Tumgik
#what do autistic people take to focus i need those
laketoriver · 7 months
Text
Daymn, allegedly according to tumbkr i have posted 100 times. Wowie. Too bad they’re all liars and owe me big money (i’m too serious)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
not even lying which is the worst part. Anyway it’s late have a “poster” of my “blog au” which “technically” “exists” and uh “yeah”. It exists but like i haven’t posted anything i might one day if i figure out how to format it but idk if y’all would like smthn like that lmk.. Au blogs steal my heart you guys are cuties
19 notes · View notes
nanowrimo · 1 year
Text
4 Tips for Autistic Writers
Tumblr media
Autistic writers can face unique challenges when it comes to writing. NaNo Participant Auden Halligan has tips to handle some of those challenges!
So, you’ve just sat down at your desk, all ready to work on your next chapter, but you just can’t seem to start. Something is itching at your brain, and no matter how hard you think, you can’t figure it out. For autistic writers, that itch might be even harder to get around when compounded with autistic inertia, introspection issues, and sensory processing disorder — even if we were super excited to get started, sometimes the stumbling blocks are enough to keep us from going anywhere at all.
Here are four tips to identify your struggles and work around them rather than against them as an autistic writer!
1. Schedule your writing time appropriately
While keeping a schedule can help you stave off unwanted change in your routine, the need to switch to another task when the clock strikes the hour sometimes feels like a monumental task, one that eventually becomes detrimental to your creative pursuits.
If switching tasks is the biggest hurdle to your writing, setting a designated writing time with no other plans around it could do the trick. Oftentimes, just one hour of time to transition from doing dishes to sitting down at your computer to write is exactly what you need to get past that point and find your writing headspace.
2. Make sure your sensory environment is right
Sometimes getting into that writing headspace is harder than normal, but you can’t put your finger on a reason. Chances are, you’re not quite ready until you have your sensory needs met and you can fully focus on your story.
Personally, I like to be on the couch with my water bottle, a playlist at just the right volume, and a comfortable jacket or hoodie on. For you, the ideal sensory space might involve a desk and a snack, a pet nearby, and a quiet room. For others, it could be outside or even at a library or coffee shop. Autistic people are all different and so are their sensory needs, so this one is super subjective — do what works best for you!
3. Take breaks often
Writing can be exhausting, and if you’re struggling to keep going, you might need to take a pause. If you’re like me and struggle with remembering to hydrate and eat once you’re deep in a task, use your break to get some water and a snack. If you’re having trouble staying focused, get up and move around and stim or go outside to give your brain a reset. If you feel like you’ve gotten some good progress done, however small, reward yourself — do something related to your special interest, dance with a pet, and celebrate your little (or big!) win!
The pomodoro method is a good way to keep yourself from working too long without a break, and if that doesn’t work for you, methods like the Eisenhower method with breaks interspersed and even simply inserting breaks into your scheduled writing time are just as valid.
4. Don’t be afraid to skip around
Another thing that often trips us autistic people up is needing to follow the story down its natural progression, from start to middle all the way to the finish. But inevitably, once we’ve gotten past the initial excitement of having the project started, we hit a stumbling block…and the project gets abandoned. I’ve left behind countless projects because I lost interest after hitting a scene I wasn’t excited for after just a few chapters.
To combat this, try writing out of order! Skip ahead to the scene directly after your stumbling block. You could also skip to the next scene your favorite character is in or even to the climax if it helps you move forward. If you’re having trouble putting your first words down, try writing a random scene in the middle of your story to get into the groove of writing your characters.
Alternately, if you can’t abide by the out of order method and really need to get your characters from Point A to Point B, try putting the scene you’re stuck on in brackets. For example:
[Character 1 and Character 2 fight over the decision to kick Character 3 off the team. 2 leaves in anger.]
It’s simple, efficient, and gets you out of that particular rut so you can keep moving toward that sweet, sweet conversation you’ve wanted to write since Day 1.
Now go forth and write, my friends!
Tumblr media
Auden Halligan is a creator through and through. She’s been writing her entire life, but didn’t start participating in NaNoWriMo until 2017–right now she’s working on developing a TV series (or two!) and has several novels and short films in the drafting phase. Auden is currently a college student studying film production and hoping to minor in disability studies. You can find her on her very sparse Twitter at ink.and.spite. Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels
If you’re an autistic writer, check out the Pillow Fort in the NaNoWriMo forums! It’s a group for people who are neurodivergent, have disabilities, mental health concerns, or physical challenges that affect their lives.
5K notes · View notes
clownrecess · 11 months
Text
(Tw for ableism, aspergers, etc.)
I want to talk about aspie supremacists, and accidental aspie supremacy.
First, what does Aspie supremacy mean? It is the belief that autistics with "aspergers" (a bad term for multiple reasons. I've talked about it before.) or those who are considered "high functioning" have a "superior form of autism" and should have more authority or influence within the community. This leads to the marginalization and silencing of high support needs autistics. The concept of "Aspie supremacy" perpetuates an ableist hierarchy that undermines the principles of inclusivity, intersectionality, and solidarity within the disability community.
Aspie supremacists, whether consciously or unconsciously, perpetuate ableism by marginalizing those with high support needs. They speak over us, disregard our experiences, and promote harmful stereotypes that undermine our value and contributions. This behavior is not only hurtful but goes against the core principles of neurodiversity and inclusivity, and I am tired of seeing it so frequently accepted.
Even if it isnt labeled as aspie supremacy, it is still harmful. One of the biggest challenges lies in the unlabelled nature of this supremacy. It often operates covertly, disguised as a preference for certain autistic traits or as a focus on specific experiences within the spectrum. By prioritizing these aspects without acknowledging the diverse range of needs and experiences, we inadvertently silence and exclude people like me.
Unlabeled aspie supremacy is extremely prevalent in both online and in person neurodivergent spaces, usually taking form as a lack of mention, education, and understanding of high support needs autistics. YES, only ever talking about level one autistics and ignoring the struggles and ideas of high support needs autistics IS aspie supremacy, whether purposeful or not. If you are only listening to and reading from low support needs autistics with no attempt to listen to higher support needs autists, you are contributing to the problem.
If this is something you are doing accidentally, I want you to please think about why it is you don't make an attempt to listen higher support needs autistics, and acknowledge your mistake. You should then try to fix this, and begin listening to our experiences, and spreading them through reblogs or similar means.
