#this is VERY personal but i made it like almost 2 years ago now which is insane and some of the list still hits but also
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a reflection on MatPat's plagiarism
Hello, my name is Della, or micer2012, and 2 years ago Game Theory plagiarized three Tumblr posts of mine, making a video that now holds almost 6 million views.
My posts explaining his plagiarism made their rounds on Reddit, Tumblr and Twitter, but despite the Hermits and Pooka commenting on it (generally in support of me or saying they don’t know enough details about the situation to say either way), MatPat and his team have never owned up to anything, and no mention of my name is present on the video. The one Reddit post they made denying it (which was made before my detailed takedown, which they have never responded to (though the mods on the r/GameTheorists Reddit were kind and made sure it stayed up)) didn’t even mention me by name, just referring to me as “a tumblr user”. (Though one of the screenshotted comments in the body of the post does say my name)
This experience was baffling, but it’s overall had a positive impact on my life. r/Hermitcraft gave me a Golden Apple Award (post of the year, 2021). My inbox was filled with excited fans, wanting to ask me questions or pose their own theories, far more than the hate I got. (Though the hate I got from Game Theory fans was VERY funny. I wondered why none of them gave me shit about saying “MatPat misgendered Evil Xisuma” before realizing none of them read that far into the post.)
And getting on a more personal, and much more important note, I met most of my current online friends through this, including my partner. It helped me grow closer with my irl friends as well and gave me an entertaining story that I tell whenever I have the chance. It was one of the first things in my life that really made me feel like my talents, my autistic hyperfocusing and analyzing of things I love, could be valuable. Useful. Exploitable. It blew my mind that MatPat thought an autistic kid’s ramblings about a Minecraft Youtube joke character were good enough to steal. To put an audible sponsorship on. To get 6 million views off of.
And that’s why I’m writing this post, this update years later. As you might’ve been able to guess, Hbomberguy’s Youtube video on plagiarism reopened this wound. It was really hard for me to sit through, it took days of pausing and taking breaks, because I had experienced everything he was talking about firsthand.
In my 10 page long takedown post, I wrote about how his rewording of my sentences made him say things that were incorrect, just like Filip did. The content farm production style that made big companies like Cinemassacre take one creator (AVGN/MatPat) and turn him and his content into a brand, a voice that reads out scripts by other people with other opinions/theories, is a history shared with Game Theory. What really hit me was Harris talking about how big creators only do this to people they think they can get away with doing it to. How they view their victims as lesser, as not deserving of their words, repackaging them as their own to give to an audience that can gain from hearing them, but deserves better than to have to listen to the original victim.
That’s the thing, I 100% think a video version of my theory to expose to a bigger community than “Evil Xisuma Fans on Tumblr” is a great idea!! Near the end of the video Harris talks about how video adaptations of things could be a great market, even an accessibility tool, and I completely feel that about my posts. I wrote them quickly assuming the reader was someone well versed on Evil Xisuma lore, after not even watching most of the CarnEvil series, and the diagrams I made to explain them are even less comprehensible. Harris makes a joke that I completely agree with,
“I’m sure some of my videos would do very well if someone translated them into English.”
I don’t think I would’ve ever made my posts if I didn’t have autism, and a special fixation on Evil Xisuma and Hermitcraft. I made them because I felt the character was being done an injustice, and because I wanted to share with other superfans this theory that might explain it away. I do think that MatPat plagiarizing me was ableist. I used to wonder a lot if this would’ve happened if my posts were articulated better, if they had been peer reviewed, if the posts themselves had been spread to a wider audience before MatPat made his video. At one point when the discourse was fresh (before I had the time to write out my 10 page rebuttal), a bigger YouTuber (100k subs at the time) messaged me and started talking on Discord, interested in possibly making a video on the discourse, but I think my style of typing and general enthusiasm drove him away. You can tell by a single look at my blog (or my original 3 posts!) that I don’t usually type like this. This post you’re reading now has been peer reviewed and edited, and took me hours to format correctly. That video could’ve been huge, the entire outcome of this MatPat situation would probably be much different.
I also used to stress a lot about “being the one who ruined Evil Xisuma’s story”. If you didn’t know, to me S8 Evil Xisuma’s story got wrapped up pretty quickly and unsatisfying (in my personal autistic opinion). (though this might’ve been due to s8 being experimental and ending early with moon big) There was no real culmination of the plot points and arcs going on, and I don’t want to blame myself, but when Xisuma said on stream (when the MatPat thing was first going on) that he didn’t want to focus on the discourse or draw more attention to it, it makes a lot of sense to me that he just wanted to wrap it all up as quickly as possible. For a while I beat myself up about it, of ruining the story of this character I love, but it’s not my fault. If anyone’s, it’s MatPats, but I don’t think it’s useful to just blame someone else. That’s how the story ended up going, and that’s fine. This is Evil Xisuma we’re talking about, their inconsistent lore is what made them such an interesting character. And notably, Pooka made an animation with an awesome culmination of Jeff, the Dreamer, Evil Xisuma, and his own sona’s story, and it makes me so happy to watch. Whatever Pooka does is of course his own choice, but I’m glad he got to give this personal story his own ending (if it is an ending, and not just the start of a new chapter!).
Typing this all out and getting it off my chest has made me feel a lot better. For a while I wanted to make my OWN video essay about Evil Xisuma’s lore and CarnEvil’s lore, actually going episode by episode to explain it instead of just assuming you knew as much about Evil Xisuma as I did. That idea is still not off the table, but MCYT isn’t something I’m that into right now. Maybe if something else comes out about Evil Xisuma I’ll get back on it, but for now I’m fine with letting that go. But I want to make other videos, share other theories and analysis… if I have the freetime I’d love to make YouTube videos, and if I don’t have the time I’ll continue posting to my tumblr and infodumping to my friends. Apparently my infodumping is valuable enough “content” to steal! Writing this out has made me feel a lot better though, I’m really glad I got it out.
If anyone ever wants to talk to me about the things I’m obsessed with, or reach out to me as a source in a bigger discussion about Game Theory or other channels, my inbox is more than welcome :] Thank you for reading!
Sincerely, a tumblr user.
#exiavojtmmc#hermitcraft#matpat#gt#game theory#hc#mcyt#evil xisuma#hbomberguy#plagiarism#james somerton#jeff the minion#mine#micer2012#hcs9
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Rabbit -- one of your cherished stuffed companions
Rabbit belongs to one of you dear people, and she gave me permission to share his story with you.:-) He was in the hospital about a year ago.
She initially wrote:
I live in South Florida and I am a big fan of your hospital! I have a stuffed rabbit plush animal, I believe he may have once been a Bugs Bunny plush, but to me he has always been "Rabbit" and I cannot find any leads online as to his "origins". Rabbit has been with me since I was 6 months old-- he's almost 24 years old! He's been my constant companion, and I still sleep with him and love him to this day. As you might imagine, this has led to many surgeries...
Lately, Rabbit has had very thin fabric fur, and you can see through to the stuffing (mostly on his tummy). He's also in need of some new stuffing, as his current has gotten pretty clumpy over the years. My mom and I have talked about possibly giving him a complete fur transplant on his tummy as we have applied patches before, but we aren't experts and don't want to cause him harm! He gets holes in his fabric very easily as he has become very delicate from love over the years... We are almost afraid to touch him with anything other than a hug!
Now there were many photos attached to this note, and just fyi, for diagnosis the more photos the better, but you all don't need quite so many close ups... here are three critical photos from his diagnosis:
You can really see in the last two photos how thin his fabric was getting.... but he has such a cute face, and it's mostly embroidered, and I thought they may want to keep that, so.... there were many (actually 7!) options for his care. Keep in mind, he's over 2 feet long, too. Here were the treatment options (a spa could be added to any):
1) Given his style of fabric, and his artistic belly patches, and the fact that he has embroidered facial features, we could line his body with new fabric. This reinforces his body and limbs while keeping his current appearance. He would get all new body stuffing as part of this treatment, as the stuffing would need to come out for lining and it can't go back in. But, a small amount of original stuffing would be preserved in a heart in his chest. With this treatment, he could still wear, but you would see lining before stuffing. Also, for future repairs, the lining could take the pressure of stitches away from his skin. I would also minimize the older scarring on his side.
2) I can do everything in option 1, plus line his head.
3) I can do everything in option 1, plus line his head and ears.
4) Instead of lining, we could recover just his belly and lower sides of limbs. His original skin (and old patches) would remain underneath, reinforcing the new fabric. I would get as close as possible to his current fabric color and texture. Perfect fabric matches are rarely possible, but if that is the case, I will send photos of him with transplant options so you can choose what you like best. I would also minimize his scars.
5) I can recover his entire torso and limbs (leaving his head and ears as is). I would also minimize his scars.
6) I can recover his belly and lower side of limbs around his patches (keeping his artistic appearance). I would also minimize his scars.
7) I can recover his belly around his patches and recover the rest of his body and limbs. I would also minimize his scars.
His person thought about it, discussed it with her family, and ultimately decided on option 5: recover his entire torso and limbs but leave his head and ears as is. They also added a spa for Rabbit, which would treat the lumpiness of his stuffing as well as clean him.
So Rabbit flew to the hospital and began treatment with his bubble bath:
He got restuffed before recovering, so here is his heart being made and installed with a bit of his original stuffing:
I started by recovering his gray areas, leaving the white of his pawpads and tail original. At this point, I sent chubbiness approval photos and let his person decide whether she still wanted to recover the white (which was in better shape than the gray):
His person wrote: "Wow, he looks amazing!! His chubbiness looks perfect, I can't wait to hold him! I would like to recover his white patches of fur"
So Rabbit got closed up, and the white got recovered, and then he was ready to fly home!
Approved, Rabbit flew home to Florida. When he arrived back cross country, his person wrote:
Rabbit is home!! Thank you so, so much!! He looks amazing, he's soooo soft and cuddly, I can't wait to spend many many more years with my darling angel rabbit! I cannot thank you enough Doctor, you're truly an angel!! I'm so blessed to have found you and your lovely hospital!! My mom and I can't stop gushing over how soft and cuddly Rabbit is, he's like brand new! I'll continue to treasure him for the rest of my life with your help!
#rabbit#stuffed rabbit#bugs bunny#stuffed animals#stuffed animal repair#stuffed animal cleaning#large stuffed animal#toy rabbit#toy rabbit repair#bunny#stuffed bunny#stuffed bunny repair
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Everyone on the team receives an anonymous hand made Valentine’s card, except for Hotch. He tries not to show his disappointment and quickly walks away into his office while the team try to guess who has made then. Later in the day, when the others have gone home, reader knocks at Hotch’s office door, saying something like that they wanted to give him his card personally because it’s even more special than the ones for the team. And it’s an invitation to dinner.
something good
happy valentine's day pt 2! 🥰 cw; a touch of angst, alcohol mention, fluff!!!!
aaron should've known.
he was viewed as the boss, and that was that. merely a position of authority; not necessarily a colleague, and not necessarily a friend.
and it's always been that way. groups quieted upon his approach, eye contact was scarce amidst conversations- as if meeting his gaze would give him reason to absolutely rip them to shreds. by now, enduring so for years, he'd gotten used to it. he had to. so why should he expect to be treated any differently?
however, he refused to lie to himself, he'd give himself that. he didn't try to fight the stinging sensation in his chest, which had been present all day. it hurt, hearing and seeing the team gushing over valentines that had been placed anonymously on their desks that morning. trying to use their profiling skills to determine who had done such; penelope nearly stirred up a frenzy, morgan's laugh had rang loudly through the bullpen, everyone had compared the kind messages left for them.
meanwhile, aaron's desk had been empty. and he simply observed the joyful scene from the safety of his office.
whoever was responsible- the thought would've been nice, at least.
valentine's day was just like any normal day, if it weren't for the cards strategically placed amongst the desks, aaron probably wouldn't have even recalled the holiday to begin with.
that, however, was the lie. he knew what day it was. february fourteenth had been special, years ago. but now, it instead brought an impending sense of dread, one that was impossible to ignore; the reminder of yet another day spent alone. his night, when he finally made it home, would more likely than not consist of a glass of whisky and maybe a few episodes of law and order before crashing.
"hotch? you have a second?"
your voice caused him to lift his head, pulling him from his sea of thoughts. "yes?"
"i- um. wanted to give you this."
aaron's eyes perked up instantly, and a touch of embarrassment quickly swept through him. he felt childish almost, at his eagerness; the want to be included.
"i'm sure you noticed, the valentines." with the pink slip in your hand, you used to to reference the bullpen. "penelope wasn't very subtle about it."
"i did." aaron commented, hoping the blush present in his cheeks wasn't too visible. one of his eyebrows quirked up in question. "and they were from you?"
you bit down on your bottom lip, but the action didn't quite stop your smile. "guilty."
"well, that was very thoughtful of you. it lifted everyone's spirits, that's for sure."
"yeah i thought... i don't know. every day we come in to heaps of files on our desk, and aren't exactly doing jumping jacks at the sight of them. so i thought it'd be nice to have something different, for once. something good."
aaron's lips almost pulled into a smile, recalling the earlier antics and his next inquiry caused your cheeks to flush. "and you sent yourself one?"
"hey, self love." you were quick to quip back, laughing softly but with a shake of your head. "i was trying to be discrete. if i were the only one to not receive a card, that'd be awfully suspicious and defeat the whole purpose, don't you think?"
'if i were the only one', aaron's chest warmed. you hadn't forgotten him, there had been one with his name on it all along.
"but..." you adjusted your weight from one foot to the other, suddenly exhibiting nervousness. aaron recognized your small movement, knowing it as one of your tells. that, and your habit of chewing the inside of your cheek. "yours, i wanted to hand deliver."
aaron couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. "you did?"
"it's special. like you." you rushed out in a breath, and if aaron's blush hadn't been present before- it definitely was now. you handed the valentine to him rather quickly, before you could chicken out. "and i wanted you to know it was from me."
silence fell over aaron, feeling absolutely touched. he didn't know what to say.
"happy valentine's day." you gave him another smile, still leaving him speechless, and heading out of his office.
before you had fully exited the room, aaron opened the valentine. his eyes skimmed over your loopy handwriting- and the feeling in his chest intensified. the contents included you thanking him, for looking out for you and the team as a whole. you had emphasized how safe he made you feel, and how you felt extremely lucky to have someone like him protecting you in midst of the horrors you saw daily. he gave you a comfort you never thought possible, and you couldn't picture receiving so from anyone else. the ending however, made his heart skip a beat.
and whenever you're free- dinner? you and me?
he's always been drawn to you, in more ways than another, but he had never acted upon them. he couldn't quite figure out how to approach you like that, and he regretted every chance he didn't take. but now, you've given him the perfect opportunity.
aaron, paperwork completely forgotten and disregarded, didn't hesitate to go after you. "wait!"
you met his gaze as he exited his office- you had just begun collecting your things to head home. everyone else had already gone.
"yes?" a smile tugged at your lips, heart fluttering.
"i'm free right now. if... you are?"
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds drabble#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction
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Hi Sam! You mentioned being in Texas. Did you get to see the total eclipse?
I did! That's actually why we were in Texas.
I have wanted to see a full solar eclipse since I was about 20, but I've never had the combination of time and means -- couldn't afford it, or couldn't get to where it was total, or couldn't take the time to get there. So two years ago I saw one was coming and said, "this time I'm making it happen." Two days later R called and said, "Do you want to meet up in Texas for the eclipse?"
Our plans had to shift over time, and I won't lie, that was stressful for all of us. I had originally planned to ask R and his wife to chip in half for the rental place, but decided to just cover it myself because they're either divorced or in the end stages of the legal divorce proceedings and R isn't making much money. I remember my mother being poor and trying to take us on nice trips, and I can afford it. Baby U didn't exist when we made these plans and he's traveling with her without a partner for the first time, which has caused wrinkles for all of us (he couldn't get a rental car because he waited too long, so he took a Lyft to Fuckall Nowhere, Texas, like a 2 hour drive, and now has to try and get one in FaNoTX to get to his next stop in San Antonio). The rental was a little more intense and uptight than we anticipated but the people seemed nice in person. I have had Some Stress.
And honestly, it was all worth it.
I don't think a full solar eclipse is life changing for everyone the way some people say, but I do agree that partial eclipse simply doesn't compare. They're too different as experiences. When totality hit and we could see it hit, everyone gasped and was silent for a second and the burst into noise -- cheers, swearing, exclamations. I almost started crying and then began laughing instead because next to me R said "OH MY GOSH" and U echoed softly "oh my gosh" even though she's too young to understand what's going on and was looking at her sippy cup, not the eclipse. We just stood there in awe. We were in a kind of shock for a few hours after.
I'd been dropping some "hot from a PBS documentary" eclipse facts on an older woman before the event, at the little lunch party our host threw, and she'd taken to calling us William Shatner (R) and Carl Sagan (me) and from behind me, halfway through totality, she said, "Carl Sagan, you didn't tell me it would be like THIS."
In future, I will do any travel with R very differently, but it was worth it to see him and the baby and experience that with them.
Also having coparented a toddler for the weekend, I am again glad I don't want and never had kids. She's a joy, but she's a very dribbly joy.
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Woven Home
Pairing : Platonic! Miguel O' Hara X Teen! Symbiote! Reader
Genre : fluff, lowkey crack
Summary : Miguel's soft for you. (Parenting is hard.)
Warnings: Mentions of blood, abuse, nothing too deep
Wordcount: 1.4k
Miguel O'Hara masterlist
" Oh no." Miguel breathes out. He glances around the room. It looks horrible, it was too late.
