i thought i wanted the flashbacks next season of them being silly and in love but now that i think about it, i'd like a collection of all the times aziraphale rejected crowley. just for fun, just to see how much has bbg suffered

I'm realizing that one of the reasons I'm so obsessed with Aziraphale and Crowley is because they have normal body types. They aren't hyper masculinized body builders. I don't expect Crowley to take off his shirt and have a six pack. I expect a skinny guy with maybe a little pudge. I expect Aziraphale to have a delicious tummy, thick thighs, and built arms. Like they're normal fucking bodies.

you know how crowley onscreen is all oooh bluhhh I'm a scary demon I'm gonna murder this plant and in the book he like goes and runs the garbage disposal for a bit but we all know he leaves the little bespotted plant with a neighbor or plants it in the park or something

anyway, onscreen crowley is chucking stacks of books hither and yon but I bet they land in a neat pile every single time. and if you asked crowley he would be like, that wasn't me that was uh. bookshop angel magic. but! it is not.

im doing a very quick (aka skimming-a-lot) GO reread and i'd forgotten how much i love discorporated aziraphale. he is 3000% done. he has no fucks left to give. this part of the book is just him and crowley, independently of each other, having hit rock bottom and come through despair and out on the other side into "fuck it we ball" and it's wonderful. they're so in sync and so unhinged.

favourite discorporated az moments:

telling mr shadwell he's the southern pansy

gets so annoyed with the televangelist he tells him that heaven only has a 50% chance of winning and the rest is propaganda, after denying it for the whole book

"you lot [humanity] are all going to be civilian casualties either way"

telling mrs ormerod that he knows he's in england because nobody else could have asked such a fucking stupid question

world's least sincere "wasn't that touching."

'the exorcist' reference *

extremely eager to murder adam young

i cannot emphasise enough how down with child murder he is **

tells madame tracy they need to be doing 70mph and then makes her fucking vespa warp through space at 200mph

"i'm the nice one. you can't expect me to—oh, blast it. you try to do the decent thing, and where does it get you?" aziraphale snapped his fingers.

* im willing to bet money that was crowley's idea and ended with him feeling vaguely queasy while aziraphale sat next to him going "what absolute nonsense, this isn't how it works at all"

** until he actually meets him. but still.

A dash of nutmeg...

Look I feel a bit like I'm throwing soup at a dart board and calling it analysis, but I have some thoughts about Aziraphale's magic words in episode 4, and it's going to kill me if I don't share.

The thing is, these words have been nagging at me since I heard them. They sounded familiar, and I've been trying to figure out why. Today, it finally clicked.

Banana. Fish. Gorilla.

Those initial three words are all key words from Crowley and Aziraphale's drunken conversation about Armageddon. It's right at the start of things, when Crowley convinces Aziraphale to help him stop the world from ending.

We'll start with the fish, because they come up first.

"The point I'm trying to make," [Crowley] said, brightening, "is the dolphins. That's my point." "Kind of fish," said Aziraphale.

Their entire exchange here is hilarious and iconic but I'll try to keep this to the point. After some banter about the difference between fish and mammals, Crowley argues that dolphins don't deserve to be caught in the crossfire when the kraken rises and the seas boil. Which conveniently brings us to:

"Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days?"

Banana. Fish. Gorilla. It got me curious, so I searched for other places these words show up in the book. There's nothing I think is really significant: a couple of things are described as banana flavoured, fish show up in rains that herald the impending doomsday, gorillas aren't ever mentioned again. If I'm on the right track at all, I think this part is here to signpost a connection between this string of words from the show and the specific moments in the book.

If that's true, it must be pointing to something. What's left? Shoe lace and nutmeg.

Shoe lace.

The word "shoelace" isn't actually in Good Omens. Neither is "shoe lace" with a space in between. There's a couple of unremarkable descriptions involving shoes, and one miraculously conjured lace handkerchief, and then - and then. Right at the very end of the story, we have Adam, grounded by his parents, being described as "a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellissed Elba". It's tenuous. I could dismiss that as nothing. Except Adam's laces show up again, and it's the very last passage of the book.

If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield . . . . . . forever.

I'm not ready to say much about what I think the significance of this passage might be. But an allusion to the book's ending does feel significant, doesn't it?

The one thing I will say, for people who may not know, is that this passage is riffing on a line from Orwell's 1984. The line it's playing on is a lot darker: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – for ever." I think it's probably relevant that this is referencing a book about a totalitarian regime. I also think it's probably relevant that it's taking that reference and twisting it into something much sweeter, more optimistic and empowered.

I'm still thinking through all the connections and implications, though.

Nutmeg.

And that brings us to "nutmeg". I have to be honest, I wasn't hopeful. I didn't remember any references to it and if I were betting, I wouldn't have put money on it appearing in the book at all. But the word does show up, and it shows up exactly once. Crowley is reminiscing about a cocktail he had once, made out of fermented date-palms. It's part of a conversation with Aziraphale, where they discuss losing the Antichrist. And here's the really interesting part:

"You said it was him!" moaned Aziraphale, abstractedly picking the final lump of cream-cake from his lapel. He licked his fingers clean. "It was him," said Crowley. "I mean, I should know, shouldn't I?" "Then someone else must be interfering." "There isn't anyone else! There's just us, right? Good and Evil. One side or the other." He thumped the steering wheel. "You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there," he said. "I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to one up there," said Aziraphale. "Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly. "Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?" "Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-" "I meant afterwards." "Oh."

