I feel like a lot of people who watch the show view Hawk and it through a 2023 lense. When we should consider what the environment was like decades ago.

Yes, this exactly!

It's scary even NOW to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community, but I don't think a lot of people understand just how BAD it was back in the 50s. We will never fully understand what it was like to be queer back then and the lengths queer people had to go to just to survive.

I don't think any of us are really allowed to judge any of the queer characters in this show. Yes, Hawk included. We should be empathetic towards them and trying to understand WHY they are doing what they're doing. Because they ALL have their reasons. They are all just victims of the time period who are trying their best. And yeah their actions seem extreme and harsh to us in 2023, but back then that stuff was necessary for survival. You can't BLAME them. We need to not analyze and judge these characters based off of 2023 standards and perspectives and we need to take into consideration the time period in which this show is taking place.

And some people need to show more empathy and understanding towards Hawk. He doesn't ENJOY having to live a lie and hide part of himself. He doesn't ENJOY breaking Tim's heart. He doesn't ENJOY the fact that him and Tim can't be together. He doesn't ENJOY having to squash his love for Tim. He doesn't ENJOY having to do anything that he's done. He is only doing what he feels is necessary for the survival and wellbeing of himself AND Tim. Cut the man some slack.

If it’s alright, I have a question about Vil and Epel’s relationship. I understand that the accent changing plot line is just a cultural politeness thing that didn’t carry over outside of Japan, but the other parts of changing Epel’s behavior don’t quite make sense.

Why exactly is Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food? And act very soft-spoken? I can’t see how these fit in with the politeness aspect of the table manners, no abrasive language, etc. It just doesn’t give a very good impression, especially in combination with the unfortunate implication of giving Epel a Southern accent for the “change your accent” plot point.

Before I get to responding to the questions posed by this ask, allow me to explain for those who may not be familiar with this controversy! This is so we can all go into reading this post from the same starting point.

I've made titles to denote the explanation of background knowledge and to denote responding to the questions actually asked to me! If you're already familiar with the Vil-Epel-accent debacle then feel free to skip the first section!

Disclaimer: I’m speaking on these concepts as I personally understand them. However, I am not a native Japanese speaker so I’d advise that you consult additional resources with a better understanding of the language and culture. Two resources I enjoy are Yuurei and MysteryShopTLs, who have both also addressed Epel’s accent and how it was localized.

The Accent, EN vs JP

It’s well-known that Epel is a character with a heavy accent who has been explicitly told by Vil, his dorm leader, to alter the way he speaks. In EN, Epel speaks with what appears to be a southern (as in, “from the southern United States”) accent. Therefore, when Vil tells him to stop speaking in the accent, it feels as though Vil is shaming him for his southern roots and culture. This has also led to fans (especially of the EN-only sphere) thinking that Vil believes Epel’s accent is “unrefined” and “makes him sound uncouth/uneducated”, which is why Vil tells Epel to cover it up. I have even received asks conveying as much in the past (here is one example).

In the original JP, Epel speaks in a way that does not closely resemble any real-world Japanese dialect but rather a blend of them. If you ask a native Japanese speaker, they would likely tell you that it is difficult to understand what Epel is saying and that it sounds as though he is speaking rudely or too casually. People could genuinely take offense to the accent because it can be mistaken as something else entirely. This is obviously very different than the real-world accent (which many people can still understand and wouldn’t perceive as rude) that Epel was localized to have. The decision to give him a southern accent, then, does not completely carry over its original JP connotations into EN.

What remains the same in both EN and JP is the reason Vil provides for telling Epel to adjust the way he communicates. As he says in EN, “Speak properly" to which Epel immediately assumes the command comes from a place of elitism/classism and Vil thinking Epel's manner of speaking is beneath him. Vil responds with, "Stop misinterpreting my instructions. I have nothing against your home or its dialect. What I object to is your attitude. Being proud of your home is all well and good, but there is a time and a place for that. The way you address your superiors is entirely unacceptable." (Keep in mind that before this, Epel was the one instigating a fight with Vil and subsequently got his ass whooped for disrespecting an upperclassman. As the victor, he declares that Epel must do as he says--that's the "culture" of NRC. The weak obey the strong, so if Epel wants to do whatever he wants, then Vil challenges him to beat Epel in a fight. Until then, the loser must obey the winner. Epel agrees to these conditions.) This may be a little hard for western English speakers to wrap their heads around, but MANY Asian countries, Japan included, run on a hierarchical system which is embedded even into their languages. Japanese, for example, has honorifics to denote the relationship between the speaker and the listener, as well as variations on the same word depending on the context ("boku", "ore", "watashi", "atashi", etc. are all valid ways to refer to oneself, "onii-san", "onii-sama", "aniki", "kyodai", etc. are all ways to refer to a brother, whether blood-related or not). In some cases, it's considered rude to call others by their first name unless you know them well, and even then it's not common to see a first name without an honorific. This is not as strictly adhered to in English, which is perhaps where a cultural disconnect occurs. What Vil is referring to in his instructions to Epel is what is known in the world of linguistics as "code switching", or changing how one communicates to suit the situation. Part of code switching is changing one's "register", or the level of formality you use. So for example, I could use a colloquial/casual register when I speak with my friends, but I may shift to a more polite and formal register when I speak with my professors, a boss, or an older relative. Vil, then, is critiquing Epel for not speaking politely to his seniors (something which is expected in Japanese culture, but not expected among those in similar grade levels in western cultures).

In the Harveston Sledathon event, we get to venture to Epel's hometown and hear how the locals speak. Indeed, we get more instances of people who speak in the same way Epel does. It's the Harveston dialect, which is so distinctive that it basically sounds like a whole different language. (There are also languages like this in real life; consider Mandarin and Cantonese; technically they are both "Chinese" but Mandarin and Cantonese speakers would not be able to comprehend one another even if they use the same written language). However, it's notable that Marja (Epel's grandmother) and the mayor of Harveston are able to code switch flawlessly into a more standardized tongue. They explain that this is a skill they have developed because it helps in communicating with tourists/visitors to the village and for whenever they travel to the nearby city to sell their wares. This reinforces Vil's point that there is a "time and place" for certain ways of speaking, which Epel needs to consider.

Macarons and Soft-Spokeness

Accent thing aside, some English-speaking fans take issue with Vil's stern treatment of Epel, particularly in instances in which Vil seems to be exerting significant control over his underclassman's behaviors. (Japanese-speaking fans largely do not hold the same sentiment.) Examples of this include Vil forcing Epel to state that his favorite food is macarons, as well as making Epel present as soft-spoken even when he's just among his peers. I will now be addressing both of these points. TO BE CLEAR, I am NOT trying to defend Vil but rather I'm just going to speculate about why the circumstances are the way that they are and/or why perceptions of his attitude may differ.

Starting with macarons! It is stated in Epel's official profile and by Epel himself in his Birthday Boy vignettes that his favorite food is yakiniku (Japanese grilled meat). However, macarons are also listed as his favorite food, and this is notable because he's the only character with two foods listed instead of just one. In the aforementioned Birthday Boy vignettes, Epel is quick to qualify his love of meats with, "Well, I do have one thing I like even more. It's, ah, macarons." When asked what he likes about them, he says, "They're... cute. And sweet! And they come in lots of different flavors." His voice here sounds hesitant, so it's not clear whether he's being entirely honest or not. He even admits in a whisper that, "[Macarons] are not very filling, but still." Epel again complains about macarons being good but not very filling when he has some in the City of Flowers/Fleur City. To this, Azul asks, "Why do you look so unimpressed, Epel? I thought macarons were your favorite food. [...] But was my intel mistaken? Would you prefer something with a stronger flavor profile?" Epel insists he is fine, and Azul responds with, "Excellent, then my intel bears out." This creates some confusion over whether Epel actually likes macarons or not. I doubt that the information Azul has on others is inaccurate. Plus, Epel states of his own free will to the player (who is interviewing him) that he also likes macarons. This leads me to believe that while Epel doesn't outright hate macarons, he does like them alright (but still prefers grilled meat more). The only thing he seems to have an issue with is how unsubstantial macarons are as a food item.

Now... why does Vil make him state that macarons are his favorite food instead of grilled meat? It's sort of touched on in Epel's Ceremonial Robes vignettes. In them, Vil chides Epel for his poor table manners and asks him to state his favorite food. Epel responds with grilled meat/barbeque, which earns him a smack from his dorm leader. (Vil actually smacks Epel multiple times in these vignettes as punishment, which ended up being another source of ire in the English-speaking part of the fandom; such a thing is more common in Asia and its media, so it's not seen as too outrageous in Japan.) "Do my ears deceive me?" Vil says. "I could've sworn I heard a word unfit to be spoken in this noble dorm. I will ask you again. As a student of Pomefiore–a dorm founded upon the tenacity of the Fairest Queen–what is your favorite food?" From this dialogue, it can be surmised that Vil's reasoning for drilling the macarons in as Epel's favorite food is because it is something that is more befitting of the regal "image" of the Fairest Queen and the dorm made in her honor. Vil seems to regard grilled meat as an inelegant food which does not suit the Fairest Queen nor Pomefiore.

The second thing the asker brought up is Epel's soft-spokeness. I guess I'm a little confused by this??? Soft-spokeness is a part of being polite; it ties back to volume control (ie "indoor voice" being softer than "outdoor voice"). I also don't recall a specific instance of Vil chastising Epel for NOT being soft-spoken at all times. He allows Epel to be loud sometimes and raises his voice himself. I feel like volume is not something that Vil harps on as much as other things like cursing or speaking politely to the correct authority figures (unless, of course, volume is important to the level of politeness required for the current conversation). I could be wrong on this though, so please let me know if you know of any specific instances of Vil being mad about Epel speaking loudly that I may have missed! What I do find odd is how... consistently (?) Epel tries to keep polite even when Vil is not around to monitor him. When Vil and Epel first met, Vil makes it clear that there is a "time and place" for Epel's accent, and it's not when addressing seniors. So... by the logic, shouldn't Vil be okay with Epel acting more relaxed or rowdy around first years or more casual settings in general? Why does Epel need to maintain the facade of being polite even when not in the presence of his superiors? Why does Epel seem to even act fearful about word of his misbehavior/rudeness getting back to his dorm leader and even make others swear they won't divulge the incidents to Vil?

