the combination Seonghwa has chosen for her. The smile on her face didn’t vanish while she tried on the clothes, being with Seonghwa was just so… easy.
She couldn’t remember the days they weren’t friends, it seemed like she had known him her whole life. It seemed like yesterday when she got to the classroom where nobody would sit with her except for Seonghwa, at first she didn’t like him because it was a known fact that boys have cooties but once she got to know him a little more she was willingly ready to get them too if it meant that she could be his friend. He always had that warm comforting smile that would immediately bring up her mood, that smile made her feel warm inside and kind of complete, she felt comfortable with him, she felt like she could share her weirdest dreams or biggest fears with him without being judged (too hard) and she felt like no matter what happened, no matter how fucked up the world around her was, no matter how much the people around her changed, she could go back to him and his smile that felt like home and everything would be okay.
She never shared those thoughts with him and how deep her feelings for him were, she was too scared of fucking up something this important to her so she kept quiet and tried to drown her feelings in numerous dates and flings, trying to find something that would make her feel just as good as Seonghwa, someone that also felt like home, but nothing came close and she felt how her feeling for him only got more intense and more serious over the years, she was helplessly in love with him and she knew that those pathetic little dates wouldn’t change a damn thing, she knew that they would only make her feel worse, ironically enough she wasn’t too scared of the pain since she knew that Seonghwa would always catch her if she falls… and he makes some good ass kimchi fried rice which definitely was also a huge factor as to why she had fallen for him.
“What do you think?”, she asked a little unsure as she stepped out of the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror again. She tilted her head slightly as she looked at Seonghwa’s reflection, he had a blank expression on his face with a little frown. “Nope.”, he replied after a while which made her pout slightly. “Huh? Why?”, she asked as she straightened her blouse and looked at herself again. “You look way too good.”, he said with a sigh which only made her laugh out loud due to the sudden confession, she didn’t expect that and felt her face heat up a little.
She shook her head as she walked towards her accessories to pick a matching pair of earrings and a simple necklace. Seonghwa watched her while she was picking out her accessories and bit his lip unconsciously, he was lost in his thoughts and smiled slightly as she turned towards him again. “Thank you for the help.”, she said softly as she looked at herself once again.
“That’s what friends are for, right?”, he stated with a bitter undertone, she felt a little sting once he had spoken those words and her face dropped a little but both of them didn’t notice the others’ reaction, the resulted silence in the room felt a little tense so she eventually sat down next to him onto the bed and leaned against his shoulder which slightly made him smile and side eye her for a few seconds. “You know… the offer to watch Netflix is still out there…”
It was now around 6:30 pm but Hongjoong was nowhere to be found. Seonghwa has dropped her off at the place she and Hongjoong supposedly decided to meet up but she had been waiting there for 30 long minutes and he still wasn’t there, she even checked her phone numerous times to see if she maybe got the place or time wrong but after checking it for the nth time she figured that he was just late, really late at that. She even texted him after a while asking if he was on his way but he didn’t text back, Seonghwa has told her in the car that if anything happened or if she didn’t feel like meeting up with him anymore she could just call him and he’d be on his way to pick her up which kind of made her feel better, but she wanted to give this whole thing a chance even if the red flags were basically everywhere.
They both went to the same anatomy class and she’d be lying if she said that she liked him from the beginning, he was always extremely loud and didn’t take anyone serious which kind of made her feel like she might go up to him one day and just tell him to get his shit together, but she was nice so instead she had decided to go up to him and rather tell him to be a little more quiet to which he only had responded with a wink and a big cocky smile.
What happened afterwards kind of confused her too but this guy was really convincing, maybe it was his beautiful face, maybe it was her desperation to finally distract herself from Seonghwa, she couldn’t tell, but here she was, the sun already gone and her hands freezing. She checked her phone once again, this time a little more aggressive than before, she actually played with the thought of telling Seonghwa to pick her up, yes she would have to listen to his speech about how his gut never betrayed him and how he just knew how people are but at least she could be covered by a nice blanket, cuddled into his arms watching the new season of ‘American horror story’, the thought of that made her smile softly and feel a little warmer inside but she quickly stopped smiling though since she noticed that this weird elderly lady at the bus stop in front of her was watching her with confused eyes, she must have looked like a fool but she just played it off by looking away and fixing her coat.
After another five minutes she finally spotted her date coming into his direction, she expected him to be out of breath, maybe with a guilty expression on his face but no, he walked up to her like there was no rush and just greeted her with his million dollar smile, she actually felt like she could punch him. “Ah sorry, I’m a bit late, lots of traffic y’know.”, he simply said once he stood in front of her. ‘Fuck you’, was what she actually wanted to say, but the only thing that left her lips was: “Ah, don’t worry it’s okay!”, she roller her eyes at herself on the inside and followed him wordlessly inside the McDonald’s. She has watched that McDonalds for more than 35 minutes and the only thought she had had in her head the whole time was ‘please don’t tell me that he wants us to eat here’, it was a small, overfilled McDonalds filled with teenagers who were way too loud and kids who were even louder. She was really close to asking him if they maybe, possibly could go somewhere else but he walked into that McDonalds with so much determination and confidence that she didn’t even have the chance to say something (she also still was very much freezing so she was glad that at least that problem would soon be fixed.)
Once they were able to make their way to the queue that was way too long he finally turned around to face her and properly looked at her, or better said stared at her body with such an intensity that she wished that she had worn the big sweater Seonghwa had suggested, she blushed slightly and unconsciously covered her body with the coat which finally made him look up to her eyes. “No need to hide that body.”, he just said with a smirk which only made her blush even more, but it wasn’t the usual ‘oh he’s complimenting me, I’m getting shy’ blush but rather the ‘he’s already making me feel uncomfortable and I feel like I might kick him soon’ blush, but she just played it off by smiling at him. “Thank you… I guess.”, she replied with a sigh as she quickly looked away to see if the line was moving. “Maybe we should go somewhere else? There’s a lot of people, we might have to wait for a long time.”, she finally suggested as she put her eyes on him again, only to notice that he was typing something on his phone, not reacting to what she just had said.
She pressed her lips together and was about to say something when he suddenly put his index finger up to indicate that she should wait a second which only made her even more mad than she already was, but she just closed her eyes for a second and calmed herself down. “… okay now you can talk, what is it?”, he asked as he put his phone away, she repeated her sentence which only made him roll his eyes.
“Chill, be patient, this is the best place in town.”
“… it’s a McDonalds, there are like 20 other McDonalds here.”
“Your point?”
It was now 7:15 pm and they were still in line, they only exchanged some words, some meaningless small talk, the rest of the time they spent standing next to each other, him still being on his phone texting some people, and her just standing there and questioning her life-choices. Once it was finally their turn to order he just looked at the menu, telling her to order first since it would probably take him some time. She sighed, clearly annoyed as she quickly ordered her chicken-nuggets and pommes. Once she had told the cashier her order she looked at Hongjoong and frowned a little, he still didn’t decide on what he should get and it didn’t only make her grow impatient, but everybody else too. ‘Why the fuck didn’t he think about what to order while we were still in line’, she thought to herself, now crossing her arms over her chest and giving the cashier who was clearly stressed an apologetic look which she only replied to with an eye roll.
“Why don’t you just take a chicken burger Hongjoong.”, she said after what felt like an hour, she didn’t mean to sound that annoyed but it definitely came out very aggressively.
“Chill, we have time, don’t stress yourself princess.”, he replied with a somewhat offended look on his face as he looked at her and then at the cashier, the pet-name only made her roll my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time, she was basically fuming, she was so close to just storming out of that place and never talk to him again, but she took a deep breath, calming herself down once again, she’d probably be able to lead an aggression coping course if she continued like that, if Seonghwa would see her like that he’d probably just shake his head and tell her that she shouldn’t deal with his bullshit and she’d just frown at him because she’d know that he was right, but she kept quiet and nearly started clapping once he finally ordered the food he desired. The girl in front of them typed everything in with a sigh and told them the total.
Y/N took out her wallet and side-eyed him as she noticed that he didn’t take out his. He just looked at her expectantly while she handed the woman her card without saying anything. “I’m a little short on money, you know how it is.”, he said and scratched his neck after she got her card back. “I noticed.”, she replied coldly. She expected him to at least say ‘thank you’ or ‘I’ll pay next time’, but no, he just stayed quiet and winked at her once their eyes met.
They made their way to a free table, luckily they didn’t have to wait for the food since someone would bring it to them, they we’re able to find a free spot pretty quickly since the people that had been sitting there before just got up as they were walking past them. They placed themselves across from each other and took out their phones, she really wasn’t in the mood for talking to him anymore, this date was a complete disaster and if she wasn’t that desperate, she would’ve left ages ago, but she believed in second chances after all. She checked her phone only to see that Seonghwa had texted her which immediately brought up her mood a little.
‘on a scale from 1-10, how horrible is it?’
‘12’
She chuckled a little as she sent the text and immediately saw the little bubble which showed that he was texting.
‘told you, should I pick you up?’
‘no no, it’s okay, I’m just exaggerating a little, thank you though’
She quickly texted back, not wanting him to be disturbed by her, he probably had better things to do than listen to her complaints, little did she know that Seonghwa was basically just staring at his screen, waiting for her to text him to pick her up. He obviously wanted her to be happy and have a good time but he just knew that Hongjoong wasn’t good enough for her, so he spent the whole time thinking about what could be going on between them right now, the thought of Hongjoong holding y/n’s hand made shivers go down his spine and he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t happy that the date seemed to go badly.
He once again promised himself that he would confess to her soon, knowing very well that it was bullshit but it kind of became a tradition for him. Whenever she would go out on a date he would promise himself that he’s just go up to her the next day and confess his big fat crush to her, he even prepared the right words to say and how to say them without seeming like a creep but whenever he’d meet up with her the next day his heart would just sink and he’d feel sick to his stomach, he would try to speak up and tell her how much he appreciated her and how important she was and how he loved the way she talked while sleeping but instead he’d just stare at her awkwardly the whole entire time while she’d tell him about the dumb dates and afterwards he’d just call it a day and promise himself that he would definitely do it the next time.
He sighed slightly as he got his laptop, looking through the list of series he wanted to watch, finally trying to distract himself a little from the whole situation.
“I’m starving!”, Y/N flinched since she didn’t expect Hongjoong to speak up that loudly even though she knew how loud he could be. He’s always the one that could be heard even if you sit all the way in the back, he just had a loud ass voice which sadly was very beautiful, but she still rolled her eyes at the sudden sound. She was really close to just either running out of the fast food restaurant or slapping him, he didn’t even care to carry a conversation with her, the only reason he’d look away from his phone is when he’d wink at her with a smirk which at first seemed kind of cute and maybe even hot but now it just annoyed her to death, she wasn’t only mad, she was also frustrated, hungry and sad, she didn’t expect it to go perfectly well but this was just horrible.
She pressed her lips together and nodded her head, not bringing up the motivation to tell him how little she actually cared, if she wanted to she could literally scream at him how much she disliked him but she decided to just get over it and stay silent, hoping that she could just go home after that date. After ten more minutes of complete silence the food finally came and they both turned off their phones excitedly. She didn’t enjoy McDonalds very much but she was just happy to finally get something to eat but her face dropped as she saw what they’ve gotten, Hongjoong’s order was completely fine but hers was messed up, instead of the food she wanted she got a fish burger which would be no problem if she wasn’t fucking allergic to seafood. She pressed her lips together and was very close to either just laughing or crying her eyes out.
“Huh? Everything okay?”, Hongjoong suddenly asked as he saw her not touching the burger.
“I can’t eat this.”, she said with a calm voice.
“Why did you order it then?”, he asked as he raised his eyebrows, already nearly finished with his meal.
“I didn’t order this.”, she replied, once again very calmly while scanning the fries which didn’t even look like you could eat them without immediately throwing up. She looked up to Hongjoong who had stuffed his mouth with food and was chewing it with a lot of passion. Her calmness didn’t come from her patience or inner peace, no, she was completely done with everything, she knew that if something else would trigger her, even if it was the tiniest thing, she’d explode. She therefore tried to stay calm and leaned back, pushing the food away from her.
“So… you’re not gonna eat that?”, he asked after he was done with his meal as he looked at her with questioning eyes, she just shook her head and thought ‘wow, maybe he’ll suggest going to the counter to get me something else’ but she wasn’t surprised when he continued talking. “Great, can I eat it? I’m still starving.”, he asked, not even waiting for her permission to eat her food, he just picked up the burger and started eating it pretty quickly, for a second she was impressed of how fast he was able to eat that fish burger but then she just sighed loudly while leaning back and rubbing her eyes. She then took out her phone once again and continued playing that stupid game, nobody was texting her back and she had already seen all of the memes on Instagram, she just tried to get over this date quickly so she could leave and never talk to him again.
“It’s rude to be on the phone while somebody else is eating.”, Hongjoong suddenly said with a full mouth which only made her look at him dumbfoundedly. “Are you being serious?”, she asked after a few seconds, he must be kidding right? There’s no way for him to actually mean what he just had said. He literally was on his phone the whole entire evening but now he tries to make her feel bad about being on her phone? She was staring at him in disbelief and now with a lot of anger in her eyes, she was so done with his shit. He must have noticed how mad she was since he just shrugged and looked at his fries. “Chill, you have to learn how to deal with criticism.”, he replied quietly and with a small eyeroll which only made her even angrier. She was about to just let it all out when he suddenly just stood up and started walking towards the exit.
“Let’s leave.”, he simply said and didn’t even wait for her to stand up. She still looked at him with a frown but stood up and followed him through the masses, she just wanted to go home finally, she couldn’t deal with his bullshit anymore. Once they finally made their way out of the place she took a long, deep breath and enjoyed the coldness hitting her blushed face, it was way too hot in there and it smelled of grease and snot and just things she never wanted to smell again, she definitely wouldn’t go to McDonalds anymore. She closed her eyes for some seconds to enjoy the sounds of the city, finally hearing something other than children singing happy birthday and teenagers talking about big booties, she calmed down immediately and nearly started crying when she thought about Seonghwa, there’s nothing in earth she craved more than him hugging her right at that moment. When she opened her eyes again she hoped to suddenly see Seonghwa in front of her with his usual warm smile that made her feel safe, but instead she was met by a big smirk belonging to the person she didn’t want to see ever again.
“Wanna go to mine?”, he asked with a smirk which made her feel sick, so she quickly looked away and shook her head. “I’m tired to be honest, I just wanna go home…”, “No need to be shy baby-girl, c’mon I know you want me just as much as I want you…”, he said while stepping a little closer to her, she just looked up at him with a confused expression, he has to be joking.
“No.”, she said suddenly with a frown as she took a step back. “I want to go home.”, she said, this time a little louder and with much more determination in her voice, she was done with his bullshit. Hongjoong suddenly stopped his movements and looked at her with an offended frown while crossing his arms over his chest. “Then why the fuck did you agree to go out with me?”, he asked like he was the one being played here, he wasn’t really mad or anything, after all he still had morals and knew about consent so he wouldn’t push her to anything she wouldn’t want but he was a tiny bit pissed, his dates normally ended in sex and this didn’t seem like it would so he was obviously upset. “Because I thought this was going to be a normal date? I didn’t come here with the intention to-“, she became louder and louder as she spoke but interrupted herself in the middle of her sentence once she noticed the stares she received, she just sighed loudly and felt how her hands were already trembling due to the anger she was feeling inside, she was frustrated and mad, this date went horribly wrong and his entitlement to actually feel the right to be offended just because she wouldn’t want to sleep with him even though SHE was the one that should be offended because he expected her to sleep with him after this disaster of a date made her feel like she could start crying any second.
“You’re so dramatic to be honest, like take that stick out of your ass and just have some fun.”, he replied with an eyeroll in the same volume as her which only made her more furious. She breathed in shakily and wanted to reply something, she wanted to finally speak her mind and tell him how much of an asshole he was and how he should fuck himself and never talk to her again but he interrupted her by speaking up once again.
“You know what? With that attitude no one’s going to fuck you anyways.”, he said a little calmer and even proudly which only made her want to smack him right then and there. “Listen-“ “No, I don’t care.”, he just interrupted here like that with an arrogant smile on his face and a little shrug as he turned around and walked away, not even caring about what she had to say.
She pressed her lips together as he did that and was really close to following him and stopping him, making him listen to her but she was tired of this and she knew that she would probably make a scene if she would properly get into that discussion. She always was a pretty emotional person when it came to stuff like that, once she got really mad her body would react extremely sensitive to it, she would start trembling and crying due to the frustration she’d feel inside and she wouldn’t be able to form a proper sentence because of all of that, a reason why she could probably never become a lawyer, she took things like that to heart and couldn’t deal with injustice. She followed Hongjoong with her eyes as the boy made his way to his car, looking like nothing had happened, he wasn’t affected by the situation at all. She once again took deep breaths and closed her eyes while doing so, she calmed herself down a little and the anger was replaced by disappointment and sadness.
She had been on many dates and they never ended the way she wanted them to end, she just wanted to find some love, someone that would make her feel happy and warm, but all she got was cold conversations and empty promises. She began wondering if maybe she was the reason why nothing worked out, maybe she was too boring for people to actually care about her, maybe she wasn’t pretty enough? Maybe she really had a stick up her ass?
She opened her eyes after a few seconds once she felt raindrops on her head, she looked up and felt the rain hitting her face ‘Wow, now that’s the last thing I needed’, she thought to herself as she chuckled bitterly and made her way to the other side of the street where the bus station was only to realize that the next bus would arrive in around 30 minutes depending on the traffic. She pressed her lips together once again and it took her all of her self-control to not just hit her fist against the timetable, instead she just took her phone out and dialed Seonghwa’s number, her lips already trembling even before he picked up the phone.
