#they're qpp they would do anything for one another | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bnhabeans · 11 months

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Class 1a pride headcanons let's gooooo 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Going by seat order bc I'm autistic and it makes good sense

Also no mineta bc I don't know what to do with him

1. Aoyama 🌟🩶

Nonbinary and aspec. They aren't sure if they have a definitive gender one way or another but if anyone asks they just say "sparkling of course!! ✨️" as for sexuality/romantic attraction they are asexual and still questioning their romantic alignment. Honestly they would be happy going through life with maybe some qpps and not really thinking too much about it

2. Mina 👽🩷

Bi as hell babey!! Everyone is gorgeous in their own way!! Mina falls in love so fast and with so many people she's just like. Everyone deserves love and if she's gotta be the one to give it then so be it.

3. Tsu 🐸💚

Distinguished lesbian. Not afraid to tell the other 1a girls what makes them attractive. Tsu loves complimenting ppl and feels very proud of herself whenever the other girls get flustered bc she knows it means she's made their entire day.

4. Iida ⏩️💙

Bisexual and doesn't know what to do about it. Has many panicked conversations with Tensei over finding people attractive and feeling very weird about it bc they all live together and also puberty hormones hit him like a truck about a month or so after meeting everyone.

5. Ochako 🌌🩷

Pansexual. Very proud of it. Often seen very loudly validating her classmates identities and making sure that any potential homophobes and transphobes know that they will be punted into the stratosphere if they so much as breathe wrong in the general direction of anyone ochako cares about

6. Ojiro 🐒🤎

Token cishet. Great ally tho.

7. Kaminari ⚡️💛

Nonbinary and bisexual. Pronouns vary by the day. Often jokes that they've never made a decision in their entire life because of this. When they go pro there ends up being an official line of Chargebolt merch that has the slogan "gender? I don't even know'er!" On it.

8. Kirishima 💪❤️

Bisexual but kind of oblivious to it. Equates attraction to admiring someone for being "manly." It is discovered at some point during his years at UA that his personal definition of manly just encompasses all the traits that he finds attractive in a person plus other traits he admires but isn't necessarily into. This makes for a very confusing journey of self-discovery.

9. Kouda 🐇🤍

Grey ace. Questions his gender sometimes but is not overly concerned with what gender is the right one. More interested in solid friendships than dating too and so he ends up with qpps as his most meaningful relationships

10. Sato 🍫💛

Stereotypical cake loving aro ace. He doesn't care what everyone else is doing, he's busy perfecting his ganache.

11. Shouji 🤝🩵

On the ace spectrum but still figuring out exactly where. He has body image issues due to trauma and that kind of effects his views on attraction and romance.

12. Jirou 🎵💜

She thinks she's bi but she's still figuring it all out. Honestly anyone that can vibe to music with her could catch her eye, and she especially likes people that have slightly odd tastes such as listening to classical music or pre-quirk pop*

*(this is based on the headcanon that bnha takes place a couple hundred years into the future. Pre-quirk pop would just be the pop of the 80s up to about now in her view)

13. Sero 🩹🩶

(I couldn't find a tape emoji so bandaid it is)

Pansexual. He and ochako get along very well bc not only do they share an identity in this way, they also both feel like they're parenting their respective neurodivergent friend groups lol.

14. Tokoyami 🐦‍⬛🖤

Homoromantic ace. Sometimes does Bird Things to show his affection like bringing gifts and trinkets to ppl he is interested in or like nesting with their stuff. He finds these urges embarrassing but everyone else thinks it's cute and adores him for it.

15. Todoroki ❄️🔥❤️🤍

Gay gay homosexual gay. Has absolutely no idea how romance or crushes or teenage hormones or anything is supposed to work so he just does not realize that it isn't normal to daydream about cuddling his male classmates. Ochako gently explains the concept of a crush to him after he mentions something about this offhand and it blows his fucking mind.

16. Hagakure 🌫🤍

Bisexual and a very proud member of the Loving Women Club. Has a huuuuggeee crush on Mirko (which like, same girl).

17. Bakugou 💥🧡

Gay. Has a very specific taste in men but he won't tell anyone what it is because like three people on the entire planet fit the criteria (in his mind anyway) and he does not want anyone figuring out who he might be into because he sees it as weakness. Even after he goes to therapy he describes his type as "certain dumbasses who have issues and can't take a single fucking hint" so.

18. Deku 🐰💚

Bisexual disaster and everyone around him knows it. Has like 3 crises a day over finding random classmates attractive and overthinks everything there is to overthink in the situation. Luckily for him everyone knows what he's like and how his brain works and they find it endearing (even if certain classmates won't say it out loud)

19. Yaomomo ⚛️❤️

Lesbian. Momo recognizes that all the girls around her are so pretty and talented and it's a win for her bc they have such a culture of uplifting each other so she's constantly getting compliments from very pretty girls. She's living her best life as the president of the loving UA women club.

Bonus: shinso!!! 🐱💜

Shinso uses the Queer umbrella label. He has a preference for men but is generally attracted to any gender. When he transfers into class A the first two weeks are like a constant crisis bc he's like. Getting attention from all these attractive and talented people??? And they like him for who he is??? Paralyzing.

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ashalsdream · 8 months

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Ok… so this is gonna be random because tbh, I’m not thinking about anything at the minute except for this. And I’ll be honest, not the best at ship hc, so I hope this works?

1. Phil’s feathers would fall out every once in a while. When this happened the first time, Forever picked up one of his feathers off the ground and they started talking about Phil’s wings. Now Forever keeps the feather and just uses it as like a good luck charm

2. When Forever was passed out from the drug antidote and was carried out and put on the bench, Phil wrapped his wing around him, simply making sure that he didn’t get cold throughout the night. Phil refused to leave his side for the rest of the night. So they slept until the next day and they moved Forever to the hospital.

3. Phil has become protective over Forever, he always has been, but especially much more since the drug ark. So if he’s around and there’s even the slightest hint of noise, Phil will outstretch one of his wings behind Forever, even if he knows he can protect himself.

4. When Phil disappeared, and when Forever woke up, Forever instantly became worried as Phil didn’t come to see him, and he could remember his voice, what he said, while he slept. He laughed the entire time with Phil, it game him something to try and think about. It became all the more prominent as an entire murder of crows flocked the Favela and even at the presidential office. They were relatively silent, and if one did speak, they would instantly be shut up by the others. Back to my point, Forever searched everywhere for Phil, even trying to talk to the crows. They looked almost sick so he didn’t push it. When Forever noticed Phil was back, he knew something was off as he sounded exhausted, even if he had been sleeping the entire time. So Forever practically became as vigilant around Phil and he was around Forever.

Honestly, I don’t know what there is to say on my end. I’ve never really looked into hc for duos, specifically ships. And Philever isn’t my top ship so it makes it all the harder (Deathduo is my first). But I hope I did this right? Never done anything like this so I hope you get my point.

YYESSS I ADORE THESE!! also totally get the ship thing, i personally see phil and missa as queer platonic partners because they have the same vibes as me and my qpp when we play minecraft LMAO

as someone who owns a bird, feathers get EVERYWHERE bro they are all over the place. Forever keeps the longest one on a necklace but every so often when Phil loses another, he keeps them all in a small jar (something that I do with my bird, its very cute)

I can absolutely see them becoming more attached to each other after the drug/disappearance arc like Forever even goes to Etoiles to ask him about it and he doesn't speak to Etoiles often he just knows they're close. It becomes more worrying when they both realise neither have heard from Phil.

I love the idea that Forever has his own crow that follows him around, they keep an eye on him and make sure he's safe so that if he's not, Phil can get there quickly. Phil doesn't want to lose him again whether thats to the drugs or to kidnapping, he refuses to lose Forever.

I also love the idea that their relationship happened because Phil refused to admit he had feelings UNTIL Forever "gave up" and started flirting and spending time with other people and Phil was like "No wait- wait no,,, come back"

#qsmp #philever #sugarduo #mcyt #asks #glith0

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aita-blorbos · 7 months

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Am I The Asshole for not telling my QPP that I (sort of) came back from the dead?

