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#tobio angst
shoutaswhore · 2 years
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&burn • tobioxfem!reader
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wc: 315
warnings: none just a little bit of angst :)
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"lips meet teeth and tongue" you speak as you kiss him for the last time, walking away as tobio grabs your wrist, tears in his eyes.
tobio is crying now, "my heart skips eight beats at once" his words aee coming out as sobs. but he can't make himself look at you
"your love feels so fake" you snarl at your once boyfriend. you had caught him kissing a fan after a game, her hands in his hair as they made out.
"baby please, let me explain" you won't let him say anything, he knew better then to talk to you when you were mad.
5 years together and a ring on your finger, yet he was still kissing fans.
"if we were meant to be..." you cut yourself off, unable to keep speaking as you compose yourself, not wanting to cry, "we would've been by now"
your voice cracks as the tears start to flow, "see what you wanna see but all i see is him right now" you refer to the days when you had first met him, the guy who was obsessed with kissing groupies.
he loved the attention, he adored it. but when he saw you, it all fell into place, or you had thought.
"go ahead and watch my heart burn" you bute at him, your words like hot needles against his heart.
"y/n... i love you so much" he begs you to stay with those words that mean nothing now.
"how do i know you hadn't kissed others!?" it's obvious you are in a state of heartbreak, "how many-" you lick your lips to get the last taste of tobio off them.
"your lies will never keep, i think you need to blow them out" you spit at him again, he's not seeing how mad you are, not yet.
"8-8-2015, i still remember that" the day you met, "heaven sent a present my way" your anniversary was a day you both remembered, they were always lavish. he made sure of that, pampered you, treated you like the princess you deserve to be.
"i won't forget your laugh" he mumbles, still unable to look up at you, unable to look at the woman he made his with a ring, with a baby on the way.
"found guilty in the court of aorta" you walk away from him, dropping the shared house keys in his hand.
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ilylovelyz · 9 months
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⍣ ೋ the times they cried because of you
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☆ includes ushijima, iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama, bokuto
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USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI — he never cries. you met this guy when the two of you were young freshman in high-school, and you quickly became a good friend of his. that being said, you never saw him cry. even when the two of you began dating in your senior year, you still never did. years passed, and it was the same as the previous years. sure, he occasionally got upset, but even then, he still put on a stoic display, never really letting you in on that side of him. even at your wedding, he sure showed some emotion but he didn't cry. then came the birth of your first child.
"she's so cute, isn't she 'toshi..?" you said weakly, forehead still damp with sweat, bodu trembling with the aftershocks of your hard, long labor. your eyes fluttered open, focusing on the sight of your dear wakatoshi holding your newborn baby.
your heart fluttered at the soft image of your husband holding the tiny baby closely again his chest, his forehead mere inches away from the baby's forehead. it was barely there, barely noticeable. if it weren't for the reflection of light, then you wouldn't have been able to see the way his eyes were glazed over, corners red, tears brimming at the borderlines of his eyes.
he was so memorized, so in love with this product of you, this product of his and your love. god, you just make him the happiest guy on earth.
with a grunt, he sniffled lightly, trying to mask his emotions. "yeah.."
IWAIZUMI HAJIME — he hates crying. but being the responsible and knowing person he is, he knows that crying is inevitable. but the "strong", reliable guy in him wants to punch himself every-time he feels his eyes sting at the feel of salty tears brimming at his waterline. unbeknownst to you, he would avoid you every-time he felt like he was going to cry, usually hiding in the locked confides of the bathroom. he thought he was hiding it well, until one fateful day where it all came crashing down..
"haji?" you said on the other side of the door. he immediately shot up, his eyes darting to the doorknob. he always made sure to lock it, but today, he was just so exhausted and down that the idea of a lock was forgotten. crap, "hey wait-," before he could even rise up from his slouched kneeling position on the bathtub's side, you opened the door unknowingly. "i just need my–hajime?"
there he was, in all of his fucking glory, hunched over, his face long and clearly expressing his hurt feelings. his heart fell to his stomach, his vision going cloudy as his day just kept getting worse. "hajime?" you called out once more, only your tone had softened, more light and tender. you reached a hand out to him, eyes full of concern. he couldn't help but jolt away from your hand, eyebrows furrowing at your softness.
he didn't like your tone. why are you looking at him like that? like some sad kicked puppy lost in the middle of nowhere? it made him feel so small, so weak. "haji.. are you okay?" you whispered, crouching down to his level outside of the bathtub. you attempted yet again to touch the side of his face, lightly pressing your fingertips against his cheekbone before fully pressing your palm against the side of his face.
his lips trembled as he was just a second away from breaking down, his eyes locked on a single object as to hold on to the last of his will. you sighed softly at his resistance, of course he wouldn't want to cry in front of you, but you don't understand why, afterall, what makes a person weak for crying? "it's okay, hajime."
with that, fat tears finally ran down his cheeks, his eyes shutting close as he finally broke at your words. he could only grab onto your hand as you climbed into the tub, his head going straight into your chest as he sobbed and wailed.
MIYA ATSUMU — surprisingly, you've seen this guy cry many of times before. he cried when getting accepted into nationals, winning nationals, just crying at things any normal person would do. but he never cried for you. no, he held himself to higher standards. he'd never cry for someone, not even for you. yeah, he loved you, but he wasn't about to cry for someone like a little child. all high and mighty, he never thought you would actually have an affect on him like you do now. him being someone who wears his heart proudly on his sleeve, he found himself getting into an argument late at night with you, too prideful to back down.
"are you serious atsumu?! you know i'd never do that!" you yelled, voice hoarse and scratchy due to the ongoing screaming match between you and your boyfriend. "oh really?! then why were ya' 'll over that fucker earlier? huh?!" he yelled back, pointing out the way you were seemingly flirting with a guy at the club earlier.
but you weren't? you would never do that, you're not a scum. "what?! we were just talking?! am i not allowed to TALK to people atsumu?" you scoffed, arms crossing defensively. "if you wanna consider talking as flirting, then let's talk about that girl you were laughing with the other day? huh? let's talk about that!"
his eyebrow raised at your counter, fumbling nervously as he wondered what to say. "w-wh- you know what?! fuck you! i don't know why i'm even dating a bitch like you!" he said, almost immediately regretting his words when he saw the way your eye's widened at his harsh words. the apartment was finally silent as you registered his words, he wishes you had any sort of expression on your face, but you had nothing but a stoic and emotionless face.
"okay then," you finally said, arching your eyebrow in a taunting way, resting your hand down on your hip. "bye." you followed, grabbing your bag and your keys, turning your back on him.
he watched, frozen in his spot as you exited out the apartment with your composure. his body jolted when he heard the slam of the front door, finally letting out that breath he was unknowingly holding. he scoffed at what you said, clenching his jaw tightly as he tried to hold onto his pride. "damn it." he said.
he felt the tear roll down his cheek before he could even register that he was crying. "..damn it!"
KAGEYAMA TOBIO — to him, life is volleyball. his childhood consisted nothing of volleyball, and so will his adulthood. maybe his obsession with volleyball was a little extreme, but you never really minded. he respected you greatly for your patience, he wasn't dumb, he knew that his priority of volleyball was evident, so he always tried to make it up to you by spending time with you whenever you wanted. but it seemed like after awhile, he began to take your patience for granted. it wasn't until the nth time when he didn't show up for the nth date was when he realized.
kageyama was careful to shut the front door as quiet as he could, tiptoeing as he took off his shoes and walked throughout the dark hallways and into the master-bedroom. he jolted like a cat when he sat you sitting up on the side of the bed, back facing the doorway.
"y-you scared me. what are you doing up at this time? it's nearly 10PM." he stuttered obliviously. it was silent for a few seconds before you sighed, slowly turning your head to face him. "you forgot." you muttered before turning back to look at the wall. forgot? forgot what? it was then he noticed the way your hair was done, still clad in a pretty dress.
"o-oh.. the date! i-i'm sorry y/n, i promise i can make it up to you"— "don't bother." you interrupted, voice stern yet monotonous. what do you mean 'don't bother?' you love going on dates don't you? his lips pursed into a straight line, chewing on his bottom lips nervously. "w-what do you mean? i really promise, this thursday i have a free day.." he trailed off when you suddenly stood up from the bed.
"i mean that i think we should break up." his heart dropped at your words, eyes widening. break up? his mouth was agape, mind spinning with different solutions and apologies. before he could detest, you walked over to the corner of the room, pulling up a suitcase that he didn't even notice.
"b-but why? you said yourself that me and you are meant to be together?" he cried out, quickly rushing over to your side and grabbing onto your wrist. he watched your face closely, eyes taking note of every single feature of yours. you inhaled deeply, still refusing to look at him.
"i said that when we were in high-school and didn't have any major responsibilities. things have changed, we aren't in high-school any more. you're now a pro-volleyball player with big responsibilities, and i'm.. someone who clearly has too much time on their hands, wasting it on someone who can't give me any of theirs. it's not your fault, kageyama, but we just don't align anymore."
you finally said, tugging your hand away from his grasp. before you could take a step, his hands were once again on you, gripped onto your shoulders, forcing you to look at him. "but.. you said you would be there for my game at nationals.." he whimpered out, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
it was then, when you were finally walking out of his apartment, out of his life, was when he finally did realize, that maybe, he did take your patience for granted..
BOKUTO KOUTARO — this guy cries a lot. he's cried so many times you might have to start writing it down somewhere. he rarely masks his emotions, he's an open book. thats what you love so much about him, that he's so open and honest. you love the way he's so eager and sweet, you love the way he's always willing to talk to you and so damn clingy it's like you have your own personal koala. aside from the times he's happy, he's sad, sad because he didn't perform well, or because you didn't kiss him. but you never really made him cry, you'd never do that. or so you thought.
"y/n!! i missed you!" you hear a booming voice yell, his footsteps speeding up at the sight you. he paid no mind when you didn't respond to him, as you were currently hunched over the your work desk, laptop gleaming at you brightly. your back was turned to him, so you were basically calling him for a back hug.
"y/n!" — "not now koutaro." you interrupted, tone serious and stern. he raised his eyebrows at you with surprise, his arms a few inches away from your shoulders as they stilled in their preparation to hug you. "babe? is something wrong?" he asked curiously, lips pouting at your stern denial. you never decline a hug. you love them. right?
"i'm working. can't you see that?" you spit out, sighing deeply. you pull away your cramping fingers away from your keyboard, rubbing them over your sore eyes. "my gosh." you mumble under your breath, eyebrows intensely furrowed with stress. you had been working for a few hours straight, staring at nothing but a bright screen with words that were becoming incoherent to you.
you yelp out when you're suddenly pulled from your chair, being lifted up into bokuto's strong arms as he spins you around. "don't be so sad!" he says cheerfully, hoping to cheer you up with a big warm hug. only— this seems to make you mad. "put me down, koutaro!" you yell, pushing his chest away and forcing him to practically drop you.
"don't you see i'm working?! why are you so damn clingy? you're so annoying, god, why don't you just leave me alone?" you spit out. your words are like venom, stinging his heart greatly as his hair is quickly deflating once your words reach his ears. you simply return to your laptop once you've finished, typing mindlessly once more.
him? annoying? he didn't mean to annoy you..
he couldn't help but softly whimper, left standing in shock. he opened his mouth to say something before your previous words were reminding him to stay silent—leave me alone. he clutched his palms, looking at your turned back with teary eyes. he hopes you don't find him annoying for long..
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beanschan · 1 month
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i was making too much fluff as of late so here's some doomed kagehina </3
i found this ref and its so good as a ship redraw (if anyone knows the artist pls lmk)
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godkeis · 2 years
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𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.
characters: t. kei, k. tobio & k. shinsuke
genre: hurt/comfort
word count: around 1k
content warnings: arguments, blaming, cursing, mentions of insecurity
summary: how would haikyuu boys react when you walk out during an argument part one.
part ii. | part iii.
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TSUKISHIMA KEI
Arguments with Kei usually arise whenever he starts crossing the line with his snarky and sarcastic remarks. There are times when he doesn’t know to limit himself when he blurts out things as if they are some kind of joke most of the time. When you started opening up to him regarding your recent insecurity and he slammed you with a sarcastic response, you felt awfully shit. It took you a muster of courage to bring it up to Kei yet, he didn’t see it as something serious.
“Seriously Kei? You know how hard it is for me to open up with how I feel and yet, you made me feel like shit.”
“What Y/N? I was just joking, don’t be so pressed about it.” You felt your blood boiling with how he perceived your point of view.
“Pressed? Are you fucking kidding me Tsukishima?” You never call him with his last name except for today because you had enough of him.
“If you’re going to continue treating me like this then I have no choice but to leave.”
You spat and pulled your heavy heart up to walk out of Kei’s apartment. Kei felt a shiver down his spine as he watched your figure slowly moving away from him. For the first time in his whole life, he felt a massive fear strike down his insides, fingers curling into his palms. When you shut the door of his apartment quietly, Kei swore he saw his whole life flashback in his eyes.
“I..fuck. I fucked up so much.”