One theory I'll propose is the entirety of book 5. Vil was insistent then on having Epel in the NRC Tribe. He wanted to weaponize Epel's cuteness, which he believed could compete with his long-time rival, Neige. This probably fed into Vil's demands for Epel to appear and act dainty and innocent, traits which Neige effortlessly possesses. Vil literally even refers to Epel as his "Poison Apple" that will help him defeat Neige. After book 5, Vil seems to have eased up on his rigidity. However, I will caution that this explanation may or may not align well with vignettes and/or event stories, which do not always work in a cohesive timeline with the main story.

Perhaps a more all-encompassing explanation is... this is probably because Vil is just very strict about how his dorm members present themselves at all times, since they are expansions of Pomefiore and of himself as the leader. Both the macarons and Epel's attitude are reflections of the dorm he (a celebrity who is very aware of the public eyes on him + his reputation) is affiliated with, and Vil won't have them poorly represented. He is the dorm leader, so he has the "right" to rule and impose his ideals as he sees fit. It's a similar situation to Riddle forcing the Heartslabyul students to follow silly, nonsensical rules (because they're tradition) or risk a scolding or a beheading. And again, Epel is following along because (as established in book 5), he has agreed to submit to Vil’s orders until he beats Vil in combat.

At the end of the day, I don't think Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food is a huge deal. Is anything that big lost in claiming you like something that isn't your actual favorite food? It's not like Vil is forcing Epel to claim he likes eating something that would actually harm him (like, if Epel had an almond allergy or something).

What's more dubious is how VIl governs Epel's attitude and temperament at seemingly all times (to the point of eliciting some apprehension from Epel). Given the most generous reading, maybe it's Vil's way of teaching Epel maturity and how to keep his voice down since Epel had zero of it and acted loudly brazen when he first enrolled. It doesn't help Epel if he's quiet and well-mannered in very limited social situations; it has to be "generalized" or expand to other scenarios for Vil's lessons to truly be instilled in him. (Like... what would happen if Vil DIDN'T hold Epel in check? His classmates would not be able to understand Epel's speech, and he might get into trouble by picking fights with others.) This is a life skill that Epel lacks, unlike his grandma and the Harveston mayor, and Vil's teaching it to him via "tough love" (though whether you approve of his methods or not is up to interpretation). Recall that Vil also teaches Epel to embrace femininity as its own strength and to disregard outdated gender norms--this could be considered another "lesson". I doubt that anything Vil imposes is done maliciously, but rather comes from a place of wanting others to be better and to shine their brightest, even if that path is difficult or painful. Epel, as the rebel in this circumstance, of course does not enjoy being told what to do and misbehaves in small ways. There’s a limit on how much he can misbehave though, as it would hurt his pride to be reminded of his failure to one-up Vil. He's like a kid that doesn't want to be caught cussing or acting out by his parent. It can be seen as immaturity and an unwillingness to change or to grow up, but it can also be seen as someone who wants to freely be able to express themselves or to be their "truest" self. Epel is rowdy and headstrong, and it's difficult for him to repress these parts of himself. Given the least generous reading, Vil is oppressing and stifling Epel in many ways that extend beyond what his dorm leader position should reasonably allow him to do. In fact, a popular fan translation for book 5 is "The Beautiful Oppressor", as Vil is frequently shown limiting the liberties of his NRC Tribe members during their training arc, not just Epel's.

Which is the truth here? Why do those in the English side of the fandom decry Vil's actions and side with Epel whereas the Japanese side see little issue with this?

I wager that this predominantly comes down to, again, cultural differences. Many English-speaking fans are based in the west (particularly the USA and Canada, where the EN servers first launched), places which emphasize individuality and self-expression. Of course they would be more likely to take Epel's side, as he's the one trying to be himself and stand out in his own way. Meanwhile collectivism--an ideology which stresses conformity with a group--dominates in the east. They are more likely to see no problems with Vil's actions because, to them, he is acting in the ways he is to "guide" Epel and show him how to best "fit in" with Pomefiore and at NRC. I believe the whole "being soft-spoken" thing also ties back to cultural differences; speaking loudly is something else that can be considered rude in Japan, so it's entirely possible that Vil encouraging Epel to be soft-spoken is another element of politeness that did not translate well to English (as the western world tends to be much louder and more animated in their conversations).

What it boils down to is that the way Vil and Epel's relationship was written did not work well for a western audience, whose values and perspective is VERY different from the original audience TWST had. It appeals far more to a Japanese fanbase than a western one, and has resulted in many misunderstandings or anger about Vil's character because of this.

I'm not sure if I managed to adequately explain everything, but I hope that this at least helps you to see from a different perspective!!

how is "nationalism of the oppressed" mythological

In a dual sense - 1) like all nationalisms, it relies on central myths, and 2) the idea of an innately revolutionary "nationalism of the oppressed" is itself mythical, not a useful analytical or political tool but basically a way of handwaving difficult tactical questions.

All nationalism is in some sense myth-making - it posits an underlying, intangible unity among a group of people with highly diverse and divergent interests and traits. This is part of the reason why nationalists so often talk in the abstract language of "national spirit" - abstraction is kind of the point. This intangible unity doesn't *have* to be ethnicity, it's frequently (for example) the highly nebulous concept of "culture." But the inevitable slide towards ethnicity - and I do think it is inevitable - is unsurprising.

If you identify the unifying force of a people, the thing that makes it a "nation," with something like language/religion/culture, those things are fairly fluid both in space (taking a variety of different forms across different places) and time (changing over time for any number of reasons). This is especially the case because those traits are basically "open," at least theoretically: other people can move in, learn a language, convert to a local religion, and/or learn the techniques and style of local cultural production (and in the process change the character of the culture). So the supposed unity of "culture" is very obviously made up. (It's also worth noting that, insofar as nationalism is coextensive with statecraft, we often see efforts to preserve or create a "national culture" or "national unity" that leaves out or represses certain groups and practices; figuring out what constitutes "the nation" is a highly arbitrary process.)

Ethnicity is also fake - it is a "myth of common descent" - but that quality counterintuitively makes it a more stable foundation for a nationalist political project, because it is 1) derived from something in the past, making it harder to contest or observe, and 2) an immutable trait within the myth's context. You can't identify or convert or learn your way into being a part of the ethnos, you either are or you aren't. This makes for a much more stable boundary line around who is included or prioritized within the polity and who isn't.

As for why "nationalism of the oppressed" is mythological: it is not a meaningful historical category. When people invoke it they are collapsing a bunch of different projects and movements, some of which are conservative and some of which are revolutionary. I also reject the idea that nationalism's goodness is contingent on whether it is practice by an oppressed or oppressor group and nothing else - lest we forget that Zionism was once considered a kind of "nationalism of the oppressed."

For the socialist or the revolutionary, nationalism should be considered a kind of tactic; it is not a good in itself. Any revolutionary or liberatory movement is going to have to make decisions about what they want the movement to look like - its positions, rhetoric, propaganda, goals, etc. Nationalism is a historically popular means for doing things like rallying people to your cause, establishing basic principles for statecraft, cultivating a new political and social culture, etc. This is basically Frantz Fanon's argument in Wretched of the Earth - consistent with his arguments in his previous book, Fanon rejects the notion of a prepolitical national unity. He does not want to wade around in the primordial soup for a "true history" for colonized countries to return to or emulate. But nor does he reject nationalism as a strategy for combating colonialism on the field or in the body. Rather, he wants a class-driven national culture that is emergent from within the process of anti-colonial resistance and that ultimately gives way to an internationalist, universalist humanism once its purposes have been achieved. It's an extremely qualified kind of argument. I don't totally agree with it, but it's an argument that I can wrap my head around and endorse in the broad strokes, because above all it is talking about nationalism as a means towards something.

The kind of people who bastardize Fanon and try and recuperate him into their insipid microwaved politics have this entirely fictional idea of nationalism as an innately revolutionary end, that if you put nationalism in the hands of the right people it will automatically gravitate towards liberation and will not introduce the same kind of problems that the nationalism of colonial powers or capitalist countries has. This is just demonstrably not true (*gestures vaguely at cross-pollination between black nationalisms and black conservatisms, the historical relationship between nationalism and liberal statecraft, the success of right-wing religious or ethnic nationalist movements like Hindutva or Ba’athism in post-colonial countries, etc.*), and is basically just weird, idealist nonsense about how being oppressed makes you morally virtuous.

It also has the effect of obfuscating class politics - ironic, since the people that most frequently utter this line are ML(M)s. There are quite a few "nationalisms of the oppressed" that presume the working-class of a country or a group has more in common with its local bourgeoisie or professional-class counterparts (frequently the spearheads of nationalist movements, if we wanna talk about "class character") rather than the working classes and oppressed groups of other countries.

What the "nationalism of the oppressed" myth does is effectively evade hard strategic questions. Instead of asking "how will this help the cause? what problems might it introduce? does this conflict with long-term goals and are the short-term victories going to be worth it?" it just assumes from the outset that none of those questions are worth asking. It assumes that nationalism is an automatically better foundation for a movement than humanism, or cosmopolitanism, or internationalism.

Genuinely wanna hear more regarding the No Wish SAHSRAU (Is that how it's spelled?) especially with all the new events that's happened.

Including the Dr Ratio that slid into our DMs.

First, apologies for the wait I took a while doing this request and then also decided not to post anything during the Palestine strike period because free Palestine.

And man, I don't know how it's spelled. I'd assume that's right it's so long though. Also YES Dr. Ratio sliding into our DMs except bro waltzes in and calls us an idiot ;-;

But first! Let's catch up with some of the current crew who is currently in Penacony!

Warning Penacony Spoilers

For the Trailblazer Penacony's been rough... Shortly after the death of their new closest friend, they'd been coerced into talking with Aventurine, and now had to make a decision without consulting any of the Astral Express beforehand. Sure, they were a seasoned adventurer with two missions under their belt but they still have no idea about their past or if they could trust such sketchy people.

"Aventurine, that little rat..." Their ears perked up when they suddenly heard the voice of this presumed Aeon. "I want to knock my fist against his forehead and see if there's a brain in there." The Trailblazer wouldn't try that.

But if you were acting like this maybe Aventurine and Black Swan could be trusted. The Trailblazer forced themselves to relax and tried to show confidence in their eyes. They could do this. It was good you were still by their side in the dreamscape, otherwise... what would they do?

Herta has found it's more difficult to communicate with you than the Aeons. While the Aeons simply didn't want to communicate it was as if there was some sort of wall separating her from you. It was beyond fascinating but it irked her, she wanted to get into contact with you right away. Then, as she was working to implement a simulated version of you into the simulated universe as an Aeon she had a revelation. What if... this was all a game?

