#the amount of times i listened to the apology song in this movie
Text
Close Enough - Russell Shaw x Reader
Summary: When you'd met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn't need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader; Russell Shaw x Female!FBI Special Agent!Reader
A/N: Sequel to So Close. I wanted to follow up and reveal what happened between Russell and the reader in the past but as I was writing it, this idea popped into my head in addition to that and I just had to see where it went. This was the end result lol. Hope it's okay.
Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I still have not seen Tracker (besides 1x12) because I just haven't had the time for a proper binge yet so if I got some things wrong about Colter and his experience in the show, I apologize.
Also, I always like to throw the disclaimer out there anytime I write something related to the universe of law enforcement: I have never worked in law enforcement so I tried to piece together things I’ve seen and heard in true crime documentaries and podcasts alongside with movies/tv and books. I apologize for any inconsistencies, incorrect information, exaggerations, or complete fallacies. Basically, I made shit up.
Songs I listened to while writing: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye; Easy Living by Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty; Sweet Dreams by Patsy Cline; Sounds of Someday by Radio Company
Warnings: sanctioned assassination; death; gun violence; violence/blood mention; mention of dead bodies; arson; implied sex; a very, very tiny amount of smut(ish); language (I guess?)
Word Count: 16K+
Russell Taglist: @deangirl96 (I hope you don't mind me tagging you in this one; this is going to lead into the series that I mentioned); @avada-kedavra-bitch-187
Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Please do not do any of the above. Thank you for your understanding.
Your phone started to buzz and you glanced at the screen, rolling your eyes and letting out a sigh before picking up. That wasn’t the normal reaction you would have to seeing Colter’s name pop up on your phone but ever since that mess back at the morgue yesterday, you had been hoping he wouldn’t contact you again. At least not until his brother went back to whatever hole he’d crawled out of. But now it looked like that had been a fool’s hope, on both counts.
“You what?” You hissed.
“We’re about to head to this home in the Blue Ridge Mountains and go in to get Doug,” he repeated.
“I’m sorry, an incredible amount of stupid just sounded in my ear. Can you repeat that?”
“Reenie got me the location and it’s solid intel.” He lowered his voice. “Look, I thought we should get law enforcement involved, alright? But there’s a…valid reason why Russ doesn’t want to call them that I can’t get into right now.”
“Whoops, more stupid. One more time?”
Colter groaned into the phone. “Come on, Y/N.”
“I’m serious, Colter. What the hell are either of you think—wait, scratch that. What the hell are you thinking? Going into a dangerous location like that without any backup? If Carlos Solano found your missing man in a safehouse, do you think he won’t be armed to the teeth? That he won’t have guards patrolling the compound that you’re walking right into? That he won’t see something like this coming? You guys are walking right into a shitstorm.” Christ, you loved the guy like a long-lost brother that you sometimes kept in touch with but if he were in front of you right now, you would’ve delivered one good smack to the back of his head to get him thinking straight. Colter may know his way around a gun, but he wasn’t someone who had formal training or combat experience like Russell did. He didn’t even have your training and you wouldn’t be going in there kamikaze-style like they were.
“That’s why I’m calling you and asking you to meet us there. I’m not exactly calling in law enforcement but we’ll have one more person to watch our backs and help us search for Doug. And who better than a special agent with the FBI?”
You sat back in your chair, shaking your head but thinking it over. This was beyond stupid and you shouldn’t be encouraging it. Russell’s involvement in this idiot plan didn’t surprise you; Colter’s did. He knew better. But you also knew that if he thought he had a chance to get the missing guy back home safely, he was going to take it, no matter the personal risk. If you didn’t go like he asked and anything happened to him or Russell, you’d never forgive yourself.
“Please?”
You pinched the bridge of your nose between your thumb and forefinger, your decision made. “Send me the location and I’ll leave now to meet you.”
“Thank you.” You could hear the genuine gratitude in his tone. “I promise I’ll explain everything.”
“You better,” you nearly growled before disconnecting the call. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to tell you but for his sake, you hoped it wasn’t anything close to what you were thinking. But why else would Russell not want to call law enforcement for help in rescuing his friend who had been taken hostage by a foreign criminal? God, you hoped you were wrong.
You let out another loud sigh and before you could stand, your phone started ringing again. When you glanced at the screen, instead of a name, you saw “Blocked”. Not good.
You swiped green, holding it to your ear. “Y/L/N.”
“We have a problem,” said the voice on the other end, one you knew all too well, and it didn't sound happy. Shit.
You watched as Colter’s truck pulled up alongside your car. Colter got out and noticed you leaning against your trunk, arms crossed and a scowl in place. Russell came around from the other side.
“Either of you boys see two suicidal idiots around here? Oh, wait.”
Russell’s jaw tightened. “It wasn’t my idea to call you.” He slid a glare over to his brother.
“You’re lucky he did,” you snapped. “And since I’m here,” You got to your feet and turned to open your trunk, revealing a smorgasbord of gear and weapons. “We’re going to be doing this my way.” You held out a bulletproof vest to Colter first and he immediately started to strap it on. You held one out to Russell but he shook his head and didn’t take it. You glanced over to find he had already put his own on while you’d been grabbing one for his brother.
“Okay, look,” Russell started, his eyes scanning your makeshift armory and setting your teeth on edge. “This isn’t some FBI raid of some drug gang. This guy, Carlos Solano, he’s the real deal. He’s as dangerous as they come.”
You could feel your irritation turning into anger at the suggestion that you didn’t know how serious this was, and from him of all people. “And what am I? Some part-time mall security guard? A receptionist at the Academy? I’ve dealt with cartels before and they’re as dangerous as they come, too. So take that mansplaining and shove it right up where the sun doesn't shine.”
Russell took a step closer and laid a hand on your shoulder, his eyes burning into you. “Be pissed at me all you want but I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“But you’re okay with your brother getting hurt?” You briefly glanced in Colter’s direction. The younger man was watching you two carefully as he adjusted his vest one last time, wisely choosing to stay out of this one.
Russell’s jaw clenched and he dropped his hand. “I’ve got him.”
You snorted and grabbed a gun, loading it quickly. “And I’ve got both of you. Now, we’ve got a bit of a hike so let’s cut the chit chat and get this over with, shall we?” You motioned for Colter to turn around and you inserted an extra handgun into the back of his belt. “We stick together as a unit. You hear me? No wandering off alone.”
Colter faced you again. “Yes, Mom,” he teased.
You swatted at his shoulder before checking the fit of his vest, nodding in approval.
“I have done this before, you know.”
You knew that already. You’d been there with him a couple of times for such instances. “Good for you,” you quipped. “But for kicks, how about you just humor me?”
He rolled his eyes and you smirked, turning to slam the trunk shut. You glanced up to find Russell watching you, his jaw still tight but his eyes containing a familiar light that you hadn’t seen in a while. “You good?”
“Yep.” And just like that, the light hollowed out, replaced by something far colder yet familiar, but not because you’d seen it in his gaze. You’d seen it often enough in your own when looking into the mirror.
Pushing that thought away and shifting focus, you began to lead the way into the trees. “Alright, let’s do this and get Doug home in time for breakfast.” Colter flanked you on your right while Russell came up on your left.
“Let’s rock and roll,” he agreed.
It hadn’t been as bad as you’d been expecting, even after you’d received the intel Colter had referred to on the phone. One guard and three henchmen. You were annoyed and almost insulted that they had presented so little a challenge considering Carlos Solano was supposed to be this big bad criminal. But when you glanced over and saw Colter looking over Russell’s bloody jacket sleeve, you regretted the thought and gratitude immediately filled you that things hadn’t been worse. Russell had taken a bullet to the arm and thankfully, it had passed right through.
Before you could shoot the bastard that shot him, Colter and Russell were on it. You watched in awe as the brothers moved as a single unit, almost as if they hadn’t been strained or missed a beat over the years. You supposed you should be happy that they were working together rather than still arguing over shit from a lifetime ago that had torn their family apart. For Colter’s sake at least.
Just then, you heard what sounded like a small plane outside. You hurried to a window and glanced outside, seeing a rapidly descending charter plane aiming for the tiny landing strip in the back of the property. Right on time.
You let the curtain fall and looked back at the guys. “Time to go.”
Doug’s face was ashen while Colter and Russell exchanged glances. Immediately, Russell picked up his gun and got ready to leave the room.
You rushed to stop him. “There will be none of that!”
“You guys get Doug back to the truck. I’ll handle this.”
You practically jogged around him, planting yourself in his path. “Not happening.”
He glared down at you. “Y/N, I need to close this up. Move.”
You scowled right back. “You’ve been shot.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I have to finish this.”
You refused to budge. “You are not finishing anything. You’re getting the hell out of here, that’s what you’re doing.”
“Y/N—”
“Guys, not the time,” Colter interceded. “He’s getting off that plane any second now, so what’s the plan?”
“She’s right, man,” Doug added, making both of your gazes snap over at him. “We really need to go.”
Voices suddenly sounded outside and you all glanced towards the window.
“Shit,” you muttered, quickly checking the chamber on your gun. As you were about to head out of the room, a hand grasped gently under your chin and forced your eyes to meet Russell’s. You could see the pleading there but also a stone-cold resignation. “Go with Colter and Doug,” he urged, giving you a brief but strained smile. “I need you to go.” You felt the rough skin of his thumb on your cheek as he moved it tenderly back and forth.
You knew what he was really telling you, what he planned to do, but hell if you weren’t more infuriated with him. You were so sick of the self-sacrificial bullshit. Hadn’t it cost you enough? Cost you both?
You pulled away from him, giving him a glare. “I don’t think you understand,” you said in a tone so cold you were pretty sure you could give the winds in Antarctica a run for their money. “I’m taking Solano in and I am not leaving until I have my suspect alive and in custody.” Russell looked pissed but you couldn’t care less. Better than him being dead in the next two minutes.
You turned to face Colter and Doug so they also got the message. “This case is under Federal jurisdiction now.” Colter glanced between you and his brother who you turned back to face. “I’m bringing him in. Got it?”
Russell went to say something but didn’t get the chance. The sounds of gunfire erupted right outside the room and you all had to duck for cover.
You secured your handcuffs around Carlos Solano’s wrists that had been forced behind his back once you shoved him into the chair in the room, purposely tightening the metal bracelets past the point of comfort. The man reacted, cursing you out as you smirked up at him.
Getting to your feet, you focused on the Shaws and Doug. Russell watched you with a glare while Colter waited for you to speak. Doug looked downright terrified. They had helped you to take down Solano’s men who had flown with him — all three of them. Russell aimed for Solano but at the last second, you got in his way and tackled the criminal to the ground. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with you. Oh well. The feeling was mutual.
Colter placed his hands on his hips. “Alright, so how are we getting him back to the truck? Are we just going to drag him through the woods and hope we don’t come across anybody else he might have coming here? How are we going to work this?”
You slipped your gun back into your holster. “He doesn’t have anyone else coming here and the plan is that you three are going to head back to the truck and get out of here. I’m going to wait for a pickup,” You gestured towards the window with your thumb where the landing strip could be seen. “They’re nearby, waiting for my call, and they won’t take long to get here.” You shook your phone in your hand, indicating you were going to be using it.
Russell glanced around, as if expecting Agents to start popping up out of the woodworks at any second, before his eyes settled back on you. “So you called this in after all?”
You shrugged. “You were going into a fully armed compound to rescue a hostage, a two-man team against a crime lord on the FBI’s Most Wanted list? Yeah, of course, I did.”
He shook his head, chuckling and muttering a curse under his breath. “Of course you did,” he echoed, shooting a look over at his brother.
Colter’s gaze flickered back to you. “We’ll wait with you until they get here.”
You offered up a small smile. “I appreciate it but not necessary. I’ve got this until they get here and I do the handover.”
“But—”
“Look, you should get Doug out of here.” You inclined your head in the direction of the man who was staring dazedly at the floor. “You need to get him checked out and your brother should get his arm looked at.”
“I’m fine,” Russell interjected.
You ignored him. “I’ll be alright, Colter. Believe it or not, you tend to get experience with this kind of thing once or twice before becoming a Special Agent.” You meant it as a light-hearted reassurance but you could tell that both Shaw brothers were going to be a hard sell. At least Colter’s reasoning was up front and above board.
“I’m sure but I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. Not with him.” Colter gestured towards Solano who spit in his direction.
“I won’t be for long. But you guys need to get out of here. The Bureau can’t know you were involved in this.” You shot him a meaningful look. “For multiple reasons.”
The younger man looked as if he was going to protest again when you held up a hand. “Colter. You may not like it but you need to do as I’m telling you. If the Bureau finds any of you here…” You could tell that he didn’t care so much about himself but you let your eyes briefly flick in Russell’s direction, who was busy glaring at the man you had bound to the chair. You saw Colter’s expression immediately change and you knew you had succeeded in convincing him to vacate the area as soon as possible.
He nodded his head in assent. “Okay.” He laid a hand on Doug’s shoulder, prompting the man to look up at him, and urged him to start moving to the door.
“Okay? What do you mean okay?” Russell huffed.
Colter held up a hand. “Russell—”
“No.” Russell turned a glare on you. “Not okay. He’s a loose end that needs tying up. He knows who we are now, he came after Doug, and the FBI isn’t going to do shit with him.” You narrowed your eyes in a glare but he continued. “That’s not an insult. It’s the truth and you know it. They’re going to what? Get him to talk, to roll over on someone else he has connections to who’s higher up their food chain, and he gets off scot free? No, not happening on my watch.”
He took a step forward and so did you, in front of Solano. You drew your gun but held it loosely across your waist, your finger on the trigger, ready and waiting should you need it. Russell stopped cold, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and the weapon in your hand. Colter and Doug were frozen, watching the scene unfold.
“I told you,” you said in the most deadly serious tone you could muster. “I’m taking him in, alive. If you have a problem with that, well…” You flipped the safety on the gun off. “You’ll have to go through me. And I promise you, my aim is a hell of a lot more accurate at close range than it’s ever been.”
Russell didn’t blink, he just kept scowling at you.
“Russ?” Colter called.
“Don’t make me kill you in front of him, Russell,” you murmured so only the two of you would hear. You were serious as a heart attack. No matter how you had felt about him once upon a time, this was important enough for you to make good on your threat if you needed to.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would and it will be justified by the higher ups as protection of a high-valued target before your body goes cold.” You hated saying the words but it was nothing but the truth that you spoke. You hoped he heard the message underneath your words: walk away, this isn’t worth dying over. “And he’ll be further traumatized,” you inclined your head in Colter’s direction. “Losing his brother right in front of him, just like he lost his dad.” You knew that was a severely low blow but he also needed to hear you.
As expected, Russell’s jaw clenched and you saw a twitch in the good arm he had, the one that was holding his gun. “Don’t be stupid and do that to him,” you warned. “Walk away.”
That cold look was back in his eyes again. You mentally prepared yourself for what was about to go down. You had hoped he wouldn’t force your hand but then again, Russell Shaw had always been the epitome of stubborn, usually to his own detriment…and yours.
“Russell?” Colter tried again.
“Russ, come on, man. Let it be for now,” Doug added in, trying to help. “And let’s regroup.”
This time, Russell appeared to hear them both, his gaze breaking from yours momentarily, flickering over Solano behind you, who was laughing and smirking in the former’s direction, clearly enjoying the standoff over him.
Russell’s eyes met yours again but this time, there was nothing familiar about the green you used to stare into when he’d sway with you on the dance floor to a slow song playing overhead or when you’d both wear matching sated grins and laugh, a pleasant exhaustion overtaking you as he pulled you into his arms in a motel bed. It was almost like staring into a dark void and you couldn’t help but wonder how often that void showed up during war or if the war created it — the old chicken or the egg question. Either way, you knew you’d succeeded in convincing him to leave, but you’d also have to watch yourself. There was no warmth left in those jade-colored orbs when they focused on you. You’d done your work well; you’d crossed a line that you could never go back from.
“Alright,” he capitulated, loud enough that the two men near the doorway heard him. He relaxed his arm and slipped his gun into a pocket in his vest. His face lightened a little and a strained smile worked its way across his face. He glanced back at his brother. “She’s right. We should get Doug out of here.” He turned back to face you, his smile fading. “She’s got this.” He then glanced in Solano’s direction, smirking right back. “I’ll see you soon,” he promised, giving him a finger gun and winking, before his expression became stone once more and he walked away, glaring at you as he did.
You lifted your chin, not reacting in the slightest, until Solano shouted out, “You’ll be seeing me? No, puta, I’ll be seeing you. You’ll never see it coming, you hear me? You’ll never see it co—” You spun a few degrees and pistol-whipped him, causing the jackass to cry out in pain before you turned back to face Doug and the two most important men in your life. “Get going,” you growled out, lifting your phone with your other hand as a subtle threat.
Colter gave you a nod, the concern still there in his dark brown gaze as he led Doug out the door. Russell’s eyes never left you, even when he walked out the door a moment later, following his little brother’s lead. You never looked away even when he was past the threshold.
You ignored Solano’s yelling threats and kept your eyes on the spot you had last seen the Shaws disappear through a few minutes longer than needed, tense and ready in case Russell decided to double back. Though you highly doubted he’d come at you from the same angle. A part of you was making sure you stayed prepared in case there was an ambush, yes, but another part of you knew your gaze was lingering on the spot because you knew things had now drastically changed between you and Russell forever. He would never forgive your threats and you would never forgive yourself for having to make them. Though that remorse was more related to Colter than his brother. Regardless, when it came to the Shaws now, you were fucked. Not even Dory would want to hear from you, not that she had all that much before, but now it was definitely a no go. And that saddened you tremendously.
Hearing more of Solano’s threats, you recentered your focus on the task at hand and prepared to wait, giving him one more pistol whip for good measure, before you settled in and kept both eyes and ears open for any possible ambush that might come your way before you could finish up here.
You leaned against the workstation next to the chair, waiting, gun still in hand and your eyes focused on it. You had waited a certain amount of time to allow the boys to get out of the area.
“The soldado was right, you know. They’re not going to hold me,” Solano bragged.
You briefly closed your eyes in annoyance. He had been talking ever since you were left alone with him. He had offered you money to let him go, offered you riches and power that you knew for a fact he had no business offering. He even had the nerve to propose making you one of his new lieutenants, citing your fighting skills and gun handling that he’d briefly witnessed. He knew you would be able to protect him because you had from the asesinos who had killed his brother. He then changed tactics, threatening you, your loved ones, the men who just left…now, he was boasting about how he would walk free and whatever charges were thrown at him wouldn’t stick. You just wished he would shut the hell up already. Needless to say, it had been a long twenty minutes. You now understood why his brother had been the businessman and he was only the muscle willing to do the dirty work. His bargaining skills were for shit, not that it mattered in the scheme of things. No deals were being made today.
“I offer them a little bit of money and they’ll just make the case go away. Just like that.”
You checked your watch. Twenty two minutes now. That was good enough. You slowly got to your feet and moved past him to look out the window. You had purposely moved his chair out of the sight of the glass, in case Russell got any ideas.
“That’s how it works here in America. Everybody knows that. If the criminals have money and power, they don’t stay in jail.”
You ignored him, glancing around to see if there was any movement outside. You didn’t see any.
“They won’t keep me locked up. They weren’t able to in my home country. What makes you think they’ll be able to here? Where corruption is ripe and anyone can be bought? And then I’ll be coming for you and for your friends. You will wish for death long before I am through with you.”
You made your way to another window, lifting the curtain and looking around. Still nothing.
“There’s no point in bringing me to jail. It will never hold me.”
You lowered the curtain and squared your shoulders, turning to face his direction. You focused on him, staring right into his eyes. “You know, I think you’re right.”
Solano seemed pleasantly surprised for a moment, thinking you were finally stupid enough to take one of his offers, before his eyes narrowed with realization. “No, wait—”
You quickly lifted your gun and squeezed off a round. His head snapped back from the force and the space behind him was spattered with red among other things. One glance confirmed your aim had been accurate; he was dead. Right through the eye. What you’d said to Russell earlier hadn’t been an exaggeration; you were much more accurate at close range than you’d ever been.
You slipped a pair of gloves on that you pulled from your pants pocket and immediately started unzipping the small compartments on the side of your vest where you usually kept extra ammo in a raid, pulling out small white bottles that weren’t sporting any labels. You began to squirt the liquid from inside them all around the room, dousing Solano’s body with a healthy amount.
You continued into the house, having quite a few bottles of lighter fluid to empty out in specific areas that would help achieve your goal. Arson wasn’t your preferred route but it did get rid of pesky little things like hair and DNA, and what it didn’t, it contaminated which would make it harder for not only law enforcement but the justice system to work with. Though you weren’t too worried about either looking at this particular house fire too closely.
You didn’t bother collecting any bullet casings, knowing that your gun and the ones you’d given Colter to use would be untraceable even if they somehow managed to get a hold of any of the weapons (which they wouldn’t). And Russell’s gun…you figured he had that handled. The only thing you did collect were your handcuffs.
You also didn’t bother staging anything for the scene. There was already enough evidence that pointed to the theory that Solano’s own men had turned on him and a gunfight ensued, resulting in the multiple dead bodies. While an arson specialist would most likely be able to tell that an accelerant had been used, there was no way for them to confirm just who had been present for this battle and who had gotten away. Satellite imagery would be shoddy at best due to the foliage cover (and eventual smoke) but still, you planned to set the fire and make your getaway out the back, crossing over the landing strip so if they went back to look for any heat signatures after the fire started, it would be one person leaving the scene alive, the person they would assume had started the blaze. There were no nearby neighbors to immediately call first responders but that didn’t mean smoke wouldn’t be seen from the sky from miles away or that a fiery orange blaze in the distance wouldn’t be noticed by residents of another vacation home or cars traveling the backroads in the area. Since you planned to go into the deep woods and take the long roundabout route back to your car, you weren’t too worried about your path being followed.
Once you had completed all of your tasks, you used the fireplace to help, moving the grate out of the way, starting a fire, and then knocking a fiery log onto the wooden flooring. You used a lighter to set flammable materials that you could find to add to the flames. Only when the room was nearly engulfed did you finally slip a beanie from your pocket, cover your head fully, and make your way out of the house. Once at the landing strip, you ducked under the plane, making sure you couldn’t be seen from above.
You watched as the flames consumed the house. Once the smoke was sufficient, flames were ragings out of the windows, and the sound of breaking glass could be heard, you knew it was time for you to vacate the vicinity before the sirens started up. It was fortunate that most people were asleep at this hour but the sun was due to come up not too long from now and you had a long trek ahead of you, so you needed to get moving.
