#us gay people can't have shit in this house FUCK
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Man what the FUCK was that ending I am so fucking mad
#sammy rambles#good omens#good omens 2 spoilers#literally had to pull an ofmd I'M SO UPSET#'quiet gentle and romantic' MY ASS#@ Neil Gaiman start counting your days#us gay people can't have shit in this house FUCK
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it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
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i am going to Fucking Scream
#>:( i guess i like him now this sucks#also i already sent him a friend playlist with songs that are like ''snap out of ur stupid crush buddy''#and ''not gonna date'' songs which is like funny i guess but >:(#also i sent him the ''how do you get beautiful women to smoke weed with you in seven words'' post and based on his reaction#he seems still into me?? like even included a fuckin ;)#also i slid down an entire fuckin hill tonight in the dark because all the snow froze solid and turned to very painful ice#it took an HOUR to get back in my house#with help from my mom and brother who had to tie a rope around a tree stump and throw it down#also the sheep were ALSO skidding on the ice which was concerning because they're dumb enough to break legs doing that#i used more muscles trying to move in my own backyard without hitting a wild animal that i saw a couple days ago or a tree#than i have in the fucking WEEKS i have done of ballet classes#but back to the guy! he's also got a date coming up with a goth chick that used to do ballet#how the FUCK am i supposed to compete with that? does NOT help that i also started nerding out about how strong ballerinas get#like i KNOW we would not work out for multiple reasons one of which i'm still catholic but also like. i'm afraid of men ig?#and i didn't think it was a big thing but w the anniversary last week i was like 'i must be feeling like shit for NO REASON#IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN THAT BAD I'LL READ THE OLD MESSAGES TO CONFIRM IT WASN'T' uh besties it was WORSE#and like i know he's into consent and shit (which is SO weird to say because everyone should be) but like. smsjskdjdhfk the fuck#and i can't just SAY THAT#and it's not like w people you've been gay w since high school#because then u can be like 'hey i like u i know u like me but i don't wanna do anything about it'#and like you'll both be sad but also get it
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"Eddie Munson! I didn't think you'd show up!" Tommy H exclaimed, looking shocked as he came over to shake Eddie's hand like they were old friends instead of old enemies.
"How could I miss the twenty year reunion?" He asked.
"You didn't seem to have any trouble missing the ten year reunion," Tommy pointed out.
"Yeah, well, ten years isn't enough time for people to lose their egos. Last time I set foot in Hawkins, people were still hunting me for sport."
"Uh. Yeah. Listen, man, I'm actually really glad you're here. I want to apologize for the way we treated you back then. Not just with Chrissy's death, but in general. We were just dumbass kids."
"Yeah, appreciate that," Eddie recited for the seventh time this night. Whatever. Eddie's life was amazing and all these fuckers looked rough as hell and pretty pathetic, so let them have their little breakthrough moment or whatever this was for them. Eddie didn't lose anything by letting these folks think they had become better people. Maybe they had, who knows, Eddie couldn't care less.
"No, really, I feel so- holy shit, is that Steve Harrington?"
"Oh, yeah, he's with me."
"He's with you? Like, as in…"
"Hmm? Oh, no, we aren't actually gay, we just got stuck playing a really long game of gay chicken. I thought he'd give up by now, it's been twenty years."
"Ha ha, that's a good one. I can't believe Steve Harrington is gay."
"Like I said, he's not. We are both just really competitive. We have three kids and two cats and a really nice house together, he's a great roommate but I know he'll crack first."
Tommy's smile wavered.
"If you don't believe me, you can ask him yourself."
"No, I, uh…"
"Anyways," Eddie said, patting him on the shoulder and taking his leave, "I'd love to stay and chat about how great my life is so you don't feel so bad about your past self, but I see other knuckleheads waiting to apologize to me and I'd rather get it over with quickly so I can go fuck my roommate in the school bathroom in the hopes that he finally admits I win."
Tommy stood staring after Eddie, completely baffled. Then he hurried over to his former friends along the wall.
"Babe, why is everyone looking at us weird?"
Eddie glanced around as if he hadn't noticed everyone watching them and shrugged.
"Standard homophobia, probably."
Steve sighed.
"No, I know what homophobia looks like. You did something. What did you do?"
"Hmm? Oh, uh, I might have… told them we were playing gay chicken."
Steve groaned. "Eddie, you didn't! Ugh, this is the elementary school all over again! You know I still have to see those teachers every day at pick up, right? No matter how much I explain you were joking I can tell they don't completely believe me and it's been three years!"
"Yeah, but you don't ever have to see any of these folks again after tonight," Eddie pointed out, face full of mischievous glee.
Steve sighed and rolled his eyes. Any attempt at true anger was pointless in the face of Eddie's playful charm.
"Fine. Let's go grab each other's butts while we slow dance to confuse them more, I guess."
"That's the spirit!"
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Heyyyy I always love you fics🤭🤭 I would like to request a Lip Gallagher X Top Male Reader. This is just if requests are open and if you have the time🤭
-💋
.Hiii Love! Thank you for loving my fics! I love lip with every single bone in my body let me tell you. Since day one I have loved that man. I'm making sfw and nsfw headcanons!
LIP GALLAGHER X TOP MALE READER
-You are most definitely his bisexual awaking.
-He'll quit smoking and drinking if you just say the word. I mean he'll go completely sober and clean if you'd just ask.
-Meet you in the school bathrooms during randoms times in the days just to kiss/ makeout or just spend time together in there.
-Likes to ramble about you to Ian. He'll talk about you to him for hours on end until he can't even say anything about you anymore.
-Doing reckless shit together most of the time yall hangout.
-Gives you an extra key to the house.
-Likes to sneak inside your house even though he could have just knocked.
-Him not giving a shit about homophobic remarks people make about the two of you.
-Tries to keep you steer clear from Frank. I mean Frank already ruined his whole life he doesn't want him to ruin his love life now.
-Wouldn't mind leaving this place and starting a new one while having a family with you. Its something that he frequently dreams about and hopes to have with you one day.
-He cherishes the days when you two just lay in bed together not even talking or doing anything.
-Making out in the living room inside the Gallagher house while crazy shit just plays in the back. The two of you are just in your own little world while everything outside of it is just hell.
-While Lip was in college you'd two would be in his dorm room studying with each other. And having breaks here and there making out.
-He secretly loves it when you walk him home especially when it's night.
-Loves pda.
-Secretly to be treated like a prince or arm candy. He likes it when you brag and compliment him in front of your friends.
-If you have a job he'll be there waiting for you to be done working. Like he'll just walk around wherever you work or just follow you around as you work like a lost puppy.
-Tries to keep you out of the family Gallagher drama.
NSFW Headcanons!
-After the two of you first fucked he was completely shocked and satisfied in the same time.
-Loves it when you man handle him. It's just something about being thrown around that he loves.
-He absolutely loves sucking your dick. Hes infatuated with it and tries to suck it anytime. And especially during risky times.
-He's into a lot of things. Like degrading, thrill of being caught, size difference, choking and rough. I mean can you blame him.
-Tries to act dominant outside of the relationship. Tries to act like he's the man/ top of the relationship, but in reality he's a slut who likes to be used and treated like trash.
-Rides your cock like there's no tomorrow. He loves holding and grabbing onto your chest as he does it.
-VERY VOCAL.
-When hes with a woman hes mild he can be quiet and loud sometimes, but with you hes LOUD. He's moaning out every cuss word in the book as he screams about how good you make him feel.
-Very much into cigarette after sex or just smoking a blunt during it.
-While he smokes he'll just blow smoke on your dick as he is about to give you head.
-Loves to call you anything you'd like. Just tell him and hours later in bed hes moaning out the name like his life depends on it.
-Likes to say you took his gay virginity.
-He likes to grind his ass down on your cock whenever he can. He'll just do it out of nowhere.
-Likes to jerk you off during the most random and worst times. You two could just be in the train sitting down in the seats he'll randomly just move his hand to your crotch palming you through your pants.
-He loves facials.
-Loves kissing randomly during sex. Something about that just turns him on so much.
-He loves dirty talk. And especially just randomly at times. You just leaning over to him and whispering the most filthy dirtiest things in his ear.
