#talking shit abt mentality or whatever else like. I’m sorry but you don’t get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wendytestabrat · 4 months

Text

heidi was based for being able to see the good in cartman

ik heidi sucks but one thing i gotta give her credit for was her being able to see the good in cartman when no one else could. i hate how in this scene all the girls try to treat her like she’s crazy for pointing out cartman has good qualities which he clearly DOES have which was why she fell for him in the first place. they’re just tryna gaslight her and be like “but he’s racist and a sociopath!1!!1” to dismiss her feelings and what she legitimately saw in him, which deadass is how the entire fanbase acts when cartman fans try to explain why we like him and they’ll just use the same ass arguments over and over saying how we shouldn’t like him bc he’s a racist sociopath LOL, but that’s a whole different story. also wendy’s bitchass is tryna pretend like she didn’t fall for cartman and kiss him too that one time like OK WENDY SURE. i’m not getting into that right now lol, but that bitch knows damn well what heidi is talking abt here.

CARTMAN’S GOOD QUALITIES:

•he has rizz

•he’s confident af

•he’s funny and has a good sense of humor (which is sure to impress the ladies)

•he’s tough and resilient (maybe not physically tough but DEF mentally tough)

•he’s emotionally intelligent af

•he’s a good leader

•he has good social skills

•he’s loyal, caring, & protective (at least when someone RLLY matters to him which he was with heidi in the beginning of their relationship)

•he has a soft sensitive side and likes cats and shit

like it’s commendable af that heidi not only saw the good in cartman, but OWNED the fact that she liked him and gave him a chance and wasn’t embarrassed to date him or anything. wheras bitchass kyle is always pretending he doesn’t like him and when wendy liked him she freaked tf out and kissed him so she could get rid of those feelings and move on. bebe is prob the real snake of the group bc she also was mean af to wendy when she liked cartman dhdjwksks so wendy prob feels like she has to be a bitch too to go along with bebe’s bs.

like i’m sorry but the proper reaction when u find out ur friend likes a guy is NOT this. it’s to support them and be like “aww you should ask him out” or whatever like even if u don’t like that guy and wouldn’t date him yourself. SMH. (and also this was s4 back when cartman had hardly done anything wrong yet. he was just fat, stupid, and lazy so bebe was rlly just being a bully here for acting like he wasn’t dateable). that episode comes to mind from drake & josh when josh thought drake would hate him for dating mindy bc drake finds her annoying but then he turned out to be supportive af bc he was just happy that josh finally found a girlfriend lol. drake was a real bro for that bc that’s the right way to handle shit when someone close to u is dating a person even if u don’t like them.

youtube

#Youtube #south park #kyman #heiman #cartman x wendy #heidi turner

37 notes · View notes

roseillith · 3 months

Note

Pls don’t hurt yourself. Deleting a blog is one thing but pls don’t hurt yourself. So sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. You put so much joy and beauty into the world via this blog im one of many recipients of that and no matter how you feel you look like externally, i and many others get a chance to see your soul and it’s beautiful, expansive, smart, inspirational and full of humour! As a black person I also sometimes feel alienated and off key when my fam speak ga of twi around me and yet haven’t taught me, sometimes I feel so disconnected from everyone and feel like I’m floating away with nothing to hold me, no anchor to any sort of real meaningful life. Betrayal from friends or from love, broken heartedness, loneliness strike but still there is a lil bit of light, there is the wind blowing on my face, a glass of water, a favourite song, some sun. There are small joys that remind us we are not alone. And You are not alone and I hope that one day soon you receive all the joy light and good energy you put into this harsh world. Pls don’t give up. We love you, keep your head up

tyvm I appreciate your message deeply, I feel a constant push n pull whenever I log on & post on here, the things that I’ve posted recently (including this) has made feel ashamed in that I have spilled out all of my thoughts n feelings out on this public platform, the same place that I’ve been constructing as way to separate my physical& literal self and run towards things that I have stored inside me, all of the stuff the I carry along with me whenever I’m out in public, that I know I can’t share w/ any nigga that I know out there instead I try to avert my eyes from all other dudes out there cuz I know I don’t fit in and feel physically gross when I’m around w/ a bunch of dudes, me failing to be a man in general and avoid man-to-man convos irl and instead retreating those inner stuff into the girl that I want to be, the kind of girl where I know I can apply all the totality of myself out there into the world.

Now I’m just staring at this public persona that I have made of myself feeling increasingly distant day-to-day and I wonder why I put all my all into this blog w/ gifs,pics,anime stuff, film stuff, music stuff etc. when I can’t muster up the courage to talk about all that shit outside out aloud without having to be disgusted from hearing the sound of my voice or/and how the person/s I’m saying it to is even viewing me physically & as a person/“grown up man” having the courage to go out and transition to the girl that I can see in the distance.

The one rule I had when making this blog was to never spill out my personal shit of actually being a man irl who’s found solace and significant more ease in being a woman online cuz I know that if I ever did that it would be embarrassing & the end for me personally, I wouldn't be able to look myself in the eye, all the shit that I had posted on here it all being a lie to me, and worse of all I never really took in any support from anyone else here I had this lone wolf-esque mentality where I always try and not get close to anybody I was mutuals w/, never share anything abt my personal shit, always looking through the window seeing other ppl chill with others, and when I look at myself on here I’m feel still as alone as I do irl & tbh much of it is my fault from not being able to put myself out there and feeling disassociated from myself in whatever I do on here and irl

#answered #txt

49 notes · View notes

vonkarma2 · 1 year

Note

18 + 19 + 28 -> for ocs of your choice if you’re still doing it

these questions would be super easy if provided an oc but I’m incapable of picking one I’m actually dying. ok whatever ⬅️quotes from me that I typed out several weeks ago back then this was first asked. sorry

a memory that still makes your OC angry?

