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#tf2 and reader
justgrey · 2 months
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What if a teen reader ACCIDENTALLY came out to the TF2 mercenaries? "came out" meaning generally queer in sexuality. the teen would be worried and anxious afterward because they don't want the mercs to hate them for it. (this is based on myself as a girl-loving girl but it can be written for any gender)
you ask, you finally receive. Might start cutting requests down. idk, I feel like writing for some reason. Who knows how long that's gonna last, though.
also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN, just be aware that i might not get it out for a long, long time because motivation works weirdly😇
Mercs with a queer reader (PART 1)
Scout, Engineer, Medic
Warnings : fear of being rejected, swearing, a couple of hcs, medic is his own warning
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Being queer is hard. And being able to not tell anyone (if you're like me and wanna live comfortably) is hard too.
The way they find out is if you got really cosy with them, and I'm talking being invited to Engie's barbecues, Spy letting you smoke one of his fancy ass cigars, and Scout tossing balls to you and acting like an older brother towards you kind of cosy.
So, one day, you accidentally let it slip during a conversation at dinner, having gotten way too comfortable.
Everyone except Medic and Spy was there, choosing to skip to do "work" instead. Your words quieted the whole damn room.
Whatever you did next is up to you. Whether you took it on proudly and kept eating or walked off to your bedroom to cry, up to you.
Reactions
Scout
Scout's unfamiliar with queer people. He didn't know any, and he wasn't taught anything about them.
He is especially unfamiliar with queer men. If you are a queer man, he'd be asking you all the time when he first finds out:
"How don't you find her hot? Or her? Do you find 'dat asshole, Spy hot? Is 'dat how dis works???"
Not with the intention of being slightly offensive, though. Just curious because he kind of struggles to wrap his head around the fact you're queer.
He always had a feeling that you weren't straight as a line, though. He hung around you a lot, even if you were annoyed by him, because he kind of wanted to finally be an older brother because he's always been the youngest.
So this is all a learning experience for him.
He'd definitely stay quiet for a little while, scaring you, before he randomly approaches you the next day.
"So... you like, what... in ta' ladies/dudes?"
(If you like girls, he'd definitely be the guy to say, "Holy shit, me too!" As a way to bond)
"Yeah."
"That's cool... that's cool... wanna talk about it more, or do you wanna go play ball?"
"Play ball."
"Let's go play ball, 'den."
Nothing changes about your relationship. Although he does occasionally ask if someone is your type or not, wanting to learn more about you. But in the end, as long as you still wanna hang around with him, he'll be chill.
Engineer
Unlike Scout, he is educated in queer people. He knows a couple, and he thinks they're pretty cool. Medic is also out to him because he's definitely gay (and trans because I like it that way)
Absolutely nothing changes with Engineer. He doesn't treat you any different or ask you any questions, just continues as normal, but encourages you to talk to him about things because he's definitely experienced it himself.
"You know, you could'a told me that earlier. I wouldn't have judged ya'. I've roamed around that area myself a little too."
"YOU WHAT?!?"
He just likes to get out there and try random shit. He looks like a boring guy, but he's way deeper than the southern merc on the surface.
Just talk to him :(
Medic
He wasn't there when you accidentally came out. He was finishing up an experiment on some organs.
When someone does tell him about it, though, he can't care less because he's queer too.
He also transed his gender. It's not my problem, it's yours now.
Definitely did his own top surgery ngl. Madman. Also discovered how to extract testosterone from sources and synthetically make it. Officially, a pioneer in trans healthcare. Hit him up if you want sum.
He treats you normally because he really doesn't give a fuck. He basically comes out to you as well, though:
"So you don't care."
"Nope."
"Why...?"
"What do you think Heavy and I do while we are working together... and the rest of you are eating?"
"..."
"Wait a minute... wait a... oh."
"Ja."
"HOW ARE STILL ALIVE?! 😭"
Definitely in love with his unofficial soul mate, the Heavy weapons guy.
I'm gonna do parts to this, actually. I'll make a part 2 and a part 3 another day that is even more random. I just need a break cause this is just a little bit lengthy. Ty got reading and sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted 💀. I focused it a lot on the mercs instead of readers' anxiety.