The phone rang a few times and she leaned against the glass cabin next to her with tears in her eyes, if he didn’t pick up the phone she would probably have a mental breakdown right then and there next to some teenage boys who were fighting about some stupid game. She closed her eyes and was about to hang up when he suddenly heard the only voice she wanted to hear in that moment.
“I’m sorry, my phone was charging, what’s up?”, she heard, and a small smile creeped up her face while the tears finally stared streaming down her face, she sobbed quietly and wasn’t even able to bring out a single word.
“Y/N? Are you okay? Where are you?”, at that she only started crying harder. His soft words and worried tone only made her realize how much she needed him, the only thing she wanted was being hugged by him and being told that everything was going to be okay. The boys next to her abruptly stopped fighting as they saw her basically bawling her eyes out while she was on her phone, they looked at each other in confusion, unsure of what to do.
“C-Can you please pick me up? I’m at the place you dropped me off.”, she replied in between sobs with a shaky voice while trying to dry the tears on her face which was basically an impossible task since the tears wouldn’t stop falling.
“Yes, of course, don’t move one inch, I’ll be there in a second, I’ll hurry, please don’t cry, I got you, okay?”, she chuckled lightly as she basically heard how he was getting dressed while still holding his phone to his ear, his words held so much warmth and that made her feel a little better, she nodded her head slightly before realizing that he doesn’t see her.
“Okay…”, she replied quietly as she slowly hung up the phone and took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down for what felt like the 100th time today. She looked to her side confusedly as she felt someone softly poke her on her arm. She smiled softly as one of the teenage boys handed her a tissue with a comforting and shy smile.
“Men ain’t shit.”, he said to which his friends only agreeingly nodded which made her chuckle softly and nod her head while she dried up her tears.
“Men ain’t shit…”, she replied with a sigh as she closed her eyes while steal leaning against the glass cabin, waiting for Seonghwa to pick her up and maybe turn this awful night in a somewhat okay night. She opened up her eyes after a few minutes and looked up only to spot Seonghwa’s car finally, she walked towards the car and waved at the teenage boys who all smiled at her which kind of already made her feel better. Once she saw Seonghwa sitting in the car she forgot everything for a second. He was looking at her with a worried expression through the window, waiting for her to get inside the parked car. She breathed in deeply and already felt lighter since she had let out the tears before and entered the car. She looked extremely exhausted, her make up was smudged and her mascara was basically all over her face, her hair was a little messy and her hands were basically freezing, he was a mess but Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile softly.
“Go on, say it.”, she said as she finally sat down and fastened her seatbelt. Seonghwa sighed slightly as he softly brushed her hair out of her face, it was a simple gesture but it held so much affection and warmth that it nearly made her tear up again.
“I told you he’s an asshole.”, he said softly as he took his hand away and instead softly grabbed both of her hands as he noticed that they were red due to the coldness.
“You’re freezing oh my god.”, he exclaimed as he warmed up her hands with his own warm ones which slightly made her blush and her heart beat a little faster, it was pretty dark in the car but the light from outside lit up the place a little so she was able to properly look at his beautiful face. He wasn’t looking at her but was focused on warming her up properly which made her smile softly, the small concerned frown on his face and the way his hands were rubbing against hers to create some friction instantly made her feel warm inside. She must have been staring at him pretty intensively since he looked up after a while directly into her eyes only to feel his own heart drop slightly, her eyes held so much affection and love but also sadness and frustration at the same time. They were staring at each other for what felt like hours until he noticed that he had completely stopped warming up her hands, the tension in the air made it hard for them to properly breathe but they both started laughing softly as the tension was interrupted by the sudden sounds of her stomach.
“I guess you’re hungry?”, he asked softly as he hesitatingly let go of her hands to grab the steering wheel in front of him, she felt disappointment fill up her body as she felt the cold air hitting her hands again but she just nodded her head softly, she was basically starving. Once Seonghwa started the car and started driving she looked into the mirror of her phone and nearly had a heart attack as she saw what she looked like.
“I look like I’m straight out of a horror movie, oh god.”, she whispered as she tried to clean up her face with the wipes she found in his car, Seonghwa just chuckled softly as he heard her words and shrugged.
“I like horror movies.”, he simply replied which made her roll her eyes, not being able to hold back a small smile that was being formed on her lips. His presence alone made her feel lighter and not as sad as before, she was still a little frustrated, but she tried not to think about the failed dates and the humiliation too much, she just wanted to eat something and go home into her warm bed and sleep for the next 24 hours just to get some proper rest. After she cleaned up her face as much as possible with the wipes she leaned back and closed her eyes, extremely exhausted from the whole day.
“What do you want to eat?”, Seonghwa asked softly which made her sigh slightly.
“Anything but please no McDonalds.”, she replied with a pout which made him smile softly.
“No McDonalds.”, he quietly said as he spotted a burger king with a drive through. He didn’t expect her to be in the mood to actually get out of the car back into a place which would be filled up with annoying, loud people so he decided to get into the pretty long line, he looked at her with an apologetic smile as he saw that they’d probably have to wait for a long time.
“Ah, sorry, the line is pretty long, if you don’t want to wait we could go somewhere else…”, he said as he saw how slowly the cars were moving but she just shook her head exhaustedly.
“I don’t mind it… at least I’m with you…”, she replied softly as she opened her eyes and looked at him. He blushed slightly at that and was glad that it was pretty dark in the car which meant that she wouldn’t be able to spot his red cheeks. Seonghwa is a pretty confident person who doesn’t blush too easily but the girl next to him had a big impact on him. Her smile could light up any room and her tears could turn him into the most caring person ever. When he heard her little sobs and broken voice over the phone his heart nearly broke, he just couldn’t handle her being sad which was why he immediately had gotten dressed and into his car, not even caring about turning off the tv or the lights, he hurried so he could be there for her like she always was there for him. They always got each other’s back.
“So… Hongjoong…”, he started carefully which only made her pout even more, he felt a smile creeping up his face as he saw the adorable expression on her face.
“I hate him, and you were right, I don’t even wanna talk about him, ever.”, she replied as she crossed her arms over her chest and pressed her lips together, her pout disappearing and being replaced with an angry expression which only made her seem even more adorable but he knew that he shouldn’t say that since it would probably only make her even more upset. He was just so soft for her which meant that whatever she’d do he’d be head over heals for her. He nodded his head understandingly, obviously not wanting to push her to talk about something she didn’t want to talk about, but he knew her so it was no surprise to him when she suddenly spoke up after a few seconds and started ranting about the date, leaving in every detail. He listened carefully and nodded his head to show that he was listening, his grip around the steering wheel got tighter the closer she got to the end of the date, he knew it was a mistake going out with him but he didn’t expect him to be that much of an asshole. He just shook his head in disbelief when she started talking about their last discussion, he had to interrupt her though since he had to ask her what she wanted to order.
“I don’t care… anything but no seafood.”, she said with a sigh which only made him nod, he quickly ordered something for her and just shook his head as he saw that she was taking out her wallet to hand him her card.
“There’s no way that I’ll let you pay, dumbass.”, he said as he took out his own car and paid for her food which made her pout lightly.
“Hongjoong didn’t even pay for his own food, I had to pay for this ungrateful asshole… he didn’t even say thank you!”, she exclaimed desperately which only made him shake his head.
“You deserve better, you really do, I don’t know why you even give people like him a chance…”, he said while he was waiting for the workers to hand him his order, she just shrugged as she looked out of the window, her expression immediately changed again at his words, he had said those things millions of times ‘you deserve better’ ‘you’re out of their league’, but she always just stayed silent, what was she supposed to say? That she literally gave everyone that was somehow decent a chance because she finally wanted to get over her crush on him? That she concluded that no one will ever make her feel like he did?
She was desperate, once again really close to the point of exploding and just blurting out the things she thought, but she just couldn’t, her heart felt heavy and it would only feel even heavier if she’d confess her crush to her best friend in a parking lot at Burger king around 10 pm only to be rejected and left for good, the thought of seeing his disgusted or confused expression on his face once she’d tell him how she really felt made her heart drop slightly and her hands started trembling, she really didn’t want to destroy their friendship just because she had those dumb feelings for him, she couldn’t risk that, she needs him, she really does.
They were sitting like that in silence until the food finally came and he handed it to her, he quickly said thank you and goodbye to the overworked guy at the window and then parked his car so she could eat in peace. The hunger she had felt before suddenly seemed gone and was replaced by the sadness and disappointment of the realization that she probably could never be with the person she loved the most.
“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore… can you please drive me home?”, she said with a quiet voice filled with sadness which once again made his heart drop slightly as he looked at her, she wasn’t looking at him but was just avoiding eye contact, knowing very well that once she’d look into his eyes she’d start crying and she really didn’t want to be that drama queen. Seonghwa just bit his lip and shook his head.
“Look… I’m so sorry that you’re feeling sad, and I’m sorry that he treated you like that, but I can’t just drive you home, knowing that you’ll continue being sad…”, he replied quietly which made her lip tremble slightly, she hated herself for being affected by his words this much once again.
“I’ll just bring the mood down…”, Seonghwa just shook his head and grabbed her hand comfortingly.
“And I’ll be there to bring the mood up again.”, she bit her lip as she felt his hand grabbing hers softly, she didn’t take her hand away, but she breathed in shakily as she looked around, anywhere but into his eyes.
“We could go get some snacks… watch some Netflix… you know, fun things.”, he said softly as he traced his thumb over her skin softly, drawing patterns into her soft skin. He really just wanted to see her smile again, once he saw some tears rolling down her face he let go of her hand and brought it up to her face, softly drying the tears. He smiled softly as she just nodded her head and took some wipes.
“I really don’t know why you even keep up with my bullshit…”, she said with a shaky voice which made him sigh slightly.
“That’s what friends are there for, right?”, at that she started eating her burger at a rapid tempo which only made him chuckle softly.
“You really are hungry huh?”, she didn’t even say anything as she continued eating, trying to fill herself up with the food in the bag, she cringed a little as she thought about how she was trying to fill up the emptiness in her heart, she never really liked those fake deep posts she had read numerous times on Instagram but if the shoe fits, it fits. Once she was done with her food she was about to get out of the car to throw away the trash but Seonghwa quickly opened his own door and took her things to throw them away for her which made her smile slightly, she didn’t know whether it was a good idea to go to him or not but his pure existence made her feel at least a little better so she just gave in and didn’t fight against the fact that he was driving into the direction of his own apartment once he was in the car again. There was a little supermarket close to his apartment where he parked the car and got out fast enough to be on her side of the car to open the door for her like she was some kind of celebrity. She giggled while shaking her head as she got out of the car and lightly bowed.
“Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome ma’am.”, he replied with a wink which made her roll her eyes lovingly as she made her way to the entrance of the store where she grabbed a basket.
“I thought about getting chocolate and ice cream, it’s what the teenagers in those bad American movies eat when they need comfort.”, Seonghwa said as he appeared next to her and looked down at her to see if she’d agree with his decision to which she only replied with a small frown.
“The movies aren’t that bad… but chocolate and ice cream sound nice.”, Seonghwa chuckled at that and sighed a little.
“I won’t fight against that since your date went horribly wrong but remind me of this discussion tomorrow, I have a lot to say about this.”, he said which made her smile slightly and nod her head.
“Can we get mint chocolate ice cream?”, she asked while looking up to him with big eyes. She could ask him if she could sell his lungs for some concert tickets with that look on her face and he’d say yes, he really was whipped so he just nodded his head a little taken back.
“Sure, whatever you want…”, he replied a little shy which made her smile brightly and go up to the ice cream section of the store where she picked up the mint chocolate and vanilla flavored ice cream since they were her favorites. She excitedly put them into the basket while Seonghwa was just watching her with a small smile. She then proceeded to walk towards the snack section of the store while he just followed her, always keeping an eye on her, he didn’t even care to look for the snacks or to chose something himself, seeing her getting excited over spotting her favorite candy basically made his heart melt and he just nodded to every suggestion of hers, as long as she was happy, he was happy too.
“Okay, I think that’s enough! Why don’t you make a suggestion?”, she asked happily as she looked at him, her face slightly dropped as she spotted the loving and warm expression on his face which immediately made her heart jump a little. He quickly looked away a little embarrassed as he noticed how he was staring at her and just shook his head quickly.
“Oh no it’s okay, I like what you’ve chosen, I guess you have good taste.”, he quickly said, stumbling a little over his words which made her smile slightly and tilt her head a little.
“My taste in candy is amazing, my taste in men is trash.”, she replied with a sigh as she made her way to the check out with him next to her, trying to not interpret too much into the stare she had just received from him, she often had caught him staring at her like that but she never dared to think too much about it, after all his words made it clear that he only saw her as a friend.
She once again was about to take out her wallet, but he just sighed exaggeratingly and pushed her hand with the card softly away, so he could pay himself.
“Seonghwa that’s not fair, you already paid for the food and now for the snacks too?”, she exclaimed with a pout which only made him smile brightly and pat her head softly.
“Let me spoil you a little.”, he simply replied and smiled even brighter as he noticed the slight blush on her face, just like her he didn’t know how to interpret those little things. He noticed that she blushed a lot in his presence and that she also stared at him once in a while but their friendship and love for each other just got to a point where he didn’t know if that was still platonic love he sees in her eyes or actual love, he didn’t want to bring his hopes up though so he didn’t think too much about it even if a small part inside of him told him that there was more than just friendship going on.
After he paid, he helped her put the snacks into the bag only to carry it to the car, ignoring her whines and small protests. Once they were back in the car she felt a lot better, spending time with Seonghwa without thinking too much about every single movement once again made her realize how much she cared about their bond and friendship, he was extremely important to her and she wouldn’t know what to do if she loses him.
“You’re really important to me…”, she said out a sudden while Seonghwa was driving with his eyes fixed on the road. She watched him as his expression suddenly changed from focused to confused and then to a small smile. He quickly locked eyes with her for a second before turning to the road again.
“You’re really important to me too…”, he replied softly which made her smile a little.
“… even though you like mint ice cream.”, he added after a while with a sigh which made her laugh out in disbelief.
“Mint ice cream is superior, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, tasteless fool.”, she exclaimed loudly with an offended look on her face which only made him laugh slightly.
“Excuse me? So if anyone would come up to you and ask you to chose between me or mint ice cream, what would you chose?”, he asked with raised eyebrows. She only sighed loudly as she leaned back and thought for a while.
“That’s way too hard to answer Seonghwa…”, she replied defeated which made him look at her with a hurt expression on his face.
“Wow, I see how it is…”, “As if you wouldn’t trade me for kimchi fried rice!”, “You’re irreplaceable!”, Y/N rolled her eyes at that but couldn’t help it but smile as she looked out of the window. They fell silent again but this time it was a rather pleasant silence which made them both smile brightly. She noticed how the rain has completely stopped and how people were walking around, pulling their coats a little bit closer, she always loved fall and winter even more. Once they arrived at his she sighed a little and put her hands into her pockets, already preparing for the cold wind to hit her harshly. Seonghwa quickly got the bag full of snacks and quickly followed her to his apartment, he struggled a little to take out his keys but once he finally managed to get them out, he quickly opened the door since it was really freezing. He sighed relievedly once they were outside and he smiled slightly as he saw her pouting a little while getting her coat off. Her nose and cheeks were a little red and her hair was messy due to the cold wind and he bit his lip as he looked down at her, she looked endearing.
“What?”, she asked after she got her shoes off and noticed that he still was in his coat and shoes, just standing there and looking at her with those eyes filled with affection.
“You’re adorable.”, he finally said with a sigh as he got his coat off too which only made her heart jump a little. She didn’t expect to get a compliment suddenly, but she also didn’t mind at all, she loved to be praised, especially by him.
“Thank you…”, she replied a little shily as she quickly made her way to his living room with the bag in her hand. She sighed a little as she saw that the lights were already on and the tv was still running, she smiled slightly when she realized that he probably didn’t turn any of those things off because he was hurrying to get to her, the thought of that made her heart swell and she bit her lip as she couldn’t help but smile brightly.
“I’ll just go change quickly… If you want to you can take some of my clothes so it’ll be more comfortable for you.”, he said while standing in the doorframe, carefully watching her, wondering why she was smiling so brightly. She looked at him as he spoke up and nodded slowly as she followed him to his room where he handed her a sweater of his and some trainers which could be tightened by the waist so they wouldn’t just slide down. She made her way to the bathroom where she got changed and exhaled satisfied, the sweater didn’t fit me whatsoever, but I loved how comfortable it was and the way it smelled of Seonghwa. It felt weirdly domestic, but she definitely didn’t mind that at all. After she cleaned her face properly with some water and soap, she made her way out of the bathroom to the living room where Seonghwa was already scrolling through Netflix on his Play-station, he stopped though once he spotted at her. He had often seen her in his shirt and sweaters since she had forgotten her own pajamas multiple times, so it was no rare sight, but it definitely struck him every time.
She just looked tiny in his clothes, the way the sleeves were way too long so they would completely cover her hands, the fact that the sweaters always slid down a little whenever she’d walk, just knowing that she was wearing his clothes made him feel warm inside and he couldn’t help but smile softly at her. He obviously loved seeing her all dressed up, but he definitely preferred this look much more. She noticed his stare obviously, so she quickly looked away before she’d grow too nervous. After a while he just patted the place next to him to indicate that she should take a seat which she immediately did. She sat down next to him, not too close but also not too far from him, their thighs would be touching if either of them moved a little closer and their hands weren’t touching but they could hold each other’s hand if they wanted to.
