#truly the 'i can't believe i have to fuck that old man' 'you don't have to' 'no I'm gonna' character of all time <3
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Still so sad that Merle Highchurch's canonically nonbinary plant-person partner who can't fucking stand him but is still infatuated with him and also they share a psychic unbreakable bond tying them together- as far as we know forever- all because the two's bosses thought it'd be funny to set them up together isn't like. A well known thing in the fandom </3 they're so funny </3 my psionic warriors think about Kuo Adventurezone for me please and thank you
#I LOVE YOU KUO ADVENTUREZONE YOU'RE SO SILLY I WISH MORE PEOPLE KNEW YOU <3 YOU GO THROUGH SO MUCH BULLSHIT FOR NO REASON <3#truly the 'i can't believe i have to fuck that old man' 'you don't have to' 'no I'm gonna' character of all time <3#I'm gonna be completely honest half the time i make these posts I'm paranoid i made up an imaginary sequel in my head and none of it's real#but that's my paranoia issues speaking!! luckily i can go back and listen to The Zone of Adventure: Imbalance and remind myself it's real#merle highchurch#merle hightower highchurch#merle taz#taz merle#merle x kuo#kuo x merle#taz kuo#kuo taz#kuo adventurezone#kuo highchurch#<- maybe? not canon (yet) but it would be funny so I'm keeping it#oh also very much a silly and very simplified way of describing their dynamic for humor's sake i hope that's clear lol
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I'm in a angsty, fluffy, sensitive babie mood. You know that silly prank people do where they text/talk to their partner all serious about having to confess something serious just to tell them "I'm Batman". So imagine Bucky does that but he has no idea how badly it would trigger you.
"Y/n" Bucky entered your shared bedroom quietly, letting his heavy duffle bag hit the ground with a thud. "There's-there's something I have to tell you"
"What is it, is everything okay baby" You set down the book you were reading, growing worried seeing his fallen expression. He sighs, slowly approaching the bed and taking a seat by the edge next to you. You move to see if he's injured anywhere but he stops you, resting his hand on your leg.
"I'm fine. It's just-something I've been meaning to tell you. Probably something I should've told you a long time ago" He bites his lip contemplating his next words, itching to burst into a fit of giggles. "I have to tell you the truth"
"Tell me the truth?" Your stomach drops and your throat starts to tighten. "You can tell me Bucky, anything" You struggle to keep your voice steady, holding your breath, waiting for his next words.
"It's just-I can't believe I kept this from you and it isn't fair to you at all, you know?" He runs his hand through is locks while keeping his blue eyes cast down. "It's been going on for about a year now..."
If you weren't already sitting down, you would've passed out. All the pervious anxieties you'd had in past relationships, all the deep insecurities and worries you had came pouring out at once, your deepest fears coming true.
Of course Bucky was seeing someone else.
Of course you weren't good enough.
Of course he cheated on you just like the last guy, why did you think you deserved someone to love you, obviously-
"I'm bat man!-baby? baby, what's wrong" Bucky went from giggling like a madman to feeling pure dread within a matter of seconds seeing your tear streaked face. His nervous act was no longer just an act, anxiety filling his chest seeing you so distraught. "Oh God, baby don't cry, I was joking, c'mere"
"W-what?" You sniffled, trying to swallow down a hiccup while Bucky scrambled to scoop you in his arms, wiping away your tears.
"I was just kidding around with you doll, I said I was bat man, I didn't mean to upset you babygirl" Bucky cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head while you slowly got your breathing under control again. Bucky truly thought you would've whacked him with a pillow or playfully shoved him off the bed, never in a million years did he think you'd take actually any of this seriously. You whimpered in his arms as he squeezed you tighter, continuing to give you soft, sweet kisses.
"Baby-do you-do you really think I'd ever cheat on you?" He spoke softly, keeping you cradled in a ball, close to his body. A part of him felt hurt that you felt that way, that he'd ever given you room to think he would do such a thing. He thought he was going to cry, the very thought of being with anyone else made his heart hurt.
"I thought you were seeing someone else" you whispered, old pains of coming in second resurfacing. "Maybe you found someone better-
"Never" Bucky moved to cup your cheeks firmly in his hands, making you look at him, "I would never. I love you so much angel, so much it fucking hurts. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wouldn't even dream of someone else. I couldn't, I-fuck, you're everything to me" His own voice nearly cracked with emotion, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you. I love you like I've loved no one else, you have my heart sweet girl"
"Promise?" You toyed with his dogtags while he pressed his lips firms to yours, sealing every bit of his feelings with that kiss.
"I promise baby" He pulled you down to lay with your head resting on his chest, his hand gently playing with your hair, "So back to what I was confessing - Ow"
...
"I deserved that"
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#marvel angst#avengers angst#bucky barnes x f reader#bucky barnes x freader#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky x f reader#bucky x fluff#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky fandom#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes
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On Your Knees Pt.2
ONE | TWO
synopsis: They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but this one seems eager for a treat.
warnings! MDNI 18+, fem!reader, incel!seungmin, pussy eating/fingering, PIV (raw), edging (m!), blue balls, multiple orgasms (f!), dom reader (kinda), banter, prolly more that I missed lol
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Seungmin doesn't think there'll be any way for him to live how he has been. Even the friends he spends time with hardly compare to the time he spends on the bathroom floor eating you out. Embarrassingly enough, it's all he can think about. Even as the podcast he's watching blares through his headphones, he can barely make out what they're saying.
Something about how it's submissive for a man to eat pussy. How demeaning the act is for a man to do. Yet, Seungmin questions the validity of what these so-called 'alpha' men are saying. Is it truly so terrible to have the taste of a cunt on your lips? To suck and lick on such a delicious flower?
He shuts his computer off, ripping the headphones by the wire to hone in on his conclusions.
Okay so maybe this is normal. Seungmin's a big boy; it makes sense that he would eat pussy sooner or later. And if he liked it, that's also fine. He's a man, after all, it makes more sense to like giving girls head than to hate it.
Just as long as he doesn't try to reach out to you. Now that would be submissive of him. And if there's anything Seungmin is dead set on, it's that he is not submissive.
But days after not seeing you with Han, days of not getting a taste of the pussy that has him whipped has him doing things he's sworn not to do. He found your number, he texted you, and he's going over your house on your conditions.
He's so fucked.
It's too late to turn back by the time he's at your front door. Seungmin only waits a few seconds before the door swings open. He's seen you about a dozen times, but it's the first time he's felt his heart swoop at the sight of you. He reasons it's just because you're in a t-shirt.
"Oh wow," you take a step back and look at him up and down, somewhat in disbelief. "I can't believe you actually came."
Seungmin can't find it in himself to believe he came here on his own violation either. "Whatever," he shivers from the cold, night air. "Are you gonna let me in or what?"
You take a step aside to make room, "Since you asked so nicely."
Seungmin takes awkward steps into your apartment, noting the cozy setup and simple plants littered in your living space. His fingertips run on the soft material of the couch, pulling on the loose threads automatically.
You walk past him, taking a seat on your couch and reaching for the remote. "I was just about to put something on," you turn and look up at him. "Come on."
Tentatively, Seungmin walks around the sofa to you. Just before he takes his seat, you click your tongue. "Nope. On the floor." You point to the space between your legs. Seungmin hands close and open, unsure what to make of the situation. You sigh and loll your head to the side, looking at him unamused. "You gonna sit down or what?"
Seungmin glowers at you, "I am. You don't need to be such as ass about it." He grumbles a little more before bending down and crossing his legs to face the TV. "Nope, wrong way," you twirl your finger in a circular motion to indicate him to face you instead.
He looks at you confused, "But you said we were gonna put something on." You shake your head at him, "No. I said I'm gonna put something on. I never said anything about you." A hint of red begins to show on Seungmin's face, but before he has the chance to most likely curse you, you spread your legs.
You can practically see the words die in Seungmin's throat at the sight of your bare cunt. He acts before he can think, twisting his body fully and gripping the underside of your thighs to spread you further. It's better than he remembers.
"This is why you came, right?" You look down at him. "Missed the taste of this pussy?"
Seungmin licks his lips, nodding mindlessly. Something about taste and pussy, but he understood nonetheless. His tongue pokes out, but you grip his hair and yank him upwards. Seungmin whines, like an animal tore away from his meal, but you ignore it. "You're just here to make me feel good, got it? You don't get to cum, only I do. Do you understand?"
You have to shake his head to force an answer out of him. "Yes yes yes." He shifts anxiously in your hold. "Only you. I'll make you feel good."
Despite his desperation, you smile. "Good boy. Go ahead."
The moment your grip loosens, Seungmin latches onto your core. It's soft, it's warm, it's good. He moans into your cunt, inhaling through his nose and he dips his tongue between your folds. It's only been days since he's tasted you, but it feels far too long. How could he go a single minute without tasting you? Getting that sticky arousal on his lips so the taste could mingle in his mouth the entire day? Seungmin puckers his lips and kisses your cunt, a thank you for introducing him to a whole new world.
Your fingers mindlessly click on the buttons of the remote as you try and find a show. You keep switching back and forth between options, clicking random buttons until you accidentally set the caption to a different language. One of your hands pet the top of Seungmin's head, pushing back his hair and twirling it in your fingers.
His tongue slides down until it catches your entrance, barely prodding it until he slides it back up to your clit. He swirls your bud in his mouth, sucking and licking until your hips buck. "Shit," you breathe. "You really missed my pussy, huh?"