My Queer Platonic Partner (4595 M), who I'll call F, and I (~300k M) got together in the late eleventh century, and we've basically been married since the sixteenth century. (Not legally, obviously, but we lived together and pooled our finances and all that.)

While doing some spy work in France during WWII (on behalf of the Allies) I got another future vision showing me getting killed by this cult of weird supernatural obsessed rich people, and I could tell it would happen sometime in the next year or so. Now, there are ways to shift small details of the stuff I see in my future visions, but I'm pretty sure trying to change anything too major would break the fabric of spacetime, if you could even manage to make a change in the first place, so I accepted pretty quickly that my demise was inevitable and started making preparations (writing a will, etc.)

Obviously after all this time I know F pretty well, and he tends to struggle dealing with grief; most of his friends are other immortals and he only really interacts with mortals professionally. I also know there would be absolutely no way he would just accept the fact that my death is inevitable, and would end up spending the next however-long-I-had-left trying to find a solution and would probably really beat himself up about it when he failed.

On top of that, telling other people too much about my visions tends to lead to bad stuff happening (like an immortal cult leader/dictator from my home dimension, who we'll call C, massacring 60+ planets, attempting to take over Earth multiple times, and basically turning his kid into a living weapon), so I don't tend to tell people about them, a boundary which F knows about and usually respects.

So basically, I didn't tell F what I saw. I got kidnapped, he tried to rescue me but was a bit too late, I bled out after getting stabbed by a magic sword, etc., etc. Now, when people of my species die, we get reincarnated. We're reborn in an entirely new body, and with our memories suppressed, we grow into entirely new people with entirely new experiences. You keep your magic powers and basically stop aging around 20, but that's about it. It's a bit different for humans for slightly complicated deific political reasons, I think? F knows this because I told him about it at some point.

After I died, the wife (? F) of one of F's old friends showed up and told me she was Death and that C was gonna try to invade Earth again at some point in the future and my help would be needed, so she was willing to let me sort of... stick around in my reincarnation (now 78 NB)'s brain. So obviously I agreed.

My reincarnation, E, was born somewhere in the US shortly after I died. For context, F and I previously lived in the UK. I hung back for most of E's childhood because I wanted to let them live their own life, but I did help them out a few times with bullies and shitty teachers and stuff. (They're queer and neurodivergent and grew up in the 50s, so they didn't exactly have the best childhood).

There wasn't exactly a whole lot I could do to contact F when E was younger, and even when they got older, there still wasn't much I could do without fucking up their life, so basically I spent several decades only showing up when E was asleep or everyone involved was super high, so even E didn't know I existed.

Sometime around the early 80s E started getting into superhero stuff, which isn't really my cup of tea, so I ended up sorta taking a nap for a few decades. I woke up in the mid 2010s to find out that F and E had apparently become friends? Again, I don't want to mess up either of their lives, and it seemed to me like F had moved on, so I continued hiding.

Recently, C started trying to invade earth again, so I started sneaking out at night to try to stop them with the help of R (18 NB/M?), the literal only other person who knew I existed. (He accidentally ran into me getting a late night snack while breaking into E's house for prank reasons. It's a long story.) We ended up running into some other people, including F's dad (4622 F), so eventually a total of like, 4 people knew about my existence. None of them knew I was me, as in F's dead ex QPP/E's past life. Fortunately, I was able to convince everyone not to tell E or F about me.

Fast forward to a couple months ago, C launched a full scale attack on the city where basically everyone involved in this mess lives. I won't go into too many details, but during the attack E ended up getting hit with a "sleeping spell" which basically just knocked them out, leaving me in control of the body by default. My fighting style is pretty different than E's, so F recognized me almost immediately.

We ended up getting into a pretty big argument about me not telling him I was still around, during which I ended up finding out that after I died he basically lost all faith in humanity and tried to destroy the world a couple times, and he basically admitted he still wasn't over my death, but he was also really pissed at me for not telling him that I was still around. I tried to explain but F still insisted I should have told him. We're both fairly stubborn and quick to anger, so the argument ended up getting a bit out of hand, and now we aren't talking to one another. I understand why he's angry, but I still feel like I didn't have any other choice.

Am I The Asshole?

(Side Note: E is now aware I exist and is trying to act as a mediator. They understand my reasoning for not outright telling them, and had a pretty good laugh over all the signs of my existence that they missed, but F is still pissed on their behalf about me not telling them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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darianias · 9 months

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My view/TED Talk on Tengen Uzui and a platonic relationship with wives (not canon lol)

⚠️CW:⚠️ adult topics are addressed but nothing explicit is mentioned what so ever, probable typos everywhere, this is composes of half-awake ADHD tangents that wouldn't leave my mind so I'm writing it down so my brainw will chill and I can sleep lol. Meaning this isn't planned out in the slightest. No professionalism here. 😅 Also due to the tangental nature of this, don't take this as an attack on anyone or thing. Please. 🙏 That is the opposite reasons why I am posting this.

⚠️DISCLAIMER:⚠️ This talks about Tengen and his wives not being in love; despite me shipping it otherwise. (this isn't hate it's more so to help people be more comfortable and have access to more fics comfortably lol. I will not tolerate bigotry towards: polysexuals, polyromantics OR anyone LGBTQIA+. You will be blocked and reported.

Explanatory tangent about why I'm making this and QPPs:

feel free to skip the intro if you already understand lol the entire tangental for the most part anyay.

Into & brief? Personal QPP explanation

I'm writing this in the wee hours of the morning because I was trying to get settled to sleep reading fics... when I remembered that alot of people can't read a lot of Tengen fics as they're not into poly or aren't into women one way or another. It... somewhat bothers me that people get upset, but I also understand where people come from at least, as I just have a different mindset, and I think it could help some people's destress with this???

I am among those not really into women and am picky about polyships in general but esp with y/n. However, I am also aspec, specifically demisexual and demiromantic are the labels I'm most comfortable with in these cases. Why do I mention this? Well...

Among the #Asexual & #Aroromantic community we can feel and have relationships that can be labeled as Queer Platonic. (I imagine it can happen with any sexuality but that's not the point here.)

A Queer Platonic Relationship is a kind of strong platonic love that's stronger than just friendships but without the romantic or sexual feelings of a romantic or sexual relationship. It doesn't have to be between two people of the same sex or gender, it can be oppsites.

Also I'm not expert so do you research, a this is from a personal pov here to try and give an example.

I am in a Queer Platonic relationship of around 10 years now. The love I feel is just as real as others but it's different. In a way it's like how some animals become a bonded pair or set. I would do anything for her, but I would never feel comfortable or desire to kiss her, date her, or "sleep" with her. 🤢 Cuddles are the furthest I'd go and since we don't live alone we'd never do it around my dad, as most people don't seem to understand and I'd rather people not think we are in either of those kinds of relationships, but that's me. Other people in these relationships may feel differently and have different levels of comfort and confidence lol. My QPP and we each have our own wants and desires for other people... specifically fictional men for the most part. So sharing a bed is a nono and while we can share a room as we had to before- we respect each other's need for "alone time." Also snuggles and the like are human and mammalian nature, but society likes to just group it into two small boxes: young child/baby familial or romantic in nature. Which is weird when you think of our needs as a social animal or social mammal, it's not really healthy.

Anyway if you want to learn more, I suggest starting here:

Onto Tengen & His Wives

Anyway the POINT IS, in my head in tengen x y/n situations, tengen x sonas or tengen x other character but not in a poly way, I apply these types of feelings to. Hell I kind of do in canon as well, as for me the love and care he has for his wives is real, but I feel it more in a QPP way as I don't.... have any real vibes that tell me otherwise, regardless of them being canon. It's just how I vibe. I'm not against the relationship by any means as in aus not dealing with him as a main focus (these are private aus and my QPP and I are literally both Tengen simps and also ship him with Kyojuro), Tengen and his wives are very much are all in love with each other. So I'm not really against the actual ship or relationship. I do wish it was more fleshed out tho, I am overally more comfortable with the idea that everyone in the polycule love each other romantically and sexually in this case as otherwise it's uncomfortable for me. 😅 That's just how I like my Polyships.

