#sure i watch superhero movies and wish i looked like them. but i am also aware i'm not fucking male
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Okay, obviously I have some body image issues. This is very clear to pretty much everyone who knows me. I have had them since I hit about 10 years old I think? That gives me 15 years of disliking the way I look, for one reason or another. I have tried a lot of things throughout that time to change my perception of myself. And currently, I feel like I am stuck in a weird place that I can't figure out how to escape.
I understand that there are studies now showing that dieting and working out don't actually work long term for most people. I know that getting into that mostly causes things like yo-yo dieting and circular weight gain/loss. I know that being fat is being shown to not actually be unhealthy in the ways it has often been shown as and perceived to be. I know that literally all the media everywhere is blasting me with idealized bodies that pretty much do not exist or only exist through extremely unsustainable/unhealthy means.
I have tried for so long to believe in and promote body neutrality or positivity for myself and other people. I constantly refuse to let myself think about what I see in the mirror or in pictures. I tell myself to get exercise for the physical and mental health benefits, not for my physical appearance. I try to view my body for what it can do and not how it looks. I tell myself to live the life I want to live now, rather than waiting to live it till I have the body I imagine living that life. Without exaggeration, I am fairly certain I think about these things every single day.
And none of it is working.
I actually feel I dislike my appearance now more than I did even a year ago. I feel like I am constantly noticing things about my body that I never did before or new changes to my body, and I am deeply uncomfortable with them. And I want to do something about it, and clearly simply changing my mentality isn't doing anything. I want to diet and exercise. But I also know it likely won't be a permanent change. I am concerned that I would give myself an eating disorder. And I'm also concerned that I would be feeding into diet/exercise culture. I am worried about hurting the people around me who are also fat. I am anxious about the fact that I am not actually that large so I don't want to talk about it with other people because I know it will make people who are larger than I am feel terrible. I don't want to make other people who are gaining weight feel bad for that. But, I hate the way I look.
This is not sustainable. At some point something will break and I think it might end up being my brain. I am worried about how that would end up. The things I do for my brain and my body shouldn't be about how it might affect other people, it should be for me. But I don't want to be bad for the things I do. I want and have wanted for so long to look like a powerbuilder/warrior/dwarf/strongman lifter/crossfit athlete/etc. I want to be big. I want to be visibly strong and powerful. And I am absolutely not. And I know I struggle with commitment and discipline and all of that, but I also know I struggle a lot with how this desire appears to other people.
Really, I think what this is all coming down to is other people's opinions. I dislike the way I look and am told that's bad. I want to change the way I look and I'm told that's bad. I do nothing and get told that's bad. I have to want these things for the right reason, in the right way, and have to talk about it right all the time. And I just can't. I don't like the way I look and I wish I looked like a brick shithouse and everyone else can fucking suck it.
#please if you know me irl don't read this and then tell me nice things about the way i look#i appreciate that you want to make me feel better but that's not what i'm looking for with this#i am mostly just trying to work out how i feel and what i want to do about it#and what my exact thoughts are about all of it#for example until writing that out i didn't even realize a big part of the circles i'm running in#are entirely about what other people think or how other people might perceive my actions#i am not telling other people to work out#i am not forcing people to go the gym with me#i actively don't want to make other people feel bad or do anything to disparage the choices they make#about their bodies#i do not want to starve myself#i don't want extreme 6 pack abs like people get from being dehydrated for movies#the things i want aren't unhealthy or unachievable (i don't think anyway)#i don't want them just because society thinks being fat is bad#it has a lot more with wanting to be strong and have muscles and not feel soft#than it does the number on the scale or any stretch marks or what size pants i wear#sure i watch superhero movies and wish i looked like them. but i am also aware i'm not fucking male#and my hip bones won't ever be that shape no matter how much i work out#so i would like to think that as a reasonably intelligent 25 year old i can figure out how i want to look#and not have it entirely be just because society told me to look like that#and that wanting these things doesn't make me some evil brainwashed asshole#i don't know that all of this is making sense anymore or actually making point i am trying to make. i'm tired#anyway. to wrap up. fuck other people. i don't have to listen to shit#and if i want to do push-ups and eat lots of protein and get hugeass biceps you can't stop me#and i'm not evil for not wanting my belly button to look like a circle and not a squished frown
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Young Justice spends all of their time violating the Geneva conventions or mocking their mentors bc they’re traumatized theater kids without any capacity for a verbal filter which is also why they’re not allowed to watch movies at the tower
YJ is watching some hero movie and a character with a gruff voice sternly says “we don’t kill…we’re better than that” so Tim gives the most dramatic sigh and goes “this is giving me back the migraine from our last lecture from the league” which leads to YJ doing their best to dramatically reenact disappointed justice league lectures
Cissie, offhandedly: Most superheroes having that dumbass code that’s some variation of “we don’t kill, we’re better than that…” make me fucking nauseous because who’s we? I’ll have you know my mother assures me that I’m a piece of shit everyday so no I’m not better than this.
Greta, in a mocking disappointed tone: Cissie! I’m very surprised at your behavior, we’ve taught you better than that! We’re here to protect people not to hurt them
Kon, in his best angry Cissie impression: Well, who’s gonna protect my sleep schedule? You woke me up at 3am to stop some idiot that wanted to steal kryptonite? Are you serious?They’re not going to jail they’re going to the nearest cemetery that I can promise you
Anita, in a dramatic hero pose: I’m not like you…you made me realize something, I have friends and people that love me so I’m not going to-
Bart, doing an excellent mimicry of Anita’s unimpressed face: He killed your family wdym you’re better than that, that’s dumb as hell you even look at anyone I know with the tiniest hint of malice you’re leaving in a bodybag
Kon, turning to Bart and making his voice echo the way Greta’s does when she’s annoyed: what is this nonsense I wouldn’t let anyone get away with doing that to you guys I promise they’d suffer immensely
Cassie, hovering in the air doing a terrible impression of disappointed superman: We can’t kill because then we’re no better than they are
Anita, glaring at Cassie with her best Kon impression: I’m okay with that…let’s not pretend you don’t expect this from me, am I supposed to care? They deserve to suffer, why should I be the only one that has to suffer?
Anita, pretending to storm off dramatically while Cassie tries to look disapproving:
Cissie, doing her angry Bart impression: You’re not gonna waste people I actually like then get to chill in jail and breakout in a couple days
Tim, in a dramatic ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ tone: I’m not sure how you did things in the future but you can’t do things like this, do you understand?
Cissie, snorting and crossing her arms in the agitated way Bart does: I understand that our first fight will be our last because we’re not doing this shit again I’m not superman
Greta, in a gruff Batman voice: People can change if you give them a chance
Cassie, in a sarcastic Tim impression: I’ll start a timer I’ll even give him five minutes why are you playing with me rn Batman
Bart, sighing disappointedly: You're so angry and I wish you’d find an appropriate outlet for all this aggression. You don’t know what taking a life will do to you, what it’ll take from you….
Tim, in an irritated Kon impression: why not? we can find out let’s do an experiment and find out I like science I’m game hbu??
Cassie, who does the second best Batman voice: Neither of you can even begin to understand-! How do you know you won’t end up ending low tier criminals like pickpocketers? We can’t play judge, jury, and executioner… what happens when you’re wrong? What’s going to stop you?
Greta, fiddling with a phone and shrugging before giving Cassie Tim’s patented ‘I can ruin your life and you’ve just given me a reason’ look while doing her impression of the way Tim stands when he’s pissed and rolling her eyes: Self control? Common sense? When have my hunches ever been wrong? Don’t play with my intelligence, it will not work out for you
Bart, doing his best to copy the way Cassie stands and messes with their hair when they’re pissed: I’m just saying, if you blow up a city block you lose air privileges I have debris in my shoes rn for what?
[JL was meeting with a bunch of reporters in the tower and later had to do a lot of damage control after the press released a statement about the JL failing to rehabilitate young villains]
#YJ is completely aware that Tim is unhinged and petty as hell but they think it’s funny bc they’re also unhinged and petty#cissie king jones#greta hayes#tim drake#kon el#kon el superboy#anita fite#dc empress#dc secret#bart allen#dc impulse#impulse#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#red robin#young just us#young justice
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Madame Web - spoiler-free
So, today me and my Son went to see Madame Web
and both of us knew more than half of the Internet hates thus. And being comics nerd I was baffled. " So this old blind woman who is paralyzed in comics is played by...young ablebodied seeing Dakota Johnson?"
But let's give it a chance.
It began slow and boring and the dialogue is awful and sticking there the main bad guy? In my youth I watched loads of italowesterns and Hong Kong kung fu movies that were dubbed better. It is not a little off, it is on another continent altogether.
And like the trailer showed he looks
I know It's like Craigslist Amazon (not-quite-spiderperson) or wish suit that will not get litigated because Sony has the rights. They are not going to sue themselves.
There are huge HUGE plotholes. And most effects got a call from early 2000s. You know the drunken ex call.
The money they saved was put in I guess rights to play Toxic by Britney Spears.
It really has these flaws.
And I loved it.
No sarcasm or irony. Really. I smiled. The comics nerd in me had joyous laughter. See I do not care if you like the sixties Adam West Batman or Monica Vitti Modesty Blaise. Those are travesties An insult to comics and their creators. I see nothing good in them. And I am wysiwyg, my personality does Not change between real life and internet. Somehow with all those immense faults the movie won me over.
I turned to my Son, who loved it too. Also as confused by this.
It will flop. They will talk about superhero oversaturation etc but I honestly want to see it again. I do not want to see Morbius ever again, that started better than expected but decided to piss everything and then some away. Yet even that shitstorm is lightyears ahead of aforementioned Batman & Modesty Blaise " films". This is by same writers as Morbius. Wild.
Most will hate it.
And some will say, sure you are aging toxic cishet man who just drooled over all the girls in this. Again you can think what you want, me don't mix movies and porn I don't give a shit what your sexuality is most movies but bait there, unnecessary nudity and cheesecake / abs for no reason except for the bait.
That said besides mainly wooden Dakota Johnson highlights were Sydney Sweeney.
And I very much enjoyed Adam Scott's performance. Chef's Kiss.
Really not for everyone. But I enjoyed it. And I will buy the Bluray
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The Bangtan Gal Chapter 83- I Need You On This
Chapter Summary: BTS rent out a movie theater to watch Captain America Civil War. Jennie's dream which she had been talking about for years finally comes true. Jen has the honor to film with Yoon Mirae for the first episode of Celebrity Womance. Jennie and Jungkook spend time with his family. Jennie supports AGUST D's mixtape
Words: 9,000+
Author's Note: Bon Voyage Season 1 is next after this chapter! Also, don't panic, things will be fine :)
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The following morning, Jen received a phone call from one of her sisters while she was gaming with Jungkook.
"Awesome! Thank you, we'll be there! I'll make sure of it! I have been waiting to see this movie!" Jennie happily got off the phone and turned to Jungkook excitedly as he chilled on the bed. "Oppa, let's watch Civil War, today! My sister's friend hooked us all up for a rented movie theater to watch the movie, today! We'll be alone with no one to bother us!"
Jungkook's ears perked up and he quickly turned to her, Jungshooked.
She finally said it...
Jennie realized what she had just said as her entire face flushed. It just slipped out, she meant to say his name but it just flowed naturally to call him that despite her not being a fan of saying the word often.
"Did you..." he trailed off as a huge smile came across his face. He stood up and walked over to her. "Did you say what I think you just said?"
Smiling softly, she nodded. "Yes, I did."
"Can you say it, again?"
"Oppa, let's watch civil war, today."
Jungkook immediately wrapped his arms around her and gently lifted her off her feet as she laughed. "Okay, Jagi. Let's watch Civil War, today!"
"I'll tell the others," she said after getting set down.
"Am I the first guy you said oppa to?"
She pondered for a moment. "As a matter of fact...yes, you are the first guy."
Jungkook smiled triumphantly, already planning to brag to his hyungs. "Good."
At the theatre, JenKook wore Marvel shirts for the special occasion and sat in the back while the rest of Bangtan sat further down, scattered around. Her sisters sat near the members.
"I hope y'all won't be doing anything dirty back there!" Vienna teased the couple.
"Hush and watch the movie!" Alani replied.
"Would y'all be quiet!?" Jen shouted as the previews finished.
As they watched Captain America Civil War, JenKook freaked out and spoke during the movie which amused the members.
"Look at this, look at this! Look at this perfection! Iron Man wishes he could do this!" Jen said as Captain America was shown fighting at the beginning of the movie.
During the scene where Tony gives the students a grant, Jungkook goes on to brag about Iron Man, "Captain America wishes he could give students a grant like Tony,"
"Oh shut up," she rolled her eyes.
"Be jealous~!" he teased.
The rest of the members laughed at the debate JenKook had rows behind them including her laughing at Tony getting beaten up and hit by cars.
"That wasn't funny!" Jungkook huffed.
"Yes, it was,"
The scene with Steve and Bucky talking about whether Bucky was worth it made Jennie tear up.
"You see the mess he made!? All of them are in cells! Captain America is better." Jen debated with him later on in the movie.
"They brought this on themselves,"
"How!?"
"Would you guys be quiet!?" Jin shouted.
"We knew this was going to happen," Namjoon laughed.
During the plot twist of Bucky being the one to kill Tony's parents, Jennie and Jungkook were shooked.
"No..." she covered her mouth.
"I hate him, I hope he dies," Jungkook furiously stared at the scene.
"No! I don't want Bucky to die-"
"He killed Iron Man's parents!"
"He was brainwashed! It wasn't him!"
"I don't care!"
"Well, I care!"
The final fight scene between Bucky and Captain America going after Tony got them hyped as they both cheered on their favorite superheroes.
A scream left Jen's lips when Bucky's arm was destroyed by Tony.
"NO! WHY!?" she yelled.
"NO!" Jungkook yelled in horror when Cap hit his shield in Tony's heart.
Jen covered her mouth again and started tearing up at the defeated Iron Man. He really got hit in the arc reactor.
"Jungkook..." she murmured, not knowing what to say.
"Do you see the destruction your Captain America has done!? He ruined everything!" he angrily said.
"Hey! Don't blame him! He was protecting his friend!" she snapped at him.
"People are hurt! He almost killed Tony! That's unforgivable!"
"Tony tried to kill Bucky! He blew out his arm!"
"He deserved it!"
"No, the hell he didn't! He's a changed man!"
"A-are they actually angry with each other? Are they really fighting?" Jin asked with concern.
"Nah, they do this all the time when they watch Marvel movies," Taehyung answered, calmly.
"Yeah, they're just bonding, no need to worry," Jimin reassured with a chuckle.
Near the end, Jennie laughed at Stan Lee's cameo, calling Tony, Tony Stank.
"Ha! I told you it was true! Tony Stank for the win!" she laughed.
"At least Tony is richer than everyone," Jungkook quipped.
"Oh ho ho...no the hell he ain't! Black Panther is richer! Um, hello he is a whole prince. He has almost 100 trillion! Don't get me started on my brothers,"
"Blah, blah, blah,"
After the movie finished, Jennie sighed in contentment. "Gosh, I hope they have a Black Panther movie soon! Like that'll be so lit. I can only imagine how awesome it'll be. What I wouldn't give to be a part of a Marvel movie. That would be a dream. Even if it's just a song or something or a small role, I don't even care,"
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After the movie, Bangtan went shopping at the mall. When splitting up into groups at the mall, the members found their way back to each other after shopping at Forever 21. Everyone but Jennie had bought some things because all she was looking for was a certain brand of perfume that she could not find anywhere. That was until she finally spotted Victoria's Secret.
"Oh my gosh, finally! I gotta get something real quick!" she eagerly rushed in, surprising the guys with her enthusiasm. "Man, oh man, I hope they have it."
"Jennie...what are you planning on getting from here?" Jin's heart dropped as he walked into the store with fear, quickly following her.
"I think we all know exactly what she is going to buy from here." Hobi chuckled with Yoongi.
"Hey, hey, Jungkookie, do you think Jennie is going to buy something to wear for you?" Jimin teased, wrapping an arm around him as they walked deeper into the store.
'I-is she going to get some lingerie now? I-in front of the Hyungs? Is she ready for THAT??' Jungkook thought with wonder and astonishment as he began to blush.
Did she want to do THAT already?
His imagination was already beginning to wander...
Did she want him to go crazy?
Why couldn't she do this when they were alone? Not with the rest of the guys around them.
Jungkook's thoughts were interrupted by a large pat on the back by Namjoon. "I'm surprised she would be this bold. Don't you want to help her pick something out? We can wait out here."
Before Jungkook could answer, he peeped Jennie walking past all the underwear.
'Wait...why is she walking past the lingerie? Even the red underwear?? No...no, no, why?' Jungkook thought.
"Finally!" she happily announced and grabbed a few bottles of the perfume she wanted. "I have been trying to find these everywhere!"
Namjoon let out a laugh, looking stunned. "W-wow...perfume. Would you look at that? She came here for perfume."
Jin sighed out of relief. "I'm glad it was just that!"
"Yeah, of course. What did you think I was gonna get in here?" Jen stared at him like it was the most obvious thing she would get in the store.
Meanwhile, disappointment was clearly shown on Jungkook's face while the rest of the members felt salty that what she bought wasn't what they were expecting.
"Darn...I really thought she was going to get a set for Jungkook." Hobi whined.
"Bet the kid is upset, right about now," Yoongi added.
"Aw...tough luck, Jungkookie." Jimin giggled with Taehyung.
Back at the hotel, Jungkook decided to speak up about it and ask her about the stunt she pulled at Victoria's Secret.
"S-so you weren't planning on getting anything else?" he asked.
"Nope, just the perfume. Why?" she watched him as he averted his eyes.
She then realized what he had meant and felt her face heat up. "O-oh." she nervously laughed. "Well...the stuff in that store is not even what I would want to wear for you when I'm ready for that."
That sparked his interest as his ears perked up. "Well, what do you want to wear?"
"I guess you'll have to wait and find out one day." she teased, grabbing the controller to finish her game.
"When can I find out?" he eagerly asked.
"Shh."
"Can I at least know the color?"
"Shh."
"Can it be red?"
"Shh!"
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The next morning, all packed and ready to leave America, Jennie met with the rest of the members on the first floor.
"Jen," Diana, her manager called out.
"Yeah?" she turned to face her.
"You won't be going back to Korea just yet,"
That caused Jennie to furrow her brows. What did she mean? She was planning to go back with the members so what could possibly be left on her schedule? It made her nervous but decided to stay positive about it.
"Okaaaay. What else is on my schedule?"
"Last minute meeting Bang PD and I scheduled with some important people that want to meet you. Come on. They're waiting for us,"
Important people? Meeting? That she and Bang PD scheduled? What was going on?
After telling the members she'd be staying a while longer in America and saying her goodbyes, she went to follow Diana in a car that took them to the location of the meeting.
"You keep looking at me. What is going on?" Jen asked after she caught Diana staring at her longer than usual.
"It's nothing. Just relax. The meeting shouldn't take that long, anyway." she replied, trying to change the subject.
"Who am I meeting anyway?"
"You'll see when we get there,"
After arriving at the location, Diana escorted her to a meeting room to see two caucasian people. A man and woman in suits with welcoming smiles.
"Ah, Jennifer Walker. It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person," the man spoke first shaking her hand.
"Hi, nice to meet you as well," she politely replied.
The two introduced themselves and informed her that they were looking for potential musical artists to endorse Macy's. The idea did interest Jen as she thought it would be a good opportunity since she already endorsed Puma with BTS.
"Any brands you enjoy wearing?" she was asked.
"Nike!" she beamed. "That's my all-time favorite brand,"
"Nike? Why that brand?"
