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inherdaze · 25 days

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dark red — megumi fushiguro

megumi x f!reader

18+ content, apocalypse au, slow burn, strangers to lovers

12k

summary: megumi finds himself growing closer to you as you both fight to survive in an infected world.

October 30th.

You eye your floppy, double-paged calendar lovingly as you uncap a marker, drawing a big ‘X’ across the date.

Your eyes scan over the top page of it. It has some corny close-up stock photo of a bird with the month October printed in big, cursive lettering. It’s the type of calendar that your grandmother would keep in her office, very neutral with nature images. And for some reason, it’s like your comfort object. It made you happy, reminded you of simpler things and simpler times. It reminded you of life before- before the infectious bite.

The bite is deadly.

Or, beyond deadly, since it doesn’t quite kill you.

Your brain only rots away and hunger pools at the pit of your stomach, the only thing to sedate it being human flesh. Ah, yes, the infamous zombie bite.

You and countless others had seen it plenty of times- in movies, in shows, in video games. Even funny little quizzes would pop up on your timeline, Who Would You Be In A Zombie Apocalypse?

Never would you have dreamed of it all coming true.

When you think about it, it happened so simply, so quickly, that the sequence of events could be plastered onto an elementary foldable. You think that’s what’s probably going to happen, in the future, when humanity re-establishes itself. When.

Not an if, but a when.

You were one of the few that strongly believed that humans could overcome such devastation and rebuild. Perhaps you could help in creating a better world.

It happened as such: A disease was created. Created. This fact alone angered the population enough to start riots, protests, petitions. It was the beginning of the end. A disease that was supposedly heavily concealed and secured was created by the government, until all the scientists working on restricting the disease escaped the laboratory, no longer themselves. They’d changed, transformed, and it had only spread like a wildfire from there.

With people constantly out on the streets to protest and express their disbelief and opposition to diseases being formulated in the first place, it was not that difficult for it to spread. And spread it did.

Humankind really took a hit. There was no organization, no plan, no stability to overcome the outbreak. The government was too busy trying to better their image and hide their mistakes that no one even considered a plan of action to tackle the sickness and the spread. It was literal hell. Infrastructure was being torn down, people were turning against each other, either locking themselves away from everyone else or going out into the world to try to play hero.

You had a sliver of luck on your side.

Now, you didn’t make it without pain and hardships, no, the world would simply be going too easy on you. But when you and your college friends decided to scram, to flee in prevention of being cornered, it played out rather nicely. Others had traveled back home, or hid themselves in their dorms, too scared to go out and face the world. Their poor choices usually resulted in them being practically overtaken with zombies, with nowhere else to run.

You decided to keep it simple. To keep moving.

Your plan was to move upwards, towards the North. When the disease had initially broken out and there was still debate on whether it was a legitimate issue or not, nobody had really taken it seriously if the government wasn’t taking it seriously. In the early stages, when everyone was wishy-washy and laughing about it on their timelines, an organization in the North was formed and said to have set up a base- just in case.

It worked out in your favor. Just a little bit.

You had left with your roommate, Nobara, and her girlfriend Maki. The three of you participated in all the chaos, too- what else could you have done? Law was no longer applicable. The three of you sought out to steal, to take, to do what you needed. You remember it all, the beginning of summer.

You focus back on your calendar. It’s late October now.

You were also completely alone now. Nobara and Maki had given up their lives when the three of you scrambled around a sporting goods store for weapons and had been targeted by a herd of zombies. Maki was the strongest, so she took it upon herself to fend them off until it became slightly overbearing. Nobara had jumped in to help, the both of them hollering at you to hurry and find a weapon and run. One last look into their eyes was all it took, for they knew the both of them wouldn’t be able to make it out alive.

You traveled alone, carrying a huge backpack with a bright red wagon trailing behind you at all times. All food, cooking ware, and clothing were stored in the wagon, protected by a tarp and a heap load of bungee cords. The backpack held all the little snacks, medicine, and bottles of hot water. It was never hot by choice. It just never cooled fully after you boiled it to fend away the bacteria.

In the very back pocket, where a laptop would typically be, was your crumpled calendar.

Every evening was the same- you had a three-step routine to provide yourself a feeling of stability in the midst of chaos; 1) Hide yourself amongst the trees, 2) Cross off the day in your calendar, 3) Go straight to sleep. It was a routine that had a sense of simplicity and discipline that you so desperately needed. You could not let yourself forget to mark off the days (you’d probably lose your mind from the lack of track of time) and you absolutely could not let yourself stay awake longer than needed. Sometimes, you would explore an unwelcome corner in your mind. A corner that whispered that maybe you’d be better off just dying, at this rate. No more struggles, no more worries, just sleep. Luckily, the sounds of nature and the idea of a better future always pulled you out of that spiral.

You tuck your marker into your pocket and bring the floppy thing close to yourself before a feeling of embarrassment comes over you, as if someone is watching you from afar.

With heated cheeks, you scurry to sloppily stuff it back into the back pocket of your pack before curling up against it, pulling your parka tighter against yourself to go to sleep.

When you woke up, everything was the same. The world was still falling apart, and you were still alone.

You hauled yourself up and pat at your cheeks- they stung from the oncoming cold. You knew that winter would be difficult to handle- you figured it would probably be much worse than the summer. You’d just have to face it alone, with limited shelter and supplies.

You pulled on your backpack, tugged at the handle of your wagon, and went on your way.

You weren’t alone for long.

You walked at the edges of the forest, smart enough to not make yourself a target in the middle of the road, but you still needed it to guide you. You were well hidden among the trees, but were close enough to peek out between branches and leaves to make out the pattern of the street.

A loud snap had jolted you awake from your light daydreaming. You immediately stopped walking and slowly reached down to the wagon, trying to pull the tarp away as quietly as possible.

Your eyes flitted among the scenery, mind on alert as you reached for the only impactful weapon you had- a bat.

You managed to successfully grab it, and you held it out defensively, waiting for something to come rushing at you. A few minutes pass and nothing happens.

Knuckles turning white from your grip on the handle, you stepped forward slowly, trying to find the source of the sound. It was a stupid move, you knew, but you also could not keep moving with the knowledge that there was possibly a zombie in the same woods as you. It would probably eat you alive- the idea and the zombie.

You try not to trek too far from your wagon, and you promise to yourself that after a couple more steps, you’ll turn back around and you’ll act like this never happened to save yourself from panic later.

Your little plan is interrupted when your eyes make out a figure not too far from yourself. It’s tall, and unnervingly still, with its back facing you. You can’t decipher whether or not it’s a human.

You squint and make out the movement of clean, steady hands. You see, in one hand, a little radio, crackling and emitting fuzzy noises. The other hand is occupied by something that you cannot make out. It’s at that moment that you know you’re safe- at least you hope so.

The sight of another human excites you so much, you cannot help the sudden adrenaline that surrounds your heart and the smile that reaches your face as you cheerily (and semi-softly) call out, “Hey!”

The person whirls around and suddenly your heart drops, the adrenaline mushing into dread, your smile faltering. He faces you with a gun, held up high, level with his eyes in order to aim properly.

He gives you a once-over before interrogating you. “What do you want?”

“Oh,” You sputter, limbs feeling heavy with fear. “N-Nothing,” You try, “Just…. just bumped into you here.”

“Okay,” He starts hesitantly, dark blue eyes showing you distrust. “Run off, then.”

Your heart drops even harder, this time. To think that he doesn’t want anything to do with you, that he doesn’t even want to talk, to meet another human. You assume he’s alone, too, since he’s got a backpack that looks much heavier than your own right on his back, straps tight.

It’s not that you necessarily expect anything from him- it’s just that this is a rare moment. You haven’t spoken to another person in months.

The crackling of the radio fills in the quiet between the two of you before he pulls you from your thoughts, “We can part ways, now.”

His voice is only slightly condescending, and he talks as if it’s an obvious fact.

“Wait,” You lazily blurt, hand reaching out just a little as if he had offered something for you to hold onto. “Don’t you want to be friends?”

He scoffs at you, embarrassing you. “Friends?”

“W-well, not friends,” You struggle, ears and neck heating up, “Just, yunno, partners or- yunno?”

“No.”

His blatant answer makes you wince. As much as he makes you feel small, a sliver of desperation shines through your timid form and you try again. “You know what I mean,” You breath out exasperatedly, “There’s nearly no one else left in the world. Might as well work together. We can take turns patrolling and sleeping, and especially when it comes to gathering supplies- like the buddy system, kinda- and things will run smoother. We can put what we have together.”

He knew you were right. He hated that he knew you were right.

Truthfully, Megumi had no intentions to create bonds and team up with people. He thought it would only slow him down, both physically and mentally- he went out of his way to avoid attachment.

He responds with silence, so you give it another shot.

“I’m moving North, too… if that’s… if that’s what you plan to do as well.”

It catches him, and you knew you had won him over. And he knew, that you knew, that you had convinced him enough. The way that he had faltered and his stern expression melted into one of surprise told you all that you needed to know.

You gave him a little smile to soften the blow of his loss.

“Fine,” He says through gritted teeth, letting his arm fall to his side in defeat. He sees you keep your eyes trained on the gun, so he tucks it away in an attempt to ease your nerves.

You tell him about your supply wagon and let him know he can probably lighten the load on his back by mixing his supplies with yours. While you lead him back down the path where you had abandoned your precious wagon, you try to get him to converse with you. His silent nature made you a little nervous, but you were deeply in need of human connection.

“Oh! By the way, my name-”

“No.”

You cough and look up at him, shock written across your features. “Huh?”

“We shouldn’t do that. Exchange names, I mean. It’s just the two of us, we’ll be fine without it.”

“Huh?” You call out again, this time louder and with more confusion. He shoots you a glare that tells you to shut up.

“But- why not? What am I supposed to call you?”

“I already said, it’s just the two of us. Who else could you be addressing? Exchanging names makes us friends. We are, by no means, friends.”

You watch him speak with an unbothered tone, eyes not even meeting yours as he empties half of his supplies into the wagon. Your mouth is slightly agape and you falter to respond, but as he swings his backpack around, a flash of black and white catches your attention.

“Are those…” You trail off before he finally makes eye contact with you.

“Are those plushies?”

You see him freeze, and his pale skin blossoms with color. “No.”

“Oh, come on,” You huff out playfully, almost circling him to get a better look at the little fluffy keychains that hang clustered together at the zipper of his backpack. Two tiny but puffy little dogs of opposite colors stare right back at you, felt tongues poking out and all.

“Huh. Didn’t peg you as a dog boy. Or an anyone boy, for that matter.”

“Are you done? We need to keep moving.”

“Alright, alright,” You huff, reaching for the handle of the wagon. He takes hold of it before you get the chance and starts walking, and you feel your heart smile at his silent offer to pull it for you. You didn’t think there was a deeper meaning to it, you were just happy that you didn't have to haul that heavy thing around for once. “No need to be snappy, Dog Boy.”

He only groans in response.

The rest of the day flies by in silence. You try your luck a few times to start a conversation, to pull anything out of him, but he’s so damn stubborn, either keeping his eyes focused on the path ahead or fiddling with his radio. The radio gives him an excuse to tell you to shut up, since he needs to hear if there are any broadcasts or incoming news- signs of life.

He finally speaks up when he claims it’s time to sleep.

The two of you settle against a cluster of tree trunks, and you repeat the same thing you’ve been doing for months on end- laying against your backpack, looking at your calendar with a glint of hope and desperation in your eyes.

Megumi watches as you pull and flatten it out before rummaging around for your marker. He narrows his eyes and tries to focus on the clunky piece of paper you seem to be carrying around.

He makes out the rows and columns of dates, an unimpressed look dawning on his face. “Don’t tell me…”

“Hm?” You hum lightly, beckoning him to continue.

“Don’t tell me you carry that thing around and actually use it.”

“What else can I say? We’ll need it, in the future. Once everything starts going back to normal, people are gonna be like, ‘Oh no! What day is it? What season are we going into? Must we start a new calendar?’ And then, I’ll have my trusty calendar right here, with all the dates crossed off. Think about it. Very important.”

He remains quiet as you make big ‘X’ on the final date, October 31st.

“Hm. We met on Halloween. Funny, isn’t it? I think it suits you a little.”

He disregards your last comment and speaks with a monotone voice, “Don’t get ahead of yourself. Humanity will never recover- that thing’s useless. Just taking up space.”

You fall quiet after that. Normally, you think, you wouldn’t be too iffed by some pessimism. But his comment regarding your calendar and how easily he dismissed your hopes had hurt, just a little.

Maybe more than a little.

You instinctively held the thing a little closer to you, as if to protect it. You avoid his eyes and silently decide that the conversation should probably end there.

He sees you shift a little farther away from him, bringing the stupid thing closer to your chest. He can’t find it in himself to care.

You admire that cheesy stock photo on the top of the calendar before flipping the bottom page to sneak at a glance for the photo for November. It’s a scene of a pathway formed by trees, nearly dead trees, with the leaves caught mid-fall, yellows and oranges everywhere. November is, again, printed in large cursive at the top of the page.

You fold it back up and jam it into your backpack before pulling it down closer to your head, to use it as a pillow. You wrap yourself up in your parka and turn to sleep on your side, back facing Megumi. He sees it all from the corner of his eye and scoffs to himself, remarking how childish you are.

Steady hands lay his gun next to him, close to his head- just in case he ever needs it throughout the night. He sleeps firm on his back, but he turns his head to look at you just before he dozes off.

Bathing becomes much easier, now that Megumi’s around.

Before the two of you crossed paths, you would rid yourself of your clothes shakily, always leaving them on the rocks that kissed the lake. You couldn’t even clean yourself off properly, eyes always on the lookout for movement or an undead form to creep up on you.

You had begged him. Shamelessly. The whole morning consisted of you yapping away, Please, Dog Boy, there’s a perfectly good lake right there, and a rock for you to sit on while you wait and patrol. I’ll patrol after. I really, really need this bath.

He wouldn’t even look at you as he gave you a hard No.

Megumi was beyond dead set on moving forward. Over the last few days, he was always quick to shut you down and occasionally scold you for being so easily distracted and perhaps a little too light-hearted for your own good.

But this was your last straw.

He only caved in when you threatened to wipe some of your sweat off on him. You had never seen him recoil from something so fast.

After making him literally swear to not turn around and peek while you were bathing- to which he had rolled his eyes and told you he wouldn’t even dare to consider such a thing- you pointed to the rock for him to sit on before you began to strip. Megumi could only hear the light splashes of you walking into the water and your little cries of Oh my god, it’s so fucking cold.

You gladly took advantage of such a moment. Finally, you had got to scrub every corner of your skin, finally got to really wash at your scalp, all without looking around in fear of what’s out there.

And maybe you were taking a little too long, because after a while, Megumi coughed out to remind you that he was still there. His back was starting to hurt from sitting on the rock for so long without proper support.

“How much longer are you going to take?”

“Not too much longer,” You sing-songed, clumsily trying to dip your head in the water to wash out your hair.

He rolled his eyes to himself at the tone of your voice. You were much too playful for his liking.

“Don’t worry, Doggy,” You teased, though your voice was slightly muffled from your awkward position in the water. “You can bathe after this. Although, you might smell worse after- like wet dog.”

He could hear you laughing to yourself like a child.

Megumi never responded to your little lighthearted jabs.

Life goes on as it always has. With Megumi so quiet, sometimes you ponder if you had been better off just walking away from him that day. And, if he wasn’t quiet, he was always on your back about something.

(“Why’s this water so warm?”

“I boiled it. It’s from the lake. We can’t get sick, you know.”

“You poured hot water into an insulated water bottle?”

“My God, just- just drink the damn water, Doggy. Or don’t, not like I care. More for me.”

“Shut up. I’ll drink it.”)

The two of you were nearly on opposite ends of the spectrum, personality wise. You two would’ve probably clashed if you hadn’t taken things in such a jovial manner. He even started calling you Sunshine mockingly, as if to belittle you for being so stupidly bright and optimistic when the world was reaching its end.

The first time he called you that, you had actually smiled. He had to refrain from reprimanding you for being so… so...happy-go-lucky.

He couldn’t pinpoint as to why your preppy nature had irritated him so much, but his epiphany reached him one night when the two of you settled against a group of tree trunks, like you always did.

You were, as always, cuddled up with your little calendar. Megumi discreetly watched as you marked off the day, taking note of how you had to redraw the ‘X’ a few times. Your marker was drying out.

You were well into November, and you scanned over the rows of dates, spotting the box marked Thanksgiving. With your tongue slightly poking out, you poorly drew a little turkey inside the box.

He watched as you scanned over the top and bottom page again, but he felt like your mind was elsewhere.

“When’s your birthday?”

Your question caught him off guard, and he flustered as he quickly looked away, fearing that you had seen him watching.

“What?”

“Your birthday. When’s your birthday?”

He cast you an awkward sort of look. “December 22nd.”

“Cool,” You replied almost automatically before flipping the page of your calendar. Megumi’s eyes only slightly widened as he witnessed you try to cram the words Dog Boy Birthday in the little box marked with 22. He was unsure if he was meant to see that. He didn’t want to embarrass you by mentioning it, but he felt like it shouldn’t go unmentioned, either.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Why not?” You were being genuine.

“Because,” He said without knowing what it was he wanted to say. “Because. It’s pointless.”

“Pointless this, pointless that.”

Your comeback wasn’t all that great, but you had brushed off his statement so easily- you had seemed to have grown accustomed to his little remarks, especially the ones with negative tones behind it.

