#the most invalidating force in my life right now and i try to understand her and I try to be a good communicator | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1kook · 3 years

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new parent syndrome

— kim namjoon x (f) reader

SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.) WARNINGS dilf!joon, dreamy husband joon, loving parents au, jimin is also a dad, bathtub sexy times, exhibitionism 😳 kinda sorta, tiny praise kink, joon calls her wifey TT, fingering, cunninglingus, doggy style, it’s kinda cheesy n romantic /.\, unprotected sex, …. impreg kink RATINGS m (18+) WC 9.5k

NOTES writing parent fics is harder than i thought :/ i had this idea last week n was like yes, lets write this fic that absolutely no one asked for... except me! <3 so here we are, fantasizing about dreamy dad joon.... as always i have to thank rumu ( @kigurumu ) who is kind enough to edit these n b like that don't make no sense -_- anyway lemme know what u think !! enjoy !!

No matter how hard you try, the letter f refuses to fit itself into Hyejoo’s phonemic understanding. She’s a growing toddler so it’s only normal that there are sounds she still can’t pronounce, words she doesn’t quite get. But her inability to say food or family or friends, which are undoubtedly the three most important things in her three year-old world right now, is definitely a setback you didn’t see coming.

Your worrywart husband has taken matters into his own hands, using the power of Google and about twelve parenting books to create an extensive, one-hour-a-day, mini lesson to try and increase her pronunciation skills. Of course, Hyejoo already attends daycare in the mornings while you and Namjoon are off at work, and gets sufficient learning done there. So she can’t exactly sit through Joon’s lectures, no matter how pretty he tries to decorate her flashcards. She’s still tiny— she’s still your baby, and you want her to enjoy the last of her daycare years before you’re forced to submit her to the worst twelve years of her life (also known as compulsory education).

But as you’ve mentioned before, Namjoon doesn’t quite feel the same way.

“She can’t sound out the letter,” he mopes in bed that night. He’s laying down beside you, face smushed against your thigh. The lamp on your side of the bed is the only thing on, casting a faint golden hue on his cheeks.

This conversation has occurred a variety of times these past few weeks, and you’ve just about ran out of every comforting reassurance possible. You settle on stroking a hand through his hair. There are emails to respond to and clients to check in with, but there’s also a huffy husband in bed beside you who quite pitifully crawls up into your arms.

It’s with his face between your boobs that he speaks again. “What if she’s getting made fun of at school? Or her teachers think she’s dumb?” You roll your eyes. “My baby is not dumb, __,” he says, as if you don’t know. “Her IQ came back above average when I took her to the development specialist that one time, remember?” You have half the mind to tell him an IQ test on a three year old isn’t exactly valid, but there’s already enough stacked on his plate. Finding out he wasted a hundred bucks for an invalid test would just be the cherry on top of all his worries.

Water clings to the very tips of his hair, remnants of his bath with Hyejoo. Namjoon is getting older now, nothing like the dashing grad student you had met what feels like a lifetime ago. There’s bags under his eyes, bags that surpass any all-nighter-pulling college student’s, induced by none other than the sheer power of becoming a parent. And still, he retains his beauty, looks like a doll with his skin so dewy from his skincare routine, lips puffy and red and kissable.

He looks up, and you take the opportunity to place a kiss on his lips, his familiar scent making you melt into his arms. When he pulls away, there’s still a subtle furrow between his brows.

“Hyejoo is fine,” you reassure him, carding his brown hair out of his face. He leans into the touch, eyes falling shut. “Our girl is the smartest three year-old out there,” you huff, feeling the slightest bit annoyed that he could even insinuate otherwise. “And if she was having problems at school, you know I would be the first one in there, fighting all the other moms.”

Namjoon relents, face falling back into its haven between your tits. “Okay,” he mumbles, muffled from the way his plush lips drag against the soft skin over your sternum.

The subject of Namjoon’s worries is in the other room sound asleep, not the least bit concerned with measly letters and sounds. It’s really only Namjoon who is, his stack of letter flashcards glaring at you from on top of the dresser. “Your mother hen is showing,” you tease as he slips beneath the covers, leaning over you to flick off your lamp. Just like everything else in your house, his t-shirt smells like him. It’s a natural, woodsy scent that floods your nostrils and makes your toes curl when he comes so close.

Namjoon snorts as he settles beside you, beefy arm pillowing your head as he pulls you close. “I’m not a mother hen,” he says, hand on your waist, the tantalizing expanse of his neck before your eyes. “I’m the rooster— the cock,” he snickers, and you reward his terrible attempt at a joke with a pinch to his side that has him retreating to the other end of the bed.

Hyejoo’s best friend in the entire world— or, as she says, her best pren in the entire world —is none other than Park Yerin from daycare. As the universe would have it, Park Yerin is also the one and only daughter of your college philosophy seat neighbor, Park Jimin.

Crossing paths with him later down the road was not something you could ever anticipate, especially when you and Jimin were never that close in college to begin with. It was the only class you had with him in all four years, one where you had quietly acknowledged his charisma and occasionally shared homework answers, before never speaking to him again. You could have greeted him on campus, as you often crossed paths. But Park Jimin was a walking friendship magnet who seemed to bring with him a parade of followers everywhere he went, and approaching him required three layers of strategic planning if you wanted to catch him alone.

So bumping into him at the entrance of Hyejoo’s daycare six years later comes as a bit of a shock. You had never pegged him as the type to settle down so quickly— you don’t mean to label him, but there were certain college stereotypes that he fit like a glove —but there he was, carrying the tiny love of his life who’s currently dressed in a bright pink Minnie Mouse dress.

Unsurprisingly, just like her father, Park Yerin has the same enthralling personality that makes everyone in the three to four year-old daycare class want to be her friend, and your sweet little Hyejoo is not exempt.

Long story short, out of all the kids at Sunny Side Daycare, Yerin is Hyejoo’s favorite, and Hyejoo is Yerin’s favorite.

So now it’s been a little over a year since the two girls have established their friendship, which means it’s been a little over a year of acquainting yourself with Jimin again. He’s a house husband, something you never expected, and he loves his daughter like no other. Some afternoons after daycare are spent with Jimin and Yerin at the nearest coffee shop, watching the girls haphazardly scribble over every piece of paper they can get their hands on while the two of you catch up.

Overall, you’re happy Hyejoo can have a friend like Yerin, and secretly, you're also happy you can finally befriend a fellow parent as nice and put together as Jimin. On top of that, Namjoon’s liked him on the few occasions he’s met him; the two have even gone out for drinks.

However, befriending Jimin and Yerin comes at a cost, and that cost is seeing your little girl grow up.

It’s your turn to mope.

“Yerin asked her to sleepover,” you groan, sadly patting in your skincare routine the next night. Namjoon is somewhere behind you, his naked back glaring at you through the reflection of your vanity mirror. He’s so broad and big, sleep shorts clinging to his waist as he lotions up his body post-shower. There’s a thin gold chain around his neck that glints everytime he moves around, biceps flexing and bulging in plain view until he finally slips his shirt on. There was a time in your life where his back could not go more than two days unscathed, your rabid (read: horny) claw marks painting rosy trails down his spine. These days, you can barely remember the last time he’s held your hand.

“Who?” he asks once he’s settled beneath the covers with whatever book he’s reading now and his thick-rimmed reading glasses.

“Who else,” you say, tugging your night robe closer to your chest as if it’ll prevent your heart from breaking anymore than it already was. “Hyejoo’s first sleepover,” you sigh.

You take it harder than you imagined. In the back of your mind, you’ve always known your little girl was growing up— hello, you were literally watching her grow more and more inches every single day —but you had convinced yourself she would stay your baby for a little while longer. As much as you wanted her to see and learn about the world, you selfishly wanted to keep her home too. She was your baby, your only one at that.

At least Namjoon feels the same way. “Absolutely not,” he squawks, abruptly slamming his book shut. He’s usually really meticulous about lining up his fancy bookmark right on the line he left off on, so his sudden carelessness tells you all you need to know about how he feels.

You sit down beside him, hand over his. “It’s Yerin’s birthday,” you inform him in what you hope is a comforting tone; unbeknownst to him, you’re trying to reassure yourself as well. “And Jimin said he and his wife are gonna be there the whole night.” You trust Jimin, you really do. If there’s anyone who’s more in love with their kid than you and Namjoon, it’s Jimin. He would never let anything happen to his Yerin, and by extension, he would never let anything happen to your Hyejoo. He’s a good dad.

Namjoon rubs at his eyes. In the span of two minutes, he’s aged about five years. “No,” he sighs softly, squeezing your hand tightly. “Once she starts going to sleepovers she’ll start wearing makeup and getting into relationships and having her heart broken—“

A kiss is enough to silence him when he gets like this, his warm breath fanning across your bottom lip when you pull away. “She just wants to wear tutus and sing Baby Shark right now,” you murmur, hand creeping up over his chest. His heart is beating fast as hell beneath his t-shirt, feels like it’ll burst straight out of his chest if you don’t calm him down.

He’s the bigger worrier out of the two of you, has a classic case of paranoid parent syndrome.

It’s no secret that Namjoon has a big brain; he’s an educated man with a respectable job. For every problem he encounters, he can procure a variety of solutions with different approaches. He’s always prepared and part of you thinks he’s a huge reason you managed to survive those first few weeks as a mom. Unlike you, who had attended a whopping two mommy classes in preparation for your upcoming child, Namjoon had studied up on parenting. A lot. He had read books and reviewed scientific studies, had learned about development on the chemistry level and the social level, did all he could until he was confident in his own dad abilities.

But, for every solution Namjoon can find, there are always twenty-eight other factors to worry about.

“What if she has an allergic reaction and Jimin doesn’t know what to do,” he pales, death grip on your hand. His matching wedding band digs into your skin and you have to wrestle his hand away before he accidentally breaks your finger. He nearly broke your neck once when you were in college, had almost sent you to the ER mid-thrust because he had underestimated his own strength while trying to choke you.

“Hyejoo doesn’t have any allergies,” you remind him, giving up on your awkward half-seated position as you clamber over him. His thighs are full beneath you, tense up as you move over him and he manhandles you into his chest.

He’s not done. “What if she asks Jimin for a fizzy drink and he can’t understand her?” His eyes are owlish beneath his glasses, covered in what you can only describe as a visible sheen of absolute terror. “What if he thinks she’s saying ‘pissy’ not ‘fizzy,’ __— what then?” It’s amazing, really, how a man who graduated cum laude can hypothesize this many disasters pertaining to a four year-old’s sleepover.

In the other room, Hyejoo calls for you, so you gladly take the opportunity to remove yourself from Namjoon and his spiraling thoughts. “Look,” you say, tightening the sash of your robe as you get back up. “I’m gonna go tell her that she can go to Yerin’s sleepover tomorrow,” you tell him, giving him exactly three seconds to groan dramatically, before continuing, “and you figure out how to turn that big brain off by the time I come back.”

Luckily, the cause of Hyejoo’s sudden wake up is a tiny bug bite she got from playing outside that just won’t stop itching. “Mommy, it hurts,” she whines, digging her nails into the tiny red mark by her knee.

“Uh huh, lemme see,” you order, turning on her bedside lamp to illuminate the space. Her room is the prettiest shade of yellow, fitting for a ball of sunshine such as herself. “Were you playing by the flowerbeds?” You ask, running a finger over the mark a little too weird looking to simply be another mosquito bite.

She knows she’s not supposed to play near the flowers— the bugs like her a little too much. It’s with a hesitant little nod that she confesses to it. You give her a pointed look. “You’re not supposed to play too close to the flowers,” you remind her, a tiny scolding for now.

With a sniffle she responds, “not by the plowers.”

A little bit of anti-itch cream has her settling, and by the time you return to your bedroom, Namjoon is out cold.

“How old is Yerin turning?” Namjoon asks her at the door, heartbreak clearly painting his features as you help Hyejoo into her shoes.

“Pour,” she beams, her tiny hand held up to show four stubby fingers. She has Namjoon’s pretty smile, an honest look in her eyes that makes you want to put her in your pocket and never let her go. Alas, Yerin’s sleepover party starts at five and Hyejoo has been trying to leave since noon.

“Pour,” Namjoon repeats, shooting you a pointed look as if to say see. He had fought the decision up until the end, had even tried to tactically convince your daughter to stay home by getting a head start on preparing her favorite food. And well. She said no. So now the two of you are stuck having dinosaur chicken nuggets for dinner without her.

She’s got her little travel bag on now, tiny feet stuffed into her ladybug rain boots because it had rained last night and she’s awfully addicted to jumping in muddy puddles. She’s absolutely adorable, your little girl, and you think Namjoon might’ve let out a tiny sob earlier. (Or maybe it was you.)

Namjoon joins you at the front door. “Be good,” he warns her. His eyes are suspiciously wet, but you don’t say anything because yours are too. You’re both crouched in front of her, her big eyes glancing back and forth between the two of you without a care in the world. Mixing your self-assured personality with Namjoon’s (mostly) composed attitude was quite possibly the worst genetic crossover to ever happen; Hyejoo doesn’t even seem remotely bothered by the fact she’s spending her first night away from home. Meanwhile, you and Namjoon are on the verge of a joint breakdown.

Anyway, Namjoon gives in first. “Love you forever, princess,” he tells her, their ritual expression, and kisses her forehead.

She accepts it and then, in an unexpected turn of events, surges forward to hug him around the neck. “Love you pporever, daddy,” she repeats, and your heart feels so painfully full at the sight, like you just unlocked a new life achievement from seeing your daughter and her father be so cute together. You don’t get to coo at them for long, because then she’s giving you a warm hug as well, the same phrase muttered in your ear.

It’s the hardest thing about parenting.

Seeing your kid slowly broaden their horizons, meeting new people and learning new things. Leaving home. (Granted, she’ll be back by tomorrow afternoon but even that feels like an eternity away to the dramatic parents you and Namjoon have become.) The second goodbye on Jimin’s doorstep isn’t any easier, especially when Hyejoo tugs on your arm and asks you to “say night to daddy please” for her, and your heart breaks just a little more. Jimin flashes you an understanding smile but all you want to do is punch him in the nose for ever telling Yerin what a sleepover is.

You get home and Namjoon is in a calmer state by now, some old sitcom he hates playing on the TV. Usually, this time of day is reserved for his daily phonemic lessons with Hyejoo, drilling the f sound into her tiny brain, so you guess this is his preferred method of coping in its place: torturing himself with some boring television show.

“Hey,” he says, and you crawl into his lap with a sad sniffle. “Shh,” he soothes, hand on the back of your head as he guides you into his chest. You’re actually crying now, which is super embarrassing in itself considering you scolded Namjoon for this exact behavior last night. He doesn’t mention it as he pats your back, stupid sitcom paused in favor of soothing you with the deep vibrations of his voice. “Hye’s gonna be back tomorrow, baby.”

“I want her back now,” you huff, vaguely aware of how childish and silly you sound. The tables have turned, and you find yourself wishing you had the same emotional fortitude as Namjoon now. All those parenting books have clearly amounted for something. Somehow, you will the feeling back into your body and pull away from his chest. You must look a mess because he doesn’t even try to hide the amusement on his face. “This is the worst day of my life.”

Namjoon laughs, deep and hearty, with his eyes squeezing shut from the force. “Come on, wifey, those chicken nuggets aren’t gonna eat themselves.”

It’s quite possibly the most boring evening you’ve had in years.

(The internet calls it new parent syndrome, where you’re so undeniably in love with your first child and the parenting experience that the rest of the world is put on pause.)

You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)

Kids are prone to asking weirdly philosophical questions, a fact that had greatly delighted you when Hyejoo first started speaking. Who am I? What’s money? Why not? It could get annoying sometimes, trying to answer all of Hyejoo’s curiosities. But as you begin on your second batch of dinosaur chicken nuggets, all you can think about is how Jimin gets to answer them tonight.

Anyway, seven rolls around and you and Namjoon are bored. You can only watch so many episodes of Seinfield before you get tired of feigning interest, so you retire from the living room for the night. “I’m gonna take a bath,” you tell him, but he’s as brain dead as you by now.

A second later, “lemme join.”

It’s been a while since the two of you have squeezed into the bathtub together, usually assigning each other days to individually join Hyejoo. So it’s really not either of your faults when you realize a second too late how small the space is. One on each end, feet bumping into each other with every movement, it’s like trying to squeeze two feet into one shoe. You try to readjust yourself, but the bath flooring is slippery and you nearly take away Namjoon’s procreative abilities with a mighty kick.

To make a long story short, you end up pressed against his chest, Namjoon’s thick thighs framing you as you relax into the steaming water. Instinctively, he reaches for Hyejoo’s bottle of baby shampoo that sits on the tub’s ledge and only catches himself just as the first droplet is meeting his palm. “Oh, fuck,” he sighs, quickly closing the lid before he can waste any more precious product. “Shit, I’m so sad.”

You snort, sinking farther back into his chest. He’s warm and soft in all the right ways, the hot water making him slippery. “What did we even do before Hyejoo?” you ask, reaching into the deepest crevices of your mind for answers. Namjoon’s hand comes around, fingers sprawled out over your knee, the one you have propped up and breaking the water’s surface

He makes a rather vague sound, something like I don’t know, as he lolls forward, forehead on your shoulder. “Go on dates,” he responds eventually. “Fuck like crazy.”

You roll your eyes. “Besides that,” you chide, pinching the back of his palm. “Don’t we have any hobbies? Any interests?” He doesn’t answer, which is all the answer you need. Why didn’t you get into puzzle solving back when it was a trend? “Is this what our life has become? Crying in a bathtub at seven pm because our emotional support child isn’t here?”

“Our only child,” he corrects. Namjoon tries to placate your looming existential crisis with a kiss to your shoulder, lips against wet skin, that he trails up to your neck. “And what’s wrong with going on dates and fucking?” he murmurs, hands around your stomach. “That’s how we got here,” he teases, and you’re not sure if it’s the warm water or the way his voice is like melted chocolate dripping down your body, but you become all too aware of his presence at that moment. Particularly, of the plush lips mindlessly kissing your shoulder, the wet smack of their motions.

Another kiss, this time right below your ear. It has your head rolling to the side, exposing more skin for him to kiss up on. There’s still that overwhelming cloud of worry in the back of your mind, but it’s gradually nudged away by Namjoon’s warm hands on your skin. Sensing your weakening resolve, Namjoon strikes again. A hand slips down over your stomach, brushes over your belly button and finds itself between your thighs. “You used to love date nights, baby,” he says, the pad of his pointer finger grazing your clit.

It’s been so long since you and Namjoon have been alone like this, months since you’ve been able to touch him beyond a simple make out session, a halfhearted grope beneath the sheets. Your daughter, as much as you loved her, made intimacy impossible for the two of you. She was always around, always looking for one or the both of you, so there was never time to even think about getting frisky.

Only now, with his finger circling your clit, do you realize the blessing in disguise that was your daughter’s first slumber party away from home.

His finger nudges your clit, flicks it teasingly. “Why don’t you let me take care of you, hm?” he hums, the hand that had been soothingly stroking the inside of your thigh coming up to rub at your breasts.

“Yes, please,” you whine. Resting your head on his shoulder leaves Namjoon with a clear view down your front, lips kissing and sucking along your neck. His huge hand palms your breast, massaging the sensitive skin. You hadn’t realized how sore you’d been until now, his nimble fingers pressing deliciously into the skin. If your nipples weren’t already hard before, they certainly were now.

He traps one pearled nipple between two fingers, the sudden pinch making you hiss. “Easy, now,” he chuckles, his low tenor paired with his wandering hands making your eyes roll back.

Namjoon liked to use a higher tone around the house. He read somewhere that children prefer lighter, sweeter tones, so the last few years have been spent listening to him lighten the tone of his voice for the sake of your daughter. The deeper, growlier voice that had first made you fall in love with him became a rarity in your household, reserved for quiet nights in the living room or long drives where Hyejoo was asleep in the backseat. Only then does he unleash the gravelly qualities of his voice.

Then, and apparently, now.

His doll-like lips press against your jaw, suck lightly enough to make your body tingle. “Do you remember how it was the first time?” he says suddenly, his hot breath against your neck.

