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shdysders · 2 months

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insecurities

pairing: vada cavell & female reader

summary: in which vada makes an offensive comment about your appearance, knowing you already hated it.

word count: 2.7k

warnings: serious topics, body image, body shaming comment, alcohol poisoning.

author’s note: remember that words don’t define you, you’re beautiful just the way you are and do not need to change yourself.

the ending on this one is rushed, i’m sorry about that. also sorry if you guys don’t like this idea, it was just smth that popped into my mind.

Shopping with Vada was absolutely pointless.

She would complain about everything and nothing. About her feet hurting, about how she didn't have enough money for new things, or how she found it completely unnecessary to buy clothes when she already had enough.

You had spent multiple times with Vada in countless malls, walking through different stores, listening to her complaining all the time, whining like a child and nag about it being boring.

This time you had suggested for Vada to bring Mia along, for company while you tried things on. You thought it would make things easier for you; not having to deal with your child like girlfriend.

However you were wrong.

You were at the local mall alongside Mia and Vada, shopping for dresses who would be appropriate for your birthday party. You were really excited; two people were there to help you pick.

Although they didn't help. They were too busy talking and gossiping about losers at school to even notice the dresses you were showing.

You could understand that this probably wasn't the most exciting thing to do, but you thought they would at least pay attention, considering Vada was your girlfriend, and Mia was one of your closest friends.

You had been gushing about this party for months, so you didn't understand why they were suddenly so uninterested.

"What about this one?" You spoke, trying to drown out their loud conversation with your own voice.

Vada didn't listen for one bit. She only turned her head when Mia did so, only because it ended their dialogue.

"That one's pretty." Mia said, adoring gaze scanning the dress.

The dress was black with floral design that covered the whole fabric. The fabric was lightweight and flowy. You felt pretty, it suited you very well.

"It's alright." Vada said not long after, her lips formed in a thin line, there was frustration in her voice, like she was mad at you for interrupting their talk.

This was the second dress you tried on and Vada was already bored and frustrated, you could tell. She wasn't exactly hiding it.

You decided it'd be for the better to just hurry up, even though that wasn't what you had planned. You didn't want to waste their time.

Nodding your head, taking their answers into consideration, before turning around to get into the next dress.

This one was your favorite.

Navy blue with an open back, glitter decorating the whole dress. It was tight, rather short as well, but you felt sophisticated in it. Pretty. Gorgeous in fact. Which was rare for you.

You smiled to yourself in the mirror, prepared for Vada and Mia to liking just as much as you.

However, when you pull the dressing room curtain to the side, they didn’t even bother to turn their heads to look at you. They were way too busy talking yet again.

They were laughing about something. And a strange feeling in you were saying that it was either about you or the dresses you were showing.

You stood there dumbfounded for a minute, waiting for them to turn their attention to the clothing piece. But they didn't.

"Vada?" You called out, since her opinion was the one that really mattered.

She still didn't turn her head, although you knew she heard you. You could tell by the way her head slightly turned, her eyes not leaving Mia as she talked. You couldn't even bother to listen to what they were saying.

Seconds later she put her hand up, signaling for you to wait for her to finish listening, and for Mia to stop talking. Which at this point, could take ages.

You were starting to grow tired of her ignorance. She always did this whenever Mia was around. Sometimes she would find subjects to talk about that you couldn't be included in on purpose, either that or you just couldn't relate.

Her name fell from your lips again, and this time her head snapped in your direction, nothing but exasperation painting her face. "What?"

The previous smile on your face fell once you heard the harsh tone in her voice. "Could you at least look at it?"

Vada's gaze was burning onto your skin, she was looking at you as if you just told her that she had to be quiet for the rest of the year.

You couldn't put a finger on the reason for why she had gotten this angry, she used to get like this, but when she did there would at least be some kind of motive for it. Now there wasn't.

It was like steam was coming out of her ears. All you did was ask her to look at the dress for like what? One second? And she looked furious.

Vada didn't know what had gotten into her either. She didn't like being interrupted, but when it was you, she didn't care. Now she did.

She cast a discerning gaze over the dress, her eyes revealing a clear hint of annoyance. "It makes you look big. I don't like it." She spat out before she could process her words.

The confidence in the dress was quickly drained away by Vada's comment. It was like a punch to the gut, a lump beginning to form in your throat.

You suddenly felt embarrassed, for even thinking she would like the dress in the first place. Of course she didn't like it. What did you except?

"Oh." You bit your lip, trying to the prevent the layer of tears from falling, which you felt was beginning to coat your irises. "Okay"

You didn't think twice before hurrying back to the dressing room, being quick to pull the curtain back so it covered you. Mumbles from Vada and Mia could be heard, but they were shut out as the ringing in your ears took over, quiet sobs falling from your mouth.

Checking the dress in the mirror one last time, you saw what Vada might've seen. Now all you could see was the body that you used to see back in sophomore year, back to when you used to stand in front of the mirror in tears and panic every day.

There was a few more dresses you had yet to try on, however, you had lost interest in pursuing that particular topic. All because of what Vada said.

You rushed yourself out of the dress, not standing the sight of it in the mirror.

And while you were about to get into your regular clothes, you heard Vada's voice right outside the changing room.

"Y/n, I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it." She sounded regretful. "You looked beautiful in it.. I don't know why I said that."

It was true. Vada had no clue why she said what she said and did what she did. She felt like she had absolute no control over what her mouth was doing. Like always. She always ended up saying something she didn't mean or stuff that was completely inappropriate.

She knew you'd had problems with confidence and self esteem before, which only made the guilt in her chest grow stronger and bigger.

You didn't care for Vada's attempt at solving the problem she caused. Instead you rapidly grabbed all of the dresses on their hangers and rushed out, not bothering to look at Vada's sad expression, filled with remorse and guilt.

You rushed past her, not even glancing at Mia who was standing further away, looking at you in the same way.

"Aren't going to try the rest?" Vada rushed behind you, almost stepping on your heels for walking so closely behind.

"No." You answered harshly before the full question had time to exit her mouth.

She didn't ask why; because she knew the reason. The reason was her. And her too big of a mouth.

All of the dresses you were carrying were put onto the return racks before you walked out of the store.

You could feel Vada hot on your trails, Mia walking further away, surely not wanting to get into the middle of the situation.

"You should, they would all look pretty." She tried. But it was unclear if you heard her.

Vada's short legs couldn't keep up with your rapid speed, making her groan in frustration. You pushed through people, your only goal being to get out of the mall.

All you wanted to do was crawl into your bed and melt away.

Which was what you did.

***

The party was set two days later. Which felt sooner than expected.

You didn't want to have the party anymore.

That's why you had half a mind to just drink all of the punch and alcohol you had bought for the guests, and tell everyone the party was cancelled. Although it was too late for that.

You weren't sure if Vada was still coming, you hadn't contacted her ever since you left her a good night text the day of the mall 'accident'. She probably was coming though, she probably thought nothing of it.

However, it was everything Vada could think about. Her mind had been clouded by the look on your face when she told you that you looked big in that dress. Her words were echoing in her head.

She hadn't reached out to you because she thought it was for the best to give you space. Also because she didn't know what she would say. Of course she would pour out apologies and excuses, but she knew that wouldn't mean anything. But it hurt her to pieces knowing she had done something so incredibly wrong, to you of all people.

Which is why Vada was now placed on your living room couch, watching dozens of people dancing with drinks in their hands, scanning the people in case her eyes would get in contact with your figure.

She hadn't seen you all night, and it was starting to worry her. You used to run towards Vada the second you knew she arrived, now you hadn't.

The music was so loud the whole house was basically shaking of the vibrations from the speakers.

Vada was about to give up looking for you, when all of a sudden, she saw the top of your head not too far away from the dance floor.

She immediately forced herself up from her position on the couch, leaving her red solo cup in the living room table to approach you. Pushing through all the sweaty bodies on the dance floor to get to you.

You stood at the kitchen island with a beer in your hand, a big smile on your face as you spoke to one of your friends.

You hated beer. Vada knew that.

"Y/n?" Vada called out, almost screaming to be heard over the loud music and chattering.

Your head slowly turned to her, and just by looking at you for two seconds, she could tell you were drunk out of your mind.

Your eyes were almost bloodshot and glassy, your movements were unsteady and your face was flushed. "Hi Vada." And your breath reeked alcohol.

"Didn't think you were coming." You slurred, bringing the drink up to your mouth.

The girl who stood in front of you quickly slipped away from the two of you, joining the others on the dance floor.

As Vada's eyes scanned your figure, she could see you weren't wearing any of the dresses you tried on, the dress you were wearing was one of your old ones, it was loosely fitting so she couldn't see your figure that she admired. But it was her fault, she reminded herself.

"Don't you think you've had enough of those?" Vada asked, about to take the beer bottle out of your hand, but you moved it away so she was unable to.

"Probably" You laughed, putting your free hand on the table behind for support and prevent yourself from falling backwards. Taking another sip of the drink, your face scrunching up in disgust from the bitter taste.

This had been your plan for the whole night. Drinking more than you could handle, so you wouldn't feel like yourself.

You had spent the whole afternoon standing in front of the mirror, understanding what Vada had meant by the comment, understand that she was right. That's what you told yourself.

Vada hated seeing you like this. She was used to having to take care of you when you went to parties together, however she had never seen you this affected.

Hence to why she thought it was a good idea to bring you somewhere where you could be alone.

"Should we go outside?" Vada asked close to your ear, so she knew for certain that you heard.

You let out a scoff, "Why? So you could push me into the pool and tell me how big the big splash was?"

Vada flinched at your remark, and even though she knew the comeback was something you'd make without alcohol in your blood, she tried to tell herself it was just your fogged mind speaking.

She knew you wouldn't come with her just because she asked, you never did when drunk. Hence to why she grabbed your forearm with a firm grip, but not too hard for it to hurt you.

She pulled you through the dance floor, ignoring people cursing at her for pushing through them with her body. She walked you outside to the backyard, and luckily enough, nobody was there.

You didn't protest when she sat you down onto one of the pool chairs, mostly because you couldn't think straight and didn't know what was going on. Your head was spinning from all the punch and alcohol.

Vada sat down on the chair next to you, inspecting your features and how your lips were shaped like a frown.

She was completely aware that you probably wouldn't remember this tomorrow, but she felt like she had to apologize to you at that moment, even though she likely had to do it again when you were clear-headed.

"Y/n." Vada started, not knowing how to continue when your eyes met hers.

"Yes?" You replied quick, voice sounding even more slurry than before.

She let out a sigh, thinking how to form her apology without it sounding forced or sarcastic. "I-I'm so sorry for saying you looked big." She began, her voice feeling shaky; filled with regret from what she'd done.

You looked up at her, eyes sad and hollow with tears starting to form.

"I don't know why I said tha- I was so passionate about talking. I didn't even pay attention to you- You're the prettiest girl I know and I just-...I don't know why I said that." Vada rambled, her hands flying all over the place.

Normally you would smile at Vada's rambling, but now you didn't. And she noticed that.

She exhaled deeply before continuing, trying to think her words through even harder this time, since it clearly didn't work the first.

"I didn't mean what I said. And I'm sorry." Vada spoke up again, trying to sound calmer than she actually was.

You didn't answer, just staring back at her with your beautiful eyes. It was making Vada nervous, her hands starting to sweat. Were you about to break up with her? Oh god, if you did she would never forgive herself.

You licked your lips, looking like you were about to say something, and you did. "Why did you say it then?"

The question made Vada furrow her brows, didn't you listen to her rambling? Were you too drunk to even notice she had been talking this whole time?

"I don't know." Vada sighed, getting frustrated with herself for being such a blabbermouth.

She scooted herself to the edge of the beach bed, taking your hands in hers. Vada had never been great with the physical touch thing, she loved when you would take her hands or touch her face, but she felt like she did it awkward. She thought she made everything awkward.

"You looked great in that dress.. all of the other ones too.. I'll buy them all for you if you ever forgive me." Vada spoke softly, gently rubbing her thumb over your hand.

"Serious?" You grinned.

Vada nodded. "Promise." Putting up her pinky for you to link with.

"You're forgiven then." Your finger joined hers, solidifying the promise.

You knew you weren't sober or in the right mindset, but you did know that you did want those dresses.

Drunk or not.

#jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #vada cavell x reader #wednesday addams x reader #mabel x reader #please don’t flop

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earthtooz · 1 year

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BABE I HAD AN IDEA- Reo Mikage ANGST where he calls reader a gold digging whore in the middle of an argument, ultimately affirming all of her insecurities so he has to figure out a way to show that he didn't mean it and that he's sorry without using his disgustingly abundant wealth 💔 anyways ilysm hope you take care of yourself

NO YOU ARE LITERALLY DISGUSTING FOR THIS (affectionate) YOUR MIND >>> YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT. SHUT UP THIS WILL LITERALLY BE THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS FIC EVER BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY ABOUT TO PUT MY WHOLE EARTHUSSY INTO INCORPORATING THIS IDEA SOMEWHERE !!! BUT FOR NOW, TAKE THIS SNIPPET I WHIPPED UP IN ONE SITTING.

girl feel free to come back into my inbox WHENEVER and giving me your juicy ideas bc holy shit i loved this.

CW: HURT/COMFORT - A LOT OF BOTH, SWEARING, UNEDITED - I WAS GOING THRU IT WHILST WRITING THIS DON'T LOOK AT ME!

IMAGINE THIS: it's been a rough night for both you and reo, he's been through a lot in the past weeks because his dad just had to during the middle of soccer season to lecture reo about how to run a big business. the transition process is beginning to happen since father mikage is about to retire and although your purple-haired boyfriend has been preparing for this his whole life, having gone to business school part-time and graduating with honours, there's still a little part of him that feels weary from all the responsibilities.

all this accumulated stress needs to have an outlet eventually, right? welp, you just happened to be there at the right (wrong) time. you were simply delivering a platter of apples to your boyfriend who had his head in his hands, hunched over an endless pile of paperwork that was beginning to irk him with each passing second. countless images of him shredding up the paper flowed into his mind, a fury that manifested into his reality, except the paper was you D,:

one thing evolved into another, reo's endless stream of venomous words didn't stop flowing out of him as he spat poison after poison, burning you with the intensity of it all.