With that in mind, I am comfortable with the idea of plantonic cuddle puddles, caring for each other, taking care of each other as long as it doesn't become romantic or sexual with the other women or between the trio and Tengen.

So... how do we begin to tackle this? Well look at some of the facts:

They were in an arranged marriage with prior relationships not being detailed whatsoever. Tengen didn't want to have 3 wives to use as tools as his ninja clan ruled. He wanted to save them from that fate as well.

While in canon they all did fall in love with Tengen there's many ways to take this relationship. They have some base level of care for each other be it friends, familial, QPP, romantically or so on.

Example 1:

One thing I like to do is ship the wives in their own polycule, but this is back in the day in Japan 🗾 so I sometimes apply the fact that with a divorce they all would be legally separated due to this, and Tengen whose relationship to them are more platonic, wouldn't do that to those dear to him. Meanwhile adding another wife is still more socially acceptable seemingly in this world albeit much isn't specified so we really just need to guess.

That is an idea I more so apply when reading fics rather than my own story creation.

Example 2:

A similar idea is that they all are in a way "trauma bonded", they went through hell and back together as ninja, and escaped from their clan, that isnt a simple or safe task when dealing with shinobi, ao them all joining the slayer corps makes sense. While they may not love each other romantically/sexually, they all love each other and are loyal to each other. You can take this ship the wives together or only two of them or find them partners outside of the group. Wanna ship Suma and Mitsuri or Makio and Giyu??? Go for it. They can join the family.

In the end...

I can kinda go on and on with tons of different examples, my point is, if possible, open your mind to these ideas, you can enjoy so much more of the fandom this way. Yeah there's no wives of wifeless fics and the like, but most people here are fine with being the 4th wife or an additional Husband or 4th significant other to Tengen. There's nothing wrong with that. But I see people get tense with that or annoyed and I can't help but feel this want to kind of bridge things if at all possible. There's ways you can enjoy many of these these fics, headcanons, scenarios, etc. without having to feel as though you have to be in an actual polycule if that's not your taste or thing.

End Statment

I am a NOBODY on this site, half of my small pool of followers are bots and the others mostly just followed be back/are moots??? I mostly like and reblog other people's things. My creations are mostly between my QPP and I and in our heads and random discord messages as just, we don't have the spoons to write or draw that stuff more often than not. 99% of it is entirely self indulgent lol. BUT there's a tiny chance this could help someone, y'know? Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll cause more problems. 😰😬 I'm not deep enough in any fandom to see drama and ship hate and the like. 😅 I'm more or less a fandom hermit in my own little corner or bubble. I am passionate about this series. I've been hyperfixating on it almost non stop for about a year now. 😅😂 I just want others to enjoy it as much as possible. As long as you're not being a bigot to others. 😌 So please don't think I'm trying to start crap, as long as what you ship is *legal* hint hint, nudge nudge. idgaf what you're into as long as you're not harming or harassing others lol.

Also getting these tangents out of my head makes it so my brain can settle down more lol ADHD is a pain in the ass at times.

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knifearo · 3 days

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I am a romance repulsed aro and I honestly never knew what a QPR really is. Or maybe I do have an idea, and the idea I have in mind isn't very favorable because to me it looks like a different flavor of 'aromantic people can date too!'

Can someone pls help me understand how this even works because i don't want to base my definition off from guessing what it means by observing what people make it out to be.

okay so as a nonpartnering aro i am going to preface this with the fact that i am ALSO definitely not an expert on qprs. i will offer you the wikipedia definition first:

Queerplatonic relationships (QPR) and queerplatonic partnerships (QPP) are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship. The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. Like romantic relationships, queerplatonic relationships are sometimes said to involve a deeper and more profound emotional connection than typical friendship.

personally i think my best understanding of the term is that it's a platonic (nonromantic) relationship that's been queered (in that it is a different kind of relationship from "typical" platonic relationships). this comes with all kinds of caveats for sure and like i was saying in that earlier post we're just not far enough in the popular discourse with some of our terms. platonic is not a term that encompasses all nonromantic relationships, and the wikipedia entry essentially saying that it's "more than friends" is part of a kind of rhetoric that a lot of aromantic people consider amatonormative. generally though! from what i understand. a queerplatonic relationship can be whatever you want it to be. another anon just said that "it doesn't go friendship -> QPR -> romantic relationship. they're all just……. relationships!!!!" which is a fantastic way to put it. a qpr is whatever two people who have a relationship that they think is best described as a qpr have. queerness often inherently defies labels etc. etc.

i know the idea of partnering specifically can feel like it's just following the conventions of amatonormativity and the expectation of pairing up with one other person. i would personally not label my relationships as qprs at this time in my life for that reason. what it comes down to is how people choose to describe their own experiences though! ultimately the queer people in qprs are not the ones making it "romance lite"; they are queer people in queer relationships. the people who make it feel like "romance lite" are the alloro people who ARE falsely equating it to "dating for aros". and i think we can just safely ignore those guys. or tell them to shut up. and go back to having queer relationships.

everyone please add on anything you feel like needs to be added/corrected about qprs!!! saying rn that i am NOT the expert and i defer to those of us who engage in qprs <2 hope this is still helpful though :)

#can make another post asking for people's definitions of qprs specifically as well!#that is maybe what this post should have been from the beginning. but i am cursed with can't shut up disease dfkgjsh #going through the tag for it might help you find some good explanations as well :)#VERY important to me that we as romance-repulsed/nonpartnering aros remain supportive of other aros #who do engage in things that are unpalatable to us.#an aro person doing something is never minimizing the aro experience! it's other people who are doing that!#working on identifying external rhetoric could be really helpful to us all honestly haha #talking #ask #qpr

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starsonmarsy · 2 months

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Out of curiosity for the polyask game, ❤️🤗🥰? Answering any number of them is fine

~ 🔄

❤️ When did you realize you were poly?

i have always realized i hhave a whole lot of love in my heart that can't be contained to only one person, but i wrote it off in my teenage years because i believed i was too jealous to ever be poly. like the thought of someone ever being with my partner at the time (hi @eloquent-kitty) made me feel possessive and threatened. but now that i have better control of my mental health (being highly medicated lol, and actually knowing my dx) i can explore in a much healthier manner. i still have my moments yk but i'm a lot better now than i was then

🤗 Have partners ever teamed up to surprise you with something special? What was it?

trying to rack my brain but i can't think of anything atm, will update later if i figure something out. it's been less than a year since i've gotten into my current polycule so idk yet

🥰 What is/what do you think would be poly-saturated for you?

personally i like my fats polyunsaturated, they're better for you

jokes aside, i had to google this to know what it means 💀

i think i'm rubbing up against polysaturated, like i could handle maybe one more secret third thing or partner and that's it. but even one more is pushing it. bpd and fps makes it harder for me to split my attention evenly, i think ideally i should be in a more mentally well place in life before i acquire another partner. but even in ideal conditions, i think 3 is my limit, 4 if there's someone particularly special. because beyond the 3 actual partners, there are qpps and secret third things and other stuff that don't require as much commitment but are still there

#asks.txt #🔄#ask games

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lordsooga · 9 months

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hit us with the . *thinks really hard* midzel, volga/ghirahim, ganghira, impa/zelda (whichever game you want), sidlink . no coherence between these pairs just whatever popped in my head i haven’t heard you about yet

Midzel: I do ship them, though they never really became my THING. So not a ship I've thought about a lot, but I DO know everyone who ships them is extremely right too. Also obviously two princesses from parallel worlds of light and dark who cannot be together is DELICIOUS.

volga/ghirahim: I've never played the original hyrule warriors so i dont know jack-shit about volga besides that he..... IS..... the dragon from OoT? But from the little I know about him and from what you've told me I think they'd absolutely hate each other. I cannot think of any conceivable reason they'd actually get together?? But it would be the worst relationship in the world. You're gonna have to, like, lock them in a box alone together and shake them. And then I think they'd come out hating each other even more.

