#the little gay men consume me I swear
Text
all flights are delayed !
"i like to call myself a pretty man connoisseur.."
synopsis: your sad to say it, but you don't have much going on in your life. you have a very time consuming major, just a few friends, barely any time to go out, and spend most of your free time either a: working, or b: sleeping. so for once, when you finally have the friday off, and your dragged off to go watch a football game between a rival school of yours, you really do wish you were anywhere else. somehow though, it turns out to be one of the best things to happen to you, because a charming oreo–haired musical theater major from your rival school just happens to saunter his way into your life, you didn't expect to fall in love in your junior year, but your also not complaining!
pairing: xiao dejun x male!reader
genre: college au, strangers to friends to lovers, musical theater major!xiaojun x health science major!reader, fluff, like the lightest of angst, lowkey fast burn 😖
warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing(?), gay people, a little miscommunication, reader having a crisis over oreo xiaojun, probably a lot of repetitive phrases, huang guanheng is EVERYWHERE
word count: 12.8k
notes: OKAAAAAAAY hello! now in the beginning i really did enjoy writing this but after like the fourth scene its all so disgusting and jumbled up but i am also very proud of myself because this is the longest ever fic i have ever written (it is all xiao dejuns fault), actually it is ALL of nct's fault because why do i have a bunch of 8k word fics of so many nct members..😢 anyway if this seems any rushed or makes absolutely no sense at times its because im tired and i worked extra today but it doesn't really matter because constructive criticism is good (i shouldn't even publish this tbh) but there is a first for everything! enjoy!
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A FOOTBALL FAN. now you know that might be a little of a sour opinion, especially to the men in your family, but it's just never been a sport you enjoy. it is just a little fun to watch, especially when drunk, because the sight of men in tight ass clothes running around a field chasing a ball is possibly one of the funniest things you think your drunk mind has ever seen. which is why now— in the stands, listening to the loud shouts and screams from your schoolmates, and rival scholars, you feel as if your ears have just been popped.
after all the days of working, and doing nothing but schoolwork, you were glad to have the rest of the friday off. there was nothing else you wanted to do but put on an oversized sweater, make a bowl of ramen and rewatch gossip girl for the seventy fifth time already (yes, you keep count), but no— guanheng decided he was going to drag you out of the dorm to watch stupid football game, one about "school spirit" or whatever, you weren't paying attention to him when he decided to go on his ramble, and now he's abandoned you once again! probably off to go talk to one of his 1000 other friends or something.
you almost consider leaving, but then you witness the amount of people you'd have to maneuver through, the amount of excuse me's you'd have to utter, the amount of pushing you'd endure as you tried to make your way through the crowded stands, besides, you can't leave without guanheng, your pretty much the only person responsible for keeping him alive at this point.
so you somehow suck it up and manage to stick around. your ears are practically on fire right now, and you desperately want to take off your shoes because of how they are poking you at the moment. you almost feel like your being pressed together by all the people in the stands, as if walls are slowly pushing in and crushing every single bone in your body.
"that team is doing horribly.." you mutter to yourself in an attempt to calm your crazy mind.
"i know, we suck".
at first you think you've made up the voice, because in the past hour and a half all you've heard is shouting, cheering, and loud music blasting on your ears, no one has made any attempt to talk to you since guanheng up and left you alone in the stands, so the response almost seems like muddled up words created by your brain as a response—
but it's not.
someone actually did respond to you, and in a split second there is a completely new person standing beside you, also observing the game but not looking as pleased to be there. when you do glance to your left, you come across possibly the most beautiful boy— no, person, you come across the most beautiful person you think you've ever seen in your twenty years of living, for once it feels like everything stops.
you are not the kind of person that just.. does that. now you've met tons of pretty people, you've met so many people that you could definitely say are so beautiful they could be displayed in a museum as an art exhibit, but never in your twenty years of living have you ever seen yourself go silent at the sight of a beautiful person— your brain feels like it's malfunctioning, you're not exactly sure what to say, you open your mouth but no words come out, and you almost consider punching yourself because you probably look like a complete idiot right now.
"oh? you don't go here?"
that's what you decided to say? of all things you could've said, of course he doesn't go to your school, he just implied that the other team belonged to his school, why would that be the best thing to say out of everything else?
the stranger looks up, then he laughs, and your not sure how you keep your composure. "oh no, i go to vixsith" he replies, using his thumb to point backward, though he's not pointing at anything in specific, just pointing to point. you're not sure why you pick up on that, or why you're even watching where his hands are going anyway.
"your insulting your own team?" you inquire, and he laughs even harder at your question, covering his mouth with his hand. "this is about school spirit, have faith in them" you joke, and all he does is continue laughing, crossing his arms as he tries his best to calm himself down.
"i'm being honest, the only person on that team who knows how to play is mark, he deserves better" he remarks, eyes focused on the player he just named. he then seems to have a random realization and turns to you once again. "i'm dejun by the way" he holds out his hand for you to take, and you just blink at it like an idiot, before coming back to your senses and quickly shaking his head.
"y/n".
at the sound of your name, he seems to have yet another realization. he points at you and narrows his eyes. "we have a mutual friend don't we?"
at the question, you narrow your eyes, cogs turn in your brain as you think about who he could possibly be referring to, then it comes to you—
"guanheng".
the two of you say his name in unison, and the two of you both try to stifle your laughs as the realization dawns on you. "he knows everyone i swear" you mutter, and dejun snorts, looking away from you to laugh. "even from other schools.."
"oh we go way back" dejun responds, moving his hair out of his face. "middle school actually" he adds, and your eyes widen, as if your shocked, of course guanheng has friends from way back when, why are you surprised?
you don't feel as surprised as you do lucky..
"was he still as inhumanely flexible as he is now?"
dejun laughs again, he does that a lot. "yes, yes he was".
"he talks about you a lot.. you know" dejun comments out of the blue, tucking his hair behind his ear. "he basically lives with us, and if he's not sleeping over we always assume he's with you".
"oh so that's why he always just.. appears and disappears.."
"yeah that's kind of his thing" dejun scrunches his face, looking bored by the lack of action happening on the field. "i can never find him unless he directly comes to me first" he doesn't look at you as he says those words, but you're very much staring at him the whole time.
you almost feel like a creep in a way, you want to punch yourself in the face again for continuing to stare at him. you blink a couple times before turning your face away, trying to correctly articulate your thoughts.
"both teams suck".
you only say those words because you want him to continue talking, you want to hear him talk, it's nothing that crazy, having a conversation with him is just so intriguing to you for some reason..
"well yeah— but you guys get more training so you have an advantage" he comments, narrowing his eyes at the field, arms crossed over his chest. "the guys on our team have no idea what their doing".
"do you like football?" you ask, not sure why your so interested in his answer, you just are, you have no explanation for your sudden intrigue of this charming oreo–haired boy that goes to your rival school.
your much too distracted by how gorgeous he is to worry about giving yourself an explanation.
dejun laughs again, shaking his head. "not really, my dad does, so i just know things because of all his screaming and shouting" he replies, arms still crossed over his chest. "i'm not really a sports person, i do musical theater for pete's sake".
"oh so you sing?" you don't mean to ask another question, you're worried that you might be bothering dejun with your constant inquiries, but he actually seems glad, excited that someone is asking him about his major.
"well yeah" he responds, his smile growing. "all things theater, i write the songs, i act the parts, i play instruments, sometimes i even take offstage roles instead of my usual onstage ones".
he fiddles with his fingers, picking his nails. you assume, from his mannerisms, that he doesn't know what to say because most people don't really ask him about his major, or what he does, it's like he's elated that you even asked him.
"what about you?" dejun instead asks, veering away from the topic of his major and instead making yours the main topic of discussion. "what do you do?"
"health science" you say the words as if it pains you to, like it's the single most uninteresting thing you've said this whole interaction. "i know, it's boring".
dejun laughs again; "no no! i didn't say that!" he waves his hands in a disagreeing manner as he chuckles at your words. "i just don't meet a lot of people interested in pursuing science.."
"it's more of the health aspect than science actually" you mutter, and dejun just looks even more interested in what you have to say now. "but science is a big part of it so.."
"you must be very smart then" dejun remarks, smiling as the two of you make eye contact.
"i'm alright" you just say, finally pulling down your formerly rolled up sweater sleeves now that the air outside has begun cooling down. you only lightly shiver, and you glance back at dejun one more time..
"where do you think guanheng is?" he asks, clearing his throat as he scours the still full and lively bleachers, searching for your friend. "off doing whatever he does.."
you're currently very distracted, and you don't even realize what's going on when you snap out of whatever daze you were having and everyone is suddenly standing up and cheering like there's no tomorrow.
dejun looks over at you, and he can clearly see how confused you are because he laughs for one last time. "you guys won!" he somehow manages his voice over the roar of the crowd. "congrats!"
he's yelling, but he's not exactly loud, he still manages to sound so gentle whilst yelling at you.
"thanks!" you blurt out as a reply, and you feel like a complete idiot for that, but dejun smiles, so you don't feel all that embarrassed.
the game is over, and people are going to start to leave soon. dejun looks back, spotting a group he recognizes, then he looks over at you, a smile on his face. "i've gotta go now" he says, almost disappointed in a sense. "it was nice meeting you y/n!"
you nod, not knowing what to say. "yeah! you too!"
you too? you too?? is that what you say y/n!?
dejun gives one more beautiful smile before heading off, and you blink, having absolutely no idea what just transpired in those few minutes.
holy shit i forgot to ask—
but you couldn't— because he was gone, gone in such a flash you couldn't even spot his oreo hair in the crowd.
YOU FORGOT TO ASK FOR HIS NUMBER. YOU FEEL SO STUPID, your not even sure why you wanted to ask him that, but in the back of your mind that was the question you were preparing yourself to ask from the moment he told you his name, that he was friends with guanheng, the moment the two of you began laughing about your majors and stuff like that. the whole interaction with a pretty oreo–haired musical theater major at a football game is all that you were thinking about last night, as you tried to find pretty much anything else to think about as you struggled to sleep.
how did you forget to ask him for his number? you want to smash your face into your computer screen because of how stupid you are. you said "you too!" like a fucking idiot, but maybe you were just too distracted, he was smiling at you with that beautiful smile and staring at you with his absolutely gorgeous fucking eyes, how could you even think coherently whilst a beautiful man (from a whole other school but who cares?) was staring at you with his pretty brown eyes like you were the only person in the world?
okay your pushing it now..
but there is just something, something about him that drew you in, your not sure why you were so adamant on getting to know him, but he was just so— you can't explain it right now! you are currently very sleep deprived and also moody because of your disappearing roommate that always decides to appear at the worst times.
you don't remember the last time you ever got an actual eight hours of sleep, these days that seems like a dream more than a reality, but guangheng is just never tired. he's somehow always up, doing something, hanging out with people, he never sits down in once place and just stays still.
when he walks into the room, hands on his hips and gaze immediately focused on you, you barely bat an eye at him, just spare him a quick glance, noticing how pissed off he looks. you scour your mind for an explanation as to why he must be mad now, probably something someone said, or he got into yet another argument with one of his classmates, your not even sure anymore, you don't know where he is half the time.
"could you do me a favor?"
you almost laugh out loud, not at him, but at the idea that he wanted you to do him a favor. at this point, he probably owes you thousands of favors considering how many you do for him, but he seems upset, and you don't have any of that pettiness leftover to ignore him, so you move your eyes to look over at him.
"why should i?"
okay— you lied, your still just a little petty, but you totally have every right to be! guanheng deserves just some sass from you after disappearing each and every time he decides to take you out somewhere.
guanheng blinks, then he pulls out the signature guanheng frown, a sad stupid frown he always makes when he wants to persuade you into doing something. you're not sure how you've even ever fallen for that signature frown, maybe it's because he's just so great at looking sad, at looking upset, he somehow always manages to make you feel bad for him, and therefore, end up doing the favor for him.
"because i'm your best friend, your roommate, and you love me so much" guanheng smiles wide, like he just found out he won the lottery, and clasps his hands together as he rocks back and forth on his heels.
"i don't know.." you mumble, looking back at your computer screen. it's a saturday, you have no classes saturday, you can just sit down, relax, be the absolute lazy motherfucker you were put on this earth to be. "i don't feel like going out today".
guanheng huffs, crossing his arms. "one last favor! just one! then i'll get off your back!"
"your horrible at following your promises, heng" you comment absentmindedly, your tone is much meaner than you intended, and guanheng's gasp is enough to tell you that he indeed takes offense to those words. "what? i'm not lying".
"y/n!" oh great, he's whining now. "i will get you anything i can, anything! just this one favor! please?"
your about to say no again— but then it's like a lightbulb goes off in your head, and you get a spectacular idea. anything? he did say anything, and he can give you something you want.
the number of a pretty boy preferably!
you let out a sigh, and guanheng knows what that sigh means, it means you agree. "fine, i'll do you this favor, but this is the last one".
guanheng's smile brightens, and he cheers like a kid that just got the best christmas present one can receive. "thank you! thank you! thank you! i love you!" he kisses your cheek, and skips off to another room.
"get your jacket!" he shouts, already rooms away from you, so he has to shout.
"what?"
"get your jacket! were leaving!"
you furrow your eyebrows at his words, but you don't say anymore, because you did agree to do this favor for him after all.
so, without questioning it more, you get up and go grab your jacket.
"SO WHEN YOU SAID A FAVOR..?" you don't continue on with your sentence, pausing to let out a breath as you shove your hands into the pockets of your jackets. guanheng looks over at you, and he just chuckles at the unreadable expression on your face. when you agreed to do this favor for him, you didn't know it included leaving your dorm and having to be dragged out to yet another unfamiliar place. "did you forget to mention the fact that we'd have to leave the school?" you finally finish, eyes focused and narrowed on your friend, who again, smiles at you with that signature guanheng smile.
"it's a saturday, most of us don't have classes anyway, they won't question it".
"is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask to yourself more than to guanheng, but he hears you anyway, and that results in a snicker from him. despite that, he doesn't respond to your silent question, making you frown just the slightest.
"stop pouting".
"i'm not pouting" your quick to rebut, rolling your eyes at his words. you almost bump into him when he suddenly stops, and your about to yell at him again for being stupid when he places a finger on your mouth.
he knocks on the door in front of him, not paying attention to the burning glare your currently sending him.
"i'll bite off your finger" you threaten, moving forward and pretending your about to do that. guanheng squeaks and quickly moves his fingers away from your lips, a flash of true fear in his eyes. all you do is give him a menacing and totally not threatening smile.
"psycho.." he whispers, he looks like he's about to say more, but the door opens, so he closes his mouth and turns around.
"come on!"
he grabs your wrist and drags you into the dorm, and you felt your heart rate increase. maybe he knew these people, but you sure didn't! what if they thought you were weird? you want to pull him back and tell him that he shouldn't just drag you into some strangers dorm, but he is much too distracted to even notice your uneasiness.
"i've returned!" guanheng yells, letting go of your hand to place his hands on his hips, as if he was proud of himself.
"can you slam the door on him!?"
"ten! come to me!"
before you can ask him what the hell is going on, he sprints down the hallway, you assume to go after this ten person, you just blink, shoving your hands into your pockets as you begin to rock back and forth on your heels.
"hello stranger!" an unfamiliar voice exclaims, you look up and come face to face with a pink–haired boy with a bright smile.
"hello" you reply politely. "i like your hair" you immediately remark, pointing at his hair like an idiot because you don't want to touch it and make him uncomfortable.
his face lights up, as if you were a millionaire that just gifted him a life changing amount of money. it was as if no one ever told him that his hair was pretty before, or that they liked it. he jumps up and squeals, excited. "thank you! ten said it was stupid!"
you furrow your eyebrows, then chuckle. "what? no it's very pretty, pink suits you!"
"hah! i told you guanheng! pink does suit me!" he yells down the hall, and you can hear the small shout of rebuttal that guanheng responds with from all the way down the hall. "thanks! only a few people actually noticed that i dyed my hair".
you laugh again, okay he is very funny, you like him!
"oh! i'm yangyang! the nicest person who lives here!" he introduces himself in the same fashion a reality tv star would, and quickly grabs your hand to shake it. you don't complain, just laugh again as he vigorously shakes your hand.
"y/n, it's nice to meet you".
he gasps, recognizing your name. "oh you're the famous y/n! guanheng always talks about you, for a long time i was convinced he was in love with you!"
"why are you tarnishing my brand!?" guanheng shouts again, sounding even more pissed off than he did before. "huh!? liu yangyang!?"
yangyang shakes his head, ignoring guanheng's loud shouts and flapping his hand, mocking him. you laugh as you watch him mock the other, who has absolutely no idea what he's doing right now.
"you have a project to do!" another unfamiliar voice shouts.
yangyang gasps again, suddenly looking stressed. "fuck yeah— um!" he turns around and reaches over to grab his laptop, then he turns back to you and gives you a smile.
"yeah, my apologies" you just wave it off, urging him to keep going. "um i'm doing a project where i have to interview people on their majors.. trust me i don't know either, but! i've interviewed like the whole school already, and i need one more person.."
"and that person is me?" you ask, but you already know the answer to that question, yangyang nods, much more quickly than he seemed to intend to.
"yes!" he exclaims, but then he clears his throat. "but only if you want to, i don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do—"
"no no no it's fine!" you cut into his sentence, shaking your head. yangyang, again, looks elated that you agreed.
okay so this was the favor guanheng wanted you to for him! (not for him necessarily— but his friend). he could've just told you about this straight up instead of being vague about it, it wasn't even that burdening of a favor, not like the other ones you've done for him.
"guanheng! why don't you bring him around more often? he's better than you are!" yangyang yells again, probably for the nth time that hour.
guanheng doesn't answer, but you knows he's pouting, you can just sense it at this point, you call it your "roommate instincts".
"oh hi y/n".
now that's a voice you recognize, and you almost don't believe your eyes when the one person that kept you up all night walks into the room and smiles as he sees your figure. "dejun, hi" you smile back at him, hoping you don't sound as awkward as you feel.
dejun looks so so pretty, as he always does. he fiddles with the necklace hanging around his neck, his eyes lingering on you for an unspecified amount of time.
"ten hit me with his shoe" guanheng suddenly storms into the room, arms crossed over his chest. "asshole.." he mutters under his breath, huffing like some sort of baby.
dejun then laughs, covering his mouth with his hand, and that causes you to laugh, turning your head to the side as to not make it obvious.
guanheng exchanges glances between the both of you, a prominent glare in his eyes, but then the look in his eyes changes, and he points at the two of you. "you two have met?" he asks.
dejun pauses, still humored by the previous words said by guanheng, and your brain almost malfunctions once again. "i— um" great, you just sound so natural and not awkward.
"we met at the game" dejun immediately says, saving you the awkwardness of having to collect your words in your brain. you thank whatever god or deity up there for dejun's quick response, and he just flashes you that familiar pretty smile. "yesterday, you know, while you were off doing who knows what.."
guanheng gasps, looking at dejun like he'd just cursed his entire bloodline. "you— your just such a bitch! you know!?"
"ow! don't punch me! i'm fragile!"
guanheng lands one more punch on his shoulder, and it gets one more squeak out of dejun, who jumps once again. "i don't care, your horrible".
yangyang blinks, probably already used to their little quarrels. he then turns to you, just shaking his head as they continue to whisper–argue. "so, what do you major in?"
it's almost like you totally forgot, his project, the thing that guanheng dragged you here to help him with. "health sciences, i take courses in everything related to healthcare and like— half actual science courses?"
