#this is so much more important than a ship
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hiiii it's me! devin! ur favorite!
maya is still banned from doing big business things on social media while she takes time to rest and detoxify from the poison that is running social media full time for ten years. everybody clap! yay!
i'm here to share some info on our button-up shirt and dress preorders!
as many of you already know, i lost my anti-preorder campaign due to the high minimum per design. there's been some confusion and uncertainty. carsyn's doing her best but preorders are overwhelming and i have some time today
SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS:
how close are you to hitting the minimum goal for the button-up shirts and dresses?
not close lol. as of 4/26 we're at about 8% funded. i refuse to panic until after may 3rd
why the funeral design?
the funeral design won our design poll
initially we were going to run preorders for two designs: funeral as well as astronauts. when we got news that the minimum would be 400 garments per design (we're able to spread that across the button-up shirts and dresses) we decided to cut back to one design. we're really not big enough to expect 800 orders on an $80-90 item
why not another design?
another design did not win the design poll
what would have been chosen other than funeral or astronaut?
deadly florals, hiss from a rose, microorganisms, and hands were all the top placers in the design poll after funeral
can you do solid color?
yes
why didn't you do solid color?
you can buy a solid color button-up shirt or dress from anywhere. the plan has always been to introduce these garments in solid color after their initial introduction
...so can you do solid color?
we will consider doing solid color preorders if these preorders bomb
how much would solid color cost?
probably the same. it's not much cheaper. it's faster to make tho
how much would the ecovero viscose cost instead of cotton?
maybe like $10 cheaper
it's really soft tbh but it's a different weave from the viscose for the skirts. it's my number one fabric for the button-ups but alas the cotton fandom won for now
what happens if preorders bomb?
we cancel and refund all preorders.
maybe we'll try again with a different design or with fewer features after we have some time to decompress from the nightmare that is running preorders (can you tell i hate preorders). if they bomb bad enough we may completely nix patterned button-up shirts and dresses. we don't know yet!
does that affect the picnic top?
the picnic top is completely separate. since it's made out of a different fabric it has its own minimum, so it will not be affected by button-up shirt and dress preorders
and like, to be totally honest, it's way cheaper to produce. we can eat some of the cost and just make them. they're small enough to store easily and they're at a lower price point so we can expect to sell them after we receive them, like the wrap tops
btw, we have other ready-to-ship things already in production. we've been working on a whole secret project. surprise!
why did you launch preorders for the button-up shirt/dress at the same time as the picnic top?
the picnic top sample came in with the button-up dress sample and it needed very little alteration. also maya liked it. also we may be developing an entire line inspired by the picnic top so keep an eye out for that next spring
why is the new button-up shirt more expensive than the old button-up shirt?
it's more expensive to make
why is it more expensive to make?
this is a different factory from the one we used before. it's more expensive because they pay their staff a higher wage and likely have other costs
this is a different fabric from the one we used before. it's a stretch cotton with a GOTS certification
this is imported from a different country from the one we used before. turkey has much higher import fees to the US
what is a GOTS certification?
the short version is the fabric itself is more environmentally friendly and produced with more fair labor practices than standard cotton
you can read the long version here here
can you do fulfillment from somewhere other than the US?
we're working on it. it probably won't lower prices tho, since fulfillment centers also cost money
anyway...
none of this is to shame someone for not preordering. groceries are expensive and things are tight, plus it kinda sucks to spend on a tight budget and not get what you ordered for a few months
(can you tell i hate preorders)
i think there's a lot of surprise since we've never done preorders on a single design before, and that's fair! we debated on doing a kickstarter but a) i hate doing kickstarters b) kickstarter takes a percentage of sales and our profit margin on these is already lower than we'd like it to be
i'm tired and i can't remember anything else i wanted to say. i may answer any additional questions from my own tumblr (@punchyemblem and now i'm gonna get a notification that i'm gonna be jumpscared by) but carsyn will be handling most questions
also don't worry, when you say nice things we still show maya. also she's fine, she's just in her (forced and highly necessary and possibly permanent) limited social media era
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Barón Tovar Takes a Wife
First Movement (Adagio sostenuto)
5.5K / Bridgerton AU Regency!Pero Tovar x fem!reader, a childhood best friends to lovers story
Summary: About to make your society debut and enter London's marriage mart, you don't expect an old friend whom you haven't seen in over 10 years to make a surprise appearance at the first ball of the season.
Warnings: None! Fluff! B, C, D, E, F Bridgerton make appearances. It's me so there's a cute nickname (won't spoil). The masterlist includes a few words about how this reader insert is written - essentially, no reader description other than having hair and wearing dresses in the style of this era, reader has a backstory; much of this part is exposition (so maybe a little slow but we'll get there!😊)
A/N: My plan is to post the entire series before Season 3 of Bridgerton airs, because the story is intended to take place in the background of the same season and if things don't make sense after the show comes out then oh well 🤭 I'm also only 2/3 of the way through Julia Quinn's books, so please forgive me if some of my characterizations of the Bridgertons are not wholly correct 🙏🏻
Wonderful Bridgerton inspired dividers by @saradika-graphics 🥰
Series Masterlist
The Duchess of Hastings stands behind you, admiring the reflection in the mirror of the two of you together, “I dare say, if you had debuted with me during my season, there is a good chance that I may not have been the Diamond.”
“Oh, shush, your Grace,” you make a funny face at her in the mirror, to which she laughs and pokes you in the ribs, “Don’t you start with this ‘Your Grace’ business with me.”
That Daphne Bridgerton is your dearest and oldest friend in England is something you consider to be one of the great fortunes of your life, of which, as the daughter of a Count, you have many. Violet Bridgerton and your mother, the Countess, had been dear friends and as such, much of your early childhood in England had been spent at Bridgerton House, running around with not only the same aged Daphne, but her elder and younger siblings as well. The Bridgertons are one of the most beloved families of the ton, their good natured and spirited personalities recommending themselves to everyone, and accordingly, your memories of when your two families would gather remain some of the most joyous of your childhood.
Sadly, your dear mother passed away from illness when you were only seven years of age and your beloved father, who loved her more than life itself, could not bear to stay in England much without her. The Count was one of several nobles charged with governance of Her Majesty’s Royal Naval Fleet; a gentle man, his purview was primarily diplomatic (as opposed to militaristic) and he thus travelled widely, often and always for long periods of time.
Though he did not wish to remain where so many of his memories dwelled, the Count could not bear to leave his only child behind, and consequently, you had joined your father on his travels. He proudly raised a cheerful, spirited daughter who loved the seas and adventure as much as she did reading and music. Your father found that exposing you to and requiring you to immerse yourself in so many foreign cultures at a young age led you to be the most sympathetic and kind hearted child, one who others found easy to converse with and befriend on account of your good humoured nature and open minded heart. Unencumbered by the rigid etiquette requirements (and dress code!) of British high society, you happily embraced many freedoms that other young ladies of your age and breeding did not have the opportunity to enjoy. Your father taught you much about the ships and business of the naval fleet, subjects to which you took a great interest; to this day, you know your way around most ships better than some sailors. The Count was especially proud of your affinity for diplomacy, understanding the importance of fairness and tough negotiation both in foreign matters and managing fleets. You loved all of it – spending countless hours pouring over maps and letters of diplomatic matters with your father and absorbing all you could; as you got older, you took great pride in the way your father would sometimes seek your opinion and advice on business matters and delighting when he would praise you on your ideas.
While he was unorthodox, your father could not be accused of being neglectful; he would not forgo your formal and societal education, knowing that one day, you would have to return to live in England. Hiring only the most adventurous and brave governesses to accompany your travels, the Count ensured that your literary, numerical, musical and artistic accomplishments and pursuits could rival those of your peers back home. You learned to dance the dances of grand balls, though you had only the few foreign dignitary hosted events to practice. Your only other occasion to practice came when you would return for your infrequent visits to England, reuniting with your beloved Bridgertons to spend nearly all your time catching up and laughing with Daphne and her siblings, and take in what you could of British society before once again being swept away on another ship. Though brief, these reunions with your friends, coupled with your frequent letters were enough to ensure your friendships remained strong and cherished over the years.
Two years ago, Daphne had made her societal debut, meeting and marrying her love, the Duke, during the marriage season and you could not have been more delighted for your friend. That season should have also been your debut season, except that you and your father were in the Far East and would not have been able to complete the Count’s business and return in time. Since you had postponed one year, what was two? If you had your way, you would have made it three, not eager to give up the life of travel and leisure that you’ve grown accustomed to. However, when the Queen wrote to ask why the daughter of one of her esteemed Counts has not yet been presented, both you and your father had to regretfully concede that your life as a carefree sea farer was over.
And thus, you find yourself in your present circumstance: in a luxurious silk gown the colour of swan feathers, wearing what might actually be swan feathers in your hair, about to be presented to the Queen before embarking on your first social season. To be honest, you’re not terribly nervous, save for whatever nerves one always has whenever attempting something new, and you have good reasons not to be.
