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dealgemeneverwarring · 3 months

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De Algemene Verwarring #107 - 19 February 2024

Episode one hundred and seven of De Algemene Verwarring was broadcast on Monday, February 19, 2024, and you can listen to it by clicking on the link below that will take you directly to the Mixcloud page:

Pictured below is, well, you know who is pictured below don't you? Yes, it's The Birthday Party. Last week I saw Mutiny In Heaven, the documentary about the band made by Ian White, and it was fantastic, for several reasons. First of all, it was a pleasant re-acquaintance with the angry, dangerous, aggressive Nick Cave, who I like a lot more than the quiet and sad Nick Cave we have seen the last few years, and I'm saying this with all the respect I have for the man's tragic losses, I mean, I admire the way he copes with all of that, but musically he has lost me a bit. Of course I was too young to have consciously known The Birthday Party, and I don't really remember 100 % when Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds came on my radar, I think I picked up the Kicking Against The Pricks and Your Funeral My Trial lp's up from the Kortrijk library (again, endless thanks to the Kortrijk library with their fantastic collection), but I don't know if that was before or after I bought the 1988 Tender Prey album, but anyway. The Birthday Party, the aggression, the feedback, the unique guitar sound of Rowland S. Howard, bass god and naughty boy Tracy Pew, the always quiet and sober (except that one time) Mick Harvey and the primitive drum sound of Phil Calvert, they were truly a force. The drinks, the drugs, the pills, and the hunger. The loathing of London, but not exactly a rebirth in Berlin. The making of the Nick The Stripper video. Just go see it. Also fantastic was the entry into the cinema of an elderly couple, they were too late so they had to sit on the front row but then looked around and noticed some more empty seats in the fourth row, so they went there, asked some people to move, and then sat there for ten minutes, after which they left the cinema again. Wrong movie? Wrong Nick Cave? Too loud? Who will tell? Anyway, I'm playing Deep In The Woods in the show, a song that I have always liked a lot because it showed the way Cave would slowly move towards what would become The Bad Seeds but still has that distinctive Rowland S. Howard feedbacking guitar.

There is also a lot of other music in the show, from Dead Nittels, Dat En Wat, The Velvet Underground, Boduf Songs, People Skills, Collate, The Vanishing, Violent Change, The Triffids, Drifting, Z'EV, Organ Of Corti and more! And beneath the photo you can find the playlist for th show. Enjoy!

Playlist:

Dead Nittels: Justizirrtum (7” “Anti New Wave Liga”, reissue on Bachelor Archives, 2020, originally released in 1983, not on label)

The Primate Five: I Need Your Luh (7” “The Primate Five vs The Traditional Fools” on Goodbye Boozy, 2021)

Dat En Wat: Dead Man Blues (LP “Diggin’ For Gold Vol 2, reissue on Rubble Records, 2018, originally released on Smorgasbord Records, 1994 and in 1966 on & 7” on Soho Records)

The Velvet Underground: Foggy Notion (LP “VU” on Verve Records, 1984)

Violent Change: Fabio’s Playhaus (LP “Starcastle” on Sloth Mate Productions, 2023)

The Stroppies: Cellophane Car (LP “Whoosh” on Tough Love Records, 2018)

The Triffids: Raining Pleasure (12” “Raining Pleasure” on Hot Records, 1984)

Boduf Songs: Decapitation Blues (Redux) (7” “Split” Jessica Bailiff/Boduf Songs on Morc Records, 2013)

People Skills: Flag For Gravity (LP “Hum Of The Non-Engine” on Digital Regress, 2023)

The Birthday Party: Deep In The Woods (CD “Hits” on 4AD, 1992, originally released on the 12” “The Bad Seed”, 4AD, 1982)

The Psychedelic Furs: It Goes On (LP “Talk Talk Talk” on CBS, 1981)

The Vanishing: White Walls (LP “Songs For Psychotic Children” on Gold Standard Laboratories, 2003)

Collate: Obliterated By Flowers (LP “Generative Systems” on Domestic Departure, 2023)

Al Karpenter & CIA Débutante: Put On Your Mask (LP “Al Karpenter & CIA Débutante” on Ever/Never Records, 2023)

Z’EV For Manfred (LP V/A “Dossiers” on Dossier Records, 1986)

Drifting: Finding New Age In An Abandoned House (LP “Dream Autopsy” on Förlag För Fri Music, 2023)

Organ Of Corti: Halucinatio (CD “Fanaticus” on New Forces, 2024)

#radioshow #de algemene verwarring #punk #post punk #experimental music #new wave #noise #drones #indie

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ausnaphistoryblog · 6 months

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https://www.thinkchina.sg/korean-war-first-large-scale-war-between-china-and-us-photo-story

dat LMG

"The “anti-communist heroes” of the Korean War enthusiastically waving ROC flags on reaching Taiwan, 23 January 1954. A total of about 20,000 volunteer soldiers were captured, and 14,000 chose to go to Taiwan. "

Defecting volunteer troops going around Taipei in army trucks, holding flags stained with their own blood, 1954.

#korean war

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brooklynislandgirl · 1 year

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Scent meme: "Manicured grass 'n summah air, night-time cooled."

..Would Smell Just As... || Accepting

Even on the roughest of days, in all the time that Ron has known her, Beth has never given any indication of having even the most temporary palsy. So when her hand takes on a faint tremour, visible only because she's got her coffee cup half way to her lips and he can see the deep beige of cream-splashed wave of this external tide. She also doesn't let her gaze stray near him much less her automatic habit of eyes-nose-lips habitual circuit. Maybe she hadn't made a connection between supper out, and a little spot just beyond the outskirts of London with clear open skies. Maybe she'd subconsciously pushed her thoughts aside until he elaborated the question. She tries so hard to keep the natural terror from her face, from letting it strip her voice down to bare-bones a whisper. "Fresh mown grass is one of my favourite kine," the hesitance carries flags in those words. "Reminds me of green tea, an' dis drink you can get a' Starbucks... Like how it feels undah my bare feet touched wi' dew or still sun-warmed. Second only t' walkin' on sand from home." She takes a dainty sip and sets her cup down. "Summah air here is different. In Honolulu. I really like London, but whole island is so cold to me. O'ahu ranges from twen'y six or seven degree in January an' February, alla way up to mebbe t'irty-one or two in summah months, an' dere is a lot of humidity. So mebbe I'm a hot house flowah. Might need, in ya case, f' bring cardigan...or parka. Mebbe some sled dog." An indulgent hand pets Noe's head, which is resting in her lap. "It...it's night time dat...I...I know you know dat da dark scare me, but mebbe it will all be okay if ya promise stay close an' hold my hand, yeah?Cause I nevah really been star gazin' before except a' one planetarium an' I kinda fell asleep."

#Mahalo!Pumpkin <3333 #A Fighter By His Trade|Ron Kray #Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters|Ron and Beth #London Calling|Legend Au #Cedra Court Moments

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marthadiscovertheworld · 2 years

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Colour song

Oh, what a feeling Look what we've overcome Oh, I'm gonna wave-a-wave my flag And count all the reasons We are the champions There ain't no turning, turning back

Saying "Oh, can't you taste the feeling, feeling?" Saying "Oh, we all together singing"

Ready the people A new day has just begun And I wear my colors on my back (Celebrate, celebrate) We're created equal One race, and that's human Can't wait 'til they all see, all see dat

Saying "Oh, can't you taste the feeling, feeling?" Saying "Oh, we all together singing"

Look how far we've come Now, now, now, now (There's beauty) There's beauty in the unity we've found I'm ready, I'm ready We still got a long way But look how far we've come Now, now, now, now Hands up for your colors Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh One hand, two hands for your colors Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Show your true colors

Here we go (Here we go) Let's put on a show (Let's put on a show right now) Let me see your hands up Let me see your hands up Here we go

Look how far we've come Now, now, now, now There's beauty in the unity we've found I'm ready, I'm ready We still got a long way But look how far we've come Now, now, now, now Hands up for your colors Oh, oh, oh, oh There's beauty in the unity we've found (Oh, oh, oh, oh) One hand, two hands for your colors, yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh There's beauty in the unity we've found (Oh, oh, oh, oh) Show your true colors

Here we go (Here we go) Let's put on a show Hands up for your colors Represent your country Raise your flag Show your true colors

#song lyrics #learners #teaching #education

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teacherintransition · 2 years

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Citizen of Texas or Citizen of The World?

