#that’s not the reason people hate james. they hate him because of that boring ass plot he had in season 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilyevanstan1325 · 5 months

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🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Chapter 10

Amaya POV

I walk with the gun pointed in front of me.

The only light is the red emergency neon that giving the corridors a sinister air.

Here below the screams from the upper floors are barely audible.

Sharon walks beside me, the gun ready for use.

All around us only rubble and smoke.

“The prisons are one floor below.The elevators are all gone, we will have to go up the stairs hoping they have withstood the explosions” Sharon informs me.

Her information is short and concise.

Her sense of duty is greater than any other feeling at the moment.

If I had been in her place, I don't know if I could have been so professional.

Collaborating with the woman who not even 48 hours before stole your man requires a great deal of willpower.

"Great" I sigh.

We continue our descent, check every room to make sure they are all safe.

"And I thought you were just Fury's boring and faithful secretary"

I turn to Sharon lifting a corner of my lips.

She continues with her monologue.

"And instead you are a killer, one of the best.Isn't that true Agent Zero?" she asks me.

I check around the corner and see that the passage is free.

"I see you've done your homework Agent Carter"

"The enemy must be studied"

"I'm not the enemy Sharon"

She looks at me with a skeptical expression.

I roll my eyes.

I know it is not the most suitable time but I am sure that such an opportunity will never happen to me again.

I grab her by the arm and stop her, check the room on my right and once I'm sure it's safe I enter dragging her with me.

"Listen to me Sharon, I know this is not the time and maybe it never will be but I wanted to apologize to you" I tell her in one breath.

“I never meant to take James away from you.I was wrong I know but I want you to know that I tried…I really tried to stay away from him.I tried with all of myself”

Sharon continues to remain silent and I take the opportunity to tell her everything that is wearing out my soul.

“I know you will think that I am doing all this to wash my conscience but I assure you that it is not.I have always respected you as a woman.As an agent.I respect your family.Your family is the reason why today I am a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, your family have always been a role model for my parents and for me.I'm sorry.I'm sorry I hurt you in the worst way a woman could be hurt.I hate myself for it but...but I love James.I really love him more than anything else.And I know you still love him too…and I…I don't…”

I run a hand through my hair trying to collect my thoughts.

“I'm sorry Sharon.I know that with my apologies you will wipe your ass off”

I see her giggle a little but as soon as she becomes aware of her peat immediately serious, her hazel gaze hard and sharp.

“I'm not asking for your forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it but I'm asking you to forgive James.Even if you feel hurt and don't believe him, know that you are one of the most important people in his life.You have always been there for him.And even if he doesn't say it so as not to hurt me, I know that he is suffering a lot from the whole situation.God!If he knew what I'm telling you...but it doesn't matter!I am convinced that you must know.He is bad without you.Please, please talk to him”

Sharon's eyes moisten.

I continue undeterred, the minutes are numbered and I have to tell her everything I think.

“If I could go back I would change a lot of things…but I can't…” I sigh wearily

“I just want him to be happy and I feel like shit telling you but he wasn't happy with you.He was suffering.He suffered and no one noticed.You have never noticed"

The woman in front of me looks at me with an unreadable expression on her face, wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and heads for the door.

"We have to go" are the only words that come out of her lips.

I sigh in resignation and return to focus on the mission.

I tried.

I hope someday she and Bucky can clear up.

We leave the semi-destroyed room and set out again along the dark and dusty corridors.

An imperceptible noise draws my attention by putting all my senses on alert.

I reach out my arm in front of Sharon, stopping her path, she looks at me with a questioning look.

I signal her to be quiet and pointing to my ear, I suggest at her to listen carefully.

We remain motionless for about 20 seconds, carefully scrutinizing everything around us.

That noise again.

It sounds like a moan and seems to come from the room to our left.

I nod to Sharon and walk over to her.

"I go forward.Cover my shoulders.And whatever happens go away, don't wait for me” I whisper barely audibly.

She looks at me with a strange expression that I cannot decipher.

She nods and positions herself behind me.

Ironic.

I am trusting her to the point of putting my life in her hands when she would have every right to put a bullet in my head and leave my corpse in this rubble.

Once we approach the entrance to the room where the faint lament seems to come from, we exchange a glance, the first to enter is me.

The room is half destroyed, there is rubble everywhere and half of the ceiling has collapsed.

A little movement catches my attention.

A hand appears from under the rubble of the collapsed ceiling and that faint lament repeats itself.

“Sharon run!I need you!" I yell at the woman who stayed at the door to make sure no one came.

Sharon rushes to me on her knees like I just did.

I grab the hand that comes out of that debris and squeeze it.

My squeeze is reciprocated.

"Take courage we will free you immediately" I say trying to instill some courage in this poor unfortunate.

Let's start digging with our hands, as fast as we can.

In the meantime, I activate my earpiece and try to communicate with my team.

“Steve can you hear me?Sam?James?Can you hear me?"

No reply.

Just a buzz.

"We are too low, there is no coverage here.If I'm not mistaken we should be two floors below ground” Sharon tells me with shortness of breath as she continues to move large chunks of the ceiling.

"Damn!" I swear.

I manage to take off the biggest piece and two big dark eyes that I know so well are staring at me.

"Amaya" she whispers and soon after she starts coughing.

Sharon and I look into each other's eyes and get back to work faster than before.

“Hold on Maria.Hold on" I whisper with my heart beating madly.

Maria Hill is the first friend I've ever had.

She is the only person besides Fury who knows my true identity.

And what seemed to be a simple working relationship over the years has grown into a solid friendship.

We had talked on the phone a few hours earlier.

And now she was buried alive struggling to stay conscious.

“Maria stay with me, ok?Breath slowly.We're almost there, a little longer and you'll be free” I tell her looking into her eyes.

Her face is dirty and full of dust.

There is a cut on her forehead where her blood has already congealed.

"I'm fine Amaya.Don't worry”

Her upper body is free.

Now only a large sheet of metal blocks her legs.

"Can you move your legs Maria?" Sharon asks about her, running a hand over her forehead to wipe away the sweat.

“No, I can't but they hurt so I don't think I have any injuries.I'm just stuck”

When she replies, I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.

Sharon looks me in the eyes and points her instructions.

“I grab from this side and you stand in front of me.I will count to three and at my three we lift with all the strength we have”

I nod.

"Ok...one, two...three"

On three of her we both leverage our legs and try to lift the heavy metal.

A strangled sound due to the effort comes out of my throat.

The plate lifts about two inches."Maria tries to free you" Sharon murmurs, gritting her teeth with the effort.

Maria, helping herself with her arms, slips her from under the trap.

At the same time, Sharon and I let go of the metal plate that falls to the ground with a deafening noise.

I immediately rush to my friend.

"How are you?Do you think you have something broken?" I ask her.

Maria coughs again and tries to answer me.

"I think...I think..." but she stops because another coughing fit is shaking her.

I look at her in alarm.

When she calms down she tries to speak again.

"No, nothing broken but I'm hurt"

So she saying she lifts her jacket and beneath her a large red stain covers her once immaculate blouse.

I grab the garment and lift it, a fragment of glass protrudes from her side.

Ok, don't panic.

I have to think fast.

But Maria's voice interrupts my thoughts.

“What are you two doing down here?I mean you two together”

I roll my eyes.

She is always the same.

I don't answer her but Sharon does it for me.

“We have to find the Wakandian.Why were you here instead?" Carter asks as she looks carefully at Hill's wound.

“I went down with Rumlow and his men.I stopped at an office to sign documents, and at the first explosion I went back to help the agents go upstairs.

While I was inspecting the last room, the roof collapsed on me"

"You'll be fine Maria.We have faced worse.Do you remember Caracas?" I ask, lifting a corner of my lips.

“Oh Christ.We just survived that mission”

We laugh together.

Then I turn to Sharon.

"Take her upstairs.She needs medical attention immediately” I tell her.

"I'm not leaving you alone" she replies back, looking straight into my eyes.

“And I'm not going to let you kill one of my best friends.You take her upstairs.I have to get to the prisons.I will not be alone, surely there will be Rumlow and other agents under there”

I will not accept any reply to my words.

I stand up dragging Maria with me.

Sharon approaches the two of us and puts an arm around Maria's waist.

She entrusts it to her completely.

"Go" I order.

They both look at me worried.

“I can take care of myself.Go” I insist urgently.

The two women walk slowly and limping towards the door.

"Sharon?" I call her but then I freeze.

What the hell was I going to do?

Was I really going to tell her to relay a message to Bucky?

I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head.

"Be careful" I just tell her.

She looks at me and her words take me completely off guard.

"Don't worry, I'll tell James you're okay and safe"

I look at her with disbelief.

Maria's eyes go back and forth between me and Sharon, her lips curved into a sly smile.

She seems amused by the whole situation.

"Thank you" I murmur about her turning my back and resuming my descent towards the prisons.

I begin to descend the last ladder that will take me to my final destination.

I hit something with my foot and at first I don't understand what it is...then thanks to the red emergency neon lights that flash non-stop I see that it is a corpse.

I observe the weapons he holds in his hands and the black uniform he wears.

He is a member of Rumlow's team.

And he has a bullet in his forehead.

I tighten my grip on my gun and remove the safety.

This is the proof that there are not just friends down there.

I continue slowly, all senses alert.

There is nothing left in my head.

No worries.

In this moment, I am the glacial Agent Zero again.

I continue up the stairs, meeting another dozen corpses on my way.

I arrive in a long corridor, mostly destroyed by the explosions.

I look around.

The cells on my sides are all empty.

On the long floor there are other corpses but this time I don't recognize them.

They wear camouflage and red balaclavas.

They are all dead.

My heart beats furiously in my ears.

Voices come from the last cell on the left.

I sneak up to it.

When I reach the bars of the last cell I barely reach out and what I see makes no sense.

Rumlow is sitting on the floor.

He is clearly wounded in the arm, a large makeshift bandage wraps the injured part.

Standing in front of him is Lucas.

Lucas Scott.

He has his hands turned upwards, as if he were giving up.

From here I can see the strong and firm profile of his jaw.

His blonde hair is covered in dust and blood.

He is more handsome than I remembered.

I watch him carefully and he seems unharmed.

I just need to look a few meters in front of him to see a man, in fact he is just a boy.

He has dark skin and long hair braided behind his neck.

And he's pointing a gun at Lucas.

I have to intervene.

I take two steps, just crawling my feet in order to attract the attention of the Wakandian.

As soon as his gaze lands on me he immediately points the gun at me.

“Don't shoot.Don't shoot.I'm not here to hurt you” I tell him showing him my hands and slowly, very slowly I put my weapon on the floor.

Lucas looks at me with wide eyes.

I approach Rumlow with my hands up.

I kneel beside him and grabbing his wrist I check his pulse.

I sigh of relief.

He is still alive.

His dark eyes slowly open.

"Snow" he croaks at me in a hoarse voice.

"Quiet Brock I'll get you out of here" I whisper.

Only now that I'm close can I see the big gash he has on his thigh.

A belt tightens it to try to slow down the bleeding.

When I'm about to get up he grabs me by the arm.

“I have lost all my men.Everyone…” his words die in his throat.

His red, bloodshot eyes fill with tears.

He may be a jerk but he has always been a good Captain and the loss of his men is always something devastating.

I squeeze his hand which is still resting on my arm.

"It's not your fault" I try to reassure him.

"Now stay down and hold on" I get up and go beside Lucas.