"so your looking to work in healthcare?"
"yeah basically, i've already taken courses in emergency service's, becoming a paramedic is my top option!"
yangyang gasps at your words, he looks over at guanheng, then quickly back at you. "are you single?" he asks, again with the same quickness.
dejun snorts, hitting guanheng as begins laughing hard. guanheng scrunches his nose, staring at yangyang like he's crazy. "what kind of question is that!?"
"what? that is a totally valid question to ask!" he exclaims, crossing his arms. "it's for my project! clearly!" he lies.
"your— oh my god, unbelievable".
"so are you?" yangyang asks again, looking at you with suspenseful eyes. he is very much interested in your answer it seems.
your finally finished with your laughing fit, and nod, still very amused. "yes i am, i'm single".
"good, this is very important information".
yangyang gives you a giddy look, and dejun just continues to laugh.
you're not sure why your so focused on him though..
YOU AGAIN, HAVE NO LUCK SLEEPING that night, and after the first hour and a half of tossing and turning, you gave up on trying to chase slumber you knew you wouldn't be able to catch. you assumed that the longer you stared at your computer screen, the quicker you'd get tired and the quicker your eyes would become heavier, but no! it's now almost two in the morning and you still aren't sleepy in the tiniest bit, you didn't know insomnia got this bad, if you knew this prior to coming back to school this year, you would've bought more of those sleeping pills. you lean your chin onto your hand as your computer continues playing audio from a random episode of brooklyn nine–nine.
the millions of thoughts rampant in your mind were probably distracting you, rendering it impossible to sleep, and also rendering it impossible to focus, seeing as your just looking around your room, which is pretty much boring you considering all you've been doing for the past thirty minutes is looking around your own room.
you think your gonna bore yourself to death, you pretty much prepare to stay up for the next five hours until your alarm rings and startles you out of your daze (which has happened way too many times for your comfort), but then your phone rings.
it's almost two in the morning, who exactly is calling you at this time? who knows that you're awake at 1:56 in the morning and decided to call you? they probably knew you'd pick up..
and you know who it is— it's so obvious.
dejun.
you don't mean to pick up your ringing phone as fast as you do, you want to punch yourself in the face for how desperate you seem, and you almost don't answer the phone because you feel so embarrassed. "hello?"
"hi!" dejun sounds way too joyous for someone who is sleep deprived, and up at 1:57 am. "sorry? was that too loud?"
"no no your fine" you reply, even though the speaker is on, guanheng can quite literally sleep through anything, there was one time the fire alarm was going off for a good ten minutes and he didn't even budge. "guanheng is a pretty heavy sleeper".
"he's lucky, i can't sleep" the sound of shuffling on the other line resonates in your ears, and dejun huffs, sounding frustrated. "you were the only person i assumed would be awake".
you snicker. "why is that?" you inquire, he was right, of course, but you just wanted to hear his reasoning, and also wanted him to keep talking.
you really like dejun's voice for some reason, it just scratches the right part of your brain. in these past two days you realized that you like a lot of things about dejun, many more things than you thought you might.
"your major has the word 'science' in it so i just assumed the amount of sleep you get is slim to none".
now that gets another laugh out of you, you laugh much more than you intend to, but also— it's dejun, and you can't resist the loud laugh that escapes your lips.
oh your such a desperate little bitch—
"well you'd be correct" you respond, humming as you pick at your nails. "at this point sleeping is beginning to make me tired".
there's a long pause, and your worried you made everything more awkward, because you don't hear anything from the other line. for a moment, you're almost convinced dejun hung up on you, but before you can speak he beats you to it.
"i can keep you company until you get tired" he immediately suggests, and you almost choke on your spit when he says that. "i don't mind".
you go silent, feeling as if all logical thoughts in your mind have suddenly disappeared into the air. you might sound like a complete loser right now but that was just so sweet of him to suggest, you smile much too wide for your own comfort, but you don't even think about that, because your just so charmed by the words.
"you are.." you pause, clasping your hands together as you think about what words to say next. "yeah yeah, that's fine" you finally continue, your new words having no connection to the previous ones you previously said, you just hope dejun doesn't notice.
"good! it would've been awkward if you said no" dejun giggles, and you just can't get over how cute he sounds. "plus, i wouldn't want you to be tired in the morning, lord knows how much you do in a day.."
you feel an unfamiliar fluttering feeling in your stomach, because he is so considerate? he wants to help you, he's just being so nice to you at.. two! two in the morning! you bite down on your bottom lip, hoping it doesn't bleed from how hard your tooth drives into it.
"aww, you care about me that much?" you ask, just wanting to hear him talk again. you feel like a teenage girl giggling and kicking her feet over a high school crush, except you can't kick your feet and giggle because then dejun would know.
"okay, be quiet, don't make me hang up".
"okay okay don't do that!" you say, totally meaning to sound as desperate as possible this time. "if your not here i won't ever fall asleep".
you hear something similar to a squeal on the other line, as if dejun had heard your words and just freaked out.
the realization honestly boosted your ego.
"you— you suck!"
"you offered to help me jun, don't get like this now!"
you're not sure how long it goes on for, but you swear you two laugh all night while on the phone.
"SO WHOSE THE GUY?" the question is asked so abruptly that at first, you assume you heard your friend wrong. when you look up, he stares at you with that deadpanned gaze, and that's when you realize he's completely serious. you chuckle at the realization that your friend is sure that your in love with someone (well you are— your just surprised that he figured out so quickly). "what guy? there's a guy?" you tilt your head, acting as if you have no idea what he could possibly be talking about. you giggle as you watch him slowly get even more irritated by your answer.
"you always come in here looking a little less miserable each day" chenle observes, leaning forward as he narrows his eyes at you. "someone is making you excited to live life?"
"do i always come in here looking miserable?" you ask, completely diverting your attention from chenle's previously asked question, which makes him pout.
"yep!" renjun exclaims, sitting beside you, he crosses his legs in his chair and presses his lips into a thin line. "so! who is he?"
the two seem way too excited to know about your never talked about before crush on dejun. now— you didn't know it was so obvious that you were now smitten for this new guy, you're usually the friend that's known from straying the furthest away from love, you don't remember any people you've legitimately liked that weren't elementary school crushes..
so yeah, your friends totally had every right to be surprised, because your absolutely smitten for a man and they just want to know who this man that is making you so happy is!
you hate that you give in so easily. "he's one of guanheng's friends.." you mutter, picking at your nails, looking down to make sure you don't witness renjun and chenle's reactions with your own two eyes.
renjun gasps, sounding like those ladies at the hair salons that just heard the juiciest gossip. "ooh! who? does he go here? do we know him? is he pretty?"
chenle looks over at renjun like he's crazy, that familiar judging stare in his eyes as he watches renjun lean closer to you with a totally not creepy smile on his face. "don't you think your acting a little too interested in this?"
"i just want to know!" renjun shouts, playfully glaring at the younger. he then turns back to you, and you assume his cheeks must be hurting from how hard he seems to be smiling. "tell me please?"
"he's— he's just your run of the mill pretty guy who is nice, and smart, and absolutely adorable who tells horrible jokes that still end up being funny in some way and he has a pretty laugh and i just love his voice, and talking to him, and, i can't even explain it because it'll sound stupid!"
"you sound like a psycho" chenle immediately says, laughing at you like you just confessed to an atrocious crime against humanity. you sink into your chair, slumping towards the side.
"aww! the pessimistic y/n is in love!" renjun squeals, again, like those women at the hair salon who just heard the juiciest gossip. he grabs your arm and shakes you vigorously, causing you to get dizzy in the slightest bit. "i can't believe i've lived to see this day!" he shouts, continuing to shake you as you can't properly get out your cries for help.
"renjun you're gonna kill him" chenle pinches the older in the arm, making him yelp and jump, he giggles as he witnesses the glare the older male sends him, his crushing grip remains around your arm, but you don't even mention at this point, because at least he's not shaking you anymore.
"sorry" he remarks, definitely not sorry as he squeezes your arm once again, beginning to get overly excited. "it's just.. exciting you know?"
"it's exciting that i'm in love with someone?" you raise an eyebrow, and though you expect renjun to respond, chenle quickly does.
"yep! you'll finally be gone!"
his cheer results in a gasp of offense from you, and all chenle does is giggle in victory.
THE ONE THING YOU'VE LEARNED FROM THE now excessive amounts of times you've hung around guanheng's other friends is that they're loud, they are all really loud (even sicheng! who, for a good majority of the time, is always quietly staring at his friends with clear concern in his eyes), even if they don't mean to, they're somehow always either yelling, shouting, or making some sort of scene. they're all just naturally hilarious, like comedians that don't realize they're comedians because they're just being themselves. in the past few weeks, it's like you spend more time with these people that don't go to your school in comparison to people that actually go to your school and that you can see easily.
but if you're being honest, you don't really mind that your spending all your free time with them, because they are indeed very fun to be around (and you get to see dejun much more regularly, which is something you rather enjoy), and because life would be insanely boring if guanheng didn't decide to drag you out of the dorm every other day to go do stupid things with his friends that go to a whole other school.
"you are such a cheater! i won fair and square!"
"you did not! your the cheater! sicheng is my witness!"
sicheng, who was not listening to anything either ten or yangyang had to say, looked over at the younger with a look of concern washed over his features. he blinks as he's suddenly put on the spot, smiling nervously as the youngest stares intensely at him, waiting for his answer. "uh.. i— i don't know".
his delivery makes you burst out laughing, and you cover your mouth with your hand as to not make yourself look like an absolute fool. you don't even realize that you picked up on one of dejun's habits, you might be spending too much time around him..
actually, forget that! there is no such thing as spending too much time around dejun, and that might make you sound like a "simp" but you don't care.
you've fallen, and you've fallen hard.
"okay.." guanheng presses his lips into a thin line, ignoring the way ten and yangyang now begin discussing the logistics of cheating in card games, unfortunately dragging poor sicheng into their argument. he turns to dejun and scoots closer to him. "can you do me a favor?"
dejun groans, playfully rolling his eyes. you assume he's done as much favors for guanheng as you have, and you barely stifle the snicker that dares to escape your lips.
dejun hears the sound, and smacks your arm hard, making you jump. he only gives you a teasing smile before turning to guanheng, having to give him a response.
"at what lengths do i have to go for this favor?"
guanheng scoffs, crossing his arms. "it's nothing insane or anything, i just want you to get me something.."
"and you can't get it yourself because..?"
"i have no money on me" and there goes that signature guanheng frown, dejun opens his mouth to argue but then he shuts it so quickly it seems like he just got out in some sort of trance.
"fine fine" dejun rolls his eyes once again, surrendering much too quickly. "you owe me though—"
"take y/n with you".
there's a pause, both you and dejun go very silent for a moment. whilst dejun is just confused, you absolutely know what guanheng is doing, and you have to use every bit of patience in your body to restrain yourself instead of jumping over the table and tackling him right then and there.
dejun is clearly clueless, though, because he just raises an eyebrow. "why?" he inquires, somehow sounding so sweet even though his question is asked with so much confusion.
"y/n knows what i want".
what a smooth lie, dejun glances over at you, and you just shrug, having no idea what more to say. "he needs to take a walk anyway" guanheng lies again, wow, two in a row! he's on a roll.
"okay..?"
so that's how you find yourself on a walk with the person that you are very much in love with, a somehow comfortable silence spread between the two of you as dejun hums an unfamiliar tune to himself, hands in his pockets, eyes closed as he slowly sways back and forth.
he looks very peaceful, just doing what he does, being effortlessly pretty as he does so, and you observe his behavior, almost entranced by it in a sense.
you only stop when he speaks up—
"do you think they're still arguing?" he suddenly asks, and you snap out of whatever daze you were having, praying that he totally didn't notice you admiring him like a creep. "or are they just.. conversing calmly now?"
you don't want to seem like even much more of a weirdo, but you feel like he asked that question just as an excuse to talk to you, and maybe your thinking too much into it, but you've definitely done that before, so you know what it looks like.
"i hope they aren't still arguing" you answer, and dejun looks up at you, smiling. "that'd be a long ass time to argue".
"well they like arguing just to argue" dejun replies, fiddling with his necklace. "but they're harmless.. for the most part".
his delivery makes you laugh, and you look down at your shoes. "you're a very calm person, you know, the opposite of guanheng".
the sudden statement from dejun makes you look up at him once again, and this time, he's staring directly at you, as if he had been waiting to make eye contact with you the whole time. "calm?"
"well compared to my roommates you are" he giggles, and maybe he doesn't mean to, but he stares at so intensely that your legs feel shaky.
"who knows? maybe i'm a fraud" you tease, purposefully leaning closer to him so your words have an effect. dejun's eyes widen, and he lightly leans away from you, looking speechless. "you'd never know, though".
you don't know how you suddenly got so bold, or why you were so amused at the sight of dejun freaking out, you feel like some sort of genius for what you just did, and you snicker at yourself before leaning back.
dejun takes in a deep breath, looking like he's trying to fix himself. he clears his throat and stumbles through his next words. "i— uh.. you're such an idiot!" he decides to say, crossing his arms over his chest.
your not sure how the two of you became so casual in this amount of time, a few weeks ago, dejun wasn't such a regular figure in your life, and you were just any other college student doing their best to get by, not thinking about falling in love with a gorgeous oreo–haired man—
but you're also not complaining.
you aren't sure how you got so lucky, how it just happened that you could continue to spend time with the cute boy you met at a stupid football game simply because the two of you shared mutual friends, it's one of times guanheng's actually done you a favor, without even realizing it too!
"okay i'm sorry" you giggle, shoving your hands into your pockets, you once again begin taking from dejun's habits and sway back and forth. "seriously!"
"you're unbelievable" dejun exaggerates, rolling his eyes, but it wasn't serious, and you knew it wasn't serious. "but i meant what i said, your calm".
you raise an eyebrow at him, wanting to know more about the observations he has about you. "could you elaborate on that?" you don't mean to laugh, but you do, and it causes dejun to laugh too.
"you just.. seem content with what you have" he explains, but he doesn't explain it enough, so he continues. "like someone could get you a piece of paper as a birthday gift and you'd be pleased".
you laugh, hard, because he somehow managed to get you spot on. you almost feel like he is reading your mind, because he nailed you down with each word. "really? i guess i am like that".
"ah, so my prediction was right then!"
you laugh at how glad he is. "yeah, i am truly not that hard to please, gifts are gifts and if someone gets one for me, there's no use in being mad if the gift isn't something i like, at least they remembered to get me something!"
dejun stares at you for a specifically long time, looking you up and down. he stares at you with warm eyes, a gaze that seems so near and dear to his heart, a gaze so loving that it looked like he was about to get down on one knee and propose to you.
"i like any and all gifts" you continue.
"are there any specific kinds of gifts you like?"
dejun asks that question in a tone that makes it seem like he's totally not trying to sound suspicious, but he is totally asking you that question for a very specific reason.
guanheng must've told him something..
at least, that's what you assume, but dejun is patiently waiting for your answer, and you can't daydream the whole time about the true meaning of his words.
"i like books, plushies, music tapes, vinyl's, you know.. regular gifts that people like receiving".
dejun hums, as if he's noting down the information you're telling him in his mind, still, you don't say anything about his mannerisms, just keep it to yourself.
"are you noting down my reply?"
"i'm just keeping it in mind!" he says, smiling brightly at you. "just in case your special occasion comes up and i don't know what to get you".
oh! so guanheng definitely did tell him something..
"i mean— were friends! any gift from you will be a good gift".
at the word friends, dejun seems to pause, cogs in his brains turning as he tries to process your words. you don't understand why he would be trying to understand your words, because the two of you were clearly friends, did he think you two were something else?
you see the flash of disappointment on his face, but it quickly reverts back to a smile and he simply acts like nothing happened. "sorry, the word 'friends' just caught me off guard".
a lie..
how interesting.
"seriously though, i just want to get you a gift you'll appreciate forever".
but you're already enough for me— do you know how much you've changed my life?
your own thoughts manage to surprise you, because the words that you just told yourself in your own mind startle you enough that you make a judging face at yourself. luckily, dejun is turned away from you, so he doesn't notice.
"well that's thoughtful of you".
"i try my best.." he responds, finally looking back at you with that same loving stare, one that wants to lure you in and make you trip on your own feet.
for some reason, the two of you stop. there's an uncharacteristically long pause, like the world just decided to cease for a moment, and you both are completely stuck in place, just there, staring at each other.
dejun's eyes move, as if scanning your face like a camera, and they (of course) stop at your lips. he stares at them for what seems like forever, and it almost looks like he's restraining himself, but by the way he bites his bottom lip, it's clear—
he wants to kiss you.
and maybe there's a small voice at the back of his head that tells him to cut it out, because he almost immediately snaps out of whatever daze he was having, and clears his throat, his cheeks going a bright red.
"uh— sorry, yeah, um, we should get going" he says, shaking his head as he pulls his sleeves down.
"guanheng will yell at us if we're late".
okay, so he just decides to not talk about it? you want to ask him why he didn't just do it, because he clearly wanted to, but before you can even open your mouth, or get any words out, he grabs your hand and the two of you continue walking back to the group.
he doesn't say anything more, doesn't try to make anymore small talk, and while you do want to bring up what just happened there, you don't.
you just bask in the feeling of dejun's hands intertwined with your own.
it's a good feeling, you decide.
THAT MOMENT IS STUCK ON YOUR MIND for what seems like years. you can't get over it! how he was looking at you, how he clearly wanted to kiss you, but for some reason, decided to stop himself from doing so. you're not sure why you didn't just tell him that it was okay, that you would be completely fine with him kissing you, but you guess that you're just a complete idiot as well, because you just stayed silent throughout the whole thing, the two of you equally deciding in silence to not bring it up, just sitting next to each other in awkwardly for the rest of the night.
and yeah, it's become normal for dejun to constantly run through your mind these days, it's like he has his own subsection in your mind, dedicated to thoughts about him and him only, but it's like he's just become rampant in there ever since that.. thing he did (or should you say, didn't do, considering he decided to not kiss you when the opportunity was right there), maybe you should've pulled him in, maybe you should've (for once) been impulsive and done the first thing put to your mind.
and this crawls through your mind for days, then those days become a good week and a half. now— you and dejun aren't not talking or anything, it was just sort of difficult to look at him without thinking about that.
you're so into your thoughts these days, that you are much more spacey during your classes, at home, and somehow, guanheng picks up on your weird turn, which is crazy, because guanheng was the last person you expected to notice something like that, he usually never notices most things in front of him anyway.
"okay, what the fuck happened?" he decides to randomly drop it on you when he seems to have had enough, which is funny, because he's technically the person that started the whole thing.
you look up from your phone, blinking at him like he just said something out of this world. "hm?" he scoffs at your lack of a response, shoving your shoulder, which results in a glare from you.
"what happened?" he asks again, this time without the extra swear word, he makes himself comfortable on the other side of the couch. "you are acting weird" he points at you accusingly, like you'd just been accused of a crime and he was trying to figure out if you were truly suspicious.
"i don't know what your talking about.."