The first being that you are in the very capable hands of your great friend, the Duchess. The now Dowager Viscountess had promised your mother that when the time for your debut came, it would be the Bridgerton family’s honour to sponsor you. If anything, you felt that the honour was all yours – not only were you to have the support and backing of one of the most respected and revered families during your season, you would also be blessed with their company. As fortune would have it, due to the timing of your debut, Violet had prepared herself to take on the duty of presenting not one but two girls: yourself and her third eldest daughter, Francesca.
Fearing it was far too much work and pressure, you had assured Violet, whom you loved as a second mother, that she need not fret too much over you; you’re a woman of twenty-three with more world experience than most men twice your age, and encouraged her to focus her attentions on her own daughter. Violet had been aghast at the implication that she didn’t think of you as one of her daughters, and you were about to be on the receiving end of a scolding that only a mother could dispense when Daphne came to your rescue. As the Duchess of Hastings, she herself had the right to present young ladies at court, and she declared herself delighted to be your patroness this season. This was decidedly a win-win; not only could Violet concentrate on Francesca’s prospects, you could now look forward to spending the season with your dear friend by your side.
The second reason you’re not overly anxious is that despite being older than most of the girls debuting at the same time, you know you have plenty to recommend you to potential suitors. No, you are not terribly conceited nor do you hold your own attributes in such high esteem, but rather, very practically, you know most suitors will not let a small thing such as age deter them from the handsome fortune your father has bestowed upon you.
The Count was forever exasperated with the shortcomings of the laws of inheritance and how they prevented his one child from inheriting his estate, but he made up for it the best he could with the legal avenues available to him. First, he set aside a healthy dowry for you, so that you would be sure to attract a similarly healthy crop of high society gentlemen from which to choose a husband. Second, via his will, you would be provided for for the remainder of your life with a generous per annum allowance that rivaled the income of many estates; you were to want for nothing even if you never married.
And finally, known only to a select few, your father had a vast investment in an international fleet separate from the naval fleet of the queen; a beloved exploration and trade business venture that was the Count’s passion project - you and him spending many enjoyable hours pouring over the plans and movements of this fleet. The dividends from your father’s shares went directly into a trust of which you (and any future children of yours) are the sole beneficiary, though the capital had to be held by a man. It was the Count’s thinking that in addition to the income, it was only fair that you benefitted from a venture that you had invested much of your own heart and time into. Naturally, being a part of your father’s estate, this investment could be passed down to the next Count (a distant relative), but your father had other plans. If the intended recipient was willing, you father wanted to sell his shares to his future son-in-law, allowing for the dividends to continue flowing to you and so that you may remain close to the business via your husband’s involvement.
In other words, there are plenty of reasons that potential suitors who might otherwise be dismissive of your age and lack of societal presence, may find you attractive (the least of which were probably your charm and wit); you can afford to be choosy and you fully intend to be. And while you’re not quite so hopeful to wish for a great love like that of your parents, or even Daphne and her beloved Simon, you dearly wish for a husband that will understand and respect you; one who will celebrate you for your mind, experience, opinions and all the reasons why you’re different due to having grown up the way you did.
Daphne seems to have high hopes that there will be many potential suitors who will live up to your expectations. You’re less confident than she, but still more optimistic than not.
Flopping yourself down on the chaise next to Eloise, the two of you heave heavy sighs in unison. After the nerve-racking presentation to the queen earlier this week, the following days have been a non-stop flurry of ribbons, fittings, etiquette lessons and teas with the express purpose of study in the who’s who of the ton. In just a few hours, all of Violet and Daphne’s hard work and preparations will be put on display when your contingent attends the first event of the season: the Danbury Ball.
Eloise passes a box of candy to you and you select a treat gratefully. Though Daphne is your closest friend, you’ve sometimes found yourself having a fair amount in common with Eloise and know her to be a trustworthy confidant; this is one of those times. While you don’t think you have it in you to hate anything as much as Eloise despises the marriage mart, the both of you at least have the good fortune of being able to be picky with your suitors and moreover, wish to exercise that particular privilege. For Eloise, marriage is a cage. For you, it’s the not marriage itself, but a union with an imprudent match that you wish to avoid. If you can no longer be free to sail the seas and wander through the valleys and streets of the foreign lands that call your name, you must insist that the home you’re being called home to roost is at the very least, pleasant.
“I beg of you,” murmurs Eloise, “Please let all the fashionable young men fill up your dance card so that there shall be none left for me.”
You steal another piece of candy, “I’m afraid there’s more than enough young men to go around, El. Plus, you really ought to beseech Franny for your request, my dance card may struggle for applicants on account of me being such an old maid,” you giggle.
“None of that negativity now,” chimes in Daphne from the open door, “tonight is full of possibilities.”
During the season, you’re staying at Bridgerton House so to be close to all the finery of dresses, jewels, shoes, ladies’ maids and moral support that you may need. Your father is staying nearby in another house on Grosvenor Square, and comes by most days to see his daughter and dear family friends for breakfast at the very least. You have loved your life with your father, but at times like these, when you are laughing at and listening to the loving snipes and bickering of the Bridgerton siblings, you often wonder what it would have been like to have a more traditional upbringing. Pushing that thought out of your mind, you stand and pull Eloise up with you so that the two of you can follow the Duchess to the next room where you’re expected to choose from the glittering selection of dresses laid out for tonight.
As you lean towards selecting a pretty lavender gown, Daphne fills you in on the processional arrangements for your entrances tonight, “Mama, Franny, Anthony and Kate will take the first carriage, then you, Eloise and I will follow in the second. We will enter the ball in that order as well.”
“What about Colin and Ben?”
“They’re meeting with some friend from Colin’s travels whom he met in… I want to say Greece? They will make their own way and meet us at the ball.” You nod agreeably; as long as everyone is together at some point or another, your first season event will feel a lot less daunting.
---
As you walk into the Danbury estate, you cannot but feel a bit overwhelmed by all the elegance and glamour on display. Though no stranger to luxury and finer things, it’s not very often that you find yourself amidst so much opulence. Eyes shining as you take in the finery, your voice is full of excitement and genuine awe as you compliment Lady Danbury and thank her for hosting tonight’s soiree. Hand clasped tight in Daphne and Eloise’s as you make your way down the main hall to the ballroom, you see Colin further down on the right side of the hallway, waving alongside Benedict. Waiting by the wall with the Bridgerton brothers is a third gentleman, tall and broad shouldered with soft, curly brown hair who currently has his back to you; Colin has on a mischievous grin and he’s speaking to the stranger quietly, eyes flitting back to you and his sisters periodically as you approach. This can’t be good, you think with suspicion. When you’re a few steps away from meeting with the brothers, Colin gives the stranger a slight nod and he turns around; before you even have a chance to look upon the newcomer’s face, you hear a familiar sweet baritone voice say, “Hello, Dulce.”
At first, you’re in shock; the Spanish word for candy is not a nickname people commonly call you and it’s one you haven’t heard in over ten years. Then joy of recognition and realization overtake you and you completely forget where you are, crying out, “Pero!!!” Your arms behave of their own accord and fly open to wrap around his neck as you launch yourself into the handsome man’s arms.
He hugs you back firmly and whispers low in your ear, “Happy to see you, too” before releasing you, the both of you immediately stepping apart and drop your hands to your sides, remembering where you are and that the eyes of the ton are always watching. But you can’t help but beam; nor can you look away from Pero’s face.
Pero Tovar had been your most constant and beloved friend for many of your happiest childhood years spent abroad. Pero’s father, a Barón of Spain, was in charge of naval governance for his country in a similar capacity as your father was for England and accordingly, their paths crossed regularly in foreign countries. Both men of gentlemanly dispositions, the Count and the Barón had forged a deep and lasting friendship as they conducted their business. Another thing that they had bonded over was the fact that they were both widows who uncharacteristically chose to bring and raise their children with them on their travels.
So, although Pero is eight years your elder and already in his early teens when you first met, being the only two children of sea loving foreign diplomats in the strange lands you found yourselves in readily recommended you to each other and you had become happy and frequent playmates. Pero devoted hours and hours to your amusement, allowing himself to play more juvenile games of pretend that he may not otherwise with compatriots of his own age, and with his encouragement you grew to be brave and curious, always wishing to keep up with the older boy. He helped you with your studies, and you played music for him, learning and mastering the pieces he enjoyed the most. The two of you shared a love of literature and it became your special version of a traditional hunt in each new country you landed in to find foreign language versions of the other’s favourite books so that you could read the translations alongside your worn English copies. Some of the most cherished copies of your favourite books, ones you carry with you from country to country still, were gifts from Pero.
As you got older, your shared adventures expanded to include exploring the streets of new cities, trying local cuisines and frolicking on the beaches of the coasts of Italy, Portugal and even India. The last time you had seen him, he was a strapping young man of twenty and you had been twelve. His father was returning to Spain for an undetermined amount of time to deal with affairs of his estate, and Pero would be entering university, having postponed his acceptance for two years already. Although you had each promised to write, the letters were far and few between and eventually you lost track of Pero – you can hardly blame either of you; you were travelling with your father and not always easy to find, and you didn’t really expect a young man concentrating on his studies to have the time to write to a young girl despite having been her very best friend for so many years.
