Tumgik
#that's hot folks haha
personinthepalace · 2 years
Text
Eliza/Henry & Lacey/Gold parallels
Tumblr media Tumblr media
17 notes · View notes
starlooove · 3 months
Text
Never getting over toh treating Gus well and the FANDOM being worse about the racism than the show like. Hello?
3 notes · View notes
vaguely-concerned · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
I’ve been thinking about this nonstop for days. ‘shirtless wonder’. he really brought that up right out of the blue huh. ‘apropos of nothing, remember how you were hanging around with the hot man who doesn’t wear a shirt for months?’ does tf feel like he and akshan are too much in the same hot guy weight class, as it were? battle of the twunks (entirely one-sided, akshan totally only knows about tf from graves never shutting the fuck up about him and barely paid attention to even a third of it)? is that why he’s feeling so threatened? many thoughts.
Tumblr media
throwback to the one enjoyable line in all of the SoL event, btw, which has aged like fine wine to try to make up for it all. that “don’t no one ‘round here own a shirt” has only gained power and nuance with time and knowledge. graves you gay disaster <3
graves seeing all these shirtless dudes running around and, for reasons he cannot possibly explain, finding himself thinking wistfully about tf’s cleavage while he plays around with the blue card and very definitely doesn’t feel homesick lol what a silly idea
107 notes · View notes
gordonlightfooted · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Gordon Lightfoot in the 1980s Western "Harry Tracy"
2 notes · View notes
whump-it-like-its-hot · 2 months
Text
oh yes, when the fatigue hits in that specifically devious way, gotta love it 👍
0 notes
skzdarlings · 1 year
Text
the same but different | the threesome series ; skz ; han/reader/felix
masterlist.
threesome series part 3/4.
You grew up with Felix and Jisung.  Your definition of normal has always been unique, considering Felix is a faerie and magically connected to Jisung.  So even though you are dating Jisung, when Felix tells you he needs to marry to keep up appearences in the faerie court, you see no reason to say no…
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: han jisung/reader/lee felix content info: sexual content. threesome. faerie au. this is an almost 16k word read. one day i will meet my maker and have to atone for that. warning for some ambiguous motivations plus general freaky faerie and supernatural stuff. felix and jisung have a magical connection, reader does not know the details but it seems they can physically feel each other's reactions and urges and they do a lot of the same things in an uncanny way. there is a 'consummation ritual' that involves being watched but reader is clever about it.
:)
-
Autumnal flurries follow Han Jisung everywhere, little tornadoes of red-and-gold kicking up an elemental fuss wherever he steps. It might be a remnant of his time with the faerie folk, or maybe a coincidence, or maybe he is such a blustery font of chaos that he is simply kicking up wind storms on his own. 
He totters into the café with his usual trail of leaves, much to the displeasure of the bus boy who follows with a broom.  The wind gets restless at the window.  It throws itself against the pane with a heavy, reverberating thunder as if nature is knocking in pursuit of Jisung’s attention.  You watch a few pine cones hurl themselves at the glass before everything settles down on its own. 
Jisung pays it no mind.  He slides into the booth across from you, heaving a big dramatic breath. 
“Good afternoon,” you say, amused with your boyfriend’s theatrics.  They are as constant as his flurries.   
“Yo, is it, ‘cause ah, HAHA—I’ve been having a day.”  He thunks his head on the back of the booth and pretends to fall asleep.  His round glasses skew with the loll of his head.
Jisung dressed up for today’s date.  He is wearing a beige coat that flatters his warm complexion plus that cute checkered scarf you gave him last winter.   You don’t mind his usual hoodies and caps as it always puts a swagger in his step, but you appreciate his effort even if it is a little random. 
He lifts his head with another musical sigh, golden blonde hair fluttering from his breath.  His big glasses make his dark eyes even bigger and you smile again.
“Hi,” you say sweetly.
He whimpers with more theatrical misery. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he says like it is the most painful fact in the world.  “Why are you so beautiful?  And funny, and smart, and mine.  If you weren’t gonna be ugly and horrible, the least you could have done is reject me.  It wouldn’t have been so bad.  I could have been a lonely suffering artist, hidden away in a basement, composing symphonies for the beautiful woman out of my league.”
“I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera,” you say.
“Even better.”  Jisung sighs wistfully.  “He lived in an underground sex dungeon, right?  I don’t think he even paid rent.”   
You laugh into your hot chocolate. 
“What’s gotten into you?” you say.  It’s a rhetorical question.  Jisung is always a little silly. 
Your playful boyfriend thumps his hands on the table and glares past you, out the window. 
“Faeries,” he says brusquely.  “And their stupid faerie bullshit. My life is a nightmare and an arthouse horror movie and no one has ever suffered more than me—oooh, is that a chocolate croissant?”
You slap his hand when he reaches for your pastry.   He yelps like you chopped it off. 
“Jisungie,” you say, lifting an eyebrow, “what do you mean faerie bullshit?” 
He pouts spectacularly while unknotting his scarf.  He speaks in a watery, despondent voice, very contrary to his usual goofiness, “What do you think I mean?”
This, it seems, is also rhetorical as you have no opportunity to answer.  The bell jingles above the door and a little shiver moves down your spine. 
Unlike Jisung, you have never been to the faerie realm, but you have a gift for recognizing a supernatural presence.  Everything catches your eye as if they are sparkling fireflies, no matter their efforts to hide. 
The courtly fae, the ones that look human, have a tendency to cast enchantments both literal and metaphorical, their impossible beauty captivating to any human eye.  You are not immune to their gravitas, the way space seems to warp around them like earth is little more than gelatinous mire, but you can sense their other-worldliness before seeing them.   This is most likely due to exposure.  You did, after all, grow up with a faerie. 
You look to the doorway.  
Ah.  Speaking of. 
“Oh my god,” Jisung whines.  “He said he’d give me time to tell you.” He steals your hot chocolate and takes a swig like it’s hard vodka. 
“Tell me,” you repeat.  “Tell me what?” 
Though you are talking to Jisung, you cannot help but look over at his… his…
His Felix. 
Felix smiles when he sees you.  He scrunches his nose cutely and it makes his constellation of dark freckles dance on his sunny face. 
The freckles have always been an intriguing part of his glamour – for his human-like appearance is a mask shrouding his true faerie form – because faeries typically regard such things as imperfections.   Perhaps the freckles are residual from his time in the human realm, as Jisung’s flurries are the opposite. 
Felix is unbelievably beautiful.  He is wearing mortal clothes but he does not look truly human.  There’s something in his movements, fluid and dance-like, sometimes too swift to perceive.  His blonde hair catches the light with a perfect glow at every angle, his slender frame flawlessly draped in a black long-coat and a flattering black sweater.  His lovely ringed fingers part the air with his little wave and his perfectly pink mouth curls up in a sweet smile.  His dark eyes seem to sparkle.  
He crosses the restaurant in a few strides, quicker than a human would.  He smiles the whole time. 
“Hello,” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter.  Or maybe you’re the butter, his voice the knife, gliding right down the centre of you and settling low in your belly.  It has always had that effect. 
“Felix, hello,” you say in that quivery way you always greet him.   You grew up with both Jisung and Felix but Felix flits off to the faerie world when it suits him, and every time he returns you find yourself awestruck by him, as if you had never truly seen him before. 
Jisung smacks his head down on the surface of the table.  You and Felix look at him, you with considerable more concern.  Felix just draws his mouth into a flat line, neither smiling nor frowning, more like he anticipated his… his… his Jisung would behave this way. 
“Is it okay if I sit?”  Felix asks, pointing to the spot beside Jisung.  Jisung is somewhat sprawled in the booth but this doesn’t seem to concern Felix.  When you nod, he smiles, smooths out his coat, and simply bumps Jisung with his hip to squish himself into the booth. 
Jisung whimpers again, resting his head on the wall and pouting at it. 
“So,” Felix says.  He folds his hands on the table and tips his head, looking at you.  “How are you doing these days, hmm?” 
Faeries are known for their decorum.  It can turn sour very quickly, but it is imperative to adhere to rules of hospitality and general politeness.  
It is still strange and unnerving to have a faerie prince plunk himself into your booth and smile at you so politely.  Especially when you haven’t seen Felix in more than a year.   A year and fifteen days, to be specific, because Jisung has counted them all.  Jisung complains endlessly when Felix visits but he complains even more when he’s gone for too long. 
You think Felix must have returned to the human realm a while ago.  Jisung is usually friendly when he firsts sees him, but right now he is glaring. 
“What?”  Felix looks at Jisung.  They cock their heads at each other, the same angle, same time. 
It is always funny seeing them side-by-side.  Singularly, they look nothing alike, perhaps because Felix has intentionally deviated his glamour from being identical.  Jisung has a round face, cartoonishly cute at times, his build bulkier from his somewhat erratic workout schedule.   Felix is all sharp lines with a pointed elegance to his features, though his presence fills what space his slender body does not.  Their only similarity is their hair, similarly bouncy, alike in length, and identically shaded.  Right now it is a matching blonde. 
Despite their ample differences, there is an uncanny sameness to them.  They move the same way, tip their heads at the same time, roll their eyes in tandem.  They even take a breath at the same time.  You are certain if you pressed a hand to each of their chests, you would find their hearts beating to the same steady cadence.   
Felix was once a changeling.  Faeries sometimes swap their infants for human ones, occasionally for fun, oftentimes when their offspring is sickly or malformed.  Once a changeling swap has occurred, the faerie and human are inexorably linked to one another.  If the human parents try to kill the faerie or let it die, it will also kill their child, so it is in their best interest to nurse the sickly baby and hope the faeries swap them back. 
Felix was born too soon, a shrivelled little creature, third son of the autumn high prince’s third wife.  His mother swapped him for Jisung, stealing the little mortal away in his infancy.  Jisung’s mother was not a bewildered, simpering mortal, however.  Her resilience and intelligence was part of the family’s initial allure, but it was also the downfall of the changeling operation.  She ventured into the faerie realm and won back her son, plus the right to see the lonely faerie prince that had been so unceremoniously abandoned by his unloving family. 
She returned to the mortal world with Jisung and Felix.  The changeling prince spent his childhood bouncing between the human realm and the world of faerie.   You grew up next door to Jisung and the three of you have been a tight-knit trio since before you can remember. 
You love Felix just as much as you love Jisung, it’s just that… the faerie-ness complicates things.  You aren’t sure Felix really loves you or Jisung in a way you understand.  Even now, his enquiry after your well-being seems more like a necessary script than genuine question.  He will be uneasy until you complete your side of the exchange. 
“I’m good, Felix,” you say.  “How are you?”
He smiles, freckles dancing.  “Good,” he says.  “Thank you.”  
Felix cracks his neck and Jisung is compelled to do the same, though he looks irritated about it.  The depth of their connection has always been ambiguous to you, but sometimes Jisung feels phantom aches and pains, urges that come out of nowhere and pester him like an itch until he satisfies them.  
He seems impatient today, his glare not subsiding for a second.  
“You said I could have time to tell her,” Jisung says. 
“I gave you time,” Felix replies calmly. 
“You gave me like five minutes, man!”
“It doesn’t take more than five minutes,” Felix  says.  He seems genuinely perplexed that Jisung would believe otherwise.  He looks at Jisung with a head tilt that Jisung mirrors, then they both look at you.  “Hi,” Felix says.  “Will you marry me?  See.  That was less than five minutes.  It was five syllables, actually.  Well, I guess if you had asked it, you would have said, ‘Will you marry Felix,’ so it would have been six syllables, but that’s still less than five minutes, even if you streeeeetch it ouuuut—”
“I’m gonna stretch you out,” Jisung says, then plants his forehead in his palm.  “That came out wrong.” 
Felix does not plant his forehead in his palm but he does rest his chin in his hand. 
“So,” he says to you, smiling. “Will you?  Two syllables, by the way.”
“Shut up about the syllables, dude.” 
“Wait,” you say, interrupting their inane blabber.  If you leave them to it, Jisung and Felix will dance in verbal circles for hours and still not clarify anything.  “Marry you?  Why would I— Felix, you know Jisung and I— I don’t understand what’s—”
You love Jisung and Felix.  You find them equally attractive, in their own way and as a complimentary pair.  As much as you adore Jisung, you feel bereft when Felix is gone for a long time.  Your crush on Felix was as inevitable as your romance with Jisung.  Only where that relationship has long since solidified into a stable love, you and Felix have never done much more than hug. 
Jisung and Felix, on the other hand, have shared their own intimacies.  You caught them kissing back when you were teenagers.  You got pouty rather than angry, viciously jealous of both of them at once.  Jisung was too flustered to speak, mostly chirping like a frightened bird, while Felix just smiled and cheerily said, “Jisungie says we’re practicing.”
“Practicing?” you asked, hands on hips.  “Practicing for what exactly?”
Felix frowned, looking confused, like it had never occurred to him to follow that line of questioning. 
“For girls!”  Jisung exclaimed. 
Felix snapped his fingers and nodded.  “Right,” he said.  “Girls. That was it.  Wait.”  He looked confused again and pointed to you. “Isn’t she a girl?” 
“She doesn’t count,” Jisung said, getting redder by the second.  You threw a shoe at him and stormed out of the house. 
That was a long time ago.  That momentary flicker of suggestion was the only time Felix brought up potentially kissing you.  Even then, it seemed less desirous than pragmatic.  
And now, for some reason, he is asking you to marry him. 
“Oh my god, man, maybe if you used more than five syllables, she would get what’s going on,” Jisung says.  His gaze softens when he looks at you.  He reaches across the table to take your hand, though it takes you a second to respond.  Your fingers are frozen stiff around your mug.  “Baby,” he says in a soft, apologetic voice, “I know it sounds a bit strange, but I promise I can explain.” 
“I have to get married,” Felix interrupts, ignoring when Jisung scowls at him.  “I think it’s just for, uhhh, appearances, basically.  My brother Chan just became high prince and I’m the only one of my mum’s kids who isn’t married and she thinks it makes her look bad because all my dad’s other kids have their lives together… anyway, she said either I find a bride for myself or she was going to give me one.  And, uh, she’s not very, hmm, generous, is she?”
Definitely a rhetorical question.  You do not need to have met the faerie princess to know of her predilection for malice.  Felix would most likely be saddled with some Shakespearean donkey-headed monstrosity for all his days.  Felix, being Felix, would smile blithely and accept his awful fate, saying little on the matter when prompted. 
Felix is like that.  He shows neither amity nor animosity to much.  His emotions, whatever they are, manifest unpredictably.  He smiles a lot of blank smiles.  Occasionally he bursts into random tears that flood out of him with terrifying distress.  It comes upon him unexpectedly, so big that it is almost theatrical.  You think he might be mimicking expressions of human pain to convey whatever interior hurt he is feeling, however severe or benign, then it just stops until next time.  
He is not the sort to wail and harass you.  Even if he was desperate, he would not force you to marry him.  Looking into his dark eyes, you know that much.  There are plenty of stories the world over where supernatural princes steal mortal girls from their beds, where they compel them to dance until their feet bleed, where they fill their heads with songs that play until the human goes mad and dies in some anguished pit in their own mind. 
There are not many stories where they propose in a café.
“Felix, you idiot!”  Jisung smacks Felix on the arm.  “You didn’t even tell her the important part.” 
“Oh yeaaah,” Felix says. 
Jisung scoffs and looks at you, his expression soft again.  He squeezes your hand.
“Baby,” he says, “you know how Felix and I have a special, um, connection?” 
You know he means the changeling magic but you think about them kissing.  You push the image aside, as well as the lingering jealously, and nod. 
“Right,” Jisung says.  “We’re like… tied together and shit, right?  Like if I got hit by a bus, Felix would also go splat.”
“Faeries don’t splat,” Felix says, bristled. 
“Splat,” Jisung says sweetly, “like a big stupid faerie pancake.” 
“Jisung,” you say, “are you going to make a point?” 
“The point,” Jisung says, “is Felix is gonna live a long time, if he doesn’t go splat.  So that means… I’m gonna live a long time too.”
“If,” Felix interrupts, “he comes with me to live among the folk.” 
The fair folk.  Another name for the courtly fae.  Divided into seasonal realms, the four courts host a variety of faerie life.  Felix is from the autumn court and Jisung was spirited to it as baby.  You have never crossed from this world into the faerie world.  You know the stories better than anyone, almost more familiar with the foreign realm than the world around you, but its reality has only ever been a distant dream. 
This seems like the world’s strangest break-up: your boyfriend leaving you for his changeling faerie to live an immortal life in the faerie realm.
Except it’s not a break-up.  It’s a proposal. 
“I have no idea what’s happening right now,” you say, juggling feelings of confusion and jealousy and desire.  “What does that have to me with me?  And getting married?” 
