#today in: fuck it this is all non-canon I'm going to have fun
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A few folks seem very intrigued by the somewhat vague pre-BitterSweet ideas I had for Seth I was discussing on stream last night (and a few times before that) so I'll share in my own words here as well!
Seth's embryonic stage was straightforward.
Create a sexy rival for Alphonse who shares a criminal history with him, and wants to use Boo as a means to fuck with Al. Biker bad boy who fucks. That was all there was in the beginning.
From there I considered doing the Good End, Bad End approach that would expand on a concept I tried out with early Alphonse, where Boo and him hooking up on their first night was a non-canon bad end. This would have been more of a Bad Path rather than just an end, a few audios where shit just gets real wild.
I don't remember a ton of specifics now, but long story short after meeting (not the same as episode 1 of BS) Seth would be a lingering menace stirring shit and taunting Al/Boo before ultimately kidnapping Boo and luring Alphonse to a remote location, something similar to a trainyard or warehouse, like the settings seen in BS3. The climax involved a gun, and an ambiguous ending where we're not sure who got got in the end.
Then, after I sat with it for a while and started hammering out what I wanted his introduction to look like, Seth was not becoming that character. I held on, thinking maybe it'll take shape, and then the "THEY WERE LOVERS!?" bit hit me and it really started to get some movement...and nowhere near the direction of Seth really being a menace.
Also, I find the whole thing so overplayed and cliche in the ASMR roleplay niche that I did not think it would be wise in the long run to introduce even the optional Bad End thing because a lot of people cannot grasp the concept of "this is just a spicy branching alternate story for fun".
And honestly, I don't find it all that fun. A by the numbers kidnapping plot for the folks who enjoy that sort of thing would not have been the level of work I'd go on to do, nor would it have created the long lasting emotional attachment to Seth we have today.
Also, knowing your audience fucking matters. That era of the my audience had people freaking out at the idea that Alphonse might leave Boo. They were not prepared for that kind of content whether it was clearly labeled non-canon or not.
I'm pretty happy with where we ended up, and I am much more equipped to tell a story involving a fucked up asshole causing problems on purpose now than I was all those years ago.
But I hear the folks who want various boys behaving badly, and perhaps one day Seth will have a bad dream about what could have been. 🙏
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So! Spaizee Nuzi stuff! What's friggin' new!
Though it's just stuff i made purely because i thought it'd funny if N got all flustered and couldn't speak and i wanna keep the "bored, too much free time" energy, so it's not gonna be like- EXPLICIT, just teasing and an overheating N whose state was caused by having been dared to lick his small goth gf who can canonically kick ass and take names
It's still not very uhhh safe either way soooo i feel a fair warning is warranted anyway... Besides i'm embarrassed but i wanna do this for shits and giggles SO badly lmfao
!!!THIS WRITTEN WORK FROM THIS USER SUGGESTS ACTIONS OF SEXUAL NATURE, ALTHOUGH NOT EXPLICIT IS STILL PRESENT IN THE FORM OF TEASING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!!
!!!YOU CAN ALSO LOOK AT THIS TOO IF YOU WANT IT EXISTS AND I'M HAPPY IT DOES :)!!!
[SUGGESTION]
The alarm starts up.
Uzi gets up from laying on N's chest like he was a body pillow, yawning and rubbing her visor.
"Mornin' N..." Uzi kissed N on the forehead as he too rised from his slumber, first thing he does is blep. He just bleps. "I guess you didn't wake up in full yet-" Uzi chuckled at the sight.
It's the same thing every weekend. Morning routine, chilling, goofing around with whatever, it's the weekend they're gonna fuck around and find out and never regret it... Maybe. Who knows, they're having fun either way.
Well this weekend Uzi was hanging out with the others over at Camp Fever; V, Lizzy and Thad, because she was bored and wanted to be a piece of shit to V and Lizzy anyway they suck.
Unfortunately this meant Uzi was forced to socialize at the camp fire but hey at least N and Thad are there to make it bearable!
"Oh heck i gotta take a call from mom- be right back, sorry!"
"Robo-god, not mom- what did Chad do now?!"
Thad feels fear and Uzi didn't see him like this a lot, most of the time he's just worried or something but never outright scared for his or other's lives. Meanwhile Lizzy is already max annoyed by this "Chad" guy and really he's only mentioned. He must suck a LOT then.
Wait- Thad is gone...
Shit.
.
..
...
..
.
Just awkward silence as the fire crackles and the wind blows inbetween the trees.
"Sooooo who's up for a game or two of truth or dare?" Lizzy broke the silence and now Uzi wishes for the awkward silence to come back.
"Ooh! Me me me!" N raised his hand, waving it around, excited to play a game with fellow drones at camp and he really doesn't like the silence anyway.
Well shit we're playing truth or dare then.
"I'll go first." Oh god oh fuck V just raised her hand we're fucking doomed.
"Oohoo what are you thinking, bestie~? I see your scary ominous grin of intent, what are you planning for us~?" V was indeed wearing her scary ominous grin of intent. Uzi Doorman, tamer of the Murder Drones, is afraid for her life.
"N!" V just whipped her hand to point at him.
"Yeah?" N just smiles so innocently, he doesn't know what's coming. Uzi has no hopes.
"Truth or dare." N started thinking of his choice...
Truth... Or dare...
Uzi couldn't say anything as it didn't matter what he chose, it would always be something painful knowing V.
"Dare! I'm feelin' daring today!"
Here we go.
"I dare you to lick Uzi" Lizzy began wheezing.
"V WHAT THE FUCK" Uzi exclaimed in sheer terror and rage and hatred and another thing she doesn't know the name of but she bets it's related to V being a bully and not the extreme blush her visor was displaying.
"DO IT! dO IT- LICK THE WEIRDO DO IT- AHAHAHDHFNDB oH MY GOOODD" Lizzy was cackling alongside V, who was pointing at N and Uzi furiously. If pointing could be a sound it'd be loud as hell.
"Ohoo nnooooo that's sooo weird... Hhhhhh- okay- can i- can i switch? Can i switch- i want truth now-" N is suffering.
"Nononononononono you're gonna do it! You're gonna lick your little purple friend! You're feeling daring, aren'tcha? Do it!" V just giggled non stop while Lizzy was crying laughing on her shoulder from the level of chaos and fucked upness that this game just reached.
"Can i run away-" Uzi was trapped, N's tail just wrapped around her. "N what the HELL"
"I'm in too deep now, i've dug my own grave, let's get this over with..." N pulled Uzi closer to himself, wishing the world was kinder to him, mentally praying to the nearest god available that could save him from this torture. V agreed with what N said. He is indeed, in too deep.
Uzi closed her eyes as she braced for the inevitable, thinking loudly in an attempt to numb the feeling she'll soon expirience against her will.
Ooookay he's gonna lick you, your best friend forever is gonna lick you and it's gonna be weird but that's okay you can repress that just fine it's no big deal it's still just your friend you're still just friends nothing more it's okay it's okay it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's-
For some reason she suddenly opened one eye a bit to see what N was doing, idk why either.
She just looked on at N's tongue. A glowing, yellow, thick, dripping appendage, she just looked on in... Not horror, not shock, she's just focused on it, it's not a feeling she can describe and it drives her mad, but she knows it's causing her fans in the cooling systems to go crazy trying to cool her down.
All Uzi could think of was the sound of an unlocked lock and... "HOT"
"Okay guys i finally finished that call with mom, how's the bunch doing!" Thad just walked in on N licking Uzi's neck while V and Lizzy looked on at the scene... Unaware of Thad being present. Watching the scene. Shocked and worried about the gang's mental wellbeing.
"EXCUSE ME WHAT DID I JUST WALK IN ON???"
"OH FUCK-" Lizzy yelled as V skyrocketed into the nearest tree to grab on.
N and Uzi just froze in place and looked at Thad with their visors full of blush lines, completely overlapping with their eyes.
Well shit nobody be getting that image reppressed anytime soon.
#murder drones#uzi doorman#nuzi#serial designation n#serial designation v#murder drones lizzy#murder drones thad#suggestive#Spooker's writing
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Words: 862
Tags:
Child abuse,Exile arc,Dream is a fckin asshole,Tommy is traumatized,Hurt/comfort, SBI is coming to the rescue!, non canon, this fic is badly written and rushed.
Authors note:
I made this fic in my school a few hours ago so I apologize if there are any mistakes, feel free to point it out if there's any. This story is not proof read.
Exile
Tommy's teeth chattered as the cold wind blew past him, his whole body quivered in the coldness of the night. In front of him, there was a hole that was dug by him, inside there were remnants of his leather armor and a pickaxe. All of his tools were burned by Dream, tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he held it in because a big man never cries and he is a big man.