"you're so overbearing, can't you see that i'm fine? unlike you i can handle myself when things get hard," he spits, eyeing you with fury in his eyes, one that makes you gulp thickly.

"reo-"

-but you wouldn't know the first thing about fighting for what you want right, you fucking gold-digger."

that stops you in your tracks, silences you effortlessly, causing you to let your hands drop limply back to your sides as you stare at your boyfriend blankly. you're sinking into an abyss of hurt and insecurity, it's getting harder to breathe because of the way your chest swells with anger.

reo only continues, not noticing the way you physically and emotionally drop. "even if you don't give me attention for one second of the day, i won't forget you exist, so stop being so clingy and unnecessary! my money isn't going anywhere either, you don't need to occupy majority of my day so leave me alone. go shop online or something."

that was it. was that all reo perceived you to be? a dent in his money, the expenses of his bank account?

"fine. goodbye," you simply mutter before slipping through his office door, out in the hallway.

"don't bother me whilst i'm in here," he says with finality, one last declaration before you shut the door behind you.

the luxurious walls of reo's penthouse look down at you mockingly, the spacious area caging you in, chanting 'gold-digger' over and over again until it's all you hear.

staying here feels wrong.

so, you grab your purse and leave, as quietly as possible. slipping down to the garage where your (second hand) car was parked, you start the engine up and begin reversing out of the parking lot.

you begin to reflect on your relationship with reo. you love him, you really do, you love him because he's reo, the man who was always capable of making you smile, laugh, and make you feel like you were on top of the world. his money and fame was an added bonus that you truly didn't care much about.

but ever since dating him, you've had your own insecurities that have been forced on you by other people. there were crowds calling you a 'gold digger' who was only with reo 'for the money', and although you were sure of yourself and your intentions, your armour breaks down sometimes.

what reo said tonight was the final jab that allowed it to fully disintegrate.

you had a stable job of your own and finances to your own name, money wasn't something you avidly chased, sure having a few zeroes in your bank account was nice but that was all you really needed. as long as you could buy necessities and spoil yourself, it was satisfactory, and you could provide that for yourself!

reo loved to spoil you, showering you in luxurious gifts that you never knew how to accept. it would take a great deal of convincing for you to take what he bought you, and when you promised him to stop buying them for you, he agreed before buying you more material stuff.

as you pull up to the parking lot of the apartment complex that you resided in, you get into the elevator with a heavy heart, pressing the button to your floor with a lot of emotions.

the ride is silent. everything is so silent.

your apartment is even more silent. it's unused, slightly barren. your furniture was still there, except some dust had gathered on the tables and cabinets from how long you've neglected it.

the only reason you were able to keep your apartment was because you had no expenses outflowing since reo took care of almost everything. anything you needed, he bought it, groceries, bills, whatever, were charged on his card. for a period of time, your bank account merely grew and never decreased.

and since you hadn't been here for a while, electricity and water bills never bothered you too much.

you flop onto your made bed with a sigh. it wasn't as soft as reo's but you didn't find it in you to care, you just needed some well-deserved shut eye.

well, 'shut eye' occurred for merely an hour before your phone started vibrating violently.

with a groan, you shove your face back into your pillows before blindly reaching for your phone.

you already knew who it would be without looking at the caller id. of course reo would be looking for you, noting your obvious absence in his penthouse.

"hello?" you mutter.

"y/n? where the hell are you?" comes reo's frantic voice from the other line. he sounds genuinely concerned.

"doesn't matter."

"i'm sorry for everything i said. please, come back."

"reo, i'm tired, i can't do this with you right now."

"i'm sorry, i'm really really sorry."

"i don't want to hear this right now."

"i love you."

you sigh and you're sure reo can hear it on his end. unsure of how to respond, you just hang up on him before throwing your phone away. normally, you would feel bad about the way you left him, but that wasn't the case this time. you just needed to sleep on this.

but, it was reo you were talking about, and the last thing he was going to let you do was sleep without him.

at 1:24am, there's a series of ferocious knocks on your door, followed by screams of your name.

oh my god it was so embarrassing, you literally shoot out of bed as soon as you register what was happening and dash for your door. you don't want to disturb your neighbours' sleep and let them hear that the pathetic grovelling of your boyfriend. the entire hallway could hear reo and his shouting.

you open the door, pull him in, and slam it shut behind you again, leaving the purple-haired to stare at you with a bewildered expression.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss.

he looks at you the same way a puppy does when its owner kicked it out of the house.

you should've known that merely telling reo 'i don't want to hear this right now' would not be enough to pacify his determination and the fact that you hung up on him only intensified his pettiness. the purple-haired always sought you out, pulling himself into your orbit like a magnet. where you went, reo followed, even if it was to the ends of the world.

he had the money to do whatever he wanted, you suppose.

"i wanted to make sure you were safe," he pouts. "i didn't know whether you'd be here or not."

"well, i'm safe, and i'm here. so."

"i can see that," he leans against the back of your couch. reo looks so out of place in your small apartment, awkwardly playing with his hands. "so... should we go to bed?"

the audacity. "what do you mean 'we'? go back home, reo, i'll see you some other time."

as you turn around to go back to your bedroom, reo's quick enough to round around you, blocking you from the hallway with his larger figure.

"but you are my home. please, i'm really sorry about what i said, i didn't mean it," he pleads, grabbing your face so you could look him square in the eye.

you step out of his grasp easily, shaking him off. if you were in your right mind, you would've seen the look of heartbreak on reo's face.

"sure, if you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have said it in the first place, mikage."

you swerve around him to reach your bedroom and he follows you the entire time, trailing behind you, desperate for an ounce of your attention.

"i know i fucked up, but i didn't mean to hurt you and project my frustrations like that onto you when you were just trying to care for me." you sit down on your bed with a sigh and reo takes a seat beside you. "you know i love you right? like, a lot."

that's right. if there's one thing about reo it's that he loves you to an endless degree.

"thank you for always caring for me. i know you don't do it because you're after my money or fame, but because you want to ensure that i'm healthy and not rotting in all that i have to do," his voice cracks. is he beginning to cry. "i don't know what i'd do without you."

you let a beat of silence pass by before dropping your walls. he was always going to smash through them no matter what.

"i've always felt insecure in our relationship," you confess, no louder than an exhale and if reo wasn't holding on to every action of yours, he wouldn't have heard you. "being called a gold digger became normal when i started dating you and i didn't really care. well- i tried not to care."

you continue. "i don't want to let these comments get to me, but then you said it and... i don't know, it just felt horrible."

you feel an arm sneak under your leg, and another hand come to your elbow, both of which simultaneously pull you to straddle reo's lap. you don't look him in the eye- something he frowns at.

"i love you for you. you're the best i'll ever have, reo, but sometimes i-"

"-please don't finish that sentence," he murmurs, breath fanning against your face.

you meet his gaze. he's crying freely. tears are running down his cheeks like streams and you instinctively bring use your thumbs to catch the drops. you hate it when he cries.

"i don't want it to be anyone else but you," confesses the purple-haired. "i hate it when we're separated, i can't stay away from you too long or i think i will go insane."

his statement causes you to giggle a little.

"you laugh but i'm telling the truth."

"i laugh because you make me happy."

his arms wound around your waist, keeping you pressed against him, leaving you with no room to escape or part from him. just what reo likes.

"i'm sorry for what i said," he says against your collarbone. "when i didn't see you in our home, i didn't know what to think. i got so scared for a second because i had no idea where you could've gone so i started spamming your number-"

"-yeah wait, was calling me 24 times necessary?"

"i was going to keep calling you until you picked up so it could've taken 24 or 1000 times or more. now let me speak." you nod wordlessly, smiling a little at how silly reo can be. "and when i realised that you went back to your apartment, i felt horrible that i drove you out."

he looks up at you with glossy eyes.

"you came here because you wanted to prove me wrong, right? because you bought all this by yourself and don't need me, right?"

"well, kind of, but i also didn't want to be around you so i came back here."

reo frowns before leaning in to press delicate kisses to your neck. "please don't leave me. i need you by my side," he inhales before whispering his next statement. "even if you don't need me."

a hand of yours go up to thread through his hair. "don't say that," you use your other hand to direct his face away from your neck, pressing a kiss against his puckered lips. "i absolutely adore you, my love. you're my favourite person ever."

he smiles before leaning in again, kissing you with more fervour and passion. you can feel another tear slide down his cheek.

"lets go to bed, reo," you say when you part and he simply nods, laying you on the side of the bed before laying beside you, arms naturally finding themselves around your waist as reo tugs you as humanely close as possible. "sorry if this mattress isn't as comfortable as your twelve grand one back home."

"i couldn't care less," he whispers whilst tracing patterns on your bare skin.

so long as it's you he's next to, reo doesn't have a lot to complain about.

#bro when i say i literally wrote this in one go #I WROTE THIS IN ONE GO #reo mikage x reader #reo x reader #mikage reo x reader #blue lock x reader

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nibbelraz · 26 days

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sup homeslice i come to u with moshang related queries. Answer some, one, or none idk

Who is the one that kills/moves the (probs poisonous demon) spider out of the bathroom? Do either of them cower?

Do u think they would be capable of having a pet or even, like, a plant?

What are the modern slang terms that sqh lets slip and mbj ends up subconsciously adopting (imagine mbj remarking on sqh's lack of rizz. Utter destruction)

Oh also random cumplane thought: they both have intense meme withdrawal, which led them to hand drawing memes/reaction images on smth similar to note cards that they can whip out when needed. Cultivation world version of the meme folder in the phone of every chronically online millenial/gen z

Bro. Shen Yuan has totally made fandom-type memes about the harem webnov he TOTALLY HATES

Kk bye

YES YES GIVE ME ALL YOUR MOSHANG RELATED QUESTIONS AND CUMPLANE I really do love them both

1. Shang Qinghua is capable of moving the poisonous demon spider outside, However the second he actually sees is without warning he screams so loudly Mobei jun is in there in a second and attacking it on sight.

2. They would have many types of pets depending on the situation but I liked the idea of Shang Qinghua being in tune with the beasts of his world as the author so there's a ton of monsters that follow him and protect him and also get nice belly scratches

3. I believe he quotes old Vine memes daily, especially when he's stressed and hasn't slept in 3 days so it's just him with his king traveling and

"Road work ahead..." and an increasingly confused Mobei who sees nothing wrong with the path they're taking and is concerned

And yes they have so much meme withdrawal I BELEIVE IN MY HEART OF HEARTS SHEN YUAN CAN DRAW A BEAUTIFUL RENDER OF LUO BINGHE PRE TRANSMIGRATION ART STYLE and he shows this to Shang Qinghua with also a drawing of Hatsune Miku

Also Shang Qinghua drawing and sending letters to Shen Qingqiu that are just full of memes like he opens one after Shen Qingqiu talks for a solid chunk of the page about binghe and how absolutely perfect he is in every way with everyone being in love with him but then says not in a gay way and Qinghua replies back with

#svsss #shang qinghua #mobei jun #shen qingqiu #moshang #cumplane #theyre so funny #long post #also guys what type of plant would Shang Qinghua keep to help keep his sanity in his room #i was thinking like some energy drink plant thing but i want to hear what others would think he has #ask #nib text #hIIIII HARPPP HIIIII HIIII 😘

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syzygyzip · 3 months

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The Soul Still Burns: Analysis of the Lords of Cinder (DS3)

What follows is a short essay on the Lords of Cinder from Dark Souls 3, exploring their symbolism on spiritual and metatextual levels. After that is a related reading of Slave Knight Gael, the final adversary of the Dark Souls trilogy.

The Lords of Cinder are in many ways the primary adversaries of Dark Souls 3. This title they share, “Lord of Cinder,” refers to a personage who has rekindled the first flame, keeping the cycle of light and dark going.

Cinder is a substance which continues to burn without the presence of fire but does not reduce to ash. So euphemistically, it seems that the Lords are somehow stuck in their process of purification, and the game suggests that the world is stuck along with them; this is why it is the Ashen One’s task to “set them upon their thrones”—to hurry them along and thus allow the world to follow its natural decline. As individual characters, each of these Lords represents a different attitude that complicates and prolongs the cycle.

Through these stubborn Lords the game is commenting on at least two things. On the metaphysical level, it reflects the Buddhist idea that certain attitudes keep people reincarnating over and over again, unable to extricate themselves from the material world of suffering (samsara). While on the metatextual level, the game is suggesting that certain attitudes keep players coming back to Dark Souls again and again, starting new games, making new builds and revisiting old files.

The idea there on the metaphysical side finds an easy analogy in Buddhist doctrine: the “three poisons,” the three root causes of suffering. These are hatred, greed, and delusion. What’s interesting is that these essential vices also fit pretty easily onto the different types of players that are being caricatured by the Lords. We’ll break these correspondences down in a second.

But First: Why Do They Correspond? So we have these sets of three. Three lords, three poisons in Buddhism, three types of Souls players. How convenient. When we analyze art, we sometimes ask, “Huh, is this structure really there, or am I projecting it into the material?” And if the structure is really there, baked into the work, that doesn’t mean that it’s due to developer intention. Archetypal forms sometimes show up in work via an unconscious influence, be it due to the cultural milieu, personal psychology, or some a priori biological disposition of the human being.

And the thing about Dark Souls is that it’s an unusually honest piece of art, in that its creative team allows their own free associations and intuitions to show up in the work without too much self-censorship or questioning. They make space for a mystery to show up on its own terms, and in leaving its riddles unanswered, there is more space for discovery by the people who play it.

It should also be said that cultural ideas persist for a reason. Beneath the ethics and ideology of the people who originally named the Buddhist “three poisons,” there may be something timeless, something perennially descriptive of human nature. If that is the case, then it would make sense for this same triplicity to unfurl itself in other cultural products. So for one reason or another, these three poisons, these addictions, show up diegetically in the characters and are also expressed in player psychology.

