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siberat · 5 months

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“Well, this ice cream will melt if I just keep jaw flapping. *Picks up ice cream dish* How about we try this? It is my favorite flavor too, mint fluorite chip smothered in rich, rose-pink sauce. Of course, topped off with a heaping mountain of whipped cream. Garnished with a light and airy cookie rod to add a nice, pleasant crunch. *Licks lips* Now, if you don’t mind me, I must shovel some of this frozen treat into my mouth. *Hums in enjoyment*

Oh, this is very good! But I must take it slow, or I will get a processor freeze, right?

Oh, by the way, thank you for weighing in on the cups up versus cups down discussion! Several agreed with my thought that they should be top-side down. However, one anonymous user did make an important statement. It reads as follows: *clears throat* My team prefers to face the glasses up because “ it’s so the glasses don’t get dirty from touching the cabinet,” but I think it’s shuttlescrap, clearly you’re right, and they need to be faced down to not collect dust.”

Well, I sure don’t want to cause a rift between you and your team. *Bites a cookie rod, crumbs flying everywhere* Oh, do pardon my mess. But if I may offer a simple solution- just clean the cabinets, that way the top of the cups won't get dirty. *Winks*

Oh, and Alcorian pips in as well. *Optics widen* ‘The cups should absolutely be placed upside-down in the cabinet, and Rat/chet’s behavior frankly horrifies me /lh’ *Laughs* Oh my, sometimes I simply wonder what goes through that old mech’s processor, right? Ultimately, I let him put them away how he wishes and go behind him and fix it. I haven’t heard him complain about that yet. *Face goes deep in thought* However, I do receive some glares from time to time. Do you think he knows? *Shrugs*

Let’s move on to the next question. As well as the next dish. I sure polished off this ice cream! *Shows empty dish* Hmmm… what would be a good selection? Oh, how about some stuffed shells? * Picks up the bowl and shows the camera* Don’t these look scrumptious? Lithium-based noodles in the shape of a fun, large shell stuffed with three types of cheeses- one being ricotta cheese. *Face lights up in glee* Yes, that is my most fav type of cheese! But also, the sauce is vibrant and is seasoned with copper, zinc, and iron. *Grabs a shell and takes a large bite* Very good!

Wow, we have a lot of shy watchers, don’t we? It’s alright; this is a safe place. I promise I won’t bite! *Playfully winks* Another anon asks: “Is Rat/chet keeping things simple with Cyber/tronian dishes, or did he also gather up some organic/earth-based foods to add to the menu?” Well, while our digestive tracts are indeed powerful enough to digest ores, metals, and minerals, Earth-based foods can be consumed, but they do not provide much nutritional value. I have tried a few, mainly those Little Debbie snacks… *Sheepishly smiles* Those Swiss rolls look good. However, like most Earth-based foods… they can give one indigestion and…well…. Some terrible gas. *Covers mouth with a servo* Please excuse me for being so vulgar, but hey, you chose the topic! * Polishes off one stuffed shell and picks up another*

Regarding Rat/chet’s cooking… * Optics dart back and forth* Let’s just say it is improving. Being such a busy Doctor tending to his patients, he would opt for quick meals instead of tasty ones. Meaning, he would eat a lot of microwaved dishes. *Crinkles nose and sticks tongue out* Yuck! They were like chewing tires with how rubbery they were! However, he has improved, mainly due to my teaching him how to cook. *Bites lip* Well, when I don’t cook for him, that is. He can make simpler meals that still taste good. But if you ask me, I am the better chef!

Oh, look….* Shows empty bowl* All done! Those hit the spot! Now, it’s time for some creamy and sweet flan! This cute cylinder-esque dessert is small but satisfying! * Picks up the dish, cuts a sliver, and eats it.* The texture is silky smooth! It tastes like vanilla and caramel! This will make my tummy very happy, wouldn’t you say?

Alright, onto the next ask. SWSuperior asks: “So, how does it feel to betray the Decep/ticons?” *Gives deadpan stare.* Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I betrayed the Decep/ticons, but more, the Decep/ticons betrayed us. *Eats another forkful of flan* So, yes, I used to be a part of the other faction; this is true. And while I am all for the equal treatment of all Cyber/tronians, the ‘Con’s idea of peace and victory depended entirely on violence and tyranny. I once stood behind Mega/tron and served as his minion. I have done countless things I regret- and I will not go into further detail about them. At the time, the promise of equality seemed such a dream! *shrugs*

But in the end, that was an illusion. Sure, I wanted a change. I was sick of living on the streets, being treated like trash, and using drugs to escape reality. The Decep/ticons promised that change. They vowed to rise out of the darkness and become so much more. *Sighs deeply* Unfortunately, that cost the ultimate price. How many mech’s suffered and died because of this promise?

Too many. And while in the beginning, I stood with the ‘Cons, somewhere along the lines, what they stood for warped into something so vile and nasty. Suddenly, being equal wasn’t enough. Now, the end game was to dominate. *Shakes helm in disappointment* What we initially were fighting against was what we were becoming.

And I didn’t like that. Not one bit. *Eats the last bit of flan* I want everybody to be treated with the kindness and respect they deserve. Mechs shouldn’t have to fear ridicule for their beliefs or have to work the streets because of their alt mode. Everyone deserves to be happy. And free.

Guess what? *Grins and shows empty plate* Time to pick another dish! Oh, I just loved that sweet dessert! I think I need another. Which shall it be? *Optics scan the table* That cake sure looks yummy, right? But I think I’ll save that for later. Oh! *Optics widen* I know what I want! Lava cake! *Twiddles fingers in excitement*

Look at this beauty! *Shows camera* Rich, moist chocolate cake with even more iced ener-cream on top! And let’s not forget it’s lava cake…* Cuts a chunk out, allowing liquid goo to flow out* Inside is this luscious liquid that’s sweet and warm, contrasting the coldness of the ice cream nicely. *Takes a bite, optics closing as he hums* Oh, this is divine! But I’m sure you don’t want to hear about how my food tastes this entire livestream, so let's take another note, shall we? *Reads over datapad*

This next question reads: “Out of everything you’ve ever eaten, what is your absolute favorite?” Well, thank you, anon, for asking! This is a rather tough one, to be honest. There are several dishes that I go bonkers over! *Dreamy look washes over his face* I love the full course, hearty meals, such as roasted cyber-turkey with mashed chromium potatoes, stuffing made from talc and calcium, and some fresh crystal beans! Very filling! *Rubs belly*

Oh my, would you look at this? *Pats a rounded belly* Well, it looks like I have been enjoying this meal! Just look at how full my tummy is! With all the fun and excitement of this livestream, I simply haven’t noticed how much food I have been packing down, huh? *Wags a finger* I bet you all knew and were too polite to say anything. Am I right? *Gives belly a pat*

But my favorite meal has to be Toshikoshi Soba noodles. This is a special dish to be eaten on New Year's Eve to start the New Year off with a clean slate and bring you good luck. These noodles are made from wodginite and are very easy to cut. *Hints a smile* The cutting of the noodles symbolizes letting go of the previous year’s hardships, in case you wanted to know. The soup consists of cyber-fish broth, shandite sauce, and sweet rhodium wine. *Continues eating cake* Oh, and I usually put in some cyber-fish cakes and dried seaweed and garnish it off with some feldspar. *Gives a chef’s kiss* The spectacular dish always lightens my mood! *Scraps plate clean*

Wow, that was tasty! And my belly is feeling awfully huge right now! *Sets plate down* This plating is starting to get tight. I don’t know how much room I have left. And I have so many more dishes I wanted to try and share with you! *Belly grumbles* Oh my! Did you hear that? Sounds like my paunch is starting to talk to you all as well! Let’s hope it adds to our engaging conversation, right?

Let’s move on to the next question- and dish. Shall we?”

… ……

Still taking on more askes! So, if you have a question for Dr/ift, send it in! You can send multiples. Also, if you wanted to ask as another TF character- just state so! Let’s keep this mukbang going and see if our dear swordsmech can handle all that food infront of him!

( if your ask didn’t get answered, I am saving some for other rounds)

Also, you can send you ask in as another TF char if you want! Have fun with them! ( I need more questions hint hint… running low*

#chubformers #siberatart #chubby belly #mukbang #digital art #weight gain game #weightgain #wip #chubby bot

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anapologethicc · 2 years

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YEAHHH LET'S GO THIS WOULD BE AMAZING

@littlespoongf mehar baby u have no idea what u have unleashed upon my brain by replying back to me😌💖 i'm on a high right now because i just wrote one of the best academic essays of my life and submitted it in time! so here's a mini essay for you💕

whatever's under the cut i blame on my high and endless ability to yearn for things that idk i'll ever have ahahaha okiee love youu

now i'm imagining what the picnic would look like if we actually went on one...

would it be near a lake because then the breeze would be wonderful and would make your hair fly making you look angelic or in a park somewhere where we could pet the cute doggos that stopped by our picnic and wish we, too had pets

would it be summer where the sun would make your skin glow all red cheeked and make me wanna take a million pictures but also not look away because i wouldn't wanna miss the beauty of it all or would it be spring where i could pick flowers and tuck them behind your ear and try to brain them into your hair and would my hair be long enough for you to braid them into mine

would we bring an actual picnic basket or pack things in cute tote bags because who even owns an actual picnic basket

would we sit on one of those cliché checkered picnic mats or bring a bedsheet/or whatever we find at home because it's desi as fuck

would you be dressed in pastel colours like i imagine, maybe a soft pink, light lavender or even a mint green and would you be wearing one of those cottagecore flowly flowery dresses with delicate gold accessories sparkling under the sun

or would you be in a solid coloured top, maybe black maybe white maybe baby blue and would you pair it with a checkered skirt or maybe a flowy skirt or maybe even leather and would you be in knee high socks or knee high combats that you’ve rbed before

would i be in a very bright coloured harry styles-esque shirt and would i be confident enough to follow in her footsteps with the tits out approach and would i prioritize comfort and pick out leggings instead of skinny jeans to pair with my very worn out combat boots

or would i try to match you and do a solid coloured top, maybe white or lavender and would i pair them with my blue baggy jeans and bright coloured sneakers and would i end up wearing socks that don’t match my outfit at all (and would you lightly tease me for it)

would we co-ordinate our outfits in advance or wear whatever we wanted to surprise the other and somehow still look like we match

would we have actual food or would we treat ourselves to a selection of fruits and baked goodies instead

HEART-SHAPED STRAWBERRIES!!!! would we have plain as well as chocolate covered ones and would we try and feed each other and end up with melted chocolate fingers because of the heat in the air and would our tummies hurt from all the chocolate we consumed or just because of the laughter and butterflies

would we go all pink cheeked and giggly from all that pink champagne because we have bad tolerance levels or at least i do and would i become a clingy emotional obnoxious loud mess as i try and tell everyone in the vicinity that i’m having the time of my life with the prettiest girl sitting right next to me

would we have freshly baked croissants and cinnamon rolls and would i make my home-baked vanilla cupcakes that will be frosted horribly but covered in heart shaped rainbow sprinkles

to ease my guilt (cause desserts) would i bring a large selection of fresh fruits because i love them and hope that maybe you do too

would we have cherries and would i have the courage to bring up the can you tie a cherry stem knot with your tongue thing as a way to flirt with you

would i specially cut heart shaped watermelon pieces to stick to the theme and give myself another excuse to be cheesy and extra

would we have mandarins instead of oranges just because and would i peel them to share with you, every teeny tiny slice and would i slowly be losing teeny tiny pieces of my heart to you as time goes by

would we have grapes and blueberries and would we fail horribly at that throwing and catching the fruit in your mouth game but die of laughter because at how bad we actually are at both throwing and catching

after all that would we still try to convince ourselves that our tummies hurt from the laughter and not the swarm of butterflies raising hell inside

i thought long and hard about how we’d spent the rest of our afternoon

would we bring along books to read or would we listen to each others’ music

would we do one of those artsy challenge thing from tiktok or would we declare ourselves bad at art and instead write each other cute little notes to share

would we lie down and talk about our lives or would we lie down in silence as we trace each others’ features softly with our eyes and hesitant fingertips

i’m unsure about a lot of things but the one thing i’m sure of is how much you, mehar, my love, love your sleep

so it doesn’t matter what we do or don’t do, regardless of what i have planned the one thing that i will plan into our day, would be taking a nap under the sun <3

and after our day is over....

would we lay in bed at the end of the day and hide our faces in our pillows or would we become so inseparable that we’d be on call still trying to calm the storm that the butterflies have been causing in our tummies

i hope you’ve enjoyed this. or maybe i went overboard. but i’m in such a yearn-y mood today and i needed an outlet. i hope i haven’t overstepped and somewhere somehow you had as much fun on our little picnic as i did while writing this <3 also i’m so nervous to send this to you but i’m gonna do it anyway because i just have a feeling deep down that you might not hate it as much as i think you will... anyways i love you and i hope you feel as wonderful you are whatever the day or time it may be :)

#i'm shaking #but i hope you like it #becuz i'm really fucking terrfied #i'm really bad with words #but idk #today i was in my feels #also i wish i could've written it by hand for you cause i know you like hand-written stuff #but i'm so tired from typing all day ahahahaa #maybe some other day🥰#meharr<3 #ok bye ily💖

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nomadicadventures · 3 years

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Haikyuu Boys bake Macarons w their gn s/o

iwaizumi, oikawa, akaashi, kuroo,

Warnings: fluff, if anyone comes up w something i missed please lmk

A/N: I had a bake day and my biggest flex was 2.5/3 successful batches of macarons and then this idea was born 😎

Iwaizumi

We’re gonna say this isn’t the first time you’ve ever made these

You guys just wanted to do something fun together on a weekend you both had free and you were in the mood for a project

You make him get the kitchenaide out of the cabinet cuz its heavy af and he’s Muscle Man

He isn’t big on baking and prefers cooking for you but when you hit him with the 🥺 he agreed to help

Helps you measure everything out and puts all the ingredients away as you go

Calls you a dumbass when you dump the powdered sugar into the food processor too fast and it poofs in ur face

Offers to separate the eggs while you sift the dry ingredients

Wraps his arms around you from behind while you hyper focus on whipping the egg whites and adding the ingredients at the right time

You let him pick the color and he asks if you could do the Seijoh colors

Yes ofc babe ily 😌

Once all the batter is ready for piping you split it into 2 bags and see who can make theirs more uniform

You make him a special set shaped like a jersey but hide it for later

Cuddles you for the hour that they have to dry before baking

You kick him out of the kitchen for the decorating and filling process

Smiles really big when you hand him the little #4 jersey you decorated with white buttercream and icing

He takes a pic and sends it to Oikawa to flex his amazing s/o’s baking skills

He doesn’t want to eat it cuz its so cute and perfect (like you)

Lots of kisses earned for that one

Overall a success 1000/10 would bake w Iwa again 😌✨✨✨

Oikawa

Pronounces it with an obnoxious french accent every. single. time.

It’s macaROHN not macaROON

I h8 him but he’s right

He definitely has tried a lot of different of flavors (courtesy of the fanclub)

Chose vanilla for some reason idk

Helps collect the ingredients but other than that just watches you do your thing

Chooses the playlist and sings along with you

You ask him if he wants a specific color or shape and he jokingly says volleyballs

Gets excited when you say “that’s so cute! I can do that!!”

