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teenagemutantninjatrauma · 2 years

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I have a bunch of 2k3/Rise crossovers in the brain but no time to draw/write them all right now so I’m gonna write out the ideas here and y’all are free to take them if you want em tbh. 2k12 turts not included because I watched like two YouTube compilations of that show and it made me feel like that one meme of a guy standing at his window with a broken expression smoking a cigarette, but feel free to adapt this with them in mind if you wanna. Enjoy <3

What if they had a paintball tournament.

Obviously everyone is paired up in their colors and given the paintballs of that color, and they play in an area full of abandoned buildings (hey 2k3 fans remember the rat king? Yeah that’s where they play). Blue team seems to have the upper hand at first, but Rise Leo keeps being a loud show-off and dragging 2k3 Leo into it (he complains at first, since HEY that’s kinda ruining their stealthiness, but gradually he joins into the teasing and the jokes and the overall teenager behavior, and it’s nice. It’s fun. He rarely gets to act his age and Rise Leo has noticed this and absolutely becomes an enabler for him).

The Mikeys start the fight off covered in warpaint. This doesn’t bode well for them because orange isn’t exactly a subtle color, but hey, their style is loud and quick anyways, they rush anyone they encounter and are gone within seconds, targets unmistakably hit. Inbetween ambushing their brothers, they talk about superheroes of their respective eras, and 2k3 Mikey brags about being the Turtle Titan (and Rise Mikey is already making plans in his head, when he gets home he’s gonna find a cape, he’s gonna make himself an outfit, he’s gonna.. have to find a way to sneak it past Raph, probably, but Leo will LOVE it), and they try to one-up each other’s moves the entire time. You can tell where in the warzone they are by listening for the occasional mischievous cackling.

The Red team. Oh my goodness. I need to put them under a microscope. They need to interact so so so much dude. I think at first they kinda cramp each other’s style because where 2k3 Raph is impulsive and always just a second away from throwing hands, Rise Raph has a more levelheaded approach, and so they don’t do all that well in the tournament at first because 2k3 Raph keeps bitching about how Rise Raph is just like his Leo, and ironically, Rise Raph says just the same thing about him and Rise Leo. Thankfully though, this eventually leads to them realizing that OH, maybe they gotta balance out the best of both. After that, though, they become an unstoppable force. If they get surrounded they simply break through a wall and escape. They keep trying to sacrifice themselves for each other which for sure leads to one of those “avenge me” moments as one of them lays on the ground covered in paint and pretending to die dramatically.

And, of course. The purple team. The scientists, the inventors. It takes Rise Donnie a little over five minutes to turn his paintball gun into a paintball sniper rifle. 2k3 Don, meanwhile, sets up motion sensors along a perimeter they’ve planned out, and they hunker down in a building with no windows and only one entrance. Anyone who would want to get to them would first have to appear in said entrance, making themselves an absolutely un-missable target. While they work, of course they discuss their newest ideas and creations, how could they not! Every few minutes one of them goes “how did you do that” and the other infodumps about their thought process, until they stop paying attention to the game altogether. Thanks to 2k3 Don’s more proper training, though, he does still spot when the orange team tries to sneak in and catch them unaware, but it matters little when from the other side, Rise Raph crashes through the wall, followed by his teammate, momentarily creating clouds of dust that make it hard to see each other. In the ensuing chaos, the Mikeys stand back to back and blindly shoot around in a hope to hit someone, the purple team sneaks away before anyone can notice, and Rise Raph takes several direct shots at the cost of shielding 2k3 Raph, but it’s worth it, because just then - Orange team runs out of ammo. In panic, they try to get away, and it is then that 2k3 Raph emerges from behind his teammate and mercilessly shoots both of them from a point blank range. (This is also where the tragic avenge me scene happens lmao)

So now it’s team Purple and team Blue. It was 2k3 Leo’s idea to wait and watch the other teams eliminate each other, and it was Rise Leo’s idea to sit a safe distance away from the purple team’s hideout with popcorn. They watch as two teams run in and a third team emerges, having to abandon the safety of their hideout, and like shadows they follow, waiting for an opportunity to strike, getting closer and closer, until Leo finally gives the signal and Nardo jumps out with a victorious war cry, shooting both members of the purple team and hitting the marks- or.. mark? The form of Rise Donnie buzzes and flickers, and then the projection vanishes completely as Don, covered in blue paint, turns around and cackles, waving a small monitor on his wrist at the two confused Leos. It dawns on 2k3 Leo first, the realization, but before he can warn his teammate, both of their shells are hit with a SPLAT! and a splash of purple, and a victorious if somewhat unhinged laugh comes from a building nearby, “I can’t believe you fell for that!” Rise Donnie shouts, standing on a rooftop with his paintball sniper rifle. “Once again, my genius leads to an easy victory!”

“Wrong.” Leos and Donatello gasp as a second figure appears on the rooftop, a flash of red, and 2k3 Raph stands there, his paintball gun aimed directly at Donnie. “Sorry, brainiac, but I promised my teammate I’d avenge him.”

Donnie turns around, panicked, and tries to negotiate. “W-wait, Raph, c’mon, maybe we can both win? Let’s be reasonable about this!” he pleads.

But Raph scoffs. “Ha! How dare you assume I could be reasoned with,” he smirks, and pulls the trigger.

Cheers can be heard from where the Mikeys and Rise Raph had come to observe the fight, and 2k3 Raph gets a hearty pat on his back from his teammate that almost shoves him off the roof. He immediately brags to his Michelangelo and gets a handful of paint smeared across his face, but team Red is ultimately declared victorious. They head home immediately after by demand of 2k3 Leo and Rise Donnie as neither of them is coping well with having paint on their skin, and celebrate by running around with a garden hose. It’s a good day, that one.

#2k3/Rise crossover #my ideas #paintball

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your-daily-biaswrecking · 3 years

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Hello! can you do a scenario with fem!reader and father's best friend!namjoon? I totally understand if this is a concept you're uncomfortable with. All the armys are going crazy with the dilf!bts concept so I need to have this 😭

Tbh that's a hard concept (like absolutely don't do this irl y'all plss it's not okay if it's not fiction– go in the notes to read my PSA pls) so I had to write a bit of plot at the beginning just because I wanted to make it as less weird as possible lol

Namjoon wasn't the type of family friend you got to see a lot growing up. He was, however, the type of friend you got to hear about a lot. Your dad had spent his high school years being in a band that never really had its break, and Namjoon had apparently been the youngest member and your father's favourite. He kept talking about how he "raised" him, meaning he helped him get his first kiss and taught him about girls. Then your dad got your mum pregnant right after graduating, and they both decided to move to the US to find a job and start their family. Your family. And so your dad lost touch with his best friend.

He talked about him quite often, and you knew he had even visited once when you were still too young to have a memory of it. You had only ever seen a couple of pictures of them together; Namjoon looked like a very cringy 13-year-old with a terrible haircut. Not that your dad as a teenager looked any better. But that's beside the point. It doesn't matter what he looked like back then, today you probably wouldn't be able to even recognize him even if he passed you on the street.

"Did I tell you? My best friend moved here from Korea! The band kids are back together!"

Namjoon came back into your father's life at around the same time as you left it– moved away for college. And you kept getting all these updates on how great it was that they found each other again, how many things they did together and in general how happy your dad was. When you visited home for Christmas, Namjoon was away so you didn't run into him. And almost a year after he had moved there, you would finally meet him during the summer. Your father invited him for dinner one hot evening in July.

You opened the door to find him standing outside, your mother just a step behind to greet him. “Joonie! So glad you could make it. Come on in, come on in... Ah! As you know, this is our daughter.”

The man was tall and handsome, nothing like the pictures you had seen. And familiar. His eyes met yours and he smiled, making your blood run cold— you had seen that man before. Not even a week ago, staring at you at the bar while sipping his whiskey until you decided he was too hot and couldn’t be older than 30, so you walked up to him and gave him a napkin with your number and a lipstick stain of a kiss on it. He never called.

“Wow,” Namjoon said without his tone matching his words. “She has grown up so much.” And he looked you up and down again, checking you out kind of like he had done that night. Your entire face was burning, turning on your heels to get away. What the fuck kind of luck was that? He was your dad's friend? You hoped– you begged that he didn't recognize you. He wasn't saying anything, though his eyes kept on stealing looks, and so you thought you might have had a close escape. Until you run into each other in the kitchen. Alone. "Come here, young lady," he said in a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. You already felt like you were in trouble. "Does your father know you go around giving your number to men almost twice your age?"

He was so close, eyes travelling lazily down your form with a smirk on his lips. "No," you choked. "I– I don't– You were staring at me, that's why I thought..."

"I was staring at you because I was trying to figure out if you were my best friend's daughter."

Hearing him say the words made your cheeks burn. Defeat. He had a logical excuse and all you had was that he was a little too much your type. And he sounded like he was scolding you, reminding you of your place. You lowered your head, really wanting to get out. "Please don't tell him."

Don't tell him I hit on you. Don't tell him I wanted to fuck you.

Namjoon didn't reply right away, but late that night you got a text from an unknown number. "I won't tell him anything."

He won't tell him anything. Perhaps that could be applied to what had already happened, or what would happen in the future.

You didn't text frequently, but you did nonetheless. And even though you were sure both of you would say they were simple, innocent texts, how innocent could they really be when the man already knew how you felt about him? Maybe you were crazy, but you thought he might like you too. Maybe he liked the fact that you liked him. It wasn't evident in anything he did or say, just the vibes you got from him those days he visited your house, or the way he looked at you when you were left alone for a second. The summer passed by so fast when every other day you met your father's best friend in one way or another.

When it was time for you to move back to the city where you attended college, Namjoon just so happened to be going there for some work too. And your parents were grateful that you had someone to travel with. The car ride was long and mostly silent. You had never been left alone for so long and suddenly you realised how hard it was to keep a conversation going without talking about how horny he made you feel just by being in the same, tight space with you. But the farther away you got from home, the less you cared about keeping your good reputation up.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" you asked him after he helped drop off all your stuff at your apartment late that night and was already at the door, ready to leave.

"I'll find a hotel," he told you, hand still on the door handle.

"You can stay here if you want to."

"Don't–" His plea was soft-spoken, in contrast to the intense way his eyes were piercing yours.

"Don't what?" you acted dumb. "All I'm saying is I'm sure dad would rather you stay instead of paying for a room. You're like family, anyway."

You noticed how he took in a deep breath, grip around the knob getting harder. "Don't bring him into this."

Saying that you two shouldn't mention your father was like admitting what was going on right now was beyond innocent. And even though your stomach clenched at his harsh tone, you bowed your head and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"This is so wrong," you heard him call loudly all of a sudden, making you look back at him. He was chewing on his lip desperately. "I was there when your dad got your mom pregnant. Do you know what I said? Fuck, man, how are you gonna get out of this bullshit? I shouldn’t be…"

You blinked at him, waiting to hear the end of the sentence. "Shouldn't be what?" You weren't gonna let him slip away that easily. You would push him until he had to say what he wanted to say. It was your only chance, anyway.

Namjoon sighed. He pushed the door closed and walked up to you steadily all while he was staring straight into your eyes. "Why did you give me your number that night?"

Your breathing was already getting heavier. You wouldn't back away. What was the point? He knew already. "Because you were hot. And I wanted you to fuck me."

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, watching your face as he contemplated his next words. "Why do you want me to stay over tonight?"

You gulped. He was so close, closer than ever. "Because you're hot," you whispered. Glance down on his lips. "And I want you to fuck me."

He closed his eyes momentarily before he was exhaling loudly. "Fucking– hell!"

And he instantly moved forward, one hand grabbing the back of your head as he brought your face to crush on his, mouths smashing against each other after all the times you had dreamed about it. It was so much better than you could have imagined, lips full and soft parting yours for his tongue to slip in between, making you moan. And you were trying to get closer and closer, almost tripping as you walked blindly further into the apartment. His jacket was discarded on the floor before your shirt joined it, and Namjoon was growling before attacking your neck with his teeth.

"Daddy..." The word truly slipped out of you, and he was pausing for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"Really? You're really gonna call me daddy?" Your eyes were wide and cheeks burning, squirming away from him before he grabbed your wrist to keep you close. "Shit," he grunted, not sounding mad at all. "Alright, baby. Show daddy where your room is, need to get you in bed right away."

And you mewled at his words. You were there in no time, pulling the rest of your clothes off as Namjoon undressed too. Big and thick, he was even hotter like that, making you press your legs together as you took the sight in. And when he removed his boxers too, you got to found out his dick matched the rest of his body perfectly, long and thick and so hot it made your mouth water.

"Daddy," you whined as he started crawling over you. "You're so big. You're gonna tear me apart."

His large hand grabbed your jaw. "That's what you get for playing with big boys." And he kissed you ruthlessly again. His other hand travelling down your form until he found your pussy, fingers playing with your folds and humming in satisfaction. "So wet. Is that all for me, baby?"

"Yes, daddy," you moaned, hips trying to grind on his hand for some more friction. "I've been wet for you since I first saw you."

"Fuck. I know, baby," he breathed into your ear, two fingers slipping slowly inside you and stretching you out. "I could tell. You weren't hiding it very well, baby. How much you wanted me to ruin you. Which is why daddy's been hard for you all this time, too." Your breath was hitching as he was moving his hands slowly, not even trying to fuck you like that, just trying to get you ready for his cock. And he stopped. "Are you gonna let daddy fuck you raw, baby?"

You almost screamed. "Fuck, yes, daddy, please! Fuck me open with your cock."

Namjoon was growling as he retrieved his fingers from inside you. "What a dirty mouth! Who taught you to speak like that, you dirty, little whore? I thought you were a good girl."

Your nails were scratching his back as you whined and squirmed underneath him. "Oh, daddy, please! I need you! I'll be good for you."

And you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance as he shushed you. "Alright then. Be a good girl for daddy and take this big cock like the good, little slut you are." And he shoved himself in you.

"O–oh my god!" you yelped. Namjoon didn't go easy on you, didn't go slow or gentle, he started pounding you fast and hard right away, truly fucking you open like you had asked him to. You were squirming underneath him but his body was so big and strong, it was caging you completely. And just to shut you up he kissed you again, tongue so deep in your mouth he was choking you. Namjoon was fucking you so hard he brought tears to your eyes, and you felt euphoric being used by him like that.

"My dirty, little cunt," he rasped after he freed your mouth. "Like taking my cock like that?" You were nodding, mewling, unable to speak. "What a good girl. Letting daddy fuck her as hard as he wants." He leaned back, grabbing your arms until he had your wrists pinned above your head and the new position gave him the ability to piston his hips against yours even faster, diving even deeper.

"Fuck, daddy, I'm gonna cum," you cried, legs shaking as they fought against his abusing thrusts between them.

"So easy," Namjoon panted with a smirk. "So easy to please you. Gonna cum cuz you've never had dick like daddy's before, huh? No one's ever fucked you this good? Those little boys your age, I bet they don't know shit about pleasing a nasty girl like you." He spat on his free hand and brought it right down on your clit, pressing on it hard. And you were moaning even louder. "There you go, baby. You can cum on daddy's dick now."

"Namjoon–" you yelped, and you felt your orgasm pop, gushing all your juices over him as he kept fucking you through it. He slowed down a bit, coming down to kiss you sloppily as you continued to whine with each thrust against your sensitive, tight walls.

"That's my good girl," he whispered, kissing you almost lovingly. "Don't worry, baby. We're not nearly done yet." And his thrusts slowly got deeper and deeper. "You really shouldn't have let me fuck you, baby. Cuz now I don't ever plan on stopping."

Masterlist | Part 2

#bts #bangtan #namjoon #kim namjoon #request #rm #drabble #oneshot #smut #dilf namjoon #bts drabble #bts smut #namjoon drabble #namjoon smut #namjoon oneshot #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader

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roscgcld · 3 years

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NANAMI KENTO + GOJO SATORU || the one that got away

request: i'm literally in love with your fics- i was wondering if you could write a Nanami x reader x Gojo where Nanami and the reader were dating before he left Jujutsu Tech, but they break up when he leaves. When he comes back he realizes he's still in love with the reader but she's engaged to Gojo and there's just a bunch of angst and tension. Sorry ik that's a lot :') But ty!!

note: lowkey thought you wanted a nanami x reader x gojo and i was like ‘oh babes am so ready-’ until i rer-read your request lmao! but honestly this was a lot of fun to write. tbh, if i was reader I would choose nanami cause rn am a whole ass SIMP for the man that is nanmi kento cx but i hope i managed to capture what you wanted in this request babes!

pronouns: she/her

“Maybe we should take a break.”

