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yellowocaballero · 4 months

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man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍

YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.

I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,

and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.

It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.

But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?

That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.

Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.

This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.

Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.

I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!

#my writing #my asks #you didnt directly ask about any of this but ive been itching to say it so love and peace <3 #i think its also worth mentioning that sometimes PTSD uh DOES make you hateful and angry and mean #and that it's. normal? expected? it's not inherently bad rep to show a character w/PTSD and anger issues?#like ppl will write a character w/PTSD but only if they get panic attacks and are sad :(#you know. sympathetic people.#i do think connecting violence with psychosis is bad rep but uh it's EXTREMELY hard to argue his ptsd #i felt this same way about Vash Trigun.#when people wrote Vash as GENUINELY #UNIRONICALLY #the person he pretended to be #it misses the point. to me it demonstrates a lack of interest in the character #you can project onto the self-esteem and depression so that's all the character is #and that doesn't leave room for the parts that are uncomfortable so those parts just don't exist #LIKE NOT A CRIME BUT.#JUST BORING?#BAD WRITING?#ok and to me. on the internet. being boring is the greatest crime of all.#fe3h #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

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mjulmjul · 1 year

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Katya / Goncharov

#yeah ik ive posted them before sorry but i REALLY like how these look together #martin scorsese #goncharov #artists on tumblr #illustration #unreality #<— posters for a ‘movie’ that doesn’t actually exist but is a tumblr meme in which everyone pretends it does&makes content for it #fascinating how we’re immediately personable w katya by knowing her first name while only knowing goncharov’s surname keeps us at a distanc #combined with him being the only major character to go by a moniker it emphasizes just how much he's been consumed by the role he plays #who is goncharov? does he know and keep it secret? or has he too lost his sense of identity?#it's reflected in these posters as we SEE katya but goncharov remains elusive - yet clearly time is running out for them both #lakjdklf ok im done now i never post meta on here so im having fun with the fictional movie #btw I updated both of the illustrations compared to the original posts but will leave those as they were #woudl be cool if my post showed up. u can do it tumblr

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bixels · 6 months

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Always an experience watching the leftism leave FNAF fans when someone mentions that Scott Cawthon financially backed fascist politicians.

The switch from posting hardline leftist tweets about boycotts and signal boosts and critical takedowns of politicians and celebrities to ‘ohhh, well. everyone makes mistakes. who can blame him, listen he. he donated money to gay charities too. that makes it ok! a millionaire in his forties is allowed to have political beliefs. does it even matter? just let it go!’ is whiplash inducing. The antivaxxer celebrities have got to go, but this one horror dev who quietly handed wads of cash to antivax lawmakers? He’s chill, he can stay.

The charity thing is so funny too because suddenly utilitarian positive-negative point counting is the way to go. Maybe an abacus would help calculate the net good of donating to the Trevor Project minus donating thousands of dollars to Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. -10 points if I push a kid in a lake but +11 points if I help an old lady across the street, so I’m chill. You can’t judge me. Hey, maybe. Just don’t push a kid in the lake period. How fucking low is the bar when we’re excusing maxing out the possible dollar amount of donations to Mitch fucking McConnell. That should be like. Default you’re a bad person.

#delete later #personal #not art #rant #you can still be a fan of fnaf 100% but god you’re not obligated to defend its creator #don’t pretend like Scott is cool #“’Scott likes gay people he only voted for trump for his fiscal and defense policies in defendi america from terrorists!’#kid. that’s not good either.#fiscal conservatism kills people too.#the whole thing exposes how weak some leftists are to the image of the ‘well-mannered right wing republican.’ the type who would #respectfully disagree with your right to exist with a kind top of the hat #‘as long as you silently hate me and force a nice smile while shaking my hand it’s ok’#this is why jk Rowling is hated while Scott gets a free pass. just have to hide your hate well enough and liberals will excuse you ig