You let him help with the buttercream cuz it’s pretty hard to mess up

He swipes some on your nose to be cute

You return the favor and he makes the pikachu meme face

Stands behind you and holds his phone so you can see a picture of a volleyball

Purely coincidence that he’s in the pic too

He thinks its cute when your tongue sticks out while you focus on drawing the lines right with an edible marker

Makes sure you take pictures of them before he eats one

Posts on his insta abt it

“My beloved s/o made me volleyball macarons!! 🏐”

Loves them so much and asks if you could make them for his birthday or next team party

10/10 fun quality time

Akaashi

Ok this man is PREPARED

He makes sure you have all right ingredients and bowls and such

Checks the recipe and buys enough for a second batch in case the first goes wrong somehow

Probably watched a youtube video on making macarons the night before so he would know what to do and prints out a template for the cookie size

You offer to make them coffee and chocolate flavored cuz that’s his favorite and he melts a little

Breaks out the scale and helps you measure out everything in grams like a professional

Sifts the dry ingredients for you

Calms you down when you get overwhelmed and worried you did something wrong or missed a step

“Keiji, do you think these peaks are soft enough??” “Yeah that looks like it did in the video. We add the sugar now right?”

2 relatively anxious people in a kitchen

His piping skills are better than yours sorry bud

blame the pretty setter hands 🙌

Puts on a movie for the waiting period and preheats the oven for you when it’s time

Smiles at your expression when they come out perfect

Helps you fill them with the coffee buttercream

Arranges them on a nice plate for photos and takes pictures

Very bookstagram esque

He saves one for Bokuto

100/10 would want to bake w Akaashi again 🥰

Kuroo

Baking is basically edible chemistry so when u ask him to help he jumps at the chance

You ask him chemistry questions related to meringue and the macaronage process

“Hey Tetsu, why do egg whites turn into foam when whipped a lot?”

“Why do eggs foam better when lukewarm?”

“Why do macarons taste better the next day or so?”

If he doesn’t know the answer he’ll google it and get back to you

He reads the whole scientific explanation to you and if you get confused or he uses a word you don’t know he explains it

Very educational process

Cracks baking jokes

You choose to do lemon macarons cuz why not (lemon meringues r sooo good just saying)

He mostly reads the recipe to you a loud and hands you things

Has an apron w a bad pun on it 😒

Keeps distracting you during the mixing process with hugs and kisses

Pretends he told you the directions in the wrong order just to see you panic for a second

You smack him upside the head for that

Now he has powdered sugar in his hair

Challenges you to a piping contest

Forgets to apply pressure on the top of the piping bag and batter starts coming out and getting all over his hands

You won the contest obv

While the circles are drying you realize they look like yellow emojis and get an idea

You make one that looks like the 🤓 and give it to him

“A smart cookie for my smart cookie”

He smiles so big from the pun and how happy you are with the result of your hard work

Literally so soft for you

Puts some aside for his friends so he can share his s/o’s talent

9/10 only cuz he made a mess and kept trying to mess you up

Still love him tho

A/N: This is my first ever fic/headcanon piece and I have some for a part 2 and 3 if anyone wants that! Also each of you is amazing and should go drink water 😌✨

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ofcowardiceandkings · 3 years

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I hadn't really thought about what the foods tasted like but now I want to know what you think? ☕

ive had this sat in my inbox for a few days im sorry !!

okay i'll preface this with uh .. i think about these things way too much because 1) The Rabies of course, 2) you gotta think about something while youre running around Hyrule for hundreds of hours, 3) i like science and know a lot of trivia fairly readily instead of like ... useful stuff... and 4) i like food and cooking and foraged foods looool what can ya do

anyway

hyrule herb: wild garlic hands down no doubt to me, it tastes good in basically everything and is bloody everywhere lol

okay SAFFLINA then i'll preface with the first i saw was cool and it also looks like flowering mint (or a mentha species) so:

cool safflina: spearmint (hot take fresh spear > pepper)

warm safflina: oregano

electric safflina: lemon thyme

mighty thistle: celery-like, maybe more bitter soo like fenugreek ?? thistles really are edible though and they can taste like mild celery

blue nightshade: honestly basil came to mind and basically yeah ?? i would think the flowers would taste sweeter though

silent princess: something about the immediate orchid-esque feeling of these made me think of vanilla and i'm sticking to it ... also i like vanilla so bite me :V

spicy pepper: sweet piquanté springs to mind even though theyre not especially hot ?? maybe a little spicier than that but something you could absolutely just snack on

voltfruit: i was kinda torn here because they clearly look like dragon fruit but theyre cacti fruits like prickly pears .. id say like those golden kiwis though because i reckon that splits the difference

hylian shroom: yer average button [shrug]

stamella: portobello ?? nothing special but more robust than a hylian shroom

endura: very nutty, like a chestnut mushroom on steroids

the element shrooms generally make me think of something very woodsy for whatever reason, perhaps because my first encounter was actually with the chill ones, so with that in mind ..

chill, juicy and almost piney

sun, somewhat smoky like a black trumpet ?

zap, a little astringent and earthy

rushroom: i get a hen of the woods vibe off of these at first but honestly i can see them being a bit sweeter than that

razorshroom: something like a hedgehog mushroom maybe so ?? nutty, a lil meaty and crunchy

ironshroom: dense, big umami and earthy

silent shroom: i can see these being pretty similar to a chanterelle with an apricot-like smell to them and a very light flavour

for the record id 100% say that Hyrule's truffles would be way more mild than real world ones because they're not madly overpowering but it can be a lot 🤷‍♂️

chickaloo nut: HUM makes me think of like a mild creamy hazelnut

throwing in that id imagine goron spice wouldnt be horrifically hot or anything like an average garam masala but id imagine it'd have a somewhat metallic edge to it

for the sake of being thoroughly over the top too, ive always liked the idea of fortified pumpkins being like red kuri, and swift carrots as the sweeter commercial varieties while enduras are like more earthy heritage types (which i love, also carrot greens are so good). id think that radishes start out more peppery like an english radish and get more like a daikon the larger they get ?? also wildberry like a sharp slightly more earthy raspberry so its a little like a bog-standard bramble, and i immediately spring to cox when i think of apples because they are superior. its also worth noting that that honey will be potent stuff since truly wild honey in the real world is pretty rare now but its flavour is still super dependant on what nectar is available

for things id add as well, id like to see the return of a cheese product like in Twilight Princess ?? imagine the possibilities ... and mangoes or a citrus because im a gremlin for a mango or lemons/limes any day , itd be interesting to see plums added though since plum trees do exist in the world anyway !!

#very sorry this is long but i have a great many entirely useless opinions :)#rory's ramblings #asks #anon #zelda blogging #botw/totk blogging

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my-happy-little-bean · 4 years

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Do The Cooking By The Book

pairings: LAMP/CALM words: 6013 warnings: swearing, alcohol, implied panic attacks, small burn mention, general angst summary: patton bakes when he’s sad and nowadays, no amount of chewy chocolate chip cookies would be able to cover that up.

or: the five times patton bakes something for the others and the one time he can’t.

a/n- hello! welcome to part 2 of that series i mentioned before called ‘let’s indulge bean in their slightly low quality, very personal fics’ (maybe i should actually make this an actual series on ao3 lol) :’)

i have been having a bit of writer’s block between this patton/janus one shot and golden slumbers (there's just o n e more scene i need to figure out, trust me it's haunting my every move), so i decided to write a bit of a fresh warm up instead! and by warm up, i mean i started writing it in the beginning of july and it somehow spiralled into a big thing, like they always do :’)

inspired by my declining mental health and my unhealthy obsession with baking focaccia at 2 am :)

p.s – later there's a [1] that's supposed to be a footnote but the formatting just said no so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

read on ao3 ~

enjoy!

-----------------------------

~ patton’s chewy chocolate chip cookies ~

ingredients:

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

0 teaspoon club soda

2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, softened (or melted, like my heart around my honeybees <3)

1 3/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (must be working out ;) )

1/4 cup granulated sugar sugar, honey honey (except no honey :P)

2 large eggs, room temp.

2 teaspoons vanilla extract (and not any extra-ct ;) )

2 cups Virgil-esque chocolate chips*

*semi-sweet! ^v^

––

“Holy shit, Pat.”

Patton smiled, all toothy and wide. He was still standing beside the couch Roman was lounging on, holding up the tray with his pastel blue oven mitts.

“You like it?” he beamed. Roman nodded, scrambling over the armrest to grab another.

“Umfh, yeah,” Roman replied, crumbs spilling out of his mouth. “Ovfiously.”

“...What?”

Roman quickly swallowed and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Patton laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “No worries! I think it’s a- dough -able.”

“...If you weren’t holding cookies right now, I'd say that you suck. But you're holding cookies, so..."

There was a pause that Patton quickly filled with laughter, even if it suddenly felt like he was struggling to carry the sound out of his chest and into the air.

Luckily, Logan walked into the room before Patton could say anything that was affected by the spontaneous pang in his chest. His eyes lit up upon seeing him.

“Logan!” He cheerily dashed over to the other side of the room, holding up the tray to Logan’s face. “A treat for my smart cookie?”

Logan reeled back slightly to avoid getting hit by the edge of the tray. He pushed up his glasses.

“Ah, thank you, dear. But I do believe it is too early for copious amount of sugar consumption–”

“Just try one, cookie-tita,” Roman cut him off, “you and I know that you want one.”

Logan frowned at him over Patton’s shoulder, then looked back at Patton. He gave Logan the widest smile he could muster, which made him sigh.

“While Roman’s reference was a bit of a stretch–” He eyed the cookies one more time, then looked back at Patton– ”I suppose I will agree to half a cookie.”

“Goody!” Patton said brightly. “Or should I say, gooey?”

“You shouldn’t.”

Logan picked one cookie up and took a small bite. His eyes softened, which made Patton’s heart melt.

“...Oh sweet Einstein,” he muttered, grabbing one more cookie off the tray before making a beeline to the coffee machine in the kitchen. Patton just smiled to himself, admittedly a bit proud.

Before he turned around to go see if Logan needed help, he heard shuffling coming up beside him. He looked over and smiled.

“Virge! You’re awake!” Virgil pulled one side of his headphones up as Patton presented him the tray. “Cookie?”

“Uh, sure.” He took one and nodded when he had a few bites, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

“No problemo!” he chirped, wandering back to the living room. Virgil trailed behind him, now slipping his headphones around his neck.

“Did you bake these this morning?” Virgil asked as Patton set the tray on the coffee table in front of Roman, who readily lunged at it. Patton turned and smiled brightly at him.

“Yeah! I mean...it was technically morning, heh.”

Virgil blinked in that knowing way Patton was all too familiar with. Patton mentally cursed.

“What do you mean by technically–”

Before he could say anything else, Patton clapped his hands together.

“Well, I’m glad you all liked the cookies.” He tried not to think about how loud his own voice suddenly was. “Feel free to finish them!”

Roman frowned, mid-bite of his third cookie.

“Don’t you want any, sweetheart?"

“No no! I chip-ed in so much effort in baking them that I tired myself out, heh!” He faked a yawn. “I’ll just go to my room!”

Roman just laughed, stuffing another cookie in his mouth with a shrug. Logan wandered back from the kitchen, conjuring a book as he walked and nodding at Patton. He grabbed another cookie and sat on the couch beside Roman, leaning against his shoulder.

Virgil just looked at him as he left, eyes narrowed and steely.

They’re so perfect, Patton thought as he sunk out to go to his room, leaving the three of his boyfriends alone with a wave. Perfect just the way they are.

Without me.

-----------------------------

~ ‘i got ya’ focaccia ~

ingredients:

for the garlic-infused mixture

1/2 cup extra-virgin, PG-rated olive oil

2-3 minced garlic cloves

0 garlic gloves (haha i’m hilarious)

1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon dried

1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary or 1 teaspoon dried

1/4 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

for the bread

1 cup warm water

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (1 packet)

1/4 teaspoon honey honey, you are my candy girl–

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt (maybe it’s wearing some nice clothes!) (sea what i did there? i’m funny, aren’t i?)

––

Virgil heard a soft ‘ shit ’ coming from the kitchen.

Don’t panic, it’s probably all fine, he thought, slowly walking towards the entrance to the kitchen. It’s totally not some burglar, ready to steal all our spices and blow them into my eye, making me blind. It can’t be, we’re not even real so how could there be a burglar–

As he neared the dimmed light coming from the kitchen, however, a quiet sob broke through his thoughts.

A chill ran through him. The sob was muffled, squeaky, and admittedly a bit pathetic in terms of how there was an attempt to cover it up. Almost like the sound a puppy would make when someone accidentally stepped on their paw.

All too familiar.

“Patton?” he murmured, turning on another light in the kitchen.

Patton was hunched over the counter space beside the oven, next to a saucepan on a burner; which was emitting a strong garlic and herb smell.

That wasn’t what Virgil was focusing on, though; but rather the way Patton held his hand close to his chest.

Patton spun around on his heel when his name left Virgil’s tongue, his eyes wide and glazed over, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Sh– Virgil! Hi!” He laughed nervously. “What are you doing here? It’s like, 2 am!”

Virgil dug his hands in his sweater pockets. “I’m always up at 2 am. What are you doing here?”

He watched as Patton’s smile forcefully tugged at the corners of his lips.

“I’m baking focaccia! Wanna join?”

There was a slight crack in his cheeriness. Virgil took a step closer.

“What happened to your hand?”

Patton looked down at it, then held up his index finger, which was slightly red.

“Just accidentally brushed up against the pan!” he chuckled. “It was still hot. ”

“How could you brush up against the pan,” Virgil deadpanned, hopping onto the kitchen island. “Roman’s asleep.”

Patton blushed as he ran his finger under cold water.

“Grab the flour and pour a cup of it in that bowl,” he said, shaking his hand dry and going back to the stove. “I think that the yeast and honey had enough time in the water. I’m just about done with the garlic stuff.”

“Okay, honey,” Virgil hummed, already scooping the flour in the measuring cup.

Patton turned to face him over his shoulder with a smile.

“Gosh, you get funnier at 2 am, kiddo.”

Virgil shrugged. “It’s easy to cater to your humour, babe. Though no one does it as good as you do.”

Patton’s blush intensified, and it made Virgil feel a little more at ease that he could still make him flustered like that.

“So really, Pat,” Virgil asked, stirring in the flour as Patton went over with a smaller cup of the garlic-infused mixture. “Why are you up so late baking focaccia of all things?”

A pause. Patton finished pouring in his cup before turning his back away, his head low.

“No reason!” he said brightly, though Virgil suddenly felt edges of darkness to each word. “I thought it’d be nice. Plus Roman loves my focaccia. Thought I could surprise him!”

A pause. Virgil wanted to press him more, but there was something about Patton’s cracked smile that advised him against it. He knew a warning when he saw one.

“He likes anything you bake him, babe,” he said instead, adding salt and the rest of the flour before beginning to knead the dough in the bowl. “You could bake him a frog and he’d be grateful.”

“Now Virge, I think you’re mixing the twins up again,” Patton giggled. Virgil smirked, even if he felt like he shouldn’t. There was such heavy air in the kitchen; a positive emotion wouldn’t last a second.

“You sure you’re okay, Patton?”

When Patton finally faced him, it felt like the air was sucked out of him. Now that he was standing under the light, he felt like he saw all of him more clearly. There were dried tear tracks running down his cheeks. Did he always have those? And under his eyes were bags of purple, dark and stormy; clear evidence that maybe Patton had been late-night baking before.

However, that broken smile was what haunted Virgil the most.

“I’m just peachy, Virge!” he chirped, conjuring up a towel and covering the bowl of dough Virgil probably over-kneaded. Patton’s eyes seemed to drill right into his own. “ Positive.”

Virgil numbly nodded as Patton clapped his hands.

“Well! Now we wait!” He smiled again at Virgil. “Want some coffee?”

-----------------------------

~ mushy gushy marshmallows ~

ingredients:

marshmallow base

2 cups of sugar

1/4 cup corn syrup

1 cup water (1/2 for for dissolving gelatin)

7 tsp / 3 packets of gelatin

1/4 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract

dusting powder

1 cup confectioner’s sugar

1/2 cup cornstarch

*note to future patton: don’t make these, actually. they suck.