"Oh, a lot of things. I have a whole collection of Nike sneakers. I just love everything about it. Their style, their clothes. It makes me feel empowered as weird as it sounds. Let me show you the collection of sneakers I have," she took out her phone, showing them the large collection of shoes.
Diana refrained from laughing while the two others looked impressed and pleased to see her so passionate about a brand like this. The exact passion they want to endorse a brand.
Jennie rambled on and on about Nike as she showed tons of photos and stories about wearing the brand.
"...and these are the sneakers I wore on the night I debuted with BTS," she rambled on.
"If you wanted to create something, what would you want?" she was also asked.
"I'd love to create a whole line of Nike shoes for dance and Nike dance clothes. Sneakers, ballet shoes, everything Nike dance shoe related. Comfortable and cute clothes to dance in for Nike. I strongly believe dancing is a sport and I feel like dancing should have some representation. It would be a dream to create something like that for Nike one day."
"Hm...I see," the lady nodded and looked over at her partner.
The man took out a folder and placed it on the table with a smile, "Well, Nike would love to see this vision come true,"
It took a few seconds for his words to register in her brain as Jen stared at them in astonishment. Her heart dropped and her mouth went dry as words couldn't form in her head.
Did he just say Nike wanted to see her vision come true?
Diana couldn't help but laugh and had to be the one to open the folder to reveal the Nike Endorsement contract waiting to be signed.
"We've had our eye on you for quite a while Miss Walker. Your passion for our brand is infectious. We would love to have you on board and put your vision into action."
"I had to talk to them to try to make something up. I didn't want them to go straight in and say they were from Nike," Diana giggled and turned to Jennie. "Wow, the look on your face. Are you going to say anything? I'm sorry, she's still trying to process all of this,"
"We understand. We've watched all those videos of her talking about Nike. We heard her passion loud and clear," the woman replied with a giggle.
Nothing came out of Jennie but tears as her chest felt heavy. Looking down at her lap, her sight was blurred with tears.
Was this another dream about Nike? It wasn't like the others.
"Y-you want me? To endorse Nike? You really want me?" she managed to speak, looking back up at them after wiping her tears with her sleeved arm.
"We've wanted you for quite a while now. We're pleased we were able to get to you due to your busy schedule. When we heard about Adidas wanting you, we were a bit worried that you would join them." they told her.
Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Jen turned to Diana.
"I already looked over the contract. Bang PD discussed it with me as well. This is what you always wanted, although Puma will have to go away,"
Jen understood about Puma and was prepared for it as she tried to process that a contract from Nike was waiting for her.
"Will you do it?" Jen was asked.
Looking up at the Nike representatives, she smiled happily with tearful eyes, opening up a pen.
"Yes! Heck yeah, I will!" she answered proudly, signing her signature.
Diana could feel herself getting emotional as she watched Jennie sign the contract. She was so proud of her having this moment.
"Great! We will keep in touch, Ms. Walker. We are looking forward to working on this vision of yours,"
"Thank you so much! Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me! Thank you for giving me a chance! Thank you for noticing me! Thank you for everything!" Jennie rambled on about her gratitude for this blessing.
After they left, Jen hugged Diana as more tears escaped.
"Thank you so much!"
"I got you. Always remember that. You deserve it," Diana beamed.
Pulling away, she took out her phone, still shaking from what just happened, "I-I gotta call my parents," she said, calling her mom up.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" her mom asked on the line.
"Are you all right?" her dad asked.
"I'm crying because I'm happy," Jen sniffed.
"What happened?"
"I got it..."
"Got what?" her dad asked.
"An endorsement deal with Nike."
"Aw, baby I'm so proud of you! I told you, prayer is a powerful thing!"
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After returning to Seoul from her meeting with Nike, Jennie still felt her body shaking from the news that Nike wanted HER. She was about to endorse the company that she dreamed of endorsing for many years. She couldn't wait to tell the guys.
"I'm finally back!" she announced, shutting the front door.
When she turned around, the lights went on and she was welcomed with loud cheers. She looked around in wonder, genuinely surprised as she saw a large banner that said 'Congrats on the Nike Endorsement' with various balloons and confetti around the room.
There were the boys who were patiently waiting for her arrival as they had bright smiles on their faces.
"No, you didn't," she covered her mouth as a smile grew on her face.
"Congrats Ennie!" V ran up to her, scooping her up in a hug.
"She's finally endorsing Nike!" J-Hope yelled proudly, jumping up and down
"A dream come true~! Jennie and Nike 2K16!" Jungkook shouted happily.
"I knew you were going to get it one of these days! I'm glad you remained patient," Namjoon praised.
"Nike X Jennie! Finally~!" Jimin yelled
"Wow, I feel like a proud father," Jin rambled, "I can't wait to ask my friends, is your daughter cool enough to get an endorsement from Nike? No? Well, my precious Jennie scored one and is going to break barriers with it!"
"We're proud of you smartie," Yoongi praised. "You deserve this. We're glad you went with your heart,"
"I wish we could have seen the look on her face when she found out," Hobi laughed with Namjoon and Jimin at the thought.
After being set down, she walked further into the room to see pizza and plates waiting at the table, along with a large cake that said congrats on the Nike endorsement.
It took her a moment to realize that they all knew that she was going to get it.
"Wait...you guys knew?!" she asked, taken aback. "That I was going to get it!? And you didn't drop any hints!?"
"Of course not! That eliminates the element of surprise," Jungkook giggled.
"Guys..." she said as she looked at them with tears falling down her cheeks.
"Aw, she's crying! I told you she was going to cry!" J-Hope laughed and pulled her in for a hug.
The rest of the guys joined in, saying that it was all right. After pulling herself together, she smiled and thanked them for supporting her.
"Wow, Nike really has you now. How did the meeting go?" Jimin asked.
"I was nervous, I didn't know what I was getting myself into," she said and explained to them what happened.
In response, they teased her for her reaction.
"Finally that company opened their eyes to see a gem they have for an endorsement. They're going to be happy they chose you," Yoongi said confidently.
"If you need us to model for your brand or anything, let us know," V added.
"Free promo," Namjoon grinned
"Thanks, guys. Really. This is just so surreal. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Frickin' Nike...and Jennie of BTS. Bangtan is moving forward. V and his drama, our comeback we're working on. K-Con headliners, Yoongi's mixtape. I feel like as we progress, we're only going to be chasing more bags and success. Let's keep working hard," she high fived all of them as they cheered.
"That's the energy to have! How soon can you start designing what you want to do?" Jin asked as they all sat at the table.
"For now, they'll be in touch with me," she answered.
"Wait until ARMY finds out. They'll be ecstatic," V said.
"Are you going to tell them soon or wait a bit?" Jungkook asked.
"I want to wait a bit. Let it be a huge surprise when I announce it," she replied.
"Cool. Now dig in!" Jimin laughed and pushed her face into the cake with Jin.
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As a few weeks went by, Bangtan was back in America for LA's K-Con. The group went through a series of interviews to promote it. News about Suga's mixtape that he was working on had got out and he expressed his enthusiasm that Armies were excited about it.
"Jennifer has been the biggest supporter out of my journey working on the mixtape," Suga announced proudly as she looked at him in shock. "I would find her trying to peek in my studio to see if I'm working on it. I am happy to have a strong support system for my music. ARMY, I hope you like the finished product,"
She didn't expect him to acknowledge that and it made her feel good. The huge smile on her face did not go unnoticed by viewers and the members as Suga glanced over at her to give her a soft smile.
Fans commented on the YoonJen moment and expressed their excitement for his mixtape:
'Awww YoonJen!'
'Keep in mind Yoongi said, Jennifer. Not smartie. You know he serious af about her being supportive of him! I'm soft!'
'My heart! I can't wait for him to release it!'
After the interview, Jennie went out to roam around K-Con with Sejin and a bodyguard with her. She came across fans performing dance covers of BTS songs. It appeared to be a local dance group and she watched as they performed fire. What took her by surprise was the black male dancer performing her part.
'Wow!' she thought, mesmerized as he nailed her mannerisms. It was like she was looking at herself perform.
"Yasssss!" she shouted, which caught the attention of fans who began to scream. "Y'all killing it!"
A large portion of fans tried to get her attention for photos and autographs but she kindly told them that she wanted to watch the rest of the performance before any interaction. They respected it and watched as she happily danced to the beat of fire, enjoying the performance.
After the group finished, Jennie approached them and clapped.
"That was amazing! You guys killed it!"
"Oh my gosh, thank you! We can't believe you came out here!" one of the dancers said.
"I'm still a K-Pop fan at heart. I just wanted to drop in and say hey. How long have you been in a group? The synchronization was extremely good,"
"That means the world to us coming from you. We wanted to do it justice. We've been performing since 2014!"
"Wow, keep dancing, please! Don't ever stop. All of you are gifted,"
As more fans gathered around, she tried to take as many selfies as she could.
"Jennie! What do you think of NCT?" a fan asked.
"I tweeted about them! They are lit! Sooo many members. Firetruck is a bop," she beamed.
"Do you have a bias?"
"Not yet! Hard to choose,"
"I love you and Alex Reid. Have you met Alex yet?"
This had been a common question. Unfortunately, she still hasn't met the girl but eagerly wants to. Someone to relate to in this industry.
"Sadly no. But I really want to! I hope we can meet up one of these days,"
After going backstage, Jen felt like she could breathe easier since Bangtan wasn't until the end of the show. She spent time with Ailee and watched backstage as she performed. She had some mic trouble but she nailed the performance without music as the queen that she was. Her A cappella was on point and it blew her away.
"Jen!"
Her name was called out and she turned around to see Zico waving and walking over to her with Dean.
"Zico! Long time no see! How are you?" she pulled him in for a hug.
"Doing good. How you been?"
"Everything has just been blessings upon blessings. I got my Nike endorsement!"
"No way, you finally got it?! About time! They have a gem on their hands! I can't wait to see what you create with them!"
"Aw thank you!" she turned to Dean. "Hi! I'm Jennie! It's so nice to finally meet you, Dean! Your music is so dope. I love your sound,"
Dean was pleased to hear how much she praised his music and thanked her.
"Your vocals are like so soothing and I admire your work. I hope you get a ton of awards for your EP," she added.
"Thank you, Jennie. How does it feel headlining K-Con with BTS?" Dean asked with a smile.
"Surreal. I am so grateful,"
After talking with them, she stayed in BTS' dressing room.
"Hello! Is Jennie Unnie here?" a female voice asked.
Jennie turned around, pausing her conversation with Jimin to see the IOI members walking in.
"Ah! There she is!" the voice belonged to Somi.
All the members of IOI had walked in with bright smiles, dressed in their outfits to perform.
"Oh my gosh, hi!" Jennie rushed up to them.
She hadn't seen them in a while but watched closely at the survival show's results and their journey as a group.
Sohye with a cute smile presented the large basket to her. "This is on behalf of us,"
"F-for me? Oh my gosh, thank you," she graciously accepted it and placed it on the table.
"A thank you for supporting us," Pinky added.
When Jennie opened it, she squealed in glee when she saw it was filled with packs of smarties. Her happy sound effect made the girls giggle, proud that she liked the gift. Meanwhile, Bangtan watched with amusement.
'You're becoming a great role model, Jennie,' Namjoon thought as he watched IOI look up at her in admiration.
"My smarties! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she went on to hug all of them. "How does it feel to be a group? Hard work paid off, huh? I see bright futures for all of you,"
"Yeah, we love it. It's so exciting to be here, too," Chungha answered.
"I'm glad. Make the most of everything. And if you need anything, I'm here for you,"
-------
Back in Korea, with the short amount of free time that they had, Jungkook wanted Jennie to join him to eat with his family. He thought it was the perfect time to tell them that they were dating, too. There was no doubt in his mind that they were going to be thrilled.
Once they made it to his parents' house, Jungkook turned to her with a smile.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
"Butterflies are increasing as we get closer to the door," she admitted and took a deep breath.
"You'll be fine. I have a strong feeling they're going to be pretty excited to hear the good news," he grinned at her, making her mellow out.
Suddenly the door opened to reveal his mom smiling brightly at them.
"Jungkook! You're here!" she pulled him in for a hug. "Look at you. Are you eating well?" she pulled away.
"Always, Mom,"
"Good," she turned to Jennie as her smile got wider. "Jennie! I'm so happy you can join us!"
"Hi, Mrs. Jeon. Thank you for having me. This is for you and your husband," she presented her with a gift basket she created for them.
"Oh, thank you very much. Come on. Both of you. Your father and brother are in the backyard, Jungkook,"
"Okay," he responded and let Jennie walk in first. He followed her inside and closed the door.
'You okay while I go to the backyard?' he gave her a look, initiating a brief nonverbal conversation.
'Yes, go on ahead.' she nodded and returned the smile that he gave her.
As she watched him leave, Jennie turned her attention to his mom placing the basket on a table.
"I've been so excited to see you again!" she heard his mom say.
She has?
"Really? That means a lot, thank you!"
"Jungkook can never stop talking about you. It made me miss you more than I already have,"
"He talks about me a lot to you?" she chuckled softly, feeling her heart soar as she heard about her missing her.
"Oh, all the time. It was the cutest thing. Since you came along, I have seen a positive difference in his character. I'm not sure what is going on but whatever it is, I hope it continues,"
'Wow, all from us dating?' Jen thought optimistically.
A lot of people have been saying this to her lately. That Jungkook had been more lively and open. Was it really because of her?
"I hope so too," she smiled. "May I assist you?"
His mother looked at her with appreciation as she was preparing to finish up dinner. "Yes, I would love that. Please set up the table,"
"You got it,"
After finishing it up, she helped his mom put the food on the table.
"Jennie is here," she heard Jungkook as he walked inside with his brother and father.
"I'm glad that I finally get to meet her. You talk about her so much, it made me anticipate her arrival even more," his brother, Jung-hyun said to him.
"Hi! It's nice to finally meet you, Jung-hyun," Jennie greeted kindly.
"Likewise. It's nice to meet the 'most precious person' to my brother,"
That made her face heat up while he giggled at her and his brother's flustered reaction. He could easily tell something was going on and was happy his little brother found a significant other. He approved of Jennie right away just from Jungkook chatting about her and showing their photos over their years in Bangtan.
"H-hey! Cut it out!" Jungkook smacked his brother's arm for putting him on blast like that.
His face turned slightly pink as he planned his revenge.
"Jennie! It's good to see you again, how are you doing?" his father asked.
"Very well! I'm happy to be here, Mr. Jeon,"
As they sat down for dinner, Jen sat next to Jungkook while they were across from his parents and brother.
"Jung-hyun, Jungkook showed me some of your art. It's amazing. You know my sister Alani likes to create DIY items,"
"Oh really? Cool. Thank you. I'd like to see them sometime," he grinned.
"She has an Instagram about it. I'll show you later,"
"How many siblings do you have?"
"Just two! Both sisters. Alani and Vienna. Alani is into communications and Vienna is starting to lean more into acting. Lately, she's been wanting to get into Broadway and been auditioning quite a bit,"
After more small talk, Jennie felt comfortable and relaxed further. Jungkook noticed and was happy that his family warmed up to her so easily.
"Are your sisters gamers, too?" his brother asked.
"Not as much as me. I'm more of the gamer out of the three of us,"
"She sucks at Overwatch," Jungkook laughed. "She died as soon as the match began. I wish we recorded it for our channel. It was hilarious,"
'Wooooow. Roasting me in front of your family?' Jennie thought, amused as her nervousness melted away completely.
"Hey, I'm still learning. And you show no mercy in these games. Whenever we play against each other you don't give me a chance to try to hit you," she pointed out.
"Of course not, I want to win," he teased.
"I think you should at least go easy on me so I can learn and then go full out,"
His parents watched them cutely bicker about video games and gave each other knowing looks. She definitely fitted right in. Her genuine smile towards their son was another significant factor. And how she praised him throughout the entire dinner touched their hearts.
"You game as often as Jungkook?" his dad smiled.
"All the time. You should watch our channel sometime. It's really funny," she grinned.
"She gets competitive a lot, Dad," Jungkook laughed. "Just like me. There are games that she's better at and tries to teach me,"
"Well just know that I will be rooting for you, Jennie," his father promised her.
"Dad, you're not going to be cheering me on?" Jungkook looked offended, while his girlfriend and mother giggled.
"It's nice to see you get beat once in a while in games,"
"Jennie, how is your family doing?" his mom asked her.
"Really well. There hasn't been much going on at home. Just working and enjoying summer,"
"One day it would be nice to meet them and have dinner together," his dad suggested.
That made her get butterflies in her stomach as she appeared Jenshooked. Was it obvious that she and Jungkook were dating because throughout this entire meal, they'd been talking a lot about the future and how Jungkook had changed happily because of her.
"Dinner with you and her family?" Jungkook looked Jungshooked for a moment.
"Of course! We're eager to meet your girlfriend's family!" his dad blurted out with a large smile.
"Dad..." Jung-hyun groaned. "We were waiting for them to announce it themselves,"
"Surprise ruined," his mom sighed.
His dad laughed nervously. "Whoops. Sorry. I mean look at them. Adorable. They've been holding hands under the table the entire meal. I had to say something,"
Jungkook and Jennie looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. Jennie had nothing to worry about. Things were just fine.
"Wow, was it that obvious?" Jungkook smiled bashfully.
"Your body language, little brother," Jung-hyun pointed out. "And your lingering gaze towards her. It's cute,"
"Ah..." Jungkook looked down, feeling his face heat up.
Meanwhile, Jennie felt happier than ever at how excited they were to see them dating.
"How long have you two been together?" his mom asked.
"Since January. He's so good to me," she answered sweetly.
"Ah, beautiful. I for one am very happy to see my son with someone that brings out the best in him. You are a wonderful, sweet girl. I fully support this,"
That made Jennie tear up and blink the happy tears away. Wow. They approved. All of them.
After they finished eating, his mom came out with a small cake. It was mouthwatering as Jen devoured it. After eating a second slice, Jennie asked if she could learn how to make it. The surprised expression on Jungkook's mom's face made her smile as she agreed and asked if Jen could teach her the recipe for the baked goods she baked for them a while back.
"I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me with open arms and for your hospitality," Jen smiled.
"Of course. I'm so happy it worked out between you two. We are looking forward to having you over again soon when your schedules allow it," his father grinned.
--------
As summer went on for BTS, Jennie, and Jungkook were invited to film a variety show. With Jungkook, he was on Celebrity Bromance and paired up with Shinhwa's Minwoo. They spent the entire day together and even rock climbed as Jungkook began to feel more comfortable and open around him as the day went on.
After the cameras were off them for a brief period, Minwoo asked if there was any special young lady that caught his eye. His question earned an immediate smile from the Golden Maknae as he thought about Jennie.
"That's the smile of a man in love," Minwoo said with a light chuckle while noticing how his eyes shined brightly. "She must be exceptional,"
"She is. I kind of think of us as soulmates," Jungkook smiled shyly as a blush grew on his cheeks. Taking out his phone, he showed him a photo of them together, "This is my girlfriend. Her name is Jennie,"
"Wow, she's beautiful. You two are in the same group, too. Bangtan is very protective of her, I'm sure?"
"Absolutely. She is very precious to us,"
"Good. I bet she has quite the admirers. How did you two start dating?"
"She does. I wanted her so I was persistent for her to be my girlfriend. I made the first move to express my feelings and kissed her before her flight back home to America. Ah...I felt like my mom because she made the first move and went after my dad," he laughed with him. "She's the best...I'm very happy with her,"
"Treasure every day of your beautiful relationship. And don't let anyone, not even the media ruin what you have,"
"I will treasure it. Every day,"
---------
Meanwhile, when it came to Jennie, she starred in a new show called Celebrity Womance. A spinoff of Celebrity Bromance. Jen was honored to be in the first episode of this new show. She decided to meet the woman she was paired up with at a bubble tea shop, ordering tea for both of them.