Once she was sitting next to him he quickly looked back to the tv and continued scrolling, he would never admit it but having her this close to him always made him grow a little nervous, he was scared that if he’d keep on staring at her he’d be tempted just fuck it all and kiss her right then and there, but he couldn’t just do that, that would definitely cross a line but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about kissing her like 89% of the time he was with her, he just wanted to press his lips on hers and kiss her breathless, he wanted to be the reason she’d blush after shily letting out those little innocent sounds, he wanted to place his hands on her soft skin and keep her there where he wanted her, he was completely distracted by his thoughts which resolved into him not noticing how she was staring at him with the same thoughts on her mind.
She blushed slightly as she scanned his face carefully with her eyes, she knows his face by heart, she knows every mole and every small imperfection, and she loves it all. She had often shyly complimented him on his amazing jawline and facial structures, she could basically write books about his beauty, she never was a fan of poetry but him being there made her want to write down her feelings for him in a dramatic but beautiful way, he really brought out stuff in her she never knew she had.
“What do you wanna watch?”, he suddenly asked after a while, breaking the silence and tension in the room, she breathed in deeply after she noticed that she has held her breath the whole entire time while staring at him, leaving her a little breathless.
“Uh… I don’t mind anything… you can choose…”, she replied a little shakily, which made her smile a little. They quickly decided on watching something lighthearted which was why they ended up watching Brooklyn99, or well, they didn’t really watch it, they were way too focused on not staring at each other. They missed basically all the jokes and were dead silent, not even properly noticing whenever a new episode would start. Seonghwa eventually noticed that she was just as distracted as he was, he noticed how she had a slight blush on her face and hos she was biting her lip over and over again, causing him to stare at her lips for some seconds before turning his gaze back to the tv, what was she thinking about? Was she thinking about him? Seonghwa bit his lip as an idea popped up in his head, his heart started beating a little faster only at the thought of it. He didn’t know if he should actually risk it and do it? He didn’t want it to suddenly turn awkward between them.
The tension in the living room was basically suffocating them, they often had this weird tension between them, normally it would be Seonghwa who would make a dumb comment or ask something to break this tension but he didn’t do that this time, this time it should be different, which was why he very slowly lifted his hand and placed it on her thigh very softly, planning on pulling his hand away the second she’d seem uncomfortable, but once he noticed that she didn’t say or do anything that would tell him to stop what he was doing he rested his hand on her thigh completely and breathed out a little shakily.
She obviously noticed his hand on her thigh and held her breath once again, she stared at his hand for a few seconds, her skin was tingly and her heart was racing. She felt like if she’d move even the tiniest bit the tension would be gone and so would the hand on thigh, and she didn’t want his hand to move away from there which was why she froze, she didn’t know what to do or say, she just sat there and didn’t dare to look at him, especially after she felt how he stared at her after a while, this time he didn’t side-eye her like before, he turned his head towards her and looked down at her, his heart just beating as fast as hers. He then took his hand off her thigh only to softly grab her chin, forcing her to finally look up into his eyes. They both expected the tension to be gone after their eyes finally met, they expected to burst out in laughter and just turn back to the series, acting like nothing had happened, but none of that happened, they stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like hours when Seonghwa suddenly leaned in a little, testing out how close he can get before she’d stop him, but she didn’t, she just kept on staring at him, only breaking eye contact whenever she’d look at his plump and inviting lips.
She breathed out shakily once their lips were only inches apart, they still both expected the other to break the silence, but the only thing that could be heard in the room was the tv playing quietly in the background and their hard breathing. Seonghwa’s hand slowly moved from her chin to her waist very slowly, leaving goosebumps all over her body. He was staring shamelessly at her lips now, not even thinking about backing up or saying anything that could break the tension, he moved a little closer and she noticed how his eyes were basically black at his point, staring at her in a way she has never seen before but it made her press her legs together, it took her all of her self-control to net let out a whine that was creeping up her throat. The fact that their lips didn’t even touch but he still had that impact on her made her blush slightly. Seonghwa breathed out once again slowly. ‘fuck it’, he just thought to himself as he finally pressed his lips against hers.
Once he felt her soft lips he sighed quietly into the kiss, his grip around her waist got a little tighter and his heart was racing now, his lips were burning. He moved his lips against hers and was about to pull back once he noticed that she didn’t kiss him back, his heart dropped at the sudden realization and he pulled away breathlessly, staring at her with wide eyes.
His lips were even plumper than before and his heart still racing, his mind was going crazy and he was about to apologize when she suddenly pressed her lips against his, much harsher than he did. She whined softly as their lips touched again and found herself sitting on his lap facing him and not breaking the kiss for a second. Her hands found their way to his hair, pulling on it softly while his hands tightened around her waist. The harsh kiss turned into a passionate one, finally letting out all of the emotions they were feeling, happiness, anger, madness and love. They were drowning in each other, desperately trying to make the other one understand how much they wanted the other. The passionate kiss turned into a soft kiss before they completely parted breathlessly leaning their foreheads against each other. Neither of them opened their eyes, nor did they say anything, too scared they might say something wrong, too scared of what was about to come. They stayed like that for some seconds before he opened his eyes slowly and brought up his hands to her face, cupping it softly which caused her eyes to fall open too, looking at him, unsure of what would happen next, but once she saw the love and comfort in his eyes she smiled softly and breathed out shakily.
“You’re even prettier up close…”, he whispered with a smile on his face which made her giggle softly and shake her head slowly, her hands were now around his neck, keeping him close.
“You too…”, she replied shakily which made him smile even brighter. They both once again closed their eyes, trying to calm their still racing hearts down. The tension in the room was now replaced by pure warmth. They were both blushing slightly and the smile never left their faces, they wanted to live in that moment, they wanted to bottle up this feeling of pure bliss and keep it in their pockets for bad days, they wanted each other in a way they couldn’t put into words. After a while he softly pushed her off his lap which resulted in a big pout forming on her plump, red lips to which he just replied with a soft smile and kiss on the cheek.
He stood up and grabbed her hand softly, indicating her to follow him. She wasn’t even able to stand properly; her knees were weak as she shakily followed him to his bedroom after he quickly turned off the tv and the lights. They both laid down facing each other. She shyly looked up into his eyes only to see that he was already staring at her with an amount of affection and love which once again made her blush, he wasn’t holding back this time, he didn’t look away but continued to stare at her the way he has been secretly staring at her the whole entire time
He lifted his hand up to her face and softly caressed her blushed cheek, the little lamp on his bedside table lighting up the room just enough for him to notice her sparkly eyes and blushed cheeks. She sighed softly as she closed her eyes, enjoying the affectionate touches, smiling brightly once she felt him come a little closer.
“If you continue staring at me like that, I’ll have to kiss you again…”, she whispered with her eyes still closed but still feeling his stare on her. He chuckled softly as he leaned in only to stop inches away from her lips.
“Is that a promise?”, he asked which made her smile even more, she placed her hand on his face softly, mimicking his action, softly caressing the skin under her fingers, now staring into his eyes too, the nodded softly as she closed the distance and kissed him softly, their lips were barely touching but their hearts started racing at the same speed as before in the living room. Their lips were lazily moving against each other while his hand found its way back to her waist once again, her hand still on his cheek. She smiled into the kiss and distanced herself a little as she breathed in shakily.
“I could definitely get used to this…”, she whispered which made him nod slowly, not believing that this was actually happening.
“Remember… back then at summer camp? Remember how Yeosang didn’t even dare to look at you after you guys kissed?”, he suddenly asked softly to which she just replied with hum.
“I guess my kissing skills weren’t good enough…”, “Actually… I was just extremely jealous, so I stared at him with a death glare until he didn’t even dare to think about you…”, “Oh that’s why he always ran away whenever I’d approach him!”, they both started giggling at the memory and her heart only  swell when she thought about how they have felt the same way for ages.
“Remember that one time you were on a date and I called you to tell you that I was extremely sick and needed your help? I wasn’t actually sick at all…”, he looked at her with big eyes but started laughing at the thought of that as he nodded his head knowingly.
“You’re a great actress… and jealous, I think I should keep that in mind, huh?”, he said softly while drawing patterns into her skin which only made her smile and nod.
“If you even dare to think about any other girl than me, I will rip your head off.”, she replied in an innocent and soft voice which made him laugh quietly and nod his head.
“You’re small, you can’t even reach my neck…”, he replied with a teasing smile which only caused her to pout slightly and press a small kiss on his lips which made his heart jump slightly.
“I can still destroy your ankles…”
“Would you at least kiss me afterwards to make me feel better?”
“Hell yes.”
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Humans are Space Orcs, “Survival.”
I had a lot of fun writing this one. Honestly being inside his head is so much fun, and I hope you all like it  :). Hope it makes you laugh today. 
So, I survived….
Surprise!
Not sure how that is going to turn out for me, and as I wake up lying back down in the sand and my right hand chilled from the cool inland ocean, I begin to realize that the awful ordeal I had gone through wasn’t just a dream. At first it felt like it, warm sand below my back and cool water on my fingertips. Somewhere birds are chirping, and I lay there for a while simply soaking in heaven, that is until I hear the secondary explosion as one the aux engines which  jolts me upright sitting there covered in sand, my clothes singed, my arms aching from minor burns…. Completely alone.
Looking around I realize that this is not in fact earth, those are not, in fact birds, and I am not, in fact dead and being shown to heaven, but in fact much of the opposite. This is not earth, those look like tiny dinosaurs, and this is honestly, probably hell.
I take a minute to get my bearings before slowly crawling my way to my feet stumbling upright. The prosthetic takes most of the weight as I limp up the beach and back towards the wreckage of the command deck. I don’t expect to get much out of it considering that the entire thing is on fucking fire, but give me a bit of a break, less than a day ago I had been plunging towards a blakhole (or what I thought was a black hole that clearly turned out to not be) sure that I was going to die. In a way I was just a little pissed off. Don’t get me wrong, its not because I WANTED to die, I am actually one of the few humans on the face of the galaxy who enjoys living, but simply because I had accepted the fact that I was going to die. I had made peace with it, I had expected it, but instead I had been thrown into one of the worst warp experiences of my life, rattled around inside the command deck and then crash landed spectacularly onto an unknown planet.
I mean, it didn’t look like any place I Had ever seen before. Sure the sand and the ocean were almost natural, but tall, skinny, thousand foot trees certainly weren't, and neither were  the large shelled crustaceans shambling up the beach .
I sighed and sat down in the sand with a soft plop watching as fire continued to smolder at the wreckage of my ship. It was only now that I realized my shoes were  gone, and I could  feel the sand between my toes. 
Then the slight hissing hits me, and I turn to look down at my arm where a glint of bright silver catches my attention.
The iron eye suit.
I hadn’t had time to take it off.
I flexed my fingers watching the mid morning light run up and down the metal.
Ok, that was interesting.
Of course my dumbass had managed to take off the jetpack at some point….. shit.
I flopped back in the sand staring up at the sky. It was all coming back to me now, the entire ordeal from start to finish. The fight with the Kree, the space battle --that was arguably pretty fucking awesome…. Eat your heart out kirk-- and finally my destruction of the ship and my journey to the sort of blackish but not really, hole. 
It occured to me: Everyone thought I was dead.
That stopped my musings for a second. What would happen? They wouldn’t look for me…. Would they? Then again UNSC policy held that no man was considered KIA until there was a body. I would be pronounced missing in action though assumed dead.
Someone else would be given command, my ship would have to be repaired, and meanwhile the crew would be disbanded or sent on leave.
Katie, maverick, Ramirez, Krill, Conn, Narobi, Cannon…. They all thought I was dead.
Waffles?
Fuck… thinking about her made me want to cry. Like I am going to be honest here guys, when a dog dies in a movie or when a dog is sad in a movie because their human dies, I don’t give a shit about the human, but I will cry. I will cry like a weenie because the dog is sad. 
Like when all three of your brothers are sitting on your right hand side, and you have this magic ability to be water falling out of one eye while the other is dry  to save face with  your manhood kind of cry, no? Is that just me 
Then my family, my father, my mother, my brothers. What would this do to them? They'd be devastated sure… Imagining my mother hearing about my untimely death was heartbreaking, and I was worried more than ever about Thoams. His quiet struggle with heroin addiction, and his recent one year sobriety was a big step for him…. Would my death mean setting him back? Was I that important to him that something might happen? He never dealt with stress well, so what was going to happen.
And… Sunny?
I had saved her life, yes but what had I done to her in the process?  I had made her watch me die, unable to do anything. I had made her helpless, a victim of circumstance: something I knew she would never forgive herself for. I may have saved her life but…. I possibly ruined her in the process.
It's a good thing my brothers weren’t here because I wasn’t going to be able to do the one eye waterfall trick. This time it was going to be both eyes…. Still mad that that screwdriver hadn’t ruined my tear ducts too, I could have benefited from that.
I’d say I took about five six minutes to myself to be a pathetic bitch lying there in the sand feeling sorry for myself, and then I wiped my eyes manned up and got to my feet.
Alright.
I looked around at the open planet and the smouldering wreckage of my once beautiful ship. There was only one option here. I had to find a way out, or at least a way to survive, so maybe one day someone might find me somehow…. Yeah yeah yeah I get it is unfounded optimism and it is totally not going to happen, but let a man dream a little.
I was going to have to channel the spirit of one of my childhood idols.
Mark Watney 
You know from that book about the guy who gets stuck on mars by himself for a year, the one that was made into a pretty good movie with Matt Damon. 
I liked both the book and the movie though they diverge a little towards the end:you know, because hollywood.
There are a couple of problems with this plan of course…. Number one being that I am not a super smart engineer botanist. I am in fact, a fighter pilot, and a raging idiot. 
I mean granted I did go to that pilot training school where they drop you out into the forest for a month and tell you good luck, that sucked shit, so it's not like I am completely helpless but still.
However, luckily for me, unlike Mark, I don’t have to worry about air, or water. Granted I have to worry about food, but in a different way. I don’t know what here would be edible to humans, so I am going to have to read carefully. THere is also the issue of clean water which Mark never had to worry about, I do.
YEah, I get it, our circumstances are very different, but I think what I want to channel most about him is his attitude, nihilistically optimistic. 
I am going to survive this.
I look up at the sky watching as the planet’s rings glow dimly overhead through the blue atmospheric haze.
First thing was first, water, food and a weapon.
Fun fact about my model of ship:It is already ready for a scenario like this and has emergency packs stored under every seat of the bridge. Of course the problem there being the bridge is now on fire.
I walk over to the ocean and cut strips of my uniform to tie around my hands. I know it won’t give me much, ut it is better than nothing. Then I dunk myself in the water. It’s cold and causes me to shiver, but the air around me is warm, so I am not so worried.
I turn and head back towards the ship keeping a distance from the larger fires and heading towards the more smouldering ones. I don’t strike much luck to begin with, but eventually I manage to haul out one emergency pack from under one of the crew chairs. MY hands get a bit singed in the process, and the hot metal causes me to yowl like an angry cat and drop the case to the ground, but at least I have something.
I wait or it to cool off for a few minutes before dragging it back up the beach and sitting down to open.
Jackpot!
I have a canteen (with purifier) one of those filtration straws, to make the inland ocean my cup, and a handy little device that analyses organic material and tells you if it's edible or not.
I love living in the future 
I also had emergency blankets, fire starting material, a knife, a flair gun, a radio. This was also along with a couple of other odds and ends like a compass, paracord,  first aid kit, inflatable life raft, a multi-tool , monocular, and a box of nails.
The first aid kit included, bandages, antibiotic ointment, antibiotics of the general: for whatever stabs or infects you variety, painkillers, a turnakit, sewing needle and thread, staple gun: sort of, gauze anti-inflammatories, and fuck yes, a razon a toothbrush and some toothpaste. 
If i ever got off this planet and back home I was to kiss whoever made this case, man woman does not mater, they are getting a kiss, cheek if they happen to be married of course, but if they really insist I um up for full mouth contact on the person who saved my life.
All jesting aside, this was good, and I first went to go get a drink of water.
HYdrations is important kiddos.
Next I had to tend to my injuries, minor burns and scrapes, bruises that I could do nothing about. Then it was time for a little shelter, which i erected with great ease between a couple of the strange tall trees, using torn up ferns to provide bedding on the inside and a canopy overhead.
I was feeling pretty badass right now, survivor style, though lets be honest, I was kind of lame since I had so much help from the magic box of wonderful mysticalities.
You know between this gox of medicine and the arc of the covenant, I would definitely pick this box first, for sure.
Took me a good day or two to get settled, and I’ll admit it wasn’t easy.
Gathering food was fine, I found some berries and fruits off of nearby plants, a couple of roots that were ok to eat, and even some of the crustaceans were palatable once I cooked them, using my fire pit and laying them out over a slab of discarded ship metal.
But there were a couple things I failed to think about.
A couple of things being 
1# there is no fucking TP on this planet, also I had to dig a hole for fear of accidentally giving myself cholera or some nasty thing on accident by contaminating a water supply.
2# bed uncomfortable 
3# no sunscreen 
4# After a couple days your really start to smell like ass, now hold on for a minute there, I am completely in the habit of washing my ass,I promise, but I am telling you unwashed human just  smells like ass, no way around it, greasy nasty sweaty stank.
The clothes don’t help obviously, and I found a way to wash the clothes by rubbing them in the sand and using some sweet smelling leaves.
OF course you know the problem with all that, right?
Naked.
While on laundry day I am completely nude out in the sun on a tropical planet. If someone were to go flying overhead, they would see more than they bargained for, and way more than they wanted  as my pasty white ass flapped around in the breeze as they drove by.
A change of clothes was in order, so I spent the day, while my clothes were being washed, sitting on the sidelines using plant material, scraps and thread to pull together a rudimentary grass skirt/ loincloth of sorts
Now don’t think it didn’t cross my mind everyone.
I half expected god to descend from the sky and ask me what I was doing.
