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carpkoinobori · 4 days

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[❣︎] good luck, babe — huh yunjin x reader

[𖤐] 1/3 [please be aware this is all fiction! none of this is real and idols behavior is not accurately represented.]

song(s): good luck babe - chappel roan | runaway runaway - mars argo | casual - chappel roan |

summary: you’re dream was to debut with your best friend. what do you do when she doesn’t want to debut as your “friend” anymore?

pairing: idol!huh yunjin x soloist!fem!reader | slight idol!nakamura kazuha x soloist!fem!reader

tags: angst, eventual happy ending

wc: 2.7k

cw: mentions of dieting, internalized homophobia LITE, period-typical homophobia

ex: not beta read will do it later sorry 😞

jennifer had been your best friend since highschool— or I guess you should say huh yunjin, now. you both met in your freshman year, and bonded over your love of music and dance. she was loud, extroverted, but not in an obnoxious way— she was like the sun, shining brightly, oozing charisma. She lit up a room, and it was all you could do to chase her warmth like a desperate, frost-bitten flower.

you were still extroverted, albeit enjoying time away from people. you weren’t popular, you were a bit more reserved, a bit more closed off, but relatively well liked for your humor and academic prowess. You had one or two close friends, one of them being yunjin.

it was the summer before 2019 when she told you she wanted to be an idol. You were sleeping over at her house, since your parents were fighting, again. you, who had no real plans after highschool, whose parents didn’t really care what became of their daughter— you smiled and held her hand. You’d follow the sun anywhere it went.

you both made it onto produce 48, jumping up and down, screaming and crying for just the pure joy of it. Alone, again, with her, you held her head in your hands, finally kneeling in front of each other on the hardwood floor, your foreheads touching as you both panted, giggling and smiling still. The moment quickly broke away when you heard the door open, breaking apart faster than you could blink. That’s when it all started, you could say. When you realized you might like your best friend.

you were a rising star, praised for your smooth, detailed dance and soft, honey way of singing. You began to rank higher and higher, everyone loved you— everyone but your best friend. Everyone but who you wished would love you.

a part of you thinks if you weren’t going through your angsty teenaged romance, you wouldn’t have tried as hard to debut as you did. All your songs were about her, her hair, her voice, her eyes— everything about her. She was your reason to keep going. Maybe she deserved some credit, after all, you would never had been as popular if everyone wasn’t so curious to know who Korea’s new rising rookie was so in love with.

when yunjin was eliminated, it was the worst day of your life. The cameras caught you, with your hand over your mouth, frozen, tears falling down your face. You struggled to breath, but finally got up and ran to her. You didn’t even care if the cameras caught you, you didn’t care- you just needed her- your best friend- you needed her.

you cried for days. you tried not to bother anyone, muffling it with a pillow. you got so good at crying quietly, but everyday you’d wake up with puffy, red-rimmed eyes, and got told to cover them up. You tried to keep contact, but she “couldn’t handle the reminder,” right now, or so she said. Either way, there was a hundred messages you sent before you got that sharp reminder that you would never be anything more than a friend. maybe less, now. She was never yours. You were on borrowed time. the sun shares its warmth with the whole world, you were just naive enough to believe it was you who allowed it to be shared.

after that, Korea’s rising star fell back to earth. The pretty sunflower wilted, and broke apart. You were eliminated shortly after, and some people put two and two together. There was never enough proof for a scandal, but some people believed that you fell apart because that person you were writing about left, but they still weren’t sure who. God, they’re so dumb.

you continued to be a trainee, lying in wait.

you got called into a meeting. You had the opportunity to debut in a new group. Le Sserafim, they called it, an anagram for im fearless. A part of you laughed. you were never fearless. You were a coward. You couldn’t even tell her how much you loved her. You didn’t try to think about it, though. You hadn’t heard that name in years—

it was three years before you heard the name huh yunjin again. She was coming back, and she was going to debut. In the same group.

and like coming home after years of being lost. obviously, you were ecstatic.

all the starving, all the work, all the tears and pain and suffering— it was all for her. it’d all be worth it to feel her warmth again, to get your sun back, to end this constant winter.

You’d get to be her sunflower, again.

The heat of August in Korea was in full force, and you were wearing nothing too impressive, just a Nirvana shirt you’d had for years and a pair of baggy jeans when you saw her. To be completely transparent, you had heard her before you saw her. You could never forget that laugh. You peeked your head from behind the wall, peering down the corridor. You practically ran to her.

You beamed, barely contained excitement buzzing around you. “JEN! You’re back! Oh my god, how are you? I missed y-” you were cut off. She smiled at you, but it didn’t look.. real. It look practiced. She didn’t smile at you like how she used to.

“I’m good, and yeah, it’s great to be back. Nice to see you again, y/n,” she nodded, before she continued walking with the staff member into a different room, farther down along the corridor.

What just happened? Did she.. not like you, anymore? Did she forget? Did she move on? What were you saying— there was nothing to move on from. Stress relief, she called it. Just a distraction. Casual, easy, quick. What were you thinking? No, really, what were you thinking? She had only dated guys all throughout high school, you were probably just her experiment, just something she tried out.

You decided to find out.

You cornered her in a hallway. Not very classy, you know, but where else could you find her?

“Jen- is there a reason you stopped talking to me? I just- you probably know, we’re gonna debut together now, we need to.. work together. I just- I need to know. Did it mean nothing to you? You were my best friend,”

Yunjin looked vaguely uncomfortable, cringing towards the wall, looking to the side before she spoke. “Listen, y/n, we’re about to debut. I’m about to debut. I’ve been working on this for years, and so have you. Why would we throw it all away? We should focus on our debut, not whatever silly things we did when we were younger,” she shrugged, giving a practiced grin. “Besides, it was never serious, right? You know how I am, we both agreed we were just bored-“

“Bored? Because we were fucking bored? You’ve got to be kidding me, Jen. There’s no way you believe that- I fucking loved you-“

“Yeah, well, it’s over now. We’re debuting. Get it together,” she spat acidly, pushing past you and opening the door to the practice studio before looking over her shoulder. “I mean it, y/n. Just forget about it. It didn’t mean anything to me, and it shouldn’t have meant anything to you either,” she said icily, about to close the door. “Just call me Yunjin, now,” she muttered, door clicking shut behind her, leaving you a bitter, heart broken mess.

you didn’t follow. You figured she needed time alone- she didn’t need you, anymore. you wouldn’t have known how wrong she felt saying it, how it felt like ripping out her heart every time she watched your face break. It was for your own good, she thought. You didn’t need her ruining your chances. You both wanted this, right? To debut? That was the dream— she was doing you a favor.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think I can debut in a group,” you said seriously, your hands clasped together. “I would rather be a soloist.. I’ve already written a few songs, I’ve planned the concept— you know how popular I was during Produce 48, right? I swear, just give me a shot-“ You pleaded, beginning to ramble before he cut you off.

“Y/n, you’re an excellent singer, and a well-rounded dancer. You’re an asset, to say the least. I never really wanted you in a group to begin with. I think you have a future as a soloist,” he smiled, nodding. “Sure, why not? Tell me your ideas,”

——————————————————————————————————

it all went from there. You were gonna debut. Either way, even if you were in a group- it wouldn’t be with your best friend, Jennifer. It’d be with Huh Yunjin, idol extraordinaire. You didn’t like her, much. You didn’t want to be her flower, or anyones, for that matter. Returning to the ground was a better choice. Sunflowers were always too bright for you anyway. You preferred white carnations, anyway.

You made your debut around the same time as Le Sserafim, and it was a smash hit. You released your debut album, LIMERENCE, with the title track ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ You were widely praised, forums discussing whether or not the song was about the same person you sang about in Produce 48. They were right, of course, but they’d never guess who. You were on a music show, getting your first win. The Le Sserafim members clapped, and you smiled graciously at them, your gaze lingering on Yunjin’s before you turned to the cameras, smiling, waving, holding the trophy before you were handed the mic for an encore. You smiled, readjusting the trophy in your arms before your voice began to ring out on the loud stage.

“I’m fine, it’s cool, you can say that we are nothing but you know the truth,” you began, glancing at Yunjin not-so-subtlely.

“and guess I’m the fool, with her arms out like an angel through the car sun roof,” memories of fooling around, joking, sneaking out your parents house to meet her, to meet Yunjin. “I don’t wanna call it off, but you don’t wanna call it love,” your voice grew in volume, periodically facing and waving at the cameras, before facing Yunjin once again. You really didn’t care if this was posted on forums, saying there was something going on saying you were rude, you didn’t care— you just needed her to know.

“You only wanna be the one that I call baby,” Yunjin tensed under your gaze, averting her eyes. Sakura and Chaewon looked at her knowingly, a bit disappointed. Kazuha and Eunchae looked a bit confused on why, exactly, you were staring at Yunjin like you wanted her to explode.

“You could kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. You could say it’s just the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason,” memories of the seen texts, never responded to, flashed through Yunjin’s mind. That stupid argument a few months ago- was this about her? Who was she kidding, of course it was about her, y/n only loved her. She was secure, in that. She hated it though, she didn’t want to ruin your chances, you should move on from her— she wasn’t good for you, she never would be, you deserved better.

“Good luck, babe! Well, good luck, babe! You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. Good luck, babe! Well good luck, babe! You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling,” you walked across the stage, staring into the cameras as you said this. You winked, giving a winning smile before continuing. “I’m cliche, who cares? It’s a sexually explicit kind of love affair,” another wink. “And I cry, it’s not fair,” you gave a theatric frown, pouting. “I just need a little lovin, I just need a little air,” You kept your gaze off Yunjin for the next few lyrics, acting as if you were now pleading to the crowd, the cameras, for love. Yunjin continued to watch nervously. Why weren’t you looking at her anymore? It started to sound as if you were really, actually over her.

“Think I’m gonna call it off, even if you call it love. I just wanna love someone who calls me baby-” you began again, gaze lingering on Kazuha, winking at her general direction, waving, and turning back to the cameras. You continued to sing, entertaining the crowd before beginning to look a little more bitter, a little more jaded, a little more angry. “When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night, with your head in your hands, you’re nothing more than his wife. And when you think about me, all of those years ago, you’re standing face to face with ‘I told you so’, you know I hate to say it, ‘I told you so,’ you know I hate to say, but- I told you so!” You cried, clutching the mic as you sang passionately, years of resentment, of confusion, of anger, of regret, pain- everything you had felt for Yunjin, everything you would feel. This is what this was for.

“You could kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling, you can say it’s just the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason,” you spat, making brief eye contact with Yunjin, hatred flashing in your eyes, a mask for the hurt to wear.

“Good luck, babe, well good luck, babe. You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling. Good luck, babe. Well good luck, babe! You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling,” you sang, crescendo falling, the song ending as the crowd cheered your name, and you finally walked off stage. You walked the building until you found an isolated part with little to no people. You leaned on the vending machine next to the water fountain, sighing. You told your manager you had to use the bathroom, but it was just an excuse to slip away.

You looked up when you heard footsteps. It was the pretty Le Sserafim member you saw standing near Sakura. Kazuha, you think her name was? You’d have to double check.

“Oh, hello,” You smiled, bowing slightly.

“Ack- oh, hello! Congratulations on your win- I liked your song,” The Japanese girl bowed, clasping her hands together.

“Thank you, I quite liked your song as well,” You praised. “You’re very pretty,” you said, a slight grin on your face as the other girl blushed, spluttering with her words. “What’s your name?” “Kazuha- Nakamura Kazuha,” she responded quickly, stuttering. You figured she was Japanese from her name, and smiled warmly. “it’s nice to meet you, then. I’m Y/n,” You nodded, outstretching your hand, leaning in close to the flustered girl. She took it and you shook her hand, before hearing another set of footsteps.

you looked up to see Yunjin, who looked a tad angry. “Y/n. Congratulations on your win,” she said in a stilted, stiff tone.

“Thank you, Yunjin,” you replied back coolly, carefully practiced facade slipping back into place.

“I’ve got to get going now, Jen- oh, sorry, Yunjin,” You said mockingly, not using honorifics. There were no cameras to catch you here, anyway. You walked off, leaving a dumbfounded Kazuha and even angrier Yunjin.

“…she’s really pretty-,” Kazuha began dreamily, clasping her hands together.

“No,” Yunjin said gruffly, beginning to walk back to the group with Kazuha. “Don’t even think about it, Kazuha! She’s mine,” Yunjin exclaimed childishly, warning Kazuha a bit loudly, causing Chaewon and Sakura to turn to her. “If that song was about you, Yunjin, then I think she might not be yours as much as you think,” Sakura said plainly, tone giving no room for argument as Yunjin averted her eyes, shame and embarrassment burning her face a light red.

‘This was going to be a long comeback period,’ Yunjin thought bitterly, groaning internally as she saw Kazuha begin to scroll though y/n’s Instagram posts as they waited for their manager’s car.

ermmmm hello! I’ve never written for x reader before so I’ve only ever written in third person, bear with me here while I learn how to write this genre ><! this will be three-ish(?) parts. i don’t know who for sure y/n will end up with yet, but.. I will be posting backstories to this, as it was very yn-centric and we don’t get much of yunjins thoughts. Y/n seems delusional but I SWEAAAR she’s not. I’ll post some more works abt how they acted and stories from pd48 days… she’s not insane guys!

also white carnations symbolize pure love and GOOD LUCK. get it?GOOD LUCK. GOOD LUCK, BABE! I’m so funny.

i wrote this in like 3 hours of pure chappel roan good luck babe brain rot pleas forgive me. I’ll beta read it in a few hours after I sleep. thank you jihyoruri for letting me ramble in ur anons for so long 🙏also I love asks plssss send them. byebye now, have a good day! :3

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yourheart-inmyhands · 7 months

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Yesss I can finally request!!1!!!

Sorry I just wanted needed to know this 😔

Yan!Archons with a s/o who acts like a mother. Like with Zhongli, the s/o treats Xiao and Qiqi like their children. I feel like most of them would take advantage of it 💀💀

i'm pretty sure i've said it before but i don't particularly want kids but y'all give me awful baby fever D:<

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, uh honestly there isn't much in this one either, other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Venti thinks it’s cute, seeing the way you interact with the little kids around town. Diona and Klee adore you, loving that you always bring them snacks and treat them with such kindness. It especially warms his heart because he knows how absent their real parents are so he doesn’t mind letting you out of the house more often for their sake. He also won’t deny the absolute baby fever it gives him, the sudden urge to have children of your own taking over his mind entirely.

Venti couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched you play around with the two girls. They had insisted you help them with their hair, them having messed it up after playing tag in the city. He couldn’t deny the sudden urge to have a child of your own, a sweet little thing that was the perfect mix of the two of you. Archons couldn’t have children with humans though, so for now he was content to watch you interact with the local Mondstat kids, dreaming of the day you could have your own.

Yandere!Zhongli would find you parenting Xiao and QiQi to be quite humorous. He had spent many years trying to parent the angsty boy himself and yet you made much faster progress in a month. QiQi could also be quite the challenge and yet you had the patience of an Archon themself with her. A true gift to him and both the kids.

Zhongli watched as you scolded Xiao for getting hurt again, leaving QiQi to find him and bring him back to BuBu Pharmacy. It was quite funny to see the boy get so flustered, hands fiddling with his polearm. Zhongli had gotten on the boy's case many times about this and he never seemed to take it to heart, but you had a different effect on the male. Even QiQi seemed to naturally trust your judgment despite her forgetful nature. It warmed Zhongli’s heart to see you getting along so well with the two, loving her naturally you seemed to fall into the parental role.

Yandere!Raiden doesn’t see any use in children, after everything with Kunikuzushi she simply has no desire to be in the parental role. She also believes it to be unnecessary for you as the two of you will never have children together. Despite this she will still allow you to interact with the local children, namely Sayu.

Raiden sighed as she saw you playing with the young girl in the courtyard, a lighthearted game of tag being played amongst the two of you. Sayu often came here to hide out from Kano Nana, enjoying the sunlight naps that you two would take or the fun, simple games you’d play. Tag was her favorite but she was also fond of hide and seek as well as eye spy. While Raiden would never outright tell you that she disapproved, she’d never join you either, making it known her opinion from across the way. Her subtle glare and cold shoulder all the proof you need.

Yandere!Furina doesn’t like kids, she thinks that she should be the only one to get your undivided attention and that she’s plenty fun and entertaining. Why do you want to hang out with kids when she's already baby?

An annoyed huff left Furina’s as you continued to interact with the Melusines. You two were supposed to be out on a date together, not hanging out with the Melusines. It was Neuvillette’s job to look after them, not yours! You should be paying attention to her, giving her your love and time and focusing on what she has to say. She’s certainly going to throw a fit if it continues, and even more so if you just try to brush it off. You are Furina’s partner and you should be giving her all your love.

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munsonsreputation · 1 year

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HITS DIFFERENT ('CAUSE IT'S YOU)

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: [7.6K]

warnings: warnings: no use of y/n, exes to lovers, cursing (plenty), angsty, mentions of alcohol and reader throwing up, reader and steve arguing (just a bit), angst mixed in with humor (my personal fave), reader crying (she does a lot), mis communication, uses of a home phone and answering machine, stupid idiots confessing their love <3

summary: you never would have thought that steve harrington could ever break your heart...after all, he was all that you wanted. however, after a sudden breakup you find yourself struggling to move on from him. moving on was always easy for you to do, but you just don't understand why you can't get over steve. after a night out with nancy and robin you question if love really is a thing or if it's just a complete lie.

Two weeks.

Fourteen days.

The most grueling three hundred and sixty-six hours of your life, and here you were sat at the bar with your best friends on either side of you. The two of them buying you drinks and talking shit about your ex-boyfriend to try to make you feel a little better.

But in all fairness, it’s the best you felt in those two weeks, so you’d take a night full of shots and half-drunk euphoria over one full of tears and sadness in bed.

“Another round?” The bartender glided over with a smile on his unshaven face as he compiled the shot glasses on a plate.

You swung your head, cringing as you bit down on the lime slice to chase the vodka burning your throat. The three of you were on a roll, drinking ever since you entered the club without a care for stopping.

Nancy hiccuped in, looking between you and Robin, knowing you should cool it on the drinking, “M-maybe some water?” she requested as the two of you nodded in agreement.

He laughed freely at all three of you girls’ halt on shots. “Coming right up,” he spun around, grabbing a few waters and clean glasses.

Robin turned her eyes towards you, her fist lazily reinforcing her head as she could feel the alcohol slowing hitting her, “Are ya having fun?”

“Hmmm…” You pretended to think for a moment before putting on your best smile, “’course I am, you know I always have fun with you two.”

Robin and Nancy shot a concerning look at each other while you were distracted by the water pushed towards you, downing the glass.

They knew things weren’t easy for you, at least right now. They had spent the last few days trying to convince you to go out and try to have fun in hopes of helping you get over the untimely breakup. After spending the first week locked up in your apartment, wallowing, they had tried to get you to come out and get some much needed girl’s time.

And for a minute they thought that they had cracked you, getting you to tag along at the beach, but unfortunately the experience just made you feel worse about yourself. Seeing too many happy couples splashing in the water or writing each other’s initials in the sand around a big heart—you were totally broken hearted.

Nancy and Robin had to practically drag you back to your apartment, a sobbing mess. What they didn’t know was that the last date that you and Steve went on was to that exact beach. Memories of you and him running barefoot across the sand and splashing each other with the salty ocean water.

Thankfully, you had gotten your shit together, or at least tried to for tonight. You were grateful to have friends who were so committed to making sure you were ok in times like these. But they could also see through the facade. You hadn’t mentioned his name all night. The first in the last couple of days where all you could think and talk about was him.

“I know, but you can also talk to us about anything you’re feeling,” Nancy started, her hands coming up to warmly caress your shoulder, “We’re always gonna be here for you.”

You inhaled, eyes glittering with a sheen of salty liquid and a genuine smile creeping onto your face as you threw your arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug. You could hear the muffled laughter of Robin’s voice behind you through the music, feeling her wrap her arms around the two of you and join in on the hug.

“I love you guys.” You murmured, feeling their smile and giggle on your skin, reciting it back to you before they stretched away.

Again, the bartender stood behind the bar, arms crisscrossed over his rib cage as he rose his brows towards you, “So what did he do? Cheat or ghost you?”

Your eyes squinted at him, evidently taken aback by his intrusion as you set your glass down, “W-what?”

He snickered inwardly, leaning closer to the bar, nearly face to face with you before you scooched back, “No group of girls just comes to a club on a Friday night crying for no reason, y’know?”

The bartender tried to be silly, laughing at himself and towards you and your friends like you’d even give him a giggle. Instead, you wanted to reach over the table and give him a piece of your mind. That yeah, maybe you were here sitting at a bar crying over Steve Harrington, but Steve would never cheat or ghost you.

Never.

But before you could even begin explaining that to him, Nancy cut in. Both of her palms resting on the surface as she pushed herself forward, face to face with the man, staring him down and watching him cower.

“Look it’s none of your business. We’re here to have a good time, not to explain ourselves to an eavesdropper.” Her voice spiked with firmness, standing her ground while the bartender smirked, holding his hands up in defense, and backed away.

You felt a squeeze on your shoulder coming from Robin who gave you an encouraging smile, but you could tell that beneath that she was worried for you. Most times you wouldn’t hesitate to put someone like him in his place for being so invasive, but these days it just felt like you didn’t have the energy for anything, let alone picking fights with strangers.

Nancy settled back comfortably into her chair and you mouthed a “thank you” towards her, and all she did was shake her head and give you those comforting eyes that let you know that she would’ve done it either way for you.

You didn’t want to feel like you needed to defend yourself, but part of you wished that you didn’t have to be here in the first place. That if Steve didn’t break your heart, you’d just be with him and the rest of your friends back at your apartment watching a shit-load of movies until you fell asleep.

But instead you were here, moping and trying to numb away your pain with drinks, like a goddamn rom-com. Except your prince charming wasn’t going to waltz in any minute and beg for your forgiveness.

You wished you could’ve just spent your night forgetting this interaction with that stupid bartender even happened, but as swiftly as the privacy came, it died once again with him invading your personal bubble.

A tray of freshly poured shots slid its way towards you, along with the cough of the man who gained your attention. “The shots are on the house and it’s my bad…I didn’t mean to make you girls angry.”

You took a deep breath, shoulders dropping heavily, only reaching for a glass and toasting it up to him, “It’s whatever…no hard feelings, dude.”

With that you chugged the alcohol, not bothering to even chase it with lime or salt, like you had been doing all night. Nancy and Robin did the same, mumbling a “thank you” to the man and taking their own shot.

He should’ve left it at that, but of course just like any other man, they always had to go and ruin it.

“Buuut…” his tone condescending with just that one word alone, “love is a complete and utter lie anyway so try not to think so hard about it.”

His lips twisted up in a smirk as if he had just played you, but you were really just not having any of it anymore. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol beginning to really kick in and give you an edge or if you were really just ticked off, but you didn’t think twice before reaching for Nancy’s half-full cup of water and chucking the rest of it at the man.

“You’re such an asshole!” You slurred noisily followed by the gasps of the other bystanders who watched it unfold.

“Oh, my god!” Robin shrieked, clamping a hand over her mouth as she watched the man completely lose his shit over some water.

It all happened so fast, and you really were about to go across the bar and throw every single drink at this man just so you could release all this pent up sadness and frustration, but something stopped you. That familiar tune beginning to play over the speakers. That song that was Steve’s favorite blaring in your ears and it just made you want to cry.

You never would have thought you’d ever throw a drink into any person’s face. Never ever. Sure, you’d fantasize about it, and wish you could to ever rude person you met.

But you never did…not until tonight.

You don’t know what overcame you, but it all just felt so wrong.

Nancy quickly helped you up out of the barstool, while Robin exhanged a few curse words and thrown middle fingers at the man before following you two outside of the club before you would have been escorted out by security.

You couldn’t control the sobs that were leaving your mouth and tears slipping down your cheeks. This isn’t what you wanted at all, and this wasn’t how the night was supposed to play out.

You had it all planned out in your head.

You three would just spend the night drinking your worries away and dancing to overplayed club music until your feet hurt and you would have to hail a cab barefoot down the street.

But of course, nothing was ever how it was supposed to be.

“Here, let’s sit,” Nancy suggested, wandering a few blocks away from the place and helping you sit down on the curb.

“Oh honey,” Robin murmured, coming to the other side of you and wrapping her arms across your shoulders, “Don’t listen to that prick. He has no idea what he’s talking about!”

Nancy ran her palms up and down your arms, trying to warm you up from the chilly night air, “Mhm! He’s probably just angry because he’s never been in love before.”

With your breath uneasy, you lifted your face from your hands, revealing the mascara smeared cheeks where the salty tears continued to pour.

“Love isn’t a lie! It can’t be…”

You looked at them in disbelief like this breakup was so catastrophic…because it was and it was painting you blue. The kind of messy and discolored shades of every blue fusing together and turning your soul into grey goop.

You were a mess.

Nance gulped, not really sure of what to say because your emotions had never got this bad. Back in the first week of the breakup, she and Robin would hold you while you cried and told them how lonely you were, but this was something different.

“A—and no one is saying it’s a lie! Love isn’t a lie, hun.” She told you, stroking your hair back from where it was sticking to your wet cheeks.

You couldn’t help collapsing into Nancy’s lap, hiding your face and hands on top of her where you wept violently. She felt the strings tugging on her heart, watching you break down, rubbing circles on your back to try to get you to calm down.

Her eyes narrowing towards Robin and mouthing, “say something to make her feel better!”

Robin wasn’t so good with these emotions, either. Smacking her hand on top of her forehead and opening her mouth to try to form words, but she struggled a bit, but not before Nancy smacked her leg lightly, begging her to say something quick.

“Y-you know…ummm love isn’t a complete lie…it’s just that ummm, you know sometimes things just don’t work out, but when you meet someone and it feels right, you just know…you know that it’s love.”

You rocked your head in your hands, your heart being pulled in a million different directions, yet still falling apart because you knew that you only ever had that feeling with Steve. He was the person who felt right. And you feared that it was always going to be him.

Nancy and Robin continued rubbing reassuring circles on your back, and you even felt the warmth of a Robin’s jacket being draped across body. There was no good reason as to why your two best friends should be doing this right now. And you probably wouldn’t have blamed them if they had just left you here to fend for yourself because you were a total mess and you really felt like your sadness was contagious—infecting them and ruining their night.

They had their own significant others, Jonathan and Vicky, who probably would have given them a better night than tonight. At least, they had people coming home to them, probably thinking about what they were up to, maybe something fun and looking forward to receiving one of those drunk calls asking them to come and pick them up. But no, they were here, already sobered up and comforting their heartbroken wreck of a friend.

“B-but what if it’s really a lie?” You hiccuped quietly, withdrawing your head from Nancy’s lap, and struggling to swipe away at the never ending puddle of tears.

Robin adjusted her jacket over your shoulders, hugging you firmly and Nance doing the same on the opposite side.

“Don’t think like that, babe…you know you’re a total romantic.” Robin replied

You sniffled, glancing over at her with a crushed presence, “I don’t know a-anymore, maybe love just isn’t meant for me,”

“No, no, no, don’t say that.” Nancy scolds gently, moving to hold on to your hand where you take a shaky breath and look up at the sky.

You wished that there was a shooting star, just so you could make a wish and rewind time. You were so pathetically drunk yet sober off your ass and feelings right now.

“It’s true! Maybe Steve will find a new girlfriend who will give him the world and take my place and love him the way that I—”

You swallowed thickly, not even wanting to finish that sentence because it made you so sick. Your senses were just filled with all things Steve and even when you closed your eyes to try to forget about it, all you could visualize was Steve laughing and kissing another girl who wasn’t you.

It was your deepest fears coming true in the bounds of your imagination, yet maybe it was true. Maybe Steve already found someone else who was better than you, the girl who you could never be. Maybe he was already moved on, meanwhile you were letting him make a mess and a fool out of you.

It made you sick.

The lump in your larynx rose despite your attempts to swallow it, and out of nowhere your hands forced outwards, shoving Robin and Nancy away, while you jerked forward and threw up on the street.

“Oh, Jesus.” Nancy sighed, hastily rising up and backing away to give you a minute.

Meanwhile, Robin clenched one hand over her mouth, while the other gathered your hair and held it back for you.

“Yup, just let it all out.” She mumbled, grimacing as you continued to do so.

Nance searched around, catching a payphone a short walk away, “I’m gonna call her a ride and try to find her some water.”

“Be quick, please.” Robin hailed out before she jogged off to the payphone.

She really didn’t know who to call, and for a second she contemplated Steve, but after everything that had happened tonight, she didn’t want to put you in a situation that you quite literally weren’t ready for.

Jonathan would have been an option, but she knew her boyfriend and at this hour he was probably dead asleep and would not wake up.

Then there was Vicky, which would have been a great option, however she still didn’t have her license and the last thing they needed was for her to get pulled over for not having one.

So she dialed the numbers, hoping that the person would be up and willing to come into town to pick you up.

“C’mon, c’mon, please, pick up.” She tapped her foot impatiently and the phone continued to ring, for a moment she was about to lose all her hope and hang up.

But thankfully, he picked up, “Munson residence, what can I do for you at this hour?”

Nance could practically feel the smirk on his face once he answer, “Eddie, you need to get your ass down here before she quiet literally drops down drunk on the side of the road.”

There was a heavy sigh before she heard some shuffling in the background, “I’ll be right there.”

How Nancy got a bottle of water from the same bartender that you threw a glass of water at was kinda funny, but nevertheless you were thankful. You were half drunk, drowsy, propping your head on Robin’s shoulder while Nance occasionally prompted you to drink some more water, trying to get you to sober up quickly. But what you really needed was an aspirin and your bed.

Thankfully, after what felt like the longest twenty minutes of your life, you could hear the sighs of reliefs coming from Robin and Nancy as they followed the white van coming closer down the street.

“C’mon, hun, time to get up,” Robin declared, wrapping one of your arms across her shoulder and Nancy did the same, trying to get you up on your feet without you flopping down.

“What the fuck!” Eddie hollered out the passenger window, hitting the brakes and placing the van in park before getting out.

You heard him, more than saw him, due to the fact that you were still buzzed, but could barely raise your head to meet his eyes. Instead, just seeing a distorted view of his converse that he always wore.

“Now’s not the time for a tangent, Edward—fuck!” Nancy winced, struggling to keep you up.

“Jesus Christ, just give her to me,” Eddie sputtered, drawing your full weight and essentially lugging you to the passenger side of the van where Robin opened the door wide.

He turned to the two girls, looking at them seriously, “Before she goes in, did she already throw up?”

Nancy nodded, pointing to the side of the road where your barf still stayed in a pile that made everyone want to gag, “Like everything in her system.”

“Okay, I’ll get her home safe and make sure she calls you before she heads to bed,” He told them and they nodded, watching Eddie gingerly place you in the passenger seat and buckle you in.

“Feel better, babe, we’ll talk to you in a bit.” Nancy exhaled, giving your thigh a pat while Robin opted for a kiss on the forehead before shutting your door quietly.

You could only barely hear the conversation that the two girls and Eddie were having outside. Their voices a subdued murmur, not wanting to disturb your journey to sleep, but also not wanting you to hear them explain the situation that had happened that lead up to this. But you really paid them no mind, just resting your head back against the cushion and listening to the low music that played.

It was only a few more minutes before Eddie finally got into the driver’s seat, glancing over at you. “Ready to go?”

“Hmmm.” You uttered, keeping your eyes tight and feeling the van begin to move.

You weren’t really sure where things stood between you and Eddie, considering the fact that he was closer to Steve and even let him crash at his trailer after you two had broken up and you kept the apartment. You weren’t even sure if Eddie liked you all that much. After all this time dating Steve, he was one of the friends that was hard to read.

Sometimes he’d be super friendly and other times he’d be a little closed off. It just depended on the day, but you had a feeling that you were the last person that Eddie wanted to see tonight.

“I’m sorry for making you drive all the way down here for me…I-I should’ve just told them to call me a cab—”

He grunted, swaying his head and peeping over at you shortly, “And what if that cab driver was a creep? Just—just consider it a favor and let it be done.”

“D-do you hate me or something?” You opened your eyes, looking at him blankly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you dated my best friend since like forever…I can’t hate you.” He chuckled to himself, but still you didn’t seem convinced.

“But we’re broken up now, so technically you can hate me.” You responded, pushing yourself to sit up rather than slouch.

He looked over at you, perhaps thinking you were about to yack again, but you just looked at him, waiting for a response.

“Look,” He sighed heavily, “You made Steve really happy, the happiest I’ve ever fuckin’ seen him in our whole friendship. There isn’t a goddamn reason for me to hate you for doing that. If anything, I owe you because him being that happy made him a better friend, alright. So stop thinking that I hate you, because I don’t.”

