#this guy has suffered so much. hell be fine tho. i love him too much to make his suffering endless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegoldendoorknob · 1 year

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Let me just drop my opinion on every monster hunter monster I’ve fought so far here now that it’s 12am oops

Apceros/Aptonoth- Underrated as far as herbivore fodder goes, they'll almost guarantee you one raw meat when you carve them, and really that's the only reason you would attack them.

Bullfango/Bulldrome/Kestodon/Rhenopolos- Charging monsters... I only like them better when they attack monsters too. Otherwise they have that nitpick I have with predators and prey ganging up on you for no reason.

Cephalos/Cephadrome- First sandshark, I'd accept them, but Genprey do the same stun-bite and are a lot less annoying about it

Feyline- I love them in every game but 3. I have no idea what is their DAMAGE in 3...

Genprey/Gendrome- Speaking of, an ok prey

Hornetaur- My experience stems from them biting my ankles in bonepiles, I don't appreciate their 'tude

Ioprey/Iodrome- Second-most boring prey

Kelbi/Anteka- Horns horns horns. It would be cool if a proper monster of some kind used those hard to track jumpswaitaminute

Melynx- Cute cats that are pretty dodgeable unless you're mid-fight

Mosswine- I like this guy- I think he's based off a yokai or something

Velociprey/Velocidrome- THE bird wyvern. Deceptively hard with their crowding- which puts them at the top for me.

Vespoid- Stun, stun, stun...

Basarios- What a cool guy on paper, has probably fathered more monster rigs than you think. I only like fighting him with hammer tho.

Diablos- Our favorite herbivore! I like the high damage to enforce dodging their slow and telegraphed moves

Gravios- Papa Basarios, I like him less though. Them and basarios have weird... flesh feet...

Gypceros/Yian Kut-Ku- I hate them both, but Gypceros narrowly wins because it's flash bang is an extra layer

Khezu- Low-Rank flesh BULLY.

Plesioth- I'm suffering stockholm syndrome for the meme, but there is no denying just how much their hipcheck makes them stand out alone, only fighting a more fair Deviljho hipcheck for dominance. Also, the only proper fish-wyvern for a while...

Rathalos- Flagship darling. Earlier games look like hell, though I appreciate his tail always dragging on the ground no matter what iteration you're fighting.

Rathian- The fairer Rathalos. Rise seems to have put more of her moveset into grounded Rathalos, which makes sense, though I wish she had more oomph outside of variants

Original Fatalis (Generations)- GU is the only game I barely fought them in. Outside of it's lore, the fight didn't seem much to write home about. Their variants on the other hand...

Kirin- Pony bastard. Despite everyone's claims, it seems like it always had a learnable method to it's madness like any other monster. I'm willing to wager the majority of it's grief stems from the small pool of electric monsters players have to worry about in the lategames

Lao-Shan Lung (GU)- Precious mountain baby. One of the first sieges, and first DPS races. I would probably have hated him if it wasn't for the fact his Generations bombtrack is pretty fun

Azure Rathalos- Did you ever want Rathalos to fly in the air more? Of course you do.

Silver Rathalos/Gold Rathian- Heavily dependant on game. I feel like I had the most fun running IG against their world variants, though

Black Diablos (World)- MHW:IB Diablos is crazy ok. I'm fine with it just constantly comboing into burrowing, because it encourages rare item usage in 5th Gen. It's dangerous sand waterfall trick in LR is something I actually WANT it to do in MR, because it'll stop it's combo

Blango/Blangonga- My friends are so tired of hearing me bring them up, but they are straight up the 'easy rajang' the series can use to replace him

Ceanataur/Shogun- Not fun to fight. His deviant, though...

Conga/Congalala- Hell YES. Only good monke, we need more fartmonkey. His apex was unexpectedly tough

Giaprey/Giadrome- The worst drome. I just... they have nothing.

Hermitaur/Damiyo- Now this fight is fun- It's a more engaging hard-shell basarios style fight with clear openings

Popo- Hey Tigrex...

Remobra- I hate them, but do I hate them more than rhenopolos? It's a hard tiebreaker.

Rajang/Furious- MH's favorite monkey. A fight that's tricky to learn, but a consistent rhythm when you understand it, similar to Deviljho. World is definitely one of the hardest variations, but I also think it raised new hunter's expectations of future Rajang a little too much.

Chameleos- Cool little guy. Shame about the item theft

Kushala Daora- Out of the Elder Trio, I like Kushala the most. Would I like fighting it before the IG? Eeeh, probably not.

Lunastra (World)- Pretty novas and flame effects, but an annoyance to deal with in-game. Her wingbeat fire attacks are neat, but World beat that as far as the special effects department goes

Teostra- A more involved Lunastra, but prior to Gen 5 he was a lava-camping asshole. I like his little blast-clicks.

Akantor/Ukanlos (Gen)- He's a uh, big guy alright. I'm kind of surprised at how basic his fight is- though I feel as though Tetsucabra and Zamtrios probably stole some of his stuff in hindsight

Tigrex- I just can't understand this fight, I know I won't either. I've at least figured out how to make them charge less, and how to tell if they're breaking out the crazy charges

Lavasioth- Cool fish, lava camper >:(

Nargacuga- This wyvern on the other hand- I got used to them, kind of. Phases are clear, and once you understand their openings and how they combo, the fights gradually get more smooth.

Yian Garuga- The only dangerous bird wyvern. I'd respect it's crown, but fuck em. I never liked that shoebill skeleton

Baggi/Great- My boy!!! A pretty blue, a pretty pompadour, and they aren't shy of putting you to sleep.

Giggi- Does a good job at scaring 3U first-timers

Jaggi/Jaggia/Great- I'm not impressed by base jaggi, but Jaggia and Great are pretty safe and easy to learn. I appreciate it when a Jaggi helps me carve faster, but the Jaggia can be little nuiscances

Ludroth/Royal- Water Jaggia. Royal's ok in his water fight, cool glowing eyes. Gets demoted to easier shoebill status past 3 :(

Uroktor/Agnaktor- I misname Agnaktor for Akantor all the time, god help us all. Another lava camper, so... (The hints of Najarala burrowing are here, though...)

Barioth- Apparently famously replaced Nargacuga. I like him less, because his tail swipe extends far enough to catch plesioth's hip-check

Barroth- First brute wyvern!!!! I like his lore more than I like his fight.

Deviljho (Gen)- Classic pickle. There's so much more involved with his gen fight, it unfortunately blows his World fight out of the water. Despite that, I still love new interpretations of the pickle fight

Gigginox- Now here's a gross wyvern fight. Drops babies down to join the fight and better mess with you, and has counters that don't narrow down to 'fuck you, lightning'

Gobul- For the original Nibelsnarf, his fight wasn't too involved.

Lagiacrus (3)- It's fight was so much more involved in the water! It has enough switchups that it doesn't become boring, unlike its land iteration.

Qurupeco- It's gimmick is okay, but if you strip the top layer of a 2-on-1 fight off, Qurupeco is kind of boring

Uragaan- No, I don't like this crimson chin. Will lava-camp on a dime

Alatreon (GU)- I ended up fighting them because I heard all the drama about their World variant. It wasn't really a fair fight; I came into the HR with MR armor, but it was fun to see all the moves they converted later in their original form.

Alatreon (World)- Speaking of drama... If I was playing World as it updated, I would probably have hated them as much as the rest of the fandom does. However, I bought World a solid year after it's updates ended, and I knew about his fight in the distant lategame. I had the advantage of quietly preparing a gearset for them, and ultimately found them pretty fun if not stressful on that DPS race after the hornbreaks. Conceptually its pretty interesting too, you can see every elemental elder dragon that bled into Alatreon's moveset, from Velkhana's ice beam to Kirin's thunder grids, it's all there to play I-Spy with. They had a good idea- the playerbase largely never cared for elemental damage over that affinity meta I'm so tired of, but in practice it was pretty horrible. Despite this- I still wish for a bigger elemental-focused meta in the future, or at least something to combat the hyperoffensive affinity/damage builds copypasted across every weapon.

Ceadeus- A slow, Lao-shen'y dps water fight. Such a cool whale monster, though it seems everyone agrees that they shine the most once you reach the sunken city in Area 3

Wroggi/Great- Tied for my favorite bird wyvern, just an angry little tree-frog with a good armorset

Arzuros/Lagombi- Mmm, Conga did it better. I do like the bear's silly honey steal, though

Duramboros- HHHhhhhhhhhhh Banbaro did better than you

Nibelsnarf- More interesting than Gobul, tbh. You're more likely to fish them up on a stun without retries, and the barrels are also easier to place against them. Miserable without items

Volvidon- Lagombi but it doesn't put you to sleep. Being annoying is at least engaging

Zinogre/Stygian- The fight I always feel like I'm on top of until I actually fight them. It's not that I never learned their timing, or have low element resist. I just feel like I end up making more mistakes than advantages whenever I fight them.

Amatsu (GU)- Absolute bonkers fight once they enrage. There's a lot of wiggling around before that, though..

Brachydios- No

Ivory Lagiacrus- The landstranded Lagi, without the water, it's moveset is unfortunately pretty basic....

Lucent Nargacuga (R)- I feel like it's 3U fight should be more engaging- once you figure out to watch it's eyes in Rise, you notice it's pretty close to a basic Narga fight until the tail gets powered-up

Savage Deviljho (World)- The dragonblight pool attack is really cool!!! He just doesn't feel like Jho without his deadly pins is all

Kecha Wacha- So begins the interesting starting bosses in 4U. There's a lot here that got used in Bishaten later, but I feel like Kecha wins out once he moves to the vines. Goes double the speed if you let them swing circles around you

Najarala- Snake! A cool gimmick with the sonic scales, good armor, and just a really neat skeleton never to be used again. I guess my only gripe is getting your footing back if they bump into you with that coiling trap

Nerscylla- Honestly, arguably one of my favorite monsters. She's so fast, always keeps to areas where she can speed around on the webbing, and you have the added bonus of trying to cut the webshots to knock her off-balance. All of that combined with those giant punishing mandibles of hers whenever she gets a KO on you makes her a really fun fight

Seltas- The first boss of 4U. I find him more interesting than his queen, but I'll admit his attacks are pretty basic vespoid-level attacks if he's not clawing at you

Seltas Queen- I would like them more if they just didn't look like... that? I like the tail, I like that she parties up with Seltas (and even kills them if she's low on health). But I don't like anything else about her design-wise, and her fight isn't much more interesting. If I wanted to get charged at with little thought, I'd rather fight Tigrex

Tetsucabra- Tetsu is.... okay. I have armor grinding fatigue, but their new attacks are appreciated. Their MR fight sucks though, I'm tired of charge-spamming monsters

Zamtrios- Swiss-army knife shark. There's a little too much to keep up with in their fight, but I'd rather fight them than Tetsu

Gore Magala/Chaotic- Hot damn. This baby can fit so much Frenzy and lore in them. A fight that forces you to plan carefully, but fight efficiently. Is heavily punishing of small mistakes in 4U- deals a little too much damage in rage than I'm comfortable with, but overall just a pretty solid fight (Ignoring those wing hitzones in LR...)

Shagaru Magala (GU)- I felt like they were impossible when I first fought them. A true formed Magala that really puts your focus to the test. Its hind legs are its only safespot, but that won't stop it from slamming you whenever you get too comfortable. Those + shaped blasts are still an attack I mention in other hunts

Raging Brachydios (World)- A flashy fight, but that's all Brachydios ever got going for them. I already didn't like brachydios, raging just gives you more things to rage about

Seregios- Love them! Its falcon-style talon and sweeping attacks are fun to hunt around, and it's speed is something Rise was in dire need of down the road. Now if I could just fight them outside of the desert, lol

Maccao- Another interesting take on the bird wyvern fight. I like its crazy kick-charges, though the attacks outside of those I'm not too enthusiastic about

Moofah- : )

Astalos/Boltreaver- A cool Fated 4 member! Of the four I unfortunately like Astalos the least (and I'm disappointed in his Rise fight being more like his HR than his MR fight...), but it remains a valuable member of its team. More interesting takes on bugs like this, please

Gammoth/Elderfrost- A simple fight initially, I like her MR fight more for having options where her safezones used to be. I don't think there's any way you could get closer to the hunts of prehistory than the Mammoth itself

Glavenus/Hellblade- There's no avoiding my bias for my favorite all-time monster next to Bazelgeuse. There's almost no real-world connections to really be found in this dinosaur, but I think that contributes to why I like them so much. It's just interesting to me how they balance out its breath attacks with that sharp tail, even having the ai pull feints based on your positioning with some attacks. Learning the safespots on those tail swings is one of the more cooler things to pick up

Mizutsune/Soulseer- A surprisingly fast fight, I appreciate Mizu's weasel war dances, lol. Like Nargacuga in that its fight is tricky to learn, but once you pick it up, you can come up with an answer to everything. Soulseer might be easier, but that parry mechanic is just very interesting, and a fun spin on the actual fighting moves rather than reskinning its element

Malfestio- Arguably the most interesting bird wyvern, though I'm willing to bet it's stolen from Hypnocatrice's kit. I like its little head turn around as a creative way to pounce you. I think it's only real failing is the jester aesthetic kind of getting in the way of a proper owl fight

Silverwind Nargacuga- A pretty interesting deviant, I just hate its guts lol

Rustrazor Ceanataur- I don't like Shogun, but this guy's ok. Mostly because he sharpens with Glavenus's skull and borrows their attacks, lol

Nakarkos- Bone octopus!! I wasn't impressed by their fight initially, but I really warmed up to it once I started fighting their MR version with the giant lasers and more interesting skeleton head trickery

Ahtal Ka- I love this bug. They combined the body of a praying mantis with the silkweaving of a caterpillar to make a fun mech fight where for once, the bug towers over you. All of this complete with a pretty gold carapace, and a lotus themed weakspot all culminating into the symbolism of the wheel on her back at the end is all very cool.