But now he’s standing right in front of you and you can hardly believe your eyes. He’s impossibly tall and wide, a far cry from the lanky boy with whom you scrambled over rocks on the beaches of Portugal, but he’s still tanned, leading you to surmise that he must still sail or at least get a healthy amount of sun regularly. And while his face is older, devastatingly handsome with a cutting jawline partially hidden by untamed facial scruff, he’s completely recognizable to you. An easy clue is the scar that runs from above his left eyebrow down past his eye, though faded from when you saw it last, but it’s the indulgent smile he’s giving you right now that gives him away to you.
“What are you doing at this ball? Did you know I would be here?” you can’t help but continue to stare at Pero wide-eyed, grinning like a fool.
“Oh! We made the connection earlier this week at dinner,” chimes in Colin, “We were going to bring him over to the house but thought this would be more fun.”
You make to swat at Colin’s arm. “How did you meet this scoundrel?” you jest, with absolutely no malice in your voice, pointing your thumb at the still laughing Bridgerton brother. As your group starts to move towards the ballroom, Pero falls into an easy step by your side, “We met when Colin was taking in the crisp sea air of Mykonos, and then again last year in the vineyards of Tuscany. He made for excellent company after a long day of helping the locals prune grape vines. Naturally, when I arrived in London for business this month, I had to look him up.”
Daphne is now tugging you towards the ballroom by your hand, and in turn, you’ve grabbed onto and are practically dragging Eloise down the hall with you. You shout back to Pero, “I want to hear everything!” and can’t help the smile that spreads across your excited face when he nods after you.
“Oh!” you breathe, invigorated from the surprise of seeing Pero, as you come to a stop right before the entrance way. Daphne smiles over at you, “It was so hard keeping it a secret from you!”
You’re astonished, “You knew about Pero as well?”
“Yes, I thought it might give you an additional boost of confidence to have another friend’s support during your first event.”
You smile at your sweet friend and squeeze her hand affectionately, “Thank you! It does and I’m delighted to see Pero again. But in truth, my confidence could never be lacking when I have a friend like you next to me.”
Daphne gives you her biggest smile and squeezes your hand right back. A moment later, the three of you step into the ballroom and meet the gazes of the other attendees as you’re announced.
---
The ball is a whirlwind. It seems you hardly have a moment to even catch your breath, never mind catch up with Pero. From the moment you walked in to the grand hall, you were pulled in this direction and then that, introduced to new person after new person, some of whose names were familiar from your visits home over the years, and others only from the copious amounts of study you’ve done on the ton over the past week. You’ve certainly forgotten all their names by now.
Then it’s dance after dance after dance with the young gentleman that Daphne parades in front of you. The dancing itself is quite pleasant and a lovely way to shake out some of your jitters, but you find the small talk hardly enough to get to know your partners, and when the dance is over and you’re once again being whisked away to another introduction or meeting that the Duchess has lined up for you. The few opportunities you’ve had to take a breather and indulge in a glass of lemonade, you’ve been happy to retreat back to Pero and your small familiar group; but just when you’ve started to entreat your old friend to open up about his adventures since you saw him last, another potential suitor will be introduced and the entire cycle starts over again.
It’s only when you’re halfway through the evening that the frenzy has died down enough that you can observe and be amused by Pero’s behaviour at the ball. While you’re constantly twirling around the dancefloor, you notice that he never leaves his position against the wall and doesn’t dance at all; he mainly scowls and looks displeased, hardly speaking to anyone other than the Bridgertons or you when you have a free moment. You feel his eyes follow you as you glide across the dance floor with the young men that have asked you to dance, and even when you’re making your way through the room on Daphne’s arm, meeting and making small talk with the other families of the ton. When you do happen to look up and search for him, you often find him glowering and looking dissatisfied, though if you catch his eye, his expression will soften slightly.
Once while you were dancing with Lord Whitfield, you had caught Pero’s eye mid-turn and made a silly quizzical face at him, as if to ask What’s going on with you? and you think you see him laugh briefly before the steps of the dance require you to turn away from him. You wonder why frowns so fearsomely and if there’s a reason for him to be so stoic and curt with the rest of the ton. It’s so odd to you as you’ve never had so much as a cross word from him in all the time you’ve known him, not even when you had snuck out of the compound in Singapore when you were nine so you could watch the fireworks display. Pero had come looking for you, his face serious and eyes panicked when he finally found you in the busy square, but he never once got mad. Instead, he swore not to tell your father, and promised that if you had wanted to see the fireworks up close, he would accompany you. And then he did just that the next night and the night after that. But here, when not engaging the company of his friends, Pero’s countenance is positively sour. Any hopes harboured by the mamas of the ton for snagging a Spanish nobility son-in-law this season are quickly dashed. Barón Tovar is decidedly not here to find a wife.
With the evening more than half over, you realize that unless you make the point to do so, an opportunity to speak more than a few minutes with Pero will surely not present itself. And while you are having fun meeting potential suitors, your mind consistently wanders to Pero throughout the evening. Aside from simply wishing to catch up with him and be in his comforting presence, you do have something important you feel compelled to speak to him on.
After a particularly spirited quadrille, you curtsey your gratitude for the dance to Mr. Sedgewick, and before any of the young men you spy hovering nearby can approach you, you hurry as elegantly as you can toward where Pero is standing awkwardly pressed to the wall.
Pero, having seen the look of determination on your face when seeking him out, asks with concern when you come up to him, “Is everything okay, Dulce?”
There he is, you smile when you see the kind, gentle expression of the boy that you knew for so many years, “Everything is fine, Pero. Although I must admit to needing a respite from all the endless socializing. Do you think we could get some lemonade?”
“Of course. I would be happy to accompany you in fetching a glass.”
With Pero by your side, any person who previously had designs on engaging you during this brief break between dances now thinks better of it; you chuckle to yourself as his fearsome expression comically paves a clear path for you to the refreshments table. Once having secured your drink, you ask Pero if you can speak to him privately.
Careful not to lead you from view of other people lest it incite a scandal, Pero finds a quiet place in the entrance hallway and turns to find you looking up at him rather seriously.
When you’re certain you have his attention, you launch into your confession, “Pero, please allow me to tell you how sorry I was to hear of your father’s passing. I remember him as such a kind, generous man, and such a wonderful friend to my father and by extension, me. I will always think of him with tremendous fondness.”
“Thank you, Dulce. I know he thought very highly of both you and your father and forever treasured your friendships.”
But you’re not done and start to shake your head, eyes filling with tears, “And I’m so very sorry that I did not write to you at the time. I didn't know where you were, but I should have been more diligent in my efforts to find you. I deeply regret not being there for you if you needed someone. I hope you were not alone during that difficult time.”
You hang your head in shame. Pero feels a deep affection for you blossoming in his chest; before him is the same sweet and compassionate girl he knew when he was a boy. Tender-hearted and endlessly considerate of the feelings of others, you always had more empathy than you knew what to do with; he himself had been on the receiving end of your care and concern more times than he could count. Pero gently tips you chin up with his gloved finger, “It was a tough time and I miss him a great deal. But he was an incredible man and I strive to follow the example he set for me everyday. So, in many ways, he is still with me. No need for any apologies.” He gives you what he hopes is a soft and reassuring smile.
In return, you grin, “Who are you and what have you done with my friend? The boy I knew would have made me pay dearly for even the slightest offense - my portion of dessert for a week, at the very least.”
Unable to hold back his own grin, Pero is finding it easy to slip back into this familiar type of playful banter with you, “Well, I was trying to be a gentleman, but since you think me nothing more than a brute, I shall have no trouble devising an appropriate punishment. For your transgression against me, I demand… a dance.”
You laugh whole-heartedly and it feels wonderful to laugh loudly at something genuinely funny rather than the quiet polite laughter you’ve been making most of the evening. “A dance? Well, that is hardly a concession for me! One dance with you means one less spot on my dance card for some lord I don’t know but who Daphne thinks I might find charming,” you joke.
“Are you finding your potential suitors so far to be villains or are they all just very boring?” smirks Pero.
Giving him a little punch in the arm to show him you’re not really complaining, “I am not so terribly unfeeling. They are for the most part fine enough gentlemen. The particular circumstance we find ourselves in just makes them so very eager. It can feel terribly awkward.”
“None of them are good enough for you anyway.”
“Oh, and you are?” you jest, eyes full of mirth.
“Dulce, I’m the worst of the bunch,” counters Pero, leaning in close.
“I don’t doubt it,” you haven’t smiled this wide all evening.
“Be that as it may, the price you must pay to regain my favour remains the same. Shall we?” Pero holds out his arm, waiting for you to accept his dance invitation; you hold on to him gratefully and head back into the main ballroom, realizing this is the first dance of the ball that you’ve truly looked forward to.
When Pero takes his place across from you, the tittering from the crowd that the Barón has finally taken to the dance floor can be heard over the opening notes of the music. You can’t help but giggle, and Pero beams back at you – your light laughter more melodic than any music he’s ever heard.
