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silentglassbreak · 4 months

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Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

!!!There is finally smut in this chapter!!!!

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying, this is a work of fiction. All of my words are my own. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess

Part 5 - Bad Decisions

Three months and three days, since I had met Noah Sebastian. Since he had walked into my group, reserved and exhausted, ready for a change. Three months and one day since I had agreed to be his sponsor. Since I had taken on the role of maintaining his sanity and sobriety with him. Three months exactly since Noah kissed me, causing me to pull back on our relationship.

I had given myself a silent rule that I never told Noah: we did not meet in person, outside of group, unless it was dire. So far, we had not gotten to that point.

He called me often, needing support. We talked on the phone, sometimes for only a few minutes while he panicked, I calmed him down, and he focused on breathing. Sometimes, we talked for a long time. I suspected he called me at times, out of pure boredom.

Two weeks after his show in Hollywood, he finally told the members of the band that he had began AA. As I suspected, they were all very supportive, most notably, Nick Ruffilo, his best friend since childhood. He even brought Nick to our last 'Loved Ones' session, where we asked everyone to bring someone in their lives who supported their recovery. Some people only brought their sponsors, but some brought their husbands, wives. Girlfriends. I always brought Laura.

I met Nick that day. He was polite, had the most charming smile, and shook my hand respectfully.

"You're the famous Leena, huh?" Noah had been talking to Syd when Nick approached me.

"Famous?" I quirked my eyebrow. He smiled brightly.

"You've kept my boy straight for a whole month."

I nodded in understanding. As fate may have it, the day Nick came to group, was the same day Noah had earned his 30-day coin. He had earned himself a large round of applause, as well as his favorite flavor of cupcakes in class. Red velvet, cream cheese frosting, graham cracker dust. I'll never forget, I asked Laura to make them.

Nick cared deeply for Noah, I could see it. I knew the other members, Folio and Jolly, did as well, but I believed Nick was his best source of support.

I broached the subject with Noah about a week later of Nick being his sponsor. I saw the look on his face while he sipped on his coffee, group having just ended.

"Oh, I didn't even think about it." He was looking at the ground, something he regularly did when he was uncomfortable.

"I mean, it was just an idea?" I tried to stay warm, comforting. Noah didn't always go for that. He had his moments where he felt patronized, and preferred I be straight with him. Usually when he was in a bad mood.

"I could ask him, I guess." He still wouldn't look at me.

I sighed, quirking my lips in a smile. "You don't have to. I'm happy to keep being your sponsor, Noah."

He looked at me finally, through his lashes. "You just know how to pull me back from the brink. He doesn't."

I nodded in understanding. "Guess you're stuck with me then." I beamed at him, earning a smile back.

Today, Noah was earning his 90-day coin, right before he leaves for tour. He got to go first in group, discussing his experience through recovery. He also got his special cupcakes, Laura turning up special to deliver them by hand. He was like a kid in a candy store, nearly hopping up and down when she handed him his special cupcake, bigger than the rest. He was ever thankful that she was a talented baker, promising to bring him and the band cupcakes during their tour dates here in LA.

The band had added 17 additional tour dates, beginning the tour in the summer instead of fall. They would have three months off from June to September, and would head to Europe in December. The success of the band was exciting, and stressful all the same for Noah. I saw the toll it took.

Two weeks ago, he finally told his girlfriend about his recovery. We didn't talk about Lily often at all, but he definitely did not want to discuss that subject. I gathered that it did not go well. All I learned was that she told him she needed space, and backed out of tagging along on the first part of the tour with them. She promised to catch up in September.

I saw how this affected Noah, and his sad days had been more frequent lately. Seeing him happy to be receiving his coin was a relief.

"Can I make a request for my 90-day?" He sat in his regular chair, directly across the circle from me, his too-dark eyes on mine.

"Within reason." I responded with a suspicious grin.

"Can you tell me one thing about you that I don't already know?" Everyone in group looked directly to me, including our two newcomers. All eyes seemed confused. As was I.

"Like what?" I crossed my legs, trying to hide my uncomfortable posture.

"Anything."

I blinked, my head swirling. Something he didn't know? We had learned quite a bit about each other over the last three months. In group or on the phone, we had played twenty questions more than once.

"Well," I sighed, knowing that my confession would be news to everyone, as I never talked about it. "my sponsor is my Dad."

He looked taken back, not expecting that. "Really?"

I nodded coolly. "Yep. Since I got sober three years ago." I relaxed a bit in my chair. "He's the reason I got sober."

Noah sat back and folded his arms, intent on listening to me. He gestured for me to continue.

"At 25, I was set down the worst road. I had been actively drinking since I was 16, and really struggling since 18. I dropped out of college, went through job after job, ended up in jail a few times. And that's the mild stuff. I won't bore you all with the gruesome details." I glanced around the room. The only person who knew even half of my story was Abel, and he was unfortunately not here today, so I felt vulnerable.

"My mother was an alcoholic, who died when I was very young from her addictions." I could feel tears threatening to come to the surface. My throat was forming a lump I just couldn't swallow. "My Dad, who swore to never drink again after she died, decided that once I hit rock bottom, to take me to her gravesite."

I looked down at my hands, feeling my voice shake. "He had purchased a plot for me right next to her when I turned 21, because he swore I would be with her sooner rather than later."

One traitorous tear spilled down my cheek, and I wiped it away feverishly. "So I had him drive me to a meeting. He stayed with me. Came with me to every single one."

I laughed at the thought. "He would sit in the car and listen to Country music while he waited. And every time I fell off, he drove me right back. He's my rock. He's the reason I'm alive."

I was still looking at my hands when I heard the clapping. My head snapped up to see Noah, his hands clapping together before everyone else joined. It was a liberating moment, but I was still vulnerable.

I checked my watch, noticing that we were over on our time.

"Thank you, everyone." The applause died down. "I appreciate each and every one of you. Unfortunately, we've got to get out of here before Angie comes in and rips me a new one."

At home, Angel and I were curled up on the couch, enjoying our favorite movie (it was my favorite, so it was his favorite by default), Silent Hill. I was tossing him single popcorn kernels as I ate and watched intently.

"See, baby, this is the part where all of the piece of shit cultists get what they deserve!" He looked at me with his honey brown eyes, clearly understanding every word I said.

My ringtone went off, and I almost ignored it, because we were so close to the end, and figured the call could wait until after. That is, until I realized it was Noah's ringtone. I had switched his a while ago to a song by his own band, so I knew when it needed to be answered at any cost.

I rushed over to the kitchen counter, not even bothering to pause the movie.

"Hello?"

"I need a fucking drink, Leena." His voice was cracked, and sounded wet. Was he...crying?

"No, you don't." My immediate response anytime he said that.

"No Leena, I'm driving to a bar. I can't fucking do this."

The panic rose in my chest, threatening to spill in the form of vomit. No, not now. Not after we've worked this hard.

"Noah Sebastian, I will kick you out of group."

"Who fucking cares?" I scoffed.

"Uh, you do, apparently. You called me."

"Mostly just calling to let you know I'm a fucking failure. So, sorry to waste your time."

My mouth worked faster than I could stop it. "Come to my place."

He was quiet. "Nah, bar sounds better."

"Noah, come see me. Please. And if you still want a drink afterwards, then I won't stop you."

I could tell he was perusing this. "You don't ever see me outside of group, remember?"

"Well, fuck that for right now. Come see me."

He groaned. "Leena, it's midnight. You should be asleep."

"Yet, I'm awake. 3AM ice cream, remember?"

There was silence, only the sound of a blinker in the background.

"Where do you live?"

Without answering, I dropped him my location pin.

"Says I'm ten minutes away." I sighed a breath of relief.

"Door's unlocked."

Despite my telling him to come in, he knocked. Angel stood at attention, to which I instructed him to sit and stay. I opened the door to find a soaking wet Noah. I didn't even realize it was raining.

He looked awful. Clearly had been crying, his clothes soaked through from the storm. I grabbed his arm and hastily pulled him in to avoid any more weather getting hold of him.

"Jesus Christ, dude." He just stood in my doorway, staring at me.

A low growl left Angel, bringing our attention to him.

"Angel, come." Robotically, he came to me and I pointed to Noah. "Let him smell you. He's protection trained."

Noah raised a brow. "What kind of dog?"

"He's a mutt. Bluetick Hound and Husky. 90 pounds of death if he doesn't like you."

I saw Noah stiffen slightly as Angel sniffed his legs, shoes, and hands. Once he was satisfied that he was safe, Angel stepped back.

"Go to bed." I pointed to the room and he took off, following the command.

"Hm, good dog." Noah's tone was surprised.

"I live alone in LA, I've got to do something to protect myself."

He nodded and stepped onto the tile floor after me toward the hallway. I noticed how wet he was.

"Wait here. I'll get you some dry clothes."

He looked at me incredulously. "You think they'll fit?"

I rolled my eyes. "Wait here."

I returned two minutes later with a pair of men's sweats and a faded Disturbed t-shirt. "They're my brother's. I'm sure they'll fit."

He nodded in appreciation and I pointed to the bathroom.

He returned moments later, soaking clothes in hand. I walked over and grabbed them from him and walked further down the hall to my laundry room. Checking the many pockets on his pants, I threw his clothing in the dryer and started it.

Padding back into the living room, I waved him over to the couch. We both sat on opposite ends, me leaned back, pulling the throw over myself, him dropping his head into his hands.

"You want to talk about it?" He just shook his head. I pursed my lips. "You want to watch a movie?" He looked up at me from over his shoulder.

"Like what?"

I smiled, picking up my remote. "Well, I just finished Silent Hill, but I've got all the streaming networks, so I can get anything."

He furrowed his brows. "Silent Hill? Like, the game?"

My jaw dropped. "You've never seen the movie?"

He just shook his head. "Can't say I have."

"Well fuck, let me just restart it."

He snorted. "Didn't you just watch it?"

"It's my favorite movie, ever. I'll watch it again."

He sat up straight, then leaned his back on the couch. I reached behind me on the side table, grabbing another blanket and chucking it at him. He smiled a small, sad look at me, and unfolded it over his lap.

During the movie, Noah's demeanor loosened ever so subtly. He started with his back against the couch, arms in his lap, looking unamused. By the first call of the Darkness, he was leaning forward, paying closer attention. At the first sight of Pyramid Head, he was interested. And by the hospital scene, he was asking questions.

"I still don't understand, why does Sharon look like Alessa? And why did the little girl say she was burning?"

"Would you be patient?! We're literally getting to that part right now!" He shook his head and leaned back, crossing his legs underneath him and his body moved slightly closer to my legs that were outstretched on the area between us.

His leg bumped my foot, and he looked over, noticing I was glancing at him.

"Oh, my bad." He scooched back to his side, and I snickered.

"I'm not going to combust if you touch my foot Noah, it's no biggie."

He smirked, mischievously. "Well, in that case." He then stretched his giant self out across the couch, pulling my legs up over his legs. He nestled in, pulling the blanket up to his chest.

It was at this point that I actually noticed.

"Hold the fucking phone." I quickly paused the movie and his head snapped to me.

"What?"

"You cut your fucking hair?!" His hair was easily eight inches shorter, sitting just below his ears. How it took me this long to notice is beyond me.

He laughed nervously, and ran his hand through his locks. "Yeah, after group, I went and got it cut. Felt like I needed a change."

I smiled brightly, reaching over and tousling it. "I like it. It suits you."

He leaned back, his face appreciative.

I played the movie, and he was absolutely enamored. It was always fun watching someone experience this movie for the first time.

Once the credits began to play, his eyes were much brighter. "Are you tired?"

I shook my head. "Nah, not right now."

"Want to watch another one?"

I stood up. "Sure, but I've got to pee and grab a water bottle. You want one?"

He nodded, swiping the remote and scrolling through the networks to find another movie.

I called Angel to his bed in the living room, and took care of my business. When I returned, he had 13 Ghosts pulled up on the screen.

"Can we watch my favorite now?" I smirked.

"Absolutely, it is also one of my favorites."

He pressed play, and I walked past him, my thigh catching the edge of the couch, causing me to stumble toward the coffee table.

Before I could connect with the glass, his arm was around my arm, pulling me back toward the couch. I landed square in his lap. It took me a second to process. He smiled at me nervously.

"Sorry, didn't want you getting a concussion."

I slid off his lap, but was now seated closer to him, by side nearly pressed against his chest. He turned his attention back to the TV, throwing his blanket over the both of us casually.

I pulled my bare legs up under the blanket, now very aware that all I wore was a pair of too-short gym shorts, a plain white t-shirt, and socks. I was home alone earlier, in my defense. My knee was pressing into the side of his leg, but he didn't seem to notice.

His body radiated so much heat, I instinctively sunk down further under the blanket. His gargantuan arm was draped over the back of the couch, the back of my head pressed against it.

I let myself get into the movie for a while. We made it about half an hour in before I felt him shift. He stretched his legs in front of me, now in near full laying position. His arm tugged my shoulder and I looked at him.

His eyes were honest, or so it seemed. "It's just cuddling. I haven't had anyone to cuddle with in a while."

I pondered this for a moment. My brain screamed against it, told me it was wrong and I knew where this could go. But he was so warm. He was so comfortable. I slid down, stretching my legs over his, my chest laying on his. My face had nowhere to go but on his collarbone while I tried desperately to watch the television.

Something tugged at me, which I tried to ignore for a while. I couldn't for too long before I piped up.

"How would your girlfriend feel about us 'just cuddling'?"

I felt his chest still, his breathing stopped for a beat.

"She dumped me." I snapped my head up

"What?"

He sighed, not looking back at me. "Why do you think I needed a drink?"

"Oh, Noah." I moved to sit up, but his arm around my waist held me in place while he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Can we please just...not?" When he looked back at me, he had a single tear trying to escape from the corner of his eye.

"Okay." I softly responded and gently leaned back down. His arm secured me in place, while the movie continued to play.

About halfway through, I felt my eyelids getting heavy. His fingers that were holding my waist had been drawing small circles on my back for a few minutes, and I was fading quickly. The warmth, the comfort. He wasn't the only one who hadn't cuddled in a while.

"Are you asleep?"

This roused me. "Hmm? No. Just comfortable." My voice was raspy with sleep, my eyes only half open.

His chest shook with the rumble of a laugh. "You want me to head home?"

I slightly shook my head. "Warm." His hand rubbed up my arm now, coming to rest on the cap of my shoulder. I heard a low humming sound, and realized it was him, humming a tune that I couldn't place.

"It should be illegal to be able to sing that good." This made him snicker.

"Too bad, huh?" I sighed, relaxing. "Maybe if I wasn't so talented, you'd actually like me."

This made me slowly lift my head, narrowing my eyes at him. "You are an insufferable human Noah Sebastian." He smiled a goofy grin at me. "I am trying to relax, here."

His hand came up to brush my hair from my face, his eyes locked on my tired ones.

"You're really beautiful Mileena, you know that?"

I raised my eyebrows, my eyes getting wider. He didn't seem fazed, just studying my face.

"Well...thank you?"

His fingers twirled some stray bands of my hair while his eyes just would not leave mine.

"Would you hate me if I kissed you?"

My stomach bottomed out. I was awake. All the way awake, now. I sighed heavily.

"We can't do that, Noah."

He bit his bottom lip.

"Can't, or won't?"

"Both?"

I rolled onto my side then, slightly breaking the contact between us. He was sat with his head propped on the pillow at the end of the couch. He kept his arm on my waist, but raised himself up just enough to nearly tower over me.

"Would you tell me to stop again?"

He was testing me. I was going to fail if he didn't stop. He felt it.

"Probably."

"Would you make me leave?"

"Is this why you came over? Girlfriend dumps you, so you figure you'd come hook up with your sponsor?" Okay, maybe that came out a little sharper than I intended. But it needed to be said.

"I wasn't planning on coming here. I was set on the bar."

I sighed. He was right. He was on the brink, and I invited him in. Practically begged him.

"Noah, I just...we can't."

His hand reached up to cup the side of my neck, his eyes now fixated on my mouth. I caught the tip of his tongue dart out over his bottom lip.

"Would you make me leave?" He repeated his question.

I didn't answer him, I just stared. I couldn't hide the want on my face anymore. I could feel my eyes pleading with him to just do it. Just make the move, because I couldn't.

With the luckiest break I've had in a while, he read my thoughts, and dipped his face down to brush our lips together.

This was different. This wasn't hungry. It was a hot burn, slow and steady. His hand came up to brush against my face, pulling me just close enough for him to press his face closer, solidifying the kiss.

Once I had the nerve, I moved my lips against his, my body melting against him. We moved slowly, our tongues only trying to make short appearances to taste the other's lips. His kisses on my lips slowed, his hand running down the side of my body, stopping to rest on my hip. Noah's lips began to trail off of my mouth, moving down to my neck, leaving soft kisses over my throat, making my breathing stop altogether.

I'm not entirely sure how long we stayed this way, his lips leaving trails of warmth over my jaw, neck, and collarbone.

I finally reached for him, my arm searching for the hem of his shirt, slipping underneath. My fingers grazed his skin, feeling the solidity of his frame. I felt him breathe out a sigh when I began leaving kisses on his neck. I let the tip of my tongue trace his adam's apple, smiling when the grip on my hip tightened with a nip of his skin.

