#this whole thing just makes me anxious all the time. i try to tell myself it isnt bothering me but not knowing why any of this is actually l | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justmeinadaze · 3 months

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Don't Be So Hard (Steddie X Plus Size You)

"Don't be so hard on yourself The name of the game is humiliation, And thanks for your admiration. I never thought I'd say this: The way that we play has its confrontation, And guilt by association."

A/N: New version of these beings for me to try out. Thank you @bimbobaggins69 for the idea by just being amazing <3.

This take place 10 years after events in season 4 so about 1996.

Warnings: Older Dom (30s) Coach Steve Harrington/Older Dom (30s) Professor Eddie Munson & Young (20s) Fem Plus size Sub Student Y/N (whew! That's a mouth full lol), SMUT, spanking, choking, degrading, voyeurism, use of sir, FLUFF, Eddie and Steve have an established relationship. ANGST (because I'm me), reader is plus size and gets name called by the jocks (they call her names like piggy), one of them does assault her (pushes her and yells at her; brief), Steddie saves the day, mentions of reader staring in a play that makes her anxious due to her body.

This whole dynamic is technically angsty (which is why I love it muahaha).

Word Count: 8679

“I fucking hate schools.”, you grumble under your breath as you hit snooze on your alarm for the fifth time that morning. The beginning of your junior year spring semester at Hawkins University started today but the idea of getting out of bed sounded exhausting. In Hawkins, everyone was in everyone else’s business and being the bigger girl some of the jocks felt the need to butt in more than anyone else.

“Hey Y/N. Did you put on more weight this summer? Those jeans look like they’re about to pop!”

“Should you be eating that, piggy? Maybe try a salad every now and then.”

You thought when you left high school, you wouldn’t have to deal with this crap anymore but unfortunately some of it followed you to college.

When you finally made it to your first class it was right before it began so you could avoid any unwanted conversation. You weren’t so lucky.

“Heeeeeeey, Y/N.”, football star Martin Click cooed obnoxiously as he leaned towards you from his seat above yours. “I was hoping we’d have some classes together, piggy. I missed you over the summer. You couldn’t bother to dress up for me?”

“Oh, sorry Martin, if I had known we would be sharing a class I would have made myself uglier but unfortunately for me that’s impossible since I’m so fucking sexy. Maybe you can tutor me on how to be a sloppy asshole.”

The breathy laugh that echoed to your ears caught you off guard as you glanced up towards the front of the classroom and met the chocolate eyes of your new Literature & Writing professor.

“I’m sorry.”, you whisper as red paints your face.

“No, no. No reason to be sorry. I thought it was a good comeback.”, he grinned making you blush even more. “Mr. Click, should I tell Coach Harrington that you’re more focused on ladies attire than my class or are we going to behave this semester?”

Rolling his eyes, Martin leaned back in his chair making the professor smugly smirk as he winked in your direction.

“As I’m sure ya’ll are aware, I’m professor Munson and if you’re here because of my reputation then I will kindly ask you to leave. I’m not here to talk about my past or my family history.”

You had heard rumors about Eddie Munson and of course knew all about him being on the run back when you were little. You parents never let you leave the house or play outside for fear that the “satanic Hawkins killer” would snatch you up and make you his next victim. As you grew up and read more about what happened, it seemed less to you like he did anything at all and obviously the chief agreed because Mr. Munson was never tried or did any prison time.

No, you weren’t interested in his past. You were interested in the things he could teach you. After overhearing one of his lectures, you were fascinated with the way he told a story and explained the material. He got so animated to an adorable degree and as a theater major you thought it would be fun to see how he interpreted literature while getting the final English credit you needed.

When no one moved he smiled and began talking about usual first day things such as the syllabus and what to expect over the semester. After the class had ended and everyone left, you stayed behind and quietly made your way to his desk.

“Hey, um, I’m sorry if I was rude or—”

“I didn’t think you were rude. If anything, he was and definitely needed to be put in his place.”, he interrupted without looking your way as he sorted through papers in front of him. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Yes, sir. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen some of the plays you were in on campus here. I dragged my friend to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream and you actually got him to pay attention.”, Mr. Munson smiled as he finally lifted his head to look your way. “You were very good.”

“Oh, um, thank you very much. That means a lot coming from you.” He tilts his head at your comment as blush fills your cheeks again. “I just meant I’ve seen some of your lectures before and you’re an amazing storyteller. You excite me, I mean you make me want to pay attention to, I mean… ok, let’s pretend I just left right after class and didn’t just embarrass myself.”

Hugging your books to your chest, you power walk out the door as his chuckle fills your ears.

***

With a break between periods, you hastily headed for the gym after lunch to change and get out on to the track by the field. Contrary to popular belief, you were fairly athletic despite your size and enjoyed letting off steam as you pumped your legs as fast as they could take you.

As your music blared loudly in your ears, the feeling of eyes watching you grabbed your attention towards the bleachers where Coach Harrington was standing with his arms crossed and leaning to the side as Professor Munson balanced his arm on his shoulder, murmuring something to him as their eyes followed you.

Trying to block them out, you continued to focus on the path in front of you but was blindsided when a football whizzed past your nose almost hitting you.

“Whoa! Sorry, piggy. Have to keep your eyes open around here.”, Martin laughs as you roll your eyes.

Glancing their way, you noticed both men were standing straighter as if prepared to defend you if needed. You weren’t a weak little girl and for whatever reason you strongly felt like you needed to show them that. As you pick up the football one of the players lifts his hands running towards you as if expecting you to not be able to throw it but at the last minute you throw a perfect spiral to their coach who doesn’t even hesitate as he lifts his hands and catches it seamlessly from the air.

“Well, shit, gentlemen. Looks like I have a new passer.”

“Oh, no thank you, Coach Harrington. If I ever played a sport it would be with a team that doesn’t suck.”

Again, Mr. Munson snicked through his teeth as the man he was leaning on flashed you a big grin.

#############

That night you decided to run after hours, thinking you would be alone but were surprised when you saw Coach Harrington on the track.

“Shit! Sorry, you scared the hell out of me.”, he nervously chuckled.

“I’M sorry. I thought no one would be out here.”

“Yeah, normally there aren’t.”, he teased raising an eyebrow at you. “Well, don’t let me stop you.”

As he took off continuing to jog, you pushed your headphones on your head and started your run. After a couple of laps with you in your zone, your feet abruptly slipped out from under you as you tumbled forward onto the gravel.

“Whoa!”, Coach Harrington shouted in concern as he ran to your side and kneeled down. “Are you alright?”

“Ow. Yeah, I just…tripped. Fuck that hurt.”

“Let me see.” Without any hesitation, his hand gripped your leg and looked it over. “Oof, you may have a pretty good bruise there but you should be alright.” Rising to his feet, he extended his hand to you to help you up which you eagerly accepted while he gripped you tightly and led you towards the bleachers. “You must have been deep in thought because you passed me a couple of times and didn’t even turn your head.”

“I did? Yeah, I’m sorry. I just have some things on my mind.”

“No, I know what you mean. Eddie—Professor Munson told me what happened in his class. If any of those guys bother you again, please let me know. I’ll make them run laps or even sit them out of a game if I have to. Nothing scares these kids more than not being able to play.”

You knew of Steve Harrington mostly because of his parents. The Harrington’s were prominent members of the community and very well respected. In your high school there had been pictures of him from his days on the basketball and swim team when he was a student.

After he graduated, other rumors began to circulate about him spending time with the “freaks of Hawkins” but who cares. Not you especially since you had been labeled a freak since elementary.

“I, um, I hope you didn’t take offense to what I said. Your team doesn’t suck just…some of your players. I mean, not their playing ability just their personalities. FUCK, why can’t I talk today?”

His smile widens as he laughs from his gut making you don your own smile.

Coach Harrington’s eyes meet yours for a moment before a controlled laugh escapes his lips.

“What, um, what were you listening to so loud that you didn’t hear me yelling for you to slow down?”

Giggling, you gesture towards your Walkman.

“Just some CD I burned to get me pumped. Right now, it’s playing ‘Master of Puppets’ by Metallica. Have you heard that song?”

Something dark flashes over his face before he awkwardly nods and gets up leaving you alone on the bleachers as you stare after him.

***

“Are you fucking kidding me?”, you growl as you push on the girl’s locker room door to find it locked. “What is going on with me this semester?”

Glancing around and seeing no one, you brave the boy’s locker room, finding it open, assuming that in his weird state, maybe, Mr. Harrington forgot to lock up. As quickly as you could you showered and began to change into some comfy clothes.

The sound of something hitting the wall nearby froze you in fear as you gaze scanned the area.

No one nearby. It could be the janitor cleaning the coach’s office.

Quietly, you threw your things over your shoulder and tiptoed that way with the intention of ducking under the window of the area so you weren’t seen but the muffled sound of moaning had you pausing again.

“Mmm…Steve…Steven. Wh-What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.”

“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”

“Hey. Hey, hey, sweetheart. It’s ok. I’m ok. I’m right here, Steve. You saved me.”

Peeking through the window, you saw their forehead’s pressed together as Eddie gently caressed his cheek with his thumbs. A small sigh left your lips when they began to kiss each other again. With a bit of needy force, Steve turned him around and pulled his back flush to his chest. Gently nibbling on his neck, he reached around and unbuckled Eddie’s pants, pushing them down to free his cock that he promptly began stroking.

Fuck me he’s big.

You practically drooled at the sight, licking your lips as your palm absently glided under your shirt to rub your tummy.

With his free hand, Steve sloppily yanked down his sweats making you moan as you watched him spit in his palm and rub it between Eddie’s cheeks before gradually guiding himself into his entrance.

“Fuck, Steve. That’s it, baby.”

Clinging to each other tightly, Steve thrust his hips at a steady rhythm and you marveled at the sight as your fingers drifted into your own sweatpants and you began circling your clit.

“H-Harder, Steve, please.”

“Please.”, you whisper as you try to keep your eyes open and on them.

“Like this, honey? Fuck you feel so good, Eddie. I love you.”

Arching his back, your professor craned his neck to kiss the man’s lips as he pumped into him as hard as he could without hurting him.

“I love you to, baby. Shit, I’m going to cum. Cum with me, Steve.”

Nodding aggressively, he chased their highs until both men grunted and came. While they softly kissed each other your body trembled as you covered your mouth, trying to stifle your moans as the coil snapped. It wasn’t enough as both their heads turned meeting your eyes as you were coming down from cloud 9.

No one moved as the three of you stared each other.

Holding up his hands in surrender, Steve pulled out as Eddie straightened up, worry painting both their faces.

“Y/N…”

Before they could do anything else, you turned and quickly ran out of the locker room.

##############

What the fuck was I thinking?! I shouldn’t have watched them. Two teachers in the MALE locker room while I was touching myself. Shit. I’m going to be expelled for sure.

Sitting on the stage of your theater class, you focused on the script in front of you as you prepared for an audition your professor recommended. Mrs. Lilah always felt constrained by Hawkins when it came to material but this year she quiet literally said fuck them and decided to do Rocky Horror Picture Show.

As you read through your lines for Magenta, a clearing throat caught your attention.

“Hey Eddie!”, your theater teacher beamed as she waved at him and he smiled back before jumping onto the stage to sit beside you. He smelled strongly like cigarettes and a dash of cologne that had your head spinning as you continued to keep your eyes on the paper in front of you.

“Hey Lilah. I hope I’m not disturbing anything. I just need to talk to Y/N here about an assignment real quick.”

“No problem. She does have her audition for Janet in a few minutes and I’m dying to see her interpretation.”

That caught your attention as your head swiveled her way.

“I’m doing what now?”

“For Janet, honey. I think you’d be perfect. She’s a bit timid at first but comes out of her shell.”

“But…but…she’s in a bra for a good chunk of the play.”

“Yeah…does that make you uncomfortable?”

“Hm, yeah, Y/N, does people seeing your body in the shadows in an intimate way make you uncomfortable?”, Eddie murmured low enough so only you could hear.

“Let’s just do the audition and if you prove me right, we can talk about the wardrobe, ok?”

Flashing her a timid smile, you turn to give your attention to your professor.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? Skipping my class this morning? Oh, you mean when you watched me and my boyfriend have sex in the boy’s locker room?”

“The girl’s one was locked and I needed to shower—”

“That explains why you were in the locker room but not why you were there watching. Are you going to run and tell all your little friends about how you saw the murderous freak fucking the pretty, rich football coach?”

“What? No. I would never—”

“Mhmm. Look how much will it take to keep your mouth shut?”

“Nothing. I don’t—”

“Please, Y/N! Everyone has a price and Steve doesn’t deserve to lose all he’s worked hard for. So, tell me—”

“Will you let me talk!?” Glancing around to make sure no one heard your outburst; you lower your voice as you continue. “I don’t want anything or any money. I won’t tell anyone. I genuinely don’t care about your private lives. I’m really sorry I watched. I shouldn’t have…I just…”

Your professor’s eyes focused intently on you as he waited for you to continue.