Those six words were engrained into the mind of Nanami Kento for the rest of his life. Those six words were the words that tossed his world upside down - and every time those words came into mind, the imagine of your crying face comes with it.

You were so distraught, yet you put up a brave front as you gave him a shaky smile - something that he loves so much about you. That even though his explanation as to why you two should break up was childish, selfish even; you still go the extra mile to make sure that he knows you understand. That you understand why he wants to take a break so that he can focus on himself and his career.

“I understand, Nami...just know I love you, okay?”

Your simple words, coupled with your tearful eyes and watery smile made him want to take back the words as soon as possible. That he wants to just turn back time and just admit to himself that he was going to regret his decision. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to. If he did go back in time and stopped, he might end up breaking your heart again; if not with more bitterness and anger.

When he was young, he hated that he was a jujutsu sorcerer - hated how he has this responsibility over him that he never asked for. He just wanted to be free from the jujutsu world and never look back. You were different - you were so proud that you were a jujutsu sorcerer, always a beacon of light in the dark reality that is being a sorcerer. Somehow you made it bearable for him, and at one point he thought he can do it for the rest of his life. Until after the death of Haibara Yu, a classmate that the both of you call a dear friend.

It was at that moment that he snapped, and he knew he didn’t want to do this anymore.

Yet he couldn’t force himself to drag you away from something you love so dearly, something you see as your duty to protect. He knew that either way he was going to be selfish, and either way tears were going to be shed; so he chose the one that would hurt the least. However, now years down the line, he still thinks that maybe things could have worked out. There was no denying that he still loves you - even though he keeps in touch with his senior, Gojo Satoru, from time to time, he doesn’t ask about you.

From what he knows, you stayed back in Jujutsu Tech and became a teacher, but that is all he knows about you. He was too scared, too embarrassed to face you once more - because he knows better then to dream. Dream that the promise you promised to keep as teens was going to hold up now that the both of you were in your late twenties.

But there is no harm in dreaming, right?

Nanami checked his watch as he got off the train, making his way towards the bus station located right outside of the building. It was his first time back at the college after being away from it for a few years, since he had called Gojo the other day on asking about if there is an opening for him to return as a sorcerer.

Even though Gojo can be a huge pain in the ass to deal with, Nanami knew that if there was anyone who can confirm a space for him at work, it will be Gojo Satoru.

Walking out of the crowded station, he looked up just in time to see the white haired shaman waiting for him at the entrance; who grinned and waved when he saw his junior. “Nanami! I knew you were not going to be late.” Gojo called out to the man dressed in a fresh grey suit and blue shirt underneath; his spotted tie knotted around his neck. The bespectacled man just sighs tiredly and made his way towards his overly excited senior, scowling when the taller male draped an arm around his shoulders.

He opened his mouth to say something when he noticed the ring that was resting on Gojo’s left ring finger, causing him to raise a curious eyebrow as he allowed the older male to lead him along. “You got married?” He asks the taller male, who glances at his hand before he grins and shakes his head, flexing his hand a little to show off the simple band around his ring finger. “Nah, we just got engaged. We are planning for the wedding though.” He stated simple, to which Nanami glances over at his senior in surprise. “What? Thought that I was too good to be married off?”

“No, I am surprised that you somehow managed to find someone willing to chain themselves down with you.”

“How mean!” Gojo gasps before he shakes his head in amusement, playfully squeezing his junior who just scowls lightly. “For your information, we’ve been dating for the last 4 years. And we have both talked about marriage before, so I wasn’t blindly shooting into the dark when I proposed.” Gojo commented as the two of them made their way towards the taxi stand, where Ijichi greeted his two seniors with a soft bow; all three men getting into the car. “Still surprised they said yes.”

Gojo just pouts and whines at his junior, who just listened to him with his deadpan expression the entire way to the college. He was surprised that Gojo managed to come on time to pick him up, since he had expected for him to be late, and for him to have either taken the bus or hailed a taxi on his own. But he didn’t really mind; he’s used to handling Gojo’s childish personality, and he gets a free ride at the same time. So he doesn’t mind the brief ride with Gojo.

Soon they arrived at the wooded area where the college is located on, getting out of the car once Ijichi stops the car. Quietly Nanami got out of the car and squints his eyes a little at the sunlight that shone down on him, his eyes slowly focusing on the grand temple-like compound that is Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. “Feels weird to be back?”

“A bit.” Nanami admitted to Gojo when he walked from the other side of the car to Nanami’s side, the man just chuckling before he gestures for him made his way through the gates and into the campus, immediately being hit with all the nostalgia of being a student once more. It felt like a light weight was being lifted off his shoulders as he soaks everything in, like the guilt of him leaving his duties as a sorcerer behind has been lifted.

The two men made their way deeper into the college just as someone called out to Gojo from behind, causing both men to pause as they turned to look back. Immediately Nanami felt his heart skip a beat when his eyes finally settled onto you, a warm smile gracing your features as you made your way towards the both of them. Nanami was so stuffed that he didn’t catch the way Gojo grins and opens his arms for you, watching the two of you embrace one another as a sinking feeling when he saw the delighted grin on your face.

The same grin that you used to give him after not seeing you for awhile.

Somehow Nanami managed to keep up an indifferent façade as you embraced your fiancée, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek in greeting whilst Gojo just nuzzles closer to you; in an attempt to milk all of the attention he can from you. “How needy.” You giggled at him before you turned to the man beside your fiancé with the intension of greeting him; only to freeze up when you realise who it was. “K-Kento?”

“Nice to see you again, Y/N.” Nanami greeted in his usual indifferent tone, trying to hide his heartbroken eyes beneath the shadow of his sunglasses as he tilted his head ever so slightly. “I guess some congratulations are to be said.” He stated simply before he gestures to your left ring finger, where a simple yet beautiful engagement ring rested on your finger. For some reason your heart sank as you awkwardly hid your hand behind your back, causing Gojo to raise an eyebrow as he glances between the both of you.

Was there something going on between the two of you?

“O-Oh, thanks.” You mumble out awkwardly, knowing immediately that Nanami was no longer in his usual indifferent mood. You can feel the slight hurt in his voice, one that causes your heart to break a little; bringing you back to the day you two broke up. How you promised to keep loving him until he was ready to return - yet here you are now, engaged to another man. It wasn’t like you fell out of love with him, you still love Nanami with all your heart, but that love had started to shift the years you two spend apart. And somehow, you started to fall for the white haired shaman known as Gojo Satoru.

But that doesn’t mean you didn’t feel any guilt for how evil you might seem to your ex for stringing him along like that. “I wasn’t expected to see you here.”

“I decided to come back.” Nanami stated simply with a shrug, glancing over at your quiet fiancé who blinks at him owlishly back at him. “Plus, Gojo here told me about a student of his by the name Itadori Yuji that I am supposed to take under my wing.” He continued, giving Gojo the chance to jump in as he smiles down at you, squeezing your shoulders gently. “That’s right! Kento-kun here said he wanted to come back! So his first job is to supervise Yuji-kun.”

“Oh.” You replied in a small tone, unsure of how to answer at all. But luckily Nanami stepped in before the awkward silence can drag on for long, pulling the sleeve of his jacket off his watch to check the time. “I don’t want to get in the way of your free time now, Y/N-san. I am going to go and rest up in my room before dinner is served.” He stated simply before bowing at the both of you, not meeting your eyes. “Excuse me.”

With that he turned to walk away, forcing himself to not look back at you as he made his way down the familiar hallways towards the dorms; the keys to the room he is to stay at for the time being clutched in his hand after he slipped it into his pocket. What was I thinking? He thought to himself as he continued his way down the empty hallway to the dormitories. Did I really think an amazing woman like that will wait for me?

He sighed to himself as he shakes his head a little, slipping his polished dress shoes off his feet before putting them on one of the free cubbies built into the wall; grabbing a pair of the guest slippers before he puts them on. “At least she managed to get engaged to Gojo. He’s definitely worthy of her love.” He mutters to himself, reminding himself to be happy that you found happiness. He doesn’t blame you for finding love once more - when he left this life behind, he also left you.

No call, no text, no attempt to reach out. Was he expected you to just fall into his arms once more? Pretend that nothing happened, and to go back to where you two once were? That thought alone caused him to let out a soft snort as he made his way towards the locked room, unlocking it with his keys. “Don’t be foolish, Kento. Be happy that she’s happy.” He mutters to himself as he entered his new room, closing the door behind him with a tired sigh.

“Guess you really were the one that got away.”

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dinamitae · 3 years

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i'm yours | ksj

part of the life goes on series

pairing: seokjin x f. reader genre: modern/quarantine!au, established relationship!au, fluff, slice of life word count: 2.5k+ girl what happened to drabbles??! rating: pg15 warnings: set during quarantine, talk of the pandemic, mentions of sex, suggestive comments, a gross amount of affection, literal tooth-rotting fluff summary: this is the second birthday you’re celebrating in quarantine and your boyfriend, seokjin, vows to make it even more memorable than the last.

a/n: uhh surprise!!! i planned to have jungkook's out next but i somewhat spontaneously got inspiration for this one and ended up cranking it out in about a week. but tbh this was so fun to write and i hope it shows :))

one more thing - this is the ring i used for reference ;) happy reading!

The lingering warmth of your boyfriend beside you slowly dissipating is what wakes you up this morning.

Previously beside you, actually, and you’re only about half awake at the moment. You’re vaguely aware of the comforter being pulled back, the chilly morning air tickling a sliver of your now-exposed back. You roll fully onto your stomach and fold your arms above your head as you listen to the soft rustling of fabric, your boyfriend quietly getting dressed. “What time is it?”

Seokjin chuckles, voice deep and still a little rough with sleep, and ignores your inquiry. Instead, he puts one knee on the bed so he can lay his head right by yours, nose centimeters from brushing your own. “Good morning, birthday girl.”

“Morning,” you rasp, eyes still closed. “What time is it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbles softly, tilting his head up to kiss your nose (you scrunch it almost reflexively, and he chuckles again). “Go back to sleep, angel.”

You pout at that. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I need to...run an errand.” You manage to pry one eyelid open to glare at him suspiciously. “Since when do you run errands?”

“Okay, your first birthday gift from me is that I’m not going to retaliate to that. I’ll be back in a bit.” The one eye you have open rolls ever-so-slightly at his wit before fluttering shut.

“Whatever,” you playfully sigh, reveling in the way his soft lips feel on your forehead. Completely oblivious to the adoring expression that your boyfriend wears, the last thing you hear is his receding footsteps before sleep overtakes you once more.

You wake up again about an hour later to the aroma of coffee wafting into your bedroom.

After slipping one of Seokjin’s big t-shirts and a fresh pair of panties on, you pad into your bathroom to brush your teeth, blankly staring at yourself in the mirror and watching the minty foam collect around the corners of your mouth. You’re turning 25 today. This is the second birthday you’re celebrating in quarantine, which at this point just feels...normal. You remember how sad you felt during your 24th birthday, how uncertain you felt about the state of the world around you. It almost felt wrong to celebrate anything, even your birthday, while there were people out there dying. Luckily, Seokjin was there to very level-headedly remind you that the same can be said for just about any point in time, and that you deserved to celebrate your birthday regardless of the circumstances. And so, albeit a little reluctantly, you did.

Honestly, being with Seokjin has been your saving grace during quarantine. The two of you had only recently started living together when everything shut down, and you’re both fairly busy (you recently started your last semester of law school, Seokjin is the co-editor in chief at a local newspaper), independent people— needless to say, there was definitely some trial and error when you first had to work from home. But you eventually fell into a nice rhythm that suited both of your work and solitude needs, and for that you are so, so thankful.

You finish the rest of your morning routine before heading downstairs, where you’re greeted by a box of pastries, two cups of coffee, and your boyfriend leaning his hip against the counter. He looks up from his phone with a smile when he hears you approach. “Good morning...again.”

“An errand, huh?” You eye the baby pink and white stripes lining the box on the counter, indicating that they’re from your favorite local bakery. You raise an accusatory eyebrow at Seokjin and mirror his stance.

“Yup,” he gives you a tender kiss on the lips. “Only for you. Happy birthday, babe.”

You smile and thank him softly, standing on your tippy toes to peck him on the lips again before grabbing an apple turnover. Seokjin takes that as an opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder. You sink your teeth into the pastry that’s still warm on your tongue, then you blindly try to offer your boyfriend a bite. Giggles escape both of your lips when you miss entirely and some jelly ends up on his cheek— you dutifully turn your head to kiss it off of his face before actually putting the treat in his mouth.

“As much as I love my apple turnovers,” you loll your head to the side so your face is half buried in the crook of his neck, “I’m a little disappointed that morning head wasn’t my first present.”

You feel just as much as you hear his rumbling laugh behind you. “Don’t worry,” he plants a kiss on the side of your head with a smirk, “I’m saving that for later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

So far, the day has consisted mostly of responding to a gracious amount of birthday text messages, phone calls, and even a few brief but heart-warming facetimes. At around noon, you and Seokjin pick up some fried chicken takeout for lunch, talking and laughing and eating in the safety of his car, before making a brief trip to the grocery store to get some ingredients for dinner along with a small birthday cake.

Evening rolls around, and Seokjin’s stomach grumbles impatiently while you’re cuddling on the couch— with a laugh you take that as a sign to start making dinner. As you’re opening a can of tomatoes for the vodka sauce you both love, your boyfriend puts on some music— more specifically, the playlist he curated for your birthday last year. You cook in comfortable silence alongside each other, save for the occasional “‘scuse me” when you maneuver around one another and the sound of your voices softly singing along to the lyrics. You’re just about to turn the heat down under the sauce so it doesn’t burn while the penne finishes boiling when one of your favorite sappy songs, Sunday Morning by Maroon 5, comes on shuffle.

“Awe, ‘cmere,” Seokjin coos and gently tugs you into his arms with the hand closest to him, holding it right above his heart while his other arm wraps around your torso. You snake your free arm over his broad shoulders and rest your cheek on the other side of his chest. The two of you resume your comfortable silence, basking in each other’s presence as you sway to the jazzy tune.

Sometimes you can’t believe that this is your life. Slow dancing in the kitchen with the love of your life was something you honestly thought was an exaggheration— just one of the many ways people romanticize love and all that it entails. Finding someone that understands you like no one else and loves you for all your flaws was something you merely dreamt of, something that seemed so unattainable. But here you are, dancing in the kitchen with the love of your life, feeling understood and loved and cherished in every way imaginable. And it’s all because of Seokjin.

In light of your thoughts, you let out a blissful sigh. “I love you, you know that?”

Your boyfriend peers down at you fondly, taken aback by your seemingly random proclamation. “Gee, after dating for three years I would hope so.”

You smack his shoulder with a tsk despite the warmth creeping onto your cheeks. “Shut up, I’m just feeling...soft. And it’s your fault, by the way.”

“Is it, now?”

“Yeah,” you mumble into his chest, before looking up to meet his eyes. “You just...make me feel so loved— so special, even when it’s not my birthday. And I hope I make you feel the same, because I really do love you, Jinnie. So much.”

Seokjin rubs a soothing hand on your back as he sucks in a breath and gives your hand, still in his, a reassuring squeeze. “Well, I hope you know that you make me feel the same and more, y/n. You make me so happy and I— I fall more and more in love with you everyday.”

You struggle to find the words to describe just how greatly you reciprocate his sentiment, so instead you pull him impossibly closer, your lips meeting in a languid kiss. Seokjin moves to deepen it, his hand gently cupping the side of your face while one of yours slides into his hair, when the timer set for the pasta rings through the air.

