i am going to Fucking Scream

Fated Year

Notes: Here’s a New Year fic! I can’t believe I started writing about this character since July? August? I noticed that I’ve gotten somewhat better at my skills, and I’ve made such Wonderful, Lovely Friends and Followers through these tough times, and I can’t ever be so grateful enough.

Without further ado, here’s a fic for the New Year

Rating: E

Setting: ABO with my own twists, and Biker! Tai (bc a fellow simp suggested it and I’m hooked)

………

 One of the major things that did not change throughout centuries, was the slim promise of a Fated Mate. Contrary to belief, dynamics didn’t really play a roll on fate’s cupid, no, fate itself did. it was just a roll of dice, a stroke of luck, the clouds sifting underneath the moon’s soft glare, shedding light upon the traveler’s path.

 Lupine blood is adaptable, but those stuck in their old, “traditional” ways, had seemed to forget that. It is not always an alpha paired with an omega, or an alpha being head of the home, or betas lacking any scents or personality, or, the one stereotype that you’ve hated the most, omegas needing a knot to sate their so-called “eccentric” heats.

  At worst, heats made the skin flare, areas aching, and one use a lot of energy in satisfying those areas. It wasn’t the incoherent, scrambling to find just about anybody. No, you were very coherent, and wary of your surroundings, anxiety crawling up at you if you didn’t feel safe, refusing any advances.

Sometimes, home didn’t feel right if the neighborhood was seedy, and walls thin enough for impotent scents to leak out through the cracks.

However, you weren’t at home, right now. You were in the emergency room at your local hospital.

It started out innocently enough as a day. You, wanting a break from tending the small greenhouse in your secluded backyard, decided to take a stroll around the bustling city, handing out small business cards that had your shop’s logo printed neatly with your signature and info. Smiling, greeting, and nodding whilst handing out the pink, flowery cards, you were unaware of what was yet to come.  

Oranges, faint vanilla, and the soft bite of earthy sandalwood, had hit your senses out of nowhere. In the middle of a bustling town, it was hard to detect who and where the mouthwatering smell was from emitting from, yet it was of no use, for it was about a day old. To your utter shock, your lower area began to clench and ache, leaking out slick. You stilled, eyes widened with fear as you heard worried mumbling around you, and then, when your knees buckled, a shout for the ambulance.

This couldn’t be real, or even happening, you kept thinking, the crowds of people stopping to only stare. Did your heat overpower the blockers? You asked yourself, luckily for you, a police officer had yelled out for them to keep moving and to mind their business, she and others formed a circle around you, as a few helpful betas released their calming pheromones, near you. You weakly murmured out your gratitude as your shoulder muscles relaxed, only slightly, as your senses heightened, the ache worsened, and you had found yourself clutching your abdomen, kneeling on the ground, you were sure that you were about to die of shame. You’ve always took your scent blockers, suppressants, and had never went into heat at a public place, knowing that each cycle was calculated, and they had only happened twice a year. This year was beginning to end, soon, and you’ve already went through your heats alone and cooped up in your closet.

The only explanation that had crossed into your mind, made you still in more shock, as you heard the ambulance siren began to cry out into the distance, driving near you.

………………

He was frantic, like a dog on the trail of the scent that had hit him twice as hard than any greaser could, three weeks ago. At first, he laughed it off with his buddies as he sipped on some sake, just recently gotten out of his rut. Granted, it wasn’t a large one like that of an alpha’s, but it was as worse than his usual ruts, and it kind of freaked him out, a little.

Being that of a dominant beta, he figured that he was just as fine the way he is, although a known biker who had beaten up thugs, he had manners, and a stable job and income. He not only had the strength and build to stand up to most alphas, but the calming scent to lessen the shoulders of a friend or family member. If one didn’t know any better, they’d say that he was an alpha. He was tall, round yet muscular, and at first glance, gave off the “bad boy” attitude.

Oh no, his personality couldn’t be more polar opposite, however. He had a soft heart, and had to reject a lot of admirers, because through and through, he was bit of a secret romantic. Well, he tried to keep it secret, but “Sorry, waitin’ for my mate”, and not ever really having anybody, really spoke volumes. He knew that it was nearly impossible for a soulmate to fall into his lap, but he hoped, he really did.

Fated mates were rare, and rarely happened between a beta and any other dynamic. Especially with omegas. He didn’t believe it, at first, but then again, beta ruts happened at least once a year, rarely more, and scents didn’t trigger them, at all, until now. His friends had gleefully explained this right after he crawled out of the damned house in a post-rut haze, asking anybody and everybody on what the hell had just happened. His shock didn’t waver, even after the proud cackling and congratulations from his friends from him learning the news, was only a week prior ago.  

Although his memory was a little vague, he remembered the sweetness of the omega’s scent. Strawberries, cream, and a hint of honey. It was a classic combination of smells, and he couldn’t believe that it sent a jolt of electricity through his being, him itching to just take a bite. When he had understood that he was basically married by fate, he had taken some time for himself to think through his disbelief, excitement, fear, worry, and joy.  

Although he loved his bike, and hanging out with his fellow motorcycle buddies and work colleagues, he knew that he had wanted to settle down, as well, and just hope that the person liked him and his lifestyle. Especially, hopefully, if the person was as sweet as their scent is, and of course the rarity of fate throwing him in what he had been craving for. Of course, he wholeheartedly accept no for an answer, if his intended rejected him, and little small insecurities had been preparing for that, but, he was wanting to try, and he didn’t mind taking that leap.  

So, he revved up the engine of his motorcycle, and scoured the area in where that scent was. Two days, he had been trailing the scent, hoping to find it. Did the other person went into heat right after he did? There were no news or calls on the radio at the local police station, about it. He had began doubting himself, wondering if he was just a weak beta, having a scent bother him, and it wasn’t fate at all.

Through his internal struggle while slowly rolling through the streets, his body automatically froze, as he all but stomped on the brake pedal. That. It. The scent. It didn’t affect him, too badly, but he knew that his body temperature had risen up, and he was on the prowl. Heat. Their heat had just recently hit. It must have been because his own pheromones had still lingered from the day before, and now his little omega unfortunately had to deal with another heat this year.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew that two heats in a year were the natural limit, and thus this year ending, meant that this might be the poor dear’s third one. His instincts sang out to nurture and comfort, but he didn’t know who and where, and asking somebody might label him as a creep, if he didn’t feel like one, already. He pinched his nose, huffing slightly as he looked absentmindedly onto the ground. A flash of pink flying by as the wind had picked up, caught his attention. Cards, and a small group of them had fluttered within the wind, scattering throughout the street. He gingerly stepped onto one, refusing it to flutter away as he picked it up, freezing for a millisecond as he had noticed that the scent lingered there the strongest. Curiously, he rushed to catch another card, to see if it had a different scent.

Joy overcame him as he had noticed that these were the person’s cards. His person’s card, and with information on them.

……………..

You were always coherent during your heats, whilst hurting, lustful, and writhing, but you knew where you were, the times to eat and to drink water, small breaks, and so on. However, a facility wasn’t your home. It wasn’t familiar, too bright, and had sent you almost panicking, if it weren’t for the powerful, soothing scents of the friendly beta doctors. Your skin was heated, but the sweat had instantly felt like ice as the cool room had touched it.

 You were in the emergency room, a blanket was placed upon you by a sympathetic nurse. Softly telling your thanks, you awaited for the doctor, wanting to be discharged and just to wrap yourself into the familiarity of your nest, wishing that the particular scent that comforted you, yet drove your hormones wild, was there.  

 It was a beta’s scent, you knew. Not too flowery or sweet of an omegas, nor rustic, loud, and too dominant of an alphas. It was in the middle, perfect and soothing, and you felt yourself relax a little by the memory of it. Multiple times, your phone had rang from numbers in which you did not know. You chewed your lip. You managed to grab your handbag, but not the cards, in which had scattered everywhere after your fall. Feeling stressed, you didn’t answer any of them, except the more frantic callers, such as your friends and family.

Another unknown number rang. Admittedly, you were tired, and wanted to chuck the thing against the wall, but you were a little curious, this time. Most of the ringers had stopped, minutes ago. Taking your phone, you pressed the green button as you held it to your ear.

“Hello?” You asked first.

“Hey there, Strawberry. Do ya believe in Fated Mates?” Even through the static of the phone, the person, the man had a rough, yet warm, honeyed voice.  

“Who is this?” You asked, surprised. Was this a joke from the other person? Where they trying to lure you or set you up? Of course your scent had probably reached about everyone, so it didn’t surprise you that he knew of it.

“Orange, vanilla, and maybe sandalwood, ring a bell?” Answered your inward thoughts, and you couldn’t help but stiffen with surprise.  

“How did you know? Who is this?” You pressed for answers, and the stranger delivered.

“Name’s Taishiro Toyomitsu.‘M a beta, so you could imagine my surprise when a scent, of all things, hit me like a freight train, causing me to go into my second rut. Strawberries, cream, and honey, right?” He soothed, letting the information sink into you. It was very plausible and possible. You didn’t tell anybody of the incident, or the details. You believed him, strangely enough.

“Alright.” You decided to cut to the chase in your answer, as your heart had pounded lively within your chest. It was quiet for a second.

“Alright?” Hope was obvious in his tone of voice, and you hummed. It wouldn’t hurt, you were sure in which scent had made you go almost feral, and if the man didn’t smell like it, he could leave. If he did, then probably with you, your heat addled inward thoughts chimed in. It didn’t take you long to tell him which hospital that you were in.

“Ah, the hospital, Babe? Hold on, I’ll rev up my engine, an’ we’ll get to talkin’, alright?” He cooed rather gently, and you found yourself nodding, but told him your agreement, nonetheless.  

 Just as you hung up, the elderly doctor strolled in, smiling politely, yet apologetically. Lavender and chamomile flooded softly throughout the room, soothing your cramped muscles and calmed down your heavy breathing.  

“Hello, many people call me Recovery Lady, but you may call me Chiyo-san! So I’ve heard that this is your third heat, this year? Fated mates are such a lovely thing to see, it being more rare than winning the lottery. Do you mind answering some questions?” She rambled on in the sweet grandmotherly voice, and you couldn’t help but agree, finding yourself climbing down from the panic and stress ever so slowly as you wrapped the blanket tighter around you.

It didn’t take long, you basically asking for her to let in a man with the specified scent, and she agreed.

“Since you’re not in the deeper stages of your heat, being dizzy and tired and weak, you may be discharged, today. Good luck with bonding with your soulmate~!” She chirped as she handed you some papers to sign, and so you did. Of course, being in a more vulnerable state, you had to wait until the mysterious stranger of yours took you home.

 You’ve given yourself time to think upon basically being married, and it didn’t take you too long to not minding it. It was a leap, a rush, a blindfold into the unknown, and yet, you’ve been waiting for this moment. Like most omegas, you wanted to break the stereotype and have a job, a home, and to marry later in life. It was just your preference, and what better way, than to let the stars align somebody for you? Although Chiyo’s scent lingered, you calmed your own self down, by thinking of another, particular scent.

As if a miracle, a soft, yet subtle knock landed on the other side of the door, tore you away from your thoughts. Although a bit nervous, your instincts were oddly more calm, softly singing at you that this was meant to be, and you found yourself more eager, than anything.  

You told him to come in.

The door couldn’t have opened more slowly enough, even if it was basically pushed open with a force of hurried eagerness. You stared at the person equally taking you in, as time seemed to freeze to a screeching halt as sweet oranges and earthy sandalwood spilled into the room along with him.  

 Despite the scent that you’ve craved so dearly was a bit calm, his appearance was a little wild. His too tight of a white tee stained with a bit of motor-oil, contrasted against coal-colored leather jacket and thick, sturdy gloves and ankle-high boots, indicating that he was probably a mechanic, or at least somebody who knew how to read and ride the streets, well. He was large, tall, round, and yet carried a scent that contrasted his appearance. Sharp amber irises stared at you unabashedly as you drank more of him in.

Metallic goggles held up soft yet wild, wind-ridden yellow hair as he thumbed nervously at the chain that was linked to the hem of the pocket of sharp blue jeans.

“Ah, hello, Taishiro.” You greeted a bit too stiffly for your liking, but nervousness was leaking into your scent, and the both of you knew that he could smell it.

“Just Tai’s fine, Sweetheart.” He cooed, and you were glad that the static of the phone didn’t mask his personal voice, this time. You told him your name, and he tried it out, you liking the way it sounded as it rolled off of his tongue.

“So.” He shrugged, giving the silent offer of you taking the reigns in what you had wanted. He stood there, waiting eagerly, yet patiently ready to pounce when you’ve giving the word, and you had to admit, the thought was a pleasant one.

“We ready to go? My place isn’t much, just a flower shop.” You admitted sheepishly, and a warm smile graced his lips.

“Ya wanna talk about it on our way?”

You eagerly agreed, pleasantly surprised by the beta’s sweet demeanor.

……………

He listened very carefully as you all but rambled over the engine’s loud purr. You rather have him drive, and as he agreed, he suggested that you sit in front of him, so that your now over-heated body could cool down, as he gripped the handlebars. Of course, it was a silent excuse for his chest to lean over your back, and him to lean in to hear you. Whether his breathing softly against your ear was intentional or not, it didn’t help the spike of illicit electricity jolt through you while he murmured his input and replies.

Your flower shop came with your home connected to it. Once your grandmother’s, you inherited it as a gift after your graduation in business class. It wasn’t easy. Your parents wanted you to fit in the more “traditional” role as an omega, but your grandmother, an elderly alpha, had fire in her blood and command, had you stay with her, and focus on your studies. Of course nobody dared to temper with the head of the family, and so you were free to focus on yourself. Of course, you had been labeled as the new “heir” of the pack, and not liking that at all, your family cut contact. You shrugged at his sympathetic apology.

“They’re not my problem, anymore.” I have new family, was on the tip of your tongue, but you decided to leave it, for now.  

The ride to your home, wasn’t that long, but the two of you drove slowly, taking the less populated route as the sunset inked the sky in an array of colors. Being winter, the glistening snow on the ground had shimmered with the sky’s dying light, sparkling off twinkles of light, creating a romantic atmosphere all around you.

 Still in slight disbelief, you had still enjoyed pondering over the complexity of the situation. The two of you, in all of the beings in the world, were only a select few who were truly genetically compatible. It was now when it had fully dawned on you, when you felt the cool wind breeze lightly against your clothes and ruffle your hair. The cool air did help sate your heated body, but it was stubborn. Your body wanted to burn up, to spend itself in warmth to relieve the aching between your legs. Him of course, feeling you shiver slightly, could only bring his body closer to you, a silent promise that you’ll be warm, soon.

You gulped, knowing that he could probably smell how enticing your flavors had become, and you couldn’t help but hope that he would want a taste.

Soon, it was very soon. Of course he had explained that he found your location by card, and you believed him, even after he showed you the pink little slip after he parked in your driveway. You were still chilled, and had to reluctantly tear yourself away from his scent that was literally cloaking you.

“What do ya wanna do, Princess?” He asked bluntly, yet there was a shy bite of uncertainty laced in his tone of voice, and sympathy pulled at you.    

“Be in my nest.” You couldn’t help but wish aloud, and he hummed.

“Don’t blame ya, there, Hon. Ya got goosebumps all over ya. I don’t have work, ‘cause of the holidays, but I’ll leave my number here, so ya can call me, in case.” He stated, and you felt surprise.

“You’re...leaving?” You asked in wonder, and he, ready to turn the engine, stilled.

“Um…it’s a private time for ya, right? Besides…I didn’t know, um, what ya wanted….” He was rather sheepish, now, scratching the back at his head as red burned at his ears. Your mind screeched to a halt, as your heart skipped a couple of beats at the sight of a rough n’ rumble biker man, was being coy. You kind of liked it.  

