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drmslastmorning · 1 month

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Sixteenth Day Event Prompt:

Forgiveness & Loneliness

Phantom pain / the rupture

Characters: Dream, Tommyinnit

Words: 2.2k (one-shot)

Warnings: nothing for once! maybe past mentions of abuse, torture. the usual prison talk.

Dream's been staying with Technoblade for a bit. Tommy gets talked into entertaining the idea of a conversation between them.

Dream places down a rock next to a few others. He looks like a child collecting rocks, surely even Techno would send mocking laughter his way if he saw him right now. The loneliness he feels without the other feels misplaced, but it's almost like he's homesick. Well, he guesses this cabin is his home, so he shouldn't be, but when he's alone, it just feels like that, a cabin. He doesn't feel at home. Tommy wants to make fun of him, but the comment gets stuck in his throat.

"You look like shit," Tommy utters instead and he feels it's the most neutral thing he could've said. He doesn't have many positive words for the man across the room, nor does he plan on developing any. He's not quite sure why he's entertaining the thought of even talking to each other: as if that'd make a difference to the past. (It could make a difference for your future!), he recounts Phil's words in his head and massages his forehead with a sigh. He wonders if it's worth the hassle and he supposes it has to be, he's already here now. No backing out.

"Thanks." Dream swallows flatly and if he could disappear into the wall he's suddenly leaning against, he would. The room's illuminated by the fireplace and 2 gently lit lanterns, which Dream is still getting used to. He's not quite sure he'll ever be truly comfortable with the crackling of fire and the way it illuminates the room, but it's what makes Techno the most comfortable, so he supposes he'll put up with it. (He hasn't mentioned his discomfort, doesn't plan to.)

"So," Dream takes the lead, even though his throat dries up instantly. "Techno said to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"That makes two of us." He mimics Tommy's sigh and it makes the other narrow his eyes at him.

"You're full of shit. I don't think you'd tell me a single truthful word." His voice drips with venom and it's increasingly clear that little will be achieved this way. He's unsure why Techno and Phil thought it would be a great idea to leave them alone like this. Hopefully Techno would be back soon.

Dream nods. "Let it out," he says in a manner that could be mistaken to be mocking, but he's mimicking again- This time the way Techno lets him go out on his cynical monologues. It does weirdly help when you're not being taken seriously whatsoever, as frustrating as it feels when you are monologuing.

"Don't make it sound like you care for what I have to say to you, shithead," Tommy curses, crossing his arms, sinking into the couch he's sitting on. Dream standing and him sitting gives him a weird feeling of power dynamic, but standing up would be admitting such and for once he's aware that he is simply imagining the notion. It's not mutual and if he acknowledges it it'll only give Dream an advantage - whatever that may mean in a situation such as this.

"This is pointless."

"I have to agree," Dream nods again, shaky fingers reaching out for one of the bigger rocks. They're cold, even though the room temperature feels like it's only getting warmer. It's probably not, but he feels like the heat is closing in on him. Every inch of his body hurts, it's phantom pains, Techno described it as. No shit, Dream had responded to that, he's not stupid.

"Do you want to leave?"

"I do," Tommy whispers, but shakes his head. "But I fucking- I guess I want peace too? You're- I don't ever feel at peace when you're there. But neither do I when- When you're not there." He just wants to feel alright. He wants to be capable of sitting here without feeling hands on his shoulder and hearing Dreams voice as if it was right by his ear and feeling like every inch of his body is owned by someone other than him.

"Right." Dream thought that's what it is and he can't blame him for the paranoia, considering he's the very source of it. "I don't have any motive to hurt you," he says, carefully.

Weirdly enough, the rocks do provide a source of comfort. Cold helps him ground himself, it helps him remember that he's not surrounded by obsidian and cut off from the world by a lava stream. But that's about as much as they do and he can't help but feel a little childish standing in the corner, holding rocks in between fingers and prosthetics Phil crafted for him. He's really good at making those and Dream's never asked why. He wonders, though.

"That's- that's the exact opposite of comforting. What the hell would you do if you did, huh?"

"Maybe I would hurt you then, yeah."

"Right. Fuckin'- Of course you didn't learn shit. I know you haven't changed a bit." Tommy feels a little ridiculous saying this to the pitiful mess cowering against the wall, but after years of paranoia it feels a little like instinct. He barks because he doesn't really have enough of a bite. But he's too scared to shut his stupid mouth. He'd bite, but Phil told him not to and for once in his life Tommy feels he should mature a little and listen. He knows, such a shocker.

"Eh, I'd say I've changed," the taller(or is he? Dream doesn't really know anymore.) hybrid rolls the rock between his shaking fingers, leaning his head against the wall. He feels dizzy, but there's nowhere nearby to sit down. His balance hasn't been the same, he still looks so much smaller than he did before. Tommy is really thin, but he feels even he's got more meat on his bones right now.

"Maybe not for the better like you seem to have- hoped. Sorry about that." His words feel mocking even to Dream himself, but he doesn't have the energy to put any empathy in his words. It wouldn't be true anyways, because he doesn't truly feel sorry. When he sees Tommy like that, he feels nothing but his usual sadistic streak biting at the back of his throat, he wants to fall back into every habit he learned in the past years. (Changing means the prison meant nothing. Getting better means the prison meant nothing. Regaining friendships and forgiveness and gentleness and kindness means the prison meant fucking nothing and he endured what he did for fucking nothing. The thought sends him spiraling.) His whole body aches. Changing means the prison means nothing. Changing means all of his trauma was for nothing. Being all buddy-buddy with Techno means distancing himself from everyone was for nothing.