Dream had left him in exile all alone, it was a perfect opportunity for him to try and run if only the shackles were not on his legs to stop him from escaping. He could only lean against the rough surface of the tree bark and dream of escaping. Tommy smiled as he stared at the decorated table. It was his only source of happiness.
“It's fine, they'll come tomorrow..” Tommy thought to himself. Tomorrow is going to be a big day and he promised to himself that nothing will ruin it.
_______________
The day had finally arrived. Tommy sat excitedly on his makeshift chair, the surface was a bit rough for him to sit on but chair is chair regardless, beggars can't be choosers after all. Dream came back earlier than expected and he brought a cake with him, by that time Tommy was still decorating.
“Hello Tommy, having fun?” Dream chuckled under his mask as he placed the cake onto the table. Tommy became suspicious at Dream's sudden act of kindness, he even helped him decorate and cut the cake into slices for him. Tommy kept on staring at the cake, Dream saw this and he chuckled.
“Come on Tommy, I'm your friend! Of course I'm going to bring you a cake today” Dream said. “Don't you trust me?” He asked.
“Of course I do, I just-” Tommy was quickly cutted off by Dream.
“It's fine Tommy, I understand”
Tommy had a feeling that he shouldn't trust him at all.
______________
Hours had passed. Tommy was still waiting for his friends to come by but none of them came, not even ghostbur. “It's fine, they're just busy at this moment, I'll just have to wait for a couple of minutes” and Tommy waited. Dream sat across from him, he happily ate the cake that he had brought earlier. Oddly enough, his slice is quite larger compared to Dream slice.
“You should eat it Tommy, you don't want to eat it when it's warm”
“I know but what about,” Tommy paused for a bit, he glanced at the clock and then at his cake “you're right..I'll eat it now”. Tommy took a bite of his cake and it didn't taste very delicious but considering that Dream had spent hours just to get him cake, Tommy kept on eating it. Then as he was about to finish, he suddenly felt something in his mouth, it was pretty sharp for him, he tried to spat it out but Dream immediately stopped him.
“Don't you fucking dare, you better swallow it” Dream glared at him, his fork fell onto the table. Tommy wanted to throw it out but seeing Dream angry just immediately made him follow his order.
“Good, after you finish eating clean this mess”
_____________
Tommy had experienced every pain possible, Dream went out again so it's just him alone. His throat hurts so much to the point that he can't speak, eat or even drink. Tommy mentally cursed himself, god he was such a fucking idiot. He didn't even know why he acted that way nor does he know why he followed his tormentor command, maybe he was finally broken?
Tommy hasn't felt like he was himself for a long time, it was as if that Dream slowly took away what made him, himself.
“Dream wouldn't do that, he's your friend”
Dream finally came back, he wore the same smirk as the day that Tommy was escorted out of L’manberg.
“Hello Tommy” Dream said.
Tommy opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off but all of that comes out instead is a pained wheeze. Tommy wanted to yell at him, he wanted to tell him to fuck off but he can't.
His voice is gone.
“It's nice to not have to listen to you yapping all around” Dream chuckled.
I'm going to fucking kill you.
_______________
Tommy is now back at the comfort of his home. Well, it's not as comfortable as it is in L'manberg but still, at least he has a bed to lay on now.
“Tommy it will all be fine, Dream is gone now” Techno said as he draped his cloak around the shaken Tommy. Tommy looks up at Techno with tears filling his eyes. Both of them were sitting on the bed.
“He tortured me techno, he tries to fucking kill me everyday”
Philza turned to look at Tommy with a saddened look on his face, his eyes filled with guilt, sadness and a glint of anger.
“We're sorry Tommy…we should've came sooner”
Tommy wanted to be mad at them, but he was still in pain. He could only lean on Techno's body, basking in the warmth of his older brother.
He will get revenge soon.
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This is going to be random, but I wanted to say something.
For some time shipping hasn't been fun for me, and it's even worse since I enjoy crack-ships and other uncommon couples. When I started watching Stranger Things I liked the idea of Madwheeler, and I also started reading your fanfiction The Pact before even having a Tumblr account.
Today I found out about you, and when I saw that you're a writer for more famous ships like Byler but also made an amazing Madwheeler piece, it really made me smile. It's just somehow refreshing seeing someone having fun with different character dynamics and stuff.
It made me think "Damn, that's a person I can admire.". It made me somehow believe I can have fun with this again. So thank you. I hope you keep writing and sharing your ideas out there. Be weel!
Hey there @abajurapagado!! You have no idea how much this means to me!! 🥹 That I could help you in any way have a better time in the fandom and enjoy it! That's amazing.
That, after all, is what fandom is for first and foremost: Enjoyment.
That being said, I have always been a person who has written for and been a fan of smaller ships, non-canon ships, unpopular ships even in very small fandoms. I just tend to gravitate towards what interests me. In the past I've been a part of the Turn fandom (I liked a gay pairing-townhull- that was very much non-canon), Star Wars (reylo, gingerrose), OFMD (izzy x lucius), The Morning Show (stella x cory). Most of those are all very much non-canon 😂.
And this is the first fandom where I've seen many people be so staunchly devoted to "canon". It's something I haven't come across in my other fandom travels.
But, in the end, it doesn't matter what the pairing is, if it makes you happy and you find the dynamic interesting than I say engage with it! Even if it makes others side eye you or not be happy with it. It doesn't matter. I'm very much a ship and let ship type of person. And in my Star Wars and Shadow and Bone days, have been in support of some very unliked pairings, but I've tried to never to let it stop me from having a good time. I'm here for the dynamics and drama and I tend to lean towards certain dynamics because of that!
Byler is the first pairing I've ever been a fan of, besides Reylo, that is "mainstream" or has a big following. Actually, as a past Reylo, I see a lot of the same thing happening with Byler....people saying that the followers are delusional, where if you watched the SW films...know how that all ended up 🙃
But also, my other biggest SW ship, gingerrose, is a random ship that was built around 3 pieces of dialogue and a finger bite deleted scene lmao....and they've ended up being a dynamic I actually like a lot better and read about more than I ever did Reylo. I think that you can ship multiple things in the same fandom and it's okay if one of them is a little different, unpopular, or people think it's weird. There is no reason for people to be offended by what other people ship. That is such a strange concept to me.
Madwheeler, to me, is interesting. I am VERY much aware it's a "crackship" or whatever. I do not expect anything from canon. That's not the point. It actually is freeing to have something be completely for fun, and I don't have those emotional ties like I do byler or I did with reylo, where I really wanted it to happen it canon. I think the actors have good chemistry, I think they are for sure very paralleled to one another, and I think that it's a ship that has a lot to unpack. I don't give a flying fuck if it's not canon or out of nowhere or if some people think it's "ick". Doesn't bother me. I am interested in the drama, I like to headcanon them both as bisexual which is fun, and I live for the tension of "hating" someone and having sexual tension. It's good shit, and it's SO EASY to do with their dynamic. It practically writes itself.
I love Byler for different reasons: the best friends to lovers trope, the sweetness of it, the angst, the coming of age. Will is my favorite character and I just love his story.
Both pairings offer SO MANY things, but they also are very different. And it allows me as a writer to explore different tropes, different facets of these fictional character's personalities, and as there is always a little bit of myself in my writing, explore some different emotions etc.
And I personally believe that exploring new dynamics in addition to my main one, has kept me more active in the ST fandom and byler community. It's kept me feeling creative, and keeps it fun as we're waiting for season 5 crumbs and filming to start etc! Fanfiction is very much meant for exploring things that don't happen in canon and exploring character dynamics that speak to you personally. Imo, it's the entire point of it. So anywho, I'm glad you're enjoying The Pact, and I am so happy that my tiny self has stoked the fire a little bit for your Stranger Things love. I hope you have tons of fun from here are on out!! ♡♡♡♡♡
#stranger things#madwheeler#fandom things#byler#personal#justmyname#writing things#thank you dear moot#here's wishing you lots of fun from here on out!! 🥂
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I have Henry (raccoon plush), Nick Jr (mouse plush), Lark, Sparrow and Birdie (3 plants of the same species [cannot remember the name]) and a Pick Up choco bar by my side and to quote Nerdy Prudes Must Die: "I'm scared-"
~spoilers for S2 Ep46 below~
"student of the blade, master of the blade pose" oh fun fun
I'm sorry Matt? What?
Also I just read the description - "a new PUPPET dictator"
ALSO THE EP NAME???? LINK WHAT DID YOU DO???
"Cassandra Swift has done nothing wrong" Hell yea Will
WILL
the energy in the room today- NOT AGAIN MATT PLEASE
the OTHER TIME he ran a country- oh? no, yeah, that adds up
BETH
GUYS- i am loving this energy (if i gaslight myself into positivity now, i won't be devastated later! <- lies)
MATT
scamster becoming a thing cause Scam thought it would be funny is so real actually
ah yes, the 2 genders: the blade pose and the Katherine Zeta Jones entrapment pose
third person to be king? HERMIE
Lincoln is going to get Lincoln
love this plan so far
HERMIEEEEEEEE! YAY THEY REMEMBERED HIM!