Seungmin opens his eyes to look up at you. He turns his head sideways to place your clit in his mouth, flicking your clit rapidly. That's as much of an answer as you're getting, but it does the job. He lifts his head back up and sucks harshly, pulling on your sensitive flesh before releasing it. You shiver and moan, feeling your arousal drip onto the couch that you'll make him clean up later.
"Fuck yes," your grip tighten on his hair. "Finger me." Seungmin leans back and uses his hands to rub your pussy. His fingers rub and swirl around your core until they're drenched. He trails them down until they catch your entrance, pushing his middle and ring finger in.
You throw the remote on the couch and grip the cushions. The stretch is slight, but his fingers are long. They reach much deeper than you could ever do yourself, and you let out a loud moan when they finally settle all the way inside. Seungmin pumps you slowly, getting used to how your walls pulse and clench around him. He watches as your cunt swallows his fingers. His cock throbs in his pants.
"Shiiit," you throw your head back onto the headrest. "I'll cum if you keep doing that."
That's all he's ever wanted. Seungmin places his mouth back onto your clit where his tongue flattens against your cunt. He moves his head up and down while thrusting his fingers in and out. Both of your hands are tugging on his hair, pulling and pushing him away.
"Already?" He pulls away for a moment to speak. "Didn't think you'd be this easy, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised." A devilish smile appears on his lips as you lift your head to look at him. You wish you could come up with a snide remark, but your head starting to feel fuzzy and all you can focus on is how close you are.
You push his head back to your pussy and wrap your legs around his body, locking him in. "I'll make you regret saying that."
Seungmin laughs into your cunt, happy that he succeeded in pissing you off. Now that he's pushed against you, it's a little difficult to finger you as rapidly, but you rather like the shallow thrusts. It gives you more to clench down on and ride while he licks your clit. You buck your hips and ride his face inelegantly. The first hints of your orgasm build in your stomach, making your body feel unbelievably warm as your hips stutter.
"Fuck," you rasp. "Imma cum." You blink a few times and lazily smile at him, "Did you miss the taste of that too?"
As an answer, Seungmin buries himself so deep into you that his nose is pressed against your clit. The extra texture is enough to send you over the edge, creaming on his fingers and twitching in his mouth. He happily gulps down your arousal, slipping his fingers out to replace them with his tongue instead.
You just taste so good. Seungmin is delightfully reminded of how it felt to swallow you for the first time, how the taste settled on his tastebuds. His tongue scoops out the white cream your pussy flooded out and spreads it on your clit before licking it back up again.
He hums, shoving his cum-stained fingers when you finally release him from your hold.
Seungmin wants it again. His hands splay over your thighs to spread them. After all, it's you who gets to cum. It's only fair he makes sure you can as much as possible. But before his tongue has the chance to find its rightful place in your pussy, you snap your legs shut.
He looks up at you like a wounded dog, "Hey! Open them back up!"
Seungmin isn't sure what he's expecting to see, but it definitely isn't how you look right now. Flushed with a heaving chest, eyes that are wide and full of arousal, and a cheeky smile on your bitten lips. He's reminded of how pretty you actually are.
"Get up," you snap him out of his thoughts. "Take off your pants too."
He doesn't need to be told twice. Seungmin rises from his aching knees and fumbles with his belt. He unties it quickly before undoing the top of his pants, shoving them down along with his boxers. You gasp, eyes locking with his cock for the first time.
"Holy shit," you slap a hand over your mouth. He's hard. His cock is red at the tip, leaking with so much precum you think he's had to stain his underwear. You can almost see it twitching from lack of attention, begging to be touched.
Seungmin smiles, grabbing the base and squeezing it. "You like it, huh?" It's not easy to take your gaze off his length to look into his eyes instead. The sight of him has you aching to be filled. Your pussy clenches around nothing, but you keep your nose upturned, "It's alright."
He scoffs, but the smile never fades. You widen your legs and welcome him, watching as he gets into a half-squat position to angle his cock towards your entrance. Seungmin rubs his tip over your sensitive clit. When it catches your nub, you jolt. You wrap your legs around him and bring him closer. He does it again, this time pressing the head of his cock down to apply pressure.
You reason he's doing this on purpose. Making your pussy squelch and your hips jolt to try and get him inside. As much as you hate to admit it, he's good with his dick. Teasing you by slowly dragging the fat of his head down your slit, slapping his tip and your wet cunt. You're annoyingly reminded of what he said days ago; 'I can make a girl cum. I just don't care to.'
The words echo in your mind and you scrunch your nose. "God, fuck! Stop pissing me off and put it in already."
For a moment, you think he's going to defy you. His tip trails lower and lower until it's against your entrance. Seungmin steadies his cock at the base and pushes forwards, barely spreading you open. "Didn't think I'd ever hear you begging for my cock," he smiles at you teasingly. "You were being such a feminist the other day. What happened?"
Not-so-nice words begin to form in your head and before you get the chance to spew them out, Seungmin pushes all the way in. His cock stretches you out more than you anticipated, and it's whines that leave your lips instead. He doesn't give you the chance to adjust as he pulls nearly all the way, save for his tip, before slamming back in. Your entire body jolts and you whimper again.
Your pussy can't keep up with his pace, but you hardly mind the pain. It blurs into white pleasure that burns hot in your cunt.
"You hear that?" Seungmin pants through his thrusts. "That's the sound of your pussy getting fucked by an...what was it again? An incel?" He laughs as your eyes darken with anger, seething with a type of emotion you're not too familiar with.
You reach out the grip his wrist that's placed on the side of the couch, digging your nails into his flesh. Seungmin hardly notices the pain, his teeth shining in his shit-eating smile.
The words are stuck in your throat. You want no more than to tell Seungmin how much of an ass he is, that his cock is merely adequate, but you can't. Every drag of his length rubs against your walls deliciously. You can practically feel every vein on him as he fucks you raw. He makes your hot pussy even hotter and he, unfortunately for you, keeps dragging his cock against that sweet spot deep inside you.
"You," a breath from you, "are a dick."
Strangely enough, your words seem to spur him on more. He tears his hand from your iron grip to place them both under your hips. Seungmin angles your hips upwards and drives forward, shoving his cock unbelievably deeper. Your hands shoot up to your face, trying to block all sounds of pleasure, but Seungmin can hear them. He can hear the gasping behind your fingers, the high-pitched moans muffled in your hands.
Seungmin laughs, but it sounds winded. "A dick huh? That's funny. You seem to like being fucked by one."
It occurs to you that you've been too lenient on him. Letting him eat the very same pussy he's thrusting into, letting him fuck you raw. His attitude needs some shaping.
You let him keep fucking you. You let his cock throb and twitch in your pussy. He's close, but he's doing good at holding back. Seungmin must be used to dumping his cum and leaving, but he seems to hold out just for you. It's cute, but your plan is better.
Your head bounces with every thrust. Seungmin makes sure to keep his long fingers at your clit the entire time, switching between pinching and flicking against it. It helps to build your second orgasm. Your jaw falls open and your moans become more frequent.
"Shit," he breathes. "Pussy gripping me so tight. Is someone gonna cum again?"
Blinking up at him, you nod. Your hand grips your chest, squeezing your boobs underneath the material as you keep nodding. "Mhm. Keep fucking my pussy and I'll cream all over your cock." That does it for him. Seungmin has been holding back his orgasm so much that his ears feel like they might burst.
With new vigor, he fucks into you harder, deeper. Seungmin doesn't try to hide the animalistic sounds he makes, groaning and moaning as your walls wrap around his cock. "You want my cum, huh? Acting all big and strong when it's you're begging for it. Say it. Tell me you want my cum."
You don't, not because you're prideful, but because you can't. He's thrusting into you so roughly that words seem to leave you. His hand pulls your clit roughly, and the harsh tug drives you over the edge. You squeeze your breasts so tightly to anchor yourself. You can feel how your pussy floods with your cum, leaving your legs trembling and shaking.
Seungmin can feel it too. The pulsing, the wetness. It's enough to finally let him release. His balls tighten, his dick twitches, and he-
"Pull out."
Seungmin doesn't know why he listens. He was so close to his orgasm, he could still taste it on his tongue. But your demand outweighs his need to cum. With a wail, he pulls out. A small whimper makes its way past you as he finally slips out, cock shining in your cum.
His cock is red, rubbed nearly raw from how good he was keeping himself at bay. You can see the head of his cock pulsing, worse than the first time you saw it. A wicked smile finds your lips.
"Do you remember what I said earlier, Seungie?" You speak with artificial gentleness. Seungmin is too busy trying not to cum, squeezing the base of his cock almost painfully. You have to repeat your question before he finally looks up to you. "Huh? About what?"
"About who gets to cum," you remind him. "Who is it that gets to cum tonight?"
Seungmin thinks back about how you presented your cunt to him, bare and wet. He briefly recalls how you said something about being the only one to cum, but he was so entranced by your sweet pussy that he hardly cared.
He frowns, face flushed. "But that's not fair! I ate you out. You came on my tongue. You came on my dick. I'm so hard and-"
"And that doesn't matter," you interrupt him. "I never said you can cum. That's your fault for assuming you could." You have to bite back you smile at his pitiful reaction.
Even with his dejected look, you can't help but find it somewhat cute. You fake a pout and click your tongue, "Poor thing. Here, kisses will make you feel better."
Seungmin wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't you widening your legs and him falling to his knees. Yet, he does just that. You feel his warm, wet tongue on your throbbing clit. Sucking and licking eagerly like he forgot about the aching cock between his legs.