"stop stalling!" he complains, grabbing your arm and beginning to shake you back and forth. "tell me! you can't keep acting weird and just not tell me what's wrong".
now you want to tell him, but in your mind it sounds so stupid that you feel like guanheng would laugh at you the moment you uttered the first few words of your sentence. "you're going to laugh".
guanheng gasps, offended by your response, though it is true, he just wants to be dramatic. "i won't! i'm concerned! i'm being a good roommate and asking you what's wrong!"
so, you roll your eyes, taking a deep breath. "okay so hypothetically.." you begin, because you have no other idea how to start your sentence.
hypothetically just means = it was indeed not hypothetical!
"hypothetically, uh huh.." guanheng hums, understanding the true meaning your words have. "okay sorry, continue".
"let's just say that, hypothetically, i am totally in love with one of your best friends, and that friend totally wanted to kiss me but then chickened out last minute and like an idiot i didn't say anything and i have no idea how to go about it".
guanheng's eyes widen at your words, and his jaw almost drops. "hypothetically though" you add to the end of your sentence after a long pause.
"right right! hypothetically.." he nods, though he can't contain his look of excitement at the words. "and you didn't kiss him back!?"
you're almost knocked off the chair from how intense his yell is. you groan and cover your face with your hands, embarrassed and ashamed. "i didn't know how to bring it up and not be awkward!"
"just say 'hey dejun you could totally kiss me and it'd be fine because we are both mortifyingly in love with each other'!" guanheng shouts, louder than his previous words. he's always so straight up, and you almost wish you didn't tell him anything. "it's that easy!"
"it is not!" you shout in rebuttal, crossing your arms and frowning. your acting like guanheng at this point, but that's not what you're noticing at this very moment. "it's easy for you! you date people and you kiss people all the time! i don't do that!"
"excuses excuses!"
you're at a loss for words at his lackluster words, you once again, frown and turn away from him. "i'm sorry! i have never been hardcore in love with someone like this before! i don't know how to talk about it!"
guanheng looks like he's about to yell again, but he takes a deep breath and relaxes himself, leaning back in the couch. "okay, i'm sorry for yelling.."
"y/n, you really just need to tell him how you feel straight up, because if you keep stalling than none of you will end up confessing in the end and you'll both just be going through a loop of 'should we or should we not?'"
you blink, staring at guanheng for a good few minutes, honestly surprised. this is probably the best advice he's ever given you, usually, you’re the one that has to give him advice because he always ends up doing something stupid and has someone that wants to murder him because of that stupid thing he did.
"that was actually.. good advice" you reply, laughing at guanheng's eye roll. he just shoves you, making sure he does extra hard this time to get his point across.
"shut up! i always give good advice!"
"you usually don't give any advice at all.." you mutter, running a hand through your hair as you look away from your roommate, who just glares at you like you just committed a federal offense.
"say something again and i'm gatekeeping dejun from you!"
"your what!?"
at the sound of your shout, guanheng giggles as he scurries away, proud of himself for the words that escape his lips.
YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW YOU SOMEHOW LET guanheng drag you off to a party on a friday night where all you wanted to do is relax. parties have never truly been your thing, but that's because being surrounded by a bunch of drunk and high adults just isn't your idea of fun, you're also just not a big drinker, so the only reason you usually even end up at parties is to take guanheng home when he gets too drunk and can't fully articulate his thoughts. so, the fact that guanheng was somehow able to convince you to get out of the house and go to a party when you truly should've been at home, watching horrible sitcoms.
but no, you're here! and you can't leave without guanheng because if you did, he'd probably find a way to end up killing himself, or he'd say the wrong thing to the wrong person and would end up getting punched in the face.
so you find yourself in a familiar spot, your back against a wall as you stare at your phone, somehow able to ignore the hundreds of screaming drunk people that surround you, it's become a skill of yours, and you're not sure how exactly it developed, you've just become such a natural when it comes to ignoring others.
guanheng, of course, has already walked off to do his own thing, but not before reminding you of the advice he'd given you a few days prior, yelling at you to 'just tell the boy you like him!'
maybe his advice is burned into your brain, because now all you wish is that you were with dejun, talking about something stupid, or just talking.
and there must've been somebody listening in on your thoughts, because he suddenly walks around the corner, head whipping around like he's searching for someone.
your not trying to look at him, but he catches your gaze immediately, and he skips towards you like a kid in a candy store.
"hi" he greets, a little giggle to his words. his face is a shade of bright red as he giggles once again, though nothing's funny. "pretty".
he whispers the last word, with the intention of you not hearing it, but his mind must be too clouded for him to realize that he said it much louder than he thought he did, but you don't say anything, just hum.
"hello" you greet back, and he laughs once again, covering his hand with his mouth. "are you okay?"
a loud snicker leaves his lips, and he moves closer to you to link his arm with yours. he rests his head onto your arm, a content smile spreading across his face. "i'm drunk".
his honest answer makes you question his state for a moment, since when do drunk people admit that they're drunk? or maybe he's only just tipsy.. your not sure, but he's not acting like a totally sober person right now.
"are you sure?" you raise an eyebrow, dejun just responds with a small 'hmph', and he keeps your arm linked with his. "dejun".
"yes! i am!" he yells as rebuttal, shaking your arm a few times. "do you wanna smell my breath?"
"oh no no no" you reply, covering his mouth with your hand. he laughs at you, his cheeks as pink as yangyang's hair, he grabs your hands, and whilst yours are cold, his are burning hot. "okay you have energy".
"i'm sorry" he suddenly blurts, another snort escaping his lips as he leans his head against your chest. you give him a look, confused as to why he felt the need to apologize.
"for what?"
"for doing that thing" dejun responds, closing his eyes as he sways back and forth. "i probably made everything awkward, i didn't mean to".
that's what he thinks? he thinks that he made everything awkward? you feel your heart break at the realization, but all dejun does is laugh sadly.
"you didn't— you didn't make everything awkward, it's okay".
dejun laughs again, clearing his throat. "just tell the truth, y/n.."
you chuckle, not at dejun, just at his words. he wants you to tell the truth? fine.. you will!
"dejun" you begin, using your pointer finger to tilt his chin up so the two of you make eye contact, you watch as his eyes widen, but he doesn't move, just lets you do your thing. "you can kiss me, it's okay".
he blinks, as if trying to figure out if you were lying or not. he opens his mouth, but no words come out, so he closes it again. "it is?" he asks again, just wanting reassurance, you hear his voice crack, but he's getting impatient, he wants your answer.
"yeah it's fine".
that's all the conformation dejun seems to need, because he finally presses his lips to yours after what seems like years of waiting. your arms naturally rest on his waist, and there's just something, something about this that makes you smile.
there's an urgency in the way he kisses you, and his hand comes up to hold your face. he is just so desperate, and it would be a lie to say that you weren't just as desperate as he is. you'd been wanting this for so long, you don't even know how many times you thought about what it would be like to kiss dejun.
his fingers caress your cheek, and the contact feels like your skin was set ablaze. maybe this is what you needed, and you assume it's exactly what dejun needed to, because he pushes on your shoulder with a seemingly inhumane amount of force, which makes you gasp a little.
while your one arm is around his waist, the other one goes up to run your fingers through his hair, somehow causing the two of you to both smile, barely stifling your laughs.
after what seems like forever, dejun pulls away, and while you're standing there, breathless, he just smiles, relaxing as you play with his hair. "you like my hair?"
you aren't sure why out of all things, that's what he decides to ask, but you laugh, completely enamored by the boy in front of you. "yep, it's soft" you reply, biting your inner cheek. "the color suits you".
dejun tilts his head, looking up at you with his insanely pretty eyes. you just want to squish his cheeks, or wrap him in a blanket and hold him forever, you aren't sure why you just have this surge of loving emotions for absolutely no reason, maybe it's the way he's staring at you, or that he just left you breathless and did it so flawlessly.
he hums, not knowing how to respond to your compliment. he just suddenly gets shy, his ears turning red at your words.
"you're so stupid.."
that's probably his favorite phrase to say to you by now, but you don't mind, you just smile as he hides his face away from you.
"dejun" you call out despite him being right in front of you, and he looks up at you again, gaze warm as he gives you a small smile.
"yes?"
"i love you" you immediately spout, not even surprised by how high your voice has gotten. "like— in the i'm in love with you kinda way and not in a i just want you to kiss you but not call you my boyfriend kinda way".
dejun pauses, snickering at your words, he looks at you like you're the only person in the world.
what other way could there possibly be?
but you don't get any response, at least, not from him, because all he does is lean forward and press his lips to yours.
YOU'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN A FAN OF YOUR BIRTHDAY, and you aren't sure why. it used to be a fun thing up until you turned twelve and it suddenly felt like a switch had flipped, as if your birthday was making you miserable. now it's not like you always feel depressed on your birthday, it's just that sometimes you don't want to have a huge birthday celebration. most of the time— you only request for huge birthday bashes on specific days, like when you turned ten (you were very excited about becoming a double–figured age), or when you turned eighteen (you became an adult, not that exciting but it was definitely something, you could finally legally drink), but it's truly only specific days that you don't mind having large, people–filled birthday parties.
and not only were you not exactly anticipating your birthday, you already had something even bigger on your mind the whole time.
like dejun ghosting you! that's definitely one!
okay so you tell the guy you love him, you make out with him at a party (in the opposite order but oh well), he doesn't give you a response and then he decides to just ignore you?
maybe he just didn't know what to say, and that also lead to him just not picking up his phone for a good two weeks as he completely ignored your calls and texts and voicemails!
and with this being the only thing on your mind, your birthday seemed to be the least important event at the moment.
you didn't really want to think about it, and the campus was starting to make you feel sick, so this year you planned on visiting your parents after the day was over, considering your special day fell on a friday—
but guanheng, guanheng had other plans.
he practically begged you to let him throw the party for you, he wanted to do it so bad that he vowed to never ask you for a favor ever again (which is a lie! he never keeps his promises!), he was acting so desperate, it was like you'd just saved his life or something.
you're not sure what made guanheng so eager to throw a party for you, especially because you just didn't know what you would do with a bunch of people in your dorm.
but he insisted, he would throw you the best party in the world.
and after what seemed like forever, you two finally agreed on something—
you go visit your parents friday evening, and guanheng throws your party on saturday, easy!
"what do you mean strawberry isn't a good flavor!?"
you scoff at his question, nodding your head, as if confirming your words. "i don't like strawberry flavored things, you get me a strawberry cake and i'm making you sleep outside".
your threat results in a gasp from your roommate, who looks genuinely hurt by your words as he places a hand on his chest, horrified. "you are such a horrible roommate! threatening me when i'm throwing a party for you".
"it'll be a horrible party if you get me a horribly flavored cake".
you totally mean what you say as well— you truly dislike strawberry cake.
and when guanheng said party, you didn't exactly anticipate how many people he would decide to let into your dorm.
now you know a good chunk of these people, but most of these people probably decided to come just because they knew guanheng, all they did was utter some happy birthday's and then they ran off to do their own thing.
guanheng got most things right, he just invited a bunch of people that really didn't care for your birthday, just wanted to be around him.
so it's no surprise that you felt just a little disappointed about the people at your party that just didn't give two shits about your actual birthday.
and guanheng was off doing something else, though you could actually see him this time, he was telling people where to put the gifts they brought for you.
your beginning to feel suffocated in your own dorm, which is ironic to you, because this is quite literally the place you go to get away from a bunch of people, it's the only place of yours that isn't full of people.
so, you clear your throat, and push through people to get to the door, not wanting to stay inside with all these people, you'll probably end up throwing up everywhere if you stay inside even longer.
when you exit the dorm, you take a deep breath the moment you close the door, letting your back fall against it. you immediately jump as you see a person behind the door—
okay so dejun (who you confessed your love to by the way!), is pacing back and forth in front of your door, totally stressing. you blink, a look of confusion spreading across your face. "um.."
"are you okay?"
you aren't even sure why you opened your mouth, but if you didn't, this would just go on for a good twenty more minutes.
dejun jumps, clearing his throat as he smiles awkwardly. "you— scared the shit out of me".
he's acting so casually? after not talking to you for a good two weeks!?
"sorry—"
"i'm sorry!"
dejun immediately yells, covering his face with his hands. "i'm so sorry for not texting you! or calling you! or giving you a response! it was so stupid of me to not consider your feelings and instead of just telling you straight up how i felt i decided to ignore you but i was scared that i wouldn't be able to tell you without making it awkward and it—"
"dejun" you place your hands on his shoulders, turning him around to face you. "your rambling".
he sighs, eyes darting away from your face, he frowns. "but it's not okay, i didn't talk to you, i probably came off as such an asshole! you were probably so confused, and i just.. said nothing!"
you observe his features, and he looks even more anxious at your silence. his face goes red, and his leg begins bouncing up and down, whilst his hands look for something to hold.
"okay, calm down.." you mutter, reaching for his left hand and lacing it together with yours. "it's okay, there's no need to be worried".
"i'm sorry" he says again, finally looking up at you. "i get it if you don't forgive me—"
"dejun" you cut into his sentence, squeezing his left hand. "i forgive you.. i love you".
you repeat your confession once more, and dejun blinks, processing your words.
"i love you too".
and finally, after what seems like forever, after what was so long, he gave you a response.
before you could say anything more, dejun pulls you in for a hug, his arms circling around your waist. you're a bit taken aback by the sudden display of affection, but you also don't mind, because he squeezes you tighter.
"happy birthday" he mumbles, a small smile coming to his face as he feels your hand comb through his hair. "i'm sorry".
"stop apologizing" you say, lifting his chin up so you could look him in the eyes. "i forgive you, it's okay".
and it is, you're being completely honest, but dejun doesn't say more, immediately pulling you back into a warm hug
but suddenly, the door to your dorm swings open and guanheng peaks his head out, eyes widening as he witnesses the current thing. he has absolutely no context to anything which was happening at the moment, he just opened the door to witness a totally unaware dejun hugging you.
"uh.." he blinks, glancing between you two, but not asking anything, just clearing his throat. "it's time to cut the cake?" he laughs awkwardly, and you just smile, giving him a i'll be right there look.
"o...kay" he doesn't say anything more, just goes back inside and closes the door.
dejun giggles as guanheng closes the door, pulling away again to look up at you. "oh he is totally tired of us".
"we didn't do anything, though".
dejun snickers, lightly hitting your arm. "okay okay, you need to stop, it's your birthday, you have to go cut your cake".
"and.." he pauses, pulling a box out of nowhere and handing it over to you. "open your gifts".
you raise an eyebrow, confused. "where were you even hiding that?"
"that's irrelevant! it's your birthday, come on!"
and you let him drag you back into your dorm, smiling at him the whole time.
YOU ALMOST CONSIDER THE WAY YOU are acting to be absurd, and it's funny how much of another side dejun can just bring out of you. now you would never consider yourself to be a grumpy person, but people usually do describe you as having a 'natural frown'. you never really thought of yourself as being like that, but you guess that people don't see you look so happy much, because they continue to point out how it's like some glitch in the matrix to see you just a little less miserable as each day passes. chenle especially makes comments, talking about how you need to "put your smile away" because not seeing your resting face constantly freaks him out, renjun on the other hand, is elated, or maybe he's just glad he can finally be rid of you, you don't know.
but all that put aside, you are happy, and you have a cute oreo–haired man to thank for that.
and maybe this is all you really need, just dejun, the two of you don't even have to do anything, he can just lay his head down onto your shoulder and you'd be having a good time.
you like it when he sits down and paints your nails for you, or when he watches you bake over your shoulder, not knowing what to do but happy to watch you do your thing, or when he coerces you to win prizes from carnival games for him with his absolutely adorable eyes (he doesn't even need to try to coerce you, you'd do it either way).
"i'm pretty sure this is illegal".
"it's not!" you reply, though you mean to reassure dejun, your words seem to worry him more than anything. you take his hand, squeezing it. "dejun, i'm not getting you into any illegal activity".
"i can never tell with you" he retorts suspiciously, keeping your hand in his as you lead him up, he would have tripped if not for you holding your hand and guiding you up.
you clear your throat, patting the spot beside you as dejun immediately sits, so close to you that your legs are touching. "if i ever wanted to do something illegal, i'd know better than to bring you along".
he gasps, and you can't resist the urge to laugh at how offended he sounds. "what is that supposed to mean!?"
"you" your pointer finger touches his nose, and he doesn't even try to move. "are a snitch, you would be horrible to commit a crime with".
dejun slaps your hand away, and you laugh at the way he crosses his arms, a familiar pout gracing his absolutely beautiful features. "you— i.. take that back!"
"it's true! even yangyang would be a better option than you!"
dejun is even more offended by the words, and he slowly scoots away from you, arms still crossed as he pouts. you giggle as he remains scooted away from you, still angry about the words you said.
"uh— jun, i was just joking!"
"you suck".
dejun glares, but his glare is anything but serious, as you can see the way he slowly starts to break under your gaze, resisting the urge to burst into laughter. "i hate you".
"you love me".
he does, and he can't pretend he doesn't, because he almost immediately snickers, looking away from you as to not laugh more.
oh he is just so adorable.
you scoot closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist, making him yelp. "you're so cute" you mutter into his shoulder, and at this point, dejun doesn't even try to pretend anymore.
"you're so corny" he says, patting your arms that currently circle around his waist. you lean your head down onto his shoulder, making yourself comfortable, and he just lets you, because at this point he can't really push you off him.
"don't fall asleep, i'm not going to carry you back to your place".
"you would be too weak to carry me anyway— ow!"
you yell loudly as dejun nudges you in the stomach with his elbow, and while he looks absolutely proud of himself, you just glare, absolutely done with him.
but you don't say anything, just lets your fingers run through his hair, probably your favorite thing to do with him. he just cups your face, and he just smiles at your face, giggling. "your just as cute as when we first met".
the statement makes you snicker, because you did not expect for him to say that out of all things he could've said. you get why he says it though, because you are at the place where it all began, the bleachers, the same bleachers where you two were standing when you shared your first interaction.
you tilt your head, wanting to tease him more. "so there were moments where i wasn't cute, then?"
dejun scoffs, turning away from you. he lightly pinches your arm, and you yelp once again, inching away from him. "why do you enjoy hurting me?"
he smiles innocently. "i don't, i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"
your face drops, and all dejun does is laugh, squeezing your cheeks. "don't be mad, babe, you know i love you".
and you do, you do know, he never fails to remind you of how much he does.
"i love you too.."
with your eye rolls, and tiny mutters, dejun knows, he knows that you're telling the truth.
#xiao dejun#xiaojun#nct#wayv#nct u#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct drabbles#wayv imagines#wayv scenarios#wayv drabbles#nct x reader#nct x male reader#wayv x reader#wayv x male reader#xiaojun imagines#xiaojun x reader#xiaojun x male reader#𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!