You reluctantly pull away, a faint smile on your lips. Seokjin huffs in mock annoyance as you wipe some lip gloss off of his bottom lip. “Sorry, I love you but I love properly cooked pasta more.”

After finishing your delicious homemade meal, you find yourself sitting at your kitchen table once again, your store-bought cake with mismatched candles lit on top sitting in front of you.

(“There are only five in here!” Your boyfriend calls to you from the kitchen, as you’re currently in the bathroom.

You bark out a laugh, unable to contain your amusement. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, leave it to us to forget to buy candles while we’re literally at the store getting a cake.” A pause. “Don’t worry, each candle can count for 5 years!”

“...Fuck off!”)

Seokjin hurries back from the light switch to sit across from you so he can properly sing you a happy birthday before the wax melts onto the cake. You listen intently, mesmerized by your boyfriend’s singing voice that’s just as beautiful as everything else you love about him. When he finishes, your eyes flutter shut, both out of serenity and obligation.

This is the part where you usually pretend to make a wish, but this year you feel like there are some important matters to be wished for. World peace, maybe? The pandemic ending soon would be nice— for everyone but especially for you being able to kick some attorney ass in person and not just on a zoom call. Happiness...is that too basic? Oh, also—

“Yah, are you writing an essay to the birthday fairy in that head of yours?”

You open your eyes to shoot him a glare that’s met with an amused smile from Seokjin. “That hardly makes any sense,” you weakly rebut, though you concede that you did have your eyes closed for longer than probably necessary. You extinguish all five candles in one blow.

While you cut two generous slices of your cake (red velvet with cream cheese frosting, your favorite), Seokjin goes into your bedroom to fetch your gift, flicking the lights back on as he exits. He returns with a small purple gift bag that has white tissue paper peeking out of the top and hands it to you, sitting beside you this time instead of across the table.

You open the card first (like the polite person that you are), which reads “Happy Birthday to my main squeeze” with lemons wearing sunglasses on the front. You’re still giggling at the pun when you unfold it completely, a few slips of card stock falling out as you do so.

“Coupons…?” Your voice trails off as you read the hand-written tickets. “One free chore, one free tickle attack— ooh, a free kiss! I think I’ll cash that one in now,” you wiggle our eyebrows comically at your boyfriend. He lets out a hearty, window wiper-esque laugh before leaning in to give you a peck on the nose, positively endeared.

You bite your lip in excited concentration as you flip through the remaining ones, before releasing it into a fond pout. “Thank you, bubs, these are so cute.” You’re still admiring your boyfriend’s doodles while he takes a deep breath in lieu of a response. “There’s one more thing in there.”

Your eyebrows pinch a bit in confusion at his sudden nervousness, but you don’t question it just yet. You put your hand back into the bag and fish around in the sea tissue paper until your fingers land on a small, velvet box. You freeze, wide eyes immediately flitting to meet your boyfriend’s. “Jin…”

“This is not a proposal I promise,” his words jumble together in his rush to calm your nerves. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in, before pulling the box out of the bag. Opening it up, a small gasp escapes your lips at what lay inside. The ring is delicate in every sense of the word; a thin, gold band holds a total of seven gems, three small diamonds on either side of a stunning, oval-shaped emerald. “O— oh my god, this is beautiful, I’m— Jin, I’m at a loss of words…”

“I’m glad you like it,” he hums, taking another deep breath. “I know we agreed that we don’t want to get married just yet, but I...I also know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Like I said earlier, y/n, you make me so happy— happier than I’ve ever been— and living with you during this stupid pandemic only solidified that.” He looks up to see you already admiring him through teary eyes, the enamored smile painting your features giving him the confidence to say his next sentence. “So this can be your reminder that I promise to marry you one day, and that I’ll do anything in my power to make you just as happy, if not more.”

You sit up a little straighter, caressing his cheek lovingly. “God, you already make me so incredibly happy...and you remind me every day that we’re in this for the long run— all the little things you do for me, every time you’re patient with me, constantly talking about getting a dog,” he lets out a watery chuckle at that. “I love this...so much, don’t get me wrong— but I don’t need a ring to remind me, you know?”

“I know, baby,” he turns to kiss the palm of your hand, “but I’m also tired of fending off guys at the bar. Now you’ll have a pretty little ring on your finger to let ‘em know you’re mine.”

The combination of his words and the playful, yet sincere grin on his lips strikes a chord within you, and not just in your heart; he is yours, and you are his. This isn’t exactly news to you— you’ve had this conversation with him a handful of times before, where you both agreed that you weren’t ready for marriage just yet. And while you were truthful in saying that you don’t need a ring to remind you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, it’s still one of the most thoughtful gifts you’ve ever received (it also makes you want to jump his bones...and soon).

Despite your racing heart and your thoughts that are far from innocent, you opt for rolling your eyes and inching closer until your faces are mere inches apart. You feel your eyelashes brush his cheeks as you briefly look down at his lips, then back up into his warm, inviting eyes. The same warm, inviting eyes that you’ll happily gaze into for the rest of your life.

“Yeah, I’m yours.”

a/n: if anyone happens to recall, this one was originally titled "a promise" on the series masterlist, but i decided to change it after writing that last bit :,) i hope you enjoyed reading, & feedback/comments are always appreciated!!!! <3

#sappiest shit i've ever written but i loved every second of it #seokjin fluff #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfiction #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfction #seokjin x female reader #kpop fanfiction #btshoneyhive #bangtaninn #my writing

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alovher · 3 years

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hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want.

hi! you say you don’t know much about what you’re getting to, that’s an easy fix. there are many coaches and advisors and blogs all over but i feel the best person to go to, to learn about loa is neville goddard. you can listen to his lectures (most videos are less than twenty minutes) on youtube and/or read his books (divineangelbee has the links pinned) for free.

i can feel the desperation you have for wanting to get this right, and i deeply empathize with you. you say everything you desire is important to you, ofc it is lol all of our desires are meaningful to us! but the degree of importance you assign your individual desires does not determine how hard or easy it is to manifest.

you say you’ve tried working on your self concept - why do you feel like the work you’ve done is seemingly not enough? or as you’ve put it ‘you keep breaking’? in what way do you break, what is the cause, what are the beliefs you hold about yourself and those around you that facilitate such breakage?

you say you don’t know what affirmations to use to combat your limiting beliefs - another easy fix! there are plenty of affirmations available for you to use that my peers and i post everyday! you can also come up with your own affirmations that are tailored to your specific situation, it is not complicated. for example, let’s say you have the limiting belief that you have to be in a good mood in order to manifest, or otherwise you will not receive your desire. you could affirm to yourself, “i am a limitless creator! no matter what i do or how i feel, my desires always come into fruition easily and quickly!” thats it :)

lastly, let’s talk about faith. you want proof that manifestation is real and yet you struggle to find the value in your fellow man’s success. if it is possible for them, why can’t it be possible for you? you have been manifesting your entire life, even before you knew what the law was. nothing has changed and there is nothing to change but yourself. it can be hard to believe in the impossible, and even harder to believe that you can manifest the impossible. but faith is the loyalty to what is not seen. faith is believing in yourself. your comment about “blindly following” other people is so interesting to me because 1. this journey has nothing to do with other people, 2. are you really blind? or is something blocking your vision? are you that something?, and 3. refer back to number 1…why are you following others, why not follow yourself?

all in all, i am available to talk anytime. 💓 i hope i’ve helped reassure you in some way. coming into loa after living a life of lack, things can feel confusing. but i promise, keep persisting and you will realize it’s not as complicated as you thought. you’re not a failure and you are capable of doing incredible things. the law is only as hard as you make it. you are not “affirming wrong”! this is your reality, your world, you’re the main character, the director, and you write the fucking script… act like it

#txt #law of attraction #law of assuming #law of assumption #neville goddard

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swanhookheart · 3 years

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Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed.

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into.

*Sigh*

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me.

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic.

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth.

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story.

#Shadow and bone #anti-mal #darklina #shadow and bone spoilers #grishaverse

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monsterfuneral · 3 years

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the summer of 1988 | the lost boys

Relationship: Poly!The Lost Boys x Fem!Reader

Summary: Revenge is a dark and dangerous road to go down, especially when the people you seek revenge against are all vampires.

Words: 4.5k

Warnings/Tags: Kidnapping, surf nazis, child endangerment but no child injury, brief descriptions of torture and injury from torture, blood, weapons, just general violence tbh, angst, swearing, Star says fuck, fluff/comfort at the end

Author’s Note: This took way to long to actually finish but I’m happy that it’s finally here. This is something I’ve been working on since late November/early December thanks to writers block so hopefully it actually turned out okay

REQUESTS OPEN

(please read my “I do NOT write” section before sending in anything <3)

---

The boardwalk was probably the most quiet you had seen in weeks. There were no exciting shows being hosted on the beach or any new rides to visit, and it being a Monday close to closing hours made it so the boardwalk was a lot less crowded than usual. The only people that you had seen tonight were groups of teenagers that left early on in the night, not risking being caught by their unknowing parents as they broke curfew with their friends. By default though it made business in the record shop sluggish, giving you the opportunity to organize the records that were going to be put on the shelves in the morning.

You had just sat back down on the stool behind the counter when the bell above the door rang. Your boyfriends and their smallest companion came walking through one by one. Paul was the first to greet you with a flirtatious smile as he leaned over the counter to ask you what you’d suggest he buy.

You playfully rolled your eyes and said “Yeah, like you have the money.” making Marko and David Chuckle from where they stood behind the other blonde.

The boys left Laddie in your care while they went off to feed, obviously not wanting to take the young human with them to witness their brutal feeding routine. So you put on a record that Laddie had come to love thanks to Paul, and turned the volume up a little louder than it usually would be during work hours. He sat on your stool swinging his legs back and forth while bopping his head along to the hypnotic guitar solo of ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’. He watched you go through the bins and organize any of the records that had been misplaced throughout the day. Waiting for you to finally clap your hands softly announce that you both were finally free to go. Laddie smiled up at you after you ruffled a hand through his hair and shrugged his overnight bag onto your shoulder.

The two of you were having a casual conversation about a new comic he had gotten from Sam when a guy approached you. He was an unpleasantly familiar face, a member of the surf Nazi’s that took a liking to coming into the record shop and bothering you on occasion with pathetic attempts at flirting. It was no surprise he singled in on you and started walking up to you with a confident swagger that he certainly would not have if the boys were standing behind you. He was as unpleasant as ever, complimenting your outfit that consisted of an old leather jacket that used to belong to David, ripped jeans, and an old band shirt that had a rip at the collar. You looked at him tiredly and attempted to weave your way out of the conversation but he simply would not budge. Laddie clutched the back of your jacket anxiously, waiting for the intimidating man to finally move on. You had to suppress the eyeroll that threatened to come forth when he started talking about how ‘killer’ the waves were today, his smile big as he gestured out towards the sparkling ocean.

“Listen man,” You started, looking back up at the surf Nazi- Derek you think he said his name was- grabbing Laddie’s hand and gently pushing him further behind you protectively “I really gotta go okay? My friends are waiting for me at the entrance and will totally come looking for me if I don’t go.” You hoped he didn’t call you out on your bullshit. You just wanted to go home and change into something more comfortable and give Laddie some actual food to eat that wasn’t boardwalk cotton candy.

Just like always when he would come around, you got a disgusting gnawing feeling in your stomach, a feeling that told you to run, run, get the fuck out of there. This time though it felt like it had been cranked up to ten. You anxiously glanced around at the other shops. The walkway you were practically cornered in was entirely empty thanks to the boardwalk getting ready to close down for the night. Laddie reached to tug on your hand silently making you look down.

Your other hand inched closer and closer to your jacket pocket, where you had a switchblade tucked into just in case something like this were to ever happen. The inevitable moment where you’d have to protect yourself and Laddie from any oncoming danger. The rising tension between your boyfriends and the surf Nazis didn’t exactly help either, not that you could blame them.

“Oh come on babe stay a little longer. Me and my buddies were actually about to go get something to eat, you should join us!” He insisted, his attempt at a sweet smile only seeming more and more sinister the longer you stuck around.

You frowned and raised a brow before shaking your head “No man, I really do gotta go. I’ve had a long day and I’d really just like to leave, and like I said my friends are waiting for me.”

He raised his hands up in surrender, his smile not faltering “Hey no problemo. Maybe next time right, honey?” You had to suppress the disgusted shudder at the pet name. He stepped aside with his hands behind his back and let the two of you go, you sighed and brought Laddie closer to your side, continuing your journey to the parking lot a little faster this time.

Once at your car you unlocked it and opened the back door, dropping the Laddie’s overnight bag onto the messy back seat and shutting the door, the sound echoing through the mostly empty parking lot.

You heard feet shuffling behind you but brushed it off, assuming it was just Laddie walking to the other side of your car. Until you felt a hand clap down on your shoulder and slam you against the drivers side door. Your cheek was pressed against the cold metal of your car and you shivered when you felt a puff of warm air on your skin.

“I thought you said your friends were waiting for you?” A harsh voice whispered against the shell of your ear. His body kept you pinned to your car leaving you with very little wiggle room, but you were able to dig through your pocket and fish out your knife, clicking it open and blindly stabbing behind you. His hand came around to try and grab your arm but you were able to knick him in the process, the sharp blade slicing across the top of his hand and then through the skin of his forearm making him yelp in surprise, hissing as he clutched the wounds that now had blood bubbling to the surface.

“You bitch!” He growled, his now bloodied hand burying itself in your hair, pulling your head back and slamming your forehead harshly against your car door, your head gave an instant throb at the assault and black spots dotted your vision. You felt your knees hit the asphalt below, not even realizing you were falling by the time your head was resting on the ground. All you could make out in the haze of your blackening vision was Laddie’s beaten up shoes frantically running to your side of the car, towards the danger. You felt your heart pick up and you wanted to yell at him to stay put but no words came out, a pathetic squeak coming from your parted lips instead. You could hear the faint echo of his voice yelling at you to get up. Your eyes were starting to slip closed. All sound started to fade, the only thing left being a loud never ending ringing as your body felt colder and colder before everything went silent.

---

The smell of blood was thick in the air, dark red staining the sandy shore beneath their feet being the remaining evidence of what had happened just fifteen minutes prior. David flicks the remains of his cigarette into the flames and walks himself over to the water, attempting to clean off the drying blood before it cakes itself in his beard. He took his gloves off and stuffed them into his coat pocket so he could wet his hands and wash the blood from his face.

“We’re all ready to go.” Dwayne said from behind him, his voice as level and soothing as always, even after feeding. His leather jacket was zipped up, not bothering to clean himself off beyond his face. Unlike Paul and Marko who had taken to splashing each other while attempting to clean the blood from their own faces.

Something was off about tonight, he couldn't place what or how, it was just something. A feeling that’s been gnawing at his senses since he stepped into the record shop to drop Laddie off with you. At first it was barely there, like an itch he couldn’t scratch, but as the night dragged on it was getting harder to ignore.

David stood from his crouched position and pulled his gloves back over his fingers “Everything’s good?” He asked, not turning away from the water just yet.

“Whatever’s left will be picked up by the rain that’s rolling in later tonight.” Dwayne answered, staring out at the water with his friend and tilting his head back to look at the moon. It was almost completely full, beaming down on the group as the stars around it sparkled. He side-eyed David, seeing how stiff his body was, the occasional facial twitch as his brows threatened to draw together. They could all feel the shifting in the air, a thickening blanket of unease driving their senses crazy and the brunette could tell David was close to dropping the calm façade.

“Let’s get out of here already then!” Paul called from where he was standing in the water, itching to finally get to your apartment.

David gave one last sigh before taking one step backwards from the wave that barely grazed his shoe, finally tearing his eyes away from the water and coaxing himself out of his own head. Dwayne was already turning around and heading over to the line of bikes, trailing just behind the two blondes. With one last look at the fire, David set off with them too, his fingers already inching closer to his pack of cigarettes.