When you travel is there any going back to being provincial?

What’s the best thought for retirees? The Great Triumvirate share their thoughts …

Philosophical, open ended, objective discussions… yes, I love ‘em. When you transition in life, you have time for this kind of high minded back and forth instead of the mindless chitchat. (Remember, I hate chitchat) There I was doing some editing on my book writing venture, when out of the blue; Radolpho of the Great Triumvirate, life long friends who were fortunate to retire early, asked an existential question in a text. Should we, those infected with wanderlust, think less of the great Lone Star State of Texas after doing some world traveling? Those outside of Texas would probably think, “who the (four letter word of your choosing) cares? Those blessed through happenstance to be Texans are more than likely divided into two schools of thought: one reacting with “BLASPHEMY,” the other reacting with, “what the hell are you talkin’ about?” No real Texan would ever completely disavow their citizenship in the beloved fraternity of being from Texas…not completely. But, if your reply is along the line of “wherr yu goin wit dat” or “What kind of stoopid quesshun is that” or “Vhat kind uff schtupid qfestion iss zat”… move along, you’ll never understand. Perhaps one might quote Texas songwriter Ray Wylie Hubbard, “Screw You I’m from Texas,” …not me, but someone might.

Rudolpho and I joined in with our views of Texas in relation to the whole, wide world. The conundrum centers around, I think, the world renowned Texas braggadocio. The kind of “Don’t mess with Texas” and “everything’s bigger and better’n in Texas” mentality, you know what I’m talking about! I know of a multitude of folks who say and believe that Texas has everything…why go anywhere else. One must get out of their shells and broaden their horizons. I pray I don’t get my Texas card revoked, but there is a whole helluva lot more to this world than Texas. I’m still here? Let me go further to explain. As the saying goes “Familiarity breeds contempt,” well, not contempt just a bit of boredom? I love Texas history, the Mexican culture (I’m half Mexican), southwestern culture, the variety of geography, the international nature of Houston, Dallas etc, the amazing cross section of music: Blues (Texas Blues) Conjunto (mixture of Norteños and German polka) norteños, Tejano, Rock, the independent spirit of Texas, the historical leadership of Texans (ironically the most historically respected are of the liberal persuasion: LBJ, Barbara Jordan, Ann Richards, Lloyd Bentsen, Sam Rayburn, Ima Hogg)

All that being said I’ve always hated Texas braggadocio… hate it. I believe that Texas is a unique marvel that is culturally and geographically blessed in ways no other states could possibly be. It can also embarrassing to be Texan because of its current politics, it’s mania about guns and it’s ambivalence to school shootings, it’s disregard for public education. I say this knowing that in my opinion, Texas offers more to see, hear, taste and experience than any other state, BUT “Familiarity breeds contempt”… if you love a Whataburger great, but… if you had to eat it everyday? Bleah…To me it’s not enough once you’ve seen parts of the world only dreamed of. “How’re you gonna keep Tha boys on Tha farm now that they’ve seen Paris?” Individual sights like Mt. Denali, the Dolomites, Seattle, Rome … are to individual tastes … but an American location with such a unique variety? It’s hard to beat Texas.

Herein lies the point, the world is vast …for god’s sake …see some of it outside your state! Provincial thinking breeds all kinds of bulls***, like racism, nationalism, jingoism, flag waving chauvinism … and other -isms. We all arrived at a conclusion…it’s not unique, it’s not earth shattering, we aren’t geniuses; but we have opened ourselves to a broader perspective. We side with Socrates on this matter. From Plutarch’s Banishment, Socrates is quoted as saying, “I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.” There ya go…simple and smart. We are citizens of the world and we want to see all we can of it! Cross the borders…you’ll get it.

The best thought for retirees? There is no going back… being an early retiree, it becomes your consuming thought. Time is running out; see, do, hear, taste, travel all you can, you have the time …use it. Expenses might dictate how far you can go, but you can go! And, I gotta go the music:

Cause God blessed Texas with His own hand

Brought down angels from the Promised Land

He gave them a place where they could dance

If you wanna see Heaven, brother, here's your chance

I've been sent to spread the message

God blessed Texas*

*Seals, Brady & Howell, Porter; “God Blessed Texas;” © BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC; 1993

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stairblog-archive · 6 years

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Ey yo, guess who changed her icon for Pride Month???

BONUS DOODLE BECAUSE WHY NOT:

#doodle #dat me #pride month #lgbt pride #bi pride #shoehorning the fact that it is now pride month #the time where i can wave my metaphorical flag on the interwebs

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smittenroses · 2 years

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Hole in Love || human! Montgomery Gator x reader

Merry Christmas, kiss a gator, I've tried to keep this as spoiler free as possible.

not beta read

Also, if you're wanting a visual of how I've written him, here's a link to some fanart I did

update: thanks to Jack over on Archive of Our Own for correcting my use of Sha!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You had never been good at golf, much less mini golf since you had tried it as a child and frankly, after breaking a mechanical obstacle due to one of your swings somehow landing the ball in the engine, you hadn’t even thought of trying again in fear that the same thing would end up happening.

How come you couldn’t give your explanation to the man in front of you when he had asked? Well, how could you let down Montgomery Gator when he was so excited to finally have someone else to play with? When he was excited, his eyes tended to crinkle at the corners, he would shoot a crooked toothy smile and oh goodness how hard was it not to be charmed by his happiness when you had said yes? He rarely got to play his own game with anyone else since families would be playing in their groups, and it wasn’t like his friends wanted to either judging by their hesitance to say no — you knew by their looks that they hated saying no, but watching as Montgomery just nodded and began to drag you towards the golf course, you knew they had their reasons: Roxanne needed to fix some karts before tomorrow since some teenagers had decided to run them into barricades over and over, Freddy needed to go and fix some of the lights in his room since they had gone out, and Chica… well, she was doing something.

It wasn’t like Sun or Moon could even come out of the Daycare either, since they had to clean up a suspicious smell that had begun to come out of the jungle gyms towards closing time and it wasn’t like that was an easy job to find given the sheer size of the room.

That had ended up leaving you, one of the nightguards on rotation that was just there to react to any sort of danger that may be lurking about that the security bots weren’t designed to deal with, in which frankly was a lot, and would mostly leave you free during the night.

The dim lights of the golf course were easy on the eyes compared to the rest of the pizzaplex, the low lit neons casting a green glow onto everything as Monty left you standing in the middle of the entrance, basking in the view as he mentioned needing to collect some stuff to start. You were sure that given he was one of the main stars of the show that the upper management wouldn’t mind if he borrowed some of the items, then again they had begun to cover up the garbage due to finding her with her head halfway in a bin just the week before. What she was looking for was unclear, but the straw that had been sticking out of her mouth when the staff had pulled her out was enough to raise some concern for the star’s health.

Pulling up the cameras on your fazwatch, you scrolled through the cameras for a bit until you landed on Chica’s room in rockstar row, watching as she tuned her guitar for a bit before looking up; she must have noticed the light on the camera was on since she gave you a small wave, you softly doing it back despite knowing that she wouldn’t see it, looking up as you watched Monty shuffle for something inside of a drawer, overhearing him mumble about how they constantly keep changing the position of the scorecards.

“Are you sure you’re not looking in the wrong spot?” You called, Montgomery’s head shooting up to look at you.

“ Alohrs pas! I’m always on their asses about dat. Not my problem if they keep moving them around.” Shuffling your eyes to look at the scorecards next to you, held in a clear container attached to the wall, you pulled two out and called out Montgomery’s name, holding the cards above your head as if they were flags in war. “Well, why don’t ya look at dat.” His cheeks puffed out slightly, the former teased mohawk falling into his eyes slightly as he returned to his full height, basically towering over the desk that he had to crouch at to even look into the drawers.

Taking the bit of paper from your hand, Montgomery spent little time dawdling as he gripped your forearm gently, pulling you over to the first hole, not even needing to look at any of the signs that hung overhead being that this was his territory, this was his domain, and if the vast amounts of water features and alligator-like things strewn about was no indicator, it would be the vast amounts of green which extended to the golf equipment, the handles being in different shades of alligator scales as he handed you a blue one, the matching ball to it being left on the ground by your feet as he prepared his own club, the scratched purple seeming to fit right into his hands as he looked at the courses.

