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kaizdreamz · 21 days

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thats actually all I have for a title. Aventurine x afab! reader

Also, I love his voice so fucking much holy shit can I JUST SAY. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SMUT AND THIS SONG CAME ON AND PHONE SEX. ANYWAY

MDNI 18++++ LEAVE THIS NOW. THIS IS ACTUALLY THE SLUTTIEST THING IVE WRITTEN IN YEARS.

CW: petnames, VERY VERY DESCRIPTIVE PHONE SEX, LIKE. REALLY BAD, Mutual masturbation, moaning, voice kink, IMAGINATION, clit/cock terms, sexting/pictures/phone sex, literally as far as you can think.

"hey baby..." his voice was low and deep through the phone.

"hi love, what you doing awake? Isn't it late there?" You lay on your bed, fidgeting with your sheets.

"missed you so much, had you on my brain all day." You can hear a smile through his voice, you smile softly.

"mm, that's sweet. I'm sure those meetings were really boring.." you mumble, listening to his hum in response.

It wasn't often you two were together, he was always busy with IPC meetings and plans. When he was with you it was almost as if he never left.

"what have you been doing?" He asks, his voice going to a low whisper. You think back on the day on anything notable.

"hmm... nothing much, I did some work and cleaned around the place."

"that's good, 'm proud of you." Your cheeks burn from the praise, Everytime he gave you a compliment or praise it always made your heart flutter. "God, I miss you so much. I wish you were here with me."

"me too, maybe one day they'll let me tag along haha." A soft chuckle echos through his line.

"haha, maybe. I'll have to ask though- I'm sure I'll get no extra work done with you around..." aventurine purrs through the phone.

"yeah.. I'll take up all your time."

"..."

"Aventurine?" You check to see if the line disconnected but it seems to be fine. Suddenly you hear a soft groan.

"baby, I wish I could taste you right now..." your eyes widen as you realize what's happening. Your face turns completely red, his moans echo through the phone.

"are you..—"

"ah.. fuuck." He slides his hand over his aching bulge. The silk pajamas restraining him tightly. "Fuck, sorry.. I just— hearing your voice after so long. Drives me insane.."

You slide your hands down your own body, dipping past your waistband and touching yourself. A small gasp escapes your lips as you throb against your hand. "Ha.. Imagine how I feel, every little emphasis— every gasp of air you take. You make me crazy.." you mumble, eyes fluttering close as the pleasure washes over you.

"baby, can you do something for me?"

"mhm.."

"tell me what you're doing.. describe it to me.." he pleads, squeezing his cock and letting out a moan.

"ah.. 'm touching myself— rubbing my clit.. thinking about you touching me." You whimper.

"are you still wearing pajamas?" He whines, you hum. "Take them off, undress for me angel." You comply and slowly begin to undress the cold air of the room hitting your skin and makes a pleasant shiver go down your spine.

You hear a shuffle on the other end as you lay down on the soft bed, a sigh emits from Aventurine's mouth. "Can you tell me what you're thinking about?" You whisper, he groans before letting out a soft chuckle and a soft "mhm".

"thinking about rubbing that soft clit of yours in gentle circles, or maybe eating you out until you're a moaning mess. Stare into your eyes as I slowly push inside." He throws his head back as he strokes his cock slowly— teasing himself.

Your breathing increases, your fingers dip into your dripping cunt. You let out a moan as he whimpers into the phone, his voice shaking "go on baby, touch yourself while you think of me doing so many things to you."

Your body burns, you spread your legs further apart and slowly start pushing a finger inside, it's been so long since he's touched you. Your stomach erupts in butterflies as you think of his hands guiding you to your heat.

"you're so good for me, so perfect, so beautiful." He praises as you moan as you speed up. You put the phone on speaker as you rub your clit along with fingering yourself.

"ah- aventurine, fuck... I wish you were here. Oh... I wish you could touch me."

"oh fuuck." He whimpers as he speeds up, low groans and moans echo his hotel room as he drips precum all over his hand. "Wish I could fuck you so good right now, make soft love to you. Make you orgasm and cum all over me, all over my cock."

You left out a high pitched gasp, your walls tighten around your fingers as your back arches, a moan draws out of your throat.

"your noises are so fucking cute, so needy. Ah- I can only imagine how wet you are... can I have a picture please baby?"

You whimper as you grab your phone and flip the camera to face yourself, taking a picture of your fingers deep in your cunt, arousal dripping out. You send it to him and a few seconds past and you hear a loud groan.

"oh fuck.. look at you," he moans in between his words, his legs go weak as he looks at you touching yourself. "Fuck, baby- fuuck.." he moans, biting his lip and speeding up.

"i- I'm so close.." you whine through the moans, "oh fuck, baby- I'm so close." You moan into the pillow. "Aah.."

"I'm close too," his voice is shaking as he strokes himself in full strokes. "I'm thinking of stretching that pretty pussy out, going so slow for you, make you take all of me. Make you feel so full inside," you bite your lip, whimpering out bables.

"aventurine.." you moan out his name. He lets out a loud groan.

"say my name again, please baby- I'm so close"

"Aventurine..." You speed up even faster, rubbing your clit— the pleasure going to your head as you reach that high you've been craving. "Aventurine, oh– I'm gonna cum"

"cum for me baby, let yourself go, I'm right here." He whines, hips twitching as he reaches his high too, his cock pulses and twitches in his hand as he lets out a wobbly moan.

your back arches and your legs shake as your orgasm crashes against you so hard, you bite your lip to stop yourself from being too loud. You can only think about him, how he feels against your skin, how he would touch you— Him, Aventurine.

"I love you, I love you so much." He whispers, catching his breath.

"mm... I love you too, Aventurine," you hum sleepily, reaching over the nightstand and wiping cum off yourself. Hissing at the sensitivity, he laughs.

"I made such a mess." He sighs. "Thank you— for being so goddamn perfect..."

"thank you for having the sexiest bedroom voice" you tease, your heart swells in adoration as he lets out a breathy laugh.

UH I DONT WANNA WRITE ANYTHING ELSE SO HERE AHAHA

#female reader #Afab reader #hsr aventurine #Hsr smut #Smut #Phonesex #Aventurine smut #Hsr x you #aventurine x reader #honkai star rail smut #Spotify

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suiana · 1 year

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hihi!! yr posts are so funky i love them sm

ya have any ideas for a yandere that has no actual connection - like, you've never even seen them before and yet it's stuff like "i didn't leave that book open" - "where did my favorite shirt go" - "i just woke up why am i so sticky" rjfjfhjf

omgee I've actually been thinking about this lately HAHA,, thank u anon for giving me motivation to write this <3

✎ yandere! stalker headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― stalking, nsfw, obsessiveness, slight violence, delusional yandere etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! stalker who is absolutely obsessed with you. you don't even know him yet his whole life is dedicated to you! how romantic <3

✎ yandere! stalker who has completely memorized your schedule and everything about you. he swears that he can answer any question about you :) no one knows you better than him, not even yourself!

✎ yandere! stalker who doesn't even remember when or where his obsession for you started from. babe, you never even talked to him before! so how did he fall so deeply for you? truly a mystery...

✎ yandere! stalker who gives you plenty of gifts. you could wake up with a random box of chocolates or with your laundry done! though a shirt or two might be missing! truly a pleasant surprise, no? your stalker hopes you like his gifts! :)

✎ yandere! stalker who has so many pictures of you that it's insane. what the fuck, how does he even get these??

✎ yandere! stalker who protects you from dirty people. that weird associate who made you uncomfortable? he suddenly went missing! that old uncle who was staring at you in a nasty way? brutally beaten up in a dark alleyway! don't worry your pretty little head darling, your stalker is there to protect you ♡

✎ yandere! stalker who masterbates to the thought of you every night. god you're perfect! he wishes you would notice him :( but he supposed that you not noticing is for the better... for now.

✎ yandere! stalker who is rich and likes spending his fortune on you. your phone is slightly chipped? get ready to wake up with a brand new phone on your desk :) oh, how he loves watching your cute reactions through the teddy bear he once gifted to you <3

✎ yandere! stalker who starts to grow bolder once you've warmed up to his gifts. oh? so you like his gifts? that means you like him now right? stalker, babe, that's not how it works that means he can start getting more personal with you right?

✎ yandere! stalker who starts to touch you in your sleep. your reciprocation towards his gifts is a sign that you're okay with this right? right?!

✎ yandere! stalker who is hysterical when he sees you talking to you friends about how you hate waking up slimy in the morning. what do you mean you hate his gift to you?! do you hate him now?!

✎ yandere! stalker who gifts you multiple things to try and apologize. you must be mad at him! you surely must be! even if you don't know who he is, your complaints about being sticky is a subtle sign of your anger towards him! he can't have his reason of living being mad now, can he?

✎ yandere! stalker who impulsively kidnaps you once you decide to make a police report. no! he can't lose you to those scummy officers!

✎ yandere! stalker who knocks you out so hard that you lose your memories. and when you wake up he tells you that he's your husband. a manic grin adorning his features as he does so. this must god's way of giving him a second chance! honey... no!!

✎ yandere! stalker who would change anything about himself for you. he exists for you only. anything he does is for you. he is yours to control. he should be anything and everything you want. so please, tell him what you like! he'll do anything in his power to achieve it. even if it means dying for you.