Book Aziraphale differs from his characterisation in the show in a few ways, and this is the big one. In the book, Aziraphale is much more cynical about his own side, and much more aware of heaven's flaws. Here, he's convincing Crowley that the threat heaven poses is just as serious as any threat from hell.

If I'm right about any of this, if these nonsense words mean anything at all, I think they are saying that heaven and hell are two sides of the same very nasty coin, and more to the point, that maybe Aziraphale is more aware of it than he seems.

I need to think about this more, still. I'm not sure if I really think this connection is something, and if it is, I'm still figuring out what sorts of conclusions we might draw from it. But if the script is trying to point us to these three sections of the book, maybe there's a deeper analysis to be had here.

I do think it's interesting that the last two words each only show up in one section of the book. It's not like I'm skipping around trying to decide which passage involving shoe laces is most relevant - it shows up twice, only in the last few pages of the book and only in relation to Adam (and in particular, humanising Adam. He's Napoleon in exile, but he's a kid with trailing laces. His future isn't a boot stamping on a human face, it's a sneaker with those same trailing laces - and a stick that his dog can choose whether or not to chase).

I could talk myself in circles on this point, so I guess I've got to open it up to the floor. Am I making something out of nothing with this? Or do you think there could be something here?

I've never understood what people mean when they say that Crowley is hiding the truth of Heaven and God's cruelty from Aziraphale to protect him or spare his feelings. That's like...the complete opposite of what Crowley does.

Crowley spends all 6000 years of their time on Earth together making snarky comments about Heaven and God at every opportunity. It's his opening line in Eden, and even before Eden, he meets Aziraphale and two minutes later goes on a rant about how unfair it is to end the world before it’s really started. "What's the point of making an infinite universe if you're only going to let it run for a few thousand years?" He's been forcing Aziraphale to grapple with God's plan literally since the moment they met. Those moments make up like half of the S1E3 intro, and it happens again in every single S2 minisode. "Same God that wants me to whack the kids?" "Tell her that poverty is ineffably wonderful and life is worth living. Go on!" "That's the trouble with you lot. You tend to see things in black and white." Like. Crowley's not trying to hide anything! He thinks Heaven sucks! He thinks God is playing a fucked up game! He tells Aziraphale that all the time!

Crowley sharing or not sharing the minute details of Aziraphale's failed execution is, honestly, a nonissue, and it's kind of frustrating to see it constantly brought up. We don't even know for sure that Crowley never told Aziraphale exactly what was said. Crowley says Aziraphale "doesn't remember it either," when he's talking to Jim--not that he doesn't know, just that he doesn't remember, because he wasn't physically there. But regardless of whether Aziraphale knows the exact words, he absolutely knows that Gabriel "tried very hard to cast [him] into Hellfire and destroy [him]." And he already knows Gabriel is an asshole. That's not news.

And I'm unconvinced that Crowley wouldn't have shared what he learned in Heaven about the Second Coming and Gabriel's trial over breakfast at the Ritz if things hadn't gone completely to shit. Here's my hot take: in the fifteen minutes he and Aziraphale had alone after he got back, he had other things on his mind. Would it have been helpful for Aziraphale to know? Eh, maybe. But honestly, Aziraphale is already aware that Heaven 1) is fully on board with the end of the world, and 2) has no problem punishing angels who try to stop the end of the world. Because, you know. They tried to kill him about it last time. And regardless, I don't think this is an issue of Crowley hiding things--I think he genuinely just forgot, because he was busy getting broken up with. If he'd thought about it, you bet he would have weaponized that to get Aziraphale to stay. And he kind of did! "When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it."

And then there's the Fall, and yeah, fair enough. Crowley probably hasn't shared what the Fall looked like for him, and I think that's information Aziraphale could benefit from. Aziraphale clearly doesn't understand it--if he did, I can't imagine that he would have asked Crowley back to Heaven.

But that's still not Crowley trying to hide the truth about Heaven to protect Aziraphale's feelings, or whatever. He just doesn't want to talk about it! Because it fucking sucked! Crowley's communication problems stem entirely from his reluctance to grapple with his own emotions, and his reluctance to be vulnerable. Bitching about Heaven doesn't make him vulnerable; talking about his Fall really, really does.

Crowley has never once shied away from telling Aziraphale exactly what he thinks about Heaven, or the archangels, or God. He's constantly challenging him, forcing him to consider the people hurt by policy decisions like the Flood, the Crucifixion, Job's trials, or the "virtues of poverty." That's a huge part of their dynamic. Sure, he sucks at telling Aziraphale about himself--he doesn't communicate why he wants holy water, or that he's been living in his car, or anything at all about the Fall (as far as we know)--but when it comes to God? He is painfully honest. That's why Aziraphale is so unsettled by him. Crowley is generally very good to Aziraphale and conscious of his happiness, yes, but he's also not afraid to push him. It's baffling to me that people think that all he does is coddle him when we spend about half the show watching them bicker over this exact issue on screen.

