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bigsurlor · 8 months

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cowboy like me by taylor swift, my interpretation and analysis

And the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing

Beginning with "and", it is important to note that we start our story in medias res, or in the middle of the narrative. Also that it begins in past tense, giving the audience the story of how our narrator got to the present, why they're "never gonna love again".

On expensive properties, the tennis courts are often located near or next to the gardens which makes a lovely venue, for both parties and weddings, once a marquee is placed on top. Given the "tent-like thing" covering the tennis courts and our narrator's habits of swindling rich people, both a party or wedding is the likely setting.

This opening line not only helps to set the scene of this event, but gives the listener the first insight into the character of the narrator. Of course this swindler would not know the name of this "tent-like thing", nor do they care to find out. They are there for one thing: conning old rich people.

It is also important to note that the narrator is seemingly uninterested and generally less than impressed.

And you asked me to dance, but I said, "dancing is a dangerous game"

This line paired with the last not only helps to set the scene of this event but also invokes imagery as well. Dancing typically requires a dance floor, so it is reinforced that our narrator likely is at a wedding (interesting note for later) or party.

I think dancing in this sense is to be taken both literally and metaphorically. Dancing as in becoming closer with another, the forming of a new relationship. So, this other person wants to become closer or more intimate, but our narrator knows and recognizes that doing so breaks into precarious territory, it becomes a "dangerous game". We'll come back to that.

Dancing with a partner is an activity that requires closeness, vulnerability, and an intimacy of sorts. It is moving in a way that is almost co-dependent. Every single thing you do will affect your partner in such a visceral physical and emotional way. Which makes it all the more interesting our narrator chooses to describe dancing as a dangerous game. We all know, games are a type of play or sport often between two people, a back and forth, using both skill and intelligence… which is kind of the opposite of the mindset to be in while dancing and outlook to have on it. Dancing is a partnership.

I believe this line is also an allusion to the short story, The Most Dangerous Game. Spoilers if you haven't read, but it is a story of the hunted and the hunter, one in which the hunter's barbaric game was twisted and turned against himself. The ultimate twist of fate, and the joke was inevitably on him. The "most dangerous game" occurs from the human ability to reason, it was a test of the mind. It was the protagonist's ability to ultimately stop running, to halt his prey behavior, and instead strategize, to outsmart his hunter that led to his safety. We know hunters for Taylor represent the public ("they are the hunters, we are the foxes", I Know Places) ("these hunters with cell phones", the lakes), so I would keep that in mind. For this person to dance with our narrator, it would put them both in a dangerous game, perhaps the most dangerous one.

Oh, I thought, 'this is gonna be one of those things'

To me, this is a double meaning lyric. "One of those things," being just another fling. Someone who comes and passes you by all the same, over before it really even started. But also, "one of those things," such as in reference to a bad or unfortunate event that could happen to anyone (ex: I missed my train, so I had to catch the next one. It was just one of those things, I guess.)

Now I know I'm never gonna love again

Note: alternating between past to present tense

At this point in the song, it is unclear in which way the narrator means this. Are they never going to love again out of the sheer heartbreak from meeting their match and someone who was able to deceive them in the ways they've deceived so many others, or because they will never find another and will love this one lover forever? Let's continue.

I've got some tricks up my sleeves

To have a trick up your sleeve is to have a secret plan, idea, or advantage that one keeps and can utilize when the time is right.

This line adds further characterization to the narrator. They aren't necessarily upfront or honest, they may use certain things to their own advantage. They are a swindler and bandit, after all.

This line also draws certain imagery to mind, like a magician doings tricks, pulling things from their sleeve to fool people. This imagery is important to keep in mind.

Parallels So It Goes...: "See you in the dark / All eyes on you, my magician / All eyes on us" and "All eyes on me, your illusionist / All eyes on us"

Takes one to know one

This phrase is an idiom meaning that it takes one specific type of person to be able to recognize that same type of person elsewhere. It is usually used to describe a trait so central to their personality that it sticks out very clearly to others with the same traits.

I believe this line functions as a double meaning. It gives some insight into the other person, letting us know that this person too is a con artist. They are a swindler like our narrator. But also, this line of thinking can also easily translate to a queerness "gaydar", or the queer community's ability to sense and pick up on subtle signs that another person is queer themselves.

You're a cowboy like me

This line tells the listener so much, but especially in regards to giving more insight into the characters of our narrator and their love interest. Cowboys are symbols of independence, isolation, and often lawlessness. They may always come into town, but they'll always leave it as well. They're hustlers, sometimes cheats, can be the best con artists, but ultimately, they're just trying to survive.

Cowboys have also long been a symbol for the queer community. Often preferring a "buddy" over a wife, building a closeness, homoerotic admiration, and level of intimacy much like with romantic relationships, historians do consider many cowboys to have been gay. Hollywood has even taken to this, with movies such as Brokeback Mountain (starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger). Make a mental note of that movie for later.

Another correlation I considered between cowboys and queerness is the lawlessness cowboys are often known for and the struggle for the legality of queerness.

Quick note: who remembers when WMagazine released their "Cowboy Karlie" photoshoot on July 2, 2018 and then eight days later Harpers Bazaar released their photoshoot of Taylor in which she's wearing the same dress from Givenchy's Fall 2018 collection?

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

Love and affection were never the ambitions or priorities of this narrator. It was success, money, all the fancy cars that drove them. Their focus has always been on hustling, which is what makes this next verse even more compelling. Look at the dichotomy of who this hard cowboy once was compared to who their love has transformed them into in this next line.

(For more reference of this dichotomy, we can view the parallels this has with King of My Heart: "Cause all the boys and their expensive cars / With their Range Rovers and Jaguars / Never took me quite where you do", "The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury", and "Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff".)

Now I'm waiting by the phone like I'm sitting in an airport bar

Our narrator using sitting in the airport bar as a simile for waiting by the phone fits so much into the characterization already previously established. Airports are a place where no one really stays or lingers too long, every person is just traveling through, stopping for a moment, but going onto their next destination much like a cowboy passing and traveling through towns.

While waiting at an airport bar, one is typically dealing with a lot of big emotions: feeling nervous about the flight ahead, having all types of thoughts swirling in your head while you anxiously await your drink. This is how our narrator feels while waiting to hear back from this person. Their hard exterior has broken down, priorities are starting to shift: they're beginning to realize they may have found love.

You had some tricks up your sleeves

Takes one to know one

You're a cowboy like me

Notice: past tense on "had". You had some tricks up your sleeves. You used to. This person is a cowboy, a bandit, a magician like our narrator (recall So It Goes...), but the tricks to take advantage of another are all past tense now that they are with their match, they are no more. Keep in mind as we move forward: our narrator has repeatedly expressed that these two are one in the same.