You fondly brush the hair from his face as he eats you out for the second time tonight. His eyes look up to you with your clit in your mouth and you shiver. Seungmin will be a handful for sure, but you can't help but think you've found the perfect diamond in the rough.
a/n: omfg I actually had a whole different idea but I scraped it and did this instead :p. if you wanna ask for a third part, please don't, I have no more plot for this fic tags: @mynsung, @andassortedkpop, @jminnnnnnn, @geneziesm, @applekiwi3202, @i6gyuu, @lazycarolinamoment, @lewoh-ot8-wh0re, @ihave-atummyache, @seeeeking-skz, @loeyscock, @blankdyean, @dini-recs, @yzsqu, @desirehorizon-recsextra a/n: I need to start asking if people want tags rather than looking through my comments and see who was asking for a pt 2 :(
#smut#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz#stray kids#skz seungmin#stray kids seungmin#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#seungmin#seungmin stray kids#seungmin skz#seungmin skz smut#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours
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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES3
MARS CONJUNCT JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show a great deal of sexual chemistry between 2 people! Sometimes a little2 great?? It can shift at times, love. Sex can be a daily thing here! Jupiter encourages Mars competitiveness, and Mars leans on Jupiter4support/wisdom or just their "happy, go lucky" attitude. They can really enjoy being out together, instead of just staying home. Can sometimes end up doing wild/stupid things 2gether, because they don’t know their limits - UNLESS some serious Saturn/Cap is involved ofc. Look at sign/s/&house/s 2 c how this conjunction exactly plays out!
MARS SQUARE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show sexual attraction yes, but it will cause a loooot of friction. Jupiter being very "U know I'm always right", & the Mars person coming with 40 reasons why the Jupiter person is not right. Endless battle of different beliefs, not coming2an agreement. Jupiter "knows best", &Mars won't “put up with it”. Jupiter can "belittle" Mars, with their "preaching" a lot. Can also show different sexual preferences later in the relationship. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2 be better than Mars, &why Mars won't let Jupiter take a win.
MARS OPPOSITE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show chemistry - AT FIRST. The Jupiter person loves to provoke the Mars person - make them go loca/make them feel like there's something wrong with them over the smallest things&Mars acts out by getting mad or aggressive. Can also show that they have different needs, when it comes 2 sexual things after a little while - what they want, need, how they go about it etc. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2test/play games with the Mars person &why Mars can't use their "higher mind" instead of acting out
Look at your Chiron persona chart 2 c what kind of hurt you've been through/will go through.
Let's say u have SUN CONJUNCT IC IN PISCES in this chart, then that shows us that your father has/father figure/s/ have hurt u VERY deeply, when u were/are at home with them. They would/will hurt u with their "drinking”/"drugs", or "unrealistic expectations" (Pisces). It can also be that your dad wasn't even around/gone a lot, & that's the "scar". It follows u throughout your life, even when it's in your persona chart.
🤍 SUN SQUARE/QUINCUNX MOON in this chart, causes a scar between the way u express your pain through your ego - Sun, and how u really want your pain 2 be seen with your Moon/how u emotionally seek to feel comfortable with showing your pain. They don't work together, before u finally learn how 2 live with whatever self expression you're meant to have. Internal fights with yourself because again, you show your pain one way (through your sun), but that's not the way your moon feels content/safe showing your pain, when it squares your Moon.
SUN TRINE MOON in this chart can have an easy time "healing" their Chiron with the way they express themselves (Sun), and with how they find a balance between pain and healing. They can even help other people, because of their ease, 2 find a way 2 stay sane, while going through pain - (Trine). But as I always say. I don't believe u ever "fully" heal your Chiron, so ofc it's not always good with this aspect either. Chiron is pain, and most people do not heal their Chiron.
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I’ve already said this on my old blog, but if you’re interested in seeing your husband/Wife - future husband/wife = LOOK AT YOUR GROOM ASTEROID - 5129 PERSONA CHART/BRIEDE ASTEROID - 19029 PERSONA CHART
JUNO PERSONA CHART shows the people u truly commit 2 here in life - people who doesn't want 2 marry - their folks shows up here<33 - it also shows u how, & what u need 2 commit<33.
Look at ADRASTEA asteroid - 239 PERSONA CHART 2c the traumas u couldn't escape/can’t escape.
If you're a WOMAN, & a man has/or men have caused u trauma/sexual trauma, please look at your LILITH PERSONA CHART - 1181).
Look at ABUNDANTIA asteroid - 151) PERSONA CHART 2 c how, &where you receive abundance/where you’re “lucky”.
Look at your ANGEL asteroid - 11911) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you're the most "protected"/where people can't fuck with u. It also shows u your "job” here - “contracts” you’ve made, before coming here.
Look at your MONY asteroid - 7782) PERSONA CHART 2c where u can make a buck/Where u will, or won't have problems with making/getting money.
Look at your JACK LONDON asteroid - 2625) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you'll get the biggest “wtf, is this really happening to me, moments”. Good or bad.
MARS CONJUNCT/SQUARE/QUINCUNX NEPTUNE can show a person doing drugs💊/getting high🍁/or drinking a lot🥃. Can love getting high/drunk, bc they love getting away from "reality"/loves "being in their own world". Hating being "present" here&now. "Reality sucks sometimes"💋.
VENUS OPPOSITE ASC/CONJUNCT DSC typically gets very beautiful romantic partners throughout life, & experiences very loving relationships/marriages. They themselves can also be very loving towards their close partnerships - business relationships even/or just towards their very close ones - like lovers/close friends or family members. Relationships with models/artistic/entertaining/or creative people = something u see very often here2. They don't really like to fight/argue with the ones they hold close, but would rather just be in loving relations. Unless Venus is afflicted, ofc.
JUPITER CONJUNCT NEPTUNE usually has some top dollar insights into what the fuck we're doing here. They get "downloads", without them knowing exactly why they suddenly know something/they just know they're right in their belief/s. They can be really into spirituality, "mystical things", & "things people won't always believe in". Can be quite “protected” from somewhere2. People can also feel "small" next 2 this individual, cuz they're typically seen as this "larger than life" person. "Lucky2be around them".
THANKS4READING LOVE!!!
APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS🖤.
#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#astro community#asteroids#synastry#persona chart#chiron#astrology notes#mars astrology
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"people only pick on trans people because they're easy targets" yeah no shit they're easy targets just like flat earthers and antivaxxers. what they believe is absolutely fucking insane when you think about it for more than 2 seconds.
the idea of trans is no different from the idea of predestination.
predestination says only those who have been chosen by god will be saved and will go to heaven. how do you know you're predestined? there is literally no way to tell externally. there is no test you take to make sure you're predestined. you just have to put your faith in jesus and know, internally, in your heart, or whatever. funny how literally everyone who believes this also happens to be one of the ~chosen ones~.
the idea of being trans is that some people are born in the wrong body. how do you know you're born in the wrong body? there is literally no external way to tell, aside from maybe a few "am I trans?" quizlets (which as we all know are 100% accurate always and only made by professionals and not 12 year old furries). you just look inside, or whatever, and somehow "know" or you decide for yourself. then, based on your own self-reporting, which you have no way to externally verify, you expect people to bend to your will and you expect society to give you special privileges that no one else gets. no other man gets to pee in the ladies' or compete in women's sports but once you self-id as trans? well, right this way "ma'am", pay no mind to the women cowering in fear of you. their rights don't matter nearly as much as your feelings. funny how damn near everyone who believes in this also happens to be trans themselves, will a few outliers.
even "gender critical" transes like mr. blaire white and ms. buck angel will talk in hours upon hours of videos about the importance of gatekeeping and protecting women's spaces, yet /they/ demand the exact same privileges as every other "fake" (in their words) trans person on tiktok. do you seriously think "fake" trans people are going to listen to you and suddenly not go into the women's? No! are you fucking kidding me? it's so much easier to tell a buck or a blaire to fuck off than it is to a delusional fetishist who will 100% either hurt you or make a scene. there is no "true trans" because EVERYONE claims to be truly trans, everyone from bruce jenner to the "IT IS MA'AM" gamestop dude.
it fucking baffles me how youtube skeptics - people i used to admire, people who taught me how to think critically about shit - will spend all damn day dunking on flat earthers and creationists but will turn a blind eye to the trans cray and will even go as far as to support them. they think they're so above it all and they can't be fooled, but they have been, and I keep waiting for them to snap out of it - just like I waited for my own family to snap out of christianity - but they haven't.
if you seriously think a dress and some hormones and plastic surgery will make a man into a woman, you're insane, and you're no more crazy than a youtuber who thinks antarctica is an ice wall or a pastor who still prays to his "sky daddy". you have no right to make fun of these people for the insane shit they believe when you believe in this nonsense. you are quite literally the pot calling the kettle black.
and if you're one of those people who's like "oh well i know they're not actually women i just call them that to avoid hurting their feelings" im sorry but you're still in this cult, you're physically in but mentally out and the only way to really get out is to call a spade a spade, admit the emperor has no clothes, admit you were fooled just like me - just like all of us - and speak out against it.
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Just A Kiss
Joining the congrats train for @withacapitalp, happy birthday Liam! You're not escaping the frog theme and cursed Steve, not on my watch.
"Look man, I don't really care if you're actually a prince, a model or a lying hobo, the answer is still no."
The frog looked at him with so much sass Eddie actually considered caving in, but...nah. It was disgusting. Even though it looked kind of cute with that weird pattern on its head that looked like a really fluffy mane of hair, light brown eyes and slight pout. "Like it's going to kill you, man," it croaked out and Eddie took another drag from his cigarette. Talking frogs. Yep, just another normal day in Hawkins.