I say all this just because sometimes I feel very aware of the disconnect between much of Souls lore discourse and the broader field of mythological study. Since we are gamers first, there may be this tendency to want to “solve” the lore, but that’s not what we’re doing here. Myth functions because it elaborates our experience of the world through affective resonance; it attaches images and characters and stories which help us anchor our own prelinguistic impressions of the world, cultivating our sensitivity there.

Anyway, let’s look at these Lords.

Abyss Watchers Poison: Hatred The lore of the Abyss Watchers is pretty clear: they have an obsessive fixation on the abyss, and are ready to raze an entire town if they suspect abyssal encroachment. This obsession has literally possessed them, as they are now “abyss touched.” Gaze too much into the abyss, etc. They carry such strong contempt for the disavowed object that they don’t care what comes between it and their sword. This is clearly demonstrated by the fact that they are a brotherhood yet are unhesitatingly slaughtering themselves again and again. Hatred has made them blind, and has also caused them to resign their individuality (they are identical, mere instruments of a transpersonal grudge). They cannot die, their hatred keeps them locked in combat.

Type of Player: competitive | Interest: combat The Abyss Watchers are a representation of PvP addicts. They have no powers other than tenacity; they perform the same combos repeatedly. When you are really gripped by a PvP binge in Souls, you often end up doing the same thing again and again. The fight takes place in a mausoleum, on top of many chambers filled with human remains. The fact that this boss fight is instructional about combat, specifically about looking for tells (a cloud of dust always signifies the end of their combos) might be another clue. There is no limit to how good you get at Souls PvP; every foe is an opportunity to improve timing and strategy. You can just keep stacking anonymous bodies under yourself.

Aldrich Poison: Greed Aldrich invokes the concept of supremacy many times: he is in the supreme area from Dark Souls 1; in the supreme boss room of that area; he wears as a crown the former supreme lord of that area. This is because he devours lords; he tries to take prestige upon himself through acquisition and incorporation—greed.

Type of Player: completionist | Interest: content Aldrich is a commentary on completionist players. He is someone who “plays the game to death”, acquiring every object, reaching every achievement, devouring the soul of the game through taking everything into himself. He becomes bloated by consuming as much of the game’s content as possible. The old God whose likeness he has adopted is Gwyndolin, who was, in narrative terms, the one pulling the strings in the land of the Gods. And in gameplay terms, he is a secret boss. So on both counts we have someone who is elusive, and exists more or less at the boundary of the gameworld. When a player tries to see every last little morsel of a game, they become somewhat like Gwyndolin, a manipulator of a virtual world. If you know too much about a game, you have the risk of being less immmersed.

Yhorm Posion: Delusion In Buddhism, the poison of delusion secretly underlies the other two poisons, as the impulse toward hatred and greed are ultimately born of some false view about reality. This is akin to how the profaned capital sits below the rest of the kingdoms. To beat Yhorm you essentially have to “play pretend” with him, picking up a fake super-weapon, or fighting alongside Siegward, a knight who appears to be somewhat deluded about the state of the world, enthralled in the same fantasy as Yhorm himself.

Type of Player: lore researcher | Interest: meaning The profaned capital is full of statues—fixed images of myth; and empty goblets—treasures with no utility. Not to mention the area with the swamp which is full of symbolic imagery, but serves no narrative or mechanical purpose. The entire profaned capital challenges us to make sense of it; it is the ultimate temptation of lorekeepers in DS3. It throws at us a disproportionate amount of reference to DS2, which is famous among Souls players as the least thematically sensible Souls game. The Greatshield of Glory is found right outside Yhorm’s room, in a conspicuous room full of treasure, and yet it is a very impractical shield and offers very little lore value. If a lore-minded player picks it up, it directs them to a legendary personage from the War of Giants, which raises far more questions than it answers. The same is true of much of this area—the Eleanora, the Monstrosities, the Profaned Flame itself—they are all there to get you to speculate. These are the players who come to Souls games again and again, trying to find the “ultimate meaning.” They seek the grail, claim to find it, and then chuck in a pile with the others.

Yhorm's story also imitates the primordial Artorias myth: forsaking his shield in preservation of something more valuable. Other than that Yhorm is largely a cipher when it comes to biography, with a void for a face, which itself epitomizes what must remain at the center of mythology and storytelling: mystery.

Sit Down and Seek Guidance So we have the three reasons that people become fixated on Souls: the combat, the achievements, and the mystery. But there is a fourth lord of cinder boss, who is conceptually apart from these three: the Lothric Twins. They represent yet another kind of person who must keep playing Dark Souls: the developers. Lothric is striving to produce “a worthy heir,” a proper sequel to Dark Souls 1. The Princes are bound to their chamber as the developers are bound to their project, as that is their curse—“but you may rest here too, if you like.” In this context we can see their duality as the dual nature of having to work on the game and also play it to death. The privilege and the loftiness of the promise of a great piece of art (Lothric), and also having to go back "into the trenches" of the work itself (Lorian). Notably, neither of them can walk, they just teleport around. They are stuck at work, trying to bring the new world into being. Also I can’t go this whole essay without mentioning the obvious: that the Ashen One is bringing Lords to their thrones, and we players and developers have to assume our little chairs and couches when we access this world.

Playing Beyond the Point of Pleasure Of course the most extreme example of someone stubbornly remaining in the world no matter what is Slave Knight Gael. He is looking for pigment, which seems to be a euphemism for the substance of humanity (the Dark Soul). He wants to give it to the painter, the world-creator, so that a new world can be made. He is willing to indulge in a wasteland of abject violence for as long as it takes in order to renew something. Ironic that he is probably only prolonging the current world in his obsessive drive to recycle it faster.

Let’s examine the relationship between the figure of the painter and her relationship to Gael. That she is a spiritual entity is obvious: we never see her touch the ground, she is always in an upper room and lifted on a piece of furniture. Among other things, she is a clear metaphor for life springing eternally. A creative child who continues to paint despite kidnapping and imprisonment. She is the heart of the painted world, itself a place that symbolizes the idea of the representation of reality.

I want to make sure this is clear, because it is a bit of a kaleidoscope to consider. Any subject in Dark Souls stands for many things, but something that the painted world specifically represents is the very concept of representation. So of course the places in our imaginations are painted worlds, but so is this physical world of appearance, the maya of mundane reality. Not to mention that a work of art is a painted world, and the game we’re discussing is a painted world. When a work of art is able to recreate itself in itself, we can see this funny effect of mirrors reflecting mirrors infinitely. This results in seemingly inexhaustible symbolic content—there is so much potential to find meaning and create connections. Because Moby Dick represents a work of literature; the Tempest represents a play; Twin Peaks represents a TV show, these works can offer extensive insights not only into their medium but into the nature of reality. In these and other examples, the representation of the medium within the work may or may not be a single subject, but since Dark Souls is formally a game about levels and level design, the painted world is the heart of its self-reflexivity. The painted world can be pointed to as the summary of this fractal device. And the personification of that device, its ambassador to the player, is the painter.

The miracle or divine child is also an archetype familiar to us from Lothric, in their struggle to produce the “worthy heir.” Reality seeks salvation through the appearance of grace. They want it in a clear, incontestable form—to be able to point at it and say, "thank goodness we went through all that, because look, now here is the meaning, here is that which validates all that came before." In the world of Dark Souls 3 the religion of the masses is the Lothric stuff; meanwhile knowledge of the painted world is much more obscure. Lothric’s religion is obviously regulated and hierarchical, while Gael’s devotion to the painter is highly personal and private: he carries around a scrap of painting; he prostrates to a hidden idol in a small chapel; he considers the painter his family. He is emotionally close to the object of his worship.

But whether it’s Lothric or Ariandel, they are anticipating the divine child to redeem the world. As an archetype, the child ultimately represents surprise. The possibility of being delighted by life in its creative novelty. The child as an archetype appears in our own behavior when we do something without any sort of contrivance or mental interference, doing something in the world which doesn’t seem to have come from who we conceive ourselves to be. This is miraculous. Such an action enchants the world, and there is no explaining it, even if it may weave all kinds of stories around itself, retroactively framing things that have led up to it as portents or promises. (Though not exclusive to him, this trait is well-known in characterizations of Christ, and DS3 is clearly indebted to Christian iconography, so do with that what you will). Regardless of the specific cultural invocation, the divine child is a personification of something that happens within the human spirit. TFW you are renewed by a fresh and spontaneous engagement with life.

The grace of the miraculous often comes to us through play. Play is more of an attitude than an activity; the feeling of play may come to us through making a painting, or chatting with a friend, or moving around in a video game. We can play video games idly, competitively, experimentally, creatively, studiously, whatever, the feeling of “play” can show up regardless. We can sit there playing a certain game from a certain motivation, and feel totally rote and joyless, and question, “Why am I doing this?” Or we might sit there and play the same game with the same motivation, feeling totally lit up by it, its purpose to us obvious and self-validating. We are not even questioning why we are doing it, we are enjoying life.

This is really the ground that the miraculous tends to land on. Grace, meaning, and an immanent love of life are more likely to show up when we are in flow and not exercising our capacity for self-assessment. But like everything in life, we mistake the images and objects around us for the feeling of grace. Any given object might only be the catalyst once; it’s not about the object. This is extremely easy to see in cases of acute nostalgia; adults chase enchantment through collecting Zelda memorabilia or going to Disneyland, in pursuit of what kindled their spirit as a child. It was never really the game or the character that was doing it, it was what they were able to access within themselves.

So anyway Gael has yet to realize this. He thinks the Dark Soul is out there in something else. That it will be yielded as a drop if he just kills the right enemy, or 10,000 enemies, or goes to the right place at the right time. You can see that this is something of a synthesis of all the other Buddhist defilements: there are elements of completionism/greed, violence/hatred, mysticism/delusion. There is even the suggestion of the developer of these games again, in that Gael is a “slave,” forced into participation in the world to assist some creative apotheosis. (Isn’t it funny that his weapon is a worn-down executioner’s sword?—whether the person coding or the person playing, we are all “executing” command after command). The thing that really keeps him on the wheel is something beyond any of the player types and their vices; it is almost some sort of pure, amoral automatism, a churning drive that on one side resembles wanton nihilism, and on another side single-minded piousness. Is one disguised as the other, or has Gael somehow stepped beyond this binary? Yet another dichotomy in Dark Souls that begs to be reconciled, but whose tension creates the opportunity to participate creatively in its expansive mythology. When things are held apart we can move between them.

To really understand Gael, we have to contend with the question of a person’s relationship to their own soul, since that relationship is so plainly suggested by Gael and the painter. (This question, by the way, is much elaborated in Elden Ring, with its repeated foregrounding of the image of the maiden or “consort”). If we were to see Gael and the painter as partitions within one person--whether she is his soul, or his inner life, or his better nature, whatever—then in any case Gael is the side which goes out into the world and experiences it. He is the creative extension into the world as its active participant and realizer. Yet he is clothed as the warrior, the executioner. While the one who is dressed as the artist, the painter, just stays in her room and imagines the world—but this is where the magic of creation is really felt. We involve ourselves in life, or in a game, but we are only really changed and renewed when that exterior experience is “brought home” into the inner life. We do something “in the game,” but the act of “painting,” in renewing the world through our creative interpretation, is a decidedly interior experience.

#dark souls #dark souls 3 #lords of cinder #game entrainment #dark souls analysis #dark souls lore #ariandel #slave knight gael #the painted world

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nova-streyart · 7 months

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The Thing about Belos Nobody Mentions

There's an aspect of Belos I haven't seen anyone talk about yet: him potentially being on the schizophrenia spectrum, or schizospec for short, and everything that means. Before you say anything, I am a schizoaffective person. This is my interpretation. This is based off my own experiences with this disorder, and my own research.

Analysis and rant under the cut:

=ANALYSIS=

So this all started when I learned that one of the color design pieces had Caleb and the grimwalkers labelled "Golden Guard Illusion". Artists credited in the image itself.

It's weird to me that they're labeled as illusions and not hallucinations, because the latter is what the ghosts actually are. Illusions are images your brain distorts based off something that's there, while hallucinations are images your brain creates from nothing. The fact that these ghosts are actually hallucinations of Belos and not real ghosts doesn't say a whole lot about Belos on its own, because anyone can hallucinate if they experience intense enough negative emotions. But you'll see why I think there's something more to this.

Following this lead, I rewatched the scene where Papa Titan talks to Luz in the In-Between realm in the series finale. After Luz asks him whether her motivation to save her friends and family makes her just as bad as Belos, she tells her:

"Well, you assume Belos' goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn't care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion."

Let me give you a short lesson about delusions in the context of schizospec disorders: Delusions are firmly held beliefs that the person experiencing can't be convinced aren't true. This can be extremely serious and life-threatening, such as as believing all your food's been poisoned. But it can also be harmless; it really depends on the delusion. The type of delusion referenced here would be a delusion of grandeur, which is a real thing in schizospec disorders. Such delusions can be serious, like believing you're the second coming of god, or more harmless, like believing you're better than others.

Taking both the hallucinations and the delusion into mind, it's very possible that Belos has some kind of schizospec disorder.

=RANT=

Let's talk about that scene where Belos goes to the grimwalker cave. Notice how the hallucinations are played for laughs? That's problematic. Hallucinations are not something you can just tell to "shut up" and they'll go away. Hallucinations are not things you can interact with. There's already other media with this problem, such as A Beautiful Mind, but the fact that it's in a show that's supposed to be celebrating neurodivergence is hypocritical.

Let's briefly go back to that Papa Titan quote. See how he used the word "delusion" to describe Belos' motivation?Yeah, that's really problematic in the schizospec community. As mentioned before, delusions can be life threatening, so tossing that word around like it's nothing is really frustrating and insulting. The show should have used a word like "fantasy" to get its point across more effectively if it was implying that Belos has a hero complex.

