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comradelup · 3 years

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64 Lucretia and taako?

Taako’s angry. And he’s angry at that. When he’s angry— when he’s stressed in general, he bakes. Everyone likes cupcakes, right?

He forces himself to unclench his jaw as he’s frosting, focusing on the repetitive motion of swirling it around each one over and over. He blinks and raises his eyebrows, moving his face in order to stretch and relax the muscles.

“What are yo—”

Taako jumps, letting out an involuntary yelp. One of the cupcakes is smudged and imperfect now, and he scowls at it before turning to scowl at the source of the distraction.

Lucretia looks like a deer in headlights. “I-I’m sorry I was just seeing what you were up to I didn’t mean to—”

Taako presses a finger to the tip of her nose, effectively silencing her. Her eyes go crossed as she stares at it.

“It’s all good,” he says simply. He drops his hand and goes back to work, ignoring the messed up one as if it wasn’t even there.

“…Oh,” Lucretia says, “Okay. Is… is everything okay?”

“Yes?” Taako says, hackles rising. He doesn’t need anyone prying, certainly not this nerdy human who barely saw the world before this mission.

Okay edgelord, calm down, Taako tells himself, Luce isn’t the guilty party here.

“I just… you only bake this much when there’s something going on,” Lucretia says, unaware of Taako’s internal monologue. “Usually it’s a party or something, but I remember that giant cake you made when Lup died one cycle.”

It’s been… about five decades now. Taako’s much older than that, but he’s never spent five decades with a person— besides Lup, that is. Still, it’s a long time. He should’ve guessed that in that time these people would get to know him.

“Yeah. Yeah okay,” Taako says, putting down his tube of frosting and bracing his hands on the countertop. “I’m… kinda goin’ through it right now.”

Lucretia finally moves to sit down in one of the island chairs. She eyes the cupcakes before her but doesn’t take one without permission from him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Taako says. No way. “I just need to get over it. …This stupid— this is stupid! I don’t need to be jealous, she’s my sister! She’s not gonna fuckin’ drop me because she’s got a boyfriend. I’m being stupid!”

Whoops. Making a promise in one breath and breaking it in the next, way to go Taako. He glares at the counter, at his frosting covered fingers, then up at Lucretia.

“I won’t tell anyone, promise,” she says, which Taako didn’t know he needed to hear. “But I think you should talk to her about it.” That, less so.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll just take advice from you, Only Child,” he says.

“I may have been born an only child but I’ve lived with Magnus for fifty years, I get what having siblings is like,” Lucretia says, with that gently joking tone of hers, “My Cain Instinct has never been better.”

When Taako doesn’t respond, she says, “Do you want coffee? I could go for some.”

He sees the olive branch, in all its caffeinated glory. Usually he’d push it away, snap it in half, even. But this time, he sighs. “Yeah, sure.”

Lucretia smiles as she stands, and Taako manages a small smile back.

<><><>

Raven’s Roost is in a constant state of sunrise. The early morning feel of being awake when no one else is yet defines Magnus’ house, and it’s a strangely good look on him. He’s grown up, with his memory of the century tied with his memory of Julia; Taako’s kind of pissed that she made him mature in a few short years when the six of them couldn’t do that in ten decades. “I guess that proves she’s one hell of a woman,” he said to Magnus, who agreed with a loving look in his eye.

Taako’s been couch surfing. A nomadic childhood plus a career in running away made him permanently restless. He’s long since worked through his jealousy of Barry and Lup’s relationship, but he’s now jealous of their work. Lup gets restless like him, but she can just go out, kick bad guy ass with her husband, and be back in time for dinner.

The reapers can teleport, so Taako’s traveling hasn’t impacted the four of them much. Whenever Taako misses one of them (or all of them…) he just picks up his stone and a portal (or three…) is carved into the air.

Right now, he’s staying at Raven’s Roost. After Wonderland, his legs have been slowly getting better, and he’s finding that he doesn’t need his wheelchair as often as usual. So Magnus is cooking him up a personalized pair of crutches that should get him back on his feet, literally.

There’s just one complication: Lucretia. (At some point she stopped being a sister and started being a complication and Taako’s getting used to it, even if it makes him want to break whatever he’s holding at the moment.) She’s staying in Raven’s Roost too, apparently this is her second home. Whenever she takes a break from her job of rebuilding the world they broke, she comes to be protected by her brother, and Magnus welcomes her with open arms. And of course he takes in Taako at the same time. Magnus is a man with a heart full of love, but a head empty of subtlety.

Taako watches the coffee pot do its thing, the smell of caffeine and drowsiness a perfect accompaniment to the dozens of windows letting in the morning light. Everything is still, and Taako’s too aware, so he notices when footsteps creep quietly into the room.

“Good morning,” she says, voice low. She’s careful not to be loud, but even her tendency to silence speaks volumes.

“Morning,” he says, much less careful. His tired voice cuts through air and stabs ears. His own twitch in annoyance at himself, but not everyone can carry themselves with as much gravitas as her.

He hears Lucretia take in a breath, about to speak, and she sighs. “Taako, I’m sorry.”

She’s said that a lot. They’ve fallen into a pattern of her trying to talk about it (it: an unspoken thing wafting between them like the smell of rotten garbage) and him ignoring her; she still hasn’t stopped trying every so often, but he still hasn’t stopped refusing her.

At his silence, she continues, rambling, “I don’t even know what to say, I know I shouldn’t have done it and I know I was cruel and I’m not asking you to forgive me or even like me but please I just want to talk.”

He doesn’t have to turn to see what she’s doing. Even when she looks and acts different, he can pick up her habits; he knows her too well. She’s probably holding up a hand, trying to hold onto a staff that isn’t there. He perfectly times his mental image of her dropping it in frustration with the sound of her hand colliding with the fabric of her clothes.

When he’s still silent, she says, “Please?”

“Do you want coffee? I could go for some,” he says. He’s already rising up in his floating chair to pull out two mugs, setting them on the counter.

“…I’d love some. Thank you.”

He looks over his shoulder at her as she sits at the island. The kitchen is similar to the one on the Starblaster; seeing as Magnus built the house himself, Taako guesses it isn’t coincidence. She offers him an uneasy smile and he manages a small smile back, unable to make eye contact.

“It’s two sugars, right?” he asks, as if he doesn’t have it memorized.

“Yes,” she says, as if she doesn’t know he has it memorized.

#🎶 this got out of haaaaand 🎶 and ended up 1300 words loooong 🎶#1300 exactly actually. fun!#taz #taz balance #taz fic #balance #taako #lucretia #loner squad #writing #ask #anon #this was cathartic! ty for requesting

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gardenerian · 3 years

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Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score | for @halcyonlauren

#hi lauren ty for this idea it was v special #i hope you like the set!#i also wound up getting the book this comes from #so ty for that as well #i love that you send me poems and books for requests!! so special #anyways this was cathartic #shameless #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #userita #userdebbiedoos #usersarasays #idk idk tags tags tags #flashing gif #strobe tw #things i made

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sapphoslibrary · 3 years

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94 for Willow and Lyra

94: “stay there.”

tw: discussions of sex (nothing explicit or described)

Lyra grasps at my shirt as we move clumsily towards the couch, tripping over each other’s feet but stubbornly refusing to break the kiss. She sits at the edge of the couch and gently pulls me down to straddle her waist, tipping her head up just slightly. I close my eyes, reaching up with both hands to hold her face, breathing hard with the passionate kiss.

Even with the messy, almost-heated kiss, Lyra’s gentle. Her hands slide slowly up and down my back, her fingertips dancing over my spine, moving with care and reverence I’ve never felt before, and it just makes me want more. More kissing, more touching, more being close to Lyra… but nothing beyond that.

Being on the couch, on the girl I love’s lap, in the middle of this passionate kiss… it’s nerve wracking. There’s that thought in the back of my head that says she’s going to take it further. She wants to do more than kiss, and she’s going to do it. Right here and right now, and I can’t do it.

The kiss breaks, interrupting my thoughts. Lyra takes my shoulders, pushing me away just slightly, gentle concern written in her eyes. “Hey,” she says softly, seeking my gaze. “Everything okay?”

I nod, averting my eyes to the floor. “Y-yeah, fine,” I croak. I clear my throat, letting my hands drop. “Why’d you, um, why’d you stop?”

Lyra shrugs, moving back against the couch. “Just didn’t seem like you were into it anymore. Which is totally okay, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but--” she swallows hard, her hands sliding down my arms to take my hands. “You can tell me if something’s wrong. If I’m doing something wrong. Okay?”

She squeezes my hands, and I interlace our fingers. “It’s not you, you’re not doing anything wrong,” I reassure, biting my lip. “I’m just, um, nervous.” My shoulders inch up of their own accord, and I move to sit beside Lyra instead of on her lap.

Lyra moves back just slightly, my hand still enclosed in hers. “Okay. Yeah, I totally get it,” she says, nodding slowly. She moves closer to the edge of the couch like she’s about to get up. “Do you need some space? I can step out for a minute, or just go home for the night--”

“No,” I whisper, cutting her off. “I don’t want you to go. I just got, ah, got nervous,” I close my eyes, my lower lip trembling before I can stop it. This is it. This is how I ruin this one good thing. “That it would lead to more than kissing.”

Lyra lets out a small gasp. I press my hands to my face, preparing myself for the blow I know is coming, the thing that would shatter me for good. The I’m breaking up with you, I can’t be with you if you won’t give me the bare minimum.

“Oh, Willow…” Lyra says slowly, softly. “You never have to worry about that with me,” she whispers, and I could cry at the gentleness in her voice, the compassion.

My eyes shoot open, immediately filling with tears when they meet Lyra’s. “Wh-what?” I breathe.

Lyra leans forward, squeezing my hand again. “I’d never even think to do anything like that without asking first. That’s just not how things work. It isn’t going to just lead to that, okay? Not unless we both want it,” she says firmly, her almost-gold eyes boring into mine.

A sharp sob escapes me, and I press my hand to my mouth a second too late. “What if I don’t ever want to do it, though?” I ask, my voice muffled behind my hand.

Lyra turns to face me fully, crossing her legs on the couch and taking my other hand too. “Then we’ll never do it,” she says simply.

I shake my head, forcing the tears down, why the hell am I crying right now? “You’re really okay with that? I don’t-- everyone wants to have s-sex, how…?”

“If you don’t want to have sex,” Lyra starts softly, rubbing her thumbs over my knuckles. “Then I don’t need to have sex. Okay? It’s that simple.” She smiles gently. “I love you for you, Willow, not what you can do for me. I love the way your eyes light up when you see a little animal, how you leave those little poems around the house for me to find, all your compositions… your smile... I see you, love. I never need to have sex if you don’t want it. Hell, we never have to touch if you don’t want. I just want to be with you, as long as you’ll let me.”

Tears run freely down my cheeks, now, as I stare into Lyra’s eyes. Her words make it straight to my heart, making it beat harder and harder, sending intense admiration and pure shock coursing through my veins instead of blood. “Lyra…” I finally breathe, completely lost for words. I shake my head, swiping away the tears on my cheeks.

Lyra smiles, squeezing both my hands for a second before letting go. “It’s okay,” she whispers. “You can take your time.”

I nod, tipping my head against the couch, my eyes still fixed on Lyra. She moves to get up, a small smile still pulling at her lips. “Let’s do something else for now, yeah? There’s this new Disney movie we could watch, Drew says it’s amazing. And I can order some food.”