435 notes · View notes
kira-fluff · 10 months
Text
haikyuu!! neurodivergent headcanons 💕
tw: several listed mental illnesses, some of these are solely off of vibes but most of them I have reasons lol note! I do not believe autism is a mental illness or something that is "wrong" with an individual, hence why the title is "neurodivergent" rather than "mental illness". just had to put that out there! to all my neurodivergent babies I love you! a/n: hello! as a neurodivergent like myself (depression, anxiety, ptsd, bulimia, etc etc) i thought it would be really cool to do an analysis on one of my biggest hobbies (psychological illnesses) and relate them to haikyuu characters! some of them have a deeper explanation because I feel so strongly about it.
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) BOKUTO, hinata, NISHINOYA, atsumu, lev
generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) sugawara, OIKAWA, asahi, yamaguchi, yachi, aone, akaashi, tendo
social anxiety disorder (SAD) asahi, KENMA
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) oikawa
depression (MDD) oikawa, KENMA, kuroo, suna, matsukawa, tendo
autism sakusa, USHIJIMA, kageyama, kyotani, kenma
eating disorder(s) (AND, BND, BED) OIKAWA, KENMA
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) oikawa
borderline personality disorder (BPD) daishou
insomnia kuroo, kenma, osamu
hypersomnia suna
analysis under the cut
it's pretty obvious that bokuto struggles the most to self-regulate, even to others, but I personally believe that oikawa struggles the most with his mental health.
like almost everyone in haikyuu, oikawa is obsessed with volleyball, but he takes it to a point of overexertion and taking his anger and frustration at his own inadequacies out on others.
I really think oikawa's relationship between he and kageyama and he and ushijima are the ones that show how bad his anxiety is
ushijima and kageyama both don't understand the emotions oikawa is feeling which could be written off as them not understanding their talents, but I think it's something more
to me, I feel it is blatantly obvious that ushijima is autistic. he just so frequently seems to be unable to read the emotions of others or takes things literally when it's something else intended. I'm not autistic, though, so autistic community, let me know your thoughts!
bokuto and hinata both have an insane amount of energy, but struggle to be successful in school. sports works for both of them because their focus is constantly needed to be diverted or "all over the place" that it helps them be great players
kuroo is one of those other characters that I feel like I'm reaching to say he has mental health struggles but to me it just comes off in vibes. first of all, any kid with divorced parents should be in therapy so I feel there's definitely some struggles there.
I think kuroo is the type that hides his struggles and pretends they aren't happening. he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does, and so he feels he doesn't have time to deal with the emotions that leave him feeling empty
kenma was someone I immediately felt was autistic. he has so many key factors like an obsession/hyperfocus on his hobbies and trouble socializing (social anxiety).
kenma has some of the strongest evidence toward my beliefs, specifically in this quote: "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. and yet, I'm very concerned about what others think of me." like, tell me that doesn't radiate autistic/SAD vibes!!!!
idk what it is, like inadequacies or what but I genuinely believe oikawa has some kind of trauma. like he's definitely carrying something that so heavily effected him that it controls the choices he makes in life
I don't have much evidence that suna has depression, it's just a vibe because of his mannerisms and what he says. I think it's the kind where it's well-managed, but it shows up in physical symptoms like apathy more than anything.
atsumu gives ADHD vibes solely because of like how all over the place he is and how he can't always seem to properly get out what he's trying to say lol
sakusa is one that to me could be seen as "done with your bullshit" but I think he also hates crowds (like me, I mean who doesn't) and struggles socially probably because of anxiety or autism. not sure!
basing daishou off of vibes, too, because if I'm being honest all I've seen in the show is him having hostile relationships or being on-off with them, though its certain I could be reading too much into it, but that's the fun of headcanons.
do you agree with what I wrote? I would love to hear your thoughts!
242 notes · View notes
martha-autie · 11 months
Text
Levels are important and so is using them correctly.
There is a misunderstanding about levels that borders on abelist. Some of you may have seen others say "levels are harmful to low support needs autistics" or "some days I'm level 1, some days I'm level 2 and some days I'm level 3".
These statements are harmful for an assortment of reasons and I plan to discuss some of those today.
First:
Levels are not inherently harmful to lower aupport needs autistics the idea that level 1 means no support needs, is not built into the level system. Level 1s require support, level 2s require moderate support, level 3 requires a lot of support. Instead of attacking the level system, the focus should be on addressing the incorrect belief that level 1s don't need any support. For moderate and high support needs people, levels can be invaluable. It can be very difficult for me, a level 2, to explain how my autism effects me. Being able to tell my doctors and the government, that I am a level 2 takes the pressure of trying to verbalize how my disability impacts me. If you can explain how your autism effects you that's great but many of us cant and that is why levels are important. It is shorthand for low, moderate and high support needs people who cannot put into words how autism impacts them.
Some may say that level 1s will be denied services due to misconceptions, this could be possible, though I know level 1s on SSI and such. However, the diagnostic criteria notes level 1 autistic people need supports as well. The level system is very beneficial for many moderate and high support needs people and the problem that some level 1s bring up are the fault of misconceptions of the level system that would be better addressed by educating those who think level 1s don't need support, than by attacking the level systems.
Second:
"Some days I'm level 1, some days I'm level 2 and some days I'm level 3".
Is a perplexing and disturbing saying. Many people, often level 1s, use this phrase to refer to their bad days and in argument against the level system. Some will say levels are useless because "some days I'm level 1, some days I'm level 2 and some days I'm level 3". They are referring to how stressful, difficult, or painful a particular day is and conflating it with levels , not referring to an actual level change.
This is problematic because that isn't how levels work. It is also insulting because it implies that level 2 and 3s are always having bad days and that our level is a state of a bad day. It also implies that if level 2 and 3s had better days or better environments they would become level 1s. This gives an unrealistic impression of how varying degrees of autism works and contributes to misinformation that can harm the autistic community.
I would like to share an example of something a low support need autistic person said about high support needs people "they have tricked everyone into thinking they can't do more so everyone does everything for them". This horrible statement is fueled by the idea that levels are just a measurement of good and bad days. I am a level 2, I am not the imbodiment of a moderately bad day, I am autistic person who needs moderate support. Please think hard the next time you say "some days I'm level 1, some days I'm level 2 and some days I'm level 3". And ask yourself, what that statement really implies.
330 notes · View notes
autisticlifelessons · 7 months
Text
Tips for Autistic Students
I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.
If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!
Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.
Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.
Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.
Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.
Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.
Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!
