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kaddyssammlung · 3 months

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The lyrical connection between Ascensionism

and that other video that was posted some other place when they reposted Ascenionism on their Facebook and Twitter.

I am being cryptical because I do not want to give things away that some of you may not want to read.

I do mention lyrics from that other video. I only mention lyrics!

No names! No faces! No link to that video even! Only lyrics.

So yes this is a spoiler alert!!!!!

The text is rather long and like I said about the connection that I see between those videos that they posted on the evening of January the 16th 2024.

Don't like? Don't read! That simple.

This is going to be a rather long one.

The short answer about the question why or how I see the two songs Ascensionism and Mud Angel connected.

First, Ascencionsim was reposted and also Mud Angel was posted to that old channel or rather that channel that is also Vessel's. At least that is what I assume. That is my first connection.

When it comes to the lyrics it's “you are going to watch me ascend” and “find me below the thralls of gravity”.

To ascend can also be understood that those thralls of gravity end or you set yourself free from them. Just to point this out thrall is often understood as a form of slavery.

Which we could debate about weather that is actually true or not. The first rabbit whole I ever went down was about finances, property and all kinds of things having to do with economics and also law. It was shortly after that whole financial crisis in 2008. For the sake of what I am writing here I will treat it as a form of slavery. Everything else is highly debatable and also just my opinion. I do not want to bore you with financial stuff.

What I learned from this: researching things on your own and thinking for yourself is important.

Maybe you can guess at this point that this may be a bit long. I'm sorry for that.

Another thing that I see connected is what our boy pointed out in the description of Mud Angel he wrote: “I know this place”. I think he means Eden.

Now you know something up front and I will dive into the rest.

Some things about me in order to understand where I am coming from.

Hey there I am 36 years old and I had quite the journey here on earth. I've struggled with addiction for almost 20 years but I was able to reconnect with something deep within me and I pulled myself out of this mess.

I have BPD. I'm begging to think that really I was born with this. Someone that I know explained BPD like this to me: it means being stuck between worlds and also not being really committed to live on earth.

I felt that. I do still feel that some days but most days I am fine. When you don't feel like you belong on earth and don't really feel alive but chronically empty instead you need extreme experiences to remind yourself that you are still in fact somewhat alive. That lead to SH, ED and alcoholism. And also I remember crying a lot and screaming “I want to go back home. I just want to go home.”

That home I was so desperately looking for I found within myself. I loosely refer to this as “spirituality”.

I do see a lot of these themes represented in the lyrics in general. That is just how I relate to them. I want you to understand this. That's all.

To me Eden is a state of being or a state of existence. It is a state of absolute abundance, peace and also connection. When I think about this I get a feeling for it. I know this state of existence. I'm familiar with it. I feel like we already had that on earth at some point but then it got lost somehow. We became slaves to the material world. That is symbolized through the apple in the Bible or well the apple that Vessel holds. Or even the ring in the Lord of the Rings btw. We are all slaves to this three-dimensional material world. We don't feel a real connection to each other because we have lost the connection to ourselves. Especially to our hearts and our true nature. To me our true nature is being a creator of our own reality, a divine being. But instead of knowing and living that we chase something that we don't even know what is. More money to buy more things? Not enough. Just not enough. It's never enough. Not thin enough, not rich enough.....a slave to the material world.

But I am not so attached to all of this anymore. I like sitting down and just focusing on my heart centre and in doing so to align my energetic centres of my body. It's called “heart coherence” what I'm referring to. I am re-establishing that lost connection to that Eden state again. Or well...I'm just meditating and have my hand on my heart. Because that is all I do.

Remember that in “Thread the needle” Vessel is holding an apple but then he kind of trades it for a heart.

To me this is exactly what I just explained.

Reconnecting with our hearts and our true selves and not paying so much attention on the material world anymore.

Back in the day, when there washarmonious life on this planet, earth looked different. “they have flooded my sanctuary, with hate chemicals and machines”.

The way that we live is not really healthy. Neither for us nor the planet. Seems like the “never enough” way of living that I referenced is the end of us in some way. And also you say that we have polluted everything or polluted that sacred place.

“I know this place”

I feel like that, too. I remember it. It used to not always be like that. There was peace, joy and abundance.

I also feel like I came here (not quite willingly) to remind humans of what we once had and what we lost and to recreate heaven on earth. To ascend.

I don't know how much you know about the different dimensions? When you go to bed and sleep you are in the 4-d-realm. When you wake up again then you come back to the 3-d-reality. That Eden type of state for me goes even beyond that I would say it's a five dimensional state of existence .

When you search on YouTube about these topics you will a lot about the fifth dimension. Most of the stuff is about what I explained.

To me this makes sense and I resonate with it.

We are ascending into the fifth dimension again. We are getting “this place” back or “Eden”.

You could also say that we are escaping the thralls of gravity.

To me personally I see this and I feel this everywhere. The magnetic field of the earth also looks like an apple by the way. It is chancing. But that's where it gets complicated because I don't know how much I can post on this platform about all of that. You could look up things like “pole migration or polar drift” if those are even the correct words. I do get lost for words when it comes to certain topics.

To me this only underlines what I assume but also that's just how the lyrics work. In other words: it's just my interpretation. But I wanted to you to understand where I take my assumptions from.

The magnetic field of earth and gravity have something to to with each other right....

All of this is also a rabbit hole btw.

And also I often feel all that. I just feel. On days where I am not totally dissociated thanks to my CPTSD I just feel nothing but a deep connection to all of you and to that divine state of existence. That “Eden state”.

Why did I bring up BPD? Because living all of this is really helping me. I am more and more surrendering to live on earth. I am starting to fall in love with life :)

To me both Mud Angel and Ascensionism are about: ascension.

Getting this place back, reconnecting with our true divine nature....all of this :)

Some things I feel like that may help?

When it comes to ascenion I like her channel at the moment:

About heart coherence:

For nothing is infinite to me = Nothing. Lasts. Forever.

And also....all of this is just my opinion based on what I know and what I have learned.

I forgot something:

#sleep token #sleep token worship #spirituality #sleep token lyrics

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beeboshmeebo · 9 months

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!!! WELCOME HOME SPOILERS !!!

The Welcome Home site just opened up again, me and my friends have been tearing it apart. I'm sure people have already found most of what we have, but I'm going to document it anyway.

!! Here's a second warning for if you want to look through the site yourself, which I highly recommend if you haven't already !!

Still here? Ok then, let's do this!!

All the hidden sites will be linked, but there will also be instructions on where to find them if you wish to look for them yourself! If you don't want to read this long ass post, I've made a list of all the hidden sites at the bottom of the post.

New Content

Starting off on the home page, something new is already visible. After waiting a few seconds, a little doodle of Home will begin to be drawn. These doodles appear throughout the site, I'll have a list of all of the ones me and my friends have found at the end and where to find them, along with the links if you're too lazy to look for them yourself.

These doodles all send you to pages with audio recordings, and a floating disk. All of the disks seem to be of Wally talking. Other then the obvious "well duh, you can hear his voice!", You can also tell from the color. On the neighborhood page, when you click look at the descriptions of all the neighbors, they all have voice recordings now, next to them is a disk. Each disk has it's own color, depending on the character. Wally's disk is red, just like all the disks in these hidden recordings. Albeit they're more of a... dark red... but oh well!!

Also would like to point out something my friend noticed, if you look closely at the center of these disks, you you can see an eye! I think that's pretty cool.

Another cool new detail that might be a little hard to notice if you have a small screen, it's the fact that there's 2 eyes on each side of the site, beyond the border! If you can't see them normally, try zooming out to see them!

Moving onto the "Welcome Home" tab, you will also notice that, in addition to the doodles, there's also little bugs everywhere! The difference between the two is that, rather then taking you to an audio recording, the bugs send you to sites all called "answer", with all of them having a video attached. I will also have a list of all the bugs in order at the end of the post.

Something unique about the URLs of the bug pages is that they all end in "(number)-14-(initials of characters in video)", which leads me to believe that there's 14, me and my friends have found all 14.

Before continuing, I just want to say how grateful I am to Clown for add transcripts to ALL of these recordings, including the hidden messages (if you highlight beneath them, text of what is being said should appear.), I personally have a hard time following along with audios if there's no visuals or subtitles, so these transcripts are really helpful!!

Morse Code & Hidden Phrase

Carrying on, there is one disk in particular that I would like to point out, before the update, you could click on the little area beneath Home to find a hidden site called "so below", after the update, if you go to the site and wait a few seconds, a spiral underneath Wally will begin to appear. Clicking on it will take you to a site called "neighbor" with a very shaky disk. Playing the audio will get you nothing but noise from Home. It seems like a dead end, however, looking at the transcript of the disk, it reads "[There is no dialogue. Only the sounds of Home creaking, groaning, banging, or squeaking. …Morse code?]", implying that the noise Home is making is morse code. I can't understand morse code, but with the help of my friend @/gothonasunday on Instagram, he was able to decipher the words "help us" being said in this audio.

All of the disks having just a word seems to indicate that a sentence is to be made with them. My personal favorite version I've seen of this is by @/king.achilles on Tiktok, stating the phrase might be "You will understand soon neighbor. I will help you find a way. I will help you find a phone." (Tried to put the link for this video TWICE it just wont work I'm so sorry!!)

The Password

Something that interested me greatly is the password. If you go to the "Playfellow Exhibition" page, 3 (or 4 I suppose) paragraphs below the slideshow of images, clicking on the word "answer" on the third to last sentence will take you to a site with an image of frantic writing on a piece of paper talking about a password. Clicking it again will take you to an image of a safe. Clicking it once again will ask you for a password.

Now, on the piece of paper it says "CODE IS 5 CHARACTERS!! - WORKSHEET IS 5 QUESTIONS - KEY??" On the slideshow of images on the "Playfellow Exhibition" page, you can find a worksheet with 5 questions. The answers of these questions are characters. Taking the first letter of each of the characters names from the answers will give us the password. BSPJW.

Putting this in takes you to a "Staff Only" site. (I wont link it since you cant access it without the password anyway!) The site is full of writing and weird images. The page seems to be written by someone going insane, hearing a phone ringing. with the blacked out text repeating the sentence "Ring-ring. Ring. Hello? Can you hear me? Call back soon, please. Ring. Ring ring. Ring. Won't you please pick up?" Though I suspect that might not be the site maker writing that.

On one of the images in the slideshow on this page, it shows a notepad of doodles next to what seems to be a letter. unlike the other texts in the slideshow, there is no transcript. I don't know if this was on purpose, or a mistake. Either way I took a picture of the text, brightened it, and tried to make out what it read. This is what I got, with some help from my friend to decipher what I couldn't

"Hello.

My name doesn’t matter, I am here to catalogue something. I’m not sure is fully real. But it must be, I’m holding all the evidence in my hands. Pictures. Characters. Text. I can barely read. It’s called “Welcome Home” and it looks like it might’ve been a children’s [???]? Like I said I can’t tell.

It was sopping wet when I found it. When I first reached into one of the brightly colored envelopes, my hand was already covered in some gross [???] material. It feels like antiques are always covered in some kind of grime. I’m going to clean up what I have and do a little more digging.

There’s only one name I can make out [???] Wally. Probably important but, like I said, I’ll keep looking

XOXO"

Might not be 100% correct, but we tried our best to transcribe it!!

Some additional things I'd like to say

I think its interesting how all the videos of the bugs seem to be from Wally's perspective. It also seems that they could be happening all in one day, since some of them match up. I also find it interesting how the only hidden bug, #14, was the only one that featured Home. In that same video, Barnaby is recounting what happened to him in the other videos, mentioning things like Julie's joke from video #11, or Howdy's family from video #12. I'm not sure what that means, but I wanted to add it anyway.

List of all the disks and where to find them !!

(Note, there could be more, but me and my friends haven't found them!)

On the front page, next to Wally, a doodle of Home will appear, taking you to a page named "I"

At the end of the "Welcome Home" page, there's a doodle of a yellow flower that appears on the left of Eddie, clicking on it takes you to a page named "Help"

On the same page, but instead, to the right of Eddie, 2 doodles of a blue and red flower will appear, taking you to a page names "will"

On the "About Us" page, right below where it says "FAQ", you should see doodles of 3 hearts begin to appear, clicking on the blue heart will take you to a page named "a"

On the "Stickers" page, in the description, a doodle of a star will begin to be drawn. clicking it will take you to another page named "I"

On the "Guestbook" page, next to Barnaby and Wally, there should be a doodle of a speech bubble saying "HELLO", clicking it will take you to a page named "find"

At the very bottom of the "Playfellow Exhibition" page, next to Poppy, a doodle of Home will begin to be drawn, clicking it takes you to a page named "understand"

On the "Neighborhood" page, on Wally's introduction, waiting a second will cause a little drawing of a flower to appear, clicking it will take you to another page named "will"

Not a disk, but should be documented either way! Clicking on the red button on the phone on the "Merchandise" page, despite not having a play button, will take you to a page called "duet"

On the "Neighborhood", clicking the word "you" in the paragraph leads you to a character introduction for "You", below the writing, a little doodle will appear. Clicking it will take you to a page named "You"

On the "Neighborhood" page, clicking just below Home will take you to a page named "so below", after waiting a few seconds, a spiral will begin to be drawn, clicking on it will take you to a page named "Neighbor" (I wrote about this disk in the main post, if you missed it!!)

Typing "ywxoev" at the end of the URL will take you to a page with eyes flashing on an image of Home, with the words "open" written below. This is not new, however, waiting a little will cause a doodle of a phone to be drawn. Clicking it takes you to a page named "way"

Going to the wrong page will end up in an error message. You can get this by typing anything in the URL. Once on the error screen, 5 stars will be drawn. Clicking on them will take you to a page named "soon"

List of all the bugs and where to find them !!

(note, this list is in order according to the URL, not in the order I found them while looking.)

On the "Media" page, on the section labelled "Live Interview Audio Section", a little bug should appear near the bottom of that section. Clicking it takes you to a video featuring Poppy and Howdy (1)

On the "Playfellow Exhibition" page, at the top, near the edge, you can click on a bug. It's a little hard to see, but it's there! Clicking it takes you to a video featuring Sally and Poppy (2)

On the fourth page of the guestbook, if you wait a little, a snail should appear next to the title. Clicking it takes you to a video featuring Howdy and Sally (3)

On the "Welcome Home" page, next to the collection of images appear a bug, clicking on it takes you to a video featuring Barnaby and Frank (4)

On the "Transcripts" page, which can be accessed by clicking underneath most audio recordings, on the "Catchphrases" section, next to Eddie's, a butterfly should appear. Clicking it will take you to a video featuring Barnaby and Eddie (5)

On the "Merchandise" page, on the "Currently Unknown Records" page, waiting a few seconds will cause a butterfly to appear and perch itself on the "C". Clicking it will take you to a video featuring Julie and Frank (6)

On the first page of the guestbook, near the bottom, on a message sent by "zip". a little worm should appear. Clicking it sends you to a video featuring Eddie and Julie (7)

On Eddie's introduction page, after waiting a few seconds, a bug hiding behind the flag of the post office will appear. Clicking on it will take you to a video featuring Eddie and Frank (8)

At the bottom of the "Neighborhood" page, next to all the links to the other pages, after waiting a few seconds a bug will appear. Clicking on it will take you to a video featuring Frank and Poppy (9)

On the "About Us" page, at the very bottom right, a little bug will appear. Clicking it will take you to a video featuring Julie and Sally (10)

At the top of the "Stickers" page you will see a spider, clicking on with will take you to a video featuring Julie and Barnaby (11)

At the top of the "News" page you will see a caterpillar on a leaf, clicking it will take you to a video featuring Howdy and Barnaby (12)

At the top of the "Guestbook" page (not the actual guestbook, just where you would normally submit messages), there should be a bug! Clicking it takes you to a video featuring Howdy and Eddie (13)

Typing "woxyve" at the end of the URL will take you to a site with pieces of a lost Welcome Home script. This is not new. However, there is now a cockroach on the page. Unlike the other bugs, this one is much more realistic, and not cutely drawn with silly pattens and colors. Clicking it will take you to a video featuring Barnaby and Home (14)

Thank you so much for reading!! I am not a theorist, I SUCK at making theories, so I hope this "guide" of all the hidden things me and my friends were able to find on our own can help out!!

Sorry if this is written a little weird, This is my first Tumblr post!! Still, Hope you all enjoyed! I might add more if we end up finding anything else!!

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detailtilted · 4 months

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Sample of Upcoming "Enhanced Edition" CHICON 2007 Solo Jensen Panel

This sample was removed when I updated the full video with drastically improved video quality. I did not recreate the sample, but you can find the full video here.

Original post:

This is just a small, 1+ minute segment of a larger video that I’ll probably post next week. Thanks so much to the people who watched, reblogged, and/or liked the CHICON 2007 Enhanced Edition Breakfast video! It made me super happy to see some interest, and I know that was mostly thanks to those of you who managed to stumble across my obscure post and reblog it so people would actually see it.

I’ve started working on the main panels involving Jared and/or Jensen from the same convention. Jensen’s solo panel is next sequentially, so that’s what this sample is from. This clip was one of my favorite parts from his panel. I’m including Jared and J2 in the tags because Jensen talks about working with Jared here.

If you don’t have any particular interest in the subtitles, you can skip the wall of text below.

On this sample, I used a much lighter color of blue for Jensen’s subtitles. The more I looked at the shade I'd been using, the more I thought it was too dark to be read easily. It became more apparent to me while working on his solo panel because there’s so much more of it. I’d be happy to get opinions, good or bad. I was really attached to the idea of using blue for Jensen and red for Jared because of their marker tape colors, and I’m pretty sure the previous shade of blue was more accurate in that regard, but it’s far more important to me that the subtitles be readable than that they be symbolic!

If people like this color better, I’ll go back and update the subtitles for the Breakfast video to use the same color for Jensen. Subtitles are a separate file from the video, so it’s not too difficult to make changes and switch the subtitle file out without affecting the video itself.

Speaking of which, feel free to let me know if you catch any errors with the subtitles and I’ll fix them. Also, if there’s a subtitle that I marked as [inaudible] and you’re confident that you know what they said, let me know. There were parts I marked as [inaudible] even though I felt sure I could guess what they’d said based on the context, but I couldn’t hear any sounds or see any mouth movements to clearly confirm it. I tried not to put words in their mouths that they might not have said, and I didn’t want to force my own interpretation on anyone. Sometimes though, there were places where I felt like I should have been able to figure out what they were saying but I just couldn’t get the sounds to make sense to my ears, so someone else might be able to hear those. Other times, I would hear something for the umpteenth time, often when I was focusing on some other aspect of the video and not thinking about the subtitles at all, and suddenly it would seem blatantly obvious to me what they were saying.

As far as issues with the videos themselves, I can’t easily change them after I publish them because it would create a new video link on YouTube and I'd rather not create a confusion of links. However, please do still feel free to let me know if you catch any errors in my added content. I’ll keep a list of errata for my own notes in case I ever do have a reason to update the video. If it’s particularly egregious, I can at least put a note in the video description. (And since this is a sample, if you catch any issues, I can fix it for the full version.)