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ryllen · 4 months

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x

#reading this meme gives me comfort #twisted wonderland #twst #this is just what i think #who would u swap and where #honestly jack is probably the first and second tier once he gets comfortable with you #like it is so kind and warm it actually makes u forget ur woes #kalim and ace are just the tight huggers that's why they are on the top list #they squish u and that serotonin out #u're just little pouch of serotonin in their hands #trey is between giving u awkward back pat or hugging you #but i like to think even tho he's just pretending his hug is very comforting #deuce is just bewildered confused and flustered that's why he doesn't return the hug immediately #but he sure wouldn't want to let go afterwards #cater might seem like he would give a good hug but i imagine his true self be like o . o and then switch to ^ - ^ immediately after #vil is just a kind person in my eyes #he is mature and calm and nurturing if he wants to #i alter the meme wording by a bit to fit my perception more #if u put the birthday boy icons together it makes a heart omg #ruggie is honestly confusing me #he would probably only hug wholeheartedly if money is on the line #but i think he hugs his family and the kids at the slum very lovingly #idia is probably between the third and fourth tier but maybe he leans more towards hugging back than patting on the back #patting in the back is probably too cool for him #floyd'd examine u first and giving the how dare u touch me look menancingly but then be like ehe bcs it's little shrimpy i'll forgive u~

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newvision · 5 months

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Will answering “part of me will always want to” when Jack asks him if he’ll slip away with Hannibal is actually an insane thing to say cause at any other point during the show before that episode Jack would not have wanted Will to get this close to Hannibal. But now he needs him to!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he is forced to accept the part of Will that is fascinated by the very reason Hannibal is supposed to go to prison, his cruelty & violence, and therefore also that part of Hannibal. Will might as well have said “I wanna eat people with this guy and that’s the very reason why you need me to help you”. And the next scene is him being petty and jealous towards Hannibal’s wife. How did Jack not quit after one single day of working this case

#will is soooo cunty in dolce idc #idk he just stopped giving a fuck about pretending not to be obsessed with Hannibal #and Jack being forced to listen to it lmao imagine almooooost catching the killer you’ve worked years to catch and the only person who #might succeed is like haha love this guy soooo much #the man that you are Jack Crawford #the patience he has is truly impressive #emmys thoughts on Hannibal #hannibal #nbc Hannibal #hannigram #will Graham #hannibal Lecter

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emdeerm · 7 months

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Past saves Present

Og fic ig

In some cultures, it is believed that children are able to remember bits of their past lives till the ages of 3-5.

For Danny, the opposite was true. He got his memories at exactly the second he turned 5.

And he had to promptly dodge the blade of the boy in front of him.

His brother, his mind supplied. His twin.

Danny stopped swinging his own sword, focusing on dodging and avoiding the fate of being a slashed pillow. His new/earned skills especially helped with that greatly as his head was seriously trying to re-kill him.

"I yield," he rasped as he jumped away from his brother and looked at their Mother. "My head hurts, Mother," he added pitifully.

His twin looked slightly concerned for a second, before schooling his face in a way Grandfather has been teaching them.

"Tch." But he did put away the blade before their Mother, said a word.

"Dynial, Damian, you are not to stop until you have received permission in the future."

The boys nodded. Mother took their hands and led them out of the private training ground back to their rooms.

Danny spent the rest of the day lying down, slightly feverish and miserable as his brain was processing and acclimating the new set of memories. Clockwork said it wouldn't be too bad. We'll, the clock bustard has been wrong. It fucking sucked.

His brother was hovering. Their Mother was always around, not letting anyone into their space. Ra's is being kept in the dark.

A peaceful rest was all he needed for his brain to finish sorting out new information. And Danny was stuck in a bit of a dilemma.

You see, Damian and Dynial love their Mother, strive to be the best Demon Twins, and see nothing wrong with their life so far.

Their hands are still clean.

Danny, on the other hand, has many MANY choice words for his current situation and one Clock Ghost.

You want to try reincarnation ONE time! No wonder others don't really do that.

-------

Their days continued like they did before he got his memory back. It wasn't hard to be Dynial when he actually was him.