"Look, even if I wanted to, which I don't - zoofilia isn't cool under any pretense, just for your info - I'm pretty sure I'm just high as a kite. You're a frog, which duh, you probably know that, but...uh. I don't want to wake up in the morning with the unsettling knowledge that I smooched some poor non-consenting animal and all I got from that was some rash on my mouth. Hey, can animals even consent? That's...no, you can't." One more drag of his cigarette. Maybe two. Make it another cigarette, shit. He didn't think that one joint was so strong.
The frog rolled his eyes again. "I'm not telling you to go and such face with a dolphin or something. Plus animals don't give consent because they a) can't talk, b) aren't cursed human beings. Like yours truly."
Eddie bit the filter in a futile attempt to sober up. Didn't help. "So you've said. Cursed human. Sorry if I don't believe you, froggy."
"It's Steve."
Eddie snorted out the smoke through his nose. "Steve. A frog named Steve."
There it was, that adorable eye roll again. "It's a temporary frog, otherwise full-time human Steve." It even tried to put its...paws? No, not paws, frogs don't have paws, legs? Front legs? Cute legs. Those, on its...hips? Eddie didn't know enough about frog anatomy but hell. It was adorable.
He giggled, brushing back his hair. "Sure, full-time human Steve. Is this a part-time job, then? A hobby?"
"A fucking curse, that's what it is." The frog almost growled, except it ended the annoyed tone with an unintentional ribbit. "Shit. Have you ever had hiccups? This - ribbit - oh god fuck why - ribbit - is worse."
Eddie just shook his head, wondering if he'd remember this trip the next day. He hoped so. "You'd think it would be natural to you." When the frog - sorry, Steve - just stared, he corrected himself. "For a frog, I mean. Which you're obviously not, except now you are-"
"Which part of a it-was-a-curse-from-an-old-hag-my-dad-pissed-off-a-few-decades-ago don't you understand? Ribbit, god make it stop-"
"Pretty much everything that wasn't a ribbit, pal," grinned Eddie and lit another cigarette. But it was a bit too quiet and when he turned to part-time-frog Steve, he wondered if maybe the trip was finally going away, if he'd just been chilling with an innocent frog for which his nerdy brain made a full page of lore, except- "What?" he asked the frog who was eyeing his smokes.
The frog groaned and tried to rub its still-not-sure-if-leg-or-paw over its forehead. "Look, if you're not willing to put me out of my misery either by - ribbit fuck this - stepping on me or giving me an absolutely consensual kiss, at least give me a cigarette. After the day I've had, I really need it."
"Uhhhh..." Eddie thought for a moment. Was it animal cruelty if he lit up a cigarette and put it next to a frog? The frog didn't have to smoke it, right? And he had no way of verifying if the frog was a minor. In...frog years or whatever.
The frog narrowed its eyes at him. "A kiss or a cigarette, dude. Choose now."
"Geez, so demanding for such a little guy," grumbled Eddie but obliged, lit another cigarette and handed it to the frog...the frog who grabbed it with both palms and took a long drag from it, closing its eyes.
"I really, really needed this," it muttered. Eddie wondered it being a frog would help him save on the smokes. It looked like its lungs were fairly small, one cigarette would last him for ages, but how would he buy them? So many questions...questions interrupted by Steve blowing a tiny puff of smoke from its - his? - mouth and looking at Eddie. "Don't you have better things to do than smoke with a temporary frog on a Friday evening?"
Eddie rolled his eyes. "I liked you better when all you could say was ribbit. But actually no, I'm waiting for a few of my friends."
And wow, could that frog smirk. "Can't wait to meet them."
Eddie was still pretty convinced that kissing a frog was off the table. But when a familiar pizza van parked next to him, Jonathan and Argyle jumping out, he found himself reconsidering. Just a little. Because it would have saved him from the following conversation.
"How are you doing, my man?" smiled Argyle and pulled Eddie into a hug, cracking his spine in the process. Argyle's bear hugs tended to do that.
Jonathan just stood there, staring. "Is that frog smoking a cigarette?"
The world slowed down and Eddie was just about to explain that the weed was a bit too strong this time and he might have hallucinated that the frog was talking to him, but then it blew another cloud of smoke from its tiny mouth and glared at Jonathan. "You've got a problem with that?" it asked in a dangerous croak.
"Oh yeah," offered Eddie weakly, "guys, this is Steve. Steve, this is Jonathan and Argyle."
And Argyle, bless his perpetually stoned heart, just walked towards Steve and shook his front leg/paw/hand/whatever. "Cool, nice to meet you, dude! Hey, do you just smoke cigarettes or are you in for some Purple Palm Tree Delight?"
Full time Steve or whatever just gave a pleased ribbit. "I thought you'd never ask."
And that's how Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle ended up stoned out of their minds...along with a frog. The nights were warm and they ended up napping next to each other in a patch of grass next to the Lover's Lake, setting tiny stoned Steve to the side to make sure no one crushed him in their sleep. And Eddie, in his blissed out state of mind, really didn't look forward to the next morning. Froggy Steve was fun. He liked Steve. He didn't look forward to the moment he'd have to accept that Steve was just a shared hallucination between the three of them.
Except...
Except in the morning, he got woken up by someone cuddling him. And that wasn't unusual, Argyle was a cuddler, except he was wrapped around Jonathan like a very dependent octopus. Maybe it was the blanket. Yes, definitely, the blanket must have fallen off him and crumpled behind his back and-
And the blanket snored.
Flipping around, he found himself face to face with an absolutely gorgeous young man. The bitchy slope of his eyebrow, furrowed in sleep, the numerous moles...Eddie's breath hitched.
Before he realized what was happening, his eyes opened and the lazy smile he gave Eddie made him want to jump in the lake and swim to the other side and back. Just to cool down a little bit. "Morning, Eddie," he yawned and Eddie recognized that voice. With or without the ribbit.
"...Steve?" he tried, and the smile just widened. "Oh god, this is going to sound so weird, but I was really convinced that you were a frog when I met you yesterday."
Steve just stretched those biteable arms above his head and groaned, closing his eyes again. Only then did Eddie notice he was wearing his spare clothes, a bit too tight and mismatched, but it was all he had in the van. "I was a frog, man. Is your memory usually this bad?"
Eddie's mouth hung open. Oh okay. That explained everything. Except it fucking didn't. "Uhhhh...no. I mean. I remembered you being a frog so it's a good thing, no?" Squinting at Steve, he slowly added, "how come you're not a frog anymore?" It sounded stupid, even to him.
But Steve just rolled his eyes with clear affection. "It's what I told you when I met you. A kiss."
"Did I kiss a frog? I mean, you?!" he blurted out before he could catch himself, unsure which one of those two things shocked him more.
One more disapproving head shake. "Shit memory, told you. Nah, it was Argyle. We were high, I mentioned the curse thing and Argyle just said "anything for my bro" and kissed me. I turned back and you...uh. Kind of freaked out because I didn't have any clothes on, so you raced back to your van to get me something. Then we smoked a bit more and went to sleep."
"Oh." Maybe the weed really was stronger than usual because Eddie's mouth had no filter that morning, even more so than usual. "Is it weird that I'm kind of jealous of him?"
Steve opened one eye and smirked at him. "What, you dream of kissing frogs often?"
Eddie hit his shoulder and laughed, mindful of the sleeping pair next to him. "Nope, but sure will dream of kissing you, pretty boy. Unless that would turn you back. Would it?"
There were hands on his hips pulling him down, back to the inviting grass and towards Steve's warm body. "Only one way to find out," he grinned.
#steddie#implied jargyle#steddie ficlet#steddie drabble#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#stranger things ficlet
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Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist
Key
F - Fluff | A - Angst | S - Smut (Must be 18 or older to read/interact with)
oneshots
Trust Issues A F
how many times do i have to tell you you can trust me?
Long Long Night * S
"I'm not done with you." or big dick joel miller fucks you hard
NSFW Alphabet* S
Can't Break a Promise A F
of course the one patrol you're on without Joel is the one that lands you with a knife in your side.
Taken It Easy* S
“Don’t fucking stop, baby.” or you ride a cowboy (even if Joel says he ain't one)
Call My Name A F
Joel is bleeding out and he calls out for someone, but it's not you.
Put On a Brave Face A F
Joel Miller almost loses you the same way he lost his baby girl.
On His Time S
Joel isn't nice and to him you're just a willing cunt to fuck.
You Don't Belong A F
You really like Joel, more than you've ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do.
I Have No Use For Rings Of Gold A F
The citizens of Jackson have already made their mind up about Joel Miller and the sins of his past. But you don't think the man who sits by the sheep can truly be that bad
A Wound That Never Heals A
For the last twenty years you believed your parents to be dead. But after stumbling upon Jackson with Joel and Ellie you come to discover that's not true at all.
Desire S
You need money and a offering your body for some mutual pleasure doesn't seem like a bad idea. If only you could know the man behind the wall who is set on ruining you for anyone else.
Crave S (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)
After the mysterious man you now know as Joel Miller leaves you his address and a message to find him, you do just that. How will the man who ruined you be in person?
Strangers ((NON CON/DUB CON WARNING (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)) S
an attractive man on a crowded train leads to an experience you've never thought you'd ever have
Venom A F
Joel says things he doesn't mean but he's might have pushed it too far this time.