Letting out a heavy breath, Kei stood up and hurriedly followed you before you could even slip away from his life. When he opened the door, he saw your figure walking away not so far from his door. With all his speed, he ran towards you and softly grabbed your arm just above your elbow so that he could see your face. But when he saw that you were crying messily, his heart ached and broke down. The fact that you were crying because of him broke him so much inside.
“I’m…so sorry, Y/N. I crossed the line.” He said softly, keeping the eye contact.
The following hours were spent with him holding you in his chest as you cry your heart out. Kei will listen to your sobs as he caresses your back. Once you calmed down, he will start apologizing sincerely more and will make no excuse for what he has done to you.
Days after that, Kei was extra sweet and will often check you out, especially with your mental and emotional stability. He never wanted to see you turning your back from him as you walk away because he’ll never be able to forgive himself if you leave him, especially when he’s the reason why.
KAGEYAMA TOBIO
Tobio thinks of nothing but volleyball. If he will be asked to pick anything versus volleyball, he'll definitely pick the latter. You don’t have an issue with this because, in the first place, you know what you are going into when you committed with Tobio.
However, when Tobio starts to get injured frequently, you began worrying like mad crazy. Tobio has the habit of over practising himself that’s why you were trying to convince him to take a break and only practice during his official practice hours.
“Are you trying to change my mind about playing volleyball? Because it’s not going to happen, Y/N.”
However, he thought of it the other way around.
“What? I am not trying to change your mind, Tobio. My side is that you have to rest too. You cannot overwork yourself and come home limping every single day because it hurts me and it hurts you too!”
“You know what? If you’re not going to support me with volleyball then leave. I don’t need someone who cannot understand how important my career is.”
Your heart shattered into pieces when he flipped the whole goddamn conversation into something else. You felt your insides being twisted with your significant other asking you to leave.
“Tobio, I have been supporting you since day one and you know I will always support you. However, if it's going to lead you to self-destruction then you’ll lose a supporter.” 
With teary eyes, you pulled yourself up and walked out straight of his apartment. In a matter of seconds, Tobio realized that you left for real. As he watched you walk away from him, Tobio knows that he’s about to lose you for real.
“Shit shit, no! Y/N!”
He yelled but you chose not to look back because if you do, you know you’ll fall for him again. But Tobio is a fast runner and caught up with you immediately.
“Please…No. I don’t want to lose you, Y/N. I..am sorry, love.” Tobio breathed out, hands resting on your shoulder for support because his foot hurt like hell.
Tobio knows he didn’t mean any of the words he said to you. Losing you was the last thing he wanted to happen in his life and he knows that if he lost you, he’ll never be able to pick up the volleyball again because it’ll scar him forever that you left because of it. You got a point, you were just concerned and he’s being stubborn.
Melting into your boyfriend’s arm, you took him back to the apartment. A couple of hours later were spent in the living room with you icing his bruised foot and booking an appointment trip to the hospital the next day. Turns out that he sprained his foot and will be needing at least a week of rest.
Tobio will probably be silent the following days, reflecting on his words and actions however, he’ll also reach a breaking point and apologize to you with all his heart. He cannot stand the fact that he told you to leave yet, you’re here, taking care of him like there’s no tomorrow. He’s a goddamn lucky one.
KITA SHINSUKE
We all know that Shinsuke is pretty strict with how he keeps things in his life organized. He follows a strict routine every day and is calm with life. However, when he encounters people that are not as efficient as him, there’s a tendency that he’ll lose control and will try to control your life.
You explained to Shinsuke that both of you have different approaches to how you deal with things in life. If he’s someone that doesn’t give a shit about some things in life, you’re the type to let everything sink in first before moving forward.
But this particular argument burst your last ounce of patience with explaining to him because he invalidated your feelings.
“Shinsuke, how many times do I have to explain to you that I cannot just push myself to do things that I cannot do at the moment? I am having a slump day and the least you can do is either offer me comfort or just leave me alone.”
“How long are you going to stay like that? The world will not stop for you just because you’re sad. Stop acting like that and do what you have to do.”
Shinsuke didn’t realize the impact of his words not until he heard no response from you. Turning to see you once more, he saw you wearing a blank expression. Honestly, he got a point but what matters the most for you at the moment is how you feel your emotions first before you heal and move forward. And Shinsuke just invalidated that.
“Okay.” You replied, standing up from your seat, and heading towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Shinsuke asked with arms crossing against his chest.
“Out.” With that, you didn’t even bother to wait for his response and exited the apartment. Shinsuke was confused at first but he figured out you wanted some space right now. Sighing, he didn’t chase you and continued with his daily routine.
Outside was you, heart heavy as you let yourself get lost with your slump day. You thought that going for a walk alone was actually nice and helped you clear your thoughts out of your head so you let yourself walk for hours without a destination.
On the other hand, Shinsuke already finished his afternoon routine and was just lounging around the living room. Glancing at his phone, he saw that the sun will set soon and realized that it has been hours since you left and you didn’t text him a single message.
Panicking, hen rang your number a few times.
“Shin-”
“Y/N, where are you?”
You heard things rummaging around in the background followed by keys jiggling. Eventually, Shinsuke came to pick you up because it’s getting late and he’s worried. When Shinsuke found you sitting on the bench by the river, he swear he felt calmness and peace inside with you.
“I’m sorry, darling. I invalidated how you feel.”
Shinsuke will speak softly to you and will not hesitate to acknowledge his mistakes. If you chose to stay silent, he’ll understand it and will just watch the sunset with you. Shinsuke knows that it’s his mistake and he’s in no place to decide when to be forgiven. He may look calm but he’s actually felt fear inside because he doesn’t want to lose you.
If you decided to forgive him, Shinsuke will squeeze your hand as a sign of affirmation and comfort. No matter what decision you’ll pick, expect that Shinsuke will spend the following days making it up to you with his small actions.
He wanted you to feel safe and loved with him because you are one of the things that he treasures the most.
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© godkeis. do not repost on any platform.
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romeavecryst · 16 days
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Hope your still mine ˖ ࣪⊹
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Various! x Fem!reader
Inspired by Pretty little birds by Sza
˖ ࣪⊹ he sat In front of his desk doing his assignment his focus on them as you watched from the other side. It was weird the feeling that you’ll both be graduating soon. That you won’t see each other every day because of school, the sickening feeling of being accepted into different universities. Having to possibly work long-distance relationships.
The nightmare of breaking up because of that, living far away and not being able to work a relationship, the fights, the stress. That you wouldn’t be with him for the rest of your life that all of the talk of having a future might have just been talk… “I can feel you staring..”
You didn’t say anything just watched him you could feel your self starting to cry. All of it being so overwhelming, that maybe just maybe he won’t be yours anymore, that all of the memories and moments you’ve created and shared we to be forgotten. That he’d give up on you, that your ‘difficult’ nature would get rid of him even after all this time. That he’d get tired of you.
His eyes finally left if paper meeting your teary eyes, his brows frowning “love what’s wrong?” He asked his hand coming to cup your face whipping away stray tears that slipped down your face. “Common talk to be baby..”
“Please don’t give up on me..” you sobbed, “please..” his eyes filled with concern and he moved you close to him. “My love what makes you think that I’d give up on you, ever.” He asked his attention fully in you now.
You could only shake your head, nothing really just these intrusive thoughts that haunted you because you did want to be with anyone that he was the person you could only see yourself with ever. “I don’t know..” you muttered a frown plastered on your wet face.
“Hey, hey listen to me, just because we’re graduating doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you. I dosent mean that if we go to different universities I’m not ever gonna take a train to come see you even if I’m traveling across the country. That I won’t call you every chance I get, hell I’d transfer schools if needed no matter how hard it is. No matter how angry we get at eachother I’d be right by your side once again. Because every day I wake up, every time I go to sleep I hope in the morning you’ll still be mine.” He spoke in full sincerity.
God his heart broke that you thought he’d ever give up on you because he may not be as open and giving to others but lord with you. With you it’s different his mindset is heart is so open, and he doesn’t want that with anyone else how could he? When you were right in front of him.
You were perfection no matter what. He pulled you ups to his lap your arms wrapping around his neck and his lips kissed your neck and shoulders softly. “I don’t want anyone but you.”
“I am yours, as you are mine. I plan on growing old with you I’m in it for the long run alright? Because I wanna be with you..” You nodded “I wanna be with you to..” you muttered lips meeting his the kiss filled with such love.
“I’ll find you no matter what.”
Tetesuro Kuroo, KENJI AKAASHI, WAKATOSHI USHIJUMA, Kiyoomi Sakusa, DAICHI SAWAMURA, Asahi Azumane, Toru Oikawa, HAJIME IWAIZUMI, Tobio Kageyama, KEI TSUKISHIMA, Takanobu Aone, Satori Tendo, + ur Fav!
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yorsgirl · 15 days
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Love is a Curse
Trope: Angst
Warnings: none
Word Count: 818
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He is perfect.
Fingers threads through your hair, abruptly stopping when you question: would you be sad if I die?
His eyebrows knit together, he stares at you with confusion - you aren't dying.
You want to smile, if I do?
I won't let you.
He is a man of few words, it's often not he expresses himself but when he does, your chest rumbles with an emotion you certainly know about.
I am never letting you go. You're stuck with me forever.
You know he's right. You truly are stuck with him forever.
.
He is like dopamine.
Touches aren't what you expected them to be. You know the touch even with his presence or absence.
They belong to you after all.
It's his name you chant, his name you say. Whether they be alone or in middle of a crowd. Your mind screams his name, always. The fantasies you stage revolves around him, always.
Everything he does leaves you wanting more.
You tell him this one very night, lying in your bed. He listens, he knows. He is there every night, every time, every second. He knows.
But he doesn't answer.
You close your eyes, then you hear him say.
So do I, for you.
.
Distraction doesn't work.
You try to. You really do.
You try using apps, moving to your people, your friends, your teachers, your family. They don't help at all. And you are down the rabid hole again.
Then you are running to him.
He scolds you, still taking you back with open arms. Chiding you for even trying to believe what they said.
Arms wrapped tight against your body, you cry silent tears hearing words so endearing. You don't deserve this.
He knows what you are thinking. You deserve everything, my love. The stars, the moon, the sun, the world... I will give you what you want. I am yours.
Why does he do this? Doesn't he know it has you falling for more?
He is cruel.
.
It's on days you want to comfort him.
You see him again. You read him again. As always.
There is a smile on your face and your chest is rumbling with that emotion again. You almost can't stop your squeal.
But then you see him in despair, in pain.
And it hurts you seeing him hurt. Emotional or physical, it doesn't matter. It hurts seeing him hurt.
You want to reach out and comfort him. But you can't.
.
Everyone tells you, you shouldn't be this devoted.
You can only answer that you can't.
Your devotion can never measure up to his. His affection, his tenderness, his devotion... his love. They are immeasurable for you.
But he is consumed with darkness. They say.
They fail to understand that you love his darkness as much as his light. For in your darkness, only he sits with you. Only he knows about it.
The parts they see as ugly and unlovable, are the very parts he said he loves the most about you when you said it to him.
Plugging the earphones on, you hear his voice again on the other end.
Did you forget me, pretty? You aren't calling lately, or did you find someone else? Nah, can't be. You have to get rid of me before that.
And getting rid of me isn't that easy.
You hate how he knows so much about you.
.
The men around you are... nice.
And it's just that. They are nice.
Some of them better than the other, some worse. And you know, you can live with one of them, one day.
But it feels wrong.
Thinking about other guys feels wrong.
Its foolish of you to even think you can ever replace him with one of them. Even when the touch of another on your skin repulses you.
And at the end of the day, its just that - they are nice.
Then you question:
Can they ever understand you like him? Can they ever know you like him? Can they ever accept all the darkness about you like him? Can you ever love you like him? Can they ever be him?
The answer is clear.
Hence, you are running back to him. He accepts you with open arms.
He is your home, regardless of what he does.
He tells you that, It is fine. I will never let you go, pretty. You are mine.
And that's what you want to be. His.
.
You open your eyes.
You see the ceiling, you are in your room.
Love is a curse. It has you falling for him in every way possible. And it's him, that you want. You wonder if you'll get over him.
You want to laugh. Who are you kidding? It's been years.
You smile, a single tear rolls down your eyes. The realization hits you again, like every other day.
You love him. You want him. But you can't.
You exist. He doesn't.
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Characters: Levi Ackerman, Sukuna Ryomen, Gojo Satoru, Kageyama Tobio, Shoto Todoroki, Bakugo Katsuki, Son Hak, Loid Forger.
A/N: uhm, this is very close to me and the characters mentioned are just my faves with whom fantasize the most, you can imagine your other fav in place of them too
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Thank you for reading.