147 notes
·
View notes
Note
so i havent watched? read? otherwise consumed?? the untamed but every post i see from you makes me more intrigued, because theres nothing i love more than a Schemer. never happier than when a character has plots and plans and perhaps sinister intentions. Is it worth getting into the untamed for this? and if yes, where tf do i start (theres so much of it)
short answer: yes! much scheming in this story! I think you would like it!
long answer: do you like MORALLY AMBIGUOUS BISEXUAL TWINKS WHO ARE ALL NARRATIVE FOILS FOR EACH OTHER? do you like MEN WHO AFTER YEARS OF SUSTAINED DOMESTIC TERROR MAKE CHOICES THAT WOULD MAKE THE AVERAGE PERSON RECOIL IN HORROR IN ORDER TO SURVIVE? do you like the CHARACTERS WHO MAKE MORAL PURIST TUMBLR USERS FOAM AT THE MOUTH IN RAGE AND CONFUSION? do you like STORIES WHERE THE PROTAGONIST IS A SERIAL KILLER AND ALSO TECHNICALLY COMMITTED CANNIBALISM (BUT IS STILL ALSO A FUNNY LITTLE GUY)? do you like CHARACTERS WHO OBSESSIVELY CHASE JUSTICE EXCEPT OOPSIE IT'S NOT JUSTICE ANY MORE IT'S JUST REVENGE WITH ZERO CARE FOR COLLATORAL DAMAGE?
there is scheming! there is plotting! there is patricide and fratricide and accidental indirect frat-in-law-icide! everybody is Jin Ling's Uncle and everybody has been traumatised by their dad! the live action drama decided that in order to get the one canon queer couple past the censors they would just make everyone gay so they didn't stand out!!!!
so I would personally say that the live action drama (The Untamed) which was on netflix (I'm not sure if it still is but it's definitely on youtube) is the easiest route in, if you aren't super familiar with xianxia/wuxia - the characters may seem confusing but they are all colour coded by family so after a while you'll learn how to keep track of them. The novel the drama is based on is called Mo Dao Zu Shi (english translations are available), and there is also an animated show, as well as, I believe, a radio drama? one thing I would warn about the show is... look... the first few episodes are shit. they are just. not great. I do not know WHY they decided to start with objectively the weakest episodes. but I swear to god if you can get as far as the end of episode 2, where the flashback starts, IT WILL GET GOOD. I watched the show during the lockdown and four years on IT IS STILL REWIRING MY BRAIN.
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
things i like: (i am an adult believe it or not)
-tlou2 (do not engage with me about this stupid game i’ll word vomit everywhere and get unreasonably excited/abby defender till i die)
-critical role (i started with campaign 3 like an idiot but now i’m attached to the characters so i can’t just leave them ya know)
-willow (i just started okay but i’m obsessed disney created the perfect little sandbox to play in with these characters i have never felt such an urge to read fanfics in my life who have i become)
- florence and the machine
- women (in general not in a gay way i am not gay i swear i’m not gay why do you think i’m gay look at me do i look like a gay person psssh…..how do i tell my parents)
- minecraft
-i love cats if you don’t like cats i’ve sent a hex your way it may arrive a few days delayed but it’ll get ya!!!
-talking about the things i like
-my butthole
-i should sleep
-gwyneth paltrow she is my favourite celebrity not bc i actually like her but bc she’s just so delusional rich white almond lady core and goop is so girlboss of her like yes scam your own consumer base slayyyyy i mean if you’re going to be a celebrity at least entertain my monkey brain and gwyneth hits every spot!!!
- and soooo much more but i can’t be bothered to type it all out ya see
things i don’t like
- tomatoes
- men
#i have more but i’m tired#get to know me#critical role#tlou2#abby defender#society is built so stupidly and it has always irritated me that we don’t all see the flaws in this stupid system i want to frolick in a
1 note
·
View note
Text
For All Time. Always.
I know some of us have been feeling pretty down about all of the anti nonsense here and on Twitter. We may also fear the new direction possible in season two. New director, new writer maybe, who knows what else. Plus the worry about how long we’ll have to wait to see these two together again.
It’s a lot to deal with. Maybe you feel like the world (or small moon) is crashing down on you. But I’m here to help!
Would you like to know how I know that Loki and Sylvie will be together - and for all time, always?
It’s simple!
Greed!!!
Disney is greedy as hell. It’s a money-obsessed behemoth, consumed with the need to sell the most product they possibly can to as many people as they can for as long as they can.
And that, my dear friends, is to the benefit of Sylki's everywhere.
Think of the merchandise alone!
The matching horned helmet wedding ring sets. The t-shirts imprinted with "A Bit of Both" or "You ARE my Way." Officially licensed Sylvie horned mouse ears, "Love is a Dagger" earring and necklace set. The Sylvie outfits from Her Universe. The Disney-branded green and gold tablecloth blankets for snuggling. A limited-edition snow globe of the two of them holding hands on Lamentis as the magenta dust swirls around them.
-Sylki Makes MONEY-
Lots and lots and LOTS of money.
Bruce/Nat and Steve/Sharon weren't dropped as couples due to outrage over them being together - it was dropped because no one gave a crap. It wasn’t important enough to anyone (actors, directors, writers, fans) to keep it going. No disrespect to the ships; they just weren’t fleshed out well enough by the creators, had no impact on the story, and so were dropped without fanfare.
No passion from the fanbase = no merchandizing = no relationship.
-Loki is Now Imperative in Marvel’s New Narrative-
Just like Falcon & Bucky and Wanda & Vision’s journeys in their respective shows, Loki’s growth through his relationship with Sylvie is the foundation of his series. It’s not only an important relationship, it is fundamental to his character and and therefore fundamental to Marvel’s Phase 4.
-Expanding the Market-
See this chart? This is a breakdown of people who think of themselves as superhero movie fans. It shows that 46% of all women DO NOT consider themselves fans of the genre (or don’t care). 39% of men are in the same boat.
Disney/Marvel will always want to expand their audience to earn money. But despite all of those awesome movies in Phases 1, 2, and 3, they still have yet to appeal to over 42% of the population.
So what’s the plan? How can they expand the fanbase?
-Romance!!!-
After a few choppy starts, we finally have two fully-fledged, heart-stoppingly beautiful, sweeping romantic love stories in the MCU.
Two out of three of the first Disney/Marvel shows center around a love story!
Wanda's love for Vision and her children as well as Loki and Sylvie's romance and search for one another only serves to grow the Marvel fanbase (namely appealing to women and/or anyone who likes romance as much or more than fist fights... which is a large percentage of that missing 42%).
Trust me, you're going to be seeing a lot more romance in Marvel for Phase 4. (The Eternals, Thor: Love and Thunder, Ant Man and the Wasp, etc.)
Women have money. Romantics have money. And Sylki has opened up a whole new demographic for Disney to squeeze.
Personally, I started shopping for Sylvie merchandise the second she popped on the screen. Any Sylki stuff they come out with, I swear to y’all, I’m going to buy ALL OF IT. (That Lamentis snow globe thing I mentioned earlier? I’d pay like 200 bucks for that.)
-There’s No Financial Downside to Sylki-
Think of it another way:
Disney isn't losing money by keeping Loki and Sylvie together (they're profiting quite nicely with Sylki, actually) and Disney won’t make money if they drop the relationship.
Antis won't stop watching Marvel movies because of Sylki. They won't cancel their subscription to Disney+ because of it. They're just gonna keep forking over their money show after show and movie after movie and rage tweet on the internet. Nothing Disney will do could stop their asinine posts (there's always someone complaining about something), and so why would they even try to appease those people?
Disney don’t give AF about the content of your posts, my dudes. They’re actually just happy you’re posting.
Cause it’s engagement! Thumbs up, thumbs down, doesn’t matter; it’s all engagement.
And engagement is money.
All of the anti's downvotes and little diatribes on 'self-cest' are annoying and sometimes downright offensive to us, but they keep people talking about the show.
Each pissy Tiktok video, each crabby IG story, each woefully ignorant Tumblr post - all of it serves to DRAW PEOPLE IN who might not have otherwise watched the show.
"What on earth is everyone so angry about?" people will ask. "What's self-cest? How could someone fall in love with themselves?" they'll wonder.
And then they’ll pay Disney to find out.
(Hell, I only watched Frozen because Elsa was supposed to be hella gay - conservative TV told me so!)
-So Keep the Faith, my Sylki Friends-
If you can't trust that the love and connection between those two characters and those two PHENOMENAL actors is enough to keep Loki and Sylvie together, you can trust that Disney will always follow the money.
and Sylki is money.
I promise you, there’s far more love from these two is coming! I hope my marketing background and jaded cynicism brightened your day!
#loki#sylvie#sylki#sylki meta#lovedaggers#this is my first meta#i hope it's okay#thank you for reading#capitalism ftw
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bisexual
[Smut, a tiny bit of fluff]
• Ten x Reader (fm)
requests closed ♡
-You are gay, aren’t you? I mean, by the way you look at Johnny, it’s pretty obvious- You speak nonchalant, fixing your eyes on the random yaoi movie you both are watching.
-I prefer calling myself bisexual- Ten answers with no amusement- I still don’t know how it’s to have sex with a girl-
-That’s why i thought you were gay- He laughs under his breath. You turn your sight to him, just to admire his delicate face traits. Indeed, Johnny was lucky.
Being friends with Ten was something... peculiar. He is a mystery, in every possible way. When you think you know him, suddenly he appears with a personality totally different from what he chose to show you. In those 5 years of knowing eachother, Ten always had something new to uncover about him, making you feel refreshed. There was no way you could be bored with him, everything felt new, funny, dangerous. He helped you to skip your first class, to get an A on maths, how to get drunk without puking, and how to freestyle dance. You just don’t imagine your life without him.
And now, that you both live together, everything got even better. Nights reading tarot cards, laughing at some Tik Toks, and even you both escaped to make a friendship tattoo: A little butterfly under your boob and under his chest.
Some people would say that you both look like a couple, but there is no way Ten have ever felt that way with you. Oh, but if you talk about your personal feelings...
-Uhm, __, do i have something in my face or..?- Ten whispers so suddenly you snap out of your thoughts. One side of his face is iluminated by the different colors of the sunset that it’s occuring outside your balcony window. He looks so pretty like this, how can he even be real?
-Yeah, some uglyness over there- You try to play it cool, throwing a pillow towards him, positioning it on his lap so you can rest a bit over your heavy thoughts.
He doesn’t seem to complain, and starts playing with your hair. It feels so nice to be around him, he is your comfy zone, your safe space.
-I really want to know- he mumbles.
You freeze.
-Know? What do you wanna know?- For some reason, you don’t want to look at him.
-How it’s to have sex with a woman- he sounds so damn secure about himself, like those words didn’t afect you at all. But he’s wrong, your heart speeds up a little bit, trying to figure out where this conversation was heading to. No, there is no possible way that...
-I’ve been thinking about this a long time ago, you know- his voice goes deeper this time- I know so much about sex with men, but so little with girls. I really want to try how I develop during the act- What the fuck is he talking about?
-Ten, what the f...- he grabs you by your back so you sit up and face him. You are only centimeters away from your nose to rub his.
-I want to know... ___, please let me find out- he almost sound like begging. You hold your breath trying to conect the last neurons that are functioning so you convince yourself that you are not dreaming. You can’t help but look at his lips,just waiting for his sign...
There is no movement at all, not his, not yours. The only thing you can hear is your own heartbeat buzzing on your ears, his warm hands on the sides of your cheeks, his eyes piercing your thoughts.
-Just kiss me already- Your voice trembles, almost like if you are unsure. Actually, you are, there is no way this could end in a good way.
But all of that fades away when he connects his lips with yours. For a few seconds, it’s only that, just your lips touching. But it’s enough to make your mind go fuzzy, fireworks erupting on your lower belly, feeling like this moment should’ve happened so many years ago. When you interwined your fingers while walking on the park, or when he comforted you when you broke up with Kun. But no matter how awkward this moment was, it is everything you needed.
You don’t know how longer it takes for you to experimentally open your mouth a little bit, just to lick his lower lip, tasting the waters. He moves away quickly, leaving your mouth hanging open. You think you messed something up, but before you can apologize about taking things too fast he grabs you violently by the nape of your head, so he can start to kiss you messily.
Everything is tongue, saliva and teeth. There is no control, at all. His tongue works majestically inside your wet cavity, exploring every inch of it, like he was marking your mouth as his. You let him lead everything, you just melt under his ministrations, trying to fight his tongue only to earn a deep growl from his throat.
He grabs your hips giving you a sign to sit on his lap and you do, gasping as soon as you feel his hard clothed member against you. He janks your hair just to have your neck fully display to him, so he can start marking you up. It first starts as tongue kisses, but slowly he sucks mercyless every inch of your neck and collarbones.
-Ten, i have dance classes tomorrow- you try to stay as rational as posible, running your fingers through his dark black locks- Dont mark me up-
He looks up to you, mouth full of saliva, eyes glistening -You are acting as if you aren't mine-
It felt like somebody totally different from Ten was talking to you now. When you said that he always had something new about himself to show, you weren't kidding. His voice was always sweet as a candy cane, but now you can swear he can cut a rock with a whisper. You shiver, not knowing what its going to happen at all.
-My dear pup- what... is that... a nickname? A pool starts to grow on your panties, and you are afraid you will wet his jeans as well- Do you think i don't know how i make you feel only by looking at you? By touching you?- he lays back on the sofa where you both at, just so he can admire your fucked up state, he is loving how wrecked you are by him- Why do you think i dont fuck any other girls, huh? Because I know how to drive you insane, i know how you masturbate with your filthy vibrator everynight you see me without a t-shirt, wishing that pleasure was given by me- your mouth opens in surprise, and you suddenly want to be swallowed by the couch and just disappear. It seems that he notices- The only girl i want to pleasure my whole life is you, because you are the only one who can make me feel this- he grabs your wrist so your hand touches his dick over his pants.
You are absolutely clueless of everything. So many things happening so fast. He heard you masturbating? He masturbates himself thinking about you? Is it now even the time to wonder about those things?
Almost on queue, he kisses your lips softly, caressing your hair -Let me make you feel good, pup. I want to try everything with you, only you-
A loud moan breaks the ice between you two. You look at eachother trying to figure out where the sound is coming, until you both face the TV. Right, the Yaoi movie. The scene is so fucking explicit you couldn't help by sigh, and that doesn't slip out of Ten.
-You like watching that, don't you?- he turns you around, so now that your back is pressed against his chest. He opens up your legs and in a blink of an eye has his hands roaming the waistband of your pajama pants. -You are so filthy, what if that was me and Johnny? Would you rather watch that?- you moan not only because of the scene you just imagine, but also that his fingers start to ghost against your wet folds- Or do you prefer me fucking you, making a mess out of you?- he teases you, rubbing gently but never putting enough pressure, he only rubs your pussy lips.
You open up your legs in desesperate attempt to make him touch you more, but he just takes his time. You are not watching the movie at all, your mind wandering about all the things you can try with him.
Finally, his index finger rubs your clit slowly in a up and down motion. You hate the fact that you are too vocal when it comes to sex, but it seems that for him it tastes like glory. Using two fingers now, he decides to rub your now hard and too sensitive nub in different ways, but when he starts to do it in circles is when you close your eyes and moan his name loudly.
-Okay, that's how you like it then- and you dont notice when he starts to pick up his pace. You are so close, so damn close due to all the dirty talking, but you don't want it to end.
-Ten please, i don't want to cum yet- you rest the back of your head on his shoulder, eyes rolling back. You can hear the sounds that come down from your wetness, and it seems that he tries in all best ways possible to make those sounds louder and louder.
-Who says you have permission to cum anyways, pup?- he whispers in your ear. His eyes are fixed in how his fingers are working on you, at the same time he is listening carefully how his name slips out of your tongue everytime he slows down.
-Ten ‘m so close, please- You don’t know what are you begging for. Your legs tremble trying to hold your orgasm but you feel like you are going to explode.
-I love when you call me by my nickname, but sometimes i think you forget about my real name- He stops his actions, making you groan in disapproval, but he hush you while introducing his fingers on your mouth. You don’t want to admit it, but you truly love your own taste.
You suck clean his fingers, swirling your tongue around them, while trying to look at him in the eyes, though it was kinda difficult due to the position he is. He bites his lips, humming in agreement, he likes what you are doing.
-I want to hear how you scream my name while i make you cum- He starts to rub your clit again, but 10x faster. He looks like an expert rubbing you, it feels so damn good, it’s impossible that he is a “girl virgin”.- Say it-
-Chittaphon...- You feel so embarrased, and don’t know why, but you choose to let go and get consumed by pleasure. You feel it, that tight knot begging for release, your hands holding on dear life by his arm muscles, hearing his grunts on your left ear, even the year of his piercings on your cheek makes you burn and get closer and closer.
-Chittaphon im cumming- you warn him with voice cracked, you can’t hold it any longer.
-That’s it pup, let go, cum for me- He whispers and licks your earlobe. And that’s all that takes for you to disappear from earth, being sucked in by the orgasm that is washing you. You chant his name over and over again, your inner walls clenching around nothing, the climax seems to last for hours. You feel your clit throbbing, thighs full of your own liquids, and you black out.
-____, baby, it’s okay- He hears that you are whimpering, destroyed by pleasure.- Don’t move, let me clean you up-
In a matter of minutes, you start to get conscious, eyelashes batting fast trying to recognize where you are. The aroma of Ten invades you and suddenly you feel calm, you are in his bed, covered, with a white t-shirt and nothing else below that. He is laying besides you, hugging you by your waist, caressing your skin with his thumb.
-Hey, you woke up. I was worried, i thought i knocked you out or something- He smiles, clearly proud of the mess he just made. You slap his shoulder, letting a little laugh slip out of your mouth.
-Sorry-
-About what?-
-I just passed out... i didn’t even suck you off- You legit feel embarassed.
-Ah, ____, i wanted it this way. It was perfect, trust me- He pecks your lips, worried that maybe you won’t believe him- This is what i asked for-
You feel your heart full. Of blood maybe, but it’s a metaphor to explain how complete this man makes you.
-So, are you bisexual or not- You try to change the subject, laying on your side so you can face him. You still don’t get used to the idea that probably, probably you both like eachother. He laughs outloud, with his perfect teeth on display, and then he bites his lip.
-Im ___sexual, for sure-
You don’t know what it’s going to happen before this. But that’s Ten’s essence, he is a complete mystery. And that’s why you are madly in love with him.
#nct#nct 127#nct dream#wayv#nct smut#wayv smut#nct imagines#wayv imagines#kpop smut#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#wayv scenarios#nct ten#wayv ten#chittaphon smut#ten smut#ten scenarios#ten imagines#chittaphon scenarios
280 notes
·
View notes
Note
Heelo mousie! Love your blog! Do you mind recommending some of your favourite Chinese BL novels or shows?
I've seen the untamed and read it. I'm currently reading heaven's official blessing and I saw the donghua. Anything other than these two?
Awww, thank you!
Novels: I am gonna be lazy and literally copy/paste the entire danmei section of my top 10 web novels post (except MXTX’s stuff since you are already reading it.) Let me know if you need help finding any of these.
Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)
Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”
Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.
To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.
Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.
The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.
Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!
The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.
The Wife is First - OK, this one did not make my top 10 web novels but it’s a sweet, fun gay cottagecore fest. Our ML, a royal prince, and his spouse, a smart if delicate aristocrat, keep house, eat noodles, play with their pet tiger, make out and spoil each other rotten, while occasionally fighting battles and outwitting their court enemies. It’s so very mellow. That couple redefines low drama - they are both nice and functional and use their brains. It’s as if a nice jock and a nice nerd got together and then proceeded to be wholesome all over the place.
I mean, the set up could be dramatic - our ML the prince, lost his fight for the throne and is about to be killed. The only person who stayed loyal to him is his arranged husband the aristocrat guy who ML never treated nicely since he resented marrying him (marrying a man in that world is done to remove someone from the ability to inherit the throne.) And yet the husband stood by him not out of love but beliefs in loyalty blah blah. Anyway, he transmigrates back into the past right after their wedding night and is all “I got a second chance OMG! I don’t want the throne what is even the point? I want to live a good long life and treat the only person who stood by me really well!” And he proceeds to do so to the shock of the aristocrat who had a very unpleasant wedding night and generally can tell the man he just married would rather eat nails than be married to him. But soon enough (no seriously, it’s not many chapters at all) he believes the prince is sincere blah blah and then they get together and they pretty much become cottagecore goals.