"I am excited that they asked me to be a part of the first episode of Celebrity Womance. There's already a bromance version of it so it'll be fun to see who I am going to be paired up with. I have no clue who it might be," Jennie said on camera for a brief interview with the staff of the show.
She then went to sit back at her seat in the café to wait for the woman.
"I'm a little nervous..." she murmured and contemplated chewing a piece of gum to relax.
But then chose to sip on her milk bubble tea instead, chewing on the bubbles that came up through the straw.
'Someone Appeared!'
Jennie turned in the direction of the door opening to see Yoon Mirae walking in with a bright smile.
"Hello!" Yoon Mirae greeted with a wave.
"Holy crap," Jennie blurted out in English under her breath as she stared at her, bewildered.
She covered her mouth and felt embarrassed at the sudden statement while Yoon Mirae giggled.
She stood up and bowed at the highly respected artist, "H-hi! Oh my gosh, it's an honor to meet you! My name is Jennie!"
"Nice to meet you, I'm Yoon Mirae. You can call me Natasha Unnie,"
'Unnie already?! Whoa!' Jennie thought in amazement.
"Wow. I...wow. I was not expecting this. You worked with my leader and now I'm sitting with you today,"
The show showed a montage about Yoon Mirae and said that she is one of the most highly respected artists. To Jennie, it was a dream come true.
"I've been watching you," Yoon Mirae smiled.
"You have?"
"You've caused quite a stir when BTS was announced. A black girl in the group. I bet you had to deal with a lot of negativity,"
"Yes. I don't even know where to start. It was ridiculous,"
"What has it been like for you as a black woman here?"
"When I first started, they tried to make me look paler. The makeup they would use would be lighter. It was embarrassing and so disrespectful because I was like hey, this is not my shade. Why do you have to try to make me look lighter? There is nothing wrong with my skin. I had to start talking with the stylists and educate them. I remember some started reading articles and watching YouTube videos on how to style my hair,"
"Have they stopped making you look pale?"
"Yes, thankfully. It took a little while but now my makeup looks more like it should for my skin. And before that, I started bringing my makeup and gave it to them to use instead. When I first started in BTS they always seemed to prioritize the boys and their make up but when it came to me, not so much. I'm happy to see the growth in my hair and makeup being a priority in BTS. You've been bullied a lot too, haven't you?"
"Yes, I have. Growing up I experienced a lot of racism and bullying. When my dad was in the army, we moved a lot when I was young. People would tell my dad that he was a sell-out because he married a Korean woman, why marry a Korean,"
Jennie frowned at that and shook her head. "I get so frustrated with that. If you love someone, you love someone. Whatever race you are or what you're into. I don't like it when people judge who you're dating, especially if they're biased towards people dating within their race. There is nothing wrong with interracial dating and I'm a full supporter of that,"
The two shared a long conversation about their time living in America and then coming to Korea. Jennie was amazed by her story. The fact that she had to deal with so much as a mixed woman and how traumatizing it was for her devastated Jennie.
When asked about the pressure of being the black girl in BTS, Jen broke down.
"Sorry," she tried to laugh away her pain but the tears were too much to stop as they ran down her face. "I'll admit it's been extremely hard over the years. All those hate comments, it was so hurtful to see them coming from the fans that were supposed to be supporting the group. All members of the group. I thought I would be protected by them, y'know? From all the rest of those hating on me. They would defend the rest of the members from the hate but when it came to me, I was just an afterthought. I'm just as important as the rest of the guys. I work just as hard as them and I love our fans just as much as them,"
Yoon Mirae reached out to hold her hand, listening to her as she expressed herself.
"Sometimes it can be overwhelming. And I used to feel like a burden being the only girl in the group. So many high expectations, being an African American in this country, people wonder if you can keep up with the guys, making sure the company is impressed with your work and doesn't think you're slowing down. It's something that was always on my mind," she went on.
"And you're still here. Still strong and performing," Yoon Mirae smiled. "I was happy to see you in BTS. And I was worried about the negative feedback you would get. But you've overcome a lot and you are still standing. You should be proud of that. And what I've dealt with as a kid made me stronger too,"
"Thank you. It definitely has. Things have been much better now. A lot of positives outweighed the negatives. And your music helped me a lot. I love your song Black Happiness. You are such an inspiration and I do hope I can become a well respected and influential artist. To have people look up to me and be a positive role model as a member of BTS is a big dream of mine,"
"I would say that you already are. Keep doing what you are doing, Jennie. Keep singing and working hard. You're a bigger inspiration to others than you think,"
After drinking bubble tea, the two decided to spend the day roller skating. There were a lot of laughs between them as they got to know each other. Both fell quite a few times and helped each other up. After skating, they ate at a booth by the roller rink.
"Do you have a significant other?" Yoon Mirae asked after the crew took a break from filming.
A bright smile came across Jen's face as she thought about Jungkook.
She nodded happily, "I do! I'm happily dating Jungkook. We've been dating since early January,"
"Ah, your group member? That's cute. Who liked who first?"
"Well, he," she chuckled, "He did. He liked me for a long time and we became best friends. One night he confessed and kissed me hours before my flight back to America,"
"Wow, how bold,"
"Very. But I'm glad he did because it made me realize how strong my feelings were for him. And even if we weren't dating, we would always be best friends. I'll always have love for him. I feel like we're soulmates because I feel such a strong and deep connection with him. He makes me so happy,"
The smile didn't leave Jennie's face as she went on, "I'm still learning about love. I'm still young and experiencing a lot of things. I'm happy it's with him and I wouldn't change anything about it,"
"There's nothing like being with the one you love. That's how I feel about my husband,"
"Right? And I recently met his parents and brother for dinner to announce that we were dating. They were so happy and welcoming. It made me cry that they accepted me so quickly,"
Yoon Mirae smiled at that. She was proud of Jennie. Things were looking up for her and she hoped it continued for this young artist.
"There are days when I watch you and your husband together, being a strong duo in music, it makes me think of Jungkook and I. I want that. To be able to perform with him on stage, and have songs together. I'm not sure when we'll tell our fanbase about our relationship but for now, we are just trying to keep things private and away from Dispatch as much as possible," Jen added.
As the evening progressed, the two sat at the park to enjoy the summer night while eating water ice together.
"Time flew so fast and now our time is about to end," Jen sighed.
She truly enjoyed her day with her. She learned so much and got a lot of advice on performing and life in the industry. The two planned to keep in touch and exchanged contact information.
---------
"Jennifer," a deep voice called out.
Looking up from her phone, she turned her head to see him leaning up against the door of her studio. He appeared nervous as he wondered how he was going to ask her what was on his mind.
"Hey, what's up?" she kindly greeted.
"I want to talk to you...privately. Meet me in my studio when you're ready. I'll be here all night. Take your time," he said and walked away.
His studio...?
"I wonder what he wants to discuss," she murmured as she finished her break.
After she finished her work, she made her way down to his studio and shut the door. She watched gleefully as she noticed that he was working on his mixtape.
"Ah, you're working on it! I'm so happy!" she beamed.
He acknowledged her words with a soft smile and gestured for her to sit next to him.
"Yeah, about time, right? It's almost ready," he said proudly.
He had worked so hard. It was going to be worth the wait.
"I'm glad. I can't wait to hear it. So, what did you need from me?"
"I want you to listen to these two songs," he said and pressed play.
She checked out his computer screen to see that the first track was called The Last. He had played the song near the end as his raw lyrics and intense instrumental had her nodding her head to the beat. He then played So Far Away for her.
"Wow, these are..." she couldn't think of the right words to how powerful his music was.
"It's missing something," he stated.
She turned to him, confused. "Missing something? How? It sounds perfect,"
"Not without you,"
Her heart skipped a beat at his words. "What are you saying?"
"These songs are missing something. And it's you. No matter what I do, I don't feel like they are complete. I want something more on these tracks. And that's why I asked you here today. I want you to play the guitar for these two songs on my mixtape,"
'You want me...? On these?' she thought in astonishment.
"I want..." Yoongi stopped and shook his head, "I need you on this. The way you express your emotions through that instrument, I need that in these two songs. No one else can play the guitar like you. Your sound is what I need for this. Please,"
He gazed at her and held her hand, nervously waiting for her answer.
Many thoughts went through his head. Was he being too forward? She could always decline the offer. But was he prepared for that?
"When do you want to get started?" she spoke, interrupting his thoughts.
His eyes widened slightly at how quick she was to accept his request. "You'll do it?"
"No one has ever asked me to play the guitar like this for their music. It's usually just my voice and a little feature. So, doing something like this for you will mean the world to me. And the fact that I'm the one you thought of for such an important project, how could I say no to you? I'd be honored to play."
"Jennifer...thank you,"
"Always, Yoongi,"
When they got situated, they spent a couple of hours on the songs. Jen was amazed at his story. He is a reserved person and the fact that he was letting all of this out in his mixtape got her emotional.
"H-hey, Jennifer, are you okay?" Yoongi stared at her with worry as he noticed tears running down her face.
"Sorry. The Last is just getting me worked up. What you've gone through I...I'm feeling it. All of it is from your lyrics. I'll play the guitar right and do it justice. Let's record,"
"Are you sure? You want to wait until you pull yourself together first?"
"No. My sound on the guitar is enhanced when I'm feeling the emotion. If I cry, I cry. Replay it from the beginning. And when it's my cue, press record. I don't need to wait,"
Her demeanor turned into work mode as she remained focused and listened to The Last with her guitar in her hands. She listened to every lyric he rapped in song as her fingers twitched in anticipation against her guitar.
Yoongi couldn't help but feel slightly concerned as she waited for her cue.
"Hey, if this is too sad for you or-"
She raised her hand, signaling him to be quiet as she continued to listen.
Deciding to do as she said, he watched her in her work mode. Lately, Jennie had been mirroring the emotion of whatever she played on her guitar on her face. This was a vulnerable song. And she couldn't help but shed tears as she listened, preparing to play.
Once she heard the drums, she began to aggressively strum through the strings as his rap played against her ears. He watched her astounded as it was everything he wanted in this song and more. The way she played sounded perfect against his voice. The powerful chords she played against his voice were going to leave a huge impact on the mixtape for sure. After she was done, she exhaled sharply and set down her guitar.
"Now I need a moment," she said, wiping her tears. "I felt that. All of that,"
"What you just did was amazing. I don't know what happened but it sounded perfect. Thank you," he praised.
"I try," she smiled and he went to check it out on the computer to fit it in the song.
Once he had done some finishing touches to the song, he replayed it for them to listen. Yep, he was right, it did sound perfect. Fully complete.
"Hey, before we work on So Far Away, can you play AGUST D? I've been staring at it and I'm curious about how it sounds," she requested.
"Sure," he clicked on it twice.
"Oh!" she shouted out after the first few beats. "Oh! Oh okay!"
He laughed at her reaction as she danced in her seat while they listened to the song.
They call me new thang
Shinbyeong watda jimeul badeo
"Whew! Okay!" she cheered, nodding her head to the beat.
Oh, this was lit! This song was going harder than she anticipated.
A to the G to the U to the STD
I'm d boy because I'm from D
Nan michinnom biteu wiye runachik
Raebeuro hongkongeul bonaeneun
My tongue technology
Jennie almost fell out of her seat from that lyric. "OH! Tongue technology!?"
Nan bekkineun geol bekkineun nomeul jabadaga
Hubaedeun seonbaedeun jekkineun nom
"Oh shi-okay!" she jumped up and down in her seat during his second verse. He was rapping so damn fast as she stared at him in disbelief. "Yoongi~!"
Hyeongdeure shigi jiltu deoge saenggineun soeum
"OOOOOOOOOOO~!" she shouted, covering her mouth against the side of her fist. "Yo replay that back! You going crazy right now! The delivery! The delivery of that! Replay it back please!"
Yoongi's stomach began to hurt from the amount of laughter he was doing from her reaction. She was adorable. Accepting her request, he scrolled back to the second verse after the chorus.
"Yoongi! Bro! Why are you going off like this? Like damn!"
He grinned bashfully at her praise. "Ah..."
"No, that second verse! How fast you were rapping!? Come on! That's amazing!"
-------
Once his mixtape was finished, Yoongi prepared to film two music videos. Once Jennie found out about it, she made plans to visit him during his AGUST D music video shoot. As soon as he left the dorm, she went to work to bake Agust D themed cookies for him.
"Yo yo yo~!" Jennie walked on the set with a box of cookies in her hands.
'AGUST D gets a visitor!'
Yoongi turned around and saw her smiling at him. A wide grin appeared on his face as he couldn't resist expressing how extremely happy he was to see her. He wasn't expecting anyone to come by during his shoot but the fact that Jennie came made his heart jump for joy.
"Smartie! What are you doing here?"
She laughed, "You know your biggest fan had to be here! You support me, I support you! Here. Your batch of Agust D cookies. It took forever to try to get the boys to not eat them,"
"You made me cookies? Smartie..." his gummy smile appeared on his face as he accepted them. "She baked me cookies. Her cookies are the best. If you get a chance to eat them, you won't regret it,"
"Aw, you flatter me," she smiled bashfully. "How's filming?" she asked as he took a cookie out of the box and ate one.
He sighed in joy at the deliciousness before answering, "Exhausting. This is honestly more tiring than BTS' music videos. But it's going great. I'm almost done and then tomorrow I film the rest of my music video,"
After visiting Yoongi and staying to watch him record, Jen was called to Big Hit's building for an urgent meeting and came back to the dorms visibly upset. It was abrupt that this happened but she was told by the company that she had to go home due to some visa troubles. She honestly thought things were fine with her paperwork and she could continue to do what she does but now she needed to pack and go home until everything got situated.
When Sejin arrived at the dorm with Jennie, the boys sensed something was wrong and immediately asked questions. Once Sejin gave everyone the news, the mood in the room went down and everyone was stunned by the abruptness.
"What!?" Jungkook exclaimed in disbelief as he shook his head in denial.
"You can't go home!" Jimin exclaimed.
"I think they messed up on some documentation or whatever. I don't know but all I know is I need to go home for a little bit until they fix the issue. Maybe it won't be for that long," she tried to stay positive about it.
"No way," Jin shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe this,"
"We need you. We need all 8 of us here. We're working on our comeback. Everything," Rapmon began to ramble.
She frowned. "I know...I'm annoyed. This is so poorly timed. I thought everything was straight with my stuff,"
"When are you leaving?" Yoongi frowned.
"Tonight," she sighed, which did not sit well with any of them as they tried to ask Sejin if there was anything to prevent it.
Meanwhile, Jen went to go pack as she was told while Jungkook accompanied her to her room. He sat on her bed as he watched her take out a suitcase and go through her clothes.
"Stupid visa..." she grumbled.
She tried to keep her emotions in check. She had plans to chill tonight and now had to spend it on a plane. With Jungkook, he was still trying to wrap his head around her leaving soon.
"Jagi, do you really have to leave...?"
Hopelessness and sadness were evident in the Golden Maknae's voice as he helplessly watched her pack.
He knew the inevitable.
She had to go home. And that meant they'd be apart for an unknown amount of time as Big Hit handled her visa situation. Sure there were times when she would go to America and then come back to Korea but from everything he was hearing, it seemed like this was going to take longer than usual.
On top of that, it was comeback season. That meant more stress as she wouldn't be there to be in his arms to cuddle when both of them felt overwhelmed from working on their comeback. She wouldn't be there to massage him whenever he stayed later from dance practice. Or nap with him after a long day. They wouldn't be showered with kisses, tickles, and derp faces from one another if they needed a good laugh to escape the stress. Finding out that she had to leave so abruptly made his heart shatter and frustrated him. Sure it was temporary but it bummed him out that it had to be this circumstance.
Their dog Tony, whimpered sadly, observing his parents. It was hard to watch Jennie pack up as he was lying in the middle of her bed with a sad expression. No special smartie belly rubs for quite some time. No JenKook bathing him like the family they were. This was going to be new to JenKook but perhaps this would make their relationship grow as they adjust to this brief long-distance relationship.
When Jennie turned to face Jungkook, she smiled sadly at his pouting expression. It was going to be difficult to leave him.
"You know I have to," she answered softly.
"I don't...want you to go," he murmured, looking down at his feet.
"I don't want to go either but it's just for a little while. I'll be back before you know it, Kookie,"
"Can I just come with you?" he looked up and asked as the idea popped into his head.
"As much as I would love that, you know you have to stay here,"
He frowned. It was worth a shot at least.
"It's just...I..." he hesitated.
He just wanted her to stay. She always knew how to make him feel at ease during the comeback season for Bangtan. Now that she was about to leave, it just wouldn't be the same.
Sensing him overwhelming himself with negative thoughts, she strolled over to him. Standing in front of him as he continued to sit on the edge of the bed, she cupped his face.
"Hey," she softly called out, looking down at him. "No matter the distance, we'll make it work. We're the Golden Duo after all. This long-distance thing won't make us tap out. We can do it,"
He smiled at her words. "You're right. We will,"
He reached out for her as he pulled her into his lap. Smiling, she leaned down to kiss him slowly, trying to enjoy his lips as much as she could before she had to leave. She'll miss this.
"Don't do that..." he murmured against her lips and pulled back, panting softly.
"What?"
"Kiss me like that when you're about to leave. It'll drive me crazy," he admitted.
ARF! ARF!
Tony's barking caused them to turn in his direction. The dog happily jumped around after watching them. He jumped on them, causing JenKook to laugh at the sudden movement and break apart. She took a seat next to Jungkook instead.
"I think our son is happy to see us trying to think positively about the situation," Jungkook giggled loudly as a bunny smile appeared on his face.
"Very happy. Hey, how about a belly rub before I leave? Would you like that, Tony?" she cooed.
She giggled softly as Tony eagerly barked and she moved to sit in the middle of the bed. The dog rolled around and exposed his tummy for her while she went to work on her affectionate belly rub. He soon began to relax and eventually dozed off.
"It's going to suck when he wakes up and I'm gone," she frowned as she watched Tony sleep with Jungkook.
"We'll Facetime you," Jungkook promised.
"Please do. And make sure to send me memes and funny filter pictures of the guys,"
"I will. And I'll make sure to send you my progress on my song,"
"Good," she gave Tony one final look as she gently petted him and got off the bed to finish packing, "Make sure you don't feed him too many snacks while I'm gone. You know how you like to spoil him,"
"I won't. Our son is in good hands. I got it," he stood up and helped her.
Once she finished packing, she zipped up the suitcase. She was then gently grabbed by Jungkook and pulled in for a tight hug. Jennie sighed in contentment as she held onto him, enjoying his warmth. Their final hug for who knows how long.
#bts 8th member#jungkook x oc#bts#bts additional member#bangtan boys#the bangtan gal#bts fanfic#bts fluff#yoongi fluff#jungkook fluff#jungkook imagine#jungkook fanfic#bts imagines#bts scenarios#kpop fanfiction#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#bts eighth member#bts added member#jungkook
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LItG S8 Vol. XI
This one is long! 😘
More gossip?! Of course I want to know it all duh!
Jin grabbing me for a chat before the movie night was good. Got to hear him out. I’m glad he’s being respectful of Sienna but I wish she could get it through her thick skull that he’s just not that into her.
Movie night!