You were a little shocked to be honest, because Eddie never really got deep when it came to you. So maybe Eddie really didn’t hate you. That at least made you feel a little better.

When you didn’t respond, Eddie spoke again, hoping that you would at least say something for the rest of the drive.

“You know, Steve isn’t doing so well, either. He’s still crashing at my place and when I got the call from Nance tonight, I contemplated telling him it was about you, but…I don’t think right now either of you are ready to talk at three in the morning.” He snickered, smiling a bit when he saw you scorn jokingly and brush back your hair.

“And so, what did you tell him?” You marveled out loud, turning your eyes to the road, “That you had to deliver some weed?”

“Maybe, something like that.” He shrugged feeling so predicable.

Eddie honestly didn’t know what to make of this whole situation. A part of him feeling a little bad for not telling his best friend that his ex-girlfriend was totally wasted and needed a way home. But he also understood that you were really vulnerable right now and to tell Steve would blow the whole situation out of proportion and probably would’ve made everything between the two of you even worse.

If there was any hope for reconsolidation, it would be best for the two of you two meet when you weren’t wasted and the other worried out of their mind about your wellbeing.

The drive to your apartment wasn’t long or as awkward as you thought it was going to be. It was actually quite comfortable. Eddie made jokes every once in a while when you got too quiet, wondering if you were about to throw up and that he would never forgive you if you threw up in his van.

“Home sweet home.” Eddie announced, guiding you into your place and shutting the door behind you.

You flickered the lights on, cursing at the sudden brightness that only made your head hurt even more than it already was. Eddie looked around that the space and a lot of the areas were bare after Steve had packed up his things with him. It wasn’t a complete mess, but there were boxes of tissues scattered around the coffee table and kitchen area. And there seemed to be more wine bottles behind the kitchen—your way of coping.

“I’m gonna get out of these clothes. Just grab anything you want to eat or drink if you’re hungry.” You waved off, stumbling towards your bedroom to grab a fresh pair of clothes to change into.

Again, with your energy so depleted you just didn’t have it in you to take the time to shower, so instead you opted for a makeup wipe, brushing your teeth, and changing into sweats.

“Here she is.” Eddie spoke with a half full mouth of cereal, passing the phone to you once you came back out to the living room.

You rubbed at your eyes, yawning loudly, as you placed the phone beside your ear, “H-hello?”

“Hey hun, you feeling a little better?” It was Robin on the other line.

“Just a little, gonna take an aspirin and head to bed…and look, I’m sorry for—”

“Nope!” She cut you off quickly, “don’t apologize, sometimes it happens, but I’m just glad that we were there to make sure you got home safe.”

You nodded, drawing a deep breath, “Yeah, thanks for that too.”

Robin could sense the tiredness in your voice and knew it was time you head to bed.

“Get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow ok? I love you, sugar!”

You laughed faintly at the kissy noises she made, “Love you too, Robs.”

When you hung up the phone, your eyes followed the ruckus taking place in the storage closet beside the kitchen. You got up, seeing as though Eddie has pulled from the bottom layer of your paper towel tower and caused a few to come plummeting down.

“Sorry, you were all out of some in the kitchen.” Eddie apologized while you bent down, helping him pick up a few rolls and stack them back up.

But something peeking out behind the stack caught your eyes, a dark blue piece of fabric that had been wedged behind it. You rose your brows, tugging at the garment until it came out into view and just like that you wanted to cry all over again.

It was the stupid blue bucket hat that Steve had been wearing on your last date at the beach.

You couldn’t remember why it was there to begin with, but it was just like another memory of him seeping back into your life. You had thought that he packed away everything, all his clothes, his little trinkets—leaving no trace of himself behind, yet this stupid hat was still here.

“A-are you ok?” Eddie asked slowly, watching your eyes being to water, and you went stoic.

You sniffled, shaking your head, and rolling your eyes at yourself for being so dramatic. “It’s the hat that Steve wore on our last date.”

“Oh…umm, I’m sorry.” He said, cursing at himself for being so clumsy and causing you to find it.

You shook your head, lips sealed closely as you tried to breathe through your tears, “No, it’s fine, I just thought he took everything with him and now it’s just like, right in my face and it sucks.”

“I-I can give it back to him if you want?” Eddie offered, holding his hands out ready for you to want it as far away as possible, but you didn’t hand it over.

Instead, you wiped away your tears, shaking your head again while you examined it, “I’ll keep it…you know, for memory and whatnot.”

He didn’t question for how weird that must sound, but instead reached forward and wrapped his arms around you, giving you a hug. One that he knew you probably needed. The one that he rarely gave you when you two were friends. If this breakup was hard for Steve, it was even harder for you, and just by the looks of it, he could tell that was true.

“You rest up and feel better tomorrow, alright?” He said, pulling away from the hug and looking at you through your teary eyes.

Your lip quivered, trying to control the sobbing from happening because you knew Eddie couldn’t be of comfort like Nancy and Robin. He told you goodnight, before giving you one last hug and letting himself out. It felt lonelier than usual, locking up the place and heading to your bedroom where you couldn’t even find it in yourself to sleep on Steve’s side of the bed.

You always stayed on your side, wishing that he was there to fill that empty space. To just hold you tight and tell you that everything was going to be fine.

And so maybe his side of the bed was still empty, but you still had a small piece of him there with you. With that, you clutched that stupid hat close to your chest while you faced towards his side of the bed. Tears still slipping and being soaked up by your blankets as you cried yourself to sleep.

Sleep seemed to be the only place where you’d find an ounce of peace, but only for a little, because as soon as a dream would begin, it would only end in a nightmare that woke you up. It was no different, except for the fact that this time you dreamed of that beach, the one where you and Steve walked hand in hand, telling each other anything.

It felt so real, seeing him there and feeling his hand against yours. His laughter was still contagious, just as much as his smile was. Then, like that…he just disappeared, like he had been swept away in the current.

You were left on that beach all alone, feeling the warmth of the sun piercing through your skin like a death by a thousand cuts and the sand beneath your feet burning you with each lonely step you took.

“Fuck,”

Groaning, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Hair disheveled, eyes swollen with bags under them, and you totally looking like you just had the life sucked out of you from the night before. You knew that it wasn’t acceptable even if you were so heartbroken. You spat out the mouthwash and immediately got into the hot shower, trying to scrub off any memories of last night and let it go down the drain.

You pulled on some fresh clothes, hoping that a little bit of self-care would make you feel better and tackle on the rest of the day, despite you waking up at nearly noon, but the effort was what mattered.

Walking into the living room, you passed the home phone, noticing the alarming amount of red numbers flashing, indicating you had some messages that Robin and Nancy probably left after calling you all morning. And you were right, more than half were from Robin and Nancy, calling and checking in, telling you to call them as soon as you got the message, and if you didn’t that they’d be stopping by to check on you.

You pressed play on the next message, already assuming it was one of them, but it wasn’t.

“Hey, sorry, I know you’re probably still asleep and you have a massive hangover, but I might have accidentally told Steve about what happened last night and now he’s—”

“Fuck!”

Your eyes enlarged at Eddie’s message and you immediately picked up the phone, dialing his number and hoping you could get him to retract that statement he passed on to Steve because you really didn’t want him to know you were crying over him last night.

One. Two. Thee. Four. Five rings and still he didn’t pick up.

He was probably telling Steve everything about last night and how reckless you were. Throwing a drink in a stranger’s face? Throwing up on the side of the road? Being so wasted you couldn’t even lift yourself off the ground? And for godsake, sobbing over that stupid hat?

You were totally done for.

Sitting on the couch with your face in your hands, you were in disbelief.

How could Eddie just go and spill about what had happened?

You thought he was your friend?

Maybe that was just all a part of his plan?

What if Eddie only accepted giving you a ride home so he could tell Steve about how you were handling the breakup, only for him to make fun of you for how stupid you’ve been acting?

“God, I am such an idiot!” You shouted at yourself, shaking your head in your hands, before hearing the familiar key turn in the door.

It was obvious Nancy or Robin with their spare key you gave them. It had been hours since they left the message and they were here to check on you. Thank god they were because you felt like you were going insane and you didn’t know if you could do it alone.

The high-pitched squeak that came from the knob turning prepared you for your friends who would probably bombard you with questions before you got to tell them anything. You were ready for it, hearing their shouts of, “why didn’t you call?” or “we were worried sick!” but you didn’t hear that.

Instead, you heard the familiar footsteps of the person you could never mistake. He always had a way of walking, especially when he tried to tiptoe because he didn’t want to wake you up. The floorboards creaked a little, and you heard a hiss and then you turned your head.

It was Steve.

You stood up, hands glued to your side where you stared at him, not knowing what to say or how to feel. He looked like he felt the same, standing there and looking around in order to avoid the prolonged eye contact you knew he couldn’t hold.

“What are you doing here?”

You tightened your lips, staying still with your arms crossing behind your back. You pinched and pulled at your fingers trying to get yourself to stabilize your heartbeat that felt like it was pounding out your chest.

Steve stuttered for a bit, really contemplating if he should have knocked instead of using his key, but he was worried out of his mind and thought that you were passed out in the bathroom choking on your own vomit. But obviously he was wrong and now he looked like a total creep, breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s apartment.

You rocked your head at him somewhat, prompting a response that came faster than he could formulate the words in his head.

“I, uhh, I didn’t mean to break in but, Eddie told me what happened—” He paused, squinting his eyes at himself, as he backtracked, “well, actually he didn’t really tell me, I forced him to tell me or else I would have flushed the rest of his stash because I knew he was lying.”

This son of a bitch.

Steve shook his head, cursing at himself for getting carried away, “Anyway…he told me, and I just wanted to come here and check on you because you never really get wasted like that, and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Your jaw clenched in a way to try to block the tears from sliding, because if you didn’t have the strength it in you, you would’ve sunk down onto the floor, breaking down and telling him that you were in fact not fine at all.

“I’m fine…can we just pretend like this didn’t happen?” You spoke under your breath, stepping away and trying to pick up random things lying around in order to avoid looking at him any longer.

He sighed, kicking off his shoes, and faltered behind you. “Why are you being like this?”

You rolled your eyes, brushing past him and throwing away the stray wrappers into the trash bin, “Like what?” you countered, still not meeting his views.

“Avoidant and stuff. You just keep acting like you want nothing to do with me.” He huffed, bending down to meet your stance.

Now that ticked you off and made you snap your head back towards him, eyes shooting daggers at his boldness.

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one who wanted nothing to do with me and packed up your things and left.” Your voice dripping with a mix of resentment and hurt as you brushed past him harshly and made your way back into the living room.

His mouth opened in an “o” not knowing how to respond to that, because he really did do what you said, but it wasn’t what he meant.

“J-just let me explain myself alright, I swear that was the last thing I wanted to do—”

You let out a sarcastic laugh, biting your tongue. “Yeah, sure, I guess everyone just breaks up with their significant other for no reason.”

He threw himself down onto the couch, tugging at his hair, “There was a reason, alright! I was scared…terrified that you wanted more in life but didn’t know how to tell me and I was just holding you back.”

That was the first time you had ever heard this explanation. For the past two weeks, the only thing that kept replaying in your mind was Steve sitting you down in this very living room and telling you he wasn’t sure if it was working out anymore and wanted you to venture out into the world. That was it. No other deeper explanation or closure, just those words, and the scene of you frozen on the couch with tears in your eyes as you watched him pack and leave.

Right now, you were frozen in front of him, standing with your arms crossed and tapping your foot against the wooden floors, not knowing what to say.

He was the one who spoke, letting up on his hair and resting his hands on his knees instead, “And, you know, I’m not doing too well either, I still think of you and worry about what you’re doing and if you’re—”

You turned your nose up, voicing cracking as you cut him off, “And all I do is cry every day and I don’t understand why…why I can’t just pick up the pieces that you left here and move on.”

Steve knew you like the back of his hand, and that familiar croak in your throat let him know that you were only seconds away from crying, but still he didn’t stop you. He knew that there was so much that you needed to say and after the way that he had left, it was only right he sat here and listen to you.

“It’s…it’s like I’m just waiting for a bus that never comes—”

He furrowed his brows, “Are you using metaphors right now?”

You looked at him in disbelief, sighing as you threw your hands out in the air and nodded, “Jesus Steve, yes, I am, ok! I’m using fucking metaphors because I’m trying to tell you that I’m still in love with you and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”

He followed you, pacing the space in front of him, back and forth, with your fingers running through your hair as you spilled your guts out to him.

“I don’t get why I’m like this and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I just accept the fact that you broke up with me and move on with my life? And the funny thing is, I should be able to! I should be able to just rip the bandaid off and act like an asshole and pretend you and I never existed!” You turned to him, swallowing thickly as you laughed to yourself, hating the situation you were in right now, but you never stopped talking.

Then you looked up at the ceiling, tugging at your own roots as you continued.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, in the 8th grade Ben Pritchett broke up with me right before winter formal and I thought that it was going to be the end of the world because I thought he was the love of my life. I thought that I was going to spend the rest of 8th grade miserable and crying my eyes out over him, but I didn’t!”

You looked at him with a hopeless smile and you could see a glint of his own, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous you sounded for comparing him to your 8th grade boyfriend.

“I moved on with my life! Just like that!” You snapped your fingers and watched him blink a bit, “But with you,” your fingers pointed and you stared at him unsure, you shrugged your shoulders, “with you I just can’t…”

The waterworks began, and you finally didn’t care about staring at him for so long. If you could, you would jump into the ocean of his eyes because of how they made you feel. That even if you were standing here ranting to him about unnecessary shit, his eyes still brought you that sense of relief that you had been dying to feel for the last two weeks.

Steve moved forward gradually, taking your hands and holding them, rubbing circles on the tops of your skin, while you closed your eyes and bit back a sob. You let him keep his hands on yours, not daring to back away or drop him because you didn’t know if this was going to be the last time, and if it was you wanted to make the moment last as long as possible.

“I—I see you everywhere…every corner of this apartment, in all the faces I see—I see you. Everything leads back to you for some reason. All of these fucking questions that I’ve been asking myself. Why can’t I get over Steve? Why is this heartbreak hitting me differently than the one I experienced when I was thirteen?”

You squeezed on his hands, opening your teary eyes to see him through the film of salt, “Because it’s you, Steve…I’m still in love with you and I can’t get over you.”

That four letter word: Love. That’s all that he needed to hear, and it’s the word that had been dying to come off your tongue again. You loved Steve with every single ounce of your being. As if he was a drug running through your veins and you needed him to survive. You needed the one person who believed in you when no one else did.

You needed Steve, but you were terrified that he didn’t need you anymore.

“You didn’t listen to my message did you?” Steve asked quietly, letting go of one of your hands and bringing them up to wipe away at the tears on your cheek.

“W-what?” You ordered dumb-founded, feeling as though Steve didn’t hear that whole monologue that you just made up out of nowhere.

He grinned lightly, withdrawing his hand from your cheek and blindlessly, reaching over to the phone and clicking the play button on the leftover messages you had left.

You felt your breathing stop when you heard his voice echoing through the staticky speakers. There was no way that Steve called you last night. You had played the messages on your machine, and all you got were messages from Nancy, Robin, and Eddie. But you also forgot that your outdated machine sorted your messages from new to old, meaning Steve must have called while you were out last night.

“Hey, it’s me….I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to pick up the phone and call, maybe it’s because I’m a little scared that you’re going to delete it once you hear my voice, but I just really have a bunch of things to say and I guess it’s better now than never right?”

You fastened a hand over your mouth, whimpering quietly into it, while you shook your head, not believing that you could have missed this. If only you had stayed home last night, you would have been there to pick up the phone and talk to him. Steve clutched your other hand still, pushing up his glasses that fell down the bridge of his nose while he watched your reaction to the rest of his message.

“I’m an idiot for the way things went down and I should have explained myself better, but you know…I suck at communication—but that’s still not the point! I made the biggest mistake of letting you go like that and just assuming that’s what you wanted because I know deep down it’s not….it’s probably the last thing you ever wanted, and it’s all my fault.”

There was a pause, him clearing his throat and sniffling as he was crying softly.

“But I’m going to make an even bigger mistake if I don’t tell you that I’m still in love with you. That yeah, I might be the dumbest guy out there for letting go of the most amazing girl, but I’m not about to lose her if there’s still a slight chance that she might still feel the same. I love you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

Then he hung up the phone with a loud clank.

And as quickly as Steve had broken your heart, he soon patched it back together. There was a softness to your eyes now, like you had accepted everything. And Steve looked like he was awaiting for any sort of reaction good or bad, due to your silence.

“I-I don’t expect you to take me back that easily. I mean after all I’m an idiot but I just hope that—mph!”

You clutched his face, pressing your lips against one another, feeling like a wave of happiness washing over you the second you got to be this close to a feeling that you thought that was almost gone forever. Steve didn’t hesitate to move his lips against yours, pulling you closer to him until you were toppling on top of him, and lost in everything that was you and Steve.

“You’re an idiot..but mine.” You muttered against him, feeling his smile creeping against your skin before you laughed, kissing him again.

And again. And more times than you can count.

Relishing him and forgetting about the sadness. And sure, maybe you were equally the idiot who took him back too easily, but if there was one thing that the two of you were sure of, it was that this kiss and this love hit a little different because it would always be you two.

A/N: My first full length fic since i've been back!!! im super proud of this one and want to thank @translatemunson for giving me the idea <;3 i love you effie!!!! hits different is also one of my favorite songs and i wonder if taylor really did scrap it off the face of the internet because it's going to be in the Barbie movie--what do you guys think??? anyways, again thank you all for the outpour of support and reblogs, comments, and likes would be greatly appreciated!!! 🌃🕯💘

leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!!

taglist: @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world @givemeth @steveharringtonswife @astolenkiss @loving-and-dreaming @awkotaco24

#munsonsreputation #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #steve x y/n #steve harrington #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagines #taylor swift x stranger things #steve harrington x taylor swift

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natashasfilms · 1 year

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To Be Together Again

Summary: After your divorce, you still find yourself hopelessly in love with Steve, despite the challenges and complexities of co-parenting your daughter together. As you try to move on, your daughter has a plan of her own to reunite you and Steve, making you question if second chances at love really are possible.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, language, no use of y/n, no use of daughter’s name, exes to lovers, divorced parents, not really unrequited love, second chance romance, insecurity, making out, implied smut, happy ending

Word Count: 5,394

Note: I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything but I have a bit of free time so I’ve decided to write an angsty but fluffy one shot! Hope you enjoy! (Also I have nothing against blondes, I just wanted to add a little humor into it!)

Stranger Things Masterlist

You stepped out of your car and took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. It was always nerve-wracking to see Steve, the father of your daughter, even though you shared custody. You had missed him terribly since your divorce a year ago, but you tried not to let it show.

You were meeting Steve at a local park to drop off your daughter, and as you approached, you saw him standing by the swings. He looked just as handsome as ever, with his thick hair and brown eyes. You couldn't help but feel a pang of longing as you looked at him.

“Hey.” He said, his voice warm and familiar. “How are you doing?”

You smiled weakly. “I’m good. How about you?”

“I’m good.” He replied, his eyes drifting to your daughter as she ran up to him. “Hey, sweetie! How was your weekend with Mom?”

As Steve greeted your daughter, you stepped back and watched them, feeling a sense of bittersweet sadness wash over you. This was the life you had always wanted, but it was slipping through your fingers.

You cleared your throat, getting ready to leave. “Well, I’ll see you both later.” You said, smiling. “I love you, honey.”

Your daughter frowned, hating that you had to leave. “Can’t you stay for a little bit? The three of us haven’t been together in so long.” She whined, causing your heart to clench.

You hesitated, feeling the weight of your daughter's words. As you looked up, you met Steve’s gaze. He seemed to understand your hesitation, and after a few moments of silence, he spoke up. “Yeah, she’s right. It’s been a while since the three of us have spent time together. Why don’t you stick around for a little bit?”

You nodded, feeling grateful for the invitation. “Sure, I can stay for a bit.”

You watched as your daughter ran off to play on the swings, and Steve turned to you. “Are you coming to Robin’s party this weekend?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m planning on it. It’ll be good to see everyone.”

Steve shifted on his feet, and you could tell there was something he wanted to say. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to mention. I’ve been seeing someone, and I was thinking about bringing her to the party.”

Your heart sank at his words, and you tried to hide the hurt in your expression. You had no place to feel upset. It had been a year since you split and it had been a year since either of you dated anyone. “Oh, okay. That’s fine. I don’t mind.”

Some time between your exchange, your daughter popped up again. You could feel your daughter’s eyes on you, and you knew you needed to keep it together for her sake. “I should probably go now, but it was good seeing you. Take care.”

You hugged your daughter and gave Steve a brief nod before turning to leave. As you walked away, you couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness wash over you. It was clear that Steve had moved on, but you still weren’t ready to do the same.

You were not ready for this weekend.

You stand in front of the mirror, taking one last look at your reflection. Your hair falls in soft waves around your face, your makeup is impeccable, and your dress hugs your curves in all the right places. You look beautiful, confident, and ready to face the world.

But the world you’re about to face is one that fills you with anxiety and dread. You’re going to Robin's party tonight, and you know that Steve will be there with his new girlfriend. The thought of seeing them together fills you with a sense of unease, but you know that you can't hide away forever.

You take a deep breath and step out of your room, making your way down the stairs and out the door. As you make your way to Robin's house, your mind is filled with thoughts of what you’ll say to Steve, how you'll react when you see him with his new girlfriend, and whether you'll be able to keep your emotions in check.

When you arrive at the party, you take a deep breath and steel yourself for what’s to come. You spot Steve across the room, laughing and chatting with a group of people, and your heart sinks a little. He looks happy, carefree, and completely oblivious to your presence. You also see a pretty girl next to him.

Suddenly, you feel someone wrap their arms around you, squeezing you tight. “You look stunning! Absolutely gorgeous!” Robin exclaimed, taking a good look at you. “You are so hot.”

You giggled, feeling shy. “Look at you! You look beautiful!”

Robin waved a hand. She looked back to where your gaze was a few moments ago, rolling her eyes. “I don’t like her.”

Your furrowed your brows. “What? You just met her.”

She shook her head. “She acted as if I would steal Steve from her when I welcomed them into my house. MY house!”

“What did she do?” You were intrigued to know what Steve’s new girl was like, as you weren’t up to meeting her yourself.

“Okay, so, I opened the door and greeted them like I would normally with all of my guests,” Robin started, guiding you to the kitchen where you saw Nancy and Jonathan. You greeted each other as you listened to Robin’s story. “I hugged Steve first, because, you know, I’m not just going to hug a random stranger!”

“Is she telling you about how much she hates Steve’s new girlfriend?” Nancy teases, causing Jonathan to laugh.

“Apparently,” you giggled.

“I’m just telling you guys how I’ve been mistreated in my own house! Now shush!” The three of you shut up, letting Robin continue. “She kept clinging onto Steve’s arm as if I would steal him away from her or something, like I’m not lesbian or whatever. Not that anyone’s supposed to know but, come on!”

You squint your eyes, waiting for her to get to the part why she hates her so much already. In the meantime, you grabbed some juice as you didn’t drink alcohol.

“I started to welcome her but she gave me this death glare that Steve didn’t apparently notice and I swear, if I could, I would’ve slapped her right then and there. I led them inside my house, showing the girl around, but she barely spoke two words to me, and just dragged Steve by her side the entire time.” Robin huffed. “After I had shown her around, I tried giving her a warm hug but she recoiled and shrugged me off as if I’m some sort of disease!”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow, sipping on his drink before he spoke. “I don’t like her either. Gives me one of those ‘mean girl’ vibes.”

“Thank you! And she’s blonde!” Robin exclaimed.

Nancy tilted her head. “Aren’t you blonde?”

Robin gasped, putting a hand over her heart. “I am a brunette, thank you very much.”

“Huh,” you hummed, sipping on your juice, causing Robin to glare at you.

“Why don’t you meet her, hm? I’m sure it would be lovely to have a chat with your ex-husband’s new girlfriend.” Robin shot, putting a hand on her hips.

You grimaced. “Yeah, I’d rather die. My heart can’t take all that pain.”

Robin sighed. “Guess Steve’s out of our quintet. He’s kicked out until he leaves that blondie.”

Nancy shrugged. “Maybe we should get to know her better. She could be nervous.”

“Has my judgment ever failed you, Nance?” Robin questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Jonathan cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention. “Looks like we’ve got company headed our way.” He said, nodding in the direction of Steve and the woman beside him.

Your heart sank as they drew closer. You took a deep breath and tried to keep your cool, taking a sip of your drink to hide your nerves. Robin looked away, clearly uninterested, while Nancy and Jonathan put on tight-lipped smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes.

As Steve approached, he greeted the group and introduced the woman at his side. “Hey guys, this is Mia.” He said, and all eyes turned to her.

She gave a strained smile, and you couldn't help but think that you weren't the only one feeling uncomfortable. The tension was palpable as you all stood there, unsure of what to say.

After a few excruciatingly awkward moments, you decided to take the lead and introduced yourself, holding out your hand. “Nice to meet you.” You said, trying to be friendly.

Mia reluctantly shook your hand, and her next words caught you off guard. “Oh, you're... her mom.” She said, her tone implying that she knew exactly who you were talking about, but didn't want to say your daughter’s name.

You raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Have we met before?” You asked, looking for an explanation.

Mia raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, your daughter,” she said, her tone insincere. “She talks a lot about you.”

Your eyes shot to Steve who seemed to shift under your gaze. “You’ve met my daughter?”

Steve began to speak to clear any confusion. “Mia came over and met her, that’s all.”

You nodded your head stiffly, but the tension in your body did not disappear. You couldn’t help but feel a strong resentment for the fact that Steve’s girlfriend had met your daughter without you knowing.

Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin stared back and forth between you three. Robin let out a big breath to divert the attention elsewhere. “Well, I hope you’re enjoying the party but the four of us have very important matters that we need to focus on, so…” She gulped down her drink that she got in the midst of the very uncomfortable exchange before setting it back down onto the counter. “Have fun.”

Without another word, Robin dragged you, Nancy, and Jonathan away, and the tension in the air dissipated as she led you to another room. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, feeling a mix of anger and relief. Mia may have been beautiful, but her attitude left much to be desired.

“See what I mean?” Robin threw her hands up. “She met your daughter without Steve even notifying you first! I thought you guys talked about that?”

You sighed, your eyes shifting to the ground. “I thought so too but I guess he didn’t seem to listen.”

Nancy placed a hand on your shoulder, offering you some comfort. “Don’t worry about it. Steve can be clueless sometimes.”

Jonathan nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he probably didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” you spoke, looking up to meet their gazes. “She’s my daughter and I should have known if she was meeting someone that Steve is seeing.”

Robin patted your back. “We know, we know. That’s why we’re here for you.”

You smiled gratefully at them, feeling a sense of relief that you had such good friends to lean on. “Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it.”

As the night wore on, you tried to lose yourself in the music and conversation, but it seemed that Steve was always in your peripheral vision. Every time you turned around, there he was, watching you with those brown eyes. Even worse, he seemed to be completely oblivious to Mia’s chatter, his focus solely on you.

You couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions: anger, confusion, and a little bit of hope. Maybe, just maybe, he was regretting his decision to move on from you. But as much as you longed for him, you knew that he was with Mia now, and that you needed to move on.

Desperate for some space and fresh air, you excused yourself and made your way to the bathroom. Once inside, you leaned against the sink and stared at your reflection. You took a deep breath and splashed some water on your face, trying to shake off the memories and emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. You couldn't keep doing this, torturing yourself with what-ifs and maybes. It was time to accept that Steve had moved on, and you needed to do the same.

Even though your daughter wanted both of you together again, and no matter how much you wished to have him back, Steve didn’t want you. It had been a year and it was time you finally moved on.

As you turned off the faucet, the door creaked open, and Steve appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening in surprise. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here.” He said, his voice apologetic.

You gave him some space to enter but he hesitated, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. With a small smile, you reassured him. “No, it’s fine. You can come in.”

He walked in, closing the door behind him and leaned against the sink, taking a deep breath. You began to fix your hair and felt his eyes on you. “I, um, I’m sorry.” He said, breaking the silence. Confused, you turned to look at him. “About Mia. I know we talked about it, but she just came over on her own and then—”

You closed your eyes, feeling a stinging in the back of your eyes. “Don’t worry about it, Steve. I understand.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady. He pursed his lips and nodded his head, but his eyes didn’t stray away. “Mia seems…nice.”

Steve laughed, throwing his head back. “Don’t lie. You hated her. All of you did.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, breaking the tension in the room. “We did! Robin couldn't stand her!” You said, recalling how your friend had voiced her dislike for Mia.

The two of you fell into a pit of laughter, holding onto the edge of the sink. “I can’t believe you’re with her!” You said between giggles.

“Me either, I’ve only been seeing her for a few days but she's been driving me insane! Even our little girl doesn't like her.” Steve exclaimed, clutching his stomach as the laughter between you both started to slow down.

You felt a little better after that, knowing that Steve knew how you all felt about Mia. You finally managed to stop laughing and looked up at Steve, finding his eyes already set on you.

“I think tonight may have been the last straw after I saw the way she treated all of you. I broke things off with her.” He said, his voice soft.

Your eyes widened in shock and your lips parted. “What?”

The two of you had moved closer in the midst of your laughing fit, and you could feel his body close to yours, almost pressing against you. Your eyes locked onto his, and you felt your heart racing. “I didn’t like the way she talked to all of you, especially with you, so...” He trailed off, his hands hovering near yours.

You could feel his breath on your skin, and you felt a flutter in your stomach. “Oh,” you said, your voice barely a whisper. Suddenly, you jerked, pulling away. “Right, um, it’s late, so I think I’m going to head out.”

Steve looked disappointed as you turned around and opened the door. He followed you out, and both of you jumped when you saw Robin standing there, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

“Your babysitter called...” Robin began, her eyes moving between you both as the blood rushed to your cheeks. “The little one fell and hurt herself and now she keeps crying for you both.”

Worry flooded your mind, and you looked at Steve, who mirrored your concern. You thanked Robin and left without saying any goodbyes, your mind solely focused on your daughter.

As you were about to enter your car, Steve grabbed your hand. “Just come with me. It'll save more time.”

You nodded and followed him to his car. As you sat in the passenger seat, another thought popped into your head. “What about Mia?”

Steve shook his head. “She got angry and went off with some dude after I split with her.”

You looked out the window as Steve drove, your mind solely on your daughter. Of course she’s been hurt many times in the past but she has never cried for you both after. She would usually put a bandage on the cut and then shrug it off, going back to her playful self. This was unlike her and you needed to see her as soon as possible.

After you and Steve arrived at his house, you quickly comforted your daughter who was sobbing uncontrollably. She didn’t explain why she was crying. She had only hurt her knee while playing and skinned it but nothing too bad. You were confused as to why she couldn’t stop but soon after, she fell asleep in your arms.

The babysitter explained what had happened, then left after you thanked her. You kissed your sleeping daughter’s forehead, rocking her back and forth. Steve stood in front of you, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s get her to bed.”

You nodded your head and gently stood up, carrying her in your arms. You slowly walked upstairs as Steve went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. You walked into your daughter’s room in Steve’s house and sat on the bed, lifting the covers to lay her down underneath it.

As you gently tuck your daughter into bed, her eyes flutter open, looking up at you with her tired eyes and asks, “Mom, can I ask you a question?”

You smile, already feeling your heart melt at the sound of her voice. “Of course, honey. What’s on your mind?”

After a moment's hesitation, she asks, “Do you still love Dad?” The question catches you off guard, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You take a deep breath and look at your daughter, trying to find the right words to explain the complicated feelings you still have for your ex-husband.

“We… we love each other, but things got really hard between us,” you say slowly, careful not to give away too much. “But we're still a family, and we'll always be there for you.”

Your daughter nods thoughtfully, but you can see that she's not satisfied with your answer. “But do you love him like you used to?” She presses.

Your heart aches as memories flood back to you - the good times, the laughter, the love you shared with Steve. You swallow hard and take a deep breath before admitting, “Yes, I do still love him.”

“What does dad mean to you?” Your daughter asked again, pushing you for an answer.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Dad means a lot to me, honey. He’s the father of my child, my best friend, and...” you hesitated for a moment. “He’s the love of my life.”

Your daughter’s eyes widened, taking in your words. “Really?”

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. “Really.”

Unbeknownst to you, Steve had been standing outside the door the entire time, listening to your conversation. As your words wash over him, he feels a rush of emotion - regret, love, and hope all mingled together. He knows he messed up and hurt you, but he also knows that he still loves you and can't imagine living without you.