I'll go ahead and put the rest of these under the cut:

ganghira: Ohhhhh baby. Being literally made as a weapon to be wielded and then meeting this guy who is.... a different man entirely from your master, but still have something of him inside of him. I love that. I"ll enjoy a cute ganghira fanwork. But I cannot see this being anywhere near healthy. But that doesn't mean I don't think they wouldn't work together in their fucked up way.

impa/zelda: Another sheet that isn't super full even though I think they'd be cute together. All the wholesome ships get pretty empty bingo sheets. I'll go with aoc zelda and impa for this one. They fucked up kind of Sheikah devotion to the crown isn't REALLY there in this game, but Impa would still clearly do anything to support her. Personally I like them together platonically or as qpps if anything.

sidlink: YEAH BABY SIDLINK BABY!!! dont let the empty sheet fool you, that shark is basically why i bought botw!!! and you know what, i still think they're adorable together. he's just big enthusiastic and supportive, how am i not supposed to love him. Link should have something in his life constantly hyping him up and supporting him. He's also irresistible to the royal zoras so. I mostly like them as just good, wholesome fun together.

#ask #ask meme #ask game #raymoohackery #hiiiii heehee

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blorbologist · 2 years

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in preparation for tonight's reunion! what are some of your hcs m9 post campaign? and what are you hoping to see in the two shot?

OHHHHHH god I'm so excited, I've got wine on standby! I don’t think my M9 HCs are too far out of the usual ones? Let's see what I can dig up

Not the M9 directly, but Astrid and Eadwulf live in a house a few doors down from Beauyasha. Either they're married or QPP, either way it's hilarious

I subscribe to Plank King Kingsley theory, I love it!

Caleb uses transmutation magic to spay/neuter the Rexxentrum cats because as much as he'd like to he can't take them all in and no cat should be born on the streets :c

I think at one point after a long discussion, Essek gets Transmorgified into some other kind of elf, or at least a very different looking drow, because the risks if he's found out are way too high. Sometime before Caleb dies they change him back. Veth is there for the first casting, given Essek helped develop this spell that got her body back and is now giving him a little more freedom to live his life, too.

As for hopes for the twoshot...

I! WANT! ESSEK! MY BLORBO MY EVIL PHD STUDENT MY GRAPE OF A FLOATING MAN.

I hope it's at least two years in the future, if not happening roughly when C3 is - to allow time for the Nein to be settled into their post-canon lives and healed a bit.

SOMEONE either expecting a kid or adopting one. Laura dropped the 'Vex is pregnant' bomb during Search for Bob so I wouldn't be surprised if she pulled something similar here, but could be someone else's turn. Veth included! Veth having another kid on the way would actually be a riot holy shit

Luc update! I want to know about his magic lessons and his crossbow usage.

Anything about the Apogee Solstice - does anyone in the Nein know about it? Do the entities they're connected to have an interest? Thinking mainly Ludinus Da'leth, Uk'otoa, Artagan, hell Essek might have thoughts on it.

Speaking of: Artagan insights into some Feywild bullshit!

Domestic Fjester! Domestic Beauyasha! Domestic Shadogast? Domestic Brenattos!

I hope we get more insight into Kingsley's personality! I wanna get a good feel for him.

I wanna know why Cad isn't coming, in-universe. Just gimme a reason, no big!

I'd love Jester and Beau to have a moment as besties, because I missed that late C2, though I understand if they don't go for it because of Beaujester drama remnants.

Is Yussa in trouble Again?

I wanna see Uk'otoa. Not just seal him away. Stab him in the eyeball.

Frumpkin sighting?

A very very minor thing, but if there's any Assembly lore tied to Delilah I'll go feral. Caleb. Caleb pull through for me. Gimme the deets on academic scandals.

This goes without saying, but I wanna say it anyways: I want the cast to have fun. I get so much enjoyment from seeing them have a riot - this is fundamentally their game and their characters and their story. My wants mean little to theirs - I hope they get everything they want out of it even if it’s not what the fandom wants and clearly have a blast.

#critical role #c2 #mighty nein #mighty nein reunion #campaign 2 #m9

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prismatoxic · 11 months

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this is going to be a very long and very personal post, but i've been thinking about it for a while. it's about my old FP i mention sometimes.

it's almost 4k words long, so. be prepared for that.

i got this question on retrospring a few days after paris blew up on me.

it is a very innocuous message. probably from a friend, maybe from a stranger; i won't know unless they tell me. it's the last question i ever answered on retrospring, though i have gotten harassment since that i did not answer, forcing me to shut off anonymous messages.

the exact timestamp is Sunday, May 29th. the last time paris messaged me was Tuesday, May 24th. i had to go into our old server to find that date. i don't have a good memory, but i also hate to look at anything from their old account. so, the message on retrospring: a seemingly insignificant event, but dated so close to the breakdown that is serves as a much more accessible reminder of how long it's been.

"about 1 year ago" is the immediately visible timestamp on the message.

2 years ago, paris was my best friend.

though, thinking about it, maybe that isn't true. it isn't what i called them. mikee is my best friend, and i consider jesse to be there as well. i have never wanted to dethrone them from that spot. that term is special to me. (see, now, why my earlier post mocked myself wanting to be everyone's best friend? i won't even use the title for more than 2 people.)

no, i called paris my "queerplatonic partner" or my "platonic soulmate". qpp, usually. in hindsight it is so blatantly clear that i was obsessed, that i was attached in such an unhealthy way; i did not recognize myself as having BPD at the time. so, in the end, paris was not my qpp, nor any manner of soulmate. they were my "FP", or Favorite Person: a BPD term i would say is akin to "hyperfixation", but on someone you personally know.

i don't want to openly pass judgement on paris here, because that's not why i'm writing this. they're long gone and goading people to be as upset as i am serves no purpose. however, i will say this: they encouraged my behavior. my obsession. i believed, in a sense, that the pedestal i had put them on was in some way parallel to the one they had me on.

there was no pedestal under me, though.

paris and i met sometime in September of 2020. potentially on the 15th, as that is when i created our roleplay server. it was in a proship fandom server for a website i used to moderate. (i don't know if that site is ever going to manage to get finished, now, but i still have hope.) having just gotten very into souyo, i was hunting for roleplay partners, and said as much in some channel or another. paris, at the time, was playing P4G for the very first time. we got to talking. i made our roleplay server, and for two years, we would only ever talk therein.

today, there are 77 threads in that server for different roleplay plots. some are very long; others, very short. i was (and am) unable to focus on any one thing for any real length of time, but paris was accommodating. they were happy to do new plots as i came up with them, and they pitched their own from time to time. most of them are souyo; a handful are for our bancho triplet au; there are some akeshus, and one or two banpegos. we came up with a lot of ideas. a lot of aus. sometimes we'd redo an idea; sometimes we'd branch off from something we'd done before.

we roleplayed every day. i knew their schedule and they knew mine. our responses were quick and snappy, and if we couldn't keep up, we'd talk about it. we talked A LOT. very rarely on the phone or VC, usually in text. they do not live in the US, but we exchanged numbers anyway. we talked so much and so often that it drowned a lot of my other relationships out; i can be very single-minded in my obsessions. i almost lost several people.

i almost lost the love of my life.

in the summer of 2021, paris was taking a trip to the united states to get vaccinated for Covid, and they made plans to stop and see multiple people. in between other plans, they made just enough time to see me for 3 days. they were seeing their older friends for much longer, but i didn't question it, i didn't worry. i was so sure that i was so special to paris. i trusted them so much that the fact that they refused to allow me to interact with their core friend group just bounced right off of me.

in retrospect? ouch.

the visit was fine. paris finally convinced me that i was allowed to be disabled, that i was allowed to rely on support like the electric carts at stores and stuff. they had clashed with devot in the past, but the two of them got along fine for the visit. i was so thrilled; my two most important people, getting along? what could be better? the three of us had lunch and went to ikea. then i hung out at paris's hotel the other two days.

even when they were visiting their other friends, we were talking near-constantly. at some point, my obsession reached a very unfortunate peak, and i decided that if i was that obsessed, clearly i was in love with them. they were (and are, presumably) polyamorous, and i thought maybe i was too.