Continuing this train of thought, it gets worse when you consider how Papa Titan- and in essence the narrative- is essentially ridiculing Belos for experiencing a very intense delusion. Delusions are not something a schizospec person can control. I've already seen the fandom mocking Belos for this quality. It was one of those awful memes with the caption "schizophrenia," and had audio of markiplier doing a bit where he was bantering with an "inner voice". Such memes are awful because they're not real experiences schizospec people go through. They're assumptions about our experiences non-schizospec people make about us.

That would be the worst of it, but no, it gets far worse when you consider a few things:

Belos is the main antagonist. That would be annoying enough, considering the plethora of mentally ill villains in media, but nope. The narrative also treats him as this purely evil being who is incapable of any good whatsoever. Which, OK. It's possible for a schizospec person to be a monster. But the fact that the only schizospec representation we have is either of us as helpless victims, or as irredeemable monsters, is infuriating.

Belos is clearly meant to be a foil to Luz. Which, congrats to the show for having a neurodivergent lead, but let me tell you about some of the hardships schizospec people face: In real life, schizospec people are cast out of mental health advocacy groups. Schizospec people are treated as subhuman by doctors and psychiatrists. Schizospec people are demonized and vilified by society. Schizospec people are denied jobs and housing. With all this in mind the fact the narrative chooses to glorify a character with the "right," the "acceptable," kind of neurodivergence while berating a character with the "scary," the "monstrous," kind of neurodivergence is absolutely disgusting.

=CONCLUSION=

I feel like it has to be said that I am not condoning Belos' actions, or trying to woobify him. Belos, as a person, was terrible. No amount of mental illness tacked onto him will excuse any of his actions.

I'm also not trying to imply that schizospec characters can't be evil. I'm just saying that it's extremely tiresome that the only representation we get is either us as victims or as villains.

To conclude all of this, please, do your research before adding something like this into your story.

#long post #rant post #toh critical #toh criticism #belos #toh belos #emperor belos #philip wittebane #toh philip wittebane

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boyakishantriage · 8 months

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"They were called concentration camps. And it wasn't to enrich the species. Don't know where the hell you got that from, "historian." "

She'd spat out the statement like poison, bitter as she displayed the images. Bodies mutilated, people beated, starving, thin and pale as the snow around them.

"What-"

"This group were Jews, the soldiers were called Nazis, specifically National Socialist German Workers' Party. They were humans, but back then. Well back then they were Nazis."

She'd leaned back into her seat, nestling herself into the chair. Letting the history obsessed alien absorb her words.

"So Sampson lied?"

"If you mean Sampson Limberdov, he's a neo nazi. The last generation of Nazi before we'd hunted them down set up a new group. Doesn't really matter, all you need to know."

The slideshow showed the fearful eyes of the hung up man.

"He's not human. He's a mass murdering rapist pedophilic terf mother fucker. Creating four seperate cults that ended the lives of fourteen thousand youths."

"That's. You're lying."

She looked at the alien in the eye.

"Why would I lie?"

They were called Orsi, from the planet Osmo. A species who'd been the second wave of species to join the Federation, one of the most prevalent historical archivists. And she'd explained.

"This has no evidence-"

"I'd say the human race telling you this last being enough evidence."

She pushed another button.

"85 million dead. Of a population of 1.2 billion people, sure, it might just be a tiny fraction. But considering the largest death count from a war was during the time of Rome. At least a thousand years before world war two. We weren't going to forget anytime soon."

Rising to her feet, she pushed another button.

"You've heard of our genocides, wars, pandemics. So much death and destruction leading to today. 5 hundred thousand years since world war two. And you want to say I'm lying about all the deaths?"

Leaning in close, eyes tear less as she looked down at the bird.

"I didn't say that. It's just... Why didn't they tell us?"

She snorted, lighting her cigarette.

"Hell if I know. Probably because your sources were Nazis."

"What is a Nazi anyways?"

"National Socialist German Workers' Party"

"I mean yeah, but-"

"So. A really long time ago, humanity was a bunch of apes running from predators..."

#humans are space orcs #tag #Triage #History lost #Lore shit #writing #Should I continue this?

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xxspringmelodyxx · 9 months

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Deception~

Morax(Zhongli) x Adeptus!Reader Ch. II

Hello my lovely readers! I’m going to keep it short because I don’t really have anything else to say other than I hope you enjoy! The chapter starts with Guizhong instead of you, so we are going to see from her POV to see her reaction to you and Morax having a baby. It then will switch back to you, but to start off, we are seeing Guizhongs POV. :)

Here is the second part of the request:

“It was at one of the Adepti gatherings that Rex Lapis proudly announced that Reader is pregnant. The other Adepti rejoiced; their Lord finally had an heir. Meanwhile, Guizhong seethed inwardly and she started to plot; to make Reader not only lose her child and also her life. Guizhong knew Reader would be most vulnerable during the late stages of her pregnancy and right after childbirth. On the percept of celebrating Reader's upcoming child, Guizhong sent her presents, laced with a slow-acting poison.”

Again, thank you to @sailorstar9 for this amazing request and I hope you like it! And without further ado, here is chapter two to “Deception”, enjoy~ (Ch. I is here) <333

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| Word Count: 3.1K | Warnings: None (I don't think at least) |

I slammed my fist on the table, yelling out of frustration. Why did she have to come into our lives?! Why did SHE have to be the one he falls in love with?! What does she have that I don’t?

Thoughts spiraled in my mind as the image of Y/n and Morax with a small family kept showing up. Tears were starting to form in my eyes at the horrendous image. That should be me (holding your hand). I was supposed to be the one with him, not her!

“She screwed everything up for me! She ruined my life!” I yelled, throwing the bell I was working on. It made a loud shattering noise as it broke into multiple pieces. It was going to be a gift for Morax…a gift that I had been working on for quite some time. Not that it mattered anymore...

I felt my chest tighten as I realized it was over between Morax and me. All those years of our friendship…all those years of trying to get him to fall in love with me as I did with him, tossed down the drain like it was nothing.

I almost had him as well! It was only until that rat, Y/n, came into our lives to help those damn Yaksha’s from succumbing to their Karmic debts.

I remember it still to this day, almost as if it happened yesterday. Morax and I were trying to help the Yaksha’s from their demise. I tried making potions and gadgets that would help strengthen their mind to stop them from falling to their doom, but that could only work for so long. Eventually, their karmic debts would grow stronger and stronger each passing day, making it harder for me to make anything that would fight against it. Morax and I worked hard together for many months before coming to a realization that it was only a matter of time before the Yaksha’s finally met their fate. It was inevitable. That was until a certain someone came back.

Just as we were about to give up, a woman known for her abilities of healing and purification came into the picture. Everyone was shocked to see her, though, as they thought she had died many years ago. According to the stories I was told when I was younger, this woman went on a mission to help another tribe that was dealing with a horrible disease that was rapidly spreading. Apparently, it killed over half of their population and so the woman left to go help them. When she hadn’t returned on the day she said she would, people began to grow worried. Many archons were out almost every night, desperately searching the adeptus. After a year had passed, everyone had declared that she had died on the mission and so, her image slowly but surely began to fade away.

Now that she had returned, everyone was ecstatic. She had heard of the Yaksha’s issues as there were many rumors spiralling about them. Eventually, those rumors spread outside of our area and made it to her.

That’s when Morax and I met her. She told us about herself and how she can help us stop the Yaksha’s. I was hesitant, but Morax was so desperate to find a cure for them that he was willing to try anything.

She walked up to the troubled Yaksha’s and placed her hand on their heads one by one. She spoke an ancient language that I did not recognize. As she did, her entire body started to glow, and cracks began forming all over her body. The cracks began to shine a bright white color, and a golden liquid began to seep out of the cracks. The liquid ran up her arm in a spiral motion, and once it reached her hand, the golden liquid shot up into the Yaksha’s head, spreading all over their bodies.

Within minutes, the golden liquid that was inside of their bodies began to turn black as it did its work. Soon after, the black liquid shot out of their chests and back into the woman. The woman took the black liquid and spoke to it, again with that ancient tongue. The liquid shook violently and a few seconds later, a large and dark shadowy figure came out of it. It flew away, disappearing for good, allowing the Yaksha’s to be permanently healed and purified.

Weeks had passed, and the woman who we came to know as Y/n, said it was time for her to leave. However, Morax insisted that she stayed because he felt that he needed to pay her back for helping him. I stupidly agreed with him and insisted that she stay. Oh how I regret agreeing with him. If I didn’t do that, Morax most likely would have ended up marrying me…having kids with me…we would have been such a happy family.

When Y/n agreed to stay for a while longer, Morax and her began to fall in love with each other. They would constantly go out during the night to take long walks or watch the sky. After almost a year of knowing her, Morax finally confessed to her his feelings, telling her how much he loved her, how much he craved for her. Unfortunately, Y/n had grown the same feelings as well, and accepted his confession. Not too long after, they were engaged and soon enough, they finally got married.

I was heart broken when all of this happened. I still am to this day. I HATE Y/n…I hate, hate, hate her!

Memories of them together, holding each other in their arms, enjoying each other's presence. Oh how I wish that was me in her position. Holding him in my arms, feeling his strong arms secure me, feeling his soft and gentle kisses on my lips, and hearing and seeing him the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Y/n didn’t deserve him! She will never fully and truly appreciate his love like I would. He’s too great for her…she is nothing compared to him!

Tears slipped from my eyes as I fell to the ground, holding my chest where my heart was. It hurt so bad. The love of my life was in love with another. I don’t have a chance now as long as she is alive and well…if only she could just disappear out of his life already like she did long ago…I would finally have another chance with him.

That’s when my sobbing came to an abrupt stop as an idea popped up in my mind.

I quickly jumped up to my feet, running to my cabinet of ingredients that I used to use to make elixirs and medicine. I swung the doors open and frantically searched for three specific ingredients. White Chicory, Blood Petals, and River Mallow. These three ingredients alone were powerful in their own way. White Chicory when mixed with a bit of water and honey allowed the drinker to heal within a couple minutes. The Blood Petals when eaten alone will cause the person to die instantly. And the River Mallow allows anything to taste absolutely delicious. The White Chicory and Blood petals taste absolutely disgusting, but once mixed with the River Mallow, they should have a delicious savory taste.

If I mix these together, it will make a poison that slowly kills the person who takes it.

I could mix these in some food and give it to her to ‘help’ her with her pregnancy. That way, she will slowly die and no one would ever think I was the culprit.

I looked at the Blood Petals, thinking about just giving her those, but I quickly decided against it. If I were to give her the blood petals with the River Mallow, she would die instantly and then Morax and everyone else would know it was I who killed her. I can’t allow that to happen. I need to make it look like it was just an accident.

I quickly grabbed the ingredients from the back, holding them in my arms as I grabbed my mortar and pestle. I placed everything down and began to work my magic.

–a few months later–

“Y/n, can I please be the godparent of your baby? Please!!” Indarius begged, holding her hands together.

“No way! I wanna be the godparent!” Bosa said, pushing Indarius out of the way.

“You!? You can’t even care for your own self, let alone a baby! Let me be the godparent, Y/n! Compared to these two, I am the best choice.” Bonanus said with confidence.

“You three are bothersome. I mean look at yourselves. The way you three fight with each other, you just aren’t prepared to be in such a position. Being a godparent takes responsibility. Therefore, I think I would make the better godparent for your child, Y/n.” Menogias said, stepping in front of the three others.

“Hey, that's not fair!” Bosa complained, pushing Menogias out of the way.

“Yeah, just because you are more reserved doesn’t mean anything. You would probably bore the hell out of the kid if you were their godparent!” Bona said, siding with Bosa

“What are you talking about? I can be fun.” Menogias said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Who are you kidding? Your type of fun is going to a hill and watching clouds move.” Indarius said

“That sounds relaxing actually.” I budded in, making the four stop and turn to me.

“O-oh uh, yes of course it is, Lady Y/n…we just meant-” I giggled at them, standing up to walk to them.

“Look, I know you all want to be the godparent for our child, but Morax and I have already decided who its going to be.” I said, seeing my husband stand up from his throne, walking towards me.

He placed one of his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. He placed his other hand on my tummy, feeling the small baby bump that was forming.

“Yes, we have.” He said, smiling down at me.

“It’s me, right? Go on, tell these three that its me.” Bosa said, crossing his arms together with a smug look

“Actually, no, it’s not going to be you, Bosa.” Morax said, making Bosa deflate while looking up at us with betrayal.

“It’s not?”

“Nope.”

“I figured as much. It’s most likely me. I am the most responsible out of all of you.” Menogias said with pride

“Sorry, Menogias…” I said, giving him an apologetic look.

“In fact, it is neither one of you.” Morax said, making all of them slightly gasp.

“It is going to be…Xiao.” Morax finished, making all of their eyes widen.

“Xiao!?” They all repeated

“But…But why him? I wanted to be the godparent in the first place-” Bona started, but Morax placed his hand up to stop her from finishing.

“Our choice is final. Xiao will be the godfather of our child.” Morax said, making them all pout.

“Oh, don’t be sad, you guys.”

“Yeah, I don’t understand why you are all throwing a fit. You will all be godparents soon enough.

“Yeah-wait, what?” I said, turning to him with surprise.

He looked down at me with love, but had a devious smirk on his face.

“Yes, my love. After this child is born, we will have many more on the way to make a big family. That way, each of our precious Yaksha’s can each be a godparent.” He said, moving his hand lower on my back.

A small squeak came out of my mouth as heat rose to my face. A big family, huh?

A small smile snuck its way onto my face as the image popped up in my head.

“Yay! I am gonna be a godfather soon!” Bosa said.

“In your dreams! I’m gonna be the next godfather soon. You will probably be the last of us to be a godparent.” Menogias said

“It’s not going to be either of you, because I am going to make sure it's me next.” Bona said

“And how do you propose to do that? Huh?” Bosa asked

“By doing the most for our precious Y/n! I’ll clean up hers and Morax’s room, I'll cook her food, I’ll even change the baby's diapers when they’re born! All I know is that I am going to do far more than you three to make sure I am the next godmother!” Bona finished.

“No way, I am going to do the most for her and Morax!” Indarius said.