The room was covered in blood. The chipped wallpaper had always been disgusting, but now it had a reek of death over it. He can only imagine how it went down here.
" Uhm, actually. She's still alive." Layla suddenly glitches into existence.
Miguel's eyes widen under his mask as he turns to her.
" What?"
" Yeah, she made it out alive. " She tells him, showcasing a security video taken out on the street.
And indeed, you were alive. Barely, but still. The cameras follow you until you eventually pass out into an alleyway. But something is wrong. The date on that tape dates back 2 years ago. That cannot be possible- Or can it?
" Who are you?"
Miguel turns around, claws jumping out as he turns to face the voice.
He's surprised as he comes face to face with you. You're in terrible shape. Skinny, bags under your eyes and dirty.
You glance at his claws before shaking your head.
" Trust me, you don't want to do that."
He cocks his head. Anyone with the injuries you had when you escaped your abusive household would be dead. He doesn't want to take his chances with whatever saved you.
" I'm Spiderman-"
" No you're not. I know that dude. He lives a few streets from here." You scowl.
You don't seem intimidated in the slightest. Still seated with one knee up to your chest in the window sill, your posture slacking.
" I'm from a different dimension. I want to give you a chance." He tells you.
You cock your head.
" A different dimension? And a chance at what?"
" Yes. A chance at living. You wouldn't have to be alone anymore."
" I'm never alone."
-
To this day, he doesn't know how he managed to convince you to join the spider society. You're one of the very few non spider people around.
So far, years have passed. He's gotten to know you a lot better. Your name is Y/N L/N. And you're the host of Toxin. The strongest symbiote he's ever come across, and he's come across Carnage. ( Which is also apparently it's 'parent' symbiote.) It also led to him bringing you on the team.
You're a complicated person, having been through a lot at a young age. You had been severely abused by your own parents for a reason he doesn't know (or would ever understand.) Your healing journey was scary, but you had hardened from your experiences, putting up a barricade around people. Thankfully, it crumbled since Miguel now had your back. It made Miguel soft towards you. The society he was building was small when he found you, making you one of the first members. Determined to not give you the fate of a future villain (like almost all the other symbiotes), he's kept you closely tucked in his side. Over time, he found a new chance in being a dad through you. Your own parents never guided you, and he finds himself all too eager to give you that guidance. And so you've been with him, watching as the society grew. And growing it did. Miguel watched proudly as you managed to make friends, and eventually helped guide other younglings just like he guides you.
You're also the only one who doesn't take his shit. And who's able to handle it. (The object he threw the one time he wasn't looking at whoever entered his lab, you had thrown it back at him. It had silenced him. He'd never admit it, but he was proud of that. Glad you'll never cower for people like your biological dad ever again.)
The only downside? Your choice of friends. Hobie caused trouble, and was all too eager in teaching you how to aswell. Gwen was okay. But she was also friends with Hobie, and Miles. And Miles was originally an anomaly. Sure, the boy was now part of the team, but still. The only one he approved of was Pavitr. And the random Peters you hang with often.
Truth to be told, he saw you as his daughter.
Currently, he was stood in his lab, glancing around at the screens. He truly had no idea what you were doing, but as long as you weren't putting shit on fire (you wouldn't, Toxin hates fire,) he's fine with it.
" Aye Miguel!"
Speak of the devil. With a symbiote web, you launch yourself onto his platform, two styrofoam boxes in your hands. You wordlessly set his down on his desk, as you often do.
" Thanks. What have you been upto today?" He asks, barely taking his eyes of the screen as he opens the styrofoam box and takes out an empanada.
You open yours, and immediately the scent of chocolate fills the rooms. It's overly sweet, and it lowkey stings his nose.
" Not much. Mostly training actually. You did anything fun today?" You ask him in return, leaning back against his desk.
Apparently you've managed to find pancakes. And hazelnut chocolate spread.
" Been watching the multiverse, nothing special. Where'd you get that? " he asks you.
" Made it. We were craving something sweet."
" Empanadas are sweet."
" Right, well, not pancake, chocolate, strawberry sweet-"
" There's strawberries in there?" He asks, glancing at it.
You hum. Picking up a piece and showcasing it to him. He admittedly can see a bit of a lump in the chocolate, but that doesn't really convince him.
" Yeah, want a bite?"
" No thanks, I'll pass."
" Kay' your loss. So I've been thinking-"
" That's worrisome."
You roll your eyes at his comment.
" Sure, whatever. Anyway. We should get a pet. I was thinking a cat, or a spider-"
" No. We already have spider cat. Also, basically everyone here is a spider. Why would you even think of a spider?" He grumbles.
Nothing he ever has read in the parenting books could ever prepare for whenever you open your mouth.
As he speaks, he finally turns to look at you.
You shrug.
" It'd be funny. A tarantula maybe. We could call her Webs." You tell him.
You're not even grinning. You're serious about this.
" I'm still lost. Why a spider?"
" I just told you. It'd be funny. A spider as Spiderpeople HQ's lil mascot. There's also these adorable jumping spiders. They're cute. And small. And a spider."
He sighs, rubbing his face in his free hand before deciding to give up and continue to eat.
" No. No spider pet at Spider HQ. You can pet Spider-Cat whenever he's here. That's more than enough."
As if to save him from this hard parenting moment, ( He kinda wants to give into you, give you the world, but this was just a blatantly bad idea. Even by your standard.) A new anomaly pops up on his radar. And coincidentally, you just finished your food. ( You're always scarfing it down instead of eating it at a normal pace. Something that has to do with Toxin he believes.)
" What about a frog? Nah jumping spider's more fun-"
" No. No frog, no spider. Also, an anomaly just popped onto the radar. A Sandman variant. Earth-632. Have fun. Bring one of your buddies if you want, I'm here if you need back up." He tells you.
You hum, licking your fingers clean before wiping them on your pants.
" Can we eat them?" You ask as you start messing with your watch.
" No. No eating people."
" Was worth a try." He hears you mumble.
" No it really wasn't. " He tells you in return.
You roll your eyes.
" Whatever. Don't miss us too much!" You call before Toxin's form envelops you completely right as a gateway forms.
Soon enough you've jumped through, and Miguel finds himself opening up yet another screen to monitor your mission, seeing as you've gone alone.
A rare smile makes it once his face though. Yeah he's soft for you. And maybe he should look intk those jumping spiders. Just for the heck of it....
[ A/N: Am currently on Vacay so all my usual stuff is on hold for a bit. Also I've seen the requests and am working on them : ).]
#idkeitherman#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara fanfic#miguel o'hara x reader#x reader#spiderman across the spider verse#spider man 2099#miguel o'hara x teen reader#miguel o'hara x daughter reader#miguel o'hara fluff#miguel o' hara x you
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In my list of orphaned projects is a big damn essay on the fertility transition , which I never wrote. I had this in the docket for almost a decade, back when worrying about fertility rates was still a hot take. But alas the ship has sailed, everyone is talking about it now and has written it all out already, and I have mountains of projects, so I will just outline it quickly, sans graphs and footnotes. Maybe doing that will incentivize me to write up a full one someday, and it also gets my cohesive viewpoint out there.
The Future Is Exowombs & the Global Fertility Transition
The Trendline
The fertility transition has long roots - going back to 19th century France, originating in metropoles like Paris and culturally exporting itself to the countryside.
It seems broadly linked to material prosperity in ways that are load-bearing, one implies the other.
It is a 'sticky' cultural transition - once a country begins to move towards lowered TFR it never recovers outside of temporary blips.
It is not related to "western" cultural norms or specific contingencies of religion or ethnicity - those can matter at the margins, but rarely make a huge difference.
Starting in the 1990's, following sharp increases in A: global economic growth and B: global cultural diffusion/global monoculture, a trendline that used to be reserved for wealthy countries has rapidly accelerated, affecting countries at almost every income level. The fertility transition is now fully global.
The Cause
The primary driver of this phenomenon is the positive realization of desires - and by that I mean it is not something forced on people due to a lack in their lives.
It is not primarily caused by growing singleness; the number of people having any kids at all today is lower but overall pretty similar to the number of people who did a hundred years ago. It makes a marginal difference but not a huge one.
It is not linked to money, or housing prices, or other economic issues - fertility rates do not notably change with income levels or other price factors. At the margins, sure, but not at relevant ones.
It is not linked to specific technologies like contraception. People have understood how to prevent pregnancy for centuries - though like many things they do contribute at the margins. Additionally, you can’t uninvent them.
It is by a large majority linked to the death of large families. It was previously common for there to be families with 5 or more children, sometimes way more. 10+ children was not that rare in the past.
These families were disproportionately engaged in agricultural production; cities have always been fertility sinks.
In a world of manual household labor, rural living, low rights for women, low economic opportunities for women, and high death rates for children, these large families made sense. The 'opportunity cost' of the endless pregnancies & sicknesses was low (economically, not gonna handwave the immense personal toll)
All of these reasons have vanished. People want to have families, and love their children. But enduring multiple painful pregnancies, putting your career on hold, and spending huge chunks of your lifespan on child raising no longer tracks. The experience of having ~2 children is superior, along almost every metric, than the experience of having ~5 children for most people. This is what I mean by positive desires - the family structures of the past were built on misery and necessity, and will not return willingly.
The Problem
Many will point to the economic & social consequences of the Fertility Transition. They are very real, particularly at sub-1.0 fertility rates. If you are South Korea today, you have no plan for how your economy will truly support itself 50 years from now - you will vanish as a country in a few generations.
The focus on nearish-term crises also misses the opportunities lost - economic growth is premised on specialization, and specialization is premised on scale. A smaller world is a poorer world per capita, and a less innovative world, problems which have compounding effects. The difference in the long term is orders of magnitude.
But, far more importantly than any of that, is that we are nowhere close to the capacity of the earth to support humans. Supporting double or even triple the current population of the earth is trivial; a 10-fold increase would be quite easy, particularly once innovation is factored in. Being alive is a good of worth incomparable to anything else - the 'future' is literally defined by it. Time only meaningfully passes through the eye of one who can behold it.
The Failed Solutions
Money cannot buy lifespan or reclaim lost time - all attempts to throw money at the problem of fertility can help at the margins, but won't change the fundamentals. Some people want to have 2 kids, but can only afford 1. Or are prioritizing a career, but will work part time to have 3 kids. But the current policy crop of tax benefits or subsidized child care has not found a way to make someone truly want a larger family size, just mitigate gaps between desire and ability - and only barely.
Could radically larger amounts of money solve this problem? A professional career track in giving birth, 100k+ salaries for full-time mothers? I am open to the idea - but society isn't. The fiscal transfers needed are too radical for the current political environment, no one is proposing this.
Immigration was frequently proposed as a stop-gap, but its a 90's idea, premised on the idea that the Fertility Transition was a western problem that other countries did not face. It is not and never was; as every country's fertility declines, immigration becomes a zero-sum solution.
Turning back the clock on cultural change is A: impossible, the material logic of modern industrial production broke the need for it, and culture is downstream of material constraints. And B: its barbaric - if your answer to humanity's obstacles to greater flourishing is to condemn half of it to misery, we are better off dead.
So population levels will either stagnate or decline - unless something intervenes.
The "Future" Aka Getting Rationalist On Main
Exowombs, aka artificial wombs, allow you to grow a human child outside of the need for a person to incubate it. The baby (hah) step they let you do is strongly lower the cost of having a child; this is time & health given back to a mother, it will make having larger families easier.
But that won't fundamentally, shift the reality - that most people only want 1-2 kids, they don't want to raise more than that. However, with exowombs, you don't need to; you can make children outside of a family's desire for one. You can do that pretty trivially, actually. A society, if committed to solving its fertility issues, could mass-produce people with exowombs. Which would be very good to do ethically, because living is good and I personally don't think kids at orphanages should be euthanized to end their suffering, they are fine.
If some society, somewhere, did this, they would rule the world in a few generations. No one else is solving this problem, and meanwhile the human capacity to live on Earth is being woefully underutilized. Before natural human growth would solve this eventually - now it seems that will never happen, so anyone who actively tackles the problem wins. They literally win the future, by being the future.
Now, no one is going to do this soon - proposing this idea is not my point. Exowomb research is harshly regulated or illegal everywhere, modern society hates the idea of this kind of experimentation. We are, in so many ways, allergic to the idea of solving this problem. It doesn't even have to be exowombs, maybe we do the salaried mothers idea. My point is just the illustration - the future where there is 100 billion people dwarfs any current trendline future. That hypothetical dominates the worldline space, because arriving there organically seems to have faded away. The fact that we are not going to take that future, that it is probably gone now, is really, really sad.
But of course there is the other solution, the reactionary specter - instead of the technological solution, we choose the social one, of cultural regression and expanded reproductive control. I am not so worried about this, personally? Because I think it would unsustainable and result in a lot of bleed to liberal societies. It should not be taken lightly though - in a world where everyone has 1.0 fertility, and the social and economic consequences are becoming dire, I wouldn’t discount the willingness for radical solutions. I myself prefer the technologist side. But I think odds are we don't get either, just the long decline.
TL;DR - don’t let the Mormons win. Build exowomb factories.
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Lupin Week 2024 Day 4: AUs and Mythology
Goemon's face looks like he's seen a ghost.
ahhhh god ok my stupid stupid silly au i made a year ago.... this will be a bit long so get ready
tldr: lupin died, the gang is alive. goemon finds lupin but he's a shark merman!? and lupin remembers nothing!!!
long version:
so this AU follows upon the story of shin lupin, which basically, the gang gets killed off by zenigata because he rigged an island full of explosives.
instead of them all dying however, lupin decides to knock the gang unconscious and find a way for them to escape off the island safely, leaving only him in the island to die.
the rest of the gang had no idea how they escaped and assumed that lupin had sacrificed himself for them. they woke up adrifted on the ocean until they eventually got picked up by a ship where the invisible captain from new adventures returns. but ah ill spare the details for another day
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2 years have passed and the gang just kinda separated to do their own thing. we'll only focus on goemon cuz he's the featured character of this comic.
goemon decided to escape the life of crime that has burdened him for years living as a part of the lupgang. he's mostly a wanderer now and tries to do good and help people along the way
funnily enough, goemon is not the first person to find lupin, but I'll talk about this later. but goemon is definitely very mixed about seeing his friend who he thought was dead for years. he doesn't know whether to be happy or worried.
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lupin, at the brink of death after the explosion, plummets down the ocean and wakes up one day, feeling like he's been rebirthed!
essentially, lupin became a merman because right before he could die, his body (i mean what's left of it 💀) interacted with a magic crystal that has the ability to grant life to a living being.
It's really rare, but it exists in clusters deep in the ocean floor or- deep under the rocks of an island :) you can say im bullshitting, which i am but i dont think exploding an entire island down to every rock has happened before, so it can kinda make sense why something so coincidental about these crystals could happen. (I AM TOTALLY MAKING EXCUSES I JUST WANTED TO MAKE LUPIN A MERMAN.)
and so these crystals used whats left of lupins body and reassembled him back, and idk other essences of the ocean to make him a merman!
the memories of his past life have definitely been buried deep inside his brain to the point he can't remember any of it though, so he thinks that he was born under the ocean and has lived there for his entire life. other than that he retains almost everything about himself, down to stealing stupid shit and messing with humans just for the fucks of it. he's kinda seen as like a nessie.
---
anyways, y'know how i said goemon wasn't the first one to meet lupin? that's because lupin has met zenigata before!
living a life with only fishes around means lupin's kinda lonely and likes to stalk humans sometimes. the interaction with him and zenigata did not end well though, and lupin has no idea why zeni wants him dead so much.
after that he's way more cautious around people that look like zenigata- hatted big men with guns. its gonna be fun once he sees jigen.
ok what else... i think that's all i want to reveal now. will i do more of this? maybe. maybe not. kinda embarrassed of this because of how silly it is but i hope you people find this interesting! byebye
#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin iii manga#goemon ishikawa xiii#peaterookie art#shin lupin iii#lupinweek2024#lupin au#merman#merman lupin
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About Powder Blue
This is going to be long. There are going to be discussions of suicide and trauma. This is going to be a bit of a jumbled mess because I can't tell a linear story to save my life. Don't feel like you need to read this, now or ever.
If you're wondering what the issues with PB were, and looking for what's next, read the indented text and skip the rest if you want!
I've had a bit of a...tumultuous relationship with the OFMD fandom. I've made close friends and lost them, made even closer friends who've very patiently reminded me of my worth when I needed that. I'm at a point where I'm still struggling, but I'm getting better. I'm still working on not being afraid. It's a bit of an uphill battle, but I'm still pushing my little boulder. I'm not alone this time, which is nice.
I entered the fandom as a nobody. I had almost 50 fics on AO3 and two had mildly popped off while I wasn't looking, but I wasn't really known for anything. I was a fandom ghost, posting my little fanfics and sharing them with the world because I just enjoyed the characters so much. Like a lot of people, I dreamed of being known for something. I thought that'd be neat.
I'm still in a state of shock and confusion that I've written anything in the past 2 years that people remember and even love. It's weird to be in a place where I never imagined myself to be. I can't stress enough how much I did not write explicit fic before this fandom; in high school, I would've welcomed a porn ban. I was afraid of my own sexuality, convinced it was some sort of monster I had to control. Convinced I was dirty. To other people my age, I was a prude, naive and childish for not being comfortable with it. So I feel for people who lash out now, who insist that attraction is actually fetishization, that if we set enough rules, maybe if we resist temptation, we'll be saved. I see you, and I feel for you. I personally don't think that's a healthy way to live, but if you'd told me that 2 years ago, I would've cussed you out. It's really a realization you have to come to (or not) on your own terms.