So this was difficult because like. Any specific memory I know a character has, especially one that still emotionally affects them to this day, is probably important to their backstory and as such I’ve definitely talked about it before at length so I don’t want to go over it again yk? So that leaves me with the other option of making shit up specifically for this ask game ok umm

I think the characters most driven by anger are Angel, Gloria, and Silence so I think. I’ll cover all of them very vaguely and not really answer the question because it’s hard aha so basically.

Growing up alongside other children, who typically did not like him for reasons justified and not, Angel has a lot of memories that make him furious to think about, like since the house staff didn’t really like him either they’d sometimes side against him for things that weren’t his fault. He doesn’t think about it often but whenever he does it still makes him mad to this day. He thinks it’s wrong to be like biased against a child but he

Something that makes Gloria kinda a contrast to Rocio and Angel as characters is that she does have a lot of like, experience in life for lack of a better word. She’s been around the world, she’s met and had some various types of relationships with other people, even though they were mostly very shallow, had a lot of different types of life experiences and viewed that as like, how her life was from then on. Except no she didn’t, because the whole time she was tied down to the past like mentally? I was going to say she’s probably had some experiences during her travels that she gets mad to think about but honestly I don’t think she does— these days she’s really good at just letting things go because she doesn’t get too attached to anything in the first place, so even if people have betrayed her or tried to kill her or some shit like that, it wouldn’t make her angry to think about. It’s like she always feels like she’s in search of something or running away from something because she’s still mad abt her childhood and feels like she hasn’t resolved her problems with it or confronted the issue in any meaningful way, so it stays with her yk? Most of what makes her actually genuinely mad is like. Following childhood trauma being raised by someone who didn’t seem to have any compassion for or understanding of you at all.

Silence lived in an environment kind of similar to Angel’s in that it was ran by like strict guardians who emphasized morality but it was like. A wider and pretty isolated community. So she felt like that was what the entire world was like, like she was basically trapped with everyone, and since the society encouraged emotional repression, she never saw anyone else displaying like the same dissatisfaction she felt so as far as she knew everyone was all the same. Started to like hate everyone she knew including herself and view people as fundamentally evil. (That’s part of why when meeting Cirillo she liked him so much like he was genuinely trying to be understanding. She thought he had an ulterior motive at first but since he didn’t have or want any power over anyone she eventually like warmed up to him yk.) She has a lot of bad memories of being punished or like shamed for getting mad and like raising her voice and things like that.

a memory that still makes your OC sad?

You know what’s interesting about sadness is that typically it doesn’t drive you to act so much as like anger or fear do, more so it drives you to like not act. Like to just give up and let things happen to you, yk, like be apathetic and stop caring. So it’s not as much of a motivating force as much as it is a hamper to your motivation. That’s not related to the question but it’s interesting 2 me. Anyway.

I think the character who feels the most regret about their past has to be Cirillo, but Ive already talked about him a lot and Jacinto is similar so I think I’ll talk about them instead. God they’re so hard to write I’m going to lose it I have to change something about their character. Them and Gloria I think could do with more focus/nuance, like more specific plot events to work with. But like anyway, I think a lot of memories, even ones they like thinking of in the moment, end up making them feel sad in the long run because they are pretty stuck in the past— the more they think of good memories with like their brother or their best friend, the more they feel like their life is basically over. That’s pretty dark I feel so bad about it I’m sorry 😞😞😞 they pretty much didn’t do anything wrong. I guess on the bright side, though thinking about older memories makes them feel like their life is empty Now, and they definitely are aware they’ve made mistakes in the past, it does make them feel like they have contributed something to the world in the past? Like their life overall had some meaning and so that helps them feel a bit more at peace I guess. It makes them feel sad, for sure, but in a bittersweet way yk.

is your OC a dog or cat person?

dog: rocio (only like hunting/working dogs), cirillo, gloria (only the cool ones, but the criteria for what makes dogs qualify as such is unclear and constantly changing. it’s pretty much whether she vibes with the specific individual dog immediately or not), tiago (I think he’d be the type to feed stray dogs whenever he sees them), jacinto (appreciates how theyre more straightforward to take care of, and more outwardly energetic and affectionate usually), joanna, joseph (thinks they are fun to play with)

cat: angel (likes both, prefers cats very narrowly. probably the place he grew up had a couple cats living in the building. also probably would have seen some stray dogs in the area though), laura, lucia, victor (actively dislikes dogs, scared of larger ones and annoyed by smaller ones)

^these aren’t all the characters ofc but I’m not doing everyone because the list got too long. can’t be bothered to try to remember every character there’s like 15 of them what am I Einstein 🙄

#I like talking abt ocs I promise #apparently more general prompts just make me explode and die #also this post kinda implies the characters can be sorted into categories of like #being driven by 1 primary emotion which ofc isn’t the case #especially because emotions can come from others yk #like anger coming from fear sadness coming from anger #I like talking abt that kind of thing because I think analyzing character motivations #is one of my favorite things abt making ocs #anyway thanks for asking for real :)#my ocs #I had more to say abt Victor and Jacinto #but didn’t because I wanted 2 finish writing this. sometime this month

2 notes · View notes

daz4i · 2 years

Note

Bestie. Bestie. I know I've already sent him for a character meme before, but that was a long time ago and also this one is ~detailed~ so. Takuto, if you'll indulge me? :3

Also! If I may, I'm sending Akechi too 'cause we all want to talk about our blorbos ^^ <3

mwah thank you bestie 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

takuto:

What I like about them: he’s genuinely such an interesting character. his role in the story is generally such a sexy one (anti-villains are p rare from my experience so it’s so cool to see one). i love his confidant and even his class questions and his presence is genuinely very calming

What I dislike about them: why are you me. i’m me

Favourite moment: that one scream after the fist fight. you know the one

Least favourite moment: hmmmmm not sure if i have one i particularly dislike but ig while they’re very plot and character important, his one on one conversations with the thieves can be a bit slow and at times even uncomfortable to watch bc of second hand embarrassment lmao

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: i really wanna know what happens to him in his reality! we see him basically become a nobody, the thieves don’t recognize him, and i assume it’s his doing? so i’m curious, once everyone’s happiness is actualized, what does he have left to do?? what does he do??? pls i need answers

An interesting AU for this character: curious to think abt how thing’s would’ve gone if he told akira from the start he knows they’re the pt and abt the metaverse and cogpsi. like, how would the thieves react? would they be more guarded around him, or more open? would he become a confidant to them all? idk it’s interesting!!!! idek if it counts as an au bc it’s more canon divergence but eh.