Ups and Downs F
sat next to each other on a rollercoaster as strangers
Kiss and Tell ((Stepdad!Joel) (Part of the Joel Miller Rated XXX series)) S
Joel is your stepdad and your mom goes away for the weekend. Guess its back to normal for the two of you. Normal being fucking behind your mothers back.
beekeeping age F
Joel reads thirst tik tok comments
drabbles
my hero (pre!outbreak Joel) F
best medicine (pre!outbreak Joel) F
beating heart F
dance with me F
rained out F
bad first date F
nursing kink S
squirting S
Series
Joel Miller Rated XXX
A series of joel smut shots based on porn tropes
Say Something (complete) A F
Joel is overprotective to a fault and when he can't express how he feels you leave. But then he comes knocking on your door with a teenage girl and a plea for help. Is it too late to fix what you had before?
The Light Of All Lights (Teacher!Joel x Teacher!Reader) A F
Joel Miller is an AP English teacher on thin ice with administration and a past that has turned him into a cold, withdrawn man. You're the new English 1-2 teacher who didn't get off on the right foot with him. But being forced to work together could change things between the two of you as you learn more about him and about the school.
Bookstore Universe (Bookstore Owner!Joel x Single Mom!Reader)
Miller's Bookstore F
Who knew that taking your daughter to a story time at a local bookstore could lead to meeting its handsome and slightly intimidating owner.
oneshots
Bucket of Bolts F
The dad and the dog he didn't want but its Din Djarin and a BD unit.
Aliit ori’shya tal’din F
Aliit ori’shya tal’din: Family is more than blood
oneshots
You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home F
20 years ago you left your home town to pursue your dreams. Now you're back after your grandmother's passing and you're reunited with your old bestfriend Frankie Morales.
drabbles
sub!frankie S
franking feeling insecure F
frankie going down on you S
Other Pedro Characters
Headcanons
pedro characters getting their dick sucked S
how I think different pedro characters would eat pussy S
pedro characters when you don't feel well
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THINGS TO SAY AFTER KISSING + GOJO SATORU
prompt 4: "never again—"
info: prompt list by @/dumplingsjinson !! bsf!gojo, cw for swearing; not proofread + commissions are open!
you had to admit that your best friend was hot. since your teen years, gojo satoru was loved by girls and boys everywhere, but, even if you could agree he was a gorgeous man, you never understood why they went crazy over him.
when you looked at satoru, all you could see was the insufferable annoying man that you had to deal with everyday; if you tried to ignore him, he would simply show up at your place and not leave until you reassured him that you weren't mad. you loved him, of course, but you never truly understood the people that fawned over him.
"can we kiss?" you asked while he had his head on your lap, his closed eyes opening wide immediately.
his eyebrows shot up. "why? are you finally in love with me?"
you rolled your eyes. of course that would be the first thing he would think about. you slapped his chest, making the man whine—it didn't really hurt him, he just enjoyed being extremely dramatic—, and growled. "no, you fucking idiot!" you placed a hand over your eyes. "nevermind."
he got up and slid closer to you, almost sitting on your lap. his pink lips pouted and he tried to use his boyish charm on you, "no, tell me! you can't leave me curious like that!"
"i was just wondering—" you interrupted yourself with a sigh, imagining the headache he would give you over that. "wondering why people came back to kiss you, because you're a horrible company. that's all. that's why i asked."
the silence that followed your confession was... uncanny.
you didn't have the courage to look at his face. you knew he was getting ready to make fun of you and you would mever hear the end of it. in the eerie silence, you heard him inhale and you opened your mouth, ready to tell him off
"alright."
"fuck off— what?" your eyes went so wide, you thought they would pop out of their sockets. "w-what did you say?"
"i said 'alright'." he smirked, his rosy cheeks being slightly pushed up. "i mean, i always wanted to know how your lips taste like."
you rolled your eyes. of course he would still have his fuckboy attitude. for what seemed the thousandth time that day, you sighed; this time, gojo held your chin and made you turn to look at him. his piercing blue eyes darted from your lips to your eyes.
"you sound like a old geezer when you sigh."
before you could yell at him or make fun of him back, his lips crashed into yours. your anger melted into surprise and you let out a yelp; with a chuckle, satoru deepened the kiss, his tongue invading your mouth. you relaxed in his grip, it wasn't a bad kiss, the way that satoru tilted his head and moved his lips showed that he knew what he was doing. but... it didn't felt right. even after he nibbled at your bottom lip—he knew you adored that—you still couldn't fully enjoy the kiss.
when you both were out of breath, gojo pulled away, a string of spit connecting both of you. he licked it up and closed his eyes. after a couple of second in silence, you both said in unison.
"never again—"
you snapped your heads to look at each other and laughed loudly. you shook your head, silently appreciating that he agreed with your opinion for once. he laid his head on your lap again, this time he was the one sighing. his slender fingers rested against his forehead and he murmured, loud enough to reach your ears.
"can't believe you're the only best friend i don't want to fuck."
you slapped his chest again and you both chuckled.
2024 © content belongs to lehguru, but the characters used in them belong to their respective creators!!
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x you
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I just think its interesting how at the very end of the story, we see Merlin walking past Avalon, the place where he sent off Arthur all those centuries ago. There are many different ways the scene could've went on to display his everlasting loyalty. It easily could've been a scene where maybe Merlin was with his wife and a kid who was named after Arthur, or he became a historian/scholar who kept the Arthurian legends alive after everything he went through or maybe even a physicist trying to build a time machine, find a loop in time to go back and fix the past.
But no.
We see him all alone, old and unequivocally miserable. No longer meddling with fate nor trying anything at all. Lost in a world beyond time that no man should live past or would even be able to comprehend. We see that he never moved on from Arthur, having somewhat a glimmer of hope deep within him. Nobody speaks about how insanely difficult it must have been to have hope especially when you have no end to your own life. As mortals, we can't even bear grief for a short period of time. Yet, Merlin lived the cursed life of an immortal, a life where he will only keep losing everyone he's ever loved. A life full of grief.
In the modern world shown, nobody even believes in magic or practises it and yet he...still believes that someday Arthur will return to him. In the past, he reiterates that he just wants Arthur to see that everything he does is for him. He tells Hunith that Arthur only likes him because he doesn't know him. We see he acknowledges that Arthur is doing acts of service because he likes him yet Merlin couldn't be satiated because he still wasn't his true self to Arthur. To be seen and known for who you truly are is to be loved, that is all he ever wanted from Arthur, even from the very beginning of their relationship.
"You never once sought any credit"
"Its not why I do it"
During the magic reveal, he said "I use it for you, Arthur. Only for you.", still desperately wanting it to be known that his entire life was devoted to Arthur. There was no talk about legalising magic and whatnot between them either after that. He only kept repeating that he was born to serve Arthur. We see in real time just how much he meant when he said "There will never be another like you, Arthur." Evidently, he meant that Arthur is the Once and Future King but it also plays out for Merlin, because there never was anyone like Arthur in his life after that. To the point where he could find no purpose upon losing Arthur.
And yes he keeps saying that its his destiny to be Arthur's servant, that he grew up and learned the meaning of duty but is that really all it is? Towards the end, it was apparent that Merlin's objective was no longer for magic to be accepted in Camelot (as much as he wanted it). Ever since he found out about Arthur's Bane, it was all about keeping him alive. Even when the great dragon told him that there is nothing he could do anymore, Merlin could not accept to lose Arthur. "I can't lose him, he's my friend." It didn't matter that magic isn't legal yet in Camelot. He could not give two fucks about it anymore or else we would've seen magic in the future scene. One can assume that he completely stopped trying to find a solution. Or even lost the will to live.
What I'm trying to say is that, the final scene really is more than just an epilogue to show his loyalty, immortality and despair. If you think about it for a moment, it shows that somewhere along all the fights, snide remarks, banter, and what he and Arthur think isn't exactly a friendship, - they're stupid, don't mind that - he was in love with Arthur. And Arthur loved him in return even in the face of death as the truth came crumbling down. Its not as simple as 'falling in love' because, I don't think Merlin woke up one day and realised that he was inconveniently in love with the idiot arrogant prince who was tied to him by fate.
Their love was inevitable but it definitely stopped becoming destiny and duty a long time ago, it became a choice. "I'm happy to be your servant till the day I die". Merlin was, and I quote "putting up" with Arthur not because it was his life sentence to do so; it was because he wanted to. The worst thing of all is: Merlin chose to do it for the rest of his life.
#didn't mean to ramble like that my bad#i was thinking#i will not do it again#merthur brainrot is real#warn ur friends#walk with me#today i will wear my white button down#merthur#bbcmerlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#bbc merthur
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Best QL of 2023: Favorite Lines
Okay so I am slightly over my one year mark in the BL Fandom, and have watched over the past like...12-14 months a little under 100 shows, so I am forcing myself to stick to the shows that aired in 2023 or else I would never be able to finish this. But I saw @abstractelysium do this so I had to climb aboard:
Top Five Lines that Lived Rent-Free In My Brain This Year:
"Have you been well? Without me?" - Shin Ki Tae, Our Dating Sim, Ep 4
Y'ALL THIS FUCKING LINE. KNIFE. CHEST. EVERY TIME! This line sits on the same level of absolute and total emotional devastation for me as the "I just want things to be nice for him" link in Big Eden.
"Are you tired, Uncle Jim?" - Li Ming, Moonlight Chicken, Ep 8
Jim and Li Ming's relationship just makes me absolutely so fucking emotional. I love them individually, I love them together, and I love how much Jim does for his community. But no one ever asks him this. And it is so striking to me that Li Ming is finally the one to demonstrate how much he understands and appreciates everything Jim does not only for him but for the entire community when he ass him that question.