After he had been tormented enough, he slipped his arm around my waist, flipping to perch over me, laying me flat on my back.

The kiss that came now was burning, hungry, and wild. My fingers pulled at his shirt, lifting it until he had to sit up and pull it over his head.

He wasted no time coming back to attack my neck, nipping and biting carefully, but enough to have me whimpering. He slid one hand up my side, beneath my shirt, and grazed the side of my breast, waiting for a reaction. I arched my back, trying to beg for touch.

His fingers grabbed my entire breast with one hand, pinching my hard nipple and rolling it between his fingers. I gasped at this.

"Oh, Noah..." I heard him hum, a sign of approval.

My hands grabbed his hair, pulling him back to my face. I kissed him while he used his other hand to lift my shirt, exposing both breasts.

It took no time for him to work his way down, taking my nipple in his mouth, leaving me breathless. His tongue circled the hardened bud, driving me absolutely wild.

I could feel his excitement pressing into the inside of my thigh, so I squirmed, causing a friction I'm sure he noticed. I felt the growl more than heard it.

His hand slid up my thigh, stopping on the inside, just before the hem. I could feel myself shaking in anticipation. He hooked the edge of my shorts, and with no mercy, pulled them down viciously, exposing my plain black cotton panties.

His hand glided over my core, feeling how damp the fabric already was. I was breathing heavily, silently begging for more.

"Jesus Christ, Leena." His mouth reached down and kissed my breast again. "So fucking wet."

His words had my brain scrambling. I hadn't been intimate in so long.

His fingers traced over the wet spot, teasing me until I was sure I was going mad.

"Noah..." His eyes looked up to me, my left nipple glistening from his saliva. "Fucking please."

The smile on his face was so wicked, I swear I saw the devil behind it. And this was my one-way ticket to hell. At least it's warm there.

His fingers slipped under the fabric, running up and down over my slit, nearly hitting that one spot I needed.

"This? This is what you want?" His tone was deadly, which had me reeling even harder. I fucking needed him.

I could only nod wildly. His index finger slipped inside, curling at just the right angle, hitting the sweetest spot, I could've burst right then and there.

"That's it. Good girl." His words had me moaning softly, his fingers working me over. Noah continued this until I was nearly seeing stars, his thumb now rubbing circles over my clit. I was ready, so fucking ready, eyes shut tight, climbing the hill and about to fall over. Then it was gone.

My eyes burst open, nearly ready to complain before I felt his hands pulling my panties down, his hot breath just centimeters from my core.

"I can't tell you how many times I've thought about this, Leena. I'll bet you taste incredible." Breathing was out of the question. Air no longer existed.

And that was it, he was on me. His tongue lapping up my pussy, humming while I gripped his hair frantically.

"Holy fuck, Noah."

"That's it baby. Scream my name. Be good for me."

My brain was no longer firing on any cylinders. I was on another plane altogether.

His lips latched onto my sweet spot and sucked like his life depended on it.

"Noah, oh my god! Oh my god, I'm going to come." My back arched off the couch, and my vision went white.

"Noah, Noah, Noah!" My voice was going hoarse. My toes curled and I began to feel the overstimulation, my hips bucking against him.

His arms pinned my legs down, leaving me nowhere to go. I fought for purchase against his skin.

"Please, please I can't. I can't!" He finally released me, lapping at my inner thigh one more time, causing me to shiver.

He sat back, a satisfied grin on his face.

When I looked up at him, I could see the clear bulge in the sweats, and smiled my own wicked grin.

I saw the confusion on his face before I sat up, simultaneously pushing him back on the couch, ripping the front of the pants down. It came to my attention that he wasn't wearing any boxers, so his cock sprung free instantly.

His eyes were fixed on me while I sized up his length, trying to work out how I was going to swallow this damn thing.

I slid the tip of my tongue across the top, eliciting a hiss from his lips. He stared down at me, watching my every calculated move.

With no warning, I wrapped my lips around him, and took him as far down as my throat would allow.

"Oh, fuck..." His eyes went half-masked, his mouth falling open. "Do that again. Jesus Christ."

It didn't sound like a question, so I diligently obeyed. My throat gave out about halfway down his length, causing me to gag. His hand grabbed my hair, nails in my scalp, holding me there.

"Yeah, baby. That's it." He let my head up, saliva dripping from my lips. "You're so good, Leena. Such a good girl."

His hand pressed me back down gently until I had a good rhythm going, my head bobbing, eyes looking up at him.

"Fuck, girl, I'm not going to last like this." I hollowed my cheeks, increasing the suction, and his eyes bulged.

His head flew back, his chest heaving wildly. "Just like that, baby. Don't stop."

I obeyed, suddenly really enjoying the submissive role. His hand guided me faster until I felt him harden to nearly stone.

"I'm going to come, don't stop...fuck don't fucking stop baby."

I felt the first hot stream hit the back of my throat, and I relaxed, waiting for the rest before sucking just a second longer, listening to him hiss in response. I let him out of my mouth with a pop, smiling at him sheepishly when I sat up.

He laid there, eyes closed, hands on his chest, working to breathe.

It took a while, but he eventually opened his eyes. His smile was lazy, and he lifted an arm to pull me down, now laying on his chest again.

He reached behind me and flung the blanket over us, kicking his pants the rest of the way off, and looked down at me.

"We shouldn't have done that, huh?"

I blushed, nuzzling my nose into his neck to hide it as best as I could. "No, we shouldn't have."

He ran his hand up and down my arm, now turning his attention back to the movie that was still playing.

"We'll do better tomorrow." Was the last I heard before my eyes drifted closed.

#noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #fanfic

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retrobookworm · 2 years

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My Top Nine Reads Of 2021

If you have read any of these, please let me know! I would love to rant with you about how amazing they are! I tried to narrow it down to five books, but it was near impossible for me to give up any of these from the list.

Note: These are not in a specific order, I really couldn't pick a favourite out of these, nor could I rank them from favourite to least favourite. Thus, they are just listed randomly.

1. Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

In the simplest words possible, I LOVED THIS BOOK. It made me smile, it ripped me into a thousand pieces and built me back up piece by piece. If you are looking for a story that will utterly and completely destroy you, this is it. I wasn't able to stop thinking about this book for months. It was one of the first books that really stuck with me (other than my childhood favs ofc)

2. Circe by Madeline Miller

So it seems I really had a thing for books that destroyed me this year. I adored this book. It is a great choice for any Riordan fans out there who are looking for something a little more grown-up. I fell in love with the characters and felt their pain as they suffered. This book was near impossible to put down, and I stayed up into the early hours of the morning to keep reading it. I borrowed this one from the library, so I don't own a copy, but I am hoping to buy one in the near future so that I might reread this book over and over.

3. One Of Us Is Lying by Karen M McManus

This book had me hooked from the very beginning. I can't say much about the book without spoiling it, but I ABSOLUTELY adored the characters. I was not expecting it to end the way it did. This is definitely a great way to introduce yourself to Karen M McManus's work, as I am now very excited to read all of her work. I also read The Cousins by McManus this year, but One Of Us Is Lying is significantly better in my opinion.

4. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

This book ripped my heart out. I fell in love with the characters on the first page and felt like I knew them personally. I love Finch and Violet's relationship with each other! This book was heartbreaking, happy, and hopeful all at once. If you are looking for a book to make you ugly cry, this is definitely the one. I have yet to cry while reading (I tend to be a stonefaced reader), but this one wins the medal for coming the closest to doing so.

5. Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

This book. Oh my goodness, I still can't get over it. To this day, it still affects the way I read every book. In short, this book gave me trust issues. I can't say much more without spoiling it, but I am looking forward to finishing the series. I would put my thoughts on this book, but I'm still learning the mechanics of Tumblr and I don't know if they have an option to cover text unless clicked (like the || thing in discord).

6. The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

I believe this might be the first classic I actually couldn't put down. This book was so intriguing, and it kept me hooked from the first chapter. I loved the concept of the book, and the plot was so good. If you are looking for a book that will really make you think, then this is definitely worth a read.

7. Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

I read this book in under 24 hours. I enjoyed it so much I couldn't put it down. I now drink my coffee in the fashion described in the book, and have no intention of turning back. Astrean style coffee is my jam now. The characters are wonderful, and I grew so close to all of them. I can't really say I have a favourite.

8. The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

I CANNOT BELIEVE I WAITED SO LONG TO READ THIS!!!! If you haven't read this book, drop everything and go read it right now. This book is seriously not overhyped at all. This was my second John Green book, and I was not disappointed. I fell in love immediately with Augustus and Hazel, and their story in its entirety. Being an amputee myself, I found it really easy to connect with Augustus and understand how he felt.

9. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

This is by far my favourite Jane Austen book. I LOVE Fanny Price and Edmund Bertram. They are my favourites. This book is so full of drama, and is perfect for any romance lover who loves the 1800s. I was constantly finding new drama for the poor heroine, who had already suffered enough. Edmund Bertram is most definitely my favourite character in this book, as I connect to him so well. He's like my spirit animal.

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bi-the-way-132 · 3 years

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I'm taking requests!

Rules:

send any request you have to me through the comments on this post or my inbox

I write mainly fluff but I can also do angst (it's not the best) however I cannot do smut. (I tried and it ended up as a shit show)

first come first serve

I write all types of relationships including x reader, wlw, wlm, mlm, polyamorous, and ships

I write for:

Dear Evan Hansen

Evan Hansen

Connor Murphy

Zoe Murphy

Alana Beck

Jared Kleinman

Be More Chill

Michael Mell

Jeremy Heere

Rich Goranski

Newsies

Davey Jacobs

Crutchie

Race

Spot

In The Heights

Sonny De La Vega

West Side Story

Riff

Baby John

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Wanda Maximoff

Peter Parker (Tom, Andrew, or Tobey)

Loki Laufeyson

Yelena Belova

Kate Bishop

Agatha Harkness

Dr Stephen Strange

Steven Grant

Marc Spector

Jake Lockley

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

Neville Longbottom

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Newt Scamander

The Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Dune

Paul Atreides

Duke Leto Atreides

Stranger Things

Peter Ballard

Billy Hargrove

Eddie Munson

Jonathan Byers

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Max Mayfield

Gareth Emerson

Argyle

The Last Of Us

Joel Miller

Ellie Williams

Jurassic Park

Tim Murphy

Queen - Band

Roger Taylor

John Deacon

The Beatles

Paul McCartney

George Harrison

Encanto

Bruno Madrigal

Camilo Madrigal

Dolores Madrigal

Tangled

Flynn Rider

Atypical

Casey Gardner

The Inheritance Games

Avery Grambs

Grayson Hawthorne

Heathers (Movie)

Jason Dean

Veronica Sawyer

Actors

Mike Faist

Laura Dreyfuss

Ben Tyler Cook

Sebastian Stan

Chris Evans

Tom Holland

Andrew Garfield

Joe Mazzello

Oscar Isaac

Miscellaneous

Woodland Demars

I might do some other characters/people if you ask me. these are just the ones I've written before

If you don’t know what to request, I got some prompts you can choose from below. Just make sure in your request to specify which prompt from which list!

General Prompts

It’s really not that complicated

Close the door

It’s three in the morning

I should have told you a long time ago

Why are you helping me?

You have to leave right now

Just trust me

I’ve been waiting a long time

We could get arrested for this

What were you thinking about?

I thought you were dead

You’re never going to let that go, are you?

Was that supposed to hurt?

I can explain

I don’t believe you

He/She/They was/were never mine, but losing him/her/them broke my heart

How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?

I’m afraid you’ll end up seeing me the way I see myself

He/she/they lived to be the greatest

Don’t ever forget me. Please.

The world stopped breathing that night

Everything here can kill you, but I can do it most efficiently

Don’t tell me to give up like everything is meaningless

I buy a personality

I screwed up

And maybe in the end, I was meant to be alone...

You’ll never see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresh air

I just want to go somewhere where nobody knows my name

All the memories come back, but they never do

If your treated like a monster for long enough you become one

Nightmares keeping you awake too?

There, there, it's okay, don't cry

Shh It's okay now, I'm here

I will always be here for you. Never forget that

Don't you ever forget that I am always here

If you ever feel alone, don't because I'm right here

I Literally Scraped My Knee Falling For You

Angst Prompts

Shut up

I can't believe you would do this to me. After everything I've done for you

Give it back

No.

I can't even look at you

You could have just told me

You're just a kid

I'm done

Stop talking to me

Stop coming back

I don't care

Please just let me go

Do you love him/her/them?

I can't love you

I used to think love was real

But in the end I was not the boy/girl/person he/she/they fell in love with

I always knew I would end up being the one who got hurt

If only I had spoken up to him/her/them the first day I saw him/her/them. Maybe we would have been friends and maybe we would have fallen in love. But I didn't talk to him/her/them and we weren't friends and we didn't fall in love. He/she/they found someone else. I can only blame myself

I tried not to fall in love with him/her/them

Can you please stop?

Why did you come back?

Go away

What you said really hurt

I can't do this anymore

I'm not fine. I know I said I was but I'm not

I can't love you. I don't know how

Help.

I have no choice

I had no choice

And with those words, he/she/they left

You're hurting me

You have to choose

Here. You can have it back

Kissing me won't make this go away

To think I trusted you...

I miss your smile

Don't you remember?

I never want to look at you again

You weren't there when I needed you most

How can one person be the source of so much pain?

You’re my regret

Watch me

Don't cry, everything will work out

Please don't cry, I'm so sorry

Fluffy Prompts

You deserve someone who values you

I've known you sense, forever. I can't imagine my life without you

We can't be friends anymore. I will always see you as something else

I don't like him/her/them. I like you

You're a wonderful person, never forget that

He/she/they has/have no idea what they're missing

Sure there are people out there who lobe you. I do

The lucky guy/girl/person who wins your heart will be so lucky

If it wasn't for you, I would be lost. I'm so glad you came into my life

I'd do anything for you

If I was your boy/girl friend, I'd pepper you with kisses and gifts and spoil you so badly

I've been thinking about you a lot lately

Are you jealous of (character/person)

Can you picture it? You and I together?

'Us' I like the sound of that

You always know what to say

My family thinks we're dating...

You’re in love with her/him/them

Come here

Love is overrated

I’ve missed this

Didn’t you guys used to be best friends?

#dear evan hansen fanfic #be more chill fanfic #newsies fanfic #marvel fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #atypical #queen band #hunger games fanfic #encanto #tangled #dune movie #jurassic park #west side story #stranger things #the inheritance games #heathers #the last of us

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full-moon-films · 2 years

Text

The Covenant (2006)

Director: Renny Harlin

Writer: J. S. Cardone

Producers: Gary Lucchesi; Tom Rosenberg

Notable Cast: Steven Strait; Sebastian Stan; Laura Ramsey; Taylor Kitsch

Run Time: 97 minutes

Language: English

Restrictions: PG13 for violence, horror, language and nudity

Genre: Horror; Mystery; Thriller

The Covenant is by far one of the worst films I have ever had the misfortune to see. But with Renny Harlin directing a typical early-2000s supernatural thriller film, it was never going to win any Oscars. Deemed a “Twilight for boys” it lives up to its title from everything to the constant turquoise filter (though, thankfully, not as saturated) to the unnatural line delivery.

The story, for all its messy plot dynamics, follows Caleb Danvers (Steven Strait) and his three witch friends Pogue (Taylor Kitsch), Reid (Toby Hemingway) and Tyler (Chace Crawford) as they all inch closer to the day where they turn 18, “Ascend” and inherit their full powers. If it were a more thought-out movie I’d say this sounds like an aggressive metaphor for adulthood, but in the way the movie plays out it is evident that this is far from the case.

Even though all the actors look blatantly as though they’re in their early to mid 20s, the boys are meant to be 17-year-old high schoolers and therefore act as such. They go to parties, they go out with girls and they like to cause destruction more than keeping their heads down and studying. The two girls in the film, Kate (Jessica Lucas) and Sarah (Laura Ramsey) are the same person with different hair colours. They hold no agency and exist to only entertain whichever of the “Sons of Ipswitch” - what Kate calls Caleb and his friends - wants them at that particular time. Sarah’s tattoos are more three-dimensional than she is.

And while the boys do get somewhat different personalities - Caleb the leader, Pogue the best friend, Reid the agitator and Tyler... Tyler could be written out and the movie would remain the same - their personalities aren’t static. Their core beliefs change whichever way the wind blows and the writing doesn’t know how to keep their voices consistent. With the literal silencing of Tyler, it is obvious the writers bit off more than they could chew. Even the film’s antagonist, Caleb’s mortal enemy Chase Collins (Sebastian Stan) takes a full 180 in his personality from the start to the climax for no reason. One minute he’s trying to get on Caleb’s good side and stab him in the back, and the next he’s loudly proclaiming his hatred by attacking everyone Caleb loves.

I use the word “loves” very freely because if there is one thing worse than the consistency of the characters themselves, it’s the chemistry of all interactions around each other.

Sarah, for all intents and purposes, is meant to serve as Caleb’s love interest. She’s the ray of sunshine that breaks through our hero’s cold outer shell. If only she was a ray of sunshine or Caleb had a cold outer shell. Every Interaction with them is drier than my grandmother’s pies and only served to lengthen an already threadbare script. After a week of knowing each other the audience is meant to believe that they are madly in love, but they can’t even be friends.