You kept your head down and made your way into the woods surrounding the property line.
The sun was breaching the horizon and quickly warming the sky by the time you made it back to your car. You were relieved that Colter’s truck was gone and you needed to quickly make tracks as well. Sirens had started up an hour ago and you needed to get the hell out of Dodge before the cops were all over these roads. You tossed your weapons and vest into the trunk and got in the car. You slipped your beanie off your head, tossing it onto the seat next to you, and started the engine.
Just as you had expected, cops were everywhere but thankfully, you had timed it just right and gotten out before they could block all of the mountain roads. Once you were back in town a few hours later and a certain distance away, you pulled a phone out of your glove compartment you kept there for emergencies and turned it on. You pressed a button and it immediately dialed the number programmed — the only number you had saved on this device.
It rang once before the same voice from yesterday picked up. “Is it done?”
“We’re clear,” you confirmed. “It’s been handled.”
“Shaw?”
Your jaw clenched. You knew that despite how you and Russell had left things earlier, you would do whatever it took to keep him breathing. “He’s a soldier. He follows orders.”
“He wasn’t so willing to follow orders in this situation.”
“You know what they’re taught. Leave no man behind. He got his man so he’ll be fine. Things can go back to how they were. He’s not going to be an issue and he’s clean, just like you wanted.”
And then you were asked the one question you didn’t want to hear. “And the brother? What’s your assessment?”
The knuckles of your free hand gripped your steering wheel so tightly that you could see how white your skin turned from the pressure. “Non-issue. He has no interest in you.”
“He seemed interested yesterday.”
You forced yourself to remain calm and nonchalant. “He’s paid to be nosy when someone goes missing so he can get them found. He found who he was looking for, he was able to keep the promise to the guy’s wife — it’s over for him. The case is closed, it’s as simple as that for him. He’s no threat.”
You waited to hear a response, holding your breath and your hand gripping the wheel even tighter, your body tensed. This would be what decided your fate. Either you would be allowed to go on as before or you’d be going on a mission up against one of the top private security contractor firms in the world which wouldn’t end well for you. But you’d take out whoever you could with you before you were killed.
Another moment passed before the voice replied, “Understood.”
Your body relaxed slightly and your shoulders sunk in relief. Colter was safe. Russell was safe…for now. And you didn’t have to go all Rambo Kamikaze on anyone. Win-win all around.
“I’ll let the higher ups know the situation has been contained. Good work. We’ll be in touch.”
Without waiting for a response from you, the call disconnected. You quickly shut the phone off and tossed it back into its original spot. You let out a deep breath and the exhaustion from the past twelve hours immediately overtook your body. Deciding that returning to your place was not an option for you right now, you headed to another part of town, parked your car on the street some blocks away to the nearest motel, and using a baseball cap to cover your hair along with sunglasses, you hoofed it and then booked a room, paying cash and using a fake name. Once you set up everything you needed to in your quarters, you slipped onto the mattress and got some much needed rest, keeping your gun under your pillow within reach should you need it.
You pulled up to Colter’s trailer, watching as he stepped outside to greet you. You put your car in park, took a deep breath, and got out. You offered Colter a small smile. “Hey.”
He returned it. “Hey.”
You had been surprised when Colter called you a few days later to let you know he was still in town for a bit and invited you to drop by for a beer. Not surprised that he was still around (you already knew that) but surprised that he even wanted to speak to you. Perhaps Russell hadn’t told him what you’d threatened back in the mountains.
You took the beer he offered to you and followed him over to the firepit, taking a seat on one of the coolers. He sat nearby and held up his bottle in a toast. You mirrored him and then you both took a sip. You nearly sighed in satisfaction as the carbonated beverage slid down your throat. You enjoyed the taste and checked the label. “Mmm, home brew…not bad. You got something you want to tell me? Planning on opening some sort of brewery outfit anytime soon?” You were teasing but if Colter really was thinking of doing something else — anything else — instead of his current job, you’d fully support it.
“Not me.” Disappointment flared in your chest, your hope dashed. “Russ was actually the one who made it. I had some left over from the other night.”
The beer suddenly began to sour in your stomach. Well, you supposed it was good that Russell was starting to think of the future, the most important part of that being that there would be one. It still burned a bit, though.
You decided to change the subject so you wouldn’t have to think about that right then. “So, your guy is back home safe?”
Colter nodded. “Dropped him off myself.” Something else you already knew but you had to keep up appearances.
You nodded, biting your lip and staring into the flames. “And your brother?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Colter’s jaw tense for a moment. “Gone.” Though you had an idea that was the case, Colter’s confirmation still stung, like someone poking a finger into an old wound after ripping the scar tissue away. But what else had you expected? This was Russell Shaw you two were talking about after all.
You snorted and shook your head, taking another swig of beer. “Of course he is.”
He turned to look at you. “You know, you never told me what happened between you two.”
You shrugged a shoulder. “Not worth going into, trust me.”
Thankfully, Colter left it alone and he rolled with it when you brought up a different topic instead.
“So, how much longer are you here for?”
“Teddi and Velma are working on that right now actually. Hopefully, something pops up soon.” He took another sip of beer, turning to gaze at the flames as well.
“It will.” Fortunately for him and sadly for others, someone would always go missing.
“How about you? Are they sending you somewhere for a new case or are they going to let you stay local for a bit? If it’s the latter, maybe you could get a dog for that place of yours?”
You smirked and ran your thumb down the smooth glass of the brown bottle in your hand. Colter kept teasing you about the residence you maintained nearby considering you were never really there most of the time. He’d then extoll the virtues of living on the open road, not having roots put down anywhere that would grow into expectations, and the unrestrained thrill of it all. The first time you’d had that conversation, you knew then that the desire to keep moving and stay unburdened must be a male Shaw thing. Dory seemed happy where she had settled and you — you wanted a home base. Some place you could come back to where you were still able to connect to yourself again, no matter how lost at sea you might be at times, no matter how much you felt as if every single piece of you was floating away on the wind until only a monster was left standing there, staring back at you in the rearview mirror of your car.
“Right now, I have a few things I need to close up,” you lied. “Then I’ll probably get sent out in the field again to work some cases.” You hated lying to him but you had no choice. His safety came first. As much as you had hated Russell for a time, you could now appreciate the difficult position he was in. Though, he had chosen to be put there, and now, so had you.
You watched Colter nod, accepting your answer. “I still think a German Shepherd would be a great choice for you,” he teased. “You know, a big dog, trainable, would make a good guard dog. You could take it with you, chase suspects down together...”
“Oh yeah, I could see it now,” you played along. “I’d have to sneak him into hotel rooms, make sure he doesn’t take a shit on the rug… Then we’d go on the job and I could introduce him to everyone, ‘I’m Special Agent Y/L/N but you can call me Turner and this is my partner Hooch.’”
Colter winced. “No, no. You have to give him a name that will strike fear into the hearts of the criminals you track down. Like General or Commando or Killer. Killer! Now that’s a good name. That will make anyone think twice about running from a dog with that name.”
This time, you were the one who winced though you hid it well. Instead, you forced out a laugh. “I am not getting a huge dog named Killer and bringing him to work with me.”
He grinned. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to have seen the look on your face when the dog would sit in the front seat.”
“There would be no front seat sitting. Back seat only.”
“Like a criminal who he just helped you to arrest? That’s cold, even for you.”
“I am so glad that you have this imaginary dog of mine’s back.”
He snickered and took a drink, looking back at the flames. Your smile slowly faded as you did the same. You both sat there, drinking in a companionable silence for a bit.
Eventually, your eyes flickered over towards him. “I need you to promise me something.”
His brows drew together questioningly when he met your gaze.
“Horizon…” You noticed him tense slightly at the mention. “No more.” When you saw the confusion in his expression, you elaborated. “No more digging, no more Reenie asking her contacts about them, no more mention of them period. You got the guy you were looking for. Now, put it to bed and forget that you ever knew they existed.”
His confusion increased. “I did put it to bed the second I dropped Doug off at his door and saw him hug his wife.”
You gave him a look. “Col, I need you to promise me,” you softly entreated.
His brows arched slightly at the use of the nickname; you didn’t use it often and if you were, then he knew you meant business. He also knew what you were telling him without explicitly saying it; Horizon was dangerous and they were better left alone. It would be better for him to get a case of sudden amnesia about anything related to the organization.
He watched you for a moment before giving you a nod. “As long as nobody else goes missing like Doug did and as long as Russ is okay, they’re forgotten.”
You knew that was the best you were going to get from him and you leaned forward slightly. “And if anything happens to Russ, I’ll be right there with you, knocking on their front door,” you promised. And you would be; no question about it.
The corner of his lips tipped up in the beginning of a smile and after a moment, you couldn’t help but return it.
The coffee shop you were in was decently quiet considering it was around 8:55 in the morning and most people were making their last minute dashes for caffeine before the working day began. You sat near the window, facing the entrance so you could keep an eye on who came in and out. You had ordered your usual, a soy vanilla latte, and you carefully sipped at the hot liquid. You scanned your phone for the day’s headlines, looking for any updates on the mysterious house fire that started in the mountains a few nights ago.
You knew you wouldn’t find any and sure enough, you didn’t. Someone was working overtime to squash the case from up above, just like you knew they would. You also knew that some local law enforcement officials didn’t buy the criminals-turning-on-their-boss theory and they actually thought the scene looked like a professional hit. Exactly what you figured would happen when accelerants had been found to be used at the scene. As much as you were sure the cops were looking to sink their teeth into something exciting to happen in those parts in however long, the bottom line was the case would get dropped and no one was going to care what happened to a violent criminal like Carlos Solano. The FBI would actually be relieved to remove one more name from their list, one more file from their desks. One more dangerous bad guy removed from the world that threatened American citizens as well as national security. No one was going to miss the murderous bastard.
You powered down your screen and placed your phone on the table, turning to glance out the window. That was when you saw him. Well, the reflection of him.
You watched as he walked towards you, still dressed in a ratty pair of jeans and old boots, wearing another t-shirt with a different musician on it while sporting an open button-up over it, and donning that old military style jacket. His eyes were intent on you and you had to wonder how he had gotten in without you seeing him. The answer was in the reflection of someone walking past him to get to the bathrooms in the rear of the cafe. There was no exit located near there, you knew that because this was a local spot of yours, so how did he… Shit.
Even though you watched him in the glass and he watched you back, you didn’t give anything away to alert him that you knew he was there. You started calculating in your head how many people stood in between you and the front door (your only exit at this point), how much force you would have to use to catch him off guard and knock him to the ground so you could make your escape, and how fast you would have to run to your car. You even had a moment to debate drawing your gun and your badge, and making a scene to get yourself out of this mess. But all of that proved to be for naught when he came to a stop near you and announced his presence by asking, “This seat taken?”
You slowly turned to face him, arching an inquisitive brow, but you eventually shook your head. His lips twitched into the beginning of a smirk and he took the seat across from you. His eyes were a lot lighter than they were the other day as they took you in. “Looking good, Y/N. Like always.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Really?”
He shrugged and reached for your coffee, taking the lid off. You hated it when he did this, the whole sharing coffee thing; now you would need to order another one…well, depending on how this impromptu meeting went. “What, I can’t tell my girl that she looks good?” He took a sip and made a face. “How do you still drink this crap? It tastes like foam mixed with shit.”
“And free garbage coffee from the lobby of the latest scuzzy motel you’re staying in doesn’t?”
“Hey, don’t knock it. They have real nice machines now and it tastes the way coffee should. Not like this bullshit.”
You watched as he grabbed a spoon, added some sugar, and began stirring the crap out of what had once been your perfect latte. You thought over what he’d said before. “I’m not your girl, Russell.” His eyes met yours. “I haven’t been for some time now.”
He finished stirring and removed the spoon, lifting the glass to take a sip. “You’ll always be my girl.”
You snorted and lifted a finger in the air to signal to the barista that you wanted another coffee. The kid gave you a nod and turned to make it. “Is that what you tell yourself when you’re hooking up with cheerleaders-turned-dental-hygienists in hot tubs?”
Russell pressed his lips together and looked appropriately chastised, not even bothering to deny it. “Colter told you. I should’ve known he would mention it. You two were always close like that.”
You didn’t confirm or deny that. There was no point in mentioning that Colter hadn’t been the one to tell you, not intentionally anyway. Instead, you leaned forward in your chair. “What do you want, Russell?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?” You snapped. You had been on edge, thinking he was here to either kill you or threaten you. Then him hitting on you and making that asinine and incredibly presumptuous statement bothered you more than you cared to admit. Not to mention he pissed you off when he took the latte you’d decided to treat yourself with after a few difficult days (without even asking you might add), knowing how that had irked you anytime he did it when you were dating. It was like the man was begging you to put a foot in his ass.
Russell glanced around briefly before removing something from inside his jacket. It was a folded up newspaper and he slapped it down in front of you. A picture of a burnt out structure stared back up at you with the headline reading above it “House Fire Claims 8 Lives, Sheriff Confirms Arson”. Your eyes met his and in that moment, you knew that he knew.
You refused to give it away just like that, though. If he wanted the truth, he’d have to work for it. He wasn’t getting anything for free, not from you, not anymore. You gave him a smirk. “Is this your way of telling me that you’ve finally learned to read, Russ? I’m impressed, really.”
Instead of being insulted, his eyes widened slightly. “You called me Russ.”
You sat back in your chair, pushing the newspaper away from you and prying eyes, waiting for the barista making his way over to you to deliver your coffee. “Slip of the tongue. Won’t happen again.” You smiled at the young kid in thanks when he placed the drink down in front of you and promptly slid your glass out of Russell’s reach. He saw it and immediately worked to smother a smile as the kid walked away.
“So, you got any more interesting tricks I should know about?”
Without any preamble, Russell said, “Solano’s dead,” the exact second you took a sip of your new coffee. If he was expecting any reaction to the news, he was in for disappointment when you didn’t give it.
“Yes, I heard. Quite unfortunate.”
“They’re all dead actually. Even that guard we subdued in the beginning.”
You remembered; you’d been the one to kill him after all. Once Russell and Colter got to their feet after knocking the guard out and started moving towards the house, you quietly pulled a knife and slipped the blade into the side of the man’s head. You’d cut his zip ties, removed them and the gag, and then caught up to the guys — all within seconds. You had made sure to move the guard’s body inside later, right before you’d started the fire, trying your best to get rid of any drag marks you’d left on the ground. You were there to clean up the mess, not leave witnesses, even if they had never seen any of you coming.
You nodded. “I know, I heard that, too. Is there a point here somewhere or can I get back to the nice morning I was having before you showed up to steal my coffee?”
Russell was the one to lean forward this time, lowering his voice even further. “You said you were calling in the FBI for a pickup. Who did you really call?”
You could tell he was trying to give you an out, an opportunity to explain that it wasn’t what he was thinking, and maybe you should have lied your ass off…but you no longer wanted to. You knew Russell; he wasn’t going to let this go until he had an answer that he deemed to be the truth. And while you could give him a distorted version of that truth that didn’t land at your feet, a petty part of you wanted him to know.
“Y/N?” He pressed. “Who did you call?”
You sat back in your chair, considering him for a moment before you spoke. “No one.”
Russell dropped his head, briefly closing his eyes. “Fuck, I was afraid of that.” He glanced up at you, his eyes full of a sadness you hadn’t seen in some time. You knew he wouldn’t be happy if he ever found out the truth, but not to this extent. “I told you to walk away and let me handle it.” His voice was softer, not as gruff as before. You realized then that you’d accomplished what that vindictive side of you had wanted all along, ever since the day he walked away; you’d hurt him and caused him pain. Pain that you could see clear as day lining his face right now. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. And quite frankly, that pain caught you off guard. After all of this time, this is what it took for him to feel even a sliver of what you’d felt back in the day when he’d left you bleeding, your heart torn from your chest and sitting in pieces on the floor he’d just casually walked over to get to the door?
Not really sure what to make of this development or the emotions it caused to rise up within you, you went into pure professional mode and forged ahead. “The three of you didn’t need to be involved.” You could see the pain getting worse and it made you uncomfortable, something prodding at your chest and itching at your skin that you really didn’t care for. “Besides, last I checked, I don’t take orders from you, Shaw.” You threw his last name in there as a last resort to put even more distance there between you.
His eyes flicked from the newspaper to you. “Who do you take orders from then? Something tells me this wasn’t FBI-sanctioned.”
You surreptitiously glanced around you before leaning in, lowering your voice.“You know, going to your handler’s house during her kid’s birthday party was a pretty bad idea. Ann really didn’t like that.” You watched as Russell’s eyes widened slightly before his face fell, a dreaded realization filling his expression. He had never mentioned her name to you before and he knew Colter hadn’t mentioned her to you either when giving you the rundown of what they knew before meeting up in the mountains. You sat back, tensed and ready for whatever came next.
His jaw clenched. “How long?” He ground out.
“Long enough.”
You kept your gaze trained on his and you did your best to read him, trying to assess what he might do, now that the pain was all but absent since your revelation. Would he tell you to watch your back and leave? Would he tell you to stay away from Colter for good? It was hard to gauge from the way he was staring at you right then. You could see anger bubbling underneath but you also caught something coming to the surface that strangely looked like remorse. Considering you hadn’t seen that emotion on him too often, it was tough to be sure in your identification of it. And then something flickered in his eyes right then, something so fast you almost didn’t catch it, but you did. Fear that quickly dissolved into determination. You braced yourself for whatever he would say or do; this was it. This would determine your next steps.
Instead, he surprised you once more. He snatched the newspaper up and slipped it back into his jacket, before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “I’m getting you out of here. Now. Let’s go.”
Stunned, you wordlessly got to your feet but then it hit you, you were about to go somewhere alone with him. Not that you couldn’t handle yourself but he had still been Special Ops once upon a time and he killed people for a living…just like you.
“Russell, I’m not—”
“Yes, you are,” he growled. “I’m getting you as far from here as I can. I’ve got a buddy who has a cabin in upstate New York. It’s got months-long supplies, power and running water, and a small armory. You’ll be safe there until this whole thing blows over.”
You yanked your hand out of his and grabbed your phone and jacket. “I’m plenty safe here. I have no reason to run, so I’m staying. You want to leave? Go right ahead. We both know it’s what you’re best at.” The sadness was back but you looked away from it. Yes, that had been another low blow but it was also well-deserved. You moved past him, refusing to look over your shoulder even once. There was no way he’d do anything out in the open; he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially now.
You slipped into your car, not surprised in the least when Russell got in on the other side before you could even think about locking the doors.
“What are you doing?” You hissed.
“What’s it look like?” He clicked his seatbelt. “I’m staying with you until you agree to my plan to get you someplace safe or you explain how the hell this even happened.” He pulled out the newspaper, holding it up for a moment before tossing it to the floor. You could see the determined set to his jaw and you knew he meant it.
“Russell,” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I do not have time for this.” You blew out a quiet breath and turned to face him. “Now I suggest you get out of my car or—”
“You’ll shoot me?” He shot you a look. Yeah, he was still pissed about the threats you’d made a few nights ago. You supposed you couldn’t blame him but you did what you had to do to get him and his brother out of there. You had regrets but they were slim. “We both know you won’t.”
That infuriated you and had you seething. “You think I won’t?”
“I know you won’t. Just like I know that no matter how much you tell yourself that you hate me, you really don’t.”
You scoffed out a laugh in disbelief. “Wow, you really are incredibly delusi—”
“I also know you would never do that to my brother.” Your glare in his direction intensified. “You’ve always been protective of him. Just like me.” A glimmer of a fond smile worked its way onto his bearded face.
Your jaw clenched and you looked away from him, back towards the coffee shop you had just stormed out of, your grip tightening on your steering wheel. It was true; you’d always looked out for Colter in some way ever since you’d gotten to know him through Russell.
While the relationship between the brothers had been strained for years, it didn’t mean that there hadn’t been a couple of times where Dory hadn’t attempted to get them into a room together to try to fix what had been broken. In one such instance, Russell had brought you along, after shocking you by asking you two nights before to accompany him. The man had spent over a decade in the military, worked Special Ops, and there wasn’t much he was afraid of, if at all. But when you were wrapping leftovers to throw into the fridge and he’d laid a hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him, you’d never seen Russell Shaw look so worried, vulnerable, and damn near terrified in all of the time you’d known him. You’d even felt it when he’d enfolded you into his arms and whispered into your ear that he was due to meet up with his family in the next two days, asking you to come with him. How could you say no to that? You knew of the family’s tragic history and the simmering tensions that still existed between the Shaws who were still alive; Russell had told you everything, even about how his mom had hung him out to dry (though he made excuses for her which made you grind your teeth). And for him to ask you to go, to meet his family, you knew then just how important this was for him. So you went, squeezed his hand in silent support whenever he appeared to need it, and did your best to provide distraction whenever things got a little too tense or heated. Dory didn’t care for you too much; you got the distinct feeling that she wasn’t happy Russell had brought an interloper to a family-only discussion. But Colter…Colter you got along with from the start.
Colter seemed happier to talk to you than his brother and you could tell that bothered Russell tremendously. He had told you once how much he missed his siblings at times, especially his little brother, and he would never stop hoping to patch things up with them one day. Sure enough, he tried to interject into the conversation a few times with you helping as much as you could, but each time Colter shut him down. It was blatantly obvious that the younger man wanted nothing to do with him and there was definitely some resentment still floating around after years of estrangement. Needless to say, things hadn’t ended well at that dinner and you weren’t surprised that Russell drank a little heavier that night. Nor were you surprised when he grasped at you in the hotel room and pulled you to him, his lips claiming yours as he began unbuttoning your shirt and moving you towards the bed. You knew he was hurting and you let him take solace in you as you whispered loving assurances in his ear.
After that, Colter surprised you by calling you a couple of months down the road, apologetically asking for your help on a case he had picked up. Though he didn’t know you well, he was in a rough spot and needed a helping hand, particularly a Federal one. You saw the opportunity for what it had been, an opening of a possible door between him and Russell, so you took it. You helped Colter as much as you could without risking being read the riot act by your superior, and you two got to know each other better as you worked together. It happened a few more times and you had even called Colter in to assist on a case of your own that you had snagged. You had gone for beers afterwards each time and you’d tried your best to talk to him, to convince him to give Russell a chance. He hadn’t been interested, was resistant to it even, but he liked you and he was starting to trust you a little more each time. He’d even reluctantly admitted once that he was glad his brother had you, immediately following up with “He better be treating you right, though.” You had simply smiled and assured him that Russell very much was.