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manufacturedrainbows · 4 months
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My boy Kageyama bonked his head on a volleyball cart - turns out sharp metal will slice your skin right open ☠️
Head injuries bleed like wild so he's shaken up, but Ukai's a good coach (dad) and takes care of it 😤👏 Ukai loves his 12 sons fr
Based on a whump fanfic I'll probably never finish the draft for 🤪
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kemistre · 10 months
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εïз┊𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 — feat. tsukshima kei, sugawara koushi, kageyama tobio, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, sakusa kiyoomi, tendou satori
synopsis. in which he hears you say you don't like him
— content warnings. angsty, crying, panic attacks — word count. 3, 559
εïз┊author's note. this is sad, this is angsty. some of these are way longer than they should be, but you're welcome for the food &lt;3
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εïз┊t. kei
he was looking for you with yamaguchi by his side, his headphones around his neck as he glanced around for you, his hand in his pockets. he was going to walk you home, like usual. like the two of you had been doing since you met. ao, when he heard you say his name, his full name, from behind the corner, he stopped his friend with his arm, listening closely to what you were saying.
“tsukishima?” you questioned the friend you were talking to.
“no i don’t like him, he’s rude and just doesn’t work towards anything, it’s frustrating.” you scoffed, and as much as tsukishima didn’t want to admit it, he felt his eyes widen, his heart stopped for just a moment.
“i’m just around him because tadashi’s his friend.” yamaguchi’s mouth hung open, shocked at your words as he looked at his friend. tsukishima took a deep breathe before stepping out from around the corner, a deep scowl on his lips.
“good thing I don’t like you either.” he spoke, walking passed you and not looking back. he didn’t really know why he felt like punching something at that moment, you just walked home with him. you came to a few of his games and practices. there was no reason for him to be this upset. there was no reason for his chest to hurt so bad.
εïз┊k. tobio
he left the gym, going to fill up his water bottle that had been emptied for the second time that day. practice had been rough on the boy for a few days. for reasons unknown, he wasn’t feeling up to playing volleyball, which was completely unlike the kageyama tobio everyone knew. instead, he wanted to hang out with you. he didn’t know why. the feeling that arose in his stomach every time he talked to you was foreign, something he’d never felt before nor experienced. he’d done his research here and there though nothing helped his confusion on the matter.
but because of this same reason, he was avoiding you any chance he got. he wasn’t  ready to talk to you yet, because he knew, he just knew he wouldn't be able to form a sentence in front of you until he knew just why his stomach felt so…fluttery whenever he even looked at you. as he stood at the water fountain near the entrance to the school, he glanced to the side, not expecting to see you walking in his direction without realizing he was there. swiftly and quickly, he put the cap back on his bottle and sped to hide behind the large tree that hung over the water fountain, thankfully it was big enough to shield him from your sight. though much to his dismay, your friend had stopped by the fountain for a drink, making you stop and continue the conversation he’d seen you having from afar.
“i just can’t stand him, he’s so awkward.” you rolled your eyes, your hands smoothing back your hair. “and he’s just so obsessed with that sport, if he talks, it’s about volleyball!” you looked so frustrated. who were you talking about? was it someone on the team? kageyama didn’t really know if you were close with anyone else on the team. unconsciously, he leaned towards you, trying to hear as much as he could before you both left. your friend wiped the extra water off their chin.
“yeah, that does sound annoying. can’t you just tell him to stop?”
“well, i’ve thought about it. but even if i do tell him to stop, then he just wouldn’t talk at all.” as you and your friend began walking again, he almost thought about asking you who it was, until your friend spoke once more.
“poor kageyama,” they nudged your arm with their elbow, you could practically hear the grin in their tone. “his only friend talking shit behind his back, he’s lonely enough as it is y/n!” you scoffed, though soon grinned as well.
“i’m sorry he’s just so unlikeable! It’s impossible not to talk shit!” kageyama stood still. unmoving. looking at nothing but your back as you walked away, his eyes wide and mouth agape. what was this feeling he felt in his stomach? yet another unfamiliar feeling, though this one was more, painful, sickening, than the fluffy one he’d felt not too long ago. you were talking about him. not someone else. he was right here, listening to you say you didn’t like him. he was right there, and you didn’t know.
kageyama’s breathe sped up, his chest rising and falling anxiously as you faded into the distance. his first thought, a thought you would’ve probably hated, was to go get a volleyball. go play volleyball. get a volleyball. go, go, go. this thought swarmed through his head like bunches of little bees, and he hated it.
before he knew it, he was back at the gym, his water spilling from the grip he’d had on the bottle. the only thing he could see was that ball right in front of him on the gym floor, and not the people around him trying to help their teammate. “kageyama!” at the sound of hinata's loud voice, he snapped out of whatever trance he was in, staring at the finger while also realizing the amount of people that watched him. “you’re crying, kageyama.” hinata's voice lowered, a concerned tone overpowering the previous annoyed one.
kageyama raised a hand to his face, wiping at his cheek, realizing that yes, he had been crying. and for some reason, some unknown reason, he was now fully aware of the nauseous, painful, overbearing feeling in his entire body. and within seconds, he collapsed. kageyama tobio had never experienced love before. kageyama tobio had never experienced heartbreak before. and now, he’ll never experience either ever again.
εïз┊s. koushi
he had been on his way out of the school to go home on his day off from practice. a day he’s been looking forward to, not because he’s not going to practice, but because he finally gets to spend some one on one time with you. something you two hadn’t really gotten in a long time. he thought that maybe, just maybe this was the day  he finally asked you out. after months upon months of countlessly chickening out, his teammates somehow got him to agree to confess. he was a little more excited than he should’ve been as his eyes scanned the courtyard for you. you two had agreed on a meeting place so he could technically pick you up and you’d walk together! he really, really hoped everything would go smoothly. he had his whole confession mapped out, he prepared and practiced beforehand so he didn’t look like a complete buffoon in front of you, his only real crush since junior high.
he peaked around the corner of the school, a place he’d always been so excited for school ever since he met you. you made him want to learn even more, to grow so much more. he loved being there with you. as he peaked around the corner, he caught a glimpse of your hair, along with you and your best friend’s voice talking as best friends would. naturally, he didn’t want to interrupt your conversation, so he decided to simply wait by scrolling through his phone until your conversation finished to let you know he was there. and though he didn’t mean to eavesdrop, how could he not?
“i thought you liked him y/n?” “me? Like him? no way.” your voice was low, serious and harsh, catching sugawara off guard. “i thought he was like…the responsible friend of the group. someone who could be chill and not some chaotic fiend like his volleyball friends. he’s just as bad as them and it’s infuriating.” you scoffed, making a pit form in his stomach. who were you talking about? noya? tanaka? he thought you enjoyed everyone on the team.
“but suga’s so nice, you shouldn’t talk about him like that.” your friend's tone was a little more glum than expected and your response was nothing he’d ever think you’d say.
“hmm? i mean not really, he’s just really weird.” his breathing hitched, his heartbeat growing faster and faster by the second. he clutched his phone in his hand, eyes wide as he let the startling information settle in. you…didn’t like him? you didn’t like him. you thought he was weird.  you thought he was infuriating. you didn’t like him.
you couldn’t say that about him, that couldn’t have been you. maybe he mixed you up with someone else because you wouldn’t say that about him. he could’ve sworn you felt the same way. though the fact slowly but surely invaded each and every thought in his mind, making it spin as he left. he walked away, not exactly being able to think right at that moment. he didn’t know how long it took him to wander his way back to his house, his eyes never leaving the ground he walked on.
he opened his house's front door, going in and slowly shutting it as his forehead leaned against the hard wood. “y/n hates me…” though he whispered, the three words echoed through the empty house. soon his whole body weight shifted to lean against the door, his arms stealing himself, his knees buckling before him as he fell to the ground. tears upon tears spilled from his eyes, loud sobs coming from his now sore throat.
he hoped today would go smoothly, and he thought he came up with the worst case scenario. but this…this was truly the worst outcome he could’ve ever imagined.
εïз┊b. koutarou
he said his goodbyes to akaashi before practically running to the classroom you and he shared. today was your one year anniversary...only of being friends… but! it was still an anniversary he’d like to celebrate. he thought for a surprise he’d give a VIP pass to his next game! even if it was just a piece of paper he colored on, he still thought it would mean a lot. he was so ready as he walked up to the classroom door, which was just cracked, just a bit. as his hand brushed the handle to open it, he heard your pretty voice, so he thought he’d wait for you to come out instead, a giddy excited smile on his face, he couldn’t stand still.
“why are you still hanging out with bokuto, y/n? I thought he annoyed you.” his eyebrows furrowed, through his smile still remain.
“he does, he’s just, too much? his mood swings, his energy that never runs out. it’s too much, and yes, it is annoying.” his usual happy smile grew wobbly, unsteady as he felt his head began to pound.
“so, then cut him off, it’s simple.” you sighed.
“well how do i do that? i have every class with him, that would be awkward. i’ll just wait until we graduate, i could probably put up with him until then.” bokuto, despite everything he just heard, smiled. it wasn’t a pretty one, not anymore.
he gently held the VIP pass in his callous hand, looking down at it as his vision got blurry. tears fell off his cheeks, down to the pass he’d worked so hard to make. he tried so hard to make his writing legible, to make it colorful and pretty, just for you since he knew you liked colorful and pretty. before you could come out of the room, he made sure not to let you see him. he walked away, even if class was just about to start. maybe he could skip class, just this once. 
εïз┊a. keiji
he strolled throughout the school looking for you, though in no particular rush. he was a little anxious, a little scared to talk to you since once he did find you, he was going to tell you how he felt. something bokuto and konoha had been pressuring him to do for the few years he’d known you. he’d had a crush on you, liked you ever since he told you about his love for writing and reading. you’d supported him when he said he wanted to make a living from it, you smiled and said you’d read his books. that was probably one of his happiest and giddiest moments. he almost fell in love with you on the spot. usually, he was not one to trust people too quickly, but you were the exception. you made him feel so safe, like he was in the right place when he was by your side.
it was such an indescribable feeling he felt when he sees you smile, laugh, giggle, anything of the sort. your smile was contagious, your laugh as well. It was something he thought he’d never be able to go a day without. so, as he was just about to walk around the corner, he suddenly heard your laugh, your giggle and immediately stopped in his tracks as a lopsided smile appeared on his lips. and despite him wanting to be respectful and give you your privacy while talking to your friend, he couldn’t help but listen as he stood listening to your giggles.
“no, no! they’re actually pretty stupid. like the ideas themselves are terrible but then he’s actually worse at putting them onto paper.” akaashi’s smile turned into one of confusion. since when did you talk so harshly towards people? and he was even more confused that you weren’t talking to him about this, you told him everything. did someone make you upset? he could surely help you if you talked to him.
“is it really that bad?”
“it is, plus he’s just so quiet and he stares…a lot and honestly it’s really uncomfortable.” someone made you uncomfortable? suddenly he felt himself become more engaged in your conversation, wanting to figure out just who made you feel the way you did. was it someone in your class? it must have been, right?
“aww well that sucks, he was kinda cute too.”
“i mean, the looks go to waste when you have a terrible personality.” your voice got quieter as you and your friend began walking away. “i guess that just means akaashi will never get in a relationship cuz if  i don’t like him, no one will.” akaashi leaned against the wall, your voice playing on repeat in his head. you were talking about him? the whole time? he made you uncomfortable? he stared at you? he lacks personality? his writing was terrible, stupid..?
a sudden pain coursed through his chest as he dragged a hand over his slightly opened mouth, shocked and confused. his chest tightened, and although this anxious feeling was one he experienced quite often, this time it was for a reason he’d never been through before. and before he knew it, his vision blurred, his head grew fuzzy, and he felt…small. yiny and trapped inside the ways of his overthinking and pained mind. he was truly hoping to walk out of school with your hand in his. instead, he ran out, pained and crying. 
εïз┊o. tooru
he was wandering throughout the school, looking for you specifically. not only did he want you to come to practice and watch him since he knew you enjoyed seeing him play, but he just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. you were his first crush in a while, so it’d only make sense for him to want to be around you so much. yes, he does admit it’s a lot, but he just doesn’t want to lose you.
he was in an especially good mood today, not for any particular reason, he just…was so grateful to have you around. you were like the sun in his life, his beacon of light and hope he couldn’t get anywhere else. you made him feel like he was enough, that he’s done his best throughout his life. and truly, just seeing your smile was enough to brighten his day, being around you in general made his day so much better. he really didn’t know what he’d ever do without you. that was his last thought as he heard your voice coming from around the corner, the angelic voice he loved to hear every single day.
“oikawa?” he thought you knew he was there, but when you kept talking, he stopped where he stood. “that self absorbed jerk? what about him?” his genuine smile he’d had all day fell into a confused frown as he tried to process your words.
“i’m shocked you deal with him all the time.”
“yeah i know, he’s so clingy, and not to mention a volleyball obsessed arrogant narcissist, that’s it, i can’t stand him sometimes.” your voice rose without you knowing it, your friend that stood with you telling you to calm down.
oikawa’s pulse quickened, his breathing unsteady though he put a smile on his face once more as he walked around the corner. but this smile was one of a pure facade he’d perfected oh so long ago. “y/n-Chan~ i’ve been looking everywhere for you!” he laughed, giggled as he through an arm around your shoulder. though he heard you, loud and clear, he’d pretend he heard nothing. nothing at all because he knew his heart couldn’t handle the pain of letting you go so soon.
