#pretended they didnt exist so instead of hating himself he just Didnt Know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

minimujina · 7 months

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ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ

scara drabble turned emotional, not clickbait🔥had to put a readmore cause it got long, i didnt fkn plan this

thinking violently about taking care of scara’s wounds even though he’s not human and they’re literally going to fix themselves (let’s just. go with that. since idk how his body actually works LMFAOO). and he doesn’t even have the heart to tell you the first time you see him lightly injured—he tries to, really, but he can hardly get a word in with how firmly you insist on patching him up. he can’t find it in himself to interject with the real reason he’d be fine without your help, because good god you’re just so stubborn—and normally he wouldn’t give a lick about something as trivial as the feelings of a sentimental human, but there’s a part of him that finds it.. sweet, the way you care so much. even though it’s actually for no reason. even though this “purpose” you’ve found—following him around to take care of him when he gets hurt—is actually pointless in a way. even though he could spare both you and him extra work by telling you.

he just cant find it in himself to be the one to deflate you. he could deflate anyone, anyone at all—but not you. never you. somehow, you’re special. there is something about you that makes insults catch in his throat and ugly comments die before they even become a wisp of a thought.

your earnest gaze as you rush for him when his porcelain skin has been blemished—that, in particular, feels strangely familiar to him, but he does not know why. and your unabashed naivety irks him in a way, but it’s also one of the sole reasons he could not possibly ruin the moments between you two where you are touching him so gently and so lovingly, the only sounds being being the rustling of bandages and the chirping of insects, his leg bouncing violently and stomach playing jumprope at the feeling of your soft fingers ghosting over his artificial skin and his artificial wounds. your palms are sweaty as you work and your breathing is a bit loud, but he could not possibly care about anything less. things that would piss him off if done by anyone else—existing, for example, or any of the former mentioned “imperfections”—could pass very easily if the person was you.

and then there’s the selfish part of him, the part that can’t tell you because he would then be forced to forfeit those special moments of intimacy he had not experienced the likes of since his first breath of life. he wants you so selfishly; he sees no reason to squish your good, false faith while losing you in the process. that’s just a lose-lose scenario. what would he gain in return—a real relationship? pah. with relationships come suffering, and the fact that it is all entirely out of his control makes his empty chest convulse a bit.

he figured it’s alright to live a little white, harmless lie. it meant he could be close to you, it meant he could keep you around without being blatantly obvious about his affection (read: he could beat around the bush for as long as possible). he could avoid his feelings while still reaping the benefit of your presence.

but oh, trust me, it will certainly bite him in the ass eventually. he can’t run forever. you’ll get tired; you’ll think he’s sick of you. that he hates you. that he doesn’t want you around—he doesn’t need you.

and it’s true, actually, that he doesn’t need you.

however, there is a point to be made about relationships out of need versus relationships out of choice.

wouldn’t it be such a beautiful thing for him to finally stop pretending he only has you around because of necessity? if he makes it known that no, this is a choice that i am making—i am choosing to love you—his chest will be left wide open in all its empty glory, where there is no heart, but instead a vulnerable child. he’d be left with nothing but the hope that you will respond with grace, and that terrifies him.

and no, he is certainly not sick of you, nor does he hate you. he wants nothing more than you, than your presence. he wants everything to do with you. he wants you more than anything he’s ever wanted in his miserable, pathetic life, if it could even be called a life.

but does he need you? no.

and you know what’s so fascinating? he has not needed you all this time, and yet he’s kept you around. isn’t that interesting?

he chose you from the beginning with the guise of necessity. he pretended that it was because he needed it, needed you, needed your help—because somehow the idea that it was a choice made entirely of his own volition, for literally no reason other than he liked you, is absolutely mortifying. the last time he made such a choice, it destroyed him.

how is he supposed to justify keeping you around if he doesn’t even have a reason for it other than the butterflies in his artificial stomach? how can he justify it with his mere feelings?

his feelings make him weak. his feelings are the reason he was cast away in the first place.

it’s so much easier to pretend he’s detached. but detachment means he will only ever feel your artificial touch on his artificial skin, and nothing more. your well-intentioned hands on his fake skin, on his fake wounds. the porcelain cracks are spreading quickly, and he will do nothing about it.

the saddest part about all of it is the fact that he thinks he has to justify his feelings to anyone at all. he does not know what it means to do anything without immediately thinking about how to explain it should someone question him.

what he needs is not you. what he needs is to stop treating you like you’re a ghost from his past who will echo the aches and pains of all the people who hurt him. he can choose you in his mind, but if he holds you at an arm’s distance and does nothing about that choice, it will then mean nothing.

what he needs is to stop wishing he could have you without exposing himself in the process.

if he is to have you, he will be vulnerable with you. there is no choice in that matter. but what he does not understand is that such vulnerability is not dangerous if it’s you he’s with.

so that’s the one thing that you can do to help him—you must not only tell him, but show him, that you are not going to leave him at the drop of a hat if he is anything more than apathetic. that’s it. your only job will be to show him you are safe. that’s all you can do.

and then you must wait for him to believe you.

it’s not your job to fix him. and he can’t sit around and wait for someone to be his savior, the yin to his yang, the angel who will purify his sin. you cannot be any of that. nobody can.

but what you can be is his safe place, his heart, his joy, his lover. you can be—you are—the only one who is able to receive his angst and transform it into understanding. you can choose to love him, not because you need him, but because you want him, amidst all of his angst and suffering.

so that’s his job—realizing it’s possible that you could ever choose him, not of need, but of want, despite everything about him that is less than desirable. despite how difficult it will be. he already knows he’s chosen you, that’s not the hard part—he doesn’t have difficulty believing the lovability of others. the hard part is believing the lovability of himself.

and even when he finally accepts that you want him, even after he tells you the reason he does not need you to fix his injuries, you are still there to lovingly wrap a cloth around his fake, weeping skin.

he does not need you, and yet you remain, because you’ve made your choice—it doesn’t matter whether he needs you or not. he will have you because you chose to give yourself to him.

you will take care of his body not because you need to, but because you want to. you will love him simply because you can.

it’ll take him some time to understand that, but he’ll get there, i promise. please do be patient.

#scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact #scara x reader #scaramouche drabble #wanderer imagine #genshin drabble #scaramouche x you #mujimade

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the-s1lly-corner · 8 months

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hii

I've seen you're taking creepypasta requests ? I really like your Zalgo's concept ! so..

can you drop some of your headcanons about him?? I'm really interested!!

stay safe!

Zalgo headcannons!

hihihihi i promise i saw you send this in a few hours after you asked this and i truly didnt mean to push writing this off for so long ive just been going through it (2 new interests have been kicking my ass for the past 7 or so weeks) but we're back !!

CAUTION these hcs are heavily centered around my concept!! i wasnt totally sure if you wanted these as romantic, so i decided to go down a middle road and just make it how interacting with the guy would probably go down + other ideas!! warning this is a lot of scattered rambling because my brain is all over the place and its 7am

the main thing that my take on zalgo and the main fandom interpretation have in common is the fat that theyre both powerful entities capable of causing mass destruction and chaos

however my zalgo exists more so as a... weird half concept half tangible entity if that makes sense? like he indirectly interacts with the world around him instead of going out and wrecking things himself; a close comparison i can think of is mother mabuka from fran bow but even then it seems she has more direct influence in that universe compared to zalgo... or maybe my interpretation of her is all whack too but eh

exists everywhere and nowhere at once, in my au he's responsible for the creation of the other creepypasta characters. for demon characters like slenderman or the rake he hand crafted them himself to cause torment. for characters like ben or eyeless jack he plants the seed to cause them to become what they were. for ben he allowed him to come back as an angry ghost, and for eyeless jack he made the curse that eventually infects the guy (although jack was just the unlucky host, zalgo had no specific target)

and keeping true to the original zalgo comic stuff, he can corrupt media in anyway he wishes, and perhaps implant subliminal messages or 'viruses' to infect more people? that second part is mostly a concept idea but i vibe with it

so how does one interact with a being that doesn't totally exist?

well

you dont

at least you cant initiate it; no if zalgo wants to be perceived by you he'll come to you, typically if you can offer something to him (usually the ability to cause issues for others, ie general creepypasta character criteria)

injecting this really quick but admin is really into the concept of certain characters/entities being just a simple part of nature, zalgo falls under this idea. he just exists because of the laws of the universe

is he capable of forming bonds? sure he definitely has some sort of favoritism towards certain creatures thanks to how effective they are, but like, what about emotional bonds?

probably not, if im being honest; like sure he can check in on you more often than his other agents of chaos, but that doesn't necessarily mean hes your friend

but lets pretend you somehow made friends with the omnipresent and almost omniscient birthplace of wrath and doom:

you cant touch him but he can touch you, kinda. it kinda feel like being wrapped around with a huge freeing cold and immensely heavy blanket when he decides to grace you with his presence

you know how when in adventure time, the lich makes the screen go dark (ex. the fall meme) i feel like itd be something like that

though ive never watched adventure time/never got too far into it SOBS i plan on changing that i promise

oh he is so so so clingy and he so truly hates your mortality

even in death he wont let you go, he'll probably forcefully bring you back, and by extension twisting you into something you weren't before

like this dude is genuinely not someone you want to fuck around with

even if you dont end up dying hes probably going to change you in some way at some point

on a lighter note hes the type to tear the world apart for you, both in the "i care about you as much as a creature like me can" and a "if you ever leave me im going to find you, i already know where you are because i have eyes everywhere"

like i dont like writing stuff that can dip into yandere territory but like. zalgo would do that kind of shit

bonus hcs, he doesnt really care how people perceive him.. because they cant, and even if he allows it he still doesnt care. wanna use any pronouns for him? he doesnt give a damn. see him as a god? as a devil? he doesnt care. truly could not give a shit what you think, he is unbothered

i feel my hcs for him have shifted a bit since i last brought him up in a post but i think

out of all the creepypastas, zalgo is the one i have with the most changing hcs

esp since in this au hes like. the reason everyone exists as they are, and why everything is going on; he is literally the reason all the bad things happened to everyone and hes responsible for the monster-type characters existence

okay thats all i apologize again if this is a mess i simply got. silly and im running off two hours of sleep and im scratching my brain trying to remember my ideas since i havent really thought of zalgo in 2 months (thanks to other brainrots SOBS)

#creepypasta zalgo #zalgo x reader #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #crp #zalgo headcanons

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narabea06 · 2 years

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TW: Implied abuse, depression, and murder

Okay, but like i finally read into Emra and Zachary, and I now really want to write Puppeteer getting a redemption arc, but pls hear me out-

So Puppeteer needs negative energy in order to work properly

And the reason he kills is bc he needs that negative energy

But also, in the process of doing this and collecting proxies hes become hateful, abusive, and egotistical

So basically the catalyst for him wanting to change is that he meets Ann

Since Ann was a retired Zalgo proxy in my AU, if he tried to kill her, Zalgo would probably come and erase him from existence, so instead Puppeteer resorts to taunting her and messing with her

The thing with Ann tho is that she does not take anybody's sh*t, plus she doesn't ever hold back on telling somebody how she feels head-on

She calls Puppeteer an a**, tells her to stop harassing her and that he probably is a terrible human being

Along with other things that she picks up from his behavior

Puppeteer is a little taken aback but just rubs it off as she is just being a b*tch

As days go by, Puppeteer keeps going to go mess with Ann again and again

Each time, Ann gets more and more frustrated with him until she decides to do some research on him

She finds out Puppeteer is Jonathan Black, finds out his old life and stuff

Next time she confronts him, calling him Jonathan

He starts freaking tf out (canon fact: Puppeteer despises being called Jonathan and ends up straight disassociating himself from that name when he dies)

She then starts saying some stuff regarding his old life, specifically how he died, pointing out that other people don't deserve what he went through

Jonathan ends up leaving and is very startled from that for a few days

He finds it extremely difficult to kill but does it anyway for his strength but finds himself being slightly more gentle than usual

Emra and Zachary both notice but dont say a word

Finally, he goes back to Ann, saying something along the lines of "if you know me so much, then help me stop"

Ann went "bet b*tch, I can actually do that"

Puppeteer begins to go to therapy

It starts off very rocky and Puppeteer doesn't make progress for awhile and basically tells Ann that that was her fault, which she replies with that she cant help if he doesn't want help

That shuts him up

They start working through a number of things. At first, it starts with focusing on Puppeteer's depression as well as his ego

Puppeteer starts to slowly get more of an understanding of himself.

Ann also consistently calls him Jonathan, telling him to stop pretending that part of himself didnt exist

Things are going well, until Ann finds out he has proxies

Ann realizes how Puppeteer treats them and tells Puppeteer how much his actions affect them

Puppeteer just shrugs it off as "Im there boss, they're supposed to be scared", but Ann tells him to try something: Just stand in the same room as one of them and watch how they react to everything he does.

He does this with Emra, and realizes literally how terrified she is of him and how much he has hurt her. Then he asks her just how she truly feels about him

She finally lets it all out, since she's always had to keep up a mask to pretend that she was still in love with him and that she was completely loyal to him, bc she was scared he would hurt her if she over put down the mask before.

Afterwards, she ends up apologizing, bc its clear Puppeteer is upset, but he just says that he wasn't upset at her specifically and left

He tells Ann, and slowly she helps him start to act more and more kinder to them

The proxies honestly are just confused tho

Ann then tells Puppeteer to just let them go and apologize

Puppeteer objects saying that if he let them go, getting energy was going to be harder, and Ann nodded saying " It will but that's not important rn, whats important is what you've put them through and how much they deserve to be free.

So Puppeteer finally apologizes to Zachary and Emra before letting them go free. He gives Zachary a few materials he might need to fix Emra manually and uses little bits of his power to help Emra be able to move without his strings amd constant puppeting

Emra and Zachary dont forgive him but still leave, finally free

Puppeteer ends up abandoning the theater then and decides he wasn't going to kill more people for his own gain anymore

He meets back with Ann, pretty upset and tells her what he did and asks if she's happy. Ann pauses before nodding

Puppeteer explains that without negative energy, he wasn't going be alive for much longer, and he be alive for one more day. Thats when Ann says that he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore

Pup is confused but Ann tells him to stay at her place and to trust her. He does

Next day, Zalgo shows up unannounced and Puppeteer freaks out, especially Zalgo does some sort of magic/ability thing on him

Basically he made it where Puppeteer no longer needed to leech off energy. He no longer NEEDED to kill.