---

You couldn’t even tell how long you had been tied to this chair, time lost in the pain that pulsed through your entire body. It was hard to focus on anything else other than the loud sound of rushing blood in your ears, almost deafening now that you were left to stew in your pain. Derek had gone off deeper into the warehouse, weaving around the almost endless racks of stolen clothes, beat up chairs that had the stuffing half hanging out of the bottom, a coffee table that had three different ashtrays sat atop it. Next to the ash trays was a picture that had a faded picture of his friends tucked behind the broken glass. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it, your mind still reeling at his revelation earlier in the night.

He had slapped down an all too recognizable horror comic, the very same one Sam showed you a few months after Max was killed. Derek’s copy was worn down from constant reading and had sticky notes protruding from the tops of the pages. He angrily told you how he had been out on a beer run one night and came back to the boys throwing his friend’s mauled bodies into the very same bonfire he had lit up not even two hours beforehand. How he was left with no answers until he found ‘Vampires Everywhere!’.

Your whole body went rigid and cold, an acidic rock forming in your throat as you finally realized that he *knew*, he was all too aware of the boy’s undead status. Derek demanded you tell him the location of the coven’s hideout. When you wouldn’t budge he landed a blow on your jaw, your cheek, hell even your stomach wasn’t safe from his violent outburst. You were shaking from the pain by the time he was done, his fingernails biting into the skin of your cheeks as he forced you to look into his eyes and he asked once again.

“Where do those freaks hide out during the day?”

To which you replied a choked and raspy “Fuck… You.”

He was finally on his last nerve when he let out a strangled growl, pushing himself away from you, your face being forced to the side with his rough treatment, the force almost sending the old wooden chair you were tied in backwards. He stormed away, the thunk of his boots echoing loudly throughout the warehouse. Growing more and more distant until all you could hear was the radio that had so ironically been playing a Dead Kennedys song.

You were sent into overdrive, scraping the ropes harshly against a nail that was poking out of the rickety wooden chair he had decided to strap you too. Your shoulders ached from the hours of having your hands tied behind your back, but a little more pain was worth the inevitable escape. So you worked faster, bringing the rope closer to the wood and the nail, your fingernails digging into your palms as the rope started to burn your bare wrists, having hiked up the sleeves to your jacket.

Once you were finally up from the chair you ran over to the side table looking for something, anything you could use against Derek. You carefully moved the ashtrays and empty beer cans aside, fear gripping your throat so tight that you could hardly breathe. You let out a quiet frustrated sound as you came up short. There was nothing, no other tables, the whole room seemed to just be filled with useless junk, not a single weapon in sight.

You could hear the rope straining, sending your heart into your throat. The adrenaline coursing through you only escalated as you thought of Laddie and where he could possibly be in this place. You hadn’t seen him since being knocked out in the parking lot, but he had to be here. You could feel the rope tearing more and more until it finally gave one last loud snap, your burning wrists rubbed raw and red that ached to move. You grimaced as you urgently began untying the ropes around your ankles.

“Looking for this?”

You whipped around, Derek was standing at the entrance of the clothing rack maze, waving your own knife at you while holding Laddie against him with one arm secured over his chest. Laddie’s finger dug into Derek’s forearm, unable to push him away thanks to the loss of the strength he had as a half vampire. Derek tucked your knife in his back pocket and pulled Laddie closer to him. He shook his head and let out a long sigh, almost like you were a child that had misbehaved.

“I knew I should have tied you up with cords instead, too late now I guess.” He hit the side of his own head lightly with the palm of his hand, a smirk forming on his lips “How silly of me, right?”

You anxiously glanced back and forth from him and Laddie, the pit in your stomach was getting ready to swallow you whole at this point. Laddie looked at you fearfully, quietly muttering your name. You had to stop yourself from stepping closer out of instinct to comfort the child that you had grown so close to in the past year.

“I thought I’d give you a little more motivation… you know to tell me where your buddies like to hang.” He shifted the wooden stake into his other hand and scratched the side of his head with the sharpened tip, almost as a way to taunt you with his carelessness “You know since you wouldn’t tell me when I was hurting you I just thought why not break out the big guns right?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You yelled, lip trembling “He’s just a child! He’s not even a vampire! He has nothing to do with any of this!”

“Oh sure he does! If he’s what gets me my answers then he has everything to do with this.” Derek chuckled, shrugging his shoulders, seemingly indifferent to the situation “I mean I don’t *want* to kill a kid but come on, you’re not really giving me any other choice here baby.”

The casual usage of the pet name made you want to gag. His eyes were staring you up and down hugging Laddie closer to his body and challenged you with an eye squint, as if saying *”come get him, I dare you.”*

You watched Derek’s every move, wishing just this once that you *were* a vampire. He dropped the hand that held the wooden stake down to his side, an angrier expression morphing on his features as he steps just a little closer. He was red in the face and a vein was starting to protrude from his neck, the visible anger was a lot scarier now that Laddie was in his arms, a ticking time bomb ready to explode any second.

“Well?” He asked, tone dark and steady, even with the anger that was so evident “What’ll it be sweet cheeks?”

Before you could even think up an answer a loud echoing boom sounded throughout the warehouse, making the three of your freeze. One rack of clothes after another was knocked to the ground with a loud clang while the wind whistled in the distance.

“It’ll be nothing, you fucking piece of shit.” Star growled out, pinning Derek to the concrete ground, the heel of her shoe digging harshly into the thin fabric of his muscle tank top. Her features were sharp and her yellow eyes were narrowed down at the much larger man. She didn’t even flinch when he tried to pry her leg off of him, sputtering under the pressure, unable to breathe. Her strength had definitely maximized since she transitioned to a full vampire with Michael, not so easily thrown around now that she had strength that almost rivaled David’s. So it was safe to say he was going nowhere unless she allowed him to.

Dwayne and David were the first ones to get to you. Dwayne swept Laddie up into his arms while David examined your bruised features, “You’re gonna be okay.” He said softly, cupping under your chin gently, the leather of his gloves being a welcome coolness against your heated skin.

“Get them out of here,” Dwayne said to Michael, who was crouched next to Derek.

You could practically see the steaming anger roll off of the curly haired brunette in waves, knowing that over the year of him being a vampire he too had grown close to Laddie and saw him like a little brother who he felt the need to protect.

“Hope you guys are up for dessert.” David’s voice echoed throughout the warehouse unlike any of the other’s. He looked back at you, and just by how his eyes flashed yellow you knew Derek would probably be in pieces by the time the six of them were done with him.

They were all livid, and while David and Dwayne were the best at hiding it, Paul was not. He was fuming, practically foaming at the mouth as Marko had to hold him back from pouncing on Derek too early. After all he had threatened the life of their mate, and not only that but a child that was formerly a part of their coven as well, he had crossed all of the lines. Usually in hypothetical situations you had thought of you would always think Marko would be the angriest. But given how protective and clingy Paul could be, how he would practically purr at the mere sight of you, it made sense why he was most visibly angry out of the four of your boyfriends.

“Michael.” Dwayne said more firmly this time, finally setting Laddie back down onto his feet so he could nudge the other brunette a little too harshly with his foot. Michael glared up at him only for his features to soften when he looked at both you and Laddie. “Go” He didn’t have to say much else to convince Michael.

“Come on, let’s get you guys the hell out of here.” Michael urged, hoisting Laddie up on his back while you trailed closely behind, carefully walking over the fallen clothing racks.

The outside of the warehouse was no better than the inside. It was a junkyard of discarded furniture, cars, and who knows what else. Thankfully though it wasn’t cold or windy like it had been the past couple of nights. Instead the humidity was starting to set in, ready for the rain that was coming. Even with the sticky heat, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort now that you were outside, knowing that tonight could have had a much different outcome if the vampires had come any later.

“I scoped the area out with Marko so there aren’t any other surfers around.” Michael reassured, probably sensing your growing fear of the possibilities. “We won’t be long okay? I promise.” Michael squeezed your shoulder gently before letting Laddie off of his back, “You two stay put.”

It was nice seeing how much Michael had grown, how caring and protective he had become over the coven. While his relationship with the boys certainly had it’s rocky patches they eventually smoothed out. He was one of them and watching him fly back to the warehouse left you smiling for the first time since Derek had walked up to you on the boardwalk.

You looked down at Laddie, grabbing his hands gently and sitting both of you down on the grass beneath your feet. He seemed to be fine physically, and you were sure if Michael had smelled blood on him he would have said something.

Even then you still had to ask “He didn’t hurt you did he?” You gently moved some strands of soft hair from in front of his eyes, trying to get a better look at his face.

“No… but he hurt you though.” He answered sadly, turning the topic back on you.

You chuckled quietly, wincing at the pain that still radiated from your stomach “I’ll be fine. Nothing a little Neosporin won’t fix.” Laddie stuck his tongue out at the mere mention of the medical product. All too familiar with it after his countless mishaps falling off of Dwayne’s skateboard or down the cave stares after it rained.

“Ouch.” He muttered, shaking his head before giggling quietly. You smiled at him, pushing his shoulder gently before ruffling his hair.

---

The cave felt so still. With the events that had happened tonight you weren’t very hopeful when it came to things being business as usual. It wasn’t still in a comfortable way either, it was a restless ‘who’s going to cave and ask the questions first’ suffocating stillness. David was sat smoking in his chair as per usual while the rest of the boys stared around or at you almost like they were waiting to see if you were going to fall apart. Which at this point you weren’t entirely sure if you would or not either. In a way you were surprised how quiet the boys were. No fight sparked, nobody demanded answers from you, just silence accompanied by comforting touches and loving kisses. Even Star and Michael stayed behind, planning on staying for the next few nights just in case. You knew they would be paranoid going back home and leaving Laddie behind, who refused to leave without you.

Dwayne sat next to you, cleaning the dry blood from your face gently, while Paul clung to your other side remaining mindful of your other bodily injuries. Your hands still shook from the remaining adrenaline and your head was still pounding from the onslaught of abuse you had suffered while with Derek. He had been so insistent on getting to the boys, planning on going down any road he could just to avenge his friends.

All in all the night had been a complete shitshow. But at least you and Laddie were safe, whether you actually felt so or not was up to you. Tonight had been enough to shake you up for a while, and you knew any other interactions with future surf Nazis would surely bring up some unwanted memories.

Paul squeezed your hand, bringing you closer to his body when Dwayne finally finished cleaning you up. All of the bloodied rags discarded to the side to be taken care of tomorrow.

“What d’you think of me and the boys spending the night in your room.” Paul asked quietly, his chin resting on your shoulder as he strategically caged you in between his legs and against his chest. “So no big bad vamp slayers can get to our girl.” He attempted to tease, but it only served to turn your stomach.

It truly wasn’t something you had concerned yourself with, or thought anything of. Derek’s incessant visits to the record store had been short from unusual, if anything he was considered a regular right under the boy’s. But it wasn’t until tonight that you realized it was for a much deeper and sinister purpose, and it terrified you. He had talked in detail about how he had stalked you and your schedule for months, watching your every move on the boardwalk up until tonight. All of this just to get a shot at the boys, a shot he *knew* he would miss.

Plus you hated the idea of going to the boys over every little thing. You were a big girl who can handle her own business and you didn’t think it was something that concerned them. You didn’t want to rely on them for everything, that wasn’t something you ever wanted. If there was something you needed to take care of alone you were willing to do it, but with Derek’s extensive observation you had no chance of winning against him alone.

“Hey…” Dwayne muttered, fingers brushing gently under your chin to lift your head up “This isn’t your fault. You know that right?”

You nodded, not knowing how to respond verbally. His eyes were soft and understanding, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips before bringing your legs over his lap and scooting closer to both you and Paul. They didn’t want to leave you alone tonight, knowing you needed all the reassurance as possible right now. Especially with so much guilt weighing on your shoulders, you felt like you were seconds away from cracking. But the closer they got the less suffocated you felt. At this moment, you felt at home.

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redteabaron · 3 years

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I really hated the way Dany burning Dosh Khaleen was shown as badass moment. How do you think it would happen in books? How would she take entire dothraki army to follow her?

The show made a lot of missteps in its clumsy attempts to hide who was the villain vs who wasn't. By doing these grand gestures filled with a feeling of triumph, good lighting, and some nice orchestral music, of course we're meant to take it as a Good Thing. They missed the mark a lot and you are very right- this was absolutely one of them. They treated the dothraki people as a shifting background to suit Dany's mood, when they should've applied them more as individuals, even as background characters. In writing it's a little more understandable that we're not meant to see the dothraki as "people" so much as a textured background from which D@ny regards things - because we're only seeing them from her POV, reading her thoughts. On the screen her POV is not our end-all-be-all and so it just reinforces the idea that the dothraki are really, truly like this, and this isn't just D@ny's personal feelings coloring her interactions or observations.

And that's a good question, how would D@ny take these people who only, apparently (🙄 jfc grrm), follow anyone blindly who wields enough power, regardless of how she views their culture, and them individually? I have no idea. But tbh burning down a holy structure of theirs in an effort to make herself out to be their leader while "uplifting" and "educating" them of their "savage, barbaric ways" would be on track for her. It won't be a triumphant, good thing (apart from Dany's POV), with the dothraki being ever so grateful of what has happened. They'll be terrified. This woman has dragons and will burn you and everything you know if you don't obey. It won't be a power move to the dothraki, imo, so much as what they view as a necessity to their survival. They'll be hostages - why else cross the sea, something that terrifies them on a lovecraftian level, to go get a fucking chair they don't care about? Because they're more afraid of something else if they don't obey.

If it happens, which, tbf, sounds possible b/c I doubt the show came up with the idea all on its own, D@ny won't be walking through the fire again. We've already seen her do it once - doing it multiple times was a show-only thing.

The book version of the burning of Dosh Khaleen may even be the first instance she realizes, or the audience will be introduced, to the idea that she isn't fire-proof. She may burn herself and lie to herself that that's not what happened, even as the truth is revealed to the readers. It's what she thought and believed about the Targaryens - they couldn't get sick, and yet she gets deathly ill after her flight with Drogon. And she still believes she's not sick.

It'll be another nod to the readers that she can burn, sort of ominous foreshadowing alongside the fear of the dothraki that we'll undoubtedly see implicitly or in subtext properly, while she's high on her own power. It won't be wholly a victory for her I think, as it was presented in the show.

That said, I'm not sure on the deets anon. I am curious how it plans to unfold, but I think the general idea has been revealed. She has no money, no one cares about her name - she only has military power (including dragons) and fear. She'll use them.

#anti daenerys targaryen #anti daenerys #anti d&d

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loth-wolffe · 3 years

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Hi love! May I send you a 📝? 🌻 x

Send me a 📝 and I’ll tell you what my favorite fic of yours is (and what I love about it!) 💕

hi sam!! of courseeee<33

all of ur work is so amazing and this was really really hard. like, i literally spent like a whole minute staring at your masterlist just thinking of which one is my favorite.

and since it was so hard I'm gonna go and say my top three (3) bc yes.

this is gonna be so long I'm so sorry.

soo my super top one (1) would def be chain of command. that one is SO hot i swear. but it's not just that. i mean. it's so beautifully written and like, everything you write is so amazingly done but the way you wrote thrawn feels so... him??? and for me he's a really hard character to write bc his personality is sort of hard to fully grasp and yet you did it in the most precious way, like, i can totally hear thrawn in my head with every dialogue. and you made him so yours it's mesmerizing.

and the build up! uhGggg, i could literally quote every single thing of the "introduction" of the fic. and you know, i just love everything about it, and !!! the little moments where he shows this something I can't really pinpoint the name of but it's this mix of softness and care.

when he holds her hand as she rides the toy, or the "is it better?" and when he sounds almost fond and the whole ch’itiseb thing,,,, I– fUCk. I AM crying sam.

and i love even more how it all comes to this:

There’s a small furrow of tension between his brows you’ve never seen before; a sheen of sweat across his upper lip. A tiny strand of cobalt hair has fallen across his forehead. By anybody else’s standards, he still looks nothing short of perfectly composed. But on him… these tiny signs of his slipping control are enough to throb deep between your legs. The Grand Admiral; sweating - because of you.

I- woah. the power u have given us. and i just really really like when these bad, hard, unexpressive men turn out to break for you, because of you.

and it's sO hot. so. hot. to have that kind of effect on someone. and you wrote it so amazingly, because it's not the obvious things, but the small little ones, like the sweat and the hair and how composed he must look and also not really.

and THE ENDING !!! god.