Anyway.
I know it's tacky to talk about your own success but it doesn't feel real. I go back and forth, reading other people's work -- and my god, there's some unbelievable talent in this fandom -- and thinking "shit, why would anyone read anything I've written? My stories are kindergarten finger paintings next to museum masterpieces". I am learning, slowly -- very slowly -- that I can't bully myself into a shape I like better. I'll never abuse myself into the kind of writer I think I want to be.
The first chapter of Powder Blue was written on a random day of the week after work. I was in a server -- the first fandom server I'd properly joined and talked in, watching a convo about how funnyt it would be for Ed to be a middle aged sugar baby -- when I pulled out my laptop and wrote for an hour and then posted that chapter to the server. I hadn't written for five years before OFMD. I had never finished a multi chapter fic. I posted that chapter and went to make dinner, and assumed the Google Docs link would get lost in that channel after a few likes.
That's not what happened.
The next few months were...a lot. My 7 year old Twitter account blew up from about 200 followers to 1000 in a matter of months. I was misinterpreted half a dozen times. Suddenly, people knew who I was and had Opinions. Some of those Opinions were Not Nice. I was told to grow a thick skin and get over it. So I figured my extreme reactions -- physical shaking, intense fear, a spiking heart rate, like I was being chased -- were just me being weak. I thought if I just sucked it up and laughed it off, it'd stop affecting me.
Turns out RSD is real and not an excuse I was using to be a baby, and it literally didn't get better until I was medicated! Wild
(This -- "I'm just overreacting and everyone else is secretly handling it better" -- has been a pretty consistent pattern my entire life, so figuring out I'm actually AuDHD has been mindblowing. If you've been wondering why you're so weak your whole life, I've got some screening tests you might be interested in).
Anyway my point is, a few things happened over the course of 2023 that brought me to a level of emotional pain I've never experienced.
At the start of the year, I was taking a self imposed internet break, after being forced to apologize for a tweet thread about Izzy, where I'd made the mistake of suggesting that fans of his should consider thinking about why they enjoy his character, but to only do this if they wanted to and ignore me if they didn't. This was taken as me being a hypocrite, and accusing Izzy fans of being terrible people. I apologized, vowed to never mention him again, and left Twitter for a month. Around the same time, a few things in a very close friend group went very wrong. I assumed it was entirely my fault for misbehaving, picked myself up, and tried to punish myself into a shape that would be acceptable for other people.
It didn't work.
Since I was now marked as an anti-Izzy bully, I couldn't say anything -- either on Twitter or in private -- that wouldn't be interpreted as me trying to start fights, as me being passive aggressive, as me trying to send covert messages for others to decipher so they could come and grovel for my forgiveness. Some of this is my fault -- it took a long time to learn than my private locked Twitter account isn't a diary. it took even longer for me to learn that maybe the people I was hanging out with weren't my people.
During all of this, I was posting Powder Blue after months of tears, pain, heartbreak, frustration and stress. I still don't understand why people write books for work or FUN. It was the most horrific experience of my life. It was valuable and so rewarding but jesus christ did writing PB take a lot out of me.
So as I felt less connected to my friends, as I was trying to hide how I felt because I thought I didn't deserve to be upset about anything (everything is always my fault, you see, and if I just behaved better, these things wouldn't happen to me), someone came to me and said they'd noticed some issues with Powder Blue. I'll refer to this person as the reader.
I was more than happy to hear them out. And it's true that I made some mistakes. The environment that I published PB in was not the one that I wrote it in. I didn't read any other sugar daddy/sex work fics as I was working on PB. PB was never a reaction to those fics. But because of those stories, which had handled things is harmful ways, there was suddenly a responsibility I'd never expected to have. I've never done sex work, I've just spent a lot of time listening to sex workers and trying to understand the legislation and environment as much as I can as a lay person. And since I don't have a personal experience with sex work, I shared my finished but rough draft with the reader, who did.
The problem, ultimately, is not something I could ever have fixed to their satisfaction. The fic doesn't involve dubious consent on a level that I think warrants an archive warning tag -- I tried to make it explicitly clear that Ed never does anything he doesn't want to, and that he's never coerced. The issue is that the nature of Ed and Stede's relationship is inherently uneven -- Stede is rich, and although he gives Ed money that's his to keep, Ed still isn't as obscenely wealthy as Stede is. Ed is poor and has been for a while. He's good at whatever he chooses to do, but he's struggling. That's a very uncomfortable spot to put Ed in.
I also put Ed through some things that I've personally been through, as a way to work through my feelings and to try and better understand myself. If I was acting like Ed in real life, the reader is right that it would be concerning. But, importantly, Ed's not real. Nothing in this story is happening to a real person. Nothing in this story is an endorsement of any of his behaviours or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I still believe the reader had good intentions -- the amount of effort they put into coming to me would be utterly bizarre for someone who was just looking to be cruel for no reason. But that also doesn't change the fact that being told I was having a trauma response and needed to stop working on the fic immediately, pushed me into the most suicidal period I've ever experienced.
That's not their fault. I'm sure that wasn't their intention. I've chosen to not try and find out who they are, or try to contact them again to respect their privacy. Some of the things people said to me, publicly dismissing the reader's pain, were so harrowing to read that it made me feel worse for ever writing PB in the first place. They were right to stay anonymous.
I'm sure the reader never meant for me to have such a massive breakdown that I took down the entire fic and left Twitter (and a few friend groups). It's been difficult to understand that just because someone didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't change the fact that I was hurt.
One silver lining is that I did go and find a new therapist. She's great! And she also thinks that how the reader tried to bring things up to me was wrong. As the reader obviously saw, I have a lot of Trauma, so I'm still not entirely convinced that I didn't deserve what happened to me. I'm not angry at them. I appreciate their concern. I just can't do what they asked of me. In the end, Powder Blue was not a story that was right for them. And that's okay.
My point in detailing all of this, is that I stayed quiet for a long time because I didn't think I deserved to tell my part of the story. I was scared that when people said they respected my choice to take down the fic, that they agreed I'd some something impossibly harmful. People trusted my judgement but I didn't trust myself. But people didn't know that I didn't trust myself.
Additionally, reader can't speak on this without revealing themself in some way. I'm terrified that they might read this and say something anyway. My biggest fear is becoming the kind of writer who sees negative criticism and pushes on anyway, or even blocks people who disagree with me. I don't want to hurt anyone the way I've been hurt.
BUT I've been holding onto this for months. I cannot write a perfect fic that will never trigger anyone. I will never write a meaningful story that won't hurt someone, no matter my intentions. There IS a way to admit you fucked up, or a way to listen and disagree, without turning into a raging asshole. I'm struggling to find that line. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice here.
And honestly, I'm just soft. I am so fucking soft. I talk a big game but I am so soft that a single person poking at my trauma caused me to break down so severely that my partner was legitimately afraid for me. I am learning that this softness doesn't mean I should become a crueler person to cope. But it's hard. There are going to be people who see this post and think I'm being a whiny crybaby looking for attention and pity. And I just have to deal with that.
Anyway. All previous chapters of PB will be up soon. Read them or don't. I will do my best to add more detailed trigger warnings. And I would personally suggest that if you're worried about any of the content in the fic, to run these worries past a friend who's read the fic, because they'll know you better than I ever will. Please don't read Powder Blue if you think it'll harm you. I would rather have fewer readers than triggered ones.
If there's anything I've missed that you think I need to address, know that my inbox is open, that anon is on, and that I'm not in the business of retaliating against people who come to me with an issue, even if they're a dick to me while they're doing it. I'm not going to dismiss someone because they weren't nice to me while they were upset. I'm a bitch but I'm not that kind of bitch.
So. Thank you for waiting for this fic. Thank you for waiting for me. We've got something like 16 chapters to go, and I can't tell you when they'll be up, or if they'll be up soon. But thank you for loving this story. I can't tell you how much that means to me, especially now.
Love,
Scarr
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New Blood (Chapter 2)
This is the second half of New Blood. If you haven't already, please read the first part here:
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--Braden POV--
It’s been two weeks since Jacob changed into a jock. I almost didn’t recognize him at first. He seemed pretty chill when I saw him first, but now he acted like a spitting image of Zach and even started to look the part too. I even heard rumors that they started dating, which was a surprise to me because Zach always came off as straight to me.
It was just like what happened with Bradley. They would start hanging out more and more with Zach, and then the next time you see them, they become freakishly huge and start playing football. I’ve seen it happen twice, but I am certain it has happened before. It wasn’t the first time I saw someone in my class walk in looking like they took steroids overnight, but it was uncommon enough for it to not be a noticeable problem.
Even worse, I know he’s still at it. I’ve seen Zach and “Jake” talking to a guy I know in my class, Charlie. If I had to guess, he’s their next victim, but knowing him, I’m sure he’d be begging to join them. He’s openly gay and he’s always thirsted over the guys on the football team, even preferring my brother “Brad” over me. Zach probably has him wrapped around his finger at this point. Honestly, I felt bad for him for being that desperate. I knew it would be impossible to convince someone that down bad.
One thing became clear to me after the past several months. Zach was obviously getting closer to people in order to convince them to join the football team and become jocks like him. I’ve seen it happen multiple times, and at this point, he’s gone too far. I could try to tell the school about what he has been doing, but without definitive proof, I would just look crazy. The school obviously wouldn’t care anyways because they would benefit from a better football team to put their school’s name on the board.
As far as I know, no one in the school really seems to notice or care about people changing before their very eyes. They are completely oblivious. They don’t even care that they could be the one chosen to be targeted next. I’m basically all on my own here. This has to have been happening for almost a year at this point and I have to do something. I have to stop Zach and the rest of the team from turning these students into meathead jocks.
I began to investigate Zach and the rest of the football team. I went down the roster and made a list of every person who I definitely knew had been turned into a jock. There were a few more than I had expected to be honest. About thirty percent, I believe. These people had all gone through the drastic changes involved with joining the team, including the increased body growth.
There was one person who I specifically wanted to find information on, Zach. I decided to browse his Instagram to find even a hint of any tangible evidence that I could use against him. He had a lot of photos, with most of the recent ones being him showing off his body or partying. I wouldn’t expect much else from a douchebag like him. Although my investigation did not bear much fruit, I did find something interesting. As I scrolled through his old photos, I saw a boy both similar, yet entirely different to the cocky, muscular quarterback I knew. Was he one of the ones that was changed too?
The photo, about two years ago, showed an entirely different Zach. He was certainly still tall for his age, and definitely still taller than I am now. He was more on the skinnier side, however, and his face had softer, more boyish features compared to his more chiseled self. He had a longer hairstyle which contrasted with the short style he was rocking now. He still had the same verdant green eyes, although they had a more innocent look compared to the confidence his current self was full of. If you had shown me this picture without any of the information I know, I would’ve thought this was his cute little brother.
The more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder. How did he do it? Him being one of the earlier guys to transform combined with him being the quarterback and the team captain led me to believe that he had to be one of the first, perhaps being the prototype.
I saw another photo of the old Zach from three years ago. It was him with two older men at a football game, each one of them adorning a jersey to match with the others in the crowded stadium. The man next to Zach bore enough similarities with him that I assumed that he was his father, but the other man’s identity was still a mystery. The face looked familiar however, but I figured it was just a coincidence. Maybe he was an uncle or an old family friend? Either way, I came to the conclusion that Zach was likely always into football even at a young age. I wouldn’t find it surprising that he would want to play football, but anyone with eyes could see that it would be impossible to achieve that kind of body in just two years even with nonstop training and a strict diet. I considered the possibility that steroids could have been involved, but how would he be able to even get his hands on them, let alone supply them to that many people?
I then tried to broaden my perspective a bit, and an interesting theory entered my mind. The football coach would obviously know of the changes, right? He couldn’t just turn a blind eye after some guys just randomly became jocks and wanted to join the team, right? In fact, he would have much to gain by turning his players into the ideal version of a high school football player. Stronger players mean more wins. More wins mean more success for the team and for the school. No wonder why the school doesn’t care. They are directly benefiting from this!
So I decided that I would dig deeper on the coach. Unsurprisingly, he was a former football player and coach, but decided to move to this town about three to four years ago. At the college he went to, he majored in psychology. I found the pair between football and psychology to be a strange fit, with very little overlap. But then I started to think. He obviously knows a lot about the human mind. Maybe that’s why the guys on the team like Bradley and Jacob came out acting like entirely different people. He had to have done something to them subconsciously, perhaps some form of hypnosis or brainwashing. Bradley would often mention things that obviously never happened, so I am sure his memories were tampered with. I would know. I’ve known him my entire life and he never cared about sports before now. Just as I had figured out a hypothesis on how they might have changed mentally, I still didn’t know how their bodies might have changed. I defaulted to my original idea, steroids, but I didn’t know how a high school coach would get steroids for his players. Surely he’s smart enough to want to avoid that scandal.
I remembered the coach’s face. I’ve definitely seen it before at least once at school, but it was also the other man in the photo with Zach! So it seems that the coach knew Zach before he became a jock. I’m guessing he and his father were close? If I’m on the right track, Zach could have been his guinea pig for his experiments, since he would have to be one of the first guys to undergo the jock transformation.
I wrote all of the important evidence I had into a document, but then I heard the front door open. Shit, Brad, no, Bradley came home early from football practice! I quickly saved the document onto my flash drive, and hid it in my pocket. We shared the same computer, so I couldn’t risk him finding it, even though he would probably just look up sports statistics or porn instead. Bradley was seemingly unaware by the time he entered our shared room.
“Hey bro,” Bradley said. “Doing homework already? You’re a much harder worker than me, bro.” The old Bradley would never say bro. And he was arguably a better student than me.
“Yeah,” I responded, sarcastically. I was honestly getting tired of him after all that has been going on. “Not that you would know anything about studying, you dumb brute.” I grabbed my things and left for the living room, not wanting to be anywhere near my changed brother, nor near his sweaty, unwashed clothes that he left on the floor.
“What’s wrong bro?” Bradley followed me, his large feet stomping on the floor with every step. “You not feeling alright? I’m going on a run in a little bit if you want to come with. It’ll help clear your head.” I was fuming at his ignorance. It was at this moment that I burst.
“You are what’s wrong ‘bro’! Ever since you started hanging out with Zach and joined the football team, you’ve been completely unrecognizable! You’re just another jock now!”
“So what? I like being on the team and I like hanging out with the guys.”
“Is that really you in there or is that Zach or Coach doing the talking for you? You were never like this before you met them. I know that they changed you!” I realized I may have said too much.
“I guess they did rub off on me a little, but I did this for me, bro,” I rolled my eyes at the idea that anyone would willingly agree to be transformed into a jock. “I know you and I have grown apart these past couple months, but I just want us to get along again like we used to, bro. No matter what.” He reached out for a hug, but I pushed him away. The man in front of me was not my brother. Besides, he’d probably break a bone or two.
“You are not my ‘bro’! If you want us to be brothers again, you can start by quitting the team. You’re never gonna get anywhere in life by throwing footballs and getting concussions.”
“You’ll never understand, little bro.” Bradley seemed disappointed, and left through the front door, likely going on another one of his runs. I felt a wave of anger and shame rush over me, not just at my foolish brother, but at myself for being unable to connect with him. The rest of the night went by as usual, only we were even more cold towards each other than we were earlier. Dinner was incredibly awkward, with our tension hanging over the dinner table. We avoided eye contact and didn’t even say a word to each other the whole night. As I tried to fall asleep, I knew that we couldn’t keep living like this. Something needed to change.
--Jake POV--
I woke up to the sound of an alarm in Zach’s warm embrace, his toned arms barely wrapped around my new, larger body. His thick legs tangled in between mine like a knot and his 9-inch serpent in his jockstrap pressed against my back. I had slept the night at his place again, but it was pretty common these days now that we were officially a couple. We saw each other almost every day, whether it was at school, practice, the gym, or watching football together on Sunday. The other bros grew a little jealous of us, but it’s a little hard not to be.
I thought about what happened the other day. Memories of the lessons prior were drowned out by the practice, and by me and Zach recruiting the newbie to the team. You see, Zach was not only the team captain and our star quarterback. He was also responsible for recruiting new members to the team and getting people interested in football, and he asked me to help him out, which I obviously agreed to.
Obviously I now know how the recruitment process actually works, seeing as he had done it to me weeks ago, but it is different watching it compared to seeing it happen to yourself. Unlike me, the new recruit took less time and was very eager to join the team. Charlie was a nerdy kid, and gay too, but he had a slight interest in football, but mainly for the hot guys who played it. I empathized with him, seeing as I was lusting over Zach just weeks ago. Naturally, me and Zach helped him realize that he could be one of those hot football jocks who he jerked off to, while also allowing him to appreciate the art of the game on more than a surface level. I watched Charlie transform and he was already in love with his new body and jock persona. He’s now one of the guys he’s thirsted for, and maybe if he’s lucky, he can get to suck off one of the bros. I don’t think any of them are gay, though, but if little bro tries to make a move on Zach though, I’ll beat the shit out of him. Maybe I’ll try to hook him up with another new gay recruit.
I heard a buzzing sound from the nightstand in front of me. I grabbed my phone, which lit up in the dark room. My new lock screen was a picture of me and Zach, our arms over each other’s shoulders, in our football uniforms after a hard-fought victory. Brad had messaged the group chat and it seemed like he had something important to share.
“hey bros my little bro braden is mad at me for joining the team and i think he knos about wat teh team is doin hes obv mizrabl and i want us to get along agan think zach and coach can turn him into a jock liek me?”