“Yeah. Sounds great,” I say, smiling back, now.

Lyra stands, turning toward the bedroom. I start to get up, but she holds out a hand. “Stay there, okay? I just need to grab something.” She runs to the bedroom, disappearing behind the doorway, and I let out a sigh.

I was ready, so ready, for tonight to turn into a disaster. For tonight to be the night I lost the one good thing I have, the person I love more than anything. It occurs to me now just how ridiculous that was.

Of course Lyra wasn’t going to break up with me over this. No matter what that little voice in the back of my mind says, she loves me. It’s clear in everything she does for me and around me, every single word and touch and kiss. And… if she was going to break up with me, she’s had plenty of valid reasons to do so before now. And she hasn’t.

Lyra comes back in, two blankets in her arms, her laptop settled precariously on top. She sets it all down on the couch, and passes me one of the blankets-- my favorite soft weighted blanket, along with a big hoodie to change into. I grin at her.

“Christ, Ly, you didn’t have to get all that yourself,” I laugh, pulling the hoodie on and wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, instantly relaxed with the weight.

Lyra shrugs, and quickly pulls on a light blue sweater. “Just want you to be comfortable. It’s no big deal.” She jumps onto the couch beside me, wrapping her own blanket around her shoulders and pulling out her phone. “So. Pizza and garlic knots, or Chinese?”

“The hell kind of question is that?” I joke, nudging her shoulder.

Lyra laughs, already typing in the name to the closest Italian restaurant. “Gotcha. Turn the TV on, we can start the movie while we wait,” she says, scrolling through the menu.

I grab the remote, and as soon as I lean back, Lyra tilts her head against my shoulder. I smirk, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. I press a kiss to her cheek, and she nuzzles closer into my neck, pressing a kiss there as well.

She’s really, really something special.

#ty for the request wish! i hope i answered the right one i didn’t actually look back at the list #nor did i proofread this hope it doesn’t suck #wlw #willow & lyra #wlw ocs #original writing #so yeah willow’s ace #and this was fucking cathartic to write holy sHIT #tw sex mention

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demonsandco · 3 years

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I just saw you don't have anything with Barbatos, this is a crime /j /lh

So could I please request A, C, D, F, K, M, P, V and W from the smut alphabet with him? I know it's a lot, so please feel free to just pick the ones you want to do if it's too much!! I love your writing by the way, thank you for sharing it with us and I hope you have a wonderful day💖

Aaa thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my stuff!! I’m still a little unsure on how I want to portray Barb (considering he has such little screen time smh), but you cannot tell me this man isn’t secretly a slut (affectionate)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

As with everything, Barbatos’ first instinct after sex is to take care of his partner in any way he can. He’ll want to run them a bath, get them something to drink, and if it’s not too late he may even offer to make them a light snack, all the while completely ignoring his own needs. He wants to feel useful and productive, unused to properly relaxing or taking a break. Even if his muscles feel like jelly and his legs tremble with every step, he’ll still focus all his energy on serving them. Luckily, with how exhausted he tends to feel right after sex, it’s not too hard for them to convince him to just cuddle up and rest for once, their encouragement being more than enough to convince him to indulge for once.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

As much as Barb isn’t a fan of messiness, there's something about cumming on his partner that he finds immensely pleasing, being able to claim them in a primal way, without having to worry about lasting marks. He especially loves cumming all over their hands, watching it drip down to their wrists. He has no shame in cleaning it up for them, either, bringing their dirtied hands to his mouth and running his tongue over their palms, diligently sucking each finger clean individually, all while making direct eye contact with a lewd look on his face.

(cont under the cut)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

With how intensely private Barbatos is, the fact that he has an active sex life, or experience in general, could be a dirty secret on it’s own. Many believe that he’s married to his job, and even those that are close to him, rarely hear about the more private partners of his life. It’s not that he purposefully keeps his relationship a secret, but rather he just tends to blend into the background and he hardly ever feels the need to talk about himself. The amount of passion he has in the bedroom is surprising to say the least, considering how he carries himself in public.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Barbatos greatly enjoys stress positions, especially ones that involve restraints. His favorite would have to be kneeling, legs spread with his ankles tied to his thighs and his hands tied behind his back, forcing his spine to arch and leaving him exposed and helpless to his partner’s every whim. He knows that it’s rather out of the ordinary, and he definitely doesn’t expect every night with his partner to involve something like that, but he can’t help but crave the thrill that comes with that position, unable to move and not having to think, only having to hold still and letting them use his body as they wish.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Unsurprisingly, one of Barb's favorite kinks is bondage, either with ropes or delicate ribbons. It’s cathartic in a way, both tying up his partner and being restrained himself. He finds himself drawn to intricate knot patterns especially, enjoying the artistry and skill that comes with it. He could spend hours restraining them in an artful manner without getting tired of it. He’s even more fond of having them do the same to him, knowing that they put time and effort into learning different patterns for him, not being able to do anything but hold still as their hands slide over his body in such an intimate way. Every shift of his muscles or hitch of his breath causes the bonds to bite into his skin, pressing tightly in his most sensitive areas.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Despite having a fairly high libido, it’s actually incredibly difficult to turn Barbatos on without being outright sexual. He has an impressive amount of control, especially when he’s working, and no amount of flirtatious touches or whispered promises are enough to shatter his composure. If his partner really wants to have an effect on him, they need to be bold and direct.

The easiest way to do so is to follow him somewhere private, like an empty hallway or the kitchen, and be physical. Grab his hips and press up against his back, pin him against a wall or counter with their thigh between his legs, or pull him down for a kiss while tugging on his hair. They need to be quick, taking too much time will make him rush back to work and ruin their element of surprise, but the sudden affection is enough to steal his breath and leave him aching for more. Once they’ve managed to break his control, though, they’d better be prepared to not get much sleep that night, because he’ll be eager to follow through with their advances the moment he finishes his work for the day.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Barbatos tends to prefer a slower, passionate pace, every movement calculated and controlled to bring a specific amount of pleasure to his partner. It isn’t often that he has time to spare, so when he does, he wants to savor every moment he gets to spend with them, taking his time with their body and indulging his greedy side. He loves how desperate it makes them, his movements so slow that it’s practically torture, highly pleasurable, but just barely not enough to cum. He’ll drag on the moment for as long as he can, because he knows it’ll be a while before he can do it again.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Barbatos is naturally very quiet, his voice soft and soothing. He doesn’t speak much during sex, and when he does, his words are barely more than a whisper. At first, he’s completely silent, purposefully stifling his noises out of embarrassment, but even when he lets go, he never really gets loud. Most of his noises sound like gasps, and even his rarely heard moans are extremely breathy and desperate, much higher in tone than his regular voice. He has a habit of trying to muffle himself if he feels he’s getting too noisy, hiding his face in bed sheets or pillows and biting into the material, or bringing his hands up to his face to bite his knuckles, attempting to regain control of his voice.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Unlike most demons, Barbatos’ horns are actually very sensitive, to the point where the slightest touch is enough to send shivers down his spine. The little skeletal appendages function more like feelers or antennae, rather than weapons. While he’s distracted, they often move without him realising, shifting with his emotions and acting as an easy way for his partner to tell when he’s really enjoying something.

His tail isn’t anywhere near as sensitive, but it’s certainly a fun addition to the bedroom. He has very precise control of it, being able to move both tips independently with precision. It basically self lubricates, too, having a strange wet, almost gloopy and slippery texture, without ever leaving behind any residue to clean up. He’d be more than happy to use it on his partner, or himself, and show them exactly how skilled he is in controlling its movements.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me barbatos #obey me smut #smut alphabet #lime time

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snippy-tano · 3 years

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hey i really love your writing! i check your blog pretty often, it makes me smile :) since requests are open i was wondering if you’d be down to write something about cody and a reader who has trust issues from a pretty recent past relationship, and getting reader to open up and trust him? LMAO may or may not be cathartic for me rn. Ty <3

First of all, I am so sorry it’s taken me so long to get to this. Things have been weirdly crazy and stressful for me lately and I just haven’t been in the right headspace to tackle any of the asks in my box. But, that being said, I’m determined to get out of my funk and this ask I think was the one to finally do it!

I really hope you like this and it helps you! I know it’s always cathartic for me to write this and I hope it translates and helps you with whatever it is you’re going through.

Just know I’m rooting for you bb. I love you.

Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @mackstrut, & @dissapointingpancake

(Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! You can find it here!)

---------------------------------------------------

Trust

The moment you laid eyes on Marshal Commander Cody, you knew you were in trouble.

With his easy but rare smile, kind eyes, and wicked sense of humor, it was easy to imagine yourself falling for him. Words were easy to find when you were with him and no one else had made you feel so at ease. He never pushed, but was a steady calming presence you had been missing, especially when you were fighting a war.

But your walls were high and sturdy. A lifetime of failed relationships always hung over your head like a curse, darkening every bright light you ever saw. It settled on your shoulders and dragged you down further and further with every passing day.

Ever since your last chance at a relationship ended, things seemed hopeless. They’d broken your trust and faith in a way that shattered your dreams of ever finding someone who would cherish you in mind and body.

After that, it was easier for you to accept you’d never experience what you so desperately wanted to feel.

Things were easier that way. Your fragile heart needed a life to recover and you decided it was easier to see the rest of your years pass you by than to subject yourself to another heartbreak.

But then along came Cody.

It was subtle at first.

In some of the very few moments you caught sight of him without his helmet, you would notice his eyes on you. But he’d always look away just quickly. It happened enough that you noticed and found yourself doing the same, wishing for even the smallest glimpse at the highest ranking clone in the GAR.

Then one day you quite literally bumped into him while leaving a briefing, causing your flimsy cup of awful caf to drop to the floor. The moment his hands gripped your arms to steady you as you stumbled, eyes searching your face for any issues as he apologized.

You didn’t know it at the time, but he’d managed to find a crack in your walls, slipping his fingers inside and slowly working his way inside. It was the start of something you never saw coming.

After a few awkward mutterings from the both of you, he had stepped back, lifting his hands away while his head ducked down. He once again apologized and you returned the sentiment. A quick word from General Kenobi seemingly broke the spell, but before you could retreat back into your comfort zone, Cody offered to make it up to you with a cup of non-GAR issued caf.

Without thinking, you had said yes.

You walked away from him with a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

For the next few weeks, you began to spend more time with him. You did end up getting caf together the next time you were on a short leave on Coruscant and it was easier than you expected. Cody never expected you to have all the answers, but the gentle questions never stopped.

It was effortless to open up to him, to laugh for the first time in a long time at a ridiculous story from before you joined the 212th as a civilian. The way his face had softened and his eyes had sparkled when you laughed was enough to stop your heart from beating.

No one had ever looked at you like that. It made your impossible dream seem a little more possible.

But still it was hard.

You’d been hurt one too many times, one of which was recent enough that you were still recovering. Your past was always not far behind you, chasing you through your days and your nights, refusing to yield. It was exhausting. You were so tired of running, but still you kept going.

Sitting across from Cody in that small diner on Coruscant made you wonder what it would be like to finally stop running from your past, to imagine the life you could have.

From that point on, Cody always made an effort to visit with you or spend more time with you when he had the time. And even when he didn’t have the time, he made sure to make time. You’d lost track of the times he’d dropped by your tiny closet of an office with some smuggled in sweets he’d confiscated from Waxer and Boil on a day you needed it most. It was like he knew when you needed the pick-me-up.

The first time you’d hugged him, you had been convinced he’d been killed.