Valstrax (GU)- Holy Shit It's Mega-Latias. Jokes aside, I love how fast he is in generations. Like Narga and Mizu, it's all a matter of learning how to maneuver around that speed, and where all his tells and openings are at. Once you master his fight, the win feels all the better at the end

CG Valstrax/Risen (Rise)- Wirebugs? No problem. Valstrax wasn't the hero Rise asked for, but he was the hero they deserved. To bring back a monster not only faster than you in GU, but continue to remain faster than you in Rise, the fastest monster hunter game to date? Is really, really impressive to me. I mostly like all of the changes made to his bullet phases- they may be dodgeable, but Valstrax will use those evade openings to change to jet, charge, zoom around and generally outmaneuver you for slipping up. And unlike GU, you can't cheese the ambush with an area change, you HAVE to master the dive if you want to survive it solo. A dive that becomes reasonably harder to time when Valstrax continues to shoot at you from the sky in Risen form. He's just a very fun and solid elder fight, easily one of my favorites

Gajalaka- Would you believe me if I said these cats were at least more consistant than the felynes in 3? As long as you put yourself between the Gajas and the monster, they usually won't come up as a problem

Girros/Great- An interesting snake-lizard boss, though World can't fool me. There's a Royal Ludroth in there, and just like old RL, he's pretty easy to juke

Jagras/Great- I love their gluttony gimmicks. I think being a little more like Zamtrios could've made them more interesting. Maybe even incorporate some Congalala in there, where the food he eats determine statuses behind his bites.

Anjanath/Fulgur- A good rex! I like the cooling fins they have for when they get too hot, that little sit that they do when resting in Rise, and that fur covering their top half to make them more interesting than the average dinosaur

Bazelgeuse/Seething (World)- The best monster, I'm sorry I don't make the rules. As a fun fact- the exploding scales work like hardened sweat, so it's like just shedding is dangerous. Another weirdly improbable but loveable monster, I think one of my favorite aspects of its fight is just how much Seething throws its weight around to tackle you

Dodogama- A friend : ) a more interesting Jagras, as it stands currently

Jyuratodus- They made Lavasioth boring. How could you make Lavasioth more boring??? At least it's similar to a lungfish, I guess.

Kulu-Ya-Ku- Bird Up is the best Kulu. Whether it be eggs, pots, flintstone, FFXIV crystals, this guy's got it covered. My only wish is for Kulu to be more of a coward in later titles. It's an egg thief, it already has no honor

Legiana/Shrieking- A stylish, iceborne Rathalos (and maybe even a hint of Seregios). The regular fight is superior in my book, Shrieking flies a little too much and loves to roleplay Qurupeco in its spare time.

Odogaron/Ebony- The first of the garons, I love them. A dedicated corpse-eater that sacrificed any fur or scales for that tough meaty hide, I think they mesh quite perfectly in the veil. I just love how much they do those curving attacks, they're fun to dodge and punish

Paolumu/Nightshade- Ugly little bald wrinkly heads. Unfortunately Pukei and even their father Khezu wins me over more. Nightshade blowing the sleeping gas around is kind of neat, though. I don't think we see much of that outside of attacks like Rise Chameleos..

Pukei-Pukei/Coral- Speaking of, the more interesting not!khezu fight. I'm glad Pukei gets buffs based on the food he eats, though Coral wins me out on its moves in general.

Radobaan- Damn, they made Uragaan actually fun, and all they had to do was make him more fragile to partbreaks. I love how he's got a diablos skull on his back

Tzitzi-Ya-Ku- Diet gypceros but boring :(

Tobi-Kadachi/Viper- I actually don't like Tobi all that much compared to Odogaron. I guess it's just the stunspam

Vaal Hazak/Blackveil- Chefs kiss just a really cool elder dragon ok. Not only is it made with clear parts taken from girros, not only does it seem to have clear relations to kushala when you break it's hide revealing the metallic skin underneath, but it can also grow a living spore colony off its hide as well. A cool elder dragon, with a slightly annoying personal status effect packed with it

Nergigante/Ruiner- Porcupine boy. I think I would like his design more if it wasn't so weirdly abdominal-heavy? I have trouble imagining how this guy walks around normally... Anyways, I like the pressure Nergi makes to break his spikes before the divebomb, it's a nice tease to the focus on the later dps-races

Zorah Magdaros- Cool snapping turtle mountain, I think it's a suitable comparison to Lao Shen in the tempered fights. It's just unfortunate the only two required fights are so story-heavy that everyone assumes you'll be spending 3 hours sitting around, when their tempered fights actually cut it pretty close even for MR gear

Xeno'jiiva- The new elders in world are just winners, as far as I'm concerned. But while Xeno looks really cool with the translucent skin and the laser beams, the kit is basically Safi's but less. Still, it's a fun fight to finish the vanillagame on before they grow up

Kulve Taroth- Who gave royal ludroth that nice coat? Joking aside, I like any phase of Kulve that isn't the first one where you have to break her shell off. The shell phase is just painful spam of that tail attack if you don't stunlock her, but afterwards she gets fun when she goes faster with the rapidfire gold attacks and novas

Beotodus- Onto iceborne, Beotodus is easily my favorite of that piscine trio. No lava camping, no boring muck, just this snow shark trying to sneak bites at you.

Banbaro- Finally, the better duramboros. What it lacks in natural aesthetic, it makes up for it by throwing an entire forest at you. My only contention is he stole Bazelgeuse's job >:(

Frostfang Barioth- Well... its more interesting than regular barioth. Definitely not by design, but I think the whole freezing your feet into the ground stuff should be considered for the future of the ice status effect. Slowness makes a lot more sense than the same stamina debuff as water

Namielle- Has one busted up face. I love its whiskers, though. I like how it manipulates both water and electric damage in its attacks, and has clear indicators when its charged up and when its uncharged over the course of the fight.

Velkhana- Ice armor also has it's own clear indicators over the fight. Unlike Namielle though, I never want to face Velkhana with anything less than an insect glaive ever again. Pretty dragon, but there's no denying exactly how much they had to steal from kushala for that skeleton. Those slippery ice pools were the most bearable part of that fight with hammer, which only makes me all the more salty they didn't transfer that to Rise

Shara Ishvalda- Just a cool fucked up big dragon. I bet that eye trick is done through layering Shara's eyes and adding a lighting effect to make it work like the seeing-eye portraits in haunted houses, giving the illusion of always following you. The fight certainly gets a bit tight in the latter half, where Shara's usually stolen half of the arena from you at that point. ...They still seem so weirdly inkwash-y that I want to believe someone on the FF team designed them.

Safi-jiiva- Big Xeno! Not a very flashy fight, but seems fun to gun through with friends. Sapphire of The Emperor is still my favorite nova in iceborne visually. I've only done their training battle, so my opinion is probably subject to change if they get too annoying

Fatalis (World)- Speaking of fights I haven't done, I'm looking through the window at this fight like a starving victorian child

Izuchi/Great- My first MH, though the sad thing is you can only fight Rise monsters for the first time, once. Great Izuchi was one of those bird wyvern fights that stood out to me, and then immediately god outclassed after I got used to the game

Rachnoid- Lamaar! Don't go nibbling those heads!

Aknosom- Secretely a Kut-ku fight, but also a kut-ku fight handled in a fun manner compared to..... the usual..

Almudron- Pass. The mudball is the only cool thing going for him

Bishaten/Orange- Alright tengu-monkey, has some of Kecha's attacks in there, but it does a fine job mixing it up with those fruit and pinecone throws

Goss Harag- Arguably, the best regular rise boss. Goss is here to show people how to do the bear fight right, and they do it by fighting like a proper ogre rather than a bear. They play consistently, and they provide enough of a challenge with the damage Goss can deal with the dual ice-blades. It's just a shame they never saw a variant...

Tetranadon- A zamtrios-type that never lost its way. While zamtrios gets mixed up between 3 forms with no real identity, Tetranadon takes the clear sumo route with its inflated attacks, making a more interesting fight overall than the ice shark. Once again, it's a shame it never got a variant

Somnacanth/Aurora- I'm not fully sure how to judge the Somna fights. It swims around a decent amount, not too much to be annoying, and jumps between different flashing and explosive shells when the time calls for it. I think it mostly suffers because they decided to put mizu in the same game, and hunting mizu is a lot more technical than hunting Somna. I do think Aurora was a step in the right direction- they fight more aggressively than regular Somna and spend less time swimming around unless going for physical blows

Rakna-Kadaki/Pyre- Nerscylla's crazy sister! While Rakna is much slower than her 4U counterpart, she weirdly makes good practice for the smaller spider. Her web-launches are much slower, but more powerful, which better encourages players to cut the line when the opportunity shows itself. The bonus fire damage when webbed was a good idea, but unfortunately you'll end up escaping before Rakna goes for the fire combo more than half the time. Pyre, thankfully, skips the middleman and just blows you up in a matter of seconds before you get time to react to some of her attacks. I like their joint efforts with the baby rachnoids- it's the first time we've seen that kind of team-up in a while

Magnamalo/Scorned- Good shit. A flagship that's not too hard, but feels too fast on a first playthrough unless you really wrapped your mind around the wirebug speed. Cool samurai tiger, cool halberd tail, when am I going to see him and Glavenus turf war, huh?

Ibushi- An elder best left to the Rampage where it felt his fight belonged. Fighting him outside of it just feels weird, since his best attacks are all integrated into Allmother Narwa anyways, he feels a bit redundant outside of his comfort zone. I remember the rampage being tight at the time- Ibushi actually won a couple of rounds while I was trying to farm his gear in my alt file.

Narwa- Still not at the real fight, Narwa's vanilla fight before the update was... okay. I wasn't really impressed by it- I actually found it too easy at the time, because all of her attacks were pretty slow and easy to react to. It's only after the update that I felt she could live up to the final boss title

Narwa The Allmother- Now we're cooking with gas. Allmother drags you into an arena where you no longer have to shift your focus on siege weaponry until she novas, so the most of the fight is just between you and her, and she thankfully has more catered attacks to this situation. Now, we have a monster that is more dangerous to engage in the air, which is a title only shared by Valstrax in Rise. All of her attacks have more oomph, and she's not shy of breaking those big attacks up with bites to reposition herself either. ...Now if only she didn't steal Ahtal Ka's dragonators p:

Espinas/Flaming- Cactus dragon is here. Ridiculously hard on the first impression, then later fights mellow out as you learn more about them. I think it's a shame that Flaming ended up easier than basic Espinas, though the regular version doesn't usually capitalize on the stun window anyways, so he's alright outside of his initial spawn

Garangolm- New monkey discovered! Strangely, I think most of it's attacks seem pretty unique to it, I'm kind of hard-pressed to find other monsters to compare it to. Despite that, Garangolm ended up kind of.... boring. Oops. I like how it just blasts around on its hands, but unfortunately there's a monster at the end of Sunbreak that just does the same thing, but better.

Lunagaron- The second puppy! I still love Ebony Odogaron's fight the most, though Lunagaron has an interesting transformation gimmick I like. I just wish that its 'werewolf' farm hit harder than a wet towel outside of the lunge attack

Malzeno- Castlevania itself is here. And.. with a good chunk of Velkhana's kit. Oops. Well, despite all the tail attacks, his ground blasts are pretty interesting, his grab is just a pretty fun attack, and I like how Malzeno zooms around the arenas once he's enraged. I don't think it would've been bad if they just ported the Malzeno from the demo, but alas he was only kind of hard compared to the elders following him.

Magma Almudron- Special shout outs for being the better monster compared to basic Almudron, and probably one of the few fun lava monster fights. Its just much more aggressive, spends much less time clowning around, and its lava attacks are just more dangerous and interesting than its old kit

Gaismagorm- Ok but- did we have to have 3 goblin shark-mouthed elder bosses in Rise??? I actually understand Gais, but if they were committing to that, I felt like they should have just given Narwa and Ibushi normal snouts instead. Anyways- Gaismagorm is that much more interesting take on Garangolm's charges I mentioned, except Gais is the size of the entire battlefield. So, when he charges you're pretty liable to get chipped. The final boss of Sunbreak really kicks in once the gems are off and he lights up. Attacks get much harder to dodge, they summon meteors, sun turrets, all of this cool stuff to stop you. Gaismagorm might have not been a difficult final boss, but he definitely earned the respect a final boss elder dragon deserves in this series

The Risen Elders- Eeeeh? To be honest- the battles don't stand out as much to me as Valstrax's did. I'm at a loss on what attacks were clearly unique and endangered me, so... that's not good for post-100 variants

#//long post

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archiiive · 1 month

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How To Get My Husband On My Side

I usually love strong female characters and I love reading them. Not a big fan of weak or damsel in distress characters. But RUBY. Idk how to explain my thoughts and feelings about her. Ik it doesn't make any sense but I feel like this is what I'd feel about my own daughter if I had one (I just turned 20 last month lolol). Ruby is by far my most favourite manhwa fmc and the most beautiful girl in my eyes I'm not even exaggerating. Yall won't believe how many times I scroll back to see the panels Ruby is in. I don't think I've even replayed shirtless Izek that many times lmao. I just stare at her in awe. I can't help but smile. I just re read this manhwa for the 4th time today, I just keep coming back here. This manhwa is so beautiful, cute, sad, painful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I cry, smile, laugh, giggle, get angry, so many emotions all at once.

I feel so sad whenever I look at Ruby's eyes. I just wanna give her a hug. Ruby is by far one of the strongest characters I've ever read. Being strong doesn't necessarily mean being physically strong yk. Everything she's gone through, those are unimaginable. The fact that she's still sane is probably the biggest proof of how strong she is. Cause imagine being abused like she was for that many years (even in her previous life, or should I say lives), she's only suffering. I can't imagine how deep the trauma runs.

Every kind of Abuse destroy people. She has gone thorough so many kind of abuses. But man SA has got to be the most horrendous things to ever happen to someone, that too by her own brother, at her own house, for so many years, where the so called brother even spread rumour about their questionable relationship outside just so her marriages could be broken off. I can't imagine going through all of that everyday and still having to smile sweetly 24/7, not having anyone to share these with, no one to rely on and pretending to be completely fine. I'd never be able to last so long, I'd be long gone.

As much as I love Izek now, it's an undeniable fact that he was a jerk to her when she first came here. Okay he had his reasons cause her family couldn't be trusted yada yada but RUBY didn't deserve any of it. Good thing she escaped from the hell, her own house but then came here to be treated like a nuisance by her own husband. Okay he's changed now and he loves her and everything is good so I'll kinda forgive him too cause at least he's giving Ruby the love, warmth, support, reassurance, comfort now. She needed them so bad. She really needed someone to confide in.