Namjoon’s got your clit trapped between two wandering fingers, has your pussy twitching with the vibrations of his voice alone. And for some reason, he’s trying to reminisce about your first time sleeping together.

“N- Not really,” you confess, subtly reaching down. You cover his palm with yours, hoping your touch will encourage him to carry on with his actions. It doesn’t. It just leaves both your hands hovering over your pussy, your thighs instinctively closing in on them to keep him there. Namjoon responds to that, releasing the breast he had been gently massaging in order to pry your legs apart. He does it so easily, despite the way your legs feel tight as hell, and the fact makes you whimper.

Once he’s got his hands back between your thighs— this time, he uses one hand to carefully part your quivering lips, the other one gingerly pressing down against your clit to draw the most heavenly sensations out of you —Namjoon feels the need to dive into a recap of your first fuck. “You were so cute,” he laughs, and you don’t know if you should take offense. Well, considering you're married and have a kid now, it’s probably too late to say anything anyway. His hand suddenly switches gears, three fingers joining together to begin caressing them over your throbbing clit. “Kept talking to me so politely, even when you were creaming my cock.”

You scoff, but it gets cancelled out by the moan he draws out of you. “D- Didn’t know you that well,” you remind him, your thighs twitching. You desperately want to buck forward into his giving hands, want to feel the true power of those long, pretty fingers on your cunt.

Behind you, Namjoon’s cock grows thick, his breathing a slow and steady pace by your ear. You can already imagine how heavy he is, the vein that runs along the underside and throbs with each new bit of stimulus he receives. Normally you would reach back and try to offer him the same helping hand he gives you, but your thighs feel wobbly already. Your libido has been dormant for so long that even just the barest flick of his thumb has you dissolving into his arms like this is your first time.

It’s as if Namjoon’s sensing your inner battle, a muffled laugh against the side of your neck. “This is about you,” he reminds you. As much as you want to protest, a sudden hard rub against your quivering lips has you gasping for breath. “Give me a kiss,” he commands softly, nudging his nose against the side of your face. It takes a second for you to ground yourself, draw yourself away from your building pleasure, to turn toward his waiting lips.

Namjoon kisses you slowly, like he’s taking his time with you. For the first time in a long time, he truly can. He doesn’t have to worry about a certain someone waking up in the middle of the night or walking in or anything along those lines, lips molding against yours. Plush as always, the faint taste of dinosaur chicken nuggets clinging to his lips. It makes you laugh a little, drawing away with an airy giggle. Namjoon smiles at your reaction, murmuring a soft, “what is it?”

You shake your head, eyes fluttering shut as he continues his circular motions against your clit. “Nothing,” you pant, finally getting in your first thrust against his fingers. “I just really need you,” you say instead, pushing his hand harder down against you.

You’re feeling a little antsy, having been deprived of this sensation for so long. Namjoon knows this, which is why he very purposely slows down. “There’s no rush,” he smirks, placing a kiss against your chin. “How do you want it, baby?”

The inside of your brain is a scrambled mess, filled with fantasies and ideas that have been plaguing you for months. There’s so much you want to do, want to try, but it’s like your brain completely blanks out when he asks. It’s just as you’re beginning to formulate a thought that you’re interrupted by the sound of your ringtone in the other room. Your husband’s arms tighten around you. “Don’t go,” he says quietly, the tip of his nose running along your neck. It’s so tempting to stay here, to let yourself go in his arms and chase the pleasure you’ve been craving for so long.

But the endless possibilities of who exactly could be calling wins over. Was it work? Was it your parents? Jimin?

It is with a heavy sigh that you reach for Namjoon’s hand, slowly pushing him away from your cunt. “I’m sorry, honey,” you frown, standing up out of the tub. Your legs really do feel like jelly, and you nearly slip and crack your skull on the porcelain edge. Luckily, Namjoon is there to steady you with two secure hands on your waist. “I’ll make it quick,” you reassure him, dropping a kiss on his pouty lips as you fasten a towel around your body.

The phone is just starting up its final ring when you reach it. It’s Jimin, and you’re torn between being thankful that you’re getting word on Hyejoo and full blown panic from the fact Jimin is calling you while Hyejoo is in his care. The unease has you accepting the call without a second more to waste. “Hello?” you say, hand tightening on the front of your towel. Stray water droplets trace ticklish trails down the backs of your thighs.

“__?” comes Jimin’s sweet voice. It’s normally soothing, but right now it has every hair on your body standing on end. Before you can even respond, Jimin is jumping headfirst into a whirlwind of a conversation. “Sorry for calling so late, but I just wanted to check in on you, babe. I know you were really panicked about Hye’s first night away from home, but don’t worry! Me and the missus are doing everything we can to make sure she’s fine.”

His confidence reassures you, lessens the weight that had been sitting on your chest all afternoon. But at the same time, you find yourself wanting to throttle him.

Your gorgeous, sexy hunk of a husband is sitting in the other room, cock at full mast and ready to pleasure you to the moon and back, and here you are listening to Jimin brag about how good of a caretaker he is. You were definitely going to make Jimin pay for this.

Deep breaths, you tell yourself, toying with a stray thread on your towel. “Really,” you drawl, and you can practically see Jimin’s ego swell over the line.

“Yup,” Jimin agrees, and by the sounds of it, doesn’t seem like he’s hoping to end this call anytime soon. You want to shoulder part of the blame; you had been extra sad and mopey when you dropped your daughter off. On top of being a good dad, Jimin was also a good friend. It was only naturally he wanted to reassure you when he could.

Still, the memory of Namjoon’s wet chest was calling out to you.

“The girls are playing princess in the living room with the missus right now,” Jimin chats on. “New dresses and everything— the Yerin Birthday Special —and they asked me to be their handsome prince!” You sincerely cannot wait for the day you get to introduce Jimin to your right fist.

“That’s great,” you offer, not that he’s really listening. He’s too busy talking about Yerin (and making sure to include Hyejoo in for your sake) and how amazing it is to watch your kids grow up before your very eyes. And while you agree with the sentiment, you really wish he had called you and told you this earlier, when you were at the peak of your motherly meltdown. Not now with Namjoon waiting for you in the bathtub. Was the water even warm anymore?

The mind blowing orgasm practically slips from your fingertips the longer Jimin talks. “Anyway! Enough about them. I’m thinking of trying out that blueberry bread recipe that aired on TV last night. You know, the one they had that actress make.”

You’ve just about resigned yourself to listening to Jimin talk about his love for pastries for the next thirty minutes when something brushes up behind you. “What the fu—“

He’s so tall and broad, practically covers your entire frame when he stands so close. And his smile is so pretty when he aims it your way. “Sh,” Namjoon murmurs, gesturing towards your phone.

“__?” Jimin calls. “Everything alright?”

Namjoon nods eagerly, the hands on your waist properly positioning you in front of him. It’s with a shudder running down your spine that you respond. “I’m fine,” you tell Jimin, letting go of the front of your towel when Namjoon abruptly pushes you over. The white comforter infused with both of your scents comes all too close, your elbow barely managing to reach out in time to catch you.

Wide eyed, you turn to throw Namjoon a scandalized look over your shoulder. He meets you with a close-mouthed smile, the dimples in his cheeks making themselves known. His chest is drier now, the smooth planes covered in a thin dewy glow and a spattering of droplets he missed. There’s a towel around his waist that’s barely doing its job, especially when you catch sight of the erection tenting beneath it.

“As I was saying,” Jimin rambles on. Namjoon nods towards the device, refusing to move again until you finally turn back around to finish your conversation with Jimin. “That actress fucked it up so bad. They really give anyone with a pretty face screen time these days, huh? At least I know how to properly preheat an oven.”

You nod. “You do make the best cookies in town,” you respond, a ball of anticipation building in your throat from the mere fact Namjoon is standing behind you.

It’s completely warranted once you feel two cold fingers trail up the back of your thigh, your towel gradually pushed up to drape around your waist. The air in your room is a little chilly, and the goosebumps that raise on your skin are partly due to that, as well as the ghostlike touch of Namjoon’s fingers. “Pretty,” he murmurs, so deep and gravelly it has you shuddering.

Two fingers dance along your skin, and you subconsciously jolt away when they meet the tender skin around your pussy. By your ear, Jimin says, “if I completely fuck it up, we’ll just pretend this conversation never happened. Deal?”

Using your own body against you, Namjoon lets one finger dip just the smallest bit into your quivering hole. You clench up, thighs trembling when he eventually pulls it back out and traces your own wetness over your folds. “Perfect,” you bite out, clutching at the sheets beneath you as Namjoon reaches for your forgotten clit. It’s still so sensitive from your little fun in the bath, and it takes every ounce of strength in you to hold back the whiny gasp in your throat.

Behind you, Namjoon suddenly presses in close. One hand on your hip, he gently encourages you onto the bed. Your knees sink into the mattress, one less strain on your legs. “Good girl,” he praises quietly, rewarding your behavior with a finger sinking into your cunt.

“Joo—“ you almost slip, burying your face into the sheets just in time.

A devastatingly slow pace, his finger just barely moving in and out of you. The bulk of your pleasure is coming from that bundle of nerves towards your front, but the teasing gesture isn’t appreciated anyway. When he leans over you, breath against your neck, you feel the length of his cock against your thigh. “He’s asking you a question,” Namjoon whispers, “answer him, baby.”

You nod, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he presses himself closer. Jimin hasn’t even noticed your lack of participation, mindlessly humming a song. The sounds of a running sink highlight his vocals. “Oh, absolutely,” you babble. “I wouldn’t tell a soul.”

“Ha!” Jimin scoffs. “I knew I could always count on you, Miss __,” he snarks playfully.

The hand toying with your clit comes around your waist, fingers stroking against your folds from this new angle. A silent moan has you writhing forward, unconsciously away from him as Jimin babbles on the other end of the line. He’s none the wiser to the lewd acts happening on the line, listening to the sound of his own voice. Namjoon lands a mean little bite against your shoulder, plunging his finger deeper inside of your clenching hole.

Paired with his teasing fingers, it’s nearly impossible to withhold your moans, biting your lip until it stings. “Fuck, fuck,” you whimper against the sheets, holding your phone as far away as possible from your mouth as a litany of curse words spill from your lips. Namjoon chuckles at your dramatics, not like he has his fingers deep inside of you right now or anything.

“So cute,” he hums, removing his hand from your clit to snatch your towel away. It gives way too easily, messily thrown over the edge of the bed. With your back completely exposed now, Namjoon wastes no time trailing a line of kisses up your spine, finishing off with an especially wet and hard one behind your ear. “Hang up now.”

His permission sets your body on edge, drawing your phone close again. Jimin is talking about dinner or something, you don’t even know. Not an ounce of remorse fills you when you clear your throat and hurriedly announce, “I have to—“ Namjoon’s cock, finally uncovered by his towel, presses against your folds and you nearly lose it. “—I have to go now, Jimin,” you say, leveling your breathing as best as you can.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Jimin says, thrown off by your sudden departure.

The mushroom tip of his cock kisses your clit. “Fuck— I really have to go.” And you hang up, chucking the phone off to the side hastily. With your hands both freed, you scramble onto your back, meeting the amused gaze of your husband behind you. “Fuck me, now.”

Namjoon laughs, reaching for the towel barely clinging onto his waist. One suave swoop later and it joins yours on the floor. “You did good,” he praises, lowering himself between your spread thighs. You roll your eyes, grabby hands reaching for his hips until he’s sitting snugly against you, cock resting over your throbbing cunt.

“Yeah, yeah,” you snap, the tight feeling in your tummy growing with every second that passes. Namjoon isn’t as unaffected as he pretends to be, a pearly bead of cum appearing at the tip of his engorged cock. “Just fuck me now.”

He raises a brow. “Missionary?” As if it’s the first time.

“Is there something wrong with it?” you ask anyway, self-consciously reaching an arm over yourself to cover your naked breasts. They’ve pebbled over just from his stare alone.

Namjoon hesitates, the hand on your hip drawing slow circles with his thumb. Eventually, he responds with a halfhearted shrug. “It’s not the best.” This is news to you, and you find yourself sitting up at the sudden bomb he’s dropped.

He’s still hard as rock between you, his dick laying almost artfully against your slit. You really just want to throw aside all reservations and begin grinding against him, penetration be damned, but now Namjoon’s got that thoughtful quirk to his lips. The one that usually accompanies any big brained idea, so you settle down, nudging him with your thigh until he’s looking at you again. “Penny for your thoughts?” What you really want to say is please fuck me like I’m just another cum rag of yours and make it hurt, but alas.

Namjoon sits back on his haunches. “I read somewhere that on your hands and knees is the best way to get pregnant.” You choke on your own tongue, face ablaze from his forward statement. Meanwhile, Namjoon is looking as relaxed as ever.

You hadn’t really discussed children after Hyejoo. The wordless agreement had been that sure, you were both down for another kid sometime in the future. But the exact date had sort of been murky. Hyejoo is three now, and you heard from another mom that it’s difficult for children with wide age gaps to get along. You don’t want her growing up being far removed from another sibling.

But also, now?

It’s like Namjoon knows your thoughts before you even do. “Alright, wifey, say no more,” he says, leaning down to place a kiss against your lips. “I’ll get the condom, alright?”

And then he’s stepping off the bed, every muscle of his toned body flexing as he swaggers over towards the dresser. He’s a walking dream, the physical embodiment of all your crazy sex fantasies, and he wants to fuck a baby into you. Your pussy says yes, but your rationality is still on the fence.

You roll onto your side, head propped into your open palm. “You want another baby?” you ask tentatively. Namjoon shrugs, carefully opening the new box of condoms you had bought half a year ago.

“It wouldn’t hurt to have another kid,” he answers, procuring a tiny foil packet from the box and returning to his spot between your legs. It’s like staring at a marble statue from this angle, the defined planes of his chest and abdomen, the gorgeous slope of his nose, the sharp angles of his face. You really lucked out.

Your decision comes just as he’s easing the rubber over the tip of his cock, the swollen head just barely enveloped. You place a hand against his wrist, earning his attention. “Take it off,” you mumble, and you swear on your entire life he swells another inch.

“Oh, baby,” he groans, hastily throwing the condom somewhere across the room. He rolls over you, bulging arms sweeping you up into his embrace, lips capturing yours in a sloppy kiss. You whimper, letting his tongue push itself past your lips. When he pulls away, it’s with a wet pop and glistening lips. They’re so puffy now, flushed a nice rosy color, that makes him look even more handsome when he smiles down at you. “Gonna look so pretty all pregnant,” he beams, placing a chaste kiss against you one last time before he’s hurriedly rolling you onto your stomach.

You hide your bashful expression against the sheets, suddenly feeling very shy before him. But then Namjoon’s cock is running along your lips and you’re left a shivering mess. “Please just fuck me,” you beg hoarsely, and Namjoon obeys.

“Whatever you want, wifey,” he teases, and before you can call him out for his cheesiness, he’s pressing his thumb into your aching hole once more. “Is this okay?” he asks, somberly for the first time in what seems like forever.

“I’m okay,” you confess, a little shyly now that you know his true motives.

Namjoon chuckles, quickly removing his finger from inside of you to give your ass one soothing pat. “Going in,” he warns you, and finally, you’re rewarded for all your struggles. It’s only as his mushroom head squeezes in that you realize you could have done with a bit more stretching, but that thought fades away the more and more he pushes in. “Fuck,” he groans, the low intonation of his voice making your toes curl.

If it’s not his voice, it’s the sheer length of his cock inside of you. The girth makes your spine tingle, has you muffling a pitiful whimper into the comforter beneath you. “Relax for me,” he directs, and then suddenly he’s placing a palm against your back, pushing you further down. “Hips up.”

You groan. The normally soft fabric of the blanket feels like hell on your sensitive breasts. “I’m trying,” you whine, pushing back onto him in an effort to familiarize yourself with his cock again. It’s been so long since he’s been inside of you like this, since he’s filled you so well, that your body acts a little stupid now. He hasn’t even begun thrusting and you already feel like you’ll cum just from this.

The angle is different than your usual style, has him moving along every inch of you as he sinks in. Two big hands grab at your waist, manhandling you closer to him until you’re just like he wants you to be. “There we go,” he sighs, and with him motionless, you finally relax. It’s about a two second pause before he begins to draw himself back out. “How do you want it?” he grunts, but it’s lost beneath the moan that escapes you. It’s the same question he asked you in the tub, right before Jimin called, except this time you have an answer.

“Fast,” you gasp, the pain from the stretch finally, finally, melting away as your body grows accustomed to his presence inside of you. “Do it fast, please.”

Namjoon does as he’s told, waiting until he’s pulled out until the tip to satisfy your requests. And then he’s off.

Your body isn’t as young as it once was, left a little worn from the entire child-bearing process. Sometimes you wonder how exactly you and Namjoon would fuck until sunrise before, how your sex drive was so high that it allowed such a thing to happen. Admittedly, there’s currently a stiffness inside of you that has been there for a while now, and you barely remember how you got rid of it before. Apparently, this is how.

Namjoon’s hard cock rams into you once, makes you release the most embarrassingly loud moan at the sudden intrusion, and it’s like all those months of tension that built up in your body are melted away. His cock pushes past your folds, creating a lewd squelching sound that would otherwise leave you mortified to learn it came from your body. You shudder, desperately pushing your ass back against him in a feeble attempt to feel it again.

“Still so fucking tight for me,” he growls, snapping his hips forwards. His skin slaps against yours, leaves you feeling tender from the brutal movements of his body. But at the same time, it feels absolutely terrific.

Your lips are still coated in your own wetness, have him noisily moving in and out. “J- Joon,” you whimper softly, but you doubt he hears it over the sound of his own labored breathing. “More.”

He responds with a sudden piston inside of you that has the tip of his cock nearly kissing your cervix. “More?” he huffs, the hand on your back pressing down until you fear you’ll become one with the mattress. “You want more?” You nod hurriedly, somehow managing to stretch a hand down between you to toy with your clit. The brush of your own fingers has you bucking back onto him in surprise.

Wordlessly, he speeds up his pace, thrusting his hips into your velvety walls at a faster speed than before. It’s a weird sensation, a sort of ticklish feeling m that makes you tremble with each roll forward. You can’t say the two of you have done it in this position a lot, always preferring the more romantic missionary position to anything else, but this experience was quickly making you an avid believer of its validity as a top tier sex position.

You swirl your pointer finger around your clit, trying to sync up your shaky touch with his steady thrusts. It’s useless, because every time you feel like you’ve gotten into the same groove, Namjoon one ups you by hauling you back against him. “Oh, f- fuck,” you sob, clawing at the sheets beneath you.

Namjoon groans, momentarily pausing his rapid thrusts to roll his buried cock against you. “Come on, baby,” he husks, the hilt of his cock kissing your folds.

There’s a lot of built up sexual tension inside of you, months on top of months of nothingness. Not to mention that little scene in the bathtub just now. So you’re not really surprised that your orgasm rears its head so early, curling up tightly in your stomach the longer Namjoon fucks you. He’s back to thrusting now, shallow little movements that make you see stars every time his cock glides inside of you. “Joon, I'm gonna...” you rasp out pitifully, grinding back against him.

“Whenever you want,” he murmurs, leaning forward to press a kiss against your shoulder. It’s sweet, but on top of that, it has him pushing in further than before, finally pressed against that sensitive spot inside of you that makes your entire body lock up. You sob, thighs quivering when he reaches an arm around you. It’s almost romantic how your hands meet, his fingers covering yours as he guides them over your clit slowly. “Give it to me, baby,” he croons, lips pressed securely against your neck. He leaves soft kisses there, smooches really, that make you melt.

Another shallow buck of his hips forward and you’re cumming, breaths picking up until they accumulate into a choked wail against the sheets. “Fuck— oh, fuck,” you cry, your thighs spasming from the force of your first satisfying orgasm in months. Namjoon holds you through it, slowly thrusting inside of you until he’s drawn out your entire orgasm.

The new added pleasure makes his movements sound even wetter, dirtier even. “That’s it,” he purrs, pushing himself back up to his full height behind you. You feel absolutely boneless beneath him, laying limply against the mattress as Namjoon repositions your hips for himself. “Can I finish like this, sweetheart?” he asks anyway, thumbs drawing a soothing pattern along your hip.