this isn't a part i want to talk about very much, because it's humiliating and painful. i tried to negotiate an open relationship with devot, and as a result, i almost lost him entirely. it was a very hard time for us, and it made me realize that i loved him way more than i could ever love someone else, even paris. if pursuing paris meant i would lose devot, then i simply wouldn't pursue paris.

paris knew my intentions and knew my ultimate decision. however that made them feel, i can't say. i don't know.

you see, towards the tail end of their trip, they suffered a familial tragedy and their return home was delayed. (or maybe they did make it home, but not for very long? my memory is fuzzy and i absolutely do not want to comb through our server to find it.) their family was in the US and that's where they needed to be for a while. i don't want to go into more detail than that; it was a very personal time for them. we did not talk a lot during it. they said, "i can't carry you right now".

maybe that was a clue as to how they viewed our relationship. i don't know. i assured them i wasn't asking for that, that i could carry them, but all the same they needed their space and i gave it to them. i had permission to send messages with the understanding that there would be no response, so i did.

in lamenting my mental state during all this, jesse (you may recall him being a best friend) suggested to me that maybe i possibly, perhaps, had BPD. he explained it to me and may have also directed me to some sources. it was eye-opening. it forced me to confront my actions and alter my behavior in ways i never realized i needed to do. in terms of paris, however, it came too little, too late.

this part of the story i have told before; i mean, i've told it all before, but i think i was more descriptive at this point. as paris recovered from the tragedy and began returning to normal life, they did so increasingly without me.

conversations in our server were short and uneventful. they were not up to roleplay, which i understood; i searched for other ways for us to connect.

they abandoned their persona 4 twitter and made a new one. they claimed persona 4 had become a trigger. i don't know why, and they never explained. it seemed that the biggest connection we had was now in the past, but i was so deeply, wholeheartedly invested in our relationship that i didn't let it get me down... too much.

the thing about the decline of our relationship is that it was not all at once. it was an accumulation of things, increasingly large signs that they were done with me. the persona 4 abandonment was one of those signs. another, how they were publicly interacting with their older friends, but no longer with me. yet another; they got into no man's sky, but when i finally got my hands on a copy to play with them, they stopped playing. or maybe they just stopped posting about it.

they did not post in our server unless i prompted them first. they did speak in our server with our mutual friend priam, but... just to talk to priam. ask them for advice on the french language, mostly, for a novel they had started to write. anything i said was quickly glossed over (not by priam, though; priam and i are still friends and i love him dearly).

this went on for 7 months.

i know that figure because just before i purged my vent twitter, i went back to the very first post i'd made about the situation. i posted a lot about it... almost every day. i also cried almost every day. i was trying to take it in stride, at least publicly, but in private i was falling apart. paris, who used to like every post on my vent twitter to let me know they were reading them, had stopped doing so. they also never asked me about any of the posts, which they used to do. at some point i figured they had most likely muted my account.

it doesn't feel like it was 7 months. it feels like it was much shorter. how could i have been in so much emotional pain for 7 whole months? i know i was hiding it from everyone as best i could, i didn't even tell my therapist; how could i have done so for so long? but my vent twitter proved the timeline. 7 months.

devot's not blind, of course. he knew something was up. i very rarely told him anything about paris, a point of contention between us. i knew he didn't like them. i didn't want to make it worse. however, i am nothing if not a paper-thin pane of glass when it comes to the phrase, "are you okay?", and eventually i had to tell him why i was so depressed.

he didn't know how to help. the only thing he could do was provide me with the matches; i had to burn the bridge myself.

he told me, early on in my relationship with paris, that they had told him something. (i didn't know they'd spoken outside of my personal server at all.) they told him that my obsession with them wouldn't last, that eventually i would find another interest and move on.

it was a gut-punch. our relationship meant everything to me, but they only saw me as an obsessed little fanboy, at least at the time. and it felt ironic, because they had moved on from me, not the other way around.

paris was (and presumably is) very serious about the privacy of 1 on 1 conversations. they never ever divulged things that happened between them and someone else that seemed in any way "personal." they expected this of others, as well; they told devot what they said in confidence. of course, his loyalties lie with me and absolutely not with them, so he told me anyway.

now, let's step back, for a moment. i want to try and paint a picture of what it was like being in my shoes.

i trusted paris. everything they had ever said to me was taken at face-value and believed. they had proven to me (or so i thought) that they always spoke their mind, were honest, and cared about me very deeply. i trusted them to tell me if something was wrong. in those 7 months, i asked them directly if anything was bad between us. they assured me we were fine. all the while, i knew they were hanging out with their older (real?) friends and generally ignoring me. i knew they had come to loathe the media that brought us together. i knew that they didn't want to play games with me, even their supposed favorite game.

i knew that they were shutting me out.

but paris never communicated this. they were visibly moving on without me, but i trusted them so much that i willfully turned a blind eye to it, waiting for the day they'd be "ready" to talk to me again. then devot told me about what they'd said, and finally, i started to split.

splitting is another BPD term, though it has its uses in general psychology as well. it is primarily a defense mechanism, mostly against The Big BPD Fear, abandonment. splitting is to see a situation and black and white and take a side. there was no longer nuance to the situation; there was paris is my friend, or paris is my enemy.

i was reluctant to let it happen. i resisted it. splitting and my natural empathy are extremely at odds with one another; i tried to convince my brain that paris was still my friend, that there were reasons for all of this. these were conscious thoughts, but the split was not a conscious choice.

i resented paris. either they apologized to me, and fixed things, or they didn't and that was that, it was over. very new to the concept that these were unproductive thoughts, i didn't know how to combat them.

i made a tweet on my vent twitter.

as i said earlier, i had come to assume that paris had simply muted my vent twitter; they had gone through so much, clearly they couldn't carry me, as they said... so i made a vague tweet that wasn't really vague, assuming they probably wouldn't see it anyway.

to paraphrase, as the tweet no longer exists: "you said once that i would get bored of you and move on, but you're the one who moved on from me"

they had not muted my twitter, they were just ignoring it. i know this because they finally messaged me first, and it was about that tweet.

the first volley of messages, sent in our roleplay server, was very clipped but mostly civil. they were disappointed in me for resorting to such a low tactic as to post a passive aggressive tweet instead of coming to them about my concerns.

(i had been having no luck getting them to talk to me; our last exchange in that server was nearly a month prior and lasted about 6 messages. perhaps you can imagine why i didn't think taking my concerns to them would work.)

i was not present when they sent these messages, and didn't get to say anything before they left the server. i did return to my computer not long after, however, and realized, with equal parts regret and relief, that it was over.

then they dm'd me, something they had not done since we very first started talking.

the dms were vicious. they had only gotten angrier after sending the first wave of messages and wanted me to know. devot had betrayed them by telling me what they said, and i betrayed them by repeating it on my vent.

i watched each message roll in, one after the other, numb. i considered replying. i never did.

they called me selfish. hungry for attention. everything was always about me. they said all that happened was they stopped initiating contact, and i had the nerve to claim it was abandonment? in the server, they said they expected me to tell them if i had an issue with them. in the dms, they professed to feelings they had never told me they had towards me.

they said they didn't know what they were even trying to accomplish, that i wouldn't even care. the messages stopped.

their twitter was abandoned; in time, their discord was as well. they never blocked me, simply... vanished. their friend list was wiped clean, their icon blacked out. i think it only didn't happen immediately because they needed to retract their presence from everything they modded and collaborated on. why not delete the discord? i don't know. i'll never know.

it's still there, black icon, no friends, no profile. our exchanges are intact. every other account i ever knew them to have is abandoned as well. if i had to guess, they don't go by "paris" anymore. they told me they had changed before, that "paris" was the longest-running identity they had. they loved being "paris". i'm sorry i ruined it, genuinely.

so, May 24th, 2022. a Tuesday; devot would have been off work. i don't remember if i cried. i think i was just sort of bitterly relieved. i think i said "good riddance" on my vent, after blocking their accounts.

that's the thing about defense mechanisms, i guess. they can work. yet, as time passed, the full weight of it all came bearing down on me. not just the end, but every part before it: the grief of it all, of losing paris, piece by piece until there was nothing left. them claiming that the "only thing" they had done was stop engaging with me first was laughable, but maybe to them, that really was the truth. i said it before: it was an accumulation of things. straws on the camel's back, you know how it goes.

it was never just about the roleplaying, or even the conversations. i tried so hard, for so long, to find something else we could do. i trusted them when they said we were fine. i trusted them when they told me they loved me. i trusted them in every way i could trust a person.

paris said once that they didn't believe in empathy. they said it was essentially "mind reading", that there was no way to know how another person was feeling, so how could you know you felt the same? hyper-empathetic, i stayed quiet. they were smarter than me, and more worldly than me; they probably knew better.