They’d lost contact with him on a mission and instantly you could feel the panic seizing in your chest. It was hard to breathe and you couldn’t stop the tears from forming in your eyes.

The moment you saw him walking across the tarmac, armor dirty and scuffed, with his helmet tucked under his arm but looking relatively uninjured, you couldn’t stop yourself. You were sprinting across the pavement before you realized what you were doing.

His eyes fixed on you almost instantly and you saw the wave of relief wash across his entire body. His bucket hit the ground seconds before you hit Cody. You threw yourself into his arms and he’d stumbled in surprise, but didn’t let you falter.

You held on with everything you had, burying your face in his neck as you just held him as tightly as you could. Cody had done the same, arms locked around you as his gloved fingers wove snuggly into your hair.

He was fine.

You were fine.

After that, it was like something shifted.

Every chance the both of you had, you were placing a hand on his arm, or his shoulder, or intertwining your pinky with his. Cody seemed to have the same idea because he never left your presence without giving your elbow a squeeze or trailing his fingers along the back of your hand.

The first time the pair of you kissed, it was you who made the first move.

You’d been sitting in a quiet hallway aboard the Negotiator. More confiscated candy sat between the two of you as you looked out at the clear, empty space around you. It was late and nearly everyone was already asleep, but neither of you seemed in any rush to go to bed, so you found a quiet corner and decided to just enjoy each other’s company.

As you looked out into the darkness, you didn’t feel afraid.

Before, you’d always been a little uneasy looking out into space like this. You weren’t sure what it was, but it unnerved you. But as you sat there beside Cody who was more relaxed than you had ever seen him, eating sweets you would have never thought he would like.

That’s when you realized you weren’t as afraid because Cody showed you that you didn’t have to be afraid.

You had turned to him, eyes scanning his face as he looked out, chewing on a piece of candy. The sharp lines of his face had softened and he seemed at peace. Warmth spread through your chest and you could feel the darkness you’d been carrying for years slowly melt away, leaving nothing but a warmness you never wanted to fade.

Cody had noticed your gaze because he turned to you, eyebrows furrowed and concern flashing in his eyes.

It was in that moment that you realized what you’d done without even trying.

You’d fallen for him. And it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done. And it didn’t scare you.

Despite your tendency to overthink and overanalyze things, you found yourself not thinking when you pushed yourself forward, knocking over the bag of candy to press your lips against Cody’s. He made it easy to not think, to just feel.

Cody had seemed surprised at first if his sharp inhale told you anything, but he relaxed almost immediately, his gloveless hands coming up to gently cradle your head.

It wasn’t the first time you’d ever kissed someone before, but it was the first time your stomach flipped and your entire body practically melted. It set every single one of your nerve endings on fire and you had no desire to put them out, in fact, you wanted them to keep burning, stoking the fire for the rest of your life.

It took your breath away.

Which is why you did eventually have to pull away even though you never wanted to ever stop. You opened your eyes, chewing on your lip as you looked at a face you saw every day in a million others, but there was only one you cared about.

There was only one you loved.

Cody’s eyes opened and you were fixed with the most intense stare from the golden eyes you saw the stars in. He let out a soft chuckle when an unrestrained smile broke across his face.

You’d do anything to see that smile over and over again for the rest of your lives.

Trust has always been hard for you.

But with Cody it was easy.

And because it was easy, you stopped worrying and leaned forward again, capturing his lips again as he smiled against you.

You’d never flown higher than when the walls around you came tumbling down. Cody had given you a reason to trust again. To love again.

It would always be an uphill battle for you, but Cody would never let you fall.

Never.

#ask #askBri #commander cody #cody x reader #commander cody x reader #clone x reader #star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #tcw #sw:tcw #star wars imagines #star wars one shots #tcw one shots #tcw imagines #the clone wars imagines #cody/reader #commander cody/reader

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sassysnowperson · 3 years

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writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

#fic talk #about the writer #long post #text post

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kiki-is-writing · 3 years

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the beginning and end of everything UPDATE!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is my original work. I choose to share my work here and here specifically for my comrades in the writing community. Plagiarism in any form will not be tolerated.

HI EVERYONE! I FINISHED MY NOVEL! Whooo hoooo!!!

It’s actually sort of surreal, I started it in June of 2020 and now it’s 2021 and it’s over! Ty, Jude, Ada, Dorothy, and Madison have been living in my head since October 2019, and less than a year and a half later, they’ve been brought to life! Crazy!!

A summary in case you forgot/are seeing this and don’t know who the hell I am:

Ty Kassisieh has no direction. He’s just graduated college with a degree he doesn’t care about and no clue what to do with his life. Per his parent’s request to be more like his genius twin sister Ada, he picks up a job at a local library to save some money. There, he meets his coworker Jude, who’s stuck in a position not too far from his own, and Ty immediately sees the potential for companionship. But after speaking to him, Ty discovers Jude is everything he isn’t: he’s cold, introverted, aloof, and worst of all, humorless. Soon, Ty forgets all about his initial goal and becomes determined to crack Jude and see what makes him tick.

Ty’s journey of self-discovery is uprooted completely as what begins as an investigation blossoms into a friendship, and then into something more. Ty is forced to confront the feelings he’s been pushing down since high school and come to terms with himself, his family, and the relationships he thought would never change. It’s only when he befriends a young library patron, Madison, that he finally begins to see the world for what it is and figures out how to pave his own path.

Here are some stats!

Word count: 65,900 (it’ll get at least 20k words longer)

Genre: Romantic comedy

POV: third person limited, present tense

Characters: Ty, Jude, Ada, Madison, Dorothy, Diane, Omar, Paul, Uncle Hubie, Ethel

Chapters: 15

Font: Times New Roman (sorry)

This was my second novel, but the first novel where I actually knew what I was doing, at least a little bit. And holy shit, I learned SO much about my writing process:

1. I cannot pants for the life of me. I have no idea what I’m doing without an outline. But sometimes, the outline doesn’t know best. I added a ton of subplots and off-the-cuff scenes halfway through that have no set up, gave up on subplots that weren’t working halfway through, it’s a disaster of a plot. BUt the important thing is that I know how to make it perfect. I know what the story needs and how to get that.

2. Why can I only write in bursts? I wrote like seven chapters, half the novel, in the month of July. There was a day where I wrote almost 5,000 words. And last night, I wrote for 6 hours straight, without eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom (because frankly, I forgot those things existed) and I cranked out a chapter and a half in a DAY. I had such a headache and was very hungry by the end, but it was SO REWARDING.

3. I noticed while drafting is how often bits of my real life bled through. Little anecdotes, arguments, dynamics and experiences. Those who know me particularly well can probably pick out little allusions to either some of my past works, my friends, and myself.

It was 1:00 AM when I finished, and I live on the east coast of the U.S. so we’d just had a huge Nor’easter (New England for blizzard) and I went outside in the middle of the night, in my pajama pants and my uggs, and stood in my backyard and looked at the trees and processed the fact that wow, I just wrote a novel. It was cathartic and beautiful and I 110% recommend standing in snow up to your knees by yourself in the middle of the night. Very peaceful.

As exciting as it is to be done, it’s kind of weird to be ending it. I started this novel from Ty’s first person POV, and he was just kind of another goofy, dorky character that shared my own sense of humor as well as my sense of perfectionism. But as I wrote, not only did I realize that third person worked so much better, but I started realizing how much of me and my own journey as a queer person had gone into this. It turned from a light-hearted, silly rom-com with little depth, a fun summer project to keep myself busy, to the most self expressive story I’ve ever written. I didn’t expect it to come out with much deeper meaning, it was summer and I was on a light-hearted rom-com kick, and life was carefree and silly and I wanted a book that reflected it. And then, school started, and life just descended into absolute chaos, and it was November, and it was NaNoWriMo, and I was writing my novel while watching CNN for a week straight. (But it all turned out great! New president!)

I can’t remember exactly when I started to incorporate my own struggles growing up as a queer kid, but somehow they bled through in the second half. The last scene of the book is (no spoilers) an incredible breath of fresh air for Ty. It’s something I can only wish for every queer teenager, that moment where you can finally be unapologetically and authentically queer without that nagging worry in the back of your mind. I’ve struggled over this past year with my identity, and as Ty found his place, I found mine as well.

Seriously, writing this book was one of the best experiences I’ve had. Yes, the entire time I had a separate document open, writing down every little thing that needs to change, but I legitimately feel excited for draft 2 and continuing working on this project. I think about how much this book helped me, unconsciously creating the story that I needed to hear, and how maybe, in ten, fifteen years, some queer teenager will be wandering around a bookstore and pick up The Beginning and End of Everything. Maybe just because the cover is pretty. Maybe they like the F. Scott Fitzgerald reference in the title. Maybe they heard about it on Twitter somewhere. But they pick it up, and see themselves in Ty, or in Jude, or in Madison. I know every book that gave me that feeling, I cherish them so deeply, and all I really want is for someone to get that feeling from something I wrote. To see themselves in the pages and know they’re not alone. It’s cheesy, but it’s true, and it’s important.

I think one of my favorite themes in the novel is the whole ‘someone’s got your back’ thing. I 100% did not mean for it to go in the way it did, but I was writing this as I was going through some Stuff, some stuff in which I realized that having someone, just one person in your corner can mean the entire world, if only for that moment. And if there’s no one in your corner when you need it, you can be in someone else’s when they need it. Frankly, I love how it plays out throughout the novel. There was always that theme of Ty and Madison sort of being there for each other, but as I found myself in the first semester of the school year building new friendships with incredible, smart, funny people (albeit most of that being online) and strengthening old bonds, it worked its way in, and it fits perfectly. It adds depth and strength to the story I couldn’t have done consciously.

Essentially, it is still the romantic comedy I intended it to be, but it’s also a coming-of-age (except much older than the traditional coming-of-age). Watching some of my close friends and family graduating college and continuing to struggle with their identities and places in the world I think is what truly carved out this idea. Because not everyone has everything figured out as soon as they graduate, and I feel like, as a teenager, that’s something my friends and I really need to get through our heads. A lot of us expect to have everything figured out as soon as we turn 18. But, we’re 18. There’s a lot of life ahead of us, and we can’t possibly know what we’re going to do so young. So I think that was my main source of inspiration for this novel, and I’m really proud of the way that fleshed out. Of course it needs lots and lots of work, but. I like it. The way my personal life bled through and strengthened the story is incredible to reflect on. Honestly, I really, truly, cannot wait to start working on draft 2.

taglist:

@alicewestwater @august-iswriting @lottieiswriting @phiwrites @jennawritesstories @chloeswords

#the beginning and end of everything #teenwriter #am writing #my writing #my novel #writblr #writeblr #writing update #teen writer #young writer #writingupdate #writer problems #writerscommunity #writing #drafting #nanowrimo #losenanowrimo2020 #camp nanowrimo

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jihyuncompass · 4 years

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The Best

This is honestly probably my favorite thing I’ve written so far. There’s a little bit of angst at the end, but it’s not much, I promise.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and remember to wear a mask!

Mysme Week 2020 Day Five ( @mysmeweek2020 )

Quarantine

V/Jihyun Kim x MC

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: You and Jihyun do the best you can, for the world and each other.

Tying the ends of your mask you made certain that it was properly tightened. It was easy for it to slip down your nose if it wasn’t right so you had to be sure. Pulling on it just a little you deemed it tight enough for your face. Checking the time on your phone a rush of panic went through you. Even though you had carefully planned out how much time you would need to get ready you were already running late.