#jensen ackles #jared padalecki #j2 #chicon 2007 #enhanced edition con video #Youtube

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dumbbanana · 2 years

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I'd love to hear your theories about Lurien's personality and his relationship with the king ^^

Hello hello! Thank you for the ask and so sorry for the late reply (have had a chaotic few weeks)! Oh boy oh boy! I get to talk about Lurien and my headcanons! 🤩

Quick warning that one of the pics I drew below might be off putting to some since it has some eyes in it. Please do ask to tag if necessary!

I'll put my ramble below the cut (It's long!)

Aside from being the grumpy alcoholic I depict him as, I like to think he's one of those people (bugs? you get what I mean) that doesn't usually say much but commands a lot of respect whereever he is. When he does have something to say, he rarely sugarcoats it and will often be rather blunt about it, unless he decides more tact is necessary for the situation.

Since I partially based my gijinka/human design for him off Sherlock Holmes (mostly the Inverness cape he wears), I usually headcanon him as having the Sherlock-like obsevation skills and the unsociable personality that comes with it 😆On top of this, I headcanon his bug-self to be a dragonfly! One of the things that entrances me about them is that they're said to have really good vision. This video (tw: bugs) that i watched shows someone firing a pea past a dragonfly, looking at it in slow motion, the dragonfly is show to move it's head to look at the flying pea, decides "nah, this isn't worth my time" and then goes back to what it was doing. So, I like to think Lurien has a similar attitude during most interactions, though he is not oblivious to how he may come off to others, he simply doesn't care.

He isn't grumpy without reason though. I headcanon him being something akin to Head of Secret Service and a key advisor to the Pale King (PK) and his court so he is a very busy man!

I think he genuinely cares about the kingdom and it's people, having clawed his way from the bottom rungs of society to his current position. He wants to make the world a better place but has found that even in his station/role as the Watcher, fierce politics and bureaucracy have prevented him from making many of the changes he originally aspired to make - one of the many reasons he drinks and smokes heavily. He does do what he can to help out though and I imagine him to be the kind of person who anonymously makes generous donations to the city's struggling orphanages and hospitals.

Another theory I have is that he's a very politically savvy person and isn't afraid to get his hands dirty get the job done, only resorting to more ruthless methods once all peaceful alternatives have been exhausted and it's clear to him there is absolutely no other option and/or an innocent life is in danger. He has a disdain for people who abuse their positions and power but can and will efficiently beat them at their own game if he is pushed to do so.

It's a different story if they decide to make it personal, however.

On a more positive side of headcanons for his personality, I enjoy the idea that loyalty is one of his strongest traits. He is loyal to PK, Hallownest and whichever handful of individuals he'd count as his close friends. He's the kind of friend who will always stands by you, and move heaven and earth for you. But he would also tell you to your face if he thinks you're being an asshole and/or a shitty friend. He's a powerful ally and a formidable enemy.

That being said, although Monomon and Herrah are his best friends, he'd probably sooner throw himself off the top of his spire than straight up telling them that he cares about them (not that they don't already know).

Regarding his relationship with PK: I'll preface this with a short lalala that I think of PK as a somewhat self-righteous ruler, having installed himself as the king of Hallownest and having this cult of personality thing around himself (like, there were idols of him, his symbol is everywhere, everyone reveres him as the beloved king, that weird text on the fountain in Ancient Basin that basically said "give the King all your money", being described as King and Creator etc.). He's a powerful being, god and king and he knows it.

Earlier I mentioned that Lurien doesn't hold back when speaking his mind and PK is no exception to this. Contrary to the "uwu my king <3" bootlicker personality I see most people give him, I find it fun to think that although he acknowledges PK's god status (where his cut dialogue seems to imply that he has witnessed PK's true form) he simply… doesn't care.

The best way I can describe it is that he saw PK's true form and went "Ok great, you're a god. Nice to know. Now will you do your job and be a ruler? No, it's not the same - you're thinking like a god, you have to be a king. FOR FUCK'S SAKE MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?! Oh yeah? You want total obedience? Then go ahead and smite me. Use your light to instill total love for you. WHY NOT? Make an example of me and everyone will fall in line. DO IT." followed by torrents of swear words as he walks away and PK has blasted a nearby wall.

In short, Lurien would be one of a few people who can (and will) say "No" to PK and still walk away with his head attached to his shoulders. PK has the benefit of godhood - if something bad happens, PK couuld simply smite it, abandon Hallownest and/or create a new kingdom and he wouldn't have to think about it again. Lurien isn't immortal or a god and thus, approaches and understands problems in a way that an immortal god might not.

He's not completely cynical and does place a lot of faith in PK and vice versa but their long time friendship/relationship/acquaintance is shadowed by the knowledge that if PK didn't have his god-like status and powers, it would be people like Lurien who would be in power.

I personally do not romantically ship PK and Lurien (but I don't mind if others do) since I think of their relationship as very close with lots of trust but has major issues such as major power imbalance, clashing values and attiudes to list a few things.

I also headcanon Lurien as not being interested in romance (or the other thing) so any attempts to court him even after he's tried to explain and let the interested party down peacefully would simply result in

Ahaha wow that was a lot (my English Literature teacher wishes I could write this much about anything).

If you read all that, thank you! I have been wanted to talk about stuff like this for a while but have always been to awkward. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do so!

I hope you have a lovely day! 🥃

#ask #mostlydeadallday #hollow knight #lurien the watcher #hk gijinka #long post #tw: eye horror #<- don't know what the right tag is #please let me know!

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mediaevalmusereads · 1 year

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Erotic Medievalisms: Medieval Pleasures Empowering Marginalized People. By Elan Justice Pavlinich. Routledge, 2023.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: literary criticism

Part of a Series? No

Summary: Erotic Medievalisms is about the liberatory potential of sexualities, particularly as they relate to medieval histories and modern pleasures. Each of the texts analyzed within subvert norms rooted in medieval cultures or assumptions about the "real" Middle Ages, constructing queer histories that blur the lines between fantasy and authenticity. These medievalisms extend eroticisms and erogenous zones beyond normative limits of pleasure. Moreover, situating these diverse iterations of desire within the medieval past emends narrowly-constructed histories that limit the erotic fantasies and experiences of marginalized people.

***Full review below.***

Since this book is nonfiction, my review will be organized a little differently than usual.

Full disclosure: The author is a personal friend of mine, and I provided initial feedback/comments on the introduction and conclusion of this book (though not the chapters). So my review will inherently contain some bias.

The main argument of this book is that non-normative sex acts in medieval-inspired pop culture allow for the radical inclusion of queer and BIPOC people in a cultural/historical narrative from which they are typically excluded. Pavlinich looks at four main pieces of medievalism: Santiago Garcia and David Rubin's Beowulf, Lil Nas X's "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)," Patience Agbabi's "The Kiss," and medieval-inspired aesthetics and devices in contemporary BDSM. Each chapter compares the contemporary work to a medieval counterpart and is supported by an extensive bibliography of critical theorists and literary scholarship.

Pavlinich's book is at its strongest when performing "close reading." I was extremely impressed by the insights Pavlinich offered when showing the reader little details about the text (or video or what have you) that I might have otherwise overlooked. Some of these reading are also incredibly clever; I would have never thought, for example, to make a linguistic comparison between the Old English com and the modern English cum, much less dissect how bodily fluids function the same way in the graphic novel as the dread of Grendel's arrival in the medieval poem.

That being said, I do think Pavlinich's voice gets buried under the secondary scholarship. Pavlinich cites a lot of sources, and while some of them are vital for making sure a point is convincing and well-founded, I almost get the impression that the author was counting on established scholarship to do much of the heavy lifting. At multiple points in the book, Pavlinich would make a good observation, but instead of exploring the implications further, he would back off and zoom out to show what other people have said about a similar topic. In general, I think I would have much rather liked to see Pavlinich keep the secondary sources contained and spend more time elevating his own voice. That way, the secondary sources wouldn't just be mapped onto the primary texts, but Pavlinich could show how each text "speaks back" to theory (in other words, Pavlinich's voice would be elevated by showing how his close readings may be explained by theory, but also how theory can be changed by his close readings).

I also think there are a couple areas of the book that could use more close reading to help sell a point. For example, in the chapter on "Montero," Pavlinich claims that the final act of the music video depicts Lil Nas X as a harrower of hell, a queer Black savior performing an imitatio christi. Personally, I don't think I was convinced with this argument because the chapter simply asserts it to be true and doesn't make a case using the visuals of the video. How is LNX a savior and not rejecting salvation (by becoming the king of hell himself - the archtempter), especially when salvation is predicated on whiteness and straightness (as Pavlinich establishes elsewhere in the chapter)? How do we know LNX isn't reveling in damnation? A few other spots in the book are like that, which surprised me because when Pavlinich does perform close reading, his insights are good. I just wish that strength had been deployed more often.

In short, this book is a good intro to interrogating the medievalism of pop culture artifacts that are understudied by institutional scholarship. While I do think Pavlinich can elevate his own voice further, I would love to see future work from him and see what other insights he can bring by applying queer theory to medievalism.

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langlifeofsalma · 2 years

Text

Arguments, arguments--disobey, disobey

I wrote this! (below essay)

I incorporated texts and videos I have consumed, and an interesting argument. I thoroughly explained why Wilde's claim was flawed, as well.

This was one of my first essays, and I feel proud of it! :)

While disobedience is occasionally warranted, Wilde’s claim that disobedience is a virtue is too broad; disobedience in itself is not virtuous, since disobedience causes chaos. Rather, disobedience is only virtuous when it is moral and creates societal progress.

One such example is the American Civil Rights Movement, which battled against racism. Racism against colored people has been present in American society and government for all of history, and it has resulted in many unjust lynchings, murders, rapes, and enslavements. For example, in the book “Just Mercy,” by Bryan Stevenson, he explains and elaborates on the injustices colored people experience to this day. One story he told was of how a black twelve-year-old boy, decades ago in Alabama, was accused of raping a white female. The evidence that the boy was the rapist was insufficient, but in the racist Southern society, he was still executed in the electric chair. Racism has been the cause of many, if not most, of the injustices that have taken place in America, and it makes society progress negatively. Therefore, in this case, opposition and disobedience is needed to oppose racism due to its immorality. Individuals from seventeenth-century Harriet Tubman to twentieth-century Malcom X have committed disobedience; but since it was against immorality, it is virtuous.

Although there are some instances where disobedience is virtuous, disobedience is not always virtuous, as Wilde claims. Wilde claims that disobedience creates progress, implying that progress is positive, but Wilde fails to acknowledge negative progress. For instance, cuss words are often used in today’s world, with individuals using them at ages as young as nine. They’re said in workplaces, movies, and shows casually, yet at one point, less than a century ago, they were taboo in America. In the book “Thank You For Arguing,” the author illustrated how his mother, when she was younger, went to the movie theater in the 1940s and watched Gone With The Wind, which said the word “damn.” His mother said, “it was quite scandalous.” Over time, vulgar cuss words became much more common as people became disobedient to societal standards. This is negative progress; vulgarity with people of all ages has resulted in lack of respect for others and lack of care for the power of language. Human beings like children, rather than becoming accustomed to swear words, should use language and their mental capacity beneficially. Contrary to Wilde’s broad statement, disobedience was not virtuous here.

Assuming progress is always positive is not Wilde’s only incorrect implication; Wilde’s statement also implies that all disobedience is moral, which is false. Murder, for example, is usually legally prohibited, so committing murder is disobediance. Yet, the famous Canadian “Barbie and Ken” couple, who killed and raped multiple young females, including their own family member (“Barbie’s” younger sister), are not virtuous. Neither is Ted Bundy, who killed women who he’d lure into his car. Disobedience can be committed on a larger scale, as well. From the 1900s to this day, in 2022, the country of Israel is not obeying global laws in it’s colonization of Palestinians, where it’s bombing Palestinian buildings and killing citizens, including children. There is a video online of Israeli officers arresting a young boy, and another video of two small Palestinian children crying as they hear the sound of an aircraft over their house, fearing it’s Israelis going to bomb them. Wilde’s broad statement entails that all these events, because they’re disobedience, are virtuous. Murder is not virtuous. However, Wilde’s broad, unrestricted statement claims the opposite. Wilde’s error is that he failed to establish what type of disobedience is virtuous, and by simply stating, “Disobedience . . . is man’s original virtue,” he was negligent. Wilde’s statement is, in all, only true if the disobedience is towards immorality. Otherwise, disobedience can be the cause of a society’s downfall, and a declining society will only spawn more disobedience and negative progress.

I wrote this!

I incorporated texts and videos I have consumed, and an interesting argument. I thoroughly explained why Wilde's claim was flawed, as well.

#argument

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

Text

𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐𝘐 - 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙚) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || the finale.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 3.5k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || fluff, angst, implied smut, domestic goodness, more EMOTIONS!!!

six months ago...

Bucky wrung his hands a few times before knocking on your door, feeling his heart beat a little faster when he could hear the sounds of your footsteps on the other side. He'd been dreaming of a day like this for so long— the day he finally acted on this secret obsession he had, the day he stopped fantasizing and started realizing— but all this time, part of him had never really thought he'd go through with it. I mean, there's a pretty big difference between jerking off to videos of dominant women and actually getting spanked, slapped, and choked by a dominatrix after paying her an insane amount of money per hour.

But frankly, Bucky needed a big difference from what he'd been doing. He'd been alone for a little too long, he needed someone else's touch before he lost his mind. And he knew that he needed something more substantial than a hook-up, someone who wouldn't expect him to be dominant at all. Even in a kink-less, vanilla hook-up, there’s still an onus of dominance, that’s what Bucky had realised. He’s still supposed to initiate, to guide, to be fully in control… and he hates how it feels to be in control. He’s not used to it, and it doesn’t feel right, and it just makes him sure he’ll do something wrong. So here he was, standing at your door, hoping you’d take away his freedom to do something wrong.

The latch turned and you opened it.

Fuck.

You looked great. Too great, almost overwhelming. Even better than the pictures on your website.

You looked so much softer than the women he saw whenever he searched up femdom porn (yes, that was pretty much the first thing he did once he figured out google— thankfully he had also figured out incognito mode), but your presence was twice as commanding. Your eyes scanned over him quickly and your face stayed annoyingly stoic.

You invited him in; And since then, you’d had him wrapped around your finger.

Even knowing to a certain extent what he was getting into, he could’ve never prepared for how quickly he’d fall for you. Not that he was exactly new to the feeling, but he thought guilt might eat him alive: because of course he felt awful for developing real feelings for you. You were just doing your job and he was falling into the same trap that probably every dumbass client fell into.

Or maybe they actually knew what they were doing and understood how to separate fantasy from reality. He couldn’t decide which one was worse.

He spent a few hours trying to decide while staring up at his ceiling— certainly a better way to spend the time than being social or taking care of unfinished business, right?

But leave it to you to change everything with just three words. Make me yours.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about those words— or about the way you said them— since the moment you spoke them. He hadn’t stopped changing his mind on if he could really believe you were his or not. He wanted to, more than anything; and in those brief moments he did, he felt a joy that he had no idea what to do with.

He frowned as he turned his back towards the mirror, looking over his shoulder to watch his finger run over the fading scars on his back. They’d be gone for good in less than a week, but he knew you had left plenty of permanent marks on him— just unfortunately not those that anyone else could see. He liked the way these scars looked under your fingertips much more than his; he liked everything about being in your arms.

Since you’d texted him to ask if you could have a serious talk with him soon, he worried he wouldn’t get to feel that again. In fact, nothing worried him more.

He was typically antsy as he waited for you to answer the door— he had been since that very first time so long ago— but this felt entirely different: not as jittery, but a thousand times more anxious.

At first he’d been wishing you’d answer it right away, but then he heard your bolt turn and panic landed on him like a dangling anvil dropping on a cartoon character. Suddenly the last thing he wanted was for you to open that door, to be standing there looking all perfect and shit, to smile at him and greet him and invite him in. He didn’t want it; he couldn’t take it.

But you did it all anyway, though it was obviously and immediately a new situation entirely, compared to every other time you’d done it.

You were dressed differently, still formal but definitely toned down. Nothing sexual, at least not objectively. And your smile, though it still made his heart skip a beat just like always, was noticeably softer and maybe a bit sadder.

He stepped in past you, and you surprised him by sitting next to him on the couch rather than across from him on your chair. “Do you want, like, water or anything?” you asked, breaking the silence for a moment.

“No, I’m fine,” he nodded.

Bucky had gotten pretty good at silence these past few years; it didn’t bother him, in fact he barely even noticed it. But this silence made him remember why everyone else hated silence so much: it was heavy and thick and made him overcome with the need to blurt something out. “Everyone calls me Bucky,” he finally admitted. You smiled.

“Do you want me to call you that?” you asked.

He considered your question, trying to imagine you saying it. “I… I used to think it would be better, but now I like the way you say ‘James’ too much.”

“If you thought it would be better, why did you ask me to call you James?” you pressed.

“Because I didn’t want you to know who I was.”

“I know who you are,” you informed him. “I always knew.”

He swallowed as the pit formed in his gut, glancing away to hide from your gaze. “You did a good job of… of pretending you didn’t. You never seemed scared of me.”

“Because I wasn’t. And I’m not.”

He couldn’t imagine how; but then again, if there was any truly fearless woman, he figured it would be you. “I thought you’d beat me up better if you knew what I’d done,” he admitted, almost smiling but not exactly feeling very happy. “Thought you might want… revenge.”

“Surprised that didn’t make you want to tell me.”

He laughed a bit at that. “Yeah, fair enough.”

You asked him a very different question next, one that made his throat suddenly dry: "Have you ever had something that was all your own?" you spoke gently.

"Not for a long time…" he trailed off, letting his eyes unfocus as he stared down at your floor before finding the courage to look up at you again. “Is that what you wanna be?” he asked, already wishing he hadn’t said anything in case it was too presumptuous, but you just smiled back at him in a shy sort of way.

“Something like that,” you mitigated.

His eyes darted around your face— from your eyes glancing away, to your lips that you gnawed on for a moment, to the little crease between your brows— and he found himself leaning forward before he even realized it. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

You didn’t answer, you just kissed him first; he was so relieved that you did it, too, that you took control so easily and just let him melt into your kiss. As good as it felt to submit to you, he enjoyed the new freedom he had in this moment as well— the freedom to reach up and grab your waist, to brush his hand over your hair, to tilt his head and deepen the kiss further.

It was hard to define exactly where it went from innocent to sensual to sexual, but by the time you were straddling his lap and running your fingers through his hair, it was definitely sexual.

“I want you,” you breathed against his lips.

“Have me,” he offered immediately, “I’m yours. Always was.”

He breathed in sharply when you moved your hips just right to rub up against his swelling cock through his jeans, making him grip your waist a bit harder. “Good boy,” you whispered. “You’re so good, James.”

He believed you this time, finally.

