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chaoticbardlady99 · 5 months

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She’s my Religion- Part 3: Everyone Wants to Have Their Taste (Astarion x F! Reader)

Synopsis- You and Astarion don’t see eye to eye about him ascending. Cazador kidnaps you to lure Astarion to the palace. Astarion realizes that more powerful vampires may not be capable of love.

CW: Violence, non-descriptive mentions of gore, mentions of SA, threats of SA, mentions of suicidal ideation

I feel so gross cause I made myself sob while editing this.

*picture belongs to @clowndroids

It had quite literally only been two hours since Pale Petras had kidnapped you. You were having a drink with Karlach after your fight with Astarion.

Astarion finally broke you and you gave your opinion on the Rite of Profane Ascension- he was not thrilled with your opinion to say the least.

“Astarion! I don’t even want to marry a fucking Master Vampire!” You had screamed after he had gotten pissed at you for saying you didn’t think he should ascend, “not only that- I will lose you entirely. You will no longer be anything, but fucking Mephistopheles’ vessel to what he pleases with! I can’t be with you if… if you ascend- I can’t sit back and let you torture me for eternity or watch you fade away.”

“Well-I guess we’re done then.”

You had watched him walk off miserably- your heart shattered into a million pieces. Karlach consoled you at the bar.

You should have tried to be calmer, maybe it wouldn’t have resulted in a break up.

You had begun to not feel well so you went back to your shared room with Astarion.

Astarion was out hunting so that he could be at his best for the fight with Cazador tomorrow- that gives you plenty of time to move your stuff into another room.

You are sniffling as another uncomfortable wave of nausea and exhaustion overwhelms you and then you collapse. You hear footsteps walking towards you- hoping it might be someone friendly. You thought how incredibly inconvenient timing it would be if the Cult of the Absolute was coming to kidnap you.

Except it wasn’t an Absolute Cultist or a friendly face- it had been Pale fucking Petras.

You woke up in what you assume is the Kennels- Cazador leering down at you like he’d caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to do.

Oh and you had. You had given yourself to Astarion- let yourself be “ruined.”

Every lash of the flail against your bare skin feels even more numb and painful than the last- you are barely conscious by the time Cazador decides he’s done and you are “purified”.

“What a shame- I would have liked your skin to remain porcelain and perfect before we have to consummate our marriage,” Cazador feigns sadness, “but I do suppose you have time to heal- a few hours, give or take. Dalyria- please help my beautiful, crimson colored bride clean up a little bit, leave the majority of the blood- it smells delectable.”

Cazador begins to leave and then turns around to say one last thing, “And do get her into her wedding dress. I have a homecoming to prepare for my prodigal son and I’m sure he’d love to wish us eternal happiness, my Love.”

The smile he gave you made your entire body shake with fear. He kidnapped you to force Astarion’s hand. You hope that Astarion stays out all night like he occasionally does when he hunts pissed off.

You would much rather he be prepared to fight and feel confident than rush head first into a battle because you are in danger. Or worse- maybe he wouldn’t care at all. He did break up with you.

You know the consequences if Astarion doesn’t show up quickly- Cazador is going to marry you, violate you, and then turn you into his spawn. Cazador told you that, by the time he is done completing the ritual, you should be ready to be his obedient consort.

Astarion would die knowing you were damned to an eternity of suffering at Cazador’s hands- whether he got there in time or not was inconsequential to Cazador- either would make Astarion crumble (despite telling him that he had quite literally dumped you not even an hour or two earlier).

You asked him how stupid he is considering he revealed his whole plan to you before you had even been there 30 minutes (he knows about the tadpole)- he bashed your head into the wall two times. Hard.

“Better?” He had said, roughly grabbing your hair and making you look up at him.

You listen for his footsteps and hold back the painful, strained sobs that rattle your broken rib cage. Your head is throbbing and your body is aching- every piece of skin cut up in some way or another besides your face. That needed to be “protected” according to Cazador.

You don’t remember when Dalyria gently helped you up off the ground and provided you with awkward, but soothing words. You cried as she began getting you ready for your impending doom. She washed your hair with care and despite what Cazador said, she made sure the majority of your blood was cleaned up and the wounds were safe from infection.

“He’ll get here in time,” Dalyria whispers, “Astarion won’t let this happen to you- he adores you far too much.”

“Doubtful,” You sniff, “and anyway, I don’t want him to make any rash decisions.”

“Right now, Tav?” Dalyria looks at you with sorrow, putting makeup on your cheeks “rash decisions is what is going to save you.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion is nervous while heading back to Elfsong Tavern- he had a bear for his meal and he is eager to see you. While he was out hunting, he realized that you had a lot of very valid points. In what world could he ask you to become his thrall when Astarion knows how Spawns suffer at the hands of their master’s. The other point that stuck with him was when you said you would lose him. Astarion can acknowledge those points- he is sure he can even reassure you. Cazador never let anyone touch you nor did he ever lay a finger on you- not all Vampire Lords are evil and abusive. Astarion will be wonderful to you.

Except, when he gets to your shared room to talk- you are gone and the only evidence of you being there is a blood stain on the floor and your supplies scattered every which way.

Astarion is frozen and he runs to Karlach and Shadowheart’s room- hoping you are maybe there and just had a minor cut that needed healing. Karlach informs him you had gone back to your shared room when you stopped feeling well.

Once all the pieces were put together- everyone was sprinting out the door towards the Crimson Palace. It had been two whole hours since anyone last saw you. Astarion can’t imagine that Cazador would actually hurt you- he’s too possessive of you.

Astarion feels sick to his stomach, enraged, and terrified all at the same time.

Astarion isn’t sure he believes in any of the Gods, but he is begging to any that will listen to him that you are okay- unharmed.

************************************

Cazador holding you up by your hair, tears streaming down your face in a blood stained revealing white wedding dress is an image that will forever be burnt into Astarion’s brain. Cazador has mutilated your skin.

Astarion and your other companions had ran in right as Cazador was cutting into you again- yelling at Dalyria that she did this to you, if she had just listened and not cleaned up the blood like he had said- he wouldn’t have needed more for the dress.

When Cazador notices Astarion, he gives him a chilling grin.

“I told you that he would come for you, Pet,” Cazador cooed, a broken sob escapes your lips, “it was so cute, boy. ‘Just use me for your ritual, I’ll take his place, don’t hurt him-“

You whimper as Cazador licks the blood running from one of the cuts on your collar bones- nipping at the skin painfully. Astarion is going to rip the bastard apart, limb by limb.

“My favorite though,” Cazador maliciously states, “is when she told me how you left her and that you wouldn’t come for her. I’ve never been so thrilled to see someone so heartbroken over the life and love of a pathetic creature such as yourself. I’m not worried though,” Cazador places kisses along your neck and Astarion watches as another wave of sobs racks your body, “I’ll pleasure myself with her body until she starts screaming my name instead of yours.”

Astarion is seething as another pained scream leaves your mouth as Cazador gives you one last deep cut on your right side- dropping your weak, shaking body to the ground. The smell of your blood and fear is overwhelming.

Astarion barely remembers the battle- he remembers Wyll pulling him out of the ritual and then killing every creature that dared try to keep him from you.

Cazador is still looming over you- occasionally digging his staff into your side and Astarion gets angrier with every wheezing cry he hears. You are trying so hard to fight back- clawing, kicking, and punching. You are throwing cantrips as Cazador continues to throw you around.

Cazador goes to hit you again, but his swing is interrupted by Astarion stabbing his dagger straight through the Vampire Lord’s wrist- the staff landing with a clatter.

Astarion is all daggers and nails- his rage towards Cazador coming out in a frightening display of bloodlust. Cazador is barely visible under all the blood Astarion as drawn, but the man still teleports to his coffin.

Astarion charges towards the coffin- he’s not done yet. Astarion wants the man to suffer for everything he’s done to him, to the countless lives he forced Astarion to ruin, and you- your freedom and guaranteed safety. He’ll be killing Bridril Von next.

Astarion pushes the lid off of Cazador’s coffin.

“No, no. No healing sleep for you,” he pulls the Vampire Lord out of his coffin, “Wake up!”

Astarion flings the man with so much force he slides across the floor. Cazador gets onto his knees and looks at Astarion with pure loathing and disgust.

“Get your hands off me, worm.”

“Ha! I’m not the one in the dirt,” Astarion says with a sneer.

Astarion picks up the knife nearby and looks at Cazador, “one last thrust and I’ll be free of you. I’ll never have to fear you again.”

Astarion cocks his head to the side, “but, if I finish the ritual you started, I’ll never have to fear anyone, ever.”

“You think me a fool? That I would allow anyone to usurp me, speak the words and ascend in my place?”

Cazador cackles before continuing, “The runes I carved into your flesh bind you and all seven thousand souls to the ritual. Complete it, and all those bearing the scares will be sacrificed- you included.”

Astarion’s face contorts as Cazador smiles, “ you are simply a means to an end. I made you to be consumed.”

“I am so much more than what you made me,” Astarion retorts.

His whole body is shaking with anticipation- Astarion will finally end this man’s life. Astarion will have pow-

The pull of the Ascension is disrupted by Shadowheart screaming for Halsin to come and help- you’ve lost a lot of blood and she thinks you may be poisoned to some extent as well. You aren’t talking and you are motionless on the ground. You are looking at him though, tears rolling down your face.

Your affection for him warms his body as he enters your mind through the tadpole. You are barley conscious enough to notice the invasion of privacy.

Without the pull of the ascension, Astarion is unsure of his next move. He needs to know what to do, he doesn’t know and he needs your help.

Astarion’s body is then filled quickly with an intense suffocating grief. He is watching memories of the two of you together run through your mind as if you are having your own silent funeral for him. Astarion hasn’t seen himself in 200 years, but seeing him from your point of view- a loving, grieving point of view- takes all the wind out of his sails. Astarion is beautiful, but your affections towards him make him even more so. Together reading books, making love, joking, playing games- it’s all there in a nice warm little box that is slowly turning blue.

There is a finality in your head that eats him alive. There is acceptance and happiness for him- Gods all you have ever wanted was for him to be happy- but you are screaming and crying on the inside for your lost love. Aching and all alone- wishing Cazador would have just killed you and hoping there is a possibility they won’t be able to save you in time so you don’t have to watch him become Mephistopheles’ puppet- now or in the future.

Astarion feels tears stream down his face as your eyes begin to close. Your breathes are getting more shallow and he feels you give up- unable to continue with this life all alone. You’ve lost everyone now.

Goodbye, my Star. I should have told you I love you.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion romance #astarion x tav #karlach #bg3 #astarion acunin #astarion x female reader #astarion x f! reader

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laylajeffany · 13 days

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Crying at the Texas Roadhouse | Wenclair One-Shot for @cruciokilljoy

Rating: G WC: 4,500 Summary: Enid’s feelings are hurt and Wednesday tries to resolve them, requiring her to find her soft spot (in public) when Enid starts sobbing in the middle of a chain restaurant in Jericho. Enid's POV, established relationship, unrelated to any of my multi-chapter work TW: Esther Sinclair being herself

@cruciokilljoy You were probably looking for more physical hurt/comfort but both my multi-chap fics have explored that pretty throughly and I am tired of writing the girls in physical pain so I put them through emotional pain instead. Certainly not based on actual, recent conversations with my own hateful mother not at all ☠️

“You were crying.”

Duh.

“Like, an hour ago,” Enid clarified, looking at Wednesday as she stepped into their room with her jacket draped over her arm, sleeves rolled up, hands filthy. She could only imagine what her girlfriend had gotten into (literally, looking at the caked-on mud on her Oxfords that ran up to her stocking-covered knees). “I hardly think that’s the most pressing thing we need to talk about. Why are you covered in dirt?”

“Mud wrestling,” Wednesday replied dryly.

“Not enough on you for that.” Enid rolled her eyes and crossed her sweater-covered arms. She almost didn’t want to know but would certainly rather discuss Wednesday's potentially illegal antics than herself after the challenging evening that she’d already had.

She wasn’t in the mood for bickering, either way - so maybe quiet time would be best.

“Why were you upset?” Clearly, she wasn't going to drop it with her own deflection. Wednesday draped her jacket over the side of her desk chair and toed off her muddy shoes, forcing her to lose the small boost of lift they gave her, putting her squarely two inches beneath Enid. She stood directly in front of her, a kiss away – bearing into Enid with her eyes and forcing truth out of her.

Knowing her lower lip trembled a little, hating her tells and trying to frown the feelings away, Enid looked at her own feet. There was no use lying to Wednesday about an actually serious subject when the evidence was still in the bloodshot veins of her eyes. “My mother called. It was…it’s just always upsetting,” She glanced back up with a forced, sad smile. Wednesday’s eyes lost their intensity from curiosity, but gained something that was largely new for her – sympathy.

How Enid hated it. Deciding to dangle a tantalizing offer in front of her, she forced her pitch to remain neutral as she stated, “I don’t want to dwell on it. Can we skip the part where I rehash how my mom is a miserable person and…just go to dinner? You could edit my lycan paper after, I could use the help…”

Wednesday’s stare continued to be gentle and Enid was about ready to march out of the room if she didn’t quit. She couldn’t stand that. “Stop, please? Wednesday, honestly. I don’t want to talk about it. And I don’t want you to pacify me this evening. My mother always manages to upset me. And even if I stand up to her on the phone, I sometimes need to cry it out after. It’s like…” Deciding to use a weapon analogy, Enid expressed, “Like a fuse. She lit it, I detonated on her, and now there’s some debris to clean up, but I’m actually fine. I want to move on.”

Obviously a little put out by the way her jaw shifted just slightly, Wednesday disappeared wordlessly, returning from the community washroom down the hall with clean hands and sans her stockings, which Enid assumed she’d tossed rather than get any more flak from the on-site laundry service about soiling other people’s clothing.

She disappeared into her closet, coming out in a pair of wide-legged pants and an oversized black sweatshirt that fell nearly to her knees. If Enid could hide her emotions, she supposed she couldn’t comment on Wednesday hiding her body.

To her surprise, Wednesday actually let her not speak about her feelings and folded a hand into hers as she waved to Thing, nonverbally communicating that she wanted to be alone with Enid. Thing had been quite helpful to the whole affair – had heard her mother’s hurtful words, passed her tissues after she finished crying into her pillow, patted her back sweetly…

Wednesday led her to the foyer but didn’t turn to the right to take them to the cafeteria. Enid blinked a few times when Wednesday tugged her right out the front door and down the front steps. Confused, and really not in the mood to go investigating anything, particularly to discover whatever had Wednesday so dirty, Enid whined a little, “Can’t we just eat?”

“It’s Monday,” Her voice was just a touch darker than it had been in their room. “Nevermore’s infamous attempt at cowering to the vegetarians is tonight, and I don’t think their imitation beef is going to help you feel any better. We’re heading into town – I’m getting you a steak.” Well, that certainly perked her up just a little bit. “Withdrawing red meat once a week in an effort to be more environmentally friendly when ten percent of the student campus requires it as part of their metabolic diet is cruel, performative activism and we don’t need to be part of it. It makes as much sense as banning plastic straws. You don’t create systems change by following trends. Meatless Monday is going to meet my full-meat fist one of these days. But tonight, we’re going to crush peanut shells underfoot at a chain restaurant instead.”

More than okay with getting that salty coating in between the grooves of her furry, pink boots, Enid pulled Wednesday to her in a hug when they arrived to the edge of the forest trail that would take them into Jericho. Wednesday sucked in a breath of surprise at being forced into her hold but returned it after just a second of processing what was happening to her. “I don’t mean to take my bad mood out on you,” Enid apologized.

“I do it to you all the time,” Wednesday mumbled into her shoulder, sighing as she hooked her arms around her middle, hanging on just as tightly. “Usually for far-less valid reasons.” She pulled away to put her palms on Enid’s shoulders and met her eyes without that sympathy…instead…

Wednesday’s brown gaze in the setting sun was highly empathetic and made Enid drop half the tension in her shoulders. “I might also be a little hangry,” She confessed as her stomach roared suddenly between them.

There was a flirtation of a smirk on Wednesday’s lips at the noise and she said nothing, merely took her hand again, leading them boldly through the woods for a twenty-minute walk into town.

Enid swore she felt better just at the sight of the neon lights outlining the state of Texas with a cowboy hat perched on top of it when the restaurant was in view. Inside promised at least a feeling of satisfaction for the wolf within her, and that could often soften the meltdown of her personhood, too.

“Two, please,” Wednesday politely replied when the hostess, a too-cool Jericho High student with rapidly growing roots sticking out of her bleach blonde hair snapped her gum and looked irritated to have to ask how many were in their party.

Holding back her own growl of irritation, Enid would admit, she was relatively surprised by how well-behaved Wednesday could be in spaces like public restaurants. She often claimed that staff were simply victims of the State or something about labor rights, and generally tipped far more than Enid would’ve thought that they had earned.

Enid watched a basket of rolls be taken into a waitress’ hands and swallowed the saliva that threatened to slip out of her lips, thinking Wednesday was about to drop her hand as she often did in public – but not that day. She must’ve sensed some of her mother’s conversation had been about, willing to take on any bigot that might’ve had something to say about the two of them in a relationship. Vermont might’ve been one of the more progressive states in the country, but – certainly, so was California, and her mother had a whole lot to say from there that evening…

Once they were seated, Enid took a roll without waiting even a beat for the young woman who would be taking care of them to go through her required spiel, while Wednesday simply gave a curt nod at her before giving all of her attention to Enid as she went to return with water. (Enid could hardly wait for the day she could down one of those massive margaritas in the advertisements all over the establishment.)

She was halfway through with her first roll when Wednesday’s harsh stare asked the question before she needed to confirm, “You missed lunch with that extra dance practice today.”

“I’m sorry,” Enid said, just about ready to own up to anything – even things she hadn’t done, in an effort to just keep everyone from blowing up at her anymore that day. She really couldn’t handle Wednesday being frustrated with her, too -

“Next time, tell me,” Wednesday ordered, her voice clipped; Enid stared hard at the rings on the wooden, lacquered tabletop, willing her next round of sadness to stay internal. “I’ll bring you something to class. Don’t apologize to me.”

