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#the paper rings <33 SO PRECIOUS
audaciousacolyte · 6 months
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Hi lovely! First of all before I request.. How are you? How have you been? And also, I seriously enjoy your writings, keep up with the good work and ignore all the haters! They're not worth your precious time.
As for the request, could I pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee request Oswald the lucky Rabbit, Bendy and Cuphead x female reader? Like, how would they be as boyfriend or husband head canons. I hope it's not too much darling! Take all the time you need!
Have fun and have a lovely day/night/morning/evening!! <33
♡ My own Mr. Loverman ♡
Oswald the lucky Rabbit, Bendy and Cuphead x reader romantic partner headcanons (separate)
AN: 《|| Hello!! Thank you so much for requesting!!! I'm doing quite well, but I have been busy trying to figure out what exactly I should write. I'm relieved that you enjoy my silly rambling, and I will gladly bring you more in the future!!! However, I'm terribly sorry that I don't post too often. Please be patient with me ;w; ||》
(Boyfriend/husband headcanons)
Cuphead
♡| Cuphead is not exactly what Someone would call boyfriend material…at first.
♡| He's brash, arrogant, and quite literally has zero self control.
♡| However, the thing that makes him boyfriend material is that while it might not seem like it, he's actually a really sensitive guy.
♡| Cups likes to hide behind bravado and anger, but underneath, he cares deeply about the people around him. He just…doesn't really know how to express that.
♡| By the time you are dating, he will definitely try to communicate this… kinda.
♡| (You had thought he was mad at you for the longest time, but no. He's just awful at communicating his emotions.)
☆| Nobody knows how he managed to land you as a partner, but Bendy theorizes that there may have been witchcraft involved. (Felix disagrees, but only because he thinks that you know something that everyone else doesn't…which like, he's not wrong??)
♡| When he does announce that y'all are dating, it's at the most random moment possible. No context, no elaboration. Just.
♡| Y'all are dating now. 🤷‍♀️
☆| (Boris nearly had a heart attack when he first said it, because he genuinely did not expect it. However this was not as bad as when Mugs demanded that he was to be Cups' best man at the wedding.)
♡| Very spontaneous. I would expect a lot of last minute dates to places neither of you have been before.
☆| (Bro once took you to a monster truck rally for your anniversary. He said it "seemed cooler than I thought it would be", when you asked him about it)
♡| He is not only one of the most loyal men on the planet, but he's also incredibly attentive! Any attention you want is given to you, and Cups is more than happy to cuddle up with you any time of the day.
♡| Casually (cough cough he's so nervous please help cough cough) proposes during your 4 year anniversary with a genuine diamond ring. Literally cries when you say yes.
Bendy
♡| The best boyfriend ever. Send Post.
♡| I'm serious though, Bendy is the sweetest boyfriend to have.
♡| Having a bad day? He'll make sure that you get whatever you need to unwind and feel better.
♡| Want to spend some time together? Of course! He'll go set up a movie for the two of you to watch
♡| Can't open something? Don't worry, honey, he can open it for you (♡♡♡swoon♡♡♡)
♡| Whatever comes, through sickness and in health, Bendy will stay by your side for as long as you allow him to.
♡| Can, will and has done everything in his power to give you everything he thinks that you deserve in a partner. Anything you want, you are going to get it.
♡| (The day he proposes is also the day that Boris got tired of listening to his brother gush about you at 4 in the morning and forced him to go get married or he'd tell Felix their tragic backstory (read, he'd tell Felix to sign the damn adoption papers already))
Oswald the lucky Rabbit
♡| When he does propose, it's at a mega-fancy restaurant, and with an intricately carved golden ring. He won't cry when you say yes, but he gets REAL close.
♡| Whether you realize it or not, the two of you have practically been married for like, ever.
♡| Ever since y'all met, you act just like a married couple with how domestic y'all are with each other.
♡| Love at first sight? Nah, MARRIAGE at first sight
♡| Oswald does not notice this at all. He considers you his best friend, and he (loves you) cares about you a lot, but c'mon guys! there is NO WAY he can be in love with you! He's already in love with Ortensia, you know,HIS WIFE?
♡| (Polyamory exists for a REASON Ozzie)
♡| Ortensia would actually be the one to sit him down and talk to him about it, because you and I KNOW that our poor, sweet, dumb bunny boy won't do anything about this.
◇| (Again, like I've said in Oz's general headcanons, she'll be happy if Oswald's happy and if Oswald wants to start a polycule because he's head over heels for his bestie, then she’s okay with it.)
♡| When he does ask you out, and y'all eventually start going steady, he is such a sweetheart. I am a firm believer in hopeless romantic Oswald, and I will die upon this hill.
♡| Any bit of affection is met with really loud purring, and foot thumping.
☆| (Did you know that rabbits can purr? Yeah, neither did I.)
♡♡♡| He and Ortensia team up and propose to you at the same time with matching silver rings, each with their name carved on the inside. They both tackle-hug you to the ground when you say yes
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thegoldensanctuary · 7 months
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Louis XV's royal clutter
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Castles opened to the public tend to put a great emphasis on furnitures, paintings and panellings. This focus often occurs at the expense of smaller every day items, such as tools, services, boxes and so on.
Even as far back as the 18th century, inventories of the garde meuble- the administration in charge of the French royal furnitures and collections- often omitted those smaller items, in favour of a greater focus on the furnitures themselves.
Several exception that that rule do exist for instance : When King Louis XV died the 10th of May 1774 in Versailles, his Versailles private cabinets were opened and searched, all the cash and the precious items contained in his cupboards were listed and described in an inventory made 27 days after his death.
Said inventory isn't located in the documents of the House of King(O1 series of the french national archives) like it is usually the case, but in the King's papers, namely in the K series of the national archives, more specifically the K 153.
The document in question was never published nor translated to this date.
I decided to publish it for the first time and translate it entirely to give an idea of the of the kind of clutter that was present in the king's private cabinets in Versailles at the time of his death :
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Here is the translation of the provided text into English:
1: Four gold snuffboxes, three enameled, one guilloché,
2: A black lacquer snuffbox mounted in gold,
3: A snuffbox of black tortoiseshell.
4: An ivory candy box.
5: Two watches encrusted with diamonds with their chains also adorned with diamonds
6: An enameled watch with diamond hands and button, a gold cord, and two seals encrusted with diamonds,
7: A garnet box watch adorned with diamonds, attached with a blue ribbon,
9: A large rock crystal flask with a gold stopper, and two seals encrusted with diamonds
10: A small crystal flask
11: A large enameled gold flask
12: Two plain gold flasks in a roussette box
13: A shell flask
14: A rock crystal flask in a roussette case
15: Seven math instrument cases, some in plain gold, others enameled, and some encrusted with diamonds
16: A side case with an enameled gold chain but with diamond buttons
17: Two pocket cases, one enameled gold adorned with diamonds and rubies, and one in jade
18: Four lorgnettes - two in gold, two in silver, and one in copper
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19: Two pencil cases, one enameled gold adorned with diamonds, the other containing a compass
20: A Baradel in gold
21: A small portable silver barometer
22: Four tablets in gold, lacquer, or Burgos, one of tortoiseshell with diamond cyphers
23: Three souvenirs, one of enameled gold
24: A hunting knife with a gold handle
25: A dog collar with diamond initials.
26: A large lacquer tablet containing eight portraits of the royal family adorned in gold
27: A lacquer tablet with a portrait inside
28: Four portraits in three plain boxes
29: An ivory barrel adorned with gold
30: A piece of jade from the Amazon River
31: A Sèvres porcelain lorgnette
32: A gold and Magellan telescope
33: A porcelain Sèvres eyewash basin
34: A small red leather writing set adorned with gold, with a gold seal and pencil
35: A damask pruning knife
36: A double-bladed mother-of-pearl knife with a gold fleur-de-lys
37: Three glasses cases, one of tortoiseshell adorned with gold
38: An approaching eyeglass adorned with silver
39: A watch with its chain and seals, all in rubies and diamonds
41: A mathematics case in yellow lacquer with diamond buttons
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42: Two almanacs mounted in silver and marcasites in their roussette cases
45: Three seals, two in gold, one in stone
47: Four rings, three with diamonds or coloured stones, one with an engraved stone
48: An English lorgnette
49: Four canes - one with a gold handle, one with a porcelain crutch, one with a gold apple adorned with diamonds, one with a golden apple-wood handle and parasol
50: Six watches - one in gold, enameled with a steel chain and chime, two other enameled, three other guilloché gold
51: A steel mirror
52: A gold egg cup in a roussette case
53: A gold writing set with Charlier paintings, in miniature in a roussette case
54: A very beautiful crystal vase, measuring 9 inches in height
55: A gold breakfast set consisting of a Sevres porcelain tray, two identical cups, a gold teapot and sugar pot, two spoons, a strainer, and a sugar tong made of the same metal
56: A gold-enameled punch pot with a pump, and a second pot of Saxony porcelain
57: A small enameled gold punch pot with a pump and a crystal basin
58: Two gold-enameled candlesticks with their bobeches
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59: A crystal breakfast set surrounded by gold, consisting of three goblets
60: Another crystal breakfast set consisting of two carafes and a covered goblet, with the tray of enameled gold
61: A red leather box, edged with gold, containing 12 gold spoons and 12 gold forks, two roast oval plates, two appetizer plates, two dessert plates, and six dishes, all made of the same metal, with one missing, which is in the possession of Mr. de Fontanieu.
62: A set in a red leather box containing a lacquer box with a marabout, a teapot, a spirit lamp, six coffee spoons, all made of gold, three cups, a sugar pot, and a milk jug made of Sevres porcelain
63: A set in a walnut wood box containing 12 gold tableware, twelve knives with rosewood handles, gold cup and rosette, steel blades, twelve knives with Sevres porcelain handles adorned with cup rosette landau, plus four gold plates
64: A red lacquer box reinforced with gold, containing a Sevres porcelain bowl adorned with gold, two gold spoons, a covered crystal goblet adorned with gold, two porcelain pasta pots from Sevres
65: A wooden case enclosed in a black lacquer box containing a marabout made of gold with handles made of Sevres porcelain, two large sugar pots, two saucers, and two chocolate cups made of porcelain, a spirit lamp, adorned with gold, a square crystal flask adorned with gold, two coffee spoons, and a large gold spoon
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66: A gold-plated copper microscope in its pyramid case
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Dom Noël, Planche 19 Microscope tripode.
67: A writing set with 12 zodiac signs
68: A wooden box reinforced with silver containing a pharmacy adorned with silver
69: A yellow lacquer box enclosed in a red leather box
70: A graphometer in a red leather case
71: A gold compass with its stand and a level in a sharkskin case
72: A black lacquer box
73: A breakfast set consisting of a painted sheet metal tray and two porcelain cups
74: A writing set made of silver-reinforced roussette
75: Supplementary gold tableware, three coffee spoons, one tea spoon, a gold set in a roussette case
76: A small black lacquer box
77: A small oak chest, we weren't able to find the key
78: A box of tools with wooden handles and silver ferrules
79: A box of Kingswood,but the key wasn't found
80: A gold-braided telescope
81: A coffee pot for four gold cups with jasper handles and six gold coffee spoons, in a leather case made to contain 12.
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archiveoftara · 2 months
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London Boy
Part 2
I found myself under a pile of bills. Utility bills, water bills, rent, things that needed to be paid but I don't even have a single penny to feed myself .
This small precious dream of mine is costing my life but I can't back out right now.
Six months ago I ran away from my toxic family, to make a living in London, to own a jewelry company but it didn't go as planned.
I banged my head on the table in frustration. What am I gonna do?
After a moment of contemplating my life, I begin to clean up the mess. Slowly picking up scattered papers when my eyes fell on an advert.
Lockwood and Co
The prestigious psychical agency requires a junior field operative and an assistant researcher. Duties will include on-site analysis of reported hauntings and the containment of same. The successful applicant will be SENSITIVE to supernatural phenomena, well-dressed, preferably female and not above fifteen years in age.
Unsuccessful applicants will include time-wasters, fraudsters and persons with criminal records. Apply in writing, together with a photograph, to 35 Portland Row, London W1.
I carefully folded the paper and rushed to my room.
33..34..ah 35. This must be place.
I check the advert again just to make sure I'm at the right place.
I fix my hair and clear my throat one more time before ringing the bell.
"Um hi-"
"Are you Arif's new girl?"
"....who's Arif?"
"Runs the corner store, usually sends someone over with donuts as you don't have any, you must be here for the interview."
I nod awkwardly. Not the best start I see
"Name?"
"Y/n y/l/n. Are you Mr. Lockwood?"
"Me? No." It seem like he is offended. "The last girl just went down but from the look of her, she won't take long."
I step inside the wide hallway, filled with artefacts, books and a chipped plant pot around the corner. This is where they keep their rapiers I guess.
"You win George. That was the last one."
"Then who's this?" The boy named George pointed at me as if I'm some alien. (and I took offense to that)
A boy with very bright, dark eyes and nice lopsided grin said "Hello, I'm Anthony Lockwood." I shook his hand and introduced myself.
"What's your talent?" Lockwood asked.
I gave a small smile "I don't have one."
For a minute I thought the time stopped. I tried to read their faces. I'm sure they're gonna kick me out.
"Well that's fine, we're looking for a researcher anyway and it doesn't need much talent, does it George?" He looked at the boy, sitting at the corner sofa.
He wiped his glasses on his t-shirt "I don't mind."
"Do you have any past experience?"
"Not really." I blushed. "But I am a fast learner, I will work hard. I really need this job."
"George will train you so don't worry." He clasped.
"This means..I got the job?"
"Yes. Welcome to Lockwood and Co"
My eyes shined like a diamond. "I'm not going to disappoint you sir, I desperately needed this job. I'll do anything, thank you so so much." I thanked them like my life depended on it and it kinda did. Lockwood and George exchanged a look (they were talking in some code word I can feel it.) It doesn't matter. I won't be here for too long.
It's been a few weeks since I've been working as a assistant researcher. We also have a new member, her name is Lucy Carlyle. She's really cool, we get along well. Lucy stays with them, they offered me accommodation, too but I refused, I still have a dream to chase.
The work is actually interesting but George makes it a bit difficult for me, he's a perfectionist. I don't blame him. I just try my best to live up to the standards. 
It's the beginning of November, the nights are chilly lately. I've just finished some papers regarding the latest case.
"We should head back it's getting late." George looks at his watch.
"Hmm?" People already left the library, it was just me and him now.
I quickly stood up but felt dizzy. I felt an arm around my waist, I felt a pair of warm brown eyes on me. His mole is cute..has he always been this cute?
"Y/n you alright?" George holds my arm.
I clear my throat "yes. perfectly fine." I quickly gathered my books and walk as fast as I could. The moment I step out of the building I was welcomed by the chilly wind hitting my face. I stood for a moment, my back against the wall. 
I feel so weird.
"Y/n, It's best we see a doctor." He frowned.
"I'm fine." 
"You wanna walk by yourself? Alright, Let's see that." George scoffed.
"Why are you so mean George Karim?" I winced.
"You're being crazy. You clearly need help." 
"George, I can manage." 
"At least let me walk you home." He insisted.
"Nope." With that I make my way home little did I know what was waiting for me.
Maybe I should've been more polite. All he wanted was to help me but I'm a big girl I can manage. It's just a little fever. I slowly made my way to the neighborhood when I felt something strange. I feel nauseas, like something rotten is near me. I felt a heaviness on my chest, something was pulling me away. Soon I felt the cold hard ground, I tried to call for help but nothing came out of my mouth that's when I heard a sound of metal drawn.
"Are you alright?" He keenly looked at me.
"What happened?" I panted. 
"You were ghostlocked. Please just let me walk you home we can argue later." He pulled me with him. 
I think my dream is gonna end before it even starts.
Hello my dear readers, first chapter is done and dusted. Excuse my crappy writing. Hope you like the chapter. Do let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I love you!!! 
Word count: 968
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therealvalkyrie · 3 years
Text
exactly the spring
Pairing/setting: Ushijima Wakatoshi x Fem!Reader, college!AU
Summary: Reserved biology student Ushijima finds himself falling in love when you, an adorably disorganized art student, wander into the greenhouse.
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: fluff, kissing
AN: Hi!! So, the inspiration for this one sprang from the beautiful, sexi brain of Emme ( @doinmybesthere ) way back in MARCH ahem anyway, it's done! I hope it's just as soft and intimate as you envisioned<33 Also, big shoutout to my beautiful friends Arobi ( @daqueenobooty ) and Cee ( @spacelabrathor ) for being wonderful betas and giving me such kind comments:) I hope you enjoy, and as always don't be shy about leaving comments or coming to chat! Be kind to yourselves and others.  ~valkyrie
p.s. check out this amazing art that @/54prowl made of plant boy ushi!! :D
Plants don’t talk back, Ushijima learned as a toddler. He’d babble to them in nonsensical phrases as his mother worked in the garden, and they’d only sway in the wind and listen, waxy under his chubby fingers.
A volleyball doesn’t talk back, either, not even through its bounces and echoes on hands and hard surfaces. It doesn’t listen as easily as plants, but can be herded and shaped like putty into a winning thing if you touch it right. This, Ushijima learned at his father’s hand and carried with him through childhood and adolescence.
The joy and puzzlement of you is that you do both. You listen so intently and openly with your steady eyes and soft body as the words pour out of him. And then, you reply. With your clear voice and new perspective, you offer something new. You offer companionship.
It was the second week of spring semester that you wandered into the greenhouse, eyes lit by the sun and sketchbook under one arm. Ushijima was repotting a large fern, dirt up to his elbows as he kneeled on the floor. He barely gave you a second glance, preoccupied with nestling the plant’s root system comfortably.
You settled a short distance away, crossing your legs to sit on the tile floor in front of an orange tree to sketch its still-closed flower buds with charcoal pencils. He kept working as you did, the sun sliding across glass, shadows shifting into the early evening of winter. When the sun was threatening to set over the city skyline — even with the greenhouse where it sits on the roof of the biology building — he turned to tell you he was closing up, only to find you gone. In your place, sitting on the wooden table that held newly planted basil and sage, was a drawing.