-Loves it when you mark him. It can be bite marks, hickeys hand prints you name it he loves them with all his soul. Likes bragging about it and showing people like its nothing.
THE END
#lip gallagher#lip gallagher x reader#lip gallagaher x male reader#x male reader#male reader#shamless#shameless x male reader#shamless x reader#x top male reader#x dom male reader
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all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens
First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct:
Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!
Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.
Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.
Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)
Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.
Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent-
When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.
Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.
Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident
Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.
Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).
Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS
Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.
Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.
Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.
Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)
Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.
Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.
Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).
Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.
Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.
Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?
Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.
Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.
Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.
Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.
Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.
Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.
Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane
Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.
Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.
Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.
Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.
Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.
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Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.
Truly amazed at the people whose big takeaway from that thread is "you hate Pete Buttigieg" like buddy did you not... read... all of it?
I genuinely don't give a shit about Pete himself. If you think this is about Democratic self-devouring or whatever the fuck, please mentally substitute Ellen or George Takei or Rachel Maddow or your favorite Other Respectable Gay. I hear some dude named Rubin is even a conservative who is getting turned on for adopting a baby? I don't know who he is and I don't care (do not tell me, I do not care) but if it makes you feel better, substitute any of those names.
I think the ones that actually make me sad are the people who keep insisting that 70% of people support gay marriage, and that I'm just 'acting out my trauma', and we won't see things turn against us, we're perfectly safe now, how dare I say that cishets won't put themselves out for us when it counts, it's different now.
Honey, 99% of people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today, and what they'll support when it doesn't cost them anything has nothing to do with what they'll support when it does. Those of us telling you 'we were abandoned before, and we were the ones who took care of us then' aren't telling you because we're incorrigibly bitter misanthropes. I am annoyingly hopeful, actually, and in love with humanity and the beauty of life. Seriously, I have to write poems about it because I love the universe and all of humanity so fucking much. One of the things I love about humanity is its fragility and its uncertainty. I love the ways in which we fail.
And humans, over and over again, turn our eyes away from tragedy.
If you are lucky enough to have cishet friends and family who will put themselves out for you when it really matters, that is fucking fantastic. That's not nearly universal, and I'm afraid that you're going to find out sooner rather than later that it's far less universal for you than you'd like to believe.
At the end of the day, you can believe me or not about all of this. You can say that I'm just a bitter old transfag, an angry old dyke, a traumatized old queer if it lets you sleep better at night, if it allows you to just close your eyes and say 'this is all going to be fine, because 70% of people support marriage equality!' and get some rest. I can't make you pay attention.
And the thing is? I'd love to be wrong. I would absolutely love for every cishet who has ever said "one of them" or said "well, I mean, I just don't want to see it, they can do whatever they want in private" or whatever to turn out to be the raddest fucking ally the world has ever seen. I know it can happen! My in-laws went from being Baptist homophobes to getting weekly chatty update phone calls from the two trans women refugees from Latin America who they housed and helped get their papers sorted and who are now living in New York and call them Mom and Dad. Like, truly, it can fucking happen!
But you can't count on that from the vast majority of people, because when it comes down to it, most people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today. You're much more likely to be able to count on someone with a dog in the hunt.
More than that, though, the point of that essay -- which, when people miss it, they miss it so hard that it feels deliberate, honestly -- is that all of our bullshit infighting doesn't mean dick. I've been saying that for years, begging people to think inclusively about our community, begging people to stop all the bullshit infighting because I could see this shit fucking coming, you didn't need to be Cassandra to see it coming but sometimes I felt like I was screaming until my throat was horse, the fucking tsunami is coming, it's coming, motherfuckers, can't you see the way the water is pulling back?
And here we are, and all the arguing about whether bi lesbians are "valid" doesn't matter, and everyone's attempt to gatekeep butch and femme doesn't matter, and everyone's arguments about whether neopronouns are bad doesn't fucking matter because we are all just fags, dykes and trannies to them, they do not care for one fucking second about any of this. None of them care for one second about our infighting. No one is going to stop and ask you what your orientation is so they can call you the right slur when they're gaybashing you, kids. They. Don't. Care.
So now here we are, and people are acting like the point of the essay is that I wanted to call one particular dude a fag, rather than that it doesn't matter how perfectly primed you are to fit into Respectable WASP Society, it is your queerness which is objectionable. It is your gayness. It is your transness. It is your bisexuality, your asexuality, your lesbianism. You will never be granted rights and respectability. You have to defend your rights, and stop giving a shit about respectability as a metric of whether or not someone deserves them.
I mean, for fuck's sake, some Iowa voters tried to withdraw their caucus support once they realized that Pete was gay. It literally fucking happened. There's video. Someone they supported above all the other candidates in the Iowa primary was immediately disqualified for them to the point where they tried to retract their support the minute they found out he was gay.
That's the fucking point. I don't care who you use as your Proxy Respectable Gay.
Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.
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☆Abby comforting FEM reader after nightmare☆
Hi! I would like to mention rq this was a request but I'm actually super duper stupid and accidentally deleted the request.. I absolutely LOVED this idea. <3 sorry for lack of posts! writers block tbh.kjfkldsjkljsk
Use of Y/N a few times, fluff, Y'know.. the usual. (Not proof read and probably many typos, bare with me.)
For the girls and the gays.. Men DNI! (Please. <3)
-This was one of the first nights "away" from Abby, your girlfriend. Abby was off at work for one of her first nightshifts this month at the office. Abby knew this would be hard on both of you so she promised she would put in her best effort to keep you happy, even with these new shift hours.
All day you felt crazy without Abby's touch.. Her hugs from behind, neck kisses and nuzzles. Hell, you're still trying to savor the soft kisses and hug Abby gave you before she left for work that morning.
As much as you do miss Abby, you can't even lie about how much she makes.. Because fuck, does her job pay well.
Abby spoils the shit out of you whenever she can, She never spoiled you in that rich people bullshit and fancy brands stuff but truly, if you wanted any of that she would buy it for you. Abby liked to spend her money on good memories.. EX: Trips, Dinners, occasional video games to play with you.. But you get it. She loves you and works hard so you're happy.
As much as money was important for bills and taxes it's not what you really needed. What you really needed was her physical touch.. Why did she have to take these night shifts??
You sat in bed trying to pass time by watching shitty cable tv, you couldn't even watch the current Netflix show you and Abby were watching together or she'd get upset, even though that's all you wanted right now. To make Abby upset, she made you upset? Why not get her upset for taking these shifts. Of course you could never betray Abby like that though so...push aside those evil thoughts Y/n.
All you could think about was the sound of Abby coming home.. Her coat and keys being placed on the counter with her boots dropping with a thud in the kitchen floor.
You weren't lazy all day of course, you did all that house wife shit like cleaning the house, making dinner, and buying groceries. Abby of course appreciated your work you did for her but she thought you were so lonely when she's not home.. "You need friends Y/n, please go join a book club or go to the gym.. you can make friends--"
When you sat in bed you couldn't even sleep, you haven't slept alone since you and Abby had first started dating.. You eventually fell asleep with Abby's pillow, inhaling her pine soap scent as you slept with another pillow between your legs as a replacement for Abby.. As much as it was embarrassing for how much you needed Abby it somewhat helped.
As you were sleeping Abby had finally came home, the click on the front door was quiet, Abby knew you were asleep with how dark the house was and how you didn't get up from the couch or something to hug her. The only Light she could see was the lamp in the living room and the Tv light from your guy's shared bedroom.
Abby had gone to bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face off and change into some pajamas.
The longer you slept that's when your shitty re-appearing dream had appeared when you were stressed. Abby knew too, she heard your little mumbles and saw the little beads of sweat on your forehead..
"Y/n? baby?" She whispered to you, not to frighten you but to hopefully wake you up slowly. You didn't get up. Of course Abby had to have a heavy sleeping girlfriend.
Abby got in bed behind you, wrapping her forearm around you, pulling you into her chest. She tucked her right leg between both of yours and smelled your hair. God she missed the smell of you and the house. Abby rubbed soft circles on your back and thigh to comfort you incase you woke up.. and you did, horrified.
Gasping you woke up in a pool of your sweat and Abby's arms around you..
"Hey.. Hey calm down Y/n.. it's me.. I'm right here.." Abby whispered into your ear and kept trying to calm you down.