Also, if you don't agree with my medic hcs, lol, fair enough 🥺
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habitabel · 13 days
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GUYS GUYS GUYS
what do I do with myself rn I'm tweaking out I'm gonna rip my skin off what THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME
Edit❗❗❗ for more info, I have links to the discord, Twitter, and the official team lovetress website on my page! It's pinned at the top <3 the discord requires you to share a picture of your ID because I guess the game might have nsfw themes or maybe the discord does?? Not too sure but yeah just a warning!! Also, it's been brought to my attention that cabbage (the artist shown here) has stepped away from this project!! I'll share the tweet from cabbage here v
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(ily @ncalabby )
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bob-mirum · 4 months
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-Ah, it's you… What do you need at such an early hour..? Schatz?
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haileybirdart · 28 days
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Miss Pauling x Male!Reader Headcanons:
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She leaves you for a woman
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danafoss · 1 month
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I need him to bruise my cervix
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prettyboypistol · 3 months
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How to Seduce the TF2 Mercs
Scout
Pay attention to him. Give him genuine compliments and honest feedback. He wants to feel loved and like he's worth someone's time.
Kisses and physical affection. Mans thinks about the time you put your hand on his shoulder for weeks.
Just say you love him, man. He's been overlooked his whole life.
Soldier
Take him seriously- don't belittle him or make jokes about how he views the world. He knows he's a little crazy but he is genuinely trying his best to make the world a better place.
Defend him!!! If someone shit talks him, punch that motherfucker in the jaw!!
Honest discussions with you asking a lot of questions, take the time to get to know him and you'll have a defender for the rest of your life.
Pyro
Much like with Soldier, defend them and take the time to get to know them.
Gifts, gifts, gifts!!! Give them gifts!
Be a little flirty ;> don't baby them! Treat them like the adult they are!
Demoman
Bro just ask to fuck. He'll probably say yes.
He loves a bold mf that knows how to take what they want. Come on to him, buy him a drink, and ask if he's got any company for the night.
If you're going for something a little more long term, just remove the sleeping aspect. Just say you're interested in getting to know him you'll most likely get a date and see how things go.
Engineer
He's a sucker for practical use gifts (i.e. mechanical oil, a new wrench, etc) or sentimental gifts (photograph of you two, love letters)
Call him handsome! Call him pretty and a gentleman! Appeal to that cowboy energy and treat him all respectful like and you'll definitely catch his interest.
If you're not the type to do all that song and dance, go the opposite route. Stump him with a logistic problem and tease him about it. He'll nonstop think about you for months and bitch about you to his sentries.
Heavy
Mikhail likes hotheads and determined people, someone who's not afraid to fight if the situation comes to it.
Ask him about general things and slowburn that mf about nice conversations until you two can talk about personal things.
Ask him to help you clean your guns! Ask him weaponry questions about what would suit you better in the field!
Medic
GET THIS MAN SOME ORGANS. GET HIM SOME FUNDING!!!! get him a lil lovebirddddd
Take the time to get to know his birds and if the birds like you, Medic automatically likes you more.
Take an interest in his medical discoveries and his life! He's a prime yapper and wants to t a l k. That's why he never shuts up when doing surgery.
Spy
Romance him traditionally, to be honest. Keep it classy and court him like the romantic he is. Roses placed in his locker, prime dinners delivered to his door, BE A ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.
If you can't dance, ask him to teach you "for a mission" (He will know that you're the one behind all the flirtatious gestures bc he's SPY)
Butter up that man like he's a piece of toast. Handsome young man who captured your heart and holds it hostage. Classy gentleman that could get away with world domination with gorgeous eyes like that.
Sniper
Don't come on too strong, he's a bristly one. Be calm and casual. Hit him with that friends to lovers.
He's more of a tough nut to crack and insecure of if you actually like him, so be sure to flood his mind with ambiguous hints when you think you see signs of him showing interest in you.
To really seal yourself in his heart, spend a lot of quality time with him! Go camping, hunting, fishing, driving, anything that gets the both of you alone and quiet.
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ghosties--writing · 4 months
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Something I learned in my Spanish class is that most Mexicans just go "ch ch" to get others attention.
I now have the idea in my head of Alejandro talking to his men, who have adhd and to keep them focused he randomly says "ch ch" in the middle of a sentence. All while 141 is standing behind him trying not to die of laughter because they don't know why he's saying "ch ch" and it sounds like he's glitching.
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mrsvalentinefucker1 · 3 months
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Another sniper redraw
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miintsprigz · 5 months
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Mercs x GN! reader who drew them (ALL NINE!)
This goes out to everyone, not just my artists.
But yes, all my fic material is extremely self-serving.
Big thank you to a dear friend of mine for helping me with mercs like Pyro, Engie, Sniper, and Medic when I got stuck.
VERY LONG POST INCOMING
Scout
• Well, he IS an artist himself, that’s probably how the two of you first started talking.