104 notes · View notes
crowborn666-writes · 1 year
Note
hi anon here! i was wondering if u could do a platonic aizawa x student reader? basically reader gets really overwhelmed (sensory wise) at the feeling of clothes on their skin sometimes and it happens one day when they’re in their dorm and they just dunno how to cope with it so they end up accidentally sh relapsing cuz they just need to get their frustration out. aizawa ends up finding out about it and confronts them about it one day after class. gender neutral reader btw. this is oddly specific LMFAOO sorry bruh it’s totally cool if u cant do it! <3 (bonus points if reader is autistic)
Sense
(Sensory overload? Autistic? Sounds like me already lol. I’m more familiar with noise and lighting sensory overload than fabric, so hope it’s ok I stuck those in here as well!)
Aizawa x Student!Reader
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Platonic
Summary: Too much leads you to a relapse, your teacher finds out and wishes to help.
TW/CW: mentions of accidental self harm, mentions of blood/bleeding, sensory overload caused by touch, light, and sound,
(If I missed any, pls lmk!)
~~~~~~
Breakfast was slightly rowdy as usual, Bakugo griping about how Denki and Shoto shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen as he fixes the mess they made. Iida running around handing everyone plates, Kirishima giving everyone a warm good morning with Mina.
You’d no less than sat down in your usual spot when Iida came whizzing by with your usual breakfast, you toss a quick thanks over your shoulder, beginning to eat.
Minutes went by, you quietly eating when the noise seemed to get louder. A glance up made you wince, the lights seeming brighter. Your clothes then began to itch.
You bit your lip, glancing around at everyone’s smiling faces, perhaps if you found something to distract yourself with, you could ignore it.
You focused on your food, trying to focus on the nice taste when someone’s voice went a level higher. Your hand reached for your sleeve, beginning to scratch at the skin just underneath.
The voices only got louder, the light brighter, your clothes scratchier. Louder, brighter, scratchier. Louder, brighter, scratchier. Louderbrighterscratchie–
Breakfast was over, Iida coming by to scoop up your empty plate, most everyone heading to the common room to watch TV together. You changed your usual course, instead of going to the common room with everyone you moved past it, off towards your dorm room. Panicked breaths left you, feet a near blur across the carpet.
The dark quiet of your room was welcomed, but you found yourself clawing off the offending, itchy fabric on your skin.
You lose yourself for a moment, coming back to find your teeth sunken into your flesh and your nails digging angry red lines across your forearm. Small dots of blood bubbled to the surface from the injuries. A small, quiet cry leaves you as the pain registers, both from the injury and from your mind. You’d been doing well…
You shake away those thoughts, taking a shaky breath before moving to your bathroom to clean up.
Faint teeth marks, scratches, nails dug into your palms. You cleaned them all and bandaged the ones needed. You were thankful for the long sleeves on your uniforms, as well as the usually comfortable baggy clothing you wore.
You picked your safest outfit to wear, drawing the curtains slightly to limit the amount of light in your room.
Deep breath. In and out.
You’d be okay. A bit of time here to calm is what you need.
School was a wreck, people were being loud and seemingly more annoying with their antics than usual.
And worst of all, your uniform was starting to itch.
A shaky breath, the urge to scratch and bite and pick and—
You shook your head a little, shaking away those thoughts.
You didn’t bother staying in the lunch room, not wanting to throw yourself into another sensory overload.
A gentle hand brushed your arm as you moved through the hallway, and you turn to see Aizawa-sensei there.
“You don’t look so good, (L/n). Do you want to eat lunch in the classroom?”
You almost wanted to cry tears of relief. You nodded, following behind him to the classroom with your lunch.
“Sensory overload getting to you?” Aizawa piped up, glancing your way. “Iida said you didn’t look so well yesterday morning.”
“Yeah..” you murmured, your wrists trying to urge you to scratch them. “It got bad yesterday.”
“You’re free to talk about it if you want.” He replied, flipping all but one set of lights off as you both entered the classroom.
“…I relapsed…” you breathed, avoiding his gaze.
“May I see the damage?” He asked, setting his paperwork down and taking the seat next to you as you sat down.
You nodded, sure your teacher didn’t miss the way you tried to avoid your sleeve touching your skin as you tugged it back, showing the scabbed over scratches.
“The fabric of my clothes gets itchy, and it’s hard not to scratch sometimes.”
Aizawa nodded quietly, taking your hand gently to assess the damage. “I’ll see if Nezu can get in a change of fabrics for your uniform. The damage here isn’t too bad.”
“I know… but I hadn’t in a long time and—“
“It’s not about how long it’s been, in the end, it’s about if you choose to keep fighting.”
Aizawa let go of your hand, sitting back. “Eat some food, you’ve got hero class next, and you’ll need the nutrition.”
“Thank you, Aizawa-sensei.” You replied as he stood, scooping up his paperwork as he moved to his desk.
“If it gets bad again, you’re free to come in here to relax.”
420 notes · View notes
seahorsepencils · 11 months
Text
Further proof that the end montage is at least partially a Ted hallucination or dream: it takes place after Ted looks at the snow globe, which is likely a reference to the ending of St. Elsewhere (i.e. where it's implied the show was actually all something an autistic kid imagined while looking in a snow globe, a.k.a. the Tommy Westphall universe).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is not to say that the whole show is in Ted's head - only what happens from when he shakes the snow globe to when he wakes up on the plane (holding the copy of How to Change Your Mind: The New Science of Psychedelics). For example:
Roy becoming the football team manager. Ted is the one who wanted Roy to be a coach in the first place, and I'm not convinced Roy would want to be a manager, or at least not so soon - this seems more like Ted is imagining someone stepping into his place.
Nate and Jamie having very positively framed moments with their dads. Both of those storylines were left in a gray area; the level of positivity in those interactions seems more a representation of what Ted wants with his father. Also, if we think of Ted as a quasi-father figure for both characters, this is another replacement narrative showing how he isn't needed.
Sam playing for the Nigerian team. We know this is a goal for him, but it's likely not something that would happen so soon. And probably something that Edwin Akufo would block from happening for the next few years. But the image supports Ted's own personal decision to identify his original country as "home" and to go back.
Trent changing the title of the book. It's not the Richmond way. It's the Lasso way; and Trent knows that more than anyone, so it's very unlikely he would take Ted's suggestion and change the title in real life. This is just Ted minimizing himself and what he was able to uniquely offer the team.
Roy starting therapy with Sharon at the football club. It seems unlikely that Sharon would settle down with a job in one place, when we've been told her tendency has been to jump from job to job. (Again, this might happen eventually, but not so soon.) The function of this scene in Ted's mind would be a further stretch of Roy becoming manager - replacing Ted in his job and then beginning a similar therapy journey with Sharon. (Also, Sharon is wearing the same shirt she wore when she first met Ted.)