"It was just a bad dream.. I'm home now.." Abby gave soft kisses on your neck instantly calming you down. Finally.. Abby was home and that's all that mattered..
"Missed me huh sweet girl?.." Abby rocked you in her arms as you just turned around and wrapped your own arms around her.
"Missed you so much Abigail.. Please don't take those night shifts.. Please.." You begged her in your sleepy, teary eyed voice.
"Oh Y/n... I'll see what I can do princess." Abby ran her big fingers through your hair and kissed you softly, her minty breath made you sigh contently.
"Goodnight Y/n.." Abby hushed you to sleep again, and you did. Perfectly. ☆
Ahh ok hi I know I haven't posted in a few days but trust me.. I've been writing stuff!!!
☆ SMALL NOTE: Please stop sending me pure vents in the anonymous asking thing! It doesn't bother me but I'd feel bad about posting about it y'know? Just give me a general request! That's it! ☆
Sleep well!
#tlou fic#abby tlou#abby the last of us#fanfic#lesbian#wlw#abby anderson x reader#tlou fanfiction#abby anderson#comfort#cuddling#romantic#abby x you#abby anderson fluff#abby anderson x female reader#tlou2#tlou#anonymous
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Would love to see your take on 23 or 28 good potential for fluff or angst or maybe both?
I am such a fluffy bitch! I can't help myself. If I get another one of these I will do angst because I need to work on that. But for now fluffy bullshit is my safe place <3
But I will say this tickled my uh not sfw brain, so watch out for a possible ao3 E addition the other prompt. Maybe! (Probably. the potenial of "Come and get your fix" is insane) But this is "Was it worth it?"
~
Honestly? You'd think Steve would be used to this by now. He was just not the guy that anyone wanted to be with. First there was Nancy, the worst heartbreak he ever had. Then there was Robin, which was better but still kind of sucked. Until Steve realized that oh, wow, this girl is literally my long lost sister. So with that, he had to admit that he was pretty grateful that she was gay as hell. The alternative would have been an absolute disaster. But even before all of that, girls just didn't like being with him. Or at least staying with him.
He was too much of a hopeless romantic, too clingy, too weird. He always fell beneath expectations. People expected him to be cool, suave, to actually match the whole "King Steve" label and be the high school dream boat that he should be. But...Steve just wasn't like that. He wanted too much too fast, always opening up and sharing shit that made people uncomfortable. That made them pull away and find someone less annoying. So he'd retreat back into the popular boy thing, be charming and a little dickish, find a new girlfriend, and start the process all over again.
People just... didn't like going there with him. Not when there were better options. It felt like the only one who could really handle him was Robin. And lately... Eddie Munson.
Eddie Munson who was currently in the middle of crushing all of his feelings into the dust.
He thought...Steve wasn't sure what he thought. But it felt like over the past year they had been moving somewhere, to something more. They were friends by circumstance, from all the Upside Down shit and then with Steve being Dustin's chauffer to the hospital for visits. It had all been so simple at first. They would all talk as a group, it would be fun, and then they'd be on there way until Dustin called him up next. Until one day Steve just went by himself. He wasn't quite sure why he did, but the bright smile that lit up Eddie's face when he saw him made sure that he'd keep doing it.
And they would talk for a long time. For a stupid amount of time honestly, all the way until the nurses kicked him out for getting Eddie too rowdy and excited. But it didn't stop when he got out of the hospital. Steve just started going to house, helping him and his uncle out as they got to know each other more. It's not like he had anything else going on. He just never expected Eddie Munson of all people to slowly become the center of his life.
They just... clicked. In a way that no one had expected, least of all them. They were so different, but they also weren't. Not in the ways that mattered. Besides, Steve liked all the play fights and debates they would have over music and movies. He liked ribbing each other over their taste in clothes and their mutual inability to get girls. He loved it even more when Eddie came out to him in the silliest possible way.
"I can't get girls because I'm gay as fuck and they can sense it. You can't get girls because every straight woman that lives here is apparently stupid. Can being too hot ruin your dating life?"
At the time it had made Steve laugh. It also stirred... something in his chest. Something warm and nice that he didn't have time to examine, not when he was too busy reassuring Eddie that yes, he's okay with it. But no, girls couldn't smell it on him. Not that Eddie cared but Steve actually had 0 clue on why no one was interested in him. Just because he was gay didn't mean the girls of Hawkins high knew that. Why weren't they fawning over him? He was so freaking pretty, and creative and fun and...and that's how Steve realized he wasn't as straight as he thought he was.
And because Steve was Steve that meant that he had to make things weird. He started doing stupid shit, like staring at Eddie's perfect mouth all the time, wearing his clothes with permission, just to smell him throughout the day. They started giving each other little nick names, stupid shit that was so close to being romantic. Like sunshine and angel. They started sleeping in the same bed together, spending more nights with each other than apart. Steve would wake up with Eddie wrapped around him, clinging to him like...like they were something more.
And it felt good. Comfortable and safe. And Steve really thought that this had been different. That whatever was going on with him had to be going on with Eddie too.
But now here he was, standing shell-shocked in his kitchen while his very good friend was trying to talk to him about his crush. His crush that had nothing to do with Steve. It wasn't exactly shocking that Steve had made all of that flirtation up in his head. It wouldn't be the first time, he was just delusional like that.
But that didn't stop his heart from breaking when Eddie said, "So...there's this guy whose like, insanely hot? And I think he might be into me. But... I don't really know what to do about it."
Steve really did not want to hear about this. He didn't like it, the horrifying thought of Eddie getting a boyfriend. Because what partner would be cool with them cuddling up together in bed? Who would be down to have their boyfriend's creepy buddy hanging around them all the time? Calling them stupid shit like sunshine? It wasn't going to happen. And acknowledging that hurt...so much more than Steve had expected.
But Steve was a good friend. That was probably the only thing he had going for him. He'd get past it. He always did. He was just going to have to completely restructure the life he had built around Eddie. That's all.
He shoved his feelings back, smiling despite the fact that he felt like he was dying a little inside, "Oh yeah? Tell me about him."
Steve wasn't sure why he asked that. And the dreamy smiled on Eddie's face when he started talking wasn't helping, "He is just awesome dude. Total catch, an absolute sweetheart. And he just fits with me y'know? And, um, I think he feels the same way. But I'm not sure. I'm too much of a bitch to even ask if he's into dudes. I don't know if telling him is worth the risk."
Part of Steve wanted to be a real piece of shit with that. To tell him that yeah, it's not a good idea. He's probably straight and definitely wouldn't be good for him. They wouldn't love him like Steve could. But that didn't exactly count as being a good friend, did it?
Steve kept it all back, his smile tight when he said, "I think that sometimes the risk can be worth it. Do you think he's worth it?"
Eddie laughed, like Steve said something funny instead of trying to be sincere. But he was smiling, staring down at the counter as he fiddled with his rings, "If it worked out, it would probably be the best thing that ever happened to me."
Steve really really did not need to hear that. He could feel his eyes getting wet. He needed to wrap this shit up and send Eddie on his way to mystery man's house before he started crying, "If that's how you feel then go for it man. He'd be lucky to have you."
Steve's voice broke on the last word, something he tried to hide behind a cough. He just wanted this to be over already.
"I think I'd be lucky to have him," Eddie said with a shrug, "But... do you really think I should? Just go for it?"
"Yeah dude, why not tonight even? If he's not doing anything else you can just hop right over," Steve was willing to sign up for anything that got him out of here faster.
Eddie laughed again, completely out of place. He was circling the counter, coming to a stop in front of Steve with a nervous little smile, "You really think so?"
Why did he have to look at him like that? With this big doe eyes, filled with hope. It was silly, what Steve thought didn't even matter, this had nothing to do with him. But that little fact wasn't helping to clear the lump in his throat.
Steve nodded, not trusting himself with words. He expected Eddie to grin, thank him, and head out into the night to profess his love for some other dude. But that's not what happened.
Instead Eddie settled his hands on Steve's shoulders, giving them a firm squeeze. He looked nervous, but excited, his eyes boring right into Steve's. He took a deep breath before blurting, "I'm in love with you. Like full-blown. A-And it's probably way to early to be saying that but it's true Steve. It's been driving me fucking insane, because I like want you man. In very non-friendship ways."