Sitting beside you, he methodically cleans the cooling cum from your body, and you can’t quite look at him as he does. Embarrassedly, you reach to take it from him.

“Thank you, sir. I can manage.”

His tone is mild, the edges of his lips lifting as he dips the damp edge into your navel.

“Perhaps. But I would prefer to.”

I JUST— this always, always has me wanting to hide my face on a pillow and i smile SO much. because there's this,,,, this thing.

how reader tries to put back that wall of professionalism between them, because at the end he is her boss, and the awkwardness she feels must be so palpable, but he wants to do this, for her. because for him there's no wall to break down or to pull back up.

"perhaps. but I would prefer to."

I MEAN– AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you wrote this so soft. like he has this affection for her that he doesn't know how to approach, how to act on it. so it's these little things.

and i mean yeah, this is so fucking hot u know, but also it's so sweet and it's more than just smut u know. it's these little glimpses of those things that hide behind that makes my heart yEARN.

ALSO OMG WHEN TJEY KISS I- AJSKAKDJAKDJAJS I CANT EVEN SAM THAT WAS SO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

my second favorite fic is that jealous fox one i just !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and u know at the beginning when u wrote

“I don’t need sleep,” he’d told you, sounding just slightly manic. “I’m good for at least another six hours.”

You hadn’t argued. You’re still shy around him despite this being your third date, and the last thing you want is for him to think you’re trying to brush him off. He’s just so intimidating; the Commander of the entire Coruscant Guard — so hard and efficient, his authority unquestionable.

i both laugh and cry bc first of all, fox needs a break, and second of all SAME. and i just love how relatable this is. how human. to be shy and slightly awkward and hold back a bit when you're entering into a relationship with someone.

AND WHEN.

Fox’s face looks perfectly composed, but you’re sure you don’t imagine the faint narrowing of his eyes.

“Thorn.”

IM SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. i have NO words to describe the things this fic does to me. I just–

and tbh it's SO HOT.

and everything that follows is even Hotter. when he says “Fuck, you’re wet. What about this? This all for me too?” DAMN.

and before this gets any longer. i gotta say the third (3) part of mutual arrangement is my FAVEST.

and i aDORE everything about this

Slowly, so he knows what you’re doing, you reach out and release the catch at the back, lifting the helmet slowly off. He doesn’t try to stop you, although you see his posture stiffening in his chair. With his face finally free, you pause to take in the sight of him. He’s frowning, always frowning, and you automatically press your finger gently to the line between his dark brows, trying to smooth his expression. He looks tired, a shadow of stubble across his jaw and his hair sticking up in messy tufts. You can’t help the little lift to your lips… you’ve missed him, even though he’s been here the whole time.

“Hi,” you whisper.

And the sight fills your chest with light; his face relaxes fractionally. “Hi,” he echoes, sounding vaguely amused. You bend and press your lips quickly to his, standing between his knees, and he catches your wrists, holding you there as he leans in to deepen the kiss. Reaching blindly behind you to leave his helm.

I just– [incomprehensible crying]

sam u are really out there blessing us with all these beautiful words and content.

and i am TRASH for boba, and even more for soft boba. and idk if I told you this before but the way you write him is so good. so so so good. I'm always left speechless with the ease you seem to portray him and into your fics.

and this little bit that follows

“What happened to no distractions?” you murmur against his mouth, and he bites your bottom lip in warning, grinding you down onto the hardness of his codpiece.

“You happened,” he shoots back. “You can’t follow my fucking rules, on my ship,” and the rough quality of his voice would be threatening in any other circumstance but here it sends a thrill through you like a bolt of plasma.

consider me ugly sobbing and h word.

i really can't believe your talent babe, it's unparalleled. and the way you put all these emotions and make this beautiful work of pure art and make the reader feel all these things it's just– it's amazing. really.

tbh i could spend my whole life just breaking down your fics and telling you every single little thing i adore about them.

ALSO OMGGGG that cody fic with the strap 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 i think about it A LOT. so hot. fuck. its 1000000/10 i swear. no thoughts just this fic.

#tbh all of ur work is amazing omg #ari answers #ask games #also this took me so long bc i took a small break every two minutes to reread like everything that is on your masterlist lmao #sam ✨

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dreamiehrs · 4 years

Text

nct dream and what games they would play on Roblox

I think I’m pretty certified to say this bc I have been playing Roblox with my lovely friend every morning for almost a week or 2 straight so... yeah. also, someone has probably done this before and I just wanted to say that this is my own original ideas and thoughts about what games they would play in Roblox :) anyways, let’s get into it losers.

[also, big thanks to my amazing wonderful good friend ren aka @dreamzenct for making this adorable header for me!! love u lots also u guys need to check out her blog she is... amazing at writing <3 mwah :D]

mark lee ↬ story game and/or silent assassin

yes, I can see mark playing some dumb ass story game like cruise, vacation, break in, etc.

him and jaem would just spend hours mocking how silly the story games can be sometimes, and even though they criticize the games sometimes, they can’t help but to feel drawn to how silly they were LMAO

would get upset when he would die from something ridiculous in the game... also calling it now that mark is also terrible at parkour. idk I just... feel like he would mess up the momentum of jumping onto stuff or would cut the jump short.

jaemin would literally just laugh at how bad mark is. “mark... I hate to say it, but you utterly SUCK at video games. you’re even worse when you play fps games.”

“yah jaemin... u don’t want me to buy you dinner tonight?”

yeah that gets jaemin to shut up right away LMAOO.

going onto why he would play silent assassin... yeah hyuck would force him to play this wbk this would happen eventually.

would be a not so great assassin at first, but I feel like after a few hours of playing, he would get the hang of it. however, whenever he would be the target he would be killed RIGHT AWAY by whoever the assassin is... in conclusion: mark has no idea what he’s doing most of the time while playing that game SAHDJSADJASHJ

hyuck would troll him so hard about it, too, saying stuff like: “omg learn the controls next time!!” “man, you absolutely suck at getting the briefcases like??? THEY’RE MARKED FOR U DUMBO! HAHA, GET IT? UR NAME IS MARK AND I JUST SAID MARKED- okay I’ll stop now.”

yeah mark would def just end up banning hyuck after he trolls him 500 times and goes back to playing cute but silly story games with jaem.

huang renjun ↬ murder mystery

yes I am still on my renjun detective agenda bullshit!!!!

but honestly I can see renjun rocking everyone’s shit when he’s the guard and absolutely OBLITERATES the murderer.

would probably get angry when he yells at everyone else that the murder is in a room somewhere and no one ends up listening to him.

“GUYS HE’S IN THE GUARD OFFICE!!!” also yes he types in all caps at all times this is renjun we’re talking about here.

then he would end up getting killed by the murderer and would spectate everyone and just yells in chat about how stupid everyone was being.

“GUYS I SAID HE’S IN THE GUARD OFFICE!!! TF ARE U GUYS STUPID???”

also he would be a part of the troll trio containing him, hyuck, and lele. these 3 would be UNSTOPPABLE trolls on roblox and just any games they played on roblox in general.

he would get frustrated when hyuck would just run around him in murder mystery and end up distracting him as he tries to figure out where the murderer is. chenle would just shoot blindly and would end up running off somewhere alone to get killed by the murderer himself.

and yes, he would get on the other players for being terrible murderers and not having any technique for killing ppl on the game. “you guys suck!! do you guys even have a certain technique/strategy on how to kill ppl without getting caught on this game?!”

chenle and hyuck would just laugh their asses off on how serious renjun was about this game like... chill man it’s not that deep LMAO.

I can even see the younger members just pissing him off and teasing him so that eventually renjun just rage quits AHJDDHJAS. chenle would end up just screaming in renjun’s ear and renjun would slam his fist down on the desk in front of him and would just LEAP at chenle irl.

the other members wouldn’t be concerned when they hear a crash come from renjun’s room. they were used to hearing stuff like that from renjun’s room as he’ll occasionally want to just wrestle someone (mainly hyuck or chenle).

but yes, wbk that renjun would EXCEL at murder mystery and just mystery games in general in roblox.

lee jeno ↬ adventure games and/or flee the facility

I feel like jeno would love adventure games so much like??? idk he just seems to be into that type of stuff.

I don’t see him as a rage quitter tbh? like I feel like he’d be so chill with everything going on that he wouldn’t get as angry as renjun does while gaming LMAO

he would just listen to some chill lofi music and just finish quests left and right in his own little world. I can see hyuck just being a little meanie head and creeping up on jeno without him knowing, and yes, jeno would almost spill all of his water onto his laptop when donghyuck does so.

however.... I can TOTALLY see him playing flee the facility with the rest of the dreamies. I feel like he’d especially play it with jaemin bc the 2 of them would be RELENTLESS when they become the beast omg LMAOO

jeno would be all giggly just having a good time and then BOOM jaemin destroys him with his hammer and just drags jeno to one of his freezing capsules LMAOO

jaemin would just be like “jeno~? where are you~?” all creepy like and jeno would just be in a room somewhere using his AMAZING hacking skills to escape (yeah no he messes up at hacking a lot... SAHJDSADJ)

meanwhile, jeno as the beast would act all scary but it wouldn’t intimidate jaemin at all LMAO jaem would be like “HAHA COME AND GET ME LOSER!! OH WAIT, U CANT BC U CAN’T CRAWL UNDER STUFF HAHAAHA- oh shit wait he got me HELP!!”

even though jaem tries to act all tough, he ends up getting killed by the beast, aka jeno, every time jeno is the beast. yes, jeno is just too good at being the beast for his own good.

jaemin would do good, too, but I can see him being better at hacking than jeno. omg just imagine jaemin hacking something and he’s almost done and then SUDDENLY he’s boped on the head by jeno’s hammer and it scares him so badly.

however, I feel like jeno would rope jaemin into playing more adventure games with him and jaemin would def just complain the whole time about how long it takes to walk to get the items for quests. wbk jaem is a huge complainer, I mean, have you heard how much he complains about jisung not wanting to accept his love? LMAO

jeno would just be vibing, though, not even paying attention to jaemin’s complaining and just working on his quests in his time. we love a chill king.

lee donghyuck ↬ silent assassin

again... do I even have to explain my reasoning behind this?

hyuck literally plays Overwatch 24/7 until it’s almost 2 or 3 am at night... so why wouldn’t he do the same but with silent assassin on roblox instead??

I can see him just getting upset when he only gets 4th place in the free for all game mode. he’d be like “dammit not again!! ugh this guy just stole all my kills what the heck!?!”

obviously he would get better at the game bc he would play the shit out of it. he would probably play it 24/7 like he does with Overwatch and would hit level 40 in a few days.

I can see it now, his desk littered with empty redbull bottles as he tells himself he’ll only play one more round of silent assasin... yeah no that was a lie he ends up playing until he’s ready to pass out in his bed.

and ofc johnny would be like “bro wtf why are u so addicted to this game?? get some rest man.”

“no.... I need to... upgrade my weapons more.... I need... MONEY!”

I can also see him forcing mark to play this game with him but lemme tell you something... mark would absolutely suck at this game. I mean, ofc he would get better as time passed but he wouldn’t be as good as hyuck.

when he first was assigned assassin I can just hear him being like “omg how do I move?!?! WHAT SOMEONE JUST KILLED ME!!’

hyuck would just sigh and type in the chat “you suck man learn the controls next time 🙄”

“stfu troll u can’t say anything until u learn the controls for pubg” mark would say back and would accidentally get banned or something for his swearing SAHDASHDJA.

I feel like hyuck would get banned too bc I can DEF see him as a troll alongside chenle. would probably scream dramatically when someone would kill him on the game too and would be an AMAZING assassin.

he would def ambush mark any second he got to as he was the assassin and would probably get the most kills in every game mode. mark would end up rage quitting and then hyuck would say something about mark being such a pansy. (and yes, that’s how hyuck gets banned LMAO mark bans his trolling ass)

na jaemin ↬ where’s the baby and/or daycare

okay so I can def see jaemin forcing jisung to play where’s the baby with him just bc he considers jisung his child... yes jaem loves jisung so much that he’s convinced that he birthed him HJSADHADJ

jisung would always want to be the adult bc he REFUSES to be the baby (mainly bc jaem wants him to be the baby on the game every time)

jaemin would be like “omg lemme take care of u jisung!! omg NO DON’T CHOP OFF MY ARM WTF SUNGIE!?”

jisung would be ruthless while playing with jaemin... he would just want to kill jaemin all the time and jaemin would be frowning about it the entire time.

“you know what, sungie? I’ll let you kill me on this game bc of how much I love you 😚“

“ew no nvm I’m leaving 🤮”

however, I feel like jaemin would be good at the hide and seek mode for where’s the baby. he’d find jisung within SECONDS. I can just imagine jisung hiding in the bush or something and jaemin would just immediately KNOW that jisung would be in the bush like... idk maybe it’s his seventh sense (😏)

also, his sixth sense is that he knows when jisung is hungry, sad, angry, annoyed, all of the above man. yes, he can just sense those things and honestly none of the other members in nct dream understand HOW he can do that. (renjun is convinced that jaem is from a completely different planet and is only here to baby jisung... I mean, he’s not wrong though??? LMAO)

for the reason why he plays daycare... yeah maybe it’s just an excuse to scare jisung with that creepy demon character LMAO. he knows how much of a scaredy cat jisung is, and just loves hearing jisung scream when the demon always spawns near him SHJDASJDH

jaemin knows all the ins and outs of daycare and just abt story games in general... and yes, jisung def eats the poisonous apple and ends up dying right after they escape the daycare SADJASHDJH

I can see jaemin and mark playing story games in their free time, and when one of the younger members join them, they just know it’s gonna be fun when they have no idea what’s going on :D (and when they eat something poisonous)

zhong chenle ↬ tycoon and/or a horror game

so wbk that this nerd would play a tycoon to make even more money than he has right now.

to be specific, he would probably be the richest person on the server and just taunt people with how much money he has.

“oh you guys want this??? a million dollars??? well.... okay I’ll give it to you... SIKE BITCH U THOUGHT!”

he would be the biggest troll ever I’m calling it now.

he would probably end up getting banned for laughing at another user crying about not having enough money on the tycoon game.

“awhhhh you don’t have as much money as me??? haha oh well not my problem 😎😎“ (yes chenle is an avid user of this emoji)

he would have to end up making a new roblox account bc of how he was banned and the guy who he made fun of would end up just chuckling behind his screen about it. (chenle wouldn’t care though LMAO he would still come back and rock that kid’s shit and be the richest person on the server)

I can also see him playing some scary game and roping jisung into it just to scare him shitless.

“OMG JISUNG WATCH OUT THERE’S A DEMON BEHIND U!!! HAHA MADE U LOOK!!!”

cue jisung flinching like a madman to just realize no one was behind him. “lele ur such an ass!!”

however, chenle would also just scream when anything remotely scary happens just to scare jisung even more. jisung would end up rage quiting at this and saying that he’s gonna go to bed instead.

and yes chenle would wake jisung up at 3 am just to scare him with an image from the horror game they played on roblox earlier. you remember how they scared him by setting a cockroach as his home & lock screen on his iPad that one time? yeah just imagine that but with a demon face from a horror game SHDASJDJ.

park jisung ↬ bee swarm simulator

do I even have to explain this???

he would end up getting addicted to the game after chenle had shown it to him one day.