A crossover: i’m ngl my brain is flat out of ideas. fuck it. the bible. biggest crossover of the year. ig it’s technically already canon but anyway

OTP: takuto x you u3u

Other ships?: takurumi ofc! and i think his ship with zenkichi is cute!

BROTP: shibusawa true bro xx

NOTP: whatever his ship with akira is called. for obvious reasons

An assortment of headcanons! (but this post is long enough as is so i’m limiting myself to one): that man lives in the lamest ass apartment you’ve seen in your life. he does NOT get paid enough to afford more. rip king

goro:

What I like about them: the mental illness(es) and everything else also

What I dislike about them: uuuuuuuh ig he’s got some moments that give me second hand embarrassment?? esp in his detective persona. i’m sorry goro you posted cringe you’re gonna lose subscriber

Favourite moment: any time he’s being unhinged during the third semester 😍 but esp as a navi

Least favourite moment: genuinely can’t choose bc any moment that may be cringe is just so funny or i’m simply too happy he’s there that i can’t bring myself to dislike it. ig in his original confidant some of the ranks were a bit boring? so just pick one of those rank ups where he just says how interesting it is to talk to akira despite us never seeing them talk

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: you know that deleted content from royal where he’s in a rehab center? yeah i wanna know what’s up with that and have more information and see how he heals and how he is afterwards

An interesting AU for this character: actual detective goro........ him solving crimes he didn’t commit himself.......... solving mysteries........... connecting dots and following leads...... perhaps with a trusty partner who looks great in drag called watso- *gets shot*

A crossover: i’m making him besties with dimitri fire emblem even if it’s the last thing i do

OTP: my special little polycule of goro x akira x haru x yusuke. but also just akeshu

Other ships?: akekita, akeharu, ryugoro

BROTP: futago and anngoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTP: recently found out some ppl actually ship him with shido and well. i’m not here to police anyone’s ships but Keep That Shit Away From Me

Extra headcanon: autistic king. masking expert and hyperaware of people’s perception of him due to years of trauma. his special interest is featherman. stims by fiddling with his gloves. i’m right about this

send some characters?

#long post

6 notes · View notes

tenderlyrenjun · 2 years

Note

feel free to ignore this but i just scrolled through your profile and the amount of anons being so fucking shitty actually pissed me off immensely. i’m so annoyed that people are being so nasty to you. i started reading "when it comes to us" and it’s genuinely really good so i’m just really confused by the criticism…?? i’m sorry, i’m sure this isn’t the type of ask you particularly want or are looking for, nor am i trying to give you unwarranted pity but this is genuinely just weird, unsettling, and honestly angering to read. your writing is good and i don’t lie abt stuff like that, so whoever is constantly dropping into your inbox to talk shit is looking for a reaction and you should really stop giving it to them. this is some miserable ass behavior it’s disgusting.

i hope your bad day becomes amazing, i understand your frustrations with tumblr and i hope it all goes back to normal soon and that you can feel happier on this account, though maybe it might be time for a new start.

thanks, im glad you liked when it comes to us; it’s one of my favorite fic ideas that I’ve thought of, although, if it is plagiarism, I’ll delete it

honestly, the criticism doesnt really matter … nothing really matters. it’s the primary feedback I get on my fics at this point, really; I dont really deserve feedback, and I guess it’s fine that people feel … something enough to say something, even if it is criticism, or whatever; it’s something; I dont really deserve comments; I’m just too focused on external validation when I should be writing for myself. I tried ignoring all the criticizing anons, and I dont answer all of the anons, mostly because I dont have the mental capacity for my sole feedback to be criticism all the time (it used to be worse), but I also get the “why are you ignoring me coward”-type of messages, so yeah, i dont really know where to go from there. honestly, it’s deserved; I know why I get so many of these types of anons - criticism or just angry, and it’s deserved. Im not a good enough writer (im barely a writer tbh) to get anything else, unless it’s just … indifference. It doesn’t matter.

thanks, I hope you have a good day, sorry to be so negative; im considering deleting my blog and just giving up, but idk; it’s just a pros and cons list at the moment; im going to go over it with my therapist later; it’s fine. it’s not that big of a deal; its just fanfiction; it’s not that deep and no one owes me anything; I should just … I should just be grateful that I get the feedback in the first place because I dont really deserve it; no one owes me anything and I just need to take the comments as they come.

#you must be new … it used to be a lot worse #a lot of people kept telling me that I should be grateful someone reads my fic in the first place even if I dont get comments #its fine … its not important … I dont really deserve it anyways. im just too focused on external validation #// delete later #< I’ll edit this ask #about when it comes to us

0 notes

sabertoothwalrus · 3 years

Note

i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.

cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.

ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.

if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.

sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get

1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful

I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development

#also I love ‘meet me on the roof at our usual spot’#but he DOESNT HAVE HIS MIRACULOUS #NCBDBSHDHGJG #HOW DID HE GET UP THERE #miraculous ladybug

406 notes · View notes

lunaastoir · 3 years

Text

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does)

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,)

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself

miss girl is an AMAZING cook

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on

this man,,, THIS MAN

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him?