Leaving the bathroom you went on a quest to find your boyfriend, hopefully he had been more aware of the time than you had been and was ready to head out the door. You called out his name a couple times, to no response. With a groan you went about the apartment opening doors.

You found Jihyun in the small home office the two of you shared. It had originally been a storage room and a place where Jihyun would work on paintings if he couldn’t go to his studio for whatever reason. However, after Quarantine went into place and you started working from home you both decided to convert it into a workspace for you.

Jihyun stood in front of a canvas, the end of his paintbrush touching his chin. He looked to be deep in thought and concentration. He also was wearing a pair of earbuds that made it impossible to hear out of. It was no wonder he couldn’t hear you calling his name. In an attempt not to make him make a mistake on his canvas you started flailing your arms to get his attention. You must have looked silly because when Jihyun finally noticed you he started laughing.

Pulling the earbuds out of his ears he stopped his laughter to speak to you. “Are you alright my love?” You tried to ignore the way his laughter still gave you butterflies.

“I was trying to get you attention, you can’t hear anything with those in.” You explained. A tinge of red went to the tips of Jihyun’s ears.

“Ah.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry.” After setting down his paintbrush he rubbed the back of his neck. Looking at him you could assume he also hadn’t been paying attention to the time.

“Jihyun do you know what time it is?” He had a moment of confusion and looked to your computer where he could see the time. Now the red had also spread to his cheeks as he realized just how much time has passed.

“I must have lost track of time.” He muttered, mostly to himself, pulling off his painting smock; he wiped his hands off on a spare towel he kept next to his paint pallet. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go.” Stepping aside to let him leave the room he made a beeline for the bathroom.

While you waited you checked on everything you needed to take with the two of you. You both tried to avoid going out as much as possible but today you had a few places you needed to go.

Before everything went into lockdown the RFA had started meeting in person once a month. Partially as a way to get everyone together but also to be able to go over party plans together. Since you were instated as the party coordinator and Jihyun returned to his position as the leader and Representative the group decided it would be a good idea to branch out and expand. Hosting more events and more often. As great as this was for your organization it also meant more meetings would need to be held to go over details.

After lockdown began you all decided to do virtual meetings instead. It was rocky at first, Zen had to use his phone since his computer was ancient, and no matter how hard Jumin tried he could never get his webcam to work properly. The Choi twins and Yoosung were really the only members who knew what they were doing.

During the virtual meeting a week prior you all ended up going on a tangent about the current goings on in the world. Zen vented about how he wasn’t able to work, and how Jaehee’s cafe was struggling, the twins both tended to be homebodies anyway but it wasn’t hard to see how much Saeran was struggling with his mental health, and Jumin and Yoosung just seemed rather lonely stuck at home. While the meeting had been cathartic for all of you it planted a seed in your head, a seed that you and Jihyun spent the past week growing.

Together the two of you created care packages for every member of the RFA, each one personalized for its recipient. There were homemade treats and snacks, a personalized mask that Jihyun made, handwritten cards, and small trinkets. Skincare masks for Zen, a Steam gift card for Yoosung, a matcha tea set for Jaehee, a book and homemade cat treats for Jumin, a long cat pillow for Saeyoung, and a cookbook and aloe vera plant for Saeran. The two of you even put together a package for Vanderwood, which you would give to Saeyoung to pass on. Even if it wasn’t much you both thought it might be a nice way to cheer up your friends and let them know you were thinking of them. After finishing putting them together last night you both agreed to take them today.

Jihyun met you in the living room wearing fresh clothes, his face mask was one he made himself, a white cotton fabric with a cactus pattern. “Ready to go?” Jihyun asked.

“Sure am, you take half and I’ll take half?” He agreed and you both grabbed your share of packages, balancing them in your arms as you both made your way to the front door.

Earlier in the day you both mapped out the best route to take the packages in. Everyone lived pretty scattered about so you planned it strategically. The twins lived the farthest away so you wanted to go there first, then to Jaehee who would be at the cafe doing takeout orders. Then to Zen and Yoosung who actually lived fairly close to each other, and finally to Jumin who lived in the heart of the city.

You texted Saeyoung once you were about twenty minutes away from their place. After reuniting with his brother, the two had decided to move into a different place that was less of a doomsday bunker. The place was still pretty much a fortress but it also had windows to let in natural light, and space for Saeran to grow a garden.

Approaching the door slowly you used the code phrase Saeyoung gave you to let you knock on the door. You may have cursed a little at having to memorize the Arabic phrase but thankfully the system didn’t seem to care that you butchered the pronunciation.

Setting down the free packages you both kept a safe distance from the door. Saeran answered the door wearing a black face mask. Saeran you knew had a particularly weak immune system so both of the twins were completely stuck at home. You couldn’t read his expression too well but considering the raise in his eyebrows he seemed happy to see you both.

“Our parents are here!” Saeyoung shouted once he got to the front door. Calling the two of you his parents began as a joke that had sort of evolved into a habit. It annoyed the hell out of Saeran and made you and Jihyun laugh.

“We thought you guys could use some care packages.” You said. “There’s one for each of you.” You could see both of their eyes light up as they picked up the boxes and looked inside.

Saeyoung looked up first. “This is so awesome!” He pulled out the long cat pillow and held it close to his chest, practically bouncing on his feet. Saeran held his little plant in his hand.

“Thank you.” Saeran said, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t one for many words but you could tell he was happy.

“That third one is for Vanderwood.” Jihyun said. “We don’t know where they live so could you pass it on?” Saeyoung looked down at the last package.

“I’ll make sure it goes through the God 707 Postal Service to one Mary Vanderwood III.” Saeyoung loudly joked. Jihyun looked at Saeran who was rolling his eyes.

“Saeran?”

“I’ll make sure it gets to them.” Saeran answered.

After catching up for a moment you and Jihyun said your goodbyes and got back in the car to your next destination.

You stopped inside Jaehee’s cafe, it was a little strange seeing the chairs stacked on the tables and the marks on the floor to indicate six feet of distance. You couldn't stay long but she greeted you warmly. After opening up her package she thanked you for the treats and for the matcha kit.

“I’ve been considering getting one of these for myself. Thank you both.” Jaehee said, you saw her place the kit next to the coffee grinder Zen gave her before she opened her cafe. She sent you off with two coffees and pastries for the both of you. She had offered it as a gift but the two of you had insisted on paying it yourself.

Zen was next, he had been hit particularly hard by the lockdown. With all of the shows cancelled he had lost almost all his work. To try and make up for some of the lost work Saeyoung had helped set up a way for him to do livestreams. It wasn’t much but it helped Zen’s confidence and made up for some of the lost income.

He gave a big wave to the two of you. You and Jihyun sat at the top of the steps that lead down to Zen’s basement apartment. Zen looked up to you both while he opened up his box. The snacks in his box were more healthy than the other boxes on purpose. He seemed to notice this when he thanked you.

The three of you spent some time talking and catching up. Zen talked about the livestreams he’d been doing. He started taking song requests where people could pay him to sing whatever they wanted. You and Jihyun had both watched whenever you had the time (and maybe requested a few songs for fun). He asked you and Jihyun about your lives and careers. You were still able to work and Jihyun was still able to paint, he had even started selling more of his works to support the two of you and to donate to good causes. In truth you had never seen him more determined and motivated.

Yoosung was next, all his classes were online now which was quite the struggle for him. It was hard to think about doing coursework when LOLOL was right there. His studio apartment was also tiny which you knew made the lockdown worse.

His relationship with Jihyun was still fairly rough. Still it was a thousand times better than it had been in the past. He seemed genuinely happy to see the two of you, but even happier to see the package that you brought for him. His package had a lot more essential items mixed in with the treats.

Again you could only stay for a few minutes, but you talked about his classes and how he was doing. You could see how he was deflecting from talking too much about school but you both encouraged him to do his best and offered any help you could provide.

Jumin was the last person on your list. You both kept in good contact with him, he didn’t say it but the both of you worried about him. He had Elizabeth the 3rd to keep him company but it wasn’t enough. The penthouse was a big and lonely place when Jumin was alone like this.

The two of you also prepared some extra treats for the security guards at Jumin’s penthouse. While he had less staff than before he still had a couple that worked for him. The security thanked you graciously and let you into Jumin’s penthouse.

Keeping a safe distance Jumin seemed very happy to see the two of you. Jumin, kind of like Saeran wasn’t one to show a lot of outward emotion but you could see a spark in his eyes that made him look more content.

The cat treats were hit. Considering the way to Jumin’s heart was through his cat, seeing Elizabeth the 3rd pleased was more than enough for him. He also loved the cat paw print face mask that Jihyun made special for him.

Considering it wasn’t a safe idea to share a bottle of wine, Jumin settled for giving you a bottle to have at home. With the bottle you also made a promise to video chat soon and drink together. The two of you spent more time with Jumin than you did with any of the others. And leaving Jumin’s was by far the hardest, Jihyun dragged his feet with leaving, coming up with more conversation topics to keep you both there, to spend a little more time with his best friend. By the time you actually left there were tears you saw welling in Jihyun’s eyes. Heading back to the car you held his hand to comfort him.

“Are you okay my love?” You asked him standing beside Jihyun’s car, he took a deep breath in and wiped his eyes. It was muffled by the mask but you heard a sniffle come from him. Before he could answer your question you brought him into a tight hug, one hand was rubbing his back and the other running through his hair.

“I think so.” Jihyun said. “I’m sorry for getting so emotional.”

“There’s no need to apologize Jihyun, the RFA is our family and it’s hard not being able to be around them. There’s no shame in being sad about it.” Jihyun let out a shaky sigh. You held each other for a little longer before letting each other go. Though you couldn’t see through the mask by the look in his eyes you could tell he was smiling.

“Thank you my love, I don’t know what I would do without you.” He said holding your hands in his. “It’s probably time for us to get to the community center right?” You checked the time and nodded. You spent more time with your friends than you planned so you needed to hurry.

At the start of the lockdown the two of you both struggled with feeling helpless about what was going on. It was overwhelming seeing the news and feeling like there was nothing you could do. Trying to find something to do to fill your time the two of you started volunteering at the nearby community center, serving meals and giving supplies to those who were struggling to keep afloat. It was only a few hours a week but it helped the both of you with feeling just the tiniest bit better.

After signing in as volunteers and getting your temperature taken, the two of you put gloves onto your hands and got to work. Today you were both assigned to fill and hand out cups of hot soup to those who came for a hot meal.

Working together the time seemed to go fast, you greeted each person with a smile, making small talk with some of those who came by. After a few weeks you started to recognize some of the people who came frequently being able to greet them by name.

One of the regulars, Ji-young approached the two of you with a wave, she was an older woman who you had grown pretty fond of. And she seemed to be pretty fond of the two of you.

“Hi Ji-young, how are you doing this evening?” You asked her.

“Getting by, you know how it is.” She shrugged.

“I do know, Do you want some soup?” You motioned to the pot on the hot plate next to you.

“Always. Thank you dear.” You pulled out a cup and used a ladle to pour the soup in, taking care not to drip or spill. Adding a lid to the top of the cup Jihyun tapped your shoulder.

“The pots are almost empty, I’ll be right back with some more.” You nodded and watched him head to the back of the center. Turning back to Ji-young she was watching him walk away.

“You know I’ve been coming here for the past few weeks and I just keep thinking about how cute the two of you are together. I miss being that young and in love.” Watching her Ji-young had this look of nostalgia in her eye. You could feel a blush in your cheeks where your mask covered your face.