Sure, you have seen him play from a distance, but it was different watching him play in person and up close, how the muscles in his arms rippled slightly as he would position the ball and his club, how they would relax and tense when he got a hole in one — it frankly was something that you swore you could watch all day if you could. The first few holes were easy given that they had minimal obstacles, but that changed soon enough, the scorecards being very far apart in terms of scores. Let us just say… holes in ones were not in your favour. Watching as Montgomery putted another hole in one at hole six, your club clutched tightly in your hand as the man in front of you made it seem like it was easy — to him, it was easy as he has watched hundreds of people play in these courses daily, he would’ve picked up quite a few tips and tricks from others at this point.

“Hon, you ok? You’ve been starin’ for quite a bit.” Those pet names that had made you take out a cajun dictionary the first you heard of them made your heart swell, but blinking your eyes as you looked up at Montgomery, you could see that the gel in his hair had long since loosened, loose curls falling in front of his eyes as he had to stare down at you with his glasses surprisingly sitting on top of his head for once, allowing for you to see the bright reds that you adored with all your heart.

“I was just thinking how I’ll probably have to take a few swings to even get the ball in with the gators in the way,” you didn’t want to admit that you had been staring at him, and sure, while what you said wasn’t exactly a lie, it was a half a truth that made you bite the inside of your lip, gently massaging the flesh between your teeth as you moved around him to place down your ball on the spot, trying to mimic the stance that Monty had been in just before as you felt his eyes on you, watching as you brought the club back and hit the ball.

You could hear your pride getting crushed in your ears as the ball just bounced back towards you, only stopping when it had hit the toe of your shiny leather shoes as you stared down at it; maybe if you glared hard enough at the ball it would want to listen, but that was just in your fantasies, sighing as you used the club and your foot to bring the ball back to its starting position.

Curse you for agreeing to do holes in one.

Aiming to swing again, a warmth engulfed you, the familiar scent of fresh water and some sort of deep forest smelling body spray filling your nose, Montgomery’s hands coming to wrap around yours, his body flushed to yours, chin on top of your head as you felt his breath wash over the top of your head. “Now, if I didn’t give ya some assistance, we’re going to be here until dawn.” he wasn’t wrong, it had taken you several minutes to figure out the right momentum to get a ball over a hill without having it roll back down or flying off into the ball pit, and yet his hold was gentle and firm, moving you gently like a doll as he explained something that fell on deaf ears, your mind going into a frenzy as you could feel his abs pressed up against you, the uniform he tended to wear certainly leaving nothing for the imagination before you saw your ball move, being aware enough to watch as it followed the same path Montgomery’s ball had followed before, the gentle sound of the ball falling into the goal letting you know that you had, in fact, hit a hole in one, and yet your mind was too busy looking at his arms that had yet to leave from around you, feeling him laugh as he congratulated you for finally getting a hole in one first go.

You wanted to stay in his embrace forever. Frankly, you were sure that your little feelings for the man currently holding you were a bit too on the nose for anyone who had been watching on the outside, and not wanting to have your heart give out from how hard it was pounding in your chest, you attempted to move away.

“Now, where do you think you’re going?” He muttered, his hands leaving yours as they travelled up your arms, pressing firmly into your shoulders as he brought you back to him, “I’m not done with you yet.”

Not done? What else could he need you this close for? Feeling him shift against you, he had to bend over in order to place his chin on your shoulder as you craned your head around to look at him; his smile was lazy, his glasses keeping curled locks away from his face as he looked at you through hooded eyes, the green and purple eyeshadow glimmering in the low light as he chuckled.

“So, how’re you enjoying the date?” Date? Was this meant to be a date? Your head began to whirl again, trying to pinpoint the moment he had asked you out on a date, his hands oddly warm against you as he laughed. “Thinking so much of it, sha?”

“No, it’s just…” You began to trip over your words, far too caught off guard to even pull together a sentence as you looked at him, and then as your eyes trailed everywhere, you attempted to find something else to focus on that wasn’t him, “I wasn’t expecting you to say that .”

“I wasn’t expecting you to turn into a blob of jello when I was helping you.” he wasn’t wrong, the way that you had almost melted into his embrace, the way your mind had turned to mush, you were sure that your mind had short-circuited just touching him. Feeling his thumbs rub against your shirt, you felt the rumble of his chuckles against you.

“New rule: whoever has the least amount of swings gets to do whatever they want to the other, yeah?”

Your bets were all in.

#five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's security breach #security breach #fnaf montgomery #montgomery gator #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's x reader #x reader #oneshot #fnaf one shot #reader insert #fluff #⁅ » Writings ⁆

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thebountyfucker · 3 years

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In Control

Cad Bane X F!Reader - NSFW, 18+ ONLY Tags: Domination, cock warming, public sex, spanking, PiV sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, Cad Bane's ridiculous accent

(I'm bad at titles leave me alone lol.)

“I don’ like dat one.”

You lowered the dress in your arms with a small frown, before looking it over. You liked this dress quite a bit - the cut flattered you, hugging your curves in all the right ways. The color made you glow, according to your friend. But as you met Cad’s gaze, you realized he wasn’t bluffing. He chewed on his toothpick with a small frown.

“Why not?”

“I just don’ like it.” He kicked his boots up on the foot rest, and gestured toward your closet noncommittally. “Try again.”

You shook your head and hung the dress back up in the closet, before pawing through the other dresses. Cad watched, his head cocked, trying to catch glimpses of the dresses as you pushed them aside. Your hand touched one, and he grunted.

“Dat one.”

You pulled it out from the sea of dresses, and looked it over. Calling it a dress was… generous. Rather, it was a collection of straps that -though it looked fantastic on you- hardly covered the more private parts of your body. You had only worn it once in public and that was a mistake. You looked at the ‘dress’ and then at Cad.

“Are you sure?”

“Are ya questionin’ me?” He cocked a browridge, plucking the toothpick from between his lips. You thought for a moment, wondering if it was wise to defy him, before shaking your head. You had to pick your battles, and this was not one of them.

“No.”

“No…?”

“Sir.” You answered him, and he chuckled.

“Dat’s what I thought.” He leaned back in the chair and waved to you again. “Go ahead. Get dressed.”

You did as he said, slowly shucking off your shirt, aiming to give him a show. You knew that he enjoyed your form, and hoped that the teasing would get him going. You tossed your shirt aside, before pulling down your pants; his blood-red gaze swept downward, following the curves of your body.

“And de panties too.”

“I can’t advise that.” You replied, and he stiffened a bit. “What I mean is… I need panties with the dress or it shows… more than probably appropriate.”

“I said, no panties.” He drawled, gesturing with his toothpick. “It’s in yer best interest t' listen.”

“Of course.” You pulled your panties off, unceremoniously dropping them to the ground. Cad uncrossed his legs and smirked.

“Dere we go. Look at dat pretty cunt.”

You blushed at this and gathered the dress up in your hands. You slowly worked it on, adjusting the straps so they covered as much as they possibly could. You ran your hands along the fabric, almost shyly.

“Dat one looks good.” Cad complimented. “Don’t it?”

“I guess…” You looked at yourself in the mirror, watching the dress ripple and move. “I thought the point was to not have your rivals staring.”

“I don’ mind dem watchin’... I just don’ want yer eyes strayin’. Ya know who you belong to.” He finally stood, sauntering toward you, a devilish grin on his face. He wrapped a hand around your throat, putting no pressure behind his hold. You watched through the mirror as he leaned in and nipped at your ear. “‘Sides, I want dem t' wish dey were me.”

Cad Bane strutting around like a Pantoran peacock was nothing new; he thought rather highly of himself and his abilities, and would take any chance to show off. Having you as a partner only boosted his image, and he was not opposed to using you in this scheme of his. It’s not as though you minded. You rather enjoyed being his trophy, and you didn’t mind the wayward gazes at all.

“Perfect.” He praised as his grip on your neck tightened - it was just hard enough to make your head spin without causing any bruising. You moaned softly and leaned toward him. “Filthy lil whore… ya look good wit’ my hand ‘round yer neck.”

“Your filthy whore.” You whispered, and he chuckled.

“Mine.” He released his grasp on your neck and instead rested a hand on your hip. “Don’tcha forget it.”