Hand firmly curling around your waist, Pero sways you to the beat and the two of you carry out the steps of the dance comfortably together. You hadn’t realized how much stress you’ve been under or how much tension you’ve been holding in until now, when you find yourself actually relaxing in Pero’s strong hold. For the first time this evening, you’re dancing without nerves or the pressure of having to make polite conversation or a good first impression; you can simply be. You sigh in contentment.
“What is it, Dulce? Are my dance skills not to the standard set by your other partners this evening?”
“Hardly,” you chuckle, “I know for a fact that you dance remarkably well. And if I were to have any complaints, the blame would rest squarely on my shoulders since we learned these dances together.”
“That’s true, we can only be as good as the partners we practice with.”
“Exactly. At least that’s what Madam used to say, right before she would rap you on your shoulders with her rhythm baton,” you muse, nostalgic.
“That weapon had a name? I have not thought of Madam for many years now, but upon my word if I did not straighten up and stiffen my arms just now.”
You share another chortle as only two close friends with a long history of fond memories and inside jokes between them can. When you sigh again, Pero cocks his scarred eyebrow at you.
“Do not think me dissatisfied, my Lord. It is simply just so comfortable dancing with you, as if it has not been over ten years since we last did so.”
“I feel the same way, Dulce.”
You smile sincerely at Pero; although you could explain yourself further, you somehow know that he understands your meaning without you having to do so. Feeling content, both heart and mood light in the safety of Pero’s closed frame, you find yourself wishing that you could spend the rest of the ball dancing with only him.
I've never done a tag list before so please let me know if it doesn't work, or you don't/do want to be on it, or it sets your phone on fire 😅 @drewharrisonwriter @inept-the-magnificent @tuquoquebrute @titabel
#pero tovar#regency!pero tovar#pero tovar fic#pero tovar fanfiction#bridgerton au#pero tovar x you#pero tovar x f!reader#pero tovar x reader#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#no y/n
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Hİİİİ YET ANOTHER ANON
Can I ask about Creepypasta ages headcanons in your main AU??
THANK YOU FROM NOW <333
HIIIIIIII NEW ANON, YOU'RE SO SWEET<3333
Okay thank you so much for asking, you guys are literally spoiling me, like I'm having a little heart attack whenever someone asks me something.
I don't want this post just be numbers so I'll give a random fact about main characters' most important birthday day and something about non-human characters, hope you don't mind. It's mostly angst and I'm so sorry about that.
YOU'RE WELCOME AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT<333
I know most of the ages sound ridiculous but it's really hard to attach them all together :(
Characters' Ages And Facts About Main Characters' Most Important Birthday
Au's ships: TicciWork, NinaKate, MaryJane and Bloody Angel(probably should've said this earlier)
Current year: 2014
Main characters
-Jeff The Killer: 20
Jeff got burned at the age of 15, at his most important birthday. His parents were seeing a therapist while Liu was still in prison, and his therapist made a suggestion to Jeff's parents to organize a birthday party for cheering Jeff up. Jeff can never forget the day he was burned alive because his whole life was shaped by it. That's why he hates his own birthday and attacks if anyone tries to celebrate besides Liu.
- Clockwork: 20
Clockwork's most important birthday is the 18th age. Because that was the first year she wasn't on her own. Jeff, Toby, Nina were close friends of Clockwork at the time and each had their own small-scale celebration. For the first time, Clockwork didn't hate her own birthday. That's how she got into the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays, if she felt good about something stupid like that, the people who cared about her might also deserve to feel good in a stupid way, or something like that.
- Hoodie: 25
According to Brian, the most important birthday is the one he celebrated at the age of 10. His family had taken him to see a theater as a gift, and little Brian was so impressed that he was literally obsessed with theater performances and musicals after that show. Even though 10-year-old Brian is the reason why he is where he is right now, Hoodie never blames him for following his dream.
- Masky: 26
His most important birthday is the 20th, when he started working under Slenderman's orders. The year he realized that his life would be like this and that he would have to spend more than he hoped in this job, that fighting would only cause him to die sooner. Obviously, he didn't care about himself, he'd rather die than live this way, but he didn't want to leave Brian alone.
- Ticci Toby: 19
15th birthday. The last year he celebrated with Lyra and his mother since he was a proxy at the age of 16, he celebrated rest of his birthdays as a proxy. Toby doesn't remember all of his memories, and although most of the time his memories are more like pieces, he knows that two women named Lyra and Connie are worth worlds to him. And every time the fragments of that birthday come in front of him, he feels nothing but happiness.
-Eyeless Jack: 21
↺Actually, if he was still alive, he would have been 34. Because he was 21 when he died during the ritual in 1980.
The most important birthday is the year he received the letter of admission to medical school at the age of 18. He had received this a letter a few days ago, and he and his family had thrown a big party to celebrate it. Although he spent his 19th birthday, his first year of studying med, with his family, the most important thing for him is his 18th age.
-Jane The Killer: 22
21, when Mary proposed to her on her birthday. Jane was in a very emotionally repressed state after all her trauma, and Mary could no longer control her feelings for her. While Jane and her lover Mary were sitting in a fashionable restaurant, Mary proposed to Jane. And when there was a lot of opposition because the age group was generally old due to the cost of the restaurant, Jane kissed her on the lips so as not to discourage Mary. The best birthday of her life.
-X-Virus: 17
7th age. That year, he had gone to the zoo on a school trip and celebrated his birthday with the animals there instead of people. This is the biggest proof that he prefer animals' existence to humans. Of course, he might have been happier if a monkey hadn't stolen his food, but little Cody wasn't mad at the monkey then. And when the monkey saw that Cody was upset later, he gave him some of his food anyway.
-Nina The Killer: 19
16th birthday. She and Jeff hadn't made up yet and it was a day when she was really hurt emotionally by him. Her close friend Kate, who saw this, tried to kill Jeff. Although Nina could hardly stop her, Kate was convinced later and they went to hang out at Kate's special place together. Kate was a really special friend to Nina, and she liked that she knew that Kate opened herself up so much. And when Kate dropped her home in the evening, she found Toby and Clockwork were clumsily trying to celebrate her birthday, she cried because of cuteness.
-Kate The Chaser: 20
The first year she spent with Nina as a lover, 20th age. They had become lovers a few months ago, and unlike other proxies, Kate did not remember anything about her past, so she had no memories to miss. Nina had known her since she found Jeff at the age of 15 and was after him. They became close friends when Kate was 17 and Nina was 16, and they started dating when Nina was 19 and Kate was 20. Their relationship began when Kate took pity on Nina and helped her, and Nina helped her during difficult times where Kate tried to expertize in proxy work. The year they became lovers, Nina organized a special day just for the two of them, knowing that she wouldn't want a big party, and Kate's favorite moment was when they watched the sunset with one head phone.
Main supporting characters
-Homicidal Liu: 18
-Sally: 13
↺If she was still alive, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1972.
-Ben Drowned: 12
↺If he had continued to live, he would have been 32 years old. He died in 1994.
- Puppeteer: 23
↺ If his heart was still beating, he would have been 37 years old. He died in 2000.
-Zero: 24
-Nurse Ann: 27
↺If her heart had been alive, she would have been 33 years old. She died in 2008.
-Bloody Painter: 17
-Judge Angels: 17
-Mary Vaughn: 22
Supporting characters
-Lulu: 16
-Laughing Jack: 214
↺He was produced in 1800.
-Nightmare Ally: 15
↺If she was still human, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1974.
- Kagekao: 29
↺If he was still a human, he would have been 34 years old. He died in 2009.
-Rouge: 32
-Jason The Toymaker: 134
↺He was produced in 1880.
-Laughing Jill: 114
↺She was produced in 1900.
Background characters
-Slenderman: 2500+(?)
↺It is not known exactly when he was born, some say that there are drawings of him even in ancient Egypt.
- Emra: 25
↺If she was still alive, she would have been 37 years old. She died in 2002.
-Dr. Smiley: 33
-Cat Hunter: 30
-Zalgo: ?
↺It is estimated that his existence endured back even before the earliest times of humanity.
-Weeping Forest: 16
↺If she had not undergone this change, she would have been 56 years old. She died in 1974.