I feel so bad for Bea. She is so sweet and he is such an ass. But she is the one who chose to bring him back over the others when we tried to warn her so… 🤷♀️
Oops there I go again, spilling tea I’ve heard… 😏
And I do believe Jin but he also could have been a bit more clear so I do get where she’s coming from. A little bit… I did like getting to rub it in Sienna’s face though 😝
Paying gems to watch Liam fail miserably with Claudia was totally worth it! 🤣
Ugh Emel and Oakley are super irritating at this point. Hypocrites both of them! 🙄
Both Jin and Max’s clips were both super cute and choosing between them is getting harder by the episode! I still love Jin though!! But Max is so tempting 😉
My clip was so nice and tame… this time round. (I’ve seen some other scenarios of what plays if you’re not loyal and oh boy! 🫣)
Not sure how I feel about Theo and Hari talking about me too in their clips. I feel bad for the other girls. I’ve never once flirted with either one…
The boys recoupling was fine. Went pretty much the way I figured it would. OG LI picked us (yay for us loyal girlies!!) and then our Casa LI picked Sienna (yuck) and I’m not sure how I feel about that since I like him too… would have been interesting if Oakley was able to choose Sienna and then have the rest of the couples all mixed up 😅
This is the one time I will thank Liam because… Holy… Moly… that shower scene was 🥵 I’m seriously enjoying the newer spicy scenes. They are much better this season! All ways are hot so play them alllll! The pinning the hands up against the wall is sooooo up my ally I can’t handle it 🫠
Dammit Sienna… just had to ruin it there didn’t you? Though I’m not sure why it would be a secret if you’re coupled with the person you’re caught with. Oh no! You caught me getting busy with the guy I’m coupled up with and have been keen on the whole time! What will everyone think? 🥱
Heart Rate Challenge Time!!!
So excited for this HOWEVER the outfit choices are awful! I am so disappointed in the options for MC! Why the awful bright iridescent colors?! What happened to our choices compared to the other girls?? I would literally have taken any one of those over our choices! Ours are so tacky and cheap looking! The mermaid isn’t sexy AT ALL and the cowgirl literally hurts my eyes AND the hat/collar don’t sit right on MC’s body and hair! 😤 The other girls get such cute outfits - especially Bea and Emel…
Anyways, back to the challenge! I do enjoy this one but seeing Sienna all over my Casa boy was hard to watch even though I’m with Jin. I wish we could choose to dance a little bit for everyone like Claudia did instead of all one person. I want to raise as many heart rates as I can!! 🤣
Hazel liking Liam is sad. Poor girl. Oh well she’s been warned too. Bit of a hypocrite with Emel though (shocker!) calling out Hari for not dancing with Hazel but Hazel chose Liam to dance all over and nothing was said to her… I hate double standards.
Not sure how I feel about the Viking outfits… like I like that each boy’s version is a bit different, but the hats sit really weird on their heads. Definitely not a fan of the caveman one on Jin, doesn’t show enough! Max’s superhero is so cute! He can save me any day! Also, he gets bonus points for having pop as his song type because that is what I picked as my favorite! And I’m a fan of Indiana Jones so that was a good one too! But the guys outfits are pretty cute this season! Overall two thumbs up for the boys 👍👍
And of course Liam is a jester… 🙄
I wonder how the results will go… if either Jin or Max gets their heart rate raised most by Sienna then I’m gonna be upset. I know I can’t have both in the same playthrough, but they’re both still mine!! 😅
I really hope the new bombshell doesn’t pick me. Please go for anyone else but me. I am finally back with Jin and I don’t want to ruin that! Also, I’m not a fan of his face so that doesn’t help! lol I guess we shall see what happens next week.
This time it isn’t as bad to wait like the past few weeks have been so that’s good… or is it bad? 🤔
#love island the game#litg#fusebox#litg s8#litg season 8#litg tempting fate#temping fate for real Fusebox!!#you guys made the casa boy top tier!!#he really is waaayyyy too tempting!!#and sweet and kind and hot 😘#these were fun episodes and I will replay them MANY times
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tagged by the darling @m00sebaby! rules: post 10 of your favorite comfort movies and then tag 10 people (i can't promise ten people but i CAN promise ten movies!)
In no particular order:
The Brothers Bloom (2008)
surprise surprise right? I watched this first in 2012 while going through Mark Ruffalo's filmography and I fell in love with it then and is one movie that just always kinda stuck in the back of my mind all these years. I rewatched it a couple of nights ago since I'm now going through Adrien Brody's filmography and I am happy to confirm that I was right in 2012. Best movie ever tbh I'm obsessed. It's also a Rian Johnson film and i just love that i loved his movies before i even knew it.
See How They Run (2022)
It's a whodunnit! There's nothing I love more than a clever little one-off whodunnit! Sam Rockwell does an English accent Saoirse Ronan is so fun and keeps her own accent Adrien Brody is a sleaze bag it's based around an Agatha Christie story it's literally everything I'd want in a movie??? Truly don't think anyone cared about this movie as much as I do which is kinda funny I won't lie
Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
Even if no one else got me i know Howl's Moving Castle got me. I watched this movie for the first time last year while i was sick and it has been a comfort ever since!
Far From The Madding Crowd (2015)
Everyone has a Period Piece that is Theirs. and this one is mine! Literally my favorite period movie ever I know everyone talks about pride and prejudice but THIS movie man!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wish i had more to coherently say about it but I don't all I can say is Matthias Schoenaerts.
Oceans 8 (2018)
Listen. This is the best movie of the Oceans franchise. This one and Oceans 11 are the best okay. I dunno I just adore Sandra Bullock and Anne Hathaway in this movie specifically!!!!
Birds of Prey (2020)
BEST SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST!!!! The beginning of my love for Margot Robbie! It's just SO fun and SO exciting and I just think all comic movies should be this bright and fun and exciting and silly.
Logan Lucky (2017)
Heist movies remain the best kind of movies. It's literally the FUNNIEST movie I've seen in a long time my mom and I can't stop quoting it.
Bullet Train (2022)
Everyone said this was a shit movie but I can't hear them over how hard I laugh every time I watch it like is it stupid??? sure yeah but is it hilarious???? absolutely!!!! Also. Hiroyuki Sanada and Andrew Koji. That is all.
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Literally. Best movie ever made. Funniest movie ever made. There's nothing else to say
John Wick 3: Parabellum (2019)
It's my favorite of the franchise tbh? I've watched this one more than the others cause I just love this one the most
Tagging! @roderickstrong @werewolves @red-dipshit @saltydornishman @krischamplander
and anybody else who would like to do it! i'm always looking for new movies to watch
#this was long and i'm not sorry at all i just have a lot of movies i love and i have a lot to say about them#mine#tag game#thank you liza!!!!
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2, 6, 9, 43, 44, 45, 47, 57, 58, 59, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66 for the Disney asks! :D
WOAH! Thank you a million, Maria! I always want to send you more numbers but I feel like I should give your other mutuals a chance xD but let me know if you want me to go quezzie wild anyway xD!
2) Top 5 Disney movies
Okay, I’m not 100 per cent sure if live-action movies are meant to be included but I find animated and live action very difficult to compare because I’m more of a live-action girl so I’ll cheat & do my top 5 of both!
Live-Action
5. Sky High
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
3. High School Musical 2
2. George of the Jungle
1. Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997)
Animated
6. The Fox and the Hound (I couldn’t leave it out because it makes me cry uncontrollably every time)
5. The Lion King II
4. Mulan
3. Frozen
2. Tarzan
1. Frozen II
Strangely (for me) I think all the animated movies would come first, except for maybe George of the Jungle and R & H Cinderella is my absolute favourite.
6) Favorite villain
I think Zira from the Lion King II is actually my favourite! I am very much influenced by her villain song being my favourite but her obsession with Scar and treatment of her kids is facinating. But I do really like Maleficent and Frollo gets points for being the most freaking terrifying (though I hate him with a burning passion (see what I did there??))
9) Favorite sidekick
Oooh! Cool question! I haven’t thought about this before. I think I’ll go with Olaf. Though I do really love Terk from Tarzan too.
43) Which princess’ story is the most similar to your life
Oooh! Really cool question! Honestly probably Rapunzel because… well, I’ll just say I know a Gothel and I don’t go out much.
44) Which princess’ personality is most similar to yours
Hmm. Maybe Anna? I’m quite excitable and intensely enthusiastic about things. Family means the most to me. I’m pretty naive in the romance department and I would totally sing with a stranger I just met. I have a tendency to say the first thing that pops into my mind, also but I’m probably more random than her.
45) All time favorite song
Into The Unknown from Frozen II! (Special mention to Colors of the Wind, Out There, I'll Make a Man Out of You, Not One of Us, I Won’t Say I’m in Love and My Lullaby & a load of songs from R&H Cinderella)
47) Favorite villain song
“My Lullaby” from the Lion King 2, for sure! It’s so intense! Ngl, I wish the Lion King II was a stage musical rather than the first film. I like the songs and characters and overall story a lot better!
57) The most underrated Disney movie
Tarzan! I grew up obsessed with it. I wanted to be Tarzan. I used to walk around on all fours just the way he did in nothing but my underpants lol. Those were the days.
58) The most overrated Disney movie
I think Aladdin. I just watched the animated tv series to death. I’m not too keen on the story or the songs. I much prefer the sequels, especially King of Thieves. And I think I much preferred the ouat versions of the characters, especially ouatiw’s Jafar. Such a great villain!
59) Favorite Pixar movie
I’m not a big fan of Pixar because I don’t like the way the animation looks. They are pretty heartfelt though and I have cried during them. I think Incredibles 2 is my favourite because superheroes! We must bring back the Two Ds! (I miss beautiful 2D animation)
62) Best soundtrack
I would say Into the Woods because it’s one of my absolute favourite musicals but I much prefer the original broadway cast. So, Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella 1997! But special mention to The Lion King II, Frozen II and the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
63) Last Disney movie you watched
Hmm. I feel like it’s been a while. I’m pretty sure it was Prince Caspian. That movie has really grown on me! Especially since I got into Ouat.
64) Two characters that would be great friends
Anna and Rapunzel. They have similar personalities and look a lot alike lol (I headcanon they’re cousins). They might already know eachother because (spoiler for Olaf Shorts) Olaf implies she is a good friend of his & they were at Elsa’s coronation, I think. Though I thought they were from different points in time. Also, they should let Elsa and Kristoff interact.
65) Two characters that would be enemies
All the Villains would not get on. I can’t remember if they did in House of Mouse. I think Frollo would be really upset if Maleficent called on all the powers of hell in front of him.
66) Two characters that should be paired up, but aren’t
Mulan, Aurora and Phillip xD. Heck, they can throw Shang in there too. Also Elsa and any woman! I think she’s pair nicely with Mulan or Belle.
#disney#frozen#tangled#elsa#princess anna#the lion king#tarzan#narnia#cinderella#ask game#the chronicles of narnia#darkpoisonouslove#this was so fun! thx again!#am*
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My Favorite Movies of 2011, 50-1
If you haven’t already read my 2010 list, I would recommend doing so, as I explain a little bit about who I am and why I’m doing this. If you don’t care, that’s fine too.
In the process of going back and examining this year in film, I noticed a couple of things. For one, it really feels like the calm before the storm in the world of superhero movies. Sure, we had a few big ones; Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, X-Men: First Class. But in a day-and-age where the only movies that feel like they’re at the center of the culture anymore are MCU ones (and Top Gun: Maverick), 2011 suddenly seems ripe with adult dramas, studio comedies, auteur projects, and genre fare. Those are the types of movies we wish we had more of. And yet, the actual movies of 2011 aren’t that great. All in all, it was a pretty mediocre year. Welp.
I’d also like to shine a light on this year’s Oscars, which in retrospect... were god awful. The Best Picture lineup consisted of the following:
The Artist, the Descendants, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, Warhorse.
By my count, that’s two utterly pathetic movies (The Help and Extremely Loud), four relatively minor works from true geniuses (The Descendants, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, and War Horse), two masterpieces (Moneyball and The Tree of Life), and one of the most deflating Best Picture winners in Academy history (The Artist). Not great. Maybe the most stunning thing about this year’s Oscars are the ratings... 39.5 million. That number continued to go up for two more years. Depressing. I miss the days of movies mattering.
And so, here’s my fifty favorites from a year where they did.
50. 30 Minutes or Less
Lots of reasons why this movie wouldn’t be made today. Fair. But I’m glad we have it.
49. The Devil’s Double
There’s an argument to be made that the best performance of 2011 is Dominic Cooper’s portrayal of both the son and successor of Saddam, Uday Hussein, as well as a morally righteous opposite, named Latif Uahia. Effectively convincing as polar opposites, Cooper pulls off a sensational act of dualism in the middle of a smashingly fun, if not flawed, movie.
I’ll also add that in the 11 years since this came out, Cooper hasn’t been in a single good movie. That sucks.
48. Incendies
Ouch. This one hurts.
47. We’ll get there.
46. Jane Eyre
Taking these digressive 19th century novels, injecting them with some horniness, and adapting them into two-hour movies is a good idea, actually.* Not all of them work but some do. Cary Joji Fukinaga’s very faithful version of Jane Eyre is one that does. Gorgeous to look at and a breeze to get through... I’m a sucker.
*Bridgerton’s existence ceases any need for that nowadays.
45. Source Code
The Best Movies Set on a Train:
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)
The General (1926)
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Runaway Train (1985)
The Train (1964)
Murder on the Orient Express (1974)
The Lady Vanishes (1979)
Unstoppable (2010)
The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
Silver Streak (1976)
Source Code doesn’t crack this list thanks to it’s lackluster third act, but the exercise proves one of life’s surest promises: trains make for a great movie setting.
44. Nostalgia for the Light
I don’t care for stargazing as a way to spend time, but I liked watching this. A deeply compassionate documentary that grabs the heads of everybody who’s lost staring at the stars and forces them to look internally.
43. The Grey
Liam Neeson has made roughly *checks notes* 25 movies in which the premise revolves around his character exacting revenge upon a criminal organization, governmental body, pack of animals, or nature for it’s injustices. Some of them classify as B-movie pulp, others are true shit stains, one is Schindler’s list, and then there are a few that fit somewhere in between. Not worthy of any real acclaim, but also float above “guilty pleasure” territory. The Grey is one of those.
The pitch was easy: “Liam Neeson fights a pack of wolves.” Sold!
42. The Ides of March
This is the absolute highest I could rank The Ides of March, a stale and forgettable political “thriller” that runs like a slog despite being a thin 101-minutes. This is also the absolute lowest I could rank a fast-talking political “thriller” starring Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright, and Paul Giamatti. I kind of hate that I like this movie, but I do.
41. We’ll get there.
40. The Arbor
I’m learning to love documentaries. It’s ones like these that accelerate that process. The ones employing gimmicks that don’t feel gimmicky, and bare a borderline manipulative emotional weight. It isn’t always effective, but when they work, they work.
39. The Arbor
In Bruges’ less successful younger brother (or in this case, technically, older brother). Gotta love those McDonaghs.
38. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
The Mission: Impossible movie that saved the franchise from itself. Non-coincidentally, it’s the first one that loops in eventual director and Tom Cruise business partner extraordinaire Christopher McQuarrie, who worked on rewrites. While it isn’t quite as strong as it’s sequels, there are still half-a-dozen fist-clenching and seat-gripping “fuck yes, Tom” action sequences. It’ll also forever be remembered as the MI movie in which Cruise decided halfway through production that he actually *wasn’t* going to hand the franchise off to Jeremy Renner like initially intended. Thank the good lord.
37. Real Steel
Remember when Shawn Levy made fun, cheesy, low-grade punch-fests that didn’t rely upon constant eyebrow raising self-reference and winking humor, before attaching himself to Ryan Reynolds only to do exactly that and only that? Me neither. But this is the one time he did. I vote for more movie star-led robot action movies aimed for the souls of teenage boys. The ones that had recyclable, saccharine emotional arcs and truly impressive visual animation. Deadpool was fun, but talented directors like Levy being wasted on Netflix depresses me.
36. Insidious
This was a really bad year for horror. One of the worst of the decade, actually. But Insidious, which essentially gave birth to The Conjuring, should be discussed more. It is the godfather of the movie that is the godfather of countless successful horror movies. Without it, I’m not sure how the genre fares over the next eleven years. So whether or not it’s as good as those movies (it is) doesn’t really matter anyways.
35. Kaboom
I suppose this movie could be described as somewhat of a “bizarre inquiry into male fantasy.” But that isn’t what’s interesting about it, to me. There’s nothing truly profound going on here, and it isn’t even that funny. But it is funny enough, and takes some satisfactory aesthetic swings. One of those swings is Haley Bennet getting eaten out by a French model...sheesh. I do hope that Gregg Araki makes another movie.
34. The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975
Unbelievable and shameful that these archives didn’t see the light of day until 2011.
33. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
The kickoff to a marvelous big budget blockbuster franchise that only managed to get better by the film. Matt Reeves’ triumphs shouldn’t be understated but neither should Rupert Wyatt’s, who inarguably had the hardest job — to revive dead IP. It’s a perilous haywire act that almost always goes sideways. This one just checked every box. Exceptional CGI work, a trying movie star, strong character actors doing their best, and a mega-climactic Golden Gate bridge-set action setpiece for the ages. Like I said, all the boxes.
32. Midnight in Paris
How the fuck does Owen Wilson get to be engaged to Rachel McAdams in two movies?! Two fucking movies! Hold one one sec-
-...I’ve just been alerted that Owen Wilson starred in a movie last year in which he gets married to Jennifer Lopez.* God hates us.
*Don’t worry, I don’t miss Jennifer Lopez movies. I actually saw this one, and it was quite bad. Had a good ol’ time watching it though.
31. Bill Cunningham New York
Eye-opening beauty. This movie makes me want to go back to New York.
30. Fast Five
They drove a fucking stolen vault through the streets of Rio de Janeiro in a police chase! They drove a fucking stolen vault through the streets of Rio de Janeiro in a police chase! Don’t make me say it again. I detest the Fast & Furious movies that come after Five, and most* of the ones that came before it. But I stan for Five, and if you don’t then you’re lame.
*2 Fast 2 Furious is dope.
47. Bad Teacher
29. Young Adult
Studio comedies with big, bright, beautiful movie stars at their center. Cameron Diaz and Charlize Theron — two blonde sex bombs with electric presence, charm, and comedic wit — made good ones in 2011. Young Adult has a genuinely good script and finds Theron delivering one of her best performances. Bad Teacher is only dumb fun, but it hauled in about $200 million more than the former. Regardless, they’re a relic of a sort-of last gasp for this type of movie in Hollywood. I wish there were twenty of them every year.
28. Captain America: The First Avenger
27. X-Men: First Class
A bitterly ironic transition from the types of movies that don’t get made to the types of ones that do. The state of superhero movies feels as flat as it did in the pre-MCU 2000s, and yet they’re made at a more rapid rate than ever. On the bright side, these are two quality ones!
On a serious note, I will soon stop talking about how much worse off movies are nowadays than they used to be. Because, as previously noted, 2011′s cabinets are pretty fucking bare. However, I think we need to find the right balance between over-stuffed, self-serious machismo cape movies and mega-self-aware, winking fourth-wall-breaking comedies. These two movies captured that. Talented actors, smart ideas, a shaggy-but-effective script, propulsive action scenes, and maybe a tease in the stinger. That’s the formula.
26. Martha Marcy May Marlene
I just learned that this was Elizabeth Olsen’s acting debut. What the fuck?
25. 13 Assassins
Here’s the thing. This movie is 141-minutes and the first 80-or-so are truly plodding. For a Takashi Miike movie, 13 Assassins is quite... boring? Until. Yes, until. That is until it isn’t boring. Because, I assure you that the last 45 minutes of this movie are some of the most adrenaline-charging, bone-crushing, teeth-gritting, sit-up-in-your-seat-and-jump-into-the-television minutes of a movie in the past 20 years. It is a delightfully bloody massacre that shocks every gorgasmic sense in your brain, body, and soul.
The funny part is that this is actually one of Miike’s tamest movies. That speaks volumes about how sadistic he is, rather than how “safe” this movie is.
24. Hanna
The Saoirse Ronan biopic, I think.