About to say ‘sorry’ again, Enid just bit her lip, seeing the tears that were threatening to well up in her gaze. She tried to blink them away, and was grateful when the waitress asked if they needed more time with the menu when she brought their water over. Enid just shook her head, while Wednesday started, then said her name in a very gentle tone – and all the up and down of soft and hard was really –

“Um, the twelve-ounce New York strip, please – rare.”

“You know that means pink, possibly bloo-”

Wednesday was quick to defend her. “She knows what her body requires.”

Enid let out a shuddered breath, quietly asking for her sides before the waitress left. Wednesday reached across the table and took both of Enid’s hands, clearly needing to understand more about what was making her act so small and miserable. “Tell me what your mother said.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Enid argued, feeling her tone rising as hysteria was pouring out of each vein, flooding her body.

“You obviously already are. It’s weighing on you. Release the burden, and you’ll feel relief.”

As the first tear fell, Wednesday’s face contorted from intensity and certainty to overwhelmed and near helplessness as she obviously hadn't thought through the fact that Enid was going to cry in public. She squeezed Enid’s hands, but the gesture only caused the second one to dribble, then the third, and the fourth, and Enid brought her sweater up over her face to keep from letting out an audible sob in the restaurant.

Thankfully, Wednesday had some sort of awareness about what to do – they’d been dating for months and friends for so long, she’d seen her fair share of Enid’s breakdowns and generally knew what did and didn’t help. When the preventative measures clearly weren’t working that Monday, she stood up and rounded to the space beside her, putting an arm around her and letting Enid fold herself into her chest. The unexpected display of affection was actually bringing out even more of her release. God – that hug to soothe her emotions into was exactly what Enid needed, and the fact that Wednesday had it in her to be soft enough around her to let her break down, in a half-full restaurant, into her arms? She loved her more than anything, and Enid knew that, she just wished, maybe – well, Wednesday was probably right. She did just need to talk about it to work through it.

When she met the black strings of her hoodie, Enid knew she let out a cry of a sniffly sound. It was embarrassing, devastating, really, to be having a full breakdown at the Texas Roadhouse. But Wednesday had been determined to try and make her feel better that evening and was going to have to finish what she started, even if that meant snuggling her in a vinyl-covered booth while the waitress awkwardly put their salads down on the same side of the table a few minutes after the crying began.

Wednesday unrolled one of the fabric napkins, shaking out a knife and the forks. For a brief, split-second, Enid thought she really might eat one-handed while she continued to snivel all over her chest, but Wednesday instead used the square to dab Enid’s cheeks, soaking up the tears that hadn’t been absorbed into her sweatshirt. She adjusted her hold on her girlfriend and looked at her with something new –

Sincerity.

Almost blubbering again, Enid just nodded, knowing it would do well to admit what Esther had said to her on the phone. “My…mother – she was …on her weekly rampage, about…everything. Nevermore, administration refusing to split us up – you not receiving any consequences from last semester…the usual. Then…it shifted,” She sniffed. “She brought up my late blooming, how I’d been so privileged to have been even have parents who cared enough to offer to send me to lycanthropy conversion camp…”

Wednesday’s hand curled on her upper thigh at that.

“And when she wasn’t getting a rise out of me for that, she dug deeper – the normal line of inane ramblings of how she couldn’t believe after all that time, ‘that Addams girl’ was what got me to shift for the first time…and, when I reminded her, ‘that Addams girl’ is Wednesday, my girlfriend, she…she…just said, ‘we don’t talk about that,’ and started bitching about the value of a Nevermore education not matching up to the price tag, not that it mattered – since none of her pack were scoring above a 3.5 on the ‘mediocre’ grading system, moved on to my scar tissue and wanting me to come home to have a consultation with a plastic surgeon for a revision procedure, and I said that wasn’t going to happen and hung up on her. Then I cried.”

Watching Wednesday respond to the entirety of the call was like discovering something new hidden in a sensory tube every other second. While she was short for words, Wednesday’s eyes always spoke volumes about what she would say if she dared to put her thoughts out verbally. Mr. Addams had described her tongue as that of a viper to Enid more than once when telling stories about her, so she was pretty sure it was often for the best that Wednesday focused on taking in all the information before reacting. She knew that Wednesday tended to get into it with administrators and authority, but at least with Enid – she was far more even-tempered in how she responded to hearing words she didn’t like.

Enid let out a long breath and picked up one of the forks that Wednesday had shaken out of the napkin, needing to channel her energy into anything but crying again. She speared leafy greens onto the tines, trying not to visualize doing the same to any of her mother’s more vulnerable body parts, for that matter – wondering which Wednesday would fantasize about ripping out first in her defense.

“I’m sorry, Enid,” Wednesday spoke through a near whisper of a tone.

Hearing those words come out of Wednesday was like hearing foreign language that she needed to interpret. Her fork fell out of her hand. Not wanting to startle her anymore, Enid brought her longing, hopeful sort of gaze to Wednesday’s. “Why are you apologizing now?”

Wednesday drew her hands into her lap, staring straight ahead. It took her some time to form her response, likely, if Enid had to guess, because of the emotion that was pooling in her own eyes. She knew her damn well enough that she wouldn’t shed anything close to a tear in public, but Wednesday was very much on the edge. It didn’t make sense – she’d done nothing wrong, aside from maybe push her into talking about it when Enid knew what that would unleash, but even then – it’s not like she had been the one to say all those hurtful things…

“I suppose I am not apologizing with my sorry. But I am sorry that I contributed to enough of your mother’s ire that she took it out on you. I’m sorry that she continues to refuse to acknowledge that you are in a non-traditional relationship, let alone demonstrate any sort of positive feeling about it. I’m sorry that she continues to bring up painful events of the past, and attempt to shame you for them, or think you should have been grateful for her wanting to send you to an abusive situation. I’m sorry that she thinks your grades aren’t good enough – you’ve got a 3.87 right now, which is Magna cum laude and I’m really proud of you for working diligently at increasing your grade point average. I’m sorry that she thinks you need plastic surgery. If you wanted to, that would be your choice. But I love your scars, and I think they’re beautiful.”

Enid could barely breathe. She wasn’t sure if Wednesday had ever said so many words consecutively, let alone that indicated her true feelings on any subject matter…that she was harboring so many about her, in particular. Trying not to let herself curl up into the faux-wooden logs that made up the side wall of their booth, Enid finally found the ability to expand her lungs and release the last of the tension she’d been harboring. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

“It’s not in pity,” Wednesday clarified. “It’s not. It’s…perhaps a feeling that I don’t have a schema for.” She gave a rare blink as she seemed to be trying to find the emotional vocabulary within her to better explain herself, staring at Enid, who was pretty sure she was going to need an inhaler by the end of dinner at the rate Wednesday was taking her breath away. Finally, she gave a nearly-invisible shrug as she further clarified, “I just know, that I love you. And I despise that anyone would attempt to make you feel small, or anything else negative, especially someone who is also supposed to love you unconditionally. And I am sorry, that you were forced to endure that. All your life. So…I’m sorry, and I hope to make it up to you.”

Tilting her head, sniffing just a little, finding the shiest hint of a smile, Enid promised in a watery whisper, “You are. Right now. You…knew that I needed to take care of myself, and that school wasn’t going to cut it, and you brought me to the Texas Roadhouse,” She let out a small bubble of a laugh. “Here, I’ll get what I need to sustain me, but while we’re waiting,” She paused, reaching over for one of Wednesday’s clasped hands, forcing them apart so they could squeeze one another’s. “You’re giving me the opportunity to release what doesn’t. Thank you, Wednesday.”

There was a new wave on Wednesday’s features – a distinct mark of relief in her gaze as she swept it, unblinking onto Enid again. “It is hardly my forte to make someone who was sad return to baseline, let alone anything akin to happiness…”

“You’ve done a pretty remarkable job for me,” Enid assured her when the waitress brought out their main courses, looking a little awkward as she put them near their still-full salad plates.

“Uh…anything else I can bring you girls?”

“A total end to the heteronormative, compulsory, traditional society we continue to find ourselves existing in,” Wednesday said without hesitating.

The waitress blinked.

Enid shook her head. “I think we’ve got anything we need, right here.”

The woman left with wide, confused eyes and Enid sighed, cutting into her steak without thinking twice, watching the red ooze out onto her plate. The sight grossed her out, but she knew it would do her body good.

Sure enough – halfway into the steak, she was feeling remarkably better already. “Try to finish it,” Wednesday prompted her. “The full moon is on Thursday, you should be nearly doubling your caloric intake.”

Kissing her cheek, earning the slightest twinge of red to her cheeks, Enid thanked her and followed through, polishing off the meat, picking at her vegetables while Wednesday ate with a distinct sort of raised-higher-class slowness that she usually did.

After finishing and watching Wednesday tip the waitress almost double what the bill had been, Enid took her hand and made it her turn to lead them – the yellow glow of a Dollar General sign across the street tempting her. “I feel like properly finishing up my breakdown by making a frivolous, five-dollar purchase.”

Wednesday’s eyes rolled but she didn’t fight her. Mid 2000s soft-pop radio was playing as they stepped into the nearly desolate discount store, one that Enid liked because of the deadstock that featured some of her favorite comfort characters from her childhood. Knowing exactly what she wanted, she led Wednesday through precariously stacked makeshift aisles of cardboard boxes filled with inventory that would be put out by the one employee working there over the course of several weeks. She hummed along to the music, singing along softly with Colbie Caillat, feeling a little bubbly herself as Wednesday refrained from spewing out comments on late-stage capitalism or some such true, but nonsensical arguing that would accomplish nothing between them. “Here they are,” She said, gesturing to a host of children’s coloring books. Wondering if Wednesday's limited access to traditional children's media would kick in, Enid playfully wondered, “Anybody look familiar to you?”

“Even someone who spent a significant portion of her childhood exploring the caves below the house like myself can recognize the ultimate example of corporate greed, the mouse that is Mickey.”

“Yikes,” Enid commented, “I’ll steer clear of the Disney characters.” Mentally retracting her statement to herself about Wednesday being able to hold back full-punch societal comments, she smirked, spotting what she wanted pretty much right away, taking a pink, Strawberry Shortcake book into her hold. “Will you color with me?”

“I cannot promise that I won’t be giving the fruitcake a makeover. And a knife.”

Giggling, then singing along a little more as she took Wednesday’s hand and wove her through the maze of mess before checking out – spending a whopping two dollars and twelve cents to achieve the final release in neurotransmitters that would complete her night.

After a walk back to Ophelia Hall that included a great production of sneaking back into the campus as they’d left without permission, Enid and Wednesday both found themselves in their pajamas and ready for bed before Enid took her art supplies out from a basket, revealing about three hundred colored pencils in different shades.

Wednesday flipped through the coloring book with a touch of a nose wrinkle, staring at the smiley, fruit-themed girls. She was going out of her way, clearly setting every intention of getting through the moment to make her girlfriend happy as she'd claimed. Finally letting out a real, whole laugh, Enid earned her perplexed stare. “You did it,” She promised. Wednesday waited and Enid winked. “You didn’t just reset me to factory settings, but you made me happy. I promise. You totally do not have to color with me. You can read or edit papers or whatever else is going to make you happy, too. So long as you’re not out solving mysteries, but here with me.”

There was a beat of relief as Wednesday took out a book she’d been reading through, curling up beside Enid, who took some creative liberties as Wednesday would have, forcing a picture of Lemon Meringue, the pigtailed character, and Strawberry Shortcake to look as close to herself and Wednesday as possible, even adding a little knife into Lemon’s hand. Wednesday let Enid pick the music, but she went with one of her playlists of cello covers as a compromise for both of them.

When she finished and flashed the coloring sheet to her girlfriend, Wednesday almost smiled, amusement evident in her eyes as she took a knife out of her pajama pocket (naturally – everyone needed a bedtime knife), evenly slicing it out of the book. She tacked it up on Enid’s bulletin board before putting all the coloring supplies away while Enid watched. Finally, she turned off all the lights except the strand of twinkling ones she’d magically learned to tolerate once they started dating.

She brought Enid to the floor-bed they’d made with a roll-away mattress that was more comfortable than cramming into either of their twin beds, lying on her back as usual, and inviting Enid to curl up with her with silence, just vague gestures – a pat of her own chest, a small nod…

“Wednesday, I love you. Thank you, for making me feel one hundred percent better. I feel even better than before my mom called,” Enid said softly, nuzzling into her.

Wednesday’s fingers instinctively wove into her hair. “I’m tempted to block her number on your phone so she can’t get a hold of you. I can’t promise that if I’m in the room the next time she calls, I won’t make her feel something about herself that is more than true.”

“Good,” Enid encouraged with a contented huff. “She deserves that.”

“You didn’t deserve what she said or attempted to do to you in the past. And I hope that…her comments about…us, don’t make you second guess things. I am always here – to repair and comfort what she has hurt or damaged, as long as you want me to.”

Enid squeezed her affectionately. “You are excellent at comforting my hurts.”

There was a small breath of alleviation she felt from Wednesday. Wanting her to really understand that, she added, “You went out of your way for me tonight. You could’ve just given me a hug, taken me down to the dining hall, and come up to edit my paper. But you didn’t. You knew what very specific things would make me physically feel better, then opened yourself up emotionally for me, too. You’re the best. I love you.”

Wednesday clutched her tightly with one palm wrapped around her back, the other gently tracing the skin near Enid’s scars. Her words felt a little surprising when she added, “I would like to apologize for forcing you to talk about what happened before you were ready. I’m sure you would have liked to not cry in public at the Texas Roadhouse.”

“I think it’s a perfectly lovely public place to have a breakdown,” Enid said with a giggle at her own expense.

Wednesday said nothing other than a quiet, “I love you. Go to sleep.”

Closing her eyes so she could follow the direction, Enid sighed very contently, reflecting on the evening as she drifted off to have the chance to start over in a new day.

Layla is working through prompts and determined to write the Black Menagerie epilogue for the weekend - stay tuned for more ✌🏼

#Wednesday 2022 #Fanfic #Wenclair #One-Shot #visual for my non-american readers of what a Texas Roadhouse looks like 🫶🏻#who among us hasn't cried in a chain restaurant?#unbeta’d #the collection of one-shots I write mostly in a closet at work is bringing me great joy #thank you for all the prompts I struggle to do any kind of one-shot on my own #layla's >5k challenge

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awarmcupofmilk · 2 years

Text

Gojo x reader “Pained Joy”

afab!reader

series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6

summary: half gojo’s pov- a drunken conversation ends your five year marriage w/ gojo

content warnings: breakup/sad, angst, alcohol use (not extensive), arguing, fluff (kinda?) in flashbacks, mention of character going missing in flashback, mention of sickness in flashback, divorce

word count: 1,277

please don’t repost, edit, translate, use, or copy my works on any platforms (if you’d really like to please reach out – reblogs are welcome)

Namie was crying. She wasn’t bawling anymore, maybe she was tired from the conversation earlier. The thought made your heart twist. She held onto your hand, tears sliding down her cheeks. She sniffled, her nose was running, but did not rub her eyes. It seemed like she was trying not to blink. Maybe get every last glimpse of Gojo before he moved out?

You had reassured her he would still come visit often. And besides, though you hadn’t explained this to Namie, officially the divorce hadn’t quite been sorted out yet. You’d have to figure out custody, alimony, all the nitty-gritty that made this even uglier than it already was.

You couldn’t see your face, but you knew it looked miserable. Nothing about this felt good. Gojo wasn’t much better, eyes somber, almost deadened as he met your gaze. You desperately tried to avoid the question, but the back of your mind shouted it constantly these days. Why did it end up like this?

You felt your throat clenching and eyes watering, but you didn’t cry. You didn’t feel like you deserved to. Every tear you shed would just hurt Namie. Gojo was probably thinking it, too, that is, if he was sad enough about this to have cried otherwise. Regardless, he put up a commendable act, smiling at your daughter with all the reassurance and appropriate apology necessary to calm her down. She sniffled again.

You pulled Namie closer to you and stroked her hair as Gojo picked up his last box and turned away. Namie wailed once as he drove away, then fell silent. You wanted to scream. But instead, you kneeled down to meet Namie’s eyes. “Are you hungry, baby?” You asked as you stroked her hair and wiped away her tears as best you could. She shook her head and ran away from you. Ah.

You stared after her, making sure she wasn’t going anywhere far. She just ran upstairs to her room. You turned back as you heard the door slam, and let out a sigh. For the first time today, you buried your face in your knees and sobbed.

✧

The night before Gojo agreed to move out, he had charged at you, angrily.

“Seriously,” he had said, frustrated, exasperated, and honestly nothing short of furious. “Why are you doing this? What brought this on?”

You had sighed. “Satoru, stop. I already told you, forget about it.”

“No! I’m not just going to forget about it!” Gojo had yelled. It made you flinch. You don’t think he noticed. Or cared. “This is ridiculous! (“Satoru, stop,” you had repeated.) You’re just ending everything based on some sort of whim, and you won’t tell me why? What about Namie?”

That did it. Now you were fuming. The anger clouded your vision, you felt your pulse throbbing. “On a whim? That’s what you think this is? Do you really need me to point out how little you cared about me or this family? How dare you bring up Namie?”

He seemed taken aback. He was trying to backtrack now, but you were having none of it. “Did it ever occur to you that what you did might be too painful, too humiliating for me to repeat? I don’t owe you an explanation! You’ve done enough harm. Even if you don’t feel sorry, leave me alone.”

He had gone quiet. For a few seconds he just stood there. Then, after giving a curt nod, he left as abruptly as he came. At no point did he apologize.

✧

Gojo remembers when he first met you now. His first thought when he saw you was that you seemed happy. It was too simple an assumption looking back, but something in the way you spoke, carried yourself, just seemed cheery. You didn’t even have to try that hard. You didn’t have to smile. He smiled more than you did, joked more than you did. But somehow, it was just clear that you were a happier presence.

Maybe that’s why he asked you out. You made him feel more optimistic. Like life would be fun.

If only he had remembered the hope you brought was what he liked about you. Too late.

✧

Tossing his keys aside, staring at the pile of boxes he had no heart to unpack, Gojo ran a hand over his face. What happened?

What was the nail in the coffin? What made you leave?

The questions haunted him. But it was hopeless. He’d never know. His stomach and pride twisted at the thought that even without a turning point, he had done more than enough to deserve the consequences.