Whenever I see her holding things in and not being able to talk about her past traumas and abuse with anyone and silently putting up everything that fu*king Cesare bitch a**hole ugly looking piece of sh*t son of a wh*re does in fear that things will get worse, I just want to go get myself off by a truck and isekai into the story and stab that filthy guy until my hands fall of. I don't think I ever hated or will hate anything as much as I hate Cesare. This manhwa keeps breaking me but I still keep coming back for Ruby and maybe a little bit for Izek too, love to see them together.

I'm so mad she had to endure all of that. Idc what Ruby does or ever did. I'd support her even if she were to take initiative to end the world. I'd gladly let her destroy everything, kill everyone including me if that's what she wanted, I'd give her everything she could've ever asked for and even more cause RUBY my love deserves everything. Okay but why do I sound like a mom tho lolol. I guess Izek has a stronger competition now cause at least I'd never treat that angel like precious munchkin the way he did in the past hmph.

So in conclusion what I wanted to say is, I LOVE RUBY. My loveliest most adorable bestest sweetheart. My heart swells with love everytime she smiles. She shines so bright I fear. Ruby is the most amazing, Ruby is the most beautiful, Ruby is the strongest, i wanna bawl my eyes out everytime I look at her eyes. And if anyone tries to hurt my Ruby and talk shit about her, I'm personally coming for you, you better sleep at night with an eye open. Cause Ruby might be the sweetest but I'm certainly NOT.

#how to get my husband on my side #manhwa #historical #historical manhwa #strong female lead #ruby #rubyizek #izek #webtoon #webnovel #rubybestgirl

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dissolving-mansion · 1 year

Text

I posted 479 times in 2022

That's 340 more posts than 2021!

153 posts created (32%)

326 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dissolving-mansion

@elias-rights

@sofarraway

@lonelybeuys

@lazy-toad

I tagged 455 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#08 - 107 posts

#tma - 95 posts

#malevolent podcast - 56 posts

#dissolving chats - 55 posts

#rb 08 - 51 posts

#malevolent - 43 posts

#arthur lester - 33 posts

#strangers from hell - 29 posts

#mjjw - 29 posts

#08 malevolent - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#additionally. im very worried. because i know for a fact arthur will survive and the amount of deaths he's mysteriously survived is getting-

My Top Posts in 2022:

Wouldn't it be romantic? To be destroyed by the very monster you created?

227 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

I love shipping Jon in the TMA fandom because his potential love interests are this:

Guy who was only marginally worse at his Job than Jon was at his own (because he let an animal into the archives). Whenever he sees something he doesn't like he embodies the "I do not see it" meme. Man who is against crime until he personally dislikes the person the crime is being committed against, then it's fine. Bonded with Jon via shared trauma. Thinks Jon is incapable of making his own decisions. Spent most of his life lonely and bitter and without any 0 external or supernatural causes for this. Makes nice tea tho.

Guy who hates Jon because hating Elias would be even more pointless. Was stalked by Jon. Went from expressing fair negative criticisms and Jon not listening to expressing unfair negative criticisms and Jon listening too much. Lost the people he cared about to the thing that eventually destroyed him. More qualified for archival work than the rest of the team and simply because his publishing career gave him the mystical ability to spot errors. Only interaction with cops was sleeping with them for information so he took one look at Jon and Basira and was like "getting a lot of sleeping with cops for information vibes here". Heartbreaking last line before he went on his kayaking trip.

Girl who tried to murder him even after he thought he had tried to talk her out of it. Spent like a year looking at him and thinking "prey". Knife. Was a cop. In the camp of "Jon shouldn't have an opinion, actually, he should shit up." Often held up in comparison to Jon to make him look bad but she just honestly wants to do better. Has traumatic things on common with Jon. Werewolf. Presumably hot tho.

Not-a-guy that has stabbed Jon. Gives good advice in extremely cryptic ways like some kind of fortune teller. Has the skin texture of leather, apparently. A liar but honest about it. Has saved Jon and company on multiple occasions but did so in the creepiest and most villainous ways possible. Wanted to kill Jon. Had revenge fantasies that only involved Jon because he was Alive and There. Also wanted to be Known by Jon, a factor that may have contributed to its death. Died for wanting something clearly and without deceit.

Man who is way more dramatic and evil than he pretends to be. Makes puns that are only funny weeks later when you finally get them. Owns evil contracts. Hired the two people he knew would be most incompetent at archival work for archival work. Gave Jon a bed?? When Jon is stressed he concludes that the solution is More Work. Thinks being human is overrated. So terrified of being a victim that he victimized literally everybody else. "Grinning freak". Lying liar man. Same sense of humor and communication style as Jon tho.

Goth who comes across like a protagonist. Burns cursed books. Could have esaily been a bad person but chose to be good instead. Loathes saving people but begrudgingly does it anyway. Spent his entire life following the orders of old women who scare people. A book appraiser who would be shocked and upset by Jonathan "I only ever read a book once" Sims. Deserves a nap. Unfortunately, he died before Jon could meet him.

Jon is suffering.

389 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

Things to compare your eldritch horror love to:

Static in your ears and at the back of your eyes

Ice-cream pain, a pain digging inside you and spreading out

A mouth that tastes like blood

Seeing something move out of the corner of your eye but it's gone by the time you check

Deja vu, the feeling that this is a memory on repeat

A bruise you don't remember how you got

A live wire

The smell of ozone

The dreamy isolation of being at a gas station at night, where the rest of the world seems to fall away, as if swallowed by the darkness

That lurch in your whole body when you lose your footing

Machines that behave like vital organs; pump fluid like a heart; pull in air like a diaphragm and a set of lungs.

The smell of sulphur

Walking into a room that is far too hot and wondering where the heat is coming from

The way the sky lingers on your skin after it has rained

Dust motes floating in the sun spots

The feeling of being in a large underground pool, all alone

407 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

Melanie: why are girls so hot?

Martin: why are boys so hot?

Tim: why is everybody so hot?

[tape recorder clicks on]

Archivist: global warming

460 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love how the cosmic horror genre contains works like 'The King in Yellow' and 'Uzumaki'... And then we have things like 'The Lego Movie' and 'Horton Hears a Who'.

943 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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kosmic-songbird · 1 year

Text

Once I started writing this it basically turned into a journal entry of me working out the twisted mythology of my family so be warned. I guess I need a tag for that to cause this isn't necessarily #badbrain material. Maybe #spaghettithoughts? Cause its winding with no order or direction and immensely tangled. Idk. It'll do for now. Back to the post.

So, I made it through my trip back home. I actually had so much fun. The Bad Ghost™ only phased me a little but the other ghost was very sweet and hung out with me a lot. Walking along the ridgeline of the family pond, backstory underneath, really broke the depression cycle for a moment and made me feel alive again

↓↓↓

(backstory: the pond is very large, 80ish acres and is spring fed. It has a spillway to keep the water circulated and it turns out to a waterfall that feeds our local creek. My great grandpa Otto originally dug it out by hand and once he was too old to manage upkeep it reverted back to a valley between ridges--spillways break, it had no circulation pipe. Everyone in my hometown calls this area The Valley. Florida is pretty flat so this area that is hilly and has Ridgelines is pretty rare. It's actually pretty cool cause the name for the creek and valley is the name of one of the Lower Muskogee chiefs that lived in that area. It's distinct from the Muscogee Nation in Oklahoma. Essentially our people were removed to over there, so that group still has a larger tribal presence than what was left over here. Like I've mentioned before, my native ancestry is not super high and I look white as all hell but, our culture is dying so I'll keep it alive in my private life and support other native tribes with native people that are actually oppressed, as well as learning my heritage, the language, keeping up my relationship with the Deer Woman or Eco Hoktē, etc. to keep it alive for me and my family. My papa ferrel, who is a problematic man but eh family is family I guess, made me promise to learn the language and teach it and while I am learning it, idk if I'll ever be able to teach it or if I'd even be a good person to do so. Like i said, I'm federally considered native American but I am blonde and blue-eyed and definitely a recipient of every privilege that brings. Anyways, back to the pond, my dad loved my great grandpa Otto so much, because my great grandparents pretty much loved him the moment my mom, their granddaughter, introduced him to them. My grandma Bill--her name was Wilma but Grandpa Otto lovingly called her this so we all did too--called my dad Sampson cause he's a big guy. I mean really lorge. 6'5" broad and 290. Yes, me and my brothers are giants. She also called him Stebens instead of Steven and tbh I miss her so much. I had her and my Great Grandma Dottie--Dorothy, but we love nicknames in this family-- until I was 12. Grandma Dottie and Grandma Bill actually lived across the road from each other for 40 years, and then they loved across the hall from each other in the same nursing home until they passed, literally 2 months apart from one another..

I think about that a lot actually. Their kids had married and had a nasty split but they remained so close. That's a beautiful kind of love. I'm circling back to the pond, promise. But yeah, my dad had been told about the pond by grandpa Otto and when I was very little decided that he would resurrect it. I was kind of a miracle baby? I, like, nearly killed my mom and should have died so many times over. My mom thought she had a miscarriage but when it was all said and done my heartbeat was still there, I was a month premature, and born deaf--i hear just fine now tho!--so at the time my mom had just, miraculously, given birth to my little brother. My grandpa Otto had passed right before and, since he had practically raised my mother while my papa ferrel was having his deadbeat dad era, my mom was suffering emotionally. She has taken care of him until he passed, even while pregnant. I mean she provided hospice nurse level care to him. She's problematic too but I love her and hope I can one day be as strong, selfless, and courageous as she is. Just minus the martyr syndrome. And my dad's dad, grandpa Gary, had passed a few years before I was born. Him and my dad loved to fish. Really loved it. But after grandpa Gary passed my dad just, he couldn't bring himself to do it anymore. So, seeing as he had a new son and little girl that literally was attached to his hip, he figured, maybe, he could try to fish again. And since my mom was grieving my grandpa Otto's death immensely the idea came to him to fix the pond. It would be a gift to her, giving her a small piece of grandpa Otto back, and a gift to himself by letting him have a place to do with us what he loved to do so much with his father, and a gift to us. He was determined to make the pond better than ever and sturdier. He wanted to give everyone something that would last. So he got his friend and neighbor that does heavy machinery, his friend that was a well driller, and anyone else he could find to help and designed the new layout. Now, the pond is fed from a branch upstream and the spring underneath. It has a pipe to circulate flow and a spillway to also facilitate flow and not bother the natural ecosystem since there originally was a branch there. They also dug out a road to it, tho it's precarious as hell and scary lol. They left trees standing so that the fish would have places to hide and bed... it was extremely well thought out and kind of amazing, honestly. Ik a lot of people don't have the kind of privilege I do to have access to something like this all to ourselves so like, be aware that's not lost on me. Once the water rose, it needed fish, so my dad taught 4 year old me how to fish by taking me to local ponds, the creek, the lake to catch fish and then release them into the pond. It's... it's some of my earliest memories actually. This backstory is getting long and out of hand, but the big take away is that our pond is one of the best places of my childhood and being there, after feeling isolated and lonely in a new state really did some good for my soul)

↓↓↓

So, walking the overgrown Ridgeline of something I helped to build as a child, 20 years later, it fixed something broke in me. The friend I recently... Well, the sister I am estranged from, her father helped build that pond too. He was the well driller. He has since passed and make no mistake, he was a bad man. I think a lot of trauma stems from him and the fact she still hasn't grieved him, come to terms with who he was and that, maybe, she still loved him even in hate. I've had to do that with living family. My mom is strong but she pushed me to "Be the great woman God has made you to be. You were no accident, but a miracle, and I know you are capable of more than this." My dad has the biggest heart but he's narcissistic at times and he yelled. He was scary. He still does sometimes. And, tbh, the greatest healing for our relationship has been distance. He's always excited to see me and cherishes our time together now. So there's no criticism and yelling or arguing anymore. He just appreciates me as a strong woman he helped to raise. Same for mom. She understands now that her and dad and other things probably brought on my bipolar or, at the very least, made it worse. She gets that sometimes I don't have it in me to Be Great™. And so when I struggle now, she doesn't yell or guilt me, she listens and understands. It's... It's nice. It's nice to be able to wholly love my family again, despite their flaws. So maybe I'm too harsh on her, huh? She's a bad person, but so was her dad, and she didn't get to grow up and have him finally grow up and act better too, did she? But that's not an excuse, I suppose. Her father was beaten senselessly by her grandpa and thats how him and dad became close as brothers, he lived with him and my grandparents when his father was too violent to withstand. But her father was still a bad man. Serial cheater, literally ran drugs for the cartel (yes, mexico to Florida. how? I haven't the faintest clue) violent himself, addict, and probably more. My dad has cut him off too, right before he died. He has come to the house tweaking and my dad took him outside and said if he ever endangered his children that way again he would kill him and then they were estranged. He came over one last time the week before he died. It was the first time they spoke since and he apologized. He died the next week. My dad went to the pond by himself and came back so distraught that his eyes had swelled shut. I'll never forget that. But, when everything happened with her, I asked my dad if he would do it again. And he told me he would, without a second thought. His friend was endangering me and my little brothers; no matter how much he loves him he loves us more. And we all have a choice to be better. We all can be better. And so he told me not to fret too much. "She'll come around," he promised, "And even if something happened, because I know that's what you're actually asking, Avery, yeah you would regret it. I still do. But the regret could never outweigh the happiness you and your mom and your brothers have given me. I still miss him, but I'd do it again for you. Regret will not kill you, even if it hurts."

So I'm still hurting. I am. I'm still massively hurting. I'm fucking bleeding like cardiac wound, but I'd do it again. I was miserable. I was tired. I couldn't watch her sabotage herself over and over and over again. And when she told me that we weren't even close. That she was "just too broken to trust me, to be close to me" I lost it. I'd never felt more betrayed or worthless or just... Used. I would have done anything for her, and I did. I mustered the strength to let her know she was being a bitch, letting her borderline rule her life, and hurting me and others and herself. I removed myself from our attached hips with all the precision of a chainsaw in an army medics hands but I did it. I loved her enough to let her know what consequences are, even if it hurt me too. Even if I'm lonely and grieving and bleeding. I'm always fucking bleeding. I love people too much and too hard and it leaves me shattered and bleeding. Love breaks my bones. And I laugh. All that poetic nonsense that just can be summed up in a phrase.