All his other weaknesses were still there, but now he no longer needed to worry about death

Apparently, Ann had a favor due with Zalgo and decided to use it to get Puppeteer help

Zalgo leaves

Puppeteer slowly starts trying to figure things out again, to figure out his new life

Ann tried to help him how he could, and through due time, they slowly became best friends

It took Puppeteer a year, but he finally got better

His personality changed more to mischievous dumba**, and while he still used his abilities for self defense, he stopped killing altogether

....AND THATS HOW TO WRITE A REDEMPTION ARC, WOOO-

#creepypasta #puppeteer #emra creepypasta #zachary the proxy #nurse ann creepypasta

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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years

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Sugar, sugar

(genuinely hate coming up with titles lol)

this is just rowaelin being pining idiots, one of my fave tropes for day 11--delayed love confession

just a note, the lifestyle in this fic is more of a background note and doesnt really take centre stage in this fic. it’s one ive been tempted to write for a while tbh but didnt really get around to it until now

cw: very, very light smut (like barely non existent, but just in case), a lil bit of swearing

enjoy! :)

3k words (officially my longest fic, yay!)

Every thought in Aelin's mind was blank. She trudged through her apartment that she shared with Nehemia, absentmindedly kicking off her heels that Rowan purchased for her months ago. Then the light jacket she wore joined the shoes, the fabric was perfectly soft and perfect for the autumn chill.

It was yet another piece of item that Rowan purchased for her. A lot of the things she had know were thanks to Rowan, either from his own wallet or from the biweekly allowance he sent her—a generous allowance that was a thousand times better than her weekly paycheck from the bookstore she'd been working at since she turned twenty-two; her business degree had turned out to be useless and so she turned to the bookstore that had been her stable job for three years.

Aelin barely touched her weekly wage now, it was practically buried underneath the money the Rowan gave her.

Because Rowan Whitethorn, thirty-five and a successful CEO who was well known, was her sugar daddy. Had been now for fourteen months. But he was more than that, more than just a man that paid her to spend time with him. He respected her, was loyal to her, listened to her and responded with actual sentences instead of a word or two like other men she had dated. He was charming, didn't treat her like she was nothing but arm candy, and she knew him so well, as he knew her, and each fortnight she sometimes forgot their whole arrangement, but she was sharply reminded when she received the notification from her bank that the two and a half thousand dollars that Rowan sent her was now in her savings account.

When she agreed to their arrangement after several get-to-know you dates, Rowan had wanted to give her three and a half grand every week, and gods Aelin had been tempted because she had never had so much money in her life, but told him that it was far too much and negotiated.

Two and a half thousand was the lowest that Rowan was willing to go, and even though Aelin only knew him for two weeks at that point, she could tell that he would not budge, so she agreed to the amount.

The first time that money had landed in her account, Aelin had thought that maybe she had imagined the whole thing, but the money was a sharp reminder of what she know was—a sugar baby. Those words still didn't feel like they applied to her.

And he still spent money on her when they spent time together. Just last week he gifted her with diamond earrings in the shapes of roses with a necklace to match. She wore them tonight, not because he bought them for her but because she genuinely loved the pieces.

Needing something sweet—despite the fact she had only finished her chocolate hazelnut gelato twenty minutes ago—she dug through her fridge and found the brownies that Nehemia had baked the other day. She told herself that she would leave some for her long-time friend, but Aelin really doubted that would happen.

Aelin relished in the cold air of the fridge as she found the new can of whipped cream on the top shelf. The fridge was one of the first things she purchased with the money she was now being gifted with (and after that came a new washer and dryer, a dish-washing machine and television. Almost everything in her apartment was brand new now, the food were actual brands instead of the generic, tasteless shit. She had bras that fit her properly and were so damned comfortable that she forgot she was wearing them half the time).

The old fridge was a cheap hunk of junk that she and Nehemia purchased off Facebook marketplace for a hundred dollars, it barely kept things cold, but with expensive rent and bills and general life things, Nehemia and her couldn't afford anything better.

Which was how she ended up in this situation. Picking up more shifts barely gave them anything extra, because the economy right now in Terrasen was shit. Nehemia had made a joke about needing sugar daddies, and Aelin, knowing that Nehemia could never really do such a thing, had decided that maybe it was a good idea.

Nehemia had told Aelin that she was insane for pursuing such a thing, and that she had only been joking, but Aelin was not and that she could handle herself if things went wrong.

Nehemia had told her not to do anything, but Aelin was determined and started her search. It had taken a while to find a website that was genuine and didn't make her feel like she had to scrub her eyes out with bleach.

She created her page in private, because she not only was Nehemia against the idea, but so was Elide and Lysandra—she didn't dare tell Aedion what she was doing. Her cousin could be an overprotective pain in her ass at times, and Aelin was very well aware that if Aedion caught wind of what she was doing, he would have locked her up in her room without any type of device so she couldn't go forward with her plan.

She appreciated their concern, she did, but she was a consenting, tax-paying adult, and if she wanted to use her time to get paid spending time with a rich man, then Aelin was allowed to do exactly that.

It wasn't prostitution, she had looked it up, because it was the sugar babies that had the power and so that was how it went with her and Rowan.

Aelin didn't even have sex with Rowan until it was the sixth month anniversary of her and Rowan's...relationship (and gods, it was the best sex Aelin ever had. Rowan was a generous and completely unselfish lover).

He was the first one she came across on the site and almost drooled down herself when she saw his picture. Silver hair, pine-green eyes, a beautiful tattoo down the length of his left arm and tanned skin, he was stupidly attractive and only ten years old than her.

Aelin messaged him first only after being on the site for ten minutes, deciding that surely he was the best one and that she needn't bother to look at any other candidates.

They hit it off straight away, and after deciding on a restaurant to meet at, Aelin had informed Nehemia of the matter, which she was promptly met with question after question: why can't a thirty-four year old man find someone his own age? Is he one of those men that can't date a woman five minutes older than him because of some stupid made up reason? How do you know for certain that it's him in the picture? What if he's cat-fishing you? What if he's a freak, or a killer? What if he's just pretending to be rich to kidnap you? What if, what if, what if?

And so after a heated discussion, Nehemia had come along on her date-that-wasn't-really-a-date and sat a few tables away from her and Rowan, watching them—especially him—the entire time like a hawk.

Aelin had completely forgotten that her friend was there, so enraptured by Rowan and what he did and how he saw life.

It had been fourteen months of seeing Rowan and genuinely enjoying spending time with him and weeks ago, she realised that she wanted it to be something more. That she had come to care for him, not because of the money, but purely because it was Rowan and he made her feel seen and he wasn't afraid of her, because she had once been told by an ex that she could be too much and that he couldn't handle all her baggage.

Aelin wanted a life with him.

So Aelin told Rowan she loved him when he dropped her off tonight after their dinner and a movie date, telling him how she felt, and he had said thank you. He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and went home, leaving behind the pine-and-snow scent of him.

Aelin really wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die.

She was scarfing down her third brownie when Nehemia's bedroom door opened, her friend clad in an old matching pj set, her slippers shuffling across the tile.

“What happened? Are you okay?” her friend asked upon seeing Aelin's guttered look. Her dark brows furrowed. “Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll—”

“He didn't do anything,” Aelin interrupted her friend. Taking the food, Aelin planted herself on the teal blue velvet sofa Rowan gave her for Yulemas last year, ignoring the scent of not just him, but of them both from when he came over after work just the other day with pizza and a DVD that she insisted that she watched because it was too good not to, when they forgot all about the movie as Rowan buried himself inside her, leaving hickeys all over her neck that she had to cover up with thick concealer.

Nehemia joined her on the couch, her friend momentarily forgetting for now that she had walked in on her and Rowan just moments after they finished, muttering under her breath in Eyllwe as she glared at them defiling the couch, and gave her a look that Aelin knew that Nehemia would listen to every word that came out from her.

And when Aelin was done recounting the story, all Nehemia could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yes, 'oh,'. I've probably fucked up the whole thing. So don't be surprised if I call you on your lunch break tomorrow telling you he's broken things off.”

“Aelin, I don't think he will. I know that I'm not the biggest fan of your...situation—”

“I'm aware,” Aelin said, cutting her friend off. “You still won't let me buy you a new mattress, even though yours is hard as a brick and lumpy as hell. I've told you that you can pay me—”

“Aelin,” Nehemia said, “we're not talking about mattresses right now. As I was saying, I doubt he'll break things off because I've seen the way he looks at you. I still think he's too old for you, but he cares for you. You probably just caught him by surprise.”

“How does he look at me?” Aelin was observant, but sometimes when she was with Rowan, all her observation skills went out the window.

“Like he loves you,” Nehemia said, no hint of doubt in her voice.

Aelin sighed, her feelings slowly starting to crush her. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Sighing once more, Aelin put the food back in the fridge, showered and went to bed, forgoing her usual night texting ritual with Rowan.

She really wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't concentrate, which wasn't a good thing, since his job dealt with having to concentrate all the time. But no matter what mind-focusing techniques he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Aelin.

Couldn't stop thinking about how she said she was in love with him. How her beautiful eyes had been sparkling when she said those words to him. And how the light in them dimmed when he said thank you and kissed her on the cheek, telling her that he would talk to her later. But he hadn't texted her, nor did she.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you. He really couldn't believe that was what he said. Felt like an utter fool and a bastard as he realised he probably crushed her heart. Aelin didn't like being vulnerable, and she had been when she said those words and he had gone and fucked it all up.

Rowan loved Aelin, he did, but he truly wasn't prepared for those words. He loved how on the weekends they would be up at one am, baking chocolate goodies, dancing in the quiet kitchen, humming quietly to Aelin's classical music playlist, with her wearing not the nightgowns that he loved, but one of his old hoodies.

He didn't think that he would get along with her so well once they met, thinking that their online interactions were nothing but a fluke. He was moments away from deleting the profile because he didn't actually create it, but Fenrys had, his friend grumbling that he needed a girlfriend, with Rowan arguing that creating a profile on a sugar daddy site was not dating but probably the opposite, when Aelin messaged him.

His life-long friend didn't listen, much to Rowan's annoyance—but he didn't grab his phone out of his friends hand; Rowan blamed it on the several whiskys he had downed by that point.

Aelin bewitched him on that first meet up. She was intelligent as hell and funny, and creative and beautiful. He was aware of why she was on the date with him, but he didn't care, just as long as he got to see her again.

Fourteen months later and Rowan was still bewitched. He wanted to be with her on a permanent basis, but wasn't completely sure how to take that step.

Clearly, Aelin had taken that step for them, and Rowan was the worlds biggest moron.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Groaning, Rowan turned away from his computer and looked at the skyline, ignoring the buildings to instead watch the puffy clouds drift by.

Aelin loved watching the clouds, loved stargazing, loved questioning about the universe and what the skies held.

He never really paid any of that stuff attention, not until he met her.

Rowan didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to think that he was about to break up with her over this. He had to see her, so he grabbed his keys and wallet, told his secretary to hold his calls for the rest of the day, and went to visit Aelin.

X X X X X X

It had been an usually busy day for a Wednesday and Aelin was glad for her lunch break as she trudged up to the roof of the shopping centre. She wasn't really allowed up here, but she wanted some fresh air and to feel the sun against her skin as she sat down and dug into her lunch—fast food, unfortunately for her, because she was so frazzled from last night that she completely forgot about making a pack lunch.

Rowan hadn't called her, or texted her. Not even an email had been sent her way.

Aelin hated that she felt so damned mopey. She was an independent woman, but gods, even a good morning text would have been fine.

She finished her lunch, popping several mints into her mouth to get rid of the onion taste, when the roof door crashed open and a familiar hulking figure came into view.

He must have spoken to Elide to find her here.

Aelin's brow furrowed. “Rowan, what are you doing here?” Oh gods, surely he wasn't going to break up with her, she still had hours to go; there'd be no way she could work if she had tears in her eyes.

Taking her hands in his, Aelin stood up. She steeled herself against whatever he was going to say.

“I love you, Aelin. I'm in love with you, too,” Rowan said, his eyes soft and full of genuine love. Aelin's heart shot up into her throat. “I want a life with you. I want us to buy a home, one that has warmth and character, and a big garden. I want a dog. And kids too, if you want, I know that you've never mentioned it, but if you don't want any then that is completely fine. I want to support you in whatever endeavors you want to take, and if you ever want to go back to university, then I'll support you, or if you want to find a way to use your business degree, I'll help you with that, too. Whatever you want Aelin, I'll give it to you, as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy.”

Aelin was silent for so long that Rowan thought that maybe he shocked her into silence. But eventually, she smiled, one that was dazzling in its beauty that it took his breath away.

“You love me?”

“I do, Aelin, I love you.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Rowan groaned at the amusement in her tone, in her eyes. “You're never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She smirked. “Definitely not. It'll be a nice story to tell our children...one day. For now, I think we should contend with being proper significant others.”

Rowan nodded, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because I need to get back to work, since I'm no longer accepting your allowances. I won't deny the use of your credit card, but other than that, you are no longer my sugar daddy.”

It was Rowan's turned to smirk, and it was the one that made her core clench. “How about I be 'daddy' instead?”

Aelin snorted, even as she clenched around nothing again. Smacking his arm lightly, Aelin kissed him. “Only if you behave,” she said against his lips, “and now I really need to go back to work.”

Rowan walked her back, their fingers laced together, and as she turned to say goodbye, Aelin said, “I'll see you later, daddy.”

Rowan groaned, and it took everything in him not to take her hand and into his car to have his wicked way with her.

By the time he thought of a response, Aelin was already back to work, helping a customer with an impressive stack of books in her arms.

But she knew he was still there, because the way she swayed her hips to the counter was all for him, and when she saw him watching her, Aelin winked, making Rowan's heart flutter in his chest.

He really did love her. And he would live with her teasing him for the rest of his life, just as long as she was with him.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances. (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good” Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased, then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right? If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #GREAT EPISODE #satisfied paper #final season #Part 1

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heavymetalover · 5 years

Text

Call Me Daddy (Michael Langdon x fem reader)

{i imagined scruffy sojourn michael w this one but i left the description kind of open so yall can imagine whichever teehee}

Summary: Michael is about to become your step dad and the two of you have an unusual relationship…

Warnings: DADDY KINK DUH, smut, dirty talk, fingering, vaginal sex, dom!michael, hickies, rough sex.