"about 1 year ago," says retrospring. i remember when it said only days. when it said a month. when it said 7 months. (that might be when i made my last post on the subject.)

shortly before that day, i finally told my therapist what was happening. it was my very last appointment with him; i'd been seeing him for 4 years. he was moving onto a private practice and could no longer take my insurance.

i said it had all began about a year after paris and i met, and he posited a theory: perhaps it was the honeymoon phase. those tend to last about a year, he said. maybe they had simply gotten bored. he did not say it unkindly (he was very good at his job, and i trusted him very much), but it did strike a chord in me. i thought maybe it was too simple an explanation, though, and after all, we were qpps. how could they just get bored?

i don't think we were qpps at that point. (arguably, we never were, but as a label we shared, i think they had agreed on it at least for a while.)

the explosion a scant few days later did not feel like boredom, it felt like vitriol. like resentment. it felt like they had wanted to say those things for a long time. but it had been 7 months since the possible end of this "honeymoon phase," so maybe. i guess i'll never know.

i have become very bad at keeping up with roleplay. even if it's the same short style, or even if they let me switch between ideas constantly. even if it's souyo. even if they're my friend. even if i'm having a great time. at some point, the mental block rises up, and even though i'm not thinking about paris, i know that's where it came from. devot is the only one largely immune to this effect; we still roleplay constantly, though i do at times fall into slumps even so.

i keep trying; i love to roleplay. it's my favorite hobby. but every time i try, it stops dead by my own hand. even if i'm actively trying to prevent it.

...but otherwise, i think i'm doing better.

my approach to relationships is different. i know what i'm capable of, if i get carried away. i'm careful, and i try to keep track of my emotions about a person. i also trust people a lot less, and fear abandonment a lot more, but i'm aware of it and trying to do something about it.

devot and i are doing much better; he doesn't have to compete with anyone anymore. i have a lot more time and emotional energy for him. i love him very much, and i'm so grateful he stuck with me. i'd be nowhere without him.

the roleplay server i made for myself and paris sits at the very bottom of my server list, tucked into a folder with the server we shared with priam. i don't want to lose the memories, but i never even look at them, so it probably doesn't matter either way. maybe someday i'll use some of those old ideas. i already did, with one; one of our roleplays was the basis for my oc nate, who i made well after paris was gone.

i do not ever want to see or speak to paris again. luckily, the feeling is most certainly mutual.

tomorrow, in about 12 hours, i will be speaking to my new therapist. he is the second i have had since the one i had for 4 years, and the first since then that i actually think i mesh well with. i think i'll tell him all of this. hell, i might even read the post to him. we'll see.

is there a point to all of this? kind of. mostly it's for me, a retrospective of what happened. it's also just informative for the people closest to me who i have likely not told everything in this much detail. if you read it and get something out of it, that's great.

it's been "about 1 year," according to retrospring. i think i like that metric better than the exact timestamps of paris's final messages to me that discord gives. the era of "tox and paris" burned bright and burned hard, and died out very quickly. it's probably for the best. i am healing, and i don't know if i'd have ever gotten better if they kept me around. there is a long way to go, but... i have hope, honestly. i think i'll be okay.

#tox.txt #this is wildly personal i'm not kidding. you don't have to read it if you're not interested #it's about BPD and obsession and grief and i'm really only posting it publicly bc like...#idk man i want it to be somewhere i can share i guess. this one doesn't go into the void #tagging so i can find it later...#The Paris Saga

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multi-lefaiye · 2 years

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i am easily coerced give me tftgs for 001

hi peach hello thank you for indulging me ASDFJKL; <33

Favorite character: Jack Townsend ❤ the most special guy in the world Least Favorite character: Calvin Ambrose tbh,,,, every other character has at least Something redeeming or interesting about them. Not him tho 5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): OH BOY LET'S GO!! Jack/Jerry (jackerry) Jack/Antonio (jantonio) Jack/Spencer (jencer) Antonio/Jerry (idk if there's a name for this one tbh-) Amelia/Rosa (also don't know if there's a name for this one but it's cute) Character I find most attractive: ,,,,, probably Spencer Middleton,,,, ngl,,,, I think he's neat Character I would marry: Jerry!!!! He'd treat me right ❤ Character I would be best friends with: I wanna be best friends with Jack and hug him A random thought: The shapeshifter arc/Christmas special in the original creepypasta is, in my opinion, a genuine masterpiece of horror and it only gets better in the actual books. An unpopular opinion: I don't know if this is really an unpopular opinion or anything but every day I get closer to becoming an actual Spencer Middleton apologist just b/c I think the way aspects of his character are handled in the books is uh. Kinda clumsy at best. My Canon OTP: Uhhh I'm not super into the canon pairings in general but. Jack and Sabine, I guess!!!! Their relationship seems like it was super sweet and sad and I wish they could've had a happy ending. My Non-canon OTP: DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE ASDJFKL;. Okay. It's a three-way tie between jackerry, jantonio, and jencer probably asdfjk;l. They're all special to me in different ways. Most Badass Character: The shapeshifter in volume two. I'm obsessed with her (also I use she/her for this character b/c I headcanon her as transfem) Most Epic Villain: Spencer is such a fascinating character and villain to me and I love him so dearly. Pairing I am not a fan of: Honestly,,, I don't like pairing Amelia and Jack together in any kind of non-platonic sense. Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I have a lot of hot takes about Spencer and how he's written but I won't go into those here <3 Favourite Friendship: JACK AND JERRY!!!! Their friendship brings me joy <3 Same also for Jack and Rosa, because I love those two as best friends/qpps <33 Character I most identify with: As the local Jack Townsend kinnie, I have to say Jack. Character I wish I could be: I do kinda wish I could be Jerry, if that makes sense. I just want to have his confidence,,

#pechebeche #talk to the bunnykitty #ask game #thanks ASDFJKL;#i love tftgs so much <3 even if i avoid the rest of the tiny ass fandom for the most part #tales from the gas station #not gonna tag the characters but anyway <3 #i love them all <3

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catspittle · 10 months

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Relationships - most relevant, main canon.

Hugo Strange [Wong, Honghui] - current lover in both a platonic and sexual sense, and has been for the past 30-some years. They've had uhhh 4 kids, I believe it was? Met while being diversity hires at Arkham, instantly hit it off because they are assholes and are wont to do what assholes usually do. Technically married, they got a civil partnership agreement forever ago but their relationship is fairly open. Katana [Toro, Tatsu] - qpp. Brought together by a chance encounter [and by that I mean Amanda Waller kidnapping one of them], it's difficult to describe Tatsu with words. She's everything to him. He wouldn't have it any other way. They've known each other throughout lifetimes. Kite-Man [Charles, "Charlie, Chuck" Brown] - qpp. Who would have ever thought that getting accidentally shipped to Arkham Asylum instead of Blackgate would land you with a forever friend? And yet, he's so much more than a friend; "friend" is nowhere near enough of a word. Fathered 2 of Crane's children. The Thinker [Gaius Grieves] - Another clown from his Suicide Squad days. Gaius was nothing more than a fun fling, something to take the edge off the hunger that gnaws at every fiber of Crane's being; they both knew that. Still, they're some semblance of friends? Honestly though, Gaius has no one else. Killer Frost [Caitlin Snow] - adoptive daughter. Also met while serving on the Suicide Squad, nearly sacrificed his own life for her several times and would gladly do it again. Anything pertaining to different verses will be put in separate posts.