You didn’t mention the odd absences a few times a month (sometimes with little to no warning), the radio silence during these stints, and the avoidance of any penetrating questions upon his return — all of it that had become conditional to your relationship by that point. And Russell certainly wasn’t happy at all to find out you’d been working with Colter once you told him. You both had arguments before like any common couple but nothing like this. You had never seen him so angry and he’d laughed when you told him he had no need to be jealous if that was what he was worried about, you loved him and you were trying to make things better for the both of them, to pave the way for him to be able to make peace with his brother.
“You just don’t get it.”
He had shaken his head and glared over at you before he walked out of the room, away from you. From then on, Russell became even more secretive, distant, and cold as ice. Gone was the easy affection, heart to heart talks, and playful banter between you. Gone were the tender touches, gentle kisses, and passionate sex. The love of your life turned into a stranger right before your very eyes. It hadn’t been too long after that when he’d left for good, leaving your heart shattered on your hardwood floor. As time passed, you were surprised he hadn’t just packed up and left in the middle of the night while you were sleeping, without a single word to you and completely ghosting you, since he had been intent on leaving you in his past. It might have been kinder actually compared to the things he’d said to you as a final goodbye before walking away for good.
So whenever you had dared to think back on it over the last few years, you’d always figured the fight over Colter had contributed in some way to the rapid unraveling of your relationship. Well, that fight and…other things.
“Let’s go somewhere we can talk,” Russell urged, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Come on, Y/N, you owe me that at least.”
You turned the most menacing glare on him that was possible for you to give someone. “I don’t owe you shit,” you bit out. How dare he say that? To you of all people?
His jaw tightened and after a moment, he agreed with a soft nod. “Fair enough.”
You broke away from his intent gaze a minute later, your decision made as you turned the car on. “You know what? If this will get you out of my life for good this time, then fine. Let’s talk. And don’t be so sure I won’t shoot you afterwards should you continue to piss me off. You’re right, I do care about Colter,” You scowled over at him. “But not that deeply.”
Russell matched your scowl but wisely kept quiet as you backed your car out of your parking spot. You felt an immediate surge of guilt for having said that about his younger brother. You did care about Colter, more than you would ever admit to anyone, even your ex. There was nothing remotely romantic between you two; there never had been and there never would be. But Russell had been right; you were protective of him. Not only because he was a good man but he also reminded you of someone you had lost long ago. You would bend over backwards to keep him safe (as safe as you could given his chosen career), even if it meant putting yourself in harm’s way. He had truly become like a brother to you.
But you had also meant what you said just now. If Russell continued to irritate you, there was no way he was leaving this time without you putting a bullet in him. Right in his ass before the door could hit it when he turned his back on you for the last time. That or a good old fashioned ass kicking in the form of your right hook. After everything he’d done, he deserved nothing less.
You pulled up to a local motel that you had booked a room at the last few days, in case you needed to close up shop and haul ass out of town quickly. It wasn’t the same establishment you had gone to the morning of the fire and you still had your place thirty minutes away, but you had learned it was always best to prepare for any eventuality. Especially after a job needing to be done so close to home. You had seen what happened with Doug; who was to say Horizon wouldn’t leave you out to dry, too, should the heat from the fire get a little too close?
You got out and headed over to the door, unlocking it and stepping inside, not looking back to see if Russell was following you. Neither of you had spoken on the ride over (which was probably for the best) and you didn’t glance at him once. Instead, you had done your damndest to tamp down the fury you felt racing through your veins as more and more memories played out in your mind. Now that Russell had a vague idea of the truth of what you had been doing all of this time, everything you had ever wanted to say to him seemed to be trying to rush to the surface as well as all of the pain you had endured.
You slipped your suit jacket off and tossed it onto the bedspread. You heard the door shut behind you and you spun around, seeing Russell’s eyes scanning the room, stopping on the bed, and then lifting to you. You scoffed and unbuttoned the sleeves of your blouse, rolling them up to your forearms. “Not happening so don’t even think about it,” you hissed.
“Wasn’t going there.”
You didn’t believe him. “Right.” You took a seat at the table and impatiently gestured to the seat across from you. “Well?”
He sat down and without missing a beat, dove right in. “How the hell did this even happen, Y/N?”
“Really? That’s what you’re starting out with?”
Russell shot you a look.
You let out an aggravated sigh and sat back in your chair, crossing your legs and getting comfortable. “I was recruited, not too long after you left.”
His jaw dropped. “They approached you?”
Nodding, your jaw tightened thinking back to that time. It wasn’t a memory you liked revisiting. You were at your lowest, Russell having just walked out like the four and a half years you’d spent together hadn’t meant a damn thing to him. He had been it for you. You had put everything you had into the relationship, which proved to be a difficult balancing act sometimes between your career at the Bureau and Russell’s job that he wouldn’t tell you too much about. You both had overcome so much together…all for him to tell you that he simply didn’t love you anymore, give you a shitty apology, and walk right out the door years later. Like you had simply been an amusing distraction, nothing more. Like you had merely been a stopping point in his journey and now he was bored and moving on. The breakup would’ve hurt regardless but the cold detached manner he’d spoken to you with caused more pain than you would have ever been willing to admit. It was a good thing you had already become a Special Agent by then, not stuck to any one location or field office, given how often you were hungover for some weeks there. You had attempted to track him down (which hadn’t been easy) to try to talk to him, to make him see reason; you didn’t believe that he had stopped loving you just like that. But when you had finally located him, he had been holed up in a dingy motel, similar to this one, but he wasn’t alone. That had hurt beyond words and it had taken everything for you not to say anything, not to let him see you, and turn back around, heading home with your tail between your legs and your head hanging in heartbroken defeat.
None of it made sense to you. How had your life changed so drastically in a single day? Perhaps you had never really known Russell Shaw. Perhaps you only saw what he wanted you to see. But when you replayed the last few weeks of your relationship, even the fight over Colter, something still wasn’t jiving. So you buried yourself in work during the day and as deep into the bottle as you could during the late nights. Until they showed up.
“And you said yes?” He asked in disbelief.
Your eyes flicked to Russell, narrowing. “Why not? You did.”
He pressed his lips together. You had him there and he knew it. “That was different.”
“How?” You snapped. “Exactly how is that different, Russell?”
“I joined them long before you and I met.” Yeah, you knew that now. You knew everything he hadn’t told you the time you’d been together, minus the actual details of the off the books missions he went on. You now knew why Doug had never told Tracy anything either. Not only were they not allowed to, but It was safer that way.
“Well, bully for you, Shaw. You’ve got a few years on me at being a black ops agent and you’ve racked up a few more bodies than I have. Told way more lies, too. Congrats. Do we get you a cake or…?”
He leaned forward, covering your hand with his. “Stop. Just…talk to me,” he pleaded gently.
You hated it when he did that because you hated that it still affected you on some deep level. You rolled your eyes and moved your hand from underneath his, placing it in your lap. “They approached me about six months out from when you left.”
“Who approached you?”
Yeah, you weren’t giving him that. If you did, you knew he’d be on their doorstep in a second and that you couldn’t have. Not after you had just cleaned up the Solano mess and smoothed things over. “Doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.” You knew that, could see it in his expression, but too bad. You both were in it now, had signed NDA’s, and details like that were meant to stay confidential anyway.
“Someone did and that’s all you're getting.” You gave him a meaningful look. “Regardless, they offered me a job and I took it.”
You watched as Russell’s features tightened. “And the FBI thing?”
“Still active, though I’m now kept more as an ear to the ground, providing information and cleanup when need be.” You noticed a slight wince cross across his face. “They’re the ones I answer to and they’ve chosen to keep me there for the time being. I’m more effective in that setup.” Those words from your handler still burned you but over time, you had been able to adapt and utilize their refusal to fully bring you in to your advantage.
“And Solano and his men? Were they cleanup?”
You didn’t break away from his penetrating gaze and gave it to him straight. “You and Doug made quite a mess of things. So, yes, I was called in to clean it up.” He briefly closed his eyes in the same pain you had seen earlier, though you couldn’t fathom why. It had been nearly three years since he’d last professed to give a shit about you. Why would this even affect him? “Horizon wanted you kept clean and Doug was on his own. Then you idiotically showed up at Ann’s residence, not only tipping them off to the fact that you were sniffing around where you shouldn’t have been but then you allowed Colter to threaten them. You had to know that was going to ruffle quite a few feathers and put a target on your backs.”
His jaw clenched again and that dark void was back in his gaze. His fingers twitched near his phone and you knew he was itching to call his brother to check on him. “And they sent you to clean that up, too?”
You slowly shook your head. “No.” If they had, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Most likely, you’d be dead while Colter and Russell would hopefully be on the run or have gone into hiding. “Only to assess what threats you both posed to the organization.”
“And what was your assessment?” He watched you carefully. In this moment, you weren’t former lovers. You were two people with lethal skills and training, willing to do whatever it took to keep your loved ones safe, even from each other.
You never broke away from his gaze, watching him back just as carefully. “What do you think?”
He stayed quiet for a moment, looking pensive and most likely turning your words over in his mind. You weren’t going to say it but knowing that gnawing feeling of constantly worrying about someone you cared deeply about, you wanted to make sure you both were on the same page of this topic. “And, Russell, if they had sent me for that, I never would.” His gaze immediately met yours. “Ever,” you promised.
His eyes roamed over your face, most likely assessing if you were bullshitting him or telling the truth. Obviously having decided on the latter, after a minute or so, he gave you a nod. “How do you know they accepted your assessment, though? There’s no way they don’t know about you and Colter, you and me…”
This time, your jaw was the one clenching. Yeah, you were made aware of that fact when you had been approached for recruitment. That was how they knew about you, your career as a Federal agent, and how you had been involved with Russell once upon a time. When you found out more about Horizon from the inside, it didn’t surprise you one bit how deeply they dove into the background of their candidates or the amount of information they gathered on them. You’d even helped put together a few files yourself, without fully knowing what unit the candidates were being considered for of course. They kept a close watch on their assets and that was putting it lightly.
So when you got involved with Russell, completely oblivious to what you were really getting into, Horizon had already scoped you out as well as Colter, Dory, their mother, Bobby, Reenie, Teddi, Velma — everyone. Even Colter’s on-again/off-again, Billie, and the mysterious circumstances of the death of the boys’ father. They knew it all. Horizon didn’t like surprises and you supposed you couldn’t blame them considering their line of work, but it also meant that you and everyone you cared about needed to be extra careful.
It was one of the many reasons you couldn’t completely forgive Russell, though you now understood why he’d walked out when he did. Things had unraveled so badly between you that you’d started quietly digging into Horizon, not trusting what Russell had told you prior. Back then, you thought you’d find only what Russell had claimed: private security, perhaps a couple of Special Ops situations where an American hostage was retrieved in another country, or worse: he was lying to you and having an affair. Now, you knew he had told you the truth — a very scrubbed, limited version of the truth that omitted most of what he really did for the outfit. You remembered what he’d told you about a week and a half before he left.
“You need to stop digging.”
You looked upon him with confusion. One minute, you had been having a very tense and silent dinner where you could only hear forks scraping against the plates every so often, and the next, Russell was glaring over at you, speaking cryptically. “What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You need to stop looking into Horizon and leave it alone. I mean it, Y/N. Let it be.” His eyes bored into you with warning before he got up from the table and took his plate into the kitchen, leaving you to finish your meal alone.
Normally, you wouldn’t have listened, determined to get to the bottom of Russell’s mysterious employer, but considering how your relationship was hanging by a thread at that point, you did. Despite the warning bells going off in your head, you did as exactly as he said: you let it be.
You suddenly remembered Russell’s question to you. “You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”
Russell affected a slow nod, thinking it over. “And Colter?”
“I told them he’s no threat,” you murmured. “I talked to him, told him to forget they exist. He agreed as long as you were safe.”
For the first time since this conversation started, you could see Russell start to relax a bit, relief saturating his features. Even a small smile started to light up the tension in his face. While you could understand the feeling, share it even, something about it had you on your feet, walking over to the small refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water from the six pack you had tossed in there when you booked the room. You held one up in an offer but Russell shook his head.
“I’m good.”
You shrugged, unsurprised, and twisted off the cap, taking a drink. It made sense that he was still being cautious. Before you knew it, though, he was standing in front of you, that pleading yet determined look in his eyes again.
“I want to get you out.”
You snorted. “There is no getting out, Russell. Not for me, anyway. Not until they’re done with me.”
He took a step closer and gently took the water bottle from you, placing it on the counter, and grasped your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “There’s always an exit strategy,” he murmured. “I never wanted this for you, Y/N. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. That’s why I left.”
Yeah, you knew that now, too. “I know that now. Why you wouldn’t tell me certain things about your job, but, Jesus, Russell. Did you really think they didn’t already know about me and who I was to you? Colter even? Dory? Your mom?”
He let out a deep sigh and hung his head, letting your chin go. “I know. I… It was a good fit for me at the time, the money was good — that’s why I hooked Doug up with them. But seeing how they hung him out to dry at the first opportunity and now you,” He tenderly ran his thumb along your cheek. “I’m seriously starting to rethink that decision.”
You pulled away from him. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t unring that bell.” You made your way back over to the bed and yanked your duffel bag from underneath it. You unzipped it and began rooting through it to make sure you had everything you needed for a quick getaway. You didn’t think you needed to go anywhere but now this location was blown for you since you had made the decision to let Russell know about it. You had already triple checked your stash when you left it here upon check-in but you needed something to focus on instead of the clear regret in Russell’s face. “And as for me, I made my decision.” You pulled out a gun from a secret compartment, checked the clip to make sure it was full, and slipped it back inside. “I’m good with it. I’ve used it fully to my advantage and I make good money, more than I was ever going to make at the Bureau, even if they fast-tracked me to Deputy Director. Solano was on our Most Wanted List for twenty six days and I took him out in one. Had he possibly gone free, there’s no telling what he would have done, who he would have hurt besides Doug.” You knew exactly what he would have done and who he would have hurt; he’d told you in explicit detail. You didn’t go into it but Russell wasn’t stupid (not when it came to things like this anyway). He most likely knew as well. He’d wanted to close up Solano as a loose end himself after all. “That kind of cleanup I can more than live with.”
Russell carefully approached, his eyes on the second gun you had pulled out and were checking. “I get that and I more than appreciate what you did with Solano. For Doug, for Colter and me.” Once you slipped the weapon back into its pocket, he laid a hand on your shoulder, prompting you to look over at him. “You can’t tell me, though, that this is what you want for your endgame. Not really.”
You shook your head in disbelief. “I don’t have an endgame, Russell. Maybe I did once but you took that the second you walked out the door, acting like everything we’d gone through meant nothing to you, like I meant nothing to you.”
There was that remorse again and you despised it. “I’m sorry, I…handled that badly,” he admitted.
“Handled it badly?” You laughed in disbelief. You shirked his hand off of you and moved to the night table, yanking the drawer open to rip out the bible sitting in there. You opened it to the area you had cut out to hold emergency cash and cards, just like Russell had taught you once upon a time. “You told me I’d been nothing to you but a fling for the past four years, that you might have loved me once but you didn’t anymore. That I was…how did you put it? A fun distraction.” You slammed the bible shut and tossed it back into the drawer before closing it. You hurried back over to the bag, throwing the funds inside another secret compartment, more than done with this conversation.
“You’re right, I fucked up. I only said those things to—”
“Cut the cord, yeah, I know. Still doesn’t make it right,” you muttered, roughly zipping the duffel back up.
“I wanted you to be safe. You were digging into them, even after I told you not to! And worse, you were pulling Colter into it!”
That quickly got your attention and you spun on your heel, jabbing a finger in the air at him. “Don’t you fucking dare lay Colter at my feet. Especially after what you just pulled last week. It wasn’t me hauling him into Doug’s case! Not to mention, way before you met me, the minute you took that job, you put everyone you knew on their radar and you know it! So don’t you fucking dare. I have been doing everything I can to make sure Colter is safe and doesn’t pull their attention, poring over every case he takes in the background to ensure they’re not involved or have any vested interests that are. Hell, I even just used a contact of mine to float a case over to Teddi and Velma to get him out of town and far away from here to continue keeping him safe. Me, Russell! Me! And what did you do to keep him safe? You blow back into town and not only put him even more on their radar, you deliver him right to their goddamn doorstep! So don’t you dare even try to put that on me,” you finished in a snarl.
Shame lurked at the corners of his eyes and you scoffed in disgust, whirling around to grab your jacket from the bed before picking up the duffel bag and slinging the handle over your shoulder. “So glad we had this talk,” you sniped. “Now go have fun with the cheerleading dental hygienist or Reenie,” You could see more shame looking back at you. Unlike the hot tub conquest, Colter had actually told you about that one. You could tell how much it was bothering him and you knew he wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise, knowing it wasn’t something you really wanted to hear. “Or that bartender you holed up with three weeks after you walked out on me,” Now you could see surprise; you could care less. “Or whoever you want. But me? I’m done. Have a nice life, Russell Shaw, and try not to get killed before you get out to start your little brewery operation. Oh, and try to manage not to get your brother or me killed in the process, yeah? Thanks ever so much. See ya.”
You were walking towards the door when you were grabbed and whipped around. Before you could react, Russell was on you, his mouth covering yours and his hands gripping your face. “I love you,” he breathed against your lips after breaking away to let you catch your breath. “I’m sorry I said what I did back then but it wasn’t the truth. It took everything I had to walk away but as long as you were safe, that was all that mattered to me. I fucked up and I am sorry. I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not ever.”
He wiped at your cheeks and you hadn’t even realized you’d been crying. Shit. Well, that was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was how much you wanted to believe him. You knew he was telling the truth about why he walked away, how he wanted to keep you safe, but it obviously hadn’t been as difficult for him to move on as it had been for you. “No, you don’t,” you choked out. “If that were true, you would have never walked out that door.” Your voice wobbled on those last few words and you hated it, hated how vulnerable you were being to him right now.
You wiped at your own cheeks and turned around, ignoring the pleading you saw once again in his eyes.
“Y/N, please,” he ground out.
You kept moving towards the door. As you laid your hand on the door handle to turn it, you were whipped around one more time and he was kissing you yet again, your back pressed up against the wood. Except this time, you finally threw in the towel and gave in to what your damaged heart had been wanting all of this time. You buried your fingers in his hair and kissed him back just as passionately, not caring that more tears rolled down your cheeks as you did. He yanked the duffel bag from you and let it fall into a heap on the floor before lifting you up and turning to carry you over to the bed. You knew this was going to hurt like hell later but you refused to put a stop to it. You’d find a way to numb the pain when it ripped you open a second time, just like you always had.
The only thought running through your mind as he laid you down and ripped your blouse open, sending buttons flying everywhere, was that you had been right. You knew the bastard had been lying earlier when you’d caught him looking between you and the bed. But right then as he lifted away from you to quickly shed his top layers and then dove back down to kiss you again and melt into you, your fingers greedily relearning every inch of his bare skin, you couldn’t care less.
You reached your hand over, tenderly running a finger along the edges of the bandage on Russell’s arm. “Does it hurt?” You murmured.
“A little.” He turned his head to smile down at you. “More than worth it, though.”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring his chuckle at you gently pushing his head away, and turned onto your back. Russell embraced you with his other arm, pulling you into him. You rested your ear against his bare chest, hearing his steady heartbeat and settling your gaze on the ceiling above you. He pressed a kiss to your head, letting his lips linger against your hair, as his thumb rubbed your shoulder back and forth.
After a few minutes of content silence between you, you put voice to the question resounding in your mind. “How did we get here, Russell?”
“Well, you drove us over and then we—”
You softly swatted his chest, making him laugh and hearing the sound reverberate underneath your ear. “You know what I mean.”
“I wish I knew the best way to answer that, “ he whispered to you. You could hear the genuine regret in his tone and it made you start thinking about when you both would have to leave this motel room, and go back to the separate lives you had been living. Memories of lazy mornings like this back when you had been together, of you listening to his voice in your ear and knowing you were safe and loved, replayed in your mind on a loop. You would never admit it to him but you missed this, missed him. Nothing had felt right in the last couple of years like this moment here did. If anything, all of that time felt like some weird drug-induced nightmare, and you had just woken up to find Russell here next to you, nothing having changed. But that wasn’t true; everything had changed.
Not wanting to think about that just yet, you picked up the hand that had been caressing your shoulder and studied the skin of his wrist. “This is new.” You trailed your finger along the design of the tattoo sitting there. “What prompted you to get this one?”
“That’s something Doug and I got one night when we met up with another one of the guys from our unit when he was in town. Tommy Laird. Good man.”
“A crown?”
Russell shrugged underneath you. “Tommy picked the design.”
“‘We three kings’, huh?”
You heard him chuckle. “Never thought of it like that but sure.”
“Is he also a part of Horizon?”
You felt him tense underneath you at the mention of the dark and deadly elephant in the room. “No. He, uh, he lives with his wife and three kids in North Carolina. They have a house in Cary and he went back to the family business when he got home.”
You nodded and pulled his wrist to you, placing your lips on his skin and tenderly kissing the middle of the design before letting him go. He hugged you closer to him and placed a kiss to your ear in turn, letting out what sounded like a contented sigh.
A moment later, he murmured. “I want to help get you out.”
You nearly rolled your eyes again. You wanted to ask him why he was dead set on thinking that you even wanted out. Perhaps the you he had known would want a way out, want something more out of life than money and secrets and cleanups, but you had changed a lot in the last three years. But you knew if you posed that question, it would shatter the cocoon you currently found yourselves in and you weren’t ready for that to end just yet. So instead, you reminded him of another angle of the truth. “That’s not possible. Not the way you’re thinking. You know that.”
“Anything’s possible.” You nearly smiled at his response; there was the stubborn streak that sometimes infuriated you and sometimes endeared you to him, like right now. But you needed to make sure you maintained a reality check for the both of you. You knew what he was really thinking.
“Even if it was, we can’t.”
His head lifted and he frowned down at you. “Why not?”
“This isn’t some Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit. We don’t get a happy ending,” you finished sadly, thinking back to the life you once shared together as you cupped his cheek and rubbed it gently with your thumb. “Not together. It’s too dangerous.” You left it at that but you knew that he was more than aware of what you meant.
His frown intensified at your words and he covered your hand with his, turning to place a kiss into your palm. “We’ll work it out.”
“Russ,” you sighed.
He gently grasped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, looking into your eyes. “We’ll work it out,” he softly repeated, that glint of determination back in his gaze.