And now let's take a look at the "Kowboy Karlie" campaign Karlie did for Tamara Mellon in July of 2014:

Perched in the dark

Taylor's use of diction is so important and the word choice here, perched, draws such specific imagery and feelings within. Being perched on an object is to sit high above and is most often used and associated with birds.

This is yet another lyric I think has a double meaning. In a sense, it is metaphorical like an owl sitting high up and waiting for the perfect moment to swoop down to strike and kill, or looking for people to gain from or take advantage of. Yet also, its literal meaning can be taken as well. The narrator feels they are sitting high above everyone, hidden away in the dark as opposed to living in the daylight that is truthfulness and love. I could imagine it would feel such a way to be both a celebrity and closeted.

This lyric also brings to mind lines from tracks off reputation ("See you in the dark" ; "Gold cage, hostage to my feelings", So It Goes...) and folklore ("Living in a gold age, sneaking into my bird cage", Cardigan original lyrics).

telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear, like it could be love

Like and could are the keys word here. It is like it could be love, they could love this person, it could be a possibility. Not a certainty.

This lyric aligns with our current understanding and characterization of the narrator: a swindler. It gives us more information though, and makes it likely to assume this was our narrator's intent at the party/wedding they met their true love at.

Being one line with, "perched in the dark', a metaphor for closeting, this reads as bearding and PR contracts.

I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it

They could be the rich folks way forward, what propels them, what benefits them, their answer, but only if they pay for it.

Given the money-seeking bandit we know our narrator to be, I interpret this instance of paying for it to be literally, to be physically paying in cash or some sort of monetary/status exchange. This brings to mind business exchanges/deals in regards to love: setting up relationships, potentially fake ones.

Being hidden in the dark high above, lying to rich folks about potentially being able to be someone's love and their way forward in life (because of who they are), but only if they will pay for it, paints the image yet again of a celebrity that is closeted and making contracts for both PR relationships and bearding.

What's also interesting is how often we have been reminded that the narrator's love is just like our narrator, which poses the questions: Are they lying to old rich people as well? Faking love to them as well? It's likely, so keep that in mind.

You're a bandit like me

There is strong diction with this lyric again, it invokes quite a bit of imagery as well. The word bandit sticks out, it's one that you hold onto.

This line, like many others, is giving further characterization and yet again reiterating that these two are the same.

A bandit is a robber, an outlaw, echoing what it means to be a cowboy.

eyes full of stars

Stars often serve as symbols of both hope and destiny throughout literature. Think Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars." The meaning of Shakespeare's phrase, in short, is that the fault was not with fate (or in their stars) but in their actions as humans.

It is so interesting to see the ways in which our narrator has changed over the course of this song, this line being one of the main displays. This cowboy never thought they could settle down, just traveling town to town, building no true connections, only swindling, Now they're starting to feel hopeful, starting to see a future and a life they likely never could see before. They are no longer the disinterested, apathetic person we met in the opening line.

Hustling for the good life, never thought I'd meet you here

Hustling in this context means to obtain by illicit action, swindling, cheating, but also working hard and doing so by focusing only on success.

The narrator never thought they would meet their match, never thought there would or even could be someone just like them. Not only that, but there, at the exact same place, doing the exact same thing.

It could be love

No more like. With this person, it is not like it could be love. It just could be love. Despite being almost the same phrase, this one carries much different meaning. The narrator has met their match, they're dreaming of a future with them now, but they're still this cowboy, the same old con artist that we know. They were just anxiously waiting by the phone, they're still hesitant on accepting this person and letting them in, but they're beginning to recognize… this could be love… ("Is this the end of all the endings?", King of My Heart)

We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

We! No you, no I, it is now we. You and I together, we could be the way forward.

Not the way forward as in before, not propelling someone else to get the means the narrator desires. No more hiding in the dark either.

Together, they could be this incredible change, this way forward. They could pave the way in the industry, help break the chains of fellow queer people, but this narrator will pay and suffer the consequences of it. They are surely to face the backlash that comes from paving a new way forward.

The key word here is still could. They could be the way forward. But will they?

And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up

This lyric has a double meaning. The first being, their past sins build and compound with one another, making this relationship difficult to continue and carry on. They are both cowboys with a history of conning, after all. The second being, the evidence of their queerness with past lovers combined makes staying closeted and having this secret relationship together hard.

And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

This line is quite straightforward I believe, adding more characterization to our narrator and showing how truly skilled they are at deception.

It also brings to mind a lyric from Don't Blame Me: "I've been breakin hearts a long time and toyin with them older guys, just playthings for me to use."

And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town

This other person is truly one in the same with our narrator, a cowboy just passing through town, causing ruckus, and leaving the ladies lunching with stories to tell of them.

but that was all before

I locked it down

The way this line ("but that was all before") is written, it is connected to the previous lyric and simultaneously both connected and separated from the next. The swindling of old men, the stories from the ladies lunching happened, yes, "But that was all before", all before our narrator locked it down. Before they entered this relationship, before they kept it secure.

Note: Locked it down? Like "love locked down"...?

2014:

2015:

2016:

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon are known to have been an incredible feat of engineering and considered to have been an overwhelmingly beautiful place. People traveled far and wide to witness it in its glory. They are a part of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, but yet no archeological evidence can be found to prove its existence.

This phrase also brings to mind the act of "hanging onto every word" a person says, which I would say is a similar process to a fan attempting to analyze the words and lyrics of the person they admire.

So, this person hangs from her lips–she speaks these beautiful words of them, love song after love song flows from her about them, they are a constant. In the same ways this lover hangs from her lips, others (perhaps those hunters, if you remember) hang onto the contents that flow from them, but despite this, they cannot find this love, may not even believe in it, for there is no evidence to prove its existence.

This parallels something Taylor said in the reputation prologue: "When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song, as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test. There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory because it's 2017 and if you didn't see a picture of it, it couldn't have happened, right? Let me say it again, louder for those in the back… We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us. There will be no further explanation. There will just be reputation."

With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

Boots being beneath the bed is yet another double meaning. The phrase 'boots under the bed' and its variants is slang to refer to a sexual relationship, though especially an adulterous one. And then there is the direct, literal meaning:

With their lover's boots beneath their bed, tucked in and fast asleep at night, out of all their trickery and deception, out of any con, their forever together is the sweetest con of them all.

How could this be? How could their forever be a con? Let's recall the prior line about the Gardens of Babylon and all the way from the beginning, The Most Dangerous Game. Think of the necessity that exists to outwit these hunters to survive once one decides to jump into the fishbowl with our narrator. And outwit them, our narrator and their love did. ("Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep", King of My Heart)

Side note 1: Taylor released the 'forever is the sweetest con' chapter on January 28, 2021: National Daisy Day.