––

“Fuck!”

Logan heard the curse from the kitchen, lifting his head from his book and immediately smelling for any smoke.

“Patton?”

There was no smoke. Instead, just another string of curses. Logan sighed; it was not like the moral side to swear. But reprimanding him didn’t sound like a wise idea.

Instead, he set his book down on the coffee table in front of him and wandered to the kitchen.

“Is everything oka–”

He stopped mid-sentence and looked at the sight in front of him.

Surrounding him was a sugary mess, with many bowls of gelatin and water littering the entire counter. Logan could only assume they were failed attempts at whatever was being made today.

In the middle of this mess was Patton, holding the hand mixer up in the air with tears streaming down his face.

“...Let’s put the hand mixer down, shall we?”

Logan moved forward before Patton could even respond, slowly lowering his hand that held the mixer. Patton just sobbed, dropping it on the floor in defeat. Logan tried not to panic at the suddenly broken hand mixer. Logically, they could summon a new one. It was extra energy, sure, but it was fixable.

However, he wasn’t quite sure he could fix the sight in front of him.

“Is there something wrong, starlight?” he murmured, ushering Patton toward the kitchen table. Patton just sighed.

“It’s the stupid marshmallows.” Patton threw his apron onto the floor as he sat down. “I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong. I tried everything. And they– they just suck.”

Logan blinked, almost dumbfounded. In all the years he spent together with Patton, he had never seen him so distraught. Not even his arguably-worse decisions elicited a response similar to the frustration he was currently witnessing. Patton always wore a smile and carried on. Any mistake was just a mistake; nothing more to it.

So what was different here?

“I even tried summoning a candy thermometer,” Patton continued. Logan tried his best to be present, even if his worry was slowly overtaking all of his senses. “Those things are stupid! I thought–”

“Hey,” Logan finally said, cutting Patton off by holding his hands into his. “Let’s slow down for a minute, okay?”

When Patton looked up at him, his heart broke.

Patton’s eyes were glassy with tears, some kind of foreign look not too far behind his irises. The absence of his smile was even more unsettling.

He looked completely different; as if someone took one of the loves of his life and replaced him without even leaving a trace.

Suddenly, he was filled with what he only assumed was longing.

“Patton,” he said slowly, looking down at their intertwined hands, “please don’t worry about the marshmallows. They’re just marshmallows. Clearly there is something else that is–”

He cut himself off as he heard Patton’s breath hitch. When he looked up, there was a faraway look in his eyes.

And that was when it clicked. That foreign look…

It was fear. Fear and guilt, all wrapped up in one.

The face of someone who just got caught.

Patton quickly pulled his hands away from Logan’s, stumbling onto his feet and muttering something about cleaning up later under his breath as he sunk out.

Logan blinked, taken completely aback. He quickly re-evaluated every word he said that could have led to him leaving.

“They’re just marshmallows.”

Logan winced. Shit. Perhaps Patton was still in his ‘in his feelings phase; not his ‘in need of rational solution’ phase. He should have known better and now, Patton was further away from him than he was before.

Logan then thought about the guilt that struck Patton’s face before he could confront him; the fear in his eyes when Logan dared to dig a little deeper.

Patton wasn’t far away, actually.

Patton was just gone; and Logan didn’t know where to look to find him.

-----------------------------

~drunken bitter butter rumcakes~

ingrdents:

for the cupcakes:

1 cup of choped picans

1/2 cup coconut flake

yellow cake mix, lots of it probs

some vanilla puddin apparently? i dont know why

eggs i dont care how much fuck it

1/2 milk

vegetable oil (optional cuz it sounds gros)

rum

for the bitter rum glaze:

some butter and sugar

more rum

rum

for the frosting

confictione confecion confectioniser’s powdered sugar

soft buttter

vanilla extract

rest of the bottl eof rum probably

––

It only took a crash from the kitchen for Roman to realize that Logan and Virgil were right: something was wrong with Patton.

Virgil had been the first one to express his concern, and it was right on the day Patton baked them all cookies. Patton had since baked many more cookies; which for some reason, only intensified his worry. Roman didn’t think much of it at first. Virgil, bless his soul, always held a bit of his paranoia close to his chest. Plus, Patton’s cookies were the best! There wasn’t much to complain about. A few days later, Virgil mentioned something weird about Patton’s focaccia; but even that admittedly didn’t raise any concern from Roman.

It was when Logan mentioned the marshmallow incident that Roman knew something might be off.

The two had warned him that going to the kitchen late at night could possibly bring some less than ideal sights, but that only drew Roman closer; like a beautiful moth attracted to light. If Patton was truly upset, Roman had to be there! He knew that the others didn’t know much about navigating the small crises Patton would have every now and then, but Roman did! It was Patton, after all! Roman had experience — and he just had to play it by the book.

But when he finally walked into the kitchen upon hearing the source of the crash, he was greeted with something he never quite saw before.

Patton was on the ground, holding a long, glass bottle by its neck and a bowl—with all its contents—was splattered on the floor beside him.

Roman stood there, almost dumbfounded. Patton didn’t even realize he was there before he looked up and blinked a few times.

Then, Patton started to cry.

“Oh, sunshine,” Roman murmured, sitting next to him on the floor. The strong stench of alcohol filled the air beside Patton, and Roman saw a glimpse of a rum label on the bottle. It was half empty.

“M’sorry,” Patton mumbled under his breath, immediately resting his head on Roman. “Didn’t–” He hiccuped– ”Didn’t mean to make noise.”

“Shh, mi amor, it’s okay.” Roman stroked his hair slowly, going through the familiar motions of comforting his boyfriend. “I understand. Let me help you, okay?”

Another sob wracked through Patton’s body.

“I– I don’t deserve your help.” The words came out in a slur. Roman had a slight feeling that Patton didn’t use all the rum in his bottle for baking.

“Nonsense! Of course you deserve help,” Roman whispered, twirling a strand of his hair. “I’m here to help you. I always am.”

Patton leaned into the touch, though the weight of his head seemed heavier than usual; like he was unintentionally pressing himself onto Roman, limp against his shoulders.

“S’fine,” he said after a few more teary hiccups, trying to push himself onto his feet. “Gotta– gotta finish cupcakes. Tryna new recipe.”

Roman frowned. “The cupcakes can wait until tomorrow, Patton; I’m going to bring you to bed and clean up–”

“No!”

Roman jumped at the sheer volume of Patton’s voice, suddenly nervous that he’d wake the rest of them up.

I can handle this myself, he thought. I always have been able to, this isn’t different.

“No, I don’t– I don’t need your help.” Patton stumbled up to his feet, leaning his arms on the kitchen counter like it was a life raft. He buried his head in his hands. “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anyone’s help, I just need– I just need to finish this, then–”

“Darling, I don’t think–”

“No thinkin!” He pushed his index finger onto Roman’s lips. “No thinking, that’s for Logan. Tonight, we’re not thinking of anything– not thinking about anything anymore.”

Roman was taken aback.

“Patton, we can continue,” he said gently, “but only if you sit down first and let me grab you some water, okay?”

Patton lifted his head to face Roman, his eyes red from the tears.

“Why do you take care of me?” he suddenly asked, his voice a small whimper. Roman froze as he continued. “Why do– why do any of you care?”

“Patton, I–”

“I don’t do my fucking job right anyway,” Patton hissed. “I’m– I’m broken junk in Thomas’ brain! I can’t even do the right and wrong thing, I can’t– I can’t make him happy. I can’t make you guys happy– ‘n I love you guys! God, I can’t even make stupid cupcakes–”

“None of that is true, Pat,” Roman tried to protest. “You make us extremely happy, you make me– ”

“You’re a liar!” Patton cried, turning on his heel to stare at Roman, whose heart dropped. “You’re– you’re a fucking liar, Roman.”

The air suddenly felt too thick for both of them to be breathing. Patton must have noticed that because as soon as the words left his tongue, he covered his mouth with his hands with teary eyes.

“...Patton, please sit down. You’re not thinking straight.”

“M’not–”

“I know.” Roman tried to keep his voice levelled as he spoke. “Just...just sit down, okay? We’re going to talk it all through.”

Patton just stared at him blankly for what seemed like an eternity before finally speaking up.

“I’m sorry.”

And before Roman could plead for him one last time, Patton sunk out, the bottle of rum still in his hand.

Roman blinked at the spot Patton once stood in, all shaky and teary like he was facing an inky, twisted nightmare. His words echoed in his head and while Roman knew it was best not to take it all to heart, he still felt the sting of each curse.

What kind of a hero was he?

He then looked at the splattered mixture on the floor and sighed. It looked a lot like cake mix. And if there was rum in that, it probably would’ve been good. A shame, really.

His eyes then spotted a book on the kitchen counter, open to a page that had a bit of rum on it judging by the smell. Roman frowned, going over to grab it. He closed it to look at the cover.

It seemed to be Patton’s recipe book, judging by the baking-themed stickers littering the blue cover. When he opened it, he was greeted with pages of ingredients and instructions to make some of Patton’s signature baked goods. The first few pages made Roman smile; there were puns besides some of the ingredients and even cheesy references to him, Logan, and Virgil. It seemed very Patton-esque.

But as he went further through the pages, the tone seemed to shift. There was an absence of puns for one of the recipes, and Roman knew he could’ve at least hit a few. And when he got further than that, he just stopped writing measurements all together. The rum cupcake recipe, which seemed like a recent entry, was barely decipherable.

He flipped back a few pages and saw words scratched out; sentences that didn’t belong in a typical cookie recipe. And the corners of some of the pages were crisp, as if water dried on them over time.

Roman’s breath hitched as he closed the book. Something was wrong, and for the first time he didn’t know what to do.

-----------------------------

~ whats good-berry muffins ~

ingredients

who

cares

theyre

just

stupid

muffins

berries, probably

––

“Roman, he did not mean what he said,” Logan said as Roman paced in front of him. “Perhaps you caught him at a bad time.”

“A bad time?” Virgil echoed incredulously, turning around on the couch to face Logan. “Dude, he was wasted. That’s not a bad time, that’s a ‘code red’ time.”

“Besides, shouldn’t you be advocating for intervention, lo -ve of my life?” Roman asked, still pacing. “You seemed pretty upset about the now-called ‘marshmallow incident’.”

Virgil gave Logan a look and Logan looked down, almost embarrassed.

“...I have since realized that my actions were not ideal, but that is to no fault of my own. Holding guilt does no good, and neither does intervening when one does not want to be...intervened upon.”

“Okay first off, even Janus lies more subtly than that.” Logan didn’t make eye contact with him, but stiffened at Virgil’s words. “And second of all, Patton needs support. We’re supposed to be there for him – not just waiting for the most dire sign. The plane is crashing, Logan; you can’t just put your seatbelt on and wait. You have to do something.”

“Actually, if an airplane is crashing and you are instructed to put your seatbelts on, it is of your best interest that you–”

“For Odin’s sake,” Roman groaned. “I love you, my nerd in shining armour; but you got to learn what a metaphor is.”

Logan fell quiet as Roman continued.

“We need to do something. This isn't a typical Patton dilemma. And I know he doesn’t want to talk about it just out of the blue so we can’t confront him. We have to figure out a way for him to trust us.”

“He loves us,” Virgil grumbled, though hints of anxiety singed the edges of his words. “Shouldn’t the trust be there already?”

“Virgil, he loves us an infinite amount,” Logan said reassuringly, finally settling back into the chair. He pushed up his glasses. “In fact, he probably loves us too much to want to worry us or cause us any emotional strain.”

“But it wouldn’t cause us– well, whatever you said!” Virgil protested. He slumped over, his elbows pressed into his thighs. He looked defeated. “I just want to help him. I can’t stand seeing him like this.”

“I know, stormcloud,” Roman murmured, sitting down beside us. “But...but we can do this. Together. We always have and now, we will.”

Logan nodded, tapping his shoulder so Virgil could rest against it.

“Roman is correct. Besides, we do not even have to confront him. Perhaps confrontation is where part of this issue stems from. The trust is there, we just have to remind him that we are willing to, given that we are his partners. We just need to make a comfortable environment for–”

Suddenly, Virgil felt a small tug in his chest; as if something was pulling him downwards. His eyes widened and his breath hitched at the sensation. He knew where it was coming from.

“Guys, it’s Patton. Something’s wrong.”

In a flash, he sunk out, Logan and Roman soon following suit. Roman pulled out his sword just in case.

When they rose, they found themselves in Patton’s room; though it was less bright than usual. The fairy lights were flickering and swaying against the walls and the frames were all askew. It looked as if it was struggling to keep itself together.

And in the middle of the room was Patton, on the floor and tugging at his hair as he cried, heaving into each sob. Surrounding him were boxes of half-summoned muffin mix, as well as some sugar slowly fading out of existence. In front of him was his recipe book, tearstained and ripped at the edges.

Virgil immediately went to Patton’s side, scooping him up into his arms. Patton made no effort to protest, his body still clenched up from all the energy he was spending summoning the ingredients into his room. In the corner of his eye, he could even see the beginnings of what would be an oven.

“Patton,” Virgil heard Logan breathe out, still standing in the same spot behind them, almost in shock. “You are spending too much energy summoning all these things, your room nor your form cannot handle it. Why don’t you just go to the kitchen?”

Patton sobbed even more, tugging at his hair and curling up into Virgil’s chest. Virgil looked up at Logan over Patton’s hunched shoulders and just shook his head, his eyes flickering between him and Patton.

Logan then made a small ‘o’ shape with his mouth, slowly approaching the two on the floor and sitting cross-legged beside him. He made an attempt to lower Patton’s hands from his hair. Eventually, it turned into him rubbing small circles in Patton’s back with the palm of his hand, softly whispering “it’s okay” under his breath as he moved closer to him and Virgil.

Roman dropped his sword onto the floor and followed suit, grabbing a fluffy blanket from Patton’s bed and going behind his three boyfriends, laying the blanket over their shoulders as if he was shielding them from the unstable room surrounding them. He hovered over their shoulders for a while before kneeling down and hugging all three of them.

And as the ingredients slowly disappeared around them, the room began to fix itself. Patton could breathe a bit slower now, yet the others curled up into him like the warm blanket they were surrounded by.

Eventually, Patton realized that he was no longer crying; yet everyone stayed.

And then, Patton fell asleep; and they stayed for that too.

-----------------------------

~ Don’t Forget-ti That We Love You Funfetti Cake* ~

Ingredients:

For the cake

1 and 2/3 cup (210g) all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda (because so-da one for us!) [1]

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick or 115 g) unsalted butter, melted

3/4 cup (150g) granulated sugar

1/4 cup (50g) packed light brown sugar

1 large egg

1/4 cup (60g) yogurt

3/4 cup (180ml) milk

1 Tablespoon (15ml) pure vanilla extract

2/3 cup (90g) sprinkles (nonpareils not recommended**)

For the buttercream

1 cup (2 sticks or 230g) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

3–4 cups (360-480g) confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup (60ml) heavy cream

2 and 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

salt, to taste

*Virgil actually came up with this and thinks its so lame so thats why that’s the name LOL ~ Roman

[1] Roman wrote this pun but I am making the executive decision to retract this comment from the original script because it is not a necessary part of the recipe.

**can you tell that lo was the one who wrote the recipe ~ v

––

Patton tried his hardest to fight the pull coming from the kitchen.

It’s been a few days since the others found him in his room after his failed ‘bake muffins in isolation’ mission and Patton hadn’t dared to bake since. After all, if that incident wasn’t a good enough warning, the other times they found him in the kitchen were. He couldn’t let them see him like this again, what ‘this’ was.