You can barely catch your breath, so you settle on a halfhearted nod that has him huffing out a laugh.

For some reason, Namjoon fucks you harder once he knows you’ve had your fill. Like he’s trying to draw another orgasm out of you, but is also the least bit concerned with you. Honestly, it works. He moves fast and hard, like he has no regard for your pleasure, and for some reason that turns you on more than it should. It’s this weird fantasy of yours, to be mistreated by a man as respectful as Namjoon, and you find yourself weirdly fulfilling it now as he fucks his cock into you.

His fingers dig into your skin, wildly bucking into you as he chases his own high, and it’s embarrassing how quickly a second one builds up for you. You moan at one particular thrust, body sensitive all over. “Oh,” you whimper, “Namjoon.”

He grunts, your cries fueling him on as he continues his mad race to the end. “Gonna cum with me again?” he pants, his quick pace rocking you forward. You nod, using your killer grip on the sheets to ground yourself as you weakly attempt to meet his thrusts. “Aren’t you the sweetest,” he hums, and doesn’t let you respond as he continues to jackhammer his way into your pussy at a bruising pace.

It takes a few more thrusts, and one whiny cry of his name— “come on, Joonie,” you whimper, turning to throw him a teary-eyed gaze over your shoulder; he shudders at the sight —until Namjoon is finally tipped over the edge, shooting his pleasure deep into you on the next thrust. It’s warm, paints your walls and threatens to spill out when he finally pulls out.

But Namjoon has read up, using those big strong arms of his to keep you from collapsing onto your tummy as he scrambles around for something to keep your hips up. “It sticks better this way,” he says, a sheen of sweat against his temples when he flops down beside you.

“What sticks better,” you groan, the achy feeling of just having your world rocked quickly settling into your bones.

Namjoon leans forward and places a kiss against your lips, as if saying here, for all your hard work. “You know... it,” he shrugs, hands behind his head as he prepares himself to supervise your post-sex nap, just to make sure you don’t accidentally move around and let his cum leak out. “You did good, wifey,” he praises with another smooch. “Maybe we should let Hyejoo sleep over at Jimin’s more.”

Hyejoo’s return is the highlight of the year.

You pick her up around noon, and your heart nearly grows ten sizes when you see her come running down Jimin’s front steps and into your arms. “Hi, mommy,” she beams, the same smile as Namjoon. And just like Namjoon, you can’t stop yourself from covering her face in tiny kisses. She says they tickle and squirms and squeals in your embrace.

Jimin’s at the door with this weirdly blank look on his face. “Hey, Jimin,” you call out, helping Hyejoo load her bag into the backseat.

“Hey…” he greets, just as Hyejoo frantically begins calling for you to buckle her in. “Um, __,” Jimin says, but you’re a little busy securing the tiny love of your life into her booster seat, so you just throw him a quick glance to let him know you’re listening. Kinda. “There’s something I have to tell you—“

“I wanna see daddy!” Hyejoo babbles from the backseat, wildly waving her hands around as you finally close the door on her. With it shut, her loud voice is drowned out and you’re left raising a brow at Jimin as you round the front of the car.

“What’s up?” you ask.

Jimin comes down the steps, awkwardly hovering by the front of your car. “Um, when we were on the phone—“ Hyejoo knocks her tiny hands against the window, gesturing for you to hurry up. You flash Jimin an apologetic frown at the interruption. “Well, you see. She kinda heard us— well, me—”

Another flurry of knocks, and you can’t wait to relay to Namjoon how excited your daughter had been to see him again. It’ll boost his ego, not that he really needs it to be any bigger. “That’s fine,” you tell Jimin, swinging your door open. Immediately, Hyejoo’s high-pitched voice fills the space between you and Jimin. “You know I don’t mind talking to the missus,” you joke, nudging his side. “She’s my friend too, ya know.”

“Gotta show daddy something!” Hyejoo shouts from the backseat, has this big smile on her face that makes you smile as well.

Beside you, Jimin is quickly falling apart. “No, well—” you drop down into your seat “it wasn’t her who heard—“ You shut the door, lowering the window to thank Jimin one more time. Hyejoo beats you to it.

“Bye, Mr. Jimin!” she says, tiny legs kicking around all wildly in her excitement. You shake your head with a grin, waving goodbye to Jimin one last time as you pull out of his driveway.

“Daddy!” Hyejoo shrieks upon entering your home. Her tiny overnight bag is tossed down at the entryway, ladybug rain boots haphazardly kicked towards the general direction of the shoe closet. Namjoon had been upstairs in his study when you left, but he now comes bounding down the steps at the sound of your daughter’s voice. He cries out a dopey, “princess”, as he scoops her up in his big arms. He does a twirl and everything, so dramatic. But it makes Hyejoo giggle like crazy.

She allows one big fat kiss against her chubby cheeks before she’s shushing him with the news of her announcement. “Daddy, look,” she beams, holding his face between her tiny hands. “I can say the f sound now!”

Namjoon has been avidly working towards this ability for months now. Namjoon, who has spent nights reading every page of every child development book possible, who has spent hours decorating pretty flashcards for her, who has sectioned off time from his busy schedule everyday just to go over lessons with her. Well, Namjoon looks over the goddamn moon at the news.

“Let’s hear it, honey,” you urge, stepping in when his happiness renders him incapable of speech. So he just nods along, looks like a bobblehead doll beside you.

And with both of her proud, sometimes overprotective, parents standing before her, Hyejoo puts on a big grin and says, “fuck.”

#bangtanhq #networkbangtan #namjoon smut #kim namjoon smut #namjoon fic #kim namjoon fic #knj fic #bts fic #bts smut #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x reader smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader smut #mine

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charlie-minion · 3 years

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Could the same SPN finale make a little more sense with some additions/changes?

I’ve had the idea for this post stuck in my head for days now, but with every new conspiracy theory and every new eventuality in the fandom, it became difficult to cool down enough to write something less ship-related and more narrative-focused.

What Supernatural and non-SPN fans have to understand is that a lot of us have expressed disappointment and frustration after 15x20, not because of Destiel (that’s just one part of the whole problem), but because the finale doesn’t make sense. Everything was leading up to something beautifully crafted until the end of 15x19. Beyond that, it’s hard to understand what happened. The story rendered all the character growth irrelevant, invalidated the themes of free will and “family don’t end in blood”, regressed to the original brother codependency they spent 15 years trying to overcome, made a queer non-binary character in a male vessel and a deaf female character basically disposable, and kept the show’s reputation of queerbaiting and misogyny until its very last breath.

That’s not going out with a bang! At least not a positive one. We all were ready to mourn Supernatural, but we wanted to feel proud of its legacy, and somehow TPTB managed to tarnish that legacy in less than 45 minutes. What a way to ruin the other more than 13,600 minutes of story!

It doesn’t matter who is to blame (The CW, Robert Singer, Andrew Dabb). It doesn’t matter why it happened (homophobia, censorship, marketing for Walker, bad writing). What matters is that at the end of the day, the finale that aired is what we got and that’s going to hurt for a long time. It hurts even more when we realize that the same finale could have easily made more sense, even without being perfect.

That’s what I want to do in this post. I want to show you how things would have been less jarring (for the fandom), while still keeping the goal to please the general audience.

Before I begin rewriting 15x20, I have to mention that I talked to my conservative boomer sister about the finale. She hasn’t watched the second half of season 15 yet (she’s waiting for Netflix to have it), but she’s been watching the show for a long time (she introduced me to it 8 years ago). She’s the perfect example of a viewer from the general audience. Loves the show but doesn’t give a second thought to it and definitely isn’t paying attention to character development or themes. Doesn’t engage with fandom, actors, or any of the show’s social media. Pure GA! When I told her the series finale had aired, she asked me about it and I refused to give her spoilers. Because of that, she told me the ending SHE wanted. She said she would be happy with either of two possibilities: the boys retiring and finally living a normal life OR they going to heaven and finding peace at last. She saw Sam and Dean as a unit, which means: both retiring or both going to heaven. AND she saw Cas as part of that, too. She wasn’t so sure about Jack. And for her, we could use the “Eileen who?” and it wouldn’t be a joke. She didn’t remember her.

NOW IT’S TIME TO WRITE A NEW VERSION OF 15X20 (KEEPING 15X18 AND 15X19 EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY AIRED). This will be a very long post:

The opening remains almost the same. No “Carry on my wayward son” to induce feels. Too soon and too predictable! (Reasoning: Everyone was expecting it to play right there, so it would bring more tears at the end)

In the opening, after the scene where Jack says “People won’t need to pray to me or sacrifice to me”, we also see the scene from 15x19 where he says “I won’t be hands on”. Then we see the rest of the opening as it was. (Reasoning: People needed to be reminded that Jack would NOT intervene and that’s why later on, he would NOT save Dean).

We get the same montage, but when Sam takes a break from his morning run, we see him reading a message on his phone. A simple: “Hey Sam, what’s new?” from Eileen. Sam smiles fondly and begins to type a response we don’t get to see. The next scene continues the same, Sam making breakfast. (Reasoning: A text was a very simple way to show that Eileen was alive and still in communication with Sam).

The montage slowly ends as Sam enters the library (not after he sits down). He seems to be talking on the phone but we only hear an “I’ll tell him. Bye”. As he walks towards the table, he tells Dean: “Charlie says hi. Mentioned something about Stevie’s perfect scrambled eggs we have to try.” Dean’s answer is “Awesome!” (Reasoning: Just ONE line was needed to unbury Charlie and her girlfriend. ONE LINE).

Sam sits down, opens his laptop and everything continues the same. The title card shows for the last time.

YOU SEE? In the first 4 minutes they could have acknowledged that THREE WOMEN were alive and safe: Eileen, Charlie and Stevie. It wasn’t hard! Don’t blame bad writing on Covid! Now let’s continue.

Sam and Dean arrive at the Pie Fest just the same. Dean goes to get some “damn pie” and Sam takes out his phone. He dials and when someone picks up, he says “Hey, Jody, how are ya?” We don’t hear the rest of the conversation. The scene moves to Dean coming with his 6 portions of pie. Dean sits down and Sam tells him, “Talked to Jody. The other hunters haven’t had much work lately.” “That’s good, isn’t it?”, Dean says. All we get from Sam is “Yeah.” So, Dean looks at him and asks “what’s wrong?” like it happened in the episode. (Reasoning: Again, a couple of lines to make sure the people that were killed in 15x18 are safe and remembered by the boys in 15x20. Why is this important? Because they’re family!)

The conversation about Sam’s sad face happens the same. Sam is the one that mentions Cas and Jack. (Reasoning: Because this episode was so Sam-centered, it’s obvious he was the protagonist in the finale. If we see him communicating with Eileen, Charlie, and Jody, then it’s NORMAL, even expected of him to be the one to bring up Cas and Jack). Without these additions, it’s harder for people to understand that most of the finale was NOT from Dean’s POV but from Sam’s.

Dean’s “if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing” stays the same. (Reasoning: I believe it’s necessary that the show sticks to the importance of “letting go” and “what is dead should stay dead” for the first time ever because the message is “even when you lose someone you love, you can still find some form of happiness and keep living, for you and for them, because that’s what they would have wanted”. Bringing someone back means “I can’t live without you”, and that’s just more codependency. It’s how the demon deals began in the Winchester family –Mary being the first one to do it. This would explain why Dean didn’t ask Jack to bring Cas back, as he asked Chuck. He understood Jack was NOT going to interfere anymore and accepted it. Besides, when Cas saved Dean from hell, Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. This time that Cas saved him, Dean finally feels worthy enough to accept that YES, HE DESERVED TO BE SAVED ALL ALONG, just as much as he deserved to be loved by that angel of the Lord. In this scene, Dean also says that the pain is not gonna go away, which means that from HIS PERPECTIVE, it still hurts that Cas is not there. The problem is that the finale is not showing his POV but Sam’s.

Sam pies Dean on the face just the same. (Reasoning: That part was just to avoid ending the scene on a sad note).

Everything related to the case happens exactly the same. (Reasoning: At this point, people don’t really care about the MoTW, they care about Sam and Dean).

NOTE 1: The case is important to show that even when the Winchesters are finally free of Chuck’s influence, they CHOOSE to keep hunting. It isn’t something they do out of revenge or because it is their destiny anymore. Maybe they were forced into the life at first, but they’ve learned to find joy in saving people. Being hunters is who they are. However, the fact that a job application was shown on Dean’s desk is also important because it means he was willing to explore what else was there for him besides hunting. Maybe he could find a balance? Maybe he was thinking it was time to quit? We will never know! The thing is that Sam only finds out about it when he goes into Dean’s room after his brother is dead, so maybe that’s when it hits him that Dean wanted to explore his options, and Sam starts to think it’s time for him to do the same.

NOTE 2: I believe the masks the vampires are wearing is something we can blame on covid. If they had their faces covered, it was easier to use people from the SPN crew for some scenes, instead of using more actors unnecessarily.

NOTE 3: When Sam and Dean arrive at the barn, we get 3 visuals to remember Cas in the same scene (those are for the fandom, not for the general audience): a) the barn, obviously; b) the bag that resembles Cas’ trenchcoat so much that many people thought that’s what it was; and c) two feathers hanging on Dean’s right when he opens the trunk.

The scene with the throwing star happens the same. (Reasoning: The episode is still told from Sam’s point of view, so it makes sense that he fondly sees his brother as a man child).

Jenny the vampire? Uhhh… I mean, it’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst, so okay. That stays the same. (Reasoning: There is none, but she’s not what really ruined the finale, so whatever!)

Dean still dies impaled on a rebar. (Reasoning: OK. HERE ME OUT!!! I hate as much as everyone else that Dean is killed. I think it’s lazy writing, but that’s what we got and I can’t change that in this re-write, so if killing Dean is what we have to work around, then, memes aside, death by rebar is better and here’s why. There’s no one to blame for Dean’s death: no Chuck (the boys were willingly hunting even after Chuck was defeated), no vampires (they were all killed and were no real threat, so it was impossible for Sam to begin a quest for revenge against all vampires. What was Sam going to blame? A rebar? Can you kill it? Hunt it? NO. It was an ordinary death, a stupid accident. Just like any person can die at any moment by slipping on a banana peel. Is it a good death? No, but it’s good to know he doesn’t die trying to save Sam or Cas, because Dean Winchester is NOT willing to give up his life in exchange for anyone else’s anymore.

Sam takes out his phone and says he’ll call for help, but his phone is more visible to the audience. He dials and it’s almost to his ear when Dean stops him and Sam hesitantly hangs up. (Reasoning: People have complained that Sam didn’t call an ambulance, but actually he tried to. It’s just that people missed that part, maybe?)

After Sam puts his phone back in his pocket and says “OK” to Dean, he adds, “I’ll pray to Jack”. Dean’s immediate answer is: “No hands on, remember?” “But Dean”, Sam says, and Dean interrupts him with “OK listen to me” and tells Sam what to do with the kids they rescued. (Reasoning: Jack is God now and how come Sam didn’t remember? The viewers remembered, so it was necessary to include a line that ruled the option out and that showed Dean didn’t want Jack to intervene. The rest was fine).

The lines “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right?” disappear completely from Dean’s monologue. (Reasoning: This is the most problematic part of Dean’s dying speech. He fought God and earned free will, he is no longer controlled by fate or destiny. Accepting that he is supposed to die on a hunt regresses his character development and denies his desire to keep living. This was a total mistake and should be removed).

Instead, if going to heaven is the ending TPTB wanted to give Dean, at least he should say something more empowering. Sam tells him that both of them are going to take the kids somewhere safe. Dean answers and the scene follows like this: “No. Sammy, we made our choice, didn’t we?”, he smiles with difficulty. “We were free to write our own story and we did. We decided to keep saving people, hunting things. Because it’s what we love despite the risks.” (Reasoning: If Dean’s going to die it doesn’t have to feel like it was always meant to be that way. He should die knowing that he exerted his free will until his last breath).

The rest of the dialogue between Sam and Dean happens almost the same. Except that instead of Dean saying “‘cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me”, he says “’cause when it all came down to it, we’ve always had each other’s backs. Always.” And instead of Sam saying “Don’t leave me”, he says “I still can try to save you.” (Reasoning: It sounds way less codependent without diminishing the importance of their love and support for each other).

Besides, let’s change Dean’s “I’m not leaving you” for “You don’t have to be alone. You’ve still got family.” The rest stays the same word by word. (Reasoning: Dean reminds Sam that “family don’t end in blood” and there are still lots of people out there who love Sam and will be with him).

“I love you so much, my baby brother” stays exactly the same. (Reasoning: Dean always had trouble to express the big L word. I always believed and said many times that before Dean could say “I love you” to Cas or any other character, he had to say it to Sam. So, this is important as part of Dean speaking his truth).

The last part when Dean insists Sam tell him that it’s okay stays the same. (Reasoning: It’s the final moment when the codependency cycle breaks. No more running in circles).

The forehead touch between them stays the same. (Reasoning: I think I would do something similar if my sister were dying. I know there are w*ncest shippers out there, but it shouldn’t matter because the moment feels appropriate for that kind of goodbye).

See? There are changes but not too many. That’s why I’ve been saying that it was easier to get it right, yet they still managed to screw it up.

The second montage stays the same. (Reasoning: Life goes on, but of course Sam has to mourn).

The call about a case in Austin remains the same. (Reasoning: It’s the only part of the episode where someone from the found family is mentioned, so I think that Donna’s name is perfect in that moment. However, without the other additions I’ve made in this re-write, that off-hand mention feels too little. Its purpose was to tell the viewers that if Donna was alive, so were the others, but the way the episode was executed gave us an isolated Sam, incapable of having friends and a family without Dean).

After 30 minutes of Sam’s POV, let’s finally see the last bit of Dean’s POV that we’ll ever get.

Dean arrives in Heaven and Bobby receives him. All their conversation stays almost the same, except that after mentioning Rufus and before saying “and your mom and dad…”, Bobby adds an “Ellen and Jo let me borrow their place”. (Reasoning: If you’re gonna put the man outside the Harvelle’s place, at least mention them for Jack’s sake!).

Besides, after Bobby tells Dean that Sam will be along and that time in heaven is different, Dean gives a small smile and says, “Well, there’s no rush. I want him to have a long, happy life.” Bobby answers with: “I would expect nothing less from you, boy” and tells him he got everything he could ever want, etc., just like it happened in the episode, and finishes by asking “What are you gonna do now, Dean?” (Reasoning: It’s important we know for sure that Dean is NOT codependent anymore and that he doesn’t expect to have a miserable afterlife just because his brother is not there yet).

Instead of saying “I think I’ll go for a drive” Dean says, “I think I know what I want” and walks towards baby. Bobby still tells him to have fun. (Reasoning: “Know what I want” is ambiguous enough to help us introduce the last piece of the puzzle, the one thing Dean’s wanted for many seasons and has never been able to express).

The biggest change is coming:

Dean gets on the Impala and has a moment of silence while he contemplates the wheel. He begins to pray: “Hey, Cas, you got your ears on? I hear you’ve been busy working on this updated Heaven with Jack. You were right about him, Cas. You had faith in him and he saved us all. You could always see the best in everyone, even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Even when I couldn’t see it myself. There’s so much I want to tell you. Maybe you can visit sometime. I hope prayer’s still a thing up here.” (Reasoning: Dean’s side of the confession was unaddressed and that was terrible writing. If there was no way to get him to speak his truth textually, at least take him as close to it as possible).

We listen to a flutter of wings and a “Hello, Dean” from the back seat. We don’t see Cas, but the camera shows us Dean’s cocky smile and he says “Took you long enough.” He turns around slowly. End of scene. (Reasoning: The flutter of wings confirms that angels have their wings back and ties that loose end. The final “hello, Dean” was highly anticipated and it made sense. If Misha couldn’t be there to film, for whatever reason, or if the problem was the kind of conversation Dean and Cas would have, then don’t show it, but leave the door open. Let us know that the two characters were reunited and will talk, but whatever Dean has to say is so private that it’s not for us to hear, only for Cas.