For your first real date, he took you to Coney Island. Not the classiest affair, and he promised to take you somewhere really nice next, but you didn’t mind. It was jarring to see you in casual clothes for the first time, something summer-y and light which was everything opposite to how he was used to seeing you; but he liked it, and he liked knowing a secret about you as you walked through a crowd of carnival-goers that were none the wiser.

He walked you through the fair and explained how he remembered it, showed you the few things that hadn’t changed much. He bought you a hot dog and even won you a prize at one of the games; that one where you throw a baseball and it measures your pitch speed? Yeah, it’s rigged, but he pitched lefty and it seemed to even everything out. (It’s not cheating, okay? It’s beating them at their own game, literally.)

So with a massive teddy under one arm and his waist wrapped in your other, you two walked through the winding pier, under twinkling lights and over walkways towering over the ocean below. And then you fooled around a bit on the ferris wheel. It was the ideal Coney Island experience, for sure.

Bucky didn’t have a ton of friends, per se, but he was excited for you to meet them. Meeting friends was certainly a step, though; hopefully a step you were willing to take, but he didn’t want to ask you to do it without at least having a title to introduce you with.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he finally told you.

“I kinda thought I already was,” you laughed.

And so, with more pride than he might have ever had for anything before, Bucky finally got to take you to meet everyone (‘everyone’ being a mix of his friends and his coworkers, who may or may not be his friends because he couldn’t always tell) and say “I want you guys to meet my girlfriend.”

Of course you were amazing with all of them; you continued that tactful “I know who you are but I’m pretending I don’t to be nice” thing that you’d started with him, and everyone seemed to appreciate it. You cracked a couple jokes, everyone laughed.

You lied about how you and Bucky met, or at least answered very strategically. Everyone at least pretended to believe you.

Afterwards, they all said something about how great you were or about how lucky he was. The only thing he ever said back was “I know.”

Now that he could kiss you without breaking any rules, he never wanted to stop. He hardly ever did, actually. He kissed you basically whenever he could get the chance; you two didn’t even go out much anymore because he wasn’t very good at keeping his hands to himself, but you weren’t exactly complaining about staying in. You were too busy kissing him back, and teasing him mercilessly while you were at it, to do that.

You had already found the fastest way to get him needy and begging, not that any way took very long. If you kissed him while you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around him and slowly grinding against him, he lost it in minutes. And you really seemed to get a kick out of watching him lose it, just as much as always.

It made him realize that the way you looked at him before, in sessions and scenes together, was a lot less of an act than he’d assumed at the time. He just thought you were a really good actress, or that he was really whipped; and maybe the first was true, and the second was absolutely true, but regardless it had become clear that you had it almost as bad as he did from the beginning. It gave him even more respect for how well you controlled yourself, he certainly hadn’t had much self-control at the time— after all the whole ordeal was about losing control, and occasionally about trying to gain it back.

He didn’t ask you to quit your job. He didn’t want or expect you to; but you did cut down your hours, which gave the two of you more time together.

To be totally honest, part of him got a bit titillated to imagine you with your other clients. He didn’t like the idea of other men touching you, but he smirked at the thought of them begging to touch you and being denied; he liked knowing that you didn’t do with them even half of the stuff you’d done with him when he was your client.

But he wasn’t your client anymore. He was your boyfriend, and he wanted the world to know it.

six months later...

He let you struggle to reach the top shelf for a moment, just because you looked cute on your tip-toes with the tip of your tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth, before he finally relented and helped you grab the bottle of rice wine vinegar.

“Thanks,” you smiled as he set it in the cart.

After that you let him grab everything, content to stand on the end of the cart and push you around as you reminded him what else you needed.

“We’re out of Captain Crunch!” you remembered as he passed the cereal aisle, pointing to try to get him to turn.

“Yes, and we need to stay that way,” Bucky explained sternly, “that shit is addictive. Only way to avoid it is to not have it in the house.”

You frowned but accepted that he was absolutely right, though you groaned when he took you to the refrigerated section to stock up on chicken breasts. “I swear, you would eat these for breakfast if you didn’t think I’d judge you for it,” you joked.

“What’s wrong with chicken breasts?”

“They’re just so… bland!”

“Not if you season them right,” he corrected.

“Which you don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, at least splurge on some chicken thighs. They’re basically the same but so much more flavorful.”

“Fine, but no more making fun of my cooking,” Bucky decided, placing the breasts back on the shelf and grabbing two packs of thighs instead. “I’m still adapting to 21st century sensibilities.”

“Right,” you nodded, though he caught your smile in the corner of his eye— you knew he couldn’t exactly claim to still be as conservative as he was raised to be in every way.

Like any well-planned grocery run, it ended at the frozen section where you got some fruit bars and frozen vegetables (you had this theory that frozen vegetables tasted better in fried rice than fresh ones, and so far you’d proven him right) and he got a pizza to have for dinner in a pinch. When shopping alone before, he always did self-checkout to avoid being seen anymore than he had to… he still did it with you, but he didn’t even think about who might be looking at him, because all he saw was you.

You drove for this trip, and he always felt oddly soothed by riding passenger with you at the wheel. He liked to close his eyes and lean back a bit, or occasionally look over at you (but if he did it too much you complained that he was being creepy and distracting you). It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that he enjoyed the feeling of you taking control, considering everything, but it was one of those little ways that he hadn’t expected. He just felt so comfortable, so safe with you, and never he felt like he was a burden for asking you to take the lead when he didn’t trust himself with it. And that applied to everything— driving, cooking, speaking up in crowds, all those little things that sometimes made him anxious.

There were some things he didn’t have any trouble being dominant about, though. He was very protective of you, for example, and tended to be uptight about how late you went out for walks or where you should be going alone. And he didn’t struggle to ask you for what he wanted— he was getting a lot better at asking for help, specifically.

He used to ask you to say that you loved him, instead of just saying ‘I love you’ himself, because for some reason it was easier to make you do it first. It started as something he’d beg for in the throes of passion, fingers digging into your skin as his eyes watered (as they often did in intimate moments): please, say you love me— jus’ need to hear you say it, please? And you were always sweet about it in return, of course I love you, James, my good boy, I love you so so much. But then he’d ask you to say it whenever he felt like it— he’d come up behind you while you were reading or cooking or something and kiss the top of your head or the shell of your ear and try to act nonchalant as he asked you love me, right?

You’d laugh and roll your eyes before you answered, but it was, thankfully, always a ‘yes.’ Eventually you figured out how often you needed to say it to make him stop asking all the time, which was probably a little too often.

“I love you,” you blurted out randomly as you turned on your signal and leaned a bit to make sure it was safe to make a left— case in point.

“I love you too,” he answered back with a smile.

“I don’t mind saying it so often,” you added, “but you know that I love you even when I’m not saying it, right? I love you all the time.”

It was a simple question, probably mostly rhetorical, but it hit him harder than he expected. “Yeah, I know,” he managed to get out evenly enough that you didn’t notice he was tearing up a bit.

He put the groceries away while you took the trash out; you liked to keep the fridge pretty organized, and it was an adjustment at first, but by now Bucky had it down pat. Before you, he hadn’t even considered that the contents of a refrigerator could be aesthetically pleasing.

Dinner was leftovers in front of the TV— you two were almost done with Frasier, but after that you had ten seasons of Friends to get through. You had tried to encourage him to watch more challenging stuff— you know, True Detective, Hannibal, dark cerebral stuff with arguably more artistic merit than classic sitcoms— but Bucky had had enough darkness in his life that he didn’t need it in his fiction. Maybe he’d find the time to catch up on the last 80 years of dramas and murder mysteries after he caught up on the last 80 years of comedy.

After dinner you were going to do yoga and Bucky, not in the mood to embarrass himself with that, retired to the bedroom a bit early to read his book— he’d heard a lot about this Harry Potter guy and now that he was on the fourth book and could hardly put it down, he understood the hype. He related a bit to the unwilling war hero in its protagonist; most of the time the series enthralled him, but occasionally something would hit too deep and he’d have to put it away for a couple days. At the moment, though, he was in one of the easy parts where it was just about schoolwork and childhood antics.

He instinctively glanced at the door when he heard you open it— he wasn’t sure how long it had been time-wise, but he’d gotten through quite a few pages— but he only quickly looked up at you as you shut the door behind you, before returning his attention to the book he was reading. “So, Bucky…” you began.

“Yeah?” he mumbled.

“James.”

It wasn’t any one thing that got his attention— not just the tone of your voice or the way it got a bit deeper, not just the look you gave him, not just the way the air of the room seemed to shift all at once. It was everything about you that made his body react instantly. He shut the book and set it aside, sitting up straight to look at you expectantly.

And you seemed to notice his instinctual obedience, considering you just barely smirked at him, raising an eyebrow as he spoke his reply: “Yes, Mistress?”

#sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader #sub!bucky barnes x domme!reader

972 notes · View notes

arvinsescape · 3 years

Text

Drunk

A/N: Hope you enjoy, bit of cheese, bit of fluff! Been in my draughts for ages!! Hope you all enjoy 💕💕

Warnings: Swearing.

Summary: Tom takes care of his girl when she has a girl’s night out.

W/C: 4.5K... Yeah idk how it got so long either...

Tom watched as you fixed your hair before turning and looking at him, excited look on your face.

“How do I look?” You asked as you twirled for him.

“Beautiful, as always.” Tom answered easily, you really did. Your dress stopped just below your thigh, black tights covering your legs and a pair of heels to finish it off.

“You sure you don’t mind doing this?” You asked as he picked up his car keys and opened the door.

“Do I ever?” He said back, he was dropping you off for a night out with your friends and he’d said he’d pick you up.

“I know but I hate the idea of you waiting up for me, I haven’t seen them in a while and it might get late.” You said as you bit your lip following him to the car.

“I already told you, it’s fine. How many times have you picked me up from a night out?” He asked and you smiled as he opened the passenger side door for you. That smile was enough of a thanks for Tom.

“You’re the best you know that?” You said as he got into the driver’s side.

“I know.” He said and you snorted. “Just promise me you won’t let your phone die this time.” Tom smiled as he set off.

“I charged it this time.” You said and held up your phone screen as if to show the evidence.

“Good, that was a nightmare having to chase you around.” He laughed.

“Look, if you weren’t a celebrity I’d have been able to borrow a stranger’s phone to call you.” You shrugged and he smirked.

“You also probably shouldn’t have gotten split up from your friends.” He teased.

“That wasn’t my fault, I already told you, one minute they were there and the next they weren’t.” You said and Tom laughed as he shook his head and reached over for your hand.

“Just as long as you have a good night okay. You’ve earned it.” He said as he pulled up outside the bar you were meeting your friends in.

“I’ll try. Thank you Tom, you really are the best, if you want me to get a taxi just text me.” You said and he lent over as he placed a kiss to your lips.

“Not happening, I like to make sure you’re safe.” He said as he kissed you again.

“I do it when you’re away filming.” You said, you really didn’t want to put him out.

“Yeah and I always make you call me don’t I? Gotta make sure you get home safe.” He said and you smiled as he placed a final kiss to your lips and then a kiss to your cheek. “Now, go, have fun. I’ll see you in a while.” He said as he watched you leave the car, god knows how drunk you were going to get tonight.

Tom did his usual routine when he was on pick up duty, he got a good nap in before midnight to ensure he’d stay awake, a couple of coffees to help after he’d woken up. He knew you were having a good night, he’d received three photos and a video, smiling and shaking his head as he observed them.

The first two pictures where from you and they were fine, just ordinary pictures to let him know you were still okay, you told him it was easier than sending him a message. The third picture he’d received from your best friend, you were sat at the table with two drinks and two straws in your mouth as you drank from the two drinks. Your friend having captured it “we told her she was slacking,” he couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips, firing back a few of the heart eye emojis in response.

The video he’d received five minutes ago, from one of your other friends, told him you were indeed having a good night and you were going to be rather drunk when he picked you up. You were with your best friend and you were sat at your table singing your heart out to some absolute shite as you swayed, voice louder than when he’d dropped you off.

It was almost three am when he received four illegible messages from you that he knew it was his cue to put his shoes on and grab his keys, he was opening his car door when your name flashed across the screen.

“Hi darling.” Tom said, he could hear the chaos of the club you were outside of.

“Hi Tommy.” You said louder than you usually would and he smiled as he sat in the car. “I tried to ring but I kept getting it wrong.” You huffed and Tom laughed.

“That’s what those messages where about?” He teased. He didn’t miss your friends shouting a greeting down the phone at him either. “Where are you?” He asked as he started the car up.

“Outside that club, I can never remember its name, you know that one.” You said and he could tell you were trying to be quiet as you said it, failing but trying, and Tom smirked.

“Oh, that club.” Tom said. You’d once been out drinking together and ended up in this particular club’s bathroom together. “I’ll be ten minutes.” He said as you exchanged ‘I love you’s’ before he hung up and set off.

Ten minutes later and he found you outside the club with your friends and you were hammered. Tom laughed as he watched you sway as you tried to keep your balance, approaching you, watching the way your eyes lit up when you saw him.

“Tommy!” You practically shouted as you threw yourself into his arms and placed your head into his chest. “I missed you.” You mumbled as he brought his arms around you. Your three other friends were in just as bad of a shape as you.

“Come on, let’s get you guy’s home.” Tom said as he watched your friends stumble to his car, he looked down at you and you smiled up at him.

“My feet hurt.” You said and he laughed, he knew what you wanted, you liked to be in his arms when you were drunk, more so than usual.

“Do they?” Tom said and he watched as you nodded enthusiastically before he turned around and let you hop onto his back. Your arms slung around his shoulders as you kissed his cheek. He unlocked the car, watching as your friends climbed into the back seats. He got you into the passenger side with ease before getting back behind the wheel.

“Y/N, what have you done to this boy?” One of your friends asked. “My boyfriend doesn’t do that.” She huffed and you laughed.

“That’s because your boyfriend is an arsehole.” You said and Tom laughed, you pulled his hand into your own and played with it in your lap as he drove, not in the direction of home because he knew what was coming next. “Can we go to McDonalds?” You asked suddenly, gaze shifting to look at him.

“As always.” Tom answered and he watched as you turned to your friends and fist pumped.

“See, I told you he’d drive us there.” You said, Tom laughed, it was a ritual when you got this drunk to have McDonalds, he didn’t need to ask what you wanted. “Tommy’s the best.” You said and your best friend laughed.

“He’s whipped, no offence Tom.” She said with a smile.

“Can’t argue if it’s true.” He said with a laugh.

“I can’t believe he admits it.” She said again. “Y/N? Where did you find this guy?” She asked and you shrugged with a smile.

“I don’t know, but I’m not sharing.” You said and your friends burst into a fit of giggles as Tom smiled at you.

“But we’re best friends!” She teased.

“We are and I’ll share anything else with you just not Tom.” You said firmly and Tom laughed as he pulled into the much-loved fast food parking lot. “Yes!” You said as you got out of the car, Tom laughing as your friends followed.

“I thought your feet hurt.” Tom teased once he’d caught up and you looked up at him with a lazy smile.

“They do.” You said as you fell into his arms, waiting for Tom to place the order because he knew you’d get it all wrong, too drunk to read the screen properly. “Thank you.” You mumbled into his chest as you waited.

“You’re welcome.” He said as he kissed your head, you snuggling further into his chest. He eventually encouraged you to sit in the booth with your friends as he got your food. Once you were all done, he got you all back into the car, yawning as he sat back behind the wheel for the final time that night.

“I found something out tonight Tom.” You said, you had hold of his hand again as you rested it in your lap and Tom looked at you humming for you to continue. “Y/F/N has a crush on Harry, she told me.” You said and Tom laughed as your friend reached behind your head and slapped it playfully.

“I told you not to tell him!” She announced as your friends fell into a fit of laughter.

“I told you I tell him everything.” You laughed as you brought his hand up to kiss the back of it. “Besides, Tom would know if Harry had a crush back.” You said loudly and Tom laughed again.

“I don’t.” He clarified.

It wasn’t long before he was listening to you all reminisce about your night, fits of laughter filling his car as he dropped both of your friends off, the only drop of left being your best friend.

“Shit.” She exclaimed and you looked round at her.

“What?” You asked.

“I forgot my bloody house door key.” She groaned.

“Just call your boyfriend.” You shrugged and she laughed sarcastically.

“No, if he’s asleep there’s no getting him up. He doesn’t wait up for me like this one.” She said and Tom watched as you frowned.

“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, he’s awful.” You said and she hummed in agreement. “Tommy?”

“Yeah, she can stay at ours.” Tom answered easily and you smiled at him. He would quite literally do anything for that smile.

It wasn’t long before you arrived at the house, Tom helping you get out as your best friend followed you both. You were on Tom’s back again, as you played with his hair, and he opened the door. He let you down and watched as you hastily took your shoes off and threw them to the side, Tom putting them where they belong.

“Where’s my baby?” You asked as you tore off into the living room, Tom laughing as you stumbled.

“Thanks again Tom.” Your best friend said and Tom smiled before encouraging her into the living room. He was not surprised to see that your haste to get in there was because of Tess. You were on the floor with her and cuddling her as she ran her tongue up your cheek.

“I missed you.” You were saying as you cuddled her. Tom’s heart did flips as he watched you interact with her. He loved watching the two of you. You turned around after a while and looked up at Tom with a lazy and sleepy smile. “I’m tired.” You said as you rubbed your eyes, almost like a child.

“Okay, bedtime then.” Tom said as he lifted you effortlessly from the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you encouraged your friend to follow you upstairs.

“Guest bathroom is there, your bedroom is there.” You said sleepily as you pointed to both rooms in question. “If you need anything just help yourself.” You yawned as you laid your head on Tom’s shoulder. “I’ll see you in the morning.” You finished and Tom smiled as he kissed your temple, listening as the two friends said their good nights.

“You smell of something incredibly bloody sweet.” Tom said as he grimaced slightly, catching a very strong smell that clung to you.

“Some guy spilled his cocktail on me.” You said through a yawn. Tom lifted his hand and ran it through your now messy hair, getting to the tips and feeling the sticky liquid. “He was a dick.” You added. “Tried to dance with me. I told him to fuck off but he didn’t listen.” You said and Tom’s hands on your thighs tightened slightly.

“What happened?” He asked as he took you into the bathroom of your shared bedroom. Placing you on the counter.

“Y/F/N threatened him and he did a runner.” You laughed and Tom shook his head with a small smile. “He was just annoying and a complete dick.” You said as your head fell back against the wall with a thud.

“Yeah, he sounds like it.” Tom said as he wiped your face with a wipe, taking off the make-up. “Are you okay though?” He asked seriously.

“Yeah.” You said as you cupped his face and brought him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He returned easily. “Come on, you need a quick shower.” He said.

“But Tommy it’s like four am and I’m so tired.” You said with a huff.

“I know darling but you’re very sticky and you have to get into bed.” He reasoned, knowing it wouldn’t help your hangover tomorrow to have the stench of alcohol clung to you. He encouraged you off the counter, laughing as you fell into his chest, your body giving into the drunken and tiredness it was feeling.

He lifted your dress to your waist and got on his knees as he pulled your tights from you. You held his shoulders as he placed a firm hand on your waist and helped you to get out of the material, laughing as you huffed in frustration, hands tightening around his shoulders as you swayed. He pulled your underwear down before standing to full height pulling your dress up and over your head.