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!!

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

805 notes · View notes

ruvatia · 3 years

Note

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. ��Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

#voltron writings #shiro x reader #takashi shirogane x reader #keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #lance x reader #lance mcclain x reader #hunk x reader #hunk garett x reader #pidge x reader #katie holt x reader #for context this was requested around june 2020 #its a year late and thata my fault wjdjan

150 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

Note

Hey Dani

I’m really struggling right now

My relationship with my parents has taken a bad turn, and I don’t think I know it

My brother has ADHD and me and my friend have been talking abt me possibly being autistic for a while now, after a combination of things, and I’ve just been noticing a lot of things and I’ve realised that I can’t possibly be neurotypical and a lot of people have been noticing it

But my parents - particularly my dad - keep making the ‘oh you’re just autistic joke’ since most of my extended family are adhd. And then my brother jumps in yelling SHES AUTISTIC GET A TEST and then they say oh no you’re not autistic you just have autistic tendencies. like bro what does that even mean

So that’s just been really confusing, they also made a ‘joke’ about me being a psychopath. And they say that I’m a horrible person a lot just because of random things I say when I actually care about things a lot I’m just bad at filtering and they get quite angry when I react to things and make fun of me a lot and honestly I’m just tired of it all. It doesn’t help, especially when I’ve been noticing all these things which is making day to day interaction so much harder and it’s getting to the point where I just don’t want to hang out with people anymore because I’m constantly worried I’m gonna say something wrong and then not know what to do about it.

I can’t talk to them about it the only person I talk to is my best friend and there’s nothing he can really do. The thing that really irritates me is how quick they are to diagnose people with adhd/autism but they refuse to see the symptoms in their own daughter. like they clearly know it’s there, since they make the jokes, but they’re just refusing to even consider it and it’s making my life so stressful

Part of me wants to get an assessment but they can take a really long time and if it turns out I’m not actually autistic then I’m just going to be even more confused and constantly wondering what’s wrong with me and I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore. Whenever I’m alone I just want to break down

It doesn’t help that I’ve got a ton of exams in two weeks and I’m super stressed about them and all of that on top of each other plus the fact that one of my friends blatantly told me that he doesn’t like me and thinks I’m annoying and now is refusing to even look at/speak to me is just not helping and I don’t know what to do

Hello, love.

I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time.

About the family thing. I hate it families do that. I hate it when they rationalize or trivialize mental/physical health issues. These are real problems and they need real solutions. Please know that you don't need an official diagnosis for your family/parents to treat you with empathy and respect. That's just basic decency. If you can talk to them about it, at least mention that their jokes are hurting your feelings. I once did that with my mom. It helped with the situation a little.

I would also suggest that you do get a diagnosis. See. If it's something else, we wouldn't think it over so much. If it's something to do with our heart or like liver or whatever, even if it's the tiniest symptom, we get it checked immediately. We don't do the same when for mental or developmental issues. Even IF it turns out that you are not autistic, I think the diagnosis would still help you a lot. So, please give this a think and see how you feel about it. Maybe go with one of your friends. It will give you some strength to be there with someone who gets you.

I hope the exam goes well. If you want to get your exams over with and tackle this after, then do that. Our energy is not infinite. We can only bear so much. So, try to prioritize. Always choose what is best for your mind and healthy.

You can always reach out to me if you want to talk this over or need any help.

PS - Fuck that friend. That's it. What a shit. I don't have anything to say about that friend. Focus on things you can control and ignore people who make you bad about yourself.

Sending you loads and loads of love.

PPS - If anyone has any advice for Bee on the autism diagnosis, please do share <3

#support #bee happy

12 notes · View notes

ablednt · 3 years

Note

oh my gosh thank you so much for talking abt exotrauma, it's SO stigmatized and it affects our system really intensely. people genuinely struggling with any mental health issues deserve help and support and people who experience endotrauma or "this world" trauma should be able to have their own spaces and communities without attacking and invalidating other vulnerable and mentally ill people. like??? we are also "regular" trauma survivors and we have genuinely been harassed out of survivor spaces because we have exotrauma even though we have trauma from this world too that's very similar and that's what we were in those spaces for. it makes me so mad when people pretend to care about survivors and use that as an excuse to attack others but ESPECIALLY others who are already hurt and vulnerable. i do not care about ur trauma status or whatever else if u have exotrauma u deserve help and recovery and to have safe spaces to discuss ur experiences and im sorry that there's so much stigma out there that prevents us from getting the help we need :(

YEAH SERIOUSLY like yes obviously if anyone is trying to say shit like "I experienced [X] in a past life that means im an authority on it" that's bad but as far as I've seen the main ppl doing that are unnafiliated spiritual ppl who don't even know about kin or system vocabulary.

They're really like "Yes you came up with a term to separate your experiences from traumatized people out of respect. Anyway fuck you take my trauma if you want it so bad!" and it doesn't make SENSE

Anyway my exotrauma effects me more than the body's trauma because the body's trauma is repressed but my exotrauma is painfully graphic and I am forced to relive it often and it really sucks because it's not something I can really just unload on friends but it's just different enough from the body's trauma I can't get therapy for it so I'm stuck with this for life lmao.