“OMG CHENLE LOOK AT THIS LEGENDARY BEE I JUST GOT OMG OMG!!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE KING BEETLE JUST KILLED ME THIS IS UNFAIRRRRRR!” chenle would just frantically scream into jisung’s ears and jisung swore that one day he would become deaf bc of his best friend.

chenle would show jisung all the tips and tricks on how to be better at the game and next thing u know jisung plays the game almost every day. he also freaks out when his bees get sad bc of the field they’re in and immediately goes back to his hive to feed them and make them feel better.

also jisung’s favorite bee would def be the demon bee.... no I will not elaborate on this.

jisung would treat his bees like his own children, making sure they’re all fed and happy. he would scream whenever he would get a royal jelly and would be obsessed with just hatching random bees all the time.

would def do the most just to upgrade all of his items but he’d do that just so he can fly everywhere and move faster. yes he would want to use his glider everywhere even when he doesn’t need to use it he uses it.

would probably end up getting stuck somewhere on the map and chenle would have to help him LMAOO

he would def complain about how much pollen he would have to collect and then would get distracted by how cute his bees are 5 minutes later. probably ends up playing the game for 4 hours straight without noticing until chenle yells at him to get off so the two of them could eat lunch together. (and dw, ofc he eats well after playing for so long he’s a growing boy <3)

#dreamwritersnet #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream blurb #nct dream drabble #nct dream headcanon #nct dream fluff #nct dream crack #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct blurb #nct drabble #nct headcanon #nct fluff #nct crack

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peepingtoad · 4 years

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OKAY SO.

It’s not that often that I talk about what I really think about Jiraiya, and I guess I mean more how I feel about him, since I always try to write my ‘deeper’ headcanons/metas from a more... idk, trying not to get too emotional about it point of view. Basically it’s because I know how controversial he is, and I pretty much ritually avoid a lot of takes because I don’t want to get irritated about something that really doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme, because we’re all entitled to our opinions and I largely get my say through the act of writing and developing him how I see fit.

Which is enough for me, mostly, but for the purpose of reinforcing/building upon how I see my muse’s plight, working through some of my Sannin-feels and also to dip my toes into why I find blindly judgemental/single-faceted takes of him, his priorities and the Sannin’s bond so exasperating, I kinda feel like rambling my thoughts (feelings) anyway!

Politely sticks this stream-of-consciousness mess under a cut.

So sometimes I do think about the fact that Jiraiya kinda, lmao, forgot about Everything Else in the world because of Orochimaru and his (frankly) obsession with him/them. And the fact that a ridiculously significant portion of bad shit that happened is down to his actions/inaction. And the fact that he really did go and leave the likes of Naruto (and maybe to a degree Kakashi, although there’s zero actual evidence he didn’t get involved given the strong indications of a great rapport in the canon), just because he was so hellbent on pursuing Orochimaru, who was not even shown to be affectionate towards him at the best of times. When I think about it in terms of Jiraiya being gone and the main reason we’re given for it, things suck for a number of people, and quite largely because of potentially unrequited/horribly communicated/obsessive JiraOro pursuits, in essence :’)

(And for all it’s still quite the rarepair, Jiraiya does express on accounts that he was destroyed when Oro left. I mean... this is the guy who rarely acknowledges his sadness so... It’s not my bias at all I sware)

Of course JiraTsu is very real in my eyes too, albeit a very different kinda tragic, as is OroTsu. And the messy poly ship? Ohohoho, even better, but... yeah. Tsunade does at least go her own way for a long time, as messed up as that is in itself, for reasons including the fact she seems to pointedly not heal or move on from her grief. And given the absolute debacle that was her and Jiraiya reuniting... and both her and Oro even discussing a possibility of sacrificing him... and just, them in general for that whole arc :’))) yeah. They are without a doubt messy and troubled, but even despite how fraught things become I genuinely think all the furtive expressions and the undercurrents of longing and the evasion of their past exhibits a history much deeper and full of lost love compared to many other team dynamics we get (otherwise the Three Way Divorce wouldn’t have been quite so horrible on them, would it? That and they’d probably have split up after Team Hiruzen was no more, if they really hated each other/just tolerated each other out of familiarity like I sometimes see speculated).

But yeah, back to our main man. Jiraiya’s intense (and frankly very Scorpio of him) love for our first series Big Bad kinda did ruin him and what he was setting out to do in some ways, to the degree that the actual story of Naruto wouldn’t be very much without him in terms of drama. I mean, he always loved a good story, right? So art imitates life, and innit just pathetic poetic.

And in so many ways it is incredibly tragic and pitiable that he’s Just Like That. Idealistic and warping everything terrible, no matter how bad, into adventure in his mind! As growth! As pain that makes you TOUGH and makes you a stronger man! As something to be pushed aside while you just keep on truckin’! Whatever anyone you love throws at you, it’s Totally Fine!

After so long narrating through his personal lens, I’ve come to realise he truly is so convinced that everything bad that happens, is sort of just... something he has to deal with and feel big and guilty and feelsy for while spinning it in ways that enable him to keep going. He just loads it on himself and sorta holds it. The fact he’s so sad and filled with sickly pining grief that he has to try and exorcise it with impulsive bouts of decadence? Fine. And it’s not abnormal at all, how he approaches things with such broad scope and just kinda... thoughtlessly wrecking-balls his way through everything he thinks is a great idea at the time. He experiences the fallout of these things and simultaneously feels the entire ravages of it acutely while compartmentalising it ever so neatly away. The crazy thing, too, is that he’s exceptionally convincing at making everything he does and how he handles things seem so grand and noble and romantic and tragic... but in a humorously self-deprecating and still ultimately very hopeful way, to the degree that I as a mun get caught up in his relentless optimism and forget he actually is a sad and heartbroken guy wrapped up in all this grandiosity.

Sometimes I do step back and look and I just think yeah, fuck, he really is a total disaster! He’s a walking disaster and he’s been so damaging to himself and others in so many ways, all because of acting on emotions and impulses without really thinking about the impact! He really did kinda give up on those who needed him and for what? A love that will never love him or prioritise him back?

A wonderfully tragic theme that I do love with him, don’t get me wrong.

But then at the same time, there’s always more nuance to be had than just ‘he is a disaster and made bad choices, as tragic and romantic as it is, he was actually just selfish and kinda sucked in the end, pathetically whipped by his friends and unable to let go of what they had’. There’s more nuance to be had than reducing him to a purely romantically-inclined character, who just snubs everyone else for a doomed love... because in the end, I think a huge part of JiraOro’s demise in particular was that Oro felt immensely snubbed by Jiraiya when he stayed in Ame, when his loyalty to Konoha (as a place and people, not necessarily a system) and of course loyalty to his own ideals was prioritised over Oro.

To an extent, I feel like Tsunade could have been a similar case, were she not preoccupied with already having lost so much, and besides I really do think she and Jiraiya were quite firmly in best friend zone at that point. With Tsunade not being able to get comfortable around Jiraiya or to pursue any underlying affection for him because of the dumbass way he always behaved (understandably of her tbh), probably until she got with Dan, by which point I reckon Jiraiya started to really come through by showing how he valued her for her, where we see by them having each other’s backs so closely in the second war. Not to mention him generally respecting that his feelings for her have no place by the time he gets her back to Konoha.

In terms of that first split in Ame, Jiraiya, I feel, simply didn’t think him leaving was going to be a big deal, because the three were always fiercely headstrong people who had their own shit going on (simultaneously independent while also being, perhaps not to their knowledge, So Very Codependent). Not only that, but his overly affectionate ways and incessant jolliness were probably considered such a joke that he was basically like ‘they’ll be fine without me’. I certainly don’t think he felt needed by them, which I don’t think is their fault or a point of angst and ‘waaah poor blameless Jiraiya’, because quite honestly, the strain on their relationship was something I fully believe even he didn’t realise he needed out of at the time. His one-track mind was just on ‘save kids, teach kids, this is right, must seize opportunity to be the change I was told I’d be, not continue with this godforsaken war’

Selfish? Maybe. Well-intentioned? Certainly. Intended to hurt anyone or imply he stopped caring? No.

In essence, when it comes to why in the end Jiraiya seemed to be so horrendously bad at being around at the worst of times, at being responsible, whatever else (and I’m not even going to go into scenes intended to be comedic because, they are comedic)... I’ve got to look at it from more than just one view. It’s easy to say ‘he’s ridiculous and terrible because he pretty much flaked on what was important based on his whims/a doomed love/his dick’ (which I have seen said lmao) but there are so many other things at play here.

So I’m thinking, while he was shirking duties (godfatherly mainly)... did he actually consider that his most important duty? Was it anyone’s place to tell him it was? Minato didn’t, as I recall, and when he sacrificed himself he specifically left it to the Third because he (presumably) respected what his teacher was about and knew he wasn’t for staying put. Did Jiraiya not consider his primary duty to be to the prophecy, and in a more general sense fixing the big wrongs and trying to foil big dangers to his home? Were these things not pretty much what he existed for (as much as his faith wavered and went off the rails at times)? Was that not the main source of any real purpose he ever had, being a kid who showed practically no ambition before? Did he not pretty much redesign himself as being ‘from Mt. Myōboku’ rather than Konoha after two devastating wars, and thus is it not understandable for him not to focus solely on Konoha—not outright destroying it, still ultimately loyal to his home and not about to let anyone destroy it, but seeing that the world is in fact so much bigger than just his little town? Is that really something that’s so bad and wrong of him, in a story where the main cast’s country has a pretty fucking nasty system and is established to do so very early on? Is he not pretty revolutionary in his own brand of not blindly serving, but not going on a destroy-it-all frenzy either?

Also, was he not the only one who actually bothered to investigate Akatsuki and the forces that would see Naruto dead, in time? For all he did help bring Akatsuki into existence in ways, it was inevitable from before he even met the orphans that they were going to be groomed/moulded into what they became, regardless of whether Jiraiya came onto the scene. Jiraiya leaving them was just a different kind of suffering to what they were inevitably going to suffer anyway, and hell, with his influence at least there was a time where they might’ve stood a chance of going totally against Madara/Obito’s path, especially while Yahiko was still around. Jiraiya didn’t know that the whole thing with the Ame orphans was, by a design out of his control, doomed to end horribly. So while he felt personally responsible not knowing this, and it’s taken as a given that he was... actually, was he, when there was a master manipulator at play? Was it wrong to want to give some kids a chance?

With regards to all those things I see people say he should have stayed and fixed, that he should have been there, he should have done x y z... Is it not the responsibility of everyone not satisfied with their lot to step up to the plate and make where they live better? Jiraiya wasn’t the only adult. Tsunade, and I absolutely love her, does seem overwhelmingly to be absolved of leaving Konoha because... ??? Kicker is that she too is related to Naruto, of course.

So... was she not also needed for the very material ways she could’ve helped at numerous points? Was she not also placing her grief and lost love before everything else? Are some reasons inherently more ok than others to ditch? As Kakashi’s generation grew up, was it not also then up to them to decide whether they’d change the status quo? Were Minato’s own generation, presumably his own peer group, not complicit in Naruto’s ostracisation? We got a slight taste of rebellion with Asuma, Hiruzen’s own son, but the fact is many Konoha-nin were overwhelmingly complacent with how things were. And yet never get demonised at all for it. Because it’s Jiraiya’s fault for... not staying and giving it all up to be a guardian who could well be depressed and unfit to raise a child... or just being a flaky as hell one that’s never there anyway because he has shit to do? (and in doing the former would let too many things go unchecked by a completely tuned-out Hokage, not gathering all that spicy useful intel, y’know... essentially he wouldn’t have ended up largely doing his job along with the personal shit in between).

Basically when I see claims saying that Jiraiya as an individual should have done pretty much everything better, and somehow been there for everyone that needed him at any given time, and that (mostly Naruto’s) suffering was a failing on Just His part because of his selfish whims... I feel like the point of his tragedy is absolutely missed. That tragedy being that barrelling through things alone is definitely a failing and harmful in numerous ways, as we see with Itachi shouldering everything alone too, and we see them both miss out on Naruto and Sasuke as a result... but at the same time, is just settling down and leaving everything else to chance not also a huge failing, when there are so many other circumstances and enemies acting against you, when you do have the power to change tides, and when so many other people refuse to or can’t seize their own agency? Jiraiya does put his faith in a lot of people too, and a lot of people fail. Don’t fail him, but in a general sense many, like Minato, fail to make the change they wanted to. That’s life in this world, it’s tragic, and after losing a lot of loved ones yeah, he retreats and goes at it alone.

But how can he win? How does he do what’s right, other than by chasing what he thinks he can do to actually help the world, which happens to be bigger and not centred on individuals, even those he cares about?

(and remember, nobody knows Naruto is special-reincarnation-prophecy-boi, which is why I tend not to blame-game any characters for him being treated like so many orphans were because... while it’s not morally right or nice at all, it’s tone deaf to how the world is, to the fact all characters having different degrees of knowledge and priorities, and it’s insensitive of the fact most the characters had their own struggles and were just doing their best with a bad lot gdi).

Hell though, Jiraiya even does put Oro, his big obsessive wild goose chase that whisks him away into selfish pining hopelessly devoted land, on the back burner at points. Maybe not in a lasting way, particularly by the last databook where he’s inspired anew by Naruto, but he does prioritise other shit on numerous occasions. And there’s a lot of shit to try and prioritise.

What I’m trying to say is, Jiraiya can’t solely be held responsible for people. Sure, he’s a character whose decisions were pivotal to events, but what of every other character in the story? Why are they not held to the same crazy high standard of doing and protecting and preventing and somehow doing everything ‘right’ that would have also meant him fitting neatly into the Konoha mould? Would other characters really have been that much better in the position of The Big Guide/Martyr/Tragic Hero/Force For Change character? And also is having a tragic Chaotic Good bastard of a hero not a sign of a damn good and interesting character, that at the very least tried where so many others didn’t? Would Naruto not have been a boring as hell story, whose main protag didn’t really have much conflict to make him compelling, without Jiraiya (among others) being a mess with the best intentions? Without so many other characters having failed him, for him to overcome it and still be able to love and inspire change (albeit through sometimes-clumsy talk-no-jutsu)? Was I missing the point of the story?

............. Hmm!

No longer sure where else I’m going with this now, so.... here, I guess, ends my ode to why character hate (especially that reduces them to One Thing) is dumb, why demonising truly well-meaning characters doesn’t feel particularly woke to me in a cast full of flawed characters and horrible circumstance, and why I’ll defend this poor bastard with far too damn much hinging on him to the end I guess :’)

TL;DR HE’S A DUMBASS AND HE TRIED, OKAY?!

#i feel like this is like... about as bold as i'll get with this subject #{ooc}#{memoirs(headcanons)}#not sure about it being a headcanon as such but it does include some of mine so.... for now it can be #{long post}#{meta&analysis}

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dramionediscussion · 3 years

Text

About Ron in the Dramione Fandom

*Note: This is LONG and I understand if people don’t want to read all of it. So I wrote the parts that I think are important in bold [though they might not make much sense by themselves lol]. Also these are all just my opinions.*

I have recently been reawakened to the fiery hate that non-shippers and a considerable number of Romione shippers have towards Dramione, Drarry, and other non-canon-ships. While I understand people not liking Dramione due to the characters’ history and finding it difficult to see Draco as anything more than the bully and Death Eater that he was, I think part of it stems from the fact that there are a lot of Dramione shippers who ignore how Dramione is improbable if we were to go from canon material alone. And how a lot tend to blindly hate on Romione and openly ignore how Ron is actually a good character with flaws just like anyone else.

I see why non-Romione shippers don’t buy Romione [not being heavily focused on as a romantic sideplot, Hermione being hurt by Ron various times, etc.], but I‘m surprised how far some people have blown their anti-Ron arguments out of proportion. It’s different with Ron-bashing fics, since it’s more of a plot device than anything, and it isn’t reflective of how every Dramione shipper feels about Ron since I, amongst many, actually like him. Can I please get some opinions about where Ron stands in the DHr fandom?

Also, don’t people realize that if every fanfic adhered to canon or aren’t allowed to stray from it too far, it would narrow down the fics that could be considered ‘valid’? In ‘Dark!Harry or Hermione‘ fics we obviously have Dark!Harry or Hermione, and in ‘Wrong Boy-Who-Lived’ fics, Weasley, Potter, or Dumbledore bashing is a common element, but it doesn’t mean that those OOC portrayals are how its creators and readers see the characters.

That line is just thinner or downright nonexistent when it comes to Ron in some fics — which makes me wonder, as a Dramione lover, just how many Dramione shippers actually believe in or see Ron’s goodness. Not every single writer who’s written Ron-bashing fics hate Ron, and not every person who’s read and enjoyed them think that’s who Ron truly is — it’s just a part of his role in the story after all.