This whole covering your junk with leaves thing seems to be a theme for people named Adam  
And yes that was a biblical reference, I am in fact named after the first man, so this is a fitting bonding moment for me and my namesake.
The biggest issue of course is when everything slows down, late at night as I am trying to fall asleep, and I realize that…. I may be stuck here forever.
I will grow old and die alone on this island.
And no one will ever know. 
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oyubaat-tapcaf · 3 years
Text
Hatred
Also available on AO3
summary: The young Boba Fett failed his mission and has to tell Vader. Ends up with him getting force choked. characters: Boba Fett, Darth Vader wordcount: 2.632 warnings: canon typical violence, choking, trauma, loss of loved one, pretty intense stuff overall “I might give you another chance, Fett,” the low, robotic voice echoed through the room.The bounty hunter felt his legs give out and he collapsed to the ground, knees first. He held himself upright with one arm, the other one was still clutching at his throat. A pained sound left his lips..” I watched tcw and wondered if Boba ever got choked by darh vader since the dude has some attitude
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Boba Fett watched the light of the sun entering the insides of the imperial star destroyer. The whole room was filled with a red and yellow glow, almost seeming romantic. The shields of the massive destroyer held back the heat that was radiating from the star, though Boba felt it crawling under his armour, in his flightsuit, even under his helmet.
He had failed his mission, he was ashamed. Vader had hired him because he was the best. Fett wasn’t a man to be much intimidated by other people. Vader though was different. Not only the artificial breathing that was echoing in his helmet but his overall appearance made Boba shiver. Vader seemed inhuman, more machine than an actual living thing.
“So you failed,” stated the Dark Lord with his machine-like voice, his back facing the bounty hunter. The hot light of the sun was reflected by the helmet on his head. Unlike Fett’s helmet. The green paint was chipped and far from reflecting anything so beautiful. He wasn’t a man of much glamour.
Fett realised that Vader was waiting for an answer. He took a sharp breath and swallowed the thick knot in his throat.
“They escaped, my Lord. I would be able to track them though but this might take a while.”
Vader could feel just how tense the bounty hunter was. Boba Fett was a skilled man, though, this time he had disappointed him. The Sith could nearly taste the stale taste of Fett's fear. It pleased him. He turned around to face the hunter, who was standing in the middle of the room, rifle in his hands, always ready to attack. Or defend.
“I thought you were the best, Fett.”
Boba felt shivers all over him. He hated himself for failing. He hated himself for how afraid he was. He felt like a child that got scolded by his parents.
“I am,” he answered, his voice surprisingly stable. 
Vader made a few steps in the Mandalorian's direction. With every step, he could feel Fett’s fear and frustration growing stronger. The hunter didn’t move, but he was radiating so much energy. Only Vader knew it though.
“You’re scared.”
Fett twitched at that, only slightly. He felt offended.
“I am not,” the Mandalorian hissed. He gripped his rifle tighter, trying to hold onto it as some kind of support. He didn’t like Sith Lords, at all. They always tend to lash out. Of course, he would never admit his anxiety towards Lord Vader, he hired him.
Suddenly, the energy in the room changed. The air became thick and Boba’s skin felt electric. He didn’t even have the time to blink before he felt a cold, wet grip on his throat cutting off his air supply. He panicked and his hands flew up to clutch at his neck but nothing was there. Only the collar of his flightsuit, as always.
Boba gasped out loud, horrified by what was happening to him. This wasn’t the first time he got choked like this. He remembered, right after he escaped prison in his teenage years, he came across this weird lady on a job on Quarzite. After all of his crew got thrown off the train they were on he was alone with her. She never told him her name but now he was sure that she was a Sith. He remembers the cold, invisible hand on his throat. he was horrified then, just as he was now.
Vader though was much stronger and it wasn’t just the cold fingers clamping down on his windpipe. Vader’s aura was washing over him, cold as ice. He felt the coldness on his whole body, down to the bone. A low humming sound surrounded him and his lungs started to ache. 
“I might give you another chance, Fett,” the low, robotic voice echoed through the room.
The bounty hunter felt his legs give out and he collapsed to the ground, knees first. He held himself upright with one arm, the other one was still clutching at his throat. A pained sound left his lips.
Boba felt his head spinning and his vision began to blur. The red light of the star was mixing with the destroyers artificial lights. His rifle was laying in front of him. His survival instinct was screaming at him to take it and shoot, but Boba knew that this would get him in much more trouble. He tried to suck in more air but the iron grip on his throat didn’t let anything come through. The air that was left in his lungs was spent and if Vader didn’t let go of him soon, he would pass out.
The Sith knew just how much he can make the Mandalorian suffer before really hurting him. He was amused by the sounds that came from the hunter’s mouth. Sadly, he couldn’t see his face but he could just imagine the pained expression on Fett. He knew how the man looked, he had seen his face a thousand times, but not on this man.
Vader let go of Boba and took a small step back.
Fett took a few ragged, painful breaths to get back the much-needed oxygen in his system. Boba tried not to seem too miserable, it wasn’t easy though. He felt like he couldn’t even stand on his own feet anymore. The grip on his throat was gone but the cold shivers didn’t go away and his skin burned as if he was laying in ice water.
“But you better not disappoint me again.”
Boba Fett felt hot rage blossoming in his stomach. It bubbled up to his chest, making his heart rate pick up even more. It made it’s way up into his head. Bobas cheeks grew hot. His tone was filled with venom when he started to speak in a raspy voice:
“...always treating your partners like this?”
The hunter always had issues controlling himself. Anger was the most he felt and he could never find a place for it other than towards other people. He knew that spitting words at Darth Vader like this would get him in much more trouble. But he wanted the trouble. He always sought it. It was who he was. Anger was his fuel for and even if Vader hurt him more, he needed it.
“I can sense so much anger in you, Mandalorian,” the Dark Lord was standing in front of him, Boba was still on the ground, panting.
“You’re glowing just like this star outside. Bubbling with rage.”
Boba glanced upwards at the Sith Lord. His artificial body was terrifying. It made Boba physically ill. He couldn’t picture how a human being can turn into something this horrifying. Just how much flesh was left of him? His robotic arms and legs could snap Boba in half without much effort. People say that Fett himself seemed like a droid sometimes, only because of his armour. But at the end of the day, Boba could take the beskar off and feel his skin, and he was grateful for that. 
Vader stared at the T-Visor of Fett’s helmet as the Mandalorian slowly got up from the ground.
“You know nothing about me,” Boba spat. His rage was free and taking over. He was furious. It pained him just how much Vader had control over him.
“You’re a fool, Mandalorian.”
The Dark Lord’s hand twitched and Boba was hurled through the air, backwards against a wall. A loud clang echoed through the room when beskar hit the durasteel walls.
The air was knocked out of Boba’s lung. His armour’s backplate was digging into his spine, he wasn’t wearing his jetpack. His muscles were paralysed for a few seconds as he was pressed to the wall with such force, he thought his ribs would give out. The feelings of ice on his skin returned. Vader had him in his grip, again. He should’ve shut his mouth. Kriff.
Pain blossomed in his back and spread over his ribs to his chest. Boba cried out and struggled against the force holding him down.
Vader took a few steps in Fett’s direction. He wasn’t trying to hurt him badly, he wanted to teach him a lesson though. Failure wasn’t acceptable. And second chances were rare.
“You are an open book, Fett,” Vader let the Mandalorian slip down the wall. Just a little more…
Boba felt the pressure on his throat again. He panicked. What if Vader had enough of him? He tried to break free from the invisible grip but of course, that wasn’t possible. He never even had a chance to catch his breath now he’s being choked again. His vision turned to a blur immediately and he fell to the ground again.
The Sith watched the hunter struggle, pained little sounds were picked up by the vocoder in his helmet. Vader wanted to see just how far he could go. The fear he felt radiating from the bounty hunter pleased him so much he felt like he couldn’t stop.
“A lonely hunter who tried to fill the void in his chest by killing people. You just want to be like your father. His death pains you every day. You can only deal with this loss by keeping up his memory. Wearing his armour. How pathetic,” Vader knew what this man went through and he knew he could use it to make him his puppet. 
“Boba Fett, the strong Mandalorian bounty hunter, only able to sleep when he is exhausted enough. Because if he lays awake at night, his thoughts run back to his past. To his father who brought him into his world as a son, though you are just a clone, Fett. Nothing more.”
Boba’s vision was black by now. He couldn’t feel his limbs anymore. The only thing he felt was the cold aura of ice on his skin and the strong grip around his throat. His lungs were flaring with pain and all his instincts to survive kicked in, again, stronger than before. He always thought dying was peaceful. But this was far from peaceful.
The Sith Lord’s words were like knives stabbing at his heart and he felt deep sadness rise up in him. He never talked about his father and what had happened to him. Vader was inside of his head, reading him like an open book. He poured salt in Boba’s open wounds and whipped him with every doubt at him that was making him the mess that he was. Vader continued:
“There’s no place for you to be, Boba Fett. No one to call a family. Aurra Sing acted as if she cared, and she left you too just as your father did. I understand her. You’re nothing but a lost and broken wreck. Why would anyone care.” 
Boba tried to cry, to lash out or at least do something. But all he could do was lay on the floor and struggle. Kicking his feet, gripping his throat, pulling at his flight suits collar. He felt tears stinging in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t know where they came from. The choking or the miserable feeling that took over his chest. It was more than just a feeling. it was an ache. It stung his insides and outsides. All this life he tried to avoid it after his father Jango was murdered and now it came all crashing down. Boba had never felt like this before. Cold, he was so cold, alone, dying. 
Darth Vader felt the aching sadness that took over his victim. He had reached his goal. He knew after this, Boba Fett will be a stronger man. Vader had gone through just the same. Loss and pain are what makes you stronger, stronger than everybody else. He felt unconquerable while he was inflicting this type of suffering on other people, this was what made him the Sith that everybody feared.
“Boba, I know how you are feeling. I can see what you went through. I can make you go through this again. Again and again,” Vader realised that if kept choking the hunter like this there wouldn't be much left of him, he was already only hanging by a threat. So he let go of him.
It took Boba a second to realize that Vader let go. On autopilot, his muscles worked and his lungs filled with oxygen. If Vader hadn’t talked to him, Boba would have thought he had already suffocated. He broke into a fit of coughing and gagging while also ringing for air. His face was wet with tears, but gladly, no one could see. He wasn’t able to control himself for a few seconds it all took over him. While still trying to get back the much-needed oxygen he choked on sobs as he tried to scramble away from the danger of Darth Vader. But his muscles didn’t listen to him. He always thought of himself as the hunter, but now he was prey. He was a victim. How pathetic must he look? Laying on the ground, crying, gagging, coughing, not being able to hold himself together. He felt humiliation, sadness, fear, all at once. Vader had brought it all to the surface with just a twitch of his hand. Maker, he was so weak.
“I hate you,” he choked out, his voice barely there, more a whisper due to his ragged windpipe.
“Me? I think you hate yourself more,” Vader felt amused by Fett’s struggle. Everything was going just as he expected it.
Fett slowly calmed down, at least his lungs weren’t screaming at him anymore, his head stopped spinning and his vision was more or less clear again. The stabbing feeling in his chest didn’t go away though and the pinpricks on his skin were still there. He was still cold and his cheeks were heavy with drying tears. Vader wasn’t wrong. Boba hated himself for the anger that was written in his every muscle. He was a broken wreck. Hatred was what defined him and he knew that this wasn’t what he was supposed to be, wanted to be. His father had been gentle. He had been caring and soft. Still a hunter but never burning with such rage. Maybe this was what was holding Boba back. He was blind with anger. 
“Stand up, young man,” Vader ordered. Fett obeyed and got up on his wobbly feet, taking his rifle with him. He stood up to his full height and held the weapon close, just as he was when he entered the room. Though, his fingers trembled and his breathing was different. He had changed. 
“Finish what you started. Show me, that you are the best, Boba Fett.”
Boba stood up straight. His body was still in pain but his mind had cleared. He reminded himself of who he was. The bruises on his back and neck will heal but this memory had carved itself in his brain. He was strong, stronger than his past, and stronger than the hatred that tried to reach him.
He bowed down to the Dark Lord.
“As you wish,” slowly, Boba Fett turned around and left the room. His steps were heavy and confident. He won’t mess up this time.
Vader watched the Mandalorian leave the room with a steady and powerful strut. Boba Fett reminded him of his past. He burnt with the same passion as he himself once did. He wants to be a good soldier, just like Anakin Skywalker once was. Vader turned to the raging lava ball outside of the star destroyer and bathed in the orange light that it radiated. Boba Fett was a product of the Clone Wars, a brother to all the soldiers that once stood next to Skywalker, and yet he was not. He was different.
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infested-tea · 3 years
Text
Monoma x Tetsutetsu Bday One-shot
I missed his birthday! FUCK!!! Ok. Happy late birthday Monoma!
Also some line breaks are off bc Tumblr is being a shithead.
Also, Tetsutetsu is trans bc I headcanon him as that and is mid transition so...
I love this ship so fucking much and it’s great.
Warning for: A bunch of fluff! Little bit of angst Monoma, a mention of abuse,
Also, these two will be dating throughout High School and are now adults, takes place one year after graduation.
Alright let’s go!
Favorite Places
Tetsutetsu let out a sigh. He stared at his beautiful boyfriend lying on his chest. He held him tighter with a hum.
The two spent the night together in Neito’s apartment. The blond said he had been feeling lonelier than normal lately. So, of course Tetsutetsu had to come. It was the manliest thing to do!
The sun outside was beginning to peak its yellow face out from behind the blinds. Tetsutetsu grabbed his phone, he saw a text from Kendo.
Big Fist: Did you forget Monoma’s birthday?
Tetsutetsu felt a rush of panic. It completely slipped his mind! He didn’t even have a gift! Usually, Neito would love being spoiled and would remind him every year so Tetsutetsu could do it. Strangely, he didn’t this year.
Iron Hide: ...Maybe...
Big Fist: You did. Oh lord. Tetsu, you better find something to please him. You know how he gets.
Iron Hide: I know... I promise! I’ll make it the best ever.
Big Fist: You better. He’s a lil’ shit buts he’s out lil’ shit.
Big Fist: He’s been kinda off recently. Has he told you anything?
Iron Hide: No. He told me yesterday to come over. He’s been really distant lately.
Tetsutetsu heard Neito shift with a sigh. Tetsutetsu quickly texted Kendo goodbye before smiling down at the blond on top of him. Neito’s blue eyes fluttered open, being greeted to a toothy grin from a silver-haired iron shark.
“Morning, Neito!” Tetsutetsu greeted cheerily. Neito hummed in response, snuggling closer to Tetsutetsu’s face and kissing his cheek. Tetsutetsu felt his face warm up. He heard the blond chuckle.”Morning.” He smiled sleepily.
Tetsutetsu loved mornings like this. It was the one time Monoma was Neito, instead of just Monoma. He would smile easier and was so much more relaxed. And then they had to go out into public, and Monoma changed. His shell came back.
Now, Monoma had become less of an egotistical, slightly unhinged maniac. But, the facade of “I’m better than you” never truly dropped away fully unless Monoma was comfortable being Neito around you.
And Neito trusted no one more than iron boy. And Tetsutetsu knew that, and promised himself he would never betray it.
Tetsutetsu kissed Neito’s forehead with a smile.”I love you. So much.” He mumbled. Neito’s face went beat red at his words. He pouted.”Unfair...” He protested. Tetsutetsu giggled. He always did that whenever the silver-haired boy said those magic words.
Neito sighed contently.”I love you too.” Tetsutetsu beamed at him. He wrapped his arms around Neito’s smaller frame and cuddled him. Neito felt his face redden as he was buried deeper into his boyfriend’s chest.
Everything was quiet for a moment, Tetsutetsu softly stroking the blond’s soft hair and Neito refusing to show his face. Until, the blond’s hold on his boyfriend’s shirt tightened. Tetsutetsu’s gaze immediately shot to the blond in worry. “What’s wrong?” Tetsutetsu asked.
Neito mumbled something that was muffled by the shirt. Tetsutetsu repeated the question.”I said nothing!” He snapped.
Tetsutetsu went quiet. He looked at Neito with sad puppy-dog eyes.”I’m sorry... I’ve just been worried. You’ve been... off the past couple of days.”
Neito looked away from Tetsutetsu, biting his thumb. Something he usually did when he was overthinking. Tetsutetsu sat up and cradled Neito.”You’ve been weird the past couple of days, baby... It scares me when you don’t tell me what’s bother you. You know I’m always here for you and-“
Tears burst out of Neito eyes. Tetsutetsu instinctively burst forward and trapped Neito in a tight, protective hug.
Neito sobbed for what felt like forever. And all Tetsutetsu could do was rock back and forth gently and run his fingers through the blond’s hair comfortingly.
After a while, Neito’s shoulders stopped heaving and his breathing became steadier. A few tears still slipped down his face, but Tetsutetsu kissed them away.
Neito held onto Tetsutetsu tightly.”My dad...” Was all he mumbled out. Tetsutetsu felt a familiar spark of anger at the mention. He looked at Neito worriedly, inspecting him.”He didn’t lay a hand on you did he? What happened? Are you ok?” Tetsutetsu stopped at the last question. He clicked his tongue.”Well... obviously not. But that’s not the point!” Tetsutetsu grabbed Neito’s chin so he would look at him. The blond’s red, tear-stained face and puffy eyes made his chest ache. And his own dad did this. Though Tetsutetsu himself was all to familiar with parents like Monoma’s.
Neito shook his head. He wiped his eyes furiously. Tetsutetsu knew how much Monoma hated crying. He thought he looked ugly when he did.