The other relationship in the film, that of Kate and Pogue, is better only in the sense that they’re meant to feel distant from one another. The writers gave up and wrote their lack of chemistry right in to the script it seems. At the end of the film when Kate is hospitalised due to Chase casting a spell on her - through some very confusing logic - only then does Pogue show any scrap of concern for her. Concern that is then overshadowed by the convoluted plot set in motion by Chase’s plans.

To be honest, the most organic interactions came about between Chase and Caleb, though that really isn’t saying much. In the first half of the movie, when the plot calls for Chase to be all puppies and rainbows, Caleb seems more invested in him than he does Sarah. He goes out of his way to spend time with Chase, even pushing back a dinner date with Sarah to later in the evening so they can spend the afternoon together. Their ‘warm up fight’ in Sarah’s bedroom in the second half of the film ends with the most heated, emotion fueled minutes of the boys cramped together on the bathroom floor. Chase goes so far as to kiss Caleb - after calling him “brother” to ease the tension of course - before storming out of the room. It can’t be good form for your protagonist and antagonist to have more emotion in their interactions than your protagonist and his compulsory love interest.

After watching this movie once, and then again, and then yet again, the plot still makes very little sense. The world and conflicts are introduced in a way that is cliche but understandable. The issue arises around Chase’s ideas for revenge.

Allegedly, he hates Caleb because their ancient relatives had bad blood. Chase being adopted, he only learned about this when he was a teenager and the Power that is so important to these Ipswitch witches had already taken over him. He moves to Caleb’s school after finding out who he is in an attempt to gather more Power and increase his strength. So far, the ambition makes sense.

What does not makes sense is his plan to take Caleb’s power.

Instead of focusing on the boy who he is quickly becoming close to, Chase targets everyone around him, drawing out the movie about 90 minutes longer than it needed to be. Chase’s logic follows that if he puts Kate in hospital, Pogue will come after her. At which point Chase can fight Pogue and hospitalise him, luring out Caleb. All of this he does, but then he goes to Sarah’s room, pretending to be Caleb. Even though all these boys look identical he still thinks it necessary to glamour himself. Now placing a spell on Sarah, Caleb comes to the room to find them both. Which results in their warm-up fight and Chase begging for Caleb’s Power.

I honestly see no reason why all three middle men couldn’t have been cut out. At least Kate and Pogue, there is no reason that they should have been involved under that justification. Sarah is the only “bait” I can suspend my disbelief for.

This film is such a disaster that there is nothing more to add.

Except - I enjoyed it. It’s one of the worst films I will ever watch and now it’s also one of my favourites. The plot is a wreck. The acting would have more expression if done by sock puppets. The dialogue choices are questionable at best (featuring among their greatest hits the iconic “Harry Potter can kiss my ass” and “Wiatch”) but that adds to the enjoyment of it all. It’s a movie to watch when you don’t need to think and can watch someone else’s failure to feel better about yourself. Because if someone can get funding and cinema screening for this 3/10 movie, anything is possible.

#the covenant #the covenant movie #2006 movies #the covenant review #full moon films #renny harlin #steven strait #sebastian stan #laura ramsey #taylor kitsch #horror movies #horror #mystery #thriller #bad movies

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emletish-fish · 3 years

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7. what is you favorite sentence/paragraph? read it to us! (asker can choose what fic) (x)

I chose three! One from each of my 'big fics'. No Zombies, Worst Prisoners and Good Boys under the cut:

NO ZOMBIES:

No Zombies was a delight to write. I had pretty much the whole idea from the get-go, (of a returned style AU with Hector coming to spend time with the family in the modern world). I finished it quick - and it's not too long (side-eyeing Good Boy and Worst Prisoner). It was the first fic where I felt like I really "stuck" the landing. I was quite flexible with my original outline, but I still knew where the journey ended. It ended exactly how I wanted it too - happily but with a bitter-sweet note.

The emotional core of this story is how Elena, family matriach, who is so gruff and no-nonsense, who despises Hector in the films, and who has such a warm heart under such a grumpy exterior would slowly soften and come to love Hector, (and how she grows as a person because of this and becomes more comfortable showing love/emotions to her family). It was like a platonic slow-burn as she learns to understand Hector better - which is why this bit is my favourite because it's where she starts to really feel fond of him for the first time:

“Well, I'm just glad I'm a better teacher for him than watching old Ernesto De La Cruz movies.” Héctor had replied with a wry smile. “It's probably because I'm so much more handsome than that butt-chinned, over-the-top ham.”

“Because you're a pointy-chinned, over-the-top ham?” Elena replied, feeling surprising witty. She never made teasing jokes like this normally, but it was so easy with Héctor.

He looked mock-offended. “I'll have you know, my chin is wonderful and I've given it to several of your grandchildren, so there.”

If Elena was a different person, she probably would have pulled Héctor into a warm, laughing hug then. She might have told him seriously that Miguel had always been difficult for her. He felt things so strongly and got so upset and emotional – she'd always struggled with how to help him, how to calm him. Miguel was so happy now. She knew that was because of Héctor.

She might have told Héctor that he was at least six thousand times the musician, eight thousand times the teacher, and ten thousand times the man that Ernesto De La Cruz was.

But Elena was who she was.

Instead she said “Idiot,” and ruffled his stupidly messy hair rather fondly.

She told herself she wasn't warming to the fool musician, but she knew it was a lie.

GOOD BOY:

My current work. It's another platonic slow-burn, but this time set in the Cobra Kai universe with son and father pair - Robby Keene and Johnny Lawrence. In the show, these two characters have such a dysfunctional relationship that is so full of miscommunications and missed chances, and they genuinely want a better relationship (and it would be so healing for both of them! Do not get me started!) I lean much more into the magical realism in this story, as I turned Robby into a dog (Animal transformation - PIXAR's Brave style), so that he could immediately get the cuddles and easy affection he so clearly needs.... because I have never seen a more touch/affection-starved character aside from Zuko in ATLA.

This also gave Robby a chance to really understand, not only his father, but the other people in his cicrcle. He discovered he had a support network. He got to know he was loved by many. he got to witness the actions people would take as they searched for human-him (not knowing that he'd been turned into a dog). And it gave Johnny a chance to learn how to take care of something, feel needed, and express his love for his son without the weight of their complicated history/his own trauma hanging over him. It was hard to pick a favourite, but I will say the Johnny-stream-of-conciousness chapters are definitely the easiest/most fun to write. One of my favourite bits is in the first one, The queen of ice-cream runaway when Johnny tells Robby about when Laura (his grandmother) found out Shannon was pregnant and she was going to be a grandmother.

It's the first inkling Robby gets that while his father wasn't there for him and he was neglected a lot, Johnny did his best to keep the bad shit from his own childhood away from Robby as his own way of showing care. It hints at the deep and damaging abuse Johnny endured. When he finally had a say with his own kid, he would have done anything to protect Robby from feeling the same. I'd say here is where Robby really begins to warm to his Dad;

Then I told her our chosen name and she said I was a dumbass and Swayze was a terrible middle name, and we had to change it to some shit like Alastair or something. She thought he should have a rich sounding middle name. And I say Mom, Alastair sounds like some lame-ass insurance broker who upskirts his secretary and then cries as he jerks off to the pictures, what else you got? She thought Sebastian, and that was worse! What a pussy name. Sebastian is going to be sitting in the little french patisserie cafe drinking the tiny-ass coffee for dolls and eating the éclair with his prissy finger tips. I already want to kick Sebastian's ass. Who wouldn’t? I’m not going to give my kid a name that is going to get his ass kicked.

And she couldn't talk, cause she named me after Johnny Cash, just cause she liked his music. And she couldn't think of a middle name at the time, so I didn't get one. Thank goodness. I could have ended up Johnny Alastair and had to kick my own ass.

So Swayze stayed.

Then she mentions how she and Sid can help out, so I didn't need to do the two jobs, stupidly long hours thing. And we need the money. I know we need the money. But my whole body froze and I just went No. None of that for little Robby Swayze. ...

... She’s going on about spending Sid’s money on Robby and I just...I can’t. I can't allow it. Cause I knew how he would be, and the way he would treat that kid. So I tell her, no thank you. Not a fucking cent mom. Sid’s not getting to feel like he owns a hair on Robby’s head. That motherfucker can go jump. You thought we needed Sid’s money when I was a kid. You decided it was better for me, and that was your choice. I did not get a vote in that. But this is my kid, and this time it is my call, and I am choosing no. I’m not going to have Sid make my kid feel like he has to apologise for existing every day. I'm not going to have Sid treat my kid the way he treated me. I will never need money that badly. I will never put my kid through that. I'll work myself to the bone doing 20 hour days before that. I'll work on the 40th floor without a harness before that. I will sell my fucking organs before it comes to that. Not a cent mom.

WORST PRISONER:

My 'what if Zuko made friends with the Gaang early on?" AU that then turned into a three-book long saga (and I will return to it, Worst Prisoner readers - Thank you for you patience). It does have evenutal Zutara, but the focus is really on the Gaang + Zuko as a whole, and all the interpersonal relationships. I'd say there is more gen-shipping around Zuko as a central character, as Iroh & Zuko, and Sokka & Zuko are both given equal prominence. in fact, all the friendships and familial relationships were equally important to me. (the book 3 Zuko & Azula stuff is so interesting, but it is ...less funny I guess.)

This fic is such a joy to write, and I really try and balance the humour with the bittersweet/sad parts, and one of the main sources of humor was the Sokka-Aang-Zuko -Katara qudrangle of dumbassery. I love the four of them together in book 1, and so many of their interactions were a hoot to write. But if I'd have to pick a favourite moment, it would be the moment in the deserter chapter in book 1, where they all decide to 'officially' be friends:

“Well, you can figure that out and find someone while I'm up in the Northern Water Tribe. Then when we finish up there, we'll come find you,” Aang offered.

“Really?” Zuko’s eyes were shining optimistically. It was a strange expression for him. Aang was so used to seeing him with a grumpy face.

“Really, I promise,” Aang said, feeling so glad that he could help Zuko go home.

“Yeah, I second that. If this means we won’t have to put up with you chasing us, I am in!” Sokka said. “Sheesh, you could have just asked ages ago!”

“You know, this means I was right,” Aang started to say, feeling very vindicated. The others looked at him curiously. “If we had just talked about friendship in the forest, we could have sorted this out weeks ago!”

“Boo, forest friendship!” Sokka said.

“Don't boo him,” Katara admonished, elbowing her brother.

“I agree with Sokka. There's no way I would have appreciated that speech weeks ago, Aang,” Zuko said.

Sokka smiled at Zuko for saying he agreed with him. It actually wasn't that rare of an occurrence, but it still seemed to surprise Sokka every time.

“See, Aang, forest friendship is bullshit,” Sokka said.

“I didn't say that!” Zuko cut in. “I just meant, maybe … I had to be dragged all over the Earth Kingdom by you guys ... and shot ... and taken to nonsense fortune tellers ... and I had to be forced to eat Sokka's truly terrible and disgusting cooking—”

“Oi!”

“—and I had listen to Aang lecture me about friendship and vegetarianism in the forest just so I could come here.” He looked around at the deserters’ camp site. “I dunno, maybe it was meant to be this way.”

“What are you saying? You want to be forest friends with Aang now?” Sokka asked accusingly.

“I mean, sure. If Aang will have me, we can be friends,” Zuko said, and looked uncertain.

“Yay! I knew you'd want to be my friend,” Aang said, feeling delighted.

He was so happy he had a Fire Nation friend again. Kuzon had been an amazing friend, even though he'd gotten Aang into so many sticky situations. He had already thought Zuko was his friend, but it was nice to make it official. Aang always knew the Fire Nation had good people in it too, and now he had been proven right. He jumped up and gave Zuko a huge hug.

#Emletish answers #Emletish writes #Fic: No Zombies #Fic: Good Boy #Fic: Worst Prisoner

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generalblizzarddreamer · 3 years

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Book recommendations based on your Hogwarts house!

A/N I’ve been watching a lot of these videos on youtube and it inspired me to make this post! I hope you enjoy. I love Harry Potter and the fandom but just to be clear I don’t support J.K Rowling and her trans/homophobic statements and the fact that she is ruining the series by adding more to it.

Ravenclaw house 💙🦅(my house)

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

This book just screams Ravenclaw to me. The cults, the science, the research, the history, the small facts on the Smithsonian... literally everyting except the characters themselves and the plot is real. There is so much knowledge to be gained from reading this book and the plot is thick and exciting.

Strange the Dreamer duology by Laini Taylor

Another book that screams Ravenclaw... Strange the Dreamer and the world and the culture is so thick and is presented in lyrical and intelligent word play that any self respecting Ravenclaw should definitely give this book a try. You will not be disappointed! I know I wasn’t! The main character (Lazlo Strange) is also a Ravenclaw so that is always a perk.

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This book is like a well thought out chess game. The writing styles that the two authors develop is addicting and the letters going back and forth between the two character is so intriguing. There so much strategy and wit in this book that I had to put it on this list for Ravenclaw.

Wendy Darling by Colleen Oarkes

I love this book so much. I think it’s a book that is worthy of Ravenclaw just because of it’s creativity and the twist that Colleen Oakes put on Peter Pan. I think sometimes we forget that it isn’t just wit, wisdom, and knowledge (although this book is definitely witty and has some wise messages) that Ravenclaws value but also creativity.

Bonus book: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. This book is the most Ravenclaw book ever. Need I say more.

Gryffindor ❤️🦁

Lore by Alexandria Bracken

The plot is tense, most of the characers are Gryffindors, book praises bravery, cowardice is something that is punishable ad frowed upon... the list goes on and on. Lore is filled with high stakes and brave acts that Gryffindor’s will admire.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

It was so hard to put one of my all time favorite books in here just solely because it’s not my house (that was not a dig on Gryffindor please don’t attack me). Bree is such a Gryffindor and does so many of the things I can see the golden trio doing. High stakes, daring acts, Gryffindor cast, a Griffindor x Griffindor relationship, perfect for any Gryffindor looking for a book full of twist and turns and bravery.

The City we Became by N.K Jemisin

This one gives me Gryffindor vibes for the same reasons the other ones do (thrills, daring acts, Gryffindor characters etc). Except for one thing. This book could have easily been placed into Slytherin since the main character uses his cunning to change his identity according to what city he is in at the moment. But I put this book here because I think it shows how Gryffindor and Slytherin are two sides of the same coin.

Raft by S.A Bodeen

This one was a bit of stretch. Raft is a bit of a unpopular book, I’ve seen people say it was just meh, or bad. I actually really enjoyed this book though and I think how the main character (Robie) deals with being stranded and jumping out of a plane to survive gives me Gryffindor feels. I also think Gryffindors are the kind of people to enjoy a good survival book.

Bonus: The Hunger Games

Slytherin 💚🐍

Vicious duology by V.E Schwab

Most (if not all) of the characters in this book are so cunning and ambitious and determined to meet their goal that makes it such a Slytherin book. Vicious also makes you question morality and the characters motivations that Slytherins will appreciate this book even more because of it. Bonus: V.E Schwab is a Slytherin. Just saying.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I don’t know what about this book makes me think “Slytherin” but it does. Maybe it’s because it’s about using magic in a cunning way to win, the characters, the main characters mentors (although I think they are both definitely Slytherins). But this book screams Slytherin to me, just for unknown reasons.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

I don’t really think I need to explain why this is a Slytherin read so I’ll just put one character name: Kaz Brekker. Kaz is such a Slytherin. He uses cuning and resourcefulless to pull off crazy heists, blackmail people and get what he wants to survive a gang ridden city. And he he put up a calm face even though he may be freaking out on the inside through everything, never revealing his full plan. I feel like these are all such Slytherin things to do, not gonna lie.

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Oh boy, I could right pages and pages on why I think this is a Slytherin book but I’ll stick to a mini paragraph. The “Ash Princess”, Theodosia, uses cunning and strategy to take back her kingdom. She manipulates to get close to certain people to achieve her goal. And even though she doesn’t necessarily think that these are good things to do, she recognizes taking her kingdom back and acheiving her goal is more important. Sound like a certain house?

Bonus: Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire (So many Slytherin vibes in this book)

Hufflepuff 💛🌿🦡 (I had to put a plant just as a nod to the Hufflepuff common room)

Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares by Rachel

This. Book. Is. So. Cute. I didn’t put this in here just because it was cute though, after reading it, it gave me so many feels and Hufflepuff vibes that I had to put it here.

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay

Just going to say this: Hufflepuffs are great finders. This whole book centers around a girl finding her brother. She shows loyalty because she travels around the world to find him. Does that seem extrememly Hufflepuff-y or is it just me?

Guardians of Childhood series by William Joyce

Hear me out, every Hufflepuff has an inner child as well as a badass inside them, they aren’t all soft (Tonks is proof). The guardians are protectors of children (as the title indicates) but they also kick butt. I think Hufflepuff’s of all ages will enjoy it, and yeah it’s a kids book but to quote C.S Lewis; “someday you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again”.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Ok though, but Pride and Prejudice could fit everywhere on here. Lizzie is a Raveclaw, Mr. Darcy is a Hufflepuff, Mrs. Bennet is a Gryffindor (she gives me Mrs. Weaseley vibes. Especially in the 2005 movie), etc. But I’m putting it here because it’s such a Hufflepuff thing to ship Mr. Darcy and Lizzie (seriously though every Hufflepuff I’ve met say that this is their OTP). Just read it and watch as it become your OTP too.