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Thoughts On 2022 Favorites
TV Shows
1. Severance: My absolute favorite new live series in years. Great premise with a unique (and ironic) visual look that perfectly matches the tone of the series. The opening credits are just. So!! *chef kiss*
2. Wednesday: This was a lot more fun than I was expecting. While I felt so-so on some aspects of the show (the cgi and the teenage drama especially), the style of the series and Jenna Ortega's portrayal of Wednesday was fantastic.
3. Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: New Halloween favorite! The overall series is a combo of spooky and pretty. Particularly enjoyed The Viewing and The Outside.
4. 1899: Enjoyed the heck out of this show, which is weird considering I didn't like Dark. It's Lost but actually coherent. All I could ever want out of a character-driven sci-fi series.
Animation (TV & Films)
1. Amphibia: Perfect series, with a perfect (and surprisingly bittersweet) ending. A new Disney favorite. Hope it gets a bluray release like Gravity Falls did.
2. Lego Monkie Kid: The animation blew me away in this series but it's also great story and character-wise despite being so short in length.
3. Rise of the TMNT Movie & TV series: The Rise movie proved I'll never be fully over comic book/superhero genre films despite feeling very burnt out on them overall. It’s a fairly old franchise, but it hasn't grown cynical over time. I think this is key to keeping franchises going indefinitely. It still has so much heart to it, and the Rise movie was my favorite new film released this year. Made sure to watch the series in it’s entirety as well and now wish I had checked it out earlier.
4. Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio: This story has never really connected with me (even when I watched the Disney film as a child), so I was a little surprised at how much I liked this one. (Which I should not have been - this is Guillermo del Toro after all!) Gorgeous animation and very unique compared to all the other various versions of the story that seem to be released every freaking year (I'm looking at you Disney).
5. Wendell & Wild: While I wasn't super enthused with the (kind of bloated) story, I adored the animation and character designs. Always nice to see something new from Henry Selick.
Anime (TV & Films)
1. Demon Slayer: Was curious to see if the hype was real and am pleased to say it's worth watching. Incredible animation and a likable main cast.
2. Spy x Family: The premise is what hooks you, but the character moments (paired with great music) is the heart of this series. Just a super solid comedy/action anime series.
3. Shadows House: Still need to finish the second season, but I'm enjoying this one a lot! An intriguing, underrated mystery series.
4. Perfect Blue: I believe this is the final Satoshi Kon film I had not watched up until this point, and I'm more sad than ever that he died so young. It was a prophetic, horrifying film.
Video Games
1. Cozy Grove: Probably the game I played the most this year? I'm finding that I love this kind of gameplay a lot (Animal Crossing-esque), so I'll probably look for more games like it in the future.
2. Little Witch in the Woods: Fantastic pixel-art aesthetic in this one.
3. Machinarium: Ever since playing Samorost 3 Amanita Design has become one of my favorite indie game companies. This one's an oldie but goodie.
4. Genshin Impact: I don't plan on ever dropping any money on this game but I do like the graphics and gameplay. I can see why it's so popular now that I've played it a bit.
Live Films
1. Under the Silver Lake: Unexpected new favorite. I just have a deep love for surreal movies that shit on Hollywood culture. Hoping to see more from David Robert Mitchell.
2. Nope: I don't know man; I just think Jordon Peele gets me lmao. I have loved all his movies thus far, and this was no exception. Creepy, atmospheric and thoughtful commentary on humanity’s relationship with both nature and fame.
3. Mandy: I need to watch this movie a few more times to fully absorb the visuals/plot/message, but on a first-watch basis it dazzled me.
Honorable Mentions
1. Cursed Princess Club
2. Inside Job
3. Barbarian
4. The Legend of Hell House: this movie was on my Halloween watch list and I loved it so much. The conclusion was fucking bonkers.
Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2023
1. I might actually (willing) watch a few Marvel/DC movies next year.
2. Clone High Reboot: Not sure if I'd say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm very curious to see how the new series turns out.
3. Second season of Good Omens!
4. Nier Automata anime series!!
5. Movies: Barbie, the new Seth Rogan TMNT movie, John Wick 4, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Disappointment Blvd. if it's actually released next year.
Some Creative & General Goals for 2023
I would just like to get back into the grove of drawing regularly again. These days I only have time for photography, but I really want to get back into a headspace where I can prioritize drawing again. Maybe take up painting and nature sketching too.
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It’s funny, I tried to make a Letterboxd list of my favorite disabled movies for Disability Pride Month, and all I could come up with are four.
[Letterboxd screencap. The title is “Disabled and Neurodivergent Movie Rec List“ , and the description reads: “Some favorites with disabled and/or neurodivergent people in them. I'm not even going to try to distinguish between the two, there is just too much overlap. My criteria are: Movies I liked that have a disabled and/or ND main character whose disability 1) is an important part of the story, and 2) is not presented as something bad. Unfortunately, this does exclude pretty much all superheroes.” There are four movies: The Shape of Water (2017), Please Stand By (2017), Life, Animated (2016) and Crip Camp (2020)]
Life, Animated is... Flawed, and I haven’t seen it in quite some years, but I did relate to it enough back then to watch it multiple times, so. The other three I would kill for.
Still, I am a bit shocked about how few these are. I had originally thought that I am quite all right, as far as disabled favorites go. But maybe not. Like, I did exclude pretty much all superheroes. Are they all disabled? Yes. Almost all of them. Would I feel fine with naming Doctor Strange on the same level as Shape of Water? No, obviously not. Another big one is of course my preference for TV shows, which Letterboxd doesn’t do. And I can scrap some more together adding in books and comics.
Actually, let’s do that, after a cut.
Legion (2017-2019):
[Screencap from an episode. David and Sydney, wearing their mental hospital clothes, are standing next to each other, looking direction camera.]
Superhero show about David Haller, a mutant with A LOT of mental health issues that include his superpowers, a mind parasite, and schizophrenia. VERY trippy show, truly unique in style.
Demon in a Bottle (1979):
[Panel from one of the issues. Tony Stark is sitting at his desk, wearing his Iron Man armor except for the helmet, which he is holding in his hand and staring at. He looks unshaven and generally in a very bad state. On his desk are multiple empty alcohol bottles.]
Look, not sure where exactly addiction fits into the disabled/neurodivergent community picture, but I do think we need to count it at least enough to talk about it. And that was something that this legendary Iron Man comic did, in a way that was truly revolutionary for its time. It is a story about Tony’s alcohol addiction, and how he has to start fighting it.
The Movement (2013-2014):
[Two panels. The first is Vengeance Moth sitting in her wheelchair at a table with multiple computers on it. Her green dialogue boxes say “I may not like to fight”, and “But my name is Vengeance Moth”. The second is a close-up of her face. Out loud, she says: “And I will if I have to”.]
In a dystopian city, a group of rebels are hiding in the catacombs, led by a small group of teenage superheroes. I am still not over just how good that comic book series was. Short-lived, but very good. THIS is how you do a diverse superhero group. It has multiple characters of color and multiple queer people, including Tremor, whom I keep bringing up for being asexual. But I actually loved the character of Vengeance Moth even more. She is nineteen and has muscular dystrophy, which actually impacts her glowy moth powers. She’s amazing and I love her.
Margin Street Zeroes (2018-2020):
[An Amazon screencap of three book covers. The only one fully visible is the first in the series, Ye Gods and Little Wishes. The cover is black and shows a round window opening on a snowy landscape, framed with Christmas lights.]
A book series of 5 books about a lovely group of very broke university students dealing with Life, and also gods meddling in their lives. All of them are queer in one way or the other, and all are neurodivergent. Gio, the main character has crippling anxiety. But the only one who actually managed (or even bothered) to find themselves a diagnosis is Frankie, who has ADHD.
Bonus: Defying Doomsday: Stories of Fear, Hope and Survival (2016) and Rebuilding Tomorrow (2020)
[The cover of Defying Doomsday. It is night. A character is with their back to us, probably walking in the same direction as the three others are, a bit further down the line. One parent holding a child by hand, and someone with two crutches. All three are getting caught in the headlights of some form of watchtower.]
Two anthologies about disabled people in a post-apocalyptic setting. I haven’t read either of them, but they are both definitely on my list.
#I still feel like I could have done better#but here you go#disability#disabled#recs#rec list#disability pride
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June 12, 2022
Advertising is so... tiring. Like yes I want marketing majors to get their bags but just,,, please leave me, in particular, alone. And then you’ve got ~Meta~ trying to convince everyone that targeted ads are in fact a good thing (and Apple has an ad out which says almost basically the opposite which is kind of funny) when I know in the pit of my soul that they’re really not and I just...
The thing about having so many older people in Congress is that (I find) they’re just so generally unequipped to understand the problems that we’re facing today specifically with regard to technology. I mean I don’t think there should be an age cap or anything, as everyone deserves representation in government (and maybe a term limit might be better), but I do think it’s a shame that there are so few young people involved. I mean, granted, Gen Z isn’t quite old enough to pop into Congress yet, but I’m not even sure if many of us will when we get the chance even though we should be. Internet literacy is something we’ve been growing up with our entire lives. I think we’d be sufficiently equipped to handle understanding the nuances of technology in the internet age. But idk, maybe I’m just a twenty-something without a job who does nothing but vote.
I AM SO TIRED OF WORRYING ABOUT THINGS I WISH I COULD JUST HAVE A BREAK. FROM EVERYTHING. Send me to the seaside for my health why don’t ya. The salty spray and periodic waves would do me some good. And I don’t want to see a single person for a month. Drop off my food in little parachuted crates from a helicopter.
I went to an art gallery with saxophone-guy and it pains me to say that I wasn’t really able to enjoy it. I went to an arts festival with my parents and it pains me to say that I didn’t really enjoy it. I mean of course I told them I did, and it didn’t really have anything to do with the company I had, but still. Something is most definitely wrong. I wonder if it would be worth it to begin therapy again. I don’t really want to, not really. I am my father’s child in that I don’t really like people all up in my business. But something must be wrong if I have to lie to people when they ask whether I’m increasingly looking forward to my study abroad. Of course I tell everyone yes, but the true answer is that I feel almost entirely neutral. Painfully indifferent.
I watched Multiverse of Madness. I enjoyed it, but I wouldn’t say it was one of my favorites. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Wanda. All she does is cause problems and solve them after extensive fighting and you know what? Good for her; she will always have a supporter here. But idk. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and my tastes are changing, but this was Actually maybe my opinion of the movie has been clouded by my own clouded mind. It was a pleasure seeing Patrick Stewart on screen (despite never having seen any of the X-Men movies) and hearing the X-Men theeeeeme (I quite literally screamed internally). America Chavez seems lovely. What Wanda did with Blackbolt (I feel like he may have been the same guy from the Inhumans show but also it can’t be hard to find a stocky white man with a stubbly chin to stick into a mask)?? Iconic. Do I think Wanda’s dead? Absolutely not. Do I think she’ll be out of sight for a while because they continue to find reasons to nerf ma girl? Yes (Wanda would be an incredible hero if she wasn’t so mentally unstable and I relate to that entirely). Do I think she’ll show up in a time of need in the future and do some funky magic that makes things worse? Yes. Do I think she’ll also be involved in the solution to the problem she caused? Also yes.
Binged Moon Knight, loved it. Like, seriously, I loved all of it, and I cannot wait for the next season. I wonder if the writers consulted folks with DID. They must have. It’s very refreshing to have somewhere other than NYC be in peril lol. And an Egyptian Superhero??? AHH YES we love to see it. Did Marvel hold off on a lot of their representation until after their main storyline seemed to be finished? Perhaps, and maybe that’s something to critique, but I also think it follows the Riordan tactic of gaining an audience and then peppering it in as you see fit.
That said... it would be sort of nice if Marvel slowed down a little. The market feels so incredibly saturated and I continue to watch because I love me a good fight in a cape n all... but if production on all these projects was a little slower... if watching the movies felt like a treat again, and less like an obligation in order to keep up with a storyline... I think I just want to experience that feeling from back when I first saw Avengers.
Today I’m thankful that I have a family who loves me.
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HeLLLOOOOooooo Marcus Moreno needs some love. I see a lot of whump for Marcus being hurt but what about the team getting captured but no powers!heroic!reader gets badly hurt and gets thrown in the room with the rest of them while unconscious and Marcus shifts all his focus to her? Protective angst to fluff?
alright anon, I watched this god awful movie for this so I hope you enjoy!!
Best Laid Plans
Summary: Even the best laid plans can come tumbling down.
Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F!Reader (no Y/N)
Rating: PG-13 (Swearing, superhero violence)
Words: ~7500 (Read on AO3)
Tags: hurt/comfort, mutual pining, reader injury (nondescript), superheroes and supervillains that are cheesy because I am bad at making them up, happy ending
Notes: This is younger Marcus! I picture reader is eventually Missy’s mom, but do with that what you will. I just wanted some unsure/pining Marcus and to explore where his leadership style came from, since it seems like he’s not really a natural leader like Missy is. I also changed his powers a bit since it’s not clear exactly what they are.
Sometimes, Marcus wished he had the power of invisibility. Sure, metal bending was cool—a party trick at bars in college, a fun prank to play on his mom when he was young—but more than anything, he just wanted to disappear. Like his powers, the new generation of heroics coming up was enjoyable—until it wasn’t. Gone were silly games, childhood naivety and harmless fun. Now, he had the world to save—him and the other Heroics—and this pressure wasn’t something he was able to bend to his will.
While his associates leaned into the role, snapping pictures, shaking hands, kissing babies, Marcus preferred to blend to the background. He was trained, sure—Anita made sure of that—but he would let Lava Girl melt the villain of the day, let Vox shatter their eardrums until they bled, let Miracle Guy sign autographs for his adoring (pretty, female) fans, choosing instead to wish, like metal, he could melt away to liquid.
The new round of heroics also meant a new leader would need to step up; Marcus felt Miracle Guy had the role in the bag. All bravado, super strength, flight—a picture perfect Heroic—to lead the team to countless victories, and he could lead the life he wanted. Settle down, away from the spotlight. Maybe have a few flings, get a dog—a big scruffy thing, he thinks—go on a vacation. Finally relax, maybe pull out his metal bending while drunk on a dare but otherwise tuck his powers away for good.
He had started his plan in motion recently, finally moving out of his mom’s and into his own place. He knew she meant well, but her overbearing smothering, combined with the fact that she would throw training at him at all hours of the day, meant he was ready to branch on his own. Find who he is without the Heroics, without the powers. Not Marcus Moreno, Heroic; Marcus Moreno, Some Guy.
He’s walking through the park to get to get to his car when he sees you the first time. Sure, he could catch a ride with one of the helicopter backpacks, or meld a bus to his will, but normalcy starts here; and he’s glad it does, because it brings him to you. You’re crying, but trying to hide it—sniffing angry tears as you tap aggressively on your phone before throwing it into your bag.
“Excuse me, miss? Do you need help?” Marcus can’t help it—it’s practically in his blood to help innocent civilians, and sure, Magnetron is picking you up in his giant magnetic grip and dangling you off a building, but seeing a pretty girl cry on a park bench incites the same feeling in him. You look up at him, wide-eyed, and for a second, Marcus is disappointed. He knows that look; the look of someone who thinks they know him; Marcus Moreno, Heroic, and will want an autograph or a selfie or—
“No, thank you,” you sniffle, gathering your things. He notices you have several bags with you, too many for one person, but when he reaches to help, you shrink away. “I—I need to be getting to work. First and last day,” you whisper sardonically.
“What do you mean?” He can’t help it. Something in you draws him to you, makes him want to know more. Subconsciously, he’s giving his best puppy dog eyes, and you relent.
“I—I’m a PA. And I lost my boss’ BlackBerry, and now I don’t know when any of his meetings are, and like—that’s my whole job, planning, so now the whole world is going to end, and he’s gonna fire me,” you sigh, choking back more tears as you walk away from him; he fights the chuckle bubbling at your theatrics. “I—I need to go face the music.”
“I—I could help you look?” Marcus offers, and you stop in your tracks, turning to him. “It can’t have gone far. Let’s look around,” he says, turning to look along the path in the grass. You cock your brow, but turn your back to him, looking through shrubs as well.
“I—I already looked everywhere, I couldn’t find—" You’re stopped by a tap to the shoulder, turning to find Marcus holding up the missing BlackBerry with a grin. “How—how did you find it!” you yell in disbelief, grabbing it and hugging him with whispered thanks in the process. It’s so powerful he almost falls backwards, but he catches himself with a step back, and you pull away sheepishly.
“Gosh, I’m such an idiot—hugging a stranger and I don’t even know his name,” you chuckle, giving him yours. Marcus contemplates for a minute—part of him wants to tell you. Wants to tell you that he summoned all loose metal items in a one block radius the second you turned your back, quickly picking the phone out of the array of loose change and lost keys before sending it all back to its resting place. But part of him wants to stay like this, just a guy helping a pretty girl. Unable to choose, he gives you his name, letting you make the choice based on your reaction.
“Marcus Moreno. Guess the world is saved,” he chuckles.
“Marcus Moreno. My hero,” you croon with a smile, clutching the phone to your heart, and for the first time, Marcus thinks he likes the ring of that.
Marcus curses himself the entire car ride, the tram ride into headquarters, the elevator ride to the meeting room, and as he sits in his assigned seat around the conference table—he forgot to ask for your phone number, struck dumb by your smile and wave as you walked away. All his coworkers are already here—Shark Boy and Lava Girl whisper in the corner, Lava Girl’s hair turning shades of pink as Shark Boy says something cheeky. Tech-No is typing away on some sort of data pad at his side, Invisigirl coming into sight when the screen ahead of them flicks on with a report. The only noticeable absence is Miracle Guy, though Marcus can’t say he minds, focusing instead on the screen as a scientist goes through techno-babble on a new weapon he barely understands, trying to keep his focus when all his brain wants to think about is you.
Miracle Guy slips in at some point during the meeting, muttering under his breath to his seat neighbors before Anita shushes him, and Marcus rolls his eyes. Not soon enough, the meeting adjourns, and Marcus rushes from the room—maybe, if he goes back to the park, and waits all day, you’ll come back—it has to be on your walk to work, or he could stop by in the morning—
His train of thought is only interrupted when he walks directly into something, a small “oomf” leaving his lips as he instinctively reaches out to steady whatever he walked into; the smell of coffee fills the air, and he belatedly realizes it’s because it’s all over him and the person he walked into, apologies escaping his mouth as he quickly bends to try and clean up the mess on the floor.
“Marcus?” Your voice is small, and if it wasn’t for the soft splat of coffee dripping from the edge of your skirt to the floor, he’d think you were a dream, repeating your name back to you. You both look completely dumbfounded, the empty paper cup in your hands long forgotten as Marcus stays on his knees in front of you a beat too long, looking up through thick lashes until he realizes he’s staring.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry—I didn’t see you, and—” He speaks quickly as he walks over to someone’s desk, pulling tissues from their box.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, taking a tissue from his hand to blot your shirt, but your eyes never leave his as he cleans the puddle on the floor.
“What are you doing here?” he repeats, and you laugh.
“I told you I was a personal assistant—I wasn’t kidding when I said the world would end over a missed meeting,” you chuckle, Marcus standing with the soiled napkins to dispose of them and walking back to look at you in awe. “What do you do? Some kind of—” you pause to take in his outfit; a leather jacket and button-down shirt, thick rimmed glasses, no spandex in sight “—accounting?”
“No, not—” Marcus is interrupted before he can finish his thought.
“That better not be my coffee all over you.” Your entire face crumples as Miracle Guy strides up, turning his nose up. “Marcus, is she bothering you? First she makes me late this morning, now this, I—”
“No, no bother,” he replies shakily, both of you exchanging a look. “I actually spilled your coffee, not her. She was just in the crossfire,” he jokes, and you look relieved, silently thanking him for taking the fall.