"deep within Taylor there's an impulse of 'can I bet on this fight?'" glad to see the Close blood is still strong-
Normal: speech about how they have to go liberate hell. Link and Scary: "but I wanna see if you die or not" "yea"
OHHHHHH is the ep title cause of Abraham Lincoln? oh ok!
NAT 20 ABE LINCOLN
NORMAL MY BOY NO-
"the whole lay on hands" "the whole hand" "all 10 fingies" such a goofy podcast y'all, what are we worried about?
Normal is NOT getting out of there
oh yEAH THE ADULTS ARE HERE
guys i'm half way through the ep and its only been goofy to far. I AM SCARED
JEZZ BALLLL FUCK YEAHHHH (i was telling my friends about it and they could not believe me that this game exists)
this is NOT the time to learn Jezzball
NORMAL NOOO-
oh? the kiddads being useful for once?
LINK NO
boop on the snoop!
"Link, a true narc, knows when someone is gonna narc"
YES LINK, THREATEN THE FBI!!!
RON!
glad to see Taylor hasn't changed <3
rip Abe (part 2)
NEW SATAN! the guy who's name i cannot remember!
Normal finally got to be spider boy! AND HE LOST THE MUSTACHE!
Will with the Hamilton reference
"Grant has the possibility to do the funniest thing" HAH YEA-
3/4 into the ep and: 1) nothing ouch so far + 2) not a single Anthony quote written here yet = i'm gonna be devastated soon aren't i?
Normal in death saves part 3
"Dood, it might be time to, y'know, be a bad girl" Dood proceeds to get a Nat 20. FUCK YEAHHHHHHH
9 MINUTES LEFT GUYS- WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN I AM TERRIFIED NOW- WHERE'S HERMIE???
"is 'no trick pony' a saying?" hAH-
HERMIE! YAY!
WQAIT WHY'RE THEY LIMPING?
7 MINUTES LEFT, HELP-
who?
HERMIE! NO!
"a sucking wound in his chest" "yea it does suck" OUCH
THAT'S WHY HE WAS LIMPINGH
NORMAL'S STIL IN DEATH SA- HERMIE CAN'T BE IN DEATH SAVES??? NO
HIS HEART????? NO
NO NO NO NON NO N O-
"and he says 'Normal, i like you too,' and then he slumps over" HEY ANTHONY FUCK YOU
HEY THE OUTRO SAYING "its just a matter of time till we make it out alive" HAH HA HA AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NORMAL ROLLED A NATTY 1 ON SENSE MOTIVE OH SHIGT
"yea you'll never know if he was telling the truth or not" WHAT IF I DIE?
In conclusion:
Anthony said Hermie was gonna suffer, that oakworthy wouldn't become canon. fuck me for not heeding the warning i guess oh geez oh fuck-
#literally my brain is short circuting rn#wdym hermie is DEAD'#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads spoilers#whispers of the raine
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Diary of a Killer
not by SOMEGUY123
The "not by" author tag is because it was miscredited on the wiki that salvaged the story but had no source
So, for those unaware, I keep a huge freaking graph with all the stories i accumulated in a terribly connected timeline of events, so i can check back and forth and place new stories on a singular timeline of canonicity. It's real fun i'll upload the current version sooner or later.
This story is a diary style one, allegedly written by Jeff himself and there's just So many things that break the timeline i've built, but also there's so much stupid crap i wish i could add (You'll see).
Primarily what's keepign this story non-canon is the very explicit timestamps, age, birthday and "years since the first kill" not matching all the others (not even time travel can fix this) or the way Jane's relation is described. Accidentally however it matches a very incredibly lucky pattern of stories where Jeff is a alcoholic for a very particular set of years (yes, this is documented on the timeline)
Oh, also there's a surprise cameo at the end
This is one pretty stupid
CW// Fetish mentions, sex mention, alcohol, murder
Click below to read the original unedited story
On January 4th, 2009 there was a book found in an old abandoned house that was raided by swat team to try to take down Jeff the Killer, he wasn't there. The book was a diary kept by none other than Jeff the Killer. It has been kept top secret since, until now. I will record only the details I find important as that most of this diary just has random words about killing and sometimes just random markings. He seems to be depressed by the fact that he is alone. All of this helps us to see the world in the eyes of Jeff the Killer. These are the entries…
November 17th, 2007
I found this empty book lying in the street and I guess it's a good time to start keeping a diary if I am to be properly remembered. It has been six years since I became like this, my life has been interesting since then. I'll be turning nineteen in just a week, I'm no longer a kid.
November 24th, 2007
Well, today is my birthday and I plan to drink a bottle of wine that I have been saving for a long time, I got it from my childhood home before I left. The wine bottle is from 1896, it was one of my family's greatest possessions and I think it's time to drink it. I'll bet it will taste amazing.
November 25th, 2007
Now that I am becoming sober again, I think I can write now. That was the greatest thing I have ever drank in my life, I drank the entire bottle. I've been lonely lately. I hate being by myself, to be truthful. I still remember Jane, all I wanted to do was make her beautiful like I am. Oh Jane my love, why do you hate me so? Well, I guess I should go on my nightly rounds, now if I can only get this damn van to start up.
January 1st, 2008
It's new years! My resolution is to kill more, obviously. Just last night I killed this one girl, she smashed a lamp over my back and I still think I have pieces of in me, fucking bitch. Now I have to go see if I can get the lamp shards out of my back.
January 30th, 2008
I don't know what it is, but I can't sleep. I can sleep fine without eyelids, but its just something is keeping me awake. I think it could be Jane, she wants to kill me, I want to make her love me. Sometimes I've wondered if I really should still be alive. Alcohol seems to be my only companion. I've been living in this van in this abandoned amusement park, I need a better place to stay, I need someone.
March 12th, 2008
Well, at least one of my problems have been solved, I found an old abandoned house on top of a hill next to some woods, I should be fine here, my van is parked outside of it. The house is secluded, no one would expect to find me here, I've seen how they are looking for me. I am still lonely, I talk to myself and I'm going batshit insane. Why am I fucking feeling like this?!
March 25th, 2008
Living up here has been extremely eventful. There was something in those woods, by the name of Slenderman, it nearly killed me and us fighting caught the woods on fire. Worst of all, I found my family's graves, in a graveyard next to the woods. I shouldn't feel bad but I still do. What's happening to me?
April 1st, 2008
I love April Fool's, especially when I'm killing. Instead of go to sleep, I say April Fool's, ah, humor. It makes me smile. I killed a lot of people tonight, it's been fun. I'm glad I'm starting to feel like myself again, my badass self, Jeff. Well, I've pulled up to my next house, this one should be good.
April 4th, 2008
As if either my prayers have been answered or death has come for my soul, Jane has written me and she knows where I am. Her letter was quite cute really, heres what it said:
"Jeff, I know where you are and I will kill you. I have waited years for this and now, you will die, expect me soon Jeff, I hate you."
She's adorable isn't she?
April 5th, 2008
Jane should be here any day now, I'm nervous. I should fight her off so I can live but I also want to impress her. Jane, you have no clue how much I love you, you are beautiful on the inside, I still keep that note you wrote me, I've loved you ever since. I wanted you to kill with me, be beautiful just like me. What is wrong with me? Jane I have many fantasies about us that I wish to come true, they are very erotic. Jane, why won't you love me?
April 9th, 2008
As angels come and go, same goes with Jane. She cut me up pretty good but I was able to scare her off. I do admit I tried some things with her, but I just wanted to make her love me. She accepted defeat and left but saying she'd come back again when I least expect it. Oh Jane, you make my heart melt.
October 31st, 2008
It's my favorite holiday, Halloween! This is a day I can go out in public, because everyone thinks I'm just wearing a costume. There is a local Halloween party going on in my area for people around my age. I'll go in, have some fun, maybe hook up with some girls, then finish off by locking the doors and windows and burning the place down. Tonight will be the best!
November 1st, 2008
Last night went just as I pictured it, people credited my "costume" many times, I think I could have gotten one girl pregnant, and I burned the entire place down and got away. Lately some images have been going around of a smiling dog, before my encounter with Slenderman, I would have thought it was fake. If this dog is real, that would be awesome having a dog like that. A companion who shares my love of smiling.
November 17th, 2008
I've been writing in this thing for officially a year now and its not even half way full. Lately stuff as just been same as usual, lonely and killing, nothing special. So, I'm out of ideas what else to write.