“It will bond us together too,” Felix says, smiling again.  “Do you understand?  Isn’t that wonderful?  The three of us can be together for always.  I think you’ll really like it.”  He looks sideways at Jisung and adds, “And you’re smarter than him when it comes to the fair folk.  I would feel better if Jisung had your company.”
“What?” Jisung slaps the table.  “What are you talking about?  I’m the one who’s been there!  I am so totally super smart about faeries all the time!” 
“You once ate a magic apple and grew a tail,” Felix says.   
“You know I get snacky after my naps.  Besides, I got better.  Suck on some salty iron and boom, no tail.” 
Felix sighs, exasperated, and Jisung sighs, even more exasperated. 
“Please marry me,” Felix says imploringly.  “For all of us.” 
Felix cannot lie.  Faerie magic ranges from miniscule to immense, but lying is an impossibility regardless of rank. 
An inability to lie does not guarantee honesty. The truth can be obfuscated.  Faeries are clever with words, cleverer still what they reveal at all.  
Felix has not lied.  He needs to marry.  It would bond you.  You are smarter than Jisung when it comes to the fair folk.
Felix has not told the whole truth.  He does not need to marry you specifically.  He would be happy with just Jisung, you think.  They have something special, something you have always watched from the outside.  You know a lot about faeries but you do not belong to their world.  Felix could keep Jisung safe.  You are a spare. 
Despite the loving stare of your two oldest friends, you feel woefully insecure.  You take your hands back and rest them in your lap, staring morosely into your cooling hot chocolate. 
“Baby?” Jisung says gently.
You look up.  They look equally concerned.  They reach for you at the same time then look at each other.  They mutely come to an accord and Felix takes your hand.  You shiver immediately. 
“Sweetheart,” Felix says.  “It’s just me.  I won’t… I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do, but I… I want to know… I mean, do you not…”
“You don’t want to come with us?”  Jisung asks, his bottom lip wobbling.  Tears spill over his cheeks seconds later.  “I-I-I know it’s a bit weird.  But you’ve always talked about wanting to see it anyway.   And you don’t have any family here anymore.  Are you worried about the royal court thing?  Because I’m gonna be there and Felix says we’ll spend most of our time at his bower anyway and okay I don’t even know what that means and I didn’t wanna seem stupid so I didn’t ask—”
“It’s just my tree-house, Jisung,” Felix says.
“It’s just his tree-house,” Jisung sobs. 
“It isn’t that,” you say.  You reach for Jisung so you are holding both their hands.  You give them a squeeze.  “I love you both.  So much.  It hurts a little sometimes because of how much.  And I’m scared… I’m scared of being left behind.” 
They both pause.  Felix looks more bewildered than any supernatural creature in history, you are sure.  They are inviting you to come along and you express fear of the opposite.  It must be incomprehensible to his mind. 
Apparently it also confuses Jisung because he softly whispers, “What the fuck.”
You bring their hands together and withdraw your own touch. 
“I just mean…”  You are too embarrassed to vocalize it. 
Recognition lights their eyes at the same time.  Jisung rips his hand away. 
“I can’t be alone with Felix forever!”  Jisung cries.  “Are you crazy?  We need you!  Without you it’s just… just… just us.  It’s nothing, it’s empty.  You… you’re our person.  If you’re not there too… then… then… then I’m not going either.  I’d rather get old and die with you than live forever without you.” 
Felix’s mouth opens and closes with a storm of unspoken thoughts.  He has sobbed spectacularly at birthday cards and scraped knees, but he doesn’t cry now. 
Jisung’s exclamation rattles you.  It was such a genuine burst of emotion, so rich with devotion that you feel silly for ever doubting either of them.  Empty, he said.  You never considered what kind of echo might exist between them, how your presence filled it and made it better, not worse. 
You intend to remedy your blunder, an apology on your lips, but then Felix finds his words.
“I’ll tell you my name,” he says.  “My true name.  Will that be enough to convince you?”
Enough?
Enough?
You and Jisung stare at Felix with your jaws dropped.  Felix clenches his jaw, staring back at you. 
Faeries go by many names in their long lifetimes.  Felix was the name Jisung’s mother gave him, but it is not his true faerie name.  Names are powerful things.  If a mortal has a faerie’s true name, they can ensorcell and compel that faerie to do their bidding.  It essentially enslaves them. 
Faeries do not freely reveal their true names, not to other faeries and certainly not to mortals.  Tricky mortals have uncovered faerie names, stories of humans triumphing over wicked creatures, but you cannot think of a single story where the faerie got down on one knee and willingly offered it.
Because that’s what Felix does.  He gets out of the booth and gets down on one knee in front of you, then looks up at you with dark, desperate eyes. 
“I’ll tell you right now if that’s what it takes,” he says.  His hands are shaking.  The wind starts knocking at the window again, harder than before.  Leaves form columns of colour, shooting up to the sky, scattering in every direction. 
“Don’t,” you say.  “Don’t.”  The trust this requires is extraordinarily substantial.  It means more than any simple I love you.  Maybe Felix feels human love or maybe he feels something different.  Maybe losing you is not like losing a person, but like losing a limb or something equally vital.  It must be, for him to offer up his entire being in a word. 
The gesture means more than you can say.  The best way to reciprocate it is by refusing it. 
“It’s enough,” you say, choked up.  “It’s enough that you would offer.” 
“I’ll tell you,” he says, like he thinks you don’t believe him.  But of course you believe him.  He can’t lie. 
“I know,” you say.  “I’m sorry I doubted you.  Come here please.” 
Felix sits beside you and lets you wrap your arms around his neck.  He is tentative at first but then he looks at Jisung and holds you tighter.   The world outside settles once more. 
“Wow, that was intense,” Jisung says.  He grabs a napkin and blows his nose.  “Wheeew.  Wednesdays, am I right?”  
Felix pulls back, just enough so he can see your face.  You feel shy under his rapt attention, flush with warmth when his fingertips sweep from your temple to your jaw.  He holds your chin and tilts your face up.  He seems to be studying you.  This close, you can see all the shades of brown in his eyes, even flecks of dark, dark green and threads of gold.  There is a shimmer to the black of his iris.  If he turned a certain way, you think his glamour would disappear.  You think he would be beautiful anyway. 
He exhales.  His breath flutters over your lips. 
“Will you come with us?” he asks, his deep voice rumbling so soft and low.  “Will you marry me?”
You look at Jisung.  You cannot imagine any circumstance in which a man would look so eager for his girlfriend to accept another man’s proposal, yet this feels completely normal. 
Normal.  The three of you have always had your own definition of that word, haven’t you? 
You look at Felix, at the shimmer of his bold gaze.  
“Yes,” you say.  “Yes, I will.” 
Felix smiles and Jisung lets out a whoop!  You laugh, turning aside to wipe an unbidden tear from your eye.  Felix touches your cheek.  He looks more entranced than anything, blinking long and slow like a content cat. 
Jisung is still celebrating.  He shoves half your croissant in his mouth while you are distracted.  Then, with his cheeks stuffed full of pastry, his eyes get wide. 
“Ohyeah, weforgotsumffing!” he says around a mouthful of food.  He coughs, swallowing too quickly.  Felix clears his throat and passes Jisung your mug.  Jisung gulps it down while you and Felix exchange an affectionate glance.  
Then Jisung clinks the cup on the table and looks at you, sheepish. 
“Haha,” he says.  “By the way, you have to fuck Felix.” 
-
There are entrances to faerie in the deepest part of the woods.  Doorways are found in unlikely patterns that most humans will declare peculiar but innocuous: rings of spotted mushrooms, circular patches of darkening grass, shadows that arch with a perfect curve beneath a canopy of leaves.   
You have known this all your life, but you also knew to never go looking.  Not on your own.  A mortal wandering into faerie is not so different from a lamb wandering into a wolf den.  
Even with a wolf escort, you feel like that vulnerable lamb.  You hold hands with Jisung the entire trek, trailing behind Felix who hums as he lightly dances his way through even the harshest terrain.  Finally you come across two branches, twining up and up until they tangle like two hands clasping across a chasm.  
Winded from the exertion of the hike, you and Jisung come to a slow stop to catch your breaths.  Felix hurries ahead, his face brightening as he approaches the archway. 
“You ready?”  Jisung asks, squeezing your hand.
“Yeah,” you say.  “You?”
“Oh, hell yeah, baby,” he says with a laugh.  You look at him only to find his gaze turned on the archway, faraway with reminiscence.  “I remember it, you know,” he says.
“What?” you ask.  Jisung has never mentioned this before. “But you were just a baby.”
He looks at you with surprise, like he didn’t expect an answer.  Maybe he didn’t mean to say it out loud.  He laughs, deflecting the tension, and rubs the back of his neck. 
“Yeah, I know,” he says.  “Magic I guess, or something.  I dunno.  I just know I remember it.  There’s stuff that happened last week I can’t remember.  In a year, or fifty, or a hundred, I don’t know what I’ll remember from here.  But I remember this place like I never left.” 
You squeeze his hand again.  He looks at you and smiles, squeezing back. 
“Come on!”  Felix calls.  He is standing at the archway, waving to you.  He is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a leather satchel slung across his chest.  The mundanity of his clothing looks unnatural.  If he looked inhuman in that café, he looks even less human now.  His glamour is in tact, his freckles pronounced, but there is a quality to him that defies logic.  He looks like he could take off flying and it would not be unusual. 
You and Jisung exchange a final glance then approach.  Felix smiles and walks backwards through the archway.  You can see him clearly as if he merely took another step in the woods.  He holds out his hands, you and Jisung taking one each, then you step through as well. 
Oh.
October orange sunlight pours through the trees, the early sunset colour of a clear autumn day at its close.  The woods are a mosaic of colour: green, orange, yellow, red, brown, little swirls of leaves flying from branch to branch, gathering in piles and scattering again.  You watch leaves settle over a pile of bones only for the whole apparatus to knit itself together.  You stumble to a surprised stop as a cat made of bones and leaves unfurls before your eyes.  It scampers up to Felix, rattling like an ivory windchime and somehow still purring.  Felix scratches behind its leafy ears, smiling and greeting the kitty affectionately. 
“Come on,” Felix says, not noticing the way you and Jisung are completely arrested by the sight of the cat.  “It’s not far from here.” 
It is the domicile of the autumn court.   It is built into the woods, or swallowed by it, grand structures built within and around trees, some abodes very high in the sunlit branches, some disappearing into the ground.  They are decorated with garlands of dried flowers, gardens of gourds and harvest fruit weaving around the lower rooms.  You jump, startled, when a pile of nearby leaves rises up, revealing itself to be a deer, presumably also made of bones beneath its leafy surface. 
“Whoa,” Jisung says, an apt summary.   The leaf animals have no eyes, the faces uncanny.  The deer turns its neck with a click of bone, dipping its head in a respectful bow to Felix as he passes. 
Felix doesn’t notice.  He is watching you and Jisung now, smiling with so much mirth you think he might start glowing. 
“Do you like it?” he asks, looking directly at you.  Maybe he knows what Jisung is feeling without asking.  You try to school your expression to show more than just awe. 
“It’s beautiful,” you say.  You can see how a mortal could be a swept away by the beauty of the faerie court.  Between the glitter of crunchy leaves and the wafts of cinnamon and spice, it fantastically overwhelms the senses.  You can also see how quickly this dream could turn into a nightmare, if the sun was eclipsed and the undead creatures of the earth turned their vacant eyes on you.
You do not convey the complexity of your thoughts.  Felix takes for granted that you always tell the truth, even though he knows you can lie.  You think he sometimes forgets.   His whole face crinkles up with a smile now, maybe too severely, but you appreciate his attempt to render delight for you. 
“A little further to the palace,” Felix says. 
“Palaaace,” Jisung says in a sing-song, squeezing your hand.  He almost knocks you over when a bird swoops by his head.  This raven is real, not made of leaves, and it perches on Felix’s shoulder.  “Birds,” Jisung says woefully.  “There’s always a freaky-ass bird.” 
“This is one of mine,” Felix says, scratching its head.  “I think my brother sent it.”
You watch as the bird leans in, eerily person-like in how it seems to whisper in his ear before fluttering off.   Felix neither smiles nor frowns, his mouth drawing into a thin line as he comes to a halt.
“What is it?”  Jisung asks.  His startled tone reveals that Felix might be perturbed. 
“They’re expecting us,” Felix says, gazing ahead as if he can see your destination through all the foliage.  “They’re already preparing our wedding.”
“What?” you and Jisung say at the same time.  You look at each other then you ask, “Did you tell them already?”  Felix only proposed yesterday and he has not returned to the faerie realm, unless he snuck away overnight, but you don’t think so.  He spent the night with you and Jisung, Jisung insisting on being the little spoon between two big spoons.  Felix had his arm around Jisung and his hand in yours all night. 
“No,” Felix answers.  “I didn’t say anything yet.”
“This feels spoooooky,” Jisung sings, then laughs nervously. 
“Maybe,” Felix says with a casual shrug of his shoulders.  “Maybe not.  Let’s go.” 
You and Jisung exchange another look, but you have gone too far to turn around, so you follow Felix.  He leads you to a red-bricked path that thickens with moss the further you walk.    When you reach the base of a hill, Felix stops to hold your hand. 
“Don’t look back until I say,” he says.  “You could fall.  Keep your eyes on me or the cat.  She knows the way too.” 
The cat is running around your feet, mewling, though the clack of its jaws is louder than its airy voice.  You decide to look at Felix instead.  Apparently Jisung picks the cat because he coos, “Aww, she’s kinda cute in a freaky way.  What’s her name?” 
“Babyeater,” Felix says. 
“Oh nooo,” Jisung replies.
You follow Felix and the cat up an incline that grows so steep that at one point you are walking perpendicular to the forest below.   You look at Felix the whole time, squeezing his hand tightly.   His returned squeeze is reassuring.  You remind yourself this is Felix, the same boy who kissed your scraped knees better, who sat through all your childhood tea parties even though he never really understood the concept of playing pretend, the same boy who has dutifully and lovingly obliged your every whim, however much he failed to understand its human purpose.  For Felix, it was always enough if it made you happy. 
He leads you safely over the crest of the hill, then it’s just a few more steps through a darker patch of woods before you are stepping into a huge clearing, bright and orange and gold.   Three massive, broad trees stand in the distance, an elaborate stone citadel built around the trunks.   There are faeries and other supernatural entities wandering around an autumnal garden, some scurrying with bundles of lights and candles and drapery.   The clearing and castle have been beautifully and frightfully decorated with pumpkins and dried flowers and bones. 
“Is this for us?”  Jisung asks.  “Uh, I mean, for you?”
“It looks like it,” Felix says uncertainly.  “I don’t know how they—”
Jisung screams, a proper shrill yell right in your ear, when something bursts out of some shrubbery and blocks his path.  You stumble back with wide-eyed surprise and Jisung instinctively shields you even in his terror.  Felix is not scared, his face neutral as ever, but his connection to Jisung has him reacting similarly, guarding you with his body. 
An eyeless husk straightens itself, bony limbs stretching for the sky.  You hear the crack of a neck-bone and the flutter of leaves, then all at a once a glamour settles over the faerie, revealing a handsome young man with short brown hair and dark eyes. 
“He’s still loud,” the faerie says.  “You were loud as a baby too.  Wahhh-wahhhh-wahhhhhh—” 
“Seungmin,” Felix says, nonplussed.  “Thank you for the raven.” 
Felix bows and the faerie, Seungmin, who must be the aforementioned brother, bows back as per the dictation of decorum. 
“Chan is mad he had to find out the news from Hyunjin,” Seungmin says, his mouth quirked in a smirky little half-smile.  “You better to be ready to grovel.”   
“Ah,” Felix says.   He looks over at you and Jisung who are clinging to each other, still wide-eyed with surprise.  “Hyunjin is a prince from the spring court,” Felix says.  “He can see the future.”
“Oh,” Jisung says.  “Yeah, sure, makes sense.”  He looks at you with a face that says, it definitely does not make sense. 
“Spring court,” Seungmin says with a little eye-roll.  “They burst in here with a dramatic fuss like always.  It’s embarrassing that the high prince of autumn learned about his favourite little brother’s engagement from a different court...”
“I can’t help that Hyunjin sees the future,” Felix says, more disgruntled than you have ever heard him.  It occurs to you, as you look between him and Seungmin, that Felix stands out here just as much as he did in the human world.  It is different, as here it is the little cracks of humanity that fracture his faerie face.  Not just the glamour, the freckles or his clothes, but some intrinsic bearing.   Maybe it is the sameness to Jisung, the way they block you with the same stance, the way they shuffle on the same foot.  Maybe it’s something else, but it is suddenly pronounced. 