“What happened?” He asked as his thumb ran over a very prominent bruise on your hip. You just shrugged in response; you had a habit of walking into things even when alcohol wasn’t involved. He encouraged you into the shower, taking his own clothing off as he joined you.

“You gonna have your way with me Tommy?” You asked with a cheeky smile and he shook his head as he put shampoo in your hair.

“Not tonight sweetheart.” He said and you hugged him, it made it awkward to wash your hair but he went with it.

“Why not? You did the other morning.”

“You weren’t drunk the other morning.” He reminded your drunken state.

“I’m giving my consent.” You said and Tom huffed out a laugh as he moved onto washing your body.

“It doesn’t work like that baby.” He said as he kissed your cheek.

“You’re too good.” You said, Tom was having a hard time now keeping your arms from him, he needed you to stand still so he could wash your body. He was careful, cautious as he made sure you were okay and didn’t slip.

“No sweetheart, it’s what everyone should do.” He said as he lifted your leg to wash it.

“I feel like my ex would have.” You were rambling now, saying things as they came to mind.

“Well he was a twat.” Tom said, he really had a dislike for your ex, he’d never met him but the way he’d treated you was awful. You laughed at his words, agreeing as he set your leg down, helping you out of the shower once you were clean and drying you off.

You made your way into the bedroom and Tom smiled in endearment as you went straight for his t shirt drawer and pulled out your favourite when you were drunk. Tom would never admit he washed it this morning so you’d have it for tonight. Your eyes lit up as you brought the material to Tom who pulled it over your figure with a smile.

“Come on.” Tom said as he moved you into bed and onto your side in case you were hit with a sudden urge to throw up. He watched as you snuggled into the sheets, almost childlike and his heart flipped at the sight. You were adorable. Tess made her way into the room, jumping up to sleep at your feet, she’d missed you this evening.

“Tommy?” You mumbled quietly as he got himself ready for bed, voice laced with sleep.

“Yes my love?”

“Cuddle?” You said and he joined you instantly, you snuggled back into his arms as he held your back against his chest. “I love you.” Where the last words you spoke before your breathing completely evened out.

It was 2 pm when Tom woke up, your figure clung to him, he smiled at your peaceful form, carefully removing your arms from him as Tess stood.

“Tess, no. Leave her be, come on.” Tom said as he encouraged his dog out of bed with him, she huffed but listened. He wanted to make sure you got all the sleep your body wanted you to have. “Come on.” Tom encouraged quietly once he was dressed, making his way downstairs.

“Hey.” Your best friend greeted as she saw Tom. “Sorry, you guys weren’t up and I needed coffee.” She said as she placed a hand over her face.

“S’okay.” Tom huffed a laugh as he boiled the kettle. “How’d you sleep?” He asked as he let Tess into the garden, leaving the door open for fresh air that he was sure your best friend probably needed.

“Pretty well, I woke up like four times thinking I needed to be sick but your beds are so comfy, I wish I was rich.” She laughed and Tom smiled as he shook his head. “How’s Y/N/N?”

“No idea, she’s still asleep, probably gonna feel horrendous though.” He laughed as he made himself a brew.

“First thing she says when she gets up?” She asked and Tom raised a brow. “My bets on ‘I’m never drinking again.’” She laughed.

“My monies on ‘where’s Tess.’” Tom said as he sat next to her at the kitchen table.

“Let’s see who knows her better then.” She teased and Tom gave a ‘you’re on’ before sipping his brew. “Have you thought about, you know?” She asked and Tom furrowed his brows.

“About what?” He asked for clarification.

“You know, proposing?” She cleared up and Tom put his mug down.

“Yeah.” He shrugged and your friend smiled as she looked at him.

“How long have you been together now?” She asked. “Like 2 years?”

“Three next month.” He said and your friend smiled.

“You really do look after her you know?” She said and Tom shrugged.

“She does the same for me.”

“You didn’t have to look after us you know; her friends aren’t your responsibility.” She said.

“Yeah but, it’s good to make sure you all get home safe, I’m not a dick.” He laughed.

“True. Thank you for letting me stay.”

“Always.” He said as they fell into silence.

“So when are you thinking of doing it?” She asked and Tom laughed.

“Next month.” He said. “Got her dads permission already.” He said and your friend teasingly glared at him.

“What about mine?”

“Oh sorry. May I?” He teased back and she laughed.

“Yeah, you’ll do.” She laughed before groaning and holding her head. “Wait,” she suddenly said. “You mean you’re gonna do it when you take her on holiday?” She asked.

“Yeah, got it all planned out.”

“Tell me.”

“I will, just not when there’s potential for her to walk in.” Tom laughed and your friend nodded. They chatted away for a while, Tom offering her some food which she declined politely. It wasn’t long before Tom heard movement upstairs, moving to grab the glass of water and pain killers he knew would be needed.

You walked into the kitchen, shorts now on your legs to accompany his shirt, your eyes still looked tired and your hair was a mess on top of your head but Tom still found you beautiful, you looked incredibly hungover though. You didn’t say anything as you made your way to Tom who handed you the glass of water, smiling as you took it and sat in his lap.

Tom and your friend watched in anticipation as you downed the water and pain killers, before looking around the room, Tom smiled, already knowing what was coming.

“Where’s Tess?” You croaked out, voice probably hoarse from all the singing you’d done last night.

“Goddam.” Your friend said with a laugh and Tom gave her a look that said ‘see.’ As if she knew you were awake, Tess made her way back inside and placed her front paws on your lap excitedly. You stroked her head as you put the glass down, getting off Tom’s lap and wordlessly making your way into the living room, Tess behind you.

Tom followed after a moment, you and Tess cuddled on the couch as Tom sat next to you. You were curled into a ball as Tess curled into you. Your friend joined and sat on one of the other couch’s. You groaned as you held your head, moving to place it on Tom’s bicep as you rubbed your head against it.

“I feel horrendous.” You said and Tom laughed.

“I bet you do.” He teased and you slapped his chest with little to no energy.

“Shh.” You said as you moved to place your head in his lap, moving your legs out to stretch, Tess placing her head on your side as you looked in the direction of the TV.

“Here.” Tom said as he handed you the TV remote, watching as you scrolled through the apps, opening Disney plus. He placed the blanket he’d brought downstairs over your frame.

“What do you wanna watch?” You directed the question at your friend.

“Your house, you pick.” She shrugged.

“You ever seen ‘onward’?” You asked and Tom groaned.

“No.” Your friend said.

“It’s really good.” You said as your eyes scanned the TV looking for the film in question. “There’s this really hot guy that voices one of the characters.” You said and Tom’s hands fell to your now dry hair.

“Yeah?” Your friend asked with a knowing look.

“Yeah, Chris Pratt.” You teased and Tom laughed.

“Oi,” Tom said. “Take that back or you can find a new cuddle buddy.” Tom said and you shook your head as you buried it further into his thigh.

“No, stay. I didn’t mean it. It’s Tom Holland, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of him but his voice is wow.” You said with a small laugh.

“Better.” Tom said as your friend laughed as the film started. The room falling into quiet, the only noise coming from the TV.

“For god’s sake.” Your friend suddenly said as she threw her phone onto the couch cushion next to her.

“What?” You grumbled, Tom’s fingers massaging your head, voice tired.

“He’s angry at me.” She clarified and you groaned.

“Just leave him. It’s not your fault he was asleep last night, should’ve waited up.” You said and she groaned.

“We can’t all have a Mr Perfect.” She said back.

“I mean no but at the same time, it’s not a big ask. Why’s he annoyed?”

“Because I stayed out, forgot my keys. Apparently, I’m an idiot for forgetting them.” She said with a huff.

“He’s a twat. I’d just be glad you were safe.” You said and Tom couldn’t help but silently agree, he’d never treat you so poorly.

“You’re probably right, but I don’t have the energy to fight him today.” Your friend groaned. “Do you mind if I take a shower?” She asked.

“Go for it. Towels are in the cupboard and I have some spare clothes in my drawer, take what you want, you’ll know which drawers are mine.” You said and Tom laughed, you were comfy now and that meant any hospitality had gone out of the window.

“You want me to root around in your bedroom?” She asked with a laugh.

“I’m comfy and I trust you.” You said and she shook her head with a laugh as she disappeared upstairs. You had now found ‘up’ and Tom’s hands were running through your hair. “I love you.” You grumbled out after a moment.

“I love you. Apart from the hangover did you have a good night?” He asked.

“Yeah, this really good-looking guy took me home.” You teased.

“Yeah? Did he take care of you?”

“Yeah, I think he took me for food as well.”

“I think he might have done.”

“Yeah, he’s won my heart over, think I might stay with him forever.” You said and Tom smiled as he awkwardly lent over you to kiss your forehead.

“Yeah, I think he might want that too.”

“I hope so. I heard he’s whipped, self admittedly so.”

“How do you remember this?” Tom laughed and you shrugged.

“Beats me.”

You spent what was left of the afternoon on the couch, no intent to move as you came to slightly, your friend had gotten an uber home, declining Tom’s offer of a lift. You were now sat eating pizza that you’d ordered in.

“I hope she leaves him.” You said referring to your friend.

“Yeah, I don’t like him much.” Tom said, he’d met him a couple of times and thought he was nothing more than a dick. Wanted to be the guy who didn’t look soft for his girlfriend.

“She needs a you.” You smiled and Tom laughed.

“You specifically told her last night that you won’t share me.” He teased and you laughed.

“No I won’t but you know, might be fun if she dated one of your friends, she had a bit of a crush on Tuwaine for a while.” You shrugged.

“Little match maker.” Tom laughed.

“We should invite them both out, get them to know each other better.” You said with a smile as you pushed your pizza box to the side. Tom did the same when he was done, moving you both into a comfy cuddling position on the couch.

“I’m so excited to go to Paris next month.” You said through a yawn and Tom’s heart soared.

“Me too darling. Extremely excited.” He said as he pulled you closer, nuzzling his head into your neck as you hummed.

“Three years.” You said in reference to your anniversary.

“I know, insane really, feels like I’ve known you forever.” He said as he played with your fingers.

“Yeah, I really hope you don’t ever leave me.” You muttered and Tom smiled.

“Definitely not on my agenda baby.”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland one shot #tom holland x female reader

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scuttling · 3 years

Text

Stay at Home DILF

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,863 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Insecure Hotch, Oral sex, Fingering, Unprotected sex, A little angsty by accident Summary: Aaron retires from the BAU when the new baby is born, but a year later the lack of structure, sleep, and time for himself means changes to his body he's not very proud of. When the thought of having another child is brought up, how will he and his wife work through his insecurities to make the perfectly imperfect, happy family? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Honey, I have to get going—do you need me to drop Jack off at school, or are you good?” Professor Hotchner slides her foot into a flesh-toned pump, leaning against the kitchen table for support and stealing a grape from Jack’s fruit salad. He narrows his eyes, then sticks out his tongue, and she does the same. “Do you want me to starve, Jackrabbit?”

“You won’t starve. Get your own grapes.” So full of sass, that one. Seven is such a fun age. She decides to blame the mixture of Aaron’s genes and Haley’s, and she pulls out her phone to send Haley a quick text.

Your son is a menace in the morning.

Haley: Gets that from his dad.

Aaron enters the kitchen, holding their one year old daughter Mia, and he sticks her in her highchair, puts her breakfast in front of her, and leans toward his wife.

“I’m good, I’ll take him,” he says, and kisses her lips. “Mia and I will take big brother Jack to school, won’t we?” Mia is obsessed with Jack—her first word was Jack, or rather, Ack, which was super cute—so she giggles happily, and her mother can’t help but smile. Their little family is absolutely perfect.

She leans in for another kiss from Aaron, and then another, and then maybe one more...

“You’re getting distracted,” Jack says, and she looks over at him with a raised eyebrow, then back to Aaron. He shrugs.

“It was on one of his vocabulary sheets.” Figures.

“Well, maybe I find my boys distracting. Let me give you kisses and we’ll find out!” She launches herself at him, kissing his head and his cheeks, and he laughs, and she knows she’s going to be late for work, but she can’t pass up moments like these, she just can’t.

She gives him a hug and tells him to have a good day, then she kisses Mia, and then she puts her arms around Aaron’s neck and kisses him goodbye. Before she pulls away, something comes over her—the warmth of this perfect morning, the overwhelming love for both of their sassy, silly kids, or maybe the fact that they’ve been too busy for sex lately and she’s constantly horny for him—and she looks up at him and whispers, “we should have another baby.”

Aaron grins immediately.

“Yeah we should.” They kiss a few more times, quickly, smiling against each other's lips, and he pats her hip because he knows she has to go. “We’ll talk more later, but yes. I want to. I love you.” He takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply, and she sighs, grabs her bags, and heads out the door. Work is work; as the youngest professor in the English department, her schedule is jam packed with classes, lectures, morning office hours, but despite all that, it seems that Aaron is having the more difficult day.

They both love that he was able to retire from the BAU early to be a stay at home dad when Mia was born—he does consult for them occasionally, but has no official title, doesn’t have to travel—and he’s amazing at it, but she knows her baby can be a handful even on a good day. The texts she’s been getting all morning only solidify that knowledge.

Aaron: FYI - Mia hates bananas this week.

Aaron: What do they put in this applesauce, crack? She’s tearing around here like a bat out of hell.

Aaron: Okay, she’s your child, I officially renounce her. I put on The White Album and she started crying.

Maybe she prefers Abbey Road?

Aaron: No. Unlike her mother, she has taste.

You wound me, Hotchner.

She works through lunch, grading papers on The Call of the Wild, but when Aaron’s name lights up the display on her phone, she puts her pen down and smiles, puts it on speaker.

She’s sorry she did, because Mia is wailing in the background, and it’s very clearly her, I’m exhausted, asshole, leave me alone, cry, which makes her wonder why she’s not taking a nap. She knows she resists Aaron sometimes, doesn’t want him to leave her alone in her room, which is so sweet and also so, so annoying.

“Hi, sweetheart. Are you having a little trouble over there?” He takes a deep breath and sighs.

“She won’t go down, baby, even if I sit in the rocking chair beside her. It’s been twenty minutes.” Wow. He put up with it longer than she would have.

“Put her in her crib with Stuffy Bear and just let her cry; I know you hate that, but she’ll give up eventually.” He groans softly.

“I can’t; I feel so bad.”

She smiles. Her warm-hearted man.

“She does this because she knows you’ll give in and do whatever she wants. I promise you, she’ll be happier for it; she sounds miserable.”

“I don’t know…” he says, and she can tell he’s not going to do it. She picks up her pen and skims the paper she abandoned.

“Are you tired?” She doesn't wait for an answer, because she knows he is: Jack had a bad dream last night and woke them both up, and Aaron went to lay with him until he fell asleep because he knew she had an early morning. It was almost time for her alarm when he made it back to bed. “If you want to try to nap, she’s going to have to nap. Do it for her, yourself, me, a combination of the three of us. She won’t be mad at you; she won’t even remember.”

“What if I give her abandonment issues?” he presses, and she closes her eyes for a moment.

“Aaron, I love you so much. You’re such a great dad, and our kids are lucky to have you. But you have to loosen the reins just a little, especially if… if we are going to have another baby.” The thought makes her smile, and she can tell he’s smiling down the line, too.

“Right. Loosen the reins. Just put her in her crib,” she can hear that he does that, “and give her Stuffy Bear, and let her cry.” He blows out a breath, and she can hear the door click shut behind him as he leaves her room. She’s proud of him, but she also knows he’s going to sit in front of the video monitor and watch to make sure she falls asleep, and that he’ll probably work on laundry after that and not actually take a nap of his own.

He insists he’s doing fine when she brings it up, but the way he sacks out like a corpse when they get into bed doesn’t exactly have her convinced.

“I love you, and miss you,” he says when it’s slightly quieter, though she can faintly hear the cries through the monitor. “It made me really happy this morning when you said we should have another baby. We make perfect babies, have you noticed?” She hides her grin behind her hand, because if anyone walked by her office they’d think she’s insane with how widely she’s smiling.

“I have noticed, but since we only have the one and I can’t take any credit for Jack, I figured we should probably make another. Maybe the same way we made Mia…” They’re both convinced it was a weekend when Jack was at Haley’s and the two of them went to town on each other, true marathon sex where they only stopped for food and water and she coaxed him to hardness so many times she felt like a damn sex goddess.

“Hmm. I remember that with fondness, and would love to do that again. You know Haley said she’d take Mia on one of Jack’s weekends if we ever needed her to.”

Her life is pretty damn perfect, with her gorgeous, caring husband, and her two awesome kiddos, and a job she loves, but the most unexpectedly sweet part is that Haley is so comfortable with her, and that she and Aaron were able to get past the ugliness of their divorce to eventually become friends again. It’s not something they take for granted.

“Maybe we should take her up on it this weekend,” she says, trying to sound a little sultry. “We’ve both been so busy; it’s been a while since you pet my kitty.” For some reason, this particular phrase makes Aaron blush and get insanely horny, and she’s hoping to tease him so much the rest of the week that their weekend is one neither of them ever forget, so she’s pulling out the big guns.

“It’s been far too long, and I’m sorry. I can’t wait, baby. I’ll call her here in a few; I know you have to get to your next lecture.” She looks down at her watch, and it is about time to clean up and head over. She sighs happily down the line.

“Okay, I love and miss you; try to take a power nap. I promise, she’ll be fine.”

“I will.” He won’t. “Talk to you soon.” When she gets home, Aaron has dinner ready; she told him to hold off, that she’d help when she got there, but he has always been an overachiever.

Mia is already in her high-chair, waiting patiently for once in her little life; she kisses her forehead, breathes in her sweet baby smell, and then makes her way to her husband.

“Looks good, honey,” she says as he sets the table, and she leans up for a kiss, but when she presses her hand to his stomach like she always does, he pulls back a little. “Is everything okay? Did you have a bad afternoon?”

“No, it wasn’t bad after the nap fiasco,” he responds, but he sounds distracted. Maybe he was asked to look at a case, or something, and that’s still on his mind? She leans against his shoulder, puts a hand on his back and attempts to push up his t-shirt, to skim her hand up along his spine, which always comforts him, but again, he shifts away from her touch. She sighs and steps back.

“You're going to give me a complex, Aaron. If I did something to upset you, please tell me so I can apologize and try to make it better.” He turns to look at her face, and his formerly tense jaw softens a little; he presses his lips to hers, just a peck.

“No, you didn’t do anything. I’m just a little tired, that’s all.” He smiles softly, and she’s sure he is tired, but this seems like something more.

“You’d tell me if something else was bothering you, right? You know I’m here for you.”

“Of course I would, and of course I do. I love you,” he breathes against her mouth, and then he goes in for a longer kiss and she gets, as Jack said earlier, a little distracted. When the kiss breaks, she sighs happily.

“I love you. Missed those lips,” she murmurs, and then she runs a hand over his hair. “If the kids wake up again tonight, I’ll get them. You need to rest.” He shakes his head.