“Thank you, Jihyun’s one of the good ones.” You smiled, it didn’t matter how much time you spent together talking about Jihyun still made you smile and blush like a middle schooler with a crush.

“Well, he’s got a good person by his side. You two are lucky to have each other.”

“That’s very kind, thank you.” You said.

Jihyun returned with a big pot held with two oven mitts. You removed the empty pot from the hot plate so Jihyun could put the fresh one on.

“Did I interrupt something here?” Jihyun asked, he seemed to notice the blush that was probably visible on your ears.

“Nothing much dear, just talking about you.” Ji-young teased. Jihyun looked over to you with his brow raised.

“All good I promise.” You said, waving him off with a wink. Now the both of you were flushed behind your masks. Smiling, you said goodbye to Ji-young so you could fill more cups.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur, you hadn’t even realized how tired you were until you both got back to the car and you sunk into the seat.

“Home?” Jihyun asked.

“Home.” You confirmed. Closing your eyes to get a little bit of rest on the way home.

The first thing the two of you did when you closed the door to your apartment was take off your masks taking in a fresh breath of air. Going to the living room, you collapsed onto the couch and turned on the TV while Jihyun went to take a shower.

The first thing on the TV was the news, too tired to try and change it you just let it play. As much as you tried not to pay too much attention to the newscaster it was hard to ignore. The newscasters listed endless numbers of new cases and deaths, and played frustrating interviews with politicians who gave no good answers, doctors who were begging people to be safe, and of course the people who claimed that the doctors were lying.

Listening was overwhelming but you couldn’t force yourself to stop. Shouldn’t you know what’s going on? You should be paying attention to the news, but it all just felt.

Too much.

“Love?” Jihyun stood in front of the bathroom door, his hair was still dripping from his shower. He approached you slowly, looking at the TV. Realizing what was going on he took the remote and shut it off leaving you both in silence.

“I hate this Jihyun.” You said staring at your shaking hands. Jihyun kneeled down to look you in the eye and took one of your hands in his.

“I know.” He said, his voice coming out just above a whisper.

“I miss the RFA, I miss going out, I miss the RFA parties, I miss travelling.” You said, your voice breaking. “I miss everything.”

Jihyun squeezed the hand he was holding and with his other he wiped away the tears slipping out. “I miss all those things too, but this isn’t forever. We’ll be able to do all those things again, but I know it’s hard right now.”

“I wish I could do more, I feel so powerless.” Sobs racked your chest, you could barely see Jihyun through your teary eyes.

“You’re doing more than enough my love.” He moved up and wrapped his arms around you holding you tight. You clung to him trying to stop your hands from shaking. “I know how easy it is to put the weight of the world on your shoulders and think you have to fix it all.” He held you tighter, his own voice breaking. “I used to think that I had to fix everything by myself, even the things I had no control over.” Slowly he leaned back so he could look you in the eyes, his thumbs brushing tears away. “But then, like an unexpected miracle from heaven, you came into my life. You taught me that I don’t have to fix everything and that I don’t have to carry my burdens alone.” He kissed your forehead, then moved back to look at you.

“Jihyun.” You whispered.

“The truth is, this isn’t something you can fix by yourself. This isn’t something any of us can fix on our own.” Jihyun said.

“Then what do we do?” You asked him. He leaned forward and enveloped you in a warm and gentle kiss. He pressed his forehead against yours. Whispering his next words.

“We do the best we can.” You brought him into another hug. You felt yourself grow calm, now just tired, your eyelids were growing heavy.

“I love you Jihyun. Thank you.” He rubbed your back turning his head to press a kiss to your temple.

“I love you too. Why don’t we get you cleaned up and go to bed? We’ve had a busy day.” Still holding him, you nodded and let him lead you to the bathroom, holding his hand tight.

A week later you went to get your mail. Finding five packages waiting for you and Jihyun. Thank you cards, and care packages from your fellow RFA members. A smile crossed your face as you carried them all up to your apartment to open with your boyfriend.

You, Jihyun and the rest of the RFA keep going forward. Jihyun worked with some of his fellow artists and old photography friends to do a virtual charity art show with the proceeds going to research. You and the rest of the RFA plan a socially distant RFA charity drive for those in need, partnering with C&R to gain more attention.

You all take it day to day, one step at a time, and together,

You do the best you can.

#mysmeweek2020 #mystic messenger #mysme #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #mysme v #v #jihyun x reader #jihyun x mc #v x mc #v x reader

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national-nobody-writes · 3 years

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2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

I was tagged by the oh so talented @irolltwenties!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I’m not a particularly prolific writer (WIPs for days, but completed projects? Not so much). Somehow in this hell year though, I did manage to complete more fics than in any previous year for a total of seven new works (~49k words, all on ao3), plus a chunky chap of a long running WIP (~20k words) so I’m actually pretty damn proud of myself! I also made some new fandom friends in 2020 which has easily been one of the biggest delights of the year & has definitely helped my creative momentum, so ty all for that. <3

Counting down from 5, here are my favs:

5. Downtime

I have endless love for JayRoy and it felt so good to finally finish something for them for once this year! All of my past WIPs primarily focused on them ended up firmly in my graveyard folder, including the fic that this one shot was originally meant to be connected to. I liked the way this turned out well enough to clean it up and post it on its own though, so at least now I can say that I have something published for them at last.

(Also it got me back into the JayRoy headspace enough to outline a whole YJ/Earth16 JayRoy fic that I’m excited to start drafting in 2021, so we’ll see where that goes...)

2.3k NSFW; A mix of playful sweet and roughness, just like them.

4. Mirror Image

Bluepulse Week really saved me this year in terms of forcing me to just write, damn it! Did I finish all the prompts this year? Nope. Did it get me to complete a handful of fics that I ended up really loving? Yes. This was one of them.

This fic zoomed into existence entirely out of necessity as an alt idea to a prompt that I had a much longer idea for, but didn’t have time to complete. It then got a positive enough reception that I decided to turn it from a crack-adjacent, passable one-shot to a slightly more developed two-shot by request of one of my commenters. Really, it was writing that second chapter that ended up endearing the fic to me.

6.3k Humor, time travel shenanigans & accidental dating. This fic is the sweetness of teenage crushes, the confusing mess of discovering your sexuality, & laughter with your best friend.

3. Soft Wesper One Shots

Would you look at that, another nsfw piece. Could it be that I’m starting to get to the point where I can look back at completed nsfw fics without cringing terribly? Love that for me.

This fic took me by surprise, tbh. I wouldn’t consider myself a part of the grisaverse fandom (I’m utterly ambivalent toward the OG trilogy & have no plans to read them), but I did fall deeply in love with the whole Six of Crows gang earlier this year to the point of having quite the book hangover afterward, unable to pick up anything else except related fanfic for a couple weeks straight. These fluffy, nsfw scenes were born out of that, and I was pleasantly surprised to see such a positive response to them in the comments. The whole SoC gang has my heart, but the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan in particular got my writing fingers itching.

3.7k Domestic, post-canon fluff & tender sex with flirty Jesper & blushing Wylan abound.

2. Stick With Me

Ohh, I still get warm fuzzies thinking about this fic! If I’m only low-key proud of the first three on this list, this is one I’m legitimately very proud of. I had this idea on the docket already from a convo with @ivyxwrites early this year (or maybe last year? who knows, time means nothing anymore) but used Bluepulse Week as the excuse to finally get started, and I ended up adoring the process of writing it far more than I anticipated.

As much as I love planning out meticulously crafted, plotty stories, sometimes all you want to do is pick some well-loved tropes out of a hat instead and run with them (in this case: stuck in a cabin, only one bed, & heated argument leading to confession). It was freeing to just mess around and have fun with this fic, knowing pretty much right from the get-go how I wanted it to unfold and seeing it so vividly in my mind. It also probably helped that I was writing it for Ivy; it’s much easier for me to stay motivated when creating directly for my friends.

Finishing this was also such a serotonin-filled burst of pure victory for me since, as previously stated, I’m terrible at finishing projects--particularly multi-chap fics, particularly within a decent timeframe.

25.5k A showcase of the essence of what I love about the best friends-to-lovers dynamic. Part character study, part wires getting crossed & uncrossed, and whole idiots to lovers. This fic is the warmth in the pit of your stomach from a yearning made real & the sudden clarity of realizing what you were looking for had already been there all along.

1. The Rest Pt 1: Delicate (Remember Me Chap 4)

Oh, Remember Me. Of everything I’ve ever written, this story remains the one I’m most proud of and certainly the closest to my heart (not to mention the longest running, whoops). The first iteration of the beginning of this story was actually drafted back in 2017, but I walked away from it for a couple of years before deciding to dust it off and try again. It has spiraled into something far bigger in scope than I originally planned for, but I’ve come to love the path it’s led me down so far, and finishing this whopping 20k chunkster of a chapter was like breathing a huge (if temporary) sigh of relief.

This chap was particularly cathartic to write because it allowed for a number of convos between the boys that had really needed to happen, and was finally the ‘getting together’ moment the fic had been building toward for a while. It’s also so sappy I could die, but I will not be apologizing for that, lol. I was really hoping to get Chap 5 up this year as well, but y’know. Sometimes things just don’t work out like you plan for and that’s okay.

Chap 5 does have 17k done already (with prob another 5-8k still to go) & I’m itching to share it, but no sense in rushing if the end result would suffer for it. Luckily, everyone in comments has been kind enough to beat me over the head with ‘take your time, we don’t mind/we’ll still be here!!!’ which I’m immensely grateful for. So, at least the pressure to hurry up and get it done is purely self-inflicted.

Of all my works, this fic has not only gotten the most passionate responses, but has also been the main gateway for me to interact with other bluepulse creators, which has been a real joy. Nothing brightens my day like the essays people leave me over there from time to time after discovering the fic. That kind of engagement is the highest praise, & responding is very self indulgent fun for me (bc, clearly, I could go on and on about this fic & YJ in general forever).

54.8k total so far (WIP). Bart & Jaime’s relationship journey from beginning to ‘current day’ (aka the moment the fic begins), using amnesia/memory restoration as a framing device. The high highs and low lows of first love, navigating a 3 yr age difference, and the long, winding road from best friends to lovers as the years roll on. Slow-burn-adjacent (in terms of both the boys’ relationship to each other and reader’s relationship to the fic bc of how long I take between goddamn updates).

Tagging @ivyxwrites, @incorrectbatfam, @paintingwithdarkness, @bluepulsebluepulse

#writing #fanfic #dc #young justice #bluepulse #jayroy #wesper

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tessisawriter · 4 years

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My North Star (Tyson Barrie)

Request: 2. “You’re still the same guy I fell in love with” with Tyson Barrie

A/N: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” (link here). I didn’t realize how much I needed to write something like this until I finished it; it was cathartic and I hope you all find it comforting, too.

Warnings: Four swear words, anxiety, mentions of sexism in the workplace

Word Count: 1.2k

You were sitting on the bed watching Netflix and trying to unwind from a rough day when you heard the door open.

“Y/N?” your boyfriend, Tyson called.

You jumped off the bed and flat-out ran through the hallway separating the bedroom from the living room. Tyson was putting his bag down when you tackled him in a massive hug, throwing your arms around his neck and nearly knocking him over.

“Whoa, there, that’s quite the welcome!” Tyson said, laughter ringing in his voice. “You seriously don’t know your own strength.”