We exchange a quick glance, it's the first time we've seen each other since that night.

Let us turn our attention to the young man in front of us.

His eyes seem haunted, the gun continues to be aimed at us.

"Stay calm.We can help you” I tell him softly.

He laughs, a scary laugh.

He almost seems to be demon-possessed.

“But you already have.Bringing me here.Thanks to your stupidity you have led me where I needed it”

I turn to Lucas without understanding what the boy is saying.

The look of the blonde next to me is as confused as mine.

"What does it mean?" Lucas asks.

“It means that while you are wasting your time here with me other men have managed to get hold of the Vibranium that you had seized from us again.And if we are lucky enough we will also be able to kill T’Challa today"

His eyes light up as if he were a child on Christmas Eve, waiting for his much-desired gifts.

"You still have time" I tell him trying to instill confidence in my words.

“We can really help you.Don't you have a family?Someone waiting for your at home?If you collaborate with us we could make you hug your family again”

A sad smile makes room on the face of the young Wakandian. "I had a family but you took it away from me"

"Us?" I ask disoriented.

“Lagos.My family was in Lagos to help our less fortunate brothers and the Avengers killed them.And what did our King do?Nothing!He was content with the Sokovia Accords.As if that were enough.As if the signatures of a couple of Avengers could ever be enough to erase the spilled blood”

The pain in his words is tangible.

“I can assure you I know what it's like to lose your family.I know how much it hurts and that seeking revenge seems like the best solution but it isn't!Believe me”

I feel Lucas eyes on me.

He knows what I'm talking about and he knows how hard it is for me to talk about it.

The Wakandian smiles in our direction.

“You will not win.Your world will fall apart as it should be.Only then will our revenge be accomplished” he raves about him and after sticking the barrel of the gun into his mouth he shoots himself.

"No!" I scream out loud.

But it's too late now.

The boy lies on the ground with his skull crushed.

"No!Fuck!" I exclaim angrily, running a hand through my hair.

Lucas approaches me.

“It's not your fault Amaya.You couldn't have stopped him.By now he had made the choice of him for some time” he whispers to me, touching my arm.

We remain for a few seconds to observe ourselves.

A whirlwind of emotions stir in my heart.

I would be lying if I said that I did not miss the man in front of me.

Talking to him was one of my favorite things, in the evening on the phone we wasted hours chatting.

With him I was always able to be myself, for better or for worse.

And he has always listened to me without ever judging me.

Instinctively I take a step closer and my arms are raised as if I wanted to hug him but suddenly a frightening noise takes us by surprise.

I crouch with my arms over my head, Lucas immediately lowers himself on me as if to shield me with his body.

We hear Rumlow cursing.

After a few moments we are hit by a cloud of dust.

We all cough convulsively.

I feel Lucas's arms tighten around my shoulders, his warm voice whispers in my ear "Are you okay Amaya?"

I nod my head against his chest, breathing in his sweet scent.

Honey and citrus fruits, sweat and blood.

When the last echo of the collapse dies out around us, we rise with caution.

Lucas moves away from me and without saying a word approaches Rumlow who, unable to move, was only able to crouch more against the wall and shield his head with his arms.

"Are you okay Brock?" he asks with concern.

"Never been better" Brock replies with his usual arrogant frown.

I roll my eyes.

Asshole.

When the dust in the air disperses, we can see the damage.

The ceiling in front of the cell door collapsed.

We're stuck in here.

Fantastic.

I try to contact my team.

I put a hand to my ear activating the earpiece.

“Guys can you hear me?We need help!Steve?Nat?We have a wounded man.Can you hear me?"

"They can't hear you from below" Rumlow murmurs in a faint voice.

"I know!" I sigh full of frustration starting to circle around the cell.

I feel the panic assault me.

Right now I regret not allowing James to follow me.

I need him now.

I sit cross-legged on the ground leaning my head against the wall.

With an involuntary gesture my hand tightens around his tags.

It's like they are my natural sedative, my lucky charm.

I smile silently with my eyes closed thinking about my panties that are currently in Bucky's pocket.

His lucky charm.

His madness is one of the reasons why I am madly in love with him.

I sigh, squeezing the tags even more tightly in my fingers.

I know how important they are to him, they remind him of who he was and who Sergeant Barnes is.

His meaningful gesture left me speechless.

When he slipped off his neck and gave me a sense of warmth he radiated into my heart.

"I'll come back to you, Sergeant" I murmur softly.

I feel a movement next to me, Lucas sat next to me.

He too leans his head against the wall and closes his eyes.

I look at his profile.

His face is covered in dust, a cut crosses his cheek and another across his forehead.

I touch one wound first and then the other with the tips of my fingers.

"Are you okay Lucas?"

His big blue eyes like the California sky open pointing to mine, he grabs my hand that's still on his face and squeezes it, bringing it to his lips.

"Yes I'm fine"

With a nod of the head I indicate Rumlow.

He has his eyes closed, his face ashen but his chest rises and falls.

Barely.

"And how is he?"

"He has lost a lot of blood" he replies worried.

"I hope they find us as soon as possible"

"They will.I'm sure they are already coming”

I try to reassure him.

My fingers tighten even more around James's tags.

It is now a gesture that I make unconsciously.

Lucas notices this and smiles.

He knows too.

Obviously he knows.

We continue to hold hands each lost in our thoughts.

His thumb continues to caress the back of my hand with small circular movements and I unwittingly relax.

This was one of the reasons I was attracted to him.

Every word or gesture from him calmed me easily.

I turn back to him, slipping my hand out of him, my gesture seems to hurt him but he says nothing.

“Lucas what happened before I arrived.I saw Rumlow's men and who were those men with the red balaclavas?"

I see him sigh.

“We have no idea.Rumlow and I were talking about the Wakandan prisoner when the first explosion occurred and we were surrounded by these men immediately after.There was a very heavy firefight.Brock has lost all of his men.It was horrible but we made it" he stops and his gaze becomes vacant as if he were reliving the horror he had just experienced.

“When you arrived I was trying to get the boy to give up”

Rumlow just moans without opening his eyes.

"I hope the Avengers find us quickly" Lucas murmurs.

I smile thinking of Bucky and Nat giving orders yelling at anyone to move.

"They will come.You can count on this”

Let's remain silent for a few minutes.

"So...it was Sergeant Barnes, huh?"

I lift my legs and hug my knees to my chest.

I know what he is asking me.

He's asking me if I turned him down months ago because of him.

"Yeah" I whisper.

"It was him"

I look down guilty but Lucas crystalline laugh makes me look up quickly at him.

“Everything is fine Amaya.You don't have to feel guilty”

I feel compelled to give him an explanation.

He deserves it.

“Before I joined the Avengers I had a one night stand with James.I never saw him again after that night.But then…then with my arrival in the team everything changed.I tried to let him go but couldn't.He didn't let me"

A corner of my lips lifts up thinking about how despite we tried with all our strength to stay away from each other, in the end our love won just the same.

But my smile dissipates as I think about how many people we have hurt.

“I'm sorry I hurt you Lucas.I should have been honest with you right away”

He watches me silently.

"Right person at the wrong time, remember?"

Lucas uses the words I used for him that night many months ago.

"I still think so, you know?" he says.

We smile at each other.

Lucas is about to tell me something but my attention is captured by something else.

A very faint hum approaches the cell where we got stuck.

I just need to look up and Red Wing is in front of me.

A smile spreads across my face as I turn to Lucas.

“They found us.Hold on Rumlow!" I say addressing the man on the floor who in response barely raises a hand as if to say "Hey I'm here, I'm holding on"

I speak to Sam's precious toy, hoping that he has some sort of audio system.

“Guys if you can hear me we got stuck in the Wakandan's cell.Rumlow is badly injured.Agent Scott and I are fine.But hurry up I don't know how long this place will hold up, half the ceiling has already collapsed and the other half is really unstable"

Red Wing makes a small swinging movement and flies away.

I tightly squeeze the bars of the cell between my fingers.

I raise my face to the crumbling ceiling.

I hope they hurry.

Bucky POV

"Buck there is no one anymore.Now let's let the bomb squad do their job”

Steve is next to me talking to me but I can't pay attention.

My eyes are glued to the spot where Amaya disappeared almost an hour ago.

“Pal I know what you're thinking…you can't go down there.There are unsafe points and the building could collapse"

I look at him with eyes full of desperation.

His hand tightens on my shoulder.

"It will all be fine.Amaya is strong and smart.I'm sure she's fine”

“Captain Rogers we need you” A soldier approaches Steve.

"Go ahead buddy" I tell him continuing to stare into space around me.

I feel him linger with his gaze on my face.

I turn to him with a smile on my face.

"I promise I won't bullshit"

Steve laughs and shakes his head walks away.

I think of Amaya.

What happened to her?

I clench my fists.

I knew I should have gone with her.

Someone approaches me.

“I'm sure she's fine.Do not be afraid”

Of all the people in the world I would never have imagined that she would come to console me.

I turn my face to Sharon.

I observe her delicate features.

Her concern is like a slap in the face.

Despite everything I've done to her, she's here to console me.

I feel like a monster.

"I'm sorry"

I know it sounds pathetic but it's the only thing I can tell her.

She immediately becomes serious.

I think she is about to yell at me a lot of insults and instead she apologizes.

"I'm sorry James"

I look at her open-mouthed unable to formulate any thoughts.

Why is she apologizing?

“Sharon, you have nothing to apologize for.I'm the one who did wrong”

“Not so James.I had understood it.I understood it and I ignored it.I thought that ignoring him the problem would disappear”

I keep looking at her without understanding her words.

“I realized you were unhappy with me James.But I was selfish.I wanted you all to myself”

I see her sigh.

“Instead of understanding why you were unhappy, I pressured you.I forced you to stay with me”

I interrupt her immediately.

“Sharon you didn't force anyone.I was a coward not to tell you about it.I didn't mean to disappoint you, you were one of the first people to believe in me.If today I am a happy man again it is thanks to you”

We smile at each other.

"Can you accept my apologies?" I ask fearfully.

She looks at me intently.

"Only if you accept mine" and so she says she holds out her hand to me.

I accept it and hold it tightly.

Then I draw her towards my body and hold her in a strong hug by wrapping my arms around her neck.

At first she does not reciprocate but then her arms close around my waist, squeezing strongly.

As soon as we part there is a moment of embarrassment and we both turn our gaze in front of us.

“You know I like her.She is strong.She can handle you”

Sharon talks about Amaya looking straight in front of her, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"I know all too well" I giggle amused.

“She is strong.Stubborn.She is a pain in the ass but..."

"But you love her"

"Yeah...I love her"

I turn to Sharon.

"I'm sor..."

"Oh my God!" she interrupts me.

"I swear to God that if you're going to apologize again I'll kick your ass"

We burst out laughing together.

Meanwhile Natasha approaches us.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but there are news"

The former Russian spy's gaze sharpens.

"As long as you still care"

So saying she turns her back to me and goes away.

I roll my eyes and smile in the direction of Sharon who walks next to me.

I approach a small emergency station where a PC screen is on display.

It is broadcasting the images captured by Red Wing.

Behind the bars of a cell is my beautiful Amaya.

All my senses go on alert, from grainy images I try to understand if she is hurt.

"Can't this stupid thing convey more clearly?" I ask Sam.

"Hey don't insult Red Wing"

Amaya waves in front of the little drone, she looks like she's talking.

"Are the images live?" Steve asks to Sam.