That’s when his revelation crashed over him. It hit him so strongly, and he was frozen in place as you mumbled a goodnight before cuddling up to your clunky backpack.

You were so precious. Because despite all your banter, you were always playful about it, and when you weren’t being playful, you were being genuine. You always openly offered him things, the fair share of your supplies, always told him to get some sleep while you keep watch, always told him to eat up, have the last of your water bottles, always looked out for him in little ways that he did not bother to return. And, what irritated him so much about it was that you were so vulnerable, open, shamelessly smiling and laughing alone or at him, trying to get him to laugh too. And he hated how you had done all this, offered so much to him, remained open to him, only for him to constantly chastise you and feed you despairing comments.

He wanted you to put up more of a fight. He wanted you to be able to be okay, without him. Megumi criticized himself after having that thought. He knew that your nature didn’t equate to weakness, but he couldn’t help but let his mind wander off a little….

You were so easy to trust him. At any moment could you have given up something to him and he could’ve just ran off with it, leaving you empty handed and destined to literally die. He thought that if something were to ever happen to him, and you kept going on with your open, kittenish self, that someone would come along and take everything you ever knew and had.

Thinking of it made his chest pinch. He felt guilty for criticizing your calendar, the symbolization of all your hopes, on the day that you met. If he hadn’t realized this all now, he may have become the one to take all that you knew and had, figuratively. The way that he had belittled your dreams for the future had already spoken for itself.

He laid down to finally sleep after swallowing down his thoughts, and he turned to look at your sleeping form, wantonly. He wanted to be better to you.

Suddenly, he thinks about how weird he looks, watching you sleep. His ears flush red and he turns to sleep on his side, back facing you, as if he needs to cover his tracks from the peering trees.

You’re woken up by a string of broken, awkward groans.

You assume it’s Megumi. Your eyes are crusted with sleep, so you don’t even bother to flash him a teasing look as you lightly jab, “Hush, Doggy.”

He doesn’t respond with his usual sneer or command to shut the hell up, but with an even louder, pained groan.

You sigh to yourself. He’s probably having a nightmare. You feel generous enough to break him from his terrors and lazily sit up, roughly rubbing away at your eyes and reaching over to him.

Your hands meet a still, soft and sleeping form, completely at peace.

You do a double-take when the feeling of his form contradicts the pained sounds he’s making and suddenly, you’re up and wide awake, especially when you come to realize that the groans are not coming from him.

Whirling around to find the source, you come to see a beat-down zombie, tumbling its way towards you both. It’s missing a leg and its steps are off-kilter, slow, and if you had it in you to laugh at it, you’d probably laugh.

“Holy shit,” You whisper to yourself, body stilling out of fear. For a few seconds, you can’t bring yourself to do anything, and the creature crawls closer, despite it being so slow.

You finally come to your senses and weakly shake Megumi to wake him up.

He’s knocked out cold. You figure that it’s from exhaustion- the both of you had been taking a beating from your recent drop in supplies. The last thing the two of you ate was a granola bar for yesterday’s breakfast. It wasn’t even a whole granola bar- Megumi split it in half for the both of you. You had let him have the last drop of hot water, too. The both of you were running on empty.

You trip over yourself and hastily pull on your backpack, still focusing on getting Megumi to awake.

“Dog Boy,” You whisper-yell, lightly kicking at his leg. It’s ridiculous, you think. All of this is ridiculous. You have only a sliver of time to spare, thanks to the zombie moving at the speed of molasses, so you settle yourself behind Megumi and wrap your arm across his torso, beneath his own arms, your grip on him loose as you drag his body further away. Your main priority now is getting away, creating distance between you and the undead figure. As you tug on him, his gun slips out into the sunlight and you gasp, using your other hand to grab at it shakily.

You had no idea how to use it.

You hold it up to the sun and try to look for the little safety knob that you often heard that guns have. You spotted it, but you couldn’t tell if it was on or not.

You’re sloppily scooting back, heaving Megumi with you, nearly falling backwards from the weight of your backpack. If you’re being honest, the two of you hadn’t even gotten that far. With Megumi attached to his backpack, he was heavy, and with your newfound weakness from exhaustion, the two of you probably only moved five inches max.

The creature looms closer, and on second thought, maybe using the gun isn’t that smart of an idea. It would be noisy, easily giving away your location and the two of you would instantly become magnets, become bait. You wouldn’t be able to drag Megumi away fast enough to save yourselves.

You eye around for your bat but it’s much too far. It’s tucked away under the tarp on your wagon and the zombie is already too close, surpassing the wagon- there’s no way you could get it without actually surviving.

Tears prick at your eyes. No, you think, now’s not the time. Your hands are shaking- you’ve never been this close to a zombie before- and you’re thinking fuck it, your arm letting Megumi go to steady your grip on the gun.

Megumi drops down on the ground with a thud as you release him, but you don’t have the time to fret over it and ask if he’s okay. You think your ears are playing tricks on you when you hear a groan that’s a little too close.

You wrap your hands around the base and stupidly close your eyes as your finger lands on the trigger.

Everything after happens too fast for you to register, almost like a dream. You feel cold hands wrap around your own and tear the weapon away from you, and then a few loud bangs go off, and then it’s quiet.

“Christ,” He mutters, voice caked from sleep. His eyes are droopy, and he looks so jaded, you’re preparing for him to chew you out about how stupid you were being before offering a list of what you could’ve done better.

But he only slumps from fatigue, closer to you, nearly into you. He’s the weakest you’ve ever seen him, but guilt nips at the edges of his heart for making you go through such a thing.

“Are you okay?” He finally breathes out, lifting his head to meet your eyes.

You’re taken back at the sudden display of concern.

He sees your face flash with unfamiliarity as a response to his question. The guilt makes its way past the edges and into the depths of his heart, now. He hopes it’s not too late. He hopes that he hasn't already become that person for you, the one that takes everything you know.

“Yeah,” You say quietly from the shock of it all.

Megumi falls silent after that, tired.

A few beats pass and he speaks, “We need to keep moving,” He says weakly, convincing himself more than you.

“Yeah.”

Lethargy is a plague between the both of you.

Megumi tells you that you both need to find a store, and fast. He pulls out a map from one of his backpack pockets, and it’s so torn and dampened with water and other questionable substances that you can barely even make out the lines.

But he reads it like a pro. He misses the look of admiration in your eyes when he finally concludes that it would be smarter to move in closer towards the suburban area. He says there’s a higher chance of strip malls and markets to sneak around and take from. You trust his word.

The trek there is nearly torturous.

It’s getting colder, and you try not to think about how the two of you will survive when winter hits. Your feet ache and ache, and you’re sure that you’re slowing Megumi down- you swear you see him slow down his steps just the slightest. You have to refrain from complaining like a small child, asking over and over Are we there yet?

You finally reach a parking lot, and you think you could nearly drop down to your knees and kiss the gravel.

Your sense of euphoria is interrupted as a horrible stench reaches your nose. It’s unmistakable; it makes you double over and slap a hand over your nose and mouth, coughing roughly as you feel a series of gags coming on.

Dead bodies were sporadically laying across the parking lot, some human, some zombie. Megumi looks at you pitifully, then looks away as you live through your coughing fit, not wanting you to feel worse about being seen in such a state.

“‘So bad,” You finally manage to wheeze out, cueing him to look at you.

He reaches into the wagon, towards the end of it, where the clothing was stored all lumpy. He had to slowly pull out whatever it was he was looking for so that nothing else spilled out, and he tugged one end of it slowly, revealing it to you.

A big, lumpy scarf that has the most terrible pink camouflage print all across it. It’s horrendous, really. You remember you had stuffed it into your wagon a few months back, thinking about how you’d probably need it later.

Now was later.

He steps closer to you, close enough that it’s distracting and you nearly freak out at the proximity. He sees your confusion spark across your face and he hushes you before you even start. “To help with the smell.”

That’s all he says as he reaches behind you, gently wrapping the scarf across your head, leaving you enough room to breathe but making it secure enough so that the scent is muffled.

“‘M so tired, Doggy.” Your voice was stifled by the heavy fabric.

“I know,” He says, and he does.

You then feel bad for voicing your little complaint. Megumi was just as tired as you were, perhaps even more, and he hadn’t complained once, nor did he scold you for being a crybaby like you thought he would.

Once he saw that you were satisfied with the scarf and concluded that you wouldn’t bend over and gag again, he smoothed his hand over his jacket awkwardly. “I’m gonna go inside and find more stuff. Are you okay with me taking your wagon and your pack?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Megumi has to lean in closer to hear your voice. “I understand if you don’t want to trust me with all your things.” “Our things,” you enunciate.

“It’s-” He starts, then pauses abruptly. He doesn’t want to keep creating a divide between the two of you. “Yeah. Ours,” He affirms, searching your eyes for a reaction. He can tell you’re smiling stupidly (cutely) behind the scarf.

“You’re sure?”

“More than anything.”

He thinks, for a second, that your answer means something more. But you play it off, immediately taking off your backpack, so he chastises his previous thought as he takes your nearly empty pack into his hands. “Are you gonna stay out here?”

“Mhm. I’ll try ‘n find a place to sit.”

“Okay. I won’t take long, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

He turns on his heel and walks in a straight line towards the entrance of the store, where you can make out the broken and crooked sliding doors that had probably been jammed so many times before they gave in.

You take note of how many vehicles have been haphazardly left behind in the parking lot, mostly likely during moments of panic.

If only...

You begin to search the parking lot, bending down to get a clearer sight of all the miscellaneous objects scattered across the ground. Something glints in the corner of your eye, and you perk up, rushing towards it before scooping it up in your hand.

It’s a clunky, round keychain that says Dog Dads Are The, and right below the text is an image of a dog taking a dump.

“Huh,” You huff out with a little smile, “Perfect.”

You take hold of the set of keys that are strung along the ring and single one out- vehicle keys. They’re the type of keys that you have to manually insert into the lock in order to actually open the car door.

As soon as you stand up straight, you search for the oldest looking car throughout the entire parking lot. Your eyes fall upon a truck that looks like it’s been to hell and back, little scratches and scuff marks lining the sides with splotches of blood on the doors. You note that it only has two doors- the two of you will really have to squeeze in.

If you ignore the poetic spots of blood, it's one solid color- a color that resembles dirt, you think. It looks like a little old farm truck, with crates stacked in the bed, and there’s a little figure of a cow swinging from the rear view mirror.

You try your luck and insert the key, to which it fits. Your heart has never fluttered so viciously before.

Turning the key, you see the little button on the inside of the door pop up. The door swings open ungraciously, a creaky sound ringing out. It makes you freeze, looking around to see if you had alerted anything that could be lurking.

You decide to hold off until Megumi comes back. It’s completely dead quiet, and he might freak out inside the store at the sound of an engine.

Just as he promised, he didn’t take long. He steps out to see you sitting in the truck with the door open, your knees brought close to your chest, and although the both of you are incredibly grimey, spent and hanging on to your final threads, you look so peaceful curled up like that. He thinks that maybe he would’ve liked to see you like that, under better circumstances.

“Sunshine,” He starts as he gets closer, and you open your eyes and unravel from your coiled position.

Megumi shuffles towards the bed of the truck and starts unpacking the wagon into the back. “Got some food,” he offers, unloading a loaf of bread that has yet to go stale. You hold it like it’s precious, waiting for him to unpack everything into your new truck.

“Does it have gas?”

“Dunno,” You say tiredly, and hopelessness sneaks up on you again. Perhaps you had put too many eggs in one basket.

“Move over.”

You scoot to the opposite side of the seat to make room for him. He plops down in the driver's seat and you perk up to hand him the keys, “Look, look.” Untangling all the keys from each other, you proudly hold up the keychain to his face. He furrows his eyebrows at first, but then his face melts into an amused expression as he reads over the whole thing and gets the joke.

“Very funny.” He rolls his eyes, but you know he’s being lighthearted.

He takes the key and inserts it, holding his breath in hopes that it’ll work, that the heavens are on your side today.

They seemed to be, since after a few turns, the engine sputtered and coughed, and soon enough, it was settled. Megumi checks the gas level and nods approvingly to himself. He explains that it’s enough to get you a bit farther, but it’d be smart to keep an eye out for gas stations, or, better yet, other vehicles.

You unwrap your scarf from around yourself and begin to unveil the loaf of bread as well, breaking the fluffy food in half to share. The two of you eat in silence, save for the low humming of the engine. You’re too tired to talk.

Through the window, you see that it’s getting darker, and you remember your calendar. As you shuffle around to pull it out, Megumi seems to remember something as well, as he takes his bag into his lap and unzips one of the front, small pockets.

You don’t notice his hesitation as you bring out the floppy thing and lay it on the dashboard, smoothing all the wrinkles away.

He stares into his backpack pocket. He knows it’s okay to be vulnerable with you. He wants to be vulnerable with you. Embarrassment rushes up his neck and to his ears, but you don’t notice. You’re too busy shaking your old marker to force some ink to come out.

“Here,” He breaks the silence, voice cracking from the lack of use. “Here’s…. I figured you might need it, I…” Megumi shuts himself up as he sloppily tosses you a pack of permanent markers.

The way your face lights up makes it all worth it. He thinks he could face this type of embarrassing feeling every day if it makes you this happy.

“D’awwwww,” You coo, poking fun at him. You’re as jovial as always, eyes bright as you uncap one of the markers and mark the day off, marveling at how smoothly the marker glides.

He speaks up before he can stop himself. “I’m sorry.”

You pause and look back at him, the look on your face encouraging him to go on.

“I mean, I’m sorry for… what I said on the day we met. About your calendar.”

Your demeanor lightens again.

“Ah, that- don’t worry, Doggy. I don’t even think about that, barely even remember it. It’s okay. You’re good.”

He knows you’re being genuine, and that you really do forgive him. He sees it in the way you brush it off, going back to your markers and looking at them like they’re made out of gold. He feels something in his chest lighten, like the guilt from that night had been weighing him down this entire time.

Once the both of you finish your chunks of bread, and after you tuck your calendar away, you curl up on opposite sides of the seat and sleep the most comfortable you have in ages.

Everything’s a breeze now that the two of you have the truck.

It’s easier to fend off the cold, and the both of you have more energy since you don’t have to walk anywhere. The days seem to fly by faster, and with each passing day, you see Megumi opening up to you a little more. He’s not as harsh as he used to be, and even when he does mock you, it’s playful and light. There’s no more malice laced in his tone.

He’s softer now, cares more now. He accepts your invitations and attempts at making it concrete that it’s the both of you, together, as survival partners or whatever he likes to call it. Your stomach feels warm whenever he agrees or accepts your little comments about things being ‘ours’, referring to you as ‘us’ and ‘we’ rather than correcting you to ‘I’ like he used to.

It’s not enough for you, though. You can’t help but want a little more. You’re thankful that the two of you greet December, because a) you’re grateful to have even survived this long, and b) it’s much colder now, so he doesn’t question you that much when you coyly try to cozy up to him before bed, complaining about how you’re freezing and that you’ll die of frostbite.

He sees through your little act. He never mentions it, but he does. Megumi’s more than happy to let you have your fun.

Megumi’s usually the one who sneaks out into stores to refill your load of supplies, and you stay cozied in the truck. He says it’s because at any moment, if any one of you are away from the vehicle, someone just like you could easily take it. His statement is true, but he doesn’t mention his second, secret little reason- he likes to know that you’re safe and warm in there.

One day, though, you try to kiss up to him so that he’ll let you loot with him.

The morning starts off with you feeding him little compliments that are definitely out of pocket.

“Your hair looks rather nice today, Dog Boy.”

“Oh….yours, too.”

“Mhm. And that jacket you stole fits you well, I think. Really, uh, matches your vibe.”

“Yep.”

“Yeah. Your scarf looks real… real snazzy, too.”

That pulls a laugh out of him- he had been borrowing your pink camouflage scarf. He knew something was up, and you knew he did. You just wanted to get on his good side, at least for today.

“What is it that you want, Sunshine?”

“I wanna help you today, when you go fetch supplies.”

He’s driving, but you think that if he was doing anything else, he’d stop his movements. He recovers as fast as he had reacted and clears his throat. “Why?”

“I need some stuff.”

“Stuff.”

“Yeah.” You hope he doesn’t ask for elaboration.

“I’ll think about it.”

You let out a groan and let your head rest against the window, putting on a dramatic little show so that maybe he’ll cave.

He doesn’t seem to be caving in any time soon, and from afar, you can see the parking lot. You’re eyeing him nervously, unsure if you should bring it up or not, but you make the first move when you hold onto the door handle as if you’re preparing to get out once he parks.

He’s hesitant, takes his time to park and drives through the lot as if every space was taken. He could’ve taken up three spaces, if he wanted.

“Doggy. Stop stalling.” “I just think you’d be safer if you stayed here.”

“I’ll be fast. I’ll get what I need and then come right back.”

That seems to ease his nerves, so he silently agrees and parks perfectly between the two lines before shutting the truck off.

You walk together to the entrance of the store, but as soon as you make it inside, he laughs to himself when you make a beeline to the sweets aisle. He couldn’t believe that you made such a fuss to join along just to get some of those mini cakes.

You stay true to your word and gather what you need before making your way back to the truck, keeping an eye out for Megumi. You hope he doesn’t see the small chocolate muffin that you’ve stuffed close to your chest in a weak attempt to hide it. He’d probably make fun of you.

When everything’s done and he meets you back at the truck, he’s slightly surprised to see that you hadn’t eaten your little sweet during ‘dinner’. He doesn’t have the energy to confront you about it.