The nights were filled with planning. And a personally assigned mission: get Damian to be interested in normal things.

Stars weren't much of a hit. Uncultured child.

Animals were a little intriguing.

Simple art and craft projects seemed to hit the spot.

Keeping their little meetings and activities hidden wasn't as hard as one would think. Mother still had her missions. The two of them were often left alone in their wing of the place, the supervisors being allowed only till the doors. Ra's was the Head. He didn't check in on them all the time. The two of them weren't slacking in their training either and were considered prodigies.

Danny wanted out of this Cult.

A many months after feeding different information, facts, crafts and so on to his brother, Damian was curious. He was suspicious about the sudden knowledge but he was also 5. He only had to reference the Lazarus Pit (unfiltered and dirty ectoplasm? Seriously? Clockwork, you can't expect him to work on his vocation) once to convince the child.

They snooped around and found out that they had a father out in the world.

Danny got a plan.

It was super stupid. And dangerous as hell. As well as literally (half)suicidal. But he felt it in his chest and knew he'd succeed.

His Core was here. But it was sleeping. And if he wanted to be safe and away from here, he needed to start it up again.

The big pool of Ecto would do just fine. His Core would filter out the impurities.

He didn't want to stay here until his hands no longer protected. He didn't want such life for his brother either.

---

Damian infiltrated the Lazarus Room just in time to see his brother jump into the Pit.

He ran to the edge.

He was sinking.

The green was too bright. The smell around them was too much. His ears rang.

He reached towards the water, eyes unseeing and hands numb. His heartbeat was too loud.

His brother's wasn't loud enough.

"Don't touch the puddles, Dami, you'll get sick," a gentle, cold hand stopped him from diving.

The child looked up. His brother was floating above the water. He looked all wrong. But he was there.

"I didn't want you to see this part..." his brother laughed awkwardly as he landed next to him. A bright ring of light blinded Damian for a second.

And his brother was back.

-----

Getting used to his powers again felt nice but tedious. Soothing his twin was heartbreaking. He didn't think this through hard enough.

Their Mother was none the wiser to the fact that one of her children died and came back. Nore was she privy to the escape being planned by both.

On one moonless night, when Mother wasn't there, the shift was changing and the world was asleep; two boys phased through the walls and flew. Small bags of stuff were strapped onto them as they traveled to their father.

Mother's notes called him Bruce Wayne, Batman, Beloved and Detective.

It wasn't hard to find him when they arrived.

Though, Danny didn't expect a furless furry and a pantless child to be their new family.

Can he ever get a normal Family???

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thereisabearonmyceiling · 23 days

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first (bussiness) meeting

#honkai star rail #hsr fanart #hsr topaz #hsr aventurine #dr ratio #ratiorine #i don't care if this contradicts canon in any way i just did it cause funny #also cause i wanted to draw topaz and ratio bitching #my personal headcanon is she talks shit about her coworkers to him #and he pretends not to care but he's actually very invested #lumi's swag art

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egophiliac · 1 year

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OH YEAH HIS TAIL ALSO LIGHTS UP

here's a bunch of quick reactions to some of the smaller bits, while I work on bigger things for the bigger bits and obsess over Silver's breakdown some more. don't be fooled -- this is only the beginning of my descent into pure diasomnia hell.

(I also need to figure out how to draw OB Mal better)

#art #long post #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #ugggh sorry i really do need to figure out ob mal i have not managed a decent one yet #anyway saving my feelings for later #i have tried a couple of times to write something about how blatant lilia is #about being an ancient fae pretend to be a high schooler in order to keep an eye on his idiot dragon son #but every time i remember that this is a universe in which rook exists and is a real person that the characters know #and it's like. oh yeah. lilia isn't anywhere near the weirdest person they know.#they aren't exactly secretive about fae aging differently either #i assumed he told everyone he was literally 18 because he thought it would be funny #🤷#drink your juice everyone

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jebblinks · 11 months

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Ok but imagine the ffm monkeys pulling the same stunt they did in the s4 special but on Wukong this time