The Stonehenge Beard wedding. Insane for all the reasons people have suggested, and specifically, Roy as Beard's best man. Another image of Ted being replaced by Roy.
This is not to say that some of the things can't have happened - it wouldn't be the first time the show has blurred the line between fact and reality, and "Beard After Hours" did this with some very heavy blurring. The final shot in the montage calls back to that episode, with the woman who gave Beard the pants and her partner appearing as two of the wedding guests.
I think Ted wants to stay - not only is he reading a book with the title How to Change Your Mind, but he literally asked Beard if they were making the wrong decision - giving Beard a clear opening to weigh in and say they should stay. He wanted to be convinced. But Beard, in his sleep-deprived state, shifted the focus of the conversation and made it about him leaving Ted, changing the "we" into a "me." So Ted went home by himself. But he still wants to change his mind (hopefully with some psychedelics), and deep down, he has to know that he's wrong and that everyone from Richmond loves him and wants him around. Or if he doesn't, Rebecca and Diamond Dogs are gonna show up in Kansas on her private plane a year later and ask him what the hell he's doing and when he's coming back.
174 notes · View notes
drdemonprince · 6 months
Note
Hi, apologies in advance if this is something you've already discussed or addressed, but I was wondering about whether there is any kind of correlation between autism and increased sensitivity to tragic global events? Maybe I'm just burnt out, but the past couple weeks of turmoil and tragedy in Israel/Palestine has me completely immobilized with anxiety and despair. I don't have any profound connections to the region, Israeli citizens, or the Palestinian people, but my heart aches from it all, especially with the ongoing devastation in Gaza.
I had a similar experience in 2017 from Hurricane Maria, but I had lived for a year on the island where it first made landfall in PR, so I was personally invested and it was a place with which I was familiar. Asking other autistic friends if there's a higher chance of being hyperfixated on or extra sensitive to coverage of international tragedy, I was told my own personal history with trauma and violence/tragedy may just make me more empathetic to others' suffering.
How, as an autistic person, do you find ways to pull yourself out of despair for the state of the world and the suffering of others?
Many people find it compelling to draw a link between Autism and heightened empathy or sensitivity to matters of injustice, for understandable reasons, but the reality is far more complex.
In research, we see that Autistic people are more morally consistent than other people -- we are more likely to sacrifice resources or social standing in order to stand up for the things in which we believe. Because of masking pressures, many of us become highly attuned to the emotions of others -- or what we presume those emotions to be, because of course no person is a mind-reader. We can appear stubborn, to others, in holding steadfastly to our beliefs even when doing so is risky. We are also highly traumatized and thus suffer from hyper-vigilance, trauma triggers, and many other symptoms that may register as us taking emotional blows particularly hard.
It would be comforting to tell ourselves that such traits make us more connected to global events, or actually more morally or ethically invested. But that isn't necessarily the case. Having a strong moral consistency doesn't mean that a person's morals are the correct ones, being willing to make a sacrifice for a cause doesn't mean it was the right cause, and being highly sensitive to the plights of others doesn't mean we actually understand them or are feeling their feelings at all.
For myself, being Autistic is associated with being far less emotionally impacted by such global events than other people. I have very limited empathy, and in situations like these what empathy I do have is entirely cognitively mediated. Global catastrophes and massive injustices don't really emotionally affect me the way that I see them affecting other people -- I don't cry about such things or feel devastated by them, I just think about them a lot in a relatively dispassionate way, and many of the gestures people find moving surrounding such issues do nothing for me.
It doesn't mean I don't care. I actively make the choice to care because of my belief system and values. I have to decide intentionally to dwell on the emotional reality of what is happening. I have to force myself to imagine what others might be feeling, and what others are going through, in order to understand it. Otherwise, to me it is more of an intellectual abstraction, and my focus immediately goes toward what I think the logical solution or means of response might be.
This doesn't make my conclusions any better than anyone else's, mind you. Just because I'm thinking analytically doesn't mean I have the correct information or frame of reference -- in fact, in such matters it often leads me to be oblivious to what others need or what others would consider the morally right thing to do. There's a whole spectrum of human experience I can't access, and while I used to think it made me evil, it's doesn't. It just makes me different.
My friends and loved ones who are more emotionally open-hearted are the ones that remind me to pause, to honor people's grief, to make sense of the emotional and social needs of the moment as well as the ones that strike my numb self as more supposedly practical. My knee-jerk reaction to such situations is to try and jump into problem-solving mode, and I have had to learn from experience that I need to slow down, humble myself, and make space for the enormity of people's feelings and the horror of the things are happening that my body just cannot touch. Very emotionally obvious things, by the standards of other people, completely fly past me.
Still, I am also often frustrated and confused by the reactions other people have to crises -- as a very general rule, humanity tends to reach for means of addressing such events that are symbolic and emotionally satisfying but might not align with their professed ideologies or any kind of articulated strategy. The safety pin thing after Trump was elected, for example, or the blackout squares at the height of BLM. These movements felt good, I guess, to people who were in a state of genuine panic, but they actually did more harm than good.
It's difficult to be what often feels like the sole voice asking whether what the collective is doing really makes any sense. If often makes me seem like I am heartless, which I guess I am, but I am still highly invested in the side I believe to be just winning, and in my annoying fault-finding I'm simply trying to aid in that.
There's benefits and drawbacks to both approaches, is what I'm saying, and there are many routes to caring about an issue and many ways in which caring isn't the same thing as being helpful.
All of this is a bit ancillary to your question. Is it an Autism thing to be sensitive to global genocide? I think that's quite a human thing. Many Autistic people take such matters very very seriously, but some of us do so in ways that aren't as emotional as what you describe. Others are incredibly emotionally impacted by such matters, like you are -- and so are many non-Autistic people. It hardly matters whether it's normal or not though -- this is what is happening for you, and it matters, and you certainly aren't alone in it.
I wish I had advice that came from personal experience, but my experience is somewhat of the mirror image to yours. I find that when people care deeply about an issue, whether it's intellectually or emotionally, they compulsively consume information and upsetting imagery about the issue to a degree they find debilitating. I do this, and you probably do it as well, even if what happens to me is analysis paralysis and fault-finding and what happens to you is probably more like horror and despair.