"My family is old fashioned. I kept everything in my heart and didn't want to tell anyone until I was 15. My family went to Europe with Wa's family. We saw two women kissing on the street. I saw her and wanted to talk to her. I want to know how she did it. I want to release it like them. But Wa's mother and I...You can probably imagine. A pair of old-fashioned women who think same-sex love is wrong...That's when I realized I wasn't the only one feeling terrible. When we got back that night she broke down and cried. No one knew why. I asked her if it was about the afternoon incident. She asked me if a kiss between two women was wrong. I said no. It's just like two men kissing. It's not wrong. On that night a 15 year old boy and a 13 year old girl held each other and cried." -Sailom, Wedding Plan, Ep. 6
Okay this isn't a line, it's a monologue but holy fucking shit this was such a beautiful speech, and I will quote @bengiyo here and say "I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE HATED THIS MAN." He has spent so much of his life in the closet protecting not only himself but especially Yiwa. Sailom was going to go through with the wedding just to ensure that Yiwa and Marine could be together without anyone prying.
"This is as tender as I can be. Someone like me." -Mhok, Last Twilight, Ep. 4
Honestly you could replace the first sentence with whatever you want, the part that sticks in my brain the most is "someone like me" because I know that Mhok must have heard shit like that his entire life, and Day is here saying it in a way that I don't think Mhok takes as an actual insult or passing of judgement. I like that the line is used whenever Mhok does show who he truly is and how much tenderness or warmth he is actually capable of in a subversion of the expectations placed upon him.
"But you know, I already knew your preferences so well. When I go shopping with Kakei-san, he talks about you all the time...He says it with a smile" -Kayoko, What Did You Eat Yesterday?, Season 2 Episode 11
THE WEEP I WEPT WHEN KAYOKO TOLD KENJI HOW MUCH SHIRO TALKS ABOUT HIM. This entire second season of WDYEY Shiro has just continuously shown so much beautiful beautiful growth and my heart twists with pride every single time I see him looking more relaxed and smiley. WDYEY is the most perfect show to ever exist.
#our dating sim#moonlight chicken#last twilight the series#wedding plan the series#what did you eat yesterday?#best ql 2023
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Love Vs Expectations
pair: Jungkook x reader
genre : angsty as fuck
warnings: toxic relationship
word count: 1,2k
summary: You're in an unhealthy relationship with the man you've longed for, but you see it as better than having no relationship at all.
[A/N]: I’m sorry this is so angsty forgive my toxic ass
You're 28 years old; you don't have any time to waste. You need to create a life that reflects who you are, but you're not sure who that person is anymore.
You practice self-care and beauty routines to avoid regrets when you're older, but you used to go days without eating just to see if it could ease the pain in your heart. You're a hypocrite because you're addicted to a pain far more terrible than ever before. Now you've fallen deeply in love.
You managed to find someone even more damaged than you. However, the first time you met him, he made you believe that he had control over his emotions, that he was stable, confident in himself and in life in general. And you, who were afraid of everything, threw yourself into his arms to find comfort from all your woes.
He didn’t like it when you acted childish, but you met him at 19, so you were a child. Thus, you became more reasonable and mature in an effort to please him, and you lost your zest for life.
He doesn't make it clear that he'll never offer marriage or a baby, but after 8 years, you've come to the realization that he'll never make a move. You convince yourself that you don't care because he's the one you want forever. But deep down, you're full of doubts because why were you so eager to offer him exclusivity when he can’t commit fully to you?
You thought you were smarter than that; you didn’t think you would fall for someone who wouldn't treat you as you deserve. However, you fell head over heels in love with him without any control, and now, no matter how much you suffer, you're stuck.
While desperately trying to rediscover who you are, you reconnected with the passions from your teenage years that you had set aside to seem more grown-up. You enrolled in classes to learn and nurture your soul, all in an attempt to find yourself once again. You yearn to travel, meet people, and truly live, as you're exhausted from merely surviving.
He's not pleased. He understands toxicity, so he pretends to support you, not stopping you but gradually losing his spark. He doesn't smile anymore, and he doesn't make an effort with your friends. He silently makes you pay for showing interest in anything other than him.
So, you feel guilty, and you propose the idea of both of you embarking on a journey, leaving everything behind—your job, friends, family, and obligations. He's inclined to say yes to keep you by his side, but even this suggestion terrifies him. He desires your exclusive company, yet the prospect of commitment and potential pain holds him back. As a result, you stood at the edge, urging him to join the leap, hoping you could be together. Yet, he sadly holds back, and you're left with a heavy heart, uncertain of your next step.
Should you jump alone?
Jungkook's voice interrupts the flow of your thoughts, "Want to watch a movie?" he asks, nonchalantly, as if you hadn't been arguing just a few minutes ago.
You shake your head to decline. You don't want to watch TV because you know that you'll eventually end up cuddling on the comfort of your couch. You'll naturally rest your head against his chest, listening to the beats of his heart that will sync with yours. You're aware that feeling him so close could make you crumble and erase all your threats. Everything you just told him, that ultimatum you gave, all of it would mean nothing if you give in now.
"Come on, baby, come into my arms. I can't stand to see you like this," Jungkook pouts, moving dangerously close to you, and you retreat until your back hits the wall. You feel trapped, like an animal blinded by the headlights of a car, blinded by the beauty of the man in front of you. His large doe-like eyes look at you with tenderness, his pink and tempting lips beg for your forgiveness. And you could, you could give in; it wouldn't be the first time. But every time you do, you lose a bit more of your self-esteem.
"I'm sorry, baby. You know I love you, I'll never love anyone like you," lies, you think to yourself. Your jaw clenches, preventing you from screaming. You only hear those three words for your birthday or when you make a scene. He's so stingy with his words and feelings. You only get his "I love you" at the cost of your tears and pain.
You've had enough; you don't want to give in. Even though all you long for is to embrace him, to feel his warmth envelop and comfort you, you understand that you'll lose all credibility. He'll never put in the effort to truly invest and build with you.
"You're a diamond, so precious to me. Let me make it up to you. I'll do better in the future, I promise," he smiles widely and continues moving towards you. He's saying everything you want to hear, proving that he could be more generous with his words all the time. He could be perfect, but he chooses to be mediocre, and it's your fault, you've let him be that way from the start. But you were so young and in love, so naive and vulnerable. You just wanted someone to make you feel whole, and he kept his promise. Now without him, it feels like you’re nothing.
"I want you so much," he whispers into your ear now; you let him come too close. Tears escape your eyes, trailing slowly down your warm cheeks. Jungkook wipes them away with his thumbs and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "You're so beautiful," he says softly. He never finds you as beautiful as when you're broken like this.
Jungkook starts kissing your neck, and you don't do anything to push him away. What's the point? You'd lose in this game. Because your body is made only for him, forever. He was the first to learn how to make you feel good. You're convinced that no one will ever be able to touch you like he does. His scent makes your head spin, and you moan as he leaves a trail of hickeys on your neck. He wants to remind you that you belong to him and only him, forever. Even if he never commits fully. Even if he sleeps with others. You are his.
As he lifts you up and carries you in his arms to your bedroom, calling you with sweet words and caressing your hair, you allow the weight of guilt to evaporate. You're doing your best; you’ll be stronger next time you promise yourself, and maybe he will decide that he only needs you just as you need him. You cling to his neck tightly; you don't want to let him go. Ever.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#bts jungkook x reader#bts jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook imagine#bts jeon jungkook x reader#bts jeon jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook oneshot#jungkook angst#jungkook drabble#my words
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a poor , innocent woman | T.S
sequel to ; baby , its cold outside
summary ; tommy shelby pays you a visit .
warnings ; cursing.
a/n; i wrote a second part anyway.
_
the wooden floor boards of the old house creek as you walk down the hallway , the clock tells you its the afternoon , rain hits the windows
you couldn't sleep yesterday ,after seeing what you assume to be the devil himself staring at you from your kitchen window so you woke up later than usual, when the living room comes into view, you see your five sisters, sitting on the sofa , backs straight as they nervously laugh
you frown, wondering why all five of them are not gossiping or bantering when you walk further you see him, again.
he's sitting on the old floral chair facing your sisters ,a cup of tea in his hands as he sips it, his lips slightly curled in amusement
as soon as your slippers hit the living room floor , his eyes snap at you, and his smirk widens, he puts his cup down on the table
all your sisters turn to look at you, as if you were the messiah
"oh ! y/n we have a guest!"
"yes , poor mr shelby was out in the rain"
"yes , we couldn't turn him away now could we?"
"no we couldn't possibly."
they all talk at the same time, nervous but relieved smiles on their faces when they see you. you stand in the doorway in your nightgown and your cardigan
"hello"
he says , with that smirk on his face as he stands
your eye twitches in anger
"you!"
you point a finger at him,
"me?"
he says with that same amused smile, brows furrowed slightly
at the sound of your furious voice and the fact that they were waiting for you so they can bolt , your sisters get up
"we must go..... check the garden yes."
"oh we must."
"we'll leave you two now"
"we'll be back soon won't we?"
"yes we will!"
they all talk as they scurry out and go outside, to stand under the foyer, you suspect.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you yell as you get closer, the angry finger still pointed at him "you...you pervert !"
"a pervert aye? how so?" his voice is deep and his tone is amused
"you stare at women in the dark in your spare time !"
"thats hardly fair. you were staring too" he chuckles , his hands dive into his pockets
"no no no, you stood outside the window" you get closer until your standing in front of him, your finger pointing at the kitchen window, where the tops of your sisters' heads were showing as they curiously peeked through the window, then your finger went digging into his chest, you were truly unaware of your actions, your eyes narrowed in anger
"i was walking, can't a man walk?" he tilts his head
"you like scaring poor innocent women half to death hmm? is that it?"