I remembered Braden and how antagonistic he acted towards me and the other members of the team. I still haven’t forgiven him for being so judgmental towards us. We just wanted to play football and be bros together. What was wrong with that? Judging from what Brad said, it is clear that he’s already gathering evidence on us just like he had said, as he knows about not just Zach, but Coach too. If the secrets of our program leaks, it could be very bad news. Because he was an enemy to the team, he was an enemy to me. However, I felt like I could forgive him if he joined us. Plus, I wanted him to see firsthand why we loved this lifestyle so much. I responded in the group chat.
“yea we shud do it b4 he trys telling any1 he knows about zach alredy and he knows i changed and tryd to warn me lets talk after practice”
Zach started to rise from his slumber, realizing that he had slept past his alarm and he gave me a kiss on the lips. I informed him of the situation with Braden and he agreed that this was probably the best option. I didn’t care if he would try to resist us, but he needed to know that we were not to be fucked with. Zach went downstairs to make breakfast for the two of us while I got ready for school.
I changed into one of Zach’s T-shirts that he let me wear and a pair of basketball shorts, and then I put on my hat, adorned with the team’s logo, and twisted the brim backward. Damn, I looked good. I got turned on by the man staring back at me in the mirror, with his toned body and cocky smirk that showed everyone that he was on top of the world. I could tell that my transformation was corrupting me, but in the best way possible. I loved it. This was everything I ever wanted.
On my plate were eggs, bacon, and peanut butter toast. Zach didn’t take his studies too seriously but at least he knew how to cook a good, protein-rich meal. It was a feast fit for muscular kings like ourselves. I chugged the protein shake that he made for me, rich with a chocolate flavor, before we got into my car and drove to school.
We arrived at school, sat through a bunch of boring lectures, and as soon as that was over, we went straight to practice. Earlier in the day, I bumped into Braden to show him who he was up against. He just glared back at me. It was an odd feeling knowing the power I had over others, but the idea of being stronger and better than everyone made me hard. While we waited for Coach to arrive, we discussed what to do about Braden. Charlie said that he had final period with him and that he looked at him funny. I found the coincidence that Charlie shared a class with him to be quite hilarious, and I imagined the irony of the situation to drive him insane. Brad said that his mom was going out of town for the week to visit family and his dad worked late hours, so he would have no one to pick him up.
With that information, I devised a plan. Since Brad would probably have to pick up Braden from school, we could use this opportunity in our favor and get him alone with us. Since we have practice tomorrow, he will have to stay until after we are finished, so as long as we can keep track of him, we should be able to take him to the locker room in order to be transformed. With the plan ready to go, we started practice. After that, me and Zach went to the gym and my biceps were swollen after a hard workout. I definitely reached a new high today, and I felt great. Zach decided to spend the night at my place as we tried to iron out any potential flaws in our plan. Zach seemed proud that I was taking an active role in the team.
“Hey bro, you’re doing a great job helping me to keep this team going. Whether it’s winning games, or helping out during practice, or giving new recruits the sweet taste of what it’s like to be a jock, you’re really awesome. When I first met you, I never imagined you would make this great of a jock.”
I blushed. No one had ever praised me that much. “What can I say bro? I learned from the best,” I responded as I kissed him. He wrapped his arms and body around me and spooned me like the night before. As I drifted to sleep, I reflected on Zach and the other guys on the team. They brought out the best in me. I fought for my life for them on the field just as they did for me. Off the field, they were like the brothers I never had. But Zach was the only person I felt truly understood me on a personal level. He made me who I am and he showed me how to make other guys as great as we are. And I eagerly awaited tomorrow when we would have yet another new recruit.
--Braden POV--
Looks like the jocks are at it again. Charlie was officially turned into yet another musclehead jock. We were kinda close, since we talked a bit during class, and I genuinely did get along with him despite his preference for jocks. To be honest, I thought he was kinda cute, but all he would talk about is how hot the football guys were which was a turn-off to me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he gave in to them. I’m sure he’ll have a great time taking dick in the locker room like he always dreamed of.
It was at this point that I finally developed a plan to put an end to the football team’s schemes. I learned the other day that my mom was going to visit family for the week, so I would be alone with “Brad” until my dad got home. Normally this would be a nightmare for me, since I’d have to stay at school until after his practice since he would be responsible for driving me home. I decided that while he and the other jocks were at practice, I would sneak into the locker room in order to find any evidence that these guys were turning into jocks. The more the better, but even just one piece of evidence would surely be enough to raise some suspicion against them. If I find any incriminating evidence, I’ll report it straight to the school and the police. It’s all up to me at this point.
After class, I went to the library to get some peace and quiet and to get a headstart on some homework before commencing with my operation. I found it hard to concentrate because I was so on edge. I figured I wouldn’t have any problems since practice was still over an hour long, but the anticipation was killing me. I was also distracted by heavy stomping outside. It was after school! Couldn’t they keep it down at least a little? And then, even though I should’ve been alone, I heard someone else enter the library.
It was Charlie! What was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be at practice? He was still wearing his uniform too. I had to admit, his new look did suit him. I found myself staring at his nice round bubble butt. It was always on the larger side, but it had to look even bigger now. His football pants helped to emphasize his best features. What am I even saying? Even if he was objectively more handsome, any attraction I would have for him would vanish as soon as he opened his dumb mouth.
“Hey, Brady! I didn’t know you were still here,” Charlie greeted me with a stupid grin on his face. I hated that he was trying so hard to be friendly with me.
“Yeah, Bradley has to pick me up today,” I responded. Surely just putting up with him would get him off my back for a while. The last thing I wanted was for him to interfere with my plans. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at practice.”
“I forgot my book in class, so I went to go get it really quick. But then, I saw you. Brad did say that he would be picking you up today.” What an odd excuse. I couldn’t imagine the coach letting him leave practice early for a stupid reason like that.
“Couldn’t you just go after practice? Like don’t you have better things to do?”
“I told Coach I’d be quick. Plus, I wanted to see you!” He wrapped his meaty arm around my scrawny shoulder. I could smell a strong waft from his armpit, from the sweat of a hard workout. I would’ve pushed him off me, but there was little point fighting back against a man as strong as he is. It was a friendly gesture anyways.
“I’m kinda sad that we don’t talk much, bro. I know I spend a lot of time on the football team, but I would’ve liked to get to know you better. I think you should join the team so we can hang out more.”
“I’m not…” my annoyant tone was paused as Charlie pushed his face into mine. He was kissing me? I had to admit, he was a good kisser, both strong and passionate. I wasn’t sure if he was naturally like this or if his jock side made him a better kisser. As our lips parted, I felt my face turn beet red. I was overwhelmed, embarrassed, confused, furious, annoyed…No. I couldn’t find any one word to describe how I felt. I knew I wasn’t supposed to kiss him, but it did genuinely feel nice even if I couldn’t stand Charlie the jock. I had to get it together. He was obviously trying to mess with me, but my answer stayed the same. “I’m not joining the team.”
“Yes you are,” a voice said as a set of hands grabbed me from behind. Before I could call out for help, one of the firm hands covered my mouth, deafening my cries for help. Fuck, it was Jake! He must’ve snuck in while I was distracted and disoriented. He effortlessly picked me up and shoved me into a black gym bag. I was trapped. I couldn’t see a thing and no one could hear me either. It was a tight fit and I couldn’t fight back against the scent of old, sweaty gym clothes.
“Good work, little bro,” Jake said as he high-fived Charlie. “Now let’s take him to the locker room.” Shit, they were already one step ahead of me. I had to admit, these meathead jocks were smarter than I thought. I remembered Charlie’s words and I realized what they were going to do to me. They were planning to turn me into a jock! This cannot be happening. As I tried to think of a plan to get out of this situation, my mind became clouded by the intoxicating scent inside the bag. I hated the smell of sweat and musk, but for some reason, I started to feel a little hard. For some reason, I picked up one of the articles of clothing, a sweaty unwashed jockstrap, and out of curiosity, I found myself sniffing it. I became distracted by the pungent smell momentarily as I was carried to my destination.
When I finally saw light again, I was surrounded by a horde of members of the football team in the locker room. They all stood in a circle and they looked like predators, and I was their prey. I contemplated the idea of running, but I knew it was physically impossible to outrun even one of them with their superior athletic abilities. I thought about begging for mercy, but I knew they could not be reasoned with and because of my pride, I didn’t want me to come across as weak. Brad walked over to me, carrying an entire football uniform that seemed way too big for me.
“Put them on, bro,” he ordered. I obliged, seeing as I no longer had any say in the matter. I felt a sense of embarrassment because the clothes were way too big on me. It felt like I was a kid trying to wear his dad’s clothes.
“You’ll grow into it, trust me,” Jake said, his hand on Zach's shoulder, a proud smirk plastered on his face. My worst fears were realized. I didn’t know how but they were going to turn me into one of them, yet another jock.
“You’re probably wondering why we brought you here, little bro. Well, we know you’ve been trying to get in our way. You’re the only student in this school who knows or even cares what we do. You’re the minority, bro,” Brad explained. He reached into my backpack which he was holding and pulled out the flash drive that stored all my evidence. “I noticed that you were trying to hide this the other day when I came in. You might just think I’m a ‘dumb brute’ but even I couldn’t miss something that obvious. I wonder why you had to hide it, bro…” he teased as he inserted it into a laptop on one of the benches. It didn’t take long for him to find the document I used to share my findings.
“Well, well…” Zach teased. “Looks like someone did their research. I’m kinda impressed at how much you use your brain, bro. Too bad you won’t be needing it for much anymore.” He then proceeded to delete the file as my hard work was erased from the flash drive. I felt mortified as my hard work was all for nothing and I realized what was going to become my fate. I then heard footsteps coming in from outside.
“I believe this is our first time meeting,” a commanding voice stated. From the way he spoke, I felt any amount of defiance I still had in me turn into submissiveness, like a father catching his son sneaking out at night. “It seems you already know who I am, but I’m Coach Myers. I’m sure you’re full of questions, and don’t worry, I’ll have plenty of time to answer every last one of them.”
I was looking at the man in charge, the mastermind behind all of the jocks who were transformed. I had so much I wanted to ask him, both out of curiosity and anger, that I didn’t know where to start.
“What caused you to turn these students into jocks?” I asked.
“Good question. I was always interested in bringing out the best in one’s self, but I never knew where to start until recently. Me and Zach’s father were close friends in the NFL. As a result, Zach always looked up to me, but even though he wanted to be a football player like his father, he wasn’t able to cut it.”
I looked at Zach, who normally seemed very confident and arrogant, but for the first time since I’ve seen him, for just a split second, he felt humbled, reminded of his shortcomings. For once, I kinda felt bad for the guy even though I thought he was a total douche. Despite the sob story, I still realized that what he had done was too far.
“He approached me in tears one day. He wished he was stronger, wished he was more like the guys he looked up to at school. And that’s when I realized that maybe I could help him. And so we spent almost a year studying ways to transform his body and even his mind into the perfect football player. And eventually, we succeeded. Zach was exactly the person he dreamed of being.”
I now knew why and how it began. Zach was the first, the alpha. But why did he keep doing it? “You helped to make Zach who he is now, but why did you continue to do it to other students?” I asked.
“I’m glad you asked. Although changing Zach was my finest achievement, I realized that there were many kids his age who were just like him. Some felt inadequate, incomplete, inferior, and some just lacked any purpose in general. So I gave these boys that purpose, and I made them into the strong men that they always dreamed of being. And not just in this school. High schools and colleges all across America are doing the exact same thing we are doing, all thanks to my innovations.”
I was shocked by this revelation. This jock problem was happening at an even larger scale than I could’ve possibly imagined. Surely there had to have been hundreds of guys turned into jocks just like here at this school, perhaps even some of the ones that tried to oppose them like me. I realized how hopeless I felt.
“I know my research is unethical but I believe that what I am doing is right. But back to you, do you not feel at least a little envious of your brother?”
I looked over at Brad…why was I calling him Brad? I have to admit, I was always a little jealous of him. He always seemed to be the favorite child, and now that he’s been jocked and has joined the football team, he’s infinitely more popular than me. If I were just like him, then maybe…No. That’s what he wants me to think. But at the same time, I could imagine myself becoming as strong as him, becoming as popular as him.
And then I realized the futility of this decision. They were going to turn me into a jock anyways. But for some reason, I had warmed up to the idea, in a way that would’ve sickened me just an hour earlier. Maybe I was experiencing Stockholm Syndrome, or maybe I did feel envious of Brad this whole time just like how Coach Myers described.
“Coach can make you just like he made me. We’ll finally get along again, and we can bond better than we ever could before. What do you say bro?” Brad asked.
I looked at my brother, then around to the other jocks around me, then finally to Coach. If I said yes, then I would have a brother again. I’ll be more attractive and more popular and maybe I’ll even be happier this way. Maybe Charlie will want to go out with me. But that would mean erasing who I am to become yet another jock. That I would lose and all of this would be for nothing. Who am I kidding? I already lost. I was doomed to become a jock the moment I tried to intervene in their plans. But you know, maybe this isn’t so bad. I tried to imagine my jock life with a newfound sense of optimism.
“You’ll have to consent to joining the team before we can move forward,” Coach informed me.
“Enough with your monologue, I’ll do it,” I answered, with a sense of humiliation as I surrendered. However, there was a slight smirk on my face, either from embarrassment or from how absurd my situation really was.
“That took less time than I expected,” Coach responded. “The rest of you, resume practice drills. Braden, come with me.” I obliged, anticipating what the Coach had in store for me. I signed a form, put on some earbuds, and put the helmet on.
As the hypnotic video in front of me played, I slowly became entranced by the spiral that was sucking me into my new life as I felt parts of my mind become erased, including any part of me that still tried to resist this. “I wanted this,” I thought to myself as new thoughts and memories started to fill the gaps in my mind. It was like a computer deleting old files that weren’t important in order to make room for stuff that mattered way more. I always looked up to my brother Brad, as he was a year older than me. He was incredibly talented at football, so naturally, I followed in his footsteps. Being younger, I was less experienced than him, but he was a good role model and I aspired to match him as a player. He was like the touchdown in the endzone and I was at the 50 yard line to put it in better terms.
My body changed entirely. Every muscle in my body expanded, like I was being pumped full of air. My football uniform that was way too big at first, soon fit me like a glove. It was a little painful at first, but I soon felt a wave of euphoria rush over me as I became obsessed with my body, especially my new dick, which more than doubled in size to a massive 10 inches. I started to resemble the new Brad, with the same short buzzcut. Before we didn’t look much alike. Brad was always more on the chubby side and I was on the skinnier side. But now, we could almost pass as twins. You could still tell which one of us was the little brother though.
This is who I am. This is who I always was. I am a football jock. I started to love the idea of playing sports and working out, along with other things. Except I always did? Part of me remembered thinking the jocks were stupid, arrogant, and annoying brutes, but that’s wrong because all my friends are jocks and they are really cool, bro. Bro. Bro, bro, bro…I’m starting to like that word, dude. Eventually I woke up, without any knowledge of what had taken place today, reveling in my new changes.
“I take it you won’t be a problem anymore, kid?” Coach inquired.
“No Coach! I’m sorry for causing you trouble dude,” I answered. Part of me felt off, and I felt confused for a second. I wondered what got me in trouble, but I shrugged it off because I don’t think about that kind of stuff.
“I did keep some of your smarts, unlike the others, but you definitely won’t come off that way. Your grades were better than the rest and I figured it’d be a waste if they were to completely go away. How would you like to help me expand upon my research?”
“That’d be awesome, sir!” I answered. My new self couldn’t comprehend the irony that I would be directly helping Coach with the very schemes I was trying so hard to stop in the first place. But why would I ever want to put an end to the very thing that made me who I am now? I didn’t look or act the part, but I’m kinda smart I guess. I’m not a fucking nerd or a know-it-all though. Not that I really want to use my brain more than I have to except for counting calories and football plays. I was interested in turning more men into awesome jocks like me though. “Can I go back to practice?”
“Yeah, go meet up with the other boys. I’ll be out in a sec.”
I joined my fellow bros and we resumed practice. Playing football just felt natural to me. We held a party after the game on Friday to celebrate our win. We were on a huge winning streak. We hadn’t even lost once this season! At the party, Charlie asked me out, impressed with my masculine new look. Turns out he did like me back after all. He kissed me in the library after all, although I don’t remember why we were there in the first place. He was always kinda hot, so I said yes, and we quickly realized how much chemistry we had beyond being bros. We were soon the second couple on the team, the other being Jake and Zach, who were a year above us, who were just as cool. Nothing wrong with some bro on bro action after all.
Me and Brad had a bit of a fight a while ago, but we’re cool now. I’m even closer with my big bro than I had ever been before, especially now that we’re on the team together. I loved life with my bros and I knew my bros loved their lives too. After practice, I would stay after with Coach and Zach and we would look into ways to create more and even better jocks. I haven’t been filled in on the finer details yet, but I know that they have big plans not only for this school, but for other schools as well. I found this purpose along with playing football to be much more compelling to me than anything else. If there was a part of me that was upset about this life, it definitely wasn’t there anymore because I loved being a jock.
--Zach POV--
I spent the night at Jake’s place again. Today was a long day though. Between practice and all the stuff with Braden, I was exhausted. It did feel like everything was resolved though, and I felt satisfied knowing that our secrets were safe now. I laid in Jake’s bed and I talked with him.
“Another jock well done bro,” I said, as I wrapped my arms around and kissed my boyfriend.
“We were awesome today,” Jake responded. “I can tell that Braden is already loving his new jock body. Glad he could finally see the light, bro.”