I believe limiting one's intake is necessary. I believe humility is too. We are not the stars of this story, and we are not so important in the world as to expect ourselves to be experts or saviors. I find that stepping back and gaining historical knowledge places things in perspective. I have learned much by studying the political movements of the past. I have had to develop a true understanding of how the social change I desire really works -- thanks to historical reading, discussion with people I respect, and by consuming leftist theory.
I think it is vitally important to be able to disagree with people, at least in the privacy of your own mind and in your own conduct, so that even if someone is ringing an alarm bell and saying that a certain action is necessary, you have the power to determine if you actually agree. I think it's important to not constantly consume information. We have to learn to know which voices to completely disregard, by asking ourselves what belief system drives a person's claims, and whether they are positioning themselves as an expert for their own self-enrichment and betterment rather than for a just cause.
I think we can't just be moved by the emotional panic of the situation, because we are very easily manipulated, drained of energy, and led astray, and disempowered if we are. But I also think we can't be detached from the human emotional reality of the moment either -- no matter what I think is the rational course of action, the only way humans are ever going to organize and take that action is by speaking with one another, crying with one another, eating together, laughing together, and believing in something better together.
I don't know how to do any of that stuff. I only know tactics and history and theory and fault-finding. There is a place for me in the struggle. There is a place for you in it too. But we are small, and we have to make peace with our smallness and flaws and build a movement that accounts for them, and for a wide variety of gifts and perspectives.
82 notes · View notes
lialacleaf · 8 months
Note
i just read your domestic cooking headcanons and i loved them!! i was wondering if you could do something about ghost and if he had an autistic s/o? as i myself am neurodivergent it would mean a lot :)) something like her / them telling that they have it and explaining a bit more and he's just like wow cool OR simon experiencing them having a meltdown and trying to help? if not, thanks for reading and have a great day!! <33
AN: I decided to do the neurodivergent spectrum in general, I hope you like this! Thanks for the request! I have ADHD so I kinda based this off of what I look for in a partner 😅
Simon Riley x Reader
Head Cannon Request - Neurodivergent
Simon understands that your brain works a little differently than others, but that’s what he likes about you.
Sure he gets that there are decades worth of study, and some of those studies contradict each other even, but he refuses to see you as a diagnostic code instead of a person.
You don’t like to stay at the pub too long when it’s loud, or would rather go grocery shopping late at night when it’s less crowded, and he sees that as a you thing that makes you who you are.
He doesn’t argue when you’re ready to leave an outing, no matter who is begging the two of you to stay a little longer. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been there ten minutes or an hour. If you’re ready to go so is he.
He doesn’t try to make you act like everyone else, doesn’t try to make you “normal” but he doesn’t see it as something wrong with you either. He just sees you, the person he loves and cares about.
He’s very supportive when it comes to the things you struggle with, like sticking to a schedule, or getting easily distracted, but he never babies you, just offers little reminders here and there when he thinks you’ve gotten too off track in your day.
He doesn’t take it personally when you want some alone time, you need space to process your experiences throughout the day, and sometimes you can’t do that while he’s in your space.
He doesn’t focus too much on your diagnoses, he’s scared if he puts you in a box he’ll keep you from achieving your full potential. He just wants you to be yourself.
He’s constantly telling you that you don’t have to explain yourself when you get overwhelmed. He’s kinda sad that other people have made you feel the need to explain your existence to others, as if you aren’t already a valid human being.
He sees you in everything you do, and he chooses to love every part of you.
He also thinks your hyper fixations are adorable. Whenever you love something you really love it and he thinks that’s beautiful.
86 notes · View notes
batwynn · 9 months
Text
Some examples of stims I did while growing up until I was forced to stop each one by an adult in my life:
Humming/whistling
Copying bird whistles
Chewing on my hair
Chewing on pens/pen caps/pencils/etc.
Matching a sound from around me
Repeating words/phrases frequently
Making ‘weird’ sounds with my mouth
Tapping something/tapping a finger or foot
Singing what I was doing
Blinking in patterns
Constant doodling
And undoubtably more that I don’t even remember.
The result of being forced to stop stimming no matter what stim I tried:
Constantly anxious. Constantly.
I started picking at my skin and pulling out my hair.
More outbursts and/or more shut downs.
I formed a stutter under even the smallest amount of stress.
I became less social. Didn’t talk as much. Didn’t feel comfortable communicating to anyone.
I was markedly less happy.
Restless and unable to focus because stimming helped me work with my ADHD side as well.
Confusion, hurt, and isolation because I was then aware that I was ‘weird’.
I formed a huge distrust of adults around me, including family. Which lead to me getting in trouble for not ‘respecting authority’. (Aka: I asked questions and didn’t take what everyone said as a fact.)
I developed depression.
Oh, and I was still bullied for being ‘weird’ so stopping stimming didn’t even help that. Surprise!
Eventual outcome as an autistic adult:
Constant anxiety that I often can’t source and don’t know how to sooth anymore.
No self soothing techniques work or feel ‘natural’ anymore.
I lean heavily on disassociation to get through the day and/or during stressful moments.
I’m accused of faking it, lying, etc. by people because I learned to mask my autistic traits as best as possible.
Frequently don’t have the language for when I’m overwhelmed, and frequently misunderstood when I try to explain that something is bothering me like fabric texture or sounds.
Treated like I’m incompetent, a child, or a collection of both if I don’t behave ‘perfectly’.
Talked down to a lot.
Still picking at my skin and pulling out my hair. 🥲
Constantly feel like I’m lying about who I am/ frequent identity crisis and impostor syndrome mix up.
Trouble with relationships/friendships to different extremes. (Ex: I was groomed as a kid/teen and didn’t know until I was in my late 20s. Have trouble keeping friendships because I just don’t know how to interact with people the ‘right way’.)
I had to teach myself a lot of ‘regular’ social cues and behaviors by mimicking people around me. That unfortunately doesn’t alway work, and/or comes with accidentally mimicking a personality trait/quark/etc. which leads to people thinking your mocking them or copying them.
A lot of rage for the people who treated me like shit my entire life for being autistic.
Moments of feeling very small and childish when things are out of my control.
Feeling guilty/uncomfortable about some things I like because they’re considered childish. (Ex: stuffed animals.)
Fear of any and all interactions with strangers. Fear of not being able to predict where the conversation will go. Fear of extreme negative reactions even when it doesn’t seem realistic for that to happen.
And more that are so ingrained in my life that I don’t even recognize them anymore.