Your daughter quickly fell asleep after that, a smile evident on her face. Your lips turned up, cradling her small face in your hands. You finally stood up and began to walk out of the room, closing the door behind you, when you noticed Steve standing outside.

Your breath hitched and you desperately hoped he hadn’t heard anything you said. You cleared your throat and crossed your arms against your chest, Steve’s eyes immediately falling onto them. You felt the warmth in your cheeks and quickly uncrossed them. “She’s asleep.”

He nodded his, his eyes stuck on you. You stood there in silence, for what felt like hours, until you finally spoke that you had to leave. “Thanks for driving me here and–”

Realization hit you that your car was still at Robin’s. “Your car is still at Rob’s.” Steve answered for you, reading your mind.

You sighed, chuckling. “Yeah…”

“Just stay here for the night, okay? I’ll drop you off in the morning to pick up your car.” Steve told you, his voice laced with softness.

You were hesitant but agreed, not wanting your daughter to be home alone while Steve dropped you off. “Okay, yeah. I’ll stay.”

Steve grinned, causing you to smile. You two still stood there, staring at each other, not moving an inch. Not until you looked away, trying not to let the warmth in your cheeks take over.

“I’ll take the guest room.” You said softly, beginning to walk away. Before you could take another step, Steve grabbed your wrist, pulling you back.

He put both hands on your arms, making you stand in front of him. Your eyes looked up into his, and you swear you could feel yourself unable to breathe. Steve's gaze was intense and unwavering as he held onto your arms. You felt a shiver run down your spine as you tried to steady your breathing. For a moment, the two of you just stood there, looking at each other in silence. “I didn’t mean to pry but…I couldn’t help but overhear what you just said.”

Your eyes widened in shock and you immediately tried to back away, but his hands on your arms stopped you from moving any further. “Steve, I’m sorry. Can we just forget about that?”

He shook his head and smiled, making your heart skip a beat. “No, I can’t. I can’t just forget what you said when I’ve been feeling the exact same for you for the past year.” He saw the way your face lit up, but the surprise was still written all over your face. He lifted a hand to your cheek, cradling it. “I can’t just forget how you called me the love of your life when you’re the love of my life. I know things got tough for us but our divorce was a mistake. Why do you think it took me a year to finally date someone, but then break it off with them after less than a month?”

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, feeling his soft hand hold your face. “Steve…” You whispered.

“I will do anything to get you back. It was my fault and we should have done this so much sooner. I was just scared…just afraid that you didn’t feel the same way anymore but when I told you that I was seeing Mia the other day, you looked so hurt, and I’m the reason for that.” He said softly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I have never stopped loving you, okay? I want to fix things. Not just for us, but also for our girl. She deserves to see her parents be happy and in love. I refuse to tiptoe around our feelings any longer. You and I belong together, and we both know that. All of our friends and family know that.”

His confession made your heart swell and nothing could express what you were feeling at this exact moment. You felt so relieved and full of love. You had always dreamed of this moment after your split but never thought it would happen. Until now.

“I love you, Steve,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut. He brought a hand to your chin, tilting your head up. His lips brushed against yours, and not being able to wait any longer, you crashed your lips onto his.

Steve took in a deep breath as both of his hands cupped the sides of your face, pulling you closer, while your hands went up to wrap behind his neck. As your lips met, you could feel the sparks flying between the two of you. It was like no time had passed since you last kissed. The way his lips moved against yours was familiar and comforting, but at the same time, it felt like a new beginning. You had both grown and changed since your divorce, but the chemistry between you was still undeniable.

You let out a soft moan as Steve deepened the kiss, his tongue gently probing your lips. You parted them, allowing him to explore your mouth as his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. His touch was electrifying, and you could feel your body responding to him in a way that it hadn't in a long time.

Steve’s lips moved from your lips to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sensation. His warm breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. You tilted your head to give him better access, and he took full advantage of it, trailing soft, lingering kisses down the curve of your neck. His lips continued to explore your neck, and you let out a low moan, feeling the heat between the two of you intensify. You were lost in the moment, completely in his embrace, as he left a trail of kisses along your neck, each one sending waves of pleasure through your body.

He pulled away for just a second to look at you, then down to your figure. “This damn dress,” he groaned, his hands lowering down to your bare thighs, just inches away from the hem of your dress. “This dress is making me go feral.”

“Yeah?” You moaned softly, biting your lip. “What does this dress make you want to do?”

He smashed his lips onto yours again, using his arms to pick you up, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. He began to walk to his room, shutting the door behind him. Your kiss didn’t falter, continuing to move your lips against each other as he gently put you down.

The both of you stood inches from his bed and he began to slowly unzip the back of your dress. “A lot of things, baby. I want to do so many things to you,” he confessed, turning you around so your back pressed against his chest. “But first, I want to take this off of you.”

You let him use his hands to remove your dress. You could feel the throbbing between your legs and all you needed at this moment was Steve. “Stop teasing, Steve,” you said quietly, feeling his lips attach to your neck.

He chuckled, picking his head up to whisper in your ear. “Well, you better stay quiet, baby. Don’t want to wake up the little one, right?”

The next morning, the sun started to peek through Steve’s windows, causing you to wake up. You slowly opened your eyes and felt a pair of arms holding you tight. You turned your head to see Steve next to you, sleeping soundly.

You grinned, feeling content with the world. You raised a hand to gently rub a thumb against his cheek, careful not to wake him up. However, he began to stir in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open, catching your hand in his. “Morning,” he said in his morning voice, something you always found attractive.

“Morning,” you responded softly. He kissed your hand and then let go to bring his hand to your cheek, leaning over to kiss you. He breathed you in, as if he couldn’t believe you were real. He pulled you on top of him, not letting you go as he deepened the kiss. After a few seconds, you pulled away, feeling breathless. You lay your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “We should probably get up.”

Steve groaned, hugging you tight. “I think we should stay in bed for a few more hours.”

You giggled, pushing your hands against his chest to force yourself off. “And have your daughter pop into your room to see us in bed?”

“She’s going to find out eventually, so I don’t really care.” Steve said, pulling you back against his chest.

You sighed contentedly, snuggling back into his embrace. “I guess you're right,” you said, smiling as you looked up at him. “But let's at least get some breakfast before she wakes up.”

Steve chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Okay, fine. But I'm not letting you go just yet.” He pulled you close again, his lips finding yours in a slow and tender kiss. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch as if he was still trying to convince himself that you were really there with him.

You responded eagerly, your body tingling with desire. As the kiss deepened, Steve rolled you onto your back, hovering over you with a hunger that made your breath catch. He kissed a trail down your neck, his teeth nipping at your sensitive skin as he went. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding him close as you moaned softly.

For a few moments, the rest of the world faded away and all that mattered was the two of you, tangled up in the sheets and lost in each other's embrace. But eventually, you pulled back, panting for breath. “Steve, we really should get up.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper.

He groaned in frustration but nodded, rolling off of you and pulling you close to his side. “Fine.” He said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But we're coming back here later.”

After finishing your morning routine, you headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. As you stood at the stove, frying eggs, you felt Steve's arms wrap around your waist, his lips planting soft kisses on your neck. You tried to push him away, but he held you closer, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. “S-Steve.” You said breathlessly. “She’s going to come in here any second.”

He chuckled softly against your skin. “She's been wanting us to get back together, love. Don't worry, she'll be happy to see us like this.”

You rolled your eyes but at the same moment, you heard a small voice behind you. “Mom? Dad?”

The two of you turned around to see your adorable daughter, standing there with her mouth agape. “Hi, honey, did you have a good sleep?” You greeted her, crouching down to give her a big hug.

She walked over to hug you but you and Steve could still see the shock on her face. “Yes, but…” She looked at her dad, Steve giving her a huge grin back as he crouched down next to her.

“What is it, sweetie?” Steve asked her, rubbing her arm.

“I’m confused…” her little voice spoke. “Are you guys back together?”

You and Steve chuckled, looking at each other before looking back at your daughter. “I guess we are.” You told her and you saw her lips turn up into a huge smile.

She started jumping in excitement, clapping her hands. “Yay! It worked! It worked!”

You raised an eyebrow, confused as to what worked. “What worked, honey?”

She looked at both of you and stopped jumping. “My plan to get you both together after your party,” she said, still grinning. “I wanted you two alone together again and it worked!”

Steve arched an eyebrow and lightly pushed your shoulder, causing you to look back at him. He tilted his head, putting an arm around your shoulder. “You’re a smart one, huh? It definitely worked.”

“Does this mean you’ll get married again?” She asked innocently.

You chuckled, kissing her forehead. “We may…”

Steve squeezed your arm, hugging you both. “Yes, we are. I don’t think I’ll be able to live without your mom, sweetie.”

Your daughter let go of you both and started to sing happily, ecstatic that her parents were finally back together again. You leaned your head on Steve’s shoulder, a bright smile on your face as you watched her run around. Steve kissed your forehead, rubbing soothing circles on your arm.

This was all you had wanted. To finally be happy with your perfect family.

#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #angst #fluff #exes to lovers #stranger things angst #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x you

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carlyraejepsans · 4 months

Note

hello biscia. i am asking you a second (2nd) question

how would you write an argument between sans and toriel? and i don’t mean like, for the sake of a bit or somethin—i mean some Serious shit. i like to think i understand these two characters a bit better than what was the fanon interpretation, but i still think i can learn.

this mainly comes about because i like writin ship fics, angst, and angsty ship fics

HI DUDE thanks for the question! tbh i think sans and toriel would not be able to argue: which is precisely the problem! I've already mentioned how sans is extremely conflict avoidant, either by not taking things as seriously as they should or by straight up hauling ass the moment things get too uncomfortable. on the other hand, toriel is a very proud woman. her sense of justice and doing what she feels is right is admirable, but it could lead to tunnel vision and prevent her from finding a compromise/shared ground on first impact.

basically a soriel argument imo would go something like 1) sans misjudges how serious an issue is/toriel puts her foot down on something that they should really meet in the middle about, 2) sans folds immediately in order to end the conversation as soon as possible, even if the result obviously bothers him / he just up and leaves with no warning. or maybe she does. conversation IMMEDIATELY cut short, problem still unresolved. 3) they cool off/mull it over in private on their own and then go back to the other, reconnecting through humor/jokes (better if there's a door or otherwise perpendicular flat surface between them), before bringing the conversation back to the touchy topic.

#answered asks #soriel #undertale #sans #toriel #hcs

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ricebooks · 2 years

Text

(Rottmnt series and movie spoilers! This is speculation regarding when Donnie took a hit during the movie!)

So we see here that Donnie constructs a shield as fast as possible after the Kraang arrives. If we go by the time we as viewers see him construct the shield, he has less than 2 seconds to make it before they are punched:

This next screenshot shows that Kraang Prime breaks it before it's even completed, judging by how there's little difference between the shield before and during the punch:

If a single punch can break Raph's mystic construct, which was both bigger and thicker than Donnie's, we can assume that Donnie's construct, due to lack of time and experience in making them (Raph first made one in s1 ep7 while Donnie made his first in the s2 finale), was significantly weaker. Raph was cradling his arm after he was hit despite being protected by the rest of his ninpo construct and not having his actual body hit. Donnie had no such protection, time, or experience to back him up. They are sent flying ragdoll-style; Donnie has a humorously dead look on his face.

Final screenshot, the latest one I could get before they're punched:

(It looks almost identical to the left one in the previous picture row, I know)

But in that screenshot, we see that the Kraang's fist pretty much came in contact with Donnie's hand, since he was using it to hold the 'construct-bo' steady.

Dear audience, I think Donnie should have gotten a broken hand or arm from that. If not, at *least* some bad internal bleeding. A combination of both, even.

(But I get it, it's a kid show/movie that very unfortunately and infuriatingly got cut short/had time constraints.)

I've seen the fandom agree that Leo got extensive wounds, including broken limbs and varying portryals of shell damage. I think it's reasonable to assume that Donnie got a taste of that as well, only it didn't show right away. Verywellhealth lists tingling in the hands or feet, swelling, shortness of breath, nausea, mental changes (disorientation or confusion), and more as symptoms of internal bleeding. Many of those are things that Donnie could have brushed off due to the urgency of the situation and almost losing multiple members of his family. Many of those are symptoms viewers would not be able to detect either (and again, target audience is kids). That "humorously dead look" mentioned earlier could easily be out of disorientation due to a broken arm/internal bleeding, if not from a concussion due to the reverberating shockwaves.

How is Donnie able to come in clutch?

Adrenaline, stress, anger, and ignoring your injuries, baby!

(With a hint of self-sacrifice and instinctually moving to protect your loved ones, because that is a Hamato family motif.)

And the aftermath is just as angsty as you'd expect: Donnie works himself to the bone to rebuild and protect his family, only to be hindered by an injury to his arm. And he, arguably, would still have it better than his siblings because that's a normal, documented bodily reaction to physical harm. How do you treat the results of mind control and forced body alterations? How do you treat the backlash of opening a hole through time and space? What's an arm injury or two compared to having your entire body pummeled? The Technodrome Takeover isn't helping this poor guy's mind at all.

Would all of this be more reason for his self-esteem and self-worth issues to kick in? I definitely think so.

Final thoughts:

Donnie definitely broke something or got BAD internal bleeding from that move

Can you imagine Leo and Donnie having a moment of quiet horror as they fully realize what happened to each other. That they both took direct hits from the suited Kraang Prime (Raph had his constructs, which is why I discounted him. Donnie's construct didn't hinder the punch at all. Tore through it as though it was a flimsy eggshell.)

Can you imagine the guilt Mikey would have because Donnie took a major hit for him twice and got hurt for it. And then Donnie would still try to take care of them through overworking

Can you imagine Raph regretting not pushing harder on defensive uses of their ninpo. Donnie tends to use it offensively by itself or as an augment to his tech. What if he'd pushed for more defensive training and usage, even if his brothers disliked him for it?

Wow please get physical and mental therapy for everyone

Okay done thanks for reading!

Edit:

This got some traction (thank you!) and I wanted to add something real quick. In a self-reblog and with permission, I added the following in response to these tags:

"@mad-phlegmatic EXACTLY. And Donnie's reflexes are good enough to avoid Hypno's rings in mid-air (s1 ep13) and to allow him to temporarily face off against the Shredder. His subsequent rag-dolling implies a lack of consciousness or awareness!

On Leo: unless I'm mistaken, member 'Nardo of Team Exclusive Nicknames only cries twice in the movie: when Shredder punches Donnie and Mikey, and when he accepts his fate in the prison dimension :)"

With permission, I added the screenshot and subsequent response to the post itself.

Now I'm done (for reals. I think.)—have a nice day!

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt movie spoilers #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt movie #rottmnt donnie #rice babble #yeah i have many thoughts about this alright. loads of thoughts.#so i finally wrote them down. with added visual proof and research haha #did this on mobile. hopefully it works #long post

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1-49 · 2 months

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third times’s a charm

pairing: f!reader × chanyoung, sungchan ⁝ tags: rain. tokyo. & love at first sight / fluff. gets lil angsty. wc. 3.1k

note: this has been in my drafts ever since those two pictures dropped, & basically, this whole thing is just an extension of what sorta of mood they inspired. ik it’s kind of late but i love the atmosphere, so im posting it anyway.

All this waiting ─── Holding out for the storm to pass. Stuck in traffic and waiting. Waiting for the bus at a crowded bus stop.

Since the idiotic weather app on your phone was unable to foresee such a severe downpour, you are without an umbrella. You find yourself standing like a cat caught in the rain after spending a perfect sunny afternoon exploring Tokyo’s streets.

Neither the metro nor the two buses that have come & gone are going in your direction. More room and privacy for yourself as the majority of passengers board the buses and lessen the crowded, small, glassed station—for which you are grateful. After trying your luck twice, you are stuck waiting for the third bus.

The peculiar scent of rain on asphalt fills your nostrils as you accept your bad luck & attempt to take solace in the rain, the foggy lights of the passing traffic & the bright neon signs that give the city its unique flavor. There are a variety of sounds in the street, ranging from soft and loud to melodic and even disorienting.

You seem like such a loser out in the rain. The end effect of running so fast and not caring where you step is clumps of hair and muddy shoes, followed by ten minutes of waiting. You are glad you didn’t wear too much makeup for today’s walk because you’d have looked like a total wreck. Smugly, you try to adjust your mascara and eyeshadow in your little mirror and pretend it’s fine.

And so, you concentrate on the raindrops as they land in a specific dip in the pavement, creating tiny air bubbles that rise to the surface like bubbles in a champagne glass. This little world seems to be what fascinates you about Tokyo at the moment, despite its vast size.

That is when the two giants casually stroll into the safe haven you have found in all the fast life.

The two towering frames jostle one another in this terrifying performance that the sky is putting on, laughing at something so ridiculous that you have to wonder how they can do it. The evening sky is practically ripping at its seams, but they do not seem to notice.

Their laughter is contagious as they battle for space under a transparent umbrella that the taller one is holding. Their bodies are too broad for the protective gear, and they seem to lose simultaneously because most of their opposing shoulders and arms are soaked. For the tiny spaciousness they seek but don’t find, the pair comes across as endearing and humorous. You realize there is beauty in the fact that neither of them seems to mind. They remain upbeat and truly unaffected, which is inspiring.

That they are close friends is highly likely. They are even dressed alike. One is wearing green cargo pants and the other over-dye jeans, both with black upper apparel.

They could be mistaken for twins due to their dangerous synchronicity. Not like born together. Not fused like the two sides of an oyster encasing a precious pearl. However, exactly opposites, much like the two sides of a mirror. Equally stunning, and in their case, the pearl is their friendship.

The sounds of the city fade, and you feel every nook and cranny in your body thudding as you witness them make the spontaneous decision to wait for a bus.

The ‘polar twins’ resemblance they give off is unfair.

While the cargo boy’s carefree demeanor gives hours of silly photos and odd Tik Toks, funny videos, and Twitter drama, the headphones hanging around his neck pay close and serious attention to music, which you thoroughly appreciate. This particular aspect of him almost instantly makes you fall in love.

But the taller boy doesn’t fall behind either;

he closes the umbrella as soon as he enters the glassed area. His hand clasped around his brown cashmere cardigan radiates warmth and comfort, and his strikingly bare collarbones radiate needs and dreams. His contradictory aura clouds your judgment and prevents you from making further assumptions about his interests in basketball, games, and literature.

The tip of the umberlla accidentally bumps into your arm when he closes it, revealing his slight clumsiness.

His regret is evident in his eyebrows even before he says, “Sorry.” His eyes widen with it. Lovely and compassionate, with a hint of mocha. Like there is freshly brewed coffee swirling around inside his crystals.

Sparks shimmer up your arms as you watch and listen to his apology and say that it’s nothing.

The music boy’s position is to your left, as the ‘clumsy’ guy shifts to your right, which he does not realize until he apologizes.

With obvious happiness, the music boy inserts himself and begins to tease him. “He acts that way all the time, so don’t worry. If his good looks don’t work to get him noticed, he will try playing on his clumsiness.”

You can be sure that the ‘clumsy’ guy is pouting and sulking over the nonsense that was just said, even though your eyes are finally turning to the person who is seeking them.

There is an eternal smile on the face of the goofier of the two. One of those smiles that can break through the clouds and stop the rain. A ray of light, really. He breaks through the barriers of your heart with his quiet voice too. The fact that he can capture your heart with such ease and beauty is just a crime.

They may have looked the same in one frame, but now that they are essentially standing on either side of you, they are starting to show more of their charm. It gets harder to be between two extremely attractive giants as their individuality starts to emerge.

You have a sneaking suspicion that the boy you are looking at is the younger one.

And while the bright colors of the city match his mischievousness, his confidence has a short fuse. This becomes apparent when he stops coming up with new jokes for his friend and stays staring at you for longer than fifty seconds.

Before you know what the two of you are doing, his smile spreads across your face like sunlight does on tulips in the early spring. It’s an inadvertent eye lock until he realizes it’s too much. It really melts your heart to discover that he is a shyer one, and you end up melting right into the rain puddle that is at your feet.

You then take up your previous posture, facing forward. For a brief while, they distracted you from the fact that you were waiting for a bus to the hotel. As you take a big swallow, there is an odd quietness among the three of you.

You cannot help but wish that some of them would speak up and say something. Why you want this to go on is beyond you, but you want it to. Their bodies radiate a warmth that suffocates you while simultaneously providing warmth against the chilly autumn breeze. This brings you back to the point where you’re mentally cursing your app for tricking you because you were totally unprepared for today’s outing.

‘Soft eyes’, as in literally, hands you the sweather he was holding as soon as he notices that you’re shivering.

It pains you to try to turn down his offer, but you do.

Still, he refuses to accept it. “You can give it back as soon as one of our buses arrives. Keep it till then.” Ignoring your protests, he carefully places the soft wool in your hands. You have no choice but to comply with his insistence. “Besides, I don’t need it.”

You raise your gaze to him and once more meet his eyes—this time with a smile added.

You remember that when he bumped into you, he was trying to hide a smile so that he could apologize more sincerely, which means you haven’t been a witness to his smile just yet.

However, his smile has the same profound effect on you as the guy on the other side. You are sure the sun is in his heart too, just as much as it’s in his eyes. His kindness is his beauty. Very soft; almost as soft as a ball of cashmere, or similar to his cardigan’s overly long sleeves as you play with them.

Given their earlier recklessness, you would never have trusted two random boys to be this kind. So gracious as to lay you two of their favorite accessories in your possession.

One is keeping you warm, and the other, after being prodded to share the song he has been working on, is putting his headphones on you and letting his joy seep through your ears to your bones.

Feeling a little more shy, his breath hits your face, tense and warm as he’s inside. He is pulsing with understanding so as not to invade your personal space while practically failing. As if you couldn’t have done it yourself, he decides to put his headphones on you abruptly. A current is all that is moving him, and not a single conscious brain cell is applying any kind of brake.

The color hits his cheeks when your gaze meets halfway again. He’s being cheeky, though, when he asks, “Are you ready?” while towering over you.

He presses play on the song he composed after you nod with equal enthusiasm.

With the ‘soft guy’ on the right, you’re a little more confident, but when it comes to the ‘shy boy’ in front, you are a complete mess. The prospect that he’s equally as wreaked as you are is the primary cause of your emotions. They are deeply affecting you both, and even though you would prefer to hide in the next bush, you are pursuing each other naively and playfully.

Your smiles are getting bigger as you gaze at one another, but his is weaker, more fragile, as in ‘until the piece I composed gets your pass, I am afraid.’

You close your eyes because you don’t have enough in you to match that.

The outside world ceases to matter as the ambient composition intensifies and begins to resolve inside you.

You explode at the slightest touch from a ‘soft boy’ who leans in close and tries to listen through your headphones.

Since he also expressed dissatisfaction over never having heard the music, you try to be understanding and let him into your space too. He was unable to listen to it earlier due to the ‘it is not completed’ statements. This was his chance. And so, you acknowledge that this evening, everything came together to allow the two of you to feel the excitement of being the first to hear something so exquisite.

The storm itself, you can swear, ceased.

Though the sound of life is muffled by the composition in your eardrums, you can somewhat hear three heartbeats pounding in time with the music. It feels as though nothing matters and yet everything has led up to this.

‘Music boy’ watches your reactions as both of you remain silent, neither of you speaking to disturb the bliss.

This rescue is slow-moving and pleasant compared to Tokyo’s fast life. You find a brief moment of inner tranquility after so much running, fury at the weather, and anger towards the electronic device in your back pocket.

Entirely, you lose yourself in the song, and the way your lashes curl to soften the likely pictures that appear beneath your lids is proof of this. It seems that even in Tokyo, things can come to a stop.

Like a drop of rain in the countryside, your smile is sincere and pure. That is what he has composed, and that is what this is. He has awakened that within you.

Clarity and translucence—opposing to the densely scented city air, which is heavy with the smell of burned street meat and motor oil.

As distinct as the boys standing next to you, everything has a raw beauty.

When you turn to face the taller one, you find that your noses are almost in contact because of how close the headphones have brought his face to yours.

His most beautiful features are dripping with admiration as he gives you the thumbs up. Although you find the signal confusing, you nod because you think it is abrupt and cute.

Upon turning to face the musical prodigy as you currently perceive him—you having no prior knowledge of him—he grins more than ever.

With great anticipation, he asks, “And!?”

“I wish I had a better word to describe it, but it is rather majestic. The melody is lovely and seems to pour love and tranquility indefinitely. It made me feel better. Basically, thank you, is all I have to say.”

“It truly did the same for me,” remarks the tall guy, nodding. “You know, he never lets us listen to his music,” he adds, moving in closer to give the younger person a sweet shoulder shake. “This guy!!”

They both laugh it off, just like they did when they walked in beside you. They are unaware that, with those smiles, they have taken everything from you. However, as soon as you peek at the bus in the distance, read aloud your hotel’s street address, and confirm that it is your route, their smiles become lifeless and hollow almost instantly. In the same instant, the hope that they both brought about vanishes. There is a bittersweet sensation.

Even though you all know the end is near, it seems like no one anticipated it.

All of it comes crashing down: the rain, the hope, the magic, and all three of your desperate sets of eyes that cannot stop staring into each other’s faces. Each microsecond, millisecond, and second matters. Everything was brief at first, then prolonged, and finally just brief again.

“It’s time to return this,” you utter as you remove the cardigan.

Given how chilly the owner’s hands are once you skin-brush them, the wool should feel even warmer in his hands after you return it.

“You must have frozen because of me,” you point out, brows knitted in concern. “I am so sor—”

“No, I am fine, don’t apologize,” he cuts in, unlocking the umbrella as he comes to his senses and accepts the arrival of reality. To protect you from the rain until you board the bus, he says, “Here,” giving you room to move under the umbrella.

Initially, you pout, believing that rejecting him would be best, but eventually, you stop yourself and follow his instructions exactly. It’s time to savor every moment, even if it’s just spending a little time together under an umbrella, before you part ways with them and never see them again.

You remove your headphones and give them back to the cutest prodigy you have ever met. “You should start having more faith in the things you create. That was really beautiful.”

“Thank you!!” The umbrella boy exclaims in his name. “Someone at last to make him begin to realize.”

The younger boy defends himself, smiling, “Shut up.” And, even though he’s well aware that the umbrella was never meant to fit both of them, much less three people, he’s still attempting to squeeze himself under it.

You guys are all biting smiles; there is such innocence and purity to the compressed situation all of you are in. This feeling is far more intense than what you experienced as a teenager witnessing your crash in the hallways. Greater than the scorching feeling you experienced on your first kiss. Which, on the other hand, makes this even more heartbreaking than the first time your heart broke. There is something odd about it all, and it has been a long day at that.

You stay sandwiched between their bodies, which rise on both sides of you as sturdy as a brick wall. You regretfully realize that you cannot be imprisoned between them forever, even though for a brief moment you wish you could.

You can sense the peculiar chemistry has subdued the storm, and it even appears to be stopping the rain. And as it draws near the bus stop, the bus finally lets out its sharp, piercing ‘pissss’ sound. You’re thinking somewhere in the back of your mind about how this sound is going to become your least favorite sound. The noise that will always bother you the most because it’s ruining something so beautiful.

When you look into their faces, all you see is gold dust smeared in their eyes. “I’m glad our paths crossed,” you eventually admit.

They return with the same admiration, though with a sorrowful smile.

They wait until after you get on the bus. They wait for you to get comfortable, knowing that you will take their side and catch your farewell look out the window.

That is precisely what you do; you approach the first seat with that same thought in mind. Rain cascades down the glass, and the windows are a little foggy and difficult to see through due to the warmth inside.

Inside and around your heart, there is a heavy, funny feeling. You make an effort to clear the fog from the window but the moment feels so so hopeless as the bus starts to move. In actuality, all you’re doing is wiping the mist as you attempt to wave goodbye and get a good look at them for the last time. Still, it’s too late.

All that is left to do is gaze for a brief while at the vanishing landscape, registering absolutely nothing.

Finally, you tilt your head back and sigh at the biggest sigh ever. There is a distant echo of a Japanese woman’s voice coming from the bus radio. When you turn on your phone, the first thing you see is your camera folder.

It’s inexplicable why you thought it was necessary to take a picture of them with your phone while simultaneously taking one with theirs. You are left puzzled, staring at the most recent two pictures in your folder.

‘Love is a captured moment,’ you used to say. You get the impression that life is making fun of you.

It becomes really annoying to swipe between the two photos. Their boyfriend vibe is unmatched. Imagination takes over. It seems as though you have never desired anything more.

You carefully touch the screen to enlarge the images, capturing their faces with your fingertips. The attractive strangers in the photos are names you will never know.

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ohtobeleah · 2 years

Text

Mission Impossible // Bob Floyd

Summary: After Bob is picked to fly the mission with the Dagger team, memories of moments you both have shared together come flooding back—leading to a shock discovery.

Word Count: 9.6k

Warnings: Angsty. Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd pairing. Some smut.

Author Note: Jesus I don’t know where this came from but I’m happy where we got with it. (Published 14.09.22)

Read Part One Here // Radar

“I love you so much—“ Bob's breath fanned across your neck, his lips hot against your skin as he pushed himself further inside you. A moan echoing off the dorm room walls as your eyes rolled, back arching as you dug your nails deep into the muscles of his back. Secretly? Bob enjoyed the pain you brought. The sensation. “God you’re beautiful—“

“Bob—“ you moaned, searching for his lips. “Fuck, faster.” It came out as a beg and oh boy, the way you begged for him had Bob seeing stars. He could feel the pressure building as the base of his shaft as he slipped himself in and out, a rhythm so unbelievably perfect it had you breathless. Bucking his hips. The crushing weight of his ribs still busted from his flight training mishap didn’t matter, not right now, not with how good it felt to be inside you. Not with how good it felt to be with you. “So close, fuck I’m so close!”

“Cum for me sweetheart, that’s it, cum for me—“

*knock* *knock* *knock*

A pool of drool had formed where your head met the pillow. Your mouth opened slightly as gentle snores filled the room. Exhausted could be an understatement, ever since Bob was discharged from the hospital you’d been by his side. The secret was out so was there any real point in sneaking around behind closed doors?

*knock* *knock* *knock*

The incessant knocking coming from the solid dorm room door had you coming to the surface from a very very good dream, groaning as you sat up. Your pyjamas clinging to your body, sweaty. Your hair a bird's nest upon your head, eye mask pushed up to your forehead. Dragging your feet reluctantly as you flug the door open with an annoyed sigh, half asleep.

“What!?” You groaned. Rubbing your eyes as you came face to face with Maverick. The marks Bob has left on your collar bones exposed. Deep purple’s littering your skin.

“Well I can’t say I’m surprised to see you here considering I went to your quarters this morning and found it abandoned.” Maverick teased as you came to the realisation this was Bob's room.

“Shit—“ you sighed, looking at Maverick as you tried your best to fire your systems. Sleep deprivation was proving to be no joke. “Sorry Pete I—“

“No need to explain, just—get changed and meet me and Admiral Beau in the command centre.”

“Yes Captain Mitchell.” You tried to salut, smacking your elbow on the door as you did so. Your humorous numb as it sent pins and needles up your entire arm. Holding it close to your body as you watched Maverick chuckle before walking down the corridor. “Fuck—“ you hissed, shutting the door as you let your back slide down it.

“You know what?” You heard Bob before you saw him. “Not one of your finest moments.” Bob cooed with a small smile plastered on his face as he stepped from the bathroom. His hair still wet as the towel he used to keep himself from being totally exposed hung low across his hips. “The secondhand embarrassment is radiating off you, sweetheart.” As he turned, you saw the claw marks you’d left on his back from last night. A shiver encapsulating your entire being for a split second at the memories. “What did Mav want?”

“Duty calls.” You gathered your uniform that had been flung across the floor of Bob's dorm, holding it in a ball at your chest. Clinging to the responsibility you had. “This was nice, but—“ You began to be a smartass. Bob catching your drift and deciding to go along with it.

“Oh yeah, totally—“ Bob played along. Coming to kiss you deeply. His hands lingering on your hips. “I don’t do the whole relationship thing either.”

“So just a one time thing?” You smirked, eyeing off the wedding band draped across his chest. Nestled perfectly between his dog tags.

“Hope you weren’t expecting anything more.” Bob teased, leaning in to cup your cheeks, drawing you in for one final kiss. His tongue slowly dancing with yours as he asked for permission to go deeper. Accepting the invitation you gave him with a small moan. Pulling back before he could get too carried away. It was always easy to get caught up with you, the love of his life. His better half. “Don’t forget to grab a coffee on your way out.”

“Bags that bad huh?” You chuckled, biting your bottom lip. Turning on your heels to head out. “Love ya!” You cooed . Opening the door before turning for one final look at your husband. “By the way?” You teased. “You definitely should have been skins.”