We finally hear “Carry on my wayward son” and get a montage that begins with Sam playing with his kid. Then we see Dean driving, super happy, and Sam living his life to the fullest. We still get Sam’s Blurry Wife, BUT… we see pictures of Eileen in the living room (not just of John, Mary, Sam, and Dean). We also see photos of Jody, Donna, Charlie, and AU!Bobby. (Reasoning: FAMILY DON’T END IN BLOOD).

The scene where Sam is wearing the party wig and looks miserable inside the Impala is cut and nobody talks about it ever again because it never existed. We get a scene of Sam teaching his son how to fix the car instead. (Reasoning: First of all, don’t give Sam a life where years later he’s still in pain. Second of all, the fucking wig was a crime).

Sam’s dying scene stays the same. The only thing is that his son signs a couple of phrases to him before actually speaking. (Reasoning: More confirmation that Dean Jr. is Eileen’s son).

We hear the final “Evanescence-like Carry on my wayward son”. Again we see the photos and there’s family other than the Winchesters there. (Reasoning: Obvious at this point).

The rest is exactly the same. The show began with two brothers and it’s okay if the last scene is with the two brothers reunited in Heaven. At this point, the other parts of the story are acceptable enough for us to feel happy that they get to see each other again after years of a happy (after)life.

Now look me in the eye and tell me this was too hard to execute. I still think that bad writing is a thing we can’t deny here, adding to the possible meddling of the Network. Maybe Dabb wanted us to hate the finale because he couldn’t get away with what he truly wanted. If that was his intention, then kudos to him. He and The CW really gave us a finale that only 30% of the fandom liked.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this and it helps to give you some peace of mind. In my heart, this was the finale we got. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t drop the ball either.

#supernatural #15x20 #spn 15x20 #spn finale #rewrite #dean winchester #dean deserved better #cas deserved better #destiel #the characters deserved better #we deserved better #it was easier to get it right #yet they screwed up big time #alternate ending

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gralunaisland · 2 years

Note

one of the more disgusting defences I've seen pros use to excuse juvia's behaviour is when victims of assault speak out against the ship, they claim that victims need to stop 'projecting' onto juvia and that because mashima's intent with juvia's actions is meant to be for comedy it should be treated as such and nothing serious

A Piece About Stalking Victims and gr//via

Now that is just really sad, that people would go and try to invalidate actual victims of stalking and assault just so they can not feel bad for liking a ship that literally glorifies those very things.

So what if some manga author decided to take something that literally traumatizes people and ruins their real lives, and then used it in his manga for a comedy bit, and made all the characters praise the perpetrator and bash the victim, and then made the perpetrator and the victim end up in an exceedingly toxic relationship where the selfish, criminal perp finally gets what she wants?

Does it matter that the author's intent was that the actions were supposed to be seen as funny?

No! Because what he did was wrong, to try to normalize and promote such toxic, unhealthy, downright wicked behavior, to desensitize people to the point where they don't even see that her behavior is wrong and to the point where they laugh at it and to the point where they demonize the people who speak out against it.

Now, I will say this, carefully though—it's a difficult subject to articulate. I think it's ok for these people to use the "it's just comedy" reasoning to explain to themselves why it's ok to laugh if they know that the thing being portrayed as comedy would be very wrong in real life, because yes, in the end, I doubt that most supporters of juvia and her ship look at stalking and think it's just dandy (though some actually do), and I doubt Mashima really meant to make juvia's behavior in his manga as a statement piece expounding on the virtues of stalking and abusive behavior.

(That doesn't change the fact that he ends up doing so, which is undeniably wrong, but my point is that it's understandable if people see it and acknowledge it as wrong, and yet overlook it thanks to the "cute, comedic, and fluffy" setting of the manga and its art style and a "cute" girl doing it so they can enjoy it as a whole. I don't excuse the people who just don't see what juvia does is wrong though; they warrant criticism).

However.

Where they cross the line is when they try to use that honestly pretty faulty reasoning as an argument and weaponize it against victims who are triggered by juvia's disgusting behavior, which is basically worse than victim blaming because they are literally saying yes, you were a victim, and yet no, your experience doesn't matter. These are the people who don't acknowledge juvia's behavior as disgusting and evil.

I've sort of touched on this before, but I am chill with letting people like juvia and gr///via. I'm not out here on a quest to eradicate all Pro gr///vians and juvia fans, which is impossible anyway. They have the right to their opinion, and I have the right to mine. I don't understand them and could never agree with them, but for the most part, they're minding their own business, and I'm minding mine. That's why I block the gr///via and juvia tags and avoid their posts and tag mine correctly.

I may hate gr///via and juvia and the content made in support of it, but I don't hate the Pros; it's just a ship after all, and in the grand scheme of things, it's not the best hill to die on. I especially am fine with those Pros who acknowledge that juvia is far from perfect, and that the ship is too, and yet they just ignore certain things to enjoy it, and that's only fair.

The only people I have a problem with are the ones who are vocally putting Antis down by bashing us for merely existing or tearing down victims of abuse just so they can keep themselves in forced ignorance that juvia is perfect and anyone who opposes her sucks, people like the ones you mentioned, Anon.

(The rest of this post is related but not exactly on topic.)

Personally, thankfully, I haven't seen that defense used yet. I have no doubt people have though since you've seen it yourself, Anon. I'll mention a defense that's sort of similar though that's been directed against me.

There was a Pro in my comment section of this post for some reason (fun fact: I just went back to check what they said, and guess what? Every comment of theirs is deleted~ Wonder why~) who commented for hours, (that post had over 200 notes before they deleted all their comments) and accused me of "speaking for all stalking victims" when in that post and in no post before or after it did I ever claim to be doing that, nor did I ever claim that I knew a stalking victim before they even spoke.

(Tbh maybe they thought me reblogging a post by @autumnleavescoffeedreams, where they mention that they had a boyfriend who was the male version of juvia and how that terrible experience of him stalking them made them dislike gr///via, and me saying I loved that post and agreed with it completely was proving that I had a friend who was stalked?? Though we’re not even friends, I only reblogged their post. Idk anymore.)

Anyway, they basically said "How dare you try to speak for all stalking victims! You know nothing about it so shut up! I am a stalking victim though, and I say that juvia and gr///via doesn't bother me so there! That proves that juvia's behavior has no effects on stalking victims." The absolute hypocrisy and general idiocy of that statement still sticks with me this day. This was my response in the comments, and I stand by them:

"I never said I spoke for all victims of stalking. And don’t you dare invalidate my friend’s experience w stalking. And since when did you have to personally be stalked to be able to call it like you see it? Oh this person got r*ped in an anime, but nooo I can’t make a post calling it out or saying it’s bad because I haven’t been raped myself??? That’s completely baloney, and an argument I’ve seen used to no avail many a time."

"I respectfully don’t believe that your experience invalidates mine or any stalker victim’s experience. Just because your stalker didn’t seem so bad to you doesn’t mean that juvia’s behavior has not triggered others. Way to invalidate others just because you’ve been stalked, as if that makes you the end-all expert on the subject. I also DO have an idea of how horrible stalking is because I have a brain, a heart, and a moral compass. It’s obviously a terrible ordeal and stalkers—"

"—should be jailed, and juvia is no exception."

(I mentioned 'my friend' in my responses, not because I had in fact mentioned them before— I even checked all my posts to find what they were talking about and couldn't find it— but because I do have a Tumblr friend/acquaintance that's been stalked and traumatized. I assumed falsely at the time that this random person knew about them somehow, but in reality, they had no way of knowing that.)

Yes, I sound quite heated in my response to that commentor, but I was quite angry at these awful accusations and ridiculous arguments. I would never invalidate this person's experience as a stalking victim, but the fact that they tried to use it as a weapon to put me down for speaking against stalking is just insane and mean-spirited.

Anyway, that was related to the thing you brought up because instead of people who haven't been stalked invalidating stalking victims, this person used their own victim status to invalidate other stalking victims, which might be even worse. All in all, I want victims of abuses no matter what kind to have a voice and be able to speak about how certain things in media like juvia and her tendencies affect them and to be listened to and affirmed, but to do so without making blanket statements like "I was stalked, and I feel fine, so every other victim should just suck it up".

Closing Notes:

This was probably too long, but I sort of wanted to get some things out there and off my chest. Sorry for taking a while; I wanted to have at least a sort of articulate post in response. Thank you for the ask, Anon, and I hope you don't have to see any more bad Pro gr///vian arguments!

#haaah the idea of gruvia and juvia just makes me feel weary sometimes #it really brings out the worst in people #stalking victims don't deserve this treatment #askgraluna #ask #anti gruvia #anon #i hope this post is coherent; at some point i just felt like i wasn't making any sense but i don't want to spend forever on it #i'm probably just tired from the daylight savings and just bad sleep schedule in general lol #anti juvia #anti juvia loxar #anti juvia lockser #fairy tail

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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years

Text

The General (part 9.5): Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: it’s over. the ruse is up.

wc: 2.1k

tw: none

masterlist

“Have you ever considered just not going to meet the Prince and remaining in your rooms?” Kaori wonders as you sharpen a blade with a rock. “I mean, I’m sure he wouldn't bother you if you assumed the appearance of an invalid. How about getting out of town for a week?”

She’s tried everything to get you to reconsider your stance on killing Prince Naoya. Any theory, any loophole, any cop-out; Kaori’s said it. But you have no choice. Geto has to be avenged, and the only way you can manage vengeance is killing the man who sent your lover to his death.

“Listen, we have only a couple of days left. We can use poison, strangulation, accidental drowning, and straight-up murder - which I think is the messier of the bunch.” Toji ticks off methods as he watches you work away at the blade with determination. “I vote we poison his food, and if that doesn’t work, smothering can go a long way.” Megumi peers into the little pond in front of him as his father discusses treason, entirely uninterested in anything but finding another frog to play with. You envy the child and wish that you could take his place, forgetting everything else except the current pursuit of a frog. But your frog is much more elusive, slippery, and well-guarded.

“We have to drug the guards first,” you note, and Toji grunts affirmatively, biting his lip as he stares past you, deep in thought. You look at the scar on his mouth and squint, wondering if you’re just now noticing the pink-ish raised mark or if you’d seen it before, but never noted the way it looks against his tanned skin in the sunlight. You look away before anyone can accuse you of staring, but make a note to ask about the injury later.

“How can you be assured that none of this will affect your parents?” Kaori wonders, and you look at her with a pensive stare.

“I’m sure it wouldn’t affect them. They know nothing of the plot and I--”

“If you’re dead, you can’t defend them,” she reminds you, and for a moment, you reconsider the plan altogether.

“Toji, do you think you could get my parents out of here safely?”

“I can’t guarantee shit,” he replies, resting his chin on his palm as his green eyes focus in on you again. “But I can sure as hell try.” He adds when you give him a defeated look. You respond to his addition with a half-smile, and he rolls his eyes at the sight, huffing out a short breath.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Try and hit me,” Toji encourages you, and you reach a hand out to slap him across the face. But you miss entirely and stumble forward, almost face-planting into the ground. “You can’t put all of your force in your upper body like that.” He chastises, stepping in front of you again.

“Give me a rake and we’ll see about that,” you counter, earning you a loud laugh. Toji takes his stance again, hands prepared for a fight.

“Come on, little girl, put up a serious fight. You don’t need a rake.” You inhale deeply, centering yourself with one foot placed behind you at an angle and one foot in front, planted firmly into the dirt. “Hit me.”

The roundhouse kick narrowly misses Toji’s tan face, and his eyes widen as your heel barely scrapes his nose.

“I said hit me, not kill me!” The bodyguard gripes, and you laugh at his overly-surprised expression and step back, holding your stomach as you bend over in a fit of giggles. When you stop and straighten back up, you catch Toji staring at you in wonder.

“What?”

“Your laugh… I’ve never heard you laugh like that before.” At the mention of your enjoyment, you hum thoughtfully, realizing, yes - you hadn’t laughed so heartily in a long time. But in his moment of unguardedness, you shoot your hand out - the fist making contact with his gut immediately. He grunts, holding his abs and wincing a little. “You… fucking... bi--” Before he can finish his sentence and grab you, you take off for the hill behind the house, laughing as you run with all of your might.

But Toji catches up to you easily, grabbing your elbow and making you tumble to the grass, then roll back down the hill in his arms. As you roll - and scream - grass and dirt and wildflowers are kicked up and tossed into your hair and clothes, dirtying your face as well. When you stop though, you’re on top of Toji, and his arms are crushing you against his chest protectively.

“You can let go now,” you groan, and he opens his emerald eyes, staring right into yours with an intensity you’ve only seen on one other person’s face. “Toji…” you whisper, and his face changes again, now softer and much more… relaxed, if that was even possible. He blinks, and you pause, recognizing the meaning behind his looks. “Fushiguro, I--” He lets you go immediately, clearing his throat and standing.

“We should get back before dinner. I’m fucking starving.” He saunters off with his hands in his pockets, not even offering to help you up off of the ground.

_______________________________________________________________________

The moon hovers precariously in the night sky, illuminating the garden directly below it and bathing you in moonlight. You’re only a few hours away from meeting Prince Naoya, and it’s the thought of seeing him face-to-face that keeps you up tonight. What would he look like? Would he know who you are? Would he ask you any questions about Geto?

Your eyes rest on the reflection of the moon in the fountain, Toji’s old dagger resting in your lap.

“It ain’t much,” he mumbled when he handed it to you. “But if something happens, whether it’s with the food or the smothering... You’ve got this dagger.” Then he showed you how to murder someone quickly by using a pillow and your dagger, aiming precisely for the open space between his ribcage. “Stab once, pull it out, and run like hell if you want.”

You inhale deeply, filling your lungs with fresh air.

“Cold out here,” Toji mumbles, rubbing his arms as he walks out of the house barefoot. “Can’t sleep, y/n?”

“No,” you admit, then jerk your chin at him. “You?”

“I don’t get much rest these days,” he replies, sitting beside you at the fountain. “Worried about tomorrow?” You look over at the green-eyed man and blink, your blank expression telling all. “Well, I’m not. You’re going to be fine.”

“And what will you do when you have to watch me be executed?” you tease, but Toji’s eyes fall to the fountain, eyeing the moon’s reflection.

“It’ll be sad. But I understand why you have to do what you’re doing.”

“Toji Fushiguro? Sad?” You laugh, but he gives you a withering look instead of laughing along with you.

“Listen, I’ve made a lot of off-color remarks, but I meant what I said. You’re a great person, and I would hate to see your life go to waste over some petty vendetta.” His mumbling catches you off guard, but you say nothing in response, opting to look down at the dagger instead. “But, you’re determined to pursue your lover into the afterlife; I get it. You must really be in love with him.”

“I am,” you reply, still not looking at Toji.

“Well, since you’re going to die tomorrow, I might as well be transparent with you,” Toji whispers. “You know, looking after you was a pain in the ass at first.” You frown at him, wondering what kind of comment that is, but he continues anyways. “But you grew on me. Shit, watching you for these months has become enjoyable, more exciting than the idiocy I used to do before. Y/n… I’m--” Toji swallows hard, then raises his eyes to meet yours. “I’m... going to miss you.” Toji leans in slowly, placing a rough hand on your right cheek before kissing the other cheek with a tenderness you always knew he held deep inside. Once he pulls away, he stands, raking his hands through his short hair and sighing before walking back into the house. But you’re left outside, wondering what could’ve been if you weren’t so hell-bent on bringing your dead lover justice.

_______________________________________________________________________

The sounds of horses, bells, cheering, chants, cacophony… too much noise.

You can hear it all from your position in the kitchen. The village is louder than it’s ever been before, and all the noise provides the perfect background noise to you and your mother’s preparing food for the six of you already living in the house and about thirteen guests- the seven guards, the four servants, a royal advisor, and finally, Prince Naoya. The resulting feast will outshine any feast your mother has cooked before, and you know that the village will speak of the honor bestowed upon your house and the cooking from it for at least a day.

The next day, they will be lamenting the loss of the eldest son of the Imperial Court, and rejoicing upon your execution. Just like they celebrated Geto’s death.

Wherever you are, I hope you’re happy, Su, you pray as you peel a leek with precision. Only a few more hours and Naoya would be within your reach.

First, you’d drug him with a powder Toji had acquired in exchange for… something unmentionable that he wouldn’t divulge. Second, you would help the prince off to his bed as the drug took hold of him and tuck him in. Then, you’d smother him to death. If that didn’t work - “and there’s a chance that it might not”, Toji warned - you would stab him in the heart. Death would reach the Prince’s soul before the morning light. And you would be ready to die the next day, all to meet Geto in whatever world he had passed on to.

An icy hand grips your heart as the hours pass.

The thought of rejoining your lover - feeling his arms around you, touching his hair, looking into his black eyes - is more than enough for you to pretend everything is alright. All you’re doing is making the most of the last few hours you have with your family, Kaori, Toji, and Megumi. The small child is parading about in his newest outfit, displaying his hakama and haori for all to see and coo over. Toji wears a matching outfit, the clouds and animals drifting about his black haori reminding you of a zoo display and of the days you wish you could have.

You’re wearing your best kimono - the peach one Kaori dressed you in the day you left the camp; Suguru’s mother’s kimono. It’s all too beautiful, really. Everyone is dressed up like royalty, but you’re the only one who came dangerously close to that life and escaped by the grace of a certain General who had your heart. Now, you would murder royalty and die as much of an outcast that Suguru was.

After you wash your hands in the fountain, you place the dagger inside your kimono and look at yourself in the mirror for the last time. Color had returned to your cheeks over the past few days, and a certain look in your eye had become commonplace. You had something to live for, and these days would remain in your memory as the best days you’ve had since Geto died.

“They’re coming up the path,” Kaori hisses as she walks past you, ushering Megumi and Toji to the door behind your mother and father. “Come on.” You follow them obediently, standing behind your father and mother as the procession winds its way down the road. While soldiers, musicians, villagers, everyone is parading in front of the carriage carrying the murderer of your lover, you look to the ground and clench your fists. Your resolve steels itself in your spine as you hear the procession get even closer, the clanging making your jaw tighten and your knees tremble. Too much noise, too much noise, too much noise for a man who slaughtered innocents.

The music dies down when the carriage comes to a halt, but the sound of children excitedly squealing nearby. You keep your eyes downcast, not daring to look the spiteful man in the face or attract attention to yourself. The echo of children’s excited chatter stabs you in the heart even deeper - how could children be excited by this killer? - and you try to block out the memories of Itadori, Junpei, and Nobara, but to no avail.

You’re trying so hard that tears are streaming down your face, and mucus gathers in your nose as you begin to cry quietly. Megumi reaches up to grab your hand tenderly, holding it in his five little fingers as you hear the door to the carriage swing open slowly. You avoid looking, and sniff so hard you almost miss the first words out of a certain blue-eyed bastard’s mouth:

“Whoa; watch your step, Yuji! You don’t want to fall in front of Lady y/n, do you?”

_______________________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @kamisamaundercover @jotazinha @just4readingfics @mxhi @sammytamaki @brownskinnedgirll @keelyshayee @leanne-tamashi @vabybizzle @amaris9 @fuegy-fuegy @ambiguous-something

#geto x reader #jjk geto #jjk #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen getou #geto suguru #getou x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagines

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spooky-z · 4 years

Text

SOULMATE AU:: First Swap

Look who's back... That's right! Soulmate AU.

I intend to make a shortfic with five chapters, after finishing posting Bombshell (which already has the first of three chapters posted HERE)

Here they are 7 and their behavior may seem strange, but... Damian. So, yeah.

Soulmate AU:: 1 and 2.

1.4K

Maribat by @ozmav

Marinette was... irritated, so to speak, with Mlle. Bustier.

The woman had once again invalidated her feelings for Chloe. Chloe, who was being particularly mean to her, because she was jealous that Marinette had a soulmate, but she didn't.

Chloe had - as always - thrown a tantrum because Marinette had achieved a better grade than she in the test and didn’t shut up for a second until that moment.

Marinette's head was throbbing with the start of a monstrous headache.

“But Mlle. Bustier!” The blonde whined. "I'm sure Dupain-Cheng cheated!" The high-pitched voice resonated through the windowpanes and hurt the students' eardrums.

"Chloe, please." Mlle. Bustier asked, frowning, probably as irritated as the rest of the students.