Bonus: Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson

I do not own any of the pictures used.

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thebirdandhersong · 3 years

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Fairy tale retellings! because I couldn’t help myself (under the cut because I got carried away and remembered my fairy tale retelling phase from middle school........ oh boy)

Cinderella

Cinderella (2015 Disney live action): beautiful beautiful BEAUTIFUL (the music! the script!! the Hope! the costumes! the dress! the gentleness at its heart! the overall design and the colours!) (I still believe it’s the best live action re-adaptation they’ve come up with so far) (then again they DID have one of the Rogue One writers and Kenneth Branagh--both of whom understand story AND fairy tales--on the team, and possibly the best combination of actors and costume designers)

Cinderella (Disney animated movie): like a dream. Can’t remember it that well because I haven’t watched it in over ten years, but I remember that I loved it

Cinderella, the Rodgers & Hammerstein musical featuring Laura Osnes and Santino Fontana: Laura’s Cinderella is so lively and hopeful and bright and affectionate and I Love Her!!! The script is also surprisingly funny, and the little changes they made (like the fairy godmother being an old beggar woman in the village, the subplot with her stepsister, the scene at the ball where she suggests that they should all be kind to one another, the fact that the prince is called His Royal Highness Christopher Rupert Windemere Vladimir Karl Alexander Francois Reginald Lancelot Herman (HERMAN!) Gregory James....... iconic) added rather than detracted from the themes they chose to emphasize

A Cinderella Story: possibly one of my favourite films. I loved the fact that they knew each other before the ‘ball’. Loved the way the fairy tale was ‘translated’ into the 2000s. The friendship was strong with this one. I had the best time watching this movie. (Dress-wise, Hilary Duff’s dress is my least favourite, but that’s a minor quibble, and is also due to the fact that it has Lily and Laura’s gorgeous fluffy ballgowns to contend with, and that’s not fair competition)

Persuasion, by Jane Austen: does it count?? The way I see it, Persuasion is like Cinderella gone wrong (we discussed this in class, and my prof called Lady Russell a fairy godmother who means well but fails her protege before the story even begins. We talked about Anne’s ‘Cinderella’/makeover moment taking place over a longer period of time, about the ‘evil’ stepsisters, etc. etc. I’m not entirely sure I agree with every single comparison he made, but he made some Very interesting points).... at least the first time :)

Cinder, by Marissa Meyer. Oh, the images!!!!! Marissa Meyer is WONDERFUL at them. You wouldn’t think they’d translate well into a futuristic sci-fi (almost steampunk) world, but she did it SO brilliantly (the slipper! the ‘dress’! the whole family situation!)

Rapunzel

Tangled (Disney animated movie): an absolute joy. Rapunzel is an Ariel-like character who has hopes and dreams of her own, and I love how warm and vivacious and endearingly transparent she is. The dance scene is so, so lovely. (I stand by my opinion that very few little went right with Disney’s fairy tale retellings after Tangled.)

Cress, by Marissa Meyer: once again. Images. I can’t believe she managed to pull Rapunzel-in-space off so well. (Plus she’s a hacker, and such a sweetheart!!)

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast (Disney animated movie): Amazing. Gorgeous. Brilliant. The buildings and the music and Belle (Belle, my darling!!) and the darker, more Gothic feel to the art and the design...... Yes

Beauty, by Robin McKinley: knocked it right out of the ball park, right through the atmosphere, right into outer space... The language is so lush and atmospheric, and even though I knew roughly what was going to happen, I loved every moment of it. She puts a special emphasis on family and on human connection and I Loved that so much.

Rose Daughter, by Robin McKinley: also gorgeous!!!!! Beauty is still my favourite of the two, but this one was also a gem. (Again: the emphasis on family and sisterhood!!!)

Beauty and the Beast (the Broadway musical): Susan Egan’s voice is SO lovely. And Home deserved more than just an instrumental reference in the 2017 version.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

Princess of the Midnight Ball, by Jessica Day George: the Best. The sisters are easier to distinguish, the changes/things she added (the war, the queen’s past, etc.) make the story even more interesting, and Galen is fantastic (courteous, kind, brave, AND likes to knit?? NICE)

The Barbie movie: I loved it when I was a little girl (it is also Muffin-approved!)

The Princess and the Pea

@fictionadventurer‘s Wodehousian one :) which is an absolute delight. Every once in a while I remember it and then can’t stop smiling

The Goose Girl

The Goose Girl, by Shannon Hale: the Best. And by the Best, I mean the absolute Best. Her writing is so beautiful and her characters are so real and distinctive. The worldbuilding is fascinating. It’s so simple and so beautiful, and is near-perfect as a retelling and as a novel. The rest of the Bayern series is also wonderful!!

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid (Disney movie): can’t remember it very well, except for the chef who wanted to cook Sebastian and also Ariel’s very cool sisters.... the music and Ariel’s character are lovely :)

The Little Android, by Marissa Meyer: genius. The first time I read it, I cried furiously. What does it mean to be human?? Marissa Meyer loves to talk about this in her other books (through malfunctioning robots, androids, werewolves, etc.). And the conclusion she comes to is always the same (and always done so beautifully): it’s about love and sacrifice (and tbh even though she’s talking about this through robots and werewolves, she’s got a point!!! When you act with love and self-sacrifice, you reflect the character of the Maker and His love and self-sacrifice, which is what makes us in that moment the most human--or at least human in the sense that that’s what we were made to be and to do towards our neighbours and enemies)

Ponyo (Studio Ghibli movie): this counts, doesn’t it?? A film that is an absolute joy through and through. It doesn’t completely stick to the original fairy tale but it also talks about compassion, kindness, and love as a choice

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog (Disney animated movie): can’t remember it very well, but Anika Noni Rose has a fantastic voice, and I loved Tiana’s practicality, optimism, and kindness

The Prince of the Pond, by Donna Jo Napoli: can’t remember it either (read it in third grade) but basically it’s about how the prince turns into a frog and starts a family with another frog (the story is told from her perspective). I do remember that the ending made me so sad, though

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty (Disney movie): can’t remember it at all either, except for: 1) Once Upon a Dream (a brilliant song) and 2) forget pink or blue. I liked her grey dress the most

Spindle’s End, by Robin McKinley: the story was told in such an interesting way (the animals! the way she wrote about love and protecting the people you love and self-sacrifice in familial and platonic relationships!) with Robin McKinley’s beautiful style

East of the Sun, West of the Moon

East, by Edith Pattou: I was obsessed with this book in elementary school. Obsessed. I kept rereading it over and over again because I just loved it so much. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it, but I can remember certain scenes (Rose entering the ballroom for the first time, the white bear’s hulking figure in the doorway, the architecture of the hall where she washes the shirt, her fingers running over the wax, the reunion scene) so vividly as if it had been a movie instead of a book, or if I’d actually been there, experiencing what Rose was experiencing

Orpheus and Eurydice (which kind of counts)

Hadestown (the Broadway musical, the original cast, AND Anais Mitchell’s original concept album): I’ve talked about it so much I probably shouldn’t even start slkfjsdl;kfjlk; I just wanted an excuse to mention it again

Tam Lin

Fire and Hemlock, by Diana Wynne Jones: I loved it when I first read it but I was so confused and so fascinated by it.

The Snow Queen

Frozen (Disney animated movie): no (insert heart emoji)

And contemporary(?) books that are considered modern classics, if not modern fairy tales (depends on how you look at it, really):

Peter Pan

Peter Pan (Disney animated movie): a childhood favourite!!!

Peter and the Starcatchers, by Dave Barry: the whole series is so much fun (and they’re among some of the funniest books I’ve read). This one serves as a sort of prequel to Peter Pan, but it’s safer to say that Dave Barry reimagined the whole story.

Peter and the Starcatcher (Broadway play adaptation of the book, which is a reimagining of the original Peter Pan..... yeah): the source material is incredibly funny, so naturally the play adaptation makes you laugh until your sides feel ready to split (I mean!! You have Christian Borle as Black Stache, Adam Chanler Berat as Peter, Celia Keenan-Bolger as Molly..... they’re all brilliant) The script, the way the cast makes use of the set and props, the perfect comic delivery....... love it

Finding Neverland, a musical adaptation of the movie (the A.R.T. production with Jeremy Jordan as James Barrie): the music is so good, and the way they write about the value of looking at the world through the eyes of a child?? of seeing the beauty in everything?? of hope and imagination and wonder?? If it weren’t for the way it handles adultery (even emotionally cheating!) and divorce :( but Laura Michelle Kelly is absolutely enchanting, and the script is also incredibly funny and heartwarming

Tiger Lily, by Jodi Lynn Anderson: a twisted fairy tale... it was quite disturbing at times, but it was also beautiful and heartbreaking. It’s a darker take on the story, which I tend not to like (at all), but the way it explored Tiger Lily and Peter was quite interestng

The Wizard of Oz

WIcked, the Stephen Schwartz musical--I haven’t read the book: as far as retellings-about-the-villain-of-the-original-story goes this one is my favourite. It is another twisted fairy tale, though, and there’s a constant undercurrent of doom and dread, even in the motifs Stephen Schwartz uses... the ending is not completely happy, but the music is FANTASTIC (Mr. Schwartz also did The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Prince of Egypt!!)

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland (Disney movie): another childhood favourite... I also haven’t seen this one in over ten years, but I can still remember specific scenes very clearly in my head

Alice by Heart: a musical about a girl called Alice Spencer whose coping mechanism (quite literally) is Alice in Wonderland. She knows it by heart (again. Literally) and she dives into the world as a form of escapism (LITERALLY. There’s even a song at the end where the characters acknowledge how unhealthy this is). There’s a lot about growing up, losing a loved one, learning to let go... about self-deception and grief and the control one has over one’s life (unfortunately it IS subtly antagonistic towards Christianity at times)..... i do wish that writers didn’t have to treat sexual maturity as the most prominent/interesting part of coming-of-age stories, though. The characters, the set and lighting and costume design (BRILLIANT, by the way!!!!)... all wonderful. But the strangely sexual references can be a bit uncomfortable. (Really!! You can tell a coming-of-age story WITHOUT that stuff, you know!!!!!)

That Disney Movie directed by Tim Burton: wouldn’t recommend. Alice doesn’t need to be a warrior. (At ALL.)

Would also like to mention: Princess Tutu :)

#i am sorry but i am very emphatically not a frozen fan #especially since we read snow queen at jellicoe lodge?? it's such a beautiful story #and the IMAGES #but hollywood is more into self-actualisation/self-discovery/self-acceptance/self-centric stories these days #i guess they just didn't want to tell a story about self-sacrifice and selfless acts of love ? i don't know #anyway i get irrationally worked up about frozen sorry #the second one nearly made steam pour out of my ears #i GET they want to focus on the Self (and all the selfishness and self-importance that comes with our world's idea of self love)#but ELSA as an oldest sister HOW could you make all these decisions #fairy tales #i need to finish princess tutu sometime (sigh)#songbird again #my posts

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maddie-grove · 3 years

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Would you be interested in sharing your list of twelve objectively nasty but enjoyable heroes? (I do not know if Crispin Burke, a personal favourite of mine, would make the list, given the standards for male nastiness in some of these romances, but thank you nonetheless for introducing me to him.)

Good news! Our man is indeed on the list. I guess that one unspoken factor is that it’s harder for a villainous hero to be enjoyable if he does the very worst stuff. Still, there’s plenty of appalling behavior on my list of problematic faves.

I’m going to do this by category:

Heroes Who Could Easily Be Villains

Sebastian from To Have and to Hold by Patricia Gaffney (1995): Easily the worst hero I still like. I enjoy how he decides to be nicer largely because he’s sick of his own Sadean bullshit. Plus, neither he nor the narrative ever acts like his behavior is justified or even sympathetic before he reforms.

Allegreto from Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale (2004): he does some theatrically messed-up stuff, but it’s the early Renaissance and a kinky proto-Machiavellian bastard has to hustle! Plus, he has some top-tier angst, and the heroine gets to play rough with his junk and become a queen in her own right, so things work out!

Valentine from Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt (2016): A repeat blackmailer and kidnapper, yes, but also the funniest bitch in romance. He charmingly thinks the heroine is a beautiful angel.

Crispin from A Lady’s Code of Misconduct by Meredith Duran (2017): An MP without principles who menaces the heroine, he certainly benefits from getting amnesia early in the story and getting to re-evaluate his life a la 13 Going on 30, but I loved him from the moment that he admitted to himself that his cruelty to the heroine was (despite his pretensions) indistinguishable from that of her grotesque relatives.

Felix from The Luckiest Lady in London by Sherry Thomas (2013): A lightweight, especially for this category--his main issue is that he’s a cold fish--but how could I fail to recognize the man who tricks the heroine into thinking her most promising suitor is in an incestuous relationship with his half-sister? All because he wants her to marry him instead? Also, the best dirty-talker in the genre, no contest.

Bad Personality Gang

Rand from The Firebrand by Susan Wiggs (2001): A sexist banker who holds all the most boring, condescending sexist opinions of his day (1870s Chicago) for half the story, Rand has one of the most convincing and satisfying changes of heart I’ve ever seen. But, lord, he made my blood boil to begin with.

Reuben from Crooked Hearts by Patricia Gaffney (1994): A lazy, rude, emotionally immature con man, and yet what can I say? I’m charmed by his pleasure-seeking, borderline-cowardly ass. I think it helps that he refreshingly doesn’t suck in ways that are common to historical romance--he isn’t domineering or sexist--and he’s at his best around the heroine.

Oh, Honey, No

William from Libertine’s Kiss by Judith James (2010): Sometimes a romance hero isn’t a bad person, exactly, but he’s got a ton of issues that you know will never be resolved. William is a wormwood-bitter alcoholic who’s based on John Wilmost, the second Earl of Rochester, and he’s got an nasty attitude towards everyone except for the heroine, whom he thinks is a beautiful angel. This is charming, but I finished the book thinking, “Girl, he’s never going to stop drinking.” But I can’t help loving him, any more than she can.

Bentley from The Devil You Know by Liz Carlyle (2003): Sometimes, a romance hero is an absolute sweetheart, but he’s so self-destructive and has such poor judgment that it’s like, yikes, dude, you’re almost thirty, and you need to stop getting in situations where everyone’s pretty sure that you murdered a woman (he didn’t do it) or where you semi-accidentally seduce and abandon a debutante you consider a family friend (he thought he’d left a note, but the wind blew it away). And, look, this is a lot more relatable than most problematic heroes, and a lot of it is trauma, but I don’t like having to make so many excuses.

It’s Complicated

Tom from The Hostage by Susan Wiggs (2000): Definitely has the most solid and sympathetic reasons for kidnapping a heroine that I’ve ever seen.

Ewan from A Hope Divided by Alyssa Cole (2017): He put years of hard work into getting his torture degree at torture college, and now everyone’s like “oh torture’s bad,” “it’s ineffective,” fuck off. Also, it’s on Confederates, soooo. Seriously, I am very anti-torture, and I’m not comfortable with the idea that it’s okay on people who are horrible enough, but...it’s on Confederates. In the middle of the Civl War. Ewan also has conflicted, if somewhat detached, feelings about it, and it’s interesting and uncomfortable to be in his shoes.

There’s Just This One Thing

Will from Morning Glory by LaVyrle Spencer (1989): Will is largely a kind, gentle, hardworking, openminded hero, but his backstory is that he killed a woman and he doesn’t feel bad about it at all. Which, okay, it was a freak accident that she died, and he only shoved her because she was threatening his friend with a deadly weapon. I don’t expect him to feel that bad, just regretful that it turned out that way. But, damn it, Will, she was a human being! This is most likely a reflection of the book’s larger hostility towards women who are sex workers and/or have “too much” sex; their “promiscuity” is always paired up with objectively wrong actions (violent/predatory behavior, blackmailing when not strictly necessary), and then everybody’s glad when they die. It’s fucked up.

#romance novels #thornfield13713 #tw: rape #tw: torture #tw: whorephobia #tw: sexism

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maxiekat · 5 years

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In a world full of rom-coms, when was the last time you cried over an onscreen breakup that actually stuck? No grand gestures to save the day, just pure, raw, lust and heartbreak. If you want to get so deep in your feels you forget if you’re actually heartbroken or just bleary-eyed over someone else’s love story, then you may need to subscribe to the church of Drake Doremus.

The director is known for his mostly improvised, chill-inducing romantic dramas (Like Crazy, Newness, Equals) and his latest is a tender-to-the-touch look at a modern love triangle in Endings, Beginnings, which premieres Sunday at Toronto Film Festival. Much like his previous work, Endings, Beginnings is clever and cutting, but also soft and quiet. Shailene Woodley is at the heart of the film playing Daphne, a thirty-something artist (her specialty is hand-painted tea pots, which she sells on Etsy) who recently and abruptly quit her job and ended her long-term relationship with her boyfriend (Matthew Gray Gubler, in his third Doremus film).