SR Grim - Apprentice Chef Voice Lines

Summon Line: Leave it to me. Don't matter what kinda job it is, everything's easy as pie in my awesome hands!

Groooovy!!: All the tasty-lookin' dishes are mine, I tell ya! ...But I guess I'll let ya have a single bite 'cause it's you.

Home: I'll show ya just how awesome the Gastronomy Club is!

Home Idle 1: I can see Crowley lurking right outside Ramshackle... I bet he's lookin' to ask us to do somethin' annoying, so let's just ignore him.

Home Idle 2: Someone ate all the snacks? I-It totally wasn't me... Musta been the ghosts! Yep, mhm.

Home Idle 3: Crewel just nabbed my ribbon and washed it. Said he couldn't take seein' grungy-looking clothes... I ain't grungy!

Home Idle - Login: If we gotta cook, I'll be the taste tester! I'm gonna be the best helper, so do your best, henchie!

Home Idle - Groovy: I thought this school was gonna be all about throwin' magic around, but there's way more types of classes than I thought―

Home Tap 1: Vargas said that the more you exercise, the better your food tastes. But my food is always tasty no matter when I eat it. Weirdo.

Home Tap 2: History of Magic is sooo boring. But if I try to skip class, Lucius snitches to Trein...

Home Tap 3: Whenever Sam recommends something, I get this strange urge to just buy more stuff. Wait, think he's using magic on me or somethin'?

Home Tap 4: The chefs were sayin' I should wear a helmet, not a hat. C'mon, not like I'm sheddin' or nothing. ...Right?

Home Tap 5: You really want a bite of my special tuna can shaped cake? Fiiiine～ But only one bite, okay? Go on, have some. Eat it, eat it!

Home Tap - Groovy: Aww maaan, all the cream spilled out of the bowl 'cause you didn't hold it good enough... [slurp]

Requested by @butterflyremix.

GOS2 Spoilers Masterpost (ONLY EP. 1-2)

alright, you read the title, you know what's under here - gonna tag everyone who helped this if I know them, thanks to everyone for their contribution and for being agents of chaos the way satan intended. love you all

[Last update/edit: 24/07 - 14:10CET]

first of all, we got some amazing posts from @incorrectquoteswwdits mostly about the first scene in heaven with crowley as an angel:

angel!crowley creating stars and aziraphale thinking he's calling him beautiful

more on that

aziraphale's lies make the lesbians have problems, apparently

communist aziraphale be like OUR CAR

isolation and doubts

THEN we have a detailed recount of the first episode by a kind anon! again, thank you @incorrectquoteswwdits for sharing <3

@goodomens-hints posted a lenghty and detailed recount of the first episode as well with some little hits at future episodes (nothing too big on the post itself, but BE CAREFUL, the blog is actually posting some other spoilers from episodes past the second one!)

@goodomensjail gave us a detailed recount of the first scene, with angel!crowley starting to question stuff and eventually shielding aziraphale with his wing

@mikubinders gives us SOME GOOD GOURMET SHIT by telling us that:

"Beelzebub kidnaps and threatens Crowley, tells him that ze could put a price on his head but ze doesn't want to. After that Crowley comes back to the bookshop and Good-old-fashioned lover boy plays while he drives there. "I'm back" happens. Aziraphale makes Crowley do a silly little apology dance so he forgives him and so they work together"

after thinking this last spoiler was fake, an anon came through and confirmed its real! we also have new context! (sent by an anon to yours tuly)

anon came through with some details about the Everyday record, told us Queen is actually tied to CROWLEY and not to the Bentley, and gave us more context to the OUR CAR and OUR BOOKSHOP bit (sent by an anon to yours tuly)

as for what happens during the Job flashback, after which the sitting five feet apart on a rock in front of the sea happens, a bunch of different versions of what actually happens are going around. @thesherrinfordfacility kept up with the madness surrounding it, so im gonna post here the last two versions of events/details.

first one:

In the Job section, Aziraphale is questioning gods decision of punishing Job. Then u see him in heaven w Muriel here and they are looking thru a long scroll that has instructions from god and he's trying to make sense of it. Muriel is telling him that god and satan made a bet about what Job would do and that's why they are testing him. And az is like whatttt why would god do that that's mean!

When Az finds out they're going to kill Jobs kids, he goes down to Earth to save them while using his angel voice until he realizes he's speaking to Crowley. He sees Crowley about to enter the kids room and tells Crowley "I know you, you wouldn't do this" and Crowley tells him he doesn't know him really. (

AND TY TENNANT IS SASSY AND FLIRTS W AZ??!??!? (*) And THATS when crowley goes "well he seems nice" from the clip. He wasn't jealous tho, like he thought it was funny since they are literally there to supposedly kill these kids and one of them is flirting lol.