You decided once more that you wouldn’t bother launching into the many reasons it actually wouldn’t work out and you would refrain from popping that bubble he had just wrapped you both in. That moment would come later. But for now, you continued to keep silent.
When he noticed you weren’t going to say anything, a mischievous smile began to form on that handsome face you loved. “You know, I don’t really have anything planned for today. How about you?”
Other than some paperwork you had to go over later, your day was pretty much free, too. Even if it hadn’t been, you knew that look and after this morning, despite still having some unresolved anger with him, despite things that still needed to be said between you, you would have freed up your schedule immediately. “I don’t think I’ll be missed for a while,” you teased.
He leaned in to kiss you, whispering to your lips, “Oh, you were missed. Very much fucking missed.” The impishness you had heard a moment before was now absent but he never gave you a chance to respond. Instead, he kissed you deeply and began moving to cover your body with his once again. He maneuvered himself in between your thighs, your legs automatically coming up to gently cradle his hips. “Your arm,” you broke away to warn him.
“Don’t care.” He lowered down to keep kissing you and surprisingly (or unsurprisingly perhaps), all was right in the world right then. You didn’t allow yourself to get swept away by it or by the fantasy of something that would never be. Sadly, the time for you and Russell to be together had come and gone. You’d had your chance and you both had blown it, with him starting you out of the gate. This right here, this was all that was left — like embers of a dying fire. You would always love him, you knew that (truthfully, you had always known it), but this was all you would ever have. Once you both walked out that door, you would be walking in separate directions, taking different paths in your lives, no matter what Russell would say.
But for right now, you allowed yourself to live in the moment, to enjoy it as he groaned into your mouth when your hand helped guide him to where you both wanted him to be. You held onto him as he began a slow movement within you, knowing you would need to take over again very soon when his left arm began to tremble. But until then you kept him close to you, drank deeply of him, and reveled in what the two of you had always managed to create together, content to keep Horizon and the rest of the world on the other side of the motel room door, if only for a moment longer.
A/N: I know I left some things open and unresolved. I wanted to do that to let this be a gateway to the continuing story in the short series coming titled "Closer".
Please let me know what you think. 😊
#russell shaw x reader#russell shaw x female reader#russell shaw x you#russell shaw x y/n#russell shaw#russell shaw fanfiction#tracker fandom#jensen ackles character#jensen ackles
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gift Giving (hypmic)
Hypmic characters and the gifts they give you
Featuring EVERYONE (excluding Rei and Saburo)
⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩
Buster Bros
Ichiro
I feel like he’s the type of guy to gift you experiences rather than physical items. He’d take you to a fancy cafe you’d been eyeing, maybe a movie you wanted to watch, possibly even plan a surprise picnic!!
He dresses up for the occasion too! Even if you don’t expect it, he’s out of his usual jacket and attire- sporting something he seemingly newly bought. Ichiro will absolutely light up in smiles if you compliment his outfit and effort.
Ichiro feels like his time with you is more valuable than any gift he could give. He has so many other responsibilities on his shoulders so he uses his “gifts” to make up for any time lost.
Jiro
Jiro worries himself over trying to come up with a gift to get you. He doesn’t have much money, with most of his salary going towards helping his siblings. When the time comes to give you a gift, he’s embarrassed- bumbling over himself with apologies for the supposed shittiness of his gift.
But oh, oh, oh he’s so sweet :C. He’ll hand make a card for you, educating himself on paper craft so it’s the cutest it can be. There’s paper cuts that litter his hands as he gives it to you.
Jiro immediately leaves the room, not wanting to see your face as you read the letter, in which he pours his heart out for you to fully see. Run after him and kiss his face will you?
Saburo
404 not found!
Mad Trigger Crew
Samatoki
Samatoki gives you a leather wallet... that he made himself!!
One of the old men who he buys meatbuns from told him about a class that would 'fit his vibe.' And when he begrudgingly took the class, the old man was totally right! Samatoki gets really into the task, hiding the new hobby from you because he wants to surprise you with a gift at the end of the class.
When he hands you the wallet, you can tell it wasn't professionally made. There's stray burn marks on the front, mildly messy seams holding it together, and a tag inside that is signed with his initials and yours inside of a heart. Samatoki is so, so proud of showing you his accomplishment though- and hopes you enjoy it as much as he enjoyed making it.
Jyuto
Jyuto gets you a personalized music box.
It's of your favorite song. One you would always play for him whenever you were given aux in the car- that he would always playfully say was becoming annoying to hear. One he only seemed to tolerate instead of actually enjoy listening to it.
But he knows the joy it brings you to listen to. He sees the smile on your face when you turn the volume louder, the shine in your eyes when it surprisingly comes on the radio. It's why, despite his mild dislike of it, he buys you a music box so you could play it whenever you want. Just so he can see your smile whenever he can.
Rio
Rio is a man of practicality. So he gets you a self care box!
He kind of throws everything into it, multiple body washes and bath bombs, a variety of different scents- he has more experience in self preservation instead of self care. But just from the amount of... stuff inside- it's clear he thought a lot about it!
When he gives the box to you he has a little trouble explaining what it's for. It's a rare sight to see, Rio stumbling flustered over his words trying to explain he wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself in ways outside his understanding. If you offer to show him how to use all the stuff he got you, he'll gladly accept!
Fling Posse
Ramuda
Ramuda gives you an outfit he specifically designed! In his mind, there's nothing more meaningful than something made from hand.
He’s poured over it for weeks, wanting it to be absolutely perfect for his perfect partner. Ramuda knows your tastes to the smallest detail, so he knew just what to do to make sure you'd like it. And its comfortable too!! Made with the softest fabric he could buy, so despite whatever flashiness it has it's super comfy to wear.
When actually giving it to you, he makes you model it right in front of him! He's kicking his feet and squealing as you twirl around in whatever he gives you, excited to see you in something he created.
Gentaro
mfeafeiafjewamawe Gentaro gifts you a notebook.
It's unsuspecting first, with a plain, brown, leather bound cover. He's unusually casual about it too, handing it to you under his sleeve with a meek smile. Usually, Gentaro would make a show about whatever gift he gives you, jokingly saying you should bow to his feet in praise for his effort.
However, once you open up the notebook, you'd find it's filled with words of love. Poems, short stories, letters, all of it written by Gen to you. It's so, sickenly sweet and romantic you'd never expect it from him. When you look back at him after peeking through, he's red in the face, flustered to hear whatever feedback you may have.
Dice
Dice gives you a special lucky charm!!
He spent months hunting it down. Seeking through pawn shops and all the shady back alley sellers he knows. When Dice gets a good idea in his mind, he sticks to it thoroughly, the only thing on his mind being the joyous reaction he expects you to have.
And what does he give you? The matching piece to his earring of course! If you don't wear earrings, he'll have it converted to a keychain so you can carry it on your bag. Dice thinks it's the perfect good luck charm, both for him and for you :3
Matenro
Jakurai
fewafewafewfeaw Jakurai gets you one of those mini books that's like "30 things I love about you."
You know, the ones that have a different prompt for each page that you have to fill in. Despite the small space, he gets really detailed, and it's so sweet and romantic and yuck !!! They're all wildly different responses, ranging from how he thinks you always look wonderful to how he thinks you truly saved his life just by being in it.
When Jakurai hands the book to you he's shy about it, apologizing about the responses because he wasn't able to fit all he wanted to say. Of course, he'll gladly say it in person if you're insistent 😚😚😚
Hifumi
Hifumi comes to your door with a bouquet of flowers. He's all smiles as he stuffs petals and stems in your face.
Ooh, he was insistent on picking out the flowers himself. Hifumi has a company discount with the local flower shop his club works with- so he was all in on getting as many different flowers as he could find (as in, all the flowers he found pretty[as in, all of them]).
He also put together the bouquet himself!! It's a little messy, with some broken stems and falling petals. However, he's just so happy to give it to you that you can't help but find it adorable.
Doppo
Doppo gets matching keychains for you guys!
He likes being subtle about a lot of things, including his affections. The keychains he gets are the type that look regular on their own, but together they can link to form a heart or your initials or something romantic like that.
Doppo will often link your keychains together in public, smiling to himself as he sees the connection. Whenever he gets anxious in public and he's alone, he'll hold onto the keychain tightly, being reminded of you. Yes, while it was a gift to you it also was a gift to himself, to have a reminder of you with him always :CC
Bad Ass Temple
Kuko
Kuko is so shit at giving gifts I'm so sorry. He has to ask his friends what gifts to get you and they're all so sick of it LMAO. Ichiro tells him to take you out somewhere, and that eventually gives him the perfect idea for a gift.
Kuko says his gift to you is a day of him being on his best behavior. He says it with a smug smile, expecting you to tell him how good of a present it is and is shocked to see your confusion.
He gets legitimately upset when you tell him that his best behavior shouldn't be a gift. The day ends with him promising you that he'll get you an even better gift next time, which leads him back to the drawing board as this dude is just so, so shit at giving gifts.
Jyushi
Jyushi writes a song for you!
He's not the lyricist for his band but he has a heavenly voice to back up whatever he writes. But he puts EVERYTHING into writing the song for you. Jyushi throws in references to your relationship, to specific dates or moments in time, to things only the two of you would know. He sees it as his magnum opus, and is very very proud of being able to perform it to you.
If his band doesn't want to perform the song with him he makes Kuko and Hitoya help him. Sure, it may have taken a few tear filled begs, but with their help he's able to perform the song he spent so much time working on, just for you
Hitoya
Hitoya makes you a playlist!
He's a bit of a classic guy, and would've made you a mixtape if anyone still used those on the daily lol. There's a lot of different memories within your relationship related to different songs, and he wanted to compile all of them for you two to listen together. Hitoya makes the picture of the playlist a photo of you two on your first anniversary, one where you're holding hands by the sunset and smiling.
It's sweet, cause he plays it first without telling you what it is. With every song that passes you recognize where it's from, and he's left smiling like a kid when you beam with joy asking him if he really made a playlist for you.
Dotsuitare Hompo
Sasara
Sasara gets you a build-a-bear bear!!
He goes in store alone to buy it, and goes a little overboard in designing it. Sasara gets a bunch of overpriced accessories, stuffs it a little too much with stuffing, and picks one of the most expensive dolls because it was the cutest.
Sasara records his own voice messages so they could play whenever you squeeze the doll's hand. And oh my goodness, he recorded so many. There's multiple shitty jokes, several wild compliments, and a myriad of 'I love yous' said in various different tones. Just don't hug it too much, he might get jealous ehehe.
Rosho
Rosho gets you whatever you want.
He gets really concerned when trying to get you gifts, worrying over what you would like best, if you already have it, or if you'd think it's too much/too little. So, eventually he'll just go ahead and ask you what you want as a present.
As long as it's in reason, of course. If you say some ludicrous thing like a yacht or a new car, Rosho will get sad and say you know he can't afford such luxurious (why would you do that to him LMAO). But he'll take you to the shops and have you pick out anything you want, buying it with no question as he just wants you to know he loves you so so so much :CC
Rei
404 NOT FOUND!!
⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩
A little late to post on Christmas but fwjhshshshshf. I tried to keep it neutral on the occasion since not everyone celebrates holidays and Kuko canonically doesn't know who Jesus is. I lowk couldn’t think of anything for Saburo so that’s why he’s not here bakbdkdbdksns
This isn't my best work as I was a little too tired to put these into anything else other than thought formatting but whtverrrr
I hope you enjoyed !!! I'll see if I can post anything else b4 the new year but eheheehhehe we all know me
#hypmic#hypnosis mic#hypnosis microphone#hypmic x reader#hypnosis mic x reader#hypnosis microphone x reader#ichiro yamada x reader#jiro yamada x reader#samatoki aohitsugi x reader#jyuto iruma x reader#rio busujima x reader#ramuda amemura x reader#dice arisugawa x reader#gentaro yumeno x reader#jakurai jinguji x reader#hifumi izanami x reader#doppo kannonzaka x reader#kuko harai x reader#jyushi aimono x reader#hitoya amaguni x reader#sasara nurude x reader#rosho tsutsujimori x reader
133 notes
·
View notes
Text
Old Friends Die Hard
Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader
Author’s note: WOAH WOAH WOAH (ps fic named after this baller song)
Summary: You go back to work. Decisions are made. But everything’s fine, right? Right? [3.6k]
Warnings: arguing, drama conflama, language, the tiniest bit of spice, PTSD symptoms, I think that’s it??
You leave Joel's the day after movie night with the girls. You watched A Knight's Tale and giggled with them about how cute Heath Ledger is, tucked under Joel's arm as the city sparkled just in the distance. Blankets from around the world covered the four of you as you laid on the couch in one giant heap. Joel covered Ellie's eyes when William and Jocelyn kissed while Sarah squealed excitedly. Then, you slept with your back to Joel, and he drove you home in the morning.
He apologized after your argument and spending time on different sides of the house, processing your feelings. He said he didn't mean it, that he was sorry, that he was just tired. You apologized, too, and that was that. It was supposed to be that easy. But things feel different now. You tell yourself it's just the terror that flies through your body whenever you hear tires squeal down the road or the concussion that still makes light hurt your eyes. You tell yourself you're still adjusting to letting him take care of you. You tell yourself it's nothing because it has to be nothing, but you've been home for a few days now and had little to no contact with Joel.
Ellie and Sarah, however, constantly text you, asking you about outfits and homework questions. They send you TikToks they think are funny and will even shoot you songs they're listening to. You respond as often as possible between looking for a new car and reviewing the scenes you're supposed to reshoot. Sarah begs you to come back over, and you respond, "Soon, sweet girl ❤️." You don't know if Joel is aware of how often you talk to his daughters, but if he has a problem with it, he doesn't make it known.
On the day of reshoots, Joel picks you up from your house before the sun is even up, a cup of coffee waiting for you in the cupholder when you climb in. He's wearing square glasses you've never seen before and a plain grey hoodie. He looks exceptionally cozy in the frigid (sixty-three-degree) California dusk, and you smile as you kiss him. His beard scratches your face, and he tastes like coffee, and it feels familiar and safe.
"You okay?" He asks, and you nod. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, his hand lingering on your jaw, and glances over the bumpy scar left behind now that your stitches are out, taking a deep breath. "Are we okay?" His voice is unsure and a little shaky. You bite the inside of your cheek and kiss his wrist.
"We're working toward being okay," you say. He purses his lips a little like that's not the answer he wanted. "Bringing me coffee at five in the morning is, like, at least five points for you." You add, and he chuckles, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
"I got you the biggest one they had."
"I see that." You smile as you look at the huge coffee. There's probably an ungodly amount of espresso in it, and you're sure you'll need two more to get through the day.
"Y'know, you don't have to go through with this, right?" He asks, the tiniest sliver of hope that you'll get back in bed poking through, and you nod. You don't trust yourself to say anything, not wanting to cause another fight, so you just kiss him again and settle back into your seat. He idles in front of your house for another five seconds before changing gears. He drives slowly and with a hand on your thigh, rubbing soothing circles into your leggings when your chest tightens at intersections. You get to set about ten minutes late because of how careful he was driving, but nobody questions it because Ryan rolls up shortly after you and Joel do.
All morning, Joel follows you around like a puppy. When you're whisked away to hair and makeup, he shakes Jenna and Alexa's hands and sits on the other side of you and Ryan. He asks them how long they've been working as stylists and what they like about it. He even jokes about taking over when Jenna complains about her hairdresser-induced carpal tunnel, and they eat it up. Before you can leave the trailer, all made up to resemble your character, Alexa grabs you and whispers, "he's perfect," in your ear, and you laugh. On the walk to set, Joel grabs your hand and swings it like a little kid, and you're all smiles and whispered jokes until you get to the sound stage, where a PA stops you.
"Sorry, sir, we're a closed set today." He says to Joel, and you give him a confused look. You can feel Joel already getting annoyed, so you hold up a hand to let him know you have it handled, and he backs down. So, he has learned something, you think to yourself.
"Why is it a closed set? All the scenes we're filming today don't call for that."
"Director changed her mind. We're shooting the cabin scene first thing today, thus, a closed set."
"What's the cabin scene?" Joel asks, and you gape at him, half-hoping that the PA is joking. But, sure enough, when you glance into the stage, there's the set for the room in the cabin, and your intimacy coordinator, Tanya, is talking with Emily, the director. You slowly turn your back to the PA and put gentle hands on Joel's chest.
"You should wait in my trailer until we finish this scene." You say quietly, and Joel gives you a look.
"Why? What's the cabin scene?"
You giggle as you and Ryan stumble into the cabin, drunken blushes painted on both your cheeks. He kisses you the second the door closes behind him, his hands wandering in the choreographed pattern you practiced for months. Your hands land on his wrists and slowly pull them away before you break the kiss, turn, and walk toward the kitchen.
"'M hungry," you whine, Ryan closely following behind you to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss your neck. "You're distracting."
"Good." He says, spinning you so your chests are pressed together, and he's kissing you again. He grabs at the backs of your thighs and carries you to sit on the counter. Then, it all happens in a perfectly rehearsed sequence. You can't feel anything through your three layers of protection on either side, but you wouldn't be able to tell based on the shaky, exaggerated moans leaving both of you and the jerking of Ryan's hips. The scene goes on for another minute before Emily finally calls cuts, and you and Ryan dissolve into a fit of giggles, your hands still on his shoulders as you sit on the counter.
"We have the weirdest fucking job." He says as he kisses your cheek and hugs you tightly. You laugh and rub his back, squeezing him.
"Oh, God, I know." You say. Tanya comes over to check in with both of you and make sure everything went as planned, even offering some alternative actions, which you both listen to intently. You avoid Joel's lingering eyes from the corner the whole time you're talking with her. It's all fake. You don't feel anything. You know that better than anyone, but it still feels weird pretending to have sex with someone else while your boyfriend is not even a hundred yards away. It doesn't help that you're pretending to have sex with one of your best friends.
Emily, thankfully, breaks for lunch which you both desperately need after running that scene so many goddamn times. At one point, you thought she was just calling for more takes to fuck with you because you ran it so much. As Ryan helps you hop down from the counter for, hopefully, the last time, he glances between you and Joel's looming figure.
"Joel really decided to make a set visit on the worst day, huh?" He says, and you nod.
"I tried to get him to wait in my trailer, but he'd already decided. Not my fault," you say as Joel starts walking over. "Speak of the devil." Ryan turns and shakes hands with Joel before quickly making himself scarce. You know Joel would never say or do anything to Ryan for doing his job, but watching him be scared of Joel is a little funny. You smile and wrap your arms around Joel's neck once he's close enough.
"Hey there, handsome," you say, and he raises his eyebrows before resting his hands on your waist, not caring about who might see. You try to kiss him, but he dodges your lips dramatically. "Joel!"
"I can't believe you're tryna make Ryan and me spit sisters." He says, and you laugh.
"I can't believe you didn't know you and Ryan have been spit sisters," you say, kissing him firmly. A PA passive-aggressively bumps you with a prop, and you turn to see them taking the set apart.
"Oh, thank God, you're done with that scene," Joel breathes. You grab his hand and pull him away from the giant moving set pieces. Together, you start walking back to your trailer, occasionally stopping to say hello to someone you haven't seen since you wrapped all your scenes. You wait until you're out of earshot of any eavesdroppers to press into Joel's side.
"Were you jealous, Miller?" You tease, and Joel smirks, shaking his head as he thinks. You disappear between the massive trailers at base camp, and Joel crowds you against your trailer.
"What if I was?" He asks in a low voice, his hands already teasing the hemline of your skirt. He shifts so his knee is pressing against you, and it takes everything in you to not gasp. With the emergency with Ellie, the car accident, and the fight afterward, it's been a hot second since he's had his hands on you. Based on his uneven breathing and the way his hard cock is lightly poking you, you'd say he thinks the same.
"I would tell you not to be," you whisper, raking your nails down his neck to make him shiver. "Nobody fucks me as good as you do. 'M all yours, Joel." As soon as the words leave your mouth, he kisses you roughly and blindly reaches for the door handle. You have half a mind to laugh about him suddenly not caring about who you've been kissing, but your thoughts are interrupted when he picks you up and carries you into the trailer. It's a miracle he doesn't trip, but the second he can, he lays you down on the couch and reaches under your skirt.
"You have thirty minutes." You manage to get out as you tug at the neck of his shirt.
"I only need twenty." His fingers barely graze the lace of your underwear when someone clears their throat behind you, making you jump away from each other. You turn and find Melanie sitting at the small dining table in the kitchenette, her hands folded in front of her.
"Mel! What are you doing here?" You ask as you and Joel scramble to get it together. You smooth your skirt down and push him off you so you can stand, feeling a lot like a horny teenager who just got caught by their parents.
"I thought I'd stop in and see how things were going. I didn't know you'd have..." She looks at Joel. "Visitors."
"Joel was just, um..."
"I was just gonna stop by catering. D'you want anythin'?" He asks, and you shake your head.
"No, I'm okay."
"Okay."
"Okay." You repeat, for some fucking reason, and Joel stands there for another beat before finally walking out the door and probably dying of embarrassment. You sigh and run a hand through your hair as you look at her. Her eyebrows are pinched— or as pinched as they can look with Botox— and she shifts in her seat.
"Were you two going to-"
'Why are you here, Mel?" You cut her off, not ready or willing to even think about trying to explain that to her.
"Right," she starts, getting right down to business like the goddamn professional she is. "So, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"
"Bad news."
"Bad news is I don't have any auditions lined up for you." She says like she didn't just drop a bomb on your entire world. Your ears ring, and you blink at her like you didn't hear her correctly.
"What?"
"I tried rescheduling some so you could recover, but nobody wanted to work with me!"
"Did you tell them I was in a car accident?"
"Of course I did, but these studios are on tight schedules. By the time you would've fully recovered, they needed to be getting actors to film locations." She says, and you sigh, pacing the carpet. "But, I'm poking around. I'll find something."
"Is this when you give me the good news?"
"Good news is, Joel's team is really happy with how this is all turning out, and they agreed to terminate the contract earlier than expected. You're free to go on with your life after the premiere." She's almost giddy with the information, but you can't catch your breath. For some reason, you laugh at the absurdity of it all.
"That's it? That's your good news?" You ask, and she stands.
"I thought you'd be happier," she says. "Honey, you'll go on to do great things without him. You don't need to keep carting him around. You'll be so much better off without him in your life."
"What if I don't want that?"
"What?" She asks, and you put your hands on your hips, gearing for a fight.
"What if I want him to stay in my life? What, then?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
"Because that wasn't a part of the contract."