“Nuh uh! I am!” Bosa said.

Morax and I looked at each other with smiles on our faces, chuckling at the Yaksha’s arguing.

Suddenly, my stomach started to grumble, making me realize how hungry I am.

“Oh wow…I am having a sudden craving for food…but I don’t know what I want to eat.” I said, placing my hand on my stomach.

“Oh! I’ll fix something up for you, Y/n!” Bosa said, running to the kitchen.

“No! I wanna make her something!” Bona yelled, running after Bosa.

“Get back here you two! I am going to do it, you both suck at cooking anyways!” Indarius said.

“I am the best chef here! You three don’t even know how to properly cook an egg!” Menogias said, chasing after all three of them.

Morax rolled his eyes at them, shaking his head at their childishness.

“This is why we chose Xiao to be the first godparent.” he said, kissing my neck

I giggled from his comment, placing my hand on his head, stroking his hair.

Again, my stomach rumbled, only louder this time.

“Wow, I didn’t know being pregnant would make me this hungry all the time.” I complained, sitting back down.

“How about I go make you something? You know, something you can actually eat. I know damn well that those four are going to burn everything they cook.” Morax said, chuckling at the thought.

“That would be nice. Your cooking always makes me happy-”

“Hello, friends.” A voice said, making Morax and I turn our heads to see none other than Guizhong.

“Ah, hello Guizhong! What brings you here?” Morax asked

“Well, I did some reading on pregnancies and I read about how women tend to get hungrier after a few months have passed. So I have been doing research on foods that help pregnant women be happier and more fulfilled. Once I found the perfect recipe, I realized I actually needed to learn how to cook it. So it took me a while to learn, but eventually, I came around and perfected it!” She said, making me smile

“Oh Guizhong, that’s too nice of you. You didn’t have to go through all of that.” I said, seeing her shake her head

“No, no, no. You two are my closest friends and I want to make sure you both are happy and well. Soooo…I made this for you, Y/n!” She said, holding up a plate of what looked to be creamy herb chicken. It looked absolutely delicious.

“Oh my…that looks…amazing.” I said, my mouth watering from the smell.

“Well go on, eat it then. You don’t wanna be hungry forever now do you?” She said, handing me the dish.

I grabbed the fork and grabbed some of the chicken dipped in the cream and brought it to my lips, inhaling the savory aroma. I quickly put it in my mouth and tasted the delicious flavor. It was so juicy and tender!

“Oh my, Guizhong…I think you outdid yourself on this. It’s so rich in flavor! What did you put in this to make it so good?” I asked, making Guizhong smirk a bit.

“Oh, just some new seasonings I got. There is one called River Mallow that I recently received from a good friend of mine. It’s from a flower that goes well with any type of meat. So I put it on the chicken and let it marinate for about three hours and boom! A juicy and flavorful dish! I’m assuming you like it?” She asked

“Like it? I love it! Oh, please tell me you have more! This is absolutely to die for” I said, taking another bite.

Guizhong smirked a bit, only this time it seemed to be more…sinister.

“Not yet…but I have many other recipes that I’d like to try and give you. They should all be just as tasty as this dish.”

“Mmmm, I’m okay with that. If those other dishes taste this good, I’m okay with anything you cook. Thank you again.” I said.

“Of course! Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go back home. I have many other events to attend to. I just wanted to stop by and let you try my new dish. Goodbye now!” She said, leaving.

“Goodbye, Guizhong! Feel free to come back anytime with more food!” I said, joking a bit. Guizhong chuckled and turned around waving goodbye at us.

“This is delicious, dear! Here, have some!” I said, but Morax shook his head, pushing my hand back

“No, my dear. It is yours to eat. Plus, you need it since you are eating for two. I can make my own food. As for you, I want you to enjoy that meal.” he said, kissing your temple while holding your upper arm.

“You’re too kind, my love. How was I so lucky to have met you?” I said

“No, it is I that is lucky to have met you, my dear. I’m so happy to have you in my life…and to have you as my wife.” He said, placing another kiss on my face.

“I love you, Morax.” I spoke, looking into his eyes with love.

“And I love you, my sweet Y/n~” He replied, rubbing his hand softly against my arm.

–--

I smiled with dark intent as I realized what I had just done. They had no idea what was really going on! How stupid!

I looked back towards the palace where Y/n and Morax were, feeling happy. There was no going back now. Soon enough, Y/n will be no more…and I can finally have my beloved Morax back.

We will, once and for all, be together…

Forever~

____________________

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highpri3stess · 1 year

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Impulsive - Keisuke Baji

summary: baji's impulsive yet charming nature sometimes can be quite advantageous to both your romantic lives

warning: fem!reader, nsfw, fluff/crack, friends/idiots to lovers, university au, flashing, masturbation mention, oral (m. recieving), fingering, tit play, dry humping, Baji really likes your boobies, pet names (princess, pretty girl), after care, overall sweet stuff.

monica's notes: i took impulsive baji and literally ran with him. likes, reblog and comments are appreciated. You can check my bio for my masterlist and taglist form.

rated 18+, minors dni

word count: 3.9k words

ONE thing about your friends Emma and Senju is that they have a good way of putting you in very compromising situations.

You feel awkward just standing outside Keisuke's dorm room with Senju and Emma hanging behind the trees to see if you would actually do it. They knew you had a huge crush on Keisuke ever since you started university and that you could barely speak to him because you were extremely shy, only ever nodding or playing with your fingers whenever he asked you about your day or if you needed help with anything.

Emma was the first to notice your huge crush on her brother's best friend, before teasing you about it with Senju. "Do you like his long dark hair?" She teased you about it with an obvious smirk, in which you would just hide your face in your pillow. "Or is it his vampire grin? His broad chest and toned arms? Or the way your name sounds with his voice?"

But teasing was just teasing and they respected your wishes not to do anything embarrassing to you whenever Baji was around.

Until this stupid truth or dare game came along.

You can't believe Senju. "I dare you to flash Baji." is what she had dared you to do. How obvious can she be? What if you get in trouble for doing something as silly as flashing him? This was such a bad idea from start to finish and you really did not want to do it. But it was either this or drinking that horrible concoction you, Senju and Emma made and you did not see yourself getting food poisoning anytime soon.

'This is Keisuke Baji I'm talking about' you think to yourself as you stand outside his window, twirling the ends of your jumper between your fingers. 'easily one of the hottest guys on campus with girls and guys flocking around him in seconds. I don't want to embarrass myself by doing this.'

Your phone buzzes loudly and you quickly open it to see it was Emma that texted you.

Emma: Get ready, I've called Baji to look at a special surprise waiting for him outside 😉

You: I hate both you and Senju, literally.

You were about to type something else when the lights in Keisuke's room came on, making you quickly put your phone into your pocket and turn to face the window. You briefly contemplate chickening out and just running away, but the mental image of that concoction going down your throat sends a shiver down your spine.

A tall shadowy figure makes its way to the window blinds and opens it, revealing a tired Keisuke with his large fingers rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, mumbling something about Emma calling him at such an ungodly hour. Your heart races as Keisuke scans the exterior of his dorm until he spots you all the way from down stairs.

"(Name)?" His tone is nothing short of shock as he looks at you with tired eyes. "What are you doing down here?"

You take in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the utter humiliation that would follow the moment you went through with your plan.

'It's now or never'

Keisuke stares at you in confusion as you start lifting up the edges of your baggy sweater slowly, still maintaining eye contact with your crush until your bare chest is revealed completely, showing your tits in all its glory. You watch as all the tiredness in his eyes fade into a much darker glint, his face completely heating up with embarrassment and shock as he absorbs the sight of your naked tits hanging out in the cool air, nipples erect from the stimulation.

Eventually, your bravado expires and you quickly drop your shirt down to cover yourself, clearly humiliated. You had just shown Keisuke - and possibly some other guys- your breasts. Keisuke can only oogle, just standing there in perpetual shock as you run into the bushes where Emma and Senju are giggling and stifling their laughter.

"Omg you did it! I cannot believe you really chose to show him your tits" Senju screams, jumping into the front of the car, with Emma plopping at the back. "You really did show it! Things are about to get interesting between the two of you."

You can only bury your hands in your head to hide your face. Maybe drinking the concoction wasn't such a bad idea after all, because now you have to think of what you're going to say when you see him tomorrow.

You had just shown your crush your tits, who knows what might be going through his head right now?

"I can't believe this shit. I'm never doing this with you guys ever again. Ugh!"

THE next few days are rather uneventful.

You've spent most of it going to class and trying to avoid Keisuke at all cost, even going as far as walking straight into the male toilet just to hide. Emma and Senju have been snickering all through it, muttering something about you 'manning up' and just talking to him.

"Another bad idea from the two of you. No thank you." You scoff, putting more attention on the scarf you were knitting. Your body shudders at the thought of just talking to Keisuke about what you did that day and imagining the look of disgust that would cross his face.

"Listening to the two of you got me into this mess. I am not sure I can face Baji after that thing I did. He must think I'm a pervert."

You were too focused on the scarf you were knitting that you didn't see your two friends exchanging a knowing look, before looking back at you. "Well, pervert or not" Emma continues, now tossing your school bag on the table. "You still have to meet up with Chifuyu for the study group you both have in his room."

'Shit'

Your eyes widened in realization the moment Emma had reminded you of your weekly study group with Chifuyu. You quickly drop your knitting scarf and get up, running around the room to get your shoes and trousers. "I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT, CHIFUYU'S GONNA KILL ME!" you scream while putting on your trousers. "HOW LATE AM I?" You ask Senju frantically, now trying to adjust your sneakers.

"It's 3:45 pm." She says, putting down her phone. "but (name) aren't you forgetting some-"

"Oh shit! That's 15 minutes gone, I've got to go, got to go-" you keep repeating, slinging your bag across your shoulders and running out of the room without wasting anymore time. Senju and Emma can only sigh whilst shaking their head at you running down the stairs and muttering "Chifuyu don't kill me please".

"So… should we tell her?" Senju asks, looking at Emma as they watch you run off while screaming until you disappear. "Nah," Emma shrugs, a smug smile crawling onto her lips before shutting the door in front of her. "She'll figure it out when she gets there."

YOU don't expect Baji Keisuke to be the one opening the door to Chifuyu's dorm room.

You can only stare wide-eyed as he stands in front of you, shirtless, trousers hanging low on his waist, revealing his Calvin Klein boxers and long hair cascading across his broad shoulders. His eyes are wide, indicating his shock of seeing you here as well - you've been avoiding him all week, of course he's surprised to see you here.

You have to start talking before the awkwardness gets worse.

"Um I thought this was Chifuyu's room" you managed to get out of your mouth. 'Don't be lame, just say anything less stupid' you scream internally. "What are you doing here?"

If the ground can swallow you, you hope it does right now. Your stupidity is too much for the world to handle.

"I'm Chifuyu's roommate." Keisuke replies to your question with a raised brow, clearly confused because you've come here so many times. "You've seen me here before."

'Of course I have, how else did this stupid fucking crush on you start?'

"Oh, I'm so sorry" you apologize, smiling awkwardly and scratching your head. This was so embarrassing for you, first the whole flashing ordeal and now you asking him if he lives in his own dorm room. No wonder he's just staring down at you like you've lost your mind, he must think you're utterly embarrassing. "I'll just go-"

"You weren't this nervous the other night."

You froze in your spot, your brain shutting down for a few seconds as you stared at him like he grew an extra head. Your heart races in your chest, your brain struggling to find the words to just say anything to him but ultimately failing. Keisuke notices your struggle and decides to continue talking until you can speak again.

"I didn't expect that from you to be honest, but…" a smirk appears on his face as he steps forward, closing the space between the two of you. Your heart hammers loudly in your chest at the proximity, your feet planted onto the ground, unable to move. "I like what I saw that night"

'He what?'

"They're pretty, y'know." His voice is dangerously low and you don't even register that his hand is now on your cheek until he leans forward and your noses are almost touching. "I just want to put one in my mouth and play with the other, if you're down of course." His hot breath is intoxicating, leaving you light headed as he cups your jaw with his free hand. "Although I don't think it's bad to cop a feeling from the girl I like. Right?"

"Y-you like me?" Should you be falling for this? You know Baji is sincere and if he wants to get in your pants, he isn't afraid to tell you to your face. But don't you think you're rushing things if you two sleep together now?

You shiver as his fingers ghost along your waistline, trailing up and down your hips. "Since Emma introduced me to you, I've not been able to think of anyone else." His voice is charming, alluring even, all your inhibitions are thrown outside the window. "You're such a sweet girl. I like you so much but you always avoid me." You're convinced at this point that Keisuke is seducing you for sure with the way he's touching you and speaking to you, but it's not like you're against it. "Got me thinking you hate me or something."

"I'm shy." You know this is a dangerous territory you are threading, sleeping with someone you like without going on a first date at least is always a bad idea. You are putting your heart on the line, trusting Keisuke's integrity. "I thought you wouldn't be interested in me."

His arm circles around your hips gently, pulling you into the dorm room with him and closing the door behind the two of you. "Well then, let me show you how very much interested I am in you."

KEISUKE feels like he is in heaven right now.

He has you straddling him on his bed in only your panties with your clothes and shoes neatly folded on his reading table, one of your tits in his mouth while he gropes the other one in his large hand, massaging and playing with it. His free hand guides your hips to grind against the prominent bulge on his trousers, pleasure spreading through his body like wildfire.

"Kei, like that" you moan quietly, your hand digging through his long hair, pushing his head further into your chest. "Mmh fuck, feels good, your tongue-."

He rolls his tongue over your nipple, circling around your areola, his fingers pinching your other nipple. He smirks as your back arches against his lips, pressing your body against him.

He's got to thank Emma for bringing you into his life.

Keisuke pulls away from breast with a loud pop, replacing it with his large hand, massaging your breasts gently. "Give me a kiss pretty girl." He commands breathlessly and you press your lips on his in an open mouthed kiss. You invade his mouth with your tongue, swirling your wet muscle against his. He groans in pleasure when you tug on his hair roughly, overwhelming his senses as you play with his mouth and keep humping his clothed cock, occasionally pulling away to catch your breath before kissing him again.