✎ "haah~ I love you so much ♡"

#tw yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #male yandere x reader #yandere blog #yandere hcs #yandere headcanons #yandere drabble #yandere drabbles #yandere stalker #yandere stalker headcanons #yandere stalker x reader

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malereadermaniac · 9 months

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I used to have a crush on you - Bakugo x Male Reader

Bakugo and you have been friends since the start of the year

Sure, at the very beginning, he insisted you were just like the other extras (referring to his little bakusquad)

But by now, 3rd year at UA, he's given in and realised you two are incredibly close

You're more than an extra to him

He genuinely liked you and being around you

He liked always having at least one point of contact with you, whether that be an arm around your shoulder or flat out hugging you when you're sitting down with others

Bakugo liked your soft hair, he liked you as a person, your jokes weren't annoying and you kept up with his ego via sarcasm which peaved him off to begin with but it only endears him furthermore

It was only until Katsuki had to deal with Kirishima blabber on about his crush on Mina when the stubborn blonde realised HE had a CRUSH on YOU!

It was like Bakugo was a computer and he'd just crashed

The boy went silent, but on the inside he was going insane, rocking his brain about how his taking to you was just him desperately wanting to be with you, how all the physical touch made him want to do more with you but he just suppressed those thoughts

However, Bakugo didn't know what to do with this new information

He couldn't just waltz up to you and declare his new found love, that would be weird and cringey

So, he decided to keep quiet for now and maybe bring up the topic at some point

Keeping his mouth quiet was easy for Katsuki, but keeping his actions quiet was impossible...

Before, Bakugo has his arm on your shoulder and that was it

Now... Bakugo was holding your hand more often than not, but you didn't mind

You didn't even ask him about it, you just smiled at him everytime he intertwined his fingers with yours

The hugging also developed to him sitting behind you as you sat between his legs, and his arms around your waist

You were suspicious as to why the blonde had ra domly decided to be more touchy with you, but you didn't mind, you're like this with most of your girl friends

"Maybe Katsuki just saw how I was with them and thought he should do the same?" You think as he rests his head on your shoulder

Then, the perfect moment came

Mina and Kiri passed by, holding hands and at some point said "I love you so much"

Bingo

"Say, dumbass... what do you think of friends dating eachother?" Katsuki quickly mumbles out, a blush forming on his cheeks but he chooses to ignore it

You chuckle

"What?!" Bakugo shouts offended that you're laughing at him

"No no haha.... I'm not laughing at you Katsuki. It's just that your question was funny to me"

"And whys that?" He presses on

"Cause I used to have a crush on you haha! I think friends are perfect for eahcother cause..................................." Whatever you said after that was wasted on Bakugo, because his ears stopped working and so did his brain

He used to like me....

(Y/n) used to like me???

And I didn't know????

FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

Those were Bakugo's exact thoughts

And his face matched those thoughts because the thickest blush coveted his pale face

"Oh... sorry I didn't mean to embaras you or make things awkward..." you apologise and lift your head off of Katsuki, going to move your hand away from his

But his hand tightens around yours

"No! You didn't embarass me at all... You liked me? How long ago?" Bakugo says clearly, his blush softening and a determined look on his face

"Ummm.... well I've liked you a few times hehe... the first time was the start of 2nd year, and the latest was about 2 months ago...." you chuckle as a blush covers your face

"So you could... still like me now?" Katsuki asks, his red eyes looking directly onto yours

"I guess? Sorry... does that make you uncomfortable?" You say with a worried expression

"No no! It... makes me feel the opposite, 'cause I like you (Y/n). I like you a lot"

Now it was your turn to short circuit

No words were said, but as Katsuki's face slowly got closer to yours, yours did too

Until silently, the two of you closed your eyes and pressed your lips onto the others

The kiss was slow and loving

Like all the words you both couldn't get out fully were being said through this kiss

But when you were about to break the kiss, Bakugo's hands jolt up to your face and hold you in place, turning the kiss more passionate as he pussed his tongue against your lips

You open your mouth and let Bakugo do whatever he wanted, and the two of you went wild after that

Hickey's plastered on your neck and collar bone, Katsuki's shoulder were covered în lovebites and both of your lips were plumb from the half an hour long make out session you two had just partaken in

You two rut against eachother and realise you both have a hard problem to deal with

"Maybe we should wait a little while for that one hehe..." you say with a chuckle

"Yeah... Haha!"

The two of you chuckle together and hug and kiss more, the two of you just happy

"(Y/N)!? BAKUBRO!??? WHAT HAPPENED IN THE 30 MINUETS ME AND MINA WERE GONE??!!"

What an interesting conversation the 4 of you were about to have...

Hey, at least your problems died down by the end of it

#gay #male reader #fanfic #x male reader #fluff #cute gay #anime #bnha #bnha x male reader #bakugo x male reader #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugou #friends to lovers

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ellana-ravenwood · 2 years

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Buttslap ?/Batslap ! - Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

Synopsis : You’ve had the “bad” habit of slapping your husband’s butt every chance you get since almost as long as you two started dating. And sometimes, it gets you in trouble...

Not me, writing a fic the day before my wedding...Haha, I had time to relax before the big day, and I thought : “what could be better to truly chill, than to write a silly little fanfic ?” This started from an ask, and now we’re here. This is just a story for fun and not to be taken too seriously, one of those stories that exist purely because I told myself : “I mean, why not ?”. I hope you’ll like it nonetheless ! :

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

************

Habitus

““Man is largely a creature of habits”, said the famous philosopher G. Stanley Hall and...ain’t that the truth ?

It’s nice and stress free, to have habits. To do things a certain way, and to not change that way (as long as it’s effective). To automatically repeat certain actions.

It’s comforting, even soothing, to know that at least, there’s some constant in your life. It’s a feeling of safety, almost.

It’s one of those things you know you can always rely on, you know ?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I will always, ALWAYS, slap my husband’s ass whenever I get the chance.”

There’s a silence in the room, as you end your little speech. Most people are just too stunned to react. What, did THE (Y/N) Wayne just say all that for real ? Or was it a collective hallucination ?

Did you really just climb up the stage at this insanely crowded charity gala, and proudly told everyone that...you enjoyed slapping the famed Bruce Wayne’s butt ?

Well. Yes. Yes, you very much did. Oh dear...

And the worst thing was ? You weren’t even aware of it.

The past week had been quite busy, and stressful, and you did not want to come to this gala, but your position made it so you were kind of obligated to...and therefor, to ease your anxiety about it all, you might’ve drunk a little bit too much champagne (you didn’t need much anyway).

Oopsie.

Now here you were, talking about slapping your husband’s ass, and it being an action that comforted you greatly. How embarrassing. Fortunately, most people were just shocked that you dared to say all that, and would probably think they imagined it all.

Plus, Bruce, being used to your antics, just casually walked on the stage, and just took your hand and dragged you with him before you could continue to speak about how you worshipped your husband’s butt.

Of course, as he took you away, you managed to give his ass a good slap, before turning to everyone else and saying with a big smile : “Soooo satisfyinnnnnnng !!”.

Needless to say, you were mortified the next day, as your husband told you all about it, amused. You did remember doing that, and that it sounded like a GREAT idea on the moment and- oh my God, you hated those galas !

You were expecting the story to be on the headline of all tabloids, but fortunately for you, that day, Penguin’s trial was starting and the “downfall of the Cobblepot” was still more important than “(Y/N) Wayne says husband’s butt is great”...Pheww, crisis averted.

This time.

The first time it happened

Slap !!

Bruce stops in his tracks, and slowly turns around towards you.

“Did you just...Did you just slap my ass ?”

He asks, almost in disbelief, his cheeks slightly tinted of a rosy color that you find just too adorable (although, you’d never tell him that).

“Um, yes ?”

You answer shyly, afraid you went a little too fast. Afraid you offended him. Afraid you were totally out of bound. I mean. You did slap his butt without asking if you could, he didn’t consent, and that was bad...The more you thought of it, the more you were livid. What did you do ? How dare you ? You really just slapped THE Bruce Wayne’s ass, the fearless Batman’s butt cheeks ??? And without asking if you could first, at that ??? Outrageous.

“Im-I’m sorry ! I didn’t mean to- I mean, I did mean to, but I should’n’t have ! I’m sorry ut’s just-”

It’s just you couldn’t help it. What. The man was climbing the stairs in front of you, showing his perfectly shaped butt to you, what else were you supposed to do ?? It was pure instinct.

Here he was, all muscles and shapes in his black dress pants, and suddenly, your hand found itself slapping his backside as if it had a mind of its own !

You were feeling so awkward now, this was what, your third date ? How would you have reacted, if a man did this to you ?

Oh dear. Oh dear. Were you one of those disgusting predator ?? Slapping people’s butt just like that ?

Oh. But not just people. Bruce Wayne’s butt. Only his, had such a power of attraction on your hand. Which didn’t make you feel any better about your action.

You were a little disgusted with yourself, the more you thought about it. And you-

“No don’t apologize ! Please. I-um...I liked it.”

Short silence.

You look at him. He looks at you.

You raise an eyebrow, a smirk slowly rising on your face.

He looks away, embarrassed.

“You did now, didn’t you ?”