“I was attracted. The way you two kiss and the way he holds you…no one’s ever been that way with me…” When your eyes dared to finally meet his, you expected anger but those gorgeous chocolate irises displayed a softness you appreciated. “I swear, Mr. Munson, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”

Nodding, he jumped down from the stage before turning to face you again.

“I think under the circumstances you can call me Eddie. Not in class but… I also think you should play Janet. You’re a very beautiful young lady. Don’t let any of these superficial idiots take away that lead role from you just because of how you look.”

#############

A couple of weeks had passed and nothing of note happened with school or your classes. You were cast as Janet, allowing Eddie’s advice to drive you as you maneuvered the role. Your professor and Coach Harrington had minimal contact with you but you always felt their eyes following you around.

Tonight, you were studying in the Hawkins diner off campus. You preferred it here then the library after hours because not only could you munch on some delicious food but no one was usually there that you knew.

As the bell above the door dinged, you glanced up from the novel Eddie had you guys reading to see said professor and his boyfriend entering the establishment and taking a seat. You couldn’t help but wonder how hard being out like this must be for them. They couldn’t share a booth or be flirty. They couldn’t hold hands or kiss, at least not visibly where people could see. You hated that for them since both seemed like good men. You wondered why they stayed behind here in this terrible little conservative town instead of moving anywhere else.

Hoping to slip out unnoticed and allow them privacy this time, you gathered your things and placed some money on the table.

“Is that my favorite piggy?”

You roll your eyes at the sound of Martin’s voice as you try to ignore him and head out the door. A hand abruptly grabs you but you slap it away.

“Don’t touch me.”, you hiss.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s Saturday and we just left an awesome party. Can’t you and I get along for once?!” His friends around the table behind him snickered as a big devilish smile stretched across his face.

“If you weren’t such a fucking dick maybe. Now leave me alone.”

As you storm out the front door to your car, something tugs your backpack, ripping it open as all your books and papers tumble to floor. Martin’s hand wraps around your throat and pushes you against the trunk of your car.

“You will show some fucking respect especially in front of my friends.”

“Aw, did little Martin get his feelings hurt?”, you sass. “Didn’t realize you had any.”

Your knee rises as you hit him in his stomach but he’s still faster as his palm reaches out to grab your shirt tugging you down hard onto the pavement.

Abruptly, someone grabs his own jacket collar and tosses him roughly away from you as Eddie quickly maneuvers around them both, kneeling to your level.

“Are you ok, sweetheart? Can you stand?” Silently nodding, you take the hand he offers to you and rise to your feet. He notices immediately that your blouse is torn and without hesitation shimmies out of his leather jacket and places it around your shoulders.

“Mr. Click, on Monday, you will see me in my office.”, Coach Harrington growled as he glared at the boy.

“Oh, fuck you! That fat little whore pushed me into it!”

“HEY!”, he bellowed making you jump as your teacher rubbed your shoulders comfortingly. “I would advise you to stop speaking. You’re already in a lot of trouble.”

“Pfft, you think I’m scared of you, Steve Harrington?! Yeah, my parents told me all about you and the disappointment you became to Hawkins. You’re fucking pathetic! I’m surprised they even hired you to coach us let alone your friend the freak! I guess those satanic rituals DO fucking work.”

The man’s body language stiffened before he did that controlled chuckle you had heard before.

“Alright, Martin, we can do this right now then. I was only going to suspend you but you know, since I’m so fucking pathetic I think I’ll just go all in. You’re off my team.”

“WHAT?!”

Turning around, he ignored the boy’s continued expletives as he faced you both.

“Eddie, get her books and all her things. We’ll take her back to our house, if that’s ok with you.”, he asked pointedly in your direction. All you could do was nod and try to bend down to get your thing but the metalhead stopped you before descending to the concrete to collect your things.

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! YOU’LL REGRET THIS!”

“Take it up with the dean. Until then on Monday, I want your shit out of my locker room or else I will throw it in the garbage. Come on, guys.”

Coach Harrington opened the back seat door for you, startling you when he closed the door a bit too hard.

***

When they parked outside of a home, neither moved as Eddie’s eyes scanned over his partner’s face.

“You ok, babe?”

His ringed fingers reached out to caress through his hair and in the rearview mirror you could see Steve close his eyes as he exhaled.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get inside.”, he answered curtly as he came around and opened your door and you followed both men inside. You stood in their living room silently as they threw their keys down and Eddie disappeared down a hallway.

When he came back, he handed you a t-shirt that read “Def Leopard: Tour of 88!”

“Go put this on and we can see about fixing your own.”

His eyes followed you as you entered their bedroom where the bathroom was located and shut the door. Removing your blouse, you could see a slight bruise forming where the strap of your backpack had been on your shoulder and some redness around your neck where Martin had grabbed you. Swallowing your pain at the sight, you put on the shirt they provided and folded his jacket, placing it nicely on the countertop.

Your eyes took in their fairly average bathroom, smirking slightly at the hair gel you imagined was Steve’s as Eddie’s hair was always wild even during class when he pulled it back. Both their colognes and bathroom products were side by side like any couples but the few things you knew about them had each personality standing out. Cigarettes were by the window near the bathtub where you imagined Eddie smoked as they took a bath together. On the floor by the shower, were some handheld barbells you imagined Steve used while Eddie took a shower or got ready so they could talk to each other about their days.

Walking back out to their bedroom, you noticed a guitar against the wall and grinned at its slightly cheesy 80s aesthetic. You remembered once hearing that Eddie Munson used to be in a band but for the life of you couldn’t remember the name. You wondered if he still played.

“Your student that you talk about…Y/N…she was listening to that song you played in the upside down. I just…it made me think of us…us finding you.”

What could he have meant by that…

Your gaze shifted to their dresser that had a vanity mirror attached with pictures taped to it. There were so many images of them together that made your smile widen but there were also photos of Steve with a young lady you remember seeing around Hawkins. She used to work at Family Video until a few years ago but you weren’t sure where she moved on to from there. Did you remember Steve there? No… you were pretty young though and focused on your own carefree life.

There were pictures of Eddie with the Hellfire club. They were still active when you went to Hawkins High filled with a cool group of kids you hung out with from time to time. There were whispers of the man that created it but everyone in the club always said good things about the former Dungeon Master.

They must have been in two different worlds in high school.

What must have happened to bring them together?

“Steven, you need to calm down.”

The sound of Eddie’s voice caught your attention after something loud slammed in the kitchen. You tiptoed down their hallway and paused on the other side of the wall.

“Fucking asshole kid, I swear to God.”

“Baby, it’s not the first time someone has said those things to us and it won’t be the last especially since we chose to stay here.”

“We didn’t exactly choose and that’s not why I’m upset.”

“Why then?”

“She…she seems like a nice girl.”

“She IS a nice girl.” Eddie sighs as he lowers his voice. “Steven, she’s a student and a lot younger than us.”

“Not a lot. Jesus, you make us sound ancient. She’s, what, how old you were when you graduated high school.”

“Hey, ok first off, rude.” They both giggle making you grin. “Second, again, she’s a student. She’s MY student. I could get in way more trouble than you.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you.”

“I swear, sweetheart, don’t we have enough chaos fucking hiding our relationship?”

“Oh, come on, Ed, you don’t like her?”

“I didn’t say that. I just… yeah, she’s beautiful and adorable and… fuck. We shouldn’t talk about this with her here.”

Collecting your bearings, you walk around the wall and knock on it lightly.

“Hey, there she is. I, uh, I fixed your backpack. Let me, um, see if I can salvage this top for you here.”, Eddie smiles as he takes it from your hands and heads for their couch.

“I didn’t know you could sew.”

“Mhmm. I can’t like whip up a brand new outfit or anything but I can patch things together.”

“Are you alright? Do you need any Band-Aids or an ice pack?”, Steve asks from his place by the counter.

“No, I’m ok. My throat is a bit sore but…” You don’t even finish your sentence before he’s turning around and grabbing an ice pack from the freezer, wrapping it in a rag, and sitting in front of you on their coffee table to place it on your neck. “Thank you. I like being choked but not like that or by that asshole.”

They both glance at each other as you blush.

“Yeah, probably not a joke to make right now. Sorry.”

“You apologize a lot.”, Eddie says from behind you.

“Sorry.” They laugh making you grin to yourself as you look down at your feet. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble. I’m not…actively…trying to do that.”

“Oh, no worries, honey. Trust me. What is he going to say? ‘Coach Harrington kicked me off the team after I drunkenly assaulted a girl?’ I’m pretty sure the dean will side with me on that one.”

Your silence makes them nervous and they exchange another look.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”

“I’m thinking about how I never expected Martin to do what he did. He’s been mean to me since freshman year but never aggressive like that.”

“You know that wasn’t your fault, right, princess?”

“Yeah, I know. I…I…” Unable to control them, the tears began to flow and a ring laced hand delicately reached for your shoulder, moving the things in his lap aside so he could hold you to his chest. Steve placed his own palm on your jeaned thigh and comfortingly rubbed against the material.

Once again you were engulfed in the scent of Eddie’s cigarettes and cologne as his cheek rested on the top of your head. You couldn’t explain why but you felt safe here with their hands on you encased between them.

It had been a few months since your last relationship and you could feel yourself dropping into that particular headspace the longer they comforted you.

“I’m…I’m also thinking…about what I saw that night…in the locker room. How you two took care of each other…”

All movement on your body ceased as they even held their breathes.

“H-How about we get you home, Y/N? I can give you this shirt after our next class.”

Eddie lightly pushed you to the side as he tried to stand but you hastily grabbed his arm stopping him.

“I heard you. You said I was beautiful and sweet.”

As your little voice flowed through his ears, his eyes squeezed shut trying to keep control.

“Y/N, maybe, he’s right. Maybe, we should get you home before—”

“Before what, Steve?” This was the first time you were using his name out loud and the notion sent tingles all through your body feeling like a little girl who misbehaved.

“Hey. You show him respect, little girl. That’s Mr. Harrington or sir.”, Eddie scolded in gruff tone.

“Edward…”

“No, Steven. Little girl wants to play with the grownups, then that’s how we will treat her. Now, we said, you’re going home. Grab your things and head towards the front door.”

“Why did you bring me back here, Mr. Munson? You could have taken me back to my dorm but you didn’t. Why?”

“Because people shouldn’t be seeing a professor drop off a student on campus.”

“But Steve said he was taking me to your house out loud to Martin.”

The man’s hand firmly came down on the side of your thigh making you yelp as you bit your bottom lip.

“He said show me respect.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.” Placing your hand on top of his, your thumb tenderly ran along his skin as you leaned against Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Munson. Like I said…no one has ever taken care of me or looked out for me the way you two do with each other.”

You were slightly surprised when his fingers gently came around and brushed your hair away from your face.

“We brought you back here because we thought you were safer with us here. After what he did, we thought that’s what you needed.”

“Am I not safe here?”, you whisper as you can’t help but rub your thighs together.

“Y/N… Eddie and I have been through a lot. What you saw in my office isn’t always how we are when we’re intimate. We’re not always…soft.”

“But I promise you, princess, we are nothing like Martin. If you wanted to leave…right now…that’s ok. We can take you home or call you a cab if that makes you more comfortable.”

He was giving you an out; they both were. You could leave right now and the three of you could pretend this never happened. You could pretend that Steve’s large hand on your upper thigh wasn’t turning you on as you thought about how those long fingers would feel inside of you. You could pretend that Eddie’s touch wasn’t getting progressively slower as the pads of his own fingers traced your cheek making your pussy clench around nothing. You could pretend the notion of doing something you shouldn’t and being at the mercy of these two men’s wills didn’t drive you crazy. You could do that…

Or…

“I don’t mind it not being soft, Mr. Harrington. I trust you and Mr. Munson.” Both men exchanged on final look of caution before your last sentence pushed caution to the wind. “Please, I need you.”

“I think since you saw us in vulnerable position we should get the same courtesy.”, Steve replied in a much huskier tone than before. Taking your hands in his, he pulled you to your feet and pushed the coffee table out of the way before taking the seat you had just been in. On impulse, Eddie leaned closer to him as the other boy wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

“Go ahead, Y/N.”

As your eyes shifted between their heavy gazes, you lifted off the shirt he gave you, unbuttoned your pants, and shimmied them a bit clumsily down your legs.

You stood there waiting for more instruction as they continued to stare at your body.

“Did you see our cocks?”

“Yes.”

Steve smirked as his boyfriend began to kiss his neck while his palm traveled along his chest down his stomach.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Remember that, Y/N. I don’t like repeating myself and Eddie is a lot nicer than I am in here.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Harrington.”