“Get outta here—“ Bob flung a pair of balled up socks your way as you closed the door to his dorm behind you, making your way up to the common area kitchenette. Rounding the corner in a flurry, you bumped into Rooster who couldn’t hide his surprise if he tried.

“Hot date?” He questioned as he sipped his morning coffee. Sitting at the small dining table you stood across from.

“Something along those lines.” You replied, feet padding across the flooring over to the coffee pot. Still holding your uniform balled up. “Got any sugar?”

“Top cupboard to the right— don’t let Hangman catch you.” Rooster reminded you. “He’s still out for blood“ the overbearing urge to demolish a pop tart suddenly overwhelming you, not usually one for a sugary breakfast, you couldn’t fight it. Pocketing the pop tart that sat lonesome and unopened for when you got back to your own dorm.

“I can handle him, god—what is his problem anyway?” You sipped your coffee as you began your journey back to your dorm. You’d return the coffee mug at a later date. “If Mav wants him flying this mission he’ll fly the damn mission, but it’s not my problem he doesn’t play well with others, that’s just my professional opinion.”

“I honestly think it’s more personal than professional, Radar—“ Rooster explained, yawning slightly as he leaned back in his chair. “He’s not used to not getting what he wants.”

“I’m literally married, Brad—he’s just gonna have to figure it out before he gets you all killed.” You groaned, walking off down the corridor just as Hangman made his entrance into the common areas. Eyeing you off as he walked away. “Not a word Seresin!” You pushed past time. Invoking a small chuckle from his stupid face.

“Big night there Radar? Didn’t think Bobby had it in him.”

“Eat my ass Hangman!” You shouted, Rooster couldn’t hold back his laughter as he spat his coffee back into his mug.

“Does she know that’s what I’ve been trying to do?” Jake smirked to Bradley as he walked over to the coffee pot, noticing something missing. “You owe me a damn pop tart Bradshaw—“

“It wasn’t even me!!”

————----

It came as a shock, you didn't know how to process the unimaginable, Admiral Beau had decided that without Iceman’s input, Maverick would be removed from helping the Top Gun class improve their still set, their training. It was bad enough Pete had just lost an incredible friend and colleague, but to now lose his job?

“With all due respect Admiral, I truly think that is one of the worst decisions you could make.” You couldn’t help yourself from speaking your mind. “These aviators really respond to Captain Mitchell—take that bond away and I’m not too sure how they’ll react.”

“Well it's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion now isn’t it?” Admiral Beau chewed you out as you stood with your chest proud, uniform no longer a wrinkled ball in your arms after a long night spent between the sheets with your husband. “I brought you here to agree to the request you've been making, a time change to the mission.” You knew this wasn't going to be good, you certainly hadn't figured out an appropriate time frame for the pilots? “Four minutes–” Your heart sunk into the pit of your stomach, your eyes widened as you broke your position, stepping forward, your emotions running rampant. A sudden urge to want to empty the content of your stomach trickling up the back of your throat. What the hell was going on? Why were you dizzy and unstable?

“That's enough time for them to be fired upon? Are you trying to get them killed Admiral or are you dying of dementia!?” you hissed, very much stepping out of line. Trying to keep yourself held together. Maverick's hand came to hold your wrist tight, pulling you back. “These people have families–they aren't ready to fly this mission enough as it is and you wanna give the enemy the upper hand!?”

“As you keep saying OS, but they accept the responsibilities and risks this job entails.” Admiral Beau replied as he stood from his chair, leaning forward on his desk. “It was your job to get them ready.”

“Sir, they have to believe that this mission can be flown.” Maverick could see the tears threatening to spill from your waterline. This wasn't what you wanted. Not Four entire minutes. You were pushing for seconds, milliseconds. Not enough time for enemy pilots to take them out like sitting ducks.

“And all you've managed to do? Radar, is teach them that it can't!” Admiral Beau took incredible pleasure in chewing you out, but he took more pride in doing so before the Top Gun graduate’s.

It was hard to keep your composure as you stood before the Top Gun class once again in the hangar turned classroom. Bob could sense something was wrong the moment he looked at you and you wouldnt look at him. Standing reluctantly next to Admiral Beau, hugging your clipboard. What could have happened to change your entire demeanour within the space of a few hours since he saw you leave his dorm.

“Captain Mitchel is no longer your instructor, and as of today, there are new mission parameters courtesy of OS Spencer-Floyd.” Your heart sank when the Admiral pinned this on you. Bob sat up a little straighter in his chair when he saw your head sink toward the ground slightly. “The time to target is now four minutes, you'll be entering the valley level at reduced speed. No to exceed 420 knots.” you watched as Bob turned to look at Phoenix.

“Sir, won't we be giving their planes time to intercept?” you could practically see the concern oozing from Bob's expression.

“Well Lieutenant, you have a fighting chance against enemy aircraft– what are the odds of surviving a head-on collision with a mountain?” Bob went to speak, but the slight shake of the head you gave told him enough to know it was a losing battle. “You’ll be attacking the target from a higher altitude, level with the north wall, which will be a little harder to keep your laser on target, but you will avoid a high G force climbing out.”

“We’ll be sitting ducks for enemy missiles.” Payback leaned over and whispered just loud enough so you would hear to Fanboy. Both looking at you like you'd stabbed them in the back.

“There's no way the OS signed off on this?” Hangman interjected. “She wouldn't send dear old hubby up there against all those odds.” As much as you didnt appracted the tone Hangman conveyed? He was right, you haven't been a part of this. Not in the slightest bit. You wouldn’t have put Bob in that position, hell— you wouldn’t have put any of them in that situation. Not with everything that had to lose. This wasn’t what you thought being a Top Gun WOS would lead Bob, especially when it felt like you’d just become personally responsible for this situation. Bob's face had never looked more concerned, you hated how he looked at you right now. With confusion and anger, not with the passion and drive he had some years ago—fresh out of Top Gun.

“Well—“ you beamed, watching as Bob strutted towards you in his Ceremonial Naval uniform. “It looks like all that rice and ginger really paid off huh?” You chuckled, wrapping your arms around the man you loved as he ducked his head into the crook of your neck. Top Gun papers crumbled in his hand as he took you into his arms. “I’m so proud of you—“

“I never could have done this, any of this, without you.” Bob cooed as he kissed your cheek. His Top Gun graduation had seen Bob come out as one of the best weapons systems officers the Navy had to offer. You’d managed to use some PTO to witness the moment your fiancées Career truly started to take a turn. “I don’t think I’d be here if you hadn’t run into me all those years ago.” You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you reached out to gently take Bob's cheek in your palm, rubbing the pad of your thumb against his cheek. “Chasing you, falling in love with you, paid off.” Bob gave you too much credit when he was the one who put the effort in, who was the best at what he did. Kissing him over and over again.

“You were always gonna do great things Robert Floyd, I’m just so beyond grateful I get to witness you achieve them” you mumbled against his lips. “I’m so fucking proud of you—“

“I’m a Top Gun Weapons Systems officer—“ Bob beamed, jumping with excitement for a moment as he swept you off your feet. “Holy shit!”

“You’re in the big leagues now Baby!” You chuckled, Bob spinning you around with so much pride. “I’m almost nervous to have to work on missions for you—you know, if they ever actually post us together.” Bob didn’t care, he’d follow your orders any day, no matter what, no matter where.

“I’d follow you to the moon and back, just make sure I come home in one piece and we’ll be good.”

“Admiral Beau informed me of the sudden and drastic measures this morning, they go against my advice and council as Operations Systems Specialist.” you explained. “I've run the course, I've calculated all probability and factored in risk to reward ratios and without fail every time, it's a failed run.”

“That's enough Renee–” Admiral Beau hissed as you looked at Bob with so much desperation in your eyes. You didn’t want this—that all too prominent sickness pooling in your stomach once again, perhaps that pop tart wasn’t the most nutritious breakfast?

“I requested an extension of fifteen seconds to be added to the mission time, total time two minutes and forty five seconds–” you rushed to explain to the class that sat before you absolutely dumbfounded.

“Enough–!” It was like a ton of bricks had come down on you. Admiral Beau had had enough but you could no longer be a part of this mission if it meant sending people out against every odd in the book.

“With that in mind I can no longer in good Conscience propose my professional findings and wish to be removed as Operations Specialist from this mission effective immediately.”

“Renee!?” Bob stood from his chair, questioning what you’d just done. You couldn’t leave him on this mission like this—he trusted you, above anyone else, to keep him, to keep his team safe on this mission.

As you tried to resign from your posting, the monitor behind you began to beep. An F-18 signal appeared on the screen.Turning you couldn’t hide the smile that crept upon your face.

“Who the hell is that?’ Admiral Beau questioned sternly as he turned to you, shrugging your shoulders, playing dumb, you watched on as Mavericks voice came through the comms.

“Maverick to range control, entering point alpha– confirm green range.” He spoke confidently like this wasn’t a massive breach of security.

“Uh Maverick range control—uh, green range is confirmed. I don't see you on the event scheduled for your sir.” Range control responded promptly as Bob snuck up beside you.

“What the hell is going on with you!?” He whispered softly in your ear. “I’m starting to rethink ever coming here.”

“God if I had it my way neither of us would be here!” You sighed. “I’m in a very difficult position right now and I won’t be responsible for sending you all up there to die a pointless death—“ you whispered back under your breath, turning back to face to monitor as Bob's fingers gently played with yours. A small but fleeting moment.

“Well, I'm going anyway.” Maverick responded. Not a care in the world besides his team, his fellow pilots, his OS.

“Nice.” you whispered. “Stupid, but—“

“You didn’t tell him to do this did you?” Bob whispered in your ear as you smirked, turning to whisper in his ear.

“I would never break the rules— Lieutenant.”

“Oh my god you definitely did—“

“I’ll deny every knowing you if you snitch—“

“Mav has a death wish and you took advantage of that!”

“Yeah well at least it won’t be you who ends up dead!”

You and Bob went back and forth before you heard Maverick you cer the comms again.

“Setting time to target, two minutes and fifteen seconds.” Maverick confirmed as you set the timer for the class to see. Stepping closer to Admiral Beau you couldn’t help the joy in your eyes as you stuck it to him, handing him your clipboard with all your reports and trials attached.

“Two fifteen has proven thus far to be an impossible time.” You mentioned to Admiral Beau, “if Maverick flies this mission's simulation successfully, it will be with my most profound expert opinion that he flys mission lead.”

“You know what, I've just about had enough of you, Radar.” Admiral Beau groaned through his gritted teeth, the entire class looking at you for some miracle.

“With all due respect sir, this is what happens when you try and do my job.” You replied sharply. “Two minutes and thirty seconds is my proposal for time to target, don’t like it? They die, simple, but that better be a good enough excuse for their families to accept—“ you paused for a moment turning back to look at Bob. “But it’s not one I would—“

—--------

Time felt as if it stood still—the time between when Admiral Beau almost fired you for trying to quit and re-hiring Pete after firing him felt like milliseconds before you stood before the class on the carrier.

“It has been an honour working with you all.” You spoke softly, standing next to Maverick as he made his final division on who would fly. At this stage, you weren’t briefed on his decision because at that very moment even he didn't know. All you knew is that you wished it wouldn’t be Bob—not because he couldn’t handle it, but because you knew you couldn’t.

“It has been an honour flying with you. Each one of you represents the best of the best, but this is a very specific mission. My choice is a reflection of that and nothing more.” As Maverick spoke you could feel Hangman's eyes burning into you.

Unbeknownst to you, Jake had learnt to live and let go, he’d appreciated Bob without your knowledge—accepting his actions were probably a little dicky. He just hadn’t been able to catch you alone.

“Choose your two foxtrot teams.’ Admiral Beau asked. It was at this moment your heart sank, from both pride and nervousness.

“Payback and Fanboy–” Maverick spoke sternly, turning slightly to where Bob stood tall, nervous to hear his name called. “Phoenix and Bob–” you froze. Tears welled as you tried to hold it together. Fuck.

“And your wingman?” Cyclone asked once more before you were up for the final briefing. Trembling because this might be it. “This could very well be the mission that takes your husband away from you.”

“Rooster.” Maverick responded before he stood back. Watching as you approached the podium, fumbling with your papers. Clearing your throat that had become so dry it was almost unbearable.

“Your Target is a clear and present threat. A secret uranium enrichment site under rogue state control.” You stood before the selected few that Maverick had deemed ready to fly this mission. You couldn't help but to drown out the rest just to focus on the way Bob was looking at you. So much love and admiration for you. “It’s an underground bunker, tucked between these two mountains.” Being up a slide on the projector behind you. “Your path of ingress is heavily defended by surface to air missiles backed up by fifth generation fighters.”

Bob couldn't focus on anything but you. Not the importance of your briefing or the way you looked stone cold serious. Your words mumbled into one another as his brain fogged, his cerebellum flooding with memories.

Bob didn’t see you coming. He hung his head low as he manoeuvred his way through the busy mess hall. Clutching his lunch tray, Bob felt the sudden force of something that he clearly wasn’t supposed to run into sending him back in a clash and mess of jasmine rice and fresh ginger. His pre-flight meal completely covering him.

“Oh my gosh!” You dropped to your knees beside Bob, frazzled and completely overwhelmed with the situation you and your spatial awareness or lack thereof had caused. “I am so unbelievably sorry—“ Bob wasn’t sure if he couldn’t breathe because he’d had the wind knocked out of him or if he couldn’t breathe because you were probably the most beautiful women he’d ever seen before in his life. “Here let me help—“ you started piling the mess of jasmine rice up off the floor back onto the now empty lunch tray. The giggles and chuckles from passer byers echoed in your head as you felt the heat in your cheeks begin to rise from utter embarrassment.

“Radar didn’t pick up on the incoming target did it Radar?” One of the rookie fighter pilots teased as he walked by. “System malfunction or user error?”

“You know what? E.T, why don’t you eat my whole ass—“ you hissed. Invoking a crowd of ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’. Sighing as you turned your attention back to Bob who couldn’t help but to stare at you like you were just the embodiment of all things beauty. “I’m such an idiot I can’t believe I—“

“I’m Bob—“ Bob pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he stuck his hand out for you to shake. “Robert, actually—but uh, everyone just calls me Bob.” For a second you let Bob keep his hand out, just before he pulled away thinking you weren't going to shake his hand. You did.

“Renee, um Radar—“ You introduced yourself, shaking Bob's hands softly before a gentle smile spread across his face in return. “I didn’t see you coming, you some kind of stealth pilot Bob?” You tried to keep the conversation going as Bob joined in on the cleanup.

“Weapons systems actually—“ Bob corrected, completely missing the joke. You couldn’t help but to laugh softly. “What about you?”

“Operations systems—“ you replied. “Uh well, again I’m really sorry I ruined your uh, bowl of rice and ginger?” Your statement turned into more of a puzzled question. Kneeling on the floor next to Bob. He could have sworn in that very moment you were his end game. He’d spend the next seven years of his life crushing on the girl that sat beside him in defence training, spend seven years loving the women who brought out the very best of him. Who knew him better than anyone else, who’d support and follow him to the edge of the world.

“I uh—I haven’t quite mastered the concept of not throwing up yet.” Bob admitted as he stood, holding his hand out for you to take, helping you up. Accepting you pushed yourself up off the ground. “Helps settle my stomach.” You didn’t respond as quickly as you would have liked to. You were too busy taking in Bob. His lips, his eyes. The way his glasses sat slightly crooked. You were hooked on Bob from day dot. He’d turn into your biggest supporter, your best friend—the love of your life.

“How come I’ve never met you before?” dusting yourself off. Hoping the fact you had never noticed Bob before running directly into him wouldn’t come across as an insult—knowing then and there that you wanted to get to know him. “Did you just transfer?” The naval academy base in Lamoore wasn’t a big place—but when it came to Robert Floyd? He knew how to blend in. A wallflower tried and true. Deciding not to go with the truth of the matter which was:

‘No I just don’t stand out, I’m sort of easy to overlook.’

Bob lied.

“Yeah, yeah I uh, I just joined actually.” Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Honestly, I don't even know if this whole thing is gonna work out.” Bob sighed, doubting himself.

“Well, Bob—“ you smirked, pressing your lips together as you handed him his empty lunch tray. “Maybe we can try to make this whole thing work together?” You tried to flirt, Bob didn’t know how to respond.

“Haven’t you heard about the non-fraternisation rule for naval academy cadets?” Bob pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose once again. He could feel his heart about to explode in his chest.

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about it—“ you chuckled. Taking in all that way Bob. “But I like to live on the edge.”

“Once your F-18 strike team crosses the border, Tomahawk missiles from the USS Leyte Gulf will launch a synchronised strike on the enemy's airfield here.” Your voice brought Bob back after he’d reminisced about the first time he’d spoken to you. Not knowing how such a small accident would change the trajectory of his life, his career.

“This will knock out their runway, but you’ll have to contend with any plans already in the air. The moment those Tomahawks hit, the enemy will know you're coming.” His best friend since that very moment, his wife, his soulmate. It was always you and would never not be you. Bob felt his emotions getting the better of him, realising quickly that this might be the one—the one he doesn’t make it back from.

“Your time to target will be two minutes and thirty seconds, any longer than that, and you will be exposed to any aircraft the tomahawks may have missed.” Bob loved you, he wanted to grow old with you and have a family. As he stood there staring back at you as you looked at him like there was not a single person other than him in that room—he knew. He knew you knew that this might very well be the one. And honestly? You couldn’t help but to think you’d sent him to his untimely death as you explained the final brief. Exiting the room promptly as your tears began to fall freely down your cheeks.

“This is what you've all been training for.” You heard Admiral Beau take over as you walked away. Bob stood waiting to be dismissed so he could run to you. Tell you everything would be okay because if you believed it he would too. “Come home safely.” Racing out after you Bob turned to look around to see which way you went, spotting Hangman in the process, needing one favour.

“Jake! Hey Jake—“ Bob called out as he raced after Hangman. “You got a second man?”

———————-

The flight desk was packed to the rafters. Men and women scrambling to their stations preparing the F-18’s for take off. But through the chaos of it all? To Bob? You stood out in the crowd. Never hard to find in a crowded room—his heart leading him to you always. With complete and utter ease. With his helmet tucked under his arm, Bob came up behind you. His flight suit adorning his body as his free hand snaked around the small of your back.

“I’m sorry—“ Bob had to shout over the noise. Turning to face him, you took a moment to drink in the sight of him. God he looked too good in his uniform. Bob kept a hold of you, his hand pulling you closer by the small of your back. Fingers dancing along the waistline of your skirt. “Here, I want you to hold onto this for me until I get back to you alright.” Bob took his hand away from where it had made its home on your back. Fishing out his wedding band from his top pocket. Holding your hand out you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

“If you don’t come back to me I’ll be really pissed.” You tried to smile, but all that happened was a small sob. “God dammit you better come home—“ throwing your arms around Bob's shoulders you held him tight as he held you. His own tears began to become hard to hold back. “That’s an order Lieutenant.” Pulling back to take one more look at your husband. “Get in, get out—“

“Get in, get out, get back to you.” Bob added, kissing your forehead before kissing your lips, softly, with so much passion. He needed one more taste of you just in case. His free hand holding your chin, keeping your lips pressed against his. “I love you so much, you have no idea how much I love you.” Bob’s voice was low as he let his forehead rest against yours. “You don’t know how badly I would rather give this all up to run away with you, this very second.”

“You’re a Top Gun—you were trained for this, but I can’t help but want to be selfish and just—yeah let’s run away.” You chuckled softly. “Somewhere far away.”

“Australia?” Bob questioned as he kissed you again.

“Not far enough—“ you responded, settling into the moment as Bob drew you in for another hug. “Please for the love of god come back to me.” Bob knew deep down it was unfair to make a promise he didn’t know if he could keep, but for you? He’d lie.

“I promise I’ll come back, in one piece this time.”

“Don't forget to watch your ribs alright—Dr Chris said—“

“Yo Bob! Hey man it’s time to go, get a move on before—“ your grip on Bob grew a little tighter, not ready to give him up. Turning to look at Hangman as he approached you.

“Mind your own damn business Hangman, I’m having a conversation with my husband here.” You hissed as you shot Jake a look, so much hurt, so many emotions as he walked over. Coming closer than you would have liked. Placing a soft hand on your shoulder—you knew.

“It’s time Bob—you gotta get going man.” Bob and Hangman shared an all knowing look, Jake might have been an arse but he knew, Bob needed someone to stay with you while he walked away, to hold you back because god he knew you’d run after him.

“You better get ready to be my all seeing eyes, need my Radar ready to go.” Bob tipped your chin to look at him. “Can’t do this without you—“ Bob kissed you one final time before he stepped away, you reached for his wrist as Jake stopped you, pulling you slightly back as Bob kept walking towards where Phoenix stood by the F-18.

“Jake! What is your problem let me—“ panic set in as your legs grew weak. “Let me go!” Smacking his chest you yelled. “Bob!! No—no no no no Bob! Bob please—“ crying, you felt weak, your legs gave out for a split second, enough time for Jake to have to pull you up. Never having seen you like this, he did the only thing he knew what to do. What he was trained to do.

“Hey—!” He hissed, straightening you up. “You don’t get to do this, you keep standing, know matter how rough the sea? You keep standing, know matter what you don’t give up because if he turns around and sees you giving up? What’s to stop him from accepting that he might not come home? Huh, pull it together—“

“God I hate you—“

“Not an issue, sunshine.” Hangman held you as you cried. Sobbing into his chest as his flight suit muffled your screams of agony. Of heartbreak. Bob turned around just before he climbed up the wing into his WOS seat. His heart was absolutely sinking into his chest. Hangman holding a thumbs up to Bob—he had this.

“I’m gonna be sick.” You coughed, pushing Jake away as you made a dash for the edge of the carrier, hurling your guts up over the edge. Jake coming to rub your back as he watched you experience something he hadn’t in a very long time.

Heartbreak.

“I can’t imagine what the two of you must be feeling.” Hangman cooed, trying his best to comfort you. “But I won’t stand here and let you spiral out of control OS—they need you.”

The sound of your gloves connecting with the boxing pads Bob wore echoed through your Garage turned gym in Lamoore.

“Who do these guys think they are!” You grunted. Sending a right hook Bob's way as he braced for impact. “So humiliating!”

“They’ll never know they need you until they’re asking for an Operations System Specialist to go over their mission reports.” Bob was more than happy to help you let out your frustration, your anger. Leading random combinations so you had something to focus on.

“I should have been a florist like my dad said—“ you scoffed. “What was I bloody thinking, join the Navy, serve your country— blah blah blah, you know what?” You paused, panting as you unstrapped your gloves. “It’s always been the blood men in the Navy I’ve had an issue with, it’s never been civilians or your average Joy flippin Blow.”

“Can we go back to the florist thing for a second?“ Bob teased. “You’ve killed every plant that’s ever flowered in this house—“

“That’s because you’re always deployed and I’m always working on base—“ you replied with a sigh. It was nice to have Bob around for a few days. “Okay so, what else is there?” You questioned, catching your breath as you took a sip of water, sitting down with your knees to your elbows as you looked up at Bob. “Kindergarten teacher? Honestly it’s probably on the same level as trying to teach naval recruits how to read Radar patterns, only the kindergarteners will think that’s cool and not ask me out.”

“Baker? Yeah—You do do a mean banana muffin?” Bob complimented you as he sat beside you, taking his boxing pads off. “Always miss those delicious little things while I’m deployed.” Laughing softly together you sighed. Bob always knew how to soothe your soul.

“Am I losing it?” You questioned. Letting your head drop after a hard day. “Should I just—honestly should I just change career paths?”

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Bob interrupted. “I mean while you're tossing up a career change, may as well ask.”

“Sure, anything—“ you leaned in to rest your head on Bob's shoulder.

“Have you ever uh, ever thought about kids?” Bob asked softly, his own head had been filled with the idea as of late. Every time he woke up next to you, every time he woke up away from you. He’d never thought about kids before he met you. Was he ready this very second? No. But it would be nice to know if you were both on the same page.

“I mean, yeah—not in heavy detail or at great lengths but I’ve thought about it.” You admitted, twirling the promise ring Bob had gifted you on Valentine’s Day around your finger. This was uncharted territory, you wanted kids, one day, in the distant future.

“What’s the verdict?” Bob tried his best to pry an answer from you, bumping his side you smirked, trying to hide your giddiness. Suddenly like a teenager fresh out of high school.

“The juries still out, but I think it’ll just come down to the right time—with the right person.”

“Right person huh?” Bob cooed, leaning in to press his lips against yours softly. “What’s he’s like?”

“Someone who’s kind, caring, a little bit of a wallflower—eats ginger like it’s fucking carrot, man you gotta stop that shit.” explaining Bob’s personality to him you smirked, Bob softly pushed your head from his shoulder in retaliation. Laughing. “Think he’d be a great dad one day.”

“Well—all we need now is the right time? Because I’ve got my right person.”

“Ease off Lieutenant.” You sighed, wiping your mouth on your sleeve as you turned on your heels, you slid down the railing. Feeling off, dizzy. Fuck this feeling just wouldn’t go away, but you self diagnosed the problem as stress related. You were usually good on your sea legs. Jake doing the same as he sat beside you. “Just give me five minutes—“

“You know, you don’t always have to be strong, sometimes you just need to cuss, scream, or have a really good cry— but never, never get stuck there.” You fell into Hangman’s chest, his arm coming to wrap his arm around your shoulder. Shooing off anyone who dared come near you. “Pull yourself together Radar, and go back to being the bad arse Operations Systems Specialist you are— honestly, none of us would be as good as we are together without you.”

“When and why did you have to end up being a decent person?” You chuckled, rubbing your cheeks as you tried your best to stop the tears from flowing. “Jerk—“

“Bob asked me to look out for you, don’t think this is the start of some sort of friendship.” Jake smirked, standing, he held out a hand for you, helping you up as you dusted yourself off. “You go give ‘em hell.”

—-----

It was more than what you had bargained for, you couldn’t control your breathing, twirling Bob's wedding band around your dog tag chain, you took a deep breath in and out.

“Dagger one, away, Dagger two away. Dagger three away–dagger four away.” You reported to the team on the bridge before you saw the team of four F-18’s show up on your radar systems.

“OS, Dagger one standby check in.” Mavericks voice came through the comms, calming you as you repeated back your findings.

“Maverick, check in–picture is clear, recommend Dagger continue.”

“Copy, Daggers desencind below radar.” In the space of a few seconds, the steady blinking of your radar vanished, the four distinct visuals you had now gone, completely undetected by the radar system.

“Daggers now below radar, switching to E2 picture.” Flipping your signals over you brought up the locations of your Dagger squad once again, to see four planes moving at a steady pace kept your heart from exploding inside your chest.

“Enemy territory up ahead, set to arrive in sixty seconds, OS Dagger one requesting picture.” Maverick reported loud and clear in your headset.

“OS, picture clean.” You paused for a split second, knowing this one it, the final moment of no return. Holding your breath you closed your eyes tight, exhaling slowly. “Decision is yours, copy.”

“Copy–” Maverick paused before giving his final decision. “Dagger attack–” Signalling for the crew who were ready on the tomahawks, you gave your order, listening to the raw of the Tomahawks blast overhead.

“Tomahawks airborne, no turning back now.” You mumbled to Admiral Beau as he stood behind your station. Mavericks voice still clear as day through the comms.

“Daggers, assume attack formation.” A few seconds went past as you watched them change formation on your E2 system. “Daggers set, proceeding to target, two minutes and thirty seconds in three, two, one, mark.” You set your timer, as did Rooster, Phoenix and Payback. All synced. So far so good.

At the sudden and abrupt beeping of your radar, you turned around in your chair, sussing out what was happening before making a comms announcement.

“Daggers, OS here, we’re picking up two bandits, signal for two contacts.” Bob could hear the panic in your voice as you tried to play it cool.

“Where the hell did they come from?” Admiral Beau asked as you tried to get more of a visual.

“Long range patrol?” Admiral Bates tried to make an educated guess.”

“Radar, what's their heading?” You heard Phoenix ask as you scrambled to repeat your findings.

“Bullseye zero nine zero fifty, tax southwest.” You repeated. Trying to figure out what was going on.

“They’re heading away from us, they don't know we’re here.” Rooster chimed in. The comms opening up for everyone.

“The second those tomahawks hit the air base those bandits are gonna move to defend the target, we have to get there before they do, increase speed.”

“We got your Mav, don't wait for me.” Phoenix copied through the comms as you watched Maverick and Phoenix increase their speed. Rooster and Payback falling behind the timer. Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach, that bloody vomit sensation rising.

“Sir, Daggers two and four are behind schedule, time to target one minute and twenty seconds.” Before you could even take a breath you heard your warnings going off. “Tomahawk impact in, three, two–” A small victory in the grand scheme of things, but you wore a brief smile as the target was confirmed. “Impact, the enemy runway is destroyed.” noticing within an instant your radar blinked, the bandits changing course drastically.

“Bandits changing course to defend their target.” feeling the all too familiar feeling rising in your stomach you jumped from your seat, leaving your station. “OS requesting permission to leave the bridge, effective immediately, OS Stevens take the charge!” you gagged, cupping your mouth as you dashed off to the side, finding the nearest bathroom before dropping to your knees, emptying the content of your stomach yet again. Coughing and splattering as you did so.

“You’ve got that James Dean, day dream, look in your eye—!” You couldn’t hear how ridiculous you sounded over the music blaring in your headphones. Your pyjamas on, early night in ahead of you as you stood over the stove, heating up the leftover soup you’d gotten from the Chinese shop just a few clicks down the road. “Mm—no.” Tapping your right airpod to skip to the next song.

“What’s cookin, good lookin?” Bob teased as his duffel bag hit the kitchen floor, scaring you half to death as you let out a scream and turned with a shocked look plastered on your face. “Miss me?”

“Jesus Bob what the hell are you doing home!?” You grinned from ear to ear, running towards where Bob stood, jumping into his arms. You weren’t expecting him home for at least another three weeks. The house you shared together in Lamoore seemed to always be a little less homie whenever Bob was on deployment. “Why are you here? What the hell?”

“I got a new posting actually—“ Bob spun you around and placed you on the island bench of the kitchen. “Said I could take my shore leave now before I go.”

“That’s odd? I just got mine too? For three weeks from now?” You added, your legs wrapped around Bob' waist keeping him close. “We never get deployed at the same time?” It was an uncanny coincidence, every time you’d be stateside, Bob would be on some carrier somewhere. Whenever you were posted out to run operations for patrol boats Bob would be at home, stateside. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me?” Bob replied, kissing your lips softly as you cupped his cheeks.

“I’m going to Miramar—“ you said softly.

“Miramar—“ Bob said sadly.

With wide eyes you shared a look with Bob, something between worry, panic and excitement.

“Hang on, why are you going to Top Gun?” Bob asked, puzzled as to why they would want him back, but having you there added another question into the mix.

“Operations, something big by the sounds of it, heard they’re bringing in one of the best to kinda lead you guys.” You replied softly, your eyes taking in every inch of your husband. “Do you know who your partner is?”

“Not a clue, guess I’ll find out soon though, god are you really gonna be my OS?” Bob sighed, taking the piss. “You’re such a hard task master—“

“Ease off mate, you’re just jealous I don’t have to sit in the back seat of an F-18 with ginger and rice threatening to come up every five minutes—“ Bob pulled your head closer, his fingers gripping your hair as you hissed. The sting was worth it. So worth it.

“Fuck I missed you—“ kissing you with enough passion to knock you out, Bob asked for more as his tongue danced with yours. Soft moans escaping from the both of you as you worked to undo his belt buckle. “So much beautiful—“

“Missed you from the moment you left.” You whispered into Bob's mouth as his hands roamed your body, stripping items of clothing off your body as you did with him. Picking you up off the bench, you wrapped your legs around Bob's waist as he carried you into the living room—his lips never leaving yours. Dropping down to the lounge.

“I’ve had some many dreams, woken up some nights a mess because you’re all I can think about.” Ravaging your neck as his fingers snapped the waistband of your panties against your skin before slipping in. Wet folds coating his digits. “You're so wet, did you miss me as much as I missed you?” Bob questioned as he slipped his fingers inside your folds. Coaxing his fingers against your velvet walls. Nodding you moaned. So much pleasure already.

“So much—fuck so much.” Your hand was quick to find Bob's length through his boxer briefs. Bringing him a sense of relief as you worked him. Feeling him harden and grow in your grip. “Want you so bad, need you—“ you moaned as Bob removed his fingers from you. Coming to lick what mess you’d made of his fingers in front of you before sinking down to take your lips with his. Nails digging into his back. Obsessed with one another’s taste, one another’s touch.

“Right time?” Bob whispered with a smirk as he pulled back. Jumping up for a second to race upstairs to his bedside table. “Or not?” Bob cooed. Leaving the choice up to you. Not expecting the answer he got.