It was a single branch, detailed in shades of charcoal down to the last dewdrop. At the bottom, looping handwriting scrawled, “thank you for the peace.”
That night, he tacked it up above his desk in his dorm next to the postcard from Tendō and hoped you’d come back.
And you do, a couple of days later, on a Saturday. He looks up from where he’s filling in the logbook, this time, catching your gaze and holding it for a moment before you break away to survey the room. Today, he thinks you looked breathtaking. You’re wearing a long, flowing skirt and a sweater that makes him want to feel how soft it is, and how soft you are in it, and by the time his brain catches up with his thoughts, he’s been staring too long and your eyes have wandered back to him. It’s raining, today — it never really snows in this city, he’s learned — and shadowy droplets play across your face as they drip down the greenhouse’s arched glass ceiling, highlighting the curve of your cheekbone and making your eyes glow softly.
He clears his throat and looks back to the thick spiral-bound book on the table before him. Sometimes, when he meets people for the first time, he knows he can come across as intimidating. That worked out for him in high school and on the volleyball court, but in his adulthood, it’s been more of a hindrance than a help. It makes it… difficult to make friends here, where he doesn’t already know anyone.
And the last thing he wants is to scare you away. The last thing he wants is to break the peace you’ve apparently found here.
Which is why he barely dares to breathe when he looks up to find you approaching him where he’s perched on a sturdy wooden stool.
“Hi,” you smile and lilt, and god if it isn’t the most beautiful word Ushijima’s ever heard, if it isn’t the prettiest smile he’s seen.
He doesn’t respond, doesn’t want to scare you away.
“Uhm,” you start again, when the silence makes it clear he’s waiting for you to speak, “I have an art assignment,” you start digging around in your shoulder bag as you speak, “to draw a, um, what’s it called?”
“I don’t know.”
You pause in your rifling and pin him with such a sunny smile it makes his knee start bouncing. And you laugh, too, which officially replaces your “hi” as the most beautiful sound in the world.
“Ha, you’re funny,” you resume digging, “it was um, pretty leafy and... tropical, I think? Oh! Here.” Triumphantly, you produce a wrinkled paper from your bag. It’s the first imperfect thing Ushijima’s found out about you, that you’re shit at keeping your belongings organized, and he files it away for later reference. You hold the paper in front of your face and squint slightly to read in the shifting light. “Canna indica.”
Canna indica, native to tropical climates, notable as a minor food crop for South American Native populations for thousands of years.
“And I was told that you have it, here, in the greenhouse.”
Ushijima nods and finds himself relieved that this is what you’re asking him. Plants, he can do.
“We do. Would you like me to show you?”
“Yes, please,” you also sound relieved, like he’s provided the solution to every problem you’ve ever had.
He unfolds himself from the stool, setting down his pen as he goes. You take a step back and look up at him mildly, as though you hadn’t realized quite how huge he is.
“This way,” he indicates, leading you deeper into the maze that is the biology department’s greenhouse. The winding path back to the tropical room gives him a moment to sink back into the earthy peace of being here, even if now there’s someone sharing that peace.
The temperature change from the warm main greenhouse to the balmy tropical room prompts Ushijima to shed his flannel outer layer, hanging it on the nail hammered by the door while you step in behind him.
“Whew,” you exhale, shrugging off your soft cardigan as well, “it’s hot in here.”
Ushijima hums in agreement and tries not to look too hard at the patch of skin revealed by your cropped tank top. Canna indica isn’t too far into the room, so he just gently moves past draping leaves and ceramic pots.
“Here,” he stops, holding back leaves for you. He stops breathing again when you duck under his arm and end up so close in the narrow aisle that he can smell your shampoo. The moment passes, and he can breathe again when you breeze past him and squat down to peer at the bright, waxy red leaves of your subject.
“Beautiful,” you murmur, and he silently agrees.
You’re leaning so close to the plant he’s afraid you might topple over when you make a noise of realization and sit back on your butt to rifle through your bag once again. Ushijima knows he should probably leave you to it, but he’s glad he waited just an extra minute when you pull out a pair of glasses and pop them on your face. Adorably.
“That’s better.” You’re looking back at canna indica, now, at a normal distance.
He’s figured you’ve forgotten he’s there when you start to pull out pastels from your seemingly bottomless bag, so he turns to leave you.
A soft, “hey,” calls him back to you, however, and he’s met by your face glowing eerily in the shifting rain-light. “Thank you for your help.”
“You’re welcome.”
When he locks up that afternoon, he finds another charcoal drawing waiting for him on the table near the door, this time of his favorite agapanthus africanus. No note, this time, but he attaches all the sounds he heard from you today in its place. He also finds your cardigan forgotten next to where you were sitting and carefully folds it for when you come back.
The drawing joins the orange branch on his wall-- an odd starter garden, he thinks, but all the more precious because it came from you.
The next time he sees you isn’t in the greenhouse, but instead at a cafe a couple of blocks away, two weeks later. He’s walking past, gym bag slung over his shoulder, when he hears your laugh ring out across the outdoor seating area. His eyes find you, head tipped back in sending peals of mirth into the lively spring air. It’s the first truly warm day of the season, though you and your companion are the only patrons sitting outside, and the sun catches on your glasses sat atop your head.
Your friend says something apparently hilarious, because your giggles redouble, and an honest-to-god snort pushes out of your nose. Ushijima catalogues it in his ever-growing list of sounds you make, and pauses at the crosswalk, halfway turned back to keep one eye on you and one on the light. If you were alone, he might’ve approached you and told you that he still has your sweater in the greenhouse, waiting on a shelf between succulents, but he doesn’t want to interrupt your— date?
He isn’t sure, but the person sat there with you seems like someone you might date. Clearly also an art student, judging by the carefully disheveled blue hair and combat boots. Are you the type to date someone with blue hair? Unlikely, he decides. You seem too… bright. Too floaty to be so concerned with looking like you don’t care how you look.
Ushijima’s still debating whether you find blue hair attractive when the crosswalk light begins its countdown and he starts across the street. And he almost makes it all the way across, too, when a voice calls—
“Wait! Hey!”
He turns partially because it sounds urgent enough that it might be an emergency, and his grandmother would roll in her grave if he remained a bystander to some horrific accident. But it’s you, standing up from your seat and waving him back over. He glances at the crosswalk countdown, which lights up red as it ticks from four to three, then turns and jogs back towards you, waving a hand apologetically to the cars waiting at the light. You meet him at the metal fence around the cafe seating area, and now that you’re standing, he can see you’re wearing a yellow sundress that cuts off at your calves and drapes over your hips like the fabric was spun from pure light.
“Hello.” Ushijima talks first this time because if he doesn’t refocus his brain on something else he knows he won’t be able to stop staring.
“Hi! Sorry about that, uh, and I’m sure you have places to be, but, um, did I leave my cardigan at the greenhouse? I can’t find it, and I know I have a tendency to forget things, so,” you finish with a laugh, one hand fiddling with the rings on the other.
“Yes, you did. I put it on a shelf in case you came back.”
“Oh! That’s great!” You sound relieved, and Ushijima’s suddenly very grateful he didn’t take it down to the bio department’s lost and found like they’re technically supposed to. “Is there maybe a time I can come pick it up? When you’ll be there?”
“I’ll be there all day tomorrow, opening at nine.” 
He can’t tell if he sounds a little too eager, and he’s about to soften his meaning by telling you that they’re open today, too, and anyone can hand you a sweater, but you’re already smiling big and sunny and telling him,
“I’ll see you at nine, then. Do you drink coffee?”
He doesn’t; his coaches have always told him that caffeine can only harm his athletic performance.
“Yes, I do.”
“Then I’ll see you at nine, with coffee.”
Ushijima says goodbye and turns to wait at the crosswalk again while you swirl your way back to your seat and pick up your conversation with your friend. He can feel two pairs of eyes on him as he crosses the street, red numbers blinking down from ten, and can’t help but turn to look back as he steps onto the opposite sidewalk. Where your friend tactfully looks down into their cup of tea, you catch his eye with yours and wave. He lifts his hand halfway in a goodbye before an eighteen-wheeler stops at the intersection and blocks you from him.
Ushijima’s normal work attire is typical of an average agricultural biology student accustomed to being up to their elbows in dirt every day: practical cargo shorts, dirt-stained but sturdy sneakers, a “plant dad” t-shirt (a gift from Tendō when they’d said their goodbyes and gone away to college), and a soft cotton flannel. He’s usually satisfied with this for his shift at the greenhouse, expecting to be mud-covered at least up to his wrists by the end of the day.
But today… Today, he pauses in the dorm bathroom to scrub his face raw, and he clips and shapes his nails like his mother used to do for him every Saturday. He normally only does it before tournaments, now, and it calms his nerves to feel prepared for a Big Event, even if that event is only handing you your gently pilled cashmere cardigan and receiving a coffee he won’t drink in return.
The air that morning is heady with spring, earthy and alive, reminding Ushijima of lying beneath the hedge along his mother’s garden to pass notes to the girl next door. He was seven and she was nine, so naturally she knew everything he didn’t. She knew about the planets and why worms live in dirt and how to spell the word “catastrophe,” and Ushijima would’ve bet his whole weekly allowance that she was the coolest person in the world, if he knew what betting was. (She did, and once bet him half an ice cream sandwich that he couldn’t climb the oak tree in his backyard all the way to the top. He did, and then twisted his ankle on the way down, and she brought him an ice cream sandwich every day for a week as an apology.) She was all shiny, long black hair and dark eyes and fast words, nothing like the spring blooming around him.
You, on the other hand, are exactly the spring.
He stops at his favorite pastry place on the way to work to pick up two fresh cream donuts. The line is just dwindling from the height of the morning rush, so he manages to make it to the biology building just five minutes before he normally does.
Morning sun sends rainbows through the automatic misting spray as Ushijima unlocks the greenhouse door, letting a burst of humidity out into the rest of the building. The spiral-bound log book is there on the desk, a thick parchment bookmark sticking out from where whoever closed last night marked the page. 
Ushijima places his backpack and pastry bag on the desk and reaches to hang his key on its hook just when there’s a knock on the door.
“I know I’m early,” you start, edging your way into the room with a paper coffee cup in each hand. “But I saw it was already open, so...”
Ushijima smiles despite himself. In their second year Oikawa Tooru had told him that his smiles can be unnerving, but he can’t help it right now. You look so lovely today, in jeans and a silky tank top, with a certain morning tenderness in the way you hold yourself.
“It’s okay, come in. I just need to check the temperature controls and I’ll be done opening.”
“Sounds good,” you reply, smiling back.
As he makes his way to the temp controls on the Southern wall, you perch on the wooden stool and set down the coffee.
With his back turned to you for a moment, you allow yourself to slouch, planting two hands on the table and stretching your shoulders with a sigh. It’s earlier than you normally get out of bed, let alone actually leave your apartment, and you can already feel a quiet exhaustion setting into your bones.
But this is worth it, you remind yourself. Worth it to talk to the beautiful boy with broad shoulders and gentle hands.
He’d been unexpected. That first day in the greenhouse, you’d sat down with the intention to calm down from a tedious school day and nothing more. Your hands had moved of their own volition on that second drawing of the orange branch, scribbling out a hasty message that made your cheeks burn. But he was so present that day, in the corner of your eye but staying respectfully out of your space. And you’re not blind -- you saw the muscles under his shirt as he lifted an entire small tree in its pot. You saw the startling shade of green his eyes took on in the sun. You saw it all, and it drew you back, and now you’re here.
When he joins you back at the table, leaning back against it to face you, you stick out your hand and offer your name.
He looks at it for a moment, then back at you.
“I just, uh, realized we never properly introduced ourselves,” you explain, with a hesitant smile.
He smiles again and your heart thuds, then his big hand engulfs yours and he shakes it firmly.
“Wakatoshi. It’s nice to meet you.”
You learn in the following weeks of coming to the greenhouse that Wakatoshi doesn’t like coffee. But he does like tea and donuts, so that’s what you bring him on the mornings you can find it in you to wake up before nine. You sit with him in the greenhouse, talking and listening as he records data and waters plants and sits next to you on the quilt you’ve fallen into the habit of bringing. The occasional professor or student comes through, and you get to watch Wakatoshi show off his brains when he leaves you to help them.
There are several things you learn about him over those weeks. Number one: he never minces words. Two: he prefers grapefruit chapstick over anything else. And three: he kisses like it’s his last day on Earth.
You discover number three late one night when you decide to drop by after class, shooting him a text to make sure he’s still there. Today he’s closing instead of opening, and you missed spending your morning with him.
The city lights cast a different kind of glow at this time of night. They add a distance to everything that’s palpable as you drop your bag by the door.
“Toshi, are you here-- oh, hi.” You turn the corner to find him closing the door to the supply closet.
His cheekbones are highlighted briefly by a billboard outside flashing red.
“You should get some sleep.”
“I’m not tired. And I wanted to see you.”
“You wanted to see me?”
He takes a step towards you and you have to tilt your head back slightly to keep your eyes on his. They’re leaf green and unreadable.
“Yeah, uh,” you wet your lips with your tongue, “is that okay?”
“Yes.” He pauses for a long time, then, watching you carefully in the neon glow of the exit sign. His hand shakes as it reaches up to push your glasses from your face onto your head.
Without them, he looks fuzzy and soft around the edges.
He says, “Can I kiss you?” and it feels like there’s a bird trapped in your ribcage.
“Yes. Kiss me.”
Wakatoshi kisses nothing like you expected, all tongues and teeth and heavy fingers in the dip of your waist. He growls when you gasp and mewl against him, sucking on your lower lip as your hands find purchase in his shirt. He kisses you so absolutely breathless that you think you might pass out. Your knees buckle and you pull away, gasping with your eyes closed for a moment until you come back to yourself.
“Are you alright, little one?”
The endearment makes your cheeks flush with heat and your eyes snap open.
“Yes, I’m alright. Please do it again.”
And so he does it again, and again, and again until you find yourself bringing him home with you on the last bus that goes towards your neighborhood. He’s standing in the aisle, one hand wrapped around a pole and the other wound around you, who’s standing in front of him. He keeps you steady as the bus rounds a corner.
That night, you bring the peace of the greenhouse into your home, and the only thing you find yourself wishing for is that it never leaves.