For the first time since the conversation that ended your marriage, Gojo felt a tear slide down his cheek. He felt wretched.

Wiping it away with the back of his hand, he reached for his phone and dialed for his best friend.

✧

“I moved out today,” Gojo said, sitting on Geto’s couch. His voice shook. “It feels final now.”

Geto patted him on the shoulder, expression apologetic.

Gojo took a sip of the beer. It made him cough. He hated how it tasted. He hated more how you wouldn’t be here to pick him up this time.

He laughed bitterly at how quickly he pulled a one-eighty. What he was irritated by he now missed. Desperately. So much so it terrified him.

✧

You, always smiling, always laughing, always pulling him into a hug. You, who held his hand and kissed Namie on the forehead, terrified but still hoping for the best, still smiling for the family even when Namie was sick. You, who held Namie tight and smiled for her, even when he had gone missing, who stood waiting with his daughter at the door the day he came back.

Were you really gone forever?

✧

His laughter turned into tears very quickly. Geto seemed at a loss. But the more Gojo thought, the more indignant he became. Again. “You know, they never gave me a reason?”

“I get it, I wasn’t all that. But they never said anything. Up till the end, they never told me why.” Gojo put his face in his palm.

Geto frowned. He managed to look disapproving and apologetic at the same time.

“Well, they were pretty obvious, Satoru. Remember last ti—”

Geto fell silent. Gojo nudged him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. But Geto’s gaze was far off.

“Oh no.” He breathed.

“What?” Gojo asked, confused and a bit irritated.

“I think I know why.”

“What?” Gojo said again. But he had understood. He stopped breathing in wait, in fear.

“The last time you came, before your mission, I think Y/N was crying when they came to pick you up.”

“What?!” Gojo said, yelled, really.

“I don’t remember that well. But their eyes were red. And they didn’t say anything. Or maybe they said ‘hi’ to me? Either way they seemed upset. But we were both wasted.”

Gojo couldn’t speak.

“I mean, did you do anything horrible after that? Maybe it was something else.”

But he hadn’t. He was away on a mission for most of the two months after that.

Gojo ran out into the hallway to call you; it was the alcohol at work. But you didn’t answer. You had cried yourself to sleep. Not that you would have answered otherwise.

He clutched his hair, head between his knees. What did he do?

Was it really all over? Why didn’t you answer? Were you okay? Was Namie okay?

Countless questions raced through his mind in a bout of panic, but among them one made him petrified.

Was it really all his fault?

<- Previous Part ✧⭐︎☆⭐︎✧ Next Part ->

✧ Masterlist ✧

taglist: @skzismyhome @chanyeolscoon @cloudsinthecosmos @dunnowhy-m @mykyoon @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @96jnie

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pespillo · 8 months

Text

Titanlights Week Day 3: Boo-boo buddies [Emperor´s acolyte AU edition]

"Luz realizes this strange demon from the emperor´s coven is more of a child than a beast"

It happened too fast that day, one moment they are just trying to get more inside information on the Emperor´s Coven the next moment they are now basically holding hostage the Emperor´s weird "lapdog" at the owl house. He made a mess out of the living room in record time, raking claws onto the couch and growling, puffed out in anger, it let out a shrieking voice talking about how doomed they were once the Emperor knows about this, much to their surprise as the demon hadn't let out a speaking word before fully letting it sink in his predicament.

"-So you CAN talk" Eda snorted, and the demon just seemed more annoyed, now playing the silence game with his arms crossed and tail twitching behind him in irritation.

After a few hours, it seemed that he had resigned that his rescue will not be coming in tonight, and wandered silently around the house, Eda had expected him to be looking for a way to escape, but he did not seem interested in fending off alone into the night in Titan´s knows where.

"Sssshhrrrriip-" Luz´s ear perked up at a noise down the hall, blood running cold when she realized it was coming from her room at the house, quickly running in and much to her dismay seeing the demon having busted into her room and starting to rip apart at her belongings,

"HEY- !" Luz shout out but the small demon seemed to purposefully ignore her and continued in his petty wreckage, tearing into left out homework on the floor;

"Stop that, come on!" Luz decided getting physical was the only option, quickly scooping the demon up in her arms. The small beast was startled and obviously angered, pushing Luz away and clawing at her direction, Luz tried remembering her mom´s advice on animals that react aggressively, trying to find his nape, but the demon squirmed his way out and fell with a loud -THUNK!-

Luz realized the demon fell head first onto the floor, worried now that he could have cracked his skull in some way, much more mortified realizing that the golden caps that where on his horns where gone, rolling off nearby, she gasped in horror thinking -she broke his horns-

The demon´s furious glare once he touched the end of his horns wasn't helping her thinking this wasn't the case,

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh- im so sorry i didn't mean it-" she reached out at his head and he hissed and backed away, in all her panic with thoughts swirling in her head she persisted in getting close, and the demon lashed out, biting her hand hard, hard enough to actually draw blood, Luz could bit her lip and cursed under her breath in pain, not wanting to scream out and alert Eda and get this demon she just hurt badly in any trouble for her own mistake, and so the demon realizing she wasn't budging and just taking the bite, eventually softened his grip and let go, letting Luz bruised and bloodied hand shivering in place,

- "Ahh, shoot... i - let me, please wait! , ill get the aid kit!" Luz was trying her best to not let out a sob of pain as tears prickled her eyes as she held her bloody bitten hand and rummaged through things to get bandages, and hopefully glue as well, thinking that at least a temporary fix for the horns could help, meanwhile the small demon just watched intently, grabbing the golden caps left on the floor.

"Childe" she heard behind her, a soft mutter as her good hand finally fiddled around with the aid kit, trying to get a healing patch onto the wound,

"What was that?" she asked because she couldn't really understand what it meant. The demon huffed , "thats what Im called."

"Oh...Oh!" she gleamed through the throbbing hand ache,

"Im Luz! Luz No-" "I already know that." Childe cut her off and held onto the caps. Luz giggled nervously, right , Emperor´s Coven, they know very much about her, shes a criminal to them, to him.

Once her hand was bandaged up and the healing spell started working onto the pain, she finally could grab the glue and carefully scoot close to Childe.

"Sorry about your horns, i hope that this helps a little ?, i guess we are even..."She held her wounded hand up and smiled nervously

"You are resilient, i guess you proved yourself enough to me" Childe tentatively grabbed the glue, then realizing he had no idea what it was for.

"Uhm, oh do you need, help with it? for your horns?" she asked and fiddled with her thumbs and motioned horns on her head.

Childe quirked a brow and then realized, what a stupid human this one was, Belos hyped her up to be more ingenious than this,

"They are hollow. i dont need to glue them on." he said as he just put on the caps back on the cut off horns again. Luz did feel incredibly stupid.

So the bite was all for nothing? she thought and then sighed, no, no she should not have grabbed him like that, of course he was gonna retaliate. Luz glanced at the lower part of his horns, scuffed and scratched, shivering at the thought of what sort of things he had to train for. Luz sat her back on the wall, he seemed so small, helpless, not really fit for a scout at all, the more she looked at him, maybe he was a kid then, even Hunter had some sort of muscle in him from all the training, meanwhile Childe was just,rough all around the edges, his spiked gold collar was too big on him.

"Did it hurt?" she motioned horns again.

"I dont remember. Belos gifted these caps to me, if he found dents on them he would kill you." he glared at her , that explained the anger very well.

"Well, did they get any?"

"....No." she sighed in relief, as if that would make any difference really

"You punished me enough!" she almost playfully booped him on the muzzle before she stopped her finger in the way, he pushed her hand away, rather gently, and turned himself, huffing and curling on the end of her sleeping bag.

"Consider me merciful. I wont rake your face off tonight." Childe said and laid his head and closed his eyes. She did her best finger gun towards him and snorted, probably delirious from the rush of pain and adrenaline of the moments past.

"Thank you very much!" Luz said as she just laid her head against the wall and closed her eyes, too tired to even turn the lights off or get in bed.

#the owl house #titanlightsweek2023 #titanlights week #luz noceda #king clawthorne #emperor acolyte au #samsa´s art stuff #toh fic #kinda !#this was copied from a twt thread so excuse formattin

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cerenemuxse · 1 month

Text

Unfair

EoSR Hanahaki (Engines) - Edward x James

🥀 December 1968

CW/TW: Graphic descriptions (hanahaki)

Last Train for Christmas (Season 18 Episode 18)

Word Count: 452

Edward is sent to the Steamworks after something happens.

For better context, read "Like Snowflakes in December" (Decemeber 1968). Read up until the part where Edward goes unconscious.

“Victor!”

“Victor, please!”

It was a struggle to stay conscious. Even the sounds of wheeshes were too loud for Edward. His smokebox ached, and he felt lightheaded. He tried muttering something but all that came out was slurred incoherence from a hoarse, weak voice.

He was aware of his state. He could feel the boiling water, mixed with coal dust, dripping from his eyes and mouth, staining his face.

The smell of the crumpled pink flowers, similar to pink roses, soaked in the same water, was strong. It was strong, worsening his smokebox ache. His pipes were scratched inside from them when he heaved them out, severely weakening his voice for a while.

“Victor, please help him!” James was sobbing at that point, and all Edward wanted to do was hug him and apologize. Apologize for making him worry so much. James cared so much for him, yet it hurt to see or hear it.

He’d come such a long way.

It was bittersweet.

“Please help Edward, please!”

The Old Iron's conscience couldn't hold on any longer. The little bit of strength he had left was gone. The harsh heaving took a toll on him, and the exhaustion from it took over, leaving the engine to drift to an uncomfortable sleep.

…

Multiple times during his sleep, Edward felt when he heaved out more and more.

Make it stop. Someone make it stop! was all he could cry out into the void surrounding him. The space around him was infinite, yet he felt congested. The begonias wouldn't stop coming out in sudden bursts. His mouth ached, and his throat was in pain.

But after a strong one, he went a while without heaving.

He could breathe again.

The small cerulean engine was so afraid of even thinking about it. He resisted but the thought came through.

Is it over now?

…

Weeks later, Edward was released from the Steamworks. His piston rod was fixed, and the workmen determined that he would be fine.

However, their tone wasn't convincing to the engine or anyone for that matter. Not one bit.

The conversation when he woke up the first night played in his mind. The plants continued to scratch his tube, uncomfortably reminding him of why they were there in the first place.

It could've been easy to resolve if he’d known about love. That it was possible between engines. If he’d known, he could've been prepared! If he’d known, he could just tell him how he felt!

But he just can't.

He just can't put that weight onto James, especially if it was to find the best option for his own condition if the red engine did not reciprocate his feelings.

It isn't fair.

Wrote this, forgot it, remembered, edited, and posted it.

Again, you'll have to read "Like Snowflakes in December" for better context.

Until I post James' realization story, there won't be one for him in this AU.

I've dwindled into hanahaki + plant gore before so I have some idea of what I'm doing. This is definitely one of my "darker" stories that I've published. A little nervous about it since its been a while since I've written or drawn and posted darker things.

Thank you for reading. Comments + reblogs are appreciated <3

#ttte edward #ttte james #ttte edward x james #a dozen years #eosr hanahaki au #my writing #ttte fic #ttte shipping #ttte #ttte au #ttte 2x5

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thesparklingwriter · 2 years

Text

(psst: today it's angstober. )

truth

“You’re not a product of your circumstances, and you are not defined by the misfortunes you’ve been privy to.”

tags: pet names, Zhongli is very pure, soft Zhongli, fem!reader, Zhongli and reader are in a relationship, reader has a traumatic past, Zhongli doesn't know but he has his suspicions, i think this is hurt comfort but idk

content warnings: seasonal depression, nightmares (pls let me know if there's anything that should be added)

masterlist | ao3 link | taglist | next

please do not repost or edit my work without credit. reblogs are greatly appreciated!

i'm also taking requests for the rest of the flufftober days, PLEASE leave any suggestions, cause i am running out of ideas... i'm also considering adding a taglist, so send me an ask if you want to be added :)

Zhongli knows you more than you realise he does. He knows you like staying up late and sleeping in, and he knows you hate sweet things.

But it’s what he doesn’t know that worries him the most—when he can see the terror and pain behind your eyes, when he knows you’re in pain, but he doesn’t know what is causing it.

He knows that when winter comes around, and temperatures plummet, things seem to get harder for you, but he doesn’t know why. You shiver and fold into yourself, as if to conserve heat, no matter how much he heats the house. Your smiles are forced and your energy low.

At night, you thrash in bed trying to escape from some nightmare you can’t ever seem to disperse. The first time he tried to console you, you shot up, suddenly awake , a muttered a groggy “who are you?” escaping your lips as you scrambled away from him.

Since that night, he leaves a dim lamp on in the room, one you can use to identify him when the dreams start chasing you. He’s also had to accept that he can’t try to console you, no matter how heart wrenching he finds your sobs. He has to wait until you seek out his touch, and most nights you do, sliding your shaking hands around him. He doesn’t sleep until they’ve settled, and he knows you’re peacefully sleeping.

Sometimes, when you’re walking around Liyue together, he feels you grab onto his hand tighter, although he can see nothing that threatens him. He eyes scan the crowd to see who’s threatening his beloved, but he can’t find anything but the evidence—you digging yourself into his side. He doesn’t ask any questions except the obvious—“Do you want to go home?”

He knows that loud sounds and sharp movements put you on edge, especially if it’s in a place crowded with men. He’s pieced together that they are the problem, but he can’t do anything but avoid them whenever he can until he hears it from your mouth.

It hurts him to see how you’re suffering on your own. He promised he’d help you with anything you were struggling with, but you won’t let him help you with this. All he can do is try his best to keep you happy when the ghosts of pain and terror begin to reflect in your eyes.

“What do you want for dinner?” You ask him, one mild afternoon. Zhongli looks up from his book, only to see you reaching precariously for the plates. He’d meant to have that cabinet lowered for you, but he’d hesitated because it stopped you from bothering with menial tasks like putting the dishes away. He didn’t like burdening you with things like that.

“I’ll cook, don’t bother yourself with the plates,” he says softly, watching you with unrestrained curiosity.

“No, I want to—” The plates Zhongli told you to not bother yourself with clatter to the floor in a spray of ceramic shards. He calls for you, telling you to not move so you don’t cut yourself, but the commotion is too much for you, and you panic. Tears bunch up in your eyes, and you scurry away, narrowly missing the shards that surround you on the way out.

He wants to rush to you, to check that you’re okay, but such smothering never really does anything good, so he settles for cleaning up the plates—just so you have enough time to calm down. He makes quick work of the shards and sets to finding you.

He knows you aren’t downstairs, and upstairs is almost as hopeless. Too many rooms and doors to look behind. If you’re not in the obvious places, the only thing he can do is sit and wait for you to come out. He decides to start with the simplest option: your room. When he doesn’t see you in there, he tries the adjacent bathroom.

“Are you in here, love?”

You don’t respond for a long time. “Go away.”

He backs away from the door until he hears your lilting voice again.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not,” he says softly. “I’m just worried. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you sniff. Usually, he’d take this at face value, but today, he doesn’t.

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” his chest constricts as he whispers the words. He almost sure you don’t hear him, until you yank the door open.

“Do you even want to know?” You ask lowly. “Do you even want to know how messed up I am?” Tears start readily streaming down your face, as you stare at Zhongli, your arms wrapped around yourself as if to make yourself smaller. “Do you want a reminder that the girl you’re dating is well and truly—”

Zhongli gently pulls your hands away from your sides. “My perception of you is not influenced by your circumstances or your appearances. Nothing you tell me could ever make me change my mind about you.”

You look away from his earnest gaze. It’s embarrassing, admitting that you’re not okay. Admitting that it’s all been an act, that you’re terrified he’s going to be like the rest of them. Admitting that despite years of being together, you’re still terrified that he’ll snap and take his stresses out on you. Admitting that you’re terrified that he’ll turn out to be just like them.

It’s humiliating.

“Talk to me, love.” Zhongli whispers. “Please.”

You resist for a while, minutes turning into hours as you spend the rest of the day pointedly avoiding the subject matter. Zhongli doesn’t press you, or expect you to say anything. At the very least, he’s glad you’ve cheered up slightly.

In the evening, when nightfall rolls around and you curl into bed next to him, he feels you clear your throat.

“Are you alright?” he whispers into the dim room. You swallow.

“I’m…sorry,” you whisper. “For not telling you. For making you navigate all of this with no explanation. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You are entitled to your own choices. My existence shouldn’t threaten that.”

Zhongli rolls over to hug you close to his chest, and with your face pressed again the man you’ve grown to love, it’s then that you finally get the courage to tell him about everything you’ve been through—everything you can remember about your family, your past, and the horrible memeories that you’ve kept packed away in some quiet corer of your mind—until your voice is hoarse, and your eyes are swollen from tears.

Zhongli is mainly quiet, stroking your hair to remind you that he’s still listening. His silence is scary–you’ve stripped yourself naked for him, so he can see deep into your mind and your thoughts, and his lack of response… It doesn’t bear thinking about.

“Do you want to me to leave?” You whisper softly. “I understand if you do. It’s a lot and–”

“I don’t want you to leave.” He replies, pulling you closer to his chest. “I would be content to follow you for the rest of my life is that was what you wanted.”

“But they–”

“You’re not a product of your circumstances, and you are not defined by the misfortunes you’ve been privy to.” Zhongli says, returning to stroking your hair. “I love you regardless, and I always will.”

a/n anon i hope this is good enough, i tried my very best <3

#tswzhongliflufftober #flufftober #angstober 2022 #zhongli fluff #ao3 fanfic #zhongli fanfic #genshin fluff #flufftober 2022 #flufftober2022 #zhongli #zhongli flufftober #zhongli x reader #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #fanfiction #my fic #my fanfiction

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fluffyf0x · 1 year

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INSECURITIES

Arataki Itto x Reader

TW: Slight mentions of Insecurities

Story notes: this contains insecure Itto, and nervous wreck reader. I'm like dead inside cause I'm not sure if I wrote it properly lol. (I'll just edit later on hehe)

Insecurities

*＊✿❀ Now Playing: Heat Waves by Glass Animals ❀✿＊*

You and Itto have been together for about a year. You knew you loved this man with all of your heart and soul. You knew you would do anything within your power for him. Glancing at the framed photo of you and Itto by your desk, you smiled.