He squeezed your soft flesh, before moving away to paw through your jewelry box. You sat at your desk and started styling your hair.

“Are you dressing up?”

“T’ go t' de Silver Serpent? Ain’t no use in doin’ dat.” He muttered as he pulled out a thick leather collar from your jewelry box and looked it over. He approached, and slipped the collar around your neck; he clasped it in place, before running his hands through your hair. “You’ll be a good girl fer me, right?”

“Of course.” You nodded, though that depended on how he treated you in the bar. You were his submissive, sure, but you wouldn’t take shit you didn’t deserve.

“Good.”

You liked the Silver Serpent* - it was always full of interesting people with interesting lives. Sometimes, you came without Cad just to make acquaintances. The drinks were decent, and Sal** always had a story if business was slow. But Cad changed the entire atmosphere of your visit; this wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily, but he demanded much of your attention which left little time to socialize with anyone else. That, and he was the jealous type. He wasn’t about to let you pay attention to someone other than him.

He pushed open the door and gestured for you to enter. You slipped by him, and he grabbed your ass as you went. You rolled your eyes and chuckled, and together you made your way to the bar. Patrons turned their heads as you walked past, mouths agape and eyes wide. Cad made sure to wrap an arm around your waist, telling those who stared that you were his, and his alone.

He led you to the bar and slid up onto the stool - the bar was busy tonight, with most of the booths and bar stools occupied. Cad was sandwiched between a large Trandoshan and a scrawny human man; you stood beside him awkwardly until he patted his lap. You climbed up onto his lap, nestling down against his scrawny thighs. He flagged down Sal, and bought himself a fine, amber whiskey and you, your favorite drink. Sal nodded in understanding, before glancing down at the outfit you were wearing.

“What the hell?” They blinked, before their gaze met Cad’s. They shook their head and went about their business. Cad’s hands went to your waist, digging his knobby fingers into your soft flesh.

“My cock could use some warmin’.” He drawled huskily, and you blushed at the prospect.

“Here?” You glanced around. It was busy enough and loud enough that the people around you might not notice, but you were also sitting shoulder to shoulder with other patrons. One of his hands slid down your hip and slipped up under your dress; you whimpered as his fingers brushed against your pussy.

“Don’ see why not.” His finger probed at your entrance and you whined into your hand.

“Alright.” You nodded, shifting your hips up enough for him to extract his half-hard cock from his pants; he lined the head of his cock up with your pussy, and you sunk down on him, taking him to the hilt. You moaned softly, your cheeks tinged with a soft pink glow, as you fought against rocking your hips and driving his length further into you. No, that was not the objective of this.

He sat there casually, receiving his drink with a nod; Sal slid your drink to you, eyeing you suspiciously, but they didn’t say a word.

Cad slowly hardened in you, stretching your cunt as he did. You bit your lip, trying to contain the moan that threatened to escape. You wriggled against him, reveling in the tiny movements of his cock against your walls. He swallowed his liquor as if he felt nothing - but you knew he could feel it. The heat which radiated from his chest said as much.

Your nipples pebbled against the thin straps containing them, and you were sure you emitted some sort of pheromones because the Trandoshan turned to look at you. He looked you up and down, his long tongue flicking out to wet his maw. Your pussy tightened against Cad’s cock, and you could feel your wetness leaking out around him. Cad’s cock expanded a bit, and he gripped your hips possessively.

“How much for an hour?” The Trandoshan hissed, his gaze trailing down to your pussy. Cad growled in response, and a hand moved to the blaster at his side.

“Ya better watch yer mouth.”

“Easy, easy. Wouldn’t want to cause a scene.” The Trandoshan raised his hands in defeat. Cad’s hand returned to your hip, which he stroked softly with his thumbs.

“Good.” Cad finished his drink and set it aside. You took a shaky sip, trying to hide the fact that you were taking his cock around all these people. Cad leaned down, his hot breath tickling your cheek.

“Yer cunt takes my cock so perfectly.” He whispered, drawing a whine from your lips. Your pussy quivered around him, wanting so desperately for him to start moving. However, you knew that if he did start moving, it would be over for you. You’d cum in front of everyone. “So wet. So wet and tight. Ya wanna cum, don’tcha? You wanna cum, doll?”

You nodded frantically, and he tsked.

“No self-control. Yer a cock-whipped lil' slut, hm? Half de bar can smell yer arousal, doll. Dey know it’s you.” He whispered, and you leaned back against him, whimpering. Your pussy twinged, and he chuckled. “You think dat’s hot, don’tcha? You like makin’ everyone’s cock hard. Filthy lil’ whore.”

Your pussy drooled at this, and you melted back against him. A heat was building in your stomach, and every inch of you was sensitive.

“Cad, please…”

“What was dat, doll? I couldn’t quite hear ya over de music.” He teased, nipping at your ear.

“Cad, please… I need…” You whimpered, trying to avoid the licentious gaze of the Trandoshan beside you. His nostrils flared as he took in your scent. “I need your cock.”

“Ya have it.” He drawled, and you turned to look at him. He was smirking, that smug bastard. How he was able to be in such a teasing mood, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that he was an asshole, and you needed more of him.

“I need you to fuck me!” You whined, a little louder than you wanted to. Cad’s grip on your hips was bruising at this point, and this only added to your arousal.

“So eager.” He hummed as he lifted your hips, and pulled his cock out. Your pussy clenched, painfully empty and dripping wet. Cad eased you off of him, and gestured for you to move out of the way. “Go to de showers. I’ll be right dere.”

You padded through the crowded bar toward a hallway off to the right. A series of bunk rooms and communal showers lined this long hallway, and judging by the number of closed doors, this area of the Silver Serpent was busy too. You slipped into one of the communal shower rooms, noting the roaring of water. You wouldn’t be alone...

You pulled off the strappy dress and gathered it up in your arms. You silently padded toward a private shower stall, slowing down as you passed the public showers. You tried not to stare at the other hunters showering, but their physiques were hard to ignore. That was one of the things you appreciated about bounty hunters - they were fit as hell. And could likely break you over your knee. Gods, your pussy was drooling again…

“What de hell are ya lookin’ at?” Cad growled in your ear, and you jumped, not expecting him to be so near already. You turned, noting that he, too, was naked. More importantly, you noticed the dangerous look in his blood red eyes, and your heart skipped a beat. You struggled to find your tongue. “Dat’s what I thought. Come.”

He led you to a shower cubicle and shoved you inside. You tossed your dress aside, and watched as he dropped his own clothes as well. He approached, his fangs bared.

“Turn 'round.” He commanded, and you faltered.

“W-why?”

“Just do it.” You didn’t, grinning cheekily as he approached you; you gasped as he grabbed your hips and forced you to turn around. He gave you little time to process what was happening before bringing his bony hand down on your ass with enough force to make it sting. You lurched forward, a half-yelp, half-moan escaping your lips. He smacked his hand down on your other asscheek, and you found yourself leaning toward him rather than away. He huffed, and spanked you twice more.

“Ya don’ go lookin’ at others, got it?” He told you through gritted teeth. “Who do ya belong t’?”

“Me.” You answered, pressing your ass toward him. He growled and swatted at your ass again.

“Who?” He asked, gripping your ass cheeks tightly in his hands. “Get it right dis time.”

“You.”

“Good girl.” He purred as he whipped you around so he could look you in the eyes. “Do ya want my cock again?”

“Yes!” You whined and he turned on the shower; the warm water cascaded down your forms as you lifted your leg and wrapped it around his hip. Cad drew his cock up and down, between the sloppy lips of your pussy. You moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. “Please, Cad… please!”

He slipped the head of his cock inside and plunged his entire length deep within, until he bottomed out. The air fled your lungs, and you were left leaning against the wall with your eyes wide and your mouth agape. Your eyes slowly fluttered shut.

“Is dat what you want, doll? Is dat it?” He hissed, grinding his hips against yours. Your head lolled back and you arched toward him, succinctly answering his question. He eased out, and then back in, his pointed head and ridged length massaging your sensitive walls. Each drag of his cock in and out of you drew pants from you, and that warmth sparked deep in the well of your belly again. “Fuck, doll…”

“Does my pussy feel good?” You asked, breath hitching as he picked up his pace, slamming his cock into you deep and rough. You felt your orgasm brimming, but you held back. Not yet. He had just started fucking you!