“No, it's a recording from about a minute ago.I'm trying to recover the audio.Give me a minute”

Sam keeps typing letters over letters, numbers over numbers.

"Ok.Done!We have audio" exclaims Sam enthusiastically.

Just before starting the video again, a noise attracts our attention.

Iron Man descends from the sky joining us.

"What are you doing here Stark?" Steve asks surprised.

Tony takes off the helmet of his armor and stroking his goatee with one hand he answers us.

"As soon as I heard about the attack on the Triskelion I immediately flew"

While he speaks he looks around.

"Where the hell is Amaya?"

It is Sharon who answers him.

"She is in the building.We were about to watch this footage recorded by Sam's drone”

“It's called Red Wing” interrupts Sam.

She rolls her eyes in response.

Sam presses the play button and the video starts.

Amaya is seen behind the bars of a cell, behind her sitting on the floor there seem to be two other people.

Then I can finally hear her voice again.

Red Wing makes a small movement and flies away.

Agent Scott?Lucas Scott?

And Rumlow?

Great.

She is trapped together with two men who have a crush on her.

"I'm going" I say without thinking, turning my back on my friends.

“Woah dude!Hold your horses!The building is unsafe.Where do you think you're going?" Sam is talking.

“What do you want me to do, huh?Should I leave her there?Does not exist!I'm going” I repeat with conviction.

I'm not going to leave her there for a minute longer than necessary.

"Buck!" Steve calls me.

I know that he too wants to make me think but I don't care.

"Wait!I'm coming with you”

I'm surprised by his words.

"What?" Sam and Nat exclaim in unison.

Steve turns to his girlfriend.

“Listen baby.I know it could be dangerous but we can't wait for the bomb squad to secure the building.It might be too late”

I nod at his words.

Steve hit the spot exactly.

The longer we wait, the more we risk the worst.

"Count on me"

I turn to the man who spoke.

“Are you sure Tony?It could be dangerous"

"She is only a kid!She needs us now!”

I nod at his words.

Steve, Tony and I look into each other's eyes and with a nod of the head I tell him to follow me.

In front of the entrance we are blocked by some soldiers.

"Captain Rogers it could be dangerous" a man replies after listening to our intentions.

"Son are you wasting our time"

So saying Tony pushes the man aside and makes his way.

"So you want to follow me?" echoes Tony.

We walk inwards and begin to go down the stairs.

Arriving at the last flight of stairs, dozens of corpses are spilled all over the floor.

Men of S.H.I.E.L.D. and other men with covered faces.

As soon as we arrive in the long corridor lined with cells I call her name.

"Amaya?Amaya I'm here!"

“James!James babe!"

At the sound of her voice my heart quickens his beat and I rush towards her.

I climb over lifeless bodies and debris until I reach the cell where she is imprisoned with the others.

The exit is blocked by large pieces of ceiling, stones and sheets to obstruct the passage.

And here it is my little robin.

She is covered in dust.

Her little hands are wrapped around the cell's metal bars.

I rush towards her, grabbing her face in my hands.

“I'm here doll.I will get you out of here don't worry!”

I kiss her not giving a damn about everything and everyone.

Tony and Steve join me.

I reserve my attention to Agent Scott who is now approaching behind Amaya.

"Rumlow has lost too much blood" he informs me, turning his gaze to the man on the ground.

Rumlow is almost lifeless, we have to hurry.

Some rubble falls on our heads.

“Friday just checked the stability of this place.It will collapse shortly.We don't have time to clear the exit" Tony informs us trying to remain calm but without success.

I can feel the panic in his voice.

"Get away" I suggest to Amaya.

She takes a few steps back until she joins Agent Charming.

"What are your intentions, babe?" she asks suspiciously.

"You just stay back" I tell her again.

I grab two bars and shoot with all my strength.

I want to try to create a gap in the bars to get them out.

I pull so hard that my Vibranium arm creaks as if the components are about to come off.

But I do not care.

I keep shooting non-stop.

Steve stands by my side, he grabs the bar in my right hand.

"I pull this one, you keep pulling the other one in the opposite direction"

Tony approaches the cell grabbing Rumlow's arm.

"The pulse is weak we must hurry" he looks at us urgently.

“If I used my repulsors I could cut the bars in an instant” he suggests.

"But you would risk hitting a few pillars and everything would collapse instantly" says Steve with a tight voice from the effort.

"I know" Stark nods disconsolately.

The bars begin to bend.

"Come on man!Here we are...we are almost there” I gasp from the effort.

After a few moments the bars bend and we manage to enter the cell.

Amaya immediately throws herself into my arms pressing her lips to mine.

I hold her so tightly that I could suffocate her but I don't care.

And it doesn't seem to matter to her either.

Steve and Tony approach Rumlow grabbing him by the arms and lifting him off the floor.

Rumlow opens his eyes, they are glassy and bloodshot.

I don't think he realizes what's going on.

"We have to go, quick!" I urge my teammates to get moving.

We walk quickly towards the exit.

Lily follows me keeping her fingers tight around mine, she squeezes as if she is afraid of losing me.

I just turn to her.

"C'mon doll.We are almost there.Are you all right back there?" I ask.

“Yeah!It's all as beautiful as a walk in the park” mumbles Tony as he and Steve drag a half-knowing Rumlow.

Lucas closes the line.

Arriving in the lobby of the Triskelion we all breathe a sigh of relief.

A team of paramedics comes immediately to meet us, they grab Rumlow and after loading him on a stretcher they carry him away at the speed of light.

Natasha runs up to us, literally snatching Amaya from my hands.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" she asks her.

In her voice I can feel an excited tremble.

The two redheads in front of me really love each other, they are more like sisters than friends.

Kind of like me and Steve.

“Yeah bitch!I told you I'm hard to die" Amaya chuckles in response.

Typical of her.

Use sarcasm when she feels overwhelmed by emotions.

And Natasha knows this so she hugs her even tighter and whispers something in her ear.

A moment later Amaya is sobbing in her arms.

I just go over to leave her a kiss on the head.

“You are in good hands my beautiful robin.I'm going to talk to Steve and the others, you take all the time you need" I whisper close to her ear.

She nods without taking her face off Natasha's chest.

I walk away and look at her while Nat continues to whisper something to her ear and pets her hair.

I get closer to others.

Sam is asking Agent Scott something.

“It was a massacre.If it wasn't for Brock I don't know if I would still be alive” Lucas replies.

"Who updates me?" I ask without addressing anyone in particular.

“I'll give you the short version Barnes.We're in shit" Tony replies, then nodding his head to where Amaya is, he asks me "How's the kid?"

"She's a little shaken but she'll be fine" I reply.

Lucas steps in.

“She feels guilty about the death of the prisoner.She saw him shoot himself in the mouth.She believes she could have done more"

I look at him with a raised eyebrow but he doesn't let my gaze intimidate him.

"Problems Barnes?"

"Do you have problems Scott?"

"Look, you're not the only one who knows Amaya..."

I don't let him finish the sentence because I come dangerously close to him.

Our faces are inches apart.

“Choose your next words very carefully Agent Blondie because it's my girlfriend you're talking about”

Scott looks at me with a sly smile and I want to punch him.

Steve walks up to me putting his hand on my chest.

"Easy man" he warns me.

Tony, on the other hand, laughs amused.

"Gentlemen as much as your little theater tempts me at the moment we have bigger problems"

"We need to talk but we need a safe place" Steve murmurs thoughtfully.

"My home.A few miles from here is my apartment.It's a safe place”

Meanwhile, Amaya and Natasha join us.

Tony puts his arm around my girlfriend's shoulders and kisses her head.

"Are you okay kid?"

She nods giving him a sweet smile then her gaze, for a split second, rests on Lucas's.

It is a fleeting glance but full of some feeling that I cannot understand.

Does she still have feelings for him?

I shake my head trying to push these uncomfortable thoughts away.

Twenty minutes later we're all crammed into Sam's small kitchen.

Tony and Steve are one next to the cave, both are leaning against the kitchen counter.

Sam and Lucas are seated at the table while Amaya and Natasha are seated directly across from the two men.

I am standing with my back to the wall and my gaze fixed on Agent Scott.

His gaze falls too often on my little robin.

“To recap” murmurs Iron Man “It was all studied.But why did the prisoner want to come to America?That is, they could destroy the Triskelion and steal the Vibranium even without his presence"

"But his presence served to attract us and T’Challa.A great way to eliminate multiple targets at once” Amaya replies.

"This makes sense" replies Sam.

Steve sighs.

"They've failed at this but they've got all the vibranium again...and that's absolutely no good"

Steve is right.

They failed to kill us but recovered their booty.

“Not forgetting that they had time to plant the explosives.This means that the mole is someone very close to us.Someone who followed the plan step by step” reflect Sam aloud.

Shit.We are in shit.

“We will need all the video surveillance footage from the Triskelion.Tony, could you also send us all the images of the various security cameras around the area?Let's say within 500 meters?" Natasha asks.

Tony nods.

“Well” the redhead resumes looking at Amaya.

“You and I have a long job to do.Are you ready?"

“I was born ready”

The two women smile at each other.

“I'll investigate those men in the red balaclavas.As soon as I have news, I'll get in touch with you” Lucas speaks to Steve.

Great.

We now work in the same team.

"Perfect tomorrow we'll start digging into this whole thing and..." but Tony stop talking because his phone starts ringing.

He answers and after muttering some "ok" and some "good" he ends the call.

"It was Agent Carter.Maria Hill and Rumlow are fine.They are out of danger and will recover.T’Challa is safe, she is on a return flight to Wakanda" Tony updates us.

Amaya sighs in relief.

Then her gaze turns to Tony.

"Is your phone safe?" she asks him.

"Sure" Tony replies almost offended by such a question.

Amaya continues to stare at him.

"What?" Tony asks.

“I would need it”

Tony hands her his phone muttering “A please would be appreciated.These kids today are too rude"

Amaya rolls her eyes as she grabs the phone from Tony's hands, she leaves him a kiss on his cheek as she walks past him and she heads to another room.

Automatically I follow her but I freeze on the threshold of the door when I realize that I don't know if she wants me to know who she is calling.

I start to go back but her sweet voice calls me.

"James?You come in and close the door” she whispers.

I look around.

We are in a bedroom, the walls are covered with photos of two beautiful children.

I observe them rapt.

“They are Sam's grandchildren” Amaya explains to me as she hugs me from behind.

I turn to her and grabbing her hand I go to the bed and sit on top of it making her sit on my lap.

Amaya's hot and sensual lips rest on mine.

At first it is a light kiss, just a touch of lips but then it gradually becomes more and more understood.

My tongue invades her mouth as her arms close around my neck.

We only detach when it's time to catch our breath.

Her forehead rests on mine.

She then kisses the tip of my nose and while sitting in my arms she dials a number on the phone keypad and she holds it to her ear.

After a few moments a male voice answers her.

He's Fury.

Of course she called him.

They just exchange a couple of information and say goodbye quickly.

She snuggles up to my chest and sighs.

I kiss the top of her head and we remain in silence enjoying each other's presence.

"Sharon and I have clarified" I begin.

"I'm really happy babe"

I feel her smile on my chest.

"Why do I get the impression that it is your robin?"

"Me?I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about Sergeant”

We both laugh when a soft knock on the door catches our attention.

"I hope you two aren't having sex in my house" Sam exclaims as he opens the door.

Amaya laughs heartily and Sam enter in the room sitting next to us.