Tetsutetsu moved the blond’s hands, taking them in his and rubbing his boyfriends palms with his thumbs. Neito didn’t look at him. He was quietly sobbing at this point. Tetsutetsu laid a kiss on Monoma’s lips.
“Hey. You’re with me today, ok? It’s just me and you. All day.” Tetsutetsu reassured, wrapping his arms gently around Neito in a hug. Neito gripped onto the silver-haired boy’s shirt as if Tetsutetsu would float away if he didn’t.
“So, what happened?” Tetsutetsu asked. Neito felt tears threaten to overflow again. Tetsutetsu rested a hand on his blond hair, shushing him quietly. Neito quieted down to a whimper. He refused to look at his boyfriend, burying his trash face in his shirt.
“My dad... he...” Neito trailed off, his voice went from a sob to pure rage.”When I told him I wouldn’t spend dinner with him for my birthday instead of you, he started yelling at me. Going on about how filthy I was for being a queer and how stupid I was for thinking I was with a man over a women.” His eyes darted to Tetsutetsu, full of desperation.”You are a man! You’re my prince! And I tried to tell him that you are a boy, no matter what a damn peace of paper says, and he kept going on and on about how stupid I was. And how you were fucking pathetic. I couldn’t take it anymore! I couldn’t deal with it.” Neito’s voice became like ice.”I don’t care anymore if he insults me or hits me. But if he brings you into it...” Neito gritted his teeth, looking down, gripping onto Tetsutetsu until his knuckles were white.”I get so mad... I get so fucking angry. And I couldn’t... I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to walk away. Like you guys always tell me to do. But he kept following me and insisting I was an issue, and calling you all this fucked up bullshit. The bastard... I tried defending you, Tetsu! I really did! But it was to much. He cut me... even when I tried to walk away. I tried to run. And I did... and I felt like such a fucking coward...” Neito trailed off, looking away in shame from his boyfriend.
“Neito...” Tetsutetsu pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug, catching the blond off guard.”Don’f listen to that bastard! You’re amazing! And beautiful! And incredible! And the fucking manliest man ever and I love you so much! I’m so sorry you’re dad doesn’t see that!” Tetsutetsu nuzzled into Neito’s neck. He heard Monoma let out a faint chuckle, he felt a hand on his silver hair. Neito sniffed.”Thank you, Tetsu.”
The silver-haired boy kissed Monoma’s forehead.”Of course!” Neito smiled softly to himself. Tetsutetsu chuckled, nuzzling Neito’s face with his own. Neito’s face was beet red.
Tetsutetsu chuckled, laying his forehead against the blond’s.”You’re so cute.” He mumbled. Neito ruffled Tetsutetsu’s hair.”I feel like you’re addressing the wrong person.” He replied smoothly. Tetsutetsu laughed, blushing.”Hey, Neito. Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday today? You always do. You know how much of an airhead I am.” Tetsutetsu muttered.
Neito eyes widened.”Why? It’s my birthday? I completely forgot...” Neito breathed. Tetsutetsu eyes widened in alarm. He tackled Neito in a hug.”You forgot you’re own birthday... That’s how much this was bothering you, huh?” Neito nodded. Tetsutetsu kissed Monoma on the cheek.”Y’know, Imma spoil you today! Even more than I did last year! This is gonna be the best birthday ever for you!” He stated determinedly.
Neito looked at Tetsutetsu shyly with a small smile.”You better.” He mumbled. He kissed his cheek and wrapped his arms around Tetsutetsu’s neck.”Though I don’t know how you can top this.” Neito commented.
Tetsutetsu puffed out his chest.”I am gonna try. A man conquers any challenge full force!” He announced proudly. Neito ruffled his hair and kissed him.”Yeah... just don’t rush in head first this time.” He joked. Tetsutetsu hugged Neito tightly.”I thought you liked that about me...” he pouted. Neito sighed, rolling his eyes.”I do. But I also need to reign in your worst habits.”
Tetsutetsu narrowed his eyes at him. Neito booped his nose.”Come on. Get ready.” Neito walked out of the room, Tetsutetsu watching him go with a blush. Neito often wore booty shorts to bed and... well...
Neito leaned out of the door to see Tetsutetsu staring off into space. He sighed.”Lovely. You need to get ready and stop staring at my ass.” Neito left before his voice came out from the hall.”And remember to brush your hair.”
Tetsutetsu took a couple minutes to get ready. Throw on a binder, a baggy shirt, and sweats. And some basic hygiene. While Neito, took twenty minutes.
But, Tetsutetsu was a patient soul. And he knew Monoma liked putting on make-up in the morning. At least he didn’t take an hour like during pride.
Neito came out, hair done and face pretty. He wore a casual shirt with a black jacket and pants. Tetsutetsu felt himself blush. Frankly, Neito looked great in anything. And this was no exception.
“Alright, where too then? Since you’re spoiling me.” Neito asked innocently. Tetsutetsu thought for a moment. He would say the arcade, because then he could win Monoma a plushie. As it is a tradition for Tetsutetsu to get him one every once in a while. And by that, that means about every few months.
But he needed to go above and beyond. He hit his hand into his fist at an idea. He grabbed Neito by the hand and dragged him out of his apartment and down the road. Tetsutetsu was a hero. And his paycheck had come in for the month.
“W-where are we going?” Neito asked.”You’ll see!” Was all his boyfriend replied, smiling to himself.
Neito followed quietly when the two arrived at a fancy looking restaurant. It was a high tower, glass walls at the top of the building. Normally, you would have to book a reservation. But heroes had special access as long as they paid a little extra.
Neito looked at Tetsutetsu in surprise. Tetsutetsu was probably the polar opposite of Monoma when it came to what they prefer to dates. A date to Tetsutetsu was the gym or just cuddling at home watching a movie. To Neito, it was a fancy dinner and also cuddling at home.
So, for them to come to a place like this, took Neito off guard. Tetsutetsu seemed to realize something.”Oh... I nearly forgot.” He looked at Neito thoughtfully.”You want me to call Aoyama, Kendo, Ojiro, and Shinso over?”
Neito thought for a moment. He hugged Tetsutetsu from behind.”No. I just want you today.” He mumbled. Tetsutetsu hummed. He patted Monoma on the head.”Alright.” He replied warmly.
The two walked in, Tetsutetsu getting a table after a bit of begging. Although neither of them were dressed to fit the scene, maybe Monoma, Tetsutetsu on the other hand...
Although, Monoma didn’t really cared about the stares of the waiters or the customers. Neither were popular heroes. Not yet anyway. But it was only year 1. They had plenty of time.
Tetsutetsu however, was shrinking back underneath the intense, judgemental gaze. Neito never knew why it was judgement that Tetsutetsu was afraid of. He was so laid back and sociable all the time, it was a stark contrast.
Monoma started leading Tetsutetsu around the restaurant. He squeezed his boyfriends hand gently. Tetsutetsu seemed to snap out of his gaze. He walked closer to Monoma who led them to the elevator to the top floor. It was more private up there, and Tetsutetsu paid even more than he would’ve to sit up there.
Because there, you could see the entire city. Even if it was just midday, it was still a pretty sight. And it was Monoma’s favorite spot anywhere. Well... almost. It was a close third. There were two more.
Tetsutetsu and him sat in a booth far away from the few people that were already there. Neito looked at Tetsutetsu gratefully. Under the table, he took Tetsu’s hand and intertwined their fingers. He rested his head on the taller boys shoulders. Tetsutetsu felt himself blush profusely.
The waiter come over and seemed to stare at the two. Neito shot up, but kept his hand on Tetsutetsu’s. The two quickly ordered their food. Tetsutetsu of course, trying to order anything with spinach in it. Monoma getting his own french cuisine.
The two ate, and ended up talking, mostly Tetsutetsu going on about work and other things while Neito ended up complaining about 1A or a comic he read that day.
It was almost dusk by the time they finished. Neito sighed to himself.”Time truly does fly.” He commented, looking as the sky was just beginning to turn pink. Tetsutetsu was stuffing cake in his face. Neito gave him a sideways glance and he paused, fork in mouth. He smiled at Neito and Neito felt himself blush.
“We should get going. It’s getting late.” He mumbled. Tetsutetsu nodded in response.
The two got out to the street, the sun dipping down into the horizon. Tetsutetsu looked at it, than at Neito. The blond’s eyes were fixed to the sky, the colors reflecting in those already beautiful blue orbs.
Tetsutetsu thought again for a moment. Since they took so long eating, well... dinner would probably be skipped. At least for Monoma. He was always so picky when it comes to overeating.
“So, what now?” Neito asked. Tetsutetsu hummed cheerily, leading Neito to the docks. Neito followed quietly and curiously, unknowing of Tetsutetsu’s brilliant plan.
It was a bit of a walk, Neito’s feet started hurting by this point, when they approached a warehouse. Neito looked at it in suspicion.
Tetsutetsu hummed to himself as he opened the door. The two climbed to the roof, where Neito felt his stomach churn.
Neito’s second favorite spot was a double-edged sword. At one hand, he got to watch the sunset. On the other hand...
Monoma looked the ground. It was at least 2 stories below him. He gripped Tetsutetsu’s arm, feeling himself get sick. Tetsutetsu held him tight.”Hey. It’s ok. I won’t let ya fall.” Tetsutetsu soothed. Monoma nodded.
He glanced out from between Tetsutetsu’s arms as he was sat on the taller boy’s lap. He felt his boyfriend’s warmth against his own, soothed by the tight arms. He let out a shaky breath as he leaned back and stared at the sunset.
The sun was peaking its head, dipping it into the sea, lighting the sky aflame with oranges, reds, and yellows all blending together as if a painter took a brush to it themself. Neito closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the sea mixed with Tetsutetsu’s breathing. He snuggled into Tetsu’s chest. He felt Tetsu’s arms wrapped around him tighter, nuzzling into the blond’s hair with a happy sigh.”I love you.” He mumbled.
Monoma suddenly remembered the feelings he had for the past month. The guilt he had for not defending Tetsu like he should’ve.”Tetsu... I love you too but...” He looked away from the iron-quirked boy.
Tetsutetsu felt a tug of fear in his heart.”What’s the matter?” He asked, eyesbrows furrowed. Neito sighed.”I still... I’m guilty I didn’t defend you... from my dad. It pisses me off. He pisses me off. I don’t...” Neito felt tears well up.
Tetsutetsu hugged Neito tightly.”It’s ok, Neito. And hey... you walked away like you’ve been told too. I’m proud of you for that. I know stuff like that is hard. But I’m so damn proud of you. And we don’t have to listen to that damn bastard and his dumbass opinions. We’re happy and that’s all that matters, alright Neito?” Tetsutetsu looked at the blond with a glance full of all his love, passion, and affection he had for him and then some. Neito felt his heart flutter at the gaze. Tears streamed down his face at his words. He smiled as he hugged Tetsutetsu.
This was his favorite place anywhere. In the arms of the one he loves most, and the one who loves him most.
Tetsutetsu looked at him in alarm.”Are you ok? You’re crying again.” Neito kissed Tetsutetsu on the lips, in a brief but sweet kiss. Neito wiped his eyes.”Yeah, I’m fine.” His make-up was probably messed up at this point, but he didn’t care.
“Tetsu... My Prince. Love of my life. Thank you.” Monoma whispered earnestly. Tetsutetsu smiled at him softly. He planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Of course.” Tetsutetsu hugged him.”I’m so proud of you. How strong you are. How brave. How incredibly beautiful. Everything.” Tetsutetsu felt his breath caught in his throat as the sun reflect off of Monoma’s face like a perfect picture painted by a skillful hand. His make-up was messed up and eyes red. But he was beautiful nonetheless.
Neito out his forehead against Tetsu’s as the silver-haired boy kept mumbling his praises. Neito shushed him by putting a finger to his lips.”Hush and look at me.” Tetsutetsu’s face was red as he did so. ‘So close.’ He thought.
Neito kissed his lips.”I’m proud of you too, lovely.” He whispered. Tetsutetsu beamed at the praise.
Neito laughed again at him. And the two stayed there for the rest of the time, watching stars for the sky.
Neito was in his favorite place on earth now.
Home.
Home, for him, was Tetsutetsu, and he would always appreciate that.
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imaginetonyandbucky · 3 years
Text
Keeping Me Alive
Chapter 6: I Hate Everything About You
by @dracusfyre
First was the arc reactor, glowing like a beacon in the dim of the cave. Yinsen smiled delightedly as the blue light sputtered to life with a gentle hum. It was the first thing Tony had invented in a long time that had filled him with the same rush of glee and satisfaction that had hooked him ever since he’d built his first robot. God, he hadn’t thought about DUM-E in ages; it was gathering dust in the corner of his lab, and the thought suddenly made him sad (time to put away childish things, Tony. You’re the man of the house now. His parents hadn’t even been in the ground yet). It reminded him how beautiful it could be to create something that wasn’t built for destruction.
“How much power does that put out?” Yinsen asked curiously, tilting his glasses down to get a better look.
“Enough for what we need it for,” Tony said. “Enough to get out.”
“I knew you could do it,” Yinsen said, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder. Tony jerked, caught by surprise, but Yinsen just squeezed it gently and pretended not to notice when Tony’s face got hot from embarrassment. “What’s next?”
"In order to be bullet-proof, the armor needs to be thick, which will make it too heavy for me to wear, so I am going to mechanize it," Tony explained, pressing the sheets of paper flat so that Yinsen could see the suit he'd designed. "That's why we needed the arc reactor."
"Brilliant," Yinsen said, flipping between the pages to get a closer look at the different parts of the suit. After a moment a line appeared between his eyebrows and he tilted his head. "Have you given yourself no way to fight back?" he asked curiously. When Tony just looked at him with confusion, Yinsen said, "With the suit. Did you not include any weapons on purpose?"
Tony stared at him for a long time and then he had to laugh, because he hadn't even thought of building weapons into the suit. The concept of fighting back hadn't even occurred to him, and wasn't that just pathetic? He'd only ever thought about surviving long enough to run away; story of his life, really. He closed his hands into fists, nails digging painfully into his palms, and had to fight the urge to crumple the pages in disgust. Yinsen must have seen something on his face because he slid them to the side as Tony crossed his arms over his chest and walked away. "No," Tony finally said, running a hand over the back of his neck. "It wasn't on purpose. I'm just an idiot."
"It's easily remedied," Yinsen said gently, and Tony nodded wordlessly. He could feel Yinsen's eyes on his back and felt ridiculously naked for someone who was wearing two layers of clothing against the chill of the cave. "How can I help?"
Tony took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and forced himself to think. He finally focused on the pile of tools, spare parts, and partially disassembled missiles that he'd been pretending to study, frowning as he thought. His eyes landed on gasoline cans and the propane tank. "We can't do guns," he said slowly, "but I think we could do fire."
A few hours later Yinsen was bent over his suit jacket, meticulously mending a ripped seam. There was a small pile of clothes beside him that needed mending, and Tony watched as he carefully placed each stitch and wondered why Yinsen tried so hard to stay presentable, tying his tie and shaving each morning before shrugging into the same suit jacket he'd worn every day since Tony had woken up here. "You know," Yinsen said eventually into the peaceful quiet, "for someone who has so much, you don't act like a man with much to lose."
Tony looked away, into the flames flickering in their wood burning stove. "I guess I don't," he admitted, picking at one of the rapidly growing callouses on his palms. "Or rather, for everything I'd be sad to lose, there's another I'd be happy to be rid of."
"No family?"
"No. Not for a long time. You?"
"Yes. We were...separated...but I hope to see them again one day. When I leave here, perhaps." Silence fell again, broken only by the sounds of conversation on the other side of the iron door to their cell. "What are you so afraid to go back to, Stark?"
Tony twitched at that and his head whipped around to stare at Yinsen. "I never said I was afraid."
Yinsen met his eyes as he cut the thread. "Didn't you?"
Tony stood up and walked away, finding something to pretend to be busy with until Yinsen put away his mending and lay down in his cot. When he thought Yinsen was asleep, he crept over and climbed into his own cot. But as he shifted, trying to get comfortable, Yinsen said, "I've seen many faces of Tony Stark. I wonder if even you know which is the real one." With that, he rolled over and didn't say anything else, leaving Tony to stare into the red-tinged darkness as the flames died down to coals.
The heat from the hot iron was scorching, even through Tony's clothes, and his shoulders and back were aching with effort, but he didn't stop hammering until the helmet was done. When it was ready, Tony dipped it in the bucket of cold water and the sizzling hiss of steam brought Yinsen over. Tony sat it on the wooden work bench, and Yinsen bent over to get a better look at it. "You know, my people have a story about a man who was unjustly imprisoned and forced to work in a mine," he said. "Over and over his captors sent him to the deepest pits and carry the heaviest loads in an attempt to break him. And even though his heart quailed in fear and his back bent under the weight of his trials, he never did. One day, his captors came to kill him and found that their attempts to destroy him had only made him stronger." Yinsen straightened. "Much like your hammer makes this metal stronger."
Tony put down the heavy leather work gloves and stretched his shoulders. "Well, I am definitely getting stronger, I'll give you that," he said, splashing some water on his face and arms, which still prickled with sweat.
"You know that's not what I mean," Yinsen said sternly as he sat down on his cot.
"I know." Tony sat down on his own cot across from him. He accepted the bowl of food that Yinsen had prepared and ate greedily while Yinsen set up the backgammon board. "But you give me too much credit," he said between bites.
"You don't give yourself enough," Yinsen countered. "You'll see. When you leave here, everything will be different."
"Maybe." Tony stared down at his food. He tried not to think about that too much - leaving here - because he knew better than to hope. He could only look ahead to the next part of the suit, to the day of their escape; maybe when they walk out of this cave as free men, he would let himself think about what would happen next.
"You will be different, Stark," Yinsen said. "And it will change everything."