Looking for a hard reset on life, Daphne moves into the pool house of her much more together older half-sister. She also stops drinking, focuses on looking for a new job, and cuts men out of her life. Until, of course, she meets two men at a New Year’s Party. One’s brooding, asking her for a light of a cigarette in the most drunken and charming of ways. He’s wearing a shearling jacket, worn-in with adventures. The other’s in LA’s version of a suit — he’s put together, and looks at her with the steady intentness. Daphne should be avoiding both, but she quickly becomes enamored with bad boy Frank (Sebastian Stan), a nomad who drinks absinthe, and good boy Jack (Jamie Dornan), an academic who has a dog and dreams of moving to Europe. What starts as innocent text-flirting evolves into two full-blown relationships. Oh, and the guys are best friends.

When Stan first read for the film, he read for both Frank and Jack’s role, but what really attracted him to the heady rom-dram was Dormeus himself, of whom he’s been a huge fan. ��I met him and I said, ‘I gotta tell you, I don’t know which one of these people you are seeing me as, but I really relate to both of them. I love both,’” he says over the phone to Refinery29. Stan’s in London where he’s filming the spy-thriller 355, a movie he says is “stylistically and tonally very different,” than Endings, Beginnings, but with “a couple of similarities here and there.”

“And we just got very deep. We got into relationships and being in our 30s and the world we are in right now, and all our experiences.” The vulnerability seen on-screen between Woodley, Stan, and Dornan is something special, and almost entirely improvised, based on just 30 pages of notes. Endings, Beginnings is a far cry from the big budget Marvel movies you’re used to seeing Stan in (he plays Captain America’s pal Bucky Barnes in seven Marvel movies and one upcoming spin-off series.) I was reading your Instagram post earlier gushing about working on this film with Drake. When did you become a fan of his, and why did you two think Frank was the role for you?

“I was aware of [Drake] for awhile. Like everyone else, I loved Like, Crazy, and then I also like his recent movie with Nicholas Hoult, Equals. I was also just really interested in doing a movie and improvising — because the entire movie is practically improvised. I never worked in that medium before. I got a call saying, Hey do you want to meet with Drake and talk about this movie [and] read the draft?, which was basically like 30 pages. There were two guy [parts] at the time. I met him and I said, ‘I gotta tell you, I don’t know which one of these people you are seeing me as, but I really relate to both of them. I love both.’ And we just got very deep. We got into relationships and being in our 30s and the world we are in right now, and all our experiences. Again, I didn’t really know that is where we were gonna go, but he was very honest with me and I was honest with him. We parted ways, and the next thing I knew he called me to have a session with somebody at the time that he was thinking of for the role as Daphne, and I went in and had a 3-hour improv session with him, then he called me and told me that he wants me to do the Frank role and I was fine with that.”

Only 30 pages. Everything else is improv? All the film’s dialogue?

“Yes, that is all literally on the day, in the moment, happening real-time. Basically, the script that he had was just the outline: Daphne comes out a recent relationship and moves in with her best friends. They’re having a New Years Party, and she runs into Frank who asks her for a cigarette. It was all outlines, but in terms of the dialogue and how we would get there, that was all improvised. That was an interesting experience because I had never worked that way and no take is ever the same. I walked away from that experience feeling very vulnerable. You’re not hiding behind any lines.”

The improvisation really added to the film. I left it feeling more emotional than I expected.

“We’ve all had relationships, and we know how tricky they are. They’re complex and there’s many layers. I don’t know — I have always loved romantic comedies. I grew up on When Harry Met Sally and all that, but I sometimes feel that relationships aren’t entirely depicted as messy and as raw and as painful as they are. That’s why I loved working with him because I feel like he gets to the core of situations. I’m happy to hear you related to it because that is what he wants. He wants you to go, 'I’ve had that conversation...been in that situation.’”

There’s been a resurgence in romantic comedies, but not so much romantic dramas like this. Do you think there’s a reason why?

“I love romantic comedies and there is a space for them, but [rom coms] are hopeful. Sometimes when I go to the movies, I don’t want to necessarily see what my life is. I want to be like, Hey! It’s nice to think that maybe that could be that way. If you want to be inspired, or laugh a little bit — there’s that element of it. And sometimes you want to see a movie that makes you feel less alone in your experience. A lot of European films are much closer to this, and I think Drake loves a lot of European films and is influenced by them and the personal quality. Structurally in romantic comedies, you have bigger things happening, right? Whereas [in this movie], there are big things happening, but there’s a much more subtle transition through everything.”

Frank is the “player” of the film, while Jack is the “good guy,” for lack of a better phrase. You’ve said before that you didn’t really know why you were often cast as the “bad boy.” Do you still not know why?

“I don’t know! [Groans] I don’t know. The truth is, the reason I was saying [I could play] Jack was that I talk a lot in my life. I philosophize a lot. I try to read things. Then I think about it, and then I wanna talk about it. I relate to that [aspect of Jack]. And actually, there was a lot to Frank and Daphne that we shot that was funny. They had a lot of their own back and forth, but what ended up being in the movie — I think Drake never forgot the vision that he had for Frank — [was him] being much darker than we shot. I am happy it ended up that way because there needed to be a contrast.

But I don’t know! I am glad they think I can do this. I am one of the most over-thinking, neurotic people I know. So I don’t know how it happens, but it keeps happening.”

I thought a big part of Frank also was his big shearling jacket. Since most of the movie was improvised, did you have anything to do with his outfits?

“Oh yeah, I kept that jacket, first of all. It’s a great jacket. What’s great about Drake is that he was like, ‘Hey, listen, people wear the same stuff all the time. If something works, let’s just it.’ I was like yeah, the guy probably kind of flies by the seat of his pants anyways so he just has a few things. I think I wore some of my own jeans. The boots I wore were mine. Drake definitely wanted us to wear our own stuff so we could feel comfortable in it.”

This was originally called No, No, No, Yes and ended as Endings, Beginnings. How did the title change shape the movie?

“It was always a working title. I saw that it was paired up with her experience — every no and every yes was paired to one of the relationships that she was going through. Endings, Beginnings is a little more specific. I know for awhile he was even contemplating a title that was even just made up of emojis which I thought would have been really fun.”

Oh yeah. I loved the texting aspect in this movie.

“There is an element of texting in the time period we are in, and there is this new language to it. They got it in the sense that both Jack and Frank have their very specific ways of texting. Jack probably uses punctuation, and Frank does not. [Laughs]”

You’ve worked with a few of the Big Little Lies women now. Do you have plans to work with the others like Zoe Kravitz, Reese Witherspoon, or Laura Dern?

“That has not hit me — that’s kinda funny. I don’t think I have ever met Reese Witherspoon and I’ve met Laura Dern. If the opportunity presents itself then great. I certainly wouldn’t have had a problem if there had been a role in the second season. I would have done it in a second. I loved the first season.”

I have one more that I have to ask about — obviously Gossip Girl is getting rebooted, and Chace [Crawford] said it made him feel “old,” but he’d be down. Have you thought about it at all?

“[Laughs] I don’t even… it’s so weird. Somehow a lot of people talk to me about Gossip Girl, and I always thought I was just a guest star. It was a very special show. It certainly defined those years, and we all got our start there in a way. It would be hilarious and weird and crazy. He’s right — we are old! I don’t know what business they’d have with me, but, Jesus. If there was some funny little witty thing and they called and we’re like, ‘We’re doing this thing and we have everybody….’ I’m not gonna be the asshole that says no. Maybe I’ll be in the background scooping some ice cream.”

#sebastian stan #endings beginnings #drake doremus #gossip girl #shailene woodley

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thehollowprince · 4 years

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Superhero ask: 2, 13, 14 and 15?

2. Who’s your least favorite superhero? (no hate, just someone you don’t care for)

Wolverine (Logan Howlett). I know he's like a "fan favorite" or something, but after all these years, I'm just bored with him. I don't hate him or anything, I'm just sick and tired of them shoving him into every single story, even when he doesn't need to be there. He has a history with everyone and he's been everywhere and he has an important connection to everything.

Its exhausting.

After two decades of that being the norm, I'm done with it. That's why I was thrilled when Laura took up the mantle instead, but even still... there's Logan.

13. A villain who genuinely scared you

Answered here.

14. If you could bring one hero back to life, who would it be?

Well, with the House of X/Powers of X event, most of the dead mutants have been brought back to life via The Five, so...

Actually, scratch that. There is someone I'd being back to life, one of the few times that never happened in the comics (a rarity for the X-Men), and that's Kevin Ford.

I will never get over how bitter I am with how they treated Kevin. Here's a mutant who's power means that he can never touch another living thing lest he kill and decompose them. Yeah, that's his power. Any contact with organic material and it immediately dematerializes. He accidentally killed his father when his powers activated and it's all been downhill since.

He had a crush on a girl who had a crush on another student, and the one time he touched her after M-Day (when he thought he'd lost his powers) he caused extreme necrosis to her arm.

All he wanted to do was hold her hand! Can you imagine going through life with absolutely no physical contact? I felt (and still feel) so bad for this kid, and mad at all the Marvel writers at the time for the simple fact that they never had Kevin even share a scene with Rogue, let alone interact with her or even talk to her. Y'know, the one member of the X-Men who also couldn't touch others lest she drain them of their life force and either knock them unconscious or even kill them.

Huge failure on Marvel's part!

And then, to make matters worse, they had Kevin fall under the influence of Selene, the Black Queen and had Kevin fall to the Dark Side and become a fully fledged villain, up until he was killed in battle. Still one of the most heartbreaking scenes for me because when he realized his powers weren't working against Josh (Elixer), who's omega-level biokinesis outclassed his death touch, he starts begging for his life and you're reminded of how this was just a scared teenager deprived of human contact and ostracized even by his own community for something he couldn't control.

Also, let's bring back Jay Guthrie, the younger brother of Cannonball and Husk who was ruthlessly killed by those anti-mutant assholes who took advantage of the chaos that came about post M-Day and literally crucified poor Jay because he had wings (and the voice) of an angel.

I was looking forward to his growing relationship with Sooraya (bring her back any time Marvel!)

And while we're at it, bring back all the depowered students that were killed post M-Day for no other reason than they used to be mutants. Being back DJ and Dryad and Kidogo and Rubbermaid and Network and all the others.

Mutants have suffered enough without the writers having to kill off all the kids!

15. Here’s your chance to rant about how your fav deserved better. Just go for it.

Scott Summers was right and this is the hill I will make my last stand on.

One of the things I've loved over the years was watching Scott grow disillusioned by Xavier's methods when it came to mutant-human relations. I liked seeming him outright question their paraplegic leader and calling him out and reminding him that it was Scott who led the team. (Still would love to see Scott and Alec beat the shit out of Xavier after what happened to their brother on the first Krakoa, but that's a rant for another time).

Scott was well on his way to being the next Magneto and I, for one, would have fully endorsed him as he did what he could for mutants and their protection.

The downside of Scott's rebellious phase was that they kind of took it directly from Bobby. Before our beloved popsicle was known as just the jokester of the team, he was actually pretty rebellious himself. As the youngest member of the original X-Men, he was naturally a teenager who called out Xavier quite a bit, until the sudden shift in dynamic about twenty-five to thirty years ago, when they decided that Scott was going to abandon the boy scout persona and be more surly and make sure that Bobby just cracked jokes.

I'm hoping to ser Bobby reclaim his original title by avenging Kitty with Emma Frost against Sebastian Shaw in one of the upcoming issues.

Truth be told, I could rant for hours (days even!), about the treatment of most of (if not all of) the X-Men over the years, particularly the O5 after they started introducing new versions of the team every few years. I got sick of watching Scott and Jean and Hank and Bobby and Warren reduced to these kind of one-dimensional characters while everyone moved in to fangirl over the newer X-Men. And yes, I say that as someone who fanboys over all of the X-Men. Doesn't mean I can't be upset for those left along the wayside.

#ask and ye shall recieve #esevik #logan howlett #kevin ford #jay guthrie #scott summers was right #scott summers #bobby drake #superhero asks #x

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beck-ofalltrades · 4 years

Text

A Cold Heart is Reborn

Ciel Phantomhive x Oc Celest Winters pt. 1

"So, where are we headed, Sebastian?" Ciel asked his butler, who had been rereading the queen's letter the entire carriage ride.

"Hinode Village. The queen asked you to investigate the disappearances of many children of the local orphanage. " Sebastian responded, scanning the letter once again. Ciel sighed, who would kidnap orphans and why?

The pair arrived on a small street lined with businesses with homes in the back. Ciel looked around for the orphanage. When he didn't see it, he turned to Sebastian. "Where is it, Sebastian? I would like to get there and investigate before the perpetrator gets away." He said coming across as arrogant.

"I know not my Lord, perhaps we should ask a native," Sebastian suggested.

There was a street fight between what seemed to be a butcher and a stableman. Ciel just happened to walk a bit too close to them and his dark cloak was ripped by the butcher’s knife. The men didn’t realize what had happened and continued fighting. Ciel was furious.

"How dare you fight like animals without keeping the inhabitants in mind!? Do you know who I am!?" He yelled.

"A bratty kid who's gonna get beaten black and blue if he keeps acting like he can boss me around." The man answered. Sebastian stepped in before the man could hurt Ciel.

"Perhaps, we should find a seamstress to mend your cloak, my young lord," Sebastian suggested, peacefully. Ciel reluctantly agreed to leave the man in favor of getting his cloak mended. The two of them made their way to a nearby store labeled "Sunset Stitching", to do so.

They were greeted at the door by a blonde-haired, brown-eyed girl. Her enthusiasm only served to sour Ciel's mood more. "Good afternoon! I'm Laura Thorne, how can I help you today?"

"I need my cloak mended, that’s all," Ciel responded, reaching into his pocket for the money to pay the young girl.

"That should be no problem for our seamstress when she gets back." Laura smiled.

Ciel’s hand froze, and he raised his head. "You mean she is not here? Does she not care a customer may come by with work for her?" Ciel sneered. Laura gave a nervous smile waving both hands in front of her for accentuation.

"Oh, no, no. I sent her to get more supplies. Needles, thread, fabric; things she uses daily."

"Laura, how many times need I tell you; you do not need to explain yourself to the customer?” A young, female voice asked behind them.

Ciel turned to see a girl about his age and height, with red-brown hair, and piercing green eyes, well...eye, an eye patch covered her left eye. Her red gown seemed to be made for someone in a higher station in life; the fabric was of high quality and the style was closer to his own than Laura’s. Her cold gaze shifted from Laura to Ciel and settled on him for a moment. Sweeping up and down, seemingly studying him, debating whether he was a threat.

"Ah, you must be the seamstress Miss. Laura was telling us about." Sebastian said, politely smiling. But her gaze never left Ciel, even as she answered him.

“That’s right, Celest Winters." She said simply. "Am I correct to assume you have work for me or are you here simply to speak to the peasants?"

Her tone suggested she either didn't care or know about his status, either way, it angered Ciel to the point of shouting. "I beg your pardon, I am Ciel the earl of Phantomhive! I will not be spoken to this way!" Ciel exclaimed.

"Forgive me, but, I’m afraid, it takes a while for any news of any kind to get here; your status may as well be forgotten here." Celest’s voice took a tone of feigned submission, where her expression was a teasing smirk. "Anyhow, I would like to mend that cloak of yours as soon as possible."

"How did you know it was my cloak that needed mending? It could have been anything." Ciel shot back sassily.

"You mean besides the fact I heard you tell Laura that is your reason for being here? I had just come in when you told her that, so there was no need for further question." Celest, stated rather than asked. Ciel stiffened at her excellent point. He huffed, surrendering his cloak for her to mend. He met her gaze; her eye sparkled in triumph.

Why was his heart pounding? Why did his head feel so light? Why was the world falling away? Why did her bright green eye keep him from looking away? Why did she make him feel this way? The way her hair caught the light, the way her dress brought out the color of her eye, the way her voice carried a tone of sophistication, the way she seemed to emit confidence.

No, Ciel simply cannot be thinking these things, especially not towards her. She had no status, no nobility, no regal upbringing. Nothing that would even remotely allow something such as a relationship. His betrothal to Elizabeth prevented such a relationship.

Then he thought..."How would you like to work for me?" Ciel offered.

Celest's POV:

This boy could not be serious. How could he say that after everything that just happened, after he accused her of being ignorant, unobservant, and an absolute prat, he had the audacity to offer her a job at his manor?! That was all it took for her to snap on the spoiled brat of a boy.

"How dare you come into my shop and demand I fix your cloak after you insult my friend, accuse me of being lazy and inattentive to my shop, and claim your actions are justified by your being a nobleman?! This is the only shop within miles for anyone to have their..." Her sentence was interrupted by her breaking into a coughing fit. She covered her mouth with her hands to prevent herself from coughing in the boy's face. Laura rushed to her side, gently took Celest by the arm, and guided her to a nearby chair.

Once Celest was seated, Laura rushed to the room at the back of the small building and returned with a rag dipped in chloroform. Laura gently placed the rag over Celest’s mouth and nose; Celest clapped her hand over Laura’s. The pleasant aroma wrapped about Celest, causing her to feel pleasantly warm and lightheaded. The chloroform caused the muscles in her chest to relax, thus allowing her to breathe. As Celest physically relaxed, Laura took the rag away from her face, but Laura was far from done with her.