“I would like to learn more about you. We could talk, and I can make extra space in my nest, if you want to stay the night?” You found yourself murmuring rather shyly, yet looking at his surprised look through your lashes.

A loud grin split his features before you could blink, and he hugged you, squeezing your body against his softer, yet stronger one as his scent crashed into you like a wave. Pupils large, you took in a deep, silent breath, basically tasting the oranges on your tongue as a sizzle of heat shot through you and he stiffened.

“I would love to sit with you and talk. I know the ball’s rollin’ a bit too fast, but I’m fine with what you’re fine with.” He hummed soothingly, and that itself helped with the anxious turn in your stomach.

………….

Comfort was an understatement. You were relaxed against him, feeling his chest and body rumble as he spoke, talking with you as you asked your own questions. He was a mechanic, and a biker. Once in a street gang, he disliked the violence, and turned against those who had hurt the weak. His mother loved him, and his step-father emotionally supported him. Either weren’t too thrilled that he liked revving up the streets with his friends and motorcycle, but he never once had broken the law, and was even friends with a few of the officers. He just liked what he liked, and you found yourself respecting that.

Of course, he lived in a decent apartment that wasn’t too shabby, but he had felt that he could use a companion. He chuckled nervously, as you leaned your head back against his chest to stare up at him.

“Ya…ya could say that I was always kinda of a romantic.”  He smiled softly, tucking in a stray hair behind your reddened ear. Of course, him being a beta, wasn’t a sex-craved fiend around omega heats such as alphas were. Yes, you were his mate, but beta’s usually weren’t affected too much by those in heats or ruts, and he, although flushed, was mostly more calm, letting his pheromones wash over you in a sense of security that you’ve been waiting for your whole life.

“If I wasn’t busy focusing on graduating, I was working and distancing myself away from those who were toxic.” You admitted, and although it was a vulnerable statement, you felt it breeze out of you in relief. He looked at your red face in surprise, but didn’t embarrass you further as he ran his fingers softly through your hair, enjoying the sheer intimacy between the two of you in your quiet bedroom nest. You were getting sleepy, he could tell, but since the both of you hadn’t eaten, yet, he kissed your cheek.

“Take a nap, Sweetheart. I’ll be back with somethin’ to eat.” He promised, and you nodded off, feeling him pull away reluctantly, yet wrapping the blankets around you.

……………. Nsfw

It was New Year’s Eve. Two days had passed, since then, and you couldn’t help but like him considerably. It was inevitable, you were hooked. Both being mature adults, the two of you had the potential to carve your ways into having a healthy and communicative relationship. Still early in your heat, he had given you space, giving you pillows and blankets from his home, drenched in his scent. As you rode out your heat, he excitedly told his friends and family that his new mate owned a flower shop, keeping the more secretive details to himself.

 You would have felt guilty, but you couldn’t help but soothe the ache between your legs as you slowly rode one of the pillows that he’d brought you, letting the soft cotton fabric rub against your clit, soaking in your juices, as you buried your face into the blankets that he’d brought you, his scent flooding your heat-raddled senses as your eyes watered with the need of relief. You preferred smaller spaces, shrouding yourself in the boxed in feeling of your closet as the only light was a flickering vanilla candle, chiming in helpfully with Taishiro’s own lingering scent.

It wasn’t enough. Your heart hammered frantically, skipping beats as you bit into the blanket, feeling tears of frustration pool at the corners of your eyes. Usually, a pillow, or even fingers, would do the trick to sate one round of your heats. This was different. Your body knew the potential of what you could have, and now it sung for him, and even desperately rutting up against a pillow or your digits, were futile, now, and only created a mess. You groaned, agitated and unsatisfied as aches of emptiness speared through you.

You didn’t want to use him, or call him to just satisfy your needs, but you were desperate and in pain, and your body this time, was dependent on his scent. Your mind was bordering on delirious after the first three failed orgasms in the next two hours. He was at work, you knew, but his shift would end, soon, and you could just make a call to let him know ahead of time…

You panted lightly into the pillows, a sheen of sweat covered you. Deciding that you had felt icky, you wanted to test if a cold shower would be merciful to you, this time.

………..

He was over the moon, humming happily to himself as he gripped the wrench, tightly twisting the bolt into a right turn, tightening it flush to the metal of the bike. Of course his parents were ecstatic, his friends and co-workers happy for him, and although some tried to hide their jealousy, he brushed it off.

He admitted, he was a little worried. Fated heats and ruts packed a bit more punch that normal, seeing that a lover’s pheromones could naturally make the other go crazy. He would known, his rut lasted more than it should, and he was furiously biting into his pillow, hands clutching at the sheets as he frantically rutted into them, doing nothing but mussing up pre-cum and semen into a giant mess. He never felt so punched, wrought out, and unsatisfied, and he couldn’t imagine what his poor darling was dealing with.

He was surprised when she called, but at the same time, was elated and worried.

“Baby, are you alright?” He didn’t miss a beat when he answered.

“I…I’m not.” Came almost too stiffly, yet the voice broke a little at the end, and he couldn’t help but bite his tongue in a whine. It wasn’t a tough call to know that she was distraught, and he understood. If what packed a punch to him, he couldn’t imagine what it could do to his omega.

His omega. He confirmed mentally, still getting use to the fact that he had a partner, now.

“Honey, are you sure that you want this? You’re in a vulnerable state, right now, and I will not take advantage of ya.” He’d rather set himself on fire, than to live with the guilt of using and hurting his precious partner, but he knew that although rare, an unattended heat or rut could have grave consequences on one’s body. Especially if it was caused by pheromone withdrawal.

“I’m coherent. I know that you should get off work, soon. Unless you don’t want-?” The sentence hung, and he understood her reluctance, then.

“I’ll be there, soon, Dearest. Rest assure, I do want, an’ we can save some pillow talk for later, alright? Ya don’t sound too well, and I’m going to fix that, alright?” He hushed gently, half-aware that his scent was fanning out, yet it was futile.

“Alright.” Came the weak relief of a reply, and he hung up, turning to search for his boss to get the go-ahead to leave, early.

………………….

You could only send a quick “door’s unlocked” text, before drying your hair, wrapping your naked form in a soft blanket, as this time, you flopped on your bed. It didn’t work, if anything, your body tried harder to burn up, warming you up, as well as your stubborn muscles and pheromone couldn’t just get the hint that you needed a break.

He was your last resort. You really did like the thought of him touching you and being affectionate. What you had minded, was him being uncomfortable, or reluctant and not really wanting to make love, yet. Your ears burned.

You desperately called him. While he was at work. Shame and a bit of guilt ate up at you, but your mind couldn’t process it further, as the front door of your bedroom door had flew open, surprising you in your blanketed form. The familiar smell had struck lightening to your senses, as well as of course the new mix of motor oil and grease, but that didn’t deter you.

He was staring at you, pupils blown wide with a sympathetic look that barely drowned out the pure hungry one. You swallowed thickly. He had a dried smear of oil on his face, his hair wild, and he wore a tight, orange shirt, this time. You still had the dried tear stains, your body flushed despite the cool shower, and of course your distressed scent lingered in the air. His shoulders softened as he shut the door, making his way towards you on the bed.

“Oh, Baby, look at ya.” He fretted, cupping your cheeks as he leaned his forehead against yours. You sighed.

“Do you want this?” Was blurted out between the two of you. Faces reddening, he shyly looked down, first.

“I mean…you’re the one in heat, ya know?”

“I didn’t want to just…use you because I was in heat. You’re not a tool, Tai.”

The two of you looked at each other.

He burst out laughing, to your utter dismay.

“What?” You tried, but he wiped his eyes, giving short little huffs as he caught his breath.

“We’re both worried about somethin’ that’s equally consent, right?”

You nodded.

“So we can waste no further time, right?”

“Right.” You answered, and he stared at you, before leaning in to kiss you gingerly. You could scream in relief at the contact, and he moaned into the kiss gripping your hand gently, giving it a soft squeeze. You decided to pull away the blanket covering you, letting him indicate the hint as he all but stripped off his clothes, placing them in the closet, noticing the used pillows that he’d given you.

“They helped?” He murmured, glancing from them to take in your exposed form. You laid there, feeling his eyes rake over you, and you couldn’t help but like the burning intensity from amber pupils as you took him in, as well. His tight shirts paled in comparison to what was underneath. He was a sight to see; muscular, yes, but you loved his roundness, too, and although not really knowing him, he had made you feel comfortable and warm, and things that you don’t usually feel.  

“Considerably. I…don’t use other people’s things like that.” You told the truth shyly, despite the crawling inferno in your abdomen. He couldn’t help but feel the need to just nurture, his beta instincts screaming at him that this is his mate, you need to be taken care of. Going with them, he couldn’t help join you on the bed, seeing that you’ve kept the blanket only around your shoulders. He leaned down and kissed you, running his calloused, worked hands across the goosebumps on your heated shoulders and arms.

It was fluttery and warm, and although it ended a little too soon for your liking, he pecked your cheek, before burying his face into the crook of your neck, letting you do the same as the two of you let each other’s scents of “home” wash over the both of you. Time slowed down for a minute, but then you couldn’t help but let out a low whine as your heat sparked up again, and he of course could smell it directly.

“I wanna take this slow, Honey, but ya look like a wreck wanting to get some relief.” He hummed, gently kissing your ear, relishing in your small shiver.

“I was worse, earlier, but a cool shower and you had helped me, considerably, but I think it’s crawling back up, again.” You whimpered, and he understood.

“Alright. Lemme take care of ya, Sweetlin’.” He murmured, hesitantly breaking away, turning his attention to the literal core of your problems. You looked so flushed down there, sopping wet with slick and just needing to be laved with attention, and so he did. He ignored your small jump and slight yelp as he breached two digits past your folds, and into the loosened muscle of your opening. Of course omegas were born to take it with little resistance, but he was a considerate mate.

 Bringing one of your legs on top of his shoulder, and the other securely around his waist, he eyed your reactions as he slowly pumped now three fingers into your tightness, eliciting small whimpers of approval from you, making his inner beta purr with contentment, knowing that he was soothing and satisfying his hurting beloved intended.  

Your couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut, biting the back of your hand as he scooted down, letting himself being able to properly taste you and your insides fluttered at his bitten moan of approval. Good mate, he was such a good provider. Coming when you were in a dire time of need, making sure that he had full consent. Your legs tightened over his shoulder and waist when his attention went to your bud, lolling it stiffly around his tongue as his fingers pumped, curled, and stretched, and you felt yourself tighten like a bow string, ready to be set loose, any moment.

“Sweetlin’, are ya ‘bout to cum?” He broke away to ask, and you bit out a whine of disappointment at the loss, but nodded your head, anyway as you opened your eyes, seeing him through a constellation of blurry tears as you blinked rapidly.

Sighing softly, he gingerly gave a small kiss to your inner thigh, rather apologetically.

“Don’t fret, Honey. I’ll give you what you want, alright? I’m just makin’ sure that you’re ready, an’ still wantin’ this.” He hummed, and you felt a trickle of relief from his caring sincerity. Your hands, once clenched in the sheets, reached over and stroked his cheek rather gently.

“I’m fine, Darling.” You couldn’t help but gaze upon him rather softly, as he gingerly took your hand that held his cheek, and kissed your palm, letting his nose nestle in the scent glands within your wrist as he returned your equally, gentle look of affection.

“Alright.” He said after your affirmative nod. You were slick and loose, and he guided himself to your opening, pushing the tip of the head in, stilling as you stiffened. He regained his posture to hover over you, bringing his hands upon your breasts, kneading them gently as he leaned down, fawning over you with attention and affection, pushing forward slowly when he felt that your body relaxed more into his kisses.

“That’s it, Honey. Just a little more, alright, Darlin’? You’re doin’ so well, Sweetheart.” He murmured lowly, hot breath fanning over your flushed face as you took him in to the hilt, finally.

You were ready to burst, and he seemed to know it.

“Go ahead and cum, alright? We’ve got other rounds to go. I bet ya’re pent up. Poor thing.” He cooed, letting his gentleness wash over you as you rolled your hips, liking the way that the curved, fat head, hit a certain spot within you. Contrary to belief, omegas didn’t need a knot to be satisfied, and with your only mate, you already were. Taking his cue, he met your thrusts rather ecstatically, giving sharper, shorter ones while not pulling out even an inch, thumbing your clit, cursing as you couldn’t help but feel yourself tighten around him rather harshly. Wanting to receive a biting mark in which signified a mated bond for life, he asked, and you delivered, sharpened canines didn’t think twice to the inner omega’s and beta mate’s command for you to just claim, and you did.

All of the failed attempts of an orgasm, earlier, came crashing into you as the metaphorical bowstring snapped, shooting jolts of electricity and sheer tears of relief flooded your eyes, your teeth had clamped harder onto the spot near his jugular, and he didn’t hesitate to give you his own mating bite, rutting into you rather wildly like a rabid animal, teeth sunken into the skin of your scent glands, marking you as his, as he churned your tightened walls.

He was riding with you through your own euphoria, him stilling, only to flood them with his own release as he let out a pure satisfied groan into your bitten flesh. Staying still fter what had seemed to be multiple minutes, he released his jaw from your wound, as you did the same. The two of you favored to slowly lave at each other’s freshly scarred bites, healing them.

After a while, you broke free, panting harshly as you felt dizzy with relief, having the dreadful heat be sated by such a kind and wonderful lover.

“Might be a lil’ too soon, but fuck it. I love ya.” He panted out as the two of you climbed down from your climatic highs, he making sure that you weren’t seriously too hurt by the bite. He brushed your sweaty locks of hair away from your face, and you cupped his face rather gently, kissing him.

“I love you, as well.” You admitted. Sure it was soon, but you couldn’t care less. He deserved to know that his feelings were reciprocated, and you, feeling relieved and yet tired, wanted him to know it.

“How about we clean up, a little, and continue this later, alright?” He hummed, and you agreed.

………………….

After cleaning up, you rested your head on his arm as the two of you talked about everything and nothing. His scent had actually helped keep your heat at bay longer than originally planned, and so the two of you were content in just the sheer intimacy of lazy pillow talk.

Each admired one’s bite, although it did break the skin and scarred, one’s saliva had healing properties to keep it cleaned and from getting infected. Now and then, he opted to kiss yours, licking a fresh stripe to help keep it cleaned, and you did the same.

You didn’t remember when you had fallen asleep, but you’ve never felt so peaceful within your life, waking up with him gripping you into a tight hug, a string of drool pooled at the corner of his mouth as he snored rather softly. Finding this cute, you checked the time on your clock, and decided to stir and wake him up around midnight, celebrating the New Year with a New Year’s kiss.

………………….

Aaaaaaaaaah. It’s done and took me a little bit longer than I thought it would, but I’m happy with it. For those who’re new to abo, I tried my best to explain, but also throw in some twists (ie our boy being a beta bc they’re Important and need more love).  

The Naked Bum, Ch. 2 (M)

Pairing: Jaebum x Jackson

Genre: Smut

Warning: Exhibitionism, nudism

Word count: 2130

BREAKING IN AND ENTRY

Breaking into one's neighboring house is illegal at first, but to Jaebum, he wanted to meet this new hot guy. There were rumors that he likes to hang with the ladies, and is amazing at fencing, too. Other than the fact he was from China and grew up in the city after the age of four, his smooth talking is a killer feature about this neighbor. Jaebum is more than intrigued to find out about him, as he had finished fucking one of his encounters at the store; which he brought home for "lunch". After he left, Jaebum on his bed, getting up and walking over towards the window. It was halfway opened from the right side, but enough for the gentle breeze to seep through. Placing his arm overhead, he looks through the glass, watching his neighbor bringing home a girl he may have picked up from some bar or possibly from the same store he just came back from.