Steve stared at him, his mouth hanging open like an idiot. He didn't-wait-huh? What? That can't be right. Eddie couldn't have been talking about him because he didn't-he wasn't-but... now that Steve thought about it, who the fuck else would he be talking about? How would he even have a chance to meet someone else when they were attached at the hip?
He felt so stupid. And so relived. He didn't even know what to do with himself, besides stare at Eddie like a moron. And his silence wasn't helping anything.
"I-um, thought that you might feel the same way since, y'know. Everything. And I know you're not gay-"
It was true, Steve wasn't gay. Not entirely but, "I can be gay for you. I'm so gay for you. I might as well be an Eddie-sexual at this point-"
Steve didn't have time to finish his cringy spiel, not when Eddie was pulling him closer and smashing their mouths together. Steve would thank him later for it, but for now he was too busy melting into his arms.
He felt weirdly good when they finally pulled away, almost like he was high. Just from one little kiss.
Eddie was grinning at him, looking at Steve like he was the best thing that ever happened to him. And what an insane thought that was huh? But Steve would take it.
Steve smiled up at him, taking the time to wrap his arms around Eddie's neck, "So...was it worth it? The risk?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, his hands wandering downward to rest on Steve's hips. And then Eddie was actually lifting him into the air and onto the counter, settling between his legs like the gesture didn't just send Steve into a tailspin. Why was that so hot? When did his nerdy friend (boyfriend?) become so smooth?
Eddie chuckled before leaning back in. He pressed a light kiss to the side of Steve's lips, sweet enough for him to know it would be burned into his memory until the end of time, "Like you have to ask."
#steddie ficlet#steddie#steddie fic#silly steddie#asks#eddie: i love you#Steve: I'm so gay for you bro#Romance comes in all shapes and forms#lol#I will do an angsty one at some point#or maybe just add some angst in general?#im so fluffy#maybe we need some spice#but also im a crybaby so maybe not#a lil late but she's here~#oblivious steve#dumbass boy#he's trying
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TR Boys Crackhead Headcanons
Kazutora Hanemiya
Man spreads because why should you have space on the train
shoves puzzle pieces together that don't match because "this part fits, see!"
broke his own finger just to feel what it was like
moves furniture so people bump into it on purpose
crops everyone else out of photos he's in and doesn't even use the photos for anything
sometimes wears shoes on the opposite feet just to see who will notice
has and will break granola bars on anyone's bed
Mitsuya Takashi
learned to bake so he could put laxatives in cake (fuck around and find out)
hates who his sisters hate
definitely shit talks kindergarteners with Luna
wore a matching dress with his sisters to the movies, pummeled the guy that tried laughing at him
doesn't stop the conversation when he enters the public restrooms
Nahoya Kawata
walks down the upward escalator
smacks everyone in the back of the head because he feels like it
had court once, laughed on his way out because he was falsely found not guilty
has and will drink milk from cereal bowls without having cereal
sits and stares at Souya without blinking until Souya gets uncomfortable
knocked out a guy's teeth and kept them to send back to him via mail
Souya Kawata
Prefers to sleep in a pile of stuffed animals
the bed hasn't been slept in for three years
actually writes poems and hangs them around the city, ended up on the news for it
Cries to ASPCA commercials
Gets angry when Nahoya falls asleep on the couch, drags him back to bed by his feet
completely believes he could solve true crime
Keisuke Baji
Sharpens his teeth with a nail file
tried wearing contacts once but didn't soak them in contact solution so he only dried his eyes out
calls everyone babe platonically
if he can't find both shoes he only wears one
has a scrunchy collection
thought he was spiderman once and jumped off a roof
will shake his ass when standing still (mad tango skillz)
Kokonoi Hajime
Has a book of rare coins
has a button collection
uses chalk hairdye
plucks his eyebrows too thin
can ballet dance
TikTok feind
Manjiro Sano
Calls in sick to places he doesn't work
Got fired from three places he didn't work at
always orders kids meals
has a tantrum until Kenny cuts his hair
uses clear nail polish regularly
has debated getting a trampstamp
does his hair straight up before fixing it so he can look like a unicorn
Ken Ryuguji
has gone bald, does not work for him
draws in tattoos on the side of his head
has a collection of fake earrings that he tried once (Howls Moving Castle theme)
keeps flavored lube in his room just so he can taste it when he wants something sweet
Taiju Shiba
Thinks he can pull of orange (makes him feel like a baddy)
carries an eyebrow pencil everywhere
fights random females for fun
punches himself in the face for being late to things
had frosted tips in middle school
has staring contests with himself
Hanma Shuji
eats ice cream with a fork
eats soup off a plate
has a closet full of plaid clothing, irons it before wearing because "who tf fights with wrinkles in their clothes"
swears by hair gel
tried hairspray once, didn't taste nice so he threw it out a window
after being dubbed the Reaper, he wore a grim reaper outfit
will kiss and the homies and say no homo
Chifuyu Matsuno
plans to name his first child after his cat
has a Baji shrine next to his Peke J shrine
reads his Yaoi books in public and has outburst when things don't go how he wants them to
locked himself in a pet store and threatened to kill himself if he didn't get a cat, his mom beat the shit out of him for it
screams "real or cake" before biting literally anything
Tetta Kisake
puts milk before cereal
writes cursive only to annoy others
once slept on the roof of his house to make his mom feel bad for yelling at him
has a dog name Roscoe (it's a female)
definitely has little man syndrome
thinks girls are into his "mysterious" vibe (literally just doesn't speak to anyone and has RBF)
once pretended to be gay thinking he would get into a girls slumber party
Hakkai Shiba
the only girl he can talk to is his sister (that's just a fact)
moves the family photos around to see if Yuzuha will notice
is regularly on discord but he pretends to be a girl so he can troll guys
swings from trees like hes a monkey because he thinks its faster than running
worked at a haunted house and crawled across the floor like some messed up spider, he was playing as a scarecrow, it was a childrens haunted house
Takamichi Hanagaki
tries to scale buildings by the fire escapes
copies the others fighting styles hoping to look just as cool
eats a raw egg every morning
crops himself out of photos so no one can find him
unironically calls Hina his little princess
colors in the boxes to crossword puzzles
#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev#anime#manga#manjiro sano#mikey#takemichi hanagaki#ken ryuguji#draken#mitsuya takashi#keisuke baji#chifuyu matsuno#kazutora hanemiya#shuji hanma#nahoya kawata#smiley#souya kawata#angry#taiju shiba#kokonoi hajime#hakkai shiba#tetta kisaki#crack#headcanons#head canon#fanfic#fanfiction
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I HATE ganlink and ganzel, but, mostly, I HATE Ganondorf.
I swear, how can there be people who ship a demon who always seeks to FUCK WITH THE LIVES OF THE KINGDOM AND THE PROTAGONISTS and say that "" oh, but he's a victim "", "" oh, it's Hylia's fault""" , "" ain, but look carefully """.
Look, nothing!!! I swear, every time I see fanarts or fanfics or the number of people who support this with the shitty excuse of """ oh, Link/Zelda will show what's good about him"" (that's when it's not a romanticization of rape or abusive relationship). And you know what's the worst, it's the fact that Nintendo's shit makes him ""physically attractive"" since it seems like if you're physically attractive you can do whatever the fuck you want and people not only will forgive you, as he will glorify you.
My God, Ganondorf isn't even a gray villain, with layers, NO!!! He's just the typical shit villain who wants to dominate and kill just because he likes (and no, neither do I). come with Ganondorf from WW, because that was ridiculous, "" oh, I just wanted a better place, I just wanted the wind"" and then he tries to invade a Kingdom that isn't his and condemns the gerudo and Hyrule, he he's just a selfish spoiled brat who tried to play the victim).
And I'm not even going to talk about Ghirahim's ship with Link here because it's ridiculous and disgusting, ""haha, let's ship Link with the guys who screwed up his life for active and passive because GAY SEX, haha""". I hate sidlink and malink, but at least the stories and fanarts are cute, the relationships are healthy and, most importantly, MALON AND SÍDON NEVER TRIED TO FUCK LINK'S LIFE!!!!