"You know this happens every time you get worked up. Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?" Laura tsked Celest. When she received no response, she turned to Ciel. "If she goes with you, will you make absolutely sure she is taken care of?"

"Oi! I believe I get a say in the matter!" Celest retorted, her voice hoarse from coughing, and mind cloudy from the chloroform.

Ciel seemed to ignore Celest’s protest and addressed Laura, "If she accepts, I can assure you she will be cared for."

Laura stood curtsying to him, "Thank you, my young lord. I will go pack her trunk." She then walked to Celest's room.

Celest called out to Laura, "I never agreed to any of this! I make no promises I'll stay!" When Laura didn't respond, Celest pouted.

Ciel then decided to butt in, "I assure you I can give you a reason to stay." He whispered.

"What, in Victoria’s name, would make me want to live with and work for a spoiled brat like you?" Celest spat.

Her question only served to make him smirk, a smirk she desperately wanted to wipe off his face. "I am the queen's watchdog; I investigate cases the queen deems especially important or threatening to the crown. You could be my first and possibly only partner, should you accept"

Now that sounded like something she could agree to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First fanfic on Tumblr!!

Let me know what y'all think!! Hope you enjoyed.

Courtney, out. Peace.✌

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chrisevansbabymama · 5 years

Text

Daddy Hair Care - Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 - Stop Trying To Make Fetch Happen:

“Your hair looks cute like that,” Chris commented, taking note of yet another new hairstyle Kayla wore.

She and his stylist, Lauren walked into his suite with their kits in tow, ready for his glam session for his final appearance for the day; a magazine press event that his publicist had urged him to attend to crystalise his relationship with the publication.

“I sense a little shade in there, because why are you only just noticing?” Kayla retorted. “Was that a backhanded compliment, Evans?”

“I meant,” Chris paused to rectify his carelessly worded statement, even though he genuinely meant the compliment. “I haven’t seen you with braids before, so I’m appreciating that your hair also looks cute like that. Emphasis on the also,”

“Okay, I’ll take it, only because you’re sweating,” because teasing him was Kayla’s love language.

“And why would I be sweating? You don’t make me nervous -”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” Kayla cut him off and smiled at him from across the room.

“Are you going to be annoying again this evening?” he pretended not to like their little quips.

This was just a continuation from earlier when they had glammed him for his Jimmy Fallon interview, where the two went back and forth in their best bid to verbally outdo each other, as usual.

“Hi to you too Chris,” Lauren finally inserted herself, smiling at him knowingly as she brushed past him.

“What?” Chris eyed her, playing dumb.

Ten years of working together they had become best friends and they could literally communicate with just their eyes. This was working to Lauren’s advantage as she often found pleasure in tormenting him about his teen-like crush on Kayla. He would dismiss it with an eye roll, but his body language would always sell him out.

“You know what,” she mumbled but the knowing smile was still plastered on her face solely designed to haunt him.

“Whatever,” he grumbled. “Think I could shower real quick before we start? I’m covered in gunk from the Fallon interview,”

“Sure, we have an hour before you have to be out of the door,” Lauren nodded, the clock reading 5:37pm.

“You know, I’m getting tired of you two acting like I’m not around when you flirt,” Lauren said the minute she heard the shower faucet run after Chris had left the room.

Kayla barely looked up as she unzipped her grooming kit bag, setting up near her usual spot by the window for optimal lighting.

“Here we go again with this tired topic,”

“Exactly, guess who’s tired of watching you two flirt and do nothing about it,” Lauren asked rhetorically before imitating Chris, “Your hair looks cute like that,”

Kayla chuckled, not convinced but found her hand subconsciously going to touch her new braids, “He’s mocking me, he saw me earlier before Fallon and didn’t say anything,”

“In his defense, there were a lot of people around for him to say anything, that’d been weird,”

Kayla had been working with Chris as his hairstylist and make-up artist for almost four months now. She had fit into the team so seamlessly, with all credits due to Chris for being so welcoming and warm. But therein lay the problems: he was over-achingly good looking, and by far the best celebrity client she had worked with. So much so that the four months she’d known him breezed by and she seemed to fall for his charm every day. Every morning she woke up, she felt like a teenager excited to go to school because she got to sit next to her crush in class. Except with Chris, she got to play in his hair and get extremely close to his face. And touch him. Getting paid for it was seeming more like a perk.

Everyone around them seemed to notice how well they got along. With Lauren being around them the most, she recognised their chemistry instantly and was the first one to call them out on it. Despite being met with their discomfort and denial, she didn’t let it stop her from continuing her torment. If they were going to flirt and act like she didn’t exist, then she too could have her own fun with them.

“This whole convo is so weird, let it rest,” Kayla complained.

“You like him, he likes you. What’s weird?”

“Sure he likes me, I’m clearly his type,” Kayla rolled her eyes sarcastically. “Seriously, don’t you get bored of this subject?”

“You are his type,” Lauren affirmed with a ‘duh’ tone.

“Okay Lauren, if you say so.”

“Lest you forget his daughter Mya is-”

“Mixed race? So suddenly he likes all black women?” Kayla laughed.

“No, I’m disproving your theory that he doesn’t date black women. Besides, you, have entertained this conversation hence you do care and which means you do like him,”

Kayla pursed her lips before stuttering, “I...look, he’s hot, granted and a nice guy, but that’s about it. Celebs are not my type, too much drama and baggage,”

“That’s a sweeping statement,” Lauren was clearly in defense of Chris.

“Why’d you keep pushing for this anyway? What’s in it for you?”

“He hadn’t been himself for a while, his old self has resurfaced since you started working with him. It’s just…nice y’know? To have the real Chris back,” Lauren said solemnly. “I just want him to be happy,”

“I love my job and would never cross that line with Chris, besides, he’s a good friend,” Kayla said, barely believing herself.

She also didn’t believe Lauren, the last time something of this sort happened, was in high school with the popular kid and that didn’t end well.

So why would it be different with Chris? He was practically the popular guy from the moment the final Avengers: Infinity War trailer was released; the man had been trending on Twitter for almost a week.

After a few minutes, he reemerged from his room from his shower, looking handsome and cuddly as ever, just wrapped in his hotel robe. He sat in the chair by the window, enjoying the view of the city as Kayla began her magic on him, her back to the mirror next to the floor-to-ceiling window he faced.

“How long are you planning to grow this?” Kayla asked.

She raked her fingers through his hair, distributing the product from root to ends. Chris always loved it when she did that. He’d melt into her touch, his eyes fluttering shut as his body relaxed. Maybe Sebastian was right, again; it’d been too long since he’d been with a woman. How could someone simply touching his hair make him lose his mind?

Kayla loved the way his hair felt in her hands; silky and soft. Even better, she liked how vulnerable he always seemed in her chair, which was such a contrast to his towering height, ragged beard and sculpted frame.

He looked vulnerable in her chair because his mind was busy, always wondering what it would feel like to kiss her and have her hands play in his hair. Or tug at it.

It didn’t help that the woman worked in such a close proximity to his face. She permeated every one of his senses…

Her confidence in her own skin was attractive; she had this way about her… a beauty that was very easy on the eyes.

Her soothing voice and hearty, belly laugh was contagious.

Her touch was confident and comforting. It felt like home.

Her sweet but punchy bergamot and neroli scent reminded him of heady summer nights.

Her taste… he always wondered.

“I’m actually supposed to cut it soon for Lobby Hero,” he said sadly. He fished his phone out of his robe pocket and showed her the character mood board for the play. “They gave me this buddy here for reference,”

“Oh,” Lauren walked over and glanced over his shoulder at his phone screen.

Kayla looked up at him from the screen, then back at the phone and him again, as if trying to envision the look on him.

“Uhmm the moustache...too?”

Chris nodded, pouting as he whined, “I don’t wike it,”

“Oh...” Lauren repeated, stifling a laugh by biting her bottom lip.

“Can you believe it? A pornstache,” he cried.

“Wow, the next few months are going to be rough for you,” Kayla finally commented.

“What, without my hair I’m nothing? Is that what you’re saying?”

No, I just won’t have anything to imagine tugging on...she thought.

“Not what I said, you just said that yourself,” Kayla corrected him. “I’m just saying, the world went nuts over your bearded look in the Infinity War trailer just last week...this look’s gonna be a big middle finger to everyone that supported you,”

“You’re so charming, y’know that?” he said rolling his eyes. “I can say bye to my career, because clearly my hair’s kept me going all these years,”

“You could always try porn? With that beard and all,” Lauren said, back to her station by the rail.

“Maybe you can write my character reference,” Chris shot back.

“Oh, I’m so glad it’s Friday, one more day with you I swear I’ll strangle you,” Laura huffed.

“So it’s BDSM you’re into?” Chris asked.

“Chris!”

“We’re all adults here,” he shrugged.

“You’re lot,”

“I am, you can regroup over the weekend,” He sighed, but he looked smug like he was proud of himself. “Doing anything nice other than getting away from me?”

“My weekend starts tonight, shower, room service, a huge bottle of wine and bed. Then lather, rinse and repeat. I’m staying in bed all weekend,”

“Sounds like a dream,” Kayla moaned. “Can I join you?”

“For which bit; the shower, wine or bed all weekend?” Lauren asked, her sole purpose to get a reaction out of Chris.

And it worked, his breath stilled at the visuals that flooded him, but he quickly composed himself before he breathed an easy laugh to let Lauren know he was unaffected by her antics.

“Girl, no! For the wine and room service,” Kayla scrunched up her face at her. “I’m hungry,”

“What a shame, my bed will be very lonely tonight,”

“Take me out to dinner and I might just come back to your room,” Kayla teased.

“Well, why don’t we all get something to eat tonight, Chris, think you can make it?”

“I doubt it, I finish around 9:30ish. I can’t make you guys wait that long to eat,�� Chris said sadly.

The idea of going out seemed very tempting, after his conversation with his mom yesterday he realised he needed to start making a few changes, starting with his social life. Kayla being in attendance was a bonus, if not the main incentive.

“We’ll survive,” Lauren interjected quickly, not wanting to give him a window to bail out because he always bailed.

Chris decided that if he was going to spend the next two hours at a press event, fake smiling the night away at cameras and fellow industry personnel, then he surely deserved a nice private dinner with his team to unwind without having to be ‘Chris Evans,’ the famous guy. He wanted to push the envelope even further and have a drink or two, or even eat from the list of barred food for his Cap diet. Just to prove a point.

“That works for me. I’ll let Tiffany and Keith know,” Lauren said, considering his assistant and publicist who completed ‘Team Chris Evans’. “Kay, You in?”

Chris surprised himself when he didn’t immediately worry about going back to Mya and Dodger when Lauren extended the dinner invitation. He was going to take his mom and Seb’s advice to put himself out there.

It was about time, he wasn’t getting any younger.

But he wasn’t surprised when he’d found himself holding his breath, waiting for Kayla to respond, because frankly, he knew deep down that her reply was going to make or break the deal. Of course he loved Lauren and she was great company, but she wasn’t Kayla.

“Of course I’m in,”

Chapter 4.1

____________

Disclaimer: Gif Not My Own

Tagged As Requested: @mississippifangirl @thinemineours @tessathedragon @thottio @caninoona @eratotalles @allonszassbutt @thinemineours @dreamingwithmendes @void-imaginations @daybreak96 @l-auteuse @cliffordasparagus @bumber-car-s @lvlyab @melaninmarvel

#Chris Evans #Daddy Hair Care #Chris Evans fanfic #Chris Evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fan fic #Chris Evans fan fiction #Chris Evans imagine #Chris Evans daddy #daddy chris evans #chris evans gif #Chris Evans x woc #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x black ofc #sebastian stan #Sebastian Stan fan fic #Sebastian Stan fanfic

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grimoireweavers · 4 years

Text

Inside the Mind

{ plotted starter for Seb and Illya ;; @ataash }

♞—-» STEM was...

Fuck, Sebastian didn’t even know how to describe STEM at all. During his time in this impossible world, he’d come across documents, journal entries, and taped recordings that offered some insight on what was going on in this nightmare and why the nightmare even existed in the first place. It helped Sebastian understand that this was some sort of experiment that took its subjects to a different plain of existence, almost like a reality within a reality.

In truth, it sort of reminded him of the movie Inception. A silly thing to compare real life to, but a comparison that he couldn’t really overlook either, because the further he moved through the ever-changing and contorting environments that seemed to make no logical sense, Sebastian very much felt as if he were moving from one dream to another, further and further down until the possibility arouse that he would never be able to come back.

Letting such thoughts grab hold of him in such a way, though, brought about feelings of hopelessness. What was the point in fighting if he didn’t understand what was going on in the first place and had no real way out of the dark at all? It would be much easier to give himself over to the corruption that seemed to infect anyone who dared to brave the false-reality. He’d even watched as the corruption appeared and took root in his best friend and partner, Joseph Oda.

Yes, his relationship with Joseph had been strained as of late. Ever since Lily’s death and Myra’s disappearance after numerous attempts to convince Sebastian that Lily was alive, Sebastian’s reliance on alcohol as a means to cope grew worse and worse. Sebastian wasn’t oblivious to his problems, as many people who spoke about why Myra ran off and disappeared wrote off Sebastian’s worries and suspicions around her disappearance as her having enough of his shit. They often blamed him for chasing her off, since they both dealt with the grief of Lily’s death in their own ways and Sebastian “couldn’t be there for Myra because he was too worried about drowning his own sorrows in a liquor glass.”

The opposite, in fact, was true. Myra kept spouting off insane conspiracy theories over Lily’s death, even going as far as to claim she was still alive. She never provided Sebastian with proof and instead of sounding able-minded, she sounded crazy. Sebastian believed in the only thing they could do. Accept Lily’s death. Grieve. Deal with their loss together. Move forward. They had to accept reality before they could ever even begin to heal and as much as it pained him to say such, it’s what Myra needed to hear. Myra never listened and the further she pushed into her crazy ramblings about Lily still being alive, it drove a wedge between them. How could it not? She wouldn’t listen to him. She was picking at the wound and letting it fester and he could do nothing to stop her.

Myra ran off without him, likely to follow these leads about their daughter that she never actually shared with him, and no one would listen to him. Because it was his fault, his drinking, and his attempts to cope with the most horrific thing that could happen to a parent. Everyone thought so. He suspected that even Joseph thought so, despite how many times he reassured Sebastian that he was on his side.

Joseph worried for his friend, Sebastian knew that.

But Joseph went too far when he actually got their chief involved in Sebastian’s developing drinking problem. Seb never pretended not to have the issue, but it never interfered with work. He didn’t show up to the precinct drunk. He didn’t go on cases and investigations intoxicated. His addiction never stopped him from being efficient and effective, it was only a way to fill the silence of his loneliness when no one else was around to ground him. And Joseph had to go and run his mouth, thinking it would help the detective get better.

How, exactly? That was Sebastian’s question.

The turmoil in their relationship made watching Joseph slowly turn into a monster, reverting first to multiple suicide attempts to keep himself from losing his humanity, to actually turning on him no less horrific, though. Joseph was the one friend Sebastian still had in the world, the one person that would always have his back, and Joseph was just... gone. Boils and protruding veins spread across his flesh and the burning, red hot rage that pulsated in his eyes as he finally turned on Sebastian were not Joseph. Fuck, Seb wasn’t even sure there was anything left of Joseph in there.

And he could feel that same evil bubbling through for him as well... It was inside of him, trying desperately to claw its way out and take control. The longer people stayed inside STEM, the more they became part of STEM, and once they were part of the machine, they would have a roll to fill. Every cog had to spin, and every piece had a part to play. Once you lost yourself, you were nothing more than a cog, nothing more than a tool to keep this plain of reality as real and as authentic as possible.

So, what, again, was the point? Sebastian didn’t know how to navigate this place. The world was always changing. The second he thought he knew where he was going, he would plummet through the ground or be hurled at full force through the sky and land somewhere unrecognizable and foreign. He barely had enough time to navigate that new section before he was tossed somewhere else. A never-ending cycle that always brought about new and dangerous terrains as well as mindless creatures that only registered him as a threat.

The Haunted, as some of the notes he’d found, were the most common. That’s what he assumed happened to Joseph. They seemed to be the most normal form of corruption STEM had over a person who’d been trapped here too long. They were almost zombie-like in the way they moved and rushed people with ravenous hunger, though they didn’t actually appear to have any interest in devouring their victims and their condition didn’t spread by bite ( thank whatever God there might be, honestly ). There were other beings, though, larger, more volatile and hostile. The Keeper, with a safe for a head and the ability to kill itself and respawn from another safe elsewhere, always carrying that awful-smelling sac full of who knew what and a massive meat mallet that could crush the head of a human with one swing. The Sadist, a Haunted that was larger, stronger, and always seemed to be wielding a chainsaw as it’s weapon of choice. The Shiyo, a water monster that Sebastian never really got a good look at because it was always submerged in murky masses, unable to be seen by the naked eye. Laura, Ruvik’s mutated woman with six long, spidery limbs that moved just like a spider would. She was quick and her hands ended in curved talons that could carve flesh from bone.

Ruvik himself, a rather average looking specter who suffered severe burns all over his body. He seemed to linger in the background, pulling the strings, rather than confronting Sebastian himself. He always had an eye on the detective, but he rarely engaged firsthand.