So this got me thinking…

Should more anti-Ron Dramione shippers strive to learn Ron’s character in canon better? They’re not obligated to like him, but at least recognize his positive traits and acknowledge that he isn’t purely his mistakes. I just feel like doing so could quell a fair portion [certainly not all] of the flames between Dramione shippers and non-shippers who are willing to understand. [If you can’t tell, I’m a sucker for the impossible — like peace between different ships in a fandom. I’ve given up on it tbh, but I entertain the thought occasionally.]

Of course, it’s completely impossible for the haters to change their minds about Dramione, but I hope that those who will listen know that not every Dramione fan blindly hates Ron, and that we know where Hermione, Ron, and Draco stand in canon. And hey! Dramione fans [Drarry, Ronsy, Pansmione etc. fans too ofc] simply love to imagine a Post-War world where those raised in extremely bigoted households have mended their beliefs, are trying to make up for their mistakes, and are coexisting happily with people from the Light! I don’t know about them, but to me that sounds like a pretty amazing and wonderful place [that Hermione would like to be a part of, but some aren’t acknowledging that]!

*Lastly: I know this long ramble was Ron-centric, but people do also assume that Hermione is always treated like a prize or Draco’s key to redemption, but that’s a whole other untrue assumption that would require its own essay to debunk. I don’t know if I should or want to write one lol.*

___________________________

Thank you, Wondering Anon, for submitting the above post.

Lots of things to unpack in this ask! Some readers DO hate on Ron more because of fanon//what they’ve read in fanfiction than what’s in canon, but there are plenty of reasons to dislike Ron based on canon. But here’s the thing: how I feel about Ron has NOTHING to do with how I feel about Draco and vice-versa. I can point out the flaws in both of them and still think that Draco might be better for Hermione. Heck, based on Cursed Child alone, I think Draco would have been better for Hermione. But again, Ron and Draco aren’t connected. I don’t have to point out why Draco is better in order to think Romione was a terrible idea. I can think it was a poor match regardless of with whom I the fanfiction writer want to write her.

You asked “ Should more anti-Ron Dramione shippers strive to learn Ron’s character in canon better? They’re not obligated to like him, but at least recognize his positive traits and acknowledge that he isn’t purely his mistakes. “

I think a lot of us DO know who Ron is as a character, and we still don’t think he’s a good fit for Hermione. Anyone who has read the books with a discerning eye can appreciate the nuance and the layers. All of JK Rowling’s characters are grey. As Sirius said, “We’ve all got light and dark in us.” And that’s part of what makes writing them so much fun. BECAUSE the canon characters are so layered and written in so many shades of grey, you as a fanfiction writer can take them in a lot of different directions. I can come up with plausible reasons Draco might go dark and be evil. I can come up with plausible reasons for Hermione to do questionable things. I can come up with reasons why Ron might cheat on Hermione or make her feel bad about her career and her success because of his own insecurities - because the roots of it are there in canon.

It’s up to the writer to decide which characters they want to use and which canon characteristics they want to play up and expand upon in their story.

As someone else submitted, a Dramione story isn’t about Ron. It’s about Hermione and Draco and often about how they get together and fall in love. For post-war stories where the characters are adults, a writer may or may not want to re-hash everything that happened during the intervening years between the end of the war (when in canon it seemed like Romione would be a thing) and present day (discarding the epilogue), so they may choose to write in a Romione relationship that fell apart for a variety of reasons. They may slot him into the story as the ex who broke her heart because he was there in canon, and it offers readers a bridge from canon to the fanfiction story, but the story ultimately is not about him.

A Dramione story, especially a novel-length one, usually involves a lot of secondary or background characters, and how they are interpreted and used is entirely up to the author, even if it deviates from canon.

As an example: Lucius Malfoy. Now, I happen to like that pompous jerk, as I’m also a Lumione and a Lucissa shipper, but I know a lot of Dramione fans don’t care for him. In fact, the “evil Lucius” secondary character is part of MANY Dramione stories! The thing is, there’s NOTHING in canon to indicate that Lucius was EVER abusive to Draco. Regardless of his failings as a human being, Lucius Malfoy loved his child - even JKR acknowledges that the Malfoy family’s love for each other is their primary redeeming feature. Jason Isaacs himself decided to play up the role as a bully and bully Draco in the films. But he’s also the bad guy in a lot of Dramione stories. He’s written as abusive. I’ve seen him written as literally beating Draco or putting him under an imperius curse. I’ve seen him written as raping Hermione or doing whatever he can to keep Draco and Hermione apart.

Is that fair to his character? Not really, IMHO. However, I also acknowledge that in most stories, Dramione needs a foil. There needs to be someone trying to keep them apart or cause drama in their relationship.

In a lot of stories, that’s Ron. In some stories, it’s Astoria (as Draco’s canonical wife) or Pansy or Daphne or some other witch Draco’s been seeing. In some stories, it’s his parents or his father specifically who act as the foil. Lucius works because there’s a lot more bad than good shown about him in canon. Astoria works because she’s a total blank slate. Pansy was a ‘mean girl’ in canon, so she’s easy to turn into the antagonist. But again, the story isn’t usually about them - it’s about Dramione. As a writer, I can’t really fault anyone for not wanting to spend a lot of time and space delving deeply into the psyche of the character attempting to ruin my OTP.

If you as a reader happen to really love Ron but also ship Dramione, great! This fandom is huge, there’s room for everyone, and we are blessed with an abundance of stories. There are plenty of Dramione stories where Ron isn’t a character or where he’s written as more supportive of Draco and Hermione getting together.

- Elle

#dramione #hp fandom #submission

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spongebob-connoisseur · 4 years

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@sneakyarachnids !! I didn't forget about this! I know I should have done this sooner but I was busy but here it is!!!

I actually wrote this before but when I tried to post it, tumblr deleted my thing. Just tumblr things ya kno? Its funny, I was looking everywhere for the papers I wrote it on and I thought I lost it but when I was ready to give up is when I found them.

Anyways my original concept for the Stanley Squarepants episode was to deal with the gag that Stanley magically destroyed everything he touched which annoyed me as a kid. I actually really like this episode but it could have been better. One of those things is that gag since it wasn't very funny to begin with and it was dragged out through the episode but it would kind of mess up the plot of the episode because that's what started it.

The main idea of the episode is that Stanley was sent to live with spongebob because he has no skills, work, or anything and uncle sherm was frustrated by it. So through the episode spongebob tries to help Stanley find a skill but he mainly tried to force his own hobbies and skills on Stanley, as did everyone else. There was also the factor that everyone saw Stanley as a spongebob number 2 so they treated him as such like Mr. Krabs hiring him at the Krusty krab or plankton being enthusiastic to hire him too. At the end of the episode, they find that Stanley destroying things is a skill and is used to sabotage plankton who blindly hired him thinking he'll be like Spongebob. The Chum bucket gets destroyed because of this much to Mr. Krabs glee.

My og idea to fix this episode was to give Stanley a skill that he never got to fully express unless on his own. Like writing or whatever. And the gags are mainly the nonsense of spongebob and others trying to find Stanley's talents and failing in goofy ways. Not because of Stanley. Stanley might get distracted by other things or do his own thing that is successful. The gag is focused on how caught up people are to make him interested in partaking in their hobbies and their skills and for them it failing. The resolution of the episode would be Stanley being able to express that he appreciates what everyone did for him but the things they try to share and teach aren't him. He has his own thing that he's good at and finding success in his own hobbies and being able to move out.

I also had a little redesign of Stanley too, along with some spongey doodles.

These are ANCIENT drawings but- I can't draw spongebob as good as that anymore xD

Stanley's original design really stood out and looked awkward in the show. Tbh I like his OG design but the gag of the episode was that people thought Stanley was a Spongebob number two so he ought to look the part. My design had him be slightly taller than spongebob and his clothes would he like Spongebob's concept art design (if you seen it, his original outfit was green and blue) also the ridges (the little waves on spongebob) like Spongebob has a pattern.

To make this easier to understand, imagine a box. Excluding the corners. The number of ridges for the height is 4. For the length there are 4 on the top and 3 on the bottom. For the width, there is only 1. That's spongebob. You can pause the show whenever you like to count but he always has the exact same number of ridges.

Stanley is the same except his width would have 2 ridges like how spongebob had in the pilot episode.

Stanley has less of an overbite but more of a tooth gap and his dad is uncle Sherm. We've seen him in the show. He has brown eyes so Stanley should have brown eyes too.

Still I like his OG design. I think I'm biased because I would slap a lanky body type on a character and think its perfection. Also the hair and cuffed pants (I like his disaster homosexual look okie) its weird and out of place but I still like it so its not something in need of change.

I'm not a huge fan of my original idea to "fix" the episode because the biggest problem I have with the episode is Stanley's self worth. Everyone placed value on skills he did have and things he couldn't do. Mr. Krabs only hired him because he thought he could exploit him like Spongebob and by the end of the episode he managed to. Plankton hired him because he thought he could use him like a spongebob 2.

Everyone either saw him as a second spongey or trying to force teach him how to be like them but what about Stanley? The original episode only manage to use his destructiveness in a controlled way like a bomb. My original resolution isn't better because I feel like the resolution became "see? There is some way we can use him!"

Not everyone knows what they're good at right away. You're not magically skilled at some things. It takes time and practice. you won't be perfectly good at on your first try. Your skills and hobbies don't need to make millions of dollars in order to be worth something. Your interest doesn't automatically have to be useful to others to be worthy. It can be something only you are good at or enjoy doing and that's okay.

I feel like that would be a better message with the episode. There's also the fact that episode showed Stanley often messed up stuff because he was nervous with all the pressure of doing it "right" similar to how spongebob always failed his boating exam in the pre movie seasons because he was nervous despite passing the written portion perfectly.

Stanley does have some hobbies. We've seen photography and scrapbooking in the episode.

He was good at something (also the disaster homosexual moment here is gold). He just didn't realize since he was so caught up in the fear of failing and not being able to do what other people do. The entire episode he felt bad because he couldn't be like Spongebob or have a routine like him.

It's funny since he didn't need to be. He could create his own routine and do his own thing. The episode could be better with Stanley finding self confidence in himself. He isn't a spongebob 2 and he is good enough. Even if he doesn't have the skills everyone has. Idk how he'd come to this conclusion though. Probably the frustration building up of not being how everyone expecting him to be? And he finally snaps.

I can see the end of the episode him going off to do his own thing and to work on things that make him happy now with his new found confidence. He may not be perfect but he finds joy in what he does and that's good enough for him.

If he needed a job, he could find work relating to his passion. He's not magically perfect with some talent agent recognizing him and hiring him on the spot like a movie. Its slow steps but we can see change is there and he's a lot happier.

I know this is quite a lot but I hope I got my ideas across well. It was fun to write!

#I had to upload this on my computer since it kept deleting itself from the tumblr app #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #ask #the spongebob theorist #spongebob theorist #about the spongebob theorist #sneakyarachnids #Stanley S. Squarepants #stanley squarepants #@sneakyarachnids #Reply #Sneakyarachnids

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wittystiles · 5 years

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The Bluff || Part 16 || Mitch Rapp

Author: wittystiles

Word Count: 2k+

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Warnings: Cursing (last time i’ll use this one fuckin’ expect cursing tbh)

Authors Note: Well fuck me, it’s back. After taking sixteen months off and deciding this story was dead seven times, I’m Goddamn back. And so is this hot-steaming pile of dog shit known as The Bluff. I hope to Goddamn hell y’all like it. If you don’t - well - shove it. Feedback is THE MOST IMPORTANT okay, thank you! (-: I love y’all, thanks for chillin’ with me. Read this if you will. Thanks. ((also thank you to my lovely @ellie-bee242 for never giving up on this fic!))

Irene stared at Stan, face expressionless. If anything, she looked tired. She leaned back in her chair and brought her hands together underneath her chest, head resting against the plush leather backing. “She’s moving in with him?” She repeated in a questioning tone.

“Yes,” Stan said in a sigh. “What part of that was unclear? I said exactly what you just repeated, without the inflection you had, but same meaning nonetheless. She’s moving in with him. He’s going to live with her. They’re going to share a place. Their addresses will be the same. They’re cohabiting. I am running out of ways to rephrase this.”

Irene rolled her eyes, “when will their union take place?”

“I don’t know their moving schedule. And ‘union’, come on Irene, no one talks like that.”

Ignoring the latter part of his response, Irene continued. “Could you find out?”

“No.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at the older man and contemplated the various ways that she could attempt to kill him with the pen sitting on her desk. She knew most would be thwarted the moment she tried them, however, and decided against any actual action. “So, while you had some information, you’re actually nearly entirely useless to me?”

“I wouldn’t call myself useless, ever.”

She shrugged, “do you have any idea where the two of them will be staying?”

“Together,” Stan answered immediately. “That is what cohabiting means, after all.”

“You’re fired,” she blurted without thought. “I’ll figure out how to get this shit done without you. Mitch can have a new mentor, if that’s what you are at this point, Stan.” She stood from her desk then, grabbing a file off of it’s edge fast enough to knock over a cup of pens that was stationed near it. “You have given me enough headaches for a lifetime.”

Stan stared at her in confusion, eyes trained on her face. “What?” He asked, finally processing her little blow up. “Knock it off,” he finally decided, reaching out to snatch the folder from her hands. She made no efforts to stop him, her breathing becoming long and deep. He didn’t think she’d gotten as angry as she had, but was clearly wrong, as he watched her calm herself down. “What is this?”

He opened the folder, thumbing through the contents with little interest, eyes darting quickly over each page. “You’re sending him out?” Stan wondered, looking up from the pages in his hand to the woman who was now busying herself tidying up her pens. “You know he’s not going to go.”

“He knows he won’t have a choice.”

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing the folder. “Irene, give him some more time.”

“He’s had over a month.”

“Let me remind you,” he leaned forward, holding the folder loosely between his legs, elbows resting on his knees. “He thought he was on assignment that entire month. (Y/N) was supposed to be his mission. He invested all of that time on her because he thought that’s what this big dumb organization was having him do. He even went and got those arms dealers, and his ass kicked, while in France. Give the kid some time with his new girlfriend.”

The chuckle that left Irene’s throat startled Stan, made him sit up straight again in his chair. She slowly made her way around her desk, taking her seat in her chair without another sound. When she made eye contact with Stan he leaned back, cocking his head ever so slightly to the side in calculation of her. “She isn’t his girlfriend,” she finally said in a cool and even tone. “She is his handler. And when the time comes, I will remove her from his life. Is that understood? Don’t make this something that it isn’t Stanley. Don’t give some deeper meaning to the two of them. Mitch is a pain-in-my-ass agent who thinks he writes the rules, and (Y/N) is there to rein him in. Nothing more, nothing less.”

She held no emotion behind her words. She could have been filling him in on the weather for the week in the same tone she used to remind him that they were manipulating Mitch’s life like he was a puppet on their string. He swallowed hard, suppressing the guilt that was gnawing at him like heartburn. “Irene,” Stan tried, using a voice he’d take with his own children. “Don’t be so cold. The kid’s falling for her.”

“Which was the plan,” she nodded her head like she was proud of herself. Another hard swallow from Stan. “Didn’t you so sinisterly say that he was going to? We wanted this remember? We dealt this hand for him at the beginning of the game. Sure, we didn’t think he’d play into it so well, but hell, Stan. This whole charade couldn’t be going better for us if we wanted it to.” She smiled then, “lest you forget that everything that we’ve done, every little move we’ve orchestrated? They’ve all been your ideas. You know how to play Mitch like an instrument and he’s really performing beautifully for you. You should have some pride.”

“Yeah,” he nodded his agreement, unsure what else to say to the woman before him.

“Now stop with this nonsense, and go give him that file. Lets see how having (Y/N) around affects the way he handles another task. We saw that he was quick to finish the one in Paris to rush back to her. I wonder if the same will hold true now that they’re cohabitating.”

Stan stood from the chair, deciding not to share parting words with Irene. He checked the file a final time while walking out of the office, headed for the elevator.