#jeff the killer#creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta headcanon#clockwork#creepy#ticci toby#creepypasta clockwork#creepypasta headcanons#hoodie creepypasta#masky creepypasta#ticci toby creepypasta#nina the killer#kate the chaser#jane the killer#homicidal liu#zero creepypasta#nurse ann#judge angels#eyeless jack#laughing jack#x virus#ben drowned#puppeteer#mary Vaughn#bloody painter#lulu#sally creepypasta#rouge#ninakate
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hey, i hope you don't mind but i kinda need to vent a little bit 😅
as a poc it's making really sad to see that "shipping vaultghoul is racist and erases maximus and barb" is such a prominent anti argument. i don't interact with these posts or these people (because i really don't want to waste my time) but it's like they don't hear themselves. maximus is a protagonist in his own right and has so much shit going on tat has nothing to do with lucy and while barb is a minor character, she's an activate member of a corporation that seeks to end the world for profit (and we get to see her own conflicts towards this) and not just cooper's wife. they're so much more than love interests but they need "special treatment" because their s/o are white 🙄
plus what is this narrow minded type of thinking where once you start to ship a couple all the other relationships become invalid? it's fiction ffs. no one is better than anyone and there's no such thing as a 'supreme ship'
i think the worst thing that came out of fallout shipping discourse is reducing maximus to a love interest of lucy when he is much, much more than that and as you said, a protagonist in his own right! like, can we stop only talking about him in the context of romance with lucy and hype him up as he deserves?! he is so complex and refreshing, he deserves more than being a talking point in a shipping discourse.
and while i mainly ship lucy x cooper, i'm fine with lucy x max and the majority of vaultghoul shippers are too. not to mention that max is like my ideal type of a dude, lol. i crushed on this man so hard while watching the show. so, those of us who ship vaultghoul do not dislike max or think he is boring (there is a difference between finding a character boring and finding his relationship with the other character a bit bland).
tbh, i hope max gets even more development and important storyline points in s2 so that maybe ppl will stop acting like he is just lucy's boyfriend.
and i think it's also weird to dismiss the possibility of max x dane when the representation this relationship could offer is very important. and as an enby myself it would be so validating for me to see the enby character paired up with the main dude (that again, i have a massive crush on).
also, i love barb and her relationship with cooper. she is a cool villain and her & cooper were a hot classy couple. tbh, it's just that ppl rarely get too shippy when it comes to the exes, especially when one is a very minor character. but i'm excited for whatever we get with her in the future.
in the end of the day, i hope the discourse (whether it is about cooper vs max for lucy, the age gap or the human x ghoul thing) won't get too heavy in this fandom bc it will ruin it and make our experiences here full of frustration instead of fun.
i'm personally all for multishipping lucy, the ghoul and maximus with everyone in this series.
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The new one piece chapter has me spiraling sdjkfshf so here's a theory that crossed my mind and is becoming more plausible the more I think about it
Spoilers (obviously) under the cut
The tl;dr is: What if the world of One Piece has always had rising sea levels/sinking land? What if these natural events happen in an 800 year cycle? What if there was way more land (like the real world) before the formation of the World Govt?
I'm not gonna get into the details of why that is bc that is a different mind boggling discussion and it isn't really important here. But if there's always been that threat, it would explain so much about the Void Century and the True History.
As many people have already pointed out, the threat of the world sinking into the ocean explains why Noah was needed. It's a giant ship half the size of Fishmen Island that was meant to be raised to the surface, likely for the inevitable future where there's virtually no land above water. It could be that threat never happened at the end of the Void Century so Noah wasn't needed, but what if it did happen? This would suggest a huge event happened that caused sea levels to rise 800 years ago.
This ties into my next point, that the Great Kingdom was part of land that is now underwater. We've already seen that there's underwater ruins from Jinbe's cover story where Wadatsumi was throwing ruins onto an island, one such ruin being a poneglyph, meaning that kingdom (maybe the land that island was once part of) was either part of the Great Kingdom itself or allied with it. So it wouldn't be a stretch to consider that the Great Kingdom is also currently below the ocean. It would also have made it easier for the World Govt to completely erase the Kingdom from existence, since it was already underwater and inaccessible to most people other than Fishmen. I can't recall if any ruins that are Void Century old have been canonically shown, which would mean either they've been completely destroyed with nothing left, or the areas have been continuously lived in and renovated, or they're in the ocean and the majority of structures currently on land is younger than the Void Century AKA people moved to higher lands when sea levels rose. It could be all the above too! If the Great Kingdom was at risk of sinking, then Noah might have been meant to carry their displaced citizens.
If those during the Void Century knew sea levels would soon rise, it might have been the reason for all the turmoil that started the Great War. Conflicts over limited resources, about who will live and who will die, general fear and anxiety, things like that. The 20 kingdoms that eventually formed the World Govt might have been suspicious about how the Great Kingdom was using their resources and went to war with them. Maybe they were threatened by how much power the Great Kingdom had as they prepared for the natural disaster (ie. the ancient weapons and Noah; from what we know from Egghead, technology was incredibly advanced at the time). Maybe it was just all boiled down to wanting control over a terrifying situation.
If the land sinking into the ocean is a natural phenomenon, then Joy Boy's apology to the Fishmen and mentioning of his return would mean that the event would happen again. Maybe it happens in an 800 year cycle, which explains why Joy Boy (and those sea kings in the Fishmen Arc) knew that Noah was still needed and how he knew exactly when he'd return. It also explains why Rayleigh warned that if he told Robin about the Void Century when the Strawhats first arrived at Sabaody, she "wouldn't be able to do anything about it as she was then." I think I've always assumed this had to do with the formation of the World Govt and how to dismantle it, but it might actually be about how the world is sinking and through following the poneglyphs, one would find the way to save those in danger of being displaced. The Ohara scholars had discovered this, and now Vegapunk is continuing their legacy by making this info public.
And as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that if sea levels rise/land sinks in an 800 year cycle, this might be the "true history" of the world, or at least part of it considering Joy Boy's story made the Roger's Pirates laugh. But it certainly is important and relevant as the wikia site describes! But why would the World Govt try to hide this? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe for the sake of having control over information and thus having power over the world, but there could be so many other reasons. There's hints throughout the story that suggest they're still preparing for a world with almost no land though, such as the Tequila Wolf bridge that's supposed to connect islands together, and the fact that the founding monarchs moved their families to Mary Geoise on the Red Line. Law also stated in Punk Hazard that the Govt has been researching growth hormones to turn humans into giant soldiers, and they've been doing this for centuries. It's possible that the research was really for the capability to walk through parts of the ocean when there's no longer any land above water.
Anyway my brain is fried thinking about all these things lol. There's so many other factors to consider but I'll save that for a later time when I get more sleep sjdkfhsdk
#i hope this all makes sense in the morning LOL#i feel like that always sunny meme#one piece#one piece spoilers#one piece 1113#joy boy
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How do you think canon wolfstar would develop and go? I would love to read one of your metas on this!
Hello! Well, I'm writing this, so I don’t want to spoil it! :D But I think there are a few details that are important to consider if we want to write this ship when they were at Hogwarts (I'm only writing about the years '75 to '81). TW: If you're a very dedicated fan of fanon Wolfstar you may not like it!
Canon Sirius and Remus were never very close emotionally to each other. They became close primarily after Azkaban, as two last Marauders who had lost a lot—two friends, their youth, parts of themselves, etc.
No, Sirius didn’t open up about all his secrets to Remus. No, it wasn’t Remus whom Sirius turned to first in tough situations. And it wasn't Remus who Sirius was willing to do absolutely everything for. And it wasn't Remus for this, that or the other. We shouldn't take away what belongs to James and give it to Remus. Remus isn’t James and never will be.
Everyone gets this, including Remus himself. Sirius always had just one person at the top of his list. Always. Just one. And no one could ever take their place. Remus didn’t even try to.
A jealous, demanding, sulking Remus—that’s just not him.
The fact that Sirius suspected Remus is a massively important detail for their entire pre-Azkaban relationship.
The Prank was never a big deal for the Marauders, but it did affect Remus. However, Remus wasn’t walking around holding a grudge against Sirius, nor did he try to punish him with silence.
No, it wasn’t Sirius who was most concerned about Remus and his lycanthropy. It was James.
Sirius wasn’t drooling over a cool, smart, and handsome Remus because that Remus never existed.
Remus didn’t make the first move towards Sirius. It was Sirius who did.
They didn’t argue and sort things out. They didn’t yell at each other. They didn’t insult each other.
But it was a very hard relationship. It had a lot of good in it, but it was very hard.
In my view, it was Remus who wanted to keep their relationship under wraps. The '70s in the Wizarding World. Besides being a werewolf, he also liked boys. Clearly, that’s not something he’d want to boast about to his friends. He might have been really scared of how James would react. James was a much more authoritative figure for Remus than Sirius. Remus didn’t know anything about what was going on (or not) between Sirius and James.
Sirius and Remus in Wolfstar are revealed in ways they wouldn’t be if there wasn’t Wolfstar.
Wolfstar is a difficult ship, and it’s not about happy love, despite having many good and happy moments. Its tragedy isn't just that the war took everything from them. Wolfstar is difficult because of the characters involved. It’s not a heartbreaking story of two madly in love lovers. The tragedy of Wolfstar is quite mundane and, perhaps, too real.
As Tolstoy said in Anna Karenina, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." "Canon" Wolfstar is meant to show just that. There can’t be two insanely in love happy boys who were just separated by the complexities of war but continued to love each other madly. That's just not Sirius and Remus.
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is this a hot take? the ATLA fandom hyper focuses on zuko and his potential love interests so much that it discredits his character development, his journey of realizing his destiny, his struggles with his mental health and his struggles with non romantic relationships.
i understand he's a fan favorite, and as someone who was a little kid when the show came out i had such a crush on him. i love zuko as much as the next gal but i don't see him for this edgy emo boy with pretty hair and a sick scar appeal. he's an extremely traumatized and mentally unwell child. he's a physically and emotionally wounded person who's made a lot of mistakes while trying to do the right thing, and unlearning everything he's ever known so he can change.
resorting zuko to just being this heartthrob is really dehumanizing. the relationships that are so much more important than any ship are his relationships with his family, his relationship with aang and his relationship with himself. he is farrr too romanticized and glorified by the fandom. the favoritism towards him actually tarnishes all of his progress rather than highlighting it.