Chloe snorted indignantly. "Then I will tell my-"

That was when Marinette felt the comforting presence at her side. Catching the movement with a quick look before she turned around completely so she could look at him better.

The skin kissed by the sun, black hair and short. He dressed like the shinobis she saw in the action movies that papa let her watch when mama wasn't around. Sitting in the chair that was previously available, there was an air of danger around him.

But what caught her attention most were his eyes. His eyes that matched hers perfectly, and he was beautiful.

"Thank you." He replied, his cheeks turning a shy pink.

Marinette squeaked, her hands rising automatically to cover her mouth, drawing the attention of Nino and Kim sitting across from her.

"Are you okay, MDC?" Kim asked.

She shook her head frantically. "If you say..." Nino replied suspiciously.

Marinette took her hands from her mouth to smile at them and so the two turned their attention to the interrupted conversation.

She looked at him again, feeling overwhelmed by the flood of information that hit her.

The world around them changing rapidly.

"Wow." Marinette sighs.

She looked at the breathtaking landscape.

The place they were in looked like a big Asian-style mansion on top of a mountain. She could see the clouds from the floor she was on and how the sun reflected against the rocks around the building.

It was breathtaking.

"I agree with you." He says, his eyes glued to her.

A commotion attracts Marinette's attention.

Underneath where they were, she could see other people - Ghuls - in the same type of black clothes as he was, training with katanas and their face covered.

The League of Assassins. Heir. Batman. Damian.

"Oh." She turns to look at him again. An unknown feeling burning in her chest and a lump stuck in her throat.

Her eyes start to burn, a sob escaping without her permission. "I-" Tears clouded her vision, wanting to-

He- Damian, spread his arms, an intelligible expression on his face and a guilty glint in his eyes.

She didn't hesitate for a second before jumping into his arms.

Finally. Finally, she was able to touch, see, smell him, melt against the heat of his body, unite with him.

"I'm so happy." She sniffs against his neck. “I've been so worried about you! Always hurting yourself and- the pains I felt coming from you...!”

Damian tightens his arms around her.

"I'm fine, ya rouhi (my soul)." He responds smoothly.

Marinette violently denies it. "No, you're not!"

“I am- now I am. You don't have to worry anymore.” Damian whispers against her shoulder.

She smiles at the choice of words, her heart warming more and more. It was like the sky, like she was floating with clouds. She never wanted it to end.

“Mlle. Bustier, Maritrash is being scary!” Chloe's voice frightens Marinette and she moves away from Damian back to the classroom, where everyone is looking at her strangely.

Chloe wags her finger at her, tapping her foot on the floor.

"She's talking strange and smiling like a lunatic!"

Beside Marinette, Damian snorts angrily. "She's just annoying."

"I know. Most of the time I just ignore her, you know? Like a persistent fly.” The girl responds, an acid touch in the words.

Chloe gasps, knowing that Marinette was talking about her.

“Mlle. Bustier!” She whimpers.

The teacher sighs tiredly with Chloe's tantrums and the way Marinette was dealing with it. She, better than anyone, knew that it was not right to disrupt others because she was frustrated.

"Marinette, apologize to Chloe." Bustier asks. "You were rude with your words."

The girl looks at the teacher in disbelief and Chloe smiles convinced.

"But I didn't do anything!" She complains. "Chloe who's being stupid again!"

Everyone in the classroom chokes on Marinette's words. Chloe starts to cry and Bustier gets up from her seat scandalized.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng!" She slaps her hand on the table. "Apologize right now or I will be forced to call your parents at school!" Threatened.

Most of Marinette's classmates were unable to notice the change in the girl's appearance or how her posture had hardened. Not even the change in the girl's eye color was noticed.

Only Kim, Nino - who were sitting closest to her -, Sabrina who knew Marinette and Mlle. Bustier, who, despite everything, was very observant.

'Marinette' leaned back against the back of the seat, her lips pressed in a thin line, her eyes - both green, but with different hues - cold as ice and her hair had darkened to a glossy black.

"I hope that this attitude will be taken not only towards me, but with the annoying girl as well." She says.

"Annoying girl?" Chloe mutters incredulously.

"Why would I do that?" Mlle. Bustier replies. "The only person I see being rude is you."

Marinette throws her head back and laughs sarcastically before looking back at the teacher. The face as hard as stone.

"That was a good joke, mademoiselle." She stands up, arms crossed behind her. "That-" She stops as if she's hearing something. “Chloe, right. She has been distracting everyone since you started class. Making meaningless complaints or just whining and so far, I haven't seen you scold her for it.”

Mlle. Bustier swallows.

"B-But-"

“No ‘buts’!” Marinette cuts the woman. "It gets special treatment just for being the daughter of politician, is it?"

Chloe tosses her hair over her shoulders, arms crossed. “My father is the new mayor of Paris. Mayor! He rules everything, so do I!”

Marinette makes an 'hm' sound without opening her mouth, looking critically from Chloe to Bustier - who had a greenish tinge to her face -.

"It will be something to tell the parents of Dupont students, then." There is a dangerous edge to the girl's tone. "Imagine the scandal that will be when the word comes out that the mayor of Paris and his daughter, has power over the way the school is run"

Marinette smiled and went down the stairs towards Chloe.

Mlle. Bustier sighs at the sweet girl's behavior. Understanding coming to her.

"You are not Marinette." She says.

The girl smiles, an evil look in her eyes.

"Bingo!" She claps excitedly. “I thought you were more stupid. I was sincerely concerned about the school education that habibit is receiving.”

The students made protest sounds with the girl's harsh words, but the look she sent them made everyone freeze in their seats quickly shutting up.

"Who are you-" Chloe fumbles, shocked by the color of Marinette's eyes.

"I think you'd better be quiet, Bourgeois." Non-Marinette says. "Otherwise, you will discover one of the many ways I know how to cut a person's tongue." She makes mimics a scissor with her fingers, without taking her eyes off Chloe.

The blonde's eyes widen in fright.

“Or who knows, one day you may wake up bald... There are many options on the table. I can even let you choose.” Non-Marinette taps her finger against her chin thoughtfully.

Chloe walks away. Hands quickly going to the head, trying to protect the hair away from Marinette.

"I-I don't feel well." Mumbles, picking up the yellow bag from the table. "I think I'm going to go home... Daddy will call dismissing me... Bye!" She doesn't wait for Mlle Bustier's response before running out of the classroom.

Non-Mari smiled beatifically, enjoying the whole scene of the girl's escape and staying until Chloe was out of sight. Then the expression darkened when her attention turned to Bustier.

"You and I are going to have a very serious conversation now."

And Mlle. Bustier swallows, feeling threatened by the girl's words.

[tag list closed]

@thetinymoonflower @nicknnie @a-star-with-a-human-name @naclychilli @gimme-more-caffeine @procrasinatingrightnow @tired-yeetling @amlesi @sassydepression @emjrabbitwolf @actual-disaster-human @mystery-5-5 @thequestionablyhuman @alexresides @officiallyathiana @interobanginyourmom @2sunchild2 @vixen-uchiha @timetomakeanewwish @ranger-gothamite @thanks-captain-obvious @wargraymon0709 @krispydefendorpolice @chocolatecatstheron @kazjaurelia @lysslovsanime @fandomkitty8 @g-arya @zerotosiki @bananaapplewaffle @graduatedmelon @schrodingers25 @queencommonsense @mindfulmagics @michellemagic @kceedraws @littleblue5mcdork @be-happy-every-day-please @razzledazzle247 @northernbluetongue @nerd-nowandforever @satans-favorite-homo @my-name-is-michell @beaversuenightly @roseunivers999 @unmaskedagain @7-sage-7 @wolf-for-life @magic-miraculous @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @moonlightstar64 @changelinggarden @undecisioned @xahriia @chocolateherringtacofan @k-poplunardreams @our-preciousss @miraculouslymiraculous @clumsy-owl-4178 @nach0ava

#soulmate au #daminette #maribat #ml salt #chloe bourgeois #caline bustier #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug

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gpsoftun · 3 years

Text

During my recent re-watch of the Fantastic Fours, I realized even more why Rise of the Silver Surfer is one of the best sequels ever made. It succeeds where too many followups fail. It stays true to the protagonists while also further developing them, raises the stakes, ventures into new territory, avoids rehashing, and balances the drama-action-levity masterfully.

Some of the interesting aspects:

-The movie opens with bizarre disasters going on across the globe. Right away, the audience is informed that there is a mysterious and much bigger threat this time around.

-Re-introducing the Fantastic Four being the Fantastic Four. They're full-blown celebrities now, Reed and Sue keep having their weddings derailed, Ben is comfortable in his rocky skin, and Johnny is more hilarious than ever.

-Reed is as eager to get married as Sue, but he can't help his fixation with trying to save the world via science. Still, it's evident that if he had to choose, he would pick superhero retirement to have a family with Sue.

-All criticism for Sue prioritizing her wedding is absurd. She's concerned about Johnny's power glitch and understands how important it is that they cooperate with the military. Her role as Team Heart gets expanded. Her empathy convinces the Silver Surfer to be their allie. It is devastating when she tries to protect him, but the alien technology penetrates her force field. She's deeply pierced in the chest. It is so gut-wrenching to watch the Team Heart bleeding to death from her own.

-Chris Evans incredible emotional range as Johnny. He's still the kid of the team with innocence and vulnerability behind his showboating persona, but there's clearly more to him. After being the one most in love with his powers, he's now seriously struggling in that area. He's also going through growing pains and trying to figure out what he wants out of life besides media attention.

-Ben went through so much sorrow in the first film and he's completely earned the happiness and peace of mind he has now. He's more outgoing and adored by children. He's willing to go down fighting, but admits he'd rather go out holding Alicia. He is the Team Muscle and strong support pillar for the others.

-The Four have individual arcs and interpersonal relationships, but they're obviously a unified team. Whatever disagreements between them, there's no doubt what an inseparable force they are.

-It's so amazing how well the sub-plots mesh together. Johnny's power issues, Sue and Reed's wedding woes, and the Silver Surfer arriving on Earth are necessary for the end and wrapped up nicely.

-The pacing was great, never too rushed or dragged out. There are plenty of human moments instead of hurrying to get to the next action sequence.

-Victor Von Doom returning without crowding the film or being Magneto levels repetitive. He's supposed to be hostile towards the Four, but Julian McMahon's chemistry with the rest of the cast comes off as if he's comfortable with their temporary truce. Victor and Reed working together looked so natural and he even appeared quietly proud when Reed asserted himself authoritatively towards the general. It's easy to interpret their inevitable fallout as a 'what could have been' scenario.

-The Four having actual friends besides their fans. Alicia is much closer to the other three now, especially Sue. Her relationship with Ben gets more screentime as well. After getting acquainted with the team for less than a day, the Silver Surfer is more loyal to them than any alleged friendship in the X-movies.

-Messages like true heroism requires a lot more than flashy powers. Also, how arguments in a family doesn't necessarily make any one member absolutely wrong or right. No view is dismissed as invalid. Compare that mature approach to the mcu's marketing of Team Tony vs. Team Steve.

-An ending that would make even the hardest heart jump for joy.

I am so grateful for the Definitive Fantastic Four films, especially with what's happening in current day. It's a shame that if any future comic book movies stay true to their source material while also being entertaining, it likely won't be in my lifetime.

A sad situation I might have to remedy.....

#fantastic four: rise of the silver surfer #fantastic four 2005 #found family feels #anti xmdp #anti dark phoenix #anti xma #anti misandry #jessica alba #ioan gruffudd #chris evans #michael chiklis #julian mcmahon #kerry washington #lawrence fishburne

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wisteriabookss · 3 years

Text

My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me.

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts.

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it.

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand.

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . . chile um anyways let’s move on.

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes.

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit.

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word.

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing.

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away.

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot.

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

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saintobio · 3 years

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they're making me look like a mistress and i don't like that 🤨 going about how i "ruined" a relationship, well, this marriage literally ruined my LIFE while it gave gojo opportunities and he's benefiting A LOT from it whether he and sera admits it or not.

Anonymous said

why are sera and gojo so focused on how its hard for their love, there's other things to worry about the world is not just love and rainbows ffs

Anonymous said

u know what i was ok with yn being villainized on wastelands cos damn ok she kind of is the mistress at that point but in this one where im minding my business, trying to make a marriage i was also forced into and thats gonna last years work, im seeing red cos YALL GOTTA KNOW UR PLACEEEEEEE

jeaniszadddy said

i feel that they’re being really selfish in this whole situation, meanwhile y/n is actually doing everything she can too understand and see this whole thing from a different perspective. Although Sera and Y/n had a calm convo my feelings are still iffy towards sera, I completely understand her feelings tho.

@thebeardedmoon said

Curious to know...how y/n’s mother died now that MC is having some kind of health problems 👀

Living for each update so far!! I never know what to expect in the chapters. I’m mind blown every time.

I feel terrible for Gojo and Sera, but that doesn’t excuse how Gojo is treating her. At the very least he could tell her why he married her. Instead of avoiding the question 🙄 poor MC has nobody to turn to. At least Gojo and Sera have each other. She’s so alone in all this. Gojo and Sera are so freaking selfish compared to mc

Anonymous said

sera and gojo has never been able to publicize their relationship for as long as theyve been together but now that yn is in the picture theyre both suddenly acting like something was ruined and their chances are taken??? that's yalls fault 😭

Anonymous said

everyone is mad at sera for why she said to mc but like i didn't even notice that 😭 i was a bit pissed because gojo and sera think because i'm rich everything is my fault. but i ultimately ended up feeling bad for them in this chapter and i want them to have their happy ending. maybe im more like mc than i thought

Anonymous said

Honestly i understand where sera is coming from I just don't think it's fair how both her and gojis are blaming her for the marriage. And also i personally believe that in hoejo and sera's relationship there is a power imbalance for many reasons.

1. The fact that he's in a higher position than her means that she could have easily not liked him but only went along with it because she felt like she had to

2. If he really loved her he their relationship wouldn't have started the way it had in the first place. He only saw her as an act of rebellion and even if he claims he doesn't she will always be a "fuck you" to his dad.

Sorry I Know this ones long I was just thinking hard.

i hope u guys don’t mind me compiling these since they’re all related !! i agree with most of these bc gojo and sera are living in their own world, so y/n’s pain is being invalidated as if she didn’t have the right to feel the way that she feels bc she “ruined” a relationship. while it’s normal to feel bad for them, we can also admit that they really were a bit selfish in some aspects :(

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not

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beautifulweird0 · 4 years

Text

Forgiving Your Parents

I know too many people who’ve experienced some form of trauma from their parents. This isn’t a blog about bashing your folks- this is hopefully a post that will help salvage some strained parent and child relationships. Cause I been there, done that-and understanding your parent is only feasible if your parent is interested in understanding you.

My disclaimer is this: The child isn’t responsible for mending the relationship...solely. I’mma tell you like this, if your parent doesn’t want anything to do with you...skip em’.

Because that’s backwards as hell and that takes away from loving yourself. Anyway you chop it, if you find yourself forcing yourself on a “parent”, the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere-AND THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT OR CONCERN. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE EXTREMELY WORTHY. I’m so sorry your people ain’t solid; it’s a reflection of them-not you.

It’s my belief that something is wrong with a person if they want no parts of having a relationship with their child. Literally so messed up from their own unhealed traumas that they can’t find it within themselves to love someone they created…

Ain’t no fixing on that unless you take they ass to a therapist.

Moving on.

I’ve always had such a strong feeling in my gut when I come across new people. It’s like they look at me and think I got it all. Truly looking at me and seeing a woman who doesn’t have insecurities or childhood traumas spotted along her path cause I’m kind and always make it a point to smile like Granny told me.

I’m usually a private person. But its always been that ‘pull’ on me-telling me… “It’s another little girl that is going through the same stuff you went through. Say that shit anyway. And with your chest.” .

Think about it...

Can’t a soul embarrass you about some stuff you open about. That takes all the fun out of their miserable lives if folks know wassup already.

So as a 22 year old woman that been through some mess with her people, let me share pieces of me. Cause the last thing you want on your conscience is one of your parents passing and ya’ll not being on the best of terms.

I was listening to Mad Bitches the other day and Mikhala Jene said something along the lines of, “Nobody living is perfect”.

That hit me a little different. Like damn...nobody walks this earth perfect so...why do we expect perfection (again, subconsciously).

THIS.

This is why I say if your parent is trying, then work with them. If they sit down with you and tell you how life was for them coming up. The good parts, the ugly parts, and everything in-between. Trying their best to be authentic and build a bond, then meet em’ halfway (if they haven’t been on some stuff that’s just unforgivable).

And shit, our people ain’t have everything at their fingertips as we do. The apps that spread information quicker than you could sneeze, weren't available. They couldn’t go on a ‘self-care’ page to calm themselves down if triggered or go on YouTube and watch motivational videos. Not making excuses, just using a little perspective that helps me! Yet and still, let your parent(s) know if they did something to wrong you; you gotta’ have respect for yourself as a human. Period.

I didn’t find out who my biological father was until I was about 16 years old. Up until that point I believed another man was my father (which he is still and will always be!).

Sooo...I already had abandonment issues from my parents and my dad lived in a way at that time, that all parties involved thought it was best my grandparents took us in. That’s all I know is Granny’s (& Grandpa’s) house since I was a baby.

It helped that when my mom told me who my biological dad was, she was in a much better state of mind and stable-but man...I didn’t know what to feel. My sister was more upset than me (cause we have the same dad hypothetically).

So many questions ran through my head that I couldn’t even cry or be mad. I was shocked. Everyone played their role so well…

There was a long road ahead of me. Not only did I have to forgive my mom and dad for lying to me for so long, but there was a father in the same city I had yet to know.

My first point is patience. If you aren’t going to be patient with an end goal for you and your parent, you’re wasting your time. Being prepared for them to fumble sometimes is mandatory if y’all going to get to a better place. You mess up on certain projects or what have you’s a few times before you get it right...right?

Give your parent the same energy if you were in their shoes. Cause baby...ain’t nothing worse than admitting your wrongs and still getting beat down. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at my mom in that moment where she was vulnerable and upset cause she knew she played a part in hurting me. What was it gone do but make me feel bad and her feel worse?

Blowing up wasn’t going to change what happened now 22 years ago.

Yeah, there’s hella’ books on parenting but I’mma tell y’all like my Granny told me, “There’s no such thing as a book on how to be a parent.”.

Having a child of my own- I’ve been witness to this. Folks can be shown and folks can be told on how to do certain things but with each child being different in this world, you have to be intune with them specifically- no book on that.

I was through hell and back with my mother and now we’re in an extremely better place because we both made the effort (more-so on her part 🌚).

But it was my responsibility to go into it with pure intentions and my guard down a bit after she made the effort; disappointment is what I expected sometimes cause I went into it knowing it was going to be a process.

Don’t get it confused, my mom always knew how I was-that wasn’t the issue. The new end goal was getting to know each other again so I could understand her better so I could forgive her. That’s no sucka’ shit. Its real. Everybody in this life is going to disappoint you, one way or another. Better to know what you’re dealing with so you can assess the situation in order to better assess the person. Free game.

Another step to keep in mind is, boundaries. I just feel like it will make the whole exchange smoother-not easier- but smoother. The point of forgiving your parents and (if you chose) trying to build a relationship, is to have them know you for who you are NOW. Not when you were 5, not when you was 12...have them meet you at your level. They dropped the ball, not you. Sure...nobody asked to be here but that becomes invalid when you start having babies of your own. It’s a different ball game when you bring a life into this world. Your joys become the joy of your children but way too often we forget that our pain becomes theirs as well.

My father always tried too-the dad that I always knew as my dad. On weekends me and my sister would go to his house before he moved to Michigan. Man I was a daddies girl-still am. My grandparents had the house on lock, couldn't watch programs with cussing in it or too much violence. Life of having Southern Baptist grandparents I guess.

The weekends at pops house was always interesting. I could watch all the music videos I wanted and watch the movies that didn't have too much goin on in them.

My dad would do different stuff with us like go to the library; he always knew I loved reading. Sometimes my dad would take us to the park or a friends house who had kids (how I met my husband), water parks, or even cooking dinner with me and my sister; plenty of quality time where I could talk to him about anything.

