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#tw: aphobia
convolutedblasphemy · 2 months
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Things I had to see since joining this fandom:
"Alastor is so hot, too bad he's ace. It kinda sucks tbh, I wish he wasn't asexual."
"Alastor is asexual but not aromantic, this has never been confirmed" ignores the mountain of evidence
"I know Alastor is aroace but he deserves a relationship and I really just want to see him happy with someone..."
"Maybe he has had bad experiences with relationships when he was alive"
"I'm gonna make him question his sexuality"
"If he's ace why does he do [xyz thing that has nothing to do with sexuality]?"
"Aces can still have sex! Aros can still date!" proceeds to never mention his identity again and portray him exactly like an allo person
"Sex-averse aces can still have sex regularly!" (be fucking fr)
"Vivziepop said in a stream that Alastor is sex-favorable and has a preference for women" (no she did not why u lyin'???)
"Rosie said the 'ace in the hole' thing because Alastor is an advantage for Charlie and the hotel, not because he's asexual"
"I know Alastor is canonically aroace but for the sake of this fic let's just pretend he isn't"
Things I have yet to see (do better):
Someone who isn't on the ace or aro spectrum actually portraying a sex-favorable or romance-favorable Alastor instead of an allo version of the character
Allos in the "aces can still have sex! aros can still date!" crowd giving literally any support to the aspec community aside from trying to scoot around Alastor's asexuality
Just one allosexual writer who's like "I know Alastor is aroace so I'm going to try to include that in my writing! Feel free to give me feedback if I get anything wrong!" (if you guys are out there, hit me up, I'll follow you if you're not on my DNI)
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aceoffangirls · 4 months
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So just found out about all this shitty aro discourse and it’s horrible. People say aro people aren’t queer enough or oppressed enough. Is that what it means to be LGBTQIA+.
For a community that talks about being so accepting we need to have a good look in the mirror. The community is also filled with Racism, Misogyny, Transphobia, Biphobia and hell even Lesbians get shit on.
Many ace and aro people are told similar things to other queer people that “we haven’t met the right person yet”, “you are to young to know”, “that’s a medical condition”, or even the fact that we feel isolated by our own community.
There are also many struggles that ace and aro people face including worried that if you talk to a doctor about it they are going to blame it on hormones. In a lot of countries where conversion therapy is illegal for queer people or where queer people have their rights protected, asexual and aromatic people are often left out with conversion therapy and corrective rape being a big thing some aces have to face.
They are also one of the most misunderstood queer orientations with countless media, books and queer people misunderstanding, the complexity and fluidity of asexuality and aromamtism.
Many ace and aro people even doubt there sexuality for so long because how can you tell what you are supposed to be feeling if you have nothing to compare it to.
Being queer or lgbtqia+ has nothing to do with meeting a certain standard of what you deem "queer enough" or being "oppressed enough". It is falling out of the social norm and not experiencing the status quo that everyone is cisgender and straight , that everyone experiences sexual and romantic attraction. Its being one or some or multiple of others and loving yourself anyways.
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just-an-enby-lemon · 2 months
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I was happly existing as my own loser self and than my friend throwed a 19 pages pdf at me and now I rly want to talk about it but I don't have the right headspce for Twitter and Tumblr is not the right place.
But goddamit if the Cellbit situation didn't gave me feelings. He used to be my favorite youtuber as a kid, I grew up with him, I stopped for a bit mostly because of the allegations but came back for the RPG as I believed he had gotten better (a thing I now don't think was even necessary) and he stayed in my peripherals because Felps is my guy, is my go too streamer when I need to destress. And tbh I read the pdf ready to not believe him anyway (because I never believed Johnny Deep but it teached me about how man can twist an abuse situation) but I do. I believe him. Believe all victims goes to everyone.
And as a kid confronting my own inequacy I was one of the people watching the consprracy theory vídeos mentioned on the screamshots that "proved" he was assexual. And to him to have to actually come out in the most fucked up way possible made me very emotional. We could have had a reality where he followed the screamshot and came out when he felt safe to inspire other brazilian aces but nope. Here we are.
A lot of what he said ressonated with me (and the friend that send the pdf who is also ace) we never had to deal with that level of abuse (and tbh I don't wanna use the term because he didn't but it sounds a lot like corrective rape) but we know the jokes and pressure and humiliation.
So yeah, I hope he is alright and that this whole ordeal finally gets truly solved.
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shmaroace · 2 years
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"you don't look asexual/aromantic"
what is the expectation? that we all look miserable and ugly because, oh yeah, "our identities aren't real, we just can't get a date?" literally shut the fuck up
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wordsifelt · 2 months
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TW: mention of romance, sex, valentine's day, a bit of aphobia
This past week has been so frustrating as an aspec person, both in and out of queer circles. Everyone is talking about valentine's day, talking about partners, the usual "oh you're single how sad" like no no stop it shut up.
I hate it. I understand they must not realise what it does when they say stuff like that, but the amatonormativity is hitting me at full force.
I'm glad people are in relationships and celebrating their love, but the expectation of it, of being in a relationship or having partners, is wearing me down. Everywhere I go people say stuff like "oh are you buying something for ur partner?" "Do you have a date this valentine's?" "Are you gonna be in the sad lonely club?" Do people not realise how invalidating that is? They know I'm aroace, but even folx who are usually pretty supportive and great abt this are making comments like this and it makes me want to turn off my phone and hide from everyone.
I don't even know how to bring it up to people, because I know I'll get accused of ruining everyone's fun and being hateful.
Well atleast arospec awareness week is from Sunday, so I've got something to look forward to. But this week has drained me in every way possible.