He lets you trail down his jaw and neck, your teeth grazing and sucking dark marks on his skin. Your kisses are much more intoxicating than he can imagine, leaving him aching to feel all of you, to just rip your panties off and fuck you until you're both spent. "Move your panties to the side, 'want to finger that pretty pussy." He moans breathlessly and you let go of his hair briefly, shifting your panties aside for him and stopping your movement.

Deft fingers trail over your pussy lips, gathering all the slick produced before pushing two fingers at once inside you. "So wet f'me." He laughs against your lips, capturing your swollen mouth in a messy kiss yet again. He is merciless in pumping his thick long fingers into your wet cunt, enjoying every moan that leaves your lips as he fucks his fingers into you.

"Kei, Kei please-" you lose control of your tempo, your eyes rolling back as he lowers his mouth on your breast, playing with the other with his large hand. It feels too much for you to handle and yet it's too good for you to want him to stop. "Kei please- Ah" your back arches when his fingers brush against that spot.

He smiles against your breast in realization before aiming for it again, reveling in the way your cunt throbs around his fingers as he pumps into you, slick gushing all over his fingers.

"Good girl." He praises, fucking into you faster with his fingers. His lips latch onto your neck briefly, making you wirthe underneath his grasp, the coil in your belly tightening with every thrust. Your gazed over your eyes, your chest heaving with pleasure, your pussy clenching around his fingers, the way your nails dug into his shoulders, everything about this moment looked so good. "Gonna cum for me right? Gonna cum soon princess?"

"Yes Kei- please make me feel good-" you beg breathlessly, reaching down to touch your clit. "Kei make me cum please, please, please, please-"

You let out a loud moan as Keisuke dives his head to your breasts again, sucking and slurping on each nipple, alternating between them. His fingers don't relent in pumping into you faster and faster, sending you over the edge. Your body spasms underneath his touch, pussy throbbing and cumming all over his fingers while you give a broken cry of "thank you Kei" over and over again until your body slumps weakly on his, resting against him. You breathe heavily for a while, getting yourself back before kissing him softly.

Wordlessly, you move down his jaw, trailing kisses to his neck and chest, making your way to his sexy v-line. "Can I?" You ask softly, your hand ghosting over the bulge on his trousers.

It was his turn to be breathless, seeing your head in between his laps with your cute ass in the air has him aching in his pants.

"Yeah princess. Fuck me."

Your hands are like clock work with the way you pull down his sweats to reveal his pale erect cock, the thick, long, veiny appendage slapping against his abdomen, pre leaking from the dark pink tip. Your eyes glaze over in adoration as you circle your palm around it, giving it a tight squeeze. Keisuke is quick to shut his eyes in pleasure as you pump his shaft gently, giving kitten licks onto his slit for more stimulation, sending waves of ecstasy through his nerves. "Yeah, just like that (name), fuck-" he groans, as you pump him faster, your mouth now suctioning against his tip. "Oh god, please, faster- fuck"

You pick up the pace with your hand and mouth, pumping his dick with your fist and downing it bit by bit into your mouth, maintaining eye contact with his scrunched up face. He looks gorgeous like this, panting and moaning, his face flushed red with pleasure, hooded eyes gazing down on you, watching you take him as far you can go. "Oh yes, fuck princess- keep doing that, fuck, fuck, love you so much. Fuck"

You bob your head up and down his length, trying to relax your throat and take him in as much as you can, relishing the salty taste of his precum spread all over his cock. Your hand pumps against the rest of him while you hum and move your tongue around his thick length, making him shake with pleasure. "Oh fuck, look what you've done t-to me- shit" he grasps the sheet underneath him with large fingers, trying to keep himself grounded.

This was so much better than all the nights he fucked his fist thinking about you, especially after seeing your tits that day. The pretty girl that never seemed to meet his eyes anytime you and him were together, you had caught his attention the first time Emma had introduced you to the rest of them. The way you smiled, your sweet voice, everything about you screamed "adorable" and you were the kind of girl he's always dreamed of.

Or the only constant one.

Chifuyu had caught him daydreaming about you so many times, it was almost embarrassing. He would always tease Keisuke about liking you. "She's cute, isn't she? I didn't know you liked the shy ones. You should probably talk to her before some other guys try to steal her away, you know she's too hot to be single."

You were always brief with him, which made matters worse for Keisuke, especially when he sees you laughing with Mikey or Kazutora and shying away from him. Was he creepy when he looked at you? Does he smell? Or was he too loud? He tried to be gentle around you so as not to scare you, but you still skitted away from him.

Now he realizes that it was just your shyness and you actually do like him.

"I'm close-"

His head swam with sensations from your mouth, his belly coiling with all the tension building up. His thighs shook with intense pleasure as you bobbed your head down his big cock a few more times, before pulling out just in time for him to blow his load all over your breasts. His orgasm was intense, his groans of ecstasy bouncing off the walls as he came all over your tits, his cock twitching in your hands as you jerked him off completely until there was nothing left.

"Fuck, that felt so good." He whimpers out, still out of breath as you knelt upright to kiss him softly to which he reciprocated before pulling away. He grasps your arm and leads you straight to the bathroom to help you wash off. "You're such a good girl. My pretty girl. Let's get you cleaned before Chifuyu comes back, okay?"

"SO you avoided me because you didn't want to embarrass yourself and yet you were willing to flash me at the same time?"

You laid down next to Keisuke on his bed, his arms encased around your fully clothed body (save for your panties, those were his now. You couldn't say no to his puppy dog gaze), while he was also clothed as well. You should be embarrassed to tell him the full story, but at this point you don't have it in you to feel any form of shame after basically getting each other off.

"It wasn't like I wanted to flash you." You murmur, pressing your head against his broad chest and inhaling his scent. "It's just that me, Emma and Senju made such a ridiculous mixture that I was willing to risk getting arrested than having food poisoning. I was scared throughout you were going to think I'm some kind of pervert for doing that."

"Well…" he trails off, thinking about the whole ordeal. His cheek flushes pink as he remembers how he lost sleep after seeing your tits and went straight to the bathroom to masturbate. "I did jerk off to that, so we're both perverts"

"Keisuke Baji!"

"Hey! Don't blame me, your tits are cute as fuck." He defends himself, only cuddling you tighter. "I would have seen them earlier if you had just let me confess instead of always running away whenever I came near you."

"You were going to confess to me?" You sit up with your elbows, now looking at him face to face. "Wait, wait, wait, I don't understand?"

"I've been trying to tell you that I like you for the past one month but you kept running away and things got in the way." Keisuke confesses exasperatedly. "I tried Emma's advice and asked you to eat with me on my treat but then Mikey heard food and ruined everything by making it a general outing. Then I tried listening to Chifuyu and got you flowers on valentines day but you were allergic to the ones I got. Draken told me to be straightforward and you thought I meant that I loved you as a friend." You wince as the realization hits you hard like a truck. All those moments of him trying to ask you out would have been seen as romantic by a bystander, but you were too oblivious to realize that.

Emma's judgemental stares each time finally made sense.

"Sorry about that." You muttered, now collapsing on his chest again, snuggling up against him. "I must have given you mixed signals when I pulled that stunt huh."

He rests his chin on the top of your head, his hand rubbing circles around your back. "Let's forget about that and think about where you want our first date to be-"

"BAJI-KUN (NAME)'S MISSING. EMMA'S BEEN CALLING HER FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS AND…"

You both sit up at the sound of the door being slammed open by none other than Chifuyu, who looked like he had run all the way here in a hurry. His voice trails off the moment he sees you lying down on Baji's bed, before looking at Baji and then back at you.

"You've been here this whole time"

You awkwardly laugh at the deadness of his tone as he looks at you with an annoyed glare. "Sorry, we were quite busy." You murmur quietly, looking at your laps.

"The sheets on your bed look different, Baji-kun-"

"I fucked my girlfriend Chifuyu" Keisuke says bluntly, cutting him short. Blood drains from your head on hearing Keisuke calling you his girlfriend now. "Of course I'll change the sheets. I don't want us cuddling on a cum-stained…"

"I get it, I get it, I'll leave the two of you alone and tell Emma you guys are fine" he cries out, walking out of the dorm room and shutting the door behind him. You let out a sigh of relief as you both relax on the bed again, until Chifuyu bursts through the door again with wide eyes. "WAIT DID YOU JUST CALL (NAME) YOUR GIRLFRIEND-"

"CHIFUYU!"

network: @tokyometronetwork

taglist: @mikeys-bike-slut @pswrld , @obitohno , @anemptypuddingcup , @happygoluckyalexis , @mastermindenoshimaalicia , @haitaniwhor3 , @iheartamajiki , @pinksilk , @lostsomewhereinthegarden , @galactict3a , @bontensbabygirl , @linn-a-a , @leilalago , @ranscutedoll , @lovelygeniegirl1012 , @crackheadwithtoes , @mercyboluthecrazychicken , @haziel13, @reiners-milkbiddies , @jalepp , @dreamingofyourmoons , @aceredhairliberal , @ateezbabysitters , @eroscastle , @hvziers , @justanothernpcartist , @ranscutedoll

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x reader smut #baji smut #baji keisuke smut #baji x reader smut #keisuke baji x reader smut #tokyo revengers #baji x female reader #keisuke baji x reader #baji x you

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helluva-insomniac · 4 months

Text

“Poison” Deep Analysis

(Aka I had too much free time in study hall)

***Some of the questions are unanswered!!!***

Starting with the skulls:

This is one of the questions I have to leave unanswered! I can’t figure out if the skulls are just an omen of death and evil and stuff or if they have a deeper meaning in their design. One thing though I am sure of is any time in this video is when red skulls are used, it’s Valentino. Most red in the video is Valentino overall. (I’m also really liking the bisexual lighting lmao)

Right after the red skulls are used, there are skulls with an “Angel Dust” color palette. I have yet to figure out if these skulls truly represent Angel, but they are definitely used after the red ones to show that Valentino has authority over Angel Dust, which is why the red skulls are shown first.

Next, use of chains:

The chains are red, which agains means Valentino and the chains represent his control over Angel.

Glasses:

I can’t believe it took me so long to notice these!! Obviously Valentino being a dickhead.

Dancers:

The dancers here look exactly like the ones in the gifs released this year, so they are probably related.

(Sorry I couldn’t find a higher quality image)

And the ones in Poison:

I think this means the gif scene and this song are together, unless the dancers are shown in multiple scenes. (Return of the bisexual lighting!!)

The smoke:

The red streaks throughout are Valentino’s smoke, and are even further reinforcing the fact that Valentino has power over Angel.

How “Poison” is depicted:

Possibly one of my favorite points. The letters have another Angel Dust pallet to them, but the second “o” IS THE RED SKULL. This initially made me start this analysis. More of the “Val has power over Angel” motif.

“Every night I’m livin’ like there’s no tomorrow”

This lyric is really powerful along with the ones before it. Not only is Angel trapped, he feels it. This lyric is also very important because it changes later, to “Every night I’m wasted like there’s no tomorrow”, and that’s the first in this song (apart from the smoke) that says that Valentino is drugging Angel.

Angel streaks (??):

A lyric ends with pink streaks over the word that mimics Val’s smoke, but their pink color leaves me to believe that it represents Angel’s free will.

ALSO:

Going along with this, RIGHT after on the next word, Angel’s pink streaks are replaced with Val’s red smoke.

“Drownin’ in poison”:

At this point, Val’s smoke takes on a watery look. Once again showing the authority of Val over Angel and I’ve said that so many times and blah blah blah. But I think the style of it is really cool

“I’m fillin’ up my glass, but it’s always hollow”:

I really like the word choice here. But WHY DID THEY CHOOSE IT?? If it’s meant to be a “glass half full/half empty” thing, I’m assuming it’s Angel saying that his life is hollow and empty. In between this lyric and “full of poison”, the background turns from pink and on “full of poison” changes to red.

“I’m sick of the poison”:

During “I’m sick”, the screen is pink. On “of the poison” it turns red. Also Angel is expressing how he no longer wants to work for Valentino, but

“What’s the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself”

I don’t think this lyric from earlier in the song is Angel expressing self-pity, but he may feel like he deserves the treatment he gets. That, or he was drugged or truly believed it was a good decision when he signed his contract with Valentino.

Last frame:

I had to remove one of the images I was going to use above so I could get the point across here because holy shit. As much as I want to be positive and say that Angel will get out of his contract nice n’ easy, I really don’t think that’s going to happen. I think that there will be at least a really bad fight between Angel and Valentino, if in season one Angel is released from the contract at all. Another scenario could be that Angel only gets out if Val gets exterminated or a being with high power (someone with power like Charlie or Lucifer or even a very high-ranking Overlord) forces the contract to be broken and Angel to be free.

Also: notice how “tomorrow” is in white while the rest of the lyric is in black. It’s either Angel’s final shred of hope or he has truly given up all hope. The skull reinforces my point above of this not going well for Angel.

————————————————————————

Please comment/send asks if you have your own ideas!!

I think Blake Roman’s voice for Angel is amazing!! I especially like that it is a bit more masculine idk why :) but like holy fuck!! I love this song so much it’s right up there next to Addict

(End- the rest of this is just notes)

Also: there are so many points that if I missed a few I’m sorry lol! It’s so easy to do an analysis on this and I might do one again on other songs when the show comes out.

Also also: I know some of the lyrics and some of my points have other darker/more sexual meanings, but I don’t have the time or mental capacity to unpack that lmao

#hazbin hotel poison #hazbin hotel #angel dust #this took me forever #I love it so much tho #hazbin valentino #hazbin charlie #hazbin lucifer #hellaverse

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ambrossart · 2 years

Text

DANCING WITH MYSELF

— PART FOUR

summary: eddie crashes senior prom hoping to steal a dance with his dream girl, chrissy cunningham. instead, he spends the night stuck in the women’s restroom with you—her snarky, insecure best friend. ❖ pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader ❖ word count: 2,244 ❖ genre: fluff with some angst ❖ series status: complete ❖ warnings: no season 4 spoilers, some coarse language, body image issues, allusions to eating disorders, typical teenage insecurities, angst, jealousy, anxiety, secret crushes, childhood memories, happy ending, lots of 80s music one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

He doesn’t know my name… Seriously?