“Yeah, doll, real good.” He admitted as he leaned down to drag his long tongue against your pebbled nipple. You were both soaked to the bone, but Cad didn’t seem to mind. “Yer my perfect cock sheath.”

“Cad, I’m close.” You admitted and he glanced up, his blood red eyes meeting yours. “Can I cum?”

“Not yet.” He drawled. “You know de rules.”

You whined as he drove up into you, each thrust deeper and harder than the last. You traced down his scarred chest, trying to distract yourself from the molten warmth in your belly. It was damn near unbearable but you’d hold on for him. As if trying to tease you, he reached down, pressing the pad of his thumb to your clit; despite trying to stop it, you came undone.

You cried out in pleasure, clamping down around his cock; your legs shook and threatened to give out from beneath you as the molten warmth flowed through your body. Your head was in a different galaxy as you rode the waves of your orgasm.

“I told ya not yet! What are ya, deaf?” He growled as he pulled out and whipped you around; he bent you over, and plunged back into you. “Whaddya have t’ say fer yerself?”

“Sorry, sir.” You whispered, and he brought down his hand on your already sore bottom. You let out a pitiful yelp.

“Fer what?” He asked, spanking your other asscheek.

“For cumming without permission.”

“Louder!”

“I’m sorry, sir!” You cried out. “For cumming without permission!”

“Good girl.” He cooed as he pounded into you, his hands alternating between grabbing your hips and smacking your ass. You grabbed your breasts, desperate to hold onto something; you drew your thumbs over your nipples, whimpering as it sent pleasurable shocks down to your throbbing cunt.

He growled, muttering something likely quite profane in Durese; he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you up flush against him. He drew his fangs along your shoulder, and you squirmed in response. It wouldn’t be much longer before he bit down, his fangs piercing your skin, as he came. You bore many scars from the times he bit you… but you loved it. You loved how he claimed you with every fuck. You were his, and you didn’t want it any other way.

His pace grew erratic and sloppy, and you helped out by rocking your hips; his hand shot down to rub circles along your clit, hoping to hasten your second orgasm. His fangs dragged harder across your shoulder, and then, he bit down, cumming deep inside you. You cried out, orgasming alongside him, your pussy milking his cock for all it was worth. Euphoria coursed through you as he lapped up the blood trickling from his new mark.

“There… there we are.” Cad drawled, pulling out of you and handing you the soap. “Clean up. I got somethin’ t’ attend to.”

“What?” You asked as you watched him mop off with a towel.

“It’s just business, doll. Nothin’ important.” He slowly dressed, casting glances over to you as you cleaned up the cum dripping from your sensitive cunt. “I’ll be back fer ya.”

He ducked out of the shower stall without another word. You shook your head with a small smile. Only he would be so intent to attend to business after fucking.

*The Silver Serpent: A bar and bunkhouse owned by the Bounty Hunter's Guild. Bounty hunters are allowed to stay there free while on jobs/between jobs. (I don't know if Cad's a part of the Guild. I don't care. He can use it either way lol)

** Sal is the nonbinary Togrutan bartender who sort of runs the place.

Both Sal and The Silver Serpent were introduced here

#cad bane #star wars smut #smut #star wars fanfic #iri writes #my fanfiction

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b00t-s · 3 years

Text

We're all gossip-y bitches sometimes

this is part two

Janus xey/xem

Roman she/he

Patton he/him

Virgil he/him

See the character intros for more info

TW. Swearing, arguments, alcohol, drunk characters, the word v//mit is used once, characters being characters, past trauma mentioned, tiny tiny tiny sprinkle of angst but just a passing of it at end, and nothing to intense

Again, tell me if I'm being insensitive. Shout at me if I am.

Summary: Patton goes to talk to Janus about Roman. The group opens...'some' bottles. Virgil adds on some...interesting opinions.

Events occur few hours after this.

Janus just finished xeir nightly shift when Patton came bounding up to xem. Janus raised an eyebrow at how ecstatic he looked.

"Yes?" Xey managed out, forcing back the hundreds of snarky comments xey could of said right then.

"Can you hang out at My house later?" Patton practically beamed out.

"why would I want to 'hang out'? It's just a social construct created to give people a higher sense of being." Janus remarked, flipping to closed/open side to closed.

"So you'll be there?"

"hmm. Will doom-and-gloom be there?

"doom and---ohhh, Virge. Yeah, probably," Patton realised now that this was a bad mix of people to invite "probably-probably not for long though!"

"Fine" Janus replied, taking off xeir apron. Xey ignored the obvious lie. "I'll be there in an hour." Xey knew one way or another xey would end up there due to Patton's... effective persuading.

"Great!" Patton exclaimed "oh yeah, and...um...it's raining outside so..take my umbrella, kay?"

His tone more serious all of a sudden, Patton nodded to Janus' heavily made up face, so well done an ignorant bystander wouldn't of noticed the thick layers of foundation on xeir face.

Patton handed xem a translucent umbrella, patterned with cute frogs and flowers, to Janus. Ignoring the distasteful cartoons, Janus nodded and took the umbrella.

"See you soon, Jan!" Patton cheerily waved as he bounced off.

Janus folded xeir apron, opened Patton's umbrella and braved the outdoors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janus arrived at Patton's house exactly on time, bone dry, despite the heavily flowing rain. Patton expected nothing less of his friend. He invited xem inside, amazed as always by his friend's everyday fashion.

Jan was wearing a casual yellow shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. Fishnet gloves adorned xeir hands, and xeir ruffled hair was let lose.

Xeir fashionably messy hair was topped with a neatly placed black fedora, which of xey never took off. Xey even scarred persuaded Thomas to let xem wear it to work.

Patton offered xem a smile, and walked xem upstairs. "Hi Jan!" He grinned.

"Hello" xey replied mundanely.

Xey absent-mindedly glanced at Patton's outfit, which contained a violet cashmere sweater, bell bottomed jeans, circular silver glasses and a sunflower clip in his perfect curls.

It was a good look, xey had to admit.

When they both reached Patton's room, Janus stood still, taking in xeir surroundings.

Patton's room was covered with things from the 2000's; Tamagotchi's, stickers pressed up against the pastel wall, stuffed animals, wristbands, old CD's, care bears posters and butterfly clips littering the floor in a deadly trap.

A trans flag was pinned above the single bed with blue tack, right next to some inspirational and motivational quotes.

The whole place looked like it had been puked on by unicorns.

It hurt Janus' eyes.

Xey was a little overwhelmed by all the spiraling colours and nostalgia-inducing objects, so xey sat cross-legged in the middle of the pink carpet. The world slowed down.

Janus wondered, not for the first time, how a 29 year old could be this cheerful.

Or appear this cheerful.

"Jan?"

Janus gave a small twitch of xeir head, realising that xey had spaced out. "Hmm?" Xey replied.

"Hey, you were up with the clouds! I was just saying, I think Virge is here" Patton chirped.

"oh"

"he...might be staying for a little longer then i said"

"How wonderful." Janus muttered, knowing this would happen but hating it anyway.

"oh, don't be like that! I'm sure you guys could become friends!" Janus snorted. "Or...at least not kill at each other whenever you're in the same general area" Patton corrected.

"Anyway! I'm going to greet him at the door!" He suddenly proclaimed, skipping downstairs.

Janus was disgusted at how naïve this man was.

But that was a lie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patton slowed his happy skip to a casual walk. His grin slipped into a content smile as he reached the end of the stairs. Being so happy takes its toll on people, he thought. Soft tapping of the door interrupted his thoughts as he opened the door to reveal Virgil.

The first thing you notice about this man was his unfair tall-ness. He nearly had to duck to get inside; being too skinny didn't help. Virgil was wearing a plain black hoodie over a mcr top, completing the look with a short, pleated skirt and docs. His face was slathered in white foundation, accompanied with dark eyeshadow under his eyes.

"Virge!! I'm glad you could make it, even if you are late!!Again!" Patton hugged his friend, genuinely glad for his presence. The taller man patted Patton's curls awkwardly.