εïз┊s. kiyoomi
he walked throughout the crowded hallways, heading to volleyball practice like any other day. though, today was a bit different since you weren’t with him. usually you’d walk next to him, talking his ear off while he went to practice after school, but not today apparently. it confused him, worried him, but he wouldn’t say it outloud. it was as he was rounding a corner that he understood why you weren’t with him, you were leaning against the wall, holding your books, your friend talking to you about something. he didn’t want to be nosy, so he was just going to go around, it wasn’t any of his business. until he heard his name.
“sakusa? no, of course i don’t like him, he’s an asshole,” his eyebrows furrowed, you said it in such an obvious tone, it confused him. your friend agreed. was he rude? he didn’t think he’d ever been mean to you, so why? “and just between us, volleyball isn’t as cool as he thinks it is. i don’t know why he wants to do it professionally. it’s-”
at that point, he left. he didn’t need to hear anymore, he knew where you stood and he wouldn’t bother you anymore. it was an interesting feeling, because while he was angry, he was hurt and for the first time in a long time, he felt his vision get blurry, tears filling them to the brim. why would he cry for you? why did his heart just break in two? if you’d just waited a little longer, he might’ve gotten warmed up to you. showed you his soft, vulnerable side.
but now, standing on the court playing alongside a professional team, doing what he loved, he’s glad he didn’t show you anything. he’s glad he didn’t have you standing next to him, but he hopes you see him. see him on your TV and think to yourself, ‘wow, he did it.’ because now, he knew he didn’t need you. 
εïз┊t. satori
he pranced around looking for you throughout the dorms. you both were going to hang out and he was told to meet you near the entrance of the dorms. he was super excited because after a lot of thinking, he decided this would be the day he told you he liked you. you’d been friends for a while, about six months, and throughout those months, he grew to have a huge crush on you. you just treated him, normally. you weren’t freaked out by him like many others were and he was always grateful for that. because you were different.
but as he was about to round a corner, he heard your voice and his first thought was to hide and scare you once you turned around, he always he that to you, it was something that was just kinda a part of your friendship. so, he leaned his back against the wall, smirking to himself as you spoke with your friend, someone he’d never met but that was fine with him. “i should probably go, tendou will be here in a few minutes.” you complained, fed up and annoyed. it made him worry a bit, but he knew he could cheer you up, like all the other times!
“tendou? you still hang out with him?”
“yeah, for some reason i still do.” you sighed, and tendou’s eyebrows furrowed, confusion the only feeling in his body at that moment, his heartbeat speeding up just a bit. “he just..he just creeps me out. does that make sense?”
“oh yeah, of course it does, i’m pretty sure he creeps everyone out.” tendou’s eyes grew wide as he stared at the ground, a pit forming in his stomach, making him nauseous where he stood.
he couldn’t bring himself to listen to the rest of your conversation, instead just trudging back to his dorm room, his eyes never leaving the floor he walked on. looks like you weren’t different, not different at all.
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taglist :: there's none at the moment but just send me a message to my inbox if you wanna be tagged :3
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twelvegods · 1 year
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brutal. kageyama tobio
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the sour collective; ❝where's my fucking teenage dream?❞
pairing/s; kageyama tobio x fem!reader
warning/s; none
word count; 815
summary; confess, they said. date the king, they said. he’d treat you better, they said. but no one told you it was going to be this brutal.
a/n; this one’s pretty short since i’m coming back from a very long hiatus and am v v rusty and didn’t really know where i should take this so i stuck as close to the premise as i could and found myself here. let me know ur thoughts!!
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“listen to this shit someone tagged me in; ‘isn’t it practically confirmed that [y/l/n] actually got to play for the red rabbits by slutting it up with kageyama?’” amanai kanoka read out loud some tweet on her phone.
the hikari pharmaceutical red rabbits were all gathered in the locker room at five in the morning to prepare for this morning’s training session and you’d just clocked in after a tiny squabble with your boyfriend over breakfast. amanai looked up at your scowling expression as you changed out of your attire and into the team uniform.
“can’t believe you’re still getting hate, hasn’t it been a few months already?” she took a few sips from her water bottle.
“if i knew this would happen, i wouldn’t have talked tobio into going public.” you sighed, clicking your locker closed.
hirugami shoko glanced over amanai’s shoulder to peer at the screen of her phone, frowning. “they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about, [y/n]. don’t listen to them.”
that was easier said than done.
you wanted to say you expected this, that you knew what you were signing up for when you and kageyama mutually agreed to go public after dating for some odd three years. prior to that, you pined after one another in high school, but ultimately thought it best to avoid a steady relationship, keeping in mind that you both wanted to put your careers first.
but you hadn’t anticipated the onslaught of hate and complete carnage when that stupid post took to the internet, not knowing your little instagram story had the biggest snowball effect.
it suddenly felt like you were placed under a microscope and that the public assumed the right to pick you, and your relationship, apart. at first, you couldn’t give two shits about what they were saying online, that it only mattered that you and kageyama were happy and not at the expense of anyone else's happiness. but as the months went by, all those comments were starting to get to you and doubts began to arise.
it didn’t help that kageyama didn’t seem to care, he had never even bothered to bring it up after that first month of announcing your relationship. you have never felt smaller in your life, thinking that he found your relationship insignificant.
“you have to say something!” you pushed, your arms tight around your torso. “you wanted to go public and they’re degrading me, tobio!”
he rubbed the bridge of his nose, putting down his chopsticks as he calmly assessed the dinner you pushed away. “it’ll die down in a few days, you know they always find something else to talk about eventually. don’t take it to heart, [y/n].”
“and you’re not even going to bother defending me?” you scoffed, pushing back your chair as you didn’t have it in you to finish the rest of your meal.
“why should i defend you towards people that don’t matter?” his cold blue eyes flicked up to meet yours as you retreated from the dining area.
you had to avert your eyes. “god, why don’t you get it, tobio?”
“stop being so sensitive, [y/n].”
and just like that, he picked up his chopsticks and resumed his dinner, the conversation over.
these days you couldn’t help but think that your love for one another was dwindling, because even the one you thought would be by your side was also picking apart each and everything you did with a touch of hostility. and so that night as you lay in bed with your back turned towards your lover, you gave in to temptation and opened twitter, beginning to scroll through your feed and mentions.
‘kageyama deserves better than some fame whore’
‘pretty sure [y/l/n]’s only after his money’
‘he doesn’t even look happy when they’re together? #freekageyama’
‘this is just another pr stunt! they’ll break up sooner or later after [y/l/n] leeches enough of his money’
apparently, not only was there a hashtag trending due to the public being completely against your relationship, but not even a single tweet was in your favor. before you knew it, tears had welled up in your eyes as insecurity gripped your heart.
you turned to face the love of your life, tracing whatever of his features you could see in the dim lighting of your shared bedroom.
“hey, tobio?” you whispered, not sure if you were really expecting, or wanted, a response. “do you hate me?”
the silence seemed to stretch on forever.
his eyes remained closed shut, an ethereal look on his face as he went on sleeping, not knowing you were falling apart right next to him. you choked on your tears, turning towards the ceiling and willing yourself to rest, allowing your breathing to calm down and labor out, before finally feeling yourself begin to drift away.
but not before kageyama muttered something under his breath that you had no energy to decipher. “...you.”
what am i even doing here? you thought, just before a dreamless sleep held you in a comforting grip.
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tags; @hanayanetwork @planetonet @anime-central-archived @hqintheclub @tahonet
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matchsumu · 3 months
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Lost
description: now that he’s lost you, winning means nothing
genre: angst to open ending (i cannot commit to angst, it’s just too sad)
warnings: anxiety, substance use as a coping mechanism
Kageyama Tobio knew that he had grown up too soon when it was too late;
when smiles were rare to come by, and never managed to reach his eyes; when he pushed everyone that he loved away (because people can’t leave you if they’re already gone); when his determination to succeed turned into an obsession. 
Kageyama Tobio knew that he had lost himself when even you couldn’t find him. 
You weren’t there to will the clouds away, so he stayed in the shadows- but he deserved it. 
He had lost his guide, his one way out of the dark abyss his mind had become- only it was his fault.
Part of him wanted to chase after you, to apologize for what he had done, even though he had promised himself that he would never neglect you; but he did. He deserved to be locked away in the hell that he had created for himself. He didn’t deserve your compassion but even so, he longed for it. 
He wanted to slump into your arms like he used to and have you hold him tightly, humming softly. He wanted your fingers in his hair. He wanted his hands in yours- they had always fit so perfectly together. He wanted to make you smile, even if it was only a slight quirk of the corner of your mouth. 
Kageyama Tobio wanted to be a kid again. He wanted to be happy; back when his grandfather was still alive, back when you still loved him.
Kageyama Tobio wanted nothing more than to want nothing. 
You had always told him that his determination was one of his greatest strengths, but how could it do him any good if his determination for volleyball was the reason he lost you? 
He thought he had gotten better, really he did. His time at karasuno helped him outgrow his King Mentality, and you couldn’t have been more proud of him;
but good things don’t last forever. 
Why did he stay late practicing all those nights? Why did he leave you alone in your shared apartment? if he had been better then maybe-
------
You had made his favorite food the day that you left. He had come home to the lights off- it was always dark when he got home- you were probably in bed. Everything felt normal until he saw the note on the table, next to a cold bowl of pork curry. Happy Anniversary! was scribbled out and replaced with i’m leaving. 
Kageyama Tobio was a proud man- it was difficult not to be prideful as a professional athlete; but he was beginning to see the fault in this as well. 
Playing for the Schweiden Alders was a massive accomplishment. He wanted to make you proud so he worked himself to the bone, day and night at practice; but you each took pride in different things. Kageyama believed that he needed to be the best setter, and if he couldn’t achieve this, all of his hard work would be wasted. Whereas your pride resided within an accumulation of memories. shared happiness made your heart swell. His volleyball career only mattered to you because it mattered to him. you didn’t ask for this life, yet he had forced it onto you.
He had been selfish.
His determination propelled him forwards but he didn’t know how to slow the blades. Little by little, the spinning metal chipped away at his mind until he had lost the very essence of himself. He couldn’t slow down, and in doing so Kageyama Tobio had lost the one person in his life that kept him sane. 
The effects were almost immediate. His heart slowed but his mind moved at an impossible speed. He was desperately trying to keep himself from falling apart, fighting an uphill battle against his own mind. Countless nights, his thoughts were dedicated to you and what ifs. 
What if he had been on time that night?
What if he had worked harder? There had to be a way he could have both, right?
But the question that plagued his mind the most frequent:
What if he just wasn’t good enough?
And that’s what it really came down to, his pride; because Kageyama Tobio was always good enough. He put in the effort required- and more- everyday at practice. He worked his way up from the bottom to be one of the best setters in all of Japan, so how did he lose with you?
But mixed within the bewildered feeling that consumed his mind, Kageyama knew that it was only a matter of time. He knew exactly why you were leaving him, and as much as he wanted to chase after you, he knew you deserved better. 
-----
Even so, it sickened him how well he was playing. His first official game back was a few weeks after you had left and he had never played better. his body moved in the way he had worked so hard to train it to; every step was polished to perfection and the footwork came as naturally as breathing. Until after a particularly impressive service ace, Kageyama’s eyes glanced across the seat that was always reserved for you, only to find someone else sitting in it and that empty feeling in his chest grew a little bigger.
You were really gone. Maybe part of him had thought that you didn’t really mean it- like this was the same as your other arguments where you’d finally come around back to him. Panic began to build up in his throat and his mind clouded over. 
Had he even called you? 
Kageyama wiped his hands on his jersey in an attempt to dry them off. It felt like he was moving in slow motion as he walked back to the service line; jaw tightening into iron, leaving him unable to respond to Hoshiumi’s concerned question, settling for a stiff nod instead.
His joints had stiffened and his body felt too tense, but there was nothing he could do about it, only a spectator trapped in his mind, forced to watch the mechanical cyborg he had become go through the motions.
The referee’s whistle- which normally brought his mind into focus- made his body jolt and he couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling inside of him.
The ball was suddenly up in the air, a perfect, high toss; and his shoes squeaked against the gym floor: right, left, right, left. The contact was solid enough to feel his brain rattle inside his skull;
Another ace.
And as the crowd cheered his name, Kageyama Tobio hoped that somewhere, someone noticed that something was wrong with him. 
Help me.
------
The vodka burned as it slid down his throat, but he didn’t care- in fact he welcomed the feeling; at least he was feeling something.
It was dark in the apartment. Kageyama refused to turn the lights on ever since you had left. He didn’t need to be reminded how empty everything was without you. 
That’s what he told you, in one of his seven voicemails that he had drunkenly left before passing out on the couch.
He didn’t remember what had happened when he had woken up. After checking to see if there were any messages from you- there weren’t- he stumbled to get ready for practice. 
------
This became his new routine. play a match, drink to forget his problems, leave you embarrassing voicemails, and go to practice the next day.
Why did he push you away? He could feel that something was wrong, so why did he ignore it? Why did he have to be so selfish?
Kageyama Tobio was reminded of his fear of solitude. 
The silence was unbearable- suffocating. It came slowly, creeping up his chest and tightening around his neck; he was stuck in a constant state of asphyxiation and his mind had clouded over until you were the subject of every thought.