“You have another full day tomorrow,” he counters, and it’s so sweet that he keeps up with the schedule she has posted on the fridge, but still. She puts her hand on her hip.

“And you don’t? It’s my turn. Let me help.” He looks like he wants to argue, but she gives him the glare he knows means she will talk about this all night if he doesn’t agree; she’s not the sponsor of the university’s debate team for nothing, and even his prosecutorial ways have nothing on her.

“Okay,” he sighs, and she smiles and kisses him and then goes to get Jack and make sure he’s cleaned up for dinner.

That night when the two of them are getting ready for bed, she’s surprised as hell when he stops her from pulling one of his t-shirts—her typical sleepwear—over her head. She sets it down, arches her brow, and he guides her back onto the bed with a grin and puts his hands on her hips.

“What’s happening right now?” she asks, because before Mia, sure, Aaron would treat her to all manner of orgasm-inducing behavior at random, and she would do the same, but since Mia—especially in the last six months or so—their sexual encounters have been few and far between. It’s no one’s fault, and they’re both very clearly still attracted to each other; it’s just one of those things that falls by the wayside when you have a new baby and a hectic life and you don’t get enough sleep.

Needless to say, she is a little confused by this turn of events.

“I’m attempting to worship my gorgeous fucking wife,” he murmurs, and he leans up and kisses her stomach, licks a long line up from her belly button. Her breath hitches. “Gonna put another little baby in here—but it’s always beautiful.” He slowly moves his lips higher, over her ribcage, and holds her there. “You’re perfect, you know?”

“Aaron.” Her fingers come up to sweep through his hair; her heart aches with love and tenderness. He moves up, presses open-mouthed kisses to each of her breasts, then covers them with his hands and squeezes. She’s a panting, dripping mess, and more than anything she wants to strip him naked, pull him closer, get him inside her.

“I love you just as you are; I want you just as you are. Always have, always will.” He smooths his hands up over her throat, and brings her mouth to his for a deep, soulful kiss. She hadn’t even realized she’s been feeling repressed, but his touch tonight makes her feel so beautiful and special… It's incredible how close she is from only that.

“Make love to me,” she whispers, and he kisses her again, but then he slides back down her body.

“Want to taste you,” he says instead, and he gets his hands on her hips again and his mouth on her pussy, looks up at her while he licks and sucks like he’s gone without for ages—which he has, she figures, but it’s blowing her mind, her fingers scratching at the sheets, her neck arched. He massages her hips as his tongue works, as he grinds against the bed, and she comes with a whimper, because her body is so overwhelmed by how good she feels that she can’t even properly vocalize it.

Aaron comes up, just a little, rests his head on her stomach, and she smooths her hands over his hair and his shoulders, since that’s all she can reach.

“Come up and let me touch you—or you can come inside me.” She will happily take either option, but he just kisses her belly and shakes his head.

“No, I’m good. Just really tired.” She frowns, can’t recall a time in her life when they didn’t both get off during sex; he catches her expression and runs his hands up her body. “Really, I’m okay. I just wanted to do that before I passed out.” He smiles, and she doesn’t like it, but he climbs off of her and goes to the bathroom, and she pulls on the t-shirt and crawls into bed. Two days later, she’s sitting in her office grading tests when she hears a knock at the door. She looks up, and it’s Aaron, of course, looking so gorgeous in a black polo and jeans.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Where’s Mia?” she asks with a smile. He leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

“She’s with her Aunt Penelope for a few hours.”

“Why? Is everything okay?” Penelope is at work, she knows, because she texted her earlier about something unrelated and she’d mentioned that she and Spencer were having coffee and that he said hello.

“Everything‘s fine,” he assures her, and he enters the room fully, closes the door behind him… and locks it. “Can’t your husband come visit you during your super secret not-really-office-hours?” She raises an eyebrow, both at his question and the fact that he locked the door. What exactly is he planning to do, she wonders?

“You can, but you don’t. I guess I’m just surprised.”

“Well today I decided to. I missed you so much.” He walks around her desk and leans over her for a couple of kisses. “Have you missed me?” She rolls her eyes, smiles.

“Of course I missed you. I miss you every second I’m away from you.” She reaches out, wants to hug him, pull him closer, but he takes a step back and crooks his finger, encouraging her to follow him.

He’s being really weird, but he’s also being really hot. She decides to play along.

She stands, walks over to him, and he carefully clears a spot on her desk, knows she has a system and doesn’t like a mess; when she’s within reach, he puts his hands on her waist and lifts her up onto it, her ass where a stack of tests had just been. Fuck.

“I want to get this dress off of you,” he says, voice low, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses her, rough and deep. “Can I take it off, baby? Can I make you come?”

Everything is happening so fast her head is spinning—it’s not like him to just show up at her office, to try to have sex with her there, especially when their dry spell has been, up until recently, like the damn Sahara.

He must sense her confusion, her apprehension, because he kisses slowly along the side of her throat, down the v-neck of her dress, making her eyelids flutter.

“The door’s locked, and no one even knows we’re in here. Can I take it off?” She pants, thinks about this for a second, but then he slides a hand over her thigh, pushing her skirt up, and she gets a little distracted. She nods, and he kisses her hard and unties the sash of her wrap dress, pushes it off her shoulders. She’s glad she wore a matching set of bra and panties, because this is like prime fantasy material and she wants to try to remember every detail.

He kisses her mouth, soft and sweet, then tugs the straps of her bra down her shoulders, pulls the cups down so her breasts fall out of them. She moans, a little startled, and he dips his head to mouth at her nipples, rests one hand on her lower back and one on her stomach—probably because she looks like she’s about to slide off the desk and onto the floor like a blob of jelly. She knows that’s how she feels.

When he’s gotten her thoroughly worked up, almost trembling with the need for more, he pushes her panties aside and presses a finger into her, and she whimpers, wraps her hand around his neck for support when he starts to pump it deeply inside.

“What has gotten into you?” she breathes, and her hips chase the pleasure he brings; the hand on her back moves to her ass, squeezes it.

“I love you and I want you. I want to make you happy, I want you to feel good.”

“Me—me too,” she gasps as he moves faster, staring right into his eyes. “I love you, want you. Want to make you happy, feel good.” She cards her fingers through his hair and stretches for a desperate, eager kiss. “I want you so badly, baby, please.”

“I’m right here. You have me,” he murmurs, but that’s not what she means and he has to know it. Just in case he doesn’t, though, she makes herself loud and clear; relationships are all about communication, after all.

“I want you to put your cock in my pussy, I want you to come in me. I want you to fucking ruin me, Aaron, I want you to shove your dick in me and keep shoving.” She sounds unhinged, but she can’t stop.

He adds a second finger—not what she wants—and roughly gropes her breast—it feels so good, but it’s not what she wants. Why won’t he give her what she wants?

“Shh, just come on my hand, it’s okay. I’ll fuck you later, in our bed, baby,” he promises. “Just come now, okay? Right here, right now for me.”

She does, because even if he’s being unnecessarily aggravating, it’s still Aaron. She’s desperate for him, always has been, always will be. She comes loud and high and she clutches him tightly and he kisses her and coos words of love and affection into her ear. She gets cleaned up, and they go for lunch, and they can’t take their eyes off each other.

Something’s very wrong, and she can’t quite put her finger on it.

That evening when she gets home, Aaron is feeling guilty. She’s not sure why, but he’s executing all of his patented guilty trademark behaviors: he offers her a glass of wine, runs her a bath, rubs her feet, even though he’s been the one home with the baby all day. She’s tempted to ask if he’s cheating on her, as a joke, but that’s never funny, especially when she knows he’s being shifty and weird about something.

When they’re laying in bed, he sets down his book and looks over at her.

“I meant to tell you, Haley isn’t able to take Mia tomorrow. Maybe the weekend after, we can have our special alone time.” She won’t say she’s not disappointed, but she doesn’t want to inconvenience Haley, when she’s already being so great. She smiles softly, covers his hand with hers.

“That’s okay. It was short notice, anyway. I’ll still enjoy my weekend, with you and Mia.” He smiles too, but it doesn’t quite touch his eyes.

The kids sleep through the night, but she doesn’t. On Friday, she picks Jack up from school and takes him to Haley’s, who sends him to wash up so she can make him a snack. When he’s gone, she smiles warmly and invites her into the kitchen for coffee; she takes a cup, and they make pleasant small talk like they always do.

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring Mia over?” Haley asks after a few minutes. It sounds like she’s double checking. “It’s really no trouble.” She frowns, sets her cup down.

“I thought you weren’t able to watch Mia this weekend. I thought… I thought that’s what Aaron said. I must have misunderstood him.” That’s the only logical conclusion, because Aaron wouldn’t lie to her. He wouldn’t.

“He was being a little weird on the phone the other day. He asked me if I would watch her, and I said yes. He told me about your plans,” she says with raised eyebrows, “and then I told him, you know. That he better treat you right, because you just had a baby not that long ago and you might be a little self-conscious about jumping back into the sack like that; not that you should be, because you look amazing.” She racks her brain for the first time he started acting strangely, pulling away from her, and it would have been after his conversation with Haley. She asks, just to confirm.

“Is that when he got weird?”

“Actually yeah. He changed his mind, said you might not need me to watch her after all, but I told him the offer stood. He was pretty quick to get off the phone after that.” She would sip her coffee, but she’s pretty sure her hands are shaking. Why would he lie about that?

“You know, I should go. I’m sure Aaron’s pulling his hair out with her, she’s been a devil today. Tell Jack I love him and I’ll talk to him tonight, will you?”

“Of course. If you change your mind about Mia, just let me know,” Haley says, and she gets into her car with tears stinging her eyes.

When she gets home, Aaron is playing with Mia on the living room floor. He looks up at her with a smile that abruptly falls when he takes in her facial expression.

“What’s wrong?” She composes herself, takes a deep breath. They vowed a long time ago not to argue in front of Jack or Mia. She tries to sound conversational.

“You lied to me. You said Haley couldn’t take Mia this weekend.” He swallows and looks properly guilty. She’s not sure how he was able to lie to her in the first place; he’s never been any good at it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I just didn’t know how to say it.” She looks up, shakes her head, wills her eyes not to water while she’s trying to have this conversation.

“You didn’t know how to say what? What is it that’s made you distance yourself from me?” She recalls him physically pulling away, then doing a complete 180 and initiating sex, but never penetrative sex, never letting her touch him or return the favor in any way. “Haley told me about your conversation. So do you think I’m unhappy with my body, or are you unhappy with my body?” He has the nerve to look confused, gets Mia set up with some toys she can play with safely on her own and stands up, comes close to her. She’s not sure she even wants his touch right now, which is saying something; when she’s unhappy, that’s usually all she wants.

“Neither of those things. I swear to god. I love you and I love your body; you’re so beautiful. Too beautiful for me, you always have been.” He’s looking down at her so seriously, and she wants so badly to believe him, but how could she, when faced with the evidence?

“Okay. If it’s neither of those things…” Her voice is small when she says the one option that hurts her most. “Did you change your mind? Do you not want to have another baby with me?” He sighs, deflates, and she takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“No, listen to me. It’s not that I don’t want that; I want that more than anything, but it will… further complicate, things...” He trails off, and she tries to follow what he’s saying. “The problem isn’t you in any way. It’s me.” She huffs, squeezes her eyes briefly shut.

“You? How can it be you, when you’ve been the only man to catch my eye for years? From the moment you set foot on my campus looking for your bad guy, I’ve been attracted to you, aroused by you, wrapped around your finger. You’re so perfect for me: perfect husband, perfect dad, perfect lover. My best friend. Never a day has gone by where I haven’t wanted you.” He wets his lips, sighs.

“Surely you’ve noticed that since I quit my job and started staying home with Mia, I… I don’t look the same. I’ve… let myself go.” His brows are deeply furrowed, and he’s clearly struggling with this; she reaches for him, no longer angry—at least for the time being—puts a hand on his arm.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t quite look the same. Doesn’t mean you’ve ‘let yourself go,’ or that I’m not still attracted to you; you just have a dad bod now instead of an ‘FBI guy who punches people for a living’ bod.” Her other hand hovers, then comes to rest on his stomach, and she smiles. “I’m actually really into the way you look now. I’ve been fantasizing about it for ages. I wish I’d known you were feeling self-conscious.”

“I’m not used to feeling… self-conscious, vulnerable,” he breathes, but he presses into her touch, so she considers that a good thing. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“I get that baby, I do, but this is me. I would have done anything I could to make you feel better. You didn’t have to hide it from me. You didn’t have to lie. We could have talked about it.” She moves the hand on his arm to his face, guides him down for a loving kiss. “We’re equally to blame, because I know you haven’t been getting good sleep, and I know you barely have time for yourself, and I didn’t step in; but you never let me help. If roles were reversed, and it was me staying home with Mia, you would never expect me to do all the cooking and cleaning and homework and bath time without your help. So you need to let me help, Aaron, please.” She looks up at him, eyes warm and sincere, and he nods, bends to press a kiss to her lips.

“I’m sorry. I still don’t feel great about… myself, but maybe I could. If I let you help. If I took some time for me.” She nods and wraps her arms around him—finally—for a hug.

“I love you so much. Just like this. Big, cuddly papa bear, taking care of our babies, making our home a safe and happy place for them. How could I not love the body that brings me so much happiness? That makes me excited to get in my car and come home at the end of every day?”

They kiss some more, deep, healing kisses and soft, sweet kisses, but she doesn’t get distracted by them. She’s very focused, caresses him and brushes loving fingertips over his chest and arms and sides. But speaking of distractions…

“Were you doing all those sexy things to try to distract me from wanting you to get all up on me?” she asks, pulling back, and at least he has the decency to flush.

“Kind of? I figured if it was sex you wanted, you’d be happy to get off however it happened; it was great for me too, don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t really want to be touched, feeling the way I felt.” She frowns, rests her head against his chest and holds him tighter.

“That makes me sad. What I wanted was an intimate moment with my husband, and while yes, what you did for me was great, because you’re super hot and very capable,” she says, leaning back in his embrace with a soft smile, “it’s not what I’ve been wanting. I want you all naked and sweaty and heavy on top of me, going to pound town.” He presses his lips together and raises his eyebrows.

“Pound town? What are you, twelve?” She grins, shoves his chest, and he laughs.

“I’m surrounded by college kids all day, please forgive me. I think it got my message across though.” She touches his cheek, looks up into his eyes, and sighs. “Can we take Mia over to Haley’s and give it a shot? I’ll do anything to make you feel happy and comfortable, any position that makes you feel better—though what I’d really like most, if you’ll trust me, is to suck your dick, and then hop on your dick, and then later when we’re ready to go again, we do the pound town thing and make another goddamn baby.”

She’s so serious, and he looks so serious, and then he kisses her and says yes and they pack up their kid and take her to his ex-wife’s so they can get it on, which sounds so much crazier than it actually is. She gets him out of his clothes, doesn’t move slow or spend lots of time focusing on what he thinks are flaws; instead, she proves how desirable he is by practically tearing his pants off and pushing him against the bed and swallowing around his dick just so she can hear all those delicious moans she’s been missing.

After that, she rides him hard, kisses him harder, plants her hands on his chest and stomach and moans and groans against his mouth. “So fucking hot, seriously so fucking hot, Aaron—if I saw you across the room today I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing, I would still pursue you, I’d make you blush like I did back then. I’d be so forward because I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about how good this would feel.”

She’s rocking his world, no doubt about that; it’s written all over his face, in the hardness of his hands on her hips as she grinds down on his cock, in the way his chest is heaving despite not actually doing any of the work at all. He comes first, and then rubs her clit while she continues to fuck him until she finds her own orgasm; she scratches her nails down his stomach, and he leans up and grabs her face for a rough, perfect kiss.

They take a break, cuddling and kissing and enjoying the feel of bare skin, comfy bed, soft lips. Aaron touches her cheek, tells her how much he loves and appreciates her.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been keeping this inside, and not being truthful. It’s hard, when you’re as perfect as the day I met you, and I’m…” She presses a finger to his lips, shushes him, kisses him.

“You’re as perfect as the day I met you, too. More perfect, even, because every day since then you’ve chosen me, and our family. I could not ask for a better man. Simply could not, Aaron. And if you want me to come home early so you can go to the park to run, or to the gym, then that’s what I'll do, but if you look like you do right now, forever, I’ll be happy with that too. Whatever makes you happy.”

They snuggle and kiss and talk and laugh, and then laughing becomes sex in that way everything becomes sex when you’re genuinely obsessed with the person in your bed.

He gets her on her back, kisses all over, teases her—“mmm, rubbing your kitty, baby, how does it feel?”—and then puts her legs over his shoulders, plants his hands, and fucks, taking every ounce of his pent-up frustration out on her, and it’s incredible.

“Yes, Aaron, yes, baby, oh, god.” Her head is thrown back, and she’s torn between laughing, because she’s been wanting this for months and it’s exactly as awesome as she’d dreamed it would be, and crying, because she fucking loves him, so much it puts a lump in her throat.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, speeds up, sweaty and gorgeous and smiling. “You’re going to come with me—not just for me, but with me, so my come gets deep inside, so it works and we get another perfect baby who never lets us fucking sleep.” She nods frantically, presses her hips against his, and it’s not simultaneous, but it’s a near damn thing, when they both come groaning each other’s names. A little less than a year later, they have Mason. Aaron is at home in his dad bod, Mia doesn’t cry at naptime, Jack is still a menace in the mornings, and their perfect little family got a little more perfect. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x reader #dad bod hotch

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foxpunk · 2 years

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A Beginner's Guide to Canes

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and any advice I give in this post should come second to professional advice if it is available to you.

That being said, I've been using a cane for years. I was able to get professional advice in that time, and also do research of my own. I am sharing this to make it easier for others who are thinking of using a cane or have just started using one, and who don't have access to one-on-one professional advice.

I've put the main text under a read more since this is a long guide, but it is divided into sections, sub-sections, and bullet points to make it easier to parse. This will be a text only guide without pictures, but I will link to other sites that provide picture guides as well. Here are the main sections that will be included below:

Is a Cane Good for You?

Things to Note

Choosing the Right Size

Walking Safely with a Cane

More Cane Features

Alternative and Additional Aids

Image and Video Guides

Is A Cane Good for You?

Before actually getting a cane, make sure you ask yourself these questions.

If attainable, would another support or mobility aid be a better option for you? Have you looked into the pros and cons of each option for your situation? (See the end of this post for a non-exhaustive list of other support and mobility aid options.)

Whatever your reason for choosing a cane is, have you looked into whether a cane can potentially worsen or aggravate your condition(s) rather than helping?

Do you know how to make sure a cane is the right size for you?

Do you know the safe and proper ways to walk with a cane?

Have you looked into what type of cane is best for your needs? (e.g. adjustable, foldable, quad-cane, orthopedic grip, etc.)

Be honest, and do your research, but remember to trust yourself. You know your body best, and you get the final say after weighing all the pros and cons.

Things to Note:

Using a cane improperly or using a cane that is not the right size for you can result in extra burden and stress on your joints. This can lead to health issues such as an uneven gait, scoliosis, and inflammation, just to name a few. Please take care.