"Bullshit," you spit. "Legally, you can't dictate my relationships outside of this singular contract, and once it's up, I'm free to make my own decisions again, right?"
"Right." She answers through gritted teeth. That picture-perfect attitude is slowly breaking; you can't fight how good that makes you feel.
"So, why don't you think it's a good idea for me to keep seeing him? Is it because I stopped responding to your every beck and call? Or because I'm actually happy and care about someone other than myself, and that threatens my career?"
"I don't think it's a good idea because he's a divorced father of two with a shitty reputation. Do you really think he's gonna keep being the charming guy you see now? He's just doing it for the cameras."
"He stayed overnight in the hospital with me. He let me stay in his house. He let me meet his kids. None of that was for the cameras. Plus, you weren't even there."
"Contrary to popular belief, my world does not revolve around you." Maybe it's how she says it with her familiar venom or because you finally realize how awful she is to you, but you feel the dam of molten anger break in your chest.
"I could've died, Mel! Ryan and I could've died, and you wanted to know about my fucking schedule! You didn't even ask what hospital I was in or if I was okay! We've known each other for four fucking years, and you can't even ask me how I'm doing?! Do you realize how shitty that is?"
"You wouldn't be anyone without me. We both know that." She snaps, and you scoff, turning away from her. "Look, why don't we just take a breather and come back to this later, okay?" She grabs her bag and makes for the door, but you shake your head.
"You're right," you stop her. "I probably wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for you. I needed someone ruthless to get me started, and you were that person, and I'm grateful for everything you did. But we're done. Once we get through these reshoots, I'm gonna start looking for another manager, and we are gonna go our separate ways." She looks over you like a snake looking at its prey, and you clench your jaw.
"You're firing me?" She asks, and you nod. "You're firing me because you fell in love with Joel fucking Miller? He will leave you in six months for the next shiny young actress who comes his way, and you're firing me?"
"Yep."
"You're dumber than I thought you were."
"Goodbye, Melanie." You say, and she scoffs. She stands there for another second before walking to the door in a huff, her heels furiously moving against the carpet.
"I hope he's worth it." She calls over her shoulder before slamming the door behind her, rattling the entire trailer. You let out an unsteady exhale and feel your molars buzzing as your head spins from what just happened. You shake out your hands and sit down on the couch.
"Me too." You mumble. You've never been in Hollywood without representation. You don't know what comes next. You don't even know if you care enough to worry about it right now. You barely have time to think about anything else or even take another breath before the door opens again. You stand shakily, ready to pretend to be ruthless like her if she came back to yell at you, but you just see Joel with his phone next to his ear.
"Hey, somethin' came up, and I need to go. Can you come over for dinner?" He asks frantically. You struggle to keep up with what he's saying but nod anyways.
"I'll ask Ryan to drop me off."
"Okay, I'll see you later." He says as he pecks your lips and disappears as fast as he appeared. Then, you're standing in the middle of your trailer, feeling like you could throw up, and you're alone. The ache in your core has been replaced with motion sickness, and you slowly sit on the floor.
Did Joel hear you and Melanie arguing? Did he see her leave? Did anybody else see or hear anything? The contract is up. You have no jobs lined up once you're done with Hyde. You have no manager. You just have Ryan, Carolina, Joel, and the girls. Four years of busting your ass, and you might've (probably) just fucked it all up. The scar from the car accident pulses with pain, and you wonder if your brain is pushing its way out of your skull in an attempt to save itself. You pull your knees to your chest and push your hair out of your face, resting your elbows on your knees.
"What the fuck just happened?" You ask yourself. "I have to talk to Joel."
You're exhausted when Ryan drops you off at Joel's. You got all the reshoots done in one day, which is virtually unheard of, but thankfully, Emily just needed a few scenes done, and she knew exactly what she wanted to change. Still, you were there from before the sun came up until after the sun went down. Oh, and you single-handedly doomed your career, but it's fine. Everything's gonna be fine. You really just want to hug Joel. You imagine you'll probably collapse against his chest and cry and barely be able to get the words out. He'll help you figure out what's next. Maybe you'll watch another movie with the girls. That'd be nice. But, right now, you need to cry and maybe have a huge glass of wine.
You don't knock on Joel's door. You just open and walk through the door, shrugging off your jacket like it's your own place. Something delicious is cooking in the kitchen and the smell wafts throughout the house. Maybe pasta? You can hear low music playing and the girls giggling as they no doubt push their dad around for space on the stovetop. You smile and feel your shoulders drop and your jaw unclench for the first time since you argued with Mel. Everything's gonna be fine.
You turn the corner to see into the living room and the kitchen and find Ellie and Sarah laughing with a woman you've never seen before. She's tall with beautiful dark skin and brown coily hair. Your heart stops in your chest, and the expansive house is suddenly all too small.
"Alright, I couldn't find pesto, but I did find," Joel says as he exits the garage with a can in his hand, stopping in his tracks when he sees you. He looks shocked and says your name like he forgot the syllables. Ellie, Sarah, and the mystery woman look up from their food, and Sarah lights up, repeating your name excitedly.
"I'm so happy you're here! This is my mom, Angela!"
#one for the money two for the show#rockstar!joel miller#the last of us#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#the last of us x reader#joel miller fic#joel miller the last of us#tlou au#the last of us au#the last of us hbo
197 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just to Love and Be Loved in Return
Fandom: Victorious
Pairing: Beck Oliver x Reader (she/her)
Type: Angst with a happy ending
Warnings: Swearing, Jade is a bitch (I love her though), theater kids being theater kids, Jade calls someone a whore, I didn’t fully proofread, and a few Moulin Rouge references
Summary: You and Beck broke up two weeks before a Halloween party. You're still deeply in love with each other, but after being put through that pain, you don't want to listen to him. So what do you do?
Word Count: 5,422 (I got carried away...)
Notes: This has a song in it (I don't own the rights or anything), but I recommend listening before reading (It's linked below). All characters are 18+.
youtube
—
It was one of the best times of the year: Halloween. Everyone was getting ready to dress up and tick-or-treat (even if they were too old), going to parties, or just hanging out at home watching scary movies. It’s the night to be scared and eat so much candy to the point of tooth decay, and it is always one of the best holidays.
You, however, were not entirely excited.
Your friend, Tori, and her sister were hosting a Halloween party to participate in tonight's festivities, and you had decided to help with the set-up. It wasn’t like you were nervous to hang out with Tori while setting up; she wasn’t the issue. Some of the other people, who made an offer to help, were the issue.
You knew that this could be a bad idea considering your recent breakup with one of the helpers, Beck. It had been maybe two weeks, but your feelings for him still lingered; hope keeping them there.
You had left for Tori’s house around 10:30 a.m. and had gone to get coffee for the two of you. You debated on asking if anyone else wanted some, but when Tori told you no one was there yet, you didn’t bother.
You got to Tori’s house, and texted her so that you could get some help with taking stuff inside. There were a few decorations she wanted but couldn’t find, and since you hosted a Halloween party last year, you brought them.
“Hey, Y/n!” Tori said as she opened the car door and took the two coffee cups. “You’re a lifesaver; I am so tired.” You grabbed a few bags and followed her inside. “Thank you for coming to help with the setup, by the way. I really appreciate it.”
“It’s really not a problem, I didn’t have anything better to do anyways,” you said with a smile. That was a lie. You had plenty of better things to do. For example, not seeing Beck or Jade today sounded like a great idea.
You had left your makeup and costume in the trunk of your car, so you left to go grab them, Tori tagging along just for the hell of it.
You got to your car and had set your coffee and costume on the top of your car when you heard another car pull up. Looking to see who the driver, and apparently passenger, was. You held your breath. Jade drove Beck. Of course she did.
You tried to quickly grab your things, but fate had many other things in store. Your coffee fell, spilling everywhere, and as you tried to pick it up, you felt your costume fall on your head. “Good god, does anything else want to fall and make this day worse?” Tori had your makeup bag in hand, and you watched as it slowly unzipped, the contents spilling everywhere. “The universe is out to get me,” you complained, picking up your costume to keep it from getting in the coffee, and making attempts to grab the makeup.
Tori apologized, and grabbed your costume to take inside so that you could grab the makeup. It wasn’t her fault, you didn’t properly close the bag, so you couldn’t be upset with her. Thankfully there wasn’t too much damage to any of the more expensive things. You could tell that an eyeshadow pallet had busted considering the amounts of shiny pigments now littering the concrete.
You almost had everything back in the bag as Beck walked up to you. “Need some help?” He offered. You didn’t answer, but he grabbed the remaining lipsticks and a few other things that were still out of the bag. “Here.” He put the rest of your things back in your bag, and you zipped it up. You muttered a quick thank you, and quickly went inside.
“Hey, wait,” Beck called as he walked up to the door, Jade following close behind, but you just decided to shove past Tori and make your way to drop the stuff off in her room, knowing that any conversation with him would lead to you in tears. You knew they would both have to come upstairs, but you just needed a minute, so you threw your stuff on Tori’s bed, and walked into the bathroom right across the hall.
“Just let her go, she obviously doesn’t want to talk to you,” you heard Jade tell him as they made their way upstairs. You always assumed there was some sort of jealousy behind her actions. You knew that she used to have a crush on Beck, but he never reciprocated those feelings.
You knew that you were being childish about the whole situation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The relationship ended kind of poorly. He decided that he wanted to take a break, but he wasn’t communicating why, and he just suddenly broke it off with no explanation.
It took a week to do anything other than get out of bed and go to school, where all feelings were just worsened because as soon as Jade found out, she had taken advantage of the situation. Even though you two had become really good friends, she was being a bitch, to put it simply. You knew Jade would try to say something about it, that’s all she has been doing, and you really didn’t want to hear it today.
“I don’t see why you’re so upset about it, you just need to drop it,” you heard Beck say from the other side of the door.
“Well she doesn’t have to act like a bitch. You broke up with her, and she needs to accept that,” Jade responded. You knew she was just jealous, but there is no reason for her to act like this over something that she shouldn’t even be involved with.
“This isn’t your thing, though. You need to accept that.”
“I’m just saying that you could use someone who will actually be good for you. Y/n isn’t that person anymore,” she continued. You knew she wouldn’t stop until she was given a ‘good enough’ reason, but you didn’t have the energy to give her a reason. You opened the door to the bathroom as they walked into Tori’s room, and you looked behind you to see Beck freeze in the door.
He turned around and opened his mouth, but you just turned the other way and went downstairs.
—
Shortly after the little interaction, Cat and Robbie joined, and the decorating could finally commence.
“Okay so I need Jade and Cat to go put out the stuff for the lawn. Beck and Robbie, if you could get the stuff that needs to be hung up in tall places put up, that would be great. Y/n and I can work on the inside stuff.” Tori gave out lists of things that she wanted in each area, with a diagram of suggestions (that weren’t really suggestions) telling people where things should go.
You watched as everyone quickly went over to where the decorations were and got started. It hopefully wouldn’t be a long process as long as everyone was helping out.
It had been about an hour and as the decorating continued, you noticed that you and Tori were the only ones in the room. Setting down the garland you were holding, you walked over to her. “Tori, can I talk to you about something?”
She put the bats that were in her hands down. “Of course. What’s up?”
You sighed. You didn’t want to be the girl who constantly talked about her ex, but you needed to talk to someone, and she was the closest. “It’s about Beck,” you paused, waiting for her to say something, and you continued when she kept quiet. “I went upstairs earlier and hid in the bathroom, but I could hear Jade and Beck talking. Jade was being rude, talking about how Beck needed to forget about me. Beck didn’t really respond because I walked out, but he looked like he wanted to. I know I’m just being silly, and I’m probably overthinking, but it got me wondering about me and him. He’s been trying to talk to me whenever he gets the chance.”
“Maybe he just needs to explain himself and give you closure. Whether you want to talk to him about it or not is up to you, but I would say wait until you’re ready.” You weren’t sure if that’s what you wanted to hear or not.
“I don’t really want to talk to him. I honestly don’t even want to look at him,” you explained. She gave you a look of pity, placing a hand on your shoulder, and you just sighed. “I don’t know. I probably should just forget it for now. We have a party to get ready for.”
—
The decorating was coming together nicely. The party wasn’t for another few hours, and everyone was getting pretty hungry. You decided to go pick something up for everyone because it was an easier choice, and you needed to get out of there. Calling Andre, you got in the car and started driving. You didn’t want to be alone right now, and he was your best source of comfort.
“So from what I’m hearing, you should talk to Beck,” he said.
“I wouldn’t even know what to say. ‘Hey, I’m still desperately in love with you, and Jade sucks, so come back and date me because I’m the best person for you?’”
“I think that sounds perfect. See, you’ve got this. No reason to stress,” he joked.
“Thanks, Andre,” you huffed. “I don’t know what to do. A part of me doesn’t want to be with him at all because he was the one who broke it off, and left me without reason, but the other part of me is still very much in love with him. I honestly don’t want to even go to this party…I’m just so tempted to drop off the food and ditch.”
“I don’t think you should do that. Maybe you’ll find someone to hook up with, it might make you forget about Beck.”
Rolling your eyes you responded, “You know, you’re really not helping.”
He laughed before yelling something, most likely to his grandma. “Hey, so I have to go, but I can call you later if you absolutely need me to.”
“I think I’ll be okay. I hope your grandma is okay.”
“She’s fine, she’s just being her.”
“Have fun with that,” you said.
“I’ll try.” And then he was gone.
You made it to the takeout place, and got everyone’s orders, checked to make sure everything was right, and went back to Tori’s house.
—
“I think that’s it!” Tori said, admiring the work done around the house. The whole atmosphere had changed and the decorations looked great. Fake spiders and bats were strung up everywhere, there was a zombie in a wheelbarrow with a party hat, sunglasses, and a coconut that Jade stole from Sikowitz, a fog machine, and definitely more that really made the room come to life. “If you guys wanna go on ahead and get changed people will start arriving in around an hour give or take.”
You looked over to Beck who had already gotten up to go do whatever, and couldn’t help but feel regret. Everything he did made you feel something. He was what you thought to be your perfect match, and it pained you to know that he no longer was. You looked away and tried to just focus on the party, hoping that it would make you feel better.
You had just gone upstairs to get ready when he walked in. You watched as he grabbed his bag and began to walk out, not saying a word until he stopped before grabbing the door handle. “Y/n?” He turned around. You didn’t know if you could handle him talking to you right now.
Trying to settle on a response, “Yeah?” was all that would come out. You didn’t want to have this conversation before the party.
“I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t-”
“Beck, I’m sorry, but I really just want to enjoy this party. I’m not interested in hearing anything about us tonight. You said it was over – we were over, and I…” you paused, not entirely sure whether or not you wanted to say something you didn’t really mean. “I’m okay with it.”
The look he gave you was that of pure pain. You thought that those words were the ones he wanted to hear, but from the looks of it, that was far from the truth. All you heard from him was a sad sigh, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” and then he grabbed his bag and he was gone.
You didn’t entirely understand what he was sorry about, and you didn’t even know if you should care. Except you do, and it just hurts so much.
You ran a hand through your hair as you picked up your bag. You started with makeup, which for the costume, was fairly simple. You and Beck decided that you would go as Christian and Satine from the Broadway version of Moulin Rouge as soon as you heard of Tori’s party. You didn’t know if he was still planning on being Christian, but you spent too much money not to use your costume.
You kind of just sat in Tori’s room while everyone else was getting ready, the only other person who actually used the room was Tori, and she didn’t mind. She needed help getting her eyelashes on anyway.
“So are you excited about tonight?” She asked as you held a set of teezers dangerously close to her eye.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” you responded, setting the eyelash perfectly.
“Why not? It’s going to be fun,” she insisted.
You blew on the other eyelash to get the glue tacky before also applying that one. “I just can’t help but get the feeling that Jade has it out for me, or that something is going to go wrong tonight.”
“I don’t think you should worry. There’s going to be a ton of people, and who knows, maybe you’ll find someone cute to take your mind off Beck,” she said with a smile.
“That’s almost exactly what Andre said,” you said with a small chuckle as you walk over to your bag. You pulled your black and tan bodysuit, robe, and fishnets out of your bag, and grabbed your boots. The outfit was almost an exact replica of the one Satine wears when she first meets the Duke. “I’m going to go change in the bathroom, I’ll be back in just a minute.”
It was an easy costume to get into, the biggest struggle was zipping it up, but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t handle. You looked in the mirror and pushed your hair being your ears. So maybe it wasn’t that the costume was too expensive to not wear, it was returnable, but maybe you just wanted to make a statement. Wearing the other half to a couples costume after a breakup? Almost a power move.
You turned the handle to the door and walked out, hearing the floor creak from the room next to you. Jade was standing at the door. “You look amazing, Y/n,” she said, with a smile and tone that was almost definitely fake.
“Oh…thank you, I like your costume too,” you tried returning the compliment, feeling that danger was ahead and trying to defuse it in advance. She was wearing a costume that resembled Janis from Mean Girls.
She huffed out a laugh and you could feel embarrassment creeping up your face. “I just don’t understand why you’re being such a bitch to Beck. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“What?” Her statements took you off guard.
“I mean I get that he broke up with you, but he was probably just trying to save his reputation.”
“Jade-” you started before she cut you off.
“I mean look at you! You look so cheap. No wonder he left. Did you just put this on to try and impress him? Trying to win him back?” She put on a mocking tone, and gave a little pout.
“Why are you being so rude? Why are you always so rude?” you asked, trying to figure out a way to get her to stop. You knew she was just trying to get a rise out of you, but the words hurt either way.
“You’re pathetic,” she said, ignoring what you said entirely. “You think he would want to be with someone as disgusting as you? He doesn’t love you, he never loved you, and he never will. But by all means, continue to try, that way we all can enjoy the show when you inevitably embarrass yourself.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What the hell is wrong with you? All you’re doing is being an attention seeker, and it’s not cute.”
“Just leave me alone. There is no reason for you to be acting like this,” you thought you had raised your voice, but it was just a whisper. Tears began threatening to fall.
You heard Tori’s door creak open and watched as she walked out, trying to come to your rescue. “Jade? What the hell?”
“All you are is trash, just some leftovers Beck threw out.” She paused, and you began to walk away. “Stop being such a whore, and go home.” And then she was gone.
“Y/n?” Tori put her hand on your shoulder, but you just shrugged it off.
You watched as she went back down the stairs, and then the tears started to fall. They weren’t sad tears, they were angry. Angry because of Jade, angry because of Beck, and angry because of the party. “I’m going home,” you stated, not listening to the pleas from your friend. You grabbed your phone, which you didn’t realize you left in the bathroom and raced down the hall, not caring about the clothes and makeup you left in Tori’s room, you’d get them later.
“You shouldn’t listen to her, she’s just jealous. Please, don’t leave, it’s going to be a fun night,” Tori tried to bargain.
“If she wants me gone, then I’m gone.” You couldn’t quite hear what she said after that, you were trying to block everything out.
“Y/n?” Beck called as you ran down the stairs, angry tears flooding your vision.
“Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you.” You didn’t know whether that was a lie or not.
“Y/n, please,” he begged, trying to grab your hand, but you slipped from his grasp, walking a little faster. The music had already started, but you could hardly hear it over your heart beating. Or maybe it was your head pounding.
You made it out the front door, not realizing he was still chasing you until he grabbed your arm tight enough so that you couldn’t escape this time. “Beck, please just let me go. You are the last person I want to see or talk to right now,” you said struggling against his grasp, trying to rip your arm away.
He gently cupped your face so that you would look at him, and you did, until it was too painful. “Look at me.” It didn’t sound like a demand, more like a request. You looked at him, and he began to wipe away your tears. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything,” you stated. His mouth dropped to a frown. “Just please leave me alone.” His hand left your face and dropped onto your shoulder.
“I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Coming here was a mistake. I just want to go back home.” You tried yanking your arm again, but to no avail he wasn’t letting you go. He tried pulling you over to lean on the wall, but you weren’t budging. “Beck, please,” you were pleading, metaphorically down on your knees, begging. “I just want to go home.”
“No you don’t. I know you too well. What is wrong?” He emphasized the last sentence.
“Everything is wrong. This party, me, you, this costume, us. Everything except for Jade. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Really?” He scoffed and you glared at him. “What did she tell you?” He demanded, but you remained silent. “I can guarantee you that it’s wrong.”
“Does it matter? We aren’t together anymore, in case you forgot. Now let me go, you’re going to bruise my arm.”
“It does matter because it’s obviously hurting you-”
“Why do you care?” you snapped. “You hurt me first, and you’re hurting me now. Now let go of my arm.” He dropped your arm at this, and just stood there, but you didn’t move. “You don’t get to try and make it better when you made it bad to begin with,” and then you walked away.
—
You made it home, but just sat in your living room while you texted Tori that you would come over tomorrow to get your stuff and help clean up. It was only 8:00 p.m. The party had started about an hour ago, and you couldn’t help but regret your decision. You really wanted to go, but you just felt so unwanted. There was too much going through your mind, but the genuine contemplation of whether you should go back still lingered. It could help you get your mind off of things, but you didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself anymore.
So you sat there, still in your Satine costume, sipping on a cup of hot tea. You fixed your makeup after the crying stopped so that you could still take pictures because you were pretty proud of how your costume turned out, even if some people didn’t. You took a few photos and posted them with the caption “the unique, the indomitable, the one and only: Satine <3” and checked to see how the party was going. You scrolled through stories and posts until you got bored, so you set your phone on the table, turned on the T.V. and drank your tea.
Your phone lit up, so you went to check it when you saw Beck’s username pop up, saying he liked your post. You rolled your eyes and turned ‘do not disturb’ on, and decided to get some better clothes on.
Before you went upstairs to take off your costume and get ready for bed, you heard a knock at the door. You didn’t think any trick-or-treaters would come by since it was later and there was an empty candy bowl by your door with the sign saying to “only take one,” but you still wrapped your sheer robe to conceal something, trying not to scar a child.
But it wasn’t a child, it was Andre. “Hey pretty lady,” he smiled. He’d come dressed as a Grim Reaper, and you had to hand it to him, it was a good costume.
“What are you doing here? There’s a party going on.”
“I’ve come to collect the Sparkling Diamond so that she can have some fun,” he said, his smile growing a bit wider.
“I have had my share of that party, Andre.”
“Come on, it’ll be fun! There’s karaoke, some pretty good food, and you look stunning in that outfit, and you should show yourself off.” You laughed at this.
“I just…I don’t want to talk to Beck right now. I can’t face him because I said things I regret and I don’t want to think about it,” you explained.
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything, you won’t even see him tonight,” he offered. You contemplated the decision, wondering if it really was worth it.