You turned back to your laptop, trying to fix your bad posture. You fingers worked their way as you had to finish an essay before your next class starts.

Being a college student was never easy. You had to make sure you had good grades, all the while making sure that your projects are to be submitted on the deadline and that you performed well enough in your role being part of the student council. You had a shitty sleep schedule because of that.

You sighed, it was 6am in the morning, you've been awake for the past 24 hours, and you're running on coffee. You've barely had time to talk to Itto. You miss him very much.

You grinned anyways, you had a date after class since it was Friday. Your heart fluttered with joy, excited to see him again.

Classes ended and you were chatting with Ayato. He was the student council president, so you needed to report to him regarding your work in the student council. But as the the issue you raised to him ended and the misunderstandings we're cleared, the two of you started to casually chat. Laughing at each other's jokes and such.

"Oh I remember, you're dating that troublemaker Itto correct?" Ayato confirmed, fixing his jacket. His blue eyes were gentle looking at you. You nodded at his question. Sipping on your ice coffee.

"No wonder he's been behaving. You two are a cute couple. I hope for the best in your relationship" Ayato said sweetly. He then noticed something, or perhaps someone, then excused himself.

"I'm afraid my sister is looking for me, I will take my leave for now" Ayato said. You smiled.

"Bye!" You piped. Waving him goodbye. Not soon after, you arms wrap around your waist, snuggling into your shoulder. You turned to see Itto.

"Hi baby, how's class?" You asked. Itto mumbled into your shoulder, tickling you a bit. You giggled.

"Tiring" he groaned. You patted his head as he held your waist tighter.

'I love him so much'

The two of you sat on the bench. The air was chilly as the street lights lit up the night. It was already peaceful and quiet. Little to no people around as it was already late in the night. You took a deep breath and smiled. Enjoying Itto's presence and the peaceful environment.

Itto on the other hand, seemed to be down.

You turned and pat his head. Sending a curious glance to him.

"Is something wrong?" You asked him, your voice was a bit quiet but you were sure Itto heard you. He sniffed, as if he was crying.

"Do you still love me?" He asked. You stopped in your tracks.

What? Of course you love him! Why wouldn't you?

You tried to speak, saying that he was your everything and that nothing will stop you from loving him. You loved him so much.

But where did you go wrong in expressing that? What happened? Did you do something to make him think that way? Were you not expressing your love enough?

Your breath hitched as you tried stuttered. Unable to speak. The next thing you knew was that tears spilled from your eyes. Itto widened his eyes. Pain evident in his eyes. You started sobbing. You hit him in the shoulder.

"Why would you think that!" You questioned him. But it seemed more like a choked out sob as your words mushed together from crying. Tears seemed to fall from his eyes too.

You wrapped his arms around his neck and buried you face into his shoulder. Still crying.

He hugged you back as you tightened your hold on him.

"I love you so fucking much. Don't forget that" you mumbled. Itto merely nodded into your shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. But I love you so much. I really do." You inhaled his scent. Sweet hazelnut cologne.

"Please don't leave me"

"Never."

#ataraki itto #genshin fluff #genshin impact #fluff #angst #Itto #itto headcanons #itto x y/n #itto x reader #itto x fem!reader #genshin fanfic #oneshots

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world-of-socks · 2 years

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I know this fandom is dead and so is this account, but my sibling is rewatching steven universe so I was thinking about my favorite character again. So since I’ll probably never finish or edit that fanfiction, here are my Yellow Diamond headcanons:

(Some possibly sensitive topic below, tread carefully I suppose)

-Young Yellow was getting bored with each planet being the same boring thing, emptiness with the occasional monster to vanquish. Everything was so monotonous, but then she got a special planet. The life there was intelligent and interesting, even beautiful. The planet was incredible, both harsh and soft, just like her. She originally tried to fight the planet’s life, but after being utterly unsuccessful (and even calling in Blue for assistance in secret), they attempted to spy on them to understand their weakness. Instead, they grew utterly fascinated with the planet’s life, and eventually (little by little) befriended them. During this time Blue and Yellow explored the planet, having the best time of their lives. Eventually Yellow admits that she wants to cut ties with everything and everyone and just stay on her planet forever. She explains to blue that she wants her to join her, and to stay with her. Blue wants to, but she knows it could never work, she knows White would eventually find out. Yellow has a breakdown, feeling so trapped in her position as a diamond. After that, the two decided to just enjoy what time they had on the planet until White inevitably came to fetch them. White wasn’t messing around however, as suddenly she sent her own army down upon the planet, Yellow, Blue, the planet’s life, and the few of Yellow’s army that didn’t take White’s side tried to fight back but Yellow and Blue were destabilized rather quickly. When Yellow awoke she looked around at the destruction that was left. Everything she had loved about the planet was gone, colonization had already begun. In a panic fueled by grief and fear of her future, she ran to a cliff she had scouted out earlier. As she got to the edge, White and Blue were close behind. White, dangerously calm, instructed her to turn around and come home. Instead Yellow decided to go her way, one last desperate attempt to escape what she knew her eternity would be. Not to mention she had already lost everything that really mattered to her, of course Blue was still there but they had no future together like this, not really. Just as she stepped off from the cliff and began to fall, she felt piercing white light run through her. White would have her destabilized and bubbled in seconds, her gem wouldn’t have a scratch on it. She sighed, one last sob escaping before she submitted to her fate. Blue watched in terror.

-This event is a main fuel behind Yellow’s attitude toward everything. She’s submitted to the monotony of her life, but isn’t exactly happy about it. she didn’t want Pink to have a planet mainly because she knew how much it would break her spirit. It frustrated her how much of herself she saw in Pink, and she simultaneously didn’t want that broken like it had been for her BUT she was also so jealous. This event is also why she avoids White at most costs, she wants recognition for the horrible things she’s had to do, but would prefer to stay out of the way of the one who brought her so much pain. Later, she comes to understand White, but it takes longer for her to warm up to her.

-Her and Blue have been friends since they were young, as they grew up they grew closer and fell in love.

-Yellow has gloves to cover up the scars on her arms, the scars form when she uses too much of her power. The scars form more when her powers interact with water (typically if she’s crying).

-Yellow would get frustrated and destabilize her advisors sent from White very often. White also often sent a ton of different advisors and generals to watch Yellow and ensure she didn’t misbehave. Most advisors hated her leading style and grew frustrated with her very easily.

-That’s all I can think of right now, but I think about her a lot. She means a lot to me, not quite sure why I connected with her quite in the way I did, but it happened.

Perhaps this is cringe, but I honestly don’t really care

#steven universe #su #yellow diamond #blue diamond #bellow diamond #yd #bd #bellow #random ramblings #steven universe future #suf #fanfiction #white diamond #pink diamond #headcanon #headcanons #fandom

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fruit-teeth · 1 year

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Corrupt

[Ummm okay story behind this I started writing it like…a week ago, I think? Anyway I started writing it and stopped, but today I went back and finished/edited it. This is somewhat related to my multi chapter fic but you don’t have to have read that to understand this. Anyway the plot of this is Bette Mann (deceased mother of Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray Mann) getting turned demonic by the Devil himself. Okay hope you likeeee]

She was young, but seemed much older. Her eyes were sunken in, and thin dark hair hung down from her head. Her mother was long dead, her brothers did not look her way anymore, and her father was far too eager to marry her off.

She was once pretty. Once, she was elegant, youthful, and happy – that was too long ago, though. Now, her belly swollen with triplets she knew would kill her, she was trapped in a marriage that only brought her pain. No woman she'd ever heard of had ever safely delivered three babies at the same time, and despite everyone's prayers and reassurances, she knew she didn't have much time left.

She often sat alone in a rocking chair in the darkest room, the curtains drawn. The room was large and elegant – her husband had money, of course the place would be lavish. When her babies swirled inside of her, she tried to tell herself that she loved them. She did love them. She did.

But she was angry.

She had a sort of anger that she had never been allowed to truly experience. As a child, she only let it out once when her older brother threatened to harm her pet duckling and she slapped him across the face. Their father had been furious with her, and she experienced quite the lashing after the fact.

“There,” he told her firmly, watching as she sobbed mournfully on the ground. “Now, you will learn that a lady must never behave in such a brutish way!”

Brutish. That would be the word she thought of over and over when she felt the anger bubbling up.

To keep from retaliating, she would tell herself, "I am acting brutish," whenever her husband yelled at her.

She gave birth one night. Three sons, but one was snatched away. She was dead before she even saw that happen.

When she woke up, it was dark. It was very cold…but slowly getting warmer.

“God?” she called out. No answer.

There was someone else. He appeared from the floor before her eyes and pressed a finger to her temple before she could fully comprehend who he was. His flesh was boiling hot, and she recoiled in fright.

“Do not fear me,” he spoke in a low voice to her. “I had to get you before God did. He would not see you the way I do.”

“You know me?” she asked, her voice a timid whisper.

“I do,” he confirmed.

She swallowed once, and was surprised that she could even do that in the form of a spirit. Still, she questioned him. “What is my name, then?”

“In life, they called you Bette,” he told her, his eyes sharp and scheming. “First, you were someone’s daughter. Then, you were someone’s wife. Now, you are someone’s mother, and that has taken your life.”

Bette shuddered and wanted to recoil again, but didn’t this time. She stared down at her hands, noticing they were not so calloused anymore. The Devil continued on.

“They’ve never allowed you to have roles outside of those titles. I’ve read you, and I can see that. This has made you very angry, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Bette admitted, looking over her shoulder. She could only make out the shapes of the living world from afar, but she could see her own body, draped in a sheet. “But I did my best. Will they remember me?”

“Remember you?” The Devil suddenly laughed, and the sound was cruel. “Of course they won’t! Your husband will rarely think of you. You were just a tool to him, a tool to give him children, and you fulfilled your purpose.”

Bette tried to look back at the living world, but she couldn’t see it this time. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she looked back at the Devil. “No,” she thrusted her hands out and grabbed at his clothes, tugging them in desperation. “What about my children? They’ll miss me, won’t they? Someone will tell them about me! Just…please, tell me my death wasn’t in vain! Tell me I’ll be remembered!”

The Devil’s large hands pried her off of him, as if he were pulling a cat off his lap. “I can offer you no comfort,” he shook his head. “You were no one to them, and you will remain no one. Unless…”

Bette wiped her tears, looking up at the Devil. “Unless?”

The Devil grinned at her. He pulled something out of his pocket, although she couldn’t tell what it was.

“I saw your anger,” he told her. “It is…potent. Incredibly potent. You kept it bottled up for so long, it has turned into a lethal weapon. If you let me, I can make you become more powerful than any warrior within your mortal plane…”

“What?” Bette asked, confused. “What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about your rage,” the Devil explained. He opened his palm to show her a large thorn, bigger than any she’d ever seen. “Once I put this into you, the rage and sadness you feel will transform into wings and horns. You will become a powerful, demonic creature, and you will finally be respected like you deserve.”

Bette backed away, clutching her chest in fright. “No, no, I’m no demon! I was good my whole life, I was good! I was good…I should be in Heaven! I should…” tears brimmed her eyes again, and she collapsed to her knees, letting out an anguished sob.

As she knelt on the ground, weeping, the Devil slowly approached her. He held out the thorn for her to see.

“Bette,” he began. “The only reason you were good was because you were forced to be. Nobody in the living world truly loved you for who you were, and the only thing you will be remembered as was a wife and mother. Nothing more, nothing less. But…” he took her hand into his and placed the thorn into her palm. “If you take up this deal, if you become the power you are meant to be, you will become feared in this realm and in the realm of the living. What do you say?”

Bette stared at the thorn, wiping her eyes with her wrist. If she refused, she would be accepting her fate as nothing more than a dead woman, the waif who shrunk herself to be loved. She would be forgotten to the sands of time, just a doll who was made for bearing children and nothing more.

The thorn was a promise for a new story, her new self…a being made up of all of the anger she denied herself in life. She yearned to be more than a footnote in the story of her husband and children — she yearned to be whole.

She grabbed the thorn and jammed it into her chest, just as the Devil laughed in triumph. Instantly, the anger flared like a fire within her, and it could not be stopped.

Her entire being was filled with years of rage, rage which lifted her to her feet. She would no longer be the daughter whose father beat her to silence, the wife who submitted to her husband, or the mother who died for children who wouldn't even remember her.

The rage twisted Bette into a new being, a demonic force of pure terror, and for the first time in her life, she felt free.

#tf2 #tf2 fanfic #I haven’t written a short bit like this in a while #tf2 bette mann #tf2 devil #wtf is his tag #oh well #pregnancy cw #childbirth cw #tf2 zepheniah mann #I mean he’s not mentioned by name but that’s her husband so.#tf2 blutarch mann #tf2 redmond mann #tf2 gray mann

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jokerislandgirl32 · 2 years

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Heartbreak: Ziolet Snippet

youtube

Hi all, this is a scene I’ve had in my head for a while, it is not finished, but the concept is pivotal to my Wild Violets, Zach Varmitech x OC Violet Tyler, story. After some real life disappointments in the romance department for myself this last week…and an emotional breakdown…I decided to write this. I hope you all enjoy, please note there is a tw for a panic attack in this excerpt.

“Heellllooooo, Violet? Special delivery for my dearest cousin, it’s your latest edition of the ‘stalking my crush gazette!’” My cousin Paige happily announced as she bounced into the house with a newspaper and magazine in hand.

“Can you please stop it,” I groaned in embarrassment.

Paige winked at me, “when you ask him out, I will, I’m ready to be your matron of honor, you know.”

“You know I can’t do that…and you just got married, do you really want to endure another wedding?” I murmured.

“Well it’s obvious he’s not going to do it, and if he did he’d run away afterwards….I really thought you were the only one who did that, but he’s just as bad as you are, you truly are meant for each other. And absolutely, love is in the air, let’s just go crazy and have you and mom get married to your true loves this year too!”

I snorted and rolled my eyes as Paige took a seat on a barstool beside me at the kitchen counter, she flipped through a popular celebrity magazine as I scanned the paper I especially ordered from Massachusetts to keep up on the happenings of Varmitech Industries, and by extension Zach.

After a few minutes of us silently reading, Paige let out a quiet gasp, I looked to her and saw her snap the magazine shut and move it away from my line of sight at an alarming rate. She looked at me with a pained expression.

“What’s wrong,” I joked, “it looks like you’ve seen a ghost? Did your favorite boy band break up or something?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s ummm, it’s nothing…” she spoke with an anxious tone to her voice, and she looked away from me.

I felt my heart rate speed up, I knew Paige, something was wrong…she was hiding something, “Paige, come on, you can tell me, what’s going on, it can’t be that bad…”

She opened the magazine to the page she’d tried to hide from me, and she pointed at it as a tear silently rolled down her cheek, “he’s with someone….”

My heart dropped into my stomach as I chanced a look at the page she was pointing to, there was a picture of Zach, and a headline that read, “CEO of Varmitech Industries Has Mystery Lover.”

My mouth dropped open in shock, and I stood up quickly, knocking the barstool over in my wake. I grasped my V butterfly necklace as the breath I did not know I’d been holding left my mouth in a strangled sob. I backed away from Paige and the counter, and I began to hyperventilate. I covered my mouth with my hands to hold back my sobs when the tears began streaming down my face.

My quaking knees gave way, and I fell to the floor, succumbing to a full blown panic attack. Paige wrapped her arms around me, pulling me against her, trying her best to calm me. All I could think was what an idiot I’d been, I’d fallen in love with someone who belonged to someone else. Someone who would never be mine…no matter how much I wanted him to be mine.

VvvvvvvVvvvvvV

I walked by the ocean that evening fingering the butterfly necklace Zach had given me only a couple months before on the night he kissed me, the night I thought he’d fallen in love with me. I quietly sang the lyrics to “Can’t Help Falling In Love,”

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be…

Take my hand

Take my whole life, too

For I can't help falling in love with you…”

I let out a growl of frustration, and I unhooked the necklace, preparing to throw it into the ocean. I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes and a small, perfectly shaped red and black seashell that had washed ashore by my feet caught my attention.

I picked it up, ran my thumb over the surface of the shell, and I took a deep breath before I pocketed it. The shell had Zach’s colors…that had to mean something…I refastened the necklace, and whispered, “‘some things are meant to be…’”

#wild kratts fanfic #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #violet varmitech #wild violet au #Ziolet #love zach varmitech #wild kratts #depressing stuff #depressing tw #panic attack #tw panic attack #heartbreak #heartache #can’t help falling in love song #elvis presley #i hope y’all enjoy this!#despite the depressing topic #Youtube

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jeonggukkiss · 2 years

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A Jeon Jeongguk fanfic, by jeonggukkiss.

Tough | mom!reader x ceo!dad!jk with a little bit of reader x yoongi | smut, angst, fluff, slow burn, slice of life ! au series

Warnings for this chapter: semi edited, nari cries :(( , y/n also cries, angsty chap, yoongi cries too D: , stalker-ish jk, graphic depictions of being chased by a whole security team, besties... im scared to tell you this... hella sad breakup, yoongi says fucked up shit when he’s mad, scary situations that requires y/n & nari to move houses, y/n experiences a panic attack, more to be added

Chapter 3

Main Masterlist

Previous || Next…

2019

"Nari, please stop making a mess of your food." You sighed at the 3 year old, who was silently crying while trying to eat. You picked up an already wet napkin to wipe at her chin, silently praying she stops crying soon or else she'll be too sleepy for the rest of the day.

She tried to cover up a sob but you heard it clearly. Feeling guilty for scolding her, you picked her up and sat her on your lap while the television idly played.

"I'm sorry, baby, really, uncle Yoonie, Hobi, Namu and Jinnie can't come celebrate your birthday today, but, you know, at least Eomma's here." You assure her with a tight lipped smile as you rubbed her back and pushed back her hair that had fallen to her face.

"No leave E-eomma." She cries into your chest as she hugs you. Your heart broke seeing your daughter miss her uncles. You wanted to cry with her. But this was for the best. You pray that this was for the best.

It would have been better if Nari grew up without any knowledge, memories of them.

You vividly remember the fight you and Yoongi had. Last week while Nari was asleep.

"You shouldn't have told me you wanted something more if you're going to act all entitled about it!"

