Say Hello to me and my big friend down there 😉🍆

Expensive way to get addressed properly: become a “Dr.” of sorts so people don’t misgender with the “Mr” or “Mrs” or “Ms” or complain about “Mx”

You won’t respect my gender identity or even the potential forms filled out stating such? Fine. But a lot of people tend to respect a degree. (Which is so classist because imagine getting more respect based on your degree than who you are, oh wait, you don’t have to imagine that.)

“So Ms. Smith-“

“Hey, actually I-“

“I know you claim you’re ‘non binary’ or something but I won’t use Mx, that’s not real!”

“Oh I was actually gonna say I’m a doctor…”

“Oh, sorry, DOCTOR Smith.”

(Also there’s the issue of asking to be referred to as “doctor” if you’re viewed as male vs female (aka “you’re so pretentious”) but that’s a whole separate conversation.)

You won’t admit I’m a genderqueer? Fine. My gender is now doctor.

Trans rant

Hi im a trans/nonbinary dude, I love my gender, but sometimes its just too much. I hate having to deal with the transphobia and sometimes I just wish that I hadn't come out.

I wish everyday for T, cause I can't keep living in the wrong body. But at the same time, it would be so much easier if i was just a girl. If I didn't have to deal with all my old friends calling me the wrong name and pronouns. But I just don't feel comfortable with it and I hate it. I wish for my life to be easy, but I realized its never gonna be. Im gonna have to deal with this stuff my entire life and that's okay. Maybe it'll become less when I start passing, but even tho its hard and it really sucks sometimes.

I FUCKING love being trans, its awesome. Ive met so many amazing people because of it. And I never wanna go back, but I just wish society was more accepting and I didn't have to wait so many years for live saving health care.

thanks for reading

tired of talking about passing so much in trans spaces

im fat, goth, i have a round face and hips and a large chest

im probably never going to pass to cis people

and that's okay

i shouldn't have to shift myself to the cis gaze to be a guy

Rant about the ICD-10 and nonbinary trans identities

This one's actually just build-up to another one, but it makes me very mad, so.

What's an ICD? ICD is short for "International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems", which is an absolute mouthful. It's basically a catalog of diseases that gets maintained by the WHO and occasionally updated into new versions. The most recent one is the ICD-11 that was published in 2022. It is five times the size of the ICD-10, which was published in 1994. Quite a bit happened in those 28 years, you know?

For this post, the relevant sections are obviously the one regarding trans health. So let's look at them:

The ICD-10 defines "Transsexualism" as

"A desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by a sense of discomfort with, or inappropriateness of, one's anatomic sex, and a wish to have surgery and hormonal treatment to make one's body as congruent as possible with one's preferred sex."

It's categorized under "Mental and personality disorders". Such fun!

The ICD-11 now calls it "Gender incongruence" and defines it as such:

"Gender incongruence is characterised by a marked and persistent incongruence between an individual’s experienced gender and the assigned sex. Gender variant behaviour and preferences alone are not a basis for assigning the diagnoses in this group."

I don't know why it's british, and I don't care. There's a further distinction between prepubescent patients and those who have entered puberty and above. It's a bit longer and I promise it's the last stupid medical paragraph in this.

"Gender Incongruence of Adolescence and Adulthood is characterised by a marked and persistent incongruence between an individual’s experienced gender and the assigned sex, which often leads to a desire to ‘transition’, in order to live and be accepted as a person of the experienced gender, through hormonal treatment, surgery or other health care services to make the individual’s body align, as much as desired and to the extent possible, with the experienced gender. The diagnosis cannot be assigned prior the onset of puberty. Gender variant behaviour and preferences alone are not a basis for assigning the diagnosis."

Thats a lotta words. TLDR: "Person does not identify with assigned sex, likely wishes to transition to the experienced gender." Also important to note: Instead of a Mental Disorder, it's now categorized as a "Condition related to sexual health". Great!

Why is it not great? Because the ICD-11 is not currently in active use. The WHO expects a transitional period of 5 years or longer for countries to implement this. The US, for example, is aiming for an implementation in 2025, but it could extend to 2027 depending on required modifications. Non-english countries, like mine, also require time to translate the thing. Until implementation is complete, a majority of doctors are still trained to use the ICD-10. Health insurance companies also are not required to adopt definitions from the ICD-11 during the transitional period.

By the way, did you spot it? It's a small, but important difference: "the opposite sex" (ICD-10) vs "the experienced gender" (ICD-11). That's right, the current system only acknowledges binary trans people! Good for them, awful for me!