“Can’t blame him. I have no regrets about anything though, even Braden. How about you bro?”
“Me neither. I love being a jock and I love making my bros into jocks too. I’m with you every step of the way, bro.”
“That’s my bro!” I rustled Jake’s hair before leaning in for a kiss. For the first time ever, I felt completely content with my life. I have Jake, Coach, and all my other bros to support me. I’m the captain and star quarterback of the football team and I carry us to victory every game. The jock life is perfect for me and for all my bros. If even Braden could see how awesome it was, I knew that anyone could if given the chance. I got hard as I imagined what it would be like if every guy at school was as strong and handsome as me. If everyone was a jock. With Jake on my side and everyone else, I knew we could take on anything, anyone. Maybe even the world. “We still have lots of work to do.”
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This is the end of this series for now, so thank you for reading it. I'm open to expanding upon it even more in the future if the demand is high enough and if I have ideas on where to take it. I also have a lot of other shorter transformation story ideas that I want to write eventually, so stay tuned.
#jock#jock tf#jock transformation#jockification#jock bro#male hypnosis#male tf#male transformation#mental change#muscle tf#gay jock#nerd to jock#gay tf#dumbing down#muscle transformation#transformation#reprogramming#reality change#himbo#himbo tf#himboification#himbo transformation#dumber#football jock#mental changes#personality change
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Boy Next Door (m) Ch.1 | BBH
Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader
Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut
Warnings [whole story]: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex
Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 4.5k (pt.1)
Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?
© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.
Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)
Author’s note: This has taken me so, SO long to write and edit that I cannot believe the time has come to post it lmao I just wanted to write something simple with the classic boy-next-door vibe but as usual, the story ended up being much longer than planned and I am going to post it as a mini-series. Please keep in mind that your feedback is what motivates me to write and post more <3 And biiig thanks to the lovely @beomcoups for taking on the beta duties on this whole story~
Network Tags: @bbh-net @k-vanity @ksmutsociety
PART 1
In the lobby or on your floor – those were the two locations where you’d been bumping into Baekhyun most often. Which wasn’t that strange, considering that you were neighbors. But it somehow always caught you off guard and left you flustered.
Just like the first time.
It happened almost a year ago when you were waiting for the elevator on the first floor of your building with your best friend Yuki, who came early to help you with preparations. A guy in a loose white dress shirt and jeans stepped into the elevator with you, politely greeting you before pressing his floor number.
‘Oh, you live on the 13th as well? So, you and our Y/N are neighbors!’ Yuki exclaimed.
‘Nice to meet you,’ you muttered and bowed, shy from the sudden introduction. He reciprocated, chocolate hair falling into his eyes charmingly.
‘You should come to her housewarming party! It’s in a couple hours,’ Yuki chimed in again. ‘You don’t need to bring anything, it’s just a small thing with a couple friends and neighbors. We’re making sure Y/N-ie settles in nicely here. So please come, we have tons of food!’
If anyone could ever say no to your friend… Well, you had never met such a person. You guessed that Baekhyun was simply too stunned by her enthusiasm, so he said he’d swing by for sure. In a way, you were thankful that she’d asked him – you’d have never had the guts to invite someone like that; especially not anyone as good-looking and cool as Baekhyun.
You regretted letting your bestie invite him the following evening when your party was in full swing for several hours. Most of the food was devoured, so now you were all drinking, crunching on snacks, and conversing; or trying to while jumping from one topic to another.
‘I wish we could gather more often. We all like to hang out with you, you know?’
As always, Yuki nagged at you for being too ‘stay-at-home’ of a friend.
‘I like to hang out too. But home is home. You know parties aren’t really my… favorite pastime.’
‘What is your favorite pastime, lying in bed cuddling your blanket?’ Chanyeol joked insensitively.
He should’ve known better since you were the most troubled in your group of friends regarding relationships. It was super tough for you to find a match, even when you made an effort to get out of the house and meet new people, mostly because of your history of failed relationships where your partners gained interest in someone else. It seemed like you were too plain to hold someone’s attention for long. So, you’d been ‘that single friend’ for several lonely years now. And at this time, you were actually in the very beginning of a new, promising relationship. You were still pretty insecure about it; thus, Yeol’s comment really did make you flinch. He was drunk, so that was understandable, but you still sulked at his words, mainly because they were true.
‘Hey, it doesn’t have to be a blanket.’ You frowned, pressing the straw to your lips in frustration.
‘I’m kinda sad that guy you’ve been talking to couldn’t come,’ Yuki interjected. ‘I wanted to find out what he’s like.’
‘Minho had work-related travel, so he’s resting up.’ You shrugged, sipping your drink timidly.
‘I’m sure the guy made this excuse just to avoid meeting your friends. How long have you known him for, like, two days?’ Chanyeol interjected.
‘It’s been a few weeks, actually,’ you corrected, and Hoseok, Yuki’s boyfriend, muttered a reproaching ‘hyung’ in his direction.
‘Gosh, you’re really this stupid while drunk,’ Yuki shook her head disapprovingly at your friend, who simply shrugged.
Baekhyun was pretty silent during the latest exchange, so when you briefly made eye contact, it reminded you that he could also hear all of that chatter. Which made you want to choke on your drink from humiliation. Thankfully, one of your friends still had some tact left that night, so they quickly changed the direction of the conversation. Still… you’d been mortified for weeks after the event, doing your best to avoid bumping into Baekhyun when leaving for work.
***
The next time you met, Baekhyun was also in the lobby of your apartment building. And once again, before a gathering at your place. Just days prior you had lost it and left your resignation letter at your boss's desk. Working such long hours under the constant pressure of absolutely unrealistic deadlines was taking its toll on you for sure. But when you found out they promoted a person, who was obviously less experienced and capable than you in working (but more capable in flirting with your manager), instead of you… It became the last straw.
Baekhyun appeared right on time as you struggled to push the elevator button with a whole case of beer in your hands.
‘Y/N,’ you heard his velvety voice call. ‘Nice to see you.’
‘Oh- Hi, Baekhyun.’ You greeted awkwardly, puffing from the weight you had to balance.
‘Let me help you with that?’ His suggestion sounded like a question, yet he instantly scooped the case from your hands.
‘You don’t need- thank you,’ you said, and he shook his head to indicate that it wasn’t a big deal.
‘So… having a party again?’ He asked as the elevator doors closed.
‘I wouldn’t call it a party,’ you hummed, looking at your feet. ‘I kinda had to quit my horrible job of 4 years, so my friends are making me celebrate it. Not that becoming unemployed calls for a celebration…’
You trailed off, not wanting to be a nuisance to your neighbor. He was just making small talk.
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you taking a break now or looking for something else?’
‘I’ll start looking next week. It’s Friday, my friends are coming… So I’ll try to just clear my mind and rest for one full weekend before I start stressing about a new job. Hopefully, my friends wouldn’t talk my ear off about it – that’s what the beer’s for. My little trick,’ you chuckled sheepishly.
‘Aren’t your friends supposed to treat you in this situation?’ Baekhyun huffed, shaking his head to rearrange his hair and better see you.
‘They should… bring more alcohol with them, I think. I couldn’t have them over for nothing, though.’
The doors opened after a robotic voice announced your floor.
‘Well, anyhow. Thanks a lot for your help!’ You tried taking the beer from Baekhyun, but he didn’t let you.
‘Open the door first; you can’t do it while holding this.’
‘Right. Thanks,’ you fussed, pressing your password in.
Baekhyun quickly placed the case on the floor of your hallway.
‘You should come!’ You blurted out, instantly getting flustered. ‘If you want.’
‘I might drop by if I’m free,’ he smiled softly. ‘My family wanted to have a video call later. That may take long.’
‘Of course. Have fun!’ You nodded, beating yourself up in your mind for being so weird suddenly.
‘You have fun,’ he chuckled, stepping towards his apartment. ‘Oh, and Y/N?’
Looking up at him as he called your name, you were met with his warm yet serious eyes.
‘If you need anything… You know where to find me.’
That made you strangely sentimental.
‘T-thank you.’
He sent you a message later on and let you know he couldn’t make it to your party. But in a way, he was there – on your mind.
***
It was about three weeks after you’d broken things off with Minho. If you could even consider it one, the relationship wasn’t long, only a couple months. At first, you thought it could be something, realizing later that it was only wishful thinking. There was no way the two of you could make it work; you were just not compatible with each other. The more you got to know him, the more you were reassured of that. Your life goals were different, your outlook on relationships was different… even your ideas of quality time with a significant other didn’t match. This time, the initial infatuation wore off rather quickly – probably because you didn’t go out of your way to appease him. You knew it was probably for the better. Pretty much all of your relationships ended the same way, with your boyfriends telling you they found someone else. Someone… more exciting.
This was the case for your first relationship halfway in your first year of university.
‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t feel the spark, you know? You’re so… domestic,’ your then-boyfriend said in his breakup speech. ‘I’m young, I want to experience stuff, be bold, and have fun. And there are people that I can do this with, who’ll also enjoy it.’
It repeated less than two years later when you’d barely worked up the courage to try and start something with another person. When it happened the third time, you decided you weren’t really made for relationships. It was ironic since you always wanted to be in one. You were very affectionate and were keen on taking care of people. Yes, you weren’t that into big gatherings and parties, and maybe it was a little too difficult to drag you anywhere when you were stressing about the upcoming tests and stuff… But you weren’t completely closed off! Even with those limitations, you were very sociable and had many friends. Was it so bad that you didn’t say yes to every suggestion? Did your inclination to stay at home and have cozy dates instead of outdoorsy stuff make you a non-relationship material? It seemed like every time someone else appeared, your boyfriends easily decided to move on.
And even though you weren’t in love with Minho, this breakup still made you sour. What made this particular day suck was that you’d found out that he was already in a new relationship; happily broadcasting it everywhere.
You weren’t jealous of him for being with someone else. You envied him for being able to find another partner in mere days after you parted ways, while for you, it felt like you’d never find or be able to retain anyone. Ever. Never ever.
‘Earth to Y/N!’ You jumped from someone’s voice ringing in your ears.
Looking up, you saw that the elevator doors were held open by your dashing neighbor, who was staring directly at you.
‘Sorry, I spaced out,’ you quickly entered. ‘Hi.’
‘Hey,’ Baekhyun smiled, pressing the button for your floor. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Um, yeah. No. I mean-’ You sighed. ‘I’m just a bit out of sorts.’
‘Trouble at work?’
‘No, my new job is great. A huge improvement on the previous one. It’s just… everything else is not nearly as great?’
Yeah, because you pushed yourself to get back on the market to finally not be alone, and here you were. Back to square one.The sniffling you produced startled even your own self.
‘Oh god, I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about,’ he replied, his voice gentle. ‘Do you want to talk?’
‘Oh no, I wouldn’t dream about boring you with my stupid problems.’
‘I’m sure they aren’t stupid,’ he said. ‘And I have ice cream. Almost any flavor you could think of.’
You looked at him silently, and he smiled again reassuringly.
‘It’s not mandatory for you to tell me anything. But I can treat my favorite neighbor with some ice cream, can I not?’
‘Am I your favorite just because you don’t know anyone else?’ You snickered gawkily.
‘No. Not just-’
He was interrupted by the usual announcement of your floor.
‘So, what do you think? You can change first and then come, no hurry. I’m free tonight.’
You puckered your lips, genuinely intrigued by his offer. Ice cream sounded perfect right about now. Although agreeing just because of the promised treats was pretty childish, you couldn’t help but be seduced by his suggestion. So, you gave him a shy nod.
‘Okay. Throw on something comfy and come over.’
You entered your respective apartments, and only after the door behind you locked… you realized that your heart was racing.
‘Damn you, Y/N, why did you agree to do this??’ You whined, catching a glimpse of your scrunched-up face in the mirror.
Fishing your phone out of your handbag quickly, you messaged Yuki.
You | I fucked up, Yu!!
You | Idk what to do now…. ㅠㅠ
Ki-yaah | What happened?? Did you like a pic on Minho’s new gf’s SNS??
Ki-yaah | I’m so dumb for telling you about this… I’m so sorry Y/N ㅠㅠ
You | No, not that
You | Who cares about Minho and his girlfriend??
You | I mean, I was a bit salty about this… But I met Baekhyun again!
Ki-yaah | Baekhyun? Your cute as fuck neighbor Baekhyun??
You | No
You | Yes?
You | My neighbor Baekhyun. I blurted out that I wasn’t in the greatest mood, and he invited me to his place for ice cream!
Ki-yaah | WHAT
Ki-yaah | YAH
Ki-yaah | THAT SLEEK BASTARD
Ki-yaah | I hope you’re texting me from his couch
Ki-yaah | Or kitchen counter
Ki-yaah | Or wherever you kids decide to do it
A bunch of obscene emojis appeared on your screen, making you blush on the spot.
You | Do it?? We’re not doing anything. I’m home!
Ki-yaah | So, you’ve already done it?? HOW WAS IT??
Ki-yaah | Waaah, you’re quick these days, Y/N-ah! Finally, you’re learning your lessons
Ki-yaah | I hope you wrapped it up though
Ki-yaah | I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped it, though, I can imagine how starved you are on good sex.. Still, safety first!
Ki-yaah | Wait, so was he?? Any good??
Ki-yaah | You’re silent!
She typed so fast that you didn’t even have a second to write back, mostly from shock – your friend wasn’t always this shameless, actually.
Then she started calling.
‘Yah, why aren’t you spilling the beans?? Too worn out to type, bestie?’ She smirked on the phone, making you cringe.
‘Because there’s nothing to spill! I haven’t even gone over yet.’
There was a second of silence.
‘… What?!’
‘I have to change; I just came from work, you know? My makeup needs fixing too…’
Your phone instantly started vibrating as a video call request came in, which you begrudgingly accepted.
‘Damn, you can’t go like this. It’s not seductive at all!’ She exclaimed.
‘I’m not going over to seduce anyone! And he told me to wear something comfy…’
‘What?? Hm, actually…’ She tapped her index finger on her chin, deep in thought. ‘He does look like the type to be into that.’
‘I-into what?’
‘Cute girls! I told you already, he was probably crushing on you since the time he came to your housewarming party!’
‘Pfft, that’s ridiculous. And don’t bring up him allegedly glaring at Yeol for his stupid comments again, I beg of you!’
‘Alright. But he’s always so nice to you! Oh-Em-Gee, you’d look so cute together,’ she squealed.
‘I don’t have time for this. I can’t have him waiting for much longer, and I need to shower…’
‘Yes! And remove your makeup while you’re at it.’
‘Huh?? If I redo my makeup… isn’t it gonna look strange? Like I’m trying too hard?’
‘You won’t have to redo it. You’ll have only very basic nude makeup on. Looking all natural and cute.’
‘I swear, if you say ‘cute’ one more time-’
‘Can’t a girl dream?? I can already imagine how cute your children would be…’ Your friend kept musing.
‘I’m hanging up.’
‘Yah, take this seriously. Clean up nicely, and let your hair down. Also, shave your-’
‘Yuki!!’
‘You never know!! One second, he’s licking ice cream off his spoon; the other, he’s l-’
Quickly tapping on your phone screen, you canceled this embarrassing call. The vivid images didn’t leave your mind as fast, though, so you shivered, shaking your head to get rid of the obscenities.
‘She’s a bad influence, for sure,’ you muttered, still ashamed of yourself for imagining your neighbor in such a context.
The time was ticking, so you decided that Yuki was somewhat right and needed to clean up. You also needed to hurry the heck up; you didn’t want to make Baekhyun wait too long. Thirty minutes later, you were in front of his door.
‘Come in, come in,’ he ushered you inside, having you change your footwear for the pink house slippers.
Why did he have those again?
‘Cute, right? I ordered them for my niece and got the size completely wrong, but they fit you perfectly. I guess I wasn’t wrong after all.’
He looked at your feet for another second before blinking and clearing his throat.
‘Let’s not waste any more time, everything’s ready. Come on!’
Everything? Did he prepare a whole reception?
You took a good look at the back of his head as he walked you to his kitchen, noticing that his hair was slightly wet. Did he also shower? You swallowed at the thought. He probably didn’t invest as much time into the preparations as you did, though. You blamed your best friend for the inappropriate thought she planted in your head!
‘Here, take a look.’
He opened his freezer, and you gasped.
There was an entire collection of ice cream. Cones, popsicles, buckets… All different flavors and manufacturers.
‘I see you’re impressed,’ he smirked. ‘I have a niece and a nephew, you know? Kids aren’t easy to please these days.’
‘Can’t deny that I am. How many do you have here?’
‘No idea… I just keep buying them. Which one’s to your liking? You can try different ones. I’m in the mood for mint choco and lemon.’
‘Those are my favorites!’ You jumped up like a kid.
‘Really? Both?’
‘Yeah! I haven’t seen a lemon ice cream anywhere, only sorbets! Where did you find it?’ You closed the freezer as he got the two buckets out.
Baekhyun suddenly seemed pleased with himself.
‘You think I give away trade secrets just like that…’ He replied mysteriously.
‘I wanna buy some too,’ you pouted, circling around him while he took the lids off. ‘If you don’t tell me… I’ll eat all of yours!’
‘Ha, go ahead. There’s more where that came from,’ he teased right back, hovering slightly over you.
Lowering your gaze to avoid staring directly at him, you noticed something.
‘What’s this?’
Baekhyun turned back to the counter.
‘Ah, this old thing? You know how ice cream scoops are sold in paper cups or cones? This thing,’ he picked it up. ‘Is to make those. Watch.’