The moment of 'weird-beard Crowley' was actually more focused on azi and him questioning God. Crowley tempts Azi w food and u see him struggle but then he gobbled it down and he cries bc he thinks crowley is going to bring him to hell (that's the scene where they are sitting on that thing with the pretty horizon) Crowley tells him "you're just an angel who follows gods as will as much as he can" and Az says that sounds lonely, and Crowley agrees, which is a callback to when he asked Crowley if he was lonely being on what Crowley calls "his own side", and Crowley said no. Crowley then tells him "i'm a demon. I lied"

(*): it was told this isn't actually canon canon, it's up for interpretation - some reported Ty's character is just the classic bratty teenager UPDATE: NOPE anon cleared it up and apparently it DOES read as flirty because ty's character is a little bitch, love that for us

and then we have the second one:

"Episode 2 is half present day things [...], and half the Job story/flashback. Crowley is the demon sent by Satan to torment "God's favorite human" Job to see if Job will curse God, in one big bet between God and Satan. Aziraphale comes to try to stop him, discovers they recognize each other but haven't seen each other since "the flood" and that Crowley seems to have changed since the flood, because he is willing to sacrifice the goats, and ruin Job's house. Crowley says he "has a permit" to torment Job FROM GOD. Aziraphale brings this up to the archangels that gleefully explain that yes it's a bet with Satan and that Job will suffer, but he will get everything back 3-fold by the end. And he will get NEW children. This disturbs Aziraphale, he does not want the CURRENT children to die, he understands the familial love that the archangels do not. He goes to stop Crowley not with power since he has the permit but to reason with him. Aziraphale says things to the effect "I KNOW you don't want to harm them I KNOW you and you don't want to kill children" and Crowley is defiant, but then…. It is revealed that he never killed any of the goats either, he transformed them into pigeons to hide them. And he is hiding the children away in the basement but destroying the house to make it look like they died. He transforms the three kids into lizards to hide them, then when the Archangels descend to give Job his rewards and tell him his wife will bear 7 new children, Job and his wife are in despair because they love their children. Crowley comes in pretending to be a human doctor and he and Aziraphale LIE to the angels faces about how babies are made and trick the angels into thinking Jobs three original children are NEWLY BORN children. Which fools Gabriel, who has only ever seen God make Eve fully grown from Adam's ribs. Crowley then meets Aziraphale at the rock. Aziraphale is crying and says "im ready for you to take me to hell" because he has LIED to angels and foiled God's plans. Crowley is gentle and comforts him that he is still an angel and "I won't tell anyone if you won't" and they reminisce that it's lonely being a different kind of demon and a different kind of angel that sort of do what they feel is right. Heavily implying that they are the same and have each other now. The end of episode 2.

that's what's going around for now, but ill add stuff if we find anything new - also feel free to add to this yourself or send me stuff!

Just saw a post that claimed Aziraphale doesn't have "Emotional Intelligence"

I beg to differ. STRONGLY.

(NOTE: Just so no one gets their undies in a wad, here, this is my opinion, though supported by canon details, and everyone is entitled to their own take)

From the very beginning (well, "before the beginning" but now we're splitting hairs), we see Aziraphale operate with a great deal of Emotional Intelligence.

Before we get to that, though, let's have a peek at the meaning of "Emotional Intelligence." According to psychology, Emotional Intelligence is: "The ability to identify and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others."

Now that we've got that firmly in mind (everyone got it? Right... on we go)... Not only does Aziraphale correctly identify his own feelings in the beginning ("I like this angel. I'd like to be his friend.") and manage said emotion (introducing himself, showing support for both Crowley's joy and the disappointment that comes with learning that his nebula engine might not get to run as long as he thought), but he also correctly identifies Crowley's emotions (first the joy, then the disappointment, then the anger) and does his best to manage these emotions, as well (cautioning Crowley to be careful, and trying to help distract him from his disappointment by complimenting his design work again)...

And Aziraphale continues, throughout the series so far, to show his Emotional Intelligence repeatedly. What people are seeing as a "lack of Emotional Intelligence" is actually Aziraphale trying to control his reactions and feelings about things, in an effort to keep anyone else in either Heaven (for his own sake) or Hell (for Crowley's sake) from picking up on his feelings.

Still, it bleeds through. He gives up his sword out of concern for Eve. He lies to the other angels and questions the whole bet in order to save Job's children, whilst simultaneously maintaining a level of faith in then-Crawley that proves he's already every bit as in-tune with Crowley's real emotions when it comes to killing things as Crowley later is with Aziraphale's tone of voice. At Golgotha, he's genuinely hurt by what's going on (I have a theory about that) and even more so by Crowley's accusation that he (Aziraphale) might be there to "smirk at the poor bugger." Then, in Rome, he does his best to break Crowley out of the bad mood the demon is clearly in with a subtle little joke I think too many people misread as condemnation or stupidity -- neither of which apply.

At the Globe theatre, he does his lvel best to keep Crowley safe, while simultaneously trying to make him laugh, when he (quite quickly) picks up on Crowley's tension.