• Ran past one day, only to immediately throw it in reverse and go “hey whoa whoa whoa when were you gonna tell me you could draw?!”
•Naturally…it was only a matter of time.
•He was always so encouraging about your stuff, so…after working up the guts, you showed him.
• “Yo wait a sec…you drew me??? I…” For once in his life, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never been drawn—not even a self-portrait. For as cocky as he seems…well…
•He just…stares for a second. Marveling. Is that…really what I look like?
• “Do you like it?” “Abso-friggin-lutely, (Y/N)!!! You kiddin’? I don’t even look that beautiful in real life! And ya know, that’s sayin’ somethin!”
•You laugh, and he pulls you in so fast to hug you that you weren’t even ready. “But seriously…thank you. I’ve uh…I’ve never been drawn before. You did amazing. …you know I gotta draw you now, right?”
•And he does. He’s a complete perfectionist about it—he feels like he can’t replicate you, you’re one of a kind. (He actually does very well! But he’s so shy showing it to you…d’aww.)
Pyro
•Pyro was more of a doodler than anything. They loved color. And of course, you could resonate with that.
•Sometimes you’d draw designs and let them color it in. They giggled all the while…they just adored how creative you were.
•Being the most secretive about their appearance, they’re hard to nail down…even for you. Pyro is most themself in their full gear. You, out of everyone, know that best.
•So you took a…different approach. Abstraction.
•Their hands, the ones that so often seemed to be magnetically drawn to you.
•Their back, the strong shoulders when they just felt content to sit in the quiet with you.
•The brief glimpses you’d caught of their face—split second instances in shadows—those were easy, yet challenging. Their brief sightings made them easy to be abstract about, and yet, it made them harder to actually nail down.
•Conjuring a rather fittingly smoky composition, it had a dreamlike feel to it. Pure Pyro.
•You were only a bit hesitant to show them, but when they did see…they surprised you a bit.
•You could see them straighten up a bit…surprised. They craned their neck a bit, looking closer, gently curling their fingers over yours to hold the snapshot-like portraits with you.
• “Hmmm…” There was a sort of…tranquility to them. So unlike your little sparky fella.
• “Do you like them?” Immediately, the edge of their mask bumped against your forehead—your own personal way of kissing. That was all the answer you needed.
•They couldn’t verbalize it, but…seeing beauty in images of themself. The same beauty they saw all around them…it made them see themself in a way they never had before.
•And of course, it made them fall even deeper in love with you, the one who cared for them so much that they took the time to look so deeply.
Heavy
•Heavy is a very intelligent man, but he’s never had much gift for creative work. Even his insults were kind of just the same thing repeated, when the other mercs made it an art form.
•So he couldn’t help but be enraptured by your artistic endeavors and how much work you put into them.
•He loved to see you covered in your medium of choice, your passion for it. Made him lovesick. How lovely you were doing what you loved.
•If he could paint, he would have wanted to paint that. So he could look at it forever.
•So of course, imagine his delight when you decided to draw him!
• That roaring laugh you so enjoyed boomed immediately, just elated.
•“Ohhhh…look at that! You captured me perfectly! Beautiful!” You couldn’t help but beam with pride.
•“Can Heavy keep this?” “Of course you can, hon.” This warranted a sudden barrage of kisses to your face, which cracked you up of course.
•“Very happy to have such talented artist as yourself to love. But to me? You are most beautiful. In all the world.” Despite being more eloquent in his native language, Heavy could still get you to turn red. “Oh gosh…” “Is true!”
Demoman
•Tavish had always been a pretty sentimental fellow. He really did enjoy artwork, but didn’t talk about it much.
•Once he discovered that you were an artist, he was over the moon. Finally, he felt, he could talk to someone about art without them possibly poking fun.
•He’d never go in your sketchbook unless you allowed him to, but he always looked with such admiration in his eyes. “That’s bloody brilliant. So long as ya luv it, never stop doin’ this. Cuz I’ll never stop lookin.”
•One day, you told him you had a surprise for it. “I dunno if I like surprises…” “Oh trust me, Demo,” you chirped, “I think you’ll like this one.”
•As you held up the finished product, his mouth went agape. Almost instantly, he began to smile.
•“Well aren’t you just the sweetest!! That’s me there???” “Yes, love. I uh, I hope that you like it.” His gaze shifted over to you, and you could see his eye had grown somewhat misty.