Steve’s eyes fluttered when the metalhead’s palm grazed the bulge in his jeans.

“Now, if you saw or cocks, then why are you stopping?”

“You said…I should be vulnerable, sir.”

Your small voice had them groaning as Eddie fumbled with the pretty boy’s belt almost desperately.

“Fuck. Don’t move.” He commanded towards you as his head turned to capture his boyfriend’s lips. Lifting his hips, he helped Eddie blindly pull his jeans down just enough to free his length. As he started to lean over his lap, Steve hastily stopped him with a smile. “You don’t want to see her, honey?”

He chuckled as he focused his attention back on you.

“Do you feel vulnerable, Y/N?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Hm. Not enough to not finger yourself out in the open though, huh? I mean at least you had pants on.”

“I-I-I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking—”

“No, you weren’t. Take off the rest so we can see you.”

While doing what he said, you watched as Steve pushed down Eddie’s pants as well and both men kissed passionately in front of you as they stroked each other’s cocks.

“Y/N, is there anything we should know? Anything we should avoid?”

“No, Mr. Munson.”, you answered, appreciating his soft tone as he asked his series of questions.

“You said you liked being choked but is there anything physical we shouldn’t do?”, Eddie groaned out as Steve lifted off his shirt.

You heard his question but couldn’t form an answer as your eyes starred at the scars that littered his chest. They looked like whatever wound created them was deep, possibly life threatening. What could have happened to him?

“HEY!”, he barked making you jump. “He said he’s not as nice as me but that doesn’t mean I’m easy going! Now, answer the fucking question, little girl.”

“I’m sorry, sir. N-No, I don’t mind being hit or p-punished. Mr. Munson, what happened?”

As you started to step forward, both sets of brown eyes glared your way freezing you in place.

“Do you know the stop light system?”, Steve growled in a much rougher tone than you were prepared for. Nodding curtly after reciting it to them, he got up and grabbed your arm, sitting you between them. “Now, we do have some rules, Y/N. The first rule is the most important. DON’T ask about our scars.”

“Our?”

Steve slowly lifted off his own shirt and tossed it to the side. He didn’t have as many scars as Eddie but they were just as deep and looked similar. Whatever happened must have happened to both of them.

“I’m so sorry you both went through…whatever hurt you.”, you coo as you reach out to graze your fingers down Eddie’s chest.

The darkness in their eyes faltered slightly at your sincerity and the metalhead took your hand in his, tenderly kissing the back of it.

“Second rule. You have to be vocal, Y/N. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, we need you to say red ok?”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Munson. “

“Good. Good girl.”

His praise made you giddy as you blush making him smile.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I have one more question, princess. Have you ever done anything like this before?”

“Yes and no.”

“Yeah, we’re going to need you to clarify that.”, Steve laughs.

“I’ve done rough stuff with dominate partners before. I’ve never been with two men before.”

The way you said the word men had Eddie’s eyebrow quirking upward.

“Are you trying to tell us you’ve only been with boys your age?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why did you feel the need to tell us that?”

“Do we make you nervous?”, Steve asks as his fingers dance up your arm.

“Yes b-but not because of you two, Mr. Harrington. I just wanted you to know j-just in case I’m not as ‘experienced’ as you both.”

Eddie’s palms cupped your cheeks as he brought your lips to his. You weren’t surprised by the nicotine that lingered there but you were by the tingle that ran through your body as his tongue caressed your own. When he pulled away you tried to lean forward for more but his grip held firm.

“We weren’t expecting you to be, pretty girl. You’ve only ever been with these little boys but you’re about to be fucked by real men, sweetheart. Trust us, we know how to take care of you.”

You moaned at his promise, turning towards Steve to crash your lips with his. He was a much more determined kisser, his mouth and tongue sending that same shock wave through to your core.

“Have you ever sucked a cock as big as mine?”, he panted against your lips.

As you shake your head, his fingers grab your throat just below your jaw as if purposely avoiding where Martin had hurt you.

“What did I say? How do you answer us?”

“I’m sorry. No, sir, I’ve never sucked a dick as big as either of you.”

Sitting back, his palm moved to the back of your neck, guiding you down over his leaking tip as Eddie adjusted your body till you were on all fours for them.

“Fuck me, Steve. She is so fucking wet. Her pussy is just tripping down her thighs.”

“Aw, you like being a bad girl, don’t you, honey?”

“Y-yes, Mr. Harrington. I like being a bad girl.”

“Open your mouth.” Doing as he directed, you quickly kissed his slit making him mewl before fully taking him between your awaiting lips. “Yes, oh my god. T-That’s a good girl.”

Eddie’s fingers glided through your folds causing your eyes to roll as you bobbed your head.

“Steve, baby, Jesus, she’s so fucking tight.”, the metalhead groaned as his palm came down hard on your ass.

“Yeah, Y/N? Did that feel good? You like when your professor spanks you?”

Yanking your hair roughly he tugs you off of him as you continue to stroke him with your hand.

“I didn’t hear that, little girl. What did you say?”

“Y-Yes, sir, I like when Mr. Munson spanks me.”

At your response he spanks you again right as he guides two of his digits into your core. Gripping you tighter, Steve forces your mouth on him again and holds you still as he thrusts his hips allowing his cock to hit the back of your throat.

“Good girl. That’s it, Y/N. Keep your throat open for me.”

Abruptly, Eddie swats his boyfriend’s hand and tugs on your shoulder, guiding you down the hallway to their bedroom and tossing you onto their bed. After completely removing the rest of his clothes, he climbs between your legs and runs his wide, flat tongue through your pussy up to your clit.

“Oh shit.”, you moan as your back arches into the feeling before yelping when his palm smacks your cunt.

“Watch your mouth, little girl.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry.”

Steve chuckles as he climbs in beside you both placing his knees by your head as his fingers grip your hair again.

“Can’t really blame her. I know how amazing your tongue feels. Then again, you may have some competition, babe, because her fucking mouth feels so good.”

Pride washes over you at his praise as you grip his cock and take him as far back as you can trying to continue to please him.

“I-It’s ok, honey. We can train this little throat. As—fuck—as you know, Eddie’s a wonderful teacher.” His boyfriend tosses him a smirk as his tongue flicks faster against your bud. “Are you going to cum? Cum, Y/N. Cum all over his face.”

Your hips grinded against him as the man’s mouth wrapped around your bundle of nerves and he pushed two of his fingers rapidly inside of you as the sound of your arousal to fill the room.

Steve backed away from you, allowing you to focus and breathe as your orgasm washed over you. As you came down from your high, Eddie lightly slapped between your legs making you jump and groan.

“Sensitive. I like that.”

Tilting towards their bedside table, he paused as their eyes met.

“Shit. I don’t have any condoms.”

“What?”, Steve almost wined as you tried to contain your smile at their desperate need for you.

“Steve, we’ve been together for almost 10 years. When was the last time we used a fucking condom?”, Eddie growled.

“We’ve been talking about adding someone to our dynamic for a while now.”

“Yeah but I wasn’t prepared for it to be tonight with a fucking student!”

“Excuse me.”, you finally pipe up. “I’m on the pill. I can understand if you still don’t want to but…I’m safe. And like I said, I trust you.”

Both men exchange a glance and you can’t help but giggle up at them.

“So how long were you going to wait before you said anything, huh?”

“Mr. Munson, you didn’t ask. I wanted to be a good girl and only speak when spoken to.”

They narrow their eyes playfully at you for a moment before Eddie grabs your jaw and tilts you till your face is level with his.

“You’re not cute, little girl. That little snarky attitude may have worked on those pathetic boys you were with but you’re in the bed of real men now. Don’t hide things from us you think we should know. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-Yes, sir. I’m—”

Steve’s hand cuts you off as he pushes you back against the mattress.

“We know. You’re sorry.”

Taking hold of his shaft, Eddie taps himself against your pussy making you squirm as you open your legs wider for him. Grabbing your hips, he slides you closer and gradually guides himself into your dripping entrance.

“Fuuuuuck.”, he moaned as he slowly pumped his hips. “We are going to fucking ruin you for anyone else, little girl. Goddamn.”

“How does she feel, baby?”, Steve asks as he leaned towards him to lightly kiss his neck.

“S-So fucking tight, sweetheart, you have no idea. I want…”

“What do you want, Ed?”

“I wanna…fuck her into the fucking mattress.”

Your pussy fluttered around him at his words and his eyes that been closed shot open as he placed his palms on either side of you and started thrusting into you aggressively.

“You want that, you little whore. I can give that to you.”

Much softer than his partner, Steve turned your head and slide his cock back into your mouth that you eagerly sucked on relishing the taste of him. As he pounded into you, Eddie’s lips kissed along his boyfriend’s chest making the man groan louder as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Bringing his lips to his own they passionately exchanged a kiss that had you mewling as the long-haired man rolled his hips hard hitting that soft spot inside you repeatedly.

Eddie’s head tilted back as his jaw went slack and you couldn’t help but reach your hands up to run your nails down your chest.

“I’m…I’m…please…”

Steve moved back as the metalhead grabbed your wrists and held them against the bed as his face fell beside your own.

“You fucking ask me, Y/N. You beg us to let you cum. Shit. We have control in here.”, he whispers in your ear making your shudder underneath him.

“P-Please, Mr. Munson. Can I cum? I want to cum on your cock, please.”

His hair tickles your face as he nods and the action of him tenderly kissing your cheek pushes you over the edge as the coil snaps.

“Fuck, that’s it, pretty girl. Came so fucking hard on my dick. I’m going to fill you up, princess, ok?”

“Please…”, you whimper as he slams into you, chasing his high.

Your professor’s grunts filled your ear and you turned your head into the sound as he warmed your insides. As soon as he rolled off you, a hand took hold of your ankle and yanked you to the edge the bed.

“Hey, hey, honey. No, no.”, Steve cooed with a hint of sarcasm as he lightly slapped your cheek. “Open your eyes, baby. What color are you at, Y/N?”

“Green.”

His massive palm slapped you a bit harder causing your eyes to fully open as you leaned up on your elbows.

“Green, what?”

“Green, SIR!”

You’re suddenly turned on to your stomach as rough hands lift your ass in the air while another set takes hold of your wrists and pulls your top half down and forward.

“Get rid of the attitude, Y/N. You think just because you came you’re allowed to be disrespectful?”, Eddie growls as Steve spanks your behind. “Now, answer him clearly without the tone.”

“Green, Mr. Harrington.”

As he ran his tip through your folds, you knew even after taking his partner, he was going to split you in half.

“Fuck me.”, Steve moaned as he began pushing himself into you.

Eddie’s head tilted to the side as he watched your face scrunch together.

“You’re alright, sweetheart. Trust me, I know how hard he can be to take at first but it will feel good soon. I promise, baby.”, he soothed and kissed your lips.

“F-Feels…feels good…now. Fuck.”

The man behind you smacks your ass at the curse, pressing further into your cunt till his hips finally connected with yours.

“Still green, babe?”

“Yeeeees, sir.”

“Good.” Clinging to your waist, Steve pulled back till he was almost all the way out of pussy before roughly slamming back into you practically punching the air from your lungs.

“Oh my god!”

With a slanted smile, he pounded into you as Eddie watched from the side, sitting up on his knees to occasionally run his fingers down the man’s chest.

“She feels really fucking good, right? Our young, new little toy.”

“Goddamn, I’m gonna fucking bust like a teenager.”

“Wait, pretty boy. You need to feel her cum. Her pussy fucking chokes your dick, I swear.”

“Fuck, Y/N, are you close, little girl?” When you didn’t answer, his hand reached around to grab you throat and lift your back to his chest. “Still coherent, you little slut? I asked you a question.”

“H-Harder, Mr. Harrington, please.”

As his forehead landed on your shoulder, he did what you asked till the bed began to jostle underneath you. A jolt of electricity shot through your body and you mewled as Eddie rubbed circles into your clit.

You took their conversation as approval and your arm circle around Steve’s neck as you came.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”, he grunted as he took hold of your chin and turned you so his lips could mingle with yours as he pumped into you a few more times before releasing his seed inside you.

You were completely drained and slightly sore as he tried to delicately pullout of you while you waited for what to do next. Usually, the boys you were with did the minimal amount of aftercare, choosing to just cuddle with you which was fine. You were surprised, however, when Eddie informed you the bath was ready when you were.

“For me?”

“Yeah, princess, come on. It will soothe your muscles.”, he murmured softly as he took your forearm and slowly walked you to the bathtub and guided you in. Your head remained lowered as you listened to him maneuver around the bathroom, sliding on some boxers before lighting a cigarette and placing himself on his knees beside you.

Utilizing the washcloth, he cleaned you pausing when your hand suddenly grabbed his wrist as he attempted to clean between your legs.