“What, you bend a paperclip too hard, Iron Man?” Miracle Guy snorts, and you raise an eyebrow as Marcus rolls his eyes. Miracle Guy looks to you next. “Sweetheart, can you go get me another? And maybe clean up on your way back, can’t have you looking a mess when I meet the mayor later,” he sneers, walking away from you as you roll your eyes.
“Sorry about him,” you apologize. “Uh—I guess I’m on my way to get coffee, boss’s orders. Do you—do you want to come, maybe?” You offer shyly.
“Don’t you need to clean up?’” Marcus responds.
“Eh. It’s on the way. Besides—you gotta get out of those clothes before you rust, Iron Man,” you chuckle, beginning to walk toward the exit of the building, and Marcus follows obediently on your heels.
You’re back in HQ, waiting for the elevator with coffee-in-hand before you finally ask Marcus the origin of his new nickname.
“Why does he call you ‘Iron Man?’”
“Hm?”
“Miracle Guy—why does he call you ‘Iron Man,’” you repeat looking over to Marcus. He takes a long swig of his coffee before responding.
“Uh—I can move metal,” he mumbles, and you look at him incredulously.
“You—can move metal?” you ask with confusion, and Marcus looks around the lobby, eyes stopping on the silverware in the canteen. He reaches out a hand and flicks it, and several spoons raise from the counter, the cashier behind them rolling her eyes and moving to the back to gather more. With another flick, the cutlery flies over to where you’re standing, dumb-struck. They all float in front of you, then twist as Marcus twists his hand. You look from the spoons to Marcus in awe; several have morphed and twisted together, the bowls forming petals at the top as a makeshift flower lands softly in your hands.
“Uh—Yeah. I can move metal,” he replies sheepishly, and you look to the spoons and back to him again as he steps onto the elevator. You step on behind him, Miracle Guy’s coffee in one hand, the metal flower cradled in the other, and you both face the doors.
“You can move metal,” you chuckle, meeting his eyes as the doors open and Miracle Guy rushes over for his caffeine fix. The spoons stay cradled in your hand, placed gently on your desk outside Miracle Guy’s office, and you look to Marcus as he walks by with a broad smile.
“See you later, Iron Man.”
“See you, Pepper Potts,” he replies with a smile—the significance of Pepper in Tony Stark’s life not lost on him.
Despite flirtatious beginnings, your relationship with Marcus teetered between friendship and something more for some time; a metal pen appearing on your notebook when you searched for one in a meeting, an offer of a ride to work when he found out you took the bus each morning. You never treated him differently after discovering his superpowers, always quick to laugh at his dumb jokes or to place a hand on top of his when it felt like the world was crushing him. One day, after a particularly bad run-in with Black Siren, you both sat in the breakroom over coffee, silent under the dimmed lighting.
“I—I don’t know how to keep doing this,” Marcus admitted smally. So many lives had been lost, and while Black Siren was defeated in the end, he often wondered at what cost.
“You don’t have to,” you probed gently.
“I was born with superpowers. I have to.” You hum.
“You know—my mom used to say everyone had superpowers. Some people were born with ones like you, or like Miracle Guy, but some people—they have everyday superpowers,” you seem to weigh what you’re saying before continuing. “Like, do you know someone who’s really scary-good at crossword puzzles? Someone who never hits a red light on the way to work? Maybe those are their superpowers. Yours are moving metal, but that chef at Bello Italiano’s—his is making perfect pasta, and that guy at the baseball game last week—his is tossing popcorn in his mouth with impeccable aim,” you muse, reminiscing on a few of your recent outings with Marcus. Marcus swirls his coffee in contemplation.
“What is yours?” You look to him. “Your everyday superpower.”
“I’m not sure—but that’s not the point. My point is, maybe—maybe you don’t need to save everyone, Iron Man. Maybe the rest of the world, with their ability to win $1 lotto scratch offs or bowl a perfect strike or know exactly when their phone is done charging, maybe they can take a turn,” you shrug. “No one expects you to save everyone, Marcus. Not me, not Miracle Guy, not your mom. But even saving one person—that’s enough. It’s enough for them, it’s enough for me. And I wish it was enough for you,” you finish, taking another swig of your coffee. Marcus looks at you in admiration, your words settling over him like a film until you look at your watch.
“C’mon, Iron Man. Time to get you back to JARVIS,” you joke, gathering your items as he does the same. The walk to his car is quiet, dark except for the lamplights lining the parking lot, and before he turns to the driver’s side of the car, his hand finds yours.
“Thanks, Pepper,” he says reverently, and you nod.
“Any time, Stark,” you reply with a grin, squeezing his hand before letting go. The entire ride home, you think about how happy you are to have met him—to have run into him figuratively then literally, to have a man like Marcus in your life, so compassionate and caring only to be crushed by the weight of the world—and if he’d let you, you’d hold some of it for him.
In the driver’s seat, Marcus thinks about how hopelessly and endlessly in love with you he is.
Despite his late-night revelations, Marcus doesn’t act on his feelings; he tries to ignore it. Before he met you, he had these images of being a “normal” guy—careless flings, rolling out of bed to saunter into work, sports games blasting on the tv. Now, though—now he sees you in a white dress, rolling in the bed alongside him, light lullabies drifting through the house as a baby stops crying. Any wild, rebellious phase he had planned out the window, now a mostly crafted and calculated future missing the most important piece—you. And it’s terrifying.
You told him you didn’t know your superpower, but Marcus thinks he does—planning. There’s a reason you’re a PA, turning down several job offers that would get you better pay and away from Miracle Guy, and that’s because you’re good at it. Despite a few hiccups at the start, Miracle Guy has never attended more meetings, never shown more leadership potential than when you started as his assistant. Marcus has a sneaking suspicion that all of his plans, his routes of action may have come from you, but you won’t admit it, shrugging your shoulders when he asks you about it. Sure, Miracle Guy was the leader, but you—you were in charge.
You got lost in your mind sometimes, all your planning and plotting stored in the matter between your ears, going through mental checklist after mental checklist as you readied yourself for work. You knew how to talk down Lava Girl from an eruption, had a sushi restaurant on call for when Shark Boy got peckish. You made Vox her tea in the morning, you brought Tech-No his chargers before he even realized he forgot them. None of this was in your job description, but you seemed to have everything planned down to a T; even Miracle Guy’s coffee makes it to him on time and at temperature, no longer splashed over Marcus.
So when Marcus was assigned to lead the next recon mission, he knew exactly who to go to. He found you typing away outside of Miracle Guy’s office, only startled out of your work when Marcus flicked his wrists and gently lifted your laptop up and out of your reach, levitating it in the air.
“Hey, Iron Man, very funny,” you jest sarcastically, standing to pull the laptop back to you and placing it on your desk as he leaned against the edge.
“Hey, listen—I need your help,” he asks sheepishly, watching as you go back to typing.
“Marcus, you know I’m Miracle Guy’s assistant, not yours, right? I mean they offered you one and you said no, so—”
“No, not like—assistant stuff. I need advice,” he replies, ringing his hands, and you pick up on his nervous energy. You rest a hand on his knee, closing your laptop and giving him your full attention, so he continues. “They asked me to lead the recon mission for Brain Matter.”
“That’s great, Marcus!” you chirp, only stopping when you see his frown deepen. “I mean—that’s not great?” you try.
“No, I mean—it’s good, and it's clearly the setup for something more. But I don’t—I don’t know that I want to lead.” He emphasizes the last word, and you rub his leg soothingly. “I don’t know how to lead.”
“Sure you do,” you say gently, squeezing his knee before releasing your hold on him to count off on your fingers. “You’re smart, honest, you communicate well. God knows your resilient, growing up with your mom,” you joke, and it earns you a small chuckle. “You’re empathetic and kind. Don’t know many other leadership qualities than that.”
“Yeah, but—what if I mess up? What if no one listens to me and they all start fighting? Or what if—what if I do the wrong thing and it costs people their lives?”
“You won’t. I know you, Marcus. Any decision you make will be the right one,” you smile, and Marcus blushes, looking to his shoes. You both perk when you hear Miracle Guy call your name from his office, you standing to tend to him. “I gotta go. Just—lead by example. A team full of Marcuses? Brain Matter won’t know what hit her,” you joke, looking into Marcus’ eyes deeply before walking away, only caught again by his voice when your hand hits the door handle.
“Thanks, Pepper.”
“Any time, Iron Man.”
The mission goes…surprisingly well. So well, in fact, that Marcus can’t wait to tell you all about it. He hasn’t felt this way about his powers in years—in control and formidable. Sure, moving metal isn’t super helpful when it comes to a supervillain that reads Heroics’ minds, but Marcus had planned for that. Got the team impenetrable helmets, moved stealthily through the abandoned underground tunnels to the villain’s lair. He delegated tasks, sending Tech-No to download the files from Brain Matter’s computers, sending Invisigirl to free any prisoners being kept on lower levels.
What he hadn’t expected was Brain Matter showing up herself. Stuck in an underground cave, there isn’t much metal to be found, and his powers essentially became useless—a fact Miracle Guy was quick to remind him. Miracle Guy was ready to charge in and attack, use brute force to take down the opponent—but Marcus had a different strategy. Confuse her, render her so immobile with all their thoughts she couldn’t help but crumble. The two bickered quietly, determining the best plan, until your voice cut through Marcus’ brain. Lead by example.
So he did. He removed his helmet, releasing a flood of thoughts to the villain. A song he heard on the radio, what he needed to pick up from the grocery store, future dog names. It didn’t take long for Marcus’ thoughts to turn to you; the curve of your jaw, the sound of your laugh. The furrowed look you make when you type a particularly annoyed email. That sundress you wore last week that drove him crazy. A few of the other heroes followed, removing their helmets to think about any and everything they could. Soon, even Miracle Guy had removed his helmet, and Brain Matter had all but collapsed on the floor, thoroughly overwhelmed and easily captured and brought back to HQ—recon turned into recovery.
Marcus had expected to tell you all about it on the drive in the next day, but was surprised when he entered his office to put away his katanas to find you sitting at his desk, sleeping quietly in the lumpy office chair. It had gotten late, the mission taking much longer than anticipated after Brain Matter’s surprise appearance, but Marcus paused a minute just to take you in. Your face at rest for what felt like the first time, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you slept. You weren’t planning, or worrying, or organizing—you were just you. Marcus gently twisted the chair, and your eyes fluttered open.
“You’re back,” you said dreamily, still half asleep.
“I’m back,” he whispered.
“Tell me all about how great you were, team leader,” you tease, eyes barely opening and a sleepy smile across your face.
“Tomorrow,” he promised, and you nodded, the weight of your head sinking back into the chair.
“Hmm…can you make this chair carry me home?” you mumble blearily, and he lets out a small giggle.
“No, Pepper. Not enough metal. C’mon,” he reaches out, and despite the purely organic touch, he swears he feels sparks when your hands gently meet his. He pulls you to your feet, allowing you a moment to nuzzle into his side, arms pulling him into a deep hug. Marcus encircles you back, broad and all-encompassing, rubbing his thumb softly on the back of your neck.
“What is this for?” he teases lightly.
“I knew you could do it, Iron Man,” you murmur. “My hero.”
“C’mon, Pepper. Time for bed,” he replies softly, and you sigh, taking in his scent before pulling away. The two of you walk side-by-side, quiet and content, with shoulders brushing under the crescent moon, and he realizes that despite the terror, despite the dissolution of his original plans, his heart was unable to contain the love for you any longer. It was time to throw away the plan and wing it.
What you both hadn’t planned for, of course, was Vortex.
A few weeks after the mission, the day started like any other, Marcus idling outside your apartment at the sun barely peeked over the horizon—you got in with the same cheery demeanor, but it was clear something was eating him. His face was twisted like the metal he moves so effortlessly, hands wrapping and unwrapping around themselves so much you’re surprised the car hasn’t bent to his will.
“Is everything okay—” He interrupts before you can complete the thought.
“Would you want to go out to dinner tonight? With me?” He spits in one breath. Your face morphs to confusion.
“It’s Tuesday, Marcus. We always go to Taco Charlie’s on Tuesdays—”
“Oh. Uh, yeah, Taco Charlie’s. That’s what I meant,” he backtracks sheepishly, silently cursing himself at his choice in day—of course he messed this up, this is what happens when there’s no plan. Everything in his future seems to become foggier at the botched date, the picket fence, the shaggy dog, the noticeable absence of Miracle Guy’s BlackBerry chiming—
“Oh, shit. I forgot Guy’s phone inside,” you make to get out of the car, but he stops you.
“Pepper, we have that early meeting today with the President, we’re gonna be late—”
“Go without me,” you offer, and he furrows his brow. “I’ll take the bus. And then you can drive to Taco Charlie’s,” you chuckle, and he nods, rolling down the window as you shut the door.
“Okay, bye, Iron Man. Don’t save the world without me,” you joke, watching him wave from the car as you enter your apartment building, missing his final thoughts.
“Never, Pepper. Never.”
By the time Marcus makes it to the office, he finds an email letting him know the President needed to postpone a few hours—which gave him all the more time to focus on how royally he’s messed up. When a call came in for a new villain blowing down buildings, he was more than happy to let the team jump on the task and stay behind for the meeting, leaving Miracle Guy to lead them to an easy enemy to be taken down by super strength or super speed or a well-timed lightning bolt. He had more pressing matters to deal with—how deep the hole he wanted to crawl into should be, whether Taco Charlie’s would be willing to poison him if he tipped well, if he would ever recover from his failure of asking you on a date—
He’s so consumed with his thoughts he barely notices the still silence of HQ, all the heroes out to defeat the new foe. He, of course, does notice your empty desk—the metal flower he twisted sitting in a cup perched exactly where you always left it—but doesn’t have too much time to think about it, as his meeting with the President is coming up. He figures you’re out getting coffee, cleaning up the messes Miracle Guy no doubt left behind trying to show off his powers, probably laughing at how pathetic his attempt was to ask you out.
Marcus waits several minutes for the President to show up on the video feed, used to his lateness after years of dealing with public officials, but when the video crackles to life, he jumps to his feet with a start. Instead of the President, he sees a feed of some kind of dungeon; dark and musty, a few yellow-orange lights illuminating the space enough to make out some hunched figures.
“You’ve messed up, Moreno.” The sound of the booming voice makes Marcus’ heart beat in his throat. Suddenly, a loud grinding is heard, and sunlight seems to stream into the space, illuminating the figures.
Every single Heroic who was sent on the mission this morning comes into focus, all bleary and clearly injured. Tech-No is on the ground, all technology removed from his person. Blinding Fast is tied at the ankles, Lava Girl is submerged in water, Vox’s mouth is tied by a dirty cloth. Each one of them seems to be bloodied and injured, then contained in a way to render their powers useless. He can hear them groan in pain—even Miracle Guy is in tatters, limbs bound and chained to the floor to prevent flight.
“Who are you? Why are you doing this?” Marcus responds in his clearest, most authoritative voice.
“Ah, good. You see what I’ve done with your associates.” A figure walks forward from the shadows; Vortex. Marcus recognizes the suit he wears from previous intel meetings, but they were told, despite his ability to move air to his will, he was a low-threat enemy. How could he have defeated every single Heroic?
“Now that you see what I’ve done to your colleagues, let’s see how you react when I go after those you love.” Marcus barely has a moment to digest the words, Vortex moving the air around him to fly up through the open hole to what appears to be the Earth’s surface. There, Marcus sees his worst nightmare.
You’re immobilized on the sidewalk, wind swirling so strongly around you it looks like you might blow away. Leaves, debris, all kinds of items swirl in its wake—Marcus can’t help but to scream your name.
“Marcus? What’s happening?” You yell over the deafening wind, clearly terrified.
“Yeah, Marcus, what’s happening?” Vortex mocks, flicking his fingers so the wind picks up. It starts to carry you off the ground, and you scream as your feet leave the earth, wind whipping you around until you can barely see straight. The only thing you can yell is Marcus’ name—every heartstring he has is cut to bits at the sound. He watches as you move higher and higher in the air, finally jumping into action.
“Put her down, Vortex. This is between us, not her.” His voice wavers slightly, authoritative tone gone when your life is on the line.
“Oh? Put her down? Okay,” Vortex smirks, stopping the whirlwind around you until you fall hard onto the pavement, head hitting the stone with a sick crack—Marcus yells out your name, and you groan in response.
“Oh, what? That’s not what you meant? Let me try again—” Vortex continues his taunts, picking up your limp body and moving the air around it until you’re in a standing position. Marcus can see every cut and bruise forming, the drips of blood running down your cheeks and matting in your hair, the unfocused gaze of your eyes. Marcus thinks he may throw up when Vortex lifts you again, dropping you to the ground like a sack of bricks as you crumple and groan.
“Why are you doing this?!” Marcus demands, moving closer to the screen. He can see your chest moving shallowly, panic rising as you seem to be lifted again.
“Meet me at Capitol Park in fifteen minutes, Moreno. And maybe she will live.” Marcus watches one more time as the air supporting you suddenly ceases, your limp body falling from the sky. Before you hit the ground, the video feed cuts—leaving Marcus with only a sick sense of dread and the sound of your screams reverberating in his brain.
Marcus is sprinting out of the conference room and down the halls before the screen can go idle. When he passes his office, he doesn’t even flick his wrist—his katanas come flying out of the open door, nudging his tight fists until they open and take them like an obedient dog. Marcus doesn’t stop moving, sheathing the blades as he runs and activating his drone pack mid-sprint until he’s lifted high above the city streets.
He gets to Capitol Park in ten minutes, but his mind barely registers it. Everything feels soupy, his brain only focused on the image of your limp body, on the sound of your screams for him. He couldn’t protect you. He couldn’t help you, he couldn’t tell you how he felt—he couldn’t even get the courage to ask you out. He was worthless as a Heroic, as a man. And now he’s going to lose you, if he hasn’t already.
He’s brought out of his pity party when the leaves begin to rustle around him and the wind picks up; he knows Vortex is nearby. He unsheathes his katanas and stands at the ready, trying to appear confident but inwardly terrified. His jaw is set, legs fixed in a fighting stance as Vortex seems to flutter down to the ground, the wind carrying him ceasing and bringing the park to still silence.
“Good, Moreno. You’re on time,” Vortex smirks.
“Where is she?” Marcus snarls.
“She’s alive, Moreno, if that’s what you’re asking,” Vortex hums. Neither man makes any moves at each other, though Vortex appears calm. The park had quickly cleared out upon his arrival, citizens escaping when the recognized the threat, leaving only the two men in a stand-off. “Though maybe not for much longer.”
Marcus breaks the standoff first, charging at the villain. Vortex throws gusts of wind his way, but Marcus fights through them, katanas magnetized to his hands to keep them from flying away. When he gets close, Vortex swirls the air around him, floating up into the sky again and out of reach—Marcus counters by manipulating the nearby light post, knocking the enemy down to the ground again. The two tousle across the ground, fighting in hand-to-hand combat as they roll through the grass.
“Where is she!” Marcus questions again, gaining an upper hand. Vortex is quick to use the wind to his advantage, using it to flip them both over until he gains the advantage.
“You’ll be too late, Moreno,” he growls.
“Why are you doing this?!” Marcus shouts, pushing the man off of him and magnetizing his lost katanas back to his hands. Vortex also stands, both men beaten and weary but neither ready to give up. Vortex uses his powers to start sending random objects Marcus’ way, branches and small stones and loose bricks, but Marcus blocks each one with his katana artfully, sending one of his blades flying toward Vortex, who blocks it with a gust of wind and sends it clattering to the ground.
The fight continues throughout the park, no regard for property damage or the surrounding area as each of them continue to hurl random items through the air. Vortex pauses, chest heaving and leaning on the bench in front of him to continue his tirade.
“You—you took the one I love! It’s only fair that you pay,” Vortex heaves.
“What are you talking about?!” Vortex scoffs.