Seungmin does not appear to notice Felix’s tone.  He just gives another bow which Felix is forced to return.  You see Jisung twitching and you squeeze his hand. 
“You don’t have to bow,” you whisper.    
“I know,” he says, then bobs twice in an aborted half-bow. 
You sigh.  You jump when Jisung shrieks again, startled by a little leaf-dog that comes running out of the shrubbery.  It is being pursued by some frantic sprites.  They yammer at the puppy in a faerie tongue as it starts to chase the cat.  All their bones are clattering as they run around, cat then dog then sprites.  Seungmin blinks at the fiasco then looks at Felix. 
“Let’s go,” Seungmin says.  He turns and gives you a bow, as is polite, then looks at Jisung and says, “Boo!” 
Jisung jumps and Seungmin cackles, bowing. 
Felix gives Seungmin a little shove, his mouth a grim line again. 
You follow Seungmin further into the garden, coming upon a feast that seems to be currently underway even while servants continue to set the party around the guests.   Food appears and disappears off the table, some faeries eating and some of them throwing food at the servants.   You have heard stories of ensorcelled human servants being trapped in places like this, but you only see faeries so far.  It doesn’t put you at ease exactly, but you don’t feel quite as frightened. 
Then all the faerie guests at the grand table stop and look at you.   Then you are frightened. 
“Hi,” Jisung squeaks. 
It is nervously and thoughtlessly blurted, but it would be impolite to ignore it, so a chorus of “hi” and “hello” circles the table in return. 
Most of them have a glamour of some kind.  A stockier, handsome faerie with bright orange hair stands.   He is on the other side of the long banquet table but manifests in front of you in mere seconds.  You are very alarmed to find him wearing bandages under a black army coat, the white wraps stained with blood.  It is very at odds with his deeply dimpled smile. 
“Hi there,” he says, looking past Jisung and straight at you.  “Wow, Felix really did it.  Welcome.  Call me Chan.  Sorry for the, ah, blood, I think it upsets humans?”  This apology seems sincere enough, accompanied with a tilt of the head, but he offers no further explanation.  He pulls you into an embrace, tucking you into the fold of one muscular arm, and laughing with an unexpectedly adorable giggliness.  “We have a human little sister.  That’s fun, yeah?”  He looks at the table and everyone nods and claps, only a few characters mutely unresponsive. 
You smile, maybe.  It feels a bit boxy.  Your brain is fitting all the pieces together, recalling that Seungmin referred to Chan as the high prince of autumn.   Chan is thus the highest font of power in this faerie court and he is hugging you. 
The hug pulls you away from Jisung who moves closer to Felix.  You look at them, watching as they hold hands, trying to convey with your eyes that you would rather be with them.
There is no time for any extraction attempt because a fuss stirs at one end of the table.  A pink-haired faerie bursts out of his seat.  He is long-limbed, tall and spindly, and he runs around the huge table at a fairly human speed.  He is wearing a billowy green jacket and a long string of pearls, his pastel appearance at some odds to the deepness of the autumn court. 
“Hey Fee-lix! Heeey!” he says, very literally bouncing when he reaches Felix.   
“Aha, hi, Hyunjin,” Felix says.   
“You brought humans!”  Hyunjin says, sweeping down to look at Jisung, then turning his dark-eyed stare to you.  His glamour is astonishingly beautiful, as bright as his pearls, a face like a handsome marble statue and a supermodel’s stature.  But he slinks like a ferret, as smirky as a fox.   “The bride,” he says with something of a wistful sigh.  His dark eyes are sparkling.  “A faerie and a human.  How romantic.  I love romance.” 
Then you are freed from hugging Chan, but only because Hyunjin cups your face in both hands and kisses you.  Not a greeting kiss either, but a deep kiss.  You sputter when he licks you. 
“Um,” Jisung squeaks. 
“This is High Prince Hyunjin.  Of the spring court, of course,” Chan says amiably, not doing anything to stop the high prince of the spring court from sucking face with his brother’s bride. 
Hyunjin stops on his own, smiling at you fondly.  “Pretty girl,” he says, stroking his whole hand over your face.  “I wish I could marry you.”  This is spoken without much longing, but it must be true or he couldn’t say it.   
He turns his sights on Jisung next.  Jisung straightens, eyes darting around for an escape. 
“The changeling baby,” Hyunjin says.  “He’s so cute now.  Can I marry this one, Felix?” 
Jisung’s eyes widen, looking at Felix, then at you. 
Felix looks unamused.  “No,” he says simply. 
Hyunjin pouts, slinking up to Jisung.  He grabs his face, long fingers grasping him tight.  Jisung’s lips part with surprise, his cheeks puffing when Hyunjin shakes his head around. 
“That’s not fair,” Hyunjin says.  “You already have one.” 
“I said no,” Felix repeats. 
Hyunjin just sighs.  “I knew you’d say that,” he says.  “Oh well.”  Then he kisses Jisung full on the mouth too, Jisung squeaking through the very wet onslaught.  Hyunjin just smiles and strokes his face, then goes back to the table. 
Hyunjin’s self-introduction triggers a similar desire in the remaining guests.  Soon they are swarming you, forced into the vaguest semblance of a queue when Chan waves a demanding hand.  You meet Felix’s mother, who smiles and coos at you like she didn’t mandate a wife in the first place.  You meet Changbin, another half-brother of Felix, who thankfully follows the example set by Chan and not Hyunjin and simply hugs you.  He is so burly and strong that it lifts you off your feet, but he has enough restraint not to crush you, so that’s something.  
There are clusters of other faeries, all noisy, all dipping in bows or trying to kiss you, and all of them from the spring or autumn court.   A hush falls over the garden when the remaining guests approach for an introduction.  Felix finally appears at your side, Jisung too, standing on either side of you and holding your hands. 
“Winter and Summer,” Felix whispers as two courtly fae and their retinues step forward. 
You know very well why Felix deigns to warn you.  The autumn court and spring court, as per their seasonal equivalents, are shifting and transitory in many ways; they grow and they learn, and they often host humans, be it in a generous or malicious capacity.  The winter and summer courts are hostile to change, and both have little to do with humans at all.  Whatever human encounters have transpired in those courts have left few survivors to speak of it. 
Their glamours fit them strangely, like new clothes not yet broken in.   The first prince wears his glamour like a boy forced into dress clothes by a parent, walking with a stiff sort of discomfort.  His robes are coloured blue and yellow, long and loose, his blonde hair turning dark blue at the root.  His dimples are deep and cheekbones very sharp, and when he smiles he reveals a whole row of long, piercing teeth that he forgot to glamour altogether. 
You jump, staring aghast as the otherwise too-pretty prince sweeps into a bow.  He looks at Chan, sees him smiling, and copies the expression with a frightful brightness. 
“Prince Jeongin,” Felix says.  He squeezes your hand, reminding you to bow back. You do so swiftly.  “Summer.” 
“High Prince,” Jeongin says, laughing for some reason, a wheezing sound. 
“You have fourteen older brothers,” Felix says. 
“Had.”  Jeongin smiles again, his dimples deepening, his teeth glittering.  “I ate them.” 
“Oh,” Felix says. There is a pause as he looks at you then looks at Jeongin.  Your face reveals terror, you are certain, but Jeongin is waiting expectantly.  Felix weighs his words and says, “Uh.  You must be happy to be congratulated.” 
You wonder how you ever thought Felix was strange.  He seems so normal suddenly, the only one who finds something wrong with a person eating fourteen brothers.  If he did approve, he would not have to word his congratulations so strangely to avoid a lie. 
Unless he just did that to appease you, a small voice says in the back of your head. A different truth is not a lie.
You wish you were not such an overthinker.  This is Felix.   Your Felix.  Yours, yours.   As much yours as Jisung, who is breathing a little heavier, so it makes Felix breathe heavier, and their combined strain has you close to panting as well. 
You are thus all breathless when you meet the final prince, introduced as High Prince Minho of the winter court.  He is wearing dark clothes, apparently sans his usual furry winter accoutrements, and his glamour is a barely-there mask that vanishes when the light hits him at certain angles.  He wears it like a loosely tied scarf, grudgingly donned.  He has not glamoured his eyes, mismatched and vibrant and vacant of all human emotion.  He does not smile when he bows.   Like Jeongin, he does not hug or kiss you. 
He looks you over, his stare raking, then he does the same to Jisung.  Whatever he sees makes him laugh, though it is a derisive sound.   Then he looks at Felix and says, “They’re fragile.  Be careful, changeling.” 
When he leaves, Jisung whispers, “Honestly, that last one got me kinda hard.”
“Yeah,” Felix says, unhappily, “I know.”   
And just like that, you are trying very hard not to laugh. 
You look at Felix and find his returned gaze to be very affectionate.  You always thought his regards looked a little too precise, like he was concentrating on forming the appropriate expression, but compared to certain toothy grins and cold laughs, Felix looks positively alight with sentiment.   He still looks strange in his t-shirt and jeans, but you think he might look strange anyway. 
It never occurred to you before that Felix’s changeling life might have made him an oddity on both sides of the veil. 
You feel a pang of sympathy, suddenly. 
Felix looks down at where you are holding his hand.  You see his gaze flit across to where you hold Jisung’s hand as well.  It exacerbates that pang in your chest, recalling your own jealousy when you found them kissing, plus all the years spent wishing you shared their magical connection.  It never occurred to you that Felix might feel some type of way about you dating Jisung, about you and Jisung both being human.  Maybe it reminded he was an outcast wherever he went.  Always very close to being part of something, never quite belonging. 
Funny enough, Jisung has always been significantly more blasé.   He sets his sights on what he wants and it never occurs to him that he will not have it.  He has Felix, he dates you, you marry Felix, he lives forever.  You look at your human boyfriend, at the way his dark eyes seem to sparkle as he looks around the garden.  You think somehow, despite his occasional shrieks and frights, he looks more home here than Felix. 
“Right then!”  Chan suddenly claps in your face, startling you.  “It’s wedding time, yeah?  We’ve never had a human wedding here before but Hyunjin is an expert so he helped us out…” 
Two faerie servants rip you away from Felix and Jisung.  Hyunjin follows you, looking very keen, his hands clasped behind his back but his whole face lit up brightly.  His eagerness does not put you at ease, nor are you reassured by his seemingly “expert” advice.  Seeing as he thought it was appropriate to introduce himself by making out with you, you sincerely doubt he is the human expert he has proclaimed himself to be.  
Sure enough, the slapdash preparations are very random.  You are shoved into a very pretty dress, but then Hyunjin attempts to adorn you with both a veil and a headpiece, and you can see an array of other accessories from international wedding regalia.  Being as polite as possible, you decline the offer to any headpiece at all.   
“Wow,” Hyunjin says, cupping your face.  “You are so humble.  Humans are so amazing, the way they just let themselves be ugly.  Wow.  Wow.  I won’t interfere with your hideous but humble head.  Should we kiss again?”        
“I think it’s better we don’t,” you say.  “It might wrinkle the dress?”
He nods sagely.  “That would be bad,” he agrees.  “Especially because your head is so bare and horrible.  The dress is doing all the work.  Can I put flowers in your hair or do you really prefer to be ugly?” 
“Uh, flowers, yeah, sure,” you say.  He says everything so frankly that you somehow can’t feel offended.  A compliment would feel just as meaningless. 
“I’ve always wanted to attend a human wedding,” Hyunjin says.  “You know, spring is a very popular time for human weddings.  But humans are always dying so fast after, so it makes me sad to watch them properly.” 
“You feel sadness?” you ask.  Though Hyunjin and Felix seem quite different, perhaps you can glean an answer to the depth of faerie emotions.  Especially considering this marriage business feels like an entirely different beast now that you are in a wedding dress with an entire congregation of faeries sitting in a garden waiting for you.  It seemed like a simpler affair when it was just Felix and Jisung in a café booth.     
“Oh, of course,” Hyunjin says.  “I feel sad all the time.  I feel sad right now because you aren’t marrying me.”  He says this with a great deal of joviality, smiling at you like he’s proud of his supposed sadness.  
You decide not to ask more questions on that front, because you doubt his answers will be very helpful.  You do enquire after the wedding festivities.  You try not to frown at the very random assemblage of traditions he has baked into a single ceremony.  It sounds like a tedious affair but you decide to brace it, supposing it could be worse. 
“Then we all watch the royal consummation,” Hyunjin says casually, adding another flower to your hair. 
You grab his wrist without thinking, stopping him.
“Did I stab you?” he asks, blowing on your head to check for blood.  “Sorry.  I keep forgetting pins in heads kill humans.”  He says this with a lot of exasperation, like it’s a personal inconvenience to him that humans die so easily. 
“No, it’s not that,” you say.  He pops another peony on your head, manifesting the little buds out of thin air.  “What do you mean ‘we all watch the royal consummation?’  Who is ‘we’?”  
“The high princes, obviously,” he says, tucking a rose behind your ear. 
You stare ahead, mouth hanging open. 
Yesterday seems so long ago now, but Jisung and Felix did explain to you that the autumn court required an act of consummation to legitimize the marriage.  Apparently it has nothing to do with virginity or rearing heirs, mostly functioning as a ritual for the sake of itself.  Once faeries decide something is a rule they must follow it. 
You were very hot in the face the entire conversation.  Jisung seemed content to describe the way you need would have sex with his changeling faerie, but you were too embarrassed to meet either gaze. 
Maybe it would have been easier if you did not want to sleep with Felix. If it was just a necessity, it would be meaningless.
But you very much do desire Felix, even if he only smiled blithely during the discussion.  He seemed unaffected while you were very flustered. 
This is a very different type of flustered. 
“I was not told there would be an audience,” you finally say.
“There isn’t usually,” Hyunjin says.  “But that’s how human princes do it, if I remember.  A whole council watches.  Felix doesn’t have a council, though, so we’ll have to do it.  It would be very rude not to indulge your human traditions.  There!  All done.”
He steps back to admire your appearance.  You are still frazzled from the conversation, from the strong floral scent that is now wrapped around you, from everything. 
“You look—”  Hyunjin pauses, then, “—not horrible at all!  I did a very good job.  Now the wedding can start.  I’ll tell Chan to start killing the sacrificial wedding goats.   We only have one and it’s made of leaves and bones but I assumed that would be okay with you.  This way we can just keep killing the same one over and over again.  I’ll be right back.” 
“Can I—”  You feel panicked.  You need to see Jisung.  Hyunjin has you sequestered in some little golden alcove.  You do not want to be hunted down if you just flee, so you ask, “Can I go look at myself in a mirror?” 
“You’re testing me,” Hyunjin says, his long fingers covering his mouth with a surprised gasp.  Then he giggles.  “I passed!  I know you can’t look at the bride before the wedding.  Wait here!”  Then he disappears out the gate and around the corner. 
You sit down in a huff and close your eyes.  You try counting backwards from one hundred to calm yourself, but you reach the low twenties and still feel tense.   
Then you hear the patter of human footsteps.  You know it is a human because faeries scarcely disturb the ground where they walk.  You hear the crunch of leaves and lift your head, feeling a rush of relief with Jisung pokes his head into the alcove. 
“There you are,” he says.  “Felix is – uh – they’re getting him – dressed – and I wanted –  wanted you—” 
You stand as he talks, as his voice drifts, as his breath catches.  He looks down the length of your dress then back up, his dark eyes watery as he exhales with a gut-punching whoosh. 
“You look so beautiful, baby,” he says.  “This – this feels weird.  I know it’s – weird.  But it’s not – it’s not wrong, right?  It’s just weird.  But weird isn’t bad.   It’s just—”
“Weird,” you say, with a little laugh.  “Yeah.  I know.” 
He smiles softly.  He wore his glasses here but he has since put in contacts.  His hair is neatly styled and he changed into slightly nicer clothes, still human world, but very handsome in his black pants and black shirt.  He is so handsome that for a moment you forget about all your worries, taking a step towards him with your hand extended.  He catches that hand, bringing it to his shoulder.  He sweeps you into a kiss that banishes all your bad thoughts, the familiar taste and feel of him engulfing you.   You sink your fingers in his hair, parting your lips under the press of his mouth. 
It's him who ends the kiss, breathlessly, stuttering, “S-sorry, wait.  I came here to tell – to tell you – the consummation – that pink guy—”
“I know,” you say with a cringe.  You bury your face in his neck.  “Ugh, a bunch of faeries are gonna watch me have sex.” 
“Faeries and me!” he says with a nervous laugh. 
“Huh!”
“I tried to stop it, but no one would really listen to me,” he says.  “Someone only listened when I said it was weird for a guy to watch his little brother have sex, and some people agreed, so Prince Chan said I should take his place, since there were no faeries of equal rank to him and at least I was human.”  He slaps a hand to his forehead.  “Sorry.  I tried.” 