It will take some time and practice for you to adjust. Try and do this in a safe and familiar environment, and make sure you are practicing the methods outlined in this guide so you do not get used to using your cane unsafely.

No matter how used to using it you get, there is no avoiding the fact that using a cane places more burden/stress on your upper body, especially the arm(s) you use it with. Depending on the person, this can range from a minor inconvenience to another major source of pain.

Canes can do more harm than good for some people, even when used properly. For example, it may end up being worse overall for someone with arthritis in their hands, or someone with an elbow injury. As mentioned in the first section, please look into this before getting one. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes a cane isn't a viable option in the end. Remember to be honest with yourself about your health.

However, forearm crutches are often a more suitable alternative than canes for many people. If you need a cane for both sides of your body, or are intending to use the cane to bear a significant portion of your weight, then forearm crutches may be the better fit for you. They are also often in the same price range as a good cane, or just a bit more expensive.

Choosing the Right Size:

There are two main things to look for when checking if a cane is the right size for you:

The height of the cane.

How much weight it is designed to bear.

To check if the height is right for you:

First, make sure you are standing in a neutral and natural position to the best of your abilities. Then stand the cane straight up right next to your hip. Let your arm on that side hang naturally. The handle of the cane should be level with your wrist. Note that getting the cane to stand straight on its own can be tricky, and it's okay to ask a companion or employee for help.

Next, grip the cane as you normally would. Move it forward from where it was next to your hip, until it is just in front and to the side of your foot. At this position, your arm and shoulder shouldn't feel strained, and your elbow should be slightly bent.

If these two points check out, the cane is the proper height for you. If they do not, you need to adjust the cane until it meets both criteria or switch it out for a cane that does.

To check if it can support your weight:

Most canes will have a weight limit noted on their packaging or online listing. Keep in mind canes aren't meant to bear your full weight, and how much weight someone puts on their cane will vary from person to person and moment to moment. So don't be surprised if the weight limit seems oddly low, since they aren't aiming to support your entire weight. The exception to this is a seat stick/cane, which does need to bear your full weight.

When a weight limit isn't noted keep these points in mind:

The most widely available sturdy material is aluminum. Your average aluminum canes will have weight limits anywhere from 200-350 lbs.

Foldable canes will typically have lower weight limits.

Hardwood is a safe and sturdy choice if you're going for that look.

If you need something heavy-duty, there are steel canes available as well.

Walking Safely with a Cane

There are three main things you should learn in order to use a cane properly and prevent health issues and injuries from improper use.

Holding it properly.

Safe walking methods (a.k.a. gait patterns).

Navigating stairways.

How to hold your cane:

Your cane should be held opposite to the side that needs the cane's support. For example: If your left knee needs support, your cane should be held in your right hand.

For most common grips, it is advised to grip the handle fully with three fingers. while extending your index finger downward so that it rests on the shaft of the cane. Your thumb should also rest along the side rather than curling around the handle. Note that if you have issues in your ulnar nerves this may not be the best way to hold it, and you should adjust to what feels best to you.

You are more than allowed to switch which hand you hold your cane in. Many people use canes like this for various reasons.

Furthermore, if you are using a cane for a specific injury on one side that needs to heal, I highly recommend never switching your cane hand unless it is absolutely necessary.

To be safest, be sure to use the cane's safety wrist strap if it has one.

Gait patterns:

Whichever gait pattern you use, your cane should always be moving in tandem with the opposite leg. The leg between your cane and other leg should move on its own. Make sure you stick to this rule no matter which hand you hold your cane in at the moment.

From now on, the cane and opposite leg will be called the "cane pair" and the leg between them will be called the "lone leg." These aren't official terms; I'm only using them in this guide to make things easier to read.

Step-To Gait Pattern: In this pattern, you lead with your cane pair, and your lone leg then steps forward to meet them. Your lone leg never steps past your cane pair. This walking method is more stable at the cost of speed, and also lessens the burden on your lone leg.

Step-Through Gait Pattern: In this pattern, you lead with your cane pair, and your lone leg then steps forward to pass between them. This is basically your average walking method with a cane added in. This is faster at the cost of some stability, and also tends to put more strain on your lone leg.

Stairs...:

Obviously, the best thing to do is avoid stairs whenever possible, but sometimes we aren't given the choice. Sometimes it's our only way to get to where we need to go, or sometimes it is for physical therapy. For those able to climb stairs, and for times when stairs are your only option, here are safety tips for ascending and descending stairs.

Always prioritize holding the handrail. If there is a handrail on both sides, simply keep holding your cane where it is and hold the handrail in your open hand. If there is a handrail on only one side, and this conflicts with your cane hand there are two things you can do. (If there is no handrail available at all...please be careful, is all I can say.)

The first option, if viable, is to switch your cane hand and proceed with the support of both your cane and the handrail. I do not recommend doing this if you are using a cane to aid the healing of an injury, or if switching to your other hand would significantly impact your stability (e.g. because it is your non-dominant hand).

The second option is to exchange your cane for the handrail, and proceed as if the handrail is your cane. In other words, the handrail would be considered your cane hand and would be paired with the leg opposite to it. This means you would need to hold your cane in your other hand, but not use it. You could also pass it to someone accompanying you to carry temporarily.

Regardless, by default you should be taking stairs one at a time, basically using a step-to gait. Don't rush, and ignore anyone who tries to make you. Only use a step-through gait if you are absolutely confident you will not fall, and/or you have someone accompanying you that can spot you.

When ascending stairs: Lead with your lone leg, making sure your weight can rest on it. Then raise your cane pair to meet it.

When descending stairs: Lead with your cane pair, making sure to rely on the handrail to distribute your weight. Then lower your lone leg to meet them.

More Cane Features

Canes are made in a variety of shapes and sizes, and many can be customized to an extent even after buying them. Here are some things to look out for.

Grip: Also called the handle. There's a ton of different shapes and materials it can come in. If you're going to be using a cane a lot I always recommend a handle that isn't a completely solid material (a.k.a. not wood, metal, or plain plastic). Additionally, if you already expereince pain in your hands, look into more ergonomic or othopedic grip shapes.

Base: Also called the foot or tip. This is an especially important factor if you have a need for balance and stability. For better balance, look into quad-canes or cane feet designed to be larger or flexible. If you live somewhere that ices over, or plan to use your cane outdoors, look into metal spike attachments for the base of your cane. Make sure your cane either comes with these bases already or is able to switch out the tip. Some canes cannot switch out their tips so choose carefully.

Shaft: I already covered that the material is important, especially if you need a cane that has a higher weight limit. If you are going to be travelling with your cane a lot, or know that you will be using it on and off throughout the day, a folding cane could be the best option for you. If you have other shoes that change your height by more than an inch, an adjustable cane is more affordable than buying multiple non-adjustable canes. There are also canes with specialized shaft attachments to help you in the process of sitting and standing.

Accessories: There are many convenient cane accessories to attach to your cane. To name a few, there's removeable grip padding, small bags or baskets, flashlights, reflective tape, cane holders (to help balance them against a table), and various tips as previously mentioned. Of course you can also personalize the aesthetics of your cane. You can paint it, use tape to decorate, and even add keychain charms where the safety strap attaches. If you wanna go all out, I even know people that stick on LED light strips for events and the like.

Alternative and Additional Aids

I mentioned this early on, but sometimes a cane isn't what's best for you. Also, sometimes you need additional aids along with a cane. Here are some things you can look into further on your own to see what can help you best, and what is most available to you. This is a non-exhaustive list.

Other mobility aids:

seat sticks/canes

forearm crutches

knee walkers

hemi-walkers, walkers, and rollators

wheelchairs (manual or powered)

scooters

Other support and daily living aids:

over the counter topical pain creams and gels

braces and wraps (compression or support)

compression gloves (a.k.a. arthritis gloves)

compression socks and stockings

insoles

neck and knee positioning pillows

reaching aids

shoehorns (there's similar aids for socks)

shoe, belt, and button fasteners

reusable drink covers

adaptive utensil aids

pencil grips and holders

bottle and jar openers

no-rinse wipes and shampoos

shower chairs

overbed and overchair trays

bed sticks and bed handles

pedal exercisers (foldable ones are fairly affordable, but not cheap)

pulleys and stretch straps/resistance bands

and much, much more!

Image and Video Guides

California Mobility: Ultimate Guide

Carex: Buyer's Guide

Fashionable Canes: Cane Handles

Youtube: PT 101 Walking Assistance Playlist

Youtube: How to Use a Cane - Ask Doctor Jo

Thank you for reading!

You have reached the end of this guide. I tried to keep it simple while also making sure it was comprehensive and thorough. If you have any additions or corrections, feel free to comment! Please reblog to help spread this info to others who may need it.

#ActuallyDisabled #actually disabled #mobility aids #walking canes #cane reference #ky speaks #disability tag

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antimonarchy · 3 years

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How to Create Image Descriptions

So I’ve been creating image descriptions on tumblr for about a month, and I wanted to share some helpful guides I’ve found on how to create them as well as my own tips that I’ve picked up. Video descriptions and transcripts are also necessary, but since I mostly focus on image descriptions that’s what this guide is about. This might get a bit long, so fair warning.

What are image descriptions?

Image descriptions are a textual depiction of what is going on in an image, as shown with the image below.

[Image ID: A picture of a person with short black hair working on a computer. They are sitting at a wooden table with a large blue pot of pink flowers in front of a grey brick wall. A guitar is propped up against the wall in the background, and there is a string of lights near the ceiling. /.End ID]

Why create image descriptions?

The primary reason for creating image descriptions is to allow people who are blind/have limited vision to experience visual content. Many people who are blind/have low vision use screenreaders, which read text out loud when it is clicked or hovered over with a mouse. A large amount of online content, such as pictures, graphics, or drawings, is visual and so possibly cannot be experienced by someone with vision problems. As a general rule of thumb, anything that can be dragged or dropped most probably requires a description. In addition, if someone has partial vision and attempts to zoom in on an image, sometimes it can become pixelated and impossible to understand.

Some neurodivergent people might need a description to understand the tone of an image, such as the meaning of facial expressions of a person to understand what emotion the artist is trying to depict

Some people might not have high speed internet or have low computer memory, meaning that they turn off images in order to save space. This means that they as well might require descriptions of visual content

Are image descriptions the same as alt text?

no, alt text and image descriptions serve the same purpose, but they are different in how they are presented. Alt text, short for alternative text, is included in the html of an image and can be read by a screen reader. However, there are many reasons why many prefer image descriptions over alt text.

There is a limit of 200 words in alt text on tumblr specifically (and not in other contexts, which makes this information only applicable here), which means that detailed images or graphics are unable to be described fully without possibly cutting out important information.

People who require descriptions, but who do not use a screenreader, must right-click and search through the html of an image in order to find alt text, but with an image description they are saved that work.

Who should create image descriptions?

Everyone who is able to should create image descriptions. A content creator is best able to communicate the message of their work through text, as they are the one who created it and thus understand its message the best. While of course it takes practice when starting out, over time image descriptions become second nature when posting visual content. Always check the notes of a tumblr post for an ID rather than reblogging without one.

What should be included in image descriptions?

There is no simple answer to this question, there are a variety of resources and guides on how to create one, and you should not accept my advice as the ultimate authority, as I am by no means a professional, and only create descriptions in my spare time as part of the effort to make Tumblr more accessible. However, here is my information for those starting out.

First, consider what type of visual content it is. Is it fanart of a tv show, a screenshot of a tweet, or an informational graphic meant to educate people on a particular issue?

Then, consider what information is most important in the image. If the visual content is an image of a famous building, then in writing the description the focus should be on the building, rather than describing for instance the color of the sky, surrounding buildings, or the clothing of the people walking by, as they are not the information that is being presented.

Perkins ELearning has an excellent list of things that should generally be included, which I will include here. In my experience, these are the most important elements to describe

The people and animals in an image

The background or setting of an image

Elements that relate to the context specifically, so if it was an image of a congested highway on a news website, the description would mention the packed cars

The colors of an image (don’t overdo it however, a simple ‘light blue’ will suffice, no need to say something like ‘a color blue that is similar to the color of a robin’s egg’ unless it is crucial to the viewer’s comprehension of an image)

Context for an image. For instance, imagine if someone had drawn a version of the Bernie Sanders ‘I am once again asking’ meme, with Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place.” Rather than provide a description to the example such as: [Image ID: A drawing of Eleanor Shellstrop saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place.” /.End ID] you would instead say [Image ID: A redraw of the Bernie Sanders ‘I am once again asking’ meme with Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place. /.End ID]

If the image is of a social media post, include the username/handle of the creator as well as the reactions (likes/reblogs) if they are visible in the image, as they may be cut off by the original screenshotter.

If it is a drawing or piece of art, always look for the artist’s signature when writing a description

How do I write an image description?

To start off, here is an example description written for a piece of art I made myself.

[Image ID: A digital drawing of Suki from Avatar: The Last Airbender over a gold background. She is shown from the shoulders up facing the viewer, and has a neutral expression. She is wearing metal armor over a light green tunic, and is wearing her Kyoshi Warriors facepaint and headdress. The artist’s signature ‘Astra’ is written in the lower right of the image. /.End ID]

In this description:

I made clear where the description begins and ends, so that someone with a screenreader is not confused. I usually use brackets ([ ]), write the words ‘Image ID’ (or video/gif/other) and finish with a slash, period, and the words End ID. (/.End ID)

I emphasized the type of image, in this case a digital drawing

I said the character’s name (obviously this may not be known if describing a photo or something you are not familiar with)

I described the background and the character’s clothing

I described her expression

I included the description of my signature.

This is my basic process for writing a description

I first say what the content is, such as a drawing, photo, or screenshot of a tweet.

I then use what is called Object-Action-Context for the most part, which UXDesign has a long article on https://uxdesign.cc/how-to-write-an-image-description-2f30d3bf5546. For example, [Image ID: A photo of a person standing in a crowd waving to someone out of view in front of a river. /.End ID] While obviously I would usually provide more information than that, Person = object, standing + waving to someone out of view = action, and ‘in a crowd’ = context.

I describe the clothing that might be worn

I talk about the position that people in an image might be in, such as leaning against one another on a couch, or standing with their fingers intertwined

I talk about the expressions on their faces, if shown

I talk about their general appearance (if important to the description) such as hair color/length

As said before, I talk about the context of an image if necessary

If the background is a simple color, I usually include it in the first sentence of the description. However if it is more complicated, such as a river winding through a dense forest, I include that at the end of the description after describing the important elements.

Typically if I am reblogging an image, I do not add on any commentary after creating an image description, as this allows others to reblog my description without my personal reaction. If I want to add on to an image, I usually reblog my description post.

In general, it is best to remain objective when writing a description, meaning not including your opinion of the content. However especially in an informal setting, say for instance you were describing an adorable cow, I would see it as fine to say [Image ID: A small drawing of an adorable cow. /.End ID] because the emphasis is on the appearance. There isn’t a clearcut answer, and it really depends on the context.

What are some tips for writing descriptions/common pitfalls?

If there is an element of an image like a line that represents an emotion, or a sound effect like ‘clang’ if something falls, include that in the description. For instance, [Image ID: ...beside the mug that has fallen on the floor, there are the words ‘sploosh’ indicating the sound of the water that has spilled out. /.End ID]

Put image descriptions first. Don’t hide them under readmores or any other text. If you have something with multiple images and you are the creator, place the description under each image in succession rather than all at the end. Readmores are ableist, as they require someone who has vision problems/one of the conditions described above to do more work to access the message of visual content.

If you are mentioning the skin color and/or race of someone in an image, make sure you describe it for anyone else who might be in an image. Don’t just describe the race of someone who appears to not be white. This doesn’t mean that you have to describe race, such as if the character is one whose race is commonly known, just that if you do, make sure you do it for all characters/people in an image.

In order to write IDs effectively, I’ve found it useful to download a screen reader. I use NVDA, which is entirely free and easy to use and can be downloaded here: https://www.nvaccess.org/download/.

Insert + Q turns it off

While my guide has focused mostly on image descriptions, video descriptions are also necessary. However they are not my area of expertise, and differ slightly, so I would recommend anyone interested in them to check out this website https://www.washington.edu/accessibility/videos/

Transcripts, for those who are d/Deaf/Hard of Hearing, are also necessary for making content accessible, and might be required for content that also has a visual format, such as a Tiktok. I would recommend this website https://www.w3.org/WAI/media/av/transcripts/ for anyone interested in writing transcripts

What are some more resources I can check out?

Here are a series of websites that I have found while researching how to write descriptions

UX Design - I mentioned UX Design earlier when talking about Object - Action - Context, this article is very useful and examines how to structure a description and provides very useful examples for beginners

Perkins E-Learning - This article is very useful in helping someone what to include in a description, such as clothing or background information, as well as providing some additional information on alt text if you are interested

Meloukhianet - This blog post by s. e. smith goes into detail on the elements of an image to emphasize depending on its context, using the example of a picture of their cat sunning himself.

SOAP - This article by the Stanford Online Accessibility Program (SOAP) provides a large amount of information on the purpose of image descriptions and what content requires them

HubPages - This article by SOTD and Zera discusses the difference between sparse, lush, and overdone descriptions, which is the amount of information included, and if/when each should be used.

I hope you found this information helpful, I encourage everyone to check out these websites, and my inbox is always open for questions!

#has id #please feel free to send me any questions you might have!#while I am not a professional by any definition of the term #accessibility is a large interest of mine and so I am more than happy to help #image descriptions #accessibility

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thran-duils · 3 years

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And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (P.3)

Title: And Those I Can’t Charm, I Can Kill (Part Three) Summary: Fem!Reader x Mafia!Tony Stark. Too many fringe gangs were making ties and your father noticed. He reached out to the Stark mob for an alliance, offering up a piece of his territory at first. When Stark told him he had enough land, your father offered up the next best thing: you. He knew Stark needed a wife and what better way to solidify a relationship between the two mafia families? You were not naïve, you knew the life and you were trained with guns and negotiations. Your father had made sure of that. The two of you had seen each other on multiple occasions at mafia get togethers and knew of each other. Stark accepted the transaction but little did he know he was going to get a little hellion handed over to him that would not kiss the ground he walked on. He would grow to love it too. Words: 2,559 Warnings (more WILL be added, I am sure): Eventual smut, power dynamics, sexism, smut, public sex, fingering, dom/sub powerplay, kidnapping, violence, death, knife kink, gun kink, angst with a happy ending Author’s Note: I’ve been listening to this song on repeat for AN HOUR as I’ve been writing this. What a club song.

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost mobile || Fanfic masterpost

A handful of days later, you were following a bouncer through a crowded club. You and your friends had gone out to dinner and Tony had told you on the phone to come here after dinner. It was Natasha’s birthday, and you were supposed to be there to celebrate it with them. He had granted you permission to bring some of your friends. You were unsure if it was just him being nice or if he wanted to know who your friends were for a better read on you. Perhaps it was both.

“This is nice!” One of your friends said in your ear as the group of you were let into the roped off VIP area.