“You Heroics, always so quick to forget. You do this for the fame and fortune, Moreno? You don’t care about those you hurt?!”
“Cut the games, Vortex.”
“No! You—you killed Breanna, and now I’m going to kill you!” Marcus sees Vortex’s hands squeeze on the bench, his focus brought to the wrought iron—it’s the bench he found you on all those months ago, before he knew. Before he knew you worked at the Heroics, before he knew how much you would mean to him. Before his plans seemed to simultaneously appear and disappear before his eyes. Marcus falters at the thought, and Vortex takes advantage of it—the bench under his hands lifted in the air and thrown at Marcus. Coming back to focus, back to you, is all he needs to think about; Marcus throws all his energy back at the bench, the intricate metal hovering between the two men as their powers compete.
“Who the hell is Breanna?!”
“Brain Matter! I loved her, Moreno!” The heavy bench surged toward Marcus, and Marcus fought to push it back toward Vortex.
“What are you talking about? Brain Matter is alive!” Marcus yells over the rushing wind, and for a second, Vortex falters at the news. Using the slight distraction, Marcus manages to push the bench onto Vortex, pushing the man back and pinning him to the ground.
“Tell me where she is,” Marcus growls, and when Vortex doesn’t answer immediately, he crunches his fists to dig the heavy bench further into him. Other Heroic employees are beginning to close in, heavy power-proof handcuffs in their hands, but Marcus stays on top of Vortex. “Tell me!”
“She—she’s in Brain Matter’s lair with the other Heroics,” he wheezes, seeming to finally accept defeat. “Br—Brain Matter?”
“Brain Matter is alive and being held in the prisons at Heroics HQ. Uninjured. Which is more than I can say for you if my girl’s dead—” Marcus snarls, letting the other Heroic associates move the bench off Vortex and cuff him. When he sees Vortex secured, he immediately takes off on his drone pack; his body feels ten times heavier, every scratch and scrape aching acutely from the fight, but all he can focus on is getting to you.
The flight to Brain Matter’s not-so-abandoned hideout seemed to pass in an instant; Marcus coming to a stop at the top of the tunnel Vortex had flown out of. He sees Miracle Guy’s phone on the ground, shattered—it feels like its been ripped from his heart. He falters again, body stuttering at the sigh. The light sheen of blood on the asphalt is the only thing than brings him back from his reverie, and he descends into the tunnel.
It takes only a moment for him to take in the scene before him before he’s jumping into action. The previously defeated Heroics are looking a bit better, more aware and almost relieved when they see it’s Marcus dropping in. Marcus immediately twists his wrists, vibrating the cuffs around Miracle Guy at such a high frequency that they practically shatter—the defeated hero immediately stands to his feet.
“Where—where is she,” Marcus breathes desperately. Miracle Guy looks almost apologetic, and Marcus continues. “Release the others—get them back to medical. I—I need to find her.” Miracle Guy nods, taking only a moment to grab Marcus’ bicep.
“You will, Boss.” There’s no malice in his words, pure trust put in Marcus. The two men nod, then break in opposite directions; Miracle Guy moving toward his fallen counterparts, Marcus sprinting further into the lair to find you.
Marcus jogs through the convoluted tunnels of the underground, each one appearing darker and more confusing as he enters the depths. He’s sure he’s doubling back on himself, any and all of his mental energy going to thoughts of you. Why he didn’t force you to leave Miracle Guy’s phone behind, if you would ever forgive him for putting you in danger. Whether you were even alive. The pure dread he feels dissipates when he hears a low groan to his right, immediately veering off to follow the sound.
He finds you crumpled on the damp ground, tossed without a care, and immediately he runs to your side, placing a delicate hand on your arm and breathing heavily into your space. His heart shatters for what feels like the millionth time when you flinch away from him.
“It—it’s okay, baby. It’s me,” he tries gently, watching as your eyes open and close, unfocused. When he reaches for you again, you almost lean into his touch.
“M-Marcus?”
“Yeah—yeah, Pepper. It’s me,” he coos, brushing dirty matted hair from your face as he takes you in. You try to move closer to him, but wince with the movement; Marcus grasps your hand tightly. “Don’t move, baby. I—I’m gonna get you out of here. I got you, you’re okay,” his voice cracks as he tries to gather you, and you groan.
“Did—did you beat him?” you ask weakly.
“Yeah. Yeah, baby. I did. For you.” You hum softly.
“Marcus Moreno, my hero,” you try to croon, barely able to get out the words before you succumb to unconsciousness. Finally unable to be strong any longer, Marcus breaks, letting tears fall softly into your skin as he grips your hand like a lifeline.
He keeps his grip on your hand as the Heroic medical team funnels in, led by Miracle Guy. As they lead you out of the maze of tunnels, as the medics yell numbers that mean nothing to him other than the fact that you’re still alive. His hand only leaves yours when the wheel you back behind doors he’s no longer allowed behind. He considers flaunting his position to continue with you, to follow you to the end of the earth, but Anita’s waiting for him at the entrance with a look he can’t quite place, and he has to let you go.
Marcus waits at your bedside as soon as he can, hand wrapped back into yours if only to remind him you’re still here. Concussed, bruised, battered, but alive. He promises himself as soon as you wake up, he’s going to tell you. Going to tell you that he’s to blame for your injuries, that he loves you too much to let you continue being his friend, his anything—even if he loves you with every fiber of his being. Even if he never wants to let go of your hand again, even if it will kill him to do so—he wants you safe. That’s his only priority.
You give him three days to teeter on his decision. Three days of unconsciousness, three days of doubt whether you’d ever return to him. Marcus never leaves—savoring whatever time he has with you to stroke his thumb over your palm, to push errant hairs from your face. Anita comes and goes, even Miracle Guy comes to check in. But Marcus doesn’t move, barely sleeping or eating or breathing until he can be lulled by the rise and fall of your chest.
It’s late at night when you come back to him. Blinking delicate eyes open, eyes Marcus didn’t know if he’d ever see again. Although bleary, you have a small smile on your face, and you squeeze his hand in yours, unwilling to let it go when he tries to pull away. Marcus stares at you reverently, the breakable heaven tense over the room at the sight of each other.
“Iron Man,” you smirk gently. “I—I’m sorry I missed our date.”
“You’re sorry?” Marcus responds incredulously. “I’m sorry. If it wasn’t for me you would’ve never gotten hurt and—wait, did you just say ‘date?’” With six simple words, any plan he had for what he was going to say, for how he could possibly push you away when all he wanted to do was pull you closer, was thrown out the window.
“Yeah,” you sigh. “Sorry—did I read that wrong? I thought—I thought you were asking me on a date in the car—”
“I was,” Marcus confirms, and you nod with a smile and deep breath. “But I thought—I didn’t—” You squeeze his hand in yours, humming.
“I know,” you laugh, gasping when the action causes pain, and Marcus practically jumps to his feet, but you shake your head. “I got you, Marcus. I always got you.”
“But—but I couldn’t get you,” he counters.
“You did. You got Vortex.”
“But—but you were only in the situation to begin with because of me. Because of decisions I made,” he practically whines.
“I thought I told you that any decisions you make are the right ones,” you chide. Marcus lets the silence hang over the room.
“How could this possibly be right when it led to this?” You pull his hand toward you, and his body follows it until he’s hovering over you. With any strength you have left, you lift your body from the bed to press your lips gently to his.
“Exactly. It led to this,” you breathe into his mouth, and Marcus’s brain finally catches up with him. He presses his mouth back to yours greedily, lips locking and moving in unison with yours as he hears your heart monitor speed up to his side. When he pulls away, you bring a hand to his cheek, holding him close to you.
“I love you,” he admits almost sheepishly, tears forming at his lashes. “I—God, I had all these plans for how I was gonna do this, with flowers and chocolates and—" He pauses for a moment, hands flicking to bring various metal medical tools that were left in the room to hover in the air. Scalpels and tweezers and scissors twist into a lopsided heart, which he hands to you as you laugh lightly, careful of the many sharp edges. "I—I love you, and I thought—I thought—”
“I love you too, Marcus,” you quiet him, pulling him into the cramped medical cot with you. He settles into your side, chin to the crown of your head and inhales your scent—when it enters his brain, it brings forward all those plans he had made—plans he thought he lost. Picket fences and white dresses and baby shoes. He’s so absorbed in thought that he doesn’t notice the comfortable silence hanging over the room.
“What’ch’you thinkin’ about up there, Iron Man,” you tease gently. “I can hear your gears turning from here.”
“They—they asked me to be the leader of the Heroics,” he says bashfully.
“And?” you press.
“I told them I’d only do it if you lead the command center,” Marcus retorts, and you look up to him in confusion. “You—you’re the only one I want by my side out there. In life, too—but especially out there.” You nod as if you’re considering his words.
“Okay. I’ll do it,” you agree, watching as Marcus’ face splits into a broad smile. He presses his lips to yours again, almost celebratory, then presses his forehead to yours to bask in your presence.
“I think I figured out your everyday superpower,” Marcus admits shyly, keening when you snuggle closer to him despite the limited space in the cot. You hum in response, waiting for him to continue. “Being you.”
“That’s not a superpower, Marcus,” you complain, playfully swatting his arm.
“It is to me. It is when it’s you,” he responds, and you feel heat rise to your cheeks. You both bask in the moment, finally not focusing on the future or the ideas or planning; you focus on each other. And finally, for the first time in his life, Marcus is thankful for his superpowers.
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Movie Night
Movie night
Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: It’s friday night, or more commonly known as movie night for the Avengers. A horror movie was put on and Y/N isn’t feeling so brave, luckily she’s got a Romanoff nearby.
Warnings: coulrophobia (fear of clowns), mentions of the IT movie and pennywise.
Word Count: 2.5k
Идиоты. - ‘Idiots.’
Requests are open!
“I vote action movie”
“We watched an Action movie last week, Sam.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, briefly looking up and meeting my eyes, earning a small smile in return, attempting to provide some sanity for the man.
“Plus, do you not think we’ve had enough action for one week?” Bucky grumbled, this week having taken a toll on everyone. We were all exhausted from our missions, some more than others, the soldier being one of them.
“Okay okay, no action, damn” Sam put his hands up in defeat, accepting that he wasn’t going to win this one. A few more options had been suggested, Bruce suggested rom-com, Thor suggested comedy, Vision proposed a documentary, all of which were shut down with groans and sounds of protest.
I turned to my assassin girlfriend who had been sitting beside me watching the scene unfold with an amused smirk on her face, her green eyes darting around the room whenever someone else spoke and taking sips of the drink she had in her hand. I nudged her slightly to get her attention
“Hey.”
“Hi”
“If it was up to you, what would you choose for movie night?” I asked. She morphed her face into a thoughtful one, still with a slight smile on her face, taking time to make her decision.
“If it was completely up to me? I would-”
“Aha!” Tony interrupted with a loud snap of his fingers. “I know, we haven’t watched a horror movie in a while, and the new IT movie just came out, we can watch that” He smirked, proud of his contribution to the discussion at hand. I looked around the room, praying that they would pick anything else, literally anything, even Vision’s documentary.
Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be really into it as they all shared nod’s and “yeah” “sounds good” before splitting up to go and get their snacks and blankets to bring back to the large sofa.
Although I wouldn't admit it to the rest of the group, I was absolutely terrified of clowns and have been since I was a child. If there was a clown at a birthday party or an event, I’d pretend I was sick so that my mum wouldn’t make me go. She soon noticed a pattern in my behaviour, putting the pieces together and realising that I hadn't come down with the flu three times that month, I was avoiding the ‘entertainment’ of the parties.
She tried explaining that it was just a guy in makeup and a funny suit, showing off fun tricks and jokes. However, 9 year old me still refused to attend, faking a sneeze and hiding under the blanket.
“Woah, Y/L/N, you good over there?” Tony furrowed his brows, concern written all over his face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I wish it was a ghost.
I regained my composure, nodding and sending a firm smile his way, hoping that would be enough to prevent any further questioning. With a shrug, he made his way out of the room and caught up with Thor to explain what ‘IT’ was.
“You don’t look so good, sure you’re okay?” Nat placed her hand on my back, rubbing small, reassuring circles with her palm. I wanted to put on a brave face and tell her I was fine, that there wasn’t a problem and my heart wasn’t racing with fear, but the look on her face, while caring and concerned, was also warning me not to lie to her. Not that i’d manage anyway, she always had ways of finding out the truth eventually.
I shook my head, letting out a small sigh and turning in my seat to address her. My eyes met hers and I felt my heart settle slightly just by looking at her, she always made me feel safe.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” She whispered, her hand coming up to rest on my cheek, her thumb stroking my cheekbone in small movements.
“It’s so silly, really.”
“Nothing is silly if it’s upsetting you Detka. Tell me.”
“It’s this movie.”
The confusion was obvious on her face, yet she stayed quiet, allowing me to elaborate.
“I just, I’ve never been the best with clowns. Ever since I was a child, I’ve had this fear of them. If I saw one, I’d run in the opposite direction, which was more often than one would think. I mean, seriously, who wants one of those things at a party? What happened to princess parties? Or tea parties!” I exclaimed, my tone becoming more intense as I spoke.
Natasha nodded, I could almost see the cogs turning in her head, figuring out how to approach the situation. After a minute or two, she focused her eyes back on me and her hands had trailed down to meet with mine, interlocking them in the process.
“Do you want to skip it tonight?” She suggested.
“No, no, I don’t want to cause a fuss. Plus, I kinda don’t want the others knowing.”
“Are you absolutely sure? I’m sure we can pull a sickie for one night.”
“I’m sure. Just, can you stay next to me? And let me hide if it gets really bad?”
“Of course you can. I’ll be next to you the whole time.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
___________________
We were at the haunted house scene in the movie. There had already been jumpscares that I'd managed to avoid for the most part, but I don’t think I've moved past Georgie’s death yet, let alone have time to process the psycho killer clown on the screen.
Eddie was in a room alone, he was staring at this dirty, old fridge and a white hand had appeared, curling itself around and tapping on the side so you could only see it’s fingers. I tugged the blanket that was laid across Natasha and i’s laps and pulled it up to my nose, eyes still on the screen, but prepared to take cover. It appears as though nothing has changed from all those years ago.
As the fridge door creaked open, my blanket had raised higher and higher, my grip tightening by the second while the hand reappeared, this time, you could see it’s entire body contorted into this small space.
“Nope. No, absolutely fucking not. No.” I mumbled, covering my eyes with my fluffy shield. Luckily, Nat had stolen the sofa at the back, meaning I could skip the scary parts without anyone taking much notice, them being too entranced by the movie. Weirdo’s.
In my safety bubble I'd created, I felt my girlfriend’s hand on my thigh, rubbing small circles to reassure me that I was okay, and that she was here. I shuffled a little so I was closer to her, if that was even possible, her then adjusting so that her hand was still on my thigh, but another arm was wrapped securely around me, pulling me into her side a little more.
I assumed we would stay like that for a bit, until she started to shift more noticeably and lifted the part of the blanket closest to her, and put it over her own head, taking me by surprise, a faint gasp leaving my lips when seeing that she’d joined me.
“You doing okay under here?” She spoke softly, a hint of amusement playing on her face as she looked at me folded up into a ball.
“I am. This blanket protects me from all.”
“Of course it does, the fluffier it is, the more protection, right?” She quoted words i’d spoken earlier on when bringing in the blanket for us.
“Are you sure you’re not going to boil under there?”
“Nope. And even if I do, the fluffier the blanket, the more protection from cannibal clowns.” I’d explained proudly. Yes, I'm an Avenger that fights extraterrestrials and demigods and still runs to a blanket for safety, leave me alone.
We stayed under there for a minute or two, holding hands and sharing small kisses while the movie continued and we hid in our little bubble.
“C’mon lovebirds, the movie isn’t over yet, you can continue that when we’ve gone to bed if you must.” Stark called out, causing Natasha to roll her eyes and retreat back to her previous position.
I don’t know what ran through my mind, I clearly didn’t think twice about the situation I was in, my default being to follow Natasha and pull the blanket down and off my head. Upon resurfacing from my cocoon, I looked towards the Television. Bad idea. With a shriek that I'm almost certain could be heard from Asgard, I flew under the blanket again after seeing Pennywise with all of his teeth on show, edging towards Eddie to eat him.
Natasha’s arms wound their way around me again, slightly shaking now from the fright. Even though the blanket tended to muffle sounds, I could hear the room fill with laughter and comments from the Avengers.
“I didn’t know your voice could go that high Y/L/N”
“Pennywise! You scared Y/N!”
“Y/N, it’s literally-”
“How about you guys shut up and watch the movie? Otherwise I swear to god Thor, I’ll bring snakes in here and Sam, I’ll cut the wings off of your suit.” I heard the redhead next to me threaten, alongside some more punishments to the others who laughed, immediately silencing them, all of them knowing that she wasn’t one for an empty threat.
Even though the laughter died down and no more words were spoken, tears still built up in my eyes and were daring to fall down my cheeks. I feel so embarrassed. A room full of superheroes and I was scared to death over a fictional clown in front of all of them.
I tried to keep my sniffles to a minimum and at a level where no one could hear me, however, they seemed to have caught Nat’s attention as she whispered to me, loud enough for me to hear, but quietly so that it was only me that could hear.
“Mind if I come in?”
I chose not to verbally respond, instead, I pulled the edge of the blanket up, allowing her to bend down and make her way underneath. After making herself comfortable, she turned to me and did, what felt like study, my face before tutting under her breath.
“Идиоты. Are you okay?” I smiled at her speaking Russian. She often switched between the two, interchanging within sentences. I’d been around her enough to pick up on some of the terms, funnily enough she’d said that word so often, my understanding was immediate.
“Feeling a bit humiliated” My voice came out weak and slightly gravelly from the crying, her thumb immediately wiped the tears off of my cheeks, lingering afterwards.
“Don’t be. Everyone has their fears, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by having them. Okay? It just means you're human.” She patiently explained, sparking a question to leave my lips before realising.
“Do you have a fear?”
She smiled “mhm”
“Can I know what it is?”
She leaned in closer to me, lips hovering beside my ear so I could feel and hear her breathing quietly.
“Идиоты” She whispered, resulting in me clamping my hand over my mouth to limit the noise my laughter was making.
“There’s that smile I love.” She took my chin in her index finger and her thumb, her face once again, coming closer towards mine before our lips met in the middle, sharing a soft, quick kiss, distracting me from any embarrassment i’d previously felt.
________________
The movie had just finished, everyone was getting up and starting to clear up any mess they’d made, mainly popcorn that had fallen everywhere, Wanda and Vision being the main culprit, jumping at the scary parts had caused a popcorn avalanche near their seats.
Nat and I gathered our blankets and snacks we’d brought in, trying to ignore the slight tension hanging in the air, and just as we were about to walk to our bedroom, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Peter.
Rocking back and forth on his heels and fidgeting with his hands, he smiled.
“Hey, uh- miss Y/L/N. Miss Romanoff, sorry, I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay.” He rushed, clearly anxious to approach us considering the telling off Natasha gave everyone earlier.
“I’m okay, thank you Peter. You can call me Y/N by the way, ‘miss’ makes me feel old.” I chuckled, visibly seeing his shoulders relax at my response, he was really sweet, never wanting to get on anyone’s bad side. He’s a good kid.
“Sorry mi-,Y/N, sorry, I’ll remember for next time. That movie was pretty freaky, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
“I will, thank you.”
Feeling more relaxed, I made a slow but steady beeline for the bedroom, wanting to have cuddles with Nat and go to sleep, hopefully forget the movie ever happened. Soon enough, we were both changed into a vest top, I wore a pair of shorts and Nat wore a pair of sweats and we were in bed, facing each other with our legs tangled together, our noses bumping every so often.