“Tony, Steve and Nat have left.Unfortunately the house is small and they went to sleep in the hotel which is a few blocks away.Agent Scott will sleep on the sofa.You two can stay here if you want”

“Will Mister Perfection really sleep here?Nice friend you are!" I interrupt what I thought was one of my best friends.

Traitor.

Host him as if he wasn't my enemy!

Amaya nudges me in the stomach so hard that my breath hisses out.

“Thanks Sam.Thanks Sam you idiot!” and so saying she gives me a second elbow in my stomach.

“Ouch…yeah…thanks Sam.You are a true friend” I whisper under my breath.

Sam laughs.

"C'mon dude!That man went through hell today, he saw a dozen colleagues die...I didn't feel like sending him away" he explains, turning a look at me in search of understanding.

Right now I would punch him in the face I swear.

“Thanks Sam, you were really kind to host him” Amaya thanks Sam all too kindly for his gesture.

Are she really that excited about spending the night under the same roof as Lucas?

Sam stands up leaving a kiss on my girlfriend's cheek.

"Don't worry Amaya, it's nothing.Goodnight.Night Buck”

“Goodnight” we reply at the same time.

Once we are left alone Amaya gets up and goes to the bathroom we have in the room.

"I need a shower" she tells me stretching her arms upwards making her back bones crack.

"Go ahead.I'll wait here" I reply irritably.

I'm still thinking about the idiot who will sleep on the sofa tonight.

I see her hesitating at the door.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I was thinking...I was thinking if you would like to enjoy me in the shower" she whispers sensually opening the zip of her leather suit sliding it down her shoulders.

She is left topless with only my tags idly falling on it.

She finishes taking it off, remaining only with a pair of plain black panties in front of my eyes.

She undoes her bun and keeps looking at me biting her lip.

"Didn't you say we weren't suitable for sex in confined spaces?" I tease her by quoting the same words as her.

"Maybe the shower here is bigger...but quiet if you don't feel like I can go over there and ask Lucas"

A growl of possession resounds in my chest and getting up like a fury I go towards her.

I grab her by the neck and kiss her almost nastily.

I bite her lips until I hurt her, until I feel the taste of blood on my tongue.

"Don’t mess with me doll" I whisper on her lips, kissing her again forcefully.

I tear off her panties making her jump and taking her in my arms I drag her with me into the shower.

I undress with dry and determined movements continuing to kiss her, our tongues continue to dance together sensually.

Amaya moans eagerly in my mouth as her hand tightens around my erection.

I remove her hands abruptly and grabbing both of her wrists I only whisper a word in her ear.

"Kneel"

She obeys me instantly.

"Yes sir"

Good girl.

I grab her hair and bend her head behind and then I bend down on her and spit in her mouth.

"Swallow my little whore"

She does it while continuing to look at me with adoring eyes.

God how much I love this woman.

I love her so much that I feel my heart hurt.

Her little hands claw my thighs and her face gets closer and closer to my dick.

After a few moments her lips wrap around my tip, teasing it with her tongue.

I throw my head behind, moaning silently, bringing my hands between her silky red hair.

I push a few locks away from her face to be able to observe her in all the magnificence of her while her sinful mouth takes care of me.

“Touch yourself for me my little robin” I urge her with shortness of breath.

She puts her hand on her sex and with her fingertips begins to tease her clit.

She purrs while she continues to please me with her mouth.

"Cum with me doll" I hiss as I push her head faster, my cock moves in and out mercilessly from her mouth.

I cum on her lips, on her breasts.

I open the water which immediately washes my semen away from her body.

She lifts and fastens her arms around my neck.

"I love you James"

"I love you too" I answer her by grabbing her thigh, bringing it to my side and with a single movement I enter her.

I start fucking her mercilessly.

She is mine.

And she will always be mine.

"You're only mine right?" I ask her in an angry voice, looking for confirmation.

"Yes sir" she gasps in my ear between one moan and another.

I grab her other leg and lift her up in my arms, her hands clutching strands of my wet hair.

I place my lips in the curve of her neck, kissing her softly.

"You are only mine right?You only love me right?"

This time in my voice there is no trace of the Dom that is in me, there is only desperation.

A pathetic desperation.

Amaya senses the change of course of my feelings and her sweet gaze lands on mine.

"I'll always be yours James"

"So the man over there...you don't feel anything for him, do you?" I lower my eyes, avoiding her gaze.

I also stop penetrating her.

I simply hold her in my arms while remaining firm inside her body.

"James?James please look at me”

I surrender to her sweet will by looking up at her.

Her hands caress my face with such a sweetness that my soul vibrates.

"You are the only man I want.You are the only one I want.I love you and thanks to your love I feel that I am coming back to life.You saved my life babe”

I hold her tight and start moving again.

But this time I do it slowly.

The urgency and the anger I felt before seem to have disappeared thanks to her words.

Now we are just a man and a woman who sweetly make love.

We cum together tightly in each other's arms.

“I love you Amaya.I love you more than anything in this world"

We get out of the shower and after drying ourselves we lie down on the bed.

Amaya snuggles into my arms, our legs are entwined.

Our breaths mix with each other in a last sweet kiss before abandoning us to sleep.

Please share, comment and rate ❤️

Taglist

🔥 Masterlist 🔥

@deansapplepie

#marvel #sebastianstan #bucky barnes #bucky #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction recommendation #sebastian stan fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x oc #bucky fanfic #bucky x oc #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier #dangerousgame

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adeadhorse · 11 months

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not really a act but a ramble on Season 4 because the Zoey 102 thing reminded me

Zoey degraded in the fourth season and in my opinion, Chase was a big reason why. Chase was literally zoey’s only good part in her character (them interacting and the episodes. everything else zoey did was boring). She became so much more annoying and obnoxious (she already was, but season 4 showed that Chase made her slightly more likeable).

I wish Zoey in the season genuinely realized this and how half assed the relationship “drama” in Season 4 was. I just wish Chase was even mentioned in Season 4. After Fake Roommate, he was only mentioned a few times in Rumor of Love, once in Vince is Back + flashbacks…. and that’s literally it. Just more depth on Zoey and Chase without Chase being there (because i know Sean left on his terms). mentions, pov, friend group realizing, etc.

I know fandom has done tons of fanfics of this in Season 4, i just genuinely wish it was real because it would genuinely be preferable over what happened in the actual season 4.

sorry for a not ask/ramble, just wanted to rant on S4 because i’ve been in a zoey mood lately.

Hating Season 4 is always valid.

I would argue that everyone degraded, not just Zoey, but you're right that she was the least likeable to begin with which made her almost completely unwatchable.

I will say that I think people (not you personally, just as a fandom) focus too much on Sean's decision to leave and not the writers' failure to like...try. One of the funniest scenes to me is in Rumor of Love when Michael is apologising to James for being a dick and he starts talking about how he and Chase had known each other since they were twelve and James is like "I get it" like oh! Well then! Emotional scene over. You could have had Michael continue talking about this bushy-haired kid comforting him when he found him crying under a bed, already homesick and missing his parents or something. Not really like having it would have been out of place when S3 had a dead grandma and whatnot. But nah. James gets it, we can move on.

I agree though, actually focusing on, idk, the title character and how she feels about her own love interest would have been nice. Even just one episode of her saying "I miss Chase, my best friend" would have been good (also you couldn't get Sean to record a phone call or two when he was filming Trading Places?? Another webcam cameo? Something?). Even if Chase hadn't been mentioned at all (aka what happened) but Chasing Zoey had actually been good I feel like neither of us would be here now, talking about the show. Z101 was always the Nick/Dan show that needed a reunion/reboot/something the most because it was so unsatisfying, and that's entirely down to S4. There is about a 0.01% chance 102 delivers on that though.

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branw3lls · 1 year

Text

various clockwork angel thoughts

-listening to the audiobook so i can get through everything before chain of thorns. i’ve both read and listened to the infernal devices books so many times, and prefer to read but i have a deadline baby! miss elizabeth bennet herself, jennifer ehle, narrating is so fun. her choice to give gabriel a goofy ass lisp is so fucking nuts but i respect her giving us variety in her accents

-thomas tanner making me sad this time for some reason! never cared too much about him before but the bit about how thomas and will were so close before jem arrived, shadow hunter and the servant boy

-charlotte always worried and henry always making soothing noises, i think this is mentioned like 20 times in 3 books

-holy water, holy water and blood

-i would read a brother enoch novella

-i never really appreciate how much i like tessa as our protagonist. she strikes a really perfect balance for me. i’m never annoyed with her, i love her i get her choices, i’m so FOND of her, i want her happy, i want her to have it all. she could very easily be boring at any moment but never is

-god this would make such a fun show! will it ever happen

-ok now how the fuck did balios and xanthos the horses become magic horses who can take a carriage places without a driver??? thomas or cyril always has to drive in TID but in TLH these horses are on autopilot! i’ve never seen cassie answer this in an ask and maybe i’ll find it this time in my re-read but please let me know if you know because it’s so fucking funny to me

- forgot about the mention of guns and why they can’t use them as weapons against demons and that henry has been trying to get them to work even back then and then we got to see that come back in tlh

-jessamine rules, truly so so mean and so so funny. i can’t believe jessie has just been hanging out as a ghost for 24 years

-i want to see grownup sophie and will hanging out. they are so funny in this book. sophie hates his guts

-jem and charlotte also have a dynamic i love. jem supports and listens probably more than anyone else in the institute

-drama queen will makes me wonder what it would be like if we got midnight heir version of james. i do really love the james herondale we have but would LOVE to see what cassie was originally do with the melodrama

-i think i also love this series the most bc i don’t love faerie/ the fae or seelie queen/ court drama and there’s practically none to be found

- i love everyone i love these people i love their children and i don’t want to see them sad EVER AGAIN

-are we gonna see tessa use her power in chain of thorns? i know tlh is not about the parents but i do think they’re all going to play a larger part in events or be in peril and have to be saved by their kids or something in that vain

#meg re-reads #thoughts etc #clockwork prince is my fave so always happy to dive back in #these are not coherent just my thoughts on a hasty re-read #these aren't entertaining in anyway but i just need to write some things down

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barnes-n-nobles · 3 years

Text

Youre My Path (SMUT)

Yandere Bucky being crazy, possessive, and DARK!

TW-Mentions on non-con, drugging, stalking, and overall dark behavior. A little bit of knife play as well.

Smut SMUT SMUT

Let me know what y’all think

Today was just another boring ordinary day. You had to go to the store and stock up on some groceries that you had been planning on getting but you lacked the will power to do so. You opened your phone and looked at the time. Ugh, I need to go before they close you thought to yourself as you managed to peel yourself off of your comfy sofa. You got ready and headed towards the nearest super market.

Lately youve been having some weird feelings, as if someone is constantly watching you. You always shake it off though, because nothing ever happens to you. You always get home safe and sound. Today was a little more intense though, as if you could almost hear someone breathing behind you when you were walking to the store. Relieved to have made it inside, you grabbed your cart and started your trip through the empty isles of the store. You loved and hated to come at night, it made you feel at peace knowing there there wouldn’t be annoying ass kids and angry moms yelling at them to behave. No people blocking the isles with their carts and most importantly, no need to run into someone you knew. The only reason you hated it, was because you didn’t want to get kidnapped and left for dead.