The others thought they knew he was upset about something, but Patton didn’t know how to tell them that he didn't even know what he was feeling. He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t stressed; he was just feeling every feeling, all at once.

And he didn’t know what to do.

Baking was the only thing he could do when he felt like this. He longed to see a smile on Virgil’s face; to watch Logan actually eat and enjoy it rather than talking about how it didn’t matter that they ate; to laugh as Roman scarfed all of it down and ask for the recipe. The recipe book was actually going to be Roman’s gift for their anniversary. It made his heart ache even more knowing that it wasn’t good enough for him anymore.

When he felt everything or nothing at all, he would just bake and watch as the people he loved were filled with joy; and Patton, selfish as it is, would bask in the sunlight they radiated. If he kept baking and kept making them happy? Well, their light could never disappear.

But then, it did.

And Patton couldn’t bear to stand in the darkness of that kitchen anymore.

Still, the tugging persisted. Patton secretly hoped that him pitying himself would guilt whatever force was summoning him to the kitchen into giving up its pursuit.

Patton sighed, tugging the strings of his cat hoodie a little tighter so that the hood with wrap around his head. Maybe if he didn’t show his face, no one would see that he had been crying for an hour or so.

When he sunk out, he was met with a warmly-lit kitchen and a small cake in the middle of the dining table.

Patton frowned, walking towards it curiously. It was a very...rustic cake, if rustic still meant ‘messy’ in baking terms. The icing was a bit rough around the edges and he felt like the writing in icing was supposed to say “WE ❤ U” but the heart looked a bit like...well, Patton didn’t want to say.

Still, it was rather cute. There was a small plate beside it with a fork and a slice of the cake, dots of sprinkles baked into it. Patton smiled; it seemed to be a funfetti cake! His favourite!

Patton took a bite out of the cake without really thinking about it, his smile only growing at the sweet taste.

That was when he saw the book.

It laid neatly beside the plate, open to a page he didn’t quite remember writing. On it were various scribbles of bright red ink mixed with blue ink, along with a note written in pencil at the bottom of the page. He recognized the handwriting immediately as he picked up the book and began to tear up.

“Virgil, if he does not want to be summoned you cannot–”

Patton looked up from the book and saw Logan and Virgil suddenly at the entrance to the kitchen, stopped in their tracks with their eyes wide. They stared at each other for a brief moment before Virgil huffed, breaking the silence.

“See, Lo?” He kissed Logan's cheek and went on his tip-toes to ruffle his hair, much to Logan’s dismay. “Patton always comes down for cake.”

Patton dropped the book on the table and went over to sweep the two in a big hug, warm and tight and filled with love. Virgil fell quiet, but hugged back as Logan chuckled, patting Patton’s back.

“I sincerely hope the cake is to your standards, Patton,” he said as he pulled back. “I know that the aesthetics are not...well, they are not ideal; Roman spent so much time planning that he forgot to take into account the amount of time we’d actually have–”

“Logan?” Patton said, his voice still scratchy from being close to tears. “I love you. It’s perfect.”

Logan smiled brightly, the light from it almost blinding Patton.

“You guys didn’t have to bake for me!” Patton rubbed at his eyes with a small laugh. “I know baking a cake is no easy task, especially a funfetti cake!”

Virgil shrugged. “Logan led most of it. I kinda just made sure the kitchen didn’t explode. You know how those two can get."

Patton giggled. “Of course.”

“Roman should be on his way shortly,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. “He is acquiring a few blankets and pillows from his room.”

Patton perked up at the thought. Roman’s blankets were made of the softest, most delicate velvet. The idea made his chest warm up.

“You guys did all of this for me?” Patton asked, his voice small.

“Of course we did, Pat.” Virgil held Patton’s hand and kissed it softly. “We love you. And we want to be here for you; even in the less-than-ideal times. You would do the same for us.”

“But we do not expect you to dwell on your emotions if you do not feel comfortable doing so,” Logan continued as he went over to the dining room to grab the cake. “If you would like, we can watch Disney movies and eat cake and provide a distraction. However, we want to reassure you that we are here to listen to whatever is troubling you, so whenever you feel comfortable, please do not hesitate to reach out.” He paused. "We do not have to find a solution right now. We can metaphorically 'sit in the feelings' for a while."

Patton smiled as Logan arrived at his and Virgil’s side. He kissed Patton’s shoulder softly before making his way to the living room, where Patton could hear Roman rambling about what movie would be the best to watch; and he heard Logan’s rebuttals come after.

And walking out of the kitchen and into the living room could only be described as a slow-moving blur. Patton watched as Roman spotted him and swept him up into a big hug, startling Virgil who was later brought into the hug as well. He watched as Logan gave them an amused smile, patting the blankets Roman arranged under a pillow fort in front of the TV, the opening to Tangled—Patton’s favourite—playing on the screen.

“I love you guys,” Patton murmured as he sat in the middle of the pillow fort, a plate with cake in front of him. Logan sat beside him with a nod, kissing his head as he summoned four forks with a smile. Roman and Virgil found their way somehow into the tangled mess of each other, cuddling against Logan and Patton until they were the closest humans, or sides, could ever get.

And no one complained when Patton paused the movie when Eugene got stabbed, crying a bit and telling them about how that scene sort of reminded him about what he felt the night before. No one left when Patton began to spiral a bit from that and sob into his cake, finally admitting to them his thoughts and how he had just been feeling everything.

And then, everyone stayed; even after that.

421 notes · View notes

herstarburststories · 4 years

Text

The devil at your door

Kinktober day 3: Demon

Suptober day 3: Demonic

Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader

A/N: This one goes for @holylulusworld's 10k celebration, my trope was Lovers to Enemies. Congrats again, hon! And this is also my piece for @hardcoresupernatural 's Halloween challenge with the prompt: I'm not scared of you.

@deanmonandnegansbitch's asked: Deanmon x Reader, he realizes no one could tame the marks hunger like she did. And yet he lost her by sticking his dick in other women

Warnings: dirty talk, mentions of boob fucking, hints of dark sexual, angst if you squint, teasing

CATCH UP KINKTOBER: Day 1 / Day 2

Spending his whole life in imaginary chains had frustrated Dean Winchester more than he was aware of. He’d always done what his dad taught him; kept himself from what he wanted in order to be the good soldier — the hero — even if it was against his own desires.

Dean saved the world once or twice and didn't get a thank you, a break long enough to relax or even visit the beach for the first time. No, hunters were never kids. Hunters never had time for fun. Hunters were made to be hunting. He always found himself fighting winless battles and ending up drowned in whiskey and self-pity.

Now it was all gone. His old persona never had time to be human, so losing that side of him wasn't a big deal. If anything, he felt better now. Whatever his green eyes wanted, Dean would go and get it.

No barbed ward could contain a demon, much less the Knight.

At first, it was funny. Messing around with Crowley, fucking some good, new pussies after tasting only yours, and causing destruction whenever he felt like it.

Then the thrill expired. Honestly, the Winchester pictured it would last longer. Crowley started bitching around like a whiny little man and the new girls no longer could satisfy him — that is, if they ever did. Dean was pretty sure he liked them so much because the cat and mouse play of finding a new toy, but at some point, the cat gets enough of the foreplay and wants to eat the prey. They were so boring in all their humanly forms: they didn't have his stamina, they didn’t know his sweet spots, and they didn’t enjoy all the mischievous things he wanted to do.

Only painting his knuckles with an aleatory idiot's blood could get a real smile out of him these days. Nonetheless, even throwing punches gets exhausting when they stop fighting back.

Where was the fun of being free?

It clicked him like one of the worst sounds of tortured souls screams; you.

You used to be the wild in Dean's heart during hunter days. You knew all the bad things he wanted to do, and you moaned in pleasure through them. You knew his body and yours like religion and shamelessly worshipped them.

When he finds himself at your door after leaving a woman who just wanted some vanilla sex in a cheap motel, it shouldn't have been a surprise. At least, it's not in his uniquely demonic brand of rationality. As you open the door, the look on your face tells him you agree with that.

Or so his deranged mind said.

You crossed your arms, the angle exposing your cleavage more as you leaned against the rose-colored door that he helped you paint months ago.

Dean used to think this little apple pie life was so savage, something out of his reach that he’d only get to touch in case of a miracle, like caressing the fire only to get a feel for the burn. Now he can't help but scrunch up his nose, disgusted by domestic, urban pleasures.

“What do you want, Dean?” You looked him up and down, a humorless smile on your face. “Got tired of fucking everyone with a pair of boobs?”

“I'm more interested in your boobs, sweetheart.” Dean isn't put off by your sarcasm, countering with the same flirty tone that used to get you riled up all the time.

Isn't the past such a beautiful memory?

“Go find someone your species, Winchester.” You rolled your eyes and pulled away, pushing the door closed before Dean's foot interrupted you.

He faked a pout. “Wow. That's racist, Y/N. This demon’s got feelings, you know?”

His childish attitude heats your system. Only Dean, demon or not, could push your buttons and get on your nerves in a matter of seconds. You pushed the pink door fully open with enough strength to make it slam against the wall with a loud crack. Dean doesn't look affected, though. You furiously glare at his lopsided grin.

“Do you also have a brain? I told you to leave. Get lost.”

“Come on, baby girl. I know you miss my cock. What about a night to remember?”

Believing he was the man you once loved was getting harder with every word he said. Your body seemed to recognize him easier, aching for him like some kind of spell. All you had after Dean Winchester left was a longing body and fury.

“Do you really think I'm gonna let you in my house for a quick fuck like I'm one of your one night stands?”

Dean appeared to be considering it for a moment, eyes focused on anything but you. His lips pursed before he glanced at you with a malicious beam. “Yes. You always said I was the best sex you ever had. Why not get a bit of it? You already know you won't regret that, sweetheart.”

You studied him, picturing what would bring a man who ran away back to what used to be his home. Dean had left as soon as he became a demon, the only trace of his existence being a note addressed to Sam and pieces of your heart. When you and Sammy finally found the eldest Winchester, he made was certain to make sure that you were aware of his very active sex life. He’d tacked on that he'd kill Sam and you both if you tried to save him.

You let him run like water after this. The Winchesters might have that wondrous codependency, but you didn't need something like that in your life. Especially not with a demonic cheater and murder.

Your eyes were too wide to ignore the warning signs now. Yet, that didn't answer why he was in your doorway. If he wanted to be saved, he'd go for Sam and call you from there. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldn't spend time talking about fond memories. He didn't look like a lost puppy looking for shelter either. So, what the fuck was this green-eyed devil doing here?

Quietude thickened while you noticed Dean not seeming to notice your silence, his eyes too busy observing your breasts. Your Dean Winchester was always a boob man, and he was looking like he'd fuck your titties on your porch for all your neighbors to see. It certainly wouldn't be yours and his first time with public sex. Still, that wasn't the point: he was here, hair longer than usual and cock clearly starting to awaken in his jeans…

Because he had missed you.

You chortled in dismay, unable to discern whether he was kidding or not despite the bulge in his pants, and that glimmer in his eyes already confirmed your suspicions. You knew him.

The realization almost cheered up your soul. Your reasoning stopped you from collecting hopes about that demoniac form of a man. Dean was here for carnal desire, not love. He had sex with other women while you spent sleepless nights crying into his old shirts. He broke you as the monster that he was — he deserved to suffer.

You didn't care if your heart would be a little more broken, or you pussy a bit needier after that.

“You missed fucking me, Dean? Missed my tight pussy squeezing your cock? Maybe my mouth on it? Or how you got it between my boobs? Did you miss how I taste?” You took a step closer to him, making Dean lift his glare to your face again.

He wore a cocky smirk as he answered, “Not as much as you missed me.”

Dean was right. Your body cried for him, and so did your soul. Who fucking cares? He didn't before, and you would not now.

“Liar.” The word rolled letter by letter off of your tongue. “I can take care of myself, even call a friend to do that, but you came back just because you can't forget how eating my pussy like a fucking feast feels like. Can you, sweetheart?”

You used that stupid nickname that he often gave people. You were very aware that it would irritate him, as it was laced with the implication of another man putting his hands on you.

Dean quickly grabbed your waist tightly, pulling you closer to him. He groaned. It was that fucking sound he made when something truly made him furious, and you knew your panties were gone. His eyes flashed into darkness that replaced his glistening greens, and for some calamitous reason, that turned you on.

“You better not have let anyone fuck what's mine, Y/N. I'd rip his throat in front of you and fuck you right next to his body,” he spits out jealously. His posture radiated that usual, alpha-esque tenseness that tumbled you two into angry, possessive sex so many times before.

“So jealous. I loved to tease you only to get you rough on me. Throwing me against the wall, going so hard inside my pussy that the bed broke, holding me hard enough to leave marks. You wanted for my bruises too, right? How I'd scratch your back, bite your collarbone, ruin your neck for everyone to see you were mine, but I guess what you really liked about me was that I was as hungry for you as you were for me. I would’ve let you do anything to my body, and I did. Because I wasn’t scared of you, Dean, and I’m not scared of you now either.” The way your arms compulsively wrapped around his neck made you wonder if you really wanted to strangle him or pull him closer. You could smell his manly cologne mixed with sulfur. It shouldn't make you want him more. Your knees shouldn't be begging to kneel for him and suck his cock. Be stronger. “You could come in, throw my clothes away and fuck my boobs with your dick instead of your eyes. Hurt me good enough to make me ask for more. But you know what?”

“Mm?” Dean's reply came in a hum as you pressed your hips against his, causing his clothed cock to rub on your belly. It was a tiny bit of relief — finally. He missed this so much: he couldn't wait to slip into your tight pussy.

“You won't.” Your lips brushed against his before you pulled away. His hands left your body from his surprise at your words. A wry smirk was wrung from your lips despite your wet pussy. “You stuck your dick into other women as soon as you became… whatever this is.” You scoffed, pointing at him with a feigned disgust in your eyes that you knew your body disagreed with. “Go have fun with your hand, Dean.”

A light rose painted door was ultimately closed in his face.

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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OKAY. how about "This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…" with ur teacher alex/ambiguous office job jack? (or any version of jalex) (we just love jalex in this house)

well hello, she said casually, nine months later. thank you for the excellent prompt, sorry it took me so long to get to it, but you can thank yourself for that too considering going to ssf is what inspired me to finally write this one. bellawritess clumsyclifford pictures is proud to present: the tshirt jalex meet-cute :)

read here on ao3

Later, Alex learns that the boy at the barricade who’d elbowed Alex in the face trying to snatch the thrown guitar pick out of the air is named Jack.

“I’m so sorry,” Jack says for the millionth time, even though Alex has laughed it off every other time. He laughs it off this time, too.

“Seriously, it’s fine. And hey, you caught it.”

Jack holds up the guitar pick, triumphant. “I did catch it,” he says. The blink-182 logo flashes its dead and frozen smile at Alex. Alex finds himself smiling back, though not so much at the pick.

The leaving crowd parts around the two of them. Headlights flood the night, filling the street before them with light and noise. There’s a line of cars backed up further than Alex cares to imagine. Those at the front must have left the show significantly before the set was over. Quitters.

“What I didn’t catch was your name,” Jack adds. His lips quirk, like he’s proud of such a smooth line.

“Alex,” says Alex. “We should probably get out of everyone’s way. Are you waiting for someone, or…?”

“No, no, I came alone.”

“Yeah, me too. Was supposed to have a friend but he bailed on me last-minute.”

“Seriously? Bailed on a blink concert?”

“I know, right?” Alex grins. “Eh, whatever. If he’d been here you probably never would have elbowed me in the face and then we’d never have met.”

“But I would’ve never elbowed you in the face,” Jack says. “Don’t you think you’d have preferred that?”