“Just fuck me Lieutenant.”

“Eye eye ma’am—“ Bob replied before he joined you on the lounge again. Forgetting everything he knew about protection.

Pulling yourself together, you washed your hand throurraly before returning to your station. All eyes were on you as OS Stevens returned to his corner and allowed you to slide back into work. Your eyes focused down on the E2. placing your headset on you heard maverick in your ear.

“Get me eyes on that target Bob.” You had made your return to the bridge just as they were all approaching the target.

“Target three, stand by Mav!” Bob shouted.

“C’mn Bob, c’mon–” you whispered to yourself. “C’mon baby you got this..”

“Standy by!--” The lock tone came through your comms loud and clear. “I've got it! Captured!”Bob shouted, with no time left to waist Maverick locked on.

“Taget acquired, bombs away!”

“We've got impact! Check! direct hit, direct hit!!” Bob's voice was full of joy, shock even as the target blew.

“That's miracle number one–” Admiral Bates stood behind your smirking as you tried to hide your smile, so proud, so unbelievably proud. Waiting for Rooster to finish the mission with a successful take out—which he did. You jumped out of your seat when he confirmed the hit.

“Bullseye, Bylleyes, bullseye!!!’ you shouted. The entire bridge cheered as you confirmed what they had all been waiting for.

“That's miracle number two Sir.” You chuckled to Admiral Bates, still standing behind you like a hawk, watching what you saw through all your monitors.

“Now they're in confin corner–” he replied sternly. His eyes never leaving your screens, your monitors. The pair of you listening in on what you could only describe as one of the most horrific surface to air missile attacks known to date.

“Radar warning, smoke in the air, Phoenix, break right.” Maverick shouted.

“Emergency Jamison target three defending.” Phoenix replied sharply.

“Here comes another one!” Bob shouted, it tore your heart into a million pieces.

“Dagger one defending–” Maverick shouted, hitting his emergency flares. “Rooster status.”

“Oh my god!” You heard the panic in Rooster's voice as he entered the assault after making it safely over Coffin Corner. “Smoke in the air smoke in the air!”

“Break right Payback, break right!” Fanboy shouted from his WOS seat.

“Breaking right!” Payback confirmed as you tried to keep up with all the commotions coming through the comms. Tears in your eyes. “Oh my god here they go!”

“Coming up on your six Rooster!” Payback confirmed.

“Deploying countermeasures!” Rooster set off his flares, like pops in your ear. “Negative contact!”

“Dager one defending!” Maverick swung heavy into the direction of his wingman.

“Talk to me Bob!” Phoenix shouted.

“Break right Pheonix break right!” Bob's voice could not have sounded more panicked if he was trying. He knew you would be listening. “Nine o’clock! Nine o’clock!” it began all too much for you to keep up with for a moment, all the aviatoros voices compiling into one big mash of noise.

“Rooster , two more on your six!”

“Dagger two defending!”

“Payback, smae of your nose!”

“Dagger one defending.”

“Rooster, tally, tally.”

“Talk to me Bob!”

“On our six!”

“Phoenix break right!”

“Dagger two defending!” Rooster's voice was prominent in your ears. “shit i'm all out of flares.”

“Rooster, evade, evade.” you knew Maverick would lay his life on the line for Rooster. You'd like to think he’d do the same for Bob if it was him. Listening on, you felt hopeless, completely numb.

“I can't shake em, they're on me, they're one me!” pulling back the throttle, you heard Maverick let off his emergency flares. Flying over the top of Rooster as he did so to cover his wingman. You knew this wasn't going to end well. For a counter attack defence manoeuvre it was incredibly risky, and the reward was never that of a high ratio.

“Mav! No!” Rooster cried out. When explosions were heard throughout the bridge, you winced, closing your eyes at the dreaded shout sure to echo through your head for days after.

“Dager one is hit! I repeat, ``Dagger one is hit!” Phoenix shouted over the comms as you tried to process what had just happened and how to proceed, calling on every ounce of your training to get you through the next few minutes. To bring your husband and the rest of the team home safely. “Maverick id down–”

“Dagger one status?” Rooster's voice felt heavy, it seemed full of sorrow and anguish as it rang through your ears, your cheeks wet with tears. “Status, anyone see him? Does anyone see him– Dagger one come in–”

“I didn't see a parachute.” Payback explained. You couldn't breathe, your radar showing more bandits heading towards the dagger crew. Drawing every ounce of strength you had to make the radio callout.

“We have to circle back” You could hear the heartbreak in Rooster’s voice. It mimicked your own.

“OS, bandits inbound, single group hot. I recommend Daggers fly south.” pausing for a second you exhaled hopelessness. “One minute till intercept.”

“Get 'em back to the carrier–” Admiral Beau ordered, watching your hands shake as you zoomed in on your radar trying to see any other way around leaving Maverick behind. You knew Rooster would blame you, you knew this would give him a reason to blame you for Mavericks' untimely death, but as selfish as it was, you wanted your husband back and safe, in one piece, which at the moment, he was.

“All Daggers fly to ECP, you have bandits headed for you.”

“What about Maverick!?” Rooster hissed.

“Tell him there's nothing he can do for Maverick, not in a goddamn F-18!” Admiral Beau hissed at you.

“Dagger spare requesting permission to launch and fly air cover.” Hangman shouted from his position on the flight deck, turning to the Admiral you were on board with the idea, however, to your dismay, he denied the request.

“Negative spare–” you confirmed the denied request to launch.

“Launch search and research.” Admiral Bates commanded, only to have Admiral Beau go against his wishes.

“Negative, not with bandits in the air.”

“Sir! Maverick is still out there!” you shouted, it was bad enough you had told Rooster to stand down and leave his wingman, but not to not launch a search and rescue?

“We are not losing anyone else today!” The Admiral raised his voice at you. “ get them home now! Radar, that is a direct order.”

“Yes sir, Admiral Beau sir.” You gritted your teeth, swinging around in your chair.

“Confirming with all dagger units, you are not to engage, repeat, do not engage, return to carrier, acknowledge.” Your cheeks were sopping wet.” Feeling light headed as your head became increasingly heavy on your shoulders. “Ack-acknowledge Daggers.”

“Rooster, those bandits are closing, we can't go back.” You heard phoenix trying to talk some sense into Rooster when he didn't acknowledge you radio.

“He's gone Rooster, mavericks Gone–” Bob replied, it was the last thing you heard before your body couldn't handle another second, your vision tunnelling before complete nothingness took over.

—-----

“I’m sure it was just a mix of stress, anxiety and exhaustion, Lieutenant Floyd, nothing to be alarmed about at this stage but I highly recommend getting a few tests done when we’re back stateside.” Swain, the carrier’s resident medical officer explained. Leaning back in his chair as you came to with a groggy head. Bob holding your hand as he stood beside where you laid on the bed. “Some bloodwork, we wanna rule out pregnancy or any other conditions that might bring on sudden spells of dizziness and fainting episodes.”

“Uh—yeah.” Bob pressed his hips together as he nodded in response. The mention of pregnancy sparking his interest—Bob hadn’t heard you complain about period cramps or anything? He was sure you were late.But you would have said otherwise? Right? “Yeah sure thing, thank you sir.”

“Don’t call me sir Bob I work for a living—“

Swain chuckled as he removed his gloves. “I’ll leave you two be for a few minutes, just make sure she drinks that cup of Hydralyte and takes two Advil.”

Your vision was blurry at first as you tried to sit up. Bob held your hand as he helped ease you up slowly. Your first instinct? To draw him in for a hug. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he did so your waist. “Hi—“

“You’re back, thank heavens, I was so worried I’d never see you again.” You admitted. “And I’ve changed my mind, I never want to be your OS again.” You confessed. “I’ll never get that out of the back of my mind, god—not knowing if the next missile would be—“

“Hey, I’m here, I’m okay? It’s you I'm worried about?” Bob cooed, cupping your cheeks as he leaned in to gently kiss your lips. Something he thought he’d never be able to do again.

“I’m not overthinking this Bob, that was a close call, right? Too close.” You couldn’t tell at the time, but Bob would leave that carrier a changed man. Haunted and plagued with nightmares, he’d lie awake at night and hear the sounds of surface to air Missiles, he’d hear the sounds of defense flares and of course, he’d hear you cry for the man you could have lost. But for now? Bob would smile, he’d kiss your forehead as he took in the smell of your perfume. Subtle and floral.

“You know me, I secretly live for that sort of stuff—“ Bob pulled back, handing you the cup of blackcurrant hydralyte, taking it gracefully, you rolled your eyes as you took a sip.

“We’ll just as long as you don’t die for it.” You teased, mumbling into the plastic cup as you washed your Advil down. “I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t make it come.” That all too familiar feeling came racing back to the surface as you cupped your mouth, dashing over to the sink as you emptied whatever was left in your stomach. The hydralyte coming right back up. Bob watched on with a puzzled expression, checking the date on his watch, just having a small but pressing hunch.

“Hey—uh, are you— um? Late? by any chance?” You coughed in response, washing your mouth out with water as you sighed. Standing on sea legs that had done nothing but fail you while being on this carrier. “Is there a chance—“

“Oh shit—“ you gasped. “Fuck, I am, I’ve been so worried about you and this damn mission I didn’t even realise.” You could feel your heart trying to explode out of your chest. “Oh god am I pregnant? Are we pregnant?”

“If you were, would it be such a bad thing?” Bob stepped close to you, his hand coming to rest on top of your stomach as he drank in the sight of you. The love of his life. “Right person? Maybe it’s the right time?” Kissing your lips, Bob softly let a moan escape as you deepened the kiss, arms wrapping around his neck. You smirked against his lips as you pulled back. The idea that you might possibly be pregnant not such a terrible one.

“Right person, right time.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

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@kkrenae @lexhalstead3 @justanothermagicalsara @luckyladycreator2 @milesrooster @a-serene-place-to-be

#robert bob floyd #top gun maverick fanfiction #bob floyd angst #bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd smut #bob floyd fluff #jake seresin angst #jake hangman seresin #top gun fandom #top gun bradley bradshaw #top gun rooster #top gun fic #bob floyd imagine #Bob Floyd fic #bob floyd x reader

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 1 year

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Pairing : FWB!Bangchan x F!Reader TW : suggestive content ; not actual smut though ; lots of cussing ; fighting ; angst with no happy ending ; Word Count : 4.3k Request : can i request a fic ? it can be any skz member you think best fits but i was thinking Chan… being fwb w him & when you go out together & run into old friends or family & they ask who he is you introduce him as just a friend but he gets upset because he thought you two were dating? 😬 if you’re able to can you make it extra angsty ? ☺️ A/N : Of course I can make it extra angsty! I've been thinking about this fic and how I'd write it for a good bit, and now I've finally got it! I hope this is angsty enough!! Thank you anonny for the request!!

Friends… They were essential in most people's lives. Friends were always there for you when you needed them, whether it was for a good time or a shoulder to cry on. Friends were important, and everyone loved having them. There were so many different kinds of friends too, and they all, in a way, served the same purpose. Friends were there to make you feel needed, wanted, they made you feel important when it seemed like no one else would.

A… Beneficial friend was no different. When you needed something, that friend would be right there to give you exactly what you needed, and in a way, those kinds of friends were the best. There were no strings attached to that kind of friendship, and in most cases, you didn’t even have to hang out together. It was an easy going type of friendship that was simply there for both of your satisfaction. There was no requirement to text or call everyday, no obligation to actually spend any significant amount of time together. One might say that it was the easiest kind of relationship.

The friendship with Chan had started off how most of these types of arrangements would. You met online, and neither of you actually wanted a serious relationship. There was no time for that kind of commitment in either of your lives, but you both were needy and touch starved, it was a match made in heaven one might say, except the match was made solely for sinful purposes.

Now, he was old fashioned about it, which is kind of silly to say considering nothing about what the two of you would be looked at as old fashioned in any way, shape or form. He wanted to get to know you first, and while it seemed like an unnecessary extra hurdle to go through just to get him in your bed or vice versa, you humored him. The conversation only lasted about 30 minutes, maybe an hour before he had you pinned down on the couch, which was exactly what you had wanted, but he had learned a little bit about you, and in the few moments that you were able to actually pay attention to what he was saying instead of how absolutely sexy he was, you had learned a bit about him too.

Things had gone on like that for a good while, maybe a month or two. He’d come over and you’d both pretend to be interested in what the other had to say, but it only lasted so long before your hands were on one another and you’d both end up sweaty and tangled together. Most of the time you didn’t even make it to your room, your desperateness causing you to get what you needed wherever and whenever you could, whether that was on the living room couch, the floor, sometimes even the kitchen counter. You didn’t even care, and it seemed like he didn’t either.

After those few months, he started bringing over snacks and drinks, and honestly, you didn’t really mind. You were parched, and so hungry after what the two of you did, that sometimes you didn’t even bother getting off of him before reaching over to grab something to snack on or one of the many water bottles to get a sip of before starting round 3 or 4.

You did get comfortable around him, it was hard not to since he was over your apartment at least 3 times a week. Still, he was just a friend. Of course, that didn’t mean that the two of you didn’t watch movies together, and sometimes you’d eat dinner together, hell, you’d even cuddle up with him to watch movies or tv shows. It was still just a friend thing though, because at the end-or the beginning- of any of those things, it always started with the sex, and that was the main… the only reason you were still seeing him. He gave you what you wanted whenever you wanted it, and you gave him what he wanted. It was the most perfect, non stressful agreement and you absolutely loved it.

“Chan…” You mumbled tiredly, shifting out from underneath his arm that had been heavily draped over your chest. He stirred slightly, but his arm only wrapped around you, trapping you beside him and against the mattress. “Chan!” You whispered out his name forcefully, trying to wake him up just enough to be free of his hold.

“Sleeping.” He responded, not even partially pulled from his slumber to respond, yawning softly before turning his head away from you. He was always like this the morning after, it was annoyingly cute, but right now you were hungry, your mouth was dry, and instead of being annoyingly cute, it was flat out annoying.

The muscles that you had gripped onto so tightly when he was rocking his hips into you last night were now so constricting, and you couldn’t seem to move them off of you even an inch. “Dammit, Chan.” You groaned, straining once more to get out from under his hold, and somehow, by the grace of whatever was out there, you got out, letting out a loud huff as you finally stood from the bed.

“Rude.” He grumbled, finally lifting his head from the pillow, but his smile let you know that he was teasing, his eyes squinted to try to block out the light that was shining in through the window behind you. “Where ya goin’?” He asked, pushing himself up to reveal that he was still shirtless, his muscles contracting as he lifted himself onto his knees on the bed.

“Hungry, gonna make breakfast.” You responded, trying not to look at him too long, knowing it would just lead into another round that your legs just wouldn’t be able to handle this early in the morning. You were exhausted still, but you were hungry, so hungry.

A sheepish look spread across his face as he watched you get dressed, and he let out a soft sigh. “About that…” He started, and you looked up from the pants that you were grabbing off the floor to stare at him, waiting for him to tell you about just what he looked so guilty about. “I got hungry in the middle of the night and I ate the rest of your cereal… I thought that we could just go to the store together and get something when we woke up.”

There were a lot of problems with what he had just told you. First off, he had eaten your cereal, which wasn’t such a big deal, but you knew that if you had to go out to get more you wouldn’t want it once you got back home. The second problem, the biggest problem, was the fact that he wanted to go out to the store… with you. That was a big no no, no one had ever seen the two of you together, and you wanted to keep it that way. It wasn’t because you were embarrassed of him, not in the slightest, but if you ran into someone that you knew, they’d ask about him and you didn’t want to get into that kind of conversation.

But, alas, you didn’t want to pay for the cereal, especially not after he had been the one who finished it off. “Alright… just get ready fast, I’m hungry and it’s your fault.” He shot you a smug smile that you quickly looked away from, rolling your eyes as you walked out of the bedroom.

You heard the rustling of jeans being pulled on and the soft grunt as he stretched, a sound that had become all too familiar to your ears after he had spent so many nights. “Okay, I’m ready! What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” He exclaimed, walking past you to grab his shoes and pull them on. He was so fucking annoying sometimes, and it took everything in you not to smack him for it. “You say you’re hungry but you’re taking forever!”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you slipped your feet into your shoes and grabbed your purse off the hook. “Such an ass.” You muttered as you moved past him to open the door, his arm shooting up over your head to hold it open as you walked through. “And you’re paying. I actually think I want the works for breakfast, ya know, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes. Everything.”

Of course, you were being a smartass. You knew that if you actually wanted all of that, you’d have to help make it and you weren’t up for that much work this early in the morning.

He smiled to you, nodding his head in agreement. “We’ll get the works then. I cook a mean brekky.” His lopsided grin, the way his eyes squinted up whenever he smiled. He truly could have any girl he wanted, yet here he was, quite alright with being simply fuck buddies with you. You counted yourself lucky, because you truly did enjoy those nights with him and how he made you feel.

“Y/N!?” The voice called out to you as you walked down the aisle towards the eggs. The store hadn’t been packed, and that’s the only reason you had chosen this particular store. You didn’t want to be seen with him, and you were sure he didn’t want to be seen with you by anyone that knew either of you personally.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, the voice was so familiar and how could it not be? It was your best friend's voice, and usually you’d whip around to gush about how coincidental it was that you’d run into each other here at this hour. Instead, you started walking faster, pushing the cart ahead of you and almost crashing into someone that was coming around the corner. “I think someone is calling for you.” Chan mused, and you glared up at him, your tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek as you shook your head at him.

“Yeah? No shit…” You muttered rather harshly, but quickly changed your expression as you turned around to see your friend rushing over to you. “Hey!” You put it on thick, pretending to be excited to see her, but you saw her eyes glance at Bangchan and then back at you, the corner of her lips pulling up.

“Who’s this? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!” Now she was gushing, practically eyefucking him as she continued to look him over. This was exactly why you didn’t want to be out in public with him. Not because your friend was looking at him like she wanted to jump his bones right now, for that, you could care less, he wasn’t yours to get jealous over anyway. No, it was because of the immediate assumption, the conclusions that people would jump to.

“I didn’t tell you I had a boyfriend because I don’t have a boyfriend.” You retorted, trying to keep up your playfully enthusiastic tone. “He’s just my friend. I ran out of cereal and he’s the only one who has a car, so I asked him to take me to the store.” A white lie never hurt anyone, and it wasn’t even that big of a lie in the first place. You had run out of cereal, and he did have a car that he could drive you to the store in, and you had asked him to take you. So actually, it wasn’t a lie at all.

Chan didn’t say anything, and that was a good thing. You didn’t want him slipping up and telling your friend what was really going on. Not that you thought she’d judge you for it, she had friendships like this multiple times. It’s just that, while she was open to spilling the beans of her business to you so carelessly, you were far more reserved about what was going on in your private life, especially what went on in your bedroom.

“I really have to get done my shopping though, I’ll catch up with you some other time.” You said, hoping that she’d take the very obvious hint that you were just trying to get in and out of there, and thankfully, she did. She waved a quick goodbye to you and Chan before walking away and you let out a small sigh of relief, ready to continue on with your little shopping trip, but then he started walking away too. “Hey, where are you going? You said you’d get the stuff for breakfast!” You called after him, leaving the cart in the middle of the aisle to follow him when he didn’t turn around.

“I’ll wait in the car.” He said flatly, there was no sign of him joking or teasing right now, he sounded so serious. What the fuck was his problem? “Just get your stuff and I’ll drop you back off at your apartment.” He didn’t wait for your response, walking through an empty checkout lane quickly to get to the exit and walk out of the store.

You could continue your shopping, hoping that whatever had crawled up his ass in the short span of the two minutes that your friend had stopped the both of you, would crawl right back out while he was waiting for you. You didn’t want to though, especially since you had left your purse in his car, under the assumption that he was going to pay for the groceries anyway. You had no choice but to follow him out.

What had happened though? He seemed fine earlier, nothing had even changed. “Hey!” You called out once more when you walked out of the store, seeing that he hadn’t even made it through the parking lot to his car yet. “Chan!” You called out again when he didn’t even acknowledge your calling, but he kept his back facing you. It didn’t hurt, it was just agitating. He was being a real asshole right now, and he didn’t even have the common courtesy to tell you why.

It was so embarrassing, sprinting across the parking lot to get to the car at the same time that he did. You never chased after people, it just wasn’t something that you did. If someone didn’t want to be around you, you didn’t care, if someone didn’t want to talk to you, well that was better since you didn’t actually like talking to people either. “What?” He snapped when you stood between him and the driver's door, and it took you back a little. Why the hell was he so mad at you?

“The fuck you mean ‘what’? What the hell is your problem?” You huffed out, slightly breathless from your trek across the lot. He was putting you through some extra work and that pissed you off. He scoffed, turning away from you, and your skin was crawling with agitation. Why was he like this? “If you wanna be a little bitch, fine. But don’t take it out on me, especially since I don’t know what your fucking problem is.”

His hands flew up in the air before landing on the roof of the car on either side of your head. It was crazy how, even though things were heated and definitely not in any way sexual at all, being pinned against the car by him between his very muscular arms, had you feeling all types of ways. “No… No you know what the problem is, you just don’t want to fucking face it. And if anyone is a bitch, it’s you.” Your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened, not used to him talking to you like that ever. Shit, even if you had asked for him to speak to you like that in the bedroom, he would refuse. It just wasn’t like him.

You shook your head, shoving him back, finally snapping back to the reality that was in front of you. “Maybe if you fucking told me what was the problem I’d actually know. Instead you want to act like a dick in the parking lot. Go off though, I’ll wait in the car for your little conniption fit to be over and then maybe you’ll be ready to talk to an actual fucking adult.” You snapped back, storming around the front of the car to climb in, slamming the door shut once you were seated. The ride would be awkward as hell, that you were already well aware of, but you didn’t care. You needed to get home.

He stood outside of the car for a couple more seconds, maybe even a whole minute, you weren’t exactly counting, but once he got in you could feel the anger radiating off of him. “Anything else you want to use me for?” He muttered humorlessly once he was inside, shoving his key into the ignition.

His words threw you for a loop, and while you had so much to say to him, so many questions, it wouldn’t be wise to speak those questions while he was driving. He was clearly upset, and while your mind was slowly but surely piecing together the puzzle, you wanted to hear from him what was really going on.

Thankfully you were wearing your seatbelt, because as soon as he got out front of your apartment, he slammed on the brakes, the sudden jolt sending you forward in your seat, the belt training against your chest, you were mere inches away from the dashboard. “You’re such a fucking asshole.” You seethed, quickly unhooking the belt and pushing open the door.

“You’re not gonna invite me inside? Or do you only do that when you think I’ll give you my dick?” He retorted cockily, and it was like everything turned red, the anger inside of you reaching its boiling point.

You were already out of the car, you could have just slammed the door shut and walked up to your apartment and left him out there to sort through his own shit, but something inside of you told you to keep it going, and maybe it was the excitement of what might come at the end of the argument. “That was the fucking agreement, Chan!” You shouted back to him, leaning into the car so that he could hear you, so you could see him. “And you didn’t seem to have a problem with it when it first started!”

His hands slammed down on the steering wheel as he let out a disgruntled groan, and then his head snapped in your direction. “Close the fucking door!” He shouted, and you couldn’t help but scream, backing up and slamming the door as you stepped up on the curb. It was frustrating, he was so fucking frustrating. Why did you even continue to humor him and his ridiculous antics? You wouldn’t… Not when he was acting this way. He was making you out to be some sort of fucking villain.

You didn’t bother to watch him drive off, whatever he was doing now was his own business. That’s how it always was, how it was set up to be. Whatever he did outside of your apartment was his own thing, whatever the two of you did when you weren’t together was none of each other's business. “Stupid fucking… fuck!” You sighed loudly, stomping up the stairs to your apartment. The way he was acting, it was out of line. You had never seen him like this before, and even though you knew that you shouldn’t want it, a part of you did want him to come chasing after you, to continue the argument in your apartment when it would end just the way you wanted it to.

“I wasn’t finished!” He called out, the sound of his steps racing up the stairs had your heart racing as your key hung out of the lock in your front door. “I guess that’s what you do best though. Once you’re done with me you can act like I don’t even exist anymore. I’m nothing but a friend to you.” The anger was there, it was definitely still there, but there was something else too. A pain that could be heard, his words were laced with it.

You twisted the key harshly, throwing open the door, about to storm into your apartment, but he took it upon himself to walk in ahead of you, only furthering your annoyance with him. “I already fucking told you!” You shouted once you were inside, slamming the door behind you before turning to look at him as he stood in the middle of the entryway. “This was the agreement! No commitment, no strings, nothing! That’s how it’s supposed to fucking be!”

His hand slammed against the wall, his head falling back as he stared up at the ceiling. You saw his adams apple bob, his swallowing was so loud. “I don’t… I don’t want it to be like this anymore…” He said, no more shouting, no more anger, it was nothing but the pain that had completely taken over. You were stunned, and if you had known that this is what he wanted it to turn into, you would have called it off before it had even started.

“That’s ridiculous, Christopher.” You muttered, and his face scrunched up at the sound of his name, a name that you never used with him before. It was strictly off limits, but you were using it, you were just as serious as he was now.

“Is it?” He quizzed, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “I just thought that that’s the way it would end up. I mean… I’ve been spending the night here almost every fucking night. We have movie nights, date nights… We don’t even fuck that much anymore. I just come over and you seem so happy to see me… I just thought…”

You shook your head, immediately regretting the decision that your past self had made to agree to those kinds of nights, those kinds of moments that had obviously given him the wrong impression. “I like spending time with you… But I didn’t want a boyfriend. I’m not ready for that, I don’t have the time…”

His palm came down against the wall once more, his entire body swiveling to face you. “Bullshit!” He shouted it loudly, the anger back, and it was coming at you full force this time. “You don’t have time for a boyfriend, but you’re available every fucking day and night as long as you get to fuck me, right?! That’s bull and you know it!”

Your jaw was set as you felt the tears coming on, you didn’t want them to fall because he’d assume, like he clearly does all the time, that they mean you feel bad, when they were nothing more than tears of anger from being yelled at like this. “Fine! I have a whole lot of fucking time on my hands. But what if… What if I just don’t want to date you? I don’t want to date anyone! I just wanted to have sex and hang out with you! Why is that so bad?!”

He scoffed, his hands running through his hair before letting them fall down his face. “Because your selfish wants fucking hurt people, Y/N.” He said flatly, shaking his head at you. “What if I wanted something more? What if I love you? What if waking up beside you every morning is the happiest I’ve ever been, and falling asleep next to you gives me the best sleep of my life? What if I’m in love with everything about you and I don’t want to let that go? Huh?”

You took a deep breath, it was shaky, and he was right. You were selfish, you wanted something that would clearly end up hurting him, and part of that agreement that you so carelessly had thrown in his face, was that it would end once he or you found someone. He had found someone, but sadly, that someone was you. “I’m sorry…” You mumbled, unable to even look him in the eyes now. Of course you felt guilty, you weren’t a sociopath, you had sympathy. “I just… Can’t be what you want me to be… I can’t be that for you…”

“But you already are!” He was pleading now, his words holding in them an urgency that had your heart breaking, not for you, but for him. He just wasn’t getting it. “What difference would it make if you were my girlfriend? We’d just do the same thing that we’ve been doing. Nothing would change!”

Your head shook quickly. He didn’t understand, and you didn’t expect him to. “It would make a big difference…” You sighed, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I just… I can’t… I’m sorry.”

He nodded his head slowly, his breaths shaky and his eyes glossed over. “Fine…” He muttered, walking towards your door. “Just, don’t text or call… Please. Can you at least do that for me? It’ll make it easier to get over you if I could just pretend like you don’t exist anymore.”

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cerealboxlore · 1 year

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ok so just imagine one of the younger jl members or yjl members decide to ask the older members why they decided to become a hero/their origin story and some of the members are answering, some preferring not to, giving different sorts of answers but they all chose to use their circumstances to become a hero

and then they get to marvel

of course marvel has the nature? i guess? of a hero with his whole “do good and good will follow” thing but he never really wanted to be a hero in a fair few versions (i think, don’t source me), he was chosen but didn’t do the choosing

when he was “offered” (in quotation marks because he was basically forced into it anyways, his consent was dubious at best) he basically said ‘no, i’m not the right guy for this’ but was pressured into it anyways

rather than deciding to be a hero, it was more like he decided to do good with what he had, and what he had were superpowers

so just imagine them asking marvel why he chose to be a hero and marvel saying “i didn’t”

(depending on the age you depict him as getting his powers could make some difference, my automatic age for him being chosen is like 9 for some reason)

High time I answered this amazing ask, holy cow it's been cooking in here for some time

I really love the idea of a younger JL/YJL member going around and coordinating interviews with the older superheroes and getting their origin stories and asking questions on why they decided to become who they are today. Perhaps after all the news and stories they've heard from a certain popular radio host, Whiz Kid, they wanted to be like them a little with this personal project of theirs.

Every hero they ask either gives them a simple answer of "it was what I was meant to do", or, "I want to help people", or "eh, I had free time, why not". There are some that refuse to answer (batman), but that only makes the interviews become more fun and exciting. The young hero is learning so much from their elders, and once they get to Captain Marvel, they think his answer is going to be a delightful and sunny one, as expected from a cheerful guy like him.

They expected his answer to be simple, maybe even adding some humor to it. Like, "Well, someone had to compete with superman" or "it was my biggested dream to become a hero just like my heroes".

But.

They don't get that kind of answer from him.

"Hm? Oh, I didn't."

"...Huh? I'm sorry, excuse me, but, what? What do you mean you didn't choose to become a hero? Why are you a hero now when you didn't want to be?"

"Oh gosh, I didn't expect this kind of question, but I guess...well it's because it wasn't exactly planned. There was never really any chance for me to have a choice in the matter. I didn't choose to be a hero, I just chose to do good with what I had all of sudden, you know? I never thought of becoming a hero until it actually happened, and I didn't know I WAS a hero until people starting calling me one. Ha, can you believe that? Really blew me away hearing people of my city call me their hero. Me, of all people."

"...huh. That's...really incredible, Captain Marvel. But, what do you mean, you didn't have a choice in the matter?"

"ha...well, let's just say that some things are just meant to happen, and they can't be avoided, no matter what....yeah...."

The younger superhero then sees what they swore was a split second melancholy emotion drown Captain Marvel's eyes, then just as quickly disappear when the man excuses himself to leave.

Gosh that got a little angsty there for a moment, but I really enjoy the idea of Captain Marvel initially refusing his powers and not believing himself in being worthy. He really was pressured into those powers, and he deserved to know what he was in for before being made Champion of Magic. A warning, before Billy entered a world of his heroes, and his worst nightmares.

Maybe the wizard knew that if the child knew what dangers were to come, perhaps he would have refused. Or. Maybe it was pointless to tell Billy, because the soul of a bright hero and a pure heart, radiated that much within Billy, that the wizard knew he would be a hero no matter what in the end.

#Such a lovely ask #Billy batson #justice league #young justice #dc captain marvel #Shazam #dc comics #Billy- “I didn't want to be a hero #Sorry if there's spelling errors #Late night

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mint-yooxgi · 1 year

Text

{20} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Seonghwa)

Words: 9,169

Warnings: Talks of mental illness: depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide. Insecurities. Heavy angst. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, this chapter is still pretty angsty in my opinion, but it does get fluffy near the end. It’s meant to really encapsulate both sides of the story and their emotions, so I hope that all comes through. I highly recommend listening to, or even searching up the lyrics to the songs in this chapter when they appear, as it will really put the songs I chose into perspective and provide more context/meaning to them in the moment. I really want to emphasize how the OC is really two sides of the same coin with all of them. I also really hope you enjoy it! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Main Story - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Part Twelve - Part Thirteen - Part Fourteen - Part Fifteen - Part Sixteen - Part Seventeen - Part Eighteen - Part Nineteen - Mini Masterlist

For two whole days, you see no sight, nor hear no sound of Seonghwa. Probably because you’ve opted to confine yourself to your room again, worried one of the others will bring up the topic of talking to him before you’re ready. At least the separation has given you time to think.

Sure, you’re still upset with what he said, but Jongho’s words from the other day in the library keep repeating themselves inside of your head.

He was scared.

You know first hand what fear can do to your emotional response. All logic simply can, and will, fly out of the window.

Still, that does not excuse what he said to you.

On the third day, you brave traversing outside of your room for a little while.

The encounter you have with him is brief. You walk into the foyer on the way to the library when you see him coming from the opposite hall. Of course, he froze as soon as he saw you, eyes going wide as that same look of regret and sorrow takes over his features.

You say nothing, but you meet his gaze, blinking once at him as you continue to walk past.

For the first time in weeks, he doesn’t immediately beg for your forgiveness. No, this time, he simply watches you until you disappear from his sight. Still, he cannot keep his hands from shaking.