"Entitled?! We're in a relationship and have a daughter that's turning three next week! I'm not being entitled, I am practically acting like your girlfriend because I am! And I act like this, it's because I care about you, Min Yoongi!" You snapped at him.

"Then don't suffocate me if you care about me! And daughter?! Nari is not my daughter! Mind you, she's Jeongguk's for fuck's sakes! You're always so clingy and-and just so suffocating to be around with, don't you have a kid to take care of rather than wasting time rubbing your affection all over me?! Or are you too much of an annoying loner to do anything other than that?"

And in silence, you hear your heart break again. For the second time since 2 years ago. But this time, the pain was doubled.

"We should've just stayed as damn friends." He muttered as he looked down, breathing heavily. The whole room was filled with heaviness. Your heart felt heavy as well.

You curled your fingers, feeling the hot tears streaming down your face. You didn't want him to see how weak he made you, so you aggressively wiped them with your palms and sniffled quietly before you looked up at him.

"Yeah.You're right, I—you know what? I think it's better if we're strangers again from now on. Don't come to visit me after this or I'll leave and you'll never see me and Nari ever again. I did it once, I don't see why I can't do it twice." You kept your voice steady as you try to keep your tears at bay. He takes a moment to digest your words, then looks up and quickly shakes his head, finally realizing his mistake.

He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, regret eating at his subconscious. He sobs as he nuzzles his head in your neck.

But you didn't react, even though you wanted to hug him tightly and never let go.

You're not a fool, you were not going to allow yourself to be a fool. You ignored the red flags the first time with Jeongguk. You weren't going to again, this time with Yoongi.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I-I was just stressed about work and mad and — please don't leave me, please I-"

"The door's right there, Yoongi."

You haven't seen or heard from Yoongi ever since he went out the door. You then told the 3 other men — as nicely as you can — that they were not allowed to see Nari too. They were puzzled, hurt even, and wanted to protest but they didn't. They knew they had to respect your decisions.

Even if it hurts them. Even if it hurts you.

Your heart was still hurting, very much, but you did everything that could distract you. You always focused on Nari but sometimes even looking at her hurt you. Every time you looked at her Yoongi's voice crashed through your ear.

"Nari is not my daughter!"

You shivered and blinked back to reality, realizing that your daughter had fallen asleep on your lap, her tears were drying on her supple cheeks. You sighed and leaned back onto the couch, grabbing the blanket beside you and covering you both.

This has become a routine for you both, Nari crying because she misses her uncles, you comforting her while trying to hold back your tears, her finally falling asleep on your lap. And when she was asleep, it was your turn to cry.

You finally let out a few tears, trying to reign back your sobs to not wake up the little girl sleeping. Before, you had everything under control, everything planned. How you were supposed to raise Nari all on your own. Now you regret all your decisions.

You shouldn't have let them meet her.

You shouldn't have let them visit her, or take her out.

You should've just stayed away. You should've just kept your distance.

You should've never called Yoongi in the first place.

You cry harder, remembering everything the two of you did. How every memory you had with your daughter he was always somehow in them all.

You missed him, but you weren't going to act upon it.

So you built up the wall Yoongi had broken down, built it up twice as high so that not one person can climb over it. Built it up so strong, not one person can make it kiss the ground. Only you and Nari were on the other side of the wall. And that's fine by you.

You rested your hand onto Nari's back and shushed her as she whimpered in her sleep, probably dreaming of the man she calls appa again.

She had trouble sleeping at night, she had grown accustomed to the man she knows by now as her dad sleeping next to her, with her mom on her opposite side.

"How are we supposed to celebrate your birthdays now, baby?" You whisper as you stare into space, hand combing her hair as she sleeps soundly against you.

You had planned to take her out with Janyeon and Areum today but Areum said that Janyeon had daycare today. Which reminds you...

You have to apply Nari for daycare soon.

You were nervous, she had never been around that many kids, only with Janyeon. But Nari was smart, like really, really smart. She started to understand Korean and English words at 2 because you talk to her in both languages, sometimes you even mix them both in a sentence. Although she still blubbers, she's familiar with a few Hangul characters and English letters. You taught her shapes and numbers, and so far she's getting the hang of calling out the different colors around her.

She has shown great intelligence at her age. It made you think she's secretly Namjoon's twin.

You know she can handle anything education related, but you're nervous about how she'll cope with the sudden change of environment for her. Nari's a very open person to adults, since adults were the only people she was exposed to, you didn't know about children though.

You sighed as you sat up, carrying Nari with you as you stood, you walked to the bedroom to carefully lay her down on the bed. You tuck her in and start to contemplate your choices.

Either a, you call the helper that stays with Nari on times you went out and make her watch her for a few so you can go and apply Nari for next month's daycare program. Or b, you can just bring Nari with you.

But she's sleeping right now. Stupid, you thought to yourself.

You stood up and went out the room, walking down the hallway and into the small kitchen, sitting down at the dinner table, you picked up your phone out of your pocket and searched for the helper's contact.

"Yes, Eonni?"

"Hey, I'm sorry to be a bother but, I was wondering if you can watch Nari today?" You nervously pinched and played with your bottom lip as you talked on the phone.

"Today? Really? Isn't it her birthday?"

"Yes, but she's asleep right now so I think we'll be going out late this afternoon. I'll be quick, I just need to run a few errands."

"Oh sure, I'll be right down."

The good thing about your helper was that she was always one call away, she literally lived two floors above yours.

You wait for the helper, leaving some money on the dinner table, and draping your coat on your arm as you get your purse. When she came, you exchanged a few words and laughed before you went out into the cold Seoul morning.

You walked a few blocks, crossed a few streets, and saw the playground near the daycare Janyeon goes to. And just in time to see Areum walking out onto the sidewalk. Her gaze mets yours and after being surprised, she smiles widely.

"Eonni! Are you finally enrolling Nari?" She reaches you and wraps her arms with yours, walking the same direction with you. You nod and she squeals in excitement while you chuckle.

"I've been telling you since I saw how she pointed at Hangul characters! And did you know she speaks a bit of English!? You got a gifted one!" You playfully scoff while trying to hide your proud smile as you both walk into the daycare, kids running around and screams of happiness were heard in a few rooms.

She obviously got it from me, you thought. You didn't have a whole wall dedicated full of your medals and certificates of academic excellence recognition at your parents' house for nothing.

"Hello, welcome! Are you two enrolling?" A teacher notices your entrance and approaches you both. Your sister shakes her head as she points at you.

"I have my son enrolled here already, he's in class Sunshine 2, Go Janyeon. My sister here is planning to enrol her daughter." She says as the teacher nods happily.

"Oh! That's wonderful news! Let me assist you to our director, you're just in time, we have a new program this winter." She walks you both through the colourful hallways, stopping at the only room that looked more professional amidst the child-friendly design the whole daycare had.

"Just sit there and he'll be with you in a minute." She opens the room and points to the two chairs in front of a desk. You both comply and sit. After a few moments the director comes in.

And my, was he something.

"Good morning. Welcome to Seoul Central Daycare, or in our words, a galaxy that holds the brightest stars of the future. I heard you have a star to enroll here?" The director greets you both in a deep voice, with a smile as he sits onto the chair behind the desk.

He reaches for your sister's hand to shake it and then turns to you, stopping a bit to stare at your features, before reaching for your hand, shaking it slowly with a soft smile.

"Yes, I actually have my son enrolled here, Go Janyeon, if you know him." Your sister starts. She figured you would be clueless how to handle these kinds of situations, it was your first time handling something that helped shape Nari's future, so she had to talk and she took first charge of the situation.

"Ah yes, that cute one has the most stars this week on his goodie chart, the daycare teachers love him." The director chuckles before letting your sister continue.

"Actually, my sister here wants to enroll her daughter, she's three years old, and she's very gifted." She nods at you and you smile, again holding back the proud look you had.

"Oh? And her name is?" He turns to you and once he looks at you, he smiles again.

"Her name is Cha Nari, and I'm her mom, Cha Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you sir..." You trailed off, not knowing what to call him.

"Park Seojoon, but I prefer Seojoon, if you will, and the pleasure is all mine." He sneakily sends you a wink before smiling. You felt your eyebrows raise in surprise and you awkwardly smiled, looking down a bit as you were caught a bit off guard.

Woah, that was smooth but why do I have the sudden urge to laugh, you thought.

"Gifted you say?" He asks you, his smile never falling. Your sister notices the exchange and catches on to what the director was doing.

She stands up quickly, making you both look at her.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go to do important errands, I'll be back to pick up Janyeon later. You can handle it from here on out, right Eonni?" She asks you as she heads for the door. You nod and she smiles and winks at you before she's out.

You turned back to the director but he was already looking at you, a fond smile on his face. You blushed, embarrassed, and then you cleared your throat.

"She's a very smart girl. Last year, she started picking up on the Korean and English language, and she recognises some Hangul characters and English letters, she's very good at memorization. Right now, I'm slowly teaching her how to identify colors. She's a curious girl, and is open and enthusiastic to learn one new thing every day." You say in a faint smile, feeling proud of how Nari was progressing every day.

"I see, and when can I meet this angel if you are going to enroll her here?" He asks as he places his chin on his palm, staring at you in awe.

"Uhm, when she starts daycare? I guess?" You shrugged and smiled confusedly at him.

Why is this man flirting with me? I'm literally just trying to enroll my daughter. The voice in your head exasperatedly comments.

He chuckles and leans back, his arms reaching down his desk and he pulls out a pen and paper. He writes down something on the back of it before speaking.

"Here's an enrollment form, the school banking information is in there, Nari's information, a copy of her health records, an emergency contact, a copy of her birth certificate and other requirements are stated there, it's fine if you pass this form and the requirements on the day you enroll her. If you have questions, numbers are on there as well." He passes you the paper.

You picked it up from his hold and thanked him before folding it neatly and placing it in your white tote bag. You stood up, him following suit.

"Ms. Cha, I would like to meet you again, not professionally, if that's possible." He rounds over the table to finally stand in front of you.

Huh?

Your brain short circuited for a bit.

You still for a bit, staring at his chest. He was so tall, taller than Namjoon, you could say, your head only meeting just a bit above his chest. You looked up and saw his eyes already piercing yours.

You stare at him and your knees straighten up, feeling just a tad bit intimidated under his gaze.

"You don't think I have a husband?" You ask him in a fake joking tone with a raised brow, hiding the annoyance in your tone, he tilts his head to the side before chuckling softly.

"Cha Nari, Cha Y/N, same surnames, most mothers use their husband's name on their child but I figured already. And you came here with your sister when most moms come here with their husbands or no one at all. I think it's safe to say that I'm asking a single mother for her friendship." He smiles and holds out his palm.

You smile and nod.

Where...

Does he get the audacity?

You were not one bit swayed with his attempts to flirt. You're a tough cookie to crack. He's up for a challenge.

"You're very smart." You pressed your palm into it intending to shake his hand but instead he brought it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly as a farewell. You chuckle lightly, a bit repulsed by the director's actions.

I swear if I don't get discounts on Nari's school fees, I'm gon—

"Do you give all your clients this kind of greeting?" You interrupt your own train of thought with a fake high pitched laugh as he lets down your hand and walks beside you out into the hallway.

"Only you, ma'am. Hard to believe, I know, but I'm a very professional person." He winks down at you. You scoff and shake your head laughing. He then stops in front of a board that was filled with one by one sized pictures, you look closely and see that it was pictures of mothers, their names and their kids' names under the picture.

Pick-Up Person Board.

"Now don't be surprised. We have this board here for safety reasons, this board determines who picks up the child after school. If the mother wishes to change the pick up, she can request to add another picture. Do you mind if I take one of you today? Since you're already here." He proposes as he whips out his phone.

You nod and he told you to stand by the white wall next to the board. You fix your hair a bit and stand up straight. You smile at the camera for a few shots, he was adjusting every angle so your face was seen beautifully.

You genuinely laughed when he started to playfully angle himself and shoot like a photographer to a model.

"You're a natural, Ms. Cha!"

"Pssh! You! Are! Crazy!" You continued laughing at him while trying to stay still, but your face was all wrinkled in a happy giggle.

He's not all bad, I guess, comes commenting your conscience.

When he was done he stood up and you learned from his shoulder on your tiptoes, trying to view the pictures but his height was making it difficult for you. He laughs and shows you the pictures.

"You look beautiful, don't worry." He says as he swipes on the screen. You scoff again, his compliments having no effect on you. Turning off his phone, you both continue to walk.

You stop at the glass doors of the daycare and you turn to him. He smiles down at you in a fondness you can't decipher.

"I'll be waiting for Nari, and you, Ms. Y/N." He says as he opens the door for you. You laugh and walk out the door before turning to him again.

"Expect us to come soon, Mr. Seojoon." You wink, flirting back subtly just for the fun of it, before bowing and turning back to walk out the daycare grounds.

"Mhm, confirmed, she has you whipped." The guard at the side of the glass doors shifted his eyes between you and the man still staring at your walking form.

"Damn right, Wooshik, that woman is a living goddess." Seojoon speaks like he ran a marathon. No woman had that effect on him, not even the mother of his 5 year old son that he's divorced with.

"I'd say, when I saw her walk into the gates, I was shocked to find out she's a mom. I mean, she looks so young!" Wooshik adds as your walking form has disappeared further into the streets of Seoul. Seojoon leaned against Wooshik's guard desk and sighed.

"Her sister said her daughter's a gifted one. I think the kid's got it from her."

"Hyungs!" Called a new deep voice. They both looked at the direction the voice came from and waved simultaneously.

"Taehyung!"

Wooshik calls over the newcomer. The younger one came through the daycare's gates and stopped in front of them. He was carrying a grocery bag. He smiled and did their usual handshakes and hugs before going back to where he stood.

"You should've arrived sooner. There was a goddess who came by a little earlier before you." Wooshik nods his head at Seojoon, who was smiling at his phone.

"Goddess? Who?" Taehyung laughs as Seojoon practically swoons over his phone, fanning himself. He turns the phone to Taehyung, whose smile dropped and a shock expression now on his face.

"Her name's Cha Y/N. And she's by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life." Taehyung stares in shock at the elder's phone, he mindlessly drops the grocery bag he was holding

"Taehyung, you okay buddy?" Wooshik asks at the younger, who continues gaping at your smiling face.

"B-But— how? When?" He stutters out as he grabs a hold of Seojoon's phone. He studied your picture and swiped, seeing more of you, laughing and smiling.

"I told you, man, she was here earlier, enrolling her kid or something." Wooshik shrugged and turned to Seojoon.

"She was here to enroll her kid, and she said that the child's gifted, very smart from what I heard." Seojoon says, a smile never fading from his face. Taehyung nodded in silence, still and even more shocked. He picked up his grocery bag, and bid goodbye to his hyungs. Before he left though, he shouts by the gate of the daycare,

"Hyung! Do you think you can send me that picture?"

And then back in the dorm.

"I'm telling you, hyung! It's her!" Taehyung follows Jin around the place, screaming at the eldest as Jin tries his best to ignore him.

Everybody was wondering what's got into Tae, they had never seen him so panicky and loud unless it's his usual nonsense or something really important.

"Taehyung, she's gone. As far as I know, she left Korea. Stop believing lies." Jin simply and calmly answers the younger with a lie while he cooks. He knew what Taehyung is saying is true. But this is the best for all of them.

"Jin-hyung! Ugh! Why won't you listen to me! She—" A ding from his pocket cut him off. His eyes widen as he fumbles around, and picks up his phone.

"It's her! I'm telling you it's her!" Taehyung screams just as soon as the three other men come inside, Yoongi and Jeongguk still asleep. Jimin laughs and sits down on the dining table, waiting for breakfast to start.

"What are you on about, Tae?" Jimin asks as soon as Taehyung stands at the head of the table, looking like a CEO ready to start a board meeting.

Taehyung got out his phone and placed it onto the table.

"I found Y/N." He says as a matter-of-fact as the others went to look into his phone. Jimin gasps and picks up the phone.

"What the fuck?! Is this really her?!" He asks as he stares at the picture on his phone. The woman who was smiling beautifully at the camera. Namjoon and Hoseok looked into the phone and then looked at each other, a sheer panic expression painted on their faces.

Jin turned around and cleared his throat just as soon as Yoongi came into the kitchen, followed by Jeongguk.

"Why is it so fucking loud this morning?" Yoongi grumbles as he walks over to the coffee maker.

"It's Y/N!" Jimin shouts. Yoongi stills and almost dropped the cup in his hands. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Jeongguk's head perk up at the mention of the woman. Yoongi turned around, cup forgotten on the counter.

He, Jin and Jeongguk approached the table. And they all leaned over to look at Taehyung's phone.

Everyone in the dorm was stuck in silence as they stared at your picture, a beautiful smile painting your face as you stared at the camera.

Another message came in, it was from Seojoon again, and it was a video. Jimin clicked it hurriedly and your face popped into the screen.

"You're a natural Ms. Cha!"

"Psssh! You! Are! Crazy!" You laugh as you try to smile at the camera but fail as you giggled loudly.

Seojoon Hyung: Isn't she the most beautiful person you've ever seen? I'm in love >.<.

A small chuckle was heard in the room, breaking the thick tension and silence. They all looked up to see Jeongguk smiling coldly.

"She's still here." He says as he watches you laugh into the camera.

It was so strange for him to hear your voice again. He didn't know what he felt. Anger? Regret? Sadness? He couldn't tell. But he prays he never sees you.

He prays your paths never cross each other again.

Or else he might not be able to stop himself.

"Seojoon? The one that owns the daycare down south?" Namjoon asks as he saw the message. Taehyung nods.

"He said she'd enrolled her kid there."

"She has a kid now?!" Jimin screams in shock. Jeongguk laughed in an obnoxiously loud way and the whole room quieted.

"She's a mom now. Wow. Happy birthday to me then." He shrugs as he walks to the counter to get his morning cereal.

Yoongi's eye twitches in annoyance. Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin looked at each other warily.

But they knew they couldn't say anything, they had to respect your choices. Yoongi quickly whips out his phone as well and makes a quick text.

"Okay, uhm, let's just eat breakfast." Jin says as he turned off and took Taehyung's phone from Jimin and handed it to the owner.

"But Y/N—"

"Clearly doesn't want anything to do with us. Leave her be, Taehyung." Yoongi cuts in sharply. Taehyung bowed his head and Jimin shut his mouth.