WC: 5.5k

A/N: ive done the unforgiven… omg.

this is a different format from my other stuff. i didnt see anyone doing this and yall know me and my daddy issues I HAD TO. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE anon me, message me, whatever, if you want more parts cuz im down.

~~~~

You had an average run-of-the-mill life with your mom. The two of you lived in a sizable suburban Los Angeles estate; your mom worked for most of her waking hours to keep you comfortable and you worked your ass off to stay in your top college. You had a few friends that would pop into your life when your mom left town, a few boyfriends here and there, even your mom dated around. Everything felt normal until Michael came into the picture.

Your mom has been dating Michael for a few months now, but every time he’s around he brings an eerie feeling along with him. Despite being nearly half her age, he has the soul of somebody from the eighteen hundreds. The way he composes himself, how he speaks with the utmost confidence and how his stares linger too long; his glacial blue eyes always watch you like he can see right through your clothes.

You’ve been skeptical of him since the day you met him. When you shook his hand and accidentally removed one of his large rings, he nonchalantly told you to keep it. You decided to sell the huge diamond-encrusted Cartier ring and use the twenty thousand dollars to help pay for college.

Since then you’ve avoided the two of them in protest of their relationship. You knew it was juvenile to evade them, but the man turned you on more than you’d like to admit. His soft-waved blonde hair, fluffy lips, jawline for days, prominent cheekbones, and how can you forget the eyes… Everything about him looked planned, like he was designed to be flawless.

On a mundane weekend morning, your mom calls you from downstairs. “Y/n!” her voice echoes through the halls.

You stop reading your favourite book and take out an earbud. “Yeah?!” you yell back, looking up from the pages for a moment and waiting for her to say something else, but the house is silent. You pretend to ignore her call and go back to the story.

“Y/n!” your mom yells again.

You sigh and drop your book, rolling off of your bed and skipping down the stairs to see what fresh hell awaits. As you approach your mom, who’s opening her mouth to call you again, you smell something unusual. Something you haven’t smelt since your dad left. Cologne.

“Honey, he’s here,” your mom whispers to you, putting a hand on your shoulder. You try turning away to run back to your room, but your mom stops you. “Can you be nice for once, please?” she begs, squeezing your shoulder.

“Whatever, let’s get this over with,” you groan and shimmy her hand off of your shoulder.

Michael works at the dining table, setting up three plates and utensils. You’re planted to the ground in awe, you’ve never had to eat dinner with the two of them before. It crosses your mind that they must be confronting you about bypassing them these past few months, your fight or flight response is already kicking in.

Michael looks up at you, finally acknowledging you and capturing you in his ocean blue eyes with a nanosecond of contact. Your mom moves in between the two of you and takes some food out of a paper bag. “Michael and I wanted all of us to eat dinner together,” she skips to stand beside him. You widen your eyes at her and cross your arms in objection. She widens her eyes back, you can practically hear her nagging you to be polite.

Michael puts his arm around your mom. “Your mother and I thought it best for us to… start acting like a family,” he says.

Your eyebrows shoot up and you can’t hold back your smile. “A family?” you laugh. You purse your lips and start walking backwards, aching to escape Michael’s spell. “Mmm, I think I’ll pass,” you turn around to start walking away.

“Y/n,” your mom snaps. You stop in the middle of a step and twist back towards them, taking small, reluctant steps to approach their little function. “We have something to tell you,” she says and immediately after, vaults her hand out to you.

You take it hesitantly and look at her, still trying to figure them out and failing. “What?” you ask.

“No, honey, look at it,” she rolls her eyes, “look at my hand.”

You gawk at her hand, her third finger is dressed in a huge diamond ring. It looks big enough to pay off your whole house. You unintentionally let out a dramatic gasp and drop her hand, she continues to hold it up for you. “It’s the bloodiest diamond he could find in the LA area,” she explains, “We’re in love.” She smiles and places her hand on Michael’s chest, looking up at him with hearts in her eyes. He gifts a small kiss on her lips.

You scoff and shake your head. Any tension that you felt from Michael has dissolved. He’s been dating your mom for five months, five fucking months. Who does he think he is? Are they both nuts? “You’re joking, right?” you ask, completely stunned by how brash the whole situation is. “Are you guys pranking me?”

Michael grins at you, it makes you melt and you hate yourself for it. “Call me daddy,” he sneers.

----

It’s a quaint Wednesday evening when you decide to take a break from studying and grab a snack. You’re scrolling through Tumblr when you walk out of your room and smash your face against a sturdy chest. “Jesus!” you gasp, looking up at Michael standing in front of your door; one of his hands is in a fist, ready to knock on your door, while the other is behind his back. “You scared the shit out of me!” You playfully push his chest away from you, trying to shake off the sudden rush of adrenaline.

He drops his fist as he stumbles back slightly. It’s the first time you’ve talked to him since they announced their engagement. Michael moved in about a month ago and it’s been hard to ignore him since he sits, day in day out, typing away on his laptop in your living room.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “But I have to admit it’s nice to hear your voice again.”

You lean against your doorframe, trying to act casual as if he hadn’t just knocked the wind out of you completely. “Did my mom come home from work or something? She send you here?” you ask, declining his attempts to meet your eyes, instead you stare at his lapel.

“No, I got you something,” he explains, wiggling the surprise behind his back.

“Another Cartier ring?” you joke. “Oh, or is it a new girlfriend? Because that would be even better.” His eyes find the ceiling in annoyance and it feels rewarding, you were starting to think he couldn’t be cracked. “Did you get me an apartment, so I don’t have to live with another failed marriage?”

“No,” he snaps back, starting to sound impatient with your infantile attitude. You straighten up at his belligerent tone. He slides into your room, keeping the gift hidden behind his back. “It’s thoughtful, something I know you’d like, but… if you’re hellbent on loathing my existence, why should I be so kind?” he asks. He somehow manages to speak reserved, yet impossibly intimidating. Every word that leaves his lips demands to be heard, it sends chills down your spine. “Right?” he prompts.

You take in a breath. “Right,” you force yourself to agree, mostly because you’re curious to see what the present is. Another part of you is getting bored of acting like a hermit and going days without social interaction. “Obviously it feels weird; I barely know you and you’re becoming my dad and you moved in, everything just seems so fast,” you explain yourself. You saunter back into your room to meet him. “I’ve been a bitch. I’m sorry, Michael. Seriously.”

He takes a step closer to you, you’re only inches apart. You can feel the heat radiating from his body and fight the urge to wrap your arms around him. “We’ll work on ‘Michael’ later,” he replies. You’re about to question what he means by that when he takes the present out from behind his back. He holds a black bag in between the two of you and you immediately recognize the store. “I heard you on the phone with your friend about something red, lacey, with a bow. I think I found it…”

You take the Victoria’s Secret bag from him without saying a word. You have no words to say. You don’t know if you should thank him or refuse the gift or slap him for listening to your personal conversations. Your mind races wondering if you’d gossiped about his good looks on the phone with your friend.

You silently pry open the bag and paw through the lingerie, mountains of cute panties and bras, digging through things you were never able to afford but always wanted. And, of course, Michael bought the red, lacey one piece you were talking about with your friend. There’s a stillness in the room as you look through the bag. “You bought all of this for me?”

“Yeah, I can’t see how your mom would fit into any of those.”

All of the pieces are just your size, it’s the perfect gift… just not from your stepdad. “How did you even know my size?” you stop looking at the bag and make the mistake of falling into his eyes.

“I went through your clothes,” he carelessly shrugs.

You drop the present by your side. “You went through my clothes, like, my lingerie?”

He slowly nods his head, acting as if it isn’t strange for him to invade your privacy how he did. You huff and he begins looking agitated with you again. “Would you like if I returned all this stuff? I thought you’d like it.”

“I do,” you mutter and kick the bag away from him, you’re not jeopardizing this gift with your uncontrollable sass.

“Good,” he spits back.

“Just… don’t think you can just buy yourself into the family,” you mock. You catch yourself subconsciously crossing your arms over your chest to give yourself a breast lift, but you don’t stop.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he smirks. He looks down at your cleavage and it feels like all the air is sucked out of the room. “You have quite the collection of lingerie you keep hidden at the bottom of your drawers,” he observes, “like a dirty guilty pleasure.” You peer up at him, again trying to read him, and again failing. He uses one of his fingers to hook onto the thin fabric of your shirt, your tits are practically pouring out and begging to be the center of attention. He tugs at the fabric, looking under your shirt and inspecting your boobs suffocated in one of your intimate Victoria’s Secret pickups. “Kitten’s all dressed up?” he whispers, his fingertips graze the embroidered details.

You bite your lip, anticipating the second he’ll rip the bra off your chest. “It’s all for you,” you tease, pushing your tits together even more, “I’m always dressed up for you, Michael.”

He breathes in, groaning under his breath. “I thought I told you,” his voice is low and intimidating, “call me daddy.”

You’re drinking in a breath of his cologne, shifting onto the tips of your toes to give his soft lips a rugged kiss, when the sound of keys rattling downstairs takes you out of it. Michael still stares at you, his fingers continue to linger over your clothed tits. “Michael!” your mom calls from downstairs.

You look up at him with fear in your puppy dog eyes and Michael grins. He shoots you one last, knowing, glance before leaving your room. He leaves you without saying two words. “Yeah, babe,” he answers your mom, closing your bedroom door behind him.

What the fuck just happened?

----

Holding back your gags, you grasp your friend’s hair as she projectile vomits peach schnapps into an expensive toilet bowl. Her phone rings in her pocket and you huff, digging through the pockets of the leather jacket you lent her and pulling out a vibrating iPhone. You pick up the phone with an ill “hello”, answering too late and looking down at the screen. She must’ve ordered an Uber a while ago, there’s a ton of notifications that the driver’s outside. “Oh shit,” you mutter under your breath. “Your ride is here!” you yell at her, trying to pull her onto her feet.

“What?!” she yells into the toilet bowl.

You roll your eyes and lean down beside her ear, “I said, your ride is here!” you yell over the thumping music.

Your friend stumbles around, trying to stand up in her six-inch heels. You pull her onto you and her head rests on your shoulder, she goes limp against you. “Stop, come on!” you shout over the music. “You have to g-”

You’re cut off by your friend puking onto an expensive mini dress you bought for tonight’s party. This shindig was supposed to be a fun little escape from your school life, your home life, Michael, all your stress. You expected to make new friends, meet hot guys, but instead you came an hour late and have been nursing your friend the whole night. You’re seriously going to kick her ass tomorrow.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, her breath reeking of throw up.

You toss her arm over your shoulder and start walking her out of the bathroom. “I’m going to kill you tomorrow, you know that?” you say in her ear and she lets out a small, apologetic whimper.

A cute guy who was talking you up earlier approaches the two of you. He holds two red cups in his hands and shrugs when he sees you. “What the fuck, y/n? You disappeared on me!” he talks to you over the bass-y music. “I got our drinks!” he shakes the cups in his hands and hands one over to you, as if completely ignoring your drunken friend hanging off of your side.

Your friend staggers, nearly bringing you down with her. The cute guy helps you pick her back up and you sigh, annoyed at how much of a disaster your night has turned into. He knits his eyebrows at your sour attitude, then finding the vomit on your dress, he looks back up at you. You see his doe eyes grow apologetic when he mouths a weak “sorry” to you, stepping out of your way. You shake your head as if telling him it’s fine; you just wish you had more time to get to know him.

You continue dragging your friend along your side and hear someone call out your name from behind you. You whip your head around; your hair irritatingly sticks to your lip-gloss. “Hope to see you again!” he calls after you. You nod in his direction and resume walking your friend, who is nearly passed out on your shoulder, to the front door. When you walk out of the house, you’re assaulted with the smell of salt water. Despite this night turning into one of the most frustrating nights of your life, at least you got to visit a Malibu beach house.

A big, black SUV is parked outside of the house and you rush her to the door. Opening the backseat and stuffing her inside the seats in the back. “The app says where you’re taking her, right?” you ask the Uber driver, your voice sounds muted from being struck by loud music all night.

He nods and reads out her address. “Y/n,” your friend slurs, gripping onto your arm with all her strength, “you’re a really nice… you’re a… you’re a really good friend, you know that? Like, seriously,” she pauses to hiccup, “thank you for taking care of me tonight.” Her words are so slurred that it’s nearly impossible to make out her compliment, but you just nod in hopes it’ll get her to let go. She drops your arm and hands you your pricey leather jacket, bunched up in a ball, before shutting the van door.

You throw on your jacket, protecting yourself from the ocean’s breeze, and watch the van drive away when you notice a familiar car parked across the street. The SUV blocked a four-seater Maserati parked on the other side of the road. Michael’s sedentary in the driver’s seat with a cigarette hanging from his lips. You balance yourself on your ridiculously tall heels and stomp over to his car. He doesn’t even see you coming, he’s leaned back in the driver’s seat reading a book.

You crouch down and knock on the glass of his window. His eyes meet yours for a second and he slowly rolls down the window. A mob of cigarette smoke escapes the car and he chucks the stick onto the pavement. You’re both quiet for a few moments, the crashing ocean waves fills up the silence. “How did you know I was here?” you ask.

He finally puts down his book and looks at you. “Just trying to be a good dad,” he responds.

“Ugh, ew,” you groan. “You’re my step dad.”

He adjusts his seat to start driving, his eyes looking you up and down as he does. “Looks like your night went a little… rough,” he jokes and nods towards the puke on your dress. “You need a ride?”

You look back at the party. As much as you wanted to live up the night, you’re already in too much of a bad mood to go back in there. It doesn’t help that your new dress is covered in puke, too. You turn back around to Michael, he awaits your answer with a cocked brow. “You can’t tell mom,” you sigh, walking around the car to get into the passenger’s seat. The luxury car’s butterfly doors obnoxiously open up for your entry. “Not a word,” you assure him as you slide into the leather seat.

He starts up the car and one of his Led Zeppelin albums begins to play. “I picked you up at the library,” he quips.

He starts driving along the empty coast and you decide to skip the seatbelt, you don’t want to dirty his car with your friend’s retch. His eyes glance over to your seat for a moment, he notices you second guessing the seatbelt and puts a hand on your thigh. You look up at him and intuitively try to tempt him, biting your bottom lip and batting your lashes. “I’ll protect you if we crash,” he whispers, his fingers lightly caress your thighs.

You put your hand on his and slide him further up your leg. He keeps one hand on the wheel, eyes on the road, but when his eyes do meet yours, it makes all the nerves in your core feel like a wave pool. Your dress is short enough for him to reach your panties without any hassle. Your hand is on his when his fingers begin to rub your pussy, still dressed in a pair of panties he bought you. “Baby’s already wet for daddy,” he says under his breath, kneading your clit in small circles.

You feel your stomach erupt with butterflies, you’ve never felt a nervousness so intense before. A rush of thoughts suddenly violates your mind, you try to shut them up but they keep coming. This is wrong. You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re disgusting for enjoying this. His fingers have been in your mom before.

You dig your nails into his skin and pull his hand away from you; bending over in your seat and clutching onto your stomach. You only had one drink tonight, you shouldn’t be feeling this sick.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, “are you okay?”