Had he always been this cold? Or had you just been there to pull his hands into yours and massage the warmth back?
Kageyama Tobio wasn’t sad, he was numb.
------
Schweiden Alders 24 vs Tachibana Red Falcons 23
The referee’s whistle was shrill in his ears and the crowd roared Kageyama's name as he made his way to the service line. 
One more, just one more and then he could be done.
Were you watching him? Before, even if you couldn’t make it to a match, you would still always watch the broadcasting. He hoped you were.
“Nice serve, Kageyama,” Ushijima encouraged, snapping him out of his thoughts. 
With a curt nod and another whistle from the referee, he tossed the ball high into the air and slammed it onto the other side of the court: an ace.
As the spectators cheered loudly and his team crowded around him excitedly, Kageyama Tobio couldn’t help but feel that none of this mattered if he was alone, without you by his side.
------
Hoshiumi wanted to go out to a bar to celebrate, but Kageyama just wanted to go home. He had opted for water tonight, sipping it slowly. It was cold outside and he was exhausted, Besides he normally celebrated with you and-
"Hi, Tobio."
His mouth went dry and he whirled around at the sound of your voice. What were you doing here? 
“You guys played well.” you looked normal, bundled up in a big puffer jacket. His eyes didn’t miss the necklace he got you a few years ago with his initials on it. 
“Did you enjoy the game?” Kageyama finally remembered how to speak.
“No, not really.” 
He knew that his mouth had fallen agape, but couldn’t manage to shut it. 
Of course you didn’t- why would he even ask you that? This was the first time he had seen you in a month and that was the first thing he said to you? 
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Huh?” the question sent his mind through another whirlwind.
“Well, you just looked really tense out there, that’s all.” you had said it so nonchalantly, it almost went over his head.
Every emotion Kageyama Tobio had felt since you left immediately pumped in his heart and spread through his veins, warming his body. You noticed. Of course you had noticed.
“I miss you.” his voice came out croaky, but he didn’t care. 
“I miss you too, Tobio.” your eyes softened and crinkled a little at the corners. You always made that face when you forced a smile.
Don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone, not again. 
He didn’t think that he would physically be able to handle it if you had turned up, only to disappear again.  
“Wanna grab coffee?”
“Isn’t it a little too late for caffeine?” Kageyama wished his soul would separate from his body so he could punch himself in the gut. Why would he even say that? Of course he wanted to go with you.
You snorted, “Doesn’t have to be coffee, dumbass. I just wanted to talk more, that’s all.”
“Tea sounds good.” His heart ached deep in his chest, but he wasn’t sure if it was from heartbreak or hope. Everything felt so normal, almost as if the past month never happened. How were you able to continue on with your life so easily? 
Did all those years that you had spent loving each other really mean nothing? 
Of course, you could throw that same question back at him. Kageyama hated himself. 
“Let’s get out of here then.” 
He nodded, quickly gathering his things. 
He would not mess this up– whatever this was or could be. 
102 notes · View notes
ilylovelyz · 9 months
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haikyuu boys when protective of you
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most likely gets into a fight, does throw the first punch, and dramatically whines afterwards, forcing you to be his personal nurse ATSUMU, TANAKA, nishinoya, terushima, IWAIZUMI, hoshiumi
so insulting and almost degrading to whoever is threatening you that the offender ends up leaving out of embarrassment TSUKISHIMA, shirabu, KUROO, kenma, sugawara, daishou, akira, SUNA, kageyama, ushijima, futakuchi, hanamaki
YOU'RE the one who is protecting them SAKUSA, hachi, bokuto, YAMAGUCHI, GOSHIKI, asahi, tendo, AONE, oikawa (somehow), koganegawa, LEV
does his best to diffuse the situation, but ultimately leaves angry and mentally hexes them KIYOKO, akaashi, KITA, DAICHI, hinata, yaku, hirugami
spends the night in jail KENTARO, semi, yamamoto, mattsun, OSAMU
2K notes · View notes
sleepyxxhead · 10 months
Note
Could u do Haikyuu setters getting mad at their s/o because they missed their game because they were busy? Thank u 💕
A/n: I’m so bad at writing angst but why is this such a good ideafjdkla;jfdskl TY FOR THE REQ!! I’ll do a pt. 2 with more setters/characters if you guys req.! Please req. more characters for me to do <3
Genres: angst | comfort 
Characters: Kageyama Tobio | Kenma Kozume | Akaashi Keiji | Oikawa Toru 
Kageyama Tobio - Please don’t leave me!
wc: 321
You were sitting at your desk, getting some work done as you heard the door close. “Tobio?” You call out.
No response.
You found him sitting on your shared bed looking angry. “How’d you do, darling?” you ask tenderly.
“We won,” he mumbled with a scowl on his face.
“You don’t look like you’re too happy about it. What happened?” you sat down next to him on the bed.
He looked at you with a hurt expression on his face. “Why didn’t you come..?”
Your eyes immediately widened in shock. Guilt poured over you. “Tobio-”
“That was a really important game to me,” he whispered, voice trembling.
“I’m so sorry, I was busy with work-”
“You’re always busy with work!” he shouted out, tears welling up in his eyes. “You’re never there!”
“Tobio…” you whisper, tears of guilt and shame streaming down your cheeks. 
Kageyama stood up, and walked out of the room. “Tobio..? Where are you going?”
“Tobio?” You ran after him, desperation rising in your chest. How could lose this? How would you live without him?
“TOBIO!” You cried out, bowing down on your knees.
Hearing the absolute anguish and distress in your voice, Kageyama turned around.
“Please don’t break up with me! I’m so so sorry! I’ll never miss a game of yours again! I love you with my whole heart so please don’t leave me!” You sobbed with misery, feeling the end drawing close.
Kageyama took a step towards you and kneeled down. The sound of misery and desperation in your voice hurt his heart too much to leave you. He tapped you on the head with his finger.
Looking up, you saw a broken version of Kageyama. His expression was calm, but his eyes full of hurt, his face wet from tears.
He stared into your eyes for just a second and pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever received.
“I love you too.”
Kenma Kozume - I forgive you
wc: 251
Kenma: we won. omw to your house
Y/n: congrats! ily &lt;3
Read at 8:23 p.m.
Kenma unlocked your front door with the spare key you gave him. After greeting your mom, he headed to your room. 
“Kenma! Congrats!” you wrapped him up in a bear hug. “Kenma?” You tilted your head to the side, confused as to why Kenma looked so disappointed.
“What’s wrong, Ken?” you asked him.
“Nothing,” he whispered, looking at his feet.
“Kenma. Was it me?”
He turned his head towards you slowly, meeting your eyes. “I guess I’m just… mad at you.”
Your eyes widened. “I’m so sorry, what did I do?”
“It’s more like what you didn’t do…” he trailed off. “I wish you would’ve come to my game.” 
He looked away from you, tears in his eyes. It wasn’t apparent, but Kenma actually cared about volleyball. He cared about a lot of things other than video games. He searched through the crowd to find you, hoping that you could find time to come, but he realized that you weren’t going to show up.
“Kenma…” you watched as he wept silently. “I’m so so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No. It’s not!” you yelled, fighting back tears. “I wasn’t there for you when it really mattered!” You wrapped him up into a hug, holding on tight. You couldn’t lose him. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I’ll come to all of your games from now on!” 
“Y/n…” Kenma mumbled through tears. “I forgive you.”
Akaashi Keiji - Paradise
wc: 435
“Akaashi?” You looked up from your laptop, hearing the door open. You’re eyebrows creased when you saw the angry expression on his face. “Is everything alright, darling? I thought you won.”
“We did win,” Akaashi mumbled bitterly. “You would’ve known that if you came, though.”
He tore off his coat and shook off his shoes before heading to your shared room. “Akaashi?” You followed him to your room, seeing him pacing back and forth.
“I’m sorry I was busy-”
“You’re always busy! You’re never there! You’ve come to one of my games in the two years that we’ve dated each other! This is something I care about! HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE!?” He shouted at you as tears fell down his face.
You stood in the doorway in shock, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t bare to see the one you loved so much with so much pain and hurt in his eyes, but yet again, you were the one who had caused it. 
You stood in silence as you watched him storm off and down the stairs. Suddenly, a thought appeared in your mind. I’m about to lose him.
Instantaneously, your feet started moving. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you yelled after Akaashi. “Please don’t leave! Let me fix this! Akaashi I love you!”
The front door slammed shut. It’s over. You’re paradise is leaving you.
You crumpled up into a ball, sobbing, mumbling to yourself, “Please don’t leave. I love you. I love you. I love you…”
-
Akaashi went on a walk. He needed to clear his mind. He was so angry at you, but the way you looked so broken when he left made him feel so guilty. Suddenly, a thought appeared in his head. 
That’s it. She’s going to leave you.
His eyes widened at the sudden thought. Almost as fast as the thought came to him, he turned around and started sprinted towards home.
He opened the door, breathing heavily, to find you curled up into a ball on the ground, sleeping. He noticed that your eyes were puffy and your face was wet. Seeing you like that made him feel absolutely terrible.
He dried your face with his thumbs and scooped you up into his arms. He carried you to your bedroom and tucked you in. After he took a shower, he laid in bed next to you.
“I’m sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you so badly. Please forgive me…” he said, voice shaking.
Your sleeping body wrapped your arms around Akaashi and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry,” you whispered into his chest.
Oikawa Toru - Addicted
wc: 223
“Y/n, how could you miss that game! How could you miss so many games! You’re always too busy! Why can’t you just show up for once!” Oikawa shouted at you. 
“I-I’m sorry Toru.” Your voice shook as you saw tears racing down his face. 
He looked at you, the agony in his eyes stinging you. 
“I’m sorry! You’re right! I’m never there when I should be! But please…” you trailed off, hot tears staining your face. “Don’t leave me. Please forgive me! I’ll show up to every ga-”
“I forgive you…” He looked to the side. “How could I not… When I love you so much? I love you so much it hurts. I get butterflies every time I see you! My stomach does flips when I hear your name! Y/n, your love is like a drug and I’m addicted. I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!”
You stood in front of him, eyes wide with shock.
“I’ll always forgive you Y/n. No matter what you do, I’ll always love you too much. No matter how painful, I’ll forgive you! No matter how-”
You wrapped your arms around Oikawa’s torso, holding him so tight you thought you might break his ribs.
“I forgive you, Y/n,” he whispered, holding you close. “I love you too much not to.”
A/n: OMG WHY IS ANGST SO HARD TO WRITE? My heart hurts. I hope yours does too. That’s how I’ll know I did my job 🫡. Have a nice day cutie <33
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It’s Been a While….
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Tobio Kageyama x Female! reader (she/her pronouns)
Warnings: slight angst, swearing, mostly fluff
WC: 3.5k
AN: blah idk what to think about this. It stems from an idea I had a dream about but this is one of those times I’m doubting myself. I low key want to write a part two but I also just wanna bury it 😅
Summary: Years after letting go of the love of your life and starting anew, a change provided by a friend allows you a glimpse into your old life and a chance to reconnect with the person you lost.
♥️ ♥️ ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
“So, I guess this is it huh?” You murmured, trying your best to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill as you stood in front of your now ex-boyfriend, Tobio Kageyama.
“YN listen, I-”
You put your hand out, stopping the words that were about to surface. You couldn’t stand to hear them; you couldn’t bare listening to those words again when you knew what was about to happen. If this was going to end, it was going to end on your terms.
“Tobio don’t. Please, let’s just say our goodbyes.” He sadly nodded, his head going down as you stood there, the awkward silence filling the air.
“So, you leave tomorrow morning for Italy, right? Are you all packed?” You asked as Tobio rubbed the back of his head. It was a nervous habit he had developed, something he did when he wasn’t sure how to react.
“Uhh yeah pretty much,” he responded, the silence still penetrating the air. You had tried your best to distract from the obvious but the obvious was beginning to suffocate you.
“Ok well I guess this is goodbye then,” you stuttered, trying to contain the tears. The years of memories flooded back, from the first day you met to your first date and everything beyond. You loved Tobio but you knew love wasn’t enough to keep him here with you. When he was first recruited to play in Italy, your first thoughts weren’t how proud you were of him or how this would only further his career. The only thought that filled your mind was how you’d ever bare letting him go.
“Yeah I guess so,” he whispered still standing in front of you, not wanting to hug you just yet. Hugging you would symbolize what he didn’t want to happen, it would symbolize the end of one of the best things that he’d ever had in his entire life. When he was first accepted to play in Italy, all he could think about was how amazing this opportunity was for him, how awesome it would be for his pro career in volleyball. When he shared the news with you, he hadn’t thought through the logistics of a long-distance relationship. The last thing on his mind at that time was how you’d be able to make it work. He’d never imagined it wouldn’t work.
You lunged forward, throwing your hands around his neck as you held him tightly for one last time, the tears you’d been holding in slowly seeping past your lids as his arms encompassed you, pulling you tight against him. You felt so amazing, so perfect against him and he hated it. He hated how this would be the last time he’d ever feel this serene.