“Fuck, I missed you so much, Ty,” you murmured into his neck, holding him tighter.

You felt the tension creep into his body before he pulled away to look at your face, although he still kept his hands on your waist. “Babe, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You were about to respond that you were fine, but tears streamed down your cheeks instead.

“Babe, seriously, what’s going on?” As Tyson’s brown eyes scanned your face, his eyebrows knit together, which always happened when moderate worry turned into serious concern. “Did something happen at work today?”

“No. Well, not one incident in particular,” you said through sniffles. “It was just one thing after another. My boss totally shot down my branding idea in front of everyone at the meeting today—it was so fucking humiliating—then I had to deal with a shit ton of paperwork for one of the apartment closings, and it was just…” You finally took a deep breath after talking a million miles an hour. “It was such an overwhelming day.”

Tyson’s eyes had darkened at the mention of your boss, but now his tone matched them. “I’ve said it before and I will say it again: Smith is an ass.”

“Yeah, but what can I do about it? He’s so entrenched in the real estate group.” You hated sounding so defeated, but that was how you felt.

“All right, why don’t I make you a cup of tea and we can talk about it?” Tyson suggested.

“Okay.”

Tyson kept one arm around you as he led you into the kitchen, and he only let go when you were ensconced on one of the bar stools. He handed you the tissue box and you tried to smile at him gratefully, but it looked more like a grimace.

“Do you have a headache?” he asked after you blew your nose.

“Yeah, it’s from all the crying.”

“Let me go get your nose drops, I’ll be right back.”

He walked out of the kitchen and returned within 30 seconds with your drops in his hand. “Here you go, sweetheart.” He handed you the drops and kissed your forehead.

“Thanks, babe.” You managed a real smile this time; it wasn’t big, but it was something.

You watched as Tyson pulled out your favorite mug and put some water in it before placing the mug in the microwave. While the water heated up, he pulled a peppermint tea bag out of the cabinet. This was one of the things you loved most about your boyfriend of nearly three years: he went about things in such a calm manner that you couldn’t help but relax, no matter how shitty you felt. He made you feel grounded.

The microwave started beeping and Tyson took the mug out, making sure to grab the handle and not the mug itself. Early on in your relationship, he burned himself on a hot mug when he went to take it out of the microwave and screamed so loud you thought something had caught fire. Tyson had been extra careful not to have a repeat ever since.

Tyson handed you your mug. “Here’s your tea.”

“Thank you, Ty.” You took a sip and let out a satisfied sigh; you instantly started to feel better.

“Did that hit the spot?” He smiled for the first time since he realized you were upset.

“Yeah,” you replied, inhaling deeply as you took a few more sips of tea. The knots in your stomach began to untangle and settle down.

“So what exactly happened at the meeting with Smith?”

You dreaded talking about it, but you knew letting it out was the only way you’d truly feel better. “So you know how we have our group meetings twice a week?” Tyson nodded. “Well, management said we have to do a better job of branding our real estate group, so Smith opened the floor to suggestions. I had a really good one about overhauling our social media accounts, and everyone else at the table seemed to agree, but Smith called it ‘asinine’ and asked for any ‘serious’ suggestions. You know, he wouldn’t dare behave like that if I were a man. He fawns all over Jason even though he’s the most incompetent agent in the entire group.”

Tyson’s eyes darkened again before he visibly schooled them to take on a softer tone. “Y/N, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you need to look for another job.”

“But where? I’ll never be able to get a reference from Smith. Not that I really want one from him, anyway, but it’ll make me look bad if I don’t have one.” You sigh in frustration. “This job was supposed to be a way to climb the ladder. Now I feel like I’m at square one.”

“Can’t you have your ex-boss from Denver and the managers here write letters for you? Didn’t you say the managers praised your work ethic and success at the monthly meeting last week?”

“You know, that’s actually a really good idea.” It was true: you hadn’t thought about contacting your old boss from Denver. It wasn’t like you worked for her years ago; you only left six months ago after Tyson was traded to the Maple Leafs. A letter from her and the managers at your current group would be enough to compensate for the lack of a reference from Smith.

You felt the weight that had been on your shoulders for the past six months lift as you said, “I’ll hand in my resignation tomorrow morning. Thank you, Ty, for giving me the courage to leave. My anxiety would’ve kept me stuck there, but you’re like my north star, guiding me through my worst times. You’ve always been that, you know, but people tend to change. I’m just thankful you’re still the same guy I fell in love with.”

His face lit up like a Christmas tree when you said he was your ‘north star.’ “You’re welcome, Y/N. I’m just glad I could help—you already look so much less burdened.”

“All thanks to you.” You leaned in and kissed Tyson, threading your fingers through his curls. You wanted to stay in that bubble of happiness forever, but you yawned.

Tyson chuckled. “Tired, are we?”

You giggled. “Yeah, I’m ready for sleep.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

Not even ten minutes later, you were out like a light in Tyson’s arms.

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border-spam · 4 years

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Troy Calypso’s very nice good time

Accidentally wrote a 6.5k comfort fic with actual nice sibling moment mentions because that’s what they deserved.

( Thank you so much @lazulizard and @artisthicc-nikyri for the feedback and motivation on the initial draft that was 2k that pushed it into this nonsense )

The pile of furs and blankets on the huge bed shifted slowly, messy black hair beginning to peak out from underneath, complete silence of the inky Pandoran night broken by a stuttering yawn as the God King shifted his head out from under the covers enough to nuzzle his face into a pillow.

“Mmmm… You’re a damn genius Troy-boy..”, he muffled sleepily as he breathed into it. The heavy fur blankets were still pulled mostly over his head, and the plush down cushions he usually slept with were comfortably pressed along his bare body under the warm weight. Bliss.

Spending the bit of extra time before going to sleep to fully remove his bracer?

Worth every second of effort.

It was still pitch black out and the middle of the night, but that was fine. He loved the deep night on Pandora, and that was the best few hours sleep he’d had in months. Tyreen should go off world without him more often… He made a mental note to off handedly congratulate her on a job well done when she got back from this merger trip, maybe he could have few more of these in the future.

Reaching up to gently scratch at the uncovered neuro-port at the base of his skull, he inhaled deeply into the cushy warmth of the pillow, enjoying how loose his normally stiff joints felt, feeling a grin creep across his face.

Fresh laundered sheets. He loved that smell, and it was alllll his tonight, unlike the times there would be that nasty lingering odor of whatever faceless COV fanatic he’d slaked his baser urges with beforehand, all sour and grimy.

His ship, Sanctum, was fully tailored to his tastes and needs, and the custom made bed had been a galaxy-brain move he congratulated himself on. Big enough that he could sleep comfortably without having to curl up to fit his massive 6"7 height onto the mattress like he had always had to do with regular beds, and being able to stretch out lengthwise like this? That was the kind of luxurious shit a God deserved, even if the God in question currently had an atrocious case of bed hair and yesterday’s eyeliner smudged down his cheeks.

No Ty meant no live appearances today. No live appearances meant being able to queue today’s Let’s Flays and Sermon uploads last night, automate his outgoing reports and mark himself on “Holy Respite” on the clergy’s internal echo network.

There would be no high priests organising meetings with him, no sacrifices or tithes to attend, no data to compile or reports to work on, it was all taken care of already. The only light in the room was the slow red pulse his arm’s custom built charging dock integrated in the wall opposite the bed gave off, and he let his eyes adjust to it, enjoying the complete quiet of the Pandoran night bar the gentle whirs and thunks of his homemade fleet of service junkbots running their chores outside his bedroom door.

Just him, his pajamas, gross food, and whatever the hell he wanted to do today. Or this morning. Or.. night? Whatever. Didn’t matter.

He turned onto his back and stretched languidly, pushing the furs down his torso and savoring how free his bare right side felt without the grounding weight of the bracer. A pleasant shiver crept up his spine as he ran his palm down the goosebumped skin of his lower ribs and stomach before letting it rest on the jut of his left hip, smiling to himself as he puffed a breath into the thick black hair that had fallen over his eyes.

It was gonna be awesome.

Shimmying his legs to the side of the bed, he swung them over the edge, then slowly sat up, yawning so wide he felt both cheek clips click as the face mods they held together strained to split open, letting his eyes adjust to the additional slight glow of light the red markings running down his left thigh and calf added. The ship’s auto temperature system kept the dark comfort of his bedroom cool during the night the way he liked, but you got cold quick in it. Judging the distance between where he sat and the doorway in the opposite corner of the quarters that led into the washroom, he rubbed at his eyes and lifted the top fur covering of the bed over his back and head like a shroud, wrapping it around his naked body as he stood up out of the warm blankets.

As soon as he rose, the room sensors automatically lit the paper lantern lights that crisscrossed the low ceiling on long trailing ropes, keeping them dimmed to fill the shadowy darkness of the room with pools of cosy multicoloured light.

He was gross right now. No wash before bed last night, no -time- for one considering all the work he’d stayed up doing to make sure today would be prepared for, and his hair was a state. Still full of styling products and pointing haphazardly in every direction, he tried to run a hand through it and felt his fingers catch in the waxy mess.

“..Bleh…” he groaned, rolling his tongue out to emphasise how nasty this was. “OK.. seriously, fucking shower time you nasty little shit, heh.”

Stumbling over to the black felted wall facing the bed, he tapped a hand to the panel that extended his inbuilt dresser from the recess it was hidden within, rooting inside it for some chillout clothes as one of his personal playlists began to play over the ship’s audio system.

How long had he had these things now he wondered, picking up a long dark pair of sweats and matching tank, poking a finger through a hole near one of the ankles as he slowly waddled towards the washroom. Years probably. One of the first things they had done once they had started making donation income on Pandora was buy clothing and get out of their ancient patched up hand-me-downs, like shedding the skin of your former self and emerging a new being… and he tended to hang on to stuff he found comfortable. Not a crime, right? I mean sure he could replace them, he could afford to replace anything, but you couldn’t buy that feeling of well worn, broken in comfort clothing. You had to earn that.

The whole “Trash-punk Deity” aesthetic he’d designed for himself and Tyreen was based around looking effortlessly sexy in its thrown together accidental style, but it was fucking hard work in reality. That shit was uncomfortable most of the time, so wiggling out of 20 belts and piles of chains and into the comfort of indoor clothes like these had almost become a cathartic ritual once he closed the door to the rest of the world behind him and entered his ship quarters.

He let the fur slip to the ground as he rounded the doorway’s corner and stepped into the washroom, feeling a shiver shoot up his back as his feet touched the cool floor. It was exactly how he had requested when detailing the ship, dark and moodlit like the majority of Sanctum’s décor, tiled from top to bottom in deep grey slate with wall integrated storage and commodities, recessed night lighting set to a gentle soft glow skirting around the inner edges of the ceiling, open shower wall set to match his height, and a floor length mirror surrounded by panels that stored his cosmetics and toiletries.

Dropping the balled up clothing to the floor near the mirror, he leaned forward to reach and switch the wall mounted faucet on, and turned towards the mirror as he waited for the high pressured blast of water that roared forth to begin to heat.

Stepping onto the scale panel on the floor in front of the mirror, he blew a deep breath out and stared at his reflection, looking anywhere but the numbers flickering under his feet, taking in his naked form. All long, lean lines of rich brown skin and dark tattoo work, decorated by the Siren markings that ran like filligree up his left leg and arm, ending where they emerged from the mess of his pitch black hair and curled around his left eye.