“I think I need air,” you grumble through the sudden sickness. “Can you pull over?”

Michael only takes a minute to find an empty parking lot on the beach and pull into it. You get out of the car without saying a word to him and take off your heels, throwing them into the backseat of his car. You’re already starting to feel your anxiety subside as you shuffle through the cool sand and pace towards the erratic waves crashing on shore. This is one of the reasons you loved LA, the tons of tiny, empty beaches. The ocean at night, and how it constantly smelt like salt water, how it relaxed you.

The breeze blew through your hair, a part of you felt like running into the crashing waves, but a voice took you out of it. “Y/n!” Michael called behind you, over the sound of the whistling wind. He trudges in the sand to get to you; you faintly snicker at his dedication. “Are you okay?” he asks once he’s closer to you.

When you see him, face glowing in the moon light, golden locks blowing in the ocean breeze, face twisted with concern, it all settles. Everything feels like it’s in the right place. Your stomach, although still turning with butterflies, no longer feels sick.

There’s a pause between the two of you; both of you deciding to admire each other instead of the beautiful ocean view beside you. Then, it feels like everything clicks. Like the two of you mentally communicate your longing for each other, your desire. Both shutting your eyes and diving in for a kiss at the same time.

His lips smash against yours, sucking your face, and his tongue quickly invades your mouth. He kisses you like he’s craved your lips for years, passionately cleaning up your mouth with his eager tongue.

Michael works your jacket off of your shoulders and you shimmy it to the ground. He unzips your dress, the zip running along your naked back sends a shiver crawling down your spine. He abandons your lips for a moment to pull down your dress, exposing your bare chest and expensive panties. You’re too lost in lust to even realize you’re half naked on a public beach.

You’re both panting and releasing all of the built-up sexual tension. He stands back up and kisses you again, his hands cup your ass and he gives an echoed smack; his fingers creep down your legs. He grabs onto the back of your thighs and hoists you up, you lightly yelp into his mouth and wrap your legs around him. His large hands hold you up and he leans down, resting you onto the jacket you’ve thrown onto the sand.

Once you’re laid down, he begins rubbing your pussy again. His cold rings adding a different sense of pleasure as he rubs you into entropy. He slides your feeble panties to the side and spits down on your cunt, shoving his finger inside you. You moan at the sudden intrusion, taking in a breath of the salt-scented air. “That’s it, baby girl,” he whispers, adding in another finger, “I want to hear you moan for daddy.”

You take in a breath and whimper as he curves his fingers inside of you, slowly pulsing against your g-spot. He touches you as if he already knows which parts make you crumble. “Ooh yeah, daddy,” you cry and grind on his fingers, pushing him deeper inside you, “right there.”

“You’re my dirty little slut, huh?” he asks, gliding in another finger. Your eyes roll back in pleasure. “Little girl likes to get fucked by her daddy?” He adds another finger, completely stretching you out. Your breath gets caught in your throat and you can’t reply. “I asked you a question.”

You meet his cold eyes for a second, before you throw your head back in pleasure. “Yes!” you breathe out, feeling the heat rise in your body. Your sensitive cunt throbs under his gluttonous fingers, persistently fucking you and begging for more. “Yes, oh, keep fucking me just like that, daddy!”

His fingers find a rhythm inside of you, constantly bringing you to the brink of climax and slowing down. “Such a dirty little girl,” he teases and spits on your soaking cunt. He pulls out his fingers and holds them to your lips. You grab his hand and suck on his long fingers, tasting the cool metal rings mixed with the sweet taste of your pussy.

You sit up and lock your lips with his again. Both, you and Michael, unbutton his shirt; you want to feel his flesh against yours as soon as possible. When you get to the bottom, you slide your hands up his body and square the shirt off of his shoulders. His perfect, porcelain skin shines in the moonlight. You want to appreciate it for a moment, but he’s already unbuckling his belt.

He’s propped on his knees, unzipping his black pants and bringing them down to pull his erection out of his briefs. It springs out when you start grabbing for it, he moves back and clicks his tongue. “My greedy little girl,” he mocks, “you don’t get a taste until daddy says you do.”

He pushes you down with one of his hands. His touch is so delicate, yet so commanding. Everything he does is done with conviction and a power that only you could dream of, he is inherently dominant over you. He strokes his long, girthy length over you, you’re practically drooling at the sight. He spits on himself and rubs it into the head. “Spit on it,” he orders.

You sit up and weakly spit on the tip of his cock; it’s too late when you notice your mouth is dry from nervousness. He shakes his head. “You’re so pathetic, you can’t even spit on me right,” he sneers, divorced from the nasty words leaving his lips. He presses his dick against your folds and your fingers curl into your jacket, awaiting the moment he plunges into you. “Say the word, baby girl, say you want me,” he’s lingering at your entrance.

“Please,” you whine, your pussy is beating against his hard cock, “please dad.”

He pushes his head inside you and you grab his arms for support, digging your nails into his skin. He’s so thick, you’ve never felt something so large obtruding your tight cunt. He moves in slowly, reading your stunned facial expressions to see if he should continue stuffing himself inside of you. You let out tiny weeps as he digs deeper into your hole, but you can’t manage much more.

Michael thrusts himself into you until he’s balls deep, even he can’t help but groan. “My little girl is so fucking tight,” he grunts under his breath. He starts to hammer himself into you, going so deep that you feel like pushing him back, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. His cock is so thick that it hits every nerve you could imagine; it’s hard to gather a single word.

He lets out a small chuckle at your reticence. “My innocent baby’s never felt a real cock before, huh?” he taunts, still pounding his length into you. You open your mouth to speak, but settle on shaking your head. One distinct tear runs down the side of your face while stifled cries pass your trembling lips with each time his balls smack into your ass. “You’re taking me like a good fucking girl,” he admires, “my good little slut.”

He lifts up your leg and rests your foot on his shoulder. You’re twisted onto your side, trying to look over your shoulder to see how vigorously he pounds into your cunt. Michael’s new positioning hits exactly in your g-spot, you feel your leg shaking under his grip. “H-holy shit,” your voice trembles, you let out a built-up breath. “Keep going, daddy! Right there, right there, I’m so close,” you’re begging, voice is flooded with desperation. You don’t care how childish you sound, you want nothing more than to come all over Michael’s big dick. “Don’t move, please, please,” you grab onto his arm again.

Tears overflow your eyes when you look into his. Just seeing his determined light blue eyes peering back at you makes you unravel even more. He has no remorse for how weak he’s making you, how vulnerable you’ve become, his unmistakable dominion turns you on.

He listens to your wails, finally granting you the satisfaction you’ve been begging for and plows into your g-spot. Your grip on him gets tighter as he thrusts harder, you’re almost certain he’s going to leave some swelling deep inside your cunt. “Your dick is so, fucking, good,” you breathe in between thrusts.

Michael doesn’t give up, keeping up the same pace and fucking you exactly how you want him to. You’re about to praise his long cock some more when you’re thrown into climax. You try looking back up at him, but you can’t say a word; your mouth hangs wide open with nothing but small chokes croaking out. He can see how dazed he’s made you and shoves your face into the ground, pushing your nose against the leather of your jacket. “You’re going to take daddy’s cock like a good little girl,” he seethes, suffocating your head into your jacket. “Don’t come,” he demands.

He continues punching your g-spot with his huge cock, you feel your pussy spasming under his rough thrusts. He holds both of your arms back, shifting you into doggy-style. His balls slap against your sore clit and you feel yourself starting to ejaculate. “Fuck!” you scream into the breeze of the empty beach. Your cunt twitches and gushes its balmy juices all over Michael’s hard cock.

He slows down his pace and pulls your arms up towards him, you feel his heaving chest against your back. “What did I just fucking say?” he fumes, tugging your arms even closer to him. “Answer me.”

“You told me not to come,” you answer in a syrupy, naïve voice.

He grabs both of your tits to push you flush against him, maintaining his rough thrusts into your cunt. “That’s right,” he whispers in your ear, “baby didn’t fucking listen.” He smacks your tits with both of his hands, striking you hard. You jump at how ruthless he hits you, it makes your stomach flutter again. His full lips lug along your neck. “Remember who you belong to,” he speaks into your neck, sending an iciness throughout your entire body.

Michael digs his teeth into your skin, sucking up your flesh while he continues massaging your breasts, pinching at the hard peaks your nipples have formed. He sucks so hard it stings, you wonder how that would feel on your pussy. His love bite begins to hurt and you shift your head away from him, he snickers. “Who do you belong to?” he whispers, lips chafing the shell of your ear.

He pinches your nipples even harder and you sob in pleasure. “Mmm, you,” you respond, looking over your shoulder to give his lips a frail kiss. “I belong to you, daddy.”

He takes in a deep breath as if shaking off your spell and regaining his confidence. He pushes you onto the ground again and goes back to fucking you like a ragdoll. “You better remember that,” he breathes, mercilessly pummeling himself into you again.

He holds both of your arms back once more, driving himself into you so hard that you’re concerned about cervix bruising. His pace slows down a bit and you look back at him, his mouth drapes open and he stares down at the back of your head. He pushes you away as he orgasms, savagely shoving your face back into the ground, as you feel his warm seed spilling inside your wet cunt. Michael groans from deep within his chest, letting out a long sigh when he’s done. “Oh, fuck,” he moans, “fuck, you sexy bitch.”

You let out a little giggle at this and he joins. He hauls himself out of you and you feel all of your muscles relax. You shift onto your back, looking up at Michael in disbelief. You’re too caught up in euphoria to comprehend what just happened. All you can think of in this moment is how fucking good he was. Even Michael has a dumbfounded look on his face.

He shakes his head and liberates a nervous laugh, “We’re so fucked up.”

You can say that again.

5K notes · View notes

ddalgi-yong · 3 years

Text

STARCROSSED NO. 1 || J.JK

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff-ish

word count: 4,6k

synopsis: finding out that you were a half god and the half sister of the one and only aphrodite, you have to avoid getting killed, be the reason why the emotion love disappears from the world... and avoid jeon jungkook and try not to fall in love with him.

part of the holiday treats event <3

if you want to be tagged to the series, please send me an ask ! series masterlist link will be added later !

DEAR VIO;

its me, your secret santa ! i really hope that you like the first part of my series ! i thought this was getting too long so i decided to cut it and make a series out of it ! making this a series, by the way, was the surprise i was talking about lol i didnt manage to interact with you a lot during the event as sometimes you didn’t see my asks and sometimes, i just disappeared. i’m sorry about that. maybe we could do better and text each other sometimes? you seem really sweet and nice and i really need someone who might get me back to stan bts properly :D anyways, i really hope you enjoyed this! merry early christmas, dear ! i hope you will have amazing days during this tough time !

xx nur

You hated him.

You didn’t even know why you hated him, but most important was that you hated him.

Who?

Jeon Jungkook.

His stupidly perfect face, his perfect and beautiful smile; you had so many things that people loved about him.

But at least you knew that you hated him, that was the most important part.

Until that one day you looked him straight into his eyes, suddenly felt this huge anger and you only wanted to kill him.

“You fucking bitch, I should have done this a long time ago”, he growled as he got closer to you. “I should have killed you before it was too late. But now… no one will save you from me.” His laugh was soft and sweet despite his angered tone and you had no idea why he spoke to you like this.

“What the hell did I do to you?”, you asked him, your voice was shaky as you really started to fear him. You hated him, yet you were scared of him in this one moment.

“You exist, that’s enough”, he said and then he was gone. You didn’t know what happened as Jungkook suddenly disappeared from in front of you; you didn’t even know where he was. Your body started shaking and you just sat down on the grass to breathe properly.

You had no idea what was going on or where Jungkook had disappeared to.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”, someone shouted over the huge field, you turned around to see your boyfriend Yugyeom coming towards you. He was dressed in his typical style, mostly black and the usual edgy boyfriend look he always had.

“Yeah, I am. What about you?”, you smiled up to him and he sat down next to you. Even though he always seemed like the tough man from campus but you knew better.

“Bored and tired. You wanna skip class?”, he asked you and you hit him laughing.

“You dumbass, why would you do that?”, you asked him and he only shrugged, pulling your head on his lap, softly stroking over your head.

“Because I’d rather spend my time with my beautiful and sweet girlfriend than be stuck in that disgusting classroom. Come on, please”, he was pouting and you laughed at the way he was trying to convince you. “We only have that one last class left anyway; it won’t hurt to skip once.”

“Alright, fine”, you laughed and closed your eyes as you enjoyed the sun shining down on your face.

“Come on, let’s go! I wanna go home”, he grinned and pulled you up to go out of campus. You shook your head to the exit of your university. As it was a warm spring day, you tried to convince your boyfriend not to go home but to one of your favorite spots in South Korea’s capital Seoul.

“Why do you wanna go there now? Can’t we just go home?”, he pouted.

“Because I haven’t been there for a while now! Also, don’t pretend like you don’t like it there”, you told him and grinned as he rolled his eyes, nodding.

“Alright, let’s go then”, he agreed and you put your hands on his cheeks, squeezing them before you planted a kiss on his pouty lips.

You went to the closest bus station that would lead you to the beautiful nature and calming space. You couldn’t understand why Yugyeom suddenly didn’t want to go there anymore since he always went there with you.

As your bus finally arrived, he took your hand and pulled you inside, taking out a facemask to cover up his face. You boyfriend was pretty known around as he was handsome and talented in his dance. Yugyeom loved to post some of his current projects on social media where he was known by a big fandom.

Obviously, he had to cover up his face and he handed you a mask over as well.

“Are you okay?”, you asked him and looked up on him. You kind of were worried that he really only wanted to go home because he wasn’t feeling well.

“Yes, I am. Why shouldn’t I be?”, he asked you and you shook your head as you smiled.

“No, it’s just… I didn’t want to force you to come with me. Don’t think that please, I thought it would be nice to get out of the busy city. We can go back if you don’t want to go”, you told him, slightly feeling bad that you forced him to go with you.

“You didn’t force me or anything, my love. Don’t worry, I’m okay. I just thought we would simply go home and watch a movie, order food or just sleep”, he explained and you sighed.

“Okay… but we’ll go home whenever you want to, yeah?”, you asked him and he hummed before he pulled you closer to himself, as you leaned your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and trying to relax. Somehow your boyfriend’s presence couldn’t calm you down as you started to think about your random anger towards Jungkook. You still didn’t understand what happened or why it happened.

Once your bus finally arrived at Namsan, the place you two were heading to.

“If we’re already here, let’s take some pics”, he grinned and handed you his phone, making you laugh out happily. Yugyeom really knew how to distract you. Yugyeom really was a handsome man. He didn’t have to try much and was looking good.

“Come on, there is a small bistro and I’m hungry”, you told him as you handed him his phone back. Yugyeom kissed you on your forehead before taking your hand again and taking you there. You both ordered simple ramen and waited for the food to arrive.

“Well, well, well. If that isn’t sweet Y/N and your dearest boyfriend. What are you guys doing here instead of going to your classes?”, someone asked you two. You turned around and looked up to Jungkook and a few other people you knew from university.

“That’s none of your business”, Yugyeom literally growled and got up.