“Yes. You can- do it again, if you want.”

“Can I ?”

“Yes.”

Ah. Here was the last barrier to it all : his permission.

He was giving you permission to slap that beautiful, perfect ass. Who were you, to resist him ?

And that’s, when this all thing started.

“A disgusting habit !!”

The kids hate it, of course.

As if the fact their parents weren’t into PDA way too much for their taste, what, their mom just HAD to slap their dad’s ass whenever she could ??

Did you have no self-control ?!

DICK

Dick was eight years old, when he saw you do that for the first time. It was still a time during which you tried to keep your affection for your husband as tamed as possible, especially in front of your boy (as the years went by, you just found it too funny, the way they reacted to the slightest touch of affection between you and Bruce, and you couldn’t help but mess with them).

You slapped his butt, and he turned around smiling and then kissed you

And Dickie, oh, bless that young and innocent little bird...He thought the butt slap was just a way of showing someone you loved them !

Oh, oh the awkward moment when you had to explain to him that no, this was not what it meant, and that he couldn’t just go around slapping everyone’s butt (that kid loved too many people).

That it was only when you “loved-loved” someone, that you could do that.

The boy was horrified, of course. And even to this day, he remembers it. He often said that it was one of his childhood’s greatest trauma (and in a way, that joke helped him relativized his actual trauma).

After that, whenever he would see you slap Bruce’s but, he’d yell : “Go love-love each other somewhere else !”, and you found it so adorable, despite your son being genuinely mad.

Even now, as an adult, he’d still exclaim things like : “Oh please for the love of goooood, get a rooooom !!”, and other : “CONTROL YOURSELF, PARENTS !”

It never ceased to amuse you. Which was definitely not why you kept doing that in front of him, right ? *evil laugh*.

JASON

Jason thought it was funny. Ever since he was a child.

In his mind, you slapping Bruce’s butt was a mark of affection. Was one of your love language. He’d always been more sensitive than others, as to what made each person’s way of loving others special.

It always made him happy, when he saw the both of you giggle together because of it. Jason never needed much, in life. Just people to love, and who loved him back. Just family.

Of course, just like his brothers and sister, he’d get annoyed by your “horny teenager” behavior sometimes. But the butt slapping ? It was never that. It was always clearly just a fun joke between you and Bruce.

Ah, Jason couldn’t help it. If you or his dad smiled ? It was enough for him. He couldn’t be mad, when those he loved were happy. It made him happy, in return.

When he got resurrected, and he felt abandoned by all of you, it was more painful than every thing else. He would’ve rather been tortured by the Joker for a thousand years, than feel this emotion again. All alone, unloved, forgotten...(or at least, so he thought).

When he started to forgive you guys, and he first saw you slap Bruce’s butt after years and years of not seeing something like this...

It made him smile. Unintentionally. Subconsciously.

A big smile. And it warmed his heart. Because-

Because those two still loved each other as if it was their first day together.

Because his parents were happy.

And, because the reason he was so angry at them, was because he loved them so much, that it hurt too strongly to think they abandoned him...

But small moments like this. His mom slapping his dad’s butt when she thought he wasn’t looking. Bruce unable to fight the smile growing on his lips. The look you both exchanged...

Love.

And it just made him happy. As simple as that.

TIM

Tim had decided since a long time that he would just pretend like his parents do not exist when they start to get all lovey dovey.

As a result, you can slap Bruce’s ass right in front of him, or even kiss him, and Tim will just close his eyes, and pretend he’s somewhere else.

The first time he brought Bernard home, Bruce, him and said Bernard were in the kitchen drinking some milkshake when you came in the room.

Tim instantly just turned his head towards his boyfriend, knowing what was going to happen. And sure enough...it did happen.

You said : “hey guys”, to which they all answered “hey” (my love - Bruce / Mom - Tim/ Mrs Wayne - Bernard). You casually walked across the room, gave your husband’s ass a big ol’ slap (he acted as if it never happened), got yourself a smoothie, and then exited the room saying “bye guys”, of course not forgetting to slap his butt once more as you walked passed Bruce, and give him a mandatory kiss on the cheek.

Tim said : “Bye mom”, still not looking in your direction. Bruce said : “bye my love”. And Bernard just stared, obviously stunned by what just happened.

Later on, Tim would just tell him : “Ignore them, trust me, it’s just easier.”, and honestly, Bernard couldn’t help but love that weird family. Never a boring day, with them.

DAMIAN

He will NEVER let his father walk in front of you. You go up flight of stairs ? Either he’ll make sure you get in the front, either he’ll get in the middle of them.

His strategy was to simply not give you a chance to slap Bruce’s ass.

After all, if you always did it “whenever you got a chance”, if he rendered nulle those chances...he could avoid seeing it, right ?

He always managed to get himself between you and his father, to take your hand at the right time, and hug you, so that you’d stop the “slapping motion”.

Bonus ? The fact that he could make his dad almost jealous because that meant that he always managed to redirect your attention on him. The attention that was supposed to be for Bruce, he’d get it with his hugs.

It was sneaky, really. And it always worked.

CASS

Cass was the most radical of them all. Unlike Damian, who would stop you in some clever way, she’d simply stop you unscrupulously. If she saw you approached her father when she was around, she’d just say :

“No.”

And stop you by grabbing (lightly) your wrist. Which always stunned you enough, that you just forgot about the butt slap.

At one point, your only daughter took it upon herself to “train you” to stop doing that when she was around...and literally used a water spray to deter you from slapping your husband’s butt.

Whenever she saw you coming from behind Bruce’s back, she’d spray your face with water, and say “no.”

It worked...for a short while. You didn’t want to embarrass or annoy your kids too much, so if it bothered her that much, you’d just stop.

You’d just stop ?

Oh, but that was underestimating your “manipulation skills”. “No”, ugh ? Well, we’d see about that. After all, you don’t teach new tricks to an old dog.

You over-exaggerated everything. Sighed whenever you saw your husband, staring at his butt, but not doing anything. It came to a point that Cass started to feel guilty, and eventually stopped reacting to you slapping your husband’s butt (well, she’d use the “Tim technique” of looking away, even though she still thought you two were disgusting).

Your plan worked. No more spraying of water, no more “no”, or Cass stopping your wrist...Aaaah, it was almost too easy.

Once, Dick said : “Ah, she got you too, didn’t she ?”, and Cass didn’t quite grasp his words before a long time. When she finally got it, an evening, while laying in bed, she sat up suddenly and exclaimed :

“WHAT THE FUCK !!”

DUKE

Duke..never expect THE Batman to act this way. And even less elegant (Y/N) Wayne that he saw so many time in the papers.

And yet, every chance you got, you’d give your husband’s ass a big slap, and leave definitely pleased with yourself.

How weird.

But to be honest, this wasn’t the weirdest thing Duke found out about that family. And in the end, Batman getting his ass slapped by his wife on a regular basis, was it really that weird ?

Yes. No. Yes. It definitely was.

The incident (you know, worst than that time you publicly admitted you loved slapping your husband’s ass)

“We warned you countless time, mother. It was bound to happen, really. You can only blame yourself.”

It was rare, that Dick would call you “mother”. To be fair, none of them ever did...except when they were sort of disappointed in you. Kind of in the same way you’d call them by their full name when you were mad at them, you know ?

The fact that your eldest just called you “mother” added insult to injury. It wasn’t like your son, to rub salt into the wound. But oh well...You did kind of deserve it.

You definitely had it coming.

But seriously, how could you know ? Those people were sneaky. It was part of their job !

You sighed, looking at the headline of most papers from Gotham, horrified :

“Is (Y/N) Wayne cheating on Bruce Wayne with...BATMAN ????”

“Gosh dang it”, to use an expression often used by a certain man from Smallville.

So what, you can’t even slap your husband’s butt in public now ?? Well..You made a mental note of not doing it in public, anymore. Not when he was wearing the Batman costume, that is.

What happened was : it was 6 am. One of those December mornings during which it was still very dark outside. You were going to an important early meeting, and your family was coming back from a night out patrolling. You thought you’d kiss them goodnight on your way.

How were you supposed to know that a paparazzo was following you that day ? It was so early, what kind of psycho would do that ? Oh..but this was Gotham, of course.

The picture that bastard snatch didn’t leave any doubt : it was clearly you, grabbing with your full hand a piece of Batman’s ass.

Gosh dang it.

How were you going to get out of that one ?

It’s Tim, who suggested you pretend the picture was manipulated. He almost didn’t say anything, because well, yeah, this would serve you right...But also, he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone thinking something ill of his mom.

Bruce took care of the rest.

Using the latest tech available, he actually manipulated the picture to make it look like you were giving something to Batman. And he managed to convince everyone else that the picture of you grabbing his ass was faked.

What would Lucious think, if he knew his hard work was used for that, uh ?

Everyone knew you loved when paparazzi took picture of you grabbing your husband’s ass, because you thought it was funny. So it was easy to pretend as if the paparazzo managed to fake the picture using those.

And then, everyone also knew that Bruce Wayne had a close “work” relationship with Batman, so the fact his wife would give Batman files wasn’t too crazy.

Of course, the fact Gothamites seemed to vow a blind faith into your husband, made the rest easy.