He looked ok… didn’t he? His ribs were still clear, shifting under thin skin, but there was some meat on his chest and the faintest hint of defined vascularity across his shoulder and bicep now, and that was a good thing, right?

He didn’t look like he had lost any since last time, he mulled, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he pinched the taut skin of his lower stomach between his thumb and fingers, measuring the thickness. He felt ok, he hadn’t been too tired recently, he hadn’t waited longer than he should have between top ups from Tyreen and made sure to eat on schedule, even if he had lost a little it would be fine anyway, right? He always bounced back even if it took a little while, and he’d been feeling ok recently. He’d been ok..

He closed his eyes and shrugged the tension out of his shoulder, inhaling and exhaling deeply before looking down at the scale readout.

“Oh..”

“No wait, whoah!”

2 pounds up from his last goal point? This was the heaviest he had ever been in his life! He gasped out a shocked laugh, looking back up at his reflection in the mirror and grinning as he failed to swipe his rat-nest of waxed hair back into something remotely respectable, blushing furiously under the streaks of black smeared down his cheeks.

“Holy shit, good job man, look at you! All buff n’ shit.” He boasted, puffing out his narrow chest and aiming a toothy grin at himself through the steam now filling the room.

“You only half look like a teenage girl who got dumped last night, fuckin su-perb.”

Barking out a genuine laugh, he turned and stepped into the blast of piping hot water, squinting his eyes shut as it cascaded down his face and over his torso. He’d have to tell Ty as soon as she got back about the weight gain. She’d totally call him a fatass, she was gonna be so happy too.

Shit like this was exactly what made it all worth it, he thought, watching the water swirl down the drain near his feet with a dreamy smile.

Hot water, any time you wanted, not having to bath in tepid river water because “heating it wastes energy, and ya don’t need it do ya kid, this is fine”. Clothes that weren’t threadbare and sewn from rags that constantly felt grimy because the only soap you had was that awful smelling shit Grouse used to make from animal fat. Food whenever you needed it, never being hungry or too sick and tired to be able to forage. All things you had to have not had once, to fully appreciate having whenever you wanted now. He appreciated everything, he thought. Eyes closed and face directly under the water. He didn’t have anyone to tell, but he appreciated everything.

Opening his mouth and gargling the hot water, he laughed as it spurted out over his chest, then wiped it out of his eyes with his forearm and began to scrub at his scalp with a shampoo bar from the small toiletry storage panel he’d slid open next to the wall mounted faucet. Feeling the caked in styling wax begin to give way felt so good. No need to put more of that shit in today and spend an hour styling his hair, or sit and work on a smokey eye, or make any effort at all with his appearance. He could just be a slob. A clean slob who was gonna go eat his weight in junk food after he finished scrubbing the rest of his body with the soapy suds rolling down his shoulders.

Raising his face into the stream for the last time and letting it finish rinsing him off, he enjoyed one more pleasant shiver under the incredible heat, then turned off the faucet and reached for the body sized towel hanging on a wall hook within arms distance, carefully dabbing it over the sensitive puckered scar and thin skin along his right shoulder and ribs, before vigorously drying his body and hair after.

Tossing the towel into the corner (the bots would sort it out later when they changed his bedding and tidied the room), he hopped one leg at a time onto the soft sweatpants and left them low hung over his jutting hips, pulling the drawstring taut. Walking in bare feet towards the doorway, he tossed the tank over his head and maneuvered his arm in, then flipped his jet black wet hair backwards and over the nape of his neck as he rounded the bathroom entrance and padded across the bedroom’s plush carpeting towards the mag-locked door that led into the ship’s main living chamber.

He could still hear the quiet whirring and beeps of his little “projects” through it even over the ship’s music stream, and felt his eyes crinkle at the edges as he smirked in anticipation, eager to see how they were faring with their custom programed household tasks as he raised his palm to the wall mounted reader and the door began to slide open.

Taking in the organised chaos it revealed, he leaned his lithe frame against the doorway, crossing his legs as he rubbed absentmindedly at his empty shoulder joint, smirk splitting into a wide grin.

“Heyyyy boys, how’s it going this fine night, huh? Miss me?”

A half dozen clunky, pieced together droids of various sizes stopped their assigned tasks and swizzled on junky wheels and mismatched clobbered together legs to beep and screech at him in welcome. Grating chorus quietening down as they returned one by one to their cleaning and maintenance chores, while he walked down the couple of steps that led out of his bed chambers and into the eclectic nonsense that was his home.

Pausing for a moment to let a tiny rat-sized box droid covered in charging ports that wobbled past his feet on rickety wheels, he turned into the small open kitchen on his right. Like the other included luxury ship components, he’d not changed it at all since Sanctum was finished 4 years ago, a fully integrated chrome and glossy black iron kitchenette fitted for his height, underlighting glowing softly around the curved shapes of the wall mounted sleeper cabinets above. All he’d done was… accessorised it a bit with extra features.

The left wall was covered in a grid of hanging potted herbs the droids took care of, having them on hand had proven extremely useful in the last few years. Something you could brew or smoke for joint pain relief was pretty useful for someone in his physical condition, and anything that helped him sleep and wasn’t the cocktail of chemicals he usually had to rely on was welcome. Great shit for seasoning food too, not that he’d brag.

The kitchen itself would be sleek as hell if he hadn’t Troy’d it to shit as Ty would say, but hey, what did she know. The scraps of paper print outs of their first big follower count milestones stuck to the front of the smooth black refrigerator door? That was part of the aesthetic. That homemade automated coffee machine made of of scrap metal and visible wiring? That absolutely fit in with the black glass stovetop it sat next to, she just had no eye for style.

Why would be go buy one anyway, he mused as he poured some of the fresh brew that had been triggered when he got out of bed into the chipped mug printed with a faded “Best Bro” he kept on top of the coffee machine, this one worked fine. The shocks you sometimes got when grabbing the pot? That was a feature!

Ty just didn’t get it, he reasoned to himself, nodding sagely as he sipped the smokey black coffee from the mug, eyes closed, savoring the taste. This worked fine, no reason to junk it just because it wasn’t as she would put it, “classy” or “functional” or “safe to be around without risk of explosion”.

Turning and resting his lower back against the edge of the counter top, he slowly looked around the rest of the living quarters as he continued to sip at the drink.

Sanctum had been fully internally tailored to his tastes and needs straight off the factory conveyors. Twinned to Tyreen’s personal ship and only a digit apart in their serials, it was a luxury cruise vessel with jump capabilities and an array of offensive and defensive addons. Money hadn’t been a factor, even years ago when they had originally commissioned their ships, the twins had infinite funding and nothing had been out of the question. Their personal Sanctums were large enough to give them their own private living spaces, while still small enough to be able to dock together on either side of most of their larger basilica’s cloisters. That configuration allowed them to share the cloister’s internal quarters, while still having the option to return to their ships when needed. Loving his twin didn’t mean he could avoid wanting to wring her bratty little neck 3 times a day, so this arrangement had been a life saver… probably quite literally at this point.

While both ships had the exact same internal layout, the twins had customised their own over time to the point where it would be hard to notice the ships matched perfectly originally.

Troy’s decorative tastes were.. jumbled, he’d guess would be a fair description. Life on Nekro had been relentlessly uncomfortable. Nothing was soft, everything was hard, rough. Sleeping on anything there chafed your skin or bruised delicate ribs. It made sense in a way now that he loved comfort so much. If he spotted a really nice piece of textile in a returning war party’s haul, looted antique wall tapestries or lush woven rugs, they had a habit of vanishing from the offerings and -somehow- ending up on this ship. Almost every inch of floor was covered in overlapping thick rugs, some of which he was pretty sure were probably treasures of some lost civilisation, but hey, they were nice on the feet.

Patterend textiles in various colours hung in sheets across the ceiling, giving the illusion of the ship being some kind of huge tent structure, sometimes with the odd resting bot perched in a hanging loop.

He tended to pick shit up too, much to Tyreen’s constant disgust. Pandora just had some really cool skulls laying around, was it really such a big deal to want to hang them around above doorways? Alpha skag skulls were so his vibe! Why waste ‘em by leaving them out in the desert. Same could be said for all his “project” droids. Tyreen gave him the stink eye every time he found a new busted piece of junk he was sure he could fix up, so he’d been sneaking them home for years now. If they were too far gone, no problem, meant spare parts he could use for the others later.

Most of the wall space that wasn’t hanging textile was covered in shelving he’d tacked up across the ship, and he loved to hoard nostalgia. The wall shelves around the living quarters were covered in things he attributed memories to, like plants from different planets they’d sat through hours of boring merger meetings on with the usual designer suit-clad pissants who looked down their noses at the twins while simultaneously trying to kiss their asses, crystal rocks he’d found on the long cross Pandoran trips required for attending various COV districts and bestowing their holy grace upon the rabid swarms of their followers, photos of him and Ty on their very first visits to different regions, all of which were so old now he noted, shrugging off the quick pang of sadness that shot through his throat. Spaces between the shelves were filled with sketches of things he had no captures of, like landscapes they remembered from Nekrotafeyo, Mom, or Eridian architecture he still glanced at times in dreams of a childhood long gone.

Finishing off the coffee, he took in a deep breath through his nose, pressed the mug against his stomach, and leaned his head back against a wall mounted cabinet behind him, letting his eyes flutter shut. The ship smelled of everything that always relaxed him, fresh oil from the workroom on the other side of the herb wall where he focused on his tech projects like his arm rig, bots, and more stupid shit to put around the ship and annoy Tyreen with. Remnants of spray paint fumes from the art station in the corner across from his kitchen where he worked on propaganda wall art pieces on huge canvases, splashes of colour smeared across the walls and floor surrounding it, and the homemade sheet metal shelving next to it that stored his cans and supplies. The warm spicy scent of the herbs currently being watered awkwardly by a Hyperion vacuum droid teetering on shaking, mismatched legs he’d made it when he couldn’t find the right parts to fix its internal rotor, it all merged together into a scent completely unique to where he lived. His home.

Opening his eyes again, he glanced down at the mug and absently ran his thumb along the slightly raised Best Bro print on the side, Tyreen had got him this as a joke on their birthday at least 6 years ago now, and he’d managed to keep it intact since. Without her knowing of course, that would be embarrassing, she’d never let him live it down.

He wondered how she was faring, and lifted his head to take in the huge curved window facing out the front of the ship, the Pandoran night skyline twinkling through it. The ship’s small cockpit and pilot seat was suspended above the recessed recreation area that faced the glass, railless spiraling steel stairs leading to it from just behind the semi circular couch that curved around the piles of blankets and cushions that covered the rec area’s floor. He should check up on her, just to be sure, just to know she was ok. Had to earn that title of Best Bro afterall.

Carefully returning the mug to the top of the coffee machine, he started to slowly walk towards the window, stopping to curl his toes in a particularly plush rug’s pile and consider his sister. Twins, despite total bullshit others had told him his whole life, were -not- psychic. He had no “magical link” to Tyreen’s mind, no super mystical sense that would kick in if something was very wrong, so when they were apart there was always the slight fear in either’s belly. Was he unwell? Was she in danger? Was he hurt? Was she upset? There wasn’t a secret twin power that allowed them to know, even though everyone else seemed to think there was. So, they had come up with more functional ways to reassure each other, and as he resumed walking towards the rec area, he reminded himself he could use one of those systems right now.

Dropping a hand to the edge of the recessed couch, he vaulted over the edge and onto the seat cushions, immediately jolting up straight backed with a wince as he landed on a sharp crumpled up beer can lodged in the recess of one.