“It could be fun…”
“It will be fun,” he corrected. You smiled at this. “So is that a yes?”
“Fine, I’ll go, I guess.”
He grabbed your arm and began walking before he froze and said, “Before we go…if I may…a bit more rouge? Yes?”
You let out a laugh at the reference. “Always.”
—
“Y/n! You’re back!” Cat was the first to greet you, giving you a hug. Her hair was pulled into two pigtails with black extensions spread throughout.
“I love the Daculaura costume, it's very cute.”
“Thanks! Come on, let's go dance, or sing some karaoke!” She did a little shimmy and grabbed your arm so you followed her to the dance floor.
Some kid was already on the stage, singing some song that you didn’t quite recognize. But you didn’t care and you danced, your mood beginning to life. It felt good to just throw away all of your cares and just dance.
“Oh my god, Y/n, welcome back!” Tori gave you a hug and paused. “There’s no karaoke line! You should sing something,” she said, putting an arm around your shoulder and walking you towards the booth.
“I don’t know…I wouldn’t even know what to sing,” you stopped, looking for them in the crowd, with no luck. Thank god. “Actually…I might.” You walked up to the booth, ready to request your song.
“Ay look, it’s the Sparkling Diamond!” The DJ called. “Whatcha thinking of singing?” He needed to shout over the crowd because it was so loud.
“Can you play-” A hand fell on your shoulder. You knew this hand because it has held your hands millions of times, cupped your face millions of times, landed on your shoulders millions of times. You knew this hand.
“‘Crazy Rolling’ from Moulin Rouge, please.”
“Ooh Christian is joining the party now! The stage is all yours!” He’s Christian. He wore the costume. You knew that he knew your feelings for this song. You two would sing it together all the time with no reasoning, but it became your song in the strangest of ways.
“What are you doing?” You asked, slightly shouting so he could hear over the people.
“Apologizing,” he got on the stage and held one hand out for you to take, and the other to give you a microphone. You hesitantly accepted both.
“This isn’t really the song to apologize to-” but it was too late. The music started. You looked out at the crowd of people. The song started out slow, so the dancing stopped and they were all just staring at the two of you. You didn’t know how you felt about it.
“I remember when, I remember…I remember when I lost my mind…” You stared at him as he started. He used the costume, and damn did he look good. He wasn’t using the coat, which is understandable because it was pretty hot. The sleeves were rolled up perfectly, the first button undone, exposing the top of his chest, his ascot loosely hanging around his neck. The blue was the perfect color on him. He was staring at you the whole time, but once he started to get caught in the song, you noticed the little things he does when singing. “See how I leave with every piece of you. Don’t underestimate the things that I will do.” The way his nose scrunched at certain notes, his hands waved in the air, how he would stomp when he said a line that was intense enough, all of it was perfect.
He continued the song, glancing up on the occasion, probably to make sure you weren’t running for the hills. “Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Probably…” His voice was enchanting. If someone told you that he was putting a spell on you, you would probably believe them, but you wouldn’t be complaining.
You listened for your entrance, knowing it was coming up soon, and when it came up, you let every emotion out. “Baby I have no story to be told, but I’ve heard one for you, and I’m gonna make your head burn.” You walked towards him, unsure of why, and placed your hand on his chest, pushing him back ever so slightly, a smirk crossing his face. He was watching your every move so intensely that you could feel every cell in your body light on fire. “Think of me in the depths of your despair. Making a home down there ‘cause mine sure won’t be shared.”
It had come to the part where you were both singing, and you were staring each other in the eyes. Focusing on your words rather than his, you sang. “The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love they leave me breathless…I can’t help feeling-”
“-We could’ve had it all.” You both sang, and you grabbed his arm as he grabbed your waist. “Rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside of your hand, and you played it to the beat.” You knew this couldn’t be acting because your emotions were running wild. Both of you were lost with each other, every person in the room vanished.
The song rolled back to just him singing and you let him go, watching his mannerisms as he put his heart into it.
A few more verses passed and you were nearing the end, unsure of what direction you were heading in together, but you were prepared for whatever happened. “Maybe I’m crazy.” His hand snaked around your back. “Maybe I’m crazy.” You looked in his eyes. “You had my heart inside your hand.” His hand went to the back of your neck. “And you played it, you played it, you played it.” His hand now under your chin, tilting your head up. Your heart was racing at this point. “You played it. To the beat.” The song finished, and neither of you could hold it in anymore. Your lips collided and you could tell everything he was feeling at the moment. The kiss was full of passion and love, anger and pain. Everything you felt was the same for him. You let each other go, and you could hear the applause from everyone, giving an awkward bow.
“Give it up for Christian and Satine!” The DJ yelled through the microphone and another round of applause burst out. Grabbing your hand, he led you off the stage. His hand was on your back again, he wasn’t letting you go. He wasn’t risking that again. You made eye contact with Tori, who gave you a thumbs up, and went back to talking to whoever she was talking with.
“I think we should go somewhere a bit more quiet,” Beck shouted over the speakers. You agreed and made your way out the front door.
As soon as he shut the door to muffle the noise, you were ready with your questions. “What was that?”
“I…I don’t know. I knew you wouldn’t talk to me without something giving you a nudge. I know how you are, and I know that I hurt you without any explanation, but I didn’t want to.”
“I don’t understand. You didn’t want to break up with me, but you did it anyway? That makes no sense,” you said, crossing your arms. This is the part you were dreading: the conversation. You wanted to talk about it, but it was terrifying. Communication is key, and you two always were great with communicating, but this is different.
“I know, and I know there’s no excuse for what I did. I just got scared, I guess. You are practically perfect, and I felt…unworthy. Like I just didn’t deserve you. I got scared, and I ran. I should’ve just talked to you about it, and now that I’m talking it over I’m realizing just how foolish I was. I love you, Y/n. I love you so much that I can’t even comprehend it, and it’s terrifying. You’re the one that I want, forever and always. I…I can’t lose you, but I felt as though I had to.”
“Beck…you didn’t have to lose me. I never would have left you because you are who I love. The only one I love, and the only one that I want to love for the rest of my life. I know we’re young, but it’s the truth.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, and I don’t know if there’s a way to make it up to you, but I guarantee I will not stop trying-”
“You coming back to me is enough,” you stated, softly stroking his arm. You brought a hand up to his cheek and he leaned into the touch.
“I’m back. We are back.”
#victorious x reader#victorious#beck oliver#beck oliver x reader#jade west#jade west x reader#andre harris#andre harris x reader#cat valentine#cat valentine x reader#tori vega#tori vega x reader#nickelodeon#angst with a happy ending#angst#x reader#jade victorious#beck victorious#andre victorious#tori victorious#cat victorious#beck oliver victorious#jade west victorious#andre harris victorious#tori vega victorious#halloween#halloween party#fanfiction#moulin rouge#moulin rouge x reader
970 notes
·
View notes
Text
kim taerae as your boyfriend | headcanons
❀ paring: kim taerae x gn!reader
❀ warnings; pure fluff, i call him a loser bf, lowercase, kind of proof read. i think thats it ?!
❀ a/n : this is my first time posting 😓 bit scared. apologize for any grammatical errors. exams are around the corner and i do this instead of studying. lowkey a self insert?? but enjoy it !! 🤍++ was listening to double take by dhruv writing this. sets the mood well !
taerae your cutie pookie boyfriend ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
he’s a math major or something close to mathematics, something like engineering.
actually I see him do economics (maybe because i wanna do it)
minor in psychology just because I said so. because of his curiosity, though he might drop it later realizing it's not for him
bf!taerae will remember to bring you either a snack or coffee or a drink to help you get through your morning because let's be real most of arent really a morning person
he would be gamer bf too. so sometimes you might find yourself competing for his attention with a game. not to worry tho he would cuddle with you and give you unlimited amount of kisses!! :D
he would love to have study dates !! it doesn’t matter what you’re studying. he will make sure to at least have one date where you but just study.
gives him a chance to admire your focused look and snap some cute pictures, which he can look back and smile giggle at loser bf taerae all the way ☝️
I see him sending you good luck texts before exams. reminders on to eat or get enough sleep.
he would leave some kinda snack or nuts on your table while you study for your exams. because thats something your mom did for you all the time. #asiancoded
he would wait for you after your exam and give you a hug the moment you see him saying you did well. you do the same for him.
if your exams clash y’all meet up later on the day and discuss about how the exam went and do some kinda stress relieving activity like watching a movie or "attempt" (keyword attempt) bake something
on the last exam you have he would surely be waiting for you with some kinda sweet or drink that you love with a cute note saying you did well !
HE IS SO AFFECTIONATE YOU FEEL LIKE YOURE NEXT TO A PUPPY !!! <33 ALSO SOMETIMES HES SO ADORABLE YOU HIDE THE URGE TO EAT HIM ‼️🤍🤍
he would welcome you everyday like he hasn't seen you for ages (even if it's just been 10 mins).
i feel like his love language is quality time and act of service with with a sprinkle of physical touch !
when you're with his friends, he'll naturally have his arms around you. not in a possessive way, rather because its comfortable. his friends loved you and prefers you over him. dont tell him that tho
playful fights with junhyeon on who should get more affection. honestly youre a junrae in secret but taerae doesn't need to know that. youre so happy that he has someone he can be that close with !!
what else from zb1 i feel like you will be close with matt , ricky and gyuvin maybe gunwook too? the moment you see yujin you'll adopted him without a second thought you'd even fight the zb1 boy's for his custody.
guitar classes everyday ! it’s sometimes educational, other times he'll play your favorite songs for you. he just loves to flex his guitar skills.
you enjoy it as much because you see his cute smile, more bonding time and you also get to take cute picture of him or videos.
this is so domestic im feeling single.
he would send you a random cafe or restaurant he sees, suggesting to go there and try to it. later on both of you will rate the food, the service and the aesthetics and decide if it’s worth to go again.
he would have some thing you've given him or a remind of you in his car or wallet or phone so there is piece you with him always <\3
in conclusion i want a bf like taerae <\3
#zb1#zerobaseone#zerobaseone taerae#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone x reader#zerobaseone headcanon#zb1 headcanon#kim taerae#taerae#taerae fluff#taerae x reader#kpop
69 notes
·
View notes
Note
steven meeks x fem reader smut pls!
Oneshot: Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
< Atention: Modern AU where Neil lives, and Welton’s a boys & girls school. This piece is a bit further into future and everyone's at college already.
Warnings: Fluff, +16 content, if you’re under 16y or feel uncomfortable with the prompt please do not interact! Nothing way too explicit, but there’s a lot of sexual insinuation and generally soft smut, Steven being a housewife, an obscene amount of The Cure reference, hints of sub! Steven >
Words: 1.8k ;
Note: Heyy there, so I recommend listenning to Hot Hot Hot!!! by The Cure while reading (it was the main inspiration, but if you really want to dive in, listen to the entire album- Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me);
There's a bunch of songs excerpts in here, all from the same album, and they're supposed to translate what's going in Steven's head, since I headcanon him as an action person and the reader knows he has ways of by-passing his verbal difficulty it through music.
Plot: Steven and you have been dating for awhile, and now in college with both constantly exhausted you've been out of time for each other. Steven decides to fix that and make room for you in his schedule if you know what I mean.
Steven Meeks x (fem!) reader
Also, here’s my Meeks playlist, hope you enjoy it!
Steven was your best friend, and it has been like this since the both of you met. He had a crush on you from the start, you intrigued him, and after a few schemes and setups from his friends, you had your first date at the movie theater. After that, it became really clear that the infatuation was mutual, and also that both of you were willing to take your time with things.
By the end of high school, you were in a stable strong relationship. You knew him like the back of your hand, and he used all his scientific expertise into studying you as well. Charlie always joked that you were like an old married couple, and as odd as it could be, you felt like that too.
However, physical intimacy was a current problem. Not because you didn't want it (you were both starving from it) but due to the unpleasant circumstances that had followed you. In Welton, there was never a proper place for things to unravel naturally. It was always rushed by the fear of getting caught, and neither of you liked that, at least not as a regular condition.
At the beginning of the semester, things were heavenly. You made an arrangement to share your dorm with him, and so, you lived almost literally like a married couple. Enjoying all the bliss that domestic life could offer. It also helped a great deal to truly enjoy each other's bodies and engage in emotionally fulfilling intimacy.
That was, until last month. College life was starting to weigh on both of you, and though the desire was still under your skin, exhaustion often took over your body. Not to mention that your routines would often mismatch, making Steven go to sleep by the time you would wake up and vice versa.
It didn't make you feel insecure, the boy loved you. He'd still kiss your hand every time he greeted you. He'd still bring you snacks during your study sessions, remembering you to make regular pauses and drink water. He'd still avoid smoking near you because he knew you hated the smell. You could see clearly that the feeling hasn't faded one bit, but you were frustrated.
And so was he. Steven would never complain or express, verbally, his discontent. But every time he would embrace you behind and lay his head on your shoulder, you could feel the tired sigh coming out of his mouth. You could hear him mumbling an apology whenever he got in bed later than you.
This week your tests had finally been over, and Christmas was in sight: only one week left. As you arrived at your dorm, you noticed your boyfriend was already there. A delicious smell came from the oven, and a pan was placed on the stove, cooking pasta.
Steven caught you by surprise with his embrace, "Welcome home, darling." You could tell he was happy, "What's the occasion?" you asked as he gently entwined your fingers and guided your hand to his lips, placing a soft peck. "Freedom. I'm finally free, now I can fully enjoy you, and I intend to do it properly within every second of this weekend. Starting tonight," he said looking at his wristwatch "Friday, 10p.m." a coy smile tugging the corners of his mouth.
"You're unreal, you know that Steven Meeks?" you said as you detangled yourself from his embrace, intending to face him directly. You cupped his cheeks as they've become a light pink, emphasizing his freckles. He stared at you, shy and smitten. He then bend, touching his forehead to yours, and closed his eyes enjoying the warmth.
"I love you." He whispered, like a confession. The noise of steam interrupted the moment and made Meeks drive away, leaving your hands empty. He stirred the content a bit and looked at you, "Take a shower, it will be ready when you get out." You took the advice and went your way.
The hot water helped your muscles to relax and you felt like you could, after weeks of stress compiled, slow down. As you got out, a set of Christmas-themed pajamas freshly out of the dryer rested patiently on your bed, waiting for you. A chuckle escaped your lips, when did he even get time to shop you something?
You showed up in the kitchen already dressed, you saw two plates of spaghetti and a tray full of cinnamon rolls placed on the table. Steven was washing the dishes when he heard you arrived and smiled in contempt "It fits!" His hands gesturing towards your body, "I got it earlier when I went over town to buy the ingredients. Just saw this set with the corner of my eye on my way to the cashier and remembered how your previous one shrunk last week."
"Does that mean you don't want me wearing your shirts to sleep anymore?" you said, teasingly as it was your turn to embrace him from behind. "Absolutely. It was getting very hard to focus on my tasks with you wandering around every night in my clothes." you couldn't see his face but you could hear through his voice that he was smirking.
As Steven finished the dishes, he took your hand and guided you to the table. "Now, let's eat. I'm starving," he said as a grunt came out of your stomach causing you both to laugh. You ate and talked through the night simply enjoying your time together.
After all the dishes were savored you watched him set up a fun melody from the first Spotify playlist he gifted you. The song started as he also started dancing to the melody, gesturing towards you. You started dancing as well, surrounding your arms on his neck while his hands organically grabbed your waist.
Hey, you!
Yes, you...
You, the one that looks like Christmas...
Come over here and kiss me!!!
Kiss me!!!
Your smitten gaze met his, as you shared a passionate and slow kiss. You felt yourself completely melt into his arms, as his hands now at the small of your back bringing you closer. He parted your lips and laid his head onto your shoulder, recovering oxygen.
I kissed her face, I kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways
I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away, she said
Why won't you ever know
That I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you?
"I can't wait to marry you." His warm breath caressed your neck, his voice low, almost in as if he was stating that to himself solely. The tip of your fingers softly stroking his auburn hair. "I missed you so much, love," you said, in the same tone. He held you tighter, "I know. Me too." he raised his face from the crook of your neck, and bend touching foreheads again.
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
You danced to the melody as one, letting your bodies be guided by the rhythm. Eyes hypnotized by each other's, his mouth being pulled by yours as magnets. He kissed you, his hands crawling to the back of your neck deepening the kiss. He was starved from you. You could tell it wasn't just a matter of flesh, it wasn't just primal. It was ancient, almost spiritual.
He didn't want just your body, he wanted your time, your dedication, your devotion. He wanted to dive into your soul once again and have you become one. And he would willingly provide the same for you. When your breath was lost, your lips parted. Inches away, panting desperately. You watched as his lips, already swollen, would repeatedly open and close signing the passage of air.
Tonight I'm screaming like an animal
Tonight I'm losing control
Tonight I'm screaming like an animal
Tonight I'm getting so low
The lyrics came through the speakers as the realization hit you, making you chuckle. "You put the entire album?" "Not the entire album..." his one-sided grin made your heart skip a beat, "but yeah, like, half of it. I found it to be quite appropriate since I do want you to kiss me, kiss me, kiss me." the burst of laughter came immediately, making your eyes squint.
"Well, you're very hot, hot, hot yourself, love." you stroke back right after. "Happy to serve," he spoke softly as his mouth made its way to your neck. "speaking of which, how can I please you tonight?" you gasped as goosebumps covered your body. "God, Steven..." your hands clenching around his shoulder now.
As you felt his lips ghost over your exposed neck, an unintelligible mumble exiting it as you guided both to your shared bed. You pushed him a little, causing your boyfriend to sit on it while you stood. He brought you closer, placing you between his legs, looking up at you in adoration with strands of ginger curly hair stuck onto his temples.
You pushed his hair back and cupped his face delicately, caressing his cheek with your thumb as his eyes submerged into your figure. He bit his lower lip, completely enchanted.
The third time I saw lightning strike
It hit me in bed
It threw me around
And left me for dead
For a second that room was on the moon
You placed your other hand on his neck, this time thumb under his chin gently forcing it up. "I love it when you're subservient like this, truly makes justice to your name." he smiled, enamored. You got closer whilst he tried capturing your lips. You recoiled, taunting him as a sadistic grin took over your face. His hunger frame almost made you feel guilty, but deep down you knew these power displays were what kept things thrilling for you both.
Finally, you gave in to his embrace. You let his hands wander through your body, helping you to undress from the pajamas. You switch positions with you, fully undressed laying in the bed and him standing. He took his shirt off with one swift motion and watched your body as he finished undressing.
You're so gorgeous I'll do anything!
I'll kiss you from your feet
To where your head begins!
You're so perfect!
You're so right as rain!
You make me
Make me hungry again
He dove into bed, kissing every part of you he could reach with his mouth. His hands pulled you closer and closer each time as if he would be able to merge your bodies together. Ravishing adoration in each gesture, delicacy within each touch, and reverence carved in his glance.
You're not sure how long it took for the both of you to be fully satisfied, but as you rested your head on his chest you could hear a soft melody playing in the background alluring you into sleep. You made yourself comfortable as your left hand traced invisible patterns near his heart.
And hold me up so high
And never let me go
Take me
Take me in your arms tonight
Just like that, everything else beyond your bedroom walls was irrelevant, and you slept soundly.
Tag list: @tall-my-beloved ;
Hope you like it! I take requests by ask! (info on requests);
Also, you’ll find more of my writing here.
#duxpuella fanfics#dead poets society#dps fanfiction#dps fic#dps boys#dps au#dps fandom#steven meeks#steven meeks x reader#steven meek x reader#steven meeks headcanons
197 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag Yourself as Energies my friends and I have
🐺 Werewolf Energy 🐺
Has an intimidating "tough guy" presence but is actually a big softie.
Has a contagious howl like laughter that they hate but everyone adores.
Less of a wolf kind of werewolf and more of a golden retriever kind of werewolf.
Actually insanely dog-like (IE: strong sense of hearing, taste, smell. Red-Green colorblind and wears glasses.)
Loves to cook but doesn't drain their ground beef. Says that's where all the flavor is and will not listen to reason.
Has a deep booming voice that you can hear from across the house. Even across an empty field on a good day.
Doesn't mind getting dirty and prefers hands-on types of jobs.
Laid back but has zero tolerance for bullshit.
Only truly scary when they're angry or frustrated which is rare from them.
Actually knows the phases of the moon by heart.
Aesthetic: Muddy clothes, Messy hair, Sun kissed skin, Piercing gaze, The roar of an engine, Oil stained hands, Leather jackets, Bacon and eggs in the morning, Hamburgers and fries from Mom and Pop shops, The full moon peeking out over the treeline, Audio books, Caramel flavored coffee, Driving with the radio full blast, Light growling, Thunderstorms, Lazy days, Tequila shots, Loud laughter
Theme Song: The Nights by Avicii
🐉 Dragon Energy 🐉
Like werewolf, they're more akin to a dragon from a kid's movie rather than a traditional dragon.
Major hoarder and has a spending problem. Most of their hoards consist of art supplies, crystals, candles, weird trivial objects they find on the street, stuffed animals, DnD dice, lighters, knives, etc.
Able to romantize and find the beauty in even the most mundane of activities like a trip to the grocery store, a boring car ride or doing laundry.
Sleeps in a "nest" of blankets, pillows and stuffed animals with the A/C full blast. Can't sleep otherwise.
A child at heart and has an imagination so vivid they often get lost in it. They often need a little guidance back into the real world.
Loves going on adventures and exploring new places. Can turn even the most mundane errand into a fun excursion.
Sometimes their emotions are too much to handle and they might get overwhelmed and explode. They always feel guilty about it though and apologize afterward.
Fiercely protective of their treasures (aka: their friends) and would probably die for their friends if they had to. Though maybe a little too protective.
Opens their mouth wide when they yawn because it makes them feel like they're roaring.
Bites and headbutts their friends as a show of affection.
Aesthetic: Shed snake skin, Shiny objects, Watercolor paint, Fleeting eye contact, Soft blanket nests, Gray afternoons, Chai tea, Apple Cinnamon candles, Fine china, The glow of a heat lamp, Notebooks, Big fluffy clouds, Vivid sunsets, Bonfires, Head stuck in the clouds, Aluminum pins, Thrift shop clothes, Wide eyed stares, Awkward toothy grins, Fountain pens, Patchwork jackets, Cracking your knuckles
Theme Song: Geronimo by Sheppard
🦋 Mothman Energy 🦋
Has real cryptid energy, thanks to their height and lanky limbs. Not to mention they're already a chaos incarnate to boot.