November 18th, 2008 (Jeff is drunk in this entry and this is the best I could translate)
Jane you are so fucking hot, I want to fuck you forever. Jane I love you so much, you are so sexy. I want to fuck you in a shower of blood and I want you to slash me with that knife some more as I let you smile forever too. Fuck me Jane, fuck me.
November 19th, 2008
Damn I was drunk last night, I must have been fantasizing about Jane. As you can tell, I have some interesting fetishes.
December 1st, 2008
Winter is here. I love winter. The cold feels good on my face. I honestly hate spending Christmas alone, it's unfair. I just wish someone was there to spend it with me, someone like Jane. I feel so lonely and sad.
December 16th, 2008
I feel odd, something seems to be going around my house, I don't know what but I hear it just running around my house. It's honestly very weird. It's probably a damn coyote who strayed too far from it's pack because it always makes canine laughing sounds, but in a way, not like a coyote.
December 17th, 2008
I saw it, it was the Smile Dog. It looked at me with its beautiful smile, and also saw my smile. I want to tame this animal, I believe we can be the best of friends. I will watch for him and be ready. I will not spend Christmas alone.
December 25th, 2008
It's Christmas and I'm not alone. I approached Smile Dog with some flesh I had from another kill and he took it, and we knew I would be this dog's proper owner. We are sitting at a warm fire. I got what I wanted for Christmas, a friend. Now if only Jane were here.
This was the last entry of the diary, Jeff's current location is unknown, I released this because I wanted you to know about who Jeff really was. He was a crazy killing psychopath, yes, but he still had a heart.
#jeff the killer#smiledog#jtk#jane the killer#jane richardson#jane everlasting#horror#fanfiction#story#creepypasta
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𝑪𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝑾𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑴𝒊𝒙𝒆𝒅 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕 𝑮𝒂𝒎𝒆
♪ | 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐶𝑙𝑢𝑏 𝑊𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑'𝑠 𝑀𝑖𝑥𝑒𝑑 𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡 𝐺𝑎𝑚𝑒. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑻𝑾𝑶 𝒎𝒂𝒙 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑗𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑. 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡; 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑗𝑖 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟!!
♪ | 𝐼𝑓 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 (𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑒), 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑖𝑡'𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘!!
♪ | 𝑬𝒎𝒐𝒋𝒊 𝒌𝒆𝒚:
💕 - non-canon
💞 - canon
❤️ - canon couple (having fun with dynamics)
💛 - non-canon couple (just for fun)
💙 - potentially interested (want to see how they work)
👍🏼 - okay to write my character's actions/dialogue
👎🏼 - don't write my character's actions/dialogue
✨ - use as a starter
♪ | 𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒕𝒐𝒐!
♪ | Misc Dialogue:
"Oh, do you ever shut up?"
"Don’t patronise me for something you were too scared to do!"
"I’m like 75% sure this won’t explode."
"You’re bleeding on my carpet."
"Excuse me, but whoever stood you up is a jerk."
"You’re the hero huh? I guess that makes me the villain."
"Hate to break it to you, but I’m still alive."
"I’m afraid I’m not enough for you."
"Please promise me you won’t do that again…"
"You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?"
"Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth."
"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither."
"If you're waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, 'cause it's gonna be a really long time."
"Some day you'll go far - and I really hope you stay there."
"I'm trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can't get my head that far up my ass."
"I'm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one."
"Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt."
"Please be quiet, I can't even hear myself losing the will to live."
"Take another step, and I can't be held responsible for my actions."
"I would call you an imbecile but that'd be cruel as you wouldn't be able to spell it."
"You interrupt my reading once more, and this book will become a lethal weapon."
"Say that again."
"Wait, you love me? Like you love me like how Garfield loves Lasagne or how Thomas O'Malley loves Duchess?"
"If being clumsy was a currency, I'd be a bloody billionaire."
"Kiss me you twat."
"Your heart is as cold as my dorm room, and I can't feel my toes in that room, so it's bloody cold."
"Do you not have better things to be doing?"
"Is that who I think it is?"
"In my defence, I was left unsupervised."
"Where the hell have you been?"
"That was up there with some of the stupidest shit you've ever done."
"Spill."
"There had better be coffee."
"Get your ass over here before I drag you here myself."
"That's normal, right?"
"How many of these things have you eaten?"
"Do not touch that."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"This is quite possibly the last thing I had wanted to be doing tonight."
"You didn't."
"This is gonna sound bad, so hear me out."
"Are you sure you want to commit to that for the rest of your life?"
"It's finally here!"
"Fuck what everybody else thinks!"
"You're my best friend now, no take-backs."
"I wouldn't say this is the happiest moment of my life. Once I found $10 in my coat pocket and it was amazing."
"The day you make me laugh is the day the dolphins start walking on land."
"Come on dude! Why the hell did you shoot me?"
"That better be an apology pizza I smell, not just some stupid normal pizza."
"I feel more inclined to take a bite out of my own flesh than eat that."
"Stop stealing my clothes."
"We all have secrets."
"I don't need to be protected."
"So how many weapons do you have?"
"A nail clipper isn't a conventional weapon but believe me, you'll be crying for your mother when I'm done with you."
"I will deny you death until you beg me for it."
"Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture."
"So that's what you are..."
"Hungry dogs are never loyal."
"We'll make a criminal out of you yet."
"Are you flirting or starting a fight?"
"I am way too sober for this."
"You here to finish me off, sweetheart?"
"People do bad things when they are trying to survive."
"Aw look at them - so young and willing to get themselves killed."
"Remember, history is written by the victors."
"Look, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone."
"If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars."
"I think I might be falling in love with you."
"Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day."
"It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger."
"Mmm... you're warm."
"You're so cute when you're half asleep like this..."
"I've had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with..."
"No, you can't get up! You're my prisoner for today."
"Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real."
"You know I'm always here for you, right?"
"Please talk to me about it."
"Call me one more time, see what happens."
"Bite me."
"I broke my rules for you."
"It's me! It's me! Calm down baby, please."
"Become addicted to me. Crave me. Let me be your drug."
"Just once."
"I'm not going to kill you. Not yet, anyway."
Your bullshit has a body count."
"Wait a minute, are you jealous?"
"Wanna bet?"
"I can't breathe, I can't-"
"You think you can just run that pretty mouth of yours whenever you want?"
"What's in it for me?"
♪ | Dialogue That Gets Scarier When Trapped In A Hug:
"I know what you did."
"Just play along. Please."
"When I let go, run for your life."
"Don't open your eyes."
"Don't look."
"You're right. None of this is real."
"They can hear us."
"Play along or they might take us both."
"I always knew you'd die in my arms."
"Go. Go now, and don't look back."
"Wake up. Before they get you too."
"You know I'm not real, don't you?"
"Don't. Move."
♪ | Blood
"Are you bleeding?"
"Don't move, you're bleeding."
"Is that blood?"
"Whose blood is that?"
"That's a lot of blood."
"Do you know how to get bloodstains out?"
"Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?"
"Damn, I got blood on my shirt."
"I won't let you bleed out."
"Don't move, you're losing blood."
"You have blood on your face."
"I swear to god, if you get blood on me..."
"What's your blood type?"
"Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?"
♪ | Danger Prompts
"Touch her, and you're dead."
"I'll come back for you, I promise."
"We're not alone."
"Keep your eyes closed and don't make a sound."
"They're going to take you, we're trapped."
"Listen to what I'm trying to tell you."
"It doesn't matter what I want."
"Baby, we are the law."
"They'll have to go through me before they get to you."
"It's my life over yours, don't you get that?"
"You're my Achilles heel, they will do whatever it takes to get to you!"
"I won't let anything happen."
"Do you trust me?"
"Are they going to find us?"
"I need you to stay close to me."
"When are you coming home? I'm... I'm scared."
"You don't intimidate me. Cut the act."
"Put the knife down, I'm not going to hurt you."
"For once, I'm not the bad guy here."
♪ | Flirty
"Baby, don't make me spell it. out for you... you know I want you."
"You are breathtaking."
"I can't help it, you're fun to mess with."
"Would you like me to whisper it in your ear?"
"I can give you a list of how you make me feel..."
"You're being all cute and sweet, it's making me want to kiss you."
"Oh my, what have I done to deserve such a beautiful smile?"
"I must be in heaven."
"Please keep smiling at me like that- ow! Okay! I'll pay attention."
"If you don't want to keep standing, may I suggest sitting in my lap? Much recommended. Great comfort quality."
"Are you implying that you want to kiss me?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You're blushing so hard, all I did was say 'I love you' in French."
"I could get used to waking up next to you, actually."
"Right... Well... I'm not sure how we ended up kissing like that..."
"I'm personally offended that you didn't get me to be your fake date."
"We would make a pretty good couple."
"The date didn't go well. Yeah, he/she didn't like how I kept mentioning all of our adventures."
"How come I always end up calling you when I can't fall asleep?"