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pearlposts · 4 years
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The Best of Soft Rock: More Than A Feeling
 SONG TITLE                                ARTIST       TIME
Lowdown                                     Boz Scaggs    5:18
Whenever I Call You “Friend”  Kenny Loggins    3:18
Piano Man                                    Billy Joel         5:40
Longer                                     Dan Fogelberg    3:18
Miracles                                Jefferson Starship  3:33
Lost in Love                              Air Supply          3:55
More Than I Can Say              Leo Sayer            3:39
Rosanna                                         Toto              4:03
More Than a Feeling                  Boston              3:26
Take It on the Run               REO Speedwagon  3:37
Make Me Lose Control           Eric Carmen         4:48
Total Eclipse of the Heart       Bonnie Tyler         5:35
Living Inside Myself              Gino Vannelli          4:25
The Flame                            Cheap Trick            4:50
Sara                                        Starship               4:23
SONG TITLE                                  ARTIST                   TIME
Livin’ Thing                         Electric Light Orchestra        3:34
This Is It                                   Kenny Loggins                 3:59
Africa                                                Toto                          4:59
Eye In The Sky                      Alan Parsons Project          4:35
Look What You’ve Done to Me       Boz Scaggs                5:18
You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling Daryl Hall & John Oates  4:36
All Out Of Love                              Air Supply                    4:03
Can’t Fight This Feeling           REO Speedwagon            4:55
The Search Is Over                        Survivor                       4:14
All by Myself                               Eric Carmen                    7:11
Without You                               Harry Nilsson                   3:21
Year of the Cat                           Al Stewart                        6:38
Dust in the Wind                         Kansas                            3:27
Vincent                                    Don McLean                       4:01
Please Come to Boston         David Loggins                     4:09
SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                  TIME
Baby I’m-a Want You                           Bread                                   2:32
A Horse with No Name                       America                                 4:09
Diamond Girl                                    Seals & Crofts                          4:04
I Saw the Light                                 Todd Rundgren                         3:01
Blinded by the Light                Manfred Mann's Earth Band              3:51
It Might Be You                               Stephen Bishop                          4:14
She’s Gone/Sara Smile/Rich Girl        Hall & Oates                           3:29
Minute By Minute                         The Doobie Brothers                     3:28
Sentimental Lady                                Bob Welch                              3:46
How Much I Feel                                 Ambrosia                                 4:44
Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime The Korgis                               4:12
If You Leave Me Now                          Chicago                                   3:57
Sailing                                        Christopher Cross                             4:17
Waiting For A Girl Like You             Foreigner                                     4:52
Against All Odds                            Phil Collins                                    3:25
SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                              TIME
Ride Like the Wind                        Christopher Cross                                  4:32
Saturday in the Park                          Chicago                                              3:57
Sister Golden Hair                              America                                              3:20
You’re So Vain                                Carly Simon                                            4:18
If                                                          Bread                                                  2:35
Ooh Baby Baby                              Linda Ronstadt                                        2:42
Him                                                Rupert Holmes                                         3:40
You Are the Woman                         Firefall                                                    2:45
All I Need                                       Jack Wagner                                             3:32
Walking In Memphis                       Marc Cohn                                                4:19
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All  Air Supply                                                5:01
I Want to Know What Love Is        Foreigner                                                   5:00
The Living Years                    Mike + the Mechanics                                       5:33
Drive                                               The Cars                                                   3:57
One More Night                           Phil Collins                                                   4:48
I’ll Be There                             The Escape Club                                             4:57
SONG TITLE                                                     ARTIST                                TIME
Summer Breeze                                           Seals & Crofts                             3:26
Key Largo                                                     Bertie Higgins                             3:19
Make It with You                                                 Bread                                    3:12
Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?     Chicago                               3:22
Dream Weaver                                           Gary Wright                                  4:18
Hello It’s Me                                            Todd Rundgren                                3:52
Sara Smile                                      Daryl Hall and John Oates                       3:12
Chuck E.’s In Love                             Rickie Lee Jones                                  3:28
Black Water                                  The Doobie Brothers                                 4:16
Still the One                                             Orleans                                           3:56
Hurt So Bad                                      Linda Ronstadt                                      3:18
Cool Change                                  Little River Band                                      4:08
Biggest Part Of Me                            Ambrosia                                              5:27
Never Be the Same                    Christopher Cross                                       4:41
You Can Do Magic                           America                                                 3:57
SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                                TIME
The Guitar Man                                 Bread                                                   3:45
Tin Man                                           America                                                  3:27
Wildfire                               Michael Martin Murphey                                     4:50
25 or 6 to 4                                  Chicago                                                     4:52
Lotta Love                               Nicolette Larson                                             2:43
What a Fool Believes         The Doobie Brothers                                          2:27
Steal Away                              Robbie Dupree                                              3:31
You’re the Only Woman              Ambrosia                                                   4:22
Sexy Eyes                                Dr. Hook                                                       3:00
Kiss You All Over                       Exile                                                           3:30
Even the Nights Are Better   Air Supply                                                       3:59
Arthur’s Theme                  Christopher Cross                                             3:55
Dance with Me                       Orleans                                                         3:21
Beautiful in My Eyes            Joshua Kadison                                              4:10
Black Velvet                        Alannah Myles                                                 4:48
SONG TITLE                        ARTIST                                                         TIME
California Dreamin’      The Mamas & The Papas                                       2:54
Kokomo                        The Beach Boys                                                     3:36
Ventura Highway             America                                                               3:32
Listen to the Music      The Doobie Brothers                                               3:27
I Can See Clearly Now     Johnny Nash                                                     2:43
It Never Rains in Southern California  Albert Hammond                             3:38
Thank You For Being A Friend            Andrew Gold                                   4:45
Everything I Own                                    Bread                                           3:07
When Will I Be Loved                     Linda Ronstadt                                     2:10
I Keep Forgettin’                         Michael McDonald                                    3:41
Baby Come Back                               Player                                                2:16
Circle in the Sand                       Belinda Carlisle                                         4:27
Hold On                                     Wilson Phillips                                            3:41
I’ll Be Over You                              Toto                                                        3:50
Just the Way It Is, Baby          The Rembrandts                                           4:09
 SONG TITLE                            ARTIST                                                     TIME
We Don’t Talk Anymore       Cliff Richard                                                      4:13
Baker Street                       Gerry Rafferty                                                     2:13
When Your in Love with a Beautiful Woman  Dr. Hook                                  2:56
Fool (If You Think It’s Over)       Chris Rea                                                     3:33
You’re No Good                     Linda Ronstadt                                                 3:46
Reminiscing                        Little River Band                                                 3:17
The Air That I Breathe           The Hollies                                                       4:12
Sad Eyes                            Robert John                                                        1:55
I Go Crazy                          Paul Davis                                                           5:23
Hearts                                Marty Balin                                                           4:19
These Dreams                     Heart                                                                  4:17
Jessie                           Joshua Kadison                                                         4:22
Release Me                   Wilson Phillips                                                          3:54
The Doctor                 The Doobie Brothers                                                    3:45
SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                               TIME
Maggie May                Rod Stewart                                                               5:15
Higher and Higher      Rita Coolidge                                                             4:01
Whatcha Gonna Do?  Pablo Cruise                                                              4:15
I’m in You                   Peter Frampton                                                           4:11
Drift Away                     Dobie Gray                                                              3:56
More Love                   Kim Carnes                                                               3:37
Babe                             Styx                                                                         4:01
Into The Night        Benny Mardones                                                            4:31
It’s a Heartache       Bonnie Tyler                                                                 3:45
While You See a Chance   Steve Winwood                                                 4:06
Show Me the Way       Peter Frampton                                                        2:30
Fooled Around and Fell in Love    Elvin Bishop                                           4:37
Lonesome Loser           Little River Band                                                     3:54
I’m Not in Love                10 CC                                                                    6:07
I Just Wanna Stop         Gino Vannelli                                                           3:37
SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                              TIME
Daniel                          Elton John                                                                3:53
I Need You                   America                                                                    3:07
I Can Dream About You    Dan Hartman                                                       4:11
Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                            3:54
I’d Really Love to See You Tonight  England Dan & John Ford Coley          2:38
On and On                 Stephen Bishop                                                          3:01
Tempted                        Squeeze                                                                  4:01
The Things We Do For Love   10 CC                                                           3:31
The Best of Times           Styx                                                                      4:18
Cry                       Godley and Creme                                                          3:55
Your Wildest Dreams   The Moody Blues                                                    4:51
Higher Love                 Steve Winwood                                                       5:46
More Than Words           Extreme                                                               5:36
I’d Do Anything for Love    Meat Loaf                                                          5:17
Do You Feel Like We Do      Peter Frampton                                              7:20
SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME
So In to You             Atlanta Rhythm Section                                             4:23
Fly, Robin, Fly           Silver Connection                                                     3:50
Sentimental Lady        Bob Welch                                                              3:46
Show And Tell             Al Wilson                                                                 3:29
Wild Flower             The New Birth                                                             3:59
Delta Dawn             Helen Reddy                                                               3:09
American Pie          Don McLean                                                                8:35
Rock Me Gently      Andy Kim                                                                     3:29
Go All The Way      The Raspberries                                                          3:22
Mr. Big Stuff            Jean Knight                                                                 2:49
Oh Babe, What Would You Say     Hurricane Smith                                   3:26
Hooked On A Feeling     Blue Swede                                                         2:53
 Having My Baby           Paul Anka                                                             2:33
Last Song                     Edward Bear                                                          3:13
The Streak                   Ray Stevens                                                           3:18
SONG TITLE                  ARTIST                                                               TIME
Rhinestone Cowboy   Glen Campbell                                                         3:16
Too Late To Turn Back Now  Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose             3:20
Boogie Fever             The Sylvers                                                              3:30
Reminiscing            Little River Band                                                         3:17
I Just Want To Celebrate    Rare Earth                                                      2:54
One Bad Apple           The Osmonds                                                         2:43
Have You Never Been Mellow   Olivia Newton-John                                 3:33
Magic                            Pilot                                                                      3:05
Boogie Oogie Oogie     A Taste of Honey                                                  3:38
Right Back Where We Started From   Maxine Nightingale                        3:15
Sad Eyes                        Robert John                                                        1:55
Gonna Fly Now                Bill Conti                                                            2:48
My Sharona                  The Knack                                                            4:02
You Sexy Thing          Hot Chocolate                                                        4:05
Puppy Love               Donny Osmond                                                       3:06
SONG TITLE                 ARTIST                                                              TIME
Love Train                  The O'Jays                                                              2:58
Knock Three Times     Dawn                                                                      2:55
Brandy                    Looking Glass                                                             3:04
Little Willy                  Sweet                                                                       3:12
Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me    Mac Davis                                              3:06
Take Me Home, Country Roads    John Denver                                         3:13
It Never Rains in Southern California   Albert Hammond                           3:38
Brand New Key                Melanie                                                              2:26
Come and Get Your Love       Redbone                                                      3:32
More. More, More (Part 1)      Andrea True Connection                              3:02
I Can See Clearly Now         Johnny Nash                                                  2:43
Everybody Plays the Fool     The Main Ingredient                                       3:22
Indian Reservation             Paul Revere & The Raiders                              2:52
The Cover of “Rolling Stone”   Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show                2:55
When Will I See You Again      The Three Degrees                                     3:00
SONG TITLE                           ARTIST                                                      TIME
Rich Girl                    Daryl Hall and John Oates                                        2:23
Lady Marmalade                    LaBelle                                                         3:21
Best of My Love              The Emotions                                                      3:41
Fire                             The Pointer Sisters                                                  3:28
Miracles                        Jefferson Starship                                                 3:33
You Make Me Feel Like Dancing    Leo Sayer                                            2:51
Here You Come Again         Dolly Parton                                                   2:58
Disco Lady                        Johnnie Taylor                                                  4:25
Saturday Night                Bay City Rollers                                                  2:56
Rock On                           David Essex                                                      3:26
Wildfire                  Michael Martin Murphey                                              4:50
You Take My Breath Away   Rex Smith                                                    3:15
I Go Crazy                      Paul Davis                                                         5:23
Stumblin’ In        Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman                                      3:31
Torn Between Two Lovers    Mary MacGregor                                         3:44
SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown     Jim Croce                                                         3:00
Don’t Pull Your Love     Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds                          2:41
Love Will Keep Us Together  Captain and Tennille with Neil Sedaka        3:24
Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song  B.J. Thomas             3:22
She’s A Lady                 Tom Jones                                                           2:51
How Do You Do?       Mouth & MacNeal                                                   4:07
Black and White        Three Dog Night                                                      3:51
Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                        3:54
Drift Away                 Dobie Gray                                                              3:56
It’s a Love Beat     The DeFranco Family                                                 3:09
I’m in You               Peter Frampton                                                          4:11
The Candy Man     Sammy Davis, Jr.                                                      3:10
Spiders & Snakes   Jim Stafford                                                              3:05
Billy, Don’t Be A Hero  Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods                       3:40
The Morning After     Maureen McGovern                                                2:20
SONG TITLE                                   ARTIST                                          TIME
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves          Cher                                               2:36
Maggie May                                Rod Stewart                                         5:15
Baby Come Back                            Player                                              2:16
I Just Wanna Stop                   Gino Vannelli                                           3:37
Jackie Blue                 Ozark Mountain Daredevils                                  3:37
Higher And Higher               Rita Coolidge                                              4:01
I’m Not in Love                           10 CC                                                   6:07
Y.M.C.A.                               Village People                                            3:45
Will It Go Round in Circles     Billy Preston                                              3:46
I Just Want to Be Your Everything   Andy Gibb                                        3:44
Do You Wanna Make Love        Peter McCann                                        4:01
Signs                            Five Man Electrical Band                                    4:02
Disco Duck                              Rick Dees                                                3:14
Montego Bay                       Bobby Bloom                                               2:55
If I Can’t Have You            Yvonne Elliman                                              3:00
SONG TITLE                         ARTIST                                                     TIME
Play That Funky Music      Wild Cherry                                                    3:16
One Toke Over the Line    Brewer & Shipley                                            3:21
Afternoon Delight          Starland Vocal Band                                           3:14
Life is a Rock                      Reunion                                                        3:31
I Can Help                         Billy Swan                                                       2:57
My Maria                       B.W. Stevenson                                                  2:31
Magnet and Steel            Walter Egan                                                     3:25
Beach Baby                    First Class                                                         2:42
The Rapper                   The Jaggerz                                                        2:45
Brother Louie                  Stories                                                               3:57
Precious and Few            Climax                                                              2:46
O-o-h Child               The 5 Stairsteps                                                      3:15
Playground in My Mind    Clint Holmes                                                     2:57
Put Your Hand In The Hand   Ocean                                                        2:53
Please Come to Boston    David Loggins                                                  4:09
SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                         TIME
Turn The Beat Around    Vicki Sue Robinson                                            3:24
Ring My Bell                     Anita Ward                                                        3:31
Sometimes When We Touch   Dan Hill                                                      2:22
Rose Garden               Lynn Anderson                                                      2:49
In The Summertime      Mungo Jerry                                                         3:37
Seasons in the Sun      Terry Jacks                                                           3:30
The Night Chicago Died   Paper Lace                                                       3:32
Rock The Boat            Hues Corporation                                                  3:09
Don’t Give Up on Us        David Soul                                                        3:39
Kung Fu Fighting         Carl Douglas                                                         3:17
Love Grows                Edison Lighthouse                                                  2:51
Sweet Mary              Wadsworth Mansion                                                 2:42
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia   Vicki Lawrence                     3:36
TSOP             MFSB featuring the Three Degrees                                   3:35
Feelings                    Morris Albert                                                            3:45
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little-writings · 5 years
Text
Jumin Week: Day 1 {Birthday}
Upon finding out that Jumin has never had a ‘proper’ birthday party, you’re determined to give him a celebration he’ll never forget. 
Word Count: 3,333 (Wow! Didn’t mean for that!) 
Howdy howdy! It’s been a hot minute but I’m glad to finally have something to give ya’ll again! A lot of life has been happening lately but there has still been writing in the works! Including this, haha! Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and have a marvelous day! <33
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Jumin could count on his fingers the number of birthdays he celebrated: his father’s, V’s, Elizabeth 3rd, the RFA, and of course, yours. Your birth-’day’ in fact, was more along the lines of a birth-’week’.  
He had attempted to extend it to a month but for some unfathomable reason he couldn’t understand, you put your foot down. There was just too much about you to celebrate to fit into such a short time-span.  
In days that now feel like centuries ago, Jumin once celebrated Rika’s birthday. He could still remember the grand tiered vanilla cake with her favorite color, yellow, painted along its edges in frosting. The way her face would glow and beam among the light of the candles-
Jumin didn’t want to think about that anymore.
In truth, despite all the birthdays he’d celebrated for others, he hardly had the faintest idea of what to do for himself.  
Sure, as a child his father would go to extravagant extremes with parties and gifts but as Jumin grew older, the parties became dinners and the dinners became calls as life grew more elaborate and that much more hectic with the passing of every year. By now, Jumin associated his birthday with murky, restless nights with a bottle of wine that’d be empty before the sun rose.  
But you weren’t in his life back then.  
He’d first noticed the change with the words written on the calendar in your grand, curly lettering, taking up half of the sheet despite it only meant for a single day. The little heart you’d drawn beside the lettering bringing a gentle smirk to his face.  
“Jumin’s Birthday!”  
He absentmindedly fiddled with the ring on his finger, feeling the engravings rise and fall beneath his fingertips.  
“Are you excited?”  
Your voice snapped him from his thoughts, Jumin twisting around to see you standing on the tips of your toes, peering up at him with eyes as wide as saucers – anticipation brimming in every inch of you.  
“For what?”  
“For your birthday, silly!”  
“Not particularly. But I think you might be.”  
Your face fell in confusion. “Aren’t... aren’t you wanting to do anything?”  
“Whatever you’d like to do love,” He bent down and pressed a kiss between your brows, undoing what would’ve been the forming knot.  
“Jumin...” You wrinkled your nose. “It’s not about what I want. It’s your birthday!”  
“Mmhm. And I already have everything I could ever want,” Jumin wrapped a tender palm around your cheek. You melted into the touch in spite of your frustration – you just couldn’t stay mad at him. “The best gift you could give me is your happiness.”  
“Jumin...!” You took his hand in your own, clutching him like he was the only string still keeping you upright. “That’s so, so sweet – you're so, so sweet. But your birthday is for you! There has to be something you want!”  
He bit the inside of his cheek and thought.  
What was there that he couldn’t simply go out and get himself? Any material object one the earth was just that – a material object – perfectly obtainable if one had the means – and if anyone, Jumin most certainly did have those means.  
“Didn’t you have parties as a kid?”  
“I did.” Jumin nodded. “Granted, the only people were my father’s employees, my caretakers, and V.”  
As the words slipped from his mouth, a faint realization of how much loneliness hounded his life before you stepped into it became that much more apparent. He squeezed your hand.  
“Then that’s it!”  
“I’m sorry?”  
“We can have a birthday party for you!” You grinned so wide it was infectious. You always left him smiling like a lovesick fool -- something no one else could ever do. “I mean, you’re talking to the party planning professional!” 
“Aren’t most of them supposed to be surprises?”  
“Well -- just pretend you haven’t heard anything!” You snickered, biting the inside of your cheek. “Do you think you could do that for me?” 
Jumin paused, thinking before an amused glint simmered to life in his eyes, peering down at you. “Pretend for what, love?” 
“You’re just perfect,” Your delight poured out of your voice as you pressed a quick, adoring kiss to his lips that Jumin nearly instinctively leaned into. Had he not caught himself he could’ve stumbled over his feet in an effort to not part with you. 
“I better start getting everything ready,” Your hands unraveled from Jumin’s and immediately began searching for a pen and paper, even resolving to scribble notes on your arm. His heart melted at the very sight of it. “Oh, I’m so excited!” 
A bounce appeared in your step, only twisting back around to him as you disappeared with a pointing finger, bits of laughter seeping into your words. 
Jumin swore he wasn’t a particularly cheery soul, but you kept proving him wrong more and more in that regard. Every single piece of the world was that much more precious and beautiful with you in it, and his smile grew wider. 
“But you, you don’t know a thing! Don’t say a word!” 
He mimicked the motion of a key turning in a lock, nodding. “My lips are sealed.” 
You tried to disappear down the hall but you couldn’t quite bear to leave him just yet, rushing back to your husband to kiss him just once more. 
“I love you,” You hummed, curling tangles of his hair between your fingers. 
Jumin would never get tired of hearing those words from you. He wove his arms around you and pulled you close, rubbing delicate circles against your back. “How can I just let you go now?” He hummed beneath his breath. “Is there any way I could deter you from your incredibly secret plan that I know nothing about?”
“Jumin...” 
Whatever resolve you’d grappled onto vanished the moment Jumin asked once more with a quiet ‘please’. How someone could withstand such a thing, you had no clue. 
“Fine, fine,” You huffed, amusedly. “But just for a little bit!” 
You didn’t begin your planning until the next day, but your heart was in the right place. That was what counted. 
That next day, however, you hit the ground running. The days leading up to Jumin’s birthday were spent drowned in planning among texts, calls, and plenty of emails you’d become all too accustomed to. 
The only thing left for Jumin’s birthday was the cake. 
You’d assigned Jumin’s father, Mr. Han with the task of distracting Jumin that morning with father-son birthday activities. Mr. Han practically giddy to be a part of today’s festivities. 
“You two have fun, alright?” You hung at the front door of the penthouse as Jumin greeted his father outside, the man already holding a gift for his son. 
“You’ll be alright on your own?” Jumin asked. “Are you sure you can’t join us?”
