With all due respect I totally get why ppl love to rant/love/overanalyze/etc to the south park characters but after a while we just need a reminder to not take the show so seriously. if you really dont like it, then you dont gotta watch it. plain and simple.

(this is not a diss nor any shade whatsoever to you btw :O)

i understand why u would have that concern. for me personally, i like doing these rants mostly for the philosophical or psychological lesson behind it. i talk abt these south park characters not only bc i love south park and analyzing characters, but i want people to use this shit as a cautionary tale for their own lives. i’m sure we’ve all met someone like cartman or kyle or stan irl (and i’ve met a TON of kyles, people who are fake stuck up activists especially being from california LOL) what i mostly want people to get out of this is a lesson to watch out for toxic bitches like that in their lives lol. the last thing i want people to get out of my rants is an excuse to just watch and obsess over a damn cartoon all day long and never go out and touch grass LOL. and i hate it when people assume i’m only obsessed with south park and nothing else and just make me out to be the south park ranting page (even tho i am a south park ranting page lol) and then just use my rants as an excuse to make posts shitting on kyle and harassing kyle stans like no that’s not the point here lol. like this aint abt how much kyle sucks this is abt how much PEOPLE LIKE KYLE suck. not that u should go harassing people like kyle irl either, but it is good to keep your guard up and watch out for people like that lol. so yeah, i’m not trying to take south park too seriously what i do take seriously though is real people who cause harm to others and sometimes it takes using a silly cartoon as an example to get that message across.

i feel like the real reason people are rlly hard on modern family guy is bc they know it used to be one of the best shows on tv so they’re just holding it up to this rlly high standard lol not bc it’s become this horrible unwatchable show (even tho some episodes these days certainly are that). bc if family guy was rlly that bad there wouldn’t be 483892923 people still watching it and analyzing it and that’s the truth LOL

the episode that ruined changed kyle's character

i swear we gotta talk abt the episode “toilet paper” bc i feel like s7 was the season that rlly changed kyle’s character, and it’s ESPECIALLY evident in this episode. prior to season 7 (mainly seasons 1-3) kyle was a toxic piece of shit with no guilt or remorse whatseoever and was even worse than cartman LOL. like there was soooo much terrible shit kyle did in the early seasons like threatening to break cartman’s head open in “cow days” and forcing him to ride a bull AFTER HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL over some terrance and phillip dolls and then in “fat camp” him and stan torment and exploit kenny by making him do all this gross shit to make money off of him and i could go on and on. but then out of nowhere in s7 they changed kyle to the sanctimonious up his ass person he is today who only cares abt taking the moral high ground and stopping cartman above all else. it’s like bruh how did kyle go from being a sociopathic maniac who has no problem harming others to getting upset over literally just TPing someone’s house? LOL i swear in the episode kyle is deadass LOSING SLEEP and can’t live with himself over something so trivial and stupid. ok yeah it’s wrong to TP someone’s house but he acts like this is the worst possible thing anyone could do to someone, when it’s just harmless prank a lot of kids pull (at least back in the day when kids used to actually know how to have fun, now all of them are on their phones). like oh nooooo this family has toilet paper all over their house and has to get it all off it’s TRAGIC. it’s like kyle has done way more atrocious shit that actually harmed people so i don’t get why that’s the one thing that breaks him and makes him go through a moral dilemma LOL. AND ALSO there was this moment in “the ring” when i had re-watched it not too long ago of kyle TPing a house with stan and cartman and he’s all happy and doing it with 0 hesitation. so yeah that was inconsistent AF and just makes the “toilet paper” episode look dumb.

& me after watching all 31 lyric videos from TTPD

me after watching the entire south park snow day gameplay to find the kyman moments for ya’ll

me after watching the entire south park snow day gameplay to find the kyman moments for ya’ll

“mcstroke” being an iconic masterpiece for 2 and a half minutes straight

me when i explain style better than style shippers do

the truth about what cartman said about kyle in “cartman finds love”

ok i’ve already talked abt this a lot in other rants but this scene here deserves an entire rant of its own LOL. ok so like i loveee how cartman points out how kyle acts like they’re not a couple at school bc he’s embarrassed but then he gets home and he’s the best boyfriend ever. bc all this shit is true AF and spot on abt how kyle acts with cartman. like no, they aren’t actually a couple (or are they?) and we all know cartman was lying and making that shit up to get tolkien and nichole together, but he still is right abt the fact that kyle is wayyyy nicer to him when they’re alone or in private LOL (and that cartman is the one who’s more out of the closet). like everyone knows this is about kyle, he’s a two-faced bitch who knows how to get along with cartman all the time but then pulls a 180 and will hate on cartman around certain people to seem cool and keep up appearances, so that’s how cartman was able to make that lie seem so believable. and this is DEF how kyle would be if they rlly were a couple bc of how much we already see this stuff in the show. kyle has done sooo much gay shit with cartman when they’re in private already, i mean they’ve hugged each other, had heart to heart moments together, and got in a damn hot tub of KFC gravy naked LOL.

it makes me wonder if some of the rumors he was spreading abt kyle were true (and that’s the real reason he got so mad) and that they actually have had couple moments and done even gayer shit together that we just haven’t seen on screen. like later in the episode when cartman is like “when we kiss it’s magic” and kyle gets all pissed off it makes me wonder if they actually have kissed at some point and kyle is trying to keep that top secret lol.

me after i shop at whole foods

LEAVE CARTMAN ALONE! (FROM THE VAULT [2020])

the receipts:

Should Kyman be canonized or just kept the way things are with their weird relationship? XD

ok this is a rlly good question. i personally would love to see it canon bc i have absolutely no life and i ship two animated 4th graders together but i acknowledge the fact that the majority of south park fans don’t give a shit abt ships and only watch the show for the comedy LOL. so yeah i can see how them making kyman canon would piss off A LOT of people or ruin the show for them (and canonizing pretty much any ship between the four boys) so if it doesn’t happen it’s not the end of the world for me. however, i do feel like there are some things they could do to make kyman happen that would be satisfying for ALL the fans so it won’t seem like something that comes completely out of nowhere. first of all south park is a COMEDY and i’ve talked abt betore how kyman works 100x better than any other fanon ship bc it’s funny af and works with the tone of the show. so yeah they would rlly have to crank up the comedy on it to the max so it’s not something that’s taken too seriously. i mean i do feel they should give us serious moments of C&K here and there to show some character growth and development between the two characters and their bond, but yeah the primary focus of a sitcom is to be funny with only occasional serious/emotional moments here and there. BUT ALSO i feel like matt & trey would need to amp up the obviousness in the hints we’re getting. even tho the kyman shit seems rlly obvious to the testies bc we’ve overly dissected it, i feel like most people don’t notice this shit bc the hints are so damn subtle lol. even tho there are some people who have said that people they know irl who are just casual viewers notice the kyman shit but i feel like the majority of people don’t care and aren’t looking too much into it. bc yeah if matt & trey make it more clear that kyman is a thing and cartman and kyle like each other and continue giving us hints and foreshadowing, except this time they make it more noticeable among casual fans, then i feel like more people might root for it and it’ll feel earned when it does happen. i feel like it would need to be more like the gay hints abt stewie in family guy which are soooo obvious to literally everyone it’s just a known canon fact at this point that stewie is gay LOL (and there’s even compilations on youtube of it). however, the gay shit with cartman is def more debatable and more subtle so a lot of people don’t notice or care. so yeah i think if they’re rlly serious abt making kyman canon matt & trey need to stop pussying around and make it a little more clear and tackle it head on. the show def has done a good job developing their relationship throughout the years and the ship gets more and more intense each season, so yeah all they need to do is keep up the good work with that while sprinkling in a little more gayness and cranking up the obviousness and intensity of their romantic tension.

it takes rizz to manipulate

more proof cartman is capable of rizzing

no rant i’ll just let the clip speak for itself

more proof cartman is capable of rizzing

no rant i’ll just let the clip speak for itself

the main problem with kyle in the new episodes

ok this is what RLLY bothers me abt kyle in modern south park ESPECIALLY in seasons 24-26 and i think a lot of people are getting annoyed with this shit too. i hate how they’ve been showing repeatedly how cartman’s getting better and acting nicer in the new episodes so like why TF is kyle still being a dick to him and treating him like a monster???? i mean for YEARS kyle has been going out of his way to help cartman and change cartman and making it clear he wants cartman to be a better person and make better choices, so then when cartman finally does he’s just like 😴. like idc if u ship kyman or not it’s rlly out of character for kyle. they’re still canonically close friends so it feels like a missed opportunity for character development on kyle’s end for them not to show kyle reciprocating or appreciating cartman doing better. i guess it’s bc matt & trey are trying to show kyle has been the toxic one and the jealous snake friend all along, but still even tho kyle is an asshole they don’t have to make him THAT big of an asshole. i think a lot of people like seeing kyle’s caring codependent side come out bc that’s the good side of kyle as a person how big-hearted and empathetic he can be. and there def have been some modern episodes where they DO get this right like especially in “the streaming wars” when kyle helped cartman out with his mom’s ‘surgery’ (even tho kyle deadass only helps cartman or feels bad for him when cartman is lying just to fuck himself over which i had talked abt before how he always gets the timing wrong with cartman for those who are caught up on your wendytestabrat lore). i also feel like an episode that DEF got things right with kyle was “help my teenager hates me” from s25. i loved that moment where cartman was crying abt how everything sucks and he lives in a hot dog and kyle is just like “ru okay cartman?” like bitch we need more moments like THAT. even if kyman doesn’t happen, idc like i just wanna see more moments of kyle being a good friend to cartman back (bc they def have given us A LOT of moments of cartman being there for kyle) is that too much to ask? but yeah in the images i used above are from the specials “post covid” (part 1), “south parq vaccination special”, “not suitable for children” and “joining the panderverse” and in literally every single one of these specials kyle’s being a dick and jumping down cartman’s throat when he aint doing anything wrong lol. in post covid he’s all mad at cartman for being a rabbi, even tho we all know cartman wasn’t faking it and was genuinely happy. in “south parq vaccination special” he gets all pissy throughout the whole thing when all cartman is trying to do is save the broship, in “not suitable for children” he’s getting all mad at cartman for making his own cred affinity group which last i checked aint a crime (and we all know he was just mad bc cartman wasn’t letting him in the group), and in “joining the panderverse” he’s getting all mad and annoyed over cartman being replaced by a black woman and he acts like cartman is making it up even tho cartman was telling the truth and there was this real parallel universe shit happening. like this shit needs to stop it’s getting soooo old and all it’s doing is making kyle unlikable af and annoying everyone who used to love kyle lol. like ok we get it matt & trey kyle can be just as toxic as cartman, now can we also see that he can be just as caring and nice as cartman too?

and btw this is why there have been less kyman rants:

you don’t want it @gothmothgoblin

kyle: guys i think i know why heidi won’t admit cartman is a horrible boyfriend

stan: kyle it’s none of our business

kyle: