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springtyme · 10 months

Note

Hiii can we get some dating Richie headcanons :)

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐡 ♡

We certainly can! Thank you for the request, I love this disaster of a man so much! I had so much fun with this and I'm so exited for season two 💕 I also couldn't contain myself and made a Richie playlist

word count: 1.4k

Richie had almost given up on love before he met you. Almost.

After a series of failed dates and a couple of meaningless hookups it had seemed to him like love just wasn’t in the cards for him anymore. But then you had come along to prove him wrong.

Despite how he might come off to some, Richie is definitely a lover boy. Putting himself ‘out there’ after his split with Tiff had been hard, but he knew that he deep down, in the essential core of his being, desperately craved to have someone to share his life with.

Someone to come home to and share the little moments with. Someone to rant to about how Carmy had been acting like little bitch about the new dishtowels, or how another building downtown has been torn down to be turned into another fucking nightmarish cement parking house. Someone who he could have a laugh with and who would give him a chance to rise above the label of deadbeat loser that the universe seems to have put on him. Someone who could see him for who he truly is. Someone who wouldn’t judge him or think less of him for having sold a little coke from a back alley in a desperate situation.

Richie will do anything for the people he cares for, so what if his methods are a little unorthodox? He is loyal to the bone and he cares, he fucking cares.

And that is all he wants, someone to care for. Someone to love and someone to love him. That was all that he dreamed of before, but he had started to lose hope.

But then, when he finally had started to come to terms with the idea that that might never happen, he met you.

It had all started with a slightly awkward date. He had been quite nervous, way more than he normally was. You just seemed too good to be true, way too good for someone like him anyway. He wanted to give off a good impression so bad that it slightly backfired, or it maybe would have backfired if you weren't you.

He had been loud and acting confident in a way only a man who’s trying to hide how nervous he actually is can. He had been accidently laughing at his own jokes before the punchline had even landed and stumbling over his own words from time to time, but luckily for him you had found it rather charming. You couldn’t keep the wide smile from spreading on your face as he started rambling about Bill Murray and some old roman goddess.

He had visibly relaxed after you had declared with a smile that you probably had to give him a call one of these days so you could hear the voicemail from the story, but that you certainly wouldn’t mind if he just happened to pick up the phone.

He did pick up the phone when you called, and you were not disappointed in the slightest that it was Richie’s voice and not Bill Murray’s that had greeted you.

That first date turned into another, which turned into yet another one and no matter how scared he was that you would suddenly realize how much of a shitshow his life truly is he just didn’t seem to be able to scare you off.

He’ll be your number one cheerleader, always so proud of you, and he will tell everybody who lets him about you. And he loves to show you off. You are in his opinion way out of his league and he is just so damn proud to have someone as amazing and beautiful as you to call his and to love.

He loves taking pictures of you. Just silly little pictures, you picking up produce at the farmers market or silly little selfies of the two of you as you wait in line at Arby's. He just wants to remember all the nice little moments with you.

He’ll proudly flaunt you on his instagram for all his 36 followers to see (well, 37 now that you follow him)

You will usually try and match your lunch break at work to fit with family at the restaurant. Stepping into the restaurant to be met with a huge smile from Richie is one of the highlights of your day. The staff of the beef are essentially family to him and he is so happy to share you with them. You have become part of that little family and it is more than Richie could ever have dreamt of.

Neither of you are in a rush with your relationship. He is a divorcee with a daughter and you have never had any wild dreams about a wedding or an on paper ‘picture perfect’ relationship with a house and a white picket fence. You just want someone who loves you for exactly who you are and that someone is Richie.

It is about a year into your relationship that you say ‘I love you’ the first time you don’t know if it is late or not but one thing for sure is that the love had been there from early on.

It was four months into your relationship that he had asked you if you would like to meet his daughter and honestly that had been a bigger confession of love than anything else could have been. He loves his daughter more than anything in the world and you know that he would never bring up introducing you to her if it wasn’t because he was serious about you and wanted you as a permanent part of his life.

You had been a little nervous to meet her, you know how much she means to Richie and you had just really wanted her to like you. You had, however, not been the slightest bit nervous about how you would feel about her, she’s Richie’s little girl after all, a part of him, and you love every part of him.

Luckily for you, she absolutely adores you, and you adore her. It had meant everything for Richie to know that his baby girl and you were getting along so well.

It had been on that same night as you had uttered your first ‘I love you’s’ that he had asked you if you wanted to move in together. He had been so happy when you had kissed a ‘yes’ into his lips.

Living together is everything Richie could ever have dreamt of. Not waking up to an empty bed and knowing that you are at home waiting on him when he comes home from work is like a dream come true.

He is an early riser, usually you wake up to an empty bed, and even though you sometimes wish you woke up to warm, morning-cuddles it is always made up for by the sight of Richie in the kitchen. He is usually only wearing one of his, seemingly never ending supply of, ‘The Beef’ shirts and a pair of boxers.

His back will be turned to you as he’s in the midst of getting your coffee ready for you. It has become a fixture in your life with Richie, something you wouldn’t give up, even for all the morning-cuddles in the world.

You will sneak up on him and let your arms sneak around him, hugging him tight from behind and he will lean softly back into your embrace.

If he is having a smoke you will pluck the cigarette from his lips and take a few drags as you squish your cheek into his back and slowly let the comforting smell of brewing coffee wake you up. When the cigarette is smoked and ashed into the sink to later be thrown into the ashtray, Richie will turn around, engulfing you in his long, lean arms and press a gentle kiss to your forehead, kissing a ‘good morning’ into your still sleep-warm skin.

Your relationship with Richie is warm and loving. It doesn’t mean that it is constant smooth sailing, but you always work through the bumps you come across along the road together. That is the true beauty of your relationship with him, the constant reassuring feeling of togetherness.

You are in his life to stay, you are family now and Richie will do anything to keep you happy and by his side.

#richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovixh x you #richie jerimovich headcanon #richie jerimovich #the bear headcanon #the bear imagine #the bear fanfiction #the bear #the bear hulu #thebearweek #the bear fic #the bear fx #the bear x reader #carmen berzatto #springtyme writes

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southparktexts · 27 days

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Enemies to lovers with the main four?

i love this concept so much anon !! thank you !!!

Enemies to lovers w/ main four

Kyle :

- i know damn well you guys became enemies because of grades.

- academic award fights.

- this literally all happened because you two wrote on the same topic but you had one mark more than kyle.

- gave you the biggest side eye

“I can’t believe that THEY out of all people got 100! i got 99 why couldn’t i just get a 100, it was the same topic!”

“…dude. y/n is kinda smart its not that surprising.”

- he complains about you whenever you ‘beat’ him with grades

- you dont even know he got beef with you tbh 😭

- you guys didnt even talk at all, you were just in the same class as him unironically.

- one day, you got paired up with him for a history presentation

- he literally rolled his eyes when he heard that and had a mood when you talked to him.

“so.. ill to information and research and you can summarise my points?”

“yeah. whatever. i don’t care.”

- eventually, after days of the two of you guys doing the project he realised you weren’t that bad of a person.

- i can see, after you guys did your presentation he would ask to be your partner more and you happily accepted

- one day, after having kyle over to do another assignment the two of you went to mcdonald’s together.

- that was probably the first time he talked to you, outside of school work.

- he definitely caught feels for you

- unironically invited you to game night with the main 4

“..dude i thought you hated her.”

“….shes not that bad.”

“I TOLD YOU THAT??”

- definitely got jealous when kenny tried flirting with you.

- after that he unironically got more touchy with you.

- holding hands when you guys hung out after studying maths together.

- one day he asked his dad for advice and he said just to ask you out.

- he did… on text.

- my guy wrote a whole essay on you.

Eric :

- you guys definitely became prank wars enemies. full stop.

- prank wars.

- this definitely started because eric thought it would be funny to put a whopee cushion on your seat

- you saw it before you sat down and he got so fucking pissed.

“WHO DOES THIS BITCH THINK THEY ARE? NOT EVEN SITTING DOWN ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK.”

“fatass it isn’t that personal.”

- from there you and him back to back prank each other.

- ..they got worse as they progressed.

- he put a lot of laxatives and arbys sauce into your lunch once

- in return you put a lot of melatonin into his milk and made him sleep during an exam.

- yall are both fucked up like that 😭

- definitely spends a lot of time thinking how he can prank you and you do the same.

- you’re the only thing on his mind at this point.

“i fucking hate how that BITCH is always one step ahead of me.”

“you gotta admit.. theyre kinda hot..”

“NO KENNY. NO.”

“cartman you talk about them a little too much, its like you like them or something.”

“WHAT?! NO. CMON GUYS.”

“..sure fatass.”

- after stan said that he started questioning his feelings towards you.

- he kinda realised you both are kinda similar in your own fucked up way.

- after that day he made a glitter bomb card with a note inside telling you to meet him at his house.

- you arrived and you guys actually worked out well..

- gradually eric started introducing kenny into the group.

- the three of you started planning pranks on the teacher.

- eventually eric started falling. hard.

- you were always so funny and unique with pranks and he loved that.

- eventually asked you out with a cupcake.

“will you go out with me?”

“hm? yeah sure. ..this cupcake doesn’t have arbys sauce and laxatives in it, does it..?”

Kenny :

- to be honest time !! i personally think you guys wouldn’t be enemies.

- more just mutual annoyance.

- i feel like hes not the type to personally hate someone.

- the only reason he would find you annoying is because you would take the girls when he was trying to flirt with them.

“hey doll.”

“you’re talking to me?”

“oh tammy !! exactly who i was looking for!”

- he gets so annoyed because each time he was trying to talk to them you’d interrupt and drag them away to talk to them.

- one day he was fed up with it but didn’t do anything about it.

“how come y/n knows literally every girl i try to flirt with?!”

“because dude, y/n is cool and popular. their going to know everyone dude.”

“yeah bro.”

“plus they hang around the girls as well”

- after that, you kinda stopped hanging around the girls since they were doing a whole protest about something that you didnt want to be involved with.

- kenny eventually just say you walking around the school, just being yourself.

- he oddly, like it. he liked seeing you act like yourself. not pretend like you did with the girls.

- eventually he invited you to game night with the boys.

- you guys played dnd and had fun!

- after that, kenny would invite you to game night more and you eventually unironically replaced butters.

- you and kenny slowly became close friends and he became more possessive over you.

- one day he had enough of these thoughts about you and just asked you out out of the blue.

“hey y/n! doll!”

“hm? oh hey ken.”

“wanna date?”

“uh sure?”

Stan :

- if im going to be honest.. he doesn’t get enemies, except for craig.

- he definitely gets angry but doesn’t hate you.

- he probably got jealous because of you though, that what ticked him off.

- this is probably right after stan and wendy broke up

- you were wendy’s friend but also being stans.

- he once saw you comforting wendy and he got jealous.

“that backstabbing bitch! y/n is with wendy right now.”

“..dude i thought you said you were over wendy.”

“i- i am but still!”

- complained about you to the boys, slowly he would have something against you.

- since you were also friends with him he would give you a moody response when he replied back.

“how are you holding up, stan?”

“fine. just fine. its not like you care.”

- became more cold and colder.

“god look at y/n over there. at the swings with wendy.”

“dude, why are you looking at y/n so much. do you like them or something.”

“what?? no?”

- he kept looking over at you and he slowly started noticed little details of you.

- how you bite your nails when your shy, how pretty you look when your studyin.. wait.. what..

- slowly started noticing more details about you and since you were friends with him he would hang out with you more.

- became more touchy while you hang out.

- he realised now you were just being nice to both sides. trying to be there for both.

- wrapping his arms around your waist while you two walked together.

- blushing as you talk to him.

- eventually he bottles up all his feels about you and breaks down but in a good way?

- going to your house at 3am, crying as you hold him in your arms on your bed.

“and- and my dad keeps putting all this pressure and me and i love you and its so fucking difficult.”

“i know stan, i know… its alright.. wait. you love me..?”

#kyle broflovski x reader #south park x reader #southpark #southparkheadcannons #southparkimagines #stan marsh x y/n #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #mainfour #southparktexts

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sherwees · 2 months

Text

pizza pizza

cw : very corny pizza boy porn scenario, deepthroating, dumbification, a tinsy tiny bit of fluff, you could tell I had fun with this, colors and links made the fic fun in the process, hendery employee of the month, hendery monster cock, does semen and pizza go together (no? okay then.)

apart of the nct corny porn plots series!

you were hungry as hell.

your stomach caved in with every growl, the intro to that one adult swim show with that one white guy and his friends and it's just beer beer and beer. is that seriously what men only drank? it made your stomach churn, great.. now you were nauseous and hungry.

rolling over sighing, you break your back into an uncanny angle to grab your phone from the floor. you sighed in relief when it came out unblemished, it probably fell when you were having a tantrum earlier about every restaurant being closed.

only little caesars was open.

and you cried.

who wants a greasy pie with cheese and whatever topping, possibly meat in the middle of the night. it'll probably just leave you uncomfortably full and queasy. even the thought at the grease caked up around your mouth was.. ew.. there was a lone chinese restaurant open too but.. just no.

ah yes, maybe you could try going to sleep.

never mind, another fuckass chipotle ad played.

your ears perked to the sizzling and contemporary deep male voice whilst scrolling past an arby's ad, your stomach growled.. to a fucking meat sandwich. oh you were near starvation.

you called up the nearest shop, the receiver sighed before he said, “welcome to.. little caesars.. uhm, how could I help you?” he sounded bummed out but his tone made you roll on your stomach and kick your legs.

“hmmm..– he huffed at your voice– excuse me?”

“what?”

“why'd you do that?”

“do what?”

“THAT.”

he sighs, giving a full visual of the overworked male slumping his shoulders. “do.. what?” the last syllable was dragged out with tiredness.

“you fucking–you let out a dramatic exasperated sigh, attempting to mock him–at me.”

“well maybe–” he paused his objection and realized his actions based off the sudden drop of his tone. “wait.. sorry. uh, I'm just stressed–” he possibly scratched his head based off the small pause. “what do you want..?”

“uhm,” you mumbled, “do you guys still have the pineapple pizza.. urm, special after midnight offer..” it was the cheapest thing on the menu.

“we surely do!” he said weirdly sultry but playfully at the same time. for some reason, an idea popped into your mind.

“um.. what's the total?” you audibly stifled a giggle.

“um.. 7.57.” he mocked you but you didn't process it until way after you got off the phone.

“also.. can you send your hotte–”

“it's only me.” he deadpanned. your smile and giggles dropped, well damn bitch.

“oh.” you hung up and threw your phone across the bed. that was.. uh. em.. urm.. embarrassing. but now you had to wait, confront, apologize to this poor man you managed to stress out within a sentence, go to bed, probably not even eat the pizza, poke the pineapples out and feel embarrassed for the rest of your life.

you spaced out, thinking about the scenarios and possible circumstances you'll take just for him to forgive you. maybe, the second you open the door, you throw yourself into his arms.. maybe, give him a 100 dollar tip.. kiss him.. kill him, hmmmm.. singing confessions II by usher?

the 100 dollar trick will definitely work, but let's double it down to a 20 or a 10.. but first, you gotta find your wallet.

you scrambled to your kitchen to find your purse, rummaging through your lotions, vaselines, lip glosses, car and house keys and finally.. your wallet. opening it, you're met with an array of mismatched cards; victoria secret, bath and body works, marianos..? uhm anyways, your drivers license and your card!

did they take card though?

who even carries bills anymore?

the doorbell rang.

“it's pouring out here! can you open up please, I have your pizza and I really don't wanna get it wet..” his baritone yet desperate voice called from outside the door. you panicked for a bit, hands frantically searching through your papers before you sighed, trudging towards the door.

opening the door, you nearly folded inward at the most delectable man you've ever seen right in front your very eyes. he was literally drenched, his orange shirt clung to his torso; his collar bones being his most prominent feature and the extrusive trail of his abs.

you finally met eyes with him, his brown hair was dewy and besides the vivid familiar smell of pizza, you picked up the scent of rain and nature from him.

why are his eyes so big too..

his nose was really cute and perky too,

ew.. are you checking out the delivery man?!

“pizza! pizza! your double delight.. uh.. hot and ready for a bite!” hendery (you now noticed his name tag) sing-songed, swaying his figure slightly to the imaginary beat.

“here's my card!” he tsked and sighed, gripping the pizza box which you now noticed was weirdly close to his crotch.

“now, why would I take your card..?” he tilted his head with an eyebrow raise, placing one of his hands on his hip.

“because it's the way I'm pay–” hendery rolled his eyes, quite dramatically at your rebuttal and actual stupidness. who the fuck thinks that delivery drivers– especially from a cheap restaurant like little caesars would be carrying a fuckass card reader, that's more for chick fil a.

“does it look like I have a card reader?!” he said monotonous, you noticed that he said it slowly as if you were stupid or something.

oh shit.

his eyes zoned in on your curves before they trailed up to your face, “how bout this, since you're so pretty..” he looked down at the box, sucking his bottom lip before looking back up at you.

“I'll give you it for free, it's on me sweetheart..” his pearly whites flashed for a second in a chaste smile.

“wait? really?!” your stomach dropped in excitement. he reveled in your happiness, he swore your smile was the prettiest.

“they call me the employee of the month for a reason..” hendery said, leaning on the door with the pizza box still tight to his crotch. “how about I come inside, it's pouring out here..” his eyes drifted to the rain jumping off the pavement then back to you with a slight smirk.

“a gift for a gift, yeah?” without waiting for your response, he stepped in with a mischievous grin.

“well, okay then..” you muttered, making sure to keep your eyes on the strange male whilst you shuffle behind him to shut the door.

there was something keeping the box ajar. through the slit, it looked like a tip of something, uhm.. that's not his dick right?

let's hope it's a container of garlic butter.

“uhm, what's that..” the tip of your finger nudged at the foreign object poking out, he hissed at the contact. genuinely, you cannot explain how you felt in that moment. shock, confusion, maybe a bit of terror ran through your body, you tried to pull away but his calloused hand gripped your wrist.

his other hand flicked open the pizza box, was that a pineapple ring around his dick?! your jaw fucking rolled to the ground, why was it so wide, so elongated and veiny and the worst part was.. THAT SHIT WAS LEAKING ALL OVER YOUR PIZZA.

“bro, you're leaking all over my pizza! I was fucking starving!” you whined, snatching the pizza box from his hands and throwing it on the ground.

“well, if you insist..” his hand went to your waist and squeezed before lowering you to your knees slowly. “have a taste..?” his other hand rubbed his massive member leisurely, positioning his cockhead at your pouty lips. “come on now..” he took the pineapple off and threw it on the ground.

you were hesitative, but you at least have to meet him in the middle. you obliged and opened your mouth, looking up at him; you noticed the sharpness of his jaw line. goddamn, he was hot. kitty licking his salty and sweet tip, a blob of precum landed on your top lip causing you to flinch.

he giggled at that. bitchass.

the hand at the back of your hand coerced your head forward, the tang of sweat ran through your taste buds. the taste of pineapple and salt became stronger as he pushed forward and stretched your mouth past your limits, you shivered and moaned. hendery's hand wrapped around your jaw before pressing on your neck, feeling around the bulge of his hefty cock through your skin.

“you're so hungry~ hm?” he ridiculed you before pulling back a bit and slamming himself back in. “don't worry, I'll make sure you're satisfied.” he gripped your locks before maneuvering your head harshly on his member, using your mouth like a cock sleeve.

you gagged, choked and flailed around but he didn't let up, his tip rubbed your tonsils sore. his abdomen was flush with your nose before he pulled out, a trail of spit, phlegm and precum followed.

your face was warm with tears and spit, you looked up at him; he was smirking. hendery suddenly yanked you up and pushed you against the wall, he played with the strings of your pyjama pants. “so fucking cute,” he murmured whilst squeezed your cheeks, his hand was as big as your fucking head.

“tell me what you want, honey..”

“I want my pizz–”

“damn, you'll get your pizza soon!” hendery yelled with wide eyes, shoving his thumb in your mouth. “shit, you're like a fuckin’ baby..” his salty digit rubbed a circle on your tongue, your teeth instinctively grazed the skin of the digit before biting down on it lightly. damn, you were hungry. his free hand shoved your fluffy pants to the floor with a small thud, you winced at the contact of his clammy hand fondling your ass.

it was his turn to fall to his knees, his hands fell to your thighs to squeeze and massage them before he shoved his face inbetween your legs. his tongue spread through your folds, sucking on your clit like a baby bottle.

you moaned and writhed but still had a sense of embarrassment of the sounds that resounded off the walls. he looked up at you with those fuckass doe eyes, you nearly fumbled into a ball of nothing right there. his left moved to your ass but his right stayed at your thighs, your head spun from his doings.

he then started to become reluctant, his eyes rolled back multiple times; immersing himself in the flavors of your savory juices. to be honest, the sounds of him slurping makes you want a baja blast from taco bell.

you just don't know why either.

“fuck do you think you could take me, princess?” hendery pulled away, his mouth messy with slick and a trail of drool dripping and clinging to his chin.

pulling you out of your baja blast daydream, hendery's eyes looked eager and bigg-ER like what the fuck? was he giving you puppy eyes?!

“uhm..” you looked down at his cock, it twitched like it was waving at you. “I'll see.” you shrugged and hendery fucking SMILED. again.

oh my gosh, he's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

hendery stood up, the height difference was now more intimidating now. you only had view of his neck once he came closer, you were kinda upset but lightened (and tightened) up once his bulbous tip rubbed against your damp hole. you could already tell that he was too big, his tip felt heavy..

“wait..!” you screamed before he pushed in, hendery sighed before looking down at you. his brown pupils bored into your uncertain ones, “what if you tear through my ass and create two holes like some king louis xiv shit..” he gave you another fuckass smile but this one was reassuring, you giggled unironically.

“you'll be fine!” he rolled his eyes but this time with a playful intention and kissed your forehead. after almost going into shock, he pushes himself in; you both grunt at the first contact. the smooth ridges of your pussy gripped him so well, practically milking him; hendery even looked at you to see if you noticed but your eyes were shut trying to accommodate to the monster's intrusion.

his shoulders slumped, guess he'll go easy on you. but you were so beautiful when you struggled.. hendery decided to test the waters once he sheathed at your cervix, he craned his neck to bite yours. you only whimpered and helped once he started to pick up a slow, steady pace just for you. the string in your stomach started to get tangled and soon break, you even started to tear up from the waves of ecstasy that launched throughout your body like mini sparklers.

sooner than later, he started pounding into you and everything around you felt humid.. your inner thighs were a sticky mess, it felt like your neck was being sucked by a vacuum and pricked by a toothpick and coated with hendery's slobber mixed with yours. you didn't even realize your mouth was agape, close it.

“sweetheart– holy shit!” you must've clenched around him or something, you didn't know what was what anymore. you might've even been deranged from the fucking monster cock that alternated your intestines functions and forms. “you're taking me so we-ll..” hendery's voice cracked a bit at the end. his jaw was unhinged, eyes shut until he looked down at the connection of your bodies.

hendery's cock swelled and twitched inside of you, emitting another moan from you and causing you to position your leg up higher. you literally wanted him embedded inside of you at this point.

“I think I'm gon–” you cut yourself off once that one particular thrust threw you off the edge. hendery's abdomen tensed when your walls pulsated around him in an erratic, yet unsteady rhythm. but the thing is, your high wasn't as long lived because once your post nut clarity hit you harder than that one ball during gym class in middle school.

you were fucking.. the pizza man.. in the middle of the night.

LIKE A FUCKING PORNO?

man oh man, you were in the fucking gutter, deep in it.. you felt like there was an audience of ghosts making fun of you, this was so fucking embarassing.

hendery pulled out of you with a pop, everything was black. did you go blind?! oh no, you just had your eyes shut. you opened them and gasped once you realized, the dick was so good, you thought you went blind. he started to gather himself but he snatched glances at you like he wanted to say something or do something. but you only stared at the stairs, what else did he expect?

he was only a delivery boy after all.

“deadass..” you croaked out of the blue, a lazy smile forming at the edge of your lips as you pondered on the unknown idea. hope resonated in his soul and visibly on his face when he turned around. “what if you tried the jizz pizza? the one you had your cock all over earlier..” you asked confidently and with a hint of curiosity, your foot nudged at his with a small snort.

hendery looked at the box, then looked at you with reassurance. it's not like you were daring him or holding him at gun point, it was just question. but something urged him in his heart that made him want to please you for some reason, like he needed to.

“are you serious?” he questioned, concern and something else you couldn't sense was etched in his features.

“yeah, try the jizz pizza!”

taglist : @haechansbbg

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animentality · 5 months

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Sorry I started crying at Arby's.

I was just thinking about how the dark urge went their entire life knowing they were made to die for their father, and resigned themselves to that fate, maybe even convinced themselves they were happy to embrace it, knowing nothing but loneliness their entire life, because why bother loving someone, when you're only going to kill them, and yourself, in the end?

But then they met gortash and knew what it was like to admire and like someone, and have a relationship with a person who treats you as an equal and not a monster or an object of worship...the first person to see you as a person...

Only to then lose your memories, forsake your villainy, and take up the sword of a hero...saving tieflings, restoring the shadow cursed lands, saving all of your friends from mindflayers, and the entire city, and even yourself in the end.

You, who were doomed twice, by your father first, and your sister and mindflayers second...two fates which you never should've been able to avoid, but did anyway.

Only, that one person who believed in you all along, who never cared that you were bhaalspawn...

His fate is the only one you cannot change.

He is the only person you cannot save in the end.

You can fight impossible odds. Defy gods and devils and monstrous interplanar enemies of immense astral power.

You can save yourself, hero. From being a villain and from death.

But not him. Never him.

#dark urge #enver gortash #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #durgetash

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kiophen · 6 months

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Re: tags on that ask about callout posts (not the same anon), can I ask about the 4lung situation? I haven't looked into what happened too deeply but from what I have seen nothing is super well documented or explained

If its too much and you don't feel like getting into it don't worry about it, feel free to disregard. I'm mostly just curious since I've heard things and it was mentioned

I was prompted to do my own digging into the whole situation surrounding her a few years ago. She was excluded from an online music event due to someone bringing up concerns with the organizers privately. I found that basically every public accusation about her is not true, and/or redacted by the accusers. The only true accusations are the ones that really don't matter; she retweeted porn on main and was a babyfur. These things were used to bludgeon her with pedo accusations and back up all the fake shit thrown on top to make it more convincing.

"Did you know she attempted to KIDNAP a KID?? Oh, the kid said it wasn't a kidnapping and the accuser said they jumped to conclusions and apologized? Well did you know she TWEETED a SLUR? Oh that was actually photoshopped by kiwifarmers? Well did you know she SEXUALLY HARASSED a MINOR? Oh, that was actually her shitty ex-gf trying to make her look bad in retaliation to a bad breakup? Well did you know x and y and z misinterpreted or fabricated things? Well at least you can agree that being a BABYFUR is something worth ritualistically harassing a trans woman, over right?"

One reason why stuff isn't well documented is because the main person who was pushing the accusations so hard ended up apologizing and retracting and deleting a lot of posts (and also I think they're suspended, which deletes all their tweets, and most of this shit happened in twitter threads). They did get bullied into removing their apology too.

Another reason is that a lot of the situation was people seeing the original callout posts years ago, internalizing the message "This Person Bad Pedo Bad Bad Person Bad" from it, and then later being like "Ummmmm isn't that person a pedophile? Yikes?" to their friend who brought her up who then says "Oh My Fuck I am Sorry I Did not Know that!" and then it just gets spread around like that through uncurious people who don't care enough to check

I have my own collection of archived tweets from when I was trying to find the root of these claims and might make a full writeup about the situation someday, but also I have complicated feelings about whether I would be just be immortalizing this shitty behavior, if it would just lead to more people trying to harm her, or if anyone would even learn anything from it. Also I don't want the person who started the accusations to get dragged back into this since I can tell they were being manipulated and gaslit as fuck by other bullies into making this such a big part of their life for so long.

Specifically about the kidnapping thing: After one of her shows, she and a friend drove a teenager to an Arbys to get picked up by their parent as a nice gesture due to some trouble the teen was having. The situation was catastrophized by either this teen or the accuser into a "kidnapping" (there is conflicting information, they both blame each other) and then the accuser tweeted it out. The teen has since said they didn't really think they were being kidnapped, and the accuser said the kidnapping aspect was made up.