Immuno-compromised and kind of delicate but doesn't let that stop them from obtaining their dreams.
Has the spice tolerance of a God. Will eat a whole bag of hot cheetos till their mouth is completely raw.
Stares at lights before turning them, thus accidentally blinding themselves each time. Does it so much that everyone genuinely thinks they might be part mothman.
Honestly just hates society and people in general and wants to live in the mountains as a hermit for the rest of their life.
Pretty much everything they wear came out of the 60s-70s era.
Knows an astounding amount of information on cryptids from all different states and even countries.
"When your sleep schedule is abysmal, you can sleep anytime."
Seems to subsist entirely on root beer and mountain kickstart pineapple orange mango.
Has at least twenty different kinds of potted plants in their room, all in various handmade pots and on every available surface.
Aesthetic: Moss samples, Cheap ramen noodles, Cat hair on clothes, Bomber jackets and aviator sunglasses, Leather messenger bag, Pine trees, Waterlogged boots, Moths flying around a street light, Watching the stars, Wondering what's out there, Empty paint cans, Early morning walks, Zoo and museum visits, Befriending a stray cat, Watching obscure movies, Oragami figures, Late night talks, Sarcasm, Walking sticks, RGB lights
Theme Song: The Moss by Cosmo Sheldrake
👽 Alien Energy 👽
Dresses like a cartoon character and it's honestly so cute. Wears a lot of patterns and colors that somehow all work together.
Mall culture to the max. Responsible for keeping the American mall dream alive.
Kinda shy but genuinely sweet. Will always offer you help when you need it.
Absolutely loves weird and unique animals, especially elephants. They track all the ones in captivity and give updates frequently.
Like Mothman, is very tall and lanky with long limbs. They also have freckles just like a galaxy.
Misses arcades and wishes they would come back. Goes to Dave and Busters for their birthday ever year.
All their pets are unique and named after foods such as their sharpei dog, Taco.
Has an old barn on their property where stray cats like to take refuge.
Loves old Disney movies and anime. Their favorite disney movie is Lilo and Stitch.
They also have a huge collection of anime and disney related figurines. A whole shelf full and continuing to grow.
Aesthetic: Teal and turquoise, Varsity jackets and athletic shorts, Pixie cuts, Binging anime, Microwave popcorn, Cuddling with your pets, Shag carpets, Colorful notebooks and fun pencils, Scented markers, Cotton candy soap, Cheaply made gimmick erasers, Tile floors, Homemade slime, Glowsticks, Stickers on laptop, Marble soda, Fairy lights, Ramen shops, Cinnabons, Star shaped Earrings, Young Adult Novels, Sour candy, Hibiscus tea, Orange tic tacs
Theme Song: Something in the Water by Brooke Fraser
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
wenclair headcannons
tags: @gwynrr
astringent - platonic
gift giving as their love language will forever remain canon to ME
"im going to die." "enid, the wifi had just been cut off for a few minutes."
both kinda lazy to go out on plans so they have movie nights
wednesday forces enid to listen to a horror or a true crime podcast, until eventually enid can't sleep anymore and wednesday stops this hobby.
in revenge, enid watches clueless and mean girls with wednesday.
both unironically love musicals, especially heathers (maybe enid more than wednesday bc she sings songs from it nonstop)
homework freak (wednesday) x couldnt give two shits (enid) unless homework freak lists an amount of stuff that could happen in the future if they don't do their homework.
enid dressed up as coraline, wednesday dressed up as wybie
matching pjs
thing sneaks in food for their movie nights that he also gets to crash in
enid loves to do wednesday's makeup but its only strictly powder, eyeliner, dark eyeshadow and dark lipstick (due to her allergies) which saddens her but makes wednesday rest in peace.
sweet - fluff
wednesday = little spoon
enid = big spoon
wednesday would do anything, and i mean ANYTHING for enid.
can't focus on exams? she already made notes for enid so she can study
study sessions with thing holding up flash cards as they both review
wednesday despises pda but when provoked she will do thr little things (cheek kisses, holdinf hands, waist pulling)
theyre a converse x doc martens shoes kinda couple
"how tf can u walk in those? "
she tells enid to stop blogging gossip, enid thinks abt it, stops for a while then returns after a 3 week hiatus
enid eats dark chocolate w wednesdsy, pretendinf to like it- in reality she spits it out in the bathroom sink.
enid's pet names are "luv" or "sweetie" or "baby"
wednesday acts like she despises them (secretly loves them)
enid KNOWS that she does.
she falls asleep to wednesday playing the cello
wednesday reminds her that she can't use her cello sessions as a flaw in her character while arguing cus enid actually likes it.
they dont do dates bc wednesday is not like yk used to going out w a lover but theyre doing progress (hence DRAGGING her out the dorm)
bitter - angst
almost never fights but if they do its sumn BIG.
enid loves attention and can't live without wednesday's so when frustration builds more and more...
boom goes enid, screaming her lungs off at wedneeday and then saying sorry afterwards cus she thought SHE was being mean
wednesday thinks its cute but then realizes her mistake and then she has difficulty apologizing bc their fights are always somehow against her morals and philosophy
enid gives her the silent treatment if it takes her a long time to apologize
though shes always remind her of her own faults, subtly.
mk ive run out of ideas
#wenclair#wenclair headcanon#xu's headcannons#wednesday addams netflix#wednesday 2022#enid sinclair#wednesday is soft for enid
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
9 people I would like to get to know better
I was tagged by @telomeke thank you for the tag! :)
last song: Clementine by Halsey
I love this song way too much. Honestly I love this whole album an insane amount. I don’t usually listen to full albums so this is one of the rare ones that I do.
favorite color: purple and also light shades of green
last movie/tv show: movie? A low budget cdrama movie that I don’t even know the name of because it was uploaded to YouTube and the comments were super unhelpful with finding the name haha (I like melodrama of it all okay?)
TV show? I rewatched ep12 of Kiseki last night because I am never getting over this show. As for new (at least new to me) I finally had the time to watch some more of The Eclipse (ep 3 and 4) and I love watching the teachers fuck up because they may not have realized it but their own plan backfired on them (at least for the main characters)
sweet/spicy/savory: sweet! Chocolate is my weakness and I’m not sorry about it haha. I don’t eat a lot of spicy food, though I do enjoy more mild spicy on occasion and I do also enjoy savory foods as well :)
relationship status: single and very happy that way. Maybe I’ll meet someone I want to be with one day but that day has not arrived and I can’t say I’m looking very hard.
current obsession: Kiseki definitely! I am never moving on from this show. Both couples are compelling to me and have good development. The plot might be a little shaky but I managed to track down a copy of the translation and the book is the same way (and I also discovered that Chen Yi and Ai Di’s story is written almost completely from scratch. They are in the book but they are more minor characters…and also Chen Yi was originally the same age as Ai Di and Zong Yi haha)
last thing I googled: the conversion rate between Chinese yuan and Canadian dollars. Cdramas always seem to a character needing to borrow a lot of money from someone else for medical reasons and while I can tell it is a lot of money based on how the characters act about it, it’s always helpful to me to have a frame of reference for exactly how much it is.
Tagging: @poetry-protest-pornography @negrowhat @sparklyeyedhimbo @talistheintrovert @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @theflagscene @kimkhimhant @bengiyo
No pressure of course and I apologize if any of you have already done it and I missed it! Of course as always if anyone else wants to do it that I didn’t tag, consider yourself tagged :)
#tag game#thank you again for the tag :)#kiseki dear to me#the eclipse#halsey#manic album#cap does tags memes#cap speaks
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blue & grey - Han Jisung || The one where you finally let the light in.
------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------
|| The one where you finally let the light in.
Summary -> In your grey world, you've never imagined that enjoying good book would bring a color to your life.
Pairing -> non idol!Han Jisung x gn!reader( I think it's gn. If there's something implying any gender, I missed it srry)
Warnings -> Studio Ghibli; kinda weird writing (pls don't hate, I write like that when it's for myself only but I wanted to be different); Han w painted nails; a very disgusting amount of fluff cause that's all i know to do! I don't think there's any more? If there's something, please tell me.
A/n -> Firstly, I like to apologize because i did NOT intended to take this long to write something lol but it happened. Also, this is sickening, awfully amount of fluff and delusional content but if the author's delusional what can I do, right? I wrote this while listening to Spinning globe and Let the light in, so I HAD TO put it in the drabble. Btw, I did not watched the new Studio Ghibli movie, I don't even know if it's out yet but my studio Ghibli playlist added this Kenshi song and I just felt the need to write something. Anyways, I'm not gonna hold you back anymore, enjoy bbs and thanks for reading. Btw, this is all your fault @dreamescapeswriting cause I've spended a eternity reading your reactions and i don't feel a bit of regret but now I'm impossibly delusional :/ I'm going fr now. Bye.
Tell me if there's any writing mistakes ;)
------
You wish your feelings and actions were like the movies. Not usual and simple movies but Studio Ghibli movies.
Where life is green and full of passion, where even the most silent moments are filled with beautiful melodies and heartwarming lights and sounds.
Your life is grey.
It always has been, sometimes a hint of yellow or red appeared but eventually it retorned to the old and boring grey. That one where even the parts where light hits, it's still dark.
Even the prettiest pieces of art, the colorful Van Gogh ones were out of life and the Monet ones, were out of love.
Maybe you've been to drowned on the dark shade of grey, to see that hint of white in the corner. The one where sits in the hidden place inside that sweet corner of room called library. One that stays inside pretty eyes, one that follows a unknown sweet melody.
That one where stays and belongs in the prettiest eyes and the kindest heart.
One which steps are light and laughs are loud, which holds gorgeous warmth and shyly says
"Hi, are you going to pick this book?" Shiny brown iris gaze at your direction and suddenly, there's color in your world. A different tone of blue lives in the corner of the highlights in his eyes. He stares for some seconds before repeating himself.
It could be your extreme heartbeat or your delusional mind but it feels real. You feel the melody, you even hear the faint voice of Kenshi Yonezu in Spinning globe, just that Studio Ghibli spark that was missing in your life.
Studio Ghibli, it's Studio Ghibli, it echoes in your head.
"What?" With confused expression, you realize you spoke out loud, and too into your dreamland, you say it again.
"Hm.. it's Studio Ghibli" his eyes move between you and the book where your fingertips meet.
His chuckle is low but it makes you high
"I know"
"Hm?"
"I mean, i- It's written Hayao Miyazaki... And it's my-" he's blushing and embarrassed when you mumble a "ah, I know it too"
It feels so awkward, it feels so real and dreamy at the same time. You're so into it that Lana del Rey is long forgotten in your ear buds.
You've never believed in love at sight but now you understand, you just didn't had the right sight.
"Yea, it's my favorite" he cuts the silence with a shy smile, which you return gladly. He has a beautiful smile.
"Mine too." His eyes go big and his grin turns more impossibly perfect. His hands trace the book as he word that same sentence once again "Are you going to pick it?" You take the last ear bud left and Let the light in fades in the air, but you don't care, you need to hear him better.
"It's just cause, i've been looking for it for a while cause apparently Howl's moving castle only sells at specific places and I had to basically cross entire Seoul to find a place to buy this book and I just desperately need it. I really do but I understand if you wanna buy it cause you've touched before and I have a rule, so i would understand if you wante-"
"You can keep it." You cut his rumbling with a kind smile. His eyes went bigger than before and he's obviously trying to hold his excitement, which you find it adorable.
"Are you sure?" There's concern in his voice and you brush it off shaking your hands in his direction
"yea." He nods as he takes the book in his hand and there's a sudden warm in your fingertips, making you realize you were still holding it.
His nails are painted, some designed with tiny hearts, adorable just like his heart shaped smile, growing bigger by the second as he thinks about reading the book back in home.
"Thank you, really"
"It's okay" he taps the cover drumming some unknown rhythm for you right now. "I'm Jisung by the way" you divert your eyes from his hands to meet his piercing gaze and galaxy eyes "Han Jisung"
Your hands sweating when you offer it to him, you really hope he doesn't notice it. "I'm ______"
Gosh.
The gaze he has on you, like he's drinking you in, feeling your presence and marking your name in his head.
You feel really delusional, everything's very delusional now.
Except, you don't notice his shy smile when you bid goodbye and turn around, returning your ear buds to where they belong and leave, without knowing that he heard it too.
Cause his world could never be more blue, however, the moment the saw you, a different color came in his life. A unique shade of grey, a precious one, for him.
And you didn't noticed, how when he touched your hand and heard your voice, Lana's melodies echoed in his mind, and suddenly, his navy and dark blue world had a different light. When you smiled to him and said your name, you might've noticed how he stared at you, letting your light in, letting your watercolor drop sting in his canvas, marking you in his soul.
You noticed some things.
But you didn't noticed how he drummed the song you were hearing, or how he was longing to touch your hand and how your warmth affected him.
You both used to say you didn't believe in love at first sight, until you saw it.
He was glad to open the first page and find your number on it. He doesn't know when you put it there and neither does you however, the hopeful feeling that fills his heart is more than enough to make him go home with the book in his hands and a grin in his face.
And when reality was hitting you again, your phone vibrates in your hand.
You open it and see
"Hi"
"It's Jisung, from the library"
You see just what you needed to see.
Your very own Studio Ghibli moment.
Your movie.
#skz x you#stray kids#stray kids han#han jisung#han x you#han jisung x you#han jisung x reader#han jisung x y/n#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#stray kids x you#studio ghibli#howls moving castle#howlscastle#5star skz#stray kids han jisung#yea ig thats enough#love yall#xoxo#soo soo#soephiphany#lana del rey#let the light in#lana del ray aesthetic#alright#now its really enough#bye
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
2023: week 47 (it's not christmas yet, fuckos)
big watch: saltburn (dir. emerald fennell, 2023). i saved my particularly nasty review for letterboxd, but jfc. like it wasn't even a terrible viewing experience, but my god is pointlessness irritating.
other big watch (but on a tv): quiz lady (dir. jessica yu, 2023. disney+/hulu). adorable. made me cry. the closing credits 'where are they now' made me laugh a ridiculous amount, we should bring that movie ending format back in a big way.
little watch: taskmaster (series 16). don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
listen: so, i'm a radio in the car person and i will not apologize for that in 2023. i have about 20 stations on my favourites rotation, and i think 16 are oldies stations of various time periods. but something weird happened this week. this week i spent a bit more time than usual in the car, and i repeatedly found myself stopping on triple j because they were playing music i actually liked. this happened multiple times! i think i shazamed like 24 new songs! can you believe that if you live long enough the shit you liked as a youth will once again become cool again or whatever the hell is going on here?
other shit: is it cool to write up how this week's pre-protest rally brunch sucked? probably not. in any event, there was a hair in my eggs benny.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Company Property
I've bee listening to this again thinking how perfectly it describes RDA and how it most likely works. And how it treats the people who we saw dying en masse working for it. Even of they only hire the worst I doubt they signed up to be slaughtered to finance RDA expansion.
The song is about a different hypercapitalist entiry abusing people but I suppose one evil space conglomerate is just like another. After all they are all in the race to the bottom line with the likes of the East India Company.
youtube
This is exactly how the RDA is getting people to come to Pandora and die defending corporate assets and revenue streams
Welcome to space.
What were you expecting?
It’s a dangerous place.
Thank you for investing.
Monsters that can eat you in one bite and locals with arrows as long as you. I hope you enjoy being cannon fodder.
Just ten short years to a new frontier
Snooze as you cruise and you’ll wake up here!
You’ve been trapped in that ship for an awful long time
So perhaps you have simply forgot what you signed
Wake up from cryo to be reminded that this isn't a job you can quit. Just think of the numbers of RDA soldier we saw dying in the A2 movie. Wonder if they knew what was waiting for them when they sign up.
Honestly? Did you not read the colony policy?
That defines you as company property?
That waivers your say in autonomy?
The conglomerate’s got you in lock and key
You belong to the company now. I suppose this is especially true for Recoms. They never owned themselves. They wouldn't be able to afford to.
We put the dollar back into idolatry
If you’re upset you can rent an apology
We are a family forged in bureaucracy
No I in ‘team’ but there’s con in ‘economy’
Con in economy. Dollar in idolatry.
Were you expecting adventure?
Were you hoping for fun?
My friend you’re indentured
And pleasure’s exempt from your tenure
...
If you’d rather drop dead that’s fine
But you know that dropping down dead bears a fine
So you do your job, I’ll do mine
I gotta meet a six foot deep bottom line
And not even death frees you from your debt. RDA even offers you the opportunity to work for it after death. If you're useful.
...
The secrets of the universe and all the worlds to be explored
But our dreams are back on earth and now the work is our reward
Maybe you bought into the ideals of exploring other words and saving Earth?
And you’ll be grateful for seats at the table
Though it dips at one end and the bench is unstable
You may waste your days but at least you were able
To pay off your grave since we leased you your cradle
But the company will never play fair. Please die at the end of your depreciation period. Thank you.
Be faithful and pray we’ll repay what you invest
Behave as you slave for humanity’s interest
On account that you’re all on account
and we’re quickly amounting humanity’s interest
So they can get fair return on their investment. It's for humanity's interest (paid out to shareholders only)
#avatar the way of water#rda#resources development administration#recoms#avatar recoms#the outer worlds#you've seen one space conglomerate you've seen all#the lyrics are genious#avatar cameron#avatar movie#james cameron avatar#avatar twow#avatar 2#Youtube
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
https://twitter.com/calicooosn/status/1646832917589401604?s=20
This is just my rant. Idk why people ignore Hindu culture (and Buddhist too ig) also being offended there. Wearing a t-shirt with one of our gods, Lord Ganesha and drinking right in front of it. We never even get acknowledgement, much less an apology (with the existence of Curry song right there!). The closest ever was the scene changed in BP's How You Like That without an apology, when Blinks made it hell for Hindu fans pointing it out by saying shit like "Lisa can outsold your god ant day", "your god can suck Jennie's d**k" and what not. I left twitter and listening to kpop as it got so ugly. I started listening kpop again last year but it's like why do I continue to do this? It's a constant struggle to listen to the music/performances I genuinely enjoy without looking at the idols behind them taking every opportunity to mock my culture. I get that everyone may not be aware of intricacies of every culture. But with the country having fastest internet out there and the amount of times idols have been called out to never acknowledge, apologize or improve just makes me disappointed. One of mistake is a different thing. But regular stereotypes and mocking like mudras, curry song, aladdin, snake charmers, slumdog (which is a BRITISH movie btw) or straight up offense like using or Gods as aesthetic just leaves me in shambles. IM FRUSTRATED AND DISAPPOINTED.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Thank you for sharing this. it's so important to make your voice heard, and honestly disrespecting Gods should be a no. Especially when you are a public figure and you do it in public.
Although there's variety, many people have different religions, have different beliefs, even if you don't believe it, the least you can do is give some respect to those energies.
Your comment is extremely important, so thank you
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
Help I want to write a fanfic so badly but I don’t know where to start
well you’ve come to the right place because neither do i lmao
no okay so,
i would say first things first, figure out who you want to write for and what inspires you to want to write. then you can worry about things like tropes and setting and all that fun stuff. find your inspo and your motivation and (hopefully) the rest will follow!! sometimes listening to songs, or seeing a movie or a tv show makes me go ooooh i wanna write x y z, so that might be a good starting point for things like plot lines and character traits etc.
i think it’s super important to remember that it doesn’t always come super easily and in a clear, linear way. sometimes it’s messy and confusing and you feel like it’s going to shit but it’s not!! that’s just the vibe sometimes!! i cannot count the amount of times i’ve uploaded something and hated it at first but i often find i grow to like those works the most!
can also be very very very beneficial to have someone proofing or beta reading for you, or even just having someone to bounce ideas off of (shoutout to the besties ily) - my inbox is always open and you can always message me!! happy to help if i can!!
when i started writing i literally just threw myself into it and bam, i haven’t been able to stop since. go with whatever idea you’re feeling and i’m sure it will work out as it should - trust the process!
i hope this helps anon (my sincerest apologies if it doesn’t, hit me up for anything else)!! happy writing 🫶🫶
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tagged by the ever-lovely @actual-sleeping-beauty 💜
Currently Reading: Too many things, because I don’t know how to focus on just one thing. Neverseen (Keeper of the Lost Cities #4, in my grand attempt to reread all 9 books before the next one comes out in two weeks) by Shannon Messenger. The Sandman: The Deluxe Edition Book 2 (and listening along with the Audible full cast production) by Neil Gaiman. Blood of Elves by Andrzej Sapkowski. Extasia by Claire Legrand.
Last Song: Jump in the Line from the Beetlejuice OBCR.
Last Movie: Uhhh. I don’t watch many movies, honestly. I think it was the 2014 Into the Woods after the new Broadway cast recording came out, because I was missing the show?
Last Series: I, uhh... recently finished going through and rewatching all 52 seasons of Chopped with my grandmother (over like, a year). Does that count? Look, I’m a youtube watcher, not so much a tv and movie watcher anymore.
Currently Working On: Dragging myself out of the annoyingly dark depths of my own brain? No, anyway, realistically: too many things here as well. We’re in our insanely busy season at work, and I’m juggling two fairly new parts to my job there and probably getting a third soon (this is fine, everything is fine, it’ll be fine). Working on a fairly big diamond painting that my mom asked me to do for a coworker of hers that’s about to have a baby, so feeling a lot of time crunch pressure there. Trying to remind myself how to write and feeling insanely guilty about the length of time it’s been since I updated my silly soulmate AU. Y’know, a casual amount of things to be juggling.
Tagging: @adinarj, @fuckingyrs, @go-catch-a-chickn. Standard apologies apply if you’ve already been tagged or done this - I genuinely have not kept up with my dash at all lately, sorry!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
DREAM A LITTLE OF ME
Friends x Fem! reader
Genre: Fantasy
Pronouns for reader: She/her
Status: Special oneshot
Author's note: You can decide if the relationship is platonic or romantic. @iconicfonutd. Also this is for the 200 followers special, thank you so much everyone.
Jeal:
Akisha:
You are Y/N Laws, You were the most known person in the world. In every place on earth, there's at least 1 person who knows you. The problem was that you didn't want to be a celebrity, you didn't want fame. You just want a normal life with at least 2 friends, who'll always be there for you.
The reason you became a celebrity is because of your family, they wanted a lot of money since the salary of their jobs were low. You never wanted to act or sing, But they paid for your acting and singing lessons. It would’ve been rude to not do what they wanted since they worked hard enough for you.