And those were just to name a few of the many opponents Sebastian had to avoid or put down with his small arsenal of collected and modified weaponry. Thank fuck he actually knew how to use most basic firearms. Had a person less skilled than him in survival come into this world, they wouldn’t have lasted long. Which was probably why there were so many Haunted running amuck seemingly everywhere.

He finally found himself in a decrepit city. It looked like Krimson City, the place Sebastian had been born and raised and still lived to this day, but it was difficult to tell with the way the entire city seemed to float over nothing, the ground cracking apart so that anything unfortunate enough to fall into the fissures would cascade into nothingness. Buildings crumbled and sat at odd, unnatural angles, some even leaning so heavily on the building beside them, it was a wonder they didn’t send one another tumbling over like dominos.

Supplies were his top concern. After Joseph’s turning, he’d been completely alone to fend for himself, save for a boy named Leslie that wandered in and out of the picture. Leslie was... not all there. He was almost always accompanied by his doctor, who seemed to act as a carer for him in this world, though why either of them was here, he couldn’t quite discern. He’d run into them both together and separately a few times, and Sebastian had taken Leslie under his wing to protect him twice now, only to have the boy wander off again. Every time Sebastian attempted to follow him, the world would shift, and he would be dumped out into a completely new place. Alone.

Despite his worry, he knew he needed to keep moving, restock, and keep himself alive. He wouldn’t be any good to anyone if he was dead or worse, if he allowed himself to become Haunted. Why he still had the drive to fight and push through when it all seemed to hopeless, he didn’t know. Even if he did make it out of here, what did he have to go back to?

Every time those thoughts crept up, he stubbornly pushed them down and forced himself to take another step. That’s all he could do. Take another step. Step again. And again. Do the next thing, and then the next. It was the only way to navigate and survive a place like STEM, a place that didn’t make sense.

Part of him, a very little part all the way in the back of his mind, had already accepted that he must have snapped, that he’d finally lost it, and that none of this was real. Maybe a really elaborate fever dream? Maybe he was in a coma? Or maybe he’d died and gone to Hell. Sebastian always tried to be the best man that he could be, but he’d sinned enough and hurt enough in his life that if he’d woken up dead in Hell, he wouldn’t even be surprised.

‘Sorry, Mom,’ he kept finding himself thinking.

Finally, he managed to take shelter in a mostly intact office building. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stay there long. The Living always had a way of attracting the creatures of STEM, no matter how well they hid, but he’d at least be able to stop, rest for a breather, and hopefully find some supplies that would prove to be useful.

Making his way inside, he rummaged through a few mailboxes and desks in the entryway, finding a couple of spare bullets, a questionable looking syringe filled with a liquid that was so bright, he wondered if it’d glow under blacklight, and a journal entry ripped from its spine. The handwriting was smudged and it was difficult to make out, but it said something about Ruvik working with the doctor that was always with Leslie. Strange...

There was also a missing persons poster hanging on the front bulletin board. He found a lot of those during his time here. Were they the people who had lost themselves in STEM, he wondered?

He made his way up a few more floors, checking drawers, closets, and cabinets as he went for anything that might be useful, though the building showed signs of already being searched. Drawers left open and doors hanging on their hinges suggested that someone had already looted this place. Not exactly surprising, seeing how many people had apparently been here, but Sebastian wondered if this building was not quite as safe as he first expected. Was the person still here? Was it even a person?

Footsteps from above him caught his attention and he quickly lowered himself down into a crouch, slowly moving along the wall for cover as he made his way to the stairwell at the end of the hall. If someone or something else was here, he needed to know, and he needed to put it down before it found him if it turned out to be a threat. He found himself hopeful that might have been Joseph or, for Fuck sake, even Kidman might have been a blessing at this point. Even if the Junior Detective working under him and Joseph had proven to be rather sketchy, she was at least still alive and herself as far as he knew.

Sneaking his way up the stairs, he emerged on the floor above him, and he slowly pulled the revolver hanging in his shoulder holster from its protective pocket. Cocking it, Sebastian moved towards the source of the sound, only to find a rather normal-looking man in one of the cubicle office rooms. Well, normal wasn’t the right word. Tall—far taller than Sebastian—and well built, he definitely wasn’t your average, run of the mill human. If Sebastian’s mind had been allowed to wander, he even would have gone as far as to say handsome. But he looked human, a human not infected with the curses of this terrible place. No signs of turning and no signs of hostility. Yet.

Was he even real? That was an important question in these parts. And if he was, who the Hell was he, and what was he doing here?

Sebastian debated whether or not to engage, pressing his back firmly against the hallway wall next to the doorframe as he peaked inside the room, watching the man flip through documents atop desks and rummage through drawers. So, he was likely the reason that there wasn’t much to actually take in this building, then? Maybe that was a confirmation that he was, in fact, real?

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; in character )#( sebastian ; verse ) inside STEM #( thread ) inside the mind #( character ) illya kuryakin #ataash #closed starter #{ OMG I DID A THING!!!!#I have so many more things to do BUT I DID A THING!!!! }

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phantom-soldat · 5 years

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Meeting Sebastian Stan.

This is not an opportunity I ever expected to have, at least not anytime soon. When he was first announced to be a guest at MCM Comic Con (London, May 2019) I had a bunch of people tagging me in the announcement post. Sebastian is an actor that means a lot to me - He’s caring and has struggled with a lot of the same things that I struggle with; from anxiety to depression, and generally being a bit lost in the world. We’ve all seen the posts of him commenting on fan’s posts, giving them advice while simultaneously putting more positivity and support into the world. For this reason, and more, he is incredibly inspiring and important to me. I aspire to be as supportive, caring, loving, goofy and giving as this man.

So, when he was announced, I knew I had to meet him. For me, it wasn’t an option: I had to. It was simply too important for me not to.

One thing I had wanted to do before I met him was get a tattoo of the Winter Soldier, however, due to money issues and time, etc, I had never had the opportunity to get one before comic con. Until comic-con. Another opportunity came up when MCM announced that they were having tattoo artists at the convention, and so I booked in with a lovely lady by the name of Laura, from Empire INK in Edinburgh. Thankfully, I managed to save up enough money for the tattoo - Through both selling possessions and saving up money from my day-job.

She was absolutely lovely and great with communicating the design I had in mind. I wanted something to match the other tattoos on the opposite arm; a portrait, with his signature at the bottom (on my opposite arm I have a Hela portrait). The Bucky tattoo would be on my left inner forearm, covering self-harm scars with something - someone/a character - that means so much to me. Bucky, much like myself, has been through a lot of mental issues. He’s lost, finding his way, but despite all of the issues he’s had? He’s made it through it all, he’s continued fighting despite all of the challenges he’s faced... and that’s something I can remind myself: I can fight and get through the challenges I face. I will survive, and have survived. The significance of this tattoo, and getting Sebastian to sign it, was and is extremely important to me.

Which leads to the first picture.

First picture. So, on the first day of comic-con (the Friday) Sebastian wasn't there. This was the day I booked in for a full-day session for my tattoo. Laura, my artist, was absolutely ecstatic as she’s also a fan of the guy, and was super pumped to find out that Sebastian would be seeing her work. The session lasted for, roughly, seven hours with only one five-minute break for both my artist and I to have something to eat. During the course of the tattoo, the MCM staff came up to view the process of the tattoo; the security were very excited about it, and got the media team to come down to the section of the hall where all of the tattoo artists were. It was all very exciting, talking to them was lovely - They were all so supportive, kind and frequently returned throughout the course of the day to see the process. Alas, the media team turned up and took a few photos: One of which winded up on the MCM social media sites: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Both Laura and I freaked out, it was getting a lot of attention.

Second/third picture. Saturday came around fairly quickly. This was the day where I would try to get my autograph - The day I HAD to get it, as to not disturb the healing process of my tattoo. I was dressed as Wakanda Bucky that day, deciding to cosplay something more comfortable due to both the pain from my arm, the hot weather, and the fact that I couldn’t restrict my arm in tight costumes.

Before the convention, I had put together a little gift-box for Sebastian to give back to him the love, care and gratitude he gives to his fans. Inside, there was a Winter Soldier book (Civil War) that I had made him; personalised on the inside to, firstly, look like it held Winter Soldier documents which lead on to messages I had collected from fans. All stories about how he had changed their lives for the better, how he had made a positive impact on the world. I included other gifts, too, like a t-shirt (that says ‘Straight Outta Cryo’, much like his ‘Straight Outta Romania’ shirt), some drawings of mine, a Bucky, Nat and Sam tsum-tsum and a little lego figurine of Bucky.

So, with the box in my arms, I waited for about an hour and a half in the autograph queue. Although I missed his panel, it was worth it, because I knew that if I had attended that I would only spend more time waiting, and less time with my friends later on.

While waiting in the queue, I was alone and full of anxiety. This was a big moment for me. I’d actually see him. Meet him. Something I’d been waiting for years and years to have the opportunity for. People were trying to snag sneaky pictures of him: going on their friends shoulders just to get a peak of the infamous Seb Stan.

Eventually, it was my turn to walk up to the table where he was signing. Due to the sheer amount of people that were there, it was very rushed, for they wanted to get through as many people as possible: I knew this going in, and so I’d been going over and over what I’d say to him in my head. With a smile, he greeted me; it was clear that he was tired, having flown in the previous morning and hadn’t stopped working since. Rumour has it he worked through his breaks to continue meeting fans - between the photo-ops, the panels and the signings he must have been really exhausted, with jet-lag on top of that, and so I felt really bad for the guy.

In brief words I explained my gift to him, and he smiled and let out a laugh upon hearing what the t-shirt said. At the time he didn’t open the box, because it was simply too busy to do so and the convention staff were pushing him to continue going through as many people as he could. In the panel I had missed, or the panel the next day (I can’t remember which one) I believe he referenced this and said how he wished he could spend more time with us all, and talk to us all properly. I still treasure every second I got to spend with him, though, because as previously stated, it was a moment that is extremely close to heart, and I know a lot of people wouldn’t have had this opportunity (this was also why I gathered fan messages, so that I could give him something from them in-case they never do have this opportunity).

The convention staff got me to show him what I wanted signed: Most people brought posters, or pop-vinyls, but I showed him my arm and said I’d like my wrist tattooed. He delicately held my hand and arm as he signed it, and then I was on my way once I had thanked him.

Afterwards, I immediately called up my bestfriend and burst into tears. I had met him. I had thanked him. I had given him a gift and, now, I would have his autograph on me forever, knowing that I have a very personal reminder to myself: I can do this. Whatever ‘this’ is, I can do it.

Due to the overwhelming emotions I was having, the busy crowds, the heat, and the pain and toll the tattoo session the previous day had caused me, I did have quite a big panic-attack. During this time, I had to go outside and get some fresh air, but my best-friend stayed on the phone with me and calmed me down - I am eternally grateful for his friendship and support, and for moments like these when he helps ground me back to reality.

This leads on to the next photo; where, once I’d had some fresh air, a drink and some food, I went back inside to get the signature tattooed. Once again, Laura and I freaked out over it, and I told her all about it excitedly as she finished up tattooing the autograph and shading around it. She even went back over the little red star at the top of my wrist, which Seb had signed over. Laura did an amazing job with the tattoo, and worked the signature into it flawlessly. I can’t thank her enough.

Sunday. This was the day that my photo-op was booked (that was an entire process of its own. Tickets sold out within 2-3 minutes - I am so, SO thankful that I managed to snag one). Much like the autograph process, the MCM staff were trying to get through as many people as possible, and so the entire thing was very ‘click and go’. Generally, this is the case with photo-ops at conventions - It’s less personal, more of a ‘capture the moment’ type of thing.

On this day, I was dressed as Black Widow from The Winter Soldier. It wasn’t the best costume I have ever worn, admittedly, but I was excited for my photo-op none the less. My costume broke on the way to the con, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me, and once again I was waiting in a long line for one last moment with Sebastian.

I knew that he likes Bucky and Natasha’s relationship in the comics, and that he would’ve liked them to be together in the movies. This is a ship that I also sail, along with Stucky, but I thought that being Nat would be a lot better as it’s also something that he enjoys. I actually managed to capture a sneaky video on my phone of me approaching him during the photo-op. They were very strict about no-photos apart from the one you paid for, which I understand, but at the same time, this was too important for me not to try and grab sneaky videos, etc. So I did. Sue me. (Please don’t, I’m going to be a poor student soon).

As I approached him during the photo-op, he looked a lot less tired, which I was thankful to see. He greeted me with a smile once more, and I showed him my finished tattoo - I kind of stood my ground and spoke to him very briefly before the photo-op was taken. Most people were conveyor belted through their sessions with him, but I was determined to show him the finished product. With a smile and an expression somewhat akin to awe, he said that it was amazing. We soon moved onto talking about what I wanted for the photo-op, and it took a split second for us both to get into position.

I wanted to look as if we were dancing romantically, as Natasha has a history of ballet. The final photo in the post was my photo-op, and I couldn’t be happier with it. It was a very full-on weekend, but I enjoyed every second of it.

Thank you MCM for giving me, and others, the opportunity to meet such an amazing man. Thank you Sebastian for flying all the way to London to take the time to meet your fans in England. Thank you Laura, for being an amazing tattoo-artist and for the nerdy talks we had during my tattoo session, and for giving me a piece of work on my art that is very, very treasured to me; and, finally, thank you to all of my friends for supporting and loving me, for continuously encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and to keep on fighting.

And continue fighting on I will, just like Bucky.

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elfnerdherder · 4 years

Text

Opus Dei: Chapter 5

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A special thanks to my patrons: @sylarana @evertonem @starlit-catastrophe @frostylicker Duhaunt6, Superlurk, Mendacious Bean, and Laura G! <3

Chapter 5: Foil(s)

Two weeks later brought a quarter-long photography class, as well as a history class that didn't care so long as the final by the end of the semester was a passing grade. They kept him busy, helped him get his mind focused on the long work ahead, the structure and necessity of it. Jail had given his mind the time to wander, to roam within the confines of his cell. Now, the openness, the freedom of it was staggering, and he desperately needed to fill it. He had to stay busy. He needed distractions. His was a bait that took its time to cast and be bit.

The news let the death slip under the current of more engaging stories that had a neat bow to tie on the end of them. Will resisted looking up the murder that'd coupled potently with Beverly's thesis and led to his release. What notes had the Chesapeake Ripper trailed along there?

He reasoned one painting was enough. One photo. He didn't look up the first murder.

Insomnia led to studying Jael and Sisera in the darkness of his groaning home. If it was Hannibal--the longer he looked, the more sure of it he was-- it was a fitting sort of painting to have been the victim's last to paint before death. Will should have asked Jack for a picture of it, if nothing else. Had the Ripper placed it there, or had Sebastian truly been painting such a classical recreation? How had he chosen him? What had made him choose the poor man?

School would help with the insomnia. If he kept his hours busy, he would be too tired to stay awake.

It was in that very first class that he met Francis Dolarhyde, and that was only because Will had gotten lost and slipped in right in the middle of roll call, late but undeterred. Francis Dolarhyde sat alone, although he wasn't bothered when Will sat beside him at the table farthest back from the board. Will pulled out his notebook and his homework, raising his hand less than a minute later when his name was called. Dolarhyde's broad shoulders and muscled build took up nearly half of the table, but they'd just have to manage.

"You have a...nice dog," Francis observed, nodding to Will's photograph. It was an introductory aspect to the class: Tell Us About You.

"Thanks." He glanced over to Francis' photograph of a painting, something that'd been purposefully set up on an easel in the middle of the forest. A photo of a painting; the artistic type. "Do you like that painting, or do you like the aesthetic?"

Francis Dolarhyde had a square jaw and short, buzzed brunette hair. He turned to look at his photograph, and the scarring at his lip gave his smile an altogether crooked appearance.He was easily the biggest guy in class, the jock that all the girls wrote home about. "My favorite painting. The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed With the Sun," he said carefully. His voice caught on the hiss of the 's'.

"Your favorite painting?"

He nodded.

"This has been my favorite painting as of late," Will shared, and for reasons he couldn't quite explain he pulled out his phone and showed his table-mate Jael and Sisera.

Maybe it was the fact that it was an absolute stranger, or maybe it was the fact that his painting seemed just as raw beneath the surface of the oil. He had a lot of alone time at the house. Just Will and Winston. Going to school would force him to be sociable. The dragon lay poised just beneath the maiden, prepared to devour her. Jael lay poised just above Sisera, ready to impale him.

Francis gave the painting a long, searching look, and he seemed to see the same. "I wonder if she'd bear his screams the way she bears the dust from the labor of carving her will into stone," he commented, and he looked to Will with a briefly flickering expression of interest. "He lay like marble."

"I think she'd bear them well enough," Will said, and he looked at her. "I don' think this is the first time she's done this."

"Nor the last?"

Will thought of Alana curling up in Hannibal's bed, cozy, and nodded gravely.

"Do you know why he would have been foolish enough to put his head beneath her hammer?"

"He trusted her enough and fell asleep," Will said. "That was his undoing."

"The moral, then, is don't make his mistake," Francis said, and too late Will realized it was a dryly- uttered joke.

"Wish I'd gotten that advice a long time ago," he said with a smile.

Francis Dolarhyde laughed, a soft huff, and it was decided they could work together for the quarter.