"a poor innocent woman? is that what you are? " his voice is laced with a soft laugh,
"yes! i couldn't sleep all night!" her eyes look up at him , seething
"because i looked at you?"
"you kill people don't you?"
"you think i was goin' to jump through the kitchen window and kill you?" he cant help but look at you with his brow raised, holding back a smile
"i was delirious! it was the middle of the fucking night" she says in a defensive tone,
"i apologize."
"oh really?"
"yes ,i am sorry."
"oh how sweet of you." you give him the most insincere smile you can muster
"you don't believe me?"
"no i don't."
"i am sorry, i am."
"sure you are"
"are you seeing someone?"
"i..." the angry words die in your throat, as your eyes dart between his, mouth open but almost speechless "what?" , it was the last thing you had expected him to say. you pull your finger away, your hand dropping by your side
"are you seeing someone?"
he repeats slowly
"why?" your brows furrow, your eyes narrowing
"you want to take me out on a date?" you let out a chuckle, as if it was a ridiculous thought
"why else would i ask?" he is still thoroughly amused
she doesn't speak, her mouth still slightly open as she stares back at him
the truth is, the sight of you with your eyes wide, your hair a mess while you stood in the kitchen in your nightgown and when the moon lit your face, it stuck with him, making him return , just to see you.
"you came here to have tea with my sisters so you can ask me out?"
"and to apologize of course."
"of course." her voice is sarcastic, her smile is disbelieving
"so , are you?"
"am i what?"
"seeing someone?"
"no."
"good"
he smiles slightly in satisfaction
you let out another soft chuckle, still in disbelief, that tommy shelby came to your house, walked in the rain, to ask you out
"what if i say no to the date?"
"will you say no?"
"no, but what if i did?"
"so its a yes?"
he asks , his brow raised, a smirk on his lips
she nods slightly, she didn't even know she was nodding, her body moved on its own accord.
"ill pick you up tomorrow then , at seven?"
he said as he walked past you, then only turned as he stood in the doorway of your living room
"uh huh."
"see you then."
he said as he turned, walking out of your house
and when he passed that same window, he heard that same shrieking he did that other night only happier, and he caught a glimpse of your sisters surrounding you in a circle, he just chuckles again.
#tommy shelby x reader#thomas shelby imagine#thomas shelby x reader#tommy shelby imagine#kadwrites#thomas shelby fanfiction#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction
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Let's talk about Eddy and empathy
Okay, so. Hand-me-down Ed.
Lotta people talk about this episode. Lotta them have the take that the boomerang unleashed Eddy's repressed nurturing side. This is a very valid interpretation when you consider the abuse Eddy has endured and all the reasons he has to repress any nurture-type feelings. But here is the thing that I think. Or don't think. I don't think Eddy represses a secret nurturing side. I think it got repressed by outside forces when he was young and squishy and moldable, and now there's not really a whole lot of nurturing in there left for him to repress himself. I truly believe the intent of the episode was to show the Eds being the opposite of who they truly are. And Eddy, truly, in my opinion, is an incredibly traumatized kid with some really unfortunate learned behaviors and underdeveloped empathy muscles that just aren't gonna fully recover.
There are two episodes I wanna talk about to back up my claim.
Ah, Dueling Eds. Who doesn't like Dueling Eds? I certainly consider it one of my favorite episodes. It's a surprisingly serious episode with a genuine look at how Eddy navigates the consequences of hurting someone. That long silence in the van with Double D? His continuing insistence that he didn't do anything? Continually asking throughout the whole episode what the hell is even going on? Mwah. Chef's kiss. I've seen a few different theories for what's going on with Eddy in this episode, but I've always felt that he genuinely has no idea what he did, why everyone's acting the way they are, and is incredibly fucking frustrated by how little sense the whole situation is makes. He knows it has to do with the fishball; he even brings it up himself when he's talking about the incident with Double D later. But he doesn't understand why that was wrong. He doesn't get how something so inconsequential in his own mind could be so hurtful to Rolf, and he is either incapable of, or refuses to acknowledge, that just because it wasn't a big deal to him, doesn't mean it can't be a big deal to someone else. (We call this ~theory of mind~ btw and it's a big component of empathy.)
Another favorite of mine, Little Ed Blue. I've talked about this scene before because I love it for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is the insight we get into how Eddy's emotions have probably been addressed by those around him in the past. I mean, jeez, this is Ed! He's one of Eddy's most important people! A true and dear friend he's had since he was a toddler and one of the few people in the world who outwardly likes him and gets along with him. And what does he do when Ed's having a bad day? Calls him a wuss, laughs at him, invalidates his feelings, and tells him to get over himself. This is some grade fucking A asshole behavior, even for Eddy. And yet he does it easily without a shred of guilt, convinced this is the correct way to address a friend who's in the throes of misery. I mean, just look at this face.
Has Ed ever made a face like that? His feelings got fucking hurt man. (also, as a sibling, I can say that this is categorically the most Sibling moment between Eddy and Ed in the entire show.)
IMO, someone with a repressed nurturing side wouldn't be that baffled by how Rolf is reacting or be that cruel to their own best friend. This looks more like someone who genuinely has a low amount of empathy. So what's actually going on? Do I think Eddy is just some cold, uncaring asshole? Of course not! He's a traumatized 12 year old kid who's endured intense physical abuse. Cruelty was normalized for Eddy at a very young age. Why should Rolf be so upset about a fishball? It's not like Eddy beat him or something. And what's Ed got to be so miserable about? Men shouldn't act like wusses. Men are supposed to just get over it. And how could Eddy be wrong for thinking these things? It's what he was taught, after all. He learned these behaviors from his hero, after all. This is all he knows. This is what makes sense to him. It's Rolf and Ed who are being ridiculous.
That kind of stunted growth to someone's empathy isn't something so easily fixed. This is why I don't headcanon or write a more grown up Eddy as someone who learns he doesn't have to repress his nurturing side anymore; I see him as someone who's learned that nurturing and empathy are part of the whole "having friends" deal. He's learned that nurturing and empathy are what's considered normal, learned that it's what's expected of any decent human being, man or not. He's also learned, a la BPS, that you have to be a good friend to have good friends. It doesn't come naturally to him. It's gonna take a lot of hard work and growth on his part. But even if Eddy doesn't always understand why he needs to be gentler, needs to just listen, needs to offer a shoulder to cry on, that doesn't mean he won't do it for the sake of his friends. Because even if empathy ain't his strong suit, even if being empathetic is hard fucking work, he still genuinely and wholeheartedly cares about his friends and cares about doing right by them.
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I NEED YOU AND YOU NEED ME HOW FUCKING NICE IS THAT - LOUIS TOMLINSON
it's your birthday louis william tomlinson, but you have been ours since the day you were born, 24 december 1991, you, the love of my life turn 32 today!! happy birthday sunshine!! happy birthday to the reason of my smile every day(if you see me randomly smiling it's because im thinking about you), to the sweeest little thing on the planet, to the recently turned 32 year old person who i will always call my baby tho im 17 years smoller than you, to the person who i constantly worry about, happy birthday sun if i could i would spin around you continuously and still not get tired. There are not enough words to describe you, sometimes i wonder how are you real and cry because you genuinely are a good person, literally an angel in person. I have never felt so connected to an idol other that you. The relationship between louis and louies is the best, we are "dedicated, crazy in the best possible way" about you, you are so gentle, honest and caring about us and im so happy it is a mutual feeling, and we won the best fandom award!!!!! I so happy to be there with you during your first world tour and to see you conquer this world with your you beautiful voice, always be yourself, don't change for anyone, we all love so much! smile because it literally lights up my life and nothing is more prettier than that and enjoy your life because you literally deserve every single thing in this universe, you are the sun and light up my and many other people's world, you are the reason many people are still alive (including me ig, i am going strong because of you luv!!!), "i would give up on everything but louis wouldn't let me" is the line that describes our relationship and you are a very important person to me i don't even know how i would live without you, you are the oxygen i need to survive, i hope you know how much you mean to us and how proud we are of you. I am so greatful that you exist, i thank the universe every single day that you exist and i am alive at same time as you. Thank you for everything you've done for me and everyone, my life has become so so so so much better after i found out about you and i don't know how else to sum it up cause words ain't good enough there's no way i can explain my love for you, i truly wish this year will be the best one for you yet and i can't believe how fast time is passing, i am proud of every big and little thing that you have achieved whatever makes you happy and whatever you want to do just do it! we are always here for you like you are there for us whenever we need you. I am so happy to be a part of this big beautiful family.
I am for every greatful for you and so thankful that i am able to call you my favourite man in the whole world. you will always be my #1 in my life. May all your dreams come true. and i love you for infinity, forever and always. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOU!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUPCAKE 🧁!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
always in my heart @ louistomlinson
#louis tomlinson#1d#1direction#louis 1d#louis tomilson#directioners#one direction fandom#louies#louis and louies#boobear#solo louis#happy birthday louis#one direction#one band one dream one direction#1 direction#onw direction members#solo one direction members#harry styles#liam payne#niall horan#zayn malik#zayn#niall james horan#harry edward styles#louis william tomlinson#harry 1d#solo zayn#solo liam#christmas#solo harry
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I know we haven’t seen much of cowboy Gaz but A) love the sibling rivalry vibes between him and Goose and B) me thinks he gets along realllllllllllllly good with the Mrs.’s in town. Shamelessly. Like so shamelessly price growls at him when he bats his eyes at Duck.