“Calm down Kim, not everything is about you. This time we’re here because of sweet Y/N”, one of Jungkook’s companions said, putting his fingers on Yugyeom’s forehead and the young man collapsed right into his arms. You let out a scream as Yugyeom lost his consciousness. Only a few seconds later, you also lost your consciousness as the boy put his fingers on your forehead.

You woke up in an unknown room. You felt scared for a second so you sat up and looked around. It seemed like a normal room, not a hospital or anything else.

“Why the hell are you awake already? You shouldn’t wake up before I make you wake up”, someone murmured making you jolt up. It was the same guy who made Yugyeom to lose his consciousness.

“Who are you? Where is Yugyeom? What did you do to him?”, you screamed, suddenly you were furious. The anger you felt towards a boy you never met was driving you crazy and you quickly got up. Then you just attacked him.

The boy quickly pinned you down on the ground, making your groan in pain but your hatred made you feel stronger and you quickly turned the guy around and punched him a right hook. He groaned in pain as he felt how strong you actually were.

“Fuck you, how can you be stronger than I am?”, the young man said before someone started laughing.

“I’m wondering that, too. How can be this little girl so much stronger than you, hyung?”, you looked up as Jungkook started talking again. “She really hit you that hard that you started bleeding.” He laughed again and shook his head, getting closer to pull you up. You started to fight against his strong grip on your arm but it was useless; compared to Jungkook, the other guy was weaker.

“Come on hyung, that was funny”, he laughed and softly patted the elder’s head as he still tried to hold you back from Jimin easily with only one hand. You slowly grew tired and stopped fighting.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

The small room started being filled with more and more guys and you looked around terrified at all the unknown faces.

“Our dearest Y/N is one of them”, Jungkook announced. “She probably didn’t know herself. Did you, Y/N?”

“W-what? I don’t k-know what you’re talking about”, you stuttered. You really had no idea what Jungkook was talking about.

“Cute. You really didn’t know that you are one of Aphrodite’s children?”, he asked you and you almost choked on your spit as he said that. Then you started laughing.

“Aphrodite’s children?”, you laughed and shook your head. “Good joke. Now tell me why the hell you brought me to wherever we are right now.”

“It wasn’t a joke, though. I’m dead serious. You are one of Aphrodite’s children. Just like we are Poseidon’s children. We all are practically half-gods. You, too”, he explained and you shook your head.

“You’re delusional. You’re… You’re fucking crazy. Let me fucking go, you asshole. I want to go home”, you told him and tried to get away from Jungkook’s tight grip on your arm. He was stubborn and didn’t let go, he was much stronger than the guy who you first saw when you woke up.

“It’s all the truth, Y/N. It’s your blood that made me understand who you are”, he explained. “When Jimin hyung made you lose your consciousness, you still were able to get your consciousness back rather quickly. No one besides Aphrodite’s children are able to do that. They are rare but the strongest. However, you really want to tell me, you don’t know anything about your true self?”

“I don’t! For god’s sake, I fucking don’t know!”, you yelled, you started to get furious again. You didn’t know why you suddenly grew more impatient and were so aggressive towards the guys in the room. None of them besides Jungkook and Jimin had talked before.

“That’s enough, Jungkook. Don’t pressure her anymore. She should rest and I will talk to her later”, one of the guys said, you immediately looked at him and your features softened at his calming voice.

“But hyung” – “No but’s, Jungkook. Everyone gets the hell out of this room and let her rest. Or I promise you, it will not end up well”, the guy said and pushed everyone out of the room. Before he left, he added a “Please, sleep a little more. Anger isn’t the best for you to feel as it puts us in danger. I will wake you up for dinner.”

“Can I maybe know your name?”, you asked him and he nodded as he introduced himself:

“I’m Seokjin. Sleep well, Y/N”, he said before he left and closed the door.

You sighed as you looked around the room before you sat down on the bed. You didn’t know where you were or how to get out. So, you just laid down and soon, you fell asleep.

As you woke up again, you weren’t alone. Someone was kneeling right next to you, you jolted up from the bed, covering your body up even though you knew you were still completely dressed.

“What’s going on?”, you asked the girl and scooted away when she tried to touch you.

“Nothing, I’m just checking up on you”, she answered. You backed away as she tried to touch your forehead again.

“Leave me alone. I don’t even know you”, your voice was shaky and you tried to get away from the girl as much as possible. But then of course the bed had an end. You had no space to escape anymore.

“Hey, don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you or make you lose your consciousness like Jimin that idiot did. I’m his twin sister, Areum. I only want to check up on you. Will you let me touch your forehead for a second? It won’t hurt, sweetie”, she said and smiled at you softly. You immediately found her comforting and felt safe around her.

“Okay”, you said, still a little unsure. She smiled a little brighter and quickly put her fingers on your forehead. A soft warmth went through your body and you felt happier for a moment. That feeling left you as Areum pulled her fingers away from your forehead.

“Good, you’re doing well. I’m glad about that. Also, I’m going to kick my brother’s ass for using his powers for something as useless as making you lose your consciousness. That’s just… wrong in any kind of way”, Areum started babbling and you laughed as she rather was talking to herself than to you.

“Anyway, what’s your name? My brother nor my dumb cousins didn’t tell me”, she pouted and you smiled as you introduced yourself.

“Can you tell me what is going on here? I only remember how Jimin made Yugyeom lose his consciousness… wait… Yugyeom! Is he okay?”, you asked panicked.

“Don’t worry. He is alright. I just came from his room. You got one handsome boyfriend over there”, Areum grinned. You blushed a little.

“Can I see him? Or am I not allowed to leave this room?”, you asked her and she nodded.

“You can go. I’ll keep my brother and cousins away from you two”, she gave you her approval and you immediately got up and started running before you confusedly had to stop. You didn’t even ask where Yugyeom’s room was.

“Right next to you”, you got scared as someone suddenly stood behind you and you turned around. You saw Jungkook standing there, chuckling at the way you flinched.

“You really need to train your senses. That way you will be able to know that someone is right behind you. I’m surprised that you survived until now without having the proper senses to know you have your enemy right behind your back”, he told you.

“Your sweet boyfriend is right there. But I would recommend you to find out, if you can really trust him”, Jungkook said and smiled then softly.

“What do you mean?”, you asked him confusedly but he didn’t answer you. He just disappeared and your eyes weren’t even able to follow him, he was that quick. You couldn’t comprehend how quick he was.

You didn’t think any more of it and only entered the room Jungkook told you your boyfriend was in.

“Hey, baby”, he smiled and put his phone away to open up his arms. “Come here, I missed you.”

You giggled and smiled, jumping up on the bed; he immediately hugged you tightly, inhaling your scent as if he was scared to lose you.

“I was so scared”, he mumbled. “I thought, I wouldn’t see you ever again. I was so, so scared.” Yugyeom didn’t let you go. He was holding you so tightly, that you were scared he would crush your bones.

“Yug… please, you’re holding me too tightly”, you said as you tried to breathe in properly.

“Sorry, I just missed you. I thought they did something to you and I was so worried”, you smiled brightly and turned around, pecking his lips over and over again. “I was so scared.”

“Don’t worry, I’m okay”, you reassured him. “They told me I would be one of Aphrodite’s children but… I don’t know what they mean. Do you have any idea?”

“W-what? No, I have no idea what they possibly could mean”, he stuttered but you didn’t notice it.

“Okay… I’ll just ask Areum later”, you smiled and put your head on his chest, trying to relax.

“No… we should get the hell out of here. I don’t trust Jungkook or his family so we need to get out of here”, he insisted, started talking to convince you of how much of a bad feeling he had about Jungkook and his family.

“Alright, let’s go”, you smiled and got up from the bed; he followed you quickly after.

“Where do you think you’re going?”, Jungkook suddenly appeared in front of you again, scaring you once again.

“Out of here? I have my own home”, you told him confused, chuckling at his dumb question. “You didn’t think I would stay here, right?”

“I didn’t think so, I decided it myself. You’re staying here”, Jungkook said, not caring a little about what you had just told him. You couldn’t believe him; you were so mad suddenly and you simply couldn’t control your anger.

“Hey, calm down. I don’t want to get another right hook from you. You might not have trained your senses yet but you’re still stronger than me. That’s exactly why you have to stay here. You can’t even control yourself when I say something that you don’t like. I don’t even want to imagine what happens if anyone hurts you in some way”, Jungkook explained and you understood what he meant. Slowly, you calmed a bit down.

“Good… now you can go, you lying ass”, Jungkook said, directed to Yugyeom.

“I’m not leaving her alone with you”, Yugyeom almost started fighting Jungkook as he was called a ‘lying ass’.

“What do you mean?”, you interrupted them, looking at Yugyeom first, then at Jungkook. “What are you trying to tell me? You told me to be careful if I can trust him, now you call him a liar?! What is your problem, Jungkook?!”

“He is my problem. You have no idea what he is. He is one of those assholes, he is one of Apollo’s sons and is only using you to survive! No one dares to lay a hand on you so he uses you as his protection!”, Jungkook’s voice was loud and he was definitely mad.

“What? Yugyeom… is that true?”, you asked your boyfriend as you couldn’t believe what you just heard. Was Yugyeom really using you for protection only?

“No! Of course, it isn’t true! Yes, I might be a son Apollo’s but I am nothing like my family!”, he defended himself and grabbed your hand. “It is definitely not true!”

“Don’t believe him, Y/N. He’s been lying all the time to you. Why do you think is he trying to get you out of here? He is trying to keep you away from us! But you have to believe me! I usually never am like this but I am fucking begging you to stay the fuck away from him!”

You had no idea why but suddenly you believed him. There was this warm feeling inside of you again, just the same feeling as Areum had put her fingers on your forehead, as you heard his words. They just seemed so right to you.

“Do you believe me?”, he asked you, he was desperate at this point. You smiled brightly and nodded.

“Yes, I believe you”, you answered him. “I believe you, Jeon Jungkook. I don’t know why, but your words… they just seem so right. It is just the best feeling I’ve had in my whole life. I don’t know what this is.”

“You’re a truthteller. You can sense lies. Focus a bit. Now, dear Yugyeom. Do you have something to tell your girlfriend?” Jungkook seemed confident, he knew exactly that Yugyeom was lying.

Suddenly, he was gone. It felt like less than a second where Yugyeom had disappeared but soon was brought back when you blinked once.

“You’re quick, but I’m faster, you asshole. Now tell your beautiful girlfriend what bullshit you pulled off with her”, Jungkook smiled. He was so sure of himself and the fact that you were used for Yugyeom’s protection.

“Fuck, okay, I used you for my own protection! Yes, I did that. But I never lied about how I felt about you, Y/N. I love you and this is the fucking truth!”, he was practically yelling and you felt the comforting warmth in your body as you heard those words.

“He is telling the truth”, you said and sighed. Jungkook scoffed only.

“But that means you knew who I was. You knew that I was one of… you. But still, you didn’t tell me. I was walking in the dark, not knowing my real identity. Why didn’t you tell me? Why?!”, you asked him desperately.

“I couldn’t tell you! My parents forbid me to talk to you about it!”, he tried to explain himself but this time, he forgot about the fact that you could feel it in your bones when someone lied to you.

“You’re lying. You could tell me. You could have told me. But you didn’t”, you couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to lie to you. That’s when you realized something else. “Did you just say your parents?”

“No… well, yes, I said my parents but I meant my uncle and aunt. Because… you know they took care of me when my parents- “

“Don’t fucking lie to me anymore!”, you screamed. “Stop lying!”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, but I have to go”, Yugyeom said and disappeared again. This time, Jungkook didn’t move.

“I’m sorry that your boyfriend is a lying asshole”, he said and softly stroked over your cheek with his thumb. You couldn’t help but smile at his soft action.

“Why are you sorry? I’m all right, I’m just surprised that he actually did this whole thing but never said anything… he could’ve told me. I would’ve tried to kept it a secret, of course. Why would I say something like this to anyone else and put them in danger?”, you tried to understand Yugyeom but you had no argument that would make you understand his lies.

“I don’t know… you didn’t deserve this bullshit”, Jungkook just shrugged and sighed then. “We should get downstairs. Hoseok is probably already waiting for you.”

“Wait, who is waiting for me and why?”, you asked him confusedly, tried to hold him back when he had grabbed your hand and was leading you to some sort of studio.

“Hobi, one of my cousins. He will help you train your senses and powers. Believe me, he will get you to the point where you’ll be able to notice me from a mile away. He’s really good at what he does and he is a happy pill so you won’t get bored with him”, Jungkook explained and continued pulling you downstairs. He was leading you down to some kind of studio, at first glance, you thought it was a dance studio.

“Hello there, Y/N. I‘m Hoseok. It’s very nice to finally meet one of Aphrodite’s children”, he introduced himself. His words kind of offended you as you didn’t want to be reduced to your identity as one of the rare Aphrodite’s children.

“Don’t call me that. I’m more than just one of her children”, you fought back.

“Alright, dear. I didn’t want to offend you in any way. But as Jungkook probably already told you, I will be training your senses and powers.” He looked up to Jungkook. “What are you still doing here? Get the hell out of here”, Hoseok raised his hand and suddenly, Jungkook was moving backwards.

“H-hyung! Stop, alright, I’ll leave!”, Jungkook was already yelling at the older man and Hoseok only laughed. He lowered his hand and Jungkook stopped walking backwards. The younger boy disappeared within a single second.

“Damn, that was nice. Am I able to do that, too?”, you asked Hoseok, already feeling comfortable around the boy.

“Sadly, I don’t know that yet. I will have to find out but it might take a while. It could’ve been easier if your boyfriend didn’t run away because seems like, he can tell other’s powers”, Hoseok explained.

“What do you mean? Everyone has different powers? Why is that?”, you asked him confusedly.

“We don’t know why every single half-god has another power and different one, even if we’re from the same god. It just is a thing which happens by chance. But don’t worry, your powers will show themselves soon. You have to know that you can run faster, you’re stronger and that you’re healing quicker than normal humans. Maybe you have noticed that you never broke your arm or any other bone completely? Or the fact that your wounds closed quicker than those of other’s?“

“I didn’t know that”, you said. “I guess, I never noticed it.” Within the next second, you screamed out in pain as Hoseok cut your arm with a small knife. “What the fuck?!”

“Don’t get mad. Just watch”, he smiled and pointed at the now already closing wound. You were surprised as the wound was completely gone within the next few seconds. “See? This is just so normal. Your cells regenerate quicker than those of normal human, so your wounds close just as quick.”

“Tell me more, please. I don’t know anything about all this; it’s just so new for me”, you asked him.

“Alright then… I’m not much of the history guy, that’s Namjoon, so you’ll have to ask him later. I can tell you a little about the whole history and how the half-gods were created”, Hoseok smiled softly.

“Do you know the story of Helena and Paris?”, he asked you first. You shook your head, only knowing the names of those two persons in the Greek mythology but not their story.

“Summing up, Helena was the wife of Menelaos. But she fell in love with Paris. So, she ran away with him. Ran away with Paris and after her an army with Menelaos’ men. Helena was Zeus’ and Leda’s child, which made her Aphrodite’s sister. She ran away with him, not caring about the fact that she was putting a child in danger.

Later when she found out that she was pregnant, she was not accepted by the city she tried to hide as she was known as Menelaos’ wife and was expecting Paris’ child. She was protected and saved by her sister, Aphrodite. Aphrodite brought her to Paris, telling him about the child. To protect her niece, she gave Helena the Cestus, her necklace which would protect them both.

Helena gave birth to a beautiful girl. She was just as beautiful as her mother was and just as beautiful as her aunt was. Aphrodite made sure that all descendants of Helena would look just alike her and that it would be all girls. This is why you are rare. You have no one besides your mother and maybe your grandmother. You guys are so rare that I am surprised that Yugyeom managed to find you. But Jungkook was right with one thing: he only used you. Those who are descendants of Aphrodite are so special and important; you guys keep the emotion love alive.