However, at the time, pops lived a certain lifestyle and no matter how hard he tried to shield it from us younger kids, I still seen things and experienced things a child shouldn't have. Again, comes with the lifestyle I guess.

My dad drunk...ALOT. And it was interesting to see the 'upsides' of alchoholism and the very big downsides. I'd never forget, I was maybe 8? Another weekend at my dads, just me and my sister (I have multiple brothers on that side too plus another sister), and I woke up one morning on the couch. My dad was goin through some things- all he had was a couch that he let me and my little sister sleep on. My 1st thought when I woke up was where was my dad sleeping? My sister was sleep, and it was still fairly early in the morning. I go back to the empty bedroom to find him sleep on the floor. No pillow. No cover. Just a beer in hand, laid out. That broke my heart.

Just remember feeling sad all over. I took the beer, threw it away then grabbed the pillow I had and laid it under his head. While doing so, my dad woke up, halfway and kissed my hand.

He told me straight up he loves me and he apologized. Didn't go into detail but he didn't have to. My dad never had his pops in his life, nor his mama until he was grown and was taking care of her though her illness.

I knew even at 8 years old that, that gotta hurt. I'm not gone sit here and act like I always understood the motives of my father but I tried because he always tried to understand me and til' this day, he is one of the top 3 people that KNOWS me like the back of his hand.

I had to forgive my parents because they’ve come a long way. Holding all that anger and resentment wasn’t gone help me in the long run. And in a way I can say I've helped to heal them by loving them through their screw ups. We always talk about a parents love but what about a child's love?

I don’t want to pass down my pain to my son, he don’t need that- the world will give its fair share. But everyday I pray that the world won’t hurt him bad. I want my son to be nothing less than strong mentally, emotionally, but most of all spiritually. He won’t have that unless I’m solid. So I ask myself… ‘hm, what’s still hurting me?’.

We all got a story to tell.

Love. Peace. Manifest.

#black #love #hate #generationalcurses #generations #hurt #healing #blackfamilies #blog #monetsway #alcoholism #mother #father

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mofieroll · 4 years

Text

Thunderstorms (Josuke Higashikata x Reader)

A Josuke Higashikata x Reader one shot where you were once part of the Crusaders, coming to Morioh with Mr. Joestar, and your pomp baby likes you.

Word Count: 5.2k

A chilly breeze under the warm sun. You were standing on the port of a moving boat, facing the wind that blew your [H/C] hair as you leaned on the sill with a calm expression, eyes closed and lips quirked into a wide smile. You loved moments where you just partook the natural quiet sounds around you, the splashes of water and whispering currents being music to your ears. The day has been serene so far, but you didn't really come here for vacation.

"Shizuka! Come quick! Come quick!"

The voice of a man called for you, disturbing your moment with the calming ocean. You stood from leaning and yawned, popping some stiff muscles before you ran off in panic upon realizing that you were supposed to take care of the person that called for you. Yeap, you forgot of your job for over a second.

You entered the lounging room of the boat and darted your eyes on the back of a crouching man who seemed to be inspecting something on the ground beside the couch. You couldn't see what it was but you were relieved, placing your hands on top of your heart as you sighed.

The man shifted his head and glanced at you with wrinkled eyes and parted lips, "I tried slipping on it, Shizuka, but I couldn't!"

You peeked over him after you reached his side and saw something yellow, "Is that what I think it is?" You replied, giggling as you realized his comedic attempt on trying to solve cartoon logic.

"This banana peel couldn't make me slip.." The old man repeated as he tried to stand up. You held his arm and helped him settle on the couch. He grabbed his wooden cane and placed it in between his legs before setting his eyes on the oceanic scenario outside the windows, "[Y/N]..! I'm sorry.. the name Shizuka has been on my mind lately.. It's-it's a pretty name, don't you think?"

You smiled at his words, grabbing the banana peel from the ground before sitting beside him, "I think it is, Mr. Joestar!"

Familial and friend, you were someone that Mr. Joestar would describe with those two words. Being a member of the Crusaders, and being the youngest one at that, had a big contribution on your platonic relationship with the old man. He was always looking out for you while your brave self assured him that you're afraid of one thing, but you're not afraid to kick the lingering enemy Stand users' peaches. He believed you like how a father would believe her daughter's imaginary stories, making sure you won't feel like you were invalidated. Although, his worry that the trip would scar you, both physically and mentally, increased to the max when the group arrived at Egypt, which led to you being transported back to your lonely home by the Speedwagon Foundation.

You couldn't understand the reason of his worry along with the other Crusaders, so you had a childish decision to to cut ties with them, only to reach out a few years later. At that time, you talked to Mr. Joestar himself, not even hiding the fact that you broke down on the phone when he hesitantly told you that only three of your group survived. You were joyed that he still considered you as a part of the Crusaders, but you were disappointed that you were immature, making you miss all the trivial things that happened. The old man comforted you like those nights when you were missing your parents, fondly telling you, "That's a no-go! The boys wouldn't want you shaming yourself now, and neither would I. Live your life like you're supposed to, little [Y/N]. Everyone would be so proud of the woman you'd become!"

Now that you're on the legal age of 18, you're trying to fulfill your number one goal in mind, and that is to be a doctor under the Speedwagon Foundation. Sure, you're a bit forgetful sometimes, but you have a free pass for being under special training which was only possible because of your Stand.

..and your connection with the Joestars.

You and Mr. Joestar were sitting in silence, lost in reminiscing thoughts, until the sound of a water vehicle grew to be disturbing the peace even if it sounded far.

"What..?" You glared at the surroundings, frantically looking from the door where you came from to the side of the windows, figuring out where the vehicle is most likely to be, "Mr. Joestar, I have to check something outside. It'll be quick, a'right?" You stood up, rushing outside after you received no reply from the unbothered old man who still had his attention on the scenery.

You ran through and up the hallway until you reached the edge of the deck. You held on to the red fence as you leaned with squinting eyes, trying to see who was on the.. motorboat approaching the boat you're on. The attempt took minutes, making you sit on the floor in boredom before you jumped to your feet in excitement as you finally saw the passengers of the smaller vehicle. One was a boy in a blue uniform you absolutely do not know and the other..

The other was your childhood emo crush who now wore a white hat and coat, "JOTARO! Jotaroooo!" You screamed, waving both your hands with a cheeky grin. This is your first time meeting him after a decade! You forgot, but you were just as excited when you were informed about meeting Jotaro Kujo during this boat trip with Mr. Joestar.

"I heard you're a Marine Biologist now, huh! Remember when you knocked that one shark out to save me?!" You ironically screamed before laughing, following the motorboat to the back as the boy in uniform whispered to Jotaro while pointing at you. The adult man didn't mind the two children around him and focused on driving the motorboat, tugging the brim of his hat down as he gave himself a small smile.

Two of the Speedwagon Foundation crew was already waiting for the motorboat when you reached the back, "Sirs! You knew they were coming?" You asked as you reached their side, eyes still on the said vehicle.

"[L/N]? We actually informed you about this.." One of the two answered, making you rub your neck as you looked up, trying to remember it happening. You tried.. and got extremely confused in just a minute that you didn't even notice that the passengers of the motorboat had boarded yours. You were snapped with your sudden realization that you've told Mr. Joestar you'll only be quick with checking, making you run back to the room he's in.

Okuyasu Nijimura, who actually thought you ran off because he stood in front of you, looked back at Jotaro with a puzzled face. The adult man shove his hands inside his pockets and gave permission to follow you with a jerk of his head, to which the student complied to, but not without a scrunched face and a dramatic hop on the small wall that separated the stern of the boat from the hull where the lounge was.

Mentoring three different teenage boys has been a pain in the back. Jotaro doesn't know if he should be happy that you're back with them or.. he should just devise an escape plan from all of this. Either way, with you here, he's certain that he doesn't have to look out for his Jiji that much.

The boat arrived at the harbor safely. Knowing that an enemy posed as a crew and wanted to get rid of Mr. Joestar was a bit surprising, you even thought Okuyasu was Mr. Joestar's son at first! But now that you're seeing his actual son who had an eye-catching pompadoured hair, you weren't surprised on how charming he was.

You whistled and nudged Jotaro who was on your side. Everyone had their eyes on the father and son walking away hand in hand, "Woah, that's Josuke Higashikata? Sheesh, Jotaro. What's with y'all Joestars being so hot and everything?"

Jotaro glared at you, "Gimme a break. You're older than him."

You glared back and faced him, "I'm literally 18 and he's 16! Don't say that like I'm some sort of creep!" You jokingly punched him on the shoulder and voiced an ora, to which he responded with tipping his hat down and turning his back on you, "Hmp— Oh, may you please tell Josuke that I could tend to his wounds? I don't wanna ruin their moment right now, so maybe later?"

Jotaro turned his head and nodded, "Coolness! Thanks, my dear ocean man!"

—

Several weeks have passed since yours and Mr. Joestar's arrival at Morioh, and you've grown closer to the group as to be expected. Okuyasu always goes out of his way to meet you at the hotel you're staying at because of how much he enjoys your pampering when he blurts to you about how his pomp-haired friend gets the ladies in school, he had even told you that Koichi had a scary girl obsessing over him, not forgetting to mention that she was cute anyway. You seldomly meet the said boy, Koichi, as he was not the type to go around town if not needed, and only accompanied him once when he walked his large fluffy dog. Josuke on the other hand, always comes with Okuyasu to the hotel but he doesn't speak to you and only observes your interactions with his friend and his father while you also played with the invisible baby they found, whose name is now Shizuka. You didn't know there was a relevant reason as to why he wouldn't talk to you even if you tried to start a conversation, so you shrugged it off and just shot him genuine smiles whenever your gazes met. You were technically the older sister in the gang and it would make sense that Jotaro was the older brother, but he was more of an uncle figure.

Josuke planned to continue his tsundere facade until he was sure of asking you out -on a date- for a hangout with just the two of you, but what he didn't expect was for a certain someone, who he just can't seem to get along with, to poof up and force him to ruin his own plans.

"Listen, listen! I met a Stand User earlier today. I was just doing my own thing when he took photos of me without my permission. He even directed me of what to do and straight up got mad when I hesitated! Turns out, he's a mangaka who found me as a good reference and I was like, good and not perfect? He glared at me for a second then he just summoned his Stand! Yo! It was a cute, white and gold dude! Of course he didn't get the chance to use the dude on me, I have my totally cute Stand too! Next thing I know, he invited me for coffee! Rad, huh?"

You didn't even need to mention his name for them to know who you were talking about. The two boys who listened, Josuke and Okuyasu, looked at each other in shock before talking to themselves like you weren't there. Calling him the 'spider-licking guy', badmouthing him and expressing every inch of their dislike for the man. Inviting you for coffee was a bad call, it just meant that you two became friends and scheduled a date. Josuke tried his best to make you back out of it, eventually talking to you all the time and taking care of you, his father and the baby, like the older brother —your partner— he wanted to be since the time he realized he likes you. He couldn't accept that the mangaka had the upper hand, so he tried to do everything he can to change that.

But of course, the 'pure love kind of guy' failed.

The day of your date with the great mangaka arrived. You were in a good mood as you prepared, the voice of Kai Harada playing on the background radio noise. The man had said that today is a sunny day, to your delight, but there is a chance of a hard gloomy storm at afternoon, to your dismay. If there's one thing about nature that you dislike the most, it's thunderstorms. Although those weren't mentioned, the anxiety of being out in the open while it occurred crept over you. You observed yourself at the vanity mirror: your hair fixed into a [H/S] that you do only for special occasions and a [F/C] [O/F] that fitted your style and body as you kept your face in a natural but fresh look, eyeing details of yourself to shrug off the previous thought.

It's now 1PM and you are finally face to face with the mangaka, seated outside the famous Cafe Rengatei in Morioh. You arrived earlier than the meeting time, making you certain that your efforts to fix yourself went to a shame.

"It seems you've made an effort for your meeting with me today. You look quite presentable," Rohan started, leaning on the chair as he crossed his arms and had his chin up.

You quirked a brow, copying his action, "And what does that imply, Mr. Good Reference?"

"It implies that you're a perfect reference right now so I'll be straight to the point of this meeting," He frankly stated. Puzzled at the word 'meeting', your brows creased, "I want you to let me use Heaven's Door on you, and you will be paid. Since I didn't get a good— let you get away before, I'm asking for the permission you're requiring me of. I heard from my friend, Koichi, that you might have an interesting story. I could have just used Heaven's Door on him, but his information of you is limited. So, is that settled?"

And here you thought this was a date.

You bit your cheek from the inside and held the clothing on your lap, "Yeah, yeah. When do we start? Oh, and you don't have to pay because you sounded real genuine and kind. Thank you very much!" You replied, a bit of sarcasm coming with it.

Rohan raised an eyebrow and battled with your blank stares before speaking, "Tch. I have the money to pay, [L/N]. Meet me at my house tomorrow morning. Don't make me wait." He grabbed his sketchbook from below the table and stood up, giving you one final, sassy look before he left.

You watched him walk away, sighing deeply as his form vanished. He got you hard with the coffee invitation and he didn't even stayed a little longer to order and enjoy an afternoon snack with you. Oh, right.

You were just acquaintances. Nothing more and maybe less. It's not that you liked him in a certain way, you were only bummed that you requested a day off for this. Taking care of the people you care about and studying for your medical course are much better than misinterpreting a business deal for a casual date. You sighed once again, lightly hitting your head on the table, "This is the work of the worst enemy Stand."

The disappointment took over your senses on your surroundings, so you became more oblivious to the Josuke that was watching you far behind.

And yes, he's been there all the time.

Shocking and unbelievable to the ears of the mutual friends of Rohan and Josuke, but the mangaka was the one to set you and the student up. It's true that Rohan had heard of you from Koichi, but that's not all. He had also heard that Josuke had been acting distant to you when all he talks about at school is.. well, you. How did he even know about that? It's absolutely not the work of Heaven's Door, Koichi just had to slip up.

You and Josuke both stayed at your respective places, unsure of what to do next now that Rohan had done his part. A few minutes passed, and you both sighed at the same time. You stood up, deciding that you'd go back at the hotel and play with the adorable Shizuka, while the nervous Josuke continued watching you, figuring out the right time to show up.

You were supposed to walk back, but then drops of water started falling from the sky. You opened your palm and looked up the sky, only to see gray colors eat up the blues. You closed your eyes and sighed once more, whispering to yourself, "This day is a work of an enemy Stand."

Not for Josuke who brought an umbrella that he'd share with you, though.

The drops of rain became a heavy storm within minutes, making you run to the nearest waiting shed. There were only hints of you being soaked, but it didn't help your body that had low resistance towards the cold. In this moment where you hugged yourself to keep your body heat, you remembered the Crusaders. The group of big men who all had a soft spot for you, and the small dog who accompanied you at your mischievous times. They were the group that always made sure to keep you warm, the group that always assured you that thunderstorms—

"AAAAH!"

You squealed upon hearing the deafening noise from above, the sound of pouring rain quickly enveloping after. You whimpered and tucked yourself in the corner of the shed, hands covering your ears and tightly gripping your now messed hair as you trembled greatly. Slowly and weakly, you dropped yourself, your knees meeting the coldness of the ground. This was supposed to be a nice day. A nice, enjoyable day that involved no stress and no professional work. Mr. Joestar also wanted you to enjoy but this, fighting back the urge to sob while you silently hollered in the storming public, isn't exactly your idea of spending your leisure time.

"[Y-Y/N]?"

Josuke stood just outside the waiting shed, a black umbrella, protecting him from the rain, in hand. He ran when he heard your scream, resulting to his shoes and pants to be thoroughly soaked. He looked at you with worry and guilt, although clueless as to what exactly caused your outspoken self to curl into a whimpering puppy. Rohan.. It must've been him. He shouldn't have just stood there watching, "[Y/N]..? Did Rohan do—"

A loud thunderstorm sounded once more, making you scream and push yourself to the corner. Josuke gasped, it's.. the thunderstorms that's causing this.

Josuke entered the shed and closed the umbrella, hanging it on the roof. You weren't paying him any of your attention, your conscious mind devoured by unsettling thoughts. Your phobia of thunderstorms was something you caught from your childhood. Something you caught from the freezing and lonely nights without your parents, people who you most expected to be there for you when you're being secluded by fright.

The boy who was now crouching in front of you noticed your lack of attention as he's been calling your name. He bit his lower lip, feeling more and more soft as each second passed. He should have known.. he usually did ask Mr. Joestar about you after all.

Josuke gave up on calling you and proceeded to his second move, which was to cover you with his gakuran. He stood up, unclasped the remaining buttons and gently enrobed you with the garment, slight joy sparking in him when you quickly accepted and wrapped yourself with it. He expected that you were still clueless of a person here with you, but you really are filled with surprises.

"T-thank you.. Angel.." You muttered, a serene feeling slowly emerging when you thought a kind citizen had randomly decided to be concerned over a breaking down woman. You exhaled deeply, eyes opening as your whole form has been blanketed by the coat.

"Angel? You think that suits me?"

You felt your heart skip a beat upon hearing the familiar cheerful voice. It wasn't some random citizen who helped you, of course it had to be someone you know.

You draped the coat over your shoulder and wrapped your body with it, head turning to the side where your sight met the ever-majestic boy's grin, hastily noticing his biceps as he only had a yellow sando as a top. Your eyes widened in surprise, bringing back the coat over your head to hide the creeping blush on your face. The turn of events had you sweeping away the thoughts of your phobia, at least.

"A-ah..? Of course it suits you! You're my.. our JoJo after all!" You faced him and answered after sighing inside the coat, trying to compose yourself, "Your g-gakuran is so warm, Josuke. I might just steal it now!"

Josuke let out a chuckle, comfortably glad that you feel better now. He had one more move up his sleep and he'd ecstatic if he could do it, but maybe some other time.. or later..? Woah there, he shouldn't be thinking about that right now. But for real, he's curious on.. how having you in his arms would feel. Your body insufferably close to his.. your loving arms wrapping around him as he shared his body heat so that you'd be shivering no more.. Sh*t, this is still a crush, right?

"U-uhm, Higashikata to e-earth..?"

"Ah? What? Oh! Yeah, sorry! W-were you saying something?"

Josuke got too far with his thoughts that he stayed still, staring at you with half-lidded eyes and a smirk, a pink shade on his cheeks which were becoming evident even with the storm blocking out the light from the sun. You didn't consider that he looked at you like a lovestruck boy and snapped him from his trance, concerned that he might be feeling cold now.

"I was asking if you.. uhm.. now that I think of it, I m-might sound like a creep," You said, still trembling. You closed your eyes and sighed, meeting his encouraging expression as you opened them again. A pursed smile formed on your lips, "You could have your coat back although I.. I was hoping if we could share it but—"

"Of course we can! I thought you'd never ask, [Y/N]!" Josuke jumped to his feet, a confident grin on his face. You looked up at him, confused, "Brr! I'm starting to feel cold too! Well?" He happily lied, crossing his arms and making an up and down motion over his biceps to add to his bluff. Josuke's not going to let this chance pass! You were the one to offer the.. intimate gesture, he'd be cursing himself forever if he messes this up.

You nodded with your mouth agape and tried to stand up on your feet. Your legs were numb for having to carry your weight on the ground, so it'd make sense if you stumbled for a bit. Fortunately, a strong and quick-thinking boy was there to catch you before it even happens, his hands —which flicked the coat— supporting your waist as you held on his wrists. Oh boy, why is it that you think he'd be a perfect gym partner?

"Perfect gym partner, huh? I wouldn't mind that too, Ms. [Y/N]!" Your eyes widened upon his words, "Yep, you just said it out loud!" Josuke laughed, giving you the urge to turn around in embarrassment but you couldn't, his stubborn hands locking you in place. An awkward silence engulfed as you looked into each other's eyes, the sound of pouring rain joining in again.

You gulped as Josuke sighed and cleared his throat, "I know this isn't a good moment to say what I'm about to say, but I don't think I could do it anywhere else without being awkward so I'm going to say it," Josuke sighed once more and you blink as a response. He sounded complacent yet also shakened while your confusion is getting ahead of you, "I'm really, REALLY going to say it now! I'm actually going to say it, will you let me say it? Uh.."