Side note 2: Karlie Kloss included multiple charms of cowboy boots and hats on the friendship bracelets she purchased for her Eras concert in Los Angeles on 8/9.

I've had some tricks up my sleeves

Takes one to know one

You're a cowboy like me

Yet again our narrator is reminding us of the tricks they have had, maybe potentially even used on us as the listener (as hinted in the previous line). At this point in the song, our narrator is fully resigned. They know for a fact that they have met their match, their love is indeed just like them. They have found each other in the most unlikely world and through the most unlikely events, but found each other nonetheless.

Note: Remember that mental note of the gay cowboy movie, Brokeback Mountain? Bring it to the forefront now, because in June of 2019, Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner had their second wedding ceremony. And how did Derek Blasberg, Karlie's long-term best friend and chosen family, choose to describe the theme? As a crossover with Brokeback Mountain.

He went on to say via Twitter:

And I'm never gonna love again

I'm never gonna love again

At the resolve of the song, we finally have our answer. We know how the pair met, we followed their story; we finally know why our narrator is never going to love again. Despite thinking that this would just be yet another soul-crushing fling that ended before it began, the narrator now knows that they have met their person, that they are one in the same, that they are able see a future for themselves for the first time, that they've experienced a true transformation ("I once was poison ivy but now I'm your daisy", Don't Blame Me), and because of this, they know that they will never love another person again. It was "the end of all the endings" (King of My Heart). They've already found the one, and in that, despite a lifetime of conning, together created their greatest trick of all. And together, the cowboys will continue in their tricks, but not to each other, no, instead with each other. This is no longer a road for the lone traveler, but one that it is nice to have a friend on.

I do think these last lines, though, also have a double meaning. After all, throughout the course of the song, we have followed two narratives: the story of our narrator and their love, and the one in which our narrator is conning rich business folk. I think that while the final line is a recognition that they will never love another person other than their lover, it is also a statement to these business deals and exchanges in regards to 'love': they're done with them. With forever as their sweetest con, our narrator is never going to love again, at least in the public eye, unless they decide with their love that together they will be the way forward.

Ending note: I love, support, and wish all the happiness in the world to these two cowboys, regardless of their choice. Whether they are the way forward, whether they continue in their cons, either way, I will be here and thankful that they have chosen to share with us what they have, as it is truly the century's most beautiful and captivating love story.

One last note: I LOOOVE the way Taylor uses assonance and consonance throughout the song, giving the illusion of rhyming which is much like the swindler's behavior in this story.

#gaylor #kaylor #late stage kaylor #lsk #lgbetty #gaylor theory #cowboy like me #song analysis #song interpretation #taylor and karlie #gaylor swift #gaylor twitter #bigsurlor

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 3 months

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Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #taylor swift #midnights #long post #lyrics analysis #song parallels #Gabby this one is for you friend <3 #here goes nothing #Happy Friday or something idk!#(also i know i said there are things i wouldn’t discuss on main but my dms are open lol)#this is not as structured or well plotted out as I wanted it to be #and turned out to be more stream of consciousness than legit essay #but whatever at least i got my thoughts out there and it can release some plot of land in my brain for other stuff to think over lol #If anyone ever reads this thank you! And I’m sorry?#The best compliment i ever got in school #was when we were doing an analysis of a poem in English lit in college #And i brought something up casually #and my prof went ‘I’ve been teaching this class for eight years and that’s the first time anyone’s ever brought it up like that’#’and that just blew my mind’#and i was like ‘who me?’#so that’s all you need to know about me lol #Midnights: The Great War #Bigger than the whole sky #bttws #Midnights: Paris #Midnights: high infidelity #would’ve could’ve should’ve #Midnights: dear reader #midnights: bigger than the whole sky

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daisyswift3 · 11 months

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You’re Losing Me Analysis

I wanted to do a short analysis on You’re Losing Me. My first impression of this song is that it’s another breakup song addressed to her fans in allegorical form like high infidelity (see this post). There are multiple lyrics that substantiate this interpretation. It’s horribly ironic that swifties think this is a song abt Joe when it’s really abt them and their refusal to SEE her. I’m more certain than ever now that the eras tour is a goodbye to her fans before she comes out

You say “I don’t understand” and I say “I know you don’t” // This is reminiscent of the bridge of Dear Reader. These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free but darling, darling, please, you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking. There is a communication issue between her and her fans. Her fans don’t know who she really is and are gonna be really confused when she comes out bc they thought they knew her

We thought a cure would come through in time…Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time // This parallels the archer. Should she stay in her dark closet or step into the daylight? Dark side, I search for your dark side. But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? Also the mention of time makes me think of “meet me at midnight” and all the clock/time imagery she’s been using lately alluding to a countdown. Spring breaks loose, the time is near / Are we only biding time 'til I lose your attention? Her Cinderella facade is abt to expire at midnight

The heartbeat is an obvious callback to wildest dreams which she includes twice in the setlist, once in the 1989 era and once in the seven spoken word poem which again makes use of this Cinderella metaphor. This poem essentially tells her fans “You can cling onto this idealized version of me in my Cinderella dress or you can meet the real me at midnight”

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? // Again the archer. Should she come out and potentially ruin her career and her relationship w her fans or stay in the closet? She chose the first option and burned the lover house down. Dear reader burn all the files, desert all your past lives / He's gonna burn this house to the ground…So yeah it’s a fire it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark / 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned. Everything you lose is a step you take. So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it. You've got no reason to be afraid

You might have just dealt the final blow // Don’t Blame Me transitioning into LWYMMD. Her singing “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s dead” while all the glass closets keeping her past selves trapped shatter and they walk out finally freed. The Anti Hero mv where her daughter in law (representing the hardcore swifties) is the person that kills her and the younger son (gaylors) points this out which enrages her and sparks a brawl. Happiness, which includes a reference to the Cinderella/midnight metaphor, being a eulogy to the old Taylor and her relationship w her fans—“dappled with the flickers of light from the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind”

These lyrics make it pretty clear who she’s talking to imo. How can you say that you love someone you can’t tell is dying? I sent you signals // Sending signals to be double crossed / You didn’t even hear me out, I gave so many signs so many times

Now you’re running down the hallway // Dear reader, get out your map, pick somewhere and just run

I gave you all my best me’s, my endless empathy // After giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that

Fighting in only your army, frontlines // Combat, I’m ready for combat / So yeah it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life

A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her // All of mirrorball and Nothing New. The Dear Reader bridge. They see right through me. Can you see right through me? The delicate mv. Giant Taylor begging the audience to see her in the eras tour Anti Hero performance and storming off after being ignored

Gif courtesy of @iwanthermidnightz

Lastly this track follows Dear Reader and when read together it sounds like she’s telling her fans goodbye

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merp-blerp · 9 days

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Part 2 of A Gaylor interpretation of "The Prophecy"

I had more Thoughts™ that I initially left out for length, but I'd like to elaborate in sections. Special thanks to @mamataylovesrubbi for being so friendly. This community is so lovely.