Today’s the day, you think.

It’s difficult and very painful to conceal your excitement for all the hours that you spend at Megumi’s side. You try to calm your nerves by making lots of conversation with him, now that he’s more responsive. At first, you were the one to talk about your family, your old friends, how you grew up. Lately, though, in his mission to be more vulnerable and open with you, he reciprocates and tells you about his past, here and there.

Night falls. He’s closing up one of his stories about one of his old teachers that usually made you laugh till you cried. It makes you laugh this time too, except your heart is racing and you can feel your palms getting a little sweaty.

The both of you go quiet as you eat lightly, taking only a few bites before calling it a night.

“I have a surprise for you,” You suddenly say, and his face is plastered with confusion. “I need you to close your eyes.”

He’s so obviously taken aback that you snort at him. “Just for a second, it won’t take long. Please.”

He complies and places his hands over his eyes to reassure you that they’re for sure closed and that he can’t see anything. Megumi hears you rummaging around in your bag that you kept at your feet, hears you tear something open, and then you fall quiet.

You kind of want to throw up. You don’t know why this feels so difficult, why it’s making you so nervous. In the past, when Megumi was mean to you, you think that this might’ve been easier, because you’d be able to tell what reaction he would give.

You can’t tell anymore.

You collect yourself together before you speak up, finally, “Okay. You can look now.”

He removes his hands to see you sitting sideways in your seat, to face him. Your feet are tucked beneath you and you hold out a sloppy, slightly smeared chocolate muffin with an unlit candle stuck on top.

“Happy birthday, Dog Boy.”

Your voice is so soft and quiet, and he feels something take over him for a second. It’s strong, this feeling of adoration and something else he’s too nervous to admit, even to himself. He’s about to ask how in the world you would know that today’s his birthday, because he didn’t even know- but then he remembers the night you had written it into your calendar.

“You,” He begins, nearly breathless. “Thank you.”

You smile up at him and scoot closer, pushing the muffin towards him so that he could take it. He does, and he removes the candle and puts it on the dashboard, letting it roll away carelessly.

The muffin looks miniature in his big hands, which is to his advantage as he splits it into two, effortlessly. He offers you a piece and you take it with a big, gushy smile on your face. You don’t see him smiling back at you endearingly.

You’re bashful like the two of you are having a lunch date in a school courtyard. You want to look at him, revel in his features, but you don’t want to be caught staring either.

You throw yourself a bone and let yourself glance at him. He’s finished his piece, and all he’s doing now is swiping the crumbs off of his jacket. As he shifts around, you see a smudge of chocolate right by his lip.

“Wait,” You start, leaning closer. “There’s frosting on your lip.”

“Here?” He pokes his tongue out on the wrong side, and you have to bite back a little smile.

“No, no- I’ll get it for you,” You offer, leaning in even closer to him, nearly crawling right on top. You stick your thumb out gently, your touch feather light as you bring it to the corner of his lip and wipe off the small spot of frosting.

You linger on purpose, and his breath hitches.

“Sunshine,” He breathes, hands frozen in the air. He’s unsure of where to put them.

“Mhm?”

“Can I,” He starts, hesitates, then starts again. “Can I kiss you?”

Your smile speaks for you, but the moment that you let out a breathy yes, he cups your face and slots his lips against yours. He’s so soft, despite it being winter and the both of you constantly dry and chapped. He holds you, moves you like you’re a glass doll, so cautious and gentle. Megumi begins to shift the both of you, sitting up before pushing you down onto the seat.

It’s awkward. The truck is so small, the both of you clunking around, but you two take it like champs. He breaks away to give a little laugh against your lips, easing the tension, and it’s so wonderful, so beautiful, that you waste no time pulling him back down to kiss him just a bit harder.

You figure that he’s hesitant, and you appreciate that he isn’t pushy and trying to cross all boundaries at once. You know that if you only wanted to kiss and call it a night, he’d be perfectly okay with that.

But you’re as greedy as ever, and you want more of him.

You start playing with his lips, pulling away to softly bite at them, dart your tongue across the bottom one. It makes him freeze for a second, feelings of surprise and excitement engulfing his heart, but then he indulges. Megumi gently pulls your bottom lip into his mouth and sucks on it, thumb softly caressing your jaw.

And you’re so starved, having gone months without even shaking someone’s hand. His actions make you gasp out softly, and he feels driven to pull more out of you.

Megumi catches himself in his thoughts and pulls away again, “This- Is this okay?”

You’re melting beneath him. You nod rapidly, begging silently. “Yes,” You huff out, precious smile coming across your lips. “Please.”

He nods and then dives back in to kiss you square on the lips before moving lower, planting kisses down your neck as much as he can before your puffy parka interrupts him. He smiles fondly and looks up at you, seeing if you would notice the obstruction.

“Oh,” You let out, face hot. “Sorry.”

You’re so embarrassed, but Megumi thinks he could just eat you up.

You prop yourself onto your elbows as best as you can, messily unzipping the jacket and flinging it away. It’s not like it goes far, anyway. You hear the zipper scratch against the glove compartment as you thrash it away, and it makes the both of you laugh breathily.

You watch as he takes it upon himself to do the same, undoing the buttons on his own jacket before carelessly tossing it behind him. The two of you are now just in long sleeves and cargo pants, and he looks at you with an inkling of concern. “It’s still cold,” He whispers, now that he’s lowering himself back over you, “Leave it on, yeah?”

You want nothing more than to rip your shirt off, but you know he’s right. You know that if you take it off, the bite of the cold would probably dampen your mood.

You can only nod obediently, eyes begging him again, for a kiss.

Megumi sneaks back down again to pick up where he left off, kissing along your neck and down to your collarbone before your shirt blocks off the rest of your chest from him. He’s moved his hands lower to rearrange your legs, to make it more comfortable for the both of you, and you’re so pliant beneath him, wanting all of his touches.

His hands reach the button of your pants, “I’m gonna…” he starts, but never finishes. He’s caught up in the way you lift your hips to help him slide down your pants, caught up in the sight of you in your underwear.

As soon as he tugs them off and pushes them to the side, you hiss as the cool air kisses your skin, and he’s quick to soothingly rub at your thighs, hands trailing down to your calves.

“I know,” He soothes, warming you up. “I know, baby.”

Megumi wants to take it slow, he wants to be able to ride out the moment, but the way you whimper at his touch pushes him. “Fuck- fuck, okay.”

His movements and options are limited due to the space of the truck. He can’t necessarily do everything he wants with you, but he's grateful for the moment regardless.

He moves back down to kiss you, slightly softer this time, with his forearm propped beside your head to keep him up, and his other trailing up and closer to the space between your thighs. Just the movement of his fingers gently dragging across your clothed cunt is enough to have you rutting up into his hand, desperate for more, tired of his slow pace. He’s swallowing all your sounds, but he pulls back as soon as he slips his hand beneath your panties, wanting to hear you this time. Cold fingers meet your folds and you twitch, legs nearly closing around his hand, and he smiles as he tuts at you. “Relax,” He breathes out against your jaw before softly nipping at it, kissing it.

You’re already wet, and he smiles to himself cheekily before lazily rubbing his fingers against your entrance to slicken them. It makes you sigh out, so pretty and light, and he just loves the way your chest rises and falls.

What he loves even more, though, is the moan you let out the second that he starts circling your clit, the way your hands tighten their grip on his shoulders. You’re trying to push yourself up against him, trying to feel more, but all he does is smile into your neck, absolutely basking in the way you need him so badly.

“Please,” You finally cave, voice airy as you softly drag your nails across his back to get his attention. “More, please, I want- I want you.”

He reaches up to plant a kiss on the corner of your lips. “All you had to do was ask.”

He smoothly pulls down your underwear entirely, and just the sight of your arousal clinging onto the cotton fabric is enough to have him swallowing, adam’s apple bobbing. Megumi slips only his middle finger into your core at first, and it’s enough to satisfy you for now, walls fluttering. His fingers are so long, and you think about just how big his hands are, and it’s enough to make you whine in your own little fantasy.

He takes his time in pumping it in and out of you before slipping his ring finger inside, picking up the pace. Your thighs tighten around his hand and you sloppily try to pull him down closer to you, hiding your face into the crook of his neck as he curls his fingers. The palm of his hand presses against your clit and you cry out, fingers latching onto his hair as you start your little spiel of babbles.

“Right there, right there, oh my god, there, there-”

You cut yourself off as he speeds up, your cute little incoherent sounds encouraging him. He wishes he could see your face, see the look in your eyes, but you can only squeal into his shoulder and knock your knees against his legs as you feel something within you tighten.

“Right here?” He teases, fingers curling against your warm walls, and the feeling of it is enough to make him hang his head low, panting, cock straining at the thought of how you’d feel around him.

“Mhm,” You choke out, too far gone to try and say something to tease him back. Your head drops back onto the seat and you feel your back arch up against him, heat swarming in your abdomen as you chant out breathily- Yes, yes, yes.

Megumi feels you tense up, and then you’re twitching, crying into him as you come undone all over his fingers, earning a groan from him. He works you through it, lets you have your fun before your vision is blurring and you’re half heartedly pushing his hand away.

You fall limp beneath him and watch him with a hazy mind as he brings his fingers up to his lips, lapping at them, sucking them clean.

You turn your head to the side, suddenly feeling shy. He smiles down at you, “Don’t try to be modest, now.”

It makes you laugh weakly, makes you swat at his chest so softly that it feels like a mere tap. He dips back down to pepper the junction of your neck and shoulder in kisses, occasionally licking and biting, hoping little bruises bloom across your skin.

The both of you freeze when you feel something hard poke at the inside of your thigh.

Megumi groans, and you know he’s embarrassed. He buries his face into the side of your neck, hand slipping beneath your shirt to massage at your waist.

You want him now, fast, before the two of you call it a night, and you want to call out for him.

But you can’t just say Dog Boy, please fuck me.

It makes you wince at yourself, but you’re too shy to ask for his name now.

“Baby,” You finally breathe out, your hand running up and down his arm.

He hums contentedly into your neck.

“Need you,” You start quietly, taking his hand in yours and guiding it to your heat. “Need you inside me.” You swear you hear him groan a low Fuck right into your skin.

He heaves himself up, eyes glossed over with lust and a glint of something that makes your heart skip a few beats, but you don’t want to jump the gun with that just yet. You can only hope that he sees the same thing in your eyes, too.

Megumi sloppily works on undoing his pants, heaving a content sigh when you rushedly swat his hands away and take the task into your own hands.

He stuffs his pants past his knees, frantically trying to kick them off his legs as fast as he can.

You nearly whine at the sight of him, like this, all for you, in front of you.

He moves down to kiss you, pushing you back down to the seat, making sure you were lying comfortably. He takes his cock into his hand, smoothing it over your wet folds back and forth to prep himself.

You’re panting, lifting your hips, urging him on.

He finally aligns himself with your slit, but pauses for a second.

“Megumi.”

“H-Huh?”

“My name’s Megumi,” He suddenly confesses as he pushes his tip in slowly.

You think you carry the universe in your chest. It feels like it’s expanding, endlessly, painfully- a delicious type of pain. You’re too caught up in the newfound intimacy of learning his name that your jaw goes slack as soon as you feel him bottom out within you, breaking you from your trance.

You feel so full.

“Megumi,” You cry unabashedly, moving your hips, encouraging him to move.

He groans, big hands planting themselves on your hips as he begins with slow thrusts, drawing out the feeling. He hits all the right places, but the pace he’s going at is devastating.

You’re whining, begging, babbling out for him to go faster, to fuck me, please, please Megumi, and the sound of your pretty voice crying out his name is enough to drive him insane.

He loves torturing you, really. Loves the way you cry for him, the way you clench around him, the way your voice shakes.

Megumi sets a fast pace, rutting into you like you’re the outlet for all his pent-up feelings. You’re squealing, and when the tip of his cock hits the spot that sends you around the world and back, you feel tears blur your vision.

“Feels s-so good, Megumi,” You chatter dumbly, too lost in the feeling and the sounds he’s making.

“Yeah?” He strains, grip tightening on your hips. “Look so pretty like this, baby. So fucking- oh, god- pretty.”

He enunciates his statement with a particularly hard thrust that has your toes curling, your hands tight on his biceps before he moves to fold you in half, squeezing you into a mating press as best as he can. His eyes zero in on where the two of you meet as he tries to etch the sight into his memory.

“Megumi,” You cry weakly, “So much, so so good, so- ah!”

You can’t even form a single coherent sentence, and he thinks you’re so adorable. He watches as fresh tears cascade down the path of dried ones, and it only spurs him further. The two of you are so pathetically desperate to reach your orgasms, you don’t even mind when his thrusts become sloppy and off-kilter, when he starts groaning and even lets out the prettiest of sounds when you flutter around him.

You manage to collect yourself for just a second.

“Please fill me up,” You beg, nodding dumbly to egg him on. “Wanna- wanna feel you cum inside me, wanna- oh, fuck, fuck, baby, please-”

He knows it’s probably not the smartest idea, but he’s too caught up in chasing his pleasure, and your little begs and mewls make his movements stutter before he finally stills inside you, pressing your thighs to your chest to steady himself.

“Take it, baby. Fucking- god- take it.”

“Mhm,” You nod frantically, static invading your vision, “Make me yours, please, make me- I’m, oh, I’m yours,” You’re running your mouth nonsensically, and the feeling of his seed spilling inside of you is enough to push you past the edge until you’re crying and shaking beneath him.

He wants to hear you say it for forever, telling him that you’re his.

He leans in to kiss your forehead, “Say it again.”

You think you could pass out, chest still heaving up and down as you come back down from your high, but you would do anything to please him. “‘M yours.”

Megumi smiles to himself before he pulls out, the sensation pulling a hiss from you as he lets you relax your legs and tries to clean the both of you to the best of his ability, considering the circumstances.

He helps you slide your panties back on, maneuvers your legs for you so that you can tug on your pants, worried that you’ll get cold fast.

You let him take charge, too exhausted to even move. Megumi splays across the seat and pulls you into his chest, trying to pull his jacket over the two of you like a blanket.

“Megumi,” You say sleepily, cheek smushed against the spot where his heart beats. He hums, encouraging you to go on.

“My name,” You start, “My name is (Y/N).” And, before you let him speak, you turn your head to look up at him with a cheeky little smile. “Does this make us friends, now?”

He laughs. It’s your favorite sound.

“I hope we can be more than friends.”

You hum affirmatively and kiss his earlobe before nestling against him, falling asleep.

The days are filled with love and gestures of affection after that night. Megumi is more comfortable now, though sometimes he pinches your side gently whenever you slip up and accidentally call him Dog Boy. He tells you that he demands reparations for your wrongdoings- he specifies that he would like to be paid back in kisses.

Whenever you call him a sap, he pinches your side again.

Although the two of you seem to be in your own little world, lost in love, the outer world has not changed. You add another step to your nightly routine, right before you go to sleep; Check the radio.

Megumi leaves it propped on the dashboard at all times and frequently asks you to try and catch a signal so that the two of you can hear some news. Day after day, you find yourselves unlucky. You’re always greeted by the same crackle and fuzz.

He’s been thinking hard lately, and you can see it. He’s always a little distracted, late to respond to you, or sometimes not even listening altogether.

He’s thinking that at this rate, it may be smarter to settle down. To find somewhere to stay, to wait out the situation. Surely, with time, the zombies should die out. This cannot last forever.

And while you’re splitting the food or reading outdated magazines that he grabbed for you at the store, he’s facing his own little mental battles. He knows that you dream of a better future, with people coming together and starting anew. And he knows that you’re becoming even more hopeful now that you’ve reached North and the camp should be within your sights at any time, but the journey itself is not promising. It’s colder, storms more often, the truck shakes and does not shield you from the cold all that well when the two of you are asleep. Megumi is nearly positive that the best idea, for now, is to settle down somewhere and to at least let the season pass.

He’s promised himself that he’ll bring it up to you on this particular morning, as the snow kisses the windows and fights against the weak attempts of the windshield wipers. You’re rummaging through a magazine, reading it over for the nth time and trying to fill out one of the crossword puzzles you had previously left empty for times like this.

“(Y/N),” He starts, mouth dry as he glances at you before looking back at the road.

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking, recently…”

As he pauses to collect what he wants to say, you giggle to yourself. “I know. You always look kind of constipated, you know? You’re not very good at hiding it, Megs.”

His face flushes red, and the both of you know it’s not from the cold. He appreciates that you’re not upset that he’s been keeping things to himself as of late, but he thinks he could’ve gone without the playful comment.

“Anyway,” He stresses, though he doesn’t feel so panicky anymore. He strictly keeps his eyes trained in front of him, on the road, following the short, yellow lines that divide it down the middle.

“I think… think we should settle down. The winter is only going to get harsher, and this truck is so old, I’m not sure how long it’ll last. We can find some place to stay- there’s empty houses everywhere- and we can sit out until the season is over. It’ll be safer that way.”

His proposition hangs in the air. You’re awfully quiet, and for a second he wonders if you were even listening.

“Megumi- pull over.”

“Huh? What?”

“Just- just stop the truck.”

He thinks you’re angry, but you don’t sound it. He rushedly puts the truck into park and tries to catch a glimpse of your face, to see how you feel.

You look focused. You don’t even bother to look at him; you’re looking past him.

He confirms that you probably weren’t even listening to what he said when you ask, “Do you see that? Over there?”

“See what?”

“That… that big white thing, like… look.” You point your finger in the general direction of what you see.