A fact of which you notice.

The rest of the week passes by exactly like this. Whenever you see Seonghwa, you acknowledge his presence either by meeting his gaze briefly, or nodding subtly in his direction. He makes no attempt to push you to listen to him anymore, nor does he dump countless amounts of apologies onto you. It’s still tense, but at least it’s bearable for you now.

Finally, you feel as if you can breathe again.

A week after that talk in the library with Hongjoong and Jongho, you decide to call your sister. You haven’t spoken to her in a little bit, and considering everything that’s happened, you could really use a good familial connection right now. Your mother is always an option, but as soon as you let on that you’re not in the right headspace, she’ll start asking you a million and one questions, and do whatever is in her power to find you and comfort you.

Not that you would complain, you just would rather have someone to listen to you for now, instead of wanting to take direct action. Besides, you could really go for hearing your sister’s familiar and comforting voice.

“Hey boo, what’s up?” She greets you with a smile after two rings of the video call going through. “How’ve you been?”

Currently, you find yourself sitting out on your balcony, the doors open wide behind you. You rest on one of the chaises, stretching your feet out in front of you as you hold your phone in your hand, elbow propped up on one of the arm rests.

“I’ve been okay,” you smile briefly, nothing more than a tense pull of your lips upwards. “I just wanted to call and check up on things with you. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great!” She replies, eyes instantly lighting up. “Work has really been picking up, so I’m happy about that.”

Fifteen minutes later, and she’s told you all about her personal business finally gaining traction, and bringing in more clients. You can tell that she’s super excited about everything, and that excitement rubs off on you. You find yourself smiling genuinely along to everything she has to say, and replying when appropriate with your encouragement and praise. You are really proud of her and how far she’s come, considering everything that she’s been through the past few years.

“Oh, and the next time you come to visit, we have a surprise for you!” She grins.

“A surprise?” You quirk a brow. “What is it?”

“Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now, would it?” She chuckles.

“No, I suppose not,” you chuckle along with her, a soft smile adorning your features.

“Speaking of, when do you think you’ll be coming home to visit?” She asks, blinking curiously at you. “I know you’re all tied up with that new mystery lover of yours.”

At the suggestive wiggle of her brows, you can only sigh and shake your head.

“Still on about the mystery lover, huh?” You almost tut. “Will you cut it out?”

“Alright, alright, sorry,” she giggles, grinning knowingly.

“To answer your question,” you reply, somewhat pointedly with a teasingly firm look on your features, “I don’t know. Hopefully, soon.” You blink, the corner of your lips twitching upwards faintly. Almost sadly. “As soon as I can.”

With everything with Miyeon going on, and the fact that you were attacked the last time you went out, you think you just want to stick around the house for a little while. Besides, the guys all briefly filled you in on the fact that Miyeon does have allies now. Allies of which are two of the most dangerous men outside of the eight of them.

Needless to say, you have no plans on dying any time soon the next time you leave the house. Though, the first chance you get once this is all over, you’re going to visit your family. You miss them. A lot.

“Are you okay, boo?” Immediately, her brow furrows in worry. “You seem kind of down lately, and you zoned out on me there for a good little bit. Did something happen?”

A heavy sigh escapes you as you shift in your seat.

“Just-“ you blink, rubbing at the side of your face as your expression falls, shoulders drooping once more, “having a little bit of a rough time lately, that’s all.”

“Oh no,” concern is clear on her features, and you notice her lean slightly forwards in her seat. “Is it your depression again?”

“Part of it,” you nod. “Though, it’s a bit more complicated than that, I guess. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was, though. Well, you remember.”

A hint of fear flashes in her eyes. “I do.”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that,” you share a knowing look with her, a faint twitch of your lips upwards. “I promise.”

“You and I both know that as soon as those thoughts come back, you don’t let them consume you anymore. You immediately get help.” She reminds you, and you nod along with her words. “We are not who we used to be. We’re better than that.”

“Yes,” you readily agree, eyes flashing in acknowledgement. “Yes, we are.”

“Do you have any outlets you can use to work through your emotions right now?”

You tilt your head slightly side to side, humming, “yes, and no.”

“What about that one hobby of yours?” She inquires. “I’m sure the hotel, or whatever you’re staying at, has one somewhere in a lounge or something, given the extravagance of the place. Perhaps you can just ask one of the staff to let you use one after hours, or something.”

“I haven’t touched one in years, honestly,” you reply, shifting your gaze out across to what appears to be the open desert stretching out in front of you.

“It helped you before,” she says, knowingly.

“I suppose it did,” you hum, a small nod to your head.

“Speaking of, how are you still able to afford staying at that place? It looks so fancy, and you haven’t been working lately, as far as I know. Have mom and dad been helping?” She quirks a brow, that teasing spark back in her eyes as she looks at you. “You keep saying there’s no mystery lover, but-“

“Oh, for crying out loud, Crystal!” You cut her off. “Will you knock it off?”

She laughs, boisterous and content. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

Your lips tighten into a tense smile.

“Anyways, we’re going out for dinner soon, so I’m going to have to let you go to get ready,” she says. “If you ever need me, or even if you just want to talk, I’m here for you. Don’t hesitate at all.”

“I appreciate that,” your smile turns genuine once more. “Same goes for you.”

“Of course,” she returns your smile. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree wholeheartedly. “Have fun at dinner, and say ‘hi’ to everyone for me.”

“Will do!” She replies. “Bye, boo! I love you!”

“I love you, too.” With a final wave and goodbye, you’re ending the call with your sister.

Another sigh escapes your lips as you place your phone beside you on the chaise, tucking it halfway beneath your thigh as you tilt your head back momentarily. Closing your eyes, you allow your whole body to relax.

A soft mewl draws your attention to the floor beside you, noticing Kuroo jump onto the chaise you’re resting on in the next second. He craws over your lap, settling onto your thighs as he begins to purr.

“Well, hello there, Little One,” you chuckle, scratching at his chin as he curls into you. “Did you come to check on me?”

At the way he exposes his belly for you, paws in the air curled above his chest, you’re letting out another chuckle.

“Oh, how sweet you are,” you coo, petting his tummy lightly as you look down at him.

Absentmindedly, you continue to scratch at his belly softly, combing your fingers through his fur. Kuroo is more than content to lay here like this with you, quickly falling asleep as he continues to keep you company. At least it gives you time to think.

Yes, you’re still upset at what happened, but keeping up this type of anger isn’t good for your mental health. Plus, you do miss spending time with Seonghwa, talking to him and joking around. You miss that cute pout of his that will tug onto his features when you tease him, and you miss the comfort of his voice.

Perhaps you’ve been a little too harsh on him with not letting him explain himself to you. You know for a fact that you’ve regretted those words you spoke in annoyance when exiting the library last week as soon as they left your lips.

Perhaps this is exactly how he felt.

At least you’ve now had time to process things.

Still, you’ll give it another day or two before you’re ready to talk to him. You don’t think you’re quite ready, or in the correct headspace to have that kind of conversation with him yet.

The very next day, luck seems to be on your side, for they all get called to an emergency council meeting. Seems as if someone has a new lead for them about Miyeon, or something.

It’s a bit odd, seeing a raven squawking around the house, but Wooyoung quickly explains to you that they’re the fastest messengers they have that travel between the realms. Though, you can tell both he and Jongho aren’t too pleased when the raven lands on your shoulder and stands like a sentinel, watching them with narrowed eyes.

“Are they flirting with me now, too?” You quirk a brow teasingly.

“Yes, she is,” Jongho replies, clearly irritated.

Your brows raise in amusement as you turn to look at the raven on your shoulder.

“Always a pleasure to have you, Stella,” Wooyoung gets out through gritted teeth.

The raven coos, almost mockingly back at him, making you laugh.

“Well, Stella,” you chuckle, noticing how a few of the others appear in the front foyer in the next second. “It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

Once again, she coos, but much fonder this time.

“Are all animals usually this friendly with you?” Yeosang inquires, nothing but curiosity reflected in his gaze.

“Most of the time,” you reply casually. “I don’t know what it is, but ever since I was small, they’ve always had an affinity towards me.”

A caw greets your ears, followed closely by a mewl as Kuroo makes an appearance from down the hallway. Instantly, Stella is taking off of your shoulder to circle the cat before landing gracefully on his back. Not that Kuroo seems to mind at all. In fact, he looks rather smug. Cheeky bastard.

Yeosang’s eyes shine, “I see.”

You look at him expectantly.

“They’re saying that you have a kind presence to you, so they’re drawn to it.” Jongho fills you in just as the remainder of his brothers enter the room.

You hum as you nod slightly in understanding, turning your attention to watch as Kuroo trots around happily with Stella on his back. That is, until Hongjoong is clearing his throat, then she’s quick to fly over to rest on his shoulder.

“We should be back in an hour or two,” he replies, meeting your gaze.

“We’ll try to be as quick as we can.” San assures you, drawing your attention to him in the next moment.

You nod your understanding once more.

“Okay, well, be careful,” you reply, eyes scanning over each and every one of them. “All of you.”

With a small smile, you’re turning around and heading back down the hallway, Kuroo in tow.

You fail to see the way they all turn to look at the eldest, who stands visibly frozen in his spot for the moment. Yunho manages to pull him out of his thoughts by clapping him once on the shoulder in the next second, the eight of them transporting themselves (and Stella) to their throne room.

Seonghwa cannot deny the way his heart swells, but this time, with hope. You looked at him again. Actually looked at him, with something other than disgust or disdain on your features. Perhaps things really are starting to get better. Little by little, he’ll make things right, no matter how long it takes.

Meanwhile, as they handle the urgent summons, you continue to make your way down the hallway and towards the music room. You figure there’s no time like the present, considering they won’t be around for a little while. At least you can play in peace.

Flicking on the lights, you notice Kuroo immediately making his way over to the large bay windows and hopping onto the window seat, laying down and making himself comfortable. You, on the other hand, walk over to the grand piano, an instrument of which you haven’t played in about two years.

You can still hear your sister’s words echoing in your mind as you open the lid, propping it on its stand as you walk over to the keys. Your hand gently brushes over the ivory before pulling out the bench and taking a seat.

Music has always been an escape for you, whether it be playing, or listening. Last time, when your depression got really bad, you found comfort in the familiar press of the keys, letting out all of your emotions and thoughts through the songs you would play, sometimes singing along in the privacy of your own home. Perhaps this time it will help, too.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hands to begin to play.

For a full minutes, your fingers hover over the piano, eyes staring blankly over the top of the instrument as you blink. Despite the fact that you’re alone now, and you know that you’re alone, you’re still cautious of beginning. You’ve never really liked playing in front of other people as you got older, and only very specific people, like your friends and family have heard you play in more recent years. So, to say you’re a little nervous to touch the keys after so long would be an understatement.

Well, there’s no time like the present, so you might as well start with the piece you’ve been playing since you were small.

Closing your eyes briefly, you let the tips of your fingers rest on top of the ivory as you take another deep breath. A moment later, you begin to play.

The sound of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata slowly fills the air, and despite the few minor slip ups at first, either you rushing the timing or a wrong press of the keys, you begin to lose yourself to the music. One song blends into the next as you play a few classics that you’ve known since childhood, allowing the notes to surround you and offer you a comfort like they always have.

It’s one of the reasons hearing Yeosang play his violin for you meant so much, and even now, you cannot help but think back on that moment. Smiling to yourself, you look back down at the ivory keys below your hands, starting a new melody. One which you have not practiced in years.

It’s a little rough to start, considering it had been one of the newest songs you learned before being unable to play for quite some time, but once you get into the flow, you cannot help the way a giddy grin takes over your features.

Slowly, a medley of the Lord of the Rings soundtrack rings throughout the room, offering you comfort in your own way. A medley you had created yourself with all of your favourite songs from the movies. Each part flows into the next, and once you recall all of it, you find yourself sitting a little straighter in your seat, a pride swelling within your chest at the memories.

Though, nothing will ever mean as much to you, or sound quite like Yeosang performing Rohan’s melody for you on his violin. You don’t think you, or anything for that matter, could ever top that.

As soon as the medley finishes, you notice Kuroo staring at you from the window bench. His wide, golden eyes shine with nothing but curiosity and awe, causing your heart to warm in your chest.

“No tattling on me, now, okay?” You tease him lightly. “Especially not for the next few songs.”

A small coo is all you receive in response as he rests his head back onto his front paws.

“Also, if you don’t like my singing, that’s on you,” you chuckle, and you notice how his ears seem to perk up at this. “Fair warning, though: it’s been a while.”

Again, another soft coo greets your ears, almost as if he’s reassuring you. You smile.

“Let’s see,” you hum to yourself, “how did that one part go again?”

Briefly, you go over the bridge of the song, letting your memories resurface as you recall the melody. Once you do, you nod to yourself, starting at the very beginning.

The opening notes of Taemin’s Under My Skin begin to echo around the room. The familiar melody surrounds you like a warm embrace, feeling as if this song can perfectly describe your emotions at this time.

You open your mouth, and begin to sing.

With each lyric, your voice gets louder, stronger. It’s as if a piece of you that has been missing has finally returned, gaining confidence with every note that you hit. The emotions that you pour into your voice allow you to work through them, embracing every part of yourself and this situation as the meaning of the song overtakes your every sense.

With every word, with every note, you feel even better than before. Finally, you can release some of this stress, this pain holding onto your heart from over the past few weeks.

Before you know it, over an hour and a half has passed by with you getting lost in the music you create with the piano once more. It feels as if a weight has finally been lifted from your shoulders. With each passing second, you find more of yourself, grounding you once more to the person you are, the person that you have become, and the person you are always meant to be.

After another song, you pull out your phone. There’s one you have yet to learn the instrumental for that you’ve been meaning to, so you figure doing so now won’t be too bad. It’s not a difficult song by any means, so you’re sure you’ll be able to find either a basic outline for the sheet music online, or even if you listen to it enough times, you should be able to figure it out on your own. Besides, you feel as if this particular song relates quite well to your current situation, especially with Seonghwa.

That’s one thing that you’ve always been good at. If you listen to a song enough times, you’re usually able to distinguish which notes are being played, and copy the main melody enough for you to perform it.

Sure enough, not even twenty minutes later, you’ve taught yourself the song. It’s not very long, anyways, and from what you’ve leaned, it’s only really a few notes and chords. Well, here goes nothing.

Taking a deep breath, you begin to play from the very beginning.

The steady sound of a repeating, echoing note and its accompanying chords can be heard throughout the room as you lose yourself to the music once more. There’s a heaviness to your heart now as you begin to perform Bang Chan’s i hate to admit, voice sounding the slightest bit more strained as you allow your emotions to consume you.

Every thought you’ve had over the past three weeks surrounds you, coming through in the words you sing as tears begin to line your vision.

“I don’t know, I can’t give up on you,” you may not be in love with him yet, but that doesn’t mean your heart still cannot break. It’s the people that you care about that can always hurt you the most.

Your voice rings out throughout the room, and you notice Kuroo raise his head, staring at you with his wide, golden eyes.

You close your own as your first tear falls.

“I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you,” the steady press of your hands into the keys grounds you for the moment, the repetitive notes seemingly blending into one. “Just stay with me.”

The silent tears continue to fall down your cheeks, and you do whatever you can to not allow your emotions to fully control your voice for the moment. Unfortunately, it does not seem to be working, the final lines trembling as your voice drops to a near whisper.

“How could I forget?”

The next breath you take is shaky, your lips trembling as you slowly get out the final lines of the song.

“I might as well forget…”

The final notes ring out throughout the room, and you finally open your eyes. That’s when you notice, Kuroo isn’t looking at you, but at someone behind you.

The sound of someone falling to their knees echoes throughout the room. You don’t even need to turn around to know who it is.

Wiping at your tears quickly, you swallow the remaining emotions in your throat. As much as you didn’t want to be overheard playing, or singing right now, you realize that you can use this opportunity to your advantage.

Before either of you two can say anything, your back straightens, and you’re beginning another song. You don’t want to face him right now, anyways. Besides, you don’t think that you can.

The gentle trickle of notes fill the air, and you find yourself not even worrying about if you’ll remember the entire melody or not. Each press of the keys is almost second nature, despite how long you’ve gone without playing this song.

It was one of your favourites, after all, especially when you had been going through some rough times. Though, now that you think about it, the meaning has significantly changed. Again, you cannot help but marvel at how fitting this song is for your current situation as you continue to play the introductory notes of Try by Pink.

Taking a deep breath as your lips part, you begin to sing.

You don’t know how many of them are in the room with you, or if it’s just him. Given how you seem to only feel one intense stare locked onto your back, you believe it’s just the two of you. Besides, Kuroo hasn’t taken his eyes off of him since he’s entered the room.

“Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame,” you can hear the way his breath hitches behind you as you hit the first chorus. “Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned.”

He holds his breath.

“But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die,” your eyes close briefly. “You gotta get up and try, try, try.”

Your voice echoes around the room, and you notice a stillness unlike ever before settle around you as you continue on. You know you have his complete and utter attention. Especially as you sing the next line.

“Why do we fall in love so easy,” he doesn’t fail to miss the catch in your voice, “even when it’s not right?”

The second time you hit the chorus, you can feel the tears once again prickling at your eyes. They pool in the corners, and as soon as you blink, you can feel them begin to fall.

This song is for you as much as it is for him.

“Ever worry that it might be ruined,” your voice is much softer now, and it’s like you’re speaking directly to him, “and does it make you want to cry?”

You don’t even need to turn around to know that he’s just as much of a mess as you are right now. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, and you do whatever you can to fight off the lingering emotions that threaten to choke you out at any second as the final chorus echoes throughout the room.

You can do this. You can make it through this. You’re almost there. At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. Though, you’re pretty sure as soon as you turn around to see his broken expression once more, you won’t be able to control your emotions any longer.

“You gotta get up and try, try, try,” your voice is the softest it’s even been as your eyes fall shut. “Gotta get up and try, try, try.”

The final notes ring out through the room, and your hands fall into your lap. All you can do is stare at the keys in front of you as that still silence settles around the both of you. The only sounds you can hear are his muffled sobs, and your uneven breathing.

Taking a deep breath, you steady your nerves. Wiping at your tears with the back of your hand, you slowly turn around to face him while still sitting on the bench. Sure enough, you see him on his knees, about halfway between you and the open doorway.

Of all the previous times you’ve seen him cry in front of you, never has the eldest looked so broken. There is a deep sorrow held within his gaze as he stares into your eyes, fresh tears trailing down his face. His hands tremble as they hang limply at his sides, palms facing upwards in your direction in a display of utmost surrender and submission.

Painfully, Seonghwa’s heart squeezes. The worst suffocating feeling that he’s ever felt in his entire life surrounds his entire chest as he continues to stare at you, sobs wracking his entire body the longer you go without saying anything.

So badly does he want to hope, but he doesn’t think he’ll survive that loss if it turns out to be false.

You swallow your emotions for the moment as you meet his gaze.

“Give me an hour or two, and once we’ve both calmed down,” you stand from your spot, “then, we can talk.”

Seonghwa can only nod his head vigorously, worried that if he opens his mouth all that will escape him will be a choked sob. Still, he cannot deny the way his breath catches, no longer being able to stop that glimmer of hope from shining within his gaze.

Without another word, you walk passed him and out of the room.

You don’t come across any of the others on your way back to your own room, and for that, you’re grateful. You can still tell they’re around, hearing sound coming from both the home theatre, and game room as you pass by. The fact that they’re being respectful enough not to swarm you for the moment helps to warm your heart as you wipe at your lingering tears once more.

Making it back to your room, you shut the door behind you once you step inside, leaving it open only the slightest crack incase Kuroo decides to join you later. You could really go for a nice warm bath right now; you just need to calm down for a bit and relax.

An hour later, you find yourself sitting in the exact same chaise you were in the previous evening. This time, you sit crossed legged as you gaze out into the desert before you.

The stars glimmer like jewels in the sky above, and a gentle breeze caresses your heated skin. Kuroo sits on the railing of your balcony, tail swishing behind him as he looks out over the space in front of the both of you. Silently, he keeps you company, standing guard and offering you comfort in his own way.

Again, the balcony doors rest wide open behind you, but you’ve opted to keep the door to your room closed for now. You doubt he’ll use the door anyways, once you call for him. Besides, you do not wish to be disturbed.

Letting out a sigh, you close your eyes.

For the next half an hour, you calm your mind.

Occasionally, you have used meditation to help you relax, and you find yourself leaning into those few times that you have, recalling the breathing exercises that you’ve used previously that have worked before, and using them now.

Taking a deep, steady breath in, you open your eyes.

Finally, you are ready to talk to Seonghwa.

The very moment you brush up against that royal blue string within your mind, Seonghwa is beside you in a second. His hands pause halfway in buttoning up his shirt, and you notice his hair is damp. He must have just gotten out of the shower.

The soft call of your name from his lips has you meeting his gaze, even if only briefly.

“Sit,” you motion to the chair beside you. “We have a lot to discuss."

Instantly, he’s in the seat beside yours, sorrowful gaze locked onto your figure. From the corner of your eyes, you can see how bloodshot his own are, and you can just tell he’s probably been crying for a lot longer than you have been.

A moment of silence passes over the both of you as you stare forward, and out into the desert.

“Would you like to go first, or should I?” You pose the question gently, forearms resting over your knees.

You hear him take a deep, shaky breath in.

“Whatever would make you more comfortable.” Comes his soft reply.

You nod your head only once, slowly at that.

“Alright,” you blink, eyes transfixed on the way Kuroo’s tail continues to swish back and forth over the railing in front of you. “Then I would like to hear what you have to say.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and you recognize this as him collecting his thoughts.

“I-“ he begins, before stopping short, staring at his intertwined hands as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I have no greater regret than the pain my words have caused you. I promised you that I would never speak to you in such a manner again, and I broke that promise to you. I swore I would never hurt you, yet that’s all I seem to be doing.”

Taking a deep breath, he swallows the sudden dryness in his throat as he keeps his voice low.

“I find that I never know how to control myself around you: my emotions, my actions, my words.” His fingers tighten around each other. “I know it’s no excuse for how I acted. I let my fear control me that day. I let it control my anger, which subsequently controlled my words. It was misdirected, and unacceptable on my part. I took it out on you, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

Looking up, he meets your gaze, and you see fresh tears lining his eyes.

“I will spend every day of the rest of our lives making this up to you; proving to you how sincere I am is the only thing on my mind. I cannot live without you; you’ve more than proved your point.” He continues lowly. “You’re right. I could never just get over losing you. You mean too much to me.”

This time, it’s your turn to swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. You had only thought he had heard you the other day, but this just confirms it.

“Losing you is my greatest fear,” his voice catches, as if the mere thought of it is simply too much for him to bear. At the way his eyes shine with a newfound horror, you know that it is. “Seeing you bleeding out like that, with- with-“ his whole body begins to tremble as he squeezes his eyes shut, the first of his tears falling as the memory consumes him once more, “with arrows piercing your back terrified me. I thought-“ he rubs his face with his hands, taking a deep breath to attempt to calm himself as his eyes remain closed for the moment. “When I saw you hunched over like that, I thought you were dead.”

Your expression falls as you watch his whole body tremble before you.

“All I could think was that it was my fault. I couldn’t protect you. I failed you.” He chokes on his breath. “Then, you moved, and all I could think about was that you could die at any moment. The fact that you seemed to care so little for your own life drove me insane.” He takes another shaky breath in as he meets your gaze. “How could you not realize how precious you are? Not just to me, but to all of us?”

You remain quiet, allowing him to finish his own thoughts for the moment as he looks back down at his intertwined hands.

“Seeing you laying there on the table, bleeding out with that damned poison running through your veins only made it worse. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and all I could do was blame myself for ever letting you get in harms way,” he says, eyes falling shut once more. “I couldn’t help but to think that maybe, if I had just suggested doing something else, or even if I had just kept my mouth shut, you wouldn’t be greeting death like an old friend right in front of my very eyes. You would have never been in danger. You would have never gotten hurt.”

“And then to hear you say that,” his whole body tenses. “To hear you brushing everything off as if you were fine, and that you weren’t minutes away from death had me terrified. How could you be so calm? Why would you use your energy to reassure us when you could collapse at any moment? Were you not worried for yourself?”

“So, I got angry. Angry at the lack of care you seemed to have for yourself. Angry at the way you seemed to not want us to worry about you, despite everything going on. Angry that you would seemingly be okay with throwing away your own life, and not recognizing how important you are to us. To me.” He blinks, shifting his gaze to meet your own once more. “I wasn’t angry that you protected a child. I was angry at the fact that you got hurt protecting a child when I was supposed to be the one protecting you.”

“I never meant a word I said to you, and I have regretted them ever since,” he stares deeply into your eyes, tears falling from his own. “I had no right to speak to you how I did. I had no right to allow my fear to control my anger like that, and take it out on you. You are not stupid, and you most certainly are not a burden. You never were, and you never will be.”

You swallow thickly.

“I hate knowing that I ever made you feel that way,” his voice trembles, and suddenly, he can no longer meet your gaze. “I made those voices return. I did that to you.” His whole body begins to shake as more tears escape his eyes as he squeezes them shut once more, hands coming up to tangle in his hair. “I’m sorry.” He chokes on a sob. “I’m so, unbelievably sorry.”

“From the bottom of my heart, and with everything that I am,” meeting your gaze right now is the hardest thing he’s ever done in his entire life as a shame unlike any other washes over him, “I sincerely apologize for everything that I have done that has hurt you.”

“There is no greater regret in my entire life knowing that I’ve ruined everything, and I will spend however long it takes making it up to you. I will never stop wanting to make things right. I am so, deeply in love with you, that I cannot survive without you.”

You stretch out your legs in front of you, turning your body to sit on the edge of the chaise as you face him fully.

“So, please-“ he falls to his knees, scared that you’re about to up and leave him again for the time being as he reaches across to you, hands clinging desperately onto your sides as he collapses on top of your thighs. “Please, do whatever you want with me. Hate me. Yell at me. Hit me until you are satisfied. Just whatever you do, please don’t go back to ignoring me.” More tears spill down his cheeks as he inhales a shaky breath, voice muffled as he presses his face further into you. “I don’t know if I can survive that.”

A moment of silence settles over the both of you as he sobs into your stomach, arms coming to wrap around your torso as he clings onto you for dear life. You say nothing, opting to take a deep breath in to steady your nerves.

Only, Seonghwa perceives it as a disappointed sigh, sobbing harder into you as he tightens his grip around your waist.

“Please,” he begs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, My Divine, please-“

Like a broken record, Seonghwa keeps repeating those few words to you, pleading desperately for you not to go. To not leave him, or go back to ignoring him. He wants you to know how sincere he is in both his words and actions, knowing that he would even cut his own beating heart out of his chest as long as it meant your happiness.

“Seonghwa,” the way you breathe his name sets a whole new round of sobs wracking his chest. The moment he feels your hand come up to begin threading your fingers through his hair, his whole body begins to shake. “You didn’t ruin everything. You did not ruin anything.”

His whole chest shakes with the weight of his sobs, and you can feel him pressing his fingers harder into the skin of your back. Almost as if he’s grounding himself to you in this moment, like you may slip through his grasp. As if to prove to himself that this is real.

“I appreciate your honesty,” you say, continuing to softly thread your fingers through his hair in comfort. “Now, are you ready for mine?”

Again, he nods vigorously against your stomach, eyes squeezing shut as he prepares himself for the worst.

You take a deep breath in.

“First of all, I would like to apologize to you-“

“My Divine, you have no reason to apologize to me-“

“I have just as much reason to apologize to you when I purposely hurt you in the same ways that I got upset at you for hurting me.” You reply.

He remains quiet.

“I was frustrated, and upset,” you continue, staring straight ahead as you feel him shift his gaze to stare up at you for the moment.

“You had every right to be.”

“That doesn’t make what I said okay, Hwa,”

He cannot help the way his heart stutters a beat in his chest. You called him Hwa again.

“I didn’t mean it. I want you to know that,” your fingers still in his hair. “I was being my typical, extremely hypocritical self, and I knew it. Yet, I still said it to hurt you.”

You take a moment to pause.

“I-“ you exhale a long breath through your nose. “It’s the people that we care about the most that can shatter us the quickest.”

His breath hitches.

“The reason, Seonghwa, that I broke down the way I did after what you said to me is because I care.” You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat as you feel him go completely still in your grip. “I care about you. All of you, and every logical part of me tells me that I shouldn’t, given the circumstances, but I still do. I have never had someone treat me, let alone desire me as you all do, and if I’m being honest with myself, it fucking terrifies me.”

Finally, you spare a glance down into his eyes, and you notice his wide gaze staring completely captivated by you for the moment.

“It terrifies me because, selfishly, I do not want to lose any of it.” Your voice drops to a mere whisper, as if ashamed of what you’re admitting to him at this very moment. “I have gone through most of my life with those voices in my head telling me that I am not good enough. I have never believed anyone could ever want me, let alone love me as unconditionally as you all do. I have always believed that I’ve had to earn people’s affection, lest they see me as a burden.”

Fresh tears spring to your eyes as you attempt to keep your voice from shaking.

“I-“ your voice catches in your throat. “I have always felt alone because I never wanted to burden others with my problems, or my presence. It’s gotten better over the past few years, but-“ you swallow, averting your gaze to the side to see Kuroo already staring as intently at you as Seonghwa is. You close your eyes. “That is not the first time I have almost greeted death like an old friend.”

Seonghwa’s reaction is immediate, that same fear flashing in his eyes as he’s instantly sitting on the chaise beside you and pulling you into his arms. Your head rests on his chest as his one hand comes to support the back of your head, cradling you to him gently.

A tear lands on your cheek that is not your own as your hand clings desperately to the material of his shirt.

“After my sister lost her child, I can’t count the amount of times I found her close to her own death,” you whisper, afraid that if the words are any louder, your voice may crack. “I blamed myself each and every time. How could I not notice the signs? I wasn’t there for her enough when she needed me. Not to mention how those voices just made everything worse. I was useless, stupid, and my family was already stretched thin enough with my sister that I couldn’t burden them with my own problems. Mine seemed trivial in comparison, anyways. If I didn’t even care about myself, why should they?”

You can feel his grip tighten around you, pulling you closer into his chest.

“My own death does not scare me, but seeing that same fear I know has always been reflected on my own face paint itself over my sister’s features when she found me terrified me unlike anything before.” The first of your tears begin to fall. “To this day, I am the biggest hypocrite I know. I made her promise me that she would continue living, to continue fighting, and I couldn’t even keep that same promise to her.”

“That’s when we both swore to each other that we would get through this together, and we did.” Your eyes fall shut. “To this day, she was the only one that knew, and I cannot help but still think about if she didn’t find me that day, or if I didn’t find her all those times first. So, of course I’m going to prioritize someone else’s life over mine, especially if that someone is a child. I know the effects first hand of what losing one could mean. Besides, my life will never be as important as someone else’s.”

Seonghwa goes so still that you swear he’s stopped breathing.

“Do you-“ he swallows his emotions, throat going dry, “do you really believe that?” His chest tightens, heart squeezing painfully as another tear falls from his eye. “Do you really believe that your life is worth less than someone else’s?”

Your lips part briefly with a response before you promptly shut them. Your silence speaks volumes.

Then, you’re uttering the words that break Seonghwa’s heart anew this evening, voice barely above a whisper, “It always has been.”

“My Divine,” he chokes on a sob, “you must know that that’s not true. Not even in the slightest.”

You remain silent.

“Please,” he practically whimpers, “you have to realize that your life is just as important as, if not more important than anyone else’s.”

“I understand that I should realize that, and I do at times,” you reply softly. “It’s just when it comes down to it, I cannot help but prioritize others over me. If I can save others from pain, I would rather take it all than see someone I care about get hurt.”

“But what about how we feel when we see you in pain?” His whole body shakes, grip tightening once more around your body. “Do you not realize how that hurts us?”

“I realize that now,” you respond earnestly. “Believe me, I do.”

“Then why-“

“I have gone my whole life following this mentality, Seonghwa. You cannot expect me to change a fundamental part of who I am just like that,” you sigh. “My insecurities are every bit a part of me as my confidence, just as my depression is every bit a part of me as my happiness. Some days are better than others, and I can reason with myself. Other times, the voices win. I can manage them a lot better now, but my biggest insecurity, my biggest fear is always at the back of my mind. It’s why I cannot go back there again.”

You can tell he wants to ask. So badly does he want to know, to be able to comfort you and reassure you in every and any way he can. Only, you’re speaking before he gets a chance to.

“Listen, Seonghwa,” you let out another sigh, “I know you want to know, and I’m always a strong believer in reciprocating vulnerability when it is shown to me. However, this is a part of me that I am not ready to share with any of you yet. It’s not an easy subject for me to talk about with anybody, and I don’t readily do so often. I need you to understand though, that it’s not because I do not trust you. I do trust you, Seonghwa. I trust all of you. I trust you all with my life. I am simply not ready to share such a part of me with any of you yet.”