TW: Brief talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide near the end.

Part 1 here

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

Artemis/Diana

Some things about Artemis/Diana that I left out of part one I left out were that 1) Artemis is also the goddess of the hunt and animals. I think that tidbit adds to the fable connection, as fables are often stories about animals. When it comes to the hunt, songs like WAOLOM and The Albotros possibly being about Taylor planning revenge on her closet-ers really scream huntress. Artemis can also become a deer, a somewhat surprisingly non-vicious animal for a huntress, if she pleases. "I've been the Archer / I've been the prey." I think this could portray Taylor's strengths and weaknesses. 2) Artemis is a virginal goddess, never having any male lovers in her stories. This doesn't necessarily make Artemis a sapphic goddess, even though I've seen that interpretation, but it's pretty telling that Taylor would align so closely to a goddess with that trait. 3) Artemis/Diana was also the goddess of the moon (somewhat, it's a bit complicated, but that's Greek mythology for you). Fits the themes of Midnights, with Taylor being Midnight (Rain) and her lover being Sunshine. Though that probably shouldn't be taken too literally, as Apollo, god of the sun, is Artemis's twin brother. Trust him like a brother, yeah—

2. Vocalizing

Taylor's vocalizing after "...tell me it'll be okay" reminds me vaguely of the vocalizing in "My Tears Ricochet", a song, like this album, alludes to Taylor dying.

3. "But I looked to the sky" and "I've been on my knees"

With all the talk of sky, I wonder if maybe "Bigger Than The Whole Sky" might be about failed coming outs. I don't know if this is something others thought have already (probably), but I never thought of it before. Meanwhile, the repeat of being on her knees makes me think of "Would've, Could've, Should've". I've mentioned before that I'm open to that song being actually about JM because it wouldn't surprise me if she tried dating dudes in some way early on in her career, whatever that would mean. However, I'm open to alternatives too. With my analysis of Taylor's Eve being bitten by the serpent/Devil, maybe the serpent could be the Devil from "Would've, Could've, Should've". Maybe the Devil could be The Professor from my "The Manuscript" analysis. I'm leaning toward that Devil being her old label.

4. Throttle

A throttle is several things. It can be something to give machinery fuel. It can be a verb, you can throttle something, aka kill it by strangulation. By "hand on the throttle," I think Taylor was saying she was ready to not only fuel/validate her truth, but kill her past lives. I get this vibe that TTPD might be for TS12 what Reputation was for Lover. Just like with Rep, she's killing the old Taylor(s) that hid her queerness before she steps into the daylight with what comes after. Makes me understand all the chockers and high-neck collars she's been sporting for this era.

5. "And it was written"

I feel like I grazed over this part of the line a bit. What was written? It could be Taylor's lyrics or her 100 thrown-out speeches. She wrote them, but wasn't heard anyway, cursed. Or it could be the word written in the Bible. (In my opinion, shit) translations of the Bible call for all kinds of things to happen to queer people, and has so for years. Not that many though because the word homosexual didn't even exist when the Bible was first scribed. Taylor was cursed before she was even born. Possibly like Eve. Didn't Eve have control over whether she ate the fruit or not? Do queer people have control in who they love? Christian will debate forever.

6. "Let it once be me"

One reason why Taylor wasn't out from the get-go obviously has to do with where her career began and under what industry she was entering. An underaged, famous, sapphic country singer sounds a bit wild now honestly, imagine in 2006! The world would not have been ready, unfortunately. But why can't Taylor come out now? Well, in "WAOLOM", Taylor sneers, "I am what I am 'cause you trained me". She was raised to closet for her whole career, maybe even longer, who could know? And of course, "Old habits die screaming" (from "The Black Dog"). After this album, however, I feel like she's gearing up to free herself. Still, there are so many people younger than Taylor who come out super casually, like Reneé Rapp, Girl in Red, etc, without games or clear fear. Taylor probably sees them and wonders why she couldn't have/had that freedom. Maybe when she says specifically, "redo the prophecy" rather than "change the prophecy" she wishes she could go back in time and somehow make it so she could've come onto the scene out and proud way back then.

7. "like fools in a fable / Oh, it was sinking in"

I think Taylor started feeling like she'd never be free as she began to write Folklore. Of course, she knew the plan didn't work before that in 2019, but as she created Folklore and Evermore, she realized she was anywhere near where she wanted to be in 2020, playing the same games. It sunk in with that. That's why Folklore, Evermore, and even some Midnights songs can sound so hopeless. As an LSK, I don't believe it was due to a breakup, but more closeting. All the albums after Lover seem to have minimal color because she can't be herself.

8. "My last coin"

So, I mentioned in part one that Taylor had/has referenced self-inflicting harmful actions towards herself in many songs. She also mentions poison in this song. It got me thinking about Romeo and Juliet and how that play goes. Taylor, with the "Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" seems to be combining Romeo and Juliet's death, Juliet getting stabbed or "pricked" and Romeo drinking poison. Maybe this symbolizes that, even though when she was younger, more naïve and optimistic, she exclusively identified with Juliet and changed her ending in "Love Story", now she identifies with both Romeo and Juliet, even sometimes taking on the "male" role in her songs (e.g. The Heartbreak Prince and JaMEs). A part of me wonders if that could be a comment on her gender identity too, but that goes a bit over my skill level to analyze. But it feels sad that Taylor used to change the fates of Romeo and Juliet and now she's honest about what happens to them. As I said before, I want nothing but good for Taylor. it will be okay. 🤍 ✌️🌈

Alrighty, I think I got it all out of me. Watch me think of some more shit with this song. 🙄😅

#taylor swift #the prophecy #gaylor #the tortured poets department #gaylor swift #friend of dorothea #lgbetty #gaylor theory #song analysis

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abruisedmuse · 11 months

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QUESTION...?

Song analysis

Kinda wild that this is the first thing I'm talking in length about since it's not my usual and I don't talk song analysis I typically write fanfic and make edits when creative but this won't leave my head so here we are.

Things to note before we jump in:

In Taylor's speech last night when she said she was the happiest she's been in all aspects of her life, she referred to this song as it being a happy memory. Being the lyrics it didn't click unless it refers to someone close to her now. The person who fits this is Matty.