"Heyyyy Pat-" Virgil did the awkward pats on the back everyone does when they want to get out of a hug but don't want to say it in fear of hurting ones feelings. "Traffic-"

Patton withdrew from the hug and smiled. "okay! at least you're here safe! Can't control the traffic"

"Janus is waiting for us upstairs" Patton continued. He hurriedly carried on speaking before Virgil could spit out an insult about xem "say, you know what I hate about stairs? They're always up to something!" Patton laughed at his own joke, whilst Virgil pretended to face-palm, hiding a snigger.

"Alright, Alright dAd, didn't you say snake face was waiting for us?" Virgil mocked. Patton chuckled uncomfortably at the nickname, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, we shouldn't leave xem waiting"

They both entered his room, having walked the short journey there in a comfortable silence. Patton noted Janus had not moved from were he left xem; xey had just shifted to read a book xey most likely found lying around. Janus looked up upon their arrival, xeir face immediately twisting into a mocking grimace upon seeing Virgil. "ah, you brought the racoon"

"Janus play nice--"

"you're one to talk, you participated in 2012 Tumblr" Virgil threw back

"must you be so wounding" Janus dramatically threw xeir hand against xeir forehead.

"okAY, that's enough guys." Patton firmly said. Janus pulled a face in reply, and Virgil returned the favour. Patton sighed. He just wanted them to get along, which was probably a high expectation by itself.

Perhaps he had booze leftover somewhere.

--------------------------------

Twelve near fist fights, two crying sessions and many, many, many bottles of alcohol later, it was nearing eleven pm and the group was drunker than a litter of catnip high kittens.

They all crowded into a close-knit circle on the bed, nearly falling off but not caring.

"ssso your telling me that flashy asss hhimbo sssssaid I wasss hot but then rude and that I wore too muchh makeup? What a *hic* bitchh" Janus hissed.

Patton giggled. "yeeeeee, be nice though! She was kindaaaa alllllllll over the place!" Patton continued bluntly, "But how would you feel if I set you guys up????~"

"oh pleassssse do, I would just love that" Janus may be trashed but xey still knew sarcasm. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending who you are, Patton did not.

"yayyy! This is gonna be great!!"

Virgil butted in then, waving around the bottle he was holding "hold on, just holllld on a minute there, you're planning to set up that" he vaugly gestured in Janus' direction "with Princy??? Xey've known her for what, 4 minutes? Life isn't a disney movie"

"Dare I detect a hint of jealousy there emo?" Janus purred "am I that lovable?" Xey hiccuped.

"ooooooooh" Patton leaned into the circle, loving the drunk drama.

"wouldn't you like to know weather boy" Virgil droned back, finishing off the bottle.

"Honey, I would dare ssay that was a yesss"

"nO"

"oooooo, you liiiiike meeeEe"

"you disgust me"

"kinky"

Patton shook his hands excitingly at them, nearly hitting Virgil, causing them to shut up. "I can't believe you're finally open to a relationship after what happened! With my best friend no least! Boy did I try to get you to go on more dat--" Patton suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth as if he just said something nasty.

Everyone went silent. Janus stared at Patron, xeir mouth slightly parted. Virgil laughed nervously to try and break the tension. It sounded strained.

Janus began to speak to stop Patton from starting to spout drunken apologies. "Well thatssss jusst a liee, I've dated pleeenty of people over..well...that...period..of time."

Everyone went silent again, not quite sure on what to say.

Virgil's anxiety was heightening due to the social awkwardness and the influence of the alcohol.

Patton was fidgeting in his lap.

It was Janus yet again who broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Sssso, *hic* you ssaid you wanted me to go out with thisss idiot?"

----------------------------------

first-previous-next

updated masterpost

tag list: @arrowthenon-binaryroyalty, @spellingwillbethedeathofme,

ask if you want to be added or removed from tag list

and we meet our boi virgil

context is for losers

i could of probably cut out unnecessary things in that but y'know I'm new and I like it

these posts will be in chronological order, unless flashback, but it's not following a set-in-stone story line, so asks are, yet again, much appreciated.

I procrastinated too much during the making of this

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #janus sanders #genderfluid!janus #patton sanders #trans!patton #virgil sanders #alcohol mention #Janus what have you agreed to #hiss hiss bitch #this story is all over the place plz #roceit #platonic moxiety #This won't and never will be a moxiety fic I'm sorry #their father ans son relashionship #no hate on the ones who do ship it #it just isn't my cup of tea #Ok-ish

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thebrownssociety · 2 years

Text

Across The Serververse, Part 25

Warning: Minor swearing and descriptions of non-toonish violence.

“Eh...” Bugs said, as an aside to the reader. “...Oi sugest ya go back and read the last few lines of the previous chapter so ya remember what’s goin; on.”

Rhythm looked confused, looking at the empty wall to which Bugs was facing. He growled and face-palmed. “Rabbit, I am loosing my patience...”

“A’ight, a’ight, Oi’ll start.” Bugs said, facing his opponent. “Now, de foist thing us Toons are known for is Toon physics. Teleporting and de like. Luckily we have a Toon Physics expert among us - oh, Wile.E!”

The other toons burst into a round of applause as Wile.E stepped grandly forward and bowed.

“Wile.E actually teaches Toon Physics at Toontown University.” Bugs added, proudly.

Rhythm rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, marvellous. What’s the challenge, wabbit?”

Bugs tensed and glared. “Oi told ya, that’s an Elmer-ism. Dat means only he gets ta use it-”

Without warning the king of the serververse held his hand up causing the box that Elmer was in to swing alarmingly from side to side. Elmer - who wasn’t secured in the box - was flung into the side with a bang.

Bugs’s eyes bulged out his head along at the same time as Granny yelled.

“Stop it! You’ll hurt him!”

Rhythm smirked, but did stop the box swinging. “The challenge, rabbit.” He reiterated.

“Okay. Teleportation. Just bear with me two secs, Doc. Daf, come over here and take this flag off me.” Bugs said, grabbing a random flag out of his hammerspace.

Daffy did so and Bugs directed him to a corner of the room. He then repeated the process with Granny, Tweety and Penelope so all four of them formed a square.

“Now.” Bugs clapped his hands together. “Here’s the deal. Ya race separately and are timed. Ya both start here-” He got a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the floor. “You have to go round in a square each getting one flag, starting with Granny and ending with Tweety. De one with the fastest time wins.”

“And who’s timing it?” Rhythm purred.

“Oi was thinkin’ your minion - if he can tell time.”

“He can press a button.” Rhythm said, not directly answering the question. “Right - who’s going first? Me? Good - that’s decided. Move.” He barked at Bugs. “Pete - got the timer?”

The blue blob beeped cheerfully and waved a timer in the air.

“Well, what are you waiting for then - start it!”

The blob beaped again, fumbling with the timer as he struggled to start it. He managed it after a tense ten seconds and beaped loudly with relief.

Yosemite Sam leaned into Roadie and asked if he could understand what Pete was saying.

Roadie shook his head and help up a sign that said. “No. He’s speaking computer. I speak Roadrunner.”

Sam gave him a slightly weird look and resumed watching the action.

Rhythm had been stretching in order to warm up. Why he needed to do this was anyone's guess seeing as he was computer-generated, but he was. As soon as he heard the beap he was off in a flash. Quite literally, a sharp bang and a blinding light later and he was next to Granny. Giving her a glare that could turn a lesser women to stone, he snatched the flag off of her and carried on to the next toon.

He grabbed the next one of Penelope, who indignantly held her chin up and exclaimed. “Quelle con!*” before then heading straight for Daffy and wrestling the flag off him. It was wrestled because Daffy - sensing an opportunity for the spotlight - fell to the floor and wailed. “No, no! It’s my flag, you can’t have it! It’s mine, I tell ya, mine!”

“DAFFY!” Bugs bellowed, in a rare moment of genuine annoyance. “Let him have it for Chuck’s sake!”

Daffy paused and grinned at the reader. “...You good people know what’sth coming next, right? I don’t have to spell it out to ya, do I?” And he let go causing Rhythm to stumble backwards.

Cursing something awful, the king stabled himself and darted off to Tweety. He grabbed the flag of off the little yellow bird - sending him careening across the room, to be caught by Granny - then leapt into the box and shouted. “Hah! Time!” At Pete, who once again fumbled with the timer before holding it up.