He dipped the instrument in water and shook it slightly, then scooped the mint ice cream, creating a smooth green ball with tiny pieces of chocolate adding to its hue.
‘Cool,’ you muttered, genuinely finding that fascinating.
‘Right? It’s awesome!’
‘Let me guess: the kids don’t appreciate it enough?’ You asked.
‘Those little- Here, you try with lemon.’ He pressed on a small lever and dropped the green globe into a bowl.
You shook your head.
‘I’ll mess it up; you do it.’
‘Come on, Y/N. You can’t mess it up; it’s just ice cream.’
‘Just ice cream? You don’t deserve to know the secret selling spots for this!’
He snorted, moving to the side to give you more space to try and repeat his previous actions.
You dipped it in water like he did and shook it before moving the lemon ice cream bucket closer. Spending about twenty seconds taking aim, you huffed.
‘I can’t do it! Yours is so round and pretty; I am not that professional.’
‘I’ll help,’ he chuckled at your meltdown, holding your wrist and softly pressing down on your hand to guide it. ‘Scoop it this way to make it full and round.’
You did as you were told, yet your mind was far away from the scooping technique. The entire focus of your being was now set on the unprecedented proximity you were in. He held your hand, his chest so close to your shoulder that you could feel the heat radiating off him. When you dropped a yellow ball of lemon ice cream into the bowl, you could only pray that he didn’t notice the goosebumps littering your arms.
‘See? Yours is even better-shaped than mine,’ he hummed close to your ear.
‘Y-yeah.’
As if sensing your perturbation, Baekhyun suddenly stepped back.
‘Trying just two flavors is a waste of an evening. Let’s get more.’
Ten minutes later, you were sitting in his living room at the small table in front of his couch. The bowl with at least a dozen different ice creams sat atop another one, which was filled with ice.
‘No one likes melted goo, right?’ Baekhyun chuckled while constructing this mobile freezer.
You tried all of them one by one, gushing about each flavor.
‘The grape one isn’t tickling my fancy,’ he said, nudging the oddly-colored glob away.
‘Really?’ You reached for it with your spoon.
‘Don’t even try it. That’s bad,’ he scrunched his nose. ‘I can taste every chemical they used to make this grape flavor.’
You laughed, trying it despite his protests.
‘It tastes like… very cheap jelly,’ you said.
‘Exactly! Such a strange texture. Hmm, I shall look for a better option then. My nephew Siwoo loves grapes.’
You smiled at his concern for his youngest family member’s preferences.
‘Your nephews must be the happiest kids in town with an uncle like that,’ you murmured, stealing a bite from the rest of the lemon ball that he subtly nudged your way earlier.
‘They’re pretty lucky, aren’t they?’ He agreed easily, earning a snicker from you.
As you savored the last of the lemon flavor on your tongue, he leaned in, eyes focused on your lips.
‘You eat just like Siwoo,’ he instinctively wiped your lower lip with his thumb.
Looking up at him, you caught the moment he realized what he was doing and retreated.
‘Sorry,’ he muttered awkwardly. ‘It’s a habit.’
Pressing your finger to your lower lip, which was now burning, you shook your head neutrally.
‘It’s okay. You must spend a lot of time with them,’ you scooped more in your spoon to somehow soothe the burn on your lips.
‘Not as much as I’d like. Most of the time, our schedules don’t match up, especially with them living in a different city. I try to have them over or visit them as much as possible.’
Baekhyun’s voice became warmer as he reminisced.
‘I get scolded by hyung a lot for spoiling them. But what can I do? At least they’ll have those pleasant memories and presents to remember me by while we’re apart.’
‘Are they close in age?’
‘About four years apart. Seoyul is pretty grown already; I can’t believe her little brother is going to school soon as well.’ He smiled, remembering something. ‘When she started her first grade, he was so upset. He cried every time she left the house.’
‘Aw, that’s so cute,’ you cooed. ‘So they’re getting along well?’
‘Yeah, apart from the occasional bickering. Siwoo is… a boy.’
‘A little daredevil?’
‘He’s driving his noona insane sometimes. To be honest, I was exactly the same at his age. We’re both lucky to have siblings several years older.’
‘Ah, so your hyung is much older than you?’
‘Seven years. He was almost like a father,’ Baekhyun chuckled. ‘But had he been even a couple of years younger… Pretty sure he would’ve given me a piece of his mind back then.’
‘I wouldn’t ever imagine that you were a maknae of your family.’
‘Why? I had so much aegyo as a child! Yes, my mom had to exercise lots of patience, but I was cute as hell.’
‘I’m sure that’s how it was,’ you hummed.
‘I’m still in the top-3 cutest of our family list. Might even be cuter than Seoyul at times; she’s way too serious these days.’
‘Wow, going over your nephews’ heads after the title… How mature of you.’
‘Hey, don’t blame me for being extremely cute.’
‘Show me some aegyo then,’ you challenged him with a smile.
‘Huh, you wish. You’re not ready for my aegyo, Y/N-ie.’ He responded sassily.
‘Is that so?’ You smirked, holding his gaze up until the chime of your phone provided an interruption.
Your bestie found a great time to pry into your business, which was evident from the message previews on the screen.
Ki-yaah | You’re not texting me back…
Ki-yaah | Which either means that you chickened out…
Ki-yaah | …or his stamina is REALLY freaking impressive
Ki-yaah | Which one is it??? I hope it’s the latter!
You inhaled sharply and started coughing, barely managing to swipe those messages off the screen before Baekhyun could see them.
‘Are you okay?’ He patted you on the back to help you overcome your coughing fit.
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t realize it was so late… It was so rude of me to keep you up. Let me help you clean this up.’
‘Leave it,’ he shook his head, catching you by the wrist. ‘I’ll put this away later.’
‘I’ll… get going then,’ you stood so abruptly that your legs couldn’t keep up with you, completely numb from being in the same position for so long.
‘Y/N!’ Baekhyun rose to catch you by the arms. ‘Take a second, sit on the couch. Your legs must’ve fallen asleep.’
You swatted at your legs with your palms, urging the blood flow to restore quicker.
‘Sorry…’
‘Why are you sorry? I’m not in a hurry to get rid of you.’ He stated simply.
‘It’s just so late… and… you must have stuff to do.’
‘Nope. I actually had fun. I rarely get to sit around at home munching on ice cream and enjoying another grownup’s company.’
You bit your lip shyly at his words, and he suddenly tsked.
‘Although I feel like we were mostly talking about me. That’s a shame. I want to hear about you as well,’ Baekhyun mused, walking you to the door. ‘Well, let’s save it for next time.’
Next time, he said.
Next time??
You turned your back on him to conceal the shade of your cheeks and pretended to fidget with the doorknob.
‘Let me,’ he reached over you, pressing his warm chest to your back for a second to unlock the door.
But before you could step outside, his fingers wrapped around your forearm in a lax hold.
‘And Y/N… If you ever find yourself craving some lemon ice cream… I’m ready to provide it.’
With that, he pushed the door open and allowed you to leave his apartment.
Masterlist
A/N: Thank you for reading! Another BBH mini-series started 💫 I hope you enjoyed part 1~ Pls let me know what you think via comments, asks and reblogs, my darlings 💜 Also, I am very curious if you are picturing anyone in particular as Hoseok hehe 🙃
#baekhyun smut#baekhyun x reader#baekhyun scenario#byun baekhyun smut#baekhyun fanfic#exo smut#icequeenbae fics#Boy Next Door#kvanity#ksmutsociety#bbh-net#baekhyun#byun baekhyun#baekhyun fic#baekhyun x you#baekhyun x oc#baekhyun fluff#baekhyun fanfiction#baekhyun scenarios#exo byun baekhyun#neighbor!baek#BBH mini-series#BBH series#BBH#exo baekhyun
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The game of cat and spider Chapter 1
Main masterlist ♡ Miguel O'hara masterlist ♡ The game of cat and spider Masterlist ♡ AO3
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |
A/n: And here I am with my first Miguel fanfic! I can't say how many chapters this story will have because I am still in the middle of planning out this fic. I hope you enjoy it! I am looking forward to reading your feedback :3 I will try my best and update every week
Pairing: Miguel o'hara x black cat! Reader
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: mention on a wound and blood. There are probably some mistakes since I didn't proofread ups..
Series Summary: You are a criminal and he's a hero. You don't know each other's names, never seen the person behind the mask. You aren't enemies- you are supposed to be but that didn't work out quite well. You liked each other a bit too much, but your relationship was strictly…. Professional? What happens if you meet as normal people, with no masks and responsibilities in your way? What did the universe plan for you? And most importantly…. Will it last?
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"Here, kitty kitty." The spider-man called, chasing the town's most famous thief- the black cat. You were proud of this title- most wanted criminal in Nueva York. You worked hard to earn that and no person was gonna take that away from you. Especially not a grown us man playing dress-up at night.
It stopped raining hours ago, but the streets were still wet and slippery which meant you had to be really careful. It would be incredibly embarrassing to land on your ass and get your suit wet in front of the town's favourite superhero. Even though it was still summer, the nights got really cold sometimes. Like now. Your suit wasn't made for this kind of weather and if you weren't running you would surely be shivering. The raindrops on windows and the ground reflected the street lights, creating a cozy atmosphere. It was one of the most silent parts of the city- there weren't many cars driving at this hour and people who lived there were already asleep. A typical upper class corner. It was unusual for a metropole like Nueva York to be this quiet, that's why you liked 'working' in this neighbourhood. It was quiet. Almost relaxing. You would probably appreciate your surroundings more if it wasn't for the man in a latex bodysuit running after you.
His costume was soaked after you pushed him into the pool in someone's garden as you were fighting him off of you. The droplets made him shine a little when the light hit him at the right angle.
At first Miguel treated you like any other criminal- you were an obstacle that had to be removed- but you escaped him every damn time. O'hara was beyond furious the first few times it happened. And your flirty comments and constant teasing didn't help at all. That's why he was surprised when he noticed that he started doing that, too at some point. Chasing you became more of a hobby than responsibility and even though Miguel would never say that out loud, he kinda enjoyed it. It's been almost a year since the two of you started that little game of cat and spider and it would be a lie if Miguel said you were an enemy. You were more of a…. Miguel wasn't entirely sure what your relationship was, but you definitely didn't hate each other and even though it's Spider-man's job to capture you, he didn't actually want to do it. But you didn't have to know about that.
"Just give me the necklace back and we can call it a day." The man sighed, pretending to be irritated as you kept running away. The black cat made spider-man's job fun, but the man would never admit it. The 'fights' with you- if Miguel could even call them fights- were different. You were no villain that wanted to take over the town. Neither were you ever going to kill him just because he's spider-man. That's why Miguel actually kinda enjoyed those 'fights'. You were just a thief- a very skillful one, but still. The black cat had a sense of humour that no other person had and Miguel yearned for those interactions. It probably wasn't very hero-like to enjoy talking with a criminal, but O'hara wasn't an ordinary hero. He didn't like doing things by the 'superhero handbook'.
"Ask nicely and maybe I will" you chuckled, climbing over a wired fence. You were distracted by the man and didn't observe your surroundings well. That's why you hissed in pain as one of the wires that was standing out cut the skin on your tight, tearing your suit as well. You had to keep running, but the pain in your leg was slowing you down.
You gasped as you felt strong arms holding your shoulders from behind. Your back collided with Spider-man's broad chest. It made your head spin. Or was it because of the pain?
"Give it back, pretty please." The masked man whispered into your ear. "You will hurt yourself more if you keep running" his deep voice made shivers run down your spine.
"Pff, do you think I'm stupid?" You chuckled, turning your head to the left to get a better look at the masked man. "I worked two weeks to get this, you're not taking it away from me." You heard the spider-man sigh heavily. Your heartbeat quickened its pace and you begged it to stop. Having him touch you so firm, but yet so gentle made your knees buckle and you had enough.
For a moment your eyes met- at least that's what you thought since you couldn't really see his eyes- and you almost melted against his chest. That's when you decided it was too much and that your heart was crossing a line- how dared it make you feel weak and vulnerable?! You kicked the man's leg, taking him by surprise and fled. You heard some Spanish curses thrown your way and giggled. You run, ignoring the stinging sensation and manage to actually lose the hero. Enough adventures for one night.
You patted yourself on the shoulder for a job well done and headed back home. You arrived at an alley behind your apartment complex- that's where you hid a backpack with a simple hoodie and sweatpants. It would be weird if you entered the building as the black cat. You liked risks, but you would never compromise your private life. It was important to keep your secret identity a secret- that was the whole point of the word 'secret'. The neighbours wouldn't be happy to know you're a criminal- they already complained that your cat runs around the apartment complex unsupervised as if that was their biggest concern.
And it wasn't like you were really a criminal! Well, technically you were- stealing is a crime- but it's not like you were doing that for selfish reasons! You almost never keep the money from your heists to yourself. In the eye of the public you are an honourable person- an angel that supports charities, animal shelters and orphanages. They never ask where the money came from- they are simply happy they are getting some support. You still did some petry crime sometimes. Like that one time when some business guy was being rude to a waitress so you stole his wallet. Or that one time where you broke into the house of your best friend's ex boyfriend and stole his watch collection because he cheated on her. The point was that you only stole from bad people. And as everyone knows stealing from the rich is not a crime.
That spider-man guy didn't know about it, of course. You never told him why you are stealing and he didn't really have to know. It was fun to be chased by him- at the very beginning of your journey as the black cat you would always get an adrenaline kick from your robberies. But after a while it wasn't as thrilling anymore… you have gotten too good at cracking safes open and hacking security systems. It became so monotonous and simply not exciting. And then the spider-man came. The masked man made your 'side job' fun again. You got to steal from the rich, give to the poor and get chased by a charismatic hero in a tight latex costume. You never knew when he would appear, meaning you always had to be on your toes. But when he finally showed up, oh boy was it fun. You were worried at first, thinking he was capable enough to capture you, but thankfully you were wrong. The masked man was capable, of course, but not enough to get you. He was definitely a challenge and that's why you were determined to never get caught by him. You were sure that at some point he started enjoying those interactions, too.
You swore under your breath, looking for the keys to your apartment's door in the pockets of your hello kitty themed backpack. The blood coming from your tight soaked into the grey sweatpants you wore over your suit and if one of your nosy neighbours saw you like that you would never hear the end of it. And if they saw the shiny necklace in your bag they would bombard you with questions and gossip about it later. Finally after what felt like eternity you found the keys and with a relieved smile you opened the door. You could still feel his touch on your body…
You were greeted by the loud meowing of your beloved cat, Migsy.
"Yeah, I missed you too, baby" You chuckled, gently patting her head. "I will give you all my love when I patch myself up." You sighed heavily and headed to the bathroom. Your apartment wasn't really big- you had a bathroom, kitchen, living room and a bedroom with a little balcony attached to it. It was enough for you. Determined to make this house a home you spent hours painting the murals on your walls and decorating them with your art and photos. People loved spending time in your apartment- it was so green and fresh because of all the plants scattered across the floor. You always took good care of them and even gave them names. It might have been childish, but it made you happy and that was the only thing that mattered.
You would love nothing but to collapse on your green bubble couch and watch some shitty TV, but you had to take care of yourself first. There was no one else who could do that for you.
The rest of your night was filled with frustrated sobs as you stitched yourself up and the sound of music playing in the background that you put on to calm your nerves. The music didn't help though and you were still a nervous mess. Your head was filled with many thoughts about the man behind the spider-man mask. This little game the two of you played was getting dangerous. You realised it one night after you dreamed about kissing him- you told yourself it was nothing more than a silly crush to make yourself feel better. The man was very attractive after all. At least his body was because you have never seen his face. And that was another one of your problems- you yearned to know who he was behind the mast. Were his eyes brown or green? Did he have dimples when he smiled? Would his lips feel good against yours?
"Meow!" Migsy's cry snapped you out of your daydream.
"Oh, yeah, sorry baby," you apologised, quickly bandaging your wound. "I'm all yours now." You gave your furry roommate a gentle smile and picked her up. "It's time for us to sleep, don't you think?" You talked to the cat and she looked at you with her pretty yellow eyes.
You laid down on your bed, hugging the animal closer you your chest and her soft purring made you relax into the cold pillow.
You fell asleep, hoping that the Spider-man won't visit you in your dreams this time.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ chapter 2 ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Tag list: @serpentstarr @bucketluvr @nxrdamp
#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099 x reader
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A COMPREHENSIVE DEFENCE OF EVERYTHING TENTOO (PART 1)
Because unfortunately there’s a lot of stuff out there to refute.
so i guess a lot of people are watching doctor who right now because of good omens. and that, for some reason, means the tags are being constantly subjected to Certain tentoo takes so...it's meta time.
in this meta, i'll be rehashing how, exactly, tentoo is the doctor, and answering some other commonly posed objections to the pairing that is tentoo x rose.
But he's not the Doctor! Rose ended up with a copy!
First things first. The entire show revolves around the philosophical concept of Cartesian Dualism--the idea that the soul/spirit/mind has an entirely separate existence from the physical body. This is the basic principle of regeneration; when the Doctor regenerates, every organ, every cell in his body changes, and yet he remains the same man. What makes the Ninth Doctor the same man as the Tenth Doctor? There's something underlying here---the memories, the mind, the spirit. The body, has absolutely no significance.
In S6E6, The Almost People, we are introduced to the Ganger!Doctor. This is a man made out of like, slime, but he has the Eleventh Doctor's memories. Thus, he IS the Doctor. The Doctor himself says this.
In S9E11, Heaven Sent, the Twelfth Doctor is reduced to ashes millions and millions of times, and yet each time his body is 'recreated' or 'cloned', he remains the same person. Why? Because the memories persist. The soul lives on.