I like fanarts that place Ganondorf, Zelda and Link as "unlikely friends" or with Zelda and Link destroying or mocking Ganondorf but that's it, if you want to do a story where he finds the Light, do it. BUT DON'T INVOLVE LINK AND ZELDA IN THIS, THEY HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY OR DUTY IN """RESCUING GANONDORF"""!!!
All games say that Ganondorf is only king because he is the ''''chosen one''''. If there's anyone who enjoys the '''divine monarchy''' it's this son of a bitch. Another thing, seriously, just because there is a conflict in Gaza (it seems to ignore what Hamas does to its own people) and because he is dark-skinned, he cannot be a villain? Please, it would be a problem if all Gerudos were portrayed as villains.
It makes me sick to see how a part of the fandom always wants to find a way to make Ganondorf a '''gray villain''' when they aren't crying and kicking because Nintendo doesn't justify all his actions as a '''poor thing and as Hyrule is the great hidden evil'''.
And the stupidest thing is why these people ask this, since it seems like they can't ask for more '''complexity''' from Ganondorf without talking about his shitty race, I'll bet my house that if Ganondorf were a white man, clearly heterosexual, no one would say anything about him being a cartoonish villain.
The mistakes of the royal family of Hyrule have never been hidden, some even come to light (the history of the Yiga, the Civil War in Oot), but it seems that these people would only keep quiet if Ganondorf decimated all the Hylians. , because Hylians are evil and how dare you insinuate that a dark-skinned man from the Middle East is a shitty person and a tyrant who uses his people as instruments and blah, blah, blah.
''''Ain, but Ganondorf from Wind Waker'''', the truth is that little happened to him. That little speech of his is the same one in which Hitler told the Jews in the concentration camps that ''''Germany was destroyed by the First War and the Treaty of Versailles was destroying his people and that he only had the noble reason to empower the Germans. and that he only wanted the good of his people.'
Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Well, that's basically Ganondorf's speech.
And finally: Zelda has imperialist propaganda. Well, what's the problem? It's incredible how foreigners deify the Republic because of course, the only shit is the monarchy.
The monarchy in Latin countries was going well, with its ups and downs like every system of government and then BOOM, France, USA and England start to interfere in the politics of other countries to plunge them into wars and make it '''' democratic republics'''' completely dependent on them, a great plan, and now, the Latinos want to exchange American imperialism for Chinese, remaining slaves but changing owners. I would love imperialism like Zelda's, the races have a lot of autonomy of their own and even in the cruelest moment of the Hylian monarchy, they still managed to be self-sustainable. Ganondorf has always been a tyrant, who put his people in misery to use them as justification for his actions.
You complain about Rauru and the Hylian monarchy, but Ganondorf never wanted what was best for the Gerudo, he never wanted to live in peace with other races, he wanted to INVADE lands that weren't his (it was always implied that Hylians existed before). the Gerudo) if you have someone who is an imperialist who takes advantage of the "divine right of monarchy" that being is Ganondorf. I am very happy when I see the Gerudo prosper without the thorn in the side that is Ganondorf, I am completely in favor of that the '''gerudo men''' no longer exist and they are the incredible Amazonian tribe that they always were.
That's it, I've had this installed in my heart since I joined this fandom and finally, I'm at peace.
#tears of the kingdom#the legend of zelda#zelda#tloz tears of the kingdom#legend of zelda#loz#ganondorf#loz ganon#loz link#botw link#zelda botw#botw 2#link#calamity ganon#totk ganon#wind waker#oot#ocarina of time#I think this could be considered a “”hate post“” or something similar#tloz#totk#demise#tloz ww#exaggerated outburst#It's my shitty opinion#okay?#but you can comment whatever you want#outburst of fury caused mainly by a twitter post#zelda totk#totk critical
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Heathers + Mean Girls as things my classmates (or just my batch generally) (and me)'s interactions
~~~~~
Ms. Norbury: Why is it that in the Philippines bathrooms are called "Comfort Rooms"?
Janis: "Comfort room" but people cry in there.
Gretchen:
Gretchen: Wait you're right-
~~~~~
Martha, putting a slug toy in a toilet paper roll: It's a snail! It has a house now!
Veronica:
Martha: I'm so mature :)
~~~~~
Janis: You're still not done???
Damian, holding up her iced coffee in a gay ass way: This is a cold drink, and I'm a theatre kid. Put two and two together.
Cady: Four.
Janis:
Damian:
Janis:
Regina: *wheeze*
~~~~~
(Playing scrabble)
Damian, to Cady: No, it has to be straight.
Janis: Oh woooowwww how Catholic.
~~~~~
Veronica: Here's my braincell. *draws a dot*
Betty: That's your braincell? Here's mine. *taps pen on paper but doesn't open pen so there's nothing*
Veronica: Where is it?
Betty: Exactly.
~~~~~
Ms. Flemming: Wait, why doesn't she want to ride the ferris wheel?
Veronica: She said it's a "hygeine issue."
~~~~~
Heather, to Heather: The reason why you don't get it is because you're a basher.
~~~~~
(Grouped together in a research project)
Janis: Yeah but-
Regina: sHUT THE FUCK UP
Janis: HEAR ME OUT
Damian and Gretchen: *treating this like a sitcom* The drama I love it.
~~~~~
Betty: Hey, has anyone done the presentation?
The whole class: ....
The whole class: No.
Betty: Perfect we can get an extension.
~~~~~
Ms. Flemmimg: You have to write in cursive.
Heather: What
Heather: WAIT NOOOOO
Heather: I don't remember how to write in cursive.
Veronica: I'm fine with cursive when I write it with my own free will not when I'm fORCED
Martha: Why???
Betty: It's as if we're back in grade school.
~~~~~
People in class: *hollering at nothing*
Janis: Gay.
~~~~~
Janis: Hey, what's the schedule today?
Cady: Uhhh first there's general math-
Janis: Fuck
Cady: Then physical science-
Janis: Fuck
Cady: And 21st century literature
Janis: Fuck
Damian: *laughs*
~~~~~
(A message on the whiteboard that insults a whole grade level because of how they use the classroom and leave it in a mess)
Janis: Damn.
Damian: It's right though.
Gretchen: Can't be an opinion if it's a fact.
Aaron: "Cheap perfumes" Holy shit.
Cady:
Cady: *turns to Regina*
Regina:
Regina: They left the classroom is arranged for once it worked.
~~~~~
Heather: No, you do it like this.
Veronica: Yeah then just take x+3 and-
Betty: I don't gET IT
Heather: Then maybe yOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABSENT.
Veronica: YEAH
Heather: And now Heather is judging us.
~~~~~
Heather: *sees a pride flag on Heather's pencilcase*
Heather: Wow how bold.
Heather: Whatcha mean? That's our country's flag, I'm patriotic.
~~~~~
(In the class gc)
Heather: Is it just me, but I can't edit the gdrive Ms. Flemming sent.
(No response)
Heather, replying to her own message: Heather, me too!
Heather, replying to her message again: What do we do Heather?
Veronica: Me too!
Veronica: Guys reply to her message, she's sulking now.
#veronica sawyer#martha dunnstock#heathers the musical#betty finn#chansaw#heather chandler#heathers the movie#heather duke#heather mcnamara#dukesaw#mcnamawyer#poly!heathersxveronica#mean girls#mean girls musical movie#mean girls musical#mean girls 2004#regina george#janis sarkisian#janis imi'ike#cady heron#damian hubbard#karen smith#karen shetty#gretchen wieners#aaron samuels#rejanis#fetchen#cadina#or at least implied ships
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Leon S. Kennedy Headcanons+Drabble
Male reader in mind with these, he/him pronouns used, kinda set in Re2 cause I've been playing it and I can't get that specific version out of my head, might do another one like this but Re4 remake cause uhhh, they did him right with that one. Anyways, enjoy this clusterfuck of gay thoughts about the best rookie in all of Raccoon City.
CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine-aligned, and male readers!