I'm still bleeding.

But, when I sat on the ponds edge and watched the sun rise, I felt whole. The bleeding quelled, for a moment. I saw that even if my father had to go through pain and agony for his friendship with her dad, only for it to end, well, something beautiful still came out of it. And maybe, maybe I can find a way to turn this mess of blood into something beautiful too. So I'm going to get out of bed, even though I really wish I could stay in it forever and get dressed. I'm going to take care of the house I share with the love of my life and pet my dogs and cat. I'll water the orchids and apply for some jobs. I'll draw and I'll give an offering to my spirits. I'll think about how my boyfriend didn't like God of War that much the first time he played it, but when he played it for me (because I like game storylines but am terrifically bad at playing a lot of games) he watched the way I laughed, the way I gasped, and the way I cried so many times and he found a love for the game. Because of a love for me. I'm going to hold on to the way love weaves itself in the oddest of places. In a game, in a pond, in my heart. Kratos said to be better, and I will.

Ik no one will read this and that's okay. It's... It's easier to journal when it feels like I'm telling someone a story. Or explaining something. Or even just having a conversation. It makes it bearable. Thanks for listening.

#bad brain #spaghetti noodle thoughts #personal #sorry i use my public blog as a private diary

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nemeseos-noctua · 3 years

Note

Hey darlings! Can I request Xiao, Albedo and Diluc separately carrying reader around for a day because of a bet they lost? Love yall! <3

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: diluc, albedo, xiao (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: THIS TOOK SO LONG I’M SO SORRY ANON (i was busy and didnt feel like writing anything for like a month ☹ but im back and ill try and write more, esp since my school year ends in like a month and a half)

oh you could see so much

Diluc was so tall.... it was great

“is this what height feels like?”

despite you enjoying every second of it, the pyro typhoon was slowly suffering

HIS REPUTATION !! WHAT HAPPENS TO HIS REPUTATION ???

the answer is nothing (except that Donna is jealous and pissed)

“How much longer are we going to have to do this for?”

“The whole day, obviously! That was the bet!” you cheered, clearly enjoying where you were currently. His suffering for your enjoyment.

The red-haired man sighed and continued walking around, eventually drifting over to the giant tree in the middle of Windrise.

He stops next to the base of the oak tree, slightly lowering himself down. You weren’t exactly surprised that he could carry your weight, since he wields a giant claymore as a weapon, but you couldn’t feel not just the tiniest bit bad for him.

you guys were playing a guessing game as Diluc took a shift at Angel’s Share last night

“how much is venti gonna drink tonight”

you won, obviously

that damn bard drank at least 50,000 mora’s worth in dandelion wine

HE DOESNT EVEN PAY FOR IT IN MORA

and thats how you lose money in a business, children

You lowered yourself off of the man’s back, assuming that’s what he wanted.

“Hey, sorry about the bet...” you trail off, taking a seat on the grass and letting the wind graze your face.

“It’s fine. A bet is a bet.”

“Yeah but--” you stopped. There was absolutely no way that you would win this debate.

The pyro user looked at you after a few seconds of silence. You usually talked a lot more than this and strongly believed in sharing your thoughts, so what was stopping you now?

“You know what? Let’s just go to the winery and take a walk there together.” You begrudgingly got up from your spot from the cool grass and started to walk in the direction of the winery.

There were a few hurried steps coming from behind you, assumingly from Diluc, but you paid no mind to him. He probably just didn’t wanna leave you behind--

“Woah-- hey! Diluc, wh--”

“A bet is a bet.”

you found yourself on his shoulders this time

dude really ran up and lifted you onto his shoulders

like dipped under you

mans said “woOOP”

you would kill him but hes too hot for that 😉

You sighed.

A bet is a bet.

you were taller than the alchemist

not by much, but it was enough that it was wacky as hell

(i hc that Albedo isn’t super strong so he’s struggling even tho he’s a sword user-- tbh i thought that he was a catalyst at first lmao)

it’s so funny because Albedo is literally holding you like a baby being burped while doing some sort of experiment

“Stop kicking before I spill something on the both of us, (Y/N).”

“No.”

The blond sighed and continued to work on some kind of potion.

It was comforting to be in someone’s embrace again. How long’s it been? Years, maybe...

And soon enough, you fell asleep while the scholar cradled you in his arms.

i can assure you that he was FREAKING OUT

he was scared that he would wake you up if he put you down on the bed that the he occasionally would sleep on (he survives on caffeine)

but he needed to do this experiment

like... NEEDED to

“../N)..? (Y/N), wake up.” You whined in response, not really processing anything that was coming out of Albedo’s mouth. “You won’t be able to sleep later tonight if you continue with your nap.”

“..what time is it..?” you let out a large yawn and covered your mouth. Since you had just woken up, your brain had refused to function properly. And with that, it took you a while to realize that you were laying on a bed.

Albedo was still working on something (you weren’t sure what) but stopped to wake you up.

he’s cute

but he almost blew up

impressive how you didn’t wake up

“Only around sunset. Come, I’ll make dinner.”

the least i could say is that Xiao was not pleased.

HE WANTED TO COMPLAIN SO MUCH

but he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings 🥺

karmic debt was nothing compared to you feeling sad /j

karmic debt is horrible :( poor xiao

also being in crowded places was not fun for him

LANTERN RITE !! he did think that the xiao lanterns were cute

“Ooh, ooh, look! It’s a food stand,” you excited pointed out from on the yaksha’s back, “wanna get something? There might be almond tofu!”

“Only if there’s--”

“--almond tofu. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s the only thing you can stomach. Mr. Dream Eater...”

That must’ve struck a chord in him. The “young” man kissed his teeth, showing a hostile attitude that he had never done to you.

“Just because I agreed to let you win doesn’t mean that I won’t go back on it.”

secretly he didn’t

he really enjoyed your company and hates everyone else

funny because he desires company and love but WHATEVER !

xiao loves you in some type of way

he adores you and all of your stupidity

and sometimes you mess up and it’s fine

it’s just a “mortal thing”

(he also makes mistakes but shh)

You remained silent until the two of you reached the food stand, filled with savoury smells and delicious aromatics. Though there was no almond tofu.

“You wanna try somewhere else? I don’t mind going to find a different spot.”

Xiao grumbled. Not like you were the one walking and exerting energy to get from one place to another.

“Fine.”

“Look... I promise this is gonna be the last place. If we don’t find any, we can go back to Wangshu Inn and ask Verr Goldet for some,” you reasoned.

The adeptus remained silent, but didn’t show any signs of displeasure. You took it as a yes.

“Wanmin restaurant has some, I think! It’s the best of the best in Liyue too.”

“This better be worth it.”

“Don’t worry, it will! I’ll even pay for it and everything!” He sighed, making his way toward the restaurant. Honestly, you didn’t wanna even get anything to eat. For the most part, it was just spoiling Xiao for once since he never went anywhere and only ate the almond tofu Verr Goldet made at the Inn.

I hope that you can be happy, at least for today.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin impact #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #xiao x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #albedo x reader #diluc x reader #genshin xiao #genshin albedo #genshin diluc #ririsann

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miekasa · 3 years

Text

random boyfriend levi hcs (modern au)

↯ pairing: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, fluff, i feel like he would honestly just be a quiet, gentle soul if given the opportunity to relax for once in his life lmao

↯ notes: i was planning to do some levi hcs, and then i got a request for them so yay! here you go, enjoy!

Has a carafe and fills it every morning (because he finishes it every day). He also absolutely does get his 6-8 glasses of water in on the daily thank you very much.

Oh he likes bubble baths. Not into lighting a thousand candles around him (altho he does like candles). Maybe one or two. Doesn’t stay for very long, but does like to get a good soak every once in a while, after he’s already showered of course.

Likes showering with you. A lot. Not necessarily for sexual antics, but he just likes it. Likes it a lot when you get all soapy and then hug him. 10/10. Although shower sex is always a welcome added bonus.

Fluffs your pillows for you in the morning behind your back. Not sure why it’s a secret for him, but it just is.

He’s like a fucking VIP member at SoulCycle or some shit and enjoys taking you with him to the classes just to see you sweat and suffer LMAO

Doesn’t mind doing things late at night with you, actually prefers it to some extent. Just don’t ask him to do anything dumb.

“Do you wanna walk to McDonald’s and get a McFlurry?” “No. I fucking hate McDonald’s and it’s 2am.” ....... “Do you want to drive around and maybe get some chinese food on our way back?” “... I’ll get the keys, let’s go.”

Surprisingly, likes to bake. It’s somewhat relaxing and therapeutic for him. He’s not the best at things like brownies and cakes and icing and decorating and all of that, but is really good at smaller, I suppose more refined desserts.

Think things like little fruit tarts, lemon squares, creme brûlée. Things that might not require a lot of ingredients, but are very particular in technique.

He doesn’t mind cooking though. But he likes cooking for other people best, not to mention he can be picky about his take-out. It can become a chore to him otherwise (and you can miss him with that meal-prepping bullshit), but he doesn’t mind cooking dinner if he knows it’s for you and him to share. And is willing to honor any particular meal request you might have.

Not exactly a wine connoisseur, but he doesn’t mind having a glass with you when you ask. He keeps bottles you and his friends get for him, but he doesn’t know shit about tasting and pairing and all that. If he needs to know or needs a recommendation, he’ll ask Erwin.

Into niche home design things like lighting fixtures, finding the perfect handles for his furniture and drawers, and things of that nature.

Very much a DIY kind of guy, and your fixer-upper. Need to assemble furniture? Fix a broken TV? Re-tile your bathroom floors? Levi’s your guy.

Loves candles. Not super sweet smelling ones like birthday cake and vanilla bean, but loves lighter, fruitier scenes like eucalyptus mixes, lemon, even sage. Always has candles on hand and never misses a single Bath and Body Works sale.

On that note, yes he does coupon. Why wouldn’t he? Capitalism already sucks and everything is so expensive, he’ll take a bargain where he can get it.

Never owned a speaker because he never saw any use for it, but one day, you coerced him into having a mini-karaoke session while you were cooking together and he found out he enjoyed it quite a bit. (The music playing a loud, not the karaoke. Even though he’s a pretty decent singer).

So when you bought him a record player for his birthday, it easily became one of his most valued possessions. And he’s really enjoyed collecting vinyls.

Other than that, he’s open to most kinds of music, and likes it if you make playlists for him—otherwise he’ll just listen to whatever you have made.

Levi and Erwin are presidents of the Beyhive but you didn’t hear that from me. Nothing but respect for THEIR Queen Bey.

Enjoys taking walks and going running when the weather is nice, and likes having you along with him. It’s actually on occasion on which he prefers to hold your hand in public. You don’t always talk much, but it’s still nice and Levi really relishes in it.

Genuinely laughs out fucking loud whenever you put a face mask on and cannot take you seriously for the next 20-35 minutes LMAO

“Hey, Casper, did you want me to get you a glass of water on my way back.” “FUCK YOU MY SKIN IS GLOWING LEVI!! GLOWING!!”

Despite that, he still fucking steals your other skin scare!! Like retinol isn’t expensive as hell!!

Likes getting massages from you, and may or may not have feigned or exaggerated soreness form his workouts a few times to get one.

Fucking hates pumping gas, but doesn’t trust the little brats at the gas station to do it for him, and would rather eat a pair of jeans than let you get out and get gawked at, so he does it himself.

If you’re in public doing something/looking at something and taking too long, Levi will just start nudging you to get you moving. Like if you’ve already spent 10 minutes looking at different pasta shapes in the grocery store, he’ll put a hand on your waist and slowly usher you back to the cart so you can actually finish your shopping (and go the fuck home).

On that note, he pulls you/grabs at you quite a bit, usually to out the way of other people or harms way (or so he claims). For example, pulls you back further onto the sidewalk while you’re waiting at the crosswalk; further away from the lines on the ground near trains and busses; away from Hange.

Really likes kissing you. Not in public, but doesn’t mind having you all over him in private. And honestly, when he wants it, he doesn’t mind being all over you either.

He’s a particularly big cuddle bug in the morning bye.

Likes it when you drive. Mostly because he can just chill in the passenger seat and take a nap.

LMAO he can’t ride a bicycle. If you taught him, he’d probably pick up pretty quickly, but nobody ever taught him so he doesn’t know how yet.

(When you find this out, you’re VERY eager to teach him and Levi feels like he might have finally met his demise). “Do you want some training wheels, Levi? I saw a pretty pink pair in the toy store on the way here.” “No, fuck you, I just need to find my balance—hey, don’t let me go! Do you want me to die???”

Despite not liking having his photo taken, he’s a pretty good photographer and doesn’t mind taking pictures of you.

Keeps a picture of you and him inside his wallet. You don’t know that it’s there.

Despises the dentist with every fiber of his being and would not fucking go if you didn’t force him to. Seriously, you have to book the appointment for him and everything or else he’s just not make one or go.

And it’s not even like he has bad teeth?? They’re fine, maybe just in need of the regular professional cleaning. He just hates people prodding inside his goddamn mouth.

Which is very weird and you tease him very loudly about because he’s fine with the doctor?? And the ophthalmologist?? And everything else but the dentist LMAO

Quite spontaneous with dates in all honesty. Sometimes he just sees shit or has an idea and asks you if you’d be down.

Not one for cliche coupley items, but you do have matching sneakers. (They’re his favorite pair of sneakers).

Picks up things you’ve left laying around and puts them in their proper place. “Levi have you seen my—” “It’s on your desk. Where it belongs.”

Museum dates! Not that he cares for the pompous air of museums, but objectively they’re nice. Quiet, pretty objects, clean. Overall, not so bad. Just don’t take him to a fucking history museum.

Has a habit of kissing the palm of your hand. It’s his silent way of telling you he loves you.