Natasha had done it. Recently the eyes glanced off her more often, something she couldn't help but feel disappointed at. But upon one instance when they glanced upon her, she'd taken their warmth in full, and decided to set out. It seemed when these eyes were on her, she improved in nearly every aspect, so maybe her luck would improve as well? Even though it had been a dead end many times before she investigated Vache's worn down laboratory covered by snow searching for research. Except this time, she found something. This Aeon... was strangely benevolent and caring towards mortals.

That's all the updates we have for now on the current characters, in terms of progress. Herta is one smart cookie but who else is one smart cookie? Dr. Ratio!!! That man I love him so much. Sampo is also a potential worrying addition.

Given in the current event you can get either Sampo, Guinaifen, Asta, or Yukong for free, so let's see how they react.

Dr. Ratio

...This was interesting. The plot unfurling behind the scenes of Penacony was to be expected, Aventurine was being a pain in his ass also to be expected, but an Aeon looking at him? A smart Aeon. One who also must hope to purge the world of ignorance! A noble pursuit. Or perhaps, they'd realized their own ignorance and sought to rectify it some of the Aeons were rather lackluster in this manner after all. But they'd likely never change in their ways.

And you're no longer looking at him, that's fine. Is it a bit more chilly in here or is it just him? An interesting side effect of your gaze then, the feeling of warmth. He wondered why that happened, the look of Nanook was dangerous and suffocating, near fatal for any mortal. That of Yaoshi's was said to be sickeningly sweet and suffocating as well. Nous' was cold and calculating, judging your every asset and whether or not you had potential. Everyone had potential, they just had to choose to rid themselves of their ignorance. If the gaze wasn't suffocating maybe... you were a weak Aeon? One that had just formed or had been thought to have died.

Interesting. Aeons, the topic no scholar knew completely about. Herta was researching deeply into them, Dr. Ratio supposed he could always ask her yet he didn't want to feed into her ego. There were other ways to get the information though.

Guinaifen

"Hello, hello! Can you all hear me? Good morning fam! And welcome to Little Gui's stream!"

It was then when Guinaifen suddenly felt warmth wash over her. Oh, maybe it was because this stream was her first normal one after all the ghost catching business but she found herself getting flustered...? Flattered...? She wasn't sure exactly how to describe it yet she felt even more energetic than usual! As if she could go on for hours! When she ended her stream, the warmth was still there and she still felt as if she was being watched.

Wait-- wasn't this how people said they felt when they were being watched by an Aeon? Something similar to this right?! If even an Aeon was watching her, she was definitely going to be famous! When Guinaifen went to tell Sushang about this news, she found Sushang had run into the same thing! Weren't the two of them an impressive pair? :)

E1 Asta

Research had been going smoothly, partly thanks to the eyes always observing Asta. With them came the warmth that brought confidence and innovation she felt she wouldn't feel otherwise. But, she could feel the warmth all the time now. She doubted an Aeon would be able to watch her all of the time so had she been blessed? That was good, she was able to focus on all the stars and her research more now and learn more in less time!

But... why did she feel so forlorn? As if she had been deserted? Had you just blessed her and moved on your way? Herta... Herta knew a lot about Aeons maybe she would know something about what had happened to her, maybe she would know if you're still around.

E1 Yukong

Even after it all Yukong wished to return to the skies. Despite failing her comrades, despite all those around her who she'd cared for yet failed to stop their death, despite the burning wreckage she'd had to painstakingly crawl out of. Yukong wished to fly. In this long life where even the things she'd once loved had dulled, the longing to fly was forever there.

The warmth was on her constantly now, she completed her paperwork faster, she created ingenious plans, but what did it matter?

"I want to go back," Yukong had spoken one day out to the silence of the world and when the warmth remained she realized, perhaps she could go back and fly. Maybe... it would be okay. But for now her fear remained, albeit comforted by the sight of an Aeon.

What a strange Aeon, to care so much for a mortal.

Sampo (spoiler warning for Black Swan quest, although I was kind of confused the whole time so some information may be incorrect)

Now this would be fun! Sampo had known he was right, this was only another clue in the right direction! And this Aeon, watcher, player, reader, whomever you were appeared at the perfect time! Whenever your gaze fell upon him, he could feel his speed increase as well as the rest of, if this were to be a game, his "stats." He knew he wasn't crazy, of course he'd never had that idea in the first place! He'd be able to retrieve his mask much easier now, he could deal with you later.

It wouldn't be anything bad, don't worry, Sampo Koski is always happy to have a new business partner and friend :) !

If there's anything else you wanna hear about it I'd be more than happy for ideas cause I love these little guys (the characters) . It's just them living their life except they're stronger and feel as if they can enact their dreams! And maybe they gain a friend or a small crush on the way but hey that doesn't mean anything until Penacony comes out with some tech they worked on with Herta that allows you to visit in your dreams but no way something like that will happen, right?

Also trailblazer is genuinely so stressed like imagine having to make the decisions to save an ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET and you don't even know who the you are or what you've been through, you're genuinely so lost but hey you're alive, somehow.

Chapter Three— Unexpected visitors

→ Infatuation | m.list

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#SYNOPSIS— The dead come back to visit

#WARNING(S)— This is a dark fic, implications of abandonment, implications of being a bad mother, child abandonment, implications of discrimination, implications of physical abuse, yandere, unhealthy obsession, possessive, prey/hunter dynamics, scent kink, creepy behavior, throat usage?/does that even make sense?, forced kissing, noncon kissing???)) quaritch goes feral, unwanted touching

#CHARACTER(S)— Recom! colonel Miles Quaritch

#NOTE— so I lied— the good stuff will definitely be on the next chapter. I’m also planning to make a Drabble to make up for it

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Quaritch extended out his palm towards the diagram ❝ The target is pretty much this whole island group— ❞ he was cut of by Spider ducking beneath his large frame, he glanced down at his son smiling briefly, ❝— Never been up there, you know those waters doc. What kind of indigenous we got? ❞ Scoresby gestured towards the man on the opposite side of the diagram. The doc was startled out of his own thinking, hesitating briefly as he glanced at the blue Recom looking at him with piercing yellow eyes ❝ Well— uh we got metkayina mostly some Ta’unui maybe fifty villages— ❞

Having enough of his rambiling, Quaritch cut off him with a puzzled face, ❝ uh you are who?❞ he didn’t need to know what specific species of na’vi there was— all he needed to know where was the nearest village nearby to get stated on his mission ❝ Oh I’m uh Doctor Ian Garvin, a marine biologist ❞ he extended out his palm for a handshake but was ultimately ignored by Quaritch, he dropped down his hand in embarrassment, ❝ Fifty villages— a hundred villages. I don’t care we’ll search them all ❞ Scoresby scoffed, and snapped back with an obnoxious tone ❝ I hunt Tulkun, that’s what I’m rigged for that’s all my guys do. I’ve got quotas to meet ❞

A rotten wry smile split Quaritch face, he showed a smile with far too many teeth— teeth to sharp his lips curled up. He looked like a happy predator with upturned lips, ❝ I’ll be nice once than I won’t ❞ Behind him, Lyle lifted his respiratory mask taking a sip of carbon. His yellow eyes gleamed, as he watched the interaction between the two of them. Scoresby pursed his lips, not expecting to be threatened in his own ship, ❝ Oh if you can’t get out of it, get into it. All crew to stations! ❞

—

It was difficult being the only human among the na’vi, unable to fully understand the ways of being‘ One of the people ‘ as they say. But they were welcoming to say the least— a bit skittish but nothing you can do about it. Had it not been for Jake sully— Toruk Makto as they call him; you would of never been accepted into the Ta’unui clan. You weren’t ‘ one of the people ‘ just a human coexisting with them. It was difficult at first, finding yourself frustrated with them— and yourself. It was a horrible decision to leave the forest but if you didn’t than you would be stuck with him— burden by the responsibility of being a mother. So you packed your things and left—

Gone the next day leaving no trace behind but a few personal belongings. It was heartless— to abandon a child but you couldn’t bare to look at it. Finding bile crawling up your throat whenever you ever so glanced at it. But that was years ago and you can only find yourself wanting to learn about their life now— only a little. You come up with your own conclusions, that’s he’s fine— doing much better now that you were gone. Has a happy family that gives him all the affection and care he needs— anything to lesson the guilt of abandoning him.

You were startled out of your thoughts as a blue hand appeared in your vision. You jumped like a feral cat, whisking around as your eyes caught culprit of a sheepish male na’vi. ❝Jesus Christ— must you always do this to me? ❞ The male na’vi blinked, cocking his head to the side as he stared at you with wide eyes, ❝ I do not understand this sky people talk— what is this Jesus Christ? ❞ You shook your head, waving your hand in dismissal ❝ Dont worry about it— Sky people nonsense and all that. Your English has gotten good ❞ at your compliment, the male puffed up his chest in pride. You scoff at his flared ego— ever since you’ve been here this male na’vi was always by your side, claiming he was curious about the sky people.

He’s become your student— only for a short while. You’ve been teaching him English for quite some and was surprised to see him learn the language very quick. It brought a sense of peace towards you— familiarity. It’s as if you were back in the past with Grace helping her at the school. A wave of nostalgia hit you, often times you missed the moments you had with everyone. You smiled briefly, the past would always sneak upon you leaving nothing but a longing to see everyone. But you had made your bed— choosing to leave and abandon everyone. Now you must lay in your choices. ❝ You are friends with Toruk Makto, no? ❞

Confused by the sudden interest in an old friend, you nodded, ❝ Yeah— Jake sully, what’s the sudden interest in him? ❞ he hesitated briefly, ❝ He is residing in a metkayina clan— not far from here— there has been talk of war following him ❝ Your lips pursed in response, brows furrowing. ❝ That is odd— not something he would do. Who knows maybe he just wanted a vacation? ❞ He looked at you with wide eyes, ❝ You are certain of this? ❞ You hesitated briefly, you weren’t— Jake would of never fled the Omaticaya— especially Neytiri, seeing as how she loved her home and would even die for her people. This wasn’t something they would do— not unless they were running from something— or someone.

But no one could posses such a threat that would cause Jake to flee— and if they did, we’ll they were dead. But you couldn’t cause panic— ❝ I’m sure, who knows maybe it’s for diplomat reasons ❞ He seemed satisfied with your answer and bided you goodbye. You were back to being alone— busying yourself to your own devices. But worry seemed to overshadow your thoughts— worming their way inside your mind. If Jake was here than what of the boy you gave birth to? Jake didn’t adopt him— no the boy had foster parents that took care of him along with other human children that were left behind. But Jake promised— he promised to watch over him. Did Jake bring him here to the ocean clans? Or did he leave him back at the Omaticaya?