Everyone bought it. Oh, and that paparazzo ? Bruce made sure he wouldn’t be a problem (by giving him many pictures to sell, not by threatening him...at least, not officially).

And that’s how you avoided a HUGE scandal.

But did that incident deter you from slapping your husband’s ass every chance you got ? Absolutely not.

The broken hand

“For the last time Damian, this wasn’t my fault !”

“Oh yeah ? Well you should’n’ve contracted your muscles so much !”

“I-I can’t help it !!”

But nothing Bruce could say would stop his son to glare at him.

“Who need muscles in their ass anyway ????” He’d say, angry that-

That his mom got hurt.

You found it so funny. This situation was hilarious. Like, come on. You had a cast on your hand right now, because you slapped your husband’s ass a little too hard (and that man was made of pure muscles).

Neither Damian nor Bruce thought it was, of course, which made it even funnier.

Damian couldn’t bear any harmed be done to you, and though he knew it was an accident, he couldn’t help be a little mad at his dad.

“Batman works out everything.”

Is what you heard your husband say, once, to Clark (surely, they were fighting about who had more muscles once again...pretty common...Ugh, men).

But it was true, your husband worked out every single muscles in his body. He never skipped “leg day”, and definitely didn’t skip “butt and glute” day.

His ass was hard.

And you broke your hand slapping it.

Come on, it was so fu*king funny !!

Bruce, of course, hated when you were hurt. He always felt ill himself, when you’d get any kind of injuries. But that time ? He couldn’t feel (too) sorry, because oh my god you laughed way too much at your own mistake !

He could’ve gone without your son’s reaction, though...

Bruce had to hear about it for days. Jason and Dick also thought it was so funny (mainly the fact their little brother would keep bringing it up). But none thought it was funnier than you did.

So. Yes. A broken hand. Ah, but did that deter you from slapping your husband’s ass every chance you got ? Absolutely not.

The instagram page

It was a secret.

A secret all of your children knew, of course.

But they pretended they never heard of it, and had the account blocked on their personal insta feed.

Yes. It was a “secret”.

What, you might ask ?

An instagram page, with pictures of your husband’s perfect butt.

An instagram page...ran by you, of course.

Because : “sharing is caring, it’s not fair if I’m the only one who can admire it.”

So, no. You were not about to share him with anyone really. You wouldn’t be the only one admiring it, but you’d stay the sole “batbutt toucher” on this planet (other planets included, actually).

But you loved to brag about him. Plus, you thought it was HILARIOUS to open such an instagram page.

Of course, you were the only who found it funny. But oh well, it was worth it. And those accounts racked quite a bit of followers.

Somewhere on the web, there was also a “BruceWayneThighs” page, and a “BruceWayneJawline” one...Mmm, wondered who made those, eh ?

More effective than Kryptonite

Everyone remembers the absolute SHOCK on his face when Clark first saw you slap Bruce’s butt.

It was at the League’s headquarters, of course. Not long after they discovered that Bruce had kids, AND a wife !!

They were having an important meeting on a world class threat, when you arrived. You had come to bring Batman some lunch (that in itself was quite shocking). And as you were about to leave, you just casually gave him a slap on the butt, and said : “see you tonight hot stuff”, and WHAAAAT ?!

It rendered Clark speechless for a good minute or two. As if he had been hit by a fist made out of green kryptonite. By multiple fists, even.

“Did she just- did she- did- dshe-idshe-ddd-ugh ?”

“Once again, you shine by your uncanny intelligence.” Bruce sarcastically said, annoyed by this reaction. He disliked, when people commented on his relationship (some would say : maybe don’t make it so public ? But then, some learned that it was better to just not upset Batman too much).

Diana almost killed Clark, when she said : “I wouldn’t mind if she slapped my butt.”

Who were those people ?? The mighty Superman was about to have a brain fry, but then he noticed Bruce. Was he...pouting ?

And was it because of Diana’s comment ?

The woman was smirking mischievously, clearly pleased with herself. And the pout on the Batman was growing.

That day, Clark decided to pretend as if nothing happened. On one side, because he couldn’t fathom the Batman getting his ass slapped by his wife, and on the other side, because him and said Batman had just become friends, and he didn’t want to make him pout further by commenting his personal life.

************

Clark never got used to it though.

Over the years, he saw you countless time slap your husband’s butt, but he could never quite register the fact that this was Batman.

Right there.

Batman.

Him.

🦇👨, himself.

Getting his butt slapped (and clearly enjoying it, although he’d never let that comment slip as he didn’t wanna risk Bruce glaring at him).

It was odd. At the same time, it made him more human.

And though Superman would never get used to the idea of you just casually slapping your husband’s ass whenever you got the chance, he never thought it was something that you shouldn’t do (as weird as it sounded).

************

To reassure Bruce, except for Diana who reenacted the “I wish that were me” meme, every single member of the JLA went : “👁👄👁” when they first saw you do it.

They all got used to it, unlike Clark, but still. It was quite a shock, the first time they witnessed it. It was the way you did it so naturally, and how Bruce didn’t even react, that got them...

Unbeknowst to neither you nor Bruce, they all started to call that habit of yours “the batslap” (and thought they were very clever for their play on words...Butt slap, batslap...Oh yes, there was a reason why Bruce, was considered the smartest)

“I will never stop, you cannot make me stop.”

Over the years, even after many “incidents” and “troubles” born from you slapping Bruce’s butt, it never even once came to your mind to stop doing it.

It became one of those habits that was actually comforting to you. As if you and Bruce could be a normal couple sometimes, with your own little silly “inside jokes”.

Hell, when he was sure no one was around, Bruce would literally put his ass out just for you to slap...because as odd and ridiculous as it could sound, it became one of those thing that made you, you.

The woman he fell in love with.

Whom, even during the worst moments, would be there to cheer him up (and vice versa).

The woman who never hesitated once to slap THE Batman’s butt. THE Bruce Wayne’s ass. How many people like that existed in this world, uh ?

Yes, doing that got you a lot of time in troubles. Got you in delicate situations, in awkward ones, and even, a few time, dangerous ones (you didn’t wanna talk about it).

But never, NEVER would you walk pass your husband without slapping his butt. Nothing could stop you from it. No one could, either. You’d always find a way.

As you said all those years ago, it was as if your hand and his butt were magnetically aligned.

Of course, you’d exaggerate greatly all that matter. You found it funny, really. Besides the fact that you just liked slapping his butt, that is.

And Bruce ? Oh, Bruce wouldn’t have it any other way.

His ass, was yours to slap.

The end.

________________________________________________

Told you, it was gonna be dumb haha. Still had fun writing it. I’m getting married tomorrow, and took advantage of a chill time today before the mayhem to sit down a few minutes and write...I hope you enjoyed this story :). As per usual, comments/reblogs are beyond appreciated <3. Thank you for reading !

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yongislong · 2 years

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intimate moments + dreamies.

wc: IDKKK GAH genre: fluff/domestic/suggestive?/angst???/established relationships nonidol!dreamies/always self-indulgent lol

cw/note: no cws i dont think! count how many mf times i mentioned studying in this LMAO :| v long, i went overboard EEK enojoy!!!

mark... back rubs. he screams back rubs to me idk. like back rubs but also if you're stressed, he gives such good like upper back and shoulder massages like HELLO. the best part is he doesn't even really know he does it. its like those videos of him fixing hyucks posture, it comes so naturally to him. it almost relaxes him too, to just have you sit on a cushion in the floor in between his calves, while he dangles his legs over the sides of your arms and gives you the most earth shattering shoulder rub you've ever had, he finds comfort in your comfort and lets out all his stresses on your back as well lol. reserved for quiet moments, like usually when you're on the floor studying and he senses you both need a break or you're both watching a movie on the couch and he sets a pillow on the floor and you're already in position bc you've gone through the motions so many times lol. but sometimes he'll just rub your shoulders or neck while you're both just... shopping, cooking, walking, or while mark is waiting for his turn to play while watching chenle shoot a basketball with yangyang. v soft and nice, ur posture and shoulders feel better than ever (even ur lower back like he will dig his knuckles into any place on your back its insane)

renjun... online shopping next to each other. ITS SO... ok hear me out. he's a material girl, therefore converting you into a material girl... its just nice like, using a bit of your hard earned money on nice things is just... nice! you'll sit next to each-other and put on y'all's favorite comfort cartoon and go to town on buying makeup, skincare, a bed for your shared bunny, sweaters, you name it. its like the modern day instances you see in movies where the married couple reads before they go to bed TT. every once in a while he'll start poking your upper thigh asking questions and showing you cute things he finds or maybe you mentioned a problem you had with your skin or something and he's showing you some skincare/makeup products he found that might work for you or just clothes he thinks will look good on you. its cute when you both share a computer as well and just browse together. makes for quality time and helps both of you guys gauge each-others tastes and def helps when planning gift ideas. its funny though how much he would shift positions though LMAO like one second he has his legs straight up in the air resting on the headboard with his phone over his face and next thing you know he's in fetal position or grabbing your ankles to pull your lower half over his thighs to prop his laptop up on your legs haha