The plush, white seats of the multiple long booths were glimmering in the neon lights and your eyes were drawn to the sectioned video screen, watching the underwater animation on the different screens. Some people were already here, but the only one you recognized was Bucky. He was sitting with a couple of other men, and he gave you a little wave. You acknowledged him in return and noticed he took his phone out. There was a large chance he was texting Tony to let him know that you were there. Keeping tabs still and the thought of it made you scowl.

Even more so when you knew Tony was not there yet. If he wanted you here so bad, where was he? You could have gone to a bar after dinner for a while rather than just coming straight here like he requested. He had been on a business trip the last couple of days, and you were not close to Natasha. It was all about appearances for him. Appear happy. Appear like a power couple. You had acted your part well the other day in the restaurant and he had been satisfied with that. You had felt a flutter of pride seeing how he smiled at you, how impressed he had been at how you handled yourself. Like he saw some worth in you other than a trophy wife.

“Where are the drinks?” Your friend asked, interrupting your thoughts, and you snorted.

“My thoughts exactly.”

<><><>

Tony walked into the VIP section, followed by Rhodey and Bruce. His eyes were running over the people in there, some of them from his crew and the others, Y/N’s friends. He quickly realized Y/N was nowhere in sight and he sighed, annoyance bubbling in his chest. He had specifically told her to come here after they finished dinner. It was after 10:30pm; there was no way she was still eating dinner.

He had been in Atlanta the last couple of days and had just gotten back home mere hours beforehand.

Donning a mask of contentment, he walked over to the table where Natasha was sitting with Clint. He held out the bag he was holding, and Natasha waved him off.

“You did not need to buy me anything. You already provided this amazing space to celebrate me.”

“Take it or I’ll make you open it,” he half teased.

She kissed his cheek and he smiled in response, handing the bag off to her.

Standing straight again, his eyes landed on the ladies in the booth. Bucky was nowhere in sight, so he could not ask him, so he walked over to the women. They eyed him, some looking at him with curiosity, others with arousal.

“Ladies,” he greeted.

“Mr. Stark?” one of them ventured.

He flashed a smile, “Guilty. Can any of you tell me where my lovely wife is? Did she leave?”

“She’s dancing!” The woman closest to him answered over the music.

Tony exhaled, “Right. Okay. Thank you.”

“Thank you for inviting us!” the first girl said and he nodded.

“Anything to make Y/N feel more comfortable.”

<><><>

Near the railing, Bucky had already realized himself Y/N was not upstairs with the group when he noticed Tony arrived, so he was putting eyes on the crowd outside the VIP section where he had a better view of the dance floor. He was hoping to get an eye on her before Tony did in case anything was less than savory. She had left the section awhile ago and had not come back. In his drunk haze, he had not been paying close enough attention to the amount of time. Stupid stupid stupid. She was a target as much as Tony now, probably even more so because she could be held for ransom as collateral. He should have been paying more attention. He was not her body guard though; that had been Erick. And he had followed her down.

“Christ,” Bucky said to himself as he spotted Y/N near the bar.

“What?” Bruce asked him, his hand coming to rest on the railing as he peered over the crowd.

Bucky startled at Bruce’s voice but recovered quickly. “Where’s Tony?”

“Right here,” Tony answered from behind him. Bucky swallowed sharply before turning his head. “Where’s Y/N? Her friends said she was dancing.” He joined them at the railing. “Has she been drinking a lot?”

“They had a couple shots when she was up here. She left about twenty minutes ago to go downstairs. Erick went with her,” Bucky informed him. He saw Erick was off to the side though, not interfering with the scene in front of him. “She’s by the bar… with that guy.”

<><><>

The man’s hand slipped up your skirt and you stiffened.

Trying to pull away you turned around to face him. Taking a step back you kept dancing but carved out some space for yourself. The guy looked amused by the action and his hands were pawing at your hips again, yanking you close again. His hands slipped back, gripping at your ass.

“Okay,” you forced out a laugh, hands coming to his arms. “Let’s keep it friendly.”

“I’m being perfectly friendly,” he answered, refusing to let you get away.

Attempting to pull away, you said, “Friendly as in PG. No hands up the skirts.”

The guy chuckled, trying to pull you back to him. “Sweetheart, with legs like that, can you blame me for trying to touch you?”

“Yes, I can,” you told him, pulling away with more force this time. “We’re dancing, not dry humping.”

“Is there a difference?” he asked, still all smiles but you could see the tight lines at his eyes. The smile was becoming more forced. He was getting impatient. He was on you again, hands coming to your sides.

“I’m married. There’s a big—” you started to say before you were suddenly jerked away from the guy and a figure came in between the two of you.

It took you a few moments to register it was your husband. His back was to you but you could sense he was enraged.

“The fuck is your problem?” the guy shouted at Tony above the music.

“My problem is you’re touching my wife!”

The guy’s eyes shot to you, where you were standing behind Tony. He tried to brush of the awkwardness by crassly laughing, “Maybe you should tell your ‘wife’ to not be such a slut and guys like me wouldn’t put their hands on her!”

Tony’s fist collided with his center, right below the rib cage. The guy’s eyes bulged, gasping for air. Tony socked him again in the same spot with precision, causing his knees to buckle. Tony’s closed fist came down hard across his cheek, whiplashing the guy’s head and knocking him completely to the ground. The crowd had parted, and it was just the pair of them in the small circle, the music still bumping. The guy had not even stood a chance.

He turned on you now and your eyes were wide, shocked he had just beaten the crap out of someone in front of everyone.

“You. Me. Upstairs,” Tony ordered loudly to you, his hand clamping down around your arm.

“They’re gonna call the cops!” you gasped.

“They shouldn’t. I own the place,” Tony responded gruffly, his hand tight around your arm as he dragged you away.

When had he taken over? This place used to be Balthazar’s. Erick was there suddenly, and he was already pulling the guy to his feet. He told Tony he had it and Tony barely registered that he had heard him. You felt eyes on the pair of you as he moved through the crowd that parted easily for him at first but the further you got from the scene, it was a normal inebriated crowd dancing their lives away.

Tony was pulling you up the stairs and turned you away from where the VIP section was on the other end of the upper floor.

“What are you doing? Where are we going?” you demanded.

He did not answer you and took you down the hall that was marked Exit. He held up his watch to the door and it unlocked, and he pulled you inside. There were a couple of men sitting on the couches inside the room – you guessed it was the manager’s office.

“Get out!” Tony barked at them, and they scrambled to do what he said as quickly as possible.

As the door locked close again, Tony whipped you around him and let go of your arm in a fluid motion. His nostrils flared, his eyes wide with his anger. He was visibly shaking when he snarled, “How dare you disrespect me like that! Not even just in public but in my own fucking club!”

Just as enraged at being handled like you had been, you shouted back, “I didn’t ask him to touch me like that, Tony! I was trying to get away from him! Or were you too wrapped up in your own damn ego to notice that?”

Tony snorted, “You didn’t have to ask him if you were already dancing on your own! Seems to me you were looking for trouble! You should have stayed upstairs!”

“Yeah well, good thing you were there! I apparently need a handler!”

Tony was on you, hovering. “I’m glad you recognize that because you drive me insane!”

You shoved him and his eyes were wild, angry you had done it. Well, fucking good! He was blaming you for something you had not done, and he did not need to be so goddamn close. You did it again when he still didn’t give you space.

“I drive you insane?” you demanded.

“Immensely!”

“Right back at you!” you retorted. “Maybe you shouldn’t accuse me of things I haven’t done! You did the right thing taking me away, but your anger is completely misdirected! I wasn’t trying to disrespect you! I wanted to just dance! And then some guy comes and lays hands all over me! I told him I was married and he didn’t care! That was the problem! Not me wanting to dance! Redirect your anger, you pompous asshole!”

Tony’s hand came up to lazily point at his chest, sarcasm dripping, “Oh, I’m an asshole?”

“Did I stutter?”

“According to you, I just saved you from an uncomfortable situation!”

“Do you want me to throw you a fucking parade for acting like a decent human being who saw someone in trouble and came to the rescue?”

“You’re so goddamn overdramatic!”

“Overdramatic?”

“Did I stutter?” Tony spat back.

Your chests heaving from your passion, the anger thrumming, the two of you stared daggers through the other. The music was muffled by the door, only the bass thumping.

The air was tight.

Tony’s lips parted ever so slightly, and your eyes fell to the movement for a brief second before meeting his gaze again.

Too tight. It was spilling over.

You threw hands at him but in a different type of aggressiveness. Your fingers curled into his shirt, yanking him to you instead of away. Your lips crashed together, and his arms found their home around you. Your back hit the wall and he was grinding his pelvis into you, both of you gasping for brief air in between passionate kisses. His hands ruched your dress up over your hips and he quickly came to grip at your ass as he groaned into your kiss.

“Unzip me,” you gasped and he did so without any more direction, shoving the dress down your body, leaving you in your bra and thong.

Tony was breathing erratic, watching you hungrily.

“Lose them,” you told him, meaning his jeans, tugging at them, and he caught the gist.

The two of you moved in tandem, shredding clothing left and right until you found yourselves up against the couch, the back of Tony’s calves hitting it first. Climbing up and straddling him, you dipped down, holding his jaw as you kissed him with fervor. Tony’s tongue slipped past your lips, swirling around you own. You moaned into his mouth, grinding your hips and he responded in like.

His hands were gripping at the base of your ass, pulling you closer, forcing your pussy to brush against him harder.

You pulled away and he instinctively followed, his lips still pursed. You smiled at the sight, and he noticed, expression falling if only for a moment. You guided him to your entrance and you sunk slowly. His fingers flexed, his breath catching.

“God, you’re drenched,” he murmured, his cock fitting inside, brushing every nerve. “You’ve been such a goddamn tease.”

“A tease?” you asked, sinking completely and he groaned loudly, fully seated inside. “Maybe I was waiting for you to prove yourself! Apparently you can handle me.” You pulled back up, only his head buried in your folds to tease him. “What a coincidence.”

Tony responded with digging his fingers into your thighs and he thrusted hard.

Nipping at his nose, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“Stop stalling,” he growled. He was impatient.

He had been waiting for this for so long, you could gather that. If what your friend had overheard at the wedding was any indication of that. Well, you were going to let him have it.

You were bouncing, your thighs slapping against his. You were falling into the complete and pure pleasure. It was different with him; he was yours, you were his. You controlled the movements and he let you. He was so goddamn attractive and you felt the emotion overwhelming you that you were really married to this man. You needed to stake your claim and it only made you ride harder.

Tony held you close, whispering about how beautiful you were and how lucky he was. Bite marks were left along the top of your breasts, his tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking in. He was worshiping you, completely lost.

And when he gripped you tightly, you gasped when you felt his cum coating, finishing deep. His hand came down, almost slapping, and his thumb found your clit between your bodies. He was rubbing with precision, encouraging you in soft tones.

“C’mon, baby.”

He had you tumbling and him still fully seated inside, the two of you shared in a moan as you clenched.

You grinded your hips once more, enjoying the feeling of him inside. The intimacy was what had been missing, the two of you holding out on the other, too preoccupied with being shielded. This felt good and you hoped it was not a fluke.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

Fic tags: @patheticallysentimental

#tony stark x reader #mafia tony stark #mob tony stark #mob!tony stark #mafia!tony stark #my shit

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cinnamonest · 3 years

Text

Yandere Profile -- Eijiro Kirishima

Ahhh I finally finished this one! I love my loud red boy bless him

For @shorkbrian !!

Tws: Fem reader, yandere, delusional mindsets, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking, mentions of death, normal yandere content, mentions of a high school setting

Tws (below cut): Noncon, throatfucking, pain content

This is also the first time I'm including my new severity scale (which I just made a post about before this one) in a profile!

================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 6 Brutality: 5 Physical capability: 9 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 5 Sexual sadism: 6 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's actually not one of the yanderes that stalks from a distance - he's not so nervous that he can't approach you, no, he's comfortable enough to talk to you in person. Being away from you physically is almost painful, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He's also one you might catch onto a little bit, because he's just on the border of being a little lacking in self awareness to the point that he doesn't always realize when he's smothering you. Of course, it aligns well enough with his general personality that you won't think too much of it, just that he can be a little overbearing or clingy.

That being said, he does do his fair share of information collecting when you're not together. Boy is a master at data collection - he'll find socials you forgot you had, posts you made years ago, every major information collection site there is, he'll use to find everything he can about you. Your socials, your friends' socials, your relatives' socials. Even if you have one of those apps that lets you see who's stalking you on your social media, he's already planned ahead for that, and uses a variety of burner accounts so you never notice a thing.

Especially in later stages, as his mental stability is slowly worn down, he's prone to the classic yandere persona flip. Can go from his usual very energetic, spirited, happy go lucky sort of demeanor and, in very shocking and unexpected moments, become highly aggressive towards others, or even snap at you with an uncharacteristic coldness. However, he's aware enough to know he's doing it, and quickly backpedals once he does, apologizing and telling you he's just having a really bad day. Only these "bad days" seem to pile up quite a bit as time goes on.

Similarly, he becomes more delusional with time. At first he might actually be fairly receptive towards your friends, even male ones, and while his behaviors and stalking is present, it's not over-the-top just yet. It will take a few months but gradually he finds himself slipping into an increasing pattern -- just one more hour sitting outside your dorm room, just one more text, one more post of yours from five years ago, just one more of this or that and soon it's completely spiraled out of his control.

He's also aware enough at first to realize you might not be too keen on, you know, essentially imprisonment. If it weren't so fucked up, it would almost be funny to watch him - rehearsing the whole speech he will have to give to darling when she wakes up to himself in the mirror, nervously pacing, not making eye contact the whole time he's explaining himself and later finishing off telling you you're here forever with a "so, uh, yeah," and a nervous little laugh. He's a bit panicked himself but will do his best to calm poor darling down, and, as he tells himself, your initial reaction will be bad, but you'll adjust.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He's surprisingly patient and can bide his time. If you're good, he's one of a few where you may be able to prolong your freedom and evade captivity for a very long time, years even. In order to achieve this, though, you'll have to never question his very much questionable behaviors, listen to him when he says not to talk to anyone else, spending every waking moment with him, that sorta thing. So really, it only works for a very naive darling who is already paranoid of others. For most people, who will, you know, call him out on his bullshit, he'll change his mind about letting you be free pretty quickly.

This is especially true if he feels like he's losing you -- if you just get upset that's one thing, but if he senses you're starting to become wary of him or even avoid him, he'll be pushed to the edge very quickly. He's not the brightest when it comes to his methods, most likely opting for a very simple break-in during your sleep or kidnapping you on the way home sort of deal.

He was something of this "waiting period," a time some types of yanderes have where they try to be normal. These types of yanderes are most likely to start of their relationships as normal and organic and only gradually devolve, or snap, into a higher state of delusion and unhealthy behavior. He's no exception to this, and you may get a few months of a very normal relationship with only small red flags that seem to be gradually increasing.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

To escape, only moderate difficulty, actually. To stay escaped? That's a different story.

You see, he's got a slight predator-prey thing going on and will most likely give you a window of opportunity here or there (not a lot, only when he's carefully arranged it out). Early on he has a tracking device implanted in you while you're knocked out, but never tells you about it. He'll let you get a little ways, never so far that there's any risk, and always stays within very close proximity. Watching your worried eyes as you can't shake the feeling of something watching you, knowing you're questioning your own sanity in your state of paranoia. It's really cute, watching you dart your head back and forth into the shadows, every which way except for the actual place he's standing. Will wait until you inevitably run into seclusion, when you take that turn onto a corner with no eyewitnesses, when you duck into a business closed for the night for cover, and he'll have a hand around your mouth before you can even make a noise.

He knows he should be mad, but he gets off to it so much it's hard to be genuinely angry rather than just... Roughly exerting the pent up energy into you. Which in and of itself is something of a punishment.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

It's a mix of "more intelligent than he lets on," and "still kinda on the dull side." In particular, he's not very good at telling when someone is lying. It's honestly a coin toss every time you try, which actually makes it more difficult, really. You'll be just hopeful enough that maybe you can deceive him on this one thing, but there's a 50-50 chance it won't work. Unlike a super intelligent yandere who you automatically know better than to try, you'll keep getting your hopes up and trying with him, which ultimately results in more punishments when it fails.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's moderate on allowances, but still restrictive on contact. As in, he'll get you the things you want, especially once he's making tons of money as a pro. Lets you have a highly controlled phone, complete with internet, but given a lock to prevent commenting or sending or uploading of any kind (aside from messages to him, of course). He doesn't really care too much about the media you consume or whatnot, but if he decides he doesn't like something specifically -- say, youtube videos on lockpicking -- then he'll probably take it away for a time until he can figure out how to better control it.

He's one to let you roam his place to an extent, once again it's a case-by-case basis of "you have this privilege until you do something to lose it." You can cook and access the kitchen until an incident of you hurting yourself or attacking him. You can watch tv and roam around until you break something intentionally out of spite. That sort of thing -- he deals with the problems when they arise, but is generally fairly lenient on your allowances, so really it's very unwise to take that privilege for granted, since it's a lot more than what a lot of yans would allow.

When you're really really good, he'll definitely let you go out with him. As we'll discuss, he likes to emulate normalcy, and really likes the fun kind of dates - theme parks and movies and the like. It'll be quite a while before you get to this stage though, as he has to feel 100% confident you won't try anything at all. Of course, if you do try anything, the privilege will be lost until you earn it back. However, this will also be entirely undercover on his end, probably wearing masks and sunglasses or the like. He doesn't want people to see you with him and recognize him, like a lot of the mha yans, he fears the potential of someone using you against him.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Once again a "make them up as you go" guy. Listen, he didn't plan much beyond the initial kidnapping you and security, so there's a lot he hasn't thought about. From day one, what's made clear is you're not to leave and that you need to accept the way things are as soon as possible, and you know, be a doll and be sweet for him. As time goes on things get added -- don't look up this or that, don't attack or resist, don't backtalk him, don't give him the cold shoulder, etc etc. Over time it will amount to a lot, actually, you see, he's got a very specific image of how you should behave in his mind. Anything that deviates from that will quickly become a rule. So it's kind of like a puzzle for poor darling, you're not given an exact image of what you're supposed to act like or what you're not allowed to do, you just gradually find out with trial and error and an ever-growing behavioral rule list what is and isn't acceptable

.He can't stand isolation punishments, can't take being away from you for that long. He might try at first, but, almost comically, he cracks very early and brings you back out (just went you thought you were gonna get a break from him). It's primarily, (in our sfw section) a matter of losing privileges. To him, he knows that one of the worst punishments is boredom, so he'll take away your things that occupy you and leave you with nothing, potentially restraining you to a single room, so that you eventually cave and apologize.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He uses social methods or underhanded, subtle tricks to eliminate people rather than killing them. Frames them for stealing, or some other misdeed to get them expelled, ruins their social reputation, fakes messages to make you hate them, maybe even to make them hate you. that's during the school-age stages of things. Now, an older hero Kirishima, definitely uses his status to get things done the way he wants. Come on, who in their right mind would try to take the girl of a pro hero to begin with? They were asking for it. He has a few similar methods -- ruins their public image, frames them for a crime, or, if they're persistent enough, may very well just use a couple connections to make sure they disappear -- potentially disappear entirely, or perhaps get permanently hospitalized from a bad accident, become the random victim of some villains, etc.