The nude man didn't want to make himself known to his neighbor, not just yet. He wanted to give him and his company a bit of a show. There was no stopping Jaebum as soon as he starts to run his palm over his enormous erection, leaking out the clear precum through the slit. Small moans were heard from the man's mouth, slowly pumping his big shaft, watching the two just casually talking. The neighbor was stripping off his shirt, possibly trying to seduce her. He was showing some athletic muscle, some bicep and abs, with a light sheen of tone over that magnificent body. That turned on Jaebum, seeing how he will ravish that body all over, licking and sucking those plump nipples with his teeth. "Shit..." he muttered at the thought of it, taking a half step faster on his strokes.

They don't seem to notice Jaebum's actions, as they are willing to stay within their conversation. The girl was clasping her hands together, trying to be polite. His neighbor was grabbing another shirt, unfolding and showing the print to her. She was laughing, but the sound was muted due to their window being closed.

"Bet your girl will like to see you getting pounded by me..." the horny man whispered under his breath. A picture formed in his head with more fantasies, where she will be turned on by his neighbor moaning and panting as Jaebum fucked him raw, pulling his hair. Then they would switch positions and his neighbor will be riding him the next. The sound of his ass being smacked, watching his own large cock thrusting into his tight channel--

His neighbor tossed the shirt to the side, before pointing over to the window. Maybe the room was hot? Just as his neighbor turned, Jaebum initially hide away, only slightly except for his hand rubbing his huge shaft. Then there were some added conversation as Jaebum listened with slightly louder moans.

"... Yeah, I knew it was too hot in here. Feel better?" That was probably his neighbor. He was looking out to Jaebum's window, but he was too far to actually see the image of his dick, so he turned his head.

"Ungh...!" the horny man groaned out, but his neighbor still didn't hear it.

"Yes, thank you. Oh, I'm gonna get some water. Mind showing me to your kitchen?" asked the girl, before his neighbor nodded and shows her out of his room, going downstairs shirtless with her.

Jaebum faintly heard the door closed in the distance. He leaned forward to see them gone. His strokes halted, merely holding the big dick by the base. "What the...? Where did they go?" he questioned in frustration. He wanted to get caught, but that wasn't happening.

The man looked around, releasing the grip on his cock for a moment saw that his neighbor's room is empty. After another minute, an idea crossed his mind. Being horny all the time, Jaebum is always in the need in fulfilling fantasies. One such is actually getting caught while masturbating by someone he knows, or a stranger. The thought of them coming in right when the nudist is about to cum and shoot his big load for the sight to see. It made his throbbing erection twitched at the vision. He wasted no time and heads downstairs and into the backyard. The wooden fence was a little broken due to the bad storm a couple weeks back, so it was easier for Jaebum to fit through. He got into his neighbor's backyard, which his back door was opened. He could hear his neighbor and his guest in the living room.

This was his chance to get in without getting caught while heading upstairs and into his neighbor's bedroom. It was spacious, only having a bed, some clothes in the closet, and many boxes stacked on the corner. On the side of the bed, there was a small box that is half-closed, in which Jaebum opened it and was surprised. There was a bunch of sex toys. Was his neighbor kinky? On top was a fleshlight, a popular item that resembles a rubberized clit with an insertion for any dick to penetrate through. On the other end is a black plastic that houses the semen for when they ejaculate. Shaking it slightly, it was empty.

Jaebum was leaking, and he needed to cum so badly. He remembered what he was here to do: get caught by his neighbor, by his guest, or maybe both. He sat on the edge of the bed and held the fleshlight by one hand and pushes his rock hard dick into the toy and merely starts stroking it, hearing the pleasant sounds of the lube that is already filled on one end of the toy.

Meanwhile, his neighbor walked his guest out because she had something to do later in the evening. He waved before closing the door, cursing himself at the bad timing.

Then there was loud grunts coming from upstairs. His neighbor raised a brow and glanced up to where his room is. He didn't remember inviting anyone else in. With each cautious step, the man walked towards the stairs.

The nudist started to stroke faster with each pump of the fleshlight, watching how his big cock actually fits the toy before tilting his head back in pleasure. He moaned loudly, hearing someone already coming up the stairs. He didn't stop himself from fucking the sex toy.

His neighbor wondered if someone has broken into his house. Trying to follow the sound, it was getting louder and louder, coming from his room. "Who's there?" he called out.

Jaebum didn't respond, feeling himself about to explode by the time his neighbor will come in. He growled in lust, spreading his legs a bit wider before moving the toy in and out faster. "Oh fuck!!" he was about to cum. The man opened his bedroom door, and saw Jaebum in all of his bare body glory. The naked man was furiously fucking the toy, his pelvis thrusts upwards. His dark hair was a mess, looking like he just woke up or probably someone has pulled his hair while pounding their ass. But his body was entirely well built and muscled, while his biceps bulge at every movement.

"Right on time..." the naked man said, looking up to his neighbor up close, seeing how handsome he looks. "I'm gonna cum!!! Ahhhh here it comes...!" he shouted in orgasm before pulling the toy away and used his free hand to pump once to erupt the first stream of cum into the air, some have shot into the ceiling. His neighbor was already in the bedroom, but only inches after entering through the door. The next four shots were towards his neighbor's shirtless body. It was quite the distance, and the amount was so thick and plenty, it was like a big splash of white liquid splattered all over him.

The nudist smirked and shot one last load, thrusting his hips up against his hand as it trickled down to the floor. He was roaring out in pleasure while he orgasmed and finally felt his lust subsiding for a split second. His neighbor was at awe from the hottest sight he has seen. He stood there for a moment longer, only eyeing at Jaebum before moving towards his thick erection. He thought Jaebum was going soft after all that cum, but it was still hard. And the naked man started to stroke again. He made that wild smirk at his neighbor.

"You like that, neighbor?" he asked the other man, licking his lips.

His neighbor was at a lost of words. He does, but then he wasn't sure how to say it together. Using both fingers, he took the nude man's cum from his shirtless body and tastes it for himself.

It was the best taste ever. Somewhat salty, but still so thick and hot. He walked closer, as Jaebum bit his lower lip. From the distance his big cock was just already at the impossible like size, but up close, it was even more huge.

"Why don't you come and give it a lick?"

The other man was mesmorized at the size, and went down on one knee before Jaebum, reaching for his huge cock and took the length to his mouth. It was too big, even for his mouth to fit. He looked up, seeing the naked man's eyes, which are full of lust. This was too hot of a scene to have a nude intruder entering his home. But he didn't care at this point. He wants to please Jaebum more than anything. His wet caverns were covering the entire length. How can anyone be this big and hard? "Bet you can't do this with other guys, hm? Are they as big as me?" Jaebum asked, coursing his fingers over his neighbor's hair. The other man could only shake his head, before pulling himself out. "You're the biggest... Never seen a cock like this..." he whispered, sliding his tongue on the side of the fat erection. Then he lowered himself forward. That made Jaebum smirk even more devishly. "Fuck, man... I'm bust... You want my load in your whore mouth...?" he asked, merely taking both hands over the side of his neighbor's head and pushes his thick shaft deeper, hitting the back of his throat with a loud groan. His neighbor could barely hold back his tears, closing his eyes to focus better. It was so good, having his mouth stuffed like that. Jaebum is a sex god for sure. "Ahhhhhh.... Yeah, I'm gonna cum!!!" Jaebum shouted in pleasure, finally unloading the first three streams of cum into the man's throat. The streams were too hot, and too much to intake in one go. "Ohhhh yeahhhh!!!..." he pulls his big cock out, and strokes it more, unleashing another five more cum shots onto his neighbor's face and lips. The other man was sweating, trying to pant and opened his slightly swollen jaw, trying to catch the next heavy loads. The rest were landing over his forehead, dripping down towards the already soaked floor. Jaebum's chest heaved in orgasm, tilting his head back as the shots were short and trickled. He nudged his big dick, before holding the base of it. By the time he opened his eyes, he sees Jaebum still jerking his hard, throbbing dick. How much stamina does this guy have?! The naked man bit his lower lip, giving his large cock a couple more jerks, languidly slow and sensual. "That was good, baby... Now I want you to ride me... Take those pants off and ride this big cock..." They fucked again. And again on the wall. And once more next to the window. Once the neighbor was exhausted, he was on the bed, his ass and legs moist with sweat and heavy amounts of semen, his ass was red and pink. He was panting heavily, trying to gather strength. But before he could speak a word, he used his head to glance over to where Jaebum was. There he was, standing next to the window. His back, muscular and coursed with defined shoulders, was shown. By the time he turned his body around... He was still jerking his erection, with that same lust over his face and eyes. "You think I'm done?" he said, his huge erection throbbed and shot another stream of cum towards his neighbor's direction. "Oh no, baby... We're just getting started."

Rough Nights

sawamura daichi x reader warnings: night terrors word count: 2200+ A/N: this is very fluffy and wholesome and makes me extremely happy inside. It gets kinda deep at some points bc I was writing this when I was feeling the exact same way as y/n and got in my feelings ( ˘•̥ _•̥ ˘ ) sadly it didn’t work out the same as this but you know what it is what it iz. I hope you enjoy reading ( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ） Snow cascaded down from the sky at an alarming rate. The wind was blowing through the giant pine trees, and the combination of the two made it impossible to see more than a hundred metres into the distance. I blew into my cup of cocoa, steam blowing back into my face. Even if we weren't able to go outside, I was still content here. Surrounded by those who I hold dear.

Every winter holiday, we would travel with our family friends, the Sawamura's, up to the mountains. We had a house up here, where we could stay and hide away from the rest of the world, even if it was only for a couple of weeks. Due to our lives being so busy this was the only time out of the entire year, except for maybe a couple of dinners, we were able to catch up. I treasured it a lot, seeing as I would consider Daichi Sawamura to be one of my closest friends. Maybe I felt him to be a bit more than that, but I could never tell him. I wouldn't want to ruin the relationship we have built throughout our lives. I could never do that.

When we were children, we spent our time up here outside. The days consisted of snowball fights and snowmen. We'd spend our time covering the backyard with snow angels, each pair doing different activities. At night the fresh layer of snow would cover it up, and we'd spend the next day doing it all over again.

However, as we got older, our time outside slowly got shorter. As the workload of middle school began, then high school, and now college, we barely have time to run around like we used to. Instead, we would move a table to the living room, so we could stay cosy in front of the fire as we worked, and watched our younger siblings do what we used to.

With age, feelings began to grow. Feelings nursed each day as I spent every second with him. Feelings that grew consistently until it was time for us to go home again. It was a painful yet magical cycle, every year they simmered until we would see each other again, and then they boiled until we were separated. Because of this, even at the age of twenty, I had never had the time for anyone else. In my mind, no one could compare.

I think the part that was the most painful was the fact that I was too afraid to talk about it with him. It just seemed impossible. He was like a fantasy that I got to see once a year, someone who could do no wrong. What would happen if I shared my feelings with him? I was scared, scared that if I told him how I truly felt the feelings wouldn't be reciprocated and it would hurt what we already have. I suppose this is how it is when you build a friendship with someone only during good times. How are you able to rock the boat when neither of you knows how the other person reacts under that kind of pressure?

I sipped my cocoa, closing my eyes in pleasure at the creamy taste.

"You alright there?"

Daichi Sawamura was humorously staring at me from across the table. The table scattered with an excessive amount of paperwork. College work.

I groaned. "I would say I'm anything but alright at the moment." I glanced down at the essay I had stopped writing mid-sentence as I got lost in the outside world and my thoughts. Is it wrong that I wanted to set it on fire? I despised this unit.

"Now, now, it can't be that terrible, can it?" Daichi stood up from his chair and moved around to my side of the table. "Let me have a look." Sure enough, the man who wasn't even studying the same course as me was able to understand the content better than I had. Instead of doing his own work, he helped me complete mine until the only light illuminating the room was the glow of the fire and everyone else in the house had made their way to bed.

"I think I'm going to sleep," he had yawned. "I'm exhausted, and I really want to be able to go skiing tomorrow without falling asleep standing up." His arms extended over his head as he leant back in his chair, face scrunched in a tired stretch. The white, long sleeve shirt he wore had lifted just slightly to reveal his lower abdomen, and I watched as his muscle rippled.

Lowering my eyes back down to my now completed paper, I gulped, before looking around in search for any other coursework to do. The thought of going to bed right now flustered me to no end. You're probably wondering why? Well, my younger sister had convinced our parents to allow her boyfriend to come away with us. The only catch? They were not permitted to share a room. Daichi was kind enough to allow him to sleep in his room. Do you see where I am going with this? We don't have any spare rooms in the house. He has to sleep in my room.

Our parents have decided that we're old enough and responsible and that they wouldn't have to worry about anything happening. And whilst they're absolutely right in saying that nothing was going to happen, it didn't mean it wasn't going to slowly kill me inside that Daichi was sleeping in the same bed as me.

Not being able to find any work to start at that moment, I simply nodded my head in agreement. That we did, in fact, need to go to bed if we wanted to be functioning humans tomorrow, and began to pack away all of my loose pieces of paper. I couldn't say anything; I was too nervous.

Daichi, who had already packed up his belongings, stood from the table, and cheerfully smiled at me, "I'll see you in a minute then!" He walked out of the living room, humming.

Realising that I wasn't breathing, I released a big sigh before hitting my forehead against the edge of the table dramatically. "Stupid." I had to get a grip on myself before I made it even more apparent.

I took a ridiculously long amount of time to get ready for bed. Trying to build up as much courage as I could, before I walked into my bedroom. My eyes immediately landed on Daichi, sprawled out over the covers, his phone in his hand. Thankfully, he was fully dressed in black tracksuit pants and an old volleyball tournament shirt. I don't know if I could have handled his typical sleeping attire, and I was glad he'd thought of how comfortable I would be.

Noticing my arrival, he sat up and smiled. "I was waiting for you," Tilting his head to the side, he gestured to the bed. "How do you want to work this?"

I clapped my hands together before walking over to my closet, trying to contain my nerves. "Mum keeps all of the spare pillows in here! I thought we could create a little wall of something?" I reached up toward the top shelf of the closet, trying to grab the pillows which were just slightly too high up for me to grasp. I became very aware of the cold air on the back of my thighs and silently cursed at myself for wearing pyjama shorts that were just a little bit too short.

I turned around to Daichi with a pout, and he laughed at me before making his way over to help.

Eventually, we managed to create a wall of pillows down the centre of the queen-sized bed. I flipped off of the lights, before quickly running back to the bed and jumping underneath the covers with a squeak. One thing that always scared me was the dark.

Daichi chuckled softly, "Goodnight, (y/n)-chan."

I was glad it was dark so he couldn't see how red my face must have been. "Goodnight, Daichi-san." I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, trying to distract my mind from any thoughts that shouldn't be there.

My breath hitched in my throat, and I woke up gasping for air.

I had a reoccurring dream, one that I would only get when we were away on this particular trip. When we were younger, around nine or ten, Daichi and I would often go exploring in the forest that surrounded the holiday house. Except, one time we got lost. It grew dark, and eventually, our parents found us. I've had dreams about it ever since, my imagination running wild with what could have happened to us.

Panicked, I tried to slow my breathing down to a regular pace but to no avail. I felt like I was choking on air.

A hand began to stroke my hair. "Are you alright?" I could feel the vibration of their voice right in front of my face like I was pressed into someone's throat. That was enough to stop air from entering my lungs altogether. I tensed up but immediately relaxed when their fingers made their way to my scalp, slowly beginning to rub.