“Oh, Jisung,” you say, giggling a little helplessly at your morose boyfriend.  “How do you get yourself into these situations?” 
“You’re wearing a wedding dress!” he replies. 
“That’s only because I know you!” 
“Your life would have been very boring without me,” Jisung says, smiling. 
“I know,” you say.  “It would have been awful.” 
Because for as strange as all this faerie nonsense is, you cannot imagine a world where you never knew Jisung, where you never knew Felix, where you never had this love in your life, as messy and jealous and complicated as it has been at times. 
You tip your head, gazing into Jisung’s eyes.  He shivers when you twirl a bit of his hair around your finger. 
“Jisungie,” you say, thinking of your own jealousy, of Felix’s confounding glances.  “Do you ever feel jealous at all?”
“Of what?” he asks, totally innocent.
“I don’t know,” you say.  You are not sure how to explain it without seeming ridiculous, which puts it into some perspective.  “I mean, me and Felix are about to… you know.”
“Uh, yeah.  That’s okay.  I don’t want to have sex in front of the cannibal faerie,” Jisung says, making you laugh.  “Not a joke!” 
“I know, I know.”  You kiss his cheek. 
“I couldn’t be jealous of you two,” he says, looking contemplative, as if this has never really occurred to him before.  Then he looks at you a bit sheepishly, his gaze skittish in how it darts around. 
“What?” you ask, recognizing his shy mischief. 
“I think it’s… uh… kinda hot?”  He rubs the back of his neck.  “I love you and I guess I also love that stupid faerie boy.  And… maybe… I kinda wanna see…”
You feel very hot again. 
“You, um, want to watch Felix fuck me?” you ask, frankly as you can. 
“Yes.”  He stares straight up, his ears gone completely red and his cheeks turning pink.  “I think you’ll look hot together.  I was kinda hoping we’d do something like this one day.  I mean, the cannibal faerie is a surprise, but other than that…”
You kiss him.  His arms circle your waist and he tugs you close, the kiss deepening naturally.  You let all your flustered embarrassment fizzle away, thinking about Felix, thinking about Jisung.  You get a bit handsy, squeezing Jisung’s biceps then resting your hands on his chest.  He makes a little sound into the kiss, one of his needy whimpers.  It never fails to light you up. 
“I’m nervous,” you say, speaking low, against his lips.  “Thinking about so many of them watching me and Felix…”
It is clear by his gulp and frantic nod that Jisung finds the scenario sexier than he should.   “Yeah, baby,” he says.  “What can I do?” 
You know the faeries will be occupied with Hyunjin’s myriad of rituals for a while, so you peck his lips and ask, “Get me ready?”
“Ready,” he repeats.  His gaze jumps up to the flowers in your hair.  “You are ready.” 
“Not like that,” you say.  
Jisung really does his best to be appropriate, but he gets pussy-drunk faster than any man you have ever known.  A suggestion is all it takes.  You tap his shoulder and he obediently drops to his knees. 
“Baby,” he says in a reverent whisper, sighing, eyes closing when you run your fingers through his hair. 
Heavy-lidded and so seemingly submissive to your desire, Jisung looks up at you.  Then he reaches past you, grabs the chair by the leg, and yanks.  He is not too gentle, spilling you onto it with a forceful nudge. 
You know Jisung does nothing by halves.  He is singular in his passions.   You ask him to kneel, so he kneels, so he closes his eyes, so he opens his mouth.  He pushes your dress out of his way and licks through your panties until the fabric is sticky and you are so so wet that it clings to you.  Your thighs tremble and he whimpers softly, high and light in the back of his throat. 
“Jisungie…”
“Shh, shh, shh,” he says in a raspy voice, drawing the fabric aside.  “It’s okay.  Don’t cry.  I’ve got you, baby.” 
He speaks so sweetly, like he is incapable of being mean, even while he torments you with long, twisting strokes of his tongue, never committing to a single pattern.  It is a storm of sensation, rolling through you over and over again.  You are so sensitive that slightest nudge feels like a miniature orgasm all on its own.  You gasp and whine, trying and failing to close your legs around his head. 
“Jisuuung,” you say, your voice rough. “We don’t have much time, I need to come…”
He moans when he buries his tongue in you, when he licks messily up past your clit and back down again.  You grab his hair and tug, though it does nothing to deter him. 
“Your husband can make you come later,” he says, giggling an inch from your pussy.  “I’m just warming you up…”  
“Please,” you say, “please, please, please.”
“Hmm?” is his reply, then he sighs and dives back. 
Your eyes close, brow furrowing in concentration.  You rock your hips against his mouth as he finally starts circling your clit with a single-minded resolve.  You feel flushed and shaky, pleasure and heat coursing through you, and you know you must look as ravaged as you feel.   
You open your eyes and see Felix standing in the entryway.  He looks astonishingly beautiful, his long blonde hair neatly styled back, his freckles pronounced and eyes so dark.  Long earrings made of sparkling orange gems dangle from his ears, looking at once like rippling flames and water running over bronze.  He is dressed in an approximation of a tuxedo, except the pants are leather and the shirt and blazer are cropped too short. 
He tips his head, his eyes on Jisung for a moment.  Then he holds your gaze unflinchingly, maybe daringly.  His smile appears slowly.  It is too gentle to be lecherous, tender despite the fact his gloved hand runs over his belt and tugs.  His tongue touches his bottom lip and he tips his head the other way. 
His presence startles you for a moment.  You should feel caught, or embarrassed, or something.  But the initial surprise fades and you just stare back at him.  You dig your fingers into Jisung’s hair and breathe harder as he strokes and strokes and strokes you with his tongue. 
Felix exhales.  His smile is still soft.  He lifts a darkly gloved hand and gestures to you, curling two fingers, a suggestive come here. 
Then Jisung’s hand goes from your thigh to your pussy, two fingers curling inside you without any resistance.  Felix’s smile curves into a pleased, satisfied smirk.  He nods. 
You come, holding Jisung’s face against your pussy, letting him moan and whimper with his own pleasure as you roughly fuck his mouth.  When he lifts his head, his mouth is so obscenely wet that you throb with a renewed ache of desire. 
“I think you’re ready now,” Jisung says.  He lowers your legs and slowly slides his fingers out of you.  Your breath catches, swallowing up a sound of a surprise when he uses both thumbs to spread your pussy open to his gaze – his and Felix.  Your head feels fuzzy and not with faerie magic. 
“I think so,” Felix says. 
Jisung does not seem surprised by his voice. He lets you go, your dress falling back over your lap.  He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and looks over his shoulder at Felix.  Felix approaches, his steps silent despite his big black boots.
You watch.  Jisung’s bottom lip twitches.  He looks up at Felix with the same hazy intoxication he looked at you.  Felix bites the tip of a glove, pulling the fabric off with his teeth, then he swipes his thumb across Jisung’s glistening mouth.  Felix brings that thumb to his own bottom lip, his tongue only just swiping the tip of it. 
Then Hyunjin struts into the alcove and slaps a shocked hand over his mouth. 
“What are you doing?” he demands.  You think he is going to remark on the man kneeling at your feet, not to mention your sexually dishevelled appearance, but then he says, “Felix.  You’re supposed to have a hat.” 
“I don’t need a hat, Hyunjin,” Felix says with a sigh.  “I would like to talk to my bride for a minute.” 
“That is impossible,” Hyunjin says.  “You need a hat.  Come with me.”
It occurs to you that you are watching the two most emotional faeries in their courts, even if those emotions are aimed in strange directions, like hats.  Because Hyunjin is very adamant and Felix is very annoyed.  You are more than a little concerned that if things come to a head, it will turn horrifying without much effort.
Then Jisung leaps to his feet and puts himself between the two faerie princes.  It surprises everyone to silence.  Even Hyunjin stumbles to a stop.  He cocks his head like a predator regards a measly scrap of prey, eyes flashing as he takes a menacing step forward.  
Felix has no time to react.  You have no chance to scream. 
Jisung is a step ahead of everyone.
He bows.  Hyunjin stumbles to a stop for a second time.  It takes him a second to realize what has happened but when he does his eye twitches.  He bows back, then straightens with a huff.
Jisung bows again.  You slap a hand over your mouth to hide your surprised laugh.  Hyunjin looks far less amused.  Glaring, he bows too, as per the rules of politeness. 
Jisung leaps to the side and bows again, forcing Hyunjin to follow him.  He does this twice more, leading Hyunjin to the exit, bowing back and forth the whole time. 
“Make him stop!”  Hyunjin shrieks.
“Okay, okay!” Jisung says, hands raised in surrender.   He bows one more time, swooping low, then he turns and runs as fast as he can.
Hyunjin, obliged to return the bow, goes chasing after him with a frantic yelp. 
“Is he gonna be okay?” you ask, springing to your feet.  You dress falls neatly down. 
“Yes,” Felix says.  “Hyunjin won’t hurt humans.  He likes them too much.”  He turns to you then, his expression returned to a more passive neutrality, though you do not miss the way he looks you over.  “Will you be okay?” he asks.  “I’m sorry.  I thought we would have more time when we got here.  I didn’t know they would do this.” 
“It’s okay,” you say, too shy for a conversation after he very much watched you orgasm.  “Um.  Might as well, I guess… get it out of the way.” 
“Yes.”  He frowns at this, turning aside.  “You want to… get it out of the way.  I understand.  I’m sorry it had to be this way.  You don’t want to marry me.” 
He says it so plainly and without any hesitation.  He must believe it is the absolute truth.  For a moment, you can only stare at him, his handsome profile, the tendrils of sadness that tug at his features.  How did you never see it before?
“Felix,” you say gently.  He does not look at you.  You touch his arm and he looks at your hand.  “Felix, I am happy to marry you.  I love you.”  He looks up at that, his brow furrowed.  “And Jisung,” you add.  “I’m… I’m glad it happened this way.  So that you and I—”   He turns to you and your heart skips a few beats, affected by the warmth of his steady gaze.  “So that you and I could come together as well.  And now the three of us—” 
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, then looks aside.  “I’m sorry.  That was forward, yeah?  I just… don’t want the first time to be out there.  Is that strange?  To be honest, sometimes I don’t know what’s strange or what isn’t.  The rules are different everywhere, you know?  I don’t think I’m doing a good job of this.  I’m sorry.  We don’t have to—”
You cup his face and kiss him.  It is very stiff for a moment, because you are both surprised by your brazen action.  He somehow grounds himself first, a careful hand curling around your hip to guide you a little closer.  A breath passes between you then he kisses you back. 
You touch his chest, making a sweet small sound into the kiss when his lips slide so softly against yours.  You are about to deepen it when Jisung interrupts with, “Aww, you’re kissing!  So cute!” 
You and Felix look over at him.  His hands are clasped and he is gushing as only Jisung can. 
“I thought you were running,” Felix says, with a hint of amusement. 
“Stupid labyrinth led me back here,” Jisung says.  He mimes zipping his lips shut and gestures to you.  “Keep kissing.  Pretend I’m not here.” 
“I wouldn’t want to pretend that,” Felix says, so sincerely that Jisung’s eyes widen.  They look at each other for a long moment, then Felix looks at you.  He cups your face. 
Then Hyunjin comes running in.  He swings his arms in a dramatic flail and flower petals fly everywhere.  The leaf dog comes running in and starts nipping at the air, trying to catch the petals.  In the midst of this chaos, Hyunjin storms up to Jisung and promptly bows.  Then he shoves him to the side and grabs Felix by the arm.
“Hat!” he shouts.  “Now!” 
-
It is a twenty-six hour wedding ceremony.  You and Jisung fall asleep halfway through festivity number twelve, curled up under a furry blanket near a fire pit.  You wake when Felix lifts your head into his lap.  Jisung is already curled up with his head on your belly, so you smile and snuggle into Felix.  He cups your face and strokes your cheek, the flickering firelight casting shadows on his face, making his smile seem bigger than usual. 
The consummation ritual is last.  It takes place inside the castle, in a beautiful room that appears to have been designed for this express purpose.  The mossy stone walls are decorated with dried flowers, the plush bed laden with thick red throws and burgundy cushions.   Despite the tall open windows, there is no autumn chill, a lit fireplace cozying the room with its warmth.
It would be a lovely chamber if not for the translucent curtain with a literal audience behind it.  The winter and summer princes sit ramrod straight, so uninterested in their surroundings that it actually puts you at ease.  Hyunjin looks… a little too eager to be honest, but you aren’t convinced he understands this ritual anymore than anything else today. 
Jisung is side-eying Jeongin, who is sitting beside him because Hyunjin refused to sit by ‘the annoying changeling brat’.  Minho is sitting between Jeongin and Hyunjin, casting the occasional side-eye to the spring prince.  Despite his stoic countenance, his displeasure with the company is clear. 
Honestly, the whole tableau is quite comedic.  You find yourself trying to stifle laughter when Felix finally arrives.  You were sent to separate rooms to undress and change into robes, but you arrived here first.   Felix looks at you curiously, clearly perplexed by your laughter. 
“You’re not nervous anymore,” he observes. 
“No,” you say.  “I’ve just been thinking like a faerie.” 
He tilts his head at that.  You smile and kiss him, a chaste kiss that makes his lashes flutter.  The little reaction tickles a flurry of butterflies in your belly.  You hold his hand and lead him to the bed where you sit down.  His eyes shift with a nervous scuttle, but he follows the direction of your hand when you gesture to him. 
You keep your eyes on his, intensely locked as you lift his hand and take two fingers in your mouth.  When you close your lips around his fingers and gently suck, his breath catches.  It echoes in Jisung. 
Then Jeongin whispers loudly, “Is she going to eat him?”  He sounds moderately intrigued. 
“Be quiet,” Hyunjin replies. 
“I think it’s over,” Minho says, catching onto your ruse before anyone else.  
You smile and open your eyes.  You separate from Felix and turn your head to the silhouettes beyond the curtain. 
“A penetrative performance,” you state.   “I believe that was the requirement.  And I believe that should qualify.” 
You are stretching the meaning of those words and you know it, but that’s what faeries do.  His fingers ‘penetrated’ the breach of your mouth, so it should count on the most technical level. 
“All done,” you say with a smile and wave. 
“So you’re not eating him?”  Jeongin says, frowning. 
Minho is the first one to stand.  He flicks Jeongin’s forehead as he passes, but otherwise says nothing before fleeing the room.  Jeongin follows with a slightly disgruntled shuffle, then Hyunjin stomps his foot. 
“Humans,” he says, marching past Jisung. 
The door closes behind Hyunjin.  Jisung claps a hand over his mouth and laughs into it, so hard he has to put a hand over his stomach as he doubles over.   Felix laughs too, a pleasantly low rumble that he tries to stifle with a cough.  You smile up at him, leaning back on your palms and admiring him in the warm orange light.  He tucks some hair behind his ear, regarding you with a very tender gaze when he nods his head in a curt little bow. 
“All done,” he says.  It makes your brow furrow: the little shift in tone, the tension that still draws his shoulders back.  You realize that even after everything, he is still uncertain about his place.  Even Jisung knows where he belongs, not for a moment thinking he should leave the room, but Felix takes a step away from the bed like he intends to do just that.
You grab his hand, drawing his attention back to you.  Blonde hair falls around his face, shadowing it.  He doesn’t quite meet your eyes, gaze somewhere on your chin. 
“Felix,” you say.  His fingers tighten around yours and it feels like a question.  You answer by tugging that hand, drawing him closer.  His eyes flash gold when you drop his hand to open your robe.  This time you can hear Jisung’s sharp breath too, all laughter subsiding as you let the robe fall off your shoulders, laying yourself bare before Felix. 
He looks awed but stricken.  You can see when he swallows.  He looks at Jisung then back at you, his brow furrowing.  His lips twitch in a bid to speak but no words come.   
It would be funny, this supernatural being somehow struck dumb by you in your most vulnerable state, but your smile is more affectionate than amused.
“Felix,” you say again.  “Have you ever done something like this before?” 
He shakes his head frantically, his eyes still running up and down your body. 
“No,” he says.  “Uh, no.  No.  I can – feel something when Jisung – when you – I mean—”  He chokes on an awkward laugh, turning away for a second. 
“I fucking knew it!”  Jisung says, poking his head between the folds of the curtain.  “Bro, you’re such a liar.  I asked if you could feel when we fuck and you said no!”
“I can’t lie,” Felix replies, turning to Jisung.  He forgets to be embarrassed while arguing, very plainly and patiently stating his case.  “I told you most faeries don’t think about sex like humans and that I couldn’t be certain what you were doing, yeah?  And I can’t.  And I would have told you more but you only asked the first time and I didn’t know you were going to keep… being with her.  And I – I didn’t want to make things awkward… for you… okay?  By thinking of me every time… so I just… What are you smiling at?”  His deep voice breaks, pitching comically higher for a second. 