“Not if it means we’d have never met.”

Jack’s smile slowly grows. “Fair enough. Did you know there’s a 24-hour diner literally five minutes from here?”

“Oh, man, I like the way you think,” Alex says, shoving his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cool late-night breeze. “I didn’t want to sit in this traffic anyway.”

“And I don’t blame you.”

“Well, lead the way,” Alex says, nodding down the sidewalk, and he falls into step with Jack as they both start to walk.

The Tastee Diner is charmingly diner-y — neon lights, stools at the bar, the whole nine yards — and, more attractively, it’s mostly empty at this hour. It’s past midnight, later even than Alex’s usual bedtime, but between the buzz from the concert and Jack the attractive stranger across from him, he’s not really feeling tired. If he’s going to flush his sleep schedule down the drain, a post-concert Friday night seems like the best time to do it.

And Jack is really cute. So that helps.

“Breakfast,” Alex says reverently when they’re seated. “Oh my God, a fucking giant waffle.”

“Wow, everything you say makes me like you more,” Jack says, leaning his elbows on the table. Alex glances over the top of his menu but Jack’s eyes are focused on his own menu on the tabletop. He’s smiling a little. So is Alex.

“It’s a giant waffle, Jack! How the fuck do I say no to that?”

“You don’t. This table is pro-giant waffle. At the exclusion of anything else.”

“You’re damn right it is,” Alex says. “Do we also happen to be pro-chocolate milkshake?”

“We’re pro-vanilla milkshake.”

“Ew, seriously?”

Jack rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know, how can I like vanilla when chocolate is right there—”

“Yeah, how can you?” Alex reaches over the table and covers Jack’s hand with his own. Their eyes meet. Very seriously, Alex says, “How do you look at yourself in the mirror, you monster?”

A beat. Jack chews his lip, clearly trying not to smile. “With great difficulty,” he says. He’s humoring Alex, but sincerity sparkles in his deep brown eyes. His earnest gaze holds Alex’s and he doesn’t pull his hand away. After a moment, Alex does.

“Well, if I looked like you I’d never stop looking in the mirror,” he says instead, and brings his gaze back to the menu. A laugh escapes Jack.

“You can’t turn it off, can you?”

“Turn what off?”

“Your flirty brain-to-mouth pipeline?”

“I could,” Alex says breezily. “I choose not to.” It feels like a subtle rejection, a quiet dig, but it’s hard to be sure. Jack’s smirk seems to suggest otherwise.

The waitress comes by to take their orders of two giant waffles and two milkshakes — chocolate for Alex, vanilla for Jack, though Alex is sure to give Jack a judgmental look as he’s ordering. When she goes, Jack laces his fingers together and leans back in the booth. “So,” he says. “Your name is Alex, you’ve got fantastic music taste, and you seem to be more or less my age, but that’s about all I know about you. Are you from around here? What do you do? Likes, dislikes?”

“Are you trying to build me a dating profile?”

“That wouldn’t be very opportunistic of me, would it?” Jack smiles innocently. Alex’s heart gives a little leap. “I’m trying to get to know you. You know, like any normal stranger would if they found themself at a diner with another stranger.”

That’s fair. They are effectively strangers, although Alex can think of a shorter word to describe what they’re doing right now. He glances around at the jukebox-esque machine bolted to the wall next to their booth, at the empty swivel stools at the bar, at the marble tabletop where Jack is absently tapping his fingers. The decor of the diner is very classic, and he and Jack, both dressed in blink merch and black jeans like the perpetual emo teens they’re no doubt trying to emulate, stick out like sore thumbs.

However unintentional, it sure as hell feels like a date to him.

“I’m from Baltimore,” he starts. Jack lights up.

“No shit! Me too.”

“Really? Whereabouts?”

“Well, I work by the harbor.”

“No shit, I work in Highlandtown,” Alex says excitedly. “Highlandtown Middle. I’m a teacher.”

Jack whistles lowly. “That’s fucking awesome. What do you teach?”

“Music,” Alex says, and Jack groans, although he’s smiling as his hands move to cover his face.

“Of course you do,” he says.

Alex tilts his head. “What, are you not a fan of music teachers? That’s insane.”

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s just.” Jack laughs. “Of course the hot guy I meet at a blink-182 concert is a middle school music teacher. I feel like God is punishing me for refusing to play anything but bad drums in middle school band.”

Alex also laughs. Being called a hot guy by a hot guy is making his stomach do gymnastics. He’s too old for his stomach to be doing things like that, but his stomach clearly doesn’t care. “Well, if I’d been your teacher, trust me, you’d have been playing solidly mediocre drums. But I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Jack’s hands fall to his lap. “I’m sure I’ll get over it,” he says with a slanted smile.

Alex swallows and grins. “So did you look up surrounding diners before you came, or are you just…inexplicably familiar with Silver Spring geography?”

“I come to a lot of concerts here,” Jack says, nodding in the general direction of the venue they’d just vacated. “Venue’s awesome.”

“Yeah, it really is. Honestly, I’m still amazed that you caught that pick.”

“I have a lot of practice. From aforementioned many concerts.”

“I can see that.”

“Trust me, it’s a very specific skill. I’ve got awful hand-eye coordination,” Jack says with a chuckle. “My dream of being the youngest Oriole inducted into the Hall of Fame was crushed at a young age.”

Fizzy champagne fills Alex’s chest. He can’t stop smiling. “Fuck yes, you’re an Orioles fan?”

“That’s my team,” Jack says, looking excited. Possibly at the prospect of meeting another person who’s equally interested in both music and baseball. That’s why Alex is excited, anyway.

“It’s my team,” he says enthusiastically. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, they fucking suck—”

“Oh, no, yeah, they’re the worst—”

“But I’d take a bullet for them. I happily go down with ‘em every year.”

“Yeah, they’re my boys,” Jack agrees. “Here’s hoping this season is better than every single other one.”

“Yeah, all my fingers are crossed, but between you and me I don’t have a lot of faith.”

Jack shrugs and nods. “It’s good for my ego to be so loyal to such a bad team. Keeps me humble.”

“That’s the best attitude I’ve ever heard,” Alex says, and Jack’s smile is so radiant Alex could swear he can feel the glare off the shiny marble tabletop.

“Between ‘All The Small Things’ and ‘Going Away To College’ how the fuck am I going to choose ‘Small Things’?”

“Yeah, but it’s such a classic! ‘College’ is, like, emo and…emo.”

“No more emo than ‘I Miss You’ —”

“That one is a classic—”

“I’m not saying it’s not, I’m just saying ‘College’ is their best song and it deserves its spotlight.”

“That’s ‘Feeling This’ erasure and you know it.”

“Besides ‘Feeling This,’ but they always play ‘Feeling This.’ I stand by what I said. I’d swap ‘Small Things’ for ‘College.’ Deal with it.” Alex tongues his milkshake straw into his mouth. “Your turn.”

Jack glares at him for another long moment, like he has to properly make his point about it. “Fine,” he finally huffs. His gaze shifts sideways, off into the distance like he’s thinking, and he swirls his own straw around his milkshake cup. Alex can kind of see his reflection in it. While Jack is thinking, Alex quickly checks his phone.

(21:47) Rian Dawson: How’s the concert? Fuckin bummed I couldn’t make it :/

(21:48) Rian Dawson: Hope you’re having a good time anyway. Text me whenever you get home so I know you didn’t die or get trampled by a mosh pit or whatever the case may be.

Alex smiles and turns off his phone again.

“I feel like I can’t choose a song off Enema now that you did,” Jack mumbles.

“You can,” Alex says. “It would just be kind of a lot of Enema.”

“No, but Enema is a legendary album. I’d go to a show that was literally just all of Enema.”

“Why were you complaining about ‘College’ then!”

“I’m not complaining about ‘College’ itself, I just would never trade it for ‘Small Things’!”

Alex scoffs. “They play ‘Small Things’ all the time. I’ve never seen ‘College’ live. I’d literally kill.”

“Oh my God, I know what I’d do,” Jack says. “‘Shut Up’ instead of ‘Down.’ That’s the only thing that could make this set list more perfect.”

“Ohhh,” Alex says, “that would be fucking sick. Imagine two thousand people just shouting ‘shut the fuck up, she said’ at the top of their lungs.”

“I cannot think of anything cooler than that.”

Alex hums thoughtfully. “So you went with Take Off Your Pants instead of Enema in the end.”

“Alright, don’t get it twisted. If I could add the entirety of Enema to the set list, I would. But if I only get one song, it has to be ‘Shut Up.’ More Enema is never a bad thing.”

“Why wouldn’t you trade ‘College’ for ‘Down’ then?”

“Because that was your set list move, and this is mine,” Jack says. He slaps the table. “Yeah. This is the answer. Someone get Mark Hoppus on the line, stat. I have to tell him I’ve figured out the formula for the perfect set list.”

“‘Shut Up’ live would be awesome,” Alex concedes. “Good move.”

“What can I say, I have extremely good taste,” Jack says airily.

Alex snorts. “Okay, Vanilla Milkshake.”

“You’re just afraid to taste it because you know deep down that it will be better than your chocolate one,” Jack says, pointing his straw accusingly at Alex. Drops of milkshake fall onto the table. Alex sweeps a napkin over the mess.

“You had an advantage over me, though,” he observes. “You said your favorite blink song is ‘Feeling This,’ which was already on the set list. My favorite song wasn’t, so my hands were kind of tied.”

“It’s among my favorite blink songs,” Jack says. “I have many. Most of which are set list staples, yeah. But that’s on you for only having one favorite song.”

“Wait, what? You can’t have many favorites, that defeats the whole point of having a favorite.”

“I can have multiple favorites, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“No way, man. You only get to have one favorite. You can have second-favorites or close favorites but there’s always one that’s better than the rest.”

“Sorry to burst you bubble, Al, but I have more than one favorite blink song,” Jack says, shrugging. “I also have more than one favorite color and more than one favorite food and more than one favorite song.”

Alex shakes his head through Jack’s speech. “I reject this out of hand.”

“You can’t.”

“Well, Clearly Enema is your favorite blink album.”

“Tied with Take Off.”

“Seriously?” Alex narrows his eyes. “Come on, there must be one thing you have just one favorite of.”

“Yeah, there is,” Jack says. “My favorite movie is Home Alone. No other movie comes anywhere close.”

Of course it is. Alex grins and inclines his head in accordance. “That…is extremely good taste.”

“Thank you,” Jack says graciously, and slurps loudly from his milkshake.

The next time Alex checks his phone, his brain takes a moment to catch up. “Holy shit, it’s already one a.m.?”

“Oh shit,” Jack says, checking his phone as well. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

That adage has never felt more true. Slowly working through giant waffles and milkshakes while exchanging questions and random conversational topics with Jack has been the most fun Alex has had in a long time. Diners, he muses. There’s something about diners. Time feels frozen within these walls, and Alex kind of wants to stay in the time bubble forever, laughing with Jack until the sun comes up.

He could do it. Tomorrow’s a Saturday. Nobody works on Saturday, not even Jack at his “boring office job” (his words).

But he knows there’s a reason that nothing gold can stay. It wouldn’t be valuable if it lasted forever. The night will crystallize as something special in Alex’s memory, but it can’t do that until it ends. And it has to end eventually.

“We should probably go,” Alex says reluctantly. Jack nods once.

“Yeah,” he says. He signals for the check and looks back at Alex. “My treat.”

“Uh, no way. I’m paying.”

“Nope, not happening. I will elbow you in the face again if I have to. I’m paying this check.”

“Jack—” Alex wavers. Jack looks so insistent, eyebrows raised like he’s daring Alex to argue, and there’s nothing to do but smile. “Okay. If you insist. We’ll call it even for you assaulting me earlier.”

“Exactly,” Jack says, and he happily accepts the check when the waitress hands it to him.

“Did you guys get everything you need?” she asks the two of them.

Alex glances at Jack, but Jack’s scanning the check. “Pretty much, yeah,” he tells the waitress. She leaves them with the check, and they vacate their table to go pay it at the front.

Alex wonders what someone might think if they saw this table. Whether anyone could even begin to illustrate the story of the night using only two empty milkshake cups and two plates that formerly held waffles. It would be impossible. Not even Sherlock Holmes could work this one out.

Alex smiles. They’re a fossil in amber, preserved in memory. Even if it turns out not to be a date, Alex knows he’ll look back on tonight fondly, and he can count on this exact same smile every time he does.

Jack finishes paying and turns to face Alex. One arm outstretched, he says, “Shall we?”

Alex links their arms. “After you, good sir.”

They’re laughing as they leave in a glow of neon light.

“This is me,” Alex says, gesturing half-heartedly at his car. They both stop short behind it.

“Ah,” Jack says, nodding. “So I guess this is where I leave you.”

Alex swallows. “I’m glad you elbowed me in the face,” he admits, which sounds strange to say out of the blue. “I had a good time tonight.”

“What, at the concert?”

Jack is obviously teasing, but Alex doesn’t mind being more clear. “Actually, I think I had more fun after the concert,” he says, smiling a little. “You’re good company, JB.”

Jack smiles, and if Alex isn’t mistaken, he’s also blushing. “Same to you,” he says. “Despite your wrong opinions about the set list.”

“I hate sounding like a cliché,” Alex says, ruffling a hand through his hair. Jack cocks his head. “But, um, I’d like to see you again. If that’s okay.”

“So okay,” Jack says. “And totally plausible, considering we apparently live within twenty minutes of each other.”

“True,” Alex says. “The universe really wanted us to meet, I guess.”

“Thank you, Universe, for putting Alex in harm’s way,” Jack says solemnly, looking upwards. Alex laughs. “Can I have your number?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.”

Alex recites his phone number for Jack to enter into his contacts. “I promise I’ll call,” Jack says. His gaze flits around Alex’s face like it can’t find a good place to land. He drags his index finger diagonally over his chest. “Cross my heart and everything.”

“I have to ask,” Alex says, shifting on his feet. “Were you— was this supposed to be a date?” He hesitates; maybe that’s the wrong question. “Was it a date?”

“For the sake of anniversaries, let’s say yes,” Jack says. Immediately his face puckers in regret. “Pretend I didn’t say that. I’m— my brain gets ahead of me.”

“No, it’s all good.” It’s more than good; there’s a horde of butterflies in Alex’s ribcage that won’t fucking quit, not now that he knows Jack is thinking of anniversaries when this is only maybe their first date. A person who is not only anticipating a future for them but preparing to celebrate it. So far, so fucking good. “You’re a practical thinker. I can appreciate that.”

“And I appreciate that you aren’t deleting your number from my phone even after I just said that to you,” Jack says, grinning. His grin melts away when he sighs. “I should go. It’s late.”

“Yeah,” Alex echoes. “Late.”

“Please drive safe,” Jack says seriously. “If I’m the last person to see you before you die, that’ll make me look really bad.”

Alex laughs. He likes that Jack keeps making him laugh. His friends make him laugh, too, but Jack makes him laugh in a different way, like he can’t stop himself. Like the delight refuses to stay trapped.

“I promise to drive safe,” he vows. “I owe you a date. I would hate to lose the chance to impress you.”

“Oh, wait, that reminds me.” Jack reaches into his pocket and presses something into Alex’s hand. It’s the guitar pick, warm from Jack’s pocket. “You’ll probably use it more than me,” Jack explains, ducking his head. “You know, being a music teacher and all.”

“Oh,” Alex breathes, flipping the pick in his palm. “That’s, um…thank you. Thanks. I’m…”

“Yeah,” Jack says, licking his lips. “Of course. Um, okay, now I really should go. But like I said, I’ll call.”