It bothered you more than you cared to admit, Eddie Munson not remembering your name. You’d known the guy since middle school. You talked to him on a near-daily basis… okay, “talking” might be a little inaccurate; mostly you just made snide comments about him under your breath. But he always heard you. You know he heard you because he would always get annoyed and glare at you, just like he did tonight.

Between your sophomore and senior year, you shared a total of eight classes together, and you spent half of them sitting directly behind him. Were you really that forgettable? You expected that kind of treatment from conceited jerks like Andy Hauffman and Clay Howard, but you didn’t think Eddie Munson was that self-absorbed.

Now you felt hurt and betrayed… not so unlike Julius Caesar.

Et tu, Eddie?

You must have been wearing your disappointment on your face because as soon as you rejoined the group, the first words out of Jason Carver’s mouth were, “What’s wrong? Hey, did that freak do something to you?”

“Hm? Oh… no, that’s not…” You saw Chrissy staring at you with a worried expression, so you tried to wave it off like it was nothing. “I’m fine, really.”

Jason put his hand on your shoulder, gave it a small squeeze. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

He frowned, unconvinced. “Well, you should be careful around that guy, okay? He’s dangerous.”

You scrunched up your face. “What? Eddie’s not dangerous. I mean, yeah, he looks all mean and scary, but he’s really just a big geek. It’s kind of hilarious, actually…” You trailed off, letting your eyes wander back toward the entrance, where Eddie Munson was standing around all helpless and miserable, looking like a sad little puppy with those big, round brown eyes…

For a second, you felt bad about how you treated him, but only for a second.

You clapped your hands together. “Anyway, shouldn’t we be heading in? Get this prom party started? If the future king and queen don’t make an appearance soon, the peasants will surely riot.”

Jason continued to watch Eddie with a suspicious glare. Then he gave a faint nod to his friends. “Come on, guys, let’s go,” and he went up the stairs first.

You and Chrissy walked side by side, a few steps behind everyone else.

“What did he want?” she whispered.

“Who?”

“You know who.”

“Oh… He just wanted my extra prom ticket.”

She gasped, delighted. “And…?”

“And… I flipped him off and told him to go to hell.”

Chrissy cringed. “Ugh, of course you did… You know, did it ever occur to you that this might be your Pretty in Pink moment? I mean, think about it: Chance gets food poisoning, so you’re stuck going to prom alone, and now who shows up but Eddie Munson, of all people? You don’t have a date. He doesn’t have a date. I dunno about you, but to me that sounds like quite the coincidence.” She smiled a wide, positively sunny smile.

You scoffed. “He didn’t want a date, Chris. He wanted my prom ticket. It’s not half as romantic as you’re making it out to be.”

“Well, maybe if you actually talked to him like a normal person…”

“Hey, I talk to him.”

“No, you tease him. I know you think that’s the same thing, but it’s not.”

“Well, it’s not my fault. The jokes are just there, floating all around me. I have to grab ‘em or else they’ll die for nothing. And he’s such an easy target… everything he does is so over the top. It’s like he’s begging me to mock him.”

“Well, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

“You know, I’ve never really understood that expression. Why are you trying to catch flies with either of those things? Just get a bug zapper and fry the suckers.” Chuckling, you went to take the next step, but Chrissy grabbed your elbow and yanked you back.

The gravity of her demeanor was startling.

“Look, you’re running out of time. Is this really how you wanna end your senior year?” She raised her eyebrows, hinting at knowledge only she possessed. “Think about it.” Then she went up, leaving you stranded on the step.

Well, that’s easy for you to say… You’re basically a goddess in this school.

You glanced back to where Eddie had been standing, but he was already gone.

School dances had always been a sore spot for you.

Before tonight, you had only attended one school dance: the Hawkins Middle School Snow Ball in 1981. The night started out like a dream. You put on your favorite dress. You wore your hair differently, spent hours in front of the mirror getting it just right. The gym was decorated like a silver and blue tinsel wonderland, and you were having the time of your life: eating cookies, drinking punch, laughing with Chrissy and all of your friends. Then the DJ played your favorite ABBA song, and you truly felt like the Dancing Queen. It was magical.

But then the first slow song came on over the speakers: “Endless Love” by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross, and you felt the atmosphere… shift. It snuck up behind you and caught you completely off guard. All around you, couples came together naturally, drawn to each other from across the gym like magnets. One after another, they paired up without a word, and you were left stranded.

Alone.

Chrissy, being the considerate friend she was, asked Preston Bailey to dance with you. Yeah, Preston was a real Prince Charming. He looked at you in your favorite dress and just shrugged; then his arms sort of flopped out like two wet noodles. It was absolutely humiliating.

For the sake of your pride, you said no to Preston Bailey and his pity dance. And despite your pride, you spent the rest of the night crying in the girls’ restroom.

You’d never felt so unwanted and unloved.

And now, while you stood atop the balcony overlooking the dance floor, while Alphaville’s “Forever Young” droned on and on in the background, while couples swayed with their arms lovingly wrapped around one another, you felt all those old, ugly emotions come flooding back.

God help me, you thought and began your slow descent into Hell.

You found your group’s table right away, beneath a sheer canopy of white and gold. It was draped with white linen, decorated with candles and roses, and set perfectly for six, everyone’s seat denoted by a pretty white place card. Jason Carver and Chrissy Cunningham, Andy Hauffman and Heather White, Chance Gallagher and…

You picked up Chance Gallagher’s card and ripped it in half twice, then tossed the pieces over your right shoulder.

Jason pulled Chrissy’s chair out for her, and she thanked him with a smile.

“I’m gonna go grab a slice of cake before it’s gone,” Jason said. “Do you want vanilla or chocolate?”

Chrissy said, “Oh, no cake for me, thank you. My stomach’s still a little upset from dinner.”

“Oh…” Jason reached out and tenderly stroked her cheek with his thumb. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s probably just, you know, from all the excitement.” But when she looked at you, her eyes suddenly became downcast.

Jason frowned. “Well, okay… Y/N, what about you?”

“Either one’s fine,” you said. “I don’t discriminate against cake.”

Jason snorted a laugh. “My kinda girl… All right, I’ll be back.”

Once Jason left, Chrissy said to you in a quiet voice, “I really am fine.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, but I know what you’re thinking… and I’m fine.”

“Okay…”

And now Frankie Goes to Hollywood was telling you both to “Relax.”

You picked up a paper ballot and a tiny pencil. “Just don’t let the pressure of tonight set you back, Chris. That’s all I’m gonna say.”

You drew an X next to Chrissy’s name.

A short while later, while you were picking at the crumbs from your cake, Chrissy and Jason left to go greet some more of their friends. That’s when you spotted a familiar face at one of the nearby tables. You got up and went over to him, plopping down in an empty chair.

“Hey, Jeff,” you said over the music. “You’re looking pretty snazzy tonight.”

Jeff turned his head and smiled. “Well, look who it is… What brave soul asked you to prom?”

“Chance Gallagher.” You looked away. “But he’s dead now.”

“What?”

“He got food poisoning… I tagged along with Chrissy and Jason.”

“Oh… a threesome, huh?” He grimaced. “Well, that’s brutal.”

“Yup.” You stole a bite of his cake. “Hey, where’s your date?”

“Tara? She’s over there with her friends. I forgot to make dinner reservations, so now she’s giving me the silent treatment… Apparently, I ruined her prom night by making her eat a hamburger.”

You shrugged. “What’s wrong with a hamburger?”

“Right…? See, we should’ve just gone to prom together.”

“Well, you didn’t ask me.” You went to take another bite of his cake, but Jeff pulled his plate away.

“Umm, excuse me,” he said with a lighthearted chuckle. “I’m still eating that, you know.”

You smiled sheepishly and put his fork down. “Sorry.”

Then you leaned back in your chair and looked around for a minute, searching for nobody in particular. “So Eddie the Genius forgot to buy a ticket, huh?”

“Oh, you saw him?”

“Yeah, he tried to bum one off me… Naturally, I refused.” You folded your arms over your chest and went quiet. “Would you believe he doesn’t know my name?”

“What?” Jeff drew away from you, dumbstruck. “No way… No, I refuse to believe that.”

“I promise you, he doesn’t. You should have seen the look on his face, Jeff. It was like I’d just asked him to recite the first seven digits of pi.”

“Really…?” He slumped back in his chair. “Damn!”

Out on the dance floor, the tempo picked up as the DJ drove into the next track: “Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol. That’s when Grant came bursting out of the crowd and collapsed against the table, red-faced and sweating, huffing and puffing with exhaustion.

“She’s trying to kill me,” Grant said. “Oh my god, she’s trying to kill me!”

Behind him, Megan Mulrooney was bopping away to the beat and singing at the top of her lungs: “If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance… And I’d be dancing with myself, ah, oh, oh-oh, yeah…”

You smiled at Grant. “What’s up, Lord of the Dance?”

Grant bent his head and wheezed. “Shut up, Y/N.” Then he grabbed Jeff’s cup of punch and gulped the whole thing down.

While he was drinking, Jeff said, “Hey, man, get a load of this: Eddie doesn’t remember Y/N’s name. Can you believe it?”

Grant wiped his mouth with a napkin, then dabbed his forehead, too. “Yeah, I’d believe that.”

“What?” you said. “Why?”

Grant laughed a deep, sinister laugh. “Oh, come on, you know why… The Shrieking Queen’s Catacombs? Does that ring any bells?”

“No,” you said, but Jeff gasped.

“Oh my god," he said. “‘The Bargain from Below!’”

Grant nodded. “‘The Bargain from Below.’”

“What?” You sat up in your chair, looked at Jeff, then Grant, then back to Jeff. “‘The Bargain from…’ Oh… Oh, come on, you can’t be serious. Guys, that was back in middle school! He can’t possibly still be mad about that.”

Jeff said, “No, he’s definitely still mad about that.”

“Why?”

“You kinda ruined the whole campaign.”

“Yeah, but how? All I did was accept the demon’s bargain.”

“You weren’t supposed to accept the demon’s bargain!”

“But he was offering me the ultimate power...”

Jeff and Grant bellowed with rage: “YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT THE ULTIMATE POWER! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RHETORICAL!”

You threw your hands up, not getting it at all. “Well, if it was rhetorical, then Scottie shouldn’t have let me accept it in the first place. But that’s not my fault. I was totally playing by the Dungeon Master’s rules.”

Jeff said in a small voice, “Yeah, but you didn’t have to kill Eddie…”

You smirked. “Well, the demon demanded a blood sacrifice.”

(What? You can’t do that! Scottie, tell her she can’t do that!)

(Actually, I think it adds an interesting dynamic to the story...)

(Dude, what the fuck? No, it doesn't! It totally ruins the story. Now she has the ultimate power and she's just gonna tank all the monsters!)

Jeff said, “Admit it, you did that on purpose.”

You held in a laugh. “Okay, fine, maybe I did… but I wasn’t expecting him to get as mad as he did. I was just trying to add some spice to the story, and he acted like I killed him in real life. Then he stormed out of Scottie’s basement and said I completely ruined D&D for him. Overdramatic much? Come on, it’s just a game…”

Jeff and Grant shook their heads in condemnation and your shoulders sank. “So, what, now you’re saying he’s totally blocked me from his memory? And all because of some stupid campaign that happened a million years ago? Please, that guy needs to get over himself.” You got up and stormed back to your table.

When you were out of earshot, Grant said, “I’m guessing we shouldn’t tell her about Eddie’s plan, huh?”

Jeff winced. “Not unless you have a death wish.”

____________________

PREV // CURRENT // NEXT

#eddie munson #stranger things #fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #chrissy cunningham #jason carver #chrissy x jason #eddie x chrissy #stranger things 4 #st4 #ambrossart #dancing with myself #dwm #fanfiction

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toskarin · 1 month

Text

I got a few questions about what was going on with SUGARBABYLOVE, so I started typing it out and then stopped and realised it'd be much funnier to do an extremely granular point-by-point explanation of nearly every single reference and influence in it

how serious am I being? either entirely shitposting or being completely transparent. intentionally left blank as an exercise in reader imagination. nightmare post below the break

all lovers make the same mistakes

BLUE SIDE

Sugar Baby Love, Les Blue Belles - the namesake of the piece, and also where I colourpicked the original background from

Komeiji Satori, Touhou Project - the Łucja on the left's personality is inspired by Satori

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - not actually referenced directly in Łucja's design, but a later reference makes this important to point out now

Litchi☆Hikari Club - I didn't realise it until after I finished, but I was 100% unconsciously focusing this image on hands because of L☆HC

Las dos Fridas - somewhat inherited imagery from the Komeijis, but I did have it in mind

Subarashiki Hibi ~Furenzoku Sonzai~ - the background, faintly visible at the top of the image, is based on a certain cool hideout. also note the Łucjas' eyes, for no particular reason

Thurible - the cross at the centre of the image rests on top of a thurible. because the top and bottom of the middle section are obscured, it rests mostly out of frame

Embryonic Rabbit and La Vierge au Lapin - the smoke enveloping the central cross is taking the shape of an embryonic rabbit, not quite fully developed, not quite corporeal

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - the X pins on Łucja's hat are actually hairpins that she moves up when wearing the hat. in this image, the second Łucja has swapped hers for straight pins

Komeiji Koishi, Touhou Project - the left Łucja's exhausted expression has been switched out for an empty smile. cute!

Altarpiece - the layout of the image is inspired by an altarpiece, albeit with certain sections obscured. accordingly, the piece centres on an (embryonic) rabbit wrapped around a cross

ORANGE SIDE

Berserk - it's kind of hard to include eclipse imagery without pulling from Berserk if you're poisoned. it goes without saying that I am poisoned.