As I calmed down, I became more physically aware. I noticed that I was indeed wrapped up in Daichi's arms. Legs tangled together, my face pressed into his neck. He had one hand wrapped around my waist, the other softly stroking my head. It was so soothing that I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I didn't care about what happened to our pillow wall; I wanted to stay like this forever, bundled up in his warmth, listening to the soft sounds he was making to soothe me. The scent of rosewood intoxicated my mind as I inhaled deeply. I felt him bury his nose into my hair, drawing in a large breath before his chest slowly moved up and down in an even rhythm. My mind relaxed even more, and I drifted into a tranquil sleep just as a pair of lips pressed tenderly against my forehead.

I was woken again, but this time not from a nightmare. A loud rumbling sound ripped through my left ear and I jumped in shock, accidentally bumping Daichi in the process. He let out a loud groan.

"Jesus Christ," I managed to whine out, clutching my ear. "Do you keep a train up there?"

A sleepy laugh sounded from Daichi which made me melt on the spot. He pulled me closer into the warmth of his chest. "Mmm, maybe I do. Sorry about that." He began to press small kisses against my ear and on the top of my head before I felt his breathing start to slow down, and he slowly dozed off again.

This definitely felt like a dream to me, and maybe that's why we were both so okay with it happening. The reality of the night was different from the reality of the day. At night you could get away with anything. There were no boundaries. People were different, more confident in the dark. I nuzzled my face against his neck, gently placing a soft kiss right underneath his ear before I drifted off again.

The feeling of hair being pulled behind my ear roused me from my slumber. I could feel the light shining against my eyelids, making it almost painful as I opened them. Immediately, Daichi pulled his hand back like he'd been caught.

It was a picturesque scene, the curtains had been slightly drawn, and sunlight was peaking through, beaming from behind Daichi like he was an angel. The sight brought a small smile to my face. I'm not sure when, but we had separated ourselves, and he laid on the other side of the bed."Sorry about that. I didn't mean to wake you," he murmured out, scratching behind his ear as though he was embarrassed. His biceps flexed as he did so, and I couldn't help but blush as I remembered those exact arms had wrapped around me so intimately last night. My heart rate sped up.

Neither of us said anything for a while. We just laid there in peaceful silence. Breathing in slowly, I drew in the scent of rosewood. I closed my eyes in ecstasy, and hummed happily. It may have been the most delicious scent I had ever smelled in my life.

I flickered my gaze back to Daichi. I was too nervous about bringing up what had happened last night. So many questions ran through my brain. Did this mean he felt the same way I did? Or was he just trying to comfort me? What does this mean now?

Somehow, I blocked them out. They were ruining the moment. All I wanted to think about and all I was going to think about was how lovely it felt to be wrapped up in his arms.

A realisation came over me. I didn't just want to remember it. I wanted to experience it every night for the rest of my life. A sense of motivation seemed to take over my brain, and I opened my mouth, ready to confess.

We moved again Feb 1st because the roommate was getting bizarre and toxic so that was terrible (like complaining about every small thing, no basic respect or benefit of the doubt despite acting like being a mellow person and being kind and easy to talk to- it’s so wild when someone’s actions don’t match their attitude at all.. the whole ‘don’t do business with friends’ concept applies here, what a waste of money)

Obviously the rent is going to kick my ass since my bf is physically disabled (really bad chronic pain from muscle degeneration from an illness he had, he does his best but can’t stand for long periods and is recovering from a lot of PTSD from his family and from a brief hired-military stint before we met because they told him he was dying [95% chance of death] so he wanted to make money quickly).. I’m sole breadwinner and the US is a nightmare to try to get disability payments in, although we are going to keep trying. Point is, money will be very tight.

BUT! Love the new space. Two bedrooms, so we have one as the TV room/ferret play room so I have my cozy book-reading living room without that overstimulation of a TV which is fantastic. Gas stove, which he’s thrilled by as an ex head chef. Our elderly rescue dog will appreciate the space (and the lack of toxic roommate- we adopted her in November when we were living with the crappy person and didn’t know yet that it was going to get weird).

It’s a duplex style (but it’s 4 units), it feels a lot like renting a house because we’re on ground floor and there’s a big wood layered back porch thing that has stairs that lead to a simple shared backyard, a lot of windows and just the right amount of space for my antique furniture and tons of space on the walls for art. One-year lease offers a sense of security too.

Boyfriend has been away because of a funeral of his dearest relative who raised him. It was cancer- She wasn’t dead yet when he left Washington state so I feel very sad for him that he didn’t make it in time to say goodbye. But there was peace in knowing we did everything we could- he got stuck in the snowstorm on the road to Arkansas but he was in the good hands of my trucker ex wife (I know, lmao) who is one of the best drivers in the company. (They got along swimmingly! Bffs now it seems- it makes me laugh). He made it to the (outdoor, social distanced) funeral for her so in a way it went as well as it could have for what was meant to be. He’s taking it well and the whole thing kind of unfolded a lot like a movie, there’s a weird amount of healing that happened for him during the trip, he saw a lot of old enemies who want him dead (as I said, some PTSD from family.... homophobic family for instance, he was exclusively dating men in his youth) but he also reconnected with the family that loves the hell out of him including kids he grew up with that are now adults and have their own families and so it’s like having new family who actually love him. But it’s almost like going back there with good company (trucker ex was an amazing support system- she’s trans and a very affirming warm and dark-humor personality, perfect company for the trip- we weren’t meant to be together forever as teammates but she’s still a fantastic person) really kicked some sort of healing into gear, his attitude has shifted vastly from the default constant anxiety he deals with and his grief is there but he seems at peace.

So he’s been gone for 3 weeks and my immediate family teamed up with me to help take care of the senior rescue dog and ferrets while I work my 12+ hour shifts (bless them) and the fun part is, we had hardly finished unpacking from the move when he got the news she was dying- so since he’s been gone, each ‘weekend’ I go back to our new place and unpack and decorate with my project-hyper-productive mom assisting me, and it’s going to be SO freaking fun for him to arrive back and see our new place looking beautiful and amazing with a new rug in the hall and everything put away and art on the walls. It won’t fully be finished but it looks beautiful already. So that will be lovely after 3 weeks apart. Also our dog will be over the moon to see him- she’s a daddy’s girl, absolutely adores my bf so I’m proud that she wasn’t more livid about his absence for this long- she’s doing a great job. She’s a Staffordshire Terrier (so under the pit bull umbrella) just got to 3 months living with us, and she was abandoned and left to starve in Texas and she was 10 years old already when the shelter found her on the streets. She spent 4 months with a foster family before we adopted her and she was sent to us. She’s a nice 50lbs now. She’s doing amazing with all these unintentional changes (the move, my bf going to the funeral and being gone for 3 weeks, being around my parents a lot and staying in their basement together so they can help me take care of the pets).. I’m training her a lot and I’m very proud of the progress she’s made. She learned ‘lay down’ recently and she gets very excited to train because she loves treats. She still reactive-barks when someone comes in the door, she resource-protects people via barking (aka she doesn’t want someone to ‘take’ me from her, so she barks when people come in or random noises) but she’s making a ton of progress redirecting her attention back to me and is doing it way less. We used to not be able to leave her alone at all because she gets VERY upset if closed alone in a room so we didn’t know if she could handle it. But she’s doing amazing when I’m at work and her separation anxiety is a lot lower now, she gets a little mad once I go into another room but she naps while I’m at work and behaves very well. I’m just very proud of her, she’s amazing. She’s learning to hit a bell to tell us when she has to go potty. I’m teaching her ‘touch’ to boop things with her nose and she did it for the very first time by herself recently and I was so freaking excited. So we’ll keep practicing to see if it sticks.

That’s a little life update thing.

The Things Made of Spare Body Parts

It all started two months ago. A guy was walking his dog in the park when he saw a dead body in the bushes. He was startled but thought it may have been a botched robbery. The police were called, and it was going to be a regular investigation. The troubling evidence came during the autopsy. She was missing seven teeth, three ribs and her femur. At first, it seemed that the murderer was some sick bastard that took his prize from his victim, but there were no wounds on the woman’s body. She was missing ribs, but her torso was completely intact as well as her leg that had a femur taken from it. The missing teeth could have been due to previous bad hygiene, but it didn’t explain the other missing bones. There were no cuts or scars on her skin which would indicate surgeries or injuries at the scene. It was like they were plucked from her body without a trace.

I work as a news anchor in town and have close relations with public authorities, including the police; guys I’ve worked with for the past 12 years were too scared to tell me about the crime. It was agreed we’d do the story about a murder in the park but leave out the missing bones until an adequate explanation came up. Just three days later, another body surfaced. This time, it was a man in his shower. Initially authorities thought he slipped and died from a head injury, but there were no signs of trauma. Another autopsy was performed, and more chilling evidence was discovered. He was missing his jaw and all the bones in his right hand were gone. Again, no cuts, scars or signs of injury were evident. It was as if the same guy who killed that poor woman killed him as well. I did a deep dive on the two people using social media and any conversations the families would give me but there was no connection. She was married with a husband, he was a single guy who moved into town a few months ago. They didn’t work together, go to the same church or grocery store for that matter. Police were curious if the two were having a relation behind her husband’s back and he was getting revenge, but that theory was squashed almost immediately. The husband was out of town for a business trip during both deaths and had receipts and alibis to prove it. There was a killer on the loose, who took two victims with no ties to each other.

The next week, another man was killed. He was found in his bed without a trace of foul play. The autopsy revealed there were no traces of drugs or alcohol in his system that would’ve killed him, along with no signs of breaking into the home. He was missing his right radius (bone in your forearm), six vertebrae from his spine, his patella (knee cap) and his left ankle. For simplicity, I will stop using all the medical names for the bones in the body. We’re not all anatomy experts, I work on television for God’s sake. Again, there were no signs of injury that would give any indication on how the bones went missing. His coworker didn’t hear from him for three days and couldn’t get into his house. He called the cops and saw his dead body with the officers. I went down to the police station the next day to speak with the chief of police personally, but he was as clueless as I was. He said they’ve been doing everything they can to make a connection or place a person at the crime scenes, but it was getting difficult. They’ve spoken with over 20 people in the past week and gained nothing from it. As we were in the middle of our conversation, a call came in.

The next death was another man. He was found at his dining room table with his meal still on the plate. His lifeless body draped over the chair. There was no blood, no injuries; he looked asleep as far as I was concerned. His wife was questioned but ruled out as a suspect. She was out having dinner with her parents when it happened. Again, an autopsy was performed and revealed he was missing all the bones in four fingers, the bones in his left foot and his left shoulder. I rode along with the officer to the scene and saw the horror in his eyes filled with utter cluelessness.

I went home to investigate online and see if this was a cult tactic or an ancient practice. I was listening to music and reading conspiracy theory blogs when I heard a door in my house open. I assumed it was my wife and went back to reading as if nothing happened. Within seconds, I felt a cold arm around my neck. It squeezed as I flailed my arms around. I looked and reached for my neck but saw nothing more than a black mass. I put my foot against my desk and pushed which knocked me out of my chair. As soon as I hit the ground, the pressure around my neck disappeared and I heard every door from my office to the front door slam shut. My wife came running down to see what happened and I told her I had no clue. I called the police, but their investigation provided nothing. The front door was intact and locked when they arrived.

The following week, two officers were killed. One was sitting on his phone at the front desk and the other was taking his break. Neither showed any signs of trauma but the police cameras caught them thrashing for their lives as it looked like their souls were sucked from their bodies. The total count of missing bones was 16 spine vertebrae, 11 fingers, a right foot, nine ribs, a right shoulder, all three bones in a leg, and a skull. His face was untouched but lay lifeless like an uninflated balloon. The police issued an emergency broadcast the following day pleading people to stay indoors and avoid the areas where these crimes happened. I watched it from my office as I continued to study the crimes and I drew a conclusion. All these murders happened to people when they were most vulnerable. The woman was out alone in the park, the first guy was taking a shower, the other was sitting down to have dinner. I had headphones on when I was attacked, and the two officers were relaxing when they died. It wasn’t the greatest clue, but it was something. I went to the police department immediately. I told the police chief about my findings and he wasn’t thrilled about it. He knew if I was right that their emergency broadcast meant nothing. You could stay inside your house all day, but everyone must sleep, use the restroom, and can’t just have a buddy with them at all hours of the day.

I made another chilling discovery through all of this. There’s almost a full human body worth of bones missing from the victims. Granted, no brains, eyes, tendons, or muscles are missing, so it’s not as if a full functioning human body is going to appear from this, but it’s still horrifying to me.

The next day, another body was found. It was a woman who was grilling herself a meal in the backyard. I’ll save the details, every bone which makes a full body was taken from her; along with her skin. I had to cover the story, it’s a crime to hide this from people who only want to be safe. My story went live, and I got a call from the police department, a new transfer wanted to speak with me in private. I drove over to the station to speak with the new guy but there was something weird about him. His body was a weird shape as if he had a disorder which affected his growth. I also noticed his bones cracked a lot when he walked. It was weird to me, but not enough to mention anything, I didn’t want to offend the poor guy.

We sat down in an uncomfortably small room where he sipped his coffee, sunglasses still hugging his bumpy face.

“So, you’re really looking into these killings.” He said.

“Yeah, I’m a news anchor, this is my job, sir.” I replied.

“Well I’ll have you know I’ve been on the force for over 20 years, I recommend you let me handle this.” He said.

“Why?” I quickly asked.

“Because, I don’t need people like you getting in the way of my business.” He said.

I could tell there was a lot of hostility and tension in the room and the police were a pivotal role in my job.

“Sir, I’m only trying to help you. How could I be a bother?” I asked.

He pulled his sunglasses down to reveal dark holes where his eyes should be. His clenched teeth showed visible gaps as if he didn’t have nearly half a full mouth of teeth. He looked as if he could jump on me in an instant.

“Because, I’ve already tried to kill you once. Don’t make me try again.” He quickly replied.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“Because you’re oblivious. Thinking you’re safe in your own home is a lie that everyone falls for. You think that the human body is strong but there are countless possibilities where it can all fall apart. Bones can be broken, tendons torn, simple viruses can send your body into a shellshock causing you to hope some manmade medicine can magically fix you. If you want to live in the deception that you’re safe and nothing will happen to you, that’s where others will find their chance to take advantage. Nobody is safe and life isn’t a guarantee, I’ve proven this several times in the past few weeks.” He said. “I walked these same streets before you were born, and my life was ripped away from me. I’m getting it back, even if I have to do it piece by piece, and there are hundreds like me that are itching for their chance as well. I came up with this idea and gave it a shot. If you think you have a snowball’s chance in hell at stopping us, good luck. Leave me alone and forget about these little coincidences as well.”

“Are you a ghost?” I asked in wild curiosity and fear.

“Well, some people would call me a ghost. Others might say a demon, a poltergeist.” He said. “I don’t worry much about it.”

“How many people will you kill?” I asked.

“I’m done killing, this is my body now. As far as the others, who knows how many they will kill.” He replied, casting neither a worry nor concern. “Get away from here as soon as you can. I was the first one to do it. I risked it all while the others silently watched. Now that they know it’s possible, who knows how many will make their rounds through the next few weeks. Get out of here and take anyone you care about with you. This town belongs to us now.”

hurricane. (teenager!frank castle x reader)

A/N: okay so this was originally one of the dialogue prompts but i decided to make this a au one-shot if that’s alright with everybody. its a bit all over the place and messy but i’ll just say that that’s my writing style lololol. please send in requests if y’all would like.

request: hi! i love your writing! can you do “i said i love you” and “quit it or i’ll bite” with frank castle? thank you very much! 