They all missed you, wanted to see you, ask how you were doing. Jeongguk too, though he didn't want to admit it.

It's better this way.

Yoongi: Wear a mask every time you go out. Pollution is getting worse these days. It's safer that way.

You read the message Yoongi sent you and sighed. You picked up the mask you had brought with you and wore it, covering your nose and mouth with it.

It was the first attempt of his to reach out to you. But you were disappointed. You expected more from him. You weren't surprised though.

"Guys! I'm home." You call as you step into the apartment. Taking off your shoes and coat, Nari comes from her playroom screaming.

"Eomma!" She happily jumps at you and you catch her. You laugh as she fills your face with kisses. The helper follows behind her.

"Thank you for watching her, lunch next week? My treat." She smiles and hugs you warmly in response.

"Sure, Eonni, happy to watch her anytime. See you again Nari!" She bids farewell as she steps out of the apartment. You pick up Nari and walk to the couch. It was lunch time now and you hadn't cooked anything yet.

"Nari-ah, what do you want for lunch? Mommy hasn't cooked yet." You ask her as she runs around the living room.

"Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!" She screams as she runs around in circles. You laugh at her, knowing later she'll be tired and sleepy after she eats.

"Go grab your shoes and coat, baby. We'll eat out." You tell her as you got up to grab yours. She follows you to the coat rack and shoe rack, she steps on the baby step stool to reach for her stuff while you reach yours.

"Need mommy's help?" You looked down at her as you shrugged your coat on again. She shook her head and continued to put on her sneakers, only calling for your help to tie them.

You grabbed Yoongi's beanie that he left on the rack and put on Nari, and a black mask to cover her nose and mouth, solely because she gets allergies from the cold.

You strapped on her bag that was filled with her things and went out with her into the wintery Seoul.

You hold her hand as she skips along the sidewalk next to you until you stop at the chicken place you both go to. You led her in first and closed the glass door behind you.

"How many people?!" Shouts the waiter at the back at your arrival. It has always been like this, they cook in the back and you have to shout out to get their attention.

"Two please!" You shout at the waiter in the back as you waved at her, notifying where you'll be sitting.

There weren't too many people today, probably because the weather's freezing. But Nari enjoyed winter, she loved snow even though it caused her to sneeze all the time. She loves being out when it is this time of year.

"Here you go, the usual?" Your waitress comes with lemonade and glasses before asking. You nod at her with a smile and she nodded. It was only a while you had waited and next thing you know your food was here.

You and Nari ate noisily, she sat in her high chair next to you and played with the crayons the staff gave her. You both laughed and you comfortably talked to her how you would to your friends, it was your strategy to help her learn both Korean and English.

"Nari, what part is this?" You ask as you hold up a thigh part from the chicken platter. She giggles and grabs it from your hands before munching on it.

"Tae part." She laughs with her mouth full trying to say thigh but you stilled as you heard the words fall from her lips.

Tae. Taehyung.

You shook your head, it's probably a baby thing, saying things out of nowhere. You paid it no mind. You continued to eat like your daughter hadn't said your old friend's name that she doesn't have any knowledge of.

"Nari, do you wanna go to school? New experiences, honey. Learn new stuff and maybe even play more?" You brought up the subject as she sips her sippy cup where you transferred the lemonade.

"Play mommy?" She asks you as she looks up, her big doe eyes and lips glistening. She looks so much like Jeongguk. She was so beautiful.

You nod and brush her hair. She smiled at you with barbecue sauce all over her mouth. You laughed and wiped them off with a napkin.

Little did you two know that someone was watching you out the door as you both ate.

"It's her. It really is her." Taehyung whispers as he stares at you in awe, noting how much you've changed.

"She got prettier." Jimin gushes as he stares at your face, noticing how much you've matured in the last few years. Taehyung nods in agreement.

They had both followed you here. Jin sent them out to get take out for lunch. They were on their way to a dimsum shop but stopped when Taehyung saw the familiar color of your coat when you rounded a corner. All thanks to the picture Seojoon sent him.

And when you leaned back to call at the waiter, they finally saw her.

They saw Nari.

"Oh my fuck! Tae! There! That's her kid!" Jimin pushes the other as he jumps, pointing at the cute baby, face messy from all the barbecue sauce.

Nari looked up from her chicken and saw the jumping man outside the shop. She laughs cutely and you look at her confused.

"What's so funny, baby?" You ask her as you follow her line of vision to the outside, but nothing was there.

"Jump!" She says as she continues to chew on the chicken meat. You chuckle at her wild imagination as the waitress brought more rice.

You spoon fed her the rice, knowing she was just going to snack on the chicken and ignore the rice. Just exactly how Jeongguk does. She picked up his traits more than yours.

"Nari, after this, do you want to go to the park?" You ask her as she chews more. She nods and smiles at you, teeth stained brown from the sauce. You laughed and continued to eat.

"We have to tell Jeongguk." Jimin says to Tae as they went into the dimsum shop. Taehyung stares at him weirdly and falls in line.

"Why? They broke up years ago, Minnie. There's no point." Taehyung shrugs Jimin's proposal without a care, following the line to the counter as the shorter man follows beside him.

"But, did you see how old the kid looked? Probably about 3 or 2 years old." Jimin continues. Taehyung looks at him, curious about what the older man was trying to say. He cocked a brow and beckoned him to continue.

"What if it's his kid?"

Taehyung laughed loudly, startling the people in line with him. Jimin smiled apologetically and kicked Taehyung's shin lightly, making the younger stop from laughing.

"Jimin, don't be stupid. She can't be Jeongguk's daughter. If it was then she would at least reach out for child support." Taehyung says as he crosses his arms on his chest, looking at the shorter man.

"I don't even know anymore, Tae. You know what, let's just go order and go home." Jimin nods, shutting down the idea quickly as they rounded up the counter.

"Come again soon, you two!" Said the waitress as you and Nari walked out the restaurant, hand in hand. You waved and walked forward, Nari skipping alongside you.

As you rounded the corner towards the bus station, you suddenly saw so many people in front of the street you were about to walk, each having a different item in their hands. Cameras, lights, mics and reporters and many more surrounded the area and you pulled Nari up to carry her, scared to lose your daughter in the sea of people.

You pull both of your masks up and walk silently, trying to stay camouflaged in the crowd.

"Mr. Jeon! Happy birthday! May we have a minute of your time?!" You heard a reporter shout far behind you.

You gasped in shock and like your body had a mind its own, turned around to the other side of the wide street to see a man, clad in a formal suit and tie walking out the building, the reporters swarming the area as security tried their best to distance them.

Jeongguk.

He looked... pristine. Like a protected gem. His hair was slicked back as he nodded and smiled charmingly at the reporter, who tried hard not to swoon.

He looks up for a second, feeling something off, before he skimmed the area and then, all of a sudden,

His eyes met yours.

You squeak before hurriedly dashing off, trying your best to run with Nari in your hands. It was a good thing you weren't wearing heals today. Or else that would be the cost of your downfall.

"You! Hey! Who—" You heard him shout distantly but before he had the chance to run to you, his face was being shoved in microphones and cameras.

You ran and ran, feeling your knees burning from running while carrying Nari's weight with you. But you didn't stopped running.

It wasn't long until you heard multiple footsteps behind you, so you tried your best to confuse them with your directions, rounded all corners and avoided familiar crosswalks until you reached your apartment complex, noticing how the footsteps behind you seemingly so distant now, they lost you somehow.

You ran straight to the stairs, ignoring the people in the open elevator that stared at you. You placed Nari gently on the ground as you reached your apartment door.

You fumble with your pocket for the key and opened your apartment door. You ushered Nari gently inside and quickly followed, locking it and peeping through the peephole. You closed the curtains and turned off the light, you were suddenly grateful you put the shoe racks inside the house or else the people outside might know you're home.

Nari stared at you curiously, wondering why all of the sudden her mom had run back home when you were both supposed to be going to the park. But she just watched you, she's very smart to sense something was wrong and kept quiet.

You looked down at her and sent a panicky smile, putting up a finger against your lips as you signaled her to be quiet.

You then heard a group of distant footsteps from outside your door. You quickly looked into the peephole just in time to see a group of men looking around outside your door.

You stifle a gasp. With fear coursing in your veins, you quickly hold on to the lock of the door. You then see the tallest of them pull out his phone and look like he dialed a number, he didn't bring it up to his ear though.

"Did you find her?"

"My apologies, Mr. Jeon. We lost her. We also asked the building's staff if they had a tenant under the name..." You froze at his next words.

"Cha Y/N."

They knew you. They knew who you were. And they saw you with Nari.

They were trying to find you.

You distinctly heard the other voice on the phone sigh.

"That's fine. Seoul's not that big for me to search. And she can hide all she wants, I'm going to find her sooner or later." The person on the phone chuckles and the guard agrees.

"Yes, sir. We'll try our best to find her. We've already got the area scouted." Your eyes widen in shock. You looked down at Nari now silently playing with her dolls in front of you, not seeming to want to leave your side.

How were you going to go out now?

It was a good thing that your apartment was under your sister's name, Go Areum, it saved you at this scary moment.

You peeped the peep hole again and saw that the men were now looking at your door. You refrain from squeaking in fright as you remembered a person can only look through the peephole from the inside. You prayed silently to whoever was up there for a miracle.

"Kim Jisoo, you should leave before we get sued for trespassing on paid and protected properties. But keep the place under surveillance." Says the voice from the phone. You sighed in relief and continued to listen.

"Yes sir, follow through, boys." He says and ends the call. He signals the men to leave, making him the only one left in front of your door. He looked down the hallway.

"Cha Y/N, I know you're here. I'm going to find you." He silently says in the empty air, taking a moment to study every door in the hallway, before turning and leaving.

You sigh and finally slumped back to the wall. You breathe in heavily as you start to relax.

"I have to make a plan." You look at the floor before you look at Nari. You had to get her out of here, it wasn't safe for both of you to stay here now that Jeongguk knew your whereabouts.

Jeongguk was not going to stop, especially since he sent those men after you. He must've had a reason why he wanted to find you.

You shut your eyes as you thought of a plan to get Nari out the building without you coming out with her. You think and think until a plan finally finalizes itself in your head.

You pulled out your phone from your coat and dialled his number, even though it was against your will, you had to. To keep Nari safe.

"Yoongi oppa?"

"Y/N? How are you? Do you need anything? How's Nar—"

"Oppa, I'll answer your questions later, but please, I need your help." You shakily say as you feel your hand tremble from the nerves.

You glanced at Nari starting to lay on the floor again, wanting to sleep from being full and having her energy spent from all the skipping she did earlier. You held up your phone to your ear with your shoulder as you picked up Nari and laid her on the couch.

"Sure, anything, what is it?"

"Can you come by and pick up Nari, bring her to my sister?" You say as you went inside to your room and brought out a duffle bag. You started out by getting Nari's clothes, all her belongings.

"What!? Why? Are you leaving again? Y/N, if this is about our argu—" You sighed, cutting him off.

"No, this is far more important than our argument. Please, oppa, just help me." You were on the verge of crying as you rashly folded Nari's clothes into the duffle bag, making sure everything fit so you can pack more of her needs.

"Then— fine, I hate it when you're being secretive. What time should I come by? I'm in the studio right now so it might take me 2 hours?" You heard his fingers clicking a keyboard.

"Perfect, just as long as you come. Bring no one with you, make sure no one can recognise your face. Act subtle." You advised him as you started to pack a few toys that your daughter can't live without.

"Fine. Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"I, oppa... Just— just come, please." You ended the call before your tears escaped your eyes. You sobbed as you then brought the duffle bag to the living room, packing up Nari's diapers and bottles. You squeezed everything inside the duffle bag.

You couldn't bring the wheeled luggage, it was too eye-catching. So this will have to do. You can bring the luggage out once Nari wasn't in the apartment.

You took your phone again and sent a text to Areum.

Y/N Eonni: are you free today?

AreumUgly: Yeah, what's up

Y/N Eonni: Meet up with Yoongi and take Nari to mom and dad's

AreumUgly: Why what's wrong, you were fine this morning

Y/N Eonni: I'll explain later , can you do that for me?

AreumUgly: Sure sure, just text me the deets.

Y/N Eonni: okay, thank you. I promise to explain everything later.

You finished packing the duffle bag, but you weren't finished with your plan. You checked into the living room to see if Nari was still sleeping, which she was.

You then went back into the bedroom, crouching under the bed and pulled out the box you promised to never open up again years ago.

"Just this time. This. Time. Only." You say to yourself as you open the lid and see what once was your obsession.

Hair products. Different dyes, tons and tons of large bottles of hair dyes. There were a few extensions, but that won't help you.

You looked at your healthy, brown hair and sighed. You had to completely change your hair since it was the only thing they saw of you.

You picked up a large bottle of bleach considering your waist-length virgin hair, a 30 volume developer, and an almost grey shade of lilac hair dye.

This was the best option.

Jeongguk knows how your hair looks in different shades of blond and red. But not this. You've never tried lilac.

"Just today. After this, you go back, Y/N." You warned yourself as you pulled on the gloves.

You changed into an old tattered shirt and looked at the time. You then started to bleach your hair, wasting no time as you hurriedly applied the product down and up the length of your hair.

It's true when they say old habits die hard. You were coloring your hair like how you would three years ago.

You coloured everyone's hair. The boys' more especially, they loved having their hair color changed ever so often. Your sister had also become your muse back then. You loved it when you were bleaching and dying a person's hair. It was your kind of talent.

After you had set the bleach in for 20 minutes in two sets, you then proceeded to color your hair in the dyes you chose. After letting that set for another 30 minutes, you went and rinsed. You weren't surprised with how well the color lifted on your hair, it was grown out and was free from chemicals. You blow dried and brushed your hair and looked into the mirror, observing yourself.

Honestly, you admitted you could've done better, the lilac wasn't that lively so your hair looked all smokey gray with just a tint of lilac. But vanity wasn't important here.

Escaping from Jeongguk was.

You brushed a hand through your hair, sighing as it laid in front of your eyes. You were trying to escape your obsession with hair dyes because you had almost fried all of your hair off from dying it too much all those years ago.

You went into the living room, seeing Nari still asleep on the couch, you didn't take off her coat since Yoongi was taking her out again. You put on a beanie on yourself, as the cold chilly winter air was starting to seep into the apartment.

It was 3 in the afternoon when Yoongi knocked on your apartment door. 20 minutes after his arrival he was out the door with Nari, the duffle bag on his shoulders. 30 minutes after his arrival, he and Nari were probably in his car and you were now packing the luggage, filling it with your clothes and more of Nari's needs, folding everything into tiny pieces for more space.

You got your white tote bag and checked to see if all the things in it earlier were still inside before you slung it over your shoulder.

It had all happened so fast.

After you were done, you changed your normal brown coat into a jet black one. You changed into black slacks and a gray turtleneck, before taking off the beanie and putting your hair into a low ponytail, letting your long fringes frame your face at the sides.

You knew Jeongguk still thinks that you hate your hair up considering how much the guards knew so much about you, of course he must've told them how you always looked like.

But you were one step ahead. Jeongguk may be a CEO, business wise, but you were a mother, streetwise. You were the smart one when it comes to being sneaky, well, you're actually just really smart in general.

You were closing the lights and were about to leave the apartment, luggage in tow, when you heard a ding from your phone.

AreumUgly: got Nari

AreumUgly: *photo attached*

It was a photo of Nari and Yoongi inside your parents' living room. Nari and Janyeon were sitting on each of Yoongi's thighs as your father had his arm over the man's shoulders and your mom was smiling in the back as she was holding up a pot.

AreumUgly: Eomma's cooking dinner when we got here, you should hurry

Y/N Eonni: On my way

You stepped out and locked the apartment door. You checked your surroundings before you walked, wheeling the luggage you had and went inside the elevator.

You got out of the apartment and made sure to act natural.

The sun was setting as you walked, giving you its remaining light to make you feel safe as the sidewalk was still a bit crowded. You waited on the bus stop, adjusting your mask as the bus rolled in.

You sit on the singular seat, not wanting to be next to people.

Every moment since you walked out your apartment, you were walking on your tippy toes, observing everything and anything before moving cautiously.

You were alert, more so than usual. Ever since you became a mom, you always have to be up on your feet.

You leaned your head onto the bus' window, watching the scenery outside. You wished your life could just magically go back to normal.

Just you, your daughter, and no Jeongguk.

But fate said none of that. Here you were, a newly dyed-haired single mom on her way to her parents' town, running away from her CEO ex-boyfriend who was the father of her 3 year old.

"Y/N! My child! Oh goodness! What happened to your hair?!" Your mom rushes to you as soon as you walk in the living room. She runs her hand through your hair, looking in disbelief at your now smokey lilac hair.

"Please sit down, Eomma, I'll explain everything." You pulled in your luggage. Yoongi noticed your presence and stepped in quickly, taking the heavy suitcase from you.

You thanked him quietly, you knew he was stealing glances at your hair, but he didn't question it.

"Eomma! Hair!" Nari screams as you step into the living room, rushing to you.

She pulled you down by your hand and started to run her hands through your soft silver locks, making you chuckle. You pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her forehead as you wrapped your arms around her tiny frame.

"You're safe now, baby. Mommy missed you, though." You pulled back and pouted playfully at your daughter, making her giggle and kiss your cheek.

You smiled tiredly and stood up as Nari went back to play with Janyeon in his room.

"What do you mean safe? Y/N, what's going on?" Your father asks you as you finally sit on the couch. You sighed and looked at the two toddlers, making sure they were busy with playing.

Yoongi sat next to you while your parents and sister sat in front of you both.

"Jeongguk, he knows I'm still here." Yoongi's brows jumped and he leaned in.

"How?" He asks softly, noticing how shaken up you were.

You feel your eyes glisten with unshed tears, and when Yoongi puts his hand on your thigh like he always does, that's when you burst into tears. He quickly wraps his arms around your shaking frame and comforts you.

"Nari and I went out to eat for lunch, then when we were walking, you know the wide s-street where all the large corporate buildings were?" You try to say as you hiccup, Yoongi's hand rubbing your back. They all nod and wait patiently for you to continue.