Worry gnawed at your gut— you couldn’t bare to risk seeing the boy. Your stomach churned in disgust— you were cut off by a horn being blasted through the air— your stomach dropped. Through the years residing in the clan not once has the horn been used. Distant cries were heard thought the beach and a loud rumbling sound swallowed their petrified cries. You scrambled towards the noise, terror sticking at your nerves as a large ship came into view, ❝ Oh fuck— fuck! ❞ you scrambled backwards running towards your small hut. You gathered your necessity items, shoving the basic necessities in a small bag.

None of this made sense— they shouldn’t be here, not once had they come near the islands. They were often seen out in the open waters hunting tulkun. This was different— had they come here to threaten or kill the na’vi residing in this island? Peace was not on the table so the like hold of the other two options happening were possible. You flinched at the loud cries coming from the na’vi and the curses of your mother tongue being shouted out. If they caught you— there was no doubt you might be publicly executed for betraying your race.

And so you hid— lost in the wildlife of Pandora you seeked shelter behind a trunk covered by bushes. Your breaths came out labored, you peeked from a small opening seeing the na’vi being rounded up on the clearing. You leaned forward trying to get a better view unaware of the footsteps behind you. You let out a scream as a hand tugged you up from your hiding place. You struggled immediately, clawing at the hands that held onto you— ❝ Stay still—! I got a traitor here! ❞ your attacker dragged you towards the clearing, gun pressing against your back.

You tripped over your own feet a couple of times as you were dragged to the clearing. Countless of na’vi were forced to kneel onto the sand with guns and tasers threatening to cause harm. There were avatars among them humans, dressed in full camo gear with weapons strapped towards their vest. The color drained from your face as you made eye contact with piercing yellow eyes, ❝ What the actual fuck— ❞ you were starting to panic, kicking your feet and acting like a mad woman— you were unsure of what to do but your brain screamed at you to run.

In front of you was the man you once thought was dead— no you were certain he was dead. His skeleton was out in the forest decomposing on itself. Yet, here he was, breathing and certainly alive. He was back from the dead and this time he came back blue. Beside him was a human boy wearing na’vi clothes, he was covered in blue stripes. A flicker of recognition sparkled in your eyes— your breath hitched at your throat, ❝no— no! ❞ you shook your head refusing to accept the truth. A newfound strength courses through your body.

You elbowed the guy on the ribs making a run for it, ❝ Don’t shoot! I need her alive! ❞ a familiar voice ran along the clearing— it was him. Colonel Miles Quaritch was back from the dead and came back bigger, stronger and faster in the body of a na’vi—a species he hated with a passion. But how was that even possible? You wouldn’t stay to find out— you had to leave— to hide

❝ Get back here! ❞ He roared out, the sheer volume and grit of his voice caused the ends of your hairs to stand up. He launched himself to your pursuit, screaming out in rage. He was hot on your tail, commanding you stop running but it only caused you to pump your legs faster. Soon enough you heard him right behind you— you glanced back a mistake you realized as he ran at you in a primal way. Hands and feet— claws out for a grip against the terrain he pounced on you. ❝C’mere! ❞ You ducked out the way, barley missing his grasp but not without paying the price of your shirt being torn by his claws. You slammed yourself against a trunk barley missing his claws. You scrambled back to your feet leaving him in the dust.

❝ Stop running! ❞ he screamed out, ❝ you’re suppose to be with me— You’re mine— mine! ❞ Sharp canines gritted against each other and bared into a sneer, his brows were furrowed and yellow eyes were wide like saucers— he looked insane as if he submitted himself to his primal instincts. He was fixated on getting you; even going as far as his abandoning his gun— anything that slowed him down. A shaky sigh left his lips as he gripped the garment of your torn blouse— he inhaled deeply pressing it against his nose. He swears he could taste your scent on his tongue. It’s yours— and you’re here with him.

He exhaled shaky, pocketing the torn piece of clothing inside his pocket. He glanced back up finding you no where in his sight. His ears flattened against his skull, tail laying limp, ❝Don’t be mean now honey— ❞ his voice drawled out, the smirk wiping off his face seeing as there was no indication to where you could possibly be. He scouted out the area in a frenzy coming to a halt as a thud behind him makes him turn around in a swift. He rushes over to the sound pushing away the wildlife , ❝ Gotcha! ❞ his excitement died down when all he found was a small animal cowering in fear. He let out a hiss of frustration, tail whipping around as his anxiety clawed at him.

Panic rose as he searched every creek he could find— which way did you go? His frustration bubbled in his chest, ❝ If you don’t come out right now I swear I’ll paint that ass red and blue! ❞ He looked left and right, running in circles looking for any sign or indication to where you could possibly be. Meanwhile, you had ran as far as you could ending up near your shack. You stoped to catch your breath, heart beating against your chest in an erratic way. You bended over placing your hand on your knees— you had lost him for now. But what can you do before he catches up to you again? For how long can you evade his grasp? Leaving the island would be impossible. This was a hopeless scenario for you— there was no way to flee and running was the only option. You could hide in your shack but wouldn’t that be the first place they would check?

You couldn’t give up now, standing straight you began to plot your next move. Hiding was a no go— you need small places somewhere a na’vi can’t fit in. You could hear the distant scream of your name out in the woods, your head whipped to the sound. Tripping over your own steps you decided to push more distance away from him. You knew exactly where to go— you’ve known this island for years. He doesn’t, all that matters is making sure he doesn’t catch up to you before you get there. Soon enough you heard a branch break beside you— you don’t have time to register the force that impacted you.

You feel like you’re flying through the air— unable to grasp what’s going on. He’s grabbing you and wrestling you beneath him— a coarse laugh came from him, his canines glistened from the copious amount of times of running his tongue over them— unable to swallow his exceeding amount of saliva. His tail thumped behind him in excitement, ❝ I got you, sweetheart— you’re mine now ❞ his chuckles were hoarse, shoulders shaking as deep rumbles came within his chest.

He pressed his nose against the juncture of your nape, curling himself to your size. You froze— did he just sniff you? He’s panting, whole body trembling. ❝ You done teasing me? You and I have some unfinished business to get to. How about we finish that family that we started? Give the brat a couple of siblings while you and I get to be acquainted once again ❞ You shook your head frantically, the thought of having another child with him disgust you. Tears slid down your cheeks freely, you wanted to scream and cry out. This was a nightmare come to life. You let out a squeal as you felt his palm reach down and grabbed a handful of your ass, groping and squeezing the flesh. He rained down numerous kisses on your neck, nipping and lapping at your flesh. You were frozen in place— He was terrifying, and too fucking big. His whole body encased yours. Quaritch looked at you, pupils blown wide—. Your attempts to trash away from his grip was useless against his strength and size. He was overwhelming— you could only see and feel him. Both of his massive biceps were placed beside you, lowering his chest towards back.

Back when he was human he always towered over you but now as a na’vi? He was huge— it was like you were his own personal human doll. You could hear shuffling behind you— you were manhandled as if you were nothing but cargo. You were face to face with him. His biceps kept you locked in his embrace, lowering himself towards you. He was starved for you— relishing every touch he could get from you. You however— we’re frightened and did everything possible to get away from his embrace. You wiggled and kicked helplessly under his strong grip— his arms tightened around you like a snake coiling around it’s prey. It only just hit how strong and big his was.

He hugged you even closer— if it was even possible to do so. Pressing your body against his, he let out a deep low moan making you let out a squeak as you felt his canines drag across your flesh. He leaned down again— seeing his face dip towards yours; you turned your face to the side avoiding his lips from touching yours. His lips skimmed over your cheeks— a low animalistic snarl escaped from him. His fingers dug into your jaws and wrenched your face to look back at him. ❝ You will not take this from me, girl— I have waited so long to have you ❞

His lips pressed against yours in a messy kiss, he pressed his tongue against your mouth. Claws prodding your jaw to open up as he swallowed your mouth whole. Tears streamed down your cheeks— He doesn’t get to have you— you weren’t his. You wish you could tell him this but all you can squeak out are muffled sobs. Quaritch was overjoyed— a sense of peace came flowing to him. You were back in his arms, exactly where he wanted you. Nothing can stop him now— not even the order he was given from his predecessor— you were meant to be his— human or na’vi doesn’t matter.

Your attempts to break away from the kiss were futile against his overwhelming strength. He deepened the kiss, tongue lashing at ever crook and crane he could find. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you felt his tongue slither down your throat. Your fist slammed against his chest seeing black dots prick at the corner of your vision. Feeling you go limp in his arms caused him to draw back from your mouth. His hold on you however remained— a string of saliva connected both of your lips. Face running red, you stared at him unable to fully wrap your head on just what happened

He stared back down at you, completely unfazed. As if this was the most natural thing to do ❝ What? Cat got your tongue, hmm Princess? ❞ , you shook your head to the side a couple of times; mumbling out incoherent words. His ears however managed to hear you every well, ❝ You’re not him— how are you even alive? You died— ❞ you babbled out— pawing against his chest pathetically, pushing and slapping with your weak strength. A mistake you were quick to realize as he slammed you back to the ground caging you in his arms, ❝ Just relax, princes I’ll explain it to ya— you see I’m a clone of that old man. He’s deceased— he was weak ❞ he hissed, ❝ I’m better— I’m stronger and I am going to take what is rightfully mine; starting with you ❞

Small wheezes came from you, you looked at him as if he was absurd ❝ I don’t belong to you— ❞ his fingers curled around your throat ❝ Watch it— clearly you’re attitude has been left unchecked for quite a long time. Don’t worry sweetheart, daddy will fix that ❞ His palm pressed against your back bringing you upwards to him, he coaxed you to his lap; tail wrapping around your arm. His palms groped your flesh, touching every place he could. His hands fiddled with your blouse, scrunching up the piece of fabric you called blouse tearing it off. You’re breast bounced from the impact— you curled inward to protect your modesty. His fingers itched to grab hold of your breast— lips curling up at your refusal. However, a static voice coming from his earpiece caused him to pause his actions. You couldnt catch what they were saying but you doubted it was anything good. His yellow eyes gleamed, ❝ Let’s get you back home— where you belong ❞

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━━━ : © NERVOUS.D

So, in the aftershow talk Anthony laments about season 2 but honestly? I love season 2.