Bugs got a pair of binoculars and looked. “28 seconds.” He said, impressed despite the situation. “Nice one, Rhythm.” The computer-generated man smiled and preened a little, smile diminishing as Bugs added. “Eh...Oi’m not sure how fair it was-”

“Fair!?” Rhythm exploded, causing the walls to start flickering and the box Elmer was in to swing alarmingly again. “Your stupid duck nearly cost me the whole thing-!”

“Okay, okay!” Bugs held his hands up placatingly. “28 seconds. No arguments. And Daf-” He said, throwing the duck a stern look. “You do exactly what you did with Rhythm to Wile.E, got it?”

“Why the hell-” Daffy began, only to be elbowed in the ribs by Penelope. “-Okay, okay, I’ll do it! Sheesth.”

So Wile.E was duly set up and ready to go. Bugs confirmed he was alright to start and the coyote gave him a confident thumbs up. Of course he was confident, Bugs thought happily, he was Wile.E Coyote.

Once again Pete started the timer and the skinny coyote was off. He appeared round the back of Granny and plucked the flag out her hand before clicking his fingers [purely for theatrical effect, of course] and appearing next to Penelope in a puff of smoke [Courtesy of ACME Magic Tricks] and, with a bow, took the flag of her.

He then appeared next to Daffy and they went through the same routine Rhythm had been forced to endure. Being a toon however, when Daffy let go, Wile.E couldn’t resist hurtling himself through the air and slamming into the wall, making himself flat in the process. Wile.E slid down the wall, ended up in a puddle on the floor then with a ‘pop’ became 3-d again and headed over the Tweety. He took the flag of the little yellow canary and transported himself to the box.

He bowed as the other toons threw random roses at him, then indicated that Pete should give him his time.

“25 seconds.” Bugs said, as the others whooped and cheered. Over the noise the rabbit explained. “Ya lost about 8 seconds with the whole gag ya did.”

Wile.E gave an eloquent shrug that quickly turned into a gasp when he was lifted up by his throat by a furious Rhythm.

“I would have beaten him if not for that stupid duck!” Rhythm bellowed, shaking Wile.E like a rag doll while the coyote started turning blue and desperately tried to pull Rhythm’s hands away.

Suddenly there was a hurricane of dust around the two of them and the next thing Bugs knew Wile.E was back with Roadie, his twin having created the storm of dust to save him. Roadie was now standing in front of Wile.E protectively while the coyote gasped and tried to get his breath back.

“Okay, okay!” Bugs stepped forward, resisting the urge to strangle Rhythm himself. “Dat was bang out of order-”

“Just start the next challenge, wabbit.” Rhythm snarled. “Before I REALLY lose my temper!”

*What a jerk!

#looney tunes fanfiction #Space Jam 2 #Across The Serververse #Bugs Bunny #Wile.E.Coyote #Al.G.Rhythm #Daffy Duck #Penelope Pussycat #Roadrunner #Elmer Fudd #Yosemite Sam #Rhythm is a Jerk #Challenge One

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whumpbby · 3 years

Note

whumpbby 😭 commiserate with meeee. Idk if you've seen this post that's kind of blowing up about how fandoms are racist in general because they always focus on white characters and ships over the POC ones and to be real, it's not that I disagree. I do agree, very much so, though I think the issue is way more nuanced. But I figure hey it's still a relevant post and I go to reblog and then I realise it's written by a goddamn anti 😭😭😭 now I have hIVES gdi the op is in the notes screeching at people for being kylo ren fans and telling them to die and I'm just So Over This, we can't have anything nice

The worst part is that this post got onto my dash from the blog writingwithcolour who gives really good and multi-cultural advice on writing POC and while I see why they'd reblog it, my automatic EWW UGH reaction to finding an anti's post unfiltered on my dash is now putting serious sus on that blog :((( I'm just here to whine at you dats all but yeah antis are ruining so many good things about Fandom I can't even feel good about a relevant post anymore

*commiserating*

I feel ya, the fandom that is supposed to be the place of fun and unwinding being overridden with self-congratulory bullshit is a pet peeve of mine too.

It is hard to find a balance between ‘ yeah, these issues exist’ and a ‘no, I am not here for that’ and not end up on this or that pitchfork, because we seem to be living in the time and social sphere where daring not to be concerned about the current issue of the week for even one second of the day marks one as a degenerate/racist/sexist/take your pick. It’s the wart marking the witch. And you are expected to prove your creed constantly, to preform to someone’s satisfaction until they deem to absolve you.

If she floats, she’s a witch. If she drowns, she’s not, but well, the point is moot.

It’s tiring, god, it’s exhausting - when already so many things are exhausting in the real life we have outside of these fandom spaces. And it gets doubly exhausting once you realise that - it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. No graph showing how many poc characters are NOT being shipped, no list of authors who ship ‘problematic’ ships, not one anon message trying to shame someone into not doing something - NONE OF IT MATTERS.

NONE. Not one grain of good has come out of it.

People see a problem and get invested and sometimes the problem is real and needs solution - and very often we are so small and have no resources and we can’t help in any realistic way. So, brain comes up with ways of helping us feel less shitty about out own helplessness and we invest ourselves so deeply into them, because what else can we do? That post, that blog, that call to arms, that callout, that anon message - we are doping something! We are helping!

We are doing something, right? Right???

It’s so hard to admit that not one child was saved by the witch hunt on Ao3, not one minor was saved form grooming by attacking fanfic writers on whatever platform, not one person was saved form abuse by attacking trans people, not one person was helped by the war on the “Q-word”, not one goddamn soul was helped by the anti-bullshit. All it results in is misery and pain and harassment, but hey, at least someone is reacting! - and, hey, these are ‘effects’, right? And we’re after ‘effects’ because at least we are doing something if it has effects, right??

These movements, these tactics, these people - they are nothing else than kids stomping their feet in their respective kiddy pools and thinking the waves they create change the currents of the real ocean. They imagine they are stopping a tsunami hitting some foreign land when all they do is splash on the people who just want to wet their feet in the same pool.

Listen. A story.

In my town there's this guy who will randomly appear in the market square and shout about God and Salvation and how everyone sucks. This recent Christmas he positioned himself right opposite of the charity orchestra and was a nuisance to anyone who wanted to stop for a moment and listen to them playing Christmas carols - to have in this depressing and cold, and busy end of a crap year we have all survived, a moment of respite, of Christmas cheer, a crumb of relief. Usually the orchestra is surrounded by people and kids throwing coins into their box, by folk recording on their phones, etc. No, this this year no one could enjoy a moment of peace, because a nutcase behind tried to overshout the orchestra, so people kept walking, intimidated and annoyed.

Out of frustration and, I admit, curiosity, I walked up to him and asked why won’t he move over to let the orchestra play - what I got was more shouting. Because listening to Christmas carols was hypocritical without the sprinkling of despair over the state of humanity and Our Sins.

He wouldn’t engage, he wouldn't speak to me like a person - I was standing two feet form the guy and he was yelling at the top of his lungs so everyone heard him. I was raised Catholic in one of the most Catholic damn countries in Europe, I know what God is about. But, you see, it didn’t matter to the guy, what mattered was that he needed to be heard yelling. This was his attempt at converting people - by yelling in their faces. He was doing something and feeling better for it!

This guy was the anti-movement in a real, compact, one-dude pill. Any anti-movement you can think of that picks a flag and then starts to screech in its shadow, because it makes them feel better about themselves.

As for Kylo...

The hilarious hate towards Kylo fucking Ren of all people? Towards people who ship him? All that misplaced anger at the crappy treatment of the poc actors by Disney and predominantly male ‘fans’ of Star Wars?? Let that sink in - white dudes with money made decisions, white dudes on the internet ganged up on an actress - but nah, dude, the women who write fanfic are the culprit! We can’t gang up on Disney and we are too afraid of the dudes on Reddit and 4chan, but these girls writing Reylo porn are there and accessible and not scary and not male! We can take them on!

How is it not hilarious? How?? This level of misdirection and confusion, being so intimidated by the insurmountable task of being angry at a corporation that makes their merch (that they are still buying, because hey, a fan is a fan, who doesn’t want a baby Yoda t-shirt?) that all they can do is to spin around and bite the ankles of the person standing behind them? How is this not hilariously morally bankrupt and so pitifully, tragically human?

Let the block button become your shield, another good blog will come, don't regret blocking ones you are not sure about. You’re here to relax, you don’t deserve this kind of stress. They will keep screeching, but you keep walking, friend, the orchestra is still there playing your tune, enjoy it.