He is honestly adorable
So sweet, very kind-hearted, definition of a lovey dovey boyfriend right here
Definitely the kind of person to try and stay up late to watch movies with you but ends up falling asleep halfway through
Not that you mind cause that just means you can play with his hair and he won’t complain
On the topic of his hair
By the grace of the gods is it soft as fuck
Please, play with it, even if he whines about it, he loves it (definitely not cause he wants you to pull it, never, how could that possibly be a possibility)
Loves cuddling with you
Doesn’t matter the context he just loves it
Early in the morning before you two have to do anything
Late at night before you go to bed
Hell even in the middle of the day when he needs to recharge
He has a tendency to be very quiet when he’s walking around the house
Neither of you know why he does it, but it does provide him with a lot of good opportunities to scare you
Standing at the kitchen counter, you were mixing up some batter for pancakes, hoping to surprise Leon with breakfast in bed. Too focused on measuring out the next ingredient you didn’t hear or sense Leon walking into the kitchen, eyes half-closed to avoid the sun’s bright light flooding the room. He slowly walked up behind you to see what you were doing, resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. The sudden touch scared the absolute shit out of you, making you fling the teaspoon you were holding across the kitchen and jump up in his arms.
“Fuck me!! Christ Leon, you’re way too good at scaring me,” He merely chuckled and buried his head further into your shoulder, once again trying to hide his eyes from the sun.
“I didn’t mean to, but you left the bed and you know I can’t sleep without you,” Right, he always finds comfort in sleeping with you, he struggles any time he has to go out of town and you can’t go with him. You sighed and shifted around in his arms to face him, holding his hips lightly as he was still gripping onto you.
“Well if you want to go back to sleep, I’ll be done with these in a few minutes, then we can lay back down together, how’s that sound hm?” He looked up at you for the first time, those beautiful blue eyes staring back at you, half-lidded with sleep.
“Can we go back to sleep now? I wanna cuddle you,” Sighing again with a small smile you kissed him gently.
“Let me get this in the fridge so it doesn’t go bad on the counter, guess I’m making pancakes later.” Leon smiled and let go of you to head back to your shared bed, awaiting your warmth to comfort him back into slumber. Making your way into the room, he opened his arms and lifted the blanket to let you into the cozy embrace of your beautiful boyfriend. Cuddling up next to him, his head rested against your chest, arms wrapped around your middle while he slowly fell back asleep, taking you into a lovely slumber with him.
#leon kennedy#leon s. kennedy#leon kennedy x male reader#leon kennedy re2#resident evil#resident evil 2#x male reader#resident evil x male reader#male reader#male reader fanfic#mlm account
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/724781513472868352 I resonate with this on a deep level. I get told at college all the time that I don't look LGBT+ (they refuse to say queer, respectability politics is a helleva drug), I don't act it, no queer person is into my major or my hobbies, and it's weird that I'm queer but not into astrology or dressing more aesthetically ("are you a cottagecore or a dark academia gay?" I'm neither I'm a me) or playing Pokemon because outgrowing Pokemon is for cishets. People talk about gays/LGBT+ not being able to drive or do math or sit normally and then act like I'm some kind of ridiculous weirdo for not laughing at what they assure me is a true statement that does not apply to them or to me. People encourage me to experiment with my style or hair and "come out of your shell". I am informed I need to listen to certain musicians because all LGBT+ people are into them. It's weird that I'm not. It's even weirder I don't like The Owl House or hate Steven Universe or keep up with Heartstopper like the good queers do.
Basically it all boils down to, "Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you be like us?"
Because I'm not. My dad is a Pashtun Muslim and my mother is a Bukharan Jew. I have lived in the Deep South half my life and Wyoming the other half. My media interests are unrelated to queer rep and wholly based on liking the plots of things. I grew up on oldies and TV shows like Starsky and Hutch that my parents loved, pirated and played on repeat. I don't believe in astrology, I'm not a witch and I'm not an atheist with a Christocentric worldview who assumes all religions are Christianity Lite. I don't listen to the correct musicians mostly because I discover music entirely by accident and have a mishmash of genres and bands in rotation. Pokemon fell off and I'm not into it. I would sooner die than dye my Pashtun red hair that people made fun of me for as a kid. I like wearing button downs, clean shirts, nice jeans and my Magen David. None of this is incompatible with being queer. No one is going to kick me out of a gay club for not having played Pokemon Violet or listening to Tracy Chapman or trusting in science over crystals for healing.
And I really hate that after years of being avoided and pitied in high school by jackass backwards rednecks for being weird, I got to my dream university, the university in the most liberal city in Montana, and get the same fucking treatment.
Commenters like the one anon mentioned remind me of all the people who act like I'm doing it wrong. What is 'it', in that sentence? Living my life. Being queer. And when it crops in fandom - and I've gotten it sometimes for writing queer characters who are like me, Southern and into uncool shit and not sharp dressers and religious - it just makes me want to start screaming.
I am queer. I am not incorrectly queer. I am who I am and therefore, because I am queer, that is a correct way to do queerness.
Some gripes about Gen Z are overblown but this weirdly narrow view of what queerness is allowed to look like or be is 100% as awful as other generations say it is and it's fucking exhausting to live through. I don't have to sit differently in order to be doing queerness right or be unable to drive. I exist and I am queer and that is all I need to do and be.
I wish fandom was different from real life. I wish it was more open to the reality that queer people have a multitude of backgrounds and lived experiences. We're facing enough shit IRL, can't we just have one place where we're NICE to each other?
--
As a 40+ queer, I'm laughing myself sick at the current crop of "required" queer interests.
In my day, it was oldschool cis gay male culture for the men (think being obsessed with Bette Davis) and But I'm a Cheerleader and Dykes to Watch Out For for the women or something.
Not that you have to like any of those things either. It's just hilarious how clueless people are about what's a temporary trend that will probably be different in 5 years.
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Toman Groupchat (everyone's here again, well most of em)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of periods, mentions of drugs, mentions of pregnancy
Desc: Mikey and Izana realize the actions necessary for Emma to get pregnant, and they don't like it (also Yuzuha and Senju r gay, sorry)
Emma: Mikey while you're at the store could you pls buy me pads
Mikey: ayt
Mikey: your pussy size is large right?
Smiley: ayo
Angry: there's a reason for dm guys😕
Baji: LMAO
Emma: :(
Emma: that's not how it works
Senju: me personally, I wouldn't take this level of disrespect
Senju: that's crazy
Draken: Mikey you dumb fuck
Rindou: is that how periods work?
Rindou: the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow?
Rindou: holy shit
Rindou: i'm gonna add that to my new song
Sanzu: why
Rindou: listen
Rindou: "the bigger the pussy the heavier the flow"
Rindou: "no pussy can beat my rap game tho"
Rindou: 🔥
Sanzu: what the fuck
Izana: that may be the worst thing i've ever heard
Ran: no, let him do what he wants
Ran: please rap those exact words on your next gig
Emma: guys can you not I'm already in a bad mood 😭
Hina: Emma-chan do you need me to come over?
Emma: yes pls. we should have a girls day :)
Draken: if you guys need me i'll be at the shop with Inupi and Shin
Emma: okay ❤❤
Mikey: you didn't answer the question bruh
Emma: just take large😐
Izana: why r u in a bad mood I just gave you ice cream
Emma: cause of my period
Emma: i didn't expect it to come
Yuzuha: do you not have a calender
Emma: no it's just i thought i'd be pregnant by now
Emma: me and Ken have been trying for a baby everyday for the last 2 months so i thought it would have worked :(
Izana: k
Baji: r you guys as Emma's older brothers just gonna let this happen
Baji: can't believe you said that Emma
Mikey: wdym
Izana: ?
Baji: Emma just told us that Draken has been blowing her back out everyday for the past 2 months
Kazutora: yooooo
Hina: guys😐
Baji: y'all r tripping
Mikey: ...
Mikey: Ken-chin☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Izana: what the fuck Draken
Senju: must be nice Emma😊
Senju: great relationship, great house, great penis
Senju: i'm really happy for you guys (when is it my turn to be happy, i'm so sick of this)
Yuzuha: lmao good for you Emma
Yuzuha: and Senju you're literally famous
Izana: i'm literally going to kill you
Draken: ...?
Emma: are you guys serious right now
Mikey: you guys have sex
Mikey: ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Draken: i-
Draken: she's my wife
Draken: for 4 years now
Izana: what makes you think that means you can touch her???