I think season 1 had a lot more clear of an objective, and a lot more clear of a structure, but that’s kind of perfect for the story of season 2 right?

season 2 is a story about being a teen. It’s about all the ups and downs and struggles and heartache and everything about being a teen, it’s about crushes, and emotions, and fathers, and weird mustaches, and it’s about the incredibly gen z/alpha experience of trying to figure out what you can do in a world that feels like it’s doomed by the people before you. It’s a very teen story. It’s very proud of this, and it does it very well, and while I can’t say whether or not it was *intentional* I think the structure and flow of season 2 is perfect for that story.

It starts off with a decently defined structure in school, with a vague but simple enough goal to reach, then you’re thrusted out into the world, having to make big choices for yourself and that’s when it starts to get… Messy. Things aren’t as simple as they used to be, there’s lots of moving pieces, people who are going to be making their own decisions that you can’t really change, there’s a lot of things going on. And it even feels difficult to lean on the people you care about but you do it anyways.

I think season 2 has had some of the best pc to pc emotional character interactions of the entire series and I don’t think you get there without season 2 being structured the way it is. Season 2 being so much more loose and more focused on the players pushing the plot I think purely serves it for the story it ends up telling. I don’t think you get moments like Scary siding with Willy and even while lashing out and eldritch blasting still being hugged by Linc and piled on by everyone to show she’s cared for in a season like season 1. I just don’t think that happens, because I don’t think everything being the way it is and the more almost tv show like structuring of season 1 would allow for that. It had plenty of great emotional moments, but I think the teen nature of it being messier and more impulsive and trying to figure out who you are and where your place in the world is absolutely benefits from a looser structure and goals that are less neatly defined.

The dads have, for the most part, figured themselves out as people even on episode 1 hitting. Sure they all grow and learn and change, but they never stop being those people they are during episode 1, they just become better versions of themselves. Even Glenn. Debatably. (he definitely changed but he might have become a worse person, like he’s a stoner who plays a guitar and says “far out” at the start and by the end is creating big vats of oil to blow up an entire commune and pissing in the sand lying down.) They’re adults, they have their priorities, and they know who they are. We’re in a freaky situation, we’ve been through a lot, let’s get our kids, let’s get tf out, let’s maybe try and fix some things because we’re not totally monsters or anything. Bing bang boom.

The dads have very clear outlines, but the season 2 cast has very strong vibes.

They’re a lot more chaotic, loosely defined, and their outlines are less immediate, but in exchange they are absolutely vibrating with energy and possibility and chaos and all of these interesting dynamics and things that never feel forced because, well, they’re still figuring themselves out! By all rights, they SHOULDN’T have those same defined outlines to their characters that the season 1 cast had.

The entire story is about being messy, and finding your way in life, and I think season 2 does that perfectly, and I think none of the incredible stuff that everyone brings to the table works without Anthony doing what he did and doing the incredible job he did. Good shit king.

PAC - How to improve your sleep

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DISCLAIMER. These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose.

How to pick a pile

The pick a pile order is Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3. When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise!

Pile 1 - Cinnamoroll

(King of Pentacles - Temperance - Six of Swords - The Lovers - Five of Swords)

Your nocturnal habits are the ones you love the most in your entire day. You naturally love to sleep and have recently added ways to improve your nighttime ritual, such as skincare, reading a book, meditating, and taking a nice shower… anyway. We can say that sleeping is even your hobby.

Are you feeling disconnected with your sleep because sleeping is something to be calm and natural? You can't force it (I'm not talking about drugs, okay), and the lack of control stresses you out a bit. You love to sleep, but you're the type of person who takes a long time to fall asleep and would like it to be faster, but unfortunately, it is not possible.

To improve your sleep, let's remove what's disturbing you on the way – which is the cell phone and electronic things... It's no use doing a ritual that, in the end, you'll spend 2 hours on a cell phone screen. The basics are useful for a reason...

"But you don’t understand…" Yes, I understand that you must be talking to your crush/boyfriend before bed, or you keep thinking about her for hours and creating scenarios in your head. Okay, do it with your eyes closed and in the dark; sleep is VERY necessary for our life as a whole. You need to know that the next day that person will still be there. You are responsible for the events in your life; do not allow other people or unexpected situations to influence your decisions.

Herbs you can use to help with your nightly ritual: Orange and Onion.

Pile 2 - Pompompurin

(Queen of Pentacles - Six of Cups - Seven of Swords - High Priestess - Seven of Wands)

Sleeping is something refreshing for you, but you can't do it 100% because this struggle is for parents of children (so yes… if you are not a parent, it will be difficult for you to identify, please choose another struggle). You're a person who benefits a lot from sleeping, who enjoys doing it, but you've been a light sleeper for a long time because you need to be constantly aware of your surroundings, checking if someone else is okay.

The reason for your difficulty sleeping is clear: children… You're either watching over them, or when you finally fall asleep, someone wakes you up to attend to something. This gradually undermines good sleep, and there isn't much to do about it.

What I can give you as tips now is to make a “tent/fort” for the children to sleep inside (I don't know how to write it, but that would be it). Also, take advantage of the naps that the children take during the day to get some rest yourself. Remember, “ah, but what about the house?" – Well, look, you're sleepy, and the mess will still be there when you wake up. Prioritize rest.

The feeling that may be undermining you is that with each decision, you ask yourself if you are being a good mother/father. You know… you will be criticized by everyone, by people outside, and even by your own children when they grow up. No one will understand your efforts, but you can, so you need to create more confidence in the whole process you are going through and stop second-guessing every decision you make. Energies need to be renewed, cycles close for others to begin, with vigor and vitality. Accept with gratitude the changes that the Universe proposes.

Herbs You Can Use to Help with Your Nightly Ritual: Fennel and Pomegranate.

Pile 3 - Pochacco

(Strength - Three of Swords - Two of Pentacles - Knight of Cups - Two of Wands)

Your sleep is complicated because your body wants to rest, but your mind is racing. You don't stop thinking; your reasoning is quick and very useful in everyday life, but not at bedtime. You are also a person who is more disconnected from your own body; you can be tired mentally but not physically, and vice versa, and this interferes with your bedtime. It seems that when you put some effort into creating a sleeping habit, it doesn't work.

We also can't erase the sentimental part that disturbs your sleep; all the feelings you had during the day are processed at night. Memories of the past cause tightness in the chest, a storm in the mind, thinking about what you could have done, crying, and creating new arguments in your mind. Often, you sleep because you are mentally exhausted.

What can really help you is to put all your plans that you think about at bedtime on a scale to know which ones are just delusions before going to sleep, and what can work out. Do a real planning of the things you can or cannot do to put everything into practice. You are a mental person, and you think a lot, but you are also a procrastinator. You will sleep much better knowing that you did all your responsibilities that day. You can do it!!

Now entering a more intimate part, many of the negative feelings that you have before bedtime are the feeling of rejection and exclusion, of people not accepting your feelings and your most intimate needs. That is why you feel that people do not accept who you really are. This most intimate part needs to be resolved, and it will be resolved when you leave things behind – all the past where you were rejected – and try once again with passion to live your life being yourself. Passion arrives to ward off fears and warm the heart with an extra dose of enthusiasm. The act of falling in love brings motivation and freshness to life, whether for someone, for yourself, or for something new that begins.

Herbs you can use to help with your nightly ritual: Snake plant and Mugwort.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

Doctor who's season 13?? ESPECIALLY the Yaz Hug moment

So with the new specials coming out I thought I'd post my thoughts on the season 13 finale

The doctor breaks herself into three different versions ,three different pieces overwhelmed by solving three equally pressing problems. I hear everyone’s issues with the 13th doctor etc etc but this was the PERFECT finale to her character--the entire arc is so chock-full of different problems EVERYWHERE that the doctor is squashing out.

I didn't realize it until then but the entire point of the Flux and the doctor closing herself off and not telling yaz and dan anything--AHH such a good idea!! It's the perfect way to represent everything as her arc comes to its climax.

Also just. The 13th doctor doesn't want to worry people so she doesn't tell her companions squat and just constantly deflects. you know how Clara uses the TARDIS and pseudoscience as a coping mechanism to get away from the Bad Things she has to eventually deal with?? YEA. NOW THE DOCTOR IS DOING IT.

in a way you see she's kind of grateful that she's in the middle of all this, because then she doesn't have to face anything :3—which is terrible and awful, but easy to rationalize because 'people's lives are on the line and she has to save them'!!

Naturally the doctor has always had a problem with being far too selfless. and while this arc doesn't state it directly, the acting and the camera work and the situation all state it indirectly enough. And Yaz is kind of the only one who notices cause she's the only one who's been there long enough?? anyways ahhhh when the companions finally reunite after like two episodes of being apart, its just. the doctor forces herself to stop the 'how do we fix this' brain and she makes herself pause and just goes "wait" and she stops and HUGS YAZ for like three seconds. It's the first break, the first silent, not-really-tense moment you get in an EXTREMELY long time. And even then it doesn't feel like long enough.

THE YAZ HUG MOMENT IS SO GOOD: I guess I noticed it was weird that it lasted so long but I couldn't exactly figure out why it was such a good choice. And then. In that whole meet-up scene, the cuts are SO very well done. You have the camera circling her, spinning, and the Doctor sees someone, says their name—

"Yaz! Dan! Kate Stewart, Kate Sewart! Jericho! Victorian-looking bloke!"

With every new bit of information, in a row, it jumps to a new cut, a new angle, with no continuity of the Doctor's previous pose—and i mean no continuity, from one cut to the next she is 180 degrees with completely different hands and head positions— but with possibly MORE stuff that she has to cram into this situation and spread herself even thinner--and it feels kind of like she's losing her mind.

(She kind of was.)

But she doesn't realize it yet or want to face it or can't face it or whatever, just keeps going, and then forces herself to pause. and to stop.

After all the losses, loss after loss after loss after loss in this arc, after making an extremely difficult, selfless decision, after all it cost her, she takes just a little selfish moment for herself to say, "Wait." and she chooses to not do anything. she chooses to take three long seconds to turn and hug yaz. not anyone else.

Of course, once she does, the camera stops spinning and idk i was just like 'WOW we really have been going nonstop for just a ridiculous amount of time haven't we.' and that was kinda when i realized that yea, I am gonna miss season 13's version of jodie whittaker.

What kinda insecurities do you think the Akatsuki struggle with?