•Demo was at a loss for words. He had never thought of himself as particularly good-looking, certainly not good enough to be drawn. And yet. You had drawn him. Drawn him very well. And he liked how he looked. Was that how you saw him?
•“Aw, Tav…you okay??” He blinked quick, trying to keep composed.“Never better…c’mere, you…”
•Wrapping his arms around you, he gave you a kiss, just about taking your breath away.
•“My little artist…ya made me look so good.” You caught him rubbing his eye a bit. “I just drew what I saw.” “Well, ya see a work of art in me. And that? That’s the best surprise of all.”
Engineer
•With how much designing went into his machines, Dell could always appreciate the skills of an artist. So when he learned that you were one, well, that only sweetened an already sweet deal.
•You were a little self-conscious at first about him watching you work. You tended to just work parallel to one another, both lost in your own stuff.
•You’d sometimes stop what you were doing to follow his hands as he put the pieces together, fingers wandering as they looked for the correct tool.
•When the inverse happened though—when Engie watched you work—he admired your spontaneity. You could start off with a total wild card and somehow managed to pull it all together and make it work, in a way he never could have come up with.
•Being rather rigid in his own trade, that was something Dell couldn’t help but be dazzled by. Very smart man for sure, but rather by-the-book. Not like you. He saw genius in the way your mind worked.
•So, one day, as the two of you perused each other’s handiwork a bit, you shyly revealed the piece you’d made of him—hard at work on an updated sentry model.
•His lips parted a little like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.
•“I know it’s a little rocky…I’m not the best at drawing machinery.” Gently, he took ahold of the sketchbook and gave it a soft tug, nonverbally asking for permission to hold it. You let him.
•As he looked closer, a warm smile crept across his face. “Well, well…wouldja look at that. That’s me alright.” He chuckled heartily, but you realized it was from admiration, not amusement.
•“Look at you, (Y/N)! Saw me all covered in dirt an’ said ‘yeah, I can make art from that’. I love it…shucks, darlin’, I can hardly get my eyes off of it.”
•He looked back at you, still all aglow, only to find you blushing to the point of near luminescence. “Aw, c’mon now honey…no need to be all shy. You’re incredible, ya know that?”
•An arm slunk around your shoulders, pulling you fast to his side, quickly pecking the top of your head. “I love it, and I love you.”
Soldier
•Soldier was a brave man, that he was confident in. But even he was self-aware enough to realize he wasn’t the sharpest.
•Anything he’d ever drawn looked like kids’ stuff, so to see what you could make? It blew his mind.
•Jane tried not to stare while you drew—you’d gotten all nervous when you’d caught him, and he was trying to be courteous—but he couldn’t deny how it captivated him.
•“Whatcha workin’ on now?” “I’m drawing those two goofs.” You motioned to the Spy and Scout bickering as they often did. “Why them, of all things?” “I just like capturing the moment sometimes.”
•One day, as you sat while he drilled the rest of the team, you started to do just that. You found it hard not to chuckle just a little as the others groaned and rolled their eyes.
•Sure, you got their annoyance, but you couldn’t help but be pulled in by Jane’s excitement and hot-bloodedness.
•“Seemed pretty lost in your work there, or I woulda asked you to join in.” A strong hand ruffling your hair snapped you out of your daze. “Capturing the moment again?”
•“Uh-huh. I think this is my best one yet.” You turned the book around to show him, and you saw his lips part slightly in surprise before he suddenly laughed. “Haha! Look at that! It’s me!”
•You laughed with him, just happy to see him so tickled by it. “I think I really captured you.” “I’d say so, kid! I’d say so…wow.” The amusement gave way to what you realized was…almost awe.
•“I look…strong. Proud.” “Yep.” “…I look good.” “Of course you do.” He nudged his helmet down a bit with his hand, chuckling to himself. From what little bit of his face you saw…was he blushing?
•Imitating him playfully—it was something you two tended to do, he found it cute—you joked, in your best impression of him, “‘Are you going soft on me, maggot??? You’re red as a tomato!’” “Noooo…oh, (Y/N), what am I gonna do with you?”
•He caught the side of your face softly and pecked you on the cheek. “But…really. Thank you, sweetheart. I think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever made.”
Sniper
•Truthfully, Mick had never given a lot of thought to the arts before he’d met you. What really caught his eye was the amount of time you put into it.
•Sniper knew better than anyone that holding still, completely focused on your task, being all but absorbed in it…that was respectable.
•The fact that he could leave for work and come back to find you in the same spot? It was just very attractive to him.