"There were press everywhere, apparently J-Jeongguk was there t-too, he saw me and N-Nari, so I picked up Nari and ran. He s-sent guards a-after us, so I-I ran through different streets and I avoided crosswalks, when I lost them, I ran b-back to the apartment, but they arrived as soon as I locked the d-door." You sobbed into Yoongi's shirt, feeling the man press a kiss onto your head as he shushed you.

"That's why you wanted Nari out of the building." Your sister says in realization. You nod and sniffle before continuing.

"One of his guards called him and they spoke literally in front of my door. He told t-them to have the building under surveillance. They were roaming o-outside my hallway when they mentioned my name." You slowly calmed down as Yoongi continued to ease your shaking body.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned down to wipe your tears onto the sleeve of his shirt, knowing he wanted you to do it. That's how he knows you're calming down.

"Did they see what you looked like?" Your mom asks, making you shake your head as an answer.

"No, but they know my hair color and what my coat looked like." They all nod, now knowing why you had suddenly changed your hair, and why you weren't wearing your favorite brown coat.

"Oh my Y/N, you must've been so shaken up. Let me make you tea, okay? Try to relax. You and Nari can stay here as long as you need." Your mom stood up and kissed your forehead, you nod and watched her go to the kitchen.

You felt Yoongi's arms tighten around you, pulling you closer than before. You looked at him and saw him looking down on the floor.

"I'm going to kill that bastard." He says in gritted teeth.

"I'm bailing you out if you ever do." Your father quips angrily, making you and your sister let out a laugh a little. You leaned back as your father stood up as well, following after your mom to finish making dinner.

"I'll go check on the kids, you should calm down first, Eonni." Your sister says as she left you and Yoongi both on the couch, going into the kids' room and closing the door after.

Yoongi leans back with you, now resting on the couch as his arms are still wrapped around you. You sighed and closed your puffy eyes as he ran his hands through your hair, admiring how the color suits your complexion completely.

"Your hair suits you." He says softly. You smile and leaned closer till your forehead was now onto his shoulder.

"Really? I thought brown was my superior hair color?" You say in giggles, finally calming down as your breathing returns to normal. He airily chuckles.

A moment of comfortable silence looms over the both of you, before he speaks again.

"Am I forgiven though?" He says as he leans back to look into your red eyes. You studied his face a bit before nodding. He sighs in relief and smiles at you.

"But we're just friends now." As soon as you said those words his smile faltered. His brows furrowed and he looked at you before laughing.

"You're kidding. You're still my girlfriend, you're just getting back at me." He said and he shook his head, laughing airily again.

You felt your eyes glisten again, your silence making him look at you in all seriousness, disbelief and heartbreak written all over his perfect face.

"Y/N, no. Please no." He said as he saw that you were serious.

He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

You shook your head as tears fell down your cheeks once again.

His own tears cover his cheeks as well as he sobs, shoving his face into your shoulder as you both cry. He shakes under your hands, body rocking as his sobs escape him.

You pull him back, seeing his face red and blotched with tears. You wiped them with both of your hands before he caught yours in his, intertwining them.

"Y/N, please don't do this to me. I can't lose you. I can't lose both you and Nari. P-Please, I love you and I need you both. Y-You're my family, I—" His own sobs cut him off, making him bury his face into your shoulder again.

You shush him, crying silently as you comfort him the same way he did to you earlier.

"You were right, oppa, it's better this way." You comfort him, holding him as he shakes his head.

"I wasn't mad at you, baby, I was just s-stressed from work, I-I didn't mean to take it out on you, I didn't mean to say all those, I'm sorry, Y/N. P-Please, don't leave me." He cries into your shoulder.

"Oppa, I still love you even if we're not together. You're someone I know I can count on. I trust you. You're my best friend." You assure him as you rub his back, not wanting to cry anymore.

As much as it pains you to do this, you knew you had to. It would save you and Yoongi from future heartbreak. You love him, wanted to be with him and marry him, probably have more kids. You can see a future with him. But this was the right thing to do.

Focusing on Nari was your top priority. Maybe when the time was right, you and Yoongi could have a chance.

And if that time comes, you hope you're ready to love him with all of your heart again.

"Y/N, I love you. Don't do this to me." He begs you as he looks up from your shoulder, shaking hands coming to hold your face. You shook your head and smiled at him, feeling your heart ache.

"You know I love you forever, whether you're my best friend or my boyfriend or even my enemy, right?"

He nods and leans his forehead against yours, shutting his eyes as he cries silently.

"You know you're still an important person in my life?" He nods again.

"That will never change, Yoongi."

Your parents watched you both from the kitchen, your sister was also watching you both from the crack of the door.

They love Yoongi and treat him as if he was your husband, a member of the family. And seeing you both like this, it broke their hearts.

It broke yours.

"Eomma, sing?" Nari asks as you finally lay next to her on the bed in your old room. Yoongi lays on her other side as he drapes an arm around her torso, cuddling both of you to him.

He didn't want to drive all the way back home, your family also insisted he stayed here for the night. It was also technically still Nari's birthday, so you let him.

You scoot closer, wrapping an arm around her torso as well and you sighed. You closed your eyes and started to pat her thigh, lulling her to sleep just like every night as you started to sing.

"Hoping for more good days

If you believe me then say one, two, three

If you believe then say one, two, three

Hoping that everything will change when we say..."

You trailed off, waiting for Nari to say the next words. When you heard nothing, you opened your eyes and saw that both Yoongi and your daughter had their eyes closed. You smiled and kissed their foreheads before lying back down and closing your eyes.

"You're still the singer I fell in love with." Was the last thing you heard from Yoongi before sleep took over you.

Ring! Ring!

Came from your phone making you jolt awake. You looked at your wall clock near the door. 3:12 midnight. It seemed fairly dark outside, the moon was the only light coming from the window.

You were annoyed, disturbed from your sleep, because of being a light sleeper, it peeved you. You untangle yourself from the two sleeping people, grumbling as they were moved. You looked at them and saw that Nari was now all snuggled up into Yoongi's chest and Yoongi was hugging her.

Well, that's one good sight to see waking up. You smiled and leaned over to the bedside table.

You picked up your ringing phone without looking at the caller id, grumbling as you tried to wipe the sleep off your eyes.

"Who is this? Don't you know that it is very rude to call in the middle of the night? People have to sleep, you know." You snapped at the phone.

"Y/N? Is Yoongi there with you?" Jin's voice rang through your ears as he talked. You then quickly apologized and said yes.

"Y/N, listen carefully, if you're at the apartment, you have to leave now, Jeongguk—" Jin's voice got cut off as another contact was now calling your phone. You sighed in annoyance.

Why is everyone calling in the middle of the night?!

You click hold and answer before talking.

"Hello? If this is someone I know, I'm trying to sleep, can you gu—"

"I'm going to find you Y/N." An oh so familiar voice talks, cutting you off in complete silence. You almost dropped your phone in shock.

"Who are you? How did you get my number?" You tried not to stutter and remain calm. You knew who it was, you just wanted him to think that you didn't know any of his plans yet.

"Still naive you are, I see." He chuckles. Your nervousness was now replaced with anger, but you didn't let your emotions get the best of you.

You gripped your phone in your hands as you open your mouth to speak.

"Listen here, kid, I don't know who the fuck you are or what kind of prank call you're doing, I'm a mom and I could beat the literal fuck out of you if I wanted to but I'm smarter than that. If you ever try to harm me or anyone I love, you're gonna have to face me and my lawyer in court, dipshit. So stop calling me, you fucking weirdo." You snapped at the phone and ended the call before he had the chance to answer.

You looked at the screen and noticed Jin already ended the call and just sent text messages. You sighed in exhaustion, feeling the adrenaline flow out of you as quick as it came. You ignored them, planning to read and answer them all in the morning.

You laid back down on the bed, and as soon as Yoongi's arms wrapped over your torso, you quickly fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Jeongguk was in his room at the dorm, sitting on the chair of his desk as he stared at his phone in pleasant surprise.

Who would've known you had it in you to be a bad bitch?

He rarely ever heard you cuss before, he only saw you angry twice and it was a scary sight. When you were around them or when you two were alone, you have always been an innocent good girl.

Maybe he had underestimated his knowledge about you. He was the naive one to think that after all these years you wouldn't have changed one bit.

He was so wrong. He was now starting to doubt himself, doubt his plans to find you and bring you back. But he knew one thing for sure.

He wasn't going to stop. He was going to find you, no matter how long it takes.

And meet the little one that he so badly wanted to know who's the father of.

Author’s Note:

supportive reader:

AAAAAAA IT IS FINALLY TUESDAY SO HERE *gently puts chapter 3 onto your dashboards* ok so the next chapter will be in a more past timeline so no yearly flashbacks to Nari and Jeongguk's birthday ;(

but I hope you all enjoyed seeing Nari's past birthdays in the meantime :)

Jeongguk acting like this is creepy but uhm a bit hot? Wtf im so fcukedup anyways

so sorry for the unrealistic hair color scene i know that achieving a light lilac hair tone in one day is nearly impossible with virgin dark hair but since it's fiction i say whatever happens happens heheheehehheehheheheheheheeh

Also So Sad we aren't going to see YoonY/N anymore

:( or are we? O.o

Taglist: @imanerdychubbyqueen @softiegguk @fan-ati--c @theblueslytherin @tigolebittiez @mwitsmejk @babyrosieareroses @awseokjin @ppeachyttae @000123-sakuraland-000123 @mwitsmejk @placeoftime @singingmangoes @yvesismywife @rjsmochii please make sure your mentions are open so I can tag you!

send in an ask to be added to the Tough taglist!

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! LIKE AND REBLOG :)

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waka-chan-out · 3 years

Note

Okay so I heard you were looking for requests for short stuff so do you have any headcanons for getting just. Absolutely railed by Haikyuu team captains, please and thank you. (I really love your stuff and I hope you take this!)

Rough Captain Headcanons

sub captains edition here.

you heard correctly!! (though this did not end up being very short lmaoo) i am a whore for the haikyuu captains so you’ve come to the right place. and thank you so much! i’ll take any opportunity to talk about my boys.

i included literally every single captain i could think of, including the karasuno captains after daichi and our timeskip kings. have fun.

post-timeskip, obviously.

content warnings: mostly gn! reader (but occasional fem!), lots of pet names, lots of teasing and degradation, hair pulling, spanking, three (3) creampies god i hate that word, hickies, handcuffs, etc. all of these are established relationship.

so i don’t know how to describe what exactly these headcanons are? i don’t think all of the captains are the “railing” type. however, these are basically just headcanons for when they go their hardest and either accidentally or purposefully get carried away.

Sawamura Daichi

likes to cage you under him and just lose it. will loop an arm around your waist and lift you up into him, so your back arches and he can hit the perfect angle.

will. not. let you look away. grabs your chin. pulls your hair. will move you however he needs to so he can look you in the eyes while he’s pounding into you.

“Shy now, princess?” Daichi said, tipping your chin to look at him. “Don’t hide. You look so pretty like this.” A sharp breath left your lips as he pressed his hips farther forward, grinding into you and sending a shock of pleasure through your body. “That’s it, sweetheart. Taking it so well. Let me give you what you deserve.”

Ennoshita Chikara

he’s a hair puller. like he doesn’t think much about it but he really likes pulling you by your hair back against his chest so he can whisper dirty shit in your ear. sometimes he gets a little too aggressive with it, so if you’re into that kind of thing, he’s your man.

possessive as all hell. you’re going out for drinks with coworkers? he’s leaving a hickie right at the collar of your top so everyone can see that you’re taken. coming out to dinner with his old teammates? he’s going to have an arm on you all night. loves to pull you in and remind you of things you did the night before to get you flustered.

very particular about how you’re positioned. will pin your arms above your head and readjust his grip several times. pushes your legs out of the way. grabs your jaw and moves your face where he wants you. somehow he doesn’t realize how hot that is until you tell him to his face. he’s still confused about it but has learned to love that you love it.

Chikara ran a hand up your side and let it rest in your hair for a moment before tugging hard. You gasped as he pulled it back and to the side, exposing your neck so he could leave marks as he pushed deeper inside you. You let out a whimper and tried to loop an arm around his neck but he grabbed your wrist and pinned it down.

“Patience, love. I want everyone to be able to tell I fucked you senseless.”

Yamaguchi Tadashi

he tries to dirty talk, but it always turns into praise and repeating how much he loves you.

aggressive and whiny, begging for more even though he’s the one giving it to you.

prefers when you ride him, but will do anything you ask of him. loves being told what to do. thinks you directing him to go faster or slower or a little to the left is the sexiest thing on the planet. he will fuck the life out of you if you just ask nicely.

“Harder, Tadashi,” you gasped. He grunted and snapped his hips as fast and as hard as it seems his body would let him.

“God, you’re gonna make me come. How do you feel so fucking good?” You smiled at the praise and pulled him in for a kiss. His breath hissed against your face as he continued pushing into you. You wrapped your legs tight around him and he let out a whine, pressing his face against yours. “I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.”

Oikawa Tooru

he’s a biter

likes to be lazy and dirty talks while you ride him usually, but every so often he shifts and will fuck you until tears are running out of your eyes.

will lay on top of you while you’re on your stomach, an arm looped around your neck, and just fuck you into the bedsheets. he’s wrapped up in his own little world, choking on high pitched moans and gasping for breath. like i said, he’s a biter, so you end up with marks all over your neck and shoulders. he’s just a fucking baby. the sounds he makes are so whiny and breathy it sounds like he’s the one getting destroyed instead of you.

“Ngh, fuck,” Tooru gasped. His breath was hot in your ear as you panted into the mattress. “Feel so good around me. You’re just begging for my cum, aren’t you?” You wanted to laugh and tell him you weren’t the one begging, but you couldn’t. Your breath was being torn from your lungs with every thrust. Tooru sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he pounded into you harder, letting out a soft whimper against your skin. His voice raised in pitch until he was practically whining. “Hah—gonna come soon. You feel so good.” His voice trailed off as it reached a whimper and he buried his face back against your neck, body shaking in anticipation.

Kuroo Tetsuro

spanking spanking spanking

seriously, hits it from the back and is not nice about it.

kuroo likes pulling you closer by your hips or ankles, turning you over whenever he feels like it, whatever. he just likes being able to toss you around and position you so he hits you just right every time.

“What? Trying to get away? That’s not how you take it, is it?” Kuroo grabbed your hips and yanked you flush against him. You cried out and buried your face against the bed. “There we go.” He laid a slap on your ass and laughed at the small sound you let out. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not going anywhere.”

Bokuto Koutarou

he fucks himself dumb. accidentally goes so hard he’s whining and can barely hear you if you ask him to speed up or slow down.

likes missionary because he likes being as close to you as humanly possible and it gives him the best leverage to just.....lose it. gasping against your face and babbling about how good you feel. going off of that, he has a very hard time pulling out. lord have mercy. use a condom or get on a reliable birth control because as much as he tries, he’s never going to have any self-control in the moment.

he forgets just how strong he is sometimes, which results in bruises and weak limbs and occasionally trouble walking. he always apologizes profusely and offers many kisses to make up for it even after you insist that you’re fine.

“Baby, please let me come inside you. Please. Oh my god,” Koutarou whined, tightening his grip on your thigh and snapping his hips harder.

“Yes, Kou. Please.” You brought him down into a kiss. You were both panting and Koutarou was moaning, practically vibrating against you as he got closer. He began moving erratically, pounding harder into you and making you cry out.

“M’sorry. Fuck. I’m gonna come.” His chest heaved as he thrust into you hard once, twice, and let out a long groan. You could feel him twitching inside you, hands clutching your skin so hard it was almost painful. He mumbled praise and curses and nonsense against your lips, slowing his movement until he collapsed on top of you. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead and tucked his face into your neck. “Thank you. I love you. Oh my god.”

Futakuchi Kenji

likes holding your legs and moving them around to see what gets the biggest reaction from you. doesn’t care what position you’re in but loves when your legs are closed and lifted so you’re extra tight around him.

his goal is to see you as desperate as possible. he’ll do whatever it takes to get your eyes rolling back, your hands clutching at anything they can grab, mindless pleading, all of it. he just wants to watch you fall apart because of him, and i gotta say, he’s good at getting his way.

“Oh, that’s it. Look at you,” Kenji cooed. He gently wiped a tear from your face as he readjusted your legs with his other hand, holding them tightly to his chest. “Coming apart already. I’m just getting started. Are you going to be good for me?”

Daishou Suguru

finger sucking finger sucking finger sucking. loves watching you gag so he’ll shove two fingers deep into your mouth and strokes them over your tongue. he also just does it to shut you up whenever he feels like it.

likes edging and teasing a little too much. will hold off from fucking you until you’re genuinely angry at him, so wet that he can push in with no resistance. then he makes it up to you by fucking you until you’re sobbing or your eyes are rolling back in your head. you’ve never had an orgasm with him that didn’t feel like you might not live to see the end of it.

“You like that, don’t you?” Suguru said, thumbing over your bottom lip as his cock slid between your legs, not pushing in like you desperately wanted him to. “Like when I use you like this? Should I just come like this? I don’t even have to fuck you to get myself off.” You let out a pathetic noise in protest and he laughed. “Maybe another time. Today I’ll be nice and give you my cock.” He dragged between your legs again and stopped at your entrance, slowly sinking in and pulling a relieved sigh from your throat. “There we go. That’s my fuckin’ girl.” He slid two long fingers between your lips, pressing on the back of your tongue and nearly making you gag. “Now stay quiet while I use you.”

Terushima Yuuji

i.......i gotta mention the tongue piercing. i’m sorry. i know he gives the most enthusiastic, sloppiest head and FOR SURE owns a vibrating tongue ring. what a whore. i love him.

i feel like he’s messy. like he’s into spitting and really sloppy kissing and cum play and everything. will come in your mouth and tell you to hold it there while he fucks you stupid. sometimes kisses it out of your mouth. he’s a freak and i like it.

“Yuuji, fuck.” You could practically hear your body vibrating, past orgasms still lingering under your skin.