Itachi

Itachi struggles with autism having such an unshakable one-track mind that he gets in his own way and makes things worse than what they could be if he were lenient in his methods of getting things done, and it haunts him. He's very frigid and unbending and he doesn't realize he could have done things a different way until well after he's done something dangerous, irresponsible, or insensitive. The worst part about it is the delayed guilt; he feels little to no remorse in the moment because he fully believes everything he does is justified and a means to an end. It's only when he sees the disastrous aftermath when he realizes he was wrong and starts to question everything he's ever done. I mean he didn't even see how much he fucked up with Sasuke until AFTER he died. He didn't see how much he was manipulated by others around him because he was too busy hyper-fixating on his own goals and his own wants/needs. He didn't see that there were other plausible ways of stopping the massacre because of his devotion to an imperialist state over his own family. His insecurity is knowing nothing he does will ever be good enough despite being the prodigy in everyone else's eyes. His insecurity is knowing he's wrong. His insecurity is knowing his weakness for his brother caused him to make horrible decisions and he's to blame. He's one of the smartest people in the entire show but he's definitely not the brightest and he knows that.

Kisame (bonus post for him)

Physically, Kisame has a very obvious insecurity surrounding how monstrous he looks. He takes pride in how fit and athletic his body is so him boasting about being as strong as the tailed beasts is to be expected. But he avoids mirrors. Every comment about his gills and abnormal facial features cuts him. His skin makes him stick out like a sore, oversized thumb. If he looks too long at himself, he's forced to acknowledge the fact that he heavily leans into his fighting abilities and overzealous bloodlust because it justifies the way he looks. He needs to be physically strong to make up for what he lacks in being a normal-looking person. People are going to be afraid of him anyway; may as well give them a reason.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu struggles with self-worth. He was known as being a formidable and undefeated shinobi in his youth. So ruthless and cut-throat that his village leaders deemed him worthy enough to take on the 1st Hokage. That defeat ruined his life and took away every bit of self-worth he had when he was further humiliated by the village elders. When he couldn't regain his honor and turned rogue, he placed all his worth into money which has been his driving force and sole motivation to do pretty much anything. It's all he cares about because he has no other option. Money doesn't care about honor. Money doesn't care about reputation. Money doesn't care about what he can and can't do. He sees the value and worth it has in the world and by attaining it himself, he himself has value and worth.

Zetsu

This is strange, but I don't think Zetsu has insecurities. I'm still at the beginning of the war arc and know very little about the outcome of his character, but seeing as he's not even an Earthly being, I find it very difficult to believe that he'd concern himself with human experiences like that.

Nagato

Nagato's insecurity lies in his ability (or lack of) to properly carry out Yahiko's legacy. He's very aware that he'll never measure up to his friend's vision simply because they don't share the same viewpoint; they look to the same goal with different eyes because Yahiko was willing to sacrifice himself for an ideal bigger than himself while Nagato was willing to sacrifice everyone. Somewhere in his mind he's aware of the irony in using Yahiko's corpse -- a shell of who he was and empty of any real soul -- to carry out their plans because he knows he'll never be accepted. Yahiko would never have approved of taking away people's free will to avoid war and I think he knows that. So he uses his abilities to shield who he actually is so he can pretend he's just as good and just as pure as his friend was. He never will be, though.

Konan

At no direct fault of her own, she's lost everyone she ever cared about or loved. I refuse to believe she genuinely thinks she's the one at fault for Yahiko's death, but I think if it weren't for Yahiko wanting Nagato to keep the organization going she would have left that very day he was killed. By the time Nagato was gone, she had nothing left and abandoned the Akatsuki altogether to let Naruto handle it (from what I remember, I may be wrong). She stayed in the Akatsuki out of pure survivor's guilt and that had to be eating at her every year that went by. Maybe at some point, she'd think about if she was even good enough to keep it going. Yahiko loved her but entrusted the Akatsuki mission to someone else. Was she not enough? Was she not strong enough? Did her being kidnapped make Yahiko think she couldn't do it? I can see these questions going through her mind at some point.

Hidan

Hidan likes to pretend he's big and bad, but his biggest insecurity is how utterly terrified he is of death despite being the person to dish it out to others AND that he's literally nothing without killing. I like to think he made killing people his biggest personality trait because he really doesn't think he has anything else to contribute. It's all he knows how to do and all he's good at so when his hometown went from a shinobi village to a tourist town, they took away the one thing that made him useful. He was beside himself and instead of being a normal person and taking up something else, he snapped because he's narcissistic enough to think of it as a personal attack on him. How dare they take away the one thing he based his entire life around and the only thing that gives him any semblance of true purpose. I also have a headcanon that he made up the existence of Jashin to validate his insistant and unhinged need to slaughter innocent people and that his clan was involved in some shady human experimentation type of shit that fucked with his psyche as a child.

Obito

Obito.....oh boy. His biggest and loudest insecurity is his scars. Not for superficial reasons or anything like that, but because they're a glaring reminder that him attempting to do true good ended in tragedy. I can't say too much about him because I'm still in the very early stages of the war arc but from what I know about him and the lengths he was willing to go to cause the destruction he did over YEARS, those scars are just a physical reminder of everything he could have been, everyone he should have had in his life, and everything he'll never be.

Sasori

Sasori's biggest insecurity is how sensitive and vulnerable he actually is. He hates it. Despises the fact that he feels so much that he goes to great lengths to hide it. You don't go through the trouble of turning yourself into a human puppet just because it's a Tuesday afternoon and you're bored. You do it because the grief is too great. You do it because whatever pain you felt was so terrible and so awful that taking away the very essence of your humanity is the only way you can cope with it. He had to feel the soul shattering, heartbreaking agony that comes with having the people you love most ripped away from you at such a young age and never being able to fill that void. He hates that he wears his heart on his sleeve and can't hide it, but secretly wants someone to acknowledge the pain he's in. He turned his parents into puppets. He may have gotten rid of them once he realized they weren't a good replacement for his real parents, but he had to get to that point in the first place. He turned his only friend into a puppet after he was accidentally killed. He found peace during Edo Tensei after Kankuro validated his philosophy on everlasting art. That Scorpio man is a walking bleeding heart no matter how nihilistic he is and hates every second of it.

Deidara

Deidara's insecurities lie in his inferiority complex. He's a kid trying to prove himself to be worthy in the eyes of others and when he doesn't get that validation from people he admires, it hurts. He spent so much time trying to prove himself to his rivals (Itachi, Sasuke, Sasori, etc.) and hyperfixated on getting the upper hand because he had this inherent need to finally been seen as someone's equal through his own abilities. He hates being treated like a joke, like an afterthought, and like his voice doesn't matter and the people around him consistently do that exact thing. Honestly, I felt bad for him half the time cause they kept making a fool out of him even after he died 😭

Do they want kids(Jjk men edition)

Summary: Do these jjk characters ever want kids with their partner or nah?

Cw: suggestiveness,mentions of pregnancy,kids,mentions of abortion,reader is afab

Rating:T(to be safe)

A/n: I know i said i was going to post the dabi fic but i don't think it's ready yet.

please enjoy this instead till i get it done. Also,this author believes in giving people a right to choose and if that deeply offends you,you can stay clear of this headcanon. Tell me if you'd want a part 2!

Gojo:Not really.

He isn't actively trying for one and wouldn't mind if he didn't have one. What can I say? Our man's a free spirit and probably wouldn't want to deal with the added responsibility of a child,with him being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. But peradventure the contraceptives fail and you find yourself pregnant,he won't force you to abort it if you don't want to. He'd leave you to make whatever decision you want to make concerning the pregnancy. If you do decide to keep it,then you can guarantee that he'd be with you every step of the way and he in turn discovers he's actually a really good dad and falls in love with the child right from the moment they're born.

Nanami: Neutral

It's kind of difficult to figure out if he wants one or not. He kind of thinks he's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't(he sees the pros and cons of having one and how they both weigh up). If you don't want one however then he'd let sleeping dogs lie. But if you really want one then he wouldn't be opposed to it. Family man Nanami would definitely be a sight to see,with him holding his hand in yours and his kid carried in his other hand as you all take a casual Sunday stroll.

Sukuna: probably not

I genuinely think this man absolutely doesn't want kids. Did you hear what he said in that first episode he was shown." Where are the women and children?". The mere fact that he even has a partner is inconceivable enough but a child is pushing it. What he does to children,I don't know. I can only imagine he probably eats them or something. I headcanon him as someone who thinks children are bratty and can't stand being around them for five minutes.Don't even mention it to him and do be cautious and use contraceptives. If you do find yourself pregnant then he'd be very displeased(assuming a cursed spirit can reproduce). If he loves you enough though,he'd let you keep it if you want to but wouldn't take part in raising it.If the kid maybe developed strong curse abilities then he might show some interest in the kid,otherwise he won't really be invested in their lives.

Choso: Most likely

Despite his seemingly aloof appearance ,he loved and cared for his brothers very dearly so I assume he wouldn't mind having a child of his own. I'm not sure whether he's capable of reproducing or not but if he can't,he'd probably be open to adopt.But of course,he'd discuss this with you first. He's not making any decision like that without telling you first. Not much was shown about his character in the anime but I'm sure he'd make a really good father

Getou : Definitely

I see him as someone who'd want a family of his own somewhere along the line maybe as soon as he has accomplished his goals. Again,I'm not too solid about his true intentions or his personality but he's clearly not on the good side(for now at least). But nevertheless, I think deep down if he finds someone he really loves,he'd want kids with them. He seems to be the kind of person that would be caring to people he genuinely cares about and would most likely make a good dad.

PROPAGANDA

Mabel Propaganda

"[insert "i am 12 years old" comic]"

"You probably already know about this but back when the series was airing people were really pissed at Mabel because she was supposedly selfish. Yeah ok guys asking for a fucking megaphone to help a merman find his family was TOTALLY unreasonable. Dipper giving up one (1) "date" with a girl way older than him to save Mabel's pet was SO not worth it. (This is sarcasm btw. Side note a lot of these have to do with Dipper's crush on Wendy which is a whole other discussion.) And then there's the big one. Mabel causing Weirdmageddon. What people fail to realize with this is that 1) she was extremely stressed when she handed Bill the rift 2) she was tricked by Bill, a being that is A MASTER AT TRICKING PEOPLE, into thinking that she was being handed a magic solution to what felt like the end of the world to her, and 3) she was TWELVE. Not to pull out the "she is literally neurodivergent and a minor" card but do you really expect a 12 year old who's just been told that she's gonna have to face a big and difficult transition WITHOUT her brother who's been there for her all her life to make a rational decision? Y'all seriously fell for Bill's empty words in Sock Opera. Absolute bufoons. You would not survive Weirdmageddon."