I admit he wasn't, in the beginning, very concerned with Elspeth's POV in Edinburgh, but I think he was just more concerned with the morality of the situation only because Crowley was, quite frankly, egging it on with his constant reminders of how much Hell would like a situation like this (and no, I'm not blaming Crowley for anything other than the obvious... I think he was having a spot too much fun with the banter, and wasn't actually overly concerned with Elspeth's situation, either.). But Aziraphale reacted very quickly and strongly to wee Morag's obvious distress for her friend. And anyone who thinks he "lacks emotional intelligence" needs to freeze-frame on the image of Aziraphale's expression as he cradles that specimin jar with the tumor in it, just after finding out a small child he's never met died because of that tumor. His entire viewpoint during that minisode changes in that second. None of the rest of it matters -- not Heaven, not Hell, not good or evil. And his distress when wee Morag is shot, and then when Elspeth hints at killing herself... And even more, his worry for Crowley getting in trouble, followed by the panic when Crowley gets pulled down to Hell... There was so much emotion all crammed into that one minisode, and someone "lacking in emotional intelligence" would have either fallen apart or completely disassociated with that much thrown at them at once. Aziraphale did neither. He managed his own emotions enough to allow himself to not only feel them, but to let those emotions change him. And he was able to be both tender toward Crowley and worried about how much trouble Crowley might get in, when the demon was inacapable(?) of being able to regulate or be concerned for himself. Being able to be strong and in command of a situation as chaotic and emotional as that takes a great deal of emotional intelligence.

The examples continue to present themselves in every setting. Even in extremely emotional, chaotic settings, Aziraphale is able to dig deep, control his own fear, panic, etc enough to keep everything together and get things done (Satan's arrival at Tadfield, anyone? Anyone else here think they'd have enough wits about them to think of what to do, or know who could fix it with a proper pep-talk? Me, I'd be having a panic attack right alongside Crowley... *shrugs*).

So how about we go easy on the angel for having a moment of weakness when his entire world was caving in because the one being he always relied on to be able to understand their code and read his tone of voice was suddenly freaking out too bad to understand him? We all have those moments where the weight of all the emotion is just too much to bear. People keep commenting on how wonderful it is to see so much of Crowley's humanity. Why the hell aren't y'all willing to cut Aziraphale any slack when he does someting that is so soul-carvingly human in the face of a Sophie's Choice (go to Heaven to save Crowley and the world, or stay with Crowley and live in fear of watching the love of his life potentially destroyed in retribution) he really doesn't even get a choice in?

Aziraphale is one of the most Emotionally Intelligent people/beings in his entire reality. He just keeps getting handed insane choices to make. And I think, once Crowley's had a little bit of time to reflect on everything that went down that morning, he's gonna have an "oh shit" moment, and then he's gonna be so fucking proud of his angel for making the choice he did.

Until we get S3, none of you can tell me I'm wrong, either.

🪽🐍❤️

hypothesis on what Aziraphale was thinking during the elevator ride (s2e6)

They rode the elevator in silence. Hundreds of thoughts raced through the Angel's panicked mind, as he tried to figure out what just happened.

But after panic, came anger.

Anger, which was caused by an answer to the sudden question that arose in his mind. The question was - How is HE the best angel for the job of "wrapping things up" on Earth? That actually made absolutely no sense. Certainly, after Aziraphale thwarted the last attempted Armageddon, Metatron was highly aware of Aziraphale's disapproving stance on Earth obliteration and on starting wars between Heaven and Hell. So then...why would the Metatron recruit him??

Aziraphale could think of only one reason that made any sense. He suddenly remembered what the angels had said about the combined miracle performed by Crowley and himself - "almost 25 Lazarii", and they had barely put any effort into it. (Metatron's plan all along was to separate us, in order to prevent us from interfering in their plans again!) Aziraphale realized that Metatron was probably *betting* on Crowley rejecting the offer to come back to Heaven. It was probably the lynchpin of his entire plan. On top of that, the bastard also used Aziraphale's affection for the demon as bait, to get him to consider the offer, while knowing the whole time that Crowley would never go for it. (Unbelievable. Actually...completely believable, but still. Unbelievable). Aziraphale was absolutely seething. Metatron had played him for the fool. He had played both of them. (And we completely fell for it. United we stand, divided we fall...isn't that some famous human expression?) Aziraphale tried very hard to control his facial expressions, trying not to let his bitterness and disgust be overly apparent. He wasn't totally successful...

After anger, came resolve.

(So, you think you've tricked me? You think you've neutralized your biggest threat? Fine. Good on you. I will let you think that. And I will use that to my advantage.) Aziraphale was thinking that it is all up to him now. That he WILL figure out a way to stop this from happening. Once and for all. He has to. Aziraphale's eyes darted around the elevator, as he considered his nex steps.

The elevator was slowing down now, and Aziraphale knew that the doors will be opening in a few seconds. He steeled himself internally, and stuffed all his genuine thoughts and emotions very deep, and very far away from his face. He then conjured up the most pleased/excited smile that he could muster.

The problem is - Aziraphale was never good at hiding his emotions. He tended to wear his heart on his sleeve, and his emotional state was usually quite obvious to those around him.

So, as often happens with disingenuous and forced expressions of emotions that are the opposite of how we are actually feeling - Aziraphale's "pleased/excited smile" came out as over the top, maybe even mildly grotesque. But he didn't care. He knew that most angels had a very limited understanding of emotional expression. And...they had a very limited understanding of him.