♪ | Angst
"Pay attention to me."
"Please don't leave me."
"Why can't you love me back."
"I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way."
"Letting you go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"Don't let me go."
"Why did you leave me?"
"I can't forgive you."
"Please forgive me."
"Leave."
"Stay."
"Don't you see I'm trying?"
"It's okay. I understand. You can leave. They all do."
♪ | Rough and Gruff Caretaking
"You've had worse, you'll live."
"If you pass out, I'm not going to catch you."
"How many times have I told you already? Sit still!"
"Do you want my help or not? Cooperate with me here!"
"I'm not going to hand-feed you. Sit up and take the plate."
"You better have a really good reason for being out of bed."
"I told you that would pop your stitches! Did you listen? No!"
"I don't think I even need to say I told you so... but I told you so."
"Drink it, or I'll pry your mouth open and pour it down your throat."
"I am not sleeping in here with you. You snore when you're congested."
♪ | Jealousy
"No way... you're actually jealous."
"Oh come on, you and I both knew what he was doing."
"What are you laughing at? I don't see anything funny..."
"You're cute..."
[laughing] "I've never seen you that mad before."
"I thought we were supposed to stay a little longer?"
"Kiss me." "What-"
"You didn't have to say anything, y'know."
"The hell was that?"
"I thought you would have called... that's all..."
"I'm not upset."
"Hey, you okay? You look off..."
"What is your problem?"
"I didn't know you were the jealous type."
"We need to talk about that little stunt that you pulled earlier."
"Do you ever ask why I get this way? Maybe it's because- y'know what, nevermind."
"You don't do that with me..."
"She looked at you funny..."
"C'mere, let's talk about this."
"I just didn't like that too much, alright?"
♪ | Sarcasm
"This is fun." "Seriously, we're trying to hide a body."
"Well, what can I say? I'm a badass."
"I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."
"Define normal."
"I'm gonna make you wish you were dead."
"Do I get bonus points if I look like I care?"
"Why do I still like you, knowing you're an asshole?"
"Don't look for redeeming qualities. I don't have any."
"I feel like a freaking soccer mum."
"My ex? Yeah, I'd still hit that. Except for this time it would be with my car."
"I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass."
"And you wonder why you're still single."
"She's hot but she's evil."
"Don't look into her eyes, she might steal your soul."
"Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass."
"Remind me to kill you. Please."
"I'm listening to you. I'm just not paying attention."
"Were you dropped on your head?"
"Wow, there's a big surprise. I think I will have a heart attack and die from surprise."
"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"
"I heard that!" "You were supposed to."
"I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned."
"If I survive, can I go home?"
"I don't have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel."
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
"Oh darling, go buy a brain."
"Somebody's cranky." "Someone needs to shut up."
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18, 20, 23
18. how do what you look for in your own writing vs someone else’s coincide? how does your writing influence your reading?
good grammar. GOOD GRAMMAR. good fucking grammar. please god let the grammar be good. if i see passive voice used unnecessarily i will just start killing. anyone who has had to listen to me talk about writing knows this. outside of that. i don't really know what i'm "looking for" in my writing i think i'm just writing to expel the demons from the washing machine rinse cycle of my brain. when i read, i want to be able to tell that the author cared, and not just cared about the story they were telling, but cared enough to tell it well. cared enough to know what to leave it and what to take out. you know the t kira madden tweet.
i think i tend to gravitate towards more highly specific stories because of my writing (ann patchett books, for example, or niche aus in the realm of fanfic) but i dunno i'm willing to read a lot. i can tell you how my reading influences my writing but i've never considered the other way around.
20. where do you begin a WIP? ex: a mood, a scene, a certain character dynamic, etc. does this differ per project?
it varies. usually i will be watching/reading/etc something else and go hey this vibe fits x character and it can spiral from there. this is how the gospel tent au was born (i watched an episode of x files and the plot spun itself out pretty wild from there). generally i see the parts that work and figure out how to thread them together differently to fit what story i want to tell. for non-specific aus or canon universe writing it's usually i happen to have a lot of scene ideas build up and i put them all together like a jigsaw puzzle. sometimes i'll want to fill the missing pieces (this is what my mithan fic is a combination of: gap in canon and a ton of scene ideas). sometimes it's purely an aesthetic or motif or character dynamic that niggles at me til i write something. the leon and claire fic i posted today was purely me feeling unhinged over their dynamic in infinite darkness and wanting to explore it. i dunno i'm a jack of all trades. my brain will just start monologuing and i have to write it down or forget it immediately.
23. what do you do to engage with your projects which isn’t actually writing? ex: playlists, pinterest boards, etc. how much do they play a role in the development of your work?
i USED to do playlists for my fics (and just in general) but i don't tend to do that much anymore. i do sometimes make playlists specifically for brainrot though i use my ipod more than spotify so i don't really know Why. there's one for cat's cradle which, huge L. there's one for the ABBA au. there's a l'manberg one lurking somewhere but i think i made that one secret or something. there's a winters family playlist i occasionally yeet stuff on and i also have a playlist of songs i want my writing to feel like which is incredibly self indulgent but fun. the playlists don't really do much they're just for fun and good for stealing lyrics for chapter titles.
i do pinterest boards for a lot of aus as well which is a good way to scroll around until i get inspiration and/or to find things i was keeping on hand for epigraphs. i also doodle stuff for my writing sometimes bc well somebody's gotta make me fanart and it looks like it's gonna have to be me. drawing is good for conceptualizing designs if i need them like for the final girl au but mostly everything is just for fun and can be used as a successful procrastination method to avoid Actually writing.
ask game.
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your wish is my command!
first of all, there is no piece of fanfiction i reccomend more than the "Bionic Coping Mechanism" series by MartinKBlackwoodESQ. i'm literally rereading it right now. it's a somewhere else story written entirely in dialogue format with insane worldbuilding and it's insanely funny. best thing i've ever read easily 10/10. the series consists of a finished 81k fic, a recap of said fic and an unfortunately unfinished sequel, but you have to give this one a go. it is so worth it.
for more longer fics, i also reccomend:
"Foggier Yet, and Colder" by mimikutie - a bit out of season for this one, but its a great read with a very interesting exploration of the characters and Actually Evil Jurgen Leitner
"Like A Fly" by Prim_the_Amazing - always a good read for when you need some good ol fucked up avatar romance
"This Lonely Knight" by arthureameslove - an au with very interesting story and compelling worldbuilding. full of enemies to lovers goodness
"A Home For What Loves You" by TheWrongShop - when it comes to s1 canon divergence, i feel like this is one of it's the best little 'tropes'. this fic is very well executed and a fun read.
i also have a bunch of fics that are a bit shorter but have nonetheless occupied my mind for several weeks upon reading:
"Fools in Love" by CirrusGrey - this fic is a fun tma spin on it's own trope. it is also very cute.
"Non-Conjugal Visits" by shinyopals - martin blackwood gets annoyed for 6k words (incredibly fun fic and incredibly fun ending)
"The Perfect Valentine" by Prim_the_Amazing - this is literally so cute reading it makes me giggle and kick my feet
"Sam nie pojmuję, jak w twe zajdę progi" by Mad_Maudlin - only halfway through reading this one did i realize how good it was - when i put the pieces together and realized what was happening, i had just the biggest grin on my face. so good.
Lovebirds by green_tea_and_honey - sweet funny jmart fluff what more do you need. i can also confirm it is accurate to real life.
Office Party by chewsdaychillin - this ones a bit longer than the others but i feel like it's a good exploration of their relationship thru the entire series
Clutching Daffodils by Gemi - probably the most original spin on hanahaki ive ever read. doubles as a great read in general
Ask a Compelling Question by DotyTakeThisDown - i love jon's characterisation in this so much. incredible concept, but even better execution
a little love, a little sympathy by Did - in which martin's falsified cv is not his biggest, darkest, most evil secret..... needing comfort is!
Martin Blackwood and the Power of Research by boredshyandbi - in which jonathan sims has insane infodump game. when i read this for the first time (and every other time) my face muscles actually hurt from smiling.
Not On My Watch by CirrusGrey - in a universe where the institute is a normal workplace, elias bouchard is still a big douche. jon will not stand for this.
Biscuit Week by chewsdaychillin - what if tma was the great british bakeoff. i think about this everyday. also part of a series theres a part 2 :)
Caramel by Louffox - not your typical coffeshop au. this ones hilarious
"Any Version of You" by CirrusGrey - a series of oneshots made for jonmartin week 2024! each one is super good though can't reccomend it enough
there's also an ongoing fic called "Running with the wolves" by NohaIjiachi i've been enjoying! it's going in a direction i really like.
there's WAYYYY more reccomendations, but this post is getting super long, haha. just vaguepost about needing more fic recs when you need me.
i also urge you to check out the authors of all these amazing fics! they have a ton of good works i probably forgot to mention.
anon... ANON!!!1! thank you.
i started reading bionic coping mechanism today in class (lol) and i am Now Hooked. the author has got the characterization on Point. and i am SO INTRIGUED.
i am saving all of these and will definitely be screaming in these authors comment sections at some point. THANKS A LOT!!1!