“I’m sorry. Just sore.”, you whispered as you let him go.

Eddie’s eyes scanned you over and you heard him blow out some smoke from his lips as he put the cigarette down in a nearby ashtray. His fingers moved some of your hair back and he pressed his nose into your cheek while he continued to clean you.

“It’s ok, sweetheart. You’re still doing really good for me. I know your little pussy hurts from how we stretched her open but we got you, pretty girl. You took us both so well.”

As his deep, comforting tone continued to whisper praises, you keened into the sound as you winced, trying not to grab him again.

“I know, I know. I’m almost done.”

Tilting your head, your lips found his, both of you getting lost in the feeling as he dropped the rag from his hand so he could cup your face and hold you closer. A throat clearing distracted you two as Steve entered the bathroom.

“I, uh, I have some clothes for you here, Y/N, whenever you’re ready.”

Nodding, you allow Eddie to help you out and lead you in front of his partner who took a seat on the edge of the bed. His honey irises ran along your body, checking for extra care you may need that they inflicted but unlike your assault earlier the only mark they left was the slight reddening of their handprints on your behind.

“How’s your throat? I tried not to grab you where—”

Your kisses startled him at first but after a few seconds his hand slithered tenderly behind your neck as he kissed you back.

“I’m ok. Just sore…and tired.”, you reiterate as your heavy eye lids dropped.

“Ok, honey.” Steve’s hands held you steady while Eddie dressed you in what smelled like their clothes as you swayed in his grasp. “You did so good for us. You deserve some sleep. Would you like me to carry you to the guest bedro—”

Both men watched with amusement as your shook your head before climbing over him and crawling under their covers.

“I guess we can sleep in the—”

“Please don’t leave.”, you begged in a little girl voice that pierced their hearts.

“Why does she keep interrupting me?”, Steve chuckles as he gets to his feet and yanks Eddie into his arms to kiss his lips. “She doesn’t do that with you. Or does she in class?”

At the word the metalhead became silent as he kissed his partner’s shoulder and crawled into the bed in front of you. His palm softly caressed your face and through your hair as Steve got in bed behind you.

“You’re worried.”

“Of course, I am and not just because she’s a student. That’s just the frosting on top of the cake that is our problem.”

“That sounds delicious.”

“Steven.”, Eddie scolds as they both smile. “She’s so much younger than we are.”

“10 years. Not much.”

“Not to mention the fact, that we are already hiding OUR relationship let alone another with a young, student. She deserves to be taken on dates and to live her life. She deserves to be seen not hidden.”

“So do you, honey.”

“Steve… we decided a long time ago to stay in Hawkins for a reason. We can’t be run out of town by these homophobic small, minded idiots. They’ve just barely started calming down when it comes to me and what happened in 86. And that’s another thing. What if…what if something happens? What if Vecna comes back or any other fucking monster? We can’t drag her into that.”

“Eddie, you’re over thinking again, but I see where you are coming from. Let’s…let’s take it one day at a time, ok? Who knows. She may wake up and decide this is all too much herself. She may not want to be with some…old, broken-down college professors slash coach.”

“Oh my god, baby.”, the long-haired boy chuckles as he throws his arm over his eyes. “You’re not broke down. We just have some wear and tear.”

Your palm reaching out and pulling Eddie closer as you fully folded into Steve silenced them. They relaxed into you as your professor kissed your forehead and your school’s coached nuzzled into your shoulder as they drifted off to sleep with you.

##############

@corkadymu @lilaclazer @aol19 @nailbatanddungeon

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mommypieck · 8 months

Text

𑄽୧ first time with jean 𔓘 ᰍ

kinktober day 1: cherry pop!!!

✯⁠ jean kirstein x reader

✯⁠ warnings: loss of virginity, brief oral, p in v

He's panicking, the thought of doing something wrong is basically eating him alive as he sits next to you in a cinema. You look so beautiful and innocent, but you know, what's going to happen tonight. You and Jean have been dating for about two months, but you never got past the 2nd base. You were scared, and he knew that. That's why Jean tried to make you comfortable by waiting. Hell, he would never turn to celibacy if it meant spending the rest of his life with you. But this morning, when you told him you're ready, Jean lost it. He hopes you didn't mean you're ready just for the date.

The ending rolls on the screen, lights turning all around the cinema

"It was great," you tell him, smiling from ear to ear. His heart stops when he looks at you. You're just so beautiful, and today you will be all his. You catch the look on his face, blushing deeply. Jean takes your hand, leading you out of the cinema. The whole ride home is anxious, but you try to fill the silence with thoughts on the movie. Jean basically shakes when he parks his car next to his house. He notices you are still wearing the same sweet smile ,and you're probably not panicking as much as he is.

"Do you wanna watch something or eat?" he asks with a shaking voice. You notice his nervousness, so you grab his arm, gently massaging it.

"We can go upstairs," you suggest, your feet seeming the most interesting thing for you at the moment.

"Okay." he breathes, kissing the top of your head. You giggle before leaning to kiss him on the lips. The kiss is sweet but leaves you both wanting more.

"I'm gonna wait upstairs," he tells you, flashing you a nervous smile. Most of the nervousness already disappears as he climbs the stairs. He knows he has nothing to be afraid of you, but he doesn't want to hurt you

He sits on the bed, looking around the room unsure what to do. He takes out the condoms and lube from the bedside table, scanning the two objects with his eyes. Jean's sure he has the right things, he doesn't wanna mistake the lube for soap even though it's basically impossible.

"You idiot, why would you have soap next to your bed?" he thinks to himself. It's true, he's panicking again for his own good.

The door opens, revealing you in a satin robe. Jean's jaw drops, you're not even naked, yet you make him lose his mind. You come back in a satin robe, making Jean's imagination wander. He wonders what might be under the robe, and it's soon revealed when you let it fall from your body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have anything matching," you say, looking everywhere but his face. He's stunned. You're standing in front of him in a red bralette accompanied by black panties. It doesn't match for sure, but he thinks it's the prettiest thing.

"You're so beautiful, love," he says, his voice almost turning into a whine. He's painfully hard in his pants, but he doesn't wanna think about it - the only thing on his mind is you. You come closer to sit on his lap, but you quickly jump off when he hisses in pain.

"It's okay, love. You make me so excited," he explains, bringing you on his lap again. This time Jean makes sure you sit on his thighs so that his cock isn't sandwiched right under your clothed pussy.

Jean starts leaving kisses down your body. He stops by your breaths, caressing them through the lacy bralette. He doesn't allow himself to take the garment off, he wants you to do it. He wants you to take it off.

"Can you please take it off?" you beg him but only receive him shaking his head.

"Can you?"

You flash him a soft smile before sitting on the bed. You open the bralette at your back, letting the straps fall down your shoulders. He watches every second with wide eyes, kneeling on the floor between your legs, his arms around your middle. His breath hitching when your eyes meet.

"Do you like me undressing myself?" you ask him just when the bra is about to fall down. Jean's speechless, he doesn't know what to say to you, he only knows that he needs to be inside of you right now. You finally thought the piece of clothing away, straightening your back. Your breathing is also deep, and you try not to close your eyes at the way Jean is looking at you.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on," he whispers, Jean can't even say it with his full voice because of how enchanted he is. He carefully cups your breasts with his large hands, he doesn't dare to squeeze yet. His fingers brush against your nipples lightly before he gets his mouth on your again. He licks a stripe right in between breasts, making you arch your back. He chuckles at how sensitive you are. His mouth travels downwards, sucking dark spots all around your tummy. You moan when he kisses the front of your panties. You've never felt like this before. Every touch feels like a fire on your skin, and you're sure you're dripping inside your panties.

"I'm gonna take this off," he informs you as he takes the garment off, leaving you naked on his bed. At the age of 19, he never thought he would see a naked woman on his bed, but here you are. He spreads your legs apart, his breath catching against your bare pussy.

"I wanted to go all the way, I thought we would leave this for another time," you confess. His gaze sunken, Jean doesn't want you thinking this way. He dreamt about making you feel good for so long, he doesn't care if he's the one not feeling anything, your touch is like a blessing for him.

"Can I still taste you?" he asks for permission, and he gets it. You gently pat his head, bringing him closer to your core. You feel shy because of the way he's looking at you. He watches your core as if it were the prettiest flower in the world. He uses his fingertips to spread your lips apart before his tongue touches your clit. You hiss at the stimulation, and Jean sees this as a positive response to continue. He swirls his tongue around your opening, focusing on your clit from time to time. You're sweet, addictive sweet in his opinion. His cock aches in his boxes, your moans are just too good. He reaches down to stroke himself through his boxers, impatience taking over as he undresses completely. Your eyes widen when you notice his size. Jean catches your look, and he smirks.

"I'll make it fit," he says, using your juices to lubricate his cock. he presses the tip against your pussy, slowly pushing in. You shut your eyes in pain, he's big, and it hurts.

"Shhh, it's okay." Jean coos, kissing your cheek. His other hand brushes your hair out of your face.

"Let's go a bit deeper." he grabs your hands, thrusting his cock deeper. He stills when about half of his cock is inside of you to ask you how you're doing. When he sees that you're taking him well, he thrusts the rest of his cock inside.

"I'm all in, you're such a good girl." he praises you, kissing all over your face. He pulls out until he's halfway inside of you before thrusting in again. His speed is slow ,and his thrusts are shallow, but it's enough for both of you. He presses his weight on top of you, and you wrap your arms around him. You've never been this close to each other, and it's exactly what you needed.

"I love you so much," he confesses, burying his face into the crook of your neck. It's too much for him, and he knows that if you keep squeezing him like that, he won't be able to last long.

"I love you too," you respond, and that's what tips him over the edge, he cums inside you in thick ropes. Jean falls on top of your body, embarrassed by how fast he came. You take his head into your hands, caressing his cheeks and telling him it's okay.

"Let's make you cum." he says, still embarrassed. He reaches down to touch your clit, rubbing it in fast circles. It takes him a few swipes before you're cumming.

The two of you lay next to each other, breathing heavily from what just happened.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes and snorts.

"Don't," you say, smiling at him. he returns the smile, cuddling your body closer to his.

"But I am big, right?" he smirks, making you slap his arm.

"And you cum too quickly."

"That's because I love you, and I'm so attracted to you."

taglist: @mcharris747 @huuuuut30 @krispsprite @bejewelledd @cawwn @veryninjanacho @jamayah @ffakegucci @merachannie @th3girln3xtdoor @iheartpieck @kawasgirl @st4rrlighttt @7haze @nigthmar3moon @softlilpeachxx

i just can't get these tags to work, im sorry

@dngerwayz @nwptune @universllypiratecolor @d1lf-luvr @nobody289x @gia999 @banchangsbbbg

#aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x you #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein smut #jean kirstein smut #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein x you

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vixenvoider · 8 months

Text

I ENTERED THE VOID STATE

in this post i will explain in depth how i entered the void state and what i manifested. i will be open to questions but if you ask something that i explain in this post i won't answer it just fyi, so even though this will be long, if you are truly curious i encourage you to read the whole thing. i am sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes that might be present.

overall story: i have been trying to enter the void for around 2 months now, and finally entered through a lucid dream. one thing i want to note before i tell my story is that i have been lucid dreaming my whole life (so if you never have, i don't know what good steps are for beginners).

the beginning: my journey started when i inadvertently came across a post about how someone else entered the void state and manifested their dream body and face. i was not into manifesting before, in fact, i actually had a problem with the whole concept of the law of attraction and didn't know there were other types of manifestation and never looked deeply into it. that being said, i have always been an open-minded person and also, a more or less spiritual person. i believe in a lot of "out there" things because a lot of said things have been proven to me (through experiences i find hard to explain so i'm not going to). i'm sharing this to let you know that due how deeply i naturally believe in such things i never really had a problem with my void concept, even though i experienced doubts (so for this area i really can't give much advice).

so after learning about the existence of the void state i searched "void state" on tumblr and skimmed some info here and there on it, what i came across included some basic methods on how to enter the void but i didn't fully understand them yet. that same night i followed a shifting guided meditation but i couldn't really get "into" it, i was a naturally anxious person who found it hard to relax so it just wasn't working, but i did see it through and try my best and i think in the long run it helped me. in the guided meditation i listened to, the person makes you walk through a door to get to your desired reality and even though the meditation didn't work, that imagery worked it's way into my subconscious and i had a lucid dream that night. i did not manifest anything that night but it was on purpose (i think). in my lucid dream i woke up in my bedroom. i looked in the mirror and decided i would change what i saw to a more desired appearance and it worked (i looked exactly like the person i was thinking of), then, i decided (with intention) to open my bedroom door and enter my dream house and it worked. at this point in the dream i thought that entering the void must be super easy since i was already basically close and could have done it there if i wanted to BUT i chose to wake up because i wanted to enter the void when i actually knew for sure what i wanted my manifestations to be. i knew i was going to want a lot if i really thought about it and i also didn't want to actually look like someone else (my whole lucid dream i was more trying to test my imagination and build my confidence). the next day i started making a void state list and writing down everything i genuinely wanted for myself.