jeno... crocheting. LIKE THINK ABOUT IT, this tall, lean man who's 40% veins and 60% just pure muscle LOVES to sit down and make little hats for you and your shared cats and its... like its insane. neither of you guys knew how to do it until you saw videos of people on tiktok making hats and little accessories for their pets, and it inspired you. the next time you go grocery shopping with jen, you sneak away to the craft section and snatch a crochet starter kit. when you bring it back to the cart, he looks at you a little questioningly but you give him a smile and he ruffles your hair and demands you to promise to teach him. now you have a box tucked under your bed filled with small hats you and jeno have made your cats the hats he's made you are in your closet hehe. you do this at least once every two weeks. you sit down and come to a consensus about what to make and you both begin rummaging through the different colored yarn. when jeno's hands get too tired, he's pulling you to lay in between his legs by grabbing the sides of your hips. he doesn't mind sitting in silence but... if you're there... he's so talkative. so much to the point where sometimes you have to stop because he's making you laugh or react so much that your hands are shaking a ton and you keep messing up which only makes you guys laugh even harder TT, picturing him laughing so much he tucks his head into your neck to muffle his sounds or wrapping his arms around your waist tighter every time you tell a good joke... gah

haechan... watching your show. not a show that you're in just a show you share LOL but to me... intimate moments with haechan are a lot more personal and emotional? idk why i think of him that way after you guys have a long talk or even sit in silence for a while and come to a mutual understanding that u both need movie time, the best way to end the night and stop the tears is watching both of ya'll's favorite show. it could be something that came out years ago or something you both wait to air every friday BUT it's just nice! it could also be a movie, but just washing away the bad day, or even ending a good day on a better note, it's a moment where nothing else matters. on his bed, with the biggest white comforter he could find, like 17 plushies, turning the lights off but having the room be lit by the golden hour lamp he has as well as any scattering lava lamps or light up trinkets he has like the heart shaped fairy lights you got him, 3-5 strawberry cake scented candles lit and its just UGHHHH. both of you are both fresh and showered with dewy faces from your skincare, hair and bangs being held up by matching bear headbands he bought. OHH and the show HAS to match the season. scoobydoo mystery incorporated to celebrate october 1st... uhm YEAH! anyways you share his laptop which is covered in stickers he had made of you and his friends or just like random stuff, his wallpaper is you, his profile picture for hbo max is you and his password is your name/his nickname for you as he snakes his arms over you, he lays his head on your chest and drapes one leg over your waist like a koala

jaemin... late night convenience store visits. jaemin seems like a night person! he lives such a quiet life to people that don't know him very well, just walking around being gorgeous and smiling softly to everyone. until he meets you and he feels like he can be himself and is encouraged to by someone other than the dreamies. sure he has the other neos but not everyone knows him like you and jeno do. as friends, you would notice him on social media late at night while you were scrolling as a break from studying. constantly posting aesthetic night pictures of him and his views at the park or random, weird looking snack he sees on his private snapchat story. now, he has you to go with! moments like this are used as breaks from studying or just 2 am cravings for pizza bites. you both talk about nothing or everything in these moments. he has an entire folder dedicated to pictures of you in his phone and almost 80% are in the 7/11 across the street. OHH and one time you went to japan on a study abroad together and he lost his mind because the late night stores there are so good and omg he freaked out about everything and about how pretty you looked under the lights, etc. best two months of his LIFE. now he posts pictures of you in his private story instead. the dreamies lose their minds every time he posts bc oh my gosh, he used to go alone and they were all so worried about him but little did they know he just loves to look around and stuff or sometimes he would just go in hopes that he would catch you bc the store is in the middle of both of yalls apartments and NOWW he has you!!!! and they adore you as well and you bring out the best in jae. ugh :")

chenle...getting ready together. every moment with you, to him, is intimate. but he loves seeing you evolve from the moment you wake up puffy and sleepy, to picking out your outfit, and doing your hair or makeup if you wear it and he loves see you in your element. its such a personal thing to get ready together because, its something that was once done alone, until you found each other and moved in together. playing an any winehouse vinyl and having the crackling noises and music be muffled by his high-pitched laughter when he tries to style your hair and does an awful job or when he tries to help you brush up your eyebrows and makes them into a weird shape like!!!! and oh my god he laughs so loud you would think he was watching the funniest stand up routine in the world like jesus TT you have to remind him through laughs and a hand to his mouth that you do in-fact live in a complex with other people lol. but in all seriousness you are letting him into your personal bubble!!! and aren't even mad/awkward with him because he's touching you like this!!! you trust him this much, especially considering he knows how much you value alone time and personal space or just... even letting anyone see you in your rawest form. ofc he's honored to help you get ready and aids in picking out your outfit for lecture or work if you actually wear the outfit he gets so smug and flirty but he's practically bright red. and vice versa!! he likes propping you up on the bathroom sink and letting you help him trim his brows, put pomade in his hair, put on his moisturizer while he cages your figure by putting his hands on the granite next to your thighs, which encourages you to link your ankles behind his back. TOOTHPASTE KISSES... need i say more!?

jisung... watching him dance. I KNOW OK, basic but i mean come on, he's incredible and its a big part of him yet he's kinda blissfully unaware but also cocky in a way where he will do some insane combo or move and everyone starts freaking out and he's just stops mid dance and looks around like o_0 and is so confused as to why... like he's just... he didn't think it was that big of a deal LMAO. but he started to have so much more assurance in himself especially once he starts inviting you to the studio with him. he begs you to come, it usually doesn't take much persuasion but you were mid task or studying lol and you're like... babe can i finish... and NO RESPONSE he just smirks and shuts your laptop and goes over to you and drapes you over his shoulder or police style drags you out of the room by caging you in with his long ass arms while dragging you out the door. when in the studio its kind of a toss up of what genre he does but he tends to always allocate a certain genre to a certain feeling that plagued him that week. if he's had a hard week, it gets a million times better once he see your eyes full of adoration though the mirror and he stops mid dance giggling and runs over to you and hides his faces in your criss-crossed lap babygirl agenda BUTT if he's had a good week or something positive happened, he LOVES to drag you to the mirror and show you what he's learning. whether you're bad or you dance as often as him, he's always enamored. on more chill days though you justdance battle it out on the giant flat screen tv tucked away in the corner. he reaches over to the nobs on the wall and the music is so loud, but not loud enough to muffle the laughter and thuds of both of you guys falling to the floor from cackling so hard yes his dance teacher is mad lol

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mondstalgia · 4 months

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BL ships that I will never forget:

In a few weeks it's gonna be 14 years of obsessing over queer media, especially BL, so here are the ships always on my mind in no particular order.

Arata & Shingyouji (Takumi-kun Series 4: Pure, 2010): Listen the Takumi-kun Series from 2007 to like 2011 was my life as a (pre-)teen. In hindsight really sketchy but anyway haha. Those two really caught my eye back then though (especially their racy kisses) and I was happy they got their own bigger part in one of the movies.

Evan & Isak (Skam Season 3, 2016): Was there a queer European teen that wasn't obsessed with this season of Skam? I remember re-watching it so many times I could recite their text without speaking Norwegian. Plenty of beautiful Skam universe parallel couples out there but these two will remain the iconic blueprint.

ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to me, 2023): Almost unfair to put them on here but seeing how I haven't been able to think about any other ship every single day for the last 3 months, I feel like it's justified. They just have everything I want and need to get hyperfixated on.

Seiryo & Yuzuru (Seven Days, 2015): Oh my, the way I loved this silly concept and how funny it was yet they managed to get me all emotionally involved in the span of two movies? Insane chemistry and just..everything I needed back then. Especially since it was then one of the very few BL's I saw without a sad ending.

KornKnock (Bad Romance 2016, Together With Me 2017 - 2018): Listen, plot wise Manner of Death is the absolute height to me but when it comes to MaxTul I will never forget them as Korn and Knock in these series. Forever grateful to all the fanvids that led me to finding my BL fathers. Chemistry forever out of this world. Also shout out to Yiwha, best female character in any BL and my wife.

WinTeam (Until We Meet Again 2019, Between Us 2023): The couple that made me aware of what second lead syndrome was because I waited so long for more of them, it felt eternal. I don't think I will ever get tired of these two.

VegasPete (KinnPorsche, 2022): Who said I couldn't like a toxic ship? These two took me by surprise, I didnt even know they were going to be a ship in the series. Definitely acknowledging how fucked up they are yet at the same time it's the forst toxic ship that really got me. I love them, in my own weird way.

HaoGu (HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, 2019): I mourned them like I have mourned no other couple. I should have known from the title but they really lead me astray. My beautiful boys, the star crossed lovers. They still get me emotional now, I might go cry now.

Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare, 2021 - 2023): Before ChenAi there were Hira and Kiyoi who absolutely owned my heart. I love how misunderstood by BL fans they were who claimed their toxicity. Meanwhile I simply love how weird their relationship is and getting to see a real Tsundere in action. I'm obsessed with them.

Honourable Mention: Kim Jae Wook as Min Sun Woo in Antique Bakery, 2008. The very first gay character I saw in Korean media. Forever iconic, forever in my heart.