Mitch turned the corner to his apartment building sharply, seeing the older brick building come into view as his phone began singing loudly in the cupholder at his side. He blindly reached for it, answering it without hesitation as he pulled into the residential parking garage that wound underneath. “Going underground, I’m going to lose you.” He told the person on the other end of the phone, hanging it up without giving its signal a chance to be lost. He shoved the device into his pocket and searched around for a moment for a parking spot, stealing the one nearest the elevator. The older man that usually parked there was out of town visiting someone or doing something for the month, and he’d be damned if he let another one of the tenants get that spot.

He killed the engine, pocketed his keys, and got out slamming the door behind him with a metal clang. The noise echoed off the walls of the garage and for a moment he remembered being in France and finding a car to steal. He wondered if the owner had ever recovered it. He’d been so kind as to leave it relatively undamaged at the mouth of a tunnel near the river. He figured if junkies or the homeless hadn’t absolutely dismantled it, the owner could probably still even use it. Baring they didn’t mind it missing at least the windshield, to Mitch’s fault.

He walked the few steps to the elevator and jabbed impatiently at the button, waiting for it to light up. “Broke yesterday,” he heard a voice from his side say and he reached around his back reflexively for his gun. “Stairs are working though.”

A brunette woman was approaching him, carrying two overfilled brown grocery bags in her arms. “Leasing office said they’d send someone down within the week to take a look at it. Wouldn’t hold my breath though.” The woman made to pass Mitch and he processed her as a non-threat.

“That so?” He wondered, motioning towards the bags in her arms. “Let me help you,” he offered. She eyed him for a quick second before handing a bag over, wrapping both of her arms around the one she still held. “Mitch,” he introduced, opening the door to the stairs with his foot. She gave him a smile as he let her head through the door first.

She started up, her footfalls heavy on each of the metal stairs. “I’m Fiona,” she called over her shoulder as he followed her. “Moved in about a year ago. Met damn near every neighbor in this place, ‘cept you I guess. You new?”

“Lived here four years.”

She chuckled, continuing up. “You’ve lived here four years and this is the first we’re seeing of each other? What, you a recluse or somethin’?”

“Or somethin’.”

He heard her chuckle over the sound of her repositioning her arms around the bag. “Not much of a talker?”

His shoulders shrugged before he’d even processed the action, slowing his speed on the stairs to keep a relatively normal distance between her and himself. He wished absently that he’d not offered to help her, he could already be in his apartment by now. He needed to shower in a desperate way, and needed to still head out to the store to get something for (Y/N) to eat.

He frowned a little at the thought of her, of how she was so eager to thank him for cleaning. How small she had looked to him every time he’d peaked in to check on her. He wondered if she’d look that small in his place, too. If she’d still have the same soft light around her that she had in France and in her own apartment. Wondered if perhaps he couldn’t do her immediate harm after all.

“Earth to Mitch,” Fiona called with a laugh. “Boy, you really must be somethin’ else, gettin’ lost like that. You okay?”

He nodded, “tired.”

“You work the graveyard or somethin’? That's why you’re just gettin’ home at what -” she thought for a second. “Must be just after nine in the morning.”

Mitch waited until they reached the landing at the top of the stairs to acknowledge her question with furrowed brows. “I was out, doesn’t matter. I’m tired now though.” He handed her her grocery bag, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Have a good morning, Fiona. It was nice meeting you.”

He pushed open the door to the lobby of the apartment building and made a hasty retreat as she called a “yeah, you too” from behind him. He took the stairs up to the top floor two and three at a time, striding quickly for his apartment door. He withdrew his keys as he rounded a corner, freezing dead in his tracks.

His eyes narrowed and his jaw set, fist clenching tightly around the keys. He closed the distance between himself and his apartment door, not further acknowledging the man leaning against the wall beside it. He let himself in and made to shut the door behind him, being thwarted by a boot wedged against the door jam.

“Now,” said the owner of the boot, pushing on the door until Mitch relented and opened it. “Is that any way to greet me?”

“This is my home, Stan.” Mitch sounded defeated. “You’re not supposed to just show up here. Remember? We’d agreed on that.”

Stan laughed mockingly, shutting and bolting Mitchs’ door behind himself once inside the apartment. “No. You told me not to show up here, and I chose to ignore that. There was no agreement ever reached.”

Mitch stopped himself from rolling his eyes as he crossed the living room to his couch where he sat down heavily, busying himself with unlacing his own boots. “Why are you here?”

“Came to give you this,” he dropped a folder down onto the counter in the kitchen, opening the fridge to look through its contents. “Jesus, it’s more barren in there than Irene.” Stan joked, shutting the fridge after. “You don’t even have a beer?”

“I don’t drink much,” Mitch supplied, tossing his shoes to the side. “As much as I don’t appreciate unannounced visits, I have to get showered. So. If you wouldn’t mind seeing yourself out, I’ll look at whatever that is when I get a chance.”

Stan shook his head, leaning back against the counter. “You’ll look at it now, Mitch.”

There was a moment where Mitch contemplated not even acknowledging Stan. His bathroom was feet away and he could easily make it there before Stan could stop him. His foot twitched a little, ready for him to move. He rose to his feet, his brain willing him to head for the bathroom, but his body made its way to the kitchen where he picked up the folder. “What is this?”

“Christ, can’t you read?”

Mitch glared down at the pages, figuring it better than glaring at Stan, and read over everything carefully. “Spain?”

“Yes.”

“In two days?”

“Yes, fuck. It says all of this shit in black and white right there, Mitch. Why do you keep fuckin’ asking me?”

“No thanks,” Mitch decided, tossing the folder to the counter.

Stan boomed a laugh, picked the folder up, and smacked Mitch with it on the side of the head. “You don’t have a fuckin’ choice in this, runt.”

Mitch’s jaw clenched, his eyes trained on the pages of the folder, his chest rising and falling with strain. He didn’t want to leave yet. Didn’t want a mission this soon. He had things to do, things to take care of. He had other pressing matters that needed tending to before anything for Stan and Irene. He closed the folder with the loud sound of pages slamming and tossed it to the counter. “I’ll be ready to ship out then.”

I’m not kidding. Feedback would be fuckin’ sick, thanks y’all. I love you. Hope you enjoyed this!

Tags: @ellie-bee242 , @cathobs , @redstringlovers , @lovefilledtragedy , @sumcp, @teamwolf2411, @confidentrose, @daddyxraeken, @iloveteenwolf24-blog, @kalista-rankins, @stilinski-stydia-obrien, @rumoured-whispers, @omgimafuckingmermaid, @cuillere, @dylan-void, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @fuckwhateverfuck, @maxytwombly, @itsamberh, @haveyoumetmeyet, @kal-pal, @infinitstydia, @thenovarose, @anamcg317, @terriblewife, @thelonesoul, @rebeccaannex3, @behind-my-hazeleyes27, @girlwiththerubyslippers, @x-mitch-rapp-x, @mainlymieczyslawstilinski, @veronicarapp, @kaylinfayezink, @a–1–1–3, @rxppmxtch, @lietomeat3am, @xxxxdelenaxxxx, @mentalc0re, @gendryia, @ashotofblues, @dancingalone21, @16wiishes, @a--1--1--3, @assholeofthanos, @gothcryptid-gf, @yuslut,

Message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist!!

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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maurianasravenholdt replied to your post:

So, okay. The posts about how psychodrama and...

I read all of this and was very interested. I have to sit with it for a while, because I have questions. If, for example, a non-con fic is written by a survivor, is it not also taking away personal agency to say that ‘there are too many of that kind of fic’ or ‘someone else might be titillated by your fic so it shouldn’t be published’? Some of it feels… eerily familiar to what survivors of rape and harassment face regularly. The censorship of their coping mechanisms.

See, but this is precisely why I always make a point to stress that my aim is fostering an environment that encourages personal accountability, rather than people ducking and hiding communally behind the shield of ‘well some survivors use it to cope’ - when we all know damn well from the sheer volume of noncon, pedophilia and incest SMUT specifically....that its not all being written by survivors. Not to mention there is a significant tonal difference between various fics, with many feeling more ‘permissive’ and even encouraging of the noncon scenarios vs those that have at least a bit more ambiguity to them and suggests that the author has at least mixed feelings about what they’re writing and more likely is working through some stuff than just seeking to write masturbation fodder for people into this stuff.

Like, its impossible to know how many fics like this are written by survivors as attempts at coping mechanisms vs how many are written by nonsurvivors just for sexual gratification.....just like its impossible to know which are written by which. Nor, do I think, should it even be attempted - that’s the gatekeeping I’m so often accused of wanting. The idea that survivors must flash their trauma credentials at the top of a fic as a disclaimer for being allowed to write it.

The point is not identifying works written by survivors vs non survivors, the point is merely hold a macro level awareness that REGARDLESS of which fics are written by which authors.....it remains inarguable that there is no stretch of the imagination in which EVERY ONE OF THESE FICS is written by survivors for self-healing reasons.

So the thing about the coping mechanisms argument above all else, in terms of why I hate it so much, is because by extension....given how often its held up as a defense against criticism of these works in general....there’s no way that everyone who trots out that argument is ACTUALLY one of the survivors writing these things for self-healing.

Which is a big reason why the sight of that argument always has me raising my hackles in the first place....because again - I don’t know who’s a survivor and who isn’t, I’m not TRYING to vet anyone or tell the difference...but I don’t NEED to in order to still be aware that over the years there’s been a shitload of people who have happily used survivors that happen to agree with them or hold opinions that enable their own ‘kinks’....as kinda a human shield against criticism. And that to me, is absolutely disgusting and reprehensible, and the willingness people have to engage in that kinda bullshit is a problem in and of itself, IMO.

But all of that ultimately circles back around to....personal accountability. I’ve never argued for any kind of fandom accountability, where only certain people, appropriately vetted and appointed or what the fuck ever, get to weigh in on certain conversations or write certain content. I’ve merely always been arguing....regardless of whom these things might or might not apply to...I at LEAST want the people who hear what I have to say on these matters and find I’ve mentioned new angles or perspectives they hadn’t considered before, that make them question the....unquestioning way they’ve parroted these arguments before or written these fics assuming its no big deal because general fandom sentiment assured them it wasn’t....like, if people just stopped running from even having these arguments or hearing these criticisms at all, and just started re-examining their own choices on these matters and whether or not they’re entirely comfortable with long-unquestioned decisions or arguments once they apply a little more scrutiny to them....honestly, that’s a good enough start for me.

Again, I don’t know who is a survivor who actually uses writing dark noncon fics as a coping mechanism, and who isn’t a survivor and just writes them because they’re their ‘guilty pleasure’ or whatever. But YOU know, as in you, any individuals reading me writing posts like this. And I don’t have to know who is whom, in order to just ask that people who DO know perfectly well what applies to them and what doesn’t, like....then THINK about these things.

I’m well aware it won’t do anything to address the people that categorically just don’t give a fuck because they actually ARE pedophiles and the like, and actually get off on all this stuff with full self-awareness as to what they’re doing and seeing appeal in it at its basest levels.....like, they’re not going to do a damn thing differently, sure. But the more people stop seeing ‘well survivors use it to cope’ as an acceptable shield to hide behind if it has nothing to do with them and their reasons for writing certain content....the more these other people have to scramble for other arguments entirely, to hide behind. Which is more and more likely to show them for what they are, and make them stick out as predators rather than community.

Censorship is useless and always will be, IMO. Because the problem isn’t that these works exist. The problem is that these works and the permissive atmosphere they’re regarded in blanket all of fandom in such a way that actual predators have abundant camouflage to move around in and act like they’re just part of the gang, like any other fan.

Censor these kind of works, shut off the faucet....doesn’t accomplish anything towards the true issue of there still being predators in all these fandom spaces....and now they simply have to be even more circumspect and subtle about grooming potential victims, etc.

But the more we build atmospheres of personal accountability in our fandom spheres, expecting people to look honestly at their own actions and impacts and make their choices based on actually asking their consciences what they’re okay with rather than just blindly repeating the things they’ve been told that save them from having to do that work...THAT actually has potential to address the real root issue. Because the more being expected to be aware of your impact and footprint among your own community becomes actually commonplace....the more the behavior of those who still refuse to prioritize anything over their own wants, 24/7, sticks out and makes people wary of that. While at the same time....the more people, minors especially, are encouraged to do their own critical thinking in regards to these matters before drawing their conclusions on what THEY feel most comfortable with.....the less vulnerable they become to the grooming tendencies of predators who RELY on this idea of just....accepting ‘this is the way fandom works though’ when presented with it by older, more established fans.

So ultimately, my beef with the coping mechanisms argument is that as long as fandom’s happy to spout it unanimously as their go-to defense against criticism on these matters, really it just goes to show its being used as a derailing tactic. Allowing the people who AREN’T survivors whom its true for, to just toss it up there without a second thought, and never have to engage honestly with the conversation we’re trying to have.

As to the validity and viability of these fics as coping mechanisms? Tbh, like....that’s not really something I’m all that interested in arguing. The concerns I outlined in that other post are still there and things I stand by, but like I also said in it, and said here....I have zero interest in arguing with someone who says “no, this helps me” and instead telling them no, you’re wrong, it doesn’t.

I do think its still reasonable to at least ask people keep in mind the arguments about why they perhaps do as much harm as good. I do think its appropriate to expect people to be a little less confident in putting forth “this is the way this works” to newcomers and minors in fandom who look to them as examples, hear all this validation of this specific coping mechanism and assume it must be a good thing, and if it doesn’t seem to work for them too, well they must be doing it wrong. And also, I think its important that people acknowledge that coping mechanisms are NOT innately good or healthy. They’re simply tools we come up with to deal with our traumas, and like any tools, they’re not inherently good or bad, right or wrong. I mean, you start going around getting into fights to distract from shit you have bottled up and aren’t dealing with, to just feel alive, as a way to punish yourself, etc....all of those reasonings for frequent physical fights can still viably fall under the umbrella of being ‘coping mechanisms’ for being physically abused at home yourself and with no possibility of fighting back against your abuser....but does that make them automatically healthy? And does that mean that you’re not still harming the people you pick fights with just to have an excuse to beat on someone? No and no.

And so on that note, I don’t think its unreasonable to expect even survivors to keep that in mind when making decisions as well, because our desire to heal and move past our trauma is not permission or an excuse to hurt other people in the process. And again - I have zero desire to track down any single individual, figure out whether or not they’re a survivor, and quiz them on their choices and motivations and decide whether I approve or not. I just want people to stop trying to act like we all live in a vacuum and our choices can somehow affect people positively, but never negatively. Simply because we don’t want to pair any kind of responsibility with the escapism we come to fandom for.

But we talk a lot about how online fandom was ‘made’ and who made it and a lot of other things that basically signal our awareness that fandom is an artificial construct. It didn’t just exist as it is, and we stumbled across it and what we found is what we got. We made it. Its homegrown.

And there’s a big problem, IMO, when we’ve ended up in a state where we go about literally building communities....while simultaneously trying to hold on to the idea that we’re each only here to take what we can from our communities and have no responsibility towards each other, to at least honestly be aware of our impact and influence on others around us...and to make an effort to not carelessly inflict or help perpetuate harm, while blithely saying oh that has nothing to do with us.

When we ask ourselves even the simple question of “are these fics actually helping me or do I just want to believe that, or are they a placebo maybe, or are they maybe simply desensitizing me, and either way, what effect are they having on my community at the same time? And if I can’t actually confidently say they’re helping me heal, they’re what I NEED, and other people are claiming concern and harm stemming from this overall trend I’m contributing to here....does it really hurt me to look around for other potential coping mechanisms that I might feel more confident in, or won’t carry such concerns?

The reason I object so much to being constantly accused of wanting censorship, is that’s the complete ass backwards takeaway of literally everything I’ve ever said on this subject.

After all, censorship is ultimately an external third party being responsible for deciding what is and isn’t published and proliferated, based on their reasoning.

What I’m arguing for, and always have been, is the EXACT LITERAL OPPOSITE:

Encouraging and ultimately expecting individuals to be responsible for what they do and don’t publish and proliferate, and actually APPLY their own reasoning to their choices there, rather than simply hitting “Publish” without a second thought and waiting for the kudos and comments to roll in while preparing to ignore all criticism, regardless of what it may be.

#rape cw

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