#dicks horse #fantasticalmemories

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owlheartt · 3 years

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What's da best thing about Switzerland?

I dont know, but da flag is a big plus

Did you hear bout da mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothin ta avoid em

Why do we tell actors ta break a leg?

Cause dey're in a cast

What kinda exercise do lazy peeps do?

Diddly squats

Why should da number 288 never be mentioned?

It's two gross

What did da 0 say ta da 8?

Nice belt

What do ya call a pony with a cough?

A little horse

What do ya call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

Why did da frog take da bus ta work?

Deir car got toad away

Did ya hear bout da guy who got his left arm and leg cut off?

Dont worry, he's all right now

Did ya hear bout da Italian chef dat died?

He pasta way

Yesterday I saw a guy spill scrabble letters on da road

I asked what da word on da street is

Did ya hear bout da actor who fell through da floorboards?

He was just goin through a stage

What do ya call a belt with a clock on it?

A waist of time

What season is it when ya're on a trampoline?

Spring

Where did da computer go ta dance?

A disk-o

What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match

I could tell ya a joke bou infinity, but it has no end

Why didn't my bike work?

Because it was two tired

Did ya hear da two talkin pieces of bread?

Dey gave me a miGrain

What did one ocean say ta da other?

Nothin, it just waved

Did ya sea what I did dere? I'm bot shore if you'll like da rest of my puns, but what da shell, why not

What does a baby computer call its dad?

Data

I got a job as an elevator mechanic. I'm not complainin, it has its ups and downs.

Sorry i didn't mean ta push ya buttons, but ghosts do like em, it seems ta lift deir spirits

Now, onta my brain collection of skeleton puns, I know a few rib ticklers, in fact, I know a skele-ton

What's da coolest part of a skeleton?

Da hip

When does da skeleton laugh?

Cause somebruhne tickled deir funny bone

Why didn't da skeleton go ta da dance?

He had no-body ta go with

What do ya call a fake skeleton?

A phony ba-boney

Why did da skeleton quit bein a surgeon?

His heart wasn't in it

Why did da skeleton bail?

Dey didnt have da guts

What do skeletons hate bout water?

Nothin, it goes right through em

Why are graveyards so noisy?

Cause dey're all coffin

What do skeletons call with?

A telebone

What's a skeletons' favourite food?

A T-bone steak

What do ya call da skeletons who work

A skeleton crew

What did da biker skeleton say?

I'm bad ta da bone

A skeleton stood by a fire too long, now hes bone dry

What do ya call a skeleton snake?

A rattler

A dog ran off with a skeletons' leg.

Ya could say dey didnt leave em with a leg ta stand on

What do ya do when ya see a skeleton runnin across da road?

Ya jump outta ya skin and join em

Bruh, dese jokes aren't very humorous, but hey, I'm workin myself down ta da bone ta remember dem all.

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT OF PUNS

I love it

#imma try and go to sleep now #goodnight loves #I’ll see all you precious babes tomorrow

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jungshookz · 4 years

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I’m picturing all the cee pd dads at the high school graduation. Tae is trying not to cry about Emma, hobi is taking selfies with hope and she’s embarrassed (secretly loving it, he set off an air horn when her name was called), coach kook is giving Lucas a noogie, and yoongi is either super proud of hwayoung and doing that embarrassed neck scratch or getting smooshed between his wife and daughter in pix and yelling HAJIMA when they kith his cheekies

HE SET OFF AN AIR HORN OF COURSE HE DID

tae & emma: tae’s eyes have been watering since this morning and every time emma tells him to at least trY and compose himself his eyes start welling up with even mORE tears to the point where y/n has to console him like every five seconds by holding his hand and giving him a squeeze or leaning over to kiss his cheek,.,, okay looK he can’t help it if he’s emotional!!! he was literally emma’s kindergarten teacher and now she’s 18 years old and graduating from high school???? it’s like he bLinked and time went by so quickly and the next thing he knows he’s going to be sending her off to university and then she’ll be graduating from university and pursuing a career anD- omg emma’s name was just called and tae just shoT up from his seat and started applauding as violently as possible and you know whAT he’s just going to SOB!!! he doesn’t care who’s watching!!! he’s going to CRY HIS EYES OUT FOR HIS SWEET EMMA!!!! emma is trying to keep a smile on her face as she poses for a picture with the principal but she just caught sight of a very distraught looking tae and now hEr eyes are starting to get glossy.,.,,

hobi & hope: hobi is literally the biggest hope stan like?? he’s treating the graduation ceremony more like a concert and he’s acting like an insane fangirl but he doesn’t CARE because he wants everyone to know that hope is his daughter!!! the parents sitting next to him got a little irritated because every five seconds hobi would lean over and be like: hey u see dat girl! ya she’s my daughter! she’s on the cheer team!! and they were just like sir we don’t even know who you aRE!!! you bet ur ass he ordered a customized t-shirt that says’ hope’s world!!!!!’ and the shirt is peach coloured and he even wrapped fairy lights around himself aNd he has a matching baseball cap (with her face on it of course) sitting on the top of his head AND he has these little flags that he’s waving around viciously when hope’s name is called!!! he’s so proud of his baby!! and also he’s pretty proud of himself for managing to keep her in high school and for raising her to become this sweet and caring and optimistic young lady!!! as soon as hope got up from her seat to get her diploma hobi BLASTED an air horn and startled literally everyone so in hope’s photo her smile is very sheepish because she’s only slightly embarrassed by her dad but also she loves him so much and loves that he’s her #1 fan no matter what :’)

kook & luke: everyone’s kind of just blown away by how attractive luke’s family is??? y/n has to keep explaining that she’s just his older sister and noT his mother and that jungkook is technically luke’s brother-in-law but for some reason everyone keeps thinking that they’re his parents?? it’s kind of awkward because mom and dad are literally right there and y/n has to keep pointing to them and saying ‘no, they’re not luke’s grandparents, they’re luke’s parents. i’m not his mother. do i look like a mom?? i’m his SISTER-’ anyways literally every one of the girls in the grade have checked out jungkook at least once because jesus CHRIST that is an attractive person!!!!! in fact some have been bold enough to approach jungkook and ask him all sorts of questions and give him all sorts of compliments and y/n has to waRd all these 18 year olds away from jungkook which is not how she thought the day was going to go!! anyways luke’s name is called and jungkook starts jumping up and down in excitement because that is HIS boy!!! even though his boy abAndoned soccer to start playing football,.,,. but whatever.,,., after the ceremony y/n makes sure to squish as many kissies to luke’s face as possible (in front of all his friends, of course) anD luke just lets her do that because he loves his sister and would die for her SO

yoongi & hwayoung: the one thing i will correct you on is the fact that yoongi will be the one squishing kissies to hwayoung’s cheeks even though she’s told him multiple times to STOP because he’s going to ruin her makeup!!! yoongi’s not afraid to show off his daughter and show everyone how proud he is of her!! she graduated top of her class!!! she’s class president!! valedictorian!!! prom queen!!! y/n literally does noT understand how hwayoung is her child because of how intelligent she is.,.,. because if you haven’t noticed by now,.,. (her words not mine) y/n is kind of a duMmy!! and she hates public speaking!! and she hated clubs in high school!! so it’s safe to assume that hwayoung inherited a lot of yoongi’s genes because she certainly did not get the valedictorian gene from her lol BUT the other day hwayoung was looking through old photos and she found a picture of y/n and yoongi from when they first started dating and she was shoCked by how much she looks like her mama!! the smile!! the eyes!! hwayoung thinks her mama is the prettiest one in the entire world!! also in her valedictorian speech she wasn’t technically supposed to talk about anything personal but she gave a very brief shoutout to yoongi and y/n for being such wonderful and supportive parents and yoongi is usually very good at holding his emotions but he let one tear slip and y/n nearly exploded because it seems like it was only yesterday that hwayoung’s only form of communication was ‘bwah’ and excessive drooling :-((( jimin and jungkook forced hwayoung to take like a trillion photos together anD jungkook was this close to running on stage to give her a huge hug after her speech but luckily jimin was there to hold him back

let’s play!

games with cee tag

#games with cee #answered #ceo!yoongi #singledad!hobi #kindergarten!tae #coach!jungkook

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