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translucent-sun · 5 months

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“Am I even allowed to be here?” Cody asked as they walked through the temple. The war room, other parts that were now used for military purposes, sure. But the depths of the temple, the Jedi´s home?

“You´re here on my invite,” Obi-Wan chuckled. “But even if I hadn´t, you´re always welcome in the temple. You all are.”

When they finally reached the door to Obi-Wan´s quarters and quick fingers flew over the datapad by the door, it opened with a quiet hiss. Cody waited until Obi-Wan had fully stepped into the room before carefully leaned forward, taking a look around what he could see of the room. He was waiting for Obi-Wan´s OK to step in, but instead was pulled inside by his arm. Now seeing the full extent of the quarters, his mouth almost fell open.

“This is nice,” he said. The room was bigger than any single person´s room he´d ever seen, with a big window spanning almost an entire wall. Which Obi-Wan now walked towards, shutting the blinds partly.

“Well, I suppose it is more room than I really need,” Obi-Wan said, something in his tone of voice almost apologetic. But it was probably true. There wasn´t much in the room. A simple table to work and to eat from. Two cushions in the middle of the room, likely for meditation or whatever Jedi did in their free time. A wardrobe. Cody couldn´t help but to wonder how many identical robes it housed, and the thought almost made him chuckle.

The other side of the room held a small counter, though the only thing on it was a kettle and a handful of mismatched mugs. A narrow bed was standing against the wall, surrounded by wooden boards that served as shelves, overfilled with… Stuff. Most of it seemed so random. He looked at it all for a moment, unable to decide what to really look at first, fascinated.

“What is all this?” Obi-Wan smiled, passing Cody to take a little wooden cube off one shelf.

“Little trinkets from places, planets I´ve visited. Some I didn´t visit. A lot of them used to belong to my Master.”

His small smile remained the same, but his eyes betrayed him. “This particular one was a gift from a little girl I met on a mission. Her name was Da’laa,” he said before placing the cube back in its place, already moving on to the next. Cody wanted to ask him about it, but he felt it wasn´t his place. He´d have to do that some other time, some day in the future when they´d gotten to know each other better.

This time, he motioned for Cody to put out his hand, and Obi-Wan placed the next object inside. Cody almost jerked back when he felt its warmth, but Obi-Wan held his hand in place, closing Cody´s fingers around it.

“What is this?” Cody asked, aware that he wasn´t able to hide his surprise. Obi-Wan chuckled, letting go of his hand, allowing him to take a look at it. A small rock was lying in his palm, seemingly burning from the inside, its bright orange glow cracking through the otherwise dark surface. Cody had never seen anything like it.

“It´s a bahryn meteorite. Well, a small piece of one,” he explained, looking at it in Cody´s hand, smiling. “It´s like a tiny sun, isn´t it? Keeping you warm, lighting up the darkness. Quite ironically, it´s an ice moon they are found on.”

“It´s beautiful,” Cody said. He inspected it for a moment longer before he handed it back to Obi-Wan and watched him as he carefully put it back in its place. “Even on a moon made of ice there has to be some warmth. Almost like a reward. You probably appreciate it a lot more after almost freezing to death.” From the corner of his eye he saw Obi-Wan watching him curiously.

“I didn´t know you were so poetic,” Obi-Wan said, something that could so easily sound mocking. But it was genuine. Embarrassed, Cody turned.

“You know all there is to know about me,” he countered. Obi-Wan hummed, passing him to put on the kettle.

“I doubt that,” he said, and something about his certainty made Cody want to argue. Before he could, though, Obi-Wan continued. “What´s your favorite color?” The question took him aback.

“What?” No one had ever asked him that, and yet he found that he didn´t have to think about the answer. Obi-Wan started to repeat the question, but Cody interrupted him. “Green.” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Why?” Cody hesitated. Obi-Wan poured two cups of tea, and even while setting them down, he never stopped looking at Cody for longer than a moment, expectantly. He gestured for him to sit.

“Thank you,” he took the cup Obi-Wan pushed towards him. He hesitated for a moment longer. “Growing up on Kamino…” he began, fumbling with the cup´s handle. “Well, you know what Kamino looks like. I´d never seen trees or grass or anything like that before we left to continue our training here. I´d heard descriptions, variations of what General Ti must have told some of my brothers when we were kids, and they modified it with each telling until it sounded mystical, with glowing leaves and shimmering meadows, whispering in the wind. So before I first saw any of that, I loved the idea of it.” Obi-Wan listened intently, a small smile on his lips.

“Did it look the way you expected it to?” he asked, and Cody huffed.