Lays his head on your lap when you’re sitting on the couch. Claims he’s not keeping up with your shows but secretly is. Curls up into a ball and takes a nap halfway through tho.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #aot imagines #snk imagines #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman fluff #eren x reader

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doopy-n-loopy · 3 years

Text

Yan!TF2 × reader headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

// obsessive tendancies, mentions of violence, blood, sexual themes, noncon

[SFW]

Let's start with the defense classes

Defense:

Demoman

Deffo didn't admit that he loved you

Tbh he probably blamed it on his drunkenness

But dude you're always drunk

I mean seriously if he sobers up he'll genuinely die so like-

He would usually drink with you or just around you if you don't drink

He's generally a fun chill guy to be with

He would watch you from a distance at times, especially during battle you might distract the cyclops

He's okay with you asking questions

One time he broke his eyepatch and needed a new one

You gave him a nice black eyepatch with the demoman emblem on it

He gets all red whenever you say his full name, because he knows you remembered it

He is generally against kidnapping, I mean especially since he lives with his ma he'd rather not

And because he's a gentleman

If you ever reciprocate his feelings he'll make sure to treat you right

He is a messy person but for you? He'll clean

Probably would get carried away and make home made bombs with all the cleaning supplies 🤦‍♂️

Takes you to meet his mom

"ooo Tavish, yer gonna get me some grand kiddos are ya?"

That made you both blush like crazy

Soft cheek kisses

Probably made a special bomb and named it after you

"this one's for you, luv!" *Proceeds to set off all stickybombs which blows up the entire enemy team*

Blew up the last guy who looked at you funny

Hell, even worse when they make a sexual remark to you scout probably did it

Likes to give you your space but when he's paranoid he follows you to wherever or watched you from a distance

Heavy

Two words: big boy

Hugs are 10000000000/10

Sometimes it fewls suffocating but man it's like hugging a cloud

Soft forehead kisses

Russian pet names

He sometimes lets you touch Sasha, that's how he knows he loves you because he doesn't even let medic, his best friend, touch her

Probably named a gun after you or one of the pet names he calls you

You definitely met his family and they loved you

Zana especially

Doesn't get jealous easily but will not hesitate to unload 12 pounds of bullets into someone who even LOOKS at you the wrong way

Lord have mercy on the ones who dare flirt with you, rest in pieces scout

Doesn't really follow you anywhere (you're a bit too fast for him) but he does watch you and check up on you

He preforms okay on the battlefield but when you're around, he'll show off

Will cook for you, mainly russian dishes

He's very against kidnapping and would rather not do it

Doesn't shut up about you when he's around medic

Engineer

F l u f f y

Very softspoken in general but he gets all flustered when you talk to him

Will check up on you occasionally

"Darlin'" "Honey bunny" things like that y'know

Huge smile when you're around

Will cook for you most definitely, knows what you like

Makes little robots for you

Likes seeing you use his dispenser

Doesn't get jealous easily either but will try and take you away from someone who wants your attention

Likes just having you in his presence, doesn't need to talk to be happy with you around

Very very against kidnapping like all other defense classes, wouldn't do it unless if he truly felt the need to, last resort kind of thing

The last guy who flirted with you had a sentry gun shoved up his ass

Doesn't really follow you anywhere

Offense:

Scout

Nothing short of a horomonal teenager

I mean he's 21 but

He gets so giddy around you, very loud, tries to show off

He loves you very much

"oh yeah? Well I once absolutely smashed a guy into peices, he was still screaming when he was dead!"

He brags about brutal things but hey you love it since you're also brutal

Flexes his non-existent muscles around you

Would talk about his mom to you all day

Definitely got a tattoo of your face and name somewhere on his body, most likely his bicep

Your name is probably misspelled too but you never say anything about it because he can't read so it's fine

He hasn't really thought about kidnapping in all honesty, again, a last resort kinda thing if he can't get you to love him

He will make a damn SCENE if anyone flirts with you

"you think that's funny, chucklenuts? I eat guys like you for breakfast lunch AND dinner!" "I'll blow yer freakin head off if ya talk to y/n like that again!" Would definitely drag you away

God help anyone that makes you uncomfortable, he'll fuck them up, if that person is medic I mean he'll try to but we all know how fucking scary medic is

Follows you at times

Pyro

"Mphmphmpph"

Seems more lovey around you

Definitely gave you a hand full of the enemy's bloody bones thinking it was a bouquet of flowers

Absolute baby

Just so precious, scary but precious

Hugs for days

Good luck trying to get their ass off of you when you're on cease-fire

Very warm though, they smell like smoke with a bit of blood

Likes petting you

Isn't against the idea of kidnap because they don't realize what they're actually doing, they think they're just taking you to a magical place

Snuggles

When someone flirts with you their whole world changes

Gets angry and starts yelling at them

"MPHMPHMOHMPHHH! MPHMPHNHUMAHUMA!" - Pyro 2021

Will not let you get a checkup alone, he trusts medic but not with you

Very sweet tho, he'll turn around when you need to strip down

Will follow you almost EVERYWHERE and if they can, while holding your hand

Soldier

Yells at you a little less than the others

At first doesn't realize how he feels but then realizes that he loves you

Is pretty protective over you

Rants about America all day to you

Probably got you an american flag to wear

Doesn't really take off his helmet but he likes seeing you in it, makes him proud

If you ever live with him you'll find out that he owns like 20 racoons

"YOU ARE CUTER THAN A RACOON" "YOU WILL BE SAFE ON THE BATTLEFIELD, DO YOU HEAR ME MAGGOT?"

He loudly wakes everyone up in the morning but tries to avoid waking you up

Loves you as much as he loves America

Will show off on the battlefield for you

Isn't against kidnapping you, he probably did it early on if you showed immediately that you didn't reciprocate his feelings

Will blow any guy that hits on you to absolute bits

"MAGGOT DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU WILL LEAVE THE LADY/MAN ALONE THIS INSTANT!"

Probably put you on his back and rocket jumped just to show you what it felt like

Follows you around a lot, it's really obvious because he wears a bucket over his head and crashes into things, when you look back he'll stand behind a lamp post or somewhere really obvious

Support

Ah yes, everyones favorite class including mine

Sniper

Very quiet

Takes secret glances at you

Pays more attention to you than the others

S h y

Asks how you are, how you slept, etc

Doesn't really need to be holding you, tbh he's against PDA

But he likes being in your presence

Just sit down next to him and he'll be fine

When he's on the battlefield, he'll look for you and make sure you're safe

God forbid anyone try to hurt you, he'll make them suffer

Talks about Australia to you and accidentally admitted that he wanted to take you there

Doesn't like the idea of kidnapping but he isn't totally against it, I can see him doing it

He smuggled you all the damn way to Australia

He'll nonchalantly show off to you on the battlefield, he'll let you get cornered and come in to save the day

"love" is a word he uses a lot with you

Will grumble to himself if he sees someone flirting with you

If it's a random person, well, that'll be the last time you ever see them

Has talked about you to his parents

Kind of follows you? I mean he sits atop a high placeand watches you through his scope whenever you're going somewhere

Spy

SEDUCTIVE ASF

He knows what he's doing

Will kiss your hand a lot

Likes to flirt with you and see you blush

"honhonhon"

Sleazy french fucker

Watched you from afar at first then approached you a little later

Isn't against the idea of kidnapping, pro kidnapping, definitely did it not only to have you to himself but for some sort of sexual satisfaction

Just very uh... Lewd? Can't find the right word

He treats you very respectfully though

If he hears anyone else flirting with you he'll be fuming but won't show it

"Oh please, like you could EVER satisfy y/n's desires"

That person mysteriously disappeared that night

Very cocky bastard

Definetly follows you home, not only that but he watches you through your window

And stalks you

He knows everything about you

Would get you either by knocking you unconscious or by blackmailing you

Medic

B a s t a r d

Gets LOUD when you're around

And giddy

Very touchy, always has a reason to put his hands on you

Talks a lot with you around, I mean he already talks a lot but now he won't shut up

Keeps his office nice and clean for you

He restocks on everything so when you come around you can take a loot at all his medicines

Big smile :D

Like spy he is not at all against kidnapping you

Makes sure you're comfortable during checkups

Will make you wait to be seen last just so he can take his time touching your body

"it's all part of the procedure".mp3

Compliments you in weird ways, ex: "your skin is so smooth and lovely, it's the perfect texture to make leather out of" "you have an amazing colon"

Look he's just trying his best here he has a screw loose

You're the only member who he's careful with really

Sometimes allows you to get hurt or has you get hurt by something just so you can see him

Always follows you wherever

Knows everything about you

If someone is flirting with you, he'll get quiet at first and use a low tone to speak to them

"you have guts talking to y/n like that"

They were never seen again

With kidnapping, he won't hesitate to use blackmail against you, or will just use anesthesia

Bonus: Pauling

Pauling

This lady values her work over her life, but to her you're so much more important

Will call you a lot on the battlefield to check in on you

Won't give you extremely hard missons to do because she doesn't want you to get hurt

"Hey (class), Pauling here. I need you... No not like that I just- I mean- for a mission yeah a mission"

Gets all flustered when you're around

Will take her only day off to spend time with you, what a sweetheart

Keeps multiple tabs on you

Follows you around

Doesn't really have time for kidnapping

But if it comes to that, she'll make something up so she has a reason to kidnap you

If anyone else is flirting with you she won't show that she's annoyed

She'll make something up as an excuse to execute them

[NSFW]

Defense

Demo

Has definitely thought of what you'd look like while naked

B l u s h

Has used a mental image of you to get off before

Probably has an actual photo of you

When he drinks a little more than usual, he'll accidentally brush his hand against your ass or get touchy with you

Will not force himself on you, he's 100% against that

If you decide to have sex with him, praise is what you're gonna get

"you're as beautiful as a shot of whiskey in the sunrise"

Very gentle with his hands

Heavy

Not the type to masturbate

Unless if he gets THAT worked up

Again, against forcing himself on you

But if you want it no doubt you will top

He's also gentle with you

And loving

Praise is all you're gonna get

Sometimes russian sometimes broken english

Either way he will worship your body

Engi

Again, a more modest guy, doesn't really touch himself

Might just use a robot to pleasure himself when thinking about you

Probably has a photo of you and him around his workshop

Never forces himself on you

He's sweet and gentle when you do want it though

Sometimes gets help from his robot friends

Offense

Scout

Gets off on thinking about you

Won't force himself on you though

Sexual remarks × 100

Calls you handsome/beautiful in bed

I wouldn't say he's the best in bed but hey he's good I guess

Cuddles after sex most likely

Probablh threw out all his sexual magazines because they just didn't do the trick anymore

Sometimes when he runs past you, your shirt/skirt gets lifted up by a gust of wind and he can't help but look ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Since I hit the text limit, I'll be making a part 2, stay tuned

#tf2 x reader #medic x reader #engineer x reader #spy x reader #yandere hcs #yandere #scout x reader #sniper x reader #heavy x reader #demoman x reader #pyro x reader #soldier x reader #pauling x reader #yandere tf2

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obeiii-mee · 4 years

Note

Hi there! Im back, tysm for doing my HC ;;/ it was super cute, i really liked Mammons and Satans!! If you dont mind if i ask for another? Hdjsks Recently, i slipped while walking home with some pals and scrapped my knee. It wasnt too bad, but it sure looked bad lmao If you can could you do HCs for the boys reacting to MC slipping and scrapping there knee while walking w them? Im sure Mammon would have a heart attack hfjd Tysm!! Keep up the good work♡

Thank you so much! I hope your knee gets better and that it wasn’t too painful! The brothers would all be panicking in their own way but I agree, Mammon would faint or something lmao.

Hope this was OK.

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who fell and scraped their knee:

Lucifer:

-It was a miracle you managed to convince him to come out on a walk with you at all

-The man doesn’t know when to take a break from his work

-He’s more likely to accept if it’s you asking tho, he has an obvious soft spot for you

-The others call him a suck up behind his back because of it

-You were so happy that you managed to pry Lucifer away from his desk, you were basically skipping alongside him

-Long story short, you tripped over your own two feet and fell

-Luckily, your knees and palms were the only things that got a bit scruffy

-Well, actually your right knee looked as if someone tried removing your entire knee cap with a scalpel, skin and all but adrenaline was kicking in and you couldn’t feel much

-You’ve never seen Lucifer freeze the way he did then

-His mind just drew a blank

-You were about to shrug it off and call it a day, get up and continue your walk but daddy Lucifer can’t have that

-He has six younger brothers (and a younger sister at some point) he is pretty experienced when it comes to treating injuries

-You aren’t walking for the rest of the day, let me make this clear

-He will carry you back to the House of Lamentation no matter how much you protest

-In case it wasn’t obvious already, Lucifer gives off massive dad vibes and now he’s bandaging your leg while you’re laying down on his bed

-While the rest of the brothers watch the two of you from behind the door frame because they are all equally worried

-Get ready for the three hour lecture coming your way

-He’s pissed and amused at the same time tbh

-Silly human, falling over like that and hurting themselves

-Lord Diavolo forbid you try to get out of that bed, he will drag you back and make sure you stay there until your knee is better (kinky)

Mammon:

-He was on his merry way to the casino to blow off all of Lucifer’s money and you tagged along solely for the purpose of making sure he didn’t spend all of Lucifer’s money

-You’d both be done for if he did

-But I guess fate really had it out for you on that day since your foot slipped on....something and you tripped

-Both of your knees looked bloody and damaged as hell but you were more irritated than anything

-Mammon on the other hand did a fucking double take and almost passed out

-He screeched his lungs out

-One look at your injured knees and he was ready to drag you all the way to the human realm on foot to find you a doctor

-“MC ARE YOU OK WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH BLOO-HOLY SHIT STAY STILL DON’T MOVE! THE GREAT MAMMON WILL FIX THIS...SOMEHOW.”

-It was very dramatic, he cried

-You stood up to prove that you were alright because you thought he was going to have a seizure soon enough

-OK, that helped him calm down a little

-At least now he knew your legs weren’t about to get torn off and you weren’t on the verge of death

-Fuck the casino, you were going home

-Like Lucifer, don’t expect you will walk home by yourself

-He will carry you, a bit embarrassed by his initial freak out but still eyeing your wound, concerned

-As soon as you get home and the other brothers help you out because he’s shit at bandaging, he just sits in his own pool of misery and guilt

-Your poor knees wouldn’t be so jacked up if you hadn’t come along with him today

-He was so determined to make it up to you, he stayed by your bedside like a loyal puppy with a wagging tail (flashback to the animal event)

-Overall, he almost went into cardiac arrest and was too panicked to realise you were fine

-You thought he was smothering and overprotective before? Good luck for the rest of the week

Levi:

-“See, this is why I don’t like going out. There’s always some normie laying on the groun- OH MY LORD DIAVOLO, MC IS THAT YOU?? ARE YOU OK?”