I can’t not think about how my life could have turned out if those adults had let me be comfortably autistic. I can literally see physical differences in old photos of me, where I just stopped being me. Where the happiness and honesty were bullied out of me. And were my stims and behaviors that bothersome? No, actually. I had already learned to do different stims in different environments so I wasn’t being noisy when I needed to be quiet etc. But that wasn’t good enough, so every stim and every ‘weird’ behavior had to stop. Why? Because these adults had a power over me and other children like me, and they liked to abuse it.
It’s abuse. The end.
140 notes · View notes
skelswritingcorner · 16 days
Text
Assistance to Focus (A First Aid x Reader Fic)
With the encouragement of @lovenotcomputed, I wrote this little thingy. If y'all can't tell, I love First Aid a lot.
A/N: This is technically a UA (Universe Alteration), as the characters are written to be closer to G1 heights. Therefore, characters like Ultra Magnus are 20 feet tall instead of 40.
Warnings: Mentions of autistic shutdown, G/T
It was always a struggle to begin tasks, from those that need to be done to those that you wanted to do. That was something you always hated about yourself, even if you knew it was due to your neurodivergent nature. You're sure that the others on the Lost Light noticed this. Unfortunately, you're pretty confident neurodivergence isn't a thing for Cybertronians, so they might not understand.
The only exception was Rung, the psychiatrist of the ship. "Perhaps you need someone to just... push you along to get started." he suggested, "I remember Ultra Magnus told me about that shutdown you had when you couldn't get started on those files, yes? Maybe doing them with someone else at the same time would be beneficial.”
Right. That was certainly a situation that led to several members of the Lost Light panicking because your head was on the desk and you were sobbing and hyperventilating for an hour, tugging at your hair to distract yourself. Ratchet had to make everyone leave the room and have you brought to your habsuite afterwards, and informed Ultra Magnus that you’d be resting for a cycle or two. At least you didn’t hit yourself with a heavy object.
“I understand that, but I don’t know who I’d do that with,” you glanced at the window, “I’m the smallest person on this ship, and I don’t know anyone else other than the ones I interact with the most as the liaison.”
Rung tapped his digits on his chair, “How about First Aid? From what I’ve heard, you two get along quite well.” Oh. Would be a good idea except for the tension you felt around him sometimes, given how your mind goes haywire around him. He is, however, one of the few people that could calm you down from those shutdowns, so it might be your only option.
You sighed in defeat, “If he agrees to it, then yeah.”
Rung nodded thoughtfully, “I’ll ask him if he’ll be alright with that. Is there anything else you want to talk about?” You shook your head. “Well then, until next time.”
You left Rung’s office, walking in the large expanse of hallways to get to your destination. Fortunately, while almost everyone is thrice your height (quite literally, mind you), it’s easy to maneuver around them with a little verbal warning. Because of that, it didn’t take long before you arrived at the medbay.
The doors opened, and you peeked your head before walking inside. There weren’t many people there right now, Ratchet was talking to Drift about… something you didn’t know anything about. First Aid was at the desk, working on medical reports from what you could tell. He shouldn’t be too busy, right?
“Y/N?” Oh, that must be Ratchet. He probably wanted to check on you, given what happened a few days ago.
“Yeah?” you looked up at the red mech.
Ratchet knelt down to address you, “Are you doing alright? I’m sure you’re still stressed from what happened. Are you sure you shouldn’t be resting still?”
You shook your head, “I usually just need a day to recover from a shutdown. I’ll be fine.”
Ratchet squinted, clearly doubting your words. “I doubt that just a day would be sufficient, but alright. Do you need something?”
“Uhh, it’s based on something Rung suggested. He suggested that I have someone else with me to help me get started on the task.” you explained.
“I see,” Ratchet curled his servo, tapping his chin in thought, “Is there someone specific you wanted to assist you?”
You paused, contemplating if you should tell Ratchet. Did he figure out the thoughts you get about First Aid? Ratchet did comment that your face was red the first time you saw him without his mouthpiece at Swerve’s bar, and asked if you were alright. You doubt he realized that the redness was due to you getting flustered. Drift walked up to Ratchet, whispering, “I think Y/N wants First Aid to help her.”
You heard all of it, jumping a little bit. Drift smirked, and Ratchet chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’ll ask him for you.” Ratchet walked to First Aid, exchanging a few words with him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t one you could hear from where you were.
First Aid walked up to you after grabbing some datapads, “Rung messaged me about it just before Ratchet told me, you want me to help you?” A nod was the only reply you gave. “I’ll bring you to a quiet place. I’ll bring some of the paperwork that I can do.” You nodded again, and First Aid helped set you on his shoulder.
The both of you walked to your habsuite, and you grabbed the datapad with the document you struggled to start reading last time. After grabbing a set of ear pods, you and First Aid went to his habsuite. Fortunately, his habsuite was close to your own, so it didn’t take long.
“Are you sure we should do that in your habsuite?” you asked, “Isn’t this meant to be a place for rest?”
“I-” First Aid stammered, “I didn’t know anywhere else that would be without distractions.”
That’s understandable. This ship is pretty hectic, after all. “Well then, let’s do this.'' The both of you walked to the desk in the habsuite, sitting down on the chair together.
First Aid had you situated in his lap, servo splayed slightly on your own as he prepared his set of datapads. Putting in your headphones on a low volume, you played instrumental music as you looked at the datapad you held in your hand. It’s just documents on Cybertonian anatomy, it should be fine. Not like you don’t know anything about robotics at all, everything’s going to be fine.
It took a bit to start, but after some time you began reading the document. It was a bit intimidating, but that’s what happens when you first learn stuff, it’s always a little scary in the beginning. It helped that First Aid was ghosting circles into your thigh, it was minimal enough that it didn’t hurt or distract.
After some time, you finished reading the document. It took some time, but you knew this was the shorter version. A more simple explanation of Cybertronian anatomy, with comparisons between the anatomy of a Cybertronian and the anatomy of a human.
There were no equivalents for some organs, but what made you curious was that reproductive organs weren’t mentioned. It makes sense, Cybertronians reproduce asexually. It wouldn’t make sense for them to have those parts, right?
“You’re done?” the voice from above asked. It sounded a little… clearer than usual? You looked up, seeing First Aid… without his mouthpiece?
“I was surprised, once you began you quickly got in some kind of zone.” First Aid chuckled, “It was fascinating.”
If it wasn’t obvious enough already, your face was heating up. Did he know how flustered you got that time at Swerve’s? Was he using that to get you worked up?
“I, uh, tend to hyperfocus.” you stammered, unconsciously beginning to bounce your leg.