Question...? Is in the pre-show playlist for The 1975. An odd choice if you ask me being unless you listen to Midnights you know it. From my knowledge Preshow playlists usually contain top charting hits, released singles etc. To me, this feels like Matty kinda showing off that she wrote a song about him. Sorry if there's any typos I did this before coffee and I didn't have my glasses on lmao. If you don't like Matty that's fine, then this post isn't for you and you can keep on scrolling.

I cut off the intro on accident, it says "I remember". That could be just setting up the song stating this deals with the past. Or it's a response to the line in 'About you' by The 1975 where Matty sings, "Do you think I have forgotten. She says no I haven't, I remember.

The first line in the verse is giving two characters: Taylor, the good girl. Matty, the sad boy. Taylor went to two shows in 2014 for The 1975. One in LA and one in NY. I'm going with NY for this setting. The one thing going on was that they hooked up. Possibly seeing each other albeit extremely briefly.

Regardless of what it was it impacted her life greatly. He painted her nights a color she's been looking for ever since. Ever since Matty left her she's been trying to chase that feeling. Kinda ties into her speech last night too because she finally found it. After she had to deal with one thing after another. Other relationships, media, pandemic. Basically all the hurdles in her life that brought them back together. (It could also be in reference to their past situationship and what caused the fallout. )

Taylor wants to talk. She has questions about the past and wants to clear the air.

I think this took place when they were all hanging out and everyone was just shocked when it happened. They kissed around friends and were teased about it. But the friends in question gave an approval by clapping. These were super close friends who wouldn't tell any media outlets so I'm thinking like Selena, George, Ross, Adam. Etc. People who won't talk but I could see teasing tf out of them but being supportive. I don't remember which show Karlie was at which is why I didn't say her. Anyway, she's now asking him and what he did as in do you remember? Cause I do. And then she continues with her questions.

Now, Matty was using alot of drugs around here so it's possible he remembered but not everything. Or it's possible he did and wants to forget that he left in middle of night. Because as soon she asks that he goes oh. The oh is him being like ah fuck. So then Taylor shoots back three consecutive questions. Whatever happened in the past I think was her call for whatever reason maybe he didn't want to public or be in a relationship. And because she knows herself, the feelings are getting too much, she's getting this strong connection and feelings she has to end it. And Does it bother him he didn't fight for it? Does it bother him the way it does her? Does he miss her? He seems taken aback and she's saying well its just a question. A hypothetical one. He's doubting that.

This is about the Brit awards and Calvin. Stay with me. Half-moon eyes elude to someone on drugs, i.e., Matty. Peep the last line line the image "but you were on somethin". indiciating the half-moon eyes are not from weed but something harder. The bad surprise is Calvin. And this is the moment Matty knew he fucked up because he had still feelings. He was jealous cause the brit awards was when Taylor and Calvin met and as we all know. The dude is a dickhead lol.

Lots of drinking, no one should be surprised by with Matty. Idk about the politics and gender roles. It's clearly about Matty. Since hes more of an activist than Taylor and has songs about politics, has worn skirts, make up, kisses guy. It's also kinda about Taylor. Idk love to heard thoughts. I know it my bones it connects. Could also be in connection with the fact that a couple months after the awards Matty says dating Taylor would be emasculating. I think he said it out of anger. Anger at himself for not being with her, jealous of Calvin, and pissed shes dating the said dickhead. Anyway back to the awards time, they are fighting. Matty is unhappy with her talking to Calvin. And she probably asks him again what he wants. He doesn't know but he sure as hell doesn't want her with that guy.

The second best after that meteor strike is going back to the first verse. About the color she's searched for. I said it deeply impacted her. This indicates it did for the both of them. After the impact of her, Taylor. Has anyone even come close to the intense feelings they shared in a short time? The her in question I feel like it depends on when this song was written. However if we take the scene that is set for us and the time frame given, it's probably Halsey. Otherwise if it was written in 2021/2022 then it could be FKA Twigs. Whichever her, there's no hate there. She's happy for him. Truly. Either one suits him better, however she can't help but wonder...

Then the chorus repeats. Back to her speech, the reason she is saying this is a happy memory for her. Is because now it is. Her thoughts are filled with what could have happened? That color she's been searching for, the missing piece, it's found again. It's come back to her. Now she can look back, laugh, and think of it as happy. This is why everything in her life finally feels like it makes sense.

feel free to add on if you like. This is just my initial thoughts breaking down Question..? after last night

Tagging: @musicjunkie29 @deeenerys17 @hauntedromantics @littleeyelidsflutter (Ya'll seemed excited by the Musicjunkie's post so I thought of you all)

#taylor swift #matty healy #the 1975 #midnights #midnights 3am edition #question...?#1989 #taylor x matty #maylor #mattay #song analysis #lyrics

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taylor-on-your-dash · 11 months

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For me the saddest line of You're Losing Me wasn't "I wouldn't marry me either" but "Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light". I'm not surprised that Taylor doesn't think that she's worthy of marrying (whatever that means) cause Anti-Hero made clear that she has a low self-esteem. But hearing her singing about something so mundane like a room broke me. It seems like it's a room from the house that Taylor and Joe were looking to purchase. They were looking for a home that was supposed to be theirs. The room she loved is a metaphor for their relationship in a way. Your home is supposed to be the place where you feel the most comfortable. The room had daylight and it was golden but in the end their relationship wasn't

#taylor swift #you're losing me #joe alwyn #jaylor breakup #toe breakup #sappy time is over #taylor swift analysis #taylor swift song analysis

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goldandliquor · 3 months

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"No rules in breakable heaven* meaning

so I made this post about what "breakable heaven" refers to (tl;dr "breakable heaven” is about the fragility of love in the closet)

you have to remember the climactic line of cruel summer going into this discussion, i.e. "I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you". the relationship described in cruel summer is a secret one. there's no way around that.

keeping that in mind: "no rules in breakable heaven" is about the freedom (and the fear) that their secrecy provides.

"heaven" here refers to their relationship. "breakable" indicates a fear of that heaven's destruction. when taylor sings "no rules", she's saying that their relationship can't be limited by society, because of their secrecy.

the whole phrase indicates a forbidden relationship. why are there no rules? an ordinary healthy heterosexual relationship doesn't have rules, you know? she could be using it as a stand in for "boundaries", but like... the connotation of "rules" is that society is involved. "rules" are made up by a group of people for things that affect that group.

so taylor says "there are no rules here." nobody is watching. nobody knows. but their relationship is still fragile, as implied by "breakable". the problem with secrecy setting you free is that discovery will destroy you.

"no rules in breakable heaven" describes both the liberties and anxieties of a secret relationship.

note: if you read "rules" as code for "boundaries", then it takes a darker turn. in that case, taylor's saying that their secrecy means they can do whatever they want with each other, but they can also do whatever they want to each other. they're free to hurt each other because nobody will ever know.