“Oh COME ON guys!” He yelled over his shoulder in the vague direction of where he could hear the bots still working behind him, leaning to the side as he rubbed his ass.

“Hhhhhf.. ow. Mannn.. you have to pay more attention on cleanup duty, fuck, that could have cut.”

Pulling the can out from underneath him, he tossed it backwards over his head and into the waiting little clamp hands of his earlier version of C.H.A.7, janky old H.8.N.K. Watching it sputter away on a shaky thruster and float towards the work room behind him to recyc the can brought a flicker of warmth to his chest.

H.8.N.K was nearly 7 years old now, one of the first bots he’d made himself, and still had its uses, even if a bit slow nowadays. That reminded him actually, he’d need to do a bit of work on the prosthetic tonight.

Turning back to face the window, he lifted his arm and gently pressed fingers into the recess of his missing shoulder, hitching in a quick sharp breath as he brushed across a pain point, eyes unfocused and trained on the floor in front of him.

That piston in the bicep’s inner side had been too tight for a while now and had been causing the weight to sit incorrectly, putting extra strain through his bracer and onto the shoulder edge.

Leaning forward slowly, he continued to press into the pain, now dry hair falling past his shoulders and brushing along the right side of his face. The tightness around his eyes loosened as he breathed out, carefully rubbing across the spot in a circle with his thumb, pain beginning to ebb away. He had all of tonight and today, he could get that fixed up fast, nice bit of tinkering to look forward to later!

Now to check on Tyreen, the window control tablet was right next to him but he heeded his.. where were they?

Leaning back into the plush couch pillow behind him, he rooted his hand around in the recesses of the seat cushions, tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth in concentration as he swapped his hand from the recess on the right side to the left.

“Where.. are.. those fuckin.. Ah!”

Pulling out his prize, he flicked his wrist forward to open the square glasses’s arms, then fitted them over his ears carefully, straightening the frames on his nose. Not going to get a headache from looking at the screen without these tonight of all nights, not when he had so much relaxing to look forward to.

Reaching down to the control tablet next to his left thigh, he muttered under his breath while tapping command panels that popped into life on the tablet display.

“Okayyy.. showtime.”

The massive curved window he was facing flicked from the inky black view of the Pandoran night outside, to a solidly opaque monitor view of cascading analytical data. A live feed of current viewer numbers on streams, finance reports organised into a sidebar overlay, and on the bottom right next to rows of app thumbnails, a small portrait icon of Tyreen.

Tapping the tablet rapidly to move the selection across to her icon, he smiled at the picture. No makeup, back when her hair was still deep brown and before she started bleaching it her iconic white on top, tongue out and giving the camera the peace sign. He remembered taking that, it had been her reaction to being called a little bitch after she’d asked him for a hand with setting up their stream gear. That same fucking joke she made at least once a week and that had never at any point been remotely funny.

“Bet you aren’t laughing now Ty-die, stuck in a merger meeting with a a shower of assholes while I enjoy myself, hehhhhh”

His momentary gloat was interrupted by the Hyperion Vacuum droid tapping his left knee with its front panel, drawing his immediate attention to the 6 pack of Bandit Brew balanced on its flat top, spindly little scrap legs shaking under the weight.

“Oh! BRO!” he barked out with a laugh, leaning quickly to scoop the cans against his chest with his arm and relieve it of the weight.

“Awww haha, thanks pal. Great timing!”

It made a distorted chirp in response and turned to waddle away, while he dropped the cans to the couch by his side. Tapping the tablet once more and waiting for the app to open on screen, he placed a can between his knees and then popped the tab with his thumb and forefinger, jumping slightly when it sprayed pressurised foam over his hand and arm.

Bot must have shaken these up a bit while bringing them over, not that he’d berate it he thought, eyes still on the main screen while he licked the foam off his forearm and fingers.

Not its fault he’d only been able to retrofit legs for it instead of a new rotor.

Wrinkling his nose at the awful taste of the beer, he started reading through the display Ty’s app was now showing on screen, lifing the can from between his legs to chug it in the hopes of not having to let his tongue touch it too long.

Heartrate calm, vitals all fine, no chem spikes, safe and sound off at her merger. Not asleep, so his guess was right, probably bored shitless in a meeting right now. Great, can scratch that little itch from his mind now and focus on him, Best Bro responsibilities met.

Reaching down and dropping the empty can near his feet, he grabbed a couple of the blankets strewn across the floor within reach and pulled them up and to his side, then reached for another brew and popped it open between his knees again.

This shit was vile. Awful stuff, like piss and vinegar, but they had an unlimited supply of it and it got you wasted fast. Some licensing deal he’d organised a couple of years ago, and a pretty decent one he figured considering how successful the sales were, raising the can to give a cheers to the massive split-jawed Skag skull that sat above the window monitor before chugging it and dropping the can next to the first by his feet.

Ok, right, so what was he going to watch.

Tapping the tablet again to cancel out of Ty’s app, he selected the the media streaming icon from the app list and started scrolling through what was up.

Man, there were at least 5 series he was behind on right now that had had updates, and the lengths he’d gone to to avoid spoilers were a joke. Know how hard it is to not see any when your entire existence was based around being on the echonet 24/7? There were followers who had been executed over not correctly spoiler warning before posting on public social media.

Clicking through the updates, he started to queue some into today’s playlist. “Ancient secrets of Eridian science” nice. “Murder he yote” real life serial murderer documentary slash comedy? Perfect.

He paused on the icon for that terrible romcom Ty liked, 2 new episodes unwatched. Glancing down, he clicked the option to bookmark it on the tablet for her. He hated romcom’s, found them intensely cringe, but Tyreen.. well. She had her reasons for enjoying them so much, he knew. He never complained if she wanted to watch one with him. He got it. He got why. He was probably the only person she knew who did.

Just two cans into this crap and he was starting to feel it, he puffed a deep breath out as he leaned back and pressed his hand into the solid line of his lower belly. Time to actually eat something, or his stomach was going to start kicking his ass if he kept drinking. Turning his head to the side, he yelled back in the direction of the kitchen while still watching the monitor and the show descriptions he was scrolling through.

“Yo, guys, any of you, can you reheat that pizza in the fridge from the other night?”

Concerned beeping came in response.

“Nah, n-no it’s fiiiiiine, it’s only a couple days old, just reheat it!”

A single long, resigned beep in reply.

Great. Food on the way he thought, smirking and turning to face the screen again. Time to check the Echonet fan uploads while he waited, tabbing out of the stream app and into the Echonet, quickly searching for anything tagged COV. This stuff was always hilarious.

The very first result broke him into a snorting laugh, a vid titled CALYPSO LOVELIFE UPDATE: NOT SINGLE??, the thumbnail a terrible edit of Ty’s face looking shocked, surrounding by crying bandits. He hovered his finger over the bookmark option again, then thought better of it when he felt a slight pang of remorse for laughing. That would actually just upset her, he realised, making a mental note to run a takedown request on it soon as he was finished with the shows.

It didn’t count as work if it was to make sure Ty didn’t see something that would hurt her, even if she would be furious with him for assuming (correctly) it would, so he’d get it done tonight.

The squeaks of nearby wheels broke the negative mood, and he turned so his left with excitement as good old Janky clunked awkwardly into view, pizza box held in front of it haphazardly on its single kitbashed spindly arm.

“I got it, hold on!” He laughed, reaching to take the box from the droid as it angrily grumbled at him in crackling honks, single red lens eye set into it’s sleek black box body flashing in irritation as the mismatched wheels he’d found for it snagged on the rug underneath.

Rustling in the box on his lap, he pulled out a slice of pizza, some kind of spicy sausage thing, covered in mixed herbs and slices of vegetables he didn’t know the name of. Tasted great, but he wasn’t too sure he wanted to find out what that meat actually was, he decided, shoving the whole slice into his mouth and wiping the grease from his fingers onto his pant legs before realising the angry Vladov bot was still stuck on the rug.

“Hold on, heh, c'mon Jank, it’s not that bad!” Troy reassured as he leaned forward to press a palm against the smooth front of its box body and push it past the snag its front wheel was spinning on, irritated beeping and honking growing louder.

“Ah man, look I’m sorry about the wheels, but at least you can move! Not perfect I know but excuuuuuse me for not having replacement leg parts specifically for a.. freaking… junked ”Prototype Vladov steward-bot “ in stock.” he gestured towards the grumbling bot’s welded on chassis and tripod wheels with the second pizza slice he’d just grabbed.

“I know this ain’t like, what you were made for but fuck it dude, you work right?”. The bot let out a conceding soft honk as it pivoted in place, then trundled away awkwardly on the mismatched set of wheels.

Troy twisted to face the screen again, reaching for the 3rd can of piss-ale and slamming it between his knees with more force than was needed, angrily snapping the tab open as he muttered under his breath.

“.. Fucking ungrateful really. Wish someone had cared half as much about trying to fix me.”

He wasn’t enjoying the gut feeling that interaction had left him with, unpleasant memories stirring in the back of his head as he slowly slid down the back of the couch, legs stretching further out across the floor as he finished the third can and dropped it with the others.

Screw it.

More beer, plenty of pizza to shovel into his face, and trash to watch. Speaking of which…

Tapping the control tablet again, the screen flicked into the start of the latest episode of some semi fictional biographical series on Handsome Jack. It could be completely factual honestly, some of the shit Jack supposedly got up to sounded like it had been written by a complete moron, but had actual real life witnesses to attest. What had happened in the last episode, something about killing a guy with a spoon? He should take notes honestly, Troy thought with a smirk, shaking the lingering feelings of self pity out of his head.

He was slouched low enough for his chin to touch his chest now, alternating between pushing whole slices of pizza into his mouth and sipping on the 4th can of swill he’d just opened, hair having fallen mostly over the right side of his face as he slowly sank down, and too comfortable now to bother fixing it.

The ridiculously over the top actor playing Jack was currently loading a group of.. scientists? Into an airlock while monologuing about the dangers of trusting others in a corporate setting. Bit out of Troy’s lane, but the campy energy the actor was throwing into the scene was enough to keep him snorting out laughter between swallows of pizza.

Rummaging his hand around the box far down his lap for the last slice, he absentmindedly clicked apart his face mods, letting the split maw fall open as he lathed the elongated prehensile tongue out across the bare skin of his chest to mop up the crumbs it was covered in, retracting it and resetting his jaw without even moving his eyes from the screen as his fingers hit the last slice and dragged it out of the box and into his mouth. Complete normalcy, well, for Troy.

It was starting to catch up with him now, he realised as each blink felt like it was starting to take longer and longer. He’d only had a few hours of sleep and the comfortable weight of food and beer in his belly was making it hard to keep his focus on the show. He could just shut them for a bit, this scene was fucking boring now anyway, Jack sure did seem to really get off on talking shit about himself for far too long..

He didn’t open them again, breathing evening out as his head tilted to the side and knees leaned together, glasses slipping off his nose as the show continuing to play on the monitor. Jack singlehandedly massacred his way through camps of filthy bandits while Troy dozed.

The tiny squeaks of Jank’s wheels didn’t wake him as it carefully removed the pizza box from his lap and pulled one of the blankets by his side over his lap, then muted the monitor as it trundled away as quietly as possible.

Let him sleep. He can wake up when he’s ready, the whole day is his.

#troy calypso #tyreen calypso #calypso twins #borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #my hcs #My hcs #My writing

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