(Click for clearness on this one)

#Mk didnt seem too bothered by it #but Wukong would def take it personal #and he would pretend like it doesnt bother him at first #but again those are HIS monkeys #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk monkey king #lmk sun wukong #lmk six eared macaque #lmk macaque #bblinks art

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mumbledramblings · 5 months

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i had a vision from god the other night

anyway i love how some of wolfwood's first character-establishing scenes in both animes is him trying to scam people

#trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun 98 #tri98 #trigun fanart #nicholas d wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #mid draws #idk if anyone has done this yet #had a full on eureka moment earlier about how wolfwood's cover for being a gung-ho gun isn't being a priest #it's being a con artist pretending to be a priest #like it is SO obvious he isn't a real priest/undertaker that people just immediately think “oh this guy is just a con artist”#and they don't think any further #so the reveal of “oh hey i'm actually part of an anti-human terrorist organization (though not necessarily willingly)” is an actual surpris #because you think he's just a con man who's really bad at his job #i feel like the last person to come to this conclusion 😶#genuine character analysis? in MY memes? it's more likely than you think

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fauvester · 6 months

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little moshang fan kid <3

spoiled, aloof, a bit of a bitch, terminally 'weak constitution'-ed, lowkey lazy, prefers reading his dailies in the office and pretending to do paperwork to fighting

#svsss #moshang #he DOES grow up and becomes a respectable demon prince eventually. but hes a cold disinterested spoiled brat as a teen #shang qinghua rides his ass because he KNOWS that hes slacking on the paperwork that hes pretending to do #but unfortunately thats His Baby and he cant be TOO strict (this attitude not extended towards binghe... sad)#crawling out of mirrors like The Grunge to scare the transmigrated soul out of uncle sqq #he got his love of shiny shiny jangly accessories from aunt sha hualing #when he was a baby everyone in court was trying to poison him for political reasons #but didnt realize that since hes only half demon full demon poisons wont kill him #so for years moshang just thought their kid had like. horrible IBS. lack toast and tolerance that almost kills you #and even now as a young man hes like.... ah... sadly my body is too frail to go on ceremonial monster hunts with father..#my greatest love language for a series..... making fankids #his fighting style is Very elegantly avoiding all attacks. poor MBJ like JUST STAND TALL AND TAKE A HIT LIKE A FUTURE DEMON KING #his poor firstborn son like Why would I do that. getting beaten up is very unpleasant. i would personally like to avoid that

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gender-euphowrya · 5 months

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"they" is a pronoun that has the same rules as any other it's not a 'get out of misgendering jail free' card yes it's gender neutral no it doesn't mean you're allowed to use it to refer to someone you KNOW doesn't use that pronoun

#they is used if a) the person wants you to use that b) you Do Not know what the person wants you to use #if someone's like ''hey i go by she/her'' and you're like Ok. They :) congrats that's misgendering !#if you know someone goes by she and you call that person 'he' everyone would fucking agree that's misgendering #why should saying 'they' be any different ?#this goes fucking triple for neopronouns btw #it's not a ''i can't be bothered to learn your actual pronouns'' card either #someone goes by idk ze/zir and you use they/them that's Still misgendering it's literally not hard to understand #underlines the 'if you KNOW what pronouns the person wants you to use' part in red #because that seems to be the bit most people get confused about or at least pretend to in bad faith

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snekdood · 6 months

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so uh

for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it

2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...

3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............