•You stopped by to watch him sometimes, very discreetly, on less busy days, although he wouldn’t lie, it got him nervous. He trusted in his own skills plenty, but…you weren’t just anyone. He couldn’t have you getting hurt.
•So one day, as he finally wrapped up, he saw you, still hard at work. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but if it was time to go, he wanted to go. Giving you a light pat on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Almost done there, darlin? Quittin’ time.”
•“Just a bit more…there. Perfect. Check it out.” You held up what you’d been working on: a full sketch of him invested in his own work.
•It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but once he did, he couldn’t help but be amazed. Slightly slack-jawed, he looked up at you, the faintest trace of a smile.
•“Never considered myself the modelin’ type, ‘specially not out here, but…wow. Ya really did it. And I look bloody good, too!” “Well duh!” “Oh, stop—” Oh, that got him. The Aussie was surprisingly easy to fluster once he’d fully grown comfortable, and you loved it.
•“Awww, are you blushing?” “Just a little…now c’mon.” Taking your hand, he helped you up, quickly hugging you around the shoulders, catching you somewhat off-guard.
•“But really. Great job there. Thanks…it’s an honor, ya know that? To be drawn by you?” “Gosh—” “Heh, now you’re the one goin’ all red.” “Oh, stop—”
Medic
•The good(?) doctor first learned of your artistic prowess when he caught you trying to draw the charts he had on his wall. “Ooh! Very impressive.”
•Medic could do a lot of things, but drawing wasn’t really one of them. He couldn’t resist watching you work, even though he knew it was a bit touchy.
•“Poetry in motion, Liebe. Really.” Simp. “Oh, come on—” “I mean it! You have such precision, such grace…it’s a sight to behold!”
•So of course, when you were working on something that you absolutely would not let him look at, he wanted to see even more.
•“I promise that whatever it is, I will find it as beautiful as you!” “It’s not that, silly—it’s supposed to be a surprise!” He seemed almost sulky about it…it was kind of cute, although you did feel a bit bad.
•Eventually though, it was done—him, with Archimedes on his shoulder. “Okay, honey, you can look now.”
•One hand comes up over his mouth, audibly gasping. “Is that…? It is!!! Haha!”
•You had never seen him this happy, and you couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, (Y/N)! Look at that…and Archimedes too!”
•Perhaps unsurprisingly, he brings the bird out to show him too. It’s hard to gauge the response from a dove, but the tranquil cooing seems to suggest that he enjoys it.
•The doctor catches you off-guard as he sweeps you into a kiss. “Oh…danke, Schatz (treasure). May I keep this?” “Of course~”
•Best believe this man is showing your art off to EVERYONE who he treats, going on and on about what an incredible artist and person you are.
Spy
•This guy is a man of culture, he can appreciate good art. And good artists, wink.
•But in all seriousness, your attention to detail was incredibly attractive to him. After you’d been together for a while, the two of you would sit in his smoking room and relax together once the work day was over.
•Sometimes he’d be off to the side just doing his own thing, reading, but other times he’d actually sit beside you and watch. There was an intimacy to it, one you took time to grow fully comfortable with, but he was patient.
•So when you were very secretive one night, it caught his attention. Nothing slipped past him—not even you. You sensed him behind you surprisingly quickly though, and quickly closed the project up.
•“Shy tonight, are we? So unlike you, mon bijou (my jewel)…” “Hehe…be patient, babe, it’s not done yet.”
•His arms wrapped around you from behind briefly…gosh, it was difficult to keep anything secret from this man. “Very well. Keep your secrets…for now.”
•But he respected that you didn’t want him to see it just yet, and so he waited.
•“…Okay, you can look now.” In an instant, he was behind you again. It was hard to even look up at the guy right now, but once you did…there was this sense of wonder in his face that you hadn’t seen before.
•It wasn’t often that Spy looked at himself unmasked for longer than a few seconds—he’d almost forgotten his own face by now. For spies, he reasoned, it was better that way. But the way you had captured every detail of him…
•“Oh, what a handsome devil…wonder who that could be…” Was he trying to brush off his own flustering? Maybe a little.
•You couldn’t help but giggle as he almost hurriedly sat down next to you, quickly drawing you in close as he continued to look. Almost entranced.
•That element of intimacy I mentioned before? It was his turn to feel it now. Not even in a physical way, which is what this Casanova is so used to.
•No, the fact that you had clearly just…looked at his face, so intently. There was something raw and vulnerable to it. And as much as he wanted to look at it even more, his eyes were magnetically drawn to you.