"..F*ck this is harder than I thought."

You creased your brows, adamantly switching to your sister form, "Language, JoJo!" You retreated your hands and tapped his cheeks, and.. you know you shouldn't have done that.

From another person's view, yours and Josuke's position just got more romantic than ever. Your small hands cupping his adoring face as his were firmly placed on your waist.. His almost bare top fighting the cold breeze brought by the storm just so you could be warm under the cover of his gakuran that was appealingly big on you.. This is much preferable than what Josuke daydreamed. You even called him JoJo, which he's never heard you call his nephew or his father with. Holy.. you're oblivious to the fact that you're setting the mood for him, aren't you?

You were about to pull your hands away when he swiftly locked your wrists, your waist now free from him. You gasped and felt your heart skip a beat. It was just like when you first heard his voice earlier. Being with him like this feels good but.. it doesn't feel right.

"I'm being pushy here, aren't I?" Josuke chuckled shakily, "I feel like bursting at this moment, so.. Ms. [Y/N], would ya listen? I know it'd be uncomfortable and freaky, but I seriously need to say it."

You barely nodded, his hands bringing down yours and holding it in his. He was looking down at the pairs, smiling at how yours fitted in his, "It's only been weeks since we've met— heck, since I've met you and Mr. Joestar, and this isn't really the right time for me to be having this.. puppy crush when enemy Stand Users are on the lose, but I don't usually crush over someone this hard." He grunted, his hands delicately squeezing yours, "I.. I like you, [Y/N]. Like, like-like like you. There.. I finally said it."

The moment would have been cute because of his mulish confession, but you just had to ruin it for the poor boy.

"Josuke we're.. we're family." Josuke flinched before looking at you, his arched brows hitting each other. The tables have turned, and he's the one that's waiting now, "Mr. Joestar, Jotaro.. they're like father and older brother to me while.." You sighed, successfully pulling your hands away from his weakened grip, "Josuke, I don't want to trade my close relationship with your father's family.. for a possibly temporary feelings for me."

Your words hit like Cupid shot their arrow backwards, but Josuke didn't let himself be completely fazed. He was taken aback for a second, but that doesn't mean he didn't expected this. He knew how much the Joestar Family meant to you. You're even proud that you owe your life to them, to such good people that were the epitome of justice and heroic greatness. He took note of that fact when he was getting to know you through his father, who seemed to enjoy telling stories about you. Somehow, he could say he was prepared for this.

"But, doesn't that mean if I proved my feelings aren't temporary and I'm proudly certain of it, I would have a chance with you?" Josuke grinned, tilting his head as he shove his hands in his pockets, "Also, Mr. Joestar approves of you being his daughter-in-law. Man, I'm just glad you didn't accept his offer to adopt you years ago. That would have sucked!"

Your lips opened and closed like a fish underwater, making Josuke smirk inwardly. You were almost speechless, and that's a good thing for him, "How did you.. Why do you even.." You stiffened, fiddling with his coat as you turned on to your side, facing the raining scenery, "Josuke, I don't know why you're doing this, b-but this ain't funny, y'know? Don't you like, see me as your older sister or—"

"At first," You glanced at Josuke who was now facing outside too, "When you introduced yourself as Mr. Joestar's caretaker, yeah," He stole a glance back and pouted, "But when we got to know you and literally took care of me like you're my caring girlfriend? Hell no. I could even bet Okuyasu also had a crush on you, but he told me you were like a mom, a cute mom at that." He shook his head, chuckling at what he said, "Misunderstanding your actions was a sh*tty move for me but I don't regret it one bit, Ms. [Y/N]."

There, Josuke did not just confess his romantic feelings to you, but also admitted how his decision to like you seemed inappropriate. It was valid nonetheless, as you weren't related to him by blood, but you take pride in being the Joestars' comrade —even if you seemed thirsty for them some times— and he acknowledges that.

No one gets to choose who they specifically prefer to be with, anyway. He had to 'Dora!' his way out of his boundaries with you or he would be lying to himself, which he dislikes the most, aside Rohan.

"Are you sure Mr. Joestar's okay with this?" You asked, sighing, "I don't mind giving you a chance now that—"

Josuke didn't even let you finish and proceeded to lock you in his arms, pulling you in excitement as his arms snaked around your neck and your head, "I said 'chance', JoJo! You haven't even asked me if you wanted me to be your girlfriend—"

"So you like me too?" Josuke cut you off again, smiling down at you. You sighed and nodded, accepting your defeat. He shouted a yes, an arm punching above, hitting the roof of the shed, "Aw—! But hey, you just admitted that you like me! Take that, Rohan!"

You slightly pulled away from Josuke, "What does Kishibe have to do with this?" You asked, glaring at him. Josuke shook his head, scratching the back of it as he grinned. Rohan totally had something to do with this as he didn't only set them up, but even tried to discourage the lively Josuke by saying that you'd reject him and tell him that you only see him as family. Technically, he was right— but that didn't last long!

You were going to ask about it again when a thunderstorm sounded, breaking down your collected spirit as you ended up holding yourself close to the boy in front of you. His playfulness aside, he fixed his gakuran that was still on you and wrapped you in his arms protectively, assuring you that you're going to be okay. Another thunderstorm followed, startling you even in his arms. You were a shaking mess, your fists grabbing a handful on the back of his sando, face buried on his chest. He should've been shivering from the cold all this time, but your presence provided warmth for him and he's grateful for that. Josuke willingly let you nuzzle yourself around him, knowing that it comforted you and it brought contentedness to his feelings.

"I hope you won't mind being the rainbow that brings color to my life, [Y/N]."

"Y-yeah, JoJo.. u-unless I strike you as a lightning w-when you break my heart.."

"I'm frightened that you can be scary while you're scared [Y/N] but.. sh*t, I just realized.."

"What i-is it now..?"

"It's also hot."

[End!]

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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Thank You For Dropping Me Off, Sir

Now I've talked a lot about Armando's denial and given the facts to prove it. What I don't want getting lost in translation though is that though Armando does care about Betty, you cannot deny that he is also concerned over the company, however it(his feelings towards Betty) is the the real reason he continues with the plan.

@el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle (They're the poster about Aura Maria and Mario their post is Episode 64, go read it if you haven't had the chance!) mentioned something that I hadn't thought about all that well, that due to Armando's tendency of people pleasing he often does things out of a deep responsibility for their happiness and his guilt.

When Mario manipulates him this day(the day after he first kissed Betty) he really switches language as he tells him "I don't like this." "I'm worried." He's after our(my) money." which moves Armando to continue with the plan, for the sake of Mario and the company and everyone else in the company but now he has another reason, he somewhat wants to understand what he feels.

Now let's jump into the scene I'll be breaking down.

Betty is being dropped off by Armando. She is still keeping this very PG, trying to justify his actions to them being work related. Again this is very true of a person who has experienced real heartbreak of the romantic kind. Like I mentioned in the previous post I was in toxic friendship, when that friendship was over I spent years guarding myself around anyone and making no efforts to from friendships of any real substance and when I did I worked really hard to keep them at arm's length. This was my defense mechanism and I appreciate the fact that they show this with Betty.

In most instances they don't portray characters with emotional damage all too well or one could assume that Betty does this because she's insecure and though to some degree that's true, Betty also does this to protect herself from having to once again experience heartbreak and this time from someone who she actually cares about, not someone who in some way forced himself to be her interest.

Miguel wasn't just a guy who used her and got money out of it. That wasn't the only thing that broke Betty.

Miguel presented himself as a love interested to Betty, who didn't like him at first but was flattered by his attention, as she later tells Armando that she up to that point thought no man would ever pay attention to her as a woman. Betty was somewhat guarded but once she let her guard down she fell in love.

She says she gave all of herself and all her love to him. He was her first love but Miguel didn't care. To Betty what Miguel did translated to him finding her so repulsive, so heinous, and disgusting that even her love wasn't enough to change his heart and he shared her naked spirit to his friends all for money and to make fun of her. It wasn't a question of ego but rather of worth.

This with every right left Betty traumatized. So when she speaks over him, interrupts Armando and justify it as him being drunk, not knowing what he was doing, depressed, stressed, anguished for the company and exceeding himself with beautifiers, she is trying not to feed her hope. She is trying to remain grounded and safe because unlike with Miguel Betty on her own has discovered who Armando is and decided to fall in love with him. What she feels for his is true and genuine feelings that weren't "forced" or pushed onto her like with Miguel. If she allows herself to believe what he is saying she is allowing herself to fall victim to loves cruelty again.

Armando soberly repeats the same things he had drunkenly told Betty the previous night. That he can't live without her.

"But you haven't lived without me, Sir. I work by your side more than eighteen hours (Girl I would've done killted myself if I had to work beside a man as neurotic as Armando for 18+ hours a day!No matter how good the view is!) a day."

"Yes but now it's different, Beatriz, because I feel these desires[I can't really hear what he said] to caress you, to kiss you." He says leaning forward after touching the side of her face with the back of his fingers, but Betty pulls back and says "No".

As he pulls away Armando studies Betty's face and looks embarrassed as well as confused at Betty's rejection all the while trying to remain composed.

This is when Betty names the list of reasons not to believe Armando is interested in her and Armando gets mad at her.

He openly yells "No,no,no, I'm not confused Beatriz!" he says between clenched teeth and turns to look at her. "I am not. I feel perfectly sure that what I'm saying is the truth."

"Sir, the thing is that it's not possible for you to have taken notice of me."

Angirly now Armando screams at her "But why!"

Why does he react so angrily at Betty for this? For one because he doesn't like for Betty to invalidate his feelings(again this shows he feels comfortable being himself around her) and that she wouldn't believe that he likes her.

I mentioned already that Armando's tone gives us a true understanding of what he's saying and with what intention even when his body language is different. Here he is upset that Betty doesn't believe him and mostly that she doesn't see why he'd be interested in her.

"But why?" he asks more calmly at seeing Betty's reaction.

She nervously begins to explain "Because I know your type really well. You are of fine palate. You like women who are ninety, sixty, ninety, tall, pretty, with class, and-and I don't correlate with any of those characteristics, sir."

"Yes that's true." They both laugh nervously, "Betty, Betty, Betty." He is now trying to find the words to speak. "I love,love, your-your, strength hmm" He nods and here we see him slowly become more honest as he finds the qualities of Betty's that he loves/likes. "I love that energy that I feel when we're together, I love it. I love the way you do things like so sure of it." He smiles and turns to look at her and then tells her. "I also love your softness(tenderness/gentle nature)." he says looking away from her now being shy and then looks back at her and tells her "I love that gift you've got, of managing people. I really love that."(y'all this is why she works 18+ hours with him, I get it).

Again he starts to struggle to find the words but he finds them and unlike the first reason he listed (her strength) he is actually being honest even though he is doing the same gesture(from what I've read often times when you are reading body language you don't just focus on the gesture but overall the entire context; like tone of voice, subject of conversation, speech patterns, ect. We can conclude that Armando is being honest here as it shows a very natural pattern of behavior of his here instead of seeming tense, now he is actively wanting to find the words to speak) "I love your sensibility, man, you've got a very special sensibility." Betty now looks away from him with a slight smile and he seems Contentment with her reaction(Even in the past, before all of this, Armando has always had a face of contentment/joy when he sees Betty smile, especially when he is the one that makes her smile and because of that he kept trying to actively treat her better so that he could be the cause of it; it's a sense of reward really. He did something nice for her and she'd be happy and that would make him happy. A clear demonstration of this is when Armando talks to Betty about her new raise) and he tells her "Betty it's because you're like a little angle to me. Plus I love your personality, what a (the word he uses literally translates to hot or scorching but we'll use another one) welcoming personality and and I love you intelligence. The way you so efficiently do things. It's because I think that any man would find all of that attractive now, don't you think?"

Armando started struggling to consciously find what he likes about her but all of a sudden he can't stop naming them or talking about the things he finds attractive of Betty's. Like a vail has been dropped in his brain all of a sudden>

"Mmm, no." Betty shakes her head in response to his question. "Definitely not, Sir."

"No?" He chuckles nervously "then I don't know what's going on with me then so then I'm going crazy...crazy for you. See I want you to know that since I found out about Nicolas I felt a lot a lot of fear. I felt a lot of anguish and believe me, I felt a lot of anguish but also this desire to caress you and kiss you. " In this sentence we get a shift of tone of voice showing that he shifts from being honest to being manipulative.

"No, no, Sir. What I was only going to tell you is that I don't understand why you feel that about me. I can't find any motive why[you would]."

Armando's tone has now shifted to manipulation, no longer being light hearted and natural.

"This goes to prove that what one feels goes beyond physical appearance, the stereotypical, you understand me?" then again shifts to his natural voice "Betty I know that you've probably thought that the woman of my life has to be a ninety, sixty, ninety, with these marvelous curves, with generous breast, blue eyes, very tall," he says very clearly showing that he likes that and Betty seems down about it until he turns to look at her "like the models, right? But look none of those models have made me happy. I haven't felt for anyone, what I feel for you Beatriz Pinzon Solano." The final sentence he says with conviction. You can't overlook or ignore that as confusion, this shows us that Armando to some degree knows that what he feels for Betty goes beyond anything he's ever felt for anyone.

Now next he closes his eyes to go onto this monologue that beauty isn't what media feeds us but rather something that is deeper than skin. That is it based on the substance of a person, speaking Betty's love ideal here. Why does he have his eyes closed?

He can openly talk about Betty and the wonderful qualities that he finds attractive but he can't openly talk about Betty's physical appearance because up to this point he hasn't accepted or had to face that reality yet.

Betty the whole time is paying attention to what he's saying, his body language. This is why Betty lives sure and convinced of what he is telling her because she's learned to read him like her favorite book and that's the thing.

Betty is very aware of Armando's feelings, boundaries, and flaws. Just like Mario is and we see that in the office when they see each other for the first time after the kiss. Betty inspects his behavior and then decides to act like nothing happened, not only to protect herself but to not make him uncomfortable. The difference however is that while Mario uses his knowledge on Armando to manipulate and force him to do things, Betty doesn't. Betty uses this knowledge to help him and to encourage him in his growth by celebrating his victories and standing beside him when he fails. She doesn't demand for him to change or stop doing what he is, instead she allows him to behave how he does but she isn't shy to show how she feels about it. While Armando isn't so much intune or aware of Betty's feelings because he's so focused on what Betty does for him, however this doesn't dismiss that because of the way Betty loves him, it also inspires him to change and that's really the biggest lesson we get with these two and we're only getting started.

"Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink, sir?"

"I'm sober, Betty, but I'm hallucinating, and that's real." he looks away from her and then back "I'm hallucinating but for you. Of you, Betty." he leans forward. Now the music here gives us the understanding that it is meant to be intriguing(I love the soundtrack so I looked it up and that's legit the title track for this theme) .

Music is a huge part of cinema as it is proven to affect the audience and convey feelings otherwise dismissed. The music creates an air of mystery now because we don't know if what Armando is saying and doing is honest now while in the past we could pick up on it now it's a lot harder to do so.

However one can imagine that while he had his eyes closed he was pictureing Adriana Arboleda sitting in front of him(why else would they show us Mario giving him the picture and telling him to just picture her instead) instead of Betty.

Betty turns to look at the moon after he points it and she smiles.

"Yes the moon is very beautiful. How curious." she speaks as Armando now looks at a picture of AA. "It's the same moon that's inspired so many poets throughout a lot of human history." Here Armando takes in a deep breath is seems to be pumping himself up, he takes off his glasses. Betty is still looking up at the moon and says "There's nothing that inspires more than the moon." Armando sleeks his brows(he wanted to look presentable IG) and agrees with her, now his hand under her chin her turns her around towards him.

"And that's our moon, Beatriz and this is our night." He now leans closer.

Now I see many people point out that Armando's eyes are open when he kisses Betty but this is something he does with Marcela as well which indicates that it isn't based on disgust but mostly guilt.

As they kiss at first his eyes are wide open and then tightly shut(if I'm being honest, as a person who hates romance(ironic huh) I hate with a passion, kissing scenes so this is hard for me to watch lol like I've seen from the nose up, nothing below that so I know how Armando reacts as wella s Betty but the mouth part is the one that grosses me out the most) . Betty takes ina sharp breath and pulls away and now Armando opens his eyes surprised and does the same.

"No, Sir.." Betty is now the one struggling to find words.

"You didn't like it?" He asks but states at the same time.

Betty nods gently, however her eyes are wide. Betty is terrified here and it isn't because Armando is taking advantage here(he's not) it's because she is terrified of all the implications it means. For one she is allowing herself to have hope for a relationship with Armando, for her to show her love to him and for him to love her for it, despite the fact she's "ugly". It means that she is setting herself up for a potential heartbreak that could be the end of her.

"Lets move from here, it's cause my dad peeps out through the windows and he can come and see what's going on and I don't want that."

"Yeah me either."

They move from location and Betty proceeds to speak.

"Sir this isn't correct. I don't know what's going on with you. I'm starting to get worried, Sir. "

"What is it Betty? Is that you suddenly don't feel anything for me?" He tries to stay composed but his micro expression shows worry.

"Of course I do." He looks somewhat relieved while maintaining a poker face. "I admire you a lot. You're a man that's so-so interesting." he smirks and raises an eyebrow showing approval of what she said as well as confident in himself 'Of course you do'.

"I started to feel that you were special for me when you started to defend my work. To value me as a professional." He still seems pleased but not as much. As Betty relays all of this in the professional element(While Armando focused on the person). We know why it was so important to her that Armando did this and why he became special to her for it, however Armando doesn't. "and I realized how important I am for your life.(osea, how important of a role she plays in his life)" Armando now has eyebrows raised and is blinking rapidly. He is really paying attention to what she is saying. and trying to comprehend as well "All of these things attract me from you." she says timidly.

He now has to face this new reality, that though he confessed true attraction based on her person, Betty has only relaid professional or work related qualities that attract her, not him as an individual and why it bothers him.

"That-that's wonderful, Betty."

"But this is crazy, Sir. You have a girlfriend, you're going to get married." He turns from he and opens his mouth slightly in shock and then turns back to look at her. "You can't leave Marcela to start a relationship with me."

He now looks at her with a frustrated expression.

"It would be terrible, your family would not allow it... and what would happen with me? You have to really think this through."

"No, Betty, but of course. It can be crazy, of course. What's happening is that I already... I already experienced something. Yes and I already confirmed that I want to keep living it. Now you're right I can't breakup with Marcela, just like that. The situation with Eco Moda is too difficult to end things with her right this moment, plus my relationship with my family is in crises, I think they wouldn't take the sandal and neither would I but you better than anyone know I don't love Marcela. See if that's the case, what's the fear? Let's continue ahead, Betty. Besides it's about feelings. I have to feel for you, you have to feel for me. We'll see til where we go. Don't you think?" The music theme is titled "secrecy".

"I'm just so afraid, Sir."

"Or is it because you feel more for that sir, Nicolas?" he says with a tinge of jealousy.

"Ay, sir, lets take Nicolas out of this conversation, you want to?"

"Yes clearly, that's what I want. So what then? What's the fear? Huh? You've risked everything for me, see, together we've done a lot crazy things. We've been accomplices in a lot things and now you're going to tell me that you don't have the bravery to live this next to me? Or you don't want to live it, Betty?

"Of course I do, Sir."

"Yes?" He now shifts to kiss her.

After their kiss, after Armando does that disgusted face again, Betty agrees to be his other woman.

His phone starts to ring and Marcela is a very possessive manner tells Armando that she's waiting for him and just wanted to make sure he was going to go over, that she a very delicious dinner for him.

After he hangs up and he agrees to drop her off he tells Betty "You look very precious." And she scoffs in a lighthearted way, finding it funny that he'd say that.

Marcela legit made fun of her and said that she looked worse than she had the day before so it amuses her that Armando would say that.

"One last question, will Mr. Mario Calderon know of this?" she asks as they arrive at the front of her house. "It's just that you both are so trusting of each other, you tell each other everything. I wouldn't want for him nor anyone to know of this, Sir. In some way you have a relationship with Ms. Marcela and by accepting this affair I take on the role of you lover."