Jisung is smirking and nodding, just a floating head with a vague silhouetted body behind the curtain. 
“Man,” Jisung says, “you’ve been acting like a monk but secretly jacking it while we get freaky in the other room… That’s naughty.”
Felix draws his mouth into a flat line then looks at you for help.  You are trying to hold in your giggles, lips pressed tight together.  When he looks at you, you exhale, waving at Jisung to back down for a second.  He ducks behind the curtain again, giggling to himself like the menace he is. 
Fortunately, Felix is easy to distract.  All it takes is opening your legs for his all his attention to zero in there.  He swallows again. 
“Sounds like we’ve been teasing you too long,” you say, your voice drawing his eyes back up to your face.  You smile and beckon him forward.  “Come on.  Let me make it up to you.” 
He looks like he is going to deflect politely, either because he is a faerie or because he is Felix, but then you grab his robe and yank him closer.  He stumbles up to you, his fingers fluttering at his sides and his shoulders still tense.  You take one of his hands and place it on the side of your face, soothing him with another gentle smile as you unknot his robe.
He is already very hard and this seems to fluster him, but he points to the curtain and sputters, “He’s – touching—“ 
“Fuck yeah I am,” Jisung says. 
“Jisung, shh,” you say, trying not to giggle again.  “And slow down.  You’re always so impatient.” 
“Am not,” Jisung says, but you can see him lean back, folding his hands behind his head. 
You look up at Felix, holding his gaze the way you did when you sucked his fingers.  You like the way he twitches and breathes harder, the way his eyes flash, the way his jaw clenches.  His thumb curls under your jaw when your mouth slides over him.  You can’t help but moan when his whole face contorts with more natural emotion than you have ever seen from him.  His breath stutters and stops and starts, his sounds so low and guttural that you feel them inside you. 
“Oh, fuck, dude,” Jisung says, rasping.  You pull back just a little, drooling and stroking with your hand, and glancing at Jisung out of the corner of your eye.  He lifts his hips and squeezes himself over his pants.  “We were fucking torturing you, holy fuck.”   
“Mmmmrrgh,” is the approximate sound Felix makes.  His eyes are partially-lidded, his expression one of immense concentration.  He pulls your face back to him with a flick of his wrist.  Appetent and quite demanding, he leads your mouth back onto him and holds you in place to shallowly and gently fuck your mouth.  He makes a pleased sound, one of deep relief, his head lolling back and the tension leaving his shoulders.   
You let him set the pace, matching the animal instinct that overcomes him.  He stops himself when he’s close, breathing hard and stepping back.  You want to ask if he is okay, but you have to flex your jaw and your voice is momentarily shot.  Before you can find that voice, he turns to the curtain and says, “Show me what you did earlier.  I want – I want to do that too.” 
There is a quiet moment, Jisung maybe surprised at the sudden attention, but then the curtain parts and Jisung steps all the way through.  He has unbuttoned his shirt to the navel, his partially unzipped pants doing nothing to hide the bulge behind his fly.  The sight of him sets off more sparks, especially when he winks at you with all his cheeky wantonness.
Felix gives Jisung a once-over too, pushing a hand through his hair and steadying his breathing.  His features look sharper than ever, darkened with a determined resolve.  He says nothing when Jisung sweeps behind him.  Jisung wiggles his eyebrows at you while he gathers Felix’s robe and slides it off his shoulders. 
“She likes your freckles,” Jisung offers by way of explanation, smooching Felix’s freckled shoulder with a playful little mwah. 
Felix tilts his head and looks at you.  “Really?” he asks.  “I can’t fully scrub them off the glamour. I think it’s somehow your fault.”  This is aimed at Jisung.
“Everything’s my fault!” Jisung says with a great deal of pride. 
“Why would you want to get rid of them?” you blurt, showing just as much as horror as you did when meeting the cannibal faerie.   Felix without his freckles is equally abhorrent.
Felix looks at you, thoughtfully.  Firelight is flickering over the room but you do not think it is a trick of shadow when his freckles seem to darken everywhere. 
“Aw,” Jisung says.  “He’s flirting.” 
Felix looks at him with a certain degree of exasperation.  “Show me what I asked,” he says. 
“Oh, wow, okay, geez, pushy,” Jisung says, circling so he standing beside Felix.  Felix drops the rest of the robe, evidently not the slightest bit shy to be standing there naked.  Now your gaze is the roving one, jumping between them, darting upward when Jisung cups Felix’s face and turns it to him. 
“You need to turn her on first, man,” Jisung says, swaying to the playful rhythm of his own voice.  Felix follows, but his eyes narrow into judgemental slits.  Jisung seems unbothered by this, standing still, tucking some hair behind Felix’s ear.  “C’mooon,” he says, with an impatient little shoulder wiggle and a laugh.  “She likes you… she likes me… as they say… badda bing badda boom…”
“I don’t think they say that during sex,” Felix says, frowning. 
“He’s right,” you say, giggling. 
Jisung sighs and looks at you.  “No audience participation,” he says, miming a zip across his lips.  “Just sit there and look pretty, baby.  We’ll get to you.” 
Felix looks at you.  Jisung leans close to whisper in his ear.  You try to decipher what he is saying based on Felix, but all Felix does is furrow his eyebrows then look sideways at Jisung.  There is a moment of quiet, then they smile at the same time.
Felix delicately cups Jisung’s chin.
The last time you caught them kissing, it spurred only jealousy.  But that was different.  That was your childish reaction to exclusion, your own anxieties speaking over everything else.  This time, you are not outside of their connection.  You even swear you can feel the faintest tingling on your own lips when they gently come together in a feather-light kiss.   
Their hands trace similar paths, Felix’s slipping into Jisung’s pants and Jisung touching him back.  The kiss deepens until their tongues touch, then Jisung giggles while Felix grins.  They look at you at the same time.
“Go,” Jisung says, nudging Felix forward. 
They let go of each other and Felix climbs up on the bed, guiding you backwards until your head is on a pillow.  Long tendrils of blonde hair brush your cheeks. He lays over you and kisses you, pressing your head into the cushion.  Even lost in his kiss, you can sense Jisung with a fuzzy awareness.  You recognize the familiar touch of his palm, his hand gliding up your inner thigh.  Felix makes room, joining Jisung at your thighs.  You twitch with an instinctive little jerk, pushing yourself up on your elbows to look at them.  Jisung puts a finger over his lips and shushes you, smiling. 
“We got it, we got it…” he says.  He cups the back of Felix’s head and pushes his head down to your pussy. 
Felix glances up at you, then him, then down.  His eyes close and he sticks out his tongue, his expression one of the sweetest pleasure when he puts his mouth on you.   What he lacks in skill, he compensates with eagerness, messily diving in with an open mouth, licking and kissing and making a mess of himself.  Jisung threads his fingers into his hair and tugs, laughing a little. 
“Easy, easy,” he says.  He and Felix look at each other as Jisung lowers his own face.  When he puts his expert mouth on you, your head falls back, thighs parting further.  You throw your arms over your head and dig your fingers into the cushions.  You chase the rhythm of his tongue, looking down when it stops, when Felix replaces him. 
“See, look at her,” Jisung says.  Felix looks up at you.  “Just like that.” 
Then Jisung joins him.  They torturously alternate whose mouth is on you.  Jisung dives at Felix, licking across his wet lips and kissing him before returning to you.  You can hardly tell one mouth from the next, gasping under two tongues as they stroke you and each other, matching blonde heads bobbing in perfect coordination between your thighs.  It is inhumanly perfect, so harmonious that it almost agonizing.  This is how mortals lose their minds here, you think.
Eventually you are so wound up that you can’t help but cry out. 
“Oh noo,” Jisung says, very unrepentant as lays beside you.  “I think we were teasing her… That’s so mean of us, isn’t it, baby?  Huh?”  He pinches your face in his hand, cooing at you while you playfully glare.  He giggles and kisses you, your own wet desire smeared across his lips.  “You’re so wet, baby,” he says, sliding his hand down your body and over your pussy, easing his fingers through the wetness there.  When you whimper, he whimpers back in faux sympathy, pouting and nodding.  “I know, poor baby,” he says, curling his fingers inside you.
Felix’s eyes light up, watching.  He props himself up on one hand and touches you with the other.  You make a sound against Jisung’s mouth, a breathy moan as Felix slides his fingers in too.  It’s thick, that many fingers at once and so suddenly.  Your thighs jerk and you whine into Jisung’s mouth.  You see stars when you close your eyes, their fingers moving at the same time inside you.  They share a heartbeat, a rhythm, not faulting in the slightest.
For a moment, you just lay there and dizzily take it, stretched around their fingers, wet and silky hot and so turned on that you feel like you’re floating. 
“Jisung,” Felix says in his rough, deep voice.
“I know,” Jisung replies, just as hoarse.    
Their fingers leave you and Jisung grabs your throat with that same hand, slick fingers nudging your chin to look at him.  Your breath catches and you think Felix’s breath catches too. 
“That’s my girl,” Jisung says, reaching down at the same Felix reaches up, a hand on each breast, teasing the pebbled peaks.  You squirm and Jisung returns his hand to your throat, smiling at you so innocently, scrunching up his eyes with delight.  “Good girl,” he says, squeezing.  Felix gasps then moans, sucking kisses wherever his mouth lazily roams.  Jisung places those same hot kisses on your neck, each kiss landing one after the other, lighting every nerve.  Teeth and tongue lave at your skin, no doubt bruising it with each little love bite. 
“That’s it,” Jisung says, and you really start to think your human boyfriend is made of more magic than autumnal flurries.  His dark eyes sparkle in the light, his mischievous smirk lighting up his handsome face.  He is so giggly and sweet despite the dastardly torture of his hands and mouth. 
You find yourself sinking into the sensations, eyes closed, body running on instinct. 
“Felix,” Jisung says.  His hand leaves your throat, sliding down your body.  You realize he is spreading your pussy lips again, teasing as Felix pushes inside you.  It is easy now that you have taken so many fingers, but the knowledge of what is happening, of who is fucking you, makes your breath stutter and eyes open. 
“Ohh,” is the only sound you can make, watery eyes on where Felix is moving slowly in and out of you.  His brow is furrowed again, that look of concentration, then he groans and all but sprawls on top of you, fucking you with messy abandon.   Jisung thumps his head heavily onto the cushion, panting heavily, as if he was fucking you. 
“Felix, you gotta—”  Jisung says, his own face twisted up with a tortured sort of pleasure.   Felix does not listen to him, still rocking his hips with a frantic unevenness.  It feels good and crazy and wild, your head lolling to the side, a hum in your throat. 
Jisung finds the resolve to push himself up, groaning with the effort.  You watch him roughly manhandle Felix, yanking his head up to get him to concentrate.  Felix’s eyes flash gold then go dark.  His mouth is hanging open and his cheeks are flushed.  He never stops moving. 
“And you said I was impatient,” Jisung murmurs, grabbing Felix’s hips and evening out his rhythm.  You suppose it stands to reason that if Jisung is the most pussy-drunk man you have ever known, than Felix would be too.  Except Felix actually is magic, and everything about Jisung seems to multiply in Felix.  He looks completely overcome.  Then Jisung suddenly asks, “Good tears or bad?”
“Good,” Felix rasps. 
“So you wanna keep going?”
“Ye-es,” Felix hiccups, then suddenly starts crying, all the messy human-ness mixing with his confusing faerie-ness, coming together in an explosive physical and emotional mania that has him burying his face in your neck and fucking you so deep and hard that your own sniffles start. 
“Yes,” you say at the same time as him, wrapping your arms around his neck.  Jisung touches your hand, his other still guiding Felix’s hips.  Felix moans in your throat then marginally turns his head. 
“Jisung,” he says.  “I can’t—unless you—”      
Jisung very unceremoniously shoves a hand down his pants, then looks up at you and smiles. 
“Okay,” Jisung says.  He moves and Felix sinks back inside you, moaning deeply, clutching you possessively.  You hold him back as fiercely, blinking up at Jisung when kneels near your face.  “Come on, baby,” Jisung says, his thumb tugging at your bottom lip. 
“Yes,” Felix says, nodding at him and at you. 
You open your mouth, nodding at Jisung.  His pants get tossed somewhere and he removes his shirt at the same time his dick pushes past your lips.  They really do fuck with an extraordinary identicalness, perfectly matched without a word.  It is easy to fall into their rhythm, not even straining.  You feel like you were born to be here, between them, sharing them, sharing yourself with them. 
They come at the same time, Felix with his cheek pressed to yours, Jisung with his head thrown back.  They lay down on either side of you, flopping back at the same time. Felix has a completely dazed look on his face, his breath stuttering when you tuck some of his sweaty hair back.  He looks at you like he is seeing you for the first time all over again. 
All three of you exhale at once.  The resulting giggle comes in three-way unison too. 
“Wow,” Felix finally says.  “It’s much more fun like this.”
“Hell yeah,” Jisung says, holding out his fist for a bump.  You swat it down before Felix can return it.  Jisung just laughs, snuggling up to you. 
Felix also rolls onto his side. He tucks one hand under his head and touches your face with the other.  You and Jisung both look at him, his faraway stare, the way a small smile unfurls on his face.
“You’re mine now,” he says.  “Forever.  Yeah?”  It’s posed like a question but evidently it is already fact to him, or he could not say it. 
“Forever and ever,” Jisung says easily, stretching out on the royal bedsheets like he has always belonged there. 
Felix looks at you for an answer too, still smiling.  You are not as easy as Jisung, but you try hard not to overthink. 
But you remember so many stories of humans wandering in the faerie world, never seen or heard from again, the tales of their disappearances ranging from beautiful to horrifying.  You think it would be impudent to think yourself different or better than them.  They thought they were safe too. 
The question tumbles past your lips before you can think twice: 
“Your true name,” you say.  “Would you still give it to me if I asked?” 
He clearly does not expect the question.  He blinks quickly, then his gaze darts to the side.  You look there to see Jisung nodding off, already half-asleep on your shoulder.  Felix is not sleeping.  You look at him, wondering still about the sometimes contradictory depth of their connection. 
“Aren’t you tired too?” you ask. 
“A little,” he says. 
You realize he didn’t answer your other question and you open your mouth to ask again.  He kisses you, cupping your face, making a happy sound when you kiss him back.  Jisung makes his own little happy sound, sighing on your shoulder. 
“I love you,” Felix says, speaking soft and low against your lips.  He strokes the side of your face.  “I want you to stay with me forever.” 
“You’d really tell me your true name?” you ask. 
“I’d do anything for you,” he says.  “I love you.” 
“I love you too, Felix,” you say, about to say more when he kisses you again.  He smiles so big and bright, it crinkles the corner of his eyes.  
“You do,” he says.  “That’s the truth.  You love me like you love him.” 
“It’s the same but different,” you say.   “Like how you love both me and Jisung.”
He is still smiling.  He kisses the corner of your mouth sweetly.  “The same but different,” he says.  “Yes.  I understand.” 
He draws you into his arms and kisses the crown of your head, sighing a happy sigh.  Jisung curls up behind you, already fast asleep while Felix murmurs sweet love confessions at you until you fall asleep too, nestled tightly and safely in his arms.
2K notes · View notes
wannab-urs · 10 months
Text
The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 11
Hi friends!!
I've really outdone myself this week, folks. I read TWENTY SEVEN new fics (including three very long series) + a bunch of updates to WIPs I was already reading. That being said, I'm gonna sort these by character for you because it's a lot to scroll through.
If you're new here, these are all the fics I read this week (except series updates and unnamed drabbles) and my unhinged/unedited ramblings about them :)
You can find the full spreadsheet here, and you're always welcome to tag me in your fics <3
Fic recs below the Pedro <3
Tumblr media
Din Djarin
Wherever You Stray, I Follow a one shot by @beskarandblasters
This is one of those fics that makes me genuinely pissed I'm not living in the Star Wars universe. Why can't I run away from an arranged marriage with my bodyguard who just so happens to be a very very handsome man in a suit of pure beskar? It's not fair.
Beskar Doll a series by @justagalwhowrites
Okay so I read 40+ chapters of this in TWO days. The story is so engaging?! Also we all know I love me some angst and the angst in this is so well done. It's believable, it's painful, it's excellent. I'm always hype for reader characters/FMC/OFC that are strong and capable (not that I have an issue with the damsel in distress fics either but...) I am obsessed with the reader/MC in this. She's so fucking cool and strong and AGH!!! There was no part of this where I was bored or wondered why the story went in a certain direction - it always made sense to me and I was completely engaged the whole time. That's pretty impressive for a long ass fic like this. I usually fall off after 20 or so chapters. Everyone should read this, tbh.