You pulled back first, tears flowing down your cheeks as you looked up to him with a small smile, “I’ll be watching you, ok? So, no slacking off.”
He smiled a little and nodded, watching the tears stream down your cheeks, wanting to do nothing more than kiss them away. You slowly backed away, creating distance from him, your legs feeling so incredibly heavy as if trying their best to keep you planted.
He watched as you finally turned around, your arms going around your midsection as you hugged yourself and walking away and right out of his life.
*A Few Years Later*
Your phone rang as you checked the called id, sighing and swiping your finger across to answer the call.
“What do you want now Kuroo?” You ordered as a surprise gasp sounded from the speaker as he finally spoke.
“YN how could you hurt me like this! I thought I was your favorite person?”
You smiled and shook your head, “not by a long shot Kuroo but you are in the top 20. Is that good enough?”
Kuroo chuckled, replying, “I’ll take it! But listen, I called for a specific reason this time. I’m putting together a sort of reunion and I need my favorite photographer ever to help me!”
“Then why did you call me?” You chuckled as Kuroo laughed in response.
“YN, you know how much I love your work and you really are the best in the business!”
You sighed again, knowing Kuroo was trying his best to be flattering, “ok so what’s this reunion? Like a class reunion or what?” The silence filled the call after you spoke as confusion filled your eyes. You pulled your phone away to check if Kuroo was still connected.
“Kuroo-”
“It’s for a volleyball event YN,” he finally responded as your body stiffened. You hadn’t photographed a volleyball event since Tobio had left a few years ago, shifting your passion in a different direction.
“Kuroo I can’t-”
“YN please just hear me out, ok? I know you don’t photograph sports anymore but please, I’m desperate here. There isn’t anyone who can capture the game like you can. I’ve pulled a lot of our high school alumni into this game, and I think it would be awesome if you’d consider it. Kenma’s sponsoring and promoting the event and Asahi is helping with the uniform design. Yachi is also helping with marketing and design. Imagine if we had YN LN, the famous photographer and Karasuno Alum to photograph the event!”
When you first met Kuroo years ago, you were a first-year manager along with Yachi. You’d always thought he was a great leader and organizer as well as a person who could flatter almost anyone if he tried. He channeled his personality perfectly into his career in sports promotion, able to secure deals and push the volleyball league further than it has been in decades.
You looked over to your bookshelf, your eyes landing on the only memory you’d kept from your relationship with Tobio, a photo from his last game with the Schweiden Adlers. You walked over to it, picking it up and rubbing your finger gently down the side of the frame. In the photo you were looking at the camera, smile wide as you hand rested on Tobio’s chest. His eyes weren’t on the camera but rather on you, his large smile and eyes completely focused on you as if nothing happening around him mattered at all.
“YN you still there?”
“I’ll do it,” you bluntly spoke, an auditable and loud “yes” coming from the speaker as Kuroo continued to talk.
“You won’t regret this, Yn!! I’ll text you the details and we can meet in my office soon to discuss what you’ll be doing! I really appreciate this Yn and I owe you big time!”
You didn’t really hear much Kuroo spoke about, your eyes still focused on the photo as you began to wonder if this really was the right choice.
*A few weeks later*
“We just need headshots of all the players who are participating who are currently in Japan, the rest are going to submit their headshots to me,” Kuroo directed as you prepared your camera, making adjustments to lighting and the background as you half listened.
Exasperated, you mindlessly nodded for the 50th time as Kuroo continued to ramble, his nerves on edge since he’d returned from his trip overseas to secure several more players from the “monster generation” to play on the reunion game.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite girl!” A voice boomed as you turned around to see Atsumu, Bokuto, Sakusa and Inunaki walking into the studio. You smiled, placing your camera down as you went to greet the guys.
“Well, if it isn’t one of my favorite setters,” you joked as Atsumu pulled back from the hug, mouth agape as you chuckled at his reaction.
“Come on Yn, be realistic, he isn’t even in the top 10 on your favorite setters list,” Sakusa grumbled, walking to the corner as Atsumu glared at him.
“Hey hey hey there’s my Yn!” Bokuto shouted, hauling you into a huge hug as you squealed, your feet leaving the floor as he swung you around.
“Bokuto don’t break her!” Hoshiumi snapped from behind him, Hirugami, Romero and Heiwajima trailing after.
“Hey guys!” You cheered, letting go of Bokuto and running to hug them.
“It’s so good to see you again Yn! We were surprised to hear you were involved with this,” Romero remarked as you nodded.
“Surprised but happy!” Hoshiumi added as he hugged you.
“Well, Kuroo begged me to help so I really couldn’t say no,” you smirked as Kuroo narrowed his eyes.
“Geez Yn stop making me seem so desperate!”
“YN doesn’t need to make you seem desperate when you definitely are desperate,” Kenma stated, strolling in behind the teams as you snickered.
“Kenma you really weren’t needed you know!” Kuroo growled as Kenma shrugged his shoulders and headed to take a seat in the corner.
“I heard Oikawa and Hinata were coming too,” Heiwajima remarked as Kuroo confirmed.
“They are going to be flying in next week along with Ushijima and Kageyama.”
All eyes shifted to you at the mention of Kageyama’s name. You really couldn’t blame the guys; they knew you and Kageyama had ended on good terms but also that your relationship had been a sore subject and ultimately the reason you left sports photography.
You had to admit, when Kuroo first mentioned Tobio, a fact he’d somehow forgotten to mention prior to your meeting, you’d thought about dropping out, the idea of seeing your ex-boyfriend and the only man you’d ever loved extremely painful. However, you couldn’t ignore the small part of you that was also excited to see him in person. Sure, you’d watched every game you could, every interview possible. You’d watched the Olympics and even bought a jersey to add to your collection, something you’d never ever let anyone see.
“It’s fine guys,” you explained, “really I’m happy to be a part of this.”
Everyone nodded, not wanting to push the topic. While the guys had always been chaotic and kind of childish, they did care for your well-being, and they loved you.
“Now we let’s get these photos done!”
“Alright, the greatest first!” Atsumu beamed and Inunaki laughed.
“You should be last Sumu, you’ll probably break YN’s camera!” Everyone laughed at Sumu’s expense as you felt the joy of being reunited with the people you once spent so much time with.
*2 weeks later*
You arrived at the stadium, camera and press badge in hand as you adjusted your dress. You’d done your hair and makeup, wanting to look nice and professional for the event. This would be the first game you’d photographed in years, and you wanted to make a good impression. The crowds roared as you entered the gym, the bright lights hitting you as you looked around to see reporters, tv crews and officials fill the gym floor.
Kuroo waved at you as you walked over to him, noticing how truly huge the event was.
“You look great Yn! Absolutely gorgeous!” Kuroo yelled, the noise on the stadium floor loud as you blushed as his compliment.
“This is amazing Tetsuro! You really pulled this off!” Kuroo beamed with pride as you looked around, the photos you’d taken of the the players printed on banners that filled the stadium. You’re eyes trailed until they landed on Tobio’s banner, his face exactly as you remembered it. You smiled a little, looking around at the crowds.
Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Yamaguchi, Tsukki and Yachi all waved as you smiled and vigorously waved back, excited to see your old teammates.
You saw Kenma in his box, probably waiting for Kuroo as he gave you a chin lift and returned back to his phone. You noticed others from high school in the stands as you stood in the grandness of the court. You’d truly missed this feeling.
The whistle blew as Kuroo squeezed your arm and excused himself. You took your place on the side of the court as the teams were finally presented.
Team A parades out first, their flashy style of green and black jersey’s adding just the right pop of color. Oikawa and Hinata smiled and waved at you as you snapped their pictures, capturing the best angles you could.
Team B followed shortly after, their gold uniforms giving the perfect amount of class and sophistication. You wanted as Ushiwaka, Bokuto and Hoshiumi strolled across the floor, Bokuto frantically waving to the crowd as you giggled at his boisterous spirit.
Your eyes shift to Joffe who followed and to Inunaki right after. You were checking your camera before looking up, your eyes dead locked on Tobio’s as he stopped mid stride, his eyes widening as of in shock.
Tobio knew he would see you here, after all, it was a big part of the reason he agreed to join in this reunion game. He had thought about you almost constantly since leaving years ago, hoping he’d once again get the chance to see your beautiful face. He’d been preparing for weeks, going over how he’d casually walk by you, nod his head and try to act cool. He’d even prepared a few things to say to you if the opportunity present itself.
However, all his past thoughts and plans went straight out the window upon seeing you. You stood there, more breathtaking than he’s ever imagined. Your hair and makeup were flawless and your outfit fit your body like a glove. His mind drifted back to all of the times he’d made you laugh, all the times you’d spent together since meeting in high school. His heart hammered thought his chest, his jersey feeling as thought it was rippling from the aftershock.
You stood there, a small smile on your gorgeous face as you lifted your camera to snap his picture. Your eyes watered upon seeing him, something you’d known would probably happen.
“Kageyama moves dude!” Yaku whisper shouted as Kageyama snapped back to reality, his brain processing that he was holding up the line of his teammates.
“Oh sorry-” he apologized as he glanced forward and made his way to the starting line. His mind emptied of every thought he’d had, filing instead with your imagine as it implanted itself in his brain. At the greeting line, he turned to see you now staring back at him, the same sweet smile he loved plastered on your flawless face.
You couldn’t help but smile at him. Tobio was almost exactly as you’d remembered him. Sure, he was a little bit bigger; he’d obviously gained some muscle and matured since living in Italy but deep down, he was still the same boy you’d remembered from high school. Your heart fluttered just watching him, the memories of all your time spent together flooding your brain.
“We’d like to welcome you all to tonight’s special match. Team A vs Team B, a mash up of Japan’s best!” The announcer rang as the crowds cheered. You quickly made work of snapping as many pictures as you could, moving from side to side to capture the men’s forms prior to the game.
You’d been known as a legend in the sports world, your talent for photography starting in high school and only furthering afterwards. Your photos made the cover of many Japanese magazines, thanks to help from Akaashi as well as covers world wide. Noya would often send you texts, showing you how he’d send your photos all across the globe on his travels. Even Hinata had snapped a selfie or two with your magazine covers.
Tobio watched as you worked, following your every move as he prepared to warm up. He loved how passionate you were about photography. Since moving to Italy, he’d continued to follow your career collecting magazines that features your photographs and following your instagram page. He never interacted with you but that didn’t mean he didn’t order prints and support whatever projects you partook in, donating money to fundraisers you sponsored.
As the warmups began, you took your place at the side of the court. You watched as Hinata, Goshiki, and Romero all spiked. Balls slammed on the floor as the memories of your days photographing volleyball continued to flood your mind. You chuckled as you remembered how many times you’d nearly been hit or how many times Tobio would pull you off the court because he didn’t trust someone not to harm you.
He’s been protective of you even in High school, Hinata often teasing him about how he treated you like you were made of glass. In hindsight, Hinata probably knew better than anyone that his best friend was in love with you way back in high school.
You turned back to see Kageyama holding a volleyball, his focus still on you as you exited the court for the teams to switch. He shifted his attention back to the spikers as he took his place near the net. You were caught in the moment, his beautiful and perfect set gliding through the air as Bokuto slammed it into the opposing court, the crowd cheering him on. Tobio hadn’t changed, not one bit.
The game started as you began maneuvering the court, trying to capture as many shots as possible. The energy was palpable as you moved all around. Set after set, you found yourself drawn into every single play, every single serve and spike. This is why you loved volleyball.
At the end of the game, you tried to compose yourself, coming down from the high of an incredible match. You’d managed to run through nearly three memory cards, taking well over a thousand pictures of just the game itself. The guys took pictures with fans after the match as interviewers and Tv personnel flocked to their sides.
However, your job was complete, the requirements set forth by Kuroo full-filled. You walked over to your camera bag and began to disassemble and put away your equipment. Unbeknownst to you, someone had followed you.
Tobio stood a mere two feet behind you, his eyes tracking your bent over form as he tried to gather up the courage to speak to you. He’d never had a problem speaking his mind, never an issue telling people what he thought but for some reason, his mouth was incredibly dry despite drinking an excessive amount of water.
He watched as you fiddled with your camera bag, the same bag he’d gifted you for graduation years ago. It was your favorite color and just the right size. His chest filled with pride knowing you were still using it, that you’d still been keeping him close.
While he was staring, you’d turned around, startling and grabbing your chest in surprise at the giant, 6’2” setter standing behind you.
“Good god Tobio you scared me!” You laughed, your hand over your chest as you tried to regain composure.
“I-damn, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I was just wanting to… hi YN,” he finally stuttered out as you smiled up at him, his beautiful blue eyes lighting up with joy.
“Hi Tobio. Long time no see!”
“Yeah it’s been a while,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his head, “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Me too! You did amazing out there. I’d forgotten how different seeing you playing in person was!” You added as he lowered his hand down.
“Seeing me in play in person?”
“Yeah silly, I told you’d I’d be watching you. I meant it. I’ve watched every game,” you answered. He knew you wouldn’t lie to him but just hearing you say it, after wondering for years if you were watching, it made him feel incredible.
“Hey Yn, I’m in town for another week, would you maybe consider having dinner with me?” He inquired, desperately hoping you’d agree to meet with him.