#DO NOT go bother her with this. she has said she does not want random peoples apologies #it feels weird not posting the receipts but i would also feel weird about posting them. if you want them PM me.#ask #miles junk

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dooptown · 3 months

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bringing up Halo 3's writing again, but this time a small part of it that i really appreciate and i don't remember anyone talking about before

the crow's nest intro cutscene is ok (aside from Miranda forcing a weird nonsensical one liner at the end) but my favorite part is after the Prophet of Truth's broadcast is over and Johnson says "Cocky bastard just loves to run his mouth"

and as he says that he pointedly looks toward the Arbiter, and this tiny action says so much about the relationship these two have. Likely, they've spent all the time between the end of Halo 2 and now fighting and planning together, and are pretty much the origins of the human/sangheili alliance. That doesn't mean they have to like each other (Johnson even states this at the end of Halo 2) but already we see him trying to find common ground with Arby.

Like he knows what happened between Truth and Arbiter, between Truth and his people. Johnson is talking directly to the Arbiter here as he tears down and belittles his former leader as a form of comradery, and it's so subtle that i wonder if whoever wrote it thought about it as hard as i have

#halo #ofc this falls flat a bit since arbiter's role in halo 3 is pretty scalped #i would love to read a book that's just arbiter and johnson's adventure between the end of halo 2 and the beginning of 3 #as far as i know there hasn't been anything written abt it yet #they're just best friends ok

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possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

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Chef Au! A date night with fast food (chosen by Ava) and cheap wine (chosen by Bea)

it's not that beatrice's little chef outfits aren't simultaneously endearing and also hot, but when you open your front door and see her in sunglasses and a comfortable crewneck sweater, light, loose pants cuffed casually — although you're sure she was exacting about those too — and sneakers, you realize that you've kind of been missing out. or, really, maybe, she's a fuller person that you could've ever really imagined, only seeing her at her restaurant and a few vineyards nearby you'd tasted at together.

she smiles, a little hesitant, and hands you a simple, beautiful bouquet of lavender wrapped in newspaper and tied with twine. 'from my garden.'

'that's so gay,' you say, before you can stop yourself — but then she laughs and scratches at the back of her neck and you lean forward to kiss her cheek. 'i love them,' you amend. 'thank you.

she nods. 'of course.'

'let me put these in some water and then we can head out.'

'you can dry it, if you want.' she clears her throat, nervous and fidgeting with her watch. 'it's good for simple syrups and reductions. or baths.'

'that sounds dope. i love baths.' you wink and know she's blushing as you put the bouquet on your entry table — artfully cluttered — and then lock the door and turn back to her. 'ready?'

'yes,' she says, unlocking a practical and perfectly spotless electric small bmw suv, and then opening your door for you.

'why thank you, sir knight.'

she rolls her eyes and closes the door, then walks around to her side. 'where to, your royal highness?'

you grin, take her hand in yours while she starts the car. 'arby's.'

'fair enough.'

'i was going to pick panda express, but that seemed... weird?'

she laughs, which delights you. you don't think you've ever heard her laugh like that before. 'i love their orange chicken, honestly. but that's a god tier secret, okay?'

you mime zipping your lips and throwing away the key, which keeps a smile on her face. while she's driving, you get to take in the whole of her, greedily: her dark brows and the gentle sharp of her jaw, the soft buzz of her hair, the tattoos peeking out from under the sleeves of her sweater, the freckles across her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose. and her hands: sure and precise, even just on the steering wheel. she's beautiful, and you're a little overcome. you count your blessings that you wore your favorite bralette and overshirt, wide-leg jeans that make your butt look incredible. your eyeliner is perfect and when you're at a red light, she turns and smiles at you like there's no one else in the world.

it knocks the breath out of you a bit, and you cannot start crying over how pretty a girl is within seven minutes of a first date; you thank your lucky stars when she fiddles with her phone and then some music starts to play.

'shit,' she says, scrolling desperately.

'carly rae?'

'i didn't mean to play that. i don't even know why it's in my liked songs.'

'here,' you say, and put your hand out for the phone because the light is about to turn green. you laugh when you see every single carly rae jepson album fully saved in her liked songs, and you take in the delicious pink of her cheeks when you look over at her with a laugh. 'well, emotion: side b is probably the best album of all time, so no judgement here.'

she bites her bottom lip.

'what were you trying to play, though? what did you think would, like, seduce me?'

'who says i'm was trying to seduce you?'

'well, the gay little flowers, for one. and the fact that you agreed to this silly plan in the first place.'

she waits until the next red light to lean over the console and kiss you — short, and gentle, and very sweet — and you revel in the feeling.

she backs away and turns her attention back to the road in front of you as you start to move again. 'is it working?' she asks.

you laugh.

you settle into her trunk after she parks on the overlook; she's put comfortable blankets and pillows in it so you can eat and watch the sunset, and it's tender and thoughtful and she puts a little fisherman's beanie on that softens her, even more, and it's all driving you a little bit crazy.

'well,' you say, after you both settle in with your chicken fingers, curly fries, and ranch — your order, which she'd promised she would eat — 'please break out the perfect wine to pair with the best dinner of all time.'

she nods very seriously, going along with your antics; beatrice is ultimately extremely serious in the kitchen, even if her food is playful: she hasn't gotten to where she is — one of the youngest chefs to be nominated for a james beard, among a billion other accomplishments she refuses to mention and you had only found out about through a recent write-up about the soft opening of her restaurant — without incredible determination and focus.

she's more playful than you had imagined, full of laughter and willing to be silly; willing to indulge the goofy idea you'd had for this date. she reaches around behind her and pulls out a small cooler filled with ice, then presents the wine with a flourish: 'only the very finest three dollar trader joe's chardonnay. it pairs wonderfully with chicken.'

her little posh accent and her genuine smile make the whole routine even better. 'that is... incredible.'

'you know,' she says, 'i've never failed an assignment.'