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yuikomorii · 6 months

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I know you’ve mentioned how Karlheinz seems to favor Ayato as the candidate for Adam (as seen through his actions/words in YB and DF) and I honestly feel like this is further evidence that Ayato is the most “upright” of his brothers. In Ayato’s MB Ecstasy Epilogue, Karlheinz mentions that vampires are attracted to evil and need to be set on the right path; then again in DF he says a main motive of the Adam and Eve plan was to create a vampire with human sentiments, as the loss of emotion in vampires made them inferior to humans in that sense. In my opinion the reason he seems to favor Ayato is because he’s the one most capable of expressing selfless sentiments, progressing as a person, being “pure-hearted” (as I know Rejet has described him as before), and just overall being compassionate, and these traits fit perfectly into the motives for the Adam and Eve plan mentioned above. Idk if this exact topic has been addressed before (and I’m just beating a dead horse lol), but I just thought your opinions were interesting and wanted to share my own thoughts! Also I love your commentary and analysis on the series/characters, it’s always super fun to read! <3

// Aww, I’m glad you enjoy them! I guess it’s been a while but I’m glad that Anon sent me something that made me return to analysing. 💕

I agree on your take, although I feel like that’s already canon at this point, haha. Ayato has always been highlighted as the most human-like one, even Japanese fans talked about that, but the only reason why some Westerners might disagree is because they know nothing about Ayato to begin with and only judge him based on HDB and MB. While it’s true that he was kinda crazy there, YB revealed that his possessiveness, obsession and blood thirst were due to the curse not trauma. For this reason, comparing Ayato to his brothers in HDB or MB is not fair at all, considering that these are two different situations. His brothers only started getting severe blood thirst symptoms in MB when they were awakening, while Ayato had to deal with those most of his life and even entered in a coma. Ruki's MB route also shows that Ayato is still cursed there and that his brothers noticed how he started going insane exactly after Yui was abducted to the point where they decided to lock him in the dungeon because he couldn't function without her blood anymore.

And speaking of the curse, I think many people don't treat it seriously enough. Imagine being physically and mentally tortured but still attempting to help and sacrifice yourself for others when your kindness is being abused in the worst way conceivable. That fig literally sucked the life out of him and he had to slowly watch himself fall into madness without being able to control it.

Nevertheless, Ayato is still able to be forgiving and compassionate towards those who have wronged him with or without dating Yui. He can be driven by some factors to do bad things, but his purity cannot be taken away; even Cordelia stated that there is something different about him and she’s not the type to say such stuff out of the blue. That’s why his routes are considered the ideal outcome of the story, they make the most sense and Ayato getting the happy ending with Yui is the most satisfying. I mean, every Diaboy deserves a happy ending but in all honesty, I wouldn't want the people whose words and actions have caused my life to be destroyed to find love before me either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#admin

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creatorisdumb · 1 month

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‼️‼️Random Smiling Critters headcannons I made for no reason ‼️‼️

All under cut. This one is long af, I don’t wanna take up too much room with my silly billys 🥺🥺🥺

DogDay:

•He’s a leash child. There is no way he isn’t a leash child. Anytime he and the other critters go somewhere new they HAVE to put him on a leash or he’ll get lost.

•He also has a mussel(?) that they put on him whenever he’s being a problematic emo puppy. He doesn’t wear it often but every other month CatNap just puts it on him.

•Speaking of the mussel, DogDay HATES baths. The girls got so tired of his ‼️STANK‼️ that they forced him to take a bath. He was so uncooperative that they used both a mussel and a cone on him.

•Whenever Picky cooks something with cheese DogDay will just sit beside her and beg for some. Average dog moment Ngl.

•His favorite toy is an old ass, gross fucking tennis ball that Kickin probably gave him. The amount of times he has been hit in the face with it is insane.

CatNap:

•He’s selective mute. Anytime he does speak he’s either forced too, high on the nip or VEEERYY annoyed. Whenever he needs to communicate he’ll just use sign language.

•CatNap can fall asleep anywhere. He could fall asleep on a cactus and he wouldn’t care. He’s a cat, anything is possible.

•He plays like a cat. Lasers, those feather toy things, catnip, boxes, string, anything.

•One of his love languages is gift giving. He’ll often give people he likes dead rodents or random trinkets. He likes to give Bubba dead or fake rats.

•Sometimes Bubba will give him catnip. Whenever he does, CatNap gets hyperactive and really talkative. He also tries to get Bubba to give him more, although any attempts will fail.

•He’s kinda the only critter who can climb. Because of this, to get some sleep time, he’ll just climb the tallest/closest tree he can find and sleep on a good branch.

Kickin:

•Short ass loser. Probably the shortest male. What a beta male Ngl. /j

•A very angry child. Whenever he’s angry he kicks (Haha get it?) and screams. Often times someone has to hold him back from beating the shit out of someone (That someone most likely being Hoppy)

•I don’t know if chickens are like this but idfc. He doesn’t like being touched on the back or under his wings(or arms..? Ig..?) for bird reasons. Bubba is completely aware of this and sometimes rubs those spots to piss off Kickin.

•When being held from beating the shit outta people he pecks at their arms to get free. His beak is rather sharp so it often hurts. Although Bubba is usually the one to hold him back so he tries to avoid pecking at Bubs arms. With anyone else tho, their arms end up slightly bloody.

•He probably uses Gen Alpha slang ironically (same bro)

Bubba:

•His favorite school subject is math. What a fucking loser. Lame. Lame!! Loser!!!! (Shhh…! Don’t look at my grades-!!!!)

•He’s probably the biggest of the male critters. He’s really heavy and kinda a fat boy 0-0 the only one who can get him at least a centimeter off the ground is Bobby. This freaks the shit out of him.

•At states earlier, CatNap likes giving him dead/fake rats. This has become such a common occurrence between the two that anytime CatNap gives him a gift box he has someone else open it.

•^^^ Bubba is terrified of rodents, especially rats and mice. He has mice traps everywhere, mostly in random, barely noticeable corners. (Blame CatNap, he’s done this one to many times)

•He’s got MAD rizz bro. Everyone but Picky (I headcannon her as lesbian) and Hoppy has had a crush on him at some point. Kickin was the only one who got lucky tho.

•His little charm thing can glow, although it has to be turned on for it to glow.

•He’s a bit chubby… he’s got that good chub. Make him a big boy, he’s an elephant, make him big.

Hoppy:

•You cannot tell me she doesn’t own a trampoline bro. You ‼️CANNOT‼️ tell me she don’t own a trampoline.

•That being stated, she will often stargaze on it during them good nights. She will also play on it with the other critters, although they often get off it once she gets a little too silly.

•She will often tease Kickin for being gay despite her being biromantic. The most sibling ever.

•Dumbass probably vegan. Carrot. Dumbass loser!!!

•Whenever she runs a certain speed she does a bunch of hops to pick up speed. No one knows why she does it. Not even her, she’s been doing this since she was a lil bun bun, it’s a habit at this point.

Picky:

•Girl is VERY protective of her precious kitchen. Whenever she’s cooking she doesn’t let anyone but Bubba or DogDay in. Anyone else and they will be yelled at in angry pig language.

•She cooks mad food bro. If she isn’t there you might as well just die, it’s not worth it.

•”Can we get McDonald’s?” “We got McDonald’s at home.”

•Her favorite show is Hell’s Kitchen and her favorite movie is Ratatouille and Rainy with a chance of meatballs. Change my mind.

•She and Bubba are high-key sibling core Ngl. On the second Tuesday of every month they exchange information. Picky will give him the other critters current diets, weight and physical health and Bubba will give her cooking recipes. No one but them knows about this.

CraftyCorn:

•Girlie definitely ate paint and drew on walls. She is the least likely to have never purposely tasted the purple watercolor pigment and drank the cursed paint water potion.

•She gets high off of scented markers, I don’t make the rules. Her favorite flavor of marker is blue.

•She probably bedazzles everything given to her. Oh that moldy chicken nugget? It’s shinier than a disco ball now. Your favorite hoodie you gave her bc she’s ur tiny girlfriend? She’s now a walking diamond. Your grandmas ashes? Granny has never looked better! Your kidney? The only kidney stones I’m seeing are the stones blinding me because holy shit, i have a bedazzling problem.

•She teaches the others how to draw during the weekend. Whenever someone finished a project she hangs them on her walls and her favorites go on the fridge. Bubba can’t draw, but he still tries.

•Since she’s the only one who really has hair, Bobby likes styling her hair into silly little styles. Her favorite to put on her are pigtails and braids.

Bobby:

•She loves physical affection. She loves touching, being around people, yes. She definitely gives the best hugs out of all of them.

•Bitch probably wears heart shaped glasses when out with the girlies. They do find it attractive.

•We need more fat girl appreciation bro. Make her a big girl. I wanna see people draw her as a unit. She’s a bear, give her chonk! Healthy fat girls are hot, make her hot XCCCCCC ‼️‼️‼️‼️

•She’s decently strong, due to bear. Not as strong as Bubba, but still pretty strong as she’s the only one who can lift most of them off the ground at the same time.

•She probably writes love letters to the others but never sends them. Right to the shredder!

•She and DogDay are in a poly relationship with the other critters. They are in a very happy relationship and it’s very wholesome.

Finally just for shits and giggles, here’s every time I mentioned a critter outside their own head cannons

DogDay: 2

Catnap: 4

Kickin: 3

Bubba: 11

Hoppy: 2

Picky: 2

Crafty: 0 (Fucking loser)

Bobby: 2

I do not have a bias. No

Not one.