"Oh wow, a preteen girl under extreme distress acts like a preteen girl under extreme distress. Whoda thunk?"

Allison Propaganda

Receives classio fandom misogynoir. She did eventually go down a dark path and do some fucked up things in season 3 (which I have a lot of problems with) but it was met by reactions of "see I knew she was evil all along!" people saying she never changed and was always selfish and terrible: (at the start of her character arc in season 1, she's struggling with the consequences of her actions and trying to be a better person. Among other things, she used her powers of compulsion to force her daughter to behave, which is BAD but it's not inhumanly evil. Can you imagine being an exhausted mom dealing with a misbehaving child and knowing that you have the ability to make them be quiet and do what you want? You really wouldn't be tempted? Anyway, she REGRETS IT.) It was painful near the end of season 1 where her sibling (Viktor, but season 1 was before his transition) was being manipulated by his evil boyfriend into unleashing his powers (sealed because they were dangerous) and turning against his family. Allison tried to warn him and take him back with her. When talking didn't work, Allison felt her only option was to compell him (which works by her saying "I heard a rumor" and then whatever she wants the person to do), and when she tried that Viktor slit her throat. He felt guilty for it but his evil boyfriend led him away and Allison was left there bleeding. People watching BLAMED ALLISON FOR THIS. She was DESPERATE to get her sibling back & away from an evil guy that was leading him down a really destructive path (he caused the end of the world! because of it!) and only tried to use her power after asking didn't work. She did not deserve to be hurt like that. Allison unfortunately was a bad person in season 3. But she sure as hell wasn't always a bad person and I hated seeing so many people say she was, I stopped looking at fandom spaces because of it. She was trying her best and did a lot of good before that."

Just finished the final season of Hilda. It was... okay, but felt like it lost its sense of direction.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I was never very interested in questions about Hilda's backstory. We didn't need to know who her family was and why she has blue hair. We didn't need to not know those things, but I don't feel like they added anything significant. For me, the appeal of the series was always in how Hilda interacts with external forces, not her internality.

And unfortunately I think the season really flopped on that one. I was hoping we would get to see how Hilda interacts with genuinely malevolent entities, then nope actually the faeries are good. The whole season felt like it was really confused about what it was trying to say and why. The giants really are hurting people and it is genuinely difficult to coexist with them, but driving them off is still bad because...? Frog-spider eats people, but it doesn't eat humans so it's fine to have it wandering around?

Then the final episode is just whiplash after whiplash -- Hilda has to rescue Anders, then OH WAIT Hilda has to go back to rescue Johanna, then she can't leave but then she can leave but Johanna can't leave but Astrid's going to strike a deal but the deal doesn't work but then it does and then never mind she doesn't have to make a deal at all. Also the faeries are scary and evil and abduct people but actually never mind they're good and were only abducting Hilda's family for good reasons but the island itself is actually evil and it's a stickler for rules and bargains except it's completely opaque what those rules are, sometimes bargains can be renegotiated but sometimes they can't, and it's willing to accept a blood sacrifice just for the sake of it even though it gains no benefit from it?

Like... just... WHAT. I think my head needs time to stop spinning.

(Also, I'm really annoyed that after three seasons of Hilda learning that cutting Johanna out of her decisions always ends badly and Johanna willingly going adventuring with her this entire season Hilda still cuts her out in the finale, even though it's the stupidest possible time to do so because this is going to be a long operation so she's obviously going to find out. Way to regress on all that character development, Hilda.)

And after all that and answering all those questions about Hilda's heritage, it still never answered the question of why the Fairy Isle is dying, even though that seems pretty relevant to, um, everything?! The story didn't seem sure if it even was dying -- the corruption manifests itself to stop Hilda's escape, so that's clearly something the Isle has control over and not a sign of weakness, but then Astrid asserts the Isle is dying. BUT WHY THOUGH. I assumed it had something to do with there being no more faerie abductions, but then Astrid claims it "doesn't need new blood" precisely because it's dying, so the two things are unrelated. I guess van Gale will figure it out, but we never will.

In the end I don't think it did said anything really different, meaningful, or interesting with its magical creatures this season, which is a real shame when it's done that so consistently throughout the rest of the series. It really feels to me like the creators just didn't know where to take the series after Hilda and the Mountain King. I don't dislike the new season enough to wish the series had ended there, but nothing here lives up to it.

*stumbles onto your blog, tripping over various tree root and covered in leaves* Hi! I heard you have a Dragon Rider AU!!

Is everyone humans? Are some people dragons? It’s it angsty? Do you have a general plot? What kind of location is this based on? What kinds of dragons are there? Is dragon riding widely accepted? Can everyone do it or just a select few? How do people get their dragons?

Well hello there! :D

I've gotta say this is a LOT of questions but I do not mind at all!! Just this gonna be a long post, and speaking of which onto the answers!

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Is everyone humans? Are some people dragons?

In this case everyone is human for this au!

Is it angsty?

Mildly?? I personally would consider it, bittersweet I suppose? The bit I'm working on currently is very focused on the shattered nature of DTeam's dynamic so I'll say good mild angst rating with a happy ending eventually (Angst may also be higher for the dnf enjoyers)

Do you have a general plot?

I have quite a few plot notes actually!! Currently I'm focused on what is a prequel to my original idea, which is shelved temporarily for reasons, so now this part of the story is focused on Dream and how he's dealing with his choices - and his attempts to run away from his role in everything.

The short version is basically: Dream is heir to his brother's (DreamXD) throne and well he wants absolutely nothing to do with it, this leads to a lot of rash decisions and unfortunately attempts to shove away his friends. A spiral very similar to canon dsmp just different motives. Inevitably though when he finally claims a dragon he at last has his ticket to freedom and makes a break for it to have his freedom. Shennagains then ensue, including obligatory Drunz cause I eternally love their character dynamic, Rivals Duo being rivals, XDnf in the distant background, and various other things I'm working out still!

What kind of location is this based on?

In general I am taking a lot of vibes from Westeros from A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, a very very classic medieval fantasy vibe along with the actual layout and environment of things being loosely based on the actual maps of the dsmp!

What kinds of dragons are there?

At the moment just wyvern style dragons, a lot of my inspiration for the dragons comes from House of the Dragon as well as the works of Sawyer Lee (Sawyerleearts on insta/da he has some AMAZING work)! Effectively all the same 'species' of fire breathing beast but they all have their own unique features and looks! Though I am considering maybe adding ice and lightening breathing dragons as a fun little reference to the Ice & Fire mod - not much would change design wise, just kinda mixing up the breath abilities if I do go with that.

Also have some of my current concepts (newest to oldest, since I'm still in the process of changing designs)

Is dragon riding widely accepted?

Dragons in this case are rare, and dragon riders are rarer - when dragon riders usually come about they become part of a kingdom's greater military force or some similar high standing rank. Dragons are tickets to power if you don't already have it pretty much, they are after all the fantasy equivalent of a multi use nuclear weapon! Though there are some outliers who have dragons but don't align with either kingdom in the realm, these being sell swords/mercenaries like Punz or just lords who wish to remain independent and not everyone uses them for war. In general I'd say it's a very respected position to have.

Can anyone do it or is it only a select few? How do people get their dragons?

The criteria for someone to bond with a dragon varies a bit, pretty much anyone can bond and develop a link with a hatchling - if the wyrmling imprints on them after hatching it's a free ticket pretty much! Though hatching dragon eggs is not easy, and the hatch rates of them are very low. The other option to get a dragon is claiming a wild one. Bonding with wild dragons though, is more difficult, no one is exactly sure how it's done but the rider usually has to have some recessive magic genes effectively (magic is a long dead art but remnants of it's influence remain, i.e potions & enchantments). When it comes to claiming a wild dragon what also matters is the dragon also choosing and accepting the rider, things can turn a bit- nasty if they decline the bond. Gaining a dragon is in general no easy feat, adding onto that sort of instant status boost dragon riders can gain if they succeed in getting one!

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Thank you for the questions btw!!! It thoroughly made my day to see a full list of stuff to answer about this project ^^

One thing I really love about Pentiment is that like. For one thing it's very easy to play a very straightforwardly kind, compassionate, sympathetic Andreas who listens to the concerns his friends in Tassing are voicing and tries his hardest to do right by everyone and volunteers to help people a lot. As someone who always worries games are going to force me into making choices I don't want to (or that certain dialogue options will turn out to be harsher than I expected) it's sort of funny that Pentiment, a game that is about forcing you to make difficult choices, at least always let me feel good about Andreas' internal motivations and relationships with others, even when there were sometimes really upsetting consequences in-game.

(And of course, the idea that he's a good person trying his hardest and yet a lot of things go wrong for him and others over the course of the story is one of the things that sends Andreas spiraling, so this is very much something that's woven into the fabric of the game)

But I know on our first playthrough, we chose some of the background options that felt like they specifically lent themselves to that, which lead to playing a very like...polite, bookworm type Andreas. Who I adored as a character obviously, but figured was very specific to our run.

Anyways, I've enjoyed learning that while there are certainly background and dialogue choices that lead to him being brasher/more abrasive and some decisions that cross a bit of a line for me personally (there are a couple suspects I could never accuse, even with solid evidence and I know it's possible to make him a more unsympathetic to the peasants), even some of the more "unsavory" sounding background options really don't lock you into that at all.

I'm specifically thinking about the Rapscallion background because that's what the streaming gang had me choose but I love that the description for it is like "Andreas does CRIME and gets in FIGHTS"

And then in practice a lot of the options it gives you are like

"I'm going to STEAL MONEY from a wealthy abbey to help the NICE PEASANT FAMILY I'm staying with PAY THEIR TAXES!!"

or "I'm going to THREATEN YOU because you are cruelly and unfairly accusing my good friend the SWEET ELDERLY MONK!!"

And when you pair that with certain actions that he takes regardless because they're baked into like the plot or cutscenes, or certain actions he won't take or people he won't agree with because the game never even gives you the option, plus some of the other most popular dialogue choices it's like

Yeah this man does feel a bit like the antithesis of an edgy protagonist

Just read about you okaying one of the anon ask about random ships. Because just like so many people I too like your analysis...

I know that this might be out of your usual circle of favorite characters. Or a little strange ship too...

But I always found it interesting to think about two rebels of rhe family. One from house of black and one from house of Weasley.

Sirius Black and Percy Weasley.

I think the fandom has slept on Percy's potential as a lead character for good story.

Harry dislikes percy right along ron and twins etc but if we see from certain angle he was nit wrong in not trusting dumbles. And he having trust in ministry and authority figures and not wanting to be part of a vigilante group is also not bad thing.