Idk arm candy Gaz is rattling in my brain
Gaz, Goose, and Soap have major sibling vibes
Also thank God. I have been holding off on cowboy!Gaz because I truly believe that man loves a Mrs(/Milf dont @ me on this). He is such a sweetheart and a charmer and he is such fantastic arm candy. Every Mrs in town is in love with him as soon as he bats his lashes at them, including Duck!
Duck loves Ghost because he's her future son in law but she loves Gaz because he is pretty to look at and fixes things around the house. (Un?)fortunately he isn't going to actually go after a married woman, he's a good boy.
Gaz's darling is one of Goose's high school friends. She is a teacher at the local elementary school, and I really want to give her a baby. She is an absolute doll and Gaz falls hard for her. They're sweetheart for sweetheart, it is tooth rotting. I'll post their meet cute later, here's Gaz being the bane of Goose and Price's existence.
"Hey, Goose," you hum, not looking up from your book, "how old's your mum?" You shut the book and turn to look at Gaz where he's leaned over the back of the couch.
"How old's my mum," you repeat, hoping it sounds as crazy to him as it does to you.
"Not like that," you wait, staring him down, eyes narrowing the longer he tries to wait you out, "Price would actually kill me. It's not like that."
"Sure," you turn back to your book. "Better men than you have tried Garrick," you tell him, flipping to your page, "I'd suggest teaching a pig to fly, might be easier."
Gaz gives your head a good shove, "You've got a mouth on you, you know that?"
"One of Simon's favorite parts of me," You turn to smack him with your book. He holds his arm like you've actually injured him.
"Slag."
"You can't fuck my mom Garrick," you yell after him, as he laughs his way out of the living room.
-
"You sure this is all you need Mrs. Price?" Gaz asks, tightening a loose fitting under the sink.
"That's the last thing on my list," you say, enjoying the view from the kitchen table. Your husband really brings home the nicest young men to help around the ranch. Nice to look at too. "You sure you don't mind helpin' me with all this?"
"It's the least I can do." You hum, Price is going to be mad you're indulging poor Gaz, but that's for you to reap the rewards of later.
"You're a good boy Kyle." You tell him, hearing Price's boots walk down the hall.
"Fuck's sake," Price's voice booms through the kitchen and you smile into your tea, "Sergeant what the hell are you doing?"
Gaz drops his wrench and smacks his head on the drain. You bite your lip and try not to laugh. God you love watching your husband scare subordinates.
#cowboy!Gaz#cowboy!141#from Goose and Duck's perspectives#Gaz is in trouble after this but he really is just trying to be nice#i like his darling a lot#truly the epitome of the two nicest people you know dating#i dont really wanna tag this with any ship tags so i wont#its just silly au stuff#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#kyle garrick mw2#gaz modern warfare#cod fic
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A lost embrace
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x wife!Reader
Summary: You're not sure how long you can continue living like this. How long you can pretend that everything is alright. Like you can't feel your soul rotting in your chest.
Warnings: infidelity (?), betrayal, some Darkling slander (he deserves it), a hint of gaslighting, toxic relationship, mentioned smut (it's only 4 words, I can't write smut I'm so sorry), a tiny hint of suicidal thoughts, wishing for someone's death
Word Count: 1.2k
Authors' Note: There was a different ending to this that made it a bit darker and made him more possessive (and also made him a bit more of a romantic in a fucked up way?), but I didn't think anyone would really care for that, so I left it out. Also I'm not a native English speaker and this isnt edited.
Masterlist
You love your husband. You love him more than the moon, the stars and the saints, but you do not trust him.
You can't. Not since the sun summoner appeared in the Little Palace and Aleksander pushed you away like a simple inconvenience to make space for her.
She's a young girl who doesn't know any better. Someone who sees a husband betray his wife for her and sees it as something good, a compliment from him towards her. From her perspective you're an obstacle standing between her and the man who has been so welcoming and wonderful to her. She doesn't understand that you're not her enemy, that she fell for a trap designed specifically for her.
You see through it though. You see through it all.
You can't stop seeing.
The first time you mention the game the Shadow Summoner is playing with Alina he comforts and reassures you, his voice soft and familiar like freshly washed wool. He takes you in his arms, pressing your body close to his as he lists every reason why he married you. You fall asleep with your head on his chest that night, listening to his calm and steady heartbeat while his fingers draw patterns on your back.
Just to wake up all alone the next morning, finding out through Ivan that he went out to ride horses with the sun summoner, your heart dropping to the heart of the world.
The second time you bring his behaviour up, he's harsh and clearly annoyed by the fact that you haven't forgotten, that you're not giving up on his repeated behaviour despite how sweet he can be sometimes.
"You don't trust me? After two centuries of marriage, you can't trust me? I hunted down the very amplifiers keeping you alive, and now you believe I'm trying to replace you? You're insane."
The third time he's even harsher, voice awfully calm and cold has he speaks down to you. He reminds you so much of his own mother in that moment that you have to wonder if it's just time making him bitter and cruel, or if this part of him has always been there, slumbering in his chest like a bear in hibernation.
"You're too old for this childish jealousy."
But you can be just as cruel when you want to be.
"And you're too old and too married to chase the skirt of a scared little girl in front of all of Ravka, but here we are."
He sleeps in the war room after that night, the shadows that fill the room at his silent anger crawling through the space under the door into the bedroom, but you pay them no mind.
Every night you hope the darkness he unconsciously summons in his sleep scares him to death when he wakes up and frees you from this torment. Maybe he will be so scared he accidentally kills you too.
When Alina finally runs away, horrified by the truth of who and what Aleksander truly is, you don't even bother to act like you don't think he deserves this, like you don't pray that the young sun summoner disappears from the face of the world and never returns, leaving him to live through eternity alone.
No, you just stare at your husband, expression blank like freshly fallen snow, the words resting on your tongue stinging like acid when you finally speak.
"Your true equal wouldn't have left after finding out who you are. Your equal would've stayed to help with your plans, or done their best to kill you before you find out that they know your biggest secret."
Your words are a reminder of what happened when you found out about his true identity. You had discovered one of his diaries one day, reading it while he was out, scouting the area around the Little Palace because of a few recent Drüskelle sightings, and when he returned to your quarters and saw the open notebook on his desk, he thought you had fled.
Then he heard your quiet sobs and slowly stepped over to your shared bedroom, opening the door to reveal your shaking body on the bed, wrapped tightly in a blanket and hugging a pillow to your chest.
You were whimpering and crying like a wounded animal, and when he asked what happened you stared at him for a few seconds before loudly wailing, hysterically blabbering something about leaving him all alone after your death and how lonely and scared he must've been for most of his life. It was a pathetic sight to behold. A sight that he claims proved to him that he wants to spend the rest of eternity with you, or at least as long as you will let him stay at your side.
You're starting to doubt that now, obviously.
But when he returns to the Little Palace, almost on deaths doorstep, his body covered in wounds the healers have trouble healing, he turns into the soft, familiar Aleksander again. Your husband.
He's quiet, sweet, kind, and polite. He thanks you for putting up with him, for being his wife even after everything he has done. For accepting him for who he is. For staying.
He wakes up screaming occasionally, tears running down his face while he anxiously looks around and slowly realises that he's no longer dreaming.
He begs you to let him sleep next to you in your shared bed again, his eyes wet and filled with worry as if he's scared of being alone in the darkness of the night, and you give in, wrapping your arms around him as he presses his ear against your chest, waiting for the sound of your heartbeat to lull him to sleep.
Everything is like it was before Alina for a few weeks. You're glued together at the hips, spending every hour you can at each others sides. He kisses you, finishes inside of you, holds you while you sleep and helps you wash your hair, and you kiss every single one of his scars, your soft lips carefully touching the ink black lines covering his body, paying extra attention and love to those in his face.
It's the bare minimum, but after months of not receiving any of his affections you relish in his love the way the trees enjoy the first warm and bright day of spring after a brutal winter.
But despite all of that love there's a dark corner in your heart where a piece of your withering soul waits for the other shoe to drop, and when it finally does you can feel how the rest of your heart fills with rot and decay.
That kefta – that stupid, horrible piece of wasted fabric and stitching – is the reason. The reason for the tiny bit of darkness now sitting between your ribs.
You're already laying in bed, fluffing up the pillows and getting in position to cuddle with your husband, when Aleksander steps in, the golden treads on the clothing item shimmering in the light of the candle on your bedside table.
Jaw clenching slightly, you watch as he undresses, carefully hanging the kefta up in his wardrobe as if it is his most prized possession.
You don't know if it's an accident, or perhaps a sign from the universe, but he hangs it right in front of the kefta he married you in, covering the beautiful ink black fabric and it's intricate and complicated decorative stitching almost entirely from view. There's acid rising in your throat at the sight of it and it's many implications.
When he turns back to you, now in his pajamas, he seems to finally realise that something is wrong, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks at you. "Are you alright, milaya?"
You nod stiffly, laying down and pulling the blanket up to your chin. He doesn't question your behaviour further. He probably doesn't care, to be completely honest.
The Darkling joins you a few seconds later, bending over you to blow out your candle before dropping a single, short kiss onto your forehead.
That night he sleeps with his back turned to you for the first time since he returned from his near death encounter in the fold.
You don't mind it much, unable to sleep anyways as you stare at the back of his head and remember all the times he has rejected the idea of adding some of your grisha colour to his kefta.
"But I have black on my kefta. Why would it be so bad if you wore some of my colour as well?"
"That's different. The black protects you. It shows people not to touch you. If I wear your colour people are going to accuse me of favouring your grisha order over the others. I just want you to be save. I can do that by showing that you're mine."
You never want to see the colour black again.
Part 2: There's no love like our love
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