In terms of dramas, I only do period dramas (or novels) so I am not the person to be able to recommend any modern BLs. There is a flood of upcoming (hopefully) period BL dramas but it’s relatively thin on the ground now. The two I will recommend is Word of Honor (which is AMAZING) and Winter Begonia (which I just started watching but which owns me already.) I have a tag for both - the one for the former is huge and I cannot recommend either strongly enough. I’ve heard good things about The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I am not big on mysteries so haven’t watched it for myself.
In terms of the upcoming BLs, the ones I am most looking forward to are Immortality and Winner Is King, but The Society of the Four Leaves also looks promising.
46 notes
·
View notes
Photo
recently i stumbled upon the “pico but he’s very offensive” fnf mod vid (it was funny btw) and the comment section is full of guys like on the left
i swear to fuck this is like the “mars vs venus” discourse all over again. on one side we have got edgy mostly male chucklefucks who think Newgrounds belongs to them (surprise surprise: I was on NG back in the day and most assuredly, I was not consuming whatever the hell these guys are on about) and on the other side we have queers from all over twitter, tiktok and tumblr just ykno, having fun with a funny cool game. yes some of that content can be called cringe (still entertaining af tho) but being offended over a fictional mascot character possibly being gay? clown on clown violence
and yes i played thru the original pico’s school. was it inappropriate? yes. was it funny? also yes. this game was made in a time where awareness of racial stereotypes was very low at best, but somehow, it also doesn’t exactly make light of the school shooting event, to me it’s rather a commentary on how a kid manages to retaliate against his school shooters, which is a very unlikely scenario irl? sure, it has oodles of dark toilet humour, but I never saw someone say a slur or be outright sexist? so what crack are these leftmost nerds on? even in the april fool’s update fulp had fun playing around with the idea of his little fictional son being gay for the bf in fnf, but bc it was released on april fool’s, these poor fragile dudes feel the need to not even acknowledge its existence
additionally, I seriously don’t understand why there always needs to be opposing sides in a fandom. a character can both be a gun-toting fearless badass AND at the same time be gay and wear a maid dress with cat ears on the top. WHY NOT BOTH?? this dude’s crazy enough to do both things. why do cishet men always feel so threatened by potentially getting their masculine power fantasy ruined hjgsdjghsdhjrhjsdrhjsr, you truly are the weakest link of society. but the other extreme is calling pico’s school “problematic” like my dear, neither tunglr nor twitter existed at that time and ppl did whatever the fuck they knew in their relatively limited worldview before the internet became more expansive and woke, it was 15 years ago, most of y’all (including me) were kids back then hsdghshjsjhjhrshj, a lot can change in over a decade
it really shows how internet culture has changed since then, but tbf, i like the new culture a little more than the old one - just not the extreme side
#fnf#pico#discourse#i haven't actively engaged with the fandom yet thankfully but watching all the drama unfold is wild#so this is how it feels to be in an active fandom#you won't catch me posting this on NG on my life#i'd rather stay with the queers#own post#im mostly a bystander on this whole thing esp bc why get your dick in a twist over a fictional character#but i wanted to express this bc i was surprised at the number of ppl going 'this is what ng is really like'#what???#not in my experience luv#also if you're an extremist on either side dni or i'll block your ass
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
is it wrong to read yaoi/yuri bc so many ppl say it’s wrong (fetizashion??!)
yaoi and yuri aren’t even used in japan. not even in korea. they use BL and GL. those words are out dated. and i’m saying this from sourcing actual native japanese speakers who talked about this. and the “so many people” are literally always white people or minors lmfao. ive noticed and I ain’t letting some white tell me a poc muslim lesbian on how I should be represented in gay media.
reading is reading. the stupid little kids that have nothing better to do but act fake woke while there’s real matters to worry about read a cheap made up urban dictionary definition of what fetishizing means and ran with it.
fetishizing means to have an irrational sexual obsession. reading means... you’re reading you know how dumb it sounds when you’re reading something gay and people wanna play fake woke with their colonizer white washed bullshit ideas and call it “fetishizers!!” like... no. i’m reading. so people who go to libraries and like books,,, they’re fetishizing books? they wanna fuck a book? lmfao no.
as long as you don’t push these fictional ideologies on real people, objectify human beings, actually support the lgbt community and demonstrate us as equals. etc. then you’re just reading well for the sake of reading. idk why it’s so hard for them to understand instead of faking some sob story shit cause some stranger decides to read gay themed content. as if we ain’t made to read/ watch straight shit in everything we see around us.
no one says this dumb shit when it’s straight crap. so why do people pull this for gay/lesbian themed fictional content? people are so heteronormative that they really think they did something by slapping “it’s fetishizing” nah. people are reading.
if you’re reading a genre and it’s your preference, then it’s a preference it’s your interest. I like horror movies, I watch a lot of horror. does that mean I fetishize horror? no lmfao.
people need to learn more about what the word means. it’s so embarrassing when it’s the new generation of dumb asses that never paid attention in class pulling this “it’s fetishizing” bullshit.
native japanese mlm have spoken so many times on this and it’s always the weird whites that act xenophobic and don’t wanna listen to japanese men and their pleas to stop spreading such misinformation about a sub genre they pretty much own. like it’s from japan. I trust listening to japanese people instead of some white about bl/gl.
also once again. yaoi and yuri are outdated terms. they use BL and GL. when you read on official sites haven’t you noticed they use only BL/GL tags?
also,,, fighting over fictional shit and who reads what isn’t saving the lgbt. I swear people talk all this shit on the internet but haven’t helped actual lgbt people. ranting about fictional shit because it’s their personal problem and they can’t ignore/educate themselves on what words mean is their own problem. I have more things to worry about then someone acting like they know me/ how I read just cause of the type of genre. it’s even more annoying when people suddenly wanna start discourse if the content is anywhere gay. performative activism type of bullshit.
I read well to read. to laugh, to criticize. cause ... manga/ written format. it’s all just fictional material to consume and read as you would with anything else. I have more worries about whether i’ll be alive the next day cause of how bad the virus is in my area rather than to be lectured by some kid on how to read and what to read lmao
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'd love to see someone explore kyle being at the gay bar possibly hoping alex walks in? gone there bc of feelings for alex and wanting to explore it? have gone there with alex once and kept going back? has actually gone there ever since getting back to roswell but nobody noticed? idk so many possibilities but ending up with alex 😌
(i keep trying to add a read more and it refuses I hate it)
“You know, gay bars are supposed to be safe places, not places straight people go to for a museum experience.”
Kyle quickly looked up to Alex, eyes wide as he watched him walk towards him. In all the time he’d been coming here, he never actually expected to run into Alex here. Alex didn’t exactly seem the type to actually go out without being provoked to do so. It meant Kyle had to actually explain himself.
Which, you know, would’ve been easier if he knew how to.
“That’s... not what I’m doing,” Kyle said. Alex smirked more to himself than anyone else, sitting down at the table with his drink in hand. He looked more relaxed than Kyle was used to seeing him which immediately told him that absolutely was not his first drink.
“What are you doing then?” Alex asked, “Because I’ve been trying to figure out why the hell you’re in here for about thirty minutes now.”
Kyle huffed a laugh. “You’ve been watching me for thirty minutes?”
“I was trying to see what you would do if a guy came up to ask you to dance,” Alex told him, “Weirdly enough, no one did.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m anyone’s type around here,” Kyle laughed, shifting in his seat to try and hide the actual reason no one asked him to dance. There were only so many queer people in Roswell bold enough to go to a gay bar. Kyle had already been there enough times that anyone interested had already asked.
“Bullshit,” Alex said, shaking his head and looking way too hot doing it, “You just give off vibrant cishet vibes.”
Kyle tilted his head at his clearly very drunk friend. “That’s a new descriptor.”
“Yeah, I think it’s fitting.”
“I don’t know if I’d say that,” Kyle said, taking a sip of his own drink. If he was going to have to do this, he needed to catch up to Alex’s level of intoxication immediately. He ended up downing it before he looked back at Alex.
“Oh, shit, so you’re trying to get drunk to avoid to question,” Alex said, still smiling and laughing easily. It was weird seeing him so light. Kyle was kind of obsessed with it even if his presence was stressful. “Here, have mine.”
Kyle took it and drank it all, deciding he needed at least one more before he was at Alex’s level.
“How about this,” Alex said, leaning forward, “I buy you a drink and you dance with me.”
Kyle licked his lips and stared at him. All his visits here, all his experimenting, seemed to lead up to this moment. That was all training and dumb shit to test the waters and make sure he wasn’t a fool. This... this was the real deal. This was Alex, his friend and the guy who made him question anything in the first place. This was like fighting the big boss. This was the fucking Superbowl.
“Why are you staring at me like a deer caught in headlights? You want a drink or no?” Alex asked, still smiling. Kyle blinked out of his daze and nodded.
“Yes, absolutely,” he agreed. Alex nodded and stood up, walking to the bar to get him another drink. Kyle took that moment to prepare himself, knowing that this was the night he was going to come out to Alex and it was going to be fucking awesome. Hopefully. Maybe. Fuck.
Coming out was easier said than done. It was one thing to stroll into a gay bar for the first time with no confidence and be boosted up by a ballsy twink who gave him head before the end of the night. It was one thing to get comfortable with the idea of being with men and trying his own hand at new things with strangers in their cars. All of that was easy because he wasn’t even necessarily attracted to them, it was just a good way to experiment and they didn’t mind teaching him when he admitted that he was new to it all. It was something completely different to try and approach his friend who was so confident he was straight and say ‘hey, I might be in love with you in a gay way’.
But Alex came over with a drink and kept looking at him like he was curious and Kyle tried to tell himself this was going to go his way.
“So, am I ever going to find out the real reason you’re here?” Alex said as Kyle tried to consume the drink as fast as he could so they could go dance, “It’s not to, like, creep on women who come here for other women, right? Because I might have to kick your ass for that.”
“No, that’s definitely not why,” Kyle said, pulling the straw out and just tilting the whole thing back. Alex shook his head.
“What the hell are you hiding, Valenti?” he asked, looking somewhere between amused and turned on and Kyle had exactly no idea how to handle that. Probably because there’s no way that’s what he was actually feeling.
“Let’s dance,” Kyle said, pushing himself to his feet and absorbing the slightly woozy feeling of the alcohol.
“Yeah, let’s.”
Kyle avoided any looks the men he’d hooked up with before gave him as he pulled Alex onto the floor. They didn’t need to know anything and Alex definitely didn't need to get any ideas from them. He wanted to tell Alex himself. That was the goal.
Alex pulled him close, a challenging look in his eye as if he was just waiting for some type of line to be crossed. He grabbed his hand in one of his and put the other on his lower back, slow-dancing to the relatively fast-paced music. Kyle went along with every move.
“So, what’s the goal here?” Alex asked, leaning in close to speak. Kyle swallowed harshly at the feeling of his breath on his ear. Okay, so there was no time being wasted.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you at a gay bar?” Alex asked again, “And why are you so okay with dancing with a gay guy? I’m trying to decipher your motives.”
“I’m not some straight guy trying to prove that I’m not a homophobe anymore if that’s what you mean,” Kyle told him, “I come here because I like the atmosphere.”
“What straight guy comes to a gay bar by himself?”
Kyle took a deep breath and focused on the alcohol in his system. Now or never.
“Why are you so sure I’m straight?”
Alex froze in his grasp before he leaned away from him, his eyebrows furrowed as he eyed him. Kyle stared back, unwavering and trying not to seem like a total loser. There was no way this was going to end the way he would’ve liked.
“So... what do you mean by that?”
“I guess the word is bisexual?” Kyle said, “Or something. I’ve talked to a couple guys here and they agree that sounds right. I’m pretty sure my percentage is, like, 85% women, 15% men, or maybe even less towards men, but I’m still working it out, I just know it’s there on some level because when I look at you, I... Is that too much information?”
Alex was still staring at him like he’d grown another head. Kyle just waited and hoped he would be okay with that. He assumed he would be considering Alex didn’t seem to have a problem with Michael’s bisexuality. Except that confusion slowly slipped into something so close to betrayal that Kyle’s heart sank.
“Are you trying to say that you’re into me?” Alex asked. Kyle slowly nodded and Alex pulled away from him. “So, what, you’ve only been nice to me for the last year because you wanna fuck me?” Kyle’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
“What? No, oh my-”
Alex didn’t care to listen, shaking his head and quickly making a beeline for the exit. Kyle quickly followed him all while trying to follow Alex’s thought process. Of all the reactions he’d expected Alex to have at that moment, that wasn’t it.
“Alex! Wait, just talk to me!” Kyle called, following him to his car. “Just let me explain!”
“Explain what? That you’re just one of those people who is an asshole until you want something from me? Because that’s what I’m hearing. I thought you were my friend,” Alex said as he turned to face him. His face was red and Kyle didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the anger.
“No, I swear to God, that’s not why I’m nice to you,” Kyle said, holding his hands up, “I didn’t even know I was into guys until, like, four months ago. Like I said, my percentage for liking men is extremely low. You just happen to be in that section and I didn’t realize until four months ago. You are my friend, I just... Wouldn’t mind also being more than that if you wanted.”
“Four months ago?” Alex repeated, eyeing him skeptically, “Like, four months ago as in that time my dad knocked us out and locked us in a small ass bunker together for 24 hours?”
Kyle grimaced, still keeping his hands up by his head. “Guilty.”
“What the fuck about that day gave you a second sexual awakening? I-I was literally sweating the entire fucking time and covered in dried blood. I was gross.”
“What can I say? I guess I like when you’re gross?” Kyle said, trying to smile but it didn’t really work. Alex scoffed, shaking his head before raking his hands through his hair.
“I’m so confused,” Alex breathed, leaning against his car and covering his eyes. Kyle took a deep breath and tried to order his thoughts. He decided the best way to do it was just start from the beginning.
“Um, I think it was actually when we got out. I had to kinda help you walk and you were leaning on me and then, when we got in the backseat of Isobel’s car, you still leaned on me. You fell sleep on my shoulder and I, I was so scared that if I moved you’d wake up and get away from me. It took me a few hours after that to even realize that what I was feeling when you were leaning against me was sort of how I felt in high school with Liz,” Kyle explained. Alex peaked up at him through his hands. “It wasn’t sexual at first. I just... I kinda realized I loved you in a way I wasn’t supposed to.”
“At first?” Alex asked. Kyle shrugged.
“That I realized a little bit later when we were working on self-defense together. I definitely should’ve realized that earlier because I’ve had, like, x-rated dreams about you, but it never really clicked that that was something I would be legit interested in that until I saw you that day. Sweaty and shirtless and breathing really hard and pouring water over your chest like... Sorry,” Kyle said, rolling his shoulders back as he tried to get back on track, “But once I realized that, I realized I had no idea what to do about that. So I started coming here and, well, pretty much every single queer guy in Roswell is down for a meaningless fuck. I learned a lot, so...”
Alex dropped his hands, still looking semi-conflicted as he stared at him. Kyle waited patiently for him to say something.
“You promise me you weren’t just using me?” Alex asked. Kyle nodded.
“I promise. I would never. And if you’re not interested, I promise we can just go back to acting like this never happened. It’s still early enough in my stupid crush that I can move on without issues if you say you’re not interested,” Kyle explained. Alex nodded slowly. “So, uh... are you? Interested?”
“I don’t know,” Alex huffed, “I’ve never thought about it.”
“Never?” Kyle asked. Alex gave him a look.
“Not, like, since we were kids and I had, like, a dumb little kid crush on you. I kinda haven’t let myself think about it because you’re straight. Or, I thought you were.”
“If it helps, I thought I was too.”
Alex let out a soft laugh, looking at him with those eyes that reminded him why the hell he’d fallen for him in the first place. If only he’d been slightly less good looking or slightly less ridiculously caring and loyal and strong. But then he wouldn’t be Alex.
“Look, I don’t need an answer right now, I know I kinda put you on the spot,” Kyle said, “You can sleep on it or we can talk more or, fuck, you can shut me down right now. Whatever you want, Alex.”
Alex took a deep breath. “How about we go on a date?” Kyle blinked in surprise.
“For real?”
“Yeah,” Alex decided, “Take me out, woo me, see if it’s actually something we could do without it being weird.” Kyle nodded easily.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Okay. Then... it’s a date.”
“It’s a date.”
Kyle couldn’t help but smile at him, feeling giddy and already beginning to plan it in his mind. It was going to be fucking great and he was going to sweep him off his feet. Then he was going to put his new skills to use.
“But I think I need to go home now,” Alex said, huffing a laugh.
“Let me get you an uber or something, you’ve been drinking,” Kyle said, already pulling out his phone. Alex smiled and shook his head.
“What a gentleman.”
“That’s not even the beginning,” he said, “I’m going to sweep you off your feet.”
“Can’t wait.”
And, honestly, Kyle couldn’t either.
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
How to Survive A Factory Tour - Chapter 10
A Sanders Sides / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Fanfiction
PREVIOUS
----------
The best way I can think to describe this wonderful room is this: Wonka took Sugar Rush from Wreck it Ralph, that bit in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs when it’s snowing ice cream, Sweet Sweet Canyon from Mario Kart, and mixed them all together onto one island. And the result is magnificent.
We’re standing on a dock by the door, and on the other side of a fizzy yellow sea is an island where everything is made from desserts. There’s a mountain which is a large tiered cake, hills that are ice cream scoops, and - if my expert Disney park knowledge serves me correctly - a volcano in the centre that is the volcano dessert from the Rainforest Café.
“Did I die? Because I think I’m in heaven…” Patton mumbles, eyes wide and sparkling.
Wonka hops into a small rowing boat with just enough room for all six of us. The rest of us all join him, and he starts rowing us across the sea to the island.
“Just like before, you are free to roam about yourselves. However, can you head to the east beach after fifteen to twenty minutes? There’s something exciting I want to show you.”
Patton leans over the side of the boat, dipping his finger into the yellow sea. He pulls it out, trying a little. “It’s lemonade!”
“Right you are!” Wonka responds. “The fizziest, tastiest lemonade in the world.”
Almost to punctuate the ‘fizziest’ part, Patton lets out a small burp. “Oops, sorry…”
“It must be rather powerful if Patton burped after such a small amount…” Logan speaks up. “Is it actually safe to consume larger volumes?”
“Of course! Nothing leaves the Inventing Room until it is perfect. The lemonade has been thoroughly tested,” Wonka assures.
I dip my finger to try some lemonade as well. However, as I do, I swear I see a dark shadow in the water…
Eh, it’s probably just the boat creating a shadow.
I sit back up, tasting the lemonade, and letting my own little burp out.
“Wow, Princey, didn’t expect you to be so uncouth,” Virgil smirks.
“Princey? Hm… I like it. Keep calling me that.”
Virgil just rolls his eyes.
“So we can just try anything like last time?” Patton asks, receiving a nod from Wonka in response.
“Nothing’s taboo, like the river in the last room?” Logan inquires.
“Nothing at all. No accidents have occurred in this room ever, and I trust you to be responsible enough to keep it that way.”