#outbox #ask to tag #the diskhorse is so stupid and full of bad faith takes and its just grrrrr #anyway if therapists could start treating systems and similar with dignity and treat our exotrauma too that'd be great

8 notes · View notes

fairycosmos · 3 years

Note

i hate grief bc i've wanted to die my whole life and thinking about the person i lost never wanted to make me stay but now that they are the ones who died i'm angry as fuck every day and feel trapped but i know that if it had been me the one to die it would have been ok and i wouldnt even have worried about it/hurting ppl with my death. like every day i do H and get drunk and i dont care about dying you know? but i lost someone and it makes me angry that THEY didnt care. do you get what i mean?

i am really really sorry for your loss. yeah. i know what you mean, at least to an extent. everyone’s grief and suffering is unique to them and the relationship they had with the one who passed, but i can relate so much to being trapped and mad and out of my mind. i think a lot of people can. it seems like so many of us are walking around half disillusioned by this existence and half completely done with it because of the shit we’ve been through. every day i feel a form of anger (most of the time it is cold and numbing) when i think about how my sister died. i have gone round and round in my head about why she did the things she did. because even if it wasn’t fully preventable, it wasn’t cancer or a car crash or anything like that. when i found out what she had in her system. god. i can not explain to you what that moment was like. it fucking choked me. all i remember is i felt my heart beating somewhere in my head, and i was PISSED. i thought i was going to pass out. because it’s like you said - she didn’t care, and that was almost like proof. she went to sleep thinking nothing of anything. mindless. after weeks of lecturing her, after her constant presence in my life, all that time. after years of her fucking around w other drugs and finally finding stability only to slip for less than a month bc of some fucking man, only to lose her entire life to a mistake - it’s inexplicable. i can sit here and write to you about it but i still cant’t fathom it. how she didn’t give a fuck, or she couldn’t see the situation clearly enough to. and now i’m living this forever without her. now i have to take care of my mother alone. now i’ve lost my best friend. and she lost everything. she was a whole person, she would’ve had years left and she deserved to. and the only reason she didn’t is because she couldn’t fuckin accept how much she was worth, how much life was worth so she gambled w death. what i’m saying is i understand that in a way, maybe a selfish way, i don’t know - it almost feels mocking. because we’ll never know if they realize what they’ve done. after she died that’s all i could repeat out loud in the shower. i kept saying: you don’t know what you’ve done. idiot, stupid girl. shit like that. every time i tried to talk to her, it was a lecture. so yeah. it is very very normal to be pissed off and bitter dude. it is not easy or fair to be left behind. it’s all a normal part of grief. losing it entirely is the whole thing because honestly what else can you do.

i could be wrong but. unfortunately i think all of these emotions, in the context of you, stem from the fact that it is easier to care for others than it is to care about yourself. you’re not bothered about yourself dying because you don’t have the same love for yourself that you had for the one who passed. you don’t see yourself as important in that way. i don’t know what happened to make you feel like that. maybe whatever it was lead you to use drugs n alcohol to escape in the first place. maybe you think you not mattering is some sort of universal truth, but it’s not. it’s a belief you constructed either out of pain or as a trauma response that you’ve clung onto so much that you’ve convinced yourself it’s reality. it’s clear you’re going through an insurmountably difficult time, and i know words on a screen aren’t going to change that. i wont pretend to get it first hand. i just want you to know that the same way you wish your friend had realized the worth in their life before it was too late, that same anger born from frustration and sadness - that’s how a lot of people likely feel about you. and i know you don’t care about hurting them w your death because you don’t care about anything. your friend didn’t care, why should you, right? but that’s how the cycle perpetuates. and you’re the one who has to live with this all now, stuck here or not. try to periodically and consciously recognize how fucked up and permanent grief is. you don’t want to be the one to cause it. not really. not when you can see it for what it is and you have the option to prevent it. you are here no matter how much you wish not to be. you do deserve to find substantial peace, stability and good health while you still can. that’s non negotiable. even if it takes a fucking life time getting there.

i completely understand that it is all far easier said than done. that you have to be the one who is willing to reach out for help and to really stick w a plan but. i guess i just hope you know that the option will always be waiting for you when you are willing to seek it out. whether it’s through a hotline, rehab, your doctor, your friends and family, 2 hours without using or drinking. any step in the right direction is commendable. you are absolutely more resilient than you realize. more in general than you realize. you’ve had to deal with so much, just the most unimaginable things, and you’re still here. i know that’s because you feel you have no real choice in the matter, back to being trapped here. but nonetheless you’re making it. you can learn to treat yourself w the same regard that you treated your friend. you can learn to care about what happens to you. you can slowly make a home out of what you currently see as a jail. through talking, through implementing healthier coping mechanisms into your daily life, through building a support system, through confronting and processing how much it hurts, through finding the clarity that comes with progress. all the things your brain wants you to write off. addiction and mental illness are genuine health concerns that require long lasting therapy and treatment just like any other ailment. and maybe the point is to learn to live with them, rather than to cure them entirely. but they are not a death sentence (and that is a good thing), and they are not the entirety of you. you are just currently very overwhelmed by them, understandably so. excuse me if this is all sounds like naïve bullshit, but maybe some day you will be able to take some of it on board if you can’t right now. anyway, it sounds cliche as fuck, but every day that you’re alive you’re keeping your friend’s influence on this world alive too. you were shaped by them, in more ways than you realize. and they’re here in more ways than we realize too. not necessarily ghosts, at least imo. but just around. and in your head, in the universe. i am rooting for you so much and i hope you can accept that even if it all feels like lies, it’s ok to treat yourself w kindness. any attempt is good enough. sending a lot of love your way. please take care of yourself as much as possible. please consider your needs and your well being while you still have the choice to. sorry to go all 90s drug prevention ad on you btw, but u know me. i’m incapable of shutting up and minding my business abt this sort of thing lol

#tw drugs #tw addiction #tw death #tw overdose #tw suicide #anon

20 notes · View notes

jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years

Text

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut (coming in ch3!) - college!au

wordcount ~ 2.3k

warnings ~ pretty much n/a, mentions of drinking and light smut

a/n ~ v excited for these lil dorks! i thought about combining this with the upcoming chapter but it felt right on its own and i wanted to go ahead and post an update for yall haha. ch 3 will most definitely have some serious smut to look forward to 👀 thank yall for reading, i love and appreciate any form of support or feedback so so much, so feel free to msg me or send me an ask abt whatever you want! 🥰 hope u enjoy this chapter!!!

previous: chapter 1 ~ next: chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 2 ~ cowboy bebop & chill

You couldn't stop thinking about Jungkook. Every time you brought the enamel of your favorite mug to your lips, teeth knocking the rim as you exhaled to cool off your tea, it called back the click of his earrings in your mouth. Whenever you reached behind your ear to tuck away the hair you'd impulsively cropped to your chin this year, it hit the same spot you'd sucked into a bruise on his neck and you shivered. Even your slight headache thanks to the shitty vodka from the pregame reminded you of the wine you'd sought out from him in the first place and never fucking got to drink.