-HIS HENRY ALMOST DIED ON THE NEWLY POLISHED FLOOR OF AN ANIME CONVENTION, HE HAS VERY MIXED EMOTIONS

-You fell knees first and hurt them quiet badly but you could stand, even if the pain made you twitch a little

-This confused Levi because you looked fine even though your knees certainly didn’t

-You told him you felt alright and it wasn’t that big of a deal and he absolutely rolled with it

-But you guys still went home after that

-He said it was because you bled all over your cosplay but that’s just him being a tsundere

-Levi is usually very shy when it comes to physical contact but he firmly insisted that he help you walk home

-I mean, he knows you said you were feeling OK and maybe humans just have a lot of tolerance for injuries like that

-But he still felt it was necessary that he took you home and checked out your injuries

-He kept the mood light while disinfecting you’re wound with some help from Satan by talking about how the convention went

-High low-key relieved seeing you walk around like normal two minutes after that

-He started bitching to you about how you made him miss his the event but he didn’t mean any of it

-“Stupid normie, making me miss my favourite Ruri-chan event. You’re lucky I love you and think you’re cute....did I just say that out loud??”

Satan:

-Oh dear, why would you go out for a walk in the middle of a rainstorm? What were you thinking?

-Actually, it was Satan’s idea

-He may be a demon and the prince of Wrath no less, but he is such a sappy, cheesy bastard at times

-He definitely thinks that walking and kissing in the rain is very romantic (bet he read something like that in an erotica)

-You know what’s not romantic blondie? Slipping on a very small puddle and potentially fracturing your leg

-It was just a scraped knee but you were frustrated enough to be extra

-He’s helping you up before you even have the chance to realise you fell in the first place

-Your knee was looking pretty bad so you guys went home just to avoid any further casualties

-He’s actually chuckling all the way back while you playfully glare at him because how dare he laugh at your misery?

-Date night was ruined but at least he got to take care of you

-He knew your knee must have hurt and he felt bad but he couldn’t help but giggle a bit to himself because your fall was so comical

-Ah but he does enjoy fussing over you for the rest of the night a bit too much

Asmo:

-You thought Mammon was melodramatic?

-Take a look at this fucking guy

-He actually screeches even louder than his brother and probably falls to his knees too (but not really because those pants were expensive)

-His screams definitely got the attention of at least 10 random passerbyers

-He’s actually on the verge of crying

-I mean, can you blame him?? Look at your beautiful knees!! They were ruined

-He felt so bad for you, he actually babied the hell out of you that day

-“Asmo, it’s fine. It’s just a scrap.”

-“A SCRAP, MC IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNEE IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF YOUR POOR SKIN-“

-It was just a scrap but Asmo’s secret talent is being extra as fuck

-He totally spilled all the tea to the rest of the brothers when he got home

-And then he ushered you into his room

-Funnily enough, he’s pretty good with injuries. Not as much as Satan and Lucifer but still

-He pampered you for the next few hours but that image of your skin being all grazed like that will forever haunt him

-How can you not be so bothered by it?? He’d die if he was in your place

-I love Asmo just because of how dramatic he is

Beel:

-Your shoelaces were undone and of course that meant a fun little trip to the floor of Hell’s Kitchen

-Beel didn’t notice you fell at first, he was concentrating on his food and assumed you were next to him

-But then he realised that you weren’t and for a moment he thought you disappeared or something

-Before he turned to find you laying on the floor, curled up because life was pain and you were suffering

-“Are you OK? Or are you just tired? Belphie does that a lot when he’s tired.” Or depressed one might say

-But for real, he’s good at identifying serious wounds and less serious wounds since he’s an athlete

-He can tell your knees were bleeding way more than they should have from just a simple scrap

-He slinged you over his shoulder and carried you, calmly, back home, with a burger still in his hand

-He’s actually really collective and talked to you while cleaning up your injury to take your mind off the pain

-He knows humans are a little more fragile than demons so even though he knows it’s not a big deal, he can’t help but worry

-It’s kinda hard falling around him tho because chances are, he will actually catch you even if he happens to hold something

-He’s sad if you’re sad so please don’t cry he will bandage your scraped knee do you want the last bit of his burger to make you feel better?

-Comfort hugs afterwards!

-Which is awesome because Beel gives out best hugs :)

Belphie:

-Ah yes, another beautiful day at RAD

-Walking alongside with your grumpy and sleepy boyfriend when a random demon bumps into you

-Wel not bumps, more like shoves you so hard you fall down and tear the fabric of your pants

-While the dude shrugs it off and speeds away

-You were a bit pissed off because rude

-But Belphie was fucking fuming

-He felt so offended on your part

-I mean, the nerve of him

-He was tired as shit but he wanted to chase after him and throw hands, possibly fill his pillow with rocks and hit him over the head with it

-He forced himself to focus on you first before hunting the moron down

-He was a bit concerned when he didn’t see you come back up after you fell

-Turns out, you scraped your knee pretty horribly and now you were bleeding all over the floor

-He’s even more quiet than usual as he helps you up and half carries you to your next class

-He starts taking care of your knee in the middle of DevilDom history he doesn’t give a flying fuck

-He’s still furious by the time he gets home and most of his brothers know to leave him be when he makes that scary ass face

-No talk to him

-He angy

-“Does your knee still hurt?”

-“A bit but it’s not-“

-“Come nap with me.”

-“Why?”

-“Naps shall cure your pain.”

-“...”

-“Nah but for real come take a nap with me.”

-Next day at school, the dude from yesterday walks by him and Belphie smashes his head against the wall

-Before walking away as if nothing happened

-I stan protective Belphie

These HCs are really bad but I love them anyway

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #⭐️ requests #☂️ demon brothers #🌸 comfort #💞 Protective Bois

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pa-panda-heroes · 3 years

Text

No one asked but take it hERE YOU GO bc I’m suffering and I just need a 2d baby to help me with my shit spine-

Megumi, Yuuji, and Nobara helping out their s/o with back issues!

Megumi:

He doesn’t know a thing about it and what it’s like, or even heard of your issue. That said, he’s quick to look it up on the internet to figure out exactly what’s goin on, what might help, and what he can help with. Really wants to help if he can’

Need your shit put back into place? Megumi’s your guy! He’ll watch dozens of videos to learn how to do it, and while he may be nervous about cracking your back and shifting things back into place, he’s a natural at it. He’s gentle with you, refraining from manhandling and yanking you around when he doesn’t need to, and he somehow knows exactly how much pressure is needed and where.

Even though he does so well, he’ll always remark a firm “You really should see a professional about it, though.” He’s just pushy like that, even though he’s always happy to help where he can. Megumi just thinks it’s better to have someone trained and licensed to do something like this.

Probably won’t be too thrilled when you ask for a massage for the first time. Again, he’s fine with learning, but he doesn’t feel apt enough and encourages you to have a pro do it. You need to be as stubborn as Nobara to convince him.

Once you do, though, he realizes it’s kinda nice. The two of you can chitchat idly about anything that comes to mind and it’s really peaceful. It’s quiet. Void of the “excitement” that daily life has, be it fighting for your life against curses or trying to keep a tight leash on Yuuji and Nobara. And if you fall asleep? He’ll swoon.

Eventually he’ll pick up on what aggravates your back and what doesn’t, as well as what helps and what doesn’t. Megumi will also quickly notice cues in your body language or demeanor that call for his help, painkillers, or a much-needed break.

If you’ve been out and about all day exorcising curses and the pain gets unbearable, asking him to carry you on his back can yield various results. If the others are around or if you’re in public, he’ll be pretty adamant you take some pain pills and rest for a little while.

It’s not that he sees it as a burden or anything; he likes that you’d ask him. However, the thought of carrying you on his back in front of other people is quite flustering to him, but if you’re actually wounded aside from your usual issue, he’ll follow along with a bit of grumbling. When no one’s around, though, he’ll offer before you can ask.

Yuuji:

You’d think he would be clueless and utterly confused, but nay! Yuuji knows lidocaine patches are a gift to this world, hot pads are a gem, and hot baths are an absolute miracle. Well, they can be. He knows that when it’s especially bad, it’s bad and your best bet is to find the most comfortable resting position as possible and leave it at that.

Sympathetic as hell. Yuuji has seen what back pain can do to someone - he saw that with his own grandfather, even if the old man’s issue was brought on by his age. While he doesn’t experience it himself, Yuuji just knows. He doesn’t know how to pop you back into place, though. The old man was stubborn about letting him do that, so he has no experience.

Great at cracking things back into place once you teach him, even if he can be a bit clumsy actually getting into position to do it. “No, you have to stand so that I’m facing you.” “Oh, so... like this, with my hands this way?” “Yuuji, sweetheart, you can’t pop my hips back into place from my knees-“

He tries so hard to help out. Whether it’s popping up out the blue (and giving you one hell of a fright) with painkillers, keeping a literal stockpile of lidocaine patches in his pockets, or constantly asking if he can “crack” you (much to the bewilderment of everyone else because he gives no context-), Yuuji nearly smothers you.

It’s cute, though, and he’s smothering you for all the right reasons! When you happen to be in the city after a job well-done, he’ll offer to buy you ice cream, “since you worked so hard today and your back is probably killing you.” “Yuuji, are you using my shit back as an excuse to gorge on sweets?!” Yes, yes he absolutely is. And with the massive puppy eyes he gives you, there’s no way you can say no.

Loves loves loves to do the thing where he hugs you from behind, squeezes real tightly, and jerks you up. He’ll say it’s because it seems to help and the relief he sees on your face afterward is wonderful to see, but it’s really because he just likes squeezing you.

Gives you piggyback rides all the time. You can refuse and tell him your back is fine to walk all you want, but it won’t work. He’ll come up with an excuse along the lines of preventing your back from getting bad. You have to somewhat admit he has a point, and he honestly does believe in that. But he’s just happy to carry you.

Horrible masseuse. Dear Fujisan keep this boy the hell away from your muscles. Popping and cracking you entails quick, hard pressure and maneuvers, while massages entail constant pressure over periods of time and slow, graceful movements. Yuuji is neither slow nor graceful. He tries so hard for you, tho

Nobara:

This poor girl has no idea what the hell is going on with you but still somehow does everything right. And she’s totally bewildered when a wild guess in the dark actually works, like.... what?? Are you sure you’re not faking it so she doesn’t feel bad for being clueless?? Y/n?? Hello??

Scared of her own shadow when it comes to helping crack you or put your back into place. Remember Noboara’s little “muri muri muri” dance when she found out Yuuji ate a cursed object? That is exactly what you get when you bring it up to her, because she’s afraid she’ll hurt you.

You will have to show her on her own body what you need before she’ll consider doing it. Or, you can taunt her. That always works! But once she’s got it down, Nobara might even ask you if you can work on her back or refer her to the chiropractor that you go to when you’re able. She’s curious to see how an adjustment could help her even though she doesn’t have any problems.

Pain killers and heating pads galore. She has so much stockpiled in her cabinet, you wonder if she eats pills like candy. In reality, she just likes to be prepared. She keeps plenty of other things of a medical nature, too. “Hey, hey, hey, y/n! Have you tried a back brace? I’ve got this kind, and this kind...”

Actually gets super interested in your condition. Nobara will scour the internet trying to learn everything she can, be it looking at x-ray samples or treatments. She even saw a video detailing the process of drilling screws and metal bars into the spine to treat scoliosis, once. Needless to say, she gets a handle of what your condition is rather effectively.

Unless you’re a fair amount under 160cm/5ft3 in height, you’re probably not getting any piggyback rides from Nobara. You can bet she’ll try, though, especially when the others (or you) tease her about it. She’ll pull it off out of hard spite, just to prove them wrong because she can do anything she puts her mind to and she’s stubborn.

Ask her for a massage. Do it. You will not regret it! Nobara’s lithe fingers are perfect for rolling out any built-up tension. She knows just what kind of pressure, where to put it, and how to move her fingers over your muscles to help reduce pain, tension, and just overall stress.

And she has fun doing it, too! She loves helping you out, and every once in a while when she’s really focused, you can catch her humming to herself with a tiny smile and cheery glint to her eyes. Nobara is surprisingly a quiet masseuse because of her intense focus, so you’ll have to do most of the talking if you feel like it.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fushiguro x reader #itadori x reader #kugisaki x reader #megumi x reader #yuuji x reader #nobara x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #itadori yuuji x reader #kugisaki nobara x reader #disclaimer:this was entirely self-indulgent and definitely led by my own experiences with scoliosis whoops

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laraplisetski · 3 years

Text

Dating Iwaizumi Hajime

A/n: This isnt related to the headcanons but I have this request for Seijoh’s libero and since I'm doing dating hcs for all of Seijoh by their jersey numbers. So anyways please wait a little bit longer as I might tag you in the dating hcs for Watari. Sorry for any mistakes tho.

Special announcement!

I just reached a hundred follows today! Thankyou for for following me and I'm so thankful for all the support. If I could, I would try to show more gratitude in any way.

Words: 1790

Tags: @imthatchishiyasimp, @kekozume

(These arms tho)

Iwaizumi routinely calls you something like baka or dumbass but he says it in good faith.

For example whenever you do something stupid Iwaizumi call you a dumbass.

But he doesn't mean it, it's just how he shows his worry.

He's just a big ass tsundere, you cannot tell me otherwise.

A lot of people think Iwaizumi would be a gentleman but like I feel like he would treat you like Oikawa but like way less harsher.

Like he would let you call him nicknames like ‘iWa-ChAn’ and just blush and call you dumbass.

*cough cough* tsundere *cough cough*

Also he's bad at giving compliments,

Like you'll be wearing nice clothes that really fit your form and he’ll really like you wearing them.

And you'll ask him if he likes your clothes, and hell just blush furiously grab your hand and just start walking.