#why in tf do you think they care that much about getting your money rn and not before in any other war?#does it. mayhaps. have something to do w jewish people being involved now?#our tax dollars go to the govt regardless and has been for years and we already have an obscene amount of funding for military shit #preeetty sure they're not concerned about getting a couple hundred tumblr users money...#and also pretty sure one could only believe that if they're paranoid about jewish ppl.................#hard not to put two and two together and figure out op is prolly antisemitic and hopefully they just dont realize it #i say hopefully they dont realize it bc thats better than someone who knows and is pretending to be a leftist still.#if anything this pause happened bc its thanksgiving and biden doesnt wanna think about it over the holidays. thats p much it.#thats the only amount of conspiracy theory im willing to believe in this situation lmao.#but that ^ still assumes that biden has some sort of control over this that he really doesnt #and i dont think netanyahu cares that much about thanksgiving tbr...#it sounds more like to me that op is seeing this from a very american centric pov and assumes everyone celebrates thanksgiving #or cares enough about it to remember the dates.... i dont think this is as planned as op is making it out to be and any insinuation #that it IS planned sounds like conspiracy theory talk to me personally. i dont think biden is hittin netanyahu up and going #'hey thursday is thanksgiving and would be the perfect time to pause so we can (((get peoples money))) out of them #asiftheUSdoesnthaveplentyalready' like i just really dont think that convo is happening lmao.

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elfcollector · 2 months

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I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

#gamingnetwork #vgedit #videogameedit #gamingedit #dailygaming #gameplaydaily #bg3edit #bg3 #bgedit #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion ancunin #:(#i think this scene is so interesting and speaks to why i get so annoyed by the 'any portrayal of astarion #as having an degree of a conscience or goodness in him is stupid and woobifying. hes chaotic evil and thats IT' thing #the grief and guilt. the way he tries to talk himself into it. the way he removes HIS OWN autonomy to do it. pretends theres no other choic #esp in the context of other moments where he preens when hes called good. he LIKES being smth other than what cazador made him #but hes so SCARED. he spends this dialogue talking himself into killing them and he HAS to talk himself into it BECAUSE this kind of evil #isnt easy to him despite it all. theres still scraps of a conscience there yknow? and he hides it from himself by pretending hes less free #astarion is fun BECAUSE hes weird and contradictory and a bad person with the capacity 4 good. BECAUSE he doesnt know what he actually want #also i love the idea of him in this moment rly thinking abt the player....like whether theyre friends or romances #a player whos been really kind and loving to him...kept him safe....trusted him....#thinking about how they let their guard down for him and how in his old life THIS would have been the life #hed been damning them to....years and centuries in a tiny cage somehow even worse than his

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midnightcrows · 9 months

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His nose was broken, and his lips and chin were wet with gore. There was blood in his eyes and under his hair, and his expression was one of cold and perfect murder. It was as though losing the rapier had snapped some invisible shackle. He didn't even look angry; he looked like an ending given human form.

#I know the expression is angry but let’s pretend this is taking some of the coming off the coffin like the emperors wrath energy #after doing 4 of these I actually got to thinking about Hey what was Nonius like as a person I wonder #and now I need to do a nice normal piece of him like drinking tea or smth #who’s the man behind the myth like #did he have hobbies #did he ever have a collection of objects or plants #matthias nonius #fanart #harrow the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth #the locked tomb #my art #tlt #tlt fanart #harrow the ninth fanart #cw blood #the locked tomb spoilers

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twopercentboy · 13 days

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I'm a firm believer that Edwin does NOT have internalized homophobia ☝️ repressed his sexuality? sure, obviously. but internalized hatred for himself? NO!!!

My man immediately confessed his love to Charles once he realized what his feelings were. He was going to even earlier but literally got dragged to Hell in the middle of it !!! He did not question the validity of his feelings and he definitely didn't question whether he was allowed to feel them !!!

Edwin has a lot of complexities when it comes to dealing with and acknowledging his emotions, but this is not one of them. Charles is not one of them.

#i think when Edwin was alive they just didnt talk about queer ppl at all #pretended they didnt exist so instead of hating himself he just Didnt Know #also firm believer that when it comes to Charles its not complicated or questionable #charles is the only thing *person* edwin is sure about yk and i think that applies to everything related to charles #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #painland #payneland #paineland #my.txt #me.txt #i hope im making sense LMAO #also this is brought to you by so many fics giving edwin internalized homophobia #like i get it he's stoic and seems like he would but hes NOT !! and i think thats beautiful and SO IMPORTANT !!!!

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