You found yourself reading over your responses to each other's discussion posts from your film class, trying to find any more justification for this sudden crush than the drunken flirtation that mortified you as soon as you remembered it sober. He did seem to like your directness...but you could easily ascribe that to his similarly loosened-up state. Scanning through your reflections on The Shawshank Redemption and Casablanca, you painstakingly overanalyzed every smiley face and "I loved that part too!" Could he have been into you at all before this? Or had he just eyed you for another quick fuck at a party? Shit, what if he hated you for working him up and then leaving? If he wanted to, you knew he would have easily found someone else to finish the night with. But what if he still held it against you? The image of him bitterly turning aside to find another girl in the crowd, with your hickey still fresh on his jaw, turned your stomach more than you wanted to admit.

Shaking your head with a grounding exhale, you reminded yourself that whoever else he did or didn't hook up with was none of your business. Plus, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and probably didn't hate you in the first place. Wow, the bar really was so fucking low. Maybe that was part of the reason you were never that bold with boys. Every classmate you'd fallen for so far at college had remained innocently unaware of your feelings, likely because you never worked up the courage to clearly express them. You hadn't even been trying this time, though—this semester had been so busy you'd barely had time for your friends, much less crushes. And now your one blowoff class had become your biggest distraction.

Jungkook, a communications & media major, couldn't afford to lose as much focus in this class as you. Normally near front-and-center, he sat all the way in the corner of the last row, wary of imaginary stares burning through the hopefully-opaque-enough curtain of his hair. Even the risk of zoning out staring at the back of your head stressed him out less than the thought of you doing the same to him.

You walked into class through the back right entrance today so you'd pass Jungkook in the front row, though you could have gone straight to your usual left-side seat from the main door. Knowing you'd never summon the courage to talk to him, you still couldn't help wanting to see his face. You didn't know just what you were looking for—some kind of confirmation or dismissal that would let you just move on with your dry-ass life—but any reason to catch a glimpse of Jungkook was a good one. Today, though, he sat far closer to the entrance than you'd expected, and his proximity stopped you in your tracks a few feet behind him. Eyes dragging down the sculpted form under his soft black sweatsuit, your stare traced the veins in his forearms to reach the hands in his lap. Catching a half-page cartoon ass in your view of the manga he gazed at intently, a snort-laugh escaped you, the sound setting him on high alert. He snapped the book shut, spinning around with eyes wide and still-long hair an understandable mess for a Monday.

"I'm so—"

"I'm so sorry!"

You both shoved out the words at the same time.

A pause swelled between you, eye contact maintained as your mouths fluttered open and shut like fish. Even awkward and off-guard like this, he was just so damn pretty. It felt unreasonable for him to seem as flustered around you as you were around him. Finally, you spoke again, solely to force the conversation forward and put you both out of your misery.

"W-what do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one who, like—ugh, I was drunk, I'm so sorry, I never would have been so, yknow, if I was sober, like that's not me I promise, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or—"

"No-no-no-no-no!" Jungkook cut you off, dismissing your barely intelligible apology. Before you could cut him off in return and continue, he held up both hands between you, his eyebrows knit together in a pleading expression. "Are you kidding me? Seriously, I feel so bad, I was kind of drunk too, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable! Please, you have nothing to worry about, it was, uh...I was...good...if...you were." He grew shyer as he continued, drifting off as a hand reached back to rub his neck. A light laugh. "You did make me have to keep my hair long for another few days, though. It's gotten so annoying to take care of, I was planning on cutting it right after the costume."

This admission perked up all your earlier curiosities about him, and a cautious smile spread over your face as Jungkook unconsciously reminded you that he was, in fact, a total dork, rather than the fuckboy you'd irrationally feared him to be.

"Wait, hold up," you snorted again. Gently. "You're telling me you grew out your hair for three, maybe four, months...for a Cowboy Bebop costume?"

"Hey, it was free and way less lame than a wig," he defended himself. Crossing his arms over his chest, he fidgeted uncomfortably, face blushing into a grin as you continued to giggle at him.

"You are such a fucking weeb," you accused lightheartedly.

Jungkook furrowed his brows back together, an anxious hand grazing the spot where you'd marked him again. "Well, you recognized my Spike costume, at least," he pouted. "You're not all innocent."

"I watched one episode with my friend, and it was dubbed," you downplayed. "Isn't watching dubs instead of subs a crime for real anime fans?"

"Actually," his eyes lit up at your rhetorical question. "The dub of Cowboy Bebop is excellent. It's pretty universally considered better than watching the OG with subs. You're right though, that is the general rule."

"Oh man, who knew." Looking down, grinning, you tried to hide how endeared you were by his earnestness. "Well, it was pretty cool, not gonna lie. I guess I kind of get the appeal."

"Would you want to start watching the rest sometime? That's one I just never get tired of," he blurted, then blushed, closing his mouth and working his lips between his teeth as his eyes stayed wide and on you. Jungkook's heart accelerated in his chest, a fist opening and closing at his hip as he tried to decide whether he regretted taking a chance on the question.