•“I wouldn’t have ever asked it of you, but…I always wondered what it would look like if you drew me. I…”
•Glancing back down, he found that he couldn’t even come up with anything to say. The act of love had rendered him speechless. YOU BROKE HIM OH MY GOSH/j
•“…Do you like it?” Before you could say anything else, you were swiftly kissed, and I mean kissed.
•Spy always looked at you with a sort of passion, but this was different. He had never felt so much love for someone. Felt like a young, hopeless romantic boy all over again.
•“I adore it…and most of all, I adore you, mon cœur (my heart).”
AAAAND IM DONE. WHEW. That was fun!
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lead0 · 5 months
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based on from the outback with love by @neo-my-geo
no idea how tumblr works so no guarantee that link will work ahaha :,)
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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months
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Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.
I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.
If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.
The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)
WARNING: severe amounts of simping
Scout:
- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HE’S BROKKEEENNN
- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.
- You’re confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesn’t react.
- In his head he’s already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in people’s heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?
- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. He’s batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a “SPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!” as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.
———————————————————————-
Soldier:
“NOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLY— Oh.. Ah..” Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demoman’s sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?
- Because on one hand, you’re impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand that’s HIS THING. NOT YOURS! He’s one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.
- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)
- “Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” You ask him afterwards. “NEGATIVE. THAT’S A ROCKET. I ran out of room.” He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something he’d do.
———————————————————————-
Demoman:
- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. He’s both offended, and slightly attracted. You’ve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody — among other things.
- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, he’s scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and he’s old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesn’t make him any less disoriented though.
- “Ay.. finally somebody who’s on my level!” he calls after you. Promising he’ll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. He’s trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.
- Well, you’re tied. You’re both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.
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Engineer:
- You distract him so much he doesn’t even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. You’ve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. “God. DANGIT.”
- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points… emphasis on tries. You’re his type AND you’re blood thirsty. He can’t help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.
- He can’t bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasn’t raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didn’t sound so weird out of context.
- Fuck it. Christian shame doesn’t beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. You’ve fucked him up.
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Heavy:
- “Heavy, i’m fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when to— Was zur Hölle?!” Medic complains, looking away from Heavy’s WAY too apparent hard on.
- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. He’s both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.
- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. It’s disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didn’t exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.
- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.
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Pyro:
- You’re the same as them in their point of view. A ‘misunderstood’ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!
- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. You’ve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.
- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. “Hey. It’s alright. I got this.” You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. “What’s up?” You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.
- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.
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Sniper:
- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few — for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.
- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering you’re the first person in a while who hasn’t fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.
- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. “Eyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.” He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.
- “As if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.” You talk back. “I do, actually.” He says, shrugging at your rage. He didn’t feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. “I could show ya if ya want.”
- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point it’s red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for god’s sake while you’re at it.
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Medic:
- Uhm.. Medic’s a little weird.
- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims it’s because they’re all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.
- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He can’t focus after what he’s seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god he’s gross. God, just shut up.
- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, he’s just incredibly horny. “Archimedes.” Medic said breathlessly. “I do believe i’m moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..” He sort of laughs nervously.
- Coooo. Brrr.
- “Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.” His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. “Every time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.” He says, darkly. What he doesn’t know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him — with your consent — it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.
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Spy:
- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesn’t waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy we’re talking about here. He’s a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.
- “That was some fine work out there.” He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. “Would you care to join me for a second?” He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because he’s something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.
- “I have a feeling—“ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didn’t sense any discomfort. “That we will enjoy each other’s company often, my pet.” He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.
- Dude is so fucking slick that you can’t resist him. He’s unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesn’t hold back. His knife is threatening your back and he’s atop you. “Shhh.”
- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.
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sardonic-the-writer · 7 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ includes: scout, engineer, heavy, medic, sniper, and spy (i forgot demo i'm so sorry)
↳ warnings: bad translations, slight mentions of world war two and malpractice
↳ song: with a little help from my friends—joe cocker
masterlist | commissions | carrd
𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐭
• He would be so smug about it
• Puffing his chest out and everything
• His friends in the past- and even family members -have teased him for mispronouncing words or speaking too fast, and it’s made him a bit self conscious about the way he talks. But after hearing that you find it endearing, its a giant ego boost for him
• “Yeah dat’s right! Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!” Scout smiles as he flexes his arms in your face, subjecting you to what he likes to call a surprise gun show. You pretend to hate it as you shove his arm away, but chuckle all the same
• He’s already gloated before that he already knew his accent was the best. Boston is the greatest place in the world after all! But hearing it from you really just sent him over the moon
• Makes a point to talk to you a lot more now; as if he didn’t already
• “Yo! Hey did you see that kill out there? I totally messed dat Spy up! One wrong step and pow! He’s dead meat!”