experiencing doubts: things started to go wrong after that hahah, after my first beginner's luck(?) experience i was struggling to lucid dream (even though i've always naturally been a lucid dreamer, the times it occurs is still random and i couldn't make them happen) and meditations were only getting me so close. all in all, over the past 2 months i had 5 failed lucid dreams and several close, but failed, meditation attempts. this instilled some doubts in me, especially the lucid dreams, because apparently once you lucid dream it's meant to be quite simple but when i would affirm for the void in my dreams i would just wake up or the dream would continue.

another thing that caused me to doubt the void was questioning some of the stories on here. most of them i initially don't believe anyway because it's known there's many liars in the community and there seems to be a trend of people posting void success stories in an attempt to enter to the void (to act as if it already happened) but they technically haven't in reality yet. that being said, i did have some blogs i mostly trusted and then one day one of the blogs i trusted answered an anonymous ask about a success story and it really looked like they sent it to themselves. the reason i thought this was because the op of the blog spells a commonly used word wrong all the time but it's not a spelling mistake people commonly make (in fact, i know no one who makes this spelling mistake) but then the anon that sent them the success story made the exact same spelling mistake. it made me worry that perhaps there were no true success stories because why was this person who supposedly mastered the void bothering with sending asks to themselves to validate their blog? i mean this was all speculation but it still caused me to think.

that being said again, i still basically believed, i just wavered a little, but i definitely believed enough to keep persisting (because why not?)

the success: finally, after almost 2 months i entered the void through a lucid dream. when i realised i was dreaming i tried to make myself stay super grounded in the dream but i also thought about not taking too long since i didn't want to wake up. i did this because i realised the very first night when i had my lucid dream, i didn't get excited and try immediately, i hung around in my dream for a while and just enjoyed things (as i explained). so i wandered around the dream a bit and just looked at things, touched things, tried to feel the temperature and take note of it and then when i felt calm and not too excited i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and entered. when i got the void i just said "i have everything on my void list" (a few times to make sure) and then stated i was exiting the void state. the void feels how pretty much everyone describes, you just know it's happening and you are pure consciousness.

what i manifested: my void state list ended up being super long and i manifested a lot of personal things that i won't share, which is what i'm sure would be the same for most people, but i'll include a list of things that others might find interesting or encouraging:

desired appearance (including body, face, height etc)

money (i came up with a plan that of how it would make sense in my country to have acquired it)

got rid of my anxiety disorder (having this was probably the most debilitating part of my life, it's also why i know meditation never truly worked for me since i could never relax and it's crazy to feel not severely stressed constantly for the first time in my life)

got rid of my autoimmune disease and fixed my eyesight (i manifested being healthy overall in general)

feel comfortable instantly, i will no longer get too itchy, feel dirty after a long day, be too hot or too cold etc. (can't really attest to this one yet but i have felt no discomfort)

dream living space and whatever bed i sleep in to always be super comfortable

opinion on the void state: overall the point is that the void state is real and you can get anything you want, getting to the void is also easy but it's just about trying to go for it and not getting discouraged. i don't want to share too much of my opinion on this because i actually find it really toxic. some people will get mad if you say you "entered" or "got to" the void because you technically are always the void, and personally, i don't find these slight changes in language to be important unless you are very sensitive to it. for me, it doesn't matter if i think about the void as something i enter or something i am because i believe it exists and that's all i need to know at the end of the day. if you want to see it as something you are, or a state or anything else, i don't think it matters as long as you believe manifestation is possible, you are the creator of your reality, you get to decide what language or thought process works for you :)

common questions: i'm going to answer some question i feel like i will get if people find this post so i'm just going to answer them here. remember that these answers are just my opinion.

question: how come people don't manifest to end world hunger, for everyone to have money, to become the next "big thing", to be a real life superhero, for everyone to be happy etc. truthfully, i think people do manifest that but i don't think they stay in this reality. a lot of people think that using the void at all means you shift your reality, idk if i believe in that, but i would have to assume the people that use the void to manifest very extreme things ultimately have to shift realities. so this would mean the reason you're not seeing these results is because these people are no longer in this reality. if you pay attention i think you will also notice that most void success stories that seem to come from reliable sources (though this is still all personal judgement) seem to be rather humble, these people just manifest to be the prettier version of themselves, to live in a nice place, to be around good people and other similar things. i think people with mostly humble desires stay in this reality and people with more fantastical desires (to be the most famous person ever, to be a multibillionaire, world peace) go elsewhere.

question: why would someone even have humble desires? i can't speak for every single person but i think it's just the desire to stick to the familiar. we want better lives but also want to feel at "home" still, i wanted to still feel like ME. maybe it seems stupid and selfish but if we really are shifting realities every time then there really is no way to actually solve world hunger anyway, it will always exist in this reality even if you or i personally go to another one. at the end of the day, life isn't fair and i am just grateful to have discovered the void to live happily and am sharing this so you can too.

question: i'm worried about the wrong people finding out about the void state. honestly, me too! but i think this falls in line with my past two answers, if someone terrible happened to stumble upon this post and entered the void, i don't think they'd stay here, they will go to some other reality more likely, so i really don't think we have to worry about someone super evil getting to the void and doing something super heinous or whatever. but honestly i do understand the worry. at first when i discovered the void i thought i wouldn't share my success story once i entered because i wanted to keep the void as quiet as possible. but just remember two things: most people do not know about the void and if they do a lot of them will give up and not persist. second, someone really evil finding it will probably leave this reality (my theory).

question: why do people not show better proof. truthfully, i don't know, for me it's because i really do want to live a private life and a lot of stuff i manifested can't be proven anyway. if i show my bank account, it could be photoshop, if i show my new face it means nothing because i revised to always look this way, i can't prove i no longer have my autoimmune disease and the list goes on. i think people with more dramatic proof also want to maintain their privacy or go to other realities. perhaps there's even been people to show dramatic proof in this reality but they had to revise that they didn't because it was a mistake.

question: do you have any overall tips? just keep persisting. and personally, i think it's okay to try several methods at once. i know some people say if you try several then it "cancels out" like, if you try lucid dreaming and it doesn't work so you meditate it means you don't "believe" lucid dreaming can work for you so then that's why it takes you so long but i think you can just tell yourself "every method works for me so i will just keep persisting". another thing i recommend trying for a few days is setting your alarm to go off at different times so day 1 is 8am, day 2 is 7am, day 3 is 9am and so forth. each day set the intention to wake up BEFORE your alarm goes off, once you successfully start waking up a few minutes before your alarm everyday this is your tangible proof that your intentions are working. this isn't really a method but more so a confidence booster that worked for me to remind myself i'm in control and powerful. if you also try this i think after a few days you will feel more confident intending to lucid dream, for your meditations to work, for subliminals to work (whatever is your personal vibe) and you will get there easier hopefully!

question: did you ever do any official lucid dreaming methods. personally the only way i ever had a lucid dream was by intending before sleeping that i would lucid dream. but methods where you wake up by setting your alarm early and going back to sleep and stuff didn't work for me. i tried but due to my anxiety i would always wake up super alert or even stressed, so i could never relax enough. but they are successful for many people so there is no harm in trying.

#void state #void success #void success story #loa #law of assumption

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kimabutch · 4 months

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So I used to have intense cooking anxiety, to the point of frequently crying and/or having panic attacks in the kitchen — and now I love cooking and it rarely stresses me out. In case anyone else is going through that same struggle, a) I’m really sorry, that sucks immensely and don’t let anyone tell you it’s silly and b) here are a few rules I’ve made for myself that have helped me tremendously.

Never cook while hungry. Ever. It makes me sad, tired, and frustrated, which makes me try to go faster than I should, which just makes me more sad, tired, and frustrated. I keep small snacks on hand at all times.

Abandon the oppressive clutches of time. Trying to cook at a “normal” pace was one of the biggest sources of anxiety for me, so I don’t try to do that anymore. The recipe says it’ll take X minutes? Fake number, ignore it. It take a million years to cut a clove of garlic? That’s fine, I’ll get better over time. Other people are hungry? They can have one of my small snacks. Doing two things at once is too stressful? Do them one at a time, fuck efficiency. I’m feeling overwhelmed in the middle of a recipe? Almost all recipes can be completely paused in the middle of cooking by simply taking them off the heat, with very little effect on the final product.

Look up anything and everything. The internet sucks in many ways, but it has also allowed me to search for “skillet” or “scallion” dozens of times when I’ve forgotten, without anyone else knowing. If I’m anxious about making a substitution, I look it up. If I don’t know why something’s taking so long to cook, I look it up. There’s no shame in it.

My kitchen, my rules. And when I’m cooking in a kitchen, it temporarily becomes my kitchen. I kick people out if I need to. I put on my music or stay in blissful silence. I know not everyone can do this one, but even something like putting on noise-cancelling headphones and asking people not to talk to me as I cook has been helpful in decreasing my stress when sharing a kitchen.

Repeat recipes. Making something I already know I can make is so much less anxiety-inducing than making something new. It lets me actually practice the techniques they use and eventually, to tweak the recipe (something that used to make me super anxious), and eventually go faster or be more efficient. Anyone who doesn’t want to eat vegetable fried rice once a week for a whole month doesn’t need to eat my cooking.

Hope that helps someone and good luck out there!

#my stuff #misc #maybe I'm wrong but I'm convinced this is almost as prevalent as phone anxiety #from the number of people I've met who also struggle with it

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xiaq · 4 months

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Hi, I have a bit of a personal question, so if you don’t want to answer this, I completely understand!! no hard feelings at all! long story short, I’m demisexual, and I just entered my first real relationship. My girlfriend lights me up inside in a way I’ve never experienced before, but being demi I have no sexual or romantic experience and I’m a little stressed about First Times. Do you have any tips on how to relax? Or at least how to be comfortable with that unfamiliar territory? Your little tidbits about your relationship with B really opened my eyes to my own situation, so I thought I’d maybe see if you had any tips for me. Thanks in advance!!

First: Congratulations! That's super exciting!

Second:

Talk 👏 to 👏 her👏 (!!!)

My partner and I talked A LOT before even the slightest hanky-ing of panky-ing occurred. (In fact, our first conversation about it consisted of me telling him I likely would not enjoy sex and wasn't willing to submit myself to things I did not enjoy anymore and him being like, "ok, no sex, then." Which gave me the time and inclination to feel things out further.) So, when I got to a place where I was like, "ok, conceptually, I do actually like the idea of physical intimacy with you, I'm just not sure I'll enjoy it in practice," we kept talking! I told him things I thought he should know about the past experiences I'd had that might color things we did. I told him about how anxious I was because this mattered in a way that was new and scary (because I was in real actual love and, as you might imagine, not handling it well). I let him ask questions and we made a plan to try things slowly in a low-stress, no-expectations kind of way. It was super valuable A. in making me feel like we were approaching an unfamiliar territory together rather than me entering it by myself and B. it apparently eased a lot of my partner's concern that he'd do something to hurt or scare me when he knew what was off-limits, what was ok, and what we'd need to figure out.

I'll be real with you. Our "first time" sucked. I was a nervous wreck. He called things only shortly after they'd started and was like, nope, time to cuddle and watch a movie instead. And the fact that we'd talked about this probably happening, and him confirming the initial promises he'd made that he wouldn't push me, and he wouldn't get mad if nothing sexual actually happened--that made me a lot less nervous during the next attempt. And each time was an improvement until things were, you know, better than I ever could have imagined. Fireworks. Rainbows. The whole 9 yards. It just took a lot of talking to get there.

Also, people seem to think that talking about sex-- test results, dislikes, preferences––is somehow not sexy. But I found it to be the opposite. 1. I love planning things. So knowing what "the plan" is ahead of time is very nice. 2. Talking about an action before trying it out can be... titillating. Let's say.

Anyway. Communicate! If she's as awesome as she sounds, she'll be honored and pleased to tackle the situation with you rather than being a part of the thing that's giving you anxiety.

#answered asks #cw sex #love #demisexual #mylife

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lucy90712 · 9 months

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Can you do a pedri x gf!reader imagine where she’s with him during all of The Residency shoot & sees that the girl social media worker has been getting a little too close for comfort. Gf tries to stay calm the whole time until she finally snaps & then she thinks pedri is gonna be upset at her but he’s actually really turned on by the fact that she’s territorial of him

A/n: I changed it up a bit as I don’t usually write stuff like this so I hope it’s ok

WC: 2.1k

Yesterday afternoon Pedri asked me to go with him to his shoot with the residency today because he gets a bit awkward when on camera so he wanted me to be there so there was a familiar face in the room. Of course I agreed to go as I always love spending time with him and I think it's sweet that he wants me there but I'm definitely a little bit nervous too. I have always been really anxious about meeting new people so to be in a room full of them is a bit nerve wracking for me but I am going to be there for Pedri and I'm sure everything will be fine.