“It’s only for a few hours. I’ll be alright.” You grinned. “Think you can handle each other?” 
“Oh please, I only raised him! I think I can take care of him for an afternoon!” Mr. Han gave a warm expression, setting a fond hand on his son’s shoulder in spite of how he towered over Mr. Han. 
“I believe we’ll be alright.” 
“I’ll hold you to it!” 
Did you give Mr. Han a playfully far-too-obvious wink? Yes, yes you did. He returned with a bright, eager smile and Jumin had to clear his throat to stifle his laughter. 
This might’ve been the most unsurprising birthday surprise party you’d ever known. 
But you’d do all within your power to make it the best. 
Within the hour of Mr. Han and Jumin leaving, the RFA arrived in a mess of delighted chatter. Even V took time out of his schedule for the occasion, informing you in a nightly chat in which you had to quell a squeal of delight and in a rarity, you heard V laugh.
“Is the fur-ball put away?” Zen asked, nervously scanning the kitchen for any sight of Elizabeth 3rd. “I don’t want to sneeze all over your cake MC!” 
“I left her in the bedroom. You’re safe.” 
“For now!” 707 slammed his hands down on the actor, causing the man to erupt into an embarrassingly shrill shriek. Jahee being the one to calmly remove 707′s grip with a glare sharper than daggers. 
“Please do not frighten Zen like that,” She stated, chillingly cold. “If his voice is strained, he may be unable to sing with his beautiful voice.” 
“Jahee, do you ever hear yourself speak?” 707 giggled with a wrinkled nose. “Like, really?” 
“Be nice!” You elbowed the hacker sharply. “We’re all here for a common cause!” 
Zen raised his hand. “Because you asked us to...?”
Calming the storm, V stepped forward, greeting you with a kindly smile and warm glimmer in his eyes that seeped through his sunglasses. “For Jumin.” 
“Exactly.” You nodded. “And we’re going to bake him the best birthday cake he’s ever had! Isn’t that right?” 
“Yeah, yeah!” Yoosung jumped forward, a little notepad clasped in his grip. “I even went and found some recipes for him! I found a really good one! I know he’d like it MC!” 
“What is it?” 
“Mm!” The young man flipped through the pages, strands of blonde hair slipping from his hairclip -- his bangs finding a way no matter his efforts to flitter right back in front of his face. “It’s vanilla with buttercream frosting! You said that’s his favorite, right?” 
“It sure is -- hasn’t changed since he was a child.” V mused. “We tried to make one once and nearly burnt down the kitchen.” 
“Let’s not have that as our goal?” You folded your lips nervously. “We’ll just follow Yoosung’s recipe and everything will work out! He’s a great cook!” 
“I don’t want to say Yoo-Yoo isn’t an amazing chef but-” 
“We’re not listening to someone who lives off a diet of soda and chips,” Zen glanced back to 707 with raised brows. “Have you ever even seen a stove -- touched one?” 
“No, this is my first time in a kitchen in fact~!” 707 gasped dramatically. “It’s magnificent!” 
You and Yoosung exchanged a series of glances before letting out an exasperated sigh.
“Well, at least they’re willing to try!” You exclaimed. “I’m sure it’ll be okay as long as we work together.” 
You were so optimistic then. 
You felt like an absolute idiot now. 
Luciel, given the simple task of greasing the pan, managed to cover half the kitchen in canola oil alongside a horrified Zen. Jahee fought with 707 and her own desire to wring his neck. Zen, on the other hand, was not above such impulses, and a fistful of flour was promptly thrown.
“I’ll get them under control, don’t worry!” Yoosung had said that half an hour ago, now he was smothered between the bickering trio, desperately trying to keep the eggs on the counter and not in anyone’s fist.
“Should I just order a cake at this point?” You asked V, taking in a sharp breath. “Is that what I have to do?” 
“Two people are better than none,” V smiled softly. “We can still do this. It’s just a few steps. We can wrangle them together later.” 
You stared up at him and nodded, taking in a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re right!  We can do this!” 
“Yes, we can. If we can handle Jumin, we can surely handle his cake.” 
“He’s not difficult to handle.” 
“Then if we can handle them.” 
You glanced at the arguing group of the remaining RFA members, Jahee catching your gaze and stopping -- shuffling her feet in quiet embarrassment. The other three followed, Luciel leaning over the counter with flour plastered over his cheeks. 
“S-Sorry,” He chuckled. “I ah -- I guess we got carried away! But we’re ready! We really want to make your ‘cat dad’ a good cake!”  
Jahee pushed her glasses back up her nose, now spotted with white specks. “We... we won’t let anything distract us this time around.” 
V simpered. “Are you positive about that?” 
With a ‘yes’ spoken in unison, that familiar joy bubbled inside of you. The ends of your lips stretched from ear to ear and the tension in your shoulders slipped away easily. 
“Then let’s get started!” 
You parceled out responsibilities to each of them, and though it wasn’t absolutely perfect, it was wonderfully unique. You’d never seen anyone as passionate as frosting as you did Yoosung -- he’d shriek in outrage when 707 would scoop a dollop with his finger. Jahee and Zen monitored the cake in the oven and fretted like helicopter parents over the slightest details, oddly in sync as if they balanced out each other out in all their quirks. 
707 proudly proclaimed the position of ‘cheerleader’, though you did insist he help decorate with Yoosung -- the two not sharing quite the same connection as Zen and Jahee -- more so a nagging pair in clusters of laughter despite their arguing. 
However, you and V, you simply had a lovely time. 
You whisked the ingredients together chattering quietly and occasionally humming little bits of songs until you couldn’t remember the music and simply scrambled to come up with your own. He told you stories of the past, and you told him of the present, melancholy washing over him. 
“I know you’re busy...” You murmured. “But you’re practically family. I know it’d mean the world to him if you’d visit more often.” 
“It’s not that I don’t want to. But... a part of me worries that this may be the best I can hope for.” 
You didn’t have to give more than a frown to tell you needed a tad more information. 
“I... I’m not quite the same as I used to be. I worry that I’ve changed so much I’m not the same person he knows. It’s just... so much has happened. I worry that if I try to fix anything I’ll just break what isn’t broken. I’m... I’m scared of that with everyone...” 
“V...” You stopped him and set a gentle hand on his arm, the thin cardigan he always wore unable to shroud the faint bit of shaking. “That would never happen. The RFA is a family, we aren’t going to abandon each other -- we’re here for you no matter what. You just have to give us the chance to be there for you.” 
You squeezed him sweetly and offered an encouraging, fond smile. “This is a good way to start.” 
He paused. “You think so?” 
“I don’t want to say I know so... but... I know so.” 
“I suppose I can’t argue with that.” 
You clicked your tongue playfully, flicking up the spoon from the bowl that sent more than few bits of mix scattering about -- much more than you’d like to admit. “Not with a professional like me, you can’t!” 
“I don’t think I want to.” 
From that point, V lightened. He allowed himself to enjoy all the mishaps and mess that came with the cake baking. The difficulty of the frosting with all its sloppy sides and how the frosting fell against the sides. The whole group practically held their breath each time a flower of frosting was painted. 
But somehow, someway you all made it. 
You all finished it with just enough time to decorate. 
You raced around the house at lightning speed with confetti and ribbons, it hurt to think of cleaning it later. Balloons were sprawled about and Zen and 707 nearly lost their minds attempting to hang up the poster with ‘Happy Birthday Jumin’ printed in only the largest lettering possible. 
You barely had time to catch your breath before the door creaked open. 
Just as soon as you sat down, you all scrambled to your feet and only utterly failed at the task of ‘acting normal’. 
Jumin and his father stepped inside, gawking a the explosion of color that’d gone off, glancing down from the poster to see you and the RFA, smiling like fools.
“Happy birthday Jumin!” 
He followed suit, the usually so stoic man beaming from ear to ear. You raced to meet him and fell into his embrace, peppering his face in kisses. His bright, faint laughter perhaps the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. 
“I hope you like it!” 
He squeezed you tight as one would with their greatest treasure -- it’d be a tragedy to ever let go. 
“I love it. I truly, truly do.” 
“This isn’t even it!”
“What all have you been doing while I’m gone?” 
“Oh, you’ll see!” You stepped back, Jumin reluctant to let go. “We all worked really hard on it.” 
707 groaned. “It was back-breaking labor!” 
Zen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe for the guy who sits in a chair all day!” 
“Exactly! Thank you for being so understanding!” 
V stepped forward beyond the small group, giving a gracious dip of his head. “Happy birthday Jumin.” 
“I’m glad you were able to make it.” Jumin grinned. “I know how busy you can be -- especially as of late.” 
“Yes... but I’m still here -- for you -- for everyone. I um -- I’m sorry I haven’t been able to show that lately.” V laughed weakly. “There’s not much of an excuse but-” 
What would’ve become a bit of nervous ramblings was cut off as Jumin hurried to hug his dear old friend. V, like a strike of lightning, nearly jumped at the interaction. 
How long had it been since someone showed him genuine care? 
Eventually, though, V settled, returning the hug and glancing at you, fighting back laughter at the sight of a smug you mouthing ‘I told you so’.
“Now, I believe there’s something else for you to see.” V stepped back, gesturing to you. “MC?” 
“Oh! Of course! Did you eat?” 
“No.” Jumin smirked at your sigh in relief. 
“Oh thank goodness!” You clapped your hands. “Then let me show you into the kitchen!” 
Everyone flooded into the kitchen with anticipation in every step, even 707 proceedings to drum against the counters. 
“Ta-da~! We baked a cake! It’s your favorite too -- vanilla with buttercream!” Your eyes widened like saucers, exhilarated. “Now, you have to know what comes next.” 
Jumin grinned and raised a perplexed brow. “No, what is it?” 
You lit the candles atop the cake and as though puzzle pieces snapping together, everyone understood what was coming. 
“Well... we sing you a song!” 
On the count of three, everyone began to sing that cheery, joyous ‘Happy Birthday’ song with an amount of cheesiness only you could come up with. As you sang, your hands intertwined with Jumin’s, your husband running his thumb over your knuckles. 
“Now you’ve got to know what to do now, Mr. Moneybags.” Zen snorted. “Blow out the candles!” 
And Jumin did just that. 
Tangles of smoke floated up as he let out a puff of air, all of you bursting into cheers at least two of you reaching for the knife to begin cutting a slice. 
You glanced at Jumin, snapping him away from his thoughts. “What did you wish for?” 
“I thought you weren’t supposed to say what you wished for or it won’t come true.” 
“I thought you didn’t believe in old wive’s tales.” You remarked, his other arm reaching for your waist, drawing you close. 
“Well, I suppose this is too important to risk.” 
“Could I get a hint...?” 
“Perhaps,” He tipped his forehead against your own, glancing down at the wedding ring on your own finger like a blessing come to life. 
“It involved you, and that makes it more precious than anything else.” 
You didn’t need to ask anymore, your heart already swelled. “You know, it’s supposed to be your birthday, but you’re still ridiculously sweet. You can be a little spoiled!” 
“I told you before, I have all I need,” Jumin smiled with such adoration it put the sun to shame in its warmth. “Because I have you, I have everything. All I could ever want is for you to stay.” 
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.” 
Jumin chuckled, pressing a kiss into your hair, speaking softly for only you to hear. 
“Then I suppose my wish came true.” 
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prune-life · 4 years
Text
Lily and Daffodil
Ship: Shinsou X Kaminari
Warnings: uhh prolly just cursing and a bit of fluffiness (but not alot)
A/N: It's 2:33 and I just finished this so I'm sorry for any grammatical errors :'). I know it's not that (you'll see what I mean) time yet, but I hope you enjoy nevertheless
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Dying flowers were many of the painful things that Shinsou looked at, and recently they became more and more frequent. Honestly, even after two years of learning about smaller types of herbalism and plants, he didn’t know what to do.
His window sills were decorated with sigils of pots filled with the soil that brought him a peace of mind, the earthly smell waking him up everyday with early scents that sent his mind into a frenzy, releasing endorphins like never before and, to be honest, he could say at this point the waft alone was a drug to him all-in-one, intruding it’s way into his nostrils without a care in the world while his cat brashly scratched at the pots and – more than once – tried and successfully knocked them over, which then ended in two ways.
One was a mess on the floor, usually looking like someone had stepped in with mud whipped boots after being out in the rain and aimlessly standing in a puddle while waiting for a miracle to happen, getting cold feet and trying to find their way out of a tongue twister like an utter fool, while the other reason was pretty much simple; falling over the balcony brim and staining the hanging, usually white clothing of his neighbour, Katsuki Bakugou, who mostly directed sentences not appropriate for the children living below him, and his own roommate which was a green haired, freckle nosed attentive named Izuku Midoriya, the one that usually took care of the person below who, in return to the good old one-two his cat gave to the bombarded bastard’s clothing, reverberated shouting and snarly comments on and on about how he was going to murder his precious pet and choke it to death, or shove the dirt of his plastic pot down his throat and grow plants in there himself.
If Shinsou didn’t know better than to immediately judge people, he’d assume more than once that Bakugou's hobby was mass murder and the achievement of threatening people in ways that shook them to their very core was to leave them sobbing in a dark corner and think about the day they crossed him. Not Shinsou. He, simply and easily, didn’t care. The only time he did was when his cat was almost stepped and rolled over by the ash blond – now that was the very end of his patience, and he decided to move them inside.
However, when it came to his plants meeting their demises without him being able to click on a tool of the search bar in the application called Internet, and his mind went blank the moment he tried to find the words, he knew, he was pretty much fucked, and beyond that, he couldn’t get out of his room when he found out that the owner at the flower shop he worked at, Aizawa Shota had to take vacation because his daughter, Eri, got chicken pox for the first time, sure, he knew how it felt, since he shared his own phase of annoying little red dots, so he understood, but what really, really, shook him up was the fact that he had to run the shop by himself now. Him, a seventeen year old student on his way to starting summer break, taking care of a flower shop, all alone?
Sure, the honour was there, but, why?
Why?
“Why..?” he stared at the flowers that laid limp in his hands, the pot at it’s peak of breaking from the roots, getting it’s fair pay of getting bumped and falling over because costumers weren’t 'watching their step'.
He sighed and curled his index finger under the falling flower, setting it aside as the doorbell above the glass door rang a sweet, high pitched melody.
The glass of his greenhouse standing tall and proud, sun smiling down at all the other healthy flowers made him blink twice, eyes adjusting to the light quickly to be present for the costumer, while in the meantime, he ran his hands on the pastel, coffee brown apron on his body and pulled down his white button up shirt.
“Welcome,” he sent a lazy smile up at the beaming man with light orange hair, a black stripe visible on the side of his head, messily running down a sideways undercut he styled his hair into.
His grin shined pearly white as he waved at the man and looked around silently, his gaze running over all the other flowers that were erect pridefully in their beauty from around the room, arduous honey-like smell injecting his nostrils and brain like gasoline. It was almost sickeningly sweet for a newcomer, and by the way his face scrunched at the horrendous sweetness, he was most definitely a stranger – or, maybe just the fact Shinsou never saw him before – a smile like that doesn’t just pass by and his clothing style was also rather amusing to the eye. Comfortable, per se, he rocked a simple white shirt and black pants with a yellow jacket that tightly closed itself around his narrow hips, and Shinsou eyed him head to toe, intrinsically curious about the casual, but new fellow.
“Hey man,” he spoke amiably, “I’m looking for uh... Lily and Daffodil?”
Shinsou squinted his eyes, before a snort came out from between his lips, and he had to put his black gloved hand up to them to keep himself from chuckling at the youngster.
“Lilies and daffodils, got it,” he cleared his throat, a lopsided smile taking over his lips, “do you want them individually or in a bouquet?” he asked, stepping away from the counter and hiding the shattering pot under it, rounding and guiding himself towards hourglass vases plopped upon a collection of side view shelves from where he usually stood, flowers with neatly cut stems stuck in yesterday’s water, all waiting to be bought and given, if for oneself or for other.
“Uh..” the lost man tucked his hand into the low pocket of his jacket and pulled out a piece of paper, staring at it intensely, “Do you have hand tieds?” he questioned, reaching out his arm to hand the paper over to Shinsou, who took it and the gloriously sunny man stared back at the florist, who raised his eyebrows slightly and nodded intently, following along the vases until he came to a draft of three mahogany matched platforms and mixes of flowers, each organized along eachother, the spaces between them almost perfect.
He was aware of his boss's precision, but it sometimes drove him crazy when he got death glares for even slightly nudging a flower pot in it’s place if the others wanted something to buy. Otherwise, he’d say the job was a whole lot more relaxing than he thought it would, and his boss was more of a mentor upon nature rather than a prejudicial, pigheaded asshole.
“Uh-huh,” he hummed and picked the tied bouquet, carefully taking it towards the counter while eyeing the still pulchritudinous plants grown by non other than himself. He was a fan of herbs, but flowers were something that held a soft spot in his heart.
He set them down on the counter gently, content with the idea that they’d finally go out to see the rest of the world, even if temporarily and only as far as a few blocks from his greenhouse.
“Ten daffodils and five lilies, that’ll be four thousand ninety five yen,” he slipped the flowers into a paper wrap to secure they wouldn’t fall out, the crackling of paper as he genuinely tried to create none but an unwrinkled piece showing within the smooth surface of the sheet, as it ringed the flowers like a shell for protection and he waited as the man before him fumbled with the zip of his wallet and handed him a five thousand yen note.
He exchanged the currency that was left to go and handed him both the flower and the coins, watching the man’s eyes twinkle with joy as he cradled the flowery stems in his hands like a newborn baby.
Shinsou smiled, enjoying the view and the sudden affection the man showed towards the piece warmed his heart and made the tips of his pierced ears tint a glowy pink, internally simmering with pride.
“Thank you,” he grinned form ear to ear, turning around and stammering his way towards the door, sparing Shinsou one last glance, and an attempted wink.