“Absolutely not. I was disappointed, to be honest. It was just green. But I think it was experiencing it for the first time that made me love the color anyway.” Obi-Wan smiled fondly.

“See? That´s two things I didn´t know about you.” Cody averted his gaze, trying to keep their eyes from meeting. He really hadn´t intended to discuss private matters like that with anyone, so why was it so easy with Obi-Wan? Something about his presence made him want to open up, tell him everything about his past, his thoughts and dreams. It sounded so good, so easy, that for a second, it outweighed the ridiculousness of it and he felt his heartrate rise, a strange feeling spreading through his stomach.

“So what is yours, then?” he asked, ignoring the feeling. Obi-Wan smiled, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I love the colors of the sunrise. Its changing hues and the promise of a new day…” Cody smiled as he watched Obi-Wan get caught up in the thought.

“I didn´t know you were so poetic,” Cody said through a grin.

“Are you teasing me, Commander?” Obi-Wan asked, his tone serious, and Cody felt heat rise in his cheeks.

“I wouldn´t dare to.” There was that feeling in his stomach again. In his chest now, too. Obi-Wan´s serious face fell and his smile returned, growing bigger the longer he looked at Cody. And Cody´s heart was racing, the sound in his ears muffling everything around him. If he wasn´t already sitting, he´d be sure that he was going to faint. It would be so easy now to give in to his feelings, to lean across the table and kiss Obi-Wan. To walk him backwards towards his bed until they stumble onto it, to— Cody wrapped his fingers tightly around the hot mug in his hands, trying to ground himself in reality. It didn´t help much, though. He tried to force the thought out of his mind. Could Obi-Wan sense what he was feeling? Did the Force work like that? Cody hoped not.

“So, Abrion Bridge,” he changed the topic, watching as the smile faded from Obi-Wan´s face.

The next hour or so was a painful one, talking about their failure. It was hard to think of it as anything but. They´d gotten what they went there for, but at a cost so high that it felt pointless. They concluded that there was nothing they could´ve done to change a second of it. Obi-Wan gathered the papers that were spread over the entire desk between them. He´d insisted on making notes and drawing alternative plans on paper, saying that it would help them get a better overview rather than their datapads. And Cody had been amazed at the simple fact that he had paper. Though it made sense for the temple, for the Jedi. It almost had something spiritual, compared to the cold, soulless feeling of the technology and its cold, blue light. Obi-Wan rolled them up now and placed them in the bin, sighing. He headed towards his bed, sitting on the edge and letting himself fall back. Cody had risen too, and was now looking at him, unsure of what to do. Without looking up, Obi-Wan patted the empty space beside him, and Cody hesitated. Could he do that? His feet decided he could before his mind had processed the thought, and he was sitting on the edge beside him.

“I want this all to be over,” Obi-Wan suddenly said. “This war, the endless battles, being told that another person you grew up with has been killed. This endless pain.” Cody wasn´t sure what to say. He turned to him, but Obi-Wan still wasn´t looking.

“I never knew anything else,” he tried, carefully. Finally, Obi-Wan took a deep breath, turning his head to face him.

“But how do you take it? Those men are your brothers. How do you deal with losing hundreds, thousands of them at a time?” His voice sounded so close to breaking, desperate for answers. Answers Cody couldn´t give him. None that would change a thing.

“Well, we were trained from early on, to—we were taught that we were expendable. Where ten of us are killed, they will send ten new ones. They´ll send hundred new ones, a thousand if necessary. I´m not sure if we´re not physically capable of processing it too deeply or for too long, or if we were just trained to pretend that we are fine with it. It is painful every time. But there´s nothing we can do. If we don´t believe we´re expendable ourselves, we might just go insane realizing what´s happening.” Cody huffed, and Obi-Wan stared at him, eyes wide. Cody shrugged. “This is the only purpose we have. We were made for war. They would probably prefer if we couldn´t think on our own at all.”

“You´re awfully aware of something you say you´re not supposed to be aware of.” Obi-Wan´s voice was quiet, sad. “Why is that?” Cody had never thought about why. It just was.

“I´m not sure,” he admitted. “I have just always felt it. Deep down I always knew what was happening.” Obi-Wan hummed, turning back to stare at the ceiling once again, seemingly unsure of what to say.

“I wish we could´ve met under different circumstances.” Cody smiled.

“Under different circumstances, we wouldn´t have met at all,” Cody reminded him and Obi-Wan sighed.

“I know. I just wish we could have a normal friendship, one that isn´t centered around death and destruction and loss.” Cody´s breath stocked for a moment. Obi-Wan considered him a friend. Of course he knew they´d gotten close, but Obi-Wan calling him a friend? Cody knew brotherhood, he´d experienced it thousands of times, but friendship? Was this what friendship felt like? The tingling in his chest when he looked at Obi-Wan lying there, his face contorted in frustration, told him that what he felt was more, even with no prior experience to compare it to.