• “I saw Scout. I was covering your flank while you did it, remember?”
• “Yeah yeah, but I just thought you’d like ta hear about it again.”
𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫
• Didn’t consider himself to have an accent until you pointed him out
• Sure, he says the occasional y’all and ain’t, but not enough to qualify as a whole different way of speaking
• It wasn’t until he dropped a hammer on his foot and cursed that he understood what you’d meant
• “What in the sam hill! Sweet hell!” He’d exclaimed, startled. Once the throbbing in his leg had subsided, Engineer replayed his words in his head, making a slight o with his mouth as he realized you were probably right. To some extent at least
• He was a born and raised Texas boy, so it makes sense that the culture rubbed off
• Doesn’t understand at first that you find it nice. Maybe he thought you pointed it out just because you could? He’s a bit distracted when it comes to anything but machinery, so he misses context sometimes
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲
• Surprised that someone like you who can speak English fluently finds his mannerisms attractive
• Gets frustrated sometimes when he can’t remember certain words in English. Heavy is a very smart man, so it aggravates him when he looks illiterate in front of his team
• That’s why hearing that you like his mother tongue caught him by surprise
• “But you don’t know any Russian?” He’d rumbled out as a question. When you shook your head no, still sporting a smile, his eyebrows furrowed further
• “Nah. But I like hearing it when it comes from you. It sounds more natural. Like you’re more comfortable than normal, you know?”
• You’re technically right. When Heavy slips into Russian, often whilst talking to Sasha or simply forgetting that not everyone on the team know how to speak it, he is more comfortable in his words. They flow better, and he’s flattered that you’ve noticed
• One hundred percent offers to teach you Russian in his spare time. He finds it slightly adorable how you stumble over words in your broken translations, but always manages to softly correct you
• He’s a really good teacher
𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜
• Positively thrilled that you like his voice
• When you tell him for the first time, he goes into shock for a moment before breaking out into the biggest smile you’ve seen. Somehow its a perfect balance between excited and malicious
• “Do you hear zhat Archemedies? Mein freund here enjoys my accent!” He cooes at his bird, chuckling in a way that would make anyone’s insides squirm
• Once you look past Medic’s initially devious reaction, it’s very clear he enjoys knowing this
• If anything, the ex-doctor would have thought that you’d enjoy the more stereotypically romantic sounding languages. Spanish, Latin, etc
• German has always been considered harsh or scary sounding, and it turned a lot of people away from hiring him after the events of World War Two, which he understood. Still, Medic finds himself absolutely tickled that you are drawn to his accent
• Finds himself slipping more and more into German while doing checkups on you now. When he catches himself, he translates most of what’s he’s said back to you. But sometimes he’ll simply forget, and it leaves you wondering if he’s offered you a glass of water or the opportunity to swap your bladder out
• You sincerely hoped it was the former
𝐒𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫
• Oh my god you killed him
• Sniper is very reserved. Living in his camper, hunting his own game for dinner instead of joining the others, literally pissing in jars, etc etc
• Being a man of few words comes part and parcel with that; which normally works out just find because Scout talks enough for ten people
• Hasn’t said much to you before. He mostly communicates in head nods or slight tilts of his coffee mug in your direction. Maybe a few ‘good mornin’s’ tossed around, but nothing more than that
• “You know, you should talk more.” You’d said to him one day while pouring a fresh pot of tea you had just boiled into your own mug. He preferred black coffee himself, but whatever floats your boat
• “You voice.” You elaborated after a sip. You must have noticed his confused look as you carried on. “It’s nice. Can’t imagine that you don’t have gals throwing themselves at you all the time because of it.”