“I want you to know, though, that there is a reason I always reply with ‘I believe you’ to you all.” You tell him. “As much as that phrase if for you, it’s also for me as well.”

“I understand, My Divine.” You feel him nod against your head. “I understand.”

“Thank you,” you breathe, feeling a small weight lifting off of your shoulders. Then, after a moment, you add, “for everything.”

He blinks, squeezing you tighter to his chest as he places his lips onto the top of your head. Allowing his eyes to flutter shut, Seonghwa inhales deeply, breathing in your scent and revelling in this moment here with you.

“Of course, My Divine,” he mumbles against the top of your head. “I love you, and I will always care for you. Even if I don’t always know how to properly express it sometimes.”

You chuckle at that, lips twitching upwards in the corners. “I believe you.”

You can feel him smile against you, whole body nearly relaxing until you feel him stiffen beneath your hold.

“I, uh,” he stammers, shifting slightly as his grip loosens around your body, “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Did what?” You quirk a brow, tilting your head up to look at him as you wipe at your dried tears with the back of your hand.

“This,” he replies, eyes flicking down to your form wrapped in his embrace as he chews on his bottom lip.

You chuckle, “Hwa, if I didn’t want to be held, or even touched by you, I would have told you to get off of me a long time ago.”

“Oh,” his lips part slightly in mild surprise, a bashful smile stretching across his features. “This is okay, then?”

Really, it warms your heart more than you care to admit that he’s taking the time to consider your comfortability right now after everything.

“Of course,” you nod slightly. “Though, can we lay down, my back is getting kind of stiff-“

Instantly, you’re laying down in the chaise, his arms wrapped securely around your body as he holds you to his chest.

The giggle that you release is music to his ears.

“Someone’s eager,” you tease, curling yourself further into him to make yourself more comfortable.

“I will not lie to you, My Divine,” his voice is a bit breathless as he replies to you, ‘I have been fantasizing about holding you in my arms for quite a long time.”

“Well, if it wasn’t obvious before,” you smile faintly, hearing the way his heart begins to race within his chest, “you may stay. At least, for a little while.”

“I promise you I won’t fuck things up this time,” he responds earnestly.

“You better not,” you tease him, poking at his chest quite firmly with your finger and noticing once more how not all of his buttons have been done up. “Next time, I definitely won’t be as forgiving.”

His breath hitches in his throat, eyes shining as he looks down at you in his arms, noticing how you’re already staring up at him with a knowing look.

“You mean…?”

“Yes, Mars,” you hum, and you feel his whole body go still beneath you. “I forgive you.”

“I-“ he blinks, swallowing the sudden dryness in his throat. “Are you sure?”

“Do you not want me to forgive you?” Your brow quirks as you continue to stare up at him.

“Of course I do, I just-“

“Do you think I would perform for just anyone, Mars?” You tilt your head slightly as you smile up at him softly. “It will have to be an effort on both of our parts, but I am willing to try if you are.”

Once more, his lips are back on the top of your head, gracing the skin of your forehead as he presses you as close to his body as he can. A soft rumble shakes his chest, and you already know his answer without him saying it.

“Thank you,” his voice is raw, strained from the intense emotions he’s feeling in this very moment. Gratitude, happiness, but more than all of that, love floods his veins as he holds you to him. “My Divine, thank you.”

Slowly, your one hand slides beneath the opening of his shirt to rest directly over his heart, feeling the way it thunders beneath your touch as a pleasant shiver caress his spine. You meet his gaze, fresh tears shining in his eyes as you smile up at him softly.

“I swear to you I will not let you down,” nothing but sincerity is reflected in his fond gaze as he stares deeply into your eyes.

“I believe you,” you hum, settling back against him with your head on his chest.

A small silence surrounds the both of you, and you notice Kuroo looking back out at the desert once more. His tail swishes languidly as he sits, perched on the railing of your balcony as you are more than content to rest in Seonghwa’s arms for the moment. You even go so far as to gently rub your thumb against the skin of his chest, loving the way you can feel his heart still racing beneath the palm of your hand.

A pleasant shiver runs up his spine.

“My Divine, you must know how such a simple touch from you tests my every last bit of control,” his voice rumbles out, the subtle hints of a growl to his tone.

You giggle. “Then, I guess we’re even.”

You can tell your words catch him by surprise at the way he says nothing in response.

“You’re the one who showed up tonight looking like this,” you emphasize your words by trailing your hand a little further along his chest, causing his shirt to fall open the slightest bit more. “Not to mention you smell incredible.”

Taking another deep breath, your eyes flutter shut, practically moaning as the scent of mahogany teakwood invades your every sense.

“Nothing is more attractive to me than someone who both looks and smells nice,” you sigh wistfully, a smile tugging onto your lips.

Seonghwa cannot deny the way his whole body heats at your words, a low growl building in his chest as your praise washes over him. Finally, he’s done something right.

Now, if only he could cover you in him. Oh, how he longs for the day where he can absolutely drench you in his scent, and him in you.

“I always live to please you,” his voice rumbles out, low and sultry as his eyes hood over.

You do not fail to catch the double meaning of his words.

“All in due time, Seonghwa,” you chuckle, a grin to your lips as you settle against him. Your eyelids flutter shut. “All in due time.”

591 notes · View notes

writingmeraki · 1 year

Text

fools of love II

READ PART ONE HERE !!

summary : being jealous of the stars in your eyes whenever you smiled because he knew they were caused by anyone but him or so he thought.

genre : fluff, angst, humour (it gets a bit angsty here folks)

pairing : cho guesung x gn!reader, idiots to lovers.

warnings : kissing, attempts at humor, misunderstandings, slight hurt, jealousy, cussing, the reader is hurt kinda, not entirely proofread.

author's note : IT'S OUT finally, this took me longer than i initially thought and my sincere apologies for that, i hope this makes up for the wait ??? i won't lie i wish i could write this into a series but i hope you like this either way :D let me know what you think of this haha love you and thank you for the support you have given this !! here's to part 2 :))

word count : 5k (total is around 8.6k with part one)

previously

"Sheesh it's not like you actually will look like a fool anyways at least never to hyung so I don't know why you stress out so much."

He muttered as he caressed his ear and narrowed his eyes at you while cussing you in his mind geez this woman knows how to hurt

You raised an eyebrow, almost in amazement yet disbelief as you scoffed

"He doesn't particularly like me Kangin, did you forget?" Your voice softened at the end with a sad tone lacing it.

Kangin let out a sigh of exhaustion not just because of him being tired due to running around and practicing but also because frankly he was also tired of this.

He was tired to see you beat yourself up because you felt as though you'd were the one doing something wrong

Maybe it's because I smile too much?? Maybe I look inappropriate ?? Or he just-maybe he just doesn't like my presence??

These were some of the questions you'd always ask him to which Kangin would equally be baffled as to how you think someone could dislike you or your presence and he'd always fill in words of reassurance and make sure you knew you were not the one at fault, ever.

No Y/N it'-it's not you okay? It's not you who is fault here i promise, maybe he's just in a bad mood but don't you dare blame yourself for him not treating you right okay?

He'd told those words previously when he you first asked him those questions but honestly he was fed up of this and could tell this had to be changed.

Turning his head towards where Guesung stood, he narrowed his eyes and scanned his expression.

Guesung stood talking to Heungmin, they both looked like they were in a serious conversation judging from their serious faces so he thought it wasn't right to approach his hyung at that moment.

You stood there eyes shifting following Kangin's gaze and saw he seemed to be in his mind at the moment as he narrowed his eyes at...Guesung?

You raised an eyebrow out of curiosity now trying to wander what kind of thoughts could he possibly having right now that seemed to make him more and more frustrated.

Just as you were about to speak up, he suddenly jerked his entire body in your direction and stood directly in front of you now, staring you right in your eyes.

You got taken aback a bit as you stared at his mocha brown eyes that swirled with many emotions, though you couldn't quite put a figure in either as they all seemed to be a mix of annoyance, judging from his slightly crunched eyebrows, but his lip forming a small pout as though he was desperate to let out whatever he had just been thinking off.

You almost wanted to giggle because it just looked like he was a cute little puppy who got hurt but you suppressed it and stared at him in anticipation to go on.

"Y/N." He called in a deeper voice then usual, a professional tone you suppose to make what he was about to say sound absolutely serious.

"Mhm?" Letting out a hum of approval for him to go on

"You know i always want what's best for you right? I have always wanted what's best for you and i always will." He told you now putting his hands on your shoulders as if to hold you in place.

" Yes, yes i do know but wh-why are you suddenly saying this?"

You told now getting slightly nervous as to how serious he looked, his eyes now being replaced from the warmer tones to a more darker yet slightly intimidating gaze.

"That's why I think, that's why I think you should either be fucking brave and confess or else you let it go. Because clearly holding onto this is not only hurting you but it is literally draining you."

He firmly told as you slowly took in his words, your brain picking up quickly as to what he had been implying, your heart beat thudding against your chest as your imagination started to run wild from the scenarios it created.

After a pause,hearing no reply from you, he decided it was appropriate to continue

"It's not like you know how he feels do you? Yes his behaviour is not rightful towards you but even that you should let him know, let him know that it hurts you, that he doesn't have the right to treat you that way despite you doing nothing wrong in the first place."

You gulped at his words as he continued on

"Y/N, my love, you deserve the best a person can offer. You deserve someone who's willing to treat you right and make sure your feelings are not hurt. You deserve someone who for one is honest about their feelings, who's willing to go out of their way to keep you in their lives."

Taking a pause to catch his breath,

"Even if it means Guesung hyung is not that person."

"You need to realise what you rightfully deserve. That choice is always yours, not mine, not the world and certainly not Guesung hyung's."

He finished off placing his hand over his heart as if he felt a weight lift off his chest when he said that and truthfully it did in a way, he always wanted to say this, even so knowing how the other truly feels, he knew you still deserved an honest person.

You in the other hand stood there, silent. Taking in every single syllable and word that was told you, carefully dissecting the meaning in your mind and alas,

Alas you finally realised it.

He was right, Lee Kangin was fucking right.

Kangin stared at you, thinking he'd done something wrong and contemplating if he could take back his words even though he meant them wholeheartedly.

"You're right." Kangin snapped his gaze towards you that had previously turned away after finishing his speech due to his nervousness, he looked at you and blinked a few times as though his eyes had heard them wrong.

He shook his head slightly realising he probably looked dumb but you paid no mind and continued,

"You're absolutely right Kangin."

Thinking back you realised just how dumb you acted because of...because of well Guesung. Honestly it was ridiculous how you'd let his behaviour towards you just slide because you believed you were the one in the wrong.

The saying "Love makes fools of us all, big and little." was something you were not really one to believe in. Because really who would let a bunch of emotions control your entire mind and captivate your heart to the point of sleepless nights and even more restless days.

You weren't one to believe in it until you became said fool.

You didn't believe it until you were actually one of those who made the saying apply quite literally.

Because after all, you had been a fool. A fool who let your emotions take over and started viewing the world through rosy red-tinted glasses.

And Kangin, your one and only saviour, had just removed those, threw them from your face and made you face the actual colours of reality.

So with a determined mindset and gathering up every sort of confidence you had in you, you looked back at Kangin, and said with a firm voice

"I'll confront him. I'll ask him why he treats me the way he does, why can't he just treat me, how he treats others. With at the least an ounce of respect."

You stopped to catch a breath.

"A-and I'll also let him know how much he has hurt me. How it does not only affect me but it tires me at times, how it feels to be treated like that by someone...someone who means...who means way more than I wish he did in my life."

Finally letting out an exhale and putting your hand over your heart as though it was just mentally tiring to think of all that, you finished

"I'll confront him after your practice, i wouldn't want something I said to affect his practice."

You nodded more to yourself rather than Kangin who still seemed to be in shock as to how you were able to accept the reality and come to those rightful conclusions.

Rolling your eyes at his confused and dazed look, you continued "What? You think I am dumb enough to not notice that this wasn't the right way to behave. Look I may have not confronted him about it before but I did know okay? I did know it wasn't right to treat anyone this way."

"I guess not confronting is the same as basically allowing him to continue treating me that way, but, not anymore."

You wished though, you wish you'd have confronted him about this previously but hey, better late than never right?

Kangin narrowed his eyes in suspicion and asked the on true question that stood on top of the mountain of endless questions he always had in his mind

"And what about...what about your real feelings? What about despite the way he treats you, you still choose to lo-"

Coughing loudly he stopped and continued "

like him? You still choose to put your heart in his hands unknowingly?"

Scrunching your eyebrows in a bit of cringe yet humour at his final sentence, you chuckled a bit and Kangin knew it worked to release some of the tense atmosphere the air seemed to have carried since you two began talking.

"Well, honestly I think I'll tell him. I think it's better to let everything off my chest, and worse come worse, he doesn't feel a single ounce of the same way I do and best case scenario is," You trailed off with a little smirk and a certain spark in your eyes as you imagined all your endless scenarios with Guesung being the main actor actually coming true.

Kangin snorted, walking more close to you and put his arm around your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him and brought his hand up to ruffle your hair "Okay you wild child, get off that imagination train before its next destination is false hope."

Grinning up at him "Oh but don't you know? The passenger on it is a hopelessly hopeful romantic." You finished with a wink as you both giggled suddenly feeling a lot better.

Trust Kangin to always make you feel lighter whenever you felt like everything was a burden.

At the end of the day, at least I know you'll always be there. Just like I will always be there for you Lee Kangin.

You may have been confident to say all those things about confrontation and confessing but gosh, it was easier said than done.

Way easier to boost yourself up to do the task but when it came to do the actual task you felt like making a run for it and never looking back.

That day you felt like your thoughts were really weighing you down and sure it was for a good reason yet you felt drained from truthfully everything. Instead of talking to Guesung that same day, you decided to have a talk when you were not feeling as though the weight of the world was on your shoulders.

You’d wish someone had told you about how draining feelings could make you feel but then again the rush of those same exact feelings made it almost all worth it.

You chose to just ignore him for the remainder of the day and when you bid the players and Kangin goodbye, you made sure to specifically not tell your farewell to one particular player.

And oh he noticed, he noticed how when you gently smiled at the others while bidding them goodbye, he noticed that very adorable smile drop once your eyes found his and your lips turn into a thin line whilst giving a very curt nod before turning away.

That made him confused, very confused. He was always used to you being all cheery at times around him even though he knew he didn’t treat you fairly well but he always justified why he should distance himself from you.

Because he knew it was wrong to gain feelings for the partner of his teammate.

Yes, that’s right. Guesung thought Kangin and you were actually dating. I mean he did not see any other reason as to why you’d sometimes go out of your way to make sure Kangin had been eating well by sometimes bringing over food even though they did have a diet to follow but you always just dismissed it and still happily brought him food, you’d even bring for the others as well.

He always thought you liked to be close to each other because he assumed you were dating him, the long hugs and the small little forehead kisses.

But fuck, it didn’t mean he particularly liked it.

And with these conclusions, he felt it was right to distance himself from you before he would fall harder and harder but he couldn’t help it. Feelings were fatal and surely his were no exception.

With that he found himself completely and utterly head over heels in love with you before he could even stop himself.

It began to hurt now, because from that particular day, you were making sure you kept your distance from him. He noticed this and it hurt more than he’d ever like to admit. You began showing up only a few times over the course of the week than you’d usually do.

Only coming to greet Kangin and not even spare a glance at him, not even look in his direction. You would only greet the rest of the team with encouraging words like you usually would but not even a single word towards him.

He would wait for you to spare him a glance now, wanting to hear you tell him how great his skills were or how amazing his gameplay had been during a particular practice with that ever-so-fond smile of yours which he thought was something you gave to everyone but only well basically everyone knew you reserved that smile for him and him only.

Too bad he was a fool for not seeing that.

At the end he found himself running out of excuses as to why you’d be avoiding him and though he did partially believe his behaviour was at fault here which left a bitter taste on his tongue and heart, he wished he would know the actual why.

So he found himself going to the one person who knew you better than anyone else for a plausible explaination which wouldn’t make him feel more of an asshole than how he felt, it was none other than Lee Kangin.

Kangin had been discerning his hyung’s actions from the past few days and noticed how upset he’d always looked. Well he knew Guesung was serious during practice times but he’d always be laid back after that and would even joke around a lot. They did after all get along quite well so when he saw how more frustrated he seemed to get day by day, he had initially been worried but on one day when he noticed him sporting a deep frown staring intently at something, he not only realised got the answer to his previous question as to what was stressing Guesung out but he also acquired that it was not something rather it was someone when he followed his line of sight which ultimately lead up to…you.

It was almost as if all the dots connected and Kangin couldn’t help but shake his head and narrow his own eyes at Guesung.

So he is affected by Y/N huh? Interesting.

And so when Guesung did eventually come up to him, he wasn’t exactly shocked when he found out why his hyung had come up to him.

Guesung nervously walked up to Kangin, his usual natural confidence and calmness being replaced with skeptical nerves that ran all the way from his heart to all the veins and nerves throughout his body. He gulped when he finally called out to the younger boy and even his voice seemed to have shown how nervous he was because in a rather hushed yet sheepish tone, he proceeded to ask

“Uh…Kangin? You got a minute to spare, I-uh I have something I want to ask you?” And immediately after he said that he wished the earth could swallow him whole.

Fucking hell, why am I acting like a high schooler with a crush ?!?

Kangin turned to Guesung from putting aside his belongings since it was the end of the day and raised his eyebrow as he urged on for him to continue,

“Yes, hyung, sure what is it?” Pulling his lips into a thin line to prevent his smirk from showing.

Exhaling forcefully while clearing his throat he finally let the weighing question which had been both heavy on his tongue and mind out “Why is Y/N avoiding me? I mean I thought I’d ask you because you know, you’re their boyfriend and like you’d know the rea-”

“Wait, WHAT????”

Kangin interrupted the little unknowing ramble as he heard something that was very VERY absurd to him, thinking maybe he heard wrong.

“Boyfriend?? That too Y/N’S BOYFRIEND?!?” Kangin looked even more in shock as he saw the confused look wash over Guesung’s face, he held up a hand to his heart and said in a loud and serious voice “Hyung, first of all, God no, heck to the fucking no, Y/N and me are not fucking dating, we are literally just friends, we share platonic love, PLATONIC.”

“Secondly, are you seriously asking why Y/N’s avoiding you? No actually you tell me, what if the person you literally like would treat you like shit even though you treat them nicely for absolutely no fucking reason huh?”

Kangin’s voice grew more annoyed as he finished his little rant but he slapped his hand over his mouth as he realized a little detail he may or may not have accidentally spilled.

“L-like?” Guesung questioned even though Kangin may have not spoken much, all the words seemed to have cut through every single thought process he had been having to make his mind a mess of a mush of feelings and even more questions.

“Not dating? WHAT? What about the way you guys like, you guys like to be touchy with each other and stuff?”

Guesung questioned again loudly and now an amused expression grazed itself upon Kangin as he nodded

“So best friends can’t hug each other or kiss each other on the cheeks? Literally, Y/N takes me as one of their older brothers, even going as far as to call me their ‘twin brother from another’.”

Guesung groaned as he realised how childish and unbelievably stupid he felt at the very moment, he had to sit down on a bench and hold his head in his hands as he felt his brain feel heavier and heavier as though it was gaining physical weight from the newly acquired information.

“Also hyung before you go on another stupid assumption of yours, if you noticed closely, you’d know Y/N’s basically a very physically affectionate person in general to everyone, hugging is basically like a handshake or a normal greeting for them, even Seungho hyung and Y/N have this weird bet of giving each other piggy back rides when one loses a round of ‘who is a better goal keeper?’ to which Y/N on purpose loses just so they can get free piggy back rides.”

Kangin chuckled as he remembered how you basically played with your cunning words to make you somehow be able to always win that bet against Seungho and the poor lad eventually fell for it.

Guesung just stared at Kangin, blinking twice as his mouth fell ajar when he realised the most important part of his previously forgotten question was yet to be answered “What did you mean by like? As in-?��

“Well why don’t you find out yourself, I already said more than what was needed and I surely don’t need Y/N physically throwing me off a cliff for accidentally saying what their true fee-”

Before Kangin could say more, he bit on his tongue, quite literally to force himself to shut up “UH-yeah AS I said just, just go sort this out yourselves, you oblivious idiots, I’m done with this. And I swear to God if Y/N comes to me crying or anything and there is even a small fault of yours this time, I’ll forget who you are.” He finished almost threateningly which made Guesung gulp a little from his very serious tone.

And then as if someone flipped a switch, he smiled sweetly as he rose up from his previous position of besides Guesung and walked away before turning around slowly relaying some information “AND YEAH Y/N’S PROBABLY HOME RIGHT NOW SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO HURRY BEFORE THEY HEAD TO THE LIBRARY, THEIR ADDRESS IS XXX XXX XXX.”

He basically shouted at Guesung before turning around knowing his job was done and smiled to himself,

Y/N better thank me for this.

<< A few minutes later >>

The doorbell rang as you groaned realising, you’d actually have to get up from your comfortable position of sulking on the couch as you watched a romcom which did nothing but make you want more and more of what the lead couples had which in turn made you frown more as you thought about your actual reality.

It’s probably Kangin or whatever,

You thought but oh you were so wrong, so fucking wrong.

Because the last person you expected to be standing in all his might glory, on the step of your lovely home at almost 8 pm was Cho fucking Guesung.

Your brain basically stopped its communication as it tried to process whether this was reality or just another conjured up daydream of Guesung you often had as much as you hated to admit it.

“G-Guesung?” You asked softly as he stood there, him also being in a similar state as he took in your shorter yet perfect for him, figure in front of him in a large hoodie that almost reached your knees and your glasses which just made you look even more fucking cute. Oh, how he wished it was his hoodie you were standing in but he felt it in his gut if he did play the right cards and words, his wishes would soon come true. (and he is right)

Fuck, Dear God,help me here please.

He prayed to the heavens above for some encouragement before he spoke

“I am sorry.”

Before you could even greet him hello, he literally left you speechless with those three words, pulling your lips into a thin line as you rose an eyebrow in curiosity because it seemed like he still had a lot to say.

“I am really sorry for, for everything. I am sorry for treating you like shit, sorry for making you feel like you were the one in the wrong and fuck- fuck I am really sorry for making you upset over me. Nothing can justify how I behaved with you, I just wished I wasn’t such a coward and assumed things that were never true in the first place…I just I am sorry okay?”

He put his hand on his chest as he exhaled feeling a lot of the weight on his chest leave as he continued and put his other hand on your mouth before you could speak again “No wait please just let me finish.”

Here it goes.

“I was a jealous idiot okay? I was a jealous idiot who jumped to conclusions and why I was jealous, it’s because I fucking like you. I have liked you since the day Kangin introduced you to us, at first I thought it was just because you were a beautiful person but the more you spent time with everyone, the more I kept falling when I realised you were not only beautiful on the outside but a fucking awesome human too? The way you always made sure to ask me about how I was doing and always just supporting us, like seriously who would go out of their way everyday to just be there for someone nowadays, then I realised I was jealous because I wanted that, I wanted you to do those things for me and me only. Y/N there you go okay, I fucking like you and if you don’t feel the sa-”

Before he could finish, you gently yet firmly removed his hand from your mouth and grabbed his jersey, which he had not yet changed, before bunching it up and pulling him closer to you, he stumbles a bit before you pull him down and crash your lips against him.

It felt as though the world faded around him the moment his lips touched yours as he shut his eyes, his hands gently moving to your waist, securely resting themselves on your hip bone, as your own entangled themselves around his neck.

Gentle yet soft was how the kiss felt like, only testing whether their lips suited each other as they moved against each other in a slow rhythm.

And when it felt like it was the perfect melody, it grew more and more passionate, hungrier and all of your unsaid emotions being poured into it, communicated through the rougher movement of lips against each other. Tingles traveled up your spine as his large hands pressed into your hips, squeezing gently. You moved one hand up to his hair, softly caressing it as he pulled you impossibly closer to him, slightly groaning as you pressed against his warm body and your hand working its magic in his hair.

He moved his hand up to your cheek as you gently pulled away, hands now looped around his neck, his eyes fluttering open gently as you both breathed heavily almost in sync, he stared down as you who still had your eyes shut but you looked up at him hazily opening your eyes as a small smile formed on your face “Well I hope that told you how I felt.”

You spoke so gently as if it was just meant for only him to hear and it was really.

“Wa-wait really?”

You let out a small giggle and decided to hopefully make him believe you even more with what you did next.

Pecking his lips you said “I” Another peck “Like” And a second one “You” And a third “Cho Guesung” You finished with one last peck which was almost a full-on kiss before you pulled apart and grinned widely at him with your now, even more, redder cheeks and shining eyes.

He brought up his other hand to your face and ran his thumbs over your warm flushed cheeks as he looked you in your eyes and finally, finally for once, he was not jealous of the stars in your eyes.

Because this time he knew they were there because of him and only him.

BONUS CUT (because honestly that last line as much as a banger of it is as an ending line there’s still some stuff left that needs to be covered)

“But you still have a lot of making up to do.” You mumbled to him gently c as you both decided it was better to move this much-needed conversation to a more private space which was your living room without an audience you noticed one of your grumpy neighbors had been staring at uh…the both of you. making out rather passionately.

Now you both were comfortably sat, you in his embrace as you sat half on his lap with one leg of his as he had one arm over you securely resting on your waist with your head on his chest, simply hearing his heart beat as it gave you comfort. Your hands held his free one as you drew circles on the back of it, each touch sending a shiver down his spine as he squeezed your waist gently running his own thumb on your slightly exposed skin making you reciprocate the same way.

He chuckled sheepishly as he sceptically continued “I know, I know I do and I swear I’m really sorry, I promise I’ll earn back your forgiveness for the rest of my life if I have to. Actually wait, let’s start from now, w-what can I do right now which could earn a bit of it?”

You giggled lightly as you felt his heart pace up, moving your body a bit so you could face him as you cheekily thought of another idea.

“You are so so cheesy darling" You chuckled as you noticed his cheeks begin to turn red at not only the nickname but your soft laughter and fondly continued,

"And well there is definitely one way."

You finished as you grabbed his collar, once again pulling his lips onto yours as you shifted your position to be in a more comfortable one, which was directly on his lap as you looped your arms once again behind his neck while biting his bottom lip and he squeezed your hips gently in response as he groaned.

At that moment you both knew, there was no turning back. You both were in too deep now, lost in each other’s thoughts and arms and you couldn’t have it any other way.

And oh of course, you both owned Lee Kangin a huge fucking thank you.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

TAGLIST (those who have been waiting, thank you so much !) : @qhangi @toomanydamfandoms @exo-saranghajaaa @huang-the-geek @srodulvroux @layla409 @sstarrysshit @alotofrandomfangirling @sagittarious12 @tnrthings @ameliabs-world @abdiitcryy @detectivelola @midnightcoterie 💗 again thank you for your support !!

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#cho guesung #cho gue sung #cho guesung imagines #cho gue sung fanfic #cho guesung x reader #south korea nt #cho guesung fluff #cho guesung angst #lee kangin #lee kang in #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #x gender neutral reader #yn insert #reader insert #cho guesung ff #cho gue sung x reader #[ pri works ]

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warmerstranger · 11 months

Text

SAPPY AND THUMPING HEARTBEAT!

ft. (separate) Mayoi Ayase, Midori Takamine, Tsumugi Aoba.

This took me ar.4 days while studying their character, sorry if they're not still exactly on point wee ;( not beta read.

°°``summary: they like you but doesn't take things further when you suddenly become their very drive to a new point of relationship.

°°``Marked as and included with: fluff, angsty kind of, Mayoi being a silly creeper guy.., stalking implied but not extreme, self-deprecating humor... Just a few heads up, nothing too much ^^ also, I'm thinking the timeline for this is in !!/Music era

Mayoi Ayase

The one who takes things slow like baby steps while feeling that he doesn't deserve you. At the beginning, insistently asking if you maybe want to reconsider and apologizing because he have become your very wrong choice. Even though he was just pleased watching out for you from afar like the secret admirer he is... But, please don't misunderstand, he's actually has been dreaming this moment! He just can't help it that he still always have thoughts of your breakup in various worst case scenarios and he every so often compulsively expresses it. Holding onto your trust in him, he's slowly learning and working to be the best boyfriend so the chances of you leaving him is decreased.

Dating with Mayoi involves...

➻❥ Lots of understanding and reassurance coming from either both of you. He can easily pick up on your social cues, thus knowing instantly what would make you uncomfortable (even if he sometimes misunderstands thinking he's the source of it) and handle the situation well in a way your worries will be left scurrying off♪ so, please go easy on him whenever he makes any mistakes and goes on apologizing while belittling himself profusely about it.

➻❥ Acts of service. Even without you telling him, he can be unexpectedly a gentleman, shown through little gestures that would make him sound as if he's lesser than you although he means well. You wouldn't need to open a door by yourself and dirtying your hand with the unknown doorknob that have been in many people's hands so let him be the sacrifice since he's already not that 'clean' himself. Wiping your sweat off your face? Leave it to him, it's always been a dream to have a close up on your face he could die happily. The very same guy who would also lay on the road when you have to step over a puddle please stop him

➻❥ Physical touch. Depends after he learns that you've grown comfortable enough with him. Sometimes when you merely complimenting or acknowledging his efforts, he would tear up and hug you, saying you shouldn't be so kind to him since he wouldn't be able to hold himself back from spoiling you with all of his physical affection he could muster... He swears his heart could give out yet his grin is that of the most giddy man living if you're the one who would initiate it first. Surprisingly sudden yet tender in his advances.

➻❥ Vague menacing flirts; “Times like this makes me raring to put my beating heart out on your plate I wish my ribcage is a closet easily opened by you.”

“I feel so complete being with... you, I wouldn't mind having you wear my skin if I could.”

➻❥ Vulnerable, trembling kisses that barely graze your lips before slowly securing the right position with them, placing the effect of a stillness in space and time. Mayoi would muster up the best kiss he could give and still apologize if that one kiss isn't that good to you. He's not one to refuse for more kisses if you so wish, a better result he promises.

➻❥ Messy morning and evening text of 'i love you's accompanied by little cute emoticons along with specific cautionary expressing his worry 'Please always look both way when crossing the road!' or 'Please be careful of having your phone out in the public... it might get snatchedd or worse I'm sorry'

➻❥ You braiding his hair, him pampering you by styling your hair or giving you some accessories to decorate your outfit. His gifts are mostly sparkling trinkets he found from the ES vents secret rooms, stuffed animals, and little diorama of your anniversaries with him.