Mikey: i'ma tell Shinichiro btw😐
Kazutora: someone lost NNN lmao
Ran: only single people do NNN so they can feel rewarded for their virginity and feel like it matters and that it's worth something when it's not
Kazutora: yes
Kazutora: let me have something damn
Angry: i'm the champ of NNN just btw😡💙
Angry: wait that was before i saw Rans message :(
Smiley: sometimes you do this to yourself
Emma: Manjiro get the fucking pads
Mikey: k, but i don't wanna talk to you anymore
Yuzuha: "adult man baby cannot fathom that his sister has sexual relations with her husband"
Yuzuha: is that about right
Mikey: i'm not a man baby
Mikey: does this mean the same with Hina and Mitchy?????
Mikey: 🤢🤮😭😰
Mikey:
Hina: you're just mad cause the only thing you ride is your bike
Hina: i'm sorry i didn't mean to say that
Hina: i apologize 😔
Baji: get it Hina, eat him up
Baji: dumb ass, pubeless ass, broke ass, b.o smelling ass, no bitches ass mf
Mikey: PUBELESS???
Mikey: I HAVE SO FUCKING MANY DUDE DONT PLAY WITH ME RN
Mikey: I'M A GROWN ASS MAN
Baji: yet you can barely grow any hair on your body
Emma: he tried to grow a stubble once and got an infection☺
Kakucho: the same happened with Izana haha
Kakucho: ...i'm sorry
Izana: 100 pushups
Izana: now
Kakucho: Izana please
Kakucho: i just had a gallon of ice-cream
Kakucho: please
Izana: your begging will amount to nothing
Izana: do you want 150
Kakucho: 😞
Takemitchy: leave my boy alone 😕✊
Izana: maybe put on some deodorant first
Takemitchy: ...i don't smell tho
Izana: Hina tell him
Hina: tell him what😅
Hina: there's nothing to tell babe❤
Hina: I love you so much more than anything even
Takemitchy: ...i'll go take a shower😕
Yuzuha: free Hina
Yuzuha: you deserve a woman, they smell nice
Senju: i smell nice😚
Senju: and i'm so smoll
Senju: i'm so microscopic
Senju: maybe we could compare hand sizes Yuzuha🤗
Yuzuha: what r you doing
Baji: why are you acting like a pick me
Senju: cause i want her to pick me tf🤨
Senju: anyway
Senju: Yuzuha☺❤
Yuzuha: uh
Senju: one date?🤗
Yuzuha: uhm
Yuzuha: ykw fuck it, sure ig
Senju: ...
Senju: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OMG
Senju: GONNA START A LIVE ON INSTAGRAM
Senju: MY FANS R GONNA BE SO HAPPY😭😭😭😭❤
Yuzuha: ?
Sanzu: poor girl
Sanzu: she copes by feeding her delusions
Sanzu: a shame
Mikey: is that why she's so happy all the time?
Sanzu: yeah
Baji: aren't you delusional?🤨
Sanzu: i'm very normal
Ran: oh please
Rindou: and how exactly do you cope?🤨
Sanzu: i don't need to cope i'm a fucking superstar
Sanzu: also ketamine
Rindou: 😒
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers manga spoilers#tokrev#tokyo revengers texts#tokyo revengers smau#tokyo revengers groupchat#toman groupchat#tenjiku groupchat#sano manjiro/mikey#baji keisuke#ryuguji ken/draken#matsuno chifuyu#emma sano#kurokawa izana#hitto kakucho#sanzu haruchiyp#akashi senju#tachibana hinata#hanagaki takemitchy#hanemiya kazutora#haitani brothers#kawata brothers#bonten#shiba yuzuha#drakemma#takehina#idk i ship yuzusen for some reason#i also believe Rindou raps for some reason#he's good at DJ'ing but his raps are atrocious
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✦Call of Duty Bio Headcanons✦
(I know they have canon ages and heights and stuff, but listen. It's fiction, and I think I know better(/j). You can disagree, but these are my opinions. Also, obviously, not all of the info has changed.)
✧John Price✧
Age: 42 y.o
Height: 6'2"
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: "Sexy-Is-Sexy" (Or Pansexual)
Middle Name: Samuel
Likes: Whiskey, vintage radios, old westerns, horses, & mint ice cream.
Dislikes: Streaming services, cigarettes(ironic), spicy food, dust, & cottage cheese.
Birthday: January 1st
Zodiac: Capricorn
-Trivia-
-Allergic to cats and didn't know until he moved out because his mother had like, four. Grew up around them his entire childhood and was honestly devastated when he realized they make him sick cause he loves'em.
-He was definitely a fuck boy in high school/college. Not an asshole one, he made his intentions up front and he was overall sweet, but he didn't wanna be tied down. Ironic given how he ended up wanting the exact opposite later on.
-Wishes he took better care of his teeth as a kid. They look great now but he has five fillings in his molars and one (now replaced), silver tooth all the way in the back.
Phobia: Amenisphobia; The fear of amnesia
Neuro...: Neurotypical
✧Kyle "Gaz" Garrick✧
Age: 26 y.o
Height: 6'0"
Pronouns: He/Him (I heavily support the trans!Gaz HC)
Sexuality: Bisexual w/ a male preference
Middle Name: Dylin
Likes: Hot chocolate, the smell of lavender, coconut, licorice toffee, & nostalgic music.
Dislikes: Milk, politics(irony again), Winter, grocery shopping, & spiders.
Birthday: September 5th
Zodiac: Virgo
-Trivia-
-Second oldest of four children, the only boy. He's a family man when it comes to his siblings, but not so much when it comes to his parents. Barely present father and a stressed out mother create for a shaky relationship with them.
-Cannot cook to save his life. Man lives off of delivery, MREs, and cup noodles. He knows like...four dishes, and most of them are really simple.
-Struggles decorating and making outfits cause he likes tons of different aesthetics. Everything from Scene Kid(for his inner teen) to streetwear. His version of housed decor are a bunch of plants. (Fake so they don't die when he's on deployment)
Phobia: Arachnophobia; fear of arachnids/spiders.
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Dyslexia)
✧Johnny "Soap" MacTavish✧
Age: 29 y.o
Height: 5'8"
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Omnisexual
Middle Name: Neil (heh)
Likes: Knickknacks, loud music, punk aesthetic, chickens, & football(aka Soccer for us pathetic Americans).
Dislikes: Silence, sitting still, vague answers, being told what to do, & big dogs.
Birthday: August 12th
Zodiac: Leo
-Trivia-
-Constantly on & off with a caffeine addiction. He'll do really good about just drinking water, then he'll have one energy drink and he's fucked it all up again.
-The scar on his chin is from a dog, the scar in his eyebrow is from a fight he got in as a teenager. He got in a lot of trouble as a teen.
-Borderline pyromaniac, honestly. Hyperfixated on fire as a kid and now he's really happy to be a bombtech. Bro loves blowing shit up.
Phobia: Cynophobia; fear of dogs.
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (ADHD, hyperlexia)
✧Simon "Ghost" Riley✧
Age: 36 y.o
Height: 6'4"
Pronouns: He/It (Using "it" makes him seem more ominous, which he thinks is fun)
Sexuality: Gay or Homoflexible, demisexual/demiromantic probably
Middle Name: Achilles
Likes: Birds, alternative indie music, dark chocolate, Victorian architecture, & murder mystery books.
Dislikes: Snakes, graveyards, the dark(when it's completely pitch black), 99% of physical touch, & fluorescent lights.
Birthday: December 30th
Zodiac: Capricorn
-Trivia-
-He'll never admit it but he loves babies. They're super tiny and super cute, and Simon's heart always melts when one's around. Alas, he's also terrified of scaring them or getting attached, so he avoids babies as best he can. Can't have people thinking he's soft.
-Makes the best steak in Manchester. Sometimes his seasoning is bland but the meat itself is perfection, you won't find any better. Melts in your mouth every time. It's a steak equivalent of 6 orgasms. It IS an orgasm. He makes great fucking steak.
-Isn't fond of pure silence like Soap, but he doesn't often wanna fill it with loud sounds. He has a playlist of softer, more instrumental songs for this. Or he'll listen to nature sounds. He likes quiet, just not silent.
Phobia: Taphephobia; the fear of being buried alive.