That being said, during the pre-kidnapping stages, he's definitely gonna start fights with other dudes for looking at you the wrong way. Even if it's horrifically embarrassing, he thinks of it as a show of manliness. You'll eventually have to pull him off and calm him down before he pummels the poor victim of choice completely. Over time, this earns him a reputation for being insanely protective, and it makes people start to avoid both him and you, which is all the better in his mind.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

With most things, he's pretty slow to anger, tries to be very patient and understanding. You have to wittle down that patience with repeated and deliberate disobedience to get a snap out of him - which is highly possible, considering poor darling initially is given no bad reaction. You'll think he's a pushover since he doesn't get super mad the first time, or the second or third, so when he finally does snap it's pretty frightening - it's all the irritation bottled up and released at once.

He tries hard to project the image of who he's known to be - a chill, good natured, optimistic guy, which is why he manages to be so patient. He doesn't want that image ruined for you, and he's very very particular about, and worries about, the image of him in your mind. He has a deep need for you to see him as a heroic figure, to look up to him, and to see him as above you, so he doesn't want to ruin that with violence and anger.

It's usually a literal snap of some sort - whatever he's holding gets slammed down on the table, or crushed or snapped in half (say, a glass or pen). His voice gets low, and builds up into a snarl. Definitely one to grab you by the hair. Drags you to wherever he deems a suitable place to take care of your issues.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He doesn't think about these things too much, and really, he's somewhat in the middle or can even fluctuate. A lot of it depends on you. If you're good and obedient, he treats you like you're an angel, says he doesn't deserve you. Now, if you're not being so good, he might sometimes let the frustrations slip out into some bitterness, likewise muttering that you should be a bit more grateful that someone like him loves you so much.

That being said, he does want you to see him as above you, wants you to look up to him and, simply, he wants you to think he's amazing and heroic! He goes out of his way to repeatedly impress you with displays of strength and the like, and, like a lot of the hero yanderes, will frequently subject you to watching the news of him saving people. He exaggerates his heroics significantly and makes sure you know just how many people he saved, and of course, he makes sure to show you every girl that blows up his phone after finding his number somehow, all the adoring females fans, and so on, in a very blatant attempt to make you jealous -- having all those fans does get his ego going a bit.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Definitely strongly determined. He wants not only your acceptance, but also to somewhat normalize the relationship. He emulates a lot of normal behaviors like aforementioned dates, but also things like "date night" at home (cuddles on the couch and watching TV, playing games, takeout etc), little good morning texts for you to wake up to when he has to leave early, making food together. It's so tender and sweet that sometimes you could almost forget that you're being trapped against your will. It also, of course, is very beneficial for his imperatives, considering that that sweetness will only help you adjust more quickly.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Probably the previously noted extent to which he strives towards a very butchered resemblance of normalcy. It's like he wants to just be a normal couple... but he doesn't, he can't. I'd say that even he himself kind of struggles with it a bit -- psychologically, he's one of the yanderes that deludes himself because he has to. It doesn't come super naturally, it's that, being forced to recognize how unhealthy and harmful his extreme controlling and possessiveness is, to come to terms with the fact that those urges aren't normal... the guilt would eat him alive if he actually stopped to think about that, if he actually allowed himself to admit that reality to himself. So, he doesn't. He will push that thought away, even though it does exist somewhere deep down, until the day he dies. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't delude himself into believing it's all necessary, and that he's good to you. A lot of his more lenient tendencies stem from this.

It's a conflict between parts of his brain -- a duality of sorts. One part says he wants the normalcy -- he wants dates and love and sex and fun and he wants it all organically, he doesn't want to be a kidnapper, doesn't want to have to do these things. But as much as he wishes he didn't have to, the other part of him does, in fact, say that he has to do these things. Yanderes that have these sorts of internal conflicts due to a strong sense of morality (which he DOES have, really) tend to have a "waiting period," as he does, which I mentioned above -- a time where they try to go about things normally but find themselves unable to.

As a result, I'd say he's one of the yanderes that's actually very likely to start off as an actual boyfriend, rather than a stranger or a friend. He's confident enough to ask you out and charming enough to get a yes, but he just can't control himself over time.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Like some of my other yans I've discussed, he has what you call reactive sexuality. On his own, he's average for a young man, but once he has someone he really has a lot of affection for, that drive goes up significantly in their presence. There's a lot more stimulation, after all, it gets those hormones raging and the urge to fuck goes way up pretty quickly now that there's an availability.

He's moderate-to-heavy on the perversion for what you'd expect from a guy like himself. He's far from pure but he knows exactly how to teeter the line of being just gross enough to make you squirm and blush without being such a horndog that he actually offends you or drives you away. Not that he won't push that line as far as he can, constantly testing your boundaries.

As for touchiness, oof he's VERY touchy. Poor darling. It, like many things, increases with time in the pre-kidnapping stage -- even from the get go he's prone to slinging an arm over your shoulder or leaning on you, but that progresses into gradual soft gropes that you almost feel like you imagined, and extended touches, hands gripping your shoulders, etc. Post-kidnapping, very touchy all the time. Very much a cuddler and likes to grab at everything he can when he does so.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

It's eh, moderate, but ultimately, as in yandere nature, force will be used if necessary. He's so sweet about it at first that it almost doesn't even feel like it. He tells himself you're afraid, and any lashing out is just because of that. Even if you say he's the problem, he thinks that's just because you're embarrassed to admit you're scared. Everything you can come up with, he'll loop back to that rationalization. It helps him get over any potential guilt he'd otherwise have, which he certainly would if he didn't lie to himself.

He's so sweet about the whole thing its nauseating for poor darling. Wiping away any tears on your face, taking a long long time to prepare you up with fingers and touches and words, and telling you it'll be ok, that it only hurts for a second, that he'll make you feel so good, that you'll be happy this happened just as much as he is.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

This boy just... saying he wants you to blow him is understating it. He wants to throatfuck you -- grab you by the hair and use your face like a toy. In the beginning he'll be gentler, but he fantasizes about reaching a point at which he can really just go at it, train your gag reflex to be virtually non-existent. He likes to cum down your throat, but even more he loves pulling out at the last moment and telling you to hold your mouth open and tongue out, jerking off onto your tongue, getting some on your face, and telling you to swallow.

Roleplay/Lingerie

Specifically, he'll get into anything service related. Maid outfits galore. He loves treating you like a doll, really, dressing you up in whatever newest lewdest thing he can find. Definitely keeps up with the newest outfit trends of the egirl type of sphere -- loves the things like thigh highs, virgin killer sweaters, garters, anything of the sort. Very much into the "cutesy" type of stuff on you, expect lots of pastel colors and soft fluffy things. Also 100% will get a tail plug and animal ears of some kind. And it's not just for looks, he likes you to act out the role, too. He's actually super-blushy about the whole idea at first, but he does like the idea of being called "Master," especially when it's all soft and embarrassed coming out of your own mouth.

Size difference/strength difference

It ties back into the thing of wanting you to look up to him. He loves loves loves seeing the faces and the little squeals you make for him when he gives you displays of raw strength - and he'll be sure to frequently remind you of exactly how strong he is. Standing-fucking, slinging you over his shoulder when he's dragging you back home, picking you up and throwing you on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and lifting your entire body up and down when you're on top of him and using you as effortlessly as if you were a near-weightless fleshlight.

No matter which size you may be, he loves it whichever way. If you're tiny and short it gives him an automatic power rush, but if you're larger and taller he loves that too - it gives him a massive ego boost that he can pin you down and control your body with such ease, bonus points if you thought he couldn't since you're bigger than he is.

Size kink pt 2

Also a size related thing, but specifically dick. Listen I refuse to believe this man doesn't have a girthy, thick dick. And he loves the things it can do to you -- the way you gasp and shudder, even little whimpers of pain. He feels bad if there's any pain, but he can't help but get off to the squeals just a little bit, the tears in your eyes are just so cute. Definitely loves making a visible bulge on your stomach, and will make sure you see it too, holding your head in place to force you to watch your stomach bulge every time he thrusts in. Bulging your throat is equally hot, as mentioned above. And he loves the way that there's just that slightly visible gape for a few minutes after he pulls out as your body adjusts.

Threeways

Perhaps very rare for a yandere, he's one of a few that isn't 100% opposed to sharing, provided it's with special individuals, namely a certain blonde friend. Not so much in the relationship aspect, but a sexual one, and it's very well-controlled on his end, with him having the ultimate power over the whole situation. There will always be things that only HE can do to you that no one else can, of course, and it's all only with those he trusts to never spill about your existence. Still, he just really really likes seeing you get spitroasted, really. Can you blame him?

And of course, he'll make sure to get reassurance from you that you only love him and don't care about Katsuki at all, and if he ever gets even the slightest feeling that that might not be the case, it's a kink he'll give up easily if it means soothing the potential raging jealousy.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He actually really, really likes the thought of being a dad. It's sort of a pride thing, having a family he can love and support (it's not like you're gonna be allowed to work), showing you off to everyone. And of course, the emotional attachment you'll undoubtedly form, the dependency you'll have on him.

Getting to watch cum drip out of you and never having to pull out is a nice bonus, too.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Big into overstim. It's perfect because it's a punishment that is both effective, doesn't technically hurt you, and releases all those good chemicals all at the same time. He doesn't initially want to hurt you too bad, but, if you're really bad -- either in terms of the severity of the offense or the number of times you continue to do it -- he can reach a point of anger at which he'll resort to impact-pain-based punishments, too. Ever the sweet one, he actually does research first to make sure he won't go too far and seriously injure you, but once's he's made all the right purchases, I could see him settling on riding crops, he will make you hurt.

And, really, because it all gets him off at the same time -- the strangled little cries and mewls and whimpers are so much hotter than they should be. He likely blindfolds you the whole time, partially to increase your fear and anticipation, but also so that you don't know he's jerking off to the whole thing.

The aforementioned throatfucking is also an effective and very quick, straight-to-the-point punishment when need be. If he's super mad and doesn't have the self control to take you elsewhere he may very well just dump you on your knees and demand you open your mouth or else you'll be in for a lot more pain. If he's in that kind of borderline-sadist mood he can get cruel with it too -- cumming in your mouth but not letting you swallow, making you hold the gross taste against your tongue for several minutes, or, his favorite guilty pleasure he feels too bad making you do most of the time, slamming your face all the way down and holding his cock all the way down your throat, perfectly still. No matter how hard you try to pull back or beat on his thighs, he has an iron grip and will hold you there until you nearly pass out.

Also, hell, just fucking him can be a punishment if he wants it to be. He can manhandle you with such a brutality and strength that it's genuinely painful. You want to know what it feels like to have a, literally, rock-hard dick ramming into your cervix?

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Very much a thigh boy. Not only are they soft and pillowy, but he loves to bite and suck at the insides of your thighs and leave lots and lots of marks. They're just as much for you as they are for him. He makes sure you always wear shorts or short skirts (or nothing is fine too) to make sure said marks are always within your vision.

#yandere bnha #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere mha #yandere my hero academia #yandere kirishima #tw: non/con #tw: yandere

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fermented-writers-block · 3 years

Text

Lus and the Human Portal Clone Theory

Even before Keeping Up A-fear-ances aired, I have been working for almost a year now on running through all the possible various suspects with wonderful folks like @sepublic , @anistarrose , and @elementalist-kdj . Like the post title indicates, from sheer process of elimination, the only conclusion that made sense to me was a clone made of Luz by the portal door, and I’ve been working on refining and reworking said conclusion up to the version I will lay out here.

Now, as @safetayy , @theowlhouseheadcanons , and @50shades-of-blue have heard from me before, the portal I've long suspected was not made to go from the Demon Realm to the Human Realm, but rather to go from the Human Realm to the Demon Realm by humans, for humans. This is because it then could tie into the hypothetical existence of a Luz clone without having the issue of asking where Eda, Lilith, and King's clones are, as the clone in this case is the result of a function of the door to create a basic level duplicate of any human that passes through it rather than it happening for just anyone that passes through.

With this, it's because the suitcase form of the portal looks as thought it indicates it was used for temporary trips to the Demon Realm, much like how suitcases were used when railways and international boats made travel more accessible for the middle and lower classes. For example:

Going by the way the door “faces” and the way it swings open, the ergonomics of the portal makes it look an awful lot like a right handed out swing door, with the Human Realm on the “inside” and the Demon Realm on the “outside.” And the arrow in the diagram depicts the general direction of traffic that such right handed, out swing doors are typically design with in mind - ergo, showing what way the portal appears to facilitate travel in.

Now, before you ask, the reason why I think the portal could have been created in the human realm in the first place is that it might require an extra component/bit of help or two from the Owl Deity which I’ve discussed before in the past as hinted by these connected designs:

I’ll explore how I feel the revelation that such a twist about the portal’s origins could play into the themes and narrative of the show under the cut, but overall, I feel these are potential significant details to keep in mind for the rest of this arc of building a new door and handling the idea of Lus having initially been made as a temporary-duration clone, hence how "Luz" comes off so uncannily in the letters as she wasn't meant for long term impersonations.

That, and why I named this the Human Portal Clone theory, for those wondering about the name.

Alongside this, my thought has been that walking back through the portal to the Human Realm basically makes the portal send a recall signal to tell the clone to return to it, where the clone would be reabsorbed into the portal and its memories are given to the original. However, with Luz going back into the Demon Realm for a brief time in YBOS, I am of the mind that it doesn’t just make another clone, but rather that doing so merely made the door turn off the recall signal and allowed "Lus" to resume the impersonation.

And as for the clone itself and why they’re writing letters to Camila, well, imagine it from Lus' perspective. To her at the time of creation, the last thing she probably knew was that she had been chasing the cute little owl that took her Azura book into the woods, and right when the bus to Reality Check Camp was about to arrive.

Also, if you think about it, Lus being the work of someone we/don’t know yet raises way more plot threads/questions than answers compared to being the work of the portal, as outlined below:

TLDR at end of post for those wondering

Belos? How and why before YBOS where he actually started paying attention to Luz for the first time and actually got his hands on a portal?

Eda? Why would she do all this and not tell Luz she can goof around without needing to worry about her mom or the camp/in time to fool the camp, especially when it took a good amount of time for Eda to even start feeling that close to Luz?

Hooty got ruled out from the getgo since he can’t hold pencils, King just isn’t that subtle, and everyone else that Luz knows has the major issues of just straight up not knowing about the camp in the first place. Well, that and a lack of another known method of getting to the Human Realm in the first place.

The camp? Why would they worry about a missing camper whose disappearance is all HER fault and thus would more logically result in a call to her parent than some convoluted clone conspiracy?

And finally, some currently completely unknown third party?

If we’re talking a Changeling, A) it’d be easy for Luz to dismiss them and B) that just makes all the ominous portrayal of Lus super straightforward instead of a subversion like is the show’s shtick.

If we’re talking dimensional counterparts, A) they have to REALLY have led a very similar life to Luz’s in order for there to be enough common ground for Luz to listen, and B) dimensional counterparts aren’t even a confirmed or likely thing that people cooked up from Episode 1 side characters influenced by Amity’s concept art.

And if we’re talking some complete surprise third party group or another, it doesn’t make sense to introduce a third party and their motives and plans to the show this late in when Belos is already taking up the bulk of it all.

Hell, if anything, the continued existence of the duplicate in of itself would indicate that the target of the conspiracy is none other than Camila Noceda than anything to do with Luz or Eda, especially with the complete lack of anyone taking advantage of Luz and or Eda.

From the getgo, Witches Before Wizards already hard-baked into the show the idea that Luz is NOT inherently special or anything into the foundations of the show from the getgo - ergo, Camila likely just is an absolutely regular human being, someone who has no justification for such a convoluted conspiracy to surround them.

That said, I believe that the idea of the portal having originated from the Human Realm could potentially play into some interesting stories to be had with Camila and Lus here, especially as the conspiracy board shot from the promo was confirmed by Dana to apparently be from S2A, not from the episodes past Yesterday’s Lie:

After all, with Luz searching the library for a way home this coming episodes, perhaps she might figure out something the next couple of episodes that allows her texts to send through, which would logically lead to the above picture. That, and Camila and Lus being confused by and trying to figure out what’s going on there.

I mean, the cabin in the woods likely has a very close connection to the portal and it’s origins given how closely tied the two structures seem to be, and as far as we can tell, Luz never mentioned the cabin in her videos to Camila, but if Lus tries to retrace her steps, that would be a natural vector to lead Camila to the cabin and thus allow us a chance to actually investigate it.

That said, all following the trail would do is lead her and Lus to a dead end at the abandoned cabin, where they would have nothing else to do except discuss their complicated relationship concerning Luz and twiddle their thumbs while waiting for Luz to finish things on her end - which while something I think would be interesting to see, I just don’t see how much of a way to keep them in the greater picture of the show without some kind of project or activity that the two of them could work together on on screen.

And that’s what leads me to a particular train of thought here, starting with the question of what if Luz FAILS to make a working portal over the course of S2A and such?

With the possible in-universe mystery over what the heck is going on with Lus, perhaps the cabin might hold some notes from the original last human owner - if not potentially the creator - of Eda’s portal as well as potentially some of the same materials and such from previous trips.

Cue CAMILA building a working portal, following in the footsteps of the original creator and such and thus finding a reason to stay on screen, all the while potentially demonstrating both why Belos wanted the portal instead of making his own, as well as diving into the Owl Deity’s connection with the original portal. Heck, maybe the Owl Deity is only accessible in the Human Realm and that plays a part in Belos wanting to get to the Human Realm, which would bring Camila directly into contact with the magic her daughter has been interacting with.

Also, just imagine the internal conflict going on here with Lus. After all, helping Camila build a portal to get the original Luz -and hoo boy would that be a tough thing to grapple with- would most definitely do that and make both Lus AND Camila question how much the latter likes Lus vs Luz.

Like, just imagine it. There would be major chances for Lus and Camila to discuss what would happen if and when they’re finished with the portal, and what will happen to Lus’ relationship with Camila if and when Luz gets back.

Does Camila really prefer her daughter to be all more “normal” like Lus, or does she prefer the old, “weird” daughter from before the summer with Luz?

Perhaps she might be able to figure out how to strike a nuanced balance between the two, and all on a metaphorical journey to truly build a better connection between her and her daughter(s?).

TLDR: Or in short, I can’t help but feel it would be fitting to see Camila building a bridge WITH Lus TO Luz.

Particularly, by being the one to craft an actual working portal in the Human Realm instead of Luz in the Demon Realm, showing a parent putting in an active effort to get down to their child’s level rather than waiting for said child to try to get up to their parent’s level even if they can’t or find it incredibly hard to do so.

#the owl house #the owl house theory #owl house theory #toh theory #toh #owl deity hooty theory #camila noceda #lus #lus noceda #luz noceda #toh speculation #the owl house speculation

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