#Where there's smoke there's fire - HEADCANONS #bloglore #not tagging w character tags

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oscalesoffeeling · 2 years

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#/vent #like i'd love to be with a real person and love them and marry them and all the things #but i don't want that more than i want my f/os lol #and idk i feel bad. i wanna get married fr irl but to my f/os ya know. i just wish they were real.#and i feel kinda pressured into marrying irl bc both of my parents are physically ill and the clock is ticking kinda? like they're gonna ea #ch live another 20 or so years which is a lot of time but it still doesn't feel like enough for me to find someone irl i'd be 'content'#with. i just want my dad to walk me down the aisle n he's probably gonna die before my mother unfortunately #(idc if she's there but yes <3 i want her to maybe sorts come and also she'd get upset #if i didn't let her come to my wedding rip) so yeah :(#but i don't wanna marry anyone else besides my f/os in part bc they love me back and idk.#i feel so unlovable. like i don't think i could ever find someone who's really in love with me and wants to marry me besides my friends #but that's different. it's platonic ya know and while i'd love to have a qpp. idk It's Different.#it's not the same to me. i want to be with not only people who love me platonically but also people who love me romantically and my life #would feel empty without both #i know i'm only sixteen and shouldn't be worrying about this but i have two other reasons i feel personally pressured to marry lmao #number one is that it'd be a great way to escape living with my mother and Soon at that. and two i crave financial stability #which is something i do not feel i have with her that i think marriage could fix maybe.#like i could golddig kinda. i know that sounds silly but i literally need financial stability or i'll crack.#i wanna be able to live comfortably g-ddamn it. away from her. if i don't live her and can't live with my dad then i'm #gonna be forced to rely on something Anything for stability. my mother has an iron grip around me.#i don't want to rely on her much longer and i want to do so comfortably #i'd be fine marrying just about anyone if they were better than my mom lmao #but at the same time.#if only my f/os were real. they'd be able to take me away from all this.#oh i sound horrible right? fuck. i almost feel like i'm taking my wedding away from others #more so than myself. i'm almost fine the way i am but i feel like everyone will be disappointed when i don't get married :(#like i'm fine with just my f/os like i wish they were real more than anything else but i'm content enough with imagining them that i don't #want anyone else.#parents tw #emotional abuse tw

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aro-culture-is · 3 years

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Hi!! this isn’t a submission but it’s a question about QPRs and ages. I’m in a QPR and I wanna ask someone else that I know if she also wants to be my QPP as well (I’m gonna ask my current QPP if he’s ok with me having another QPP first tho since y’know consent is important) but the problem is : The person I wanna ask if she wants to be my QPP is 17 and I’m 15 and I’m worried that that’s somehow gonna cause a problem. She’ll be 18 in May which is next year and I’m gonna be 16 in the upcoming December aka this year. Is a 2 year age gap in a QPR bad? Idk what to do

hi,

the thing I want to start with here is that there is no magical number of ages-that-shouldn't-be-together. two of my friends married the other week - one is my age, 21, and the other 24. They got together when the younger was 18 and the older 21. They're in a healthy relationship. At the same time, I was in a relationship with someone who was 2 years older than me. It wasn't healthy, and eventually I ended it.

What matters isn't exactly age. It's power. If this qpr doesn't seem to be going well, has red flags, anything of that like, do you think this person would respect you breaking it off? If it goes long distance because she graduates, do you feel like you'll have enough power to be listened to while negotiating long distance? And, most importantly, Do you have a support network outside of this person?

I really want to emphasize this last question. I grew up in a toxic environment. I won't get into the details, but when I initially tried out dating, I thought I knew all of this. I thought, oh, if I see toxic behavior I'll just dip right out! I didn't anticipate that I had been conditioned to accept poor treatment, especially if the other person was hurting too. Even if they weren't managing their hurt, and maybe directing it at me, or making it something I had to fix.

Support networks of friends outside of that person, especially who didn't know or hang with that person, were who got me out of that each time. Have an external support network if you plan to get into a relationship and you're in any way worried. Also, relationships require communication - you can talk about this stuff in a good relationship! If you try to talk about it and get shut down, feel like you're being humored and get something like "don't worry about it", or anything like that? That's a BIG red flag.

Most toxic relationships have a power imbalance. Age can be a contributing factor to that. It doesn't automatically equal unbalance. I know a loving adult couple with a ten year age gap, and honestly? I've never seen anything but a beneficial relationship there. I've also known people of the same age have incredibly toxic relationships.

I don't know you. I don't know her. All I can ask is for you to maintain a social life outside of her, with people you trust. If they are worried about red flags, do think for yourself, but still listen.

Good luck, however it goes!

- mod kee

#not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod kee #question #qpr #idk how not to sound like. incredibly paranoid about relationships #but when i say i've been in some toxic ones whooo boy do i mean it #i can't remember a whole ass half hour chunk of one break up cause it was that traumatic #all i recall is that the general vibe was INTENSE gaslighting and overall emotional abuse tactics #and i mean like. literal gaslighting. not the bullshit meme diluting an important word for abuse survivors :)#toxic relationship tw #abuse tw

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gossip-girl-of-middleearth · 3 years

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Imagine the Fellowship comforting you, as you reveal your Aro/Ace identity to them

Requested by: @a-dragon-under-the-stars

I was wondering if you could write a gen or maybe qpp (x reader) oneshot where the reader is aroace and they're feeling unaccepted. The fellowship helps the reader then?

AN: I researched the topic, to ensure I got it right, and started relating a little too much, and now I’m questioning my identity. Alas! Enjoy the product of head scratching, and muttering ‘is it an emotional attachment thing, or is this me too??’

‘Either come back with a husband, or don’t come back at all’ – the last thing your mother had said to you, before you’d set out on the Fellowship’s journey.

Though you resented the idea greatly, you knew better than to argue with your mother. Of course, this left you at wrath with yourself. Here you were, travelling with those you’d rather call friends, but were instead sorting through them – as potential suitors, no less!

There were many feasible candidates, and at least two royals in your company. Your mother had placed great emphasis on that particular fact, but you knew she’d be happy either way, so long as you returned home with a lifelong partner.

However, as mentioned before, you found yourself rather at war, with no one but your own mind – and heart.

You see, that was just the thing – your heart cared not for what your mind thought. It had no attraction to any of the males in your presence, and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why!

They were all so handsome, and single! Even the ranger, Aragorn, no longer had ties to that Elven lady from Rivendell.

Legolas, the prince, was high on your radar. He had flowing blonde locks, a tall frame and a charming smile. Your mother would be very proud, if you returned home with him linked through your arm.

Of course, then there were the two human men. Boromir and Aragorn were both very similar in heart and spirit, and you knew for sure they’d make wonderful husbands.

Gimli the Dwarf made you chuckle, but you knew he had great social standing, within his own culture.

The Hobbits were last on your list, but they were most agreeable, nonetheless. Frodo, Merry and Pippin, the three cousins, allegedly stood very high in their society, back in the Shire.

Gandalf also travelled with you, but you halted your thoughts, before anything else could be birthed within your mind.

So many great males you travelled with, and yet, you had no hope of romancing them – it simply wasn’t in you to accomplish.

You felt at unease for days, and the Fellowship soon noticed. Your stomach churned and churned, as you wondered how your mother would react, to you returning home without one of them. The other half of you, was restless over the idea of actually returning home with one of them. You would be miserable, forcing both your heart and body to do things it had no interest in.

You felt incomplete, in a way, as if when your soul was crafted, such finite details were neglected. How would you ever honour your family tree, if you couldn’t carry on the ancestral legacy?

It was one big mess – one your newly found friends wished to help you with.

You sat around the campfire, with your head in your hands. The males all glanced between one another, as they revered you in concern.

You thought you had been discreet in your troubled antics, but apparently, at the gentle calling of Aragorn’s voice, you had not been.

“Y/n?” Aragorn called, stoking the fire, as he glanced at you sideways. “Are you okay? Is everything alright?”

Aware that tears were in your eyes, and had been running down your cheeks, you lifted your head. You sniffled loudly, shocking both yourself, and your friends.