#I WAS NOT EXPECTING SO MANY RECS THANK YOU SO MUCH????????? SCREAMING CRYING SENDING YOU LOVE FROM MY SIDE OF THE SCREEN.#fav#posting this to say thank you but also for other ppl to see :D#reference
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Please I'm dying. I've been having Axel withdrawals 💔💔 But fr, I ended up staying with my family for a while and I JUST got home. My sleep schedule is FUCKED now, I spent all night on Christmas Eve painting this photo for my aunts boyfriend. I literally went to bed at 6 am, and its only been getting worse. I went to bed at 9 AM TODAY, LITERALLY WOKE UP AT 6 PM. I stayed caught up with Spellbound, thank goodness. It was the only thing keeping me sane at night. I'm like praying that I'll be put out of my misery, either literally or just actually sleep tonight. Though I did have a ton of fun with my grandma, and aunt. I could have done without my brother, but yk.. Beggars can't be choosers.
ALSO?? I GOT ED HARDY PERFUME?? I haven't had it in YEARS, but it spells just as good as I remember. I LOOOVVEE it omg, I'm genuinely so glad that I got it. It's fr the good stuff <33
Also, have you ever LOVED a character, but then come across something that made you cringe so hard over them you lost interest? Well, I've come across a umm... Interesting fic of Choso, and I JUST ABOUT LOST IT. I started grieving and started drawing him again, watching scenes of him, yk.. To gain my interest back, and I am PROUD TO SAY, the brain rot is back. But seriously.. Why would you make an... Incest... Fic of a character...? Pardon my language, but it made me physically fucking recoil. I was genuinely disgusted, it involved up.. Non consensual stuff too. I just can't..?? Had to sit and remind myself that it isn't canon 😭
GLAD TO BE BACK HERE, GLAD TO BE BACK HOME. MISSED THESE ANON ASKS
xoxo 👽 (I'm still scarred over the fic, I don't want to go explore the internet of Choso stuff anymore. I'd rather stick with creators I trust 😃)
ur sleep schedule progressively gets worse each ask u send in it’s crazy but so does mine dw ^_^ actually i think i might’ve just fixed it again who knows maybe i’m lying !
RIP UR SLEEP SCHEDULE BUT IM GLAD U AT LEAST HAD FUN WITH UR FAMILY 🫡 AND OMG ED HARDY PERFUME??? SLAYYYYYY
hm yes see i try not to yuck someone’s yum bc i of all people should not be talking but… i mean like… what’s even the appeal… and i fear… many… fics on tumblr… have that… but whatever i just keep scrolling they can live their life and i will live mine… 🐺
GLAD U R BACK!
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gut shabbospost
in the posting mines
listening: officially in partizan proper! i'm almost done with episode 1, i'm still in the "who are these people i do not care yet" phase of starting a new fatt season but it'll sink in soon. i knew a little about twilight mirage going into it but i know literally nothing about partizan beyond the name clementine kesh and that janine played a big deer robot so it's very exciting to see where it goes! i also listened to more synthtober and downloaded a new podcast that i have not started yet called the 7 bells podcast and it's a readthrough of the old kingdom trilogy because mentally i am back in that cycle of Ough Abhorsen
reading: perchance to dream (jinkandtherebels): xiyao dream incense but used in non-horny ways! very innovative for dream incense considering canon imo.
forever onward, scion (oldestenemy): wizard101 fic, found it linked on tumblr, standard darkfic fare of Man This Could Be Fucked Up Or What but i liked the way it was written
watching: i watched invasion of the body snatchers (1956) on monday! helped run a grad student halloween movie night for my department, turnout was good enough that we actually ran out of pizza which was awesome. i'd never seen it before somehow so it was fun, definitely goofy in the 1950s movie way (when he slapped the kid's ass on the way out of the office in the beginning.........), i'm not 100% sure why the ending was the way it was? like, i feel like it would have been more interesting to leave the viewer in suspense of "oh no, will he be believed eventually?? will the pod people take over entirely???" instead of wrapping it up in a neat little bow. also "operator, please wire me in to the fbi/the governor" made me laugh a lot. imagine doing that today.
making: laptop case done!! and i need to try on my tank top to make sure the straps are long enough but that's almost done too. pottery from the week attached as a screenshot of a fb message because i don't want to upload all of them here and can't be assed to paste them all into one canvas haha
misc: just got out of my first grief therapy session and i feel like a wrung-out rag :D which i KNOW means that it's good for me or whatever but ough. oughhh. also something might be really broken with my research stuff. im running something now to see if it fixes it but i have the Fear at the moment. this weekend i am going to drive for an hour to a bigger city to buy glaze because i kinda hate the glaze that my teacher provides, sorry angela, and then that way i can glaze things at home in between classes :3 but i need to figure out something else to do while i'm there so i don't drive an hour each way just for One Thing. i can go to trader joes. i can try and hit some of the good thrift stores. that's probably enough stuff.
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I cannot imagine that you want me. When was the last time you kissed me? Or said my name? When was our last date? When did you last hug me that wasnt out of pity? When have we last cuddled?
When have you last thought of me? When did i last say anything non triggering or non vent to you? When have we last been anywhere near each other? When was the last time you'd look at me? When you'd look in my eyes?
I can kinda get it, especially after today. If i was you i would regret me too. There's not really anything about me that isnt triggering for you.
The drugs which, you say recreational snd i say medical. But who am i to tell you you're wrong. How dare i after i said something knowing it would be bad. The fucking zadr shit. Of course its a bad ship in the full canon, and of course you had a bad fucking go of it previously. Of course i mentioned it wrong, misinterpreting my past memories, seeing the wrong universe. Of course i hurt you and of course you were the one who comforted me. Of course we did things because im an idiot. You probably felt like you had to. Of course i regret it all. I dont regret you, i would love to choose you. But i regret that i let you choose me. Of course im on hormones, the ones that scare you. Of course i merely mentioned them. Of course i ruined that trip. Of course its all been my fault. Of course i made it up here late and clawing and scratching. Of course i still triggered you. Of course i broke your things. Of course i broke several things. Of course i cluttered your space, brought too much. Of course of course i lost my ID and am still STILL failing to replace it. Of course im letting you down, because of course i am.
Why do you let me live here? Guilt that i have nowhere to go? The dog you rescued, hoping he'd find a new home when well enough. Hoping he'd eventually get out. A fun temporary thing. "Married"
Irken married. Why. Why me
When have i brought anything good? When have you asked for me? When was the last time i wasn't alone. Isolated. I pulled away because i could sense that I've been hurting you, and you retracted all the way without hesitating. Im losing you and you would be better off with the other 2. Of course he is replacing me. He's sleeping in the office? Where. When my stuff has been removed? He's excited to live with me too, as i am him. But are you? You haven't seemed to miss me
And maybe i am selfish. Maybe im the asshole. Im actually a narcissist. Im sorry. I'm expectant and needy and listless and useless and stupid. Im unhelpful and lazy. Im so lazy and stupid. I don't help, i make things worse.
How many things have i broken. I promise i have been careful, you wouldn't see it even if you lived in my body. You'd believe all the awful things about ne. You'd know exactly why you should abandon me, dump all my belongings in the yard. Leave me to rot in the rain.
I told you i was a trauma holder. And you left me alone. It was already shaky, our bond. I was relieved, and i told you because i thought things were improving, that my trauma was being treated and we were being soft and warm. I was grateful you were being so affectionate, so gentle. I need absolutely nothing from you, and im sorry im being greedy. One look from you is a blessing very rare few can afford, and you've given me so much more than that. So, so much more than i ever deserved. But how could i tell you any of this. How dare i. What is wrong with me? My problem? How dare i. How dare i. I'm an evil demanding creep. Im not a person and im not irken anymore, im vile.
Im barely conscious anymore. Im alone. I put myself in storage and I'm going to cumulate dust before you can even bear the sight of me.
Im so horrid. Rancid. Bad. It's all my fault and im sorry i didn't protect you. Im sorry that it's my fault and i got you to start trusting me. I broke it immediately somehow, I'm a walking trigger.