Two weeks also took him on a date with Molly Foster, whose returned call was so upbeat and pleasant despite his awkward voicemail that he hadn't had the heart to begin to explain why maybe she shouldn't go on a date with him. Would the Chesapeake Ripper target her, should he get too close? Would he kill her in a fit of rage the way he had Charlie?

He found the nicest restaurant he could expect closeby, and so they enjoyed endless cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster. She didn't know him; he reasoned she wouldn't want to stray too far away from home.There was a killer about, or didn't she know?

"That's great that you're going to school. I barely finished, but I'm waiting for something to take off. I hear DC's a good place to look, so that's why I moved here." She had an honest, girl-next-door look that made the conversation flow despite the fact he couldn't quite meet her eyes more than twice throughout the main course.

Nerves had, in truth, gotten the best of him. It was the first honest, genuine date he'd ever been on, after all.

"Photography isn't my thing, but it was the only quarterly class they could offer on such short notice. I just wanted to get started. The history professor said that as long as the final had a passing grade, he'd allow it." He focused on her lovely blouse, floral beneath a cozy cardigan. The orange restaurant lights made her skin golden. "What did you study?"

"Business analysis...no, no I know, boring," she laughed, seeing his expression. It made him look up and meet her eyes, warm and inviting. "That's why I'm taking my time. I want to analyze the right business."

"You're careful in choosing," Will said then, looking to her lips, "as an analyst."

"I am," she agreed, and she stared unabashedly back.

Then he walked her to her car, and she stood blinking up at him, the lights burning from the lamp posts illuminating her face in a fuzzy, warm orange. "I had fun tonight, Will Graham."

"I did too, Molly Foster," he mimicked her inflection lightly, and he managed to look away from the collar of her cardigan to meet her eyes. He smiled slightly, although he couldn't keep her gaze.

"I'd want to go on a second date, if you wanted to take me on it."

His mouth turned to cotton, and his smile grew, guilt doing its best to curtail the pleasure that threatened to overtake his voice. "I'd like to take you on a second date."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he waited until she drove off until he turned and went back to his truck. He stood by it for a time, thinking, then kicked the tire angrily and drove away.

He felt guilty, but after the second date, there was a third. The Chesapeake Ripper did not add a third body to his pile, and Molly enjoyed a walk through the national park to witness the sunset over the Wolf Trap trees. He wondered if she'd looked him up yet. He wondered if Hannibal had looked her up yet. He wondered if it was really all that smart to try and enter into a relationship when your bait was set for a different kind of fish that bit harder and left marks.

By the fourth date, he finally had to say something. Molly made it easy to keep busy, from occasional phone calls to daily texts but now their dates had accumulated too quickly. Too many dates. People didn't go on dates like that unless they meant something by it.

"I'll call you," she said warmly, and they were parting at her car after a rousing round of bowling where she'd soundly beaten him. The neon lights of the bowling alley sign cast her in a cotton candy pink.

"Molly," he began, and she paused from leaning in to give him a soft, chaste kiss on the cheek. She'd done it the last three times, and he'd liked it enough he often touched fingers to the place hours later, puzzled over it. Hannibal had never done that to him. He had toyed with asking Alana for comparison. "I really enjoyed tonight."

Her smile remained, but her eyes belied whatever it was she was seeing on his face. "Why are you saying that like you didn't enjoy tonight?

"I...I don't know if I can take you on another date."

Her blue eyes were purple in the pink light. They blinked slowly, wide and doe-like in the neon. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't quite look at her, eyes off towards the dark spaces where the Chesapeake Ripper could always be lurking, watching. He wondered if he'd get another card on his kitchen table. "I..I like you."

"Okay," she said, suddenly uncertain.

"I've just got a lot of...baggage." He nodded. That was one way of putting it. "Things I don't want you to have to get involved in."

"We all have baggage, Will," Molly replied, and something in her tone made him look back to her, her eyes glassy and her mouth quirked into a half-smile that wasn't at all amused. "Life is about people making connections with other people and learning to deal with their tragic back-stories and baggage."

He wondered what baggage she was afraid of showing him, if it was a bad boyfriend or a bad case of body parts under the floorboards. "Mine could endanger your life," he said seriously; then had the misfortune of seeing the exact moment that she questioned his sanity, the moment she realized maybe she shouldn't want to go on another date with him.

How must that sound to a sane person, Hannibal would have said. These people with their mundane lives. You sound unhinged and delusional, Will.

"I...don't know what to say to that," she admitted, and her nose wrinkled. "It sounds like...a gimmick? Yeah, a gimmick." Her head bobbed, much like it had when the poor kid at JT's Bait Shop couldn't understand the concept of a two dollar bill. "If you don't want to continue dating, you can just say so. I won't get mad. I appreciate honesty, though."

"Did you look me up when you first met me?" he asked bluntly. Maybe a little too harsh? He managed to stare at the edge of her denim jacket, purposefully baggy and rumpled.

She paused for a long time, and he couldn't quite look to her face to see why. "...No. Did you look me up?"

"No," he replied quickly. "I respect people's privacy."

"Liar," Jared Freeman jeered behind her. "You don't respect Hannibal Lecter's privacy."

"I guess I was going to until I saw you make the look on your face that you're making right now," she said, and her voice softened. She pitied whatever it was she was seeing in him. Fear? Maybe. Maybe a bit of self-disgust. Maybe some resignation in the lines by his mouth. "Made me think maybe you didn't feel comfortable with the idea of it."

"Statistically speaking, that means you could have gone on a date with a rapist," he pointed out, although he couldn't say why. He didn't want to frighten her, for God's sake. Did he have to be so nervous? He'd survived a psychopath twice over, and yet the idea of seeing the look on her face made his knees weak?

"I have mace," she assured him. "And you didn't give me that impression. Kinda...more like you were running from something."

"Someone," he said, much softer. He sighed, something more resigned than angry. "It's okay to look me up, but I'd ask you reserve judgement until you also ask me whatever questions you have. I'll try and be as honest as I can...I promise I'm not what they thought I was."

"Okay, Will Graham," she said, and she swooped up and pressed a firm, warm kiss on his open mouth. He inhaled it, and his breath caught. "Like I said, I'll call you."

"Okay," he replied, much too late. She was already getting into her car and starting it, the darkness of the cab casting her in shadows.

He had assignments due, otherwise he would have puzzled over that kiss for most of the night. As it was, he passed his fingers over it and thought of how he'd once drunkenly kissed Alana Bloom so boldly, with nothing to lose and a mind melting from the fire. He felt charmed, but then again; he'd been charmed by Hannibal, too. He took photos of Winston walking through the tall grass that had burst from an early morning rain with a camera he'd snagged from the nearby Wal-Mart. Photography wasn't his thing, but he was going to try. If he could pass these, they'd allow him to enter a full-time status for the summer program.

Then, the second letter came.

My Dear Will Graham,

When I saw your release from prison, I thought: Dare I? Of course I do. I would not have risked corresponding with you while you were incarcerated, in case it was used against you. I who have looked up to your work, who has ascended from it on a level that I know you would understand.

That is what it is you do, is it not? Understand?

I believe we have much in common, you and I. They're calling you innocent now, but they will only do their best to find other ways of locking you up again. You can't have taken her lungs so clean and they not try to find means again of caging you.

I have something to show you. I think you'd appreciate it; maybe see what it is I aim to ascend to and Become. Until then, I remain your,

-Avid Fan

This one Will found laying propped against his screen door. It felt like pills souring in his stomach to read it, and he sat out on the porch steps for a long time, thinking. Just in front of him, he imagined Jared Freeman pacing back and forth, back and forth.

"Call someone," he suggested, and his gaze darted about. "Can't trust the cops, but that Crawford guy..."

"Don't call Molly Foster," Garrett Jacob Hobbs advised. Will agreed.

He needed to call her at some point to now definitely cut things off. If the Chesapeake Ripper was calling himself an Avid Fan now, that was one alias too many to make sure he'd be able to keep her safe, should Hannibal decide to lash out. Had he witnessed their kiss? Had he crept, lurking and careful in the bushes and witnessed that there was someone else in the world that thought Will capable of receiving affection?

Problem was, it didn't feel like the Chesapeake Ripper baiting him, all cruel words hidden behind kind veneers of pleasant professionalism. It felt different, foreign. Rather than mocking, biting, the way the Chesapeake Ripper surely would be after finally allowing Will to be released, the words felt...awed. The person that wrote this thought that Will circumvented the law. They thought he was a killer.

They wanted to show him something, too.

It took a long time for him to realize the tapping noise in the static of his thoughts was his fingers on the deck, but that didn't stop it. They tapped, his heart stuttered, and Will Graham wondered just who in the hell he was supposed to tell about this, or if he'd been crying wolf for so long that no one could bother to care.

Will took a walk and found himself sitting with Peter Bernadone, just outside of the barn where he nursed birds back to health and set them free when possible. He spoke lovingly of a parakeet that had an attachment to him, one whose wing wouldn't unfold quite right. It eased at the ragged bite of the morning to think of things once broken made new. Peter was kind, and he desperately needed to think on kind things.

"I'm glad you came," Peter said, and they shared root beers Will had picked up on the way. He wasn't sure what it was he was hoping to find, sitting there beside him. He couldn't burden someone like Peter with something so horrific as the things he knew, the way he often woke up feeling the ghosts creeping just down the hall from where he once slept.

Was this Hannibal? Or was this someone new? If it was Hannibal, just what did that mean for him? Just what did he want to show to Will, and what was Will going to do to stop it?

If it wasn't Hannibal, just how in the hell was he going to detangle himself from it before he woke up with another killer strangling him to death? God, he was getting tired of drowning on the blood of so many innocent.

"Thanks for making time to talk," Will replied, and they sat on the bales and watched the horses.

"A-are you okay?" Peter asked, and he peered over at Will gravely. "You look...awful sorrowful about somethin'." He was keener than he seemed. Being around animals, he saw the small expressions most didn't notice.

"Have you ever had a secret that you tried to share, but no one would believe you?" Will asked. "Something that was really important, but no one thought you were telling the truth?"

Peter stilled, and the finches in the cage at their feet entertained the air around them before he found the words he was looking for, jaw working furiously. "I...yeah, I know about that."

"You do?" Will asked, surprised.

"I b-been thinkin' about tellin' people the truth...maybe they believe me, maybe not, but I gotta say somethin'. You said something, I heard. You told the truth, even when no one believed you."

Will couldn't meet his gaze, embarrassed. Everyone knew who the infamous Will Graham was, even Peter. He couldn't go anywhere without someone knowing his fucking name.

"I feel like right now I have to keep it a secret to get what I want in the end," said Will, and he swung his legs, kicking the hay bale beneath them. He timed the swings with his heartbeat.

"What do you want in the end?"

"Justice." Kind of.

Peter nodded. "That's not so bad. You...should do what gets justice."

Will nodded resolutely. He still wasn't sure what to do about the letter. Not for the first time, the sound of Jack Crawford filled his mind, angry and haggard: What if wasn't Hannibal Lecter? What if the Chesapeake Ripper is someone they didn't know or understand in any capacity, and Will was taunting an innocent man as well as a killer?

"You should too," he said. He wasn't sure if he should ask what it was Peter felt that no one would believe. It felt private, grave. "I don't regret it. Maybe I'd have done it a little different, but I'd have still done it."

"Oh, I...I will." Peter's brow furrowed, and he looked down to the finches and cooed to them, gentle. "I think if...i-if we don't stand up for somethin', no one will."

The time between a morning shift and a mid-afternoon class was staggeringly short. Will managed a bag of dollar burgers from McDonalds, and he'd gotten two of them shoved down his throat before he was driven to a stop by the large crowd of people that buffeted the sidewalks beside the dorms.

"So fucking scary, oh my god..."

"--couldn't believe they got in there, how'd they--"

"You know they keep the back door open, sick fuck probably strolled right in..."

"I need to call my dad."

"Back up, back up!" This from a police officer that was busy sectioning off part of the walkway towards the dorms. "I understand that some of you live here, but you'll need to give us a minute, please."

"What's going on?" Will asked, only for the cop to brush by him with the police tape in hand. He didn't spare Will a second glance, and there was something ironic to it, that at eighteen he'd had more access to that sort of information than he does now.

"Someone got killed," a student next to him replied, eyes across the quad. "In the Tower Dorms."

"What?"

"Yeah," they said with a nod. There was a thumb print on their left glasses lens, likely adjusted during a particularly rousing round of note-taking. "Someone says the mirrors in the bathroom are broken, and it's bad."

Will first thought of Hannibal, and how maybe he'd pushed the Chesapeake Ripper a little too far. But then he thought of the letter in his pocket, how it hadn't sounded so much arrogant as it was admiring, and a strange cold seemed to settle into his feet and make it hard to walk away.

"Who did they kill?" he asked, hoarse.

"Dunno yet, but it was the first floor and..." they grimaced, their thin lips puzzling over whatever was on their mind. "She was naked," they finally added.

"FBI," Will observed, and he chewed on his bottom lip. If Jack Crawford was there, he was going to be most decidedly not.

"You think a serial killer?" a young woman asked the student next to him. "FBI doesn't just show up to a homicide."

"I think whatever it is, it's bad enough the FBI showed up," the kid next to him said, somber. "Guys probably just strolled in and said they'd take it from here."

And that felt like Will's queue to leave. He waited for the space behind him to shift just slightly, and he made a break for it, slipping along the side leading away from the crime scene. If it was a serial killer, it was Jack Crawford's department. If it was psychological, it was Jack Crawford's department.

If it had anything to do with the note in Will's pocket, it was Jack Crawford's department.

"Jason just texted and said it was the girl that was in the room next to his friend Hayley," a girl said, thumbs frantically working prose across the keyboard.

"Oh my god, she knew her?"

"What if he's not done?"

Will skirted around them and tucked his hands into his pockets, tense.

"We don't even know what he did. How could we know if he's done?"

He'd just rounded the corner to safety when he had the misfortune of walking right into the very man he was trying to avoid.

"Will," Jack greeted, falsely cheerful.

"Jack," Will said warily, taking a step back. He was half a breath away from running. Prey was flight, fight, or freeze, and Will wasn't going to fight a battle like this.

"Will! We were just talking about you," his photography teacher exclaimed. She was a pleasant, upbeat woman with a habit of gesturing wildly when caught up in the middle of her lectures. Her passion was photography of animals, as she'd confided in Will on the first day. Today, that was deflated in the wake of the ripple of rumor, the sudden sense that all was not well and good within the walls of learning. There were stress lines near her forehead and eyes.

"Why?" he asked, looking at Jack Crawford.

"Well--because--" she fumbled at that, and she looked to Jack beside her.

Jack had been waiting for his moment. "Because unfortunately, Will, you are a person of interest considering the nature of your own history."

Unfortunately, like Jack didn't love the opening this was going to give him to wheedle back into Will's life and make himself at home. One unpleasant house visit wasn't enough. The letter burned in his pocket. "Murders aren't common on campus until I show up," he said to his teacher.

"Now, really what we want is to establish a base of support," Ms. Newman explained quickly. Her eyes cut to Jack, then back. They were red despite her brave face. "You being here has nothing to do with what's just happened, but because of your past Agent Crawford wanted to make sure that you're in a safe place mentally and physically."

"Oh I'm as safe as he wants me to be," Will assured her.

Jack's eyes narrowed. Will hadn't specified which 'he'. "Will you come with me?"

Will did a congenial u-turn and waited expectantly. "Do I have a choice?"

"You always have a choice! Agent Crawford, really I must--"

"Ms. Newman, it looks like one of your students needs you," Jack redirected, and Will looked up at the sky that threatened to be a positively beautiful day.

"You've always had a choice," Jack said, after Ms. Newman was well enough on her way to support Will from a distance.

"Sure didn't feel that way, Agent Crawford," said Will, not unkind. Not quite kind, either. The sky was the sort of blue one could get lost in.

He was glad the crowd prevented any further discussion, and they worked their way to the now thoroughly strung-up police tape. Will got to enjoy being the spectacle of walking under the rope with an FBI agent after just talking about it with someone in the crowd, and there was a tight feeling in his chest that had nothing to do with the note in his pocket or the thought of Hannibal's next move.

"I thought you were done being his dog," Jared said, and he circled Jack as they walked across the dewy grass and cut dark swathes of ribbon towards the crime scene.

"It's not really the Chesapeake Ripper's style, but it is right on campus," Jack said. Will's chest constricted in response. "I don't know if you want to know about the victim, or--"

"I don't want to know about the victim," he said, voice tinny. "I don't even want to be here right now."

Something about that kept Jack from answering, and they walked into the maw of the dorm hall with trepidation and steps that echoed too loud on the marble tile.

The room is 213, and Will stared at it for a long time. It's a dorm room on the first floor, and it occurred to him after about first five seconds of staring that it's an odd number for a first floor. Not 113, 213. That stuck, even after the door opened. It hit the wall, and 213 seemed to hit a little harder, and he thought of the first time he'd ever felt someone's hands wrapped tight around his throat, squeezing.

"Will?"

Will blinked, and he followed Jack into the dorm room, sweat collecting on the back of his neck.

#LiaS scribbles #opus dei #hannibal fanfic #hannigram #slowburn hannigram #hannibal x will graham #revenge!fic #grey!will

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