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Autistic, dyscalculia)
✧Alejandro Vargas✧
Age: 38 y.o
Height: 5'11"
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Bisexual (Maybe Poly? He's not sure)
Middle Name: N/A
Likes: Hot drinks, the smell of roses, his nieces/nephews, physical affection, & cowboy hats.
Dislikes: Sweaty palms, tourist-y Americans, caramel sauce, white-lies, & the feeling of glue.
Birthday: March 25th
Zodiac: Aries
-Trivia-
-Was with Valeria for awhile, but differences, stress, and Valeria discovering she was pretty gay broke them up. They had some tension, but he wasn't bitter towards her. Until she betrayed them, of course.
-Was actually the last of his friend group to lose his virginity. He's a passionate, flirty man, but he's not throwing that kind of trust out willy-nilly. He had a few relationships but didn't reach that point until he was like, 19, about to turn 20. He asked a friend to share the moment with him. ...a close friend.
-Cannot function in the cold at all. And his definition of cold is 21 degrees Celsius. (70 Fahrenheit for us Americans) He layers and complains all day, he's got a fuckin' heated blanket. A heated blanket owner in fucking MEXICO.
Phobia: Coulrophobia; the fear of clowns
Neuro...: Neurotypical
✧Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra✧
Age: 38 y.o
Height: 5'9"
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Bisexual (Also maybe poly but he's very hesitant about it)
Middle Name: N/A
Likes: Ice baths, windchimes, baked sweets(mostly pie), clean handwriting, & naps on the couch.
Dislikes: Cutting onions, heavy blankets, confrontation(with like, loved ones. Not on duty, obviously), slow walkers, & reptiles.
Birthday: June 20th
Zodiac: Gemini
-Trivia-
-Super good at singing, but he never does, because he's embarrassed. His mother would often encourage him to sing when he was younger at family gatherings, and now he cringes when someone hears him sing and comments on it.
-His house is full of fans. Some rooms have more than one. They're running basically all the time, as well as the AC. Sometimes he has to get a family member to go home and turn them off when he's on a long mission.
-He knew Alejandro before Alejandro knew him. When they were kids, Rudy was shy and had some problems with his health(exercise induced asthma mostly), so he didn't go out of his way to befriend other kids much. But he was a people watcher, and Alejandro was the most fun to watch. They actually met because one of Alejandro's friends pointed it out and called him creepy, only for Alejandro to defend him. Then they became super close friends!
Phobia: Bufonophobia; the fear of toads
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Autistic, echolalia)
✧Valeria Garza✧
Age: 39 y.o
Height: 5'7"
Pronouns: She/It
Sexuality: Sapphic Demiromantic
Middle Name: N/A
Likes: Expensive paintings, perfect nail-polish, sandalwood incense, lemon water, & flowers.
Dislikes: Shaving, back-talk, tiny text on documents or books, chunky rings, & pineapple.
Birthday: January 23rd
Zodiac: Aquarius
-Trivia-
-Has a pull to religious imagery in a darker light because of religious trauma. Roman Catholicism is quite common in Mexico, but her parents were really heavy about it. To the point it makes Valeria bitter over it. She has a rocky relationship with God, but finds Mary comforting. Because when she was brought to church, but wanted to hide, she'd hide beside a Mary statue in a corner.
-She has an odd sleep schedule. She often only gets four hours of sleep, but she doesn't seem to be tired at any point. In fact, the more sleep she gets, the more lethargic she is that day.
-Her first girlfriend was when she was still in the military. A traveling medic from Italy. Unfortunately, the flame came and went thanks to the medic having to leave. Valeria has moved on, but she does mourn their lost time sometimes and has a little dream of meeting her again one day. Though she knows that's not practical.
Phobia: Ecclesiophobia; the fear of church
Neuro...: Neurotypical
✧Alex Keller✧
Age: 36 y.o
Height: 6'1"
Pronouns: He/Him
Sexuality: Heteroflexible
Middle Name: Sebastian (he's embarrassed about this)
Likes: Golden retrievers, bad jokes, most seafood, provolone cheese, & hummus.
Dislikes: Thanksgiving, the sound of rubbing styrofoam, being told to "do what he wants"(makes him feel aimless), tobacco smell, & overzealousness. (He likes simplicity...excluding his tattoos)
Birthday: December 2nd
Zodiac: Sagittarius
-Trivia-
-He doesn't really talk to his family excluding holidays. BUT, he will always keep in contact with his older sister, and his niece by proxy. They're the only two that made him feel wanted in his family. He wasn't abused in his mind, but he wasn't paid attention to much either. He always seemed overshadowed by something/someone, and as he got older, he got tired of feeling like an outcast in his own family. So he slowly drifted away and he goes on the guidance of orders he receives.
-Probably born in a small town in a place like Utah. He's got small-town-mid-south manners. But I like to imagine he spent a lot of his time in California too, he seems like he'd enjoy the sun and the ocean.
-Picks up languages really quick, somehow. At least, when he's around people that speak it. If he had to learn purely from books, he'd have choppy speech at best. He's fluent in English, Spanish, and Arabic. Also, knows a bit of ASL, but he's still working on that one.
Phobia: Lilapsophobia; the fear of hurricanes/tornadoes
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (Hyperlexia, SPD)
✧Farah Ahmed Karim✧
Age: 30 y.o
Height: 5'5"
Pronouns: She/Her
Sexuality: Aliquaromantic Demi-Bisexual
Middle Name: N/A
Likes: Poppies, motorcycles, pretty much any food with chickpeas, super spicy stuff, and the sky at dusk.
Dislikes: Overly salty things, riddles, genuine cockiness, the feeling of rust(that includes on spoons...), & long winded responses.
Birthday: July 1st
Zodiac: Cancer
-Trivia-
-Keeps her hair long despite the fact it's annoying to deal with sometimes. Purely for sentimental reasons. To her, it represents the growth she's had as a person. A far cry from the buzz-cut she was forced into when under someone else's control. So she refuses to cut it.
-She will never use it, and she despises it, but she's semi-fluent in Russian. Being around it for so long made her pick it up. It works well if she needs to translate, but she'll be caught dead before she speaks Russian.
-Honestly can't cook for shit. She doesn't know what the hell she's doing in the kitchen and basically relies on MREs or the skills of others. She's not a picky eater though, and she'll always finish what's put in front of her, even if she's not fond of it.
Phobia: Agniophobia; fear of choking
Neuro...: Neurotypical
✧Konig✧
Age: 28 y.o
Height: 6'10"
Pronouns: He/They
Sexuality: Bisexual
Middle Name: Obercht
(Bonus)Last Name: Badubrecht
Likes: Making bracelets, boxing(watching or doing), soda, heavy metal, & fresh bread.
Dislikes: Certain kinds of wool, small cars, low doorframes, having to go to the medic, & the smell of hay.
Birthday: March 9th
Zodiac: Pisces
-Trivia-
-Was bullied all through high school for various things. His demeanor, his size, his hair(which was long), his cleft lip scar, etc. It took until he hit the largest growth spurt he ever had in secondary school when people began to stop poking fun, but instead avoid him. He maybe had 2-3 actual friends in his entire life before the military. And even now he mostly has acquaintances, not friends.
-Doesn't talk to his mother, she was overbearing and cruel, mostly because Konig looks a lot like his father. He doesn't really talk to his father much because the man is hard to talk to. He's not completely cut off, but they are estranged. Konig's grandma hears from him almost every day, sometimes twice a day. She's a badass in her 90s who has never done him wrong, and he would blow up the entire world if anything happened to her.
-Sometimes Konig gets comments that say he's got multiple personalities. (By uneducated people, clearly) Because he seems to switch dramatically between modes depending on time, place, and circumstance. Sometimes he's childish and giggly, cute even. Sometimes he's silent, unreadable, and withdrawn. And on the battlefield he's...inhuman, terrifying, and nothing short of bloodthirsty.
Phobia: Equinophobia; the fear of horses.
Neuro...: Neurodivergent (autistic)
#call of duty#call of duty mwii#modern warfare#captain john price#john price#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#konig call of duty#farah karim#alex keller#alejandro vargas#rodolfo rudy parra#valeria el sin nombre garza#kyle gaz garrick#gaz mw2#soap x gaz#headcanons#call of duty headcanons
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