‘Iwa, do you like what I wore today? It's my favorite outfit.’

‘Ye-yeah, we have to go, we'll miss our bus.’

One time you guys had a huge argument over this.

You feel insecure because he treated you more like Oikawa who was his best friend than his s/o.

He tried really hard after that to compliment you whenever you looked good.

(In his opinion you always did)

And you really appreciated him trying.

After that your bond grew stronger as both of you knew that you would be willing to for the other.

As your bond grew stronger the more you started to open up to him about your struggles.

Now Hajime isn't a very open person. (Well he is but he doesn't like to admit it.)

And he's a little brash and very straightforward with his feelings or his thoughts.

So when you're acting down he straight up asks you what's wrong and doesn't consider that you don't/wouldn't want to talk about it.

This might make you a little more agitated since you're already very sad but when he realizes that you don't want to talk about it, he immediately regrets it and apologies straight away.

One thing I love about Iwaizumi as a character is that he isn't afraid to tell the truth even if he knows he's in the wrong.

But these things only happened in the start of your relationship because when you two spend much more time together he starts to notice patterns in your behavior and how you act based on how you feel.

That really helps him to know if you're sad, angry or irritated at someone.

Later in the relationship, he knows when to comfort you, when to give you space and when to scold you.

You really appreciate this because he doesn't sugarcoat his words and he gives you advice that is honest and comes from his heart.

Moving on, let's talk about his friends.

By friends I mean Oikawa.

When Iwaizumi first got a s/o Oikawa was fuming because

‘wHo wOuLd DaRe taKe mY iWa-cHaN aWay frOm mE’

Iwa slapped him on the back of his head after he said that.

After that every time you would come to school, Oikawa would stick to Iwaizumi like a leech

(for comedic purposes of course)

Iwaizumi found it amusing at first how jealous you would be that Oikawa was getting all your boyfriends attention.

But then as time passed you started waving to Oikawa whenever he was sticking with Iwa and he started waving back.

After that you two developed a friendship.

You know what this means.

Hell for Iwaizumi has started.

So Iwaizumi would always walk you to class in the morning and you guys would sit with Oikawa for lunch.

Now that you're friends with Oikawa.

Ohoho, I'm sorry Iwa you have to suffer.

So you guys get along very well and Iwaizumi is very thankful for that because the two most important people (other than his family) are getting along.

It's fine for the first two weeks but then you and Oikawa develop this sibling-like bond.

It's almost identical to Iwa and Oikawa’s bond but because you share the same sense of humor Oikawa doesn't get teased.

Also one time Oikawa convinced you to call Hajime, Iwa-Chan for a day.

To say Iwaizumi was not pleased was an understatement.

The good thing is Oikawa got the bad end of it but it was worth it.

Also you guys eat lunch together and you and Oikawa keep making bad jokes and Iwaizumi has no choice but to sigh and deal with it, cause he loves both of you.

Poor iWa-ChAn.

You also tend to stick up for Oikawa during practices when the team is teasing him.

Due to you thinking of him as your little brother (It doesn't matter if you're older or younger Oikawa gives off major annoying little brother vibes.)

And the team cant rebel against you cause if they did Iwaizumi would murder them.

Other than that they absolutely love you cause you take care of the first and second years and keep them in line.

And you get along with Matsun and Makki and share memes with them.

Surprisingly Kyotani also respects you.

And he actually listens to your advice.

(Because of this Oikawa will whine about how no one respects him and goes on a rant and then you have to cheer him up while simultaneously giving everyone attention in the team.)

Being a team mom for Seijoh is very hard.

Also I feel like the reason Kyotani respected you when you became Iwa’s s/o was because you were Iwa’s s/o.

But now his view on you has changed.

He's very inspired by you and looks up to you.

He's always amazed by how you can be such a naturally caring person and be such a good leader and team player.

He also might come to you for advice if he had an argument with someone.

If you're a volleyball player as well and you're good, be ready for Kyotani following you around everywhere asking questions.

It's sort of endearing.

You and Iwa and Kyotani have this parent-son relationship and it's so wholesome I swear.

(Please adopt him.)

You do not only help keep the team in check you help them with matches too.

Like maybe getting their opponents videos for Oikawa.

You also sit down with the first and second years to watch their opponents videos and point out what seems peculiar and what not.

One time the person who usually took videos of the matches was unavailable so you went out of your way to do it yourself.

When Iwa found out he hugged you really tight and had this proud look in his eyes.

I bet when Oikawa found out he just clung to you and started full on crying.

(You're basically their manager at this point.)

Also when the team found out that you taped it yourself and all that, their respect from you went out the roof.

Now you are a goddess among them.

(Kyotani literally be looking at you with star eyes)

Enough about the team tho

Let's get back to Iwa and you.

You always try to be sneaky and steal his clothes but he catches you midway trying to sneak one of his jumpers out.

But he lets you have them anyways cause you look fucking cute in them.

Whenever he sees you wearing his clothes this man just blushes like 50 shades of red.

(I'm sorry pun wasn’t intended)

But anyways what I'm trying to say is that he blushes a deep red and basically just becomes a stuttering mess.

You like kiss him on the cheek like this once and he's putty in your hands.

I'm not even kidding.

Also Iwa’s pretty muscular so no matter how long you are his hoodies will always be loose on you in some way.

(sorry muscular people)

And Iwa finds it so cute like

His s/o in his hoodie that's all loose on them.

Just like internally crying at that point.

Also mind you Iwaizumi loves back hugs like.

Imagine you are wearing one of his articles of clothing and you just casually back hug him.

Man will short circuit but will never admit he likes them because hes a

Tsundere~~

But this might just be my love of back hugs talking who knows.

When he doesn't have practice he usually stays at home and cuddles with you or you have movie nights with Tooru but that is rare cause he has to take care of his cousin.

But you guys just calmly cuddle and no one is really speaking.

Just basking in each other's presence and being comfortable in each other's company.

Sometimes one of you falls asleep and the other just strokes their fingers through their hair.

It's basically the same when he comes back from practice but the only difference is that he takes off his shirt and you massage his strong muscles with some oil.

After that y'all cuddle but you're blushing the entire time because like Iwaizumi’s shirtless excuse me!

‘And this bitch just goes,

‘Take a picture it'll last longer’

Like what, how do you expect yourself not to short circuit.

And curse you Oikawa, you don't have to teach him the ways of flirting.

Usually you wouldn't react to that type of comment but he's shirtless and now you're putty in his hands.

So you both are like beans.

Also I'm like a hundred percent sure Iwaizumi is a big spoon.

He just loves caging you in his arms and making sure you feel protected.

It also keeps him very grounded and just honestly happy to have you there with him.

There was this one incident in which you and Oikawa were bantering and Iwaizumi wasn't having any of it so he picked you up and threw you on his shoulder. And walked away like nothing happened.

After that you guys sort of had an impromptu make out session in the club room, which was unfortunately interrupted by Kindaichi barging in.

Bless him.

And his eyes.

You and Iwaizumi had to sit him down and make him swear to not tell anyone.

After that you two continued but Kindaichi might've accidentally spilled to Kunimi

Opps.

Bonus points

Iwaizumi likes to buy purple hyacinths for you on valentines day because it's your favorite flower and to also say sorry for when he was not boyfriend like in the beginning of your relationship.

(Yes I referenced Purple Hyacinth the webtoon, go watch it)

Also the team has a custom made Seijoh jacket, just for you!

And the first time you saw it you just hugged Iwaizumi and started sobbing because these boys were too precious and just too pure. (I love Seijoh)

The end.

#haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #iwazumi x reader #iwaizumi prompt #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi dating hc #x reader #xreader #x gender neutral reader #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#Haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu prompts #haikyuu headcanons #anyways #bye😃

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nancydfan · 3 years

Note

You and himboethanwinters’ post about Ethan’s character in RE7 is so true. I think that I read somewhere that Capcom wanted to put the player in the front seat of the game, to make it feel as though it was really happening to you and not a character in a game. And so that’s why I get why Ethan doesn’t say much in game, because they were probably afraid that too much dialogue would make it feel like it wasn’t you in this situation but a character you play as. Like you guys said he was supposed to be a blank slate. However I freaking hate that, because (to me) it never felt like I personally was in this situation. It felt like me and Ethan were in this together but Ethan was just my mostly silent buddy lol. Honestly they kind of missed the mark, and that’s the most criticism I think there was towards Ethan’s character after RE7 was that his reactions were very underwhelming. And you bring up great points where he does show emotions but in subtler ways and how he would have been in shock since this is an average man who has never been subjected to this kind of horror would definitely be a lot more just at a loss for words instead of someone like Leon or Chris who have dealt with shit like this on a regular basis and have fun one liners. That’s probably why in RE8 in a way it makes sense for him to react more because he’s been through hell before and it doesn’t leave him speechless anymore. But yeah, that was one of my biggest complaints about RE7 because they didn’t quite nail the whole “you ARE the protagonist”, and because of that Ethan’s character suffered a bit (still love him tho lol). But the whole “I’m glad” thing at the end of RE7 was so bad?? Like?? Sir Ethan just went through hell for his wife, and we KNOW just how panicked (we can literally hear it in his voice) he was throughout the game when Mia is in danger and how heartbroken he is when he thinks she died (ie sacrificing herself to save him if you go down the curing Mia path), and all of a sudden when he sees his wife is alright and well he’s just like “great! Anyways-” like that doesn’t fit his character. They really should have just done something like a chokey / emotional “Mia, I thought I’d lost you again. I’m so glad you’re alive” at least, but no instead he just sounds cool and casual which makes no sense. Anyways I think Capcom got the message tho about our criticisms with him because Ethan went from like 12 minutes of dialogue to 45 minutes in RE8 which is DEFINITELY an improvement lol. It’s one of the things I love the most about the game because Ethan feels more fleshed out and more “real” instead of a “body” so to speak for us to play the game. His reactions make so much more sense and he feels so much more alive which I love.

First off, I’m so sorry for the delay! I have a meeting in 20 minutes I’ve been prepping for all morning so I’m a bit delayed in my response cause I wanted to give it my full attention.

I am so there with you! I didn’t really think of it that way until you mentioned it but I talk out loud when I play games. And I talk to ethan the whole time. I do talk to the antagonists too as if I’m Ethan but a lot of the time I’m encouraging Ethan on like come on, buddy, you can do this. And I’m apologizing all the time like when we’re down to zero bullets and zero health and he’s limping pathetically and I’m like IM SO SORRY ETHAN. I SUCK I KNOW.

Also every time I get snippy at him for doing something stupid he reminds me I’m the one driving this train Ahahahaha

But...yeah we’re never gonna be the protagonist. I’m here defending Ethan. It’s like w the Nancy Drew games. They always said, “It’s up to you as Nancy Drew.” But I never thought I was Nancy. I was just controlling her lol

I’m glad they upped the dialogue just cause I think Ethan is such a great character with such a funny wit we finally get to see. I mean he laughed at his own jokes, I can’t love him more. But also we FEEL his rage. His devastation. His pain but determination. It makes this game so visceral to me which is why I can’t still go back in because I’d be an emotional wreck. We are there with Ethan experiencing village but we’re not Ethan. That’s how re7 should have been written - I totally agree with you!

Also lawl the ending...I can rant all day. It’s one of those moments I’m like did no one review this? Think that Mr Ethan “I have mias name tatted to my ass” Winters wouldn’t idk respond further? This man isn’t afraid to cry and Capcom was like yeah no I’m glad is fine.

I get there were two routes but he mourns Mia in the zoe route if you don’t choose her. It’s the biggest miss w Ethan’s character in re7 for sure.

#thanks for the ask my friend!!#resident evil #ethan winters #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #mrs joe speaks #long post

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dana-chan-the-control-brain · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on, Invader Zim Quarterly: Holiday Special

WEEEE WISH YOU A MERRY JINGLY WE WISH YOU A MERRY JINGLY!

Ahhhhh It’s out! I’m so excited!

But I always get excited when it has my man Membrane and my man Eric Trueheart involved with the comics.

Also santa.. Tbh, I was excited and nervous about this quarterly.

Excited because it has Membrane santa backstory...

But I was nervous because that it means they might bring back the santa-blob monster from the Holiday special on the TV... and The Christmas special is one of my least favorite IZ episodes... I mean... I rewatch it occasionally, and it’s fun, but I’m just kinda used to IZ having more BITE in it’s satire if you know what I mean? The Christmas Special in the IZ universe doesn’t really say anything about the capitalism of Christmas... it’s not like IZ hasn’t made fun of capitalism before. (that’s the whole show) The Christmas Special in the show just kinda fell flat of my expectations of what an Invader Zim episode should be....

The only thing I respect the Holiday Special for, is that it goes down the “Santa isn’t real” route in a kid’s show and sticks to it. (there’s no “real santa” that shows up and “solves everything”) All of the “Santa’s Helpers” confused the Santa mythos with the Christianity Jesus mythos. (”waiting one day for his return”) Which makes sense, since IZ is like dystopian future Suburbia Hell. I just kinda like that there’s no “real santa” that interfered to “fix everything” and that Zim himself ended up CREATING Santa when he didn’t exist previously. Like I find that kinda cool...

Other then that, I just kinda wanted something else from the Hoilday special then what I got. (It taking priority over scrapped episodes like “the trail” and “Ten minutes to doom” and “mopiness of doom” does not help it’s case in being one of my C-tier episodes...)

So maybe this quarterly will fill the void of what I wanted out of a Holiday special? Well, let’s see.

SPOILERS FOR THE QUARTERLY BELOW THE CUT

Ways to get Dana off-board immediately: Monster Santa is canon.

I always never liked to view the special as canon for ways that it fell flat before.

And I had the excuse of saying that the snowman was an unreliable narrator and I could adapt it down the line in my fic as a different story.

I just didn’t like the idea of Monster-horror-blob santa... Like... Cool design... but he just kinda represents everything I disliked about the special... (including the major inconsistency of when Tak’s ship got fixed...)

But then again.. I need to remember IZ’s lore isn’t as consistent as I think it is sometimes...

Okay, fine. Monster blob santa real... what else you got for me, Holiday special?

FACE HUGGER SANTA! FACE HUGGER SANTA! I AM NOT INTO IT!

WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! NO. DANA HATES THIS!

Okay, kinda into it because this means that ZIM CREATED SANTA in this mythos... I am dying.... wait.. this takes place in the future then...soo...?

haoFhaGHAOhfgg

It was all a dream?!

GOOD.

my heart couldn’t take it if horror-santa was real...

Also... that nightcap and bed... Does this mean we’re going to have an Invader Zim Christmas Carol?!?!?! I know that’s been adapted a schmillion times but I would be so into that....

Also... Flying... hamm...

Good ol’ Zim... Repressing those memories...

Also this being the THIRD ETF reference in a quarterly, It can be very safe to say the Quarterly issues take place after the events of ETF.

Clembrane exists in the Quarterly, Membrane has robot arms, Zim remembers this (kinda) Yeah this is definately ETF verse and it’s here to stay.

Christmas Carol?! I’m down for this... and I can’t help but notice their claws look familiar

OH HOLY HELL I WAS RIGHT! THESE GUYS! I LOVE THESE GUYS?!

Why are you here tho?

I’m a bit lost on why these guys wanta take over the earth, but they’re hilarious so I’m just glad they’re here.

Also... The Christmas Special is Schrodinger's Christmas... did it happen, or was it a dream, or the tales of a lunatic snowman... I guess I’ll never know.

The issue goes on for an IZ Christmas Carol parody (heck yea) and the visions are all hilarious and I’m not gonna spoil them here... but...

Eric.... this is terrifying..........thanks I hate it.

TINY DIB THOUGH! GHAOGHAHGAHAHA

THIS IS GREAT

THE MORE DIB SUFFERS THE MORE I LOVE IT!

“Though I am Dib and sickly father”

I’m dying XDDDDD

Also... What the fuck is Zim’s reaction here...

I find it funny that Zim has put Dib into simulated realities before... (in the show and comics) and in the show, Dib is all powerful and in the comics, Dib is just himself and Zim is his brother..

But seeing a simulated Dib all weak and pathetic and chronically ill BOTHERS ZIM?!?!

That’s... well that’s interesting.

Thought he’d laugh at this honestly, but he seems greatly annoyed...

I CHANGED MY MIND! THIS IS THE BEST THING!

(those who know me know why I’m dying over this)

YES!!!

ZIM DOESN’T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE FEEL BAD FOR HIM OR PITY HIM!

(which confirms like a lot of my hcs and adds spicy kindling to my au much mad respect)

This I find interesting... Zim complepative over his lonely/abandoned grave. It’s like he really doesn’t know how to feel. It’s more of a numbness then a sadness. Or he noticed how empty his life is...

He feels lonely and empty about it... which tracks considering how Zim’s greatest fear in the Trial was to be deleted and never be remembered by anyone.

I don’t know... This panel makes me feel things...

Johnen: Haha. Zim’s not that deep a character.

Eric: Hey for the Christmas special, let’s have Zim parody a Christmas carol and feel lonely staring at his own empty grave when he realizes no one cares about him or misses him.

Johnen: Cool. Do it.

What are you two assholes doing to me, man?! I have feelings!

AND ONCE AGAIN!

Zim hates pity and people feeling bad and sorry for him.

Man this makes me so sad... And it really feels like this issue looked into my brain again, cause I have some plans relating to Zim not wanting sympathy or pity from anyone later down the line (okay I’ll shut up about my au. We’re talking Zim here)

And of course, Zim breaks everything like he usually does. (this time on purpose)

Also nice callback that Zim remembered that Dib said he liked his boots one time in the Poop-wizard issue.

Also, it ends? I guess this quarterly has a few shorter stories this time... which I’m fine with.

Also, Zim should consider Green and Blue like D-list friends at this point and just invite them in for some fundip or something (come on, Zim, it’s Christmas.....)

GASP!?!?!

LITTLE MEMBRANE!!!

AND GRANDPARENTS CONFIRMED!!!

Wait... so his Parents are scientists too? Is that why he always wanted to be a scientist?

But then wait.... If Membrane inherited Membrane Labs from his parents... Why is HIS FACE the brand of the Company?..... There’s so much Membrane-face brand merch in the show. (it decorates his home..)

Like even if they were dead, if his parents founded Membrane labs, I feel they’d still be the face. of the company... (that’s how a lot of corporate faces are these days... they show some old dead guy who made the company as opposed to the son who inherited the Company.... Like everyone knows who Walt Disney/Mickey Mouse is, but unless you pay close attention to that kinda thing, not everyone knows who the current chairman or CEO is in the modern age....)

I just find that a bit odd.

Anyways... I feel people can still do what they want with Membrane’s parents and get away with it. I’m not changing my “his parents were farmers” headcanon. Sorry comic..

BUT I LOVE THEIR DESIGNS.

I love how Membrane looks a lot like his mother, and his father is just BUFF GAZ with a pipe.... Truely legends.

GASP!!!

COLLEGEBRANE COLLEGEBRANE COLLEGEBRANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOKOUT DIB, THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!

I FUCKING LOVE HOW OILY HE LOOKS.. AND IT ADDS UP CAUSE...

The Membrane Men when they don’t shower or bathe in months.....

Someone help these two.

(thank god Membrane got better at personal hygiene.)

Also Teenbrane STILL has his human arms and not his robo-arms.

This means he loses his arms later in life... YUSH HORRAY FOR HEADCANNONS BEING VALIDATED!

He didn’t lose his arms in a shark accident when he was a KID! It happened WAY LATER!

NICE!

OH MY GOD HE IS BABY!

HE IS SO SHY AND ACKWARD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I LOVE HIM!

He is just... all sweat and hiding his work but also very passionate and spiteful.

Like you can see who he grew up to become, and you can also see how a kid like Dib came out of a man like him...

But I love social anxiety awkward early twenties/late teens Membrane... He is a baby!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MEMBRANE ;w;

Basically, Membrane knows that Santa isn’t real, but he doesn’t want to be mad at his parents so he harbors a grudge on Santa instead... THAT’S SO SWEET I’M CRYING TTmTT

LIKE THAT IS SO SWEET AND I’M CRYING!

(also I love how me and Ceph understand Membrane’s character too well that the gesture he does in the 2nd panel here are reminisant of our fic so many times... Like we have his mannerisms down and I love when the mask slips from Membrane and we get to see a real person... augh soo good)

WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT TO MAKE MY MAN THIS SAD?! ONLY I CAN MAKE HIM SAD!

MEMBRANE TTMTT

AUUUGHH

Also probably guessing the parents are dead... I’m just laughing at their designs...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Yes you are, Professor Membrane... Don’t let anyone tell you different. (actually, please do) Well, I mean, At least you’re trying and get progressively better.

(also... this probably means everytime Dib has asked his Dad for a dangerous weapon to fight Zim with, Membrane just gives it to him no questions asked and I’m doing a MAJOR concern about this man’s parenting skills... get help please good sir!)

Also, Dib really saved the day again here (like he did in Dib’s big day)

Dib called about destroying santa when Membrane was in one of his lowest points... He hides it really well... Especially from his children..

Ah.. I loved that one.

But I’m a huge Membrane Simp though.

I did find the stuff about Membrane’s parents a little weird... like I said regarding how Membrane’s face is the brand of Membrane labs...

Could be true that they were other scientists and that Membrane founded Membrane labs later... but that seems highly unlikely...

Also... Why does the house look that hug when in the christmas special, it looked kinda like...well... just not that, and kinda more humble from the interior and not some big rocket lab...

So yeah... AMAZING character building for Membrane (which I eat up)

Hilarious Grandparent Designs. But I still prefer @esthyradler ‘s Grandparents. The superior Grandparents.

Anyways... The Quarterly was GREAT!

I kinda find it funny the Zim story is the weaker one of the two again... But I honestly blame the Christmas Horror blob connection and the Christmas Carol parody.

Or maybe my Membrane Bias is clouding my mind here. I do have Zim bias but sometimes Zim can frustrate me. There’s just so many times Zim can do and say the same things you know? Zim is my baby, but sometimes his denial and annoyance with everyone can be very predictable at points. Zim was just way more fun in the last quarterly than this one.

With Membrane it’s more of a blank slate what to do with him cause he ony started really mattering as a character since ETF. Yes, I do love show Membrane, but I admit he wasn’t exactly a character then. More of a presence and excuse for why Dib had access to lab equipment. With Dib’s Dilemma and this Hoilday special, the Quarterly folks seem determined to turn him into a fully realized character with the rest of the cast and I’m extremely excited to hear that!

(Computer issue/backstory WHEN?!)

I don’t really have ratings or systems for these but hope you liked my thoughts.

Merry Christmas everyone.

#Invader Zim #invader zim quarterly #IZ comics #IZ comics Spoilers #danachan's rants #Professor Membrane

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lady-tortilla-chip · 3 years

Note

For the ship meme: zukaang

Oooooh my gosh this is a LOT and I have to thank you very much for giving me the excuse to write all this. Lol.

General

—Tbh none of these fully encapsulate how I feel for this ship but I do wonder constantly why the hell few others actually appreciate it.

How long will they last? - Life.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Alright I spent too long thinking about this because I have several headcanons for how/when they fall in love but eventually landed on my somewhat canon compliant one — Zuko falls for Aang first. Though he only realizes his feelings towards Aang after he and Mai break off their relationship for a final time. Aang falls for Zuko later, after he and Katara mutually break away from each other when they realize they’ve grown to love each other purely as friends.

How was their first kiss? - Initiated by Zuko their first kiss is sweet but charged full of all the things he didn’t know how to say but desperately wanted to convey. Aang laughs softly when they pull apart and says, “I wondered when you’d finally do it.”

Wedding

Who proposed? - Aang proposed marriage between them but Zuko had been thinking about it. However he had been hesitant to bring it up because of the potential political issues that might arise when the Avatar officially bound himself to the FireLord. This is an issue that the two ultimately decide is worth dealing with together.

Who stressed the most? - Zuko

How fancy was the ceremony? - I imagine their union happening one of two ways. One, they have two separate ceremonies. One for the Fire Nation following all their customs and one for themselves following all the Air Nomad customs (tho I do wonder how likely it was that the Air Nomads had formal weddings of any kind considering they were so huge on freedom). Anyway, the second version is that they have a ceremony which merges the two cultural traditions.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Idk Ozai probably.

Sex

Who is on top? - Ima just open these questions with it DEPENDS. So like if you wanna skip all the answers here go ahead because ultimately in my mind, it really just depends upon what’s happening between them in the given moment for like, every single one of these questions.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Depends. Both are likely to instigate. Zuko usually when they firebend together and Aang when Zuko lets go of his dignified FireLord image and is just himself.

How healthy is their sex life? - Very.

How kinky are they? - they’d probs be like at a 7?? Idk honestly this isn’t something I’ve thought about much. Lol

How long do they normally last? - suppose it depends on when and where they got busy.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - probably not, but this seems like something that’s dependent upon who initiated it.

How rough are they in bed? - I think how “rough” they get is purely dependent on the moment.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - They are definitely the types to hold each other close after.

Children

How many children will they have naturally? - Nada.

How many children will they adopt? - Four. For each nation! But like, by complete accident and Toph or Sokka are the ones to point this out. I like to imagine the first kid they adopt into their lives would maybe be an orphaned child from the people at the Northern Air Temple. (Who I think have potential to learn not only learn the Air Nomad culture but also Airbending!)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Would depend mostly on who’s available. I like to imagine Aang wouldn’t like the idea of using servants to help care for their kids so probably him when he’s around.

Who is the stricter parent? - Zuko, he’d have had a much more structured upbringing so he’d definitely be the more serious/strict parent between them.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Ok I don’t think any of the kids would go to a formal school because they are royalty by virtue of being adopted by the FireLord. So they’d have many tutors. But like, in regards to dangerous stunts period? Zuko. Because Aang would absolutely join them (for fun and to keep them safe).

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Who is the more loved parent? - Aang often has to force veggies on his children thus losing out half the time on the “favorite parent” vote. However Zuko suffers the same when he refuses to allow them to do something dangerous.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - They were raised by two people who know very well how to avoid getting caught, so the real question is, how often do either of them even need to?

Cooking

Who does the most cooking? - Ok so I like to think they’d have places to run away to all over the world and in those places they’d handle their own cooking. Zuko is pathetically bad at it so Aang does all the cooking which also means the whole family collectively eats vegetarian when they go off on breaks. This is because while Aang is fine with meat being cooked around him he really doesn’t care to cook it himself.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Aang, but eventually Zuko (once he learns that people eat Turtleducks) when he turns towards being vegetarian too. Sokka and all but one of their kids hate it. 😂

Who does the grocery shopping? - When they go off to one of their get away places Aang does the shopping but Zuko goes with him everytime.

How often do they bake desserts? - Aang does as often as possible but Zuko likes trying to bake Air Nomad desserts for Aang.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Zuko goes through a change from being a meat guy to a veggie guy (tho he still does eat meat occasionally). So they become a couple of salad eaters.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Both. Aang because he likes trying new things. Zuko because every now and again he’d really like to have some meat.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Zuko.

Chores

Who cleans the room? - Aang.

Who is really against chores? - Their children.

Who cleans up after the pets? - depends, Zuko likes having the kids do it but Aang will if they don’t.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Zuko is most likely to want to, but ultimately he wouldn’t do it because Aang absolutely would find it.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Zuko

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - did they have dollars?

Misc

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Zuko, but they definitely take the longest baths together and shorter baths apart.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - were dogs a thing in ATLA?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - 😬 idk what holidays do they have that would involve decorating for?

What are their goals for the relationship? - maintaining a healthy balance between them in all ways. In how they distance their personal relationship from the formal one. In how they parent (which is hugely different because of their very very different upbringings). And in how they treat each other.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Aang? Tbh I think they’d both be early risers.

Who plays the most pranks? - Aang. For sure.

#I thought for too long about this ngl #lol #ask #answered #zukaang #ATLA #headcanon

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zhuhongs · 3 years

Text

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again.

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order. Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half.

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess.

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost). Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war. Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun.

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad.

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring.

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost.

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring. Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

#🐌.txt #镇魂 guardian #as always... if anyone wants to ask me any questions abt this or guardian in general... pls do.. my mind goes brrrrrr #guardian meta

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