The indigo haired insomniac stood and watched as he began to disappear behind transparent crystal walls, looking down at the paper that remained in his hand, a digit of numbers pessimistically written downhill on the paper with a small heart at the corner of it, and he couldn’t help letting out an amused hum, slipping the sheet into the back pocket of his black jeans.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his side pocket and he quickly yanked it out - a new notification popped up at the very top of his other messages and alarms - whilst a deep, growly chuckle from further amazement erupted from his chest.
|Calendar 12:00 |
|JUNE 1st Pride month|
|Midoriya Izuk... 10:38|
|Boss: what's a be.. 4:56|
|Neighbour: Why is your fucking cat meowing on my balc.. 6:16|
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Thank you for reading <3
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firebrands · 4 years
Note
Send me a ship and a number and I'll tell you: 14,22 and 33 for stevetony obviously
14. Anything they both dread?
The end of their relationship. Accidents, death, acts of god, that’s all part of the hero gig. Tony’s always about optimizing things, getting better, back up plans for his back up plans. So he worries, he worries a lot when things are good between them. He worries about how he might fuck it up, how he probably will fuck it up, and how he could live without Steve being his, but still being there, just out of reach.
Steve worries that one day their arguments will get the best of them, that there might just be that one thing they can’t walk back from. He doesn’t know what it’ll be, and there are some evenings while Tony’s asleep in his arms that he thinks about what could go wrong, what would make Tony leave, what could make him leave. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t like not knowing. But there isn’t much either of them can do about it. And it’s not like Steve to bring it up.
(There’s one time when Tony does bring it up, casually as he’s cutting into his steak on their weekly date night. “d’you ever think about why we’d break up?” and Steve puts down his glass of wine. Tony looks up because Steve’s so quiet, and he’s about to make a joke, take it back, and but Steve clears his throat and says, “yes, sometimes,” and Tony nods, and Steve takes Tony’s hand and raises it to his lips, and that’s that.)
22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?
Always. Tony very nearly throws a tantrum when Steve has to miss their anniversary because of a SHIELD mission, and more than once Tony has double booked himself and ended up having to cancel on a movie with Steve because he had a work meeting he absolutely couldn’t miss. Everyone hates it when this happens, and Tony reminds JARVIS to make sure his schedule is tip top, and Steve brings home pizza and asks that debriefs be moved a day or two later. No one expected that it’d be schedules that’d trip them up so much, or be what makes them take much more care of each other, but at least now they’re all saved from the storm cloud over Tony’s head and Steve’s half-pouts and flippant “it’s nothing”s.
33. What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?
Steve gives Tony little things - a nicely designed postcard, prints of Iron Man fan art, coffee beans from different parts of the world. And every time he hands something to Tony, Tony’s whole face lights up like it’s something precious, which just makes Steve get him more things, makes Steve pay attention whenever they’re out and Tony points out something pretty, or interesting, or cool. Next thing Tony knows Steve’s handing it to him, sometimes wrapped, sometimes just in a paper bag, but always with a soft smile on his lips. Tony makes sure to hang them in his office, or in the lab, or in their room. 
Tony would give Steve the world if he wanted it (but he doesn’t, so Tony won’t). He knows Steve well enough to know that Steve won’t like big things, anyway. So he buys Steve suits, ties, cufflinks. He buys art, once he figures out what kind of art Steve likes; big paintings that he has framed and hung all over the tower, and when Steve notices a new Monet, he says, “is that new?” and Tony shrugs and says, “yeah, do you like it?” and Steve opens and closes his mouth a few times, and then Tony smiles a little and Steve spends a next few minutes appreciating the art, gripping Tony’s hand tight in his. 
Tony does other things, too, big things by normal people standards - sets up a charity for veterans, organizes visits to old men who served in WW2. He buys a plot of land outside the city and pays for organizations to care for pitbulls who have been rescued from fighting rings, and then another for greyhounds, and then another for old racehorses. He drives Steve over when these places are open and set up, and they spend a day with the dogs and a day with the horses, and all of the volunteers and staff just boggle at these two men cooing over animals. 
Send me a ship and a number and I’ll tell you…
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Note
zadison
1.     Who kissed the other first?
Madison got really close to do it, but Zoe actually hadto close the last few inches between them.
2.     What was their first fight about?
It happened that same day when Queenie asked who kissedthe other first.
3.     Who sleeps in the couch more often?
Zoe. Madison refuses to leave her bed, dosen’t matter howbad the fight is, so Zoe just grabs her things and go to the couch or an amptyroom if she has the choice.
4.     Who drinks coffee and who drinks tea?
They both drink coffee like is water.
5.     Who goes grocery shopping more often?
Zoe, because she likes to do it. She leaves a piece ofpaper in the nightstand so Madison can write the things she wants during theweek. Madison hates supermarkets in general.
6.     Who brings breakfast in bed?
Usually, none. But on the days they don’t have to work orthey’re celebrating something, it would be Madison. It’s like the only time sheever wakes up before 10pm.
7.     Who sleeps first?
Zoe is gone as soon as she closes her eyes.
8.     Who watches the other sleeping?
Zoe takes a few precious seconds to watch Madison beforeshe wakes up everyday. She likes to keep that angelic image in her head whenMadison starts acting like a bitch.
9.     Who met the parents in law first?
Well, Madison technically met Cordelia first, if that count.But she was also the first to go meet Zoe’s real parentes. The girl took her toher childhood house in their second thanksgiving together (both her parentshated Madison the second they saw her).
10.  Whodoes the laundry?
Zoe. Madison prefers to just buy new stuff.
11.  Whowashes the dishes?
Madison, because Zoe uses the laudry as an excuse.
12.  Whoclean up the house?
They have their atribuition in the Coven, but Madisonspent most of her time adding songs to the ‘Cleaning the House’ playlist shehas on Spotfy.
13.  Whowashes the car?
If they had one, no one does. It just get dirtier anddirtier eveyday.
14.  Whobrings take outs?
Madison, when she pass by Zoe’s favorite places, or Zoewhen she’s out of the house and gets hungry.
15.  Whocalls the other to ask if they want something from the street?
Zoe, she’s the sweetest person. Madison just grab it ifshe thinks Zoe might want.
16.  Who’smore likely to make plans?
Zoe is Cordelia’ child, ok? She have every second of herday planned in details, but Madison always finds a way to ruin it.
17.  Whodreams about a big wedding?
They don’t think about marriage in general, but Madisonsometimes picture how big she could get before Zoe puts her foot down.
18.  Whobreaks the cups?
Zoe in normal days, Madison when she’s drunk.
19.  Whoholds the umbrella?
Zoe. Madison is always busy either looking at her phoneor at her nails.
20.  Whotakes the other to the dance floor?
In nightclubs, Madison, when start to play some popsongs, but Zoe have to drag her when it’s playing anything else. It’s a goodthing they both like to dance.
21.  Whodoes the big romantic gestures?
Madison. She’s not afraid to spent money to take Zoe tothe mountains in a helicopter or rent a plane to fly over the house with a big‘I love you, Zoe’ or anything bigger or crazier than that. Zoe is all smalllittle things.
22.  Who’smore likely to serenade?
Zoe. She did it once when Madison annoyed her and theother girls still make fun of Madison because of that (she shut the window thesecond she saw what Zoe was doing).
23.  Whoforgets the wet towel in bed?
Madison does it evey fucking time and Zoe always make abig deal out of it (until one day she was the one who forgot and Madison willnever let her forget that).
24.  Whodon’t pick up things when they fell?
Madison. She’s just too lazy.
25.  Whokeeps losing the keys?
Zoe. She literally can’t remember where they are. To tryto help her with that, Madison buys the most extravagant locksmith she canfind.
26.  Whosings the rap part?
Madison, and she rocks it.
27.  Whopretends to be sad just so the other will cheer they up?
Madison, the big baby.
28.  Whowakes up ready for a maraton?
Zoe dosen’t wake up with full energy, but she is readyfor it after a cup of coffee.
29.  Whobuys them tickets for shows?
Madison buys tickets for every show in town, dosen’tmatter if they even like the band or not.
30.  Whochoose the movie?
Madison likes to pretend it’s her, but she always chosesomething she remember Zoe mentioning at some point.
31.  Whosays ‘I love you’ more often?
Zoe. Madison rolls her eyes everytime (she’s more actionthan words).
32.  Whokeeps waving at people after they got engaged?
Zoe, the small bean! She can’t believe it, for real, soshe keeps staring at her finger all day, until someone pass by and she wavesslow enough so the person can see the huge ring.
33.  Whouses the most ridiculous nicknames for the other?
Madison, to be sarcastic or piss Zoe off (Zoo, baby babe,little Sunshine), but Zoe trully come up with some of her own because she thinkis cute.
34.  Who’sresponsible for date nights?
They switch, one date each.
35.  Whowakes up one day and decides to stay in bed?
Madison does it very often, but Zoe is all in for thatduring the weekend.
Send me a ship
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Welcome to P.O.L.O. Gold & Silver Exchange, your premier jewelry store serving the Fort Worth, TX area for over 33 years. We pay premiums for all types of gold and any other precious metal jewelry such as earrings, bracelets, necklaces, watches, coins, diamonds, sterling silver jewelry, silver coins, cocktail rings, wedding bands, class rings, and cluster rings and broken and unwanted jewelry. We are also expertizing in watches, brand name knives, stamps, and coins worldwide as well as paper money and bullion.
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ricardian-werewolf · 2 years
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I posted 251 times in 2021
40 posts created (16%)
211 posts reblogged (84%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 5.3 posts.
I added 150 tags in 2021
#harriet rambles - 33 posts
#harriet lovecraft - 23 posts
#herbert west - 22 posts
#boardwalk empire - 14 posts
#fanged death - 12 posts
#reanimator - 11 posts
#american vampire - 9 posts
#my art - 9 posts
#richard harrow - 9 posts
#clara thompson - 8 posts
Longest Tag: 123 characters
#fuck power steering and my small frame - i’d be terrorizing the neighborhood on a phone book and a brick for the gas pedal.
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
A list of current characters in my Boardwalk empire fanfic who’re supernaturals, or becoming ones:
For further context, vampirism in this alternate universe is seen as the “hot” new thing, until prohibition creates serious problems.
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Enoch (Nucky) Thompson - turned by his (now dead) wife, and uses this newfound power to easily rise to his current position.
See the full post
13 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 20:32:59 GMT
#4
chapter 5: after you’ve gone
Summary: it is the autumn of 1917, and Paris is a place largely untouched by the war. It is here we lay our scene, for Harriet to rekindle an old friendship, and for Herbert to become accustomed with this older time. tags: none. Other than the characters do drink blood. 
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1917, Paris.
The moon is high in the autumn sky as Lestat de Lioncourt pushes the lid of his coffin up.
He emerges from it, fangs sharp and his eyes bright. The moon outside the windows is full, giving him a burst of energy.
The lace cuffs of his shirt tickles his hands as he pats down his blonde curls.
His hunger plays with his nerves as he drifts through the apartment, twitching back one of the curtains to see the streets below.
The platform patriots of the earlier years are gone, replaced with women who stand on corners, armed with white feathers of cowardice.
He’s fought in wars before. But not this one.
The sharp pangs of hunger in his head jerk him out of his thoughts.
The night is still young. Young enough to spend precious time searching for a woman, in a back alley.
He departs the apartment shortly after midnight, and hunts like a shadow of death through the oldest parts of Paris.
***
Harriet walks through the city, her arm locked with Herbert. The two of them wear their black jackets that signify them as doctors. The white band around her arm, with the crude Red Cross on it, helps them from being cat called by young women, alive and undead alike for their failure to serve the country.
 Meg and Dan have busied themselves with trying to obtain visas to stay in France, and are both not speaking to Harriet out of rage for what she’s done to them.
Several of the cafes are still open, so Herbert decides to let them both rest, and drags Harriet into one, oddly enough directly across the street from Lestat’s apartment.
They sip chilled sang avec épices which helps sate the initial thirst brought by time travel and stress.
“So. What’s our plan?” He asks her in Russian, in a low voice.
“I’ve enlisted both of us in the 42nd battalion of the Canadian expeditionary force. They’re looking for medical orderlies who can serve out long stints on the front,” she explains, handing him a Manila envelope containing their enlistment papers.
With a swift slice of his pinky, Herbert has deftly ripped the envelope open, and pulls out the paper, noting the smell of ink on his hands.
He reads through it, gives her a smile, and then tucks it back in, pushing it back to her.
She snatches it back, stuffing it into her interior coat pocket.
It’s good she does that, for there is someone at her elbow.
“Lady Howell, is that you?”
Harriet jumps, and looks up, into the face of Lestat.
“Ms. Lovecraft, actually. I found out I was adopted after the titanic sank. Paul and I are separated now, Lord de lion court,”
Lestat smirks, bringing a chair over to sit in.
“You know you can call me Lestat, chèrie,” he fiddles with the emerald ring on his thumb, and places his hand under his chin, looking at her with a piercing gaze.
“Lestat then. This is my boyfriend, Herbert West, of Miskatonic university,” she indicates Herbert, who gives Lestat a small smile.
“Ah! So you’ve managed to ensnare this beautiful testament of our kind, hm?” A waiter breezes by, and he orders a café au sang.
See the full post
14 notes • Posted 2021-02-11 23:36:25 GMT
#3
A collection of drawings of Harriet Lovecraft
These were drawn follwing her return to Providence, and her subsequent débutatent balls.
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15 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 01:52:32 GMT
#2
May the Firth be with us all, Colin Firth corner of tumblr.
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20 notes • Posted 2021-05-04 14:25:03 GMT
#1
So, I just started season 3 of BWE, and my god. RICHARD. Massive rambling below.
****
He’s the only thing standing between Gillian’s totally warped control of Tommy. I just want to hug Richard and bury my face in his hair. He deserves bowls of hot soup and time in a loving home. I woke up this morning with his name on my lips and scared my dad, who was like. Why did you say his name?!
I blushed and lied. Anyways, I love this man, and I blame my heart for making me go after Van Alden, when it should have been pining for Richie. And now, it is. And I don’t think it’ll ever stop. I’ve been reading @puddykat and @portiaadams fics about Richard, and I blame them partly for my pining, which isn’t a bad thing. But I just want this wounded soldier as my friend, and maybe even a family member. I feel like we could connect over a lot of stuff, and I’d love to get to know him on a more intimate level.
This pandemic has been hard, and I’ve gotten a lot of comfort characters, but I connect to Richard on a visible level, because we both share our scars of survival, reminders of clawing out of our graves. I can hid mine beneath a shirt, but I often play it off as never happening. I haven’t been ready to face it, until recently, where I stood in front of my mirror and traced it. And this is because seeing Richard as a person, despite his disability, made me strong enough to face it.
So, thank you, Richard Harrow, for making me strong enough to face my scars and realize that they are a part of me, just as yours are as much a part of you.
(I know there are people who like Gillian, please don’t come after me. This is my view of her as far as I’ve watched.)
26 notes • Posted 2021-07-15 01:21:53 GMT
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heresjeonny · 7 years
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EXO 101: A Crash Course
Park Chanyeol 
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Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 
Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  
Byun Baekhyun
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Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  
He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 
D.O./Do Kyungsoo:
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Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo...I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 
He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)
Lay/Zhang Yixing
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ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 
Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 
And...his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 
Suho/Kim Junmyeon
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I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy--
Yup. Moving on. 
Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember...1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure--
Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 
He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 
Oh Sehun
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Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 
People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 
Everyone is in love with him. 
His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 
Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  
Chen/Kim Jongdae
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Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 
1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}
2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone
3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl. 
4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 
5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 
6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 
Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 
Xiumin/Kim Minseok
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HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)
Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him
Is the least likely to cry
Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 
Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 
Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe....
Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 
Kai/Kim Jongin
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R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 
The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 
Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 
His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao
He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 
Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter
Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT
He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!
Other random facts: 
-  EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay
- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 
- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 
- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him
- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 
- Kai dated F(X)’s Krystal 
- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 
- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby
- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 
For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33
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incognitofoxxo · 7 years
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Transfer
“Dear Carrots, whenever I see you around the precinct or get to hang out with you (because you’re always so busy) I treasure the time we spend and the joy I feel. Whether we grab a bite to eat or we get assigned to a case. It’s all the better when I’m there with you. Even though we get assigned to rough cases, you’re optimistic yet suitable attitude always brightens up the situation and your face always brightens up my heart. I feel as though I can trust you with anything I tell you and you won’t think differently of me, however bad it may be. You’re always there for me and are so supportive. Judy, the truth is, I love you. I know it’s pathetic. A fox in love with a bunny. It’s abnormal. No one will agree with it. But your species doesn’t define who you are. You are so much more than the cute bunny you call yourself. You’re my everything. And I know it’s love from the amount of times I’ve just wanted to kiss you or invite you around mine for the night. But I know it’d make things worst if I did. I know you probably don’t like foxes in the same way I like bunnies, but you are seriously the best mammal in the entire world and at the age of 33 I think I may have found love for the first time in my life.” There was a large crinkle across the small paper which looked like water has set. That water could have only been one thing; salty tears.
“I know that when you get this, I’ll already be at my new precinct halfway across the country in the tactical team, but even though I may not return, I wanted to send you this letter to tell you how much you mean to me over the past few years and what I’ve been hiding for that time.”
Judy dropped the paper as she rubbed her eyes from the exasperatingly arrogant tod’s letter.
The tears that drooled down her cheeks was inducing her to reminisce the times she had bawled into Nick’s creamy, dreamy and furry chest that ushed his scent into her nose that seemingly calmed her like a pacifier does a baby.
She wanted to just feel him, just to at least touch him and they’d only been 2 days apart. She craved to caress his muzzle or playfully grab his ears. She just needed to reprieve this torture she was enduring and squeeze him tight in her arms for the reassurance that he was okay.
Nick was far from okay though. He was in hospital, internally bleeding to his death. All because someone wanted $20. He was about to lose the most precious thing to him. Judy. He was fight FOR HER. He was try to fight for her at least. He imagined her busting through the doors any second and reassuring him it would be okay. But no one came. No one. Then as his fatiguing body managed to pick up his phone out his blood drenched pocket, he laughed to himself as he sent a text he’d been debating on sending for a few years. “You’ve had a good run, Nick.”