Him having fights with parents is also nothing new, we all at certain age think that we know better than them.

Percy is a gryffindor though. He didn't say no because he was scared to fight. He said no because he didn't like Dumbledore approach. Again understandable as order was full of teens and ya with bright future if not for albus pushing them to fight

Mr and mrs Weasley make it seem like they don't want their children to fight but since they are affected by the war we can't say them no too. But they did everything in front of children in ootp. R + h+ h will be the front warriors because of harry but twins and Charlie and bill do follow their parents' foot steps..

The dynamic bw Sirius and percy I would like to explore but my brain is not much help in it as to what will be the interaction be like.

I mean with Sirius having seen with his own eyes that under Dumbledore regime they are all like sitting ducks, dumbles not helping his own unlawful imprisonment situation, making things difficult for harry.

What if the two join forces.

I too dont like age gap romances but in Wizarding word people live more that 150 years so what is a 14-15 year age difference.

If you are irked about a romantic relationship bw the two than you can share your thought on them platonically joining forces to help each other...

Sirius has a unique situation because he understand what it feels to just move away from your family. That it is not all sunshine and roses. That it is a tough decision. He also has been wronged by order and it's leader by ignorance and indifference, same as percy who like a typical middle child feels left out.

Sirius knows that though ministry is useless, this time he also doesn't wants to bet all his chances of win on Dumbledore like last time...

If you are interested I will like to hear your thoughts 🤔💭

Ok, first of all - I do not mind age gaps. It would be pretty hypocritical if I did, since my partner is 17 years older than me lol I cannot blame Percy for fucking a hot old man when I, too, fuck the hot old men. I find the whole concept of 'age gaps being irksome' demeaning - not to mention rooted in sexism, homophobia and ableism. An adult should be able to love another adult. Period.

That being said - Percy and Sirius... an interesting concept.

Overall I think, while they have ALOT of similarities, they have some aspects that would grind against each-other. That doesn't mean I don't think they can work, I just think they have a hump to get over: - Sirius' judgemental nature and being a playful bully. - Percy's pride and protective nature (being like his mother).

Sirius is an understanding, compassionate guy... but there are things that crawl right up under his skin: - Like 'abandoning' the people you love. He isn't an idiot, he can tell Percy hasn't abandoned his family, but he would think he is wasting his time at the Ministry of all places rather than actually being there physically and emotionally for them. - He also can't stand stiffs. His parents, his brother - even Molly herself, doesn't want the kids to do anything... He is a firecracker. He likes to poke sleeping bears and break some rules. - Percy is proud, to a ridiculous level. He will close his eyes to the truth in order to keep pushing. He has decided on what he will do - and even if everyone he loves says no. He has the childish desire to be a Big Grown Boy which leaves his ego easily bruised... and Sirius would find that naive, and perhaps a little too much like his brother. Percy may be an adult, but he acts like a snotty little brat.

The main dynamic I could imagine them having - Is Sirius being annoying, like a third Twin, someone that pokes fun at Percy's expense for a laugh... but with a burning, caring desire to not let Percy become another Regulus... or another HIMSELF. Facing the pain of having to lose a sibling before he has the chance to reconcile with them - just because he was stubborn.

I think Sirius would want to SAVE him from his own mistakes... and for Percy, having yet another person see his ambition as a mistake would be aggravating. Sirius' earnestness with his concern would harm his pride. And that's an interesting dynamic to work through. Perhaps, forced to abandon his pride - like being fired from the Ministry - would open Percy up to listening to an old dog who has seen the 'truth' of the world...?

Maybe spending more time with Sirius and seeing how the Ministry has treated him - how they continue to treat him - would disillusion him to the Ministry. He believes when his family says Voldemort is back, and he believes Sirius when he says he was innocent... and so he finally has to make himself wake up from his dreams and put his burning passions to a different goal.

Sirius is trapped in his house... but Percy is free. Maybe it starts as just running errands, but turns into a team. The both of them working together - maybe Percy even working within the Ministry, spying for Sirius specifically. Spending all that time alone together, moping about becoming jaded, drinking about their dreams going up in smoke... I mean if you want intimacy or romance that's a perfect launchpad.

I know in the extended text below its alot of negative stuff but I would DEVOUR a good fic about them. I would LOVE that. If you are planning on writing one WRITE IT - and if you aren't... any recs?

Extended thoughts below (900ish words)

Firstly... I love Albus. I stand by him and most of his decisions... though I agree that Sirius is probably not the biggest fan and for good reasons... but I don't think we actually see him disagreeing with Albus much in canon...? I might be forgetting something. Sirius is DEFINITELY keen on the 'child-soldier' thing. He FIGHTS for Harry and the kids to be involved when they are underage. If Percy wants his entire family out of the war, especially his siblings... Sirius wants them in. An interesting conflict.

~~~

I don't think Percy didn't join the Order because it was 'full of teens' - it wasn't. It had 3 teens that visited sometimes - and they were kept in the dark until they were 17. Dumbledore wasn't making child soldiers, aside from Harry - but what choice does he have? "...with bright futures if not for albus pushing them to fight" They won't have ANY future if they don't fight for their lives. By the end of GoF it isn't a question of if, but when: When will Harry be forced by fate to fulfill the prophecy? When will the Burrows' protective charms fail and expose them? When will Hermione fight for her life as a muggleborn? These events are guaranteed. Not hypothetical.

I know this is a tangent, but Albus fought in possibly BOTH Muggle World Wars and three Wizarding wars. He knows the horrors of war. He tried to shelter Harry, to keep him at arms length, unaware of politics, hidden in safe places... but he couldn't do that forever. Especially not when the Ministry was unhelpful, most of the Wizarding World was blinded by propaganda - and he was dying.

Shit I talked about Albus too much again, what was I saying? Oh yeah - I don't think Percy didn't join the order because of that. I think he simply had faith in the Ministry and Pride in himself. His older siblings left the country, leaving him as the eldest. His father stayed in a low-paying job he was constantly putting at risk... and wasn't trying to be promoted. He wanted to turn his families life around. He LOVES his family.

~~~

While Sirius knows how difficult it is to leave family you have a complicated relationship with - he left his family because he rejected them. He numbed himself to their fates the best he could.

Percy left because he loves them. He wants to support his little brothers and sister. He wants to make his Mother proud and earn his fathers respect. He was going to work his ass off in these turbulent times and work his way up to being Minister of Magic.

...Sirius would think that is very cute. He is jaded. "You really think Cornelius Fudge got to his position through 'hard work'' and 'honest effort'...? Oh, you sweet boy... how naive." But I also think it would bamboozle him a little: "You love your family, but you left them? You aren't fighting with them? You're messing about at the ministry instead of being their knight...? You're being a cute little secretary or whatever to the same old bastard that pushed for me not to get a trial??" Sirius is loyal to a fault. He would acknowledge Percy's drive as admirable but think he is putting it all in the wrong place. Sirius could see Percy's heart, his intent, his love - in a way that others don't... but he doesn't relate. Percy's heart is good - but he's off chasing silly dreams. This isn't the time for dreams. This is war.

~~~

Percy was a proud prefect and Head Boy - exactly the sort of rule-enforcing snob Sirius would terrorize for fun. That's not a deal-breaker or anything - but Sirius is more like Fred/George. An interesting dynamic since Percy can't stand bullying.

~~~

Percy has faith in the Ministry, enough to stick with them all the way until the last book - and thus, has little faith in Sirius Black. He isn't going to out him, but he doesn't see him doing much either: 'Sitting drinking in your mothers house... Not exactly trying to clear your name, are you?' He might even feel some embarrassment for how the Ministry failed Sirius, which could come out in all sorts of victim-blamey ways.

~~~

Percy doesn't have many people on his side, but he doesn't feel like he NEEDS them on his side. He is a big tough man all on his own! Sirius might show him compassion and some understanding, but I don't know if Percy would care to listen to him. He is a bit independent man now - and, for awhile, people trying to show him compassion and understanding might make him feel patronized.

~~~

Just the image of Percy sending back his christmas jumper, disowning his family... Sirius would go off his rocker. He knows what family pressure is like - but he also knows what the Weasley dynamic is. He knows what Percy is pushing away from and it is pathetic. They love him in all the ways Sirius' family never did, and for Percy to reject that would hurt Sirius, too. "...You made your mother cry, Perce. And Molly isn't like my mother."

~~~

Also sorry this took awhile I wanted to both give it good thought - and shit got busy, I fostered an injured bird for awhile

speaking of morality in w359, minkowski desperate to be a good person because she has a black/white view of morality that prevents her from being aware of her own moral failings especially when it comes to the tbh very bad things she inflicts on other characters which she never perceives as bad because she's a good person doing it to bad person, therefore threatening and tormenting her prisoner is "good" because she has a good reason for it and therefore it's justified

and that's slowly broken down over the course of the series as she's forced to confront that eiffel, who began as an antagonistic subordinate (bad) but who became her friend and is therefore "good", has a criminal record that arose from when he traumatically injured his daughter and a teenager and is therefore "bad", but he remains her friend who cares for her and is willing to come through for her at great personal cost...

part of minkowski's narrative is coming to terms with moral ambiguity, specifically her own moral ambiguity and how being a good/bad person isn't something that's inherent or clear-cut. she killed maxwell in cold blood, her entire perception of her self as a leader & Good Person was shattered at that point, resulting in her handing off command of the station to lovelace while she came to terms with her worldview undergoing a reckoning

and it crystallizes in dirty work, where she not only convinces jacobi but also realizes herself that people can't always be sorted neatly into Good and Bad or Guilty and Victim, but that every person is still responsible for their decisions and these decisions have to be made with awareness of their consequences

and this is a worldview that most of the other characters have long come to terms with, like lovelace and hilbert and the si5 who are always aware of when they're harming others and also under no illusions about their culpability but choosing to act anyway because it's a choice they're accustomed to making (as hilbert points out, minkowski was a flight instructor in peacetime, whereas he, lovelace and the si5 have plenty of experience with violence and death)

early series minkowski ignoring how deeply unethical some of her decisions are vs later-seasons minkowski who finally understands the ramifications of them and then becoming someone who consistently tries to make the righteous and difficult choice while acknowledging and owning when she has to act unethically, + reconciling with her previous decisions is fantastic development that i think is just. so often completely ignored lest you be accused of being excessively negative about her. and it's no wonder she's so boring when i try to browse ao3 but when i talk with actual fans of her, we can chew on that narrative for hours and it makes me like her more every time