Significant a one shot by @softlyspector
AHHHH okay first of all, you gotta read the drabble first so you get a feel for the relationship. This was SO CUTE. I support every choice made in this fic. I don't want to spoil anything, but just know that I love the characterization and dialogue in this. I love how quickly I got sucked into the story and believed their relationship despite it only being 5k. I could kind of imagine a full series around this. It was sooooo cute UGH. (Look at me reading fluff, what's goin on).
Fix it a one shot by @jksprincess10
I love how you've barely written Din before (1 fic) and then you produce this. It's so fucking good. We get helmetless!Din without a fuckton of buildup and like I get that it's not the most realistic, but sometimes you just want Din Djarin to eat you out without 20 chapters of wondering what his face looks like or having to be in the dark. And the tattoos... nad... you gave him tattoos.... I'll pass out and die on the floor right now.
a little attention a one shot by @luckbealincoln
Din has a rough day (haha get it?) and reader knows just how to get rid of his pissy ass attitude. I love love love dom!Din so fucking much this is so hot PLEASE
Best Kept Secret a series by @lincolndjarin
Bodyguard!Din and princess!reader!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this trope so much. I expected the fic to be a little kitschy because I mean... it's a kitschy trope. And I love kitschy shit that's why I clicked on it... but guys! guys!! it's not!! This fic has so much depth, so much emotion. The little glimpses of Din's backstory, the depictions of mental health, that bastard Kodo, my beloved Elaine and Lysa... just... there's so much in this story that I adore. It feels fresh and interesting and it's heart wrenching and wonderful and sexy and....yeah read this one thanks.
Who do you belong to? a one shot by @beskarandblasters
HOT!!!!!!! Possessive!Din is so fucking hot. The smut is.... oh my lordt it is good.
Joel Miller
i can be your pretty girl a series by @walkintotheriveranddisappear
A little innocent reader/manipulative dbf!joel never hurt anyone, right? I fucking love this. And the subsequent part is... even better (worse? more depraved?).
Epiphany a one shot by @jksprincess10
This story hurts. It hits you right in the chest and takes the breath out of you. Worth the pain though. It's gorgeously done <3
I'll Do Anything a one shot by @beskarandblasters
I feel like I've seen some fics that are this trope but in reverse, where Joel is the one making reader pay with sex. I think I like this better tbh. Desperate, needy Joel is everything.
Seven a one shot by @proxima-writes
Starting with the dream was so fucking good! And I really like the choice to not make it a 1 to 1 direct recreation of the actual scene with Sarah. I loved the early interactions with Joel and reader so much. The library scene AHHH!!!! And then fast forwarding through the reallly good smut, the dream that's not a nightmare???? Are you kidding me??? genius. Reader still believing in beautiful things and making joel believe he deserves good things and oh my god just shoot me now this was adorable.
sensational a series by @sinsofsummers
I guess I was on an innocent reader kick this week idk. I love the buildup of the reader's background in this though. She feels like a real person and not just a vessel for actual reader to pretend we're virgins and Joel Miller is teaching us about sex. Like she is that, don't get me wrong, and I love it. But!! She's a real person, with feelings and a backstory and I am a slut for a good story with my smut. Okay and also Joel doesn't feel like a creep in this, which is a little hard to achieve given the premise. I really liked this and I hope we get more. (there's a part two, but like I'd read 10 parts of this are you kidding)
Desire a series by @toxic-seduction
Good ol' depraved smut. I haven't read one like this before!! And the follow up is just as yummy. Highly recommend if you're feeling a little freaky :)
Gimme What I Want a series by @atticrissfinch
Oh my god oh my GOD oh my god. This was so fucking hot?! And the little moments of humor too?! I love the format for this so much. And the attention to detail with the timestamps and everything!! And then part two... I was not prepared. God it was so hot. (and the lil bonus of Joel being awkward and adorable ughhhh). The blend of sexy and funny and a tad bit depraved and a tiny bit sweet... perfect.
Lavender a series by @justagalwhowrites
Hey, it's not nice to break people's hearts repeatedly. There are barely even words to describe this fic. The nanny trope to start out with, meaning that you get really really attached to Sarah and pre-outbreak Joel and you build up all these hopes and dreams for the two of them.... and then... (trying not to spoil things) Joel being a moron and then the outbreak of course and... I always want to know what happens in that 20 years between outbreak and Joel meeting Ellie. I really adore the way that canon content was blended with original content in a way that seems to make Joel's actions make even more sense than they do in canon. Doc is such a cool character also??? And oh my GOD Andrew and Jess... I seriously cannot explain how fucking perfect this is. I could read it forever. Like I hope you carry it on through season two when that comes out, it's that good. I would read 500 chapters of this.
Mine a one shot by @the-scandalorian
How does one write Porn Without Plot, anal at that, and make it profound? Apparently this way. How dare you make me feel anything but a little ashamed and lot horny about an ANAL FIC?! Are you a fucking WIZARD?! Anyway yeah y'all should read this one.
Stay here, honey a one shot by @swiftispunk
This is just porn but I was having that kind of day. dbf!joel + really high chance of getting caught PWP. Wonderful <3
What I need a one shot by @swiftispunk
knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink knife kink. Oh and also a lil bit of sweetness at the end. Yes please
Your Summer Dream a series by @swiftispunk
Look I've only read chapter one and I'm already in love. The set up is so good. Joel seems so sweet and charming and cool and HOT?!? Reader is about to win the rebound Jackpot for real. I'd be jealous if I wasn't,,,, ya know,,, the reader.
exile a one shot by @tieronecrush
Oh hey cool, thanks for hurting my feelings... just kidding you know I love angst. This was so gorgeously written. I love all the descriptions a lot. And also... I read a lot of joel/reader breakups where she just immediately crumbles and takes him back because like wouldn't we all? But I really like how you had her hesitate even though she's clearly miserable. At least one of us is emotionally mature enough to not dive headfirst back into a toxic relationship (couldn't be me).
Javier Peña
a pile of cards a one shot by @undercoverpena
There are very few things I love more than fluffy, soft!Javi Peña. That man has the capacity to be so sweet and caring and kind and loving and AHHHHHH. I really love the way this story is told. A story in birthdays for your birthday celebration... that's so fucking creative I love it. I just... I can't say enough about this fic. Read it!!
not here, not now a one shot by @gracieispunk
Reader gets in trouble with Javi and handcuffs are involved... I feel like I do not need to say more.
(Re)union with Elvis a one shot by @tieronecrush
I've read a lot of these lil accidental marriage fics, and this is one of my favorites so far. I loved getting to see them meet up sober, go through the whole night, experience the silly wedding, the mind blowing sex, and then the wakeup scene is actually so cute? I rarely see one of these without a defcon level freak out about the fact they got married. Imagine telling this story at your wedding? Like oh yeah we've actually already divorced each other and it was before we ever started dating.
Pero Tovar
Xìngjiāo a one shot by @absurdthirst
I finally watched The Great Wall and my literal first move after finishing it was to see if absurdthirst wrote a sex pollen fic for Tovar and she FUCKING DID!!!!! Gods I love sex pollen.
Pero Tovar and his Guerrera a series by @prolix-yuy
This lil loose fit series makes my heart sing. Pero being an idiot? Reader being a badass? Silly arrangement to be able to stay near each other without having to admit feelings? Finally admitting feelings??? Wrap me up in this story and bury me in it, thanks.
Dave York
Stormy Secrets a one shot by @absurdthirst
Kinda randomly got in the mood to read something fucked up and stumbled on this lovely Dave York fic. Murder daddy didn't let me down, this was EXCELLENT. Pretty much checked every box on the list of what I would kill to have Dave York do to me.
Just Your Average Suburban Couple a one shot by @absurdthirst
What if Murder Daddy had a Murder Wife? I know it's a hot take, but I love the fake dating trope so this is so fun for me. Add in badass reader, infidelity, murder, Dave York being soft (in his own way), domestic Dave, and possessive/jealous!Dave? Oh and of course delicious smut. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
---------
Do y'all prefer it sorted like this or was it fine the old way? This takes a little extra work, but it's not that bad.
-------
Happy Reading!
197 notes · View notes
echovelvet278 · 5 months
Text
The Haunted Lavatory
Tumblr media
In the dimly lit confines of a mid-flight lavatory, where the hum of the airplane's engines drowned out the soft sounds of movement, a lingering presence loomed. The spirit of Billy, a once-overweight, middle-aged man with a penchant for life's pleasures, found himself confined to the cramped space that had become his spectral prison.
Billy's untimely demise unfolded in the most unexpected of places—an airplane restroom suspended in the vast expanse of the sky. The cause of his demise was rooted in the irony of life's unpredictability, as a sudden heart attack claimed him in the midst of a journey to rediscover himself. The very lavatory that held the remnants of his final moments became the epicenter of his supernatural existence.
Now, as a ghost tethered to the airborne vessel, Billy faced the peculiar conundrum of being unable to move beyond the lavatory's cramped quarters. Trapped, he yearned for the world he once knew. Yet, in the solitude of his spectral existence, a newfound ability emerged—a power that allowed him to possess those who ventured into the lavatory, if only for a brief encounter.
Drawn to the allure of the living, particularly the hot men who unknowingly became vessels for his spectral desires, Billy's ghostly escapades took flight. 
As time ticked away on that ongoing flight, Billy was getting antsy. The lavatory door kept swinging open, but it was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on him. Old folks, some ladies, and even kids were the only ones making pit stops. Where were all the hot guys when you needed them?
Billy floated there, ghostly vibes and all, waiting for his chance to have a bit of supernatural fun. Hours went by, and he was almost ready to give up when, bam, the door opened again, and in walks this young stud. Tall, ripped, and completely clueless about the ghostly party about to go down.
Billy hovered around as the young stud walked into the lavatory. The dude unzipped and started taking a leak, completely clueless that he had a ghostly audience. Billy couldn't help but drool at the sight of the guy's huge cock. 
Once he finished, Billy made his move. *Whoosh!* He flew toward the bathroom mirror, diving into the glass. "Pssst," Billy whispered, playing mind games with the poor guy. The stud, finishing up at the urinal, glanced at the mirror, looking all confused about the weird sounds. Still baffled, the stud couldn't figure out where the heck the noise was coming from.
Billy cranked it up a notch. "Pssst," he said again, this time right by the guy's ear. The stud turned toward the mirror, still clueless.
Out of nowhere, Billy's head popped out of the mirror. The stud's eyes went wide, and before he could even scream, Billy, as fast as a ninja, slid into the guy's mouth. The bathroom turned into a freaky dance floor as the dude's body started wiggling and jiggling all over the place.
Outside the lavatory, the plane's engine was roaring, covering up any weird sounds. It took a bit of wrestling, but Billy finally got the hang of controlling the stud's body. The guy's limbs stopped twitching, and a sly grin spread across his face—Billy's mischievous mark.
Tumblr media
"Oh hell yeah baby", Billy moaned. He groped his chest and fondled his bulge, before unzipping his shorts and pulling out his new dick. He unbuttoned his shirt after as well. "Man this guy's a cutie haha", he laughed. 
Before he started jerking his dick, he wanted to give this guy a little surprise for later. Billy took out his phone and hit record, and immediately started stroking his cock with a grin. It was gonna be a good flight hehe.
NSFW Video
97 notes · View notes
painted-bees · 11 days
Note
I plan on visiting Cortes Island next week. Have you ever been (I assume you have) and if so are there any places you'd recommend visiting? Also any Hi-Note specific places or does it just vaguely take place somewhere on the island (or a specific but private location)?
Oh my god, if it's not weird to ask, could you take some photos of the place for me? No people, just the area...I haven't been there in literal decades and I have wondered how it has developed.
I definitely recommend combing smelt bay at low tide. There is so much sea life in the tidal pools and under the rocks! And I dunno if you're still allowed to take oysters off the beach for personal consuption[dinner] but if you are, take advantage of it! If you see a conspicuous boulder there that is dry during low tide but half deep in water during the high tide, I use to sit on it for hours and watch the tide come in. I gave that little past time to Margie, as well.
There used to be a house on the bay that sold ice cream from the porch, with a big sign that advertised it was open from sunrise to sunset. I really doubt it's there anymore--the couple that lived there were already old when I was there.
Hague Lake is a really lovely fresh water beach to swim during the hot days, there's a big rock/teeny island in the center of it that you can jump off of. Whaletown and Squirrel Cove will cover your basic amenities/shopping needs haha
There use to be a castle...that a guy built and allowed folks to walk through...I wonder if that's still a thing. There were also frequently held little fairs and festivals hosted by locals and such that were fun to attend, with good food. The hiking trails are beautiful also!!
Again, I don't know how much has changed! Please tell me how it is..!
In the story, the Hi-Note Trio lives near smelt bay on a little road called Hayes Road...The side of the road was lined with blackberry shrubs that we use to pick berries from and make jam with. Smelt Bay, within walking distance from Hayes road, is where Margie gets swept out to sea and is the beach where she meets cortes on the stony shore. Potlatch Road is where Raf had found her shambling back home in a briney, sea-battered daze...
The grassy area by smelt bay is where Raf, Margie, and Cortes would often go to sit down and maybe jam a little if the weather permited.
my image of it is a very lush, quiet island, with very, sparse traffic, hugely disconnected from the mainland. It used to be safe to hitchhike around the island, but I could not recommend it now without knowing its current character.
Oh, I am really happy haha I hope you like it there!! I hope it is not too different from what I describe--but I wouldn't begrudge it if it is. All things change.
42 notes · View notes
sugar-plum-writer · 3 months
Text
OTOME-GAME!!!! JJK!
Alright folks! Listen up! the 2 new otome games has taken too much of my obsession and seeing the hearts on my post on "Jjk characters as otome-game, with routes etc~", I have decided to MAKE IT!!!
It's nothing except me being obsessive brain rot (18+ Minors DNI)
Surprise!!!!!!
Sooooo Yeah!! within some time (1-2 days) I will be posting it as well
I CANNOT GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN <3
AHHHHHH
Yan!Headpriest Geto/Assassin!! [Corrupting you, he is no saint and no savior; you'll innocently be feeding the orphans. Feeling a gaze you turn around seeing him and wave brightly not knowing he was imagining railing you and making you have his kid]
ObsessiveMagician/Administrator!Gojo
[Locking you up without you even giving you a single doubt you are locked up, popping up coincidently wherever you are; his job was just to make sure you reach the end but it turned into obsession and he entered the game himself to be with you, to love you and fuck you until you are nothing but a mess- only for him to see, for his entertainment tying you up making you beg him]
GrandDuke!Yan!Toji!!Underworld![Loving you, protecting you like crazy, the only place where he can feel peace; he is 200% railing you no matter where you are even behind the curtains of a ball ]
Emperor!Fighter!Yan!Sukuna!! [HOT 300%DOM, Losing you in his first life as you gave up your life for his sake; turning back time to be with you; loving you like never before; being with you every second; not him buying all lingerie he could get his hands on for your pleasure though it's mostly for his pleasure]
NANAMI HIDDEN ROUTE~ [secret]
OMG MAYBE EVEN A BUTLER AU with them allll!!!!
✨💀 P.S I think just 3 hrs of sleep has ruined my sanity! I HATE MY DEAN he gives 0 holidays TvT *sobs* + my insomnia making me never sleep and be either irritated or full of energy ✨💀
I will probably put Gojo, Geto, Sukuna, Toji, and Nanami for now later will add more if you all want~
[one by one! for more fun~]
LMAO!