(full fic located here https://archiveofourown.org/works/50747473/chapters/128195287)

update on the good omens grieving process

Hello hi yes maggots your mascot sacrificial goat here, none of your ominous bloody warnings prepared me for this. On the advice of one of you I took a break from tumblr today so I thought ah, yes, I shall not think about Good Omens during this time. Hahahaha bet. This is a long post, about a series of disturbing good omens moments that haunted me anyway. Proceed with caution.

It was nine hours away, out of which I slept through four.

During the first nap, it became clear how tumblr brainwashed me. You'll never guess what I dreamed of. If you said Good Omens the answer is no.

I dreamed that someone on the television was reading out an audiobook of a nature arts and crafts book I had as a kid. And there were six pages dedicated to praising Neil Gaiman.

So then in the dream I wrote a tumblr post about it saying, "I thought y'all were kidding about the whole Neil being in our falafel thing but goddamn he really is everywhere".

Then, still in the dream, I remembered I wasn't supposed to be on tumblr, so I tried to delete the Neil Gaiman falafel post. Instead tumblr fucking glitched and set the post to 'lo-fi mode'. I kept trying to delete it.

At this point my screen was covered with pop-ups of tumblr yelling at me and a goddamn timer counting down from 41,000 minutes. Tumblr informed me that their 'delete post' function is actually run by BitCoin.

Currently due to their skeleton staff and the fact that this hellsite is held together with washi-tape and queer trauma, they were having negotiations with BitCoin and so I could not delete my post. I tried again anyway and the entire site hung. Then I woke up. This is some @one-time-i-dreamt shit.

The only social interactions I had were with the two irl good omens fans I know, whom I informed that I had finished Good Omens.

One of them sent me an audio clip of him screeching about trauma and six months and children of divorce at the top of his voice.

The other one texted ASMIIII YOU'RE A CHILD OF DIVORCE HOW ARE YOU COPING WITH THE PAIN. Two hours into my tumblr break I was already facing withdrawal and I wanted to sob that's what the maggots call me but that would have led to them saying BECAUSE THAT'S YOUR FUCKING NAME and I didn't wanna descend there yet.

I then went on Amazon and tracked my good omens book package like a creep. I then went on the US Amazon to cry over all the Good Omens merch that I cannot buy and isn't available here.

I then went on Pinterest to look at Good Omens tumblr screenshots. It was all going well until I found a stupid fucking post that said the duration of the song playing in the Bentley during the final fifteen and the duration of the kiss are the same. So he was replaying the kiss in his head before stopping the music.

Naturally, this then made me cry over Crowley. Painfully.

I looked up Good Omens ambiences on Youtube and cleaned a whole half of my desk while an Aziraphale's bookshop ambience played with rain and shit and when the lockdown audio came I smiled again.

And now here I am. Back. In pain.

Things that can be explained by POV switches

If you haven't read this analysis, you should start with that!

A list:

Crowley's hair and sideburns changing.

2. The Bentley changing. When it's Aziraphale's perspective, it's a four-door. From Crowley's it's two-door.

3. Gabriel's statue and the disappearing cross. From Gabriel's perspective, there's a cross. From Beelzebub's there is not. I wonder if it's because Gabriel sees himself as bearing some sort of burden?

4. Honolulu roast sign in Nina's shop. I wonder if that's because we switch to Nina's perspective, she knows the sign is there, she hung it. But someone notices it and someone doesn't.

5. Differing title/location cards? I bet they will give us a clue as to whose perspective we're about to see through if we pay attention to how they change.

6. The drawing of Gabriel being different when Aziraphale draws it versus when he shows it in the pub. When he draws it, we're seeing through his eyes, but when he shows it, we're seeing through Crowley's.

7. Possibly the Resurrectionist pub sign -- one of Mr. Dalrymple with a cleaver, one of him with a scalpel. Someone remembers him as a butcher, someone remembers him as a surgeon. I think we can tell who.

8. The vanishing/reappearing storefront signs in Whickber street. Someone knows exactly what shops are where, someone doesn't notice.

9. The streets and castle in Edinburgh when Aziraphale visits -- cobblestones versus paved; the castle in the background in every shot from every angle.

10. Several of the weird background noises can be explained by POV, but I don't think all of them.

11. Crowley's sunglasses changing? That one is iffy to me. Because they're silver for half the show, then black for the second half. If that were a POV switch, you'd think they'd change back and forth more often.

12. Crowley throwing books. And being nice to Jim. And wearing sleeve garters. He's telling Aziraphale on the phone what's going on, and we're seeing Aziraphale's image of it in his mind. That's almost certainly not what happened, but the gist is close enough.

13. Aziraphale's over-the-top reporter cosplay right after he is gently amused at Muriel's over-the-top constable cosplay. He's telling Crowley on the phone what's happening, and Crowley is imagining how it's going. Aziraphale's reporter persona is probably not as inconspicuous as he thinks, but it's probably not as cute and silly as Crowley imagines.

14. Gabriel not coming down the lift in the Dirty Donkey. Maggie and Nina see him first, they don't know about the lift, so they see him just walking down the street, not getting off a Heavenly elevator. He probably wasn't wandering around anywhere else -- but he does say he had to carry the box for soooo long, so maybe he was roaming around . . .