He only had himself for company and after he sent the text he just about managed to phone her. He anxiously waited as it rung.
“Nick? Are you okay, I saw your text and I read your letter and I-”
“Judy, I don’t have long.”
“What are you on about? I lo-”
“I got shot and now I’m internally bleeding but I think this’ll be last ever chance we’ll have to speak.”
“…” Judy went quiet before dropping the phone in complete and utter shock. The only thing to prevent her dumbfounded fit persisting being her landlord banging on the ceiling with a broom. She scrambled back to the phone. “Nick, are you joking because if this is just a joke I’ll-”
“If you don’t believe me, video chat with me.” She wanted to see him for the final time if he was lying. He HAD to be lying. There wasn’t any doubt.
As she caught the stunning gaze of her fox companion with his eyes ringed in weariness, she broke down in tears. “I love you so much Nick.”
“I’ve wanted to hear that for the last 3 years. Ha- *spluttering*”
“I could look into your eyes for so long, they-”
“Look, Carrots, I love you. You mean more to me than anything. Don’t cry because I’m going away for a while. I’ll always be here for you. You know I will and besides, you get my apartment and basically everything I own. Just think of this as my way of saying thanks; for everything you did. Just keep being you, I couldn’t stand to make you miserable. I love you, carrots. I just wish you were here with me right now.” He started to cry. For the first time in his life with Judy, he’d cried and she wasn’t even there to comfort him. She watched him helplessly as he bawled his eyes out to her. “I’m scared, Judy.” She so badly wanted to hug him, to reassure him that it was all going to be fine. That he was as soft as she’d imagined him.
“Nick, be quiet, you’re not going anywhere. You’re staying right here with me, in my apartment and you’re going to sleep with me every night. I’m gonna hug you every night. I’m gonna watch a movie with you every night, we’ll still be solving cases together, you’ll still be there for me. I know you will.”
“Judy, I love you and if I could hold your paw now I would. But no one should have to watch their loved one die, how does tomorrow sound for muzzle time?”
“That sounds great Nick. I love you so much. I love you more than the world itself. You’re -heck, you’re…” and as she was halfway through her life confession, she heard the monotone sound that signalled something she could only mark as her best friend’s, her lover’s, her wannabe mate’s death. She couldn’t deal with it. She hung up. After she had done, her phone was flung off the bed and Nick was undoubtedly revived only to be slammed into surgery to correct it. The severity of his condition heightening to nothing they could have predicted.
All in the meanwhile Judy was mourning over the death of Nick after her chief had made the fatal decision to put Nick on a transfer. All because he didn’t want Nick in his precinct with disregard for anyone’s opinion.
She had enough. She was resigning. With the absence of Nick on the force, there was no point of being there. With the absence of Nick in general there was no point in being alive. He was her. He was what kept her going. He was what made her the most important beautiful amazing mammal he described her to be. He was the strife in her life.
Now she thought he was gone, she had to somehow make it on her own without her foxy little sidekick.
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the-end-of-art · 7 years
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A mixed grill of happy anticipation and dread
Anne Lamott: 12 Truths I Learned from Life and Writing TED talk (https://www.ted.com/talks/anne_lamott_12_truths_i_learned_from_life_and_writing/transcript)
My seven-year-old grandson sleeps just down the hall from me, and he wakes up a lot of mornings and he says,"You know, this could be the best day ever." And other times, in the middle of the night, he calls out in a tremulous voice, "Nana, will you ever get sick and die?"
00:31
I think this pretty much says it for me and most of the people I know, that we're a mixed grill of happy anticipation and dread. So I sat down a few days before my 61st birthday, and I decided to compile a list of everything I know for sure. There's so little truth in the popular culture, and it's good to be sure of a few things.
00:57
For instance, I am no longer 47, although this is the age I feel, and the age I like to think of myself as being. My friend Paul used to say in his late 70s that he felt like a young man with something really wrong with him.
01:13
(Laughter)
01:17
Our true person is outside of time and space, but looking at the paperwork, I can, in fact, see that I was born in 1954.My inside self is outside of time and space. It doesn't have an age. I'm every age I've ever been, and so are you,although I can't help mentioning as an aside that it might have been helpful if I hadn't followed the skin care rules of the '60s, which involved getting as much sun as possible while slathered in baby oil and basking in the glow of a tinfoil reflector shield.
01:51
(Laughter)
01:53
It was so liberating, though, to face the truth that I was no longer in the last throes of middle age, that I decided to write down every single true thing I know. People feel really doomed and overwhelmed these days, and they keep asking me what's true. So I hope that my list of things I'm almost positive about might offer some basic operating instructions to anyone who is feeling really overwhelmed or beleaguered.
02:24
Number one: the first and truest thing is that all truth is a paradox. Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift,and it's impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It's been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely sensitive. It's so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder if we're being punked. It's filled simultaneously with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty, desperate poverty, floods and babies and acne and Mozart, all swirled together. I don't think it's an ideal system.
03:04
(Laughter)
03:07
Number two: almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes --
03:13
(Laughter)
03:15
(Applause)
03:19
including you.
03:22
Three: there is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind of lasting way, unless you're waiting for an organ. You can't buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind. This is the most horrible truth, and I so resent it.But it's an inside job, and we can't arrange peace or lasting improvement for the people we love most in the world.They have to find their own ways, their own answers. You can't run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and ChapStick on their hero's journey. You have to release them. It's disrespectful not to. And if it's someone else's problem, you probably don't have the answer, anyway.
04:11
(Laughter)
04:12
Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don't get your help and goodness all over everybody.
04:28
(Laughter)
04:31
(Applause)
04:33
This brings us to number four: everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy and scared, even the people who seem to have it most together. They are much more like you than you would believe, so try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides. It will only make you worse than you already are.
04:51
(Laughter)
04:56
Also, you can't save, fix or rescue any of them or get anyone sober. What helped me get clean and sober 30 years ago was the catastrophe of my behavior and thinking. So I asked some sober friends for help, and I turned to a higher power. One acronym for God is the "gift of desperation," G-O-D, or as a sober friend put it, by the end I was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.
05:24
(Laughter)
05:31
So God might mean, in this case, "me running out of any more good ideas."
05:37
While fixing and saving and trying to rescue is futile, radical self-care is quantum, and it radiates out from you into the atmosphere like a little fresh air. It's a huge gift to the world. When people respond by saying, "Well, isn't she full of herself," just smile obliquely like Mona Lisa and make both of you a nice cup of tea. Being full of affection for one's goofy, self-centered, cranky, annoying self is home. It's where world peace begins.
06:17
Number five: chocolate with 75 percent cacao is not actually a food.
06:23
(Laughter)
06:27
Its best use is as a bait in snake traps or to balance the legs of wobbly chairs. It was never meant to be considered an edible.
06:41
Number six --
06:43
(Laughter)
06:46
writing. Every writer you know writes really terrible first drafts, but they keep their butt in the chair. That's the secret of life. That's probably the main difference between you and them. They just do it. They do it by prearrangement with themselves. They do it as a debt of honor. They tell stories that come through them one day at a time, little by little.When my older brother was in fourth grade, he had a term paper on birds due the next day, and he hadn't started. So my dad sat down with him with an Audubon book, paper, pencils and brads -- for those of you who have gotten a little less young and remember brads -- and he said to my brother, "Just take it bird by bird, buddy. Just read about pelicans and then write about pelicans in your own voice. And then find out about chickadees, and tell us about them in your own voice. And then geese."
07:52
So the two most important things about writing are: bird by bird and really god-awful first drafts. If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours, and you get to tell it. If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should've behaved better.
08:11
(Laughter)
08:14
(Applause)
08:19
You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs -- your truth, your version of things -- in your own voice. That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born.
08:42
Seven: publication and temporary creative successes are something you have to recover from. They kill as many people as not. They will hurt, damage and change you in ways you cannot imagine. The most degraded and evil people I've ever known are male writers who've had huge best sellers. And yet, returning to number one, that all truth is paradox, it's also a miracle to get your work published, to get your stories read and heard. Just try to bust yourself gently of the fantasy that publication will heal you, that it will fill the Swiss-cheesy holes inside of you. It can't. It won't. But writing can. So can singing in a choir or a bluegrass band. So can painting community murals or birding or fostering old dogs that no one else will.
09:40
Number eight: families. Families are hard, hard, hard, no matter how cherished and astonishing they may also be.Again, see number one.
09:53
(Laughter)
09:54
At family gatherings where you suddenly feel homicidal or suicidal --
09:58
(Laughter)
10:00
remember that in all cases, it's a miracle that any of us, specifically, were conceived and born. Earth is forgiveness school. It begins with forgiving yourself, and then you might as well start at the dinner table. That way, you can do this work in comfortable pants.
10:20
(Laughter)
10:23
When William Blake said that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love, he knew that your family would be an intimate part of this, even as you want to run screaming for your cute little life. But I promise you are up to it. You can do it, Cinderella, you can do it, and you will be amazed.
10:45
Nine: food. Try to do a little better. I think you know what I mean.
10:53
(Laughter)
11:03
Number 10 --
11:04
(Laughter)
11:06
grace. Grace is spiritual WD-40, or water wings. The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin and me exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild. Go figure.
11:26
(Laughter)
11:28
The movement of grace is what changes us, heals us and heals our world. To summon grace, say, "Help," and then buckle up. Grace finds you exactly where you are, but it doesn't leave you where it found you. And grace won't look like Casper the Friendly Ghost, regrettably. But the phone will ring or the mail will come and then against all odds,you'll get your sense of humor about yourself back. Laughter really is carbonated holiness. It helps us breathe again and again and gives us back to ourselves, and this gives us faith in life and each other. And remember -- grace always bats last.
12:13
Eleven: God just means goodness. It's really not all that scary. It means the divine or a loving, animating intelligence,or, as we learned from the great "Deteriorata," "the cosmic muffin." A good name for God is: "Not me." Emerson said that the happiest person on Earth is the one who learns from nature the lessons of worship. So go outside a lot and look up. My pastor said you can trap bees on the bottom of mason jars without lids because they don't look up, so they just walk around bitterly bumping into the glass walls. Go outside. Look up. Secret of life.
12:59
And finally: death. Number 12. Wow and yikes. It's so hard to bear when the few people you cannot live without die.You'll never get over these losses, and no matter what the culture says, you're not supposed to. We Christians like to think of death as a major change of address, but in any case, the person will live again fully in your heart if you don't seal it off. Like Leonard Cohen said, "There are cracks in everything, and that's how the light gets in." And that's how we feel our people again fully alive.
13:39
Also, the people will make you laugh out loud at the most inconvenient times, and that's the great good news. But their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you. Grief and friends, time and tears will heal you to some extent. Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate and moisturize you and the ground on which you walk.
14:04
Do you know the first thing that God says to Moses? He says, "Take off your shoes." Because this is holy ground, all evidence to the contrary. It's hard to believe, but it's the truest thing I know. When you're a little bit older, like my tiny personal self, you realize that death is as sacred as birth. And don't worry -- get on with your life. Almost every single death is easy and gentle with the very best people surrounding you for as long as you need. You won't be alone.They'll help you cross over to whatever awaits us. As Ram Dass said, "When all is said and done, we're really just all walking each other home."
14:55
I think that's it, but if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.
15:00
Thank you.
15:01
(Applause)
15:03
Thank you.
15:04
(Applause)
15:06
I was very surprised to be asked to come, because it is not my realm, technology or design or entertainment. I mean, my realm is sort of faith and writing and kind of lurching along together. And I was surprised, but they said I could give a talk, and I said I'd love to.
15:25
(Video) If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours and you get to tell it.
15:32
Anne Lamott: People are very frightened and feel really doomed in America these days, and I just wanted to help people get their sense of humor about it and to realize how much isn't a problem. If you take an action, take a really healthy or loving or friendly action, you'll have loving and friendly feelings.
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scriptaed · 7 years
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paper hearts. 11
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♡ genre: angst/fluff
♡ pairing: reader x jungkook
♡ length: 5.2k
♡ synopsis: It has been nearly a year since you started writing anonymous letters to Jungkook, giving him words of encouragement behind the thin mask of a paper. He never considered you as a possible suspect behind these letters, because you were nothing more than a best friend. And you couldn’t put all the blame on him either, after all, you were too afraid to confess in fear of tarnishing your precious friendship.
Not too far off into the distance, the white noise that had originally lulled you into deep sleep began to switch off with the limited number of channels your television could receive. From the sports commentators to the replays of late night talk shows, the flickering of channels and audio brought you back to your consciousness. Your mind, along with your vision, was still blurry as your hooded eyes struggled to keep open. With each passing second, you gradually came to recall your surroundings. Here you were on your small couch placed in the living room, your criss-crossed legs and baggy sweatpants only confirming your loose theory of your whereabouts. In the corner of your eyes, you took note of the boy who had been surfing through the channels all along.
Judging by the way his eyes were glued to the television screen, giving you full access to view his sharp jawline and plump lips, he must have not noticed your awakening. It wasn’t until then that you realized your head had been leaning comfortably against his arm, his half sturdy half tender arm serving as your pillow. The soft, cotton material of his blue and black checkered flannel only helped cushion your left temple that laid against him, the warmth of his body radiating as you wrapped your arms around his. As guilty as you were of inviting Jimin over only to fall asleep, you had to admit this position was so incredibly comfortable that it would have been impossible for you not to accidentally doze off.
A buzz interrupted your flow of thoughts, drawing you back into consciousness as your phone vibrated against your right thigh as you had left it in your lap earlier. You furrowed your brows and groaned, grabbing your phone and squinting at the glaring screen. You hadn’t contacted anyone in a few days, so who could’ve been texting you? Reading the name printed on the one notification displayed on your lock screen, you finally snapped back into reality as you recalled the last thing you had done before falling asleep.
You [7:39 PM] Hey?
Jungkook [7:48 PM] Hey...
You [7:51 PM] You busy tonight?
Jungkook [7:58 PM] Not really. Why?
Jungkook [8:33 PM] Y/N?
Scanning over the last few texts only made you cringe over the apparent tension between the two of you. After many days of contemplation, you decided there were still so many questions left unanswered and that it’d be impossible for you to move on if things didn’t come full circle. So tonight, you had tried to strike up a conversation without coming off too distant or awkward, especially how things had left off just a week ago, but now it was more than obvious to you that Jungkook felt the same way. Things weren’t the same anymore, the two of you had at some point in time confessed to one another and whether the feelings still remained was irrelevant. He replied much slower than usual, but you knew he must have read your messages just a few minutes after you had sent it. He always did, after all, he was always on his phone gaming away. It was just that he struggled to formulate an appropriate response, much like how you had struggled to start off the conversation.
“Finally awake now, princess?” Jimin teased, causing your eyes to snap up to find his gaze flicker between you and the phone. Before he could even read the messages off your screen, you quickly turned it off and returned the soft, gentle smile of his. You lifted your head off his right shoulder to nod, giving his right arm a slight squeeze. He was still blankly staring at your phone for a few seconds, blinking a few times, before returning his attention to you. “Did you have a nice nap?”
“Not gonna lie, it was pretty nice until someone disturbed my sleep,” you joked, glaring at him and breaking out into a yawn as you stretched out your arms and feet.
“Yah, you left the TV on some baking channel! I can’t watch that for an hour straight,” Jimin defended.
“Okay, okay,” you nodded, waving him off. 
“Geez, you never believe me,” he scoffed.
You glanced at the television screen, frowning as you watched him persist his journey to find the perfect channel. Returning to your phone, you glimpsed between your screen and Jimin, making sure that the coast was clear before you proceeded.
You would be lying if you were to say you didn’t feel guilty, in fact, the guilt was so dreadful that it panged against your chest every second you kept your secret hidden. But you knew you’d feel even guiltier if you had told him your plans to meet with Jungkook tonight. He’d misunderstand, because not even you wanted to go through the endless pain and weakening determination that seemed to return as a result of seeing your best friend, the receiver of your unrequited love. Nonetheless, the only way you could move on was to answer all the questions you and Jungkook had failed to resolve before. The status of your friendship, your future relationship, and how you two actually and truthfully felt for each other were just a few of the questions clouding your mind these days. You simply needed answers.
You [8:37 PM] I need to talk to you about something important. Can you come?
To your surprise, it didn’t take very long to receive a reply. Luckily, the buzz of your phone failed to distract Jimin from the fight scene displayed on the television screen.
Jungkook [8:39 PM] What’s it about?
You [8:40 PM] Us...
Your blunt, forthright answer might have shocked him, because his next message came by a lot later than the prior one. Seeing how Jimin was now shuffling about in his seat, his eyes wavering between the clock and the television screen, you knew he was trying his best to ignore the constant rings of your phone. You quickly sent Jungkook the rest of what you had to say, finishing the conversation before things could go out of hand and unnecessary hurt inflicted upon Jimin.
Jungkook [8:43 PM] ...you sure?
You [8:44 PM] Yes, so can you meet up in ten minutes? The same spot as usual?
Pressing send, you discarded yourself of the main source to your growing guilt, throwing your phone to the right on your couch.
“Are you busy…?” Jimin hesitantly questioned, his stare flickering between you and your phone. The lack of expression from both his body language and his face told you he wasn’t particularly irked, otherwise it would’ve been more than obvious. But his eyes were wary, his hands were now folded neatly in his lap, and his body was just slightly more tense than when you had drifted off to sleep before. You had to play this safe, you reminded yourself. It was better for Jimin this way, because as impossible as it was for a boy like Jimin, jealousy was a prominent threat to his and your relationship. This was the best decision for you and Jimin.
“No, I’m just tired,” you quickly covered yourself up, smiling at him in reassurance. Watching Jimin blankly gaze into your eyes, his absentminded appearance contrasting the gut instinct of yours that told you a million thoughts were running through his head right this moment, it only made you question yourself and your actions. “I’ll just go freshen myself up,” you mumbled, jumping up from the couch and shuffling your way towards your bathroom.