This morning Pedri had training which he brought me to as well because we had to go to the shoot right after. I haven't been to one of his training sessions in a long time so it was nice to see the whole team as I get on with them all really well. Getting to talk to the guys before we had to leave relaxed me as I remembered meeting them all and being so nervous but I survived and now we are all good friends so I will be fine with meeting the crew for the shoot. They all knew where we were going so they told us to have fun and Robert told me to make sure I enjoy myself as he knows how anxious I get. Pablo also sent me a smile which didn't need any words with it as I knew what he was trying to say.

On the drive Pedri kept me talking about anything other than the shoot and he held my hand tightly to keep me distracted which he is very good at. Once we arrived the crew all came outside to greet us and Pedri got out the car first to say hi before opening my door for me and introducing me to everyone. My anxiety faded quite quickly as everyone was so lovely and they were more interested in Pedri which meant I was able to just blend into the background and take some time to calm down. We all went inside and Pedri got his hair done while someone else explained everything they would be doing which started off with a live stream and then they wanted him to film some TikToks which I just know Pedri will hate.

"Amor do you want to be on camera?" Pedri asked

Our relationship is semi public so people know we are together but we don't often post with each other only on special occasions. Most pictures of us together are taken by other people as I don't like to put myself out there too much as I only ever get hate anyway. So being part of a live stream isn't really up my alley but I don't mind if I'm seen in the background.

"I would prefer to not be but I don't mind being seen in the background" I said

"Thats ok we can keep you out of shot" one of the men there said

"Thank you" I said

Once Pedri was ready they got everything up and started the live stream so I sat out of the shot but somewhere were I could still see what was going on. Things started off simply as they got Pedri to play some fifa which he does a lot at home so that made him more relaxed and I could tell he was starting to really enjoy himself. Whenever he scored he looked over in my direction to see my reaction like he does when we are at home so I gave him a big smile which he returned. After the game they made him do karaoke which even I've never seen before as he refuses every time we go out, it was so hard not to laugh at him but I held back my laughter as not to disrupt anything.

The next thing on the list was a Q&A but most of the questions were things I've heard him answer a million times so I kind of lost focus and started paying attention to other things. As I was doing so I noticed the girl that's part of the team getting rather close to Pedri. I'm used to seeing things like this as fans quite often get close to Pedri or other girls when we go out places but they never go too far so it doesn't really bother me. This girl however was already getting on my nerves as she was constantly staring at him like not taking her eyes off of him. She was also sat really close to Pedri and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable with her so close but she didn't take the hint, if anything she got closer to him.

Now that I've noticed it I have found myself constantly looking and getting more annoyed by the second. The girl then touched his hand which he instantly moved out the way but I could feel the jealousy and anger coursing through my veins. I'm not one for confrontation in fact I would usually do anything to avoid it but this girl was really getting on my nerves. She was touching my man right in front of my face without a care in the world which is driving me insane. I know Pedri would never even entertain this on any normal day but today he can't do anything without looking like an asshole in front of thousands of fans on the livestream which is so unfair as this girl is definitely taking advantage of that. If it were possible there would definitely be steam coming out of my ears but it's not so instead I can feel my cheeks heating up in anger.

Eventually after what felt like hours of torture the livestream ended and Pedri was finally able to escape that girl and come over to where I was sat. He sat next to me and put his arm loosely around my waist which made me feel a whole lot better. As much as I hate what this girl is doing Pedri has done nothing wrong and I need to remember that he loves me not this other girl. Having him by my side made me feel so much better as all of his attention was on me and not on that other girl and he was telling me how he is actually willing to do karaoke with me now. We were having a good time and he was just about to kiss me when the girl came over and rudely interrupted by telling Pedri that they had to get back to filming now. He whispered that he was sorry and the look in his eyes told me that he felt bad but it didn't stop the anger building up in me again.

She dragged him away from me and outside so I had to follow behind and find somewhere to sit but everywhere I went to sit she made someone move to get in my way. In the end I gave up and just sat on my phone but I made sure to keep an eye on what was going on as I'm no fool so I'm not taking my eyes off that girl. Having my eyes on her made absolutely no difference as she was getting more and more touchy by the second. Instead of just asking Pedri to move to where he was needed she put her hands on his chest and I swear I saw her drag her hand down his abs but that could just be the jealousy taking over.

The longer I was sat there watching the more I felt like I had to do something. My last boyfriend cheated on me because I was too soft and I just let him go out with all these girls because I trusted him but I'm not going to let that happen again. I trust Pedri I really do but I'm not going let some girl take advantage of that he's my boyfriend and she needs to be respectful of that and leave him alone. As they were filming I was thinking about all the outrageous things I could do to put this girl in her place most of which were absolutely crazy and would probably get me arrested and definitely ruin Pedri's reputation but then I thought of a great idea that wasn't too much but got my message across.

As if the world was reading my mind they stopped filming to take a quick break, I didn't need telling twice so I put my plan into action. I got myself up and wandered over to Pedri with a level of sass I don't think I've ever reached before in my life but it felt great. I walked straight over to Pedri and put my hand on his chest as I stood in front of him which took him by surprise as I don't think I've ever acted like this in my life let alone around him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the girl was staring at the both of us so I put the rest of my plan into action and got on my toes to kiss Pedri. He was still in shock so I was able to kiss him more passionately which helped me release some of the anger I was feeling and it was definitely annoying the girl which is a huge bonus.

After I pulled away Pedri smiled at me and pressed another kiss to my lips before the girl said they were going to start filming again so I walked away and went back to my position on the outside chair. As I sat down my rush of adrenaline dissipated and along with it went all the extra confidence I had just gathered leaving me feeling awful about what I just did. I'm really not one to do something like that and I'm not really sure why I did it, I mean it's not like Pedri was paying any attention to this girl and we won't ever see her again so it doesn't matter if she was touchy or not. Guilt flowed through my body as I realised that in the heat of the moment I made a stupid decision that probably doesn't paint me in the best light if someone were to tell the story without my side. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and I can't believe I let myself get carried away with it Pedri probably thinks I'm some psycho now as he's never seen me act in such a way in the whole time we've known each other.

For the rest of the shoot I just sat quietly letting my thoughts take over so when it was finally time for us to leave I politely thanked all the crew and said goodbye before getting out of there as quickly as humanly possible. I was silent on the drive home too as I was still feeling bad about overreacting like that and trying to think of what I could say to Pedri to apologise for embarrassing him in front of a brand he works with. When we arrived home I went straight inside to start making dinner as I feel like I need to do something nice for Pedri to help him forgive me for acting like a crazy woman.

"Amor is everything ok?" Pedri asked

"Yeah everything's fine" I replied bluntly

"Come on I know somethings up you were so quiet on the drive home, if it's that girl I promise I would've done more to push her away if I could but I only love you you know that right" he said

"It's not that I feel awful for acting the way I did" I admitted

"What do you mean?" He asked

"The way I kissed you just to get her to back off I shouldn't have done that because it just makes you look bad but I just got so carried away with my jealousy that I couldn't stop myself I'm sorry" I said

"There's no need to be sorry baby you didn't do anything wrong you just kissed me which you're allowed to do plus I thought it was hot the way you wanted to show her I'm yours" he said

"Really you didn't think it was too much" I questioned

"No I loved it you're so hot when you get jealous plus that kiss was amazing 10/10 I might have to make you jealous again so you'll kiss me like that" he joked

"Please don't do that I can kiss you like that without being jealous" I said

"Well go on then" he smirked

#pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri imagines #pedri imagine #pedri #pedri gonzalez imagines #pedri x reader

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fivestar-outlaw · 6 months

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New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Epilogue)

Epilogue

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader

Words: 7.0k+

Warning(s): Mentions of reader being anxious/having anxiety, some swears, drinking, i think thats it.

SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (F receiving)/ face sitting, slight cockwarming, birthcontrol used, No condom use, PiV penetration, cowgirl yeehaw

A/N: Fucking- Finally finished the epilog. Grad school is slowly but surely killing me rn. I only had time to write this during the undergrad class im taking for credits iubgouoren. I hope yall enjoy.

Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST

English dialogue is italicized, Korean dialogue is not

Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.

Series Masterlist | Navigation

You sat at your desk, phone set up for a video call with Seonghwa. You felt nervous. Tomorrow is your graduation, where you'll finally be done with this aspect of your life and will be moving onto the next step. Despite the distance, you and Seonghwa were as close as ever. You both missed each other dearly but talked as frequently as possible.

You were a little sad that he and the rest of Ateez couldn't make it to your graduation, but you understood why. You didn't have much hope when you told Hongjoong the date and he told you he'd ask if they could. You tried to tell him not to ask since you knew they would be busy with an upcoming comeback, but he insisted he'd try. He talked to you the next night saying they had a packed schedule for that week and couldn't. You figured as much but it still made you a little sad.

You hear the tone for the video call and you quickly answer it with a smile. You see Hwa sitting there, but not in his room. You couldn't quite figure out where he was. He seemed to be wearing a loose sweater and a pair of glasses frames.

"Hello, jagiya." Seonghwa smiled sweetly, he seemed tired.

"Hello, love." You respond. "How are you? You seem a little tired."

"The week has been busy."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Are you currently at a schedule?" You tilt your head. You see him look off to the side. You can see that he seems to be hiding something, but you figure it was because he couldn't talk about anything specific related to any of the filmed comeback videos.

"Yeah, we are staying at a hotel. We are going to start filming soon." He sighs. "It was a last minute decision since filming took longer than expected yesterday. I wish I could tell you everything that went wrong but I can't."

"I'm sure it'll go better today, love."

"Thank you, jagiya. But enough about me, jagiya, how are you? Are you excited for tomorrow?"

"A mix of excited and nervous. Excited to have my degree... nervous for whatever comes next. Nervous about walking across that stage to get that empty diploma case and not having a solid next thing waiting for me." You press your lips together and glance over to your cap and gown hanging in your open closet. The whole ordeal almost seems daunting now. "I've applied for jobs in my field but I haven't heard anything back... I doubt any will get back to me when I am fresh out of university."

"I wish I was there with you, (Y/N)." He looked into the camera with a concerned expression. "You'll exceed at whatever you do. I know you will. You are smart and very determined."

"It's probably just all the nerves." You chuckle weakly.

"Just know myself and the others are cheering for you, even if we can't be there. Which, we are still sorry for by the way."

"Don't worry about it. I'll have my family film my walk across the stage and we will take lots of pictures to send to you all."

"We look forward to it." He smiles. You hear a door opening and what you believe to be Hongjoong's voice. You couldn't make out what he said but you saw Seonghwa nod before hearing the door close. "Sorry, (Y/N), I have to go. We need to get ready for filming today."

"Don't apologize, love. You got this. I'm sure you will do great." You smile and you can just tell some of the stress he was feeling dissipate.

"I love you, jagiya." He says softly.

"I love you too." There is some hesitancy to hang up but you bit the bullet and pressed the little red button on the call. You sigh, but feel lighter. It was like talking to Hwa helped calm your worries.

---

You stood with your family for a moment before you needed to join the rest of the graduating students. You stood with them in your cap and gown and a nice outfit underneath. You couldn't help but wring your hands together. You weren't necessarily nervous, but you did feel a little anxious from the excitement now. You felt you childhood best friend place their hand on your shoulder and they give you a calm smile.

"It's going to be fine, (Y/N)." They gently squeezed your shoulder. "I doubt you'll trip, so don't worry."

"Well I wasn't worried about tripping until now." You groan. "I'm not nervous. I just... can't stay still."

"Oh (Y/N), it's okay to be nervous." Your mother coos, rubbing small circles into your upper back. "Just think about the surprise we have planned for you."

"Surprise?"

"Hun, you weren't suppose to mention that." Your father chuckles.

"I thought I told you all I needed was just a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant." You say softly. "I hope you didn't spend too much-"

"Don't worry about it. We wanted to get you something for such a big day." Your father grinned. You were going to argue back but heard the call for graduating students to start getting in place for the ceremony.

"Make sure to film my walk please!" You said and they nodded. Your family and your best friend gives you one last hug before you go to where you were supposed to, while they went off to grab seats.

You take a deep breath as you find your spot in line with the rest of your majors getting the same degree level as you and your roommate, who also was graduating alongside you. You smiled at some of your classmates you were friendly with and chatted with them. You were given a slip of paper with your name on it by one of your professors and you were left to wait for the ceremony to start.