#cruel summer #song analysis #taylor swift #gaylor #kaylor #asks

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agirlwiththoughtsandnegativity · 9 days

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You look like Clara bow, Stevie nicks, Taylor swift. Taylor saying each one in the song as something someone giving her a record deal would say, but it changes with time. At first it’s Clara bow they’re looking to replace, who they want someone to be a replica of. Then Stevie Nicks, and then Taylor Swift they’re trying to replace. I think what Taylor is trying to say with this is that the industry changes extremely fast, they want a new replica everyday, and they always want that person to be like the current “it girl”. So many record labels/agents are using Taylor and modelling their new artists off Taylor because of her immense current success. If they can re-create that, find someone who looks like Taylor but maybe with “edge she never had” then they think their new artist will have her fame, can take her place. And before Taylor, they did that to people like Clara Bow and Stevie Nicks.

#WARNING: INTENSE NONSENSICAL RAMBLING ⛔️⚠️⚠️#clara bow #the tortured poets department #tortured poets department #song analysis #lyric analysis #swifties #t swift #taylor nation #taylorswift #ttpd era #ts ttpd #ttpd tracklist #ts the eras tour #ttpd anthology #ttpd album #taylor swift analysis #taylor swift #ttpd

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tortured-swiftie · 8 days

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I have been fixated on How Did It End? for the last couple of days and Im ready to tentatively analyse some of the lyrics

Come one, come all, it's happenin' again | The empathetic hunger descends

Referring to how the public, the fans, the people around them will descend to find out how the relationship ended. Even though it'll be from a place of empathy, its hungry. They mean well, but they want the tea. This behaviour is referred to again in the second verse and chorus.

We'll tell no one except all of our friends

This line alludes to the desire for privacy, to tell only those they intimately know. But the inclusion of the word "all" implies the opposite. We'll only tell ALL of our friends, which is such a vague group of people, it could imply the entire world as well as their close loved ones.

Then feverishly calling their cousins | Didn't you hear? They called it all off" | One gasp and then | "How did it end?"

"Guess who we ran into at the shops? | Walking in circles like she was lost | Didn't you hear? They called it all off" | One gasp and then | "How did it end?"

There is something very voyeuristic about this experience. They all want a closer look at her pain. They are hungry to ogle at her falling apart. She is very aware the speculation and gossipping that will happen behind her back. How some people will rejoice at her pain and suffering. Like she has been brought down a peg or two.

I personally think Taylor is commenting on celebrity culture in a disdainful way (how closely watched the tour was, and how she was emotional during certain moments) and in the same breath she is embracing this, I think. She talks again and again about being free, letting herself be out in the world with an open heart.

I think this song is Taylor coming to terms with how being more open will result in speculation and gossip but this is how she has chosen to process her emotions and to an extent, to live.

#how did it end?#song analysis #ts #taylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #tortured poets

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loustyleshtommo · 8 days

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Song Theory of Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department: Track 28

Because Matty Healy is a stinky red herring. Let me tell you why Track 28 Peter is actually about Louis Tomlinson whose favorite number is 28, and present the evidence that Taylor Swift really said: forget that guy on the chief coming straight home to me. Goddess Karlie can STEP ON ME.

ps. I blame this entire song analysis on Taylor releasing folklore on One Direction’s 10th HBD.

Peter

Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless leader

“my lost fearless” could refer to Taylor’s second studio album. She lost that masters to Big Machine. Before she announced her re-release of Fearless (Taylor’s Version), Louis released his solo debut album Walls, with a song called Fearless, “Cash in your weekend treasure for a suit and tie, a second wife” seemingly referencing her Lover era (ME! mv) as well as her past relationship with Dianna Agron and her present with Karlie Kloss.

“Now I’m not saying that you could’ve done better. Just remember that I, I’ve seen that fire alight.” Louis knew Taylor was planning to come out and was well on her way to execute that plan before it all went wrong. (Re: The 2019 NYC Pride Parade Outfit She Never Wore)

His song was encouraging her to become that fearless again. To tell her that he knew she tried. But why did Louis have to reassure Taylor? Why did Taylor feel the need to apologize to Louis?

In closets like cedar preserved from when we were just kids.

Both Louis and Taylor were queer kids who got stuck in the closets as soon as they stepped foot onto the music industry scene. It’s not a pleasant place to be. Just listen to the anxiety in Taylor’s voice when she asked “Are we out of the woods?”

Was it something I did?

Who could ever forget the Haylor Winter Romance? One Direction dropped their second studio album “Take Me Home”. During that promo season, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift got papped together a lot. The fandoms were divided. Some fans still believed in Larry Stylinson and/or Swiftgron. But the tabloids insisted it gotta be Haylor. Is it Taylor’s fault that they’re still stuck in the closet today? If she hadn’t participated in handholding in Central Park/NYE kiss/Blue Dress on a Boat, would everything be different today?

The goddess of timing once found us beguiling

Both Louis and Taylor were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time for their music career to start like shooting stars (Louis: we were lucky once, I could be lucky again.)

The things about “beguiling” is that it doesn’t only mean enchanting/charming, it has the connotation of being deceptive. The goddess of timing did not find them to be truthful.

She said she was trying.

Actual deity is all powerful and rarely has to try. This is such a human quality. This person is comparable to a Goddess but she’s still just a person. I believe that the Goddess of Timing here is Kali, while the person Taylor is calling a Goddess is Karlie.

Kali is a Goddess from Hinduism aka the same place as the concept of karma (who is Taylor’s boyfriend when she wrote the songs. But once she put it out and performs it for the audience, she no longer thinks of the song Karma as her own. In her mind, it already belongs to the fans. And if that’s the kind of entertainment they’re expecting, she will continue to sing “Karma is the guy on the Chief coming straight home to me.” Because the Goddess already sees her as a liar, what difference adding one more lie is gonna make? (Did she forget about the last straw?))

Peter, was she lying?

For the Goddess of time, this is the same question about fame (what Taylor earned with the help of fortunate timing) that Taylor has been wondering about since her first Speak Now era: Never Grow Up (Keep this line in mind, it will come into play later: It’s so much colder than I thought it would be, so I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up. (Such a Peter Pan thing to think.) Continued into RED (Lucky One: Now my name is up in the light. I wonder if I’d make it out alive) All the way to Clara Bow in the tortured poets department. It’s the question that’s been haunting her for ages.

For the person comparable to the Goddess, was Karlie lying? Well, if she really is with Taylor then she’s also very deep in the closet and hiding a core truth about herself. So, yes, she was lying.