You splashed a couple handfuls of cold water onto your face, gulping as you recalled the void of Jimin’s dark eyes, the way his warm, brown eyes distorted into darkened ones. His lips spilled nothing, but his eyes revealed everything. He must have known something was up. Jimin was experienced, way more experienced than Jungkook, so he wasn’t oblivious to things like this. The mere thought of Jimin’s transition from the soft, sweet boy you had once knew to an intimidating, experienced bad boy made you shudder. This wasn’t the first time either, in fact, you had seen it several times since you had placed the lock necklace around his neck just last week. But even through it all, Jimin still treated you like his very own princess, he was still the boy you had fallen for in the first place… just much more aware and wary than you had seen him before.
“How long are you staying, Jimin?” you called out to him from the bathroom. Checking your appearance through the mirror, you remembered you weren’t going out on a special occasion. You were just meeting up with Jungkook, your best friend whom you had always been less than self conscious around. You tied your hair into a messy bun, waiting for Jimin’s delayed response.
“I don’t know, that depends on you. Do you want me to leave soon? Are you busy?” he flatly asked.
“What? No,” you frowned, making your way back to the living room only to find yourself furrowing your brows at the sight before you. Jimin had just reclined back into his seat on the couch, his eyes staring at your phone that laid on the opposite side of him. Your eyes might have been playing tricks on you, but you could’ve sworn he had touched it in some way shape or form.
“Alright,” Jimin muttered, crossing his arms and refocusing on the television screen.
He was obviously still bothered by your text messages, and whether he had checked your phone or not, you couldn’t say you didn’t feel the same. As considerate as Jimin tried to be, it would still be slightly intrusive if he had really looked through your phone. This wasn’t the first time either. Jimin had read Jungkook’s paper heart, too restless to ignore the letter before him, and now he was reading through your texts? Granted, he did have some reason to question your more than suspicious behavior, but something about his overprotective ways irked you the wrong way.
“I’m going to meet up with Jungkook,” you revealed. You figured it was better for you to be upfront now than cause more misunderstandings later. You couldn’t handle the thought of more misunderstandings, not after all that you had to go through with Jungkook. You would make this one right, it was your second chance and you couldn’t blow it up.
“...why?” Jimin uttered, standing up from the couch and turning around to face you. The same emotionless expression of his daunted you as you struggled to keep your eyes on his.
“I want to ask him something. There’s so many questions I have and they’ve been bothering me for so long… I can’t just leave things like this,” you blurted out, persisting to explain when he remained silent. “I’m doing this for us, Jimin! It’s the only way I can move on from Jungkook!”
He stared at you for a good few seconds, uncomfortable silence ensuing as you could feel his eyes tearing you down with guilt. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him. Maybe the truth only hurt him than if he had turned his eyes away. “Okay, have fun,” he mumbled, about to turn away when you questioned his simple answer.
“What do you mean by that?” you knitted your brows in frustration.
“I mean exactly what I said. Have. Fun.”
“Are you upset?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You’re obviously not fine! Just tell me if you’re upset--”
“--I said I’m fine!” Jimin cut you off, raising his voice and gritting his teeth. “I signed up for this anyways. So who am I to complain?”
“Signed up? You signed up for this?” you scoffed. You narrowed your eyes at him, crossing your arms and huffing. “You know what? You’re right, you signed up for this. So why are you getting so worked up for? What’s wrong with me seeing my best friend?”
“Your best friend,” he repeated, jaw dropping in disbelief as he ran his hand through his hair. “There’s nothing wrong with it, so go have fun with your best friend!”
“Just tell me not to go and I won’t go!” you yelled, the words slipping through your lips before you could even realize it. If he could read your letters, look through your phone, and act so protective over you as though you were his and only his, then why couldn’t he just tell you not to go?
“No,” he said, his eyes peering at you from under his bangs, looking straight into yours. “If it’ll help you move on as you said, then I’m fine.”
“You’re fine? You’re fine being hurt? I don’t get it, you’re so protective over me one second and the next second you’re acting as though everything you do is for the sake of me!” you spilled out your inner thoughts.
Jimin furrowed his brows, looking up from the ground and locking eyes with you. He eyed you down, uncrossing his arms to grab the lock hanging from around his neck. “Then why did you give this to me?!”
“What?”
“Why did you tell me you were mine? Why did you accept me in the first place? Why won’t you let me open your heart?” Jimin pleadingly questioned, his hands clutching onto the lock and pounding against his chest, his eyes brimming with sorrow and pain. Your heart ached just looking at him standing there, spilling his heart out to you, but most importantly, it hurt seeing how his eyes begged for you to notice him. He was practically crying out to you, telling you to do something you could only do with time. So in lack of an answer, you countered him with another question.
“Is it really my heart that you want opened, or yours?”
Jimin’s brows furrowed in response to your question, his silence overtaking the conversation as he pondered over what you had just said. His darkened eyes peering into yours, but obviously in a world elsewhere. Before you could apologize for the sudden outbreak, he grabbed his black leather jacket off the couch and walked past you before mumbling quietly, “sorry about tonight. I’m heading home.”
A few minutes had passed, but all you did was stand there in disbelief over what had just happened. Someone who had always been so sweet to you, doing something that only bonded the two of you even closer, all of it had been ruined by one simple argument. Or maybe it wasn’t as simple as you had originally thought. You didn’t know Jimin had this side to him, but you couldn’t blame him. He was so protective over you that he feared anything that would harm you or take you away from him, especially if it were Jungkook. This wasn’t entirely his fault, after all, you had accepted him despite knowing all this.
Walking to the couch, you picked up your phone and checked your messages. There was an unfamiliar message left by Jungkook sitting in your inbox, you couldn’t recall reading it, and yet the message was left unbolded as though it had already been opened.
-
The tension in the air seemed to carry on with you, but this time it had converted into a rather awkward silence between you and Jungkook. He sat on the opposite side of the table, leaning slightly more forward compared to what he usually did when he would slouch against the back of the chair with his legs comfortably spread apart. This was the first you were meeting up with him since he had left you teary eyed, your hands clutching onto the paper heart in the middle of the hallway.
“So… how’s Jimin?” Jungkook hesitantly broke the silence, his arm reaching over his shoulder to scratch the back of his head.
“That was quite possibly the worst question you could ask…” you grumbled, “but not exactly great.”
“Ah,” he uttered, “I’m sorry to hear that… did you guys get into a fight…?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh,” Jungkook pursed his lips, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to come up with something to say. “So… what did you want to ask me about?”
You raised both brows, suddenly remembering why you had called him out here in the first place. “I… I just wanted to confirm a few things.”
Jungkook slowly nodded.
“Why didn’t you believe me?” you flatly asked, peering into his large, circular eyes that urged you to continue. “Why didn’t you believe me when I told you I was the one who made those paper hearts?”
Jungkook’s eyes widened, taken by surprise over the true reason you had asked to meet up with him. His lips parted, but they failed to utter a single word. He then shut his lips, blinking a few times with a blank expression before parting them once again. “I was in denial.”
“You said you saw me slipping one of my letters into your locker,” you quirked a brow.
“I was in denial,” he repeated, “because I couldn’t believe my best friend was in love with me. I thought, no, I wanted to believe you were simply helping out a friend. I’ve only seen you as a best friend, and  I forced myself to see you as only that. Papers weren’t enough to snap me out of denial, Y/N. I needed confirmation, I needed you to tell me in person, and when you did, I gave up. I finally believed you.”
“Then why didn’t you ask Yuri about her lie?” you questioned next.
“I did.”
“When?”
“I asked after the school festival. You told me that you were dating Jimin, and quite frankly,” he chuckled, ruffling his hair, “I was jealous. I was frustrated at myself for being one step behind, and I wanted to confirm what I already knew. So I asked her, and she had no choice but to tell me the truth.”
“Then... why’d you stay with her?” you shook your head and furrowed your brows in disbelief.
“We weren’t actually dating anymore. After hearing about you and Jimin, I thought it’d only make things more complicated if I were to announce my breakup with Yuri. I didn’t want you to be any more hurt than you already were,” Jungkook confessed, his peering eyes telling you he was saying nothing but the truth.
Hearing about how close the two of you were to avoiding all of this mess, if Jungkook had realized his feelings sooner, if you hadn’t lied about your fake relationship with Jimin, if Jungkook hadn’t been so considerate and prioritized your feelings over his, maybe this all could’ve been avoided and maybe the two of you wouldn’t be sitting here with your hearts shattered and chest aching. You softly chuckled in disbelief, nodding your head in acknowledgement of your realization.
“Okay… then last question,” you took a deep breath and sighed, “what are we now? Are we still best friends? Friends, even?”
“I want to remain best friends,” Jungkook quickly replied. 
Your eyes widened in shock, he was much more upfront with his feelings than he had been in the past. It was clear he had been thinking about this for days. His eyes were filled with the utmost sincerity as he leaned in with his hands folded and rested across the table. This was a boy who couldn’t help but step out of his comfort zones in order to get his message across, a boy who had learned a lesson from his countless mistakes. He then gave you a soft, lopsided smile, the bittersweet look of his causing your heart to ache. “But I don’t think that’s quite possible right now.”
“Shouldn’t we take a short break from each other… maybe figure ourselves out?” you frowned, trying to reason your way out of this. If you were to remain best friends with Jungkook, you knew you would only fall for him once again. Your feelings for him would return, rushing through your veins at full speed and forcing you to use every ounce of you not to succumb to your foolish desires. You promised Jimin you had came here today to sort your feelings out, that today would be the day you would finally move on from the past. And as much as you were irritated at Jimin, this was the least you could do. No more misunderstandings, no more lies.
“I know, I know, it’s not a good idea when you’re with Jimin now, but…” he stared at the table, his eyes wide with fear, his head shaking as he failed to come to terms with reality. “But can’t we please just stay friends? Please?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea…” you muttered, eyes glued to the tabletop barely missing him wincing at your comment.
“Why?” he asked, his uneven breathing and the slight crack of his voice indicating that he had lost all hope. Seeing how desperate he was to keep you two together shattered your heart, your nails digging deep into the palms of your hand in order to keep your mind off the aching of your chest.
“I just… can’t,” you struggled to tell him the truth. He couldn’t know the truth, it would only make this a whole lot harder.
“Come on Y/N, we can’t just let something as silly as this ruin our friendship. We’ve been friends for years now! I get it if you need time… but can’t I at least know why?” he persisted. After you remained quiet for a good minute, Jungkook took a deep breath and shakily sighed. “Then is it my turn to ask you one question?”
Despite feeling the piercing gaze of his, you remained staring at the tabletop. You knew the second you returned to meet his eyes, all of your determination would be for nothing. He knew you inside out and he could see right through your lies.
“Can you look me in the eyes?” Jungkook gently requested.
Every part of you tensed up when you realized Jungkook knew his way around your lies. But you complied, you wanted to get this over with, maybe his question wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it would help the both of you officially move on. After all, you did come here to sort out your feelings. So slowly, your gaze trailed up from the table, up the buttons on his red jacket, and until your eyes were gazing into his.
“Do you... still like me?” he slightly lowered his chin, his eyes glancing at the tabletop before returning to peer up at you.
Your eyes widened as you flinched, your eyes looking into his all knowing ones, but too afraid to turn away. It didn’t matter what you said now. He knew your answer from the mere glance of your eyes, your body language, your everything.
“And do you still like me?” you questioned him.
With one look in his eyes, you could already answer your own question. You didn’t need words, because your answer matched his and it was as simple as it could be:
Yes.
-
The chilly air of the night sent shivers down your spine as you strolled down the streets towards your house. Jungkook had somehow managed to convince you of persevering and protecting the friendship you had never ceased to cherish. Although you initially cursed yourself for listening to his pleads, and most importantly succumbing to your inner desires, you couldn’t remain oblivious to the many logical reasons he had made. Jungkook still liked you, maybe more than as a friend, but you could say the same. As long as you refused to rekindle the once fervent affection for your best friend, then everything would turn out fine… right? Or was it really wrong to be happy?
You quickly snapped yourself out of your thoughts by giving your cheeks a few light pats. You hummed to yourself in an attempt to drown out your thoughts and the distracting world around you, cars zooming down the streets to your left and people drinking in a bar to your right.
“Jimin-ah!” someone called out from your right, a clink of the two glass bottles following soon after. You quirked a brow, whipping your head to the right to find Jimin’s circle of friends seated at the barside and drinking. Kim Taehyung was the owner of the voice, his blond hair ruffled in a mess as he happily poured himself another cup of alcohol. Scanning through the dimly lit bar, you looked for the one, and surely enough, you found Jimin drinking himself away across Taehyung.
“I told you not to call me that!” Jimin slurred his words, the alcohol obviously getting to him. “You… little brat.”Jimin leaned forward, his body nearly collapsing onto the table, before he caught himself and gave Taehyung a weak slap to the arm.
“Yah, yah,” the blond shut his eyes, a grin spreading across his face as he drowned himself in his subconscious thoughts. He pointed straight in between Jimin’s droopy eyes, a frown forming on his lips. “Didn’t you say… you were hanging out with… what’s her name?”
Jimin cocked his brow for a second, his carefree expression dissipating as he shook his lowered head. You intently watched him through the glass walls of the bar, seeing his knuckles turn pale as he clutched the green glass bottle of his.
“Y/N,” he uttered.
“Who?” Taehyung nearly yelled, leaning forward with a hand cupped around his ear. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you!”
“Y/N,” Jimin mumbled, raising his voice and smacking Taehyung’s head.
“Where’s… she then?” Taehyung questioned, scratching the spot where Jimin had just slapped. He leaned backwards into an upright position, but due to his impaired state, he nearly fell off his chair before grabbing the table to bring himself back up.
“I don’t know…” Jimin took a deep breath and sighed, his eyes failing to keep open as he poured himself another drink. “Probably with her best friend…”
“Best friend...? Jungkook?!” Taehyung shouted, his eyes popping open. “Don’t they have something going on?!”
Jimin lowly chuckled, biting his bottom lip and nodding his head in acknowledgement. “I guess everyone knows about them two…” he muttered his next few words, “...but they never seem to know about us.”
“Yah! Why are you acting like that?” Taehyung scolded him. “You’ve gotten so many girls before, you’re at the top of the market, Jimin! I’m... I’m sure Y/N will come around.”
Jimin just sat there silently, unfazed by his friend’s words of comfort. After a few seconds of silence, he finally shook his head and laughed in disbelief.
“Even if she did, I don’t think I could treat her right,” Jimin said, his raspy voice sincere, gentle, and controlled, as though alcohol did not course through his veins that very moment.
“Oh!” Taehyung exclaimed, pointing at his necklace, “what’s that? Did she give you that? Yahhh, I told you she liked you! Who would give someone a lock necklace if they didn’t like them?”
Jimin’s eyes widened, raising both his brows before giving him a lopsided smile and shrugging. “I hope you’re right,” he then downed another glass of his drink. Jimin clasped the lock hanging from his neck, clutching it so tightly that it even hurt you to see how pale his hand was becoming. Taehyung watched him curiously, ruffling his own hair a few times as he tried to figure out what his friend was saying.
“There’s a lot of girls out there, Jimin,” Taehyung resorted to his usual ways, “you don’t have to settle down with Y/N. Why go through all the heartbreak when you could date around and have fun?”
“I don’t want to! I want her!” Jimin suddenly exploded, slamming his fists onto the table and causing you to jump in utter shock.
“I don’t get it,” his friend grimaced, crossing his arms. “We’ve been making the rounds since forever, and now out of the blue, you’re telling me you’ve changed? Jimin, it’s not that easy to change our habits. You know that right?”
“I know,” Jimin’s voice cracked, completely breaking down as his brows furrowed in frustration, realization flooding him all at once. “I’m a terrible boyfriend. I read her letters, I invaded her privacy, I checked her phone… it’s just that I’m so scared she’s going to leave me.” He took a deep breath, shaking as he did so, and exhaled. “Ever since she gave me this,” he tightened his clasp on the lock, “I’ve been in more pain than I could even imagine. I’m scared every day, Taehyung, I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep my promise and that I won’t be able to make her forget Jungkook. I just want her by my side, every single minute. I want her to be mine.”
Taehyung eyed his friend down, time freezing for a second as both of you tried to take in that Jimin had just spilled his heart out. Your chest wrenched, it twisted and turned and ached so much that you had to clutch onto it in an effort to soothe the pain. This wasn’t the Jimin you knew. His love for you had always seemed to come right out from the very pages of a fairytale, when in reality, his affections for you was a twisted type of sweet, fervent love. His desire to make you happy and his yearnings to have you by his side melted your heart, and yet, the way he wanted you with him every minute, every second of the day? The way he wanted you to be his, not in a hopeless romantic way, but in a contorted, possessive way? He loved you so damn much that he nearly wanted to control you, and you loathed that the most.
“I don’t think you should drink any more, Jimin...” Taehyung lowly spoke, reaching out to pat his friend’s shoulder, “you’re not in your right mind, I mean, your words don’t even sound right.”
Jimin glared at Taehyung, smacking his hand away from him and standing him from the table. “I’m only saying what’s been on my mind for days now. Don’t you dare tell Y/N before I figure myself out,” he instructed Taehyung, accusingly pointing his finger at him before stumbling his way across to the exit of the bar.
For some reason, your foot stayed planted on the floor, refusing to hide yourself from Jimin. You stood there, gaping at the scene in front of you until your eyes met with his. Jimin stood right before you, his body having to lean against the doorway in order to support his weight. He looked at you with dazed eyes, eyes that were void of any expression and remorse. You parted your lips, ready to say something, anything, when Jimin seemed to snap back into wholesome consciousness. His eyes slightly widened seeing you stand there in silence before they returned to his usual, hooded, darkened ones.
“You saw all that, huh?” Jimin chuckled to himself in disbelief, lazily pointing his thumb back at the bar behind him. When you just stared at him, refusing to answer, he buried his hands into his pockets and continued. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
Jimin then took a few strides towards you, his eyes staring at your hands, debating whether or not to take them, before ultimately deciding to merely walk past you. His shoulders just barely brushing against you as he led the way home. Quietly and reluctantly, you followed his guide.