“I love you” I mumbled in between kisses, eyes opening briefly to be met by her green orbs looking back at me.
“I love you more, Detka.”
A silence then overtook the room, only being able to hear the breeze outside and a slight whistle from where it was flying through the trees. I’d usually adore this, finding peace in the wind and the darkness, tonight however, it felt unsettling. All I could hear in my head was the soundtrack to the movie, picturing the bloody teeth and that creepy smile from earlier in my head.
“Love?” I nudged my girlfriend’s nose gently, hoping she was still somewhat awake.
“Mhmm?”
“Can you, can you possibly sing to me?” Her eyes fluttered open, a sleepy smile on her face, wrapping her arms tightly around me before humming a quiet melody, sending me into a blissful sleep.
By noon the next day, I had received apologies from everyone in the compound, a couple of bone crushing hugs from Thor and some complementary pancakes that Wanda had made with some help from Bruce, aprons on and covered in flour. Everyone tucked into their individual stacks, enjoying some lighthearted conversation, Nat taking the opportunity to press a small kiss to the back of my hand, I quickly returned the gesture. It was lovely.
Movie night was a rollercoaster, but at the end of the day, I was surrounded by the best people, and nothing would change that, not even the fear of clowns.
Though they’re still really fucking scary.
taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives
#Natasha romanoff#Natasha romanoff fic#natasha romanoff fanfiction#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff lfuff#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanova#natalie rushman#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff oneshot#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanov
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Night talks and Dim Sum
Shangqi x Reader
A/N: Hey y’all! This is my first time trying to write a one-shot/fic on tumblr. I have an existing wattpad account where I have some stories published! It’s mainly DC (young justice) combined with hunger games so if you are a fan, do check out @Runnerpottermore! Anyways, I have no idea why I suddenly decided to write a fic after so long - maybe because I wasn’t going through the best of days and also watched the movie recently? I just love the whole cast in general and Mr Simu Liu just killed his role - so yeah! Before I ramble on, I hope you enjoy my fic that I came up with!
Genre: Fluff, PG13, platonic friendship that can maybe turn into something more?
Warning: None? Just maybe broken Mandarin and sweaty people?
Extra Note: Please be kind to me!🥺
‘Bye.’
I take a deep breath, moving the cursor to close the window. Another day was done. Leaning back against the office chair, I stare up into the celling before closing my eyes, taking in the conversation a few hours ago.
‘It’s difficult to change what has already been so ingrained into our childhood. But what you can do is ask - what is the part of yourself that you want to keep?’
Rubbing my temples from the simple yet complex question, I decided that it was time to hit the road and get some fresh air. It was 6pm, Shangqi and Katy were probably still at the hotel.
As dreadful as running sounded to many people, this was one of the days where I could just zone out and mull over the day. The feeling of my shoes pounding into the pavement, body slowly being covered by a sheet of sweat… it felt good. Turning into the last corner of the run, a light tap on my shoulder jolted me out of my little world.
‘Woah is just me!’ My sudden stop had almost resulted me barreling right into Shangqi’s equally sweaty frame. He gives me his signature boyish grin only to earn a smack on his shoulder.
‘干嘛!’ (gànmá) [‘What are you doing!’]
‘吓死我了!’ (xià sǐ wǒ le!) [‘You scared me!’] I retorted back, removing my headphones. ‘What are you doing here, I thought you still had work?’
‘We did, but our shift ended early so I thought I’ll get in a quick run.’
‘10km is quick?’ I look at his phone that was calculating the distance, brows raised. ‘You’re a beast.’
‘Ha ha, very funny. Enough about me, what’s got you out today? I thought you were taking a break?’ We walked side by side, towards the direction of a renowned dim sum stall. ‘Yeah…’ I dragged my words for a while, hesitating to continue. ‘Just needed to think some things through.’ Shangqi nods. That’s the thing I liked about him. He never forced me to tell him things that I didn’t want to. He would wait quietly until I was ready.
‘I don’t know if I’m even going in the right direction. I thought I was doing things right - getting the grades, making sure I understood what was being taught at school… I was so sure that I could help people if I put my mind to it. But these feelings of not being able to do more… I don’t even know my future as a social worker anymore.’ I bit my lips, kicking a stray pebble.
‘Hold up!’ Shangqi steps in front of me, gripping the sides of my shoulders. ‘What did you say?’ He asks me in mock disbelief. ‘I said I’m not a good-‘
‘Nope! The conversation before this has been void! Because the (Y/N) I know is an amazing person and social worker who helps these kids to become the better version of themselves.’ He waves towards the many young Asian-American kids running around merrily in the playground as if to make his statement. A small smile formed on my lips watching Shangqi’s exaggerated movements to the disapproval of an elderly man with wispy white hair. He seemed to have noticed the looks he was getting as he dropped his hands to the sides in embarrassment.
‘Look, my point is that not many people can do what you do. Putting people before yourself, how many people would do that in this world?’
I throw him a skeptical glance. ‘You’re doing it. You’re a literal superhero that stopped a mythical creature from destroying our world. Not that it hasn’t happened.’ Shangqi snorts, ‘Sure. But hear me out. Who were the people that worked day and night to restore some order when the snap happened? Who made sure that these young kids weren’t afraid and reassured them that everything was going to be alright.’
He did have a point. Five years ago, the whole world was thrown into chaos. If I could forget something, it would be the chaos at the children and youth center on the exact day of the snap. Kids as young as four, crying uncontrollably for their missing parents. The older children who put on brave faces for their younger siblings but they too couldn’t make sense of the situation. The remaining social workers scrambling to attend to every need, every child. I was one of them. The sleepless nights, the constant worries - the social services were already overloaded, anymore pressure and the whole industry would collapse. I wanted to believe him but the doubts were becoming stronger by the minute.
Shangqi carefully stares at me as if analyzing my micro expression. ‘I know what I’m saying won’t change anything instantly. But what I do know is that we all have these moments of doubt, even me. I can’t offer you professional advice, but just like how Katy, my aunt and my mom were there for me when I needed them the most in Ta Lo, I’ll be here if you want to talk.’
‘You’re a good friend you know that right.’ My heart felt much lighter compared to the day.
‘Better than Katy?’
‘Don’t push it.’ I joked, eliciting laughter from both of us. Before we knew it, we arrived at the dim sum stall. As always, it was bustling with hungry customers. ‘Come on! Katy’s got a seat for us already, I’m starving!’ He opened the door for an young couple pushing a stroller.
‘Wait!’ Shangqi looks at me curiously. ‘I know we’re both sweaty but I think the situation calls for one.’ I gave a huge hug, ‘Thank you, that meant a lot to me.’
The sudden bear hug definitely threw the man off, but he to was glad for the heart to heart conversation. For more reasons than one.
‘Alright then! Who’s up for some char siew bao! I’m gonna inhale them - deserved it!’ I loudly declared my war against the dim sum, walking towards Katy who was enthusiastically waving at us.
Little did I know, there was a lot going on in Shangqi’s mind too.
A/N: Wew! That was long! If you’ve read it up till here, thank you for reading it! This idea really just popped out at the last minute so I’m not sure if it’s to y’all taste. Please do forgive me for my inaccurate translation - I am Chinese but like Katy my Mandarin is super rusty. Also whichever countries you come from, please give your social workers more recognition. They deserve it for a long time coming! Do give a comment or like if you wish! Just here to write and try and give simple joy to people who are such fans of Shangqi and the MCU in general.
#xu shangqi#shangqi imagine#shangqi x reader#mcu phase 4#shang chi#Shang chi x reader#fluff#platonic#possibly suggestions of unrequited love?
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Movies Watched '22
Queenpins
Started off the year strong with an excellent movie! This movie was so much fun to watch these ladies rip off the corporations through fraudulently manufacturing coupons and selling them for a profit. It was absolutely hilarious that to 'clean up' their black money they just bought luxury goods and guns to find out that their money was already clean. A very fun movie, and the best touch was the long-haired cashier who absolutely hated Kristen Bell.
Minnal Murali
This was an utterly charming Malyali superhero movie! Ton of fun!
Mitchells vs The Machines
This was such a fun movie! I really enjoyed this family's adventures. I loved the main character's little brother, their relationship was so adorable! It was hilarious that the two robots just declared themselves as adopted members of the family and just continued to live with them.
Encanto
This was a great movie musical with an interesting plot and complicated characters. Very well executed, and a very enjoyable watch overall! The reconciliation scene was so heart wrenching. A simple but effective story.
Stardust
I thought that this was a sci-fi movie from the title, but I was surprised as this was a pure fantasy movie. I really enjoyed watching this movie - I can't believe I haven't even heard about it when it was initially released, but even after 15 years it holds up really well! I love that the crazy king just straight up killed his own son - the absolute savagery of it. The ghosts watching and commenting was hilarious! No wonder it has a cult following! Robert De Niro stole all his scenes! Easily one of my favourite pirates of all time! Also, I wish people mentioned just how similar the movie is to Princess Bride. I only regret not watching it sooner!
The Adam Project
A very enjoyable movie. The child actor did a phenomenal job. Had a ton of fun with this movie! Can't believe Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo were finally reunited.
Turning Red
This was a fun movie, but it didn't leave a lasting impression on me. I did appreciate the beautiful animation but the story didn't resonate with me personally.
Wedding Crashers
Watched this randomly and it was okay.
The Batman
Finally ended up watching this movie, and I really enjoyed a more detective Batman story. I was really excited to see The Riddler on the big screen. I felt how much the movie was inspired by Year One, Long Halloween and the Arkham series of video games in the aesthetic of the city and the relationship between Catwoman and Batman. I like the overall message of the story, and while I don't think this movie was perfect, I am looking forward to seeing more stories like this from Matt Reeves. Personally, I am sick of seeing The Joker on screen and hope they come up with different storylines, but I'm not holding out hope that its the direction they will go.
Sonic the Hedgehog Movie
It was alright. Fairly fun movie that I half-watched. Not sure why large every video game franchise is suddenly getting a movie.
Top Gun: Maverick
I am not immune to american military propaganda. I really enjoyed this movie though, from the pacing to the story it was overall an excellent time. Definitely worth watching in theatres!
Vikram
This movie started off as a satire mocking Rajini-kanth with the first dance, but it was an engaging action movie. It was definitely way more violent than most Tamil movies, though I appreciated how few songs were included in the movie. I felt like the second half of the movie was a bit slower and felt like it dragged on too long compared to the first half of the movie. I really dislike the confrontation at the end of the movie full of CGI. All that said, it was fairly enjoyable to watch if going out with friends.
Nope
Finally watched this movie. I really enjoyed how this movie build up to the alien reveal.
Emma (2020)
I loved this movie. It was so much fun to watch! I think my favourite bit was Emma's dad freaking out about drafts/chills and constantly worrying about catching a chill.
The Family (2013)
I really enjoyed this movie as well. It was a lot of fun!
Coraline
Definitely creepy but quite enjoyable. I would have been scarred if I first saw this as a kid.
BeetleJuice (1988)
What a fun movie! It was way more wholesome than I expected!
#films#movies#saiangeloposts#stardust 2007#the adam project#saiangelo tracker#encanto#the mitchells vs the machines#turning red#minnal murali#wedding crashers#queenpins#the batman#sonic the hedgehog#top gun maverick#vikram#nope#the family#emma 2020#coraline#beetlejuice
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My journey in the MCU fandom on Tumblr: Sharing my thoughts on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, racism in the MCU fandom and the best and the worse of the fandom
I wasn’t going to write this much but here I am… I don’t even know where I’m going with this but since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just recently came out, I wanted to share some thoughts.
I joined Tumble because of a show I loved but most of you don’t know it “ Hit the Floor”
I stayed on Tumblr for two reasons only, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan.
Before the Captain America:Civil War premiere, a friend sent me the link to the Sebastian and Anthony ET interview, and I was hooked. In just one interview. I discovered Anthony Mackie. The guy was hilarious!!! I just couldn’t get enough and I knew I had to know more about him. How could he improvise so many funny lines on the spot? He was just amazing.
I had pretty much watched all the avengers movie but that was it. I was not involved in the fandom. So I knew Sam Wilson’s face, but I couldn’t even remember his name if my life depended on it. That’s how much the MCU treated him as a side character.
I was like how the f*ck don’t I know this guy?
His talent reminded me of Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, like yes they can make some emotional or serious movies, but when they want to make you laugh, you will laugh. Whether you want it or not. I kept wondering how this guy wasn’t more famous.
And the banter with Sebastian Stan? Wow, you could tell their friendship was strong, the way Sebastian lighted up when Anthony was talking, and keep bouncing off his jokes. It was art. the way Sebastian said “ I love you” at the end of the interview. Pure gold.
I then started to watch some of the interviews and boy was that a mistake!!! I literally couldn’t get enough. So I watched all and I say all their interviews, it was the best. We got some gems:
“Why aren’t you looking at me as much”
“Which way is the beach Seabass”
*Them saying nonsense in Spanish and then Sebastian Saying Papi Chulo*
¨And so many more, ....
I watched other solo Anthony interviews and he was still HILARIOUS, but you could also tell he felt a little bit more at ease with Sebastian around. I won’t pretend I know him or his personality, but Sebastian seems like a little bit more of an introvert and looks like he doesn’t enjoy the interview experience unless Anthony id around him. Just my thoughts
I watched the interviews before I went to see the movie, I even cosplayed as the Winter Soldier to the movie premiere and I was IN!!! When I saw Captain America Civil War, I became a SamBucky shipper, these two were hilarious and I really so the potential for a great realtionship I love enemy to lovers stories.
I also shipped Stucky because, to me, the trope of the movie was Superhero gives up everything to protect his long term friend” Hollywood movies have some codes and if Bucky were a female character, there is no doubt in my mind that the movie would have been marketed as romance.
Stucky really was an easy ship! But then the MCU fandom of Tumblr fandom messed up everything for me. You see I really liked the CACW and I I liked Stucky, I liked Sambucky, and I loved the introduction of t’Challa’s character, but one of things that affected me the most in the movie was that it was the first blockbuster I watched with 3 black main characters, Rhodey, Sam and T’Challa. That, and the fact that they were planning to realease a Black Panther movie in two years, I was super excited, and that’s the main reason I got involved in the MCU fandom so much, when before, I was just a casual watcher.
If this seem weird to you, then you have no idea how we were only getting crumbs before. For me it was soo huge, I even told all my friends, and they were laughing at me. But usually blockbusters, especially superhero movies get one black character and that’s it, usually the best friend or something and never the leads. So, for me it really was a big deal. How sad is that by the way…
I became more involved in the fandom and, at first, I wasn’t focusing on anything special, Sambucky, Stucky, Stackie, the Black Panther, and even Zemo, whose character I really liked.
But soon I noticed that the CACW tags were always flooded, and I mean flooded with the same two white characters: Steve and Bucky. I told myself, ok that’s fine Steve is the lead after all, but it would be good to see the other characters too.
And then I noticed another interesting trend: Evanstan…. Wait what?
Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan… did I miss something? Listen, obviously I’m sure they must be friends or something, but you’re going to tell me you watch all MCU the actors and you’re going to focus on Steve and Sebastian? I’m sorry what?
Sebastian and Anthony are right there… Or Chris and Anthony, they even have a secret handshake, only the 2 of them do… what more do you want?
Tell me one iconic Evanstan moment… go ahead tell me… See??? There isn’t.
Because of this and because of how badly some Stuckies were treating Sam and Anthony. I became less and less of a stucky shipper . I mainly focused on SamBucky, Stackie and the Black Panther,
And then the Sebastian Stan stans saw how popular Stackie, Sambucky, were becoming and I started to see some problematic stuff in our fandom too.
I don’t want to generalize, but when you go into the Stackie tag, and you see cropped pictures of Sebastian without Anthony, it’s easy to assume that a Sebastian fan did that. And we know damn well you cropped out Anthony because we watched all Stackie interviews and know exactly which interview your picture was taken from. We know that Anthony was sitting right next to Seb.
You post a picture of Sebastian laughing but you crop out the person who was making him laugh??
“but it has nothing to do with race” How do you know that?
“Sebastian had more screen time” More screen time than Anthony in CATWS or CACW? I don’t think so.
“I have been a fan of Sebastian for longer”, that’s fine but don’t go out cropping Anthony, just post gifs of Seb in his usual, sad, and Anthony-less interviews, not the ones where he’s smiling because his best friend is next to him.
Some of you really are the worst. And just so you know, your fave Sebastian is Anthony’s biggest fan, if he saw pictures where you cropped out Anthony, he would block you on the spot.
When I realized that Anthony Mackie would be the next Captain America I was screaming, no actually, I was crying, Sam Wilson will be Captain America, and Anthony would finally get the recognition he deserves.
You would think that the MCU fandom would focus on Captain America or at least one the two leads, instead of just Sebastian? Right? Right? WRONG.
Anthony is handsome, he’s funny, he’s a great actor, he went to freaking Julliard, he’s at the top, I don’t see what else the man can do??? He should already be a superstar, but no, you will side-line him even to he is the lead of the show.
Even when they are the actual leads, you guys would do anything to bring up the White characters even if it means ignoring the Black characters.
I remember I was having a conversation about Black Panther with my friends and I asked one of my white friends who was his favorite character in BP was and he told me Martin Freeman (don’t even remember his name in the movie) Martin Freaking Freeman, there are half a dozen of great characters and your fave is the only white man??? Ok, ok, that’s great.
Don’t give out automatic reply like “It has nothing to do with race, if you haven’t thought about it first”, because there’s a high probability that it is indeed about race. Stop saying it isn’t, sit down and ask yourself, “Am I biased?” “Why am I reblogging only stuff related to the white characters”.
One of these days you guys are going to make me hate Sebastian with the sh*t you are pulling.
I looove the Stackie friendship and the Sambucky dynamic but after seeing the way some of you treat Anthony and Sam’s character, it make me want to focus on Sam’s character and forget about the rest.
I remember they were some posts about how Anthony was problematic, and I just lost it. Apparently, there was an old article that resurfaced were Anthony was making a joke about women making sandwiches or something.
If you were offended by the sandwich joke, that is totally ok, and I can understand that.
But if you were offended by the sandwich joke, and saying Anthony is problematic BUT you still stan Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, ScarJo or even Sebastian Stan, just know that there is a high probability you’re racist.
They have all said or done problematic stuff, and people only seem to remember stuff related to Anthony, which was probably just a joke by the way.
Chris Evans and Jeremy called Black widow a wh*re, ScarJo took roles that she maybe shouldn’t have and I didn’t forget Sebastian shady Instagram post, when Kaepernick was kneeling. There are so many more things to be said about Jeremy Renner but google is your friend.
Anthony also got hate for hating on Tom Holland? Like what? Do you guys even hear yourselves? Don’t you have any friends you like to tease? If you hate someone, do you go around talking about him every chance you get? It was obviously friendly banter but some people wanted to turn it into something it was not. Sigh.
I really cannot with this fandom
The stackie fandom was small at the beginning and the Sambucky fandom even smaller, but we were there and it was amazing. Sebastian and Anthony received the same amount of love from the fandom and I wish we could go back to those days.
Stop pretending the fandom isn’t racist. Stop saying “it isn’t about race” when you haven’t even thought about.
Saying “it has nothing to do with race” only shows that you haven’t thought about anything but don’t want to be called a racist.
There is racism in this fandom and it will always be there, but if you guys want to do anything about it, you have to acknowledge it first.
You can’t be pulling off stuff like “I don’t see colors”, “ it has nothing to do with race”. Stop, sit down, think about it and then we can have a conversation.
If you’ve made it till the end, I apologize for the typos and grammar mistakes, I wasn’t planning on writing this much.
#tfatws#anthony mackie#Sebastian Stan#stackie#sambucky#Chris Evans#captain america#CACW#fandom racism#I didn't mean to write this much#my posts
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