But he feels lonely. It's so laughable. He went through so much and now he feels like it was easier to deal with when he was rotting in prison. Now it just hurts and he has to confront it.

"Right-- Right you fucking are," Tommy hisses, finally getting off from the couch he's sitting on. He can't bear the perceived oppression any longer and he hates the way Dream winces into the wall when he does. He hates the way he can't take his eyes off him and he hates the pitiful way he's looking at him. "God damn, Dream. You look really damn pitiful right now, do you know that?" He hates it. His tail whips against the couch behind him, almost in a painful manner.

Dream closes his eyes with a nod. "Mhm."

"I don't accept your apology, by the way."

"That's okay. I didn't mean it anyways," Dream admits, opening his eyes again. He's disoriented for a moment, before he finds Tommy again. He seems to have wandered around the room, closer to the fireplace. An intrusive thought itches him to push him into the flames, but he doesn't. He doesn't think he'd succeed anyways, and he's not sure if the fact that it seems impossible is the only thing stopping him. If it is, he must be closer to the Dream Tommy is seeing than even he thought he was. The pain didn't make him a better person. Unsurprising to the both of them. Pain didn't make either of them any better.

"Techno's really betting on the fact that you've changed," Tommy comments, finally having managed to tear his gaze from the other.

"I never promised him anything." It comes out a lot more defensively than he means it to.

"Well, I guess you haven't killed me. You've got that going for you," he exclaims sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe I'm just waiting for you to lower your guard."

"I could just kill you, too," the blonde says, looking back at Dream. They exchange stares.

"You could." Dream nods, breathing out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "But I don't think Techno would forgive you for that one."

"Hah. He doesn't care about me anyways. Why else do you think he's putting me in the same four walls as you?" Tommy grits his fists and he really wants to punch Dream. Maybe he could take that last life of his the same way he did his.

"I don't know. Certainly not for me. I barely even think about you anymore." That statement feels like a sting to his fucking chest and it snaps something inside of him. He stomps over to Dream and when he's standing in front of him, he suddenly feels taller. That wasn't the way he expected to feel so close to someone he fears so much more when he isn't even there. He hates that he isn't even scared of him.

"Are you going to punch me?" Dream looks at Tommy, and he does feel smaller. He's not sure if he actually is, it's been a while since they've been friendly enough to compare heights and last time he stood in front of him he was wearing platforms. He doesn't have the balance for those anymore.

"I was going to." Tommy is trembling. "I was fucking going to, Dream."

"Well, I'm not stopping you." Not that he could, anyways. He thinks about Techno, and he wonders how Techno would react if he returned to him dead on the floor. He's almost tempted to find out. He guesses he wouldn't see it, if he did die.

"Your pitiful act's working really well," Tommy curses under his breath and Dream wants to respond that it's not an act, but when he opens his mouth no sound comes out. Really proving the pitiful part of what Tommy said. Tommy can't do it. He wants to and he balls his fist and he feels like a fucking puppet on a string but he just can't do it.

"I'm not-- Yeah, you know what? I'm better than that. I'm not going to punch you. You're a fucking parasite, but I'm not going to fucking punch you."

Dream doesn't know how to argue against that. He doesn't know if it makes Tommy much better if he won't punch him. He'd almost argue he'd be doing them all a favor.

"It's not going to bring me fucking peace if I do. Your fucking- You're going to be a parasite regardless of if I kill you. It won't get you out of my head."

"Sorry about that," Dream says again, and it makes Tommy grit his teeth.

"Do you mean that?"

"I don't know."

"That's what I fucking thought. Your empty apologies mean fucking nothing to me." Tommy shakes his head, then steps away from him again. "I don't forgive you. I'm never going to." He feels so fucking lonely in Dreams presence. But it's almost worse when he's completely alone. He finds himself wondering if he should just run away. It's not worth it to wait for Techno to return. This is pointless.

Dream bites his lip. "Are you going to tell Sam?"

"Tell Sam what, bitch?"

Dream doesn't respond. He's not quite sure why he asked about Sam. Instinct, perhaps. He still sees him in everything. He still fears him too much.

"He knows you're here. He's the one who keeps warning me about you. The way he talks about you fucking weirds me out, actually." Tommy grabs a log and tosses it into the dying fire and for a moment he wonders how it'd feel to throw himself into the flames. He doesn't. It's a suicidal thought he hasn't had in a while. Maybe being around Dream is actually just making him worse again.

"So I haven't really- been talking to him. What am I going to tell him? Oh, Dream tried apologizing to me. Techno wanted me to fucking forgive him, by the way. Yeah, they've been fucking." Tommy snorts, falling onto the rug with a sigh, crossing his legs.

Dreams breath feels too short. His breathing is really shallow. "We haven't-"

"Whatever, man. Until you realize the fucking- Damage you did to me nothing is going to change."

A swallow. "I do. But I can't really force myself to feel bad for you."

Tommy laughs dryly. "Well, at least you're honest. I'll give you that, Dream."

"Thanks?"

"Let's wait for Techno in silence?," Tommy offers, having given up on the banter.

Dream laughs, a bit more genuine. "Yeah, sure."

#sixteenth-day-event #zzzz #I hate this but it's better than nothing #ask #cdream #sixteenthdayevent #cdiscduo #cdiskduo #yaft dream #yaft tommy

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