#shit post #smiling critters #poppy playtime smiling critters #dogday #catnap #kickinchickin #bubba bubbaphant #hoppy hopscotch #picky piggy #craftycorn #bobby bearhug #headcanon #head cannons #head canon

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kodared · 1 year

Text

☆ Welcome home Neighbor~! ☆

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Human Reader x Welcome Home!

Something is wrong with this House, and it wasn't the atrocious color scheme.

Chapter 7/?

Word Count: 3,762 Out of 20,428

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Julie quickly abandoned brushing your hair, practically throwing the brush on the couch as she lept off of it, taking off in the direction of where you assumed her room was.

You moved to pick up the brush from the couch, scooting yourself to be more comfortable as you brushed through the back of your hair on your own,

You had to admit, Wally and Julie did do a good job of getting most of the knots out, but some were harder to get than others sadly.

Seeing as Julie was absent from the couch, Wally moved closer to you again, both of your arms practically touching as he stared at you, the buzzing behind your eyes suddenly didn't feel comforting anymore.

Wally stared at you for a minute or two longer as you brushed the knots out of your hair, struggling with a few of them before he spoke,

“are you excited to meet home?”

You tried desperately to focus all your attention on your hair, pleading internally for him to stop staring at you, your hands shook as they held the hairbrush.

“I mean yeah, They’re Julie's friend, and Julie seems nice so,”

Your words felt clunky and scattered as they left your mouth, Wally staring made you anxious, and you didn't know if it was because of your normal anxiety, or the fact he might be the reason you were here to begin with.

“they're my best friend too,”

Wally leaned back on the couch, breaking his stare for a moment as he sunk into the soft plush of the sofa.

“there was this one time me and julie were painting, and home, being the trickster they are, moved one of their shutters to splash paint on me!”

Wally broke out in his monotone laughter again, if you had any comfort from Wally looking away from you it just left.

“Wait, Home is an actual home?”

You put the hairbrush in your lap as you, regrettably, made eye contact with Wally again, you knew you were currently living with talking puppets, but a sentient house? That was a whole new world of insanity.

“ha ha ha, yes, of course, i live with them after all.”

Suddenly it all clicked in your brain. Home was the red house in the center of the Town with large eyes, and worst of all Wally lived there.

“neighbor? are you alright?”

Wally waved his hand in front of your eyes, you must have dissociated and never noticed.

“Haha, uh yeah Im alright Wally. Sorry, this is all new to me,”

A pathetic excuse, but it seemed to calm Wally. Your hands busied themselves with picking at a few loose threads on the clothes Sally gave you, they shook as you tried desperately to calm yourself.

“So, your hair…”

You tried to busy your mind with more questions to Wally, you didn't know a whole lot about him after all, and he still had his hair curlers in, though he began pulling a few out.

“Do you have to style it in the morning? Or is it just like that?”

Wally hummed lightly as he thought before speaking,

“well, i take a shower, then i curl my hair, then i have to gel it and sometimes i use hairspray..”

Wally seemed to enjoy talking the most about his hair routine, you zoned out until Wally was finished going into detail on his complex hair routine in the morning.

“Wait, you have a shower? I thought you guys were felt and didn't really.. Need those,”

“ha ha ha, what a silly silly thought neighbor,”

Removing the final curler from his blue hair, he set them all on Julie's table before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a makeup mirror, moving his hair into the proper spots before he would need to gel it,

You had to admit, he looked nice with his hair down,

“what are we supposed to do if we get paint on us? leave it? we need showers just as anyone else would,”

…You would have to ask Howdy when you got home later to use his then. The feeling of dirt on your skin became very irritating very fast.

“Well, that's good to know I guess,”

You pulled your legs up on the couch, curling in on yourself while you picked at your nails, removing any dirt that may have been stuck from the previous day.

“what are those?”

Wally once again was back to breathing down your neck to your dismay. He practically leaned on you as he hovered his hand over your arm, almost as if he was asking to touch you,

You allowed him, not seeing a reason to not let him as you moved your arm to his hand. You could swear his smile got wider.

“wow, you humans really are intricate,”

Wally moved from your arm to your wrist examining your hand, focusing his attention on your nails specifically.

“why are the tips of your hands harder than your skin?”

He tapped at your nails with his finger, and you couldn't help but giggle at his childlike wonder at how you worked, all of the neighbors acted excited to know more about you it seemed.

“Well those are nails Wally, they're kinda like.. Claws, and they grow a lot, so does my hair,”

Just as you finished speaking with Wally about your nails and hair, Julie came running back into the room, holding various cans of paint in her small arms,

“C'mon, cmon!! I can't wait to give Home a good ol’ Spa Day!”

Wally stood from the couch to help Julie with the various paints she was holding, he tried desperately to flip his hair out of his eyes, and he failed, miserably.

So being the kind and anxious person you were, you quickly pulled his bangs from his face, trying to not think about it too much as you walked to the door to hold it for them.

Wally seemed to appreciate your kind act as he gave you a friendly smile that was somehow brighter than normal. He walked beside you and Julie as you walked to Home, and oh boy you were not excited to meet home anymore.

You moved one of your hands to hold the bridge of your nose, feeling the hum behind your eyes pick up in frequency as you approached the red house.

Desperately trying to console yourself before you would be forced to speak and interact with Home, you took a few deep breaths, composing yourself as you approached the red house.

Julie was walking to a song in her head as she walked with a bounce, it reminded you of how a cartoon character would walk, she turned to you, her eyes practically sparkling.

“Are you excited to meet Home? I'm excited, that's for sure!”

Wally turned around too, you suddenly felt very pressured to feign excitement. I mean it would be rude to not, Julie was friends with Home and Wally lived with… in…?

With. Wally lived with home,

“Uh.. Yeah, I am..!”

You forced yourself to smile, the corners of your mouth twitching in betrayal to the joy you were feigning. You just hoped neither of them noticed,

Julie smiled and went back to walking at her upbeat and charismatic pace, while Wally's eyes lingered on you a while longer, You looked anywhere but at him.

It didn't take long to approach Home, with Wally calling out to them as Julie practically dropped the paint she was holding to run and hug the side of the house,

“Home!! It's been too long..! We have this amazing idea..-”

Homes shutters creaked as they waved them in a fond greeting to Julie as she continued to ramble, Wally smiled fondly as he walked past Julie to the front of Home,

You followed behind Wally reluctantly, trying to convince yourself Home might be chill, maybe you were being too anxious, after all this was a world full of puppets.

You couldn't be more wrong, unfortunately.

The trees and flowers surrounding it did nothing to distract you from its eyes. They were big pools of black emptiness, with no pupils.

A faint black ink seeped from the bottom of the windows, leaving an uncanny valley to creep into your head the more you stared.

If Wally was talking, you weren't paying attention. He set down the various cans of paints as he waved his hand in front of your face,

“neighbor? it's rude to stare..”

You snapped out of it as Wally focused his attention directly on you,

“Oh, sorry Wally, it's.. nice to meet you... Home,”

Home waved the front door, clicking and shutting it a few times as Wally smiled,

“they say hello,”

Julie made her way to the front of the house, the paint cans clinking together as she focused on not spilling them.

“You can understand them?”

To you all that Home sounded like a series of clicks and creaks, but maybe it was Morse code..?

Wally let out a laugh,

“haha, of course i can silly, me and home talk quite often actually,”

Surprisingly that didn't creep you out as much as you thought it would, it only made sense for Wally to begin to understand Homes way of speaking after a while. How long had Wally lived here anyways..?

“well! ill be back soon neighbor, i must gel my hair before it dries,”

Wally walked to the door and Home politely opened it for him, Homes eyes going cross as they tried to look at Wally before closing the door behind him. Leaving you and Julie alone with Home.

“As i was saying Home! I have sooo many blues that I think would look darling on your shutters!”

Julie sat criss-cross on the ground in front of Homes… eye? As she popped open a few cans of paint. The smell reminds you of when you had to paint your old room.

You tried to desperately shake off the feeling of being out of place, sitting down didn't calm you either. You still felt like you were being analyzed and picked apart, but Home wasn't even looking at you.

Oh but when they did... It was a whole different story.

Your hair stood on end as Home took its attention off of Julie. Staring at you. You suddenly felt small as the smell of the warehouse somehow hit your nose.

Visions of Homes' old Rusted eyes that were forced shut from years of wear and abandonment danced across your vision. This all felt too much.

You lightly stimmed your hands as you desperately tried to calm down. You were fine, Julie wouldn't let anything bad happen to you after all, right?

Looking up at where Julie once was, you saw nothing. Julie was gone. Leaving you alone with Home.

You stood quickly, tripping over your feet as your vision became more spotted, Black spots pranced around your vision as you swear you could have seen Red strings attaching themselves to nothing in Homes eyes.

An empty void. Filled with nothing but swirls and Red, you were its next victim.

Your legs shook, and the ground beneath you somehow felt uneven and like it would collapse at any minute.

You had to get back to Howdy.

You took off in the direction of Howdys shop. Who cares if Wally and Julie would look for you later, you needed to get somewhere safe.

Before you could get far, however, you felt the hum behind your eyes increase. Feeling like a swarm of bees behind your eyes, no. Wasps.