You instantly diverted all your mental energy from hoping he couldn't sense your attraction to massively overthinking your response. This was a "Netflix and chill" kind of invite, right? If he wanted you, of course you wanted him, but you had to be sure before you did something else stupid and risked having to find another discussion board buddy.

"Um...yeah, sure," you accepted. "I have to ask, though, do you mean, like...Cowboy Bebop and chill?" You raised an eyebrow, trying to look bolder than you felt. "Or...Cowboy Bebop and just...Cowboy Bebop?"

"I..." Mirroring your playful grin, Jungkook shrugged, not wanting to look like a fuckboy if he answered with the first option but also wondering—were you actually interested in watching this anime with him? The possibility puzzled him, the same way it confused you how he could go bold and then back to his shy weeb-ass self within seconds. You shrugged too, with an anxious exhale of a laugh.

"That was...weird to just say like that, sorry. We can just see where it goes, whatever you want," you backtracked, full of faux-nonchalance. The Google Calendar schedule on your phone suddenly became very interesting. "We could do another day if that works for you, but I'm free after this class once I write my discussion post—I don't have any other homework or meetings today for once."

He nodded quickly, eyebrows up. Swallowing, Jungkook saw the opportunity to show a little more initiative and seized it. "We could do that together even, 'cause we usually jump off each other anyway. So you can come over right after class if you want." He glanced up and to the left for a quick mental inventory. "Oh shit, wait, but I seriously need to clean my apartment first, can we do more like dinner time tonight? You can just come over for ramen or takeout if you want, or eat first or whatever."

"Yeah, that's fine!" you agreed warmly. "Ramen and homework, two birds with one scone. I should probably, like...get your number? So you can send me your address when you're ready or something?" You didn't want to sound too desperate, especially since you knew he was used to it, but you found yourself weirdly excited to experience something he so obviously loved. If you got dicked down too, even better, but you were definitely willing to wait on that part, especially now that this first sober conversation had restored your inhibitions. He had this slightly shy sweetness about him that just made you want to make him happy somehow. You wanted to see more of his cheesy little smile. You wanted to hear the bright laugh that occasionally rang out at the most inappropriate times, during Citizen Kane or attendance. You wanted to watch his light pink lips fall open in bliss as you kissed down his sensitive neck to the trim of his worn-in hoodie...

"Yeah sure, here." The quick touch of his hand over yours snapped you out of your thoughts as he took your phone, ready to type in his number, and—

"Wait, did you say 'two birds with one scone'? Not 'one stone'?"

You blushed furiously. Somehow him calling you out on your quirks embarrassed you more than the indecent daydream he'd interrupted. "Okay, so I saw this tweet a while back where they said 'feed two birds with one scone' to replace 'kill two birds with one stone,' I think it was just some vegan troll being all like 'don't talk about killing birds!' but it stuck with me because I just really fucking love scones."

"You...really fucking love scones?" he repeated in slight sarcasm, eyes down on your phone. You grew even shyer, but continued.

"Yeah, I bake a lot and they're my favorite thing to make. The flavor possibilities are endless and they last for days so I just keep them on hand for breakfast and snacks and to give out to friends. And they go with tea, which is my other favorite thing." Ooh, was he a tea person? Should you bring some tonight? Something earthy, to go with your ramen. Your go-to green sencha, or maybe chrysanthemum? Chamomile?

Jungkook held your phone back out in front of you, but waited silently for you to notice, enjoying the view of wheels turning in your head as you pondered tea pairings. This was the you he was used to, daydreaming in class and going on tangents as dorky as his in discussions. Even from a distance, he'd noticed you consistently gave off a vibe somewhere between absentminded professor and grandma, and this confirmation made you even cuter to him. But the hair still falling over his ears wouldn't let him forget his new physical proof of another side to you.

You finally collected your phone with a mumbly "Oh right, yeah, cool, thanks," that you prayed sounded more chill to him than it did to you.

"I just texted myself, so I have your number too now, and I'll just send you my address when I'm ready, and, uh...yeah!" he rambled a bit in response.

You nodded, confirming. "I'll see you tonight!"

"Yeah, see you tonight."

Jungkook watched you walk to your desk, silently admiring your ass and allowing himself only a moment to savor the memory of half of it filling his hand. A strange nervousness tingled through him. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about you all weekend either, and now he had a chance to get closer to you than ever before. He hoped, more than he could remember hoping for anything else, that this would go well, one way or another. He had no idea what you wanted with him, but you had him questioning everything he'd thought he wanted. Easing open his laptop, he pulled up your last discussion board response to him, signed off with a smiley face but backwards.

I like the way you think. (:

He turned his head to read it right-side-up, letting his face scrunch into a smile you wouldn't see.

Meanwhile, though the film thrilled you, you struggled to stay facing forward for the duration of class. You suspected the plot of Rear Window was simply unsettling you, but you swore you could feel Jungkook's eyes on your back. No, he was probably actually watching the movie as usual, or reading his manga if not. You were definitely just being paranoid. Definitely. Probably. Right?

next chapter

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagine #bts imagine #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #my writing #anti-hero #anti hero

540 notes · View notes

kimnjss · 3 years

Note

In all honesty I think y/n should be with Jimin but before that she should get her shit together. She needs to put herself before anyone else. Take a few weeks or months to fix her career and put some music out, get her feeling sorted out for both guys but also prioritise her mental health coz it’s obvious taking a toll on her.

I get that both of them have apologised and they’ve cleared the air of doubt but there’s still lingering troubles she’s having with both guys.

With Jin, she should actually sit down and talk to him about the way he’s been behaving and to sort out the confusion about what’s really about their relationship and what’s not. Enough of this “I like you”-ish, say what u have to say properly and get it out. I know it’s not easy but it has to be done.