"No don't say that." Again this entire things highlights Armando's true nature of his obsessiveness with physical perfection and how it's the only way he can ever be attracted to a woman so he feels grossed out by the idea of having to do anything more than kissing, and lover implies that they do more than kissing. He'd know, he's an expert in the subject.

This is when Armando promises to Betty not to tell Mario about this.

This is his second mistake with Betty.

The first being that he starts his relationship in the bases of lies.

The drop off:

Now as the nights go on there's a change of pace to the drop offs in front of Betty's house.

This first time Betty waves good-bye to him and he repeats to himself he's a piece of ish over and over again, angirly. Duh, he feels guilty.

Betty's dad then opens the door and Armando urgently drives off. Later we see that he does this frequently but slowly he begins to take a while longer before driving off, which demonstrates his longing for Betty.

#analysis of ysblf #armando ysblf #don armando #armando mendoza #betty #beatriz pinzon solano #betty pinzón solano #betty ysblf #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea

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rachelbethhines · 4 years

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Tangled Salt Marathon - Secret of the Sun Drop (Part 1)

Were now at the season finale folks and it’s the beginning of the end. This is the series’ highpoint, it’s all downhill afterwards. However, while this episode is good, it’s still got flaws so let's get to it.

Summary: On Rapunzel's nineteenth birthday, Frederic tightens his grip on the Rapunzel and the kingdom, while Varian makes his move to attack.

More Indication of the Timeline

Remember, Varian said that it would be matter of months until the rocks reached the island in QfaD and today is the day that they reach it. Now Raps is saying that Frederic has been lying to her for months. At least since TWoRR, which makes more sense if you remember that that particular episode was meant to slot between QfaD and this episode.

The show has a bad habit of making the passage of time an important plot point but failing to showcase how much time has past. Showing episodes out of order didn’t help, but even more than that the audience shouldn’t have to rely on one line exposition to gain knowledge of what’s going on. The show fails to use actual visual indicators of what’s going on. There’s little visual change in seasons, next to no change in character models, and all we have are made up holidays to go by.

Also yes, Rapunzel has left a fourteen year old alone for three months. This isn’t something that can be excused. Seriously, stop trying to do so people. It just makes you look bad when you do.

Wow, Way to Victim Blame, Raps.

“Unstable”? We’re seriously going to use ableist terms to describe a grieving young teenager who’s been persecuted and neglected for months on in?

And Rapunzel knows he’s been persecuted and abandoned for months at this point. She’s read the note. She’s been attacked by same the guards that attacked him. She’s heard the rumors. She seen his father’s corpse. She has just admitted in this very spiel that Frederic has been lying. She knows how people are unfairly treated by Corona’s legal system and that ‘treason’ is a death sentence to anyone but herself.

Yet, all she can do here is whine about how all of this only affects her. This entire speech is just me, me, me, and I, I, I. Don’t tell me she’s a kind and compassionate person when her hypocrisy is made into a fundamental plot point for the season’s main conflict.

But let's get to the real reason for this little recap. It’s to create bias in the viewer.

The viewer is aware that Varian might be up to something, but Rapunzel logically, should not be. Varian technically hasn’t done anything wrong yet. The worst he’s done is feed people truth serum, which is no different than Xavier drugging folks with the mood potion. Given how Raps didn’t care about Xavier doing that she shouldn’t care about Varian doing it either, especially since it didn’t physically harm anyone. Also Varian very much is in the right to take the flower and she knows the only thing he’s going to use it for is to free his father and possibly stop the rocks. He’s been very upfront about that.

Also don’t you dare bring up the stupid reprise! Intent isn’t action. You can't condemn people for having negative thoughts. You can only condemn people for acting upon their negative impulses, which, once again, has not happened yet.

Furthermore, Rapunzel isn’t privy to Varian’s innermost thoughts and hasn’t been present for those instances where he did voice negative intent. Ergo, him singing a misplaced reprise does not excuse her behaviour.

The characters in the show treat Varian as a villain before he ever actually becomes a villian, and that’s only because the creator wants you to side with his self-insert instead of actually addressing the moral conundrums that he’s written into the show.

Does Anyone Else Besides Me Find the Glorification of Classism In the Show Disturbing?

So supposedly all of these gifts have been given to Rapunzel by the regular citizenry of Corona. There might be a few from a couple of lower nobles or royals from outside of Corona, but for the most part it’s implied that all of theses presents are from poor people.

Rapunzel is a princess. She’s literally the richest person in the whole kingdom and holds people’s lives in her hands. Giving a thoughtful gift because you like her is one thing, paying tribute to her very existence just because she technically owns you is another.

Keep in mind people have been brainwashed for nearly two decades to worship Rapunzel. They’ve made a holiday out of her birthday. Later on we see the townspeople defend the King even when it’s been proven that he’s done them wrong. They follow Rapunzel blindly through out season three. ect.

The people of Corona are dangerously loyal to feudalism, royalty, and authoritarian rule long past sanity, and given the other authoritarian messages in the show, it takes what is meant to be a sweet scene of a girl who grew up with nothing suddenly gaining acceptance and turns it into a creepy endorsement of the class system.

More Evidence that Frederic is the Worst

This scene makes it clear that Frederic is the one who is threatening Cassandra here, not her dad. It was never Cap who held the convent thing over her head. Now you can hold Cap accountable for choosing loyalty to the crown and his job over his daughter’s well being, but that is one of the few things that is actually addressed in the show, in this very episode in fact, so why would you?

Also, why only now? Frederic has known about Cassandra’s involvement since TWoRR when he first read Rapunzel’s diary. It’s strange he’d go out of his way to silence Varian for months on in but waits until the last episode to persecute Rapunzel’s bestie. You could argue that maybe he didn’t wanna risk tipping off Rapunzel but then why didn’t this happen during TAR instead?

Once again the writer is playing favorites in order to create bias. It’d be suddenly a lot harder to excuse Frederic if he was hunting down Cass along side Varian as she’s a main character and you couldn’t keep that as a ‘read between the lines’ scenario. Which, incidentally, is why we never get a Varian focused episode to show his time on the run. You couldn’t get away with having the main character siding with your dictator self-insert if you actually visually showed him persecuting a helpless child.

Don’t Expect This to Go Anywhere

Rapunzel is rightly angry about this clear abuse, but then never brings it up ever again. It’s completely forgotten about after this point. Frederic is never held accountable for his actions.

This is the Point Where Varian Actually Becomes a Villian

Not the flower, not the truth serum, not the damn reprise, but here. This is the point where his actions cross the line. Violence, particularly violence against people who aren’t currently hurting you, is wrong. Varian is a villain, he does do bad things, and I’m not going to ignore that.

However, knowing where, when, how, and why he becomes a villain is extremely important in not only understanding the story but in also navigating the moral minefield that is this show.

Because Varian is still the victim even as he slides into the role the antagonist. There’s been no change in the power dynamics. His life is still under threat from the king. Every action he takes is a step to either free his father and/or defend himself from a corrupt government that would see him hanged just for daring to defy it’s dictator.

People defend Varian to this day, not because he has a tragic backstory, but because he’s been forced into a dangerous situation with little way out. There’s nothing else he could have done that wouldn’t have lead to his eventual untimely death. Because indirect violence is still violence. Frederic is no less evil just because Varian fights against the king’s indirect violence with direct violence.

Varian’s Life was Forfeit the Moment He was Turned Away During the Storm and This is the Show Confirming That

This is a grown man, with all the power in the world, threatening a child. A child who he has cannonly persecuted for three months before this incident. A child that was neglected by Rapunzel despite him being her responsibility.

Any excuse you give to defend either Frederic or Rapunzel is already made invalid by the simple fact that they are both adults and Varian is not. They are both in charge here, not the fourteen year old.

We do not hold people under legal voting age to the same standards as adults for two simple reasons. One, they are powerless in making the laws that they are accused of breaking, and two, they haven’t reached the point of development where they can take care of themselves and be expected to make rational decisions within a functioning society. Now we could have an argument all day long about the pros and cons of when the rights and responsibilities of adulthood should be granted to people (16?18?21?), but at fourteen/fifteen, Varian isn’t there yet regardless.

You can not in any good moral consciousness hold people lacking rights to the same responsibilities as those with rights.

That isn’t to say that kids can’t do bad things. They obviously can and have before. But when enacting judgement and the punishment that goes along with that, you have to keep their lack of rights in mind and make the sentence proportional to both their age, circumstances, and their crime. This is why courts that try teens as adults are absolutely vile. I do not care what crime they commited, you don’t do that.

I’m not criticizing Rapunzel and Frederic here because I personally dislike them or something. I’m criticizing them because I’m opposed to the messages that they become mouthpieces for. When you defend these two characters you defend their stance to persecute and abuse a child. Ergo, you spout the same authoritarian beliefs that are currently tearing my country apart and I will hold you accountable for it.

Like them all you want, but liking a character does not mean blindly going along with their bullshit.

This Still Abuse

In fact it’s the same abuse that Gothel did to her. It was wrong then and it’s wrong now and there’s no excuse for that.

What a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that you can be both a victim and a bully at the same time. What differentiates Rapunzel, Frederic, and Varian from one other is their level of respective power in the situation and how their trauma actually impacts the rationale behind their actions.

Frederic is the most accountable in this whole conflict because he’s the one with the most power and because his personal trauma isn’t grounds for what he does. They’re a reason that’s been given, but past trauma isn’t an excuse to hurt others who had nothing to do with that trauma. He is, ultimately the instigator of all of the conflicts in season one.

Rapunzel is not as accountable, but she’s not entirely blameless either. As both an adult and a princess, Rapunzel held the power to save Varian and stop things from getting this far and she choose not to do so. Rapunzel’s trauma is a reason for why she fails in her responsibility but it’s still not an excuse as Varian has nothing to do with her personal insecurities. He’s not responsible for getting her to fix her shit and had he done nothing she would have continued on ignoring both his and her own problems. Frederic’s abuse would have still been there with or without the black rocks or Varian’s involvement. She’s not deserving of how her father treats her, but neither is Varian deserving of how she treats him.

Varian is the least accountable. Sure there are somethings that he does wrong, but as a child he holds no power in the situation. His only means of fighting back is his own intelligence, but being the smartest person in the room isn’t necessarily a power imbalance. Also his trauma is currently ongoing and his actions are directly tied into making his abusers stop. Because yeah, both Frederic and Rapunzel are abusive to Varian. Neglect is a form of abuse.

Eugene is the Only Person in this Situation with the Right Response, Shame It Won’t Amount to Anything

After all this, Eugene has no reason to ever trust Frederic again. Neither does Rapunzel, nor the rest of kingdom. He should have been shunned from here on after. This isn’t promoting ‘cancel culture’ or whatever, this is acknowledging that ‘forgiveness’ isn’t and shouldn’t be a shield from the personal consequences for your actions.

But Frederic is the Creator’s Self-Insert and Therein Lies the Problem

I keep calling Frederic the creator’s self-insert not because I’m making assumptions or accusations but because this is something that Chris has admitted to publicly on numerous occasions. If you want a reference than just check out his interview during D23.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ECeflBTS58

There’s also more confirmation on his twitter and in other interviews. Though I’d personally recommend that younger fans stay away from him and his twitter, given his past behavior. (more on this later)

Chris has also publicly made excuses whenever criticism of Frederic has reached him. The same excuses that he then puts into the show itself. That’s why he and the show is so desperate for Varian to be the hated villain instead and goes out of its way to create a bias in how characters and conflicts are presented.

Look, having a self-insert or a character you relate to isn’t in of itself a bad thing. Nor does having such a character mean that you personally avocate all that they do. I mean Varian is my favorite character in the show, partly because I’m a political activist, but that doesn’t mean that I approve of attacking government officials in their homes or something. Yet, if you want to make your self-insert likable to the audience then why on earth would make them an abusive dictator and then never hold them accountable to that?

I cannot say what goes through Chris’s mind nor what his actual beliefs are, but the very fact that show won’t acknowledge corruption for what it is and constantly excuses abusers is worrisome enough on its own. It either means that Chris is woefully incompetent, actually encourages authoritarian thought, or some combination of both. Add in his bullying of younger fans, to the point where his was kicked off the Tangled discord, and what is left is not a flattering picture of the man.

The Show Completely Assassinates Arianna’s Character Here

You’re telling me that the Queen has no power? You’re telling me that the only mother in the show is going to stand aside and do nothing while her only daughter, who has been missing for 18 years, is abused? You’re telling me that Arianna only exists in the story to excuse her husband’s actions? You’re telling me that this ‘strong, independent, badass’ woman you co-opted from the movie is only here to be subservient to a man and you’re going to act like this is a good and noble thing, that it’s ‘true love’? You’re telling me that if she’s not only willing to do this, right now, then she apparently has done it before in his 18 long years reign of terror and oppression?

Fuck whoever wrote this! This is an insulting to women everywhere and a slap in the face to people who were actually victims of abuse.

This is Enabling Abuse, Don’t Do This!

BULLSHIT!!!

This is the line abusers feed their victims all the damn time!!!

The movie smartly made the decision to keep Gothel’s personal feelings towards Rapunzel ambiguous. That’s why she is one of the best villains in Disney history. If we only look at the movie than she may have ‘loved’ Rapunzel too. Who knows? It doesn’t matter.

Abuse Is Abuse Regardless of the Abuser’s Reasons or Personal Feelings Towards Their Victim

Many abusers think that they love their victims. It’s a lie that they sell to both themselves and their victims. But it’s a twisted, toxic, and possessive ‘love’ that doesn’t actually care for and respect it’s recipient. Ergo, not love at all.

There’s not enough words to express my disgust with this exchange. There are children watching this. It’s directed right at them and sadly, yes, there are undoubtedly some watching who are trapped in abusive homes. The show just reinforced the beliefs of those abusers and helped to keep those children trapped in that situation by confirming what they’ve already been taught.

This is beyond irresponsible, and someone higher up should have stepped in before this. It’s clear that this show lacked any sort of real oversight. You have a million dollar series being showrunned by two newbie producers with zero writing credit and no one thought that there should maybe be a senior executive and editor involved?

That’s Not Enough

Admitting that something is wrong, right after excusing it, isn’t enough. You need to show the characters taking action and changing their ways. If Arianna truly believes that this ‘isn’t right’ then why does she not do anything about it after this conversation?

So What Did the King Do to Monty?

He runs off the tell the king the very thing that said king has gone to great lengths to hide and has yet to admit his involvement in. Also Monty doesn’t re-appear until after Varian blows Frederic’s cover. So what happened in between now and then? Did Frederic persecute Monty as well, lie to him, or did Monty not ever reach the King before the scandal was revealed, because any one of those answers would conflict with Monty’s actions later in the story.

Watch as Cass Forgets Her Motivation

We’re at the end of the first season and the audience is only just now getting this important insight into the deuteragonist, a reveal that’ll only be walked back on in later seasons.

If Cassandra’s whole motivation and reasoning is just to earn her father’s approval, which she does gain by the way, then how come she gives a crap about what other people besides him thinks? If being a guard is her true goal then why is she after praise from strangers constantly? You don't get praise from being a guard. It’s a thankless job and she should know that from see what her dad has to do all the time to stay in Frederic’s good graces. Also why not make her dad more central to her arc and resolution, then?

What I’m getting at is that Cassandra isn’t consistent. What she wants changes conveniently to suit the story’s needs rather than being based in any actual logical progression of events. Often flip flopping from one supposed ill-defined goal to another and back again; till in the end she winds up with no goal at all.

Set Yourself Free is the Only Point Where Rapunzel’s Arc Works

This is the only lesson that Rapunzel actually learns. How to be assertive. This is set up, is build up to throughout the season, and then culminates into this climax/reveal. For once there’s an actual resolution here to a previously established problem. A resolution that isn’t then walked back on. Rapunzel remains assertive throughout the narrative and grows no further past this point. There’s nothing else learned, even as she takes this lesson and runs it into the ground by overstepping her bounds and going into full on bully mode in later seasons.

Undermining Tension

I talked about this in What the Hair, but Cassandra conveniently ignoring orders without consequence, or even any real effort on her part, showcases that the convent was never really all that much of a threat as it was built up to be. It goes from being a ‘threat to her safety’, a basic need, to a ‘threat to her sense of belonging’, a psychological need. One is less of an immediate threat to her physical being and ergo holds less tension.

Even Hookfoot Admits He’s Useless to the Story

Look, pointing out the flaws in your story doesn’t make them any less of a flaw. I like Hoofoot, but he adds literally nothing to the series. There’s was no need to include him if you weren’t actually going to tie him to the plot. Just like Monty, Friedborg, Willow, and Axel; Hoofoot is a character who could have been exercised from the show and it wouldn’t have changed much of anything other than to give more screen time to the actual plot and main characters.

And for those who want to come at me for saying they should get rid of the tokenistic disabled rep, just remember there was no reason why Lance couldn’t have served both functions in the story. He could have been both disabled and black, while carrying all of Hookfoot’s episodes and being part of the ongoing plot. Much in the same way that Xavier and Monty should have been streamlined; combining both Lance and Hookfoot into one person would have left us with a more rounded character and a more focused show overall.

Varian Isn’t Lying Here

Look, just cause he’s the villain doesn’t mean he’s exaggerating the truth. Someone on tv tropes tried to claim that Varian was being unreasonable in accusing Frederic of ‘villfing’ him, but uh, no, that’s exactly what the king did. We got the on screen evidence for it back in Quest for Varain. It’s also true that he’s been keeping the rocks secret, lying to the populous, and has thereby endangered many of his citizens.

Cap is the Only Parent on this Show to Get Called Out, Recognize his Failings, and Actively Change His Ways....and the Show Still Messes this up by Having Cass Apologize to Him?

Cap is the best parent in the show, hands down, but that’s a very low bar to clear. What makes him the best parent is that he admits his faults and goes to great lengths to fix them. He never goes back or reverts to old ways and doesn’t offer excuses for his behavior.

But the show seems to think that you should forgive dad’s just because they’re dad’s, not because they’ve actually done anything to earn that forgiveness. That’s why Cass interrupting Cap’s apology to apologize herself doesn’t work here. She, and no other other child on this show, owes him (or any parent) such an apology and Chris can go stick a rusty nail up his butt for ever suggesting otherwise.

Oh, Look, Cassandra Getting What She Wants, Again

What is this? The fifth or sixth time now that Cass has been rewarded by the narrative? Gee, it’s almost like she doesn't really have anything to complain about in seasons two and three.

Varian isn’t Harming ‘Innocents’ Here

Remember when I said that Varian is both the victim and the villian? That’s reflected in who he actually attacks. Arianna, the guards, Cass, Eugene, ect. are all enablers for his abusers. They’ve knowingly chosen to side with a dictator who has repeatedly done unacceptable things. The guards and the main cast at least are very well aware of the truth. As to whether or not Arianna knew of the full details behind Varian’s treatment, she does know about Frederic’s past actions and has excused them for years.

That doesn’t make Varian treatment of her, or others like her, right, but Arianna isn’t blamess either.

If you’re a person with power who is attached to a system of government who goes on to uphold corruption, and remain silent in the face of that corruption, you become a part of the problem. You become the oppressor even if you’re not directly involved in the more violent events yourself or even personally hold the views of the person committing those violent acts.

A queen is responsible for a her people and she abandons that responsibility by staying with Frederic and supporting him.

Turning his Pet into a Mutant Monster is the Only Time Varian Hurts Someone Who Isn’t Involved

As I said, Varian is a villian. I’m not going to act like he doesn’t do bad things or that all of his actions are justifiable. The reason I’ve gone into great detail about Varian’s reasonings into what he does isn’t to excuse his actions; it’s to point out that ‘heroes’ are every bit as much to blame as he is.

Everyone is at fault here; not just Varian, not just the King, not just Rapunzel ect. But the show forces Varian to carry all of the blame regardless. Which is why the show fails. You can’t set up a morally complex situation like this and not follow through on it completely. Failing to do so winds up reflecting poorly upon the writers and those that try to excuse them.

Conclusion

Dang, this took forever. This is why I’m following Disney’s lead and splitting the review into two parts. Come back tomorrow, where hopefully part two will be up.

#Varian #tangled #anti-tangled #anti-rapunzel #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #king frederic #queen arianna #cassandra

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