As the city Helena tried to find comfort at attacked her, Aphrodite cursed them that if anything would happen to any of you, love, affection, it would all disappear from this world. No one would dare to hurt you. And we don’t intend on doing that”, he explained everything briefly.

“And why was there this anger and hatred I felt towards Jungkook whenever I saw him and why don’t I attack you anymore like I did before?”

“Honestly, I don’t know either. The hatred and anger start off with the murders that happened during the war for Helena but Namjoon will tell you more about this, I promise. I’m not much into history”, he chuckled lightly.

“That’s… a lot to process”, you sighed and shook your head. “So, it’s important that I stay safe. How can I trust you all? I don’t even know you.”

“You have no other choice, dear. You need to trust us”, Hoseok simply said, as if trusting someone you used to hate was the easiest thing. It wasn’t. But did you have another chance? No. That was what Hoseok told you and you knew he was telling the truth. You felt it deep in your heart.

You had to trust him or there wouldn’t be something called ‘love’ in this world anymore.

@viopera

#kafeholiday20 #bts #bts fanfiction #bts angst #bts fluff #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader

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fanfalc-616 · 3 years

Text

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.

#the rights of a nindroid #ninjago zangst #zangst #ninjago fanfiction #psychological torture #torture #trauma

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

#tgcf liveblog #so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles

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clumsyracconking · 3 years

Text

A villain

Ch.8 (1049 words)

Same warnings but this one contains a bit of self destructive behaviour and a character going mute

Tags: @imacowboy3 @magical-girl-04 @rachi-roo-bnha (I figure that’s just more convenient to tag)

After Hawks had showered and sat for a bit he decided to come out of the bathroom not for any reason other than that he knew Dabi was cooking, Dabi was a shitty person but the man could cook, though he never took praise for it knowing the information he did now Hawks figured it was because he taught his younger siblings or his mother taught him, Hawks really didn’t think Endeavor had the capacity to teach someone anything other than hate.

Dabi had accepted that whenever they went out like that he wouldn't get laid, he knew whenever they went out like that Hawks would be in a mood either wanting nothing to do with the world and not taking out his headphones for days or getting high off his ass, sometimes it was both, but Hawks still asked to go out. Hawks knew what he wanted, he wanted to pretend the world didn’t exist, he wanted to pretend he hadn't just killed peoples mothers, fathers, brothers, friends, lovers, he wanted to pretend that he wasn't bred to do this, he wanted to pretend most of all that he had not enjoyed it.

Being in that basement alone with his thoughts hadn't broken Hawks but it had certainly changed him, he had a conscience again which wasn't the most practical thing considering his new line of work. Maybe he could just organize stuff for the people who left the L.o.V, he knew that wouldn't work something kept pulling him back to the streets and alleyways, something kept dragging him back to the feeling of a harded feather in his hand ripping through flesh and bone.

“Are you gonna eat?” Dabi asked Hawks quietly, Dabi was really trying not to set Hawks off, Dabi could tell something in Hawks’ brain was different now, almost as if the gears in it were moving faster and clanking together more than they had before. Dabi had never been able to read Hawks and he hated that, but now more than ever he wished he could. Neither of the two really knew what they were relationship wise, they were friends they went out got high together murdered together, but at the end of the day they always slept in the same bed spooning till the early hours of the morning sometimes fucking, more often just laying there in silence they did that a lot almost as if they didnt have anything to talk about, but that wasn’t it there were just never enough words to vocalize what they needed to say, so they just layed there.

Hawks was silent for days, not talking only ever communicating with a shrug or nod of the head. Hawks wouldn't do much but just sit on the little couch in the apartment, Dabi still had to go and make sure Toga hadn't burned down his club, he made sure there was food in the fridge for Hawks, surprisingly Hawks hadn't tried to revert back to popping pills, instead smoking twice as much and never taking off his headphones, but Dabi could work with that. Hawks definitely wasn't stable enough for Dabi to bring him to kill Endevor but Dabi also acknowledged Hawks deserved revenge, so he would wait. Hawks couldn't bring himself out of his own head he couldn't get his mouth to move when he wanted to talk, he wanted nothing more than to go into the bathroom and take all the pills, but he knew he couldn't let Endevor out live him he refused to let that happen, he wouldn't let him win. All his problems wouldn't be solved with Endeavor's death but he thought it would definitely be a start.

He didn't like when Dabi had to go to the club there was too much possibility for Hawks to go on autopilot again. So he would find Toga and the two would go out for a kill or five, but usually the two would just go up to a roof or just go around, sort of like how Dabi and Hawks did but different.

Hawks loved Toga, once he got past her stabby urges she was a lovely person to be around, the two would sit for hours as Hawks braided her hair sometimes painting her nails sometimes just sitting with a song on loop.

It took weeks to get a full sentence out of Hawks, and it wasn't even Dabi who he had been talking to. It was Toga, Hawks had always treated her and seen her like a little sister and she was scared at his lack of speech. It happened one night while Toga and Hawks were sitting in an old drained city pool, it had great acoustics, she had been singing the songs she and Hawks had on. His mind couldn't bear to see Toga so disappointed in his silence somehow that broke Hawks out of it he couldn't not sing with her, it was like muscle memory. The two spent the night in that drained pool, Hawks knew they would be back.

Toga had a thing for liminal spaces and let's face it so did he, the two were similar on many levels maybe that's why they got along so well, maybe that’s why she was the one who was able to get him to talk. Dabi was elated when he got home and saw Hawks talking to Toga both sitting on the couch, they were talking about a new boy Toga had her eye on, Hawks of course was trying to reason her out of kidnapping him. Dabi wanted to get her out of their apartment as soon as possible.

“Toga get out please” she wasn't happy but at least he had used his manners for once, so she left, leaving Dabi and Hawks alone.

“That was kinda rude Dab’s” Hawks knew what was coming and he was trying to avoid it.

“I’d tell you to shut up but God did I miss your voice” Dabi missed other things but he knew tonight wasn't the night for that, or maybe it was he started to think as he sat down and Hawks pulled him in for a kiss threading his hands through Dabi’s hair and flopping onto his back.

#tw swearing #my writing #mha hawks #mha #dabi

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echoisfailing · 4 years

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Robin Story Part 3

(A/N) okayy so this got a little a tiny bit of Shameless season 1? I think it was were Monica comes back and make Fiona feel like shi but on the bright side robin is actually in this part so i can only do my best (am aware i said id do no angst for right now but i also didn't expect to get into a series so) Also v sorry cuz im really bad at capturing already made characters so Robin might not be herself but shes confident around Steve but i honestly dont think she would be at school especially around someone she liked.Warning:Homophobia!!!!!

Word count 1573 posted on 8-20-20

I take a deep breath before calling the last number I have for my parents. It rings about three times before I hear her voice. It should feel like a breath of fresh air but instead i get choked up. But i don't have that type of time so i swallow it and after her 3rd hello i say. “Mom, it urgent you and dad need to get here or you are gonna get in serious trouble and we might be taken. You know where we live the cops come on the 25th. See you before then.” I say and hang up. I didn't even let her talk who knows i may have been breaking up. She may not care. All we do now is pretend everything is okay. I decide to tell Michelle and we collectively decide to not tell Eric unless something is actually going to happen. So we go about our weekend like we do every week and on Monday we put on a false face. I walked into school straight to my locker where I saw Scarlet waiting. “Ugh, finally my weekend sucked, my mom made me go to a family reunion.” She grunted. I chuckled and opted out of telling her to make sure it didn't sound like I was trying out do her or something. We walked into first period and took our seats. And we went through all the classes normally until I got to 5th period chemistry. As soon as the bell rings our teacher tells us we are going to be put into groups of three for our lab. She lets us decide so I obviously choose Scarlet. “Maybe we should pick her she doesn't have a group.” She says pointing at Robin. “Okay, whatever.” I sputter out what am i supposed to say no please dont because if we do then i might turn into a blushing mess out myself. “Hey come be with us.” She calls out to her. “O-okay.” she mutters and walks over with her stuff. “I’m Scarlet. This is (Y/N). What's your name?” She chimed. “I’m Robin.” She says waving her hand. “What’d you do this weekend?” Scarlet asked, she is always really outgoing. “Not much i got a couple call backs to jobs but none of them really seem that good. what about you two?” She asked. “Nothing. I had to go to a family reunion which by the way who has a reunion before summer like our annual is in July but this year was May.” She finished her rant. “Not much just stayed home with my brother while my sister was out.” I answered. “Any job call you back?” She asked. “No i just applied at the one place, probably for the best.” We all went on talking as we did our project. She makes me super nervous, i keep on looking up at her just to see her face. Hoping that no one notices. But what i did notice is she has this blush she never has. The way she smiles at Scarlet almost makes me think she might like her. But that's impossible right I mean what's the odds of that? As we were cleaning up I heard her ask Scarlet. “Can i get your number? So we can like hang out outside of school?” Scarlet smiles and writes her name and number down on a piece of notebook paper. I was hoping she would ask for mine but she just went on like i didnt exist well no she talked to me and acknowledged me but not like she did Scarlet. When the bell rang I walked out with Scarlet and once we got half way towards her next class which i have to pass to get to mine she started chuckling. “Did you see her. She was practically drooling over me. It was hilarious.” She said still chuckling. “I didn’t notice.” I said which was kinda a lie. “One girl that was on her soccer team told me that Robin told her that she liked her. So it's not too far to think maybe. And then at the very end she asked for my number. I gave her Pizza Huts. That's so gross. Not to mention wrong.” She said making me feel like shit actual shit. “Well just in case it isn't true don't go around telling people. Don't want her to be ruined and it not be true.” I tried to reason. “Yeah, you are so right. Always my voice of reason. Bye, See you tomorrow.” She said going into her next class. God I hope I run into her before she calls. But will it help? I mean she’ll be embarrassed but will it make it worse if I tell her? Writing a note will obviously do no good because I have no balls. 6th and 7th period went by fast and just my luck i saw her headed to the band hall no doubt. “Hey Robin, I know I don’t know you like that and Scarlet will probably hate me for this. But when you asked for her number she gave you a fake one i'm so sorry.” I said then walked away really fast. When I got home there was a car in the driveway so I got off my bike and made sure Eric did too and we walked in the house, him behind me. Michelle was waiting by the door. She gave me a look saying it's them. I turned around. “Hey, remember how you said you missed momma and daddy? Well they are here but i don't know how long they are going to stay okay bud.” I told him before I opened the door he nodded but had a huge smile on his face that told me that he only heard his parents are home. Who can blame him. We walked in and mom shrieked “You are home! (Y/N) you have a call. Michelle you get more beautiful every time I see you. And my boy my baby!” I walked to the phone and rolled my eyes. She always does that always seem excited to see them but never me. I think she blames me because i was her first im what catapulted her into feeling bad for not being home. I put the phone up to my ear. “Hello?” I said. “Really you warned her are stupid? Or worse a F*****?” Scarlet shouted at me. “No, I just felt bad she didn’t deserve that even if she is you know.” I said. “Yes she does because it is an abomination. Its wrong and how dare she try to get my number?” She growled. “I disagree. Even if it is an abomination you are supposed to love everyone and being hateful because of one thing is also such.” I argued. “Oh my god, you are ruined. You have a crush on her! Have you ever had a crush on me. No dont answer and in fact dont ever talk to me again l*z*y.” She shouted, hanging up. Well this day couldnt get any better. “So as soon as this is over and you turn 18 you are out. You know that right?” My dad said. “Uh no? I didn’t can i get a reason?” I asked bewildered. “You called the cops on us and tried to get your siblings put into foster care did you seriously think we wouldn't know it was you. You have been ungrateful from the second you could understand things!” He shouted at me. “Do you seriously think i would do anything to put those kids out? Seriously. I raised them! You wanna kick me out fine but just remember who raised your kids. You realize I'm also your child right? You were supposed to love and protect me instead you left me all alone at 12 with kids to raise.” I calmly said, trying to remain calm. “Even if you didn’t, which I highly doubt, you still don't deserve the roof I give you, the food i pay for, or the clothes on your back which I so graciously allow you to have.” He said almost threateningly. “So what you put me out and then it’ll be Michelle whats gonna happen when you have no one to watch poor Eric?” I said mocking him a little. “When me and your mom leave again on the 1st we are taking Eric with us.” He informed. “No you can’t do….” I started. “No you cant tell me what to do with my son.” he interrupted. “Like hell i can't. He knows me! He trust me! He misses you two because you come with false promises and then it ruins him when you leave again! And you cant take him because hes going to a science camp. Which he got into for free all by himself by winning 2nd place in his science fair and if he cant go it will hurt him.” I stated. “Well then we will just pick him up after camp on July 1st like we were gonna do.” He said with a sickly sweet smile on his face. “2 things. No you wont and thats also not what you said.” I snarkily replied. “Jesus Christ get out i dont want to see your face until 11. Now Get!” He yelled. So I left I got on my bike and headed to the mall.

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley #stranger things #stranger things imagine

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harryseyebrows · 4 years

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so here’s my peace on the article, not that anyone asked. and im sure i’ll get shouted at BUT, here goes.

i think the very nature of fandom is to direct a lot of time, energy, emotions into a single entity, whether that be a person, group, book, show, etc. i think its safe to assume that in most cases, we enjoy that particular entity because it appeals to us, and perhaps on some level, an element of it/them rings true with a part of ourselves. i joke and say that we didnt pick harry and instead he chose US, harry potter sorting hat style. but what i think is that it speaks (potentially) to something deeper: that there’s an unspoken feeling, instinct, etc that drew us to him, and has kept us here this long.

when you put that type of energy into someone (someone who feels larger than life a lot of the time, but we must remember that he’s a real human person with a life and feelings and sides of himself that we might never be privy to), i think it’s only natural to have some unrealistic expectations and wants regarding aspects of that person. what’s unique (or not that unique, i dont know as i dont follow anyone else as closely as i do him) about a sizable chunk of harry’s fan is that a lot of us are lgbt. and with that comes a whole slew of very complicated feelings. a lot of us know better than anyone what its like to totally hate the idea of someone prying into your personal life. the uncomfortableness that comes with someone asking you a question where you know the answer you give is going to affect how they see you. we know what it’s like to desperately want some type of representation; the sheer joy of finding out that someone you admire is like you in some way. and grappling with feelings that are seemingly on opposite ends of a spectrum of happiness and anger isnt easy. at our cores, i would like to hope that we’re all decent people (and while im here, being lgbt does not make you exempt from criticism or being shitty, despite what some might like to think) who have a firm grasp of understanding on how invasive and unnecessary it is for people to be picked apart about their sexuality/gender; that a person should be allowed to exercise autonomy and say ‘im not obligated to explain myself or how i feel’. however, i do think that a part of human nature, from the time we learn to speak and pester people with questions of ‘why’ and ‘how’, that we’re often insatiably curious. we like definitive answers. we like having something tangible to hold onto. throw in the undeniably confusing phenomena that seems to surround the concept of celebrity, where once a person becomes famous, their whole life and self should be available for public consumption at all times, and you have a cocktail for some weirdness.