As you made your way to the bread isle, you had that feeling again. You felt like someone was behind you, you stopped dead in your tracks to see if anyone would walk past you. You pretended to look at the merchandise and you slowly turned around to see if there was anyone there. You looked both ways, and sure enough there was nothing. You rolled your eyes and kept it moving. As your trip started coming to an end you decided to stop by the makeup isle, needing a couple of items that you would use for your upcoming date.

Usually you didn’t try this hard but you figured you would give it a shot. All the past times you went on dates they would disappear after your first date. You weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t try hard enough or if they simply weren’t feeling your vibe. As your mind trailed off you accidentally ran into another person with your cart, completely snapping you out of your mind. A broad man, fell to his knee. “Oh my god!!! I’m so sorry. Are you ok? God I’m so clumsy please forgive me” you said frantically as you started to help him up. He lifted his head up to meet your gaze, big blue eyes % bore%% into your own. Your eyes started to trail from his eyes, to his lips, and up again to his perfectly sculpted face. You were mesmerized, you had never seen such a handsome man. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it, y/n” he said quickly getting up and walking off with a visible smirk on his face. You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion, knowing damn well he did not just say your name. You werent exactly sure if your mind was playing tricks on you or if he really said what you think he had said. You got up quickly, still in shock but hoping that it was really your mind playing tricks on you. Hesitantly you continued to shop, even though there was a little voice in your head telling you to get the hell out of that store.

Bucky POV

FUCK she’s so beautiful, he thought to himself. The way you stared at him, it was clear you wanted him the way he wanted you. This was the moment that he had been waiting for ever since he laid eyes on you. He had never been this close to you, it was like a dream come true. You smelled like candy, your beautiful e/c eyes meeting his. Just how he had imagined but better. The way you apologized made him hard. Just think of how submissive my y/n will be to me mmmm I’m going to devour her in every way possible he thought to himself, smirking.

Bucky ran into you at a coffee shop near your house. It was love at first sight for him. He watched you interact with your friends, smile, laugh, and it was like a match made in heaven for him. He knew he needed you to smile for him, laugh for him, and live for him. He followed you home that night. Making sure you wanted to be safe, of course. But his monthly visits turned to weekly and then turned to daily. He eventually managed to get into your home. You left a space key under your mat, and he felt so happy yet disappointed that you would endanger yourself like that. “When we live together, I’ll make sure you don’t make silly mistakes like this” he said to himself as he got into your home.

He went through your house just browsing, seeing if anything interesting caught his eye. He then made it into your room and continued to look through your things. He found your panties next to your bed and quickly grabbed them and put him in his picked for him to enjoy later. He also took some pictures of you, to also enjoy later.

You were his new routine and he enjoyed every second of it. As time went on he would keep tabs on you, absolutely hating it when you went on dates. He was consumed with jealousy and couldn’t believe anyone would dare lay a finger on you. He knew that this would not fly and he had to make sure to get rid of any roadblocks that got in his way. Bucky murdered them and everytime he did he felt relieved, almost happy knowing that he was that much closer to you.

After his encounter with you, Bucky walked off into the parking lot, one car over from yours, slipping into the drivers seat. His mind started to go wild. He needed you so badly. He wished he could have taken you right then and there. How he wished he could be inside you, your soft moans begging him to make you feel good. His cock soon started to throb at the thought of you. He leaned back in his seat taking a pair of your panties out from his pocket. He brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply, moaning as he exhaled. “Fuck Y/n...you make me so horny...I’m going to fuck the shit out of you when you’re here baby just you wait”.

Wasnt long before he pulled out his dick, stroking it hard. His hips bucking into his hand wishing it was your pussy. He started to think about how beautiful your pretty mouth would be around his dick, how good your tongue would feel swiveling around his tip. Just as he was about to cum, he stopped. He growled and threw his head back lowly moaning your name. “Fuck...I cant take this anymore. I need her” He quickly tucked himself back in and relaxed.

All you could think about was how that guy knew your name. It kept replaying in your head and it didn’t make sense. You headed to your car and started to load everything in. “Hello my Y/n” you heard someone say in a low deep voice. You quickly turned around, your heart starting to beat a little faster. “Umm. Do I know you?” You asked. Bucky sighed and started to walk towards you. “Not yet doll but you will” a smirk on his face once again. You backed up as he took steps forward. “Don’t come any closer, or I’m calling the police”.

Bucky pressed himself against your body, his hands snaking their way to your hips. His face now pressed against your neck. “No you wont Princess, I know you like this. I can tell by the way that you’re breathing that you want me to keep going” his low voice going straight to your core. “N-no please...stop I ..” you tried pushing him off but you started to feel so weak. You had not noticed that Bucky had used something to drug you. All you felt was your body going limp and you falling into his arms.

Bucky smiled as you fell into him, placing a soft kiss on your temple. He noticed that someone was coming over so he quickly pressed your body to your car, and grabbed your face, kissing you. The person walking, walked a little faster as they were feeling a little awkward. Perfect he thought to himself. He placed you into the back to his car, resting your head to a pillow he had just bought and covering you with his sweater. He quickly drove off, leaving all your things by your car.

Your eyes opened, your head pounding. Wherever you were it was dark but comfortable. You groaned as you started to fully wake up, slowly sitting up. Your left hand felt heavy, you tried pulling it and you heard a chain. You yanked your hand hard again, making a loud sound. Bucky heard the noise coming from your guy’s room and he smiled and quickly got up making his way to you.

“Baby you’re awake now” Bucky excitedly said

“What’s going on..why are you doing this to me, where am I?”

“You’re home doll, with me”

“But I don’t know you” you cried softly

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. I’ve been looking after you for a while now and it’s been a pleasure but I'm so glad that I finally have you all to myself, just how it was always meant to be”

He started to get on the bed climbing towards you. You backed up as he came towards you, your back was now against the wall, pinning yourself between the cold wall and his broad body. His hand going to the back of your neck, bringing you close to him, your lips almost touching his.

“I’ve waited a life time for this, to have you here with me. You make me crazy and I would sacrifice the world for you. Now that you’re all mine, I won’t ever loose you” he closed the gap between you two, his lips desperately locking into yours. Kissing you passionately, he was hungry and desperate. You turned your head to the side, breaking the kiss.

“This isn’t the way Bucky, this isn’t right. You need to let me go” you begged. Bucky smiled and looked down moving back away from you. It made you feel relieved that he was not too mad due to your actions. He slowly got up from the bed and went over to his dresser, rummaging through some things.

“Bucky...maybe we are in different paths right now, maybe in the future we will be together but now right now, not like this...please Bucky listen to me”, hoping that he would have a little sympathy, you used his name to make it more personal.

“You know , y/n...just because you say we are on different paths doesn’t mean it’s true” he grabbed something and started to walk towards you again. This time his metal arm reached out to pull you by your leg to the edge of the bed, giving you whiplash. He quickly climbed on top of you, pinning your arms above your head with his metal arm and pulling out a syringe with his other hand.

You quickly started to wiggle around trying to get him off you. Shaking your head, “no no please stop no”. Buckys eyes had a hint of madness to them, dark and disturbing. “Don’t worry these don’t hurt, it will make you feel better I promise”. He quickly injected it to you and you soon started to feel get hot, with a tingling sensation “This will loosen you up a bit, it’ll make you relax so that we can enjoy eachother baby”

His lips made their way onto your neck, kissing and licking you all over. Your heart started to race, your eyes closing, soft moans escaping your lips, “n-no..” Bucky grunted as his erection started to press against your clothed pussy. His hips bucking forward, dry humping you. He lowered down to your ear, whispering, “ cant you see what you do to me. You’re so sexy and sensual you’re almost making me cum in my pants with your adorable moans, my love. As much as love to hear you right now, I want you to moan and scream my name y/n...begging me to fuck you harder”

All his words, combined with his dry humping made you soaking wet. As much as you hated this you couldn’t help but moan louder. His cock pressing against you was not enough and you needed more. You tried your hardest to resist, “G-get a..way f-from me..” you managed to choke out, trying to not moan anymore and trying to push him off with your body. Suddenly Bucky got angry. Hating how you were fighting him. He tore off your thin leggings in a fast single motion, revealing your soaked panties. He took out his knife and pressed it against you, earning a frantic gasp but you stopped moving. “Stop fighting me doll, for your own good because I swear I will fucking destroy you. I’ve waited too long for this, don’t push me because you won’t like the way I punish you.But......if you behave I’ll make sure to take care of you..real good care darling” he said as his knife traced your body. He grabbed your shirt roughly and ripped it off, slicing your bra open as well.

His mouth watered at the sight of your delicious breasts, making his cock twitch with excitement. His knife trailed down to your panties, making you whimper. “You’re so delicious kitten, I’m going to fuck you so hard. I cant wait till my cock is right in here” he motioned and tapped your clit with his knife. He roughly grabbed them and ripped them open instantly. He threw his knife to the side and quickly started to rub your clit making your back arch with your eyes closed. Your moans now filling up the room. Bucky smiled and took one of your nipples into his mouth, making you quiver and move your hips down into his hand. “Mmm, I knew you wanted this..wanted me...only me” he growled against your chest. “F-fuck Bucky...keep going please”. You hated yourself for saying that but you couldn’t help it, you were in pure ecstasy.

Just as you were about to reach your orgasm, he removed himself from you. Making you whine and buck your hips up, wanting and needing his touch once again. “Don’t worry kitten, I’m not done with you yet”. He quickly undressed and positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing his tip on your clit, making you mewl. “Tell me what you want doll...tell me what you want from me” he coaxed. You didn’t answer, as you were too embarrassed to say anything. His metal hand went to your neck, squeezing it hard. “Tell me y/n..tell me what you want NOW” he yelled, releasing his grip from your throat.

“Fuck me Bucky...please” you finally said. “I don’t think I heard you doll, say it loud and clear”. “FUCK ME BUCKY PLEASE I NEED YOU...PLEASE”. You finally broke. You needed him now, there was nothing in the world you wanted more than to have his cock inside of you, his lips on your skin and his hands all over you. You were finally filled with his big cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy. His hands on your neck, choking you but not too hard like before. His hips snapping in and out of you making your body shake.

“Such an obedient slut, MY obedient slut. I’m going to break you and bend you to my will. Making you all mine. I’ll make you crave my touch, my attention, my voice. You’re going to live only for me, doll. Only for me” he growled as he pounded into you, rubbing your clit making you loose it. He then started to feel you reach your end, making him moan, “cum on my dick baby...cum for me. Let go” he cooed as he angled himself to reach into you deeper. That’s when you felt your orgasm hit you, your body started to shake, waves of pleasure surging through your body. “Mmm Buckyyyy” you moaned. Making him loose it as well, he coated your insides in his thick warm cum. Pumping himself in and out slowly. Gasping for air.

Fuck he was such a God, he made you want more of him. It was the first night and you were already going crazy for his touch. You wanted him to keep going keep doing you however he wanted, but most importantly to keep pleasuring you. Bucky finally pulled out and laid next to you, looking at your beautiful face. He brought his lips to yours and gave you a soft kiss. “The drug hasn’t worn off baby, don’t think this is over. We’re going until we cant no more, doll.” He said against your lips, flipping you over for round two.