Alex nods, still staring at the guitar pick in his hand. His head snaps up and he breaks from whatever trance he’d fallen into. “I’m counting on it,” he says, stepping closer to Jack. He hears Jack inhale as he leans closer, brushing his lips to Jack’s cheek.

When Jack speaks, it’s a hoarse whisper. “I had a good time too, you know.”

Alex leans away and starts walking backwards to the driver-side door. “Good,” he says, smiling warmly. He’s not really trying to smile so warmly but he can’t help it. “Get home safe, Jack.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “You too, Alex.”

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demonfox38 · 3 years

Text

Okay. Made it through the last season of Netflix's "Castlevania" interpretation. Thoughts are below the cut.

I've often thought of this series as the exploitation version of "Castlevania," and hiring Malcom McDowell confirms that.

Although, I find it hilarious that both Malcolm McDowell and Patrick Stewart have ended up voicing the same character. I'm sure there's a "Star Trek Generations" joke to be made in there, but I'm not Mike Stoklasa.

Also, I was cracking up a bit when Varney's plot twist happened. Mostly, because it came off a bit Skeletor-esque in vocal performance.

Also, also—laughing that the final boss went the "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence" route despite barely touching on that game's plot.

Animation had its ups and downs with this season. It seemed like there were some frame issues (not enough inbetweening.) I do appreciate how they incorporated more of Alucard's SOTN animations into his fights, however.

Additionally, some of the fight scenes' pacing seemed to have issues, particularly regarding weapon recovery.

The whole bit with St. Germain was off. Like, he's a weird asshole in "Castlevania: Curse of Darkness", but he's more of a weird asshole there in the same way that casually encountering "Doctor Who"'s Doctor would also be strange. Not a straight up villainous boob. Kinda makes sense thematically to have another character who is willing to do horrible shit for their lost loved one, but the series honestly did not do a good job establishing her. Like, did she even have a voice actor? Or a name? All I'm saying is it was much easier for outsiders to get the Lisa revenge thing Dracula had going.

Also, how dare you joke about not being deaf and then have a villainous monologue, TV show.

Greta's a good girl. Well, outside of being an occasional homewrecker. Point is, she's competent and trying her best to save people in a bad situation, and anyone having issues with her is not to be trusted in the same way that you don't trust people who don't like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2."

Look at me. Do not trust people who do not like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2." Yes, her writing could have been better, but she's still a viable character. Let people Thunder Child their ships on the rocks of your better self. Got me?

Also, y'all really need to embrace more polyamory. Or understand the fact that Alucard's not going to love just one person in his life. Dude lives to be at least 600 in the game's timeline. For a dude who loves humans, constricting him to just one who may live to be 100 at best is cruel.

There are some interesting philosophical dialogues going on here, but I can see where some people may lose their patience for them. Considering one of Castlevania's most popular memes is a philosophy debate, you're just gonna have to suck that up. My personal favorites included the topic of acting versus reacting, as well as having agency in one's story.

Striga's battle theme was cool, but otherwise, the music was forgettable. Yes, that is a sin. Punishable by Death? In this series, maybe!

The gore's still over the top. Which, okay, fine. There's a bit of that in game. It's just generally a bit more reserved with it or uses it in crucial boss fights.

RIP doggie.

The Targoviste plot's a bit of a wash, but it doesn't feel as useless as Trevor and Sypha's previous plot predicament. It's just nothing of a surprise, considering how many times the writing has played the "authority figures are useless" and "dark secret surprise" tropes in this series. Like, Greta being reliable is actually more surprising than anything with this plot.

I cannot emphasize enough how boring I found Carmilla's interpretation and plot arc. You guys could have had a giant, naked lesbian riding a skull and spewing magic at people while her cat-eared girlfriend jumped them for extra damage. But no. Vanilla lady with a scarlet sword for you. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good night.

Gotta say, as much of a deviation from his source character as he is, Isaac really turned out well in this series. He's definitely evidence that you don't always need to stick to source material.

His Abel is fucking sick, dude. Way to go, king.

Also, I was expecting more violence from Hector this season. Oh, well. At least he got a teeny bit of a spine.

Look. I'm not an alchemist by any means. I'm just a bit baffled by this season's emphasis of obtaining a Rebis. Like, any time the game series has talked about the Magnum Opus of Alchemy, it's more been in pursuit of making a Philosopher's Stone (or at the very least, a Crimson Stone, as seen in "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence.") Pulling a Rebis out of the aether is…well. Could have been more interesting than it was. I mean, it was a bit nightmarish, but it really didn't do much.

Sypha's really never getting back to her family, is she?

Love the idea that the cross subweapon is basically a fancy chakram.

GERGOTH. BUDDY. FRIENDO.

Really appreciating the monster variety in these last two seasons. I mean, that's a big selling point of the "Castlevania" games. Not so much vampires standing around and bickering in dick-waving contests.

Breaking out of the bullet points to hit on the big subject of this season—that is, the ending being surprisingly happy.

There's been a lot of shit that's happened over the last few years. Obviously, a pandemic. Konami's run by pricks. Then, there's the situation with the allegations of sexual coercion with Warren Ellis. Additionally, the terrible ending of "Game of Thrones" likely impacted how this season was developed, considering it seemed to be chasing its progression in construction. (I mean, look at Carmilla and Daenerys.) I don't know how many people were happy with the last season of "Castlevania," but from my POV, it double-tapped itself in the foot with the way it pushed simultaneous sex and violence in its last two episodes. My point is, there was little taste for additional darkness, considering everything that has been happening. Society is drained.

A happy ending was what people really wanted. And man, did this pull through, in that regard. But, there's a conversation to be had in if this swerved too far or if it violates some artistic integrity to give people what they want. So, let's have it.

Look. Man. Have you seen a "Castlevania" ending? When you do it right, it's crumbled castles and rainbow-colored skies. If you do it really right, it results in a pretty girl holding the main character's hand. There is happiness in these games. Hope. Forgiveness and redemption. If this is supposed to be any bit an accurate interpretation of these games, it absolutely should end in such a joyful fashion. (Okay, maybe giving Dracula and Lisa a second honeymoon at the end was a bit much, but I get where people would want that.)

Did some items need to be addressed more? Absolutely. Alucard staking people and Hector getting sexually coerced into servitude are some pretty big topics to just wave away. (Oh, shit. That second part is even worse now with what Ellis was allegedly doing, isn't it?) I suppose I'm just glad the series didn't go full Sephiroth with Alucard. And at least Hector finally took some stand in his situation, even if it wasn't the bombastic, hateful revenge I'm used to seeing from this character in other stories.

I think the creators of this series were trying to save this show from the fate of "Game of Thrones." (To some extent, perhaps the "Voltron" re-interpretation as well.) There's so much media out there anymore that if a production team doesn't nail the ending, their creation gets wiped out of the collective consciousness. To that extent, I think the creators were successful in saving their series. Did it do damage to itself in yanking out of its construction and themes? A bit. But, in doing so, it pivoted back to being more like a proper "Castlevania" product. (And of course, by proper, I mean anything ignoring "Lords of Shadows." God, people need to stop chasing other products when developing "Castlevania" stuff and just let the series be as it is.)

I am very curious as to how much of this season was part of an original draft and how much was revised in backlash to everything that has happened. It doesn't seem like Trevor was intended to survive, but to some extent, Sypha had to. (I mean, until she has a kid, anyway. See "Lords of Shadows" series for dickery regarding that.) I'm also wondering if there was more intended for the Carmilla subplot, as much as the series was banging on about her invading locations. I'm not even sure St. Germain was intended to be a villain all along. Getting into a bitchfight with Death? Sure. Doing what he did here? That's a weird arc, dude.

If you come away from my POV with anything, it should be this: GO PLAY THE GAMES.

Do it. Do it, you ghouls. Go to the Steam store and download the "Castlevania Anniversary Collection." Boot up your PS3 or 4 or 18 or whatever and get "Symphony of the Night." Throttle Nintendo's stores until "Aria of Sorrow" or "Dawn of Sorrow" or "Harmony of Dissonance" or whatever rattles out of their moldy pockets. Find a ROM. Find an ISO. Just play a game. Especially, one of the ones made before 2010.

"Castlevania" as a game series isn't about hordes of vampires dick-waving at each other or edgy swearing or being grim and dark. Some of that stuff's there, sure. But, at its core, it's what game developers created when they looked at Universal Monster Movie creations and went "That's cool. Let's fight that!" It's a series about pushing technology in MMC chips to make rich, vibrant music. It's about flourishing artwork and layers of sprites dripping particles and gore onto players. It's sober and goofy and very pro curry.

The thing is, "Castlevania" players have their own unique connection to the series. We're the weirdos you see clapping their hands when a mutilated dinosaur shows up on screen. It's not because the monster alone is cool. It's that we've fought and struggled and bodied that thing through several floors like a goddamn "X-Men: Children of the Atom" stage. It's kicked our asses. We've kicked its ass. We've got a connection to it that you just don't get from passively watching it barf lasers through a computer monitor or TV screen. Like, you know how people go, "Well, the movie wasn't as good as the book?" It's obnoxious, sure. But, those who read the source materials have to go to the effort of constructing their own sets and people to understand what's happening. In a similar fashion, game players build up their own skill set to reach that next rung.

Maybe you don't always get a payout when you invest your resources into something. But, there is a sense of accomplishment, seeing what you can do.

There's a reason this series got an adaptation. I mean, outside of Konami's head executives wanting easy money. "Castlevania" is a fantastic video game series. Has it got a few problems? Oh yeah. Especially after outsourcing and pachislot machines became all the rage. But, there's a reason Simon and Richter Belmont are playable in "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate." There's a reason I spent a significant amount of time playing these games and writing or drawing fanworks for it. These games are wonderful. Beautiful. Difficult, but inspiring. Reasons I will still bang on about them decades years down the road.

When I get exasperated by layers of angst and edge lord content this Netflix series generated, I want you to know why. The roots of this show are good games held captive under poor management. Some people on staff know this. I wish they had more scenario and writing control. But mostly, I don't want to shit on them or their work. (Well, other than perhaps the obvious target.) I just want you to see what I love in these games.

And also to watch Crashervania. Because that's legit.

#castlevania #netflix castlevania #spoilers #tl;dr play ball or SOTN or a Sorrow game or something

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galaxysgal · 4 years

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If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Coworkers!

my contribution to @finnpoeevents day 2! (mutual pining and/or office au) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: None Relationships: Finnpoe Characters: Finn, Poe Dameron, Original Characters Additional Tags: Fluff, Dorks, Dorks in Lve, Getting Together, First Kiss, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Office Party, Christmas, Christmas Party, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Mutual Pining, Finn-centric, Cuties, Meddling, Champagne, Drinking, But like its just two glasses of champagne, soft Summary: Poe appeared beside him in a quiet corner of the room that they had claimed as their own, two glasses of crappy champagne in his hands and a grin on his face.

"Drink up buddy," he said, clinking their glasses together before downing it all in one go.

Aka: my contribution to Finnpoe Week 2020 Day Two: Mutual Pining or Office Au! I decided to combine whe two into a fluffy lil one shot in which Finn and Poe are office buddies who have been pining for months. Pure fluff ft. Christmastime, soft pining, and meddling coworkers :)

Read here on my Ao3

taglist: @tinyphantomsalad @wheeliebinbyers @xwings-can-fly @imasunflower00 @shibasus @stormpilotsrus @kitmarloweki

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Finn hated office Christmas parties. Sincerely, he hated them. Rey would tell him "hate is a strong word Finn," and Finn would reply that he strongly disliked office christmas parties, but that was just for show. He really, sincerely, truly hated them. The gift exchanges, the mistletoe, the mediocre champagne, it was the worst. The only thing that made these parties better was Poe Dameron.

Poe was Finn's cubicle neighbor and favorite co-worker. Their friendship had started with notes slipped under the partition between their desks, just simple things like 'have you met your quota?' or 'is the wifi on the fritz?' but from then it evolved to sharing lunches, swapping stories and spilling office gossip. Poe was sweet, he remembered Finn's coffee order after hearing it only twice, and he would bring Finn a small iced vanilla latte every morning. Now, Poe appeared beside him in a quiet corner of the room that they had claimed as their own, two glasses of crappy champagne in his hands and a grin on his face.

"Drink up buddy," he said, clinking their glasses together before downing it all in one go.

Finn did the same, taking the moment afterwards to look Poe up and down. He was wearing an unfairly tight pair of jeans, cuffed up to reveal Christmas socks sticking out of his black converse, and the most authentic looking ugly sweater Finn had ever seen. His dark brown curls were unstyled and mussed from the reindeer antler headband he kept taking off and repositioning, over and over.

He took it off again and Finn snatched it up, placing it on his own head. "How do I look?" he asked, turning in a circle.

"Gorgeous," Poe replied, a fond look in his eyes.

Wait, fond? No, that was definitely a friendly look. A look of friendship. from a friend. A friend who would be so nice as something more… Finn shook away his internal monologue and constant pining, and struck a few ridiculous poses. "I'm ready for my closeup Mr. Dameron," he joked.

Quick as lightning Poe had whipped out his camera and started snapping pictures of Finn with his flash on, playfully calling out to him with paparazzi-esque phrases. "Finn! Finn! Finn who styled you this evening? Marc Jacobs? Calvin Klein?"

Finn laughed, striking a few more poses before a drunk coworker slammed into him, knocking him directly into Poe. They laughed together, untangling themselves and returning to regular conversation.

At some point Poe disappeared to shake the white elephant gift exchange boxes, and Finn found himself the victim of one of Chatty Cathy's drunken rants. She was going on and on about something her ex husband had done, but Finn wasn't paying attention. He smiled down at his phone, looking at the pictures Poe had sent him, the ones he had taken earlier, along with a string of star emojis.

Poe: gorgeous

Poe: a star in the making ;)

Poe: you in need of rescuing?

Finn chuckled lightly- much to the dismay of Chatty Cathy who paused to give him an angry look before continuing on anyway- and tapped out a response.

Finn: yes please

Finn: immediately

Poe appeared beside him mere seconds later, somehow managing to charm Chatty Cathy into letting them leave, and pulling Finn along behind him. "I've got a surprise for you," he said with a smile, making Finn's insides go all warm and twisty.

Poe dragged him up to the roof, where he had managed to steal an entire box of cheese pizza, a couple plates of fruit, and two more champagne flutes. "How did you-" Finn began, staring in awe.

"Charm," Poe said with a wink, offering up a plate of fruit. "Pineapple?"

Finn laughed, taking a piece off the plate and eating it while Poe pulled over two plastic chairs. "This is absurd, god, what are we even doing?" He sat down beside Poe, sharing the plate of fruit.

"Finally enjoying some peace and quiet away from our annoying ass coworkers," he replied, grabbing a slice of pizza and offering one up to Finn.

"Can't argue with that," he murmured, surveying Poe's face in the low light. It was unfair how he managed to look good in every light. For instance, the fluorescent bulbs of their office building shined brightly on all his features, showing them off in sharp detail. The dim light of the attached warehouse cast shadows on his face, defining the line of his jaw. And now, under the soft orange glow of the street lamps, his eyes shined.

"You cold?"

Finn snapped out of his thoughts, face heating up as he realized he had been staring. He was met with a gentle smile, and Poe reached over to rub his arms. "Yeah, a little," Finn admitted.

"Here," Poe tugged his sweater off, revealing a solid maroon long sleeve tee underneath. "This'll keep you warm," he said.

"Poe I can't-" he tried to protest, but the sweater was already in his hands, fabric warm and smelling like spice and cologne. "Won't you get cold?"

Poe shook his head, "I run warm, and this has fleece on the inside." He turned the sleeve of his shirt inside out, showing it to Finn, "it doesn't matter anyway, long as you're warm," he said.