(thanks for loving my writing sweetcheeks. makes me feel fuzzy inside, also sorry it took so long)

It was an unspoken rule between you and Frank to never disclose the details of your relationship to those who asked. There was never any specific reason for it—it’s not like you and Frank had anything to hide—it was just…an unspoken pact between you two.

When people came up to you two during lunch and asked the same old question of “Are you guys dating? Or just really good friends?”, they always received the same answer:

“Yes.”

It became a game after a while. How many people could you guys confuse today? Who’s the next one to ask?

You understood why everyone asked. You and Frank were way too close to just be considered best friends, and whether that is due to the sheer amount of years you and Frank have been friends or because there’s a chemistry you have with him that runs deeper than blood, you’re not entirely sure on.

The only thing anyone really knows, is that if you want (Y/N) (L/N), you won’t get her without her bodyguard Frank Castle, and if you want Frank Castle, you won’t get him without his life advisor (Y/N) (L/N).

You guys come in a pair. There’s no use in trying to separate the two of you.

You and Frank have been best friends since you were six when you moved into the house right next-door to him. You didn’t know anyone and he was a shy boy who didn’t have many friends.

“A match made in heaven.” proclaimed your mothers. (Your mothers already planned the wedding.)

There wasn’t a day you two didn’t spend together, whether riding your bikes to the stream near your houses to playing some sport in your front yards to watching his mother’s extensive collection of movies at his house to camping in his backyard. Even when you were sick, he was always there to sail the storm with you.

The majority of your youth days were spent together and as puberty hit, that bond only grew stronger. When your only other friends seemed to split apart from you and follow boys and Frank’s “no bullshit” mentality strengthened, it only made sense that the two of you would draw to each other like magnets.

That was when the rumors started. In junior high, when people began to notice how Frank would always wait for you at lunch and you would always take him home after school; When people began to notice that when they run into you outside of school, Frank was always by your side; When people began to notice that a majority of the stories you told only involved Frank.

So, yes, you understand why everyone asks, because in all honesty, you and Frank choose to not do anything to quell the rumors. In fact, you knowingly add more fuel to ever growing fire.

He was your date to junior prom (and is your current date to the senior one) and when you both showed up with matching outfits everyone literally “awed” at the sight of you; For your sixteenth birthday, he gave you a necklace with his name engraved on it that you have yet to take off; Your Instagram is filled with pictures of him with very cryptic captions that borderline romantic and to anyone not paying attention, would seem like you guys are an item.

There was even a time where everyone thought you were married. You and Frank had shown up to school one day with gold bands on your left hands and never said anything until someone pointed them out. People asked relentlessly, but you never confirmed nor denied.

That happened over a year ago, but you’re pretty sure some people still think you’re married. (I mean, you guys practically are. You argue like a married couple, you love like a married couple, so really it wouldn’t be a shocker.)

For god’s sake, even the teachers think you guys are a thing! It’s drawn the attention of the entire school for some reason without you and Frank having to move a muscle.

It gets annoying sometimes, but you’ve gotten used to it.

Besides, even you can admit it: You and Frank are a hella cute couple.

It’s Wednesday, meaning your school has an hour lunch block and you’re sitting at your usual round table with your usual friend group of Curtis Hoyle, Karen Page and David Lieberman.  

You sit with your right leg thrown over Frank’s lap, stealing a couple of stale fries from his lunch tray as he sits with his left arm thrown over the back of your chair and his right arm gently stroking your leg on his lap. There’s a large smile on your face from Curtis’ wild antics, and the sight of it puts a smile on Frank’s.

(It’s kind of hard for it not to. Everything you do puts a smile on Frank’s face.)

“I’m just sayin’ man!” Curtis laughs from his seat in front of you, throwing his hands up in mock surrender as everyone at the table watches, “She was ogling you the whole period! Natalie Rushman was makin’ goo-goo eyes at you during Fury’s lecture!”

Frank waves his hand in the air, scoffing and throwing his head to the side with a smile on his face, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, man!”

Curtis points an accusing finger at Frank, slamming his elbow down on the table and staring at him with intense eyes, making everyone at your table laugh.

“I ain’t making this shit up! Listen, if you ain’t gettin’ on that, I will. Make your move now or I’m swooping in.”

Frank shakes his head at Curtis, moving his hand to his tray of fries and smacking yours away so he could grab three before plopping all of them into his mouth. His voice is muffled as he speaks, “Go ‘head.”

He rubs the crumbs on his hands on his jeans while looking down at you on his left and giving you a warm smile, “I already got what I need.”

Your three friends all groan at the comment, rolling their eyes and muttering to themselves. You give Frank a loving stare, gently pinching his cheek and giggling before feeding him another stale and cold fry.

Karen, who was seated between David and Curtis, places her forearms against the lunch table and stares at you and Frank, “When are you both going to come to terms with reality and realize that you are in love with each other?”

She tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and you give her a faux innocent look, furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head to the side.

“What do you mean? We’ve already picked out the names of our kids. There’s nothing we really have to come to terms with,” You put a fry in your mouth and chew contentedly.

Karen’s mouth drops slightly, the corners of her lips slightly pulling back as she darts her eyes from Frank’s satisfied smirk to your innocent one. She huffs out a laugh and runs her hand through her hair, slowly shaking her head, “I don’t know if that was a joke or not.”

David takes a sip from his carton of chocolate milk, raising one eyebrow up and glancing at Karen, “Who knows at this point?”

Frank places his hand on the back of your neck, gently dragging his fingertips across the skin there. You shy your body away from the touch, letting out a whine.

“Quit it or I’ll bite.” You try and give him a threatening stare which only makes him smirk in response.

(And it’s one of those lopsided ones that makes him look so charming and sexy and it’s no surprise that every girl that meets Frank has a crush on him.)

“Make me.”

“Y’know what Castle— “

“Alright, look.” Curtis draws the attention back to himself, “The sexual tension is too much. As your closest friends, we deserve a right to know—” his eyes dart from Frank to you, pausing for dramatic effect.

“—are you guys gonna fuck?”

Karen smacks her hand against Curtis’ shoulder while David laughs loudly, throwing his head back and releasing the sound to the ceiling. Even the loud chatter of the surrounding students couldn’t drown out the volume of his laughter. Curtis grips his arm in pain, rubbing it and staring at Karen with a hurt look.

Frank looks back at you, a smile on his face that mirrors your own. Frank enjoys watching people twist and turn to find out the details of your relationships and you are nothing but complacent in his pleasure. You don’t really care what people think or what they want to know, but whatever makes Frank happy.

You turn your head and look at Curtis’ expectant eyes, gracefully shrugging your shoulders, “That’s on a need to know basis.”

Curtis throws himself back into his seat in frustration, earning a giggle from Karen as he mutters to himself, “Yeah, yeah, and I don’t need to know. Pfft, I don’t even know why I ask.”

David suddenly puts down his carton of milk, looking at you with wide eyes, “Hey! Are we still on for that trip after graduation?”

The trip in question, was the annual camping trip you and your family take from New York to Connecticut after school ends. The drive only took a day or two with few pit stops at restaurants or to see some sights, but it would take you to a beach house your family owned during the summer. You would spend the two weeks at the house either going to the beach or driving to some other place near the coast.

The house was special to you. It was where you and your siblings grew up, and was where the extended family would get together for the summer to just enjoy each other’s company. It was where you and Frank had accidentally kissed, and was where your platonic relationship with Frank suddenly became more.

(Although, no one else knew that.)

The house was where you felt, for the first time in your life, truly beautiful, with Frank’s large hands exploring your body underneath the moon in the crashing waves of the beach. The house was where Frank placed his lips on yours and told you how special you were to him. The house was where Frank placed his head on top of your stomach in the sand while you ran your hand through his hair, and told you how he had never felt things the way he felt with you. The house was where you realized your feelings for Frank, were no longer one-sided. The house was where you realized that Frank was the only one for you, and will only ever be the one for you.

The house was more than just a house: it was a haven that you could escape to when things got rough; It was your sanctuary, your little bubble of good things. It was home.

You were excited to share your home with your closest friends, showing them—but never telling—why this place was so special to you, one last time.

You nod your head at David, giving him a wide smile, “Oh, yeah! We’ve already rented the campers and everything.”

“You got room for one more? Sarah and I were talking about it and she seems interested.”

“Sure. I’m pretty sure there is enough space.”

“You guys coming?” You point your finger over to Karen and Curtis, who both eagerly nod their heads, smiles playing out on their faces.

“When are we leaving?” Karen asks, dragging her fork across her empty Tupperware container.

“Three days after graduation. We’ll be gone for two weeks, I think? I have to double check. But Frank and I are taking one of the large campers, so you and Sarah could bunk with us.”

Your three friends’ faces drop, the smiles slowly disappearing at your statement. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

Did they all have something to do during that time? That’s going to pose a problem seeing as you and your parents have already placed down the deposit for the campers.

“What?” You ask them, looking from each of their faces and finding that Karen and David nervously looked from Frank to you while Curtis stared straight at him. You turn your head upwards, looking at Frank who stared at each of them with a hard look and a clench in his jaw.

He doesn’t even look at you.

A slight panic starts to creep into your soul, your gut feeling telling you that something is wrong, which is pretty obvious. Your stomach is slowly sinking to the bottom of your body and your breathing is starting to pick up. The loud volume of the lunchroom seems to drown out, your mind focusing in on only the people in front of you.

Curtis maintains strong eye contact with Frank, giving him an equally hard stare. His voice drops a couple of octaves, “You didn’t tell her?”

“Not now, Curtis,” Frank grits out, his eyes narrowing at his friend.

“Tell me what?” You hurriedly interject, removing your leg from Frank’s lap and sitting forward at the table. You look from Curtis’ sympathetic look to you, to Frank’s averting eyes.

No one says anything.

Karen and David fidget in their seat, clearing their throats and fiddling with themselves at the sudden awkwardness that encompassed the table. The panic is now in full motion and the desperation that accompanies it is disorienting. There is something not being said, and the fact that it involves Frank makes the situation that much worse.

You can handle Curtis or David hiding something from you, even Karen, but not Frank. Frank always tells you everything right away, no questions asked. If he’s hiding something, it means that it’s going to hurt. You start to mentally prepare yourself for whatever it is.

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” You try to keep your voice steady as you address the table, but the crack in your voice betrays your efforts. Everyone can see and hear the desperation in your voice, and they can only look in sympathy.

It’s not their place to say it, but Frank’s silence is pushing them on.

He can barely look at you, keeping his eyes straight ahead. He knows if he looks at you then his resolve would come crashing down. He wanted to tell you at a better time. Not in a school lunchroom with everyone watching.

“Frank?” you plead, looking at the side of his face, watching him take a deep swallow that moves his Adam’s apple while softly shaking his head at Curtis.

You turn your head to Curtis. He slowly tears his eyes away from Frank, meeting your worried eyes.

“Curtis?” You gently ask.

Curtis has been friends with Frank for a long ass time, and the things shared between the two of them were meant to only stay between the two of them. But when you’re staring at him like the world depended on it, with every emotion clear on your face, Curtis was finding it hard to maintain the pact.

He takes a glance to his friends seated beside him, who gives him a questioning glance, wondering if he really was going to be the one to say it. He sees David give a small nod of his head. He turns his head over to Frank, and he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place again.

If there was desperation in your eyes, he doesn’t want to know what’s in Frank’s. Frank stares at him with a look of anger and need, despairingly pleading to not say what was on his mind.

Curtis sighs and drops his head. Frank’s gonna kill him.

“Frank enlisted for the Marines,” Curtis tells you, head down and his gaze trained on his folded hands, “He gets shipped out a week after graduation.”

Time seems to stop when Curtis utters those horrible words.

Enlisted? The Marines?

Frank never told you anything about the military. He never told you that he was planning to enlist, he’s never even told you he liked the military. But all of a sudden, he’s decided he wants to be involved when there is a literal fucking war happening?

Frank was smart to not have told you because there is no way in hell you would ever let him sign up. There is no way in hell you are going to let him go.

Your heart feels as though it’s been ripped out of your body and heavy weights have been placed onto your shoulders. You can barely breathe. There seems to be a hundred different thoughts running through your head, and yet none at the same time.

The room is spinning and you need something to grab onto, but your anchor feels a hundred yards away. Frank is sitting right next to you but you already feel like he’s been shipped out overseas and out of your reach, out of the safety of your arms.

You want to cry, you want to scream, you want to hit him, but your body is frozen.

You slowly lean back into the hard, plastic seat at your lunch table, unable to meet the eyes of everyone around you.

He’s going to war.

Nobody goes to war and comes back the same. You’ve taken AP Psychology; you know what happens to the brain during that kind of trauma.

He didn’t even tell you. He’s leaving in less than three weeks and he didn’t even tell you. He told everyone else, but you. You wonder who else knows.

Do his teachers know? Do other students in his classes know. Does Natalie Rushman know? Has everyone known this entire time and have just been hiding it from you, putting on fake smiles and laughs in front of you while they hide the dark, life-altering truth behind your back?

The dread that filled your body is slowly being replaced with a blinding rage that numbs you from head to toe. Your fingers are clenching into a fist so tight, that your nails are making crescent indents on your palms and your teeth are grinding too hard for it to be healthy.

The stares from your friends go unnoticed by you. They can see the change in your body and all they can do it glance at one another.

“(Y/N)?” Karen gently calls to you. Your head snaps up, your narrowed eyes meeting her gentle ones and you are suddenly brought back to reality. Your friends look at you with curiosity and you know you only have one option.

You grab the backpack by your feet and stand up from the table, leaving your plate behind alongside your friends, quickly making your way out of the lunchroom despite the thirty minutes still left of lunch.

You don’t know where you’re going, you just know you have to leave.

The table sits in silence, unsure of what to do with the residing feelings of anger at the table. Frank’s elbows are propped up on the table, his hands folding and unfolding methodically before their eyes. They can see the muscles in his forearms tense and un-tense with the occasional vein popping out. His blood is pulsing and he can feel a powerful headache coming on.

“Y’ever think that maybe–” Frank spits out, his voice deep and gritty as he stares to the side of the lunchroom, “—just maybe, I was waiting for the right time to tell her? Hmm?”

Curtis keeps a strong hold on his gaze, his eyes and voice unwavering at Frank’s threatening tone, “The right time to tell her was when you signed up, Frank.”

“That ain’t for you to decide.”

“Telling her a day before leave is a shitty move. She deserves better than that.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about— “

“Man, just shut the hell up and go find her. Tell her you love her before you lose her.”

Frank shuts up, his mouth closing and his retort dying in his throat. He looks over to Karen and David, who both give him a nod in agreement to Curtis’ statement.

Now, Frank doesn’t care much for David’s opinion, because as much as he might like the guy, David has had his own problems in relationships and whatnot. Frank is never eager to get David’s opinion on a situation, but either way he’ll find out what the guy thinks since the man is so adamant on sharing it whether anyone asked or not.

But, Karen is a different story. Frank trusts Karen with his life if necessary. She keeps her secrets and stays true to her words, guiding Frank in times when you couldn’t. She’s gentle and sweet and caring, only wanting the best for others. He values her opinion, always going to her first for help—not counting you, of course. She’s a close friend to him and an even closer one to you.

So, when Frank sees Karen nod her head at him, silently encouraging him to fix his error, he goes. He follows the direction you left in, not caring that he left his trash on the table or his backpack or anything necessary for his next class; He only cares about you.

You had no other place to go but the library.

You couldn’t leave campus and you weren’t about to go to a teacher’s class and have to explain the reason why tears were falling down your face.

The library is the only place where you could successfully hide and not be found.

Unless of course the person searching for you is Frank Castle, who is not only a master in the game of hide-and-seek, but also knows you too well. He finds you with your back against the shelf of Sci-Fi books and your body angled away from the entrance to the area, furiously wiping away the tears running down your face.