#i hope it goes without saying that its perfectly fine to ship zuko with ppl#i just think the shipping and thirsting over him overshadows the most important part of his story#maybe its just the tiktok newgen brand of atla fans#zuko my beloved!#zuko is my buddy whom i love sm but i don't favor him be he's “the hot one” (he's literally a 16 yr old kid)#k speaks#avatar the last airbender#atla theory#atla#zuko#firelord zuko#prince zuko#azula#uncle iroh#fire lord ozai#ursa#princess azula#fire nation#unpopular opinion#atla zuko#hot take
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*911 Spoilers*
Okay, I'm now on season 5 of 911. I've always shipped Buck and Eddie since I started watching the show, but what really "solidified" the ship for me I guess, is the episode where Eddie gets shot, in the end of season 4. The way Buck reacts to the whole thing is so interesting to me because if you look at Bobby, Hen, or Chimney, obviously they're worried about Eddie as friends usually are. But Buck is absolutely devastated, he's full on breaking down because Eddie almost died. And to me that doesn't seem like a just friends kinda reaction, it seems like love. Also at the end of the episode, where Eddie tells Buck that he wants him to take care of Christopher if he ever died. And the fact that Eddie trusts Buck more than his own familly for something that important, AND the fact that Buck has basically been a like a Dad to Christopher since the beginning anyways, is so amazing. The way that Buck and Eddie care about each other so much is just so beautiful to me.
#side note:the way Buck acts in this episode lowkey reminds me a bit of Destiel widower arc#side note 2: excuse any spelling mistakes or bad grammar its past midnight where im at#911#911 spoilers#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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Do you think that Levi has abandonment issues/fears and worries about being a burden to others? I don't know if these count as social anxiety, but there are a few scenes in the anime that I think of as social anxiety.
One of them is in the 3Season when Eren says "little old man" while swinging a fist at Historia's mutated father. I heard Yams say about that scene that Levi thought "I wonder if this is how they see me". I think he was offended.
And what makes me think that he has abandonment or being left behind issues is that both years later when he asks Kenny why he left him, and in the manga when Levi is injured and clinging to the sides and trying to walk and Armin tells him that he shouldn't get up because he's injured, Levi says "if I lie on that thing any longer, you guys will completely forget that I exist". I think this dialog was changed in the anime.
And later on, when the others are fighting, Levi looks at his injured knee and talks about being a burden to them.
I'm sure there are a few more scenes like that but I don't remember them now. But when we add them up, I think it's probably Levi's worry that he's a burden to others in any way, that people might abandon him because he's not good enough. I think it's because of the childhood trauma of Kenny abandoning him as a child. Child Levi was there thinking that Kenny had left him because he wasn't good enough.
I also me too think that Levi doesn't care whether other people like him or not, but on the other hand, I think that he believes that he is worthy of their love by trying to prove that he is a successful person, a useful person in the eyes of the people he cares about. But first of all this is my opinion. Canonically this may not be the case in reality. But I think he cares a little bit about what people think about him. I can say this both for Eren's example and for his height. I think he might be a little insecure about his looks.
I do think Levi has abandonment issues, yes. That's a little different than what I was talking specifically about, which is whether Levi is concerned with coming across as "likable" to others, and adjusting his behavior to make himself seem more likable in social settings. I don't think Levi cares much about that, just like I don't think he cares if he gets any sort of praise or recognition for his heroic acts. He's a hero precisely because he doesn't engage in acts of heroism for himself, but entirely for others.
But I do think Kenny’s abandonment of Levi certainly had an impact on Levi’s sense of self-worth, in the sense that, he taught him that strength was the most important thing, the only thing that mattered, even. But then he abandoned him, and in doing so, sent Levi the message that there was something inherently lacking in him that caused that abandonment.
Levi was strong, he’d fulfilled the requirements for Kenny’s approval, but still he was denied it.
So it had to be something else, something else wrong with Levi that made Kenny leave. His mere existence wasn’t enough to make him worthy in Kenny’s eyes. I think that plays into Levi’s belief that if he has nothing to give, then his own life isn’t worth anything, which is what I think the scene between him and Armin on the ship implies. Levi sees himself as a weapon to be wielded. That's where his sense of self-worth lies, and if he isn't able to be used as a weapon, or a tool, if others aren't able to utilize him to their own benefit, then I think Levi feels his own life holds very little value.
Again, because he fulfilled all of Kenny’s requirements, he lived up to Kenny’s standards of being strong, and it still wasn’t enough. There was something more he needed to be or do in order for his own life to have worth. Simply being who he was wasn’t enough. I think when he discovered that he could use his strength to help people, he also began to believe that his ability to give that strength defined his self-worth. He felt he himself wasn’t enough for other people to value or love, not on his own. It didn’t matter what defined his core personality, it didn’t matter what sort of person he was. But if he could give people something, if he could offer them something, then maybe that was where his value lay.
So Levi's sense of self-worth is wrapped up in his ability to help others.
But I think it's also important to understand that a desire to find a purpose for himself, or a sense of worth in himself, isn’t what drives him to help people, isn't what created that desire in Levi.
What drives him to help people, to be a “hero”, is an innate generosity in him, the sense that, because he has something that no one else does, his exceptional strength, it should be given freely to them. Isayama spoke about this, and I don't have the direct quote on hand, but he said something along the lines of how, if Levi didn't have his great strength, that would make him just an ordinary man, and he wouldn't be responsible for others. But he does have his great strength, and Levi has the sort of innately compassionate and generous personality that won't allow for him to feel okay with the idea of having something others don't and not sharing it. That has nothing to do with his strength, or even with his belief that in order to be loved, he needs to be useful. It has to do with who Levi is, what type of person he is. That’s what makes him a “slave” to his strength, or a slave to being a hero. His genuine belief that the possession of that strength makes him responsible for others. The genuine belief that, if you have something to give, you should give it.
It would be the same as someone who has food, and when they see someone who doesn’t, they feel obligated to give their food to that person, even if it means starving themselves. Levi feels obligated to share what he has. He’s a slave to that obligation. He gives, even when giving what he has is detrimental to himself.
When I say Levi is a slave to that, that’s what I mean. He can’t escape his natural compassion. Similarly, I think, to the way Eren, on an opposing end, couldn't escape his natural dissatisfaction with the world and thirst for upheaval and violence.
It’s why Levi’s attempts to keep his distance from others, to avoid the pain of losing people, never works, because Levi just naturally cares about people, in general, even people he doesn’t know well, or at all. He’s chained down by that natural compassion. He’s a “slave” to it, in the sense that he can’t break free from it. He can’t escape it. No matter how hard he tries, it always drags him back in, and he can’t ever ignore someone in need. He can’t turn away from that. That’s being a slave to heroism. That's what Kenny means when he asks Levi, "What are you, a hero?".
That's why I constantly talk about how selfless Levi is, and the tragedy inherent to that selflessness. He doesn't help people because he wants to feel better about himself, or because he wants recognition, seeking attention as a means to boost his ego or social standing, or even because he wants to be loved. He helps people because of a genuine and pure desire for them to be okay, and feeling with his strength that he has the means to help, he in turn feels he owes it to them to help. Again, that feeling exists in him because he’s an inherently empathetic person. He has a great ability to connect with other people’s feelings, on a fundamental level. So it's important to understand that it isn't Levi's strength that makes him compassionate, or his strength which makes him a hero. It's his heart. Whether he was strong or not, he would still care about people, he would still wish to help people. Kenny believed one could only be compassionate if they were strong, but it's not the ability to help that makes one compassionate, it's the desire. And with Levi, we see that demonstrated at the very end, as he, wheelchair-bond, is still doing his best to better people's lives, and it's got nothing to do with his strength.
Where his sense of self-worth ties into that, and how that self-worth impacted by this feeling of obligation, is that, in his view, his only worth is in his ability to give, in him having something to give, and if he doesn’t, then his life is worthless. That’s also what makes him a tragic figure. He doesn’t realize that his innate empathy and compassion alone make him a worthwhile person. That it makes him an exceptionally good person, even, and certainly one deserving of love. He believes that the mere desire on his part to help isn’t enough to mark him out as a person of worth. He believes that the only thing that would mark him out as such would be him actually being able to help. This is also part of why it weighs so heavily on Levi when he fails to save lives or protect others. Because he views that as a failing on his part to give what he has. It comes into direct conflict with his innate generosity, his natural inclination to give. It registers to him as fundamentally wrong, having this strength, and not being able to use it to the benefit of others. It’s why Levi struggled for so long to understand what his strength was even for, because it never seemed right to him that it would only be for himself.