With Jimin, she needs to set some boundaries and makes sure he’s accountable for his actions. She shouldn’t just get into a relationship with him just coz he said sorry. He needs to prove to her that he wants to be in a committed relationship with her and he likes/loves her but you can’t erase all the things he’s done in the past.

Moral of the story is I’m done with their shit😌 but if I had to pick, I would pick Jimin just coz he knows her and they’re both reckless 🤧

Anyway, great story so far and can’t wait for more bestie 💞

she would absolutely benefit from taking some time to herself nd figuring out if a music career is even smth that she wants . we know that she doesn't like modeling nd being the center of attention is draining to her . she likes to make music ., but can't seem to focus nd the things she wants to do aren't really possible w the way her career has been laid out for her . she needs to take the time to truly decide what it is she wants nd how she wants everything to end up before she's jumping right into a relationship .

if things were to work out w her nd jin ., they'd need to figure out exactly where it is that their relationship starts nd where the things for the media ends . doing things together that have nothing to do w being seen or getting their picture taken is a great way to start - but even still ., she's still going to have to go through the steps of getting over jimin nd that doesn't seem all that fair to jin to have to wait through that while being w someone .

while the feelings between them are real ., they're not all that strong . they hardly know each other still - so it's hard to take freely bc they don't know how the other might react . as opposed to jimin nd yn ., they know each other so they're able to say whatever without worrying much abt the reaction they might get bc they have a pretty good idea of what it could be .

that doesn't change that jimin has hurt her a lot in the past ., no matter how much he claims to know her nd how right they are for each other - there's still a lot of work to be done n their relationship in order for things to work out . jimin needs to be able to be honest w himself nd w yn ., not just when it looks like things might all apart . he spent most of their time hooking up lying to himself abt how he feels abt her nd now they're in this mess . if he said smth sooner ., they would've been able to be together properly nd taken seriously enough that it wouldn't be seen as a scandal -

#asks; ➿#asks; kez 🍯

2 notes · View notes

seijch · 3 years

Text

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

12 notes · View notes

lanshappycorner · 4 years

Text

This is kinda hilarious in its own right but I remember seeing a post once where someone made an analogy about seeing fandom drama they're not aware of and stuff is like them playing in a small sandbox with a couple of their friends and when they look up, students are throwing shit at each other and the building is on fire and ever since then I have not stopped thinking abt this analogy

It is such a Twst-esque experience for me, because every now and then, I'd go to someone's blog to check their tags on their reblog for my post or sumn, and I'd be a little bored and scroll thru their blog in a totally non creepy way and then occasionally I'd see posts like

Why Twst is the worst fandom:

We are all stepping on smaller creators:

Callout post for XXXX:

This anon hate and bullying in this fandom has gone on for too long:

And I'd just be like *pikachu meme face* idk where the fuck you guys have been but this fandom has genuinely been one of the most supportive fandoms I've been in, although I mainly lurk on twitter I still post daily here, and theres been a few bad apples but none that I have not immediately blocked so clearly there is sumn up with our experiences here

I think the key is to simply curate your own experience...like...idk abt you but the moment I find an environment toxic or tiring in any way I get the fuck out, I'm sorry to all my friends in that fandom or space or whatever but if you're my friend in name and yet I still feel uncomfortable when ur there ur probably part of the problem goodbye haha!!

You have to set limits for urself, like if someone has hurt me or made me uncomfortable once, I don't bother talking much to them again if I can help it. People on the internet are all doing their own thing, and sometimes them just being themselves is not something you will vibe with and that is ok. That is not their fault or your fault, but you can choose to not engage with them.

PSA you dont have to be mean for someone to block you or dislike you, half my block list are literally ppl who whose opinions or habits I dont agree with. Artist tags Riddle on an Azul post? Block. Writer puts too much text and doesnt use Read More? Block. Someone makes a slightly creepy comment and I know that we will never cross paths if I dont say anything to them first? Block anyways. Even after I've moved onto another fandom and forgotten why I've blocked them, I keep them blocked.

There's many things to be stressed abt and fandom drama is just not one of them. I feel like everyone has the need to reply to something that bothers them and its tempting to get your shit out there but also it's kinda ur fault when things go south tbh, because they never asked for ur opinion (even IF their post is something you consider morally wrong. If they're a disgusting person to you, all the more reason you should block. By engaging them and making callout posts for them to help others, what kinda savior complex do you even have...). Whenever I see posts I get angry about, I never respond to it. I seethe on my private accs or rant on it in a separate post, and I DON'T tag it so it never reaches the fandom. It is what it is, a passing moment of anger about a 2D character.

At first I started this as a tiny musing but then it got long...oops. Anyways my point isnt to attack any of you guys for doing any of the above, I'm just saying that you seem like you're going through a tough time, it's not mentally good for you, and you should curate your own experience instead of delve yourself deeper into the drama. You're never responsible for someone else's happiness (OR their "cancellation" lmao) so please do yourself a favor and just stay away from it. I promise the twst fandom can be a lovely experience if you just Did Not Bother

#i feel like a large part of why twst fandom here is so bad is bc you have a lot of ocs and you want content for them and sometimes u dont-#-want to make it so you go to ppl who are willing to and that just leads to a bigger problem bc the ppl who are willing to are involved w-#-drama shit #its not just the oc group but thats just my observation #idk man i dont get as much interaction with my ocs but thats a small price to pay when im not having to worry abt strangers on the internet #-cancelling me #if i wanted oc content id just make that shit myself or talk with my friends in our small circle abt ocs #some of u have never practiced curating ur own experience or minding ur own business and it shows #oh also idk why you guys stress follower count so much...i mean i get that you want to celebrate it and i can respect that but #labelling accs with big accs and small accs on TUMBLR is so stupid #mf i can make a raffle for 15k followers rn and youd never know if i was bullshitting u

6 notes · View notes