573 notes · View notes

beauty-and-passion · 3 years

Text

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

________________________

2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

________________________

3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

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4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

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5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

________________________

6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

________________________

7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

youtube

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

youtube

________________________

9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

________________________

10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

323 notes · View notes

afriendlyblackhottie · 3 years

Text

Kin

Summary: Bucky’s been acting weird and you can’t help it when you expect the worst.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Black!Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, swearing, breeding kink, daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation, GGFIL (you’ll see), arguing, cheating accusations

(A/N: this is different but I had fun writing it. And isn’t that what matters. Reblog follow like 💜✌🏾)

Tagging: @titty-teetee @zaddychris @queenoftheworldisdead @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove @mariahthelioness29 @donutloverxo @little-baby-vixen @mochamaniacbabe @brattycherubwrites @iam-laiya @whiskey-cokenfanfic @doloreshazes

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Bucky had never given you a reason to not trust him. He’d been nothing, but the perfect boyfriend now fiancé for the two years you’d been together. Sure it was a little difficult dating an Avenger mostly because you worried about him coming back to you, but still being with him was kind of perfect.

The first time you started to sort of question things was when a phone number fell out of his pocket while you were doing laundry. Some girls name written on a napkin. You didn’t want to jump to any conclusions especially since it’s not like he wasn’t meeting new people everyday because of work. Who knows it was probably nothing.

Then he came home all late that day smelling like vanilla. You know it was bad, but you tried to check his phone while he was sleeping. Not that it worked because your super assassin fiancé was a very light sleeper and woke up before you could even try.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked, in that sleepy voice.

“Oh it’s nothing,” you said, playing it off by stroking his hair. You know you should have said something, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

All he did was smile and kiss you before pulling you close. Like everything was fine. You know you should have asked him right then. The words had been on the tip of your tongue.

But you didn’t ask. Instead you let him roll on top of you before he started making out with you. Would a man that’s cheating be fucking your mouth with his tongue like that. Probably.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked with a sigh, putting his forehead to yours.

You shrugged, looking down at his mouth so you didn’t have to look him in the eye. “It’s nothing.” Then you out a fake smile on to really sell it.

“Come on,” he whispered. “You know I know you better than that. If somethings wrong you can tell me. Daddy’ll take care of you, Doll.”

You made the mistake of looking into his blue eye that seemed to be seeing into your soul. There was always this gentleness towards you. That he seemed to save for you especially.

“I’m fine,” you replied before rolling over on your side away from him. Bucky sighed again before wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Hey, so I’m busy tomorrow, but when I get home why don’t we do something?” He asked into your shoulder before pressing a kiss to it. “Just the two of us?”

You nodded, but didn’t reply out loud because if you did he’d hear that you were crying. You’d rather not deal with it.

So the next day you went to get some stuff done. Grocery shopping and shit. On the way home you passed by this coffee shop, recognizing his car as some girl got into the passanger seat.

Your stomach felt like it was doing fucking somersaults on the way home. You tried to keep yourself busy. Not wanting to think about Bucky or his lying cheating face.

When the door opened, you could hear him set his keys down on the table beside the door. You were making dinner because you were hungry. He could worry about himself.

“Fuck it smells good in here, Baby,” he said, coming to hug you from behind before kissing your cheek.

You didn’t say anything at first. Instead you continued to cook and even though he noticed how quiet you were, he didn’t let go of you.

“What? No hello?” He asked, kissing your neck.

You tried to shrug him off, but no you just had to be engaged to a super assassin who was strong as fuck.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You shook your head because you were pretty sure if you’d say anything you’d explode. Not that he wouldn’t deserve it. You were trying to keep an ounce of dignity instead of blowing up like your brain was telling you too. “Nothing.”

Bucky leaned up against the counter beside you, bringing your face up so he could look at you. “Baby, I know you better than that.” He tried to smile to get you to open up then it faltered when he saw that you were clearly not in the mood. “C’mon. Just tell me what’s up.”

“Nothing, James.” You turned off the stove because now you’d lost your appetite. As you tried to walk away he grabbed your hand.

At hearing his first name, he crinkled his nose. “Baby,” he whined all pouty, “please. I let it go last night, but you’ve never not talked to me. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is that we’re supposed to be getting married in two months and you’re cheating on me.”

Bucky looked so taken aback. His face getting all scrunched up. “What?”

“Oh so now you don’t know what I’m talking about?” You scoffed. “I saw you.”

“Saw me doing what?” He scoffed out a laugh. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Bullshit!” You yelled. “You’re lying to me!”

His jaw clenched as you raised your voice. “Watch your tone,” he commanded. “I didn’t cheat on you. I have no idea what you’re even talking about.”

“Really? Well then who the fuck is Becca?” You finally asked.

Bucky pulled away and you finally turned to face him. “How did you...” he trailed off.

“So, it’s true. You’re cheating on me?” You asked with a sniffle.

He shook his head. “No! Of course not, Baby,” he said.

“You’re lying! I saw you, James. I fucking saw you with her!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “Let’s just calm down so we can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk. I want you out.”

He shook his head. “No, Baby,” he said. “I know how this looks, but I promise it’s not like that. I’m not... I’m not cheating on you. I’d never.”

“Fine then explain.”

Bucky hesitated. Closing his eyes like he was trying to find the right words.

“If you don’t tell me then I want you out.”

It wasn’t like this was the first time you and Bucky had ever fought. This was just the first time you’d ever done this. Usually when he messed up, he’d buy you flowers or kiss you until you forgave him. This time you needed to let him know that none of that would work.

He scrunched up his face before finally looking at you. “Okay. Becca is...” he took a deep breath. “Becca’s my great granddaughter.”

You also finally understood what it meant for it to be so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Bucky’s eyes bore into yours as he gave his answer.

“Can we just sit and talk?” He asked.

You nodded and he turned off the stove so he could grab your hand to lead you over to the couch. He sat you down in his lap and you couldn’t help it as you started crying into his chest because you felt like the worlds biggest asshole.

“Hey, Baby, don’t cry,” he said. “Not like you could have known. Hell not like I knew until recently.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked him with tears in your eyes. “We usually tell each other everything.”

“Because... I dunno I was waiting for the right time. It’s kind of hard to go to your fiancé and ‘go hey meet my great granddaughter, Baby.’” He chuckled before wiping your tears. “Or that I have a son and he’s seventy-six.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Seriously?”

Bucky nodded and laughed. “I know right. It’s...” he sighed, “it’s so weird, but I’ve been hanging out with them and its been kind of great actually. Having a family. Hate that I didn’t get to see him grow up.”

“God I’m... such a bitch.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You would have never guessed,” he replied, placing a kiss to the side of your head. “So, yeah. Becca is my great granddaughter. I was picking her up from work. She’s seventeen.” He looked down then at you again. “I just... I wanna be in their lives. Make up for lost time.”

You nodded. “I get that.”

“I should have told you. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want you to get freaked out.”

“Bucky, I’d never get freaked out over something like that,” you said. “Things are different for you and I wanna be as understanding as possible.”

He smiled. “I know, but doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know.” You put your head into his neck. “God I’m such an asshole.”

“No you’re not. Any woman would have assumed the worst like you did. I didn’t give you any reason not to.”

Your lip trembled as tears fell from your eyes again. “I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“I know, Baby,” he whispered.

“So, how did you find out?” You asked.

“Becca came looking for me. Saw stuff about the Avengers and saw me. My son James, his mom told him all about me so...”

You smiled, but you were still all teary eyed from the way you’d talked to him just now. “I’m so happy for you, Baby.”

“Yeah, well, they’re your family now too. If you still wanna get married.”

“Of course I do! I was just... I was scared to lose you so I freaked out.”

Bucky kissed your cheek. “You’re never gonna lose me, Doll. Besides, if anything this all just made me wanna be with you more. All I can think about is making babies with you.”

You laughed. “You would.”

“It’s true. All this just made me realize how bad I wanna have a family with you. I just... I mean our wedding is two months away, would it be so bad if we started trying now?”

You shrugged and he smiled before leaning into kiss you.

“Tell me you don’t want me to put a baby in this pussy and I’ll back off until the wedding,” he whispered into your ear.

“Daddy, I...”

You could feel him growing harder against your ass as he started grinding you into him. Fuck he knew how to get you to that point. You hated how it took pretty much nothing for you to want him to fuck the shit out of you.

“Tell me you want it,” he whispered in your ear. “Tell me you wanna have my baby.”

You sighed so deeply because his breath against your year was making you feel fucking feral. “I want it.” It was like you couldn’t even stop yourself from saying it.

“What do you want. Tell Daddy what you want.”

You looked up at him with those big eyes. “I want you to put a baby in me.”

“Yeah? I wanna make you a mommy, Doll,” he said, before putting his metal hand around your neck as he leaned you into him. He helped you pull your legging down until you could kick them off. Then kissed your shoulder as he spread your legs. “You want Daddy to put a baby in this little pussy, Baby?” He asked now that he’d pushed your panties to the side so he could play with your clit.

“Daddy,” you whimpered, leaning back so you could connect your lips to his. He started doing that thing again where his tongue fucked your mouth.

All that plus with the way he was touching you was making you forget all about how embarrassed you felt for accusing him of such a terrible thing. You should know that your daddy would never hurt you like that.

“Gotta teach you a lesson now,” he said. “Don’t you ever accuse me of something like that again. I should fucking spank you.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, your pussy feeling all tingly from the way his fingers were rubbing you making you let out a moan. “Daddy!”

“That’s it, Slut. Don’t you ever threaten to take this pussy from me again. It’s mine.” He growled into your ear and it made your stomach tighten especially when he started nibbling on it.

You nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Good little slut,” he said. “You know better. This is mine.” Bucky’s fingers now dipped into your pussy making you let out a whine.

“Yes, Daddy!” You mewled as he stuffed your pussy with his thick fingers. Metal hand going from your neck to your tits.

“You’re lucky I can’t wait to fuck you or else I’d be punishing you, Doll,” he said as he groped you.

You leaned back so you could kiss him again. Reached between the two of you so you could take hold of his dick through his pants. Enjoying how hard he felt through the denim. “I know, Daddy.”

“You’re so lucky I wanna cum in this pussy instead.” Thats when he tore his hands out of you before forcing you to stand up. Bucky undid his pants, pushing them and his boxers off before pulling you back down.

He didn’t waste any time in sinking you down on his dick. Hands on your ass as he helped you move up and down. “Who’s pussy is this?”

“Yours,” you whimpered. “All yours.”

Bucky grabbed the hem of your top so he could pull it over your head, watching as your tits bounced. “That’s right, Doll. Not gonna pull that shit again.”

You shook your head and then threw it back as you moaned. Bucky pushed you to the side against the couch before getting up so he could climb on top of you.

“Fucking love this juicy pussy,” he said. His metal arm coming to grab at your thigh as he bent your leg over his shoulder.

He thrusted in and out of you, shoving himself inside of you as his dick stretched you out. You tugged at his t-shirt that he hadn’t taken off. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Your head was bent back against the couch as you let out this low moan. “Fuck, Bucky!” Your eyes were watering as you started to feel your orgasm coming to you.

“That’s it, Baby, I know you want it. Want Daddy to cum in your pussy?”

You nodded as he got up so he could hold your throat again because he knew how much you loved it. “God, yes. I’m gonna cum.”

“Yeah?” He groaned. “Gonna cum on Daddy’s dick?” He was all in your face.

You reached up so you could tug on his hair. “Yes! Fuck, please.”

“Good because I’m gonna cum in you. Daddy’s gonna gonna fill you up, Y/N.”

You cried out wrapping your legs around him as you came so hard. Maybe it was from all that bullshit and you almost ruining everything because fuck it felt so damn good. Especially with the way he was fucking you through it.