A good comparison to make, in terms of contrast, is between Levi and Reiner, for example. Reiner wanted to be "recognized" as a hero, and he committed horrific acts toward that end, in the hopes of being made an honorary Marleyan, to be hailed as a hero back home. But Levi doesn't want to be "recognized" as a hero, and he never did. He just feels compelled to heroism because he has something other people don't. Like he’s the custodian of that strength, the keeper of it, but that strength is meant for others, not himself. This flies directly in the face of what Kenny taught Levi. Kenny taught Levi that his strength should only be used for his own survival. That his strength belonged to him and should only benefit him. That’s why I always say Kenny can’t be credited with Levi’s compassion and kindness. Levi came to the conclusion that his strength could be used to help others all on his own. Nobody taught him that. And his innate compassion and generosity renders him incapable of justifying to himself sitting idly by while others are in need. That’s why we see Levi so anxious and restless, for example, during the plan to capture Annie in Trost, or again, when he was bedridden before the final battle, but refused to stay there. That’s where his issues of self-worth tie into his ability to help. He feels it's his duty and responsibility to help, regardless of the consequences to himself, regardless of his actual ability to do so. We see this most clearly demonstrated during the “Battle of Heaven and Earth”, of course, and why he calls himself a "burden" when he's taken out of the fight with his ruined knee. Levi is literally half-dead, and he still fights with everything he has, doing himself further, untold harm in the process, eventually sacrificing his body completely, which is how he ends up in a wheelchair at the end. That’s true selflessness.
I talk about this in regards to Furlan and Isabel, too. Levi would have had an easier time surviving Underground on his own. Helping Furlan and Isabel would have just meant an added burden to his already struggling existence, two extra mouths to feed, two other people to look out for. Levi didn't need them. But he helped them anyway, because he's a selfless person. And again, this isn't something he was taught. He was taught the opposite. That's why I talk so much about Levi's nature, and how his goodness is inherent to his nature.
I said this before, but people always say Levi is a slave to his strength, or a slave to being a hero, because he feels he has to use his strength to help people. But he only feels like he has to use it to help people in the first place because of his natural empathy and compassion. So really, it would be more accurate to say Levi is a slave to his empathy and compassion.
I think Levi does carry some insecurities too, about his height, and, as I said, about his social awkwardness. Kenny called him a "midget" and made some other, derogatory remarks about his height, so we can extrapolate from that that Kenny likely made a habit of verbally abusing Levi in that regard, and Levi probably developed insecurities about his height as a result. And yes, I think the scene where Eren calls Rod Reiss a "little old man", and Levi's feelings regarding that, is indicative of an insecurity on his part. So Levi definitely isn't immune to feeling insecure or self-conscious about certain perceived faults of his, or perceived unattractive qualities. I just don't think we ever see those specific insecurities ever have an actual impact on his actions or behavior in general. He doesn't try to please people, or to gain their approval by acting in ways he thinks will ingratiate him. His low sense of self-worth, though, or his belief that he isn't of value if he isn't able to use his strength to help others, is definitely something we see affect him all the time. I think Levi feels, if he isn't useful in some way, if he isn't able to give something to others, than his life is forfeit and he may as well not even exist.
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9 asks! Thank you!! :}}
Awe! Thank you! I'm so glad you like all the stuff I make! :DD
And thank you again, that means a lot to me 🥹 things are starting to look up, I have hopes that this is all over soon!
I'm very uncomfortable with fanart/fan works being made for me.. So I tend to be rather strict about it not being made! <:/
@chickenmilk120
Well? Why not go for it? :0 You've got nothing to lose! :}
Yeah, since I've been dealing with all these health problems I've had a lot of time to lay around and feel down. :( So I used that time to finally pick up pokemon Scarlet! Which is where this sudden pokemon phase is coming from XD
As for what happened, we still don't know for certain. :( I've got some doctors appointments ahead of me that will hopefully figure out what's wrong and get me all fixed up. <:')
I'm doing everything I can to battle/deal with these health problems I've got going on. All Tumblr is doing is giving me a bit of a mental break/distraction from it all. <:}
@willthemechanist
Nothing in particular, other than a grumpy member of the fam! <XD
I know that I've played up the quilts power and importance, but the truth is the quilts have no real power- they're nothing more than a sentimental accessory <:}}
@olives-in-shadows
:DD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :}}}
Thank you! My days going fairly well so far! :}}
@neo-metalscottic
Thank you so much for all the kind words!! :DD Man could you imagine if I reached 50,000 by the end of the year?? That would sure be something! XDD
So! Onto your questions. The whale encounter with barnacles and the ship wreck encounter with Tweak were both intended to be exclusive to the sea dwellers AU. Though those creatures are intended to exist in my main au, those specific encounters might not happen..
The point of the main AU is that these monsters exist, but the crew have never encountered them. Which casts doubt on Kwaziis stories..
As for the gups, that's a mostly joke-y idea that's not connected to any main AU. :0
As for Bash, it's hard to say what color he'd be all fixed up. The original car was red or purple I think, but that doesn't seem like a color he would want.. maybe red or green instead. Maybe both! XD
As for where'd he'd go post war, I can see him wanting to go back to Cybertron. As long as his friends are there that is :}}
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me: yeah im gonna go to sleep
also me: *proceeds to send my friend 650+ words of pepsisprite analysis*
thinking about john being a literal embodiment of the narrative and davesprite being an embodiment of the game. the game and the narrative are intrinsic to each other's existence, but without each other they would be useless. what's the point of the game if no ones watching, and whats the point of watching if no ones playing? john and davesprite’s relationship sort of mirrors that, davesprite wouldn't exist as a sprite if john had never died, but john WOULD have died if davesprite didnt save him. they're necessary to each other's creation and to each other's continued existence and relevance.
they're the world's shittiest soulmates because their relationship is so riddled with the game and narrative but davesprite and john are tied together in a way which ends up with davesprite always ending up right next to john again. johndirk and pepsisprite are very related what with davesprite mirroring dirk in a bunch of ways, but the difference between the two ships is mainly when they would happen imo. (canon) johndirk can only work postcanon, mostly because they simply don't actually get to meet each other until then, whereas pepsisprite HAS to happen during the game, the 3 year trip to be precise.
all they had were those 3 years together, really, before everything went to shit. obviously they had known each other before then, but that was john and dave. the "real" dave, before the specifications had to be made. it's kinda sad how because of the timeframe that pepsisprite would be able to work out in, they could never actually have a relationship. like they were both dealing with their own issues (most of which never were resolved, not fully) but it mightve fixed them tbh.
thats really why I'm a big fan of back to the beginning post game aus that include the splinters because their stories are never really completely resolved, most of them are sort of just brushed away or swept into something new (e.g. davepeta)
also going back to what I said earlier on how johndirk mirrors pepsisprite in a way, it does! but there's a lot of nuance to the situations? davesprite is more like bro than dave is, thus making him more like dirk, but he's still a dave yknow. pepsisprite is actually a closer parallel to jakehal, especially by the end of the boat trip with the vaguely antagonistic relationship the two of them have.
actually i think they should be kismesis sometimes as a treat. john has so much emotion and anger built up and having somewhere to vent out that frustration would probably be really good for him. at the same time, though, they're also moirails because john and dave are quite literally the closest humans can get to moirallegiance. john and davesprite transcend quadrants in the actual definition of it, embodying the quads all at once instead of vacillating.
davekat (a ship most people consider to embody all quads) sort of does something similar, however a lot of the time their characterization is of vacillation between redrom and blackrom vs where pepsisprite is happening simultaneously.
davesprite *is* proud of john and he does really love his friends, however because of the trauma he went through growing up (which was later reinforced by all the shit that went down in the game) he can only express so "ironically" or backhandedly, and john is so repressed to hell and back that *he's* not even sure what emotions he's feeling half the time
I think the fact that the two of them can so effortlessly communicate despite all that, though, really shows you their relationship. john can see the genuine in davesprite's "ironic" statements, and davesprite can pick out john's feelings through all the happy freedom bullshit. they communicate so well despite everything because they're best friends and because they've known each other so long. davesprite is important to john just like john is important to davesprite, and they always end up right back next to each other.
#john egbert#davesprite#johndavesprite#pepsisprite#homestuck#hs meta#homestuck meta#they never leave my fucking brain y'all
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Alien Day falls in Lesbian Visibility Week, so that means I need to write for the lesbian Crowlien au because we love monster women here. Even though this story technically takes place before Aziraphale mutates into an alien.
I just wanted to write a little soft fluff with them before shit happened. Even if there is mentioning of what happens post-alien encounter.
On with the fic!
--
Crowley was grinning as she crossed through the ship's halls, looking for the medical wing. She had something hidden behind her back as she slipped past an irritated looking Furfur, nearly dropping it when he almost tripped her. "Whoa! Who pissed in your cornflakes?" She sniffed, giving him a look.
Furfur looked back at her, clucking his tongue. "Just the annoying, forgetful redhead who, once again, left me doing her job!"
Crowley blinked, then considered what he meant. "You went and fixed the issue with the lights in med bay?"
"Yes. Which your... wife kept trying to get you to fix!" He spat the word 'wife' out as if it tasted terrible. God, he was never going to get over Crowley rejecting him, is he? "Apparently she'd been trying to contact you all morning, and you didn't answer any of her calls."
"Was busy with that repair job Gabe's was bitchin' about at dinner last night, the one he told me I had to do first thing in the mornin', remember?" Crowley stuck out her tongue at him. "Anyway, I need to go and see my wife about something more important than the malfunctionin' lights in the keyboard of her computer! Ta~!"