“(Y/N), everything’s white- it’s snowing-”

You hush him, “No, no. It’s huge...it’s..”

You don’t finish. You’re tired of squinting to try and make out the shape of what you see, so you haul the truck door open and spill out of it clumsily, the snow catching you. Fear, hope, adrenaline, excitement; it swallows you whole and you think you could throw up. You trudge towards the front of the truck, snow pulling on your boots like it’s begging you to stay.

Megumi follows after you, worried as to why you’re frozen in place, pushing past the clingy snow. Your name catches in his throat before he gets to call out to you. He finally sees what you see, just a few yards away.

Children. Young, healthy looking children. They’re running around, squealing and throwing snow at each other, little hands covered in gloves and big, puffy jackets slowing down their movements. He sees people calling out to them, ushering them inside big tents- tents.

They’re caked with snow, but positively scattered all over the place. He sees people peeking out, zipping them up, running straight out of them to dive into inches of fresh snow.

You’re rushing back to the truck, feeling weightless as you snag your backpack from the passenger seat and haul it with you as you try to run past Megumi, towards the people. “Hurry, Megumi!” You call, a smile so evident in your voice.

“I have to show them my calendar!”

#megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #fushiguro x reader #jjk x reader #megumi fluff #megumi smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut

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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 7 months

Text

Room for Two

Sam and Dean Winchester x teen!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: Dean takes you in after your mom is killed by a monster, but it doesn’t go over well with Sam

“There, that shed.” Dean led the way along the dirt road, Sam right at his heels. “Keep an eye out for that thing, I’m gonna see if the kids are in there.”

Sam turned to scour the woods while Dean stepped up to the newly padlocked shed. He swiftly shot the lock, opening the doors to reveal at least a dozen startled kids, ranging from tweens to mid-teens.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

Dean was surprised to see one of the older ones brandishing a broken board as she stepped up in front of the other kids.

“Hey, I’m here to get you guys out,” Dean assured her, lowering his gun. “I’m here to help you.”

“Is-is that thing still out there?” The girl—you—didn’t lower your board as your eyes scanned what little area you can see.

“We don’t know, that’s why we’ve got to move.” Dean was becoming impatient.

“I can’t just let all these kids out there for that thing to pounce on them,” you argued, keeping your body firmly between Dean and the other children.

“Look, kid, I can protect them, but we can’t stay here,” Dean stepped forwards, and he deftly blocked your attempted blow, wrenching the board from your hands. “Let’s go.”

You hesitated, but this strange man seemed to be your best bet.

“Ok,” you said finally, knowing that the kids would follow your lead. “I want the youngest in the middle, we go as a group, no stragglers and no one gets left behind.” You turned to Dean as the kids began to shuffle out with the two of you at the lead. “I want a gun.”

“Excuse me?” He frowned at you.

“There’s a lot of kids, and a lot of places this thing could attack from. You defend the front, give me a gun and I’ll take the back.”

Dean hesitated, but a rustling in the woods nearby made up his mind for him.

“Don’t shoot anybody,” he said as he handed you one of his guns.

…

The group made it back to where the Impala was parked without incident, which made Dean assume that Sam had taken out the monster. But then where was he?

“Alright, there’s a gas station about a mile down this road. You’ve gotta take the kids there, and you can call for help.”

“What about you?” You were still on high alert, your eyes darting around the area.

“My brother’s out there trying to find this thing, I need to help him.” Dean turned to go, but you grabbed his arm.

“Wait! Do-do you have a phone?” Dean was surprised at the sudden change in your demeanor, and he finally saw you for the young kid that you were. “I have to call my mom.”

Dean’s heart lodged in his throat. He had known this moment was coming, but he still wasn’t ready for it.

Kids had started disappearing two weeks ago, just vanishing from their beds. All the parents were beside themselves, relying on cops who had no answers. Every parent except your mom. She had tried to go after the monster before Sam and Dean had gotten wind of the job.

She’d been torn apart.

“Kid.” You didn’t miss Dean’s transformed expression, or his gentle voice.

“What?” You asked anxiously.

“Kid, your mom, she…she tried to find you,” Dean sighed. “She didn’t make it.”

You were shaking your head, your chest rising and falling rapidly as your breathing quickened.

“That-that’s not possible. She…tha-there…” you were struggling for words, panic and grief overtaking you. “My mom can’t be-“

“I’m sorry.” When your knees gave out, Dean was right there, holding you up as you began to cry. “Kid, I’m so sorry.”

“The other kids,” you said after several minutes. You were almost standing on your own, but you still gripped onto Dean’s arms for stability. “Their-their parents-“

“All ok,” Dean assured you, surprised at the question. “Your mom…she was the only one to go after this thing. She was a genius, kid. I don’t think we could’ve found you guys without some of the research she left behind.”

“Did-did she…um…” you couldn’t seem to get the words out, but Dean was pretty sure he knew what you were trying to ask, because it’s what he would’ve asked.

“That thing is ruthless, but it…it’s fast, kid. She wouldn’t have felt any pain. Probably didn’t even see it coming.”

You didn’t speak, but Dean sensed his words had helped, if only slightly.

“Your brother,” you seemed to shake yourself out of your stupor. “These kids, they can make it back on their own. Let me help you hunt this thing.”

Dean didn’t even think about. “Not a chance.”

“Look, this thing killed my mother. I’m gonna go after it, whether I’m with you or not.”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “You’re gonna take these kids, and you’re gonna get them to that gas station, and you’re gonna call for someone to come pick you guys up.”

“I don’t have anyone to call.”

Your words silenced Dean, and you took the opportunity to continue.

“For as long as I can remember, it’s been me and my mom. That…that thing took my only family. I’m gonna help you kill it. Now you can either let me, or I’ll go on without you.”

Dean weighed his options, but it was pretty clear he had none. Those kids needed to get to safety, he had to get to Sam, and he didn’t have the time to try to drag you away.

“You stay close,” he grumbled. “And don’t shoot me.”

As soon as the group of kids had a designated leader and started their walk towards the gas station, Dean led you further into the woods to track Sam and the monster.

…

“Dang it, kid, I told you to stay close!”

“I was close!”

“I still don’t understand why you brought a child with you, Dean.” Sam’s voice cut off your argument with Dean.

“I didn’t exactly bring her,” Dean said. “She came because she’s a stubborn brat.”

“Hey, I had your back out there.”

“Yeah, but nobody had your back, because you didn’t stay close!” Dean exploded.

“It’s not that bad,” you soothed. “It might not even need stitches.”

“Oh you definitely need stitches,” Sam interjected.

“Let’s take her back to the bunker,” Dean sighed. “I can stitch her up there.”

“What?” Sam stared at Dean. “Why not the hospital? Then she can call her family and-“

“No,” Dean glanced at you as he spoke, and he didn’t miss the sudden nervousness in your demeanor. “No let’s just go back to the bunker.”

You relaxed slightly as you followed Sam and Dean to the Impala, and Dean felt his gut twist just looking at you. The kid who faced down a monster without even flinching was now trailing behind him, scared of being dropped off somewhere and abandoned without any family.

Dean slowed his pace, throwing an arm around your shoulder once he was beside you.

“You did good today, kid,” he assured you. “We’re gonna take you to a safe place, get you fixed up, and you can stick around as long as you ne…” Dean hesitated, then changed his words. “As long as you want.”

He hoped you didn’t think his offer strange, but he just felt the need to protect you. Even after just one night, you felt like a little sister to him.

He didn’t have to worry, because the hope in your eyes and the smile on your face that appeared after his words showed him that you felt the same. It showed that you were relieved to have someone to look out for you.

Relieved to have a family.

…

“And you’re done.”

Your whole body relaxed as Dean put down the needle. You didn’t even look at the stitches, wanting to keep your mind off the pain that lingered.

“Thanks, Dean.” You smiled at the man who had taken you in, patched you up, and was already starting to feel like the big brother you’d never had.

“Anytime kid.” Dean smiled back at the little girl who had seen things beyond her years, and thought about how he’d already made a promise to himself to keep you from even more harm. “Hey, there’s a few rooms right down that hallway, you can crash wherever you want.”

As soon as you were out of sight, Sam turned to look at Dean.

“Dean, what is going on? Why is she here?”

“You didn’t recognize her? You did the research, Sam, her mom was the one that got killed.”

“And?” Sam questioned.

“And she needed a place to go.”

“Ok, I get that Dean, but this isn’t exactly the best place for her,” Sam said.

“It was the only place I could think of.”

“And how long does she stay here? This isn’t a home, Dean, it barely qualifies as a place to crash. It’s a bunker; she deserves somewhere real.”

“Yeah well, she had somewhere real before that monster. Now she’s got the best I can do.”

“Dean, we can’t just take in a teenage girl! Our lives are insane!”

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

The brothers turned in unison at the sound of your voice from the doorway.

“Kid, you should go get some rest.”

“Look,” you sighed, ignoring Dean as you stepped further into the room. “I don’t want to cause any trouble. If you guys don’t want me here, just say the word and I’m gone.” You had been directing your words at Dean, but suddenly you turned to Sam. “But don’t do it because you think this isn’t good enough for me. I’m not looking for a parent, here. I’m grown, I’m raised, I’m not looking for a dad or something. I just need a place to go. If it’s not here, I’ll be fine. But I’m not privileged enough to let something like this go, if you’re ok with me staying.”

“I’m not trying to kick you out,” Sam sighed. “I just think it’s not a good idea. But it’s not my decision.”

Dean didn’t miss the way your shoulders slumped when Sam brushed past you and went to his room.

“I don’t want to be trouble for you guys.” It amazed Dean how stark the difference was between you when you were comfortable—sarcastic, strong, and quick-witted—and how you were when you were uncomfortable—like now.

“Don’t worry about Sam, he’s just…” what? Worried? Somehow it felt like more than that. “You should get some rest now, really.”

…

The next week passed quickly for everyone. You recovered quickly, and to Dean’s relief you began to get comfortable around the bunker. Sam however didn’t seem to share Dean’s feelings.

He wasn’t cruel to you; in fact he was fairly civil. But it was obvious to everyone that he didn’t want you here. Neither of you spoke about it, though. Sam seemed determined to ignore you at every turn, and that vulnerability that Dean had seen in you on the first day had gone. You spoke your mind, and for the first few days that had meant that you and Sam butted heads more times than Dean could count. Hence Sam’s current desire to ignore you.

Dean had made up for Sam’s behavior by including you in everything. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to leave, in fact he wanted more than anything for you to stay.

You noticed what Dean was doing, and you’d never appreciated anything more. But that didn’t change what else you’d noticed; it was starting to divide the brothers. With Sam avoiding you like the plague, and Dean sticking to you like Velcro, tensions were high in the bunker.

After a particularly nasty fight between the boys, you made up your mind. You couldn’t stay here. You wouldn’t repay your rescuers by being the reason that they stopped talking to each other.

You were in the room that Dean had let you claim, packing up the few belongings that you had into a backpack. It was stupid, but you began to imagine the life you could’ve had here: two big brothers. A family. People who cared about you.

You flinched when you saw a tear drip onto your hand. Once the dam was opened, it turned into a flood. The tears overtook you, so much that they quickly turned into sobs, and soon it became hard to breathe. Your knees gave out, and you sat there on the hard floor next to your bed, your arms wrapped tightly around your stomach as you cried.

“Kid?”

You were on your feet in an instant at the sound of Sam’s voice in the doorway. It was a struggle, but within a few seconds you managed to halt your tears, rubbing at your face as though you could make Sam unsee what he’d seen.

“Knock much?” Your attempt at sarcasm was half-hearted, and so pathetic that Sam had no desire to sass you back.

“The door was open.”

“I’m sorry.” You turned your back to Sam as you returned your focus to your packing.

“Going somewhere?” Sam’s voice was soft and gentle. Nothing like anything you’d heard before.

“Yeah, I-I figured it was time to move on.” You cursed both your stammer and the quaver in your voice.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do.”

“Look,” Sam sighed as he stepped further into your room, and you retreated from him to sit on your bed. “I know we haven’t exactly gotten along lately—“

“Don’t.” You felt the tears trying to return, and you blinked rapidly to keep them at bay, ducking your head to avoid Sam’s gaze. “It’s just better if-if I go.”

“I wasn’t trying…” Sam shook his head. “Ok, maybe I was trying to get rid of you. But it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“Why?” You scoffed. “Because I’m crying? Please don’t pity me, Sam.”

“I don’t,” Sam insisted. “I just think…maybe I haven’t been giving you a chance.” He stepped closer to you, and you looked up to see him waiting at the edge of your bed. You gave him a slight nod of invitation, and he sat down next to you. “I guess it’s just…it was weird, alright? Dean got on with you so quickly, and he never does that. I mean, within an hour he was acting like…” Sam stopped, shaking his head.

“Like I was his little sister,” you finished, and Sam nodded.

“And I guess that felt a little weird. Then you moved in, and it was like he couldn’t be parted from you. I guess it felt like he was picking you over me.” Sam sighed. “It feels stupid now that I say it.”

“It’s not stupid,” you said. “You felt like you were losing your family. I get that.” You found yourself unable to look away from Sam’s gaze. You’d only ever seen him annoyed before. You hadn’t realized how kind he could be. “But I’m not trying to be a threat here. I-I just thought…I thought maybe I could find a place here with you guys. Like…like a family. Kinda dumb, huh?”

“No.” You were surprised at Sam’s insistence. “No, not dumb. And maybe it’s not too late for that.”

“What made you change your mind?”

Sam just shrugged.

“I figured Dean’s got a pretty big heart. There’s room for both of us in there.” Sam smiled. “Besides. Maybe I wouldn’t mind a little sister.”

You reached forward suddenly, wrapping your arms around Sam’s middle. For a second, you were worried it was too soon; then Sam let out a low chuckle, and his big arms wrapped around you, basically burying you in his large frame.

“Welcome to the family, kid.”

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean and sam #dean winchester x you #supernatural dean #the winchesters #winchesters x reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #winchesters x sister #dean x reader #dean winchester x little sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #spn sam winchester #sam winchester x you #sam winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x y/n #supernatural

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alecvolturiswifeforever · 2 months

Text

A Warm Welcome Home | D.V x Reader

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT - MINORS DNI

a/n: a little request for @agirllovespancakes because you are the cutest little mutual i ever did follow and i adore you 🫶🏻

based on prompts from here and here

ʚɞ

A broken giggle leaves your mouth as you wake up from your slumber to a familiar coolness pressing up against your back, something - someone snuggling into the crook of your neck with a deep sigh. A soft yawn escapes you, though not before you allow the raspy whisper to leave your lips. The grogginess of sleep still hung over you, and you were partly convinced your desire to have Demetri back with you was causing you to hallucinate his very presence.

“You’re back?”

You hear him hum softly, the sound rumbling through his chest and transforming into a soft purr when you lifted a hand to scratch at the locks on the very top of his head. After a moment of silence he lifted his head from your nape, your hand falling back down to rest on your hip. Demetri lightly tugged at your shoulder, an easy attempt at pulling you flat onto your back.

You took the chance to rub at your eyes, another yawn escaping unbidden before you look at him - though you realise he is already watching you intently, propped up on one arm and admiring you with the look of adoration you so very much adored. Blushing, you move to press your face into his chest, already knowing what’s to come before he even has the chance to open his mouth.

“Mmm, I have missed that adorable little blush.”

You whine at him instantly, pulling your face away from your hiding place to send him a scolding look. He quickly dismisses it, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You smile against his mouth and without hesitation you tilt your head just a teeny bit back in order to deepen the kiss. He shifted himself to hover above you with a groan, soft kisses quickly becoming much more heated, and it wasn’t long before he parted your legs with his knee in order to slot himself between your thighs.

His kisses began to break away from your lips, moving and travelling down across your jaw, towards your neck. He ravished your clavicle for a moment or two, taking extra care to suck a blossoming mark onto your sweet spot before continuing his journey down. You inhaled sharply, your shirt quickly torn from your body, the sound resonating throughout the near silent bedchamber. You pouted at him when he smirked up at you.

“I liked that shirt…”

“It was my shirt-“

“Still-!” You deepened the pout with an exaggerated sigh. “It was comfy…”

He chuckled against the skin of your breast, easily distracting you with each featherlight kiss he pressed onto your skin.

“You may wear as many of my shirts as your heart desires, darling.” He paused to press a lingering kiss your lips “That one simply looks much better on the floor.”

Your body immediately betrayed you as he began to kiss across your breasts and down to your navel, arching into him with the smallest of moans. You felt him smirk again, dragging the tip of his tongue in a gentle circle around your naval, travelling down to lightly trace just above the elastic of your panties.

“Come now, you can do better than that sweetheart.” His fingers teasingly made their way across your folds, not once slipping beneath the fabric that acted as a barrier between you both. “Don’t be shy baby, you know I love the way you moan my name.”

With that he pounced, attacking your clit through the fabric as you let out a gasping moan of his name, subconsciously rolling your hips into him as he suckled you gently. He hummed against your sex when you let out a whimper, using his thumb to stroke your hip gently. You follow your whimper with a loud whine as he pulled away, squirming in his hold at the loss of his mouth.

“Is this okay?” He asks, staring up at you from his place between your thighs.

“Yes I-“ You groan as he, once again, places featherlight kisses across your panty line, never once breaking the eye contact he shared with you. “Demetri-! Please-!”

He shushes you smugly, hands finding the edges of your underwear and tugging them down your legs, completely discarding them onto the floor with his previously torn shirt. “Relax, darling. I’ve got you.”