If you guys my followers and random people wanna be tagged just tell me~ and I will tag you all!!! when I post it or just follow me haha! <3
IT'S OUTTTT!!!! THE LINK
57 notes · View notes
cosmicrhetoric · 2 years
Note
can i ask what the deal is with monstrous regiment?
like the deal as in. the whole deal? its is probably my favorite book full stop (not even fave fantasy, fave pratchett, whatever like full stop) so its hard to condense my thoughts lmao. ok monstrous regiment is based on the english folk song sweet polly oliver. the basic plot is that our main character polly dresses as a boy and joins the army (under the name oliver) to look for her brother, who has been missing in action. if you've heard of the book b/c of the online presence you probably have heard about the gender stuff. there is a Lot of it to be fair (canon gay characters, at least one canon trans character, whatever tf was happening with maladict), but it's shares screentime with the other two main themes, war and organized religion gone bad. it's discworld so its funny and satire and heart but it's a horror show. i genuinely think the book lapses into gothic tradition at times however i cannot in good conscious reveal more of the plot cause i swear reading this book feels like tripping down the stairs at times.
where i think the book succeeds where a lot of 'girl cuts her hair and goes to war' stories doesnt is that is like. it doesnt feel like a Girl Power book. i have nothing against Girl Power books (i was in middle school in 2009) but in monstrous regiment the point isn't "a girl can be as strong as boys!" the point is that when you are stuck under a serious model of oppression and your country is lying to you and your god seems to hate you and everyone you know is either at war, starving, or both. how are you going to survive?
also would like to mention that someone did upload the entire audiobook to spotify so. stephen briggs does a really good igor voice.....get it while its hot
edit: not on spotify anymore haha but the way audiobook uploaders are on there if u keep searching for it it'll show up eventually
815 notes · View notes
fieldsofbats · 8 months
Text
simon riley x waitstaff!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
thank you to those who liked my first post <3 i am still v new to this and haven't quite figured out my preferred writing style so all feedback is welcome (be respectful tho).
part one
part two
right so at ur work it’s real common to have military folk there bc it is a military town, close to base, training facilities etc. 
first visit was just to the bar section of the place. price thought it would be good for moral to go out and have some chill team time, watch a football match and just hang out.
soap ordered some food and you brought it over to them. simon did not notice you bc he was watching the game, but then he got a whiff of soaps food and decided to grab something.
cue you coming back over with your sweet smile and handing him his food and cutlery before wandering back to the resturant bc its a quiet night.
mans is hooked.
second time ghost comes in it’s at night again but the restaurant is slammed bc it’s family week, everyone is getting dinner the night before they gotta head home. 
lbr, simon didnt think about you until soap wanted to go out again: "where are we goin'" "that place with the pretty server", knows exactly where they are going.
but still, your smile and warmth towards everyone is so kind and customer service is through the roof. yet he watches as you race around in and out of the kitchen with crazy ease and grace
like dude is impressed at you staying calm and steady despite how fuckin busy it is and people with their insane requests and demands for food (inpatient pricks)
he wants to stick around and watch u but it has become way to loud and busy for him so he bows out and goes back to his quiet room
simon strikes me as someone that likes to have as much regularity in his life as possible, why do you think 141 are literally the only people he has relationships with???
but mainly forms this routine bc he gets to see you, and he knows you will be there bc you’ve old him its your regular shift.
"you basically live here."
"haha no, i just make sure i get the shift with you."
the restaurant would make the booking for him in advance cause he never does but you know he is coming anyway so have it under ‘y/n's man’ (hasn’t told you his name) and ur coworkers think its super cute and funny
but he would make the effort to come in when it is quiet and has the chance to actually listen to you talk and see you interact with others on a more relaxed level BUT he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you rushing around tables and weaving between guests who haven’t sat down
ngl he would find it hot watching you manage several orders and memorising different peoples requirements, all while keeping that sweet smile and polite manner
you can carry three plates?! this man is sweating under the mask
he doesn’t do a lot of the talking, only when you really prompt him or he is feeling a bit more extroverted that day. Doesn’t wanna talk about military shit with you but that’s all he does so he prefers to listen to you.
knows all the drama and gossip of the restaurant. glad to hear you are not dating the guy behind the bar and that you also don't like the receptionist because he perfume is to strong.
he will hang around and wait for it to die down to be able to talk to you. if it gets too loud for him he might just try and see you at the till as he leaves but has pushed through once or twice to talk to you.
something about you makes him feel more real, that he isn’t just some shell of a man, that he has a purpose. he likes that you treat him normally, the fresh slate you give him is like clean evening air.
ANYWAY it would take him ages to ask you out, like more than six/ seven months, and he would be so nervous (not to the point of stuttering or shaking bc this man is military he has been in worse situations, but his heart would be running a marathon and the self doubt would be just as loud)
but also protective ghost omgggg, he would be seething watching the old men be creepy and shit
knife and fork are down and he is up behind these men leering over them “excuse me, I just have a question about my meal.” just would say anything to get you out of that situation and back over to him. Or would just stand by the register staring down these men (this happens a lot more often than simon would like to admit)
always checks in when he is leaving to make sure he didn’t over step or make you uncomfortable by accident
137 notes · View notes
rmoonstoner · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
***
Poisoned Empanadas
***
Pairing:
Moon Knight (Jake Lockley) x Spider!fem!reader
Spider-Man 2099 (Miguel O'Hara) x Spider!fem!reader
***
18+
Warnings:
Violence, strong language, mentions of death, mentions of depression, sexual themes, volatile emotions, dats a big boi, warnings will change
***
Summary:
A new man comes prowling around, and you have a small misunderstanding.
***
Chapter 3 - Empanadas Chilenas - Chile
These are popular during the month of September when Fiestas Patrias occurs. During Easter, beef isn't used for religious reasons, and substitutions like eggs, seafood, and cheese are used. Common ingredients are beef (not during Easter), seafood, onions, hard boiled eggs, raisins, cheeses, and olives. Garlic, cumin, paprika, and pepper are great spices to accompany the filling. The pastry is made from white flour made of wheat.
***
Patrol tonight was going to suck. Gwen had cancelled at the last minute, because of a family crisis at home. Miles was home in bed, sicker than you'd ever seen him before. Peter was busy working on a paper and studying for finals for school, so that just left you, the one with no other obligations to keep you busy. You felt sorry for all of them.
You were up on a tall building as you surveyed your surroundings. It had been hours, and the city had been quiet for once. Nothing looked or sounded out of the ordinary for now. You were kind of sorta hoping something small might happen. Small enough so you weren't bored or really threatened.
Sure as shit, it was as if you had just manifested something to happen.
A scream alerted you to the south, and you darted off towards the noise. As you got closer, you heard metal trashcans banging together, a loud snarl, and what sounded like a fight. You got to the edge of the roof and looked down to see a man in a mask and a skin tight black and red suit. He was throwing a punch at a thug, only for the guy to pull out a knife and growl at him. The masked man leapt back and ducked as he was lunged at, then you heard the unmistakable sound of a web thwipping out and hitting skin.
You squinted and saw webs all over the guy, which threw you off. When you looked closer at the man, you saw he had a spider on his chest. This guy was a Spider-Folk? Why hadn't you ever seen him before? None of the others had ever mentioned him.
"I suggest you give it up, mi amigo."
You froze for a second, then hid behind a wall. That voice sounded exactly like Jake's voice, AND he was speaking Spanish! Your heart began to race wildly in your chest.
"Come on! Stop trying to stab me, you're embarrassing yourself." The man in the mask continued as you heard a punch, then another crash of trash cans. You heard him laugh, and it was almost the same, but distinctly different at the same time. Almost like he was enjoying this too much.
"Asshole! I'll fucking kill you, you Spider-Man rip off!"
"Haha, yeah right. I’ve heard that one before." You could hear the cockiness in his voice. It really sounded like Jake to you, and you needed another look, before you got angry about it.
Peeking over the ledge again, you made your suit darken a bit to blend in better with the shadows. You watched this man beat the snot out of the thug. Admittedly, you thought that was incredibly hot. Jake in a Spider-Folk outfit, smashing a guy's face in and covered in blood, and now he was tying him up. The guy was unconscious, up near the entrance of the alleyway.
"Alright. I know someone's up there. I can hear you breathing. And you smell like flowers." The masked man said as he looked directly up at you. You squeaked and immediately shrank flat to the ground.
"Are you seriously trying to hide after I just said- Oh forget it. I'm coming up there!" The man shouted up at you and you scrambled to your feet and backed away from the ledge.
Of all fucking nights to be alone, and this fucking happens!
"Hey there!" You suddenly heard his voice from behind you. You shrieked and scooted back again. You didn't even see or hear him come up.You always saw them coming, but not him.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" You gasped as he hopped down and stared at you. He was staying still, arms crossed as he chuckled at your little scare.
"Whoa, I am sorry. I won't hurt you. I've seen you in the news outlets around town. You're that Galaxy Spider, aren't you?" The man asked, and you squinted at him again.
Jake knew that information. Was he trying to play stupid with you? Was he trying to pretend you couldn't recognize him in that get up?
"Uh, yeah." You almost sounded snide about it, and he held his hands up in defence.
"Hey, I am not one of those weirdo fan boys, okay? I'm just some guy with spider powers. I'm trying to help out while I’m in town."
In town?
In.
Fucking.
Town!?
Had he been just hiding here in New York this whole god damned time, just watching you?
What the fuck?
"Cut the crap, Jake Lockley. I know it's you!" You suddenly snapped at him as you straightened up. You were pissed.
"Huh? That's not my name-"
"Bullshit, Lockley! How could you keep this—-" You were just barely under a yelling tone as you ripped off your mask, mostly just so he could see just how angry you were. You motioned quickly to his suit, hands going up and down in fast motions. He was shocked, staring at your eyes as you seethed with rage.
"—-This whole Spider-Persona a secret from me!? Like we've been dating for three fucking years, and you know I'm a Spider, and not once did it occur to you to tell me that you also happen to be a fucking Spider!?" By now you were shaking with anger, trying desperately not to activate your webbing with how hard you were clenching your fists. You wanted to punch him so bad.
"Okay, lady, I'm not who you think I am, okay? My name is not Jake Lockley. My name is Miguel O'Hara." The man that claimed his name was Miguel, slowly took his mask off.
That didn't help anything at all, because there was his face.
His stupid, perfect, fucking face, looking just like Jake's. You were so blinded by the hurt Jake had caused, you didn't believe this man, even if he looked younger, and kind of beefier. Okay, a lot beefier. And taller, too?
"See?" He tried to continue, but you pointed at him, sticking your finger right into the center of his chest.
"You look just like him!" You hissed and the man pinched the bridge of his nose and hissed back. His hair was shorter, a bit of a mess, and he had red eyes that almost seemed to glow.
"But I am not him."
"Same face. Same voice. You speak Spanish." You said as he rolled his eyes.
"Are his eyes red?" Miguel countered, and you dropped your finger and looked into his eyes. He was right. He had red eyes.
"Uh, no… They glow white sometimes… Never red, uh, unless he's been hitting the green, if ya know what I mean." You sheepishly replied, then remembered people could have contacts.
"But how do I know these aren't fancy contacts?"
"You don't, but I can assure you they aren't. It's part of my Spider powers, just like you can summon lights and stand on them." He replied and you huffed. Okay, point taken, but you were still not fully trusting this man yet.
"Let me see your left arm. Jake has a tattoo." You demanded, and Miguel got right to work on removing his glove and rolling up his sleeve. The first thing you noticed, was the weird looking watch he had. Jake preferred a different kind of watch and you never saw him remove it. Then you saw all the scars Miguel had. They all were in different places then the ones on Jake. Then you noticed the forearm, and there wasn't a tattoo of hieroglyphics there.
"See? I am not him." Miguel again protested to being your ex. That was when you noticed his hands. His nails specifically. They were fucking claws, and longer than yours! He noticed you looking, and he put his gloves back on fairly quickly.
"That's… That's crazy. I guess I owe you an apology…" You quietly replied while looking down.
"Oh course you owe him an apology!" A small feminine voice spoke up. Miguel covered his watch and turned away.
"Lyla, shh!"
"Lyla?" You were confused. Was that his handler?
"Uh, she's my personal AI assistant." Miguel explained after he turned off the watch light.
"Oh… Like Mr. Stark's Jarvis?"
"Uh, yes. Like Jarvis."
"Whoa… That's actually pretty cool. I am sorry, Miguel. It's just… Nevermind. I'm sorry." You said as you slumped against the wall to catch your breath and slow your heart rate down.
"Whoever this Jake guy is, I don't like him. He sounds like he messed you up good." Miguel said with a sour looking face.
"He… He did." You looked away and reached up to move the hood down and scratch at your neck where the fastener was.
Miguel looked down at his watch, and sighed. Lyla was glaring at him and motioning towards your general direction while mouthing, 'Do something.'
"Hey, uh… Wanna talk about it? This is a judgement free zone." He offered as he leaned against the wall and waited.
You glanced at him and then at your feet. Why not? He seemed nice enough to you.
"Sure, I guess." You huffed and crouched down to stretch your body, then sat on the cold concrete. Miguel got down and sat with his legs crossed, his hands resting on his remarkably large thighs.
"So, uh… Jake is my ex boyfriend. We were dating inconsistently for three years…"
"Inconsistently?"
"Yeah, well, about that… He disappeared a lot. Never told me where he went, or what he did. He would often show up covered in blood from stab wounds and gun shots. I would help him out, then the next morning he was all better, like nothing had happened the night before. He always refused to tell me what had happened and why he was healing so fast."
"That sounds a lot like a super powered vigilante hero to me."
"I know, right? So, anyway, he would get irritated with me every time I asked about it, break up with me, then leave for long periods of time. He would always come crawling back and expected to just walk right back into my life like he didn't just break my heart and run away." You huffed in frustration as you ran your hands through your hair.
You heard a low growl come from Miguel. When you looked up at him, he looked pissed. Both of his fists were clenched, his jaw tight, and his red eyes somehow brighter.
"What a shocking coward. Here you are, busting your ass off for this city to protect it, and there he is, being a selfish prick. He's clearly using you as a comfort door mat, without thinking about your feelings."
"That's how I feel." You whispered back as your voice cracked.
"Look, that's not healthy. You're out here doing your best, and you don't deserve to be walked all over like that. Where is this idiot?" He asked as he stood up and cracked his knuckles.
"He left to go to London. Said he had some undercover gig to do, and it was a long haul sting. Wouldn't tell me anything else, aside from the fact he gave me a mailbox address." You explained. Miguel squinted at you.
"That's cold. How long ago was this?"
"About four months now, I think. He did it on our anniversary, actually." At this point your eyes were slowly leaking. You were trying so hard not to sob.
"He did not! That's horrible… And he hasn't contacted you since?"
"Nope." You said with a small sniffle. Miguel leaned forward ever so slightly.
"Damn, girl. Forget about that guy. Live your life. You're too good to be tied down to such a loser like that." Miguel remarked. You looked up at him and smiled. It was weird, but he was nice and very supportive for just meeting him. He wasn't being a perv or a creep either.
Oh, but he did look like he wanted to beat Jake up. That was a very pleasant image to think about. Watching two hot look- a- likes kick each other's asses. You would be lying if you said you were rooting for Jake.
"Thank you. I wish Jake would have seen it that way. I'm still living like I was. Like I am waiting for him to drop in at any moment to fuck up my flow. Though, this is the longest he's been gone, so it's easier to believe he's not coming back, even when he said he was." You explained as you leaned back against the wall and sighed heavily. With a quick wipe of your arm, you removed the tears from your cheeks and eyes.
"Don't let him have that power over you. You're a treasured wonder of the world. You have adoring fans, and people look up to you. Any man that is with you , should cherish the time they get with you. He should be worshipping you."
"That's hard to do, I… I just miss him. He was always so good to me when he was around…"
"Well, the man isn't treating you right now, is he? He should have told you what his deal was, if he has powers, and what they are. He should have told you if he's a superhero, a vigilante, or whatever the shock he is. If he loved you, really loved you, he wouldn't have dumped you in the first place."
"I, uh, I guess?"
"No, not you guess. If he loved you, he would have been open about everything. Tell you what he was doing, who he really is, where he was going and for how long. It's not fair that he knew what you were doing, yet he wouldn't return the favor. He didn't trust you. A good relationship is based on trust, open communication, and consideration for all partners involved." He sounded passionate as he spoke. Passionate enough to stand up and start pacing as he made very valid points to you.
A soft shudder went through you and you pulled your knees up to your chest. His words hurt to hear, but he was right. It still made the tears spill forth. Miguel crouched down next to you and placed a hand to your shoulder as he cooed to you.
"Hey, it's alright. It's okay to cry. If it helps, I am gonna be in town for a while. If he comes back, I'll kick his shocking ass. It's not hard to miss a guy that apparently looks just like me." He seemed eager to kick Jake's ass for you, and he hadn't even known you for an hour yet.
But you didn't get the slang he was using. It sounded funny and weird to you, because you swore a lot. Like, so much, you had been a tabloid hit for your potty mouth.
"Why do you keep saying shocking, instead of fucking?" You asked, and he laughed nervously.
"Oh, I, uh… Where I come from, we use 'shock' in place of 'fuck'." He shrugged and rubbed his neck with a crooked smile. He smiled a lot differently than Jake. It was natural, not forced. That and the fangs he had were a dead giveaway that this wasn't Lockley.
In fact, now that you were no longer blinded with rage, you took a moment to actually look at this man. His cheekbones were slightly more pronounced, his face more defined and chiselled. He was all muscle, while Jake had a bit of padding in the middle. Miguel was taller, like a lot taller. You felt like he could block out the sun, while Jake could only block out the moon.