Now, of course there will be doctors who know better and acknowledge nonbinary identities, but under this current catalog, they do not have to. Neither does your health insurance. So if I, who is decidedly not of the binary variety, want health care and I want my insurance to cover it (just to stress again: I am not in the US), my best bet is to lie.

If I want trans healthcare, instead of getting a kind that is best suited for me and my identity, I should tell my health care providers a fabricated story about how very binary my transness is.

You realize what that is, right? It's another gender identity being assigned to me that doesn't match my own. Isn't that ironic?

But hey, only three more years until we get it implemented. Maybe.

being a fem trans guy is a state of limbo. like just cuz i like to dress feminine doesnt mean im not a fuckin dude anymore?? some people get tooooo comfortable when you dress fem and you just get misgendered by people who know what theyre supposed to call you- like this isnt the start of my detransition dude. A MAN TRYNA BE PRETTY DAMN. and when you wanna dress masc then people just. assume you're overcompensating?? like im not tryna prove anything this is just how i wanna dress

im so tired of how being trans man and still being feminine affects how people see you. not even how bigoted transphobic people act but how those that are close to you act- like im dressing different bc its fun, it doesnt mean you have to change shit up

im fully aware that no one in my life truly sees me as a dude and its fully because of how i enjoy being feminine like doing make up, wearing skirts and having pastel pink hair.

like can you just see me as the fem gay dude whos also invited to girls night bc he's everyone friend? idk

i had a few friends over and we played truth or drink, snd one of the questions was like "would you kiss someone here" and my friend (het) said "well if there was a Guy here" and i told told her "girl im a Dude" and she was like "well, yKNOW" girl was so close to saying "a real dude"

tired of gender expression being so tied to gender

Trans guy urge to get drunk come out to my whole family start T run away and make a new life where no one knows me as [redacted] where I can find finally be happy in my life and hopefully be happy in my body and it just sucks so much I just want to be happy but why am I hated so much for just existing

Or maybe I’ll just cry myself to sleep we’ll see

i wanna know what God I pissed off bc today's thanksgiving right? so already, not gonna be a great day bc family gatherings always lead to politic talk and ppl basically debating if I should be alive (they don't know i'm queer)

but then ofc today has to be a masc day (I'm afab) so I'm going to be constantly misgendered and dead named all freaking day (I'm not out)

I really want to tell my other best friend that I’m trans but I’m worried that she won’t see it as that big of a deal and therefore will tell people. and I’m sure many people think I’m trans anyway but it’s still a big deal to me because it’s such a personal realization that affects my whole identity and presentation and it’s not just like “ooh I think I’ll just be a guy bc it sounds fun” (which isn’t a problem if someone else feels that way, it’s just not how I feel)

when I think about being trans I think about my future and how I want people to see me and how I feel uncomfortable sometimes because people see me as a girl and it is so much more complicated than some (cis) people realize

Little rant about online queer experiences:

I respect anyone who doesn't like labels, who finds them uncomfortable, restrictive or limiting in any way but I hate when they assume I must feel the same way, today I asked a person who I was talking to about their gender and they said that they didn't liked labels so I'm like alright I'm a trans man btw and they answered with "you can just be yourself around me", that's myself.

Myself is a trans man

Myself is a gay man

Myself is a queer man

Labels work for me, I find comfort in them.

Your girlfriend with something extra. 🍆 you like?

Ykno maybe it’s a hot take, but like Ive noticed something a bit disheartening in a weird way?

//vent//

Like im all for headcanons, but like sometimes id see a short actor play a character thats SO “babygirl” and immediately the fandom would be like “heheheh and hes trans now”

Dont get me wrong, i LOVE trans rep anytime i can get it. And i sWEAR im guilty of this too. But like, sometimes it feels like (i guess) short ftm’s cant “pass” if you get it??? Like. Im a 5’2” short king, and sometimes i hate when ppl know im trans instead of just “oh thats a man” bc im short ig. But when i see like a character thats a cis man that HAPPENS to be short, and people IMMEDIATELY associate that with ftm, i get oddly dysphoric?

Like??? God- IDK LIKE I LOVE SEEING IT?? IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY AT FIRST GLANCE, but if i think just a tiny bit harder, i feel like shit abt it???

IS THAT JUST ME? CAN SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME

(Yes this is to mean about our 5’4” king fnaf-movie Mike Shmidt)

Disclaimer: My trans experience is MY trans experience. You are still VALID if u dont feel the same and happen to be ftm‼️‼️ okay love ya

Fuck it sucks being trans sometimes, or it sucks having grandparents that doesn’t follow the times and doesn’t try to make accommodations to make you feel good. Or at least just okay.