His lips attack you once again, only this time there was nothing stopping you from feeling the way his mouth slanted across your heat, burying his nose into your wet cunt and inhaling the scent of your arousal. You let out a loud moan, one hand subconsciously making its way to the top of his head and carding your fingers through his hair. Demetri purred once again, the vibrations sending another wave of arousal through you and leaving you dripping onto the sheets below. You felt his tongue move lower, probing at your entrance and drinking up your essence. A cry of pleasure left your throat before you could even process it, and he groaned in response, reaching up and taking one of your hands in his own to squeeze it gently in comfort. He growled, allowing them to remain interlocked atop of your chest, occasionally grasping a tad bit tighter.

“My gods, Y/N.” He grunted before pulling away even more, leaving you a whining squirming mess. “You taste fucking divine.”

As if to prove a point he pulled himself up and pressed a hard kiss to your mouth, coaxing your lips open. You keen at the taste of you on his lips, reaching up to keep his mouth on your own before letting go of his hand, reaching down to attempt to free his cock from the restraints of his slacks. He took pity on you when you struggled, letting out a breathy laugh against your lips as his hands moved down to finish the job for you. Pulling away to catch your breath for a moment, he used it to his advantage, pulling his shirt off as well and allowing for his body to be completely bared to you. With a soft moan at the sight of him, his hands came up to cup your cheeks, pulling your lips to his own before travelling down to your breasts. He kneaded them softly with his palms - thumbs brushing over your nipples.

Demetri moaned, louder than he had done previously, as you arched your body completely into him. Using his right hand, he quickly reached down, brushing his hard cock through your folds in order to gather some of your arousal, using his hand to spread it over himself before entering you in one swift thrust of his hips. You cried out, tears springing to your eyes at the sudden onslaught of pleasure filling your senses. He shushed you, hips pausing to allow you a moment of relief before he made you see stars. As you adjusted around him he spoke softly, sweet nothings harmonising surrounding you, followed by the softest of kisses across various parts of your face.

“My sweet darling girl, how gorgeous you look when you’re taking my cock.” A soft kiss to your nose.

“You always take me so well, so eager to please me.” A soft kiss to your cheeks.

“My pretty little girl making me so proud - so beautiful you look when you’re beneath me” A soft kiss to your forehead.

And when he was completely sure you were ready, he began to move, smiling adoringly when your head tilted back in ecstasy. A series of high pitched noises sounded out from the back of your throat, and he couldn’t help but chuckle before grunting as you clenched around him.

“Does that feel good, baby?”

You nodded eagerly, the only thing you could do as your nerves began to go haywire, pleasure spiking across your entire body. “You gonna cum for me, sweet girl? Let me hear those pretty little noises you make.”

You responded with a whine, which was quickly replaced with a sobbing moan as the tip of his member hit that oh so familiar spot inside you. Clawing at his arms you let out another, then another and he that was followed up by Demetri’s low growling, allowing one of his own to slip past his lips. You felt him reach the spot once more, and you felt the coil began to tighten in your abdomen, spiralling around and threatening to push you over the precipice at any given moment. He continued to attack your sweet spot with his cock, also reaching a hand down to your wet pussy in order to rub slow circles on your swollen bundle of nerves, timing it just right with the thrust of his hips. A gargled moan escaped you before you spoke up:

“‘Metri-!” You sobbed “I-m g-gonna-“

“That’s it darling, cum for me like the good girl you are.” His words were a growl and you let out a screaming moan as his final thrust sent you hurling over the edge. He immediately covered your mouth, shushing you gently before unintentionally letting out a loud moan himself as he felt you pulse around his sex, throbbing with the need of release. It seemed as if your climax had guided him into one of his own, because the next thing you knew his body was slumping against you as he painted your walls with his seed, completely filling you until you couldn’t take anymore.

Coming down from his high much quicker than you had, he smiled, feeling you shake beneath him as you panted in desperate need for air. He moved his hands to your hips, slowly pulling out of you and wincing when you hissed in pain.

“Sorry, gorgeous.” He kissed your forehead gently in apology, melting as you smiled up at him lazily. “You did so, so good for me - made me so proud. Now let me get you cleaned up, hm? I think you deserve a few more hours of sleep after that.”

He did just that, cleaning you as gently as he could with a washrag and wincing with you when he brushed over your sensitive folds. He wrapping you up in a blanket, cradling you to his chest. “I love you, my pretty little human.”

“Love you, Demi - so much”

He heard your soft whisper, right before you fell completely back into blissful slumber, happily snuggled into the comfort of your mates embrace. He smiled to himself happily as he stroked you hair, completely content with his welcome home.

ʚɞ

tag list: @your-next-daydream @agirllovespancakes @icefrozendeadlyqueen @iloveslasher @julesofvolterra

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nocturnesmoon · 4 months

Text

And no room for error (1/2)

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish x Reader Word count: 5.6k Tags: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Happy ending, Established throuple, polyamory, military inaccuracies, Mental instability, Ambiguous reader CW: Kidnapping, Human trafficking, Torture, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, canon typical violence, Allusions to unhealthy habits A/N: Forever holding these two close in my heart. Can be read as a standalone but might do a part two i dont know yet (Part 2) (Read on Ao3) -They come home to an empty apartment-

Johnny feels sick.

As he stares at the open door at the end of the hallway, he feels sick. The one he spotted when he wasn't even fully up the stairs and made him sprint the last few steps only to stand frozen when it's in full view.

He feels the worry gnaw the insides of his stomach, all the excitement that was eating him alive only moments prior, now transformed into a wretched beast of anxiety. The clutch on his duffel bag tightens, the string underneath his palm cutting uncomfortably against his skin.

He doesn't even need to be all the way there to see that the door is halfway off its hinges, or the hole that's been punched through it. It’s all types of wrong, something that shouldn't ever be, not on their apartment, not with you in it.

It’s as if a part of him fully blacks out, no thoughts, no feelings, only one purpose. He walks the short distance like a man possessed, dropping the duffel just outside the broken entrance before marching through it.

He calls out your name and finds no answer. His voice is hoarse, unrecognizable as your name falls from his lips again, over and over again in a desperate prayer. He moves like a jittery animal through the apartment, he doesn't take notice of its state, he doesn't spend extra time investigating, seeing the damage, he doesn't have to.

He knows what it means, the horrible implications and the terrible outcomes. He flays open the door to the bathroom, nothing, he opens the door to the home office with his shoulder, nothing, he carefully opens the door to your shared bedroom, terrified at the emptiness. The lack of your presence was something he never wanted to feel, something in his heart reaching out to you and failing to find you.

He stops, standing in the middle of the room that's in shambles. He sees the dresser that has its contents flipped upside down, some of your favorite clothing pieces torn to shreds on the wooden flooring.

He sees the splintered wood on the bedframe, a place that they had spent so many orange mornings with you in, the sheets now ruffled and unkempt void of a morning glow. He sees the broken mirror, the same one you insisted on having when the three of you moved in, you said you'd use it, but you never really do.

He sees the damage; he sees the sign of struggle.

The evident feeling of what happened here makes his muscles stiffen, his joints feels like they're about to snap. His head blacks out, fills up with an angry fog, tears prickling at his eyes and cold shame bleeding through his back.

It's a horrible feeling that makes him want to puke up his emotions, a habit they coaxed you out of after extensive support. He wants to think better thoughts, that you are at your friend’s house, and this happened while you weren't here.

But as he feels the looming presence behind him and hears the duffel bag crash against the ground out of shock, he knows this is happening and it's the most terrified he's ever been.

Where were you? Who were you with? Are you hurt? Are you even still alive?

Questions of horror plague Simon's mind as he paces the living room of disarray. The place had been completely ransacked, not only were you gone, but everything they had of sentimental, or material value had been destroyed, not taken, destroyed.

A nightmare come true, no, something worse than. It made Simon's skin crawl, his stomach doing twists in hopes of finding a better feeling. He felt freezing cold, the apartment was frosty, the heater you loved to sit in front of on cold winter mornings hadn't been used in too long.

How long have you been gone? How long has it been since they took you?

He hadn't felt fear like this in a long time, something that came to compare with a certain unspoken Christmas. A fear that kept him from getting too attached to anyone, not until he met Johnny who tore down his defenses, or you who phased right through his walls of reinforced steel.

Now it creeped its way back into his senses, reminding him that they failed to conceal you, they failed to keep you out of view, they did not keep you safe, and you were suffering the consequences of it.

Simon called the cops as soon as he got out of his own shock, he called Price immediately after knowing which of the two would be faster. Price had always been fond of you since the day they introduced you to him. Various holidays spent with Price and his family since they didn't live far, and you clearly enjoyed his cooking just a tad more than Johnny's, even if you didn't want to admit it to their faces.

Simon was still holding the phone to his ear long after Price had hung up with the promise of being right there. The phone was still warm against his skin, making him want to not pull it away and feel the eerie chill that the apartment shouldn't have.

He looks towards Johnny who's sitting on the couch, even more eerie than the apartment itself. He's too quiet for any of this, Simon had halfheartedly expected him to go off the rails in this type of situation, but no. He's completely quiet, staring down at a pair of dog tags in his hands, clutched tightly like they might disintegrate if he lets them go.

It's the dog tags they gave you, the fake ones they got made with each of their names since you were so fixated on their actual ones. Despite how much they adored the look of you with nothing but their tags, they would still need them in the field when they went out. To remedy it, they got you your own, one with Simon’s name and one with Johnny's, a mark to claim you as theirs.

You never went anywhere without it after you first laid eyes on them. You'd always have them dangling around your neck if you went out, or if the outfit called for something else, you'd have them wrapped around your wrist, or safely tucked in your pocket.

It was your piece of them, something to hold close whenever they weren't home. A testament to the fact that they still had their own, that they were not gone forever and would come back to you. You weren't wearing them now; you didn't have them with you.

"Who do ye think it was?" Johnny's voice interrupts the cold dread silence that filled a living room that was supposed to be warm and safe.

Simon's head snaps up, the muscles in his arms finally relenting and letting him take the phone away from his ear. "What?" much like Johnny's, his voice had that constant tinge of fear ever since they entered the apartment.

"Ye know how many enemies we've made" Johnny sighs, his head bowing down to rest his forehead against his knuckles, "Which of the sick bastards do ye think took 'em." It makes Simon sick to even consider, but it’s becoming blaringly obvious that it was what happened to you.

Nothing else would make sense in their heads, this was no ordinary break in. If you were staying somewhere else, you'd answered their dozen calls, and their 50 messages. There was no reason for you leave, no reason for you to ghost them and leave the apartment like this.

"We must've been made a mistake somewhere, left a trail, led them right to here," Johnny continues, going down a spiral road that promises a fall to every turn. "Right to them" he tries to conceal the crack in his voice, biting down on his tongue to stop the rising panic in his chest.

It’s no use, there's no getting past Simons observant gaze, not a feeling to be hid when his eyes flickers over you and brings out every little thought you've ever had. "I called Price," Simon's voice becomes a tether between them, something to bind them together and hold the uncontrollable explosions in their chests at bay.

He pockets his phone and moves over to where his lover is sitting. Every step feels like his legs are full buckets of water, sludgy movement accompanied by a certain lightheadedness. He has to stay strong for the both of them, for you, wherever you are now.

He positions himself between Johnny's legs to take his attention away from your dog tags. His roughened hands gently glide over the stubble on Johnny's cheek, guiding his eyesight upwards and bringing him into an encompassing hug. One to keep him tugged away from the scene, away from the reality. A hug to compress them both together, to stop them from falling apart in your absence.

Simon doesn't view himself as a religious man, spiritual or anything of the sort, but right now he prays. He prays to any god that will hear him, any entity that will look upon his bloodied soul and carry pity for him. He prays for your return, your life, your being, that when they find you, and they will find you, that you won't be hurt, that you will still be you.

Price comes first, as expected, the police shortly after. When he first saw Simon's number pop up on his phone, he felt confused. There was no fear in him yet just confusion because Simon doesn't call ever, unless it's important.

When he found out the reason, he felt the claws of fear himself. A situation everyone in the 141 grapples with, when they have the knowledge of loved ones at home. Knowing it was you only made the fear worsen.

Though skeptical, he had been happy when the boys had introduced you to him, happy that they found something to care for and trust other than themselves. He had multiple times admitted to himself how well the three of you fit together, each of you completing something that the other would be missing.

The paternal or brotherly instinct in him that he held for his boys in the 141 quickly translated over to you as well. Much like for anyone else in his family or the 141, he'd go to great lengths for you. In fact, he's pretty sure he broke a traffic law or two to get here so fast.

He watches from afar by the staircase, Simon was talking to one of the police officers that came by his body rigid ever so tense. He knows that this is something that could destroy these two to a new level, a level Price would not have seen before.

He knew Simon better than Johnny, and while Simon prided himself in looking like he had it all together, he had seen the man in his worst times, and it was destructive. A place he could barely pull the man out of once he sunk down to it.

Johnny had placed himself on the staircase, unable to face the direction of what was once a home of warmth and safety. He was quietly talking to Kyle on the phone, informing him and of what they knew and what they didn't, in a sense helping each other calm down while preparing what needs to be done.

Kyle had offered to come over there asap, sounded practically halfway out the door but Johnny managed to talk him out of it. Price was already here, along with him and Simon and the police it was already a crowd that didn't need more attention than necessary.

Price had stopped listening a while ago, trusting any other finer details for Johnny to deliver. He was focused solely on Simon and the officers. They looked almost bored as they listened to Simon explain the needed details, their general lack of respect firing irritation into his veins.

He knew that he cared for them in a way no superior technically should, this wasn't just about keeping his soldiers in one piece so he could have use of their skills in the field, it was about the bond they shared, the traces of family between them all. It brought them together when needed, they could trust each other to see things through, and help when things seemed hopeless.

That trust extended to you too, a heart full of so much emotion you never failed to surprise Price with your range. He had met so many different people in his time, and rarely did he ever find someone like you, a personality of range so raw it repelled the wrong people and drew in the ones that could handle you.

He looks towards the door that creeks open, red fiery curls, that you had described one time over tea, poking out along with a set of curious eyes. A nosy neighbor you had particular disdain for, finally now looking to see what all the noise is about.

He gives them eyes sharp like daggers, promising blood, and vengeance if they didn't kindly close the door again. It often fell into topic during your teatime with him, petty gossip shared between the two of you. You had called them creepy, perverse, gross, eyes that stared too long at you when you passed in the hallway, and words drawn out as if you keep you close longer whenever you talked.

Price already had plenty of reason to distrust and dislike them, but even more so now because of their plain ignorance. Even if they didn't know how long ago the deed was done, the damage is noticeable, the noise it must have made when it was done isn't something you just miss.

No, your neighbors had deliberately ignored the obvious signs. Walked past it thinking someone else will call it in, someone else will help, but nobody ever did. The red curls disappeared again, most likely got bored with the lack of a scene to watch now that the police were searching the home.

"You think they will find anything?" Price's attention was promptly brought back to Johnny, who had seemingly finished his phone call. Now looking up to him with worry and fear, occasionally glancing back at the open door and wincing at the reminder.

He wants to assure him, to tell Johnny that yes, they will find everything they can, they'll build a case, your sweetheart will be safe and sound within the morning, but Price doesn't like to lie to them when it doesn't benefit them.

"No…" Price answers with a sigh, his arms coming to cross over his chest, "But we will find something."

He can already feel it in the way the officers halfheartedly take on the case, the disinterested stares, their overworked faces. They won't find anything, and they certainly won't find you. Even if they wanted to it's more likely that this is beyond them.

This isn't something simple, it’s something that could go way back. A deliberate hit on the two of them, revenge maybe, or a message. Time would reveal which one, only one thing was certain right now, you were their top priority.

The first few days back on base are like hell for Simon and Johnny. Having to go back to work with the knowledge of your absence makes both of them go a little mad. They know Price is doing everything he can to speed it along, to find out something about your whereabouts, but it takes time.

Meanwhile they're left with nothing to do except work and wait. They both know they can't return back to their apartment with the intent to live there anymore, but the task of looking for a new place is all too daunting. Not to mention it would feel wrong without your input, with your acceptance of their new flat, a big decision they didn't want to make without you.

They have different coping mechanisms in your absence. Johnny is a lot more withdrawn, in his own head all too much thinking about you and what state you could be in now. He draws but its barely an escape anymore, it doesn't help him unwind like it used to, so he goes to the gym, he works out, he punches the bag imagining it’s your captors face whatever they might look like.

Simon swamps himself with paperwork, taking on way more than he can handle, because if a single thought of you presses into his head, he might not be able to keep his composure. He's barely keeping afloat as is, holding Johnny close every night calming each other down the best they can.

Even so there is a definite distance between them, the lack of overlap in their activities and work putting them at bay from each other during the day. The constant separation in the morning and the sleepless nights take a toll on them both.

One that Simon only truly realizes when he opens the door to his room and sees Johnny broken down into a heave of sobs. He wasn't unfamiliar with panic attacks, having them himself on an annoying basis, but he knew they didn't plague Johnny as much as they did now.

Johnny felt sick ever since the apartment, he hadn't been eating properly because how could he when you might not have food, he hadn't been resting because how could he when you might not be rested, he couldn't do anything unless it was to further the task of finding you. Every time he tried, he was filled with an unbridled shame that bled into his bones, and made it infinitely harder to do.

Simon softly closes the door, making his presence known but still being quiet as to not startle him on either end. He walks over, watching his partners state of panic, kneeling to take him in his arms and hold him close.