Finn felt something warm in his chest, and thought he saw Poe's eyes flick down to his lips. He almost leaned in, almost did it, and then a violent shiver racked his body. Just like that the moment was gone. He pulled the sweater over his head, breathing in the fabric as it pulled over his face. "Thank you."

Poe hummed, "it suits you," he murmured.

They chatted for nearly an hour, until all the pizza was gone and Finn was starting to shiver again. Poe reached over, rubbing his arms to warm him up.

"God, what time is it? How long have we been-" Poe was distracted by the sound of giggling, and of the door slamming shut. The door with the automatic locks. "Shit!"

Poe leaped up and Finn followed him, running over to the door. There was a note on the ground and-

"Is that mistletoe?"

Poe nodded, reaching down to pick up the note. "It says 'Please for the love of god just kiss already. We can see the pining from miles away. Xoxo Cathy and Brad!'"

Finn's heart sped up, and he forced a laugh. "Very funny, good joke," but when he looked at Poe, he looked a little hurt. "It is… it is a joke, right?"

Poe chuckled. "Yeah buddy, a joke. A cruel, cruel joke."

Finn knew better. That was a lie, he could tell. Poe was lying, and if Poe was lying, that meant he felt the same. Poe felt the same. And all of a sudden Finn was kissing him, messy and hard, teeth bumping and hands awkwardly brushing over shoulders and hips, and it wasn't perfect but it was good. It was so good.

Finn never wanted to pull away, Poe tasted like fruit and champagne and everything he had ever wanted. He was warm, lean muscle beneath his fingertips, soft curls against his forehead. It was everything he had imagined and more. Poe's hand came to rest on the small of his back, pulling him closer and their kisses slipped into something a bit more tame. The slide of their lips became gentle, warm, reassuring.

Finn's heart swelled in his chest and he reached out to run his fingers through Poe's hair, tentative and light. Poe let out a small, happy sigh, and Finn took that as an encouragement to bury his hands in Poe's hair, brushing and pulling lightly, twirling one little curl around his finger.

When they finally broke apart, Poe looked at him for a moment, then crushed him in a hug. "You're so- I just- I-" he struggled to form words and Finn chuckled. "You're perfect, Finn. You're perfect. I've wanted to tell you that for so long and I just, I never could. And now I can."

Finn smiled wider then than he ever had before, holding Poe a little tighter. He didn't speak, afraid if he opened his mouth he'd rush into 'I love you's, and that was not what they needed right now. He simply pressed kisses to Poe's hair and held him until he regained the ability to form words.

"You want to maybe go for coffee? Catch a late movie?" He asked, releasing Poe from his grip.

"That-" Poe laughed and looked down at his shoes, then back up at Finn. "That sounds amazing, really. I would love to." He leaned in brushing a kiss to Finn's cheek, his nose, then his lips. "We just gotta get off this roof first. Which could, uh, it could take a while."

"Oh god," Finn laughed, and Poe wrapped an arm around him. "At least I have you to keep me warm."

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

I hope you enjoyed!!

#finnpoeweek20 #finnpoe #stormpilot #finnpoe fic #stormpilot fanfic #star wars #sw #star wars sequel trilogy fanfic #star wars sequals #star wars sequel trilogy #finn #poe dameron #modern finnpoe #mags writes #mags' finnpoe chronicles

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curejunereblogs · 4 years

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An Extensive List of Phantom Thieves (怪盗)

but first the criteria:

The boundaries for what makes a thief a phantom and whether it's different from a gentleman thief are wobbly

We can't really just allow everyone who calls themselves "kaitou" to qualify, because there's Kaitou Sai from Nogami Neiro who is a serial killer which is A Very Bad Thing. most good examples of thieves have a "no kill" rule

If we set that they have to steal for Good Reasons, we cut off Kaitou Joker, who is very much a phantom thief, so we have to allow "thrill of the chase" as a valid-ish reason for stealing. no bonus points though, it just not instant disqualification

I found that "sends a calling card" is a good rule to stick to so I trimmed my original surprisingly long list based on whether I know for sure they send announcements or cards or letters or such. If you don't say "come and get me" to your target, you're pragmatic, a realist and also a coward

Which led me to a conclusion that to be a proper phantom thief, the main thing you should be after is the spotlight. You have to steal the show. Otherwise you're just a thief, maybe a gentleman, but not a phantom. Contrary to the name, you have to be seen. Good phantom thieves have a give-and-take relationship with their audience - they take the treasure, and give back a performance or some other form of entertainment (or purpose in life in some cases).

The following compilation doesn't include: books, hentai, eroge, BL, things where i couldn't translate the title into English, the ones that don't send calling cards(as far as i know) and in general a bunch of media i most definitely missed

Phantom Thief Hall of Fame:

- Kaito Kid(1987), Kaitou Saint Tail(1994) and Kaitou Joker(2007) are all brilliant examples of the genre, and if you don't know any of them, they all have a bunch of passionate fans each and they can all be googled really easily

- Joker and his gang from Persona 5(2017); i'm consiously placing him in the second/fourth place because even though he's really cool, very popular and is The phantom thief to a lot of people unfamiliar with the genre... he doesn't have a tophat (his persona is not enough)

- ... I'll just mention that Lupin the 3rd(1967) exists and go on

- and of course, Lupin III and about a quarter of all phantom thieves are in some way based on Arsène Lupin(1905) by Maurice Leblanc

- ex. there was a french-canadian cartoon about Lupin called Night Hood(1996)

- Cat's Eye(1981), cited as an inspiration for Saint Tail, is about a trio of sisters who steal stuff in order to get closer to their dad and it's epic

- Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne(1997), like Saint Tail, doubles as a magical girl series and is about magical stealing and the clothing is eastern and the manga swerves into weird territory in the end but it features one of the precious few phantom thief & phantom thief romances

- King of Bandits Jing(1995), while doesn't have the aesthetic, has the weirdness, the charm, the calling card (i think) and is generally cool enough to steal his place on the list whether he’s a phantom or not

- The Acrobat/Man of Twenty Faces(1990), also known as Akira Ijyuin; charming child somehow without most of the problems the CLAMP protagonists tend to suffer from

- Phantom R the titular Rhythm Thief(2012), a great example of a dancer show-off, has a dog

- The Black Rose from Ashita no Nadja(2003) is a tuxedo mask-esque character

- Kaitou Kiramekiman(2000) is a cool retrofuturistic-looking duo trying to save the world in a show that is tragically more about their police counterparts Doing Absolutely Nothing because the villains tend to be more popular in that franchise

- Pacricon(1999) takes place in a world where money has been cancelled(?), has a hella cool calling card

- Shadow Lady(1995)... well, there's a lot of fanservice - like, a lot, and it's tiring and i warned you - but there's also some genuinely funny twists like cancelling her heist on live tv just because she didn't feel like doing it. it also got very unceremoniously axed

- Kaitou Alexandrite(2006) owns/co-owns/frequents a bordel so there's some nsfw to be seen on occasion but it's tolerable and could be described as tasteful i guess. she stole someone's voice once. it also features one of the best identity reveals

- Chat Noir from Granblue Fantasy(2014) is a fighting unit; he has a "calling card" skill and i think that's beautiful

- Phantom Skye from Harvest Moon DS Cute(2005), a not-very-secret character, is an absolute cheese but it loops right back into being charming

- Kaito Rousseau(2006) for Nintendo DS, where a tiny thief boy is horrible at going unnoticed unless he disguises his face as whatever you draw on your ds screen

- Mask DeMasque from Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations(2004) is a thing?

- Sly Cooper(2002) is known as Kaitou Sly Cooper in Japan so he fits the bill

- PxP(2006), short manga about a girl thief in high school

- Sweet Kaitou Vanilla Moon(2010), pastry-themed phantom thief? hell yeah!

- Kaitou Reinya(2010), a short comedy that is not to be taken seriously but you might get a few chuckles from it and i don't regret giving it a second chance (warning: cartoonish animal abuse)

- Cat's Eye(s)(2010), a remake of the original tale of three sisters with different PoVs

- Kaitou Jack from Nishikida Keibu wa Dorobou ga Osuki(2013); it's a gag manga about a cute phantom thief boy and an old man detective that acts like a schoolgirl around that boy. ... I'm only mentioning it here because I like Jack's costume and "i'm-SO-done-with-this" faces and it's mostly intended to be funny. mostly.

- Kaitou Okami-Zoku Shonen(2013), a oneshot about a werewolf who eats people's hearts (metaphorically! through kisses) but is really stylish about it. Think P5 protagonist but alone and a werewolf

- Phantom Thief F's Scenario(2013) is a vocaloid song about a diamond heist on a luxury liner

- Kaitou Le Vin(2014) is about six people stealing wines and it's epic but they can't shut up about wine for one second

- Gaitou Alice(2015) is about a guy looking like Kaito Kuroba going into people's hearts to steal stuff before P5 made it cool. Features amazing artwork but kinda gross stuff closer to the end so it's kind of understandable why it got axed but it has a kind of weird charm to it

- Mystic Thief X from a mobile dating game Miss Detective's Undercover(2017) (i'm scraping for phantom thief content) is honestly excellent at his job. he might only be showing off for one person but damn it's romantic af and i love him

- Kaitou Shounen Jokers(2017) is a sequel to Kaitou Joker, and is directly about the previous protag's kid going to a phantom thief school (i have no hard evidence he sends calling cards but if he doesn’t take after dad i’m-)

- Kaitou Saint Tail girls!(2018), a sequel to Saint Tail, is very cute and has two new Saint Tails working together! i wish i knew more about it

- Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger(2018), live-action series that is a must-watch for anyone who loves phantom thieves because it's a masterpiece of a tv show; besides the three thieves it also features the best police officers in the genre (it kind of has to since they're protagonists too but boy does it deliver)

- Secret x Warrior Phantomirage(2019) is also a live action and it's all about girls stealing enchanted hearts! i actually don't know if they send cards but it feels right placing them after lupinrangers and they're definitely show-stealers

- Kilroy(2018) is a western comic about a guy who broke an unconventional mirror and has to do unconventional repairs

- Kaitou Kamaitachi(2018) has a cute reporter boy and a lot of butterflies

- Destined Memories(2019) is another mobile dating game, there are thieves (called the Crows) in victorian england and they send notices and it's way better at being a phantom thief story than an actual phantom thief story by this company that i'll maybe mention later if i get to compiling a list of thieves that don't send cards

- I really want to put Majo Kaitou Lip☆s(2019) in this category, I want her to send calling cards, but there's like two chapters out so there's still time. The artwork for this series is GORGEOUS and the idol imagery is amazing and i love it so much I just want her to be popular

i might've ignored some phantoms you may have heard about, but 50% i've checked and they don't send calling cards. If they do, additions are welcome!

#怪盗 #phantom thieves #kaitou #phantom thief #kaito #mysterious thief #phantom thief tag team #stuff i'm passionate about

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fullymechanized-consoomer · 5 years

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40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually.

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike”

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is.

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool.

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t-

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game.

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great.

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun.

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian.

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise.

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once.

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women.

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy.

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.” You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army.

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does.

#40k #warhammer 40k #table top

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iamsamball93 · 4 years

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Vivienne Westwood S/S14

Vivienne Westwood is notorious for her overt designs, loud prints, political stance and reinforcing the importance of past eras. Her Spring/Summer 2014 collection is no exception with her Man line showing firm signs of Parisian chic and waterfront charm mixed with ancient Roman gladiator-esque shirts. Tie-dye, berets and chambray are also firm favourites within the bold and innovative designs. Not to mention the consistent political theme with her ‘TRUTH’ shirts and clip on accessories branded with Bradley Manning’s face in reference to the trial in which the former US soldier allegedly leaked secret government information to WikiLeakes.

Westwood herself deemed the collection ‘inspired by her trip to India’ with husband Andrea Kronthaler and these themes are present within the collection of ethnic prints, turban-style head wraps and oversized lion heads finished with orange hues.

There is a consistency with lilac and vanilla toned suiting, tartan and warm fine stripes that bring the bold streak down a level for a more understated yet stunning look. A reinvented 1700’s French fashion was stylised on the runway in the form of a navy structured waistcoat complete with gold-buttoned lapels. Reminder of Les Miserables, anyone?

Red Label exercises the usual S/S cycle with floral prints, navy blue, and vanilla shaded suiting whilst also completely reinventing the wheel with the edge only Westwood could conjure up and get away with. Her women’s concept across both labels is climate change and this was strongly represented in this collection with the print shirts branded ‘CLIMATE’ and the variation of different green hues, the presence of her want for change is strongly reinforced. Vanilla is a consistent colour throughout her S/S line for both men and women; it’s fresh and warm and culminates her pieces in a more wholesome way.

Her floral prints are defined in a more forestation vibe, more greenery and just on the right side of your granny’s old flower-printed vinyl tablecloth, Westwood shares this print in her sequined corseted dresses, tops and cropped jackets. It’s reminiscent in bringing an essence of previous eras into the modern day, causing a re-appreciation for what we previously deemed relatively ugly.

Tartan is always favoured, especially within Vivienne Westwood’s collections, her British punk air ever present; she reincarnated the pattern this season in her suiting, just in a more subtle and toned down way. The collection was showcased complete with battered straw hats and gladiator strap wedges, for the most part, that helped bring the designs to life. Overall it’s an edgy and oversized-but-synched-waist collection, fresh yet daring and completely breaking the summer vibrancy of fashion. In an impeccable and exciting way.

Continuing with the importance of climate change, the Gold Label show was coined ‘Everything Is Connected’ by Ms Westwood herself, it proclaims ‘that is the main message of the Climate Revolution and it means that everything each one of us thinks or says or does can make a difference’. It’s very African-meets-femininity. It’s medieval and rural, sharing with a world-wide audience that this is our time to contribute to our own habitat, to make a change for generations to come. The forestation was more obvious on the runway with many of the models sporting leaf crowns and carrying sticks representing feminist forest warriors.

There is a stark difference between this collection and the Red Label simply because of the delicacy of the fabrics and embellishments, the way in which the designs hold a distinct difference in concept and the use of lace and mesh. The dresses and gowns freely flow, leaving a serene presence in the models wake, to captivate the audience; they’re similar to a beautifully designed Roman toga.

Bold red African floral prints are stunningly incorporated within the line which flow as elegantly as the rest. Embellishments are few and far between however the strong lace detailing (is that leather or velvet?) are intricate and other pieces are complete with mirrored reflector embellishments which catch the light in a dazzling way.

It’s impossible to not bear reference to the footwear completing the looks elegantly shown off; some are tan calf-high gladiator sandals whilst others wear ribbon tied wedges, wide heeled Mary Jane’s or heels that resonate something typically stylised in the 1970’s disco era with the bevelled curve.

The strong daintiness and delicate pieces contrast heavily with the strong and powerful themes that the collection holds for its view on the modern day woman which juxtapose exceptionally.

There’s nothing about these collections that seem overdone, unwanted or anything less than sheer brilliance. But at the end of the day, would you expect any less from one of the greatest designers to have graced the fashion world?

Written: January 2014

#vivienne westwood #fashion writing #fashion writer #fashion

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starfiresupernova · 6 years

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11 Questions

I was tagged by both @jiyamarrii & @chasethesun18 to do this, so I’ll be answering 22 questions. But I love these things so I’m totally okay with it LOL. Anyway, let’s get started!