My ribs got the feeling she did

This is the line that cements it for me.

This Goddess must be Kali.

And Taylor fancies herself Kali’s consort.

One of the most popular form of Kali is Dakshina Kali. She is typically shown with her right foot on her consort’s chest. It’s a show of his devotion to her.

I got the information of Kali legend from Wikipedia, and this is what THE POETS got to say about the guy at her feet.

Here’s the thing, those who worship Kali are said to be able to overcome death itself. (Honey, I rose up from the death I do it all the time. Reputation is a Karlie album confirmed by a Goddess.)

Another thing about Kali is that she is not just a Goddess of Time. She is also known as Mother Goddess; Goddess of Time, Change, Creation, Power, Destruction and Death. (So basically, the entire theme of the Tortured Poets Department. Damn, girl. Way to talk about devotion.)

Another form of Goddess Karlie Kali with her left foot on her consort, Shiva, is much more violent. She was in uncontrollable rage. To stop her from destroying the entire universe, Taylor Shiva laid down on her warpath. When she stomped on him (and likely hurt his ribs in the process, ouch), she realized with horror that she had gone too far. (Taylor’s The Great War: The worst was over…I vowed, I will always be yours.)

And I didn’t want to come down.

I thought it was just goodbye for now.

The pre-chorus subject will later change from I to We, but the theme of thinking they would have more time keeps coming back around. Taylor still wanted her name up in the light. She thought she would have more time. She thought hiding crucial part of herself was just a temporary thing.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

This chorus is why I think the YOU in this song is Louis/Harry. The anxiety-inducing repetition is reminiscent of Out Of The Woods aka the song I believe was written from Louis’s perspective, and also contained one of her earliest blatantly queer-coded lyrics: The rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colors.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

In the early One Direction days, Louis once admitted that growing old is one of his worst fears. Isn’t that the most Peter Pan thing you’ve ever heard? Taylor be like “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” This is one of the many reasons why I think William Bowery has never, ever, ever been Joe, but rather was actually Louis William Tomlinson (who curses like a sailer so much that infects Taylor. She never dropped f-bomb before she started writing with WB). The ships passing in the night imagery is such a Louis and Harry thing, and Taylor started using it heavily from 1989 onwards. Aka the album she wrote Style and invited the fella over there with a hella good hair to come shake it off.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

But can they really shake off the tumultuous emotions of hiding the love of your life like a skeleton in your closets? No matter how many hiding places she knew?

Words from the mouth of babes

Exhibit A to infinity: baby boyfriends

Promises oceans deep

Rope & Anchor, Ship & Compass, Pirates and nautical theme couple tattoos. You name it, they got it. Louis’s Strong and Harry’s Happily lethal combo: My hand, your hand tied up like two ships. I don’t care what people say when we’re together.

But never to keep

Exhibit crying in a cool way:

1D’s Something Great: The script was written and I could not change a thing.

1D’s Story of My Life: Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain

Harry horse-noises-and-i-would-lean-towards-no Styles, Sweet Creature who? Never heard of her.

Louis doesn’t-know-what-tattoo-he-got Tomlinson, but this compass is so sweet for pointing home, innit?

Never to keep

How many times are they going to have to deny their love? How many times do they have to parade around with someone else for the camera? How many times do they have to bring up conspiracies and how unfair it is for their loved ones? They keep doing things that practically break a promise of ALWAYS IN MY HEART. Are they doomed to never keeping their promises?

Are you still a mind reader?

It’s not just Louis’s Fearless song before she unlocked the vault to Fearless (Taylor’s Version), just look at the way he wrote lyrics that Taylor clearly had in mind:

Louis in Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: I know you left a part of you in New York

Taylor in Hoax: You knew I left a part of me back in New York

Louis for 1D’s Love You Goodbye: Baby, go on, twist the knife

Taylor in Hoax: my twisted knife, my winless fight

Louis for 1D’s Midnight Memories first leaked: Diana, let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. I don’t think you even realize, but, baby, you’d be saving mine.

Taylor in reputation’s Call It What You Want: You don’t have to save me. But would you run away with me? Yes. And keep this line in mind: My baby’s fly like a jet stream.

A natural scene stealer?

I mean, I am very biased. But Louis has always stolen the scene. Whether it be “NO! Jimmy protested” on the staircase, Kevin the Pigeon, it said do not dial 9 so I dialed 9, or when singing/carrying 1D choruses, especially clear in What Makes You Beautiful and Story of My Life a cappella version.

In relation to Taylor, as soon as Haylor officially ended according to tabloid, Louis proceeded to get this giant Swift bird tattoo in his right arm.

And remember the game 1D played for FOUR promo? Louis wasn’t even trying to do anything funny and the universe was like let’s make sure the pulling-words-out-of-hats game has the funniest possible outcomes.

Harry: mine said Louis Tomlinson

Niall: got papped snogging

Zayn: Taylor Swift

*chaos erupts*

Louis: *incredulous laughter*

Harry: *seize the opportunity for the funniest joke ever* I mean, you could’ve told me

Louis: Jesus.

Anyhow, I digress. Niall said without Louis, 1D would be the most boring band in the world.

I’ve heard great things, Peter.

I mean, World Tours/Festivals/Faith in the Future. Yup, great things indeed. But it also implied that they hadn’t seen each other in person for a while. (That’s why I still on the clown train that WB is Louis. They wrote together in lockdown. Nobody was out to see anybody.)

But life was always easier on you than it was on me.

This is where I am extremely dubious of my own clown theory. I don’t believe Louis had it easier than Taylor, especially given how he lost his mom and his sister. But it helps that the next line made it clear which aspect of life she was talking about.

And sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream.

This line really takes Harry out as a contender for being Peter/you. Because he already has his own place here. He’s the “your jet stream”. My baby’s fly like a jet stream. Harry is Louis’s baby. It’s been well-documented in the Larry Stylinson fandom/organization/conspiracy/call it what you want to. 😂

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

Both Taylor and Harry did the best they could do under the same circumstance. From the point of view on earth, there is only one moon. It seems so big and just within reach. But when we zoom out to the level of galaxies, it’s practically impossible to pinpoint the same moon among billions of other celestial bodies. Yet, the dark night cycle for Taylor and Harry is exactly the same. They’re both stuck in the same style of closet from when they were just kids. (Womanizer/Slut aka someone with many different partners, before it shifted to long-term low-key/marriage material themes. Likely due to the songs they kept writing which couldn’t possibly be about one-night stands, no matter which angle anyone look at it. The messages are loud and clear. They are in love and deeply devoted to one person only.) The difference is Taylor didn’t get to meet Karlie before the industry broke her spirit down. (Let all your damage, damage me.) But Louis and Harry have always had each other to rely on. #welivetogetherdealwithit.