"Breathe…" he whispers against Johnny's scalp; he's still crying and gasping for air but he melts against Simon like he's always meant to be there. Johnny shifts, pressing fully against him and burying his face into his chest.

"I need you to breathe love…"

Johnny tried gasping for air again, tried to focus on the steady heartbeat in Simon’s chest but it felt futile. "I..I can't…" his voice broke over midway "What…what if we never find them Si….what if they're not even ali-"

"Stop."

Simon pressed his partner even closer, halfway into his lap at this point in an attempt to soothe him. He knew how many times he must've gone there by now, entertaining the thought that there will be nothing to find anymore, that what they're looking for is no longer a thing. He doesn't want to go there, he refuses to believe it as a possibility, because Simon isn't sure what he is going to do with himself if that turns out to be the case.

He might crumble fully this time, fall with nothing to catch him. He desperately wants to be there for his partner no matter what, but losing either of you would destroy him, and he knows this as a fact.

"What if…what if they think we're not coming" Johnny tightens his hold against Simon’s shirt, "They know that right…they can't think we're abandoning them…they can't."

"We're going to find them Johnny," He promises him, "We're bringing them home" he promises him something he isn't sure if he can keep.

Slowly but surely, they get moved onto the bed, not bothering with removing any layer of clothing. As much as the skin on skin might help, Johnny would still be too out of it. Right now, he needs a steady hand, something to rest against as he cries himself dry.

Simon pulls him against his chest as they lay down, barely even separating at all. Their legs tangling, heartbeats together, Johnny begins to calm down. His sobs become quieter, but the pain in his heart is still at large.

Simon can feel it in his own, from Johnny's, all around them. He doesn't let it be known, nor does he do it loud, but a few tears escape from the corner of his eyes, falling down his cheeks. It makes him hug Johnny tighter, to keep the one thing he still has left close in his arms, because if he lets this go now, he will truly be lost.

Crack

Johnny winces as he hears another finger snap, watching it bend the wrong way and eliciting another broken scream from the guy in the chair.

They've been at it for an hour by now, the fifth guy they've managed to bring in this week alone. It didn't take long before they started finding potential leads of your whereabouts, bringing in blokes who might have even the tiniest clue.

Price was technically supposed to be here as well but had conveniently left them alone with the poor guy, for better or for worse. It was one thing Price knew he could do nothing about, if he didn't help the two bring them in, they'd do it on their own anyway and with a much higher chance at getting themselves killed before they even find you.

Another crack and pop.

Johnny lets out a sigh as he watches his partner interrogate the terrified fella. It almost looked intimate, with how close Simon was in the guy’s face, tapping his hands over the man's hands before snapping another finger. Fortunately, Johnny did know better than that, there was nothing intimate about this, the things said in low threatening voices were things whispered with pure malice, a promise of revenge against the people that took their love.

He was getting a bit dejected however, this guy’s wasn't the first and certainly wouldn't be the last. They hadn't found a single thing about your location; they had a slight idea of the people that took you, but it didn't add up with other evidence they had. Every new thing they learned was either a lie or well-orchestrated plan, something that put them back to square one.

"No no no! Not that anything but that!" The man screamed trying to squirm away from Simon. There had always been something terrifying about the way Simon did his work in here, it made Johnny incredibly grateful to be on the same side as him, to not be the guy in the chair on the receiving end of all that.

"Johnny, do you mind?"

"Not at all LT" There was a certain venom in both of their voices, a danger whispered into the chords. It made them move as one, the same thoughts flowing through two brains almost like telepathy, one goal in mind.

Johnny moved over to the steel table, moving a bloodied wrench out of the way. He pitied whoever was going to clean this up, because it likely wasn't going to be them. They were still counting that this guy had some sort of information. In truth he did give them all sorts of info that they will catalogue and report later, but nothing about you.

He picks up the jumper cables and moves it all closer, onto the tray with squeaky wheels that Price promised to get changed months ago. He looks at the skull mask that’s now faced towards him, he sees behind it, the brown eyes a little duller and not as full of life.

He knows that Simon could go all night if it meant that he would finally get your location, but he was tired, not just physically but mentally as well. They could both use a break, a long one, the type that could give their very souls the needed rest, but neither of them stopped, it wasn't an option.

Johnny rolled the small table over to Simon, letting him do his thing. He lets out a sigh as he listens to the pathetic pleading from the guy in the chair as Simon hovers the cables near his crotch. With a heavy sigh Johnny excuses himself, having had enough of the whining and moaning, and feeling a headache come on.

He closes the door behind him to the room just in time, the muffled screaming from inside combined with Simon's incessant yelling quickly drowned out. He feels the cold breeze on his face, letting the feeling of fresh air fall over him. The warm stench that always got into a room during the torture finally washing away from his nostrils.

It's cold out, he notices as he feels the goosebumps ride up his arms. If you were here, you'd be chewing him out about going outside without a jacket, telling him that he can't get a cold, because if he gets a cold then you'll get a cold, and you really don't want to be sick. He'd ruffle your hair, much to your annoyance, and tell you that he wouldn't get sick, but of course he would a few days later, and even then, you'd be taking care of him so sweetly, despite complaining before it.

But you aren't here.

He takes a few deep breaths and tries really hard to keep the panic looming in his body concealed. He had to stay tactical, calm, and in control, but they had hit too many dead ends. Their first thought was that they somehow had let you be known to their enemies, and that some had come to take you as leverage but the chilling realization that nobody they had tried knew anything about you became an uncomfortable itch.

Maybe that was what was the scariest thing about this situation, it having nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.

The moment they get a proper lead on a location is when things start to go fast. Not even 2 hours after the briefing are they on the plane and landing on a base that would be close by the revealed location. It doesn't take a lot of convincing to have Price agree to the mission, perhaps just as eager himself to finally put an end to the madness.

Was it logical? Not all the way, smart? Fuck no, but it was hope, and Price knew at this point that if he didn't find a way to make it happen fast, then Johnny and Simon would just steal a plane and go on their own, Gaz would likely join them too if they asked.

But the fact remained, someone had finally cracked, who it was, Simon barely even remembers. The past week or so he's been avoiding thinking about you like were you a vicious disease that spread whenever someone mentioned its name, but now you were the only thing that consumed his thoughts, along with a overwhelming brooding rage.

He's not even sure you're going to be there, a human trafficking ring, their supposed base of operations revealed to them. If it wasn't for the anger boiling in his veins, he'd feel sick upon learning the knowledge of all the kidnappings that had been happening in your area.

You hadn't ever said anything, but he didn't doubt that you knew, you just also knew that they would worry too much and wouldn't go do their jobs if they knew. He wants to scream at himself, yell at a mirror for being so stupid and careless, if he had just stayed up to date then maybe he could've prevented all of this.

You might still be at home, waiting for them to join you in bed, the three of you cuddling together in your favorite position. If only he could go back and change his mistake. He knows he can't, he knows he can't change what he did or didn't do, but he will correct it now, and get you back in their arms.

The place is massive, but he barely even registers it, nothing feels real as he pursues anything and everything that could lead his way to you. He's mauling people down with scary precision, unleashing his rage on them while somehow still keeping them covert. He can feel that Johnny is behind him, watching his back, but he never actually turns around to confirm.

They've passed several rooms, or cells more like with plenty of victims, but none of them had you among them. After securing the victims safety, they left it to the other soldiers behind them to get them out of there while they continue to comb through the building.

Johnny starts losing hope once they've nearly been everywhere, all enemies neutralized, and victims secured. Though they have a few rooms left, they've seen no sign of you or anything that might've belonged to you.

And of course, that's when it happens, when they turn the handle on the last door, the last of their hope almost extinguishing, only to spike in their throats from the scene revealed to them.

The room is bigger than expected, at first hand it seemed more or less like another one of the rooms they kept their poor victims holed up in, but there was only one person in there. A body in the corner, naked, bruised, dirty, with unmistakable features that they used to caress at night within the safety of their own bed.

Once again Johnny feels sick, almost bends forward to wretch everything up right then and there as well but he has to keep it together. He wants to scream and cry, rip the person who did this to shreds, but it's likely Simon already did that unknowingly out there.

His partner doesn't stand frozen beside him for long, but likely going through a similar round of emotional turmoil. They both sprint to your side, trying to check your state both for injuries and your awareness.

Cuts and scrapes litter your body like a fucked-up pattern, your naked skin covered in dirt, dust and perhaps even mud. Your eyes are barely open, void and tired, they can practically see the redness and the crust from your crying stained onto your face.

Johnny smoothes a hand over your thigh to check a wound but flinches away when he hears you whimper. They feel a crack in their hearts as they watch you spur a little to life, pathetically trying to inch away from them but having no more energy to do so.

"No no…Sweetheart it's okay…it's us" Johnny tries to be soothing, not forcing touch on you but still trying to guide your vision in his direction. He almost can't bear to look at what they've done to you, inhumane things and then just to leave you here in a room by yourself.

When your eyes finally meet his, he chokes back on a wretched noise, your terrified look is something he never wants to see directed at him or Simon. Not from you. He gently guides you hand up to his hair, in the moment he doesn't care about the blood or the dirt, all he wants to do is remind you. He helps your fingers tangle through like you've done so many times before, hoping to kickstart your memory.

At first, you're stiff, unwilling, but slowly your hands start squeezing at his hair out of your own volition. A little more clarity in your eyes as you choke out his name, and when he hears he nods rapidly. His hold on your hand tightening as he looks down at you with tears in his eyes.

He wants to hold you, crush you against him, but he knows he has to be careful. Along with your visible injuries, they have no idea if you have broken bones or worse going on inside. "Yes, love…it's me….we're here…we found you…" he nods and brings your weak hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently.

They have to move you, and get you out of here with the rest, but Simon is afraid to touch. Scared that one motion from him could make everything infinitely worse. He's been sitting paralyzed next to Johnny and you, watching as Johnny brings part of you back to reality instead of the mental prison you've no doubt locked yourself in.

He looks away from your hand and back to your face, almost horrified to see that you're now staring up at him. He missed you greatly, but right now, he almost can't bear to have you look at him. He reaches his own hand up, wincing when he sees the blood on it but continuing regardless to pull his mask off.

He sees the tears forming in your eyes as you see him again, his hand gently cupping your face and wiping away the falling tears. "It hurts…" you sob quietly, and all Simon can do is nod, because he knows, he knows all too well about the pain you're in.

"I know love…I know…" He lets out a shaky sigh, giving an affirming glance to Johnny before moving around. They need to get going, and they need to get you to safety. He gently hoists you up, tries to not think of your desperate whimpers of both fear and pain.

He holds you close to his chest, Johnny's hands tugging your matted hair away, so it didn't get stuck on any gear. Simon's grip on you is fierce, a grounding touch you've needed for so long, and with Johnny's warm voice softly assuring you, you start to settle away from your panic.

They keep you close the entire time, assuring you, holding you, keeping you tugged away from the gore and the defiling monsters that lay dead on the ground. They keep you close, closer than ever before, and they won't let you go, not again, not ever. They'll carry you through the recovery, they'll get you back on your own feet again, back to yourself again.

They will never let any of this happen again.

#noctmoon fics #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #john price #ghoap #ghost x soap x reader #ghoap x reader #ghost x reader x soap #soap x ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x you #john soap mctavish x you #simon riley x you

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cosmicjoke · 7 months

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So I wanted to just take a moment to elaborate a little more on Levi's leadership during the Battle of Heave and Earth, because I think it's so important to understand just how vital Levi was to that final battle and, ultimately, toward the alliances' victory. Everyone was vital, of course. Everyone contributed in ways indispensable. But I think Levi's role was particularly crucial, and I want to explain why.

They wouldn't have won without Levi.

Full stop. They wouldn't have won.

I spoke before about how so often we've heard criticisms of Levi and his choice to let Erwin die, accusations hurled at him of having "robbed" humanity of the only leader that could save it, and I spoke about how those accusations, in the aftermath of Levi's contribution to that final battle, fall so utterly flat, because Levi became the leader that humanity needed in the moment when it counted most.

Armin was out of commission for most of the final battle. Of course he was doing his own, important work toward ensuring victory by convincing Zeke to stop wallowing in self-pity and actually do something (Zeke gets no credit from me, he let 80% of the population die because he felt sorry for himself). But my point is, Armin, despite being the Commander, wasn't able to lead during most of the battle because he was trapped in the Paths.

Levi took the reigns, then, without even needing to be asked or told. He simply took command, and it was his decision making that lead to their victory.

But before that, he fought alongside all of them as simply another soldier, putting his body and life on the line to take down as many titans as he could in the attempt to clear a path back to Armin. Levi was literally half-dead during this battle. His body was beyond compromised. He was suffering internal bleeding, likely major trauma to his organs, half blind, his dominant hand half-mangled, and later, his leg likely broken and torn apart and open. His ability to fight, and to fight so well and with so much strength, was nothing, then, but pure will on his part. Pure determination and refusal to quit. He never gave up, not once, despite his body needing him to.

When he sees the tied of the battle not going their way, then, a path back to Armin seemingly impossible, he takes charge and calms everyone down, tells everyone to stop and think. When it becomes clear that they won't be able to simply retrieve Armin and win this thing, when it becomes clear that killing Eren is the only way to actual victory, Levi is the first to organize everyone into accepting that bleak and awful reality, and to lay out a plan of attack toward accomplishing it. He breaks their team into two units and instructs them on what to do, one to go after Armin, the other, Eren's neck. This was Levi's plan, Levi's decision, and it's largely why they were able to succeed in their goals.

And then later, when he heartbreakingly thinks of himself as a burden, as someone who will just get in the way, he disproves his own self-criticism by stepping up and once again taking command in what truly was the most critical moment of the battle.

He takes out Zeke, of course, which stops the Rumbling. But then Armin's initial plan, of using the blast from his Colossal Titan transformation to kill Eren, fails, and the worm responsible for Eren's power threatens to reach him and start the Rumbling back up. It begins to release the same gas which Zeke had used on Ragako Village to turn the Eldian's into pure titans, and in that moment, with hundreds of Eldian's on the ground, it would have proven the end of the battle for all of them if Levi hadn't acted as quickly and with as much clarity of thought as he had. They all would have died, and the entire population of the world would have been wiped out.

Nobody else realized what was about to happen to them, too dazed and complacent and stricken with hopelessness, even after Connie posited what the gas could be. Only Levi understood what was about to happen, and only Levi took action in that moment to prevent total disaster. And then, while everyone else is standing around, paralyzed by their horror at the realization of what's happening, overcome with grief and fear, in that moment, Levi didn't hesitate. Like he once told the 104th, if disaster struck right now, he would act faster than any of them, and that's exactly what he did.

He understood the situation within seconds, and understood within seconds what needed to be done to avoid total catastrophe. He understood that he and Mikasa and the titan shifters were the only ones who would be immune to the gas, and so it was up to them to take action and end Eren's life, or all would be lost. He understood in that moment that they would be forced to abandon their family and comrades on the ground, abandon them to their fate of being turned into pure titans, in order to save what remained of the rest of the people trapped down there, and he didn't hesitate. He didn't falter. He pushed aside his own grief and horror, his own driving need to save everyone, in order to save who he could, just like he's always done. He armed himself with their only remaining thunder spear and ordered with commanding force for Mikasa and Pieck to get onto Falco's back, for them to take to the air, because he understood on the ground, they would all die, and if they were to have any chance of victory, they needed to be up high. He was able to ignore their stunned and frozen grief and initial refusal to move and act, and overcome it with his own refusal to give in. He made them act in the moment when it mattered most. And when Mikasa was overcome with grief at what was happening and the prospect of killing Eren, Levi refused to let her lose herself, screaming in her face to get it together, reminding her again and again that only they could stop Eren now, only they could save what was left of humanity.

And finally, with his failing body and waning strength, he fought side by side with Mikasa, battling through what seemed literal hell on earth to give her the opening she needed in order to deliver the killing blow to Eren and end it once and for all.

Mikasa wouldn't have been able to do what she did if not for Levi. If not for Levi's quick thinking, if not for Levi's orders, if not for his command, if not for his battling side by side with her, clearing a path for her. If not for his own sacrifice, giving up everything, having to leave behind the people he loved for people he didn't even know. Levi made that final push toward victory possible.

Levi essentially took over for Erwin when no one else could. He took over for Hange when no one else could. He became the Commander of the Survey Corps in that final battle. He became the one who lead them to victory.

I think understanding that is so important. For anyone who ever tries to accuse Levi of not caring about humanity, or accuse Levi of dooming humanity because he let Erwin die, you're wrong, you're so wrong. Because Levi became every bit the commander Erwin ever was in the moment when it mattered most. He refused to let humanity fall. He lead humanity to victory.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin

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tainsan · 10 months

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misfits VI

⇥ pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

⇥ warnings: nightmares, mentions of suicide, death, anxiety attacks, and violent language.

⇥ word count: 7.4k

⇥ a/n: I got back from vacation so I am very excited to release this chapter! thank you to all of you who have waited patiently for this one <3 I must say that in this chapter there are some very triggering moments, so please read at your own risk. your mental health is more important, please stay safe.

⇢ masterlist ⇠

previous chapter ⇠ ⇢ next chapter...

for my love @l0vetiny

--- THIS IS AN 18+ FANFICTION MINORS DO NOT INTERACT---

Wandering through the dimly lit and eerily quiet hallway, a shiver runs down your spine, goosebumps prickling on your skin. The air feels heavy with memories, and the flickering lights cast eerie shadows on the walls, heightening the sense of unease that settles deep within you.