i have found myself guilty of being frustrated by harrys...aloofness. his desire for ambiguity. ‘why doesnt he just say SOMETHING’ or ‘i would like a more clear answer’ pop up frequently, usually when quotes and interviews like these arise and stir up feelings that are usually more dormant and placid. but, then i take a step back. and remember that im not entitled to anything. none of us are. we’re very luck he shares with us the things he does. ive come to realize that there is nothing more authentic than his palpable trepidation whenever the subject of sexuality is brought up. how would i feel, in his shoes? probably not very good. i wouldn’t want to be needled and questioned. i haven’t even told my parents about how i identify, never mind the whole world. ive also been guilty of questioning the vague nature of his quotes. text is a funny medium--tone can be interpreted many ways when youre not hearing the person speak, when youre not able to see their expressions. ive thought ‘maybe im projecting too much. maybe he actually means this’ re: ‘ive never felt the need to label myself’. and, as much as anyone doesnt want to hear it, there’s still the possibility that we could be reading it wrong, and thats okay too. but harry asking ‘why’ regarding the reason behind being asked in the first place, saying that its not a case of sitting on an answer to keep it from people, saying ‘who cares?’ needs to be taken for what it is.

i understand, selfishly, where the interviewer was coming from with ‘unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling lgbtq crumbs that lead to nowhere.’ it perhaps could’ve been handled more delicately, and i think its definitely a tad aggressive when harry seemed done with the question already, but i get the sentiment. and that just brings me back to my original point: that we know what the boundaries are, we have the understanding that harry doesnt owe us any explanations, but we’re still curious. ive seen a lot of people upset that the question was even asked, people upset that they didn’t get the answers they might have been after, and people asserting that they know the real truths behind harry’s words/thoughts/actions. there’s hope for 2 of those 3 groups. for the first, i try to remind myself that harry has a good head on his shoulders. he knows how to stand up for himself (this interview proved what we already knew). his words alone have filled me with a sense of confidence that he simply does not give a fuck about what other people think or say. for the second group, if youre feeling a little stung, i want you to think about why. why is it so important to you that he say one thing or another; your priority should be yourself. stop putting so much stock into the identity of others. wanting to connect and share a thread with another person is totally natural, but you have to remember that harry is a real person who isn’t existing to support you or be a performance of your hopes and desires re: what you want from him. step back and reflect. sometimes its not the initial thoughts, but how you change and learn. as for the third group, if youre not harry styles or have not been informed via harry styles himself about anything regarding his identity, you dont know shit. you can interpret things any way you want, but don’t make sweeping statements and pretend to be enlightened when youre no better than the people who assume he’s straight, no matter how you justify it to yourself under the guise of support and understanding. and that’s all i have to say

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noodlecupcakeswritings · 4 years

Text

With A Heavy Heart - Chapter 9 (A Kylo RenxCora fic)

The long awaited sequel to A Call to the Light. Cora and Ben’s relationship is non existent after Ben murdered his father but with Cora being pregnant, Bens trying his hardest to make things work. It’s not as easy as he would have liked.

I’m so sorry this took me forever to write, but with how bad TLJ was it really put me off writing this for a while. Needless to say theres gonna be some big differences in this fic. Please leave comments, kudos and reblogs if you like it. It really helps me out as a writer, lemme know if you wanna be on the taglist as well :)

Warnings: More angst, More feels, More sadness, More miscarriage stuff, Major blood and gore, Snokes an asshole, Language, Violence, Slight self harm, Greif

Chapter 9

Kylo’s P.O.V

I checked the time, I had a few more hours before I had to meet Cora at the med bay for her seven month check up. Everything was going well; Kendra was healthy and lively. Cora of course was exhausted from all this, she just wanted her out. I wanted her out for different reasons. I was excited for the due date, excited to hold my daughter for the first time. I made my way to the bridge, I wanted to check if they'd found any more survivors from the resistance wreckage. See if my mother had indeed gotten away to safety. I reached the corridor and stopped dead in my tracks. Something was wrong with Cora; I could feel it through our force bond. I took off running in her direction. She let out a scream that made my blood run cold, a scream I never wanted to hear from her again.

I found a trail of blood before I found her. It was smeared across the floor and the wall as if she'd been crawling. She was being carried away by two officers on a stretcher, Hux was with her. I raced over, calling her name. When I reached them, I took her hand in mine, looking down at her. She was too pale, her eyes now a dull shade of green instead of the usual bright colour. She was weak, barely coherent. She managed to squeeze my hand gently as if to try and reassure me. “What happened? Are you alright? Can you hear me? Is the baby okay? Did someone hurt you?” I threw these questions at her, needing some kind of response from her. She lay there silently, probably in too much pain to speak. I turned my attention to Hux, asking him mostly the same questions. “I don’t know Ren, I found her bleeding and calling for help. I wasn’t going to just leave her there,” Hux answered, refraining from sounding too annoyed.

We finally reached the infirmary where Cora was taken to a private room and placed down on the bed. Doctors, nurses and droids went to work, hooking her up to the medical equipment. I remained where I was, determined to stay with her. There was no way I was leaving her alone. She needed me. I needed her. I was afraid if I left it would be the last time, I’d see her, that then I would truly be alone. “Commander you can’t be in here,” one of the nurses calmly spoke. “I’m not leaving her!” I snapped. “We have to operate on her, and we can’t have you in here where you could potentially get in the way. I’m sorry.” “Ren their right. You have to wait outside.” Hux agreed. I glared at him, the last thing I needed was his fucking opinion. He sighed as I continued to stand my ground. “The more time you waste the less time they will have to save her. You will wait outside and let them do what they need too,” Hux continued as if lecturing a child.

I hated to admit he was right. I caved and left the room. I waited outside, unable to sit still. I paced back and forth whilst I waited. Hux had taken a seat, his arms folded over his chest and one leg crossed over the over. I should be in there; I should be with her. I was useless out here…or perhaps I was completely useless in this situation and that’s what was bothering me. Or maybe it was the not knowing. I didn’t know what was wrong with her and Kendra, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know if both of them would make it. I was terrified. None of it made sense, both of them had been healthy. That amount of blood didn’t made sense, it amazed me how she’d even gotten so far down the corridor when she’d lost so much blood. It struck me as odd as to why Hux was still here with me, why he hadn't gone back to his duties yet. “Why are you still here?” I asked him. Hux shrugged, “regardless of the sides we’re on she needed my help and I gave it. Please don’t think that I actually care for the pair of you. Plus I feel it would be unwise to leave you alone currently.”

After a few hours of waiting finally a doctor exited the room. I read his expression and felt my stomach drop. He looked fearful to break bad news to me. He knew I’d likely kill him on the spot in my rage. I began to think the worst, I’d lost both of them. “Cora survived the surgery but unfortunately there was nothing we could do to save the baby. I’m very sorry commander,” he explained. I swallowed hard, doing my best to keep my cool. “I want to see her, I want to see my daughter,” I spoke. “Ren, I don’t think-“ Hux began. I cut him off with the force, choking him and shooting him a warning glare. The doctor looked like he wanted to agree with Hux, but he didn’t want to be the focus of my wrath. I released my hold on Hux as the doctor caved in, holding the door open for me. I entered the room, glancing over at Cora first.

She was okay, the machine letting out a steady beat to signify her heartbeat. She was sleeping and probably wouldn’t wake up for a few hours. I expected to see a nurse carrying a blanketed bundle but there was none. “I want to pre warn you commander, we have no idea what happened, but we’ve never seen something like this before. Are you sure you want to see her?” The doctor asked. “I’m sure.” He led me to the opposite side of the room where two nurses stood over a portable examine table. I was afraid of what I was going to see, but I had to know. The doctor cleared the room of any medical staff before leaving himself. There on the small metal table lay Kendra. I stepped closer, unable to look away even though I knew I should. My baby had been crushed to death. She was covered in blood and placenta. My legs wanted to give out, my throat was thick as I held back tears.

Snoke had done this. This hadn't been a miscarriage, this had been murder. This was punishment for my failure to kill Cora. I felt like I should hold her small body, cradle her. I wanted to reach out and have her tiny fingers wrap around one of my larger ones. But I’d never get that. She was never going to grow; I was never going to hear her first words or see her take her first steps. I glanced back at Cora. I couldn’t let her see Kendra like this. It was an image that would haunt me until I died, she didn’t need that as well. I had to make the heartless decision of denying Cora from seeing her daughter, from holding her. I had to spare her from that pain. Kendra’s body would need to be removed and disposed of delicately. We couldn’t even fucking burry our child properly. I turned away from Kendra’s body, I couldn’t bear to look at her anymore. I exited the room, finding the doctor and Hux waiting outside still. Hux seemed weary of my next move, probably afraid I was going to start trashing the place in a fit of rage. I sat down in one of the chairs before my legs could give out on me. Just one more step and I could leave and take a moment for myself.

“I don’t want Cora to see her like that. If she asks you keep telling her no. In the meantime the body needs to be delicately disposed of,” I forced the words out, somehow managing to keep my tone even. “Should we make burial arrangements?” The doctor asked. “No. Just get it done.” He hurried off to find some nurses that would help him. I forced myself to my feet and headed for the infirmary’s exit. I continued walking down the corridors of the finalizer until I picked a room at random. One of the storage rooms. I locked the door behind me and now that I was alone, I allowed my rage to completely consume me. I destroyed everything in my path and then went to work on the four walls. Eventually I collapsed amongst the wreckage, sobbing aloud. Crates were broken and littered the floor, the contents of each crate completely destroyed. The walls were covered in burn marks from my saber, wires hung loose and broken from the ceiling. Yet it wasent enough, it would never be enough until I killed Snoke.

Yet if I went to the throne room now, he’d still win. I had to wait until he least suspected it. I had to risk Cora’s life and hope he didn’t try and take her from me again. I had to kneel and pretend everything was fine when it was the complete opposite. I couldn’t help but feel at fault for this situation. If I’d been stronger, if I’d trained harder then maybe Snoke wouldn’t have murdered my child and tried to murder Cora. I never should have gone to him for guidance. I never should have let Cora get so deeply involved, I should have done all I could to keep her safe even if that meant letting her go. This was all my fault. I made her stay here with me, with people that wanted to see her dead, to see her suffer and now one of them had succeeded. I’d been so selfish. So desperate for her love and affection that I didnt think of the pain I could cause her. I grabbed two handfuls of my hair and pulled hard desperate to inflict some kind of pain on myself. I deserved it. There had been so many opportunities for me to let her go, let her be safe and happy but I’d been too narcissistic to do so.

Eventually I calmed down a little, enough to leave the room and go back to Cora. I had to be there when she woke up, when the news was broken to her that our child had not survived. I sat by her, waiting for her to wake up. I was anxious about telling her but the longer she slept the more that anxiety grew. Finally after a few more hours of waiting, Cora slowly came too. She made a small sound and I got to my feet, so she didn’t have to move. I hesitantly took her hand in mine, making sure to be careful so that I wouldn’t cause her further pain. I didn’t know how I was supposed to tell her, how I could force those words out. She studied me for a little while, trying to read my expression. Her free hand went to her stomach to feel for Kendra. I noticed the way her face dropped as she could no longer feel her. Tears ran down her cheeks silently. I carefully sat her up and pulled her into a hug. I didn’t need to tell her, she knew. Cora sobs grew in volume until she was shrieking hysterically, another sound I didn’t want to hear again.

I did my best to keep it together for her. I’d had my moment, now she needed hers. I did my best to offer her comfort but didn’t say a word. There wasn’t anything to say, she needed to get through this at her own pace no matter how long it took. Soon enough she was shivering against me, having run out of tears and screams. I stroked her hair, trying to calm her a little. “I want to see her,” she whispered. Of course she had to request the one thing I’d feared. Now I was going to look completely heartless for denying her this if only to spare her from the haunting image of our daughters’ corpse, spare her from more pain. I didn’t want her pain to be directed at me, I didn’t want her pain to drive a wedge between us once more because then Snoke would have truly won. I held her at arm’s length, trying to remain strong.

“If the circumstances were different, I wouldn’t deny you that right,” I spoke softly, trying to sound calm. Cora looked at me like I’d just struck her across the face, I could feel an argument was heading my way. “She’s my fucking child Ben, I want to see her!” She snapped. “I’m sorry Cora but you can’t, it’s too much.” She glared at me with so much hatred in her eyes that I almost faltered. I almost gave in and gave her what she wanted all so she would stop looking at me like that. “Cora, please don’t fight me on this. I saw her and I wish I hadn't, I wish that wasn’t the only mental image of our daughter that I have but it is. And I have to live with that. You’re in enough pain, please don’t put yourself in more.” “You know who did this, don’t you? Snoke killed our child Ben, he tried to kill both of us.” “I know.” “And what have you done about it? Nothing! What will it take before you wake up? Do I have to fucking die?”

I cupped both her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. Forcing her to just stop for a second and think. “You really think I’m going to let him get away with this? You really think I haven’t thought about going into that throne room and killing him for what he’s done?” I asked. “Then why isn't he dead?” “Because he’ll be expecting me. If I kill him Cora, I have to do it when he’s least expecting it, when he’s the least prepared. But I promise you he will not get away with this. I will make him suffer for what he’s done.” “If you don’t, I’ll do it myself.” I knew that was a promise. She pulled the sheet off herself and sat up properly without the support of the bed. I frowned at her. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I can’t just sit here; I need to start training again.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and was preparing to stand herself up. I put a hand on her shoulder.

“You need to rest first. You’re still recovering from surgery. You shouldn’t be moving for a while,” I explained, hoping she would back down. She didn’t and forced herself up to her feet, making a small sound at the effort. I didn’t want to force her back down and inflict any pain on her, but I did need to stop her from hurting herself. Coras legs were shaking as she reached for me to steady herself. She stumbled as I reached for her. Luckily, I caught her, but I could still see the pain she’d caused herself. She winced, gritting her teeth as she tried to remain quiet. She began to cry again whether it be from the pain or the emotional trauma…perhaps it was both. I gently helped her back into bed where she only seemed to grow more frustrated with her weakness. I understood that frustration, the need to be better, to work through the pain. She’d helped me through those times, now we needed to help each other. I stroked her hair, hoping to try and calm her once more. “Please rest. I don’t want you doing more damage to yourself. The more you rest the quicker you’ll heal,” I explained. She huffed and rolled on her side, facing away from me out of stubbornness. She knew I was right; she just didn’t want to admit it. I sat back down, staying with her in case she needed me. Or I needed her.

Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @belathora, @sweetsec-93, @cltex84, @momobaby227, @jana-banana-fana, @dark-night-sky-99, @kylosupremeimagines, @vampirewithbedsidemanners

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rogueninja · 4 years

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Okay so we all know who your top ships are... who are your unpopular ships? Or obscure ships? What characters from what series do you think about often in either good or bad ways? Who is a character that you hate that others love? If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

Ok I am digging through my brain right now bc if I’m not able to hyperfixate on something then I tend to forget I even liked it. Ok buckle in bc this is gonna be long af. YOU ASKED FOR THIS, REG.

I’m putting a readmore so as not to torture my followers lol

Thinking about Veronica Mars. About Veronica/Logan. Do they have a ship name?? But I love that show and i was THERE for them. They were kind of a surprise ship for me, in that when they got together I was like, wait, WHAT? Like I was totally caught off guard. But there first kiss is, like, sooo romantic to me haha. It’s my fave scene in the show. But Logan is suck a prick sometimes. And they break up like every five minutes. And every season Logan gets accused of murder which of course he ends up not being the murderer. And they get back together eventually and I’m like really? But deep down I am rooting for them lol. I really enjoyed the new season of Veronica Mars that came out last year, actually. The ending made me SO SAD THO.

I also used to watch Supergirl and I thought Kara and Mon-El were adorable. He was very Carswell Thorne-esque, RH, I *think* you would like him. I never watched past season 3(?) though, and he shoots off into space and I never caught up so a few months ago I actually googled what happens and [spoiler] he ends up marrying someone else in the future or something so I was like, ok I’m not investing any more time in this show lol. (Also I had to google Mon-El’s name just now bc i forgot which is a bad look BUT I WAS REALLY RIDE OR DIE FOR THEM FOR A WHILE lol). Also I loved Martian Manhunter in this show, he was my favorite character. But the CGI for him was awful, omg. He had practical makeup at first, they should have just stuck with that.

Speaking of Martian Manhunter, I also used to watch Young Justice and loved Miss Martian/Superboy. Am I basic??? lol oop. But I love basic love stories. Anyway, I thought they were super cute. In season 3 though they’re kind of on the rocks. I haven’t watched season 4. I also loved Artemis/Wally West, but of course that had to end tragically.

Also, let’s talk about Nightcrawler. Allow me to set the scene. Little Kat is 13 and just rediscovered the cartoon she saw a few times as a kid called X-Men: Evolution. And thus, a weird obsession with the German, blue demon boy began. I loved Kurt Wagner. In the cartoon he starts a relationship with Amanda Sefton and I thought they were a-dor-a-ble. She accepted him for who he was, and they had a really nice healthy relationship. A lot of ppl shipped him with Kitty too which i am honestly all for idec I JUST WANT THE BLUE BOI TO BE HAPPY.

Can we talk about A:TLA too??? Like, obviously Zutara, amiright? Power couple. Like, Kataang is.. fine, but its probably my least favorite part about the ending, haha. Also, consider: Tokka. Toph is bae and can get anyone she wants, and she clearly had kind of a crush on Sokka and I think they could have been awesome. It actually kills me that they never say who Lin and Suyin’s father is in LoK. I had a whole theory that it was that kid The Duke from Jet’s band based on like 2 scenes from the series. There’s a tumblr post I made about it somewhere in the ether lol.

I also just remembered Tahnorra (Tahno/Korra) from Legend of Korra. It’s hard for me to explain this one. It’s a weird combination of being hyperfixated on the first season of the show when it came out, and I think I stumbled upon some fic or something???? And I thought Tahno was hot or something??? And FUN FACT, he was voice by Rami Malek BEFORE HE WAS COOL. So like before Rami really got big I knew who he was. He also basically played the Avatar in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and I thought that connection was hilarious. It was kind of a problematic crack pairing but there was one author in particular whom i follow to this day hoping she’ll update her Tahnorra fics…. *sigh*

Okay one last ship…. I used to be ride or die for Outlaw Queen in Once Upon a Time (aka Regina/Robin Hood). Like, before TLC, I had a personal tumblr renaissance for that ship alone. My only existing published fanfic is for that ship. Taylor Swift’s 1989 came out that year and I related every dang song to that ship. I loved Regina so much and I just wanted her to be happy. That show is a dumpster fire, though, and spat all over my hopes and dreams. *sigh*

Also, lightning round for obscure pairings I ship and/or never talk about:

Frank Castle/Karen Page (The Punisher) ok this one isnt that obscure but I never talk about it… but the pining, oh god the pining

Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (GoT) THEIR 5 SECONDS TOGETHER ARE THE ONLY WORTHY PART OF SEASON 8. everything after that never happened

I already listed Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (FMAB) as a top pairing previously but I feel the need to mention it again bc it was for real my OG OTP… LIKE U WANNA TALK ABOUT PINING…. *sobs*

Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) This used to be my fave book series and i loved how their relationship developed over the course of the books

Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) ok can we TALK ABOUT THIS??? They were both badass misfits and they were perfect for each other. But noooo JKR has to announce they marry some nobodies…. this is the only change the last movie did right

Midna/Link (Zelda: Twilight Princess) I honestly have no explanation for this lol

Qui-gon Jinn and Shmi (Star Wars) CAN U IMAGINE if anakin had a proper father figure and didnt have to abandon his mother to slavery

Obi-wan/Satine…. (Star Wars: The clone Wars) we know whats up

OK, to answer some of your other questions: character I hate that others love. HMMMM…….

This one seems too easy/obvious but Professor Snape? Like obviously there’s already a ton of discourse surrounding this but he was gross, mistreated his students for years, committed atrocities, couldn’t get over his high school crush, and we’re supposed to believe he’s a hero in the end and HARRY WOULD NAME HIS SON AFTER HIM….. uh no. “Always” is gross.

I’ve literally been wracking my brain for days and I can’t think of any more characters for this. OK I did some googling and I remembered some LOL.

Ross from friends…. I literally can’t stand him. He’s so entitled and just the worst. He tries to act like he’s the nice, sensitive guy, but really he is so full of himself. Joey on the other hand is portrayed as a womanizer but is actually super sweet and I love him

Archie from Riverdale… I have only seen the first 1.5 seasons ish but he is the worst…. we’re supposed to believe he’s some easygoing musically gifted football player but instead he manages to pull off being bland as heck and actually kind of a terrible garbage person

Nick from chilling adventures of Sabrina. I hate characters that are like hitting on the main character even though she has a bf and are like dark and broody and sexy blah blah blah…. I liked Harvey way better. I never finished season 2 tho

Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time? Idk she was fine she just got old after a while

If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

HM. First, Harry would name his son Remus Rebeus Potter LOL. Ok but real talk there was a headcanon floating around forever ago that Harry should have become a professor at Hogwarts instead of an auror and I am 100% on board

Ok, ok….. what abouuuttt…… OK, is star wars when Han and Leia get together. I like them as a couple, but the entire first half of the movie Han is being such an ass. And when they kiss the first time, he’s being SOOO creepy. It’s like so quintessentially 80s romance. and HERE’S THE THING. They actually filmed (or maybe just wrote?) a version of that scene that WASNT CREEPY. And i’m like WHY DIDNT YOU USE THAT?!? So I like to pretend that’s the version that actually happened.

This part is way harder than the shipping portion. If I think of anything else i’l dm you. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS NOVEL LENGTH POST OF ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY FIXATIONS OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS. If anyone actually read this far, you deserve a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket

#regolithheart #ask #answered

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sheriffofmagic · 5 years

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em can we blease get some angst? vang0 calling burger in the middle of the night to pick him up after he went by himself to investigate a lead about his past, but it turned out to be nothing [he had the money to take a taxi but.... you know ;) ]

ok so i have written angst approximately one (1) time so idk how well this turned out but i sure did try (as per usual i didnt proofread because im lazy)

---

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Vang0 Bang0 paces the wet pavement of a deserted street. The grey steel buildings looming high overhead. Between the smog and the storm clouds brewing overhead it might as well have been nighttime. Vang0 wasn’t concerned with the scenery though. Instead he was breathing deeply, blinking furiously to hold back the hot tears clouding his vision.

Why are you even so upset? You knew this wouldn’t go anywhere, he thought bitterly. It didn’t help.

It doesn’t matter. Just another dead end in a string of false leads. He contemplates calling for a cab but he didn’t want some stranger to see him on the verge of a panic attack. Wouldn’t be good for his image… Before he can think too much about it he calls Burger Chainz. Tries to make himself sound normal as he asks for a ride. Burger doesn’t ask questions just tells Vang0 he’ll be there.

Vang0 sits down right in the middle of the sidewalk, not a person in sight. He runs his manicured hands over his face. Wills himself to not let this be a big deal. Wills himself to ignore the pain and the disappointment. He closes his eyes, some stray tears leak down his cheeks and he quickly brushes them away. He tries to separate himself from these feelings, this moment, this lifetime, to make himself an observer. Capable of locking this shit down and tucking it away. It’s not working out.

It’s practically no time before Burger’s van rolls to a stop at the curb. Wordlessly, Vang0 gets in and keeps his head downturned. There’s a nondescript acoustic track playing at such a low volume it takes Vang0 a minute to realize what the noise is. He can feel Burger’s eyes on him for a moment before the van pulls away.

Burger and Vang0 are close, really close, maybe an abnormal amount based on what Dasha said(not that Vang0 has a great frame of reference). But they don’t talk about real stuff. Not as a rule, it’s just never been something they do. And after Burger hadn’t pressed him for details on the phone Vang0 just thought this would be another thing they pretend to forget.

Burger didn’t seem to have the same idea.

“You want to, ah, tell me what’s going on?”

Vang0 just stayed silent.

Burger continued casually, “Why were you all the way out here by yourself?”

For a minute, Vang0 thinks about just ignoring him. Pretending to be too caught up in his thoughts or too much of an asshole to respond. But he sees Burger glance at him, earnest, concern plain on his face and thinks if anyone deserves an explanation, it’s him.

“I thought I had a lead. About me. Turned out to be nothing. It was dumb anyway, I don’t know why I thought I’d find anything.”

He stares straight forward as he speaks struggling to keep his tone neutral, not let his stupid emotions leak through.

“You coulda told me you’d found something. I woulda come with you.”

Vang0 can’t stop the small, bitter laugh that escapes him, “I didn’t find anything. It was a dead end. Months, I spent months researching this shit. Most of what I found was useless and anything useful turned out to be a dead end. This was the one thing that seemed like it might have a chance of being real. Of course it wasn’t.”

“I didn’t know you were looking into this stuff.”

“I don’t even know why I am. Or was. It’s- it’s stupid I should just move on I’m obviously not going to figure out anything about who I was or why someone did this to me…”

Burger was quiet for a moment, “Didn’t think you cared that much about that stuff.”

“I don’t want. I just do. It’s like- I don’t know who I used to be but I miss them? Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m a whole person. Like I’m not quite real. Or maybe I was never real in the first place. I don’t know…”

Vang0 squeezed his eyes shut, forcing his eyes to stop welling. There’s a hollow silence that surrounds them briefly, it could be seconds or hours, it’s agonizing.

“What was it?” Burger asks, “The lead.”

Vang0 brushes at his bangs, eyes tracking the passing streetlights for a moment before he responds, “Cosmetics shop. Underground. Not legally sanctioned. No public records of patients but from what I found their clientele is pretty upscale. Figured someone who powerful enough to wipe a memory clean wouldn’t just half-ass it.”

“Oh,” Burger said, looking at him again, that annoying concerned look still on his face, “You never…”

Vang0 shrugs, “I can’t know for sure. ‘S just a feeling. It’s like, sometimes when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself. Like this isn’t my face, even though it’s the only one I’ve ever known. I look at it and I just know that’s not me. And I get startled like I’m wearing a mask I can’t take off. Even if I could… Who would I be? I mean, who am I without what they made me? Don’t even know if I am anything.”

He rubs a hand over his face, “This probably doesn’t even make sense. But it’s sort of like my skin doesn’t fit right and I know that but everything else is a big blank spot. I wish I could just let it go and move on but I can’t. I need to find out what happened but there’s no trail. As if I just blinked into existence in that warehouse.”

The car had stopped. How long had the car been stopped? Burger had a soft look in his eye as he listened. Now that he’d started talking he felt like he couldn’t stop though he desperately wanted to. Vang0 wanted to bury this deep down and ignore it. Lock it away until it disappeared. Didn’t want to have to talk about this. He hated the vulnerable feeling in his chest and how every word he spoke felt like it was cutting him open. But he couldn’t stop.

“I’d spent months looking and found nothing. And then I had this lead. This one lead. And I knew better than to get my hopes up but I did anyway. Everything I’d found about that place felt like it was leading to something and I wanted to believe so badly that it was. Whole way there, my heart was beating out of my chest. And when I finally got there? It was empty. The place just wiped clean. Like it had been empty for years. ‘Spent two hours looking around for anything, searched nearly the entire building and got nothing.”

Vang0 didn’t realize he was crying again until a tear fell on his arm, startling him. He rubbed at his cheeks furiously, shaking his head, “It was stupid. I should’ve known better than going. And going alone was a dumb risk. Shit, this is ridiculous. I’m so stupid-”

“Hey,” Burger reached out and laid his hand on Vang0’s, “don’t say that. I didn’t know you before but I know you now. You’re smart and wicked good with a gun and you’re my friend, whether you wanna be or not. You’ve been through a lot on your own but it doesn’t have to be like that. You’ve got people who want to help you. Words and stuff, that’s hard for me. But I can try and help. If what you look like doesn’t feel like you, I’ll help ya can change it. And if feelin’ like yourself is less ‘bout looks and more just how you feel, figuring out what happened, who you were? Then I’ll help you with that too. All you gotta do is ask. I’ll be there.”

Vang0 eyes are still wet and his mouth his hanging slightly open. His brain short-circuiting at how damn earnest Burger sounds. It was hard to trust anyone in this city but he knew he could trust Burger. Before either of them realize it’s happening, Vang0’s leaned across the center console and pressed his lips firmly against Burger’s. It lasts only an instant before Vang0’s brain turns back on and starts blasting alarm bells. He pulls back slowly, rubbing at the still-damp spots beneath his eyes. A dumbfounded look contorts Burger’s face and before the big guy gets a chance to speak (or Vang0 a chance to put his foot in his mouth) Vang0 opens his door.

“Thank you,” he says as he slides out of the door, “for everything.”

They just stare at each other through the open door. Not for long. Some unspoken sense of understanding settling over them. But Vang0 doesn’t want to dwell on all of this right now. Panic over the many vulnerabilities he has just exposed is already setting in. Looking at Burger though, he knows he has nothing to worry about.

Vang0 takes a deep, shuddering breath, reminds himself that he’s here, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And he shuts the door.

#hello friends i am back with more bullshit #vang0chainz #burgerbang0 #vang0 bang0 #burger chainz #answered #every time i publish one of these i get nervous #Anonymous

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