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Am curious friendo about how many self inserts you have, what they are from and how they fit into their universes. Gives me a baseline for future questions ^^
crackles knuckles here we go
I have 12 self inserts in total:
Trollhunters: si is a witch, who can manipulate shadows into physical objects, either for summoning weapons or simply knocking people over, and has some ability in hexing folk. The Janus Order, as they serve the Pale Lady, keeps track of witches, and if they find one that is ‘beneficial’ then they infiltrate their life to bring the witch over to the Order eventually.
downside for my si, she ends up on the wrong side of the Atlantic when the Order decides she would be beneficial for them to be assisting in stopping the Trollhunter thanks to her hex ability. except she’s very volatile and Angor Rot doesn’t like witches
they end up being able to find common ground eventually, especially when they are forced to work together.
Critical Role: si is a sorcerer who, having difficulty holding down a job when the employers are naturally terrified of anyone with evil-looking shadow smoke magic, ends up rolling with Gustav’s circus. she arrives after Mollymauk and Yasha, so there’s a few months of adapting and being welcomed before everything goes to hell in a handbasket
she trucks along with Molly and Yasha, quietly doing her best to help keep the Nein safe and hoping no-one decides that she’s the enemy of the day.
Kingdom Hearts: si is a human with some good magical capability, mostly in regards to weapon summoning and less proficient in world-hopping portals (in that she can do it, but she can’t focus on where she’s going and it’s entirely possible the portal simply Won’t Happen)
so during one of these portal-hopping incidents she ends up in the World That Never Was. yeah, the portals are very volatile. Axel finds her hiding in a corridor terrified out of her mind and he works with Roxas and Xion to try and hide her away until the panic of an intruder has died down. this ultimately back-fires, and my si ends up managing to persuade Xemnas to let her work along the Organisation as a spy to other worlds, someone who isn’t a Nobody and wouldn’t be picked up on so quickly.
it works. and now she spends downtime with Axel, Demyx and co., living in the Castle.
Hellboy: si is…..well she’s human for the most part. at some point in her life she was smacked with a curse that meant if her heart rate got above a certain threshold, she would turn into a huge bear-wolf monster with a skull for a face.
after a few ‘whumping out’ incidents, she decides to turn herself over to the BPRD for safety, and ends up on the team with Hellboy, Abe and Liz. life is balancing work in the field and trying not to die or accidentally brutalise a solider, and managing the fine line between chaos and normality of downtime in the BPRD headquarters.
Marvel Cinematic Universe: si is human for the most part, bar the ability to summon her familiar, named ‘Dog’….a huge bear-wolf monster with a skull for a face (look I like my Grimm). the only thing that can stop Dog from coming out to play is intense concentrated light.
this is the MCU so honestly my si and Dog can be running around all over the place and getting into trouble. at one point she ends up at the Avengers headquarters with a torso peppered with gunshot, at another point she’s managed to make her way across to New York. she goes where she pleases, and you can be sure chaos will follow soon after.
Star Wars (Rebels/Clone Wars): ok, this is one of the few where my si is straight-up me shunted into another universe. I have all my Star Wars knowledge on hand, which quickly turns me into a suspicious but helpful ally.
what is more, it’s Rebels/Clone Wars because….well, some time-shift bullshit happens and I start getting pinged between timelines. it’s random, not very helpful, and especially peculiar for people either side (I meet Hondo for the first time 10 cycles after he meets me for the last time, I suddenly appear to exhibit much better sniping capabilities thanks to several months in the past practising them). there’s also the matter of I am perfectly capable of taking canon events and slam-dunking them in the trash, causing reality to do a double take and various combustion and electrical abilities to manifest in me.
however I am also just over 20 years old and that significantly buffers any potential carnage I could cause if faced off against a main villain.
FFXV (?): question-mark is in place because this universe is very higgle-piggle. si is a Hunter with basic weapon summoning and can craft elemental grenades. she’s also missing two years of memory between living at home in Tenebrae and living in Lestallum.
so, she Hunts. she takes odd jobs. at one point she’s contracted to escort a Prince and his friends from Lestallum to the coast.
Person of Interest: normally I like to keep to the status of the universe in regards to how much magic is normally shown in them. Star Wars universe is a loose exception. Person of Interest is a VERY HEAVY exception.
si is a human with electrical manipulation. nothing fancy like lightning strikes, more like capable of giving a taser zap or turning machines on/off. she comes to Manhattan on holiday and doesn’t take much time before dropping into the path of Samaritan vs. Team Machine. the addition of even more science-fiction upturns the playing field, and she does her best to assist the team despite not being military trained and even when her number comes up.
Infamous: Second Son: this one is more of a ‘give me a playing field for new powers’. si is a Conduit with the capability to travel through mirrors and other reflective surfaces. it makes her a useful scout - dip in, get information, jump into the nearest mirror before someone can stop her.
I never really got around to planning any interactions with canon characters or plot, if anything she could’ve been a hireable side-character that could scout a place that could then give Delsin/the player more info on the mini-map.
Ratchet & Clank: si is a human. just human. no magic, no special anything. the only significant thing is that instead of being on Earth, she ends up on an alien planet very much too far from home.
The Smuggler steps up when someone tries to pawn her off in a black market, and from then on it’s classes in smuggling, thievery, and Big. Fucking. Guns.
Fullmetal Alchemist: cackling oooooooh boy. oh boy. like Kingdom Hearts, this one went through a few conversions until I settled on something I liked
my si in this universe is in pure chaotic trickster mode. just so long as she doesn’t kill anyone, she is down for anything with any party. coming in equipped with ‘screw the rules I have lightning’, I won’t actually use my powers until actually threatened.
Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them: si is ya bogstandard Slytherin graduate from Hogwarts. decides to become an animagus, signs up on the list of animagi and promptly disappears to Poland until she’s recruited by Newt as an artist for his book.
turns out her process to become an animagus was interrupted and her animal form irreparably malformed, becoming a horse-sized wolfhound that leaks magic and doesn’t have total human cognition. oops.
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Star Wars Movie Pride Headcanons
Obviously I can't do all the characters in Star Wars (movies or otherwise) so today I'll start with just the movie characters I find important or just fun!
Of course, these are just my opinions and it's totally cool if you have different ideas. Art is subjective and there are plenty of ways to engage with said art. This is just for my personal fun.
Luke Skywalker (he/him): Bisexual
I know people like Gay!Luke and that's totally fine, but... I just think of Legends!Luke and his wonderful wife Mara Jade, and I think Luke Skywalker is a man who can appreciate both Mara Jade and Ezra Bridger! Would be open to polyamory if it was like a throuple situation and everybody loved everybody.
Leia Organa (she/her): Bisexual
Now, I know the Leia book says she only likes humanoid males, but as someone who had a crush on both twins growing up, this headcanon is for me personally.
Han Solo (he/him): Bisexual
Okay, so most of these are going to be bisexual because I'm a stupid bisexual and I said so. Han Solo would flirt with anyone in the galaxy, including but not limited to Qi'ra, Lando Calrissian, Leia Organa, and Luke Skywalker.
Chewbacca (he/him): Ally (?)
Idk, tbh. He's got a wife and kid, and I think he thinks gay people are neat.
C-3PO and R2D2: Queer-platonic
They're droids and even though I do think droids can develop attraction like bio-species, I don't think these droids feel any attraction. Doesn't mean they don't have chemistry with each other though.
Lando Calrissian (he/they): Pansexual
He fucks. Everybody. I think Lando would be hand-wavy about gender. Most people use he/him with Lando, but they also enjoy they/them pronouns. Totally chill with polyamory.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (he/him): Graysexual
I really don't think this man knew he could have attraction until he met Satine Kryze. He just didn't think about it. It's not important. He probably scoffed at people who had issues following the Jedi Code. "What, like it's hard??"
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (he/him): Hetero-flexible
My man loves his wife (to quite an extreme degree actually). He's pretty sure he's straight? He's never thought of anybody but Padmé so it's not like he's really explored more. He wouldn't be opposed to dating men or other genders, though.
Wilhuff Tarkin (he/him): mlm
The only reason I'm including him on my list is because it's actually canon. He likes men. That's all I know on that front. I just had to include it because I was flabbergasted.
Yoda (he/him): Aro/Ace
All Yoda knows is talk funny, eat hot chip, and lie. (but actually he's a very wise master and mentor who loves his students and loves pulling a prank or two).
Padmé Naberrie/Amidala (she/her): Ally
Padmé loves her friends and family. She'd defend them with her life. I don't think homophobia exists in most areas of the SW universe, but if there was ever a time her friends felt marginalized, she'd be there to defend them. Whether that required just a simple talk, all the way to "aggressive negotiations."
Qui-Gon Jinn (he/him): Asexual
He feels like he could like somebody in a romantic sense. I don't think he'd hold on too heavily to the Jedi Code either. He just doesn't have the time. He's also never really wanted the sexual aspects of a relationship. I bet he gave all his Padawans "the talk" though.
Mace Windu(he/him): Aro/Ace
...and judgmental about it. Very sex-repulsed. He's not homophobic. He hates all PDA equally. Don't kiss in front of him. He will gag.