Mushi, The Stalin - this album art was always really striking to me, so it was only natural to homage it. I'm actually a pretty big fan of The Stalin, so references to them show up in a (kind of embarrassing) amount of my creative output

Trash, The Stalin - the mass of gory hands is kind of self-explanatory here

De fornas likgaldrar, Bekëth Nexëhmü - this one requires extra explanation because I fucked up and got a story wrong. during the recording of an album, one member of this duo tried to strangle the other and they broke up the band for a while. the problem is that I misremembered, because it wasn't De fornas likgaldrar that got delayed, it was De dunkla herrarna. so this is an entirely aesthetic pull now.

Eastern Cross and Brazen Serpent - this one's kind of hard to explain if you don't know what Bartholomew's crosier looks like, but it's being gestured at with Ophian imagery as things get more chaotic towards the centre of the image

Gleb Sysoev - while the straps aren't visible in this image after colouring, the outfit both Łucjas are wearing is somewhere between a gakuran and the outfit Gleb often wears while performing with Ultar

Squigly - the snake wrapping around the right Łucja emerged after I got frustrated with how out-of-place her crab claw looked and opted not to include it. I still wanted one really confusing thing in the image, and I ended up landing on using Squigly's Parasite

That One Fucking Scene From Gokseong/The Wailing - another case of me misremembering something, except this time it was the context of the scene literally warping my memory of it. you know the one scene in the cave? I thought it included a much closer shot of the stranger's eyes. I might have mixed it up in my head with that one scene from Insidious, but oh well lol

Angel's curse whispered in the edge of despair, Envy - it got drawn over to the point where it's not entirely obvious, but the background behind Łucja was originally based on this album art

Melty Blood: Actress Again: Current Code Character Select - honestly kind of self-explanatory I hope

why'd you read all that

#doodles #you can read this as a case study in what happens when someone tries to include a few references and ADHD takes the wheel

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n--n · 20 days

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So can you elaborate on the lyrics of Poison being uninspired? I think a big problem with them is that there’s supposed to be a dramatic switch up in tone at the end, but it’s not actually big because the song has no dark subtext, the darkness is pure text. You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end.

Addict was something people could have actually comfortably danced to in the club, which makes it hit when the concept is flipped to the dark side of itself, and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life. Angel wasn’t happy before the ending of Poison so why is the song suddenly sad now like anything has changed?

But to me the lyrics seem unique enough. Like I can’t say any of them are cliches or platitudes. Though it kind of annoys me that the second verse like a regular pop song, but a real pop song has eight lines in verse one, this one has six and the Yeah yeah yeahs don’t count, so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete. That could be an example of it being uninspired.

Thank you for this ask it gives me an excuse to surgically open this song and really understand why it bothers me so much. Also it's 12 and I haven't rewatched it in a while so I might come back tomorrow and rewrite this so take it w a grain of salt sorry abt that.

In a nutshell- it's uninspired to me bc its such a nothingburger of a song. Like what do we get from it that we don't already know about Angel- either from the show itself, side content like the Addict video, or even from posts about him? Nothing. And lyrics aside, although the beat is good it's just a generic pop tune like Addict was a generic Kesha tune ya'know? Nothing about the melody particularly stood out to me as unique on its own or helping the storytelling. Even the fact that it's so upbeat in spite of the lyrics and visuals works against it when it gets towards the end and fails at trying to surprise you that it's sad.

"...so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete"

^^See thank you for articulating this bc I don't actually know much about how to articulate my thoughts on music, but this does help me make sense of why the actual tune just didn't grab me/felt off.

Also, going w/ the comparison to All You Wanna Do again- it's uninspired in that it also tries to do the thing where it makes a character use sexual innuendo to cope/describe the sa but falls so flat. Like,

"So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp

Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow"

Angel Dust does his dance as he sings this-and the images of him in his fetish gear/parts of the assault appear on screen, and he even poses in the positions it's implied he's being assaulted in. Like, was ALL of that necessary when the lyrics are already telling us directly what's happening to him??? Katherine made sex jokes abt her sa too, but we get to see her as her own character outside of the assaults and we learn so much about her pov, how it affected her entire life, etc. I feel like I wouldn't find it even that egregious if we had gotten to have scenes where the audience gets to see Angel be himself outside of the performative mask he wears+his suffering, but he was only used for cheap sex jokes when interacting w the others at the hotel. And now in his song, he redundantly sings abt his situation which we have already been shown:

"I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear Yeah, yeah, yeah"

We saw his conflict w Husk over how fake he is, saw him placate Val over the phone, and I can't recall if we saw him disassociate but regardless. The point is we know all this, it didn't need to be a song let alone a whole music video. If we left the scene after Val abused Angel in the backroom and made Charlie leave it would have been waaayyyyy more weighty and foreboding than this song/MV.

ALSO:

"You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end." + "...and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life."

^^^^THIS!! They really tried leaning into the tragedy of his situation but really just ended up making him a tool for whump instead. Addict was put together wayyy better musically, thematically and visually- it actually felt impactful when we're left with Angel Dust crying on the bed w his pet comforting him, whereas Poison leaving him on the ground left me feeling nothing but annoyance.

#Sorry if this is incoherent I'm tired but I love analyzing things asjdhfgasdkjh #While I'm at it I miss pilot Angel he was meaner and it would have made his arc more solid if they let his character breathe a bit #I love messy characters Angel has potential but it's constantly knee capped by HH being 8 eps + Angel being woobified and whump'd into bein #sympathetic instead of letting him be messy #HH critical #almost forgot to tag i don't need anyone coming for me for having Cartoon Opinions #hazbin hotel criticism

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life-winners-liveblog · 5 months

Note

*taps mic* Hello? Can you hear me? (Except Martyn lol imagine going from the best listener to someone who is deaf)

Hi I just got here and am being very entertained by you guys

Gri I would try to help you work through your trauma but all efforts have been futile so far so instead take this leather jacket and sunglasses (to match timmy!), a sun holographic picture, as well as these cookies 🍪 (<- those are cookies shortbread is a biscuit)

Scott, be careful try not to burn yourself out, take these paints and easels, (fake) coral jewellery, a star/night sky holographic picture, and some poppies

Pearl, I would give you something, but someone is very mean and won't let me, so I'm sending you some sunflowers, a puppy and some bones, a moon holographic picture, and a clock

*If possible, I yank on Martyn's hair* *a note then appears with the following writing* Martyn, I don’t even care about the fact that you betrayed your Scott, it made sense for you, was a good ending moment and he didn't even mind (was probably his favourite version of events that could have happened). No, I'm mad at you because of how apathetic you are. I'm sorry that you find it "easy" to move on, but others feeling emotions about their past is not weak. It's human. You are quite literally my second-least favourite person and the other person has the same illness as you but worse. You get a pufferfish, a (toy) axe, a cake, and a holographic picture that seems to change images. Sometimes it shows the sea, sometimes it shows trees, sometimes Mars, sometimes a meteor, sometimes a black hole (ooc: etc etc just all the different Martyn winner interpretations lol I'm not writing all of them)

Jim-jam! Nice to see you! You get poppies, a wooden doll, a frog and bucket, and a holographic picture of a canary

Scar! It's been a while since anyone has sent you anything buddy so you get 3 more llamas, 15 more camels, 19 more pandas and 81 more jellie cats. Oh and a holographic picture of cacti

DL!Scott you fucker you are my least favourite you apathetic son of a bitch. You get the poison effect

SL!Jimmy you get cake for being the in-between person, as well as a ghost plushie and a holographic picture of a doggo (if you look closely there's a canary)

To the rest of the losers, I'll give them some weighted blankets. One for everyone :)

-Saph <3

LimL!Jimmy: This is still not Judge Judy and Executioner... But thank you...

~~~~~~

Grian: ugh... I don't know how other me can confortably wear this all day.

LimL!Jimmy: Grian why are you dressed like me?!?! Do this mean you want to join the Bad Boys??

Grian: Uhhhhh... not really? The whispers -

LimL!Jimmy: Why not?!? You could be an honorary Bad Boy!!!

Grian: ... Fine, whatever.

LimL!Jimmy: Yeah yeah yeah!

~~~~~

Pearl: Ooooh nice! Let's see, how does this holographic thing work?

Scott: Oh they sent me one of those as well! I think... you do it like... this!

Pearl: Mansplaining moment.

Scott: What!?!? I was just... you asked...and I...

Pearl: Calm down Scott, it was just a joke... why are you so jittery.

Scott: ...Maybe the whispers are right, I do need to relax a little.

~~~~~

Martyn: Well screw you too I guess, that hurt... and I never said that feeling about the past is weak, what I find weak is letting said emotions submerge you completely like Grian does, now I have seen how he was, I saw his passion but when I look at him now I see none of that, he is not weak because he misses Scar, who cares about that, he is weak because he wallows in his own self pity and misery constantly... He couldn't have done anything differently and he can't go back to change anything so why does he insist on acting like a wet wipe.

#asks #trafficblr #traffic series #grian #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #martyn inthelittlewood #author answers #/I am afraid i can't allow you to poison me/#/And I also remember an oath between us that this behavior would stop/#/Now now... I'll let it go this once... It would be cruel to punish you for something under no ones control... like stupidity/#//Uh//#//Scott sure is a prick isn't he?//#//Well It's going to take a while to deliver all this blankets//#/Then go/

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cerealandchoccymilk · 11 months

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Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #02

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Continuation of my Trigun annotation for the book club. I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being gay about the characters <3 always important)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And the rest is under the cut. read my notes boy!!

[link for if the images aren't in horizontal rows]

The second page has an error - 悪夢 was probably misread as 悪魔 ("happen" and "awaken" are also the same kanji). It should be "Then, the nightmare occurred." It's really cool that this still works really well considering...y'know (not saying for the first-time readers ;) )

I just love how that drawing of Vash is so cool and serious...

...and then you turn the page and he's in the most pathetic cunty pussy-out pose you've ever seen. Easily one of my favorite panels. Also made a math question for funsies. sorry to anyone who got high school flashbacks, but I absolutely loved trigonometry lmao. I could do this forever.

A little pun(?) that may or may not be intentional - In Japanese, someone with a bounty on their head is called 賞金首, lit. "bounty neck" ("neck" sometimes signifies the entire head). The locals call out for the bounty-neck right as Vash hurt his neck lol

I love how creepy Vash moves sometimes. absolute cryptid

This is entirely a Japanese-only detail, but I really loved how Vash said バヤイ (bayai) in the sobbing in French line, because my mom also says that instead of 場合 (baai) when she's being silly lmao. Also, it's notable that in Japanese, Vash says フランセ語 ("Francé-go," where "go" is the suffix for languages) which may be either another miles->iles/double-dollar situation, or just him speaking silly like バヤイ.

Also, the line after that would more accurately be "How am I supposed to deal with all these locals?"

Here, the "Really?" is actually Meryl saying something like "I'll give you a hint."

Meryl tends to be the one responsible for the braincell in fanworks but it's important to remember that she absolutely is dumb too (affectionate).

I'm so glad I wrote that reminder about Meryl's speech, but I don't think I'll be able to do it justice here when I have so much more to talk about. I'll have to write another post later, so I'll link it when it's done. The gist is that she talks like a stereotypical high-class anime girl, and the trope is from how a similar demographic in Meiji-era Japan actually spoke.

The boy's pussy faces the world yet again. I love all the faces he makes!! look at him!!!!!!!!!!! he's so cute

The text on the board here was very messy and squished, but it says something like "Vash the Stampede Absolute Capture Task Force Headquarters." Honestly don't know how to fit all that into the board though so uh good luck on that for 2.0... Also dear god Vash has so much energy... He's just been running for 3 hours straight...!!

Fun fact: the equivalent idiom to "fight fire with fire" in Japanese is "use poison on poison."

Love how Nebraska is just like "no we didn't jailbreak, we just let ourselves out :/"

Translation error for Milly and the chairman - Milly is saying "Why do things keep getting worse and worse!?" and the chairman is mumbling "What's the deal with you two..."

Showing some love for his pretty pretty eyes..........(gives him so many smooches in my head)("i can imagine anything" image)(can't add it because i reached the 30 image limit)

The "Freeze!" is actually untranslated, just re-typed to match the surrounding font. Also, that panel is the first time Vash's antennae is shown bent!! It goes back up immediately after that though.

Fun fact #2. Vash says ara ara. if you even care.

This line never fails to hit me hard. They're all desperate mothers and sisters, and they're taking on the bad role because nothing's more important than their dear children. (reminds me of a certain someone...)

I've seen someone mention this before, but Trimax definitely adjusted the number of plants. Fifty!?!? Also, in Japanese, "plants" and "died" were in quotations.

I love the gun pull in the right panel. Vash obviously definitely doesn't intend on shooting, but is rather showing off his skill and resolve as an intimidation tactic to throw the girls off-guard.

God this entire spread is just so RAW.... (here's the post that's mentioned in blue. it just reminded me)

Some more hypes and sillies. The impact that "KISS MY ASS!!" had on my first read was phenomenal!! It's so silly!! and cool!!!

And then there's this!! Another favorite part of mine. Vash's antennae are bent again! They kind of alternate between straight and bent from here.

The green writing about the onomatopoea are more of just a translation note rather than a suggestion. I can't think of any good beckoning noises in English :V

And finally, Milly calls "Mr. Bomb" "Bomb-kun" in Japanese which I think yall would enjoy lol. And happy strangling her saturday tuesday.

The Japanese version of the annotations are in the reblogs, if anyone wants them.

I have Chapter #03 mostly ready, so I'll probably post it tomorrow morning and try to speedrun the rest of the chapters because this is taking longer than I expected!! God there's just so much to say!! (Also gotta remember to write about Meryl's speech!!)

And thank yall so much for the feedback on the Chapters #00-01 post!! I didn't know so many people were interested in such small details!! Love (and peace) yall 🫶🤞

#bing bing bauuuu bam bam bada bam baba bom bom bauuuuuuuuu (wh- wh- wh- wh- what's going on? on?) du du dududu dudu du du dududu d #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga

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