He can only stare.

He’s only ever seen you cry three times: Once when your dog died, another while watching ‘Marley and Me’ and then when his dog died. All three, dog related.

So, seeing you cry—no, sob—at his own doings, is heartbreaking. He wants to reach out and touch you, but he can’t bring himself to hurt you even more. He slowly sits himself down in front of you, leaning against the adjacent book shelf and watching you cry.

His presence only makes you cry harder.

He’s the only person you want to see, and yet he’s the last person you want to see. You want him to hold you and comfort you but he’s the reason for your pain. Funny how the world works.

You both sit in silence for a while, listening to your sobs slowly die down before you stare blankly at the wall, your bodies barely touching but the heat still transferring between you two.

Your legs are stretched out over the carpet, your dirty mint green converse almost touching his black boots. A sudden wave of tired washes over you, and you would love nothing more than a nap, until you realize that you still have the rest of the school day to get through.

A bell rings out throughout the school, signaling that lunch has fifteen minutes left.

You don’t know why, but you slowly bring your head to look over at the cause of your pain, who was already staring intently at you. His body seems to perk up at your acknowledgment of him, but slowly sinks down once he sees your red and swollen eyes.

(Frank feels awful for thinking it, but you’ve never looked more beautiful.)

You feel empty, like someone opened your body and stole every though and emotion from you. You have nothing else to give, other than your empty body. A piece of your happiness has been stolen, and you’re never going to get it back.

“You haven’t even left yet, and I already miss you.” The words his Frank like a train and despite the close proximity, he feels like you’re an ocean away. Your tone sounds deflated, and your voice raw and it’s then he realizes just how much he has damaged you within the span of fifteen minutes.

He didn’t realize he had that much power.

(He doesn’t want it.)

You let out a shaky breath and scratch your nose gently and sniffling, “’M not letting you go.”

He sighs, “(Y/N)—“

“No! ‘M not. I don’t care if-if that’s illegal or whatever, but you’re not going. Not over there—Not without me.” You violently shake your head at him, repeatedly licking your lips and stuttering, just trying to get your thoughts in order.

“You’re not going over there— “

“Then neither are you!”

“I have to— “

“No you don’t! You can stay—with me. Where it’s safe. We can-we can do what we always said, y’know? We can get an apartment in the city and-and live together and get some shitty ass jobs and— “

You didn’t realize Frank had gotten closer to you because suddenly he’s holding your face in his hands and you’re staring deep into his brown eyes and you can feel yourself getting lost in the stormy sea. The hurricane of tears is flooding your eyes again and you hold onto Frank’s wrists to try and anchor yourself down.

He places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths of your scent.

Vanilla and jasmine.

Always vanilla and jasmine.

Frank hears you mumble something, something that he hopes was real but was too clouded for him to actually decipher.

“What?” He asks you, his eyes opening to meet yours.

You take a deep breath, “I said I love you.”

Imaginary fireworks explode in Frank’s head and a warm feeling floods his body. He’s on cloud nine, and only acting on impulse, but he knows it was the right choice when he brings your lips to his.

Your lips work in sync, taking each other in and holding one another like it was the last time. You wrap your arms around Frank’s neck and he brings your body into his lap, his hands running up and down your figure before settling on your hips.

The kiss is needy and desperate, and if it were possible you were never separate from him. It wasn’t the first time you’ve ever kissed Frank, but this one was certainly the best.

You both separate reluctantly, your foreheads still touching and you both breathe out, your breaths mingling with one another.

In the eye of the hurricane, everything seems to come into perspective. All choices, all statements, all actions seem purposeful. It’s an incredibly humbling experience. It’s when you find that every insurmountable problem, has a solution; Every confusing detail, comes into focus; Every miniscule item, shows its massive weight.

It’s where Frank realizes he can’t live without you.

It’s where Frank realizes, you are the only one he needs.

In this whirlwind of emotions, Frank find his single moment of clarity and a decision presents itself. A decision he doesn’t regret, a decision that only made sense to him.

“Marry me.”

And in your moment, you realized that there was only one clear answer.

“Yes.”

He’s your eye of the hurricane. You’ll endure any storm if it means he’s there.

And you won’t regret a single moment.

tag list:

@imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Salt and Sugar (Ohmtoonz)

If its one thing Luke knew for sure about Ryan, it was that he only drank the sweetest of coffee. Luke remembers stealing a drink of Ryan’s coffee as a joke only to gag at the amount of sugar in the beverage. Another thing Luke knew for certain was that Ryan wasn’t even a quarter of the way awake until he had his coffee with at least one shot of espresso. Usually on cold winter mornings, Luke would hide the coffee machine just so he would have an excuse to bring a sleepy Ryan back to bed for snuggles.

Luke tried to contain his wild grinning as he heard Ryan coming down the stairs.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Luke smiled. Ryan looked at him with bleary eyes and mumbled something incoherent, which Luke had learned was him saying ‘good morning’. “How’d you sleep?” Luke asked as Ryan trudged over to the coffee machine. Ryan just shrugged as he poured himself a cup. Ryan let out a huge yawn, letting muscle memory take over and dump spoonfuls of what he thought was sugar into his coffee. Luke had to cover his mouth with his fist in order to not just lose it. Ryan sat down oblivious to everything going on around him. Ryan sleepily rested his head on Luke’s shoulder, dazedly looking up at Luke. The way Ryan looked so peaceful, it made Luke start to second guess his earlier actions. Ryan nuzzled his neck, already starting to doze off. “Come on, you can’t fall asleep on me already, babe.” Luke chuckled lightly, his voice staying soft and silky. “Especially with your glasses still on.” Ryan scrunched up his nose. “You have coffee breath.” Ryan said, his voice still deep with sleep. Luke just kissed Ryan’s nose. “You wanna go back to bed or fall asleep at the table?” Luke watched as Ryan tried to blink the drowsiness out of his eyes. Ryan shook his head. “I need to get some editing done before a recording session.” Luke held his breath as Ryan picked up his coffee. Ryan closed his eyes in relaxation and took a big drink. Time seemed to slow down as Luke watched Ryan’s face contort into disgust. The tiredness flew off of Ryan’s appearance as his taste buds were violated with the taste of salty, strong coffee. The substance was immediately spat back into the mug as Ryan sputtered in surprise. “What the fuck was that?!” Ryan gagged. “I don’t know. What was it, Ohm?” “Luke, what did you do to my coffee…?” “Well, it did wake you up effortlessly, didn’t it?” Luke tried to contain his amusement. Ryan stared at him blankly. “You’re the worst.” “There’s no need to be so… salty, Ohmy.” Luke grinned. “You… put salt… in my coffee…” “Technically, you did.” Luke pointed out. Ryan stood up, leaving his dishs on the table, which was something he never did. “I have some editing to do.” “Aw, come on babe!” Luke reached out to catch Ryan’s hand. But Ryan kept walking. Luke sighed. “So it looks like its just you and me, Buddy.” Buddy looked up at him for a minute before prancing after Ryan. “Well fuck.” Ryan had been giving him the cold shoulder all day and it was driving Luke crazy. Sure he was use to not seeing the other when one of them was out on travel, or when one had a jam packed day of work. But even then they’d still send texts or light conversations during breaks, normally accompanied by spontaneous room vists for kisses. Now since none of these interactions were happening, Luke didn’t know what to do with himself. Luke had tried to appease his boyfriend by making Ryan’s favorite lunch dish and leaving it outside his door. But when Luke checked the hallway an hour later, Ryan’s door, which he had expected to be opened by now, was still shut and had an empty plate and glass sat in front of it. The only thing Ryan had said to him at all that day was that he was going to take Buddy for a walk. Luke had been trying to distract himself with editing all day. He couldn’t think of how to make it up to Ryan. He wished he could just buy Ryan a giant stuffed animal. But he knew Ryan was too practical for that. Luke sighed before deciding to call his other best friend for advice. Luke blindly hit the last discord he used with Delirious. “Jon, I need help. I really fucked up.” Luke sighed. “Cartoonz?” A different voice replied. Luke looked up to see he wasn’t in his personal server with Jon but a group chat. “Oh fuck, sorry guys. I must’ve hit the wrong discord.” “Your finee.” Jon laughed. “What’s the matter?” Evan asked, his voice coming through the speakers again. “Its something really stupid…” “Just fucking say it! You’re already here aren’t you?” Brian said. “I’m sure its not /that/ bad.” Brock chided. “Ryan’s been giving me the cold shoulder all day.” Luke sighed. “Oh you must’ve really fuck up.” Marcel said. “Thanks for the reassurance.” Luke grumbled. “What’d you do?” Jon asked. “Okay so this guy loves his coffee. Like absolutely can’t live without it. And one thing he does is just drown it all in ungodly amounts of sugar.” Luke started. “You didn’t do what I think you did, did you?” Brian interrupted. “Depends.” “On what?” “What do you think I did?” “Switch the sugar with cocaine?“ “What the fuck?! God, no!!” “What the hell, Brian?” Evan asked encredulisly. “It was a legitimate question, okay?!” Brian tried to defend himself. “No, it wasn’t!” Marcel cracked up. “Do you normally drink cocaine in your coffee, Brian?” Jon laughed. “Well, no but-” “Then why was the the first thing that came to your head?!” Brock chuckled. “I don’t know! I’m Irish!” “What does- ugh, nevermind. Luke, did you put salt in Ryan’s coffee?” Brock asked. “Maybe?” “Luke! You can’t do that to a man’s coffee!!” Jon laughed. “It was just a little joke to make him not want his coffee and go back to cuddling! I didn’t know he was gonna get so upset about it!” “Oh my god!” Evan laughed. “I told him I was sorry! Like a lot of times!” “And then what happened?” Brian asked. “He ignored me and took his dog on a walk.” “Ooo he’d rather spemd time with his dog over you. That’s rough.” Marcel said. “Its… ruff.” Brock giggled. “Shut up, Brock.” Brian laughed. “No, that was a good one!” Evan giggled. “Alright, so Ryan’s pretty romantic, right?” Jon asked. “Uh, I guess so. Why?” Luke asked. “Then we’ve got ourselves a gameplan.” Jon said with an audible grin. Ryan sighed as he walked through the front door. He unhooked his dog’s leash before kneeling down to take off the doggie protective shoes. “You want some water, Buddy? You did such a good job today!” Ryan smiled, rubbing his dog. He stood back up and stretched his legs. He kicked off his shoes before following the jack terrier into the kitchen. “LUKE, WE’RE BACK!” Ryan called out into the house as he always did after a walk. Ryan grabbed a glass from the cabinet and got some water before noticing Buddy run in circles in front of the fridge. “Oh what? You think you get a treat?” Ryan laughed lightheartedly. Buddy let out a “yip!” “Well, it was kinda hot out. BUT just this once. You won’t get one everytime we go on a walk.” Ryan smiled as he went to the fridge. He paused, remembering that he didn’t hear Luke when they came in. He was about to pull out his phone to text the other when he noticed a note on the fridge. Ryan chuckled and shook his head. Ryan put the sticky note aside as he open the freezer. He heard Buddy bark in excitement. Ryan giggled as he kneeled down. “You ready? Alright, here you go!” Ryan dropped an ice cube on the floor. Ryan looked back at the note as Buddy pounced on the frozen treat. “Go out back ;)” Ryan eyed it in suspicion. He left Buddy pushing his ice cube across the floor and walked across the room towards the backdoor. He opened the shades on the door so Buddy could see where he was going. Ryan gasped when his saw the backyard. The back patio was strung with fairy lights. A warm glow was cast over the seating from the varity of candles lit all around. Ryan pulled open the sliding door and stepped out. Ryan walked a couple steps, admiring the display in awe. “Luke?” Ryan called out. He paused for a second to see if he could hear him. “You out here?” Ryan walked around until he came across their hammock, all set up between two trees. Then warm arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Ryan smiled knowly as he leaned back into the familiar embrace. The pair stayed like that for a few seconds, just basking in each other’s presence. Ryan felt the chest up against his back vibrate with a low hum. Ryan tilted his head back and looked up at the face behind him. Luke’s eyes were trained on his face, trying to gauge his emotion. Ryan giggled and made a kissy face at him, getting a light kiss on the forehead in response. “Wanna lay down, darlin?” Luke finally asked, his voice rumbling. “I’d love to.” Ryan smiled. They started towards the hammock, holding hands, before Luke stopped. “Luke?” Ryan looked back at him. “How the fuck are we gonna get in together?” Luke said, staring at the hammock. Ryan looked at Luke for a second before cracking up. “What?! It’s a serious problem we have here!” “Well we just, uh, get in it?” “And how do you suppose we do that? Hm?” “Get in how you’d normally, but together?” “Fuck it. Let’s try.” It had started with a lot of elbowing, awkward kneeing, and one time of nearly falling out before they finally settled in comfortably. Their legs were tangled together. Ryan was half on, half off of Luke’s chest. Luke had one arm under Ryan’s waist and the other hand caressing Ryan’s hair. Luke started peppering kisses across Ryan’s jaw before moving to his neck. “I’m sorry for switching your sugar. I didn’t mean to make you mad.” Luke mumbled against Ryan’s neck. Ryan pulled himself up so he could look into Luke’s eyes. “I’ll forgive you on two conditions.” Ryan said. “What?” “First, you never mess with my coffee ever again.” Luke laughed. “Yeah I think I learned my lesson with that one.” “Well I’m glad.” “What was the other condition?” Luke asked. “That you keep cuddlin me like this.” Ryan giggled. “My pleasure.” Luke kissed him sweetly as he guided Ryan back into the crook of his arms.

Jen in the Garden 2021

The Quarantined Garden

 Time was not an issue this year because I was at home 24/7 and staring at my garden from my desk in the bedroom window.  The view is impressive.  I have a fenced orchard with 12 fruit trees.  I have a chicken coop with 7 of my original 12 chickens still alive and well.  I have three bee hives. I have a fenced in vegetable garden, a berry patch, an herb garden, a lavender field and a hugel of shrubs and native plants, and I am planning a rain garden.  This is my 13th year of garden logging.  I also have deer, groundhog, possum, raccoon, crows, hawks, squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, a fox and an occasional coyote.

I have come to detente in my 16 years of living with a groundhog tenant in the back yard.  Groundhogs only live 3-4 years on average, so the resident groundhog changes and the burrow is taken over by a new tenant every couple years. When we cleared the back of the yard this last winter for the orchard, I was finally able to see the layout of the groundhog burrow.  It is under the upper 1/3 of the orchard with initially 3, now 4 entrances inside the orchard fence.  Because that portion of the orchard is higher ground, it is drier and I planted the stone fruits (cherries and plums) in that half of the orchard, entirely without disturbing the burrow or burrow entrances.  I also put the bee hives in that area because drier is better for bees. And I made rings with stones around the burrow openings so that I don’t step in them. They now look like hobbit holes.

The orchard fence is made of wire with 2x4 inch openings.  The groundhog generally prefers to go under the fence and has several places where it has scraped exit trenches.  Because the orchard is so bare and new I decided to plant squash and corn in there and put up a partition fence to keep the groundhog out of the lower 2/3 of the orchard. That was when I witnessed the Highway Ham Hobbit Houdini actually squeeze itself right through a 2x4 inch opening in the fence wire to escape after digging its way into the partition to eat all my sunflowers and beans.  I had to reinforce the lower portion of the orchard with bird netting and really big rocks. No break-ins since, but the dry spell in June made the groundhog peckish and it climbed my cherry tree saplings and ate their lower leaves.  It also ate the tops off my sweet potatoes in the upper orchard, and a lot of the yarrow seedlings.  It has not so much as nibbled the peach tree. Obviously it does not like peaches.