She cackled and ran to Aziraphale's office, slapping the door button, watching it slide open.
Aziraphale was inside, typing away at her computer with just her index fingers. It's amazing how much of an old lady she could be, even at her age, it was so cute. She seemed so focused on whatever she typing that she hadn't noticed Crowley or the door opening.
Crowley chuckled softly, leaning against the door frame, waiting for her wife to finally notice.
In three... two...
"Oh! Darling!" Aziraphale looked up, smiling brightly. "I didn't hear you come in!"
"Course not, too busy doin' nerdy medical stuffy, eh?"
"Hush you." Aziraphale replied, then pouted. "Where were you? I've been trying to contact your communication device all morning! Did you forget to charge it again?"
"One, no, it was charged, remember? You saw me plug it in. Two, just call it a comm, angel, no one calls it a 'communication device'." Crowley moved from the door, hearing it shut behind her, hands still kept behind her back as she approached the desk.
"And I was fixin' that thing for the captain, cause if I didn't, you know he'd hound me for it all fuckin' day."
"Ah, that is true." Aziraphale said, then glanced to the side, trying to see what Crowley was hiding. "What's that?"
Crowley grinned. "Do you know what day it is?"
Aziraphale blinked owlishly behind those little glasses she wore when reading. "Tuesday?"
"Well, yes, but the date?"
"It's August..." She glanced at her calendar, then gasped. "It's my-!"
"Happy birthday!" Crowley shouted, holding out the yellow gift bag she had been trying to keep hidden.
Aziraphale stood up, looking so excited as she walked around the desk. "Oh, you clever snake, you didn't have to get me anything!"
"Too late, got it right before we left, so I clearly can't take it back! WAAAAYYYY past the thirty day return limit!"
The doctor laughed and kissed Crowley on the cheek before taking the bag, looking inside. "Oh, oh Crowley..." She pulled out a book, one that was clearly old, but in a very well-kept condition. "Is this...?"
"A first edition copy of Persuasion? Your favorite book? It might be."
"Darling, this is just... it's too much!"
"Nothing is too much for my wife, my favorite person, my beloved angel." Crowley smiled, holding her close, kissing her neck. "Do you like?"
Aziraphale set the book and bag on her desk, then leaned into the hold, kissing her right on the lips. "I love it. I love you. You make me so happy."
Crowley kissed her on the forehead. "Good, when you're happy, I'm happy. I love you too, angel."
--
Crowley looked at the pages in front of her, having paused mid-sentence in her reading aloud of the book. She heard the soft sounds of Aziraphale sleeping, felt the warm, moist breath through those terrifying teeth against her shirt where her wife was resting her head.
She grabbed for the bookmark nearby, slipping it into place, then closed the book. She looked at the cover, seeing the single word of the title. It was still in good condition, minus tiny tears from where Aziraphale had tried to grab it in her clawed hands.
It bothered her to not be able to hold her precious books anymore, but Crowley was there to do that, to help her enjoy them by reading the stories aloud. Granted, Crowley didn't often like the books Aziraphale enjoyed, some of them were so gloomy, but it made her wife happy, and that's what Crowley enjoyed most.
She sighed softly, setting the book aside, looking at bone-white locks of messy hair, at a face that seemed more like a skull than the cherubic face she was used to, but she still saw her wife there, that beautiful angel she married.
Things would never be like that birthday when Aziraphale got her book, when it had been such a good day, only for things to go to shit just two weeks later.
But that was alright, Crowley still had Aziraphale, even if she was a bit different than before. Her angel was happy, even like this, and that meant Crowley was happy.
--
Something sweet, before all hell broke loose.
Also, yes, Crowley reads to Aziraphale now, it's so hard for her to do it herself.
Oh, I really like the idea that Furfur has feelings for Crowley, who has been married to Aziraphale for years. Sir, move on, you're never gonna get the girl. (Also, you die anyway, but still).
#good omens#ineffable wives#ineffable spouses#crowlien au#anthony j crowley#crowley#aziraphale#john's drabbles
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Alright, I've been sick and my brain was soup, so this is a little late, BUT-
I can't help thinking about the season finale and how anime only's must be processing the contents of season six.
Despite well reasoned fears, Bones handled this season with great care towards bkdk. For those of us who read the manga, that was our focus this season: seeing how Bones would handle it. Because we already knew what was coming. We had that content for over a year, and now were just seeing it become animated. But for anime only's, the story had "changed".
We have to consider the average watcher. Most people don't start a show over from the beginning every single time a new season comes out. Hard to imagine, I know, but you have to factor that in. Because for people who passively watched MHA up to this point, this season was their turning point. It's when the story stopped having any airs of light heartedness.
If you go back to the beginning and watch now, you see all the signs, you see the foundation Horikoshi set, you see the subtext. But if you were just mindlessly watching the latest popular shonen anime, you might not have seen all the foreshadowing- for the overall plot or for bkdk.
And if you didn't see it coming, then there's no buffer. The break between season 5 and season 6 was lengthy, and a lot of people discounted season 5 thinking it was slow and weird and off, when really it was just setting the stage. But again, if you didn't see that coming then how do you react to season 6?
All of this brings me to my point. Horikoshi wrote a story that calls out all sorts of societal and political unease. He wrote about every type of discrimination under the sun and has set a foundation which his characters can stand on and call out issues in our real everyday lives. Racism, homophobia, corrupt leadership, individual selfishness vs. serving a community, lack of support for the disabled, and so much more. And we've seen that. But for a lot of people, they are just seeing it now. And it is the average watcher that these messages need to reach the most. And I can't help but wonder- did it? Is it? Is it reaching them?
The reason I love MHA so much, is because, at the end of the day Kohei Horikoshi, looked at the world and didn't like what he saw. He was just one person and didn't know if he could change anything but decided to try. He took the darkest parts of our world, turned to his art and tried to speak to that darkness from it. He had no idea what would happen. Now he possesses one of the top shonen series of all time, his reach is vast, and people are listening.
You might look at bakudeku and think it's just another fanatical anime ship. But these boys, and the rest of the characters as well, are standing at the edge of history.
Representation within media has power. We've all been influenced by media whether you want to admit that or not, whether you see it or not. I promise you your life has been more touched by media than you could possibly imagine. And it definitely has not been for the better. This is how discrimination proliferates. But now we have a series that aims to give us something new, something a lot of us have never had before. Hope.
And damn, I hope it reaches them.
#bakudeku#bkdk#season finale thoughts#its only going to get worse next season#can you imagine having two gay leads in a shonen anime#the impact that would have#i want to see it#i dont even want to blink#this is so much more important than a ship#representation matters#representation matters in main stream media#i trust horikoshi#history in the making#dekubaku#dkbk#katsudeku#decchan#bakugo x midoriya#katsuki x izuku#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#bnha#mha#💚🧡#🧡💚#dumpling rants#🥟
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sorry kirk and spock’s love for each other is written into the narrative. as if it’s my fault.
#since the companion video is making the rounds again#like yeah. sorry that by kirk's own definition of love he's in love with spock. sorry.#feeling like he's a part of you? check#more important than anything? well he loses his career and his ship just to bury the man. so. check#sorry that the enterprise and kirk are implied as being inherently linked. as if kirk's one true love is the ship.#and not only does he destroy that ship#but spock is 'at home nowhere except starfleet' and 'sees the enterprise as his whole world'#sorry if the vulcan who can't lie and follows rules to a t will lie and break rules for kirk. sorry.#as if any of this is my fault.#'he's trying to contact the vulcan. this species is capable of much affection. i wonder if they'll show it to us.'#sorry. as if i can do anything about that.#'you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine warm decent feeling.' 'really doctor?' 'i know. i'm worried about jim too.'#'i have been and always shall be yours.'#as if i wrote those myself. sorry.#feeling normal tonight.#kirk#spock#spirk#tos#sam's thots
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I am so normal about the possibilities of how the world where the promise isn't unfulfilled looks
#im going more crazy about jean and neil being raven partners than about jerejean#this might be my favorite platonic ship ever and it exists only in what ifs and between the lines and isn't even that important#because neil doesnt even consider it#is may be the onesidedness or the betweenthelinesness that makes me think about it that much but i am so so close to writing a fic about it#and i do not write fics so it should say sth about me#aftg#all for the game#tsc#the sunshine court#once again i am asking you DO THEY HAVE A SHIP NAME??#jeaneil#???
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How do I even begin to explain to allos that the reason I'm frothing at the mouth whenever I think about two characters is not because I want them to kiss but rather because they're fundamentally parts of each other and they simply cannot exist as they are without each other?
#yes this is once again about holly and artemis#the most aspec ship to ever aspec idec#but also about other ships#...most of which i invented for my original fiction bc i love this dynamic so damn much but my point stands#it's not my fault media won't provide me with good aspec content smh#i have to do everything myself#holly short#artemis fowl#royai#they're a special case bc i do in fact want them to kiss a little bit but their bond is so much more important to me than any kiss#fma#i'll add as i remember them#aspec#aromantic#asexual#lgbtq
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