Harry was once asked if falling in love is the best part of a relationship. Well, he said he actually believed the best part after that initial rush of infatuation is becoming a team. If that’s not enough to sound like someone in a long-term committed relationship. Harry also has a habit of singing “I’m in love with Lou and all his little things”/ “You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to. You’re still the one I want for life.” /“Hopelessly devoted to Lou.”

So, yeah. No wonder Taylor believed life was always easier on Louis and Harry than it was on her. Not even mentioning the things she said on The Man: I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man.

And I didn’t wanna hang around.

So Karlie and Harry was seen hanging out once and never again.

We said it was just goodbye for now.

I think Louis/Harry and Taylor/Karlie were always planning to come out at the same time, but that coming out schedule kept getting postponed.

You said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Said you were gonna grow up and you were gonna come find me.

Words from the mouth of babes

Promises oceans deep

But never to keep

Never to keep

It’s the same ol’ shit, just different days. The anxious anticipation and fear of consequences for when they finally come out feel oceans deep. They can’t get rid of it. But they still can’t commit to it 100% either. All they could do was making promises after promises with blatant Easter eggs like Harry running around with rainbow flags on stage, Louis wearing a giant golden H on his chest for his livestream during COVID-19 lockdown, Taylor’s entire Lover era. The list goes on and on.

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn.

I’m gonna let the burning of Lover house in the Eras tour speak for itself. Their plan to come out was a failure time and time again.

As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return.

As Taylor kept switching out these Kens, while stuck in the same ol’ closet, she still hoped Louis won’t give up on their plan.

Well, here’s Louis in Just Like You aka the song he announced on National Coming Out Day saying: 25 and it’s all planned.

Did that plan include dropping his album Walls with Come so far from Princess Park & For every question why, you were my because on the last day that Harry was 25 years old? Because that happened.

And here’s Taylor in Lover for Death By A Thousand Cuts: Paper cuts sting from our paper thin plans.

Did that paper thin plan include Taylor releasing ME! on Lesbian’s Visibility Day? Because that happened.

Soon we will see the reason why Taylor would be asking for forgiveness from Louis. But let’s see first what she was hoping for and didn’t get.

With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned.

Remember Cloud lyrics from 1D: Some days you’re gonna see the things that I see… Never coming back down.

And from Louis’s Walls in We Made It: Never coming down with your hand in mine.

Because the thing about We Made It, is Louis still had to throw in a line for his girlfriend Eleanor. Yes, Harry and Louis made it. But they’re still stuck in the closet, anyway.

'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

This is when I realize that Taylor has been tracing the stepping stones, starting from most recent events and making her way back to the start in a non-linear manner. Well, she certainly did called this album a post-mortem study. But exactly whose death are we mourning in this particular song right here?

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Remember Harry’s “Not That Important”? Or all the Rainbow Bondage Bear and Sugar Baby Bear RBB/SBB shenanigans? Louis and Harry were throwing themselves at the closet door, banging against it and making such loud noises. They wanted so badly to show the world that they’re together while still in the band. That fantasy was one hell of a drug. Especially after Zayn left and they felt like they’ve got nothing left to lose. That was, until Belfast (where a Victorian-styles woodvale park is located, remember that not-an-Easter-Egg-I-promise! in Taylor’s hide-and-seek edition of folklore? Uh huh.) and babygate caged them into ironclad closet. But it wasn’t only just those events and One Direction going on hiatus that ensured Louis was completely and utterly lost.

Louis was trying so hard to make everyone sees that he’s not the father. He was so, so loud about it. So loud that it’s still causing troubles every time he brings up Freddie TODAY. Way too loud to ever be shut down, basically.

Louis was doing everything he could to leave the closet. But in December 2016, he lost his mom and turned twenty-five.

How could anyone expect a grieving boy to have another fight left in him?

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold on (hold on) to the days (to the days) when you were mine.

Louis performed Just Hold On for the first time only days after his mom passing. In front of the person who made damn sure he couldn’t be himself under the spotlight. It’s a testament to his strength and I will never stop admiring his resilience. And although Taylor didn’t come through with their coming out plan, someone else made sure to have done the leg work.

Before her passing, Johannah, Louis’s mother, took the time to delete all of Freddie pictures off of her instagram, two weeks after she told Louis that she had terminal cancer.

(How do I know this? Well, it’s a hindsight is 20/20 thing. When Jay did that, fans had no clue she was sick and dying.

Years later, Louis talked about his mom breaking the bad news when he was at Jamie Vardy’s wedding.

And that wedding happened a fortnight before Jay removed all of Freddie pictures.)

Louis’s mom took out the rose thorns and made damn sure her baby boy could walk down their memory lane with the least pain possible. Louis had a great mom who taught him how to get through the darkest nights.

And though it’s not acknowledged so publicly, Louis has had Harry by his side all this time. I don’t think Louis ever needed an apology from Taylor just because they couldn’t complete their plan to come out/“Speak Now” in time for his mom to hear it, too.

Regardless, it’s possible that Taylor still felt really, really shitty for failing to execute their coming out plan as grief-stricken Louis ran out of time. By the time her scathing reputation prologue letter came around (as if inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test), it seemed Louis was in too deep with the conspiracy from One Direction days to ever be rid of it now. Quite literally lost to the lost boys chapter of his life

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light.

And I’m not gonna lie, the sudden reappearance of present tense in descriptive lyrics here gave me a jolt of anxiety. Taylor already released Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) in which she repeated “So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on. Wish I’d never grow up.”

See, if we’re sticking with the original story of Peter Pan, Wendy grew up and Peter Pan didn’t. But in this version of the story, our Peter Pan aka Louis had been through such grief that pushed him to grow up first. He’s actually the one waiting now. Wendy aka Taylor had been playing catch up. (Fuck 🛴 for that.) Hence, this present tense about the woman who has turned out the light is the continuation of wait for the signal and I’ll meet you after dark.

By the way, how does the intro sequence of The Eras Tour go again?

It’s been a long time coming. It’s you and me. It’s Fearless. Big reputation. And they said Speak Now. Into folklore. My name is Taylor and I was born in 1989. Hey! evermore. Loving him was red. Meet me at midnight. Nice! Lover.

It’s you and me that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.

Taylor started her Eras Tour with Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince. The song I believe was written to Louis from Harry’s perspective. “You know I adore you. I’m crazier for you than I was at sixteen.” Corresponding nicely with the song 18 that one of her best friends, Ed Sheeran, wrote for One Direction. The one Louis used to sing as “I have loved him since we were eighteen.” And Harry immediately followed up by screaming “Sixteen!” at the crowd.

You said you were gonna grow up