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beetlegoose01 · 9 months
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isn't it ironic that whenever people on the ace spectrum speak up about their experiences, we get shut down because "nobody wants to hear about your sex life!!!"
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blackplaaague · 9 months
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My dream conversation:
Some aphobic loser: Why is there sex and romance in your comic if you're aroace? That's just not possible! Aroace people are too pure for that! Me: There's also body horror, organic limb mutilation, reanimated corpses, murder, vampires, rich people, and violations of the sanctity of humanity and science combined. The loser: okay, and...? Me: I'm writing about the stuff I'm scared of. And furthermore, I literally decorate my blog with biohazard gifs, how'd you get pure from that?
(We proceed to sit down and have a chat about how aphobia is really ingrained in society and come to terms with ourselves and our own identities.)
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shiutsu · 3 months
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Hate mfs who think that having zero interests in relationships or have the inability to feel love is a terrible thing that needs to be cured & that it makes ppl worse.
And its hypocritical when it comes from aspecs. Like you literally lack some sort of attraction yourself, you shouldn't be judgmental.
Like nah.. You're not special just cause you have interests in committing relationships. Grow up.
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olive-riggzey · 7 months
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Nobody has to read this. Nobody has to say anything to me. I just need time to be sad and vent in the only way I know how.
It’s one thing to get invalidated by an ex.
But he just had to go and tell me, "If anything changes, I'll be the first to know, right?"
"...If what changes?"
My brain has already mangled his hurtful response into something my memory refuses to hold. But I remember the last part:
"Like... if there’s a pill or surgery or something."
After a moment of silence I managed to say, "Yeah. I guess I'll let you know if my sexual orientation changes anytime soon."
He just kind of laughed and said, "I mean, it’s not impossible. Just very unlikely. Right?"
I said nothing. I just stared out the window as he drove onwards toward my house.
"Look—a dog," he said, as though he hadn’t just taken a sledgehammer to my heart.
It was already gone when I turned my head to look, anyways.
Why did I agree to stay friends with him? I already knew this would happen. Now my heart hurts, and I feel broken once again.
The aphobia runs deep with this one, I guess.
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natalinova · 3 months
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why is there fucking aphobia in the aromantic tag GET AWAY FROM US
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convolutedblasphemy · 1 month
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Bro Twitter is so aphobic I swear I feel like most people there fucking hate the ace community for existing. I saw someone on a thread saying they never experience sexual desire and saying "maybe I'm broken or something" and I wanted to help and suggested maybe they might be ace, just a possibility, bc that's something a lot of ace people feel and it didn't even take 2 minutes for aphobes to find my tweet and start shitting on me
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irequirealobotomy · 10 days
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”you know, i dont care if you like girls ^^ i dont mind lesbians” says my mom, like i havent been out as trans and aro for months now
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just-an-enby-lemon · 1 year
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Came out as aroace to my mum sartuday. Weirdest conversation of my life. Her first reaction was of course "so I won't have grandchildren" but that's not the fun part.
So after an akward conversation about kids (I do want to adopt childrem but I think it would be equaly great if I didn't want childrem - a trait that has nothing to do with being aroace and a lot to do with your opinion on having kids - and it should be no one's bussiness except the people who having or not having kids). And the very cool revelation my mom does have an aro friend. We got this:
"You are hermafrodite then?"
"No? Hermafrodite is an outdated and offensive way to say interesex, mom." I said fully beliving my mother knew what intersex meant.
"Oh, sorry, so you are intersex!"
"No?? Intersex people are people who are born with primary and/or secundary charactheristics of both sexes."
"Just like you." Me remembering I did try to come out as non-binary to my mother and she ignored it.
"No..." Too tired and confused to explain that sex and gender are different things " I mean physical charactheristics, like having both genitals for example."
"Oh okay, so you are ... what's the word... an a- angel."
"An angel?"
"Yes, don't people say angels have no sex."
"Mom, I don't think that's the type of sex they are refering to?" Again I came out as aroace not non-binary and even if so I'm not agender. If something I have too much gender.
"But they also don't. You are an angel. That's how I see it."
"Okay?"
And that was the very weird conversation we had.
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yuwigqi · 1 month
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You know. As someone who's a queer hate crime survivor.
I really can't put up with anyone trying to divide our community.
Like, do lesbian TERFs realize that without trans people, they are dead. Do you realize that we are surviving by the skin of our teeth in no small part due to the numbers we have.
Do you realize that if we kick out asexuals, we are significantly hurting our own defenses.
Do you realize if you kick out kinky queers, you are actively harming queer kids.
Every attempt to divide our community follows the same process every time
People feel excluded, and stop being active in queer spaces. Then our queer spaces are easier to eradicate due to there being less people fighting for them.
When you're beaten down, and I mean literally, when you are bloody on the side of the road, covered in spit and piss, you are going to be thankful for every single hand who reaches out to help you up. I've needed every one of those hands, and you will not take them from me.
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bluestrangerjellyfish · 7 months
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Always a good day when someone marked red with Shinigami Eyes blocks you.
For the record, asexuals & aromantics aren't straight. If they were, then there wouldn't be the need for a separate word to describe them. They would just fall under heterosexuality & heteromanticism. Since they don't, guess what? They're queer, and are subject to all the same prejudices as other queer people.
Anyone who claims otherwise is definitely drinking the TERF koolaid, even if they don't want to admit it or don't actually fall under the "RF" part of that acronym.
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foggysilverfeathers · 3 months
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Nothing like turning an aphobic ‘article’ (although calling an offensively sarcastic and highly opinionated piece of writing a news article is a bit of a stretch) into some blackout poetry ✌️
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We are berated by some.
We are queer.
We are not scared.
We are here.
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