That was when he got closer to you. His balls slapping against your ass as he started getting really deep into you. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Daddy’s gonna cum in this pussy, Baby. I know that’s what you need, Baby. Need Daddy to keep you pregnant.”

“Uh huh,” you moaned.

“I’m gonna keep getting you pregnant for as long as you can. Make you have so many babies.”

You couldn’t help it as the noises you were making started getting louder. “Yes. Please.”

That’s when his hips stilled as he started to fill you. His seed flooding into your womb for the first time. He put his head into your neck once he started moving them again, trying to make sure he could give you ever last drop.

He laid there on top of you. Breathing all heavy before pressing kisses into your neck again. “Was that our first time without a condom?” He asked.

“Uh huh,” was all you could say. It was like you couldn’t move.

Bucky chuckled seeing you all frozen before yawning and getting off of you. He grabbed you so he could carry you to your room, cradling you in his arms. When he finally laid you down he pulled the comforter over your body, pretty much tucking you in.

He took his shirt off before getting in beside you, “Comfortable?”

“Mhm,” you replied your brain feeling like it couldn’t think.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. You just made my mind into goo,” you grumbled.

Bucky smiled before kissing your nose. “Good.” He held you around your waist. “So,” he breathed, “what do you think about meeting everyone.”

“How much is everyone?” You asked with a smile, turning to him.

“There’s James. And, he had a son also named James and then he had a son named Kyle. He’s twenty-two.” Bucky laughed.

Your jaw dropped. “Jesus.”

He was still laughing. “I know, right. And he looks just like me. It’s kinda scary.” But, there was this softness in his face. It was different than the one he gave you, but there was almost this pride you’d never seen him have before. “Then there’s Becca. She’s so much like me it’s terrifying. She even has a friend like Steve. It’s awful.”

This time you laughed with him. “Would it be bad if I met them?” You asked.

He shook his head. “No. I’ve been wanting you to, they’ve even been asking, but I just... I didn’t wanna freak you out about being a great grandma.”

You pouted, creasing your brow. “Baby, I know how strange your life is to say the least. I’ve kinda made peace with the idea that there’s going to be random shit popping up. Kinda what I signed up for when I agreed to marry an old man.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped, before he patted your butt. “You’re such a brat,” he said before kissing you. Then he pulled you away. “Wait I didn’t tell you about Noel and Kimmy.”

You laughed and then wrapped your arms around him as he told you about the two youngest kids. God you felt like such an asshole now. Maybe a blowjob later would make it up to him.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x black!reader #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #Sebastian Stan x black!reader

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00qtrash · 3 years

Text

So as I've mentioned to a few people on here already I have a LOT of thoughts about the Oberhauser storyline in Spectre and Blofeld NTTD. I'll talk about Spectre first and then put the NTTD stuff under a readmore.

Like I know that a lot of people really don't like the whole Ernst Blofeld is Franz Oberhauser thing and I totally get that. It felt a bit cheap to use the name Blofeld right at the end after knowing him for this other significant and important reason throughout Spectre - being James' adoptive brother - when really the name Blofeld doesn't mean jack shit to DC!Bond, only to the audience.

I also don't like the ~~oooo spooky everything is Spectre~~ crap in the film -like what if Bond had had a boring job in the navy, would Franz still be on his ass?- but I'm talking about the characters really, not the plot itself.

I absolutely LOVE the addition of the Oberhausers into DC!Bond's childhood and I love love love how the relationship between Bond and Oberhauser played out in the films because I am an absolute sucker for meta.

The scene presented to us in Spectre is that James, having just lost his parents age 12, is whisked away under the guardianship of Hannes Oberhauser. Hannes had a son, Franz, who was two years older than James, and completely considered James to be and treated him like a second son. Franz was already pretty crazy, hated that, was extremely jealous, and killed his father out of jealousy.

Them meeting again as adults in Spectre isn't the interesting part to me.

The interesting part is the questions it raises about James' childhood experiences, about the trauma he's carrying.

Did he know Hannes and Franz before his father died? I can't remember if any relationship was ever stated - I usually go for godfather out of convenience, but had they met?

Did Hannes actually show preferential treatment towards Bond, or was it all in Franz' head? Did Franz not get along with Hannes that well anyway, and the arrival of James highlighted it? Was it because at 14/15, Hannes considered him to be "grown up" where he saw James as just a boy?

On the day of the avalanche that killed Hannes and "killed" Franz, where was James? Why was he not with them? Was Hannes taking Franz on this hike alone to make up for all the time he had spent with James recently? Were they nearby?

Did James see the avalanche from the house, or would he not have known? How long did he spend waiting in the house on his own, waiting for Hannes to come back when he never would? Did he go out looking for them? Did he eventually give up and go find help, or did someone come to find him?

And in adult life, did whatever Franz did to him actually bother him until Franz suddenly came back from the dead? It doesn't appear so, but we really have very few insights into his inner world in the films so there's no way to know for sure whether or not he'd heard Franz' taunt of "cuckoo" in his head at any point between the age of 13 and the events of Spectre.

NTTD SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

But in No Time to Die we do get a window into James' inner world like never before, and we do get a clue about how he feels about the Oberhauser fiasco.

In the scene where Bond goes to meet Blofeld in prison, it's incredibly dramatic. They have him approaching at about half a mile an hour, locked down in umpteen layers of security and literally tied down to his chair. The music creates one hell of a lot of drama - and it's weird. It's weird because we've already seen the main villain in one of the directly preceding scenes, and he was dealt with in a very calm, quietly menacing way. Just like he was portrayed in the prologue.

Sure, it could be because of Madeleine's panic about having to use the nanobot-infused perfume on him somehow, but it doesn't feel that way. The drama doesn't end when she leaves. The anxiety, the apprehension, the panic, is clearly shared by both her, because of the perfume, and Bond. And Bond doesn't know about all of that.

So why is he scared? Why is Bond scared of a man tied up and locked down so hard he could barely move?

Franz is able to get to James in a way that nobody else we have seen in the entire series of DC!Bond films. Not le Chiffre "you just scratched my balls" or Silva "what makes you think this is my first time". Franz has a way of winding James up to his absolute limit using very little to nothing at all.

And most interestingly for me, in this scene James gets wound past his limit. The professional veneer completely breaks, and we see a side to Bond that I think we very rarely see.

"Die," he whispers in Franz' ear, and strangles him. He bluffs to Tanner about how he knew what he was doing, but if Bill hadn't intervened he would have killed him there. Would have just strangled him to death in cold blood, while he was in chains. We see him kill a lot of people, but not like this. We don't see rage bubbling over like that. Bond is rarely /scary/. He was very scary then.

It made me think - what happened back in Austria when he was 12 to make it possible for James to still be so fucking terrified of Franz?

How far did it go - was it just taunting and implied threat from being two years older and presumably a lot bigger? Actual threats?

We know Franz is a psychopath - did he physically hurt James? Or was it all psychological even then?

Was the reason James didn't seem that upset over Hannes dying that it freed him from Franz too?

They brush over it in the film, but from this character meta point of view I am so, SO glad that Franz died from Bond's hands, even if not directly from being strangled. It was ignominious and quick and completely robbed him of any plot mystique that he enjoyed in Spectre. Just a man, just an Oberhauser. Nothing special about him to haunt James now.

#00q #james bond #no time to die #nttd #nttd spoilers #blofeld #franz oberhauser #spectre #if anyone actually reads all of this i will be amazed and very grateful #rambles

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oitommothetease · 3 years

Text

Invisible String (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Warning: Sexual assault, mention of an anxiety attack.

Word Count: 1641

It turns out you definitely can't do this. Working in retail sucks, majorly. Customers are so awful to you and other employees as well. You didn't make the products, you don't control the prices, then why should you listen to them rant about it all day?

This job was from 9 am to 4 pm, which reminded you a lot of your previous job. By the time you got home, you were exhausted mentally and physically. Your current schedule was eerily similar to your previous lifestyle, which left you with no time to work on your book.

You felt like you were stuck in an insufferable loop that you just can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try. You thought about Mr. Barnes a lot, too. If only you weren't so egoistic and been a little nicer, then maybe you could have had that job.

With each passing day, you were becoming desperate. The only reason why you didn't run to Mr. Barnes a week ago was your pride. A pride that would not let you bow down to that rude, egoistic asshole.

It's like the universe could hear your thoughts and the devil himself walked through the doors of the store. Fuck, he can't see you here. He's going to think you're some nut job who's chasing stupid dreams after having an excellent degree. At least that's what your parents think.

You were about to run and hide behind an aisle when the voice you knew too well called out for you.

"Hey, do you know where I could find-"

"You," He said, without an emotion. "What are you doing here?"

You pointed towards the badge with the name tag on your shirt and mouthed working.

"Why?"

"Why?" You pretended to think, "I don't know, I interviewed for this other job about a week ago, but the boss was an ass."

"You lied to me," he stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

"Gee, sorry, dad."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?" You questioned.

" Diverging a question with a joke," He answered with an unaffected tone like he was studying you and your reaction.

"You know who I am." he stated. It should have been a question, but both of you were aware of what he meant.

"A vampire?" You mocked. He didn't look like one though, but hey, neither did Edward nor Stefan. But God, those steel-blue eyes could drink you up and you wouldn't complain. Focus.

For the first time you saw an emotion on his face that wasn't unaffected or bored, he was confused. Of course, he was confused, you were referencing twilight to a mob boss (you think, you weren't sure, but that's all you could gather from all the articles you found about him online).

"I need that job," you confessed. " I know it's not very convincing, but I need you to trust me-"

He raised a brow at that and his lips turned into a smirk. God, you wished you could swipe off that smirk from his stupidly handsome face.

"But you don't trust me, " you stated dejectedly and started turning around. "You wanted something? "

In an instant, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks. You ignored the involuntary shudder that ran through you and immediately yanked your hand out of his grasp.

You turned around and were about to give him a piece of your mind about how he shouldn't just come to your place of work and touch you without consent. He clearly guessed your thoughts and cut in.

"Clint Barton, the manager, he will tell you everything you need to know about bartending and handling the customers."

Did he just hire you? What changed between this and your previous meeting with him?

And just like that, he left. There was a part of you that wanted to say fuck off I don't need your help, but you knew better, so you went to that club later that evening. You found the Manager, Clint. He told you he was expecting your arrival and that made you feel weird because Mr. Barnes was totally opposite the day you met.

Your new job required you to be at work from 8 pm to 3 am, which was ideal for you. You usually reach home and pass out till 4 in the morning and wake up around noon. This schedule gave you a lot of time to work on your book.

You ended up making friends with some other people that work there as well. Wanda was the smart, sarcastic one that you'd have died to have as a friend in high school. Pietro, her twin brother, was also nice, a bit fast and impatient, but he was nice to you. Peter looked very young, but he knew what he was doing and he'd help you out a lot. That kid had a lot of energy and adrenaline, which surprised you every time he'd be done with work way before you.

You didn't see Mr. Barnes frequently. You saw him one time entering the club, and you tried to give him a smile which he ignored and went straight to his office upstairs. And then you decided to ignore him as well. It wasn't like you to be petty, okay, maybe you were being petty, but in your defense, he started it.

You were finishing up cleaning the table and were about to call it a day when a man you didn't recognize, probably wasn't a regular, came in asking for a drink.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed." You told him politely.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

You wanted to refuse him again, but you stopped yourself when he came into your sight. He didn't look like the kind of man who'd take your no seriously. He looked just as intimidating as Mr. Barnes, even more, but Mr. Barnes knew his boundaries, whereas this man in front of you evidently didn't. You could tell this by the way his gaze was slowly taking your body in and stopping a little longer at your cleavage.