Then you noticed how much younger he was, or at least he appeared to be. He could have been older. You were a terrible judge of age, especially after finding out that Wong and Stephen weren't in their fifties like you thought they were. You thought America was in her twenties, but she was younger than Peter and Miles. You even made the mistake of thinking Scott was in his mid thirties, when he was older than Stephen.
Miguel noticed you staring at him, and you looked away once you realized it. After a moment, you looked back, seeing he was blushing and fiddling with his watch.
"And where do you come from?" You tilted your head up to look at him, waiting for an answer. He looked away and then back at you with a worried look.
"I, uh… You won't believe me…"
"Try me. You just showed me there's a guy out here that looks like my ex. I live in the Sanctum with wizards and other Spiders, and I have super powers."
"Shock, you're right. Well, uh… I am from the future of another universe." He carefully said and then winced. You could tell he was awaiting your disapproval.
"Oh… That actually makes so much sense!"
"It does? Wait, you believe me?" He was surprised and he visibly relaxed at your acceptance.
"Yeah, I sure do! Stephen said there was a cosmic anomaly and he couldn't find a reason as to why! That must have been you! When did you get here?" You asked as you shifted to lean forward.
"Um… About three weeks agooo-ooh!?" Miguel scooted back a bit, lost his balance, and landed on his ass. You giggled at his droopy grin.
"Aha! That's when he said the anomaly happened!" You reached out and helped him up.
He was heavier than Jake!
"Oh. That's probably me. There was an experiment I was conducting, and it sent me here. I've been working on getting back, but I need to find an adequate power source to get back-"
"I could ask Stephen for you!" You offered with excitement. Miguel groaned and shook his head.
"No, thank you. I would rather figure it out for myself. In fact, I would really prefer it if you didn't tell him about me."
"Well, I can’t just lie to the man if he asks. He has a third eye, and he's very good at reading people." You replied, which made him raise a brow.
"A what?"
"A magical third eye. It helps him see people's true intentions, whether or not they are lying to him, and sometimes, he uses it to read people's minds." You said and Miguel blinked a few times.
"Okay, I don't want to meet this guy then."
"Chances are, he already is aware of who you are, and where you are at this exact moment. He tracks me, Spider-Man, and the other Spiders every night to make sure we are all okay."
"Shock. You have a powerful wizard watching you? That's kind of… Well, kind of creepy if you ask me."
"I don't mind. If I am in trouble, he'll show up. He is like the collective Spider father figure around here. He cares about us."
"But what if, you know, you wanted 'privacy'?" He looked around and whispered, as if that would stop the doctor from hearing him if he was indeed watching.
"Oh, then he'd stop watching. He's not a pervert or anything. At least not that I know of." You laughed and gave a little snort. Miguel smiled and sat back.
“So, future boy, where are you staying? Please tell me it’s not a box under a bridge, because no offence, you sure smell like it.” You asked as you waved your hand in front of your face. He blushed and looked away.
“Not a box, but he does smell like he has been sleeping under a bridge like a troll-“ You heard his watch pipe up, and he slammed his palm over the speaker.
“Oh god, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean-“ The words came tumbling from your mouth.
“It’s fine.”
“It is not fine. You stink. You need a shower or a good long soak in a hot tub.” You said and paused for a moment. He stunk, but like a garbage bin or something. You almost wondered if he was homeless while he was here. It made sense if he was from the future.
“I actually was thrown into a dumpster this morning. I haven’t bothered to go back to my hotel.”
“Oh my god. I am sorry.”
“Naw, it’s fine, really. I chose not to go and shower. I had been chasing that guy all day. He managed to knock me into a dumpster, almost got away, then I spent my time watching him from the rooftops. I finally caught him when you showed up.”
“Does that mean you haven’t eaten?”
"Yeah, actually. I'm starving."
"Hold on a second then." You smiled and pulled out your phone.
Miguel watched as you stuck your tongue out between your teeth and tapped away quickly. Your fingers moved just slow enough for the phone to register your touch commands. He had never seen anyone type that fast before.
"What are you hungry for?" You brought up a food delivery app and scrolled around.
"Uh… Is it bad that I want Chinese? No, wait… I am really craving some good pizza." He said.
Pizza? That was great, because you knew a little place around the corner. Putting your phone away, you quickly put your mask away into your bag, tucked your collar down, and then pulled out some sweatpants. Miguel was confused for a second, that is until you kicked your shoes off and hopped into the pants. You put the shoes back on and then grabbed your wallet.
"OK, let's go over a block to the west. There's a really good pizza place over there. I go there all the time to pick up dinner for the Sanctum. Stephen usually gets pasta, my friends get pizzas, and I like the wings." You announced and left over to the next building.
"Oh? That sounds good." Miguel asked as he easily kept up with you.
"Yeah. I'm getting myself the Chipotle and honey wings." As you spoke, your mouth watered at the idea of soon having delicious chicken wings.
"I want an extra large Hawaiian. Extra pineapple." Miguel said with excitement as he licked his lips and did a flip in the air.
You landed on the roof of the pizza place, and Miguel opted to stay up on the roof while you went to order and pick it up. He was surprised to see you come back up fifteen minutes later with a pizza box and two containers of wings.
Notes:
***
Series Master List
***
Also, the height thing bugs the shit out of me. Moon Knight is supposed to be 6'2". We know Oscar is a short king. But! Miguel is supposed to be 5'10. We see Miles, who is supposed to be 5'8", but Miguel literally towers over him by a lot, telling me the man is well over 6'2". So, I don't give a fuck what anyone says. This Miguel is gonna be like 6'9". Deal with it.
I asked a friend for Miguel's favorite food. It's their opinion. So there.
***
Special thanks to:
Beta reading:
@einno-arko
Proof reading:
@howaboutcastiel
***
Ideas:
@einno-arko @howaboutcastiel @theaussiedragon
It won't let me tag some of you.
Tags:
@theaussiedragon @autismsupermusicalassassin @readingfan @missdragon-1 @marvelescvpe @lunar-ghoulie @cicithemess2000 @animesnowstorm @mahbeanz @dafuqelaine @bby-lupin @paranoiac-666 @konniebon @cl0v3r-s0up @seraphine-so-pretty @jupitersmoon167 @butterflypillows @ivystoryweaver @mintellaine
IF YOU WISH TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
154 notes · View notes
howlingday · 7 months
Note
swashbuckler au: weiss and jaune end up having a duel, and while weiss can't say he's the best swordsman she's ever faced she can say that he's the most adaptable fighting she's ever seen tldr: jaune pulls some jackie chan improvisation using the environment in unorthodox ways to win fights. slapstick action comedy ensues
Part 1
---------------------------------------------------
You know those awkward family dinners? The ones where the room is tense and feels like it's filled with gunpowder, and all it takes is just one word to set it all off? Yeah, those ones.
Well, Jaune usually felt that every dinner since taking up his father's mantle as the Hero of Aquadia. Tonight, however, was especially tense since the four people hired to hunt him down were also here, eating his mother's special occasion chicken and spice. Now there was heat to help the spark.
"Hah... Hah..." The girl in red huffed as she reached for her glass of milk.
"Is it too hot?" Mom asked. "I usually cut back when we entertain guests."
"My sister never really liked spicy food." Joked the older girl. "Dad used to joke they're the reason she drinks so much milk."
"You sure he wasn't just milking you for a laugh?" Jaune's dad pointed at her with his fork, receiving a fork-point back.
"Please, don't give her any material." The girl in white said with a sigh. Jaune couldn't explain what it was, but there was something about her that seemed... familiar. "Anyway, what exactly is our task in Aquafia? Beyond the scope of capturing this "folk hero" running around in the city?"
"He's not a folk hero."
...
The room was quiet at that. Everyone was staring at me. Why was everyone staring at me? Don't tell me I-
"Care to elaborate on that, Mr..?"
"A-Arc." Jaune gulped chicken. "Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue. The ladies love it."
"Do they, though?" Ruby asked.
"Yes, do they, Jaune?" His father sneered with a sinister grin. Sometimes, Jaune hated his father.
"Please excuse my son's outburst." His mom stated, dabbing her lips with her napkin. "He's a fan of La Lama Lunga de la Aquadia."
"The who the what?" Ruby asked.
"The Longblade of Aquadia." Blake answered. "The hero we met in the street earlier."
"And failed to capture." Mother said over folded fingers. She wasn't happy. Trust me, I'm an expert at making Mom not happy.
"He's crafty." Yang replied. "Really gave us the slip in the harbor after that Grimm attack."
"Haha! Oh, I wish I could have seen that!" Jaune's heart swelled at his father's words, even if these girls were giving him too much credit.
"And the city thanks you for protecting her citizens from the Grimm." His mother tried to get the discussion back to the mission. "But in regard to your real task, you can discuss the details in full with my son and my husband. I try not to involve myself in these childish escapades of heroism."
Jaune sank a little at that. "Sit up straight!" Okay, he sank a lot at it, but could you blame him? His mom just called him, as fancy as possible, out as a child playing hero! Still, his dad was stillin his usual high spirits. Kinda made him wonder how she never caught Dad when he was La Lama Lunga.
"It seems weird, though," The young girl said, "that the mayor of Aquadia would want to capture the hero of her city."
"He's a relic of the past, Ms. Rose." Mother dabbed her lips as she stopd up. "And though we are grateful for his protection in ages past, we must look to the future. If we wish to establish good relations beyond Aquadia, we must prove that we do not rely on fairy tales for our protection, and certainly not on vigilantes, either."
"So to make Aquadia a viable trading partner and member of the kingdom, you want us to hunt down the city's only protector?" Blake asked with a raised brow.
"We have guardsmen and a militia of retired soldiers acting as our reserve defense." Circling the table like a shark, the mayor made her case. "If Aquadia can prove we are just as capable as the northern cities in Vale, then we can prove that we are not merely a tourist trap of a bygone age."
"Oof, politics." Dad said. "Think it's time I called it a night. This talk of fairy tales and whatnot is giving me indigestion."
"We should also head back." Ruby said. "Thank you for the meal, but now it's time for Team RWBY to get to work! Starting tonight!"
Jaune swallowed his chicken a little hard, and started coughing up spices. Everyone stared at him again.
"S-Sorry." He said. "Uh, wrong hole."
---------------------------------------------------
You know what the best part about being a hero in your city? The nighttime patrols. Just you, the chirping creatures of the night, and the pale moon shining into the caldera city at midnight. It's almost therapeutic.
Jaune understood what his mom was getting at, bringing the other cities closer to them by getting rid of the one aspect that separates Aquadia from everywhere else on Remnant. Kinda like how Mistral has that famous sport lady. Pyra, or something.
Still, he doubted she would be getting hunted down just so her city can build economic ties to the rest of the kingdom.
Coming from the docks where an old woman was saying her prayers in a window beneath him, Jaune kept being reminded of why he loves this city. The teenage kids sneaking around after curfew, the young lovers holding hands in gondola rides, the white glyph shining right in front of hi-
Wait a minute.
"Hold it right there, llama loonga!" The girl in white from before swiped her blade at him. Jaune barely had time to catch it as he brought his own blade to his defense.
"It's actually La Lama Lunga, princess." Jaune shoved her away.
"It's heiress, actually." The girl held a fencing position, and judging by her stance, she meant it.
This was bad for so many reasons.
First, this would be completely different from Grimm or rowdy thieving hooligans. He was fighting a genuine huntress, an actual fighter. What little he learned about them ws in one ear and out the other. What? Huntsmen just aren't as fascinating as La Lama Lunga.
Second, his opponent was not only a trained warrior, but she was actually trained in the same weapon as he was! And making this particular dilemma even worse was Jaune didn't know how to actually fence. Sure, he's got the basics from what his dad taught him, but this was a huntress with a semblance.
And that semblance was-
"Are you going to just stand there and stare at me while I arrest you?" She asked, getting closer. "If so, then by all means, continue."
Taking his own stance, he gulped. Come on... Remember what Dad taught you. 'If you ever find yourself outmatched, there's no shame in running.' Jaune took a step back. 'Unless your opponent is smaller than you, then you definitely should feel ashamed.' Jaune kept his feet planted.
She got closer. Oh crap, this really happening to him, isn't it? Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap-
"CRAP!" Jaune leapt out of the way of her thrust. He stepped on his back feet over and over until he caught himself on the edge of the rooftop.
Suddenly, nothing came to his mind. All of his father's lessons fell away as he realized this would be how he died. How the legend ended. He wanted to cry. He wanted to curl into a ball. But neither option was available. So instead...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" La Lama Lunga ran forward, swinging his blade wildly at the foreign girl. Fear filled her eyes as she backed away, unsure of how to respond! His movements were too sporadic, too unorthodox! She'd never seen a fighting style like this before!
Suddenly, he tripped and fell over, dropping his weapon. He rolled forward, almost falling over the edge. Reaching down, he grabbed a potted flower and tossed it at her. She ducked, narrowly missing a bruise, only to be forced on the backfoot by the vigilante once more when he grabbed his blade again. Then...
"AGH!" She fell off! Jaune ran over to the side and looked down, finding the girl landed safe and sound... into a compost heap.
---------------------------------------------------
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yang couldn't stop laughing at breakfast, smashing her fist on the table.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Weiss screeched from inside the shower, on her third attempt to clean herself of the stench. "WHY WOULD THIS CITY EVEN NEED COMPOST?!"
"Apparently, the compost helps improve the soil development for the farms outside the caldera." Blake answered, reading the info pamphlet on compost provided. "The humid air compounded by the naturally occurring chemicals produced in the water make for an improved-"
"IT WAS RHETORICAL, BLAKE!"
"Jeez, this guy really is no joke." Ruby sighed. "Not only to escape all of us, but he managed to beat Weiss, too!"
"N... Not really that hard, Rubes." Yang breathed.
"SHUT UP, XIAO LONG!"
"But don't you worry." Yang pumped a thumb to herself. "With me and Blakey on the case, ain't no way sword boy is gonna last another night."
91 notes · View notes
for-a-longlongtime · 8 months
Text
On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 
Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.
I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:
Tumblr media
(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)
Tumblr media
The original 'Saturn' by Goya
The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.
Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.
Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.
Tumblr media
Not happy about another quarantine period.
Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:
Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.
Tumblr media
*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"
Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:
Tumblr media
'The Drowning Dog' by Goya
"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)
If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪
(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)
Tumblr media
122 notes · View notes
blorbocedes · 2 years
Note
Would love to hear your thoughts on Yukierre because folks have such different ideas of their dynamics and I feel like you might have some spicy takes
hmmm my yukierre hot takes....
I know we give Charles the Catholic guilt cultural appropriation pass for being a Ferrari driver but the real trad cath guilt ridden poster boy is pierre, sexy satyr mr tumnus looking, gasly who has a Cross necklace and does the sign of the cross before a race
Tumblr media
I have to respect the thottery 4 jesus
Tumblr media
Pierre is also in the business of denying himself things he wants, he talked on the podcast about how he used to have croissants everyday until he was 18 cause it's his ✨Francois Culture 🥖🇫🇷 but then after the motorsport diet restrictions made him count every calorie :( Yuki has a complete opposite approach towards pleasure, which is that he indulges in it. He has a good steak, a big rice dinner, even called a croissant good for mental calories (so true bestie!!!) 🥐
However, pierre is also the one instigates the sus shit; like saying yuki has tasted everything except French girls, how he has so many girls in his dms saying yuki is so cute and he just needs the confirmation to set them up...... which is 🤨 why do u want to get ur coworker laid . and why do u want to be involved in that process of setting it up 🤔 the whole "haha let's go to the movies I don't do this with guys btw but maybe I'll make an exception for u 😳" like WHO asked Mr Gasly. But then he is haunted by not leaving room for the Holy Spirit and gets spooked 'haha don't misunderstand/don't make it weird guys haha also yuki you can't come to my house, remember last time you tried to sleep with me'
Yuki isn't suffering from fatal conditions like Catholicism and being a former Redbull driver, so he can play back easily and unphased, 'I thought you weren't gonna tell them about that' 'having boyfriend girlfriend feelings 🥰' 'I want to go to your house' while pierre is having a breakdown trying to backtrack from the gay chicken because he always breaks first (coward)...... what does it truly mean to be liked by Pierre Gasly 😔
Tumblr media
Why are you looking at him like that!!!!! you are NEVER beating the allegations sir!!!!
this isn't relevant but yuki is one of the few on track who has thunder thighs which I'm a big fan I hope he never stops wearing schoolboy shorts
Tumblr media
also, the way alonso goes 'yuuki :D' makes me believe yuki has that same twinkle for chaos in his eyes, and I love a bitch on the grid.
tldr: what happens when you put a repressed French Catholic and a Japanese zoomer with no fear of god or calories together
771 notes · View notes