15. The high number of queer couples in the show. Both Crowley and Aziraphale are more highly tuned to humans who present as they do when in human form. It's probably not that there are more queer couples around, just that A and C take more note of them.

That's everything from my Murder Board that I think POV can explain. If anyone has other weird things that can be explained by seeing them through various character's eyes, I'd love to know!

And there is still PLENTY that can't be explained by POV. PLENTY. AND the POV changes mean we're not only seeing what they think is happening rather than what is, we're also NOT seeing anything they don't want known. We have to look where the furniture isn't.

As immortal beings, by definition, Crowley and Aziraphale don't have to worry much with mortality.

Sure, they are surrounded by it constantly. After all, they live amongst humans, and they watch the few friends or acquaintance they make through the ages come and go systematically. They are aware of mortality, of death, they just don't think much about it in regards to themselves

To them mortality is not scary. It's just another step in the humans' lives when their eternal house is decided. It's something natural and unavoidable. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Aziraphale has helped some humans cross to the other side more peacefully.

My point is: As immortals, they are aware of mortality. But they don't think much about their own unless they are thinking about being caught by Heaven and Hell, but that's just a what if. An hypothetical. A real one at that, yes, but not reality yet.

Now, the bookshop fire.

In this moment, Crowley is punched in the face by the mortality of immortals.

Something he doesn't think that much about just falls into his lap by the hand of no other but Aziraphale.

Suddenly he is faced with utter loneliness. The ending of a life that, technically, should be eternal. A life he took for granted for more or less 6000 years.

In theory, he has always known both him Aziraphale could die. By their bosses' hands. By the end of the world itself. But it's very different to think about it in theory and living it.

Crowley wasn't prepared. This happened suddenly.

He was on his way to find Aziraphale, possibly to apologize again over the stupid shit he said and talk about the whereabouts of the Anti Christ, and suddenly a day that was actually not going that bad anymore (aka escaping Ligur and Hastur with little to no collateral damage) turns into his worst nightmare.

For 6000 years he has had the theory, and suddenly he his gifted with reality.

And the last thing he had said to Aziraphale's face was that he wouldn't even think about him when he left. You bet those last words started playing in his head as soon as he saw the fire.

And there's a whole hidden layer there: it wasn't just his best friend that went up in flames, which in on itself is already painful as fuck. No. The man he has loved for 6000 years also was destroyed.

Coming to terms with your own mortality as a supernatural being and the destruction of your companion since Eden would drive anyone into shock. Would be ingrained in their brains like a new trauma. The new notion of how actually fragile life is gifting you a whole new perspective.

No surprise Crowley probably has PTSD with fires. Or that he has nightmares about that day often. Or that he forbade Aziraphale from having anything fire related in the bookshop and convinced him to buy electric candles and a shit tone of fire extinguishers. Or that his mind went into "Fuck this, let the Apocalypse come. I'm too tired to deal with this anymore". OR that his first instinct was hidding in a random bar and getting sloshed out of his own mind to try and put the pieces all together. (Like, cmon, my man was about to open his third bottle)

The actual relief he must have felt when he found out Aziraphale was only discorporated must have been fucking abysmal! Like taking a cold shower after a fever! But you bet his encounter with mortality has changed him. You can't go through something like that and remain the same. And he didn't.

Imagine how he must have felt when Beelzebub told him about the Book of Life. The fucking flashbacks he must have had. No surprise the first thing he did was drive to Aziraphale, apologize and agree to his dumb plan of helping Gabriel. Anything to keep him under his eyes. At least if they go down then, they will go down together.

Or so he thought, innit? We know how this story ended.

A Game of Spy vs Spy

(Or is it more Mr. & Mrs. Smith?)

Buckle up, because this one's about to get a little.. out there? Maybe. You decide for yourselves. I had this thought at 3am and I couldn't get it out of my head.

This following is based on two assumptions:

1. Aziraphale has a Plan (capital letter included) - see my explanation of why I believe that's the case in this post.

2. Crowley has been working on his own Plan since he dawned there Tactical Turtleneck - see this brilliant post by @justhereforthemeta .

Putting the rest under a Read More because it's a little lengthy.

To summarize both in case you don't have time to read both posts:

1. I believe Aziraphale's scary smile in the elevator is a smile he learned from spending so much time around Crowley and that it's reflective of him coming up with a plan to avert the Second Coming that he thinks is so clever that Crowley would absolutely approve.

The fact that Crowley is seen wearing his Super Secret Spy Gear multiple times throughout the series means he's actively working on his heist. He's plotting, he's planning. He disappears on Aziraphale when the angel is remembering Job. Disappearing on Aziraphale? That's not like Crowley at all.

2. Crowley is so enamored with the spy life (bullet hole decals anyone?) that he begins plotting a heist as soon as he finds out the Book of Life is a threat to Aziraphale. And the turtleneck is his spywear.

Crowley saves Aziraphale. It's his thing. He's done it over and over, countless times throughout history.

But listen to what Aziraphale says. Rescuing me makes him so happy. Rescuing me.