You wanted to cringe and curse yourself for choosing to wear a top like that in a place filled with drunk men. The smarter part of your brain told you that he can go fuck himself, and you shouldn't think about men when you dress up. Women are entitled to wear whatever they want to and fuck men and people who tell them otherwise.

Carefully, you made his drink and handed it to him. His hand lingered on yours while taking the glass from you, and you wanted to just throw the drink across his face. His gaze remained on your chest even when you fixed your top and coughed twice to call his behavior out.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, eyes still on your chest.

Is this guy for real? , you thought.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate and I think you should leave now because I have to call it a night." you rejected politely, raising your hand towards the door, hoping he'd leave.

He chuckled darkly, his stare still drinking in your body as if you were a piece of meat, and it made you very, very uncomfortable. He obviously wasn't taking no for an answer, and you had no clue what to do. You were the only person left, and you didn't even know who to ask for help.

"Come on, baby girl," he said, walking towards you and forcefully snaking his hands around your waist to settle on your hips. " Don't make this harder than it should be. "

"No!" you yelled, pushing him away and creating some distance between you.

"Hard way it is then," he decided, walking towards you and forcefully holding the hem of your shirt in his hands to remove it. You struggled, yelled, and pushed him off you again. He furiously lunged forward towards you and hit you hard across the face. "Fucking bitch."

"Rumlow!" a voice boomed from behind you, and you hated yourself for being in such a vulnerable state. As much as you tried not to, tears welled up in your eyes and you hated being the helpless damsel in distress.

"Get the fuck out of here." the familiar voice ordered.

"Chill, Barnes. We were just having a little fun," the man known as Rumlow reasoned nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not my fault if she wears clothes like this."

You were all about feminism and how women should be treated equally with respect despite their attire, but at that moment you hated yourself for choosing that deep-neck shirt this morning.

"I'm not going to chill while you sexually harass my employees, so get the fuck out of here," Mr. Barnes warned again.

You closed your eyes and hoped that maybe this was a shitty dream and you'd wake up in your bed and have an anxiety attack because of the nightmare. You hoped that maybe the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you, so you could just not think about this ever.

You heard two sets of footsteps faintly in the background, one dragging its way away from you and the other rushing towards you. Furthermore, you didn't have it in you to open your eyes and meet the ocean blue ones that you knew were waiting for you.

In your head, you had already taken up the blame. The verdict came out the moment his gaze landed on your chest that it was your fault that you wore this shirt. Of course, if you were thinking right, you would have realized that you were undoubtedly the victim here and Rumlow was an asshole who assaulted you, but in your helpless state, your mind decided you were at fault here.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams

#mobster bucky #mob bucky #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #mobbucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #mob!bucky series #bucky series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes series

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

Note

If Bella was somehow bitten somehow and woke up alone during New Moon, but the Cullens didn't find her (I don't know if this is still 'Edward mercy kills Bella' territory but if it is then maybe her gift knows this and starts blocking Alice) and she became a nomad, would she still do the diet and if so for how long?

This is shockingly in the realm of possibility and not necessarily in the land of Edward mercy killing Bella.

Though there are some dangers Bella would have to avoid somehow for survival.

Bella is Bitten Alone in New Moon

We have one vampire who meets Bella during New Moon and another who with very little difference in the timeline would have run across her: Laurent and Victoria.

In the case of Laurent, he and Bella have a chat, he decides Bella smells delicious and he'll spare her the pain of being slowly murdered by Victoria, and just as he decides to go for it he gets run down and eaten by giant wolves.

Bella survives her vampire encounter.

In the case of Victoria, she never really gets close enough to do damage until the fight between Edward and Victoria and Riley and Seth in Eclipse.

So we have a few ways this could go:

Laurent's a few seconds ahead of Sam and company. He manages to get a good bite in and doesn't crush Bella on impact. He's run off by the wolves and Bella survives.

The problem here is that Bella has now been bitten and there's no coming back for her. It's a tragedy, and the wolves will feel a shared sense of failure and burden that they failed to save her, but she's dead anyway. They have to kill her before she fully turns.

Bella's gift, while powerful, doesn't appear to help in this kind of situation. Though, that said, in her dire need it could suddenly give her the ability to project illusions like we see in Renesmee. Doesn't seem to be how Bella's gift typically rolls, but hey, this is her darkest hour.

Otherwise, Jake could pull his alpha move much earlier in order to save Bella's life. He ignores Sam's order, flees with the turning Bella, and dumps her in the wilderness somewhere with a note from Jake that she must never return to Forks. She wakes up alone, only guessing though not knowing what Jake has done for her, and stares blankly at the wilderness.

If Victoria catches up to Bella, well, it's not looking good. All too likely, Bella dies painfully, and Victoria leaves a video tape of the entire ordeal in the Cullen house for when they eventually return (as they surely will).

Though, that said, the ease with which Victoria accomplishes this and the complete lack of Cullen intervention could catch her off guard. Perhaps... Edward doesn't actually give a rat's ass. That says terrible things about James' needless death, but Victoria's holding this girl hostage. She will die, in the most painful manner imaginable, and the Cullens aren't there.

Victoria might turn Bella out of pity or else turn her as she figures out, in part from Bella, that Bella becoming a vampire is Edward's worst case scenario. However, in that case, it's unlikely Victoria would abandon Bella, so Bella wouldn't be on her own.

Which, I think for this post, makes Jake's alpha sacrifice the most likely path. He dumps Bella's half-vampire body somewhere in nowhere Canada.

Bella After the Bite

Being dumped in the wilderness helps a lot. For one, Bella already has unbelievable control, for another this is Edward's penguin scenario. There is no one else out here for her to eat even if she wanted to.

So, following the diet is easy.

And it's something she'd very much wish to do. Bella sees the world of vampires divided into two types of vampire: the good Cullen vampires who don't eat people and the bad vampires who, well, eat people.

This left such a mark on Bella that she has very little idea of what a vampire even is.

Bella would be horrified at herself if she became a bad vampire. In wanting vampirism she wanted the vampirsim she sees in the Cullens. Bella might be miserable and alone, without a friend in the world, but she would be horrified to choose anything other than the Cullen way of life.

At least, at first.

The Return of the Cullens

There's a few paths for Bella after she's dumped in the middle of nowhere.

Alice sees that Bella's become a vampire, an abandoned newborn, and is wandering aimlessly around the wilderness somewhere. Even though Edward has forbidden contact, this is probably enough to motivate Alice who was genuinely worried.

She likely goes behind Edward's back and tries to find Bella with Jasper and possibly the rest of the Cullens.

Edward, of course, is still in Rio being a miserable saint for leaving precious human Bella.

Eventually, they manage to find her, and there's a lot of miscommunication, very hurt feelings, and heartfelt apologies even from Rosalie because look what happened to this poor girl. Though they each, either reluctantly or more enthusiastically, agreed to leave this was not what they had in mind.

Bella forgives them quite readily, as she did in canon, because she has the self-esteem of a thimble. The Cullens are awed and very grateful, Rosalie would never have forgiven them for this.

It probably takes them both a) a while to decide how best to tell Edward and break the news to him b) a while to get a hold of Edward because he's ignoring all their phone calls.

Eventually they do, it's a shit show, for the purpose of this post we'll say he does not mercy kill Bella. He might actually be feeling too guilty for that. Instead he grovels on the ground constantly, begging Bella's forgiveness, and refuses to enter a relationship with her because he's unworthy.

This undoubtedly upsets Bella, because she's also unworthy and Edward knows it and doesn't love her, but that's not the point of this meta.

In this world, the Cullens keep Cullening after picking Bella up, Bella's adopted into the fold and made Edward's twin sister due to looking the most like him (which, of course, makes them look actually incestuous in high school to add to the Cullen mystique).

With the support of the Cullens, living the Cullen lifestyle, and having the control that Bella has there's no question of ever leaving the diet.

Bella stays on the wagon.

Bella Seeks Out the Denali

Alice is successful and doesn't see Bella's future for whatever reason. Edward will be so proud. Bella is left alone in Canada to eat moose.

Eventually, Bella decides that however great being a vampire is, she's lonely and miserable. She wants companionship.

Well, obviously the Cullens hate her, so even if she could find them they probably never want to see her again. But what about the Denali?

Bella's already in Canada, she could head over to the Denali National Park in Alaska, and surely the least she could do is actually introduce herself.

Of course, the coven sounds blonde, hot, aggressively female, and very intimidating. Tanya's history of wanting to bang Edward has Bella feeling very small and worthless. More, the Cullens may have told the Denali all about how stupid and ugly Bella, Edward's current human girlfriend, is and they've all laughed at her.

However, Bella's so desperate for companionship, for some connection back to her old life, that she goes for it.

She makes it to Alaska, wanders around until she eventually finds the Denali coven, and introduces herself. The Denali are weird assholes, but Bella's so oblivious she actually doesn't notice.

That said, they've had their brush with the law, and Tanya doesn't want a newborn running around by herself. Eleazar also gives a truly pompous, awful, speech about compassion to their fellow man. It's unbearable, Bella finds it charming.

They take Bella in, she can be the dark-haired sister. Her control is so good the three single ladies quickly take her clubbing and encourage her to sleep away her troubles with human men.

Bella quickly finds that, when you're on the vampire end of the equation, the relationship with human thing is kind of gross. These people smell like food, are squishy and overly warm, and have the substance of tofu.

Bella feels even worse about her relationship with Edward.

She sleeps with human men anyway so that the Denali sisters won't judge her/will think she's cool.

They're so proud of her.

Regardless, Bella stays on the diet as the Denali follow the diet. She will likely have a few accidents with her human lovers, and will be inconsolable, but the coven will be there to offer comfort and help her get back on the wagon.

Bella stays on the wagon

Bella's Low Self-Esteem Wins and She Becomes a Hermit

Bella can't return to Forks and she's so ugly, stupid and boring that even though she's a vampire if she met anyone new they'd realize how ugly, stupid, and boring she is.

Better to just forsake society altogether and live with moose.

Bella's able to do this for quite a long time. Years even. And it's... fine. But her life has no purpose nor any direction to it.

She becomes tempted by society. How many years has it been? Has the world changed since she left? Has Forks changed? Is Charlie still alive? Is Renee? What about her classmates?

Bella starts travelling and visiting human cities and, thanks to her control, she does very well.

However, it's very likely that one day she'll slip, she takes her control far too much for granted and all it takes is one mistake.

And that's where Bella starts getting into trouble.

She's horrified at first, of course, and that likely doesn't break her. She gets back on the wagon, but the second time it happens...

There are no consequences to her breaking the diet. She has no companions, no one cares. Why is she living in constant agony, every single day, for people who will one day die anyway? Why is Bella choosing to suffer?

As time goes on, as humans start to mean less and less to her and all the humans that she knew when human herself are dead, Bella starts forgetting the reason that the diet seemed so vital to her existence.

At one point, it stops meaning anything at all, it's just Bella pointlessly choosing to live in agony.

Bella falls off the wagon.

TL;DR I think it'd take a while, at least ten years, but if she becomes a solitary nomad, it would inevitably happen.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #jacob black #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #alice cullen #the cullens #the denali #tanya #eleazar #anti eleazar #meta #headcanon #opinion

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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 3 years

Text

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

Text

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.