The boat pulls up onto the beach of the island. Wonka hops out, and we follow suit, the sand crunching under our feet. Patton seems to have taken the designated role of taste tester, leaning down and picking up a handful of sand, before pouring it in his mouth. “Crushed up graham crackers!”
“Correct again,” Wonka nods. “Now, go ahead, you five, you can go explore.”
Once again, like the Chocolate Room, we all go running off. Patton’s trying a little bit of everything we come across. Virgil does the same, only going a bit slower than Patton. Logan takes a seat by a bush growing ice cream sandwiches, picking one off and eating. I walk around a little longer, before finding a large angel cake. I use a nearby chocolate shard as a knife and cut a slice, before going back to sit by Logan.
“I saw you getting all flustered over Pat on the boat,” I tell him. “You should really just tell him how you feel. By the end of the day, it’ll be too late. You have limited time.”
Logan sighs. “I know… I was going to earlier, but the flume on the boat ride ruined the moment.”
“You could do it on the beach,” I suggest. “Beaches are classic confession/proposal venues in romantic movies. And Patton said this room is his personal heaven, what could be a better time? Perfect romantic mood for you two.”
“I guess you’re right… Okay. I won’t chicken out again. I’m going to take Patton to the beach and confess my feelings. Surely it cannot be that diffi-“
“LO!!!” Patton suddenly runs over, and I think, based off his wide eyes and inability to stay still, bouncing on the balls of his feet, it’s pretty obvious he currently has a very bad sugar high. “You have to come over here, there’s a milk and cookies lagoon and it’s really really really cool!” He grabs Logan’s wrist, and drags him off before the other can say anything.
I chuckle at the two of them. They are two of the worst disaster gays I’ve ever met - they’re perfect for each other.
“I see Patton’s kidnapped Logan…” Virgil’s voice catches my attention as he comes over and sits beside me, eating a flapjack.
“Yep. Those two are so cute together… I can’t wait to find my soulmate like those two have…”
“Ah, so you’re one of those kinda of people who believe in soulmates?”
“Of course! Don’t you?”
Virgil considers it, before shrugging. “Dunno. Never really had time to think about romance or boyfriends or anything. I’ve been too focused on work and saving money for that. The closest thing I’ve gotten to a love life is judging my friend, Elliot’s choice in men.”
“Boyfriends? I’m sensing a very non-straight theme with us tour members…”
“We don’t know about Ethan,” Virgil points out, but I shake my head.
“My gaydar is very powerful. He’s definitely gay. I mean, he’s wearing a bow tie and suspenders by choice, casually.”
“True… Hey, about Ethan, I think something’s off with him… I saw him whispering into some bushes back in the Chocolate Room. It was kinda weird.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Kinda? Sounds like a bit more than kinda… Or maybe he was just talking to one of the Oompa Loompas? They’re pretty short, maybe you didn’t see them because they were stood behind the bush.”
“Maybe… I dunno, Ethan just kinda creeps me out.”
“Wow, I wonder why. Maybe it’s because half his face is that of a snake!”
Virgil shoves my arm, rolling his eyes, yet smiling. I grin back at him.
“You do that a lot. Come on, you love me really.”
Virgil crosses his arms, huffing, but still smiling. “Piss off…”
I pout, resting my chin on his shoulder. “I’m sowwy, Viwgwil. Pwease forgive me.”
“Jesus, I’m not going to forgive you when you’re doing owo speak!”
“Actually, I was doing uwu speak. Very different.” I pause. “Wait, how do you know what owo speak is? I thought you didn’t have a phone or internet.”
Virgil shrugs. “I’m friends with Remy. One of the things he does on his daily coffee shop runs is teach me current memes and internet trends.”
“Huh. Remy’s pretty cool… He single?”
“Aro.”
“Darn… Oh well. The process of elimination brings me one step closer to finding my soulmate.”
Virgil chuckles. “You are aware there are, like, over seven billion people on earth. Process of elimination isn’t gonna get you very far.”
“Well, actually, half those people are eliminated because they’re female. Another bunch because their too old or young. Another bunch because they’re straight. Another bunch because they’re looking for sexual relationships as well, which I cannot provide. Another bunch because they’re aro. That leaves a small percentage of people who could be my soulmate.”
“Well, I wish you the best of luck, because it is going to take you forever to find them.” Virgil says, before reaching over and stealing a bit of my angel cake. I glare at him, before leaning over and taking a bite of his flapjack. “Hey!”
“Revenge, bitch!”
Virgil glares at me. I don’t realise he’s picked up a nearby cream pie until he slams it onto my face.
I pull it away and lick my lips. “Oh, it’s on.”
-
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I LOVE this room!
I’m knelt at the side of a lagoon of milk, dipping cookies in it and munching on them after. They’re so good! Even better than the ones Ma makes, and that’s saying something, because her’s are amazing!
Anyway, I keep happily eating the food that graced so many of my childhood bedtimes, and I look down to where Logan is sat on the beach, looking at a small stream coming off the lagoon and going off into the lemonade ocean. “You okay, LoLo?”
“Yeah, I’m just looking at this stream. It’s extraordinary… The milk from the lagoon somehow changes to lemonade as it reaches the ocean, avoiding cross-contamination. How does it do that…?”
Awww, he’s so nerdy and curious, it’s adorable! I just wanna go over and hug him tight, and never ever ever let go, and-
Is it possible to get drunk on sugar? Because I think I might be. Just an ickle little tiny bit.
Anyway, more cookies!
“You know, Logi,” I say between bites, “you should really try that lemonade. It’s sooooo good!”
Logan looks down at the sea for a moment. “I am curious as to the effects of having a larger volume.” He scoops up some lemonade, drinking it from his hands. He wipes his mouth after. “Wow, Mr Wonka was not lying about the fizz… I already feel gassy.”
I chuckle. “You look it too. Look at your tummy!”
Logan looks down, seeing is stomach is distended. Oh! I used a smart word! ‘Distended’!
“... Okay, if that amount did that to my stomach, there is no way higher volumes can be safe,” Logan says, patting his stomach. However, doing so causes him to let out a belch, which in turn makes his stomach go down. He blushes, putting a hand over his mouth. “Oh, um, excuse me…”
I, on the other hand, burst into giggles. “Sorry, I know burp jokes and potty humour are childish, but it always makes me laugh…!”
Logan smiles. He pauses, before shuffling over and sitting beside me. “Are the cookies nice?”
I nod. “They’re even better than the lemonade! Here, try!” I pick up a cookie, dunk it in the lagoon, and shove it in Logan’s mouth.
He chuckles, biting down on the cookie. “Hm. They are pretty good.”
“Pretty good? More like the best things ever!”
Logan just shrugs. “I personally think Crofters is much better.”
“Crofters?”
“It’s a Canadian jam brand, and my absolute most favourite food in the universe. It’s so sweet and delicious, yet is completely organic. It’s even better than the jam Wonka makes.”
“Sounds nice! I’ll have to try it out sometime!”
“You should. It’s to die for.”
We sit around a little longer, eating cookies and just talking. I tell him about my job at the bakery, and different recipes I’ve come up with. He tells me about his college and classes. I don’t understand a lot of what he tells me, but I don’t mind. It’s nice to just hear him talk… He gets so passionate when he talks about learning and school…
God, he’s perfect. Maybe I should just kiss him now… Kiss his soft, perfect lips…
“Patton?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I got distracted… What is it, Lo?”
“I, um… I wanted to tell you something…” He takes a deep breath, before reaching over and taking my hand. My own breath catches in my throat. I look back up, and meet his eyes.
“Patton… I know we only met yesterday, but I really really-“
“Excuse me, you two, but it’s been twenty minutes, we need to go meet Mr Wonka on the east beach.”
Logan curses under his breath, before turning and looking up at Ethan, who stands over us. “Thank you for informing us, Ethan. We had better get going.”
Logan stands, pulling his hand from mine. My face falls a little, but I push it aside for now, hopping to my feet and following him and Ethan to the Eastern side of the island.
After a bit of walking, Roman and Virgil join us. Logan raises an eyebrow at their food covered clothes. “What happened to you two?”
“Dessert War,” they respond in unison.
“You mean a food fight?” Ethan asks.
“It was too intense to just be a fight,” Roman replies.
“Who won?”
“Well… technically there wasn’t a winner, we just kinda stopped when Roman got a dark stain on his crop top and screamed that it cost a lot, so we stopped,” Virgil explains. “Which, if you forfeited, actually means I won!”
“Oh, you did not, I landed more hits!”
“Bullshit! That doesn’t determine the winner!”
“Does!”
“Doesn’t!”
“Does!”
“Doesn’t!”
That’s basically the rest of the conversation all the way to the eastern beach.
----------
NEXT
Remember, the ask box is always open!
Taglist: @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @clone-number-1 @pumpkinminette @why-should-i-tell-youu2
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#virgil sanders#sanders sides virgil#patton sanders#sanders sides patton#roman sanders#sanders sides roman#logan sanders#sanders sides logan#deceit sanders#sanders sides deceit#willy wonka#sanders sides au#au#charlie and the chocolate factory au#fanfic#fanfiction#logicality#prinxiety
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times....
「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.
was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.
while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs
was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day.
bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.
left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.
TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.
they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.
one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming…..
she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe
massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.
massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps. i hate her
isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.
has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.
not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.
old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way. little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.
likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.
super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man
her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.
aesthetics:
a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.
wanted plots
frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!
since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships
girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !
and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night??
she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.
ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with
ppl who she runs track with.
someone she’s trying to make a zine with.
here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.
would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo
full biography if u can be bothered
trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.
you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.
lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.
you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.
there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.
the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.
you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.
in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.
the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.
#this is soooOoOOO fuckin long cos every time i play greta i add more shit to it..... her seventh form will just be an entire fuckin novel.#anyway call me beep me if u wanna reach me#aka pls msg me either here or on discord. my discord is linday lohan's meth8664#wshedintro
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
the right people ~ holt x kevin
As long as we’re with the right people, we can handle anything.
- Amy Santiago
- and also Raymond Holt, later that day.
AN ~ for the Anon who prompted: “Kevin comforting Holt when he doesn’t get the Commissioner position or celebrating with him when he does”. (And also for me, because it’s what we deserve.) This is emotional hurt/comfort so there’s some mild angst in here but it’s all wholesome I swear. Enjoy <3
Read on AO3 (~1800wd)
the right people
Kevin knew better than to wait up for Raymond on a night like this, and though he would have liked to spend the evening together – an increasing rarity in their lives of late – he could not begrudge Raymond the celebration of Peralta and Santiago’s wedding. Instead, he simply passed along his well-wishes for the newlyweds, and set peaceably enough about his evening routine. He cooked and ate tea, washed up, walked and fed Cheddar, pressed Raymond’s suit for the next day, and then retired to the lounge. There, he browsed Le Monde for a time, and then returned to his place in The Brothers Karamazov with a glass of port in his hand, ready to settle in for an evening of literary leisure.
It was at this moment that he was interrupted, and by the sound of Raymond’s keys in the door no less. Kevin glanced at the clock. It was hardly early, but still, something didn’t seem quite right.
“Raymond?” he wondered. Uncertainty tempered his joy at the thought of being able to spend the evening with Raymond after all. For a man whose friends had just celebrated their marriage, Raymond seemed awfully sullen. Kevin frowned, and set his book and drink aside. “… Is everything okay?”
Raymond did not bother to remove his coat or bag at the door, and instead headed right past Kevin and into the kitchen. Kevin leapt after him, now especially concerned that Raymond had apparently surpassed the melodramatic monologuing stage of whatever this was and had moved straight to something more drastic. Kevin’s concerns were only compounded when he found Raymond in the kitchen, having finally abandoned his coat and bag, staring deep into the soul of the microwave oven.
“Do we have ketchup?” Raymond wondered half-heartedly, watching goodness-knows-what spin around on its plate inside. There were only a few seconds to go.
“Ketchup?” Kevin’s frown deepened. “No, though if I remember correctly there is some tomato chutney in the-“
“Salt, then?”
“Top shelf, leftmost cupboard I believe. Why?” Kevin asked. “Raymond, what’s the matter? And what is…“
He trailed off when he saw the tell-tale red packaging strewn across the bench. The microwave chimed, and his stomach turned at the mere memory of the smell. Oh yes, he knew what that was.
Pizza pockets.
“Oh, no,” he objected.
“Oh, yes!” Raymond cried, raising the pizza pocket on the plate high as if it were some kind of holy punishment from ancient times. “I am a failure, Kevin, and so I shall eat the food… of failures.”
“I highly doubt that-“ Kevin began, only to find that Raymond had apparently recovered sufficiently from his initial disappointment to have re-entered the monologuing stage of… grief, or whatever this was.
“Peralta calls this his ‘comfort food,’” Raymond mused, turning the plate this way and that to study the pastry from all sides. “He assures me all will be well should I allow it to cradle me against its sodium- and preservative-filled bosom. Of course, I do doubt it, but then again, if today has taught me anything, it is that my opinion is meaningless. Everything is meaningless, except for this. This… pocket full of pizza is the only small chance at joy I have left in this world, Kevin. It is the one cheese- and bacon-filled star that remains in the black, burnt-out husk of the sky that is my career. It is… What. I. Deserve.”
Kevin could not stand idly by and untangle the net of mixed metaphors Raymond had just weaved for himself; not when, right before his very eyes, Raymond – with all the resignation of a heartbroken hero in a Shakespearean tragedy – plunged his teeth deep into the pizza pocket’s cheesy depths.
“No!” Kevin cried, knocking the plate and the rest of the pastry out of Raymond’s hands. “Don’t be ridiculous, Raymond. Why would you do this to yourself? Whatever is the matter, please tell me. It’s not about the wedding, is it? Because I already told you, I have no regrets about that.”
“No,” Holt agreed. “It’s not about the wedding. Such as it was. It is about… the job.”
“The Commissioner job?”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t get it?”
Kevin blinked, flabbergasted. He was frozen in place, paralysed by confusion and no shortage of indignant fury, as Cheddar ran into the room and gleefully began licking up the cheese-and-bacon-flavoured mess he’d made. Raymond knelt to scratch Cheddar’s ears and murmur sweet nothings. Kevin’s brain ran the gauntlet of the Kubler-Ross Model.
First, denial. Could Raymond be joking? If so, it would not have been the first time he had used his subtle manner to extract humour of a practical nature. Immature though such a joke may have been about a thing like this, he was undoubtedly a little tipsy and may not have been thinking as clearly as he usually did.
Then again, the pizza pocket spoke to that well enough, and the amount of drink he had consumed had no doubt in itself been influenced by the receipt of such terrible news. It was not fair, it was simply not fair, Kevin thought. Raymond had worked impossibly hard, and fought frankly ridiculous odds, to stay with an organisation that had never cared for him. What else could the NYPD have possibly wanted Raymond to do? He could hardly have spent more early mornings or late nights at work. He could hardly have conducted himself more professionally. He could hardly have given up more than he did, or believed in the purest most idealistic heart and soul, the intended purpose as he saw it, of the NYPD any more than he did. Serve and protect. Kevin defied anyone to have done it better.
And yet, they had both seen this coming for a long time. Raymond had had to fight for every scrap of recognition, every case, every promotion he had ever received. He was a proud black man, and gay too, and not remotely ashamed of either of those facts. He had come out in the midst of the AIDS crisis and never looked back. Never backed down. He had stood up for Sergeant Jeffords, advocated for Santiago, and fought racial bias in the NYPD where ever he had found it. That had to be intimidating for an organisation chaired by white men who were comfortable in their ways, who baulked at change, who served the mission of the organisation to their own end. Maybe the other candidates for Commissioner had indeed been quality officers – Kevin knew himself better than to assume he would give any officer besides Raymond a fair assessment – but after watching his husband be systemically undermined at every turn…
The urge to march into the new Commissioner’s office and have a strongly worded discussion with him (if not an outright swordfight, which Kevin had also briefly entertained) began to fade. The inevitability of it all did sting, but Kevin realised, there was only so much he could do about it at this point. No doubt all of these thoughts, and more, had been running through Raymond’s mind ever since he’d found out about the board’s decision. It was no wonder he’d resigned himself to pizza pockets. And no matter what the reason, Kevin reminded himself, the fact remained that his husband was clearly extremely upset. Maybe he could not single-handedly fix the prison system or end mandatory sentencing, but pizza pockets? Not in his kitchen. At least that much, he could handle.
Taking a deep breath, Kevin brushed Raymond’s shoulder to regain his attention.
“Take a seat, Raymond,” he offered; for both their dignities, ignoring that Raymond was still all but curled up with Cheddar on the kitchen floor. “I have a plate for you in the oven. There is no need for you to torture yourself any further with that… ‘food’.”
Raymond sighed as well, and hefted himself off the floor with a visible effort.
“You are too good to me, my dear,” he declared, catching Kevin’s hand and squeezing it, leaning in for a brief embrace as they passed each other. “What would I do without you?”
“Experience an ischemic cerebrovascular accident, no doubt,” Kevin offered.
“No doubt indeed.” They had passed each other like orbiting planets as Raymond moved toward the dining table and Kevin toward the oven, but Raymond took his time releasing Kevin’s hand. He picked up the packet of pizza pockets from the bench, with three remaining pastries inside, and glanced over the list of ingredients on the back. To think, what he had been about to put into his body? Thank goodness for Kevin helping him see the light. Raymond dropped the box into the bin, and for the first time since reading those fateful words – we regret to inform you - a smile touched his lips. And not just because he was glad to be rid of those awful frozen pockets of pizza.
“Raymond, may I request back the use of my hand?” Kevin asked. “The plate is hot and it will be safer for both of us - and for your dinner - if I am able to use my full faculties.”
“Of course.”
Raymond released Kevin, and watched as he pulled a plate of roast cauliflower, broccoli, pumpkin, carrot, and lamb from the oven with all the grace and strength and decorum with which he had always conducted himself. The plate itself was nothing special, all of it unseasoned to perfection, and yet Raymond found himself staring rather moonishly as Kevin turned back and saw him.
“What is that look for?” Kevin wondered; flattered, if a little confused.
Raymond was thinking of what Amy had said earlier. What he himself had repeated at the bar. That as long as we’re with the right people, we can handle anything. His squad, certainly, was comprised of good people and he was proud to be their leader and their friend, but there was one ‘right person’ he had come dangerously close to overlooking tonight. How was he to convey how sorry he was, or how happy, how grateful, how loved? How could anyone bring themselves to write wedding vows at all? Then again, why did they need to, when three little words could achieve so much?
“I love you,” Raymond said.
Kevin’s expression softened.
“I love you too,” he said. Then, as they walked to the table together like it was any old Parisian street, he added: “Would you still like that salt?”
Raymond shook his head as they sat. “I don’t need it. Thank you.”
“No trouble at all, my love,” Kevin assured him. Of course, there was no need for the extraneous pet name, but after a long day, it never hurt to indulge. “No trouble at all.”
#holt x kevin#raymond holt x kevin cozner#captain holt#brooklyn 99#b99fic#clara's fic tag#ask me stuff#prompt me stuff#long post#readmore
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Call me when you’ve chosen
This is my first ever fan fic so it might not be that great but I still hope you enjoy it! feel free to message me constructive criticism or any prompts you want me to do! I love Elu just as much as you guys so I hope I did them justice!
Follow my page for me Skam content!