First Aid let out a chuckle, “I’m just teasing you. At least you were able to read through the document without any signs of stress. I didn’t feel you bouncing your leg until now. The most you did was shake them a little.”
Wait, he noticed that?! Well, you were in his lap the whole time, so he likely noticed you stimming?
“Anyway,” his mouthpiece moved back into place, “you’re likely tired from this, right? I’ll bring you back to your habsuite.”
You nodded quickly, grabbing your things before letting First Aid pick you up. After he confirmed that you were ready, the both of you walked to your habsuite. After exchanging goodbyes, you walked into the habsuite.
First Aid walked away, stumbling into Rodimus. “Hello, Captain.”
“Spendin’ time with the tiny liaison?” Rodimus wiggled his optical ridges, implying a possibility of First Aid and the liaison doing something else.
“We’re literally in front of their room, they’re going to hear you.” First Aid mentioned. He knew that, even though the sound insulation for the organic habsuites are pretty good, Y/N’s hearing is pretty sensitive. They could be listening in.
“It’ll be fine,” Rodimus drawled out, “I made sure the best sound insulation is in those habsuites! When I found out that one of the liaisons has super sensitive audials that can’t be turned down, I made sure that theirs especially got the sound insulation.”
All of that made First Aid squint. “Yeah, right. I’m pretty confident Ultra Magnus was the one who had to do that.”
“Oi!”
“But am I wrong? I remember he’s the one who told us Medics about Y/N’s conditions.” First Aid tilted his helm.
Rodimus grumbled, “Ugh, nevermind! We can discuss what I wanted to tell you about at Swerve’s bar.”
First Aid shook his head, “No need. Liaison Y/N and I did not interface, Rodimus. That wouldn’t be professional. Besides, Y/N just joined last week. I doubt that would be enough time for them to feel comfortable doing that.”
“Right. Anyway, we can talk later at Swerve’s.” Rodimus left, leaving First Aid standing there. Guess he can return to the medbay now.
However, while he wouldn’t say it for now, First Aid is catching feelings for the human liaison. They haven’t been there for long, but Y/N has a fond spot in his spark. It’s simply too early to try flirting or being romantic. Sure, he did mess around a little bit to confirm if his face plate without the mask on made them flustered, and it did, but other than that it’s best to be slow.
34 notes · View notes
Text
Character is Believed to Be Fae (But Are They?
Anonymous asked: I'm writing about a french man from the past with albinism, as well as autism, who is treated like a fae by the people in his village. I based this on a hypothesis that a lot of "fae folk" were just people with obvious outlying conditions. The villagers think he deals in "healing magic" when he's merely a herbalist, though he also believes in some fae lore, such as avoiding iron or salt, since all his life he was told he was fae. I want it to be up to reader's interpretation whether he's actually fae or not, with a few moments where he seems to perform real magic but could be explained as a trick or coincidence. How should I go about doing this?
[Ask edited for length]
This is an interesting idea! Here are some things to keep in mind before you start writing:
1 - Research will be essential... Not only will it be important for you to research the period and location of your setting, but also autism and albinism. It would be a good idea to focus some of your research on how things like albinism were regarded in Europe during that era. You'll also need to do some research on herbalism and healers of the period so that you'll know what treatments would be common.
2 - Consider and plan your themes carefully... Part of how you'll tell this story is through the exploration of themes related to how people treat others based on their misconceptions, superstitions, etc. So, you'll want to be very careful about those themes and how you explore them so as not to do anything potentially offensive or harmful to autistic people and people with albinism.
3 - Planning and Plotting - You will need to figure out a conflict, either internal, external, or both, to serve as a framework for this story. This conflict will relate to the question of whether or not this man is actually fae, and could be anything from him trying to get to the bottom of his own truth (internal conflict), to some antagonist causing trouble for him or a quest to find some herb or heal some person (external), or some combination of those (both internal and external). This is going to help you figure out who this character will be treating (whereas the research will help you with the specific treatment), at which point you can think about things like how this treatment might appear to be magic to others, or how it could even appear to be magic to the reader thanks to some trick or coincidence. In which case, you would want to hint at the alternative (did he cure this person due to fae magic, or was it because some explainable thing actually caused them to be healed?) Ultimately, by understanding the conflict, and fleshing out the plot, you'll give yourself a better understanding of what needs to happen and where you can fit these moments in.
4 - Figure Out Your Message - Finally, it's important to think about what you're trying to say with this story. We know the topic you want to explore and how you want to explore it, but what truth or feeling do you want the reader to come away with? Do you want them to come away understanding the importance of seeking science over superstition? Or being open to the magic of the universe even when it seems to go against science? Or something about how we treat people we perceive as being different from us? Or something else? Knowing exactly what you're trying to say, and/or what you want the reader to take away from the story is going to help you fine tune what needs to happen in the story.
Happy writing!
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here
Please allow up to two weeks for a response. ♥
21 notes · View notes
Note
hmm. conversely, most ADHD car?
(A dab o' context for y'all, this ask came hot off the heels of my most autistic car post, hence the "conversely".)
Well, when I read this, I had nothing. But then I thought about it a little, and suddenly, I continued to have nothing.
But you already know that, dear asker, because you're in the blog's Discord server which I turned to for suggestions. And in fact, you chipped in yourself with not one but two picks, first of which the fifth generation Ford Mustang!
Tumblr media
So, pray tell, what brings my elementary school self's favorite car ever ever into this list?
uhh from like a cultural view its an unfocused and hyperactive car with a reputation of not going the way people want (see: crowd meme)
Oh, come on, are we really still not over that stereotype whereby late model Mustangs are owned by people both too eager to show off not to leave a car meet flooring it and too inept to actually keep it under control when they do?
Tumblr media
Well, I guess to get over it it'll need to stop being true.
Tumblr media
But also, being so much of an exhibitionist as to cause physical pain is not about ADHD at all!
Tumblr media
Anyone I invite at my house gets bored to tears with a tour of my every possession...
Tumblr media
...but not because I have ADHD!
Tumblr media
Actually, you know what? That may really be it now that I think about it. Well, anyway, your submission is funny enough to earn a pass even if we don't see eye to eye on this anyway.
How about your second, though?
alternatively: late '90s to early 2000s tuner Civic, for the same reasons
Tumblr media
While he included this picture, he advised to use a worse example, so I took the liberty to present you a historical picture.
Tumblr media
I say historical because this picture was the definition of rice, the textbook example. If Wikipedia had a page for "rice (automotive)" it would feature this picture, probably second behind that blue early 90s Civic which in hindsight we were all wrong about and was actually sick.