Continuing forward, the surroundings seem to shift and morph before your eyes. The hallway transforms, becoming all too familiar. The walls close in, and the once-empty space becomes filled with echoes of laughter, tears, and whispers from the past. It's as if the memories have taken on a tangible form, enveloping you in their grip.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you struggle to make sense of the chaotic rush of emotions flooding your mind. The fragments of memories flash before your eyes, disjointed and broken, yet each one carries a weight that tugs at your soul. Images and sensations from the past come rushing back, haunting you with their vividness and intensity. You need to get out of here, now.

The hallway itself becomes a portal to the past, transporting you back to the house that holds both cherished moments and haunting secrets. The familiar decor, the creaking floorboards, the scent of recognizable perfume lingering in the air; all of it contributes to the overwhelming flood of emotions that threaten to destroy you.

Fear grips you, urging you to flee, to escape the clutches of this haunting place. Every fibre of your being screams at you to turn back, to run as fast as you can, and leave this darkness behind. But despite your desperate attempts to resist, your body seems to move of its own accord, almost as if it's being drawn deeper into the depths of the memories that refuse to be forgotten. The journey through this haunting corridor forces you to confront the ghosts of your past, to face the demons that have haunted you for years.

‘Stop, what are you doing’ Your protests fade away as you persist to walk more into the house, you recognise your steps and when you reach a certain door, your heart stops, your entire body going ice cold as you realise, you’re not here, you’re just reliving a memory. A memory you’ve been desperately running from for years.

Every nerve in your being ignites with fear, your body on fire as you desperately try to turn away. The overwhelming surge of emotions becomes unbearable, your eyes stinging and your heart racing. Trembling and filled with panic, you long to escape the haunting corridor that threatens to eat you alive. The weight of the moment hangs heavy, as you gather your strength and resolve to confront the darkness.

Watching as your hand reaches for the handle to the wooden door, you feel your entire body shaking as you still shriek in your mind to take you out of this nightmare. You pray, to anyone and anything that you will be torn away from this horrific place.

As the door creaks open, a suffocating wave of devastation washes over you, threatening to shatter the fragile pieces of your already broken soul. The sight that greets your eyes is agonizing. The lifeless body, once vibrant and full of life, now splayed across the cold, unforgiving floor. The weight of grief settles heavily upon your chest, constricting your breath and causing your heart to ache with searing pain. The scene is scattered by empty medicine capsules spread across the dark wood surface, silent witnesses to the desperation that consumed your mother's final moments. Every inch of your being yearns to rush towards her, to reach out and somehow reverse the irreversible, but an invisible force keeps you rooted in place, a helpless spectator to this heart-wrenching tragedy.

Time seems to warp and bend as you remain frozen, trapped in the nightmare that plays out before your eyes. The desire to touch her, to hold her once more, is an unbearable ache coursing through your veins. But before your trembling fingers can graze her lifeless form, the cruel grip of reality tears you away from the harrowing scene, your anguished scream echoing through the air, a desperate plea to escape the horrors that haunt your waking moments.

Your body jolts upright, propelled by an overwhelming surge of adrenaline. Gasping for air, each breath feels jagged and strained, a desperate attempt to fill your lungs with oxygen. The taste of salt lingers on your lips as hot tears stream down your cheeks, tracing a path of agony. Your entire being quivers with a raw intensity, as if electricity courses through your veins, setting your nerves ablaze. The need for escape overwhelms you, urging you to flee the confines of your bedroom. Hastily, you propel yourself forward, your steps hurried and unsteady, driven by a desperate desire for fresh air. The world blurs around you as your feet propel you towards the door, craving the relief that lies beyond it.

Disregarding your appearance, clothed in nothing but your sleeping shorts and an oversized t-shirt, you stumble through the house in a frantic haze. The urgency to escape grips you aggressively, destroying any concern for disturbing your roommates in your wake. Each footstep is irregular, pushed by an overwhelming need to escape from the suffocating hold of your mind.

The memory hooks into your brain, a relentless torment that attempts to consume you once more. Despite your relentless efforts to suppress it, the nightmare persists, resurfacing with a haunting insistence. Weeks, months, and years of painstakingly building a fortress of forgetfulness crumble before your eyes. The memory's grip tightens, triggering a heavy downpour of emotions, drowning your fragile stability.

Your legs tremble beneath you, weakened by the weight of the anguish you bear. Progress towards the door is a gruelling endeavour, each step a battle against the trembling weakness that permeates your being. But before you can reach the refuge of the exit, your body resists, collapsing onto the floor of the hallway. Your tears constantly flow, soaking your trembling hands as your shattered being struggles to comprehend the crushing wave of emotions that consume you. Time becomes distorted, seconds stretching into agonizing hours as you surrender to the merciless grip of your despair.

In a state of panic, your senses spin and blur, disorienting your vision as you struggle to fixate on the door just a few meters away. Yet, the world seems to be against you, distorting and contorting, morphing the once familiar threshold into an obscure target that mocks your desperate reach. The room, once spacious, now closes in around you, suffocating you in its overwhelming grip.

Desperation grips your throat, and you gather every ounce of strength to scream for help, to summon anyone who might ease your torment. But the sound that emerges is weak, a mere particle of a whisper lost in the turbulent commotion of your mind.

As the world blurs and fades, your senses dulled by the overwhelming surge of anxiety, you remain oblivious to the sudden presence at your side. It is only when strong arms envelop your trembling frame, engulfing you in a secure embrace, that you become aware of another person by your side.

The comforting presence guides you gently, repositioning your body between their legs, offering a supportive cradle. Your cheek finds solace against their chest, feeling the steady rhythm of their heartbeat against your skin. They begin to rub your back in soothing motions, tracing slow circles that provide a sense of grounding and reassurance. The legs of the protective figure form a defensive barrier around you, providing a sense of safety amid the mayhem. It is here when you can smell a vaguely familiar scent, and you cannot quite discern where you have smelt it before. It is when the figure's voice reaches your ears, and at that moment, the familiarity of the scent that fills the air clicks into place. It is the same scent that lingers on your sheets, the scent that belongs to their owner. The realization floods your senses, connecting the dots between the fragrance and the person residing near you.

“___? It’s Mingi,” the man speaks, with genuine concern etched across his face. Mingi, who is holding you tight desperately tries to redirect your focus, his intent gaze fixated on your trembling form. Mingi tries to grasp your attention, hoping to draw you away from the whirlwind of thoughts that torment your mind. In a voice laced with both urgency and tenderness, he calls out to you once more, his words filled with a mix of anxiety and aching compassion. The sound of his voice cuts through the haze that clouds your senses, breaking through the chaos and reaching for the fragile connection within you. Yet, your breaths remain erratic and unsteady, leaving their heartfelt call unanswered.

“___, listen to me, you’re okay. You are safe, come back to me. You’re safe.”

He notices your shaking slows down and he realises he’s found a small part of you holding on. Gently placing a hand on your cheek that isn’t facing him, he pulls you further into his chest, resting your ear over his heart.

“Listen to my heart, just focus on the sound, okay? You’re doing so well.” The beat of his steady heart reaches your ears and your entire being grasps the sound, the calming rhythm helping still the rising storm swirling inside of you.

Mingi's arms envelop your trembling frame, providing a secure embrace that anchors you during the cyclone of emotions. He holds you tenderly, swaying gently back and forth as if trying to lull away the distress that weighs heavily on you. Amidst the madness of your inner instability, you suddenly become aware of a soft melody coming from Mingi's lips. The song is unfamiliar, yet its delicate notes and the resonance of his baritone voice manage to soothe your soul. The vibrations of his singing gently slice through the tight knots of anxiety constricting your throat, gradually easing their grip on you. Time seems to blur as the minutes tick by, the sound of his voice providing a lifeline of stability. As the minutes stretch into what feels like hours, you gradually regain control of your breath, your inhales and exhales finding a steadier rhythm.

Though your tears still prick at your eyes, slipping down your cheeks occasionally, the storm within you begins to subside, leaving behind a lingering sense of vulnerability. Mingi remains devoted to your side, his comforting presence offering a glimmer of hope in the aftermath of the emotional tempest.

As the weight of your sorrow begins to ease, you can physically feel Mingi's body relaxing against yours, his tense muscles gradually unwinding like a tightly coiled spring. It's as if his form moulds effortlessly to fit against your side, providing a comforting embrace that shields you from your feelings raging within.

The warmth of Mingi's breath, steady and soothing, gently caresses the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in its wake. Each deliberate inhale and exhale serves as a grounding rhythm, anchoring him in the present moment.

As you begin to stir, indicating your readiness to move, a subtle shift in Mingi's demeanour becomes evident. His heightened awareness brings him to become conscious of the intimate position the two of you find yourselves in. With utmost caution and respect, he lifts his head ever so slowly, ensuring no sudden movements that could potentially trigger any lingering distress within you. While he subtly withdraws from the immediate proximity, his arm remains lightly draped around your waist, offering a gentle source of reassurance and support.

Turning your head at a slow pace, your gaze aligns with Mingi's, and in that fleeting moment, a pang of guilt tugs at your heart. The weight of your emotions mingles with the realization that he has been a steadfast presence throughout, a pillar of strength and compassion, offering unwavering support and comfort in your most vulnerable moments. The gratitude you feel is profound, yet so too is the underlying concern that you may be burdening him with your troubles.

“I’m so sorry Mingi, did I wake you up?” You look away from him, your body starting to shake with faint embarrassment. Noticing how fragile your emotions are right now, he is quick to comfort you and put your mind at ease.

“You didn’t don’t worry; I was in the living room when I thought I heard a scream,” Mingi responds, his hand unconsciously moving up and down your back again.

“What are you doing up so late?” You ask, confused as to why any of the boys would be awake this late. It must be past three or four in the morning.

“I got a burst of creativity, it’s hard to sleep if I don’t get it all out.” Mingi looks down, looking somewhat flustered. Looking up, he sees the confusion covering your features. “I was writing some kind of song thing.”

Your eyes widen as you realise what he meant, and you become ever so curious about his creativity.

“I didn’t know you wrote songs,” your voice is soft yet the glimpse of admiration in your tone is picked up by Mingi and he can’t help but smile and feel the heat rise to his cheeks.

“It’s kind of what I’m studying, writing songs is my thing,” Mingi grins as he teases you slightly for not knowing his major.

“Really? Maybe I should actually get to know you guys better,” You mumble to yourself wiping away your stray tears, once again not knowing something that is common knowledge to everyone.

“What has you so shaken up?” Mingi’s voice is so soft you wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t right next to you.

Mingi observes your reluctance to discuss the terrifying nightmare that just unfolded, and he instinctively knows that pushing you to open up would do more harm than good. Understanding the rawness of the images still haunting your mind, he respects your need for time and space. As your body continues to tremble with residual fear, Mingi quietly rises to his feet, bringing you up with him, his arm securely wrapped around your waist. He can feel your unsteady steps, and a protective instinct kicks in. Pausing for a moment, he contemplates the best course of action, realizing that ensuring your safety and comfort is his top priority.

“I am going to lift you to your room, is that okay?” Mingi questions, his eyes not leaving yours.

As the realization dawns upon you that Mingi's intention is solely to offer his support and assistance, your initial hesitation begins to dissipate. Blushing with a mix of gratitude and self-consciousness, you understand that your vulnerability at this moment demands you to accept his help. Although the idea of relying on someone else makes you slightly uncomfortable, you recognize that your current state leaves you incapable of aiding yourself.

Suppressing your embarrassment, you offer Mingi a shy nod, silently conveying your permission for him to assist you further. Mingi bends down to snake one of his arms under your legs and one around your back. Lifting your body into bridal style, Mingi holds you close to his chest, almost cradling your limp body. As Mingi supports you in his arms, a surge of emotions sweeps through him, overwhelming his senses. The weight of your body against his chest creates an intimate connection that he has longed for but never imagined would happen under these circumstances. He feels a sense of bliss as if time has momentarily paused to grant him this precious moment. The touch of your skin against his, the rise and fall of your breath against his chest, all serve as a bittersweet reminder of the vulnerability and trust you have placed in him.

His grip tightens ever so slightly, instinctively wanting to shield you from any harm or discomfort that may still linger within your fragile state. Mingi's heart swells with a mix of tenderness and protectiveness, a deep sense of responsibility to provide comfort and reassurance.

Resting your head against Mingi’s broad shoulder, you close your eyes, recognising the route of the man heading towards your room. Luckily, during your expedition to leave the house, you left the door of your bedroom open slightly, allowing Mingi to easily push it open with his back and walk towards your dishevelled bed. It is here where Mingi realises you must have had a nightmare; a soft concern lingers in his eyes. He knows that words alone may not be enough to ease the lingering distress from your nightmare. Although he knows not to pry, he wishes you would tell him the details of your bad dream, so he can offer support in the knowledge that you are safe in his presence and that of his brothers.

With a soft smile, Mingi pauses in his steps, his hand resting on the doorknob. He turns around, his eyes meeting yours, and he immediately understands your silent plea.

“Don’t worry, love, I’ll be right back. Give me a second.” Mingi reassures you before leaving out the door at a fast pace. If you weren’t so shaken up and exhausted the nickname would have processed in your mind completely differently to how it does at this moment.

It takes about twenty seconds for Mingi to return to your bedroom, this time in his hand he has his phone and a pair of wired headphones. You aren’t able to do anything but lay tucked in your sheets, you result to just watching him as he comes closer to the edge of your bed.

Without hesitation, he moves back towards your bed, taking a seat on the floor, in front of you. He reaches out and gently brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch tender and comforting. Mingi's presence alone brings a sense of security, and you feel a wave of relief wash over you. You're grateful for his understanding and willingness to provide the comfort you so desperately need at this moment.

Mingi looks up at you and smiles warmly, causing the sharp edge of your nerves to soften. With his face only a few inches away from yours, your heartbeat increases but this time it’s not due to a damaging emotion. Resting his hand on your head, he tenderly strokes your unkempt hair from your face before retracting and placing it back on his lap, much to your dismay.

“Would you like to hear one of my projects?” Mingi’s voice is barely above a whisper.

Exhausted and unable to muster coherent words, you offer a nod, signalling your readiness to delve into the unknown world of Mingi's music. A smile dances across his face as he places one headphone in your ear and the other in his, creating a shared soundscape that bridges the gap between you. With anticipation, you watch as Mingi skilfully navigates his playlist, his fingers gliding over the screen in search of the perfect track.

Untitled songs and cryptic titles catch your eye, piquing your curiosity about the untold stories behind them. As he presses play, a gentle beat emanates from the earphone, gradually filling the space around you. The strumming of a guitar resonates through the air, accompanied by an evolving symphony of instruments, and sounds that seamlessly intertwine. Mingi's deep voice emerges, rapping softly with a tone and tempo that seems tailor-made for your ears. It's a mesmerizing blend that tickles a part of your brain. The lyrics, though tinged with sorrow, embrace your spirit, offering a comforting hold that lets you know you are heard and seen.

As the music envelopes you, the weight of exhaustion appears, causing your eyelids to grow heavy. Your body surrenders to the soothing soundscape, and relaxation invades every inch of your being. Drifting into a peaceful slumber, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. Just as you slip into the realm of dreams, a familiar resonance catches your ear, triggering goosebumps that ripple across your skin.

A particular lyric rises from the music, echoing deeply within you. Its significance is palpable, evoking emotions that are difficult to put into words. In this ethereal moment, the power of music intertwines with your being, leaving an indelible mark on your soul.

‘Passion, young, fever.’

There’s no way you heard that right. Right?

---

Excitement bubbles within you as you make your way towards the kitchen, fully expecting to find Hongjoong waiting for you there. Several days ago, he had kindly offered to accompany you to the bustling department store in the city, assisting you in finding new items to decorate your room with. It is a leisurely Saturday, devoid of any pressing lessons or assignments, you relish in the prospect of a full day dedicated to exploring and shopping. Your intentions extend beyond room decor, as you've also set your sights on replenishing your wardrobe. The few outfits you currently possess, remnants of what survived the fire, have become repetitive and mundane. You feel it's time for a refreshing upgrade. Originally, you had planned to limit your purchases to decorative items and undergarments, the latter of which you're determined to buy discreetly, without Hongjoong's presence. If necessary, you'll insist that he waits outside the store, ensuring your privacy.

The unexpected windfall of funds, received as compensation from your previous landlords for the damages incurred during the fire, has granted you a sense of financial freedom. The amount exceeded your initial expectations, as you had prepared yourself for the daunting task of covering expenses such as finding a new place to live, purchasing furniture, and replacing schoolbooks. Fortunately, the boys had already taken care of these necessities, ensuring a smooth transition when you moved in with them.

As you enter the kitchen, you find Hongjoong seated at the table, engaged in conversation with Jongho and Mingi, the latter with his back turned towards you. Instantly, memories from the previous week flood your mind, causing a sudden wave of flustered emotions. You feel unsure about how to approach and express gratitude to Mingi for his assistance during your anxiety attack. Ignoring the situation is not an option, as it would be unfair to dismiss his support. However, you hesitate, dreading the possibility of him inquiring about the cause of your distress, as it would require delving into your deep history of trauma.