'now that i believe.'

she fishes out two red solo cups — which makes you laugh even harder — and unscrews the top of the wine before pouring it carefully. 'do you want to give your review?'

you go through the motions of how you would normally taste a wine, all a little exaggerated. you're one of the most sought-after sommeliers in the world: you can make or break vineyards and their yearly releases; you've been a part of a handful of opening restaurants that have won every award in the book. and, even with all of that, 'this might be one of my favorite bottles of wine i've ever had.'

bea scoffs. 'this wine is absolutely horrendous.' she pulls apart a chicken tender and dunks it in ranch, though, eats it without any complaint.

'sure,' you steal one of her fries even though you have a whole pile of your own. 'but the company elevates the entire thing.'

she turns toward you, the sunset fading orange behind her, turning her eyes gold. 'you make everything better.'

it makes you a little breathless. 'plus, you have to admit, these chicken fingers slap.'

it gets her to laugh, just like you'd wanted. just like you think you could spend your entire life wanting. 'maybe we'll put this pairing on my menu, then.'

'lilith would love that.'

'you know, it could be worth it, just to see her face.'

you scoot closer to her, talk about how her partnership with a local farm is going, how she's sourcing her cod from a fisherman nearby; you talk about your favorite vineyard, a tiny one tucked into the oregon coast — and those things are safe. those things are more of what you already know: she cares deeply about the earth and how her food fits into it; you want to share a stormy grey day and perfect pinot noir at a firepit with her.

and you eat your greasy fries and drink wine that is surely going to give you a headache in the morning. you talk about how she felt finally herself when she finished cooking school and took a job on the line, young and eager and fabulously talented, at a kitchen where she had support, where no one yelled at her, where she had a mentor that cared. you talk about the wine grapes you remember your grandfather growing in your small back yard, how you would eat them when you were small and describe the taste while you sat on your mom's lap. she teaches you her favorite word in chinese and you teach her your favorite word in portugese.

the sun sinks below the river, and you love her.

'do you — ' she bites her bottom lip — 'do you want to come back to my place? for dessert?'

'depends,' you say, and watch her face fall for a split second; you kiss her jaw to rectify that, 'what's on the menu?'

she huffs a laugh. 'i bought nestle chocolate chip cookies, for the occasion. they're in my freezer.'

'oh, fuck yes,' you say. 'i'm so in.'

'and, my company.'

'well, yeah, sure.' you roll your eyes playfully and pull her in for a kiss: cheap wine and grease and the softness of her skin under your fingertips. 'and that too.'

#restaurant au #honestly i'm calling it that bc i don't wanna leave ava out but i simply cannot spell sommelier right on the first try to save my life #avatrice fic #prompts #wn #one day i will research how one becomes a sommelier but for now... imagine whatever you want. i'll get to it lol #they're... very gentle & funny. no angst here

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lizardsfromspace · 1 year

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Oddly Unspecific Poll

#polls

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bones-of-a-rabbit · 2 years

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Just once. Just once I wanna see Moon encounter (attack) a new employee that’s Depressed As Fuck and fueled by Pure Spite and is always this close 👌 to fist fighting god in an Arby’s parking lot. I wanna see the clown go ‘now wait a gotdam this persons almost as fucked up as ME’

Yes this may or may not be inspired by this stupid fucking shitpost I made like two years ago that I found while cleaning out my art files

Just like. Can you imagine. Do you think his caretaker programming would body slam the AftonBug out of existence, even if it’s just like. For a minute. Maybe he just blue screens. Maybe he takes it as a challenge and they both play chicken to see who backs out first while Sun is in the headspace giving the worlds longest continuous scream

my first thought was

Moon: I am going to k i l l you :)

Person: JOKES ON YOU BITCH I WOULD STILL BE WINNING BC I ALREADY WANT TO DIE

Moon: what

Person: what

Moon:

Person:

lights cut back on

Sun:

Person:

Sun: Y-

Person: WELP I think it’s time for me to go!!! Wouldn’t wanna overstay my welcome hAHA BYE

Sun: NOW YOU WAIT A SECOND,

cue reverse of previous scene, where now it’s Sun chasing them through the Plex- but this time they have actual fear on their face

the one thing every neurodivergent person fears: accidentally slipping and saying too much, then actually having to talk about it

#shitpost #silly bullshit #tw depression #tw sui joke #tw sui ideation #suicidal ideation #depression #this is meant as a joke ok I’m sorry if this actually bothers anyone hhfjdhhdh #stupid ideas #fnaf moon x reader #mental illness #tw depression joke #am I this person in said scenario. perhaps #I get mad and I really just be spitting out anything to make everyone else feel upset and/or uncomfortable #writing prompt #shitpost doodle

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workersolidarity · 1 month

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[ 📹 Intense Zionist airstrikes and firebelts targeted various parts of the Gaza Strip on Tuesday morning, with intense bombing and shelling concentratung on the Al-Rimal, Al-Zaytoun, Al-Daraj, Sheikh Radwan and Sheikh Ajlin neighborhoods of Gaza City, killing and wounding many dozens of Palestinian civilians.]

🇮🇱⚔️🇵🇸 🚀🚀🚀🏘️💥🚑 🚨

ZIONIST BOMBINGS OF RESIDENTIAL HOMES RAMP UP ONCE AGAIN ON 165TH DAY OF ISRAEL'S ONGOING GENOCIDE IN THE GAZA STRIP

On the 165th day of Israel's ongoing war of genocide in the Gaza Strip, the Israeli occupation forces (IOF) committed a total of 9 new massacres of Palestinian families, resulting in the deaths of no less than 93 Palestinians, mostly women and children, and wounding another 142 others over the previous 24-hours.

According to Gaza's Ministry of Health, a number of civilian victims of Israel's bombing and shelling remain missing under the rubble of their homes as ongoing airstrikes and occupation soldiers continue to block local ambulance and civil defense crews from reaching them.

As the situation in the Gaza Strip continues to deteriorate, Zionist Internal Security Minister, Ben Gvir, an extremest ethno-centric colonial settler, has now armed over 100'000 Israeli colonists living in what is internationally-recognized as illegal settlements.