➻❥ Domestic indoor type of dates at home where this man is more like personal servant sometimes waking you up and making breakfast or dinner. Occasionally on some uneventful days though, there are other times you realize that he really is still your boyfriend.

~~~

A gentle greeting hangs up in the air, not reaching your ears even as he crouches down and peeks to you from the foot of your bed. He then creeps toward the side and now watches your rythmic breathing, feeling bad for what he's about to do but reminding himself that it's for the sake of you too.

“(Name)... Wakey-wakey... I'm so sorry I have to disturb you out of your beauty sleep. I know I'm only an annoying pest but please—umm, you're not.. no, no, you have to wake up. I have prepared you breakfast...” he whispers, nervously frowning.

“Yesh... just wait.” Stirring awake, you mumble before staying silent again. Giving you a few minutes as he admires your face, he soon shakes his head fervently. “Th-this can't do... (Name), you're perfectly fine with it, then, right? I'm sorry, ple-please don't mind, you can hit me all you want or banish me later though I would rather you—In a-a-anyy case! Pardon me...”

He slithers under your sheets knowing you aren't getting up any sooner, cuddling and nuzzling to you with hopes that you would be bothered enough to wake up. Yet, Mayoi wants this moment stay for as long as it could basking in your overall blissful presence.

Chuckling to him, you reply. “Gee, that just makes me want to sleep in more.”

He beams before sitting upright while holding your hands, accompanied by a bright smile rivaling the sun. “Th-that makes me flattered, hehe maybe we can—oh, no no (Name), you can do it, just one step away and getting closer to facing this day, please.” A hopeful tone lace his rushed sentence.

“Okay, what about my morning kiss as the final push?” you ask, pointing to your cheek.

Stammerring abashedly, he closes and opens his mouth. “..I, I can't simply-! No really, I mean... I was thinking of saving it fo-for later... But, it can't be helped if it's your wish...”

With eyes tightly shut, he pecks your cheek then shuffles down from the bed. “Now, with that, please get ready soon.” he offers his hand out for you to support. “I'm all yours.”

Midori Takamine

The one who would begrudgingly goes with the flow you brought about and giving his all. Despite all the complaining of 'why does it have to be him' and 'what do you even see in him', he would've felt worse if he just refuse this very chance that might be the green sign he has been seeking for him to go forward. Midori starts feeling more at ease going out with you, while keeping his doubts to himself about you choosing a better partner than him and feeling he may as well end this dating stuff. But that would be just a bad move to go through. Because, in the end... how can he even avoid you when you're filled with expectant hopes of him like that?

Dating with Midori involves...

☘๑ His intimidating mild discomfort and informal words with actions that speak more even as he sighs often. Things would be way less difficult liking you who weren't that interested in him before and settle with having mascot characters that's similar to you... He just can't get how you have this deep a trust leaving the rest of things or counting on him to do them. Also feels like he's high in cloud nine or something whenever he manages to lift your mood. It's a simple one, but the most satisfying achievements he have ever done in his entire life, besides pretty much being known as, well, the vegetable boy. His sighs sounds more relieved with a fond smile around you...

☘๑ Acts of service. More of from your side with his greengrocer business going on. Midori does still return the favor whenever he could and it's usually out of willingness if he offers. A bit different story if you're the one who ask him first because he might just label it as a pain but you can help yourself just fine which means borrowing him as he won't refuse lending you a hand.

☘๑ Quality time. Hanging out in his room while reading casually some comics together and commenting on tidbits of it or just simply enjoying your company is all what he needs. He's not that creative enough with supportive words or reaching out to provide some physical affections (though he won't push away your affection if you do the latter first), but he's there and will always be your pillar to lean on. Every break or day off where he could be alone with you while free from works is one of his favorites. He always try to not do some tasks around those moments since he would just get stressed out because of it and instead simply sharing his attention and efforts on you.

☘๑ Veggies. Free and the freshest only. He would give you some that reminds him of you or if he could imagine you as an herbivore animal...

☘๑ Rushed one-lip kiss and pecks because he's so not wanting to deal with his heart going crazy so he would rather make it quic. Things like this takes him a lot of energy and it's better than messing anything up anyway... Except when you're not satisfied, then he would try giving you what you want by picking up the rest from where you lead.

☘๑ Pictures sent by him taking a picture of some plush mascot key strap hanging from a random person's bag. Aside from that, casual texts from time to time asking 'where are you. if you can, dont make me search...' > (meaning so he could get to you faster).

☘๑ Insecurities intimate talk. He was and sometimes does still speak about his own misery and melancholic view, but lately because you've become a source of his consideration, he's more focused on your complaints and agreeing with whatever he relates to. Other times, he will keep silent since he doesn't want—more than anything—being your burden, thinking it would be too much for you on those particular heavy days to him. He can't bear it if you frankly get sick of him, even when he also feel at the same time, you would be better off saving your time and leave him for someone else more... better or not a loser like him. But if you aren't bothered and still wants to lend him an ear, he might express them, all the while hugging tight his favorite plush mascot character to try sparing most negativity away from you. He isn't against receiving some of your comfort, even if that would take some time for him to get used to.

☘๑ Besides indoor dates, there's a mascot character hunt type of date with an example of going to the arcade in some days off or as a celebration of his live success. Such as on one night...

~~~

The arcade isn't that rowdy this night where it could come as suffocating and it's just perfect for him. You both walk further into the section of claw machines for the stuffed animal and all kind of mascots behind the glass, waiting for the next seizer.

“So... Are we gonna start any soon now?” his eyes are already locked on a particular machine filled with vegetable mascots.

Earlier, you have challenged him into a competition where the winner who have caught the most will receive all catch from the loser.

“Yep, go crazy, we'll meet again here in an hour.” you reply, leaving him who answered an energetic 'okay' before he runs over to the machine not far away on the right side.

Not long after, he soon have gotten three of his targets finally in his hands after many determined tries. There's suddenly a surprised 'wahh' voice sounding near by his side which causes him to press the button at the wrong time and as the result, the claw misses. “Uuh... It was so close too dammit, so annoying, wanna die...” he mumbles, looking down in despair when that same voice revealed to be a little boy speaks out.

“You're great, big stranger brother! Can you please catch some for me?”

An hour later on your way to the meeting point, you catch a little boy carrying a round bag full of mascots running with a big smile from the way where you meet Midori. He's scratching his head awkwardly while holding three plushies in his left arm. “Well... This is all I got.” he sighs, gesturing to the plushies.

“Oh, I also got three, luckily... what happened though?”

He glances between the plushies you have and at the floor. “Got too carried away winning for that boy earlier, so the others were...” his gaze soon return to your face with a slightly agape mouth. “Wait... Three, does that mean it's a tie?”

You nod. “Yeah! Oh, no, wait, the catch you did before still counts too, you're practically the winner. So, here. These are cute but I had fun just playing.” Handing them out to him, he instead shakes his head and pushes them back.

“No, no, thanks, you don't need to though really... I would just feel bad. The final fair results is the one we have in our hands right now.” he then smiles, “I still had fun too, anyway. I think my inner child just healed, thinking that boy reminds me of the childhood. At least, all the mascots have found their place in each of a happy owner. That's why, I could trust them to you.” On the rest way back, you can tell from how he sounds eager telling you fun facts and the backstories of each plushies you have, that it was indeed a fun time for the both of you.

Tsumugi Aoba

Similar to Mayoi, Tsumugi would be unsure how to pick up the initiative and if he's befitting of a love life. That's why, as long as he can help you from time to time and indulging in the warm feelings from seeing you happy is already a lot enough than what he could ask. More so, he feels responsible, mixed with bitter guilt that you have decided to choose him of all people... But he will try not to disappoint you and does his best, though in that aspect he somehow still acts like a friend with benefits most of the time, who doesn't seem to be treating you any different than others. That's until you find his acts are more apparent in multiplied forms and earnest expressions like your treatment is the result of being placed at the top of his world.

Dating with Tsumugi involves...

❁♡‧₊˚ His inviting aura that lets you reach out to him easily for anything you might need or if you're encountering some difficulties, even when he's in the middle of doing something, it's important to hear you out no matter what it is and think about how he can help. Unless there's some urgent work needing his attention firstmost, he would apologize with a disappointed frown, offering to plan another time between the tight schedule where he can aid you completely so he would really appreciate your patience. He would make it up to you, and he does, more than what you expect even. It feels like he has such motherly vibes, because he could be bringing the drinks you want along with some refreshments too for the discussions. You don't even realize a small torn part on your jacket until Tsumugi tells you and offers to sew it, he doesn't mind because he could show off his ability.

❁♡‧₊˚ Words of affirmation flows smoothly from him the second you seem troubled or depressed until your thoughts can be tidied and held under your capability of control again that it's easy to feel reassured. Although, it would be a lot harder were you the one to give such words because he would deflect almost any with an appreciative smile and expression about him who is undeserving of them. He'd rather you share such kind things to others who may need it more or it could serve as a good reminder worth keeping to yourself.

❁♡‧₊˚ Acts of service, naturally. You have his full attention, always compassionate in assisting you. Furthermore, his assistance is accompanied by a relaxed chat with you. He can even manage the tasks you have to be processed in order, becoming less overwhelming and tying them with how you do things so you can do them without difficulty. Do use him to your heart's content~ it makes him happy if you especially depend on him, no trouble at all. If you're the one who try to help him, he wouldn't let you do so if he can, he's supposed to be the dependable one after all... Eventually he caves in and feels motivated to finish his work faster, though.

❁♡‧₊˚ Talk for long hours, like any topic, any reminiscing, will keep you chatting on and on with him because they just give you many thoughts to think about and experience in a useful way. Those topics would time to time include him mentioning the past with a cheery tone, yet concealing the heavy implications within... But, you don't need to think too deeply about it. Besides, he's okay, and still thinking about the future in a hopeful manner, too. It's just like any other day and have the similar tone to one would speak about the weather today.

❁♡‧₊˚ Occasionally, you would receive lucky charms and your lucky item for the day from him when the morning is about to start. He would also offer to do a reading on your fortune with the intentions of helping you get ready facing the day ahead. Even if you don't believe in any spiritual part of them, he would like it if you keep the charms or item for him. So his feelings for you could stay safe in your hands everywhere you go and whenever you take a look at them, you would be reminded of him♪ that's what he would like to think, at least... He's also fine of throwing them away and not giving them to you again, he can find another way that would make you more pleased.

❁♡‧₊˚ Forehead kisses, soft and not too impudent for him to do. He's saving the deep kind on the lips for a better day and event such as birthdays or celebrations when he could feel like he's worthy of them. He would let you give those kisses as many as you like, but he wouldn't return them back, unless it's the time.

❁♡‧₊˚ A bouquet of flowers on every and each date with different color and type to commemorate the particular events on that day, on that note he would explain the message they symbolize if you like :) They're good as a build-up for the atmosphere, too. Even so, please excuse him being a little bit dense in the wrong moment sometimes. He can focus too much on making you happy it's almost like everything is about you rather than as a date of you and him; going any places you want to go, treating you to the food, bringing you drinks...

❁♡‧₊˚ Library and bookstore dates are his go-to usually. Even if books were not your interest, his presence already does much to make the experience fun and rewarding. Besides that, he likes visiting few diners with their special steamed red sweet buns which are his favorite. The moment he mentioned it with such a happy satisfied smile, you realize it would be good to buy him some especially on this late night in the library.

~~~

Already covered by his own blanket, he was slowly dozing off at the second you call his name out. “EEP—sorry I'm not... Oh, (name), it's only you. Your voice sounded so soft I thought a ghost was whispering to me, you see.” he smiles sheepishly. “Is there anything you need? You should go to sleep soon... though I'm not the right person to be saying this, huh, ahaha.”

Putting a tea on the long table, you then give him a wrapped box which he accepts. “Enjoy them while it's hot, let me handle your work.”

“Is this...” he leans his head closer to the box, eyes widening in realization of a faint smell wafting from the box. “Ah, I know this smell anywhere! Thank you, (name). For the tea and the buns. But I didn't do any work, it's only a few lesson plans needing to be reviewed. I'm almost done with them. I have troubled you enough...” The still closed box is laid down on his lap.

“Yeah, right, your eyes are almost done sleeping there too. Let me handle them if they're only few left.” you take a seat from his side.

“I have a much better idea, how about we eat this buns together? I don't think I would be able to keep myself awake if I'm left alone while you're focusing on them.” He moves the box up on the table, closing the distance between you and him while he wraps the blanket around you. “There we go. Today was really exhausting, but I managed to finish all the works. Well, except that one. Fufu, what reason do you have for staying up late?”

“..nothing much, just worried about you.”

He takes a bite from one of the buns, humming delightfully. “How thoughtful of you like always. I'm glad to be the one who occupy your mind at this time, thought I can't say I like the thought of worrying you.” Finishing a piece, he then leans on your shoulder. “I can still get some sleep and, I will be revitalized enough now that you're here. Tomorrow too, with the warmth and care you provide me, I can try working harder again as usual. I don't think I could ever repay you back even with this insignificant love I have compared to the dearest you. But, I hope you can still accept my best everything of efforts for your happiness...”

#enstars headcanons #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #tsumugi aoba x reader #mayoi ayase x reader #midori takamine x reader #ensemble stars headcanons #ensemble stars x you #enstars fluff #enstars x you

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domesticandlovingmonsters · 1 year

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Heart-Broken (Part 2)

Monster Pairing: Male!Orc x Female!Reader x Male!DragonBorn Notes: No real warnings here, just a little continuation on the angsty breakup story. Enjoy!

Part 1

This story was first published as a Commission but was continued on Patreon! Support me there and get early access to your favorite stories before they're posted to the public.

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Coffee in each hand, you used your hip to push open the door to your boss’ office. You squinted into the dark room, stalling for a moment to let your eyes adjust to the sudden disappearance of light. The blinds were shut tight and you could barely make out the desk and few chairs in front of it. A lump lay sprawled over the desk's surface. Curled spikes prodded from the dark shape with little chains hanging from the silhouette. It said nothing as you entered the dark room. “Rough night?” You asked. Placing down one of your coffees beside the lump. The same lump that grumbled and shifted so a clawed hand lazily slapped around the desk until it found the hot mug.

“I’m a homewrecker.” Lu mumbled. An almost sorrowful tone filling his tone.

You threw open the blinds. Bathing the room in sunlight as you answered.

“How are you a homewrecker?” You asked. Ignoring the pained complaints from the DragonBorn as he hid his eyes under a pair of heavily tinted sunglasses.

“Remember that girl I told you about,” Lu asked, leaning back in his overly plush office chair to sip his coffee. “Well, apparently…she has a fiance…”

You plopped down in one of the chairs across from Lu and arched an eyebrow. Waiting for him to continue. “I was so in love, (y/n). She was everything I wanted in a girl.”

“Her and the last four girls.” You said under your breath, behind your mug as you sipped your coffee.

Lu either didn’t hear it, or was too lost in his rant to comment. “We met again last night but she popped out that little nugget of information. Saying that her fiance was getting suspicious and she has to call it off.” Lu wiped a heavy hand down his long snout. The trinkets on his horns were disheveled and poorly placed. And the usual charming suit was wrinkled with a matching tie that hung loosely around his neck. You were used to coming in here and seeing Lu in some sort of state because of a girl. Your last few months of friendship hardened you just enough to feel not much pity for him. True, it was sad to see such a good man constantly ripped apart by horrible women, but Lu wasn’t exactly learning from his past experiences. Any girl that showed him an inch of kindness and attention, and he was gone. A puppy at the heels of its new owner. You were just there to pat him on the back and make sure he drank water and nibbled on something until he got over it.

“Did you eat this morning?” You asked. And Lu nodded.

“A bagel with cream cheese…alot of cream cheese.” You let him have that. At least something was in his stomach.

“At least this time it wasn’t you being too cuddly or something stupid.” You commented. Remembering the last break up had you in a spiral of anger. Lu was the sweetest guy you knew. Even though the two of you weren’t in any sort of relationship, he brought you flowers on occasions and sometimes little trinkets were left on your desk after you came back from lunch.

He was thoughtful and kind. Just an all round loving man. But the last girl hated it. Said he had been too overbearing, and embarrassing her with how much PDA he showed. When Lu told you this, you almost stalked her on Facebook just to find out if you could…visit her and give her a piece of your mind. But that was illegal. And Lu had his confidence shattered so harshly that you had no time to make visits. Building Lu up from that low blow took weeks. Until the new flame fanned through and he was back to his normal self.

Lu smiled that lopsided grin that told you he wasn’t in any mood to laugh, but found your words somewhat humorous. “Yeah, I guess it is better that it's not my fault this time.” His talons tapped the side of his mug for a moment before he sighed. “I’m really stupid aren’t I?”

You laughed and shook your head, reaching across the desk to pat his hand affectionately. “I think you’re just really unlucky. How many women live in this city? And every one you choose is a bitch? I guess you have to dig through the dirt to find gold, right?”

Another heavy sigh came from Lu as he smoothed down the front of his shirt. It was a nice black button up with a green tie that matched his scales. You spotted a small stain on the left side of the shirt, but the black material hid it well. He glanced at his watch and sniffled. Clearing his throat as he realized how late in the morning it was. “I guess I should make an appearance.” Lu finally said after a moment of comfortable silence. He stood and started to correct his disheveled attire. You waited, sipping your beverage as he straightened his tie and tucked in his shirt. He went to the mirror on the wall and took some care to realign his trinkets and chains that adorned his horns.

You always said that Lu was a handsome DragonBorn. And if you weren’t still healing from your last break up, you would be all over him. Like you said before, his gifts were adorable and he always made you laugh. Very rarely did you have a bad day that ended with you stewing in your frustration or anger. Lu made you feel comfortable and relaxed just by talking to you. He was a sweetheart. But your heart was still too bitter to let someone else in right now.

“You’re staring.” Lu teased. Winking at you from his reflection. You huffed. Used to the sudden flush of embarrassment every time Lu flirted with you. It took you a long time to accept Lu’s little jibes. But he did so, only with your consent and for your entertainment. He knew where he stood with you. He was a friend. A work colleague that took you out for drinks and nothing came at the end of the night other than a “I’m home safe” text from both of you. You sometimes fantasied the idea of the two of you dating. Seeing him treated the way he was, hurt you more than he knew. And not to brag or boast, but you would treat him well. Like you did with Dax… In sappy words, you treated Dax like a King and he treated you like a Queen. Equals. Partners. You loved each other so sweetly that when you looked back on it, your lives together still brought on a wave of sadness. You never were left unwanting and never left feeling lonely-

Claws clicked in front of your face and you startled out of your thoughts to look up at Lu. Who smiled down at you with a soft expression. A hand laying on your shoulder as an air of understanding passed between you.

“You’re thinking about him again.” Lu said. It wasn’t a question. Lu knew when you got lost in your thoughts. The breakup, even seven months old, still hurts like a jagged knife to your chest. You weren’t sure how long breakup pain was meant to go for. But you thought you’d be over it more than you were by now. You sighed and nodded. Letting your hand rest on Lu’s.

“We’re both suckers.” You teased. And Lu laughed. Nodding in agreement.

“I’m a hopeless romantic. And you’re a heart broken damsel.”

You jokingly glared up at the DragonBorn. “I’m not a damsel.”

“Well, I’m a Dragon and it's only fitting you’re the princess in the tower.” Lu said. Moving his hand and leading the way out of the office. You followed with your coffee in hand.

“What if I want to be the knight?” You asked. And Lu scoffed.

“I would love to see you in armor. You would be hot as fuck.” Lu said, passing between the desks and cubicles where the rest of his employees were. They smiled and greeted the two of you as they always did. Without enthusiasm but a genuine friendly tone. No one liked working. Everyone wanted to go home. At least Lu was one of those bosses that also wanted to go home, but knew bills had to be paid and didn’t expect everyone to be all smiles and cheerful. Another thing you liked about him. He treated his employees like people. Not numbers or robots.

Just as you were about to leave Lu and go to your desk, a young man came jogging up to the two of you. He was red faced and puffing. You knew this man. He was Lu’s secretary. Even though Lu hated the idea, he was still around. Mostly because Lu didn’t want to fire a family man who just got this job. And also because his mother insisted. “I can’t deny this place pays well. I’m not going to sack him because I hate being followed.” Lu would say whenever he complained about Matt.

Lu greeted Matt just as warmly as everyone else. But there was an undertone of impatience to it.

“Matt, what news does my mother want me to hear?” He asked. And you chuckled as you went to your desk. Just two desks away from where Matt trapped Lu.

“Actually, it's from the front desk. They couldn’t reach your phone.” Matt huffed. Taking a deep breath to stop himself from wheezing before continuing. “There’s a man downstairs that is looking to talk with you. He doesn’t have an appointment, but he won’t leave without seeing you. The girls downstairs are worried.”

Now very interested, you slid your chair over to sit behind Lu so you could listen in. Your boss’ tail slid along the ground and pushed you back against your desk. You pouted at him as you were slowly shoved away from the very juicy moment.

“I’ll be down in a minute. Make sure security is at the ready in case it's a weirdo.” Lu said, his usual nonchalant, lazily tone now a hardened growl. Lu tried to avoid conflict as much as possible. He hated how stupid most arguements were and most could be fixed with a very simple solution of people having common sense. But when it came to his building and his staff, you got to see the Dragon side of him. He didn’t mess around when it came to the safety and comfort of his employees.

Matt nodded and scurried away. Pushing his phone to his ear as he went to the elevator. Lu sighed heavily and removed his tail from the back of your chair.

“Duty calls.” He said with a heavy expression.

“Tell me all about it when you get back?” You asked.

“Of course! We don’t get this much excitement all the time.” Lu expressed. Flashing you a smile as he followed after Matt. Giving the secretary enough time to give the heads up and be down there before Lu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dax knew this building. Many mornings and afternoons he had dropped you off for work and picked you up from it. He knew the address and the floor you were on. Having sent many flowers and ordered food just for you. It stung a little to be in a place that was so familiar to him. And he almost didn’t come. The chance of seeing you again made his chest tighten and his palms sweat. But he had a job to do. Tucker was worried about Pepper, his fiance. For the past couple of weeks she had been acting weird. So weird that even Dax had noticed the distance she started to bring to her relationship with Tucker. And a week ago, Tucker finally folded and asked Dax about it. Confiding in his best friend about his worries about Pepper.

“What if she’s cheating?” Tucker had whimpered. “I don’t know how to take that.”

“She’s not.” Dax had reassured the satyr. “You know her family is strict. Maybe she’s trying to fix something with them and keep you out of it. She’s like that, remember? When the two of you started dating, there was a month where she refused to go out anywhere with you. And you thought it was because she was ashamed? But really it was because she was scared her family would see her with someone. Let me talk to her. Maybe she’ll tell me.”

Dax didn’t have to ask Pepper what was going on. He followed her one night. Spotting her out in the city when he was about to go home from work. She was dressed up in her nicest dress. The one he remembered Tucker really liked. And she went into a club. Alone. Which was strange because Pepper very rarely went anywhere without her group of friends. Dax wasn’t usually the one to follow and spy on people. He liked to keep his business to himself and let whatever the fuck was going on, be alone. But Tucker was worried. And Pepper was acting weird. His two best friends were starting to split apart and he really wanted to make sure Pepper was alright.

At least, that's what he told himself when he followed her into the club and spied her kissing the cheek of a green DragonBorn. He looked rich. In that pompous, playboy way in a stylish suit and covered in shiny things. His hands were all over Pepper. Holding her hand. Laying on her hip when they got their drinks and found a booth. Playing with her hair and watching her laugh with a distant, awe filled gaze. Pepper was all smiles and sitting so close she was basically on the man’s lap.

He had seen enough. And for a few days he wrestled with the idea of telling Tucker. He deserved it know. Dax would never hide something like this from him. But how do you tell someone, your best friend, that their child-hood sweetheart was out with other men without him knowing? He didn’t know how. And he had no idea how to confront Pepper either. Or how she would react to his knowledge of her outings. But he did know he wanted to do one thing. Confront the guy Pepper was seeing. Make sure he didn’t harass Pepper again and ensure he knew she was an engaged woman. It was how you and he met after all. It was one thing he was good at. Making men back down from harassing women. On the beach, you were in a swimsuit that made you look so sexy. And him playing beach volleyball with Tucker and some other friends. He never lied to you, he had checked you out many times during that day. Who could resist such a sight? But then a group of guys went to you and your friends, not taking no for an answer when you tried to get them to leave you all alone. And so Dax, the intimidating, hulky gray orc had to step in and ask if everything was alright. Pretending to be someone you knew until the group of idiots left.

One conversation later and he asked for your number. Which you gave and the rest was history.

The DragonBorn Pepper had seen might not know what was going on. But if he did, Dax had to put a stop to it immediately before he confronted Tucker. ….He didn’t have a reason why this was the better plan. Probably to postpone the heartbreaking news to his friend. But as the DragonBorn exited the elevators, wings neatly folded against his back, suit crisp and clean, Dax felt a surge of anger rise in him. Why this man of all people? Did Pepper seriously try her luck with a womanizer like this?

“Leave Pepper alone.” He growled. And the DragonBorn stopped in his tracks. The stoic expression changed to surprise and a long stretch of silence followed. The emerald gaze floated from Dax’s old sneakers, up along the torn black jeans, to the shaggy mane of hair atop his head. The fucker laughed. Actually, laughed.

His clawed hands lifted from his pants pockets in an act of peace. Palms out towards Dax as if to stop the wall of fury coming any closer. The smile was easy going. But it made Dax even more irritated.

“Easy, tiger. Pepper already called it off.” The reptilian replied. “Are you the fiance then?”

The look this DragonBorn had already told Dax he knew Pepper was not his girlfriend.

“I’m a friend of his.” Dax replied. Allowing his anger to flow through his words. “Did you know about her relationship?”

“It wasn’t like she wore the ring.” The DragonBorn said. “The moment she told me, I left. I didn’t know.” He added on. Like he was making sure that was certain. “She told me her fiance was catching on and that we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I, for one, almost fainted when she dropped that bombshell. Could you pass on my apologies to the guy for me?” Dax hated the genuine tone to this guy’s words. Like he was actually sorry for what had happened. But there was no way he didn’t know. Someone like him didn’t care about such things. He was a rich kid after all.

Dax looked around. People were staring. A handful of personnel were standing by the doors. They were big people. Minotaurs, other orcs, even an ogre stood among them. The women behind the desk were busying themselves with computers and patrons to the building. But Dax could see their concerned glances.

He couldn’t do this here.

Dax bunched up his fists and stuffed them in his hoodie pockets. The DragonBorn was around the same height as him. But he was thinner. And Dax leaned forward just a little to glare into the DragonBorn’s eyes.

“Make sure I don’t see you with her again.” Dax growled. Before turning on his heels and storming out the building. He saw the security guards about to step towards him, but in the reflection of the window, he glimpsed the DragonBorn raise his hand to stop them. Dax left the building with that raging fire still in him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Lu returned from his adventure downstairs his expression was distant. Thoughtful. And you quickly finished off what you were doing to catch him as he entered his office.

“That bad?” You asked. Unsure how to handle this situation. Lu kept it professional when it came to the company’s business. You were left in the dark about a lot of it, which you understood. You were in no position to know anything about the company’s finances or hirings or anything to do with the higher ups. And you didn’t like pushing it to know either. Because it could come out that you were trying to worm your way into the business through Lu. Which you definitely were not. But sometimes, the business hung on Lu’s shoulders like weights. And you just wanted to know if he was ok.

Lu seemed to be startled by your presence. He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, pretty bad. You won’t believe who-” He stopped mid-sentence. And you waited patiently for him to name who had visited him without a call or appointment. Lu was an important man. But everyone knew they needed some sort of time slot to see him. Otherwise he shrugs them off and tells them to make an appointment if it isn’t an emergency. He had no time for random visits from strange people. But he looked at you and you could almost see his expression change from confused to worried then to a laughing smile.

“It was a mistress…of my mother’s.” He finally said. Like he had been holding his breath for a long time. “Apparently she isn’t answering her phone. So, the lady tried to go through me to her.”

You scoffed and leaned against the door frame. “Really? What are you? A messaging dove?”

“That's what I said!” Lu exclaimed with a shake of his head. “But I am going to gloat to Mother that her little succubus friend came by. She’s gonna be so pissed!’ He waved you away as he picked up his phone. And you closed the door behind you as you left to continue your work.

That afternoon, you worked a little later than usual. Both you and a few other co-workers got caught up in an avalanche of paperwork. And with the weekend coming up, you really didn’t want to get caught working late again. So, you busted it out alongside your team and got it done just as Lu finished up his last meeting. He gave you all a hard, but playful, look when he came out of his office and spotted your cluster of workers.

“You guys are going to make me look bad if you keep working so hard.” Lu sighed as he waited by your desk. “I want to be out of here by 4pm every day. If you all keep working this hard, I’m going to have to work harder so I’m not replaced.” It was 6:30pm when you grabbed your bag and joined him by the elevators. Your team chatted between themselves as you all piled into the lift. Lu conversed with Abby as he answered a few emails. Totally oblivious to her hints at getting a drink with him tonight. You kicked his shin and he looked at you in surprise. Before following your sideward glance at Abby as she giggled.

“Oh, um, actually, (y/n) and I were going to go get dinner. I owe her for picking up some of my slack.” Lu said. You were totally dumbfounded by his response. But Abby seemed ok with it. She told him that she’ll ask again another time and say her goodbyes as the elevator door opened. Everyone piled out and left the building. You dragged Lu to stray behind the crowd. Pinching his sides.

“What are you doing? She’s so sweet!” You scolded Lu. Who sighed heavily and shrugged.

“I want to take a moment away from dating, that's all.” He told you. “And yeah, she is really sweet. But I don’t think she’s my type.”

You gasped theatrically at him. “You have a type?” Lu pushed you playfully away. Making you laugh as you clung to his arm so you weren’t pushed too far away. “But seriously. Are you all good? Ever since that visitor today you’ve been acting weird.”

Lu made a show of hooking your arm under his and patted your hand affectionately. His love language was touch. Even to his friends he would hold their hands or link arms. It was just his way of showing affection. “She shook me a little.” Lu said with a reassuring smile. “Promise I’m ok. Just had a lot of my plate today. Nothing some good food and a drink won’t fix.” You let it drop. Lu would eventually either tell you what was actually wrong, or you would pry bits and pieces from him until you could figure it out. Either way, distracting him with food was the best idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dax felt like a creep. Straying near the building for the rest of the day until the last of the workers left, felt wrong. What was he even doing here? The DragonBorn said he didn’t know Pepper was engaged and said he had laid it off. Dax still had to go home and break the news to Tucker about all this mess. Maybe that’s why he didn’t leave yet. Pretending like he cared what this DragonBorn did after he finished work. Because he was still postponing the heart shattering news to his best friend.

He sighed and leaned heavily against the car seat. He had been here for hours. Waiting and watching. Unsure what he was really doing here other than scoping out for the DragonBorn. Sitting in his car across the street from the company you worked at. Watching the front doors as people started to leave. And strange thing was, he hadn’t seen you leave yet. Did you get a new job elsewhere? You were usually out of the office by 4pm. And you tried to worm your way out of working late all the time. You hated coming home and not have a lot of time in the afternoon for yourself. Going home. Dax corrected himself. He sighed again and rubbed his eyes to relieve some of the tiredness from them. It wasn’t until the sun had gone down did he finally spot the DragonBorn amongst the small crowd of workers. He was much taller than the rest of them and his laugh seemed to echo through the street like a melody.

But then, Dax saw you. And his chest nearly burst open with the sudden rush of emotion that came over him. You looked well. Dressed in one of your professional outfits that Dax had once helped you put together. Your smile was wide and your eyes gleamed with laughter. He swallowed the thick ball that choked his throat and forced his gaze away from you. His nails dug into the palm of his hand as his fists clenched. Watching the DragonBorn curl his arm over yours and his scaly fingers stroke your hand lovingly.

The emotion in him boiled into that all too familiar anger. He gritted his teeth. Feeling his jaw ache as his teeth were clenched together. You looked up at the DragonBorn with that same smile that used to turn Dax to puddy. Holding the creature close as he led you to a nearby car. Where the driver got out and opened the door for the two of you.

She moved on quick. The bitter words bounced around in his head like a swarm of locusts. And that cheating scumbag has her under his thumb as well.

Your car smoothly pulled out onto the road once you were seated inside. And Dax turned his car on and followed. At first, he thought maybe you were being dropped home. But instead the car drove past your place and pulled up by one of the restaurants nearby. It was one of your favorites. Dax didn’t enjoy many of the dishes there but he loved taking you. A night out and then a good movie cuddle session. Another sharp pain in his chest made his knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. He kept driving. Moving quickly so you didn’t spot his beat up old car as you exited the vehicle. But he pulled up in a parking spot down the street. Getting out just in time to see you and the DragonBorn go inside.

How was he going to tell you? What was his plan right now? You haven’t spoken in 7 months and suddenly Dax is going to kick down this door and say that the Dragon is cheating on you with Pepper? He stalled. Keeping away from the front of the restaurant where large, crystal clean windows displayed its patrons inside.

It would sound ridiculous… What proof did he have right now? He hasn’t even told Tucker yet. What if the DragonBorn lied right to your face and you believed him over Dax?

He breathed heavily. Rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. He could feel the heavy scruff on his cheeks and chin and there was a sweaty scent to his hand.

In the sliver of glass that he stood next too, his reflection stared back at him with a sullen look. His hair was a mess and the hoodie he wore had stains on it. It was his workout clothes. Meant to get dirty and smelly before he went for a shower and change. He could see you in the back. Seated at a corner table with a candle and decorative flowers as the centerpiece. The DragonBorn spoke to the waiter and ordered for both of you while you picked through your phone. Dax knew you hated eating dinner without your phone being on vibrate. You had once said it ruined the mood if a notification suddenly pinged during the romantic moments.

In the candlelight, you looked beautiful. You haven’t changed a bit. And it was eating at Dax that it wasn’t him beside you.

He couldn’t even remember why the two of you broke up. The argument was a blur to him. The day before it was even less of a memory. He just remembered being angry. He was always angry.

“Excuse me, sir.” A voice called to him. And he was greeted with a kind eyed man in the restaurant's uniform. “A table for one? Or are you expecting company?”

Dax glanced back at you one more time before shaking his head. “No, thank you. I was just looking at the place. Driven past so many times, I thought I’d finally see it in person.” He lied. Hoping his smile didn’t show any of the pain he was feeling right now.

The man smiled in return and bid him goodnight before returning to the door. Dax didn’t wait around after that. He needed to fix things with Tucker before he could confront you with this news. Perhaps he could get Tucker to do it. Save the embarrassing meeting all together by getting the true victim of all this to break the news.

Another heavy sigh and Dax got back into his car and sped away.

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