Tumblr media
Did you know this was made by a teenager out of metal? I'm digressing.
Friend of the blog (well, pillar of the blog at this point) @demoness-one agrees and suggests:
Honestly riced out clapped out honda civics did come to mind also But i feel like the car that most represents adhd is probably one that isn't finished lol Abstract concept of a car
But she wasn't the only one to vote for her own cars, as friend of the blog and Saturn SL1 owner @chevyventure posted a simple but effective contribution:
Tumblr media
zero executive function between those eyes
Not as simple as friend of the blog @brick-enthusiast's, however, who just posted a Suzuki Cappuccino without comment.
Tumblr media
In respect of that approach I will not comment either.
However, it's time to make my pick too, as in the process of writing this post I finally understood the assignment, and thus came up with something.
What's ADHD? As this blog demonstrates, sometimes it's being hyperfocused on something exciting, much to the detriment of things that actually matter in daily life. Sometimes it's said focus earning amazing results that seem disproportionate to one's means. Sometimes it's taking comfort in the routine, in deeply ingrained habits and tradition that still have to constantly be actively enforced as conscious choice. Sometimes it's being darty, shooting from point to point with speed other minds can't even keep up with. Sometimes it's having too much energy to contain. Sometimes it's... being loud? Oh really! I thought I was just being Italian!
And if you've read my 100th post, you'll know a car that fits that description to a T. (And if you haven't, click on here before reading on because you really want to.)
Indeed, what could be a better pick than a car that's stayed the same for nigh on seven decades in its devoted preservation of its ability to dart around like nothing else on the road, a car so perfromance-focused the comfort spec is the one that gets windows, a car not one bit less deafening than legally required? What could be a better pick than the Caterham Seven 620R, the literal world record holder for spinning around in circles?
youtube
And also just look at it.
Tumblr media
If you're wondering about the number plate, it was made to celebrate its Lego version - yes indeed!
Tumblr media
And if you can believe it, people still gifted me clothes for Christmas.
Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!
29 notes · View notes
astranite · 2 months
Text
*grumble rant mostly complaining in a big block paragraph chucked out to the void* executive dysfunction issues feel so ridiculous because even when i know exactly what step i need to do next— read the articles for uni essay. Why i need to do it— so i have a base from which to figure out a thesis (look that might cause problems in What am i arguing, but thats a solvable issue if i can focus enough to fix it) to do the rest of the next steps. And how— i have no trouble reading or analysing complex texts. None of that fixes the Cannot Concentrate problem. The articles arent even boring and i like learning new things and im the sort of person know to literally read random bits of textbooks for fun. And i Want to do it. Because i like reading and writing and analysing stuff even above it being important for uni work. But ive spent the afternoon scrolling tumblr, checked my email thrice, left bite marks on my good pen, and literally stared at a blank wall rather than read the article on my screen even when i put away the aforementioned tumblr so now i want to scream. And it makes it difficult to ask for help because people assume its one of the other problems as they aren’t familiar with brain literally wont do it. And being “”clever”” doesnt help (even putting aside the frustrating fact that I couldve done this at 15 and done well and wouldve liked it) because its an entirely different thing (uncannily good pattern recognition and Details and long term memory for facts lead to analytical skills because everything ever is a giant interconnected web, but to focus they do not.) And the classic advice of ‘dont be a perfectionist’ which somehow people also go to isn’t actually what is happening here. The reason things are either in a not even submittable note or its living in my head stage or straight up noting then completed to high level (typos and formatting editing aside as at the last minute those are predictably first to go in the calculation of time to marks) is because the gap of executive function between nothing and even done at all is very large but the subsequent gap between done and done well is limited. My very particular flavour of autistic adhd coming through yet?
So hence rather frustrated especially as here i am trying to do the responsible thing of not starting at the last minute because the research alone will Take Time. And given its the final essay I would prefer not to entirely fuck it up. But ah well, so it will begin again trying tomorrow. Probably is character development that im going to Go On A Walk instead of continuing to bang my head against it.
If anyone read this far ✨Welcome to my brain✨
24 notes · View notes
heavyhitterheaux · 4 months
Text
I want to do this before I forget!
2023 was a big year of wins for me, and of course, my Jack Harlow family was beside me through every single aspect of it. Thank you to the ones who continually support me with every reblog, like, and comment and never switched up on me. I am grateful for every single one of you, and I do not take it lightly. I started writing more consistently and posting on here for an outlet to deal with my mother passing, but I never thought I would gain lifelong friends in the process.
Yall cheered me on when I graduated in May
Listened to my vacation stories when I went on my cruise, North Carolina, for a wedding, and of course, the most recent one being Louisville when I met our beloved Urby baby!
And listened to my crazy nurse stories lol
@a-moment-captured Melissa, my bestie, my MiMi 🥹
What is understood doesn't need to be said. I can literally call you at any time during the day or night and know that you will answer. Thank you for always being there for me and your endless love and support. I will continue to push you to be your best self and I know that you'll do the same for me. I think of Coit as my own and thank you for sharing and helping me to understand autism better so that I can be of help to my autistic pediatric patients. Big things are in store for us in 2024!
Hot Chips and Bad Decisions
@hoodharlow and @nattinatalia 😘🥰
I can't even tell yall how much I love yall asses lmaooo
The two people that I literally cannot go a day without talking to. Thank you for always being a listening ear and making me laugh. The two of you know that I will be here for you both until the wheels fall off no matter what. Our group chat is lit, and I already know that it's only going to get better in 2024 lmaooo
@harlowsbby 😘💕
My muthafuckin treacherous twinnnnnnnn
I love you bad, but you already knew that. I love that you feel comfortable enough to come to me and ask for advice about what is going on in your life and I will never shy away from helping to try to get you to make the best decision. You already know since we talked about it to keep your head up and focus on yourself all of 2024, and I feel that it will be amazing for you. Remember, I am always in your corner and cheering you on.
@sinsandsuccubus my little sister Luna 🥹
My sister wife! I absolutely adore you and can always count on you to listen to me rant about absolutely anything. Forever proud of you for graduating this year with a degree in fucking engineering!! A black woman with an engineering degree? UNFUCKINGSTOPPABLE. You are doing the damn thing so you better keep going!
I adore each and every one of you and I pray that 2024 is a better mental health year for everyone and we get those goals accomplished! Remember that I am always here you for if you want to talk and my inbox is always open.
Happy 2024 🥹💕
Love, Muva 💋
Tumblr media
26 notes · View notes