You felt your phone buzz under your gown. You were glad you picked something to wear underneath with pockets. You manage to get your phone out and you smile. All of Ateez were wishing you well and saying their congrats. San even sent a selfie of them all together, which they said was taken after they finished filming. You were glad they messaged you and made sure to tell them to get some rest since it was around 6am for them.

The line you were in started moving so you quickly put your phone away and started walking with your line. You can hear lots of chatter from other graduating students and could hear the chatter from people in the stands. You and the others stood still until you heard one of the deans call you guys to enter. You hear the crowd cheer as the graduating class enters the area. You tried to pinpoint your family and your best friend but had no luck finding them in the sea of people. You take your seat and wait for the rest of the graduate students to also take their seats as the stereotypical graduation march song plays.

The song ended when everyone was finished sitting down. Next were speeches by the college president, a provosts, and a dean whom you never personally interacted with, and then two professors spoke; one is the chair of your major which made you smile. Next were student speeches, neither person you recognized.

You gulp, watching as the rows ahead of you go up one by one as they were instructed by a professor to do so. There was the constant noise of clapping with each name, followed by a few people loudly cheering for whoever just got called. You clapped along as well, watching each person receive their diploma case from the college president and walk to the side to get their picture taken professionally.

Next thing you knew the people in your row started to stand. You quickly got to your feet and follow along to the stage. You wait, taking small steps as person by person hands over their name slip and walk the stage. You were getting closer and closer to the speakers stand.

Then, it's your turn.

You made conscious steps to the speaker, not wanting to trip. You hand them your name card and wait as the person ahead finished crossing the stage. The speaker smiled and read your name into the microphone. You start walking across stage to the president as the crowd clapped.

You hear loud cheers coming from the stand on the other side of the stage, more than what you were expecting from the three people there seeing you graduate. You finally see your parents and your best friend up on their feet, your dad and friend shouting loudly. But in the row in front of them, you see eight figures also on their feet shouting as loud as they can. Immediately you can tell it is Ateez. Even with face masks, different hats, and inconspicuous clothes, you could tell they were your boys. Plus, you can easily tell Wooyoung and Mingi's voices as they were the loudest and most distinct.

A large smile broke out on your face as you kept your tears at bay. You walked the stage with your head held high. You shook hands with the college president and took hold of the diploma case. You walked to the end of the stage and carefully took the steps down. You got your picture taken and you started walking back to your seat.

You look up at the stand when you heard your name shouted repeatedly by Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. Each member of Ateez waved as you walked by and you made sure to wave back. You felt pure happiness in the moment.

---

When the ceremony ended and all the graduates exited the way they walked in, you immediately started making your way outside. Your parents texted saying they were waiting for you by the large oak tree. You weave your way through the sea of students and their families as fast as you could. You could see the top of the tree but you knew the trunk was still some distance away from where the ceremony was held.

You finally breach the crowd and see your parents, your best friend, and Ateez, along with their manager. They spotted you and called your name. You immediately quickened your pace.

Wooyoung held out his arms for a hug but you passed him and immediately clung to Seonghwa. The tears you held back immediately fell as you hugged him.

"Y-You're here! I can't believe you're here! Hongjoong said you guys were busy. You said you-" You rapidly spoke.

"Slow down, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles. He held you tightly and rubbed your back.

"Sorry, my love." You sniffle and look to his face. Despite the black mask covering his nose down to his jaw, you can tell he has a big grin on his face. He moves a step back from you, resting his hands on your jaw. The pads of his thumbs swipe away your tears gently. "I'm so happy to see you in person again."

"I'm happy too." He carefully guided you to turn around so he could move back in front of you, his back to the crowd. He pulls down his mask and leans in, his soft lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You couldn't help but smile against his lips as it felt like world around each of you melted away. You both slowly pulled away but kept your faces close. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you, (Y/N)." He whispers and kisses each cheek, making you giggled.

"Congratulations, (Y/N)!" Wooyoung broke the moment of peace between you both as he pulled you into a big hug. You tilt your head back and laugh, all while there rest of Ateez swarmed you for their own hugs. Your face ached from how much you were smiling.

"Seonghwa contacted us a week after you had us do that video call with him." Your mother started to explain. You remember that day well, feeling nervous for your parents to meet your long distance, idol boyfriend. But they immediately loved him and exchanged contact information; mostly just in case you got in an emergency so they could inform him. Subsequently, of course, your parents met the rest of Ateez. "They wanted to surprise you and here they are."

"Sorry I lied to you, (Y/N)." Hongjoong laughed, his smile telling you he was anything but apologetic. "Yuhno suggested the idea of it being a surprise when I ran into him before I talked it over with our company. So really, blame him."

"Hey, you could of said no, Joong-hyung." Yuhno playfully glared then set his sights on Seonghwa. "Didn't you initiate the call with her parents?"

"Yes, but Sannie and Woo also sat in on the call too." Seonghwa shot back. The group delved into a big, non-serious argument of who is to blame for the lies. You shook your head with a chuckle and went to your parents.

"Thank you for arranging this." You hug them both tightly.

"Of course, (Y/N). We could see how happy you were when we met him and how yourself you were with the rest of the group, so we knew we had to put this together for you somehow." Your father had a big smile on his face, you could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, my child is all grown up..."

"I've been grown up, dad. Don't cry, you're going to make me cry again." You chuckle, feeling that sting of tears again in your eyes. You feel arms wrap around you from behind and you knew immediately it is Seonghwa. "Did you guys settle who's fault it is, love?"

"No, but it seems everyone puts the blame back on Hongjoong." He laughs. He smiles at your parents and gives them a polite bow of his head. The rest of Ateez joined back up with your parents and your best friend. They started discussing dinner plans, you jumping in when needed for translation help.

Your smile doesn't leave your face as you lean back into Seonghwa. You could have just cheap take out with everyone and you'd be happy.

---

You said goodbye to your parents and best friend when everyone arrived back at your apartment after dinner. They wanted to let you have some time alone with Ateez. Your parents managed to reserve a private space at a great restaurant ran by a friend of your mother's. The manager went to buy snacks and drinks for the rest of you guys for tonight at a near by convenience store.

"Wow you have a nice place, (Y/N)." Yeosang compliments as he looks at the various decorations and how you and your roommate placed the minimal furniture.

"Thanks, it was a collaborative effort with my roomie. Which, be as loud as you guys want. She won't be in for a few nights since she'll be staying with her family." You smile and turn go to put leftovers from dinner in the fridge, missing the way everyone looked towards Seonghwa. "How long are you here for?"

"Just the rest of tonight. We fly back early in the morning tomorrow. We may have pulled this off but we still have busy schedules coming up." Jongho answers.

"Sorry we can't stay longer." San sighs with an apologetic smile.

"No worries, I'm happy you guys made it for today." You grin and move to sit next to Hwa on the couch, immediately leaning against him. "So I take it you guys flew in last night? Is that why you were actually in a hotel, love?"

He chuckles and nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm. "I'm glad we got to witness this."

"Of course, I'd do the same for you guys."

"Well, if you would..." Mingi smiles as he walks in front of you, holding out several small pieces of paper for you. You gingerly take them, and look at everyone with confusion and curiosity as they surrounded the couch. Wooyoung took his spot next to you and rested his chin on your shoulder, aka, on Seonghwa's hand.

"Oh my God." You gasp as you look at each paper. They chuckled at your shock. There were several plane tickets; one to South Korea, a round trip ticket to Japan and then back to Korea, and then one back home. The next paper was a pass for the waterbomb festival coming up.

"We will email you the actual virtual tickets soon." Wooyoung said with a big grin.

"A graduation present from us and our manager." Seonghwa kissed your temple.

"This had to be so expensive..."

"Don't worry about it at all. We didn't have to pay for the waterbomb ticket and we all chipped in for the flights." Yuhno said softly from behind the couch. You felt his hand pat the top of your head a few times. There was a knock at the door and the tallest went to open the door for their manager, who came in with two, black plastic bags and one backpack. You quickly got up to your feet and approached him with a smile.

"Thank you for all you have done."

"I should thank you for helping me keep them in line." He chuckles and hands you the plastic bags. He walks over to the couch and sets the backpack at Seonghwa's feet. "Remember, we have a flight back to Korea tomorrow. Don't drink too much. (Y/N), drink all you want."

Some time passed and everyone was lounging around in the living room of your apartment. Mingi, San, and Wooyoung took over the couch. Jongho, Yuhno, Yeosang, and their manager sat in chairs from the small kitchen table. You, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong were sitting on the floor, all while everyone watched a trashy, American reality show. You were sitting between Hwa's legs with your back against his chest while he rested against San's legs.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You fish it out and unlock it, seeing it was an email notification. You tapped the notification, though you didn't read what it was for, figuring it was a promotional thing or something. You looked up at the tv screen for a moment before taking a moment to read over the contents of the email.

Your eyes slowly widened with each line you read. You felt your heart flutter as you sit up straight. You felt Seonghwa's hands on your hips and he had a curious look on his face.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" He asks softly, trying not to draw everyones attention. He leans forward and you can feel his chest on your back again, his chin on your shoulder. You raise your phone screen up so he can have an easier time reading the email. You turn your head just enough to see his expression turn to one of shock. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight as a big smile broke out on his face. "Does... Does this mean...?"

"What's happening?" Sannie asked from the couch. He leaned forward as well and you pass him your phone. You can practically feel the excitement oozing from Seonghwa. San suddenly stood up, knocking into the eldest's back. He had a huge grin, his dimple prominent on his face.

Wooyoung snatched your phone from San and you watched as his eyes scan over the screen. He then looks up at you with a big smile. "No way!"

"Care to share with the rest of us?" Mingi asked while Yeosang muted the channel.

"Well-" San started to speak but then clasps his own hand over his mouth for a moment. He hands you back your phone and sits back down. He eagerly gestures for you to speak. You feel Hwa's hands gently squeeze your hips.

"A job I applied for contacted me and told me they were looking for fresh faces and say they see potential with my resume, my CV, and from my letters of recommendation." You beamed and everyone looked excited for you. A sea of congratulations soon followed. You kept your beaming expression and you see Hongjoong look at you.

"There is more, isn't there?" He asked, a smile growing on his face.

"The job is located in Seoul. And they are allowing me to start towards the end of the year to give me time to get my legal documents situated and to move."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, your apartment became chaos with pure excitement. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San already pledged themselves to help you find a place in your upcoming visit. Mingi and Yuhno express excitement for the prospect of staying over at your new place. Yeosang, Jongho, and Hongjoong already start to make plans for when you start living there. Everyone decides to have one more drink to celebrate, their manager unable to say no to such an occasion.

---

You give each member a hug as they are about to leave for the night, saying your goodbyes. You move to hug Seonghwa but he sidesteps you and moves to stand behind you. You give him a confused look while the others chuckle.

"I'm staying with you tonight, jagiya." He pecked your cheek. The others say goodnight, their manager telling him to be read by 7am, and they all quickly leave. Now, it's just you and Seonghwa.

"That's why he brought a backpack for you." You laugh and turn to face him. You place your hands on the back of his neck and raise a brow. "You've been nothing but surprises today. I really do appreciate it."

"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you." He smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss you. Unlike the other kisses you two shared today, this one was longer and more passionate. You can feel his lips move against yours as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. You smile against the kiss. Before you could part your lips, he pulls away with a flirtatious look.

"I love you, love." He smiles at your words. He lifts his hand up and gently traces his fingers down the side of your face, sending shivers down your spine. His arms wrap around your body and he keeps you pressed against him.

"I love you too, jagiya." He brings you into another intense kiss, his tongue invading your mouth this time. You feel his fingers curl in against your back, all while your hands find themselves in his hair. He breaks the kiss once more but rests his forehead against yours. "Would you like to celebrate a little more? We don't have to go further than this-"

"I would love to." You grin. You move from Seonghwa's grasp and take his hand, pulling him to your bedroom.

The second you closed the door, Hwa is already guiding you to your bed. He lays you down on your back while he crawls over you, his lips pressed against yours. His hands grip your hips before he starts to slide them under your shirt. He shifts his leg, placing it between your thighs. His knee is just barely brushes against your core. His hands start to gently kneed your breasts over your bra.

Seonghwa starts to trail tender kisses down from your mouth to your neck. You smile at the affection and you place a kiss of your own on the top of his head. He smirked against your neck as he gently bites your skin. You feel him shift his leg that was between your legs, applying a small amount of pressure against your cunt. You let out a soft noise from the sensation and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.

You move one your hands down to the growing bulge in his pants. Seonghwa chuckled and sat up, taking your hand off him.

"Tonight is all about you, jagiya." He smiled softly. He took hold of both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head. "Let me worship you."

You felt a pleasant shiver down your spine again and you nod. Hwa let go of your hands and began kissing your neck again. This time his kisses and bites to your neck were more intense. You knew for sure you would have a couple of marks there. He released his hold on your wrists but you kept your arms about head. Your body is completely at his mercy and that had you excited.