Laura’s Questions

1. Marvel or DC? TV-Verse or Film-Verse? Why? — The easy answer to this question is that I like all superhero stuff. I tend to watch more Marvel, but I’m a big fan of both. MCU? Yes please. Smallville? Sign me up. I haven’t watched the Marvel Netflix shows yet, but I really want to. Cloak and Dagger on Freeform is pretty good so far! I watched the first two seasons of Arrow and most of the Flash, but since the CW added all the other DC shows to their programming, I’ve been a little overwhelmed, but they’re still good! So yeah, long story short, I like it all :)

2. I’m looking for new TV shows to watch. Recommend me a show and tell me why you think I’d like it. — I can’t remember if you’ve watched Gilmore Girls or not, but I recommend it to everyone who wants something funny and heartwarming, but heartbreaking sometimes, too. Lorelai is my SPIRIT ANIMAL. Otherwise, I recommend Lost in Space on Netflix if you’re into Sci-Fi stuff (it’s also funny, and the characters are amazing). One Tree Hill is amazing if you’re into soapy teen dramas (like 90210 or Gossip Girl). The awesome thing about OTH though, is that it’s obviously drama, but it deals with other serious topics and it isn’t bitchy like GG. The characters are all different in their own way, and it’s my favorite teen drama show of all time.

3. Watch a random episode of Timeless. Tell me your opinions on the episode and I’ll try to guess which episode you watched. — Okay, so I know each episode like the back of my hand, so let’s go. It’s my second favorite episode of the entire show. The music is A+. (You’ve probably already guessed it by now lolol.) It has one of my top 5 favorite Lucy outfits. I’ve seen this episode so many times I’m pretty sure I can almost recite it word for word (and I’m not sorry about that).

4. Do you have a skin care routine? If yes, what is it? — Not really. I don’t use much on my skin to tell you the truth. I use the St. Ives Blackhead Clearing green tea scrub every other day, and once in a while I’ll use a Biore charcoal pore strip. Other than that I don’t use anything.

5. What are your favorite pair of shoes? Why? — This might sound completely childish, but I LOVE my shoes that have daisies on them. I got them at Payless, and they’re Minnie Mouse brand, but they’re black with little daisies printed on them and I love them so much. I need a new pair soon because they’re a few years old and they’re worn, but I love them to death.

6. What is your phone wallpaper? What is your desktop wallpaper? — My lock screen on my phone is a picture I found on Google Images of Timeless. It’s blue and has the Time Team and the Timeless logo with a cloud. My home screen on my phone is a cotton candy-esque background. My desktop wallpaper is the Timeless edit I made with the Taylor lyric “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it.”

7. If you could have dinner with one person, dead, alive, or fictional, who would it be and why? — I really want to say Lorelai Gilmore (or anyone from Gilmore Girls, honestly..) for this one. Eating at Luke’s Diner? Yes. Please. I’m all in.

8. What’s your favorite smell? Why? — This is very oddly specific, but I have this notebook that I got for Christmas last year. And every book/notebook/paper smells good, but THIS NOTEBOOK. It’s my favorite kind of paper smell. I know, it’s weird, but it’s amazing. Otherwise I love lemon, vanilla, and peppermint scents and the smell of the grill when we grill hamburgers/hot dogs.

9. Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are they? Do you regret any of them? — I do not have any tattoos, but I want to get one in the near future.

10. What is your horoscope for today? — Jun 11, 2018 - You enjoy caring for others and you intervene regularly in their lives to guide them. Ironically, today you're the one who needs advice. You'll probably need to get away from it all in order to get a clear view of your own life, Leo. You could even decide to make the necessary arrangements for a trip abroad.

11. Beards: Yes or No? — UM YES.

(OBVIOUSLY I NEEDED TO INCLUDE WYATT’S MAGICAL BEARD)

I also love Xavier from No Tomorrow, Hugh Jackman, and John Krasinski. Their beards are also pretty magical.

Ryan’s Questions

1. If a book becomes a movie do you read it or watch it first? — Most of the time I don’t realize a movie was a book until after I see it. And then I always end up liking the movie better. (IE the Twilight saga) I always try to read the book first, but sometimes I’ll just watch the movie.

2. What’s your favorite Disney movie? — OOH OKAY LET’S GO. Tangled is my favorite all-animated Disney movie. Meet the Robinsons comes at a second. Enchanted is my all-time favorite Disney movie EVER. My Favorite Martian is my favorite all-non-animated Disney movie. Also The Princess Diaries comes at a close second.

3. If you could have one superpower what would it be? — If I got to choose I would want to have telekinesis. Matilda has solidified that dream LOL.

4. Do you believe in soul mates? — I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. I don’t like to think that there’s only ONE person in the entire world that I’m meant to be with, and that they’re my other half. I mean, it’s a nice concept, but also I feel like I would just be too worried that I won’t ever meet my soulmate because it could literally be anyone in the entire universe. I’m meh on the subject.

5. What’s your happiest memory? — Honestly I think my most happy memories are when I was really little, like in early elementary school? Like, ages 5-11 is when I think I was most happy. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy now and whatever, but I have more responsibility now and I was more carefree back then. One memory that sticks out is Christmas of 2010. I got my DSi XL and I was at my grandparents house with all of my cousins. We played around on the DS and took pictures, and I still have them saved on it. The very first picture I ever took on it. It was just such a happy time for me, and I love thinking back on it.

6. Most embarrassing memory? — I threw up in front of my entire classroom in 4th grade. It was terrible. And it happened so long ago, but I still can’t get over the fact that there are people my age who saw me throw up on the floor of our classroom. Nope. Let me go hide forever LOL.

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? — I don’t really like to plan that far ahead into the future, but in five years I’d like to be moved out of my parents’ house and working on getting my book published. (I’m still working on writing it at the moment, so hopefully I’ll be done with it by then and in the process of finding it a home.)

8. Who is/has been the most influential person in your life? — I have to go with my parents on this one. But only personality-wise. I’m not interested in what my parents do for a living, but I try to model my work-ethic and values after them. I’ve obviously grown my own personal tastes, but I see more of myself in them every day and I’m very proud of that.

9. If you could time travel to the start of this year and tell yourself something what would you tell yourself? — You won’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay. You’ll be pressured, but take things at your own pace. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to figure things out, no matter what everyone is telling you. You’ll get to where you want to be, you just have to take your time, and set your own pace.

10. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? — Wow, okay, this is going to sound lame. Are y’all ready? I stole a toy camera from Goodwill when I was, like, 6. I wanted it but I didn’t think my dad would let me, so I hid it in my coat pocket and never told anyone. That was literally the first thing that came to mind..

11. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? — I love that I don’t waver in my enjoyment of things. My sister mainly, always makes fun of me for wearing what I wear, for reading, and for listening to the kind of music that I listen to, but I’m very proud of all of those things and I don’t let it bother me. Yeah, it gets annoying when she tells me my taste in music sucks, but I will very happily listen to Two Weeks Late by Ashley Monroe at a high volume and sing along proudly. No shame. As Jessica Day so proudly states, “I break for birds! I rock a lot of polka-dots. I have touched glitter in the past twenty-four hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. That’s just weird and it freaks me out. And I’m sorry I don’t like Murphy Brown, and I hate your pantsuit; I wish it had ribbons on it or something to just make it slightly cuter. And that doesn’t mean I‘m not smart and tough and strong.”

Thanks for the tag, guys! This was fun :)

#personal #get to know me #tags

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prettycooregrey · 4 years

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So after setting up a 100+ plugin modlist for Raka, I started their official Skyrim SE run with SkygerfalI. This is really long. Like, really really long. And it’s packed with spoilers, so my fingers are crossed that the cut works on mobile because otherwise I am so, SO sorry to mobile users.

Links: Legendary - Special Edition

What a hell of a mod. It was so much easier to swallow than Daggerfall proper, I’ll give it that! For one, the 3D map in Daggerfall drives me batty. I can’t read it at all, and the samey graphics in every dungeon make them really hard to navigate. For another, Daggerfall notably averts the “take your time” trope where players are allowed to fuck off and do whatever they want while the main quest stays politely paused in the background - almost every single quest is timed, and exceeding the time limit is an automatic fail. It’s possible to lock yourself out of the main quest this way.

Thankfully, the Skygerfall mod recreates all the main quest dungeons with a significantly more helpful Skyrim-style local map. The mod page describes the dungeons as hand crafted, and... well, I’d personally describe it as LOVINGLY put together. The attention to detail is exquisite, and it absolutely feels like a recreation of the dungeons. In fact, it’s so carefully and thoroughly remade that for the most part, the original walkthroughs on UESP came in handy for the few places I got stuck (ahem... Direnni Tower). There’s so many twisting corridors, right angles, and those big huge pyramid-esque centerpieces. My unabashed favorites are the little diagonal rooms hidden within other small rooms, tucked into corners in and of themselves. My own playthrough of Daggerfall made me look forward to those spaces as good places to rest or find loot.

There is not much going on outside the cities or dungeons though! Since it was, for the most part, a single dev putting the whole thing together in their spare time, it’s just the main quest. Even the main towns are largely empty, save for tavern owners (who act as general good merchants), a blacksmith in Daggerfall proper, and any NPCs directly related to the main questline. Ironically, Scourg Barrow is one of the most populated places in the entire game, if only by volume of nonhostile NPCs! The palaces also have merchants and guards around, and there’s a... cheerful little kid over at Wayrest who would love to meet your Agent.

That means no questlines for any of the side factions, very few extra merchants to buy your high volume of crap (though you wont actually need more than one or two at a time), no side dungeons to explore, and nothing in the landscape between the map markers. There’s not even any generic NPCs to populate the towns, and almost no interiors.

Still, it’s entirely worth playing, if you want the basic runthrough of Daggerfall’s main quest in a familiar, modern engine. Particular props goes to some of the scenery and levels. Where there’s very little going on outside of your quest targets, the places that have been built are stunning. Shedungent’s exterior in specific enchanted me, looking exactly like a medieval castle with plenty of nooks and crannies to poke into (though no loot, unfortunately... not that I need any extra with how much garbage I haul out of those dungeons). Another particular detail that I loved were... pigs, actually. I loved the pigs. There’s a few dungeons that contain pigs, which existed in Daggerfall.

I love them. They’re darling.

I dunno, the fact that Oracus0 put so much time and effort into making sure that Skygerfall was a true to the original as possible, down to the animals passively hanging out, really brought me into it. Sure, I wish there weren’t giant scorpions in any game ever, but I can also appreciate that since they were in the original, they were there in Skygerfall (and that they dropped a Raka certified safe alchemical ingredient). And who doesn’t get excited when they see the loot pile model tucked behind a locked door?

I also ADORED - spoiler alert - Aetherius, which turned the game into a full-fledged puzzle platformer. Note to anybody playing through the Room of Fire? You can and will fall off if you’re not careful! But the scenery there is also gorgeous, with a stunning backdrop of swirling stars and galaxies, hellfire, and a wonderfully dapper Sheogorath (whose voice actor does a great job, by the way, of holding true to Sheogorath’s canon voice).

Bonus points for having (and I must emphasize) FULL VOICE ACTING. Every NPC available in the game has a voice. All of the custom NPCs have custom voice acting, and every voice actor did a real bang up job. There wasn’t a single character I encountered whose voice didn’t match them.

It’s also way more... cartoony? Than Skyrim, and it shows a lot in places where custom and vanilla 3D assets were used right next to each other. There’s a lot of blocky, and almost plastic-y walls, floors, sconces, etc that made some of the rough-and-tumble stuff stick out, but it’s not actually enough to take you out of the game unless you’re a really picky bastard imo. It works really well for being a faithful recreation of Daggerfall, which looked like... well. This:

I had a habit of taking pictures of any cool animals I saw in Daggerfall, especially if I haven’t seen them in TES before. Speaking of this awesome camel picture, not to fear if you’re worried about hauling all your crap out of the dungeons like I am (my partner has a hard time watching me play Skyrim with the way I lug out everything that isn’t nailed down to hawk later)...

There’s a mount waiting for you near Sentinel!

...(: That’s right. You get a camel. No need to buy it, it’s not tagged as theft (as of 11/12/19, a little under a month post initial release). It works exactly like a horse - hop on and it’ll help you bounce between map markers, even if you’re overencumbered by several hundred pounds of loose swords, gemstones, potions, and your enemies’ underwear. It looks AMAZING, and though you kind of clip through his hump a little bit, it’s again not really an issue unless you’re overtly picky.

The only thing I absolutely cannot stand is... mythril.

Mythril in this mod is... blue. The armor is gray, but the weapons and shield are blue. Not a silver blue or a dark slate blue in the way you’d expect from something metallic. No, I’m talking about Hawaiian Punch Blue Typhoon, I’m talking blue raspberry Airheads, I’m talking about Lapis lazuli from Minecraft and/or Steven Universe, Cornflower Blue Crayola, “her cerulean orbs” fuckin BLUE. That was the ONLY thing that really stuck in my craw. Raka is an archer, but in the event of an emergency they dual-wield daggers and for a period the best one I had on hand aside from the ebony dagger was mythril and I hated it. I resented it. Every time Raka had to get into close quarters I grumbled with distaste as soon as that goddamn Manic Panic deep dream knife popped out on my screen. I replaced it with adamantium as soon as I was able to.

Everything else was copacetic! As with the set dressing, a lot of the custom armor and weapons were kind of cartoony and might stick out in Skyrim proper, but they’re pretty charming in that way. If for no other reason than collection purposes, I took one of everything with me to Skyrim at the end of the questline with the intent to maybe display it in one of Raka’s player homes. Especially the adamantium, which out of everything fits in the best with vanilla Skyrim’s assets (as far as I can tell, don’t quote me on that, please!).

Again, it’s a very lovingly made tribute to the original game, with a lot of time and effort put into it. A lot of modder resources were used in order to achieve this end, and what an end it is. For all of the places where there might be criticism, it’s still a fantastic piece of work that deserves a lot of praise and appreciation, especially since it was largely a single dev working and learning by themselves to put it together. It’s still hours of content to work through, having taken me about 4 days to get through via my playstyle, even when it primarily involved jumping between map markers and delving into dungeons. God only knows I’d have never gotten to the actual main quest of Daggerfall in the original engine, and likely not even in Daggerfall Unity, as I was too busy messing around, getting headaches from the procedurally generated dungeons, and trying to climb the ranks of the Mage’s Guild and Thieves Guild. Not to say that that isn’t a fun and completely valid way to play the game. But Skygerfall allowed me to play through the actual main quest, kept me engaged with voiced characters and a streamlined series of events, and a thorough and faithful recreation.

A lot of people mentioned wanting more stuff between the towns and cities currently in the mod, but personally, going forward, I’d love to see what already exists be expanded. I’d love to see more shop interiors, some generic NPCs to chat with or ask about rumors from (or even just to fill out the space! I’m not picky!), and maybe some basic structure for some of the guilds.

That being said, it’s still a complete mod in and of itself. It has all the components anyone could reasonably ask for. It has its dungeons, it has its armors and weapons, it has custom spells, potions, and ingredients. It makes use of monsters from the Mihail mods, populating the underground with lots of scary and lore-appropriate foes to fight. It has very little to explore outside of that, but still offers a LOT, and I was able to enjoy the main quest of Daggerfall in a way that was comfortable and easily playable for myself, which is more than can be said for the clunky DOS the original game is built in. I would not be mad if Oracus0 decided to close it up, call it good, support bugs for a while, and moved on. They’ve done plenty in the way of Skygerfall, and though I’d love to see more I’m also incredibly happy with what I got! I’m pleased as punch, got to roleplay my little idiot moron bosmer in their original context, and then was able to seamlessly integrate them into the world of Skyrim (via Live Another Life, which is supported by Skygerfall) to enjoy the rest of their modlist. I can’t recommend it enough, especially if you want to get a feel for Daggerfall with some of the comfort and convenience of a better engine and less stingy limitations.

#tes #daggerfall #skyrim #mods #skyrim mods #daggerfall mods #ian plays: daggerfall #ian plays: skyrim #chatterbox.txt #oc: raka

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