Here, have it straight from the horse's mouth.
"A man is the sum of his memories. A Time Lord even more so." - The Fifth Doctor, The Five Doctors, 1983
More evidence? What's the first thing the Tenth Doctor tries to do in Born Again to convince Rose that he really is the Doctor she knows?
DOCTOR: Very first word I ever said to you. Trapped in that cellar...Surrounded by shop window dummies. Oh...such a long time ago. I took your hand...I said one word. Just one word...Run.
Right. He shows her that he has the same memories.
Now cast your minds back to S4E13. What does the Metacrisis Doctor say when he's trying to convince Rose he's the same man?
Therefore, according to the lore established by the show itself, his missing heart has no significance to who he is. He is the Doctor.
2. But he's a CLONE.
Okay, first of all, he's not. He's a biological metacrisis, the only one of his kind. He has only one heart, i.e, he is not biologically identical to the Time Lord Doctor.
Second, even if he was, he would STILL be the Doctor. As established above.
Third, we see a Martha clone in S4E4, The Sontaran Stratagem, and she is a far cry from what we see of Tentoo.
3. Alright so he's not a copy. He's still only A Doctor! He isn't Ten, he's Half-Donna!
So. We've established that what makes a man is his memories.
If the Doctor had Donna's memories, he wouldn't be the Doctor anymore--which makes him ending up with Rose redundant. Here's the silver lining though.
Tentoo has only ten's memories. His own memories.
'How do we know this?' you may ask. Let's examine the script of S4E13, Journey's End.
(The Daleks spin around on the spot.)
DALEK: Help me. Help me!
DONNA: And the other way.
NEW DOCTOR: What did you do?
DONNA: Trip switch circuit-breaker in the psychokinetic threshold manipulator.
NEW DOCTOR: But that's brilliant!
DOCTOR: Why did we never think of that?
DONNA: Because you two were just Time Lords, you dumbos, lacking that little bit of human. That gut instinct that comes hand in hand with planet Earth. I can think of ideas you two couldn't dream of in a million years.
Not very likely if Tentoo had her memories, right? This happens again, in the TARDIS Coral deleted scene:
DONNA: If you shatterfry the plasmic shell....you accelerate the growth power by fifty-nine.
DOCTOR & NEW DOCTOR: We never thought of that.
There we go. Canon evidence that Tentoo does not have Donna's mind/memory/thought process. Instead, we see his mind being constantly referred to as that of his Time Lord counterpart.
4. So what exactly happened during the 'metacrisis' then? Why was Donna unable to sustain the change whereas we're meant to assume Tentoo is doing fine?
What happened in JE was a two-way metacrisis.
Tentoo is a biological metacrisis, i.e his mind remained the same, but the regeneration energy in his hand picked up on Donna's human biology and grew a human body. (His body is PART human, as in the ageing part. He'll grow old, and never regenerate.)
Whereas, Donna's body remained the same; she got the Doctor's mind, becoming the DoctorDonna. She is essentially the Doctor AND Donna, at this point in time.
At one point in JE, there are three Doctors ("There's three of you?") because as proved earlier, anybody that has the Doctor's memories, is the Doctor. There is: the Time Lord Doctor (Ten), the Human Doctor (Tentoo) and the Doctor Donna.
Since Donna was a human, she could not sustain the Doctor's mind alongside her own, which is what led to it burning up. It was simply too much for a human brain to take.
Tentoo, as proven earlier, does not have Donna's mind.
5. But he talks funny.
We are shown the Doctor picking up her mannerisms. The Doctor regularly picks up things from people he travels with. He "imprints" on Rose as a newly regenerated being and is shown to pick up on his companions' accents very often.
On a more analytical level, the "Donna mannerisms" bit is obviously comedic relief in an extremely action packed episode (evidenced by the fact that he literally never sounds like Donna again throughout the episode) and isn't meant to be taken that seriously. In every other scene, he is played by David Tennant, exactly as ten.
Tentoo is the Tenth Doctor, but human. In every way that matters, he is exactly Ten.
6. But he's Season 2 Ten! He doesn't have any of the character development Time-Lord Ten does!
Erm. Yeah. You've got to watch the show again.
7. Alright. Okay. If Tentoo is the exact same man, he would get bored of a life on earth with Rose. They'd never last.
Now we've got to address a key aspect of the Doctor's arc. (Keep in mind, when I refer to the Doctor herein, I only mean the Ninth and Tenth, the ones written by Russell T. Davies.)
The Doctor always wanted to be human.
The Doctor, and the Tenth Doctor in particular, wants to be human. It’s peppered here and there throughout the first four seasons, but if you watch closely, there’s this underlying current of wistfulness in him (“I’ve never had a life like that”; “The one adventure I can never have”), not to mention the entirety of the Human Nature two parter.
I think to some extent Rose made him feel human, and it’s his alienness that’s the big barrier in their relationship. He doesn't allow himself to love her the way he wants to because of the difference in their life spans. Because he's a Time-Lord, and he has a responsibility to the Universe, and he can't be more selfish than he's being already, keeping her with him.
She makes him want to be human, to be loved and to be free to love her as he wants to. She even helps him forget, sometimes, that he isn't human. Remember his expression in The Stolen Earth when he sees her again? He is so glad to see her. In that moment, it doesn't matter that they can never be together, because Rose loves him so much she came back.
I'm reminded of a quote from Buffy The Vampire Slayer:
I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man.
And then bam. The almost-regeneration. The crushing reminder that he is intrinsically different from her species, from what he aches to be. Constant and selfish and free. Human.
Giving Rose up to his other self was the most selfless, loving thing he could’ve done. His other self, who is uninhibited, unburdened from the responsibilities of a Time Lord—can and will give Rose everything she deserves.
8. Just make Rose immortal then! Happy endings all around.
Now you might say, the earlier problem could be solved simply by making Rose immortal—she’d stay with the Doctor forever and she’d never have to leave him!
Here's the thing. Being immortal is Not Good.
A constant theme throughout seasons 1-4 is that immortality is not desirable. There is a constant motif of “living too long”, whether it be from Jack, the Face of Boe (cough), or the Doctor himself.
Things are only precious and meaningful because they end—the human way of doing things? Fast, and bright, and temporary? It’s the right way.
One of the many reasons the Doctor loves Rose is because she’s human—it’s a big part of why he’s attracted to her in the first place.
Besides, an immortal Rose would mean having to outlive her family, her friends, everyone she’s ever known—who else has experienced that? Oh, yeah. The Doctor. I can’t imagine him wanting her to go through the same thing under any circumstances.
9. Rose would never accept him. She wanted the adventure too, not just the Doctor.
This is the Rose who instantly felt connected to a parallel version of her parents. Remember, this Pete and Jackie had NO memory of her, and yet, she loved them. Tentoo IS Ten.
She also constantly refers to Tentoo as The Doctor, so I have faith in her figuring it out just fine.
As for the adventure, being human doesn't mean they're suddenly going to become accountants or work in childcare or something. (Looking at you, Jenny Colgan.)
Canon (Big Finish) tells us that they both work with UNIT/Torchwood, so we know that they're out there, defending Pete's World together.
'What about the TARDIS?' you may ask. Well, the writer considers it canon that the previously linked TARDIS coral scene did take place, so we can imagine that they're out there, exploring a new Universe.
But even if they didn’t have a TARDIS, we only need to look to S1E13, The Parting of the Ways, to understand that Rose cares about the Doctor above all else.
ROSE: But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed? Is that it?
MICKEY: It's what the rest of us do.
ROSE: But I can't!
MICKEY: Why, because you're better than us?
ROSE: No, I didn't mean that. But it was. It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away.
Of course Rose loves the TARDIS. She just loves the Doctor more.
More evidence? S2E8, The Impossible Planet:
DOCTOR: ....They were grown, not built. And with my own planet gone, we're kind of stuck.
ROSE: Well, it could be worse. This lot said they'd give us a lift.
DOCTOR: And then what?
ROSE: I don't know. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe.
Clearly, she doesn't mind settling down---not if it means staying with the Doctor.
DOCTOR: I promised Jackie I'd always take you back home.
ROSE: Everyone leaves home in the end.
DOCTOR: Not to end up stuck here.
ROSE: Yeah, but stuck with you, that's not so bad.
DOCTOR: Yeah?
ROSE: Yes.
Here's another conversation she has with Jackie in S2E12, Army of Ghosts:
JACKIE: No, but really. When I'm dead and buried, you won't have any reason to come back home. What happens then?
ROSE: I don't know.
JACKIE: Do you think you'll ever settle down?
ROSE: The Doctor never will, so I can't. I'll just keep on travelling.
"I can't." Not I don't want to, or I'm not interested---I can't. Rose is in love with the Doctor, and she knows at some level that the feeling is mutual. She also knows, he will never fully act on it.
But that's alright, because she loves him so much she's made her peace with it and with his limitations.
And instead of the typical female protagonist sacrificing things for her love interest trope, we get RTD flipping it on its head and letting Ten deliver the ultimate sacrifice, perform the ultimate act of love---letting Rose go.
By doing this, he's giving her everything he never could. It's beautiful. It's heartbreaking. It's the best love story ever put to television.
Let me conclude with this quote:
“Firstly, Rose is neither shallow nor stupid. She doesn’t settle for second best. She gets the person she fell in love with. And, as a bonus, he’s now able to spend the rest of his life with her, as she with him. Secondly, the very same person who experienced the heartbreak of losing Rose for the first time now experiences joy at the prospect of a lifetime in her company. In this full sense, the Doctor who lost, finally wins.” - Paul Dawson, Doctor Who and Philosophy.
10. But the Doctor and Rose ending up together is disgusting! They were platonic!
…..
Part 2 coming soon. I have loads more to say, but feel free to send in any other tentoo questions you want answered here. There's no such thing as too much meta!
#nothing brings me back to dw faster than tentoo hate#no one touches my boy#my meta#meta#rose tyler#tentoorose#tentoo#tenrose#tenth doctor#doctor who#ten x rose#tentoo x rose#timepetals#doctor x rose#ninerose#nine x rose
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My ask is maybe a bit silly, and would probably go in 'sanity check' category. It is about Max, and how he is perceived. If I understand correctly, it is said he is mad max, bad guy, aggressive… and similar. Now, I know teenagers are sometimes a bit crazy, and from what I read he was actually very badly treated by freaking adults, fellow drivers, when he first joined F1, so maybe then he was a bit aggressive, and it would be even understandable… but still it is difficult to even imagine that. Because Max I see (I am only following racing since last year) is nice, soft, funny, polite guy, still more looking like an innocent kid than an adult, even appearing naïve (unlike the sweet, adorable devil that is Charles!), and obviously so nice towards rookies (Oliver and Liam-who himself said it). So am I delusional and see what is not there or for some reason he is so vilified (I guess most coming probably from jealousy and Netflix crap…).
Oh and one additional observation, he always looks so much softer and somehow cuddlier and cuter on photos from his streaming at home… What do you think?
One final observation, then I will shut up Sometimes it seems to me that all the Lestappen moments and specila connection maybe come from the fact that when Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there. Because he went form father abuse to fellow drivers abuse, but when Charles came to F1, he had someone he could have a real relationship with, even if they fought and were a bit sulky almost teenagers still in the beginning, they got over it as they grow up. But Charles is his genuinely healthy, good, fun, friendly relationship. Having spent time as kids growing up of course also deepens the bond and friendship, but also mutual respect and understanding each other’s qualities. I don’t know if explained it well enough…
P.S. I LOVE your fics!!!!
Hi anon, and thank you so much for this ask! I don't think it's a silly ask at all.
All these "Mad Max", being too aggressive, being mean claims etc. stem from two things:
1. When Max made it into F1 almost 10(!) years ago, he was 17(!!) years old. He was a kid — a literal child. And he was a cocky, arrogant little shit at that, as any kid would be making their debut in such a prestigious sport at such a young age.
2. Max haters who will hate him forever, no matter what, no matter why. They don't even need a reason; they're just determined to hate him and will do so forever.
But the thing is, and his haters especially seem to love to ignore this fact, Max was seventeen years old when he made his F1 debut. He was, for all intents and purposes, a child. I watched Max make his F1 debut, and I watched and read the way he was viewed and the reception he received from his fellow drivers, the media, and fans alike. And I watched these grown-ass men already on the grid when Max joined welcome him by treating him like shit. These adults were so threatened by this kid who came into the sport without having to go through the same ranks almost every other F1 driver has to go through to get there, such as several years in F3 and F2 (Max only spent a year in F3 and skipped F2 altogether), that they did virtually nothing to make him feel welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was so fucking sad and infuriating, and I lost a lot of respect for many drivers because of it. And if I'm being honest, anon, that's what made me decide Max would be my favorite driver. I can be incredibly spiteful when I want to be, and watching Max get slammed and slandered from so many directions from the very beginning made me want to be very spiteful. That's what made me decide that I was going to support that kid like hell. And I haven’t looked back or regretted it since.
I cannot stress this enough, and I know I've said it so many times before already, but: Max Verstappen was a child when he made it into the world of F1. But he's not a child anymore, which a concerning amount of people seem to be blissfully and willfully ignorant to. Max has grown and matured so much in the years he's been in F1. And, like most other people, Max Verstappen the adult is not the same person as Max Verstappen the teenager, or Max Verstappen the child. And he hasn’t been anything like his 17-year old self in a long, long time. But this, of course, is something his haters will never accept or acknowledge.
I truly believe, from the very bottom of my heart, that Max is always so nice and welcoming towards rookies, always willing to lend a hand or giving them advice, always going out of his way to praise and support them, because practically no one ever did that for him when he was a rookie. And that speaks volumes about his character and the kind of man he has grown into since making his debut.
You're not delusional at all, anon, and having only followed F1 since last year means it's not surprising that you don't see the very outdated and frankly incredibly incorrect persona the people who dislike Max will always keep trying to convince themselves and others is still him. Because it isn’t — not even close. Practically every single person who has worked with or been around Max in the past few years all say the same thing: that he's funny, easy-going, and one of the genuinely kindest people on the grid. And that means a hell of a lot more than the opinions of people who have never and will never know him, and have made it their personal, sad mission to hate him. So you keep holding on to the impression you have of him, anon, because that is a far more accurate representation than the image some people are so hellbent of painting of him. (He’s definitely not naïve, though, not even close.)
And I absolutely agree: he looks even softer and cuddlier when he's streaming at home! I love streamer!Max so much.
"When Charles came to F1 Max finally had kinda his person there". <- You are spot on with this, anon! I've talked about the special bond I think these two share in the past, like in this post, and so have many others. (@tsarinablogs @valyrfia @thearchercore to name a few - highly recommend checking out their blogs if you haven’t already!) It truly seems like they have never, and will never, see any other driver as a big a rival as the other, and the numerous accounts of their karting days from people who got to watch them battle first-hand from such a young age definitely backs up that claim. And I think that's so beautiful, and it's one of the many, many reasons why these two are so dear to me, and why other F1 ships will never be able to come close.
P.S. That makes me so happy to hear, anon, thank you so, so much. 🥹❤️
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I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)
Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2)
That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3)
If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4)
Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)
The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.
I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.
But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.
Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.
And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.
In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!
#ask#personal#Anonymous#long post#t#aroace#ace#he cares about Vox at this point!#but that's. not really the same as respecting him.#anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very#how do I put this#“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever”#“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'”#“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)”#ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS#SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!!#sexuality#my writing#hazbin hotel#this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply#that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao#actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL
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hear me out: alejandro and ghost love triangle where the reader is dated one but one is also her ex, w the reader and during valeria’s interrogation, valeria possibly winding alejandro and ghost up with the reader?? angsty ending? thanks!
A Welcome Home Surprise
♡o。.✿ฺ Paring // Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader x Ex!Alejandro Vargas
♡o。.✿ฺ Summary // Now with Task Force 141 and forgetting Alejandro, you’re ready to start a new life with Ghost. But when you’re called into Las Almas, Valeria has just the surprise for you.
♡o。.✿ฺ (A/n) // You are speaking my mind anon! Thank you very much for requesting. Also I wasn’t sure how much angst you wanted so apologies of it isn’t as much as you wanted. Also ignore the two dots, Tumblr was being stubborn and kept removing the first paragraph so this was the only way to stop it.
♡o。.✿ฺ Word Count // 1.4k
♡o。.✿ฺ Content Warnings // Female reader, jealousy, angst, description of cheating, light sexual themes, swearing, violence, ooc Ghost and Alejandro, small mentions of death…
Part 1 | Part 2 (Coming soon!)
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Some people would ignore their ex whenever they see them sauntering out in public, then they’d find ways to silently tell the ex they are much happier without them and so on. Now you would’ve done any of those things if it was an ex but in this case, it wasn’t. You were part of the Task Force, you couldn’t act like a normal person and avoid their crush. You share a base with him, you are friends with his best friend, you have to face him like an adult, and like your relationship with Alejandro never happened but Alejandro really didn’t see it that way.
Now you wouldn’t call it jealousy… Soap enjoyed learning background information of soldiers from other soldiers, in this case, Alejandro and Rodolfo were talking about you and your time with them. Alejandro seemed to be dropping hints whenever Ghost was close or was listening in, there were certain times that Rodolfo had to tell Alejandro off for trying to say something stupid. You swear that if Rodolfo hadn’t, Ghost was ready to pummel him. Okay you will call it jealousy. Considering the amount of times Rodolfo had to apologize on behalf of Alejandro seemed to make Ghost even angrier.