You felt him press his leg against your aching core again and this time you rolled your hips to seek pleasure, causing yourself to moan.

"Good, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles as he moves his face by your ear. You feel his lips brush against your ear before he gently nips it. He sat up and helped you up as well.

He hums softly, tracing his nose along your face before he kisses you again. He gently nibbles your bottom lip and stares deeply into your eyes. Hwa licks his lips as he leans down and scans your body with his eyes. You feel his hand take hold of your shirt and slowly lift it up and off your body. His fingers nimbly unclasps your bra and he tosses it off your body.

Seonghwa's hands caress and gently squeeze your breasts, the pads of his thumbs were on your nipples as he rubbed small circles with them. He hummed with a smile. "I missed these."

You chuckle softly. "You missed my boobs?"

"Yes." He moves himself so his face his close to them. "I missed all off you, (Y/N). I missed your face, your touch, your taste... I missed seeing your smile in person, I missed hearing your laugh right beside me. I miss you."

"I miss you too Hwa." You give his cheek a tender peck. You bite your bottom lip as his hands still kneaded your breasts and his thumbs applied some pressure. "Luckily I got that job. I'll be a lot closer to you by next year."

"Still feels so far away." He whispers and starts kissing your chest. He bites the skin and sucks, doing this until he reached your nipples. His mouth encompasses the pebbled skin. You bring one of your hands up to his head and combed your fingers through his hair. He sucks and gently nibbles, his tongue rolling over your perked bud. He does this to both nipples for a few moments before pulling away, a line of saliva briefly hangs between his lips and your skin. "I want to try something, jagiya."

"What do you want to try, love?"

"Would you want to sit on my face and let me pleasure you?" His question makes your face flush with heat.

"You'd want to do that? Are-Are you sure you want me to sit on your face?" You can feel yourself getting more wet by the second.

"Of course." He smiles sweetly. He sits up straight so he can meet your eyes easily, his hands slide down and gently hold onto your hips. "Like I said, jagiya, I missed your taste and I think you will look breathtaking doing so... Do you want to try this out with me?"

"Then... I would like to." You bite your bottom lip and smile. His face broke out in a grin and he helped you off your lap. He moves to lay down as you slip off your pants and underwear. You move yourself up the bed near his head and carefully placed your leg on the other side of his head. His hands slid up from behind your thighs and your ass to hold your hips. You hovered over his face, looking down at him between your legs. You were a bit hesitant to lower yourself down though. "Are you sure-"

You didn't even get to finish your question when you felt Seonghwa pull you down to his mouth. Immediately his tongue went to work against you clit. You moan, one hand bracing yourself against the wall while you bury the fingers of the other in his dark hair. A vibrator certainly worked wonders, but there is something else about his tongue. He moved his up and down against your clit before moving it in circles clockwise.

"Hwa..." You say, almost sounding breathless. He simply hums and continues his ministrations with his tongue. He nuzzles his faces against your cunt and adjust his mouth so he could lap you up. Seonghwa's tongue briefly pushes against your clit and then you feel his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, gently sucking on it. Instinctively you bite your lip to hold back your moan, making him lightly slap your ass, not enough to hurt but to get a point across. He lifts you just enough to free his mouth so he could speak.

"You said your roommate is gone for the night?" He asks and you give him a quick 'yes.' You felt his lips curl into a smile. "Then don't hold back, jagiya. It's just us."

You feel his tongue move against you again in all the right ways, making you moan again. You didn't hold it back this time and you could tell Hwa is pleased with that. He shifted underneath you and he buries his face into your cunt, he continued to gently suck and swirl his tongue around your clit. His ministrations had you squirming, slowly rocking your hips against him, and you were making all sorts of noises.

"Seonghwa..." You whimper. You speaking his name in such a manner had him groan in pleasure. You feel him shift yet again, his grip on your hips firm. His tongue is off your clit and you feel his tongue swirl around your entrance. He penetrates you and thrusts with his tongue while his nose brushed against your swollen bud. His mouth is working wonders on your and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. Hwa doesn't relent, keeping the pleasure going and keeping you relatively still with his hands holding onto your hips. "Fuck... Hwa I'm-!"

Your walls fluttered around his tongue. You feel your thigh muscles tighten and they press against his head. A loud noise of pleasure leaves your lips as you throw your head back. Hwa squeezes and lightly massages your hips as you climax, his tongue slowly slides out from your hole and gently licks your cunt. He waits a few moments before gently guiding you off his face. You lift a leg and sit next to his head, your back against your headboard.

Seonghwa quickly got up, licking his lips clean of your juices though his chin and nose still shined with your climax. He sits next to you and his hands caress your legs. He smiles at you, a look of satisfaction on his face, while you came down from your orgasm.

"You have a little something on your face." You giggle and gesture around your own chin and nose. He chuckles and you watch as he swipes his fingers over his skin and then lick them clean.

"Better?" He whispers with a slight smirk. You can tell he was trying to be sexy but he still had some of your cum on him. You giggle softly making him blush and chuckle.

"Here, hold on for a moment." You get up from the bed and head out of your room to your bathroom. You grabbed a clean wash cloth, dampened it with some water, and returned to your bedroom. You hand Seonghwa the cloth and he gives you an appreciative smile, his cheeks and ears dusted with a subtle pink. You sit back down as he cleans off his face. He sets the cloth on your nightstand and looks back at you.

You watch as Seonghwa gets off the bed. His eyes scan your body with a smirk. Slowly, he took off his shirt and slid off his pants and boxers. Both of you were completely nude and you can see just how turned on he is. Hwa gets back onto your bed and gets right up to you, his face mere inches from yours.

"I love you so much, (Y/N)." He whispers. His hand comes up and gently caresses your jaw and neck.

"I love you too, Seonghwa." You smile at him, your tone soft and full of love. He smiles back and presses his lips against yours. His kiss is tender this time around. His hand cradles the back of your head to keep you in place, but you know you don't want to pull away in this moment. Your fingers graze the skin of his bare chest. You slowly brought them up to his collarbones and then his neck.

"Hmm, I want to take this all the way, jagiya." He pauses for a moment as his eyes look down at your body and then back at your face. He smirks. "I want to hear all those lovely noises you make."

"If I get to ride you, my love." You say in a sensual tone. His smirk crumbles to a flustered look at your suggestion, but he still smiles regardless.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes." You nod and he bites his bottom lip. Seonghwa moves and sits down, his back against the headboard now. You grin, moving to stand on your legs before you throw your leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands are once again on your hips as he pulls your body against his. He has a lustful and excited smile on his face.

"Condoms? I brought some-"

"No, it's fine. I trust you and I'm still taking birth control." You smile.

You reach behind and grab the shaft of Seonghwa's cock. You carefully drag his tip through your wet folds to tease him a little. You line him up to your entrance and look at his face. He gives a small nod for you to continue and you do so. You slowly lower yourself down, languidly taking him inside you. You both let out a soft moans. You sat in his lap, your hands grip his shoulders, while his cock fully inside you and you take a moment to savor the feeling.

"Ah, you feel so good, jagiya." Seonghwa mumbles, his lips barely brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath but you didn't care. His eyes were half-closed as he stared deeply into yours. You can feel his hands caressing your hips, thighs, and ass. His length twitches inside and you can tell he is full of anticipation for you to start moving. Hwa gives you a sweet smile, which contrasts with the current, steamy situation. "Take your time. You have control right now until you want me to take over."

"Thank you, love." You whisper softy and peck his lips. You wait a full two minutes before you started moving. You take a slow and steady pace, your thigh muscles flexing as you raise yourself up and down on his cock. Seonghwa's hands firmly held your hips yet he made no effort to control your movements, he simply assisted you so you wouldn't be doing all the work.

"This feels nice." Hwa murmurs and leans his head down, his lips pressing against your neck. You feel his teeth graze your skin and he gently nips at your neck.

"Feels s'good." You moan softly. You rock your hips at a pleasurable pace. It is a very sensual moment between you both. It was just you and him, nothing else mattered. He raised his head from your neck and pressed his forehead against yours. He looked at you with pure adoration and love. His hands slide to your lower back and then moved up to your shoulder blades. You feel his arms against your sides as he hugged you close to his chest. You still moved your hips at a slow pace.

This is a moment of passion and pleasure, but also a moment of love and bliss.

You sunk all the way down on him and gently grind your hips against him, feeling pleasure come from your clit grazing his pubic mound. Seonghwa smiles at you, enjoying how you look getting yourself off on him. He kiss your cheek and his lips linger to you skin for a few moments. You feel his fingertips press into your back and rub small circles on your skin.

You returned to moving yourself up and down on his cock. You increased your speed, sometimes focusing on his tip and then rotating to taking him all the way. Regardless of what you did, he was moaning and groaning at all your movements. His hands were back on your hips as you leaned away from him with your hands gripping his shoulders. You both wanted to see your faces.

You feel a coil-like sensation in your lower stomach as pleasure builds up again. Your breathing is harsh and deep, and you can feel your legs getting tired... but you wanted to keep going. Seonghwa could see and feel how you your stamina is waning. He smiles sweetly and leans forward to capture your lips in a passionate yet short kiss.

"Relax, jagiya." His voice is smooth and low. He holds your hips and stops your movements. Seonghwa then starts to thrust his hips up at a quick pace. A loud moan escapes your lips as you cling on to him. He leaned forward and nibbles on your neck while you feel one of his hands move from your hip to your pubic mound. Hwa pressed his thumb over your swollen clit and started rubbing circles.

"O-Oh, Hwa..." You whimper out. You feel that heat building up more and more inside you.

"Hng- You're amazing, (Y/N)."He moaned as well, moving his head away from your neck to stare at your face. You can see he was getting close to his own release by the erotic expression on his face.

"I-I think... I'm going to cum again." You whisper, feeling that all too familiar feeling crawl up your legs. You looked at him with all the love you could muster. The intimacy and intense feelings all added to your impending orgasm. The way the head of his cock hit that sweet spot inside you just right and his thumb swirling and applying the correct amount pressure sent you over the edge. You lean forward with your forehead against his as a loud whine leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around his cock.

"(Y/N)-!" He groaned, still thrusting into your cunt. He stared intensely into your eyes, chasing his own climax. His breathing grows ragged and his thrusts became off rhythm. A moan tumbles from his lips as he sloppily kisses you, thrusting one last time. You feel his cock twitch inside you as his cum coats your walls. He keeps himself fully sheathed inside you as you both catch your breaths.

"Seonghwa..." You murmur, your body slumping against his, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and his hands gently grip the skin of your back. You feel his warm breath fan over the back of your neck as he leveled out his breathing. Seonghwa made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sigh and a moan as he rests his head against yours.

Neither of you said anything further. Seonghwa keeps his arms tight around you while you equally clinged to him. Nothing really needed to be said in this moment, the high emotions you both shared spoke enough.

Minutes passed when you finally speak up.

"We should probably clean up and get you to bed." You whisper to him, pulling your head back to look over this face.

"I want to stay like this, jagiya." He murmurs, placing his lips on your neck. "I feel so close to you like this... "

"I know, love, but we have to be up early." Hwa groaned at this, which makes you laugh.

"Stop being right."

"Come on... let's take a shower, Hwa." He reluctantly helps you off his lap, his softening length now out of you. You both get off from your bed and you lead him out your room to your bathroom. His hands remained on your waist as you both walked and then waited for the shower water to warm up. He didn't want to let go of you just yet.

After the shower and after drying off, you both go back into your room to change into comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down first, slipping under the covers. When you joined him, you laugh when his arms pulled you flush against his body. Seonghwa tucks your head under his chin and he holds you firmly in his arms. You chuckle and hold him just as tightly.

"I don't want to let go of you again... this feels like it's going to be harder than when you when you visited." He says with a sigh.

"I know, Hwa, I know." You mumble, already feel an ache in your chest. "Let's savor the rest of tonight together."

There is a pause.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, Seonghwa."

Morning came too fast your liking. You and Seonghwa awoke with your limbs practically tangled. His warmth despite the temperatures warming outside is comforting in the moment. You both reluctantly got dressed and made Hwa a light breakfast.

A little before 7am, Ateez and their manager came back over to pick Seonghwa up and of course came to say goodbye. You got an earful of teasing when they see the blemishes and marks Hwa left on your neck. You hugged each member and of course your hug lingered on Hwa, with you both gently caressing each other's backs for comfort.

Goodbyes were harder this time around, but you still had that ray of optimism due to your move to South Korea. It will be rough, but with Seonghwa, the rest of Ateez, and even their manager, you knew it would be a feat you'll overcome.

Your new horizon awaits you and your life with Seonghwa seems to be on the right track.

------------

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