My grandmother has some kind of dementia and i accept that. Thats fine. It of course sucks a lot, and she is super confused. But it is what it is. But the fact that my (supportive) parents have to deadname me to her sucks. Like it hurts so much. I know its not her fault and its not that she does it on purpose. But it just hurts.

The same with my parents. I know my grandmother wouldn’t recognize me with any other name than my deadname. But the fact that they still say it, even tho they know it hurts me just sucks. I just wish she would remember me. The new me. The real me.

It just hurts when you get deadnamed, even when you can understand the reason.

Just writing this while crying about it🥹👍

Weird little headcanon that I don't know how to feel about, and I'll explain why otherwise I feel a misunderstanding will follow. So please read the whole thing. I apologize in advance if it doesn't make sense, I tried.

Arlecchino as a post-op trans woman.

Im iffy on this because, and I ask as a fellow trans person who wants to surgically transition, does one stop being trans after surgery?

Yeah, I hear about people going through with it and are happy they feel like themselves, but that's where it stops. I don't see anyone really bring it up anymore. Maybe I'm just blind but I rarely see trans characters where they fully transitioned.

I feel like that's because people are like, "Well, if they have all the equipment of the one, why bother making them trans? Just say they're cis." Or that's just what my mind thinks the reason is.

I personally don't think a person stops being trans after going through with the full post-op process. Because, generally transmen can't make sperm regardless of if they have a dick now. And generally trans-women can't give birth to kids, despite having a vag. So I feel like there's something to be said or shown there.

>Quick note after re-reading: when I say full post op, I mean they went through the whole surgical process, no matter how many surgeries it took for them. So top and bottom or just bottom, depending. I'm also sorry if I'm excluding any intersexed folks because there is so much body diversity that it's hard to include everyone in what I'm trying to say. I'm also out of the loop of the more inclusive terminology that I just see people throw around, and I don't know what it means half the time, even with the help of Google. My brain just isn't processing that info.

as a trans man going through old photos of me is weird because its like looking at whole different person even though I have undergone absolutely no treatment or surgeries and don't even have a haircut, like I look at myself back then and its like no that wasn't me but then I also miss how happy I was back then before remembering how sad I was behind the scenes since I didn't know what was wrong with me and I also never had the freedom to wear almost any masculine clothes until I was 11 and even then it was limited its also weird seeing how much I changed from when I was 10 to when I was 11 like when I was 10 i was happy but you could tell I wasn't comfortable in my own skin since I hadn't figured out what was going on and when I was 11 sure that year I had a lot going on when I was at home and had no escape when I was at school but you could tell I was starting to feel more comfortable with what I was wearing and that was also when I had my so called male persona that my friends made up of which I would always 'turn into' and idek but its so weird looking back at when I finally started to know that didn't really wanna be a girl like sure I didn't know I was actually trans until like 2 years ago when I was 14 but I at least had some idea what was wrong and I started to base myself around that a lot more and you could tell I was happy about it since it seemed like I was finally starting to be myself.

People will think that just because they figured out the unfortunate circumstances trans men and trans women have been born under, that now they get some type of right to judge them and treat them so differently. If they hadn't known, they'd see trans men and trans women as regular. They didn't 'fool' any cis people. They aren't catfishes.

Any cis man would feel the same as trans men if they themselves had a female body. Any cis woman would feel the same as trans women if they themselves had a male body. Which is- dysphoric. When your body does not match with who you really are, you get dysphoric, and desire to do what it takes to alleviate that dysphoria through transition.

Cis people wouldn't enjoy being viewed as the oppisite gender and treated as such, because they aren't. They'd feel a disconnect. The most they'd feel in the body of the opposite sex is sexual gratification and perversion. But they wouldn't appreciate having the body and characteristics of the opposite gender. They can't connect with a body that defies their manhood or womanhood.

So imagine how much worse it is, being born with a female or male body and being suppressed to identify accordingly with womanhood, and to deny yourself and think, 'maybe I'm just insecure' and suppress your true feelings, all to not raise havoc and stir negativity. All to keep yourself safe. And now that their assigned sex at birth is revealed, cis people will make it a characteristic of a trans man or trans woman, and they'll view them as trans and not simply as women or men suddenly.

Trans women are women born under the circumstances of a male body. Trans men are men born under the circumstances of a female body.

But that doesn't take away their manhood or womanhood, because just like every man born with a male body and every woman born with a female body, they'd feel upset too, being born with the opposite body and being forced to be a girl or boy accordingly to their sex at birth and forced to appreciate a certain body. Trans men and trans women are the same as cis peole. The only difference is the body they were born with and therefore how they were raised and how it effects them.