Enjoy!
The boy’s laughter snaps Lucas out of his deep thoughts.
Lately all he could think about was Elliot. Elliot’s hair, Elliot’s smile, the way Elliot’s face crinkled when he laughed; memories of their short affair consumed his brain.
As much as he was mad at him, Lucas really missed hearing his voice.
“Earth to Lucassssss” Yann teased
“Sorry… what were you talking about?”
“We were talking about how ugly this damn mural is, we should probably start it soon.”
In an attempt to make Lucas feel better, the boys had planned to redo the mural together. It was a nice gesture and he appreciated it but being in the place where Lucas first laid eyes on Elliot and doing something him and Elliot were supposed to do together made his heart ache.
“yeah yeah, we can start now” Lucas said, lifting himself off the couch.
Lucas shuffled over to the mural, looking up at it sadly
Man, it really was ugly
“Lucas… you know we’re here for you right?” Arthur says as he walks up next to Lucas
“I know, thank you”
“So then tell us what happened between you and Elliot… it sucks seeing you so sad and we want to help.”
Shit. Lucas thought he was keeping it together better.
There’s nothing to sa—”
“Bullshit Lucas” Yann interrupts him “Don’t start hiding things again”
“I’m a good listener! I don’t know much about gay guys but--” Basille didn’t get to finish his sentence before Arthur clamps his hand over Basilles mouth
Lucas lets out a small giggle at Arthur, turns around to the boys and releases a sigh
“It’s not a big deal okay? Elliot and I kissed in the rain, spent an amazing night together, he told me he broke up with his girlfriend but then I saw them kissing at Chloe’s party so… that’s it. Not a big thing!”
“Lucas…. That is a big deal.” Yann says, staring into Lucas’s eyes
“I just wish he would stop giving me drawings... just let me move on already.”
“Drawings??” Basille asks confused “Is that a gay thing?”
Lucas rolls his eyes but continued
“he slipped one in my biology textbook this week, saying how much he missed me. I just don’t understand him”
The foyer goes silent for a few minutes. The boys are staring at their hands, trying to come up with a response. Just as the silence gets uncomfortable, Yann breaks it.
“He’s playing with you. I’m not okay with it, call him out! He can’t have a girlfriend and you, he’s gotta choose!”
Arthur and Basille nod in agreement
“You have to give him a piece of your mind!” Arthur says
“call him out? How would I do that?”
“text him something like, I’m not interested in guys with girlfriends. You can’t have us both. Call me when you’ve chosen” suggested Yann
Lucas digs for his phone in his pocket. When he unlocks it the conversation (or lack thereof) with Elliot is already up. Lucas had been staring at it since he got Elliot’s last text. He forces his thumbs to type What Yann had mentioned,
To Elliot: I’m not interested in guys with girlfriends. Sometimes you have to choose. Call me when you’ve figured it out.
He stared at his phone screen for a minute, trying to build up the courage to send it. Knowing that when he sends it there is no going back. Knowing that the decision Elliot makes could change his life for the better or for the worst. Elliot may have hurt him, but this uncertainty was ripping him apart. He pressed the send button and threw the phone on the couch.
“Done. I sent it”
Basille starts to clap but Yann shoots him a look and he stops.
Not even 2 minutes later Lucas’s phone chimes. This makes his world stop. Lucas and the boys just stare at it, finally Yann picks it up and hands it to the frozen Lucas
From Elliot: Where are you right now?
: We need to talk
Lucas reads it out loud. The panic starts to build.
“Oh god what do I reply??”
“Just say Foyer.” Yann says, smiling a little. “Keep it cold, do not show desperation”
Arthur shook his head in agreement, “Yeah, make him panic a little. It always works with the ladies, he’ll call soon.”
“I honestly I have no advice… I don’t know anything about women or men apparently” Basille sighs
Not knowing what else to say Lucas types out the text and hits send
To Elliot: Foyer.
Lucas slips the phone into his back pocket and claps his hands
“Alright ladies let’s get started on this mural before I go permanently blind”
It takes them an hour to get the first layer of white on the wall. An hour that dragged on forever. Lucas was constantly checking his phone and the boys were constantly asking if Elliot had called yet?
“For the fiftieth time guys, no. He has not called, and he is not going to. He’s probably just putting off the fact that he has to tell me he’s not interested, and it was never real for him” Lucas’s voice starts to crack at the end of the sentence
“well then he’s an idiot because you’re way better than whatever her name is” Basille says as he wraps his arms around Lucas’s tiny frame, pulling him in for a bear hug.
For the first time Lucas doesn’t push him off and soon all three of the boys are squeezing him so tight he can hardly breathe. He only pushes them away when he truly can’t breathe anymore, laughing as he weasels his way out of the group hug. His laughing only stops when he turns around.
“Guys…” he says but no one hears him over the laughter. “Guys!” he yells a little louder and they all turn to Lucas, suddenly all laughter stops.
Standing by the doorway was Elliot, gorgeous Elliot. The man who made Lucas’s heart skip a beat and ache all at the same time. He was wearing that brown jacket Lucas loved and his hair was a mess, he loved Elliot’s hair, especially when his hands were in it. Lucas looked down at Elliot’s eyes and noticed the boys usually piercing eyes that gave him butterflies were red and swollen, like he had been crying for a while.
“Hey” Elliot said quietly “I hope I’m not disturbing anything”
“No, actually we were just gonna head out, Arthurs…. Dog got sick” Yann lies
“I don’t have a---” Arthur starts before Yann elbows him in the side. “Ohhhh yeah, she’s throwing up everywhere, very gross”
Arthur and Yann gather their things and Basille’s because he can’t stop staring. They practically have to drag him out of the foyer. They’re almost out of earshot when Lucas hears Basille exclaim “Holy shit he’s hot! No homo though!”
Now that they’re alone Elliot takes a step towards Lucas, but Lucas takes a step back.
“What are you doing here?” Lucas whispers
“I came to talk, I made my cho--” Elliot tries to finish but Lucas cuts him off
“Do you even know how bad you hurt me? Did you even think about it? You tell me you broke up with Lucille for me and then tell me you need space?? But you don’t even take space Elliot! You give me drawings and you come up to me in the cafeteria! What kind of games are you trying to play with me?”
Elliot opens his mouth to respond but Lucas keeps going, tears forming in his eyes
“Not only that but you get back together with her! You’re making out with her while I’m being outed by Chloe to the whole school at the same party! Did you ever like me? Or was it fun to see if you could push the closeted kid out of the closet?”
Lucas finally takes a breath and stops, staring at Elliot waiting for a response. Elliot’s beautiful eyes are staring at the ground, tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry” Is all Elliot manages to whisper, eyes still fixed on the ground
“I just… I just like you so much, you’re the first person I’ve ever felt these feelings for and knowing you don’t feel the same is… it’s heartbreaking.” Lucas chokes out
Elliot’s head snaps up, “Lucas I do feel those same things for you, I do. There’s just a lot you don’t know about me and if you knew…” He pauses “if you knew I’m scared those feelings would disappear.”
“The tell me, please just tell me”
“Lucas---”
“How am I supposed to believe you if you don’t tell me?”
The air is heavy and both boys have tears falling down their cheeks. Elliot is back to looking at the ground now so Lucas steps towards him and gently pushed Elliot’s head up so he can look in his eyes.
“Please tell me Eli, I won’t freak out I swear. I want to know, I think I deserve to know”
Elliot leads the younger boy to the couch without a word and sits him down.
“Okay I’ll tell you. Just… just don’t say I didn’t warn you okay?”
Lucas nods, staring into the handsome boys’ eyes
“I’m… bipolar Lucas. I was diagnosed at 15 and I’ve been struggling with it ever since” he says, moving his eyes back to the floor, scared of what the look on Lucas’s face was.
“Oh okay”
“And the reason I went back to Lucille is because after all these years she’s convinced me that she knows what’s best for me and that I can’t be stable without her… but now I know that’s a lie because… well because I met you.”
Lucas nods, trying to think of something to say but it’s a lot to process. He opens his mouth to say something, but Elliot is still talking
“And I was so happy with you, we kissed, and it was perfect but then you told me you didn’t need mentally ill people in your life, and I didn’t… I didn’t want to be a burden and to be honest it made me sad.”
“Elliot!” Lucas exclaims “that is not what I meant at all. My mom is schizophrenic, my dad left me to take care of her by myself when I was 15. I love her a lot but it’s a lot to handle that young. I still talk to her all the time, she just believes so much in god that I don’t want her to hate me for being who I really am. I would’ve told you but when I tell people that they give me the ‘oh you poor little thing’ face and I hate it…”
When Lucas stops Elliot lifts his head to look into his eyes.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I could never not like you because of something you have no control over. You’re perfect to me” Lucas says, putting his hand into Elliot’s.
Lucas uses his free hand to wipe the tears from the older boys’ face, running his fingers along his jaw to his chin. Elliot leans his head in, resting his forehead on Lucas’s. All the time keeping their eyes locked.
“Eli, I really like you. Like a lot a lot and it scares me a little, but I want this to work” Lucas says, pressing a kiss to Elliot’s cheek
“I like you a lot too LuLu” Elliot says with a smile. The first smile Lucas has seen from him tonight
They lean into a kiss, it’s light at first but get’s deeper with every second. All the angst, the hurt, and all the fear has changes to passion. The kisses get deeper, Lucas slipping his tongue into Elliot’s mouth.
Elliot pushes away, breathing heavily “Can we go back to your place?”
“Probably not a great idea, my bedroom is now the living room. How about we go back to yours? Lucas says, giving Elliot a peck on the nose
“Lets just stay here then” Elliot grabs the back of Lucas’s neck and pulls him into a deep kiss
They melt into each other on the old couch and even with the springs digging into Lucas’s back all he can think is
This is perfect
1 note
·
View note
Text
My Rainbow Soul: A Journey To Just Being Me (My Coming Out)
This has been in the back of my mind for such a long time. Seeing as it’s Pride Month, I thought that maybe I should talk about how I came out, my process with accepting who I was, and hopefully give people hope that things will get better.
Now, I won’t be using names or anything. But I will be talking about a lot of things. Lots of negative things such as abuse and anxiety. If you have a problem with this. Don’t read. I’ll be cutting it off here.
Ready? Okay.
Now, I grew up a small town that was pretty conservative. We lived where coyotes, rats, mice, skunks, and raccoons were a problem. A place where you could fish, hunt, and farm. Everyone knew everybody, and there was a real sense of community.
I actually grew up pretty normal. I loved the Disney Princesses, Barbie, and even had a dollhouse. I had an obsession with two things however, mermaids and wolves. I LOVED those things to death. The story of Balto and how he delivered antitoxin to Nome Alaska was incredible, and I collected stuffed dogs to pretend I had a race team. And I had a love for all things ocean. I had mermaid dolls, sea shells, I collected sand dollars. It was a nice time. I also read a lot, and I drew a lot.
Yeah, everything was normal. I played with my dolls and created worlds in my head. But looking back on it, I was a bit odd. I had a HUGE obsession over the Little Mermaid. Especially Ariel.
Every girl liked Eric. I liked Ariel. I dunno why, I just found her interesting. I wanted to be a mermaid like her and live with her under the sea.
In hindsight, that should have been the first clue
I didn’t even know the LGBT+ community existed until I was 12, (by that time I had dropped all things girly and gained a sense of tomboyishness because it just felt right and I loved all the boyish things other girls my age didn’t fuss over) and the way I found out was less than ideal.
No worries, my family was, is, and always will be supportive of the LGBT+ community. But I found out about the community through, and this is going to be the dumbest thing ever. The Westboro Baptist Church.
You see, at that time I was on YouTube a lot. And when I was bored of watching the same Warrior Cat AMVs over and over (which was really rare) I would watch documentaries about strange things. Like mystery diagnosis stuff and serial killer things. (I swear, I was only a writer who needed ideas, still am.) And one day in my recommended section was a documentary of The Worst Family in America. I thought “Oh how bad can they be?”
When I was done watching it, I was confused. Wait, two guys getting married? That’s a thing? And God doesn’t like that? Why? It’s not hurting anyone!”
Thankfully, my family shut that shit down, saying God made everyone for a reason and that he made no mistakes. I did more research on it, being my curious self, and found out that there was a whole community, that being gay wasn’t a choice, God made us as we were, all kinds of rainbows and love. Eventually, loving the LGBT+ community was everything, and I began to hate injustice towards those who couldn’t control who they were.
I started getting inclusive in my writing then. Writing gay and lesbian characters, writing about Bi characters and Pans too. And even Trans and Aces. I started learning that there was a rainbow of sexuality and identity, and as we grow, we find a place among it.
Unfortunately for me, being a teen was a nightmare in so many ways. I had my friends, most of which were boys. And around that time, all the girls and guys started dating. I didn’t like guys in that way, never really did. And at the time I didn’t think about it. I was learning about my writing skill, I couldn’t be bothered. I was trying to figure out what I was good at.
But eventually, it caught up with me.
People started asking if I was gay. And I always said no, but eventually. I found my first crush.
And it wasn’t a guy.
Every time I saw her, it was like butterflies. I could never think straight when she was around. I loved her.
And surprisingly, that scared me.
I never really knew why until now. While I was and still am supportive of the LGBT community. I was well aware of the violence that came with it. The beatings, the discrimination, all of it. People have died because the world didn’t want to change. At the time, marriage wasn’t legal, and my life could be on the line in certain countries.
In fear of the discrimination, I got in a relationship with a guy to keep suspicions off. I thought that maybe if I hid myself enough I would start to believe I wasn’t gay.
But the relationship was toxic. Emotionally manipulative and abusive. I don’t really want to go into it. For the longest time, I thought it was okay. If I could keep it up and make it work, eventually I would be happy.
It was stupid. So stupid. To anyone out there, men, women, whatever. If someone forces you to do something you aren’t comfortable with, if you are AFRAID to be around them to the point where you walk on hot coals around them. If you are afraid of telling them something because of what you think they will say or do. Get out of it. Now. They don’t have to hit you to be abusive, women can do it too, and you deserve to feel loved and safe.
I broke free of it with the help of my friends, including my best friend in the entire world, but to this day I still feel terrible about it. How I lied, how I never spoke up, how I broke his heart. It makes me overlook all the times I felt pressure, all the times I was afraid to tell him how I felt. How I was afraid to be alone with him.
I would be fearful of getting in any relationships. And because most of my friends were guys, of course rumors were spread. I always said that I wasn’t interested in anyone. And I wasn’t.
I don’t remember struggling with my sexuality too much in my junior or senior year. Mostly because I was struggling with my mental health and I just remember nothing but sadness. A black fog over me that I let consume every bit of me until I was nothing but a shell that just appeared and disappeared. But it was there I remember. Crushes and hiding them, reminding myself that the world would not accept me.
Until the morning Same Sex Marriage was legal in the US.
I still remember the rainbow flags all over Facebook. The videos of couples crying, Obama speaking. I remember just tears, curling up on my couch sobbing with tears of joy.
I remember thinking, “I can get married now. It's accepted. It’s okay.”
But there were still issues, there always will be. And I almost fell straight back into the closet.
Eventually I was tired of people asking me if I was straight or gay, and so I just said I was Bi. I...felt it was safer. I don’t know why.
For the record, I’m sorry I hid behind Bisexuality. It’s a misconception that Bi people are just gay people closeted or straight people experimenting. Bisexuality is a real sexuality and it needs to be respected as such no matter the relationship.
I used Bisexuality because I wanted people to think I could still date guys and I wouldn’t be discriminated against. But I wasn’t Bi, I was gay. And I knew it. Please don’t think my experience is the same for everyone. Bisexuality is a real sexuality, a real feeling that people have. And it’s valid whether you are dating a man or a woman.
At some point, something broke in me. I was tired of fighting it. I don’t remember the reason. Maybe it was my therapist telling me to be honest, the headache of living a lie, somehow I realized I that I was done not being me. And so...
I came out to my best friend by text. Tears in my eyes. I was met with overwhelming love and support. He told his family and I was met with so much love that way.
And then I told my family...who already KNEW. They had known since I was 12 and loved me no matter what. It was the sweetest thing, and I wish more than anything that I could go back and tell my past self that it would all be okay, to not care what other people think of me.
And if there is anything you can learn from this, it’s this.
You may be afraid to come out or you can’t. And that’s okay. You don’t have to come out for anyone other than yourself. There’s no set time on accepting who you are. For some, it takes their entire lives. You may think you’re one thing, but then you discover you’re something else, that’s okay too.
As I’ve always said, sexuality and identity are a rainbow, and a tricky one. But you will find your way. And no matter what, whether you are still in the closet or people don’t think your sexuality is real, you are valid, you are loved, and it does get better. And you CERTAINLY are welcome this Pride Month. <3
It got better for me, and now I wear my rainbow heart proudly for everyone to see. So I may never hide in that nasty closet again.
#jade rambles#sexuality#pride month#lesbian#coming out#tw: abuse#tw: anxious thoughts#love is love is love is love is love is love
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pros and Con of Countries - Written by two Americans (Who both live in Minnesota)
Canadia
Pros:
Marriage equality (the gays can get married!) (SINCE 2005!!!!) (YEAH!!!!!)
Free healthcare :0
People are truly friendly
Politics are lighthearted and easily run
Higher wages
They have a town called Regina
Money has little windows that when a laser pointer is shined through it, it shows the value on the wall
They hate Justin Bieber
I’m pretty sure Justin Bieber can’t go into Canada? So that’s good (that is good)
Avril Lavigne
AVRIL LAVIGNE (yeah shes great but why is she a pro 2 times) (cuz she’s a clone) (ohyea)
Its a themepark (what) (their money projects the amount on the wall, its monopoly money, its waterproof, and its a scratch and sniff….. Its a themepark)
GingerPale
Rei & Shane (and Rei’s cats)
Canada is one of the most gay-friendly countries in the world
Change of legal sex available in all provinces and territories
under varying rules without sexual reassignment surgery
Tim Horton’s (YEEEEE, now i want tim hortons, ive heard of it never had it, and now i want it) (it’s gooooood. One day we could drive down to Brainerd and get some) (THEY HAVE TIM HORTONS IN BRAINERD????/!111/1/1?1/1?!?!?!?) (ye) (WEEEENEEEEEDDDTTOOOOOGGOOOGOGOOO!!!!11!!!1!11!!!!!, LEAVE IT TO MINNESOTA OR AS WE KNOW IT, SOUTH CANADA, TO HAVE A TIM HORTONS)
Cons:
Higher cost of living
Snow. lots of fucking snow.
Their money??? Is weird???
Consumer choice is low (especially with Netflix. The Canadian library is half the size of America’s)
Environmental impact (they’re one of the top oil producers in the world)
They spell Canadien with an “e” (its Canadian you matherfeker)
Its kinda hard to get into Canada
*Chloe voice* they are not French they just PRETEND to be for ATTENTION. (wow)
A lot of people only speak French (thats pretty much the same for any country, they speak a different language)
How do you speak French (very difficultly, lots of vowels, slightly similar to italian and spanish)
Its a themepark
It doesn’t exist (vtru)
COLD
Sweden
Pros:
It’s very clean. Like, seriously.