“Yeah? Tell me where you want me to come,” he said. You groaned as he abused the perfect angle inside of you and smirked down at your strained expression. “Not gonna talk to me?” You stayed silent as your head tipped back against your pillow. He chuckled and grabbed your face. “Open.” You blinked up at him and did as you were told, sticking out your tongue. He leaned forward and spat into your mouth. “I’m gonna come inside of you. Yeah? That what you want?” You nodded and swallowed, eyes pinched shut and voice frozen in your throat. He laughed and snapped his hips harder. “That’s right. Anything for you, princess.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi

so we’ve all agreed: horse cock ushijima, however, he usually uses those powers for good. very gentle, very eager to please, exactly what you’d want in a man.

he’s not a hard dom, but sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with how much he loves you that he forgets how strong he is. pounding into you with his whole heart and whispering in your ear how much he adores you between groans. very vocal. a little too rough. definitely feels very guilty when you’re sore the next day but if you kiss him and tell him you liked it....he may be willing to throw caution to the wind again sometime.

Wakatoshi didn’t speak much, but the room was far from silent. He made the prettiest sounds when he was lost in you, grunts turning to long moans, made even sweeter when they were hummed against your lips. The groan of the bed mixed with the strike of skin against skin, white noise behind your already muddled thoughts. Wakatoshi pushed your legs farther toward your chest and leaned down, laying his face right against your ear.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice seemed to rumble through your entire body. “You’re so good to me, darling. I love you.”

Kita Shinsuke

very soft. y’all are never gonna catch me writing hard dom kita shinsuke. HOWEVER. he is so eager that sometimes it’s a little too much for either of you. like he doesn’t realize how aggressive he’s been until you’re both literally unable to catch your breath and have to just lay in silence for a while. will ask you very nicely if you’re okay and get you water and anything else you need, but he will have this little grin on his face the whole time because he’s so happy to be able to put you both in that state.

Kita’s face scrunched up into a tight wince as he came, as his hips slowing into hard, deep thrusts that made your vision go white. Your grip in his hair was so tight you were sure it hurt, but you couldn’t help it when he was scrambling your brain with every touch. He stopped moving and you realized just how hard both of you were breathing. It felt like you couldn’t fill your lungs, body so spent that it couldn’t even do what it needed to do to survive. His braced arms on either side of your head were shaking, and his eyes were still shut tight.

“Shin,” you said, as steadily as you could through your gasping breaths. He didn’t answer. “Shin, baby, you okay?”

He exhaled hard and smiled, then let himself fall on top of you.

“Perfect. I’m—you’re perfect. I love you.” You laughed and combed your fingers through his hair, then pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too.”

Meian Shūgo

what to say about this man......

i feel like my opinions about what he likes and doesn’t like are kind of hot takes, because most of the stuff i see with him is hard dom. but. i raise you: overly excited switch meian shūgo.

captain meian shūgo likes to be teased and edged within an inch of his sanity. he likes when you talk shit and order him around and he’s DEFINITELY into handcuffs. however, he always pays you back for it. even if he’s still cuffed up and a little pink in the face from embarrassment, he will absolutely use you. very loud. loves when you leave scratch marks. loves leaving hickies everywhere.

You were almost shocked by the high moan that left Shūgo’s throat as he finally sunk into you. His face screwed up in pleasure and concentration as he withdrew his hips and drove them back against you.

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this. You tease me all that time but you can’t wait for me to fuck you like this, can you?”

“That’s some tough talk for someone whose wrists are still bound,” you said through a smile. He let out a breathy laugh and braced his hands on your stomach, still connected by leather and a short chain.

“Doesn’t keep me away from you.” He raised an eyebrow and pushed deeper inside you. “I can still use your body when I’m all tied up.”

Hirugami Fukurō

pulling a headcanon from his brother’s list and saying he likes getting his hair pulled, which means he loooooves going down on you.

will leave your legs feeling like jelly because he makes you come at least three times, and each one is hard. like, you forget where you are and can’t breathe for a few minutes afterward.

will cock warm you until you’re begging him to please, please move. proceeds to fuck you slowly, but so hard and so deep you’re feeling him between your legs the entire next day.

“Done already? That’s no fun,” Fukuro teased. You were still shaking from the last time he had pushed you over and he wasn’t helping the situation, thumb still circling your clit after already abusing it with his tongue.

“Come on. You know how to take me.” He continued easing his cock into you, dragging out all of the breath remaining in your body.

“Please,” you whispered. He smiled and leaned closer.

“Please what, love? Do you want me to stop? Use your words.”

“No.”

“Then tell me what you want.”

“Want you to—“ You gasped. “—fuck me. Please.” Fukuro grinned and positioned himself so he had more leverage over you.

“Good girl.”

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hoodiewithhorns · 3 years

Text

━ using your safe word scenarios ★

characters : hajime iwaizumi, tetsuro kuroo, keiji akaashi.

there will be a part 2 & 3 coming soon!

edit : p.2 is out <3

m.sterlist + requests box

▲ cw : not proof read, angst, use of safeword, “red” used as the safeword, clit spanking, mean!doms, hurt/comfort, established relationship, forced orgasm, jealousy, oral m! receiving, facefucking, foreplay f! receiving, degradation, slight punishment if you squint, aftercare/reassurance , all characters are 18+, MDNI ▼

Kuroo

- you weren’t necessarily in a good mood to be fucked roughly by him

- you just wanted some soft passionate sex with kuroo

- You assumed he’d figure out what you wanted due to him knowing you better than yourself.

- But you were wrong..very wrong.

-Not wanting to disappoint your boyfriend you played along.

- biggest mistake.

〜 ☆

you bobbed your head on his cock while he groaned at the slow pace. you were taking your time today since you weren’t in the best mood to be shoving him down your throat. you thought he take this as a sign of you wanting things slow soft and sweet, instead he took this as a sign of you being bratty, a brat who deserves punishment in his eyes.

“you little brat.” he forcefully shoved his cock down your throat. You gagged in response feeling your eyes become glossy, tears promising to spill at any given minute, looking up at him with pleading eyes hoping he’d show some form of mercy. but of course, he didn’t. tightening the grip on your hair he moved you back and forth on his cock causing you to gag and your breathing becoming heavy.

you heart ached in your chest as you tried to push him off, but to no avail. a dark chuckle leaving his throat as he watched you struggle, a sight he would commonly enjoy. “such a bad girl today huh? maybe i should go find another goodgirl. one that’ll actually listen.” you tried to shake your head as fat tears streamed down your face, the thought of him replacing you being one your biggest fears. did he mean that? just cause you weren’t in a good mood he was gonna replace you? you thought to yourself noticing the grip he had on you loosened a little. you could move away now and so you did. pulling away from his cock trying to catch your breath only causing him to get angrier. “why are you being so bad today? why cant you be a goodgirl and-“

“Red!” you choked out a sob as more tears fell from your face staining the bed sheets beneath you. sitting up, your palms resting on your thighs as you sobbed. the room went silent with the only sound present being your soft cries alongside with your occasional sniffles. confused he lifted your chin up, you pathetically looked up at him like a helpless little puppy. he finally understood what was wrong, mumbling a few curses as he got closer to you, sitting you on his lap as you cried into his chest.

“easy now baby. i’m so sorry...” he whispered thanking whatever was above that he hadn’t lost you, feeling horrible for not picking up the obvious signs you weren’t in the mood for any of this.

“d-do you really wanna l-leave me?” your voice was hoarse from one getting your throat fucked and two crying. hugging you tighter and feeling nothing but regret. each cry you let out tugged at his heartstrings. he never wanted this how could he have been so blind? you were his little baby he wanted to protect every chance he got. now you were here. sobbing into his chest all because he didn’t realize you weren’t in the right mood today.

“never prettygirl. i’d be devastated without you in my life... I didn’t mean that I promise.” he pulled you away from his chest to face you. kissing the few tears you had left on you. even with tears pampered all over your face, to him you still managed to be pretty. even if it hurt him since he was the reason for all this, you could tell he was on the brink of tears too. he couldn’t imagine a life without you without his precious girlfriend in his life he’d be a train wreck.

“i-i...i just wanted us to go nice and gentle tonight..i didn’t have a good day today..but i didn’t want you to be mad since you like it when its rough so..”

he let out a chuckle at your last sentence causing you to look at him in confusion. “yeah being rough is nice and all but its only nice when you’re in the right mindset for it. you should’ve told me you weren’t feeling it tonight baby. If you wanna get fucked nice and gently by me you should’ve just said so my love.” he says planting a kiss on your forehead.

you smiled, reverting back to your previously cheery self making kuroo more than happy. he rested his head on top your shoulder “if you want, we can try again baby. this time i’ll give it to you nice and sweet..you’d like that wouldn’t you my pretty baby?” he whispers into your ear planting kisses down your neck as you let out a whimper feeling him smirk against your neck.

“mm-mhm please tetsu...”

he wastes no time wrapping his arms around your waist as your cunt feels him hardening again. “whatever my baby wants who am i to deny?”

akaashi

- the thought of using your safeword never occurred to you when you were with akaashi

- in fact he suggested it just in case things took a turn you didn’t like

- tonight was different though you were his innocent girlfriend who just wanted to treat him the way he treats you so lovingly

- wearing nothing but his shirt accompanied by a cute pair of panties feeling confident about your plan to please your boyfriend.

- though it doesn’t go according to plan,

you saw him sitting on the bed reading a novel still in his formal clothing. You were feeling particularly needy tonight learning a few new things you read from the internet a week ago on how to please your boyfriend sexually. you did however feel a bundle of nerves fill you up, but you just assumed it was because this was something you’ve never done before to anyone.

akaashi was not only your first, but he was your first boyfriend your first everything when it came to romance. now, putting all your insecurities aside, you were going to try out what you learned tonight on your beloved boyfriend!

walking towards him, you crawled on top of his lap, arms wrapped around his neck to pull him in for a sweet kiss. he smirked setting his book down on the nightstand while taking his glasses off as well.

“Can I help you pretty girl?” he questioned placing his hands on your hips. “oh nothing...i just want you tonight..is that okay?” you asked, your innocent voice making akaashi smile. you were just so cute and pure in his eyes. you jump in excitement ready to initiate your plan to please your boyfriend. you started kissing him slowly yet passionately, grinding your wet cunt against his slowly hardening cock through his pants.

he opened his eyes to clearly understand what you were doing. to his shock what he assumed was correct. His innocent girlfriend who had no knowledge on how to please her boyfriend grinding up against him. maybe you were just being extra needy? he told himself. not longer after he snapped back to reality as he felt you pull away from him only to kiss down his jaw leaving a trail of soft kisses.

His cheeks becoming red as your soft lips traced down to unbutton his shirt. “so handsome..” You said kissing his chest as you went down to his abdomen. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this, but.... Your not gonna do what he thinks you are right?? his own girlfriend who was too shy who cried at the first attempt to sucking him off?? no he must be getting ahead of himself.

looking down once more to check up on you, he finds you unbuckling his pants letting his cock spring free. his mouth agape seeing your head already lick his precum nice and clean, pumping him a few times to get all his precum out. he shudders as your wet tongue touches his cock, giving him kitten licks here and there. taking a deep breath, shoving him down your throat all in one go, a small gag escaping from you, squeezing your eyes tightly trying your best not to cry.

humming, you bobbing back and forth making him grunt at the waves of pleasure you were giving him. Still, he felt uneasy. who taught you this?? he was always the one guiding you, teaching you how to do things yet here you were sucking him down your pretty little throat. head thrown back his groans mixed with his thoughts, he kept overthinking the reasons as to how you picked up on this.

did Bokuto teach you?? you two always got along so well..sometimes leaving akaashi to third wheel, but why was he thinking about that now??

“shit..” he grunted as he felt his high approaching. He tried to pull your head back so he wouldn’t end up cumming in your mouth, but you stayed on his cock till he came.

smiling at him, you licked your lips, swallowing his cum. leaving him surprised at everything you’ve just done. you’ve never did any of this nor tried to. It hurt the first time you tried to give him head now here you are taking him down your throat? He couldn’t believe it.

he wanted to get to the bottomed of this quickly.

“dirty girl.” he spits out flipping you to the other side of the bed, pushing your head down to the pillow putting your ass up with your cunt in full display for him. you winced at the sudden aggressive force.

“who taught you all those things you little slut?”hooking his finger onto your soaked panties to push them aside, he shoved two fingers deep inside of your dripping hole making you whimper at the painful stretch, not giving you enough time to adjust as he pumped into you.

“k-keiji w-wait!!” you whined screwing your eyes shut to fight back your tears, while he started pumping his fingers at an inhuman pace, he hovered over you, your back to his chest while his head rested on your shoulder.

“i asked you a question, so I expect an answer.” his voice was cold and stern without a sound of love or worry. the stretch of his fingers were painful especially with how he was practically scissoring you open. your eyes rolled at to the back of your head feeling your climax approaching, but it hurt so much you weren’t used to such a rough pace.

akaashi always took his time with you. Going slow and easy, praising you, calling you his angel or goodgirl for taking him in so well. but now he was none of these things.this felt like a completely different person to what you were use to.

“mm’ n-no one! keiji- p-please s-slow down it hurts!!” you sobbed only making him click his tongue at you, your heart sank feeling foggy and uneasy.“you probably like that it hurts huh? you’re dripping around my fingers you filthy slut.” he never used a tone as harsh as this before. never calling you names or degrading you in general. the pain in your chest overlapping the pleasure as more tears fall.

“n-no not a s-slut!! p-please stop! it hurts please keiji please-“ you begged feeling your stomach tighten as he kept fingering you till you screamed, squirting all over the bed sheets. “dirty slut.” He pulled out abruptly from you causing you to choke out another sob. your body trembling at this point as you pant out in desperation to form words scared of what he might do next. “N-no more please I’ll be good i p-promise just please..” you begged him once again, hoping he’d notice the pain you were in...he didn’t.

“no. sluts like you don’t get to make decisions like that.” He was about to pull your shirt off until you screamed and kicked “red! red! r-red!!” he moved away only to watch you curl in on yourself, hugging your knees for comfort, refusing to look him in the eyes. “baby..?” he said softly trying to move you to face him to his horror you flinched shrinking in on yourself.

“keiji... why were you s-so...mean to me i only wanted to make you feel good..you always make me feel good so why did you..” immediately, he scooped you into his arms rocking you back and forth as if you were a toddler. you cuddled up against his chest as he felt your tears fall on his chest.he didn’t mind of course. “shh its okay..its okay..” the voice he commonly spoke to you coming back, soft, reassuring, just how you liked it.

“baby..im sorry i.. I didn’t mean to be so mean..i just got scared you were maybe..well someone might’ve been teaching you these things..” you froze pulling away to look at him.

“w-what? I didn’t learn that from anyone..id never let anyone teach me or touch me but you keiji! i just..read some stuff about it online...and I wanted to test it out..” you admitted through sniffles still rubbing your tears away. He sighed as he hugged you again running his fingers through your hair.

all you wanted was to please your boyfriend from just that, his heart skipped a beat at how sweet you were being, but the feeling was overshadowed by feeling so stupid for letting his insecurities take the best of him.

“I’m sorry baby.. I promise to never speak to you like that ever again..you’re my sweet girl and I love you so so much.. you were just trying to do something nice for me..thank you i appreciate it my love..it felt really nice you did good.” He cupped your face in his hands, peppering soft kisses around your face.

he smiled as you giggled at the ticklish feeling, sighing in relief.

“ i love you, my sweetgirl. ”

Iwaizumi

- he got home pissed off since he saw you chatting and giggling with mattsun.

- he needed to blow off some steam

- he didn’t mean to be so mean he really didn’t

-he was usually a soft dom but today..he was everything but soft to you.

“ filthy fucking whore. what were you doing talking to mattsun huh?” his thrusts were sharp, painful, not being prepped well enough by him making the stretch of his cock burn through your gummy walls. feeling the air in your lungs start to leave you slowly as tears streamed down your face at iwaizumis cold , heartless, tone. there was not a single trace of him, not a sign of his love. you weren't trying to make him jealous, you just spend sometime to get to know mattsun just a little more since he was friends with your boyfriend never expecting him to react like this.

snapping back to your current situation, you arched your back letting out a loud cry as he slapped your puffy clit. “didn’t i ask you a fucking question? or did your dumb slutty brain already get fucked out of you huh?” he wrapped his hands around your throat thrusting harder and deeper in you.

his tip painfully hitting your cervix with each thrust making you cry at the pain. you tried pushing him off with the little strength you had in you, sobbing out an apology making him roll his eyes.

“tch, what? you think a little apology is gonna change the fact you were all “buddy buddy” with mattsun? did you forget who fucking owns you little slut?” landing another harsh slap at your clit causing you cry in discomfort. everything around you made you feel light as if you were gonna pass out from the cruel words iwaizumi spoke to you. feeling helpless as there was no sign of your once loving boyfriend.

“maybe i should’ve invited him over, let him have a turn at ruining your slutty little cunt.”

Finally, having enough you cried out “r-red..” it was soft, gentle, easily could’ve been unheard if it wasn’t for how closely iwaizumi payed attention to you. he halted his thrusts pulling out of you completely, eyes draining of all lust and jealousy converting to concern mixed with regret. he rushed to put back his boxers on, cuddling you against his chest.

you didn’t push him away, no you could never. he was the man you loved and treasured more than anything. you were hurt obviously, but still wanted to seek his comfort.

“i-i dont like m-mattsun haji..i only like you..only you..” your voice sounding broken. he let out a deep sigh pulling you closer to kiss your head.

“i know baby i know... i was just jealous..you get along so well with mattsun i..went too far on you..i’m sorry you didn’t deserve that baby” his voice sounding faint but full of comfort.

“i just wanted to get t-to know him...i didn’t mean to make you mad haji..”

“i know baby shhh its okay now..i’m not mad anymore.”he cooed kissing you softly. you nodded letting your last set of tears fall onto his chest.

slowly shutting your eyes and falling asleep in the warmth of his chest.

him on the other hand was completely mortified at your sobbing accompanied with your sniffles it echoed through his ears replaying like a broken record each time the memory got to you saying your safeword.

“r-red..”

he never thought he’d reach that point for you to have to tell him that. he let out a few tears that night hating himself for hurting you. you forgave that very second he apologized but him on the other hand? he didn't..no he couldn’t.

let’s just say, he didn't get much sleep that weekend.

akaashis is long asf (im sorry i just love him sm) and iwaiuzmis is short but i love these boys sm.

i still am taking requests all links are above and down here. remember to drink water. oh and heres the m.sterlist in case you missed it <3♡

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