The good thing about your job is the fans, their love for you so a lot you sometimes blush. They were so nice and understanding. Sure, they shipped you a lot with some actors/actresses a lot of times but it was fine. Shipping isn’t bad but forcing you to be with them is different.
And you can’t believe the amount of money they would pay for you to take a picture with them. Did I also mention that you stream? I may have forgotten but whenever you’re playing a gacha game and you want a certain character they would donate a lot of money just for you to get what you want.
Oh, and you also like that you can provide enough for you and your family. You also spoil them a lot. They like something at the mall? It’s already in their room. What everyone they want, they’ll get in a minute. You always adore the joy on their faces when you get them what they want.
But the bad thing is the fans and maybe your family. The other half of your fans are nice and understanding, the other ones are impatient and rude. They always beg and cry for more songs and content. For example, After you release a song they immediately tell you to make more. Writing a song is time-consuming especially if your goal is to make the listeners like it.
Sometimes they’ll even send you death threats if you don’t make new content after a month. They always pressure you and make you over-work yourself. Sometimes you even forget to take a break since you need new content for them to be satisfied. They are the reason you are popular and rich right now.
Well for your family, they ask too much. They always beg you to buy them stuff even though they have enough money to buy it. You remembered a time where you told them that you wouldn’t buy them a particular item since you were on a budget, They started judging you and insulting you. It seems like they only see you as their wallet.
Anyways enough about you. Let’s go on to the story. You finally went home after working on the movie ‘Illusion’. It took so long, especially the travel scene since you guys had to actually hike but hey the rides were worth it. You were so tired. You changed your clothes and went to bed.
Today was wild, I guess. Then you dozed off.
😴
You are Y/N Armani, You are the daughter of the famous baker in your country. Sure you're a bit clichè but who cares? And you also liked sweets so being the daughter of the baker has its perks.
Anyways, your father needed some ingredients so he ordered you to buy some at the grocery store. So you did. After you bought some you were in a rush since you heard that your favorite author updated her story.
You were checking your watch to look at the time you suddenly bumped into someone and felt some hot liquid on your shirt. You looked up to see a girl with short hair, she looked annoyed and a ginger girl? Boy? You don't know to be honest.
You also noticed that ginger's coffee was spilled all over their shirt. "Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry!" You apologized to them. "You better be." the annoyed girl said and glared at you. "Um, I'll get you guys some new clothes and probably coffee." You told them.
"There's no need." The ginger assured you. "I'm really sorry. Just let me take care of you for a second to show how sorry I am." You begged them. They sighed and looked at the annoyed girl, as if they were asking her permission. The annoyed girl nodded. "Sure. Where are we going?" They asked.
You took the bags and told them to follow you and they did. You opened the door and walked up stairs since your bakery had multiple floors. You finally reached your room and put the bags down on the table. Oh and they sat on the couch since you had a couch in your room.
(Your house is like marinette from miraculous ladybug)
You opened your closet and gave ginger some large clothes since you didn't know their size. You walked to them and handed it. "The bathroom is downstairs." You told them and they nodded. After they left you faced the annoyed girl.
"Would you like some foods or any drinks? I do have a bakery so I have many snacks for you to eat." You told her. "Can I have some donuts and coffee?" She asked and you nodded. You took some and gave it to her. "I haven't asked your name yet, so what's your name?" You asked her and sat beside her.
"Jeal." She said and ate a donut. "I'm Y/N Armani. Nice to meet you." You took out your right hand. She licked something on her hand and shook your hand.
Ginger was finally done changing their clothes. They smiled at you. "Thanks for the new clothes. Hope I didn't disturb you." They said. "No, it's okay. I should be the one apologizing." You told them. You checked them out. "You look nice, by the way." You complimented them.
They blushed. "Thanks." They thanked you. "Oh, and I'm Akisha. I'm non-binary if you're wondering." They took out their left hand. "Y/N Armani, Female." You shook their hand. They sat down on the couch and drank the coffee you gave them.
Aftet that you guys talked for hours you guys didn't even notice it was already midnight. Before they came home you guys exchanged numbers. Jeal even made a groupchat with you three. Turns out they weren't so cold after all. They were really funny and likes to talk a lot.
You were so glad to be friends with them. It was so fun being with them. Even though your first meeting with them was embarrassing it was fine, you guys immediately shrugged it off even though it was just a few hours ago.
💸
You three were in your room. You were searching on the internet for jobs. You might be asking, couldn't you just work at the bakery? Your parents didn't want to. They wanted you to find your own job to make you independent.
"Guys, what kind of job do you want anyway?" You asked them. "What about we work at starbucks or a job similar to starbucks?" Jeal answered. "No. Those types of jobs give us a little money. If we want to work there we can just work at Y/N's bakery." Akisha opposed Jeal's idea.
"Photographer?"
"We don't even like pictures, and we take crap pictures."
"Waiters? But at a rich restaurant."
"We'll meet more karens and Jeal. We know your anger issues can't handle that type of people."
"What about work at home?"
"I heard we had to work 60 hours in a week."
You then joined the conversation. "You know I heard that we can work at this place and we can do some random jobs everyday and we can see which one we'll like." You informed them.
Akisha thought about it. "Sure." They said, "Okay so let's get prepared for the interview so we won't look like idiots." They laughed.
After 2 weeks, you guys were finally done getting ready. You three were now walking towards that place. Jeal was sweating because they were nervous. You were panicking inside. Akisha was looking at you two to relieve their anxiety.
You guys finally went inside. You three saw three guys walking towards your way. "Okay, people, We need to interview you three in separate rooms. Will that be fine?" The middle one said. "Yeah." You three agreed. The middle one took you to a room. The left one took Jeal to a room. The right one took Akisha to a room.
You three sat down and faced the interviewer. "Let's get started." They said,
(Bold for Jeal. Italic for you. Normal text for Akisha and the interviewer.)
"Tell me more about you."
"I can't stand annoying people. I'll always stand for what is right. My hobbies are listening to music and hanging out with my friends. ."
"I'm good with kids.. I'm nice and friendly. My hobbies are baking and observing people."
"I'm good with people, I don't really lose my temper. I'm artistic and I like pets. My hobbies are reading and drawing."
"Why do you want to work here?"
"I need money so I can start an independent life instead of always relying on my parents."
"I don't know what I want to do yet, so I want to work here to know what I want."
"My friends wanted to work and I just followed them since I needed a job too."
"How did you hear about this place?"
"I was thinking about what kind of jobs that me and my friends want and I saw this on the internet while searching for jobs."
"My friend recommended this job for me."
"What are your weaknesses?"
"People who like to complain a lot."
"Kids."
"I don't think I have any weaknesses. I'm a pretty patient person."
After a few questions they finally let you three go. Jeal was the first person to get out, she didn't know where to go but she did see a table nearby. Thankfully it has 3 chairs for you guys. She sat down and opened her bag then played some offline games.
The second person to get out was Akisha. They were looking around to see if Jeal or you were done. Then they saw Jeal on their phone, probably playing some games. They walked towards her and ruffled her hair. Jeal turned to see Akisha.
"What took you so long?" She asked. "I'm sure it didn't take me that long to finish the interview." They said and sat down. "Where's Y/N?" Jeal asked them. "I don't know, I didn't see them walk out of the room yet." They answered. "That's weird.
The last person to get out was you. You didn't know why it took so long to make you finish the interview. You knew that Jeal and Akisha were already done, since it's so obvious that you took a long time to finish the interview.
You then noticed them chatting. You walked towards them and hugged Jeal since she was closer. "Oh, Y/N, you're finally done." Akisha said. "Well, since we're done let's go back home." They stood up and you guys went home.
"Hey, Y/N, can I have some snacks?"
Timeskip
Akisha and Jeal were eating breakfast while you were scrolling on social media, you never eat breakfast. You then heard your parents call you. You excused yourself and went downstairs.
A minute later you came back with 3 letters on your hand. You sat down and gave the two letters to them. "Okay on the count of three, we open it alright?" They nodded.
"1."
"2."
"3!"
You three opened the letter and read it. "I got accepted!" You exclaimed. "Me too!" Jeal yelled. "Me three!" Akisha squealed. "YAY!!" You three yelled.
🏢
After 6 months, you guys decided to move to an apartment. Well, you decided to move but Akisha and Jeal just wanted to be with you 24/7.
"Goodbye, Y/N." Your mother hugged you. Your father ruffled your hair. "Stay safe, kiddo." He told you. "Of course, dad." You smiled at him.
After some kisses and hugs from your parents the uber finally came. You waved them goodbye and went inside the car. You sat in the middle of Akisha and Jeal.
"Hey, Y/N, you got some chocolate?" Jeal showed their hand while waiting for you to give them some. "Here." You opened your bag and gave her kisses. "Thanks." They took out the wrapper and ate it.
After a few minutes, you finally reached your destination. Also it has a rooftop! You wanted to go there so you immediately started unpacking to go there.
You also wanted to surprise Jeal with the beautiful view. You two sat on the side of the roof, Jeal however didn't know since she was blindfolded. You then took off the blindfold. When Jeal realised how high she was she immediately hugged you.
"Y/N, protect me!!" She whined. Akisha then started to laugh. "Gosh, Jeal, can't believe you're actually begging Y/N to protect you." They teased Jeal. "Shut up!" Jeal yelled out of fear.
"Haha, don't worry Jeal. You'll always be safe with me."
🎬
After 6 months, you three moved to an apartment because you all wanted to live together.
You guys then received a message from your boss. They told you to make a movie since they wanted to try your skills on filming. They said it had to be sci-fi.
But you guys decided to do it in your parents' house because you promised to visit them once a month.
(This scene will be an episode from asobi asobase, sorry that this isn't an original idea. But while re-watching asobi asobase it made me think that it fit's the story.)
"We're in space." Jeal smiled and looked at the earth photo. "Finally, we are here." She said, like was relieved.
"Cut! That's good." You exclaimed and offed the camera while Akisha moved the board. "Y/N, is this really safe?" Jeal shivered. "What do you mean?" You asked. "We won't have technical difficulties airing this at the place, right?" Jeal asked.
"Of course not." You assured her. "Why are we doing a movie for our boss anyways? And why did it have to be sci-fi?" They asked while putting on their elf ears.
"We could've done romance, mystery or anything else." They listed some genres. "It's because the boss saw star trek and made me watch it. " You explained. "That's the only reason we're doing sci-fi?! Are you sure you know much about sci-fi?!" Jeal exclaimed.
"It's fine. All you need to do to look like an alien is to stand expressionless with a bowl cut." You shrugged it off. "That's what you got out of Star Trek?!" Jeal yelled. "And, Akisha is a sexy alien spy." You said and Akisha wore a turtleneck with elf ears.
"O-Okay." Akisha stuttered. "Akisha, hang on. Are you wearing pads?" Jeal exclaimed. "They aren't big ones." They teased her and placed their arms under the pads. "That's unfair!"
"By the way, I'd like the spy actor to decide their fate." You blanky told them. "How would you like to perish?" You asked them with a blank stare. 'She says it like I have an option, but I'm going to die regardless, aren't I?' Akisha thought.
You moved the board that had some random drawing of aliens behind them. You turned on the cam, "Okay, here we go!" You said and faced the camera to Akisha.
"I am a sexy spy." Then they blew a kiss to the camera while you zoomed in on their face. "Okay, that was excellent!" You complimented them. 'The spy just introduced their self as a spy.' Jeal thought.
"Okay, next, a serious stare-down scene. Start." You ordered. "What? Did you say 'Sexy spy'?" Jeal said and tried to not blink. 'Just once.' She thought and blinked. "Jeal! No blinking!" You yelled at her.
"Y/N! I can't! I can't stare for a whole minute!" She cried. "This scene is a whole minute of staring. I'm counting on you. Start!" You said.
"Did you say 'sexy spy'?" Jeal repeated her lines. After she said that Akisha was a bit of shocked of Jeal's face, she looked like a scary doll and a demon at the same time. 'It's scary!' They repeated in their head.
"All right, cut!" You exclaimed, then Jeal started blinking a lot. "Okay. Don't you think it's kind of boring not having a spaceship in a sci-fi movie?" Jeal informed you. "That's true." You agreed with her.
"How about a cardboard box that says 'spaceship' on it?" You suggested. 'Hey, that's just a cardboard box that says 'spaceship' on it!' Jeal thought.
"It will look convincing if you hold a lever thing and shout 'skadoosh!'" You basically mocked sci-fi. 'You're making a complete mockery of sci-fi with these remarks!' Jeal thought.
Your mother opened the door. "Hey guys, how's the movie coming?" Your mom asked. "Sci-fi is harder than we thought, Mrs. Armani." Akisha answered your mom. "Sci-fi?" She repeated. "Your boss gave Y/N some pastime props, so why don't you have some pastime props?" Your mom asked.
"Mom. Are you mocking sci-fi?" You glared at her. "I'm sorry!" Your mom muttered. "Mrs. Armani, you're standing in front of the biggest mocker. It's fine." Akisha whispered to your mom. "But, your mom's right. We should use the props." Akisha said.
"Help me!" Akisha yelled with some rope tied to them. "Hehe. You have no escape from the high-tech restraint of the Skippy-Ropey. And with this enhanced interrogation tool, I shall make you confess all of your spy activities." Then Jeal pulled out a baby toy. "That's.. The most advanced interrogation tool in the universe, the Kewpie!" Akisha exaggerated the introduction of the toy.
Akisha whined. "No! If I use that tool, my mind will be blown away." They said, Jeal chuckled. "It is truly mind-blowing. I tried it on myself and it wasn't long before my brain went whack." Jeal said and licked the toy. 'Ms. Jeal! I'm pretty sure your brain is already whacked if you're using interrogation tools on yourself!' Your mom thought.
You stopped filming, "How's that?" You asked your mom. "I think it will be good." She lied. "Yes." You smiled. 'You got such a good smile.' She thought.
"Hey, what do you think of this poster I made?" Jeal held up a poster with a red moon on the kewpie's head. While Jeal had some beam on her hand and Akisha was sitting beside Jeal. "It's perfect!" You said. "Could you write 'Announcing season 2 anime!' at the top?" You suggested.
"But there's no plans for the second season."
"I want it to look like a huge project."
'I never knew Y/N was such a dreamer.'
🍻
You three bought 3 bottles of beer. You guys got a huge paycheck today and you wanted to celebrate it. Oh, and you guys also bought some stuff you wanted.
"Cheers!" You guys said and drank the drink together. You guys hated the taste of beer but whatever. Akisha and Jeal quickly drank the beer while you tried to finish your cup of beer. "Hey, Y/N!" Akisha jokingly slapped your shoulder since you didn't stop.
(The cups weren't small at least a size of an Irish coffee cup)
You finally stopped drinking after you finished a whole cup. "Y/N, I dare you to at least half a bottle of beer." Jeal dared you. "You sure?" You asked them. "How about this, if I do it you guys have to do it too!." You said. "Deal!" Akisha exclaimed. "Heh, Deal!" Jeal said. "Fine." You smirked.
"Drink!"
"Drink!" they chanted.
You poured some beer on your cup and drank quickly till you reached the middle of the bottle.
And you finally did it. "Ha! I did it!" You stuck your tongue to Jeal. "Drink!" You chanted and they did. They tried to finish it quickly but they got drunk after a few drinks. But hey, they're halfway there!
"Y/N, help me drink, please." Akisha begged you. You smirked. "Open wide." You ordered them. You took their cup and made them drink the beer, you also spilled a lot. Jeal was laughing a lot since Akisha's face was hilarious. They stood up and changed shirts.
You faced Jeal and took her cup. "Open wide." And she did open her mouth then you did the same thing you did to Akisha except you spilled a lot, there was even some on the floor. After Akisha came back, they filmed and took pictures of you guys.
Some videos of you three dancing horribly. Some pictures of you guys looking stupid. Sure it was cringe but it didn't matter right now. You just wanted to have a fun time with them.
After a few minutes, you guys got tired and laid on your bed. You were in the right, Akisha was in the middle, Jeal was in the left. "I love you guys." Akisha said, out of nowhere. "Aww, I love you too!" You then hugged them. "If you love someone else you're dead to us." Then Jeal hugged Akisha too.
💖
You guys were at a party, it was because your boss was celebrating something. You three were wearing suits because you think dresses don't fit you, Jeal didn't wear a dress because dresses were too expensive and fun fact Jeal looks amazing in a dress, Akisha didn't wear one because every dress they tried was itchy.
While you guys were drinking punch and eating snacks from there, Akisha was looking at the people at the party. Then they saw a certain person they didn't expect. "I have to go." They said and immediately ran to the room.
You and Jeal looked at each other and decided to follow them. You opened the door and saw an open stall. You also heard puking. You felt sad for Akisha, what happened to them? You also saw Akisha kneel down and vomit. You walked to them and kneeled down. Jeal also kneeled down.
"Akisha? Are you alright?" You asked them. "I saw him." Akisha teared up. "Diego?" Jeal asked them and Akisha nodded. "Wait- Who's Diego?" You ask Jeal. "Akisha's ex." While you guys were talking you were patting Akisha's back.
"Akisha has an ex?" You lowered your voice and Jeal nodded in response. "Why did you guys break up?" You faced Akisha.
Akisha sighed and started to tell you about him.
"Well, Diego was such a nice guy. He was also poor so I had to always pay for him. It was tiring to always pay for him but I was 'in love' so I didn't notice that he was using me. Whenever I want to do something with him, he never wants to do it.
But when it comes to him I always agree. He's manipulative. He's aggressive. He lowered my self-esteem, while I boosted his. Am I not enough? Did I do something wrong? Am I useless? Am I pathetic?"
You caressed their cheek. "Akisha, you aren't pathetic or useless. You are the most amazing person in the world. You are more than enough. You know, with you he's nothing. He would've been a guy in the streets.
How dare he not love you and cherish you. He's lucky enough to have a significant other like you. If I was him, I would've done everything to make you happy. He's pathetic, he's useless. He's stupid. I bet when he realised that he was nothing with you after the break up, he was definitely begging for you to come back to him." You comforted them.
"Yeah, Y/N's right, you know I'm glad that he broke up with you. 'Cuz if he didn't, you wouldn't be the person you are right now. After you guys broke up, you were so cool and free. You even have opinions and hobbies! When you guys were dating, it wasn't like you were a person." Jeal tried to copy you.
"But now you are artistic, an animal lover, a caring and loving friend. You are beyond amazing. You're the number 1 best person in the entire world!" Jeal said.
"Yeah!" You agreed with him. Akisha smiled. "You guys really think that?" They said, "Duh, it's common knowledge that you're the best." Jeal said. Akisha stopped their crying. "Screw Diego! Screw Diego! Screw Diego!" You and Jeal chanted. Akisha smiled and started the chanting.
"Screw Diego! Screw Diego! Screw Diego!"
After that day, Akisha started being more confident. Seeing them more happy and confident was an amazing sight.
⏰
You bought some food for you and your friends. The food you bought was their favourite with some fries. You climbed up to your room or apartment, you took out your keys and opened the door.
"Hey guys! I bought food!" You exclaimed and took off your shoes. You looked up to see blood? They were there with knives on their back and blood surrounding them.
"Guys..?" You were speechless, What happened? You then feel someone tap your shoulder, you turn to see Akisha on your left and Jeal on your right. It was similar to when you three first met.
You gasped and covered your mouth. Their dead bodies were moving and talking. "Akisha, Jeal, What happened?" You then felt helpless. Was it your fault they died? “You’re so naive, Y/N. You really think you can escape this hell hole?” Akisha said. Tears were coming down your cheek. You breathed for a bit and hit them then ran away. Suddenly the apartment changed.
There weren't any elevators, or any stairs. Just endless halls. Even though you weren’t athletic and didn’t have a lot of endurance you had to run away from them. You love them, you really do. But were they really your friends? They weren’t dead. They were alive, they liked you, they had fun with you, they didn’t insult or judge you, they wouldn’t kill you.
You weren’t exactly sure if they were gonna kill you, but you aren’t gonna take that risk. You didn’t want to die just yet. Then again, what’s the point of living just to know your whole friendship with them was a lie and you’ll probably have trauma because of them.
Should you let them kill you, or will you run away from them to live and restart your life with new friends? Who are you kidding? Sure it seems like only a day passed by but you’ve been with them for 5 years. You guys cried together, smiled together, laughed together and so many more.
Your friendship with them was unique, amazing, and wholesome. You remembered when you comforted Akisha and boosted their self-esteem.
You also remembered the time you made Jeal climb up the roof of the apartment, she wasn’t aware but when she realised how high up it was she hugged you. Akisha was laughing at her, normally she would’ve jokingly yelled at them but she was too focused on your warmth. You never liked hugs, but if it was from them you hug them forever.
Or that time where you guys had your first fight but made up easily since you guys couldn’t bear being mad at each other. You love them a lot, even until now. You just wanted to hug them one last time. You cried, why is the world so unfair?
After a few minutes you finally found a dead end. You couldn’t turn back since they were behind you. You faced them and sat on the floor. Akisha and Jeal kneeled for you guys to be on the same level.
“We were never meant to be.” They both told you. “I know, but at least I know there’s a world that we were meant to be. I’m glad that I could experience that.” You smiled at them. “I love you guys.”
They seemed shocked, then for a second they went back to their original state. " don't wake up, Y/N!"
🌤
Your alarm then rang and you immediately sat up. It was a dream? No, no, no, no. Was it fake? It felt so long yet so short. Is this what they meant by 'You'll never escape this hell hole'? You'll never be free.
You teared up. You love them so much just for them to be dead so long ago? This is too painful to handle. You wanted to be with them forever, you wanted to be naive and have fun with them. Was it too much to ask?
It hurts to think that they weren't your friends in the real world. This is why you never liked dreams, they always scare you or hurt you. You should've never slept so you wouldn't have to feel this pain.
You then heard a knock. "Y/N, it's time to get ready. The fans are waiting." Your manager said. "I'm almost done." You lied and started to get prepared.
After 2 minutes you opened the door and started to act. "Hello, guys! I miss you so much!" You waved at them with a fake smile. A lot of fans and paparazzi tried to get a hold of you but your bodyguards protected you from them.
You climbed up the stage and waved at them. "Let's get this party started!" You yelled and they cheered.
The less you know, the better. That sentence confused you before but now you understand it now, you understand it so much it pains you.
THE END
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
guardiancreditservices
Untitled
carolpsiquiatra
Dra Carolina Froehner Psiquiatra Clínico/Forense
fuzzypeanutcloudghost-blog
Untitled
lamiiaa8-blog
Lamiiaa8
bibarabible
BI BARA BIBLE