And the times Crowley asked Aziraphale to run away with him? Well, those times, it wasn't Aziraphale's life that was threatened. It was Crowley's. Hell found out he screwed up the baby switch? They were coming for him, not Aziraphale. Armageddon't? Isn't it demons that burn in a fiery pit for eternity when the world ends, not angels?

My point is.. M' point is..

Crowley isn't asking Aziraphale to run away with him at the end of Episode 6 only to chance The Metatron erasing Aziraphale from the Book of Life when they get there.

Crowley already has the Book of Life.

My bet? He had a little side project up in Heaven with Muriel off-camera. He was wearing the beige turtleneck after all.

And when we leave Heaven?

Turtleneck gone. Mission accomplished.

But let's not stop there!

Because Aziraphale has a Plan of his own now that he's returned from Heaven. And I'm betting at least part of it involves the Book of Life. And when he goes to look for it? GONE! And when he checks the files? Sure enough, there's Crowley sneaking it into his pocket. (And if we get an "Oh Good Lord" repeat at seeing Crowley's Heaven outfit, I'm not going to complain).

Alternatively, Heaven is going to find it missing, and they're going to know it was Crowley who took it and Aziraphale has to get it back to try to save Crowley.

Either way, he's going to have to get it.

And I'm betting Mr. BackOnHisOwnSide Crowley isn't going to be too forthcoming when the Supreme Archangel asks for it back.

And let the Spy vs Spy hijinks commence.

..................

Below is one conversation I've dreamed up in my head about all this, if you're into that kind of thing. Enjoy:

Crowley: If only I had access to a place with a truly ridiculous number of old books where one new addition would go completely unnoticed.

Aziraphale: Well, it's a good thing I know this bookshop better than anyone then, isn't it?

Crowley (bearing his teeth): I've reorganized.

Aziraphale: *gasp*

Very specific TWST head cannons

Jack was accidentally given alcohol by a third year at a party because they thought he was also a third year.

Ruggie would make bets with students if they can guess Jack's age correctly.

Malleus would stay back at after the final class of the day just to sing, he likes the sound of the empty class room. He stopped doing that because a rumor about a "haunted class" was spreading.

Sebek yelled so hard one time, he couldn't talk the next day due to the pain.

Vil watches those self care videos, as in the earwax removal, black head removal, technically any of those gross removal videos. It's a guilty pleasure of his.

Cater is a hot cheeto girl, he and Idia would make ramen and put hot cheetos in it.

Silver is a heavy sleeper...like heavy sleeper. One time a fire broke out in Diasomnia and everyone was screaming. Only after the fire was out did he wake up.

Malleus used to talk to stuff animals as a kid.

Sebek monologues to himself, and everyone can hear him.

Sebek when he was a kid chased another child with a broken ruler for saying Malleus' name in vain.

Riddle and Jamil have this weird friendship, basically it's just them trying to relax but remembering there are idiots who are in the dorms and can't rest until they get things done.

Each dorm has their own WiFi router, Idia usually hacks into the others in case Ignihyde's one is down or he just want to see people's search history.... Let's just say he's not comfortable around certain classmates.

Idia permanently puts Ortho on child lock so people won't ask him to look up not so friendly things on the internet.

Ortho can get sick from viruses or corrupted data he accidentally downloaded.

Jade and Rook have a passive aggressive rivalry. Like imagine them in the botanical garden having lunch and Jade handed him a poison mushroom infused tea and Rook just 'accidentally' pours it in a plant watching it wither. While looking Jade dead in the eyes, both have smiles on there faces, as they passive aggressively try to kill each other.

Cater x Jade or Rook would be so fucking funny. Like imagine dating the most dangerous students in the school but hey at least the dick is crazy.

Trey has a collection of his baby teeth and his siblings baby teeth on his night stand. No-one brings it up...ever.

another reason why Cater doesn't eat sweets is because he'll get a tooth ache just eating a smore.

A student once asked Crewel if it was possible to make 'crack' in potionology..... Crewel wasn't getting paid enough for this.

Crowley has committed tax evasion.

Azul Is thicc. I said what I said, and don't boo me. I'm right.

Ruggie is banned from Monstro Lounge due to finding loop holes in Azul's contracts and getting free stuff.

Malleus hates cake with too much frosting, It defeats the purpose of the cake.

Malleus would use fae circles to teleport prefect to him.

Floyd likes to just bite things, especially his phone case.

Rook takes the best photos.

Sometimes people forget that Vil is an actor and model, so when seeing him in a movie, commercial or magazine they just get jump scared and remembered .

" oh yeah....Housewarden Vil is a celebrity.."

I think prefect is desensitized to meeting famous or high status people that they're not a big deal to them. Imagine Prefect going to a cafe and THE KALIM AL ASIM Is paying for their drink, everyone is shocked that someone who's richer than royalty is paying for you and all you say is " Oh thanks Kalim. "

I feel like up to book 6 every dorm leader helped out in repairing Ramshackle adding there own piece of their dorms in there. A gaming room from Idia, A luxurious bathroom with skin care supplies and designer clothes from Vil, pantry and groceries from Heartslaybul and Scarabia and a cook book from Trey and Jamil respectively. An indoor and outdoor pool from Savannah claw, wallpaper and decor from Azul, and finally furniture and jewelry from Malleus.