Weeks later, Tony and Yinsen were startled by a teeth-rattling bang that echoed through the tunnels, followed by the sound of gunfire and panicked shouting. They froze with fear for a moment then stared at each other. "Do you think its...?" Tony started, afraid to finish the thought lest he jinx it.
But Yinsen had obviously had the same one. "Maybe. But we should be still be careful, just in case," Yinsen said.
"Right." They scrambled to hide the completed pieces for Tony's armored suit as the gunfight outside their room raged. It wasn't long before the sounds of gunfire started to trail off and be limited to staccato bursts every few minutes, jarring for their loudness. Tony couldn't bring himself to look away from the door, heart hammering as he waited to see who came through.
There was an uneasy silence for a long time, then he and Yinsen both jumped at a series of loud, ringing bangs on the heavy iron door before it suddenly swung open with a screech of tortured metal. Standing in the doorway was the Winter Soldier, looking obscenely out of place here - almost unreal - in his black leather tac vest and thick canvas pants, bristling with weapons and coated with a fine layer of dust, face still hidden behind his mask and goggles. He seemed to pull all of the light towards him, warping the very air and making everything else go dim and gray.
"No," Tony said as he backed away, color draining from his face. He felt dizzy and nauseous. "No, no, no-" The Soldier strode forward as Tony tried to escape and wrapped his cold metal fingers around Tony's throat, lifting him so that his toes were barely on the ground. As Tony grabbed the Soldier's wrist and struggled to breath, Stane came in; he glanced around the dismal cave with a look of distaste. When he saw the expression on Tony’s face, though, he broke into a smile. “Hello, Tony. You seem surprised to see me.”
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superherotiger · 4 years
Text
Return to me, the one I love so endlessly... (Irondad fic) - Chapter 2
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Rating: Teen and Up // Relationship: Tony Stark & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Quentin Beck // Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Quentin Beck // Ao3 Link
Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6
Chapter Summary:
“Sir?”
Tony almost leapt out of his skin at the soft voice, whipping his head around to find a pair of big brown eyes staring back at him from the shadowed doorway. “Who’s there?” Tony called, keeping his expression guarded. Even if this person had saved him that didn’t mean they weren’t a threat, and with the arc reactor in his chest laying completely exposed without a shirt, he had no doubt they had figured out his identity by now. Billionaire and superhero was not usually a great reputation to have while being completely vulnerable to a stranger.
“Sorry,” the voice spoke again as they pushed further into the room, the muted sunlight shining down to reveal their youthful face and curly brown hair. Those eyes, so gentle and warm, gazed over at Tony with concern, before the boy -a teenager, he quickly realised- offered him a smile.
“Sorry sir, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
(Trigger warnings: Physical abuse of a minor, alcoholism, swearing)
~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2: Daydreams turn to Nightmares
I need to run…
That was the first thought that drifted past Tony’s mind as he slowly crawled his way back to consciousness, the shadows that parted as he gathered his energy leaving an awfully painful ache in his bones. His senses followed shortly after his thoughts, and he heard a stiff groan fill the air as a sensation akin to fire erupted across his arm and chest, only to realise that he was the one who had made the pathetic noise in the silence that followed. It took all of Tony’s strength to even pry his eyelids open, shoving through the tar that had seemingly encased his body and wondering why he felt like he’d just been dragged from hell and back.
Was he drunk? No, he couldn’t be. He’d been sober for almost three years now, swearing he’d never drink again after a particularly catastrophic attempt to drown his sorrows on the most awful day of the year:
The 10th of August.
A day that should have been filled with joy and laughter and celebrations was instead weighed down with loss and regret and pain. So much pain…
Just thinking about the date sent a swirl of bittersweet memories crashing into Tony’s already unsteady mind. He tried valiantly to shove them all away, refusing to feel the emotions that so desperately wanted to burst from his chest, but felt a newer memory jump back to life as he tried.
“Are you sure you want to take this mission Tony?”
Tony blinked, and for once allowed himself to be pulled back into the memories with the help of the captain’s steady voice.
“Absolutely,” he’d replied. “It’s just a basic recon mission, right? Nothing Iron Man can’t handle.”
Steve had grimaced, holding the file just out of reach of Tony’s searching fingers as he said, “It’s not Iron Man I’m worried about.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means Tony,” Steve glared, only for his tone to soften as he added carefully “I just… I know that August is a hard month for you...”
This time it was Tony who adverted his gaze, trying not to notice the way that Rhodey and Natasha had stiffened at the table and shoving down the sadness that had become his permanent companion for the past decade. “All the more reason for me to take the mission,” Tony said, cracking his jaw. “It’ll be good for me. Like a, a-“
“A distraction?” Steve asked incredulously.
“A release,” Tony corrected, ignoring the concerned gaze Rhodey was giving him in the corner of his eye. “I need to do something, Cap. I need to keep busy, get my mind focused on something useful. Especially now when…”
His words trailed off, but everyone understood the message in his silence.
After a few more tense moments, Steve sighed heavily and offered Tony the file, which the mechanic swept up and began reading swiftly. “We believe it’s a Hydra research facility, but we need some more information before an attack can be scheduled,” the captain explained, non-too pleased about it if the creases in his brow were any indication. “We need to know their defences, weak spots, escape routes and so on.”
“So it’s a stakeout?”
“Exactly, which means no obvious suits or tech,” Steve answered sharply. “I have to warn you though, it’s a two week mission in the-“
“Done,” Tony said before the captain had even finished speaking. Two weeks would take him to mid-August, which means he’d be plenty busy on the dreaded anniversary that always seemed to approach like a road-train on the horizon, ready to mow him over every single time. Call it whatever you wished: a mission, a distraction, a release. For Tony, this assignment was a godsend.
“I’ll see you all in two weeks,” Tony said as he shut the folder in his hand with a satisfying snap. “Don’t go having any crazy parties while I’m gone-“
“Tony.”
The man hesitated on his way to the door, knowing he could never ignore his best friend but so tempted to just leave while he still had the chance. Slowly, Tony glanced over his shoulder and locked eyes with Rhodey, feeling those deep brown eyes staring into the emptiness of his soul like he was made of glass.
For one terrifying moment he thought he might say it. Might tear the great Tony Stark down to a sobbing mess with a single name.
But after offering a sympathetic smile, Rhodey just nodded and said with all the care he could imbue into his voice “Be careful Tones.”
Tony’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief. “Don’t worry platypus, it’s just a recon mission anyway. How hard could it be?”
Very hard, apparently.
Because on the fifth day of his stakeout when the sun had barely edged over the horizon, he was met with a Hydra patrol squad sweeping through his supposed ‘safe house’, being forced to make a run for it since he was not only lacking a suit of armour but all the minimal tech that he had left downstairs the night before. He’d jumped out of the second story window with nothing but the clothes on his back and sprinted for the nearby pine forest bordering the property to escape. There hadn’t even been time to send an alert to the other Avengers before gunshots began raining through the air, just managing to disappear into the trees as bullets whizzed by at an alarming rate.
What happened after that became a bit of a blur. He remembered running like hell, terrified of the gunfire that seemed to be hunting him down like a pack of hungry predators chasing down their prey. He thought there might have been blood on his shirt, on his hands, on the bark of the trees as he stumbled towards safety, and he remembered falling too- no, tripping over a rocky slope and slamming his head on a particularly jagged boulder on the way down. He must have continued to move though because the next thing he remembered he was trekking through a paddock of gold, red paint staining the grass as he passed. He remembered seeing a dead tree and thinking that he would sit down -just for a moment- to regain his strength. Maybe his balance too since he seemed to be listing to the side with every step he took like a rowboat in the middle of a storm.
It would just be a short break, barely even a minute, he told himself.
But as his mind finally seemed to kick into gear, he realised quickly that he was, in fact, not lying in a field anymore, and that the surface that should have been dirt and grass beneath him was actually a mattress. Cheap, uncomfortable, and springy, but a mattress nonetheless.
Cracking his eyes open again, Tony’s sluggish brain registered the pale grey roof above his head and what looked like an old, ragged Star Wars poster on the wall to his left. He could feel the soft fabric of a blanket as he twitched his fingers and winced at the stab of pain that spiralled up his arm in response. When he turned his head he was met with a series of action-figures sitting at the edge of the bedside table, chipped from years of use and obviously cared for dearly.
Not the typical Hydra jail cell, so that was a good sign.
With his shoulder aching and bones creaking and mind still spinning like a top, Tony dragged himself to sit up and take stock of whatever strange, nerdy world he had somehow landed himself in. Warm afternoon sunlight poured in from the window to the right and cast the room into an inviting, comfy haze. Books with fraying edges were lined up neatly on a bookshelf and a scarce collection of toys were stacked up on the shelf below. A modest wooden wardrobe covered in what looked like newspaper clippings and photographs stood in the corner of the room, and though it was obviously a child’s bedroom based on the figurines and posters, he was surprised by how clean everything was. Neat. Orderly. Not even a speck of dust on any surface.
Tony couldn’t explain why it sent his nerves on edge, but he found himself tugging the blanket higher up his bare chest and fighting off a shiver anyway.
It was only now that he registered the state of his own body, and compared to the pristine room he sat in, he found he was anything but in perfect shape. Bruises trailed up his side from the earlier tumble and his right ankle was swollen and throbbing from where he had -less than gracefully- hit the ground after jumping down from the second story window. Whoever had found him had at least laid an ice pack over it, but it felt like a pinch compared to his left shoulder which burned and ached in an unfortunately familiar fashion.
I need to stop getting shot so much, Tony thought grimly as he inspected the torn-up rags covering the wound. It was fairly basic, but to his pleasant surprise it didn’t look like there was any blood seeping into the cloth either.
Prodding the bandage with his fingers, Tony instantly regretted the action as hot, fiery pain laced up from his arm again. “Don’t take the suit they said…” Tony hissed under his breath. “It’ll be fine they said…”
“Sir?”
Tony almost leapt out of his skin at the soft voice, whipping his head around to find a pair of big brown eyes staring back at him from the shadowed doorway. “Who’s there?” Tony called, keeping his expression guarded. Even if this person had saved him that didn’t mean they weren’t a threat, and with the arc reactor in his chest laying completely exposed without a shirt, he had no doubt they had figured out his identity by now. Billionaire and superhero was not usually a great reputation to have while being completely vulnerable to a stranger.
“Sorry,” the voice spoke again as they pushed further into the room, the muted sunlight shining down to reveal their youthful face and curly brown hair. Those eyes, so gentle and warm, gazed over at Tony with concern, before the boy -a teenager, he quickly realised- offered him a smile.
“Sorry sir, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said sheepishly.
Tony blinked in surprise but was quick to collect himself. “No harm done,” he said, wincing at another painful tug in his muscles as he asked, “I’m assuming you’re my knight in less-than-shining armour then, huh?”
“Something like that,” the boy chuckled as he scratched at his neck bashfully. “I found you by the dead tree in the field. You were bleeding pretty badly, but- um, I ran out of bandages, so I tried my best to wrap it with old cloth instead. I, uh… I hope it’s alright.”
“It’s great kid. Couldn’t have done a better job myself,” he assured, lightly inspecting the rags.
He didn’t notice the way the boy stiffened; how his eyes grew wide at the praise or how his smile beamed wide in response. And by the time Tony’s eyes lifted back to the teenager he was already moving towards the door and rambling about something at a speed that was surely incapable for humans to achieve. His youthful voice continued to echo down the hallway as he disappeared out of the room, and Tony found himself smiling at the innocent crack of his voice that interspersed each rapid sentence.
Tony assumed that he was going to get his parents or guardian now that he was awake, but he was surprised when the teenager returned balancing a tray of food on one hand and some clean clothes in the other. “Sorry- sorry,” he stuttered, shaking his head and sending his curls swaying wildly. “You’re probably starving. I made some, uh- some soup earlier. I wasn’t sure when you were gonna wake up, but it’s hot so-“
The words continued to tumble out as he set the tray down on the bedside table and offered the clothes -an old flannel shirt and accompanying black jacket- out to Tony, who was just watching him with a tired but amused look on his face. “These are my dad’s winter clothes,” the boy explained, finally slowing his speech enough for it to be understood. “I tried to salvage your other shirt but there was way too much blood. Like, it was soaked-“
Tony waved off the inevitable apology and took the clothes from his hands, relieved when he was able to cover the distinctive glow of the arc reactor with layers of warm fabric. He was a little surprised though that the boy hadn’t mentioned it yet. No shock. No horror. Just talking to him excitedly like he was any other person.
Tony had to admit, it was a nice change from the deranged villains he would usually wake up to in these kinds of situations.
“Sorry, I’m uh- I’m rambling again…” the boy said, suddenly looking timid, before placing the tray carefully at Tony’s side. There was hot, steaming soup poured into a bowl and some squares of plain toast resting on a plate beside it, and much like the chipped figurines on the table or the bandage of rags around his arm, it was simple but… thoughtful. Done with the upmost care.
Tony flashed a grateful smile to the boy and took hold of the soup, feeling pretty confident that he wasn’t about to get poisoned by the awkward, rambling child standing before him.
“Sorry if it tastes bad,” the teen rushed to say as he wrung his hands together nervously. “My dad says I’m not really good at making soup, but I- uh, I read a thing once about giving sick people soup when they were sick, so…”
Instead of replying to his anxious stuttering, Tony just lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth and resolved to decide for himself. He took a bite and-
“Holy shit…”
The boy winced at Tony’s murmur, asking softly “It’s that bad, huh?”
“No,” Tony shook his head, shovelling another spoonful into his mouth in awe before adding “It’s good. Like, really good, kid.”
For the first time since meeting each other, the boy was rendered speechless.
And feeling an old instinct flicker back to life like a flame, Tony went on to assure him, “Honestly kid, it’s great. You’re a natural chef.”
“You really think so…?” he asked, his breath catching in disbelief.
Tony’s heart ached at the hopefulness in his bright, young eyes. Did he honestly think his cooking was that bad? Was he aware that most teenagers didn’t even know how to make a soup, let alone a good one? And what kind of father would be so cold as to tell their kid straight up that they were bad at cooking instead of trying to teach them?
Bitterness coiled up in Tony’s guts like a python strangling its prey, resenting the fact that he never got to teach his own son to cook. Never got to praise him. Never got to see him grow up…
“Your father obviously has no taste if he thinks this isn’t good,” Tony scoffed before he could stop himself, realising he had already devoured half the bowl in the midst of his spiralling thoughts.
The boy, who had taken a seat at the end of the bed, ducked his head with a somewhat cautious chuckle, saying “Yeah, well… I haven’t made it in a couple of years. I never really tried again after, uh…” He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. “Guess I finally got it right this time, hah…”
Tony narrowed his eyes a little, sensing something more to that comment but not wishing to pry. He’d barely known this kid for five minutes and somehow his instincts were calling out to him in a way they hadn’t for many, many years.
He’s not yours though…
He’s not James…
Tony shoved those thoughts far down into the crevices of his mind, glancing up at the boy and asking lightly “Got a name kid?”
“Um… Peter, sir,” the teen smiled. “Peter Beck.”
“Well, ‘Um, Peter’, it’s nice to meet you,” Tony said, earning a sincere laugh out of the boy.
“Sorry, we don’t get many visitors out here,” Peter explained. “I’m a little rusty with my conversation skills.”
“Eh, you’re doing fine,” Tony said, finishing the rest of his meal and choosing to brush off the fact that he wasn’t technically a ‘visitor’ but an unfortunate passerby.
“I, uh… I never got your name,” Peter said after a few moments of silence.
Now that was a surprise. Tony glanced up quizzically to see if the teen was just messing with him or maybe even just trying to be polite, but Peter’s expression was nothing if not sincere, and Tony found the snarky reply waiting on the tip of his tongue dissipating in an instant. “Tony Stark,” he answered, watching to see if the name would spark any recognition.
Obviously it did not if the kind, completely unaware smile that Peter gave him was any indication. “Nice to meet you Mr Stark…” He paused, before adding teasingly “Now that you’re not dying and all that.”
“Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me kid,” Tony scoffed. “So how bad was it? Give me the damage report.”
Peter smirked as he leant back against the wall, saying casually “Where should I begin? Bleeding shoulder, head wound, swollen ankle, and bruises and scratches to last a lifetime.”
Shrugging, Tony mumbled “Not the worst I’ve had before…”
“Can I ask what lead to such a laundry list of injuries?” Peter asked.
“Sorry, that’s confidential,” Tony mused, causing Peter’s eyes to widen slightly.
“Are… are you are a spy?”
“Not exactly,” Tony said. “But I am on a mission, yes.”
Those big eyes were now racing with electricity as he asked, “Is it an important one? Like… Like Luke Skywalker blowing up the Death Star important?”
“Oh yeah, very important,” Tony said, stifling a laugh at the teen’s nerdy streak finally making an appearance. “So, big Star Wars fan huh?”
If he thought Peter’s eyes were bright before, then it was like the sun had just appeared from behind a stormy cloud as he grinned back at Tony. “Oh definitely!” he beamed, sitting up from the wall to swing his hands around excitedly. “I only get to watch them when Dad brings the TV down for movie night but I’ve watched the whole trilogy a hundred times!”
Tony felt himself smiling again -god, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d smiled this much- as Peter continued to ramble about the nuances of Star Wars and why it was his favourite franchise. It seemed he’d opened the floodgates because the words were flowing out of Peter so quickly you would think he’d lose his voice forever if he stopped. Tony just watched, and smiled, and ate his soup with little interruption, enjoying the way the teen would use his hands as well as his voice to emphasise a point, or how his nose would scrunch up slightly when he criticised something.