Rey (she/her): Pansexual
She just has a whole lotta love to give. :)
Finn (he/him): Bisexual
Rey's really hot. Poe's really hot. Why is everyone so hot???
Poe Dameron (he/him): Gay
Gay. Gay. Homosexual. Gay. (This is for Oscar Isaac. Luv u bby 😘) Poe looked at Finn like he was the first drop of water in the desert. And I think that's beautiful.
Rose Tico (she/her): Queer. Non-Binary.
Rose knows who she likes. She doesn't need a label to save what she loves. I think she still likes she/her pronouns, but doesn't necessarily like the label "woman."
That's the list! I'll be doing more Star Wars queer headcanons for people outside of the movies too! So be looking out for that, if you've read this far! Let me know if I've missed someone important from the movies and I'll add it later!
#star wars#lgbt pride#pride month#lgbtq#luke skywalker#leia organa#han solo#lando calrissian#chewbacca#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#padme naberrie#yoda#c 3po#r2d2#qui gon jinn#mace windu#rey sw#finn sw#poe dameron#rose tico#bisexual#pansexual#gay#nonbinary#asexual#aromantic#queer
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3, 11, 20, 75 please -hazel
yes i WILL answer these! and then i will go fix my slides on the final project. i am a terrible person. the worst, some might say
3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself? yes! both! i am kind of weird about it. there's probably a psychological basis for why i share some ideas but keep others under lock & key, but i don't want to psychoanalyze myself tonight, so let's just say it's fairly random. if a particular idea is giving me trouble though then i will definitely share them with someone, usually megs or meghna or you sometimes, to help me brainstorm a solution. actually literally today (no. last night??? yeah last night) megs solved a big ol fic problem i was having. that's not really relevant, i just wanted to give megs a shoutout.
11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around? i try my level best to write in order. on occasion i'll be struck by a piece or a few sections of an idea that i'll write out, and then when i go to flesh out the idea i realize i have to write around them and in between the existing scenes, and in those cases i necessarily have to write out of order, but if at all possible, i write in order. i just find it a lot easier for my brain, because time goes in order, so. like. yeah.
i will say as a disclaimer to this: when i say in order, i mean in chronological order. so i think that hypothetically if i was writing a fic with a non-linear narrative, i would maybe try writing that in chronological order and then breaking it up and rearranging it. actually, i'm thinking about the merrikat today was a fairytale/stay stay stay fic and i feel like i wrote that one out of order, but it did feel like i was writing two different fics - one for timeline A, and one for timeline B several years later. if that makes sense. anyway the point is. in order when possible.
20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics? canon! to be honest i never realized just how much i love writing canon compliant or canon mostly-compliant, mildly-divergent fics, but recently it's come to my attention that...like...i almost exclusively write that shit. when it comes to fictional media, that is. rpf is a different story because it's all technically AU/non-canon (because what even is canon for real people lol) so in those cases i think i weigh canon and AU equally. but when there's actual source material, i really like writing within the sandbox of the source material. sometimes i do some canon divergence to, like, make a character be alive who died in canon because i think their death is bullshit, or have two characters be dating in the background when they weren't in the show, or incorporate some fun fanon like making a character jewish who really deserved to be jewish in the first place, but generally, it's most fun for me to take existing canon characters, with all (or almost all) their canon experiences/memories/trauma, and just. see what they do.
75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect? fucking spiderman lashton got so much traction. like SO much more attention than i was expecting. i shit you not while i was writing that fic i was like this is so dumb this is so silly this is so stupid and then i posted it (didnt even make a PROPER LINK POST, just made a textpost and put the link in the text) and somehow that bullshit became one of my most popular fics, stats-wise. like three different people have made moodboards for that fic. LIKE????? i'm not complaining because i really enjoy spidey lashton it's a funny fic very lighthearted very enjoyable but i swear to god i was not expecting it to be NEARLY as popular as it became. like that fic was posted in june 2020. that was. like. i had had my bellawritess ao3 for a month at that point. JUST ONE MONTH!!!!!!!! WHO WAS OUT HERE FINDING THAT FIC??????
fanfiction writing asks!
#if tumblr had not been down that night spidey lashton would never have been written probably can you believe that#can you believe one of my most popular fics (literally top 10. out of two hundred and twenty fics.) only exists because#my favorite social media website malfunctioned at a critical time of night#WILD#these are such good questions hazel i really love these ones#ask#hazel#allsassnoclass#fic talk#don't know if this counts as fic talk
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Hii Sync, it’s the anon from the marry/fuck/kill with Nero/Vergil/Dante (from ages ago) here! Hope you’re doing well <3
I was also the one who sent the video where the camera zooms in and focuses on Vergil’s huge SDT ass but dumb me forgot to identify myself. (；ω；) I can say I was really distracted by Vergil’s uhm, assets.
Anyways, I read this in a comment today and I’m not sure why but it reminded me so much of you:
“A hero would sacrifice you to save the world. A villain would sacrifice the world to save you."
—
On a different note, I’d like to thank you for all the stories you craft and share with us. I know I said it before, but the way you develop established characters and create amazing OCs is just <chef’s kiss>.
Also, I don’t know if this is the proper place to ask since you have a dedicated blog for the theme, but which Yakuza should I play first? My bf bought Yakuza Zero on a sale and it’s been sitting on my game library for ages - partially because he forgot to tell me 😅 and I ended up buying/playing other stuff in the meantime.
I can’t wait to dive into the Yakuza series so I can fully appreciate your non-DMC works <3
Whoaaa that was a long time ago. 😮 But I'm happy that there's at least another sort of like... familiar nonnie floating around. It's somehow nice and cozy like this, despite not knowing who you are. Maybe one day, I'll have a name to put to the sunglasses icon. 😌
Also skdofh ahhh I love those kinda comments, because it's so legit though. Like... is this not why we love our villain characters? What's the point if our S/O doesn't set a planet or two aflame just for one last embrace? 👀 Imagine Actual Demon King Vergil razing the human world just to find you. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Ghhgghh thank you so much though nonnie. 😭💖 Fleshing out characters is just so much damn fun for me, so I'm thrilled to know it's a ride for others too. 🥺 It's all the more satisfying for characters like Credo who got so little in canon. I've said time and time again that he's probably unrecognisable from the canon version, but when it comes to expanding on a character's goals and personality and ambitions and all that, if you give me an inch, I will take a mile. I just have so much damn fun with it. 😭
BUT AH. YES. YAKUZIES. 👀👀👀👀👀👀 Your bf is a blessing, because 0 is probably the best place for you to start! 0 serves as a prequel to the whole series and delves into the past of two very established characters. The game shows us a little of what they were like before Yakuza 1, and the circumstances that shaped them into the men they are. 😌🙏 That being said, you do lose a tiny portion of the impact Y0 has, just because you don't have that basis of reference for what their personalities are usually like in the main series, but it's pretty insignificant in the grander scheme of things imo because Y0 is by far the most polished and well rounded experience the series has to offer, so it's a good starting point to get you acquainted with what the series brings to the table! Whether it was grabbed on sale or not, you're bound to get your money's worth out of it!
And then from there, you just play the games in numerical order! So from Y0 it'll go Kiwami 1 -> Kiwami 2 -> 3 HD Remaster -> 4 HD Remaster -> 5 HD Remaster -> 6 -> 7/Like A Dragon.
There's of course my baby Judgment too, which canonically slots in between Yakuza 6 and Like A Dragon, but it's a completely separate story and not at all related to any of the plot/characters presented in the main series BUT IS ABSOLUTELY STILL WORTH PLAYING IT HAS A VERY VERY VERY GOOD STORY AND THE MAIN CAST IS ADORABLE AND HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC AND ALSO HIGASHI JUDGMENT IS MY FAVOURITE IT IS GOOD AND COOL AND FUN AND FUNNY AND THE COMBAT WAS THE BEST IT HAS EVER BEEN I LOVE THIS GAME A NORMAL AMOUNT IT IS NOT AT ALL ABSURD PLAY JUDGEMTN
It's.. very daunting when I put it all out this way, and I'm not meaning to pressure you or anything; I'm just laying the road map on the table for you is all, in case you wanted to reference it later. 💖 All of the games after Y0 are available on PS4/xbox as well as steam too, so whichever your platform of choice, the games will be waiting for you if you decide you'd like to dive in!! They each have their flaws imo, some more products of their time than others, but they all offer great stories, characters, dynamics and soundtracks. 👀 The OSTs are almost always complete bangers. 🤣 AND THE DYNAMIC BOSS INTRODUCTIONS OMG...
BUT YES THERE YOU HAVE IT. I hope you find the time to sit down with Yakuza 0 soon nonnie!! And I'd love to know what you think about it too 👀👀
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