Upon waking up that morning, you noticed Mingi's absence, briefly wondering if the entire incident had been a vivid dream. The sight of a slightly dishevelled pillow on the floor, evidence of someone's presence, reassures you that it did happen. You hope Mingi didn't spend too much time awake, as you also wished for him to get some rest. Another lingering thought occupying your mind is the song Mingi played for you a few days ago. Although it sounded unfamiliar, there was an uncanny familiarity in the lyrics that troubled you. You briefly entertained a theory of where you might have heard it before, but the thought swiftly slipped away, dismissed as a mere coincidence that didn't quite add up, it could not be them.

Since then, you've intentionally started leaving the house earlier, trying to avoid Mingi's presence, only interacting with him during dinner time. He is well aware of your embarrassment, yet it doesn't diminish his disappointment at the fact that you've been actively avoiding him.

As you draw nearer to the kitchen, you realize that the conversation among the three men is unusually deep, and intense. Hongjoong's furrowed brow and hushed tone suggest a level of seriousness they wish to keep private. Not wanting to interrupt their discussion, you take a step back, planning to return in a few minutes. Despite their efforts to keep their voices low, you manage to catch snippets of their conversation, and the few words you hear leave you slightly alarmed.

“I don’t think she needs to know so soon,” Jongho says.

You halt in your tracks, confused. Are they talking about you?

“I think she does, I can’t hide it from her much longer.” Mingi’s deep voice is recognisable.

“When should we ask her…”

“It just depends on the timing okay; we will let her know the proposition when necessary.”

Reluctant to continue eavesdropping, you scold yourself for unintentionally intruding on their private conversation. A wave of guilt washes over you, as you recognize that listening in on their discussion is unfair to their trust. However, curiosity chews at you, urging you to find out what they could be talking about. If the conversation revolves around you, what proposition or topic could they be considering? Should you step out from behind the corner and confront them? You know it would be the right thing to do, respecting their privacy, but an inexplicable force seems to hold you back, trapping you in your position. The desire to satisfy your curiosity becomes overwhelming, rendering you unable to move or tear yourself away from their secretive conversation.

“Why are you standing here?” A voice sounds from behind you, startling you immensely. Letting out a sound of surprise, you quickly cover your mouth in hopes that the three men at the kitchen island didn’t hear you.

As you turn around, your eyes lock on Seonghwa, leaning casually against the doorframe of his bedroom. A mischievous grin adorns his face, and you can't help but be captivated by his presence. Dressed in simple, yet stylish, black jeans and an oversized grey sweater, he exudes an effortless charm that makes it difficult to divert your gaze. Your eyes wander up and down his figure, unable to resist the appeal he radiates. A surge of pride fills Seonghwa's chest as he observes your admiration. He takes confident strides towards you, closing the distance until he stands a mere foot away. Bending down to meet your eye level, his face hovers just inches from yours. Your mind races, urging your body to create some distance, but you find yourself rooted in place, unable to budge as his magnetic presence envelops you.

“Like what you see?” He questions, your heart almost jumping out of your chest.

You are surprised at his flirtatious behaviour, not quite used to it coming from Seonghwa. Only having seen him as a gentle sweetheart, seeing him act so flirty makes your heart pound dreadfully fast.

Finally, you can convince your body to move away from Seonghwa’s hard stare and into the kitchen where you almost forget the three other men. You expected to see Jongho after seeing him every morning on the island, munching on the same food as usual.

“Hey, ___, You’re up early. Are you okay?” Jongho questions, wondering why you seem so shaken up and flustered. Hoping it wasn’t due to you potentially listening into the conversation between him and his friends. When he sees Seonghwa trailing behind your tense body, a smug grin covering his face, he thinks he understands why it is you’re so frazzled.

You manage to nod at him slightly, throwing a nervous smile in his direction before heading to the fridge to grab something small to eat before your day starts.

Behind you, Jongho sends a confused look in Seonghwa’s direction, causing the older man to just shrug amusedly as he makes his way to the coffee machine at the counter.

Balancing your bowl of leftover fruit salad in one hand, you make your way towards the spacious kitchen island. The morning light spills in through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. As you approach, you grab a fork from a nearby drawer, your familiarity with the kitchen growing with each passing day. Though you've become well-acquainted with the location of most utensils, there are still a few items that escape your memory, like the damn blender. You can't help but recall the comical scene from yesterday when you frantically searched through every cupboard in a desperate quest to find the blender. Jongho, finding amusement in your difficulty, watched with an entertained grin as you scoured the kitchen. Finally locating the appliance, you playfully shot him a glare, feigning annoyance at his refusal to help in your blender-seeking escapade.

Settling into the seat next to Mingi, you steal a glance at him, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt wash over you. His broad figure turns towards you, his lips curving into a genuine, warm smile. The sight tugs at your heartstrings. You can't help but feel apologetic for avoiding him in the past few days, but seeing his forgiving expression reassures you that he doesn't harbour any ill feelings towards you.

“How did you sleep?” Mingi asks, his voice soft and tender, his smile contagious.

“I slept pretty well,” you process the next words in your head, not sure how to say them, “Thank you Mingi.” You reply, your voice full of gratitude, the smile on Mingi’s face turns thankful as he understands the undertone of your words, knowing you weren’t just thanking him for asking how you slept, but for the help, he gave you not too long ago. Heart filling with happiness, he decides to just smile warmly at you, hoping his unsaid words speak from his expression.

Hongjoong's perceptive gaze shifts back and forth between the two of you, and he can sense the unspoken connection woven within the shared silence. A knowing smile graces his lips, recognizing the softness and affection in your eyes as they rest upon Mingi. At that moment, he envisions a future where you would gaze at him with the same tender expression, his heart warming at the mere possibility.

“What are your plans today?” Jongho’s voice breaks apart the silence, his question not specifically pointed towards anyone, yet wanting your answer the most.

“Hongjoong and I are going to the furniture store and then the shopping mall, right?” You look towards Hongjoong, silently asking him to confirm your statement.

Hongjoong nods gently at you, before taking a sip of the coffee in front of him. Smiling, you look back at Jongho and reciprocate the question, curious as to what the notorious members of Ateez get up to during the weekend.

“I’ve got some errands to run, then San and I are going to this cat café in the city,” Jongho replies, his answer shocking you. Definitely not expecting such activity from such tough presenting guys.

Seonghwa sees the shocked look on your face and lets out a small laugh before speaking, “They’ve been wanting a pet cat for ages, but Hongjoong’s mom just won’t allow it, so this is the closest they can get to having one.”

Amidst the shared laughter, you find yourself joining in as Jongho pulls off the most adorable pouty expression. The infectious joy fills the room, and even Hongjoong and Mingi can't help but chuckle at the sight. Jongho playfully directs a mocking glare towards Hongjoong, as if blaming him for the fact that he can't have a pet cat, adding a touch of playful banter to the light-hearted moment.

“Hey, don’t blame me, blame yourselves. My mom hasn’t been able to take you guys seriously after Wooyoung and San brought a raccoon home and said it was the new housemate.” Hongjoong states as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Your mind races with a mix of shock and amusement as you try to wrap your head around the idea of them abducting a raccoon. It's a scenario that never even crossed your wildest imagination. It sparks a flow of thoughts, making you wonder about all the bizarre and hilarious situations that may have unfolded within the walls of this house. The thought of their antics and misadventures brings a smile to your face, imagining the unconventional and unpredictable moments that have likely taken place in this house.

“It was one time.” San appears from the entrance nearest to the staircase, a pout on his face.

“One time too many, I found the damn raccoon under my bed one time, I thought it was a fucking monster coming to get me,” Seonghwa adds to the conversation, causing laughter to erupt around the room.

“We are not getting a cat, San, I’m sorry,” Hongjoong states, sending an apologetic look in his direction. San crosses his arms, a pout still on his face, causing him to look awfully like a toddler being told they can’t have more candy.

“It’s okay, we have a cute kitty right here,” Jongho says smirking slightly, looking in your direction. The meaning behind his words causes a violent blush to creep up your neck, your entire body heating up.

Mingi's deep chuckle resonates in the air as he playfully pats your head, his gentle touch providing reassurance that the comment was simply a tease. However, a lingering feeling remains, suggesting that Mingi might be in on the playful banter as well. It's a strange but intriguing sensation to be flirted with by someone other than Wooyoung, and you can't help but feel a slight flutter in your heart. At the same time, the thought of all eight of them showering you with attention feels overwhelming. Your heart ponders how it would handle such affection from each of them, unsure if it could bear the weight of their collective charm.

“Okay guys, chill out,” Seonghwa speaks out laughing gently, noticing the flustered look on your features, realising the attention is making you feel slightly anxious. Nodding gently at Seonghwa as a means to thank him, he smiles lightly at you.

A symphony of hurried footsteps echoes through the house, originating from the upper floor and cascading down the staircase. As you turn your gaze towards the source of the commotion, you're met with a heartwarming sight. The three missing individuals, who had been absent from the kitchen until now, have finally made their appearance. It dawns on you that this is a rare occurrence, as it has been quite some time since everyone has been gathered in the kitchen at such an early hour.

“Joong, what did you want to talk about?” Yeosang asks as he walks into the room, not noticing you sitting at the island.

“Oh, it was nothing, forget it,” Hongjoong says, desperately attempting to keep the suspicion low, knowing Yeosang doesn’t see you sitting next to Mingi.

“It sounded pretty urgent,” Wooyoung states, following after Yeosang, yet he suddenly understands the situation when he sees you sitting watching the event unfold, with a clear confused look covering your features. The gravity of the moment becomes apparent as you realise the rarity of such a complete gathering. There must be something important unfolding, something that has brought them all together at this early hour. As Yeosang makes it to the counter, he realises you are sitting there, and his face contorts into an expression of realisation and humiliation.

“Hey, muffin.” Wooyoung manages to get out, before cursing at himself for somewhat revealing the meeting the eight were supposed to discreetly have before you awaken.

Yeosang and Yunho come into your line of sight, and you offer them a warm smile, taking a moment to observe Yunho's behaviour. Surprisingly, he returns your smile with one of his own, genuine, and soft. The exchange doesn't go unnoticed by the other members gathered around the island, and you can feel a slight commotion in your stomach as your body warms up. It's a pleasant surprise to witness Yunho's genuine smile, something you haven't seen before.

However, you soon realize that they want to discuss something in private, perhaps a topic that is better suited for their long-standing friendship. Although a bit disappointed, you understand the need for them to have their own space and conversation, possibly involving "boy stuff." Respecting their privacy, you decide to step back and give them the confidentiality they require.

“Uh…I better go brush my teeth,” you exclaim, standing up from your seat and straightening your pant legs with your hands, making up an excuse to leave.

Making your way to your bedroom, you stop when you hear Hongjoong speak to you. “Just find me when you’re ready, we can leave whenever.” Nodding your head, you smile at all of the men in the kitchen, before heading into your room to stall for as long as you need.

As the door to your room closes, an expectant silence settles among the eight of them. They exchange glances, giving each other a nod, and then the conversation begins to flow.

“You guys need to read the room better, holy shit,” Jongho says when he is sure you’re out of earshot. He doesn’t believe you would be one to eavesdrop knowing it’s an important meeting between him and his friends.

“Okay, how were we supposed to see Tiny when she was hidden behind Mingi’s big ass?” Wooyoung says rolling his eyes as he takes a seat next to where San is standing. San rests an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders looking down at the shorter male.

“You could’ve at least waited until we were sure she wasn’t here,” San suggests softly, not wanting to annoy the man further. Wooyoung grumbles a ‘whatever’, before paying attention to what Seonghwa is saying.

“Finally decided to open up that ice-cold heart, Yuyu?” Seonghwa questions the black-haired male sitting next to him, a knowing grin plastered on his features.

“I’ll kill you, shut up.” Yunho deadpans, not even looking in his direction, wanting to ignore his friends’ questions, knowing they are curious as to why he is so tame towards you all of a sudden.

“I’m older than you, watch it,” Seonghwa states, pointing a finger in Yunho’s direction, in which Yunho makes a mocking face, sticking his tongue out at Seonghwa.

“We can talk about it another time, okay? I need you guys to focus for a second.” Hongjoong speaks up, causing the seven around him to immediately listen to his words with full concentration. “I have some bad news, but I need you guys to stay calm for me, can you do that?”

Confused looks are shared from around the room, wondering what is so serious that Hongjoong had to warn them to control their emotions. Their captain continues speaking, “I heard from Bumjoong that Ryu may be here, visiting.”

The room grows heavy with tension as the atmosphere becomes charged with anger. Harsh intakes of breath echo through the space, a collective reaction to the weight of the situation at hand.

All eyes are directed towards Yunho and Yeosang, knowing the emotional chaos they have experienced due to Ryu was severe, and understanding the deep wounds may still linger within them. The intensity of their past struggles hangs in the air, casting a shadow over the room and amplifying the gravity of the moment. The others hold their breath, silently pleading for restraint and understanding, hoping that the conversation can navigate the difficult territory without causing further pain. The shared glances exchanged among them serve as a silent reminder of the delicate balance they must maintain.

“I already knew, it’s okay,” Yunho admits, anger evident in his body yet not as bad as it would be if he had just found out. He just hopes that Yeosang will take the news well.

“How come I didn’t know about this?” Yeosang’s voice has traces of anger and sadness and Hongjoong feels bad for not telling his younger friend sooner.

“We just found out, we immediately wanted to make a meeting so you can all hear it at the same time.”

Yeosang's heart sinks as he realizes the reason he was kept in the dark about the situation, knowing he was never as close to Bumjoong as the three others. Though the knowledge stings, he finds peace in the understanding that they wanted to share the news with everyone together. The initial anger he felt towards his friends starts to fade, replaced by a subtle realization and a growing empathy. He comprehends the complexity of their decision, recognizing the intention behind it and the desire to ensure that no one was left out or burdened with the weight of the information alone.

“We don’t know if it is her, or what her intentions could be, but we don’t want to take any chances or risks.” Hongjoong pauses to take a breath, “We have to stay distant from ___, just until we know that Ryu is no longer here.”

“Distant? Why would we stay distant? We have to protect her from Ryu.” San exclaims his voice getting louder, worried at what might happen if Ryu finds out about you.

“If Ryu doesn’t know who ___ is, then there is no chance of her getting hurt,” Hongjoong states, his voice staying the same level, recognition goes around the room as they realise, he has a point.

“But what if she finds out? What happens to ___ if Ryu finds out about her?” Yeosang asks, his voice venomous, causing shivers to go down Mingi and Jongho’s spines, still not used to the harsh tone of their friend.

“Then we have to hope that she doesn’t destroy her like she did us.” Hongjoong exhales, knowing the gravity of the situation.

“Come on, Joong. The second Ryu finds out about ___, it would be over for her, the least we can do is plan for if it happens.” Mingi says, anxiety bubbling in his throat, concerned immensely for you.

“I haven’t thought of one yet, but I will, okay?” Hongjoong replies, trying his hardest to calm the men in front of him whilst also fighting his own worries deep in his mind.

“Have you even started thinking a plan through? What is she going to think when we all of a sudden start ignoring and distancing from her?” Jongho inquires, his voice almost reaching booming, his fears starting to affect him deeply.

“We don’t have to ignore her in the house. Just when outside and at school, avoid her at all costs.” Hongjoong answers, sorrowful about what has to be done. “We do that partially already. Just Mingi, you can’t walk with her to classes.”

Grumbles and complaints are through across the room in a rowdy, loud way, causing Hongjoong to again silence them.

“This is to protect her. This is not for any other reason, boys.”

“Then why are you going out with her today? You’re going against your own words, Captain.” Mingi exclaims, his anger raising slightly at the hypocrisy of his older friend.

“We made these plans before we knew Ryu was here. As much as I want to cancel and reschedule, it would make ___ question, and I want to keep her in the dark here.”

There are a few disbelieved groans and sighs thrown around as enraged stares are directed at Hongjoong.

Hongjoong’s voice booms through the kitchen, the words echoing off the wall, “Don’t you dare look at me like that. I am not using this as an excuse to ‘steal’ ___ from you. If anyone should be out with ___ when Ryu is here it should be me and you all know that damn well. Don’t turn this on me when you know it’s out of my fucking control.” Hongjoong’s voice is strong and sturdy as he speaks his part.

Murmurs of regret and remorse permeate the room, each man expressing their apologies in soft tones. Hongjoong, visibly weighed down by the news, sinks back into his chair, his frustration evident in the furrowed lines on his forehead. He wearily runs his hand through his dishevelled, dirty blonde hair, releasing a deep sigh of exasperation. The weight of the situation hangs heavily on his shoulders, causing his posture to slump. Sensing his distress, Seonghwa offers a comforting gesture, placing a reassuring hand on Hongjoong's shoulder.

“Yunho should go with you,” Yeosang says, his voice soft, quieter than it had been just a few moments ago, this statement causing confused stares to be pointed at him and the taller man.

“What, why?” Seonghwa questions, looking from Hongjoong to the platinum blonde.

“Hongjoong doesn’t know Ryu as well as Yunho and me. I have things I need to do; Yunho can go and make sure that you don’t run into her.” Yeosang explains, his voice back to a normal tone, hints of irritation still evident.

“How is he going to ensure that then?” Wooyoung's question echoes in the room, causing Yeosang to stay silent for a while.

“I will know. She hurt all of us, but I know her better than you all, there’s no chance she’s going to go to a furniture store here anyways, she always hated them.” Yunho answers for Yeosang, who gives his friend a thankful look. Yunho nods in the direction of his friend, before looking back to the six pairs of eyes scanning his every move.

“What? I’m not going to do anything to ___.” Yunho says, ignoring the way his friends send him doubtful looks, rolling his eyes, he admits, “She’s growing on me.”

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