As he placed the now empty bowl back onto the tray, Tony tried not to think about his own son as his looked at Peter. Tried not to wonder if James would have looked the same way when telling him something he was excited about, something that he loved.
Just like always, those painful memories resurfaced.
And just like always, Tony shoved them right back down.
When Peter’s tirade had finally begun to slow, the man quickly dragged himself out of the little carefree bubble that he’d found himself in and asked instead “Hey kid, you got a phone I could borrow?”
Regret washed over the teen’s once joyous expression so fast it was actually frightening. “Sorry Mr Stark. My dad’s the only one with a phone and he doesn’t get back until the afternoon.”
“Geez, a teenager with no phone, who’d have thought,” Tony said glumly. “Alright then. Any neighbours nearby?”
Again, Peter shook his head. “We’re thirty minutes out of town.”
“Well how are you supposed to contact your dad if you need help?”
Peter looked puzzled at that, saying as if it were obvious “He’s working though. I don’t bother him while he’s working.”
Tony stiffened.
Can’t you see I’m working Anthony? Get the hell out!
“But if you’re in an emergency…” Tony said, his mind still caught up in long lost memories. “What are you supposed to do if you’re hurt?”
Peter shrugged, picking at flecks of dried blood from his nails to distract himself. “I wait for him to get home…”
A cold wind swept over Tony as he stared at the boy that was once filled with so much light and joy and excitement mere moments ago. Now all he could see was an emptiness in the depths of Peter’s brown eyes, and the tension in his shoulders, and the way his jaw clenched as the silence continued to drag.
Something’s wrong, his instincts whispered. You know there’s something wrong here…
But before Tony could try and figure it out, Peter seemed to find his own resolve as he stood up from the bed and said reassuringly “Don’t worry Mr Stark, as soon as my dad gets home I’m going to ask him to call an ambulance or take you to the hospital.”
“I don’t need a hospital kid,” Tony replied, aware that he was diverting the subject but figuring there would be time to investigate later. “I just need to call a friend of mine back in New York to let him know I’m alive and all that.”
Peter’s eyes widened in that familiar and oh so missed awe. “Did you say New York?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“Sure did.”
“Have you been there?” he pressed, before shaking his head and amending quickly “I mean, of course you have, your friend’s there. I meant, um… is, is it as big as they say it is?”
Tony wasn’t sure if he should be amused or concerned by the sudden flood of interest, replying casually “Yeah, it is a major city after all-“
“And are there really massive skyscrapers like in the pictures?” Peter said as he slowly lowered himself to sit back on the edge of the bed, completely enraptured with every word that Tony spoke.
Seeing his opportunity, Tony smirked and said “Sure do kid. I live in one of them.”
“No way!”
“Yep. Stark Tower, owned by yours truly,” Tony said with a grand gesture of his arms, only to curse when his shoulder retaliated in agony.
“Oh gosh, so you’re like, super rich then aren’t you?” Peter muttered, even as he leant down and pulled a first aid kid out from under the bed. “I’m so sorry Mr Stark, I didn’t mean to ramble about Star Wars for so long. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of better things to do then-“
“It’s fine kid,” Tony immediately hushed him. “It was nice talking to someone like a normal person for once. Feel free to keep doing it too, I am still human at the end of the day.”
Peter smiled up at him warmly, checks a little red from both embarrassment and excitement, before he gestured to Tony’s shoulder and said, “I probably need to replace the wrapping soon.”
“It looked pretty sealed to me,” Tony replied cautiously.
“Yeah, but it’ll dissolve in another ten minutes or so.”
“Hate to break it to you kid, but cloth actually doesn’t dissolve,” Tony said with a slightly teasing tone.
Suddenly Peter looked nervous, wringing his hands together again and scratching at something beneath the wrist of his hoodie as he murmured “No… but, uh… the chemical solution I put over it will.”
“You what?”
Peter immediately threw his hands up in a peaceful gesture, saying swiftly “It’s completely harmless! It’s just a web-like substance that seals and stanches a bleeding wound for three hours, that’s all!”
But Tony was already tearing his jacket off and pushing the edge of his flannel shirt to the side to get a better view of his injured shoulder, not wanting to relive his experience with the arc reactor again even if every bone in his body was screaming that Peter would never do such a thing. Said teenager was still stumbling over his words in an attempt to calm him, but Tony was purely focused on peeling away the make-shift bandages to reveal some kind of white, dry patch lying beneath it. The formation of the patch resembled that of a thick spider web, and when Tony ran his fingers over it he was surprised that the frail-looking strings held up against the pressure.
“What’s it made of?” the man asked, less out of fear and more out of curiosity now.
Peter listed off all the ingredients in a nervous stutter and Tony just nodded along as he mentioned more and more stable, non-threatening chemicals. Finally, when he was satisfied that Peter had not tried to kill him with some kind of biological weapon, he leant back against the wall with a sigh and marvelled instead at the boy’s clever handiwork.
Peter, in his rush to assure the man that it was completely safe, dragged on old leather journal out of his wardrobe and brought it over to him, showing the formula that he used written down amongst the pages and handing the book over when Tony reached out for it. It only took a brief scan of the pages to realise that the kind, nerdy teenager that had miraculously saved him was also, as it turns out, a genius.
“I’m impressed,” Tony said, whistling to re-enforce his amazement. “This is some pretty advanced stuff, and the tensile strength of your formula is off the charts kid.”
Peter seemed stunned by his words at first, before answering sheepishly “It took a lot of tweaking, but- but it’s completely safe, I promise.”
Tony nodded along, asking “You said it dissolves after three hours?”
“Yeah, I -um, I haven’t been able to figure out how to extend or shorten it yet.”
“Don’t need to if you can make a dissolvent for it instead,” Tony suggested as he handed the book back to the jittery teen.
“Oh man, I… I didn’t even think about that,” Peter muttered, staring down at his notes scrutinisingly as the gears began turning in his head. “Yeah… yeah! Oh gosh, that’s a heaps better idea! Then it doesn’t matter when they dissolve because you can just remove and re-apply them before it happens!”
Tony smiled at Peter’s seemingly never-ending excitement, admiring the wonder he still held for the world and the future. Such an innocent spirit was a rare thing these days, usually lost through trauma or trampled by reality. But here, in the middle of damn nowhere, Tony had somehow managed to find one of the few rays of hope left on this whole godforsaken planet.
Maybe his mission hadn’t been such a bust after all…
After Peter had scribbled down the beginnings of his new dissolvent formula -with a few tips from Tony here and there-, the two spent the next ten minutes throwing ideas back and forth and adding a new layer of the webbing to Tony’s shoulder when the old one began to fall apart. Tony praised the boy for his ingenious wrist dispensers and found himself genuinely laughing when Peter told him about all the scrap materials he’d used to make them, the rest of the world seeming to fall away as they spiralled into discussions about engineering and chemistry and New York shortly after. Peter began to bandage his shoulder again as they spoke, but this time it was just a precaution since the bleeding had considerably slowly thanks to his formula.
“So, what are you going to sell it as?” Tony asked when Peter was packing away the first aid and vials of formula back under the bed.
“For medical stuff, hopefully,” Peter explained humbly. “Ambulances, hospitals, first aid maybe… I just wanna be able to help people, you know?”
A pang of understanding hit Tony’s heart at the boy’s awfully mature answer, and he just knew in that moment that this kid was going to do great things someday. If he had the chance to spread his wings, Tony had no doubt that he would soar above everyone else.
“That’s really good of you kid,” Tony said with a weak smile, his energy depleted after so much talking and moving and planning.
Peter seemed to realise this though as he rose back to his feet with the empty bowl and tray in hand, flashing the man a comforting smile of his own as he said “You should probably rest Mr Stark. I’ll wake you up when my dad gets home and then- then you can call whoever you need to okay?”
A warm flutter passed through Tony’s chest as he lowered himself to lie back down in the bed. “Thanks kid,” he mumbled hoarsely. “I owe you one for saving my sorry ass.”
“Well, you helped me with my formula,” he reasoned. “So how about we call it even?”
The last thing Tony saw before his eyes slid shut from exhaustion was Peter’s soft smile, his striking brown eyes as warm as the summer sunshine. And for the first time in years, Tony didn’t fall asleep feeling as empty inside.
“You got it kid…”
~~~~~~~~~~
When Tony woke up next, he knew that something was off.
Blood orange rays of sunlight were painted across the walls and fading quickly as he opened his eyes, his shoulder now stiff and aching instead of the enraged fire it had been earlier. It didn’t take long for Peter to return to the room, but unlike the uncontainable ball of energy he’d been before, he was quiet and skittish as he brought in a plate of freshly cooked stir-fry and placed it on the bedside table. Tony asked if he was alright but the teenager just nodded stiffly, turning to gaze out the window and the rapidly setting sun before disappearing back downstairs again without another word.
When Peter returned about five minutes later, it was with a bowl of his own dinner and a somewhat forced smile. “Uh, sorry about that Mr Stark, I just… I got lost in thought…” he said while taking a seat on a nearby stool.
“Anything I can do to help?” Tony asked, genuinely concerned for his new-found friend.
Peter’s expression became blank as the last lines of sunlight fell behind the horizon, the shallows of his eyes appearing almost haunted in the shadows. “My dad is usually home by now…” he said, his voice void of emotion as he turned the lamp on and started to eat, as if that would somehow put Tony’s racing mind at ease. Something told him not to pry though; at least not yet. Not when Peter looked like he’d checked out to another planet by now.
And so they ate in silence, Tony growing more and more concerned for the unusually reserved teenager as more shimmering stars began dotting the sky beyond the window. He tried to start conversations with the boy, mentioning robotics and chemistry and engineering and everything that had brought him so much joy before, but to no avail. Finally though, as they both neared the end of their meals, Tony brought up New York again, and Peter glanced up at him with wide, wary eyes.
“Can you… Can you tell me about it please?” he’d asked in a whisper, the first full sentence he’d spoken since they’d started eating.
Tony was quick to oblige, dredging up every fantastical and mundane story he could think of about the city he called home until the tension in Peter’s shoulders began to slack, his eyes clearing back into that warm, chocolate gaze the longer he spoke. And since Peter hadn’t known about his infamous reputation earlier Tony decided to steer clear of any superhero or alien stories for now too, wondering in the back of his mind how much the boy truly knew of the world outside his little home. Gradually he began to ask Tony questions and chuckle at his jokes and smile at his voice like before, and it was almost like the world had shifted back into place.
Tony couldn’t explain why his own chest suddenly felt a thousand times lighter in response, but before long Peter was sitting at the end of the bed again with his journal out and pencil at the ready, sketching down the city streets and skyscrapers that Tony continued to describe and eventually divulging back into new gadgets and formulas scribbled along the pages. It didn’t bother Tony. In fact, he was utterly relieved to see that the teenager he’d grown so fond of was returning back to his usual, bubbly self. And if all he had to do was retell dumb stories about subways and taxis and alleyways to keep that darkness out of his eyes, then god, he’d do it all day long.
Time slipped by again as the two conversed throughout the evening and enjoyed the light company that seemed to be keeping both of them grounded. After clearing the empty plates away and receiving yet another round of praise from Tony for his great cooking, Peter got to work replacing the webbing on Tony’s shoulder and bantering about who the best Star Wars character was.
“But Han Solo’s got everything going for him,” Tony reasoned playfully. “Good looking, rich girlfriend, loveable best friend-“
“And he’s also a scoundrel,” Peter replied with a smile of his own, tying the bandages back over the sealed wound as he retorted “Luke is a hero and a Jedi Knight! You can’t get much better than that.”
“Han is literally the space equivalent of a cowboy. He wins, straight up.”
“Ego doesn’t equal value, Mr Stark,” Peter said as he shot Tony a mischievous glare. “I thought you would have known that, Mr I-Live-In-A-Skyscraper.”
Tony’s uninjured arm lifted in a half-hearted shrug. “What’s the point of having money if you don’t get to flaunt it, huh?”
Peter just rolled his eyes in typical teenage fashion before packing away the first aid kit again, saying “All done Mr Stark.”
“Thanks kid.”
“No problem,” he smiled, glancing back over his journal with a proud glint in his eye, so much brighter than they had been barely an hour beforehand.
Remembering the emptiness he’d witnessed in Peter’s young face, Tony’s expression softened as he asked, “Hey kid, you sure you’re alright?”
He looked startled at first, blinking up at the man as if he’d forgotten he was there, before nodding his head weakly. “Yeah Mr Stark, I’m fine. I just… I feel bad that you can’t call your friend yet,” he admitted with a sigh.
“It’s fine kid, really,” Tony assured. “Stop worrying your little head over it and focus on something better, like all those great ideas you’ve scribbled down in that book, yeah?”
After a few moments of hesitation, Peter finally nodded, not quite finished feeling guilty but obviously not keen to fight Tony over it either. Instead, he pulled out his chemistry kit and got to work on his new and improved dissolvent, seeking Tony’s advice as he worked until the man was forced to lie down again with a tired groan. Peter assured him that it was fine, that he could figure it out no problem, and that “Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you if something goes wrong, I promise.”
Tony had a feeling that was a lie, but he was too exhausted to argue with the teen at this point, staring out at the blanket of stars outside the window and listening to Peter’s soft mumblings until he eventually fell back into the slumber.
When Tony woke up next, he knew that something was definitely wrong.
It was Peter’s gasp that had him jolting back to reality, sitting up and blinking wildly until his eyes finally focused on the boy sitting across the room. The lamp was still on, and if the unkempt look of Peter’s hair was any indication, the boy must have fallen asleep on the floor during his experiments at some point, sleep crusting his now wide-blown eyes as he pressed his hands against his neck anxiously. The hairs on his arms were standing up straight despite the air being a little warmer than room temperature.
“No.”
Another flare of alarm set off at Peter’s quiet murmur.
“Kid?” Tony asked firmly, shoving the blankets away and turning to stare it the teen more directly. “Are you alright?”
Peter didn’t seem to hear him though, scrambling to his feet and throwing the window open with a wild look in his eyes.
“You’re starting to freak me out kid,” Tony said. “Is this some kind of night-walking to the extreme or-“
He was cut off by an abrupt “Shh!” from Peter, his head tilted towards the outside as cool air began drifting into the room. Tony considered a retort, but he’d never seen the teen this anxious before, so he decided not to push it. Maybe he’d heard something outside. A fox or a bear or something that he needed to be aware of.
But in the silence, that’s when Tony heard it.
Car tires.
Screeching car tires, growing louder and louder-
Peter suddenly slammed the window shut and twirled around to Tony with an almost unnoticeable gasp, as if he’d just seen a ghost and didn’t know where to run first. Tony wanted to ask what was wrong, if he was in danger, how could he help, but then Peter started heading towards the door with a determined stride and collected expression. A picture of pure confidence.
Tony almost believed it too if it weren’t for the violent tremor running down his hands.
“I’m so sorry Mr Stark I- I just… I need you to wait here for a minute,” Peter said hurriedly. Panicked. “And what- whatever happens, don’t say anything okay? You can’t- can’t make a sound!”
Tony’s voice grew dangerously stern as he said “Kid, you better tell me what the hell is going on right now because I’m not a big fan of surprises.”
Peter shook his head stubbornly and opened up the door, refusing to meet his eye.
In an attempt to stop him, Tony went to stand and was immediately met with a protest from his sprained ankle, falling back onto the bed with a groan and being forced to watch as the teen stepped into the hallway. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed when Peter went to close the door behind him. “You hear me kid? Whatever’s going on, you don’t have to face it alone. Let me help you.”
Half concealed in shadows, Peter’s lips turned down into a grimace as he hesitated at the doorway. “I’m sorry Mr Stark,” he murmured, his eyes glazing over eerily like they had earlier. “Just please stay quiet…”
And with that, he was gone.
The door shut with a resolute click and Tony was almost tempted to call out for him, but the screech of tires and the roar of an engine arriving outside was quick to change his mind. The peaceful atmosphere that the fields had maintained was broken in an instant as the mechanical growl echoed into the night, the sound of rushed footsteps descending down the stairs from the other side of the doorway following shortly after.
Whatever was happening, it was anything but good. But worst of all was that it was about to happen to Peter.
The voice that had been whispering “Something’s wrong, something’s wrong,” before was now screaming “HE’S IN DANGER HE’S IN DANGER!” at full speed, and Tony forced himself back onto shaky legs -being sure to avoid his injured one- and hobbled over towards the closed window.
Peering through the darkness, Tony quickly caught sight of the sapphire blue Ranger that had skidded to a halt at the front yard, watching as the door swung open and allowed a man to stumble out of the driver’s seat a moment later. There was the clang of glass as the figure gripped onto the edge of the door for support and hurled into the grass, his horrible retches even audible from all the way over here. It was a little hard to see his face from this angle, but Tony could see there was a bottle clutched in his hand as he swayed his way over to the front porch dazedly.
Tony’s nerves were on fire with dread as the warning alarms became blaring sirens.
Tell me it’s not Peter’s father. Tell me it’s not Peter’s father. Tell me it’s not-
“Dad!”
Tony’s blood went cold at the sound of Peter’s voice drifting up through the floorboards, dragging himself closer towards the door instead of the window as the drunk man disappeared behind the veranda. He had only just leant against the doorframe with a huff when he heard a new voice echo from downstairs, though what he heard only proved to strengthen his fear, not soothe it.
“Wha- What the fuck is that on the floor, huh?”
The voice was slurred at the edges but as cold as ice, and Tony could practically envision Peter’s doe eyes widening in shock and panic.
“I’m- I’m sorry Dad, I had a, a nose bleed earlier and-“
“Ugh! You got it on the fucking carpet!” the voice scowled. “Do you have an-any idea much it’ll cost to clean that shit?!”