You eyes widened at his question. You hadn’t been expecting this, hadn’t been expecting him to ask you to dinner. You’d thought he might say something to you but never this. Before you could answer, he continued.
“If not it’s ok, it’s just that, well I’ve been thinking about you since I left, and I’d really like to catch up. But if you don’t want to-”
“I’d love to Tobio,” you replied as he jerked back a little.
“Wait really?” You giggled at his reaction as you nodded in confirmation.
“I’ve been thinking about you to, and I’d love to go out with you.” He smiled down at you as your beautiful doe eyes met his.
“Hey Kageyama! Come on man we are going out to celebrate!” Hinata shouted as he waved to you. You waved back as Kageyama looked conflicted between you and Hinata.
“Go and have fun, ok? Text me tomorrow and we will make a plan to meet,” you assured him, squeezing his bicep as he smiled back and nodded. He turned, running towards the locker rooms before stopping and turning back. He ran back up to you as you watched in confusion before being swept up into a tight hug, your body instantly relaxing as you hugged him back. Yep, you definitely missed this.
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The DUFF (Dumb Unaware Fundamental Friend)
✧ 。 pairing: Kageyama x reader
✧ 。 genre: hurt to comfort.
✧ 。 warnings: cursing, insecurities, reader being oblivious, reader puts herself down a lot🥲, rejection,.
✧ 。  In which Y/n doesn’t believe any guy would ever like her because they all seem to be infatuated with her best friend Kiyoko
You and Kiyoko have been friends since elementary school. You two just clicked (it also helped that she lived right next door, and your parents loved each other.) She was like a sister to you, and she felt the same way towards you. You always knew Kiyoko was pretty, hell everyone knew but you discovered that her beauty was unmatched in the 8th grade. “Y/n I think Neko likes you” Kiyoko says as you two put your bikes on the bike rack “What no way” scoffing slightly feeling flustered at her assumption “he always helps you with your work and he walked with us to school today” she laughs at your obliviousness “Well yeah cause he lives near us and is our friend” you try to explain though you hope her assumption is right “He isn’t OUR friend, he’s yours, I only know him because of you” she says as she gets her shoes out her locker “whatever Ki" you laugh and walk with her until you have to bid her farewell for the day because you two are in different grades. All class the only thing you could think about was what Kiyoko said and it made you so happy to know someone liked you. “Hey y/n” the little boy came up to you with a hint of red on his cheeks and obviously nervous “Yes Neko?” you smiled thinking you knew what he would ask. “I like Shimizu-san and hanging out with her-” of course what did you expect? before hearing the rest you run out the cafeteria and go to the bathroom crying for the rest of lunch.
Being a second year in high school while your best friend AKA the most beautiful girl in the school wasn’t easy. Guys would constantly ask you to help them ask her out some even going as far to give you their gifts they wanted to give to her.  It was clock work by now you’ve learned to stay away from the male crowd throughout high school knowing they tend to use others for their personal gain. Kiyoko was beautiful. You knew that but you never once would say you hated her for it. Though you did admit you envied her. You envied how she would be noticed in a room of people. You envied she had so many suitors and of course you envied her beauty. “Please don’t post that I look horrid” a phrase you used every time you took a picture with another party. Guys never looked at you girls talk to you but the moment she walks through the door their attention shifts. It hurt but life kept going and so would you.
“Y/n these are our newest additions to the team they’re first years so please don’t do them dirty with the yearbook photos.” Kiyoko and you giggle remembering how badly you did your fellow first years last year. “Yeah, last year you made me look like a gremlin” Noya says whining “You are a gremlin” you comment looking at the short boy and laughing as you enter the gym with the two “KIYOKOOOO” you hear Tanaka screaming “Does that boy ever shut up” you look at Kiyoko with a scoff. “Tanaka please quite down the 1st years need their pictures taken” the older girl says politely while leading you to them. “Nice to meet you all I’m L/n Y/n and you’ll be seeing me a lot this year considering I will be taking pictures of all of you for yearbook” bowing the 4 boys also bow and introduce their selves to you, but one seems to be more nervous than the rest  “Hello I’m Tobio Kageyama a first year”. “We all are idiot that’s what the manager just said” the blonde boy looks at Kageyama which makes you giggle at there childishness while Kageyama swatted the taller boy away and looked embarrassed “No need to be embarrassed its ok you guys can chill around me I don’t believe in that seniority stuff” you say looking at all the boys “So which one of you would like to get your pictures taken first-” you ask being cut off “N/n do you want me to get you anything” Kiyoko quickly ask before you get any volunteers “Uh sure strawberry milk” you say and she nods “So back to what I was saying any-” you’re cut off by the short red head they call Hinata “ME ILL GO” you laugh at his excitement you finish with Hinata and Tsukishima leaving the green and black headed boys. As your about to ask Kiyoko comes back with your drink “Thanks Ki” you say grabbing the drink “I’ll go” the black-haired boy who was previously against going stands up. Ha, you guess he has confidence now that Kiyoko is here. You’re not surprised 1st years always have crushes on her and want to show off it didn’t bother you until they started asking you to give her their gifts and ask her if she’d go out with them. It’s gotten to the point whenever someone comes up to you flustered or slightly blushing you politely escort yourself from the conversation knowing what it would lead to. “ok” with a simple nod. You finish up the pictures and call it a day bowing and saying goodbye.
“Uh hey y/n” a 3rd year whose name you can’t quite remember “Hi is there something you need?” you say smiling up at the taller and older male “Yeah well yesterday I was talking to Kiyoko and she was telling me all about you and how you were close and I was wondering if you would -” you cut him off “I’m sorry I have to decline I can’t help you” you scoff and walk away not even letting the boy finish his sentence. Gosh why are guys like this can’t they just tell the girl they like them and move on why do they go to the friends. The entire interaction was common, Kiyoko talked about you a lot and I guess that’s why guys would always come up to you. They never came up for you. (At least that’s what you assumed) Somehow Kiyoko would always come up in the conversation “Yeah I saw you with Kiyoko” or “Kiyoko told me about you” it was clockwork, but you always shut it down. You loved Kiyoko but sometimes wish she didn’t always bring you up. Today you were gonna go to volleyball to take pictures of the athletes you had gotten close to some of the new players like Hinata and Yamaguchi. It was obvious to you though that Tsukishima wasn’t much of a talker and that Kageyama preferred to only talk to his team and of course Kiyoko. You commended him for that though he didn’t try getting to her through you. You also respected his love for the sport. What made you upset is he was the only one on the team who didn’t look you in the eye. Yes, you said you didn’t believe in the seniority bull shit but still he didn’t have to exclude you so much. He didn’t have problems talking to other people . But it shouldn’t matter to you as much as it does. “Shitt, I forgot to bring the green screen and I think everyone in yearbook already left” you groan “Ki can you help me get it its pretty heavy” you say to your friend “OK-” she’s cut off by the black-haired setter “I’ll help” he says standing up. Nodding you two go upstairs to get the green screen while going you two talk about volleyball and yearbook he wasn't as cold as before and your conversation was actually enjoyable. “Thanks Kageyama you're a real gentlemen” you say as you open the door to the room. “My mother told me pretty ladies shouldn’t have to carry heavy things” he says slightly blushing. Ouch you guess he’s implying Kiyoko’s too pretty to carry this which is true, but it hurts to know he doesn’t think the same about you. “It’s over there” pointing and going over to it. You begin to pick it up, but the setter takes it out your hands “Didn’t you hear what I said” he sighs looking down and blushing. You feel like your entire world was frozen. Everything just stopped. He was referring to you? No way. He must want something or someone. Guys don’t call you pretty they call you to call Kiyoko pretty. You see him leaving with the green screen hand and follow while the rest of the walk is silent.
“I think Kageyama likes you” Kiyoko says as you brush her hair. You laugh to yourself knowing that every time she says that she’s wrong “And what makes you believe that? the boy barely looks at me” you say getting a rubber band for her hair “He keeps asking me things like ‘where’s y/n’ ‘is y/n coming today?’ he definitely has a crush on you” she says looking at you with a smirk. “Yeah, sure he probably just wants good photos” you laugh “Whatever don’t be surprised when he asks you on a date” she smiles at you mischievously. You two go to sleep after enjoying your little slumber party. To be honest Kiyoko’s words got to you but knowing your history with boys you didn’t get your hopes up. It wouldn’t surprise you if he was only asking for you to start a conversation with Kiyoko, but between him calling you pretty and what Kiyoko was saying it was hard not to dream. It had officially occurred to you might have a crush on the underclassman you met a 4 months ago.
“Hey Kags, I was told by Kiyoko, you wanted me to get some more solo shots of you?” you questioned looking the boy in the eye. He nodded continuing to look down “Yeah I wanted them to add to my twitter, I heard colleges are starting to look at social medias” he says still not looking you in the eye. “Yup they do that these days. Do you want to see some photo references of previous athletes I’ve done to get a feel and some inspiration?” “sure” you guys spend an hour laughing at the old photos you took showing him how bad you were when you first started and him telling you how he wished he was a 1st year back then. It didn’t take a genius to see that you genuinely enjoyed conversating with Kageyama. You two hear a noise coming from the front and you see Kiyoko walk in. Kageyama quickly sits up straight and looks her in the eye flustered. Oh gosh “hey Ki” you say awkwardly smiling “Hi N/n hi Kageyama” she smiles as she goes to start prepping for tomorrow leaving you and Kageyama in an awkward silence. “This one looks cool” he points at the picture you took of the basketball captain. You nod and begin telling him how to pose which is difficult because he keeps looking at Kiyoko roaming around the gym. “Hey um Kageyama I need you to look at me while we do this” slightly agitated by the boys lack of focus. Yes, Kiyoko’s pretty. Yes, you aren’t as gorgeous as her. Yes, you get that every male wants her and not you. But could he at least respect the fact you’re doing something for him that you don’t NEED to do. You could be doing homework right now or watching Netflix but you’re here on a Friday afternoon taking his pictures. “Ok guys I’m gonna go home make sure to lock up” Kiyoko says smiling “WAIT!” the black-haired boy stops her in her tracks “Can we umm talk about something privately?” he says looking back at you then back at her. You hated men. You hated how they could make you feel special one second then crappy the next. You hated how easily they could be deathly handsome and oh so funny but still never want you it made you sick. “Y/n can you wait until me and her are finished?” he says looking at you with his oh so beautiful eyes “Umm actually I’m gonna go now we can finish this on Monday” you put your camera away and thank God you didn’t bring the green screen “Wait but why” the boys question goes unanswered as you walk out the gym surprisingly, he follows you. “Y/N WAIT” you don’t stop until you feel his hand grab your arm “Why are you-” you quickly cut him off “I don’t care if you want to stare Kiyoko down all shoot or not even look me in the eye I don’t even care that you like her, but I do care that you’re wasting my fucking time so please get the hell off of me and find someone else  who will take your stupid pictures” you yell at the now confused boy he loosens his grip looking at you confusingly. “What are you-” it too late now you’ve already gotten on your bike a rode away
“Y/n what the hell” Kiyoko comes in your room slamming your door “Kiyoko I’m not in the mood” she turns your TV off and looks at you “You liked Kageyama and he liked you what the fuck is your problem?” she says looking at you pissed “Kiyoko you don’t get it he was using me to get to you” you scoff looking at her with tears in your eyes “What the hell are you talking about Y/n that boy likes you” she says looking at you for answers “the last time you told me a guy liked me he ended up liking you every guy in my life has wanted you and I get it your hot your pretty your awesome I’m not so can you just be perfect somewhere else right now” you can’t help it you don’t want to scream at Kiyoko it’s not her fault but it hurts it hurts always being the friend who never gets chosen it hurts being the ugly one it hurts being you. “First y/n you aren't ugly your fucking gorgeous and second what do you mean ‘last time’” she sighs and shows her confusion trying to recall the time she was wrong. “Neko 8th grade remember” you shake your head “Neko did like your y/n what are you on about YOU rejected him” she says looking at you even more confused “What no I didn’t what are you on he literally told me he liked you and hanging out with you” you are screaming at the girl who obviously doesn’t know any of your timeline. “Omg y/n this entire time you thought he liked me??? He literally told me he was gonna confess to you the day after I told you he liked you, but he said you ran off before he could even speak?” you sit there shocked. “There’s no way why else he would say he liked you” you say looking at your friend “Y/N are you an idiot you didn’t even let him finish” she sighs clearly annoyed by this situation “He was gonna ask if you and him could walk home together ALONE without me, but he didn’t want to be rude” Kiyoko recalls the day.
“Kiyokoooo y/n rejected me” Neko cries to the older girl “Oh im sorry Neko im sure she still wants to be friends” she tries calming the heartbroken boy “Sh-she didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day, and s-she ignored me during class” he cries you ignored him for the rest of the year assuming he liked Kiyoko.