“It doesn´t have to be,” he said, feeling brave. Obi-Wan glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “It can also be moments like this. Quiet. Where you ask me to tell you things I´ve never told anyone before, and you show me things from all the places you´ve visited. You tell me about your life before this war started.” Obi-Wan smiled.

“I would like that very much.”

“Me too.” Cody´s heart was beating fast. It would´ve been so easy to lean down and kiss Obi-Wan. To caress his cheek, thread his fingers through his hair, and to kiss him. To be pulled against him and held on tightly. Sighing, Obi-Wan sat up straight, pulling Cody out of his thoughts.

“I suppose that will have to wait, though,” he said, mild annoyance in his voice. “I have a meeting with the council this evening.”

“Anything important?” Cody chuckled at his exasperation, and Obi-Wan looked at him with something in his eyes that Cody couldn´t place, something that softened his entire face.

“Yes, quite so,” he sighed. “There have been talks about a mission, and this morning it has been assigned to Anakin and me. We haven´t gotten many details yet, I´m hoping that will change tonight. I´m not a big fan of this secrecy.” Cody smiled. He knew how much Obi-Wan liked to be prepared, they were so similar in that way. Being left without details for so long was excruciating.

“I should get going then,” Cody suggested. “Will you tell me about the plan and let me know before you leave?” Obi-Wan nodded.

“Of course I will,” he said. “I won´t go anywhere without telling you.” Obi-Wan sighed. “And you´re probably right, we don´t want your brothers to start worrying.” There was a twinkle in his eye as he said this, the slightest evidence of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and Cody felt himself getting nervous again.

“Alright.” Cody rose, almost frantically he realized. “I´ll see you then.” He could swear he felt Obi-Wan´s amused look at the back of his neck as he made for the door, desperate to hide the blush he knew Obi-Wan wouldn´t even see. The amusement was there in his voice when he spoke, too.

“I´ll see you, Commander.”

#codywan #commander cody #from the codywan thing im attempting to write #obi wan kenobi #star wars #my writing #first time in obi-wans chambers

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lazyveran · 1 month

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jesus christ every time i scroll down another post you have something fascinating to say abt the azula in ur brain. well?????? what happens to her post canon???!?!?

starrdio we HAVE to kiss. thank you for asking...

SO. my main vision of azula is that immediately post-war zuko has. absolutely no idea what to do with azula. he's just ascended the throne and he has half his country wanting him dead and he's only sixteen. azula was fire lord for a day, wanted to kill him, has tried to kill him, is probably still loyal to ozai (and god he is NOT telling her about the ozai bending-away situation rn. OR URSA.) so he places her in a highly secure prison until he's settled enough to figure out what to do with his war criminal baby sister

and the prison guards... well, they hate azula. to many of them, she's the closest thing they have to punishing ozai so they treat her accordingly (not like the child she is, but some sort of monster they pin all their anger and grief onto). they shave her head as a sign of her defeat, dishonouring her, they put her in a cell with no sunlight, and they regularly try to bait her. not that it ever works

azula goes nonverbal. for months. she's only in the jail for a few weeks before zuko is able to visit, sees her conditions, and promptly banishes the entire staff and takes her back to the palace. he puts her up her own wing of the palace, tries to care for her best he can, but azula is silent. she barely even looks at him, or anyone. it's like her spirit is just... gone. she shoves away all the familiar figures in her life - zuko, mai, ty lee, her servants, mirrors (for fear they're hallucinations. she no longer trusts her own reality and it's terrifying and she's so scared of her own mind. she refuses to bow to the false visions of living and dead, desperately trying to overcome this 'weakness')

for azula, her only words for nearly a year were her anguished screams and cries in the last agni kai. as she no longer feels worthy of her bending after her dishonour and defeat, she no longer uses her voice. her second greatest weapon, her wit and words and the way she weaved them, is gone. in it, azula remains

#if you please. the iroh and azula parallels of them both acting the same way while imprisoned #silent and brooding and taking abuse from guards #both of them with a sense of shame and betrayal #the greatest figures of war brought to nothing in defeat with endless time to think #also. the fingers thing is bc prison sensory deprivation equals. well azula's mind needs an outlet. so abuses her hands for stimulation #sorry azula. my babygirl. spinning her around in the torture chamber #the potential of this after azula goes verbal again is fun. im writing a fic abt it rn (secret info)#azula #zuko #atla #starrdio #ask

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