If having your confession rejected by your best friend was the hardest thing you had ever done, then tonight’s walk under the starless night sky would be the second most heart breaking and shattering event to date.
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sugarypixel · 4 years
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answered 100 random questions because i just felt like ranting i guess.
1.  if you could pierce somewhere other than your ears, where would it be? I always thought eyebrow piercings were cool.
2. if you could be in a movie franchise (already made or a book that should be made into a movie), which would it be? Does Pokemon count? Because Pokemon.
3. what are your feelings on bangs? Bro I absolutely adore bangs, they are so cute.
4. what is your favorite blanket material? Anything super plush and soft.
5. who is the last person you were mad at? My parents.
6. if you had to be sent up into space or into the depths of the ocean, where would you choose? Spaaaaaace.
7. if you acquired an island, what would you name it? I already have an island and its name is Sugarpeach.
8. are you afraid of death? why or why not? Of course I am, I don’t want to die because I don’t know what’s waiting on the other side and because there are way too many things I want to do before then.
9. what astrological sign do you think you should be? Uhh I’m pretty sure I’m an accurate Sagittarius. Even the symbol speaks to me.
10. who is the worst person you have ever dated? I’ve never dated anyone because I have a hard time feeling romantic attraction to anyone.
11. if you could remake one movie the way you think it should’ve been made, which movie would you choose? Omg easiest question ever, Avengers Endgame.
12. if you had to be a teletubby, which one would you be? Bro Po all the way.
13. what are your feelings on caillou? Caillou is a good boi.
14. what is a custom/activity/experience/etc from another culture that you wish would be in your culture? Living with your family till you get married and it being seen as normal.
15. if you could choose where you were born, where would you want it to be? I guess anywhere that’s not the US cuz it seriously sucks here.
16. if someone told you they could tell you the truth about god/religion/higher powers/the universe/the meaning of life/what happens after death, would you want to know? YES.
17. what is your favorite part of your nighttime routine? sleep doesn’t count. Snuggling up and getting all cozy and warm.
18. what is your favorite form of exercise? I like swimming. Dancing is fun too.
19. what is one current trend that you hate? Conservatives refusing to wear masks and pretending like the virus is over just because they want it to be.
20. what is a trend that died that you would bring back? Can we please just bring back Vine?
21. what era of fashion do you wish to bring back? Absolutely the medieval era. I want people to wear full armor, capes, long hooded robes, flowing gowns, and the like again.
22. what is one movie or tv show that everyone loves that you hate? Uhhh basically any of those adult swim cartoons that use puppet animation. The humor is often racist/homophobic/sexist/etc. and the animation/art style looks ugly and uninspiring.
23. what is a question you have always wanted to ask but haven’t? why haven’t you asked it? I guess I want to ask my parents why they focus so much on the homosexuals being a “sin” and not all of the other way worse sins. I haven’t asked it because I’m afraid of getting disowned by them if they realized I was gay.
24. did you have a teacher growing up that helped you through a difficult time? who were they? Uhhh not really? But I really loved my 7th grade science teacher, he was fun. I can’t really think of any hard times I’ve had to go through but I think my first math help teacher in high school was really kind and caring.
25. think of a paper you have written sometime in your education. what was the topic? I once wrote about the over-sexualization of women in media in my junior year.
26. do you believe in universal healthcare? discuss. Of course I do, it just seems like a no brainer to want to help other people via taxes/socialism. Idk why some people act like it’s the worst possible thing that could happen. Like, capitalism already exists bro.
27. what is one song that makes you feel like love is real? It’s not a romantic type of love but Song of Hope by Crush 40 was written for Japan after their horrific tsunami. It feels like a very loving song and makes me believe that some people truly do care. Buuut romantic wise, Guide You Home from Spyro DotD sounds pretty romantic to me. And for familial love, I Want to Know from Kill la Kill sounds quite loving and precious.
28. what is one song that makes you feel like you’re dancing in a meadow with the sun shining on your skin? THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUSIIIIIIC~ (literally what other song could you possibly think of when asked this question)
29. what is one song that makes you believe that things will get better? Uhhh first song that came to mind was News 39 by MitchieM (or Hatsune Miku), it basically just talks about happy things in the news as opposed to all the depressing stuff we’ve been seeing lately.
30. have you met any celebrities? if so, who? All the celebs I’ve met have been from cons, there’s quite a lot but the ones most important to me would be: Masakazu Morita (JP voice of Ichigo from Bleach and Barnaby from Tiger&Bunny), basically the most influential VA of my life Johnny Yong Bosh (ENG voice of Ichigo from Bleach), Dante Basco (Zuko from Avatar), Janet Varney (Korra from Avatar), Anthony Mackie (Falcon from Avengers), and my main female celeb crush Lana Parrilla (Regina from OUAT). Also do music artists at their concerts count? Because deadass Mystery Skulls.
31. you’re being forced to move out of your country. you must choose another one to move to, and you may never leave it, even for vacation. what country do you choose? bonus points if you answer the city. Anywhere where there’s a competent leader that’s not a rapist, decent laws (like the freedom to marry regardless of gender, a ban on guns, etc.), free healthcare/college, and maybe doesn’t have a history of genocide? Does a place like this exist? Because I will move there.
32. do you believe in the death penalty? discuss. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe if there’s significant evidence that they purposefully and gladly murdered many innocent people and show no remorse whatsoever??
33. what do you think happens after you die? Bro I got no clue. But I had an interesting thought once that maybe when you die, you actually wake up and continue your life like normal, just not on the same plane of existence as Earth is, but it seems so real that you don’t even notice it.
34. name someone you love. My best friend.
35. name someone you like, but don’t necessarily love. Uhhh my former project coordinator at work?
36. how many soulmates do you think a person has? Probably an infinite amount lol.
37. what would you say was your sexual awakening? Finding hentai on the internet when I was in like 4th grade lol. But if you’re talking about my sexual orientation, I sorta first realized that gay/lesbian couples were a thing in 7th grade. Then in high school I realized I was pan and demi-romantic. That was when it made so much sense that I loved courting all the beautiful ladies in Harvest Moon A Wonderful Life when I was young dhjsskjssjsjsjs.
38. is love always worth it? discuss. This is pretty vague but yeah I’d like to think so. Sometimes people will betray you anyway though so it’s best to be picky about who you open up your heart to.
39. pick up your phone. look at the text you sent closest to an hour ago. what was it? It was “Ehhhhh” to my mom lol. I was feeling sick to my stomach.
40. do you believe in magical beings? discuss. Bro I am agnostic. So yes I believe in the possibility and I believe in there not being a possibility.
41. what time of the day do you feel most at peace with yourself? Well I like it when it’s between afternoon and evening and I take a nap. But I also feel at peace outside in nature on a sunny day. Or just seeing the sunrise.
42. choose one song. now choose someone else to sing it. what’s the song, and who is the new singer of said song? why? I’d be down for Emi Evans singing literally any song because I’m pretty positive she’s actually an angel with that gorgeous voice of hers.
43. have you ever cheated? on a person, on a test, in a game? why or why not? On a test and in a game, yeah. Why on a test? Because I hate the American school system. It’s cruel and evil and as a whole it disgusts me. Why on a game? Uhhh because I can? Lol, why not. Let me get all them rings to buy chao eggs in SA2B. (I’m talking about like single player video games btw, I wouldn’t cheat in anything multiplayer unless I was like 10 stealing money in Monopoly lmao.)
44. what is an impulsive decision you have made that you don’t regret? Mmmm my job at Nintendo? I don’t ever regret confessing my feelings either.
45. if you were given the opportunity to completely start your life over from the beginning with everything prior and up until your birth remaining the same, would you? Nah.
46. how do you feel about greek life in colleges? You mean like frats and stuff? Uhh to be honest I usually only ever hear bad things about them lol.
47. what is an aspect or event in history that you were obsessed with as a child? Never was too obsessed with history growing up I feel like. It all kinda sucked to learn about because America’s history sucks. I don’t mind learning about other countries’/cultures’ history though.
48. what would your wardrobe look like if you weren’t so afraid of being who you want to be? It’d probably be full of capes and full armor and long beautiful gowns and hooded robes and a bunch of hella gay stuff. I also just wanna wear rainbows and holographic stuff and lolita fashion, etc...
49. describe your ideal town to live in. Somewhere surrounded by nature I suppose.
50. what age are you scared to be? alternatively, what age were you most scared to be in the past? Uhhh like 80? Lol.
51. do you have a secret you want to share? be as vague or specific as you want. get it out. if you want. That I WANT to share? Seems unlikely. And the secrets that I want to share have most likely already been shared. A funny one I like to share is that I used to play ACWW under the covers at night when I was supposed to be sleeping. I told my mom that the other day and it was really funny lol.
52. do billionaires work harder than other people? discuss. Hell no.
53. if you had the means to start a charity, what would it be a charity for? Literally anyone anywhere who doesn’t have clean water. EVERYONE should have clean water.
54. what is your favorite hairstyle for yourself? Bangs down, hair long and poofy and wavy, with small pieces of hair on either side of my face pulled back into a tiny ponytail. Bonus points if I have little baby curls popping out from underneath, which I naturally do most of the time. I wish I had the energy to curl my hair more often.
55. what is your favorite memory from being 13 years old? This is when I was in 7th grade. Ironically that was my fave year of school. I was first introduced to anime, vocaloid, cosplay, cons, and really it’s just when I first got into music forreal. Some hilarious memories I have is my friend and I ditching class to go hang out with IT who couldn’t care less that we were there. We drew on their whiteboard and talked to them about nerd things since they were also nerds.
56. what is a movie that shaped who you were as a person at a young age? Omg, Thor lol. Pretty self explanatory if you know me well.
57. which us state would you erase if you could? LOL um... Let’s just go back to the source of the problem and erase D.C.
58. what is a skill you theoretically want to learn but probably never will? Aaaaaa I really want to be fluent in more than one language. I like to think I’ll at least learn how to play the guitar someday >_>
59. what is an obscure language you want to speak? Obscure? Hmm... Latin? Gaelic? And it’s not a real language but I wish I could speak the Chaos language from Nier ehehe.
60. you are put in a dangerous situation where you have to fend for yourself. what is your weapon of choice? why? Uhhh taser? I don’t want to kill anyone but I want to be able to immobilize them for long enough for me to be able to make an escape.
61. what is a place you choose not to go to anymore? why? School in general. I always hated going to school. Pretty much all of the nightmares I have are based in school.
62. do you think you’re living a fake life/putting on a facade/lying to people about who you really are? why or why not? When I’m at home, absolutely. My conservative parents don’t know I’m pan, a democrat, and agnostic. It’s painful to pretend I’m not any of those things.
63. what is the color that defines your life? why? I just wanna say pink because it’s my fave color lol.
64. you have the opportunity to go to an exclusive celebrity event. which one is it? (award shows, premieres, parties, etc) A premiere of one of my fave movie series would be fun (I only ever leave my house to go to movies anyway lmao). Avengers maybe? But Chris Pine wya?
65. you can bring back one person from the dead, but you must choose someone to die in their place. who are the two people you are choosing? I don’t really have any people close to me who have died so (aside from my cat Coonie but idk if that counts), I guess I’d pick Anton Yelchin to come back to life because his life was cut way too short. Donald Trump can BITE THE DUST. Pence can too lol.
66. what is your favorite fun fact that people don’t really know? Zero Escape has the best story ever. Hm? Wym that’s not a fact?
67. pick up the nearest reading material to you (book/magazine/paper/etc). what is the first line of that reading material? “Boys, help your sister to her room and call the medic.” from TLOK RotE Part 3 because I’m predictable.
68. if you had to choose a sport to play professionally, which one would you choose? Dancing is fun.
69. what is the worst way someone has betrayed you? Hah, easy one. Three of my closest friends all decided they didn’t wanna be my friend anymore in the same year and all blocked me without even trying to discuss the reason why with me. It’s fine though because the following year Spyro Reiginited was announced/released :) Spyro>>>>Humans
70. what do you do to unwind/cool down when you’re upset? Listen. To. Music.
71. what is the color scheme of your favorite sunrise or sunset? Various tones of pink~
72. what is a beauty product you swear by? Uhhh I’m not really good with this type of thing, but I always use Almay’s black liquid liner.
73. how do you feel about plastic surgery? discuss. Do it if you want, idc man. But I’m telling you right now your imperfections are what make you beautiful.
74. if you could get plastic surgery, would you? what would you change? Nah. I don’t want to feel unrecognizable by me.
75. cotton balls or cotton rounds? What the hell is a cotton round?
76. what is your favorite animal product? Uhhh milk? Dairy gives us pretty awesome things. I still like fruit better, though. And I’m not really a meat person.
77. what is one job that isn’t really around anymore that you would want to do? Human alarm clock sounds hilarious, I want to walk around waking people up by throwing shit at their houses.
78. if you lived in 1550, what would your life be like? make a character for yourself, but be honest about what it would actually be like. Is this like victorian era? Cuz I’d probably be too lazy to dress up in dresses and wear corsets all the time. I guess I’d draw a lot. Write a lot. Sleep a lot.
79. if you had to attend school in another country, which country would you choose? Mmm maybe Italy. Or Japan.
80. what will be/was the color scheme of your wedding? PINK and white.
81. is there something you have a really strong opinion about for basically no reason? what is it? Honestly just Sonic in general. I have MANY strong opinions. Positive and negative.
82. who is a person you would fight to the death for under any circumstances? My best friend.
83. what would you do if you were in the hunger games? be honest. Uhhh hide up in trees and wait for everyone else to kill each other lol.
84. what time do you think everyone should wake up? I’m personally not productive at all in the mornings, so any time past like 12pm lol.
85. what is your favorite type of nut? if you’re allergic to nuts, sorry. Cashews. Pistachios good too.
86. what is your favorite part of your hometown? The forest in general. I wanna live in a forest, but like without all the wild animals and bugs, thanks.
87. you must get rid of one of your electronic items. you have no choice. which one do you sacrifice? Lol I have plenty I need to get rid of, how about all the old earbuds I have laying around.
88. what is a conspiracy theory that you genuinely believe in? make it interesting please. Omg I love conspiracy theories so much. Zero Escape taught me so many and explained them through science and made them seem totally believable (please play Zero Escape). Morphogenetic field theory is pretty cool. Basically it’s an invisible field where you can transfer thoughts to another person. There have been experiments that prove it (people ask group A what is the picture of that they show them, none of them guess right. The people tell group A it is of a dog. Then they ask group B the same question and they all answer dog. So group A sent their thoughts to group B through the morphogenetic field.) so idk I wouldn’t be surprised if it was real. Also the many-worlds interpretation. Basically it’s about how there are many timelines and parallel worlds that exist. But I guess something basic that I totally believe in is alien life. There is literally no way there isn’t another lifeform out there in the ever expanding universe. Also 9/11 was totally all done by the US to start a war to make money.
89. what is the first memory you have of oppression/discrimination? it doesn’t have to be about yourself. There was a mentally disabled kid in our class in elementary school and people bullied him all the time. I remember one time I got paired up with him in a project and everyone started laughing and I got so pissed I yelled at the whole class for being dicks to him. Also just in general the R word used to be used really often. Luckily my generation grew up being taught to never ever use that word.
90. what is one song from the 80s that still goes so hard? Technically it’s late 70s but September by Earth, Wind, & Fire ROCKS.
91. what is a lyric that you hate? why do you hate it? There’s a song I really like that has a pretty homophobic/sexist line in it that bothers me really bad. But THE SONG SOUNDS SO GOOD AUGHHHH. The line is, “if you can’t be a man suck a fuckin’ dick”. Song is Mature Opinion (ironic I know) by Kenichiro Nishihara (but he just made the background music, the rapper is a different person). It’s so annoying because it’s exactly the type of sound I ADORE...I usually skip the line on purpose anyway.
92. name 3 books you were forced to read in school. The Bean Trees, Catcher in the Rye, and The Great Gatsby.
93. how do you keep track of events/deadlines? calendar? agenda? your brain? My phone’s calendar.
94. what is the first book that made you cry that comes to mind? Probably some LGBT romance manga lol.
95. if you had to give a seminar about something, what would it be about? I am NO expert (I don’t think any artist considers themselves an expert honestly) but I wouldn’t mind helping new artists out. I also always liked critiquing people’s essays/stories in school.
96. how do you feel about your mother? I love my mom and I appreciate that she at least tries to be considerate of my feelings on certain political topics. She is slightly more open than my dad is about that stuff. She used to be a lost worse growing up with her anger issues, but she’s getting better. It worries the HELL out of me that she thinks being bisexual is worse than being gay or lesbian. It makes me not want to ever come out to her about my pansexuality (I’ve resolved years ago that I’d tell my parents if I ever got into a serious relationship with someone who is not a straight cis boy lol). I appreciate that my mom listens and shows interest in some of my hobbies I talk to her about. I wish she’d open up to more genres of music. I love how much she loves and cares for me, I’m pretty sure I’m her best friend. I’ll always be there for my mom when she’s grieving. The way she chews with her mouth open and talks with food in her mouth drives me up the fucking wall. I know my mom worries about me and my mental health and I am grateful for that. I love it when my mom plays the piano music I request her to play. I love it when she actually likes certain songs I listen to. I wish she’d play video games with me lol. I wish she’d care less about swearing and cleavage. I appreciate that despite growing up in an incredibly strict Christian household (literally her dad was the principal of the Christian private school they went to) she gave me a more freeing childhood and went way easier on me than her parents did on her. I wish she’d love animation and action movies more. I love how she’s always willing to help me with making my cosplay. I love doting over our cat together. Idk, I have a lot of feelings about my mom lol.
97. is makeup an art form? discuss. Without question. You’re literally painting on your face, what more is there to say.
98. what kind of videos do you primarily watch on youtube? I love watching Vinesauce play games lol, especially corruptions.
99. what is the scent of your deodorant? “Powder fresh”.
100. at what age do you hope you die? At whatever age has me feeling like dying has more benefits than being alive.
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