“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to-“
Tony’s heart ached at the boy’s wavering voice, only for an anger so powerful it could wipe out an entire planet to flood his system as the man -Peter’s father- began shouting “You’re such a useless piece of shit, you know that? I pay for all your clothes, all your food, all your dumb little projects and this is how you re- repay me? By bleeding all over the fucking carpet!”
“I t-tried to clean it, but- but-“
“Lemme guess, you fucked that up too. Just like you always do, huh?” Their voices began to move, still below but closer to the stairs now. It only made the tremble of Peter’s voice that much more devastating.
“It… It was an accident…”
The man’s voice was as sharp as a blade as he spat “You’re a god damn accident.”
Hell. Fucking. No.
No matter what the kid had said, Tony Stark was not going to sit by and let Peter -kind, generous, intelligent Peter- endure this utter bullshit. The mere thought of a father saying such awful things to their child let alone actually hearing it enraged Tony in a way that no monotonous board meeting or Avengers debrief could. Suddenly there was a fire burning in his chest, and for once, he was ready to let it out. Ready for it to burn down this piece of human garbage and save Peter from the ashes, just like someone should have done a long time ago.
But the moment he turned the door handle he was met with a sudden resistance and the door remained planted firmly in position. “No…” Tony muttered as his hands began searching for the locking mechanism only to find nothing but smooth metal beneath his fingertips. Because the door, the one thing currently holding Tony away from saving an endangered child, had been locked from the outside.
Horror gripped Tony’s lungs as he tested the handle again and pushed against the stubborn frame and asked himself furiously what kind of door would lock from the outside?!
The ones that keep abused children inside, his mind replied unhelpfully.
Damnit. Damnit! Peter had locked him in, probably knowing that he would have tried to intervene when he realised what was happening. God, it was no wonder the boy had been acting so skittish in the afternoon if this is what he knew was going to happen. The thought that Peter had prepared for this moment though almost scared Tony more, and he began looking around the room in search of anything to pick the lock with as the shouts continued to rumble from downstairs.
“Where-… where the hell is dinner?”
It’s the middle of the night, jackass, cook your own food, Tony thought bitterly as he staggered towards the wardrobe.
“I… I didn’t think you were going to- to be home tonight-“
“Yeah? Well you thought fucking wrong.”
Tony’s hands ripped open the small toolbox inside the wardrobe as he heard Peter say shakily “I’ll- I’ll heat it back up...”
“I don’t want heated up shit.”
“It’s, um- it’s your favourite though… I made… I made it for you…”
Oh Peter, you don’t deserve this…
“Well then, what the hell are you waiting for?” the man snarled, so heartless and cruel and enraging to the billionaire listening from upstairs.
Screwdriver in hand, Tony rushed back to doorway as fast as he could with his sprained ankle and got ready to either unlock or break the handle entirely in his frustration. He hadn’t quite decided yet, preferably wanting to save as much anger as possible for the douchebag waiting below.
But then, to Tony’s horror, things went from bad to worse.
There was some more grumbling from the deeper voice. A hiss of a fridge opening. And then, ever so faintly, a sarcastically pitched mumble filling the air.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
Tony felt his blood go cold at the man’s harsh growl, hurrying to release the lock on the door with a sudden flood of adrenaline.
“I-…I…” That was Peter stumbling now, his voice near petrified. “I didn’t say anything, I just-“
The sound that followed next was almost like thunder in the otherwise silent household, and Tony’s heart dropped into his stomach in an instant as he remembered all the times that Howard had backhanded him in his teenage years.
No, it can’t… not to the kid…
“Lie to me again. Go on, do it,” the man’s voice was practically dripping with venom. “Come on. Say it!”
“D-Dad I-“
This time there was a thud, enough for the vibrations to travel up the floorboards and snap Tony out of his own torment and focus on saving Peter from his instead. He considered yelling out and dragging the man’s attention away from the boy, but he didn’t want to risk losing a fight in his current condition and possibly leading to something worse for Peter as a result. At least if he could sneak down quietly he’d have the element of surprise, and then all he would need was a well-timed punch to render the drunken man unconscious.
So, with the threads of a plan beginning to weave themselves together, Tony bit his tongue from trying to call out and worked harder to release the locked door.
Come on, come on! You gotta save this kid, you have to protect this kid-
“Say it again.”
“I di-didn’t mea-“
Another thud. A muffled cry.
“Say it again!”
“’M so-sorr-“
Thud. Cry. Whimpering.
God, please no…
“Say it!”
If Peter said anything it was drowned out by the symphony of shattering glass that shook the house, the man screaming “Lie to me again Peter! Do it! You know what’ll happen if you do!”
Heartbreaking, muffled sobs were the only reply, and Tony could feel the sweat forming on his hands when he realised the lock was only moments away from breaking open.
Just another few seconds, come on…
“That’s what I thought,” the man sneered, heavy footsteps echoing towards the stairs as he called back coldly, “And clean that shit up!”
All the muscles in Tony’s body tensed up when the pounding of the floorboards reached the other side of the door -ready to punch this bastard in the face as soon as the opportunity arose-, only for them to continue down the hallway and disappear with a final, foundation-shaking slam of a door. On one hand, Tony wished he’d had the chance to give that faceless monster a taste of his own medicine, but on the other hand he knew that Peter was more important. Even if he hadn’t been able to stop it, Peter was in desperate need of help right now, and Tony was the only person left who could give it to him.
So, carefully jimmying the door so not to make a sound, his shoulders sagged in relief when the lock finally released, the soft click sounding like music to his ears compared to the horrors he was forced to listen to only moments ago. The door opened without any resistance now and though Tony was careful as he stepped out into the empty, shadowed hallway, he also didn’t waste any time in trying to find the boy who’d been left to the hands of that monster in the neighbouring bedroom. Tony had never seen the house before since he’d been bleeding out and almost dead when Peter had brought him in, but based off the man’s earlier footsteps and the echo of their voices, Tony quickly found the staircase and began to hobble down it. Each step he took sent fire up his leg but it was nothing compared to the dread that had settled over his heart and consumed every nerve until he was almost overwhelmed with adrenaline.
How had he not seen it coming? Tony Stark was a genius, and yet he hadn’t pieced together all the hints -whether intentional or not- that Peter had been laying down throughout their short time together. His skittishness. His self-deprecation. His dead-eyed stare when his father didn’t come home on time. Every moment he’d spent with the boy over the past day seemed to rush back like a tidal wave in that moment, displaying everything in a new and painful clarity.
I’m so sorry Peter, Tony thought guiltily. I should’ve known… I’m sorry…
Planting his socked feet on the floor of the lower level, Tony pushed away the nausea rising in his stomach and turned instead to the adjoining kitchen. At first it seemed empty, but a quick survey of the surrounding rooms showed it was the only one with the light on, meaning that this must have been the right place.
Had Peter moved after the fight?
No, Tony corrected himself. Not a fight. A fight implied that both parties were able to attack, but there was no situation where a child could fairly defend themselves against their drunken, abusive parent. There should never be a situation where they would need to either…
His thoughts were cut off by a muffled whimper from further inside the kitchen though, snapping his gaze towards the dining table and urging him to step towards it.
“Kid?” Tony whispered, mindful that the walls weren’t exactly soundproof and hoping not to attract unwanted attention. “Kid, you there?”
The strained wheeze that followed was all Tony needed before he stepped around the edge of the table and stumbled at the sight laid out before him, gripping onto one of the wooden chairs out of fear of collapsing on the spot. Shards of glass were scattered against the pale, tiled floor and trails of blood were tricking along the grout like tiny crimson rivers, so vibrant and glistening under the fluorescent lights above. And then in the middle of all the chaos, curled up and shivering on the unforgiving floor, was Peter.
The sweet, selfless kid who had saved his life was now trembling on the floor with barely contained sobs, hands stained red and his face hidden in the crook of his elbow.
“’M sorry…” Peter suddenly croaked out, his voice reduced to a whisper. “So-sorry… ‘m sor…”
His incoherent mumbling is what finally tore Tony out of his horrified trance, rushing over and avoiding the glass on the floor until he was kneeling beside the boy with a hand hovering just above his shoulder. “Kid…? It’s me, it’s Tony,” he said softly, soothingly. “It’s gonna be alright Pete. I’m here now… I’m here…”
Every muscle in Peter’s body was as tense as a bow string, waiting… waiting for a punishment he’d been promised for daring to speak at all.
With his own heart shattering, Tony finally rested his hand over Peter’s bicep and ignored the shudder that rolled down his spine in response, whispering “Don’t be afraid kid, okay? I’m here and- and god… you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve any of this…”
Maybe it was his warm voice, or maybe it was the mournful words that never would have been spoken by his asshole of a father, but the boy finally lowered his arm from his face to stare up at Tony in shock. It took everything in the man not to physically recoil at the red, swelling bruise that had enveloped Peter’s eye, or blood smeared down his chin from the cut in his lip, but he shoved away his own dismay and forced himself to smile instead. Forced himself not to show the absolute devastation he felt inside.
You have to keep it together, for him… For Peter…
“Mister Stark…?”
Tony’s gaze softened at the weary murmur. “Hey kid…”
Peter blinked, as if he didn’t quite believe what he was seeing, before his gaze trailed down to his blood stained, glass impaled palms. “Oh…” he breathed, his eyes going foggy again.
Whatever paternal instincts that had somehow survived his years of grief reared back up in Tony like a tsunami as he took a gentle hold of Peter’s wrists and began guiding him to his feet, leading Peter away from the shattered glass and towards the sink with a reassuring chant of “It’s alright kid, you’re safe, I got you… I got you…”
It almost seemed like second nature as he rubbed a hand up and down Peter’s back in comforting motions and rummaged around the drawers quietly with his other hand to find a pair of tweezers. He somehow managed to find one without ever leaving the boy’s side and pulled one of Peter’s shaking, blood stained hands into his own, surprised when he received almost no resistance in response. But the moment that Tony caught sight of Peter’s blank expression, his eyes glazed with more than just tears as he stared off into a different galaxy entirely, he was suddenly awash with guilt.
“I’m not going to hurt you Peter. Never…” he whispered, his own voice cracking at the boy’s name. “Christ, I’d- I’d never even think about it kid… and I’m sorry…”
Peter’s gaze remained unseeing despite his solemn promise, stray tears falling down his cheeks with every sluggish blink.
Every overwhelming emotion building up in Tony’s chest demanded that he comfort the boy until his eyes were alight again with sunshine, but his mind, so used to panic and horror, took over and dragged his attention back to Peter’s bleeding hands. Fix the physical first, then work on the mental later, he told himself firmly.
“This might sting a bit kid, but I need to get the glass out, okay?”
Just like he’d expected, Peter didn’t respond, his eyes remaining empty.
Tony breathed out a sigh and hated himself for feeling the smallest bit grateful for the boy’s dissociation, not wanting to inflict any more pain than he had already endured but needing to get the glass out in order to help him. So steeling his nerves, Tony got to work and began pulling out every little shard of glass that had lodged into his palm with careful precision. One by one. Piece by piece.
Soon enough Tony’s focus began to override the boiling, chaotic emotions that had been brewing in his soul, rendering him a blank-faced machine of his own as he removed shard after shard from Peter’s fragile hands. Hands that used to swing around in excitement and awe. Hands that created amazing formulas and sketched down every idea that came to Peter’s brilliant mind.
Hands that -though clear of glass now- were torn up and bleeding from silent wounds that may never truly heal.
Tony had to blink a few times to realise that he’d finished his job already, glancing up hopefully only to find that Peter had not moved from the position he’d started in, except maybe for a few more tear tracks running down his face. With a deep breath to steady himself, Tony kicked himself back into gear and turned on the tap, ushering Peter’s hands under the stream and watching the water stain red before swirling into the drain. Next, he grabbed some clean cloths out of one of the nearby drawers and tied it around Peter’s hands to stop the blood flow. The wounds were small, but they were many, and Tony didn’t want to take any risks.
“Alright kid, all done,” he murmured with what he hoped was a light tone. “I’ll get some… some real bandages for you soon, once we get out of here-“
“I can’t leave,” Peter said, his voice coarse but eyes still glassy. “I can’t leave the house…”
“Well you sure as hell aren’t staying,” Tony muttered as he guided them towards the nearby chairs.
When Tony lowered him into a seat though that’s when the boy suddenly blinked, as if dragging himself back to reality, and stared down at his wrapped-up palms with a shuddering exhale. Tony was still cradling Peter’s hands in his own, almost afraid to let him go as he sat across from the teen with a sudden weight on his shoulders. Now that the immediate had been resolved there was a lot to address, and it seemed neither of them knew where to begin.
“I can’t leave,” Peter said after a few painstaking moments, the sorrow present in his eyes giving it a different kind of weight this time.
“Why not kid?” Tony asked.
Gazing up at him with wide, teary eyes, Peter whispered “It’s against the rules…”
Tony shook his head. “You can’t stay here Pete. Not with him, not after this.”
“He didn’t mean it,” Peter said, much to Tony’s disgust. “He gets- gets tired sometimes and can’t… can’t control it. It’s not his fau-“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Tony hissed, that rage flaring up in his throat without warning. Peter was quick to recoil at the harsh tone though, and within a heartbeat Tony was back to that soft, paternal voice, saying “I’m sorry Pete, but everything that happened tonight is entirely his fault. A father should never hit their child, never.”
Fingers twitching, Peter said weakly “I shouldn’t have talked back…”
“That doesn’t matter Pete. No parent should hit their child, no exceptions.”
“But-“
“Ah ah!” Tony cut him off with a firm shake of his head. “You hear me? No exceptions.”
For a moment, Peter stared the man dead in the eye, searching for something. Trustworthiness? Safety? Comfort, maybe?
Tony wasn’t sure if he found it or not, but Peter suddenly bowed his head with a pained exhale, whispering “But I’m- I’m his son…” A beat of silence, and then, “H-He cares about me…”
Tony knew this was coming, but it still broke his heart to no end to hear it. He knew deep down that the abuse must have been ongoing, that this had happened repeatedly for Peter to act the way he did, and that Peter may not know how bad it truly was. But the statement, so shaky even in Peter’s own voice, solidified for Tony the need to protect this kid.
Because if he didn’t, then who would?
Fourteen years old and it took Tony, a complete stranger, to accidentally stumble along and almost die at the front of his house for these demons to be revealed. If Tony were to leave without taking Peter out of this hellhole, then he would be just as bad as the monster lying in wait upstairs, just as responsible for the wounds on Peter’s body as if he had thrown the punches himself.
So against all odds, it was up to him now to make it right.
“A father should love their son kid, but this,” Tony squeezed the teenager’s bony wrists, before raising a hand and grazing his fingertips over the edge of Peter’s bruised eye. “This is not love. This is not care. This is wrong, Peter. And I think somewhere inside, you already know that...”
Tears fell out of Peter’s eyes as he stared down at the floor with a strained grimace. “…Where would I go?” he asked, his voice so small, so afraid.
“With me,” Tony replied without hesitation, hope rising in his chest as he added swiftly “We’ll- we’ll go to New York, okay?”
Peter’s deep brown eyes were locked back onto his in an instant, entranced just like they had been every other time he’d mentioned the city but this time with a certain gravity to it. The realisation that he could really see it if he dared.
Seeing his opportunity to convince him, Tony continued hastily “We’ll go see everything. I’ll give you a tour of my tower, and we’ll go to Central Park, and I’ll take you to Coney Island- god, kid, you’re going to love it.”
For a moment there was something- something like hope in Peter’s eyes, and Tony wanted so desperately to cling onto it, only for the shadows to cast over his expression once more. “How will we get there?” Peter asked shakily. “It’s a three-day drive, and there’s no phones in the house to call anyone…”
Tony’s mind was already running at hyper speed so it didn’t take him long to snap his fingers and say resolutely “I’ll hotwire the car outside and call my friend once we reach town. How about that?”
“What about your ankle?”
Damnit, this kid is so selfless.
“We’ll figure something out,” Tony said confidently. “All that matters is that we get as far away from here as possible, alright?”
There was another slither of light shining through Peter’s eyes, but he dragged his teeth over his lip anxiously a moment later and said “He’ll notice though… he’ll find us-“
“I swear to you kid, he will not find us,” Tony said, feeling just as confident as he had the day he came out to the world as Iron Man, or the day he held his son in his arms. “I will protect you, no matter what. All I need you to do, is trust me…”
Such a bold statement. Such a riskier gamble.
They hadn’t even known each other for a full day and yet here Tony was, a stranger in almost every way, promising to protect him like no one else had for his entire young life. Offering to take him to a new city, a new life, a new everything. It was crazy! Absolutely insane.
And yet every atom of Tony’s body knew he was doing the right thing. He’d made many decisions in his life; some not so great, others really not great, but this time, he just knew that it was the right choice. No doubts, no second-guessing. This was the only option.
Now all he needed was for Peter to agree.
And naturally, the teen looked startled, his eyes searching Tony’s face for any sign of distrust or deceit and -upon finding nothing- he ducked his head and stared down at his hands with a sigh. His cut up, bandaged hands that still rested in the palms of the man offering him a chance to escape. A chance for something better. The kitchen remained quiet for a long time, but Tony just let the silence drag on, knowing he was thinking. Knowing that he’d at least gotten him to the point of considering leaving, which was a miracle of itself. And when Peter’s hands began to shake again, Tony rubbed his thumb against his palm comfortingly, watching the ring on his index finger shimmer with each small movement.
Tony couldn’t help but think that James -wherever he was- would be proud of his decision.
And then Peter looked up, his expression surprisingly masked but his eyes alight with emotions, and Tony found himself holding his breath in anticipation.
Come on kid, trust me…
Trust me…
“Okay then.”
A relieved grin broke out on Tony’s face, and he couldn’t help the way his heart fluttered when Peter smiled back.
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