According to the Hebrew media, Ben Gvir brags about putting so many guns on the streets of Israel, telling reporters "this week, we reached a milestone at the National Security Ministry: The 100,000th citizen received their firearms license,” Ben Gvir told reporters while standing in front of a poster with an image of a handgun and the slogan “100K Israelis armed."

"In fact, out of 299,354 applications submitted since the war…more than 100,000 citizens have already been approved to arm themselves, because weapons save lives,” he added.

Meanwhile, at least 54 Zionist colonists raided Al-Aqsa Mosque today, with 10 days of Ramadan left, while under the protection of IOF soldiers.

According to local reporting, Israeli occupation forces enforced strict restrictions on visitors to the mosque, known as the third holiest site in the Islamic religion, and limiting the number of Palestinians allowed to visit it.

Far-right ethno-extremist Interior Minister, Ben Gvir, prevented thousands of worshippers from praying at the mosque, even as he issued hundreds of deportation decisions to Palestinian visitors, and demanded that Zionist colonists be allowed to storm the house of prayer.

Meanwhile, occupation bombing and shelling ramped up enormously once again, resulting in scores of casualties across the Gaza Strip.

Zionist forces continued its storming of Al-Shifa Hospital in Gaza City for the second consecutive day, arresting more than 200 civilians and murdering in cold blood another 20 Palestinians inside the Hospital grounds.

Occupation Forces also murdered Brigadier Fayek Al-Mabhough, a Hamas official who was responsible for the coordination of humanitarian aid into the northern Gaza Strip.

Israeli air forces continued heavily bombing the neighborhood around Al-Shifa Hospital, in the al-Rimal neighborhood of Gaza City. Intense bombing and shelling concentrated on Al-Nasr and Al-Jalaa Streets, killing dozens of Palestinians, including 9 family members from the Arbi' family who's house was destroyed by an airstrike conducted by IOF fighter jets on Al-Jalaa Street.

Early on Tuesday morning, occupation warplanes bombed a residential building near the Samer Junction in Gaza City, killing a Palestinian woman and wounding at least three others, including children.

Similarly, Israeli aircraft bombarded a residential house in the vicinity of the Al-Matahin Junction, north of Khan Yunis, in the southern Gaza Strip.

At the same time, Zionist warplanes bombed the Alyan family home near the Haidar Abdel Shafi roundabout, to the west of Gaza City, as well as another civilian home near the Al-Mashal Foundation west of Gaza City, resulting in a number of casualties.

In yet another tragedy forced onto the Palestinian population of the Gaza Strip, at least six civilians were killed as a result of Zionist warplanes bombing the Al-Amoudi family home in the Abu al-Amin area of the Sheikh Radwan neighborhood, located in the north of Gaza City, while additional occupation airstrikes targeted the Al-Sabreen Mosque, as well as the Najm Tower, west of Gaza City.

Occupation fighter jets also bombarded the Tal al-Hawa and Sheikh Ajlin neighborhoods, west of Gaza City.

In another atrocity in northern Gaza, Zionist artillery bombed a group of civilians searching for food in Beit Hanoun, slaughtering 8 civilians and wounding a number of others.

Similarly, IOF fighter jets bombed the Al-Banna family home in Jabalia al-Balad, also in the northern Gaza Strip, tragically martyring at least 8 family members.

Another occupation airstrike targeted an aid warehouse located in the Jabalia Refugee Camp, also in the north of Gaza, killing two civilian employees.

Zionist forces also bombed a UNRWA center east of Jabalia, killing two in yet another war crime and severe violation of International humanitarian law.

The bombing still continues in various parts of the northern Gaza Strip, in particular in Gaza City, with a concentration of shelling targeting the Al-Rimal, Al-Daraj, Al-Zaytoun and Sheikh Radwan neighborhoods, while in central Gaza, Israeli artillery shelling targeted the north of the Nuseirat Camp, as well as the east of the Al-Bureij Refugee Camp.

Occupation aircraft also bombarded the residential home of the Al-Hajj family, west of the Nuseirat Refugee Camp, killing another six civilians and wounding several others.

Zionist artillery forces also targeted Bureij Municipal headquarters in the central Gaza Strip, martyring at least one citizen and wounding a number of others, while Israeli soldiers firing live bullets at civilians near Al-Rashid Street, opposite the city of Al-Zahra, killed one Palestinian and wounded another four others.

At the same time, at least 14 civilians were killed as a result of occupation airstrikes that targeted civilian homes and residential buildings in the city of Rafah, in the southern Gaza Strip.

IOF aircraft launched a total of five bombing attacks in the Rafah area, beginning with an attack on the Al-Malahi family home on Al-Mudarreen Street, in the Al-Geneina neighborhood, east of Rafah, which injured one civilian, while the next airstrike targeted the Abu Al-Rous family home, killing a number of civilians.

Following those strikes, another Zionist airstrike targeted a civilian residence opposite the cemetery on Awni Dhair Street, murdering another three Palestinians, while another airstrike targeting an apartment in the Mohendessin Towers, in the Al-Zuhur neighborhood, north of Rafah, resulted in the martyredom of another three citizens.

The final airstrike in this bloody set of attacks targeted the Jargun family home in the Shaboura Camp, in central Rafah, which killed at least four Palestinian civilians according to local reports.

In Khan Yunis, also in the south of Gaza, local ambulance and civil defense crews said they'd recovered the bodies of three dead Palestinians from areas where Zionist forces recently withdrew.

As a result of Israel's ongoing war of genocide in the Gaza Strip, the endlessly rising death toll has risen in excess of 31'819 Palestinians killed, more than 25'000 of which being women and children according to the United States Pentagon, while another 73'934 others have been wounded since the beginning of the current round of Israeli aggression beginning on October 7th, 2023.

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#videosource

@WorkerSolidarityNews

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