Most attractive people in the world
The locals are anti-social
The Gay has been legal since 1944
Right to change legal gender since 1972,
No sterilization required since 2013
Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections
Gays can adopt
Gay marriage legal since 2009
the first country in the world to allow transgender people to legally correct their gender
HomO, was the Swedish office of the ombudsman against discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation (i think its a funny name)
after one year of abstaining from sex, gay and bi men can donate blood
Sweden is Europe's most gay-friendly country
Cons
Very high taxes
Can’t ask for directions no one will talk to you :(
The locals are anti-social (so am i)
Germnay
Pros:
Central hub makes it easy to travel to other european countries
Good healthcare
Very active, with fairs and parties
Oktoberfest is pretty lit i guess (you guess?) (I’ve never been to Oktoberfest but my friend from Germnay - fuck you - says it’s great)
Legal drinking age is 16
Rammstein
Furries (i’m not a furry i sWEAR) (are you sure about that??) (i dOnT kNoW)
Legal to be gay since 1968 East Germany and 1969 West Germany
Gay marriage legal since 2017
Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without required sterilisation and surgery
Sexual orientation and gender identity protection nationwide; some protections vary by region
Full adoption rights since 2017
gay and bisexual men have been allowed to donate blood, provided they haven't had sex for twelve months
83% of Germans support same-sex marriage
Cons:
Nearly everything is closed on sunday
Legal drinking age is 16
Germans dont get sarcasm
Finland
Pros:
They, unlike the Germans LOVE sarcasm
Very clean air
walk anywhere in nature at anytime
SEALS they have a special breed of seal native to finland
Very clear northern lights
They’re modest?
Extremists
Good heavy metal music apparently
People say they’re kind
Some of the most progressive lgbt laws in the world
Transgender people allowed to change legal gender, but only after sterilization
Sexual orientation and gender identity protections
Gay marriage is legal
Legal to be gay since 1971
one of the most LGBT-friendly countries in the world and public acceptance of LGBT people and same-sex relationships is high (lots of gays!!)
Cons:
CANCELLED, THEY HAVE FAT RARE SEALS
Norway (Richie’s fave country besides Canada)
Pros:
Snow is wet so you can actually do stuff with it (unlike MINNESOTA) (you CAN do stuff with minnesota snow!) (NO YOU CAN’T IT’S POWDERY AND WEIRD) (swhy you wait for wet snow or wait till it melts slightly, cause then its warm and thereswet snow) (NO) (yEEE) >:(
Norwegian elkhounds :0
People seem friendly?
Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender
Sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, intersex status protections
Gay marriage legal since 2009, Gender-neutral marriage has been legally recognized since 1 January 2009
Married and committed same-sex couples allowed to adopt
Gay is legal since 1972
1 year deferral period was implemented, gay and bisexual men can donate blood
generally gay-friendly
Cons:
Shrugs
COLD (VERY COLD)
Russia
Pros:
Furry coats are nice
Furry hats called ushanka
Babushka means grandma but buska means bitch
Vodka
The GayTM, Decriminalised in 1917; Re-criminalised in 1933; Legal since 1993
Legal gender change since 1997
But only after what they call ‘medical procedures’ (idk what they mean by that but i suspect surgERY)
Cons:
No gays allowed
Religion is bAD
Religion is GOOD
THEY CAN’T DECIDE???
ALSO COLD (SO COLD)
Too much snow
They like to destroy things? I saw two Russian guys put a stick of dynamite in the sewer and explode the road? Why? (BAD but thins going boom is fun, but not important things)
Vladimir Putin (yee, but we have sarah palin to watch him) (o shid u right)
Government is weird? You can get killed if you say you don’t like the tsar?
If you gay and live in ‘Murica you can’t adopt from Russia (fuck russia)
Communism I guess (thought you liked communism?) (to a degree. I like the idea of it but it’s also bad? Like you can’t/don’t own anything? Your dog is not your dog it is everyone’s dog? I do not like that my dog is mINE)
No discrimination protections
No recognition of gay relationships
tends to be among the most hostile toward homosexuality
Japan
Pros:
SHIBES!!!!! AKITAS!!!! FLUFFY DOGGIES!!!
Sakura trees :0
Pretty colors
Gay is legal, it was legalized in 1880
Very strict gun laws
Never had a school shooting EVER
2015 opinion poll found that a majority of Japanese support the legalisation of same-sex marriage
sex among consenting adults, in private, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender, is legal under Japanese law
Cons:
Killer bees (we dont like killer beeeees, NOT THEEEE BEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!) (the killer bees will kill you in a heartbeat)(bad bees…. , NONONONONONNOTJAPAN) (they only live in the forests tho. I think)(ILIKEFORESTS!!) (me too)
No nationwide recognition of same-sex relationships
No gay marriage
Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands
Pros:
All the gay is allowed
They have their own website you know it’s legit when they have their own website
Government is gay (everything there is gay) (shhhhhhhhhggSTOPITgggg)(NO)
Dingos
Cons:
Im pretty sure you cant permanently live there
It was technically at war with Australia for a while
Dingos (I want,,, to pet them,,, but they will bite me,,,)(i was gonna put them in the cons too if you didnt)
Kangaroos (vdangerous) (they scare me) (THEY SHOULD)
Greece (i like greece)
Pros:
Ruins
Anti-lgbt discrimination explicitly banned (ooo nice)
Food
Ocean!!!!!!! Ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean ocean!!!!!!!!! (SaME)
Goats :0
Male homosexuality has been legal since 1951, female homosexuality has always been legal (nICE)
Hate crimes laws covering all areas incl. sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics
school sex ed classes include segments on sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, homophobia and transphobia (NICE!!!!!)
Pride has been held since 2005, and has been held in most other moderate sized cities since 2010
Trans people's can legally change their gender without having to undergo sex reassignment surgery (NICE!!!!!!)
GAY CULTURE IS VERY VIBRANT
a 1982 law that legalized civil marriage between "persons", without specifying gender, acted as a test-case for same sex marriage
Since 2005, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace is prohibited.
A lot of boat traveling
Cons:
Quality of life is kind of falling apart
A lot of animals roam freely, which means LOTS of poop
Goat farmers (whats wrong with goat farmers) (they won’t let me pet their goats :( ) (really…. Thats why this is a con?) (yes. I’m a petty bich) (......) (i like goats. And i want to pet them. If you do not let me pet your goats I will be sad [and kinda mad because I want to love them])
Lots of fucking goat cheese
Too close to Italy (whats wrong with italy???) (too friendly. It’s suspicious) (OMFG SERIOUSLY???) (YOU PUT THE FACT THAT CANADA SPELLS CANADIAN WITH AN “E” IN THE CONS) (thats because it iS A CON!!!!! CANADIAN IS SPEELED WITH AN “A”) (NOT IN CANADA)
The Netherlands
Pros:
quite strict gun laws, not seen as a right, but a privilege (????) (you wanted strict gun laws, they have really strict gun laws, its a privilege to have guns, and only for hunting and target shooting, not for self defence, or for other things at all) (nice!)
Homosexuality legalized in 1811 (holy shid)(yeeee)
Gay marriage legal since 2001 (i was born in 2001, they knew i was coming) (I was born in 2000)
The first country to legalize gay marriage (I approve)
banned discrimination on sexual orientation on the grounds of employment, housing, public accommodations, and more.
Lesbians can get IFV (???)(in vitro fertilization, they implant a fertilized egg so they can carry their own child, instead of just adopting)
Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender, only after a diagnosis but without surgery or hormone therapy
. Amsterdam has frequently been named one of the most LGBT friendly cities in the world
Homomonument, was the first monument in the world to commemorate homosexuals who were persecuted and killed during World War II (this is so cool)
85% of the Dutch population supported same-sex marriage and adoption as of 2013
Cons:
Cold? I think?
Republic of Ireland
Pros:
Ireland (nice pro) (thanks)
first country to legalise same-sex marriage on a national level by popular vote
Affordable for any budget
Entitled to 20 days of leave
Yes, transgender people can change legal gender by self-declaration since 2015
Safe, with few guns
Less police
Lots of pubs
Speak English (this was a pro on a website) (IT IS A PRO I ONLY SPEAK SPANGLISH) (Spanglish) (YES SPANGLISH , DONT BE A DIC) (I can’t be what I don’t have)
Fear nothing and no one
Gay marriage legal since 2015
Low crime rate
Cons:
In a fight with Northern Ireland because they don’t want to be ruled by England but Northern Ireland does. Now Northern Ireland is a separate country.
The potato famine (I like potatos) (exactly)
Bad weather
Less police
Not much of a non-alcohol social scene
Fear nothing and no one
The Philippines
Pros:
Have to be at least 21, and pass a background check to be issued a Possession License for guns
If you’re a foreigner and you have a gun, you’re going to go to prison.
They are poised to make stricter gun laws
LGB allowed in the military
Low cost of living
GORGEOUS!!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!!
The Family Code of the Philippines says that marriage is “a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman,” but The Constitution does not prohibit same-sex marriage
One of the most gay-friendly countries in the world
Is the most gay-friendly country in Asia
Cons:
Can’t donate blood if you gay. You will give them The GayTM. (don’t drink the tap water)
Drug problems
Healthcare problems in some areas
Tagalog is very complicated to learn
Malta
Pros:
Transgender people can change gender with or without surgery
Homosexuality legal since 1973
Gay marriage legal since 2017
ban on anti-gay discrimination in employment
sexual orientation and gender identity protections
the first country in the European Union to prohibit the use of conversion therapy
Cons:
Gay and bi men in Malta are not allowed to donate blood
Though there’s talk to change that law
Poland
Pros:
In Warsaw they have a Hatsune Miku statue
Never illegal to be gay
Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender.
one of few countries where sexually active gay and bisexual men are not legally restricted from donating blood. (give them The GayTM, drink that dam tap water)
Cons:
Apply to high schools
School is weird
Gay marriage is banned (wHAT) (I KNOW! Im sad too) (what if you’re gay married BEFORE moving to Poland) (idk are you planning to get gay married?, also … i dont remember waht i was gonna say) (no i’m just thinking about all the other gays who might move to Poland)
United Kingdom
Pros:
The Queen (YEEEE!!!)
Always legal for women to be gay; decriminalised for men in: 1967 England and Wales, 1981 Scotland, 1982 Northern Ireland
Right to change legal gender since 2005
Gay marriage since 2014, not in northern ireland
All discrimination protections since 2010; some existed since 2003 for sexual orientation and 1999 for gender identity
Tea
Crumpets
Cons:
Under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, transgender people who are married have been required to divorce or annul their marriage in order for them to be issued with a GRC. (??????? wtf????) (ikr, its kind of very mean)
The legislation of gay marriage also does not restore any of the marriages of transgender people that were forcibly annulled as a precondition for them securing a GRC
What time is it? ...ITS SEVEN BONG!! (you know they don’t actually tell time like this, right?) (IDONTCARE)
Still #salty about the Revolution (VERY)
BISCUITS (NO!!) (aka cookies in America) (FUCK BISCUITS)
conversion therapy remains legal in the UK (NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO) (IKR LIKE FUCK THAT)
Rains a lot
France
Pros:
Baguette (noice)
DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY
Legal to be gay since 1791 (no wonder Lafayette was like how he was)
Transgender people allowed to change legal gender without surgery
Sexual orientation and gender identity protections
Gay marriage legal since 2013
amendment to existing anti-discrimination legislation, making homophobic, sexist, racist, xenophobic etc. comments illegal.
gay and bisexual men in France can donate blood after 1 year of abstinence
Transsexuality declassified as an illness
Cons:
Lots of crime? (from what I’ve heard)
Denmark
Pros:
Gay is legal since 1933
Transgender persons allowed to change legal gender without a diagnosis, hormone therapy, surgery or sterilization
Sexual orientation and gender identity/expression protections
Full adoption since 2010
Gay marriage legal since 2012
Gays in military since 1978
Lesbians can get IFV
Laws against hate speech for seual orientation
Lgbt sex ed and relationships taught in schools
Cons:
Iceland
Pros:
Legal to be gay since 1940
Transgender people allowed to change gender without surgery
Gay marriage since 2010
No standing army
Sexual orientation protections
Both full joint and stepchild adoption allowed
2016, Icelandic President participated in the Reykjavik Pride Parade
the first Icelandic President to attend a gay pride parade
Cons:
No standing army
currently unable to donate blood in Iceland
Though they are wanting to remove the ban
Greenland
Pros:
The GayTM has been legal since 1933
Sexual orientation protection laws
outlawed hate speech on the basis of sexual orientation
Gay marriage and full adoption rights since 2016
Cons:
Cant donate blood
trans people cant legally change gender (fACK YA GENDA RULES)
This is all we got for now, but if anyone has any input or tidbits about these countries that wasn’t listed, that you think is important (especially if you live in said countries, send one of us a message, we’ll add it asap! (most likely me, because im on more often and as such am more likely to check my messages) Sorry for the extremely long post!
#longpost#Very long post#countries#things written in parenthesis are our commentary#bold (if you can even see the bold#If you cant... have fun guessing whos wo) I'm bold#non bold is @Richie-spacedust#I swear it started mostly serious#then it devolved into memos jokes references and a lot of gay#send us anything you think we need to add#sorry for how long this is
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 47
Thurs 20th Feb
Phil up super early (a bit hungry maybe?) and was keen for breakfast. We had our usual and Phil suggested we walk round to the bay one up from ours. As the official tour guide of ‘Phil & Jess do Africa 2020’, I couldn’t really argue. We found a path on the end of the beach and followed the coastline edge to see where it took us.
It was a cute little path and within 5 minutes we spotted something in the distance that was a bit of a surprise.
Four camels were stood at the top of a hill, grazing on the plants and seemingly free to roam. Alrighty then...
We walked through a little bay and up the hill to get closer and being the ace ventura pet detective that I am I could instantly identifying them as one hump camels 🐪🐪🐪🐪😎.
After enjoying watching these absolute weirdos eating with their sideways mouths and standing on their extremely long legs, we continued trying to find the path to this unknown destination.
I found a route that looked doable and we found ourselves on a derelict concrete site with a big abandoned swimming pool that now resembled a pond. It was right on the edge of this new bay and would have been an amazing spot for a hotel or holiday home. I wondered what had happened to get it to this sorry state.
We found some steps to lead us down to the beach and thats when we noticed more derelict buildings on the land overlooking the beach. They ran all the way along the coast. There were so many empty concrete huts and buildings, it looked like the kind of place you’d make into a paintballing site,. We spoke to some locals who said it was a popular resort in the 60s-80s but there was a ‘money problem‘. It was a crazy amount of wasted space on a beautiful beach with lots of tourists around. Seemed mad to think it had gone from hero to zero in such a popular destination.
Anyway, the water was crystal clear and we could see the tide was out and we could walk to the mini islands and beaches a short distance away. Despite having a bag to carry (good exercise that though Phil) we walked out to sea and is was soooo niiiiiiiiiicce.
The water was cooler than in our bay which made it so much nicer and we reached a little beach next to a big rock island. I did my sea cow impression again and then let Phil have a try (he was surprisingly good at it). We left our stuff on a sand bank and tucked it towards the rock so it was nicely in the shade. And bloody lucky we did too, as the tide came up SUPER fast without us realise it. We casually went back to get our stuff and as we got closer we realised we were about 3 minutes away from it all getting soaked. What a save.
We went to head back and I figured we’d have to walk round the coast again (plus I was missing the camels obvs) but Phil wanted to trying and walk through the town. Hmm I was not convinced this would be the fastest, but Phil was adamant he wanted to try it. The street was dusty and empty and I had a lot of sand stuck to my feet (it may surprise you to know that I really hate sand on my feet unless I’m literally on the beach) and it did not look like a quick way home. But I saw a guy on a bike nip down a little alleyway and thought Hmmm so had a little check on Phil’s phone to see - and by jove it appeared to be that Phil was absolutely right and this would soon get us to the village quick sharp. WHAT A JOYOUS OCCASION THIS WAS TURNING OUT TO BE.
It really was one of the best shortcuts of recent times and I just want to formally take this opportunity to thank and praise Phil for making it happen. Girl loves a shortcut.
As soon as we got back sweaty from the walk, we didn’t stop and walked straight into the pool to cool off. But obviously the water is always boiling in the pool so we quickly got out to hide in the shade.
Hunger appeared rapid though so we went back to the restaurant street to visit our new favourite Swahili place. Big sign saying CLOSED. Oh god DEVESTATED. In a panic, we went to the nice pizza place - Makuti - but they forgot to put cheese on my pizza which was ANNOYING. How could this happen!? So I had to wait for another one. Phil’s marinara with onion and garlic was good though so I ate a load of that.
I went for a walk to buy myself a dress (NOT REALLY that was just a cover story, god I’m so clever, I walked off to see my mate and collect Phil’s shirt).
It was ready on the table when I got there. Very nicely made it was too. But they’d added some hard material to the collar to make it stiff...and it was really quite an orange yellow colour...the pocket material that I’d chosen had also been added round the collar as a detail and it looked a bit like a 90s Paul Smith summer shirt reject...god I’m really not sure he’s going to like this one but we shall see on the 24th 😂
Seeing as these tailor folks were on a roll, I decided to order a few headbands for him too as he’d mentioned he needed one for running. Another present in the bag oh yeah. I found a few scraps of material in the shop and couldn’t decide which one was the least rank, so ordered 3 different ones for $5.
On the way back, I saw some nice trousers (for me) but they must have been children’s sizes as I couldn’t get them over my arse. I did find a square bandana material for $1.50 and it was exactly what Phil was looking for as a neck cover so grabbed that as a little pre-bday gift. I gave it to Phil as soon as I got back and he was really pleased with it. As soon as I saw it on him though, I got a flashback and realised it might be a little bit...gay. I’m not saying that in a derogatory sense, just in a factual sense - I had a vague memory that this type of scarf was a sort of gay symbol. So we sent a video to Nick and Louis quick sharp and awaited the results.
Before dinner, we went to the beach for a drink and I took my iPad to try and do some art. Of course within minutes, some kids came over to look and suddenly we had 10 children surrounding us. I didn't fancy letting them have a go to be honest but Phil reminded me about the face warp photo booth app and so I put it on and faced the camera to the kids. Honest to god, these kids lost their shit. They were HOWLING with laughter. A local bloke came over (tipsy for sure) and they got him to look at the camera and when he saw his warped face, he was so shocked that the kids went wild with laughter. 😂😂😂 It was very very funny.
we walked back to town and crossed our fingers the Swahili place would be open. It wasn’t, so we just went back to Makuti and decided to give a pasta a go. After some entertainment of a stroppy old Italian man refused to move tables and stormed out of the restaurant, we had a pizza (WITH CHEESE) and spaghetti arrabiata with our signature blob of mayonnaise to accompany each dish. We successfully managed to avoid eye contact with any Italians in close proximity while consuming said mayo with their beloved cuisine. Look, its better with mayonnaise I swear. While sat there, a troop of 3 men appeared in the street and did some mental circus tricks and acrobatics. It was incredible, at one point a man was upside down with his head balanced on another mans head and NO HANDS. Evie & Meg would have looooooved it.
Walked home past the little beauty salon at the end of our street and noticed on the sign they offered a service called a MANCURE. Wondered what this treatment entailed and how much they charged for it, as I knew quite a few people who might benefit.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
icantgetitright-sinceimetyou
transform the earth to your desire
norvstforthvwickvd
NORVSTFORTHVWICKVD
curlyswiftie98
August girl- the eras tour bsas
little-archivist
jonathan sims apologist
bestclevelandcardealers-blog
Cleveland Better Car Bureau