The spring was cold.  I planted in late March and although everything germinated, it stopped growing at about 1-3 inches high and just stayed that way until the end of June. It was rainy and soggy. The daffodils were amazing.  Then came June and there was no more rain for 6 weeks. I actually had to water because of the new fruit trees and lavender bushes. The June grass looked like August. Most of the summer crops were ruined, with the exception of the extras that were thrown in the orchard and did really well.  I’m not sure if it was because of the extra watering or because that ground has not been cultivated in 60 years, or both. The young trees will not be substantially shading the orchard for many years, so meanwhile I have plenty of space to cultivate between them.  

The legume crop was spotty at best. My bean fixation wasn’t fixed so I am doubling down.  Greens and Brassicas were just off.  It was a deceptively mild winter and we had a very early thaw after almost no snow. But, although the spring was wet, it stayed really cold, too cold. My early greens didn’t get enough sun and my summer greens didn’t get enough water.  So I’m going all out on leafy greens this year.  There you have it:  Greens & Beans is the focus this year…plus a few flights of fancy and the standard deviation into other edible oddities.          

 I had numerous gardening projects going this past summer and I am surprised at my own progress (having 2 bored teenagers at home added a lot of extra muscle and motivation):  

 The Orchard.  My daughter wants to make sure she gets full credit for planting the orchard. Last winter we had the back 20 yards of the yard cleared and fenced.  Although we hired help to do the basic clearing, and then to remove a large concrete pad we uncovered, and to put up the fence, my kids and the neighbor kids, did several hundred hours of work in the spring to remove all the roots, vines and rocks, and then, after the concrete slab was removed, they split 8 pines trees worth of logs and filled in the hole (which was one third of the orchard) and covered it over with dirt, used the remaining logs to complete the great hugel, and covered that with dirt and woodchips.  And then it was time to plant fruit trees.  We opted for the following varieties, from Willis Orchard and Raintree Nursery: 1 Self-fertile peach, 1 sweet cherry, 1 sour cherry, 1 green plum, 1 black weeing plum, 1 red-fleshed crab apple, 1 red cider apple, 2 honeycrisp apples, 1 self-fertile sugar pear, 1 white pear, 1 yellow pear.  These are all 2 year old, 5-7 foot saplings that should fruit next year. Additionally, I ordered a Chicago Brown Hardy Fig, that was planted beside the boulder in front of the house, but is now a house plant (house twig) after the deer found it.  I also have a weeping persimmon in the backyard swamp that is living in a cage to protect it from the deer.

 The community garden.  The InterGenerate community garden in my village was a big draw this past year, attracting new members and greater creativity by existing members.  We got a really good watering system in place and made great use of it.  The aim of the group is to teach people how to grow their own food and in that vein we donate both seeds and the harvest back to the community.  Last year the focus will be on real subsistence crops: potatoes, beans and squash instead of the ultimate (super expensive) tomato.  I was enthusiastic and went completely overboard ordering potato seed, beans and squash.  This year I will be devoting my plot to leafy greens and hot peppers, things the community we serve really appreciate. I assume interest in our project will be even greater this year.  And because my seed inventory is so high, I will also be donating seeds and plants to fellow gardeners.  With the water system for the community garden up and running, we have turned our attention to perennial beds and pollinator patches.  We have a large patch of goldenrod on the property we are thinking of expanding into a wild flower patch.  We also are considering building a communal herb bed for perennial herbs. The mild fall also sparked interest in season-extending materials.

 The Pollinator Pathway. This is a national movement subdivided down to extremely local chapters working to connect greenways, nature preserves and public lands with private properties where no pesticides are used to create green corridors that are pesticide free. I am also very self-interested in joining this movement because this was my second year of bee-keeping and I harvested some superb honey.  So, started last spring with 2 bee hives and ordered a third. We harvested from the Hyssop (blue) Hive in late July, about 2 gallons. We took about 1.5 gallons from the Sunflower (yellow) hive in September.  The Hyssop hive colony was overcrowded so I ordered a 3rd hive (purple) and split the Hyssop hive in August to see if I could build out the Lilac (purple) hive colony for winter.  All was well until October when I discovered all 3 hives had “absconded” – they were empty: no bees alive or dead, no honey, pollen or larva.  Research indicates there was too much competition for food. It was a crazy year for yellow jackets and I did observe lots of yellow jackets trying to battle their way into the hives daily.  So I packed up the hives, wrapped them to prevent infiltration by wax moths, and put them away.  In the spring I will clean them and re-locate them (the upper orchard may be too hot), and order two new colonies.  

I planted a lot of native plants this year and unfortunately very few survived! June was a bad, dry month, and the month I tried planting everything.  Turtlehead Cleome, Jersey Tea, Bergamot, Queen of the Prairie and Joe Pye Weed all failed. And that was a lot of plants!  So too, the California lilac failed. The elderberry and a few beebalm survived, so did the buttonbush.  The hyssop, salvia and iris did okay. The oakleaf hydrangea died.  Astilbe and bleeding heart limped along.  Ferns were hit or miss. Thistle and mullein were abundant.

.

Provence in New York. Last year we bought 24 gallon pot lavender plants on Cape Cod and we brought them home. We planted them in place of the wildflower bed that had petered out and started to go back to grass.  They have been thriving with vigorous weeding by my chickens.  So we decided to expand and went back to the same farm in Cape Cod for more plants this spring.  However, there were no lavender plants, and we met the woman who had purchased every single one minutes before we arrived.  She was gleeful telling us that our positions had been reversed the year before when we bought all the lavender the day before she arrived. So we sourced locally, but were only able to find 4 inch pots.  Still, we planted 20 more. And all survived and have doubled in size.  

 The Wildflowers. The chickens were allowed to scratch and bare the soil between the lavender plants this spring and, amazingly, that treatment lead to a huge resurgence of the wildflowers. We had a sea of cornflowers, lots of wild white yarrow, poppies, foxglove, daisies and black-eyed susans and lots of things I cannot identify.  Interestingly, the same thing happened in the orchard where the chickens spent a lot of time.  I transplanted some of the yarrow to the orchard, as it is considered a good companion for fruit trees.  And I moved some foxglove back there too, and still have more to transplant to the front yard. It was so successful letting the chickens weed the lavender that I am going to repeat the process this spring.  The chickens do an amazing job of eating grass seed and turning the soil.  I always let them in my garden in the spring to help me get a head start on weeding.  And they spent a lot of time in the orchard this spring as well.

 The Western Wall – This has been a disaster. I am going to move the kiwi berries to the orchard.  I planted more asparagus and it did not take.  Perhaps this is a bed for flowers only.  But the iris is there but not blooming. Foxglove did okay, except that I moved it.  The horse radish is okay because it is a weed.  The rhubarb is failing.  I should probably move it.  Maybe this space should be a rock garden.  Disturbing the soil, which is heavy clay, lets a lot more water into the foundation.  Not good.

 Hugelkultur. (You have to say that word with guttural gusto!) What??  It is the method of building a raised bed over buried logs.  Finally, the great hugel is complete!  All that wood left from our nine pine trees that fell 8 years ago during Hurricane Sandy has been split and buried. Helen and Calvin split all that wood this spring. And 20 cubic yards of woodchips delivered last year have been spread around the property. The great hugel is thriving. I’m dedicating it to native plants, including burdock, thistle and the biggest mullein plant you ever saw - it was 8 feet high and 4 feet around.  We also buried quite a lot of logs in the orchard, to fill in the area where we had to remove a concrete slab.  

 Back to Eden. Scored 20 cubic yards of wood chips, last year from getchipdrop.com. The woodchip and cardboard weed barrier method of gardening worked really well in giant hugle and the front yard. And I got another 20 cubic yards in September.  So much more to do. It will be the basis of the two rain gardens we are going to build this coming summer. I am still hoarding carboard. The pollinator patch at our community garden will also require and initial weed barrier of cardboard and woodchips to get it established.

 The Herb Garden. I had a little problem with the herb bed two years ago when I let the Bull thistle take over.  I like the thistles and transplanted them to the big hugel. I dug out all the little thistle seedlings in the herb bed and got rid of then. The bigger issue with the herb garden this past year was an invasive yellow primrose that I was tossing out left and right.  And the violets have taken over the outer border. So I need to be more ruthless about thinning them.  Otherwise, the bed flourished. I had to plant more rosemary and more thyme. This is turning into an annual thing.  No matter what I do it does not make it through the winter.  The oregano however is taking over.

 The Shade Garden.  I have to subdivide the herb garden into the light and shade portions because most of the herbs just will not grow in the shade portion so I’ve started planting native ephemerals and hosta.  I should move the honey berry bushes next year. They don’t mind the location but they have not exactly thrived, so they are destined for the front yard with the blueberry bushes (that haven’t exactly thrived because the deer keep eating them..). Lemon balm and chives, by comparison, have taken over, as has that stupid yellow primrose that just has to go! Now, bloodwort, foam flower, mountain mint, spider plant and woodland stone crop all did well, and oddly, basil flourished there because of the moisture, even without light.

 House plants. I think perhaps the fig tree needs to winter over inside this year.  It did not thrive outside by the big rock. And then the deer got hungry and ate it. So it is recuperating inside and has a single, new leaf.  Next year I also want some large ferns for the front porch. I bought a new wax plant vine (Hoya Obovata) to replace “Hobi” that died;  this one’s name is “Obo”.  “Brutus II” (a kidnapped Philodendron Hope Selloum cutting from an apartment sublet 20 years ago) has died. My Dracaena Warneckii (“Necky”) is 24 years old and still going strong. My sad little, Christmas cactus bloomed, at Thanksgiving, and now looks pathetic again.  My Chicago Brown Hardy Fig is recuperating as a house plant after being munched to s twig by deer this summer; it’s going to be a patio plant for a couple years. The art glass terrarium is a desert wasteland again.  

 Woodlands.  Just when you thought there was no piece of this property left for me to cultivate. I decided to make inroads against the vines and poison ivy on our lower, pine tree border. I mulched and clipped. There are many Japanese maple saplings in that border which I saved from the vines.  I also found a bunch of jack-in-the-pulpit and a few ferns.  I planted some ferns and astillbe and transplanted some violets and planted some impatiens.  I threw some primrose in too, since I was ripping it out of the herb bed. It is very dry under those trees. I hope if I mulch with woodchips it will sustain some smaller plants.  And on the upside of the property I have decided the privet row is too monochrome so I am replacing the dead ones with other types of bushes, hopefully a jersey tea or some oak leaf hydrangea. At the very back lower side we still have massive amounts of vines and some invasive wine berry bramble and Japanese barberry I would like to get rid of.  There is also the bottom 20 feet of a big pine tree I want to put a possum nesting box in.

 Rain Gardens.  I am planning out rain gardens in both the front and back yard. In the front yard I have already started to smother the grass in the swale.  I planted some blue flag iris in there. I want to add button bushes, a sweet bay magnolia, cranberry bushes and cardinal flowers.  In the back yard, I want to put river rock into the back corner and plant some sedges, cranberries, button bushes, ferns around the borders of it. I already have a weeping persimmon sapling growing there because it is one of the only fruit trees that likes to have wet feet.

The seed list this year is a little complicated because I saw a video about the extraordinary amount of people who took up gardening during COVID, who are now hooked and want to try again this year, which is predicted to lead to shortages of every type of garden martial, from fencing to shovels to seeds and fertilizers.  I’m good on everything but seeds, so I panicked and ordered everything before taking inventory of what I have leftover.  Good and bad.  I was shocked that I have received the 2021 garden catalogues only in the last two weeks and already many things are sold out!  I have a large seed inventory left from last year but only 5-10 seeds of any type. So this year will be interesting. Additionally, I found that the addition of the fenced orchard has doubled my available gardening space protected from deer and groundhogs. So I need to start planting more.  I am also very impatient – quarantine does that to you – and I want high-yielding, early maturing varieties of everything, NOW.

 Legumes (follow the Root crops)

 So my bean fetish was a bust.  I planted lots of bush beans and the groundhog dug into the orchard and ate them all as they were flowering.   Pole beans got off to a slow start.  I really just didn’t get around to planting them soon enough and the June drought  slowed them down.    

Peas were also a bust since the spring was just too cold for them and then June was too dry.  I saved some seeds and tried a fall crop which only grew a few inches before it got too cold. I used all my saved seeds trying for a fall crop, that failed, so back to the drawing board.  Burpee’s “Wando”, was warm weather tolerant, but it was not tolerant of the June drought.  So, I thought I’d give it another shot, but Burpee’s is not offering it this year. Burpee’s “First 13 Pea” was unremarkable.  Again, the very cold, dark start followed by drought may have been the issue.  But I don’t recall a single pea pod that had more than 8 peas in it.  So I am not going to do that again.  And I have decided that “Lincoln” peas are too tall for my pea fences (fences are 3 foot and Lincoln can grow to 5 feet.  Although it is a “beloved heirloom”, I’m skipping it.  As noted previously, 250 pea vines takes up all the pea fencing I have space for inside the walled garden.  But, now I have all this extra space in the orchard….I might just go crazy and plant a thousand peas, just because I can. But I will be focusing on varieties that are early and prolific, and not too tall.

I saw some really pretty pictures of snap peas (as opposed  to shelling peas), which have violet pods, and a semi-leafless and prolific sugar snap pea. I’ve never grown snap peas, so this is something new and it interests me because there is no effort of shelling and no tossing (wasting) the shells.  And I have the space, and peas fix nitrogen in the soil.

The soy beans did not germinate so I tossed them.  But will try again this year because I recall they are prolific growers. I want profusion, instantly.

Fava beans did remarkably well and bloomed beautifully, but then the dry weather slowed them down and only about half the blossoms fruited. The beans themselves, while delectable, are laborious to shell and skin.  I saved seeds and grew a fall crop which handled the cold very well, and even blossomed. But, of course, it was too cold to set pods so I cut and ate the greens and blossoms. Really tasty! And, none of the labor to prepare! We will do that again. They are also supposed to be a good cover crop, so I might sow them all over in the fall.

Winged Beans sprouted, and they had very pretty blue blossoms that I did not test, but believe can be used for a natural, blue food-coloring.  Not sure I planted them soon enough – maybe they are more like peas and I planted them on a pole bean schedule?? Anyway, I saved the seeds from the two pods that formed, and we’ll try again this year, earlier, on the schedule with the peas.

Bush beans, the ones the groundhog did not massacre, did really well. I have hit on a purple variety that are hardy and prolific, so we’re going with those again.  The black bush beans were all eaten and I didn’t have any in reserve so I think I’ll just let those go.

An interesting article about Rancho Gordo’s native bean project (ranchogordo.com) led us to order several pounds of 10 varieties of obscure beans from remote Mexican villages. I am in the process of testing it they are still viable (put them in a bag with a wet paper towel in a dark cupboard) and can be germinated.  If they can be germinated, then I’m going to save a few of each and grow them.

Runner beans- the June drought really did a number on the start of bean season.  And then the ground hog broke into the orchard at ate most of the bean shoots. The ones that survived were excellent and runner beans are just not available in the grocery store.  So I want to try them again.  Last year I ordered Territorial Seeds “Scarlet Emperor” with red blossoms, and Pinetree Seeds “Painted Lady” with red and white blossoms, “Sunset” with pale pink blossoms. And Park Seeds “Stardust”, with white blossoms, the ones the groundhog didn’t eat where very tasty, but barely enough for one bowl.  I have some left in inventory and I will buy some more. These are very tasty beans and they have beautiful blossoms that are also really tasty.  They are a bit too heavy for corn or sunflower stalks but grew very happily on the orchard fence.