What. You almost cried hearing that. This whole time it wasn’t that you were ugly or unlikable. It was that you were an idiot “I just assumed all the guys wanted you after that I thought no guy would ever like me” you say looking down “N/n are you serious do you know how many guys ask me about you on the daily basis??? You’re like the most gorgeous and sweet girl I know everyone likes you” she says looking at you serious “I’ve tried sending so many guys you way, but they all told me you rejected them so I just thought you weren’t ready" you felt your whole identity diminish. People liked you? What the fuck “Wait wait wait was that 3rd year one of them” now feeling guilty for not even letting the boy speak “yahhhh Ashahi was so sad when you rejected him, he thought you thought he was intimidating and ugly” she chuckles at you. It all clicks now. Maybe not every single guy thinks your Kiyoko’s ugly best friend. “Wait until he finds out I thought I was the ugly one” you laugh but Kiyoko looks at you seriously “Why did you never tell me you felt that you were unwanted? You know you can tell me anything N/n” she looks down feeling guilty for not reassuring you. “I just didn’t want to come off as jealous or bitter Im so happy everyone finds you almost as beautiful as I do” you chuckle “But I can’t sit here and lie and say I wasn’t envious I thought for years I was ugly and unwanted” “Y/n I’ve never met anyone as gorgeous as you and god I wish I would have known that you felt unwanted so I could tell you how much so many boys and even girls are dying to have you” she laughs apologetically “Ok how about this every time one of us feel ugly or insecure about something or unwanted we tell each other deal?” she says holding out her pinky “Deal” you smile and interlock pinkies “I love you Ki” “I love you more N/n” she says laying her head on your shoulder
It’s been a week since the entire situation with Kageyama and usually by now you’d admit your wrongs and apologize. But this wasn’t a usual situation at all, and it sucked that you had to take pictures for them at regionals which was only a few days away. You’re currently setting up while a brown haired boy comes up to you “Hey I saw you and your friend setting up and-” you cut him off “Not gonna help you do it yourself” you say continuing your work “Oh sweetie do you not know my name I don’t need hel-” “I don’t know your name and I don’t want to so you can go talk to her yourself” still not even looking at the boy “I’m Tōru Oikawa and I don’t know what you’re talking about but I know your hot and I’m hot and hot people should stick together” he says trying to get in front of you but failing because you keep turning “Oikawa-san this isn’t your side you should leave” Kageyama comes next to you. “Tobio didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to interrupt your seniors” Oikawa scoffs “I don’t want you and neither does Kiyoko please leave or ill have to report you” you say calmly to the boy “ok ok i'm sorry” as he walks away you look at Tobio he seems a little sad and extremely mad at Oikawa “Y/n I don’t know what you thought I was asking Shimizu-san but I promise that’s not the case I was gonna ask her how I could ASK YOU out and it just all went to shit I promise the only reason I was looking at her is because I was embarrassed to tell her how I felt and- and” you stop the boy from continuing his ramble by placing a kiss on his lips. “I get it Tobio its not your fault I had a lot of insecurities to deal with and I realized that I can’t let others attraction to me be my worth.” The now flustered boy looks at you with puppy dog eyes. “I like you too Tobio, but we should take it slow literally a week ago I thought I was hideous, and no guy would want me” you laugh at yourself “I want you” Kageyama whispers under his breathe “I want you too, but I need time is that ok?” you ask hoping he answers yes “Of course I don’t care how long just- just know I really like you and think you’re the most gorgeous human being in the world. You laugh at his comment and realize that you like him maybe just a little more than you thought.
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bluestarjay · 2 days
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It's kind of shocking how Hinata is so commonly characterized as someone who is perfect at making friends and is a 100% extrovert-- which yes, he is, but I think people are forgetting how much anxiety he has and how much of a people pleaser he is. I'm rewatching Haikyuu rn and I'm on S1 E5, and the way Daichi came up to Hinata and his immediate response was "I'll block, I'll set, I'll do whatever you need me to!!" And the way he makes promises he can't keep because he wants people to like him is kind of sad. I doubt he had many friends growing up other than Izumi and Kouji, and was probably bullied for being loud, obnoxious, and a weirdo for playing volleyball with the girls or being so into volleyball. So now he makes promises he can't keep and tries to go above and beyond for the team because he doesn't want them to get rid of him or not take him seriously. Yes, he's good at making friends, but I doubt he knows how or why. He's clearly worried that people are only friends with him out of convenience and his jumping skills; that since they play together, they /have/ to be friends. He just wants to finally be of use to someone; for someone to take him seriously; someone who won't ignore him around other people bc they don't want to be seen with him (silly funny little hc of mine 🥰🥰) . But that's also why Karasuno is so great, because they really are a family. They love Hinata and are friends with him, and they like him because he's a good person, not because they have to be since they play together, or just because he's skilled and they want to take that from him. And maybe at first, Hinata didn't realize that, since after being ignored and bullied and mocked, he thought the only way someone would possibly want him around was because he could help them win. And since he's so short, of course, taller, older, buffer players would intimidate him because they could easily take advantage of the height difference, so all of his bathroom encounters are NOT helping his anxiety 😭😭😭 and the puking??? When hinata threw up on Tanaka?? Everybody is always so focused on Yamaguchi's anxiety that they don't look at or even realize Hinata's anxiety. LITERALLY, THE ENTIRETY OF EP5 IS ABOUT HINATA'S ANXIETY AND PEOPLE PLEASING BEHAVIOR,,, WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT IT???? THE KEY SCENE LIKE 20 MINUTES IN??? (For ref, Daichi, Suga, and Kageyama are talking about Hinatas behavior, and Daichi imagines a scene: He hands Hinata the club room keys, Hinata says he'll take it, Daichi says, "I never told you where to keep it, so I brought it", and Hinata bows repeatedly saying he's sorry (about 6 times)) THAT IS NOT NORMAL!!! And then he's so worried about not doing well because he feels like he needs to make up for everything (his height, his lack of skill, his lack of experience on a team, the incident with Kageyama, etc), AHH HE LITERALLY SAYS, "This isn't like junior high...because I can be replaced! I don't want that. I don't want to be replaced. " BUT NOBODY CARES?? NOT ONE PERSON IN THIS FANDOM (THAT I HAVE SEEN) TALKS ABOUT ANY OF THIS!!! All I ever see is how Hinata has tons of friends and is so popular and is a people magnet, but does anybody ever think that he's probably anxious because those friends might get bored of him and find new friends?? That since Kenma has known Kuroo a lot longer and already doesn't really like people, he might just decide to stop talking to him?? Or that Kageyama might get bored of Hinata and stop hanging out with him outside of volleyball?? Or that Daichi and/or Coach Ukai will one day realize that he isn't really that special, and anyone can jump or run fast, so he gets replaced??? Literally I bet his WORST FEAR is being replaced and forgotten.
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komorim · 1 year
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possibilities
ft. kageyama tobio, ushijima wakatoshi
you never believed that you were a partner who needed much affection. until three years into your relationship with him. he was always busy, and apparently your want for attention from your boyfriend went undetected
content warnings // angst. smoking. cold treatment/cold shoulder. cursing. break up. slapping. cursing. workaholic boyfriend and untended feelings.
author’s note // what a surprise! another angst! ok but i felt somewhat bad about not posting for so long so i rushed this a bit :(( i’ll start editing and revising soon later. also happy new year!! (super late)
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ミ KAGEYAMA
you blow out smoke from your cigarette, sitting on the sidewalk as you recall what happened earlier this morning. it was bound to happen sooner or later, you convince yourself.
the breakup was bound to happen.
it wasn’t anything new. you’ve had such feelings for a while now, and the only thing hindering you from executing out this plan forming in your head was the constant absence of your boyfriend. after all, how were you going to break up with someone who wasn’t even there?
though such an idea did not pop into your head out of nowhere. there were many things acting as the reason behind your failed relationship.
you didn’t want to be the one to blame and point fingers, but in all honesty, you saw kageyama’s faults more than your own.
how he always expects you to go to his matches and support him, but has little time to provide the same support for you. this showed the lack of care and the unbalance in what the two of you believe in.
you recall how when the two of you first started to date, he would be there for every competition of yours. after all, he admired your brains quite a lot. it was the whole reason he noticed you out of everyone in school.
the straight c student. the student that everyone came to for academic help. it intrigued kageyama, and because of his curiosity, he had approached you at the library some day before the final exams. he wanted to know why it was that with your less than impressive grades, you still managed to have everyone come to you when they were stuck on a problem.
after he found out how smart you were, much like the rest of the other people who have, he kept coming back to you for aid. however, what was different was the fact that he only used coming to you for help as an excuse to keep seeing you.
it was an understatement to say the poor boy was entranced. how you hit him playfully with a roll of paper when he got questions wrong, how you sighed when he asked a particularly stupid question, how you ran your hands through your hair when you were frustrated, and how you puffed out your cheeks when he teased you. he found it all too cute and endearing. even when you were mad at him, or even when you were too busy to pay much attention to him, he enjoyed every moment with you.
so why wouldn’t he act like that now?
why is it that you can hear his love more than you can see it and feel it?
it was odd, you believe, that the young teenager who was almost obsessed with you had turned into this distant, absent adult who only reassured you with words, and never action. how can someone change that much?
he used to be someone always following you, bothering you for stupid questions that you know he is smart enough to solve. but you always went along with his games and helped him out anyways. but then, he changed.
there was so much possibility for your relationship with him. you were so happy together.
but after volleyball controlled his life, you started being the one who had nagged at him for forgetting his homework and tests, and he would only say that he was too busy. yet it wasn’t that bad then either. on weeks he wasn’t too busy, he would continue to have library dates with you, and at that point, almost everyone believed that you were dating. yet the truth was, kageyama was going to ask you out, but became too busy and forgot.
now that you think about it, you believe that there was never the romantic “will you be my s/o?” question. it was natural for your relationship with kageyama to progress the way it had.
you think that the both of you just naturally started dating, and naturally started visiting each other’s home, until naturally, you both lived together.
there was almost never the need for questions and formalities with you two. you both knew what the other wanted and went along with the natural flow of things. in fact, you believe that if there were formalities in your relationship, it might’ve been a completely different experience overall.
how funny, after three years of believe that formalities weren’t needed, the only formality in your relationship was the break up.
ミ USHIJIMA
the slap sounded throughout the gym, and your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend now, as well as his teammates, were terribly shocked at your action.
“y/n-san! i think you should calm down a bit. i understand how ushijima may be frustrating, but talking this out would be the best option. what if-”
you hear one of his teammates try to reason with you, but you can’t bother to hear what he has to say right now.
“how could you do this to me, toshi?”
it was clear that ushijima could not speak, either from the realization of what he’s done, or because he’s still in shock about what happened just now.
“this is the eleventh time this month,” you voice starts to crack, “eleven times. how long even is a month for you to leave me and drop all our plans eleven times?”
ushijima, being the person he is, of course has barely any facial expression present even as he is presented with such a sensitive situation.
“i’m sorry, y/n, it’s just that we have an important match coming up, and i can’t be the only one not attending practice.”
you glare behind you at his fellow teammates, “well? do any of you have a fucking problem with ushijima missing out on just one practice?”
you’re met with silence as you expected. ushijima starts to show emotions for once, and you can’t help but laugh at this predicament.
so he doesn’t care that much when he’s met with a confrontation from his significant other, but cares that his teammates were lashed out at?
“where did we go wrong, toshi?” you speak softly. the sudden change in tone makes your taller boyfriend widen his eyes a bit in surprise. you voice cracks a bit, “can we talk a bit outside?”
seeing how your barely holding yourself together, ushijima believes that going outside to have an uninterrupted conversation is probably the best choice. plus, this conversation was long overdue as well.
no matter how much he doesn’t show it, you understand he truly loves you. yet this was way too much. he loved you, but you weren’t his first priority.
and you can’t take it.
you weren’t a clingy person. both you and ushijima knew this. but no one would be okay with an absent partner.
you could barely call it dating anymore. and that’s why you finally opened your mouth to say those three words.
“let’s break up.”
ushijima’s eyes widen, and he seems confused, though he still doesn’t say anything.
“i really can’t take this anymore, toshi. you’re always at practice, and you have no idea how worried i am whenever you don’t come home or when you continue to play when you’re not well. i can’t stand that you are the reason i’m always up at night, wondering if you’ve collapsed from all the workload yet. i can’t stand that you stand me up for our dates when something happens at the team. and i can’t stand that you do all this but still love me.”
“y/n, i understand that you feel that way because i’m often absent, but i truly love you and i know that i can change. i’ll try to adapt to your needs better, so please-”
“no. that’s enough,” your voice cracks, and with it, the tears come pouring down, “please. let’s just end it here.”
he reaches out a hand to you while you back up and start to leave. he knows he should chase after you, but knows that you might need time alone.
what he doesn’t know is that he won’t get another chance.
you recall how you were the one who courted ushijima. he was so cold and unbothered, and after so many months of going to his games, bringing him good and water, he finally started to notice you.
it started off with simple conversations after his game and became something more. it was the first time ushijima felt something bubbly inside of him, and when he talked to tendou about it, the answer he received was something unexpected.
it took him a long time to recognize his feelings for you. and ushijima knows that even after five years of knowing you, he still has that giddy feeling when you are next to him. but he was never one to express his emotions.
and he isn’t one to do so today either.
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