Stinging at your brain as you tried to think of ways to escape.

You collapsed. Your heart felt as if it was practically beating out of your chest.

Your hands gripping desperately onto the soft grass, trying to get your bearings as your eyes felt like they were swirling.

As the pain amplified in your head, you gave up. Laying down on the grass as you felt something faintly grasping sharply at your Ankles, you had no energy to fight anymore.

Before you slipped under the warm blanket of unconsciousness, however, Your brain was quickly snapped out of the spell it was under as Homes door swung open.

You turned around, your head feeling faint as you saw Wally standing in the doorway, his hair faintly in the position of its usual Pompadour, stray hairs fell in his eyes as he panted.

“Neighbor! Are you Alri..-”

You didn't give him a chance to respond. Practically crawling away from him before you could kick yourself back up on your feet, Running straight to Howdys.

You could faintly hear Wally yell after you as you picked up speed, barely brushing past Eddie as he walked to his Post Office. If he said anything to you it was Ignored.

Practically falling onto the glass door of Howdys shop, you gripped firmly onto the handle. Scared of your shaking legs collapsing.

Howdy was nowhere to be seen. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you could hear Wally and Eddie yelling after you, You slammed the door shut without care and took off to Howdys Office.

You run to the bathroom and click the lock shut with inhuman speed. This was the only place with a lock that you knew of, and you needed space.

You wanted to go home. You collapsed onto your butt, pushing yourself away from the bathroom door as you felt a cool breeze hit your skin.

You shook as your hands slammed over your ears and a ringing picked up in them. You were scared, and as much as you wished Howdy was here, you couldn't keep burdening him with your issues.

You could now hear Wally outside the door, oh how you wished it was Eddie instead.

“Neig…bor? If you can hear me, say something,”

As he spoke his voice sounded.. Different. It no longer held a calm tone to it, he sounded worried.

You stomped your foot in response, you didn't feel verbal as of now but you wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Good..! good, i know you must be.. scared.”

Understatement of the year ladies and gentlemen! You rolled your eyes to no one.

Wally sighed before continuing,

“would you mind if i came in? it will only be me, eddie went to franks,”

Again, you wished Eddie was here instead. The kind mailman wouldn't hurt a fly, Wally, however, you didn't know.

…If he lived with Home he may know something though.

You scooted closer to the door, pressing your back against it,

“I'd rather talk with the door closed... Your staring is creepy.”

You didn't feel like sugarcoating right now, your anxiety would normally do so if you weren't so amped on adrenaline, and probably hunger.

Wally laughed an airy laugh, this laugh felt different from his other ones though, he sounded.. Normal.

“Haha.. what if i promise to keep my eyes on the floor?”

A thump hit the door as you felt something push against it, seemed like Wally was getting comfortable.

“No.”

You heard shuffling,

“what if i say please?”

You lay your head on top of your knees, groaning at Wally's poor attempt to persuade you into opening the door.

“....if you open the door.. i can tell you what happened with home.”

Your head snapped up from your knees as you almost hit the door in shock, you quickly stood and unlocked the door on shaky knees.

“You need to tell me everything you know.”

Wally looked up from his spot on the floor as he flailed to stop himself from falling as the door opened.

Suddenly his smile didn't seem that forced, and his messy hair looked natural,

“okay,”

It took you and Wally a few minutes to settle in the bathroom, it was a bit awkward sharing the small space with someone you once held distaste for, but here you were.

“So, spill puppet man.”

You stared at him with hopefully the same intensity he once did to you, it seemed to be working as he averted his gauze. His hand raised to fidget with a few loose strands of hair,

“you must understand, home is good at heart.”

“I didn't ask that.”

Your posture went rigid as Wally went to Homes defense. If Wally was going to act like Home was a good guy after what just happened you would go back to sulking.

“right, sorry.”

Wally met your eyes again as he stopped fidgeting and clasped his hands in his lap,

“home wants us all to be happy, this place is made to be happy,”

His eyes met the floor again as he continued,

“so, sometimes when home meets someone who… isn't. happy,”

Wallys' hands picked at a few loose threads, looking as if he was reminiscing on a bad memory.

“they try to fix it. they bring them here, or they try to fix you”

Suddenly you couldn't breathe.

“So Home brought me here?”

Wally looked at you, his nonexistent eyebrows creasing in worry and sadness,

“yes and no, see-”

You stood, all feelings of anxiety practically flooded into the floor as you became angry,

“What do you mean Yes and No.”

Wally grew nervous, feeling the tension rising in the small space you both occupied at the moment,

“dont get the wrong idea Y/N..! i didn't know this would happe..-!”

“You didn't know this would happen..? What do you mean You?”

Wally grew more anxious. He looked like he was about to cry, which is when you started to try to calm yourself down. Taking deep breaths and dropping the fists that your hands had formed impulsively.

“Wally, I need you to be honest, did you have something to do with how I got here?”

Wally didn't need to say anything, you already knew from the way his pupils shrunk to pinpricks. He kept trying to form a sentence, only to fail.

“Wally. I need to get home, how did I get here?”

Wally let out a nonexistent breath that he seemed to be holding,

“i.. i don't know much myself. Home, in a way to protect us, blocks our memories.”

Of course he didn't know, this was just your luck.

You slid back down the wall holding your head, your fingers digging into your various locks of hair as you groaned.

“Wally you need to tell the others. This isn't right, they deserve to know.”

“what makes you think they don't?”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at Wally, feeling anger bubble in your chest,

“Because who would be okay with this? This... This is inhumane! Having memories wiped..? All in the vain attempt to be happy!?”

Wally sighed as his head drooped, a few stray hairs falling out of the loose pompadour he once had.

“neighbor you must understand, this place is safe. there is nothing to worry about here, everyone is friendly, why wouldn't you want to stay?”

Wally had you there, this place did seem miles better than the life you lived in your town.

“Because I have a life at home, Wally. My Home. And I don't exactly fit in here. Yknow, because I'm not a puppet”

You raised your hand to point a finger at him,

“By the way if I turn into a puppet, the nonexistent crime rate here is gonna skyrocket.”

Wally again let out a genuine laugh before speaking,

“no, no you won't turn into a puppet, honestly i don't know where home found you, your nothing like we’ve seen before.”

You groaned and dropped your pointing hand,

“Great so I'm basically still as lost as I was yesterday. This is getting nowhere.”

Wally stood and moved to sit beside you, putting his hand on your shoulder,

“if it makes you feel any better frank may be able to help, i can ask if we can speak with him tomorrow,”

“That seems to be the best bet sadly,”

You both flinched as you heard knocking at the Bathroom door before a familiar voice spoke,

“Y/N..? Are you in there?”

Wally stood quickly as he dusted himself off, straightening his cardigan before attempting to fix his hair the best he could, you tried to stifle a laugh at the man's obsession with his vanity.

“Yeah, me and Wally are in here Howd’s,”

You walked to the door, unlocking it and opening it widely to show Howdy you and Wally were, in fact, in the bathroom.

Howdy smiled and gave Wally a fond smile, before focusing his attention on you, his eyes going wide with worry.

“Y/N! Are you alright, your looking pale..”

One of his hands shot to your head while the others gripped onto your arms, he seemed scared that you were going to faint at any moment,

“Ah.. I'm alright Howdy, just had a bit of a panic attack, Wally helped me though,”

Wally walked beside you and gave a smile to Howdy,

“it wasn't any trouble at all, just helping where i can,”

Howdy finished analyzing your face and holding a palm to your forehead to acknowledge Wally fully,

“Thank you Wally, I must have been too busy organizing the Stock to notice Y/N enter the Shop,”

Howdy stepped away from the door to give Wally and you room to exit, Wally walking ahead of you,

“again it was no problem howdy..! happy to help,”

Howdy laughed before jabbing his elbow into Wallys' arm,

“You're also happy to help yourself to some apples..! Isn't that right Mr.Darling?”

Wallys' smile curved mischievously as he walked out of the Office, leaving you and Howdy alone in his Office,

“..What happened to get you so shakin’ up Honeybee..?”

You met Howdys eyes again and he looked concerned as always, you wished you weren't such a bother to him.

“The usual, Wally talked me through it though, but I'm still nowhere closer to getting home.”

Howdy walked closer to you, putting a comforting hand on your back,

“If it makes ya’ feel any better, Poppy made you a blueberry cupcake, Her baking always makes me feel better at least,”

You giggled as your anxiety ebbed from your body at Howdys comforting gesture,

“Sure, can't wait to try the Towns famous bakers cupcake,”

—-----------

Wally stepped into the dark living room. His hands still fluttered around a few loose threads before Home shut the door behind him.

A flurry of Slams came from his bedroom door.

“Wait..! Im happy..! They didnt do anything, i promi..-!”

—----------

Woo!! Another chapter ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง im happy to have this one out before the Weekend begins!

Don't forget my Requests are open for Oneshots and Headcanons!

Keep an Eye out for This weeks Oneshot!

Howdy X Reader (Angst)

Psst.. hey you... Do you wanna get Chapters the second they come out? Check out my Ao3!

#wally darling #wally darling x reader #hurt/comfort #panic attack #home #welcome home #Welcome Home neighbor #Chapter 7 #WHN #Howdy pillar #Howdy pillar x reader #Welcome home

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