• Suddenly very grateful he wasn’t drinking any of his brew at the time, because what you said surely would have made him choked
• He, in fact, had had a few ladies approach him in town before saying something along the same lines. Even a few fellas. But nothing made him blanch this strongly like you had
• Excuses himself as he walks out of the room suddenly, tilting his hat down to cover his face no one can see the furious red tint forming
• Sniper leaves you in the communal kitchen. Holding a steaming cup of liquid and looking very confused
𝐒𝐩𝐲
• Already knew before you told him
• To anyone else, it would have been passible as just curiosity. But Spy’s job is to know things, and it is an undeniable fact that you found his voice attractive
• Doesn’t utilize this weapon often. You are not a weak willed person swayed by just a few words, so when he needs something he pulls out all the stops
• Of course, that doesn’t stop him from being impressed when you eventually admit your little not-so-secret-secret to him. And of your own free will. He didn’t have to pry it out of you, which was a feat on its own
• Much like Heavy, he extends the offer of teaching you how to learn his language. Now that he no longer has this knowledge as a bargaining chip, he might as well seize the opportunity to teach you a proper language
• Considers using electroshock therapy to condition you faster, but nixes it pretty quick
• Again, like Heavy, he finds it cute how horrible you are at French. More amused than anything, but he can appreciate the way you practice verbs in your free time even when he isn’t leaning over your shoulder
• That you know of, that is
• Praises you often in french, letting excited phrases slip when you nail a particularly hard set of words
• “Merveilleux ! Tu t’améliores beaucoup, ma petite. Encore une fois.”
• While you don’t understand the full extent to his words, you smile and continue on, eventually realizing what he had said later in a fit of embarrassment
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habitabel · 2 months
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My favorite genre of TF2 fanart is EEPY SNIPER fanart, examples:
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I have a link to my board full of napping sniper art on my Pinterest I'll link it below 😝 (SEND ME MORE IF YOU FIND ANY
❗❗❗THIS IS NOT MY ART BTW THE ORIGINAL ARTISTS SHOULD BE ON THE PINTEREST BOARD I LINKED❗❗❗
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bob-mirum · 1 month
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cuddles with Medic please
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Well it's kind of self-indulgent, but anyway-
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danafoss · 1 month
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Blue hour desperation
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prettyboypistol · 6 months
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Mercs Thanksgiving Headcanons
Found Family is just as valid as blood and these mfs are HOMIES
Scout
Primary shit talker at the table while also somehow being the most incoherent about things.
Loves the feeling of being surrounded by people who kind of like him. It reminds him if home with his brothers and mom.
Passes out on the couch after eating a metric ton(2 plates and a fuck ton of mashed potatoes)
Soldier
Tries to cook, gets immediately kicked out of the kitchen.
Plays outside with the raccoons/already drunk people, absolutely gets into the inevitable politics fistfight on the side of AMERICA
Man eats his weight in turkey and then battles the calories off
Pyro
Happy to be here :)
They like being around in a holiday of togetherness and familial love, especially since they view the crew as family.
Helps Engie and Spy with the food prep, is actually surprisingly helpful and good at searing/flambe
Demoman
Is totally fine with people cooking dinner until he actually looks and starts backseat cooking.
Judgey drunk aunt energy lmao. This man comes for your THROAT at the table. "Oh ye ain't gotta girlfriend?? What happened to being God's gift to humanity??"
Probably the best advice giver, as long as you ignore his suggestion to take a swig of Dutch courage whenever you're scared.
Heavy
Secretly is absolutely enraptured with the idea to have a day surrounding family and friends.
Makes him a little sad that his mother and sisters aren't there, but he appreciates that Scout, Soldier, and Engie are over the moon about the tradition of dinner together.
Coddles the drunkards and is the cornerstone of the inevitable cuddle pile of tired sleepy men on the couch
Engineer
Heartwarming father energy ON GOD
You thought this man was southern then??? Hoo boy this man is the most gentlesouled cook in the kitchen. He's got all the southern tricks to get everyone at the table.
Glares at the fighting but playfully engages in light teasing. He dotes on Scout and Pyro a good bit as they remind him of his nephews back home.
Spy
Isn't a fan of the whole idea at all, but realizes it's important to most of the group so he joins in anyway.
He eats quietly and watches, the feeling is slightly uncomfortable being around all of the cheering joyfulness. He's not supposed to be here, he's a spy!
The last one awake, and with a little sigh he cleans the dishes, puts away the leftovers, and puts a blanket over the pile of mercenaries on the couch. It's nice when they're quiet.
Sniper
Surprisingly very happy (secretly) about the concept. He likes hanging out with the group, especially when he's allowed to space out in the general area of everyone without an obligation to talk.
Second to last asleep and offers to have a small campfire out back with Spy for a more quiet gesture. After all, he understood Spy's want to be quiet and just observe.
Finds the Scout-Demoman debates hilariously entertaining.
Medic
Is banned from the kitchen :(
This mf is megabanned from touching the food and drinks. Scout and Engie are hypervigilant about that. "NUH UH! NO SLIPPING STUFF IN THE TURKEY!"
Genuinely likes the banter but after a good half hour he gets a headache. He's the first to steal the couch to rest on, but probably the 3rd to fall asleep.
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