“I’m fine,” you lied, wiping at your nose. “Thank you for asking.”

“Clearly not,” Legolas huffed, creasing his brows at you. “It doesn’t take Elven eyes to observe your saddened state.”

“Aye, we are your friends,” Gimli promised, slurping at his stew. “If you can’t tell us, then who can you tell?”

You lifted your head more, and knitted your own brows at the group. They gave you their undivided attention, and some even shuffled in their seats, as to better pay attention to you.

Their endearment warmed your heart, and you couldn’t help but feel it swell three times bigger in response. You even offered your own smile, as their sincerity was just too lovely.

Sighing, you averted your eyes to the ground, and replied. Your voice was small, and barely above a mumble. However, they had all heard you.

“I don’t want to marry any of you,” you said sheepishly.

Silence ensued around the camp, as the boys all looked between one another. Who among them had desired to court you, so much so that they had asked for your hand in marriage? Worse yet, why would you taunt them so cruelly, as to announce said rejection in everyone’s presence?

“Did…one of us…ask you, for your hand?” Boromir slowly said, glancing at the Hobbits and Legolas – whom he assumed were the most viable candidates.

You cringed deeply, for you quickly realized that you’d have to reveal your mother’s ulterior motives.

“Not exactly,” you winced. “I don’t know how to say this, without coming across as scheming, but…my mother…she told me to marry one of you.”

Silence ensued again, and you kept your eyes on the ground. That is, until Pippin chirped aloud.

“I’ll marry you!” he offered, grinning brightly. “Our children would be rather tall, that way!”

“That’s just the thing,” you huffed, rolling your eyes – amused nonetheless. “I don’t think I want any of that.”

“How so?” Aragorn gently asked, looking at you fully, as he continued meddling with the fire.

“Well,” you swallowed your nerves, “I know what tags along with marriage, and relationships, and I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but…I don’t feel inclined towards any of it? I don’t know, I’m just not interested? It’s hard to explain, but forcing those kind of things feels wrong somehow…am I just crazy?”

“Absolutely not,” Frodo promised – smiling, and nodding once in your direction. “I know so, because I’m the exact same.”

“What?” you incredulously asked, gaping across at the Hobbit.

“I feel the same as you,” he repeated. “I too do not have any interest in romance, or the things that ensue afterwards…nor did my uncle, for that matter.”

The Hobbit blushed at his own innuendo, regarding what ensures after marriage. He looked away, with a clearing of his throat.

Legolas’ brows were raised, and he pursed his lips to the side. ‘Can’t relate’, the young Elf thought. Boromir and Aragorn merely only nodded in understanding, as they mulled over both yours and the Hobbit’s admittance.

“I too, will jump on this bandwagon,” Gandalf piped up, having been sat and smoking against a tree the whole time. “It might be because I am a Maia, but even in my Middle-earth form, I do not crave such relations. If you’re crazy, or incomplete, then so am I – and I was made in Eru’s image.”

You suddenly perked up at the wizard’s words, and offered him an eye-squinting smile.

“Doesn’t seem that weird to me,” Gimli mused, shrugging his shoulders. “I know a few Dwarves who felt the same – Thorin, for one. At least, that’s what my father says.”

“It seems the rest of us are in the minority,” Aragorn smiled, glancing between the other Hobbits, Legolas and Boromir. “I wouldn’t fret at all, Y/n. It all seems perfectly natural to me. And regarding your mother, well…if her words ever cause doubt in your heart, remember ours instead; you are valid – just as valid as both Gandalf, and Frodo.”

You steadily beamed brightly, and found tears warming your eyes again. However, this time, they were out of the joy lighting up in your heart.

“Thank you, guys,” you said, nodding around at all of them. “I’m glad I have you all.”

#lotr imagine #lord of the rings #lotrdaily #lotr movies #the hobbit #legolas #hobbit #lotr fanfic #lotr x reader #fellowship x reader #aro #ace #hobbit x reader #lord of the rings x reader

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therapizing-to-the-void · 3 years

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I've been thinking about this scene a lot. One of my favorite moments from Picard was when Soji told him that Data loved him. It was something Picard couldn't tell for himself, but hearing it from Soji, who had Data as part of her, answered that question for him. Lately, I've been thinking about a different line, though one that very much relates.

"Data's capacity for expressing and processing emotion was limited. I suppose we had that in common."

This is why Picard couldn't tell if Data loved him, and why when Soji asked if he loved Data, his answer was, "Yes, in my way."

There are a lot of different kinds of love. Some are emotional, some are not. Data wasn't capable of feeling emotion in the human way, but he did love things. Picard wasn't great with emotions, but he did love his crew, and that was clear by how he treated them.

I've been struggling with my own emotions lately. There are many reasons why. I had a bit of a mental health crisis a few months ago, driven by the emotions of anxiety and trauma and grief and empathetic heartbreak. Farther back than that but continuing into the present, I've been making friends with several people, and my capacity for processing and expressing those emotions is limited. Just before the mental health crisis I created and played a semi-self-insert who very much embodied my RSD, and I also wrote a fic about them that rather highlighted the RSD. Sometime later I realized that all of those feelings could, in fact, be summed up by RSD and associated trauma. I knew about RSD and that I had it before, I just hadn't quite connected the concept to that trauma. That character is back, and I'm thinking about them again, and how they're going to deal with their prior relationship with another character, because like me, their capacity for expressing and processing emotion is limited. Then I was thinking about that scene from Picard for whatever reason (I love the last line, I think about it a lot). More friendship things happened but whether because I've been severely sleep deprived for months or because I just Can't, I haven't been able to process them. I started listening to a new song and some of the repeated notes make me feel sad but in a very good way, and I don't know why. The local bike shop said I can't bring my bike in anymore because it's too hard to work on (they broke it -.-), which triggered my RSD.

youtube

I listened to this in podcast form a few weeks? ago, and watched it in video form today. "[People] die, and I can't stop them." The character I created, played, wrote about, and will soon be playing again tried to protect people, and failed. Then they died themself, and that broke another character's heart. That in turn broke mine. It was rather a theme for that story, and it's also something I feel deeply myself. I want more than anything to save lives, but people die, and I can't stop them.

Later in the same quote is the line, "I am in love with the world." I know I love the world. I don't know if I'm in love with it. I am certainly in love with parts of it, though. My reincarnated character is established to be in love with the Woods. It's a direct parallel to how I feel about forests. For the character's last incarnation, I know they loved another character. I don't think they were in love with them. Maybe they would have been, eventually, if they hadn't died. But as it was, they simply loved them. They were very confused about how they felt about the other character, which was in large part because I the player was like "I see chemistry but am not projecting any particular feelings so *shrug*," but also because they as a semi-self-insert of me did not know where the lines were between friends and qpps and platonic attraction and alterous attraction and affection and caring and different kinds of love. This is confusion I also experience. In some cases, I don't think those lines exist. And in many ways, I don't think it matters. If you like someone you like someone, and if you love someone, that is enough.

That said, it is bothering me that I can't seem to access, process, or express a lot of my own emotions. And by "my own," I don't necessarily mean one person's. I've been speaking largely as one particular headmate, but sometimes as two, and the various emotions I am having trouble processing could belong to and be being blocked by anyone. I can't access my own emotions half the time, which leaves me feeling like I don't know what I truly feel, and so I don't know what I want. I don't know if I have the emotional range of a teaspoon or I feel everything far too intensely. Somehow it seems to be both.

Earlier in that video, someone says they seem to be writing their own life story, but because they're a novelist, it's all in code. In the same way, I only seem to be able to access, process, and express emotions about humanoids via fiction. A character's heart breaks and so does mine. A real person's heart breaks and not only do I feel nothing, I don't understand. I can't conceptualize it. All I know is that it's bad. I don't know how bad.

I love affection between characters. I practically live for it. Affection directed towards me makes me panic. I don't know why. I like having friends. I want people to like me and care about me and, in essence, hold affection for me. I'm constantly looking for validation that it's there. But when it's directly expressed, I panic. I don't know why.

I want to figure things out. But lately I've been too tired. I desperately need more sleep, and then I can think about all of this more.

- s/j

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