 Brassica – Cole - Green Crops (follow the legumes)

 I started a ton of seedlings inside. They all germinated. I planted them outside and they went into a suspended animation and stopped growing at about 5 inches tall.  Then there was the June drought.  Huge waste of space!  So disappointed.  Next year I will start them earlier, and have them bigger when I transplant them.  They are also due for a crop rotation and some calcium supplementing. The cabbages were a complete bust, and the cauliflower. The kale limped along and seemed to perk up in the fall.  It is biannual so I have hopes it will re-grow in the spring.  The red Russian kale was heartiest and most of what germinated was actually self-seeded from last year. The Portugese Kale was small, but I’m letting it stand and have mulched it with straw to help it through the winter.  The fall sown broccoli and collards all germinated and made it to about 6 inches tall, so I mulched those too in hopes of a mild enough winter to let them re-grow.

Spinach, a very fickle crop in recent years, did not germinate, at all. I’m thinking it needs to be started indoors and then treated like tatsoi and planted in its own 12 inch circle. Not exactly a good use of space, but I have all this new area in the orchard that needs cultivation, so will try it in traditional rows in the garden and more spread out in the orchard. Lettuce did well, except in June and July. So this year I am focusing on some heat tolerant varieties.  Escarole and Endive were thriving, but this year I have to remember to eat them before the summer because the heat makes them bitterly inedible.  The same is true of the French sorrel.  I have two large, perennial patches of it, but other than the first, tender, spring leaves, it is fit for nothing but soup; I must resist the temptation to add it to salad! Arugula did very well, particularly in the fall, so I mulched it with straw to see if it will come back in the spring.  Some varieties are biannual and the fall planting did not flower, so there’s hope.  The nasturtiums did exceptionally well – they don’t mind the drought.  And I tucked them in everywhere so there were plenty. I even preserved some of the leaves in the fall – cold pickled in lemon juice brine – to use like grape leaves. Mache is really hard to grow but for some reason the fall planting was a great success. This year I am focusing on a quicker maturing, cold hardy variety. Claytonia and purple orach are still lots of fun and germinate early and well. I direct sow those. I tried cultivating purslane but so much of it grew wild in the orchard this year that next year I will just throw the seeds in the orchard and not waste the garden space.  Arugula is always a direct sow.  And it is bi-annual so placement has to be thoughtful.  This is a re-plant year so I planted and re-planted. The fall crop was much more successful, so much so that I deep mulched it with hay and covered some with plastic. It is still green, in December. I planted the large Italian dandelions for their leaves and roots but they got swallowed up by weeds in the hugel and then the rabbits ate them.

The Asian greens (pok choi, bok choi, tatsoi, mustard, chrysanthemum, Chinese cabbage) were a bust.  Just never go going in the spring and I didn’t save any seeds for fall. Too bad because all the fall greens did really well. But this year there are so many crazy varieties available and the bounty in the fall green markets is just haunting me, so I have gone completely overboard on seeds.  Maybe that’s the new obsession this year, greens and beans.

Celery, I discovered that you can just put the 1 inch cut end of the bunch directly into the ground, in the potato patch.  And they all took root.  Some are still alive under plastic. They are actually quite tolerant of cold and wet, so like the onion ends, they will never again be wasted in the compost pile.

 Fruits (follow the Brassica and Greens)

I swore off eggplant last year, and then planted some anyway.  Just some mixed fingerlings and standard black.  I didn’t even have room for them in the garden, really, so extras went in the orchard.  Well, the plants in the garden were stunted by the lack of water and too much sun.  By contrast, the ones in the orchard went wild – nearly 4 feet tall.  And Dan made enough caponata salad I had to jar it by the quart.  I actually jar and preserve it.  We eat all the eggplant we can grow either grilled, or eggplant parmesan, or roasted for babaganoush, or Chinese stir-fried with chicken and garlic. And one of our favorite restaurants in Key West makes a terrific warm eggplant salad that Dan has reverse engineered.   So I’m planting the same again this year – some mixed fingerlings and some standard    

I am trying an interesting experiment of over-wintering my pepper plants that did not fruit this year in pots, inside the house.  Unfortunately, when I dug them up, I did not label them so, I don’t know if they are hot or sweet. I suspect they are mostly hot.  I saved seeds from our very prolific Portuguese Dagger hot pepper (which was an extra that got planted in the orchard and exploded), and from the Chiltepin “Fire Flea” hot pepper seeds from our organic green market.  These were the peppers I used to make Cowboy Candy this past fall.  I also have a lot of seeds left over in inventory.  The sweet Corno di Toro also did really well in the orchard (except that it looks identical to the Portuguese Daggar and I occasionally grabbed the wrong one) so I ordered some more, quick growing, sweet bell peppers. We do like stuffed peppers and I found a really nice Italian recipe for green peppers stuffed with venison and polenta.

The okra germinated well, but bloomed and fruited very sparingly. I tried a lot of different varieties and only the red burgundy and the cow horn produced enough for me to save seeds.  The difficulty in growing okra here is the lack of heat makes the fruit form too slowly, so by the time you pick it at 3 inches long, it is already too woody and you end up with an inedible dish that is like okra couscous in small mesh bags. I really like okra, particularly blistered on a grill, but this past season I discovered that the entire okra plant is edible.  Leaves can be cooked like collards, and the flowers can be battered and fried like zucchini blossoms. And they are really pretty.  So I am ordering two quicker growing varieties that are reportedly cold-weather tolerant.  Devil’s Claw did not germinate so I ordered more seeds - a member of the sesame genus, which can be eaten exactly like okra when it is young and is an herb with medicinal uses.  The leaves and flowers are reportedly sticky and smell terrible, so hopefully I can plant it on the hugel and the deer won’t eat it.

  The corn germinated well in the orchard.  And we discovered that my honey bees really liked the corn blooms. I have several videos of the bees all over them, which led us to joke: did this mean the bees were cutting the honey with high fructose corn syrup?  I grew Burpee’s Kandy Korn, very delicate and sweet.  There are few things that compare to the taste of the first, fresh picked-corn of summer.  And that first pick we ate was the last we had because the squirrels relentlessly shredded the rest and broke down the stalks starting that very night.  I should throw up my hands and be done with corn. But, I have all this extra orchard space for the next couple years…

The squirrels thought the corn was an excellent appetizer for the 50 squash and gourd vines Helen grew in the orchard this past year.  I managed to rescue 4 butternut squash, two buttercup squash and one queensland blue pumpkin and only because I put mesh bags over them before they were very big.  Every other squash and pumpkin was gutted as soon as seeds had formed in it. The gourds, on the other hand, obviously do not taste good because the animals left those untouched. We have a nice pile of bushel, dipper, swan neck and bottle gourds drying (rotting) on the front porch. In theory those should have been brought inside and dried and cut and painted. But I was using them as decorations in the fall and lost interest.

And finally, tomatoes, tomatoes.  The squirrels and chipmunks were more interested in the chicken feed, corn and squash seeds than in tomatoes this year.  But the tomato crop was really late due to the June drought. And, by the time the tomatoes were ripe, almost everything else was gone, so the squirrels started in on any tomato I did not put a nylon mesh bag over. And then they got desperate and started gnawing through the bags.  It didn’t help that we had an over-population of squirrels this year.  Any given hour of the day there were at least 3 investigating the chicken run, climbing all over the outside trying to figure out how to get inside, to the chicken feeder. And the plum tomatoes in the back of the orchard were entirely undisturbed because they were not in proximity to anything else of interest to the squirrels.  

 Roots (follow the fruits)

 I had a potato fetish this year. I planted 6 trash bags full, and another 12 in the ground, and then another 12 grew back from the previous year.  The trash bag potatoes did poorly because they did not get enough water. They were harvested August first and there were no more than a handful of golf ball sized potatoes per plant, though the stalks had dried. The Rose Finn Apple fingerling potatoes were delicious and creamy.  The Mountain Rose were interesting, rather nutty tasting. The German butterball look like scaly golden reptile eggs and made a tasty potato salad with diced sausage and a radicchio chiffonade. The Japanese sugar yams were excellent – sweet/nutty and drier than orange sweet potatoes. The extra ones I planted in the orchard were nibbled down by the groundhog. And there were 12 potato plants that re-grew in the prior season’s row. I clearly did not harvest them carefully. Looking back at the 2018 seed list I planted a red, white and blue mix of Yukon Gold, Colorado Red and Purple Viking, and my notes say the Colorado Red were particularly delicious. However, when I dug them up, there really weren’t any potatoes. So I left them there to see what happens next year.  I’m over root crops so this year I’m restraining myself to some standard size gold potatoes and some weird, miniature, black potatoes (total click-bait). And the Japanese yams were soooo delicious (thick purple skin and a dry white interior the texture of russet but a pecan-like sweetness) I’m absolutely trying those again.

           And remember the random mention of something called “Yacón”?…It is an Andes Mountain tuber related to sunflowers: “Yacón’s flavor is best described as a melding of crisp apples and watermelon with a hint of celery or water chestnuts”. It is eaten raw. It grows tall like a sunflower, only bushier and its roots are large, potato shaped tubers that are supposed to taste like crispy apples. I did buy one and planted it in the back of the orchard. It grew to be quite bushy, but never bloomed. It has a long growing season and I waited as long as I could before digging it up. It tastes like water chestnut to me, not sweet like an apple, but not as fibrous as jicama.  It certainly should be eaten raw because it would turn to mush if heated.  It is a perennial so I am supposed to save the rhizome winter it inside and replant in the spring. I put it in a small pot in a gloomy corner and let it die back. And now, eight weeks later it has started to re-grow.  It was supposed to stay dormant! These plants grow eight feet tall and 3 feet round – not a house plant.  But if I cut it back it might die, so now I must repot it and keep it alive until I can put it back outside in May.

 The radishes seem to have the same issues as the spinach: spotty germination and needed more space than they were given.  I’m tired of radishes.  I’m tired of all the root crops!  Even the carrots were worthless this year, although, to be fair, the grass beat them out and I did not weed them.  They were in the raised bed this year, because of crop rotation schedule and did not get enough water either. Same was true of the beets.  The tunips never got planted.  The scorzonera and salsify were planted in the great hugle and although they germinated and grew, they are biannual so they remained low to the ground and may not have gotten enough water in the June drought.  I will have to see if they re-grow in the spring. The milk thistle did well in the hugel and I am sure it will re-grow.  I actually transplanted burdock (I transplanted weeds – yes, I do that) to the base of the great hugle.  They are also a biannual so they should come back this spring, however, they did get mowed several times this past summer since they were too close to the lawn, so maybe they won’t.  

Maca (the Peruvian radish with ginseng qualities) got lost.  I think I might have planted it in the orchard when I was planting the yacon, but forgot to mark it.  Because these very strange, large turnip-like rosettes were growing in the orchard and I mistook them for weeds and removed them in August.  So, just out of curiosity I am going to plant this again. I still have not grown celeriac successfully and this year I’m not trying.  Likewise, rutabaga I’m not timing correctly.  I don’t plant it early enough.  It is a companion plant for peas, yet I keep putting it in the ground a month later.  I’m taking a year off from roots, except carrots and beets, and maca, and some Japanese turnips that look like pink carrots and are meant for pickling which is all I ever do with turnips.

 Alliums

It was a bad year for alliums (and for brassicas).  The Egyptian walking onions are gone.  I will replant this fall because they are so useful and I love their crazy corkscrew, tops.  I did the leek/red onion/white onion mix from Territorial Seed and planted them in all the wrong places and the drought in June and July killed every one of them. NO LEEKY DANCE.  This year I am starting my own leeks, three varieties for succession planting so I have 3 crops to fail instead of just one.  I can grow leeks! I’ve done it before quite successfully.  Onions, I’m doubling down and I ordered a sweet, northern mix of sets that I will plant somewhere new!  Garlic, I impulsively bought a couple large seed heads in the fall, from a farm stand, and planted it in the orchard, along the center path.  It’s in the ground – out of my hands. I even mulched it with straw. I have never before grown garlic, and we use garlic very quickly so not a lot goes to waste, but I am thinking of just tossing any garlic that does sprout in the pantry right into the ground. We have a lot of space where it could be tucked and nothing disturbs it, so why waste it in the compost pile.  I feel the same way about onion bottoms. A quarter inch slice with the roots on the bottom will re-grow.  Best to put it right into the ground and cover with about ¼ inch of soil.  And scallions, I have belatedly learned, should never be pulled, just cut at ground level and allowed to re-grow. And I am going to attempt the same with leeks. The chives, it turns out, are a very good companions for fruit trees, so I planted some seeds at the base of each tree in the fall. We’ll see if they germinate.

 Flowers  

I’m still having visions of a field of sunflowers, so I bought more seeds.  Just have to protect the seedlings from the deer, the squirrels and the groundhog.  Cannot direct sow them because the squirrels dig up the seeds like truffle-hunting pigs!  Nasturiums were glorious this past year.  I finally planted enough of them. And I even cold pickled the leaves in lemon juice to use like grape leaves.  Alyssium is a lovely, pollinator friendly ground cover that smells wonderful.  I’m going to sow it in the lawn and broadcast in the orchard. The beebalm I planted in the orchard did well, as did the zinnias and strawflowers and calendula. The comfry (labeled the most perfect orchard companion plant) which was planted in very early sprint as un-promising looking, short, cork-sized pieces of root, all sprouted magnificently.  It has large, hosta like leaves and blossoms (which are purple), and is long standing, and can be cut and mulched in place at the end of the season, providing good nutrients.  Lupine is also touted as a good orchard plant because it is a member of the legume family and fixes nitrogen in the soil. It germinated, but died off in the June drought. It is supposed to be perennial, so maybe some will come back.  I sowed a lot of white yarrow in the upper part of the orchard and it germinated well, but the groundhog nibbled a lot of it over the summer.  But it’s perennial so we’ll see if it comes back.  White clover seems to be the go-to staple for my honey bees, so I’m going to sow a lot into the lawn in the spring. Oh, yes! And I did plant 300 more daffodil bulbs in the front lawn.  I also planted 50 large, saffron crocus in the orchard.

 Herbs 

The obvious conclusion is that the herb garden is not drained well enough for rosemary or thyme to overwinter.  So that has to be re-planted, again, every year. This year I will try planting some in the upper orchard where it is drier and sunnier.  My tarragon died, so that has to be replaced.  The herb bed is over-run with a rampant type of  yellow primrose I spent a lot of time ripping out.  And the violets need thinning.  I need to start moving some to the shaded parts of the front of the house.  The parsley is supposed to be a biannual so I mulched it to help it survive the winter. And I also planted Hamburg Rooted Parsley in the fall and mulched the seedlings.  Borage and cilantro have self-seeded themselves for the past five years, but I bought more to broadcast sow in the orchard.  I also bought sesame because it has lovely seed pods.  And I bought black cumin because I love the whole seeds to eat and it has a lovely blossom.  I saved lots of basil seeds and have determined it does well in moist, not too sunny locations like the orchard and the shade garden. The mint did well last year and so did the lemon balm.  The lemon balm has already seeded itself in the orchard, and there is a big bed of mint (that I never planted and never noticed until we built the great hugel) in the back, left corner of the property. French sorrel is happy in the herb garden – I have two, well established patches now, one in the shade side and one in the sunny side. It is very tolerant of poor drainage. It might do well in the rain gardens.  The chives seem to be petering out.  I need to sow more in the orchard anyway, since they are very good companion plants to fruit trees. My tarragon plant died – or appeared to – when I transplanted it. I will have to replace it, unless it miraculously re-appears in the spring.  Marjoram and Oregano need to be divided and moved around. I have plenty of dill seeds and intend to sow them in the orchard this year.

Seed List: to follow