You left the Mexican Special Forces because Price offered you a place in his Task Force, a place where you could get far away from Alejandro. It was just days when you ended your relationship with Alejandro and Rodolfo was sad to see you go but understanding. What ended your relationship with Alejandro? He cheated on you with Valeria. He swears that he was a mistake and that she came onto him, even though it was Valeria, she spoke the truth to you, it had been going on for almost three months. You didn’t bother to hear anymore words out of his mouth, you packed and left for Rodolfo’s place.
“It wasn’t just the three of us.” Valeria spoke aloud, proudly and without a single ounce of shame, “Your girlfriend was with us.” Looking at you and Ghost, “I remember the part when Alejandro announced their relationship to us. I couldn’t keep my excitement to myself and continued to talk.”
“That was years ago Valeria.” You spoke, arms remaining crossed and standing beside Ghost.
“Sure it was years but we all made bets… Who was gonna propose? How long would they last? How many children will they have?!” Valeria laughed loudly, “Can you guess which one I made?”
Alejandro could only shake his head as he thought of something stupid, it took Rodolfo glaring at him to not say it, “(Y/n)’s right, it’s been years now, we both moved on.”
“Oh you’re calling her (Y/n) now?” Valeria points at Ghost, “I thought only he could do that?”
“Many people have the privilege of calling me by my first name.” You corrected her.
“Like Rodolfo? Just what you were doing over at his place?”
“(Y/n) needed a friend, she was there so I can help her.” Rodolfo answered swiftly, making Valeria scoff.
“A friend? Just how many people have you slept with?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m just saying, no need to over react.” Valeria leans back on her chair, one leg over the other, “Tell me Fantasma… Does she moan his name? Does she beg for Alejandro?” (Ghost.)
“Valeria, eso es suficiente.” (Valeria, that’s enough.) Rodolfo tries to stop her.
“How do you make her feel in bed? Are you better than Alejandro?”
“Valeria!”
“Maybe I should try you myself!”
“Valeria!” Rodolfo and Valeria are in each other’s faces, he takes a few steps back and leans up against the wall.
Graves pushes Valeria back to her seat, “Everyone out.” He orders.
It took you a matter of minutes to get lost within the base, but you weren’t alone. Ghost remained by your side, silently as you two found yourselves in your old office. Your fingers grazed the desk as you then picked up the framed photo that was still there. You pulled the photo out and began ripping it to pieces, leaving the mess on the desk.
“Alejandro can pick up the pieces himself.” You mutter, taking a seat in your old chair as Ghost remains standing, “And if you’re gonna ask me If I’m alright, No I am not even close to being okay.”
“Wasn’t thinking about it.”
“But I saw it.” Your vision becomes blurry as tears form in your eyes, “We shouldn’t be talking about this now, we need to find that missile.”
As you stand and walk towards the door, Ghost grabs your arm, “We are talking about this. (Y/n), you are not okay. Valeria brought up your past relationship, I can see why that may upset you but that doesn’t give you the option to shut me out.”
You open your mouth to apologize but the door opens suddenly, Alejandro standing there with his eyes wide open, “We’re in the middle of looking for a missile and you two are here fucking?!”
“Piss off Vargas!” You pull your arm from Ghost release and push Alejandro back, “What the hell are you doing here anyways?”
“Should I be asking you that?”
“If you have no reason to continue this conversation then we’re leaving.” Ghost interrupts you two, “Let’s go (Y/n).”
“You’re not going anywhere with her!” Alejandro pushes Ghost back roughly.
Ghost doesn’t push back, he remains still, “I still can’t believe that you still can’t get that you and (Y/n) broke up, it’s done, you two are over. Get that through your thick skull.”
“You think you know (Y/n) better than me, pendejo? I’ve known her since we were kids, I’ve been with her through her toughest times.”
“And look where that ended up. You broke your promise and didn’t stay faithful to her, Rodolfo has to warn you not to do anything stupid, and the woman you cheated on her with still doesn’t love you.” Ghost scoffs, “Look around you Alejandro, does she seem happier with you or without you?”
“That’s-” You’re cut off, taken aback as Alejandro manages to tackle Ghost to the ground. You stare at them for a soldier minute, watching them struggle against each other, hearing both curse each other out, hearing their fists make contact with each other’s faces.
You pull your pistol out and fire it once, the loud ringing noise of the gun makes them stop, “The hells the matter with you?!” You shout, shoving the pistol back in its holder. Ghost kicks Alejandro off him, “I can’t even say I’m surprised at you Alejandro!”
“Surprised?!” Alejandro shouts back, standing to his feet.
“You’re going to get disciplined for this.” You warn.
“¡Te estaba defendiendo!” (I was defending you!)
“Defending me?! That was all about your damn ego!” You help Ghost to his feet, “You weren’t even close to defending me! It’s all about Alejandro getting what he wants and treating me like I’m your property! Get the hell out of here! Go!” Before you could turn your attention back to Ghost, you make sure Alejandro is completely gone.
You cup his face, “I would lift your mask but you aren’t safe in the open.” You spoke softly, “Does it hurt?”
Ghost shakes his head, “He did get in some punches. I could use some help.”
“I would love that but…”
“I knew something was wrong.” Ghost mumbles.
“I think we need a break. Looking for the missiles is one thing but with my ex getting in your face, it shows that he’s going to continue his act.” You hug Ghost, “I don’t want him tearing this up.”
Ghost returns the hug slowly, hesitating whether to tighten the hug or not, “I understand but know that I’ll be waiting for you and even when you’re not ready, I’ll still be here.” You knew what he truly meant, with Ghost’s background, you don’t blame him for having difficulty saying the words I love you.
You understand his actions, his acts of service to show his love to you. You don’t need Simon to say, “I love you Simon, I always will.” Ghost would endure the pain in his heart when you moved from his grip, just a few seconds longer, but he knew that you’d come back, he just hoped that the battlefield wouldn’t take it away.
© Intoxicated-Chan, I do not allow my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or put on any other platform without permission.
#x reader#x female reader#cod alejandro#cod modern warfare#cod mw#cod mw22#alejandro vargas x you#alejandro vargas#alejandro vargas x reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#ghost mw2#cod ghost#cod soap#cod rodolfo#cod valeria#cod graves
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After his Shadow || Jeon Jungkook x Fem Reader
♡ Pairing: Athlete!Jeon Jungkook x fem reader
♡ Word count: 2.6 k
♡ Genre: Angst (m), toxic relationship.
♡ summary:
He is the most loved athlete in Korea, and you are just his girlfriend until after four years you decide to leave him and is the best and at the same time the worst thing you could have ever done.
♡ a/n: I hope you like it, anon that requested this piece i made it angsty bc that is the vibe i got, idk but I maybe write a part 2 please comment if you want.
PART 2 IT'S UP
There is no feeling to describe how dysfunctional your personal relationship with Jeon Jungkook is and how it casts so many shadows on your own personal demons. You can barely recognize yourself even when you are detoxicating from all the shit you had to put up in the past 4 years. After breaking up with him you supposed to feel free but instead a sense of dread crept out behind you every day leaving you with lack of sleep and shakings all over your body, or as they call it anxiety.
You’d been hiding from everyone, deep rooted in your grandfather lake house which you had the spare key, that’s where you had been laying in bed for the past week and a half, just answering your mom’s text and eating less to not have the necessity of going out for groceries. Yes, you were far from Korea but you know that they will find you, they always find you.
The press, the obsessive fans or just about anyone that follows up the sports stars in the world of football, because Jeon Jungkook is big, more than that he is a superstar well loved by the public especially, his fans. He is very young but also very talented and has too much fame and power to the point he is almost untouchable. In his own country he is almost a god, no Korean football player can dream to become as big as him, whenever he is outed somewhere the traffic literally stops while crowds of people gather following his pace, after all he is the team leader who brought South Korea their first world cup, his team mates were now globally famous because of this and after the absolute pandemonium that was taking the glory to his country Jeon Jungkook became an athlete legend.
Every girl would throw herself at his feet, so everyone was shocked when he publicly announced his relationship with you four years ago, you had no idea what were you doing back them, all you can do now is regret your naivety. You had some idea that your new boyfriend was wealthy but everything progressed fast, too fast, to realize the extend of his fame. You suddenly were kissing for the first time and next thing you know is him posting on his insta that you two are boyfriend and girlfriend and then it hit you. You blame yourself for not google him before accepting going out with him after a casual party in a bar, it was so stupid but not more than the face the press photographed the day after the post, you were cluelessly walking down the street trying to grab some coffee and then some people run to your side with cameras in their hands, flashing lights all over, such a confusing situation that you ran back to your apartment and demand explanations from him.
From there it was a wild ride, crazy calls from every person you knew, your 3-digit following account rising up to the six digits on the same day, Jungkook stopping by so casually that it must have raise an alarm inside you but it didn’t, it fucking didn’t.
So that brought your path to what is your life in this moments, a full grown women hiding under the blankets deleting every picture on her phone, dried eyes, no tears just dark circles and a undecipherable expression. Suddenly you came across a blurry picture from way back, cheeks fuller and a bubbly smile, it was cute at the moment but the people had tore apart every single detail of your face that you can’t longer find anything nice about that moment of your life. That’s why you didn’t bother to check any of your socials, the aftermath of the breakup was too ugly and you were the villain, you were always the villain.
Because Jeon Jungkook was Korea’s national treasure, not only nationals but his fans all over the world would defend him before anything and anyone, fame was a weapon that could be used against you and he realized that very soon into the relationship, you did something that made him upset? He can post some pathetic tweets leaving some hints. You try to push back from his ‘love’ and ‘protection’? he misses goals at an important match and points out to press after that he has been feeling ‘emotionally unstable’. God forbids you ask to take some time from the relationship because he would cancel a match making a social media circus and you being guilt tripped and publicly shamed back to him.
All of that just to everyday being gaslighted by everyone in how lucky you truly are for being his girlfriend, it was a sick joke.
“And what the fuck is this? Are you out of your fucking mind, Yn?” Jungkook yelled at you while he showed you a picture of you in your best friend’s boyfriend birthday, you had know him since uni, your best friend and him were engaged, you had known him for so many years that you greeted him with a hug and that was exactly what you were doing in the picture, but the angle, oh that damn angle made you look like you were kissing each other.
“You tell me you are in a trip with your friends and this is what you fucking do? I look like the biggest fool in the news!” Jungkook sentenced while you look at him with concern.
“I was just hugging him!” you fight back, his eyes made an imponent statement at your direction.
“Why are you hugging another man? How is that proper, tell me?” his ironic tone made an echo through your head.
“You really baffle me, I hugged him because he is my friend and because I wanted to? Who you think you are to control me?” you snapped back at his rhetoric but he didn’t seem pleased at your response.
“You rub your tits in another man’s chest and when I don’t like that you are the one who gets mad? You truly are something…” Jungkook scoffed “Can you see that you and your so called ‘friend’ is making me look bad?”
“This is so fucking tiring, what are we exactly discussing here? I told you I was hugging a friend end of conversation”
“Is that so? You don’t care then? When people laugh in my face and later call you a slut?” Jungkook said bitterly, he was mocking you, because he knew how things worked in his world.
“You know this is exactly why I think we don’t make sense, you seem to take pleasure in making me doubt myself and making everyone dislike me!” you can feel the tears wanting to come out but have to be strong.
“You need to know your place, Yn, you know you are in the wrong when the crowd it’s calling you out, if they are calling you a slut then…”
You hit him across his face, it was no use because your strength could not really hurt him, but it did caught his attention.
“it’s not fair, and never will be, they are on your side always and you know that!” you exclaimed clenching your teeth, Jungkook at the sight of your frustration he smiled.
“that’s right it’s not fair, knowing that information and you still dare to slap me? Don’t you know my next match is in two hours I have to leave this apartment in a few minutes and when they see the pictures leaving this apartment upset, a mark on my cheek and later a low performance on the match, what they will think of you?” Jungkook asked still smiling, you gasped in horror.
“Yeah exactly, now apologize to me and I will consider to put a mask when I go outside” there he was being in control again, he had you cornered, he made you small.
“I’m sorry” you murmured, his hands grabbed your face making you look up to him, his eyes scanning yours, he leaned over and kissed your lips, you move your move lazily corresponding to his more passionate kiss.
“That’s right, baby, I know you are sorry”
You rolled over bed and kept deleting all you could, the memory has left you with a bitter taste in the mouth that quickly made you nauseous you run into the bathroom to throw up, while you wash up you look at your pathetic reflection in the mirror the same pathetic expression of that time when you actually tried to left him thanks to his very public indiscretion.
The aftermath of all that mess is threatening you with a head ache but the mind still goes to that specific place.
“How dare you, huh?! You bark at any man that glances at my direction but you go to a fucking yacht party kissing every model on sight!” you throw the tabloid at his face, he looks up with his big doe eyes, parting his mouth like he was just exposed without any warning, he blinked a few times perplexed “You pathetic scum I should had neve-“
“I know you are mad” he simply said and you can feel your eye twitching in disbelief. “Can you calm down a bit”
“Calm down?!”
“Look I’m sorry okay, it won’t happen again it was a stupid mistake” he brushed off the whole situation like it was nothing and you were starting to lose it.
“Mistake? Are you fucking kidding me? There are videos, Jungkook, you seem pretty fucking chill while those bitches are sitting on your lab…”
“Yn…”
“Then you kissed them like it was the most fucking natural thing to do…”
“Oh my god, stop, it’s not that big of a deal, I apologized!”
“And you expect me to accept it?”
“Those girls nobody knows them, but you are my girlfriend, aren’t you?” he asked with an irritated expression.
“I don’t understand you, Jungkook, I really don’t, let’s just break up that way you can kiss all the models you want” you responded completely tired of his bullshit.
“You are still mad, I see” he said standing up and walking towards you.
“Don’t go near me!” you warned him but he keeps coming close until he is in front of you then he takes your hips and pulls you down while he takes a seat in the couch, you end up in his thigh.
“I know baby, you must be angry” said affirming you in his leg, you were only wearing a skirt so your underwear was the only barrier against his muscular thigh, you got nervous. “You don’t have anything to be jealous about, you want this don’t you? You saw me in the video doing this and now you want me to take you in that way?” he asked looking at your eyes and your lip trembling he grabbed your hips and move you hitting that precious spot making you pant.
“that’s right baby” Jungkook said an erection forming in his shorts “I know you want to move” he said to you with a cheeky smile you closed your eyes and nodded you felt how he spank you with dry sound, the wetness now lubricating Jungkook’s thigh, he always looked good in uniform.
“how do you call me?” he asked while pulling up his shirt showing his abs and taking out his growing cock jerking it a few times, he spanked your ass once again when you didn’t respond.
“…Daddy” you managed to say between moans, now fully moving your hips in his thigh while he jerks up, you did not last much longer and while you had your orgasm the grin that Jungkook gave you was enough to sink you after your high, back into humiliation.
“You fucking slut, ugh you’re so hot” he said between his heavy pants, his seed spilled all over his abdomen soon enough when you were washing up in the shower, he turned you over to wash your hair with shampoo then he suddenly whispered in your ear:
“While I’m right here taking care of you I still can’t bother to remember those girls names or faces” he said while he continued to massage your head “ you have nothing to worry about” you closed your eyes trying to believe in his words, that’s all you wanted in that moment.
Your stomach growled screaming for food, you walked to the kitchen making the laziest thing you could and swallowing it, then back to bed, that has been your routine the past week, you felt disappointed in yourself, at the end of the day that’s what Jungkook has done to you, he left you so empty.
Because of both of your natures your relationship continued to be unstable and the public was right there to enjoy the circus, every single time.
It didn’t matter how many more indiscretions Jungkook had, the media crucified you no matter what, not attending to his matches was more than enough to enrage his crazy fans. You didn’t have the basic right to be mad whenever he doesn’t do his part.
Jungkook just likes to take and take from you, his jealousy was a problem but his cheating was not.
His sexual needs mattered but your emotional needs were ignored. He acted like the perfect boyfriend in public just to treat you like you don’t exist every time his friends call him on the weekends.
Being in a relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a state of constant confusion. And it all did not make any sense on why he kept insisting in continuing the relationship, he would do anything, get mad, act upset to the public, put at risk an important match, even cry whenever you tried to bring up your need of wanting out, but with his actions Jungkook has made very clear he wasn’t done toying with you, and you had no say on it.
At the end you hit the bottom after four years of this so called ‘relationship’ and once you snapped back out of your submission you did not look back. Took your stuff and while he was busy in another freaky party in Japan, you flew back home taking serious steps into going incognito. Yes, Jungkook called you like a thousand times but nothing that a block can’t resolve. You announced him your break up in a letter that you send him via text before blocking him, then you made it public via twitter simply putting:
Jungkook and I are not in a relationship anymore, please respect my privacy.
And after that you had been trying to hide from the rest of the world, you had a vague notion of how the rest of world reacted at least in the first days, Jungkook fought with a photographer outside of a bar completely drunk, he made very alarming tweets, it was all over the news, but you did not know the details or bother to dig deeper, his fans almost throwing a celebration party but at the same time blaming you for everything wrong that is happening to Jungkook.
You did not judge yourself on how you ended things with him either, you were kinda running away, but it was the best option in where he didn’t get to manipulate you or black mail you.
At the end of the day you were the only person who can pick yourself up from the ground, and make whatever you want your life to be, and with Jungkook out of the way, who can stop you?
There is only one way up, right?
#jungkook x reader#athlete! jungkook#bts x reader#bts imagines#jeon jungkook#jungkook bts#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#bts fic#bts jk#jungkook angst#angst jungkook x reader#bts angst#bts smut#bts fanfic
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